#(another reason why i haven't posted as much as of late)

[meimi-haneoka]

Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

Hello and welcome back to my "Clear Card Trivia" series, a collection of informative posts where I delve into certain aspects of the story of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! ✨

The topic I will talk about today has been on my "to-do list" for long time. It's something I felt the need to talk about, and I won't hide the reason why: the desire to fully eviscerate this topic grew particularly after reading around certain criticism of Clear Card Arc. But also after listening to CLAMP's Twitter Spaces, particularly the ones towards the end of the story.

It's something that, setting aside my obvious love for the new characters, will always make me think that Clear Card Arc has been a very welcome addition to the series.

This post will delve into Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card Arc.

Sakura grew up considerably during the story, and had a character development that sadly not many people truly realized.

I'm not talking about an evolution of the character design which, despite changing and evolving throughout the story (as it's expected for a long-running serialization), kept depicting Sakura consistently with quite young looks...no, I'm talking about her mental growth, in relation to her self-knowledge and her relationship with her magic powers.

A journey that might almost feel "frustrating", because it is full of "up and downs", and Sakura sometimes seems to be taking one step forward and two back. Aside from the obvious practical reasons (the plot had to develop several other storylines simultaneously), it very much reflects the realistic growth of a pre-teen, which is never a straight line but is made of improvements and relapses.

Along the journey, I couldn't really avoid mentioning some bits of the development of Sakura's relationship with Syaoran, which will get its own deep and detailed post another day.

There's also an extra about the significance of the Clear Cards in the story, at the end.

I have to be honest, the post is very long, but I tried to insert visual elements to make it easier on the eye. If you're curious to know how the hell I found so much to talk about for this specific topic, follow me under the cut and dive into Sakura's journey throughout Clear Card (it's also a good way to review the story)! ✨

A Disconnected Beginning

Clear Card Arc starts in a very "festive" and happy way: everything is peaceful, a new exciting chapter of Sakura's educational life is starting with the beginning of middle school, Syaoran is back to Tomoeda, this time to stay forever with his beloved girl...everything seems so perfect. And precisely in chapter 1, before everything takes an unexpected turn, we have this scene here, which I consider the "true" beginning of everything:

Sakura says "I haven't been using this lately...well, that's for the better".

At the beginning of Clear Card Arc, Sakura seems to be feeling disconnected from her natural gift.

Despite she had to go on a quest to collect all the Clow Cards, which later she gave a new life to by changing them into Sakura Cards, we have to remember that Sakura was born with magic powers. They weren't bestowed on her by Kero-chan, nor by the contract with the Clow Book: she always had magic in her blood, and it apparently "woke up" on that fateful day she found the Clow Book in the library of her father.

At the beginning of this arc, Sakura seems to think that the purpose, the meaning of this natural gift which is literally part of herself, has been fulfilled by transforming all the Cards, and splitting Eriol's power as he had requested. Her words here seem to be suggesting a general idea of "if I have to use this key (therefore, my magic powers), it means something troublesome is happening, so it's better if I'm not using it because it means everything is okay".

And although we can't really deny that what happened afterwards is far from being able to be considered "peaceful", this scene here always left a bad taste in my mouth because there's almost a negative vibe attached to the idea of her magic, transpiring from Sakura's words. It's almost as if she's politely rejecting it.

Precisely after she places her Star Key in her jewelry box, probably hoping to never have to use it again, she has her first premonitory dream of the events that will shake her life afterwards. Almost as if her powers were trying to tell her "no my dear, this is you and you'd better come to terms with it as soon as possible".

Then, as we all know, the Cards turn blank. Sakura produces a new key while having another dream and a quest to fight and "secure" some strange phenomena happening around her begins, leaving her in a state of increasing confusion.

This is the beginning of the part of the story that I quite literally call "Sakura loses sight of herself".

At this very early stage of the story, she still doesn't know that she started losing control over her increasing magical power, and it is definitely not a coincidence that all of this began when she thought of shutting her main magic tool away in a box, hoping to ignore it forever. For plot reasons, this also happens simultaneously to Syaoran taking the spirits of the Sakura Cards away from her (because in the beginning, you had to be tricked into thinking he was up to something shady and was the real mastermind behind all the incidents).

Syaoran expected for Sakura to lose control over her powers, as his mother predicted a general period of trouble for her that could lead her to unhappiness, albeit without any clear indication of what could happen: Syaoran came to Japan knowing something was bound to happen to his girl and her powers, and that something was going to lead her to grief, but he had no idea about all the rest. So his uncertain and reckless approach, which ended up in some cases worsening the situation, is also somewhat understandable. He was acting like a worried, overprotective boyfriend at his wit's end.

The strange events, which Sakura materializes into a new set of Cards, surely leave her distraught and confused, not to mention the situation with the Sakura Cards and Eriol's missing replies, but I feel that what really destabilizes her core are the constant dreams she gets, sometimes even in the middle of her waking hours, making her faint on the spot wherever she is.

Premonitory dreams are a part of her natural gift that she began to express ever since the OG manga, but she never seemed to really understand them or take them seriously.

This time around, she keeps seeing this cloaked figure and this terrifying dragon, no one speaks a word despite her relentless questions and the cloaked figure seems to be wanting to take her newly made key away (Lilie!!! what were you trying to do!! *facepalm* she probably tried to pull her closer so she could talk to her), so it's just normal that all of that leaves her increasingly stressed and anxious, even though initially you never see her openly and verbally stating that, due to her overall positive nature ("I'll manage it, somehow" is part of her "everything will be alright" invincible spell, and this is indeed what she keeps telling herself in the beginning of the arc, even though in some occasions it turned out to be a double-edged sword, as sometimes it looked more like sweeping her fears under the carpet, to me).

"Something Is Not Right"

Dream after dream, Card after Card, Sakura begins to have these general feelings of discomfort and of "something is not right, here", as she openly states to Syaoran in this scene of volume 4, chapter 14. There's something about this situation that is pricking her sixth sense, and makes her uneasy, but she can't quite put her finger on it yet. All she can do is to keep "fighting" these phenomena happening around her, hoping to find out more along the way. She reiterates the same feeling of uneasiness at the end of chapter 15, after what I consider one of the most concerning side-effects of her poor control over her powers: Sakura seems almost "in trance" while she leads her guardians to the exit of the maze, and acts in a very uncharacteristic, cold way by shoving her bag in front of Yue to make him hold it for her. It's almost as if her magical sixth sense worked too strongly and warped her personality in that moment: an effect that has been mentioned several times in relation to powerful magicians like Clow, Eriol and later Kaito too, so it's not farfetched at all to attribute this one-off occurrence to her loss of control over her strong powers, which ended up affecting her personality too. Luckily, it didn't happen again in the rest of the story and the capture of this Card was completely changed in the anime (a wise decision imho, since the JP fandom is particularly fussy about the integrity of Sakura's character, and she needed to stay "Sakura" in order to do what she did at the end).

At the culmination of a "mini arc" (the visit to great-grandpa Masaki) characterized by uncontrolled visions of Nadeshiko, another frightening dream (one that ended up dragging even Akiho in, due to the synchronization) and Sakura for the first time ever confronting Syaoran about the things he's been hiding from her, we reach the following scene of volume 5, chapter 23.

"I Wish I Had A Mirror"

I always considered this scene extremely important, because for the first time Sakura spells out clearly the inner turmoil that's been gnawing at her soul ever since this ordeal with the new Cards started.

"The truth is...I'm the worst at understanding myself. And that is probably causing lots of concern to everyone." "I wish I had a mirror. A mirror that could reflect the real me. Then, I would probably understand how to not make everyone worry"

Here, Sakura clearly spells out the frustration of knowing, feeling in her bones that there's something wrong with her, something that she's not understanding about herself, and that something is causing problems, but most importantly, is causing her loved ones to worry about her. Let's not forget that not only Syaoran, but also Yukito, Touya, Fujitaka, Tomoyo, Eriol & his family have all been watching her situation in apprehension, each of them making decisions and moving discretely in a direction they felt was right (and admittedly, not all instances were so).

Sakura can somehow feel all of that, she can feel that it's related to something she still hasn't realized about herself. This tends to be forgotten because it happens in a relatively early part of the plot, but notice how this is the same problem Kaito suffers from. A quite stunted ability to understand oneself. Sakura and Kaito definitely have lots in common, when it comes to this specific part of themselves. Keep this in mind, because it'll be relevant later.

And then, the situation worsens.

Sakura's dreams start to terrify her, because they begin to show Syaoran's face under the cloak of the mysterious figure who's scaring her in her dreams. An apparent truth she cannot accept, she won't accept, even though she's still unsure about what exactly these dreams she's having are. Despite her boyfriend has been acting shady for long time, she decides to trust him and wait for him to talk to her about all the stuff he's holding inside, instead of putting him through the wringer. This also means, though, that Sakura will keep all her fears to herself, eventually bottling up.

Furthermore, Kaito starts to rewind time to fix a situation without a way out (in chapter 28, Akiho was on the verge of going berserk completely and unleash the artifact), creating an additional sense of confusion when Sakura can feel that her finger is numb due to strain, but she can't understand why (she had fought Kaito's time magic unconsciously). Whenever Kaito will rewind time, even later on, Sakura's magical sixth sense will try to wake her consciousness up more and more, giving her these vibes of "deja vu" or making her act in an apparently inexplicable way.

In the first part of Clear Card, Sakura sometimes literally looks like a soul wandering about in confusion, dragged by the events.

I wish to point out that this is not a flaw in the characterization, it is a precise design by CLAMP. Sakura IS, in this part of the story, confused and lost, overwhelmed by the events. She has no idea how to approach this matter other than "treating the symptoms" as they come. This happens because she's still, surprisingly, quite reluctant to embrace a fundamental part of herself: her innate magic power, which expresses itself mainly through her intuition. But we'll gradually get there.

Around chapter 30, before the big realization, Sakura's situation reached a point where:

- her Sakura Cards unexpectedly became blank; - almost everyday (sometimes multiple times a day) there's a new incident that she secures into new transparent Cards; - she constantly sees ominous dreams (in scattered order) with a cloaked figure acting in a questionable way and a scary dragon, and at some point she starts seeing her boyfriend under that cloak; - her boyfriend acts shady, Eriol doesn't reply to her messages; - there's a general feeling of "something is not right" with her magic and some stuff starts to not make sense to her (because Kaito rewinds time)

It is at this point that Sakura finally moves one (giant) step forward and connects all the "puzzle pieces" she collected (particularly, how much more "obvious" the creation of a Card became) and understands that she's been the one causing subconsciously each and every single incident that lead to the creation of a new transparent Card.

"I'm Angry At Myself"

And with Syaoran finally coming clean with her (because at that point he had no reason to keep things hidden anymore, as the thing he was trying to delay ultimately happened - and believe me, I'm sure he partly felt relieved to not need to lie anymore, as that took quite a toll on him too), Sakura can at last give an explanation to at least a part of the things that are happening. And she finally realizes that the doubt that was tormenting her was true: she DID, in fact, not understand something very important about herself, she didn't realize that it was her own power going out of control and that all the incidents that happened bore "her magic signature", so to speak. She failed to "tune in" with her magic.

For the first time ever, Sakura expresses anger at herself.

She will direct that anger (to a lesser extent) to Syaoran too, but I'll tackle that in a separate post.

This is a moment of deep reflection and regrets for Sakura: the poor understanding of herself, the poor "communication" between her heart and her magic powers brought to a situation where her most beloved person was putting himself in danger in order to protect her, while trying to not make things escalate. This is a very sensitive, beautiful and important moment, steeped in conflicting and complex feelings (and remember, Sakura is just a pre-teen. It is normal for a pre-teen like her to not understand herself, but there's just one tiny detail: she's not a common pre-teen, due to her natural gift, and she needs to take that into account). Eventually Sakura calms down, and after creating Rewind, her resolute face while hugging tightly Syaoran suggests that from now on she'll face this matter from another, more courageous and determined perspective.

Or at least, these were her good intentions. Because unfortunately, insecurities are hard to eradicate and in the central part of the story it's shocking to realize how far longer Sakura will insist in shutting away her emotions and refusing to listen to her heart (and intuition) fully.

"It's Just My Imagination"

Part of Sakura's anxiety might have been sedated with the revelation that the Clear Cards are produced by the girl herself, but unfortunately the true core of her problems was not solved at all and will only surface more clearly in the next 20 chapters.

Sakura actively starts having "premonitory bad feelings" when she sees Akiho in volume 7 chapter 34, a bad feeling that she does check with Syaoran, but quickly dismisses as "well, it's just my imagination". This will basically be one of the major problems preventing her from reaching the complete control of her magic. Sakura, knowing her magic potential, should've given way more credit to her sixth sense, but her anxiety, her insecurity and her crippled connection to her innate gift still pushes her to dismiss these "signs" as nothing really important or true. Timely as hell, a few hours later something bad will indeed happen to Akiho, where she completely loses consciousness for the first time and the clan/Association actively starts to absorb Sakura's power through the artifact implanted in Akiho. All of this was caused by the high concentration of magic that "triggered" Akiho's artifact (and here I have to sarcastically "applaud" Kaito, just like Syaoran he's another one who does stuff before thinking through, ultimately worsening the problem).

Once trapped in Akiho's artifact, thanks to her power Sakura can see the most horrifying glimpse of Akiho's past, when she was turned into a magic artifact, by living it on her own skin. And even though Kaito is forced to rewind time once again to save the situation, erasing these memories from Sakura's head, her heart (which is tightly connected to her magical sixth sense - I'd daresay her heart is straight up the source of her magic) DOES REMEMBER, pushing Sakura to act in an apparently irrational way, crying and hugging Akiho tight in empathy. Sakura is particularly shaken by this feeling, still in pain even hours later, but once again she doesn't understand where it comes from. However, she does express with Syaoran an intention to talk to him about it once she's able to put it into words, and in the meantime do her best with all the rest. At least, there's an intention to understand better this part of herself, but it's still soon to see actual results.

Aaand CLAMP really seem to be wanting to test Sakura in this arc, because at this point of the plot, they add the electrocution spell. 😅 No one seems to understand who caused it (it's not Sakura, nor Kaito, but now we know it was none other than Yelan!!) and Sakura's anxiety increases once again. The fact only Syaoran gets affected by it inevitably reignites the doubts in her mind, unwittingly reminded of that terrifying dream of Cloaked Syaoran she keeps seeing...but she stubbornly keeps telling herself "no, it's not like that, it's just a dream". It's undeniable that this situation where she cannot understand her foretelling dreams yet, and the way they show her scattered hints because her power is out of control, has surely contributed to Sakura's insecurity when it comes to trust her own intuition.

Her power is so out of control at this point, that even when Kaito shrinks her and throws her in a hole carved into a tree (landing in a "world" created with magic where he hopes she'll create the right Card) her dreams take over again (it's apparent by the "shaaan" sound and how everything turns suddenly pitch black, a common background of her dreams), showing her Akiho in the dress she was wearing when she was turned into an artifact and, inevitably, Sakura's biggest fear, "Cloaked Syaoran". Pay attention because these visions she's getting here thanks to her power match what will happen later on: what the talking flowers tell her here will turn out to be the beginning of the lyrics of the main theme of the "Alice in Clockland" play. This vision of Cloaked Syaoran seemingly "about to do something" to Akiho horrifies Sakura to the point of screaming in terror and creating one of the most unsettling Cards, "Break". It is after this very scary moment that Sakura starts to wonder very specifically for what purpose she is creating all these Cards. The purpose is actually more than one, but she definitely posed herself THE RIGHT question, as this brings her one step closer to the core of the problem and eventually embracing her own magic abilities.

Then, between chapters 43 and 45 we finally start to see some changes in Sakura: surprisingly, she begins to listen more to her sixth sense, first catching Yukito red-handed while activating a newly acquired magic, and then wondering about a strange painful feeling in her chest when her father tells her that lately she and Akiho became even more similar. We were all lead to believe that this was the foreshadowing of Akiho taking her place (cause everything in the plot at this point deceivingly hints at Kaito wanting to switch them), but she actually was getting foreshadowings of the "rewritten world", where Sakura would genuinely feel wrecked to know that someone important to Akiho was missing, precisely when Akiho would've become part of her family as her twin. In fact, in chapter 45, before falling completely asleep, she hears again the ominous "you won't be able to come back" (the Association's threat to Kaito), wondering WHO wouldn't be able to come back - somehow, Sakura knows that it's not directed at her.

"Just Tell me Honestly How You Feel"

And then, we reach another moment that I consider pivotal for Sakura's growth during this Clear Card Arc. The moment when she's on the verge of breaking down and finally lets all her feelings out.

Her anxiety over the dream with the Cloaked Figure reached the highest peak, so much that she finally manifests a Card, Mirage, that challenges her precisely with that appearance. While Sakura battles that Card (which at the moment she still believes it's an actual person), she seems resoluted to get to the bottom of this story, and to pull down that hood to know the truth. You can really feel that she's so done with all this psychological torture. The fact the real Syaoran appears right at that moment and she finds out the person she saw was just a Card is partly a relief for her, but also throws Sakura again in despair because who the hell is that person in the dream, then??

Syaoran, as the good and attentive boyfriend he is, can just feel that Sakura is stressing over something, so he brings her to his home to help her calming down. And to her umpteenth attempt at sweeping her negative emotions under the carpet, beating around the bush commenting over the tea with a fake smile, he cuts immediately her bullshit and just tells her : "You don't need to force yourself. Just tell me how you feel right now". When she hears that she's allowed to speak out her emotions with honesty, Sakura wears on her face one of the most heartbreaking expressions of the entire manga. She's literally about to break down in tears of exhaustion, as you can see it above. ☝️ Listening to her, gradually, Syaoran encourages Sakura to get out all that's been torturing her lately, particularly about the dream with the Cloaked Figure. It is a very difficult moment for her, because she has to relive the dream, and expose in front of him all the fears and doubts that were trying to tamper with her trust in him. Courageously, she goes through with it, even though her denial ("it's just a dream!") is so strong that she ends up creating another Card: "Dreaming". Sakura at first seems relieved to see the Card, in the hope that everything she saw was indeed a mere messed up dream and nothing else (see? she's again self-sabotaging her relationship with her magic) but Syaoran with his frankness is quick to bring her feet on the ground: the kanji on the Card show "yumemi", and the word can also indicate a "foretelling dream".

Although Sakura seems disheartened at first, her next dream with the Cloaked Figure is much more relaxed, so much that even the dragon doesn't particularly scare her anymore: our girl's intuition makes her correctly feel a sense of loneliness in this dream, which she attributes to the hooded figure, not realizing that it was more likely coming from the dragon itself (aka, Kaito). After all, in chapter 72, Lilie will confirm that her presence ended up distracting her from the one "character" she should've paid all of her attention to. Her intuition, despite being misattributed, ended up having a positive effect through the synchronization with Akiho: the girl will wake up with the same feeling of discomfort of her friend, and as if guided by hitsuzen, she will head to the garden where she'll find a sickly Kaito staring at the moon - most likely feeling the loneliness Sakura perceived in her dream. I like to think that in this scene of chapter 48, Sakura subconsciously helped Akiho comforting Kaito, by waking her up with the unresting feeling, precisely when Kaito needed it the most. Still not completely embraced her magical sixth sense yet, but a significant improvement.

The road between chapter 48 and chapter 52 is paved with lots of struggles, as the Mirror Sakura Card gets stolen by Kaito, Sakura runs the risk of being absorbed into Akiho's artifact again, she meets Momo for the first time and she's even given a hint about Kaito's plan (or what Momo thought was his plan, as he had benignly lied to her about that), but almost all of that gets rewound and erased when Kaito intervenes. Moreover, despite not remembering anything consciously, Sakura is left with a sense of unhappiness when she looks at her home, a remnant of her brief journey in the world of Momo's book which straight up threw her into despair, showing her what her life would be if everyone forgot about her. She also finds once again a Card produced out of nowhere, "Time": I'm convinced she produced this Card because her conscience was awake while Momo and Kaito talked in stopped time, and their conversation triggered her sixth sense to produce Time as a result. Needless to say, all of this worsens her state of mind once again, which leads to the other pivotal, and finally resolutive, scene of chapter 52.

Never Avert Your Eyes From Your Heart

We finally get to what I consider THE scene, the one that will definitively shake Sakura from her deadlock, from the anxiety that stunted her connection with her innate gift and her deepest emotions. And the one who helps her overcoming all her fears is, of course, the love of her life - with a honorable mention for none other than his mother Yelan!!

Chapter 52 got a very, very special place in my heart, because it's basically one giant parallel between SyaoSaku and YunaAki. The two pairings experience similar situations, but the response from one side of each pairing is quite different. Let's remind you for a moment of the part earlier in this post when I told you that Kaito and Sakura, for most of Clear Card, surprisingly have one thing in common: they don't seem to understand themselves well enough, and both have a tendency to look away from feelings that cause unrest to their hearts - anxiety for Sakura, love for Kaito.

Syaoran, always attentive and observant towards his girlfriend, notices immediately that Sakura is suffering, as soon as he sees her at school. Despite being unable to touch her to comfort her, he offers all of himself to support and listen to her concerns. Sakura is visibly and pleasantly surprised of how the boy could read behind her mask, that usual contrived smile with which she tries to dissimulate her emotions and not make him worry. A bad habit she's consolidated lately, but that Syaoran is gently determined to dismantle. After opening up with him (and this is where Sakura differs from Kaito - by having an established relationship made of love and trust with Syaoran, Sakura lowers her walls with him), she falls once again into the usual trap of "but maybe it's just my imagination" and I love to see how Syaoran is her anchor to the ground, making her see the concreteness of this situation: he straight up tells her "you produced a Card out of it, it cannot be 'just your imagination'. " And then, like a precious family gift, he passes on to her the priceless words of wisdom of his mother Yelan, an advice that not only Sakura, but also the other "lost soul" of the other paralleling pairing should listen to:

"People with magical power should never ignore the turmoil and stirring in their hearts, the so-called 'intuition'. And it’s not limited to people with magical powers. People should never avert their eyes from the changes in their heart."

This is a turning point for Sakura. These words seem to positively "break" something inside of her, showing her the correct path to follow. CLAMP beautifully portray this process of "embracing and assimilating" the words she's just heard, by making her place her hand over her heart. I love when they do that (they used the same visual when Akiho heard Kaito's true name, and 'wrote it' on the most important page of the book of her life). Sakura is truly grateful for the words Syaoran relayed to her, precisely what she needed to get out of her impasse with her feelings and magic. She knows she can always count on the support of her soulmate even in the darkest moments, and she's thankful for having him in her life.

From this moment onwards, Sakura will experience several instances where her magical premonitory senses give her signals through the "stirring" of her heart. Contrarily to before, she starts to actively take them seriously, listening, without dismissing them as the delirium of an anxious little girl. This allows her to activate the Siege Card in the fraction of a second, successfully shielding herself from Kaito's time magic, making her the first person ever who achieved that. This also leads her to effectively remember that she saw Kaito using magic, even when time was rewound by him, and contact immediately Syaoran to talk about it, planning how to move from that moment onwards. A little relapse on her bad habit is immediately dispelled by Syaoran, and our girl even goes as far as saying "there's something inside Akiho", even though she's not sure exactly why she's feeling that way. But it's an intuition she's having and she decides to not dismiss it anymore, with everyone trusting and supporting her in that direction. By listening more and better to what her heart tells her, Sakura also decides to not confront Akiho about Kaito and his magic, because she's well aware of the feelings Akiho got for Kaito and she doesn't want to potentially disrupt their relationship. So, she decides to wait for her friend to talk about it first.

Thanks to this better understanding of her own intuition, she also says in chapter 57 that she wants to meet the guardian of the book "Alice in Clockland" once more, despite not remembering if and when she's met her before. This also ultimately leads her to accept the role of Alice in the upcoming play scripted by her friend Naoko, because her sixth sense tells her that it's inevitable for her to do so. It's important to emphasize how the other characters support and encourage her to listen to her innate gift, at this point, without trampling over her self-determination like they did before.

It is a moment of big growth and character development for everyone.

The Ultimate Growth: Finding a Meaning and a Purpose

What happens afterwards is history: the fateful "Alice in Clockland" play unfolds, and Kaito completes his plan to push Sakura to create the Card he needs, exchanging his magic artifact (the watch) with Akiho's one (the book), in addition to activating the forbidden magic to rewrite the memories of everyone, to fit Akiho as part of Sakura's family.

Sakura's intuition will be crucial to wake her true self up while in Clockland, succeeding in beating Kaito's magic multiple times, till Syaoran comes in and gives the "final blow", cutting off the spell definitively.

And even when everything seems lost because Kaito successfully activated the fobidden magic, changing their memories and erasing himself from their existence, Sakura's magic and sixth sense keep making her say things she either already said or heard before in the "unrewritten world". Not only that, but even after meeting Lilie in a dream and forgetting her face (due to the strong influence of the forbidden spell), bit and pieces of that conversation keep coming back to her, and she listens dutifully to every single one of these "feelings". Kaito might have overridden part of their memories (only the ones concerning him, Akiho and the events connected to the creation of the Cards), but the experience, feelings and personal growth of each character were left untouched, that's why the chemistry between Sakura and Syaoran is the same as before the play started, but also Sakura's personal relationship with her magic is far better than before (an information that might have seemed random and unimportant is that now Sakura summons Mirror even just to chat, an indication of her completely changed perspective on her magic).

Now that Sakura finally embraced her magical power, all that's left for her is to find a true purpose for it.

A question echoes in my mind, "What am I creating these Cards for?". Sakura poses herself this question halfway through the story, and she finds the answer to it precisely at the end of the journey.

Her powerful magic intuition, combined with her immense empathy, leads her to realize that somebody is missing from their reality, and that person is the one Akiho loves. At this point Sakura is unstoppable: she wants to listen to the voice in her heart that's screaming "Go and help them!! Give the true happiness back to Akiho!", and everyone can only follow her lead as she assertively puts into practice what her heart is telling her to do.

Sakura in this final part of the story shines brighter than ever. She's more assertive and self-confident than ever. All of this is because there's something she strongly wants to do with her innate gift, as Eriol unequivocally says in chapter 75: her power grows exponentially again, but this time it's not out of her control - it is Sakura herself who's voluntarily boosting it, thanks to her strong wish. And that allows her to control it and use it exactly as she wants.

In chapter 79 her growth reaches the highest peak, by handling the resolution of Akiho and Kaito's personal problems in an admirable way (she steps aside for a moment to give Akiho all the agency she needed), but also finding herself in front of an uncomfortable dilemma, which leads her to an unavoidable reality: Sakura quickly understands that she cannot be on everyone's side and there are lines to be drawn at some point. She can't be a pure and oblivious girl forever. She needs to grow up. There are choices to be made, especially when dealing with real evil people.

And Sakura choses to go on with the people she loves, even if that means she has to "stain" her "moral record" a little bit.

Empowered by this strong wish to fix the situation, she literally gives life to a miracle, protecting her dear friend and her beloved from the grasp of their abusers, simultanously giving everyone their true memories back. The effort exerts her greatly, but what she achieved is by far the most important thing she's ever done with her magic power till now: she helped two dear people lost in a life-and-death situation. Her magical growth went along with her personal, mental one.

This is also the reason why the accusations of "the other magicians should've trained her" end up being in vain: Sakura's problem with her powers was mainly on a personal level, not on a technical one. This was a journey she had to mainly walk by herself, finding the right balance and confidence in her abilities, deep down in her heart.

No one could've done that for her.

Merely training the practical aspect of it would've just worsened the situation, because Sakura wouldn't have been truly "in it" with her heart and mind. She needed to go through this process of growth, before reaching this stage of self-awareness in relation to her magic powers. I truly feel this is the reason why CLAMP made certain choices inside this story. Again, as I always say, a good part of Cardcaptor Sakura does revolve around magic, but the main focus and linchpin of this story is and always will be the main character's heart, her growth and the interpersonal relationships with her loved ones.

This makes Clear Card Arc, in my opinion, a worthy sequel and a full-fledged part of the Cardcaptor Sakura series. I think those who decide to skip it or read it with a superficial approach miss a journey of tremendous growth for our beloved protagonist.

So much for those who kept saying "This is not Sakura's story".

How can all that ☝️ NOT be Sakura's story?

I'll let you judge. 😊

Extra: The Significance of the Clear Cards

I want to digress for a moment about a thorny topic: the significance of the Clear Cards in this story.

Sakura isn't always completely passive towards the events happening around her, but wonders several times during the story why all those Cards are manifesting like that. While the first and easiest answer is of course "because her powers are going out of control" (and this is something Momo herself questions Sakura about in chapter 50), it becomes apparent at some point that the more the story goes on, the more the Cards that are created by her are particularly relevant and connected to the events that will happen in the final part of the story.

I know this is a sore spot for many who complain about not understanding the purpose of the Clear cards. It's because people tend to compare this set of Cards with the ones Sakura captured previously. That's not the right way to look at them, because their origin and purpose are different and change throughout the story. Forget about the Sakura Cards, even though so many of these "Clear Cards" (which are never called so, not even once, in the story itself, but just "new cards" or "transparent cards") might look so similar in purpose to the previous ones.

First of all, the Clear Cards are an outlet for Sakura to vent in a healthy way her power in excess. Power that if kept inside, untapped and confined in her body, might have unpredictable harmful effects on her (<- probably the grief Yelan foresaw). God bless the Clear Cards for existing and allowing Sakura to vent out these bouts of uncontrolled power in a relatively safe way.

The Cards that Sakura produces in the beginning are sometimes reminiscing of the Sakura Cards, because her power manifests itself basing on Sakura's experiences, feelings, thoughts and wishes. The Sakura Cards are an important part of her life (before Syaoran took them, she literally acted like their "mom", keeping them alive with her power) so it's only normal that the first base for some of these new Cards would be a magic tool that she already knows. In this sense, it becomes easier to understand why many of the "captures" seem so easy, way too easy compared to what a reader would expect from a sequel: the goal of the capture here isn't to make her power and experience in capturing cards grow. She already had 2 arcs to do all of that. The capture of the Cards in this third arc becomes something new and unexpected: a "damage control" of a regrettable situation with Sakura's powers, while she learns to dominate them and enter into harmony with her supernatural abilities. The growth Sakura needs here is mainly a mental one. Performing her magical power aimlessly without having a true connection with it and a true understanding will only exacerbate the problem. This is the reason why, despite having a "capture" element, Clear Card derails from the previous arcs in the purpose of the capture. It's a pity that an element that should've brought freshness to the plot was in many cases received as an actual flaw.

In the beginning, as Sakura's power is completely out of her control, some Cards might look completely random too - they don't look based on Cards, thoughts or wishes (like Appear, Reflect, Action, etc.). But pay attention, because the more the story goes on, the more the Cards begin to become particularly specific to something that shook Sakura's heart in that moment, or referencing events/feelings that will become pivotal to the events Sakura will experience later. Especially regarding Kaito's plan. Many of the later Cards Sakura produces are a direct reflection of the feelings and wishes that Kaito infused in the activation of the forbidden magic, with the creation of "the story for Akiho", the one he wanted to absolutely have a happy ending for. Cards like Repair, Promise, Choice, Kindness, True and False, Synchronization, Rewind....many of them didn't even get to express their magical abilities in a "conventional way" (everyone expected to see Sakura literally activating them like she does with all the others), but it's just because at that point the Cards Sakura is producing are born following her premonitory intuition: thanks to the hints/speeches that those Cards give her in Clockland, Sakura little by little regains consciousness of her true self (it's a pity that many English readers will never realize all the times Sakura was about to "wake up" in Clockland, because the translation didn't respect the change in fonts of the JP text). Sakura wasn't supposed to "use" them in a conventional way (how do you "use" Kindness? You force people to be "kind"? 🤨 and what about Choice??), she was supposed to listen to them and let them guide her towards the truth. This is also the reason why all of these Cards bear the face of her loved ones. Think of them as tarots. Which is, incidentally, another use of the original Clow/Sakura Cards. I am basically sure of this interpretation because the kanji of some of those Cards I mentioned above are brought up during the climax: particularly when Akiho talks to Kaito in chapter 78, she uses two specific verbs, referring to Kindness (慈愛 - a kind of gentle and tender love) when she describes the love and support her family gives her in this rewritten world, and to Choice (選択) when she questions Kaito about his choice to disappear completely from her life. So to summarize, the last Cards Sakura produced "accidentally" weren't accidental at all, but were actually specifically produced by her power in reference to Kaito's plan, to help her finding the way out to a dire situation. This represents a very important indicator in the plot: at that stage of the story, Sakura started to listen more and more to her intuition and her sixth sense, finally quitting her bad habit of downplaying it ("maybe it's just me") but actually giving it credit and taking it seriously, trusting her instinct to lead her in the right direction. And this was, of course, all thanks to the speech Syaoran gave her back in chapter 52. It is also the case of the Rewind Card, which Sakura will ultimately understand the purpose of on her own, at the very end of the series. That's the moment where everything will become clear and make sense to her: "This Card, too...I created it precisely for this moment". The Clear Cards ultimately became the embodiment of her foretelling powers. Which then led to the birth of the first two consciously created Cards, Blank & Remind, which will become so important in the climax.

If we ever get a new arc in the next years, we'll certainly deal with a more mature Sakura, who's more in sync with her magical powers 🩷.

#card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #sakura card captor #clamp #sakura kinomoto #syaosaku #clear card trivia #I hope this post will make you look at Clear Card from another perspective #I'm sorry for the length but I really wanted to make a deep dive

[ladypepperofdavenshire]

Inspired by this, except Taran is completely on board save for their collective lack of funds

#ladypepperofdavenshire #untitled sci fi wip #untitled sci fi story #taran #tau #renata #rho #assassin story #sci fi #sci fi ocs #original characters #this is a week old so tbt i guess #i've been distracted writing smth with them that was supposed to be short #and ended up being 20+ pages #which is why i haven't posted much lately #also seems like a general lack of interest in the assassin duo on here as well lol #another reason i haven't been posting

[blacktabbygames]

Slay the Princess Concept Art

We shared a bunch of concept art on Twitter today. Sharing it here, too, where you can find it all in one post. Post contains spoilers, so proceed with caution (or just play the game already if you haven't 😉)

Going to start with the first piece of concept art Abby drew for the game.

In the earliest stages of development, we toyed around with the concept of there being multiple "end game" forms of the Princess.

The initial outline, rather than being tied together by an overarching metanarrative, structured a full playthrough as a 5-6 chapter long, self-contained journey down a single route, determined by your decisions in chapter 1. Here's an alternative late-game form:

The idea of deviating end-game forms didn't lost for very long, though. As we explored the game's themes more deeply, it made the most sense for there to be a singular "true" form.

If your reality is shaped by subjectivity and perception, then the "truth" has to be what's left when that subjectivity is swept away. the Shifting Mound's final design feels like that initial truth for the Princess, though there's also another truth if you push back against her and press on into the final cabin.

We really liked this "void" design, and I played around with the idea of it being an intermediary to the final form. The "void" Princess would be what you saw upon encountering the final Princess without understanding your own truth, but once you had that understanding, you would see her as the Shifting Mound, as depicted in the game.

That gave way to the intermediary design of the SM being a sea of disembodied limbs, and we also took parts of both designs and incorporated them into the protagonist (particularly the wings.) You can see the eyes and feathers for this void form in the ending card of the original trailer below:

You can see extremely early concept art for the spectre (top), nightmare (top-right), stranger (left), beast (bottom) and ??? (right) as well!

The eyes became a motif in the Nightmare route (Paranoid's manifestation of the fear of being watched), but I also like to think of them as a part of The Long Quiet's truth. You are space and emptiness, but you're also that which observes those things, and it's your perceptions that give the Shifting Mound shape.

Anyways, on the note of the original original concepts for the game, the Princess was initially going to remain human for several loops before taking on more monstrous forms. Some concepts of that are below. Had to get Abby to tone down some of the more horrifically cartoonish designs because they creeped me out and I didn't want to romance them in a video game.

We had to hold our cards close to our chest in the non-metanarrative early drafts, which is part of why, even in the first demo, the cabin doesn't really change much in chapter 2. More room to subtly play with the concept of transformation over time.

There were a lot of reasons we moved in a different direction for the full release. The branching was unmanageably large to write, and the game felt like a slog to write.

Using an overarching narrative as a framing mechanism in the final version gave us a lot more freedom to explore wildly divergent ideas within routes while still driving the player towards the originally planned finale.

Anyways, now we've got some concept art for individual princesses. There's a lot more than this lying around somewhere, but it's all in sketchbooks, and we'll probably wait until we make an art book to show it off.

First is the tower, who really didn't change much at all. (She got a little thicker, I guess. All of the Princesses did)

Not a lot to say about her, other than the fact that we knew we wanted a set piece where she gets so big that the trees and cabin orbit around her.

The stranger went through many many redesigns over the course of development. Here, she was a "princess skin" filled with a hive of sentient bugs. The script wasn't working for me, though, so instead she became a peak behind the curtains without the necessary context to know her.

A lot of people ask how these earlier drafts of the Stranger route would have played out, and the answer is I can't tell you, because I couldn't figure out something worth writing.

The writing process for individual routes didn't really start with outlines or plot beats. Rather, the routes started from a theme and a relationship dynamic, and I organically found their outcomes by exploring actions within those themes, and then seeing if those passed Abby's editor brain.

Neither of us found actions we wanted to explore with those versions of the Stranger, at least actions that weren't a beat-by-beat retelling of chapter 1, which contained way too much variation to put on a single chapter 2 route.

If each princess examines a relationship formed by perception and first impressions, the Stranger examines one that's fundamentally unknowable. One where you've seen too much, too quickly.

An insect hive-mind pretending to be a person seemed like a good starting point, but it was too difficult to write any interactions that didn't immediately feel knowable, if still strange. So the final version of the Stranger was designed in such a way where her unknowability makes interacting with her on a human level fundamentally impossible, and you don't get to have a real conversation with her unless you satisfy extremely specific criteria.

Anyways next up is the razor's final form. We decided she needed more swords.

Hearts became an accidental motif very quickly in the development process, too. (The fact that it is only strikes to the heart that fell her in the demo was accidental, but it felt poetic so we extended it to the rest of the game.)

So on top of adding more swords, we made her heart visible. This is something we did with the fury as well, as a way of showing their emotional (and physical) vulnerability.

Here's an early version of the Adversary and what would eventually become the Eye of the Needle, back when she was still called the Fury. Originally her hair was going to be fire (as seen on the right), but it didn't feel right in its execution.

She's hit the gym since this concept art. Good for her :)

And we're going to end with the Beast, who at this point was called the Adversary. I think this was before the Witch was added? The Beast was originally designed to be a Questing Beast who lurked in the shadows, where you'd only see glimpses of her, and where each glimpse would make her appear to be a different animal. This was too difficult to execute, though we gave her a more chimera-like appearance in the final game.

This design was from when we still has the Voice of the Obsessed, and the route was going to be a more feral mirror of what eventually became the Adversary, but it felt too thematically similar while being less interesting, so we moved in the direction of making the Beast about consumption as a form of love.

Anyways, that's all we've got for you right now. Hope this was fun!

#slay the princess #interactive fiction #character design

[inafever]

On how much Aziraphale has learned since season one:

This is about character development. Inside of a story, everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's meant to tell you something, to teach you or the character of your story, something.

So if the story continues and your character repeats the same mistakes again you know that they are bound to be doomed this time, and even worse the audience is going to certainly lose respect for them, cause they have made the same mistake twice, they haven't learned anything, they're gonna do it again another time, they don't deserve a happy ending. (yes I'm talking about good omens here) So you don't do that to a character that matters to you and you respect even the tiniest bit.

A Lot of us here are thinking that this is what has happened to Aziraphale's character at the end of season two, that he has done it again, repeated the same mistake again and has left Crowley to join heaven and it's been because of reasons like wanting to change Crowley (not true, see this post), still believing in heaven's goodness (not true at all), not being on the same page with Crowley (I'm gonna talk about this one especially in this post) and such likes. But these are the things he should've known better about after 6000 years and all the events that we've learnt about especially throughout season two. (It seems to be rather the whole point doesn't it?)

But we all seem to rather believe that he's made that mistake again nonetheless. so what we're doing here is trying to find reasons to justify the mistake and somehow make the reason behind the wrong actions something relatable to ourselves so we can forgive him when the time comes.

In fact I don't believe that he's made a mistake. for Aziraphale's character to be redeemable, what he has done, must be the only option that he's had for saving them both. I don't care what kind of situation could have resulted in him making this decision, but the only reason, the one and only reason, must be his love for Crowley. Otherwise it'll prove that he hasn't learnt his lessons or doesn't love Crowley enough to make a compromise, and in both cases, he's not worthy of love. He won't earn his happy ending by being tortured and feeling sorry and doing the apology dance for Crowley if he's hurt Crowley out of selfishness and stupidity again

But I'm sure he'll earn his happy ending and I'm sure he's learnt his lessons and it's too late for him to have unlearned them all in a matter of a few seconds. (He is an idiot but he's not stupid) and it's mostly because of this, that I believe the reason why he made that decision, must be very different from what it appears to be on the surface.

Anyway, this post is about what Aziraphale has learned and how he's changed.

I have made a post about their moments of conflict from both season one and two, it's here and you can look it up. This is where you begin to understand how Aziraphale has changed since season one because these are his dialogues after he's had a fight with Crowley in the bandstand, season one:

"even if I did know where the antichrist was I wouldn't tell you we're on opposite sides"

"friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you"

"there is no our side Crowley. Not anymore. It's over"

And then there's season two, when they disagree on what to do with Gabriel, Aziraphale is the one to point out that they both rely on the life they've built together

He's asking him to help him take care of Gabriel together and in response Crowley leaves

In the final scene he asks Crowley to come back to heaven

"work with me" "We can be together as Angels, Doing good" "I need you."

He says anything he can think of literally to convince him to stay with him and it doesn't work

We start from "we're not friends" and arrive at "work with me. we can be together"

Even if we don't know the reason why he's insisting on taking Crowley back to heaven with him, this is an Angel that has picked up the pace. That wants them to be an us. No matter what.

But these are only a few dialogues. I think there's more than that. I think the show in five and a half episodes (out of six) has tried its hardest to make the point quite clear about how Aziraphale feels about Crowley (or how strongly he feels those emotions). all through the way he looks at him and through his gestures and soft touches from time to time

I'm gonna make another post of those moments separately and I'm gonna link it to this when I do.

update: (here's the post. not just average moments of Aziraphale looking cute, it's something about the way he looks at him)

And I'd like to even compare those wishful glances to some of those from season one, but I can't, cause they are nonexistent in there.

#remember season two is a test of faith guys #we're the job in this one #neil liked this #good omens #good omens 2 #gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #gos2 #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #gomens #gomens 2 #neil gaiman #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens season two #good omens thoughts #good omens analysis #good omens meta #gos2 theory

[gyuswhore]

the story of us ✦ j.w.w x reader

the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now - the story of us

synopsis: So many walls that you can't break through; except you do.

wc: 2.1K

contains: best friends to lovers, angst, fluff, humour, happy ending, alcohol, arguments

masterlist

Support creators by reblogging!

[a/n]: im exhausted, im loopy, im hungry, but i really wanted to post this so here you go my babies I'm sorry i haven't fed you in so long (ty @toruro for making sure i wasn't talking out of my ass in this ily)

[edit; 11/04/24]: grammar and spelling.

Jeon Wonwoo was nearing boiling point when he watched you push him away from yet another conversation.

He tried to understand, just like he always had. But it was proving near impossible at the five-month mark. 

There were clear signs you exhibited when you needed space, for whatever reason, Wonwoo knew you would tell him when you recovered. So he gave you what you needed.

And yet, when he finds himself pushed away from what looks like a casual conversation between your mutual friends, he finds his mild annoyance grow into something hotter. 

There’s a clench in his jaw as he tries not to squeeze the red cup in his hand with too much pressure, even when all the spiteful bit of his brain wants to do is to pour its pigmented contents all over your cream outfit. He manages to control himself, choosing to get up and exit the premises entirely. In complete silence, he refuses to acknowledge any yell of his name from passing acquaintances. 

Jeon Wonwoo refused to respond to any of your advances after that. 

Invitations to lunch were left on a jarring sent, the notification sitting in his log until he chooses to open it too late. His response was bare when you asked for help on some accounting concepts, pushing you over into Jihoon’s hands to fulfill your requirements. There’s a blatant shrug when you touch his shoulder, concerned, asking why his behaviour had become so distant in the past weeks; he responds with a mumble of, “just tired”.

The great divide happened a few days proceeding your birthday, one for which Wonwoo did nothing for but send you a quick message during the evening, never to see you throughout the extended day. 

“I can’t believe you’re putting this on me!” you all but yell, eyes wide and expression exasperated at the situation.

“Are you blind? Or just plain stupid? Because I didn’t tolerate months of your shit attitude to have you say it isn’t your fault.” Wonwoo is breathing heavily, hands motioning towards your entire figure with equal disbelief.

“What attitude?” you emphasize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t be upfront with my best friend.”

“There’s a difference between being in a mood and blatant disrespect. I’m tired of having to put up with your mood swings like it’s my responsibility to coddle you. When was the last time you genuinely asked me how I was doing?”

“All the time!”

“Yeah, after you realize there's nobody else to whine and wail to!”

“Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Fine. If I’m clearly so unhinged, I’ll leave you to your liking.” 

The dwindled interactions, from messages to hellos, went from sparing to nonexistent — just like that. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect for you and Wonwoo to reconcile in the matter of a few days, if not a couple weeks.

But when the distance did nothing but grow larger, there was a settle of resentment in the pit of your stomach as you accepted the feud you were in. 

A text was sent from your phone a couple days after the incident.

[You]: can we talk?

But when you see no sign of the grey Delivered on the end, you knew he had blocked you. 

This was all nothing less than baffling to you for a number of reasons, starting with how you had never witnessed Wowoo acting this way. 

Wonwoo had done nothing but reprimand you the rare chance you suggested blocking an apprehensive individual, something about not showing that you cared. His voice seemed redundant after a certain decibel, the rarest chance to witness him yell at a failed video game or a frustrating professor. 

You know better, which is the only reason you’re ruling off paranormal possession. 

The claims against you came as an afterthought, not, however, rendering them any less strange. There’s a part of you that pondered if your shield of annoyance blocked you from seeing the truth in his words and in your behaviour, finding yourself overwhelmed with emotions when the thought crossed your mind, tears of frustration immediately blurring your vision. 

You did not understand, you could not. And when it all got too much, you allowed the hurt and confusion to turn into something more dangerous. You replaced it with anger, in the same place that once occupied a more delicate emotion. 

There was an uproar in Wonwoo’s mind when he sees you walk into the lecture hall, unaware of your overlapping schedule in the new semester. He watches as your eyes pass over the moderately packed space, briefly glancing over where he sat; if you saw him, you did nothing to bring a reaction out of it. You take a seat a few rows up front, right in front of him where he’s able to see the back of your head for the next two hours — for the rest of the semester. 

He wonders if it’s too late to switch classes. 

“Wonwoo, I honestly think this is getting out of hand.” Jihoon munches on his cashews, leaning against bark of the tree they were both sat under. 

“Did you want me to keep tending to her bullshit then?” he grumbles.

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know it’s not.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” Wonwoo’s retort is brisk.

Jihoon is suddenly snapping his fingers in his face at the reply, a flinch accompanies Wonwoo’s already sour expression. 

“See! See how frustrating it is when somebody isn’t making sense?” 

“How does this—” 

“Wonwoo, did you try talking to her about how you felt, you know, without the screaming?” 

Jihoon watches as Wonwoo’s expression clears out, his eyebrows unfurrowing and the scowl fading. He doesn’t speak, choosing to let the realization kick in.

“No.” 

Jihoon sighs, taking another pause. “I’m not saying what she did wasn’t uncalled for, but you need to talk shit out before deciding you hate each other.”

“I don’t hate her.”

“Right, so can we wrap this up quickly and have you confess your undying love so we can all relax.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Heat crawls up Wonwoo’s cheeks.

“What? If you don’t hate her, it’s gotta be the opposite.”

Did Wonwoo like you? Yeah, he probably did. Did he ever let himself ponder upon it? No, because he was downright mortified of the mere thought. He finds himself a hypocrite to say it was to preserve your friendship, but he figures he’s fucked it up in a way that’s arguably worse. 

Regardless, Wonwoo walks away from that conversation with two things: a stark realization, and an even starker admittance. 

Everything was going wrong. At least that’s what it felt like when you hear the clang of your water bottle hit the pavement, rolling off into the oncoming traffic as you sprint to grab it. You nearly cause a vehicle pile-up, swallowing a couple profanities from braking drivers. 

You’re stuffing the darn thing into your bag when you trip on a loose brick on the path, nearly landing on your face. The glare you send into the pavement costs you even more when a hard shoulder bumps into your side, sending you another couple steps back. You don’t bother to see who the perpetrator is, too preoccupied with your attempts to take in deeper breaths amid the blankness of your mind. 

There are no hiccups after that, what you might owe your more conscious mind to. Stomping up the library steps, you thank nothingness for the air conditioning that meets your hot face, slowing down as you take in the crowd. 

Scanning the room for an empty seat is harder than you’d anticipated, hoping the heat would keep students away from the building as you left to get work done. Approaching a table, you set down your bag with a huff, pulling the chair out to finally take the seat you’ve been needing for so long. 

The universe seems to have other plans. 

It’s almost funny the way you and Wonwoo make eye contact across the other table, the recognition sending a jolt through your stomach. 

You’ve never moved so fast, pushing the chair back in with a screech that earns you a few looks, grabbing the handles of your bag as you turn around to leave the building you’d just entered. 

No way you'd sit there. Not when he was around.

You're bounding down the steps when somebody passes you, murmuring something without slowing their stride.

“I’m leaving, you can go inside,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his voice has you halting almost immediately.

Whipping your head around to search for the sound, you watch as he takes a turn at the end of the steps, slowly moving out of your vision. 

There’s a swirl of something in your chest, and you realise in that moment how much you missed hearing his voice. 

Chiding yourself, you blink back the water that wells up in your eyes, embarrassed at how quickly you were losing yourself.

But the damage was done. And you wanted to be reckless, regardless of how desperate it made you look. A split second decision is made in that moment, one that lightens the heavy feet that you’ve planted on the concrete. 

You’re back to bounding down the steps, but this time with aim. 

Taking the same turn you saw Wonwoo take, you break into a sprint as you see his figure move farther away. You keep running, continuing to bump into both objects and people, hurried "sorry"'s the only thing you choose to throw their way. 

“Wonwoo!” Your voice comes out stronger than you’d intended, the sharpness having him turn around in search, eyes landing on your accelerating figure. 

Both of you realize too late how fast you’re really going, the velocity taking you directly into his outstretched arms, hands grasping the sleeves of his shirt as you come to screeching stop directly into his chest. 

You don’t have the time nor the patience to be embarrassed, pulling your face back to look directly into Wonwoo’s bewildered eyes to huff out your next words.

“Why did you block me?” you ask, voice gruff and slightly out of breath.

Wonwoo’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, words refusing to come out. 

“Why are you so mad at me? Why are you being nice to me if you’re mad at me?” You don’t stop, the direct questions tumbling off your tongue in desperation. 

You search his face for an answer when his mouth fails, but all you find is the remnants of shock yet to ebb away. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, I’m sorry for taking your presence for granted, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for…for… I don’t know! I’m just really sorry and I don't know how else to make this right.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you hear him say and you feel the moisture return to your eyes. 

“Huh?”

“I should’ve…” he pauses, looking sheepish. “I should’ve talked to you before I, y’know, went off on you. I should’ve managed my feelings better, I’m sorry.” 

You're silent for a few tantalizing moments before you raise your fists, and pound down on his chest with everything you have. You do it again, and then again, and again—

“What?- Ow!” 

“When are you gonna stop bottling up your feelings for fucks sake, it’s landed you everywhere but good!” you say, nearly yelling.

Wonwoo whips his head around to see who’s listening, palm to mouth in attempts to silence you. 

“I’m sorry! I know! I’m working on it,” he rambles, trying to get you to quit struggling. “Jihoon and I talked, that’s why I realised I was being dumb.”

“Are you gonna unblock me now or do I need to pay Jihoon to sit down with you again?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You payed Jihoon to sit with me?”

“No, you idiot. But I should have because you can’t seem to figure out how to feel emotions.” 

Wonwoo can’t help himself when he breaks out into a grin, letting out a breathy chuckle that has you asking “What?”.

He pulls you in, heart to heart in an embrace, holding you tight to make up for the weeks of no contact. He breathes in your scent and feels as though he hasn’t in years. 

“I’m not gonna come running up to you the next time you decide you hate me,” you mumble into his shoulder, pouting slightly.

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“No.” Wonwoo pulls away but keeps you in his arms, looking at you, “I love you. Like, the kind of stuff that makes you wanna live together forever. I love you.” 

It’s your turn to gape like a fish. 

“W-what?”

“You told me not to bottle up my feelings.” 

“Yeah, but—wow, um.” 

“Did I make another mistake?” 

No! You wanted to scream. But you don’t. You instead lift your hands up to come around his face, cradling it. And you kissed him. 

“I love you, too. Like the live together forever kind.” 

#wonwoo #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo angst #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo #seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #svt #svt fluff #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen x you #em.writes

[ddejavvu]

pairing: anakin skywalker x reader

summary: you and anakin have a mug that you set out if you want to tell the other that you're in the mood. You're discovered at a rather unfortunate time.

a/n: basically just that new girl scene where nick and jess admit that they've got a sex mug except i wanted to do it with anakin and quin is my favorite character so this manifested itself. if you're unfamiliar with quinlan vos, all you need to know to understand this blurb is that he has psychometric powers, meaning he gets a sort of 'force echo' of what he touches. When he touches something, he sees its ‘memories’ of those who touched it before - what they were doing when they touched it. sorry if this isn't what you wanted to see but i'm so goddamn obsessed with quinlan that i need to write about him so bad or i'll short circuit and this is my blog so i do what i want 🫡

this post is 18+, minors dni.

Typically, you've got no problem with Obi-Wan walking into the Knights' quarters you share with Anakin. After being knighted, the Master-Padawan pair had been understandably uncomfortable with seeing each other less and less, and you'd always enjoyed the man's company when he came by to visit.

Now, however, it's proved itself to be a problem.

Obi-Wan sits at your small dining table, his only company being a misplaced mug at the place beside him, having helped himself to a cup of tea that he'd brought the leaves for. He'd been less-than-impressed at your dismal selection of teas, and had stashed a box of his own atop your cabinet for when he came to visit. Now he's nearly downed his cup, and neither of you are back yet from your classes that should have ended an hour ago.

He shouldn't worry. There's plenty of reasons why you'd be late; maybe you've stopped by the creche to help out with the younglings, or Anakin had dragged you to one of the refectories to scarf down an early dinner.

Except Anakin has never, never volunteered for creche duty, and the refectories are serving his least favorite meal today.

Obi-Wan has generous faith in you. But you've been roommates with his former padawan for long enough that he's sure Anakin's unbridled mischief has rubbed off on you by now, and he's worried that the two of you might be getting into something you shouldn't.

To his credit, he's right.

Anakin is in something he shouldn't be in. He's in a supply cupboard, he's in you, pressing you flat against the wall and hiking your thigh up over his raised forearm.

"Higher," He grunts, his nose bumping yours as he breaks away from kissing you to mumble into your mouth. Then he bites softly at your lower lip, licking over the momentary sting as you try lifting your trembling thigh higher over his arm.

"Come on," He goads, his grin bright as his eyes glimmer with a touch of sadism you wish you weren't attracted to, "Where did all that Jedi strength go?"

You want to spit something sharp at him, perhaps tell him it fell to the floor when his pants did. But all you manage is a weak groan, and Anakin hikes your leg up for you. His cock is thick, heavy, and hard, and it pistons in and out of you at a steady pace as slick dribbles down your thighs.

Both of you are blissfully unaware that Obi-Wan is waiting for you in your quarters, and that another wayward master has picked up on his trail.

"Knock knock," Quinlan says after the door to your quarters is already open, which doesn't surprise Obi-Wan in the slightest. Quinlan had the same habit when they were younger, barging into rooms first and apologizing later.

"Obi," Quin greets with a grin, in that sing-song-y tone of voice that he uses only for the nickname, because Obi-Wan has corrected him just over a thousand times throughout the course of their friendship that it's Obi-Wan, thank you very much, "Where'd the brats go?"

"I don't know," Obi-Wan admits, offering the seat across from him to his friend, "I do hope they haven't gotten themselves into any trouble. There's tea in the kitchen, if you want some."

Quinlan, who has expressed his rather harsh opinion on tea just over a thousand times throughout the course of their friendship, glares at Obi-Wan. Payback, he supposes.

"No, thanks." Quinlan flops down in the empty chair with a huff, and Obi-Wan marvels at how he manages to act thirteen while being over thirty, "I'd rather drink my own piss out of this mug." He reaches forwards to grab the dishware that had been sitting out on the table when Obi-Wan had arrived, then in a split second his face changes - dropping into a horrified grimace - and he flings the glass across the room.

It shatters as expected, and Obi-Wan jerks in his seat.

"Quinlan," He chides in disbelief, but waits for an explanation.

Quinlan, poor Quinlan, with stronger psychometry than he knows what to do with most times, who doesn't bother to shield himself from any potential memories in the presence of close friends, has had a rather unsavory vision of your past uses of the mug.

"Oh, kriff," He grunts, chest heaving slightly as he stares at his bare hand like it's betrayed him, "Kriff, Obi-Wan, they're having sex."

Obi-Wan feels like he may have just been struck full-force by Coruscant's train.

"What?" He sits impossibly straighter in his chair, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I touched that thing," Quinlan explains, "And- and I was assaulted with unsavory visions, and- Obi-Wan, they put it out to let each other know they wanna fuck."

As soon as Obi-Wan processes the information that he'd really rather not have, he's on his feet.

"We need to find them," He declares, and Quinlan's jaw drops open in a display of the dramatics that the man is so fond of.

"You want to find them?" He asks, "Like- you're gonna march around the temple, and try to find them while they're banging?"

Obi-Wan considers this, and his face wrinkles into a grimace, "No. No, I don't want to find them."

Obi-Wan sinks back into his seat, speechless for the first time in a very long time. The two friends stew in an awkward silence until Quin swallows, clearing his throat.

"I'm almost.. a little proud. I think."

"Quin," Obi-Wan groans, but his friend is already talking over him.

"-I'm just saying! Good for them."

"I'm going to have to give him the talk," Obi-Wan groans, burying his face in his hands and wishing to pitch himself off of the temple's rooftop gardens instead, "I never did. I thought- well, I don't know, he had a lesson on it in class. I thought that would be enough."

Quinlan, who has very vivid memories of defacing the desks in the temple with drawings of the same reproductive organs that he and Obi-Wan learned about during their own youth sex ed course, nods in remembrance. Silence descends upon the pair once more as neither one can muster up enough energy to properly address the situation. Not enough time has passed for the mortified blush to be off of Obi-Wan's cheeks when the door opens once more, and he bets that Quinlan's face is similarly warm, and perhaps twisted into the faintest smirk.

"Oh, hey." Anakin nods once at his former master, missing the aghast expression on his face, "How long have you guys been waiting for us?"

"I just got here," Quinlan informs him, "And I should leave."

"Don't-" Obi-Wan starts, but reconsiders, because he thinks Quinlan might not be the best influence during a serious sex talk. He sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose, "Just- go."

"See 'ya, kids." Quinlan's grin as he claps the both of you on the shoulders is equal parts resigned and amused, "Enjoy what's to come."

Anakin's brow furrows alongside yours, and in explanation, Quin offers only four haunting words: "I touched your mug."

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker scenario #anakin skywalker oneshot #anakin skywalker one-shot #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker headcanon #anakin skywalker headcanons #anakin skywalker hcs #anakin skywalker hc #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfic #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker blurb #anakin skywalker drabble #anakin skywalker dialogue #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker smut

[biniminisblog]

easy | lee minho oneshot

pairing: lee minho x reader

prompt: “did i do something? why are you suddenly acting so distant?” “just… because.” link to post here

genre: angst, fluff at the end, nonidol!au, kinda grumpy x sunshine, friends to lovers

word count: 1.6k

a/n: …idk what i wrote lmao. this is what happens when im in my missing minho hours. anw as always if you liked it pls reblog, comment, or send an ask and share your thoughts and feedback! also thank you to @dumplingsjinson for the prompt that inspired me to write this!

minho hates you. he hates you for making him fall in love with you. this wasn’t supposed to happen. this was all your fault. yes, your stupid smile and your stupid laugh and the way your eyes twinkle every time you look at him is the reason why he’s currently spiralling from his emotions.

despite his aloof attitude towards you, there was never a day where you failed to annoy him, even in the slightest. before, it was easy to just brush you off every time you try to get his attention. so easy to ignore the members whenever they talk about you. everything was easy back then. why couldn’t you just take the hint?

when you greet him enthusiastically so early in the morning, which he would usually just roll his eyes at, now makes his heart beat faster than it should have. and unlike before, his attention would instantly be diverted to the person who so much as just mentions your name.

he’s actually starting to think he likes spending more time with you, and not just as friends anymore. which is why he stopped hanging out with you. so when you suddenly appear before him outside of his apartment at eight pm on a friday, he knew he was fucked.

“hey…” you greeted him, and minho notices you slightly shiver from the cold. he gently grabs your arm and pulls you inside so you both don’t suffer from the harsh weather. after he closes the door, he turns to see that you were already sitting comfortably on his couch. another reason why he hates you is because of all the fond memories you both shared on that same damn couch. movie nights and cuddling were only some of the things he despised, recalling those memories where his heart fluttered the most.

“so, uhm, it’s been a while huh?” you lightly chuckle, but it was different to the usual joyful tone it had. now it seem more dejected. “you haven't been answering my calls lately, is there something wrong?”

he didn’t know how to answer that because yes something was wrong, but not in the way you think. he just settled with a simple shake of his head and plops down on the couch next to the one you were sitting on. it was hard not to notice the amount of space between the two of you, however the both of you don’t mention it.

“don’t worry about it, i was just busy so i couldn’t answer your calls.” to further prove his claim, he points to the copious amounts of paperwork stacked on top of each other on the coffee table. it was true that he was busy with work, but he always made time for you despite that. though he didn’t know that his feelings for you would be deeper than just a friend he would occasionally be annoyed at.

“minho, i’m not stupid. i know you’re ignoring me.” of course you’d catch on immediately, it was you after all.

“well if you knew that, then why are you here?” minho’s words come out a lot meaner than he expected, and he immediately regrets it once he sees the look of hurt flash in your eyes.

“sorry, it’s just that a lot has been going on lately and i—”

“did I do something? why are you suddenly acting so distant?” you cut him off, feeling frustrated at your friend’s lack of communication. you start to stand up from the couch to get closer to him, but minho was two steps ahead as he gets up first and heads to his kitchen. you follow him there and see that he took out a glass and poured himself some water to drink. you’re not sure why, but you think it’s just to prolong him from answering your question.

“minho please, i miss you! i miss hanging out with my friend, don’t you miss me too?” you plead, and minho’s facade breaks. his eyes soften and he puts the glass down so could walk closer to you. he stops right in front of you and moves his hand to caress your hair. you lean in to his touch, already missing the way his fingers would comb your hair soothingly. minho just smiles at your reaction before pulling away slowly.

“of course i miss you yn,”

“everything was fine so why are you doing this? why are you avoiding me?” yes, everything was fine and easy until you decided to mess with his heart. but you didn’t know that.

“just… because.” you scoff at his explanation, resisting the urge to smack him for not giving you a clear answer.

“because what minho? am i too annoying for you? do i talk too loudly? what is it minho!? i can’t take this any more, i thought we were friends—”

“and that’s exactly why!” you stop, and minho takes this as an opportunity to finally let it out.

“the reason why i stopped hanging out with you is because i don’t want to be friends anymore! don’t you see yn? i like you! hell, i’m in love with you! but i don’t want to be because i know you don't feel the same way. i mean, why would you? all i do is just say mean things to you.” minho breathes out a sigh and watches as you take in all the words he just said. however, he was too scared of your rejection, so he moved past you and headed towards the living room. you were still too stunned to move so you stay rooted in the kitchen.

“please just forget everything i just told you and i promise i won't ignore you anymore.” minho almost raps as he maneuvers his way towards the coffee table and he distracts himself by arranging his paperwork. some part of him wants you to just accept that and go home, but the other, more hopeful side, wishes for you not to forget and return his feelings too.

when you arrive at the living room, you see minho crouched down beside the coffee table. you quickly grab his arm, startling him from the sudden contact. you pull him up and give him time to regain his balance before giving your side.

“what if i don’t wanna forget?” minho only looks confused, so you elaborate further. “what if i don’t wanna forget that you like me? what if i like you too, have you ever considered that?”

you almost laugh at the comedic look on minho’s face as his eyes suddenly widen in shock. you don’t, instead you grab his chin and pull him down towards you. your lips touched and it was still for a moment before he finally kissed you back. only then do you both pull away from lack of oxygen. your arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer and you rest your forehead against each other’s.

“so… does this mean we’re dating now?”

“do friends go around kissing each other like that?” you quirk an eyebrow and minho shakes his head at your sarcasm. it seems like he’s finally rubbing off on you.

“no they don’t.”

“good, ‘cause i don’t want you kissing your friends like that.” you both laugh and minho lifts you off the ground to spin you around, causing you to squeal in surprise.

“for the record, i don’t want you kissing your friends like that either.” after putting you down, minho gives you his signature smirk before kissing you once more and wrapping you up in a hug.

“and to answer your question, i’m in love with you too. so yes, we are dating.” you can’t stop grinning as minho continues to hug you, but he abruptly pulls away, causing you to look at him with confusion written in your features. he suddenly seems anxious, but he collects himself and takes a deep breath before talking.

“i’m just going to have to warn you that i may not be the best boyfriend in the world. i get moody a lot and say a lot of sarcastic things that may come off as rude. there are also times where i—“ he stops rambling after he hears laughter coming from you. he gives you a look that resembles an offended cat and you all but acknowledge it as you wipe away the tear that came out of your eye.

you cradle minho’s face with both of your hands, and he looks at you with such pureness in his big eyes that you can’t help but fall in love with him more.

“minho, i already know that you are all of those things, yet i still stuck around because i love you despite all of that, and i will continue to do so until you run out of snarky things to say,” you tease, and it gets a small smile from him.

“you’re right. if you were tired of me, you would’ve already dropped me while we were still friends.” minho jokes and you hum in response, giving him a peck to his cheek. you intertwine your fingers with his and with your other hand, run your fingers through his hair. “yes now stop worrying about that, you still owe me all the movie nights we missed because you’re an idiot.”

minho only replies with a laugh, silently agreeing that he is indeed an idiot. it surprises him how easily you break him free of his worries. and that despite everything that just happened, you still manage to crack his walls. but he guesses that’s how love works, it makes everything so much easier.

#skz #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #lee minho x reader #lee minho #lee know #lee know x reader #lee know imagines #lee minho oneshot #skz minho #stray kids minho #lee know fluff #lee know angst #lee minho fluff #lee minho angst #minho x reader #skz x you #skz imagines #stray kids fic #stray kids one shot #lee minho one shot #stray kids scenarios #lee know x you #lee minho x you

[flametrashiraarchive]

I'm impatient...

Here is the prologue of In Another Life. I may just wait to post the other chapters once the whole story is done.

Muzan x Reader- prologue revolves around sick human Muzan.

F!reader, some swearing, SFW (for now)

CW for reader's death (off page).

Prologue- 

Heian Era- a thousand years ago. 

One of the servants was sobbing in the kitchen again. You didn't need to ask why. Lately it had become a daily occurrence.

Your husband's doctor had been experimenting with new treatments, and each one only seemed to excel in providing a little more hope to be shattered. 

Making your way through your house, your senses became cloyed with the overpowering perfume of incense. It promised healing and protection from evil, but in a more practical way, it covered the scent of sickness. 

"Get out!" Muzan snarled from his futon as you stepped into his room. His long black hair was spilling down his back and shoulders like streaks of ink, his face pallid and covered in a sheen of sweat. "I don't want pity."

"Well, good, because I'm not here to give it to you," you said, stepping between the shattered pieces of a priceless vase littered across the floor. You'd loved that vase. It was a wedding gift. 

"Then why are you here?"

"Do I need an excuse to see my husband?"

He said nothing, but averted his eyes as you crouched at the end of his futon.

Your brow knitted when you saw the blood on the sheets. "Your hands…" 

Curling his fingers to try to cover the bleeding wounds, he made a disdainful "tch" sound and shook his head. "It's nothing."

You got up and went to fetch his wash basin and two rolls of bandages. "Well, that 'nothing' is staining the sheets–"

"To hell with the sheets." He glared at you as if daring you to challenge him. "Curse these fucking sheets. Curse this bed. Curse those good for nothing servants who tiptoe around me like their steps will shatter my body. Curse the fucking doctor and curse you too." 

It took him a moment to catch his breath; a moment where you simply looked back at him and let him get his anger out. In his position you would be angry too. Hell, you were angry. 

Finally, Muzan took a deeper breath and held out his bleeding hands, permitting you to tend to them.

Thankfully the wounds were not too severe. In fact, as you cleaned them it seemed absurd that such shallow cuts could bleed as much as they had.

Your eyes met his briefly as you bandaged his palms. "What did the vase do to anger you this time?" 

His frown lessened. "I'm just… tired of this."

"I know."

There was nothing more you could say that Muzan hadn't heard a thousand times throughout his life. Everyone was sorry. Everyone said they would pray for him. Everyone knew someone who had been cured of similar illnesses by putting a little extra ginger in their tea, or meditating daily, or taking walks, or sleeping with an onion beside their bed, or a thousand other absurd and pointless "cures."

He had never admitted it, and likely never would, but you suspected that the only reason Muzan tolerated your company was because you spoke to him like a person, instead of some delicate and unpredictable thing. 

Muzan looked down at his hands as you tied off the bandage. "Alright, your wifely fussing is done for the day. Leave me in peace."

"Absolutely not. You haven't performed a single husbandly duty in return." Brushing your thumbs across the backs of his wrists, you bowed your head and gently kissed the peaks of his knuckles.

A quiet chuckle finally emerged from him as he caresses the curvature of your cheek with his fingertips. "You only married me because you want my money."

"No, I was forced to marry you because my parents want your money."

His lips tilted into a faint smirk. "Is that so? Well, they probably won't have to wait long."

A sudden ache rose in your chest. Though the day you would have to be without him loomed ever closer, it wasn't something you were ready to confront yet. "Don't say that."

"Why not? It's the truth. Nothing that fraudulent doctor tries is working. I'm getting worse." He lowered his gaze to the sheets, and when he spoke again his voice was quiet. "Send the servants in to change these."

"The servants are cowering in the kitchen," you said, pulling the sheets from his futon and bundling them in your arms. "I'll go and wash them–"

"No." His hand on your arm halted you, his grip weak and unsteady. "Don't go. Don't… just stay a moment." 

There was a side to Muzan that he only permitted you to see. Behind the snarls and the bad temper there was a frustrated and frightened man, desperate for an end to his pain.

Before your marriage, your parents had prepared you, telling you that Muzan had no redeeming qualities besides wealth. He was rude, cruel, humorless, and he was sick. The doctors did not expect he would make it past twenty, and then you would be a wealthy young widow with enough riches to give her parents a comfortable life. You were assured you wouldn't care about his passing; Muzan was a monster and the world was better off without him.

But as you lay on the futon beside him, wrapping your arms around his fragile frame, there was only one thing you would change about your husband.

"I wish I could take this pain from you," you whispered, stroking his hair back from his brow. "I wish I could endure it for you."

He closed his eyes and relaxed into your caress. "I wouldn't want that."

While his eyes were closed, you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on the crease between his eyebrows, and then another on the bridge of his nose. There was nothing monstrous about him. 

"Do you want to try to sit in the garden with me tomorrow? The flowers are all in bloom and the sunlight might do you some good– at least for your soul."

"I want to. I don't know if I'll have the strength–" 

"Then I'll carry you on my back," you smiled as the corner of his lip curled ever so slightly. 

"You would, wouldn't you? You damned stubborn headed woman." He chuckled softly, raising his hand to rest his fingers on your cheek. "When I finally face the gods and demand to know what the fuck they were thinking when they cursed me with this life, you will be their rebuttal. They'll say ah, yes Muzan, we gave you a weak body and a shit heart, but we also gave you that insane woman who refused to leave you and loved you more than you deserve to be loved."

You laughed and Muzan smiled fully for the first time that day. Lying there on the futon, surrounded by shattered porcelain, you held each other; your adoration like an island of calm amid a sea of pain.

The love between you was patient, quiet, and always whispered like a secret. Your husband's delicate fingers wrapped around yours, bringing your hand to his lips.

His breaths were gentle and warm against your skin as he kissed your fingertips. "I'm sorry I can't love you the way you deserve to be–"

"Don't. You love me in your way and I love you in mine. One day we'll be reborn and find each other again, and we'll do all the things we can't do in this life."

He hummed softly. "I doubt I'll be reborn. I'm probably going to hell."

"Then I'll go to hell with you and we'll perform unspeakable acts of passion in the flames."

He opened his eyes just enough for you to see the look of mock disdain in them. "Such a vulgar wife."

"Oh please, the filth that drips from your vicious tongue."

A smirk titled his lips. "You once said my tongue was my only redeeming feature."

"Hah, I did?"

"You did." He closed his eyes and let his lips linger on the pulse point of your wrist. "The next good day I have, I'll remind you of just how redeeming my tongue can be. You can be the one lying here helpless while your husband devours you."

This man. This terrible, wonderful man. You could love him for eons if the world would only let you. 

▪︎○▪︎○▪︎○▪︎○▪︎

The cicadas fell suddenly silent, snapping you from your sleep. It took you a moment to remember where you were, that you had fallen asleep in Muzan's arms on his futon. He had been nestled against your breast, your fingers gliding through the dark waves of his hair.

But now night pressed against the windows. You had slept through the entire evening and Muzan was no longer beside you. 

The hairs on the back of your neck prickled, the fear that something was watching you from the bottom of the bed.

And then you saw him.

Muzan stood tall, straight-backed and firm, as if illness had never curved his posture. His smile was a sickle, his once deep, dark eyes now crimson. As crimson as the blood staining his nightshirt. 

"Muzan?" 

The air pulsed with danger. Every muscle and sinew in your body tensed as your nerves fired off warnings. This was not your husband. This was something else, neither human nor beast, wearing the visage of the man you loved.

"What are you?"

Those were the last words you ever spoke.

#muzan x y/n #muzan x you #muzan x reader #lord muzan #kny muzan #muzan kibutsuji #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #kibutsuji muzan #demon slayer muzan

[queerly-autistic]

I've seen some concern about the fact that the BBC has double-billed the last four episodes of Our Flag Means Death and bumped it up later in the schedule - concerns that this means it's not doing well for the BBC - and so I'd just like to allay some of those fears, if possible? To start with, it's important to recognise that the BBC does this all the time. I was in EastEnders fandom for many years, and nonsense schedule changes were a regular annoyance. When I shared OFMD's schedule change with my little group of friends from that fandom, everyone rolled their eyes and went 'oh yeah, typical BBC shenanigans'. As an example: the BBC was really pushing EastEnders last year, they'd been hard-marketing towards the big iconic Christmas episode since February, and then, around comes Christmas, and the BBC inexplicably sticks it on at 10pm (when it's usually broadcast at 7.30pm).

So this isn't unusual. This is extremely common. There's often very little rhyme or reason to the BBC live broadcast scheduling. To try and accurately read between the lines of this is like trying to analyse the written output of a cat walking across a keyboard.

But another big thing to remember is that Our Flag Means Death is a streaming show. The BBC dropped all of the episodes in one go because they know that it's the streaming audience where the show is successful. It's the same with What We Do In The Shadows - we know that the show does well for them, because they keep renewing their contract to show it, but because it does well specifically with a streaming audience the live episode broadcasts are perpetually bumped to a weird time (sometimes one in the morning!!).

The BBC is under contract to do a live broadcast of these shows, but that's not where the audience is. And that's why the episodes get shuffled around or bumped to a late timeslot or double-billed together. Them not necessarily getting spectacular overnight live broadcast ratings is not a big barrier to potential pick-up - streaming numbers is the important metric. And, just yesterday, the BBC dropped a card for the show over the credits of House of Games, a very popular (and mainstream!) afternoon gameshow, asking people to go stream it on iPlayer. if you haven't seen it, I managed to screen-record and post it on Twitter here (subtitles included): https://x.com/QueerlyAutistic/status/1762913455051325888?s=20. This is a really, really good ad to get - a very mainstream slot that potentially brings attention to the show from new audience demographics. The fact that they put an ad-read for the show in this particular slot is more indicative to me of the fact that the show is doing well for the BBC than any predictable shenanigans around live broadcast times. They advertised the 'niche' queer pirate comedy to a very mainstream middle-of-the-day audience! That's not nothing! And the fact that they were specifically advertising it as being on iPlayer - not the live broadcast - indicates to me that that's where it's doing well: that's where they know their audience is, and they don't care about the live broadcast, because the streams are where it's at. The live broadcast is probably just a contractual obligation at this point.

Our Flag Means Death is still regularly listed under 'trending' on the iPlayer website, and the Parrot Analytics for the show in the UK are excellent. And that's what we want. That's what we need to convince streamers. Remember: the YouGov survey about the show specifically asked questions about it in the context of streaming services. Overnight figures are lovely to have, too (so keep tuning in!) but this is a show made to stream. It was all dropped on iPlayer first for a reason; they're specifically pushing it on iPlayer for a reason. And, at the end of the day, it's streamers we're currently trying to convince to pick up the show, not broadcast television networks.

So, don't read too much into it. We're still doing good, UK crew!

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag bbc #save ofmd #save our flag means death #renew ofmd #renew our flag means death #adopt our crew #erin waffles

[helloalycia]

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

one / two / four / masterlist / wattpad

summary: you find out the reason why Jeff cheated, you and Jackie start to spend more time together and a familiar face makes a return...

warning/s: mentions of cheating.

author's note: here’s part 3! glad you’re all enjoying this one and sorry it’s posted a bit late, i’ve been fasting so time has been a whirlwind lately lmao

After reconciling with Jackie, our relationship returned to normal, or at least as normal as it could be now that she wasn't dating my brother.

Whenever we saw each other around, she'd smile or greet me, and I her. We'd make small talk every now and then, and I accepted that this was how it would be from now on. There was no need for her to make an effort with me anymore, as sad as that was.

One day after school, I was practicing with the Music teacher and school orchestra for the school play that was happening next month. It was relatively new, but I was enjoying it. Afterwards, as I was walking to my car, I noticed the Yellowjackets leaving the field and heading in the same direction. That was where I saw Jackie, chatting with Taissa but waving at me when she saw me. By chance, we fell into step with one another.

"Hey," I said with a smile, before glancing at Taissa. "Hey, Tai, how are you?"

"Good, just tired from practice," she said, returning my smile. "You?"

"Band rehearsal," I answered, motioning to the guitar case on my back. "Tired too."

She snickered. "Nice." Then she looked to Jackie and added, "Wanna give me your bag and I'll meet you at my car?"

"Thanks, Tai," Jackie said to her, before she jogged off to the parking lot to throw their bags in. Her attention returned to me as she said, "So, band rehearsal?"

"It's for the school play," I clarified.

"You? Acting?" she teased, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Hilarious," I said, shooting her a look. "I'm in the orchestra."

"Ah, that makes more sense," she played along. "Though seeing you up on stage in some Shakespearean garb would've been quite the sight."

"You wish," I mumbled, making her laugh. "So, how was practice?"

She shrugged. "Not bad."

But judging by the sideways glance she gave to Shauna, who was walking to her car also, I knew things weren't great.

"Everything still weird?" I asked sympathetically.

Jackie sighed, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. How could it not be? I lost my best friend and boyfriend in one fell swoop." I frowned, unsure what to say to make her feel better, but she shook her head and tried to change the subject. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"It does," I said softly.

"It's just awkward at practice now," she admitted. "And it's not supposed to be. I'm the captain and I can't even look Shauna in the eye. I'm still upset, but what can I do? I have to get over it for the team."

If Jeff hadn't gone about this the way he did, none of this would be happening. Would he have done something different if he knew the repercussions of his actions?

"I'm sorry," I said, smiling sadly. "I wish I could help somehow."

She relaxed her shoulders and gave me a small smile. "You are."

I disagreed, but she was stubborn, so I didn't comment.

"Anyway, I'm tired from practice now, but we haven't had a proper catch up since...," she started, but paused, unsure how to mention the cheating thing. "Yeah. Do you want to come 'round to mine tomorrow?"

My eyebrows raised, not expecting her to say that. And as much as I wanted to accept, I couldn't tomorrow.

"Not to sound like a nerd, but I have homework," I said with a slight chuckle.

"Oh, I can help," she offered, before smiling cockily. "I've done it all before, remember?" I laughed at her eagerness, and her amusement was replaced with sincerity as she continued, "Just because Jeff isn't in my life now, doesn't mean you don't have to be. I'm still here for you, y'know."

Hearing her say this warmed my heart and put any doubts I had about our relationship to rest. Maybe I wasn't just Jeff's little sister after all.

"I know," I confirmed. "I'm happy to stop by tomorrow. Thanks, Jackie."

She flashed me a smile, and I tried not to get distracted by how beautiful she was. Jeff was pretty stupid, wasn't he?

—

As time went on between Jackie and I, it felt like we actually became friends and not just circumstantial acquaintances. I tried my best to be there for her, both because I wanted to be and also because it felt right after my brother was the reason for her hurt. She never visited my place because Jeff lived there and she didn't want to see him, so I'd stop by hers if we hung out outside of school.

She never spoke more on the Shauna/Jeff situation, even when I knew she hadn't properly talked to either of them since finding out. Despite it all, I knew she missed Shauna, her best friend, but it was all still fresh and I just guessed she was bottling it away for now. I wondered how long she'd last like that – maybe forever – until she finally broke.

A few weeks later, a month after they'd broken up, I was watching a Yellowjackets game with Jeff at school. As always, they'd dominated the game with a 3-0 advantage and the crowd were on the pitch celebrating in no time. My plan was to congratulate Jackie, glad she'd worked on whatever problems had been developing in practice, when I noticed Jeff had wandered off in a different direction. I didn't really pay him much attention as I scanned the pitch for Jackie.

"Jackie!" I called over the noise of the crowd when I spotted her.

She wasn't looking at me, her expression dropping as she looked right past me. I followed her gaze, realising she was staring at Jeff who was hugging Shauna. I raised my brows with surprise, not realising they'd made it official now, and then he kissed her and she let him and I didn't know what to think. It felt inappropriate considering everything, but they didn't seem to care. Maybe they'd deemed a month long enough before going public.

I looked back to Jackie, whose jaw was clenched as she glared at them, and then before I could go to her, she stormed off angrily. I cursed inwardly, glancing at Jeff and Shauna once more – they hadn't noticed, too enamoured by one another.

Following after Jackie, I ran off the pitch and saw a streak of blonde heading back into the school. Worried, I chased after her, catching sight of her running down the hall.

"Jackie, wait up!" I called after her, breathless. Geez, was I really this unfit?

She kept running, going to the locker room and slamming the door behind her. I sighed, letting myself in, and she spun around at my entry. Tears were streaming down her face and she hastily attempted to wipe them away, making my chest hurt.

"What is it?" she asked calmly, though her hands were shaking.

I frowned. "I didn't know he was... seeing her now."

Feigning indifference, she said, "What does it matter? Obviously it was going to happen. They didn't fucking cheat for nothing, right?"

"Not so soon though."

She smiled bitterly, squeezing her hand into a fist as she tried to collect herself. But the tears were welling in her eyes again, and then she suddenly punched the locker angrily.

"Fuck him!" she yelled, startling me, before hitting the locker again. "Why does he get to be happy when I'm not?! How is that fair when he did the bad thing?!"

I let her calm down, figuring she needed to get her frustration out somehow, and then she frowned to herself, lips trembling.

"It's not," I agreed. "You're right."

She hugged herself, tears rolling down her cheeks silently. "If I'd just slept with him, if I hadn't waited, maybe he'd...," she began to mumble to herself, but stopped.

I was both grossed out and furious when I heard this. I'd never known the reason for their breakups, but this wasn't what I'd expected. And now Jeff had got what he wanted whilst Jackie was left to question everything. God, if I wasn't annoyed at him before, I definitely was now.

"No," I told her, irritated, but at my idiot brother. "That's not the right way to think. What he did was horrible. Whether or not that was the reason, he shouldn't have cheated. He's a coward, Jackie, and you shouldn't be here upset thinking about what ifs."

She shook her head, voice stuck in her throat, and then looked at me with glistening eyes. It broke my heart, seeing a usually confident and sure-of-herself girl broken at the hands of some guy.

"Oh, Jackie," I said sympathetically, stepping forward to hug her.

She fell into my arms, hiding her head in my shoulder and sniffling quietly. I didn't let go, one arm around her as the other rubbed circles on her back.

"You deserved better than him anyway," I told her quietly, lips moving against her hair. "I love him, he's my brother, but it wasn't right what he did."

She didn't reply, but she didn't make a move to leave either, so we stayed like that until I led her to the bench between the lockers, still entwined. Her sniffling lessened and the wet spot on my shoulder grew cold when she finally pulled back; her hand found mine and she didn't let go.

"Thank you," her voice came out as an unintentional whisper, making her clear her throat. "Things have just been so hard. Shauna was my person, and I'm just– I'm so hurt by her actions."

"I can imagine," I said, squeezing her hand gently. After a pause, eyes taking in her red, swollen ones with concern, I asked, "D'you think you'd ever forgive her?"

She exhaled shakily. "I don't know."

I nodded, waiting for her to take a breath. She let go of my hand finally, wiping away the remaining tears on her face before growing embarrassed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry on you," she apologised. "You definitely didn't sign up for this."

"It's alright," I assured her. "I'm just worried about you."

She looked down at her hands, knuckles red from punching the locker. "All that talk about me being there for you and, really, it was me who needed you."

I cracked a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, the extent of your support was tutoring me in French, and you're shit at that. Pas bon du tout (not good at all)."

She let out a laugh, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Making her laugh after she'd just cried, admiring the way her eyes glistened with tears but in a way that made them sparkle because of her momentary happiness... I'd never seen anything like it.

"I'm gonna pretend I understood that," she spoke with a raspy voice, before hugging me once more.

"C'mon," I encouraged, standing up and pulling her with me. "This isn't how you should be celebrating your victory. You're the team captain for crying out loud!" She smiled, and I continued, "Don't you usually go to those after parties?"

She pushed her fringe from her eyes. "I'm not really in the mood. Shauna and Jeff will probably be there...”

"Okay, how about celebrating with the girls?" I asked, not wanting to upset her so quickly.

Judging from her expression, I knew they'd be at the party too, so that was out. I pursed my lips, trying to think of a way to cheer her up, and then decided to just do it myself.

"Right, get ready and then meet me outside," I instructed.

"What?"

I was already heading to the door as I answered, "I'm taking you out. My treat."

She tilted her head, giving me a knowing look. "You don't have to do that."

I shrugged. "I want to."

She sighed deeply, smile curving on her lips gratefully.

As promised, I took Jackie out that evening, treating her to some ice cream at the fancy parlour in town and buying her whatever she liked. We talked about everything and anything, and I hoped that, for at least a moment, she could forget all about Jeff and Shauna.

—

It took a while after Jeff and Shauna had gone public with their relationship for Jackie to finally accept it and try to move on. Personally, I don't think I could have had it in me to be the bigger person, but when Jackie came to me telling me she wanted to clear the air with them, I knew she'd made up her mind.

Ultimately, it was her choice and I was happy that she finally felt like she was in a place where she could move on. Whatever she'd said to them had done wonders for her, as she no longer avoided my house anymore when she wanted to hang out, and I sometimes saw her talking to Shauna without staring daggers into the side of her head. It was progress I never thought I'd see.

Shortly after that, Shauna brought it upon herself to try and fix things with me. We'd never talked much before, but since she was Jeff's new girlfriend, she must have felt she needed to make things right. That was one awkward conversation, and I was still upset at her for how she'd handled the situation, but I knew that if Jackie could forgive her, then so could I.

So, that was how everything had settled into a new 'normal'. My friendship with Jackie had grown stronger and I was on somewhat good terms with my brother and Shauna, and I guess that was all I could need right now. Of course, that didn't change the fact that I still had a massive crush on Jackie, and anytime she'd show any interest in me, I grew flustered.

Take this one time when she was sat in the school theatre, waiting for me to finish up practice for the school play after school. It was in two weeks and we were doing final run-throughs with the music and acting together. Jackie was only here because we had plans to grab food afterwards, since she'd finished soccer practice today too.

After what felt like forever, the Drama teacher finally dismissed us all and I joined Jackie by the exit.

"That was actually pretty good," she said when she saw me, nodding to the stage where the other students were finishing up.

"It's not a bad play," I said with a shrug, before shouldering my guitar case. "You planning to get tickets?"

At this, she looked to me with a smirk. "Well, of course. Gotta support you, right?"

She was teasing me and I began to grow warm at the way she was staring at me, and then she was grinning at my reaction and I avoided her stare. Times like these were when I really wished I could get over her.

—

I was cleaning out my bedroom, per my mum's request as she wanted to do a spring clean even though it was the middle of the summer, when I heard Jeff calling me from his room.

"Coming!" I called back, before dropping what I was doing to see what he wanted.

If my room was a tip, his was much worse. But when he saw me, he had a neatly collated box of items in hand, holding it out to me.

"What's this?" I asked, accepting the box that he practically thrust in my arms. When I looked inside, I saw some girly items that definitely weren't his.

"They're Jackie's," he answered awkwardly. "It's just some stuff she left behind that I never got around to returning. I'd go, but I think it might be better if you do."

"Right," I breathed out, before nodding. "I'll sort it."

He offered me a small smile. "Thanks, Y/N."

I gave Jackie's house number a call, ending up in a polite conversation with her mother who loved to talk my ear off and, of course, ask about Jeff who she still wasn't letting go of. After I finally got to the point of my call, she encouraged me to stop by so I thanked her and made my way over to the Taylor residence, only planning to make a quick trip.

When I rang their doorbell however, nobody answered. I rang it another time and even knocked a few times, but there was nothing. And then I fell silent as I heard a faint beat playing from somewhere. Following the sound of the music, I found myself walking around to the garden, realising there was a pool party going on. The Yellowjackets were all here from what I could see, some lying on sun beds whilst others played in the pool. Music was blaring from some speakers and they all seemed to be having the time of their life in the sun.

"Y/N, hey!" I heard Jackie, and searched the space to find her in the pool.

My mouth went dry when I saw her climbing out, only in her two-piece swimwear. As she approached me with a smile, I was certain I'd forgotten how to breathe, unsure where to look because it all seemed inappropriate. Her hair was wet, water droplets rolling down her tanned skin, and I wouldn't have been surprised if I had a heart attack from how hot she looked there and then.

"My mum said you were stopping by," she said, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

I looked at her eyes and only her eyes, hoping my face wasn't as hot as the sun felt right now. "Yeah, I rang the doorbell but nobody answered."

"My bad, sorry," she said with a laugh. "I'm having a team pool party. Team building and all that. The music must have been too loud."

"It's all good," I said quickly. "Erm, I've got some of your things. You left it at ours when you were... yeah."

At the implication of Jeff, her smile faded naturally. Glancing at the box, she nodded gratefully.

"You alright to follow me?" she asked, grabbing her towel from the chair.

"Sure."

As she led the way, some of the girls said their hellos when I walked past, and then Jackie led me through her mansion of a home before settling in the kitchen.

"You can just leave it on the table over there," she said, nodding to the dining table whilst drying herself with her towel.

All I could do was nod as I went to set it down, and then she was suddenly behind me, the scent of chlorine and suncream washing over me.

"I was wondering where that necklace was," she said with amusement, looking over my shoulder and down at the necklace at the top of the box.

I shivered at how close she was, acutely aware of her minimal clothing and trying so hard not to let my eyes wander.

"You seem nervous, are you okay?" she asked, before walking to the fridge. "You want a drink?"

I swallowed hard, shaking my head. "No, sorry, I've gotta go finish cleaning the house with my mum. It's just hot out."

She smirked, clearly aware of the effect she was having on me, but I was too flustered to comment on it.

"That's too bad," she said with a pout. "You can stay if you want."

I waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, it's a team thing. I'll be okay."

She chuckled, eyeing me curiously, probably noticing the way I couldn't even meet her gaze anymore. "C'mon. I'll walk you out."

I followed her as she led me back into the garden, where the others were still having the time of their life. Jackie stopped and flashed me another picture perfect smile.

"Have fun cleaning," she said, patting my shoulder. "Maybe next time, yeah?"

I nodded, suddenly finding the space behind her head very interesting. She hugged me, making me freeze at the contact of both her body and the water on my clothes. She had to be doing this on purpose, surely.

"See you later," she said sweetly, eyelashes fluttering.

I nodded, quickly backing up, and stupidly almost slipping into the pool as I grew distracted by her yet again.

She laughed, warning, "Be careful!"

I smiled awkwardly, before taking extra care to leave without making even more of a fool of myself. Could you blame me? The last thing I needed right now was to be in close proximity of a half dressed Jackie Taylor.

—

Jackie Taylor was on everyone's radar, even when she was taken by Jeff, so I should have expected someone to make their move once enough time had passed since their breakup. Still, knowing it would happen didn't make it any easier to witness.

There was a fair in the park and the band and I had secured a gig there, playing a few sets during the evening. We played some covers and a few originals, the first we'd ever performed that I'd written. It was surreal, but everybody seemed to like it which made the smile permanent on my face the whole time.

After our first set, we all went offstage to take a quick break, and that was when Jackie found me. It was the first I'd seen her all evening, since she'd arrived with her friends and I was busy up until now.

"Y/N, you were amazing up there!" she complimented as soon as she saw me, pulling me in for a hug.

"Thanks, Jackie," I said appreciatively, returning her hug. "How long have you been here?"

"Your whole set," she said with a smile. "And would you look at that – I finally heard some original songs."

My cheeks grew warm as she shot me a teasing smile.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me who they're about?" she asked innocently, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.

"You supposed correctly," I retorted with a knowing look, making her curse quietly with defeat. I laughed and added, "Look, I appreciate your curiosity, but maybe they're just songs, d'you ever consider that?"

She eyed me suspiciously, smile ever present. "I guess... but I've got my eye on you, Y/N."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly, hoping she couldn't hear my heart racing in my chest. Green-brown eyes met mine, sparkling with mischief, and I forced myself to endure, not wanting to raise suspicion. Hopefully she'd never find out they were all about her.

After chatting with her on my break for a little longer, I rejoined the band onstage and performed a few more songs. It was easier to spot Jackie in the crowd now that I knew where I was looking, and she looked so cute as she stood there with her friends, dancing along to the music. It was almost a dream, and then it wasn't. Because as I was performing, I noticed some guy talking to her, the flirting very obvious even from where I was stood.

I tried to stay focused, purposely avoiding looking in her direction, but I couldn't help myself. My eyes would drift back over to her, and that damn guy was still there, trying his luck as she entertained it for a bit. I knew I never had a chance with her, but seeing the girl you liked chatting to another guy was always a kick in the teeth, especially when it meant she wasn't paying you any attention anymore.

After a few more songs, the band and I called it a night and wanted to enjoy the fair together. Jackie was still being talked to by that guy, so I attempted to ignore it and focused on having a nice night out with my friends.

After playing a few carnival games and going on some rides, Jackie found me again, standing with my friends as Y/BF/N bought some ice cream for herself.

"Hey, guys, nice performance tonight," Jackie complimented the others, who chorused their gratitude. She added, "You mind if I steal Y/N away for a bit?"

"Oh, no, go for it!" Tommy insisted with a grin, tugging the others away before I could protest.

I sighed as Jackie flashed me an enthusiastic smile. "I've been dying to go on the bumper cars. Wanna come?"

"I, er, I'm not really in the mood," I said, possibly being a little petty but I couldn't help it, I was just sad.

"Oh, c'mon, it'll be fun!" she exclaimed, shaking my arm. "You're not seriously gonna leave me hanging, are you?"

I chewed on my lip as she watched me hopefully, and it only made me realise how stupid I was being. She couldn't help it if a guy wanted to hang out with her, and I definitely had no right to be jealous. I'd watched her be my brother's girlfriend all these years, surely I could live with the fact that she'd inevitably get another boyfriend and I'd never have a chance with her.

Before I could give in and agree, the guy from earlier approached us again, checking Jackie out in a not so subtle way.

"Hey, Jackie," he said with a smile, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, jealousy returning in an instant. "You wanna go on the ferris wheel with me?"

I crossed my arms and looked away momentarily, anticipating the part where she'd say yes and this would all be for nothing.

"I appreciate you asking, Matt, but no thanks," she said politely.

"Oh," he said with surprise, and then grew awkward, probably not expecting her to decline. "Okay."

He left soon enough, embarrassed, and I glanced at Jackie with suspicion.

"Why not?"

She looked back to me, quirking a brow. "Huh?"

I motioned in his direction. "Why didn't you wanna go with him? He was flirting with you earlier, wasn't he?"

She suppressed a smile, eyes meeting mine with amusement. "Because I'm trying to hang out with you, idiot, if you'd only say yes."

My gaze flickered to the ground sheepishly as she let out a quiet chuckle.

"Bumper cars," I confirmed. "Sure."

Her smile widened. "Awesome. C'mon."

I let her drag me to the bumper cars, lightening up as we spent some time together. The longer the evening went on, the less this 'Matt' guy was gnawing at me, because Jackie chose me and that was something, right? We went on rides, played some stupid fair games at her insistence, despite them definitely being rigged, and she forced me to win her a prize even when I lost several times. But all in all, she was happy, and so was I, and I suppose that was all that mattered in the moment.

—

The first night of the school play was finally upon us and I was backstage getting ready when Jackie paid me a visit, surprising me with a bouquet of flowers.

"These are for me?" I asked with genuine surprise.

"What is it they say in showbiz? Break a leg?" she asked rhetorically, before laughing at her own joke.

I smiled to myself as I looked down at the flowers in my hand. "Jackie, they're beautiful. Nobody's ever got me flowers before."

She tilted her, confused. "Well, that's not right."

I chuckled, gaze falling to her. "Thank you."

Heart warming in my chest, I pulled her into a hug with my free hand, grateful for her support.

"You deserve it," she said simply, before squeezing me tight then letting go. "I should go find my seat. I'll be right at the front where you can see me."

I laughed. "I'll keep an eye out. Thanks, Jackie."

She flashed me a smile before leaving to find her seat, and I couldn't stop smiling as the Drama teacher briefed us once more before final call.

The show went on with few hiccups, probably the best run we'd ever done, and the audience seemed to love it, giving us a huge round of applause. When the orchestra got their own special shout-out, I caught sight of my family in the middle, applauding, and then Jackie, who was cheering me on so loudly at the front that I couldn't help but flush with embarrassment.

Once the curtains closed, the orchestra had to go backstage for another word with the teachers before we were finally alright to leave. I found my family waiting for me at the back of the theatre and walked by the other students receiving praise from their families.

"There she is!" Jeff exclaimed when he saw me, grabbing my shoulder and squeezing it supportively.

I smiled as my parents pulled me in for a hug and congratulated me on the show.

"Thanks, guys, thanks for coming," I said gratefully, looking between them all. "You really didn't have to. I wasn't even in the show."

"Nonsense," my mum said with a wave of her hand. "You played beautifully, sweetie."

I breathed out deeply, both embarrassed and appreciative of their support. And then Jeff's expression dropped and I realised Jackie was approaching, flashing my parents a smile.

"Jackie, how lovely to see you," my mum greeted her. "You're here for Y/N too?"

"Yes, she did great, didn't she?" Jackie asked, putting an arm around my shoulder playfully.

"She did," my dad replied with a proud smile, before raising the flowers Jackie got me in the air. "And thanks for the flowers. It was kind of you to get them for her."

"Anytime," Jackie said with a shrug, before looking to me. "Are you free now or d'you have plans?"

Before I could respond, my mum insisted I celebrate with Jackie, trusting her. Since her breakup with Jeff, Jackie was still a favourite of my parents, understandably so. After saying our goodbyes, I was left with Jackie, who seemed excited about something.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her with amusement.

"I wanna hang out, my treat," she said nonchalantly.

My smile grew. "Seriously?"

She linked arms with me and began leading me to the door. "Seriously."

And that was how we ended up at the arcade that evening, with Jackie keeping to her word and rinsing all her pocket money on the arcade machines that were definitely a waste but she didn't seem to mind. We played air hockey, skeeball, a zombie shooter game and a bunch of other stuff that I didn't think she liked, and it was awesome.

After spending over an hour messing around, she generously bought me dinner there, some burgers and fries, and I was certain I was dreaming.

"You have your own ketchup, y'know," I said with raised brows when she dipped her fries into mine.

"I ate it and there's none left in the bottle," she claimed, before going in for another dip.

"Then ask for another bottle!" I exclaimed between a laugh, pulling my tray away.

"Quit being selfish!" she retorted with a grin, before leaning over the table to land a swipe.

"Jackie!" I scolded, and she winked as she ate her fry.

I rolled my eyes at her petulance before recognising someone behind her, approaching our direction. After a double take, I realised it was Eve Perkins, captain of the Lions soccer team and the girl Jackie utterly despised. The memory of the party from last year came to mind, including the whole argument I had with Jackie afterwards, and I suddenly prayed Eve wasn't here to cause trouble.

"Okay, don't freak out, but Eve Perkins is heading this way," I said calmly.

Jackie was surprised, straightening up in her seat and dying to turn around, but she kept her cool. "I won't."

"So, let me get this straight," Eve said as soon as she stopped by our table, looking down at Jackie with irritation. "You freak out at me for hanging with a sophomore, only to hang out with her yourself? What? Was her brother not enough?"

I almost choked on my drink at the abruptness of her words, worrying when I saw Jackie beginning to clench her jaw and fix Eve with a glare.

"Firstly, that's none of your business," she said lowly. "And secondly, you bitch."

I sighed inwardly, already expecting an argument, and Eve laughed bitterly.

"Tell me, Jackie. You still worried we're gonna beat you next week?" she asked condescendingly.

"Not worried at all," Jackie said through gritted teeth, reaching for her drink to calm down.

Eve smirked with satisfaction before looking to me. "Y'know, it's a shame you're hanging out with her still. You were cute. And you definitely deserve to be more than Jackie's sloppy seconds."

Mean girl fighting was never my thing, and I was stunned into silence at how rude Eve was being, clearly because of some unresolved business with Jackie. I was also a little embarrassed at what she was implying was between Jackie and I, unsure how to respond.

"Fuck you," Jackie said instantly, not at a loss for words, and it made me realise just how quickly things had taken a turn for the worst.

"Okay, how about we just leave it?" I said, looking between them both before settling on Eve with pleading eyes. "Please?"

Eve seemed to give in, rolling her eyes before walking off to rejoin her friends by the arcade machines. I sighed with relief before returning my attention to a distracted Jackie.

"Are you okay?" I asked with concern.

She breathed out slowly. "Yes. Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm just surprised Eve reacted like that. It came out of nowhere."

"I'm not," Jackie mumbled under her breath, only confirming my suspicion of some unfinished business between her and Eve.

I chewed on my lip, still a little concerned, but then she met my eyes with apologetic ones, expression softening.

"I'm sorry she said all that," she said sincerely, though her cheeks were tinged pink. "You're not my... it's not like..." She was struggling, eyes flittering around uncharacteristically, before she finished, "You're more than my sloppy seconds."

Realising why she was awkward, I began to chuckle. "Jackie, I know. I don't believe what she said. And besides, no sloppy seconds would be treated as wonderfully as I have tonight."

She hid a smile as she nodded. "Right."

It was easy for things to return back to how they were after that little interruption, and Jackie and I finished the rest of our meals in peace. Once we were done, I grabbed our trays to throw in the bin and she waited for me by the door. As I was dusting my hands off, I felt a presence beside me and looked up, not expecting to see Eve yet again. I hoped she wasn't here to start another argument, especially because I knew I'd lose it.

"I meant it when I said you deserve better than Jackie Taylor, you know that, right?" she said with a quirked brow.

I frowned. "That wasn't very nice. Jackie's a good person."

Eve snorted in disagreement. "Sure she is."

I shifted my weight between my feet awkwardly., "Look, your feud is your feud. I'm not gonna get involved."

She shrugged. "Fair enough. Sorry for involving you."

I nodded appreciatively, and she gave me a small smile.

"See you around, cutie."

Again, I was speechless as she walked away, wondering if she was trying to mess with my head to somehow get back at Jackie. Either way, there wasn't reason for me to see her around since we went to different schools, so I didn't let it worry me too much. Instead, I returned to Jackie who was glaring at Eve from across the room.

"What did she want now?" she asked with annoyance.

Not wanting to give her more reason to be frustrated, I said, "She just wanted to apologise."

Jackie glanced at me, unconvinced, but I shrugged and held open the door for her.

"Let's get you home, Jackie."

Thankfully, she didn't question me.

#jackie taylor x you #jackie taylor imagine #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor #yellowjackets imagine #yellowjackets #ella purnell

[obeyme-and-myfics]

Prompt: Y/N had a nightmare and asks comfort

Characters: Barbatos, Diavolo, Simeon, and Solomon

✨🌸Fluff🌸✨

Y/N is going to be gender neutral to the best of my abilities. They/Them Pronouns, and I’m going to try and avoid gendered descriptors <3 Also tysm for all the love on the last post! I really appreciate it and I'm glad I could feed my fellow simps (✿◡‿◡)

I'm also gonna apologize now for possibly being out of character for anyone and also not adding Mephisto, Thirteen or Raphael. I Haven't met them yet so I don't want to write for them just yet but I will in the future. Anyway onwards to the story (╯▽╰ )

TW/CW: Not describing what was in the nightmare but if that ambiguity bothers you and makes your mind spiral please don’t read and have a wonderful night, 

Part 1 | Part 2(here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N jolted upright, holding their chest as it felt as if their heart would run away. They tried to calm their breathing and their thoughts, unable to shake the horrors their subconscious cruelly subjected them to. They took some deep breaths and manage to calm themself enough to look at the time. They squinted as their D.D.D lights up and the numbers display on the screen. It was late. They wondered if it may be too late to ask for comfort from someone. Taking another deep breath both to sooth their shaky hands and for some courage, they opened their contacts to make a phone call.

Diavolo

Y/N stared at Diavolo's contact for a moment. Sure he certainly wouldn't mind comforting them in this time of need, in fact he'd be eager to help his human but the real problem came with his royalty status. He was a very important man and they didn't want to stop him from performing his royal duties. They bit their lip and breathed in before clicking the call button. The phone rings for a bit before he picked up.

"Y/N!" his voice raspy and tired like he had just woken up, yet still sounding excited as he spoke, "what are you doing up so late? Is there something you need?"

"Yeah it is late," Y/N laughed a little, "I was wondering if you could stay on the phone for a bit," they made their quiet request shyly.

"Might I ask why?" Dia questioned, now intrigued by such a simple request.

"I had a nightmare and I really don't want to be alone," they felt their cheeks heating up with embarrassment as the demon prince let out a soft chuckle.

"Of course I can do that for you. Are you sure you just want me to stay on the phone? It would be much easier to comfort you in person," his voice softened, taking on a loving tone with not a trace of mockery.

"I mean yeah but I don't want to bother you too much. You probably have more important things to attend to."

"In this moment, you're the most important thing I have to tend to. I'll be there momentarily, be patient for me, okay?" he hung up, and left Y/N a bit flustered.

They rushed down the halls, and to the front door. Y/N paced around impatiently unlike what Diavolo had requested of them. They were excited yet anxious, worried about possibly making Dia lose sleep but happy to be held. Diavolo soon walked in, a grin decorating his features. Their worries washed away the instant their eyes met his.

He spoke up in a cheerful yet hushed tone as he shut the door as to not wake the rest of the dormitory, "Y/N, Thank you for being patient. I'll make sure you're comfortable and back to bed in an instant."

Barbatos

Y/N hesitated before calling the demon butler, unsure of whether or not he'd appreciate them being even more work for him. Barbatos had a lot of responsibility and little time to rest, seeing as he was the butler of the next king of Devildom. They sighed and internally gave themself a little pep talk before calling his number. The phone was ringing for only a second before Barbatos picked up.

"Good evening Y/N," he greeted, formal as ever with all my adoration of course, "is there a reason you're calling so late?"

"Yeah there is a reason.. I just need someone to talk to, I don't want to be alone right now," they mumbled out, "sorry for bothering you, you don't have to obviously."

"You're hardly a bother, I'd be happy to assist you," his calm voice reassured them that they were in fact safe, "shall I stay on the phone while I make my way to you?"

"Come to me?!" they blurted out loudly in a panic but quickly lowering their voice, "don't you have to be at Diavolo's side at all times or something?"

"Not necessarily, however my plan was to return to the castle with you.. Is it that you don't wish for my physical presence?"

"Well, no, I do.. I just-"

"Like I've stated before you are far from a bother, the young master is sleeping so all should be well. I'll send a message to Lucifer so he knows your whereabouts," he chuckled as Y/N sighs in defeat.

"Alright as long as its not an issue.." a small smile formed as they got themself ready.

"It is truly a pleasure to make you feel safe."

Simeon

Y/N tapped on Simeon's name, confident he wouldn't mind them bothering him. They didn't expect him to come over all the way from purgatory hall of course. They really just wanted him to talk to them for a while until they calmed down at the very least. The phone rings for a minute before Simeon picked up.

"Good morning, Y/N," he yawned out, "what are you doing up so early?"

"Well.. I'm not really up by choice,"

"Oh? Did something happen or is Asmo pestering you?" he chuckled a little, "though.. if it was just that you wouldn't have called me."

"I guess you could say something happened," they sighed softly, "this is really embarrassing.." They felt the heat rise to their cheeks

"Don't be, I won't judge you even if I think its something small," Simeon now sounded fairly awake and more serious than before

"I had a nightmare, I just don't want to be alone right now... I'm sorry," their voice quivered, threatening to crack and give away the fact there were tears trying to escape their eyes

"I see. I'll be over as soon as I write a note for Luke," they heard Simeon shuffle out of his bed.

"You don't have to come Simeon,"

"I know but I want to help you, Y/N,"

They grew quiet for a moment, "can you stay on the phone until you get here?"

"Of course I can. I'll care for you for as long as you need."

Solomon

Y/N didn't hesitate to call Solomon, full well knowing that he was up most nights. They waited impatiently, growing more anxious as the phone continued ringing. There was no answer, "Maybe he'd actually asleep for once..." they thought to themself, putting the phone down and rolling over. Y/N closed their eyes, trying to rest once more but was unsuccessful.

They sniffled softly before being startled by their phone ringing. Peaking at the screen, they smiled a little at Solomon's name being displayed. They answered after swiftly grabbing their phone once again.

"Sorry for not answering, I was busy with one of my projects and didn't hear the phone," he laughed a little bit, "but why are you up so late?"

"Oh. If you're busy its okay.. I just had a really bad nightmare."

"I see. That's unfortunate," he states the obvious, "What do you need from me to help?"

“Well I don’t know.. I just thought we’d talk and hang out on the phone, but-“

“No buts from you. I can do that but I think it would be much easier if I came to you,” he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” they pouted as if he could see them through the phone.

“I actually just finished something to help with this exact situation,” Solomon sounded excited, “how convenient! I’ll be over soon,”

Solomon hung up the phone, leaving Y/N alone again. They sighed, getting up and ready to greet him at the door. They wished he would’ve stayed on the phone but he was a bit oblivious when it came to social situations same Solomon same but they wouldn’t want him any other way. It was endearing in his own way how he got so excited at times that he forgot how to read a room affectionately of course. They waited patiently at the front door for Solomon to arrive. Solomon opened the door with a small smile.

“Solomon!” Y/N hugged him tightly

“Good evening,” he hugs back with one arm, pulling a potion out of his pocket with his free hand, “now let’s get you back to bed”

#obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me x you #simeon obey me #diavolo x reader #diavolo obey me #barbatos obey me #barbatos x reader #simeon x reader #solomon obey me #solomon x reader #obey me fandom #omswd fanfic #obey me fluff #omswd imagines

[ruggiezz]

— TAKE IT SLOW : twisted wonderland

[synopsis] you confide them about you self-harming and your scars - hurt /comfort

[characters] riddle, ruggie, kalim (part 1) / azul, floyd, jade (part 2) / jamil, silver (part 3)

[warnings] please do not read if this is a sensitive topic for you, this is meant to be for comfort, but it does mention blades, blood and scars that haven't healed yet

[extra] sorry if i haven't posted much lately, i'll try my best to keep posting regularly, i just haven't been feeling my best lately. i'll post another request later this month and the rest of the parts

★ RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

He found out when he caught a glance at your scars. You were at Heartslabyul helping out with the preparations at an unbirthday party, and he happened to be nearby when he spotted them. Riddle immediately panics, thinking you were hurt by someone else in NRC.

Grabs you by the hand and takes you away to a secluded area, demanding an explanation. Don't get him wrong; he isn't angry at you; he's angry at whoever did this to you, telling you they will pay for hurting you.

Doesn't know what to say when you tell him about why those scars are there in the first place. He certainly wasn't expecting this, and he has never met anybody who did this either. When you start crying over his silence, he panics and hugs you, assuring you he isn't angry at you. Riddle feels awful; he doesn't know what to say, so he just hugs you while you pour your heart out. He held you by the hand for the rest of the unbirthday party, not leaving your side.

Riddle starts reading a lot of information about why this happened in the first place, wanting you to seek help. He spends a lot of time in the library researching and stays up reading websites offering advice.

He snaps at Ace when he makes fun of you (even if it's in a non-serious way), he gets really protective, wanting you to not feel alone. He also texts more now, asking you how you're feeling and checking up on you.

★ RUGGIE BUCCHI

He was staying the night in Ramshackle when you told him to wait for you a bit, since you needed to go to the bathroom. Ruggie didn't mean to snoop around, he swears, but he checked your bedside table's drawers to see if you kept a snack or something he could eat since he was hungry. He was expecting to find something like cookies or maybe a book you borrowed from the library, but he found a couple of blades and tissues with dried blood.

Ruggie immediately closes the drawer, freaking out over what he finds. He knows what's going on now; he can't find another reasonable explanation. He doesn't know how to confront you now; he feels guilty that he wasn't able to notice before. He's supposed to be dating you; how didn't he see this coming?

He finds the courage to ask you when you come out of the bathroom. You ask him why he looks pale and has his ears flattened, and he decides to make you sit down and then ask.

He tries his hardest not to cry when he sees the scars, but you tell him they are healed, so it isn't recent. Ruggie caresses them with his fingers, so you can feel a little comfort. He hugs you when you cry and doesn't leave your side until you feel a little bit better.

Since then, he has made sure to take time out of his scheduled duties to check on you. He also got rid of the blades or anything sharp, tossing them in the trash. He starts saving money to take you to a therapist on Sage's Island, but if you don't want to go, he won't force you either, but he's worried. Ruggie tells you to come to him if you feel bad, so he can lend an ear and comfort you. He's your boyfriend after all; he's meant to be with you in good and bad, he says.

★ KALIM AL-ASIM

Kalim texted you, asking you to come to Scarabia. He had a big surprise for you that he had been dying to show you the whole week.

He almost tackled you to the ground with all of the excitement he felt as he led you to his room. You were sitting on his bed, hugging one of his pillows that had those expensive silk covers, when he pulled an expensive outfit out of his closet that he bought for you.

Kalim gave it to you, bouncing on his toes, waiting for you to try it on. You looked at it for a while in silence, and he noticed your sad expression and asked what was wrong. Did he get the wrong size? Did you not like it?

You start crying while you tell him that you can't wear it because it shows your scars, and you show him what you meant. Kalim feels like his whole world came crashing down right at that moment. He cries when you tell him; he can't imagine how much pain you must have felt for you to recur to self-harm, and he hugs you while apologizing for not realizing before. You assure him it wasn't his fault, but he still kisses your tears away.

If he acted very clingy before, he is even more clingy now. He doesn't want you to feel unloved and wishes you knew how much you meant to him. Kalim asks you to please text him when you feel like hurting yourself so he can be there for you and distract you.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #kalim al-asim x reader #kalim x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie x reader #twst x reader #twst

[whitealiselights]

GUILTY FOR LIKING YOU ➡︎ [PART TWO]

authors note¡ hiya friends I know it's been a while since I've posted and that's on me for sure amigas. I just haven't had the motivation to post anything lately. So, I finally challenged myself to completely finish part two of Guilty for liking you and hopefully uploaded by tomorrow.

update: yeah, it wasnt finished by friday. its been two weeks.

Genre; Fem reader x Spencer Reid (Angst) (Age gap) Spencer is early 20s and reader is mid 30s

Summary; you love Spencer — but does he love you¿

——————————————————————————

There he was. Spencer Reid, filling out his paperwork and talking to another girl. He was laughing and touching her. It was unusual because Spencer has never touched nor liked touching people. But, this one was different.

You had a feeling of pity. It made you upset that he was never interested in you like that. You had no reason to feel jealous or upset in any way. You two weren't even dating.

"I'll be right back guys." You spoke as you rushed to the bathroom. "Poor girl, having to see someone she likes so much being all lovey dovey with another woman." Spoke Emily.

"Pretty boy messed up but, I don't blame him. He doesn't understand how much she likes him." Morgan Spoke out. "Yeah, you're not wrong." Agreed JJ.

"Hey friends, where is Y/N?" Asked Pen as she walked out from her bat cave. "Oh she's in the bathroom. She said she needed a minute." Rossi. "Oh no. Why? What happened? Did someone or something hurt her feelings?" Asked Pen.

"Technically someone did hurt her feelings. You see pretty boy over?" Asked Morgan. "Yeah? What about him?" Asked Pen. "She got upset because he was touching and laughing with another girl." Morgan replied. "Oh my. But that doesn't make any sense. Reid doesn't touch nor like touching other people. It's out of his comfort zone to do so." Pen said.

"yeah well, that's what we all knew." Replied Rossi. "I'm gonna go check up on her. I'll be back." Penelope spoke while walking towards the bathroom.

She walked in and found you staring at yourself in the mirror. "Hey hun, Derek told me what happened. Are you okay?" Penelope asked you. "To be honest, I don't know Pen. I mean he was laughing and touching this other woman. He doesn't like touching nor does he like touching other people." You told her while tears started to form.

"I know honey. I know." She replied and hugged you. "I mean. I don't even know why I'm crying, we're not even dating. I don't have a reason to be jealous or upset." You said. "Well, sometimes that's what happens when you love someone alot." She told you.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do Pen. I want to go home." "I know. But, you got this. Just a few more hours and you're going to be able to go home pretty girl." Pen replied to you.

You both walked out the bathroom after you fixed your makeup. “There she is! , Hey beautiful girl, how are you feeling?” Asked Morgan. “Im feeling okay. thank you.” you replied back to him.

“I’m gonna get back to work so, i’ll talk to you guys in a little bit.” You expressed. You felt so overdramatic over something or someone that wasnt thag big of a deal. you just made it seem like it is. atleast thats what it felt like.

you sighed. “okay, time to get back to work.” You started to write on your reports.

“I wonder how shes feeling.” Said Penelope. “Yeah, i mean poor girl, she saw someone she likes be all lovey dovey with someone else.” Replied Emily. “Hopefully she’ll be okay, she’s Y/N, she’s a strong woman.” Stated JJ.

“C’mon we have to get back to work.” Said Morgan. “Yeah, I guess.” They all replied in unison.

"Hey, Where is Y/N?" Reid asked Morgan. "Hey pretty boy. She's at her desk working on reports." Replied Morgan. "Why?" He asked Reid. "I just haven't seen her all day. I wanted to know where she was at." Expressed Reid.

"Alright well, I'm going to head home, it's almost midnight." Said Morgan while he started to pack his things up.

"Alright, Be safe." Reid replied as Derek waved and walked out the double doors.

Hours had passed, and it seemed like everyone had gone home. You were still working on reports that you wanted to finish before you left. "Hey Y/N, everyone's gone home, you should too." You recognized that voice, and you wished you hadn't. "Oh, Hey Reid. I'll go home soon. I still have a few reports to finish and I'm done." You replied.

"Okay, well if you need anything. Let me know." Reid exclaimed. "Okay." That's all you said before you went back to work. You really didn't feel like talking to him.

Another Hour had passed and you were finally done. "Okay, that was the last one." You sighed. You packed up your bags and cleaned up your desk before leaving.

you had finally made it home after such a long day and it was also rainy which, you were not prepared for. “Fucking hell.” You whispered to yourself. “Why does it have to rain on the worst day ever.” you whispered.

you make it into your apartment and lay on the couch. “Leon, where are you-“ There He was. Your little furball on the top of the couch. “Hey,buddy” you spoke while patting him. Leon jumped down and layed on your chest.

What time is it? It was bright outside which was weird because you dont remember it being bright outside.

you checked the time. It was 10:03 AM. “shit!” you yelled to yourself. you were late. really late. you were supposed to clock in 4 hours ago. I guess thats what you get when you leave work late.

you must’ve fallen asleep on the couch because you were still in your work clothes from yesterday morning. “Holy Fuck” you whispered. You put on your shoes and grabbed you things not even thinking about brushing or doing your makeup.

You ran into the office and were gasping. “Sorry im late.” You wheezed out. “Oh my, are you okay?” Asked Pen. “Im fine, im just tired pen.” You replied while walking to your desk. “No no no, lets get you all fixed up honey.” Pen replied while walking you to her batcave.

“We’re going to make you look like no one has ever seen you before.” “Oh, Okay!” You replied happily. you were grateful for having a friend like Penelope. She was your bestfriend.

TO BE CONTINUED…

#artists on tumblr #criminal minds #spencer reid #penelope garcia #writers on tumblr #fbi #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!readr

[kaelidascope]

Dude, I love this fanfic so much! I just wanted to ask where you got the idea from. Did you have any inspiration from anyone? Also, what's your favorite fanfic? And want do you recommend ?

AWE bless!! Thank you so much I'm glad you're enjoying it <33

So actually a good 80% of this is written from personal experience LOL I used to dance and was into drift building/racing in my late teens/early twenties! Most of the references or scenes in Midnight Menagerie are references to things I've seen or done in real life, OR stories friends have told me within the same field. (Nora is literally just a rebranding of this one mutual friend we had who just. Absolutely fucking unhinged) Like for example, the anticipated Hangover Chapter is just a retelling of an insane Summer weekend I had in 2017 ☠️ it's a personal delight being able to translate things into the narrative, even more so knowing people find my stupid, terrible decisions as amusing as I do in current times lol

My general rule of thumb is to write from experience. Things I understand either on a technical point or emotional connection. So, if you've read it in my work, it's probably something I've done LOL

Another reason I find drive in writing this type of narrative is that MM!Blake's type of dissociative PTSD is something I haven't seen much in media in general. I've seen people depict her in various ways (some of them good!), but none of them ever really apply directly to me, so I wanted to make something that I could relate to and how to properly navigate life, given the environmental circumstances. Plus some us need better examples on how to juggle mental illness as adults and also be in healthy long term relationships because damn I have zero reference LOL

For the fic recs, oh boy I have so many LOL time to be a pathetic fangirl on main but okay here's the ones that immediately jump to mind (also heads up most of these are mature or explicit rating);

Certified Kaeli Fresh Fics

Let You See My Wilder Side (If I Can See Your Bones)

We all know this one but it is, hands down, my favorite piece of literature of all time. Masterfully crafted and a timeless classic worth several rereads (and I have. Embarrassingly so)

Written by @/lucytara on tumblr || @/explosive_sky on twitter

honestly all her works are immaculate and beyond compare. Also a major fan of I Have A Bullet With Your Mouth On It (That was first RWBY fanfic I ever read LMAO a friend recommended it to me before I even watched the show) I aspire to write like her some day. It's what got me writing fanfiction in the first place. So, credit goes to Erin for inspiring me to post my manuscripts at all. Words cannot express my gratitude and appreciation. I have two book series in the process of being published now and I wouldn't have had the nerve to do it had it not been for this specific fic.

2. One Day At A Time

Also one of the earlier fics I read before getting into the show LOL I love all of @/Frenchsoda 's work, the full list is also worth checking out. I'm a fan of disgruntled Blake who doesn't understand her attraction to Yang but it's so god damn sweet ugh

3. Fucking In Love

Written by @/Set_WingedWarrior and @/Softlight

This one circulates a lot in my social circles. Everyone I know LOVES this one and after reading it earlier this year, now I see why. As someone who worked in the sex industry for a brief period of time, this one's not only accurate but also A DELIGHT to read. The premise is fun, captivating, and worth the wait. I actually discovered a chapter update earlier this year and sent the gc into hysterics because we thought the fic was dead LMAO props to these authors!! They're doing an amazing job and deserve praise

4. You're A Mountain, Full Of Glory

written by champion author @/lescousinsdangereux

I should just preface already that every book Blake reads in MM is a fanfiction that exists because I love Easter eggs. Everyone knows I had Blake reference this in chapter 3 LOL but it's equally as immaculate as Erin's work. I LOVED especially the dynamic between Weiss, Yang, and Ruby in this one. Baby, we're complicated fucking murdered me 😭 also that fuckass Christmas scene, that's my favorite Christmas song LMAO

5. The Home Inside Your Head

Written by the ever skilled @/writeriguess . I found this fic by accident by seeing fanart for it floating around on this site. Got curious, picked at it, and. Oh, my god. It's not very often my brain gets scratched in the right way, but boy this one does it. This author does something specifically unique I haven't seen many do before, and I applaud them for it. There's great detail on the scenes that matter, and the fucking organic build up between Blake and Yang is just. God. Chef's kiss. Truly. It feels so god damn natural and healthy and it's already crossing off several of my agendas already. Give this one a read and give the author some love. SENSUAL FACE TOUCHING? CHAPTER 13????? BOOOOOOOYYYYYYY I'm normal about it

6. You'd Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You)

Written by @/WabaJaba_ on twitter

Okay so this one's completely different than what I've previously listed but HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS IT A THRILLER. It doesn't nearly have the amount of love and attention it truly deserves. A friend of mine recommended it to me because it shook them so fucking hard they were in total brainrot hell for a MONTH. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY LMAO God I was obsessed with this for weeks myself. It obviously lives up to it's rating, horror fics aren't for everyone. But if you're able to read it, good lord you should. It's chilling, captivating, and had me on the edge of my fucking seat the entire time. Both endings are good, I still can't decide which one I prefer but RAH I will make sure this is seen god dammit

and last but certainly not least

7. You And Me and This Temptation

written by talented author @/ProfessorSpork

Okay this one was an accidental find as well. A friend sent it to me because THEY found it by accident, I clicked on it for later, went looking for a completely different fic that I mistook for this one, started skimming and realized 'wait a minute LMAO I don't recognize this'. But the thing you have to understand is I hate reading. I'm not a reader, I'm picky and it needs to be worth sitting down for long periods of time. This is one of the rare instances where I was so captivated by it I kept reading more and more from the middle where I landed, and eventually just said ykw let me just start from the beginning cus LMAO context.

This one is, by far, one the healthiest and loveliest depictions of first times I have ever seen. This shit was so inspiring to me that it literally kickstarted an essay in someone's DMs why depictions like this are so important. I didn't have this experience irl, and why MM is written the way it is is because its meant to serve as a lighthouse for those who, like me, haven't. This fic however I feel like should be a required read for anyone getting into relationships for the first time because if it's not like how these two interact, LEAVE IT. This is the standard. This is amazingly written, it's the closest I've ever seen canon Yang and Blake be written to date. The fucking souvenir bit 😭 NJKFGNFJKGNGJ killed me, I was kicking my feet laughing for a good minute. This is the kind of standard everyone should look at and go 'yeah, I want what they have' BECAUSE IT'S CORRECT. LOUD CORRECT BUZZER NOISES

Honestly everything in my bookmarks is certified Kaeli Fresh but these 7 are my top faves. They're probably also really commonly known I'm sure but LMAO like I said I don't read much 😭 which is heavily ironic considering I write myself. Anyway this ended up way longer than I intended but LOL <3 <3 go give these incredible authors love!!

#midnightbeesfic #rwby #bumbleby #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #Boy this turned into a massive ramble #I'd directly tag the authors but I'm shy as fuck sorry LMAO #I hope Midnight Menagerie and my other works offer a fraction of respect to the works these authors have produced #Certified Kaeli Fresh works

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday💀

tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @disasterbuckdiaz @hoodie-buck 💖

hi! so, yesterday I randomly opened the doc with the buddie death cast au - which is a fic I started writing last summer on vacation and never got back to it but then made progress lol it's gonna be MCD, which i know is not everyone's thing so feel free to ignore this 🤣 it's basically buddie in the universe of the "they both die at the end"/"the first to die at the end" books so it's gonna be sad, sorry lol (I never even read mcd, idk why i'm writing this but this idea just wants to be written i guess haha) gotta put this weird mood I've been in lately to good use and finally write this 🤣 not sure if I'm happy with this snippet, but it all needs editing, the first two snippets were written on my phone and haven't been edited yet lol

I posted two snippets so far, gonna link them both snippet 1 | snippet 2

___

“Is all of this clear, Eddie?” she asks in the end.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” he says shortly. He should've just hung up immediately. Or cancel this stupid subscription after Shannon died. Sometimes he wonders if maybe people who get the calls and coincidentally get into accidents, for example, just give up and refuse to fight because they think it’s their time. Not like Shannon could do much, her injuries were too severe when they got there, but the point stands. Maybe they get more reckless, thinking it doesn’t matter anyway. 

There’s a short pause on the line, but then Jane speaks up again, her tone softer, more sympathy seeping through.

“I know it’s not easy to accept, if you’d like some help with that, on out website you can find therapists and grief counselors specializing in-”

“Listen.” Eddie interrupts. He’s spent enough time in therapy. He’s not doing it on his supposedly last day. “I know it’s all bullshit. I don’t care. You said what you had to say, I listened, for whatever reason.” he rolls his eyes. He really should’ve hung up, or not answered at all. “Is this conversation over yet?” he asks and is met with another moment of silence. She’s probably wondering what everyone else always is: why is he even spending money on this if he doesn’t believe. He has an answer ready to go, but that’s not what she asks.

“Can I ask you a question?” she says quieter, whispering, probably not allowed to go too much off-script. 

“Sure, why not.” he shrugs. He’s wide awake now, anyway, he’s not in a hurry. Not like he’s dying anytime soon.

“If it was your last day, how would you spend it? You don’t have to answer, just think about it.” she adds quickly, her tone much softer and gentler now. Eddie’s mind immediately supplies a picture of Christopher and Buck, just a casual hang-out, like usual, maybe going to the movies, or the aquarium, or the planetarium, something fun for his kid. And later a gathering with the rest of their family, maybe a barbecue at Bobby and Athena’s, with Maddie and Chim, and Hen and Karen, all their kids, just everyone having fun together. Yeah, that’d be a perfect day. “There’s no harm in spending today just like this, if possible. Just in case.” Jane adds, still whispering. He doesn’t tell her that’s more or less his plan, anyway, for the evening after his 12-hour shift. During which nothing will happen to him, because Death-Cast doesn’t know shit. “Well, lastly, Eddie,” Jane’s voice is back at normal-volume, tone strictly professional but sympathetic, as she recites the end of her script, “on behalf of everyone here at Death-Cast, we’re so sorry to lose you. Live this day to the fullest.”

Eddie hangs up without a word.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @nmcggg @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @king-buckley @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @theotherbuckley @rainbow-nerdss @malewifediaz @giddyupbuck @diazsdimples @jeeyuns @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks

#tease tidbit tuesday #death cast buddie au #buddie wip #buddie fic #buddie #wikiangela writes #my writing #fic snippet #my wips #angst #buddie angst #mcd #i don't know how yet but eddie will die in this one bc apparently ive been in the mood to break my own heart lmao #i wanted to say maybe i'd share smth happier tomorrow but i don't think i have any happy wips im actively working on rn??? #there are happy wips in general but im not really in the mood/inspired for those rn #ran out of happy when i finished the natalia fic i guess lol #who even am i lmao what's with all the angst and sad im usually all about fluff 🤣 #(gonna share some more of alive shannon tomorrow!) #btw if you haven't read the books and have questions hmu but also i'll try to make everything clear in the fic lol #but also SO recommend the books they're so good and so sad and I think about them like at least once a week (the prequel wrecked me)

[thebluestbluewords]

Spike Time! Because I got inspired by this post:

“Question for you, Auradon boy,” Mal demands, thumping her bag down on the lunch table with more aggression than she should probably show at school. “I need info and none of my usual losers are available to get it for me.” 

Doug looks up from his book slowly than is strictly necessary, in Mal’s opinion. It’s not like she’s threatening him, she’s just pursuing an unusual avenue for information. Never mind that she doesn’t actually like Doug, because he’s the most likely source for the info she needs, and she’s going to get it out of somebody one way or another. 

Doug frowns at her. “What do you need?” 

“You’ve been to the city.” Mal says, swinging one leg over the bench so that she’s at least pretending to sit with him. They’re sharing a girlfriend, or whatever, so she can at least try and look friendly. “And you’re like, a nerd about buildings and stuff, right?” 

Doug’s frown crumples into a more puzzled look. “Sure. I wouldn’t call myself a nerd, exactly, but—“ 

“You care about the history of stuff,” Mal interrupts. “Right?” 

“Sure.” 

“So,” Mal starts, and then realizes that the hand she’s got resting on the table is shaking. She clenches it into a fist. She can’t afford to show weakness. “You know why the FUCK there’s spikes and shit all over every fucking flat surface in the city?” 

Doug blinks. “Spikes?”He echoes, sounding puzzled. “The anti-pigeon spikes are only on the top of buildings. They’re a tool the city planners use to keep the streets clean. If the birds can’t land, they can’t leave, ah—droppings. Everywhere.” 

“Bird shit.” Mal repeats, flatly. 

“Yes.” 

“The spikes are for bird shit.” 

Doug squints at her. “Yes,” he says slowly. “They’re designed to keep away birds and other pests. That’s what the city planning guides say.” 

Great. Perfect. 

“And there’s no other reason they might put spikes at ground level,” Mal says, just to be sure that she’s not the one going insane here. “Like, on every flat surface you could possibly want to sit on.” 

Doug shakes his head. “I haven’t actually been to Auradon city since I was a kid. If there's spikes around on ground level, I don't know why they're there." 

Ugh. Typical Auradon kid. They can list off every fact known to man about kingdoms hundreds of miles away, but when you need a tiny piece of information about your own backyard, they come up blank. "But you can look it up, right?" Mal pushes. "In one of your books, or something."

Doug lifts a shoulder. "I guess. Why?" 

Mal grits her teeth. She's been independent since she was old enough to hold a knife. It's galling to need help from any Auradon brat, much less the one that she's lost half of Evie's time to. She's been the one protecting her crew for years, and it's best if she won't let outsiders know the specifics. Injuries are safest when they're secret, when nobody can tell that you're nursing a weak spot-- 

When you know the lay of the land and can keep it hidden until you're healed. When your puncture wounds aren't infected and oozing gods-know-what all over your clothes. When you have the barrer, thrice-cursed thing that it is, keeping you alive even when your body wants to die. 

"We might've-- gotten hurt." Mal admits. "On the spikes. I need to know why they're there, so I can heal the puncture wound and then melt them down to a pulp." 

"Metal turns into smelt," Doug says, and then looks almost horrified with himself. "Not a pulp. Not that it matters. Is Evie hiding a puncture wound?" 

Ah. This is why Evie likes him. 

"No." Mal snaps. 

"Then--?" 

"I have other friends." 

"You don't." Doug points out, eyes big and wide and fully earnest. "And if it's not Evie, then it's one of the other Isle kids. I haven't seen you bleeding on anything lately, not that you'd show me if you were, and--" 

"It's Jay. Happy?" 

"No. Evie hates when people get blood on her clothes." 

"She's not--" Mal sighs. This sort of questioning is exactly why she doesn't trust Auradon kids. With anything. They'll just talk about things, and not get anything useful done. "She doesn't care about the blood right now. I need you to tell me why the spikes are there. Can you handle that?" 

Doug drops his chin into something almost like a determined expression. Mal's more used to seeing the look on the faces of little kids when they're challenging each other to jump off of something that'll definitely break their legs, but that's unmistakably what it is. "Yes. But I want to know why you're asking." 

"I told you already. I'm going to melt them down. It's stupid to put spikes all over the place where perfectly normal people want to be. We can't be the only ones who want to run around the fucking city without pointless spikes getting in the way." 

"You're from the Isle," Doug points out. "I thought you guys were all about pointless spikes." 

"For ourselves, not for the ground. It's stupid to keep them around wherever for no reason." 

"I'll look it up," Doug promises. "Can I report back tonight, or are you flying into the city to melt them before dinner?" 

Mal's face twitches without her consent. Funny. He's funny. "I can wait until after dinner. But come by Evie's room after then. You can report back once we've eaten." 

"Got it. Can I ask one more question?" 

Mal forces a frown. She's got a reputation to uphold. "I suppose." 

"Why are you asking me, and not Lonnie or Ben? You're friends with them, aren't you?" 

Ugh. The real answer is that Lonnie's off campus, and Ben's too busy to worry with a little thing like oozing puncture wounds from spikes in the city that they weren't supposed to be visiting, but Doug's not going to stop if she tells him that. 

"I'm friends with you," Mal lies instead. "Friends ask each other stuff. Normal questions." 

"Like why there's spikes on the ground." 

"Yeah." 

"Lonnie's not here, is she." 

Stupid perceptive boys. 

"She's off campus for a ROAR tournament," Mal admits. "Evie's not mad about the blood because we had to rope her in so she could forge a nurse's note excusing Jay from the tournament for a minor, normal shoulder injury. We need help, and we need in from you, because you're the next in like of people who don't hate us. Are you going to help or not?" 

"Oh, I'm going to help." Doug pushes his glasses up his nose in a way that Mal can only describe as ominous. "But you might not like whatever I find, and you can't rip my head off about it when I tell you what I've found." 

Mal lets her eyes flash green. "Deal," she says, and sticks out a hand. "Fairy's honor." 

#my fic #this is nonsense but I’m having fun #unfortunately this fic is more about the AKs than about Jay’s parkour adventures #which is not where i meant to go lmao