#(IT MIGHT NOT EXACTLY BE THE HEALTHIEST BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND ILL DIE ON THAT HILL)

[fawndied-a]

❝  i will never leave you. it will be this, always, for as long as you will let me.  ❞

❝ ALWAYS. ❞

The word is echoed without hesitation. There is no wariness in her anymore, at least not when it comes to him. He ( Orphaner, savior, guardian, friend, father ) is one of the two people in the world who knows who she is, the closest thing she has left to family. It is the three of them, all alone in the world, together. And with Hannibal being who and what he is, it falls to Abigail and Will to hold even tighter to each other, to cling to the last shreds of normalcy allowed them as they play Happy Families with a man whose notion of loving them involves frame jobs and extremity-removal.

❝ You can't leave me, not ever. ❞ All those long, lonely months, in the basement or the house by the sea, she had relied upon the thought of him. We're waiting for Will, Hannibal's constant refrain, his promise that eventually the long stretch of isolation and hiding would be over. Once Will came to them, once Will was ready, the three of them would be together, as a family, and everything would be okay again. Not quite the way her life had been BEFORE, but as close to normal, to domesticity, as a serial killer could create for them.

Even the vague notion that, if she wanted it, Will might leave, has her alarmed. They need each other, the Shrike's daughter and the Chesapeake Ripper and the man who wasn't the Copycat. Nobody else could ever hope to understand them. They belong together.

She leans against him, curling her body inward like a fawn in the brush ( making herself small, vulnerable, appealing to the protective instincts of those creatures older and stronger than herself ), and laying her head on his shoulder.

❝ The three of us, we're conjoined. ❞

#✦ ∵ * ∴ 𝐕 : 𝐒𝟑 𝐀𝐔 › my skin has turned to porcelain : to ivory : to steel #accursedesign #✦ ∵ * ∴ 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 › a splash of blood on a kitchen floor : all that brightness inside me ? #(me banging pots and pans together: MURDER FAMILY MURDER FAMILY MURDER FAMILY) #(IT MIGHT NOT EXACTLY BE THE HEALTHIEST BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND ILL DIE ON THAT HILL)

[ofxwordsxandxletters]

Push Until I Break

Series: Wynonna Earp

Disclaimer: The plot is by request and the characters are borrowed in this work of fan-made fiction off of which no money is made.

Pairing: Hollirey

Rating: PG-14 for content

Thanks to the Hollirey server I’m a part of you get this angsty/fluff thing because we all agree that Bobo is bad at pain management or at least focusing on his own. So when he gets injured; he ignores it until he can’t with varying results.

As always, it’s laced with Hollirey…

*~*~*~*

Push Until I Break

To be fair, it hadn’t occurred to him at the time to be anything near concerned. He was a demon and it wasn’t Peace Maker. It wouldn’t kill him. Funny how that had become his gauge by which to judge the importance of things. Had Wynonna shot him? No? Then all was fine and he could damn well go about his day.

There is a nagging part of him that suggests maybe this isn’t the healthiest way to handle a situation but he pushes it down. There was stuff to do and he needed to focus. He had Revenants to handle and an heir to keep relatively amicable so no one got shot up in his compound.

Besides, the unlucky individual who had managed to stab him of all things got a very harrowing lesson on making sure the person he shoved the blade into was actually human and therefore could die like that. He should have been more aware of his surroundings. That sort of nonsense could kill someone. Well, someone else anyway.

A call from Wynonna has him making the trek to Shorty’s irritated that he yet again has to have a sit-down and wondering which idiot of his was going to be shaken and or tossed over the line until they actually thought better and makes himself comfortable at the bar. The twinge in his back worsens a bit, the weight of the coat and his shirt uncomfortable but that, too, was usual so he forces it away as he orders a drink. Might as well try and pretend civility.

Pretending was about all he had at that moment anyway.

So watching her saunter over has him telling himself to be downright pleasant if he wanted to not deal with anything resembling her threatening him with Peace Maker to add to his troubles. “Do your Revenants just like to push boundaries for no reason?”

He wants to drop his head onto the bartop but barely manages to keep himself from it before managing in what he hopes is a neutral tone, “Are you just figuring this out now?”

“So it’s nothing for them to just see how far they can take something then?”

Bobo gives her a flat, unimpressed look. “No. Did something actually happen or did one of the boys decide to amuse himself by doing something you can’t quite make a stink over?”

“The latter.”

“Then what am I doing here?”

“Can you reiterate…”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Earp!” he snaps, “You are being ridiculous about nothing and I’m not in the mood to cater to you! They’re going to keep doing this so long as you keep freaking out every time one of them comes into contact with someone. They know the rules and they obey. Everything else you are just going to have to ignore unless you’d like to drink twice as much as Holliday.”

He watches her look at him, really look at him and suddenly doesn’t like the way her brow furrows. “What, something on my face now?”

“Are you okay? You look….a little paler than normal.”

“Am I…” His back twinges hard and it’s a strain to keep from showing his discomfort, “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, you tell me, but you look off. You sure you’re okay?”

“If I wasn’t would it bother you?”

“Not me but I’m sure Doc would have a few complaints to make in that direction.”

He snorts before reaching for his drink. That it takes effort to raise it has his attention before he realizes that his vision was getting a little fuzzy.

The stabbing. Oh. Right. “Earp,” he says quietly as the adrenaline, as even his own stubbornness finally gives, “You’re gonna need to grab this bottle.”

“What, why?”

The twinge becomes a ripple and his teeth snap together a moment before he manages, “‘Cause I’m about to pass out.”

“Wh-what...Bobo? BOBO!”

His vision goes gray and then black as he feels himself tumble with the parting thought of, ‘Fucking hell why did it have to be in front of her?’

He doesn’t come back to awareness on Shorty’s floor, he finds which is quite frankly a kindness he wasn’t expecting. The faint smell of tobacco and whiskey, however, tells him exactly where he’s resting, his face in a pillow. “You know, John Henry, most gentlemen ask a man to their bedroom,” he remarks trying to sound casual.

“Most men don’t faint in the middle of a bar from a stab wound up through their back and between their ribs, Robert,” comes the response that warns him someone wasn’t happy.

“Wasn’t fatal,” he tries, “Didn’t really think it was going to cause me such grief. I’m sure Wynonna enjoyed that performance.”

“Despite you and Wynonna not being civil to each other in any public forum she does not truly wish you ill so no she did not particularly like the sight of you collapsing in the bar less when we peeled your jacket off to reveal your injuries. How is it that you still have no concept of takin’ care of yourself better?”

“Revenant, remember? If it’s not Peace Maker it’s not a problem.”

There is a huff before the bed would dip down and the feel of hands would be on his back careful about the pressure over his mark. “You need to treat yourself as more precious than that, Robert. You’re worth more.”

His eyes go half-lidded before he lets out a soft sigh at a particularly gentle touch. “N-not to point out the obvious here but...pain’s been something of a familiar friend for a while. I got used to it. Probably should have paid better attention but I had things that needed to be done.”

“You cannot do that, you realize. It’s not fair to you.”

“See, there you go again. Be gentle. Be fair. John Henry, I’m a goddamn demon. There’s nothing remotely soft or gentle or...a-ahh...f-fuck...don’t do that!” His chastisement is of course interrupted by the press of fingers right along the edges of the mark; a massaging motion that has him arching chasing that feeling.

“Maybe I should keep a closer eye on you then because Wynonna doesn’t trust you to follow the rules and I don’t trust you to take care of yourself. Everyone wins.” Bobo would make an argument but at that moment the man presses his lips directly against the mark drawing a low whine from him as he squirms.

“F-fucking hell, J-John H-Henry, if I agree will you stop the goddamn chatter and put your mouth to better use?”

There’s a low chuckle before would come, “Well now darlin’, I do love your negotiation skills.”

#Fanfic: Wynonna Earp #Bobo Del Rey x Doc Holliday #Bobo Del Rey #Doc Holliday

[onlyonewoman]

Shipping skills, lonely sailors & the love for a fandom

I came to the Black Sails fandom pit quite late. I started watching the show with my common-law spouse when we’d finished binge watching  season 1-3 of Game Of Thrones summer 2013 and asked ourselves what to do with our lives now. Well, since we had HBO and wasn’t gonna cancel it for ten months before we’d explored the supply a bit more, why not look up those series we might have a common interest for. Namely political humour and history. So, we decided for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and our old favourite Bill Maher on the political humour side and then Vikings and Black Sails on the history side. Since both series had the entire first season available, we could binge watch, which is exactly the way we both prefer. We are nerds and nerds will be nerding (yes, we actually use that made-up verb). We don’t have kids and we don’t want any, we’re both past thirty and to dwell in our books, movies, TV shows, video games and creative stuff is the central part of our relationship. We’ve lived together for more than ten years and literally the best thing on Earth for us, is when we both have a bunch of shows we’re following, sometimes together and sometimes each of us for ourselves, because that makes us happy. I mean, my c-l spouse is literally looking forward for the next release in the GoT book series, even if I’m the only one of us reading it… That’s about how important nerding is to us. Anyhow, Black Sails… At first I found it very hard to get into the show. The first five episodes or so, we were sometimes rightdown annoyed with the series. It’s only eight episodes in the first season, which made it even more irritating. Our impression after watching the first season was ”meh, at least it’s an historical show”.  At the time, I didn’t know what a fandom was… Or fanfics at all. I had definately NOT heard the word ”shipping”. When the second season came, we both got more hooked and I was absolutely stunned by the James/Thomas kissing scene, just sitting there gaping like a fool and my c-l spouse was like ”here we go again with the guys kissing guys stuff… I’ll just sit here and wait for my nerd to calm down”. I was still not into fandom at all, but later on, when season three came I finally got really, really hooked. I alredy knew very well that Vane would die sooner or later, maybe not in that season but c’mon, it’s pirate history and no matter how mixed up it is with fictional characters from TI and entirely new written for the show, anyone with a little knowledge about pirate history, knows that this wont end well for all the main characters. I was still very emotionally taken from the third season and when it was over I was in a period in life where I was out of a job for the first time in many years. I had a very difficult time to relax (I was quite ill from stress, but didn’t understand that until later) and since I felt empty, you know the way you can feel when your feelings have been built up a long time during a show and then suddenly it’s just over and you just sit there thinking ”what the fuck happened”. At least I can feel like that, so I started to re-watch season three. And then I realised there were loose ends I didn’t remember, so I re-watched the second season and then season three again. Which lead me to the conclusion that I probably had to re-watch season one as well – and of course continue with two and three. In total, I watched five seasons in this order: 3-2-1-2-3, catching up on all the little details I never see when I watch a show for the first time. Then, I started to search for reviews and interviews about the show and one day the almighty Google lead me to musemm and shinmaya-aka-fred on tumblr where I stumbled upon Blint. And I was like: what have I missed? No, this can’t be right… Flint and Billy, how could anyone even…? I have to re-watch this shit again. And while re-watching I sorta slipped into AO3 as well (thank you musemm, you lead me there without knowing it!) and I wrote my first fic The Savior (heavily inspired by ”Home is where he is” by @shinmaya-aka-fred​ ). At first it felt extremely strange to write a fan fic. I’d never done it before and I suffer from social anxiety with a very high shame level, so to actually allow myself (yes, anxiety issues are weird) to write a fan fic, or even try to, and in English which is not my native tongue, gave me lots of anxiety at first. I’d spent a lot of time on AO3 just reading fics then, but when I finally decided to make my on account and actually publish the first part of The Savior in May 2016, I had such a high rate of anxiety I was jumping from fear when I saw I was getting a comment on it: I like this, please post more!! I just love the part where Flint saves Billy, I always thought it's such an amazing beginning of their story <3 Thank you so much for this, I hope you'll post the other chapters real soon! That was @musemm (you are just the best!) and I was like ”wow, maybe this is not that kind of Internet forum where people are mean”. Then I read this: Please, please post the rest oh this! There's not enough Billy/Flint -stories (there could never be enough!) And you're an inspiration to me, because I've been thinking about writing some fan-fiction, but also don't speak english as my native language. This was lovely!

That was @fabulatio (and you are just the most fabulous!) and I realised that this really is all for fun. It’s not about being skilled in English and people wont care if it’s not perfect. And then I was like ”shit… people might actually want to reas this crap… I shuld finish it”. Then this came: Of course we are interested in more.:) I'm so happy to see more Billy/Flint writers.:) Keep it up! This is where I stumbled on @rufferto9 (you darling!) and I guess that’s where I realised how fun it was to actually write this for someone else, but still not feel any pressure. I write a lot in my native language, both private and public, and sometimes I feel a lot of pressure. With the fan fics and the anonymity, I don’t have to feel the burden of ”thinking fresh” or think about how the things I write can affect my name or work. I can do it all for fun and share it with other anonymous people who also do this for fun. I love it. It’s also a living proof that an anonymous Internet forum don’t have to lead to people being mean or trolling. I’ve only had ONE negative comment on my 49 works and that was from someone outside the forum (I closed my works from comments outside the forum after that, but I didn’t delete it. It’s still there on chapter 13 of ”A Very Angry Boy”):

Interesting story, but way too much time with Billy's whore. I have no interest in reading about Billy with his whore(s), it makes stories less enjoyable to read, so it's curious you frequent that story aspect. Anything gained is negated by experience of reading whore passages, I don't want to read that and question why you include that device, what do you think it adds? I answered it like this: Well, the whore part is not about the sex as an erotic experience for the reader, as I guess you figured, but about Billy learning to get comfortable with intimacy. I mean, he's been raped, he's insecure about his body and don't really know how to handle his own desires. He's scared, and who else is gonna give him the possibility to show that kind of weakness? A crew member? Hardly. The captain? No way! Or a sailor from another crew? Why should Billy show that weakness to anyone that doesn't do it for coin?

So, I guess it makes sense to me to add Billy's way from hating his own body, not knowing how to take pleasure in intimacy, to be able to enjoy sex. It's only been a painful experience to him before he met that whore, I mean, he's literally been sexually tortured, and the molly helps him to reclaim his body. That's what I think it adds: character developement and healing progress. I hope it makes sense to you :) I closed my work from anonymous comments after that, because I realised people who’re writing fics themselves, don’t seem to be critical in the same way. And since I’ve been writing for years in public, I’m no stranger to negative response and I have no problem to deal with it, but for me, this is all about fun. Writing fan fiction is a free time doing, something we don’t make money from, something we do beacuse it, to quote Captain Flint: ”Because it feels good.” This is why I write and read fan fics. It feels good. It makes me feel good to explore and create without the pressure of adding my real name to the stories. It makes me feel good to write without any sense of competition. To know that there’s always room for more people to join in, more stories to be written, more pairings, more ideas and that there’s no need to have perfect language skills or coming up with new ideas. That being inspired of someones work and make a similar story isn’t stealing but inspiration and a way of celebrating another person’s story. To know that I can share my love for Black Sails with other people I don’t know, and not having to open up about anything else than our mutual love for this show. And no one I know IRL, knows my alias on AO3 or Tumblr. People in this awesome fandom are using anonymity not to act like assholes (seriously, what’s wrong with people who can’t be anonymous without using it to be mean to people?!) or to compete and that is the healthiest way of socializing I’ve come across in ages. Nerds sharing their nerdy love for nerdy stuff and simply allowing each other to have a place where it’s all about having a good time and live out funny, weird or scary ideas without the pressure of thinking about ”what people might think” or ”wheather I’m good/creative/skilled enough”. I love you, BS fandom. You’ve changed my life. And I still have no idea how or where anyone can see anything even slightly close to romantic or sexual interest between Silver and Flint – and I’ve really tried! I find it quite funny how quickly my viewers counts and kudos rose on my stories with that couple, compared to stories without them – come on, don’t you silverflint people ever long to read about another pairing EVEN if you’re shipping this one?! – and now I’m in the depths of my longest story ever ”An English Rose In December” and I’m still a bit shocked about how I ended up writing so much about a Silverflint relationship. It’s actually the second longest Silverflint story on AO3 now and it’s not even done yet. I don’t understand how that happened… I love to play with these characters. Love to give them different personas than in the series and not make Silver cocky, confident and manipulative. Love to make the battle for power between him and Flint to an old-fashioned historical, arranged marriage story, where the love must be built up slowly if it comes at all. Where manipulative smiles, sexual urges and schemes are only a small part of the relationship and the battle for power is about something much more difficult: to accept a life with someone you’ve not chosen, who’s not chosen you and how to deal with your feelings, with your partners feelings, with both your pasts and with a society where marriage has nothing to do with love and everything to do with power. I love to write my story and most of all, I love this fandom and all the joy it gives me on daily bases. The praises I’ve gotten from my public writing in my real name – the writing most people sadly believe is the only writing that really matters – hasn’t given me half the joy all the ”oh my god, this is so sweet <3<3<3” comments on my fics on AO3. Maybe because no one has to give me praise because they know me or know how hard I’ve worked on a piece. When I see a comment on one of my stories on AO3, I feel genuinly happy and grateful – and proud for knowing I’ve given someone a good time with my story. Because I love to read others stories. It gives me great pleasure and want the person who’ve written it to know that. Don’t ever be afraid to comment on a story you love! Don’t worry about your spelling, your grammar or ”how it may appear”. I’ve been there, I’ve been afraid to write in another language than my own, afraid to not be good enough, to not make my stories genuine enough and to leave ”too silly” comments. I say: screw that! The kudos and comments are a fan fic writers paycheck. More than once has an ”omg I love this” comment or a ”you’ve got kudos” mail made me crack the first, genuin and wide smile on a crappy day, and I’m quite certain I’m not alone in that regard. What I really wanted to say with this suddenly fucking LONG text wall is: *Black Sails fandom – you’re the proof that Internet can be a place where anonymity can be used to spread kindness, support, fun and love, and I’m so grateful I found you. *Never stop nerding! When season 4 is over and we’re experiencing the ”my series has ended” trauma, let’s keep nerding no matter if our favourite ship reached shore safely in the end or not. *Try to widen your pairings… I know, I have my favourit ships as well, but why restraining ourselves? The show will make some of us disappointed, no matter if we’re Silverflint, Blint, Gunnboner, Madisilver, Bonnyrackham or Bonnymax shippers. Not all ships will reach safe shores (if we’re really unlucky, we’ll end up with NO surviving ships and lots of fucking wrecks) and I know for myself I will feel a lot of difficult emotions when the season is over (probably also during the season, because holy shit, those teaser clips are NOT calming!) because it’s been so intense. I hope that more people will write stories about pairings we know CAN’T happen (like Billy/Vane, Thomas/Flint, Miranda/Abigail or why not Low/Idelle – only our imagination sets the limits here!) and pairings we know is highly unlikely to happen (like Silver/Flint, Billy/Flint, Silver/Billy or a repetition of Max/Eleanor) and pairings that already have happened or still have a chance to happen, have a short time of sweetness or even survive to the end (like Silver/Madi, Max/Anne, Billy/Ben, Idelle/Featherstone, Eleanor/Rogers). Or why not do like our freaking fabulous Fabulatio and do a Flint/Billy/Thomas? (Because if you haven’t read ”The life lost from us” already, you really should!) Point is: when the show is over, it will be painful for us, no matter if we’ve been shipping one or many couples, or no couple at all, because it will be an emotional and violent ending with LOTS of deaths. I’m alredy trying to prepare myself to Rackhams very likely walk to the gallows, to an eventual destruction of the Maroon camp with Madi’s people being taken by the English and sold to slavery. I try to prepare myself to the possible beginning of Billy Bones’ increased drinking and development to a bitter, lonely and cruel alcoholic, no Gunnboning OR Flintboning (or even, horrible thought: a Billy Bones fucking a woman, because that would actually make me pissed.) If they’re not gonna make him attracted to men at all after all these teasers with brothel visits where you can’t tell the whore’s sex, rainbow colored belts and a necklace pendant reminding suspiciously much about the male gender symbol pointing straight down instead of up to the right, no dialogue with women – or about women if you don’t count Billy’s questions about ”Mrs. Barlow” – and the way he swallows and lets his eyes linger on Ben Gunn (or by all means, the way he’s looking at Flint like he can’t decide wheather he wants to kill or fuck him) in a way he’s not done with anyone else in the series (sorry, Asheboners, but the few seconds he looked at Abigail doesn’t necessarily make him straight or even bi). Maybe I’ll be an unlucky Gunnboner in the end, seeing Billy make a brothel visit to a woman while Ben will only remain an ally he’s not even hugging. Maybe Flint will never have another kiss from a man, not from Silver or Billy or anyone, and make me cry because that would just be fucking cruel. Maybe all we end up with is Silvermadi, Ellewoodes (my new name for Eleanor/Woodes) and Bonnymax where Anne is devestated for losing Rackham at the gallows. Maybe non of us get what we really want, or even with our second or third wish if our main ship doesn’t reach shore. What we do know is that no matter how Treasure Island ends, Black Sails wont end in perfect connection with that story. The series creators have said recently that season four wont fit completely into Treasure Island so who knows? Jonathan Steinburg said this in an intwerview: ”What we ended up deciding was to treat Treasure Island as a story that was written based on historical events that take place on the show. That book is clearly written in a different tone than the show; to not be able to acknowledge that puts you in a lot of awkward positions in terms of trying to literally marry the two narratives. By the time you get to the end of the season, it’s clear that [the two narratives] are married in a bunch of ways — but we didn’t feel the need to treat it as though it was the next page for the end of Season 4.” So, who knows? All I know is how much joy the series and the fandom are giving me on daily basis. Both as a reader and as a writer. And as writer, I ask all of you who’re registrated on AO3, either as both writers and readers or as readers only: Don’t forget to comment! Even if it’s just a ”Nice story!”, it’s dearly appriciated by most authors, I’m quite certain of that. Use the AO3 and the anonymity as an opportunity to be more ”shameless” in commenting. In the world outside fandom, where we need to act adult, where it’s not cool at all (especially not for people who’re past 30 – and heaven forbid if they’re childfree WOMEN past 30!) to be attached to a show, a character or a pairing that’s ”not real”, giving praise can be quite restricted where it’s important to not be ”too much” or sound ”unprofessional”. I love you, Black Sails fandom. Stay awesome, shameless and ridiculous! The world needs this shit. And @thewalruscaptain and @yasae... Just all the kisses in the world to you <3

#black sails #fandom #shipping #ao3 #fan fic writing #awesomeness #blint #silverflint #silverbones #gunnbones #who the fuck knows how this will end