#(also I remembered that I could queue things on tumblr and considered it for this ongoing artdump but like. for why)

[cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut]

Take Me Back to Paris!

Oh gosh, I wasn't gonna do this so soon but I've given two family members a separate rundown of the entire event and it has fired me up to write about Paris after all.

TLDR: I had a great time, met great people, and I love all the photos. The event was not well organised, but the joy it brought outweighs that aspect, and I already wish I could turn back the clock and live it all over again 💛

Firstly, those three hours of queuing on Friday night will now always be written into my bones. I'm gonna be a little old man with no memories left someday and my grandchildren will keep wondering why I'm talking about some scandalous three hour queue! In seriousness, I'm so glad we stuck it out in the queue because it made Saturday morning so much easier.

The opening ceremony was a journey...Lots of hype, lots of screaming. This was also where I realised I was excited to see everyone's outfits, and they all looked amazing quite frankly.

On Saturday I started with the autograph and selfie with Ronen, which was a delight. I got to tell him about Tarlos being the first time I've seen such a beautiful, healthy relationship between two men my age on TV before. He asked me if there's nothing like it even on Scottish TV, and I told him there isn't. He also said they don't seem to meet many fans from Scotland, so I liked having that brief chat. I asked him to sign a picture from the Tarlos wedding, which I was also gonna ask Rafa to sign, and he wrote "Hi, Jamie." Lol. I asked him if it was okay to hug him and he said yes, and that was a lovely moment.

Then I queued for Rafa's autograph and selfie. In this queue I met the delightful @dreamingofmickeywaffles, which is the first time I've ever met a stranger and shared my tumblr name, only for them to respond that they'd read one of my stories recently and liked it. That was a lovely moment, and I really enjoyed our chat. Talk to me about Chicago Fire any time!

Rafa is such a sweet guy, honestly. I told him the same thing I told Ronen really, and it was lovely to be able to thank them both for Tarlos in those moments. I also gave Rafa the card I'd written him. I love how both the selfies came out, and now I have the wedding picture with both of their signatures, which brings me So. Much. Joy. I also asked Rafa if I could hug him, and that was lovely too.

Next was the panel with both Ronen and Rafa, which I thought felt low key and fun. There are clips out there now where Ronen says the thing about how Carlos is TK's honeymoon, and dear lord does he know how to get us right in the heart. This was also a place where I was like, oh wow, Rafa puts so much consideration into his answers, and is clearly a very philosophical person in his thinking. I can't remember if it was this panel, but there was one where Rafa was giving a very considered answer to someone's question, was getting quite deep with it, and Ronen spotted someone taking their phone out for a photo and, mid Rafa's profound response, simply stuck his tongue out for the camera. This sums up a lot of their energy over the weekend! Loved it.

The individual photos were so much fun. Aside from being suddenly struck by the realisation that hunger was becoming a serious problem, and being so warm in Ronen's queue I truly had a moment of thinking I might faint! By this time of the day Ronen had brought energy juice to the panel and said he was crashing hard, but I think we both look great in the picture haha. Aside from the selfies, which just naturally seem to come out better (the boys knew how to pick a good angle) I think this is my favourite picture of all the ones I got, actually.

Conventions are amazing but a weirdly big thing to put your body through! By the time I got my pic with Rafa they were asking people if anyone was willing to wait until the next day so that Rafa could actually leave for the day as he was already there later than intended, and Ronen, at least, had gone home already.

It was not a very well organised event, really. @carlos-in-glasses has talked about this in their own rundown of the event, and I really just echo it all. The chaos was worth it, but the chaos was also very stressful at times.

The actors clearly felt this too. In the meeting room on Sunday morning, I can't recall if it was Ronen or Rafa who asked if we were all having a good time. We were all very enthusiastically saying yes, and then he asked if we felt the event was well organised, and the room went totally silent. It's a shame that the disorganisation affected everyone (and I also saw it affecting the staff at the event as well so I don't blame them individually at all). I think having a few more stewards on the ground would have helped, as well as better signposting and an accurate schedule, or rather a more comprehensive way of updating the schedule for everyone to see. We were told the online schedule would change in accordance with any alteration throughout, but this did not seem to be the case. This did lead to a lot of uncertainty and worry over people missing the things they'd paid to do.

After the meeting room on Sunday was the 911 lone star panel, which was just a delight. I only went to two panels over the weekend but I loved them both. The cast talked about how well they get on outside of the show, and I think that really comes across when you see them all together. Rafa said his first impression of Ronen was that he was slightly off rhythm in the rehearsal for the honky tonk dancing scene. Ronen disputed this and said he "slayed" the final scene, and Rafa replied, "Oh sweetie, that was the 20th take."

Next up was another autograph and selfie with Rafa, and then with Ronen. I asked Rafa to write out part of an answer he'd given someone in a panel the day before, to someone looking for advice for people who struggle to love themselves and accept themselves as they are. His whole answer to this was beautiful, and on my picture he wrote, "Know that your heart is always your solution."

There was confusion about the queue for Ronen here. He was scheduled to be doing autographs but was actually in a meeting room, which the staff at the queue were not aware of but @actuallysara's input saved the day. I think we queued for roughly an hour? We were then given priority numbers to come back to his afternoon signing and go to the front of the queue. My favourite part about this is that when the afternoon session came and we were waiting for Ronen, the schedule was still running behind, and when Ronen arrived at last he said, "Don't worry, the eagle has landed."

I gave Ronen the card I wrote him, and asked him to write out one of his song lyrics for me, and he seemed hyped to be asked that, which was lovely. We talked a little about his music and what it has meant to me recently, and he said the line I requested ("Swimming back to shore so you are safe with me') was one of his favourites that he's written, and he sang it very quietly as he wrote it down. He said he thinks his all time favourite line of his is "You should be my memory." I told him I love that song too but so many of the lines are about people not loving each other anymore so it felt strange to request a line from that song. Ronen laughed and said, "Yeah, like, 'you broke my heart!' " He said the band are releasing an EP this year as he has lots of time to write now. I really enjoyed getting to talk to him about music.

Next up was the autograph and selfie with Sierra, and oh man, she's so lovely. I asked her if she was enjoying the convention and she said she was having the time of her life, and that she was so grateful to be there. She said, sarcastically, that she wasn't sure if this was coming across. I said it came across and her energy was just so great. I wanted to tell her she was radiant, but decided this was too much! She was, though. She was just delightful, and I love the selfie we got.

I ducked out for a drink with @carlos-in-glasses and @meditating-honey-badger and co. which was very much needed. We had such. a nice time just sitting and chatting.

My last things of the day were the photo op with Natacha (who looked stunning, dear lord) and Ronen, and then a photo op with Ronen, in which I asked if we could do a sunglasses on photo (he was definitely hungover and I love that for him) and so we did.

And yes, as has been mentioned before, seeing the actors around the hallways was so surreal at first and then just became oddly normal. @carlos-in-glasses and I, as we left on Sunday evening, talked about how strange it felt that we weren't just going to see them all milling around tomorrow as we'd gotten so used to. We saw a lot of them just waving to people, or just saying hi as they passed. Honorary mention to Ronen walking through the lobby with an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

Oh gosh this post is long. I truly had an amazing time in Paris. There are things that could have been better organised, but these imperfections pale in comparison to the joy this event brought me. The actors were lovely, I struck up conversation with very sweet strangers in multiple queues (oh the queues), and all the photos and merch I've come away with are perfect. And I met some amazing online friends and became in person friends!

I loved meeting @actuallysara, and thanking them for the guide to the convention, without which I would have definitely made some mishaps! It was so lovely to chat between events.

@noxsoulmate it was so good to meet you as well, and I love the selfie we took together! Your energy the whole weekend was just delightful, and your joy was absolutely contagious.

@meditating-honey-badger, I had such a great time getting to know you and your awesome companion. Thank you so much for reaching out to me on Discord all those weeks ago! I really do hope we get to see each other again sometime in the future.

@carlos-in-glasses where to start! I would have been lost without you on this journey, both literally and metaphorically. I feel like we just clicked as well in person as we had online, and I loved how effortless it was to talk in depth with you about life and writing. I will never forget the rooftop bar chats about Tarlos and fanfic, and I hope we get to do that again someday, if not in Paris then maybe somewhere in the UK. You are just so kind and lovely, and I feel so lucky to call you my friend 💛

I don't know if next year's convention will be viable for me, as I found myself in somewhat of a unique financial position to be able to afford it this year. Also, while it was a beautiful experience, it was also a lot. So that's a question for future me. For now, the magic of this event is gonna stay fully intact, and I am gonna be caught daydreaming about Paris intermittently for quite some time, I can tell. I mean, I got to hug Ronen and Rafa. Haha.

This trip was the best weekend I've had in ages, and I needed it. I already miss it, and I'm so grateful for everything about it. Part of me will always be in Paris--queuing, most likely, but entirely happy.

#first responders reunion convention

[felix-lupin]

Decided I should finally write a pinned post so have this.

Call me Felix! anu soweli Lupen. My pronouns are they/them, and I use mostly masculine and neutral nouns.

My Ao3 is FelixLupin. I write when I feel like it and have time.

If triggers are tagged they will be tagged with just the trigger and/or trigger tw when I remember (this is not very reliable though). So, e.g., #flashing or #flashing tw.

Other stuff under the read more. Tags, fandoms im in, other stuff

Status: Neutral

(Status last edited: April 10th, 2024, 2:30 AM)

Last Edited (besides 'status'): March 18th, 2024

My Tags:

#animal arsenal = Animals!!! I will also usually tag it with whatever animal it is (the plural of the animal; so if it is a picture of a dog i will tag it #animal arsenal #dogs, and if it is a video of a crow I will tag it #animal arsenal #birds #crows) as well as the toki pona classification (soweli, waso, kijetesantakalu, akesi, etc.)

#art arsenal = Other peoples' (usually, but not always, specifically non-fandom) art. This includes writing. I will usually try to tag it with whatever kind of art it is as well (drawing, painting, writing, poetry).

#classics = Pretty self-explanatory. Things I consider to be "tumblr classics"

#felix artwolf = My art/drawing tag

#felix's posts = My posts

#felixlupin.txt = My original posts that are mostly text

#hello people in my phone = My ask tag

#mi awen e ni = Toki Pona for "I am saving this." Saved stuff / stuff that i am saving for later

#mi moku e ni = Toki Pona for "I'm eating this." Stuff that's very good and I like it a lot. Started saying this in reference to that "[watching/reading/listening to] x isn't good enough i need to eat it" meme. So, stuff that reading/seeing it isn't good enough i need to eat it.

#ni li ante e toki mi = Toki Pona for "this changed my speech." Posts that changed my vocabulary. Posts that I reference in my daily life in my speech and think about often.

#writing lupin = My writing tag

#writing wares = Others' posts relating to writing, such as writing advice, memes, etc. Forgot I had this tag tbh I'm gonna try to start using it again

Fandom Stuff

I am in a lot of different fandoms tbh. what im mostly focusing on will probably be a little bit different every day.

Fandoms I'm in:

Chonny Jash/CCCC (Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium). <- My Hyperfixation RN. I have a lot of Mind thoughts. I have thoughts about all of them tbh, but Mind thoughts specifically.

Undertale & Deltarune. <- Always at least a little mentally ill about both of them, esp Undertale. I would kill and die for Chara, Flowey, and Susie btw

Helluva Boss & Hazbin Hotel <- Most active for a day or two whenever a new episode comes out.

Good Omens <- I like Crowley a lot. Put that guy (gender neutral) in Situations

Avatar: The Last Airbender <- Love all of the characters from ATLA tbh. Great show 10/10 no notes

Five Night's at Freddy's <- This was my first fandom actually! So it has a lot of nostalgia for me. I liked the movie, it was fun. Favorite FNAF animatronics are Foxy and Mangle bc I'm basic like that.

Gravity Falls <- Haven't re-watched it in a while but I still hold a lot of fondness and love for it. sitelen tawa ni li pona mute tawa mi (this show is very good from my perspective)

Cult of the Lamb <- I like this game a lot! I think it is very fun and I like the fanart that people make for it. Have been replaying it recently due to the update :}

The Owl House <- When the Owl House was coming out Hunter got a chokehold on me and forced me into a hyperfixation on the show face-first.

Other Stuff

I am physically incapable of shutting up sorry (i am not sorry). Unless I get locked in gay tumblr baby jail (hit the post limit).

I have a queue running basically constantly that spits out a post/reblog every 9 minutes all 24 hours of the day (unless the queue has run out of posts. then it won't.)

As you could probably tell from the other sections, I know a little Toki Pona. My Toki Pona is not very good so please forgive me if I say something incorrectly. I may (very rarely) throw some of it in tags n such to practice.

I reserve the right to call things kijetesantakalu that are not kijetesantakalu based purely on vibes. foxes and seals are kijetesantakalu tawa mi

#pinned post #tags for ease of access -> #felix artwolf #writing lupin #animal arsenal #art arsenal #classics #mi awen e ni #mi moku e ni #ni li ante e toki mi #writing wares #felixlupin.txt #felix's posts #hello people in my phone

[is-it-accessible]

Guide to Tumblr by a Redditor

Dashboard = feed.

Necroing is encouraged.

Puns are required. /jk

The url you created first is your primary or main blog. When you like, reply, or send messages, your primary is what people will see.

You can change the look and url, and you could delete all your posts, but anything more requires total account deletion. Tumblr likes to brigade sometimes. It's annoying when it's your primary.

There are 2 ways to use tumblr:

Throw caution to the wind and use your primary for everything. Accept that someone will brigade you for something ridiculous at some point. It's a right of passage.

Create side blogs like we made throwaways. I have a primary and this baby blog. Some people create fandom specific or meme or fashion blogs. Keep in mind you can make and delete them as much as you want, but you should be reasonable about it. Otherwise, you'll be caught by the filter.

Asks

Keep these off for now. Cuts down on brigading significantly. When sending an ask, remember the human. Also remember that tumblr isn't run by mods who've seen it all. A lot of blogs are run by 13 year olds.

Spam Filter

Tumblr can be the worst automod you've ever met. Especially when you're new, especially if you're unverified, especially if you do create 10000 side blogs.

The filter will either say, "oops! I'm glitching!" (lies) or it will outright shadowban you. To test this, write a post, tag it, then go to the tag and filter by latest. If you are not there, you're shadowbanned!

It also does this to people who post links or images, but not always. A minor form of shadowbanning is hiding your reblog in the notes.

While we're here, please do report genuine bots. Most of them use malicious links. Top right of every post.

Pinned Posts

You only get one. Choose wisely! Useful for adding info about you/your blog, kinda like a wiki. Don't feel pressured to add anything you don't like.

Liking vs Replying vs Reblogging

A like is an upvote, except everyone can see your primary. It sends good vibes. Some people get angry when they only get liked. Ignore them. Do what you want.

Replying is when you have a small addition. Try not to argue in the replies. This is considered rude. You can always @ the person in a reblog.

Reblogging shares the post to your blog. You can choose which blog at the top of the screen. You can also queue it, so it comes out later. We do this to prevent flooding people's dashboards and inboxes. (There is a debate on whether flooding is okay or not.)

Tagging

When you post or reblog, you can add any tags you want. If it is your OC, then it will show up in the sitewide tags. Supposedly, only the first 5 tags work, so make them count.

Even if you don't tag, your post could end up in the related posts, based on the content.

For reblogs, a tag is an easy way to make a side comment, or make your post searchable on your own blog. It also serves as a content warning.

When warning, tag the main word without frills. If warning for a bug, write "bugs" and "insects" and nothing else. Tumblr's filter considers these to be different things: cw bugs, tw bugs, bugs cw. Don't be a jerk, like the filter. Just write "bugs" and "insects" so people don't have to have 10 mile long filter lists.

Common cws: creepy crawlies, bedroom shit, politics, abuse, bigotry, horror, sarcasm, and unreality.

A Filter for Your Squicks

Good news! You can filter out stuff that bothers you! Look in settings for the preferences menu. Content will filter out anything that contains the word. So "hot" would filter out "eachother". Tags will filter out only the exact tags. Note: there appears to be a limit to how much you can filter.

Blocking

Happens all the time, happens for no reason, just move on. People will literally block you because the algorithm was showing them your posts too much. If you are blocked, tumblr will claim their blog does not exist, or say you cannot reblog from them. It likes the "oopsie!" approach for some reason.

On the flip side, go ahead and block! Have fun with it! We are our own moderators, here.

Blocking prevents you from seeing their posts, and they cannot reply, reblog, or see you. One exception- if someone else reblogs you, they can see it.

DNI

Means "do not interact." It's mostly a preachy statement but you should honor it as much as possible. The longer the list, especially if it mentions fandom shit, the more likely they're a brigader.

Screen shotting

Generally considered rude, associated with harassment. (If you see a "callout," this is usually code for brigading. Feel free to block the subject...or everyone involved.)

Exceptions for screen shotting tags to share a clever remark, though copy pasting is better.

I will admit that everyone loves to screenshot horrible/ridiculous people, but we all know we should at least cut the url out first.

Image Descriptions

It is nice to add these. If someone adds them to your post, copy their text and put it in the original. Alt text is preferred. Do not add alt text and an image description.

How to write one: describe the most important parts of the image. You don't want excessive detail, but you do want to get the point across. For example:

[Image: burning Elmo meme. He has the reddit snoo's face. Text, "burn, baby, burn." /end]

If it is a simple comic, describe the people involved, and name/nickname them. After that, stick with text only, unless something relevant happens. Example:

[Comic: a big bad in a suit talks to a group of people using reddit avatars. Background is a building labeled Reddit Incorporated.

Big bad: well, if you don't like it, you can just leave!

Group: okay.

Big bad: what? No! Come back here!

Group: *settles into their new space with smiles*

Reddit Inc: *becomes old and decrepit*

Big bad: oh no! /end]

For more complicated comics, use Panel 1, Panel 2, etc, and describe the whole thing.

For recognizable figures, you can say their name and what they're doing/wearing if relevant.

For art...honestly, I hate describing art. Do what you can. Say what they used (oil, pencil, digital, etc.) Say if there's a tree, or a castle. Describe the cat and the mermaid. Etc. With this one, you want to be as detailed as possible, because the whole point is to enjoy the experience.

Politics

We have all kinds here. It is more anti-ableist and anti-sexist in general. Please keep to the Reddiquette.

#reddit #reddit migration #guide #tumblr guide

[homebrew-a-la-traumaverse]

Hi! I'm someone who has been homebrewing for 5e for a while and have recently opened a blog to put my creations, and I plan on also sharing some of my thoughts about the process of homebrewing.

I'm very new to this site in general, so I'm wondering if you have any pointers on how to get started with a blog. My posts also don't seem to be showing up in the public search, and I checked my content sharing settings, so some guidance with that would also be appreciated.

Cheers!

Howdy!

It's nice to see new faces on the scene! Getting to look at new ideas and the thoughts behind them is always fun, and analysis is something that we can't get enough of around these parts.

My advice might be a little scattered, but I hope it helps. If anyone else has thoughts, feel free to add on!

Tumblr can be a little finicky; I've found that posts often don't show up if you have external links. You'll want to make posts directly to tumblr rather than autoposting from elsewhere, and also put any links (i.e. to Homebrewery/DNDBeyond) in a reblog. And then reblog the reblog so that people can find the reblog with the links in the reblogs.

I tend to use a lot of tags for my own posts, both for organization as well as for exposure, but I'll admit I only rarely look at any tags other than the "homebrew" tag. I'm sure other people operate in their own way, though.

In terms of the tumblr homebrew meta, balance and formatting and all are always important. But even more important is PRESENTATION!

(Imagine I'm saying that in a Megamind voice. I don't have the time to find the gif.)

A lot of the time if you just have, like, a link or a readmore to a text dump, people will just gloss over it without giving it a second look regardless of how cool a concept is or how meticulously balanced it is. An evocative picture and image stains for formatting can go a long way in turning heads. You're on a site that loves images; style accordingly.

If you have a lot to say, adding a readmore can help you not flood readers in walls of text. Tumblr does it automatically now, but it's still polite to do it after one or two paragraphs if you're going to be writing much more than that.

Blog maintenance... Posting consistently and frequently is good, if it's relevant to your blog's niche (if I'm following you for homebrew, I'd rather not also get flooded in your love for, say, Superwholock Undertale crossovers; that's what sideblogs are for). That being said, there's diminishing returns; more than 1 post a day and people might miss them entirely just due to scheduling. Having a queue set up for that is helpful.

Combining related things into a compendium is worth considering if you have, say, 10 rogue subclasses that you want to publish at once, but you tend to get more attention if you post them one by one. A compromise could be to post them one by one to build hype and make another post with the compendium. Haven't made enough of those to really say how effective that'd be.

Also remember to keep your followers list clear of bots. It's your tumblr civil duty.

Cheers!

#not homebrew #feedback?

[dudemanauthor]

Winter's Milk (Part 1)

Author's Note: The second part of this was focused on the other mentioned couple, so don't worry if they're more your thing, you'll get basically this same story but with different characters. Should be up in a few hours if Tumblr's queue thing doesn't break out of nowhere.

Yang was as happy as can be as she and her girlfriend Winter stepped out of the car and headed up towards the pair of cabins that they had booked for a winter escape, carrying a decent amount of food and luggage for their trip away to the South Valean Alps. She had developed a fondness for the season not long after she started dating the elder Schnee, due to how happy she saw it made Winter. It was also nice to see Winter out of her Atlesian Specialist uniform, as much as Yang did appreciate the way it flattered Winter’s curvy figure. The fluffy turquoise sweater and tight white jeans that Winter was wearing today wasn’t too bad either, so Yang had that to enjoy. She turned and saw that Coco and Velvet were following close behind, carrying their share of the supplies.

“Thank you again, guys! It’s super nice of you two to get a cabin for us!” Velvet chirped as she made her way towards the cabins.

“Hey, thank Winter. She’s the sweetheart that paid for this, I’m just lucky enough to be dating her and be friends with you two,” Yang said sweetly as she nuzzled up to Winter’s side.

“Yang, please, you’re too kind,” Winter replied, a soft smile on her lips.

“Ugh, you two are too cute,” Coco playfully scoffed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, me and Velv are gonna go be too cute in our cabin.” With that, the two couples made their way to their individual cabins. As Winter and Yang set their supplies down, Winter cracked into the food bags, pulling out a tin of coffee and a pair of mugs.

“Aw, thanks babe, I could really do with something to warm me up,” Yang said, not being entirely truthful, considering how warm her fur lined jacket was and just how warm she was as a person, but she wasn’t going to turn down something like this. She heard a concerned noise come from Winter and came over to check on her. “What’s up? Are we missing something?”

“We don’t have any milk,” Winter pointed out.

“Eh, it’s fine. I’m sure we just accidentally put it all in Coco and Velvet’s bags. I’ll ask ‘em,” Yang reassured as she pulled her scroll out and flicked Coco a message.

Yangarang: Hey, Coco, you guys got any milk?

HotChocolate: We were gonna ask you the same thing

Yang stared blankly at her scroll.

Yangarang: Did all four of us forget to buy milk?

HotChocolate: Guess so. Me and Velv can make do, but if you guys are going to pick some up, we’d appreciate you getting us some

HotChocolate: IDK how we’d pay you back, but we could figure something out

Yang turned, intending to ask Winter how she felt about going down into the nearby town for milk, but Winter was very busy lying on her back, looking like her soul was busy escaping her body.

Yangarang: Yeah, I don’t think Winter’s leaving the cabin any time soon. I’ll let you know if that changes.

With that, Yang put her scroll in her jacket pocket, then tossed her jacket onto the nearby couch.

“Winter? Babe? You know I can solve this problem for you, right?” Yang asked sweetly, crouching down next to her girlfriend.

“I hope it isn’t with black coffee. Weiss drinks it and I still cannot understand how or why,” Winter answered, her thousand-mile stare burning a hole in the ceiling.

“Nah, don’t worry babe, it’s not that. You remember that thing I always have to deal with, right?” Yang reminded, making Winter sit up and pay attention.

“Oh. I wouldn’t have thought of that,” Winter said, the surprise clear in her voice.

“Eh, it beats just pumping and dumping. It always felt like such a waste not using my milk for anything,” Yang commented.

A few less than tidy minutes later, two coffees were ready, a little lighter on milk than how the couple usually took their coffees, but still enough to help dull the natural bitterness of the coffee. Once Yang had cleaned up the milk that missed the mugs as it dribbled from her nipples, she brought it over to the seat that Winter had grabbed at the little table in the living area. Winter’s face lit up the moment the coffee hit her tongue.

“Oh, goodness, this is incredible,” Winter said, surprised at the words coming out of her mouth. “In fact, I think this might even be better than coffee with…” Winter faltered as she tried to come up with the right word.

“It’s okay, Winter, you can say ‘normal milk’. I know it’s kinda weird for adults to be drinking breast milk,” Yang reassured, with Winter putting on a pensive look as she heard Yang’s comment. “But hey, at least I can really say that this coffee was made with love,” Yang added, putting on a light hearted tone that put a soft smile on Winter’s face.

“I know everything you ever make it made with plenty of love. That must be why I also enjoy your cooking,” Winter replied, gazing at Yang’s angelic grinning face, or at least what Winter would call angelic, being beyond biased.

“Man, if everyone else knew you could get this sappy, I don’t think anyone would be scared of you,” Yang teased as Winter shot her a half-hearted glare.

“Maybe tonight I can show you what makes me so scary,” Winter said in a tone sultry enough for Yang to pick up on what Winter was really saying. Yang couldn’t help but admire Winter’s ability to say something like that with a mostly straight face, while she was on the verge of bursting into a giggle.

“Oh, wow, no need to threaten me with a good time.”

---

The next morning, Yang awoke to find her body was still a little stiff and achy from Winter’s ‘punishments’ last night. As she sat up, she felt a little extra weight on her bare chest, a sign that she would probably need to empty her mammaries in the next day or two. Also, as she sat up, she noticed Winter just barely beginning to stir, her face partially hidden by her messy white hair that had not yet been tamed and put in Winter’s usual tight bun.

“Mmm… good morning, my love,” Winter said in a croaky voice. Yang smiled softly as she brushed some of Winter’s hair out of the way of her face.

“Good morning to you too.  You had a pretty ‘active’ night last night. Need a hand waking up this morning?” Yang offered as Winter slowly sat up, revealing her pale, nude body.

“That would be wonderful, dear. Will it have some extra love in it?” Winter asked as she just barely nuzzled Yang’s bare chest. Yang smirked at Winter’s comment.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ll make sure it’s got a little extra love in it. Fortunately I’ve got some to spare in the tanks,” Yang sad as she slowly and carefully got out of bed, taking a moment to make sure her legs were working properly before staggering over to the little kitchenette and whipping up two coffees, squirting her milk into the mugs with a little more accuracy than yesterday’s messy attempt. Yang then carefully made her way back to the bed, handing Winter her coffee and popping her own on the bedside table on her side. As Winter brought the mug to her lips and the coffee to her tongue, Winter let out a content hum as she savoured the taste of the coffee, enhanced with Yang’s breast milk.

“Another wonderful coffee, love,” Winter complimented, her voice getting less croaky and tired by the second. “I’m going to miss this when our holiday is over.” Yang let out a small chuckle.

“Heh. If I didn’t know better, I’d be thinking that you’re getting addicted to my milk,” Yang joked. Winter kept drinking her coffee as she gave the idea some legitimate thought. Could she get addicted to this? Sure, she might really enjoy it, but an addiction seemed a bit much.

---

Over the next couple of days, Yang continued to be the couple’s milk supply as the couple did couple things in the nearby mountains and forests. On the bright side, Winter had nothing but nice things to say about her milk, and the regular milking seemed to help Yang produce more milk, making it easier to produce enough for the couple to have a couple of coffees in a day. Also, Yang was pretty sure that her boobs had gotten at least a little bit bigger, maybe even by a whole cup size, and whether Winter noticed or not, she was certainly giving her boobs plenty of attention. The downsides didn’t really manifest until towards the end of her trip, those being the fact that Yang was starting to outgrow her bras and she was starting to feel full at times. Fortunately, those times usually coincided with coffee time for her and Winter, but on the penultimate morning of the trip, Yang woke up to small wet patches on her pyjama shirt.

“Ah crap,” Yang complained quietly as she shot out of bed. Her milk-laden breasts were adding a noticeable amount of weight on her chest as they bounced along to Yang’s quick steps towards the bathroom sink. Yang slipped out of her top and tried her best to rinse the milk out before her shirt stained. All of this managed to wake Winter right as Yang went to hang her shirt on the back of a chair and start rummaging through her suitcase.

“Is something wrong?” Winter asked, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her eyes.

“I’m leaking. I’m trying to find my breast pump so I can deal with it,” Yang answered, trying her best to hide her annoyance. There was a quiet pause for a brief moment.

“Perhaps… I could deal with it for you,” Winter offered. Yang stopped her searching as her brain tried to process what Winter said. She turned to face the bed and found that Winter had crawled over the bed towards the corner where Yang had stashed her stuff.

“Wh-what does that mean?” Yang said, an eyebrow raised as her brain kept working on figuring out where Winter was going with this.

“Like this.” With that, Winter leant in towards Yang’s swollen breasts, using a hand to support a breast as she latched on to a large, erect nipple. Winter began to gently suckle at Yang’s teat as Yang let out a shocked gasp at the sudden sensation. Much to Yang’s surprise, the sensation was as relieving and pleasurable as it was unexpected. Entirely on instinct, Yang sat down on the bed and sort of cradled Winter, holding her girlfriend close as she drank Yang’s milk straight from the source. Something about all of this, as unusual as it was, felt good to Yang. Maybe it was the closeness, the intimacy of all of this that Yang was appreciating. Or maybe it just felt really good to empty her full breasts out, regardless of how. Honestly, Yang preferred the first option, and it felt the most correct. After all, a breast pump never felt this warm, a breast pump never gently caressed her bosom, and her breast pump was never a beautiful white-haired woman that Yang loved with all of her heart and then some. Yes, Yang was convinced, it was definitely better with Winter in her arms, gently and lovingly drinking from her teats. Once the first breast was emptied, Winter unlatched from Yang’s teat and the pair manoeuvred Winter onto the other so she could keep drinking. Winter started to feel a little bit full from all the milk, but the taste was almost intoxicatingly good, the soft warmth that radiated from her wonderful girlfriend was too nice to give up, and Winter didn’t have it in her to not finish helping dear, sweet Yang. And so, Winter suckled Yang’s other teat, emptying it all out and drinking it all up. By the time she was done, Winter was feeling very full, but in a satisfied way, or at least in a way that she wasn’t going to have any complaints about. When Winter unlatched her mouth from Yang’s breast, Yang leant down to place a gentle kiss on her girlfriend’s forehead.

“Thank you so, so much. I haven’t felt this light in forever,” Yang whispered, the relief clear in her voice. Winter sat up straight, putting her a few inches taller than Yang, and placed her own kiss on Yang’s forehead.

“Yang, my love, it was my utmost pleasure. If you need it again, please don’t hesitate,” Winter replied as she softly caressed a cheek on Yang’s smiling face.

“I’ll remember that. The trip’s not over yet, and I get the feeling that I’m gonna fill up again before it’s over. I won’t say no to help, especially help as beautiful as you,” Yang flirted, as she reached up to caress Winter’s cheek. The pair leant in, synchronised, as their lips gently met for a soft, sweet kiss that still had a hint of Yang’s sweet milk in the taste. “Huh, so that’s what it tastes like,” Yang said when the pair eventually broke for breath.

“Would you like another taste?” Winter asked, before leaning in for another, longer, deeper kiss, their tongues embracing in their mouths. It was pretty safe to say that most of the rest of Yang and Winter’s holiday had been planned out right there and then, since nothing else could compare to this incredible intimacy that they shared, were sharing and would share for the rest of their time here.

#BE!RWBY #breast expansion #lactation #lactation kink

[thuganomxcs]

1. When are you usually online?  You can usually catch me on here EARLY in the AM. That’s when I get more stuff done. I’m usually here 4AM to queue some things in the drafts, I usually try to get to at the very least four replies. Then I’m off to work.

2. What verses are you involved in outside of this page? I have a multimuse blog that I’m slowly getting back into, it’s a low activity blog that I manage now. I try to get to 2 drafts on there a day after work. Huh, speaking of which I gotta check it out. I also have a Sinbad blog that haven’t seen me in QUITE a while but it will once I get that drive to roleplay him one more time. Honestly I’ve been juggling between Yakuza, Judgment and Fist of the north star that strengthens my muse for Yusuke through the roof.

3. What is your biggest RP pet peeve? When people don’t treat OCs with the same respect they would a canon muse. I get not every OC you meet is going to be somethin’ you mess with but it doesn’t change the fact that their writers are peeps just like me and you.

4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses? You know people tell me that I am drawn to characters that commits an act of genocide. I mean it’s a joke but yeah, the ones I’m usually drawn too are ironically the bad boy archetype.

5. Are there recurring themes in your writing that people might not notice? I don’t think so, what people would notice is sometimes I tend to put a spin to mundane shit through my writing.

6. What are your favorite RP trends? Oh this is something for a tumblr veteran to answer for me, I can’t really say what my favorite trends are BUT if anyone would IM me and then gimme a little bit of education then I’ll gladly re-edit this post with my answer on a later date.

7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone?   There really isn’t much process, we say hey in the IMs, they post a prompt or two and I sed things in and BAM we’re writing. Though there are a few peeps that I really talk to regarding storyline especially considering Yu yu hakusho ain’t everyone’s taste.

8. How do you feel about duplicates? As a guy that loves to do multiverse stories I’d welcome a duplicate with open arms, provided they don’t jack my stuff I see no problem with it. 

9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying? MAN I was still in school back then, do y’all remember Myspace and AOL? That was where I used to roleplay back in the early 2000s. I say ‘roleplay’ but I use the term extremely lightly because one my english was TRASH then, two grammar was shit too and one liners were fun.

10. Is there a muse or verse you wish you could write in, but haven’t? On here? There are probably a few but on discord I got my partners that enable me to live the dreams and I love each and every one of y’all.

tagged: @quickdeaths​ (thanks for tagging the boy)

tagging: @belovedblossoms​ , @aceparagon​ , @angelustm​ , @eternitycyber​ , @regnantlight​ , @fatexbound​ , @healingwords​ , @universestreasures​ , @monmuses​ , @acandlelitdeath​ , @knightshonour​ , @adamnedmartyr​ , @xkokuryuhax​ , @hortussecretum​ , @holified​ , @rivenheart​ , @erobret​ , steal it homies

#❛ dashgames ━━ everyone's tough talk til the hands clam up.

[simlicious]

Check in Tag

 I was tagged by the wonderful @ktarsims, thank you 💜

Why did you choose your URL?

It’s really just my creator name, nothing fancy. I wanted people to be able to easily find me and recognize my url. If you are wondering why I chose Simlicious as a name, I thought it was kinda cool at the time and I wanted something with the word “Sim” in it. Nowadays I think I could have been a bit more original.

How long have you been on tumblr?

Since February 2012. I just realized I missed my 10-year tumblr anniversary. I am really bad with dates and anniversaries in general though, so this is no surprise 😅

Do you have a queue tag?

Nope, I seldomly queue stuff anyway.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I was active in German Sims forums at the time and wasn’t really happy with only being in a “local” community. I wanted to spread my wings and also reach a wider audience, since I like creating for the sims games and communicating in English. I immediately liked the kind, open-minded simblr community, so I stuck around!

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because I was too lazy to do anything else? Idk. I never had anything else and at this point, I wouldn’t know what else to put there anyway. It is not my simself, but just one of my models, put through a few artsy filters. Since my icon is purple, I feel like purple has become  my “simblr brand color”. I have grown fond of the purple hearts 💜 and I feel like they are my thing now. Purple is not my favorite color though, that would be Turquoise.

Why did you choose your header?

I am not sure this is considered a header per se, but the background behind the my tumblr icon is the same background I chose for my website and my tumblr blog background (though I colored it differently there). It looks like fancy 3D paper cutouts and I still love it after all these years. Maybe one of the reasons I never update my tumblr theme (though it is overdue!).

What’s your post with the most notes?

That would be this post of my Ugg Boots with 1206 notes, which I initially made as a Secret Santa gift. This might be my most popular creation ever, and I’m still proud of how well it turned out! I am just not proud that I chose the busy and dark group pic as the first pic in that post. I really tried to set a scene there and everything, but I like the minimalist approach with a clean background much better.

How many mutuals do you have?

I counted 94, but I am pretty sure I miscounted due to going “OMG WHAT, THAT person is a mutual?” like 50 times. I have really cool mutuals.

How many followers do you have?

3564, as of now!

How many people do you follow?

244 (I think this is considered a low number, and I still cannot keep up with my dash at all)

Have you ever made a shitpost?

Not really, no. I wrote somewhat angry posts, most of which I did not actually post (they are more like a diary at this point), most had to do with some simblr drama and opinions. But in general, I try to write in a cool and composed manner, even when the subject matter is heated. I feel like much more can be achieved by being polite, exploring stuff from different angles and outlining the facts than by screaming ugly things at the world.

How often do you use tumblr every day?

I open tumblr at least once every day, it is a reflex at this point, but I do not always actually look at stuff or interact. That depends on my mood and my mindset. Sometimes I spend hours commenting, posting, liking, and on some days I barely do anything.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I don’t think so! I do not like stirring up trouble. I remember I was once very close to being the target of a shitstorm, because I accidentally made another sims creator look bad and their protective followers were writing angry messages to me. I immediately apologized to the creator and changed my post and that was it!

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I am unaffected by it. These posts remind me of chainmail, and I do not engage in those, nor in “you are a bad person if you do not reblog this, I will unfollow you if you do not reblog this”. Not reblogging does not mean that I do not agree with the contents of the post or do not care about it, it just means I do not want to clutter my blog, since I am very specific with the stuff I reblog.

Do you like tag games?

Depends on my mood and the specific questions asked but yeah, they are generally fun! I just do not like tagging other people (I do not want anyone to feel pressured, despite not feeling pressured by being tagged myself), so I usually tag anyone who wants to do them.

Do you like ask memes?

I think I’ve never done one before, most of them have to do with stories and characters, which I do not really have as a pure CC creator.

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Several were or are widely known in the community, most of them moved on to ts4 now and I feel honored to still be on their list! I treasure my mutuals a lot, famous or not! I feel like by dropping names, some people always feel left out, so I’m not going to do that here.

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

If by crush you mean in awe of their talents, then I guess so 🤩 (again, not dropping names) I tag everyone who wants to answer these questions :)

#get to know me #tag #check in tag

[sweetsoursugarcube]

Tag Game: Reveal Your Blogging Style

Hehe thanks @cosmicsnufkin for tagging me, when was the last time I played a game?

Bold what applies to you (I babble in the parenthesis)

different blogs for different interests OR all-in-one blog // (I got an aesthetics blog but it's basically dead because I got lazy)

default theme OR custom theme //

one username till death OR change username according to mood/obsession // (I changed my ao3 username once, but my tumblr hasn't changed)

round avatar OR square avatar //

personal avatar OR fandom related avatar //

thematic consistency between header image and avatar OR who gives a fuck //

reblog without tags OR reblog with tags //

category tags only OR personal commentary in tags // (I also meticulously categorize my shit both on tumblr and ao3, get a girl who can do both)

like+reblog OR only reblog // (I used to always like+reblog but then I once tried to "clean up" my likes on tumblr and had severe anxiety about it and now I don't like stuff as much even though "cleaning up" my tumblr likes is like the most useless thing I could spend my time on and I will never do it but just in case... it will make clean up easier)

replies allowed on posts OR replies switched off //

askbox open OR askbox closed //

anons allowed OR anons blocked //

respond to every mention in replies OR be a hermit // (I respond to almost every reply. I do my best. I really do)

a quiet observer and enjoyer OR initiate conversation with an unknown blogger// (I do both and have always done both. Mysterious woman working in mysterious ways. If I've initiated, your names was drawn from a bowl Hunger Games-style)

send ask OR send message on chat OR converse with people in replies // (I rarely send chat messages unless we're friends)

blog from computer/laptop OR blog from phone // (why pick one?)

personal posts OR fandom posts only // (If you follow me, you know me and the void are friends and I tell them things)

have a well organised filled queue OR post intermittently and make it everybody else's problem OR post daily like it's a 9 to 5 // (who remembers my neat queue??)

likes and following displayed on blog OR likes and following hidden //

Bonus game, what does your username mean:

I wanted a username that mirrored the online-persona I was going for, cute and candy-like but not just cute. I didn't want it to sound like a drug, but I ended up with something like that anyway. Sweetsoursugarcube is pretty funny to say too. I thought about changing it to my ao3 username when I rebranded, but I still felt weirdly attached to my personal street drug nonsense at the time. I guess it's not as important to me anymore as it used to be, I kind of projected what I wanted my identity to be when I was younger and couldn't express myself irl. Now that I feel safer openly being myself outside my online spaces it doesn't matter as much anymore. I guess the only thing stopping me is that I'd have to go around and change links and stuff for every ao3 work and uhhhh no thanks, it's whatever.

My tumblr is so dry these days because I'm lazy. I should follow some new blogs, but I've been putting it off for so long it has turned into an Impossible Task. If you follow me just consider yourself tagged, these things are fun!

#tagged #tag game #tag meme #? #e.txt #long post

[derelictdumbass]

*barges into your tumblr blog and grabs you like a squeaky toy* remember when we made a slasher au for michael? well consider slasher michael meeting my slashersona. also slasher michael meeting michael myers bc same first name ya know. this is so random lmao I am so sorry. FUCKING WAIT WHAT IF MICHAEL WAS MY SLASHERSONA'S FINAL BOY BC MICHAEL COULD MAKE A GREAT FINAL BOY DUDE WITH HIS BACKSTORY HE'S A SURVIVOR GOOD LORD I'LL SHUT UP NOW I PROMISE (listen I just think there should be some more final boys in horror I love my final girls but lets hear it for the final boys too ya know? I'm getting off track so NOW I'll shut up)

*insert the sound of those screaming rubber chickens here*

I DO REMEMBER!! I stumble upon the Single doodle I did of him in his lil murder outfit every blue moon and nod sagely while thinking about it fondly asjshsjsh AND OHO I AM CONSIDERING 👀👀 He would absolutely dig the skull masks and the whole living in the woods thing (also like. He'd be such a whore if he saw her in Action yanno. Murder husband and wife hours i'm just saying—)

Him meeting Michael Myers would be. So Funny bc idk I can see him not caring at all but Myers being like "there can only be one," ya feel me ajshsjsjdj Queue an epic slasher fight that ends with both of them still alive and with a healthy respect for the others ability to Not Die.

THAT IS SUCH A TASTY CONCEPT ALEXYS I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH YES !! He's just minding his fucking buisness one minute on like a camping trip or something and then the next second he's being hunted down, poor man just wanted a vacation ajsjdjfjjf He is a little survivor man tho and he's a nature nerd so he will evade your slashersona at almost every step, getting caught a few times but still managing a last minute escape 👀👀 The Drama would be wonderful

#nadine answers #Spooky Friend Tag 🖤 #oc: Michael Sinclaire #I saw slasher stuff on my dash this morning so this lines up perfectly thank you anajsbdbdb #I can't stop thinking: final boy to lover boy new trope let's make it happen ajsjshdhfj #Michael be like: I know she tried to kill me and I barely made it out of there but she took off her mask once and was rlly pretty #Michael is an Alexys simp first and a smart human being with braincells second in every universe he is in

[wildflower-rain]

long post with just my musings about nothing. more a journal entry than anything else. all lighthearted stuff.

dont know if im in a mood but im considering stepping away from this blog and the internet in general for a bit.

been on here to much lately or something plus some other stuff. idk i may disappear briefly.

hesitant to do so because i think my unintentional attempt to keep stuff in this blog's queue is why my brain hasn't just rejected it. like thats not a big consideration point but it is there.

tbf there aren't many points here at all. i just kind of started thinking about this like two hours ago so yk, i may wake up and forget i said anything.

been less engaged in some ways anyway. and more in others. been on here for long periods but i normally try add a bit of commentary in the tags if only for my own memory and amusement. but i haven't seen much that ive really wanted reblog to begin with and ive had nothing to say about anything. also as i think i said in the last two posts here now i just dont have anything to say at the moment. nothing understandable and shareable at least. got real life stuff happening too. had a lot of work to do. and a lot of stress. not actually that much stress probably , not compared to normal because like every situation is a high stress situation to me. just how i work. but i may well be forgetting how stressed i've been. i'm not sure.

idk. this blog does help me sort out my brain some. which is a point to the the other side. this post is basically a journal entry. and thats really how i use this blog most of the time. rambling about random stuff. its more consistent than any journal i've kept or have tried to keep. wondering if it would be unreasonable to make a private sideblog to actually just use as a journal because apparently tumblr gets the thoughts out of me.

i should make a journal tag. maybe. i don't know. for some reason i have more faith in tumblr not losing all my stuff than my other digital note taking and journal stuff. and generally i think better in typing. i do have a physical journal. i just don't think as freely in it, my hand gets cramped or i cant write fast enough for my thoughts. so i like digital stuff. and apparently my brain sees tumblr as more likely to not lose my stuff and die than anywhere else. at least out of places that i like the format of. don't like the idea of dumping this all in a word doc for some reason. it would make more sense. i could stick things on a usb but no, instead here i am with my billion word tumblr post that anyone can see. maybe ill start copying things into word docs after the fact idk.

i dont know why im so afraid that all my shit will be deleted. i really havent lost that much digital stuff over the years, nothing important to me i dont think. not accounts, not saved info, not my own pieces of stuff.. maybe one or two things i dont remember. i dont know why i just dont trust stuff to not get lost becuase of some screw up. idk. its 3:30am i'm going to sleep now. i had more work to do but im tired and i need to do more stuff tomorrow so i might as well get some sleep.

goodnight tumblr. or goodmorning or whatever time it is when this gets released, imma queue it.

#lol this does not need to be public #but it's here now so i guess it's staying here #they them #en end #or something idk

[whimsyprinx]

Hii I love ur art & think you should keep self rb-ing it, but maybe you could do it on a queue? It gets kinda annoying when there’s 20+ posts in a row, which might make ppl less likely to rb

Also I noticed you aren’t using the tags #my art, #art, or #artists of tumblr, those r the most popular art tags so you may get more engagement with those!

i honestly just reblog a bunch of things on a whim and never like, consider if people find that annoying or not so like sorry about that. But like yeah next time I reblog my art I’ll try and remember to queue it, I’m not gonna like make any promises about it cause I honestly forget to use that feature a lot and thus am not going to promise to queue things every time.

And thanks for the advice, I did use to use those tags for my old art blog but then stopped using a lot of tags and just never started using them again ig. If I’m being honest I don’t see queueing things or using the right tags really changing the amount of reblogs and engagement my art gets but like sure may as well try?

And lastly, thanks for liking my art

#whimsy whispers #asks #anon #thanks for the ask! #sorry for the late answer to this I hit the post limit at the most embarrassing time (4am) #secondary apology if this sounds blunt I’m bad at tones and so tired today and that just makes my tone sound even worse #thank you genuinely for the advice and the compliment #I am a victim of the sleepy tired + sleeping badly + the weather making this worse ahdhfjt

[trainsinanime]

For the valentines ask meme: 6, 8, 11

From this list

6 What is your most angsty ship?

I'm a bit of an oddball because I almost always prefer fluff over angst. But I love, love, love all the angst and drama between Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav in the The Locked Tomb books. They're full of angst, they keep sacrificing themselves for each other and the other never appreciates it, it's great.

The only thing I don't love about that series is that it starts with "The", so if I'm talking about the series I always have this big question whether I put two "the"s right after each other.

8 Your oldest ship; the one you’ve shipped for the longest time?

I think probably Natsu/Lucy from Fairy Tail, because that's when I was really getting into fandom. Although, to be fair, it's been a couple of years or decades since I last thought about it. I also remember having some strong opinions about Harry Potter ships back in the day, but, you know, stuff happened.

Other than that, my main fandoms growing up used to be Star Trek and to a less extent Star Wars (not as good, but there's more of it), and I never saw these as things where I spent any time thinking about shipping. Yes, these days I am aware that Kirk/Spock and such are things (or Reylo), but back in the days before Tumblr I never really considered them.

So, yes, NaLu, followed closely by Oga/Hildegarde from the sadly forgotten Beelzebub anime and manga. One day I am going to finish that multi-chapter story with them! The tenth anniversary of the last update is coming up, which would be a great date to conclude it, but I'll probably stay true to form and miss it.

11 What is a character you can only imagine in one particular ship?

I think I answered this in the previous ask, and I'm afraid I still don't really have a good answer. I could list a lot of great characters who I don't ship at all, but that's not really helpful. (I keep answering all of these questions in the negative, sorry about that. It's just because I'm boring!)

I guess I'll go with Wednesday/Enid from the Wednesday show this time (both of them), mostly because that's what my queue keeps putting out. Both of them have other love interests in canon, and I don't even necessarily think their relationship would be improved by making it romantic. But their other options are just so uninspired and boring, and the two of them together are a lot of fun. I can see them kissing other people in season 2 (again), but I can't imagine myself caring a lot about that.

[merrigel]

I just think it’d be cute if Heimerdinger had a little tail

#artists on tumblr #animation #arcane #heimerdinger #lol arcane #this one's more recent! #roughanimator is a godsend #love to animate fully curled up on my couch #I don't play lol at all but I'm deranged over arcane #pic #fanart #I can't seem to decide whether or not I tag fanart here?? eh #(also I remembered that I could queue things on tumblr and considered it for this ongoing artdump but like. for why) #(same exact effect of gradual posting with none of the joy of Hit Send Thing Go Online) #(sorry if that makes me obnoxious for now tho LMAO) #(I've got like.... a few more days' worth in the tank I think) #(this is enough for tonight)

[skellebonez]

Tumblr Messed Up Fill #1

So Tumblr did a BIG OLD OOPS and published a bunch of my unfinished drafts that I left in my queue at 1 PM... when I set it to 1 AM and intended to finish a couple and then change the time again.

LUCKILY I DIDN’T HAVE THE ENTIRE FILLS IN THE QUEUE AND JUST BITS I ADDED IN TO HOLD SPACE. So... I guess this is how we’re doing this! @winterpower98​ here’s some Mentor Swap AU Shadowpeach!

How did you get that scar?/That is not a good hiding spot.

It had been scheduled far in advance and Wukong should have remembered that this was going to happen. The Weather Station needed to let it rain sometimes! It was good for the environment! Good for nature! But Wukong was Wukong and when he trained with Xiaotian for as long as he did he had a tendency to forget the unimportant things like “scheduled downpours” and “when training is actually supposed to end”.

So by the time he managed to crash land a foot away from Mei’s front door after pogo sticking his way off of Mount Huaguo he looked like he’d been dropped into the ocean.

“Cold-cold, cold and wet!” He yelped, shoving the staff back into his ear and trying to hold his jacket over his head as best he could, which did just as much good as it did during the ride. Which was “barely anything”. “Ah shit, it’s cold why can’t they make the rain not COLD!?”

He continued into the building, shuddering as he felt rain water seeping through every bit of fabric he wore, even his shoes the traitors. He immediately started ripping off his shirt, at the very least wanting to get some of the drenched clothing off him, and he froze when he heard a yelp from the other side of what should have been a very empty entry way given Mei was supposed to be out of the house.

A very familiar yelp.

“Why aren’t you are your own house!?” The voice yelled, and as Wukong pulled his shirt over his head he found the voice’s own staring at him with wide eyes alight with a mix of confusion and horror.

“UH, I think I should ask you that, Macaque!” He accused, turning sideways and walking backwards into the building with a raised eyebrow. “Why are you in Mei’s house? Are you hiding in Mei's house!? That is not a good hiding spot!"

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Monkey Boy?” Macaque said snarkily with a smirk.

“Monkie KID, and yeah, that’s why I asked,” Wukong snarked right back, holding his shirt and jacket out in front of him with a frown. “Also, you’re a monkey so...”

“Oh shut up.”

"And you look like you nearly drowned," Wukong chuckled, ringing his shirt out and pointedly not mentioning the blush he saw forming on the other's face. Yet. "It's raining cats and dogs and I’m pretty bad to, but you shouldn't be that bad."

"... don't laugh," Macaque grumbled, doing much the same to his scarf. "I was trying to get here when the rain was getting really bad and I... fell. Off the docks."

Wukong immediately burst into cackles.

“I told you not to laugh you asshole!” Macaque snapped, baring his teeth and trying to puff up his fur in annoyance but failing miserably with the sheer amount of water weighing him down. If anything it probably just made him look... adorably sad. Like a puppy. But a human sized monkey.

“I-I’m sorry!” Wukong held his sides, trying his very best to stop laughing. He also failed miserably, if not even more so than Macaque. “It’s just imagining you, YOU, falling off the docks? Just! You’re practically an acrobat! You’re usually way cooler than that!”

As Wukong continued to fail Macaque’s face softened as he stopped barring his teeth in warning and stared at the other young man.

“... you think I’m cool?” He asked softly, attempting to smooth down his fur and brush the water out of it.

“Kinda?” Wukong said with a half snicker, finally having himself under control. “Cool enough I guess.”

Macaque hummed, giving up on his attempts to dry off with a sigh. It was pointless to try to dry off with his fur like this, not without some kind of towel or brush. And he would be damned if he let Wukong let himself shake dry! That was not going to happen.

So instead he turned to the other, watching as he laid out his tip layers on his arm and turned around.

And something caught his eye.

Multiple somethings.

“How did you get that scar?”

Wukong tensed, not enough for him to stop moving but more than enough for Macaque to notice that he was walking away much slower than he needed to.

"Depends on which one you mean," he answered eventually. He reached up to pull on his hair, frowning as it dripped more water on him.  "Hold that thought until I come back."

And so he did. Macaque watched the other leave and stood in the open room, awkward and dripping sea and rain water all over Mei's floor.

He debated leaving. Just walking out the door and avoiding the awkward conversation that was sure to be leveled in his direction when the human returned, but before he could even make the decision to decide on an option something brought and green was lobbed at his head and wrapped around his face.

“WHAT IN THE-”

“Towel off before Mei gets angry we both tracked in water,” Wukong said, mischievous chuckle resounding through the air before Macaque managed to unwrap the towel from his face. “I’ve got something else that’ll help out after.”

Macaque was going to ask what that something was before the words died in his throat, the sight before him making him pause in confusion and barely held back amusement.

“You have Monkey King themed PJs?” He asked, toweling off his head first. “At Mei’s?”

“Sometimes I stay over.” Was all Wukong said, shrugging as if it was nothing. “Considering you’re here and I don’t see signs of a break in I assume those plum PJs in the same closet are yours.”

“I DON’T HAVE PAJAMAS HERE I DON’T STAY THAT OFTEN!” Macaque snapped, and his face flushed a deep red in embarrassment before he saw Wukong’s victory smirk. “... you made that up to make me slip that I’ve been here before.”

“And you took it hook, line, and sinker,” Wukong said playfully, grabbing the monkey demon’s arm and using a second towel he had to dry it off. “I wasn’t kidding about the PJs though.”

“O-oh...” was all Macaque could reply with as the information slowly sunk in before he ripped his arm away. “I can do that myself!”

“Then do it and come inside!”

~

Macaque was... mostly dry after a couple minutes, enough for Wukong to drag him into the bathroom and instruct him to change and use the blow dryer he has shoved into his hands while he mopped the floor. And as much as Macaque disliked the noise... he couldn’t argue that the warm air of the device was a welcome change from the icy seawater against him.

He may have looked like an extra puffed up fur ball when he was done and refused to come out until he at least had the PJs (short sleeved and indeed covered in plums) on to hide the worst of it.

Didn’t stop Wukong from devolving into cackles at his expense once again.

“Hold on, let me do something,” Wukong offered, and guided him to sit down on the couch sideways, situating behind him with the other pulled against his chest and a comb in hand. “At least I can help with your hair... if it counts as hair.”

“... I don’t know if it does,” Macaque replied, finding himself at a loss for what to do and say in this situation.

They were enemies, right?

Shouldn’t Wukong... be chasing him out of the building?

Now sitting him down to- OH NO!

“ACTUALLY WA-”

Macaque froze as Wukong’s fingers brushed against his scalp and the teeth of the comb brushed through his hair, far more gentle than Macaque could remember anyone touching his hair before, and he went limp in Wukong’s arms like putty.

“Knew that’d get ya,” he felt Wukong say as much as he heard him say it, and the hands and comb continued through his hair and fur and he couldn’t even muster up any coherent words to snark back at him. Just a frustrated grumble. “Xiaotian does this to me a lot. And to his monkeys. So I figured this would be... ya know, nice for you.”

They stayed like that for a good while, Wukong brushing his fingers and the comb through puffed up fur and pulling out tangles Macaque didn’t even know he had on the back of his neck. It felt... strange. To trust someone that you spent so much of your time fighting against, flirting with awkwardly in the midst of battle, never thinking that the two of you would just sit and do anything calmly together.

But here they were. On Mei’s couch. Macaque feeling a purr rumble up in his chest as Wukong groomed through his hair and fur in a gesture he clearly admitted he knew the implications of.

“They’re from before,” Wukong said after a while, after he rested his head on Macaque’s shoulder and started working through the fur on his arms. “Before Red took me in... back before I had the staff to fight with.”

And as much as Macaque wanted to ask, and if he really tried he knew he probably could, he chose not to push it when he heard the way Wukong’s tone changed. Something equally nostalgic and melancholy.

“I think they make you look cool too,” was what he said instead.

“... We’re both pretty cool.”

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #mentor swap au #ship fic #prompt fill #monkey king #sun wukong #six eared macaque #shadowpeach #I LOVE THIS AU and i wanna write more shadowpeach for it

[calltomuster]

Star Wars Fic Recs Part the Fourth

[first fic rec list] [second fic rec list] [third fic rec list]

Been a few weeks since I've done one of these and I've read/reread some great fics recently so let me share them with you now!

And I Fear Nothing by @maiseey (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 11/? chapters, 43.4k words) Picture this: I am sitting in the parking lot of my local grocery store, having just bought a load of perishables. I get the email that And I Fear Nothing has just been updated. What do I do: run home to preserve the food I just paid for, or sit in my car and read the new chapter right away? The answer is obvious, of course! That is exactly the situation I found myself in last week when chapter 11 dropped and I did in fact choose to read it in spite of my groceries, that's how much I love this fic. In this fic, Obi-Wan and Cody are raising Luke and Leia together on Tatooine, and they've got so much trauma, and new + old wounds, and love for each other and the children they're raising that it both warms your heart and tears it apart. But that's not all, this fic expands beyond just the small home in the middle of the Jundland Wastes and explores Ahsoka and Rex and their journey to de-chip as many clones as possible. I love this fic because it doesn't shy away from hard conversations, but it does it in a way that makes you want to cry and give everyone involved a hug. Plus, there are some fantastic minor clone characters that you will 100% want to die for by the time you finish reading. Cannot recommend this fic enough.

Obligate by @communistkenobi (gen, one-shot, 23.9k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka) Just when you thought the Deception arc didn't have enough pain, this AU sees Anakin fake his death instead of Obi-Wan! My heart is physically ripped out of my chest just thinking about this fic, so imagine what it'd do to you actually reading it. Anything @communistkenobi writes is so well-done and I've gone through his works list on AO3 multiple times, but somehow I missed this when it was first posted and it was like a wonderfully delightful surprise when I ran into it the other day. So, so good. Highly recommend!

Moirai by damonkey (gen, WIP, 4/? chapters, 9.2k words, Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon) All I can really say about this fic without giving anything away is that it's a Phantom Menace AU and it's so intriguing. The author is very deliberate in having a vague summary and only tagging as the story progresses, so I truly have no idea what's ahead of me but it's so -- as I said -- intriguing that I'm happy to strap into the ride. Ahhhh I'm skimming through the fic and there are so many things I want to mention but I don't want to give anything away!

Almost Home by @frunbuns (gen, one-shot, 5.2k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) You know, every time I recc a Modern AU I'm like "I don't usually like Modern AUs but..." and then proceed to gush over the fic. I went and checked and I've recced a Modern AU on almost every fic rec list I've made! Maybe I do like Modern AUs?? Or maybe the fics are just that good -- and this fic is definitely that good. In this fic, the first of a planned series of fics set in a modern Star Wars universe, Obi-Wan is reeling from the loss of his adoptive father Qui-Gon and has to care for a young Anakin. Ooooooof. Definitely hits you right in the feels, this one. Love the non-chronological storytelling too!

Naked and Not Paid by biscuitlevitation (Obi-Wan/212th Attack Battalion, WIP, 6/? chapters, 14.9k words) This fic is essentially ~15k words of the clones thirsting over Obi-Wan and it is the funniest thing I have read all year. I'm not kidding, I just read the last chapter which features space-church-lady!Anakin and I laughed so hard I cried. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. I promise you will have a good time reading this fic. And if the tag "Obi-Wan Kenobi/212th Attack Battalion" puts you off, let me just say there's no sex in this at all, it's just thirst. And it's hilarious.

Full Disclosure by @trixree (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 2/3 chapters, 7.4k words) ROTS AU in which the Force bonds Obi-Wan has formed with a few members of the 212th save them from the chip and Order 66, but it doesn't stop the devastation from happening on a mass scale and they all have to try and deal with Mustafar and Luke and Leia. This fic manages to be both extremely soft and extremely gut-wrenching at the same time, and I wish I could leave more kudos. Full disclosure (get it, little pun there for ya), I will be dying until the final chapter comes out. Time to go listen to Olivia Rodrigo and reread this fic and just live in my feels.

Thirteen Days by @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12 (gen, one-shot, 4.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Post-Zygerria arc, Anakin dresses an unconscious Obi-Wan's injuries and struggles. Ahhhh this fic is one of my favorite Zygerria arc fics, and given that that's my favorite arc, that's saying a lot! Obi-Wan doesn't say a word in this fic, but his presence is very much there, if you know what I mean. And the descriptions of injuries here are pretty graphic at times, but it's so good that you'll want to keep reading even if you have to do it through the fingers covering your eyes.

brother, let me be your shelter by @kenobilovebot (gen, one-shot, 1.6k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) This fic packs so much tenderness in a short amount of words. It covers an AU in which Obi-Wan's issues from Zigoola never really resolve, and Anakin finds out when -- well, you'll just have to read for yourself. I love Zigoola because it is such an excellent whumpfest for poor Obi-Wan and this fic is great for that, but also highlights Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship.

A Padawan At War (Again) series by @itstimeforstarwars (gen, 3 parts, 100k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) In this series, Obi-Wan and Anakin are transported from The Phantom Menace into the Clone Wars and have to deal with all that comes with it: fighting wars, discovering a Padawan you never knew you had, dueling your grandmaster who apparently is a Sith Lord now(?!) and all the rest. This series is a great ride, and I look forward to every update. Note: the first fic in this series is a one-shot that was expanded upon, and it drops you in media res. The second fic is a prequel that shows how they got to that point, and the third fic is the sequel that shows what comes after.

The Desert Storm series by @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning (complete, 24 parts, 1.144 million words) There has never been a better time to start reading this series. If you read Star Wars fics on AO3, then you've definitely seen the Desert Storm series before, but maybe you were daunted by the high word count, or felt like it would be too much effort to go all the way to the beginning of a series but couldn't just jump in halfway. Let me tell you, it's 100% worth it, and now is the perfect time to read this series if you haven't already. This series is complete, but it turns out it's all just Act 1 of the larger story, which will continue in the Rise and Fall series. @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning is taking a break right now before starting the next series, so you have ample time to get caught up, and YOU REALLY SHOULD. Let me tell you, this series had me on the edge of my seat more than any other piece of media I can remember. With the most recent chapters, where everything that has been building for a million words came to a head, I would get so worked up after each chapter that beforehand I would have to queue up calming things to watch afterwards, and it still wouldn't be enough and I'd be too full of feelings to get anything done the rest of the day. Seriously, this series is amazing. And if you HAVE read it before but haven't reread, now is the perfect time for that as well. I've reread this series multiple times and it's so rewarding because the author sprinkled in so many hints as to what will come that you only understand the second (or third) time around. I know I've written a lot for this rec but this is a long series and it deserves it. Go read! Now!

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone’s Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

#star wars #fic recs #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #commander cody #qui-gon jinn #commander rex #jedi order #sw tcw

[whatiwillsay]

submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me.  but i am very emotional right now.  i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience.  ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support.  have you been financially impacted by this?  we can raise money.  do you need therapy?  we can help you find the support you need.  this community is unequivocally here for you.  whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will.  you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this.  i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened.  this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do.  this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia