#(I also know I should probably see someone about it but women’s health and a small town you know)

[livinahey]

aaaaaastrobs-essions (jk) .・゜゜・

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i'm back :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・。.・゜✭・»»————>

if you struggling with low self esteem go to fire sun/earth mars/venus in angles (1h/4h/7h/10). They will cheer you up and remind you that you deserve fine things in life 💅✨🧚‍♀️ just dont fake your insecurities to them or theyll disgusted by you

speak of self esteem, someone that have their asteroid medusa (149) in your 2nd are the one that silently judge and mock you. the one that try to attack your self esteem. the one that underestimate you; and will start to think "whats cool about them?" if you get great achievement in life. EVEN think that you dont deserve that and it should be them because they think theyre way much better than you 😹😹 what a bitch. beware of them try to steal your great things as a result ‼️😒👹💥💥

asteroid nemesis (128) in house shows ab whats hurt you then you develop animosity/hatred to it, check the theme of the house

1h - hatred towards self identity, hatred towards how people see you, you can hate your looks :(

2h - hatred towards possessions. You may lacks of material possessions, feel less than others in that area and you hate it

3h - hatred towards sibling, neighbor

4h - hatred towards family

5h - hatred towards "spotlight", flings, drama, childlike spirit

6h - hatred towards coworker, health (you may feel youre less healthy than others)

7h - hatred towards partner (✋💀💀), partnership itself. you likely wanna do everything alone

8h - hatred towards mystery. you hate it when someone hides something from you, not clear ab something, keeping something from you, being secretive

9h - hatred towards um.... tw religions. sorry you probably hate particular beliefs. hatred towards travelling, inlaws are also possible

10h - hatred towards public image, fame. you can hate public figures, famous person 😹😹 (im laughing because yeah we all know public figure often are not what they show on the media aka theyre fake)

11h - hatred towards friend, hatred towards what you see on internet. can be indicator of someone that dont like to use social media, or you give hate speech/comments on social media

12h - hatred towards whats "out of reach"

cardinal moons are pure souls that surrounded by "darkness". they can easily influenced by negativity from their surrounding so they MUST, i say MUST to keep good ppl around them or....bye (aka they can turn themselves into the evil)

what's with sag venus and having interest in things that they shouldnt be interested to

taurus women have this fiery strong badass facade to them, while the men looks like cute puppy (and wise???) lmao (for sun moon mars)

mutable mercury in first decan (0°-9°) why are you like to lie for no reason. are prone to say what they dont really mean. go seek better hobbies!

some of leo sun men are gay but they hide it by having love relationship with women... that's very weird (and irritating) of you

undeveloped earth venus only falls for/want to dating popular goodlooking mf even if in personality wise theyre not that best and it can leads to unfulfilling relationship 💁‍♀️

talk ab earth venus, i see them always fall for fixed sign venus (no im not referring them fixed venus as bad one that i mentioned above)

developed earth venus? they dont need to be with someone to increase their status, they simply being the (true) great person they are 🤩 (they know how to and do get the good life by themselves!!)

what i like ab fire moon is theyre so passionate but sometimes it can be too passionate where it leads to them making unnecessary drama 😭😭

water suns are prone to being delusional 😹😹

air venus stop giving mixed signals

i cant help but think ab where sagittarius in your chart shows what's "wild", "crazy" about you. thats why pluto in sag generations being seen as scary bcs the power (pluto rules ab power) they have.... 😹😹

moon-neptune aspects 🤝 say something then regret it

libra big 6 placements 🤝 attract petty ppl (and then get attacked, being seen as bad one when they just want to defend/protect themselves :()

undeveloped fixed moon 🤝 being petty

pluto in earth house (2h/6h/10h) are the brat but loved lmao

aqua mars 🤝 makes ppl amazed

air sign jupiter give the vibes of unstoppable teenagers (in a good way). see blackpink lisa (aqua jupiter), nct jaemin (gemini jupiter), newjeans hanni (libra jupiter), or another air sign jupiter you know! 😉

saturn-sun aspect are prone to experience unexpected loss :(

there's nothing more i hate in synastry than squaring to venus aspect... bc i feel unwanted there 🧍‍♀️🪓

#astro notes #astrology #astrology observations #astroblr #asteroid astrology #venus astrology #taurus #mercury astrology #sagittarius #houses in astrology #libra #pluto astrology #synastry #venus synastry #astrology chart #synastry chart #natal chart

[alpaca-clouds]

Rape, Abuse, Trauma and the Need for Power

This topic has been sneaking around in my brain for days now. Because I find it quite interesting to see this depicted in now multiple franchises. And I really want to talk about it. Partly, because I see some people struggling to understand it. So, let me, an abuse victim, explain.

You see these three characters? Yeah, they actually have a lot in common. Let me explain.

Spoilers vor Castlevania, Stray Gods and Baldur's Gate, obviously.

All three of them were victims of abuse and (probably) also rape. It should be noted that with both Carmilla and Persephone it is never outright said that they were raped, but it is heavily implied. With Astarion, obviously, it is outright stated.

More than that, we do know about all three of them that they were also abused. Both Carmilla and Astarion by their respective sires. Persephone by Hades.

And they also have one other thing in common: Their character arc features them trying to get some sort of power. Let me go through with them.

Carmilla was abused by her sire. We do know very little about the details, only that he was very cruel. There is some heavy implication that the abuse involved rape. At some point she killed her sire. Her entire character story is about her trying to get power for herself. First by trying to get control over Dracula's Castle. Then she tries to build her own empire. With her mental health getting worse, she ends up fantasizing about world domination.

Persephone in Stray Gods was kidnapped, raped and abused by Hades. She had everything taken from her during this, until she finally could not take it any longer and killed Hades. But the other gods denied her to take control over the underworld. Her basic conflict stems from her wanting to regain control over the underworld again.

Astarion is of course the odd one out, given we learn a lot more about his abuse. But like the two women, he was abused, raped and tortured. Due to the DnD vampire rules, he had no way of actually fighting back against his sire, with him escaping just through what amounts to sheer luck. When he learns that his sire wanted to sacrifice him (and many others) to gain a lot of power, Astarion wants to finish the ritual for himself, gaining the power.

The outcome of course is different for all three.

Carmilla gets killed, once she goes down the "world domination" thing. While with Persephone and Astarion it depends on player choice. I would argue though, that the happy end for them both is them giving up the power. That is Persephone giving up the throne and Astarion not finishing the ritual.

What is the interesting thing about this... Or, well, interesting might be the wrong world. But it is well written. Because this is very, very realistic for their backstories.

See, both abuse and especially rape are a lot about power. The abuser/rapist takes full control over the victim's body and life. (Which is also why rape rarely has to do with sexual enjoyment, and more with the rapist wanting to assert power.) Or, from the perspective of the survivor: It is all about having the power taken away from them.

This is bad enough if it is something that is a one time occurance. But if the survivor is in the situation for a long time, they experience a prolonged period of powerlessness and fear. The survivor is constantly afraid, constantly in survival mode, constantly trying to just get through it.

In my life I have seen too many bad takes along the lines of: "Rape survivors should stop whining. How bad can one rape be?" And those people do once again not understand: Rape is not about the sex. It is about having control and power over your own body taken away from you. It is about you being turned into a thing to be used by someone else. Which does not even mention the feeling of fear most people experience during a rape, as they do not know what kind of other violence might follow.

And this is something that leads the survivors to even after escaping the abuse, the trauma often leaves them feeling powerless. They might objectively not have less power than they had before the abuse happened, but to the traumatized nervous system it feels like that. And the traumatized brain does not work logically or objectively. All it knows is: The survivor has not enough power to prevent this situation from occuring again. But here is the thing: No amount of power will make them feel like they have enough power, like they can meaningfully protect themselves from further abuse.

This is why Carmilla is escalating so much in season 4 of Castlevania. Because no matter how much control and power she gets, she does not feel like it is enough to protect herself.

This is also why I do feel like the happy end for both Persephone and Astarion is them giving up their symbol of power. Because the thing is, that them gaining the power will just push them along into a spiral of needing more power to keep themselves in a feeling of being safe. Which is why the good ending for them needs to involve them being convinced to basically trust people again. Because that is a path that given enough time can lead to healing. Them gaining the power won't. In terms of their trauma the power they might gain is just a bandaid on an infected wound.

I have seen a lot of people argue that you should let Astarion finish the ritual, because it "is what he wants". But the thing is... it isn't. All he wants is to feel safe. And he thinks if he gains that power, he can feel safe. But he can't. To feel safe he needs to heal.

#analysis #baldurs gate 3 #castlevania #castlevania netflix #stray gods #astarion #bg3 astarion #castlevania carmilla #stray gods persephone #trauma #cw rape #cw sa #cw abuse

[ukrfeminism]

Rebecca Whitehurst never wants to set foot in a school again.

She also wants all teachers, especially female ones, to wear bodycams, to have CCTV in every classroom and for teachers to operate in pairs. “I think teachers should never be alone with children, there should always be someone else there. I know it is dramatic but I don’t want what happened to me to ever happen to anyone else,” she said.

The views of Whitehurst, who is married with two children and has been a modern languages teacher for more than ten years, have been shaped by what she describes as a “modern horror story”.

Last week the 46-year-old wept as a jury at Manchester’s Minshull Street crown court cleared her of two charges of sexual activity with a child and one of sexual communications. She had been accused of a sexual act with a 15-year-old pupil in the back of her Volvo and of sending him explicit texts, including a photograph of her breasts.

The court heard that the teenager, who had declared he was in love with Whitehurst, became obsessed with her and lied about or faked the messages. The boy, who watched pornography involving older women, assaulted her in her classroom and sent an abusive message to her daughter, the court was told.

The family spent £43,000 fighting the case, which dragged on for three years. If convicted she would have faced up to 14 years’ in jail.

Speaking from her home in Cheshire where her husband, Billy, an accountant, has “been unbelievably supportive”, she said her experience at times felt like a television drama.

It unfolded against the backdrop of a rising number of schoolboys watching online pornography, and pupils’ mental health becoming a frontline problem for many schools.

Last year, an Ofsted report found 90 per cent of girls and 50 per cent of boys polled by the schools inspectorate said they had been sent explicit pictures and messages they did not wish to see. A survey for the British Board of Film Classification last year found that almost half of 16 and 17-year-olds had recently seen pornography. Figures from NHS Digital found that one in six children in England had a probable mental health disorder last year, up from one in nine in 2017.

Whitehurst’s ordeal started in April 2019. The boys’ school where she taught French, German and Spanish had paid for her to attend a three-day course on mindfulness. She was asked to teach the subject — not to lower the stress of high-achieving children in the run-up to exams, which she had suggested, but to children on the inclusion register, who have special educational needs and disabilities. “I said yes because I am that sort of person,” the Sheffield University graduate said, but admitted to being nervous about teaching a “wishy washy” subject to children who may have experienced significant trauma.

In an early session with the group of ten boys the 15-year-old who would go on to accuse her said he was hearing voices in his head telling him to kill someone. “I thought OMG,” she said. “As soon as I could I reported it on our safeguarding system . . . I reported it on there and thought someone would talk to me about it, but no one did.”

As the sessions continued the teenager “latched” onto Whitehurst, who tried to give him “sensible advice” via the school’s email system.

He talked about being in a gang and, in an area of the city linked to the Manchester bomber, Whitehurst also feared he was at risk of getting involved in terrorism. When he started to talk about how he had “this big secret” and she was the only person he could tell it to, she made, she admits, a critical mistake.

“He had said he wants to kill people and is in a gang,” she said. “He was talking about going to the mosque. All these things were adding up in my head. I thought there was a bigger picture and I would find out about it and report it.

“I tried to get him to talk to staff who were better trained in such matters but he said no. He said he did not trust the school email which we were already communicating on. In one email thread he emailed me a ghost emoji and I realised he meant he wanted to tell me the secret on Snapchat. I downloaded Snapchat on purpose because I thought he was going to give me this big secret.”

Whitehurst said the secret was nothing to do with terrorism: “The secret was he was in love with me. I realised I had made an idiot of myself. I told him nothing like that was ever going to happen and there had been a misunderstanding. I told him I had to tell the school. He would say ‘they are not going to believe you’ and that I had made a mistake in giving him my Snapchat username. I should have reported it but I did not and I know now that that was an error.”

A few weeks later the teenager came into Whitehurst’s classroom when she was alone. He tried to force his tongue into her mouth, touched her intimately, slapped her face and spat at her. She tried to push him away, which he told the court he thought was encouragement.

“I do not think he knew how bad it was what he did; I know porn was available to him, he sent me lots of links which I never opened but I have an idea of what he watched,” she said. “I think he thought slapping me and spitting at me was sexy in some way.” Again, she did not report the assault. Whitehurst admits she was scared and also “again I thought I would be held responsible as I am the adult and he is the child”, but from then on things got steadily worse.

Over the coming weeks he gave her a necklace and sent naked images of himself which she deleted. He “begged” her to meet him outside school. Still worried about his state of mind, she met him several times in public places, including at a charity run she was doing in a Manchester park where she thought there was no risk of him “launching himself at her”.

At school Whitehurst volunteered for extra duties to ensure she was not alone. She applied for jobs in other schools.

In September 2019 she broke down in the playground when a colleague asked her if she was OK: “I said no and blurted it all out. She said she would have to take this to the head teacher.”

Whitehurst agreed with the head teacher that the matter would be reported to the police and the local authority safeguarding officer and that she would be suspended pending an inquiry. “My logic was, they will understand,” she said. “They will know he is difficult and that I wanted to help but mismanaged things.”

Whitehurst was shocked in her first police interview, two months later, when she heard that the boy had accused her of having sexual activity with him and sending him photos of her breasts.

The pandemic meant that the investigation dragged on. She did not hear anything until last year when police said they had downloaded data from both the phones, including a screenshot of a fake text conversation in whch she appeared to be suggesting sexual acts with the teenager outdoors.

“I thought, ‘I never sent those’. They did not look right. They were obviously fake. The language did not add up. I did not need a professor of linguistics to say that was not me,” she said.

“It was extraordinary that what he said was believed and I was not. He said it was consensual. And we were in love.

“I kept thinking the police will look at all this properly, tell me this will be dropped and say, ‘You poor woman’.”

As it became clear that the case would go to court Whitehurst switched lawyers. Her new team instructed an expert witness to look at the downloaded data from both phones. His report — which cost the family £8,000 — made clear there was no evidence that a photo of her breasts or a text suggesting outdoor sex acts had been sent by her or received by the teenager. Still the case was not dropped.

A week before court, Whitehurst says “calm descended”. She decided not to wear a face mask or hide her face and be “as brave as I could be”.

By video link the teenager gave contradictory evidence and admitted the assault on Whitehurst. The jury took less than three hours to acquit her.

Whitehurst’s case may be extreme but it is not isolated. There is a website on which teachers share dozens of accounts of false allegations. Teaching unions called last year for pupils who make them to be excluded and for fully funded mental health programmes aimed at boys.

Christian Harbinson of the law firm Thompsons solicitors, which represented Whitehurst, said: “An underfunded criminal justice system is unable to cope and that stretches out the agony for innocent people like Rebecca. It’s taken almost three years, since the allegations were first made, for her to clear her name, during which time Rebecca’s life has been on hold and her family have had to deal with an unimaginable level of stress and worry.”

Asked whether the teenager, now 18, would face an inquiry for possible criminal offences, Greater Manchester police said it had no intention to investigate “the child victim in this case”.

[gingerylangylang1979]

If he gets his shit together Carmy could be an amazing husband and father

Currently, Carmy is a hot mess. But I really hope the show doesn’t intend for that to be his end game. Yes, he will always struggle with mental health issues. People aren’t cured of them, it’s a matter of managing life with them. If only mentally healthy people had spouses and children most of us wouldn’t be here and the world would be a lonely place. Unless someone is a danger to themselves and others I hate it when I hear people trying to dictate who should reproduce and who shouldn’t. I don’t even want to get into the mildly hinting at eugenicist implications of such statements.

Carmy has a way to go. Some may say he shouldn’t have had a romantic relationship. Looking back I actually think it was good that he at least tried. At the moment he thinks it was a mistake and he shouldn’t try again. But that will change as he progresses. It was a learning experience. It showed that he is capable of giving his heart, caring for a partner, being romantic, letting loose, being domestic. It also shows that there is a part of him that is unfulfilled without a relationship. It was just bad timing with the wrong person. 

Beyond that I think part of Carmy’s character is a sense of respect and care for women. He speaks up when Richie harasses Sydney and when the guys were being vulgar about Claire at Christmas. He hasn’t really had a role model for chivalry and feminism but he has those values and isn’t afraid of being called “weird”. He doesn’t seem to care about fitting into the Berzatto male paradigm. He actively tries to escape it when it comes to worldview. This is why Richie calls him “woke”. Richie is built different. Mikey is built different. 

Carmy is a product of the best traits of his generation and exposure to different lifestyles. He’s traveled. He’s worked with women as his superiors and equals. He’s not afraid to bring Sydney on as his CDC, Tina on as her Sous, and Natalie as project manager. He has anger issues that are often directed at Sydney but it’s not because she’s a woman. We never see him try to dominate in his relationship with Claire. He also isn’t intimidated that Claire has post-graduate education and may have more long term earning potential than him unless he really becomes a culinary mogul. 

Carmy has paternal instincts. At the kid’s birthday party he knew they would want ketchup, he made the ecto-cooler, he was more concerned than anyone else about them being sedated. He made Tiff probably the best Sprite on the planet. I’m sure when Nat’s baby arrives he will be smitten, even if a fish out of water. I’m curious if he has interacted with Ava. 

With the staff he is nurturing when opportunities arise. He sold off some of his prized denim to keep the place afloat. He still makes the beef even if it’s the wrong cut. He continues service after the toilet explodes because they have to keep it movin. He consoles Marcus when he fucked up service. He also warns him to stay on track but didn’t hold it against him when he actually did go off point. He bails Richie out with their parachute. He sends Marcus to Copenhagen, Tina and Ebra to culinary school, Richie to Chef Terry. He gives Sydney the space to experiment and fail. He keeps everyone on and paid. He fucks up big time and becomes unhinged but he earnestly apologizes. He’s trying. He cares. He knows he needs work. He wants to provide in the best way he’s able at the moment. 

So with time, patience, and consistency, perhaps years from now I can really see him being a great partner and father. Carmy is a survivor. He doesn’t give up, he’s gonna make shit happen, he’s good at pivoting, he stays committed. Please let him have a wife and kid(s) someday if he desires. Thinking he should be alone forever is deeply pessimistic. 

Adding: Carmy is also very attentive. His radar goes off immediately when Sydney is upset. He tries to fix it. He’s struggling now but he wants to put in the work and won’t leave things with them at odds. He’s not too proud to apologize.

#the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmy x sydney #family #fatherhood

[bonefall]

Do you have any plans for Moth Flight in your au? I always felt like she had a lot of potential, but her super edition…. Oh it’s bad. God forbid a disabled, young, single mom try to raise children and have a job at the same time. Too bad there was no one to help her when things got stressful, like you know, her clanmates… No women should have a job and children at the same time ever again.

If it wasn’t obvious that was sarcasm, Moth Flight’s story has awful implications. But! In BB Clerics Not being allowed to have kits wasn’t a law until the Ripple Era, it used to just be a personal vow and was a bit taboo. So I’m interested in of Moth Flight still had something to do with the creation of the vow itself? And just in general if you have any plans to fix her story or if you’re just throwing the whole thing out. (Which would be completely understandable.) I just think there IS potential there in her story, especially in BB where the Clerics Vow is actually ACKNOWLEDGED to not make sense and be bad. It could be interesting for the idea to rise from such a hyper specific, awful situation. The Clans having altered her story so much over the years that it went from the truth, “the first Cleric was a young, single mother of four, trying to raise her children while morning her husband and convincing the other Clans that they needed Clerics. The odds were against her.” To the perfect, Cleric’s Vow supporting lie, “the first Cleric had kits. She was unable to balance raising them and caring for her Clanmates. She taught the Clans a valuable lesson, a Clerics first and only duty should be healing and worshiping StarClan. Kits only get in the way of that duty.”

Idk, I just feel like there’s still an interesting story to tell somewhere through all of Moth Flight’s super edition’s bs. In the hands of a better writer who doesn’t ACTUALLY believe that Moth Flight’s genuinely tragic life means that all women who have jobs can never have children or get married again.

There's HUUGE overhauls here. I spoke about it eons ago during the last wave where I was discussing my changes to BB!DOTC, but let me give you the fragments thus far.

It's VERY different. Get ready for Moth Flight to be a completely different character.

MOTH FLIGHT'S VOW

She is no longer the child of Wind Runner. In fact...

She's the daughter of Wind Runner's shitty ex, Branch

Moth's other dad is Cloud Flight (prev. Cloud Spots). Since the Great Battle, Cloud has been wandering between the 5 groups as a sort of traveling doctor. It's a lot of work, there's only him and Dapple and an overwhelming amount of cats who need his skilled paws

So Moth Flight has always been a bit detached from people. I want her to actually have ADHD this time around, instead of it vanishing when it isn't convenient.

She kind of has Military Base Kid energy, hopping place to place with unresolved mental health issues. She probably bites ppl because I love weird girls

"papas can i bring my leeches" "honey no"

Cloud really wanted to train her to be a Medic the way he is, but... she has to learn how to do it her own way.

Branch doesn't help he's a goof and mostly interested in playing games with his baby.

I want to portray Branch as someone who's flighty, not another example of "before the Tribe cats came we were uncivilized heathens without society"

I also don't like his original narrative purpose to give Wind Runner trust issues that don't matter. If she had trust issues, what exactly was all that "please let me join ur group" about??

BB!Wind Runner is a breakaway from the River Kingdom, and the leader of the loosely united Moor cats. She created the Wind Coalition and is its intense, notoriously ruthless leader

So something eventually calls Cloud to do his work for the Wind Coalition

Branch: *SWEATS*

Cloud Flight: "..............branch. what did you Do"

Branch: "youre not allowed to be mad at me"

Cloud Flight: "tell me what you did and then we'll see if im mad at you"

The take might be controversial, but I do like the way that Windstar has problems with Moth Flight for no reason. I wanted to preserve it while removing it being yet another case of motherly child neglect, and more of a case of Wind Runner holding unfair grudges. I think it's good drama

Moth Flight's love of nature, herbs, and the natural world eventually prompts her to follow a Hairstreak Butterfly to the Moonstone. It leads her through the winding tunnels, a path that only Clerics will know how to navigate in the future, to the shimmering chamber in the middle.

Through her special connection to StarClan, drawing off the early cultural view of their ancestors as nature spirits (the fact that they are star spirits is a Park Cat contribution and all 5 leaders have their lives by this point), Moth Flight is able to come into her own as a holy speaker and healer. She begins to blur the line between holiness and healing, marked by how Clanmew has only one word for both concepts.

Hairstreak Butterflies also become known as a "herald" type of butterfly. I could get into the linguistics of this, but the old Tribemew word for moth/butterfly becomes the Clanmew word for sacred butterflies.

Micah is not supremely important anymore, but he's there. He doesn't become a healer in MFV, he's just Moth's mate.

But things begin to go wrong when her kittens are born.

All four children are born with a high connection to StarClan, just like their mother.

She takes it on herself to train them, as Cloud Flight had done with her, wiser from understanding that they would learn in their own ways.

Dapple and Cloud Flight never have this connection to star spirits, and they're growing old. Cloud is ready to retire, Dapple dies in some way before she's able to train a replacement

It begins to cause panic in the groups. It was bad with only two healers, but now everything is stretched even thinner.

SkyClan, notoriously violent, is the first to make the move. Skystar was not above the practice of Kit Stealing, taking Misty's kittens and giving them to Petal Claw for her loyalty ages ago.

Kit Stealing wouldn't become common until the creation of the Law of Loyalty, which is only a few years away, but it did exist before then.

They want a Mothkin kitten.

The Wind Coalition, of course, moves to fight and protect them. They call on ThunderClan, who can usually be relied upon

ThunderClan's request... they also want a Mothkin kitten. They need doctors too.

The River Kingdom and ShadowClan are also moving to take a kitten

EVERYONE needs a doctor, and they will fight and kill to get one. They all begin to realize... if they don't separate, there will be blood. People they love will die, and they'll be ripped apart anyway

Moth Flight, seeing this, BURNING with sorrow and fury at the violence of the Clans but knowing there is no other option, tells her children to make her a promise.

"That there will be no Mothkin after you. That you will never take a mate, or give your kidnappers more children. That you will remember that they were willing to kill their own families to steal you, and that you will be loyal the pursuit of life, virtue, and your sacred ability to heal above the cruel commands of the treacherous Clans."

Having accepted this, the family calls for an end to the fighting. Each child chooses a Clan to go to, and has their name changed.

ThunderClan: Spider Flight -> Spider Flight (no change)

SkyClan: Honey Flight -> Honey Pelt

RiverClan: Bubble Flight -> Bubbling Stream

ShadowClan: Blue Flight -> Blue Whisker

They're being shuffled based on which Clan they go to because it always bothered me that their names don't match their Clans, and also Spider Paw going to RiverClan when he has a phobia of water is insulting and I said no

So, TL;DR, this is a completely different story because DOTC is the one arc that I don't value "fixing." It needs a complete overhaul, imo.

This one would take place after Thunderstar's Justice, which immediately follows the First Battle. In terms of timeline, first is Hollyleaf's Century, 30 years later BB!DOTC begins and lasts several years, a few months after the First Battle begins Thunderstar's Justice, and then Moth Flight's Vow follows a year later.

#Moth Flight's Vow #BB!DOTC #Better bones au

[aemondsbeloved]

The Cost of Duty Pt. 2

pairing(s): (Mentioned) Aegon II Targaryen x reader, Aemond Targaryen x reader

summary: It has been weeks since you’ve seen Aegon after you reminded him of your duty to your betrothed, his brother. If you thought you could keep your affections for Prince Aegon a secret to Aemond you were wrong.

warnings: none I think? mentions of drinking and alcoholism. this is kinda angsty kinda not. love triangle vibes between aegon, aemond and the reader but also kind of not. probably typos in this, I will edit later

notes: I haven’t really been on here because of finals taking up all my time BUT here’s part two! this is very little women inspired with aemond and the reader being like Amy and Laurie. there will be another part

[read part 1 here]

It had been weeks since you’ve seen Aegon more than a glimpse in the castle that you were granted. Ever since he had left you in the hillside of the Red Keep when you told him you would do your duty and marry his brother despite your love for him, he had done much to avoid you.

Now, you were with your betrothed. Prince Aemond held your arm as you walked the gardens.

Before you spent time in the gardens alone sometimes reading a book or doing embroidery, while other times Princess Helaena, your soon to be good sister, would join you. She had not joined you as of late, why you did not know, but you knew that Aemond without fail would come to the gardens to walk with you after his training with Ser Criston.  

“My sister has not been accompanying you as much,” He observed quietly. “Is there a reason behind this?”

When you were first betrothed to Aemond you thought his questions like this were very accusatory and had often wondered if he asked them expecting someone was always lying to him somehow. Helaena had told you this was not the case and you had trusted her.

“I am not sure, my Prince” You replied. “I had thought she was busy with her duties and I did not want to presume that she would always be free to spend her time with me.”

“What have I told you about calling me Aemond?” He asked with warmth in his voice, almost like he found your manners endearing. “We’ve known one another since we were children, the least you could do is stop the formalities.”

You only wish the smile on his face, one of mirth or at least as much mirth as someone like Aemond could muster, could incite the reaction that one from his elder brother would. There was no heat rising to your neck and cheeks nor did you feel any butterflies in your stomach at it, much to your disappointment.

You smiled in apology to him, gently squeezing his arm that you held with yours as you walked.

“I think, perhaps, that Helaena might be spending more time with my brother, if you would believe such a thing.”

You schooled your features trying not to show surprise. “Is that so?” You asked, instead.

He hummed. “Mother wants to get them married sooner rather than late and is not content with how my brother spends little time with Helaena, so he has been told to spend time with her.”

“Why move up the wedding date?” You asked, curiously.

He shrugged. “She did not say. I think, perhaps, it has something to do with father’s health. She wishes for him to see them wed, I would say. Even my grandsire agrees that they should be wed soon.”

“That is such good news” You said, despite not truly believing it as you pushed a bright smile onto your face. “It will be a wondrous thing to be at a wedding in the Sept.”

“Do not lie to me, Y/N” Aemond said, not unkind, as you reached a quieter, more secluded part of the gardens where a rose bush bloomed. “I am not blind and I know you better than you might think. Your attachment to Aegon is no secret to me.”

He had turned to you, dropping your arm for a moment as he faced you. “I am, perhaps, not the husband you wish for, but we share a duty now. My brother and sister are going to be wed soon and we too will be married by spring’s end.”

Your skin felt hot and your dress itched as you could not look him in the eye now. The shame of it, if Aemond thought you had perhaps done something with his brother besides spending time with him.

“Aemond, I—” You cut yourself off, not knowing what to say in your slight panic at what he may think of you. Affection for him or not, the thought of him, someone you had been friends with since your youth, thinking lowly of you, cut you deeply. “I have not sullied myself with Aegon.”

You pinched your eyebrows together, your eyes squinting closed at your phrasing. Sighing, you opened your eyes again. “I only mean to say that I have not lay with him. I would not do that to you, or Helaena. I-I know what you think of him, the same what your mother and grandsire think of him, but he hasn’t— we haven’t.”

“Hush” He said soothingly, holding your arm with a gentle squeeze, a gesture of reassurance. “You do not need to explain yourself to me. Ser Criston has told me you spend time with one another with great frequence, that is all.”

Your skin felt aflame at that. You had not gone into his bed chambers, you had not lain with him in bed, but you had sought him out more than your betrothed, his brother. Somehow, spending time with Aegon on the hill of the Red Keep overlooking King’s Landing felt like a more lethal form of treachery. You had told him you loved him and would only ever love him. You hated yourself for it and you hated how true the love for Aegon was despite the man standing in front of you.

“We are to be married. You will be my lord husband. If I do not have to explain my misgivings to you, who do I have to explain myself to?”

He smiled at that. Not the restrained smiled, but an open, content one. It was like hearing the words, my lord husband, from your tongue was all it took to please him. At that the knife in your heart twisted brutally.

He was making it so easy to love him with his smile, his kindness you were undeserving of, the duty he had kept to you. And you were stuck thinking of his brother, the one who had pulled your hair when you were children, and now told you he wanted to run away, shirk from his duties to his family, soon to be sister wife, and the throne.

How despicable you had turned out to be. What would your Septa say now if she could see you?

“I would never accuse you of such a thing” He said. “You are a woman of honor even if my brother has none. I will be proud to call my lady wife.”

“Aemond…” You voice trailed off, sounding unsure and quiet. What was there to say? He knew from Ser Criston Cole that you would meet with Aegon, seeking him out and having too deep a friendship to be so platonic.

“Come,” He urged, taking your arm again. “Let us walk some more, my Lady.”

“I asked a favor of Ser Criston” He told you, which made you curiously look at him from the side of your eye. “I wasn’t so sure he would agree, being as devoted as he is to my mother, but he will not tell her how you and Aegon spend so much time together. In these past weeks she has come to the conclusion that her idea to have Aegon spend more time with my sister is the reasoning behind him not being seen in the street of silk. Ser Criston agreed that it is better if this allusion remains.”

You briefly recalled how the last time you had seen Aegon he had said how glad Aemond would be if he knew he was the reason behind the elder Targaryen’s drinking habits, all because Aemond would have you and Aegon would never.

“She has elected to ignore how he barely makes it to his bed these day without the help of a Kingsguard, a new low for my brother, but I must allow my mother to take a reprieve from worrying over him.”

For a moment you wondered why he was telling you this. For the many years you had known him, Aemond was not one to do something without reason, much less tell others why he has done something.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you are to be my wife, my lady, and unlike my brother I wish my marriage to be a happy one.”

Your eyes were glued to the ground at his last words. Aegon had, after all, spent nearly all his time with you besides the last weeks and never even acknowledged his sister, his wife to be. You had let him a part of you loathed your actions. No, nothing sinful had occurred between you and Aegon but you did know he was betrothed to someone who was possibly the kindest Targaryen to have lived.

You were little better than Aegon, you wagered, as you had a betrothed who was dedicated to you but you had sought his brother’s company instead.

“I do not tell you this to cause you harm, Y/N.”

Using his index finger, he gently tilted up your chin so he could look at your reluctant gaze. His touch was gentle despite the roughness of his finger, calloused from years of training with the sword.

Aegon’s fingers, the ones who had held your hand, wiped away tears from your cheek, were as soft as could be. Unlike his younger brother, Aegon did not train with the sword much.

Aemond could not be more different than Aegon, you realized. When you hurt most, desperate for Aegon to stay, he had left you on the grassy hill. You could not see Aemond doing such a thing, even if you had hurt him somehow.

“But if we are to be happy in this marriage, you cannot seek my brother’s company as you have.”

You gulped as he told you this, looking at you intently. You did not want to disappoint him nor did you want to hurt him, so you grabbed one of his hands in yours squeezing it. “I promise I will do no such thing again, Aemond. I know my duty to you, our joining families, ourselves, I do.”

He sighed, part of him seeming relieved while the other part seemed to want to say something else. Your brow furrowed, confusion marring your features at this. “What is it?”

He dropped your hand. “You have to understand, my lady. I am the second son. I know I am not your preferred choice but—”

“That is not true, Aemond” You whispered shakily. “I do not view you as such—”

“But I am a second son. Aegon has my mother’s devotion. She has to give it to him with the errors he ceaselessly makes.” He said and you could hear the resentment. “But I cannot be second in my wife’s affections. I know you cannot have the man that you want and we will be wed no matter what our heart’s desires but I will not share my wife with my brother.”

His words may not have been angry but between you both you could feel the waves of resentment for his brother, the man he knew you cared too deeply for the be platonic. The words we will be wed no matter what our hearts desires rung through your mind.

Was their a paramour of your betrothed’s, you wondered.

“Is there someone you wish to wed?” You asked, doing your utmost to sound strong, hoping you did not waver. “Someone else?”

Hu hummed at that, the way Aegon said was annoying, but you knew Aemond. It was contemplative at most. Maybe even something he did not wish to say aloud.

He looked at you, smiled again, though you noted it was a little bit tighter, like he was already holding himself back from being open with you. Holding his arm out, you took it as you both continued your walk through the gardens.  

You did not get an answer of what his affections were and who for that day in the gardens, although you knew, even then, that this went beyond your duty in its complications.

+

taglist: @greinch​ @itsghostgirlyo​ @cullenswife​ @rosaryos​

let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

#aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon ii x you #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x reader #hotd x reader

[jfashion-confessions]

I don't understand the back and forth between Jirai. As a mentally ill adult with BPD as well as other illnesses. I don't understand trying to claim a slur I wouldn't be called as a western who lives IN the west. No one in the west randomly uses that SLUR because its japanese. English speakers still don't jot their english with random Japanese. English speaker would call me: Crazy, lunatic, unhinged, attention seeking, someone they gotta tiptoe around / walk on eggshells around, mental, a "amber heard", a danger like jodi arias. the list goes on and on... I've heard hurtful and dismissive comments about my mental health or even just heard this about others who are mentally ill, because not everyone knows my status. But my point is the "feed back" and dismissive and belittling comments are always in english. I just find when I see younger folks arguing its a slur they like or they wanna reclaim it doesn't sit right with me. We don't get called those things. We get called ENGLISH words. I've never heard it in my life until the subculture became more popular in the west in 2020/2021. And since probably 2023 I've seen it become more popular. But even still I don't *hear* the word enter normal peoples vocab. I also don't really like calling it a lifestyle, because mental health isn't a lifestyle. It's a condition. I don't want to glamorize mental health, it should be seen just like any other health condition. Just like allergies, or physical illness something else. The difference between education and awareness and glamorizing is awareness gives you better understanding of the disorder. Glamourising makes people wish they were disordered or don't want to seek treatment because thats their "thing". We all struggle and have bad days, some stuff will set us off, sometimes stuff is difficult. But thats not "jirai" to struggle. I like the term "dark girly" as someone who's got bpd and psychosis because it also removes my mental health from the fashion. Dark girly addresses the aesthetic, motifits and beautiful (dark and rich) colors I see. Jirai can't be divorced from its original context, or the sex trafficking or other aspects of its shady history and inevitable trauma it's created. I also don't like negative stereotypes being connected with mental health. I can recognise for japanese young women / women this slur has preduices and that culture is not as open with mental health. It's more judgemental, views it as a private affirm. (and yes, as a western I can see the relatable because I had parents who were in this same conservative mindset of we don't share bad things. Don't talk about your suffering, don't talk to a therapist. Stop! But, I'm an adult now & as a western I have more access to getting help, but also being able to openly speak about my issues and find spaces were I can do so without stigma or judgement. I'm not aware if japan has this so much. Culturally speaking I'm an outsider, so my awareness is ignorant.) For reclaiming the slur too, I find it really strange because the west has a lot of different cultures in it, and i'm sure all of them have their own slurs for mentally unwell people and society beliefs with mental health and how its shameful & yet I don't see westerns grabbing those slurs and being like 'you know what! I'm this too, I'm reclaiming all of this." I just feel like Jirai is being claimed by misguided youngsters. But I really wish the back and forth could stop and I realize I'm fueling the debate to. So I'm sorry.

.

#jfashion confessions #jirai kei

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

I used to be a SWERF until January. Now I realise how much harm that caused and I am so sorry for being so ignorant to sex workers who are probably among the most vulnerable women out there (and men and enbies too). Consensual sex work is work and I strongly advocate its legality so we can properly regulate it to be less exploitative.

Thing is when something is legal, it’s easy to control and regulate it. You can see how all the rules that should be in place with drugs and alcohol are blatantly ignored when they’re illegal. Same goes for sex work.

The regulations should be that sex workers get most of the pay they get and any pimps involved should only get part of it since the workers did most of the work although I’m still on the fence with pimping. Obviously you should be 18 years old or over and sex workers should be able to unionise. Denying sexual services should also be allowed.

I think we can view things as contractors or direct hires. If SW were legitimized as a business, SWers wouldn’t need “pimps” (aka traffickers). If they preferred to go legit, then they’re managers or business owners. I have a feeling, just like a “plug” when cannabis was legalized in certain states, they like tax free revenue and the freedom to exploit their “product” without govt oversight. I’d still like to see it legalized or at least decriminalized, for safety reasons. Plus health insurance.

Sex work should indeed be legal, and if you’re interested to learn more about effective policies around it, look into the discourse around decriminalization. (you can take it a step further by listening to sex workers and sw unions who call for decriminalization NOT legalization.) That’s the preferred model for many (if not most) sex workers. It’s a very interesting and important topic.

We all use our bodies for money. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. There is no difference between a tiler using his arms and legs etc to do their job, and a sex worker using their genitals to do their job. Therefore, every sex worker should have the same rights as every other worker - a safe, regulated and respectful work environment with access to all the tools required to do their job safely.

she really came into my inbox thinking she did something. i know the arguments. none of this changes that legal prostitution gives men the right to enforce unwanted sex with women, and increases demand, and consent cant be bought. the issue in many cases is not that women are forced by violence but by financial duress. thats why they dont say no. the issue is the sex buyers who feel entitled to have their sexual fantasies fulfilled. enduring sex is not a profession and making someone endure sex for money is not claiming a service. in actual jobs you dont sell your body, you sell your labour. there‘s more to unpack here but i cant even take someone serious who‘s on the fence about pimping lol. if youre interested to learn more check out #anti prostitution instead of being smug assuming others dont know what we‘re talking about.

#ask #anti prostitution #not the smug ‚if youre interesred to learn more‘ that really got me #not that i was prostituted myself. and wrote a whole ass paper on prostitution

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

BARBIE SPOILERS. if you have not seen it and you don't want spoilers, just skip over this. Unless you would like some prior warning for it. :)

This is honestly the only summery of the Barbie movie I can give without going into a giant rant:

Spoiler: Yes. They pushed both. I just couldn't get the other meme to work.

dang, I have a feeling this is going to garner quite a bit of hate, but as a disclaimer before I go into what I will try to keep a tiny rant-- I understand there are people who did like it and I want to like it, because it's you know, it's Barbie and the old movies were wonderful, but... the movie made itself irredeemable to me.

Yes, it was satire, but it was honestly hard to tell what was satire and what they proclaimed was truth. I hated it. Every moment I spent in the theater I wanted to leave it.

why was how they broke the brainwashing reminding women how mistreated they are? Like. HOW. DOES. THAT. FIX. ANYTHING? was it satisfying for a bit? admittedly yes, the initial rant the mom gave was satisfying.... and then they dragged out the bit and it was just like "what on earth is this?" why is this what unbrainwashes them?

Also, I know people are going to get onto the "well they were white so that explains everything" No. no it does not.

Also everything they brought up they did not go deep into. like Ken being hurt by the Patriarchy too. they spent about five minutes (if that) on it and then were like "yay! problem solved, it's barbie land again." Also mental health. Was handled VERY poorly. it's not a joke. as someone who deals with mental health struggles on the daily I did not appreciate how they presented it.

The "only baby dolls" thing. This should not have made me hate this movie so much because it's (MAYBE???) satire. But still. They have not been the only doll to exist ever.

This movie hated both genders equally but tried to make it seem like they loved women.

Also. I hated the extremes they went to in the real world. Not every man is Evil. there are some that definitely should not be allowed around women or other people yes, but not all of them are evil. And not all women are good either.

No one, the barbie movie: women are so mistreated, woah is us!

Also the barbie movie: eck! we're so powerful we can't stand it!

But mostly, I just hated it because I was promised a happy movie of Barbie having a midlife crisis and Ken coming along for the ride and instead it was like Tik tok. in movie form.

This movie did not make me feel anymore comfortable with my gender. if anything it made me feel worse. I left the theater feeling like I should have been empowered, but I just felt gross. Overall, this is probably the last post I will ever make for this movie because I want it to fade into the background and be ignored. The worst insult I could give this movie is ignoring it's existence entirely.

Does anyone else miss when movies just had strong CHARACTERS instead of it being a strong gender? like it wasn't "LOOK A FEMALE WHO IS A CHARACTER!!!" and "oh, a guy character, gross." Why does it have to be so extreme? Like I appreciate there are more female protagonists out there but I also miss when they weren't all hot headed, arrogant, jerks, and when they were FEMININE. like. what. is wrong. with. being soft??? also I miss smart male protagonists. and male protagonists in general who were good characters not comic relief. (unrelated, but semi related note: I will never forgive the Harry Potter Movies for what they did to Ron to make Hermione smart. Ron is SMART TOO. My boy deserved better!)Like there was a while there where women and men both had equal roles in stories and they were good because they were good characters and now... it's just politics. and I'm sick of it.

I don't know what Barbie was supposed to be but it was not what I wanted to see when I went to see it. I had low expectations, but somehow, it failed them. failed them hard. Honestly, I don't know how anyone likes it, and I'm still to angry at it to look for reasons why people did. Maybe in a few years after my anger at what this movie was actually about subsides.

In conclusion, I finally remembered why I don't go see movies anymore. I want a story, not a message. Barbie provided a message. a very dark undertone that hid under "discover yourself and your role in the world :)"

P.S. If you liked Barbie and wish to tear me to shreds, please remember I was not the target audience, I did not "get it" as those in the target audience did.

#anti barbie movie #anti greta gerwig #barbie #harry potter #ron weasly #hermione granger #harry potter movies #high functioning depression #toxic feminism #toxic masculinity #why does this keep happening??? #There are good movies out there. #just not this one #story telling #barbie movie spoilers #barbie 2023 spoilers #the barbie movie #rant #rant post #im so angry #confused #tired

[jenniferdiazisatransgirl]

I think I’m straight!

Hey,

So mental health is still kinda shit but I want to make this post. It does feel kinda cringy to come out as straight, but at the same time it has taken me a long time to figure out and like I think I finally have figured it out.

For those who’ve followed this blog for a while, you’ll know I’m a trans woman and when it comes to my sexuality I’ve never really had it down. I have had times where I thought I did, but it changes a lot.

For the past few years I have identified as demisexual and I think that comes down to the fact I’ve imagined I can have a relationship with a woman, but there would need to be a strong emotional bond for something more. But when I think about the potential of dating a guy, that need for a strong emotional bond doesn’t seem to be there.

Not sure if that really makes sense, but I guess if and when I imagine being with a woman in a relationship. My brain has to do a lot of extra steps and gymnastics to be like, “Yeah, that feels like it would be right.” Whereas if I imagine being with a man in a relationship, my brain is instantly like, “Yeah, I can see that happening.”

Like feels weird to say, “I don’t need a strong emotional bond with a guy”. Cos that kinda isn’t true in many respects. Like I need to be in a relationship with someone I trust and who I share interests with, etc. But of course, as we all know attraction doesn’t necessarily play by the rules of what would be ideal in a partner. You can find someone initially attractive and then their personality puts you off. And God, does that happen a lot. My one date with a dude and straight dude at that, he confessed that he’d love to meet a WWII NAZI in real life and I’m just like sat at the table in the coffee shop terrified going, “Riiiiight! Make no sudden moves. Just get through this and then never talk to this guy again.” Wasn’t the only red flag with that dude. He seemed to be one of those people who wanted to hear people out just because and it is like, “You don’t need to know the reasoning of what a NAZI is doing to know what they did is awful.”

Sorry, bit of a tangent there.

I have found this difficult to come to terms with though. Like when I was younger and I first remember experiencing any attraction it was to women. Like at 10 years old, I figured out I should be a woman but I also started experiencing attraction to women at the same time.

Someone pointed out yesterday though, that my attraction to women could have likely been envy. And I guess when I look back on it, that was very likely true. I think the huge issue I had between 10 to 16, is testosterone can really muddy the waters on attraction. Especially when you are trying desperately to understand yourself. And like I get confusion in your teen years especially is part of life, but I think testosterone and being a guy when that felt really wrong just caused the wrong kinds of confusion. Like I at least knew since 10 that transition was possible. I didn’t know what it entailed but I knew one day I could be a woman if that was how I really felt. Sadly that did not mean I had an accepting Mum, just that I had one who was honest when I curiously asked, “Mum, can people change sex?” in my clunky 10 year old vocabulary. I asked her that on the bus to my Grandma’s 😂 She said, “Yes.” Probably putting it down to childhood curiosity. I guess it took away some of the confusion. Like at 10 I figured out I should be a girl and I could at least latch onto that, not thinking it was totally impossible. But then there was still envy for my female classmates which my testosterone fuelled brain at the time clearly mistook for attraction.

And when it came to figuring out I like guys, my attraction was dampened for other reasons. Without going into details, events that took place during my childhood made me extremely fearful of men. I remember in primary (elementary) school, having a male supply (substitute) teacher and being utterly terrified of him. And like for a few years, social services was involved in my life, they used to pick me up from school every week. It was usually a woman who came to pick me up, but one week two men came to pick me up. I seriously was terrified as hell and I had it in my head these guys were kidnapping me. When I got to the centre I think I ended up telling my social worker how scared it made me being picked up by two men. Plus I spent a lot of my school years being called “gay” and bullied for being perceived as such. Like any desire to explore my attraction to men was dampened by fear and while weird to say, given the topic of this is me coming out as straight, internalised homophobia.

I mean while from 10 I knew I was a girl, from the outside I was a guy and exploring being a guy who likes guys was not something I wanted to explore. Being perceived as gay never really sat right with me though. Like I readily admit there was some internalised homophobia there, but I also despise misinformation about myself. Like, all I could think is “I’m not gay. I like women.” And I knew my classmates meant gay as in I was a guy who likes guys. And let’s imagine the fact, that they were half correct, I do like guys. I was not a guy who likes guys, I’m a girl who likes guys. But of course, without coming out, exploring my sexuality in any meaningful way at school would have given the wrong impression about me. It would have just backed up that idea I’m gay. Which not bad in anyway, but I didn’t want to be viewed as gay.

And look, I can safely say that was my brain hating misinformation. I kinda got outed at school, but the news didn’t reach everyone. I came out to one guy and he told enough people that by the next day most people at school knew. The news missed a few girls I hung out with though. I was dating a bisexual girl at the time and the reasoning they had assumed for me dating that girl was basically, “You’re a typical guy. Dating a bi girl for a threesome.”

Like I hated that so much and with already so many people in the school knowing I was trans anyway. I was just like, “Okay. Let’s stop this rumour before it even starts. The reason I’m dating a bi girl is cos I’m a girl.”

And that is likely another reason I didn’t explore my sexuality much at that age. When I finally came out as trans in school, I was in a relationship and one that lasted nearly the remainder of my time at school. Also super weird note, but you know that thing where it is said you are more attractive when in a relationship? Despite being outed to the entire school as trans, so many girls were interested in me and clearly expressed it during that time. There was one lass I had to watch out for in the corridors as she’d side swipe me with hugs from a run that made me nearly fall over. That was an interesting time.

If any guys expressed interest for me during that time though, I think it was safe to say I was oblivious to it. I did dance with a guy at my prom, but I feel safe in saying that was platonic. The song was “Mr Brightside” by The Killers though and it is still a memory I look back on fondly. Weirdly enough, the dance was with the guy who outed me. I think I’ve said before, he was hard to stay mad at during the time, as being outed actually caused a lot of bullying to stop for me. It was like my being trans took away a lot of the power my bullies had over me and then I had a girlfriend so calling me gay was a lil weak.

I do remember one of my bullies approaching me one day though and just going, “So all these years we were calling you gay. You’re a lesbian, so we were technically correct.” I think my response was something along the lines of, “Technically, yes.” And thinking internally, how he’d made me miserable along with the rest of my bullies so it was kinda beside the point.

I think I’m just rambling now though. Main take away was my head was filled with a lot of confusion and at times still is. I do think I finally have enough clarity on it all to say I’m straight though.

Enjoy my post!

#my life #trans woman #transgender #miscellaneous

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

As someone who is pretty openly suicidal on here, I gotta say yeah... there's really no help coming

Basically all I ever get is people (even close friends) just saying "you should get some professional help", and it's like... listen mate, I live 50 miles from the nearest place that would have a therapist, and even if it was free the gas is gonna cost a fortune not to mention the time. Either I need help finding an online therapist my insurance covers, or I need you to just leave me alone on this one

Cause the thing is, I'm suicidal every single day, and yet I haven't ever made an attempt, so while it's probably not good for me to be like this, it's clearly not a crisis

Not to mention, I've done therapy for years before I moved out here, and while it certainly helps, it can't just magically fix core problems like isolation

When you're suicidal, everyone's there to tell you to get help, but no one's there to actually help (I think that's true for suicidal women too)

I don't ask for help because no help's coming, and frankly even the times I've explicitly said "I need some help", I get none, so why bother asking?

I'm sure a lot of it boils down to not wanting to make things worse, so you just tell them to see a professional but, I mean it's not easy for me to find the right words when dealing with someone suicidal either, but cause I don't want them to be alone like I am I at the very least try to let people know that I value them, that they matter and make a difference in the world, and to try and keep reinforcing that

I'll be honest, I'm not ever gonna get help when it comes to all the stuff I need help with in person. I have to wrangle all that myself. I have to clean up after my mom who I let stay with me while getting zero help cleaning. I don't see that changing

I also don't really see me ever having anyone particularly like or care about me, or having any company. Oh sure, I'm agreeable enough that people like talking with me on here, but 100% of conversations end up with me supporting the other person and getting no support in return, which is probably my own fault

I really do hope I quit putting hanging myself off, I have everything I need and I've tested it months back and I don't think anything should snap... just keep not getting around to doing what needs to be done

In the mean time though, there's stuff to be done. I work at a tremendously slow pace, far too slow, but still gotta try and get things fixed up around the house for whoever I end up leaving it to once I'm gone

But yeah, you're right. There's no reason to talk about any of this because no help's coming for any of it. If you hadn't brought up people not talking because they don't get help, I wouldn't be talking here either. Frankly the best thing you can do is learn to just keep this kind of stuff to yourself

No help's coming for anyone, which is why it's important to try and help the people around you when you can, even if it's never enough

listen mate, I live 50 miles from the nearest place that would have a therapist, and even if it was free the gas is gonna cost a fortune not to mention the time.

I think this is important to mention. Oftentimes, the discussion revolves around the cost of the therapy itself while people don't always acknowledge things like this. You can't be dismissive of this and I find that some people are in a well-if-you-really-want-it-you'll-find-a-way. That's not always accessible for some people.

When you're suicidal, everyone's there to tell you to get help, but no one's there to actually help (I think that's true for suicidal women too)

I definitely feel that the way mental health help is given needs to change

But yeah, you're right. There's no reason to talk about any of this because no help's coming for any of it.

And not everyone gets this. I keep seeing people say that men need to speak up, but they are. A lot of them are telling you the problem but people don't like to listen. I saw one of those men need to speak up posts on instagram the other day and so many comments were from men repeating the same thing--that people don't listen when they talk about them or it gets used against them

And you wouldn't believe how many people disagreed with them, acting like that doesn't happen

They're literally proving their point

#mens rights #answered asks

[thewitchqueenofharrenhal]

Yeah, I've seen that argument re the princess of dorne. Someone, who constantly defends Rhaegar and R/L once said that the POD was a terrible person for betrothing her daughter to the crown prince because she knew Elia was sickly......which.....??? Correlation here? Elia gave birth to two heirs in a row and probably would have had more kids had Rhaegar not pushed back to back pregnancies on her and let her heal. Which is another thing they defend or never acknowledge.

Mind you, were Rhaella's, Naerys', or Aemma Aryn's parents bad people for marrying their daughters to the crown prince since they ended up producing only one to two children, and in Aemma's case only a daughter? Interesting. Very interesting.

And of course this person is the type to claim that any critique of characters like Dany, Nyra, etc. is misogynistic because the fandom 'doesn't like to see women in power'....but then went on to blame the ruling princess of dorne, the only female ruler in Westeros of her time for, for making smart political moves and *checks notes* having the audacity to betroth her only daughter to the crown prince and have said daughter produce two heirs, including a son. Really makes you think.

A competent, badass female ruler making smart moves....but, you see, she doesn't have silver hair and rides a dragon soo.....

Qwhite interesting. Really makes you think, huh.

Elia is never confirmed to be *too sickly* to be wed and again the implication was she was wedding a man who was reportedly *perfect* , Elia wasn’t underage, and Rhaegar had a mother who struggled in the birthing bed, he was arguably the best match possible for Elia and the expectation was probably that he would *care* for her delicate health. Based on the timeline of Elia’s births we know he doesn’t but she still provides an heir and spare in a very short time.

I actually do think all of their parents were bad people LOL but I get the point that you’re trying to make which is that *those fans* somehow never question the worth of Naerys, Aemma or Rhaella based on the amount of kids they could have it seems like Elia is the only one ever getting that particular level of misogyny thrown at her. Can you imagine that narrative being pushed at Lyanna? Because I can’t. It’s gross. Except not when Elia gets it though no outcrys there from the fandom.

Btw I think Rhaella’s parents were vile because she made it clear she did not wish to wed Aerys and was about what 12/13 when she was wed to him? Neither of those apply to Elia. I think Naerys’s father was vile because she also did not wish to wed Aegon and seemed opposed to incest because of her religion and her wishes were ignored once again does not apply to Elia’s mother and finally Aemma had family on both sides and no one told Viserys not to bed her that young??? Again doesn’t apply to Elia’s family.

Oh that only applies to the silver haired girlies. The girl bossification doesn’t hit the same when you don’t have a shiny silver wig :( lmao but really though?

Constant whining about wanting to see women be badasses but not like Meria Martell because Rhaenys was pretty and good! Who cares she wanted to subjugate you and burned hundreds of innocents alive, You big ugly meanie know your place! But also not like Nettles! The handsome prince can’t fall in love with her! Rhaenyra was his only true love! She wasn’t that cool!

Elia’s mother should have not tried to *rise* too high! She needs to go against her own best interests and that of her family or else she deserves it!

These girlies will never forgive Elia for the crime of being Rhaegar’s only wife and mother of his heirs and that’s because if they can’t self insert. Then those characters are boring, irrelevant, or ugly. *yawn*.

#asoiaf #anon #elia martell

[stirringwinds]

hey, love your art and all your headcanons, I was wondering if you think all the nations smoke a little bit or if most have stopped the habit except from Yao... Like do you think Kirkland, Kiku and Alfred smokes? Idk why I care, but I'm just curious ^^ There are people in my country for example, but not many statistically

hey! glad you like my art. and heh, that's an interesting question. as i see it, most of them today don't smoke as much as they do in the past.

sir lord arthur bloody kirkland: was an addicted serial chainsmoker until after WWII where he got a kick in the arse from the newfound NHS to get healthier in all ways, including cutting back his liquor. it wasn't overnight for sure (a lot of the drop is from the 70s onwards), but i think by the present day, he doesn't smoke as much (which mirrors how much smoking has declined in england). probably still enjoys an expensive cigar now and then, but he is trying to go clean, with nicotine gum and all. universal healthcare is very convincing.

alfred: similar story, i reckon! so many people used to light up— i see him as smoking a fair bit, but being nowhere as much of a chainsmoker as his father—a lot more of a social smoker. like you'd always find him cigarette in hand in the 1940s when chatting with someone. he's also cut back nowadays; i see him as the sort of person who really gets into all kinds of health kicks. now you're more likely to find him guzzling some kind of fancy new bottled water rather than holding a cigarette, lol, because hydration is IN!

kiku: not as big a smoker as 50 years ago too (it was a whopping eighty percent for men at one point) but he does light up a bit more often (the govt owning a huge share of japan tobacco is kind of a conflict of interest in how smoking culture has evolved; cigarettes aren't as pricey as in other countries). japan is one country with a fairly big gender divide re: smoking too with a lot more men doing so then women. i think that like alfred, he's more of a social smoker nowadays though, and he can be fairly disciplined about limiting it personally.

yao: ah. my great grandpa. 100% a lost cause right now. he goes through so many packs of zhonghuas. it's a habit he should kick he knows, but he isn't too fussed right now. it's still far more ingrained in socialising; offering people cigarettes at a social gathering, or as gifts to show appreciation, in a way it's really not so in say, england nowadays. so that's why i see the old man still being a heavy smoker.

#hetalia #hws england #hws china #hws america #hws japan #hetalia headcanons

[stuffeddeer]

https://www.tumblr.com/stuffeddeer/734553783616536576/its-that-lurking-anon-again-please-forgive-me

Omg you answered that😭 I was genuinely worried you'd hate me for sending something so long 😭 I'm sorry about that but your response is great! I love discussing things with people, I hope you didn't mind it! 💖🥺

I definitely do see where you're coming from with him cheating but the reason I think he's less likely to is because as you said, the thing with Oda, he won't want to see someone hurt again, he won't want his love to be hurt again, he wouldn't want to go through that kind of pain again. It's quite obvious Dazai isn't stupid(I hope this doesn't sound like I'm saying you implied he is, I promise it's not like that!! I just realized how it might've sounded after re-reading it) and he's able to predict people around him's actions, he knows the impact certain things will have on the people around him, whether is be good or bad. He's able to know what they might do in certain situations, certain choices they'd make, emotions they'd feel etc and to me this means he'd know very well that whoever his love is, he'd know hurting them to the point where he betrayed them isn't gonna do anything but make them feel how he has in the past. I've researched into relationships where people have been cheated on in the past and many of them who have been so incredibly in love before the cheating, have felt quite literally like their entire life was ending because of this betrayal by their lover. Their pain is excruciating to the point where some may get PTSD symptoms and yes I know that might sound weird but a betrayal that big can be detrimental to someone's mental health. I don't think Dazai would want his lover to go through that kind of pain, Dazai knows the impact of a betrayal cuts deep and I actually think that if Dazai were to get a lover in the first place, that he'd get someone who obviously isn't average in personality, he's definitely go for an eccentric, probably someone like Oda, non judgemental, not much ego, someone who can surprise him even though he's not easily surprised, someone who can teach him new things. Someone he actually can trust and him giving someone his trust is a big feat for him and he'd probably never see himself letting go of this person nor hurting them. He would also probably keep his lover private.

More reasons I don't think Dazai would cheat is because in the past we've seen him break up with many women as Chuuya says "I'll send your address to all the women whose hearts you've broken." But the way I've seen this is in a few situations where him having a girlfriend or a relationship is brought up, he was very transparent when it came to breaking up with the women he was with. An example would be, the bomb that was used in Atsushi's entrance exam being sent to him by his ex girlfriend after she became obsessed with him when they broke up. Dazai talked about being very transparent with her and scolded her saying that it won't work out between them so she should stop with sending him bombs. I see him in relationships that he has no interest in continuing or pursuing, as being transparent and very honest instead of betraying their trust and moving onto someone else while being with them. It's implied a few times that he's had flings and he's the one who stopped it from getting too serious(I think that's another way he shields his heart).

Anyway so sorry if this is too long, I just wanted to clarify why I said I didn't think he'd cheat and believe me this isn't just me having wishful thinking, I enjoy analyzing characters a lot.

And thank you for the well wishes, I wish you well too, I'm doing better so thank you for that💖💖

i totally see the argument of him choosing to break up instead of stringing someone along and cheating on them! that's such an interesting way of viewing dazai, esp with the added reference of him tracking down the couple women he think would have left him a bomb (it was like his fourth call too does he have a type or smth..)

i agree in the sense that instead of cheating, he'd probably just apathetically break up w his date rather than continue to pretend he's interested... i feel like maybe he'd gauge the person he's with and if cheating would ruin them he'd know that and rather shoot them a quick text goodbye before sliding into someone else's bed. i still think he can be a bit sleazy from time to time, especially before joining the ada, though your viewpoint is interesting and appreciated!

andddd all of this delves into his more careless or ruthless nature, but he's probably had his fair share of kind and normal breakups!! i feel like i just spoke so negatively of him lol i love dazai promise <3

#glad to hear you're doing better anon! #🦌anon

[thepro-lifemovement]

hi!! i’ve seen your blog for years, and you seem to be one of the more popular pro-life blogs around. i was wondering if you have any posts about your views on accessibility to contraception/sex ed and how those relate to abortion.

Hello, friend!

My personal views on contraception may differ from others in the pro-life movement. I can say the Pro-Life movement does not advocate prohibiting the use of non-abortive contraceptives. When it comes to birth controls, you have to be careful with ones that are abortifacients. Students for life explains which contraceptives are abortifacients and which aren't:

I agree with SFLA when they say, "Contraception can give women a false sense of security, and condoms and birth control clearly can’t be relied on as fail-proof methods of stopping a pregnancy from occurring." If you read their website I linked above, they have a section on birth control and how it relates to abortion. I also found this scientific article that discusses the possible relationship between abortion and contraception. The author includes other studies that show trends with increased use of contraception in a population and an increase of abortions. Of course this doesn't necessarily mean the two are related.

If you want to see any posts from others in the pro-life movement on contraception, I have it tagged here. I personally believe fertility awareness is very important and there would be less unexpected pregnancies if women were more aware of what their cycle means. I have met so many women in their late 20s who were never taught about what your cervical mucus (vaginal discharge) means, how to tell when you're fertile, or how to track your period. Being able to consistently track your cycle really helps you understand your body and if there's something wrong with your reproductive health.

Our public school sex education fails to teach young women about their cycle and how to track fertility and I think that has lead to a lot of unintended pregnancies, which leads to more abortions. If women could recognize that "hey, my discharge is really stretchy and clear, I am probably ovulating and fertile right now. I have an increased risk of becoming pregnant if I have sex. I should wait." Or "I am very dry today, which means I'm not fertile. I have a very low risk of pregnancy if I have sex," there would be less unintended pregnancies. I think the public school system's sex ed has failed everyone and sets teens up for failure by saying "don't have sex, but if you do, here's a condom." That's basically telling kids, "we expect you to fail." Sex ed should be teaching kids about what to expect in puberty, help them understand their hormones, and teach them about women's cycles. Parents should really be the ones teaching their kids this stuff, especially about sex and contraception, and how to handle their sexual urges and feelings. I don't think schools should be discussing sex with minors.

For posts on birth control, I have it tagged here.

If you ever want to talk to someone about birth control and accessibility to it, @she-is-a-prolife-autist is very pro accessible birth control.

I hope I was able to answer your ask. Let me know if you have any further questions.

-Sarah

#prolife #pro-life #pro life #anti abortion #contraception #birth control #ask #asks #thanks for the ask #bc #fertility awareness