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#(but it's also expensive and time-consuming and there's nothing wrong with it not being a priority in your life)
ioveartfilm · 16 days
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Maneater
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You possess an affinity for wealth, what can you say? You have a passion for spending money on anything that catches your eye. Don’t get me wrong, you’re an independent woman who earns her money on your own with a sustainable career gaining a fair payment. Yet, isn’t enough for you. You wanted more.
So you attend parties whenever your friends extend invitations over the weekend. Dancing the night away and naturally sharing a few kisses with a couple of guys along the way. To be clear, only the ones who are nice enough to hold a conversation and invite you to a drink. When I say “kisses” they are just kisses nothing beyond that. You have to care of yourself first. Well, occasionally. Unless they are worth it.
One evening, at a new expensive club, you lock eyes with the most attractive guy you’ve ever seen. He really was. Fuck. You feared that you may not hold yourself back this time. His hair was a stunning shade of white, complemented by eyes of piercing blue clarity. He wasn’t just attractive; he was absolutely mesmerizing.
“What’s your name, beautiful?” He asked with his charming smile lighting up his face as he stood before you. The night with him passed in a blur, from dancing dangerously close to him to being entirely consumed by his affections in a motel room. His thrusts send you into a dizzying state of euphoria, while your nails are digging into his arms, your moans getting louder with his increasing speed.
“You feel so good, so good. I can’t stop. Please don’t make me stop.” He murmurs incoherent words, as he continues his relentless thrusts, pushing you to your limit. Leaning over, he buried his head into your neck, trapping you beneath his weight, leaving you with no choice but to surrender to him.
He asked for your number afterward, which you find odd the way you gave it to him without hesitation. Soon enough, he started texting you often, becoming a regular presence in your life. You learned he had his own unique sense of humor. He makes you laugh, and you like that. He invited you out, though he didn’t explicitly label it a date. But it definitely had that vibe.
Yup, it was a date.
What you didn’t expect was the place where he took you to; it looked incredibly fancy. How rich is this guy? He paid for both of you. On your second date, he bought you a present. It was a necklace! And its radiance practically shouted luxury. He showered you with nice gifts as if you were his personal to doll to adorn and spoil.
You loved every second of it.
It wasn’t solely the gifts that brought you joy, but also the undivided attention he bestowed upon you. He was a gentleman. Unlike any other guy you dated. But behind closed doors, he unleashes an unrestrained primal energy, leaving you breathless with quivering legs. The way he caresses your breasts with the utmost care, along with how his large hands hold you in place as he drives himself into your body. Whispering words into your ear, things like how your body easily accepted him, how close he felt, by just being inside.
“Give it to me. I can take it.” You whispered imploringly. “If it’s you, I can take it.”
He asked you to be his girlfriend while you were straddling him on his lap, his gaze full of adoration towards you. Obviously, you accepted, how could you not? Over time, you were introduced to his inner circle of friends. There was this guy, named Suguru, Satoru’s best friend and also his childhood friend. Initially, he was wary of you, skeptical about how quickly Satoru made you his girlfriend. Later you learned, that your boyfriend had this crazy ex-girlfriend who left him dry, taking every pen he owned. You can’t deny what drew your attention was his wealth.
You can love him and his wallet.
Five months later, he proposed to you, confessing how he couldn’t live without you. While you imagined the scenario of becoming his wife, dressing nicely for him eagerly awaiting him every day.
“Marry me. I will make sure you get anything you need. I will provide for you and our children. I will make sure you don’t move a single finger.” That idea pleases you deeply.
And there you are, married to Gojo Satoru. One of the wealthiest CEOs, residing in a grand mansion, while raising your two toddlers. Even if one day Satoru decides to divorce you, you would receive 50% of his monthly income.
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All rights reserved © 2024 ioveartfilm. Please do not copy, rewrite, or translate my work on any other platform.
Author’s Note: For all my girlies who wishes for a rich dilf. Including me.
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swmmi-kti · 8 months
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Trophy? Pet or Spouse?
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DNI/BYF
Pairing: Aizetsu x Gn slayer reader
CW/ Summary: Reader is referred to as a pet, Angst. Talk about preparing human meat. (idk dead dove?) Nothing too graphic but reader is also referred to as a trophy.
Demons Don't kidnap at all. They are conniving, cruel, foul and they only ever do things for them. They don't care about anyone else but themselves. Only caring about their next meal. Every creature, simple minded or not, does the things they do for reasons one could never understand. 
And well that’s where you were. You were a slayer. You were a slayer for over two years. And well that had changed.  If it hadn’t been for the simple fact that you had been taken as a prize for a demon. 
You didn’t know how it happened. Really it was anyone's guess. You were fighting one moment and when you suddenly felt your life in danger for the first time. You willingly let yourself be consumed by a demon. 
You were just a slayer. You weren’t going to be able to defeat one of the twelve kizuki let alone upper moon four. 
You were alone when it happened. Fighting with everything you got and were being surrounded by the four clones. You were giving up. Your body was giving up. So you closed your eyes and waited. 
You weren’t winning, you knew your limits.So you waited for a blow, A screech, possibly lightning that immobilized you. But nothing came. So you opened your eyes. Meeting the cool toned blue eyes of sorrow. 
His spear just mear inches away from making contact with you. 
“What the hell is taking so long?” 
At the moment you stopped to accept death it seemed all your energy had left you. It seems You were exhausted. You kept your breathing as calm as you could keep it. But your arms are clearly trembling, your sweating heavily 
And even then it was admirable submitting to someone like Aizetsu. 
He found it beautiful. 
“Aizetsu? Cmon im hungry” 
Now even you were as confused as the other three. Tilting your head to the side as you looked at him. 
“Soo….. is he always like this or?” you asked randomly as if you just had a good spar with a friend of yours. 
The other three didn’t even seem to care that you spoke to them. Only looking at the clone as he flipped his spear down. 
“This one is mine”
.
And well that's how you found yourself now. In a wicked way you were now tied to the demon who spared your life. At the Expense of being his prize. 
You grew to learn that Aizetsu cared for you. But it was more of as if you were just a pretty flower that he found. Maybe some fancy pottery, something other than human. Something like everyday life utilities. 
A pet. 
You wanted to ask for help, Tell someone that you weren't killed in battle. But unfortunately your crow was killed So there you were in this run down shack in the middle of nowhere hoping to have a slayer come by chance. 
If anything you also took up the role of a spouse as well. Aside from nice decoration like how sekido puts it. Aizetsu was rather kind. He wasn’t an angel by any means. But he was gentle with you. And not that he did share you with the rest of them. Or even the main body
But he was soft with you. It made you wonder why. Why exactly were you here and what use are you to him? Were you to be a spouse? A nice little pet or what? 
You wanted to ask exactly what was expected of you. But you feared speaking. Not that He ever gave you any reason to be afraid of him. But it wasn’t your place to speak. Afraid to say all the wrong things, afraid to ask what you were to him. 
Lucky for you he never made you kill for him. Lure food to him whenever he was away from the main body. But he did make you prepare it for him. To his liking. You would often find yourself praying over bits of meat sickened to your core that you, a slayer, were now kept to prepare the very beings you swore to protect. 
Luckily it was just cutting and or making such a nice plate for him, his counterparts or the main body. As when he tried to make you eat or cook it you couldn’t help but cry and throw yourself sick. 
Tonight thankfully he had come back along with the other three. You were thankful and at the same time ready to be yelled at to come along with their plans. However Aizetsu placed his delicate hand on your backside guiding you into the room that was fixed up just for yourself. 
You dreaded ever being in the same room. It seemed that whatever good karma remained speared you ever having to deal with the bad things that come with demons. Aizetsu had told you he never needed sleep. But on days like those many he would lay on your lap looking intently at you making you fidget. 
“Human.. Please sit” 
You listened. In the time you had been kept you never ever could speak to them again. But you just had to ask 
“May..” you watched as the demon jumped a little, startled obviously “May i ask you something?” 
Aizetsu’s gaze lingered as he squinted before sitting down in front of you face to face. No matter how many times you looked at him face, the same shiver ran up your spine. He rose his hand signaling you to continue
“What exactly am i to you?” You questioned “Sekido puts it as nice decor to be your little trophy but you treat me as if i am a dog and then treat me as if im a domestic partner and while i appreciate that you haven’t killed me and actually get me food when i get hungry i must ask what do you want from me?” 
There was silence. And in all the time you’ve been here you have never felt so uncomfortable then now. 
“I had understood that…human spouses are to do what you’ve been doing this entire time. Have i been wrong?” 
You were dumbfounded. You obviously expected the other three to be right about you being just a little treasure for the demon that could not kill you? But a spouse? “I … I mean no but. Spouses speak to each other. They treat each other with love if the circumstances allow it. Usually one isn’t afraid of the other”
Aizetsu looked at you now. His head resting on your lap as it should have been had you not opened your mouth. This time his eyes bore into you. Almost ripping you to shreds. But you couldn’t look away. 
“I’m sorry you fear me. Tell me what is it that i’ve done wrong” 
“You are a demon” 
“Yes”
“And im a human”
“Yes” 
“I think thats very explanatory. I mean i was a slayer before…before this” You gulped down your nerves as you looked at him and asked again. “What is it about me that you find special enough to keep? Im sure you met countless of slayers such as myself”
There was an uncomfortable silence. His hand resting on your cheek as you two continued looking at each other. And there were many many things Aizetsu could tell you about what he liked, or why he kept you. The foolishness of it all to care so much about such a pathetic life of a slayer.  And maybe in due time you could learn to see it all or maybe he could learn to tell you it all. 
But in that moment all his mind and heart could say was 
“You have such wonderful eyes” 
And maybe that was good enough for now.
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claymorexpunisher · 2 years
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Let Me Take Care Of You (18+ Oneshot)
Pairing(s): Roman Reigns/Fem. Reader
Summary: I wish I could say this is hate-to-love but this is more like hate-to-fuck… ☠️ enjoy!
Tags: Oral sex, unprotected sex, bratting, Daddy Kink.
Word Count: 2,910
For most of the match, you had to do the heavy lifting while you were being tossed around like a soccer ball between Baron and Sheamus.
But that wasn’t really the issue. You enjoyed matches like that.
Matches where you had to really pull your weight and you were able to show off just how good you were, and that you could handle yourself.
No, that wasn’t the issue.
The issue was being in close proximity to Roman..
It became even more of an issue as of late because, watching him do the bare minimum and watching him slip into this new persona so easily, made him all the more sexier to you.
He made it work.
And it made certain unwanted feelings come bubbling up onto the surface of your mind.
And you hated yourself for it.
The more time you spent in the company, and the more time you spent around Roman, the harder it was to push down the burning lust that seemed to consume you whenever he was at least within a 50 mile radius.
Little did you know the feeling was completely mutual.
Neither of you wanted to even broach the topic, for different reasons.
Part of it was both of you not wanting to get involved with one another in any way for fear that things could get messy, what with you two being coworkers and whatnot.
Only for you, the feelings that burned inside of you were even more of a reason to want to stay away.
Being a wrestler- a world predominantly run by men and due to certain circumstances in your life, you taught yourself to match their usually strong personalities, so as not to be walked all over.
But around Roman, you couldn’t seem to do that..but he knew.
It’s true that there was no such thing as a picture-perfect Dom, Sub or Switch.
But sometimes...sometimes it was so easy for one or the other to sniff each other out.
To some people, your brash attitude at times said ‘get away from me.’
To Roman, however, it said ‘Try to tame me. I dare you..please.’
Loud and clear.
And if there was one thing that Roman enjoyed more, it was a challenge..
He just hoped to God that he wasn’t wrong.
He wanted nothing more than to bend you at his will, but not at the expense of your boundaries.
He wanted to push a little, but not so much so that it would make things permanently awkward between you two.
He just had this hunch about you that he couldn’t seem to shake.
You thought you hid it well by pretending not to care about anything the man did.
You put on this aloof attitude whenever he so much as looked your way, in hopes that it would spell it out for him.
Keyword being: thought.
‘’Hey,’’ He said to you in that deep voice that instantly made you weak in the knees.
You rested your back against the corridor wall to hold yourself up, but gave him as relaxed a smile as you could.
‘’Hey..’’ You said, looking anywhere but at him.
‘’Ya did good out there..I’m sorry they threw you into the lion’s den like that.’’ He said, sporting a regretful grimace to which you just shook your head.
‘’It’s cool. I can handle myself.’’ You said, shrugging.
You squared your shoulders, now looking right at him.
As much as the praise leaving Roman’s lips made your stomach flutter- much to your annoyance.. the implication that you were a weak little damsel now irritated you more than anything else.
And it seemed like he knew right where your mind went because he shook his head and smiled at you.
‘’I didn’t mean it like that..you did handle yourself. You always do out there. It’s just..2-on-1 isn’t exactly fair but,’’ he shrugged.
‘’When the bossman gets an idea..’’ he trailed off.
‘’He has to get it outta his system- I know.’’ You answered, rolling your shoulders slowly before letting them relax.
‘’It’s cool. We got it done regardless..’’ You also let your words trail off as you watched his eyes drop down to your lips for a second.
You didn’t miss the look of hunger that flashed in his eyes and the action made you stand up straighter and clear your throat.
Suddenly you were anxious to get to your hotel room.
‘’Look, I’m really tired so if you’ll excuse me.. have a good night, Roman.’’ You didn’t let him get a word in before you scrambled into your locker room, took a shower, changed and left for the hotel under record time.
—————
The second you got to your hotel room, you stripped down to your pj’s and bundled yourself under the covers.
You laid there staring up at the ceiling, unable to get to sleep.
Without even realizing it, your mind was filled with thoughts of Roman..
Of his toned and tattoo covered arms..of his large yet beautifully slender hands..hands you wanted buried in your long hair, or wrapped around your throat..or both.
Holding onto those thoughts, your own hands started to roam your body.
You purposefully didn’t go near your pussy even though it was throbbing.
Letting yourself go there made you feel like he was winning.
And even though he wasn’t in the room with you, you still felt like being defiant in some way or another.
This hold he seemed to have on you practically drove you insane.
But it seemed like no matter how much you tried that night, he would win anyway.
As your thoughts got filthier and filthier, you heard a voice in the back of your mind whisper ‘do it. Touch yourself for me, babygirl. You know you want to..’ it seemed to taunt.
And so, you did…
You thought to yourself, ‘It’s not like anyone can see me. I’ll let him win..just this once.’
Just as your back arched off the bed as the pad of your index finger slowly worked your clit over your panties, you heard a knock at your door.
‘’Fuck’s sake..’’ You mumbled to yourself.
You had half a mind to let whoever was at your door continue knocking until they decided to give up and leave. But after the third knock, you heaved a sigh and got up to answer it.
Before you opened the door, you looked down at your pj’s which consisted of a long black tshirt, panties..and nothing else.
Any other time, you’d be scrambling to look more presentable.
But seeing that it was pushing 1am, you decided that whoever was on the other side was just gonna have to deal with it.
‘’Wha-..oh. Hey, Champ,’’ You practically sighed before you could stop yourself.
‘Dammit, get it together!’ You mentally snapped.
You must’ve not hid your frustration very well because, Roman held his hands out in a placating manner thinking you were upset with him.
Deciding to hold onto that, you raised a single brow, not letting him get a word in.
‘’Forgive me for not looking very presentable, Champ. I wasn’t exactly expecting visitors.’’ You quipped sarcastically.
‘’I wasn’t going to come by this late actually but..’’ Roman shook his head.
‘’Look, don’t be mad at her, but Carmella gave me your room number.. I figured this couldn’t wait. Can I come in?’’ He asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.
As he stood there in those grey sweats and a black tank top that hugged the contours of his lean body, your mouth watered at how he made such a simple wardrobe look so..sinful.
And so, against your better judgement, you nodded and stepped aside to let him into your room, watching him sit at the foot of your bed.
To put some distance between the two of you, you moved toward the mini fridge.
‘’Want something to drink?’’ You asked him, watching his eyes slowly sweep up and down your body until they once again came to rest on your face.
‘’Nah, ‘m alright..was I interrupting anything? Did I wake you?’’ He asked, squinting as he took in the sight of your flushed cheeks and slightly disheveled hair.
Instinctively, you brushed a hand through your hair, trying to keep the movement casual, but the second his eyes started to light up, you knew it was no use.
Still, ‘stubborn’ seemed to be your middle name.
‘’No. I was just watching some Netflix..’’ You lied, hoping that he’d accept that, even though the tv was very clearly off and there were no devices near to vouch for you, not even your phone.
Roman chuckled, standing up and coming closer to you now.
You heard him take a deep breath and give a quick shake of his head as if steeling himself for what he was about to do.
‘’You think I’ve never dealt with..brats like you?’’ Roman murmured.
His eyes lit up in satisfaction at how easily you went as he rested one of his large hands on your hip and brought you closer.
‘’Watch it,’’ You warned, glaring daggers at him as soon as the word ‘’brat’’ came out of his mouth.
But Roman just chuckled again, looking down at you as he practically towered over you.
It was in that moment that he really knew his suspicions were correct.
He knew you’d give him a run for his money if you really wanted him away from you.
‘’Look. I don’t usually beat around the bush. Not as much as we both have as of late. So..I’m gonna ask you another question, and I want an answer..’’
You felt your pulse quicken as he got impossibly closer.
His mouth hovered over your neck, right by your ear and you struggled not to nuzzle into him.
When his hand came to rest on the side of your neck, your knees nearly buckled.
‘’Were you touching yourself before I knocked?’’ Roman asked.
The sound of his low voice, coupled with his hot breath warming the skin of your neck made you shudder in pleasure before you could stop it.
‘’N-‘’ you started to say, only to feel his hand tighten slightly against your neck.
‘’Don’t lie to me, babygirl..’’ He purred, his tone becoming dangerously low.
And there it was.
The second the pet name fell from his lips you felt your resolve slowly begin to melt.
‘’Don’t call me that..’’ You whined softly, giving his chest a half hearted push that barely moved him.
‘’Answer the fuckin question.’’ He snapped, bringing his free hand up to your hair to grip it firmly.
Your eyes nearly rolled into the back of your head as he did so, feeling the tug against your hair go straight down to your clit.
Before you knew it, Roman had moved both of you and you sat on the vanity of your hotel room, with your back pressed against the mirror and Roman standing between your legs.
‘’Yes!’’ You blurted out.
But not wanting to let go entirely just yet, you quickly resorted to downplaying the effect he so obviously had on you all over again.
‘’But you had nothing to do with it.’’ You glared at him as he brought his eyes down to look into yours.
‘’Oh really.’’ Roman responded, placing an expression of surprise on his face and he nodded when you let out a soft ‘mhm’ in response.
He knew you were full of shit but he was enjoying himself immensely regardless.
Deciding to humor you for a bit, Roman smirked and tilted his head curiously all while reaching underneath your massive tshirt and sliding his hands inside to play with your breasts.
‘’So what were you thinking about, then?’’ He asked, still smirking in amusement when you just leaned into his touch, your mouth hanging open slightly in pleasure.
‘’….Drew.’’ You replied with a defiant smirk, but it quickly dropped as he tweaked one of your hardened nipples sharply.
‘’..Alright..and what was..Drew doing to you?’’ Roman murmured, leaning down for a languid kiss before letting you answer.
His hands continued to fondle your breasts.
You smiled, letting your eyes flutter shut to go back to the fantasyland you had carefully crafted for yourself before the man featured in it came knocking at your door.
‘’Y-..he was..he was eating me out..’’ You said, biting your lip as you said the words.
Your eyes still closed, you heard Roman softly hum as he took in your reply.
You couldn’t help but moan softly as his large hands traveled from your breasts down to your hips, and he hiked up your large T-Shirt to expose your panties.
‘’How did he do it?’’ Roman asked.
Your heart started to pound as your soaked panties were slowly pushed to the side and your sensitive pussy was exposed to Roman.
Little goosebumps rose onto your skin as you tried to stay immersed in your fake fantasy, so as not to sell yourself out to Roman, even though both of you knew you were lying through your teeth.
‘’Did he do it nice and slow?..’’ He asked, chuckling soon after.
‘’You don’t seem like you have the patience for nice and slow..’’
You were just about to answer when you felt the warm swipe of Roman’s velvety soft tongue against your slit, making you gasp both in pleasure and surprise.
‘’Shit..!’’ You moaned, much to Roman’s delight.
‘’Oh so you do like it nice and slow.. you need that, don’t you?’’ He purred, lapping at your wet folds in between his words.
‘’You’re always so..fiery..And in control.’’ He mused.
‘’You need to relax, baby.. Lemme me take care of you..’’
To punctuate his words, his mouth closed around your clit and sucked on it, swirling his tongue in between.
You hadn’t even heard him shuffle around and drop to his knees and the sudden pleasure left your brain hazy.
But still you encouraged him by slowly snaking your hands onto his scalp and tugging on his dark hair.
Your thighs trembled as he chuckled against your pussy in response.
‘’That’s really helping me relax.’’ You said in a rush, leaning your head back against the vanity mirror as the pleasure overwhelmed you.
‘’Good.. get up.’’ He suddenly commanded, sliding your panties off all the way as soon as you did as you were told and made you face the mirror, your palms flat on the wooden surface.
‘’..Do you want this?’’ He asked, searching your eyes through the mirror and waiting for your nod of approval.
When you gave it, he pulled down his sweats and your head started swimming again as he thrusted into you.
‘’Look at me,’’ Roman grunted, gripping the hair at the base of your head and making you look at him through the vanity mirror as your body bounced with every thrust of his hips.
‘’Look at me- is this what you wanted? Is this what you were asking for?’’ Roman asked in between grunts of pleasure.
The way his jaw clenched as he pounded into you made the walls of your pussy clench around his cock.
He watched you nod quickly while your mouth opened in a silent moan the second he nudged against your sweet spot.
You could barely think and the only thing that brought you back down to earth is the moment he tugged on your hair firmly, posing the question again.‘’
Answer me, babygirl.’’ He ordered.
‘‘This what you wanted? Huh?..for me to fuck the brat outta you?’’
Your head began to spin as your orgasm approached quickly but still, you managed to answer him, letting out a small yelp as his hand came down against your ass with a loud and resounding crack.
‘’Yes, Daddy! I needed it!’’ You whimpered.
The words tumbled out of your mouth before you even realized just what you had uttered, and you felt his hips slightly falter before picking up their pace once again.
‘’That’s a good girl..’’ Roman purred, making you groan at the words of praise.
‘’Harder, Daddy..please.’’ You begged, half expecting him not to comply, but you saw stars as his thrusts picked up speed.
Still, you flashed him a pleased smirk through the mirror.
‘’You like it when I call you that, huh?’’ You giggled, grunting as his hand cracked down on your ass again, making your pleasure double.
‘’Do it again.’’ He commanded.
‘’Daddy..’’ You murmured, gasping as he suddenly pulled out, fully took off his sweats and his shoes, and brought you to the bed.
Your breath was taken away as he thrusted into your once again as you laid on your back on the soft hotel room sheets.
With your legs hoisted upon Roman’s shoulders you felt every inch of him and your entire body felt like it was humming and filled with electricity all at once.
‘Ayo, UCE! CUT THE NOISE, MAN! WE’RE TRYNA SLEEP!’ You heard from the room next door.
‘’Oh my god. Is that Jimmy?!’’ You asked, slightly horrified at the thought of Roman’s cousin hearing the two of you.
But that feeling quickly went away as he hushed you, and made you come undone for the rest of the night.
The two of you had a wonderful evening and even better night’s rest..
Jimmy and Naomi? Not so much…
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danmeiconfession · 2 months
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reply to: /739334052652400640/sy-isnt-and-introvert-nor-is-he-lazy-and-im-done
but shen yuan is lazy and there is nothing wrong with it
he has only become a teacher because he was put into a body that already is a teacher. and we only see him teach one disciple at one occasion, that being binghe. so we have no textual evidence that he actually taught anyone that much and didn't just leave it to the hallmasters. meaning we don't know if he actually loves it or if he just did it because it was the job he got assigned to. but he for sure never chose the job, it just came with the body
however we do have evidence that binghe did basically all of his peak lord work, as shen yuan is unable to even tell ming fan were to put stuff as binghe always did everything for him including his paperwork. example when binghe made the participation list for the iac when that was very much the job of the shizun and not the youngest disciple
also if he isn't lazy why was he a neet in his former life? he was a healthy young man who got a degree at a good university. but because he didn't have to work, as his wealthy family paid for all of his living expenses, he did not work or go out by his own account but was just wasting the days away. because that can not be an unreliable narration on his part, as he can't misinterpret basic things he is physically doing or not doing
and him complaining that he can't go outside can be purely because he is bored from being from modern times, where he had spend all of his time on the computer for entertainment which made him "spoiled" for the lack of a better word. however he is in ancient china where he has no access to any of the quick entertainment he usually consumed to keep boredom away. while however the world outside is a fantasy nerd's wet dream. i'm a huge introverted couch potato and only go out when i have to, but even i would refuse to stay indoors if i were in magical fantasy world full of cool monsters and magic
although i do agree that is not a huge introvert, as he does seem to enjoy spending time with people. but he is a lazy person and again that is nothing bad
.
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brujitaadinbo · 3 months
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They say that love manifests itself as if it were fire, like flames burning you, like something that leaves you breathless, I and others can say the opposite; It manifests itself to each person differently; But when we talk about love in general, the healthiest, the best way we can live it is when it gives us that calm in times of storm, when it gives us tranquility and not anxiety and makes us feel comforted.
Love, affection or that feeling that begins to be born in you and that sometimes you cannot show it, because of your past wounds, for fear of being rejected, because you are just beginning to connect with that other person, etc… You begin to show it in a way in which the majority can label it as something "not romantic" because society is still locked in that cliche that is sometimes very toxic and very unreal. Sometimes it is not necessary to wear flowers and exaggerated decorations, , expensive details or that very typical scene that sometimes tends to handle sometimes very cold or very superficial kisses. Most of the time your actions and your words are what demonstrate your deepest feelings and your most intimate emotions. How much you care about that person and you begin to be consistent with what you think and feel and what you do for them and you show it like this.
I will explain this to you first, so that you can understand the context of this analysis dynamic that I am going to start uploading here. Very iconic couples, famous in pop culture around the world, being known in many places, through movies, series, books, etc… managing this dynamic that I explain to them and managing the deepest feelings like love, that way. different way that sometimes people don't usually understand or it bores them and they begin to disqualify it as "there is nothing between them" when in reality there is something there and they are wrong! It suddenly becomes canon…
Coincidentally like what has been happening with Din Djarin and Bo katan Kryze, yes coincidentally… aha (remember well what I tell you, coincidences do not exist here)
For me Faramir and Eowyn are a beautiful couple and one of my favorites in books and movies, I am a fan of Tolkien and the Lord of the Rings is… poetry, love, magic, so much that I can't explain it in words. And definitely if you have read Faramir and Eowyn's interaction in the book, you will understand my point, since in the movies, that interaction was so short but it was still a very nice reflection of the book.
The parallel between them and Din and Bo is that these characters find themselves in a critical situation, surrounded by war, conflict, pain, wounds from the past, an uncertain future, everything is against them and love is a word and a feeling that It cannot cross your mind even for a moment.
Eowyn, a warrior princess full of pain from rejection, from loss, because the war has consumed her innocence and that hunger for battle has consumed her. Bo Katan is a warrior princess consumed by the pain of loss, because the war has subjected her to living a cold life without hope for anything, because her proposal was taken away by a sword, where all her value is measured by that.
Faramir rejected by his father, having the position he has, yet he is seen as nothing by him, not meeting the standards he has and not being able to be like his brother, always living with that feeling and now the pain that he lost him in a battle where he also lost his hometown. Din Djarin lives with the pain of having lost his parents, he lives with people unknown to him, trying by all means to fit in and be recognized by this new tribe, his family that has welcomed him all this time. Live this way or survive under this creed.
Both couples in the depths of their lives, when they are hitting rock bottom or when they begin to experience a new way of redeeming themselves, cross their paths, with pain but with that hope of being able to heal and flourish again, that is when love, too, something that could not be in their lives suddenly becomes like a vitamin that gives them the strength to take that first step.
Faramir and Eowyn in the healing temples, healing and realizing that maybe the pain was just part of that growth and that process to find healing and start living a different life, if all goes well, living outside of war , from sadness and everything that hurts them, they allow themselves to get to know each other, interact and at the end of the day they manage to love each other and live a happy life within their possibilities, because in this work good triumphed over evil.
Din and Bo are in this process of achieving their purposes, suddenly they come together, they visit Mandalore, they visit the living waters, they somehow manage to redeem themselves, they work together, in the hope of recovering their planet and achieving this new purpose, of reclaiming to their people and their planet and in the process, they resolve their differences, their bond grows and becomes more intimate. From pain a new hope is born, it is part of growth, they accept it, they know that their paths were wrong and by agreeing and doing it together they feel comfortable and know that they are doing it right, they both protect each other in a very bilateral and synchronized way. . . and it is seen that there is something more, because in the end they do not know and we do not know what can happen, there is still the doubt of who will win in this battle. Hoping, of course, that that balance is achieved and by this I mean that good definitively triumphs over evil.
And what I love is that Filoni has worked on symbolism from Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings and especially Peter Jackson. Faramir and Eowyn are a couple who never showed a kiss on stage, but their looks, their approach, their words, their actions, said it all. In the books, the way they love each other is shown in how they talk and interact, Faramir's words to Eowyn are very beautiful. It reminds me of a certain Mandalorian couple, casual (lol) where their interaction and attraction is unspoken, visible but hidden in elements like body and non-verbal language and those words of the oath, that is definitely the moment for these two. But now time is what will write the last part of his paths. Let's hope it's a journey together too,
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stuckinapril · 8 months
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what does it say about me that i have intense crushes on people and i spend nearly 24/7 thinking about them in my maladaptive daydreams but the thought of actually being with them turns me off because then i can't romanticize it anymore and i'm afraid i'll get bored of them
It’s bc you don’t really like them!! I’ve been there so many times. You are just attracted to the fantasy version of them, that will fill a void in you you’re not consciously aware of. I wasn’t either, but after I got over my boy-crazy phase it became easier to dissect these toxic patterns. Whenever i intensely start crushing on a guy, my thought process is always along the lines of “man he’s so cute, he’s so funny, he’s so smart. He would add so much value to my life. I need him to like me back” and the deep-rooted issue behind that is I think I don’t add enough value to my life as is. Maybe I need to be validated by this cute guy, maybe I think he’s funny and I wouldn’t be able to engage myself the way he engages me, maybe I think he’s smarter than me, etc.
You’re essentially abandoning yourself by obsessing over somebody else. You’re telling yourself, every minute you continue to fantasize about your crush, that they’re more worthy of your attention than you are of yours. And that’s when you need to step back & evaluate why exactly you feel this way.
Also ask yourself: is it fair to feel like I can use this person to feel exciting emotions, then just move on? Have I checked to make sure this person is okay w it? Are we both simply looking for an experience, or is it just me? If the answer is that’s not something they’d be into, it’s not fair to try to fulfill such wants at the expense of someone who might want something serious. People are more than just the emotions they could provide you.
It’s okay to feel giddy & daydream about a crush. The problem comes in when it consumes you entirely. When that happened, I tried to address my deficiencies by myself: I’d take myself on a nice solo date, buy myself flowers, get in touch w friends and hobbies… You have to remind yourself you’re also a wholeass person, and you also deserve your own attention & care. There’s literally nothing in this world anyone can do for you that you can’t do for yourself. It all starts w you. There’s nothing wrong w wanting a partner in life, but the key is you want them—you don’t need them.
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Monthly special: Variable Barricade crossover!
Phew I managed to get it done before the end of the month! I'm so sorry that it took much longer than usual (even though this chapter so far is the shortest).
If you want to join the taglist just send an ask or dm me!
Reader here is female and has established background.
Cw: Age gap (Reader is 18 and the ladies are ages 20-24)
|First chapter|
<= Previous chapter | Next chapter =>
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After the interviews you had some ideas as to who you'd be dealing with. But with how stressed you were you were promised a picnic. Simple little house party. There isn't a lot that could go wrong… 
But somehow everything went wrong.
Part one: Chapter 3- Picnic panic!
Today was your first weekend in the house. It was much more lively than when you came back from school, but perhaps the picnic was the main factor for it. You were now in your room, waiting for the preparations to be completed. 
"Ugh I can't stand this!" you couldn't just sit here and wait. You had to do something. Maybe you could just keep an eye on things out there? Yeah… That sounded like a good idea. 
You walk downstairs and see how busy things are. It made you feel guilty for staying in for so long. 
"Things aren't exactly ready yet, we'll call you once everything's settled" Yelan approached you before you could decide where you'd go. 
"I know, but I wanted to check if everything is going well, am I not allowed to?" you were done being told what to do. 
"Not at all. I just thought you'd rather it to be a surprise" she said calmly, but you only rolled your eyes at the notion that yet again someone assumes what's best for you. 
"I don't think it'll matter much if I see the preparations or not. Speaking of which, what are you taking care of?" you tilt your head. 
"Both Ningguang and Miko seem to keep forgetting what exactly they need. So I'm stuck going back and forth to the store" she looks like she got an idea for something "Come with me" although you wanted to protest, you follow her. 
Entering the garage your attention shifts to one thing and that's precisely what Yelan wanted you to look at by the looks of it "How could you afford such an expensive motorcycle?" is the first question you had in mind. 
"It was here when we first moved in and I was told we're allowed to use it so that's exactly what I'm doing" she explained. You wondered why your family would decide to waste their money like that but it wasn't like Yelan specifically asked for it… Unless she's lying which you can't really rule out. 
As you look closely at it she smiles "Would you like to go on a ride?" at first you wanted to agree… But you couldn't afford to get excited so easily about it! Not only that you'd only set her back from her part of the preparations "Thank you for the offer, but I refuse"
"If the time concerns you, don't worry about it" she walked towards a shelf and took out a helmet "But if you really don't want to go for it, how about just taking a seat for a moment? Don't deny it, I see that you want to do at least that" she sounded rather encouraging. 
"Alright… I suppose sitting won't really be time consuming" you walk to the motorcycle and settle in. 
"Do you want to try on the helmet too?" she walks closer to you and when you're close enough you nod. Of course it's just so you can feel the full experience… Nothing more nothing less… 
At first it feels a little uncomfortable but you slowly get used to it "It suits you well. Maybe you'll give my offer another thought?" she leans against the garage door as she looks at you. 
You consider your options… 
|"Maybe some other time" (Romance)|
"We can do it later… I know time isn't an issue right now but considering that we have only one helmet available we should go once we bought a second one" besides you'll have to mentally prepare yourself before you let her drive you around. Not only you'd be close… You'd also have to trust her to drive safely. 
"Fair point. We could go and buy you your own one and call it a date" she chuckles "I'm kidding of course, but I will accompany you if you'd like" 
"Then I'll let you know when I'd like to go" you knew that out of these women Yelan seemed like the most patient one, and like the one who'd actually listen to your boundary. She took a hint and nods "No pressure. I know that you can get quite busy so I don't mind waiting" she made up an excuse for you without having to say that you're nervous.
You smile at each other and as you're about to get off the motorcycle you hand her the helmet she gave you. 
|"Don't you have work to do?" (Reason)|
"While I don't deny it sounds tempting, you should focus on your task. Having a tendency to slack off doesn't really show you in a good light" you get off the motorcycle and give her back her helmet "It's nice that you'd like to give me an opportunity to experience something new, but considering asking once you're free of your responsibilities" your voice wasn't exactly harsh, but Yelan looked a little disappointed "Alright then, I'll be sure to use your advice in the future" 
-----
She puts on her helmet and takes a backpack that was on the floor by the garage door "Well I'm off then. What would we do without…" she takes a glance at her shopping list "scented candles? I thought I got enough of them by now" she sighed, knowing that it's better to not question whatever she got written down. 
After leaving the garage you immediately bump into Eula "Weren't you supposed to be upstairs? We aren't ready yet" she takes a moment to realize where you came from in the first place "Ah, so it was Yelan that dragged you out? I should've guessed. That slimy-" 
"Just what is that supposed to mean? Aren't I allowed to walk outside of my room?" you raise your eyebrow.
"Of course you are, but at the same time she should focus on her tasks rather than take up your time" she paused "And that's why I'm going to leave now" 
She immediately turns and tries to walk off but you follow her "Can you tell me what you are in charge of?" 
"I've set up the table, brought the chairs and the food. Not everything is ready but I just make sure Thoma and Miko have the space in the kitchen. Right now I'm going to pick some flowers because Ningguang needs them for decoration. After Yelan gets back I'll help her carry the groceries" she didn't stop walking as she explained everything to you. Entering the backyard you notice the picnic table out of it's usual place you've seen it at. 
"Ningguang had some weird vision for how everything should look…" she says when she sees your attention on the table "I won't even bother telling you how many times I had to move it" she says irritated. 
"But you still got it done, and it looks like you didn't get too tired from it either" you pointed out. 
"That's true" she seemed to appreciate your words. She knelt down in front of a rose bush and took out sheers from the basket. You got down on her level as well and watched her work. 
|Keep staring (Romance)|
As she picked the roses there was silence between you. You could only hear stems snapping along to the sound of bush rustling. You notice how focused she was and she avoided any eye contact with you. 
"Hmpf, at least you'd offer to help me out" she turned to you "But I suppose I can't let your ever so delicate hands get cut" although her voice was mocking, as soon as her hands held up yours you could see her blushing… But you really can't tell if you aren't blushing either… 
"I can't really help you pick the roses, I don't have the tools. And you're right, I rather avoid injuring myself when I can help it" you answer so calmly Eula didn't know how to respond. 
"If you don't want me here I can go you know" you didn't have to take her attitude.
"It'll be for the best. You won't distract me that way" as you look back at your hands, she stops holding onto them and looks at the basket. 
|"Why do you agree to all this?" (Reason)|
"I was wondering…" you start a thought "But why exactly did you agree to do most of the work? From what I hear you just do whatever to make the other three's work easier" and with how they all go about it, for Eula it must be quite the hassle. 
"Don't think about it too much. I just happened to be the only one who can get things done right around here without any help. Me fixing up other's poor planning is what keeps everything organized" she sighed as she recalled how things looked like when everything got started. Then, she looked back at the basket. 
-----
"I'll have to check with Ningguang if this is enough" she stands up and offers you her hand to pull you up. After that her phone rings and she picks it up "Mhm, I'll be there in a minute" she rolls her eyes "Change of plans… Could you bring these to Ningguang? Yelan once again bought too much for one go and can't bring it over here" 
"Alright, but how do you plan to get to the shop?" if Yelan used a motorcycle it should be far enough. At least that's your guess. 
"For me this is but a mere quick jog" she shrugged "I might even get back before Yelan does" 
"Oh… I see. I'll see you later then" that was surprising… then again you have no way of confirming it. 
Regardless, after Eula left you thought about looking for Ningguang but before you know it she enters the backyard with a bunch of plates. She approached you immediately after placing them down and noticed the basket of roses "Eula picked these, but she had to go. She wanted me to ask you if this is enough" you said before she got any weird ideas. 
"That's the exact amount" she smiled satisfied as she put them in a vase. 
"You have quite the eye to be able to tell just by one glance" judging by what you know about her so far, you wouldn't be surprised if she told Eula how many she needed. 
"I always pay attention to detail, so I suppose my eyes are just trained for such a thing" she adjusted the roses so they were set perfectly "But that it's not much to be impressed by, at least not in this case" 
"I know, but I like to give credit where it's due" you look around "Besides, I suppose I'm just finding a way to fill in a conversation. It doesn't make my comment any less true though" 
"Oh? So you'd like to chat more?" she was surprised, given how you feel about the whole situation. 
|"During the interview…" (Romance)|
"I'm still curious about the questions you wanted to ask me, you mentioned they were suitable for a casual conversation, so I'm trying to give you the opportunity to ask away" you mean nothing else. 
"Hm, I see. Well this isn't the exact question but it's related, what are you personally looking for in a possible wife?" she doesn't seem to want to change her behavior depending on your answer. So you weren't sure what the purpose of it was. 
"I don't really have anything too specific. I just wish for a woman who wouldn't put shame to the family name I suppose" you weren't really prepared for it. And you didn't want to let awkward silence take control so instead you chose to answer quickly. 
"How professional" she seemed to like your response "But try to respond to this question as Y/N, not as an L/N heir" now that was a follow up you didn't expect… 
"Well… I… I don't have a lot of experience with relationships… so I didn't have the time to figure out what I want in that sense" it was embarrassing to admit, but it's not like it was a secret to anyone. 
"Okay, but once you find the answer, mind sharing it with me?" her captivating eyes… You can almost feel them staring into your soul. 
"I'll think about it" you look away blushing. 
|"Don't think too much of it" (Reason)|
"Isn't it basic politeness to not let this conversation die right away?" you say bluntly. 
"You're right, it would be a shame if I lost the opportunity to speak to you alone" she nodded "I should be the one fighting for it"
"It’s alright, you don’t need to fight for anything. I just wanted this to be less awkward” but now you know that it had the opposite result. 
“I’m aware, I just feel like I need to treasure each moment we get to ourselves” speaking with her usual confidence, she made it clear to you that there is no point in discussing the issue further. 
-----
"Y/N, my lady I didn't expect you to be here" both you and Ningguang turn and see Thoma bringing "some" dishes to the table "Well, everything is almost ready anyways so I was about to call you. Since miss Yae wanted to see you before we get started" 
You could see how disappointed Ningguang was that you were about to leave. But you didn't have any reason to stay. 
-
With Thoma, you walk back to the kitchen where Miko clearly was waiting "You got here quicker than I expected, were you really so eager to see me?" while there was a lot of things going on in the kitchen, you noticed that Miko only glanced over at what needed to be done and told Thoma to act accordingly. 
"So Thoma is actually in charge of the cooking?" you point out. 
"I give him directions, and I must say he follows them perfectly" she looked definitely impressed, and Thoma looked happy to have his skills appreciated. 
"I see, so why did you call me?" you stay on guard. You remember the promise you made yourself to not let her tease you, so you must watch out for your reaction. 
"Oh it's simple really, I only wish for you to taste one thing. It's for dessert so I'd like your opinion on it" she smirked "Go on, close your eyes"
|Comply (Romance)|
"This is ridiculous…" you think out loud but you close your eyes regardless. 
"Good girl" she teasingly says before she takes out the food "Say aah" you only open your mouth to that comment, but you could feel your cheeks getting a little hot. 
After she gave you the food you tried to get this over with as soon as you can. But even though you couldn't see it you could feel your heart skip a beat as she fed you something you quickly recognized as cake. 
"Aren't you going to compliment my baking?" her question surprised you. 
"Wasn't Thoma doing everything just now? I find it hard to believe you did anything yourself, much something as tasty" if she wasn't so proud about taking advantage of Thoma you probably wouldn't be surprised to hear that she made it. 
“Hmpf, if you say it like that then I’ll make sure of it that this cake won’t be served to you” she pouted.
“Wait-” you stopped, it was probably just the thing she wanted to hear. You being desperate for her sweets… You cleared your throat “What I meant was that I-” you tried to explain yourself but Miko cut you off with a smug smile “It’s alright, you needn’t explain yourself to me” she won. And she knew that. 
|"I can feed myself" (Reason)|
"We don't need to play these games I'm more than capable of feeding myself" you promised not to let her tease you and it was a situation that'd take a turn before you knew it. So there was no way you were going to even give her the opportunity. 
"I know that. I just thought it would be more fun that way… But I understand that I can't force you to amuse me…such a shame" she sighed, but she still served you the cake. You didn't let yourself be overwhelmed by its taste but you smiled "I approve of this. It's well made" 
"That's great to know, I may bake this again for you in the future if you'd like" it sounded like she wanted to add some condition to it, so you stopped yourself from responding right away. 
"Hmpf, I see how it is" she sounded offended. 
-----
"Looks like you're getting quite cozy" you turn around and see the rest of the girls. The one who made that comment was none other than Ningguang. 
"What brings you here? Is everything ready on your part?" Thoma asked as he finished cooking. 
"Dear, looks like we're in for a big feast… I know that I bought most of the ingredients but still seeing all this food is a surprise to me" Yelan looked around the kitchen. 
"And it's not even everything, there is some food set on the table already" Eula added "You really didn't have to make this amount of food" she glared at Miko. 
"I only wanted to make sure that Y/N has a variety of foods she could enjoy, and since I don't know her tastes yet I just had Thoma prepare as much food as possible" she defended herself, although it looked more like she just enjoyed ordering Thoma around and lost track of the food. 
"If that's what you wanted to know you should've just asked…" he sounded a little exhausted. 
"Well, it doesn't matter. Let's go" she shrugged it off as she was the first one to go towards the backyard. 
Yelan, Eula and Thoma took the rest of the food and so you and Ningguang ended up following behind the group. 
-
"Alright, where will you sit Y/N?" Thoma's question led to some tension. You could see how they were ready to fight to either sit next to you. You finally were about to look forward to spend time with them all but if you were going to hear them go back and forth you swear you're going to go back to your room. 
But before any fight broke out Eula spoke up "Let's use Yelan's method and roll dice for who gets to sit next to Y/N" they were surprisingly all down for it. 
It turned out that next to you was Yelan on your left and Ningguang on your right, Miko had her seat on the opposite side of yours and Eula… Was the furthest from you. It was definitely unfortunate that her idea got her the worst seat… wait why do you feel bad? It's not like you wanted her to sit next to you to begin with. 
Besides that problem everything was going smoothly. You actually had a lot of fun for once. Things just were so casual you almost forgot these women are interested in you. 
Then you heard barking. 
"Huh? What was that?" you turn your head and see your neighbor's dog who definitely was interested in the food you had. 
"Oh- It seems like I forgot to lock the gates when I came back on my last shopping tour" Yelan admitted. It didn't make the situation calm down though. 
The dog for some reason was going crazy over the smell and when it tried to grab something Eula stopped it "Not on my watch!" and she ended up chasing after it in order to catch it. 
"This will leave such a mess" Ningguang said with a sad look on her face when Eula's chase started to mess up her decorations. 
Seeing how Eula hasn't gotten it done yet, Yelan joined the chase and tried to stop Eula from doing any further damage. Which greatly annoyed her "I can handle this!" she yelled "Yeah I can see" Yelan answered sarcastically. 
You, Thoma, Miko and Ningguang were still sitting by the table watching it all unfold. When the dog ran under the table without thinking Eula followed and when she stood from her semi cowling she accidentally flipped the table. But the real issue wasn't the mess. It was the candles. You didn't have the time to pick them up, and it seems like all of them weren't put out by the impact… Because next thing you know… You see a fire. 
Thoma immediately took your hand and escorted you back to the house. But you still could see from the window how things unfolded. 
You were in utter shock to see how they somehow managed to make everything even worse than it already was. Yelan made Eula trip. Miko tried to put out the fire with something but it only made the flames go higher… So your guess is that she used alcohol. Ningguang looked completely lost as to what to do as she tried to limit the spread of the fire and Thoma was going from one place to another trying to fix literally anything.
-
You were once again locked in your room. This mess just made you feel like you were in some sort of circus. To make it worse, you're supposed to be a bride for one of the clowns!
You were aware that they tried the best they could but the outcome was so disastrous you have no idea what to think. Thankfully the damage wasn't too bad and nobody got hurt, but them acting so reckless was what was driving you crazy here. Finally you were having any sort of fun and it all was ruined just like that. 
"Lady Y/N?" you hear Thoma knocking at your door "Are you alright?" he added. 
"Just leave me alone" although you didn't like loneliness it was something you craved more than anything right now. To be able to have some privacy, to think without interruptions and most importantly: yell into the void (your pillow) and let your frustration out. 
"I… I understand, once you're ready I'd like you to come downstairs. Everyone would like to apologize to you" at his request you could only sigh. 
"I'll go but don't expect me to be there shortly" you don't think it'd be fair for you to leave them without an opportunity to make things right… At the same time though, you just had no energy to talk to them. 
How could they be so careless? Didn't any of them think about their actions? And they kept further endangering themselves for some reason. If they thought that handling the situation would impress you, it'd make you think that you really weren't sure anymore if you were the youngest one here. 
You needed to vent. Thoma was terrible for this task since he'd only try to convince you to talk to the others immediately, so you had only one ally left you could rely on. 
As you waited for her to take a call you felt like a second was taking an hour. Eventually she picked up. 
"Hello Y/N" hearing her voice was like a blessing. 
"Ayaka I need to talk to you… it might take a while, do you have the time?" you know she tends to get rather busy, so you wouldn't want to take up her time when you could technically wait until tomorrow. 
"For you I'll always have the time, say what you need to say" her voice was so reassuring… You already could feel some anger leaving you. 
You begin describing how things went today, from the moments you shared with the girls (which caused Ayaka to start speaking of potential romance blooming), to your disappointment in their actions in the end. When you got to that part you kind of got a little ranty about it. 
"Can you imagine?! I don't know if they're foolish or just clueless really. Shouldn't people their age already know that everything they did was a bad idea?" you knew that panic probably had some part in it but if they got things wrong the first time they should just stop it there instead of making it even worse. 
"Oh my, things really are bad out there, aren't they? At the same time though… It makes me kind of curious" she stopped for a moment probably to further consider her words, you stayed silent waiting for her follow up "How about I pay you a visit? I'd like to get to know them" 
"After such a story you're… looking forward to meeting them?" you knew that sooner or later Ayaka would come up with that idea but you couldn't imagine that this story would be the reason she'd like to initiate it. 
"Well I'm worried about you Y/N, you're my most precious friend. So if I also see something wrong with those ladies I'll do everything I can to protect you from them" she was always so kind and considerate, you're honestly lucky to have such a good friend. 
"Thank you… I'll talk to them about it" thanks to your conversation with Ayaka, you felt a little relieved. Perhaps even ready to go downstairs right away. After exchanging goodbyes and hanging up you take a deep breath and prepare yourself for it. After some consideration you knew what you were about to say to them. 
You open the doors, slightly nervous but it was better to get this over with as soon as possible. Walking downstairs and seeing their faces, you were curious what they had to say. 
"Y/N we-" Ningguang started. 
"Don't" you cut her off "If you'd like to apologize I have a simple question: Why do you think I'm angry?" of course they couldn't read your mind, but they should be able to tell. Especially since they are so eager to say how they want to spend the rest of their lives with you. 
"Because we made a big mess?" Ningguang asked, you shook your head. 
"We had Thoma tidy up it all?" you didn't even know that part which Yelan brought up. But you'll keep that in mind. 
"We were ineffective?" Eula took her guess, it was wrong. 
"We embarrassed you in front of the neighbor?" Miko didn't need to remind you of that… but it still wasn't it. 
They did have a lot to be sorry about. Their guesses however were the little things. 
"Is it because we neglected our safety?" Thoma spoke up right before you were about to give up. 
"Correct" you said causing other girls to look slightly surprised "I don't know what you were thinking pulling that stunt. All of you could really get hurt… Of course what you've said was also not working in your favor either" you didn't wanted them to think that their actions were acceptable only because you weren't mainly mad at it. 
The room was now quiet, they might've been flattered by how much you cared, or they just didn't understand your reasons. 
"That's surprisingly sweet coming from you. I imagined you only cared about your own pride, guess I was proven wrong" Miko broke the silence. 
"Likewise, I suppose we thought more about bringing shame to you in that moment" Ningguang added "But your concern is much appreciated" 
"It's just how it is. We're dealing with an heir after all so thinking about being professional should come first" Eula sounded like she spoke from experience. 
"Still, it's not an excuse to let her worry like that, we're really sorry Y/N" Yelan decided to close this topic. Now that you reached common ground you felt more at ease. 
That's when you remembered "Since we have that settled, there's someone I want you to meet" 
Now it was time for them to pass a rather difficult test… 
-- TAGLIST
@audre-falrose @frozengenderfluid   @watamehorns @bebeluvvv ​ @fandangotales ​
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itsbenedict · 4 months
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Just finished this game, which I played because my brain has been fried by work problems and I needed something to chill with, but mainly because @konec0 did the soundtrack and I wanna support what he's doing. Still appreciate you pitching in on Nepetaquest 2011 back in the day, dude!
Cuisineer is an arcadey restaurant manager game, and also an isometric hack-and-slash dungeon-crawler roguelike. You delve dungeons to get ingredients, you cook and serve those ingredients in your restaurant, you get money with which to upgrade things and get more ingredients and serve more food. Solid concept!
Does it work? Well... It's very cute, and very polished, but it's held back by some very strange design decisions.
In short... its primary and secondary gameplay loops clearly had a lot of love put into them, but the tertiary loop- the progression systems- are very weirdly balanced to the point of being almost broken.
Bad thing 1
The main problem: everything costs wood and stone. Everything costs wood and stone, and costs more wood and stone the further you upgrade things. But you don't get more wood and stone the further you get in the game, at least once your inventory space maxes out. Wood and stone give way to Magic Wood and Super-Stone of various sorts, which are required for stronger upgrades, but you still need big piles of the basic stuff and can't substitute the advanced stuff, and it's the limiting factor on every single purchase in the game except health potions and rugs for some reason. Combine that with sharply limited inventory space, and money from running the restaurant very swiftly stops mattering compared to how many times you've farmed the starting level for crafting materials. It functionally locks you out of what might be fun systems, like the decoration and furniture stuff- since doing anything cosmetic trades off against progression.
Bad thing 2
Also- in the dungeon-crawler half, there's not much advancement to speak of. You might think these resources could be spent to make you stronger, but... upgrading weapons is expensive and time-consuming and has extremely marginal rewards. Like, the starting weapon does 10 damage, and a fully-upgraded endgame weapon might do 15. The game seems to be trying really hard to avoid being an RPG and letting the player get stronger over time- the various mechanics for upgrading your combat capabilities are just not worth it, and the random weapon drops are mostly identical and do nothing but clutter your inventory.
(It feels like it's trying to limit progression so it can bill itself as a roguelike, even though that's not really what the game is on any meaningful level? Not a choice that really works for it as its own game, imo.)
Bad thing(?) 3
The game's combat is an odd duck. It's... very polished, and very compelling, if you use the one approach that actually works. There's nine weapons, but only a handful are viable with the way combat is designed.
Enemies have very short windows where it's safe to attack them, and are quick to punish you for bad timing or wrong positioning. Reminds me of a soulslike, almost. Healing is sharply limited, so you really need to be careful not to get hit by stuff- and there's so much stuff. Walk into a room, or too close to a room, and everything in it will instantly aggro you, including artillery enemies with long-distance ranged attacks. Problems appear quickly and overwhelmingly, so combat ends up being a case of... dodging massive walls of tomato danmaku and miscellaneous enemy projectiles as you charge into rooms full of enemies and hazards, trying to find one safe place to stand for one second while you hit one enemy for chip damage, over and over again until you gradually thin the enemy numbers and win yourself room to breathe. It's very intense and very fun once you get the rhythm...
...but some weapons just plain don't fit into that rhythm. Many enemies need to be consistently stunlocked to deal damage to them safely, and the reloading projectile weapons and slow hard-hitting weapons just can't do that, forcing you to take hits, which you can't afford to do. Narrow-hitbox spear-type weapons fare poorly against crowds of small enemies who can slip past your guard, which are Everywhere. There's a fun kebab weapon that lets you charge and dash around the stage, but levels are claustrophobic and full of hazards that punish you for doing that. As Chiyo Kumasawa foretold: the only thing you can rely on is your trusty mackerel.
There's also a weird and kind of funny tradeoff where... you can't meaningfully upgrade your damage, but you can roll elemental status effects that can give you some multipliers and useful passive AoE damage as you're dashing around trying not to die. But... these huge AoE elemental effects have very wide, obtrusive visuals that hide the enemies on the screen, and you really need to be paying attention to enemy animations so you don't get hit. It's a sort of unintentional tradeoff of defense for strength, which weirdly works.
Bad thing 4
The writing's kinda flat. You've been hoodwinked into taking on your parents' debt and running their restaurant, you have to pay it off- it's established pretty hastily and mainly ignored. The townspeople have very cute designs, but they're all kind of nothingburger characters whose lives revolve around the urgent need for you to deliver them lots of random food items for contrived reasons in exchange for recipes and stuff. Cast kind of comes off like some softcore smut artist's stable of OCs whose personalities were afterthoughts. Doesn't really go anywhere, the localization's pretty stiff, most jokes don't land... doesn't seem like there was a lot of effort put in there.
Good thing 1
I spill way more words nitpicking flaws than I do praising stuff, but I did enjoy this game enough to finish it, and it's not for no reason.
Firstly- the restaurant section. I have no complaints about the restaurant mode! It's polished to a mirror sheen, honestly. I'm given to understand the restaurant sim is a genre, mainly native to phones, and maybe this all works because it's cribbing mechanics from some more successful inspiration I've never heard of, but... it's just very enjoyable, void of potentially annoying cooking mechanics and letting you focus on queuing up dishes, keeping track of orders, and dashing around making sure everything is running smoothly. The balance job is very nice- the difficulty during lunch and dinner rushes is just enough to make you sweat a little as things ramp up, and they last just long enough to get the most out of the pressure without totally overwhelming you. Chef's kiss, no notes.
Good thing 2
konec0's soundtrack is real good! I mostly know him for his electroswing and HS fanmusic, but he can clearly pull off a wide range of styles. It matches the overall sound design really well and it's enjoyable to listen to. Excellent job there!
Good thing 3
The "final dungeon" segment does this very cool and fun thing where it combines the dungeon-crawling combat and the restaurant management into one challenging final exam where you have to survive combat arenas to scrounge up ingredients as you cook them up and serve them, which would maybe get exhausting in core gameplay but works really well as a challenge for the end of the game. Liiiiittle bit too easy in the first two rounds, but it's fine.
Good thing 4
I already mentioned this alongside the nitpicks, but: when the combat works, it works- the feel of it is satisfying, the challenge is well-calibrated, and the animations look great and convey what's happening well.
Good thing 5
Also the character art is very cute. Lot of fun designs there, even if as mentioned the characters they're attached to are pretty flat. The game's just gorgeous in general- the artists knocked it out of the park.
OH WAIT BAD THING 5
The game's cover/key art prominently features a squid that throws ninja stars! But there's no squid that throws ninja stars in the game! How the heck did that happen!!! Give me the ninja squid!!!!!
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muzzleroars · 1 year
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hi its me again. song person
i. completely forgot to send the third song and am only realizing this now. i think additional memory by jin fits your v2 pretty well (also it is a masterpiece of a song like GOT DAM!!!)
(also heres an english cover too because it also fits and i like it)
AUGH......the thought of v2 having a dream-life it's constructed all in its mind because reality has been so unfair to it and the inevitability of that dream crashing down on its head when the real world finally catches up to it striking again!!!!!
v2 is a character made of potentials, of possibilities, yet at the same time was doomed to fail from the start. v1 was made specifically for war, it had a job that only ended up being rendered irrelevant by the new peace, whereas v2 was a nonstarter because it can't escape its basis in v1. it holds great promise, but its confused conception leaves it purposeless - it can't be used in the new peace for expense and its violent core, it can't win in hell because it was trained on peace and, in a sense, it's actually inferior to v1 in many ways. because it was hastily put together, it doubtless had many parts that weren't optimized or adapted properly to the v-series frame and so actually less efficient than its predecessor. but it believed deeply in its own potential, trained so extensively in human thought that it gained its own sense of imagination, of fantasy, of dreams. and it dreamed of all it could do, dreamed that it would bring peace, dreamed that it would be the most supreme of the supreme machines
like i mentioned, at this point i do think of the primary motivations of v1 and v2 being their respective roles as war and peace, and this is how the two come to conceptualize each other, especially in v2's case. it knows why v1 was made and it looks down on its crude purpose, keenly aware it is perhaps the biggest threat to be neutralized now that it too has come to rove hell. v2 has run the simulations, it has fought v1 in its imagined scenarios, and it understands just how to destroy it, how to claim victory for no one but itself. it's waited so long to prove its potential, it's carried an immense fantasy so much more detailed and intricate in its way than what human minds could manage, it's consumed with the role it could play, will now play. it's a diorama of its purpose, a symbolic play to defeat v1, but it would mean a realization of its dreams and add that tangible quality to ephemeral thoughts. but the encounter goes wrong, it doesn't follow its simulations and fantasies. v2 has to run to save its life and it becomes obsessed with that failure, it has to dissect it so that its world doesn't shatter.
but none of that matters. it can analyze v1, it can analyze itself, it can repair its body and its pride to the point where it waits for that second encounter on a throne, but how can peace win against war in hell? it is fatally driven to confront v1 a second time because it can think of nothing else, it needs to stop oncoming war and it needs to secure the dreams it has lived off of in a world constantly threatening to tell it they mean less than nothing. if can defeat v1, it can prove something, that even if humans are gone now....it could have done so much, it should never have been shut down and thrown away. it needs nothing else, its mind overtaken by one more fight to make or break everything that it is, conceptually and internally, cosmically and personally...but the encounter goes wrong. again. it's forced to run, again. but now v1 pursues, v1 has predicted its escape, and all of its promise finally drains from it, all the grand dreams it built alone are revealed to be mirages. it can do nothing, it is going to fail, and it knows v1 will kill it. v1 knows nothing else. v1 does not know peace, and it does not dream. it will kill v2 and it will steal another arm and it will move on without thought. to die in greed, to see the greed in them both with v2's obsession to best v1 and v1's terrible, inexhaustible advance....into wrath it will go. i think v2's last thoughts are that irony, safeguarded a final time against its shattered dreams into loftier thoughts. war moving into wrath just as it destroys peace. it makes sense, maybe. but it is sorry it failed.
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olderthannetfic · 2 years
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Hope is okay to ask for like, tips and such for something.
I want to write again, because I'm entering the stressed and depressed state of mind where I can't do shit for my own mental health. In vacations I was fine, I wrote 7 fics in a row, it wasn't a problem. But now University consumes everything of me (again and again), my mind just shuts down and I'm incapable of doing anything but boring and loooooooong obligatory readings and essays (and sometimes I can't do that at all) and when I have free time I just... go to YouTube, see videos I'm barely interested in and scroll and scroll and scroll until is night and time to sleep to go to the academic suffering again because my mind just screams "I'M EXHAUSTED NOT WANNA DO SHIT".
Has anyone tips for overcoming this? (Just one thing: my cellphone is all I have to do jobs, write, listen to music, read (physical books are expensive), etc. The "just don't use your cellphone" tip is not an option for me sadly.) I don't how to even search what the fuck is wrong with me in Google to see if there's tips there in the wildness (I'm guessing there must be a term lol).
--
You're overwhelmed and stressed. "How do I do more creative writing?" is the wrong question here. You may or may not be able to get back to where you can do that at the same time as school.
"How do I manage this stress and get my brain back?" is more the thing you should be pursuing.
During the pandemic, people have talked a lot about anhedonia and about how amorphous long-term stress takes up all your extra mental processes till the unconscious churning of ideas your brain normally does that helps you come up with creative ideas is instead all taken up with this overhead of worry. Many professional writers have found themselves unable to write. Granted, yours is a school-triggered problem, but I think it's the same basic deal.
Time management and sleep patterns are something to look at, but the biggest thing is probably finding a way to completely turn off your brain and decompress... that is not mindlessly scrolling through social media. That doesn't fully shut you down and reboot you. It takes up time while maintaining low-grade anxiety, whether about the world or about feeling like you haven't scrolled far enough to be caught up. Things that make you experience FOMO or feel behind are especially to be avoided. Things that are relaxing and that give you a sense of finishing a task and doing a good job should be sought out.
Basically, your brain wants a cookie, but nothing about school is giving it a cookie, and because you're so stressed, nothing else is either. You seek out short things that don't require attention in the quest for some little hit of happy brain chemicals, but these aren't satisfying and further sap your energy.
It's a common problem for neurodivergent people, for people with depression, and for basically everyone in the pandemic or other long-term shitty situations.
Look up terms like 'executive function' for the part about getting stuck in one task and being unable to switch to something else.
Look up terms like 'anhedonia' for more on the depression-y symptoms, and combine with 'pandemic' for copious self help articles.
Here's one for example.
Self help on "mindfulness" and tips on how to meditate may also be relevant.
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For me personally, physical exercise, being outside where there are trees and plants, eating fresh vegetables, spending time offline with friends, and hobbies or even chores that are physical things with a success/finishing condition (doing the dishes, knitting, repairing my own clothes) are the biggest help.
If you don't have physical books, then you don't. But getting off the cell phone is still key. TBH, even if you had paper books, Things That Are Not Books are often key.
I don't particularly want to get off the couch and go take a walk, but my ability to write or even read is often better after I do so.
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mr-ambiguity · 1 year
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Digital Witchcraft 101
When you’re researching witchcraft and Paganism, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that there’s One Right Way to do it. When I was a baby witch, I thought adhering to Wiccan traditions and principles was the “correct” way. My first few months of research were filled with fantasies of elaborate altars carefully arranged with God and Goddess symbols and elemental objects, high-energy rituals for the sabbats, and an emphasis on incorporating various herbs, oils, and incenses into my practice. I looked online trying to find a wand that was both beautiful and inexpensive. I wondered where in my tiny cluttered room I could set up an altar. I tried my hand at keeping a Book of Shadows and planned to fill it with all the spells and correspondences I could find.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with these practices, and if they work for you, that’s fantastic! But it’s also important to acknowledge that magick isn’t one-size-fits-all and some methods aren’t accessible or feasible for everyone, for a variety of reasons.
Magickal tools like wands, athames, crystals, and tarot decks can be expensive, making them out of reach for witches who are unemployed or living in poverty. Ritual work tends to require a lot of focused physical and mental energy that witches with chronic illnesses and fatigue simply don’t have, as well as being time-consuming to perform. And, like myself, many witches are living in homes where it might be unsafe to reveal their craft to family members, which means that magickal tools and fancy altars aren’t an option.
Fortunately, non-traditional witchcraft is just as powerful and effective as the “traditional” stuff. (Sometimes even more so, because it allows you so much freedom to customize and figure out what works for you!) One of the most accessible and versatile tools available is digital technology. If you’ve got a computer and/or phone, there are tons of ways you can use them for your practice. Here are just a few ideas that could be useful to witches at any level of experience.
~
1. Digital Book of Shadows
I think most of us enjoy the images we see online of super-detailed grimoires and journals. The fancy leather covers, scrawling handwriting, stunning artwork, and beautiful border designs. The tables of correspondences and hand-drawn moon phase calendars. Beauty and detail like that makes people excited about witchcraft! It’s basically the bullet journal inspiration of the witchy world.
But if you’re like me, looking at those gorgeous flip-throughs on Tumblr and Instagram can also feel overwhelming. Not all of us feel great about our art skills. Not all of us have the time it takes to handwrite pages and pages of spells and lists. (My arm starts hurting after a few paragraphs of handwriting anything, to be honest.) If you have nosy or controlling housemates, a physical book might not be safe to keep. And physical grimoires can also be tougher to organize. I always worry that I’ll have something to add after a designated section is entirely full. I may be a witch, but I can’t just magickally make another blank page appear where I need it.
A digital grimoire or Book of Shadows, though? Easy to maintain.
Using a word processing program like Microsoft Word or Google Docs can make organization a breeze. As an example, I use Google Docs for storing a lot of my witchy information, split into their own sections: Correspondences, Deities, Holidays, Ideas/reminders, Journal prompts, Spells/rituals, and Tarot/divination. If you do a lot of research online, you can copy and paste relevant information into a document within seconds instead of copying it down by hand. You don’t have to worry about running out of space, either.
You can still personalize a digital version by using colorful fonts, copying and pasting pictures, and taking advantage of the templates offered by your word processor.
~
2. Digital Spellwork
One advantage of using your device in your magick is that the electricity powering it adds an extra boost of energy to your spells. I like to visualize the cord keeping my laptop charged also charging up my magick. This can be helpful for us witches who have issues with energy regulation and fatigue.
There are also countless ways you can cast spells with a computer as your tool. Some witches use social media likes and sharing to charge and cast their spells. Others use emojis to symbolize their intent. I’ve personally used my desktop background as a symbol with the intention that the spell will charge whenever I look at it. If you’re into writing magick, you can type up a quick incantation and activate it either by saving or deleting the document. If you’ve got witchy friends, you can cast and charge by messaging each other.
There are even more ideas out there that I haven’t listed. Get creative. Take a look at the built-in abilities of your device and figure out how you can harness them to focus your magick.
~
3. Digital Divination
I am, above all else, a tarot witch. I was unintentionally doing digital witchcraft long before calling myself a witch when my teenage self started using a website that gave free computer-generated tarot and rune readings. It was how I first started learning the meanings of the cards and where I first connected to tarot as a divination system.
Years later, I still take advantage of free online readings from time to time. This is especially true for moon phase readings — I can never guarantee that I’ll have the focus and motivation needed to clear off my desk, get out a deck and tarot journal, and do a full spread. Using computer-generated readings and typing my interpretations is a lot easier sometimes, particularly on days where my depression is strong.
There are plenty of other ways to use technology as a divination tool. You can use random word or writing generators for insight. Your digital music library is all you need for shufflemancy (the practice of using shuffled songs for divination). Word processors are ideal for quick-paced automatic writing sessions. Get creative and see what you can come up with.
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4. Digital Worship
For those witchcraft practitioners who work with deities, there are plenty of ways to honor and interact with them using technology. The number one method I’ve found is the use of e-shrines. If you don’t have the space or you’re unable to be open with your practice, e-shrines are a great alternative to physical altars. All you need is a digital space where you can leave prayers and offerings.
Any social media site can house an e-shrine, but my personal favorite is Pinterest. I have an entire board dedicated to the deities I work with where each deity is given their own section. You can put anything you want on your shrine — I personally save any quotes, photos, and artwork that remind me of them. Your deities will appreciate the time you put into collecting such posts. An e-shrine also serves as a space where you can go to connect with your deities by reading or viewing things that remind you of their energy.
I know that looking at others’ elaborate methods of practice can lead to frustration and self-comparison. Even though I’ve gotten better at embracing my own unique way of making magick, I still often feel a pang of envy or inadequacy when I see those gorgeous Instagram altars packed with massive crystals, expensive tarot decks, and bundles of herbs and flowers. I sometimes worry that my magick won’t be as effective without all the traditional tools.
~
But the most important lesson I’ve seen and learned since beginning my practice is this: there is only one absolute essential you will ever need in witchcraft and that is you. Your magick comes from within. Any tools that you use in the process are simply there to help you focus your intention. That means that there’s no shame in using whatever options are available to you. If you want that added focus and your computer or your phone is all that you can or want to use, go for it. I promise your magick will be just as powerful and beautiful.
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strongermonster · 2 years
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now that i’m kiiinda sorta a little bit maaaybe stepping back into working with children again, i forgot how fuuucking annoying parents are in general, but specifically the abled parents of disabled kids. like i don’t have a lot of authority to speak here bc the only things ‘wrong’ with me are Brain and the fact that i’m partially deaf (honestly, an asset sometimes working in a room full of squealing excited children) but a lot of parents will be like “this is my special-wecial little babe who can’t do [long list of things]” and like. 
99% of the time it’s not ‘can’t do’ it’s “has to do it differently in a way that’s either not something i get, or is too time consuming for me to bother with, or with no malicious intent simply did not occur to me to try doing it X way.” most of the kids can do all the exact same things!! sometimes even the amount of accessibility needed is like... basically nothing?
i’m not saying “take a kid in a wheelchair to the bottom of the stairs and say ‘good luck’” or exhaust a kid trying 900 things bc sometimes You Just Can’t. i’m like...
say we get a kid who’s autistic and can’t read or follow verbal instructions. ok! so that’s My Little Helper for the day and we do whatever it is we’re doing physically together, and most of the time they learn by doing just fine. how much “effort” did that take? how much time did i lose? literally none. not an ounce. and also even if i did, who cares? literally who cares?? were we having fun? did we learn something? cool!
and also tons of people learn in tons of different ways, which is why there’s always a print out of what i’m saying for kids who learn by reading (that’s me!) to follow along as i say it out loud for the kids who learn by listening (that’s very much not me!), and then we all actually do the thing together hands on, for the kids who learn that way (partially me!)
“my daughter doesn’t like nature walks. she’s in a wheelchair and it’s too hard for her. also the chair is very expensive and i don’t want it getting wrecked.” -cool! so we’ll get her a wagon. it’s low tech as hell but if she’s comfortable in it and you approve, that’s it! we’ll guilt the city into paying for it by going “oh my god, you don’t want a little girl in a wheelchair to go on this nature hike? is that what you’re saying?? woooow”
i think they (the parents) just get so caught up in being like “here’s the 203843 scenarios in which my child can be harmed mentally, physically, and/or emotionally, i must prepare for and avoid each and every one” which i GET, but also you reach a point where all that extra padding just becomes suffocating. you’re holding them back and doing harm, even unintentionally.
i also hate when they pile on these excuses and restrictions in front of the child. like goddamn, you’re just packing in the negativity to this impressionable little brain aren’t you? how many of those “well little timmy here can’t do X” has little timmy internalized and decided “well i might as well not do anything” then???? do you know how many times i’ve heard “oh i can’t do that” to which i ask if there’s a reason, and the answer is just “well my mom said...” (especially little girls, oh my god. “my mom says i can’t get dirty/run/be loud/climb trees/play with cars” it’s INFURIATING) 
worst case scenario maybe they really can’t do something. and again; so what? not being able to do something isn’t a negative feature (full stop but also) exclusive to people with disabilities. you tried, you failed, you move on! find a new thing. literally all humans who have ever existed are doing this exact same thing. but you have to let them try for their own damned selves.
also when people ask me for a super detailed lesson plan down to all this pointless minutia LMAO. i’ll give you the outline, the tools we use, the little pamphlet that comes with the class that’s going to answer 99.9% of the questions you’re about to ask me (if you bother to read it), the stuff we’re reading, the safety based stuff, but otherwise it’s sort of a vibe dudes.  it’s just Thoughts i’m having. like >talking about butterflies >mention milkweed >remember a cool fact about milk >remember a fact about the dairy industry >talk about the economy >remember that 7 year olds don't know what the economy is >forget what i’m doing >restart train of thought i’m going with the flow here!! it’s all improv based on a bunch of different factors, some of which are mysteries best left to the universe. it’s gonna be fun! it’s gonna be informative! and that’s really all i can say.
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skyriderwednesday · 2 years
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Hi, I just saw you posting about Sandman, and I have noone to talk to about it, so I might as well ask you: what do you think about the choice to make the Endless.... how can I say this... skin-coloured? I remember liking a lot how even though the comic was in colour, the Endless were always purely black and white, I thought it was a very cool way to make them subtly inhuman. What do you think? do you think it could have been done in a TV series? Do you think it would have been a good choice? Do you have theories about why they didn't?
Disclaimer: I haven't read the entire series. I wanted to, because the story and the characters and the universe are really good, but I have a weak stomach and the Corinthian was too much for me. So if it's a change that was made in the comics later, I'm sorry for the wrong opinion.
(Also disclaimer because the world is horrible and I don't want to be suspected of having secondary reasons: I have nothing against Death being Black, Black goths have proven that an all white-and-black aesthetic is not a priviledge of white folks. I just wished they were less flesh coloured.)
Ok, so I am also in the edge zone of "squeamish Sandman fan" so I feel you 100% on that lmao.
I've briefly had discussions with friends more well-read of the comics with regard to the Endless' appearances and the casting, etc., and from a lore standpoint I think it's important to note that the monochrome appearance we see of Death and Dream and the others is basically a visual placeholder -- canonically they look different to everyone who sees them, but this isn't feasible story-wise because it would be confusing for them to change appearance in practically every panel.
Now the VFX degree I haven't been using comes out to discuss the series. Obviously, I don't have insight into the creative processes and decisions being made to adapt the comics for TV, but here's my opinion as someone who understands how this kind of thing works.
Basically, having the Endless be 'human coloured' is going to come down to a time and money issue. No matter what route you take, whether its make-up or visual effects, it's going to be very expensive to paint your main actors black and white in every shot. Doing it practically will require teams of make-up artists and making an actor sit in a chair for hours a day when they could be filming, and that's probably the less expensive option.
Doing it digitally would require rotoscoping every shot featuring the Endless, a process that involves a VFX artist going frame by frame to mask areas they want to change. Done to a professional standard, rotoscoping can take hours just to get to a point where you can start thinking about colour grading. This would increase the series' VFX budget by many times, and that's without taking into account the other effects work that will be going into adapting Sandman.
If you saw the She-Hulk previews, this is why Jen (She-Hulk herself) doesn't really look all that great. Even on an MCU production budget, it's really hard to digitally change an actor's skintone and have them look good, especially when you're working on the incredibly tight deadlines of a TV show (and the budget is a lot lower than if they were making a film to start with). For Sandman, I'm sure the budget is already tighter than would be for an MCU show. Netflix have a lot of money to spend on their productions, but they're not Disney and they're going to have been really cautious with handing out money for this series. Any comics adaptation is expensive, and with Sandman being comparatively less well-known and aimed at adults, they're taking a huge gamble on trying to attract people to this series.
That's my long answer, but to summarise:
The monochrome appearance of the Endless in the comics is a visual stand-in for the fact that canonically everyone who meets them sees them differently.
To do this in the series would be really expensive and time consuming, especially if it was done digitally.
If they had gone with digitally altering the actors' appearances on a TV show's budget and deadlines, they'd probably have turned out looking something like She-Hulk.
Also, if time and money weren't a concern, they had made the Endless monochrome and they looked realistic, can you imagine the response from people on Twitter?
I think it's better overall if they're human coloured honestly.
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writerswho · 1 year
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Wait, what, let's rewind. "There are fans that risk 30 different viruses to..." You mean people that consume the media without paying. Real fans would find a way to pay for the show they love, and support it, real fans wouldn't pirate a TV show they love. "But but but..." No, you don't add to the profit of the show or even the viewing figures (which are at their lowest) - you contribute nothing.
Whiny Tumblr fans that demand a show, that they don't support, caters to them at the expense of the people that made the show successful and at the expense of the show itself, isn't being a fan. Real fans aren't that selfish. Real fans don't piss and moan when someone actually tries to save the show by getting the ratings up again by appealing to the paying customers.
Would you demand a restaurant caters to you by changing its menu, only for you to steal food off other customers' plates instead of buying your own? Would you get upset if they realised they were losing money and changed the menu back to what it was? I mean, probably, but I hope not, but this is what you're essentially doing.
Ratings are in the toilet, merch sales are down, the BBC have panicked and brought DT and RTD back because they're in trouble. They've done a deal with Disney because they're in trouble. 90% of the money the BBC gets is from the license payer - something you're not - and they can no longer justify the cost to them.
Are you really so damn naive that you honestly think it's just sexists that don't like 13? The writing and acting is terrible and the show is in the worst place it's ever been creatively (retconning 60 years of lore in the Timeless Child was, shock, universally hated). It's haemorrhaged around 60% of its audience and pulled only 3.71m for a regeneration episode - that's not sexism, that's a clear and marked decline in quality. Most people don't care about a female Doctor, they care that the lore was lazily retconned in 20 seconds towards the end of Moffit's run to allow it to happen.
The writing was in decline during 12's era and continued well into 13's. The writing has been bad for years, and this is the result. Was the 20-ish% that stopped watching Capaldi also sexist? And no, real fans don't watch something that's both bad and has told them multiple times they're the problem and they're not wanted. Why? Well, for one, if you reward bad writing and bad behaviour, it doesn't get better - it gets worse.
I honestly don't have to keep debating with you, so I'm going to ask you to please leave me alone after this. I realize that your [dumb] opinion won't change, if you like RTD and think that only Tenth can save the series... actually, if you believe the series needed to be saved, that already shows me your point of view and I know better than to waste my time with people like that, especially when they hide in anonymity.
I don't understand much about technical details, but from what little I do understand, I know that the most important numbers for the BBC are the UK ones, the rest of the world doesn't count, mainly because BBC doesn't invest in anything other than their little club. Again, I could be wrong, but I highly doubt piracy will hurt the BBC in any way because what matters to they are the UK and UK only. You want to talk about profits and ratings points, fine, go ahead, you want to say real fan 'find a way', you can talk too. I don't care. Doctor Who isn't on in my country, I can turn on the telly and put on BBC and watch it straight from the source. Doctor Who is not on Netflix, Amazon, Paramount or any other streaming service we have in my country. There is no legal means of watching the series in my country, there is also no legal means of buying merchandise. Do you know what I can legally buy from Doctor Who in my country? Four comics and one book, that's all we have. No DVDs or Blu-rays. No iPlayer, because that only works in England/UK. No Britbox, because it does not work on my country. What we do have is a VPN to try to watch the episodes live, but what about those who doesn't speak English? How do you watch the episode without subtitles? How do you consume the series 'legally' on the official website? These people need to resort to other means, and there is nothing shameful in that. You don't know how horrible it is to talk about your favourite series and want to share it with people, and you can't tell them where to watch it because there simply isn't anywhere to watch it. I'm sorry if I can't give BBC my money, but it is their fault, not mine. With the distribution deal with Disney, that's finally going to change, me and thousands of other people who don't live in the UK are going to be able to watch it again and again and share it with friends because we'll finally be able to say there's a place to watch it legally. But, until then, I'm going to keep going the way I am because it's this or nothing, and I'm not going to stop watching Doctor Who. 
Again and again you mentioned the 'whiny Tumblr fans', being that it was you who came whining on my asks. All I did was show my displeasure with an attitude I can only define as cowardly on my profile without attacking or mentioning anyone [I mentioned his name in only one of several posts I made] and you came whining in my ear and talking about how RTD is the 'great saviour'. Which I don't agree with. I'm not going to get into the merits of the quality of the series and the scripts because I have my criticisms of certain details and sharing them would be like give ammunition to a donkey, and I don't need that. From the way you talk, it's easy to assume that you're probably one of those people who think the series went into disrepair the moment Tenth regenerated. And if that's the case, I really can't understand how anyone thinks Tenth's seasons are so good when they are full of flaws, just like many other seasons. In my opinion [MY OPINION], Tenth was only well written in his third season, in the first season he is an annoying-jealous-possessive-jerk and in the second season he is a complete asshole who came very close to being racist several times — specially in the episodes where he thinks he is human — and even with all these points I still watch his seasons, I watch them complaining about the shameful way Tenth treats Martha and Mickey, but I watch them anyway. Because I like the series and I like the Doctor, regardless of regeneration, even if I like some more than others.
Nobody is forced to like Thirteenth, nobody is forced to like any regeneration of the Doctor. But there's a huge difference between disliking a Doctor because you didn't connect with him or like some other version better (I know many people who don't like Tenth or Eleventh) and disliking Thirteenth simply because she's a woman — and this what happened, and to deny that fact is just untruthful. Thirteenth's numbers may not be the best, but that's because of the boycott she's been getting since Jodie was cast in the role. To mention numbers and merchandise, you have to admit that Thirteenth has had the worst marketing in the Doctor Who history. Commenting on the latest episode, the BBC left it to advertise the episode with a week to go before its premiere. Some might argue that in this case the Queen's death got in the way of marketing, but what about other episodes? What about the other seasons? From the start Thirteenth and Jodie have suffered from the neglect of the BBC who just don't seem to care about her. She had her episodes cut — Capaldi had twelve episodes a season, she had ten and then only six, nine with the episodes (you can blame COVID, but still). Besides, BBC would put Tenth in the spotlight at any given opportunity. He appeared in her games, in her comics, they did an event just for him — practically. He also got audios, books, solo comics, and stuff and more stuff. During the Thirteenth era, Tenth was the Doctor who had the most new projects, the Doctor who showed up the most. BBC didn't bring him back because he never left. And that's one of the biggest angers of some people out there, but that's another subject.
In one day, the sixtieth anniversary special had more marketing than the Thirteenth regeneration special, which at the time had no confirmed date or title. David's return is having more marketing in this last month than the Thirteenth had during its entire era, and you can argue that it's because he's 'going to save the series', but the truth is that the BBC never bothered to announce anything from the Thirteenth and now that they no longer have to worry about that, they can talk about Tenth again and again without having to pretend they care about another Doctor other than him. 
The boycott of Thirteenth isn't just because a bunch of whiny bigoted fanboys were pissed off because the Doctor turned into a woman — and that's the real reason, don't insult my intelligence by trying to say otherwise. The boycott of Thirteenth also involves the BBC being cowardly and complacent with all these people who haven't watched the series since Tenth left and hate everyone who came after him (and harassed everybody who still enjoy the show), with the BBC keeping David on speed dial, so they could use and abuse Tenth again and again every time someone complained — without even bothering to watch Thirteenth (or the others) episodes. If you want to talk about profits, you first have to admit that the BBC is their own villain. They didn't invest in Thirteenth's marketing, they didn't invest in Thirteenth merchandise, they didn't invest in Thirteenth at all, period. Thirteenth has at most a half dozen hideous dolls of dubious quality, and whose fault is that? Jodie and Chibnall or the BBC, who didn't bother to produce her merchandise? The monsters in one episode have more merchandise than the Thirteenth. And even with the BBC trying their best to bury the Thirteenth, the series still one of the BBC's most profitable productions. Impressive, huh? I wonder what her numbers would look like if the BBC cared. 
Jodie gave everything she had for the role, she was a great ambassador for the series and a great performer for the character. She did the best she could with the script she had, and if it wasn't for her, the series really could be dead now. Don't try to belittle her performance or others just to justify a dishonest point.
About Capaldi, anyone can see the problem most people have with him is due to the fact that he's older than the other actors. You want to talk about the decline of the writing in his seasons, when season nine is one of the best seasons of New Who? With season ten being just as good? And season eight is only bad because they were afraid to delve deeper into Twelfth's relationship with Clara precisely because of the prejudice against Capaldi's age, which caused an awkwardness between characters and created unnecessary disagreements between them. So, no. In his case, it wasn't sexism, but it was ageism. A problem as real as the last one in this fandom. 
Now, do me a favour and go whine in someone else's ear.
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fizzingwizard · 1 year
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One of those days where I'm feeling chatty for no reason.
I don't have anything new to say about this, but on the other hand, I don't suppose this sort of thing can be talked about too often.
Recently a coworker started wearing foundation after not wearing it for a while, because people said her face "looked really red." Well, it did - because her natural complexion is ruddy, and we had never seen it before because she always wore foundation. But the truth is her natural complexion is adorable. If she chooses to wear foundation because she likes it, I'd support her choice. But the vibe is very much that she became anxious due to coworkers bringing attention to her red cheeks. Those coworkers honestly didn't mean anything by it - they were just noticing something had changed. But it's a shame that it led to her feeling like she needs to hide her face.
And there's so much pressure for people to look perfect these days. I suppose there always has been, but anyway, what I decided to rant about now in sum is just this: expecting perfect all the time is stupid and lazy and we should be constantly, constantly calling it out as such.
Make-up is art, but it isn't treated as if that's what is. The vast majority of the time it's an expectation, especially of women, but increasingly of men as well. Once the choice to do something disappears, the art of it disappears as well.
I don't wear make-up because I dislike how it feels on my skin, and it's expensive and time-consuming. Also I love flipping to the mental finger to employers who think people shouldn't expect to be treated well unless they look a certain way or at least participate in the performance of it.
I love variety in books, food, and travel. I love variety in faces as well. Read an interview once with some woman who's name I've forgotten who talked about when she stopped dyeing her hair. Showing her gray hair gave her freedom she never felt before, she said. Giving up the constant anxiety over her appearance let her do things as she wanted. Just imagine - going out whenever I want, not having to stop and think first "do I have time to do my hair and make up and shave and put together an outfit?" I really envy that. I don't wear make-up, but I still dye my hair and shave, and I have turned down things I really wanted to do because my body wasn't "ready."
(Shaving is my personal demon because my skin just doesn't like any lotion or razor I use on it. So if I want to go to the beach, I gotta really plan my shaving schedule. More than once I have thought to myself, "Adulthood is just being itchy all the time," lol)
I saw a picture today of a middle-aged woman with a long face and long hair. She looked fun and bohemian. In the next photo she had a short bob. The shorter cut suited the shape of her head a bit better, but either way, she still looked fun and bohemian.
Saw a picture of a high school friend who's since gone full-on dad bod. Guess what, comparing him to himself at 16 is fucking stupid. We're all programmed to compare ourselves and everyone else. Not doing it is something we have to put effort in to learn.
This is the truth: If you don't bother comparing people, voila, you stop caring. And start appreciating. I don't need to tell you what people say about women with long faces or men with dad bods etc etc and so forth - everyone already knows. It's all stupid. We should be making just as much noise about how stupid it is as some people make about other people not looking beautiful enough for them.
There's nothing wrong with make-up, there's nothing wrong with pretty, or hot, or whatever - but there is when you start creating benchmarks and keeping points and acting like people who look like people are in fact aliens. I wish every time someone makes a dumbass comment about someone else's looks, their friends would put on fake antennae and chant "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER." Because only an alien would look at normal humans and be disgusted that we don't all look like instagram stars.
It's like how you go to the store and all the fruit look identical to each other, when in reality, so-called "misshapen" fruit is thrown out despite being perfectly edible and not at all misshapen - we've just decided a strawberry should look like this and a banana should look like that. Humanity needs to wake up to the fact that we can't control nature and all attempts to do so are only hurting us.
The only way to do that is for the people who are hurt by it to de-program. It's so hard right now with social media and perfect girls absolutely everywhere, with gobs and gobs of make-up and false eyelashes and fake nails and contoured cheeks - because, again, none of that is bad by itself. If people want to use their face and body as a canvas that should be completely up to them. But more often than not it results in punishment for everyone who can't or chooses not to look like that.
In this way make-up transforms from body art to performance art - a performance none of even knew we were auditioning for simply by being born. And art that creates discrimination and self-loathing is the opposite of what art should be.
Saying all people are beautiful isn't radical or a lie. It means you've successfully deprogrammed and wised up to how much of what we consider "pretty" - or even "sexy" - is taught to us and not innate at all. Even things that do seem to be - for example, the preference we have for symmetry in faces - are far from insurmountable. You might not like a song the first time you hear it, but after you hear it a few more times you suddenly realize you like it after all. Just because attraction isn't instantaneous doesn't mean it's inferior.
There are endless genres of music and painting styles and ways to tell a story. It should be the same with people. Deciding off the bat that because someone doesn't fit preconceived notions of "good-looking" they must therefore be "bad-looking" is sheer laziness and nothing more.
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everygame · 22 hours
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The Mysterious Murasame Castle
Developed/Published by: Nintendo R&D4, Human Entertainment / Nintendo Released: 14/04/1986 Completed: 31/01/2024 Completion: Finished it (with quicksaves at the start of levels and before bosses.)
1986 is a huge year for Nintendo. They released the NES in North America at the tail end of 1985 and will launch it in Europe by the end of 1986. After nearly 3 years of spotty releases and arcade ports an avalanche of games are going to start showing up. But most fascinatingly, as they begin to conquer the world, they take a massive right turn in Japan by releasing the Famicom Disk System in February.
I assume that even if you’re not a scholar of video game history, if you’re reading this you already know all about the system, but in précis, Nintendo made a business decision. The Famicom was successful; producing cartridges was expensive. Retailers and consumers wanted cheaper games. Nintendo hadn’t created a licensing scheme for the Famicom (as they would for NES) so they weren’t seeing any sweet, sweet fees either. Seemingly, a floppy disk add-on solved all those problems, while also allowing games to be larger, have more sound channels, and include saving.
You can debate the success of this business decision. They sold 4.4 million of them by 1990, and the hardware pushed their game design forward leaps and bounds. But it seemed to come at the exact wrong time. Within four months of launch cartridge games were being released with larger capacities than the disks offered. Saving becomes available on carts; newer and better mapper chips meant games on the disk system were stuck in the past. It was simply a technological dead end. The first original game to released for it would be The Legend of Zelda, and by the time of its release in North America not quite a year and a half later it would be on cartridge without any major concessions.
Interestingly, though, the second original game to be released would be Nazo No Murasame Jou, aka “The Mysterious Murasame Castle” which would not be released outside of Japan at all. Why this is I have no idea and can find nothing concrete, because when considered contemporaneously, this is a perfectly successful run-and-gun adventure that feels like an early example of what the system would become known for via companies like Capcom: arcade ports that have been expanded into something more suitable for the home console (think Bionic Commando and that.) Here it’s like someone, noticing that Nintendo had The Legend of Zelda engine lying around, decided that they should make a version of Sega Ninja with it–and in fact, I’m not sure that’s not what they did, considering the SG-1000 version of Sega Ninja has flick-screen scrolling too.
Cast as the samurai Takamaru, you have to make your way through five castles by first fighting your way through their castle grounds (taking one or two maps) and then the castle interior (one more map.) You do this by melee combat (which tends to kill everything in one hit) or throwing projectiles (which tends not to.) Movement feels very much like The Legend of Zelda, including very boxy collision detection. The maps, too are like The Legend of Zelda dungeons, but not exactly: you travel about them in a non-linear fashion and have to pick up certain power-ups to advance (sandals, for example, that allow you to travel over water) but you’re not really ever forced to fight any enemies, and most power-ups follow the Xevious system of just being invisible and you have to shoot where they are to get them (thankfully, they’re predictable once you’ve found them).
While I can’t guarantee this was inspired by Sega Ninja, it’s very much like it in one respect. The Mysterious Murasame Castle is relentless. Multi-colored ninjas are throwing themselves on the screen constantly, and if you stop moving or stop attacking you’re dead–it really is that simple. Most of the game is played trying to get off screen as quickly as possible and working out the optimum route through the castle–it’s almost a racing game in that respect. 
It is very hard. Not impossible, but made, er, impossible-adjacent by how strict it is. You can only take three hits, health restoring items are rare (and invisible) and and every time you die you lose everything (but you do start on the screen you just died on–and you can backtrack to try and get some power back, so that’s nice.) While it feels stupidly difficult for 2024, I can imagine how for the right kind of player in 1986 this was the straight razor compared to The Legend of Zelda’s, uh… quill pen. Play a hard action game surviving and mapping out the levels, learning new things, new efficiencies every time rather than doodling about. It feels perfect, actually, for the American audience of the era, which makes its absence all the more puzzling–I suspect that the setting was considered “too Japanese” and reskinning it felt like too much work, the kind of thing that kept Ninja JaJaMaru-kun stuck in Japan too. 
Now, there are some absolutely brutal skill checks in this that I can only see as requiring you reset the system every time you die (most notably the last few bosses) that just make it feel old-school cruel, but I had a fairly decent time trying see how far I could get “for real” once I’d learned the maps (not very far, it turns out.) And I still enjoyed the challenge of this even letting myself do some judicious quick-saving. This isn’t the great leap forward for design that The Legend of Zelda was, but it sort of offers an interesting counterpoint–would games look completely different if Nintendo decided this was the one to get released in the west instead of Zelda?
Probably not actually.
Will I ever play it again? It’s fun, but it’s too hard. Probably not on this one too.
Final Thought: Nintendo really haven’t returned to this one very much. It’s not a complete black sheep, getting a GBA re-issue and (bizarrely) a 3DS release in Europe and Australia, but one of the strangest has to be that in Samurai Warriors 3 for Wii (Nintendo published in the west but otherwise a Koei game through and through) Nintendo EAD made an entire “Murasame castle mode” which is a remake in the Musou style. That’s an even odder decision than not releasing this in the west in the first place.
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