#(I bet they COMBINE! it’ll be so great)

[upat4amwiththemoon]

Protector | part 2

Summary: Be the person you needed as a kid.

Pairing: big sister!Yelena Belova x female!reader, big sister!Natasha Romanoff x teen!female

Warnings: violence, angst, death of a character

Word count: 7746

a/n: The timeline here is obviously different compared to the real MCU, this fic starts after Black Widow and there’s more time between Black Widow and Infinity War. Ideas come from these two asks. I do realize this is similar to Two sides but that’s okay :) read the first part before this!

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore

Natasha will take great care of you.” Yelena reassures as she drives towards the compound. She wasn’t the happiest to leave Y/N behind, but this mission was something she didn’t want her to be part of.

“I don’t need a babysitter, Yelena! I’m 15 and I know very well how to take care of myself.” Y/N looks out the window, pouting she has to be away from Yelena for such a long time. “I’ve done it for my whole life.”

“See, that’s not something we’re going to normalize. Family takes care of each other.”

The word family still makes Y/N feel weird. She isn’t sure how she’s supposed to feel hearing it. She does have some sort of family now, so she should be happy, but at the same time it makes her feel bad. Caring about people always ends badly. No matter what. You can’t win.

Y/N sighs, she knows Yelena won’t change her mind. “Will there be other people.”

“I think so.” Yelena mumbles. That’s also something she wasn’t very excited about. Leaving Y/N with Natasha is okay, but with other unknown people as well is a whole new story. Yelena doesn’t know the Avengers and she doesn’t know how Y/N will be with them. “Nat lives at the compound and I think they fixed things, so no one is a fugitive anymore.”

Y/N hums. “I get to be part of the next mission, yes?”

“Yes, I will keep my promise don’t worry.” She glances at Y/N with a grin. “It’ll be the best mission ever.”

Y/N giggles quietly. “You know every mission we do turns to shit.”

“Hey, language.” Yelena glares at her, while Y/N rolls her eyes. Sometimes Yelena takes the motherly big sister role a bit too seriously. “The next one will be good, I can feel it.”

“I will bet you ten dollars something goes wrong.”

“Deal.” Yelena and Y/N shake their hands at a red light, both having a smile on their face.

“You’ll keep her safe?” Yelena has been standing on the compound’s front door for fifteen minutes already, going over everything Natasha should know about Y/N and making sure she’ll be good.

“I will, Yelena.” Natasha smiles lightly, starting to get annoyed by her sister. She’s holding Y/N’s bag on one hand while the other lays on the younger one’s shoulder. “Nothing bad will happen to her.”

“Good, because if something bad does happen, I will kill you.”

“I know.” Natasha chuckles.

Yelena grumbles at Natasha not taking her threat seriously, so she just turns to Y/N and gives her a tight hug. “I won’t be gone for too long and you can contact me whenever you want to, okay?”

“Okay.” Y/N mumbles to Yelena’s shoulder. She is pressing her head against her, not wanting the involuntary tears to fall. “Be safe.”

“I will.” Yelena kisses her head and backs away from the hug. “Have fun with Natasha!” She starts walking away to her car, waving at the two until the door closes.

Y/N lets out a shaky breath as Natasha starts leading her towards a guest bedroom that’s next to Natasha’s own. “You’ll be sleeping here, is that okay?” Natasha sets Y/N’s bag to the bed.

“Yes, thank you.” Natasha keeps standing around the room quietly while Y/N carefully sits down to the bed. “You don’t have to hover. I know I’m not your sister like Yelena is. Besides, Lena hovers over me more than a family of five combined.” She scoffs with a small smile. She doesn’t hate Yelena’s hovering. It actually makes her feel cared for and safe, but sometimes she takes it too far. Like right now, Y/N would’ve been perfectly capable to go on the mission.

“I’m not doing this just because Yelena asked me to, I genuinely like you and think of you as part of the family.” Natasha sits down next to Y/N. She has a small smile on her face.

“Oh.”

Natasha hums, looking at Y/N’s hands that keep moving. “There won’t be a lot of people around. Wanda is away with Vision, she really wanted to meet you though. And the rest of them are kind of all around.”

“That’s okay. I prefer being around fewer people anyway.”

“So do I.” Natasha stands up, swiping invisible dust off of her hands. “You should rest. You can meet the people who still are here tomorrow. That sound good?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Natasha.”

“Of course.” Natasha gives her a smile before leaving Y/N alone in the room.

Slowly opening her eyes, Y/N looks around the room. The unfamiliarity of it makes her panic momentarily, but she regains her sense of surrounding quickly. The Avengers Compound. She is supposed to be here. She is safe.

Y/N moves the covers aside to stand up. She crosses her arms around her waist, holding herself tightly. She stands in front of the bedroom door, too nervous to actually leave.

At least fifteen minutes pass by. Y/N keeps staring at the door. She isn’t sure which rooms she’s allowed to go, or where the different rooms even are.

Biting her lip, Y/N takes hold of the handle and opens the door. She steps outside. The corridor is almost fully white and full of doors, probably to other bedrooms. She picks a direction and starts walking, her eyes going through everything, especially corners. Old habits die hard.

After a few turns, she starts to hear talking, so she walks towards it. Glancing around a corner, she sees Natasha and an unknown man talking together. With a deep breath, she makes herself known to the pair by walking in.

Natasha turns her way first. “Good morning.”

“Hi.”

The man turns to look at her as well. “Y/N, this is Steve Rogers, the Captain America. Steve, this is Y/N, she was in the Red Room.” She doesn’t mention Yelena or being sisters, Y/N isn’t even sure if Steve knows about it all.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” Steve walks over to her and puts his hand out.

Y/N stares at him. He’s big and looks strong, but Y/N thinks she could take him down if necessary. “Yeah, you too.” She mumbles, shaking his hand for a very short amount.

“I made breakfast.” Natasha shows a plate of waffles.

“She didn’t actually make them, they’re from the freezer.” Steve fake whispers so Natasha could clearly hear him.

She rolls her eyes, setting two plates down to the table. “Don’t you have a run to go to?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve holds up his hands in mock surrender, a smile on his face. “I’m going. Have fun you two.” He walks away.

Natasha gestures towards a chair opposite of her. Y/N walks over to it, sitting down. She stares at the plate full of waffles. There are so much it could feed her and Yelena.

“I wasn’t sure how hungry you are. No need to eat it all.” Natasha smiles quiet sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. “There’s berries and syrup, take whatever you want. Do you want orange juice? Or apple? We also have water, of course.”

Y/N looks at Natasha. She seems nervous, which is different. She didn’t think someone like Natasha Romanoff could get nervous. “Orange.”

“Got it.” Opening the fridge, Natasha pours orange juice to Y/N’s and her own glass, leaving the jug to the table afterwards. She sits down to her own chair. “I hope you like waffles. I didn’t think to ask yesterday what you’d like for breakfast.”

“I like them.”

“Good.”

They start eating in silence. Y/N takes small pieces at a time, keeping her eyes on the food, while Natasha keeps glancing at her direction. She analyses her face every time, looking for any sign of uncomfortableness or dislike, but she doesn’t see any. Although, Natasha isn’t surprised, Widows are good at keeping their emotions in check.

“You and Yelena have been freeing the other Widows?”

“Yes.”

“It’s going well?”

“Mhm.” Y/N nods, chewing on her food.

Natasha taps the fork with her finger. She isn’t sure how to keep the conversation going with the teenager, or how to overall get more than one word answers.

“What will you do after all the Widows have been freed?”

Y/N shrugs, moving pieces of the waffle around with her fork. “I don’t know. I don’t really know what I’m good at besides killing.”

“That’s what I thought too, but I figured it out. So will you.” Natasha offers her a gentle smile.

“Don’t you still do it?”

“Huh?”

“Killing. Don’t you still kill people? You’re just on the other side now.” Y/N stares at Natasha who struggles to provide an answer. “You would’ve been killed if you weren’t recruited to Shield, yes? So I either have to become an Avenger or a mercenary. And I’m not becoming an Avenger, so I’ll be a paid killer until someone kills me.”

“Well- no.” Natasha looks at Y/N, who has very monotone look on her face. She doesn’t understand how Yelena makes it look so easy. She interacts with Y/N with ease and makes her feel better with just few words.

“It’s okay. I’m just trying to be realistic.”

“Right.” Natasha pushes the empty plate to the side. “Listen, I’m not good at this.” She gestures between the two of them. “Teenagers aren’t my forte, and you aren’t even a normal teenager. Yelena somehow makes it look so easy.” She chuckles. “But I really do want to get close to you, okay?”

Y/N nods, she looks down to hide a small smile. “It’s not easy.”

“Hm?”

“With Yelena.” Y/N turns to look at Natasha. “It’s not easy with her. We fight a lot and disagree on many things. We’re somehow exactly the same and complete opposites, so everything is just a…shit show.”

“Language.” Natasha mumbles with a smirk. Y/N scoffs, smiling at herself. “Yelena can be headstrong and idiotic at times, but she is great.”

“She is.” Y/N frowns. “I don’t think I could do anything without her. She’s the reason I’m sane.”

Standing up, Natasha walks over to Y/N’s side and hugs her. “I know she couldn’t be without you either. And you’ll see her soon. Until then,” Natasha pushes her to arms length, holding onto her shoulders, “we’ll have fun, okay?”

“Okay.” Y/N giggles

“I told you I’d take you to the next mission.” Yelena whispers as she, Y/N and Sonya, a third Widow sneak around the huge house. Y/N only shushes her, making Yelena shush her back in annoyance.

They all freeze when the target, Ana, another Widow, steps in front of them. Yelena and her start fighting, while Y/N fishes out a vial of the antidote. “Yelena!” She shouts, throwing the vial towards her.

Yelena grabs it and releases it in front of the woman’s face. “The next bit is going to be really scary, but we are here to help you.”

The woman scrambles up from under Yelena. She stares at the big red spot on her carpet. “Look what you did to my rug. 20 000 dollars down the drain, thanks.” Y/N frowns, she sure didn’t think that’d be the first thing on her mind after being freed from mind control.

“Excuse me?” Yelena looks just as confused.

“I don’t think she was brainwashed.” Sonya chimes in.

“What, you thought I was some rich pervert’s prisoner?” She stares at all three of them.

“Well, yeah, kind of.”

“Wait, this is your house? How can you afford all of this?”

“By doing the thing we’re all best at. Killing for money.”

Y/N sighs at the sentence. No matter how hard she tries to get away from it, everything just keeps reminding her of the purpose she was made to do. Kill people.

The four of them go to sit in the living room and talk in a more civilized manner. Y/N keeps mostly to herself while the three adults talk about the freed Widows.

“Yelena, how is your other sister doing?”

“She’s doing okay.” Yelena smiles lightly.

“Good.”

“Yeah, she’s good.”

“And then, you and Natasha will be reunited and go live your Sex and the City fantasy in New York.” Sonya giggles, missing the solemn look on Y/N’s face. She and Yelena always did want to go to New York, but it doesn’t look like she’s involved in the plan.

Yelena hums. “Excuse me.” She stands up and walks away from the trio.

Y/N sighs, sinking to the chair. She looks around the apartment. It would be very luxurious to live in a place like this, but she doesn’t want to kill people anymore. There has to be something else she’s good at.

Ana turns on the television to pass time. The sound of it is all smushed to Y/N as she thinks about her future. “I’m gonna go see what’s taking Yelena so long.” She mumbles, standing up and walking towards the bathroom Yelena went into. She knocks on the door and waits. Nothing. “Yelena?” Knocking again, louder than before, she starts to feel worry bubble in her stomach. “I’m coming in.”

Y/N opens the door, but the room is empty. With a frown, she starts looking inside the rooms close by. They’re all empty. Starting to get panicky, Y/N goes back to the living room.

“I can’t find Yelena.”

“Y/N.” Sonya has a horrified look on her face as she turns to look at her, but Y/N pays no mind.

“Are there any other rooms she could’ve went into in this giant house of yours?” Ana’s face is glued to the television. “Hello?”

“Y/N.” Sonya grabs her arm.

“What?”

Sonya turns her towards the television. “Listen.”

The News channel is on. It’s showing chaos all over the city. Cars crashing into each other, a helicopter falling down, people disappearing. “It seems like people are randomly turning into dust and disappearing. No one knows why this is happening or where the people are going. We’ll conti-“

The news anchor continues to talk, but Y/N doesn’t hear it anymore. People are disappearing. “No.” She mumbles, shaking her head. “She didn’t turn into dust, she’s here somewhere.”

“Y/N…” Sonya sets her hand on Y/N’s shoulder, but she brushes it away instantly.

“No!” Her breathing picks up as she continues to shake her head. “No. This is some cruel joke. This isn’t real. Yelena!” She shouts, starting to walk towards a hallway, but Sonya stops here.

“She isn’t here.”

“No!” She tries to pull away, but Sonya wraps her arms around Y/N. “Let go of me!” She starts wriggling around, but the older Widow doesn’t let go.

“Let it out. Let it out.”

“Stop it! She can’t be gone.” Y/N sobs, slowly losing her fight. “She can’t be gone.” She drops to her knees, crying, while Sonya continues holding her.

The phones have been ringing for a half an hour already, but Y/N has no energy to pick it up. She just stares at Yelena’s bed. It’s empty. It shouldn’t be empty. Her eyes have already dried, she doesn’t think she could physically cry anymore.

Yelena’s phone rings. She didn’t have it with her on the mission. She doesn’t dare to pick it up. Yelena always said: ”Keep your hands off of it! You have your own phone.”. The phone stops ringing.

After a minute, Y/N’s own phone starts ringing. Finally she answers it. “What?” Her voice cracks from all the crying and screaming she did earlier. She doesn’t even remember how she got to the house, all she knows she was sobbing her heart out.

“Why the hell haven’t you and Yelena been answering your phones?” Natasha’s loud and angry voice comes through the speaker. Y/N knows she’s only worried. “You can’t do that! I was so fucking scared.” She hears Natasha take a deep breath. “Are you two okay? Can I talk to Yelena?”

“Yelena isn’t here.”

There’s a long silence on the other side of the phone. It almost sounds like Natasha hung up, but the occasional shaky breath lets Y/N knows she’s still there. “Where is she?”

“She’s not here.” Y/N repeats.

“You already said that.” Her voice gets louder again. “Where is she?”

“Not here.”

“Y/N!”

Y/N’s hold of the phone tightens momentarily. “I don’t know. I guess she’s with the other half of the world.”

“No… No, no, she can’t.” Natasha mumbles. She sounds worried. There’s a pause. Y/N can hear her pacing. “Where are you?”

“At our house.”

“Okay.” Natasha clears her throat. “Okay, you should come to the compound. Yelena wouldn’t want you to live alone. We’ll fix this, I promise.”

“Okay.”

For a moment, Y/N actually believes her.

The first year of the blip, Y/N stays in the Avengers compound. She finally meets the rest of the team, or the ones that are left. She doesn’t like them. Why do they get to be here but Yelena doesn’t. It’s not fair. Yelena should be here. She’s glad most of them have already left. Y/N doesn’t think she could have spent longer with them. They’re pathetic.

For the first few months she didn’t speak any more than she had to. She stayed in the guest room assigned to her and ignored everyone. When someone talked to her, she’d mostly nod and hum. Although, sometimes she couldn’t even do that. She’d just stare into the abyss.

Then she started to get angry. When Natasha tried to talk to her, Y/N would shut her off completely. Yelling, slamming doors, throwing things, anything to shut her up. It didn’t work, at first, Natasha would keep coming back. She made a promise to Yelena after all, she’d keep Y/N safe. But after a while, she stopped trying as much.

Y/N started to resent everyone and everything. She hated the feeling of uselessness. The survivors. The ones who started to forget and move on. The Avengers. Natasha. Yelena.

There’s a knock on her door. Y/N puts down her phone. She’s been on it a lot these days. She goes to open the door. “What?”

Natasha holds a plate of food on her hand. “You haven’t come out of your room for days. You have to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.” Y/N starts closing the door, but Natasha stick her foot in between.

“I don’t care. You’ll eat.” Natasha welcomes herself in the room. It’s tidy. It’s always been tidy. Y/N is still accustomed to order and organization. It’s also empty. Y/N never wanted to get anything extra to her room. Because this isn’t her home. Her home is where Yelena is. “It’s just scraps from yesterday. I can’t cook, you know that, and Steve isn’t here today.”

“Right.”

Natasha gives the plate to Y/N, sitting next to her. “How are you?”

“Perfect, obviously.” She holds onto the plate, but doesn’t eat.

“Y/N.” Natasha sighs. She rubs her forehead. “I know this is difficult to you, I understand. But y-“

“No!” Y/N pushes the plate back to Natasha as she stands up. “You don’t know. You don’t understand!” She laughs, her eyes wide. She’s hollow. There’s nothing in her voice or eyes. “You have your second family or whatever you call them. All I had was Yelena. She was my family!”

Natasha sets the plate down to a side table, grabbing Y/N’s hands. “I know. And I promise you that we will get her back.”

“Don’t you dare promise me things you don’t even believe in.” Her words come out like a bite. Sharp. Cold. Rough.

“I do believe we can get everyo-“

Y/N pulls herself away from Natasha. “Oh shut up! We both know you can’t do anything alone. And everyone else has already given up.”

Both of them turn quiet. They stare at each other. Y/N’s chest is rising up and down as she breathes heavily.

“I want to leave.”

“You know where the door is.” Natasha mumbles.

Y/N clenches her jaw. It hurt. She knows she’ll regret leaving, so does Natasha letting her leave, but both of their judgments are clouded by emotions.

Y/N packs the few things she has and strides out the door, bumping into Natasha on the way. Natasha spends the night in Y/N’s room, crying.

The next four years go by rather quickly. Y/N doesn’t let herself have any free time to think or feel. She just works and then works some more. She was grateful to have a lot of work. People became angry and violent during the blip. They wanted other people dead. And Y/N was there to grant their wish. It also paid well.

Still, Y/N never moved out of her and Yelena’s old apartment. She never even changed anything in it. She wanted to keep Yelena’s side clean and pristine for her return. If she ever does return.

She cleans her knives from the blood that’s coating them. She always has preferred them over guns, even though the gun collection she has is big. The only sound in the house is coming from the television. The News channel is on.

Y/N throws a clean knife to her bag and picks up the next one. She stares at it. It’s Yelena’s. It has blood on it. It doesn’t feel right. Taking a wet cloth, she starts scrubbing it furiously, gritting her teeth together while doing it.

“Shit!” She drops the knife. Her palm is bleeding. “Motherfucker.” Mumbling, she goes to pick up the first aid kit.

While she bandages her hand, her attention turns to the television. The news anchor is speaking quite frantically.

Y/N ups the volume. ”We’ve just gotten new information from the fight against Thanos. Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff are confirmed dead.��� Her whole body freezes. “But their sacrifice has brought back the half we lost during blip. Thank you for your heroism Ave-*

Y/N screams, throwing a knife straight to the television screen. Her breathing picks up quickly. She has to kneel down so she wouldn’t fall down. One of her hands is on the door while the other is pressing against her chest.

Natasha is dead. They’re back. Natasha is dead. They’re back.

The words circle through her brain. She starts feeling sick. Natasha tried calling her few times. Y/N didn’t answer. Then she texted how they’ll save Yelena. Y/N didn’t answer that one either. She didn’t believe her.

Running to the bathroom, Y/N kneels in front of the toiler just in time before vomiting. She coughs. It feels impossible to breathe. There isn’t enough air. The walls are closing in.

There’s a harsh knock on the door.

Y/N freezes. The knocking doesn’t stop. She flushes the toilet and washes her mouth with water. It’s all going in slow motion for her. The walk to the front door feels so long. A shaky breath leaves her mouth when her hand touches the handle.

She opens the door.

“No.” Her voice is quiet, but she sounds and looks just the same as five years ago. Y/N on the other hand, she almost looks unrecognizable to her. Of course she’d always recognize her little sister no matter what. But she’s so…adult like. “You didn’t disappear.”

Y/N shakes her head. She isn’t sure if her voice even works.

“You were alone, for five years.”

“I was.” She croaks out.

“You are an adult now.”

“I am.”

Yelena pulls her into a bone crushing hug. Y/N can’t do it back, so she just stands there. After a while Yelena pulls back to properly look at her. Her hand traces through every feature. Y/N’s face is rougher now, there’s a ragged scar near her left eye. It hasn’t healed properly. Yelena’s thumb caresses it. All that’s running through her mind is how she wasn’t there to protect her.

“You still owe me that ten dollars.” Y/N whispers.

“What?” Yelena’s gaze turns from the scar to her eyes. She instantly frowns. They look so cold compared to when she was a kid.

“You owe me ten dollars, from the mission. I told you it’d turn to shit.”

“Language.”

“You can’t say that to me anymore.”

“Yes I can.” Yelena laughs. It’s airy and sad. “I’m still your big sister.”

The words make Y/N frown. Yelena doesn’t have a big sister anymore. “Natasha is dead.”

“I know.”

“She saved you.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t believe her.” She whispers. “She promised to bring you back, but I didn’t believe her.”

“It’s okay. She knows you didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

Y/N scoffs, walking further in the house. Yelena follows her after closing the front door. Her brows scrunch when she notices the broken television, knives and bloodied papers near the aid kit. Only now she realizes Y/N’s hand is bandaged.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“This is not nothing.”

“Just leave it, Yelena.” She snaps. Y/N groans, rubbing her head. She doesn’t want to get angry at Yelena, especially not right now. She just got back. “Nothing happened.” She rips the knife out of her television. It definitely won’t work anymore.

Yelena sighs, deciding to change the subject. “What have you done during the five years?”

“I was at the Avengers compound for the first year, then I left.”

“And then?”

“You don’t want to know.” Yelena raises a brow. Y/N groans, rolling her eyes. “I…killed people, for money.”

Yelena purses her lips together. She’s mad, obviously. She didn’t want Y/N to live this kind of life, but at the same time, she would’ve done the same. “Okay. Who do you work for?”

“Different people. Whoever needs me.”

Humming, Yelena looks around the apartment. It looks exactly the same. It’s comforting to see that at least something is the same. “Does your current boss need another employee?”

Y/N slams the car door closed, watching as Fanny runs right past her. She walks behind Yelena. The whole car ride there was quiet, Y/N didn’t know what to say, if she even should say anything. She doubts there’s anything that’d help the grief Yelena is feeling. And she’s mourning too, though at times she wonders if she’s allowed to. Anytime those feelings come, though, Yelena seems to be there to remind it’s okay for her to be sad.

Yelena cleans up the grave, while Y/N kneels in front of it. She isn’t sure if her legs would hold her.

Natasha Romanoff

Daughter Sister Avenger

Yelena presses her head against the side of the grave. Whistling to it and then pausing, hoping that maybe, just maybe, someone would answer.

She stands and helps Y/N up as well. They stare at the gravestone in silence, until the sound of blowing a nose disturbs them. Turning to look at the person, they see Valentina.

“Wow, sorry.” She sniffles. “I’m allergic to the Midwest. What this woman did, honestly, I can’t even imagine.”

“You’re not supposed to be bothering us on out holiday time, Valentina.” Yelena comments, refusing to look at her.

“Oh, bothering you? Oh, no, no. I’m just here paying my respects.”

Yelena hums, not believing a word that comes out of her mouth. “You know, coming here makes you look desperate.” They laugh, but Yelena turns serious very quickly. “We want a raise.”

“Oh, yeah. You and me both. Believe me, you’re gonna earn it.” Valentina takes out a tablet. “I’ve got your next target. Thought I’d hand-deliver it. Maybe you two would like a shot at the man responsible for your sister’s death.” Yelena takes the tablet, showing it to Y/N as well. “Kind of a cutie, don’t you think?”

Y/N stares at the picture. Clint Barton, an Avenger, the one Natasha was stuck in Budapest with. She turns to look at Yelena, who has mostly a emotionless look on her face, but she can see the fury deep within.

Here they go again.

Y/N stares at her phone while Yelena is changing out of the uncomfortable suit. They’re in New York, staying in a fancy apartment Yelena got for them. She has always been the one who thrives in fashion.

’We have a plan, Y/N. We’ll save Yelena and everyone else. You don’t have to be alone anymore. Just like I promised.’

It’s the last text Natasha sent to her. The one she didn’t answer to. Natasha died thinking she’s still mad at her, when truthfully, she never was. Y/N shouldn’t have left. Maybe Natasha would be still alive if she stayed.

“Aren’t you going to change out of that?” Yelena stares at Y/N.

Glancing down at her own suit, Y/N shrugs. She doesn’t have the energy to move. Her side hurts. She’s pretty sure the other woman sliced her with a knife, but Yelena never noticed, so Y/N will keep quiet about. She’d worry too much.

“Are you hurt?”

“No.” She sighs. “Just tired.”

Yelena hums. “I think I lost my mask in there.” Clint pulled it off in the middle of the fight. It never looked practical to Y/N.

“Do you want to go get it?”

“No, I’ll get a new one.” Yelena keeps staring at Y/N, whose eyes are still glued to her phone. She’s reading the text over and over again, as if magically Natasha would text her again and she could apologize. “I think we should visit Kate Bishop later.”

“Okay.”

“You’ve been very distant recently.”

Y/N puts down her phone to look at Yelena. “I don’t know what you mean.” She presses her hand against the wound to slow down the bleeding, hiding the grimaces of pain.

“You don’t talk, you don’t want to do anything but work.” Yelena walks closer. “I’m worried.”

”There’s no need to worry.” Y/N mumbles. She sighs, combing her hand through her hair. Standing up, she starts organizing the things around their apartment. She wanted to keep everything neat and Yelena is more messy than her. It was also way to escape her thoughts.

“You’ve changed.” Yelena states. Her voice is full of worry, but she tries not to show it too much.

“You don’t get it, Yelena.” Y/N’s voice is desperate as she moves her hands around. “Of course I’m different. It’s been five fucking years!”

“Language, please.”

“Stop acting like you’re still my overprotective older sister. I don’t need that anymore.” She starts pacing around her spot, rubbing her forehead. Her head is starting to get cloudy. She can’t get her thoughts straight.

“You don’t just magically stop needing your big sister!” Yelena frowns. “Which is why I’ll al-“

Y/N throws an empty glass to the wall. “Oh shut up!” Yelena doesn’t flinch from the burst of anger.

“Throwing things isn’t going to solve anything.” Yelena takes a few steps forward. She can see the struggle in Y/N’s eyes. “You talk to me when you feel angry. You tell me what’s going on in your mind. You come to me. Because you still need me.” She grabs Y/N’s hands, tightening her hold when she stats pulling away.

Y/N grunts, getting increasingly frustrated by Yelena, who pulls her even closer and closer. “Stop.” She mumbles.

Yelena wraps her arms fully around Y/N, locking her arms under them. Slowly, Y/N starts breaking down. Her tears fill with tears and they fall down her cheeks. Yelena shushes her as she starts sobbing, whispering sweet nothing into her ear. “We’re going to be okay.” She lifts up her hand when she feels something wet. Blood. “Lets get this cleaned up.”

Kate is sitting right in front of them. Yelena is talking with her while eating mac and cheese. Most of the conversation has gone past Y/N, she doesn’t have any energy to listen.

Her head is still a mess, somehow she can’t clear it as well as before. Maybe it has something to do with Yelena being back, or Natasha dying, Y/N doesn’t know.

Kate’s eyes keep glancing at her. She isn’t sure if it’s because of how quiet she is being or how roughly she fought at the rooftop. Her fighting style has changed, though it still involves knives and combat, but she’s more brutal, more calculating. It has helped her a lot at being a mercenary. She learned to detach her feelings from the job, which just made her better.

“No. Our sister saved the world. Natasha Romanoff, she saved the world.” The sentence brings Y/N back down to Earth.

Sister. She isn’t sure if she even knows what the word means anymore.

“You’re really Natasha’s sisters?”

“Yes.”

“No.” Y/N mumbles, speaking for the first time since they arrived to Kate’s old apartment.

Both Kate and Yelena turn to look at her, the latter having a questioning look on her face. “What?”

“She’s not my sister.” Her voice is quiet and her eyes are stuck on the table. “She’s not.” Standing up, Y/N leaves the apartment alone.

Yelena doesn’t come of call after her, she isn’t done with Kate Bishop yet. She also knows she wouldn’t get anything out of Y/N when she’s being so distant.

Y/N walks through the streets of New York until she’s far away from people. After a few seconds of utter silence, she lets out a loud, bloodcurdling scream. She screams until she doesn’t have any air left. Holding onto her stomach, she takes deep breaths.

She couldn’t call Natasha her sister with good conscience anymore. Not after what she did, or didn’t do. It’s her fault she died. Maybe if she stayed at the compound she could’ve taken her place. She didn’t deserve to die. She had people who needed her, like Yelena.

“She’s dead.” She mumbles, closing her eyes. “She’s dead and I killed her.” Blowing air out of her mouth, she relaxes. It helps her, in some sick sense. She’ll spend a lot of time saying things out loud, to remind her what’s real. It clears her head, because sometimes things get mixed up.

After spending three more hours on the one spot, Y/N finally starts walking again. She’s going slowly, staring at her surroundings. She hasn’t really spent any free time exploring the city like Yelena. Not that she had any free time. When Yelena went to see the tourist spots, Y/N did side jobs. She hasn’t told Yelena about it.

The lights are beautiful during the night. She looks up at the buildings. The mist from her breath comes to her field of vision every time she breathes out.

She stops in the middle of an empty street, taking in the cold. She always hated it after the Red Room, but now she misses it. The slight pain from being out in the cold for too long feels like an embrace.

With one last deep breath of the fresh air, she starts walking towards the apartment her and Yelena are staying at. She doesn’t say anything when she comes in, neither does Yelena. She’s grateful for that. At times Y/N hopes Yelena has given up on her like Natasha did. That she’d let her walk out of the door without stopping her, and her every action brings her closer to it.

Yelena and Y/N split right away as they enter the huge Christmas party. They’re looking for Clint, both of them wanting to get the mission over, especially Y/N. It’s too close to Natasha.

Y/N rolls her eyes when the sniper starts shooting. Of course nothing ever goes their way. She follows Yelena to go after Clint, but they lose him momentarily in the midst of chaos and darkness. However, they find a hallway leading to the elevators Clint is in.

As they wait for one, Kate walks up to them. “So, I know you’re chummy with my mom, but I gotta say, I didn’t think you’d make the cut for the Christmas party.”

“Kate Bishop.” Yelena smiles, making Y/N rolls her eyes. She gets too sidetracked in her opinion. “We’re not here to ruin anything. We’re just going to kill Barton, have some appetizers, and then we’ll go.”

“I hope you enjoy the bruschetta, ‘cause it looks like you already lost him.”

“He’s in the elevator.”

“Yeah, what, out of 65 floors, you think you’re just gonna magically guess which one he’s on?”

One of the elevators dings. “Twelfth floor.”

“Damn it.” Kate mumbles.

“Can you two shut up.” Y/N grumbles, staring at the other elevator’s numbers to will them to go faster.

Yelena shakes her head with a sigh before grinning at Kate. “She’s a bit grumpy.” The elevator opens. “Enjoy the party.” The two assassins get in, Yelena stopping Kate from entering. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work as she slips in right before the door closes.

The three of them stand there in silence. At least for a while. Kate decides to disturb it by trying to push all the elevator buttons, multiple times, which Yelena stops every time. Until the third time when Kate slaps her. Y/N actually snorts at it.

As the elevator door opens at the next floor, Y/N and Yelena run out of it, the latter cursing Kate and throwing her jacket at her. Kate runs right after them.

She catches up to them in the middle of some offices. They fight, though not with their full strength. Y/N isn’t opposed to leaving casualties behind, but right now she just wants to get past her.

Kate blocks the doorway forward. “What are we doin’?” She smiles widely. “I mean, it’s Christmas Eve. Let’s grab a drink, huh?”

Yelena nods. “Okay. Yeah. Sure. After we kill Barton.”

“No. No, that’s not what- Come on. You don’t need to-“

Y/N huffs, getting tired to the stalling. “Get out of my way.” She slams herself against Kate, making her fly out of her position. She holds a foot over her chest. “And stay out of it.” Irritated, she jogs away from Kate, who gets up quickly to continue fighting with Yelena.

They finally get to the window, but right when Yelena is about to use her baton, Kate throws an object straight to her hand. “Ow! That really hurts!” Yelena throws her hands around, grimacing in pain.

“Yeah. Yeah, well so did the kick in the ribs.”

“Oh, yeah. That was a good one. That was good form.” Y/N rolls her eyes at the conversation going on. “But you did the really cool body throw.” Yelena motions the throw with her hands.

“Yeah, thank you. Thank you.” Kate purses her lips. “Stop making me like you.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”

“Oh my god.” Y/N groans, throwing out the wire and jumping out of the window.

Yelena stares at the now empty window. “She’s not one to make friends.” She shrugs at Kate. “That was really fun. Bye.” Jumping out of the window, she takes out her gun and starts shooting at Clint with Y/N. Unfortunately for them, they miss their shots. On the ground, they run to hiding.

They attack Clint again on the ice, Yelena body throwing him to the ground. Clint lays on the ground as Y/N and Yelena stand near him. “Before I kill you, I need to ask you one question.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Yelena and Y/N.”

“I need to know what happened.”

Clint sits up, taking ragged breaths. “Look, Yelena, if I told you what really happened, you’d never believe me. But what you need to know is your sister sacrificed herself, and she saved the world. I’m sorry.” He glances at Y/N, who is intensely staring him down.

Shaking her head, Yelena frowns. “You’re lying. You’re pathetic. You’re so pathetic.” She kicks him down and starts fighting him.

Clint holds Yelena on her place. “Nobody killed her. She made a choice.”

Y/N’s body freezes as she stares at the fighting going on. She knows Clint is lying. She’s the reason Natasha is dead, whether he knows it or not. It’s her fault.

“You’re not listening to me. She sacrificed herself, understand?” Clint holds Yelena on a chokehold, while Yelena looks like she’s about to cry. “I couldn’t stop her.”

Y/N just stares at the fight. Her eyes are glasses over. It’s like she can’t move. Like she’s in the middle of a nightmare that she can’t wake up from. She supposes it is in a way. Just the other way around. Sleep is her escape, but she can’t sleep forever. She has to live day after day in her forever nightmare.

The fight flashes before her eyes. Suddenly Yelena has Clint overpowered. “You should’ve fought harder.” Yelena takes out her baton, nearing Clint as she starts beating him until he can barely hold himself up.

That’s when Yelena drops the baton and takes out her gun, aiming at him. Clint whistles. It makes goosebumps appear on Y/N’s skin, and Yelena stops moving.

“How do you know that?”

“Your secret whistle with Nat. She talked about you all the time, Yelena. She told me about how you got separated as kids. She was flying that plane.” Y/N knows the story. It’s one of the first memories Yelena told her about Natasha. “I asked her if she was scared. All she could think about is that you were safe. That never changed, Yelena. She loved you. And always wanted you safe. Both of you.” He turns to look at Y/N.

“No.” She mumbles.

Natasha told Clint all about Y/N. How the first year of the blip they were together and how regretful Natasha felt after letting her leave. “She was never mad at you.”

“Stop it.”

“She forgave you right away.” Every word he speaks, the more Y/N hurts. “All she wanted was to have you back with her, so she could keep you safe. Like she had promised Yelena.”

Y/N shakes her head. All the thoughts in her head are getting too much.

“She loved you.”

“No!” The change happens in a split second. She takes out two knives, starting to fight Clint who can barely dodge her. Her moves are rough and all over the place. She isn’t calculating all of her moves like usually, now it’s pure emotion and brute force. “She’s dead!” Her yell echoes through the area. Clint is getting littered with cuts while Yelena stands on her place, too stunned to move. “She’s dead! And it’s…it’s-“

Clint gets holds of Y/N’s hands, holding them tightly so she couldn’t move them. She fights against him, but eventually drops down to her knees.

“It’s my fault.” She whispers. ”I killed her.” Dropping the knives from her hands, she stops fighting. Yelena frowns from the sidelines, she didn’t know Y/N thought like that. ”I never answered her. I could’ve stopped her, I could’ve helped.” She mutters.

“You couldn’t have. She made her decision.”

Y/N glares at him, ripping her arms off of Clint’s grip. She stands up and walks away, pulling away from Yelena’s touch as she walks past her.

She continues walking until her legs physically can’t carry her anymore. There’s a small bridge right in front of her, so she goes to sit down on the railing. No one is going through it, giving Y/N a chance to be alone. Her nails are digging deep into her palms and her teeth are clenched together, causing a constant headache.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Yelena’s voice breaks the quiet atmosphere. “Natasha’s death wasn’t your fault.” She says it again to make sure Y/N hears her.

“I didn’t answer her.”

“What do you mean?”

“She tried to call me and sent me a text before she died, saying she’d bring you back. I didn’t answer. I was angry at her.”

Yelena leans against the railing while staring at Y/N. “It’s still not your fault.” She sets her hand on Y/N’s back. “I should’ve been there for you, raising and protecting you. You shouldn’t have been alone.” Yelena huffs, frustrated at the whole situation. “I should’ve protected you.”

“Well you didn’t, did you?” Y/N turns around, dropping down from the railing to stand in front of Yelena. “You weren’t there to keep me safe or comfort me, and that’s shitty, but you can’t do anything to change it. So, just stop it.”

Yelena purses her lips together. She knows Y/N is right. In a way, they can probably never get back to the way they were. Y/N is an adult now. She was all alone for years and that changed her for the rest of her life.

“I don’t need a protector anymore. I don’t need you anymore.”

Swallowing, Yelena frowns. The words hurt to hear. Because she still needs Y/N. “Family never stops needing each other.”

“This family broke a long time ago.” Y/N whispers. “I know it was only few seconds to you, but to me it was five years. And during those years I grew up, it’s time for me to move on. You should do the same.”

“No. I don’t want to.” Yelena shakes her head, stepping closer to Y/N. “I’m not leaving you alone again.”

“You aren’t leaving me, Yelena. I’m walking away.” Y/N clears her throat so her sound wouldn’t waver so much. “Thanks for giving me a family, even if it was only for a short while.” She nods and turns around.

“No, Y/N.” Yelena’s eyes turn glassy as she stares at Y/N’s back. “I forbid you from walking away from me!”

“You can’t do that anymore.” Y/N shouts out with a sad smile, not stopping, not looking back.

Yelena keeps standing on her place, just watching as Y/N moves further and further away. She doesn’t follow her.

She can’t do that anymore.

#marvel #mcu #mcu imagine #marvel imagine #mcu fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x yelena belova #the black widow #black widow #platonic yelena belova #yelena belova x sister!reader #yelena belova x female reader #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova #yelena belova x teen!reader #steve rogers #kate bishop #clint barton #angst

[slusheeduck]

Fictober 2023 Day 10 - Prompt: "Honestly, why would I care?" Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

“Well, there’s not much by way of food. Or supplies. Or weaponry. Or alcohol,” Wyll said as he and Astarion rummaged through the wrecked house’s library. “But we do have a lot of books. Gale will be thrilled.”

“Yes, and a fat lot of good it does the rest of us,” Astarion grumbled. “Maybe one of these is a secret lever, and we’ll get a door that leads to a fantastic wine cellar. Oh, or a torture chamber!”

“Maybe sound a bit less excited about that.” Wyll sighed. “Then again, given what we’ve seen so far, a torture chamber’s the more likely option.”

He did start tugging at book corners, waiting to feel one catch. There really were an obscene amount of books here. Beside him, Astarion delicately ran his fingertips over the spines, no doubt searching for a trap.

“The Importance of Impotence: Finding Pride In Childlessness, Query in the Quarry, An Owlbear’s Guide To Life…whoever lived here certainly had some strange tastes. Are you reading these titles?” Wyll asked.

Astarion clicked his tongue irritably as he stooped down. “Honestly, why would I care? Don’t make small talk, Wyll, it doesn’t suit you.”

Wyll shook his head. Well, he tried being nice—suppose being a monster hunter didn’t make one very popular with the monsters themselves. He resumed looking over the books, then paused. It couldn’t be. Could it? Here? Carefully, he pulled one book out.

“Oh my gods,” he murmured. “They have the new Drizzt Do’Urden biography.”

“Drizzt Do’Urden?” Astarion’s voice had gone up at least half an octave, and in an instant, the vampire was hovering over Wyll’s shoulder, cold hand gripping his arm. “Oh my gods, it is!”

Wyll looked at him, surprised. “You…know about Drizzt Do’Urden?”

“Know about him? I’m obsessed with him,” Astarion said, eyes bright. “Reading about him is what’s kept me sane for the better part of two centuries. He is literally everything one could want from a hero.” He looked up at Wyll. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you like him.”

Wyll laughed. “I had my father read The Companions Codex every night I could for a year straight,” he said. “He’s why I started on this path. I dreamt of having adventures like his.”

“Everything all right?” Karlach poked her head into the library, and Wyll nodded as Astarion ducked around him to look at the book’s dust jacket.

“Yes, we’re fine. Just found the new Drizzt Do’Urden biography while pok—”

“Drizzt Do’Urden?” Karlach’s hands immediately went to squish her cheeks in excitement. “Oh, my mum used to tell me stories about him all the time!” She hurried over to look at the book. “Isn’t he the best? Sometimes, when things got really bad down in Avernus, I’d try and imagine I was one of his companions—y’know, fighting the good fight against all odds.”

“Wyll,” Astarion said, suddenly very serious. “I know you’re a good person. It’s frustrating, but typically manageable. But in this case, we need to take this book.”

“We really do, Wyll,” Karlach agreed.

Wyll looked it over, then glanced around. “Well…I mean, whoever owns this place probably isn’t coming back…” Karlach and Astarion nodded intently. “…and I bet it’ll be great for camp morale.”

“Then it’s settled. Back with us it goes.” Astarion paused, finger going to his lips as he looked between Wyll and Karlach. “One…problem. There’s only one copy, and three of us.”

All three looked between each other.

“Well…I’m probably out,” Karlach said after a moment, giving a sheepish smile as she holds up her hands. “I know I’ve cooled down a bit, but paper and fire? Not a great combination.”

Wyll looked down at the book for a moment, face tight. With a long sigh, he held it out to Astarion. “Here. You can read it first.”

Astarion took the book, an eager glint in his eye, but he glanced up at Wyll and Karlach. After a moment, he heaved out a sigh. “Well, now I look like an arsehole if I do take it.”

Wyll crossed his arms. “I don’t suppose there’s some way all three of us could read it at once? Like maybe…” He suddenly grinned. “I’ve got it.”

~

“But Regis looked to Drizzt and nodded, and Catti-brie did, too, and so the drow pulled out his onyx figurine and brought in the sixth member of the Companions of the Hall. All gathered, then, Regis and Wulfgar announced their plans, and Bruenor’s cry of dismay split the night and turned many nearby eyes their way…”

Wyll’s voice was steady and smooth as he read the book aloud. He, Astarion, and Karlach all sat together, backs to the fire, and hadn’t moved since they’d cracked it open, save for when Wyll passed the book to Astarion for his turns to read. Karlach, the three had decided, was just a little too much at risk for singing the pages.

Off to the other side of the fire, Lae’zel frowned as she crossed her arms, looking to Falerin—he was listening in, but not nearly so raptly.

“Who is this…Drizzt?” she asked. “Is it a holy text in this plane?”

Falerin stifled a laugh. “You would think it with them, wouldn’t you?” he whispered. “He’s an adventurer. Hero, really, in every sense of the word. There must be hundreds of books about him. I read a few when I was younger.”

“T’chk. They are contenting themselves with children’s stories, then,” Lae’zel scoffed. “If they wish to know true feats of bravery, then they should hear of how the immortal queen Vlaakith once st—”

“Shhh!!” Wyll, Astarion, and Karlach all snapped their heads around, fingers to their lips. Lae’zel, clearly caught off-guard, went quiet, and the three turned around to resume their reading.

“Wait until they finish. They’ll probably be through the whole thing by morning,” Falerin whispered.

Lae’zel looked over at him, then let out a little huff. “Very well. I will listen to these Drizzt stories. Perhaps there is something useful to glean, outside of magic cats and lavender eyes.”

Fictober 2023 Drabble Master Post

#fictober23 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #wyll ravengard #karlach #OH MY GODS IT'S DRIZZT DO'URDEN #camp shenanigans #drabble

[insane4fandoms]

Valentines headcanon Valentines headcanon! Can we please get a valentines headcanon with the crew?

Guess who was dying because they were sick for three days and missed a Valentines Day post, this guy :,)

As an Aroace, I -for some reason- LOVE Valentine’s Day (even though I joke about being disgusted by the holiday).

It’s just one of those moments every year where I watch and cherish those relationships and fascinated by the concept of falling in love in real life.

I know I could never actually love someone in a romantic way, but that doesn’t stop me from giving love, especially when my love language is cooking.

(LATE) ISWM Valentines General Headcanons

Mark

- Mark LOVES any kind of holiday, he always thinks it’s a great way to learn others’ cultures when celebrating and decorates the ship. He somehow managed to put a giant heart sticker on the outside of the ship-

- Makes cards for everyone on the ship, and don’t be surprised to see Captain getting the most from not only everyone combine, but 5 times more from Mark.

- He also gets more than cards for the leaders, and gives Chica the most affection (which is understandable)

Celci

- Doesn’t mind the fact Mark is going crazy for this holiday, but gets very flustered when getting anything from anyone.

- She just doesn’t expect to get one since she’s hard on a lot of crewmates, especially Mark, so she deeply appreciates that people see her as a good leader.

- She gets embarrassed when she’s gives gifts to others, especially to the leaders, because you know Mark and Gunther would tease her. If she gets a kiss from the Captain, then she fainted of the amount of blushing she experienced.

Gunther

- Gunther would 100% put heart stickers on his ADS machines. He treats them as children, and programs them to have their lasers be heart shaped.

- Is nonchalantly giving people cards, pretending it’s not a big deal, but when you give him a gift, he’ll excuse himself, turn to an empty room, and crumple to the floor while his face heats up.

- Tried to give Mack a big ol’ hug as a Valentine’s gift, didn’t work out well as Mack body slammed him (Just to remind you, Mack is very much incapable of having upper body strength, so Gunther just saw god that day)

Burt

- Love poems for DAYS. His heart is filled with passion when it comes to writing poems. Even made Mack cry (but don’t tell him I said that-)

- I headcanon Burt as someone who knits, and he’ll make those crochet stuff toys for everyone, whether it’s animals or a tiny version of people, he’s a master at crocheting.

- He has a box full of gifts from everyone, and has a special box just from the leaders. Whenever he feels a bit lonely, he checks box box and gifts, remembering that others care for him.

Mack

- Is not fond of Valentine’s Day, mainly because he got bullied as a kid for never having a Valentines. So it would make sense he wouldn’t be in a happy mood.

- When he actually got a gift, he was sure it was a joke, that someone was messing with him. But he eventually was convinced it was for him, and he cried.

- He sneakily gave everyone else cards, mostly because he doesn’t know who gave him his gift. If anyone suspects him in giving them a present, he’ll get very defensive about it.

Bonus!

Allu

- A human holiday that’s meant for love? Sign them up!! Mark would teach them all the customs of this interesting love event, and goes overboard.

- Allu Would wear color pallets, hang banners in their office, all the works! And don’t get me started on Allu looking to the holiday’s history, it’s a double score on finding out human culture.

- She’ll be like Mark and make cards for everyone, and if they get a gift in return, they will legit squeal so loud, it’ll break the windows again.

Bandit

- Doesn’t get why humans celebrate such a dumb holiday when you could just love everyone everyday, but when Captain gave her a card, bet your ass she’ll keep it.

- Gives others advanced weaponry as her way of giving, so don’t be surprised when you’re given a nuke by her. “It’ll make you think of me,” Thank you Bandit, we’ll remember you when the nuke melts our skin off.

- Of course she’ll give presents to Wug, they’re the best of friends, and Wug will give literal heart cookies. Also Bandit ate those cookies, don’t ask where Wug got the hearts from.

Wug

- Wug does not fully understand the concept, but Wug the one who- Like Allu- Goes extreme when celebrating. Chopped up cards, crushed chocolates, head of a space beast, all the things you’ll fall for.

- “WUG MADE HEART COOKIES!!” Cookies from literal heart meat. Wug means well, don’t worry, just eat it and Wug won’t get upset.

- Gets gifted a teddy bear the size of Wug, and it’s Wug’s best friend. Takes it everywhere, and thinks it’s real. Bandit and Allu think it’s cute, and don’t have the heart to tell Wug that it’s fake.

Chica

- Has no idea on what’s going on. But she loves the attention.

- People giving her love, gifts, and praising her? It’s all she ever wished for!

- She’s the ultimate good dog, and this holiday is her being treated as a god.

#in space with markiplier #iswm #iswm mack #iswm mark #iswm celci #iswm gunther #iswm burt #iswm allu minium #iswm bandit #iswm chica #iswm wug

[forgan-forge]

I want s3 of Good Omens to be Aziraphale and Crowley leading the humans against Heaven and Hell. This is a story about love, of course, forbidden love. But it’s also a story about the value and priority of humanity. Throughout the series, the angels and demons of Heaven and Hell talk about God’s Great plan. It’s highlighted at the end of S1 that they don’t know about God’s Ineffable plan. I believe that Her plan has always, and will always be about letting humanity thrive. (I think that She’s also a giddy shipper and Aziracrow is Her OTP).

(Rant continues under the cut)

We’ve already had hints that the systems of Heaven and Hell are corrupt and bound to break down. We’ve already had a love story between and Angel and a demon that (so far) has had a happy ending.

My theory is that this story will end with the abusive structures of Heaven and Hell finally breaking down. We know that Heaven especially is abusive, see the lie theory and the fact that they need to keep up appearances (the whole institutional problem spiel).

We know that Jesus is going to play a part in this story. The plane that he arrives in is seen in the s2 intro.

The planned sequel involved Crowley and Aziraphale tracking down Jesus across the USA. I theorize that this will lead Jesus into teaming up with A and C, a parallel to Adam. (This’ll be either after they make up, or it’ll be a comical race to see who can find Jesus first. I personally prefer the latter.) This, of course, would infuriate heaven and hell, and they’ll pledge war. With Gabriel and Beelz absent, there would be new leaders that don’t exactly care that the rules are. I think that Aziraphale would try to stop Heaven, but to no avail. (The abuser never stops being abusive, you’re just wearing rose colored lenses.)

Aziraphale leaves Heaven, rosy lenses broken, and Crowley probably has a whole “I was right now do the dance” moment, and they make up. But, there’s a war happening, a real one this time, and they need help. And what better help to stop the destruction of Earth than the very inhabitants of the planet, who probably wouldn’t be very pleased at their demise.

Jesus helps A and C just like Adam did, going against his purpose. (You know how Neil likes his parallels.)

And maybe it’s the three of them combined that stops Heaven and Hell, or maybe it’s God Herself. You see, she says in the beginning of s1 that she plays “an ineffable game of [her] own devising” and I think that the aforementioned game is a test. A test of what, exactly? Heaven and Hell, and they’ve failed. You can’t just give beings power, put them in charge, and expect them to run things perfectly. I don’t think it was God that cast Crowley out of heaven, it was beings who thought that they knew what God wanted. She likes to play games, she likes to bet with Satan, and plan things that only She knew the contents of.

She was testing Heaven and Hell, just like she tested Job and Jesus. Nobody could figure out her ineffable plan because it was just that, ineffable. But, Crowley and Aziraphale had a better understanding than any other Angel or demon.

Where is this rant going? I think that Humanity will come out on top of Heaven and Hell, and that the two kingdoms will renounce their abusive ways of guessing everything that God wants, if not dissolve their governments completely. I want to see an end where angels and demons achieve peace with each other, and humanity is allowed to exist without any divine or demonic influence.

And I think that this love letter to humanity, and love story between two enemies by nature, will end, as it began, in a garden. Specifically, the garden of Aziraphale and Crowley’s South Downs cottage. I think that it will rain, and A and C will shelter under an umbrella, humanity’s wing.

EDIT: There’s also some pretty huge emphasis on Azi and Crowley’s combined power, so I hope they do something really cool with that. “The power of love prevails above all” type shit.

#THIS IS ALL JUST A THEORY #I will love and cherish whatever Neil has planned #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #Crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable beurocracy #rant #good omens theory #long post #forgan’s post

[abramsbooks]

RECIPE: Coconut Pho Bowls (from Body Harmony by Nicole Berrie)

This might be my favorite thing to make in the winter. Actually, in the summer too. It reminds me of the piping hot bowls Nick and I would get on the beach in Phuket. In fact, eating hot, steamy, soupy bowls can be quite cooling in the hotter months. The creamy, salty broth is so easy to make and, shockingly, you don’t even need that much time. Fifteen minutes for a fragrant multilayered broth? You bet. It’s also hard to mess up if you have the right aromatics. You can add pretty much any vegetables you have on hand and it’ll still be great. What makes this soup, though, are the fresh and bright herbs and the crunchy, spicy fixings. And don’t forget the lime wedge for extra alkalinity.

Makes 4 to 5 bowls

Ingredients

2 tablespoons coconut oil

2 cloves garlic, smashed and minced

1 large yellow onion, minced

1‑inch (2.5‑cm) knob turmeric, or ½ teaspoon dried

1½- to 2‑inch (4- to 5‑cm) knob ginger, grated

1 teaspoon sea salt

3 scallions, halved

2 cups (115 g) cooked vermicelli

1 (131/2-ounce/398-ml) can full-fat unsweetened coconut milk

1 cup (75 g) napa cabbage, thinly sliced

3 carrots, peeled and shaved

1 red bell pepper, cored and thinly sliced

1 cup (96 g) shiitake mushrooms caps, sliced

2 cups (142 g) broccoli florets and stems, roughly chopped

1 tablespoon coconut sugar

Juice and zest of 1 lime

2 tablespoons tamari sauce

1 zucchini, shaved into “noodles” with a serrated vegetable peeler or thinly sliced into long strips

Optional

¼ cup (60 ml) Vegan Fish Sauce

Garnish

½ cup fresh mint leaves

½ cup fresh cilantro leaves

½ cup lightly packed fresh basil leaves

¼ cup roasted peanuts, crushed orroughly chopped

1 lime, quartered

Thinly sliced Bird's Eye Chili, or, redchili flakes, or chili oil

½ cup raw bean sprouts

METHOD

In a 3-quart (2.8-L) stockpot, heat the coconut oil. When it has melted, add the garlic, onion, turmeric, and ginger and sauté on medium low for 2 minutes, until fragrant, being careful not to brown. Add 6 cups (1.4 L) water, the fish sauce, if using, and the scallions. Season with salt. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 15 minutes or up to an hour, depending on how much time you have.

While the broth is simmering, in a pot of boiled water, off heat, hydrate the vermicelli, loosening the strands for 3 to 4 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water. Separate the strands with your hands. If you’re not using the noodles right away, you can add 1 tablespoon avocado oil and massage them to prevent clumping.

Once the broth has finished simmering, turn off the heat and add the milk. Combine well. Bring to a low simmer and add the cabbage, carrots, bell pepper, mushrooms, and broccoli. Simmer for 3 to 5 minutes, until the vegetables are tender but still bright and al dente. Add the sugar, lime juice and zest, and tamari and salt to taste.

In 4 or 5 deep soup bowls, nestle ½ cup cooked noodles and ¼ cup zucchini noodles then ladle 1 to 2 cups vegetables and broth over the noodles. Garnish with mint, cilantro, and basil and crushed peanuts. Add a lime wedge, bean sprouts, and the chili flakes or chili oil. Serve immediately.

Founder of the popular lifestyle brand Bonberi, Nicole Berrie presents a guide to food-combining for a healthier, more balanced life

In Body Harmony, Nicole Berrie reveals how she personally transitioned from the partying years of her teens and twenties to the fast-paced world of fashion and media, eventually settling into a thriving and balanced life and career in wellness. Sharing recipes, advice, and thoughtful guidance, this book is an inspirational lifestyle manual and cookbook dedicated to those seeking the ever-elusive answer to how to nourish themselves with clean, plant-based foods while still indulging in the joys and delicacies of life.

In the introductory chapters, Berrie outlines the founding tenets of the Body Harmony lifestyle and discusses topics ranging from plant-based cooking and intuitive eating to the importance of nontoxic beauty rituals and self care. In addition, the book includes more than 50 original vegan recipes for juices, smoothies, salads, and soups, and grounding grain-based dishes, all meant to cleanse and nourish the body and soul while keeping the reader both pretty and full.

For more information, click here.

#abramsbooks #abrams books #body harmony #body harmony cookbook #nicole berrie #soup #recipe #soup recipe #nicole berrie cookbook #free recipe #winter recipe #pho #pho recipe #vegan pho

[i-didnt-do-1t]

For the writing prompts can I get uhhh

One lot of Elmer and JoJo being best friends please

I am fine with anything abt those two but if you need smth more specific I love the dynamic of Elmer being atheist and JoJo being Christian but they're still best friends

One lot of Elmer and JoJo being best friends and causing problems on purpose! Thank you for the prompt! I hope this is okay :D

“I have an idea.” Elmer said, and that sentence alone was enough to drag a groan out of JoJo.

It would be unfair to say that all the trouble they got into landed squarely on Elmer’s shoulders alone, but he could unload about a solid eighty percent of it to him. JoJo just wasn’t a fan of causing problems, primarily because he knew he’d get a lecture from the nuns when they inevitably got wind of it, which he could account to Jack apparently, based of the raised eyebrow and knowing smirk he gave him last time when JoJo met his eyes over the Sister McGonagle’s shoulder as he’d finished his morning coffee.

That was embarrassing, and he wasn’t due a repeat for at least another week or two but tryna keep Elmer in line that long was more difficult than the other boys gave him credit for. Davey had once called him an enabler but JoJo wasn’t sure what that meant so he didn’t think it was true.

Elmer was real persuasive when he wanted to be, and Jojo was easily persuaded. It was just a bad combination but one that was impossible to tear apart.

“What?”

“Well, y’know how Davey has a ma an’ pa n’ all.”

This was going somewhere it probably shouldn’t.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“I says we get ourselves invited over for dinner huh? I bet his ma’s a real good cook.”

Jojo frowned. “Ain’t you got a mother?”

“Well, yeah, but I also got a million brothers, ain’t like there’s alotta food left for me by the time they all gets to it.”

“That’s fair.” He had to concede.

JoJo weighed up the consequences, cuz it weren’t like they’d be doing anything wrong persay, maybe pestering Dave a little but that wasn’t anything the other boys didn’t do on a daily basis, nothing that either of them could get in trouble over.

“So what’s the plan?” He asked and Elmer grinned.

“We just gotta be real nice to him all day, maybe throw in a line or two about how we ain’t been to a friends house in ages.”

JoJo was unimpressed.

“You think that’s gonna work?”

“Definitely.”

JoJo stared at him for a moment, assessing, wondering why the couldn’t just ask him if they could come over (Dave was a real decent guy) but Elmer just smiled at him again before he spat in his hand and held it out.

“It’ll go great. An’ I heard his big sister makes dessert sometimes.”

And Elmer shoulda led with that part, cause really that was all JoJo needed to hear.

They shook on it.

xxx

JoJo knew that Elmer wasn’t the most subtle person he ever met but this morning he was laying it on thick, Davey had barely got his papers when Elmer, from across the distribution centre, decided to start enacting his plan. Loudly.

“Hey Davey, yous real smart y’know that?”

David looked up from where he was counting his pile of papers, and he wasn’t the only one either, Jack at his side instantly narrowed his eyes, and Racetrack took one of those long drags of his cigar, mouth curling up to a smile around it as he glanced between Elmer and Dave.

“Alright.” Jack said and moved toward them, dragging David behind him by the upper arm despite his protests characterised by an eyeroll and then acceptance of his fate. “I’ll bite. What have you done to Dave?”

Elmer put that look on his face, the one that was pretending to be offended, so obviously fake because they all knew what his real offended expression looked like when they made fun of his selling.

“What? I can’t compliment Dave without an uh-“ he paused. Jojo just stared at him.

This was a sinking ship.

“Without a- what do you call those things? The motivater or somethin’”

David raised an eyebrow. “An ulterior motive?”

“Right yeah that. I can’t compliment you without one of those?”

“Not in that tone a’ voice you can’t.” Jack interjected.

“What tone a’ voice?”

Ah this was Jojo’s turn to interject before he dug himself a bigger hole he wouldn’t be able to climb out of so easy. He winced a little and shrugged apologetically. “You do have a voice.”

The betrayal in Elmer’s eyes was almost enough to make Jojo retract the statement.

“I thought we was in this together.”

“Okay, in what together?” Jack said. “What are you doing?”

“Actually nothing.” Jojo said. “An’ I know you ain’t gonna believe me but it’s Gods honest truth Jack and I wouldn’t ever lie bout that.”

What could he say it was his duty to protect his friends from their own dumb ideas.

Jack frowned. “You wouldn’t.”

“Me neither.”

“We all know you don’t believe in God Elmer.”

“Yeah. Well. You gonna hold that against a guy?”

“Okay, whatever it is I want it done now alright.” He clapped a hand on David’s shoulder in a way that made him lurch forward a little and then accept it as Jack swayed him back n forth, it reminded Jojo vaguely of the cat that Elmer had found a couple weeks back and kinda just held, hands under his two little front arms as the rest of him hung, swinging gently. “Dave’s got exams comin’ up, he don’t need to be dealin’ with your pranks as well.”

“We would never.” Elmer said, indignant, and Jojo found himself nodding sombrely in a agreement, even if their last prank on David had gone off without a hitch and had left him covered in flour.

“Yeah.” Jack said, in a voice that meant he definitely didn’t believe them. “I believe you.” He swayed David once again who just sighed and let it happen. “I’d watch your back Davey, y’know what they’re like.” He concluded and slapped him once, with enough friendly force to jolt him forward again and then turned away, wondering back to Race.

David stayed stood in front of them, an expectant look on his face.

It was JoJo that broke the silence eventually.

“You’re like a cat.” He said.

He always liked saying what was on his mind, apparently Elmer wasn’t fussed on his honesty.

Elmer elbowed him, voice low and hurried, “Jo that ain’t a compliment.”

“Only if you don’t like cats.”

David just looked confused.

Elmer for some reason, kept talking, apparently trying to pull this back. JoJo had already given up the act of trying not to seem suspicious.

“You like cats Dave?” Elmer asked.

“I like cats.”

“Then take that as a compliment.”

“You sure you have no ulterior motive?”

“None.” Jojo said before Elmer had the chance, and grabbed his arm, because at this point it was best to quit while they were ahead and he knew it was ironic that arguably the least harmful plan Elmer had come up with in a while was the one that got them caught before they even got to actually enact any of it. “Anyway if that’s all Davey we real best be headin’ on, the nuns said they was expectin’ us cause I forget somethin’ in church n’ told em’ I’d finally drag Elmer with me and you really shouldn’t leave a nun waitin’ it ain’t proper.”

And then he was pulling Elmer away before David even got the chance to respond because this plan was a bust, and if he was gonna be petty about it, he never thought it was a good plan to begin with.

“You’re dumb.” JoJo said, as they shuffled their way out of the distribution gate

“You’re dumb.”

“You’re dumber.”

“I got a new plan though.”

For the second time that day Jojo groaned, he already knew what his answer was gonna be.

[aeoki]

Toyland - Chapter 4

Location: In Front of Yumenosaki Main Gate Characters: Hinata, Touri, Yuuta, Yuzuru & Eichi

Hinata: What’s this? I’d love to hear it if it’s good news ♪ If it’s bad news, then no thank you!

Yuzuru: Rest assured, it’s something worth your time. Now, go on, Young Master.

Touri: I bet you two have all the time in the world because you’ve got nothing to do, right? I’ve got good news for guys~!

There’s gonna be a new toy store opening in the shopping district and I’ve received a request for us to perform for its opening. I wouldn’t mind arranging it so that you two can also take part.

How’s that? Sounds good, right? ♪

Hinata: Hime-kun, you said “us” so does that mean all of “fine” is gonna participate?

Touri: Yup. I asked the President and he said he’ll do anything for me, so he agreed without a second thought~

It’ll also be accepted as an official dreamfest, so we’ll be rewarded at the end too. You wouldn’t turn down such a good offer, right?

Hinata: Of course not! Working at a toy store sounds perfect for us~ Thanks, Hime-kun! I love you lots!

Touri: Uuu!? D-Don’t hug me so casually like that~!

Well, you’re a cut above the rest of the commoners and you’re like my friends, so I guess I wouldn’t mind giving you special permission to do that.

Hinata: You’re not very honest, huh, Hime-kun~ *Rub rub* ♪

Touri: S-Stop that! I don’t mind giving you permission to hug me, but I don’t remember ever saying you can rub cheeks with me~

Yuuta: Hey, Hime-kun. I’m kinda scared hearing how nice the deal sounds. Why did you ask us to perform with you?

Touri: “fine” is the top unit at Yumenosaki, but it doesn’t feel like a unit that would be suitable for kids, right?

“fine” is all about elegance and grace, so it’ll probably be too advanced for kids to understand.

You guys would be the perfect unit to make kids happy.

“RYUUSEITAI” has way too many members for the stage we have this time.

And one of “2wink’s” members is my classmate. If we’re gonna be working together, then working with someone I know would be easier, right?

Yuuta: I see. But I had a question when I was listening earlier.

This request didn’t go to the President but it came directly to you, right?

Touri: Yup. The toy store that’s opening in the shopping district is owned by the Himemiya family, so it’s only natural that the request would fall to my doorstep.

Hinata: Ohh, as expected of the rich. I knew it – everyone needs a rich friend~♪ I hope you’ll continue to be friends with me and Yuuta-kun in the future too ☆

Yuuta: Your intentions are so obvious, you’re weirding me out, Aniki…

But, well, we were asked to and we don’t want to put on a performance that would ruin Hime-kun’s reputation.

Hinata: Yeah. We’ve gotta show them what we can do as “2wink”, Yuuta-kun ♪

Yuzuru: Now that we have received a favourable response from “2wink”, I shall set up a place for everyone to meet after school.

I shall also ask Anzu-san to come… Oh, please leave these sorts of arrangements to me.

Working brings me great joy – I hope you won’t take that away from me…♪

[ Location: Student Council Room ]

Eichi: Hello, Hinata-kun, Yuuta-kun, Touri and Yuzuru… I see you’re here too, Anzu-chan.

Welcome to the student council room. We shouldn’t stand here talking so I’ll brew us some tea.

Yuuta: No, it’s alright. We can’t have you acting like our gofer.

We can’t push someone so hard when they don’t look well. Are you sure you don’t need to go to the infirmary~?

Eichi: My body is acting up due to the cold weather. But the student council room is heated, so talking shouldn’t be an issue.

Let’s get back to the main topic. The job this time won’t be consisting of a combined performance from “fine” and “2wink”, but of a “temporary unit”.

Do you need an explanation for “temporary units"?

Hinata: Hmm~ I feel like I’ve heard it somewhere before, but I don’t really understand what it means~ Could I get an explanation?

Eichi: A “temporary unit” is a unit that is formed for a temporary period of time.

A new unit consisting of “fine” and “2wink” will be formed for the opening performance.

A little while before, I was also a member of “Knight Killers” but that was also a “temporary unit”.

Once the goal is achieved, the “temporary unit” will disband.

Hinata: So it sounds like only the interested parties will team up to form a unit, right? That’s a level up from being the opening act. We’re in~♪

Yuuta: I don’t have any objections, either.

Anzu-san, you’re the “producer” so will you be making the outfits and supporting us like usual?

Yuzuru: The outfits, stage and music will all be provided by the Himemiya family.

Therefore, it would be appreciated if you can help with creating the flyers for the opening performance, Anzu-san.

Eichi: Hmm. It’s an official dreamfest so we should also decide on the name for it.

I’m imagining children playing around in a land of toys, so how about “Toyland”?

Touri: It’s a name you’ve come up with, President, so of course we have no issues with it~ Do you like it too, Anzu?

Children will see our performance, have fun and smile like flowers blooming.

I wanna show everyone else the scene that the President once showed me. It would be a waste to not share those emotions I felt.

If there’s a kid who also wants to be an idol like how I aspire to be like the President, then that would make me super happy ♪

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

#toyland

[kandyrezi]

Yosafire yandere headcanons?

Anonymous asked: Could I request hc for a yandere Yosafire with an oblivious reader?

[ ♡ / ♢ ] Yandere!Yosafire HCs.

(a/n: i went on ahead and combined these asks together!)

- : - : - : - : - : - : - : -

» Yosafire is a dependent type of yandere; her sweet temperament renders her a (relatively) harmless and one of the better lovesick demons to find on your trail. She’s willing to go at whatever length to protect you and be on your side whenever you need her to be.

» She has nodded off thinking about and staring at you in class in more than one occasion, which has resulted in her having a piece of chalk thrown at her forehead or getting hit with a ruler against her fingers by Ms. Greif.

» She has entire pages devoted to you in her diary talking about how much she likes you, what you did together the other day down to the last detail she can recall, the things she’d want to do together but haven’t reached said point yet or if it would be too soon for those.

» Yosafire has, at times, unintentionally stalked after you – when you said you were in a bad mood and wanted to be alone, she still had to secretly come along to make sure you were okay.

» She will burn any hostile otherworldly enemies into crisp with her fire breathing ability if any one of ‘em hurts you. No mercy in the slightest!

» Yosafire writes you love notes and hides them in your possessions for you to find, only… it’s Rawberry who does find them and begins reading it out loud as Yosafire chases the other demon around in a circle around you in great panic, crying dramatically how it’s meant to be private!

“C’mon! Stop being a bully and give those back, Rawberry!”

“Ohhh, looks like Yosafire wrote some love letters for a certain someone else, ahah, mayyybe for someone who’s here at this current moment of time?” Rawberry hints with her teasing, “And who’s that, you may ask? I bet it’s them~!” she gestures towards the very object of the rose-tinted glasses demon’s affections.

“Oh, no, not at all. You’ve got that one wrong. Everyone knows she likes Froze, they’re totally for her!” you exclaim while clapping your hands together like you’d solved one of this world’s biggest secrets - and while Yosafire is relieved you didn’t actually catch on, also feels like dying on the inside because now she’s gotta think up of another method to confess.

» Yosafire likes to pretend (most of the time it isn’t actually pretend at all) to feel uneasy in unfamiliar, hostile situations (like the Flame Underworld) just so she can be clingy with an excuse, insisting the two of you should hold hands so you don't accidentally get separated.

» She gives you relentless amount of gifts; flowers plucked from her garden into a somewhat clumsily wrapped bouquet, or fruits from the nearby forest ("So you don't go hungry!" she says, despite the fact you already ate pie at Dialo's house half an hour earlier) and sometimes completely random items that remind you of her, like a rock vaguely the same shape as a heart, drawing of a butterfly in her diary she saw in the meadows, with your eye or hair color.

» Imagine her pointing at clouds in the sky and saying, "Hey, that looks like us holding hands!" and you replying with, "Nah, I think it looks like just a cloud."

» More often than not, she’ll (try to) tell you how much she likes you, only for you to respond with, “I like you too, Yosaf! You’re a really good friend.”

» Unlike majority of yanderes who would be frustrated if you didn't catch on to the obvious telltale signs of affection, she thinks your obliviousness is cute, and it’ll be worth the wait until you finally catch on when she wants you to. It doesn’t stop her from being nervous at the thought of possibly getting rejected, but she won’t hold it against you, honestly! It doesn’t mean she has to stop secretly following you around because of that, right? You’ll probably never notice - with how oblivious you are and all - how her puppy lovesickness doesn’t diminish that easily. The demon feels all her emotions very strongly, after all.

#yandere x reader #okegom #funamusea #mogeko #the gray garden #yosafire (tgg) #female yandere #deep-sea prisoner #dsp #tgg #yosafire #yandere #ficlets

[gofigureelectra]

NHK Trophy 22 - Men’s Starting Order and Predictions

1. Shoma Uno - as long as he can skate with ~1.5 errors or less, he should easily take the gold even on anyone else’s best day. If he is in the same condition or better than he has been this season already, we should be in for a treat this weekend 🙏🏻

2. Junhwan Cha - if, and that’s a big if, he can skate clean — without <s, he really has been having a moment this season and I think he can carry it all the way to 4CC and Worlds. And today is his first test among this tough field.

3. Adam Siao Him Fa - especially riding high off of his 🥇 at home, combined with his great package of programs and an attentive audience, Adam could really make some magic. We will just have to watch out for some of his squirelier jumps.

More than anything with this field of men, including 6 current Grand Prix series medalists, it’s going to come down to cleanliness and who can maintain their Base Value. Not only is this field of men talented, but it is inconsistent. That means that regardless of what is on my predictions list, and even what happens in the SP, we will likely see an entirely different result come Saturday.

4. Sota Yamamoto — he has been looking the best he has in his entire career this season, and I want to believe that he can lay down another great competition here in front of a home crowd.

5. Matteo Rizzo - my boy, I think sadly even though I love him, and he has been not only upping his tech content but his consistency… but I don’t think it will either be enough (or consistent, with positive enough goes) for him to pull off a 2nd-4th placement. I sure hope he proves me wrong though!

6. Kazuki Tomono - again, I’m really looking forward to him hopefully making me eat my words. But a tendency to pop or flop means I do not have high hopes for a clean program, even if it’ll be one of my favorites of the night.

7. Gabriel Frangipani - he has had a strong season so far, and if he can keep it up, he is my pick to slide into any openings left by unclean skates.

8. Maurizio Zandron - he is my wildcard in this group, especially considering this is his Grand Prix debut (and I don’t believe he’s been super active in the challengers this season). Here’s hoping he can continue the momentum and growth he built on last year.

While I love the next 4 skaters, it is literally a coin flip for all 4 of them whether they will pop a jump, completely splat on another — and there is no ceiling to how much BV the 4 of these men have the potential to lose. I genuinely hope all 4 of them skate clean and prove me wrong, because they have some really great qualities as individual skaters (and at least some of their programs…). The good news is that it would be hard for any of them to do worse than their first Grand Prix… but I would honestly bet money that the 4 of them will place 9-12th in the final standings.

9. Conrad Orzel

10. Nika Egadze

11. Stephen Gogolev

12. Tomoki Hiwatashi - I will say, I can’t wait to hear Tomoki speak a lil Japanese in the kiss and cry 🥺

#nhk trophy #figure skating #mens figure skating #Grand Prix figure #IsU figure #nhk trophy 2022 #Shoma Uno #junhwan cha #team Japan #team South Korea #adam siao him fa #team france #Sota Yamamoto #Kazuki Tomono

[katforll313]

It's hard to sew together the patchwork that is other people’s lives, even when they’re still with us. 

There are the stories Grandpa told me, but never wrote down: how the nuns would rap his knuckles with a ruler for if he used his left hand to write, so eventually he learned to use his right, and how Grandpa Abraham died too young for any of his own sons to ever meet him. 

There are the stories he wrote down, but never told me: how Aunt Nancy did eventually meet the woman who must have been his mother and how the nuns always ate better than all of the kids and put their “Christmas gifts” under lock and key after the pictures were taken.

There are the stories he writes and tells: how they served lima beans every damn day (he still can’t stomach them to this day) and how Uncle Mo paid for his tuition at St. Ignatius to make sure he could go to high school.

And there are the stories he doesn’t tell, the ones that my Dad or Uncle Mo has told me: how the Debevecs treated Aunt Betty as maid for their own kids, because she was a half-Lebanese “orphan” girl, and how Aunt Nancy and Uncle Lenny were both diagnosed with bipolar disorder (probably from a combination of their home life and genes from their mom).

And last there are the stories no one talks about, the ones you have to read between the lines and hear the pauses between words for: how Grandpa was raised in wartime on a story of glory and honor (one Uncle Lou would spit on, I bet), how they were “studied” as kids, because they were an undeniably smart family of half-brown wards of the state during the height of eugenics, how a doctor left a needle floating around in Grandpa as a boy because “it’ll work itself out eventually and whos around to care if it doesn’t.”

I wonder how much love and pride Grandpa feels today when he looks out at all of his sons and grandchildren (and even some great-grandchildren) all together every year. I hope it’s a lot, it seems like its all Great-grandpa Abraham ever wanted for his kids.

This is for my Reader's Choice. I read my Grandpa (L.G. Williams)'s memoir "The Home," because I couldn't take a memoir class and not read my own Grandpa's. I cried multiple times, and not about any of the things I think I was supposed to. The prompt I chose was "all together," which is how he captioned all of the photos where he, his four siblings, and his dad were all in the shot.

#mine #written #tw abuse mention #tw needles #tw eugenics

[georgiagassavings]

Why Variable Gas Rates are Best Deal Now

New Post has been published on https://www.georgiagassavings.com/blog/why-variable-gas-rates-are-best-deal-now/

Why Variable Gas Rates are Best Deal Now

Should I Jump on a Variable Gas Rate?

Even Tiddles is amazed that variable gas rates in Georgia CAN save you money right now. Find out why this usually worst choice is now the best one for shoppers in Georgia.

We know Georgia energy shoppers are busy squeezing the last vitamin D out of that toasty summer sun. But it’s no time to take your foot off of the gas! That’s because the stars have aligned to give you the sneakiest of bill-busting aces up your sleeve – but it won’t last long. It comes, improbably, in the form of variable gas rates. Yes, really! Get off that fainting couch! But why are they suddenly the best deal? And, more importantly, how can they land you cheap power? Let’s take a look…

What’s all this Fuss about Variable Gas Rates?

Savvy shoppers and regular readers (and the overlap here is round about 100%) will know we’ll rarely give variable rate plans top billing. That’s because variable rates can be pricey, and have a nasty habit of wayward spiking. And when they spike, boy do they spike! 

But at this time of year, variable rate plans are among the cheapest on the market. Plus, with warm weather expected to trail over into fall, you won’t really be using all that much gas. So, barring some truly gargantuan market catastrophe (and let’s not rule it out!), your chances of getting cheap-to-moderate bills would be pretty golden. 

Most importantly, those shoulder months are just around the corner. And you want to be able to jump on the lower rates ASAP if, or when, they come up. With a fixed rate plan, you’ll have to shell out an exit fee to do so. But variable rate plans don’t charge you a dime! 

Best Variable Energy Rates for GA

To show you just how good a deal these variable gas rates are right now, we’ll compare them to the cheapest 12 month rate on the market. That’s the SureLock 12 plan from XOOM Energy. These guys usually offer great rates, but this one (the cheapest!) is a whopping 99.9 cents per therm. Add on the $5.85 monthly charge, and the $100 cancellation fee, and it’ll really cost you over fall. 

By contrast, you could pick up the Market Intro plan from Georgia Natural Gas®. This introductory discount rate is identical, at 99.9 cents per therm, with possibly a cheaper monthly charge at $4.99-$9.99. And whilst it’s capped at 2 months, that’s all you really need. The best bit? No exit fee!

But you can do even better, folks, with the Acquisition Variable plan from Gas South. The monthly charge is a skosh pricier at $6.95 to $9.95. But the rate is unbeatable: 69 cents per therm. Plus there’s no exit fee. Plus-plus, there’s no two-month cap!

Shop your Variable Energy Rate Now!

See what we mean? Combine low variable rates (or pricey fixed ones!), sparing energy usage, and imminent shoulder months, and a variable rate really is your best bet for the next month or two. That’s why variable gas rates are the best deal now, but it won’t be that way for long! Save on bills by shopping a variable rate now at www.GeorgiaGasSavings.com.

#Gas South #Georgia Natural Gas Company #Save Money #Shoulder Months #Xoom

[doomedandstoned]

Row of Ashes Air Scorching New LP, ‘Bleaching Heat’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

A bloodthirsty salvo of sludge, djent, and extreme metal greets us as the fiercely titled 'Bleaching Heat' (2022) begins. This is ROW OF ASHES and they're about to leave you breathless.

Opening track "WorcesterMan" presents a dismal, overcast day that carries an ominous feeling in the air. Soon it's pummeling us with ice chunks hailed down from on high. I thought of Baptists while taking in the wild, windswept drumming. Lyrics are filled with gut-wrenching spite, as the song proclaims: "I confess I confuse who I am with what I’ve done."

A positively mammoth drum attack welcomes us to the title track. The vocals are likewise fierce, with "Bleaching Heat" spitting out a lungful of flames that burn like American Headcharge's first album 'Trepanation' (1999). The guitar really grinds on this one.

You’ll never have a reckoning You’ve fallen too far to save

An off-beat rhythm welcomes us to "Jerk," with bleak low-end that surrounds and covers us like a formidable stormcloud, unleashing torrents upon our heads. Guitar strings glide back and forth like a banana yellow slip 'n' slide. A great pairing with Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza or Car Bomb.

"The Wreck & The Mill" gives us calm reprieve with a scenic instrumental, then about half-way through there's a sudden change of character. The song erupts in a fit of dissonance and an emphatically repeated declaration: "...make traitors of us all." You may feel the band is walking a precarious tightrope with this bubbling cauldron of caustic ire; perhaps at any moment it could all just explode without warning. The rage is almost unbearable, but it is at last spent and dissipates into darkness.

"The Next Away" seizes us like a delirious fever dream, with powerful blasts of bass, sizzling guitar, and damning vocals calling to mind the bombast of Meshuggah, whilst the amps crackle and reverberate like Yob or Samothrace. Then guitar, bass, and drums combine forces to produce massive, crashing chords that will rival anything you're likely to hear in its class. My mind wandered into visions of stomping kaiju making massive dents in the earth with each raging, forceful footstep. These are some of the most memorable, emotion laden moments of the record

After a short interlude that sounds something like an exposed PVC pipe being blown by the wind on a sopping wet day, we get into "Contraband." The shouts and monstrous low end stir up all the wrath of a band like Gojira or Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean. I'll bet that Row of Ashes is frighteningly heavy live.

The band summon their full powers for the first-raising soul-bearer "In Summation." It may also be the most supremely doom number of the lot. The singing gets so vehement it'll send your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Towards the end, there's a blast o' guitar that'll leave all your hair standing on end, too. Mighty stuff.

Look for the wide release of Bleaching Heat by Row of Ashes this Friday, May 6th, via UK label Surviving Sounds, who will be releasing it digitally and on limited edition cassette (pre-order here). Shuffle this into a playlist with Will Haven, Unsane, Neurosis, Trap Them, Ealdor Bealu, and Mutant Scum. This is the Doomed & Stoned world premiere.

Give ear...

Bleaching Heat by Row Of Ashes

SOME BUZZ

Surviving Sounds proudly present the new album from London based noisy sludge metal trio ROW OF ASHES - to be released on cassette and digital on May 6th 2022. Bleaching Heat is Row Of Ashes rawest and most immediate statement to date - the summation of two years of frustration bent into a pummeling barrage of angular riffs, bulldozing drums and pained screams.

Captured by Joe Garcia at Joe's Garage in Bristol (which has also graced Idles, Wilderness Hymnal and Ogives Big Band), Bleaching Heat is all sweat, muscle, fire and fury, though not without nuance. A glistening undercurrent of violin on 'The Wreck & The Mill', eerie field recordings menacingly manipulated on 'Machining Statues' and a Moog synthesizer with all the bass frequencies turned up and distorted on 'Contraband' - these subtleties become and underbelly to lift and flavour the trio's aggressive and intense performances.

With lyrics that rally varying levels of disappointment and frustration in the actions of others - Row Of Ashes' layers of noise pinched distortion, jagged riffs and eruptions of encompassing bass speak their internal woes. From the angular heat of 'Worcester Man' through to the apocalyptic beatdown of 'In Summation', Bleaching Heat is an intense and timely ode to sparring with a world that has become increasingly chaotic.

Row Of Ashes have toured mainland Europe with Hundred Year Old Man and performed alongside the likes of Witchsorrow, Garganjua, Torpor, Slabdragger, Wallowing, Wren and more. Their previous record Unbeliever was released on Truthseeker Music. Since their formation, Row Of Ashes' exhilarating and cutthroat sound has made an unmissable force in the UK's vibrant underground heavy scene.

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

#D&S Debuts #Row of Ashes #London #England #UK #industrial #sludge #doom metal #noise #Surviving Sounds #D&S Reviews #Doomed and Stoned

[paper-girls]

A’s fic recs to cry your heart out to

aka fics i cried over.

hey lads. it’s been a while. so i return with sad stuff! that says a lot about my mental state probably. oh i started uni and it’s been awful. cold pizza is shockingly good. anyway. these are all gonna be angst with a happy ending cause i’m weak and don’t like characters to be sad forever. there’s gotta be a resolution. or maybe some sickly sweet fluff. it’ll be a fun surprise. just read the tags.

fic rec masterlist

sad bois away!

SakuAtsu

The Story of Us by thesweetestnerd

a classic, i know. if you’ve been around for a while you’ve probably at least heard of this one. or i’m biased. anyway it’s a great read. i’ve reread it like five times and i cry every time. i bet you two crisp high fives you’ll cry too. 

Do I dare disturb the universe? by han_ying

have you ever wondered what a different choice would make your life like? have you ever been offered a cookie by a small orange man? no? well kiyoomi gives it a go. take a hard look at your life after this one. 

Quarantine conversations by lettersinpetals

hey covid coping mechanism! how about you incorporate realism! you’d think spending all day every day with someone you love would be heaven yeah? well. sometimes people are emotionally constipated. i’m looking at you kiyoomi. this is a call out post. 

When Atsumu Thinks About Love by GlitchyCookie

stress stress stress and feeling left behind. all things weddings bring. dances are also things that happen at weddings. so do kisses. took my heart out and put it in a bag with broken glass. at least it was polished at the end. 

a soft place to call home (series) by yee_haw23

it’s so funny to me someone called yee_haw23 can deliver such and emotionally devastating series of fics. the one’s about loss and loneliness really get me can you tell. but yeah. being alone is never fun especially when it’s rubbed in your face. 

Bound by internetpistol 

not a bondage fic. shockingly. it is about being bound to someone and something though. and about fate. how something is bound to happen based on your decisions. 

IwaOi

Ruin the Friendship by thesweetestnerd

some things were made to be messed up. like finger paint, tissues, and socks after a long day. what’s important to know is that messing something up is not the end of it, but a change of its’ shape. 

Desperado by Verbrennung

hey kid you wanna read a heist au? what about a getting back together fic? yeah? yeah i got you. crime and love what a perfect combination. honestly, this is one of my personal favourites like ever. i cannot recommend this one enough. i may have also made a playlist inspired by it and if anyone wants it simply ask. 

please disregard my house of cards (built from mistakes) by rekamohcs

softish. gratuitous plant imagery. shenanigans and tomfoolery. and it’s a university au. what more could you ask for. this fic gets a big fuzzy hug from me. and it made me feel things that weren’t necessarily sadness but made me cry nonetheless.

AsaNoya

Vienna Waits For You by Pouler (poulerslashes)

emotionally destroyed me. do not read if you’re not looking to be sad for a few days. or a few hours. depends on how fast you read but the aftermath is certainly long. loss is hard, but sometimes things aren’t as far as you’d think.

BokuAka

Behind Bricks by DeathBelle

it’s been around for a while but still gets me. prostitute au. sometimes plans get changed, for better or for worse. and sometimes things simply fall into place. 

Rules by ConesOfDunshire

also a fan favourite. it’s me i’m fan. i just cannot get over positive depictions of autism. like. it’s not that hard but they went off in this one. do i cry? yeah. sometimes i remember this and go back and read a section of it. it’s not just a fic it’s an investment.

the strange music of your heart by caniculeo

someone’s gotta fall first. who better than akaashi? bokuto is unsure. they work it out. i would like to pack this fic a lunch, give it a little kiss on the forehead, and send it off to school. 

DaiSuga

Black and Blue by MTrash (Makaria)

so first things first this fic has references to abuse so note that down. secondly, everyone lives in the same building but it’s a very gay building. thirdly, yeah i cried reading it sue me. this is my sad fic rec list.

Just Another by Mooifyourecows

so moo is actually a favourite of mine, and if you’re in the market for daisuga content, they have a lot. i love me a good unrequited-love-but-not-actually-it-just-took-some-figuring-out and also emotional constipation breakthrough fic. 

Misery’s Company by Mooifyourecows

i wasn’t lying about loving their content. so take another. but this one has a clever plan that may or may not work. sometimes relationships don’t work and sometimes you gotta fuck with everything to get everything right. 

i for sure have more but i don’t wanna put everything on one lest i overwhelm you. i realize some of the descriptions/reviews sound like tarot/oracle card meanings and i have nothing to say to that. i wrote this whole shebang in one go where the other ones can take days to months. maybe i’m procrastinating studying for exams. i hope you enjoy reading them as much as i did. and feel free to request more. i’ll get around to it eventually. 

go forth and read my dears. 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu fic recs #haikyuu #hq #hq fic recs #haikyu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #sakuatsu fic recs #daisuga fic recs #bokuaka fic recs #asanoya fic recs #Miya Atsumu #sakusa kiyoomi #sakuatsu #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi #Sugawara Koshi #daisuga #bokuto koutaro #kotaro bokuto #Bokuto Koutarou #bokuto kotaro #Akaashi Keji #akaashi keiji #bokuaka #asanoya #asahi azumane #nishinoya yū #nishinoya yuu

[robininthelabyrinth]

Imagine if Meng Shi begged and bargained and collected favors till she was able to send her A-Yao to education with the Lan Sect, perhaps even become a cultivator with them. Would he take that change? Would he become a rogue cultivator? Would the strict rules help curb his inner muderimpuls or enrage him or teach him to hide better?

A Good Fit - ao3

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am sure,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

“Then I’ll go to the Lan sect,” he said, and pretended not see the way his mother relaxed a little, relieved that he wasn’t asking too many questions. “I’ve heard they are gentlemen there, righteous but gentle; it will be the best match for my personality, I’m sure.”

A lie, of course. ‘Gentlemen’ were just as likely to come to the brothel as brutes, and they were all the same once they had a cup of wine and a beauty in their arms – Meng Yao tried not to have any illusions.

“Can we afford it?” he asked instead, since that was something he was sure his mother would have thought of, would have expected him to ask. “Gusu is so far away…”

“I have obtained a letter from the local sect recommending you to their sect leader, Lan Qiren,” she said. “He’s the one that teaches the classes – the one that sent out the summons asking the subsidiary sects to look for individuals with raw talent to join his classes and offering them an extra seat for their sects for each nameless orphan they find that lives up to Lan sect standards. Only the Heavens know why he’s doing something like that…I assume they’re trying to expand.”

That seemed like the most reasonable explanation. Meng Yao nodded. “So I’ll be traveling with the local sect?”

“That’s right,” his mother said, and raised her chin a little. “At least this much, your mother was able to do for you.”

She’d begged and bargained and traded favors for it, then, Meng Yao thought, and yet taking him along was to their own benefit: if they were looking for inherited cultivation talent sufficient for the Lan sect, then the bastard son of another Great Sect leader would be a better bet than some random nobody. She’d probably humiliated herself for nothing.

“Will you come with me?” he asked, more concerned with that – it was too easy for women of ill repute to disappear into the depths of the city if they didn’t have someone to watch out for them.

Even someone as young as he was. He wished he was older.

“You can come back to visit me during the Spring Festival,” she said, which meant no. “I’ll be all right, A-Yao.”

Meng Yao wasn’t so sure.

Still, not having him around would at least remove a visible reminder of his mother’s age – she’d been kicked out of the better brothels because of him, because no one wanted a woman who was a mother. Leaving would at least do that for her.

“I’ll write,” he finally said. “I’ll write as often as they let me.”

“And I’ll write back,” she promised him, kissing his cheek. “I promise.”

With that, Meng Yao supposed he had to be satisfied.

-

The Lan sect was both exactly like what Meng Yao expected and absolutely nothing at all like anything he could have dreamt.

For the first, his cynicism was almost immediately confirmed: the boys raised there were snobby as anything, looking down at the rest of them as little better than barbarians, and many of the adults were the same way. It was clear that this whole business of recruiting talented nobodies was a project of the sect leader’s – the interim sect leader, no less, not even the real thing – and nobody else’s; they were only just barely going along with it. Adding to that the fact that there were dozens if not hundreds of rules, and Meng Yao could glumly foresee a future of having his lack of knowledge held over his head as a fault, even with his marvelous memory to act as his backing.

For the second…

Well, there was Lan Xichen, who was – as unbelievable as it seemed – to actually embody all those things that people said about gentlemen, all kindness and gentleness and fierce upright pride, except only for real. There was Lan Wangji, who was basically perfect in every way and kinder than he gave the impression he was, willing to help tutor anyone who asked if only they dared disturb his solitude long enough to do so. There was the boy Meng Yao shared a room with, Su She, who’d punched the boy from the Yunping cultivator clan in the mouth for calling Meng Yao a son of a whore and pretended it was because they weren’t allowed to talk about that sort of thing, when actually it’d been because he hadn’t wanted rumors to get around that might make Meng Yao’s life harder in the future.

There was Lan Qiren, who was strict and a little boring but fair, painfully fair, handing out punishments with an equitable hand no matter that it meant that he was punishing the locals as often if not more often. It’d been his idea to bring people like Meng Yao into the Lan sect, and defending the idea was the only time he truly seemed moved to passion. Now that they’d passed the initial examination and been judged to match Lan sect standards, Lan Qiren announced, as far as he was concerned, they were Lan sect just as if they were born there, as if they’d been children of his own.

And he even seemed to really believe it, too.

Today, Meng Yao’s head was still warm from when the stern Teacher Lan had put his hand there, gentle and approving, and his ears still burning from the murmured “Well done, Meng Yao, as expected.”

“I think I would kill someone for him,” Meng Yao said dreamily to Su She, who snorted.

“You’ve got such father issues,” he said disdainfully, as if he didn’t have entire family issues. That was just Su She’s way, though – he bitched and moaned and complained without end, and he’d probably kill someone for Meng Yao if Meng Yao so much as hinted it was something he’d want. They’d made friends for a reason. “You know the bit about the poor kids being his own children is a lie, right?”

“I know which sect’s leader is my father, thanks,” Meng Yao said, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware it’s not Teacher Lan. Like he’d ever have kids of his own, anyway.”

“That’d require noticing when someone’s flirting with him,” Su She agreed, all solemn for just a moment, and then he dissolved into sniggering giggles. Meng Yao couldn’t blame him: it was, in fact, extremely funny when women (and sometimes men) tried to flirt with Teacher Lan, mostly because of the way that he very genuinely and completely missed that that was what was happening each and every time.

“Laugh all you like,” Meng Yao said peaceably. “You’d kill for him, too.”

“Probably,” Su She agreed. “But only because of you.”

That was fair enough. After getting the lay of the land, Meng Yao had arranged for them to ‘accidentally’ be overheard by Teacher Lan while talking about the misconduct of one of the teachers who was the most biased against guest disciples, one of the ones that had been harassing Su She in particular for over a year before Meng Yao had arrived, and despite Su She’s initial nervousness about the plan, it had all gone splendidly. Sure, they’d been punished to do five copies of a treatise on upright conduct because they’d breached Talking behind the backs of others is prohibited, but the teacher in question had been sentenced to two hundred strikes with the discipline rod for abusing his position and three months of enforced seclusion to contemplate his misbehavior, and then, Teacher Lan had said, his expression dark and threatening, they could discuss what role would be the best fit in the future.

The other teachers had taken notice and shaped up very quickly, after that.

Comparatively, those five copies made in the nice cool Library Pavilion instead of having to do chores on the hottest days of summer? Practically a pat on the back for bringing it to his attention.

Su She would never have dared to raise anything if it was just him, Meng Yao thought; he had a strange fear of authority figures that combined envy and misery in an explosive combination – he would have just suffered and suffered and suffered until he’d been pushed too far and then it would have all burst out at once. He wasn’t like Meng Yao, who was unwilling to keep to his “proper” place and was more than willing to use his greater-than-average share of brains to get what he wanted, no matter what rules he broke in the process. He was the sort of person who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain his desires – no matter what it took.

Well, maybe not no matter what. He wouldn’t want to disappoint Lan Qiren too much.

(Okay, so maybe Su She was right and he had some unresolved father issues. So what if he did? Whose business was it but his?)

-

It’d taken Meng Yao a while to fully adjust to the Cloud Recesses.

Some parts he’d figured out right away – the way they all flattered themselves as gentlemen even if they were actually little more than hypocrites (Teacher Lan and his personally taught nephews exempted, of course), which of course meant that Meng Yao’s ability to act pitiful at the drop of a hat and cleverly turn black into white made him a teacher’s pet at once. The vegetarian meals were easy enough to adapt to, given that his mother hadn’t had the money for meat all that often, and the training and cultivation and all that wasn’t any challenge for his excellent powers of retention – he had ambitions of becoming one of Teacher Lan’s aides one day, and worked assiduously towards that goal. Even waking and sleeping early, which was practically the opposite of his schedule at home, was something he could adjust to, given time and incentive.

It was his mentality that took some time to adjust.

Meng Yao had perhaps grown up with too many of his mother’s stories, painting an image of a matchless paradise – at the start, he looked at everything around him, serene and elegant but not quite as rich and shining and thought that it would do, for now. When he’d first arrived, he had had every intention of making a good reputation for himself and using that reputation to get his real father’s attention – he’d liked Teacher Lan from the beginning, despite his best attempts to not let his heart be swayed, but he’d reasoned that if a teacher was like this, then a blood-related father would be even better.

And so, for the first half-year, he’d treated his time at the Cloud Recesses…not lightly, no. He was extremely serious about making sure to get the maximum benefit he could. And yet, at the same time, he still was not really committing himself to the place.

This wasn’t where he was going to live his whole life, he reasoned; it was just a stepping stone to a better future. That meant he would exert himself to point out things that made him look good, to eliminate obstacles in his path, to win himself allies, but not bother with those longer-term problems, the ones that really ought to be fixed but which would take a great deal of effort with little reward other than annoying people.

His feeling of superiority and emotional distance lasted right up until the first discussion conference.

From a distance, Jin Guangshan was everything Meng Yao could have imagined – perhaps a little too similar to the clients that his mother often saw, a little dissolute to pull off the air of a refined scholar he affected, but wearing more gold than Meng Yao had ever seen in his life, with a retinue of servants that dwarfed the other sect’s. Each of those servants were dressed more finely than even main clan cultivators in some of the smaller sects, and though Meng Yao’s Lan sect guest disciple clothing was of such quality that he didn’t need to fear their disdain, he couldn’t help but be secretly impressed.

He'd exerted himself more than usual to trade away all of his chores and duties, freeing himself up to take on patrol duty near the Jin sect. He’d perhaps daydreamed about some sort of encounter – nothing active on his part, of course, but he couldn’t quite resist playing through some fantasy of catching someone’s eye by chance, getting called over, a “You have a familiar set to your chin, who’s your father?”, a shy halting admission, recognition, a joyous reunion…

Instead, his father spent the entire night getting drunk and cursing the Lan sect’s hospitality for not providing him with girls to go with his liquor, calling Lan Qiren a miserable prude with a stick up his ass right in front of the Lan sect disciples that clenched their fists in barely concealed rage. He’d seen Meng Yao all right, ordered him to come forward, but it’d only been to mock him in front of all of his servants – and not even for being his bastard son, no, that would involve bothering to pick him out from the crowd or to ask who he was. No, he’d mocked him simply for being one of the poor disciples that Lan Qiren had taken in, all because his accent was marked with the distinct tones of Yunping rather than the sweetness of Gusu.

“Tell me, boy,” he said, breathing fumes into Meng Yao’s face and making him feel suddenly as if he’d never left the brothel – that the Cloud Recesses had all been a vague dream, and now he’d woken up and lost it all. “How does that old fart Qiren expect you to pay him back for all he’s done for you? I heard the Lan sect includes a pretty face as one of its standard requirements…”

Meng Yao put his gaze above his father’s head and pretended to be deaf.

“It seems like rather a lot of effort,” one of his father’s attendants remarked. “Even if Second Master Lan wanted a boy to warm his bed, couldn’t he just buy one like any normal person?”

“Bah, boys,” his father said, and leaned back, waving his hands in dismissal. “Why would anyone bother with a boy when you could have a soft woman instead? Just as long as they’re stupid enough – you know, there’s nothing worse than a woman who’s talented and knows it, too smart, always trying to get above their station…”

“You’re thinking about that whore in Yunping again, aren’t you? The one that interrupted your dinner and made a scene, claiming you’d promised to take in the son she bore you?” the attendant said, laughing. “I told you, you should’ve just killed her for her impudence rather than just having her beaten and thrown out. That way the matter wouldn’t still be bothering you…”

“Go away, boy,” another servant said to Meng Yao, who was frozen stiff in belated terror, nausea churning in his stomach as he realized his mother could’ve gone out one day and never come back, and he would never have known why – or maybe it was that he’d been spending his considerable time and brain on pleasing someone who would have done that, who nearly had done that. “Your accent’s brought back bad memories, don’t you see?”

Meng Yao left.

No, to be more blunt: he fled. He ran away, hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see – belly full of regret and disappointment, crushed dreams feeling like broken shards of glass in his mouth and throat.

He tried to tell himself that it was better to find out now, when they were still distant, before he'd sold his soul for the futile chance to get that horrible man's affection, but he couldn't quite throw off the shame of knowing that if he hadn't heard such a thing up front, he probably would have done that. Would have humiliated himself like that, and for what? A man who regretted not murdering his mother?

He ran right into Lan Wangji, who was also on patrol.

Lan Wangji took one look at him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away from the main pathway and all the way to his uncle’s rooms.

Lan Qiren was still awake despite the late hour, writing something at his desk, but he set aside his brush at once. “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. “Wangji – Meng Yao – one of you report.”

“Meng Yao was on patrol by the Jin sect,” Lan Wangji explained as Meng Yao furiously tried to dash away his tears using his sleeve.

“Who permitted that? First year disciples aren’t permitted to patrol during discussion conferences,” Lan Qiren asked, his frown deepening. “It wouldn’t be proper – ah, but no, I recall now. I suppose it was inevitable. Wangji, well done, and thank you. You are dismissed.”

After Lan Wangji left, he turned his eyes on Meng Yao.

“You volunteered, didn’t you?” he asked.

Meng Yao felt his back go cold: Lan Qiren knew, then. It had never been said out loud by anyone as far as he knew, and yet it was clear that Lan Qiren knew who his father was – and probably his mother, too.

He knew that Meng Yao was – that he wasn’t anything more than –

“You are one of my most promising disciples, Meng Yao,” Lan Qiren told him, and poured him a cup of tea from his own pot, pressing it into his hands. It was finer tea than Meng Yao had ever had in his life, full of smoke and flavor. “The rules say Be loyal and filial, but they also praise reciprocity. You have not been recognized, and have not received your forefathers’ grace. You can fulfill your obligations to chivalry through your respect for the parent that raised you.”

Meng Yao stared down at the teacup. Lan Qiren had completely misunderstood the nature of Meng Yao’s concern – he was disappointed in what his father was, not worried about not living up to his obligations of being a filial child. And yet it was a little nice to hear that as far as Lan Qiren was concerned, the rules said that he could tell his father go hang for all he cared…

And that he ought to honor his mother, which was something no one who knew her had ever said to him.

“Even if she –” His voice stuttered. “Even if she’s a…”

He couldn’t say the word.

“Appreciate the good people is not qualified by class or profession,” Lan Qiren said, and his monotone voice was blissfully without emotion, as if this were just another lesson in class, and not the deepest hurt of Meng Yao’s life. “I have never met your mother, Meng Yao, but you are a good child – diligent, organized, sincere, with good judgment, and you clearly adore her. That tells me everything I need to know.”

Meng Yao burst into tears.

-

Meng Yao liked Lan Xichen a lot, but he also had to admit that sometimes, the older boy was, well…

“Dumb as a pile of rocks,” Su She announced.

“Do not criticize other people,” Meng Yao said piously, but then chuckled, shaking his head. “Say, rather, that he’s naïve and sheltered, and overly inclined to believe the best in people.”

“Like I said: dumb as rocks. How many times is going to get himself swindled into being someone’s sword or shield before he figures out that the problem is him?”

“Some people don’t have the capacity to understand the depths of humanity’s foulness –”

“Yeah, dumb ones.”

“Su She, please.” Su She held up his hands in surrendered. “At any rate, if Lan-gongzi is going to keep falling for people’s tricks, it’s beholden on us to help protect him.”

“You just don’t want Teacher Lan to be sad about something serious happening to his nephew,” Su She said knowingly, but he was already nodding. “All right, what are we going to do about it? He outranks us. We can’t exactly tell him to his face that he’s being…”

He paused.

Dumb as rocks went unsaid, but then, it didn’t need to be said out loud for the meaning to be clear.

Meng Yao sighed.

“You can only trick someone so many times,” he said. “If we want to keep him from getting tricked by other people, then we have to trick him first. And better.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lan-gongzi likes to save people,” Meng Yao explained. “He really sees himself as a chivalrous gentleman – he puts chivalry first, even though Teacher Lan says Learning comes first. That’s why he always sides with whoever he perceives to be the underdog in a given situation, no matter how wrong that impression is. That’s how most of the people who’ve been tricking him have gone for it: playing the victim, appealing to his sense of righteousness, pulling the curtains over his eyes to obscure what’s actually happening.”

“Okay. So?”

“So, we’ve both got miserable backstories – you being taken from your family at a young age and then bullied, me with my mother and, even worse, father. If we get him on our side, early on, he’ll side with us over anyone else – that way we can keep him from getting roped into other people’s private grudges.”

Su She frowned. “That seems a little manipulative.”

“It’s for his own good, and that’s what’s important,” Meng Yao said, and smiled faintly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Lan-er-gongzi?”

Su She jumped, turning around just in time to see Lan Wangji, who had been standing in the shadow of a nearby tree, step out.

He had a serious expression, as always, but a thoughtful one.

Meng Yao waited patiently.

“You cannot take advantage,” Lan Wangji finally said, and Meng Yao knew he’d won the most important ally in the battle to save Lan Xichen from himself. “That would change it from a virtuous act to a selfish one.”

“Like we need anything from him,” Su She said haughtily. “Maintain your own discipline.”

“Arrogance is forbidden.”

“It’s not arrogance if it’s justified! It’s just self-confidence!”

“Do not argue with family,” Meng Yao quoted, and was pleased to see both of them drop it at once. “Listen, we all share the same goal, and we have to start somewhere, don’t we? We’re stronger together than apart. Together, we can do anything, even protect Lan-gongzi.”

That and more, he thought as the other boys nodded, following his lead. Lan Xichen is just the start.

-

“The Wen sect will make trouble sooner rather than later,” Meng Yao said thoughtfully, one day. His friends turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m serious.”

Lan Wangji nodded, serious as always, but Su She scoffed.

“You can’t even convince that Wei Wuxian boy to leave poor Lan-er-gongzi alone,” he said snidely. “How exactly are you expecting to bring down the Wen sect?”

“I don’t convince Wei Wuxian to leave Lan-er-gongzi alone because Lan-er-gongzi doesn’t want to be left alone,” Meng Yao said. “Obviously. Isn’t that right?”

“You should call me by name,” Lan Wangji said, which wasn’t answering the question and definitely wasn’t denying anything. “You were saying, about the Wen sect?”

Meng Yao smiled.

-

“What brings one of Teacher Lan’s most promising disciples to the Unclean Realm?” Nie Mingjue said, peering at him thoughtfully. “You’re at the wrong time to be one of the usual messengers.”

Meng Yao smiled at him.

“I think you’ll find that we have similar goals, Sect Leader Nie,” he said. “When it comes to making sure that certain people in our lives don’t get hurt by the bad decisions of others, I mean. In your case, it’s your younger brother, who’s a friend of mine –”

Friend, source of information, it was all about the same thing in the end. Meng Yao didn’t have real friends outside the Lan sect, but he’d been very careful to cultivate good relationships with all his most important peers.

“- and for me, well. A teacher for day, a father for a lifetime. I’m sure Sect Leader Nie can understand the importance of protecting one’s father – right?”

“You don’t need to use any sophistry on me,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes. “If you have an idea on what we can do to stop the Wen sect before they go and burn someone’s house down, I’m all ears.”

By chance, Meng Yao did.

It was a good plan, too, daring and brave in equal measure. If it worked the way he hoped it would, he’d win enough fame to get Jin Guangshan to beg for him to join the Jin sect – not that he would, of course.

Meng Yao knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to get it, too.

-

“This is a lovely house, A-Yao,” Meng Shi said, running her hand along one of the soft tapestries on the wall. “Truly lovely. Whoever you rented it from has good taste.”

Meng Yao bowed. “Thank you for the compliment, Mother. I put a lot of thought into it.”

“You own it?” she asked, surprised. “But don’t you live up the mountain, with the sect?”

“I do. This is for you.”

“For – me? A-Yao! This is too much – how much must it have cost–”

“I saved the Lan sect’s core texts from being destroyed,” Meng Yao said. “I’m an inner sect disciple now – I could ask for a dozen houses like this, and they’d grant them to me without blinking twice. Teacher Lan would insist on it.”

“Teacher Lan,” his mother murmured. “That’s the one you’ve taken to treating as your own father, isn’t it? You’ve spoken so much of him, in your letters…”

“There’s no need to scheme,” he told her. “He wouldn’t notice your flirtations, anyway.”

His mother arched her eyebrows at him.

“He’s really oblivious.”

“Still…”

“Really no need,” Meng Yao said, and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Lan Qiren pulling him into a hug when he realized that the books – and Lan Xichen – were all safe from the Wen sect’s attempt to burn down the Cloud Recesses, and, later, again, that Wen Ruohan was dead. He may have deliberately schemed for that second hug, and he might or might not have plans for more. “He already takes me as a son.”

His mother relaxed.

“Good,” she said, and smiled herself. “So, A-Yao, was I right, all those years ago? Was the Lan sect a good fit for you?”

“Yes, Mother,” Meng Yao said. “Yes, it was.”

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #lan qiren #su she #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #a good fit

[cinnamonest]

Y’all are too nice to me I swear… here I am being horny and nasty on main and I’m getting encouraged, damn. But for real  ( ´ ω ` ) thank you so much!!

I’m gaining more confidence to post more smutty stuff and the kind of dark shit I like, so I might go back and make more nasty Childe content later on too… After Albedo, I got Razor and Zhongli coming up, and a few ones I just worked on for fun. But yeah, just in case it wasn’t clear for anyone who followed me, I’m going to be writing almost entirely dark content and some really nasty stuff, so just be aware of that, and don’t consume my writing if that’s something that may be harmful to you.

Albedo is so pretty… and such good dark content material… He treats you like a science experiment but has the audacity to make it hot smh

I haven’t seen a whole lot of him outside the cutscenes, so potentially ooc (as if yandere content isn’t already ooc, lmao)

Albedo - Yandere Profile

tw: general yandere content, obsessive behavior, stalking

tw (below cut): smut, noncon (seriously, you’ve been warned)

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Very much aware. In the beginning, it frustrates him. He’s never been particularly attached to anyone, outside of his former instructor. He’s always enjoyed being out on his own, spending extended amounts of time by himself – the desire to be around someone is a foreign feeling for him. He immediately notices how bizarre the emotion is for him, how it changes his behaviors. His self awareness combined with perceptiveness makes him able to acutely recognize not only how unusual this emotion is for him, but also how the extent of his feelings, the types of desires they ignite in him, is unusual even for “normal” people who aren’t social recluses.

He’s frustrated by his own actions, feels embarrassed at how attached he is to you, how easily you make him flustered and trip over his words. As he is a very aware yandere, he’s definitely afraid of rejection to some degree. He has no idea how to navigate feelings and interactions with other people, he’s never really had the desire to form a particularly strong bond with anyone before. As such, he’ll come across as very awkward, and he will interact with you less than most yanderes – he knows he’s just going to embarrass himself if he talks to you, right? He’ll just mess up and say something strange, so instead, he opts to watch you from the shadows, go to places where you are, but keep a distance from you, just being able to watch you makes him feel fluttery and overwhelmed. 

He will definitely be one to collect things from you. He collects plenty of things for the sake of science, this is no different. Or so he tries to tell himself, but he can’t delude himself even if he tries. He knows its weird, he knows its wrong, but the overwhelming urge to have things of yours is too great to resist. He’ll start off with more innocent things, but it will gradually progress to not-so-innocent… items of yours.

It may not be obvious, but he’s actually a fairly sensitive person, at least regarding you. He places a lot of value in what you think of him, and wants to ensure you’ll respond positively to him. He views it like a science – there should be some formula by which he can put in the correct actions, and produce a specific result. Unfortunately, unlike real science, there’s not much room for trial and error – he feels he only has once chance.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

It will take some time, as he’s got to get over his own nerves first. He’s torn between the fear of you hating him for such a thing, it would be the end of the world for him, but also the desire to pull you away from the world, to keep you hidden from others, to have you all to himself, to be the only person that gets to look at you. If you start showing positive signs, reacting positively to his gifts, expressing interest in conversation with him and going out of your way to see him, he’ll start to get more confident, think that he can afford to do something that might sour your opinion of him, hoping it will merely be temporary.

He’ll probably start to do so several times and back out. He’ll set out at night, make it all the way to your room and stand over your sleeping form, and he’ll start to worry, wonder if someone saw him, see holes in his plans, he gets too nervous and bolts. He’ll persuade you into being alone with him, and although its the chance he’s looking for, again, he’ll get nervous, worry about being caught, run through all the what-ifs, and miss the chance. Honestly, when he does finally take you, it will probably be not planned, but in the heat of the moment, a rash decision from desperation. Something like you coming to visit him to tell him you’re leaving the area, came to say goodbye, and he’ll panic, ultimately grabbing you by the arm as you try to leave and dragging you back inside, silently, but forcefully.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

Moderately difficult. Your best bet is to take advantage of his tendency to be absent minded when he’s absorbed in his work. He gets very lost in his thoughts, to a point where he’ll completely zone out and be oblivious to the world around him. On the downside, this means you won’t have much time to cover distance, he’ll be close behind the moment he realizes you’re gone.

The route he’ll probably take is actually one where you won’t need to be too restrained, because you’ll be taking… a little research trip. Out to the most freezing, desolate areas of the mountains. He’s convinced the knights he needs to stay there for his research, but in reality, he’s internally panicking, as he tries to figure out how to make this work – after all, you two can’t stay here forever. You’d be foolish to run out of the little cabin he’s bought, out into the perilous freezing cold and jagged, high slopes. At first, he thinks there’s no way you’d try it, so he’s content letting you have free reign to walk around as you please. If he has to leave for whatever reason, he’ll probably lock you into a single room, but he won’t chain you up, as again, he's really trying to avoid making you hate him.

If you prove to be determined to leave, he’ll be hurt, but mostly concerned for you. He’s actually not one to get too mad over an escape attempt – he’ll blame himself, or theorize it’s just a natural response your brain triggered. Against his first choice, he’ll end up having to get more strict with your restraints. If you get too whiny, though… you might trigger one of his more frustrated moments.

“I didn’t want to have to do this… I’m sorry. I can’t risk anything bad happening to you. Tell me if it’s too tight… I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t blame you. I know you’re probably panicking over all this, but you’ll get adjusted to it, I promise. Just… just give it some time… it’s not so bad, living with me, I promise.”

“Don’t be like that. You’re only tied up because you tried to leave. You should understand why you have to be kept like this… If you don’t want to be restrained, you shouldn’t have run out, trying to get yourself killed.”

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

For all his academic intelligence, he’s not highly skilled with people and socialization. He’s not too good at being able to tell when he’s being lied to, and he definitely won’t pick up on subtle manipulation. It’ll be pretty easy to wrap him around your finger, he’ll do what he can to make you happy.

Once he finds out you’ve lied to him, though, he’ll get pretty upset. He likely won’t trust you again, and will require proof of anything you say, or set out to find out if you’re telling him the truth or not.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He’ll try to accommodate you, giving you things you ask for, but he has limits. He’s too paranoid to let you have any contact with the outside world. You do have him wrapped around your finger to an extent, though. Whatever he’s doing at the moment, he’ll drop it in a heartbeat if you want to spend time with him in any way, even if its just you asking for food or to take a walk. He’ll be willing to take you for very short trips outside, no further than a few yards from the lodging, if only because he knows sunlight is vital to your health.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

The basics will be there – don’t try to leave, don’t be difficult with him, try to cooperate, be obedient. However, he’s also particularly overprotective of anything that can hurt you – even yourself. Under no circumstances can you handle anything that can hurt you – that means no cooking, no knives, no lifting anything heavy, no going outside without him. If you’re determined to cook something, he’ll have to stand right behind you, and watch while you do it. If you get so much as a little cut or burn, he’ll take over, insisting you go sit down after he tends to your “wounds.”

At the very beginning, he’ll be hesitant to punish you too much, as part of his plan to get you to like him. However, he can be a little easily frustrated, and your safety and well-being comes first, even if it means he has to make you upset. He will have to restrain you, take away what little privileges you had. If you try to bolt while you’re outside, no more going outside. If you try something foolish like attacking him with a knife when he gives you cooking privileges, you will lose said privileges. Really, the worst part of it all is the humiliation, being treated like a dumb, incapable baby that can’t do anything for yourself. He insists on doing everything for you, even down to bathing you and dressing you, even feeding you if you can’t convince him to take restraints off your hands. He’ll talk down to you in that way, too, talking to you as if you were a child.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

It’s a situation he’s not prepared to handle, and he’s unsure of what to do. It strikes fear in him that you might have someone else interested, so he has to get rid of them as quickly as possible. He’s not opposed to killing, if it comes down to that, but initially, he’ll try to work behind the scenes – expose something that will ruin their reputation, get them accused of a crime. This would also be one of the possible aforementioned situations that might cause him to kidnap you a bit earlier than he normally would, as well. If he can’t get rid of them easily, he’ll just take you away from them.

He will absolutely try to make you hate them, try to ruin your image of them, and he’s rather good at falsifying evidence for his claims of their behavior. With his alchemic skills, that sort of thing is easily possible.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

He gets more frustrated than anything, when you’re being difficult. This is mostly just him sighing quite a bit, speaking a bit harshly, even pouting and sulking a bit if you’ve offended him. But true anger in him is not pretty, and almost never happens. It’s a buildup, a slow rise that has a boiling point. If he reaches that point, he can definitely get mad enough to hurt you, it’s actually kind of terrifying in how sharp of a contrast it is to how he normally is. It’s a side of him that’s very difficult to draw out. He’s not one to yell or shout, no, his anger is a suffocating silence, he slams down whatever he’s holding as he stomps over to you, grabbing you by the arms hard enough to bruise, and dragging you by the hair to whatever he has planned.

With mild frustration outbursts, he will feel justified, but if it reaches that intense anger, he’ll usually give at least a little apology, tell you he didn’t mean to go that far. He hates to think of you fearing him, but ultimately, if that’s what’s necessary to keep you safe, then he can live with it.

Do they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

It’s an odd mix. On one hand, he sees you as utterly fascinating, the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on, more than any landscape or art he’s seen or made, an invaluable treasure to be kept on a high pedestal. Simultaneously, however, he will treat you like a child, thinks you can’t do anything for yourself. It’s a bizarre duality, but one he is consistent on. You’re precious, so very precious, and he’s undeserving of you, but at the same time, you need him to be safe and sound.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Of the genshin boys, he’s one of the most determined. He’s not good with people, and he doesn’t really have anyone particularly close to him left anymore. He tends to keep people at a distance. You sort of fill an space inside him that he never knew was empty, a void he wasn’t aware he had until it was consumed by thoughts of you. He doesn’t need anyone or anything else, so long as he has you with him, but he really, really wants it to be true that you love him. He doesn’t need you to even love him as much as he loves you – he doesn’t even know if that’s possible – but he just wants to know that, even if only in the slightest, his feelings are returned. He’s so distant from everyone else, but you wormed your way into his heart, even if you didn’t intend to, with your smiles and softness and kindness towards him. For the first time, he feels weak around someone, but in a way, it’s a good feeling. He wants to be able to be vulnerable, be weak, and not have anything to fear by doing so.

He’s lucid, though, so he doesn’t expect you to love him immediately. As he’s not good with words or displays of affection, he’ll get you all sorts of gifts. Rare items that you wonder how the hell he obtained them, beautifully crafted little trinkets from all his searching and time traveling, more clothes than you could ever wear. You’ll start to feel a little guilty, it’s so much, and you’re certain he doesn’t have that much money. He’ll blow it off, say it’s no big deal, but if you insist, he’ll have to start finding new ways to convey his affection. In captivity, he won’t stop trying, but he’ll understand why you might be angry. In that case, he will utilize what he’s learned from research in books he’s read. He knows that eventually, with him being the only one you have, the only company, the only one to talk to, the only source of touch, you’ll eventually have to cave. You’ll become attached to him, bond with him, whether you like it or not. He knows how powerful the affect of touch can be, and will make sure to hold you in his arms, keep you on his lap, make you crave the only source of human touch you can get. Dependency, he thinks, is the gateway to you loving him.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Drawings. So many of them. Much like his drawings he uses in notes, he’s found he tends to start scribbling a familiar face when his mind drifts off. He’s memorized every little detail of your face, every curve on your body. If you’re ever snooping around, you’ll eventually uncover a book of sketches he has solely dedicated to drawings of you. Drawings of you laughing, smiling, sleeping, drawings that you’re certain were of real events you were at, that you didn’t remember him being at. Every bit in perfect detail. If you confront him about it, he’ll be horrifically embarrassed, insisting they’re no good, or, if you’re upset, trying to reassure you it was all from his mind and totally not him lurking in the shadows as he watches you.

Also, if you want to make him happy, get him on one of his spiels about his work, his interests, anything that he can catch onto and go on and on about. He’ll catch himself rambling and apologize for being “annoying,” but if you reassure him, and express interest, that will make him feel particularly appreciated. It would be a primary way to get on his good side and manipulate him, or lull him into false security to make your escape, if that’s what you’re looking to do. But be warned, it will only work once, and he’ll be far too hurt to let himself indulge in sharing these things with you again.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Publicly, definitely highly reserved. He’s easily flustered, and thinks of sex in a very scientific way, for the purpose of procreation. For fun? He knows it’s enjoyable, but can’t separate it from his very analytic, scientific way of viewing things. It’s a formula, you touch this here and pull that there, and the result is supposed to be orgasmic bliss. He just isn’t very familiar with pleasure – he doesn’t drag out masturbation, even, as that would be a waste of time. He gets it over with quickly, taking short breaks during his work. He is a fairly high drive, though, and gets the urge fairly frequently, about once or twice a day.

He’ll be hornier with your presence, having to leave more frequently to get off to the little things you do, quickly getting himself off while recalling the mental image of you holding a pen in your mouth, the little moan when you stretch, the way your clothes fit to your frame.

Prior to abduction, he’s not particularly touchy at all, in fact, he’s very jumpy if you touch him. Once he’s gotten you alone with him for the foreseeable future, isolated, dependent, he’ll gain more confidence, be willing to give into his cravings to touch you, hold you, eventually progressing to groping you, moving his hands up and down your body, under your clothes, slowly peeling them off.

He’s initially a bit ashamed of his urges towards you, feels guilty every time he gets off to you, but will likewise gain more confidence once you're his.

A guy can only fight off the urge for so long before he cracks, before he can’t continue to care about the consequences. For him, that point is when he knows he finally has you all to himself – his worries fade, and while the guilt is still there, it’s far outweighed by desire.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

He does care, but as stated previously, it’s hard to fight the urge for so long. It will be torture, but for the first few days, he wants you to “adjust” to your new “home,” and not add to your panic. After that, though, he’ll try to assess your reactions. If you’re extremely resistant, he’ll give you more “adjustment” time. He can’t really hold off forever, though, and eventually, maybe a few weeks in, comes to the conclusion that if he just does what he wants, so long as he’s gentle and reminds you he loves you, it will help you get past the mental barrier in your mind. He’s convinced there’s simply a psychological issue, and that sometimes, people need a push. It’s like having a friend who can’t swim – sometimes, you just have to throw them into the water, help them get over that mental hurdle, and they’ll be grateful in the end. That’s what he tells himself to justify it, anyway. He has enough… anatomical prerequisite knowledge to know what’s good and what’s bad, and will take your body’s positive reactions as a sign of what you really want. Is definitely the kind to use that against you, holding up his fingers to your face after you cum on them, as if to prove a point.

“See? I told you, you just have to let go and give in to what you want… if you didn’t, my fingers wouldn’t be dripping like this, now would they?”

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

He wants to experiment on you. This manifests as him being something of a service top without really intending to be, even if you’re not exactly happy about it. He likes to watch your reactions, watch the way your body moves, test the pleasure you get from different things, discover what it is that you like, even if you weren’t aware of it. In particular, he’s fascinated by the fact that girls have so many types of orgasms. He’ll want to try them all, watch and see which ones are more intense than others, which ones make you convulse, makes your toes curl, your eyes roll back. Which erogenous zones make your breath hitch, make you twitch and whimper. Probably the type to be determined that he can make you cum just from something like sucking on your nipples, and he won’t stop until he achieves it. He’ll also want to try everything. At least anything that he thinks has some potential to appeal to him, mentally. He’s a busy man and hasn’t really taken the time to explore his own sexuality, and has virtually zero experience.

Edging, overstimulation, forced orgasms

Experimentation also means testing limits and thresholds. He’ll bring you up to the edge, learn to watch for the slightest of signs that you’re close, listen to your breath, watch your face, wait until you’re just so close and then draw back, stopping just short of letting you catch that high. Then he’ll let you drift back down, and bring you back up again. No amount of begging will make him show you any mercy, you’ll only cum when he’s decided he’s observed enough. He wants to push the limit, see just how close to the edge of orgasm you can get without spilling over, just how much it takes to drive you insane. He’ll also want to see how far you can go after it as well. Orgasm won’t be the end of his ministrations, no, he wants to see how much stimulation you can take. You won’t be able to get away from his tongue, he’ll grab you by the hips and slam you back down, continuing to lap at you even if you’re so sensitive it’s painful. Watching you cum will just make him rut into you harder, bruising and abusing your insides to a point that they’re so sore you can feel it long after it’s over. At first, he might feel a little guilty, and may very well after it’s over, but in the heat of the moment, he can’t fight the insatiable urge to listen to you squeal, feel you convulse, watch the tears from overwhelming pleasure run down your face.

He’ll make it his personal mission to see how many orgasms the female body is capable of within a given amount of time - per day, per hour, how quickly you can have them in succession. For scientific purposes, of course. Anatomy and human biology isn’t really his main field of focus, but he likes to expand his research horizons.

“Just one more… cum one more time for me, then we’ll be done. Come on… I know you can, just one more.”

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He’s actually good with children, usually. He has a calming effect on kids. He isn’t sure how he feels, though. To some degree, he fears his capabilities to parent, thinks he would be too cold to be a good father. But he also likes the idea of a protege, an heir to his title, one he can teach everything he knows. If he does end up having one, this fucking nerd man will read every book on pregnancy, birthing, and parenting that he can get his hands on.

Also, he’ll absolutely be one to track your cycles, even better than you can. He’s researched enough to know exactly when you’re most or least likely to get pregnant, and you can’t help but notice how much more he seems to cum in you when you’re at your most fertile. Nor can he deny how satisfying it is to watch his cum slowly drip out of you, watching you twitch with aftershock and slowly drift off in exhaustion.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Unfortunately for you, since overstimulation and edging are already normal and everyday for you, he’ll have to amp it up a bit if he’s trying to make you regret something. He might get rougher, abusing more pleasure spots on your body, keeping his hands, mouth, and cock occupied all at once with driving you over the edge until it’s painful. But if you’re exceptionally misbehaved, you might not ever get a release to his edging, instead left to suffer from being so close, tied up so you can’t finish yourself off.

In moments when he’s really, truly angry, the peak of it, and that blends with arousal, he’ll really, really throatfuck you. Grabbing the back of your head and shoving his cock down as deep as he can, holding you there as you gag and choke, feeling your throat convulse around him, desperately trying to pull back for air. The movements are harsh and brutal, pulling harshly on your hair, moving at a pace so fast you barely have a second to breathe. Thankfully, when it gets like that, he won’t last long, emptying out into your throat, holding your jaw shut and demanding you swallow. If any spills off on your chin, he’ll gather it up on his fingers, hold it to your face, and command you to open your mouth, suck it off, and swallow again. That’s at the peak of his anger, though, and you’ll have to substantially piss him off to reach that point. He’ll apologize later, holding you close, but his guilt doesn’t change the fact that it’s one of the most intense orgasms that he’ll have, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sometimes think of doing it again, even without provocation. He’s restrained enough not to, but the thought is there… and deep down, he’ll entertain the idea.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

The curves of your body, no matter how defined or faint they are, no matter the general shape of your body, to him it’s the most beautiful thing. He’ll definitely want to draw you, even if you’re not too keen on posing. He’ll run his hands up and down your body, squeezing every little bit of flesh he can, moving his palms over every little curve, every inch of your skin.

#yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere albedo x reader #tw: extreme content #tw: noncon #yandere albedo

[the-himawari]

A3! Outing Event Translation - A Love Song Dedicated to You (3/11)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

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Izumi: Just like last time, we’re thinking of including solo troupe stages along with performances with two troupes combined.

Tsumugi: The fans responded well to that, didn’t they?

Sakuya: In that case, why don’t we use different groupings from last time with Spring-Winter and Summer-Autumn pairs?

Tenma: Sounds good to me.

Tasuku: We were split into Spring-Summer and Autumn-Winter combos last time. I bet we’ll be able to pull off different performances.

Misumi: Yep, it’ll be super interesting~!

Izumi: Alright. We’ll work out the details step-by-step, so let’s wind-up the meeting for today.

Tsumugi: Great. Good work, everyone.

Azuma: Fufu. Sounds like it’ll be fun.

-pause-

Izumi: (I’m heading back later than I expected… We had a lot to discuss about the concert, so time just flew by.) (According to Mizuno-san’s report at the meeting, they’re being flooded with ticket requests. It looks like we can expect a rather large turnout.) (It’s getting lots of attention, so we need to prepare properly so everyone can have a good time…)

Guy: …Director?

Izumi: Huh, Guy-san? Are you on your way home from work?

Guy: Yes. You are late to return as well.

Izumi: I had a meeting about the concert.

Guy: I see.

Izumi: Meetings, preparations, rehearsals… there’s tons of things to do and that I’d like to accomplish, so I think I’ll be pretty busy going forward.

Guy: Indeed. It’s nice you’re working hard, Director. But please don’t overdo it.

Izumi: Right, thank you.

-pause-

Masumi: …

Tsuzuru: Masumi. Why don’t you get up already instead of just lazing around staring at your phone?

Masumi: I’m checking Director’s inste right now.

Tsuzuru: Director’s inste… um, doesn’t that rarely get updated?

Masumi: I know, since I have notifications turned on. But it’d suck if I missed it.

Tsuzuru: You sure are thorough. Anyways, you didn’t have class today?

Masumi: It was cancelled.

Tsuzuru: There’s no sign he’s gonna look away from his phone. *Sigh*… well I’m off to school.

Masumi: Okay.

*door closes*

Masumi: (Tsuzuru’s right—there’s no activity on Director’s inste. There’s no posts again today—) ? (A post about curry bread…? This isn’t Director’s account though. Did it pop up by itself in my recommendations?) “You’ll miss out if you don’t try them! Exquisite curry buns!”…? (It has a good number of likes.) “With ◎ value, ◎ flavour, and ◎ volume, it’s S-rank without a doubt!” … (…I have to tell Director about this.)

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#a3! #a3! translation #usui masumi #a3! guy #act! addict! actors! #a love song dedicated to you