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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

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(FINE I guess this is a series now. whatever.)

“He’s where,” says Steve.

“Off to see the wizard, my dude.” Argyle passes him a pipe. Steve’s not really sure where it came from or when Argyle packed it, but he’s got manners, so he takes a hit and hands it off to Jonathan.

“Murray,” elaborates Jonathan, on an exhale. “The…you know. Oh wow, I guess you’ve never met Murray either. That’s weird, right? I mean, you were there, you were just…”

“Babysitting, probably,” says Steve. “Wait, why is Eddie meeting this guy?”

Argyle gestures in a big loopy way. It reminds Steve a little bit of how Eddie waves his arms around. “Eddie’s on, like, a spiritual journey. A dream quest, but…real life. The realest.”

“Not spiritual like church,” adds Jonathan. “Like, gay spirit. Is that a thing? Shit, why doesn’t anyone know Murray.”

“I don’t know Murray either, man,” says Argyle.

“Is…Murray a real person?” Steve asks. He doesn’t think it’s an unreasonable question.

“Yes! Jesus. He’s real, okay? Nancy knows Murray, we—yeah. Nancy knows him.” Jonathan looks kind of dour and depressed, but he always sort of looks like that.

“How’s Nancy doing?” Steve doesn’t really want to know, but it seems like the polite thing to say.

“We’re fine,” says Jonathan.

“Okay,” says Steve, who hadn’t asked that at all.

“Everything’s fine,” Jonathan repeats. Argyle reaches over to pat Jonathan on the head, then takes the pipe from Jonathan’s hand.

———

“Hm,” says Murray. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking behind all the facial hair and glasses. “Okay, I don’t usually do this, but…what the hell. Kiddo, you are way too young to be talking like that. Your life’s not over, and if you’re smart about it, it doesn’t have to be over any time soon.”

Murray sits back on the couch, kicking up his feet. There’s a hole in his left sock.

“You think happily ever after only looks like one thing? That’s the thought of a child. If you really want, you can make some kind of picket fence life for yourself, suburbs and all. But you’re a queer, so that means you don’t have to do that shit because nobody’s expecting you to anymore. You get to decide what matters to you.”

“I don’t know any way to be gay that’s not lonely as hell,” Eddie says.

“That’s because you’re an idiot and an infant,” says Murray gently.

“You don’t have a—a boyfriend.” It comes out a little too sharp and mean, but Eddie’s feeling cornered.

Murray laughs. “Kid, what did I just say? I don’t want a damn boyfriend. Some guy coming over here all the time, eating my food? Hell no. We’re degenerate homos, we get to decide what to keep and what to shove down the god damn garbage disposal. I got some arrangements in place, and that’s the way I like it. The whole lovey-dovey romance shit isn’t for me.”

Eddie draws his legs up, wrapping his arms around his shins. His boots are probably leaving marks on the couch, but Murray can deal. “I think it…I think that is for me. I want that to be for me. Um. In general.”

Murray actually tilts his head down to give Eddie a scathing look over the top of his glasses. “No shit, Joan Jett. Your whole ooh please push past my defenses to prove you love me schtick is visible from space.”

“Fuck,” says Eddie, knocking his head against his knees. He closes his eyes, humiliated beyond words, feeling scooped-out and awful.

“C’mon, it’s not that bad.” Eddie feels a tap on his arm, and when he looks up, Murray’s holding out a glass with about an inch of amber liquid in it. “We all go through something like that. It’s a rite of passage, just like it is to get so wasted you throw up on the stranger you dragged into a club bathroom. You’ll do that too. You’re gonna be messy and embarrassing anyway, so just enjoy the ride. And take the damn Talisker, it’ll help.”

Eddie takes the damn Talisker and knocks it back in one go, just to be an ass. Murray rolls his eyes but pours him another one.

“Ah, practical shit…” Murray scratches at his beard thoughtfully. “Been a while since I had to do this. Poppers are great, don’t overdo ‘em. Splurge on the fancy medical lube if you want but Vaseline or Crisco’ll do the trick just fine. And listen up, kitten, because you can ignore everything else that comes outta my mouth, but you can’t ignore this: always wrap it up. I mean always. I don’t care if he’s your soulmate, I don’t care if it kills the mood, I don’t care if he says he’s a blushing goddamn virgin. If he doesn’t want to wear a rubber, he doesn’t care if you live or die.”

Murray looks down at his own glass. For the first time, Eddie thinks he looks—tired.

“I know there’s probably a big part of you that doesn’t care if you live or die, either. But you gotta remember there’s people who do. The kid who sent you to me. He doesn’t want to go to your funeral.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. It comes out too quiet; he swallows and tries again. “Yeah. I know. I’ve—been to funerals too.”

Murray barks out a surprised laugh. “God, you have, haven’t you? Think I was almost thirty, my first time. I’m sorry, Joan Jett, this isn’t a great time to be young and gay. Go make friends with some dykes, they’ll keep you sane.”

Eddie, who has held Robin’s hair back as she ralphed into a bucket after losing a Peeps-eating competition with Steve, has his doubts, but he just nods.

Murray looks at him for a moment, then takes his face between two big hands and kisses him on the forehead. It feels neither sexual nor familial, but something beyond all of the easy categories Eddie’s known.

“Now piss off,” Murray says. “Don’t get some crazy idea that this means we’re friends, or that you can start coming around whenever you feel like it.”

“So, just Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Sunday,” says Eddie, and ducks out before Murray can start cussing at him.

———

See, Eddie’s little crush on Steve is meant to be purely recreational. It’s fun to crush on unavailable guys he knows—way more fun than celebrities or whatever. It’s just nice, to feel his heart speed up a little when Steve’s around, safe in the certain knowledge that he’s never going to do a damn thing about it. It even feels good to hurt a little bit over it, achy and sharp, like pushing on a bruise.

Yeah, Eddie knows he’s a little fucked up. But he figures this is harmless enough: a secret little vice that nobody’s ever going to know about.

Apparently, everybody knows.

“Um,” says Jonathan, wide-eyed. “Was it…supposed to be a secret?”

“Yes,” hisses Eddie. “Because this is Hawkins, Indiana, and I don’t want to fucking die. Did we or did we not just have a conversation about the many and various perils this whole thing entails.”

“My dude, if you don’t want it to be, like, public knowledge, maybe don’t flirt with him so much?”

“Betrayal!” Eddie gasps, staggering around like he’s been stabbed in the back, because he fucking has. “An unjust hit by Argyle the Assassin.”

“Argyle the Assistant,” says Argyle. “I’m assisting you, bro.”

“I don’t flirt with Steve!” Eddie screeches. “We’re friends! I flirt with you two dickwads more than I do with Steve, because I don’t flirt with Steve!”

“You really do,” says Jonathan apologetically. “Kind of…a lot. Remember when we were out by the quarry, and you kept calling him princess.”

“As a joke!”

“Ohhh yeah,” says Argyle. “That was the day you, like…took his jacket, right?”

“I was cold!”

Jonathan grins. “Is that why you kept asking him how it looked on you?”

“As…a joke,” says Eddie, weakly. He’s starting to remember that it might’ve been even worse; the words do I look pretty in your clothes, Stevie may or may not have been uttered.

“Hey, man, it’s no biggie. That was a million years ago and he didn’t say anything, so you’re free and clear. Totally righteous.” Argyle throws an arm around Eddie, who curls into him sulkily. Argyle’s tall and solid and kinda hot, so it’s a real shame Eddie can’t crush on him instead.

Eddie sighs. “If Jonathan weren’t here, I’d ask you to make out with me until I felt better,” he says.

“What,” says Jonathan. “You can’t—I mean, you can, and I, uh—support you? Should I leave?”

“Aw,” says Argyle, and ruffles Eddie’s hair. “That’s sweet, dude. If Jonathan weren’t here, I would.”

“What is happening,” says Jonathan. “I’m gonna—should I leave? I’m gonna leave.”

Eddie whines, “No, c’mon, stay, we’ll do that seance. That’ll make me feel better too. Maybe we can resurrect my deceased heterosexuality.”

They don’t manage to raise any ghosts or any heterosexualities, but it does make Eddie feel a little better anyway.

#cw: reference to the AIDS crisis #fic: young man what do you wanna be #yup that's the new title. yup it's from the YMCA song by the Village People.#1) it's a gay disco standard 2) it represents the level of seriousness with which you should treat this series #I genuinely do not know if this will ever be posted on AO3 because I'm putting so little effort into making it a coherent story #instead of a vehicle for eddie + jargyle interactions #ALSO I do not actually know if pipes were super common in the 80s. I did zero research on any part of this. just go with it shhh

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queerwolfsstuff · 9 months

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TW: mentions of bullying, suicidal ideation, and a toxic fangroup in the SPN fandom

This is all I’ll say about the recent revelations, and forewarning, a lot of swearing ahead:

I have a genuine question. Why is the Supernatural fandom as toxic as it is? Don't get me wrong, there are pockets of joy and wonder, forces for good, and a mobilization for worthy causes I have yet to see in any fandom except maybe that of the Our Flag Means Death fandom (albeit on a slightly smaller scale, and there’s quite a bit of crossover).

Like quite a few of you, I curated my own little chunk of paradise in this fandom in making three amazing, true friends (@anyreiart, @eyesofatragedy67, and @punk-is-notdead), and while I don't actively engage very much with the rest of the fandom, because it overwhelms me, the few times I have, have been generally good experiences. Has it all been sunshine and gay angel rainbows? No.

All of us have experienced negative things in some capacity. A rude comment on art or fanfiction, specifically in mine and Any’s case: a relatively well known fandom persona told people not to read the last chapter of one of our fics, and that was because that person didn't like a section of the last chapter. I’m sure that person justified to themselves that telling other people not to read someone’s work was some sort of, misguided warning, and all because that one person didn't like one part of our fanfiction. But I digress, we have seen the capacity for toxicity, but a lot of the time that has been part of the “ship war” discourse. Again, in our case, it was a brief negative interlude with a mod at the now closed SPN newsletter.

All water under a murky bridge, but the revelations of late are absolutely abhorrent. Fandom to me, as someone who has been involved in several fandoms for the past 22 years, has always been a safe space, especially as a neurodivergent queer person. I started at 17, in the fandom for the wizard boy series I won't say because of the TERF who shall not be named, but it was… not like this.

Now it's very possible that I didn't see as much (hell, I had no idea about any of this SHACgate garbage until this week because I don't really interact with folx much), but unlike now, during the wizard boy series time, I was very active, accepted into elite LiveJournal communities and while I was never a “BNF”, I got to share spaces with some incredibly talented people. And I do not ever remember the sort of discourse I have seen in the Supernatural fandom. Not even whispers of it. Ship wars have been and sadly probably always will be a thing, but this infighting, vicious, manipulative, cult-like shit? Nah, man, at least not as far as I saw.

A majority of us recently found out in the SPN fandom, and specifically among the Destiel shippers, multiple adults in some elite discord server, got involved in multiple bullying campaigns over the years and toxic, (and let's be honest) evil fucking behavior all over the simplest, or even pettiest fucking things. And what kills me, is a good majority of the orchestrators and primary toxicity peddlers, say they are neurodivergent, and/or queer, and/or disabled. That means, statistically, they themselves have probably been bullied at some point in their lives.

Yet they still chose to harass, block and ignore, “mean girls” burn-book fellow fandom folx, supposedly even their friends, all because "so and so told me to" or because they felt justified in doing so for whatever seemingly honorable reason. Many people who have come forward about their previous or prior involvement state their participation or silence in these campaigns was for fear of retribution or cancellation. Which to a degree is perfectly understandable, but in chasing the divine, these participants compromised their own values, and just because they used their fame for good a lot, doesn't really balance out how they used their fame for evil, too. Personally, I don't think it works like that.

But I'm not here to soapbox about the morality and ethics of their choices. Either they know they did bad things and are working toward undoing the damage and darkness, or they're going to continue to blame others and refuse accountability by releasing disingenuous apologies that essentially equate to, "He only gets mean when he drinks." Either way, that's between them, their friends and family, and their flying spaghetti monster.

No, what I’m genuinely confused about is why the toxicity in the SPN fandom seems so particularly… PG&E in Erin Brockovich about things. I mean, come on. Seriously? A bunch of grown ass adults bullying people, sending death threats, doxxing, harassing, pulling some high school bullshit, block and ignore tactics to dehumanize and traumatize people, some even to the point of suicidal ideation? I'm sorry, that’s fucking gross and this whole goddamn thing is fucking ridiculous. Especially if these perpetrators were bullied themselves at some point in their lives.

And don't get me wrong, with a history of loving problematic ships, I absolutely live for redemption arcs for villains, but the reality is, there needs to be a glimmer of goodness inside for that to work, and how any adult can think that sort of behavior is okay, or justified … I don't know. Some of the perpetrators may be past a redemption arc. Too far gone. In Ted Lasso (spoiler obvs) everybody got a redemption arc except for Rupert, and that was because he was irredeemable.

This behavior should be irredeemable, but that’s my personal opinion, and everyone is allowed their own. But I will admit, even my own opinion can waver. There needs to be a sense of sincerity in the first step, which is accepting responsibility and apologizing, hence why I don’t think every single person who participated is irredeemable.

I applaud the victims, those who were hurt, in finding the ability to forgive their bullies, and I also applaud those who have drawn strict boundaries. At the end of the day, the perpetrators are the ones who will have to live with the fact they chose to commit these acts and ruin fandom entirely for someone.

I don't care if it was all orchestrated by some mastermind lone wolf evil caricature of a Destiel shipper, or a select few wannabe Legion of Doom motherfuckers, your decisions are your own. Your choices were made, and when a friend told you that so and so was mean/bad/wrong, you attacked without a second thought, and why? Up until this past week, you were reaping the benefits of your elite status and living your best lives, enjoying your fandom experience. Maybe you felt safe and content with your ingroup, maybe you didn’t, but you were probably enjoying yourself. Now, how would you feel if someone did to you what you have documentedly done to others? Chased you off of social media, doxxed you, harassed you, made you feel unsafe when you unlock your phone? I won’t deny, to some extent, some of you probably have had tastes of those attacks from outsiders, but never from within, because you had the protection of your BNF cohorts. And luckily, for you, the majority of us don’t believe in bullying, so you’re never going to have to truly find out what that feels like, but I hope you think about it.

You know what happened when someone was mean to one of my friends? I stood up for said friend, while remaining calm and collected, then proceeded to block and be done with it. I didn’t reply or engage when their response turned vicious. The entire exchange was out in the open, on a public thread, and name-calling and gaslighting only ever came from one side, and it wasn't mine. I get the urge to be protective, I do, but did it just not ever occur that you can be protective of people you care about without resorting to bullying tactics? And if you have to commit these acts for fear you'll lose your fame, your place in a server, your "friend", then you've proven you don't care about people outside of what they can do for you.

A demon some of these perpetrators will need to exorcise if they truly want to learn and grow from this.

Anyway, I don't understand how or why that sickness of bullying to such a horrific extent thrived for so long in this fandom. And continues to thrive in other pockets of the fandom. Why? Why the fuck are so many adults in this fandom such childish bullies? And it's not even like we can blame it on the younger, newer fans, because they’re the ones that end up being the victim half the time from the looks of things. A bunch of quarter-life approaching middle-age folx caused this and proved that a little bit of fame in the wrong hands turns people into monsters.

For the perpetrators, I hope no one does to you what you have done to countless people in this fandom. And even more, I hope no one does to you what you did to your victims who left the fandom entirely. May you never understand that pain.

For all of their victims, I hope you find peace and I'm glad you came forward to put a stop to this madness. It was scary, and how many friends and followers the perpetrators have, this could have gone the other direction, and ended very badly. Thankfully it didn't, and hell, you got someone who never really participates or engages in fandom discourse to write a TLDR freakin’ Tumblr post about it. I am sorry for everything you experienced.

As for the rest of us? We’ve got a helluva lot of work ahead if we want to turn the Supernatural fandom into a true, safe fandom space. But I think this could be a good place to start.

#spnfandom #stop bullying #tldr #bullying in the spn fandom

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gaykarstaagforever · 4 months

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Another fun editorial from my "favorite" publication, Business Insider.

This was written by the 57 year old rich man who founded it and is currently the CEO. But notice how the choice of picture tries to trick you into thinking a hot younger woman wrote it.

Which is odd, because BI can, and does!, hire hot younger women to write crap like this, all the time. Traditionally targeting Millenials. But I guess our persistent refusal to get knocked up has finally driven BI off to go harass our younger siblings. And Old Henry just couldn't contain himself around all these new young empty wombs anymore.

I read it to see why exactly, on a planet with too many people and too little affordable houses, this rich white man is so upset that people under 40 aren't breeding like they used to. He doesn't give a good reason, just something about how "giving children life" is brave. Which it isn't, by any definition of the word.

What he does take pains to do is explain why all our reasons for refusing to breed are bullshit. Well, he doesn't say it so harshly. Because obviously he's figured out that Elon Musk ordering white people to provide babies for his new crazy experiments isn't a method that's working. So Henry soft-pedals it. He admits war and climate change and political chaos are real, but not THAT real (I have no idea; you figure it out). But even if they are, and I'm paraphrasing here, don't worry, some heretofore unknown wizard or Superman shall appear and fix everything. So no worries, ladies! Be filled with seed!

What Henry doesn't seem to understand is that climate change and general violent chaos may be two of the stated reasons people have for not having kids, but aren't the only ones, or even the major ones. Most people who aren't as mostly-gay and mostly-asexual as myself are under the constant pressures of horniness and family expectations to not let the coming doom of the world at-large change their stances on condom usage.

People avoid having kids because of a perceived lack of support for their personal child-rearing, be it financial or social. If they are having issues with long-term commitment or financial security, they aren't going to sign up for 20+ years of raising another human being. And because we aren't willful idiots, we know financial security is ALSO a big reason people have problems maintaining long-term relationships.

Henry, no one under 40 is going to have kids if they know they're going to have to find a new apartment or a new job, in a new place, every 3 to 6 years. That instability is what is frosting everyone's nethers. And that isn't a philosophical problem, that is a systemic capitalism problem.

That guys like Henry caused. Because Old Henry here had to pay $4 million to the US Government back in 2003 for tricking people into investing in shitty 1990s dot-coms he knew were about to fall apart. He is banned from trading securities and working in the financial services industry anymore because of this.

People don't have babies on a roller-coaster, Henry. And you help build that roller-coaster. They aren't breeding because of YOU, you idiot. So you're hardly in a position to be lecturing anyone about how they aren't doing enough bareback.

...Also, back to the question of why old rich men like Henry Blodget are so worried about "population decline," a thing that isn't a thing. Sans him actually giving the game away, I'm free to speculate, and I will. This is probably that thing where he's worried about America's garbage social security system getting even more pointless without enough young people to steal from to pay the bills. Which is, AGAIN, only a problem because guys like Henry engineered both it and the economy in such ways that it is. They made a joke of a system that runs on bad stupid rules and now blame us for not following those rules. And one of those rules is "you (white people) all need to breed like rabbits," because every system these people make, including their religions, has that same weird rule.

Because these are weird, bad people. Who do financial crimes.

And that's why we don't listen to them.

#business insider #population decline #is not a thing #weird rich people #capitalism

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eldritchmochi · 7 months

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could you wax poetic about how you picture the dressing style of the wizards in your modern fic?

oh beck never a sweeter question has been asked of me

starting with the camming au because this is gonna get long with coping skills stuff. while there is some overlap, especially in caleb, i/we came at clothing from different places for both these aus so!

rts!essek: his main premise was "trendsetter" ala wisdom kaye in that he has a LOT of designer pieces and knows how to wear them in eyecatching ways. in rhosohna its very much a form of armor for him, fitting in and hiding by standing out. he tones it down in rexxentrum a fair bit to not stand out TOO MUCH or in the wrong way. he's very much the sort to shop based off name--he has designers he trusts with his life--but he's also a bit more of a quality over quantity type. he likes things he can repurpose into other looks with ease a lot too and he is VERY ingrained in what he deems acceptable for his wardrobe: colors, textures, patterns, etc. this is part of why The Robe hits him so hard. it's just to the left of something he'd choose for himself, right on paper in several ways while still being so very uniquely caleb that he has to cry

funfact, esseks big asymmetrical coat he wears in the hello daddy scene is based off one my buddy owned that had NO SHOULDERS so you just... looked like uncle fester, but for some reason it went so hard

rts!caleb: very much a guys guy kinda guy. he's dressed, his clothes are generally clean and in good repair, and they fit him well enough to the average eye. he'd like to do "better" but he lacks knowledge and resources especially, but he knows enough that he'll opt for one pair of vintage jeans over two pairs of modern jeans for the same price. tends to shop by fabric type, favoring natural fibers over synthetic (plastic). enjoys wearing clothes gifted to him by friends, especially when visiting that friend, to show that he cares. diligently hangs his most of his clothes to air dry, routinely conditions all his leather items. if he is going to pay too much money for clothing he's going to ensure things last as long as feasibly possible

with coping skills tho, there are several things that intertwine within their presentation, so, sum facts first

cs!essek: "dark academia" but he would never in his life call it that. shopping is his comfort from the horrors of his chronic pain. thusly he buys entirely too much clothing. gets basically everything tailored (to make it comfier). doesn't actually think too much about like material type or how quality an item is (beyond it not being absolute garbage), but focuses more on aesthetic over all else. has several piercings but wears very basic steel jewelry in all of them 98% of the time

cs!caleb: does in fact have more than one pair of jeans, he just only brought one pair of jeans to rhosohna. he in fact only brought a pretty small percentage of his clothes to rhosohna (he has probably two fairly big tubs in storage, including nicer clothing that isn't *interview* clothing). generally buys his shirts a smidge too big. often unconsciously buys clothing that reminds him of his crush/datemate/playpartner for himself as a lil hug

and now!!! the PARALLELLS

they both take meticulous care of their physical flesh, but for different reasons. caleb is VERY hairy compared to drow, pubs included, so essek doesn't make the connection but caleb does manscape, and does a lot of regular upkeep for his beard plus a lot of intentional care with his hair (it does have a style it's just not all blunt at the bottom the way most xhorhassian's keep theirs, thank u essek). caleb finds a lot of comfort in maintaining his body because its his and its the only one he gets. essek otoh resents his duty towards his body. he does it all, but he cuts corners as much as he can; he has short hair so upkeep isn't as draining even if it is scandalous; he doesn't paint his nails except for special occasions and only puts in bare minimum to keep them filed and tidy; he does skin care purely because he could not bear the indignity of others perceiving him as anything less than perfect but he's sloppy about it. he takes his pills, he eats the bare minimum, he moves the bare minimum, he socializes the bare minimum, and he is very content being mad at his flesh for betraying him, thank you

they both heavily curate their appearances to fit in with what is expected of them. with essek its the blouses and pressed trousers to appear respectable and cultured, with all the bits and bobs and layers that go with, and with caleb its the worn in jeans and flannels country boy look. essek dresses the way he does so he doesnt have to fight (his mother mostly) and so other people don't talk down to him in ways they shouldnt. caleb dresses the way he does because a) its comfortable and easy to travel with but b) it makes him unassuming so he is so much more able to observe

and also lastly, they obviously both really really like the kink aspects of clothing. they really get off on the possessives of wearing the others clothes or seeing the other wear theirs, they both really get off on the routine and anticipation of getting undressed (or the animal passion of just tugging pants down enough to get ur dick out before going at it) as well as the tease of redressing. ch 32 and 33 with all the gala clothe stuff is going to be SO HORNY (i'm sorry verin)

also fun fact, theyre within a size of each other *around* but caleb is in the next bracket up for length so i definitely considered having essek shove caleb into his clothes to go home in

#mochi rambles #ohbeckoh #mochi presents coping skills #mochi presents reaching the starlight #mochi fic #mochi asks #yes i have an entire headcannon on how modern industrilaized exandrian fashion sizing works #you dont????? weirdo

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greenerteacups · 11 months

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How does Wizarding economy world according to you? How are there even poor wizards?

GREAT QUESTION

The answer is basically "if you look past the aesthetics, the Wizarding World is a jerry-rigged preindustrial economy with a hat on." No electronics, nothing more advanced than cars, i.e. no power grids, basically nothing more advanced than electronic lights (and even those might be magic, who knows). By all appearances, we don't have factories, i.e. no economies of scale, which means every industry is artisan or craft — there are zero wizards or witches we hear about working factory/line jobs, which makes sense, right? You can use a duplicating spell to do the same thing. This explains why there aren't wizard cities: you need a bunch of people doing pretty menial shit, 24/7, constantly, in order to generate the kind of labor that builds a city. I'm talking plumbing, garbage collection, contract work, laying asphalt, etc. Who's gonna do that? Sure, most wizards could do those jobs with magic. But will they? For free? Or will they go do something that you can charge more for, like wandcraft, or potion-making?

So this is the thing. Industries being artisan means stuff takes talent to do, and artists are gonna be way more protective of their intellectual property/style, so it's going to be more expensive. Plus, it's gonna be harder to break in — this is how you get guild systems, private apprenticeships, family businesses, etc. Yeah, for most things, you can always just make/do it yourself — this is how a lot of the lower and middle classes actually lived, prior to the Industrial Revolution — but for everything, will you? And how nice will it be? Yeah, you can use a spell to make a dress, but are you going to remember where the stitches go? How are you gonna use magic to make a pot roast if you don't know how much stock to put in? There's still a ton of trade knowledge that goes into making something with magic, because magic as we see it at Hogwarts is very generic (i.e. stuff like "lift" and "mend", not "spell of Make A Dress" or "spell of Cook Dinner.") Which explains how the Wizarding economy is (a) capitalist and (b) still a scarcity economy — magic can make most things, but not necessarily any better than a muggle could. It's just a different energy source; skill and labor remain necessary.

Unfortunately, because of the way that guilds form, and the absence of any education post-Hogwarts, low- and middle-income people end up involved in the same kinds of work that they have been for centuries: subsistence. Which is workable! As we see, Arthur Weasley has, like, a decent living. There's not always enough money for new books, but there's always enough food for seven children, and they have a relatively large house in the country. Because we don't see any trouble beyond that — no landlord comes knocking, no worries that the bank will foreclose the house, Arthur has enough money for a vanity project with the Ford Anglia — we can infer that magic greases the wheels, but a large part of their success is the availability of natural resources to make that magic work with. They have land for pigs; they have a garden; they have wild game, and fish, and so forth (though it's also notable that we always see the Weasleys in summer, the season of plenty, and not winter). Notably, we don't see the urban poor in Harry Potter, and there's two possible reasons for that: first, that wizards just don't have cities like muggles do, probably because (1) see above, they haven't industrialized to the point where it's possible; and (2) instead live in muggle cities, where using magic can let you get by pretty easily, if you don't mind hiding your identity.

And then you have this concentrated upper class of wealthy elites whose ownership of land and stock. They're maybe the easiest group to explain; at pretty much every point in history, large land holdings generate insane amounts of wealth. Now, the wizarding world has stuff you can do to space that lets you hide large volumes of area in relatively small parcels of land (like the tents, or Hermione's bag). Two caveats: (1) all of those examples have been relatively small, suggesting that there's some sort of theoretical limit, because otherwise, why not make yourself a castle in a handbag? and (2) because that's not (technically?) a taxable land holding, it's not going to generate income in the same way a rentable parcel of farmland will. Not to mention what you can skim from investments or trusts. Most aristocrats have old, old fortunes, and a 1% divestment of their trust would be enough for most of us to live on.

At the end, we're looking at several major classes: the working-class, who deal with raw materials — farm, collect ingredients, mine for coal, etc; the artisans, who practice a craft or trade; the merchants, who populate the markets; the working professionals, e.g. doctors and solicitors; and the elites, who generate income from their holdings.

There's another, embedded question here, which is: "why does it have to work like this?" And to that my answer is: it doesn't! I think that it probably shook out this way due to a combination of historical and contingent factors very similar to those that created modern capitalism in real Britain, in no small part because we know that the histories of wizard and muggle Britain were convergent until a relatively recent time (the classical period of witch hunts started in 1450). So there don't have to be poor wizards. I can think of ways that you can use magic to create a post-scarcity economy, where everyone has more or less the same access to resources. But this is the world that the books show us, more or less.

#at least this is how i've chosen to read it #this may be and in fact probably is incomplete #economics is complicated and i am not a master #but i am interested in it and its historical component #like the invention of the joint stock company happens AFTER the statute of secrecy #for example #greenteacup asks

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ostermad-blog · 8 months

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📖, 💡?

Two excellent questions. We'll take 'em in order!

📖 My favorite class or playbook from a game.

It's funny, this question. I'm someone who prefers to run games rather than play in them, so I don't really spend a lot of time thinking about classes/playbooks unless I'm designing a game (my current project has had me doing a lot of reading over different playbooks for inspiration). So I'm going to cheat and give you two answers.

The first answer is the Ghelf from TheOriginalCockatrice's game Troupe. The Gelf is a preening pissant, someone petty and small and full of self-importance with a flair for the dramatic. They are hard and bitter but believe themselves to be loving and sweet. They are in so much agonizing denial that my heart hurts to think about it. I think TheOriginalCockatrice did a phenomenal job expressing the ghelf's wretchedness, their vulnerability, and their allure.

The real answer is the one I am embarrassed about, the one I knew was my answer as soon as I read the question, the one class that has stuck with me since I read it as a middle schooler in the Complete Warrior book for dnd 3.5. I feel like an indie ttrpg poser that my favorite class is one from dnd, but let me talk to you about the Warshaper and maybe you'll see why it has been in my bones since I was 13.

The Warshaper is a prestige class, something that doesn't exist in dnd 5e (thank goodness). Prestige classes had to be built into, you had to multiclass in just the right way, do the right in-game things to qualify, take the right character customization options. And some of them were utter garbage and some of them were incredibly powerful. Like many things in 3.x, there was a kernel of a good idea somewhere in there, but the implementation was horrible.

The Warshaper's most onerous requirement was that you had to be able to change your shape, to transform from one body to another. A wizard's polymorph would do, as would a druid's wildshape. As would being a werecreature, as well. And the central premise of the Warshaper class was: what if you could change your body better? Now, this was dnd, so the implementation was all about combat - you can grow more natural weapons, they do more damage, you can rearrange your organs and muscles to make you immune to critical hits, your limbs can extend up to 10ft away from you. But the idea behind the class was immediately compelling, and as a deeply, deeply closeted trans teenager, as soon as I read this class I knew I wanted to be it, in a powerful and personal way. I also, being a deeply, deeply closeted trans teenager, never attempted to build a character that could take the class. I thought about dnd a lot more than I played it, and I made dozens of characters. And I was never brave enough to make someone who could transcend their body-of-birth and take this class, at least not until many years later, in college, when I played my first female character. Playing her was probably the closest I came to realizing I was trans until my egg actually did crack.

So, yeah, the answer I like to that question is the Ghelf. My real answer is the Warshaper.

💡 A game that inspired my own design or creative practice

Here I have many equally true answers. Honorable mention to dnd 3.5 for being so poorly designed that I had to start designing for it to patch up the gaps and salvage something good from it.

The actual answer, well, one of them, is Kazumi Chin's Rogue 2e, which is a love letter to the OSR and storygame ttrpg genres. Rogue 2e is an elegant game. It uses as few rules and mechanics as possible to communicate worlds of potential. Chin's game really opened my eyes to indie ttrpgs more broadly and proved that the adventuring ttrpg experiences I had grown up on could be built in so many more ways than I had thought possible.

Another answer, and the last I'll give for now, is Alexis Smolensk's D&D. Smolensk is a phenomenal writer and his blog (tao-dnd.blogspot.com) is an invaluable resource to anyone looking to run, play in, or design adventure ttrpgs. He has been building his world and expanding his rules for decades with the care and artistry of an expert craftsman. He showed me what adventure games could be, that the skills involved in running them could be deeper than I had ever imagined. I will spend the rest of my life trying to meet his skill level, and I hope that one day people playing in my setting can have half the fun I had playing in his.

#Ttrpg #Indie ttrpg #Ttrpg questions #Dnd #D&D #Tao of Dnd #Troupe ttrpg #Ttrpg design #osr #Rogue 2e

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acecasinova · 3 months

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Hi there!! :D fear, secret and wound for the ask meme for Lazarus + another OC who you want to talk about? :D

My scrungy boy!!! I'll also answer some for Fion, another scrungy boy currently in my head lol~

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

Lazarus: His greatest fear is being weak and powerless- feeling small and ineffectual (Like when Strahd forced him to turn into a newborn kitten, or when he couldn't hurt Kindness at all, even when he knew he landed a blow). It freaks him the F-CK out when it happens but his base instinct is always survival, so he'll bend to whatever force seems to be on top. (It's very fun when the loud, abrasive, and aggressive guy goes still and quiet~ but laying low and NOT fighting back when the odds are garbage have gotten him a lot farther than insulting someone much stronger to their face) ....And on that note it's not THAT hard to see when he's afraid- he's a terrible liar and you can definitely see the deference in his posture.

Fion: His biggest fear is rejection! Fion wants to please and be accepted sooooo so bad and he definitely ends up fawning when faced with people who are mad at him. He'll test the waters a little, but if he gets pushback, he'll retreat and agree and probably walk on eggshells around that person for a while. He doesn't openly talk about it, but it's behavioral so it's not impossible to pick up on.

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

Lazarus: Ohhhhhh he does NOT want people to find out the extent of what Strahd did to him before leaving him out for the party to find. It wasn't even anything physical, but he's still got the looming threat to the orphanage if anyone gets it out of him. (I'll say a lil more under a readmore so that it doesn't cut off the next one but people in the game don't read it if they're not butts)

Fion: HMMM well his biggest current secret that he'd die if people found out about is very topical to where they are right now story-wise.... Some of the group have found out he uses taboo magics, but no one knows he's a bit of a serial killer. Not that he'd phrase it like that- he goes after people who've been cruel to changelings and other species that are looked down on, and got.... maybe a little idea that the church and wizards might fall under fair game now too...

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced? Lazarus: He usually grits his teeth and deals with it- Laz is kinda just an overgrown feral cat, if a cat could turn into vermin or a red wolf lmao~ He'll usually sulk a little, maybe b-tch about it if the party is in a dungeon and he wants to bite somebody but they haven't fought anything alive in a while, but he tends to try and hide emotional or mental wounds and just not talk about them at all ever. (Which has just resulted in Laz being VERY emotionally stunted and bad at verbalizing things) Worst physical wound was probably when he tried to grab a little statuette for our party wizard, and whoops! Uh oh! Turns out evil and/or undead things can't touch it and it nuked him with radiant damage that ALMOST killed him on the spot, but it was just shy of twice his HP total, so he was only knocked out and fried his left arm to a crisp. The mental/emotional wounds really take the cake, though- the three days he spent arrested and chained up in that too-bright room with Kindness coming in just to repeatedly near-crush his windpipe and rip his fear of her wide open again, FOLLOWED by the humiliation of the carriage ride with her to Castle Ravenloft while she just raked what remained of his self worth over the coals was definitely a doozie. He REALLY hasn't recovered from that one yet but he also haven't tALKED about it to anyone because he's a prideful piece of sh-t who can't articulate his feelings.

Fion: His magical training really just put him through the wringer,,,, His mentor believed in "show don't tell" so he has first hand experience with all the spells he knows, like having maggots summoned in his stomach to eat their way out, or having his autonomy taken away. He's pretty accustomed to taking blow after blow, and usually takes them without complaint. His worst wound was probably when he was attacked while selling healing salves. Someone tried to rob him and ended up cutting him up. He lost his left eye in the attack and the shock of it nearly killed him, but he managed to stabilize himself after getting away.

So Laz's secret.....

He's a high enough leveled monk by 5e standards to be able to use "Stillness of Mind" and shake charms and such, and Strahd has underestimated him a few times before after dismissing him as a spawn. BUT Strahd found out Lazarus ISN'T a spawn, and is actually a full vampire in his own right, but he's a weird type that feeds on OTHER vampires and.... Strahd wants that under his thumb.

So after Laz got arrested (Long story of shenanigans but he f-cked up and his prey drive kicked in on a guard while reps from all three towns AND an entourage from Ravenloft were in town) and mentally beat to all sh-t by Kindness, Strahd showed up and offered him a "deal".

Lazarus could accept the charm Strahd was going to place on him. Or, he could try to resist it (historically something Laz has NEVER done successfully) and Strahd would go burn the Valaki orphanage to the ground and kill everyone here. That's Dissy's orphanage. That's where HE 'grew' up. So obviously he accepted the charm and now Strahd has a sleeper agent in the party. He STILL DOES. Lazarus cannot attack any sentient creature FIRST- they must attack him first. If no one has, he has to simply defend himself, but he's gotten to a point where he can assist others or use things like the "Cause Fear" effect on his mace. He can't let anyone try to help get rid of the charm or try to remove it himself. He also is forbidden from SPEAKING about the charm- he can't tell anyone why he can't attack or what Strahd did, and he can't tell them what might happen if he or someone else tries to remove the charm. (What might happen is Strahd burning the orphanage) ...And last but oh so certainly not least: He MUST obey if Strahd gives him a command with the trigger "would you kindly". (He hasn't tested if someone ELSE who isn't Strahd can also force him to do things with that phrase, but it's bad enough that Strahd can, and it isn't like Charm Person where it feels like they're your friend. Laz KNOWS what's happening but he can't do anything to stop himself from obeying and that, quite frankly, is the worst part for him)

#oc ask game #Lazarus #Fion #sleepyforestbeast

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slutforstabbings-archive · 1 year

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now i’m super curious, what’s ur hcs for alt!corey?

Alt!Corey Cunningham HC's

prompted by the conversation started here. Sorry this took so long!

tagging @rebel-blue @nachtmahr666 @vanellygal I never know who all to tag so if you want me to tag you specifically every time, please lmk!

Music:

Corey grew up listening to the radio and whatever music Joan put on. His mom is probably in her early 50’s in the movie, and she seems like one of those people who is terrible but likes and uses sweet nice wholesome things to hide behind, so she probably only listened to squeaky clean and boring pop music, and I think that would start Corey on a path towards heavy music, distorted music, music with dark themes, anything other than what Joan liked. He finds a lot of pop music to be insincere and he hates that.

WURG seems like an oddball station from what we hear of it in the movie and what it’s mentioned as playing in the book, so Corey definitely likes some punk and metal and garage just from the radio. But he doesn’t really know that’s what it is, genres and subcultures are kind of lost on him. And he doesn’t really realize he only knows music that’s 35-60 years old.

Personally as someone who grew up listening to a lot of oldies radio specifically, I know they’re really bad about identifying old songs cause they think you know the artist and title already. So I’m gonna go ahead and say for a lot of his life Corey doesn’t know the name or artist of most of the songs he likes, and he probably doesn’t realize he likes multiple songs from the same artist, so he doesn't have a favorite band. He has to learn to dig into a catalog and listen to full albums as an adult because that was never something he was introduced to as a child.

His mom obviously put heavy parental controls on his computer time, looked through his browser history, etc so I don’t think he was really able to explore his music taste probably until he got a smart phone and more privacy in his internet usage, which wouldn’t have been until he was an adult. I think Joan would have wanted him to have a phone so she could call him but would’ve kept him with a non-smart phone with no data until it basically wasn’t an option anymore, so he got his first smart phone when he was probably like 17-19, and that’s when his music exploration could really begin.

Even pre-accident Corey is sad and lonely and angry so he’s drawn to those lyrical themes. He has very angsty taste. But he also likes interesting time signatures and weird textures. He's a math and science guy and he thinks it's really cool when musicians approach their craft in a mathematical or experimental way. Post- Michael I think Corey recedes into the heaviest and most anguished parts of his music taste. Songs that used to make him cry, songs that pump him up, songs that he used to imagine were written for people much more badass than him, whatever that might be. Devastating vocal delivery, heart wrenching lyrics, chugging guitars, all three if he can get them.

BAND LIST (trying to go with the most popular examples so you can get the gist of the aesthetic I’m picturing lol):

From the Radio - Rolling Stones, Doors, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Kinks, The Clash, Talking Heads, all the obvious legacy early metal and punk bands.

Pre-Accident - American Football, Sunny Day Real Estate, Hum, Modest Mouse, Smashing Pumpkins, Descendents, Brand New, New Order, Mazzy Star, The Smiths, Hella

Post-Accident, Pre-Michael - Grunge big 4, but his favorite is Pearl Jam, Pixies, Melvins, Tool, Joy Division, Deftones, Sonic Youth, I Hate Sex, Garbage, Depeche Mode, Nine Inch Nails

Post- Michael - Electric Wizard, Windhand, clipping., Lingua Ignota, Full of Hell

Fashion:

I see a lot of different ages thrown around for how long Corey's mom dressed him, but novelization canon is he started dressing himself at 13. I think it's definitely still the case that his mom buys and picks out most of his clothes for a long time, but I think he slowly wears her down on letting him pick things until his wardrobe is mostly his choices filtered through her. But because of that filter it's still never quite him.

When the other kids started getting into subcultures, Corey watched with envy. He didn't have a particular favorite style, and he wouldn't have known what to call it if he did, he just liked the idea that you could say something to the world with your clothes, and draw people who agreed with you to you and push people who didn't away. The idea that you could form a community around how you dress. All he wants is community.

Corey's never really considered tattoos or piercings because he knows his mother would absolutely lose her mind if he "damaged" himself that way. The only thing he's thought of is that his dad had a tattoo of a duck, so maybe he could get a tattoo of a duck in the same place. I think that if Corey was more interested in tattoos than that , pre-accident he would be a black linework only kind of guy, he wants to be an engineer, he likes the kind of sparse, design-y, almost technical drawing aspect of plain linework tattoos. Post-accident, pre-Michael, he' definitely an American Traditional/Neo-Trad guy. It's straight forward, it's classic, it's low-key. Post-Michael Corey is the kind of guy who gets big blackout stripes or brush strokes for the experience. Because blackouts hurt and because they make people, even other tattooed people, say why the fuck would you get that? Post-Michael Corey would also so get a prince albert sorry.

I can't see him wearing make up, even just eyeliner. Seems too pretty for him I guess, like he's an aesthetically simple guy in a lot of ways, and presents in such a casual masculine way, it just doesn't seem like him. But I can see him painting his nails black every once in a while. Not any other colors but black for sure.

#corey cunningham #halloween ends #corey cunningham headcanons #thoughts #mine #ask

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apothecarywormcrud · 4 months

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🥀 and 💭?

🥀 Talk about some of your fictional crushes and why they aren’t your F/O!

p much all of these the reason is either there's not enough story for me to work with, said story is incomplete, or i just don't think about them very often. sometimes its also a vibes thing. idfk.

rammattra (overwatch) - big sexy robot! phenomenal fucking design! animations designed to Get My Ass! however, overwatch lore is garbage so i cannot be assed! this also applies to moira. i am not immune to evil butch scientist but bro there is nothing there. im stealing her and filling her with bloodworms. shes my oc now. billy (backlash) - hi. read backlash. look its right here go go go go. i love billy so fucking much she's charming she's smart she's funny she builds robots and loves anime and she can see ghosts and shuffle souls around into different bodies! i get heart palpitations when she smiles. trans lesbian queen of my heart. fucking look at her.

i do actually have a backlash insert but they're busy trying to kiss the world's most garbage man. they can probably do better. honestly i have crushes on most of the women in this comic. hot ghost grandma pls dm me. lady sorcia (thieves and kings) - ok this ones. kind of obscure. rlly good comic tho you should also read thieves and kings. she's a sorceress who gets a good chunk of her power from a magical cloak and swords that are basically extensions of a dark force that really, REALLY doesn't want her gain indipendence. sometimes she does murders about it. i was entranced by her as a kid (for reasons that would become obvious to me later) and i still think she's really cool and tbh maybe i SHOULD make myself an insert for thieves and kings. do i not deserve a funny little wizard. glados (portal) - one time i played a VR game where you try to fix a robot and then when you fail she gets up real close in your face and berates you and chucks you into a pit of lava or whatever. fundamentally altered my brain chemistry in. a way. makoto nanya (blazblue) - super buff squirrel girl fights evil with the power of friendship and incredible violence! shes cute shes smart she's ride-or-die for the people she cares about and i would let her princess carry me into the sunset. unfortunately i cant reciprocate because my arms are limp spaghetti noodles but i can dream.

💭 What’s your favorite uncommon headcanon about your F/O?

i saw a comic where law tattooed his back by temporarily removing his own skin w/ Room and just went at that shit at his desk w/ a tattoo gun and it lives rent-free in my brain. that shit fucking rules. also i think he's autistic and on the aroace spectrum. idk how uncommon these are bc i don't interact with fandom much but anyways hes JUST like me frfr.

#this turned out longer than i thought itd be. lots of guys bouncing around in there. oh well.#i got to plug my favorite comics so thats all that really matters tbh #ass memes #yellin

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ae-neon · 1 year

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What's your favorite book?

In the ACOTAR series? None. They're all mostly bad in their own way. But probably TAR?

the best romance

peak Feyre

Moment Nesta became the best character by having the only natural character reveal/plot twist

peak Lucien

Amarantha has a better villain motivation (Clythia n Jurian) than KoH

best Fae (Alis, the bogge, the Attor, the winged summer Fae, the puca, the naga etc)

Everyone was at max potential

the cast chemistry was good cause Alis and Lucien weren't up Feyre's ass the second they met her even tho they knew or hoped she would end up with Tam, it built up naturally and individually

Favourite books in general? Idk but books I look back and remember enjoying:

Honourable mention is The Story of Old by Chelsea Starling, which I recently read for review. You can find my review on Goodreads

Patrick Ness' The Knife of Never Letting Go (series)

I haven't reread it since I was a kid so I can't give a current, more updated review but it's about a rural planet colony where a virus killed all the women and made everyone's (including animals) thoughts audible and visible to one another, called Noise. The MC is Todd - the last boy born in the colony who's set to become a man around his 13th or 14th birthday when he discovers an impossible spot of silence: a girl.

(now being an adult, that sounds terrifying for that little girl but fortunately Patrick Ness doesn't take it down that route - the story is more of an action adventure)

It's written from the perspective of a child but it's not exactly a children's story, especially later books which tackle things like sexism and even genocide.

Ambrose Parry's The Way of All Flesh

I read about 2 years ago and really enjoyed.

It's historical fiction set in Edinburgh in 1847 at the dawn of modern medicine particularly around gynecology and anesthesia. With elements of a murder mystery as young women keep being found dead all around the city.

It follows Will, a poor young apprentice doctor to Dr Simpson, and Dr Simpson's housemaid, Sarah, whose gender limits her station despite how clever she is.

Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson

Unfortunately I'm not much of a fan of Sanderson after trying to read the Way of Kings but before that I read Warbreaker and I enjoyed it - though apparently most of his fans don't

The story follows two sisters, Vivenna - the oldest, set to inherit her kingdom - and Siri - sent to marry the terrifying God King of their enemy kingdom. Vivenna, usually so obidient, sets off to save her wild little sister.

The story also follows Lightsong, a reincarnated God bored with life and Vasher, a hobo Dilf wizard with a talking murderous sword.

The magic system is called Breath and is really interesting. Each human is born with one but you can give yours away or get more from others and the more you have the more you can do.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (book 1)

I'm a little hesitant to put this because I never like recommending horror or generally disturbing content even if I love consuming it - plus I don't know if I really liked the book even though I have reread it. I like the concepts.

The book follows a girl named Alex Stern who is a high school drop out but gets accepted into Yale to be part of a secret society centred around magic.

Ghosts in this world are called Grays and are generally harmless and invisible to most people even those who practice magic but Alex can not only see them but touch them. Unfortunately that means they can touch her too - something that has made her life very difficult.

We follow her through her 1st and 2nd semester as individual timelines to figure out what happened between her coming to the school and her mentor going missing.

I will say the book has major flaws in character development and use outside of the main 1 or 2. The villain reveal at the end was absolute garbage that has maybe the worst monologuing since Alis in acotar.

Trigger Warnings for the book should include gore, racism, rape - including gang rape and child rape, drug use, murder and someone being forced to eat human feces

#anon asks

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beefgnawpolis · 9 months

Text

I am now the proud owner of a Retroid Pocket 3 Plus (transparent blue) and after a week of playing this thing pretty much nonstop, here are my impressions.

[tl;dr: kind of a grind to set up, but works pretty great once you do!]

If you decide to get yourself one of these devices, I cannot recommend Retro Game Corps' starter guides highly enough. Here's one specific to the Retroid Pocket 2+/3/3+/Flip. Here's one that goes into more detail on RetroArch. And just for giggles, here's a general Android emulation starter guide. Oh, and you might be cool with Retroid's frontend but you'll probably like Daijisho a lot more, so here's a guide for that (sadly only in video form).

Initial setup and copying of ROMs and whatnot was a slog. Mostly because pretty much all the emulators on my PC work fine with ROMs in unzipped .zip files while (according to the wiki and I'm going to cry if I spent all that time unzipping .zips for nothing) most of the RetroArch cores other than MAME want the ROMs unzipped and hand-fed to them. Also, you'll probably need to reconfigure some controls and other settings. HOWEVER! Once you've got all your shit where it needs to go, and once you've got all your emulators set up and Daijisho in and pointed to all the right paths, that's the hard part done and over with. From there on out It Just Works. You can even set Daijisho such that you never even have to see the Android behind the curtain. Battery life is pretty decent. It feels fairly comfortable in my tiny hands, I wish there were grippy-bumps or whatnot on the back but now apparently Retroid is making a grippy case add-on? The buttons feel good, though apparently future stick drift is a possibility. One that can be fixed for about $25 with a pair of Gulikit hall sensor sticks, so I'm not too worried about that right now. The screen is nice and bright and apparently can be software-tweaked to be better but I didn't bother, this is fine. Audio is... okay but that's why God made earbuds and whatnot. Also, one caveat: playing heftier stuff on this system will make it hot. Never alarmingly "oh shit turn it off now" hot and it barely gets lukewarm on older-system stuff, but it's definitely noticeable with PS2 and graphics-heavy games like NieR: Reincarnation.

Now, as for what it can play:

The RP3+ can, in my personal experience so far, reliably play pretty much everything up to PS1/PSP/Sega Saturn tier with no or minimal tweaking, with a couple of exceptions (I had to twiddle some settings for N64 and MAME, and Duckstation and AetherSX2 have to be hand-fed a BIOS in initial setup).

My current values of "everything" are:

Atari 2600

Game Boy

GBC

GBA

Arcade (MAME)

NES

SNES

N64 (mixed results; Mario Kart runs like a champ but Pokemon Snap crashes)

Genesis

Saturn

PS1

PSP

As for systems beyond: I've had mixed results that skew "definitely playable" with PS2 and had to change some stuff in the AetherSX2 setup wizard to get that. I haven't played a lot of PS2 stuff on it yet but Final Fantasy XII seems to run pretty great so far. Fatal Frame runs pretty well (though apparently there's something I need to tweak in the per-game settings to make anomalies and whatnot show up). Magic Pengel, of all things, ran like hot garbage but that was before I RTFM and reran the setup wizard with changes so it might do better now. Sadly my PC's DVD drive has shat the bed so I can't rip anything else until the replacement comes in. There's a community spreadsheet linked in the RP3 setup guide up there that will tell you what per-game tweaks you might need to make.

I haven't tried Gamecube or Dreamcast yet, but word is it's the same deal as PS2. It can run DS/3DS/Wii emulators, but honestly I can't stomach the idea of playing DS/3DS on a single screen (and besides that is what I have a hacked 3DS for but never mind that) and the WiiWare I've tried runs okay but Wii with touchscreen-instead-of-wiimote just feels weird (and that is what I have a hacked Wii for but never mind that)

And of course, being an Android device, it can of course run Android games. NieR: Reincarnation ran like refried ass on my phone, but it runs great on the RP3+. It does have micro HDMI out, and you can pair it with an Android-compatible controller, though I haven't tried that yet. And of course you can install your streaming apps of choice on it if you want.

Anyway, it's definitely a lot of handheld for not a whole lot of money and I'm digging it!

#retro gaming #retroid pocket

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petalpierrot · 1 year

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Chronicling my CoS Adventures as always

So after we got The Tome of Strahd, Eidys got invested in reading that hot garbage. She reads it a little bit at every rest stop before her trance.

We are returning to the Wizard of Wines. (My Ranger stayed there one night because a raven told him it was a safe place) he feels really awkward coming back, even though the Martikovs think of him as a friend. He feels like he is overstaying his welcome (please give this sad elf man some anxiety medication)

Ireena is being cute and cooing at some ravens. She can do no wrong. She is so cute

Once they arrive on location they discuss how to approach this whole situation. They are aware that an item of power is located there, but the Ranger tells the party that the reading he got was more like riddles. So he is unsure what to look for, though he also says to start by asking if the family experienced some trouble/conflict. The party seems to agree that's a good way to go about things.

Eidys decides to take the lead and let the more intimidating elven men stay hidden for now ( 6'0 drow (Ranger) and 6'1 Shadar-kai (cleric)). She goes to speak to the young boys gathering grapes outside and takes Ireena and the party druid with her. She manages to convince the older boy to get his parents. The older boy stays speaking to the women but tells his younger siblings to get their parents.

The younger boys get their mother and Eidys calls over her male party members, telling the teenager that "the boys are a bit shy" and that they are actually very sweet, but they both know how intimidating they can come off to others.

The boy's mother recognizes the ranger and treats him warmly. When he asks her if there has been trouble around, she tells her children to go inside and confides in him that she's seen some Scarecrows and Druids lurking about and would like the party to investigate the area. She is worried that they are looking for something.

The ranger feels *responsible* so he immediately begins to look for anything (with detect magic). He manages to find the two Emeralds and tells the Martikovs to hide them for the time being. They all figure out that if the party can use certain magic to find their livelihood, so can said druids.

with detect magic he also manages to find The Holy Symbol of Ravenkind. He asks if it is also an item that needs to be hidden, and also makes sure to tell the Martikovs that he is not here to rob anyone of their protection. The Martikovs let him know that they were hiding this particular item from the agents of Strahd and that the party is free to take it as they are working against the vampire.

ranger takes the item outside, where Eidys casts identity on it, and they find out its properties.

Cleric gets a vision from The Raven Queen. She shows him the previous owner of this amulet (Lugdana the paladin) and wants him to wield the item in her name to defeat Strahd. She also tells him that she is always with him, even if Strahd tries to keep her away from him (I cried)

The next session is probably going to involve fighting druids/twig blights

AFTER THAT HOWEVER! Eidys could possibly have a date with her not-husband (Rahadin. it is Rahadin) And also finally meet the Baron/his family.

#curse of strahd #I love my ranger but pls give this man anxiety medication he needs to stop feeling like he is not wanted anywhere #Veshen feels the warm fuzzies from raven mom and I am so happy for him #Honestly #I was hoping I would focus more on Veshen this past session but Dris' anxiety kicked in. At least they accomplished SO MUCH.#I don't have much to say about Eidys except she rolled 1 lightning damage two sessions ago and it sends me every time

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maniculum · 1 year

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The College of Grotesque Arts -- Week Four

After I finished writing the material for this week, I thought to myself, “I feel like I’m writing a lot. Just how long is this?” So I checked the word count and this is over 5,000 words. That’s a whole damn college paper. I assign a 5,000-word essay each semester and my students get panicked looks in their eyes because they’ve never written anything that long. And this isn’t even an outlier — Weeks One and Three were both longer. Am I going into too much detail on these rooms, or is this a normal amount of words?

Ahem. Anyway. Enough of me worrying.

Question: are those notes below the map itself actually any use? The ones that are a list of what appears in the actual entry? (I know that the original concept was probably that all the writing should fit in that space, but I also know myself, so I never actually expected to fit all of my excessive verbiage into that space.) Should I start leaving that part off? Anyone have thoughts? Also, I wrote those bits in pen this time so I could scan it. Do the scanned versions work better than the photographed versions? Practicality vs. aesthetic? Listeners, call in.

Content below the cut.

Room 1.22: f.23v

When the PCs open the door to this room, a rather damp and annoyed hawk flies out.

This room is entirely taken up by a 10ft-deep pool, inhabited by a number of bright red & pale green minnows. Some stairs lead down to the bottom of the pool.

Observant PCs will notice that one section of the pool wall does not have any algae growing on it. This section of the wall is an illusion — anything other than water or marine animals can pass through it as though it isn’t there. PCs walking (swimming) through it will find themselves completely dry on the other side as the water is filtered out when they pass through. They will also be rather thirsty: the filter isn’t supposed to affect bodily fluids, but the wizards never quite got it working right and it gives you a pronounced feeling of dry mouth. This same effect is active on the stairs, and likewise dries out anyone who walks up them.

(The hawk, if you were wondering, flew through from the other side and has been drying its wings on the stairs for a while now, unaware that this would have been done magically had it walked rather than flown. It’s confused and angry about ending up underwater unexpectedly.)

Room 1.23: f.24r

In a complete 180 from the last page, this one has so much crap on it that just begs to be included that I made the room huge in order to justify that. (It was randomly generated to be 20x30, but there was plenty of space just south of it to expand into.) This is another high-ceilinged room where the “floor” is actually just the top of a thick layer of soil. It contains seventeen pillars spaced through the room (shown on the map), but the pillars are entirely covered in thick, woody vines. The walls appear to have trelliswork built into them, and are likewise covered in vines. The ground cover is dominated by small, fragrant white flowers that detect as very slightly magical. A pond occupies the southwest, dominated by vines and reeds.

The most obvious feature of this room is a giant pit in the northeast corner. (Appendix A wanted there to be a pit trap in that east passage, but I’ve reinterpreted it.) This appears at first glance to be a garbage pit, but it seems that all the material in it is organic — in fact, it’s a crude composting operation that is the source for much of the soil all these plants down here are growing in. You might say it’s full of fertilizer, or you might say, “oh, that’s where all the animal waste is going.” It also has a bunch of those fragrant white flowers growing in it. And yes, the pit is blocking access to the east passage. Because I think it’d be funny if the PCs decided they had to go through it, that’s why. (If you want stats, it’s about a 20ft drop to the… contents, but you might want to assign damage as if it were only a 10ft drop, due to the padding. PCs will sink in it if they try to walk across it. The pit itself is roughly square, 20x20, and is 40ft deep in total — it’s about half full of stuff.)

Stationed near the pit (well, let’s say several feet away, not like, standing on the lip daring you to push it in) is Caretaker Two. (My attempts to minimize any humanoid/intelligent hybrid creatures running around and the obvious necessity to use that piece of art basically mean this has to be a Caretaker.) Caretaker Two is a long-limbed, long-torsoed, somewhat-humanoid construct about the size of a human child. It appears to be composed of green stone and wears a rather nice cloak and gown. The effect is spoiled (enhanced?) by its penchant for a quadrupedal gait — it can also climb on the walls and ceiling with no apparent effort. Caretaker Two collects organic waste from large sections of the dungeon to bring here, and is also tasked with repairing other Caretakers — it does the waste collection and/or compost distribution at night, but visits the locations of each other Caretaker in the dungeon at dawn after they’ve finished their “shift” and returned to their places. (After seeing that Pathfinder has make whole repair constructs, I figured there should probably be a Caretaker that uses that effect to fix other Caretakers.) Like Caretaker One, it is potentially dangerous, since it was designed to be able to deal with large and possibly hostile beaſts, but will cause no harm to the PCs unless provoked or obstructed in its duties. Stats:

Caretaker Two: CR 7, XP 3200; N Small Construct; Init +6; Senses Low-Light Vision, Darkvision 60ft, Blindsight 30ft; Perception +3

DEFENSE: AC 23, touch 17, flat-footed 17 (+1 size, +6 Dex, +6 natural); hp 60 (9d10+10) Saves Fort +3, Ref +9, Will +6; DR 5/-

OFFENSE: Speed 50 ft., climb 50 ft.; Melee 2 slams +13 (2d6+3); Spell-Like Abilities (CL 9; Save DC 13 + spell level) At Will: Cure Minor Wounds, Floating Disk, Make Whole; 3/day: Charm Monster, Deep Slumber, Telekinesis; 1/day: Hold Monster, Interposing Hand

STATISTICS: Str 16, Dex 22, Con 0, Int 0, Wis 16, Cha 1; Base Atk +9; CMB +11; CMD 27; Special Qualities Construct Traits, Blindsight 30ft

SPECIAL ABILITIES:

Spider Climb (Su): Caretaker Two can effortlessly climb sheer surfaces and ceilings as the spell spider climb, with the exception that it uses its normal climb speed to do so.

If provoked, Caretaker Two attempts to subdue with charm monster and deep slumber. If those don’t work, it will escalate to hold monster, then to protecting itself with interposing hand. If this has not neutralized the threat, Caretaker Two will attempt to subdue with nonlethal blows and/or additional attempts to use charm monster and deep slumber. If reduced below half hit points, it will escalate to lethal force, backed up by use of telekinesis. It may, at this point, attempt to push opponents into the garbage pit if they are in that area. Note that while Caretaker Two can use telekinesis 3/day, odds are good that it has already expended one use before the PCs arrive — it uses it to turn the compost.

The vines that cover the pillars and walls are inhabited by brightly colored red-and-blue songbirds.

The pond has a few black herons wading in it.

Wandering around this room are a handful of blostaethes. A blostaeth is a chicken-sized reptilian critter with fine scales and a few feathers (on its tail and at the back of its head) in red, blue, and green. They are equipped with: long, serpentine necks; short, feathery tails; a pair of three-toed legs; and no other appendages. A couple of them appear to be wearing small cloaks for some reason.

Yeah, we can’t just ignore that the artist gave those things clothing, can we? Raises some questions, so I better try and answer them. Okay, um, so blostaethes are actually very long-lived. Unlike most of the creatures in here, they’re not just descended from old experiments — the ones wearing cloaks are the originals. (The others are their young. They lay eggs rarely and mature very slowly.) Januaria’s heretofore-unmentioned apprentice, whom we’ll name Dervorguilla because that’s one of the more wizardy-sounding names on the list I’m using, took a liking to these particular beaſts and made them little cloaks because it’s cute. Caretaker Two was instructed to keep the little cloaks in good repair, untangle them when necessary, retrieve them if lost, and so forth. Absent instructions to the contrary, it’s still doing that. It’s also equipped with cure minor wounds to keep them in good health, which is how these creatures have survived for centuries without incident. That’s all a bit whimsical, but the artist forced my hand by giving these creatures accessories.

Anyway, the blostaeth is a friendly and docile creature. (The PC’s can’t take one; the Caretaker will stop them.) Its only unusual characteristic beyond its appearance and lifespan is a sort of breath weapon — once per day, it can breathe out a spray of seeds. These are the seeds of those fragrant white flowers all over the room. The flowers have two purposes: one, they mask the smell of the garbage pit; two, they magically enhance the properties of the compost, which is why the “just throw everything in a pit and hope for the best” approach is working so well. They shouldn’t be a threat, but here are some stats in case it’s needed:

Blostaeth: CR 1, XP 400; N Diminutive Magical Beast; Init +3; Senses Low-Light Vision, Darkvision 60ft; Perception +5

DEFENSE: AC 18, touch 17, flat-footed 15 (+4 size, +3 Dex, +1 natural); hp 14 (2d10+3); Saves Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +0; Immunities Aging, Disease

OFFENSE: Speed 10 ft.; Melee bite +3 (1d2-3); Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 2-1/2 ft.; Special Attacks Breath Weapon

STATISTICS: Str 4, Dex 16, Con 10, Int 4, Wis 10, Cha 10; Base Atk +2; CMB -5; CMD 8; Feats Toughness; Skills Perception +5; Special Qualities Magical Beast Traits

SPECIAL ABILITIES:

Breath Weapon (Su): A Blostaeth can exhale a 10ft. conical spray of seeds as a breath weapon. This attack causes 1d4 damage and allows a DC 11 reflex save for half damage. A Blostaeth can use its breath weapon once every day.

If excessively threatened, they bite and may use their breath weapon. A PC hit by the breath weapon may, in 3d4 days, notice that small white flowers are sprouting from their skin; the seeds can get embedded and grow in flesh. Being parasitized by flowers is not exactly healthy (1 Con damage per week), but isn’t hugely threatening either — the flowers are not difficult to find and pull out. Pulling them out stings a bit but does no appreciable damage.

Searching the room may reveal a huge golden trumpet stashed behind the trellises on the west wall, half-buried in the dirt and hidden by vines unless you look carefully. Right now it’s full of dirt, plant matter, and possibly bird poop. You should clean it up if you want to use it. Blowing this trumpet (which is difficult and might require a second person to help hold it up for you, as it’s almost ten feet long) will signal any Caretakers on this level of the dungeon to assemble in front of the trumpet-blower. (It will also make an extremely loud and not particularly melodious noise.) Upon arriving in front of the trumpet-blower, they will wait patiently for ten minutes. The idea is that you can summon them to give instructions; however, since none of the PCs are authorized to give those instructions, they just wait silently and then go back to what they were doing. If used in combat with the Caretakers, it will make them stop what they’re doing, but if they’re subsequently attacked, they’ll go back to defending themselves as before. If used outside the dungeon, it has a chance of having the same effect on any mindless constructs in a one-mile radius. (GM’s choice whether to assign a percentage chance or give the constructs some kind of save.) It cannot be used inconspicuously.

If any PC searches the compost pit (because you know someone’s going to) they’ll find, in addition to animal waste and plant matter, remains of various creatures from elsewhere in the dungeon. The Caretakers aren’t hugely consistent about bringing corpses to the pit — as evidenced by the bones elsewhere in the dungeon — but they do so often enough that it keeps there from being bones just knee-deep all over the place. This includes the remains of a few previous explorers, since at this point it would be weird if it didn’t. Let’s say four of them: William (fighter), Alice (bard), Elizabeth (paladin), and John (necromancer). (Gotta use up the normal names on this list, you know?) So if the PCs really want to play “archaeologist in the midden”, they can find those remains and any possessions those adventurers had when they died. Well, I say “any” possessions — anything metal would have been scavenged by Caretaker One, and the compost pit would have decomposed anything organic. So, really, “any non-metal possessions that are either made of stone or magically preserved in some way.” Again, best to randomly generate said possessions, I think — if it’s relevant, each of these past explorers is the PCs’ level +/- 1d4.

Any PC who jumps in the compost pit should have to save against disease. I don’t know which disease — GM’s choice. It’s not as bad as it could be, because, you know, it’s mostly just compost, but there’s still waste and carcasses that haven’t properly decomposed here.

Room 1.24: f.24v

The walls, floor, and ceiling of this large, oddly-shaped room are patterned with rust-stained holes. Examination will reveal that there used to be a number of large cages built into this room — someone has cleared the remnants out. (It was Caretaker One.) There are also remnants of glass enclosures that have shattered for one reason or another — watch your feet. In the south part of the room are two surviving enclosures.

Around the edges of the room runs a mezzanine, with stairs up to it on the east wall. On the mezzanine is another counter with cabinets and a shelf like the ones in Room 1.17 and Room 1.20. Unlike those, this has clearly already been ransacked — the only things left are broken glass vessels. The rest of the mezzanine is cluttered with broken bits of furniture. Three mostly-intact stone tables remain on the western portion. The eight pillars holding up the mezzanine extend all the way to the ceiling.

Back down on the ground, the surviving enclosure by the west wall is a glass terrarium with one side broken. It contains a miniature habitat, complete with miniature live trees, for a herd of miniature deer. With the side broken, the deer have escaped and can be found wandering over the rest of the room. (Not on the mezzanine, though, as they’re too small to get up the stairs.)

The surviving enclosure by the east wall is also glass, but fully intact. (The top is open, but it seems like it’s supposed to be.) It contains layers of dirt and plant matter, and seems to be dotted with hundreds of very small plant sprouts. These sprouts are the tails of biltwicks, strange little bluish worms with a plant-based tail and an odd, reddish, beaked head. I was going to make them harmless, but honestly I have this nagging feeling that this is becoming more of a pleasant tour than a dungeon crawl, so they probably need to be able to mess you up. Hm. They’re venomous.

In most respects, as far as game statistics are concerned, a biltwick is just a very strange-looking earthworm. (To my knowledge, there are no stats for earthworms, because why would you need them, so likewise there aren’t stats here.) There are two exceptions. First, like a lot of the other plant-creatures in this dungeon, any effect that wouldn’t work on a plant only has a 50% chance of working on a biltwick. they’re Part Plant, as codified in Room 1.26. Second, as mentioned, they’re venomous. If a PC sticks their hand in the enclosure or otherwise starts messing with them, they’ll bite.

Biltwick Venom: Injury; Fort Save DC 15; Onset 10 minutes; Frequency 1/minute for 10 minutes; Effect 1d2 Str; Secondary effect unconsciousness; Cure 2 consecutive saves.

Anyone under the effect of biltwick venom will spend 20 minutes unconscious for every point of Str damage they took. This does not count as a night’s rest, but if someone with a low Con gets bitten, the rest of the party may as well drag them off to a space less full of tiny deer and make camp. On the plus side, the sufferer experiences pleasant dreams. (Yes, the original intent was to make a naturally-produced tranquilizer for the beaſts.)

Room 1.25: f.25r

There are bones in the corners of this otherwise unremarkable room.

Also, there’s a lion in here. It must be kept pretty well fed to keep it from eating all those tiny deer next door. There may be some small antlers scattered on the floor from deer that wander into its lair though. Watch out; darn things are like caltrops. (Treat them as a terrain hazard if combat starts.) Caretaker Two probably intervenes if it tries to enter Room 1.23. Well fed or not, you probably want to be careful not to make any sudden move.

Room 1.26: f.25v

The north side of this room is taken up by a small artificial pond.

Growing in the pond are donkey reeds. (I had to do something with this illustration and rather than having another worm-like creature that’s kind of a plant, I thought maybe we should have a plant that’s kind of a creature.) They poke a few feet out of the water and are topped with small donkey heads. As could likely be guessed by the pink stalks and blue leaves, they’re not very effective photosynthesizers — they need to be fed by the Caretakers. (They’re herbivores; create food & water just conjures up heaps of plant matter for them) Donkey reeds are not hugely mobile, but the stalks are flexible and the heads might bite.

The pond also contains some more geese.

In the southwest corner, someone has crudely carved “don’t” into a portion of the wall. (A warning left by a previous explorer, not part of the original construction.) Examination will reveal that this section of wall is actually a hidden door. The door will open if anyone in the room casts an arcane spell; on the other side is a storage closet.

In the storage closet are a series of shelves that have some sort of magical effect surrounding them. Investigation will reveal that this is a stasis effect like the one in Room 1.5, keeping the contents of the shelves frozen in time. Many of the shelves are empty, but four contain a series of small ceramic apothecary jars. These jars are labeled and sorted, but the labels are just numbers someone has painted on, with no context provided. Each shelf contains 2d12 jars; all the jars on each shelf have the same number. (Note: the numbers have no meaning other than “this is Substance Number X I’ve made”. I’m numbering them 2, 35, 48, and 96 because those are the numbers I got by rolling a d100 four times. If you want to renumber or give them other meanings, that’s fine and shouldn’t cause problems.)

The stasis system in this storage closet is not, like the one in Room 1.5, part of a more complex mechanism. All it does is keep the shelves in stasis, and it’s meant to be convenient, so it can be turned off pretty easily. Each shelf has a rune carved on it — the same rune on each one. If an arcane spellcaster of any kind touches the rune, the stasis effect will drop until the rune is touched again. Opening a jar will reveal that they are filled with strange, foul-smelling pastes, very much like one might expect from an apothecary jar. Direct skin-to-skin contact with the paste provokes a Fortitude save (DC 15) against that paste’s effects, which will be outlined below.

Each substance in the jars is meant to provoke physical changes upon a living creature. (If one of your characters is undead or a construct or something, they’re immune.) The extent of the change depends on how much of the paste you apply. In the entries below, “minor exposure” indicates something like poking it with the tip of your finger or otherwise cautiously interacting with it, “moderate exposure” indicates either smearing some on yourself or ingesting any amount, and “major exposure” indicates topically applying the entire jar. Minor exposure takes three days to run its course; moderate exposure takes six; major exposure takes ten. If the PC fights off the effect before it naturally runs its course, you should use those timespans to decide what permanent results they did get.

The effect acts pretty much like a magical disease, and causes Constitution damage because having magic mess with your biology like this is not a pleasant or healthy experience. (Save DC 15; Onset 1d4 days; Frequency 1/day; Effect variable Con damage; Cure 2 consecutive saves.) Any changes are permanent, even after the “disease” runs its course and the Con damage stops. It is possible to reverse them with magic (remove disease should probably do it, but feel free to make your own calls about how easy or difficult this should be to heal.) PCs may choose to voluntarily fail their saves if they think the changes are neat enough to be worth the Con damage.

The “disease” shouldn’t be contagious, but as previous rooms within this dungeon have indicated, one of these things has accidentally mutated into a transmissible form at least once before. Specifics below this image of someone who has apparently been affected by all of them and doesn’t look happy about it.

Substance #2

Minor exposure: Whatever part of you came into contact with the substance begins slowly converting to plant-like material. If the effect is allowed to run its course, that body part will start sprouting leaves. You can technically photosynthesize, but not enough to make a noticeable difference in your food consumption.

Moderate exposure: As above, but you grow a few small vines (earthworm-sized) from the spot rather than just leaves, and you can photosynthesize sufficiently to reduce your required food consumption by ¼ if you keep your new floral accessory exposed to daylight for at least 8 hours a day. (If you ingested the substance instead of applying it topically, the vines appear at random locations spread over your body.)

Major exposure: As above, but you grow a single large vine as big around as your arm and twice as long, with broad, spreading leaves. It’s prehensile and fully under your control. Your food requirements are reduced by ½ with sufficient exposure to daylight. You are Part Plant, which is something I’m going to go ahead and codify since I keep using it… and I’ll make it a little more in-depth than “you have plant immunities half the time”. Consider this retroactive:

Part Plant can be applied to any living creature, excluding outsiders and… well, plants. Anything that is Part Plant has a flat 50% chance of ignoring any paralysis, poison, or stun effects. They gain +5 to any save against mind-affecting effects and sleep effects on account of their brain working a little different now. Sneak attacks on something that is Part Plant have a 10% failure chance; the organs aren’t all where they’re supposed to be. They can photosynthesize so long as their leaves are exposed to sun during the daylight hours; this cuts their food requirement in half. Their sleep requirements are also halved. Any magical effects that target plants (e.g. control plants) have a 50% chance of working on them; any effect that does damage to plants does half damage to them. To any spell or effect that checks a creature’s type, they count as a plant in addition to their original creature type.

Substance #35

Minor exposure: You develop a small humanoid face on the part of your body that was exposed. It has limited internal components (sinuses, throat, &c. are not really present), and can’t move.

Moderate exposure: You develop a fully functional humanoid face on the part of your body that was exposed (or a random part if you ingested it). The face can be up to a foot across, depending on how much of the substance you applied and where you applied it. It has internal components and seems to be hooked into your own respiratory system. It can move, and you have limited control over it. In general, this is a less-inconvenient version of Bonus Face Syndrome (which is a mutated version of this effect), in that the face is less prone to babble nonsense and you can exercise control over it. (It does not come with the same deleterious mental effects.) Trying to control the face should be modeled by a Charisma check (DC 13).

Major exposure: You develop a complete second head at the location where the substance was applied. (It may or may not have a neck, depending on location and the vagaries of magical effects.) The second head has its own mind, will, and mental stats. It has adult intelligence as well as fragments of your memory and personality. It shares control of your body; if the two of you disagree on what actions to take, make opposed Charisma checks to decide who has control.

Substance #48

Minor exposure: You develop fine blue scales over 10% of your body, radiating out from the point at which you came into contact with the substance. Wherever scales develop, your hair falls out.

Moderate exposure: As above, but 50% of your body. If you ingested the substance, you get patches of scales at random locations. You receive a +1 natural armor bonus.

Major exposure: As above, but 100% of your body. You receive a +2 natural armor bonus.

Substance #96

Minor exposure: You develop a single white-rimmed, spiracle-like opening at the part of your body where you came into contact with the substance. You can breathe through it.

Moderate exposure: As above, but you develop several of these openings spread throughout your body, with associated small gill-like structures. You can use them to breathe underwater for a limited period; they aren’t sufficiently numerous or well-developed to provide enough oxygen to function without coming up for air. Functionally, you can now hold your breath underwater for a number of minutes equal to five times your Constitution score.

Major exposure: You have dozens of these spiracle-like openings all over your body and your respiratory system has been entirely reworked. You are functionally amphibious.

Room 1.27: f.26r

This room contains substantially more rotten wood than any of the others you’ve come across. It might be intentional, since that wood seems to be inhabited by large worms of some sort.

Hunting those worms are a pair of harcats. These creatures are about the size of a housecat, and have a mixture of feline and rodential features. They are bipedal, their only limbs being a pair of powerful rabbit-like legs. Harcats move in a hunched-over manner, interacting with the world either through their prehensile tails or by biting. Appendix A wants there to be a monster in this room, so I’ve decided harcats are aggressive. I’m not saying there’s no way your PCs can make one into a pet, just that it’ll be difficult.

Harcat: CR 2, XP 600; N Tiny Animal; Init +3; Senses Low-Light Vision, Scent; Perception +0

DEFENSE: AC 15, touch 15, flat-footed 12 (+2 size, +3 Dex); hp 14 (3d8+0); Saves Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +1

OFFENSE: Speed 25 ft.; Melee bite +4 (1d6-1 plus disease); Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 2-1/2 ft.; Special Attacks Leap, Disease

STATISTICS: Str 8, Dex 16, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 10, Cha 10; Base Atk +2; CMB -1; CMD 12; Feats Mobility, Weapon Focus (bite); Skills Acrobatics +9 Special Qualities Animal Traits

SPECIAL ABILITIES:

Leap (Ex): As a move action, a Harcat can jump up to ten feet in any direction, including straight up. This does not provoke an attack of opportunity.

Disease (Ex): A Harcat’s needle-like teeth are prone to communicating disease. Pick any disease you’d like to throw at your PCs; if you don’t want to choose, filth fever is a sensible fallback.

Room 1.28: f.26v

Appendix A wanted me to put something fairly goofy here, and I expected to veto it, but this page doesn’t have a lot for me to work with, so we’re rolling with it.

The entrance to this room is a large set of iron double doors with ring-shaped door-knockers. (Don’t roll on the Doors Table for this one; it’s intact.) When the PCs open the doors, flip a coin or otherwise roll a 50% chance.

On heads (or the first half of your 50% roll), the other side of the doors is an empty 20x30 room. If the PCs close the doors behind them, there is a rumbling noise and a sensation of movement — this room is actually a sort of freight elevator, and it’s taking them down to Level Two. (What’s on the other side of the door on that level? Tell you in a month or so.) The elevator takes half an hour to automatically reset; until that point, it can’t be made to move again. After half an hour has passed, opening and closing the doors will make it bring them back to Level One.

On tails (or the other option in whatever mechanism you’re using), the doors open onto a sheer drop into a large space with rough-hewn walls. The top of the elevator is 50 feet below them. The elevator doesn’t take up the whole space — there’s a good ten feet on each side, excluding the side with the door — and a number of birds are nesting on ledges around the edges of the space. This elevator shaft also seems to extend some 20 feet upwards, where a large pulley of some kind hangs from the ceiling, with cables reaching down to the elevator.

If the elevator isn’t present (i.e., if you got tails on that coin), it can be summoned by using the knockers on the doors.

And there’s Week Four done. Hey, if you’re reading this, like… let me know?

#college of grotesque arts #dungeon23 #dungeons and dragons #d&d #dnd #pathfinder #illuminated manuscript #manuscript #marginalia #medieval #medieval creatures #medieval art

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