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veralovemail · 3 years

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Hi! I would love myself a matchup if it's ok 👉👈

I'm female and pan, I'd prefer one of the males tho, Survivors please!

So uhhhh I differ in my personality a lot depending on the situation! I'm more of a loner around strangers IRL— shy, quiet, I don't like interacting and prefer to stay by the sidelines since being in the middle makes me uncomfy.

I try to be as polite as I can, even keeping in my opinions and pain a lot as to not Hurt anyone. I also tend to blame myself a lot for bad situations I'm a part in unless I know I absolutely didn't do anything!

Also I'm quite hot headed and have a bad temper, though I'm working on it! I have quite the problem with guilt and it comes to me fairly quickly when I do something bad.

Ah yeah I'm really forgetful and also really impatient KNRKS

Now- online!!

I'm a lot more open and chaotic. I like to tease my friends and jokingly make fun of them, etc. I try and stop when they tell me to, but I might understand it as them just joking too if they write it that way in my eyes-

I try to look on the positive side for them and their situations and am always willing to make someone happy even without words since it makes me happy too. I'd say I'm caring to a fault- I don't let loose until they finally do something healthy that they've been avoiding and I do get rather angry if I'm not taken seriously with that, causing me to maybe lash out at someone unwillingly,,- and then guilt pops in like "hi there 😍" KDHDJDJ

Anyway,

I encourage anyone to vent, though I'm not the best at giving advice. I'm more of a person who likes to listen and give support if they need it. Oh yeah- my attention span is REALLY short (as short as me good ol' 5'1 me aNENSJJSJD) so I get distracted pretty easily and procrastinate then.

As for hobbies: I love to draw! (As you might know-)Music is my life (especially Jazz) and video games are, too. Though mostly singleplayer Games since I only really like multiplayer with friends-

What else can I write..

Maybe like- I'm an ISFP-T And I think it was 5w6 that I was given by another test

I also got Philophobia, the fear of falling in love because of bad experiences but I'm tryna work on it!!

I guess I can also write about my appearance? I've got short, curly but chaotic black hair that's p much swept to the side- I'm definitely not that skinny lmao- and as I've said before, I'm 5'1! I usually wear casual clothes (hoodies, e.g!! They're so comfy...) I also got brown eyes and glasses!

I think that should be it.. ah yeah! In your introduction, you should prolly add your ID for others to add you because name search doesn't work! :0

Ok that's really it now- take your time, don't rush yourself and stay safe and hydrated!! 💕💕 Hope your blog takes off!

Sorry for my English by the way- I'm German so I might've messed up on a few things!

OH MY LORD I DID NOT KNOW THAT I HAD TO PUT IN MY ID... oml... thank u for telling me that. and don't worry about it, i can see how it'd be difficult (i actually studied german for my gcses :], it was very fun) but anyways! tysm for sending in btw!! i loved writing this, i hope u enjoy - mod vera ♡

i match you with ... naib subedar!

he kinda takes on to your quiet personality, unlike some of the other people around the manor. it's relaxing to be around somebody who doesn't talk much.

you two most likely met when robbie came over to the survivors' side of the mansion, jokingly demanding sweets... but it most likely sounded authentic. and oh god, is that an axe-

you two accidentally locked eyes but you both had a " ah shit, here we go again " face. it just kinda went from there.

at first, he's a tough nut to crack, but if you try hard enough, within a month or so you gain his trust and he .. deems you a friend?

you both kinda start falling for eachother after a period of time, but naib is great at hiding it BUT SIKE, so are you! it's like a game of who can pine for the other in the most subtle way possible.

however, if you tell him about your own troubles with falling in love, he may just open up a little too about his own troubles.

it's takes a while for you two to build a relationship, but eventually (after a lot of rescues, late night hangouts and just being near eachother) you make it!

when he learns about your more chaotic side, naib tries to keep up with you as best he can, he may just need a little tug to do so.

he loves your smile, especially the one you have when you're talking about your passions.

he also tries to help with your temper, but he's just as bad as you are.

however, he's there whenever you have a bad day - he can almost instantly tell, even if you try keep it to yourself. it could be the way you look at him, try to smile or talk, he does notice the change in your aura.

since your shorter than him, he likes holding you. it makes him feel like he's just protecting you from anything and anything, especially on one of your bad days.

he likes your optimism, looking on the good side of every situation. he once saw you trying to comfort robbie when he started crying about not finding any sweets around and you told him "look on a brightside robbie! now we know for next time to stash some away for you before we eat it all!" AND OH GOD, IS THAT AN AXE?

naib gets frequent nightmares about his time being a hired merc, so sometimes you may get woken up at 3 am because he's a bit distressed and needs a bit of comfort.

other times, he just finds holding you while you're fast asleep enough to put him back in a coma for the next 2 hours.

naib also encourages you to talk to him about stuff. whether it be what made you mad, how much of a bitch vera can be, ect. he's there for you and that man is never gonna let you carry your burdens alone.

saying that, you also have to remind him that he can't carry his own burdens sometimes and when you encourage him to talk to you about what's upsetting him, he'll most likely tell, depending on how bad it is.

he also grounds you a lot!! if you tell him about your forgetfulness, he's most likely going to try and remind you.

" hey, [ name ], you did bring [ item ] into the match, right? "

" um... "

" goddamnit [ name ], i thought i reminded you "

naib takes it upon himself to rescue you, or keep you within his general vicinity if you're in a match with him. he does know you can kite very well though! he just wants you near him for a bit of reassurance.

he can be mean sometimes, but he means it in the most endearing way possible since most of it is sarcasm.

you two kinda have " stab as a warning " vibes so nobody really opposes the two of you. even norton. not even freddy dares to oppose you because the last time he did, aesop almost had to prepare his equipment to embalm the poor fella.

when you lash out at someone, naib is there almost immediately to take you away to calm down and comfort you when your guilt kicks the door down and goes " Hey girlie! Hold still 😎 "

sometimes you have to do the same for him because you both have a tendency to lash out.. but.. never at eachother? you two kinda agree on the same things, there isn't much to exactly disagree on.

please draw him!! watch him while he's training in the garden and draw him, or just a few silly doodles of him.

he likes looking at your drawings, it kinds boosts his ego knowing that he's worthy enough to be drawn.

if he finds out that you like music, he'll tell you about nepalese music, or at least what he knew of it - if you both get engrossed in it, he may try and get you some records to play.

teach him how to dance, if you can. it'd make listening to music together way more fun.

he's very content with you!! he likes kissing you out of nowhere, too. you could just be chilling and naib would come up to you, turn you around and give you a smooch outta nowhere. but only in private.

i feel like neither of you would be big on pda, you just stick to holding hands around the manor.

if this were in a modern setting, you two could probably play a game like phasmaphobia together just for funsies.

all in all, your relationship with naib is mutually beneficial and robbie has learned to never ask for sweets again.

i hope you enjoy this <3 it's my first time writing naib too so i apologise if it's not very good </3

#idv x reader #idv #identity v #idv imagines #idv writing #naib subedar #idv mercenary #identity v mercenary #idv naib #matchup

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insidiousflame · 2 years

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1/7/2022

New Year's definitely did not feel like new years. Maybe it's the fact that we weren't able to party over at saulo's parent's place like usual, but also because covid has thrown everything off. All the fun things planned continue to be thwarted as the contagious weaker variant consumes the US. But I also think I am just spiritually/emotionally not ready to start over or begin again. I really feel like I need to continue to hibernate and rest and recuperate before starting again with new goals and ambitions. I have been going and going for the past 3 years since starting my idol hobby. And I've improved a great amount, especially in my dancing/performing now that I look back. I've learned a lot from all the videos and the few stage appearances. But I've been overworked in every aspect, especially with work life. I just need to continue to go with Winter and allow myself to rest and heal as much as possible. And maybe by the spring time, I will actually feel refreshed and motivated to begin again. I'm not quite sure what my new goals or vision will look like, but I really do enjoy the connectivity I have with the idol community still. Especially when you don't really have other friends to talk to or be with regularly who are also working on similar things. I don't know if trying to do "idol" activities will do much for me. And by 'do much' I mean...helping me grow a bigger audience. Having a schtick helps with branding for sure. And getting into this stuff also has granted me spaces on stage. I AM pretty sure I still want to go through with participating at Metrocon's Anime Idol by myself. I know that is something I want to do for myself. I don't think I've ever sang/performed alone on a stage like that. The new song I want to try and do for it is challenging and will require some practice vocally. But I'm hoping I can get it really comfortable and sounding great. I want to do my best but also have fun while doing it. Nothing too stressful or demanding. Just enough to feel like I put my power out there and enjoyed the experience rather than stressing about it. After work yesterday, it has been confirmed that my team lead is officially out with Covid. My team mate Cole confirmed for me and told me he emailed corporate about her still being in with symptoms and everyone being aware of it. Hopefully that does something but...i doubt target gives a shit. At least our store doesn't seem to. As for closing the store, if it wasn't for being paired with Johnny, we wouldn't have been able to get everything done. He's the only one who works just as hard to keep up to date with things and works hard to make things happen. We were still drowning a little but we both did our absolute best. And then at the end of the night fucking style lead Cheeks had the audacity to say all the leftover abandons not sorted was OUR FAULT. LIKE WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO KEEP UP WITH. We aren't just standin around doing fuck all. We've been nonstop grinding and trying to keep up since we got there. The fucking audacity. honestly. Maybe my other team members dont do jack shit, but me and him certainly do. So shut the fuck up. Anyways, tomorrow me and chris are going to hang out with kait and saulo finally!! We wanted to much sooner but of course....they caught covid. But are better now. I'm looking forward to finally having some nice friend time and enjoying myself. She claims to know how to make a proper matcha latte buuuuut she sure wasn't explaining it correctly. It aint just tea with foam on top. It's mixed with the milk, THEN with extra milk foam on top of the mixed milk mixture. She tryna say it's more water than it is milk and honey thats not true. But she says she's gonna show me so....we'll see. I had a good cup of tomato soup today. My scale is very inconsistent and where it WAS saying 130...now it's 131-132 area. Is it my sodium intake?? Idk...Just weird how I had once saw 129 for a small window and then i've gained back that much. I've gotten through 4 days of staying under 1200 calories so idk what my body is doing. Or the scale. Who

knows. I guess once 7 days are completed I will see. Speaking of diet....I ordered some ingredients from Target to see about making a vegan alfredo recipe!! Fingers crossed it tastes good. I'm sure it won't be anything as good as or identical to real alfredo...but any amount of heavy dairy i can keep out of my diet...the better. lol And if it's a win for me, maybe I'll replace my alfredo with that? Slim chance but...let's try it! I can throw in my leftover chicken from the tacos into it for my meal. :3 I think I might be a little lactose intolerant cause sometimes alfredo will give me the runs or at least some inner discomfort and gas....ick. Anything to avoid that and gross bloating. Sometimes my bloating is so bad it looks like I'm pregnant and its just horrible to look at. I'm sure all the carbs have done it too...My diet is sodium and carbs. And fast food. I actually have managed to not eat any fast food for the past 4 days! Here's to a week of success! Ah....but I'm pretty sure we are gonna order pizza when with Saulo and Kait. Might ruin my diet a little bit. But it's just one day. I'll do what I can to be healthy up until that meal. Y'know...it feels nice to get all my feelings and thoughts out. That way I am much less likely to just dump on social media as well. lol Oh! And I finally made that call to the therapy office, but they're closed today so I just left a message. Still have to set up an appointment but...each step gets me closer! There was lots of interesting questions in that packet i had to fill out. One that made me realize...I really don't have enough 'fun' in my life. I mean...when I was in Auracle I had fun moments and practices with them. But...yeah we know how that ended up. The fun didn't outweigh the stress anymore. Oh shit speaking of which...I'm going to be meeting up with them this Sunday for Sushi. And I decided to go with the Sushi resturaunt closes to them (an hour from me...) because it just looked much nicer and possibly better options. I don't want our reunion to just be at a small uncomfortable place, yknow? So I figured it would be worth it to enjoy our time together better. I'm a bit nervous tbh...My feelings about things, and them, have been a bit mixed. But i'm hoping whatever hurt or negative feelings can be squashed and washed away soon. I just want my friends back. And maybe it will never be the same...but maybe it could still be better fit for where we are all at in life. I know i won't be seeing them often at all.....and who knows when we will see each other after this arranged meeting. But, there just needs to be that closure. And I hope we can achieve that. I know Evie is continuing to move on with a positive attitude, but Maya is clearly way more hesitant and bothered. But I'm not going to put any pressure or shame onto myself about what happened. Let's just move on and get better. Other than that, next week all my shifts are CLOSING. And... :) I hate closing. Especially with how things have been it's the absolute worst. But y'know what....just gotta....get through it. Deep breath....keep going.

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