#(and im speaking from experience. so nowadays i never bring it up)

[redysetdare]

As another non-split aroace, you're so correct for saying that we're treated as the punching bags of both aro and ace communities. Like if y'all can accept and support straight aros and aces but are hostile towards aroaces, you're just aphobic. Yes even if you're aro/ace yourself. Aro spaces nowadays literally have the same attitude towards aroaces that exclusionists used to have towards asexuals, that we're weird freaks bringing purity culture into their "safe" communities just by existing and therefore need to be pushed out. And ace spaces still act like we're the bad guys and need to be pushed out of their "safe" communities because we can't romantically love other people, which makes us heartless monsters apparently. It's just exhausting. I've never seen aroaces being so hostile towards non-ace aros and non-aro aces, we're always trying to uplift their voices and bring awareness to their issues. But the moment we try to talk about our own issues in aromantic or asexual spaces we're told to shut up and let them speak over us because we somehow have it better than them. Not to mention the pressure to split your experiences into aro vs ace and prioritise one part of your identity over the other if you want to be taken seriously in those spaces. Like sorry but for some of us our aroaceness is interwined not split. But we're still aros and aces, still a part of your community. Stop trying to push us out of our own communities on the basis of aphobic stereotypes.

Honestly I've been kinda biting my tongue on it for a while because I understand why Aro and Ace ppl have been trying to separate the communities. it can be frustrating to constantly be paired with an identity that you don't relate to - but i feel like so many ppl have taken it way to far. They've taken the relatively understandable stance of "Aromantic and Asexual are not the same identity" and pushed it to the extreme of "Aro and Ace are so completely different they have nothing in common and NO overlap" and the worst part is i don't think anyone has particularly noticed.

Idk I was most active in the aro and ace communities when we still kinda shared communities. the idea that aro and ace were separate was still a thing (hell, aroaces were the ones helping to push that distinction. we wanted people to recognize our aro identities too, yknow.) but we recognized the overlap and similarities and supported each other... now it just feels like im seeing post after post reminding people not every aro or ace person is aroace and that people shouldt tag aro posts as ace and vice versa and "no ace people cant relate to aro experiences" "no aro people cant relate to ace experiences" because "They are so different they are completely not the same and don't have any overlapping problems at all" and as an aroace it sucks!

it sucks feeling forgotten in my own communities.

It's almost feeling like they are blaming us for there being this idea that people are are Ace must also be aro and people who are aro must also be ace. Like they know they cant get mad at the allos so they get mad at aroaces and act like we are the reason allos think this way. It's like aroaceness is only brought up to talk about how "Not everyone is aroace" or "aroace characters are so much more prevalent in media (Proceeds to only talk about ace characters)" or how aroace ppl must have an identity that means more to them - how their aro or ace identity must be more important or effect them more because they can't possibly intertwined and overlap and "hey you tagged your post with aro and ace tags but obviously its only about aromanticism/only about asexuality so remove some of those tags because it's annoying me" or worse I see aromantics being acephobic or asexuals being arophobic and it's like.... where do i fit in?

people think aroace ppl ran both communities as 1 community and they say it was bad and that we need to separate - but from my perspective it was two communities who worked together. the only difference now is that aroace ppl are getting pushed to the side. thrown under the bus. "you dont need rep you have tons of rep. society loves giving aroace rep!" and "not everyone is aroace. you're experience isn't universal and so you shouldn't talk about it" Aroace voices just got smaller. we got quieter. because our own communities decided we were privileged. we were more accepted than they were. or worse that we were actually the real freaks for not feeling both sexual and romantic attraction. we weren't palatable enough - there was nothing that could be used to normalize us. and besides, it was easier to just only fight for one set of rights, right?

and part of me understands it. it sucks. it sucks to always be a footnote. but guess what - aro and aces and aroaces are footnotes of the queer community. we're stuck here together and instead we're fighting over who's the more important footnote. we are all in the same boat and we're acting like we're not and trying to sink the ship forgetting we're all on it together.

#asks #and to be clear this isn't saying that other aspecs asking for rep or asking for recognition is a bad thing that was never the issue #it's not about how aroallo people or alloace ppl are bad or evil or oppressors #this isn't about how arospec or acespec people are all actually out to get aroace people #this is about an experience aroace people sometimes have within aro and ace spaces because certain aros and aces decide we aren't worthy #because certain aros and aces decide we dont belong #anyways sorry this took so long to answer I was trying to word it in a way that was understandable #and hopefully in a way ppl wouldnt misinterpret #but then i realized ppl who have bad faith will purposefully do that #so i shouldn't worry too much #ppl who look at it in good faith will have a conversation with me. ppl who look at it in bad faith are just the people im talking about.

[starfxckersinc]

🐍/ every day i think of some new gross thing u said to me when i was young that ive been kicking around for 5 years. you don’t deserve the amount of love & care i still have for u, probably above anyone else. u need to stop bothering me and romanticizing me and making shit harder on me bc u have no idea who i am. the last time u talked to me i was 17. u literally have no fucking clue who i am as a person & u don’t rlly want me & more importantly u don’t deserve me or anybody like me. cute that u kept everything bc i have probably 5 things left from everything u ever gave me, me & o burned most of ur clothes. should’ve donated that rlly nice sweater actually but i was livid. emailing me on vday & then turning me away when i was dumb and lonely enough to want to speak to u again was like shooting me in the stomach, i feel like you’re the one who abandoned me and u keep doing it over and over again. u shouldn’t even be part of this post bc by 20 I shouldn’t have heard from u twice. u have ur own life. we didn’t make one together. go live it

🦊/ thankfully i have no way of ever seeing or hearing from u again. fuck u for staying in contact with my abuser. fuck you for having to hear how severely i was abused b4 you’d block her despite being my closest friend. how could you repeat so many things that id already heard, be so callous & manipulative & lie to me about so many things. what im most hurt by is ur willingness to turn into the person who hurt me worst in the whole world and how that made me feel afterwards, like i physically feel like im encased in wax all the time, no interest in anything but highly idealized fantasies, no belief that other people actually value or want me besides their projections. it’s been over a year and I feel physically disgusting and detached from the regular experiences of a young person bc of what u did to me & how u treated me. you are so incredibly slimy and nasty and i can’t even properly type out what all i wish i could say. i can’t believe i spent months crying or feeling nauseous every time i saw something as simple as a tiktok abt drug use but u probably haven’t thought of me or what you did to me for a year. it doesn’t rlly matter bc it’s better for everybody if we just forget the whole thing, but it brings me immense satisfaction to know how much of a liar you are. im just so glad we’re separated from one another so i can slowly repair my insides, though if i ever got an apology from you somehow, i really think i could let go easier. that probably will never happen because you’d believe, coward that you are, that i wouldn’t appreciate that apology & that it made u a better person to not give it to me. again, fine. i wish we had never gotten close, it was such a waste of time and life

♠️/ short one! u were creepy af to me but u felt like my closest friend after all that shit went down & i was having hypomania/was totally unbalanced & fucked up. wanting to come see me was a red flag. hitting on me all the time was a red flag. involving me in decisions regarding my ex who was ur friend throughout ur teenhood was a red flag, telling me my insistence about protecting her would kill her, um, enormous red flag. the jokes abt fucking me, the only txting me nowadays to tell me I’m attractive, & then calling what id been thru redundant & saving face in front of ur gf like u hadn’t been paling around w me about my interests/issues already & hadn’t demonstrated that u were cool w them. it hurt me to lose u a lot more than i thought, and it still hurts, bc u really betrayed me. what did i expect from one of her friends, i guess? nobody was good to me after that shit went down. I thought u were my friend.

♣️/ even shorter: fuck you, you’re a dumbass & ur priorities are so? unnecessary & apathetic

🌪/ this controversy hasn’t cooled off enough to rlly dig into it but ur also a liar and a damn coward, ill be getting to you shortly

#aberdeen spoken word

[cozymochi]

waitwaitwaitwaitwait you draw on your PHONE? you drew all of this amazing work on your P H O N E ? ? ? are you an art GOD ?????

Y YY EEEE aAaaA HHHHHHHH 😭💕

It doesn’t really feel like an accomplishment tho, it feels more embarrassing cuz every time people bust in and ask “oh word what programs do you use?? What kind of tablet??”

im like….

Which is a lame mindset to have because my previous professors (with no knowledge of what i use but know i never define it) say “oh it doesn’t matter what programs or tools you use!”

well yeah, it doesn’t…..per se…..

until it does, and some employers in fields u wanna invest in specifically ask for experience and knowledge on using specific programs or tools and ur sitting here on some random free art app no one has heard of on a mediocre phone (which might be the most first-world problem i’ll say)

JuSt a thing where folk think quality = what stuff you use. AND WHILE THAT ISN’T true, i still kinda yknow. I’m endlessly embarrassed cuz it just sounds so bad on paper

#cozy ask #me: hrr hrr medibang hrr hrrrr iphone se hrrrrr #cant understand real programs actually of value hrrrrr then some people get super padantic #pedantic i mean. #im just gonna be dismissed right away on principle from just about anybody #(and im speaking from experience. so nowadays i never bring it up)

[saejinws]

let’s get it! it’s chey ( she/her ), bringing you wishbone’s act #2, paksae. he’s an indie artist with heavy influence from the bedroom pop & chillwave micro-genres, as you can gather from his three official singles at the moment: cassette, karma & late night movie. if discord is more convenient for you, you can add me there ( stream do or not#1490 ), but otherwise, i’m usually reachable in ims! here are saejin’s links : career / stats / plots / pinterest, and hopefully all the other information you need will be found below.

the story.

saejin was lucky enough to be born into a relatively happy family, albeit a small one. both parents are only children, so he didn’t have aunts, uncles or cousins, and only his maternal grandparents were heavily involved with the family, but it was alright! lower middle class, mom who made him watch bird documentaries, dad who had a face made out of stone, but there was still a lot of love. it was nice.

the first big change happened when his little sister ( saebyeol ) was born. her existence put a tragic end to his legacy as the park family’s number one baby, considering she’s a whole eight years younger than him.

in the next year, his mom was diagnosed with a chronic illness; one that would see her rapidly going in and out of hospitals for years to come, so the days of naïve happiness were over for saejin. from that point on, it was about “cherishing every moment” and “living life to the fullest” and “not wasting breath on things that can’t be changed”.

aka his mom’s circumstances meant that he was constantly getting scolded by doctors, rns, family friends, his dad, whoever for displaying negative emotions. was shut down a lot, told that he was being a hassle and that he needed to make things easier for his mom. learned to suppress his emotions unless they were positive.

but while most adults in his life were trying to teach him how to be realistic and approach life with an understanding that nothing is easy, his mom worked hard to do the exact opposite. constantly pushed him to chase his dreams because life is so short, and when he decided that he was going to pursue music, she was the first person to tell him to go for it and give it his all.

got his first guitar at age 14, which is when he started writing his own songs and messing around with editing software, but it wasn’t until 2015 that he started playing his music for people. started in coffee shops ( at this point, his songs were entirely acoustic ), then started playing in clubs in hongdae, which is when he started experimenting with his sound. struggled to gain attention. can’t think of what it’s called rn, but there’s a set amount of tickets that opening acts have to sell to earn their spot in a lineup; saejin’s parents and close friends usually bought a tonnn to help him out because strangers wouldn’t give him the time of day. a nobody. hung out after his sets to meet people, but nobody wanted to meet him. pain.

popularity steadily grew over time, and by late 2019, he was in talks with wishbone records. by the new year, he was a signed artist.

assumed that having a record deal guaranteed International Stardom, so you can imagine his surprise when his first music video hardly gained 5k views in the entire debut week... it was an eye-opening experience for him. realized that the grind was, in fact, not over yet. 

his popularity is on a steady incline, but he still isn’t anywhere close to being a household name. very lowkey. he pretends that he doesn’t care, but it eats away at him. spends most of his time in his studio nowadays, trying to create a song that will pull him into the charts. becoming more distant from his parents because he’s so caught up in work, so that’ll probably come back around to bite him in the ass eventually but yk... oh well.

saebyeol is the only family member whom he couldn’t distance himself from if she tried because she’s a parasite. always at his apartment or blowing up his phone, which drives him absolutely crazy because her favorite pastime is ruthlessly bullying him. she’s a little demon.

the character.

park saejin, aka PAKSAE. ‘97. seoulite. soloist.

social introvert. he prefers to spend time alone and usually doesn’t seek company, but if he’s approached first, he’s a relatively open book. forms bonds quickly.

gets unreasonably attached to his friends in short periods of time, so he tries to keep his circle small. he can only deal with wondering why three people aren’t texting him back in a single day: any more than that and he spirals.

pretty optimistic view of life, i think. could’ve become jaded due to his mom’s situation, but she’s made huge efforts to keep his worries minimal and be the best role model she can be in her circumstances. has tried to instill a “life is short, so embrace every moment with open arms” mentality in both of her kids, which saejin picked up on a whole lot more than his little sister has. you probably wouldn’t assume this by listening to his Pity Party Songs ( as saebyeol puts it ), but he’s a happy guy!

on the topic of his pity party songs, all three of his singles so far are a bit sad/melancholic, detailing looking back on the ending of something. he rarely expresses sadness or regret in his day-to-day life, but he considers music to be an outlet. the one place he can be as real as he wants without being criticized. ( that’s what he thought before, anyway. nowadays, he’s constantly getting comments about how nobody wants to listen to him cry about his breakups. fair enough. )

his appearance contradicts his personality. on the outside, he seems like a very loud, expressive person: vibrant colors, unusual materials ( silk chiffon, organza, velvet, etc ), lots of accessories such as gaudy rings, y2k-style beaded necklaces & polymer clay earrings that he probably buys from etsy. but he’s really, really chill & soft-spoken, tries to blend in even though it’s... impossible when he looks the way that he does.

gets most of his social interaction through the sporadic gigs that he plays. on stage, he’s highly expressive and interactive with his fans. when i think of his stage presence, i think of artists like lauv & troye sivan: he utilizes all of his stage space, even when performing more mellow songs. doesn’t want to just stand around and bore his audience. but nowadays, he rarely waits around to meet people because he’s become even more introverted than he was before. in his day-to-day life, there are only about three people whom he contacts frequently and always shows up for. otherwise, his connections are situational: associates the people in his life with certain places, things or activities and rarely meets up with them outside those situations. prefers to communicate through texts or social media messages if he can, but even then, if you aren’t one of his three closest friends, it’s difficult to reach him unless he needs or wants something.

but even tho he’s SUCH a loner... he’s what i like to call a serial romantic. not on a dating ban and also not that popular anyway, so he goes on a lot of dates. blind dates, tinder dates, whatever. texting his friends like “i think i’m in love” twice a month but he’s never talking about the same person. wears a heart-shaped rose quartz pendant to try to manifest meeting his soulmate but he doesn’t want to be clowned for believing in the power of crystals/stones ( or for being so obsessed with love even though it’s OBVIOUS if you listen to his music ) so he says he just wears it ‘cause it’s nice to look at. 

his stage name, 박새, is a type of bird. it’s usually stylized as paksae, so most people don’t question it much, but eventually his intl fanbase got curious about what it means and popped the hangul into a translator: lo and behold, he’s now “affectionately” referred to by fans in english-speaking regions as tit. it isn’t saebyeol’s fault but he’s definitely found a way to blame her for it.

if you go to any of his music videos, you will find numerous comments from paksaeanti05. that’s saebyeol. usually she’s hating on him, but if anyone ELSE tries to hate on him, she turns into a keyboard warrior. she’s his biggest critic and his most loyal supporter.

#ws:intro

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Breath and Blood #Light and Void

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

#homestuck #party god #jade harley #timeline shenanigans #june egbert #rose lalonde #dave strider #jane crocker #jake english #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #aradia megido #sollux captor #karkat vantas #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #calliope #jasprose #davepeta

[shurisneakers]

espresso [10]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning:  mentions of past cheating, angst, alcohol

A/N: im back after 2 months lol hello to the 4 people who still read this this is my entry for  @viktordrago‘s writing challenge. everyone say thanks to @samingtonwilson for putting up with me and being the best

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 9 || Espresso Masterlist

The world around you was dark when you stepped outside, shutting the door of your house behind you and pulling your jacket tight across your body in hopes of evading the chilling wind nipping at your cheeks.

It was the night before Christmas Eve– or as Bucky so poetically named it:  “Christmas Eve-Eve” – and you couldn’t help but be disappointed at the thought of your upcoming night. You dreaded having to spend time with someone who would inevitably serve as a way to pass time and nothing more. You almost felt bad that they were trying their hand at someone who was so out of the game before it had even begun– but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel sympathetic.

Bucky had chosen the most popular bar in your town as the venue– a bar which checked ID’s as a mere formality, a bored security employee glancing at the birthdate and shrugging to let in most people who simply “looked old enough.”

With scuffed wooden stables and pictures of frequent patrons, nearby teams, or people they were proud to have once served, the bar was never truly empty, it always had at least one or two groups drinking until they blacked out. And like always, the bar was filled with the warm sounds of people laughing, glasses clinking together in celebration and drunken karaoke with no musical accompaniment.

Your eyes quickly scanned the crowd, looking for someone who was possibly dressed for a date. And you found none.

Sighing, you quickly shot off a text to Bucky about the whereabouts of your supposed company for the night, Scott, shuffling from the doorway when the bell above the door jingled upon its opening.

Receiving an ineffective “He isn’t there yet?” in response, you sighed once more and stuffed your phone into your pocket, deciding that a stool at the bar counter was your best bet. After all, if your date wasn’t going to show up, then at least you could drown yourself with enough alcohol to have a good time alone.

“Y/N?” 

If you hadn’t committed that voice to memory for reasons you refused to acknowledge, you would have believed you were hallucinating.

Your jaw clenched, then relaxed. Fuckin’ Dolores. “Dot? What are you doing here?”

“Hey! What a coincidence!” she laughed, pulling you into a gentle hug as your body stiffened uncomfortably against the contact. She didn’t seem to notice. “I’m here to meet someone. What about you?”

“Date.”

“Really?” She tilted her head. “Wait– is this one of those dates Bucky’s setting you up on?”

You gave her a tight-lipped smile in return, eliciting a sigh and a shake of her head.

“God, he’s so fucking dense.” She rolled her eyes, her lips stretching into a fine line of what looked to be pity. You didn’t ask what she’d meant by it and only quirked an eyebrow. It’s not like you disagreed, per se.

“Well, hey, if your date’s running late, you’re more than welcome to hang out with me.”

“Um-“ You racked your brain for an excuse not to, but found none that’d be polite enough so you relented, repressing a scowl. “Sure?”

You followed her lead through the crowd, stopping at a set of stools placed before the counter. Motioning at an empty pair, she told you to sit and that she’d be right back once she found the friend she was meeting.

You obliged and slid onto one of the stools to face the door, the palm of your hand supporting your head. You could feel the onset of a headache which did nothing to make you feel better.

You were in a mood, obviously, and it was not one that screamed approachability. It irked you that every time you came close to even letting Bucky know what you wanted, the universe had other plans. And even with that anger and dissatisfaction, you would have rather spent time with him and Becca than at a bar, waiting for the last date of your stupid bet.

It was a while before you felt someone beside you and you didn’t bother to look up until there was obnoxious laughter, forcing you out of your reverie.

“Oh, this is my friend, Y/N,” Dot said as she got settled in her seat, nodding to the bartender you had yet to acknowledge, a grin on her face.

“Hey there.”

You laboriously lifted your head to answer his greeting, only to have your words die down in your suddenly dry throat.

“I’m Brock, but everyone just calls me Rumlow.”

You stared blankly at him, eyes too baffled to blink. It felt as if you were frozen. You could see the recognition in his eyes but he made no attempt to make that recognition known.

To say it hit you like a truck would be an understatement. You weren’t sure if your sight was deceiving you, but you hadn’t drank any alcohol yet nor had you ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms so it couldn’t be that.

Fuck.

“Is something wrong?” Dot interrupted your growing panic, bringing you back to the moment harshly.

He hadn’t moved, only jutted his hand further out in an attempt to give you a handshake.

“No,” you replied roughly, trying to look at him as coolly as you could– as if everything inside you was calm. “Nothing at all.”

“Have you met before?” Dot asked, intermittently glancing at the both of you.

You watched him silently, assessing his face to see what he would say.

“This would be the first time,” he said with a smile so casual, you almost missed the tiniest bit of uncertainty that flashed across his face.

“Oh, cool,” she shrugged. And even her shrug nearly had you jumping.

“Can I get you both anything?” He gestured behind him to the numerous bottles lining the shelves; some so old they had begun to collect dust.

“Just a beer. Y/N?”

You mutely shook your head, not taking your eyes off him.

“Bottle or pint?”

“Bottle,” she replies easily, smiling easily, breathing easily.

He nodded and left the two of you to get her a bottle.

“How, uh, how do you know him?” you cleared your throat, hoping to sound as inconspicuous as possible. She clearly had no idea about what was going on– and she thought Bucky was dense.

“We’ve known each other years. He was on the football team at Middleton. Met him when he came to our school for a game.”

“Ah.”

“Here you go,” Rumlow announced, placing an open glass bottle in front of her, returning his attention to you.

“Sure you don’t want anything?”

You shook your head again, dropping your gaze to the sticky counter instead.

He didn’t pursue it further, instead picking up a glass from under the counter.

“What’s going on with you nowadays, Dot?” he asked nonchalantly, gently wiping at the glass with a worn out towel.

You wanted to get out of here as soon as possible without raising suspicion, but your date hadn’t arrived and it hadn’t even been ten minutes since you sat down.

“Other than crying from constant stress and anxiety on a daily basis? Nothing much really,” she laughed, bringing the bottle to her lips.

“You both go to the same college?” he gestured between the two of you as if he didn’t already know.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him when his gaze lingered on you longer than you would have liked– so, at all.

He quickly returned to looking at her rather than you.

“Nah, we had a mutual friend who I met at a coffee shop recently and he introduced us. Actually,” she squinted. “You might know him. Bucky Barnes?”

You saw his jaw clench as he subtly raised his fingers to itch at his nose. It was still slightly disfigured from when it was last broken. You held yourself back from smirking smugly.

“Yeah, I know him. Barnes and I go way back,” his voice was venomous but his maintained composure overall.

Your knuckles were beginning to hurt with how hard your fists were clenched, almost like you were waiting for a moment when you would have to defend yourself.

“Hold on a second. You both-“ she straightened her back, putting her bottle down as she glanced between you both.

Your heart leapt to your throat.

Did she finally figure it out?

“You both used to go to the same school.” She furrowed her eyebrow as if she was trying to recollect a distant memory. “Yeah- Middleton, right? How haven’t you met each other before?”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I think I may have been a year or two ahead of you. Barnes and I were the same year,” he replied calmly before you could reply with what would probably have been an incoherent mess of sentences meshed together.

You leaned back, giving him a nod. “Yeah, that. What he said.”

“That makes sense.” She shrugged, letting go of the topic easily. She nudged your elbow gently, gaining your attention. “Any update on your date?”

“Uh-“ you quickly checked your phone, finding no texts or calls. “No. Don’t think it’s happening.”

“You waitin’ on a date?” Rumlow looked up from his distraction with sudden interest.

Raising an eyebrow, you simply replied, “Yes.”

“If he stands you up, he’s a dick,” Dot stated, raising her beer. “I fuckin’ hate it when people do that.”

“Wait, people have stood you up before?” he asked, putting down a glass and picking up another almost like clockwork, a teasing smile on his face. The scar above his near his eye crinkled when he did so.

You were there when he got that, some dumb fight his ego landed him in.

“More times than I would like.” She rolled her eyes, taking a large swig. “But it’s not the worst thing to happen on a date.”

“What could possibly be worse than not even being on one?”

“Lots of things, buddy. Bad dates are a whole other ballgame.”

You agreed silently, your experiences for the past few months speaking for themselves.

She continued, “What’s your worst date story, Rumlow?”

“Uh,” he paused before he laughed to himself. “If we’re not counting the stand-ups, middle school with this girl I liked before I realized she was the clingiest person I had ever met and tried to stick her tongue down my throat every five minutes.”

“Isn’t that exactly the way you are now? I see she later became your role model,” Dot tipped her bottle at him but he just rolled his eyes at her.

“Y/N.” Oh no. “Worst date story?” Fuck.

You had plenty of stories from the past few months, hell from even before that. But… there was no way you’d get this opportunity again.

“Got any good ones?”

Should you even dare to do that? Was it worth it? You didn’t even know how he would react. It was way too risky.

Oh, fuck it.

“High school, with this senior. I’d been dating him for almost two years and he asks me to come to a party as some excuse for a date,” you snorted a laugh. “That was a sign, like almost everything else he did, that our relationship wasn’t in a good place. So I thought, ‘Okay, we’ll get to talk things out.’”

You hear the sharp cling of Rumlow placing the glass back onto the countertop, but you ignored him, your smirk still very self-satisfied. You knew he knew where you were going with this.

You don’t take your eyes off him, watching the vein in his neck begin to strain against his skin. “I get there and all’s well until we start arguing about something stupid, don’t even remember what. You know how guys are.” Dot nodded with a roll of her eyes.

“And we just keep yelling about things that don’t even matter, about things that we’d pulled from thin air. Just, you know, anything to get a rise out of the other, really.”

You could see him swallowing but never breaking his composure.

You glanced at Dot. She was listening intently, chin resting on her palm. You took it as a sign to continue.

“Then it was just incoherent screams and then,“ you inhaled, forcing yourself to loosen your grip before your knuckles splintered, “he says he’d been cheating on me for about a year by then. Someone from another school so that no one we knew would see them together.”

Dot drew in a sharp intake of breath. “Shit.”

“That wasn’t even the worst part. He came from a pretty rough background and used to borrow cash off me often. I didn’t think much of it, because you know, it’s his own business, and I just wanted to help him out how ever I could.” You laughed humorlessly. “Turns out he was using that money to spend on the other girl he was with. Bought her cute stuff, took her out on dates on the days he stood me up, the works. It was pretty fucked up.”

“Jesus Christ.”

You could see him look at Dot after her reaction and you wondered if he was actually scared you’d tell her the truth.

“And then he broke up with me. I think he left her soon after that too because he lost his source of income.” You looked at him straight in the eye, never once blinking. You hoped he was squirming. “Fucked me up for a little while, especially since I saw him around the rest of his senior year until he finally graduated– which was unexpected given his academic record. Didn’t really bother with any kind of relationship after that.”

“That’s screwed up on so many levels. I’m sorry, dude,” she didn’t say anything further, and you didn’t really expect her to.

“Enough about me, though. What about you?” You put on a small smile.

“Nothing I’ve experienced could come close to that, buddy, I think you’ve outdone all of us,” she joked, laughing to herself.

“It isn’t a competition, you know.” You nudged at her. You deliberately were avoiding looking at him, noticing from the corner of your eye that he had stopped his cleaning and was instead leaning on the countertop. “C’mon, what’s your worst?”

“Honestly nothing too bad. Just a few incredibly lame dates, but other than that-“

“Hey, why don’t you tell Y/N here about the disaster of a relationship in your junior year?” he broke in loudly, gaining your attention.

“God, no, we agreed to never talk about that,” she playfully rolled her eyes at him but he looked adamant.

A smile spread across his cheeks, one that was almost sinister. He glanced at you silently, letting his gaze linger, leaving a unsettling feeling in your gut. Suddenly, you didn’t feel so great about what was about to happen.

“No, no, I’m sure she’d be very interested in hearing all about it.”

“Jesus, fine.” She chugged the rest of her beer, almost as if it was for courage. “Brock and I had this very brief-“

“It wasn’t brief,” he protested.

“Fine. He and I had a fling for a year in high school.”

“In my senior year.”

It felt like your blood ran cold.

“It was fun but then we agreed it didn’t work out because he was graduating.” She poked at his shoulder but he wasn’t paying any attention to her.

He was staring directly at you and for good reason.

“It was great. We hung out a lot, even though we weren’t in the same school. Almost felt like more than a year.”

“We were never ‘official.’” She used air quotation marks, obviously trying to downplay it. It clearly wasn’t something she liked talking about but he kept pushing it.

“But that didn’t stop us from doing a lot of things.” He smirked and she punched his arm.

Your mouth opened and closed like some kind of fucking fish but it felt like you couldn’t breathe. He cheated on you with Dot? With fucking Dot?

Was there anyone in your life not interested in her?

“It’s embarrassing and we agreed never to mention it again,” she said something after that but it was like you were tuning everything out to try and make sense of it on your own.

But it didn’t.

It didn’t make any sense. How did you miss this? Fuck, you never bothered finding out the girl’s name. You didn’t even know what she looked like or which grade she was in.

Idiot.

“I-I need to go,” you choked out, grabbing your phone and stuffing it into the pocket of your jacket haphazardly, fingers trembling. You couldn’t believe he had gotten under your skin again and you had just completely given him a chance to do so.

“So soon?” Rumlow asked, feigning surprise. You couldn’t even look him in the face but his amusement was glaringly obvious.

“Wait, did something happen?” Dot grabbed a hold of your shoulder and you nearly threw it off.

Don’t fucking touch me.

She looked taken aback but didn’t voice it. “Do you need me to drop you off somewhere?���

“No. No, I’m just gonna go.”

“Y/N-“

Get out, get out, get the fuck out of there.

“It was nice meeting you!” He called out from behind you.

Your head was reeling. You didn’t even turn around for a final look, just stumbled out of the bar into the deserted street.

After calling for an Uber that was only a minute or two away, you stumbled over your own feet to the car and asked the driver to step on it, praying that he wouldn’t try to make conversation with you.

Your fingers hovered above Bucky’s contact as you stared at his name. There’s no way he would have known. He wouldn’t have done this to you, would he?

“Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be on a date-“

“Did you know?”

“What?” On any other occasion it would be a relief to hear Bucky’s voice after another shitty date but now it just furthered your rage.

“Did you fucking know?”

The excitement he’d expressed in his voice when he’d first answered the call seemed to diminish and worry took its place as he replied, “Know what?”

“About Rumlow.”

He went silent. “What about him?”

“That he worked at the fucking bar you sent me to, James. Jesus Christ.” You rolled your eyes so hard you hoped it would somehow translate to his end.

“I- Y/N- what?”

“What about him and Dolores, huh?” Bucky had to have known about that. For Christ’s sake, their dumb sport of grown men chasing a ball would have allowed them to spend an absurd amount of time together.

“Wait, what does Dot have to do with any of this, I’m so-“

“You two were on the same goddamn football team Bucky, how could you have not known?” Your volume had risen exponentially and you ignored the questioning stare the driver gave you through the rearview mirror.

“You’re not making any sense here Y/N, I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.” He almost sounded distressed and if you weren’t so riled up, you would have already stopped by now.

“He cheated on me with her,” Your stomach felt like it was being twisted into knots when you finally said it out loud. You sunk into your seat, quietening. “She’s the girl from the other school.”

He fell silent for a few moments once more. “I don’t understand.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” your voice cracked and you tightened your grip on your phone, pinching your thigh with your other hand.

Keep it together, damn it.

“Tell you? I didn’t even know-“

“Did you-” It felt fucked up to even think it but it felt like the irrationality hit you out of nowhere. “Did you set me up with this?”

“Wait, what-”

“Rumlow, Dot– this was too fucking coincidental.” You were justifying it more and more with every passing second, your mind spinning absurdities. “Was there even a date tonight or were you just fucking with me?”

“I… I can’t believe you just asked me that,” his voice was soft. “I would never, ever-“

“You never once hinted to me about her and…” you trailed off. “You’ve been hanging out with her months, James, don’t tell me you knew absolutely nothing about this.”

“Do you really think that I would hide something like that from you?”

“I don’t know anymore.”

“What does that even mean-“

“What about the past four dates, huh?” you interrupted again. “You claim to know me, yet every single one of these guys were people you knew I wouldn’t like. Was it all just one big fucking joke? Because if it was, this would be a perfect ending.”

“That was never my intention and you know it.“ You could tell that Bucky was struggling to keep his cool.

“I don’t know,” you admitted quietly. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

You could hear him exhale through the phone. “Wow.”

“Bucky-“ you hesitated, only to have him cut you off.

“That’s just… really unfair, you know? If you really believe I’d go out of my way to do something like this to you then I don’t think there’s anything I can say.”

“I guess there isn’t.”

Part 11

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #college!bucky #college!au #college!bucky x reader #kumis5kchallenge #espresso fic

[jewpacabruhs]

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 

#txt #mine

[johnnys-so]

I recall you saying you don't know Day6 well enough for an analysis, but what about now? If you can, we'd love one. Thank you!

HEYOOO! 

Umm a lot hasn’t changed on that front but I feel like the distance might be a good thing so I’m going to attach some small mini-analysis after the cut.

sungjin

Bob is literally the most dad friend ever and I think he really takes the cake (though GOT7′s JB comes a close second). He looks so constantly done with all of his members, and yet - probably the one who cleans the kitchen and makes sure to stock up on water/ramyeon/veggies etc.

I feel like he was born to be the hyung, you know? He is the responsible and primary caregiver type. Even though he doesn’t make a big show of it, it seems to be a big part of his personality that he takes care of other people

Also, my god his humour is just.... something commendable, truly. He can’t be funny to save his ass but atleast he keeps trying and i think THATS what so funny about him??? sungjin-ah.... never give up bby

I feel like he’s the least complicated of all members. He doesn’t seem to be the emotionally volatile type and seems very centred in his personality, he also seems oddly like he might have a sister? a younger one (does he? idk, mydays pls let me know). it’s just that other than the protective bear stereotype, he does seem emotionally well-adjusted. Maybe he’s just at that point in life where he can encounter a shitty day or some sort of hardship and look at it straight and say - ok, that’s fucked up. But I guess we gotta just work through it. (in comparison, wonpil would be shrieking through his lungs AND working through it)

in terms of a temper i think he most certainly has one but it takes him a while to get there and i don’t think he’d talk through it AT ALL. maybe cleanliness would be his pet peeve? (im just shooting in the dark here)

to wrap it up, sungjin is the sort of guy (in my opinion at least) who has a strong and steady value system and he’s sort of ok with dealing with the world as long as he has it figured out in his head. He knows who he is, and therefore there is little conflict he brings to the world. If he wasn’t playing in this band, I’d 1000% see him settle for the corporate life and clean9 to 5 job which lets him come back home by 7pm and have some cold beer while watching football and hearing his kids play in the living room

Jae

Aww man this skinny bitch. I feel like the fandom is sleeping on his ‘annoying prankster’ potential because i think  he’d give peeves a run for his money

derives great joy from the misery and anguish of others (probably has Wonpil maniacally laughing in the background)

on a normal day Jae is the sort of person who’s probably going through memes on the phone while everyone’s having a serious conversation about their tour or like their everyday schedules. He has a few things he cares about in life and is okay to take a backseat when it comes to the other shit. As long as he gets what he needs (a possible slytherin mofo?)

But that’s not to say that he’s easygoing or wishywashy about the things that he does care about. Music, matters a lot to him. Even though he’s not academically musically instructed (as young k is) he has spent a whole lot of time and effort into educating himself to the point that it really shows in their albums (i could wax poetry about the complexity of Day6′s music and how its so refreshing in it’s personality of being both goth and peppy i-). So Jae is most certainly determined, goal driven and very intrinsically motivated

Also, very much in his head. If he doesn’t have a strong pisces placement, I’m willing to eat my foot. I feel like while Young K is very intense about his emotions, Jae gets very emotional about the people he surrounds himself with.

With people: not very trusting of everyone. Has a chosen few that he goes to certain things about. Might be the kind of person who distributes his troubles by categories to various confidants. But also, trust is something that is earned with jae. But that is not to say that he won’t get along with other people. He’s cordial and is good in engaging a crowd (as a performer, MC, friend, VJ) but he’s also good at drawing lines and boundaries

the most incredible part of his personality for me has always been his work-ethic and his drive to be better. He’s always challenging himself through his existing skill set, but also pushing himself to learn new things. Sounds like a bloody workaholic to me. 

probably shit at figuring out his own feelings/emotions/attitude about certain things. But always up for being the wise advice-giver to other delinquents (read: jamie)

sarcastic wit to sass everyone for days. probably a loki over thor guy

Kink master extraordinaire. Likes cooking up shit and encourages people to sin.

Young K

emo baby af. But we all knew this so more on that later

The ultimate Onion of a personality. Young K, off the bat, seems like he hides so many layers. Not purposely at all, but simply because he’s unable to communicate the extent of his mental world to the public

one beautiful way he has found to channelise all of his thoughts and ideas about the world is clearly through his music and lyrics. But he’s also extremely creative in other ways (art and fashion). I feel like he’s the sort of person who feels most confident and assured in himself when he’s creating. 

socially, what a mess. I wouldn’t say he has trust issues like Jae does but im pretty sure he’s made some foolish mistakes about choosing friends and not realising how to navigate that friendship (friendships where he has demanded too much or has been demanded too much of??). But otherwise a jovial fool the kind of person who laughs the loudest (and dorkiest) at a dinner with friends

how’s his alcohol intake? I have this super funny intake of a drunk young k trying to write mini love poems for all his friends and sungjin being called to take him home and the call actually begins with “did he try to be poetic again?”

while im trying to paint a picture of him as a jester (because young k also needs to be seen for beyond his emotionality) he’s the kind of guy that would surprise you with how brilliant he is. An actual wisecrack/genius, and very underappreciated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he someday returns to teaching

Right. Emotionality though. If he isn’t some pisces (sun or moon) i will actually yell. He’s the definition of ‘someone who navigates an alternate plane, is open to a world that most people don’t even begin to understand exists’. i feel like speaking to him about abstract concepts - such as the existence of truth, the point of life, the definition of beauty, other existential phenomenon - would be so much fun because he’s have such an interesting and unconventional take on things. I feel like he’s make me humble with the words he has (he already makes me feel so secure with all of his lyrics because i realize, even if the world is shit what a relief that someone like young k exists)

probably would be a guilt-ridden but a wonderfully emotionally supportive boyfriend. Someone who understands your demons all too well and would go the extra mile to provide whatever help he can

1000% has high neuroticism scores that would be cause for concern. someone give him a Beck’s depression inventory right away.

HAHAHAHAH probably the fucking kinkiest mofo, after Jae

Wonpil

An actual baby!!

No ok but wonpil has matured THE most in all of Day6 and i really didn’t realise it until i notice how his expressions have become more closed during airport pics, and his voice has gained a new level of emotionality in live stages, and he’s also a lot more reserved these days on variety shows

still the most extrovert in the group. I just think the fame, the crowd, the possible betrayals as a result of their growing fame and having to be an adult in this tough situation - has gotten to him. But that’s inevitable really. None of us can be protected from the reality of life that leeches away at our innocence

such a vibrant soul. Such a giver. As a friend, he’s literal sunshine. Not much of a protector, but more of an amicable I’ll-always-be-there-for-you sort of person (though im guessing the amount of people he extends this courtesy to nowadays has probably reduced. 

fucking made to be an entertainer. He’s naturally funny and attracts all the energy (and eyes) in the room to himself. A very good mood maker if you will

in terms of neuroticism, I think he’d be more on the depression (from the constant stress workstyle and the increasing loneliness) than an anxious person. I think he probably is a bit volatile in his emotions but that’s because he gets lost in the moment. He’s literally someone who lives in the present far more than he lives in the past (sungjin or young k) or the future (jae)

don’t think he's intrinsically motivated much. Prone to a lot of lazy days, a lot of extreme gaming and just randomnly playing jokes and pranks on people. he’d need some strongly external guidance/deadlines to get his work ethic going

high extraversion and agreeableness, probably low on conscientiousness (especially discpline) but fascinated by aesthetic beauty (openness to experience).

Dowoon

Honest to god i cannot figure him out. I think it’s a case of - im trying to look deeper and harder but the truth is, it’s not even that complicated

underappreciated oppa potential 100000%

still comes through as a dork of a maknae. has zeROhand eye coordination outside of drumming. the kind of kid who breaks the glassware and blames it on his sibling (wonpil) and his parents totally believe him because he could do no wrong (aka sungjin grudginly yells at wonpil, again, about house rules)

just a man dedicated to his drums and his food. if he can play some solid beats, get some work done on the albums, play a nice set on a tour, have some chicken and beer while he is resting, have his hyungs fool around in the green room --> he good bruh

but by no means does that make him a fool (though i do think he’s a bit of a fool sometimes when it comes to picking up social cues about wonpil/jae making fun of him. he lacks the ���치 you know what i mean)

Also (maybe I just love plot twists) but i think he’d be eerily good at picking up on people feeling sad/depressed/lonely/off in general. He’d be like that guy who just walks into the room and sees you just slinking away on the sofa and he thinks.... nah im just going to give them space and go get myself some food. But literally a few seconds later, he sits by you on the sofa, offers you food, and asks what’s on your mind. The silent supporter kind. Willing to listen, willing to be there for you

i don’t know much about dowoon so im just going to end this with: arms that can lift kids/ crush you in a bear hug/ pin you against a wall and leave bit marks on your neck

sorry if that didn’t cover much. I sort of only know day6 with their music. If im extremely wrong or way off about someone, please reach out and correct me!!

#day6 #character analysis #sungjin #young k #jae #wonpil #dowoon

[redandfranticfeelings]

an autistic analysis, lyric by lyric, of ‘i love play rehearsal’

ive been hyperfixating over bmc for the last month and i keep thinking about how autistic the main characters are and christine is so very very very autistic coded to me. so i decided im just going to straight up deconstruct the lyrics of her signature song in the context of her being autistic (and also having adhd, but my experience is mostly in autism)

this is very very rambley and based more on personal experience than research, so i doubt itll be interesting to anybody but me, but i just want to talk about christine, the autistic queen

I love play rehearsal Because its the best! Because it is fun. I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon as its done.

it goes without saying that chrstine’s special interest is theater right? the way she treats it as the “highlight of [her] life” and then switches into this song after acting completely awkward and disinterested in jeremy outside of the context of him being engaged in her special interest.

But not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed No, im not into self-harm Dude, I swear, here check my arm!

overexplaining in a way that reads very much like speaking before she thinks, even though bringing up self harm in casual conversation with someone you barely talk to is not exactly proper etiquette. i think this is also an adhd trait? going faster than your own brain. that’s basically this whole song.

See, I just use the word to emphasise a point, Show the passion I have got I am passionate a lot. I have mad, gigantic feelings, Red and frantic feelings, About most everything Like gun control, like spring,

a lot of people assume autistic people are typically emotionless but it’s also very easy for us to get caught up in emotional issues especially when it comes to stuff we love, and it catches us off guard. christine being hyperempathetic is implied later in the show when she has that awful survivors’ guilt over making fun of rich and jake, and it also plays into her being so socially conscious as well.

Like if I’m living up to all I’m meant to be.

being an high school junior is really rough bc of all the decisions that have to be made regarding college and your future as an independent adult, and being autistic just makes it worse bc it can easily lead to burnout to deal with so much at once, if you even can comprehend these things much at all (i had no idea what to do, lol). i doubted my ability to grow up and succeed constantly because i had no idea who to talk to and what questions to ask and how to present myself. that’s something that a lot of people worry about, but having social delays makes it way more of a pressing issue than it is for neurotypicals, i feel.

I also have a touch of ADD. Where was I? Oh, right!

self explanatory and very canon. adhd and autism can be diagnosed simultaneously nowadays and the symptoms overlap a lot, btw.

I love play rehearsal, Cause’ you are equiped with direction and text, Life is easy in rehearsal, You follow a script so you know what comes next. Anywho the point that I’m getting to is sometimes life can’t work out in the way It works out in the play

this part screams autistic culture to me. unpredictability is scary because social situations don’t always go smoothly like in fiction! this is why social scripting is a popular therapy tactic for autistic children- you have to manually study social situations like a script. theater is something meant to be memorized and recited until you’re able to process it and manufacture emotion, but honestly for autistic kids, life feels a lot like that sometimes. remember how miserable she got when one of her favorite plays had the script changed without her permission to make a whole new story she doesn’t know? of course that’s just upsetting on its own, but in the context of her knowing theater so well and being fully prepared for one story only to be forced to learn a new one? ouch.

christine is never shown as comfortable outside her element- she hides in a book during “more than survive” and shrinks into nothing at the party. it’s a recurring theme that she has no idea exactly who she is, struggles with her identity outside of theater, and despite not really caring about how people see her, she does care about her own ability. socializing makes her feel awkward, especially when something totally unexpected happens like jake or jeremy asking her out. if she doesn’t have a plan or routine or, well, a script, then she can’t trust herself to go forward.

Like the only time I get to be the center of attention, Is when I’m Juliet or Blanche DuBois

as an autistic theater kid, i just really do relate to being clueless and dumb in real life but being able to totally thrive on the stage, because you can channel the energy that is usually misplaced in real life social interactions, and transfer it through dialogue and song and dance that someone else laid out nicely for you.

and can I mention? That was really one of my best roles, Did you see that?

an epic combination of letting your mind wander easily without caring about making sense to the person you’re speaking to, and taking every opportunity to infodump. in a lot of productions she even mimics her blanche voice just for fun. jeremy tries to respond here but she doesn’t care because she’s in her own brain where everything only really seems to make sense to her.

And no matter how hard I try, It’s impossible to narrow down the many reasons why, I love play rehearsal. I happiness cry whenever it starts!

if she isn’t being hyperbolic then this plays into my ‘so much emotion it’s hard to control’ thing detailed a bit above. either way, big special interest mood.

It’s just so universal Getting to try playing so many parts. Most humans do one thing for all of their lives, The thought of that gives me hives! I’ve got so many interests I wanna pursue,

it’s a lot easier to lose yourself and connect to your special interest than focus on your very complex, very overwhelming real life issues. escaping into fiction and being able to play in a variety of social situations as a totally different person, yay theater!

in general i just like the idea of christine struggling to visualize who she is and thinking about a lot of hypothetical but being unable to choose which one is most desirable or plausible. idk if that’s autistic or just a fun character trait lol. i know jumping from interest to interest is an adhd thing though.

this little passage is good for at least showing that christine distinguishes herself from ‘most humans’ in a way that isn’t so much ‘not like other girls’ but like ‘life is so much more confusing to me than it seems to be to others’ (which the show proposes isn’t exactly true and is the same closed-mindedness that jeremy has, though christine realizes it sooner; however; the sentiment rings true in that christine, as a neurodiverse young woman, has a lot more hoops to jump through than a neurotypical classmate.)

And why am I telling this to you? Guess there’s a part of me that wants to.

jeremy is also very autistic coded in my eyes, but that’s a separate post. i just like them being drawn to each other through that sort of kinship. also if you interpret her as having an unrealized requited crush on him…well, i think for a lot of us, romantic love is easy to confuse with friend love, if even that, because the specifics of emotions are a mess to unravel. (which also explains her confusion on her relationship with jake)

oh and right after this, she starts squawking just because she had the impulse to do so. vocal stimming, much?

Back to play rehearsal, My brain is like ‘bzzz’ My heart is like 'wow’

my brain is always like bzzz honestly lol. this is generally a pretty good way to describe being hyperfocused.

Because we’re here at play rehearsal, and it’s starting, We’re starting, It’s starting, Sooo-ooon.

it’s been confirmed as a deliberate decision that christine’s songs never end on a rhyme, except when she’s squipped and it isn’t ‘really’ her, because she subverts everyone’s expectations, including jeremy’s. i feel that could make for a nice simplified metaphor for autism, right?

#christine canigula #autistic headcanons #allistics can reblog! #be more chill #bmc #gif #long post #queue are so busted #i might do something like this for loser geek whatever and/or more than survive #or even just bmc songs in general if i cant get enough material from them individually #be more neurodivergent #kin tag

[rosapeachhogwartsmystery]

Spending time with Bowtruckles to relax (Hogwarts Mystery Imagine - (fem!)reader x Barnaby Lee)

Masterlist  (To view my Masterlist, visit my Tumblr page)

A/N: I kind of began writing it as a gender neutral fiction, but the ending isn’t really gender neutral anymore. So, I’ve written a warning so you will know where things aren’t gender neutral anymore. I’m sorry for those who want more gender neutral fictions with Barnaby. I’ll try to make the next fiction more gender neutral for you.

Words: 2.4k

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"There you are Barnaby Jr." You said when you were on the grounds where Care of Magical Creatures is given. You knelt down and gently let the Bowtruckle jump on your hand.

The Bowtruckle seemed happy to see you there, like it had been waiting for you to return. You weren't really allowed to bring the Bowtruckle along with you, because it was not on the list of pets you could keep. Besides, Bowtruckles could be dangerous if they were threatened. You would probably be punished if you brought the Bowtruckle along with you. You were glad Professor Kettleburn allowed you to take care of this Bowtruckle on this ground. You got attached to the Bowtruckle and you liked to take care of it.

  You smiled when the Bowtruckle went up to your shoulder. "You sure like climbing up, don't you?" You said amused. It was almost like Barnaby Jr. shrugged when you asked. Taking care of Bowtruckles was relaxing to you. It kind of helped you whenever you felt stressed out by your exams or the Cursed Vaults. Taking care of Magical Creatures just kept your mind from anything that could worry you. No one knew about you more spending time with Magical Creatures. You didn't mind them not not knowing about it, because you did prefer to keep them ignorant about the fact you were dealing with stress. How could they trust you with the Cursed Vaults if you were stressed? No, you wouldn't tell them about it, that was final. You didn't want them to worry about you, after all it was just a little stress, nothing more.

 You had been lying down on the grass when the Bowtruckle seemed to enjoy itself, climbing on top of you. "You seem to have a good a good time, Barnaby." You mumbled.  "How did you know I was here?"  You sat up and blinked when you saw the real Barnaby. You blushed a little and then you grinned awkwardly. "Oh, I.. eh... I was talking to the Bowtruckle." You mumbled. He seemed to be confused.  "You called a Bowtruckle Barnaby?" "Well, Barnaby Jr. is its full name, but that is a long story." Just thinking about giving the Bowtruckle that name made you blush. "Anyways, what are you doing here." You decided to change the subject, not wanting to tell him why you called the Bowtruckle after Barnaby.  "Oh, I thought Professor Kettleburn could let me help him with some Magical Creatures, just for some extra experience and stuff. It could help me become a Magizoolist in the future." He said honestly.

  "What about you?" Barnaby asked. "Oh, just taking care of this Bowtruckle during my free time." You said. "And sometimes I help Professor Kettleburn with other Magical Creatures." "Oh, I didn't know how much you were into Magical Creatures lately, Y/N. Do you also want to become a Magizoolist in the future?" He asked. "I'm not sure yet, but I sure do like Magical Creatures, especially Bowtruckles." "Awesome." He said with a smile before he walked closer to you and sat down. You were looking at the Bowtruckle, who seemed to be curious about the new person that sat down next to you.  "So, Kettleburn allowed you to take care of Barnaby Jr.?" He asked.

You nodded and smiled lightly. "Yeah, I got to meet the Bowtruckle during our fourth year. I got attached to it after Kettleburn told me to take care of it for a little while, so I came here once in a while to spend time with it."

  "I see, but I suppose you come here more often nowadays." Barnaby said. You blinked and looked at him.  "Why do you think so?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.  "People have been wondering where you are lately, especially Rowan." He said. "Of course, I was curious myself, but I thought it would be better to leave you alone. You were probably just busy." You rolled your eyes slightly with a grin.

"Well, thank you for being so considerate." You said softly. "I guess I should have expected people to find out I have been gone a lot more than I used to." "You shouldn't worry too much about it. I mean, if you want to have some time alone or anything they should respect that. I mean, they all have their own things as well."  "I suppose you are right." You said before you lied down on the ground again.

  "You are doing all right, aren't you?" Barnaby decided to ask.  You sighed. "I could be doing better."  "Oh..." He said, wondering if he could ask what was up or not. "If you want you can tell me, but that is up to you." You were unsure whether you wanted to tell him or not. After all, you didn't want to worry your friends because you were stressed. However, Barnaby seemed to be open minded, so he might not be too worried about it. You sighed and then you looked at him. "I'm just a little more stressed lately. Looking for the Cursed Vaults and studying for my N.E.W.T.s is harder than I thought. So, I come here mostly to relax and keep my mind from thinking about everything I am worried about."  "If this helps you with stress, it is a good way to cope with things. I mean, I heard taking breaks like these are important to keep going." He knew it was good to have breaks whenever you were studying hard. "It's a pretty hard year and I sure have quite some subjects to keep up with to pass this year." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

  "I think you have improved a lot these past years." You told Barnaby honestly.  He blinked. "You think so?"  "Yeah, you used to struggle a lot more during our third year." "Well, you guys have helped me out a lot." He said with a grin.  "That is what friends are for, right? Or do you still call me your partner?" You smirked lightly when you remembered him calling you a partner at the beginning. Barnaby chuckled, blushing slightly as well. "Well, you and Tulip used a Dungbomb on Ismelda and me." He said. "I wasn't sure if I could really trust you."  "And you do trust me now?" You asked amused.  "Most of the time, yes." He said with a grin.  "Good, that means you have learnt from spending time with me." You said with a wink.

"Well, being friends with you can be more difficult than being friends with Ismelda and Merula sometimes." He joked.

"So much more difficult, after all, I don't order you around or insult you." You said and then you rolled your eyes.

"No, you convince me to come along." He said amused.

"Well, you can't just force people, can you? I don't think I would be strong enough to force you." You said.

  "I don't know what you are thinking, but you seem strong enough to me." Barnaby said honestly.  "You must be mistaken, I'm not that strong." You told him.  "Well, you are strategic, so your intelligence is your strength. Also, you are not that easy to pull out of the way. I would say you have trained a little." He said with a grin.  "Besides duelling and flying class, I don't train that much." "You are also physically active during Care of Magical Creatures." He pointed out.  You shrugged and glanced away. Barnaby frowned and kept his eyes on you.  "Are you doubting yourself?" He asked.  "Sometimes." "Why?" He asked, not seeing why you should doubt yourself.  "Because I don't want things to go wrong. I mean, my brother got in serious trouble during his search. I suppose the older I get the more worried I get about looking for the Cursed Vaults." You explained. "I don't want to end up the same way Jacob did." "You don't want your wand to be snapped." He said.

  "Besides that, I have no clue what I want to do with my life after Hogwarts. I want to have good grades so I'm able to make choices, but so far I have no real directions. There are just so many things I would like to do, but eventually I would need to make a choice." You said. "And here I am, venting to you. Sorry about that." You mumbled, sighing softly afterwards.

"It is fine. You don't have to apologize." He said. "It seems like you really needed to, Y/N." "Still, I didn't mean to do such a thing." "It doesn't matter, you needed it. I think it is important you can vent yourself somewhere. You don't want to bottle your feelings up until you can’t handle it anymore, do you?” You knew Barnaby had a point. Bottling your feelings up could cause you to break down eventually. “I suppose you have a point.” You said honestly and then your ran a hand through your hair.

“You know, you can always talk to me if you want to, I mean, if that helps you out.” He said honestly. “I mean, it’s the least I can do, right?”

  Here you were, venting to Barnaby about how you were feeling. You honestly were surprised how easy he handled it. He didn’t seem to mind it, actually encouraging to be talk about how you are feeling.

“You don’t have to, I mean, I might not be the best person to talk to.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I do understand you would prefer someone else to talk to, someone who understands things better.”

“So far, you have understood me completely.” You told him honestly. “I think I have never talked about this to anyone else before… At least not like this.”

“So, you think I do understand what you have been talking about?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, you seemed to know what I meant.”

“I’m glad. I mean, it’s something I doubt sometimes.” He said with a chuckle.

“Let me guess, because people have called you stupid?”

“Exactly. People often think I won’t understand what they are talking about.” He said. “Well, perhaps if we are talking about Arithmancy, Potions and History of Magic, I won’t understand.”

“Well, I’m not good at every subject either, but that definitely doesn’t mean you are stupid.”

  Things got a little quiet between you two again before you decided to speak up again. “Everyone has something to deal with… Sometimes, it feels stupid to talk about your own problems when everyone has problems. I don’t want to bother you all, especially because I dragged you all in to this mess.”

Barnaby sighed softly. “You know, we all agreed to help you out, right? It isn’t like we are being forced to help you.”

“I just don’t get it. Why would you guys risking to help me? You all know it could get you in some serious trouble, right?”

“Of course, but you are also our friend and we won’t abandon you just because it is dangerous.” He said honestly. “Besides, people think it is dangerous to befriend me because of my parents.” He shrugged.

“Your parents don’t define you, Barnaby. Just like Jacob doesn’t define me either. We are just ourselves, nothing else.” You said with a smile. “You know? I actually feeling a lot better now. I guess I kind of forgot how nice it is to talk to someone about these kind of things.”

“I’m glad you are feeling better.”

“Maybe we can be each other’s venting buddies.” You chuckled. “So, you can complain and vent to me about your problems and you can listen to mine.” You joked.

“Sounds interesting. Does that also include spending time with Bowtruckles?”

“Of course! I’m sure Kettleburn doesn’t mind it if you are also taking care of Barnaby Jr.” You said with a sweet smile.

 fem!Reader ending

“Y/N!”

You turned around to see Penny and Rowan running towards you.

“Oh, hey guys.” You greeted with a sweet smile.

“Y/N, don’t tell me the rumour is real….” Rowan basically begged.

You raised an eyebrow. “What rumour?”

“About you and Barnaby.” Penny said. “We just want to know the truth.”

“You still haven’t told me about the rumour.” You said honestly, wondering what was so important. It was rumour, nothing more. There was no way it would have actually happened.

“They talked about a Barnaby Jr., Y/N.”

“Oh… Barnaby Jr.” You said, wondering what this rumour was about.

“So Barnaby Jr. does exist?” Penny asked with wide eyes. She couldn’t believe you said it so causally.

“Of course he does exist.” You said simply. “I didn’t know why you would make such a big deal out of it. I mean, Kettleburn allows me to take care of him. Barnaby didn’t even know about it before we spent some time together.”

“Wait, Kettleburn knows you are pregnant!?” Rowan nearly yelled.

“Woah!” You said, holding your hands up. “Pregnant? I’m not pregnant! Bloody hell, How could I be pregnant?” You said seriously.

“But who is Barnaby Jr. then?” Penny asked.

“Barnaby Jr. is the Bowtruckle I’m taking care of. Seriously, you guys I thought I was pregnant?” You frowned.

  Rowan and Penny stared blankly at you before they both understood was what was going on. “Oooooh….”

“Yes, really ‘oooh’. I can’t believe you guys thought it was about a baby…” You mumbled softly. “Besides, I might fancy Barnaby Lee, but I don’t recall having a fun night under the sheets with him if you know what I mean.”

  “Wait, you fancy me?”

You honestly thought you were going to die when you heard Barnaby’s voice behind you. Why did he have to be there? Why couldn’t he be somewhere else when you basically told him out loud you fancied him.

Rowan and Penny grinned awkwardly at you, giving you an apologetic look.

You took a deep breath and then you turned around to face Barnaby. “Yes, I do fancy you.” You said softly before you basically walked away from the scene.

This was definitely not what you had in mind. No, you were going straight to Care of Magical Creatures, so you would be able to calm yourself down again with Barnaby Jr..

  “What just happened?” Barnaby asked, looking very confused. He knew he would need to talk to you later, but he couldn’t help it but to be very confused about this.

(A/N: Once again I’m sorry for the ending not being gender neutral because of the ‘MC is pregnant’ rumour I decided to add. I thought it would be funny if people believed the MC was pregnant because people kept hearing the name Barnaby Jr. >__>’)

#Harry Potter Hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mobile game #hphm #hogwarts mystery imagine #harry potter imagine #image #mc #jacob's sibling #reader #fem!reader #reader x barnaby lee #barnaby lee #barnaby jr #penny haywood #rowan khanna #bowtruckles #bowtruckle #care of magical creatures #professor Kettleburn

[12345revive]

21 jul 9:15pm

glad i have ady to lie in the middle of roads together... also amnda and xq even if i have my guard up a bit. that day when i was with sam lying under the too-orchestrated-to-be-pretty fairy lights strung tree and she was like "idw my hair to get dirty" yo that shit pissed me off so bad!!! got sad a while back that climbing trees was never a part of my childhood... this 1 childhood of this One conscious lifetime??? and i never climbed a fucking tree??? thats on living in a boring grey institution of a city fuck the skyscrapers and plebby festive decor and fake rug spreads of grass. the girls are too busy being pretty or having good grades and i barely know a guy. i dont remember much of my childhood anyway. i wish i did im glad i have a sister to keepsake some of those memories and she brings little things up... like crying over my grandma throwing away my horrendous blue crocs... losing my hoodie in the aeroplane and being devastated bc i sprayed one direction perfume on it from the mall that back then was an unaffordable luxury good!!! nowadays i spend 50 bucks on a twenty page art book abit casually and you know what i think its for the better. being financially independent is 1 thing but my relationship with money is very strange and on 1 hand its being detached from the lived experiences of my parents (esp my mum) as working->middle class immigrants experiencing a massive jump in social mobility... like it hurts my heart bc my mum still has so much guilt hesitance and resistance to Indulging. and i think part of me is trying to shift from that mindset bc you cannot!!! have that mentality where money has a grip on you and you see at it like scarce fucking invincible all-knowing God. like it irks when i get a new material thing (with my money) and my mum looks at it and the first thing she asks for is the price and i think its very unreasonable but you can already see she's calculating everything in her head and shes so bound to that and she immediately sees it as an expenditure rather than a means to Joy. you cant change that mentality. im still struggling with it too... i think i straddle my family values/my own relative poverty/the collective scarcity mindset of this country VS making a substantial easy bucks from doing what i love which i can use entirely for my wants since my needs are covered my parents. so like im definitely in this position of privilege and maybe i need to stfu and be financially literate b4 i can speak on it but also. yeah idw money to have that hold on me. a part of me gets the fuck out of here i feel like nothing is real enough here... i want to be somewhere where theres so little light population you can see a vast span of stars in the sky... not a lid above toggling the brightness but the actual fucking cosmos spilling in. i think i need to get out of here but maybe im trying to replace that with much needed internal change

[tomhollandarling]

This Isn’t You

Request: Anonymous said: ok but like what if a villain is controlling peter and the villain makes him fight (name) who is also his gf and after he regains possession of his own mind and actions he apologizes to her swearing he’d never lay a finger on her and peppering her with kisses!!! pls make this happen?

A/N: This request was such a cute concept! I tried my best to make it realistic with the situation so I made the reader (girlfriend) have powers too. I’m not that familiar with writing action scenes or kiss scenes, but I did try my best and this was a good way to start developing those skills and practice writing it. Sorry its kind of long! I wanted to give enough time to create a reasonable fight. I may write a short drabble or would include of “Laying in Bed with Peter Parker” to make up for it.(also hopefully the perspective switches aren't that confusing) wow im a mess im sorry if you hate it

Word Count: 4561

Warnings: cursing, reader gets harmed

Masterlist

Ever since Vulture had the nerve to mess with alien technology, more and more criminals and thieves alike began to jump on the bandwagon. It was months after Vulture’s capture but some of his weapons were still hiding in the nooks of New York waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. When discovered with the wrong hands, it was only a matter of time before crime rates surged again.

The setting sun marked another day gone as Peter Parker swung from rooftop to rooftop trying to catch rogue convicts. He halted along the blank concrete surface of an apartment complex, finally catching a break. Making his way to the edge and settling down, his back against the stone, he carefully lifted off his mask. The cool breeze of the nearing dusk instantly hit his exposed skin, soothing him as his chest heaved up and down.

It was quite an eventful night of crime. Already, Peter had ceased an attempted assault, robbery, and car theft. But what he didn’t expect was another electric blue explosion coming from his right in the distance; it was all too similar from months previous. The commotion reminded Peter of the ATM robbers and the night of Liz Allan’s party. It had to be the same tech. He pulled out his phone, tapping it a few times before bringing it up to his ear and speaking.

“I got another one. You up for it?” He paused for a few seconds, listening to the response before adding, “I’ll get there first, just track me.”

Peter’s eyes narrowed on the fading glow as he equipped the infamous mask once again and ended the call, swinging off in the direction the explosion spawned from. He stealthily neared the site: one of New York’s many parking garages, and waited out the remaining time in the shadows, just outside the entrance, until his backup arrived.

--

It was a surprise to get a phone call from Spider-man, but everything was a surprise when it came from him nowadays. You’d only recently learned about his true identity: Peter Parker. Being a vigilante yourself, you two had met fighting a band of gangsters one night. He’d saved your life that day. Without his quick thinking, there would’ve been a bullet lodged into your brain.

Deciding to keep your identities secret from each other was a compromise necessary for protection but eventually trust got in between that. It was careless as much as it was reckless but that didn’t stop you two. He knew your name and you knew his. Many of your nights ended with you falling asleep wrapped in his arms, him admiring the way your eyelashes fluttered.

Still, the both of you reasoned to fight crime separately, unless extra help was needed, in order to preserve the working relationship that had developed. Peter didn’t want anyone to use you to get to him and you’d thought the same for him. The two of you would take every other night off, one always going out while the other took a rest day.

Tonight was an exception. Slipping off your couch, you paced back to your room and closed your door as lightly as you could, turning the handle just before it made contact with the frame to avoid the click of the lock. It was only a matter of minutes before you had transformed into your other persona. Similar to Peter’s suit, yours was thin and skintight to achieve quick and fluent movements, only you didn’t have a full face mask and yours wasn’t designed by Tony Stark. Your mask solely covered around your eyes but it still did the job of concealing your identity.

You strapped on your heat protectant gloves and zipped up a hoodie to hide your suit before sneaking out of your apartment. Luckily, your father was working late and your mother didn’t pay much attention. Thanks to a mishap at the wrong place at the wrong time with supernatural energy, science gifted you the ability to manipulate and partially create fire.

“Hey, mom? I’m going over to (friend’s name) to finish up our project.” You lied without waiting for a response.

Traffic was heavy tonight, the city lights blinding, but you managed to get to Peter quicker than expected. He’d given you access to the tracking device located inside his suit for cases like this. Alien tech was tricky to take down so he needed the backup.

It was dark now, the sunset fading as the moon woke up and the first stars appeared. “Hey.” You said simply, squeezing his shoulder. “What’s the plan?”

He turned and embraced you in a quick hug, greeting you. “Hey!” He smiled from under the mask, “I know there’s at least one alien gun, maybe two. Could be dangerous-actually y-yeah. It’s dangerous.” He seemed to be regretting calling you for help.

You smirked, folding your arms across your chest. “I’m always up for a challenge, Spidey. Don’t think I can handle danger?” You faked offence, stepping backwards.

His head tilted side to side in sarcasm. You could only imagine his eye roll. “I just get this vibe. Why would they be shooting their guns like this? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You pulled your mask from inside the sweatshirt pocket, right before you discarded the garment, and smoothed it over your face. “I got you and you got me. Don’t worry about it. We’ve done this before, remember?”

Just then, another explosion set off, emitting blue light once again. Residual waves of power spread from the source, forcing both of you backwards before Peter could respond.

“I know.” He checked his wrist web status.

“Okay, okay.” You said, becoming more serious. “You swing up there but stay hidden. Maybe I distract them and you can web the guns?” You improvised a plan. There wasn’t much time and you wanted to stop this childsplay as soon as possible. “Just don’t do what you did at the ferry again. We don’t need this car garage coming down on us.”

“That was one time! I got this.” Peter looked determined and he pressed a few buttons on his wrist. “Alright. You okay going up there?” He asked, stepping closer towards the building.

“Yeah, I got the stairs.”

--

Maybe it wasn’t the best of plans, but it would have to do. While you were weaving your way between the levels of the garage, Peter used the time to scope out the scene. He positioned himself on the outside of the building but in a place so he could see the level where the weapons were being fired. There were two men messing around with a few different guns, firing them at the walls of the garage, oblivious to the scene they were causing. To his surprise, they weren’t hurting anyone or holding someone hostage. Something’s off. Over the few months that Peter had experience with alien tech, the users usually had a motive. The gadgets were expensive and in most cases the risks outweighed the benefits.

“He here yet?” Another man appeared from the shadows. Peter instantly recognized him. This was one of Vulture’s original workers, one that got away months ago. Was he still selling weapons?

“I dunno boss. It’s only been like, ten minutes. Besides, these guns are sick. New designs?” The man looked to be in his late 20’s and didn’t seem to be too bright as he was handling the gun without care.

“These things are freaky, man.” The other commented, shooting a beam through a Ford truck, blasting a hole through the front door. It sizzled and sparked as smoke started pluming from the impact. The two chuckled giddily like they were getting away with something.

“Do you remember the plan?” He said with authority, ignoring the question. “We didn’t come here to have target practice, Marcel, Austin. Act like you care.” He spat.

Marcel, the man who had just shot the truck, spoke in defense, taking a few exaggerated steps closer towards him. “You think I don’t remember the plan? You think I don’t realize what shit I’m in? Why else would I agree to help your ass and risk mine?”

“Why? Why.” He repeated in disbelief, “That bug of a teenager ruined my life. Our lives. I had to sell all my shit in order to keep designing these weapons” He pulled out a smaller gun from his hoodie, waving it rudely in their faces. Were they talking about me? I’m not a bug dude!

Austin, the other man, mockingly nodded, “What’s in it for us?”

“Yeah. All you do is use us for your petty revenge plans. Remember Logan?” Marcel was referring to a previous job, Peter assumed. Probably one that went south.

“8 years! 8 years without a word from the feds or the Avengers and then that makeshift hero showed up and...well, you saw what happened to Vulture! It took some time but now I know how to ruin him.” He paced around angrily. Yep, they were definitely talking about him. This is a trap. Shit.

Peter quickly tried to find a way to alert you but he couldn’t move without the men noticing. Come on come on come on! There wasn’t anything he could do in time.

“Don’t you two remember how much you had before all this went down a few months ago?”

“We had Logan.” Austin hissed back.

--

It wasn’t too hard to locate where the commotion originated. Three men were fighting about something—not that you cared—and it was time to bring it to a close. They were on the 6th level and you’d taken the stairs so it took a bit to reach the men.

“Sorry to interrupt this family feud but...those weapons gotta go.” You confidently strode up from the stairwell, folding your arms, and facing the criminals. “You know those are illegal right?”

Marcel aimed his gun at you but their leader held up a hand to prevent him from striking. He grinned, “Now, what is a pretty girl like you doing out on a night like this?”

Your eyes shot daggers as you scoffed. “Oh, you know, just maybe, I’m here to take you fools down for those guns. Just a thought. You can’t shoot things off without someone noticing by the way.”

“Three against one isn’t that great of chances.” Austin spoke as a warning, his hand gripping his weapon.

“No Spider-man with you?”

“I’ll take that bet.” You eyed the smoking Ford in disappointment. “Someone’s gotta pay for that.” You taunted just for the fun of it.

“Shame.” He spoke, “Marcel! Now!”

As if on command, Peter swung in already focused on webbing Marcel’s weapon, while you evaded his blast and hurried over to take on Austin. It only took a second for the men to react; shots fired from the various alien guns filled the parking level as you and Peter dodged most of the attacks. The waves of power bouncing around were jostling but you balanced yourself as best you could.

Conjuring a ball of heat from your palms, you aimed it towards Austin’s hand and the gun which was now pointed at you; the metal from the gadget quickly heated up which forced him to drop the weapon. He grabbed his burned hand in agony, stumbling over his own feet.

“Bitch!” He yelled as you kicked the weapon towards Peter who was currently in the middle of trying to web Marcel. He webbed the contraption down to the concrete, making sure to leave some webbing clear of the barrel; he didn’t need another experience like the ferry.

The combat continued for another few minutes without any progress. Mostly, it was a continual cycle of dodging and shooting. Peter had performed a few flips during the action in attempt to get to a higher advantage point and you were searching for the other man who you assumed was the boss of Marcel and Austin. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen and there weren’t many cars in the lot besides the Ford and a smaller Toyota along with some maintenance vans. Where was he hiding? Did he flee? Austin charged towards you out of anger as he’d recovered from the shock of the burn. It took a while for your powers to warm back up again so you had learned hand-to-hand combat to make up for your disadvantage.

“Flare!” Peter called out your cover name. Peter was now using the destroyed Ford as a shield, periodically shooting webs towards Marcel. To his disadvantage, Marcel switched settings so the gun was acting as a shield. Peter’s webs weren’t helping him in the slightest.

“Yeah?” You called back, kicking behind Austin’s legs, bringing him down to his knees. Austin attempted to hit your face but you diverted his blow.

You finished Austin, successfully knocking him out, and turned to see what Peter needed help with. Rushing over to hide behind the truck where he was, you had another fire blast ready and waiting. He motioned for you to throw it under the vehicle where Marcel’s legs weren’t protected.

“You can’t hide forever!” He tisked, moving closer.

Peter held up three of his covered fingers, counting down. You nodded in a silent response. Once only one of his fingers remained, you rolled under the Ford and used the opportunity to hit Marcel’s knees. Simultaneously, Peter jumped over the truck and webbed the second gun down as well as Marcel. He was caught off guard and upset groans were filling the air.  

“Enough!” The third man reappeared, pointing his gun towards Peter and shooting. The turquoise blast startled the both of you as you were still focused on the previous victory. He was knocked back, his head slamming onto the concrete with a loud thud while the lightning-like lines of energy swarmed around him. Luckily, he was still moving. “This wasn't the plan!” He spat uselessly at his two unconscious men.

A piece inside of you tore open once you’d realized what happened. “Hey!” Immediately, you rushed over to the man, attempting to get a hit in but before you could succeed a web struck your arm, the momentum of the shot causing you to miss.

“What the hell, Spidey!” You yelled in frustration but another shot hit you again. Turning your attention to Peter, you had flames burning inside. He simply ignored your comments, attempting to hit you again.

You dodged his third attempt in shock, sliding to the right just in time. “What did you do to him?” You yelled towards the boss as you realized this wasn’t the Peter Parker you knew. He didn’t respond, only simply stepping out of Spider-man’s way and watching the scene unfold, smirking. “Hey! What did you do!?” You repeated.

Whoever was attacking you wasn’t your Peter, at least not at the moment.

“Just a little invention of mine. Nothing too special.” He finally responded.

The Toyota’s car alarm went off from behind you as Peter shot another web, missing. “Hey! Spider! Stop it, it’s me!” You cried out in desperation. How were you supposed to fight your other half, your partner? You dodged as many attacks as you could but soon Peter had you cornered. His powers and his suit were much stronger than yours as it was designed by Tony Stark. How could you beat that?

No matter the amount of times you called his name, no matter the amount of times you escaped his webs, he still pursued you. You were freaking out, panic was setting in, and you had no idea how to react. You’d lost the cocky confidence you displayed when fighting earlier. Now you were trapped and the only thing left to do was fight back.

“I-I’ll shoot!” You warned, manipulating another fireball, your arms outstretched in front of your face for protection.

He sauntered over, his head tilted to one side as he webbed your wrists to the wall in a split second before you could fire, not that you had the strength to fire at him anyways. You struggled, trying to twist your hands out from the sticky mess but it did no good. The durability of the webs were impressive. Damn it, Stark. You mentally cursed. Peter stopped right in front of you, his masked stare burning holes into your face.

“Stop for a moment, would you, Spider-man?” The boss came back into the picture, wiping down his gun with a cloth as if he couldn’t get any more comfortable. Peter stood still like a dog commanded to sit.

He towered over you with a gleam in his eyes. “I could make this stop you know. I just need some information.” He spoke, choosing his words carefully he added, “Who is Spider-man, really?”

A laugh bubbled over, making you crack a smile, giving you a boost of confidence. “Why don’t you take off his mask for yourself?”

As quick as your words left your mouth, the back of his hand left a burning mark on the side of your face. “I’m no idiot! Stark’s tech isn’t that easy to hijack!” He hissed as harshly as your face stung.

“Well apparently you can tell him what to do, so why don’t you tell him to take it off himself?” You desperately wanted to rub your cheek to soothe the pain. Your arms were starting to go numb from where they were bound above your head.

“Who is he?”

“You really wanna know?” Your voice was cracking, fear was slowly seeping in again, the coolness of the concrete consumed your remaining body heat.

He took a harsh step forward, a hand wrapped around your arm, his fingers digging in. You could already feel the bruises forming. “Yeah. Yeah, I do, Flare.”

“Go fuck yourself.” You whispered softly, voice breaking.

He whipped out a long blade, pointing it at you before handing it to Peter. Your stomach dropped from the fear and sudden realization of what was about to come. Your mind was scurrying to find a way out like a mouse trying to escape from a cat.

Peter played with the knife in his hands, running his gloved finger along the blade. He pressed the cool surface against your cheek but without enough force to break the skin. His mechanical eyes narrowed as his right forearm pressed against your collarbones to push you further into the wall. The pressure was immense. The fact that it was Peter fighting you made it a million times worse. This isn’t you, Peter. Come on! He was like a robot, soulless and unresponsive.

You longed to call out his true name aloud but you couldn’t risk it. You were heating up, beads of sweat were collecting at your hairline.

“Who is he?” He said a second time, enjoying watching you struggle.

You didn’t answer and in return the blade’s tip found its way to your jawline, dragging a thin stream of blood behind its path. You could feel Peter’s hot breath against your skin as he unconsciously followed orders.

Your hands started to burn, it was your body’s way of trying to protect you. Summoning another fireball, your palms started to melt through the webbing, allowing you to break free, knocking the knife out of Peter’s hands on your way down. Fed up, you used your charged hands to shoot a blast at the boss, hitting his right bicep. The flames bursted once they made contact. He laughed in surprise.

“Oh so she does fight back?” He commented, brushing the charred matter off.

“Stop this!” You screamed, trying to conjure enough energy for another hit. It was useless.

Dodging more webs coming from Peter and waiting for your fire to recharge, you managed to land a few blows on the man. He didn’t have any weapons as he’d given his knife to Peter and you assumed the gun was only for his sick and sadistic mind control. You were stronger than him, quicker than him, but with Peter trying to hurt you, it was impossible to take him down.

His gun clattered to the floor once you finally landed another blast, its impact echoing off the walls and pillars of the parking garage. Scrambling to reach it, you dove forward before anyone else could. There has to be some setting on it to undo this. The glowing orb inside of the metal casing was mesmerizing. Pastel lavenders and blues swirled together creating an oval of energy.

Peter charged towards you, forcing you to kick his legs out from under him at the last second. Guilt coursed through your veins.

You turned the gun on the man. “Turn. It. Off.”

“Or what?” He sassed back, unfazed by your threat.

Going on a whim, you forced your heat and energy onto the foreign orb. It was shaking you violently, but it seemed to be breaking down. Small fractures appeared on the surface, spreading quickly.

“I wouldn’t do that if--”

--

Everything was fuzzy. It was like he’d just woken up from a drug induced dream. His vision was hazy, clouded, and his ears were ringing from where he was positioned on the ground.

As if in slow motion, everything came rushing back. His image became crisp, sounds weren’t muted. A chunk of time had been stripped away from Peter’s consciousness. Then he remembered the pain occuring from the back of his head. He lifted his arm hesitantly, barely touching his head. He winced, feeling the tender spot.

The heat being forced onto the gun ultimately caused the device to explode, shattering the pillars of concrete. Dust and particles filled the air, inhibiting Peter’s sight. The building was coming down, car alarms going off, sirens wailing in the distance. Cracks in the foundation were getting deeper and small chunks of concrete were free falling from the levels above. The boy coughed and wheezed trying to gather his wits.

“Y/n.” He called, ignoring the dangers of using your real name.

He shifted his weight to his feet, steadying himself and peered through the rubble that was quickly gathering as each wasted second passed.

“K-Karen.”

“Yes?” The voice in his suit responded. “I’ve detected severe structural damage. Complete failure will occur in two minutes.”

Peter stumbled over his feet, “Find Y/n.” He inhaled sharply, his ribs were definitely bruised but all he cared about was you.

His sight was overridden as Karen used heat sensors and thermal vision to locate your inert body. Peter tried his best to maneuver his way through the concrete jungle. His dizziness was overbearing and as each fraction of time passed by, the building only became more and more unstable.

“Peter?” You rasped.

--

Your head ached and your body screamed for medical attention. Coming to your senses, you realized you were in a bed, Peter’s bed, with various blankets wrapped around you and a damp towel on your forehead to wake you up. You flinched, noticing Peter, and backed away out of temporary fear.

“You-”

He cut you off, “Shh, shh. I know. I know.” His face was pained, blood had dried around his lip and above his eyebrow.

“He-the gun-you.” You struggled form a proper sentence. “I thought you were gonna….”

“It’s my fault.” He interjected. “I should’ve been better. I let my guard down for one second and look what happened.” Peter sighed. He was still in his Spider-man suit, mask off with messy hair and puffy eyes. Had he been crying?

“Peter, it’s not your fault.”

“Then whose is it? Y/n, I hurt you tonight. Not the bad guy! I didn’t have possession of my own damn mind. I could’ve killed you!” He was shaking, his hands unable to stay still.

“But you didn’t. I handled it…” You trailed off, remembering what only happened hours before.

He stood up, pacing around the room nervously now. “Y/n, I cut this close to your neck.” He used his fingers as a reference to show the small amount of distance. “I-I should've been stronger.” He broke. “This is what I was scared of.”

“Peter, it's alright. We just have to learn how to handle alien tech. I think we both jumped into that situation too fast. It was a half-ass plan.” A small laugh escaped your lips.

You motioned for him to come nearer and you embraced him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your eyes pooled into his, capturing his attention. “I feel like a failure.” He admitted. “What if there’s a next time? What if I had used taser-webs? Or-or web grenades? Instant-kill mode? ”

“Hey, hey.” You calmed, “You didn’t. We’re lucky that guy didn’t know too much about your suit. We’ll be better next time. The both of us.” You reassured, enjoying his presence. He snaked his arms around your waist as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. Despite all of the fighting he did tonight he still smelled faintly of laundry detergent and fresh linen. You smiled into his suit.

“You didn’t fight back.” He whispered, tears threatening to leave his eyes.

“How could I?”

“Y-you didn’t fight back, Y/n. That’s what scares me. It-it wasn’t me in there--that man. You have to--I wouldn’t ever hurt you I promise-just…” He was lost for words. “I didn’t know this was possible.”

You left the comfort of his neck, looking back into his eyes. You wiped the blood off of his upper lip with the dampened towel. “Peter, as scared as I was, I knew I could find a way to get you back and I did. Some part of me knew. That gun is gone now.”

“What about the guy? We didn’t even get his name. He-he probably still knows how to make them!” He was panicking.

“Peter, look at me.” You said, gripping his shoulders. “We will heal and we will figure this out, but right now we just need to rest.” You pulled him down into the covers, your back pressed into his shallowly moving chest and stomach.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

“Shhh.” You closed your eyes and let the darkness consume you. Peter’s hands made their way around your waist again to hold you close in an apology. His lips found the soft skin of your neck, his hot breath fluttering from spot to spot creating a swirling sensation within you.

“Peter.” You said breathily, entranced by his motions.

He continued his way along your jawline and cheek, delicately placing more and more. “I’ll never let that happen again for as long as I live.”

Your eyes met for the third time and you begged for more of him. He obliged, leaning in to capture your lips. So much emotion was flooding throughout your body, yet you were unable to move. It was as if time stopped and all that mattered was him. Peter continued to place small and light kisses across your face and neck, both of you giggling and breathing heavy. The warmth of the blankets and Peter’s embrace was enough to fill you completely with bliss. The compassion of his lips melted your resistance to sleep and you were quickly fading.

His fingers danced across your forehead, gently brushing strands of hair away. “Peter?” You slowly whispered, not wanting the moment to end.

“Hm?” He hummed, peppering more kisses along your hairline.

“Thank you for saving me.”

“Always.”

--

Masterlist

#peter parker #peter parker fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker x you #action #marvel #marvel fic #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #spiderman x you #spiderman x reader #reader insert

[skilledineverypostition-blog]

iPhone VS Android I NewsFeedInternational

iPhone vs. Android: Which is better for me? Confused?

Picking between the two primary players in portable relies upon what highlights and specs are most vital to you. This is what you have to know to settle on the correct choice.

Here’s how they match up on some key aspects of the smartphone experience

1) Ease of utilization

Individuals love to state Apple items simply work. It's absolutely evident that the iOS interface is anything but difficult to utilize. Be that as it may, so is the Android interface. To be perfectly honest, in the event that you can utilize one, you won't experience much difficulty utilizing the other.

Of course, 10 years prior, when the iPhone first showed up and Windows Mobile and Nokia Symbian telephones were the opposition, the iPhone overwhelmed them. It was simply such a great amount of simpler to utilize.

2) Fit Price

A few, for example, the Samsung S7 and the Google Pixel, are just as appealing as the iPhone 7 Plus. Valid, by controlling each progression of the assembling procedure, Apple ensures iPhones have an awesome fit and complete, yet so do the huge Android telephone makers. So, some Android telephones are out and out monstrous.

Some portion of the purpose behind this is Apple makes only extravagance telephones. There will never be a "shabby" iPhone. In the event that you would prefer not to pay as much as possible for an iPhone, your exclusive decision is to get a utilized one.

Conventional Android telephones can go for as meager as $100. Is it accurate to say that they are attractive? Not by any stretch of the imagination, yet they carry out the activity at a small amount of the cost of an iPhone. (In case you're thinking about the fact that it is so difficult to jettison the iPhone and move to an Android gadget here's our exchanging guide.) Here our iCloud keychain security code guide 

3) Closed vs. open frameworks

The iPhone stays as exclusive as ever. In the event that you don't need anything that you can't overcome Apple, fine. Then again, in case you're an iPhone client who needs to purchase an Amazon digital book from the Kindle application or watch a Google Play film utilizing Play Movies, you're up the creek without a paddle.

Android is both open source and unmistakably open to elective applications. Remember, Apple hasn't ported any of its applications to Android and never will. Along these lines, if your music library depends on iTunes, at that point you're bolted into iPhones.

For most clients, this is a distinction that has no effect. In any case, on the off chance that you incline toward open frameworks to shut ones, it's a vital differentiator.

4) A.I. what's more, voice aides

With regards to Google Assistant vs. Siri, there's no doubt of the champ: Google Assistant by a long distance.

Google Assistant is in excess of a brilliant voice interface to Google look. In the event that you utilize Google applications, for example, Google Calendar and Google Maps, Google Assistant can make life easier. Let's assume you're meeting somebody for lunch downtown and movement is terrible. Google Assistant will work out that you have to leave right on time to make your arrangement, and it will inform you heretofore. Presently, that is cool.

Siri may have been first to showcase, however it's still quite fundamental. It's fine to answer questions, however it's not so much that quite a bit of a right hand.

In case you're searching for an unmistakable motivation to pick one OS over another, however, Google Assistant isn't it. It's additionally accessible for iPhones.

5) Timely updates

Here, then again, is a territory where Apple beats Android empty. At the point when Apple discharges another refresh or fix, all telephones — those that are as yet upheld, in any case — get it. With Android telephones … it's implore and seek after the best.

Dissimilar to the iPhone, where everything about under Apple's control, with Android, Google supplies the base working framework and a few projects, and it's up to the telephone producer to convey updates and fixes. With top of the line telephones, odds are you'll get the patches; with the various Android cell phones, chances are you'll never at any point see a security fix.

As indicated by Skycure, a portable risk barrier seller, about seventy five percent of Android gadgets are running without-of-date security. For me, the amazement is that the figure is so low. I would have speculated 90% of Android gadgets had outdated programming.

This gets extremely old, in a manner of speaking.

Then again, iOS updates can be flaky. Apple needs to complete a superior employment with quality affirmation. I can't recollect a solitary time that a noteworthy iOS refresh didn't bring about a Wi-Fi issue, beginning with iOS 6 and going up to the most up to date, iOS 11.

My Android refreshes, be that as it may, simply work. When I can get them.

Favorable position: Apple.

6) Security

It's less that Android has security issues; it's that Google is more careless than Apple about what applications it will let into its application store. Genuine, the most ideal approach to keep malware off your Android contraption is to just get applications from the Google Play store; all things considered, Google reports that 0.16% of all applications contain malware.

In case you're an iPhone client, don't get excessively presumptuous. There is iPhone malware out there simply sitting tight for a pompous client to download a dodgy program.

In any case, iPhones are naturally more secure. (In case you're utilizing an Android gadget and believe you're prepared to move to iPhone, here's our Android-to-iPhone exchanging guide.)

7) Peripherals

I don't think about you, yet I have a tendency to interface my telephones to other apparatus. Here, Android has the favorable position. All Android gadgets utilize standard USB ports, so there are numerous contraptions you can associate with your telephone. With iPhones, you require something that will interface with its restrictive Lightning port.

Another Android advantage is that USB links and gadgets are less expensive than their Lightning port cousins.

8) Battery life and charging

This present one's difficult to judge, in light of the fact that each Android telephone is extraordinary. I would say, to a great extent with Samsung and Motorola telephones, Android telephones don't should be as revived as regularly as iPhones. Your charging may change, so we should call this something of a draw, contingent upon the telephone close by and how you utilize it.

9) Cloud combination

iCloud keeps on being a huge torment for me, regardless of what stage I run it on. Also, I'm by all account not the only one who experiences difficulty with iCloud.

Android, in any case, is firmly coordinated with Google's applications and administrations. I utilize Google applications all the ideal opportunity for work and fun. With an Android telephone and Google Now home screen, I likewise gain admittance to all the news I require, from the individual (nearby activity) to the worldwide (President Trump's most recent doings[JE2] ).

Google Photos has the boundless capacity and incorporates a tolerable fundamental photograph editorial manager. Genuine, the iCloud Photo Library is great as well, however getting to iCloud crosswise over gadgets keeps on being hazardous.

All things considered, for cloud combination, Android is the one to beat.

10) Videoconferencing

Google can't decide on its voice, video and IM applications. I think Google Hangouts is currently Google's lord correspondences application, yet I could not be right.

With iPhones, it's Facetime, period. Facetime is an incredible video conferencing program. I wish it kept running on something beyond Apple stages, yet in the event that your entire family or workgroup is utilizing Apple, you're ready.

11) Cameras

I'm no camera master, however I do realize that cameras differ fiercely on Android telephones. All things considered, the Galaxy S8, which utilizes basically an indistinguishable equipment from the S7, seems to be somewhat behind the highest point of-the-line iPhone 7 Plus.

Mind you, the two cameras are, great. As I would like to think, the iPhone is somewhat better at generally things. In any case, the Galaxy models, with their more extensive point focal point, are a touch better at selfies.

Preferred standpoint: The iPhone, in a near tie.

12) Software decision

Some time ago, you could contend that there were better applications on one application store than the other. Nowadays, it's essentially a dead tie. In addition, with 2.8 million applications on the Google Play store and 2.2 million on the Apple App Store, dislike you're regularly going to come up short on applications to play with.

Pick one that fits your financial plan and needs

Set up everything together, and there is certifiably not a straightforward, one-estimate fits-all response for you. As I said at the beginning, both telephone biological communities have their points of interest and burdens.

It truly descends to your financial plan and what makes a difference most to you. For me, the appropriate response is Android, however, I'm not going to battle with you on the off chance that you lean toward an iPhone — dissimilar to a few people I could name.

#iphone #andorid #vs #itech #newsfeedinternational #tech advice

[kainaafandi-blog]

A story of Exchange

Hello my fellow exchange students!! First, let me say thank you to my super American grandmother, yaps Barbara Bancel, the one who has taught me so many things and helped me during my exchange year and after. She told me to write something about my perspective or experiences that might help you guys seeing a world called Exchange Student in different perspective. Well I’m not a good writer or story maker so hopefully my story wont bored you all and I’m not trying to teach you, because I ain’t a teacher, but I learn from the best teacher in the world, experiences!. So enjoy it

Let me introduce myself, I’m from Indonesia, a country thousand miles away from Hawaii, and believe me, I almost traveled all around the world when I went to Hawaii based on the itinerary that American Council gave me. Check it on the map if you don’t believe it (smile). I was a Kennedy Lugar – Youth Exchange and Study alumnus, 2011/2012

So, my first family, The Alapai Family, lived in Maili, Waianae, the west side of Oahu Island. Some people said that is one of the hardest place on Oahu. The Second was the Busher Family, lived in makaha, Waianae. The third one was Nielsen Family, also live in makaha. And the forth one was Bernard family, lived in Hawaii Kai, south side of Oahu.

I went to Waianae High school, the Home of Seariders, and from this school I learned much how different we were. Well in this school, I joined with some school clubs like Air rifle, the garden club and etc. Oh I forget the last family was Orme Family, they live in Hillsboro, Oregon.

Being an exchange student is not as easy as you thought. Everything can happen, sometimes beyond your expectation. You must have faith in your life, you have to be brave, and you have to be yourself. I still remember the days when I was there, Barbara told me ‘Remember–Be self-reliant and take care of your own needs….This is a mark of an Adult, not a kid.’ Being an exchange student, makes me believe that I can do what I can do, it opened my mind, every people has courage to be a leader, they just don’t know how to do it. I learned how to deal with people who have different culture, language, attitude, etc. I learned to control myself for not stereotyping, I learned how to be an open-minded person and learned to solve every problem that comes to me.

What will you do if a person full of tattoo in his hand come closer to you while you are sitting alone in school bench? Well you might run as fast as you can but I believe it will make that guy feel bad, or you wait and see since you are in school! So I grew up a year in a place that people said tough place. So what I did at that time was, I sat, and he came to me, and you know what, he asked my name and he knew that I’m an exchange student, but he confused when he heard that I’m from Indonesia (he knew it when I introduced myself in front of the class) so he asked me about my Country. Can you imagine what if I run away, and I lost a chance to tell people about my country?? Which I believe it was one of my goal during my exchange year, to tell the world about my country!

So, day by day I learned how to control myself for not being a coward. I learned new thing, don’t judge a book by its cover! Indeed, it’s true. Every night before I slept, I always did the reflection thing, I rethink for what have I learned, what I just got today. Well maybe some of us, before going to sleep, will be crying because of homesick, missing daddy and mommy, family in home country, friends, well I must admit sometimes I did that too. It’s okay, you can cry as much as you can, but I suggest you, please do not waste your energy for that too much. You cannot buy a year during your exchange year with money, you just can’t! It is not just a life in a year, it is about experiences. It’s about making the new you, combine with the old you!

When I was in there, the New Year was one of the hardest part for me, because the first time in my life didn’t celebrate New Year with my real family. But, it made me stronger. Believe me, after 5 years, never once in my life I cried because I must be away from my friend or people who are important for me, not because I lost my empathy, but I realized, sadness won’t make them back, sadness just make you feel weak, you just need to be strong to face it, and believe me being away thousand miles in a year has taught you how to do it. Oh believe me, one of my best friend passed away when I was in Hawaii.  Not just being stronger, my exchange year also taught me how to be a good person in a group or being a good leader. I have to admit that I gained a lot in public speaking skill, skill that you won’t get in class if you just sit and listen. Barbara said to me “ If you come here just to sit, read books, you better go home, you can get it at home, so go outside.  Well at the first, I didn’t really get what she meant for that, but then I realize she was right, I wasted a year of my life, just for sitting at home playing computer? C’mon, I can do it later, so then I do those volunteering work. And again, I’ve gained new skill, Social interaction. Yes, this is what we need nowadays. Some people,  know how to solve problem, but they don’t know how to explain it to common people. You know why? Because they don’t have public speaking skill and bad in socialization with others. So this is your chance to gain your skill in public, giving some speech, giving presentation, interact with new people you don’t know, knowing each other, caring each other, helping each other sincerely.  You know what the most important thing that I’ve gained? Being flexible. Yes it’s true. I lived with 4 different types of host family. They are different in many ways. They treated me different from each other. If you ask me which one is the best, I would say, all of them are the best in different thing. If now you are complaining your host family because they never buy you food, or ask you to go to a movie, or playing outside, or ask you just to stay at home, or yelling at you, well believe me I’ve been there. I’ve been in many situation where my host family not really a wealthy family, or way too rich. And I know the difference. I learned from them and know the different how it feels lived in a family that doesn’t have too much stuffs, or just so so, or the rich one, or just by himself at home. From that thing, I’ve gained something that we called tolerance! Something small but important in our life. Don’t be so selfish to yourself to get what you want, cause not everything you can get as what you want, but you will get something that you need.

So if you think your exchange year is tough, think again, out there, there must be someone who has a life tougher than you think and having problem with their exchange year. So be tough! Learn from around you, talk to each other, and be friendly!

So then you might want to know what is the different after being a exchange student. Maybe I just want to tell you little bit b’cause I want you to feel the difference by yourself. The new you and the old you will fight each other once you come home. You will understand it later after you come home. The important thing is, you will see yourself is not the old you in some ways, but your colleague at home will still see you as the same one. Once again, I remember Barbara told me during the final orientation before leaving Hawaii, she said ‘It will be even more difficult for your family to get used to the New You given all your growth, learning and development over the past year’ and yes it is true. People will see you the same, but they will surprise once they know you better.  . So good luck for that :D.

Let’s jump to the end of this story. 2011-2012 was the most outstanding year I’ve ever had. I met new people, awesome people who taught me so many things about life, about people, about culture, about sadness, happiness. Families with their hospitality, friends with their smile when I came to the class for the first time. Oh yeah, just a side story, I also made an enemy in my school you know, but it a good way. Well she was just jealous to me since I beat her score at school in history of Hawaiian class and algebra2, she told me that she didn’t like me cause she became number 2 in school. Oh well, I didn’t care actually.. :D believe me I just bring a book and one pencil to school, I prefer forget those thing than forget my camera. hahaha.

im not trying to teach you, I m just sharing my experiences, you know experience is the best teacher in the world. Last from me, please be a responsible exchange student, you can be free, but be responsible for what you are doing. Once again, enjoy your life in Hawaii, where ohana means family!

#yes11/12 exchangeyear

[2djdanger]

RAMBLINGS OF AN ANIMATION STUDENT ON THE BOSS BABY AND THE INDUSTRY ITSELF AND WHY I LOVE THE BOSS BABY WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL:

Words cannot describe the love I have for The Boss Baby. I saw an advanced screening of it a few weeks back with the director there & it blew my mind it’s like 3D animation meets 2D along with gorgeous art & so many opposites attract motifs like the baby acting like an adult & the graphic bold bright comic book feel type scenes that also meet this almost soft pastel 1950s/1960s vibe going on. AND THE EMOTION IN EVERYONES FACES AGH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY AS AN ANIMATOR!!! It’s such a fast paced movie & everything happening at once & throughout all this everyone’s showing a variety of different emotions in a few seconds & the writing is amazing like not many animated films these days go back to the roots of traditional animation & just making it for a wide variety of an audience from all walks of life instead of making the same movie over & over again with great animation but a story line that seems rushed & choppy & not thought out but they keep making sequels anyways whether we wanted them or not just because m o n e y. I’m looking at u Disney with almost everything & Illumination with Despicable Me. It’s not to say that I don’t like sequels bc those companies have made some I enjoyed but it makes me disappointed when they could be putting their talents towards something fresh & new & original. This movie was o r i g i n a l in every sense of the word. Go take your kids to see it, yourself, your parents (I took mine & im a fully grown adult as are they & we loved it), your grandparents, your grandparent’s grandparents!!! It’s so great!!! It’s literally what the 3D animation community needed. I’m a traditional/2D animator myself & it seems more of the 2D movies out there recently have been trying to keep it original and don’t even get me started on the amount of work the animators do in not only 2D but 3D as well. But like recently 3D animation seems obsessed with the technology realizing they can make anything look more & more realistic nowadays then say when Pixar created Toy Story & their shorts in the 80s. These big companies keep churning out these movies not putting much thought into it & spending everything to make it look as real as possible. But that’s not the point of animation at all! They’re losing touch with why we animate in the first place!!! As my old storyboarding teacher once told our class on why we animate, we animate because it shouldn’t be possible in the real world. When you make anything animated you should stop & think: why am I making this story animated? Does it really need to be animated? Can I do this in live action? If you can make a story in live action then why are you animating it at all in the first place? It doesn’t need to be animated! Literally animation is just beautiful. You can do anything with it. And more & more especially with the technology in 3D films they’re slipping away from those values & ideas & making things that can be replicated in live action. So to see The Boss Baby really utilize the original concept of animation to tell that beautiful crazy impossible story & to top it off tell it through the bright eyes of an over imaginative child make it all the more better because it gives way to these big brilliant imagination sequences with these bold graphic designs that I’d die for. The editing and the animation in this movie is literally perfection it’s one thing flows into another into another into another & it works ANNND THERES EVEN GOOD COMEDIC TIMING!!! Sometimes movies live action & animated just can’t capture that kind of fast paced back to back tension followed by good comedic timing so to the writing team on The Boss Baby I say bravo to you & to the animators as well because God knows how difficult it is to draw out a normal sequence of actions but to follow the writing & get that vision out there in the open & follow it & draw it out so every detail works that’s just insane. This movie just inspires me so much & it’s relatable. My childhood was like Tim’s where everything was perfect & I was happy until my baby sister came along & we went at it for years. Another thing back to the genius writing in the film is this style where it forces you into Tim’s shoes because when they first introduce Boss Baby & for the first half of the film you’re made to hate him & he acts as the villain of the film until about halfway through Boss Baby really comes out of his 1 dimensional evil villain shell & just sees Tim in distress & reveals why it’s not only bad for Tim the current situation but why it’s bad for him too & then proceeds to give Boss Baby this insane narrative & beautifully tragic multidimensional backstory. Tim as the first main character has already been developed as a multidimensional character with different feelings & emotional expressions because he doesn’t know much about the world except for his imagination since he is a kid but by showing this then completely flipping everything on it’s head & giving Boss Baby real flaws & strengths that balance out Tim’s strengths & weaknesses it makes them seem a lot more like real relatable people & more so like siblings who depend on each other. As an older sister I can say some of my weaknesses end up being my sisters strengths & vice versa. Then by the end of the film,Boss Baby is this character you can't help but love & root for hoping he wins & can get out of the bad situations like when his formula was stolen so he kept going baby again it's like you feel panicked because you don't want Boss Baby to be normal you want him to be his crazy quirky self. Also this whole tragic narrative really hit me like it just stuck with me because I’m a sucker for these kinds of dark/sad stories layered in a brighter happier story & they coexist in harmony like that’s when you know a film’s really working. So SPOILERS AHEAD even though if you got this far there have already been some light spoilers I couldn’t avoid talking about but these get right into the grit of it. So the idea that Boss Baby was never really born fascinates me. In this world in the movie it makes sense. It’s also really sad as Tim points out as we’re finding out more about Boss Baby that he never had a childhood & how Boss Baby even says himself he was “born” or more so created (in both the universe of the movie & if he was self aware ((which he isn’t but for the sake of explaining this just humor the thought if he was)) that he was created as a character to work in this movie world realm plane of existence whatever you want to call it) all grown up as an adult in a baby’s body. Just think about that for a minute. What if you were born an adult & never went through childhood, never had a family, no one ever loved you or played with you or anything, all you knew was co-workers & business stuff. You never had fun or imagined things. That’s a really sad life if you ask me personally. He never had a chance to be creative or find himself all he knew was what the cold adult business school taught him from day 1. Most adults these days forgot what it was like to be a child & have fun & I think that’s what they were trying to get at with this backstory especially when Tim’s on the plane to Vegas with Boss Baby & just trying to teach him in small little ways how to use his imagination & just be a kid & not be so serious & black & white all the time. Also, I feel like that’s the issue sometimes with my own parents. As an animator I see animated movies as just another way of telling a story whereas people like my parents who don’t understand much from my line of work see it as a children’s media with no substance & pretty pictures. I want to break that barrier because the first animated pieces were NOT made for kids they were for other adults. I feel like it shouldn’t matter anyways if the movie’s marketed for kids because it could always be a good movie regardless of that & people like my parents forget what it’s like to have fun & see a good kids movie. They were kids once, we all were. As with many animated films before it, The Boss Baby brings subtle tasteful adult humor to the film as well as some just downright outrageous adult humor like Boss Baby running around butt naked with a censor bar over his nether regions. When you can marry adult & child humor together in a movie & make it work nicely it’s always a sign of a good movie. So tonight’s the opening night of The Boss Baby in cinemas everywhere & because I have so much love for this movie after seeing the advanced screening & listening to the director, producer, & designer from the movie speak about it & their own experiences they put into this film, like I stated before I dragged my parents out of the house on a Friday night when they would normally be in bed sleeping really early & shared the joy & beauty of the animated feature film with them. Normally my dad’s the one who will give almost any film a try & watch it & really like it. My mom however is extremely picky & if it doesn’t please her in the first 10 minutes or less she will zone out & fall asleep taking a nap through over half the movie. Both of my parents were on the edge of their seats tonight paying the utmost attention to the movie. It was a really beautiful moment to see my parents actually giving this animated movie a shot & they both ended up loving it as much I did on my second go seeing it. I’m not gonna lie I saw the trailers for this movie late last year & it caught my interest but I had this nagging thought that it wasn’t going to be a fresh new story it would just be typical & only made to make some money & keep Dreamworks in the game another year. I was happily proven wrong & this movie just takes everything about these money making no story movies & flips it on its head entirely. I even bought the art book for The Boss Baby because the artwork alone is enough to inspire me while working on my own projects. And that my friends is why you need to see The Boss Baby

TL;DR: The Boss Baby is an A+ gorgeously animated film with a breath of fresh air new story told in a way that’s really interesting & new & takes you back to the old days of 2D animation classics despite being a 3D film so disregard Rotten Tomato’s obviously wrong ratings & go see it for yourself because as an animator this movie makes me happy & I want to live in it forever ❤️❤️❤️

#the boss baby #the boss baby spoilers #animation #3d animation #2d animation #classic animation #animation student #movie review #new movie 2017 #give all your money to the boss baby bc the good people at dreamworks who worked on this film deserve it all #dreamworks #dreamworks skg)