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#(couldn’t feel my feet for about 25 minutes after that one. I didn’t feel cold. but my feet were past numb and legit no feeling.)
wolffire666 · 1 year
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My friend told me to share this (Please read)
All events in this story are true.
I shot awake. An intense feeling of being watched rushed down my spine. I felt sick to the stomach. Sweat formed on the nape of my neck. My room was ice cold. I look over at my clock. 5:55. I have to get ready for school, but I felt paralysed. I couldn’t move. My dog sensed something was off and licked my hand. I snapped out of the dissociative state I was in. The feeling of being watched was gone and my room was warm again. After getting dressed, I looked out of my bedroom window. The snow has melted leaving everything wet and icy. The sky was black with a few stars sparkling faintly. The world was still. Nothing was moving. The wind was non-existent. I left my room and went to brush my teeth. The lights seem dimmer than normal, with one flickering more often than it used to. My toothbrush seemed oddly quiet, but I brushed it off. I finished getting ready for school, my lunch was packed, and my backpack was filled with the papers and books I needed for the day. 
The sky was still pitch black, but now a thick blanket of clouds was in the sky and no stars could be seen. I took a deep breath and when I exhaled, watched as it clouded in front of my face. It was a sharp cold day. The kind where you feel it stab at your throat when you breathe in too deeply. The kind of day where you just want to stay inside, because if you don’t your fingers and toes seem to freeze. I looked at my phone. It was 6:25, time to start walking. It only takes a few minutes before I feel like I’m being watched again. This time, I’m by the corner of my block near a white house. There was a car in the driveway, a small gray Honda. Next to it though, is what scared me the most. 
There was a large black figure, about 6 feet tall standing at the passenger side door. Its upper limbs leaned inside of the window, it seemed to be grabbing for something. But how? The window was closed. I was walking as slow as I could, my breath gone. I stepped on a twig. I stop in my tracks. I looked over at the car. The figure was looking at me. Its eyes are glowing red or yellow. I could feel it snarling. It bent over backwards, it’s now on all fours with what looks like its chest in the air. It turned to face me, its eyes trained on me, I felt my heart pounding. It cocked its head to the side. We stayed looking at each other for what seemed like hours. I twitched. It hissed and made an ear splitting scream as it ran on all fours behind the house. It was still facing me as it ran. I felt sick. I started to cry. I could feel my tears slowly evaporating from my cheeks. I shook violently. I practically ran to meet my friend so we could walk to the bus stop. 
When I got to their house I finally stopped crying, I was still shaking though. I looked at my phone. It was only 6:30. I quickly texted them that I was there. We got onto the bus. I didn’t feel like I was being watched anymore. The rest of the day went by fine. But every time I walked by that house, I held my breath and rushed by not looking at the driveway.
I’m not sure what happened that day, but I know that what I ran into was supernatural and other worldly, but I have no clue what it was. And honestly, if I run into it again someday, I don’t know what will happen.
I guess to add on to it, for awhile before the encounter I was having nightmares about a large figure chasing me down the streets of my town at night. The moon being high in the sky and bigger than normal. Through my eyes everything was warped and distorted. A slight smell of wet leaves filled the air. Whenever I woke up from them I’d be paralyzed to my bed. Sleep paralysis plagued me almost every night up until I saw the thing in real life. When in the sleep paralysis I could see the figure in the corner of my eye just watching me. It never moved. It just stood their slightly hunched over in the corner of my room. 
I hope someone knows what this is, I haven’t seen or dreamed about in months and I’m scared it might come back to do more harm, but I don’t know. Sorry that this was so lengthy, I felt like I had to put a lot of detail into it so it could make more sense and not sound fake or that it could be explained easily, I know some might say it is fake, and I’m not really trying to prove it’s existence, I just want to know what it was.
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celabi · 2 years
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𝐾𝐴𝑅𝑀𝐼𝐶𝑆 𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅 𝐻𝐴𝐿𝐹
# Summery - He doesn’t know how you managed to make your way into his closed off heart, and he’s wondering why he doesn’t push you away.
# Featuring - (Atalus) Xiao x GN!reader
# Note - Changing my theme for the 92837th time lmao, wrote this is 25 minutes so expect lotta mistakes <3 mwah
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‘Missed me?’
Is somthing you said every time you came face to face with him, and every time his response was the same, but it looked like it didn’t effect you.
‘Don’t flatter yourself, human.’
He’d say with a shake of his head, turning away and going back to the view in front of him, ignoring how you make your way over and sit down, letting out an amused laugh.
He doesn’t know why he doesn’t shrug your head of his shoulder when you lean onto him, instead allowing you sit against him while relishing in the comfortable silence— watching the moon.
He doesn’t know why he doesn’t tell you to shut up when you start ranting about your day, telling him every little thing so he doesn’t miss a single detail, but he has to give you credit, how you try to break the silence that he doesn’t know how fill.
“—but I always end up getting in trouble for something I didn’t do! Can you believe it Xiao? It’s not always my fault.” You huffed, explaining your tiring day to the adeptus that sat beside you.
He nodded, eyeing you intently while you continued on, you talked to fast and most of the time he couldn’t understand what you had said— but still. He never once told you to stop.
He doesn’t know why he listens. Why he actually waits for you to finish instead of interrupted your speeches, like he does with anyone else. Instead he waits, watches your mouth yap all while he’s paying close attention.
“Oh? And— what happened after that?”
Your eyebrows shot up, and whipped your head into his direction only to see him turn away from you, hands on his knees while watching the scenery.
“D-didn’t think you’d care, but I’ll tell you since you asked.”
He doesn’t know why he waits for you to visit him, why he leans on the railing to the wangshu in and looks over the land hoping to see your figure run into his direction.
His eyes roamed the ground, seeing people walk by the inn with smiles on their face. He didn’t know how they could when living in a world of evil, but that’s why he’s here.
‘No, that’s not them.’ but it does look like you, and he feels just a slight bit of annoyance when his hopes drop as another one walks by.
He’s starting to understand why he greets you when you finally arrive, placing his rough hands on your soft skin as he pulls you along to the top balcony to talk, just like every other time you do.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Xiao.” You apologise, taking a seat next to him and letting out a sigh.
“I was not waiting.” He grunts, watching as you kick your feet and play with the hem of your shirt while you laugh. And he looks away, knowing you could see thought his attempt at a lie.
“Of course you weren’t.”
He’s starting to understand why he lets you hold his hand as you drag him along to streets of Liyue harbour, smiling back at him with that same grin he’s come to look forward for, the one that was edged into his mind.
“Your hand is warm, not like I imagined.” He lets out one night, as you strolled through the crowed of people, not like he wants to, instead wishing to be sat alone somewhere remote, to just sit and talk. With you.
“Hm? You imagined what my hand would feel like.” You tease and send a wink over your shoulder, and he looks away before you can see the small tint of red dusting his cheeks. “— and your hand is cold, that why we match so well together, no?”
He’s starting to understand why he opens up to you about the problems weighing him down, and he’s grateful as he watches you sit and listen to every word that spills out his mouth. He’s not one to talk, but with you— he finds himself slipping and letting go of all the bottled up grief he feels.
“I can’t imagine what you had to go through, it’s sounds horrible.” You mumble into his chest, your hands behind him and rubbing his back soothingly.
It didn’t help at all, but he liked that you wanted to help, so he couldn’t hold that against you. “It was, but now… I have someone who takes it off my mind, even if it’s only for a little bit.”
He’s starting to understand why he’s waiting for you to call out his name, for you to let him accompany you where ever your feet flow, and he’s not following the rule that comes with the privilege of saviours, instead breaking it himself. He’d follow you with a small whatever but deep down he knew— knew he’d do this all over again just to be close to you.
“Missed me?” You teased with a small— sly grin, and letting out a chuckle when he shakes his head— like usual but you cut him off before he can speak. “I know, I know, don’t flatter myself.”
He huffs, rolling his eyes and turning around, waving his hand behind to signal you to follow. “I’ll lead the way this time, I don’t was to get lost again.”
He’s starting to understand why he leaned in that one night— catching your lips in his before pulling your body close. He didn’t miss the way you let out a small gasp before slowly easing into the kiss, closing your eyes in content.
“I apologise, I should of asked for your approval to go forward with that… uh— kiss.” He looks away in guilt, he never wished to make you uncomfortable with him.
But he’s brought back when you let out a laugh, “it’s okay! I liked it, plus I thought it was obvious what I wanted.” With a small grin, you grab his bicep and pull him in close, with your nose against his. “Can— can you do it again?”
He now knows why he’s still carrying on his duties as an adeptus, to save those who cannot save themselves. Never before did he have someone to keep close to him, but now— he would fight the whole world just to know you were safe.
“Is it hard? Killing demons I mean, it sounds tough.” You ask one day, you never once saw a demon, but the tails of them sure did spread around. “Protecting the world sounds hard.”
He turns his back to you, and you watch as his shoulders relax. “It is, seeing as they’re always getting into trouble. Be more careful, will you?” He mumbled back, and it’s your turn for your shoulders to tense up.
He now knows why he feels these things deep inside when you’re around him, Love is what everyone is saying, but is he really capable to feel love, does he deserve it? After all these centuries off killing and blood shed, his answer is always the same.
No, he’s not aloud.
But maybe— just this once he can be greedy, take the one thing and store it away without the guilt of being selfish.
He now knows why he can love, in his own way. You’ve made him realise, no matter the crime committed, anyone and everyone is worthy to feel love, ‘Even you’ you mumbled into his neck, kissing his cold and scarred skin.
“Missed me?” You gave him a wave, placing a plat of almond tofu in front of him. He gave you a nod of gratitude and dug in.
“Like always- don’t flatter my—”
“I did.” He mumbled quietly, yet his gaze was fierce, as if waiting for your next move. Watching you stutter over your words and waving your arms around, he let out a small— almost non existent laugh. “I always will.”
But he doesn’t know why.
—Why things always go wrong when he’s around.
He shouldn’t be holding you close to his fast beating heart while your own slowed down, you shouldn’t have been there— but you were. Why? He wanted to ask, to shout, to scream. But the words in his throat were lodged so deep down that he couldn’t get them out.
“Don’t miss me too much.” You choked out, letting out a sad— dry chuckle, and he wondered how you could do such a thing while in this state.
After many— many excruciating years of lament, the non beating heart he had— had slowly started to pulse again. His monotone face had started releasing small smiles, something that he would of never thought would happen all those years ago.
“That’s stupid,” he whispered, watching as the eyes he always loved— close right in front of him, and he knew. Knew that they would never open to look into his again. “I told you didn’t I?”
He let out a broken smile, leaning down and pressing a his long and final kiss— to your now stone cold skin.
He knows why, why after all these years of loneliness, when he had finally found the thing he needed, it was snatched away in his very arms.
It’s because the world isn’t nice.
“Oh! Going out again xiao?” Aether questioned as he watched the immortal walk past, Paimon beside him gave a sad smile. Xiao only let out a small nod in return before vanishing in front of their eyes.
He reappeared— in front of a large tree before slumping down onto the grass. There was no blanket and food this time, only mind and soul. Or— what was left of it.
“Hello.” He stared at the stone that stood ahead before looking down to his hands. He couldn’t do it, it still was a struggle to do— even after all these years.
He let out a small chuckle, blindly reaching his hand out to trace the words that embedded the rock. His fingers trembled with each letter he hovered over, yet he still didn’t look up.
His hand fell into his lap, the hand that you once held in your own and surrounding it in warmth. Yet this time— it was cold, it was alone— it was empty.
For the first time in years, he fluttered his eyes closed in content, something he only used to do in pain, and turned his head up to the heavens, pressing his lips into a thin line.
Wetness, he felt drip onto his cheek, it was cold— too cold to be comforting. He wanted warmth, your warmth, yet it never came. It was raining yet there were no clouds in the sky, that’s strange.
“Do you miss me?” He talked with the sky, and he waited. Waiting for you to answer, waiting for you to say anything, anything at all that could tell him you were there.
But the only thing heard was the wind, gushing past his hair and away with the leaves. He smiled, shaking his head before leaning back into the grass, staring at the blue world above.
“T-thats not fair [Name], not fair at all.”
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mimi-cee-hq · 3 years
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Laundry Days - Aran x f!reader
Summary: Three times you picked up his underwear and one time you missed doing it.
Genres, other tags: fluff, slice of life, humour, meet cute, domestic fluff, not suggestive lol, married under 25, neighbours to married lovers ;)
Words: 1.6k
Warnings: manga spoiler
This is for @neoheros & @coophi's 2021 Summer Haikyuu!! Writing contest. (Okay I'm pretty shy at first so it feels a little scary to tag you two but here's my piece.) I was going for the married under 25 prompt but ended up doing neighbours to lovers too. :D
Don't mind me spreading the underrated characters agenda as well. lol.
*****
A few articles of clothing spilled out of the dryer and onto your feet. Oops. Your neighbour must have forgotten them. You should've checked first.
Your own damp clothes sat inside the washing machine next to it, waiting for their turn to enter the dryer. It wasn't possible now.
You sighed, retrieving the phone from your pocket and scrolling until you saw the name of the neighbour who lived a floor below you.
Ojiro Aran.
You were sure this was the right person after a second look at your texting history. Who'd bring the garbage to the curb, where the lawnmower was kept, and keeping the duplex's stairway clear were some of the conversations you had with him.
You had yet to meet the guy, but he seemed amicable enough.
After shooting him a text, you thought to give him a call instead. Perhaps he'd think a phone call was strange. However, your clothes were damp and you shouldn't leave them for long. Was he even home?
You sighed. Crouched down, you returned the clothes on the floor back into the machine. A scarf, several socks, and a knit hat made their way back inside. But what was this?
Underwear. Men's underwear.
You scrunched your nose as you lifted it from the cold, tile floor. Was that a hole in it?
Click.
"Sorry I just saw your text!" a tall, dark-skinned man blurted out as soon as the door was unlocked.
"Oh! It's alright! I only texted you a few minutes ago!" you quickly explained, waving your hands in front of you.
You shouldn't have done that. The underwear was hanging from your hand.
"Ummm…" Aran scratched his cheek, eyes retreating from you.
"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!" you spat out, tossing the incriminating object to him. "It just fell out of the dryer when I opened it so I went to pick it up!"
Once in his hands, he recognized it as the one with the seam coming undone. "I… umm… should probably have thrown this one out."
"Umm… yeah… you probably should." Those words slipped off your tongue before you could catch them.
"I- I guess I'll go now," Aran said hastily.
He shut the door.
You let out a breath. That was awkward. Heat continued to linger in your body and you weren't sure who was more embarrassed by the encounter.
Wait. His clothes were still in the dryer. Did you dare ask him back?
The door slowly creaked open and Aran peeked his head into the room.
"I forgot something, didn't I?" Aran sheepishly asked.
"Yeah." The corners of your mouth lifted into a smile. "Yeah, you did."
"I'm Aran by the way."
"Y/n."
You never thought this would be how you'd meet your future husband.
*****
The office chair in your apartment was a comfortable spot for folding clothes. The webcam caught your face as you chatted with Aran whose image filled the monitor.
You smiled. Your husband was winding down after a long day with the team and decided to check up on you.
"I'm alright," you told Aran. "I miss you though."
"I literally just saw you yesterday!" he said. "I miss you too."
After that fateful yet awkward encounter with him in that laundry room two years ago, you had run into each other more frequently at the front doors of your duplex. Your classes ended at similar times four out of your five school days. You were surprised he even started a conversation with you. You wouldn't have been able to bear the embarrassment. Fast forward to a confession, a kiss and a rock-embedded ring, and you got a small, snowy wedding during winter break.
It was back to the books for you now, and you dreaded it. Chores seemed much better, easier. Plus doing them for your newly-wedded husband? You got giddy about that.
You quirked your brow, lifting a familiar piece of clothing from the basket.
"Hey, I thought you threw this one out," you mentioned to Aran, dangling his underwear in front of the camera.
"I did! That's, uh, probably a different one."
"Just how old are these?"
"Hey! Wait a moment! Are you folding clothes?"
You avoided the eyes on the screen. "Maybe."
"You have your paper due in a few days! I told you I was going to do it after flying back home."
"I know…"
Aran's eyes narrowed at you, a trademark expression of his. "You're procrastinating again, aren't you?" His tone implied disapproval.
"But I'm still being productive!"
"Y/n…"
"Okay, okay. I'll stop." Your foot pushed the basket away, sliding it across the floor. Maybe you could fold them after you hung up.
Aran must have read your mind. "Show me what the laundry bin looks like."
You groaned. He saw right through you. Complying, you removed the clipped webcam off the monitor and directed it at the pile of unfolded clothes.
"It better be like that when I get home."
"Alright," you said with a pout.
"Love you."
"Love you too."
Must he stop you from doing chores? They were a simple reminder you were married to him, as if the gold on your finger wasn't enough to show you.
You were his wife.
A smile snuck into your lips whenever that thought crossed your mind. The honeymoon phase was a peculiar, strange, lovely stage.
Yet it was fleeting.
*****
You groaned as you stood in the middle of the bathroom. Aran's white track pants hung off the counter, the red t-shirt he got for free from first year college laid on top, and of course his underwear, which likely went through hundreds of washes, remained on the floor.
Great.
You rubbed your temples, your headache getting worse by the minute. It was Saturday morning, and Aran, who was nowhere to be seen, had left his mess behind.
I'll clean it up later, he would tell you. You knew his mother had spoiled him, always picking up after him. You understood why he was like this, but why couldn't he just start doing it now?
"Do you have this problem?" you asked your friend through your wireless headset.
"What problem?" she asked.
"Does your husband always leave laundry around on the floor?" You pinched the bridge of your nose. "Aran never picks up after himself."
She laughed. You weren't sure if it was because you were a young, amateur wife or if she understood all too well.
Knowing her, probably a bit of both.
"Okay two things."
You listened.
"One, don't say always or never. That's lying."
"I'm not lying," you snapped back at her. You began to regret asking her.
"Are you sure he never picks it up and always leaves it on the floor?"
You left no comment.
"Exactly."
"Okay fine, but that still doesn't solve the problem. If only he just did it, it would solve everything–"
"Number two," she interrupted.
You groaned at her and she gave an amused snort in return.
"If you weren't picking up his underwear, it means he's dead."
You were aghast.
"You know I'm right."
Still aghast.
"What? No husband, no mess."
"I can't believe I asked you for advice."
"But it's true."
"Ugh," was all you could utter. She had several years more of marriage experience than you, yet you didn't want to acknowledge it.
You hung up the phone after you finished deciding today's outing with her, but you hadn't addressed the issue in front of you. Your head throbbed again.
Sighing, you picked up the underwear.
A few minutes later, the front door opened and you dipped your head into the hallway. Aran shuffled grocery bags through the door and into the kitchen. He yawned, placing the milk, eggs, and other items into the fridge.
A familiar coffee brand peeked out of a bag on the floor. Right. You didn't have your coffee yet because there wasn't any left.
You wrapped your arms around Aran and relaxed against his broad back.
"I can't put the food away like this," he said with a chuckle.
"You left your clothes in the bathroom again."
"Oh shoot!" He dropped a bag and started towards the bathroom but you tightened your grip on him.
"I put them away already," you told him. His body relaxed and he caressed your arm around his waist.
The honeymoon phase was a fleeting phase, novel tasks turned mundane, but your love for him grew deeper still.
*****
Aran was away again, this time at Tokyo in preparation for the Olympics. He eagerly called you during breaks, wishing to see his favourite person – although your hands were full as well.
"I miss you," he told you, his smile displayed on the screen.
"And I miss picking up your underwear," you told him with a smirk.
Like clockwork, he narrowed his eyes at you with a comeback. "Why don't you say you miss me like a normal person?"
"Because I'm your wife. I'm special," you told him as he rolled his eyes. "I wish I could be there though."
"You wouldn't be able to spend that much time with me anyway," he said. "Besides, one of us needs to stay home."
"I know." You smiled.
"I gotta go," he said as Atsumu yelled in the background. Aran blew a kiss at you.
You snorted. How cheesy. You returned the kiss anyway.
Hearing a mischievous squeal behind you, you told him, "I gotta go too."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
After you hung up, you turned around and sighed. A soggy wet diaper sagged on the floor and the little guy jumping in the crib giggled at you as if he did the funniest thing in the world.
You rolled your eyes and smiled before picking up the diaper.
"Alright kid. Let's put a diaper back on you and wash your sheets."
*****
I hope you liked it. This is a little different from what I usually write but I hope you still enjoyed it!
I blame Aran's current concern for giving me this idea along with the person who suggested I write Aran fluff. (As well as the seasoned wife I know who told her husband, "If I wasn't picking up your underwear, it means you're dead." lolll.)
I hope you stick around my blog to check out my other works! My current work in progress is a fake dating Suna series. I can't believe we're on chapter 10!
If anyone is interested, I have a Google form for my taglist.
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myherowritings · 4 years
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Maybe It’s Fate
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— After discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. The person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.
pairing: shinsou hitoshi x f!reader word count: 10,531 genre: modern au, social media au
a/n: hihi welcome to part 25 of toya ! ;) the smau is rated 17+ so keep that in mind because it applies to this part too. it’s a bit thicc so i hope it’s able to keep your attention! skksffsd plspls chat with me and let me know what u think once u read! i’m looking forward to the convos ^-^ [edit: THIS IS NOT THE FINAL PART LOLOL]
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Of all the dumb decisions you’ve made in your life, this by far had to be the dumbest of them all.
You were angry and hurt and wanted nothing more than to drown your feelings with overplayed EDM music and cheap booze that reminded you too much of the trash college parties you used to frequent. And while going out to get drunk was no where near your stupidest decision, going out alone with the full intention of returning home with someone else was. 
“Is everything okay?” you heard an unfamiliar voice beside you call.
Wishing you had brought more than an empty can of pepper spray, you cautiously turned to face him. You wanted to call a cab or take the train home, but you knew walking alone in the streets in your current condition might just be more stupid than staying at the club. Besides, your phone died right after you sent Kaminari your location. 
In other words-- You were truly fucked.
Not that you would let anyone know that, of course.
“Everything’s just fine,” you replied, trying to sound polite but disinterested. “Thanks.” 
He kept his distance but sat down at the barstool next to you. “Are you sure? You’re a pretty lady alone at the bar and you’re staring at your drink like it just insulted your favorite grandmother.” 
Immediately, the tears of stress and frustration flooded your eyes but you kept them from falling. Your bottom lip quivered and you blamed all the alcohol in your system for your seemingly uncontrollable emotions.
 “Am I that transparent?” You sniffled, downing the rest of your drink as you turned towards him.
“Ah-- Wait!” he cried with wide eyes, waving his hands in front of him as you chugged what was in your glass. “Are you sure you should keep drinking? Where are your friends?”
You studied him curiously. He seemed nice and trustworthy, but you couldn’t help but be skeptical of his intentions.
“They’re...around,” you answered, unwilling to admit you were here alone to a random stranger. “And I’m okay! Just here hating men, but what’s new?” 
He nodded solemnly. “Understandable. Men suck. Carry on.”
That earned a grin from you.
As the last gulp of vodka settled in your stomach and made its way to your head, you instinctively checked your phone in your pocket only to find it still dead. 
Damn. And here you were hoping it would’ve miraculously charged through sheer willpower. 
Drumming your fingertips against the empty glass, you let your gaze roam around the perimeter of the nightclub, blinking furiously in confusion when you thought you had spotted a head of all-too-familiar purple hair near the entrance.
“What the…” you trailed off. You could have sworn you just saw Shinsou, but the next second you opened your eyes, he was gone.
Great, you thought to yourself miserably. First he snuck his way into your heart and now you were imagining his presence too? 
“You’re really had too much to drink, haven’t you, Y/N?” you chided yourself, head spinning as you instantly regretted the last few gulps.
The guy next to you glanced over in concern, drinking a glass of what you assumed to be respect women juice. 
“Can I order you some water?” he fretted. “Or maybe a cab?” 
You shook your head to decline but stopped abruptly when your temples started to throb at the sudden motion. 
“S’okay,” you slurred. “I just thought I saw--” 
“Y/N!” 
You froze in your seat.
That voice… It was faint and almost like it wasn’t real, but you knew that voice. 
There was no way. 
“Good grief, I’m losing it now, huh?” you asked your bar acquaintance with furrowed brows. 
He shrugged, not knowing how to reply.
“Y/N, thank god,” the voice said frantically, sounding closer this time. “You’re safe!”
Ever so slowly, you turned around in your seat, eyes squeezed shut.
Even hearing his voice amidst the blaring of music was enough to make your heart twist in pain. It was the same deep timbre you remembered from high school and you haven’t heard it since then. You hated just how much you had missed the familiar sound. It was like a hug of comfort telling you everything was okay and a stab in the gut all at once.
“Y/N,” he said again, almost a whisper this time.
You finally found the courage to open your eyes, but refused to meet his gaze. Instead, you developed a deep interest in the laces of his shoes, reluctant to look up. 
“Shinsou…” The name left a bitter taste on your tongue and you wished you had another drink to wash it down with. Your voice hardened. “What are you doing here?” 
He winced at your harsh tone but stood unrelenting. “Your friends are worried sick about you. Kaminari was so concerned he even messaged me-- Something I imagine he never wanted to do.”
Your lower lip jutted out in guilt as your stare stayed set on the intricacies of the tiled flooring. 
“Why have you not checked your phone?” asked Shinsou in exasperation. “Kaminari was trying to tell you I was going to pick you up.” 
“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “My phone died after I sent Denki my location.”
“Died? Did you not charge it before you left? Y/N how could you be so irresponsible--!” 
“Is everything okay here?” your unnamed acquaintance said from his seat on the bar. He glanced carefully between you and Hitoshi. 
You nodded, sparing him a wry smile. “I’m fine. Thank you, though.” 
Shinsou bit the inside of his cheek as he eyed the stranger who sat next to you. “Who’s this?” 
“None of your damn business.” 
Annoyed by Shinsou’s chiding, you bristled when he frowned at you. He had no right to sound concerned or jealous-- No right to pretend he cared!
Not when he did what he did.
“I know I was being stupid and I’ll call my friends when I get home,” you said, not bothering to hide your irritation. “But you can’t just come here and talk to me like everything is normal! Why are you even here?” 
Pushing yourself out of your chair, you stood up and finally looked Hitoshi in the eye, glaring at him. You wobbled on your own two feet and felt the goosebumps on your bare thighs and arms, briefly wishing you had brought a coat with you.
Great, another thing Toshi can call you irresponsible for, you thought crossly, a mixture of hurt and anger in your face as you stared up at him. 
“Why are you here?” you repeated as you paced away from the bar--turning back only to give your bar friend a wave goodbye that he returned with a confused look. You headed for the exist of the nightclub as briskly as your legs could carry you in your uncomfortable heels. “How did you know where to find me?” 
Shinsou trailed not too far behind you and you begrudgingly admitted to yourself that you felt a warmth near your back from his presence. “Kaminari told me you were alone at a nightclub and this one happened to be only ten minutes from my house.”
You pouted. Small fucking world. Fate must’ve been getting a kick out of this.
“Your friends were worried-- So was I.” You rolled your eyes, but he continued. “And since I was the closest to this place I offered to pick you up.”
Reaching the side doors, you stopped by the stone wall of the building and squinted at him. “You offered and they just let you?”
That did not sound like the friends you knew. You were expecting a full Shinsou beat down from Bakugou alone. 
Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck and, in your tipsy stupor, you felt comforted by the familiar habit of his. You swallowed, balling your hands into fists to snap your mind out of it.
It shouldn’t matter how many memories of the past were flooding you-- You were mad at him for lying and you had every right to be.
“Maybe offered is too loose of a word,” he admitted after a moment’s silence, having the decency to appear sheepish. “But we were worried and I knew I could get to you in half the time any of your friends could.”
Sure, it was a logical reason. But that didn’t mean you had to like it. “I would rather have waited double the time if that meant I didn’t have to see you again.” 
You stared Hitoshi straight in the eyes as you said that as you tried to ignore the trembling of your lower lip. He flinched at the words, looking hurt. But another part of him looked like he accepted it. 
“I know I’m the last person you want to see right now--”
“Mhmm,” you hummed just to be petty.
“--but we had no way of knowing if you were safe. Especially when you stopped replying to anyone! This was the quickest way.” 
Folding your arms across your chest you stubbornly held his gaze. “Well, I’m safe. So you can leave now.” 
Shinsou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Please. I know you hate me and you have every right to--”
“I don’t hate you,” you muttered under your breath. As much as you wish you did, you don’t think you could ever really hate him.
He blinked slowly and you could have sworn you saw a shimmer of hope in his expression. You tore your gaze away, studying the small fissures and cracks on the otherwise smooth pavement. 
“Oh,” he breathed almost imperceptibly. “Thank you.” 
You pretended not to hear him.
“Regardless of whether you hate me or not, I know you don’t want to see me--and I apologize for showing up so suddenly--but will you please let me bring you home safely?” Hitoshi pleaded. “Or to your friend’s house if you don’t want to be alone.”
With your lips squeezed shut, you rubbed the goosebumps off your upper arm. It was cold and your head was spinning and you had no clue what to say to him. 
Silently, Shinsou took off his outer coat and gently draped it over your shoulders, fastening the top button near the collar so it wouldn’t fall off your frame. You looked at him in surprise, unshed tears stinging the back of your eyes as you recalled all the times he’d given you his jacket while you were dating.
There were more times that you cared to admit where you conveniently “forgot” your jacket or wore too little layers on a cold day just so Hitoshi could give you his and you’d be enveloped in his scent.
And that’s exactly what was happening now. Shinsou’s coat surrounded your body like a warm hug and your nose was filled with a scent exactly like the one you remembered from when you were dating. He smelled like a sweet sandalwood with a mixture of fresh jasmine. He smelled like a field of flowers you’d find after a long trek through a woodsy forest. He smelled like home.
But he wasn’t.
In actuality, you haven’t been this close to Shinsou since your break up.
It had been years since you had seen him or talked to him or even been close enough to catch a trace of his scent. And now he was flooding every one of your senses with no care of the repercussions.
Your head was light.
You missed him. You cared for him. You never stopped loving him.
And now old wounds that never fully healed had been ripped open all at once.
“You were shivering,” Hitoshi stated quietly. “So I gave you my--”
He stopped short when he heard a sniffle coming from your direction, eyes growing wide as your buried your face in the palms of your shaking hands.
Through the cracks between your fingers, you saw Shinsou reach out to cup your face, stopping himself before he could touch you and withdrawing as if he had been burned. As stupid as it was, you wanted nothing more than to feel his touch against your skin and you found yourself involuntarily taking a half-step closer to him.
Your silent tears feel even faster. 
“Are you crying?”
Despite the droplets of water blurring your eyes, you managed to glare up at him for his dumb question. 
He grimaced. “Sorry. I’m...sorry.” 
Although you were the one crying, you still noticed the pained look on Shinsou’s face. He seemed just as conflicted as you were, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands so hard his knuckles appeared white. 
When he opened his mouth to speak his voice sounded choked, but still gentle. “Are you okay, Y/N?” 
“Just peachy,” you murmured, barely moving your lips. The two of you stood there in awkward silence, nothing but the sounds of your labored breaths filling the air until you blurted, “Actually, you know what--? No. I’m not!”
Shinsou opened his mouth to speak but no noise came out. That was just fine by you, though. You had plenty of things you wanted to say, regardless of his response.
“I’m angry at you! And confused. And sad. And hurt! I don’t know if I want to yell at you or ignore you or run right back into your arms--” Your voice cracked and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to slow your sharp breathing. 
You hugged yourself around your waist, painfully aware of how comforting his jacket felt around your body. A part of you wished you could just tear the coat off your shoulders, throw it onto a puddle on the floor, give Shinsou the middle finger, and turn away without looking back.
But you couldn’t. 
Instead, you let your tears continue to fall as you glowered at Hitoshi’s shoes. 
“I am so mad at you,” you managed, hands clutching the fabric at your sides. “You lied to me, Hitoshi. You lied to me and you didn’t trust me and you left!” 
The hurt from your past which you never wanted to accept mixed with anger from the present, both fueling your surge in emotions.
“And now you’re here--in front of me--acting like everything is okay?!” you shouted in exasperation. Your face was burning despite the chilling breeze outside. “Do you even care about me? Have you ever even cared about me?” 
He gritted his teeth, hurt that you would even ask that. “Of course. Of course I care about you, Y/N! Even through all these years I’ve never stopped caring about you.”
“Funny way of showing it.” 
His laugh was humorless. “I’m a fuck up. I know.” 
Your gaze softened just the slightest bit. “Hey-- I didn’t say that.” 
Shinsou shrugged. “Regardless, I did fuck up with you. And I’m so sorry for that.” 
“For which time?” By now, the tears flowing out of your eyes slowed, the remnants dried by the biting wind. You gave him a wry smile, unamused. 
“Both times,” he answered without hesitation. “I hurt you when I broke up with you for no damn reason and I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. That was the biggest lie of my life-- I still loved you. So much. But I jumped to conclusions and didn’t give you the change to explain. I owe you so much more than an apology but it’s the least I can give you right now.” 
You rolled your lower lip between your teeth, hating yourself for wanting to accept his apology and jump into his arms. He gave no excuses for what he did and his words were genuine. That much you knew for certain.
Slowly, he inched towards you. 
“I really am sorry, Y/N.” He paused. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”
You stayed silent, holding your breath as the pad of his thumb brushed against your damp cheek. Shinsou wiped away your flood of tears with a touch so gentle, it felt like a feather on your face.
His thumb lingered on your cheekbone, his fingertips lightly grazing your jaw, and you found yourself ever so slightly leaning into his palm. The tension in your muscles loosened and if you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend you were back with the Shinsou you loved in high school-- As if he never left and nothing had ever changed. 
Just for a moment, you tricked yourself into being truly happy. You tricked yourself into thinking that maybe you and Hitoshi could still be in love. 
You wanted to capture this second and replay it on an infinite loop, but just like all moments, this too had to come to an end. 
As you opened your eyes, Hitoshi reluctantly brought his hand back to his side.
“Sorry,” he said, voice hoarse. “You were crying and I just wanted to--” He shook his head, cutting himself off before his voice cracked. “I’m sorry.” 
It sounded like his apology was meant for more than just wiping some tears off your face. 
You nodded almost imperceptibly, the anger in your gaze diffused by hurt and longing. “I know.”
As the minutes passed, neither one of you made a move to step away from the other-- Your bodies mere inches apart and so close, yet never quite touching.
Suddenly, Hitoshi cleared his throat.
“Er-- If you’ll let me, I think I should bring you home now,” he said, forcibly shaking himself out of his daze and pulling his phone out. “It’s almost four in the morning.” 
Blinking, you rubbed your eyes. Not that he mentioned the time, you realized just how tired you were. You wanted to take a bubble bath, change into fluffy pajamas, and sleep until the following night. 
“Do you have to go to your flower shop tomorrow?”  
“Hmm?” You were startled. You had almost forgotten that the man in front of you was the same person you considered your “mememate.” As much as you hated to admit it, he probably knew more about you than some of your closest friends. 
Biting your lip, you snapped yourself out of it.
“Oh-- Right. My flower shop.” 
He nodded.
“No, I don’t have work tomorrow,” you answered finally. “I may not have made the smartest decisions tonight, but I’m not that irresponsible.” 
A shadow of a smile graced his face. “Of course not.” 
Fishing his keys from his pocket, Shinsou walked to the parking lot of the nightclub, looking over his shoulder to check if you were following.
When his gaze met yours you immediately stuck your tongue out at him haughtily so he knew you were only following him as a last resort and you needed to get home-- Not because you wanted to. 
You caught a glimpse of his grin before he turned around, and you managed to stop yourself before one spread to your lips as well. 
Stopping at a black car with tinted windows, Hitoshi unlocked it with his keys, opening the door of the passenger seat and waiting for you to safely enter. 
“I can open a door myself,” you murmured, sliding into the seat securely before he gently shut it close. 
“I know,” you heard his amused voice call through the window.
It felt like there was one, singular butterfly fluttering around in your stomach and causing mayhem, and you batted it away before Hitoshi could come in and see the grin on your face. 
“Did I just see you just hit yourself in the gut?” he asked when he entered through the driver’s side. 
“No.” 
“Okay.”
Subtly, you rubbed your tummy in a soft, circular motion. You hadn’t meant to punch the butterfly that hard. 
“Didn’t hit yourself, huh?” 
You flushed. “Oh, hush.” 
With a snort, Hitoshi turned the engine of his car on and you let your eyes explore the interior. It was sleek and clean, smelling like a mixture of sandalwood and new car. 
Reaching behind the gear level, he pulled out a white cord and handed it to you. You stared at the object in his hands.
“For you,” he said, with a raised brow. “You should charge your phone and let your friends know you’re on your way home.” 
Wordlessly, you accepted it from him. Careful not to let your fingers brush against his in fear of the spark it might cause.
“I messaged Kaminari earlier to let him know you were safe. But he probably wants to hear it from you.”
You nodded as you plugged your dead phone in. “Thanks.” 
He hummed, putting the car on drive and backing out of the parking spot, stopping before he reached the main street. 
“Do you know how to get home from here?” he asked. As you shook your head, Hitoshi handed you his fully charged phone that was opened on the navigation app. “You can search for your address.”
“Got it.” The air between you was almost suffocatingly awkward as you typed in where you lived, each click of the keyboard ringing into the stillness of the night. After finding turning the directions on, you handed the phone back to him. “Thanks.”
Shaking his head, he waved you off. “You don’t need to keep thanking me, Y/N. This is the least I could do.”
Averting your gaze, you twiddled your thumbs in your lap, unsure what to say. You had so much you wanted to tell him--so much you wanted to ask--but when it came to it, you froze. 
Just then, your phone made a sound from its spot near the gear shift, buzzing and lighting up as it finally turned on. A plethora of notifications filled your screen and you found yourself feeling guilty for making your friends worry like that.
Five missed calls for Kaminari, three missed calls from Todoroki, and nine missed calls from Bakugou. You gulped. You were definitely going to get your ears talked off by those three once they got a hold of you. 
But amidst the calls and texts of worry from your friends, you also noticed a handful of messages from Hitoshi. He sent you texts asking if you were okay and telling you not to worry because he was on his way to get you. There was a lump in your throat when he saw the messages were still from your mememate-- You never did get around to changing his contact name.
From the corner of your eye you saw Hitoshi glancing down at your phone screen, a look of regret apparent on his face. When he caught you staring, he directed his attention back on the road, clearing his throat as he followed the directions on the navigation system.
To think only a week ago, things were so different between the two of you. 
You thought he was a random stranger you connected with through the power of memes, never having a clue that he was your ex this whole time. You found yourself opening up and sharing your private feelings with him despite the promise you made yourself to always guard your heart. 
Even anonymously, Hitoshi climbed over your walls and found his way to the inner workings of your life. Even anonymously, he made everything feel like it was okay. 
But a part of you was scared--so scared--that it was all in your head and he was only playing you this whole time. And at this point, you were just too afraid to ask.
“Are you crying again?”
“What?!” you yelped in alarm, wiping at your slightly damp face with the sleeves of his coat. “No, you asshole!” You glared at him, a few loose tears still gathered by the corners of your eyes. You refused to let them fall through the use of sheer willpower. “The air conditioning is just blasting into my eyes.”
“The air conditioner is off.”
You blinked. “Well that makes sense. It’s so hot in here I’m just sweating through my eyes.” 
He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “Right.”
The lighthearted mood didn’t last very long, however, when your phone buzzed once more and the notifications from earlier tonight appeared on your lockscreen. 
“I really made everyone worry, huh?” You sighed, leaning back against the headrest and shutting your eyes, the effects of the alcohol long since worn off. “I can’t believe I did something like this.” 
He signaled a left turn and waited until he was at the red light before continuing. “I’m sorry for causing this.” 
You stared at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Causing this?”
“Yeah. If I had just told you who I was the moment I found out, this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have been scared and alone at a random nightclub and your friends wouldn’t have been in near panic for hours. Hell-- If I hadn’t run away like that all those years ago none of this would have happened.” His fingers tightened around the steering wheel so hard it left indents on the leather. “You wouldn’t have felt all the pain and heartbreak and--”
His voice grew hoarse as it broke off, as if something was tightening around his throat. Holding your breath, you gazed at him in concern.
You were angry at Hitoshi and thought he had a lot of explaining to do-- Sure. But...for him to blame himself for everything that happened? That was more weight than anyone should bear on their own. 
Surprising both him and yourself, you firmly placed your hand on top of his as he gripped the steering wheel. His hands were cold and rough from the wind, and you were certain yours weren’t much better. But still, you held him. And still, it felt right. 
“Not everything is your fault, Toshi,” you said quietly, his old nickname slipping out of your mouth before you could stop it, like it was natural for you to call him that.
His eyes widened and a flush filled your cheeks. 
You coughed to relieve the tension in your neck. “I just mean… You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. You messed up and there’s no denying that, but this isn’t all your fault. I mean it.” 
Your eyes met before he tore his gaze away to focus on driving. Quickly, you retracted your hand from on top of Shinsou’s, cradling it against your stomach as you felt the burn from his skin linger on yours.
“Thank you.” His voice was solemn and grateful, as if he needed to hear those words at least once in his life. “You’re too caring, you know? Your heart is too good.” 
You let out a breath of laughter, brushing his compliment off. “Yours is too. It’s just been through some shit. And maybe didn’t make the best decisions.”
“It most definitely didn’t.”
Though neither of you were looking at each other, there was a shared sense of happiness between the two of you--regardless of how brief it may have been. There was a small smile playing on your face as you bit your lip to keep it from growing wider. 
You hadn’t fully forgiven Hitoshi, he still had some explaining to do, but you felt a sense of calmness when you realized that maybe forgiveness would be possible.
Before you knew it, you heard the navigator say, “Your destination is on the right,” as Hitoshi pulled up at the curb in front of your building.
“We’re here,” he announced slowly, one hand on the gear level as if he wasn’t sure what to do next. 
There was an awkward silence as you unplugged your phone from his car charger. It wasn’t that you wanted to spend more time with him exactly (that was definitely not the case), but rather you had more questions to ask. And what better time to figure out those questions than at four in the morning? 
“You’ve been driving for a while…” you trailed off, hoping he caught the hint without too much embarrassment on your part. “Do you want to use the restroom before you drive back home?”
Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck. “No, I’m good. I wasn’t out for that long.”
“O-Oh,” you stuttered, a sudden feeling of nerves settling in your stomach. Not those damned butterflies again. “Well, how about… Maybe you want a glass of water or a cup of tea?” 
He gave you a curious look but set his car to park and turned off the engine nonetheless. “Sure…? Some water would be nice.”
You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding, pulling your keys out of your pocket and unbuckling your seatbelt. Before you could open the car door for yourself, Hitoshi was already on the passenger’s side ready to open it for you. 
“I know how to open a door,” you muttered with a roll of your eye, but felt a faint flush litter your cheeks nonetheless. You hopped out of your seat, accepting the hand he offered to stead you. “But...thank you.” 
“No worries.” 
For someone you were still mad at, he was making it damn hard for you to stay petty. 
Despite the light throbbing in your head, both from drinking too much alcohol and from staying up too late, you were able to lead him inside your living room with no complications--only struggling with unlocking the door just a little. 
“Welcome to my house,” you said, flapping your arms around and fidgeting in place. You slid off your shoes and placed them at the doorway and Hitoshi followed suit. “You can, uh, sit on the couch while I get you water. Or you can follow me into the kitchen…?”
Your eyes scanned the floors and furniture of your apartment. You liked maintaining your living space clean and clutter-free, so it wasn’t too much of a mess. Still, you weren’t expecting any guests and it wasn’t as nice as it could have been…
You shook your head, giving your face a light slap when you thought no one was looking. You shouldn’t be bothered. It was just Hitoshi here. Someone you most definitely no longer cared about. 
Or so you kept telling yourself.
He followed behind you, grabbing at his neck and glancing between your walls and you, unsure what to look at in this new environment. After all, it wasn’t everyday you picked up your ex that you haven’t seen for four years at a bar only to be invited into their house.
“I can go with you to the kitchen,” he answered with uncertainty.
“G-Great!” 
You grimaced. When did you become Tony the Tiger all of a sudden? 
As you grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, you filled them up with ice and water, setting one next to Shinsou on the countertop. 
He accepted it. “Thank you.” 
You nodded and there was an awkward silence, both of you taking long sips from your glass, not knowing where to go from here. You knew you wanted to talk to him, but what were you going to ask exactly? What was the right way to go about this situation?
Next to you, Hitoshi looked like he was having some inner struggles of his own. His fingers flexed and unflexed around the cool glass, both avoiding your gaze and looking at you at the same time.
Biting your lip, you turned to look at him. As uncomfortable as it was, there was no better time to ask than now.
“Can we talk--?”
“We should talk--”
You both started and stopped at the same time.
There was a beat of elongated silence before the two of you laughed. Shaking your head, you buried your face in your hands, peering at him between your fingers. 
“This is silly,” you cried in embarrassment. “Why are we so awkward?” 
Hitoshi shrugged as a flustered laugh escaped his own lips. “Because this is weird. This is a strange situation we’re in and no one would ever expect something like this to happen.”
“Exactly!” 
“But,” he continued, almost hesitantly, “I’m kind of glad it did, though.” 
Your own laughter quieted down as the mood became more serious. You drank another gulp of water to quench your suddenly parched throat. 
“Can we talk in the living room?” you asked, heading towards the hallway when Hitoshi nodded. You figured if you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation, you may as well try to find some comfort in your warm and plush sofa.
You sat down at the edge near the armrest and he took a seat not too far from you. There was less than a cushion space separating the two of you and if you were to move a few inches, your thighs would be touching. 
Tearing your gaze away from your legs, you looked up to face Hitoshi. “You don’t have to answer, but… There have been some questions on my mind lately.” 
He nodded, as if expecting you to say that. “Ask away. It’s the least I could do.”
You curled your legs and hugged your knees to your chest, peering at him through your lashes. 
“Okay,” you said somewhat unsurely. Confrontation was never easy. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was? How long were you planning on keeping it from me?”
Hitoshi ran a hand through his hair, tufts of purple sticking out in random patterns. Somehow, it suited him.
“I found out a day or so before you confessed to liking...your mememate,” he admitted. He had told you this through text when you asked, but hearing it a second time didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was going to tell you that day, too. But then you told me you liked me and I didn’t know how to break it to you then.”
You looked away, embarrassed at the reminder of the night you poured your heart out to him. He knew you were his ex the whole time and still didn’t stop you? You scoffed, “Well, you could’ve stopped me before I humiliated myself like that.”
“Humiliate-- How?”
“What do you mean how?” You glared. “I totally embarrassed myself that night by saying how much I liked you--my ex!--only to have you basically reject me on the spot!” 
“I didn’t reject you.”
“I told you that you were the first person I liked since...well you,” you said, rubbing your temples to ease your own confusion. “And you never said it back. Not that you needed to. It’s totally fine that you don’t. It’s just that… I don’t even know. I just wish I never said anything.”
He placed the glass he was holding onto a coaster on your coffee table, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry,” said Hitoshi. “But that’s not it at all. I wasn’t trying to reject you. I would’ve told you I liked you back-- I wanted to, I swear.” 
Your head snapped to his. He wanted to tell you? As in he started liking you too? Even when he didn’t know who you were?
With a wistful smile, he continued, “But it wasn’t fair to you. Not when I knew who you were and you didn’t know who I was. You didn’t deserve that bullshit.” 
You stretched your legs out so they were dangling off the couch, folding one carefully over the other as you crossed your arms. “Then you should’ve just told me the truth about who you were.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “And if I did, you never would’ve told me your feelings.”
“Exactly,” you huffed. “They’d be safe and locked away in my heart until they disappeared.” 
He was silent as you turned his body towards yours, resting his arm on the back cushions of the sofa.
“Is that really what you want, though?” he asked. “You’re so kind and beautiful and you deserve to open your heart to someone and be happy with them.” A flush rose to your cheeks at his sudden words of kindness but you shook it away. “I never knew I hurt you so badly that you were scared to love again-- And I’ll hate myself everyday for that.” 
“Hitoshi…” Your gaze softened. You wanted to reach out and smooth down his hair but you couldn’t. 
He hurt you, yes. But to hate himself and never forgive himself for it? You thought that was far too extreme. 
“When you broke up with me,” you started slowly, unsure how to go about this, “you said that our relationship was nothing more than some cheap dates and sex.” He winced, holding his stomach as if he felt nauseous. “If you’re so regretful now, why did you ever say something like that? Did I really mean nothing to you?” 
“No-- Of course you meant something to me. Y/N, you were everything to me. And it’s ridiculous of me to say this now but I never wanted to hurt you like that,” Hitoshi said, his eyes squeezed shut. “But I did and I’m so sorry. I thought if I told you those mean things you would find it easier to just hate me and move on. Be with Kaminari or someone who could make you happy.” 
You glared at him with both sadness and anger, nails digging into your palms. “I was happy. With you. Is that so hard to believe?”
“A little.”
Taken aback, you stared at him. You weren’t sure what response you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. 
“But not because of anything you did,” he rushed before you could get the wrong idea. “I just thought you were a good person who truly deserved something better than what I could give. You should be with someone who wasn’t anxious and insecure and messed up.” 
You were unsure if you wanted to smack Hitoshi or give him a hug, so you sat there stock-still.
“Even when I saw you with Kaminari, a part of me thought it would be better off that way,” he admitted, a scornful look on his face as he scoffed at himself. “But that wasn’t my call to make, was it? And how I went about it was wrong and dishonest. I’m really sorry.” 
He tugged at a loose thread on the sofa while staring at you in earnest. There were so many things to say and not enough time in the night to say it. 
“You’re right. It wasn’t your call,” you said, furrowing your brows. “I wish you would’ve told me you were feeling this way all those years ago. I loved you--regardless of what you may have thought. And what you said really hurt me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up and hurt you more deeply than I could’ve ever imagined. You felt like you couldn’t have feelings for anyone for all those years because of what I did, and if I could take it all back, I would.” 
His hand trembled slightly as he reached out to cup your face, pulling away harshly before he could touch you. 
“You deserve to find love, Y/N. Even if it’s not with me because I know I have no right to anyone’s heart after what I did--”
“Hey, don’t say that!” you interrupted, a wrinkle forming as you scrunched up your nose. You frowned at him. “You deserve to find love again, too. You may have messed up a few times, and I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t hurt, but I still care about you. A lot. And just because you made some really bad decisions doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to ever be happy.” 
He looked down at his lap, hands curled into fists by his side. You had the sinking suspicion he didn’t believe you.
Swallowing your pride, you inched closer to him, lightly lifting his chin so he stared at you face-to-face. The dark purple of his eyes stormed as a conflicted expression overcame him and you wanted to run a finger over his brow and brush the insecurities away.
Quietly, you whispered, “You’re so worthy of love, Hitoshi. And it makes me so sad that you still haven’t realized it.” 
You felt a piece of your heart chip as he pulled away from you, gritting his teeth as he hung his head. When he spoke, his voice sounded choked, as if he was holding back tears.
“You’ve shown me too much kindness,” he said, words shakey. “Even after I assumed you cheated and broke up with you in the cruelest way possible--” 
His voice cracked and he couldn’t speak. With his gaze avoiding yours he pushed himself off the couch.
“God, I’m sorry,” Hitoshi muttered, his face a look of self-disdain. “I shouldn’t even be here in your life right now. I should just--”
Your hand grabbed the one he used to shove himself off your sofa, holding his fingers tight in between yours. With your head bowed, you called, “Don’t leave again. Not yet.”
He froze in his spot, one leg immobile in front of the other in the direction of the door. Desperately, you tugged at his arm so he looked back at you. Your eyes pleaded with him. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be the end until you received your closure and Hitoshi received his. 
“You know that night we played Truth or Drink?” you asked, breaking the silence. 
He stared back at you curiously, slowly sitting down as you patted the seat next to you. Cautiously, he nodded in response.
That night was a pivotal time in bonding with your mememate and it was the closest you had felt with anyone besides your best friends.
Continuing, you said, “You told me about your dad cheating on your mom. And then seeing me and Denki the next day after I lied about who I was with.” 
There was no accusatory tone in your voice, and you stated it as if you were recalling the facts. But still, Hitoshi winced. 
“Yeah, shit.” He placed his palm over his forehead, rubbing at his temple as he grimaced. “I really just jumped to conclusions like that and it was unfair to you. I’m so sorry.”
You didn’t reply to his apology, but gave him a small smile. “That night, I told you I thought your response was understandable. It made sense that you were mistrustful at the time. Especially after just finding out about your parents-- People I know you looked up to. Even in regards to love.” 
Hitoshi wore a guarded expression, but still listened keenly to what you had to say. 
“Toshi… My opinion on that doesn’t change just because I now know it was me you were talking about.” 
“Y/N--”
“Don’t get me wrong,” you clarified, not wanting to sound too lenient. “I’m still hurt that you couldn’t trust me. I wish you confronted me so we could’ve cleared up the misunderstanding. I wish you hadn’t stood me up on our anniversary date. But most importantly… I wish I could have been there for you when you found out about your parents.” 
Hitoshi sat there in silence, mouth opening but unable to form the sentences he wanted. 
You gave him a look of regret, one hand still not letting go of his even as he stayed seated beside you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”
“It’s not your fault. At all.”
As you shook your head, he faltered. “Still, you went to America, alone, and never told anyone what was wrong. You kept all these feelings to yourself this whole time and I hate that so much.” 
“I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t deserve to--”
Your fingers twitched. How many times was he going to beat himself while he was already down? 
“Stop saying that!” you snapped, unable to contain your emotions. “You are not a burden. And you deserve so much more than you think you do.” 
His eyes widened at your outburst and his lips parted slightly. 
“It’s good you know what you did was wrong-- You can’t pretend lying and making assumptions was okay because it’s not. But you know it’s not! And you acknowledge that and it seems like you regret it.” Your voice took on a desperate tone as you tried to get Hitoshi to see his mistakes as something separate from his worth as a whole. “You’ve made mistakes, but you can grow from them. Fucking up doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love and happiness. You don’t have to take all the blame onto yourself.” 
“How can I not take the blame?” he asked, his frustration at himself matching yours. “If I had been a better boyfriend, I would have trusted you more. If I had been a better person, I wouldn’t have lied to you. And maybe if I had been a better son, my parents--”
As if your body had a mind of its own, you threw your arms around him in a hug before he could finish his sentence. You heard a sharp inhale come from him as he sat, rigid.
“Don’t,” you whispered, breathing harshly as you held him tight. “Please, Toshi. Don’t say that. If no one ever told you this, please listen to me then. It’s not your fault. Your parents divorcing has nothing to do with your worth. Don’t blame yourself for the issues they had.” 
His shoulders were still tense despite the shudder of tears you felt.
“You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. Hold yourself accountable, yes. Always strive to be a better person, yes. But don’t think it’s all your fault,” you pleaded. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own. You can lean on someone, Toshi.” You gently stroked the hair on the back of his head. “You can lean on me.” 
At your words, you felt him visibly relax, his body free of the tension as you held him close. 
Suddenly, his arms wrapped around you as he returned your embrace, his strong hands firmly gripping your waist as if he never wanted to let you go. You found yourself loosening up at his touch and you placed your head in his chest. 
Peering up at him through your lashes, you said, “I don’t know if you need to hear this, but I need to say it.” 
His thumb stroked the length of your spine as you continued. 
“I forgive you, Hitoshi. For everything.” He stopped moving as he looked at you in surprise. You simply smiled at him. “Your apologies were genuine and so is your regret. I know you’re a good person and I forgive you, so please stop blaming yourself now.” 
“Thank you, Y/N. So much.” He pulled away ever so slightly, feelings of guilt still flooding him. “But I feel like I still don’t deserve it though--”
A noise of protest bubbled up at your throat. “I swear to god, if I hear the d-word come out of your mouth again, I’ll make you shut up.” After a moment’s pause, you tried to hide your laughter. “Heh. D-word.”
“Oh my god,” he said, his amusement escaping him. With his arms still around your waist, he challenged, “How would you make me shut up?”
You wiggled your eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 
Hitoshi laughed a genuine laugh that you haven’t heard in years. The deep rumble had a smile of your own forming on your lips. 
But the mood turned serious when you gazed into his eyes again.
“Really, though…” you said, squeezing the fabric at his sides. “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way for so long without telling anyone. I hope you know you can always talk to me.” 
He tilted his head back, staring at your ceiling as you caught sight of his Adam’s apple. “Why are you being so nice to me after how much I hurt you?”
“Because I care about you,” you answered simply. “And I know you still care about me. You wouldn’t be this hung up over everything if you didn’t.” 
There was a sort of smugness in you as you teased him and he let out a breath of laughter. 
“Hah. I do. I care about you. And I’ve missed you so much.” 
You didn’t think it was possible, but he hugged you even closer to him. Your arms released their embrace on Hitoshi as you brought them to your sides. He looked down at you with a strange expression.
“I’ve missed you, too,” you admitted, squeezing your eyes shut as if it pained you. “You’re the first and only person I’ve ever loved and I miss you more than you could ever know.” 
Your head was bowed at his chest as you tried to steady your trembling hands by grasping the fabric at the front of his shirt.
“Why did you never call me? Why didn’t you tell me you were moving to another continent? Toshi, I loved you so much--” Your voice broke off as the tears you were holding in escaped you. “Why did you leave me?” 
His fingers were laced in your hair, holding you tight. He wanted nothing more than to soothe your tears and hated himself for being the cause of them. “I’m an insecure idiot who fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him.” 
Through the blur of tears, you saw the wistful look on his face. The best thing? you thought to yourself, touched. 
“No amount of apologizing is going to fix anything,” he said, accepting it as a fact, “but I am so sorry. And I want you to know I’m grateful the person who AirDropped me that day was you.”
He lifted your chin and wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb. Your knees were touching his thighs as you sat down with your legs folded under you, facing him. Letting go of the grip you had on his shirt, you unballed your fists and instead rested your palms on his chest.
You grinned at the audacity of it all. “I still can’t believe that happened. But I’m glad it did, too.”
“Must be a small world.”
“Or maybe it’s fate.” Your hand found his as you interlocked pinkies with him bashfully. 
Hitoshi looked down at your interlaced fingers and a light dusting of pink colored his cheeks. A sense of enjoyment filled you as he continued to blush, a teasing grin playing on your face. 
Before you lost any courage you had, you pressed your lips against the corner of his mouth-- Not quite a kiss but most definitely an invitation for one.
The red on his cheeks died down as his eyes darkened in color, removing his hand from your waist to cup your jaw. Hitoshi’s palm was warm and soft against you and you leaned into his caress.
“Do you feel like you got the closure you needed?” he asked, his voice a whisper as he leaned close to you. 
“Yes.” You nodded, painfully aware of your close proximity. If you were to lift your head up any more, your lips would brush against his. “Do you?”
“Yes.” 
His forehead was pressed against yours and your heart was being so hard, you were certain Hitoshi could hear it from his spot in front of you.
After a moment’s silence, you said, “Now what?” 
He shrugged, eyes shut. “That’s up to you to decide. I’m happy with doing whatever will make you happiest. And if that means leaving you alone and letting you close this chapter, then I--”
You yelped, silencing him with a gentle shove on the chest.
“Are you crazy?” you asked incredulously. “You think I would ever let you go again?” There was frustration in your voice as you resisted the temptation to kiss the stupidity out of him. “I… I mean, unless that’s what you want?” 
“Y/N…” Now he was the one with the tone of disbelief, like he couldn’t wrap his mind around what you had just said. “I’d want to stay with you. For as long as you’d let me.”
“O-Oh?” Your eyes widened in shock, but soon settled into an ecstatic smile. “Fate must have done us a favor with all this AirDrop stuff, huh? I fell for you all those years ago as Shinsou, and I fell for you again without even knowing who you were. There’s no way I’d throw that chance away.” 
Tired of waiting for him to make the first move, you brought your hands to the back of his neck, and lifted your head up to meet his. You spotted an amused look on his face, but it didn’t last very long when your lips finally pressed against his with a contented sigh.
His movements were gentle and slow, like he was afraid if he kissed you any harder he would find this was only an illusion that would shatter. But it wasn’t. It was real and it was genuine and you wanted to prove it to him. 
You broke away from his touch to pepper chaste kisses on his jawline, starting at the lobe of his ear and making your way down to the sensitive part of his throat you knew would drive him crazy, your hot breath blowing against his neck as a guttural sound escaped him.
“Eager, are we?” he asked hoarsely, his chin lifted. 
You grinned mischievously against him.
“As much as I appreciate the gesture,” said Hitoshi, gently pushing you away with a roguish glint in his eyes, “you don’t always have to keep giving. You should be spoiled for a change.”
You squealed when his hands trailed down your sides to cup the undersides of your thighs, lifting you up as you sat down on his lap. His hands unclasped the button that fastened his coat on you and brushed the collar aside, exposing the supple skin on your upper chest.
“You should be spoiled,” he breathed in between each kiss he planted on your decolletage, “every day of your life.”
Your face burned at the implication of his words, the skin his mouth had touched feeling like they were searing hot. Though his jacket had fallen off your shoulders, you were still overwhelmed by his scent, the woodsy citrus filling your senses as you sighed his name and you still couldn’t get enough. He was more intoxicating than any vodka you had consumed earlier that night. 
Growing impatient at his teasing, you squirmed on his lap, causing him to hiss in response. 
You giggled at his expression and stuck your tongue out at him. “Just kiss me already.”
Tossing his inhibitions to the side, he obliged. 
When your lips met again, this time it wasn’t uncertain and gentle. Each move Hitoshi made was firm and deliberate and if you weren’t already sitting down, your knees would have gone weak and given in.
His teeth grazed your lower lip and he kissed you harder, and your hands found themselves tangled underneath the hem of his shirt. The skin on your arms filled with goosebumps as he mimicked your motions, his fingers toying with the clasp of your bra as his name escaped your lips once more in a strangled moan.
Before it could go any further, however, Hitoshi removed his hands from the band of your undergarments and slowly pulled away from your kiss. 
His face was flushed with beads of sweat falling down the side and his breathing was labored. You were certain you weren’t any better as you rested your forehead against his to steady yourself. 
“Why’d you stop?” you asked with a strained voice, giving him your best pleading eyes.
“It’s late and you need some rest, baby.” He pressed a soft kiss to your nose with a smile. “I don’t want to stop--believe me,” he promised, his hands squeezing your thighs that still straddled his lap, “but I also don’t want you to rush into anything you might regret.” 
You pouted, not wanting him to stop, but also feeling grateful he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to do anything you would regret the next day.
“Damn you for being such a gentleman,” you grumbled. 
He ran the tip of his tongue against his lower lip. It was plump and red and it took all your willpower not to kiss it again.
“Only sometimes, princess,” he said when he noticed how your gaze zeroed in on his mouth. “But for now, you should get ready for bed. The sun is almost rising already.” 
Hitoshi made a move to get up and you slowly unwrapped your legs from his hips, standing up shakily. He placed his hands on your hips to help you steady yourself, but that just made the weakness worse. 
Still holding you, he stood up from the couch and looked down at you, resting his chin on the top of your head as you hugged him. 
“You’re leaving?” you whimpered, a pout on your face. 
“Sadly,” he sighed. “I have work tomorrow. Well, in a few hours I suppose. But if you need me to stay I--”
“Oh, my god!” you cried, jumping away from him. “You have work? And yet you still came for me and let me keep you this whole time?! Toshi!” 
You folded your arms across your chest as you scolded him, but he just ruffled your hair playfully. 
“It was the least I could do,” said Hitoshi. “And I’m used to running on little to no sleep. It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” 
“It’s not fine! If you don’t get enough sleep this week I will smother you until you pass out.” You glared at him, holding his face between your hands and examining his tired eyes. Your gaze softened when you saw how sleepy he looked and thought about how well he hid it from everyone. You sighed. “And I think you’re a lot more selfless and caring than you give yourself credit for.” 
You kissed the apples of his cheeks and smoothed his brows. 
“Thank you for tonight,” you said. “You should get going.”
“No, you’re the one I should be thanking,” he replied, giving you one last embrace before getting ready to head towards the door. 
Both of your legs felt like lead, neither of you wanting to leave the other after years of being apart. With a smile, he moved towards the door. 
In silence, you examined him for the first time in four years. He was taller than before-- Bulkier, too. It looked like he worked out since he was in college, his plain shirt stretching against his pectoral muscles. 
But still, he was the same Shinsou Hitoshi you had always loved. 
You glanced at his bared arms and your eyes widened. “Oh, wait--! Your coat!” 
It had fallen off your shoulders and onto the floor during the heat of the moment, and you picked it up and brought it to him. As you held it out, his hands wrapped your outstretched ones around the fabric of his sweater. 
“No, it’s okay,” he said with a shake of his head and a small grin on his lips. “You should keep it. It suits you.”
You raised an eyebrow at him in warning, but hugged the coat to your body nonetheless. “I hope you know this means I’m never giving it back to you now.” 
Hitoshi laughed. “I figured.”
He was about to grab the door knob when you blurted, “O-Or maybe I could give it back to you! If we were to, I don’t know, meet up for some food this week?” 
Turning back in surprise, he was met with a look of utter embarrassment on your face. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire. 
You bit your lip, unsure what had just come over you when you asked him on a date but also not regretting it for a moment. 
“Only if you want,” you murmured, suddenly feeling more bashful. 
Taking the hint, Hitoshi looked at you with a mix of wonder and amusement. “Sure. I’ll get some food with you just to have my coat back.” 
You gasped, cheeks burning. “You know what? Never mind, I’m keeping this--!”
“I’m kidding,” he laughed, tone still teasing. “The jacket is just a bonus. What I’d really be there for is...the food.”
You buried your head in your hands and sighed. “I-- Why do I have to like you?” 
He shrugged, feeling just as lost as you were. “Because feelings are strange.” 
“They are,” you agreed. “But they’re worth it. And so are you.”
Hitoshi smiled as you gave him a gentle kiss goodnight. 
“Have a safe drive home, Toshi.”
“Thank you. Go get some sleep now, kitten. We can talk when you wake up.” 
You nodded feverishly, almost bouncing in anticipation at the thought of talking to him again. “I’m going to sleep right now so I wake up faster and get to talk to you sooner.”
A chuckle of surprise left his lips before he could stop himself. “You’re such a dork, you know? But I love that about you.”
Your face heated at the sound of the l-word as the two of you stared at each other, both in shock that the night happened and even happier that it did. 
“I… I should go now,” he said in a daze. He didn’t want to leave and you didn’t want him to, but you knew he had work soon. 
You nodded, waving at him as he left your house. “See you soon, Hitoshi.”
When the door closed shut behind him, you slumped a little. Tired and exhausted yet wishing you could see him soon. Though it might have been foolish, you couldn’t help but wish he was feeling the same.
Grabbing your phone on the coffee table, you unlocked it to check the time. You were about to shut it off and put it in your pocket when a notification bubble popped up on your screen.
“AirDrop: mememate would like to share a note,” it read, and a grin spread across your lips as you eagerly pressed accept. 
The notepad application immediately opened up on your phone and you read the small message on the off-white display.
mememate: can’t wait for our date, y/n. p.s. i really really like you.
Letting out a surprised cry of joy, you held your phone to your chest, hugging it along with Hitoshi’s jacket he had left you. 
From the other side of the door, Hitoshi had heard your scream and responded with a laugh of his own. A feeling of warmth in his heart as he placed his phone in his pocket and headed for his car. Thank goodness for AirDrop. 
Your heart was pounding and your lips were still pulsing from the way he kissed you. Even as you got ready for bed and drifted off into a restful sleep, the silly smile never fell from your face. 
You were grateful he came to get you at the nightclub, and you were grateful he was the recipient of your memes that day at the amusement park. 
He made mistakes in the past and you were no saint either, but you had an opportunity to heal those wounds and be with Hitoshi again. 
And you just couldn’t wait for your next date together. 
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a/n: AHHH THAT WAS A LOT,, pls let me know what you think! i know some readers never want to forgive shinsou at all and that’s okay, but i do think y/n forgives him and still really cares about him [and maybe l-words him? o.o] so i hope u support it 🥺 ilysm and thank you for reading! lmk ur thoughts !! xx 
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Leave, Then Go (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)
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Hello! Soooo... I did a thing. 
The response was positive, so I went with it. Double Lizzie! Excited to present you with the Wanda/ Leigh crossover! Let me know what you think, I’m actually excited about this!
Summary: Y/n works on mending bridges with Leigh when she meets the alluring Wanda Maximoff. 
After waiting for what felt like hours, the woman you were waiting for finally appeared. You scrambled to your feet as you rushed forward to meet her. Concern immediately took precedent when you were able to fully take in her appearance. 
She looked like a ghost of who she used to be. Beautiful, but void of life. 
The bags under her eyes were prominent and the naturally glimmering emerald eyes that you used to love were dull. Empty. Dark like a storm rather than bright like the sea. Her shoulders were slumped forward with the weight of life when she used to stand so tall before.
It was as though she had been drained of all the light that she used to radiate.
Guilt clawed angrily at your chest. “Leigh.” You breathed out, swallowing down the lump in your throat. 
When she met your eyes, her expression hardened. That was always a special talent of hers. Making you feel small with just a look. “What are you doing here?” 
“Hi Y/n. You look good. Thanks, I did start running again. Green juice, it does wonders.” You sarcastically began a conversation with yourself. If her defense mechanism was being cold, yours was humor. 
Leigh wasn’t amused by your antics in the slightest.
If looks could kill you’d be six feet under now. “What are you doing here?” She repeated in annoyance, heavily emphasizing every word. 
Everything about her posture screamed impatience. “I-I wanted to check on you sooner. I did.” You fearfully watched a disbelieving smile spread across her lips. You knew that look. She was about to tear you apart. “I know! I know. I’m way too late and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Leigh.” You rushed out, the words clumsily stumbling over one another as they tumbled from your lips. They were sincere though. You hoped she knew that.
“That’s not good enough.” The bite of her words made you flinch. Leigh moved to step around you, but you caught her arm.
You dropped your hand when you noticed her eyes fall to the place you made contact. “I know it’s not.” A heavy sigh escaped your lips. “By the time I heard the news, it had been months. Then it took me months to work up the courage to see you again… The last time we saw each other wasn’t exactly a… fond memory.”
Leigh’s eyes began analyzing you critically. You shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her gaze. “I needed you, Y/n. I needed you and you weren’t there.” Her eyes began to shine slightly with unshed tears.
The shame you felt made it impossible to maintain eye contact with the woman before you. “I know.” You whispered. “And I’m sorry, Leigh. Truly. I am. If you allow me, I’d like to earn your forgiveness. Your trust. To prove I can be there for you and be the friend you need.”
“Friend?” Leigh raised an eyebrow as she loosely crossed her arms. “If my memory serves me correctly that’s the reason you weren’t there in the first place.”
You awkwardly rubbed your arm. “Yes. Friend. I can do that. I can be that for you… If you give me the chance.”
Leigh stared at you intently, her eyes searching yours, for what you didn’t know. “No more grand declarations or ultimatums?” 
“No grand declarations or ultimatums.” You repeated as you smiled hesitantly back at her. 
You desperately tried to beat back the memory that lingered at the forefront of your mind. Of tear stained cheeks and white dresses.
After a tense moment of silence, Leigh nodded. “Probation.” She warned simply with a point of her finger as she moved around you to go into her house.
To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You expected her to tear you apart. Scream at you until she was blue in the face. “I’ll call you?” You called after her unsurely. “We can get coffee?”
“Mmm.” Leigh hummed flippantly over her shoulder, barely audible as she closed the door behind herself.
With a small smile you turned and began walking back in the direction of your own apartment. The conversation had gone better than you had dared to hope it would. Leigh could be cruel when she was hurt, and you knew you had hurt her. Leaving the conversation unscathed felt like nothing short of a miracle. 
___________________________
Lying awake in bed later that night, your mind couldn’t help but wander to Leigh. Not that those thoughts were anything out of the ordinary. Seeing her today though made you worry even more than usual. 
Hey. I don’t know if this is still
your number. It’s Y/n. 
Read 12:14 a.m
You watched the bubble appear and disappear at the bottom of the screen several times before your phone chimed with a reply. 
Is this a booty call?
Sent 12:19 a.m.
What? No! I just wanted
to check on you.
Read 12:20 a.m.
Surprising. 
Sent 12:21 a.m.
Surprising that it’s not
a booty call or surprising
that I’m checking on you?
Read 12:22 a.m.
You tell me.
Sent 12:22 a.m.
I really did want to check
on you, Leigh.
Read 12:24 a.m.
I’m fine. Goodnight.
Sent 12:25 a.m.
Goodnight, Leigh. I’ll be at 
Coffee Code tomorrow morning doing 
some work if you want to stop by.
Read at 12:26 a.m.
After a few minutes of silence, it was clear she wasn’t going to reply, so you allowed your eyes to close as you drifted into a restless sleep. Still haunted by the image of white dresses and tear stained cheeks. 
___________
The bustle of the early morning crowd at the local coffee shop was always a place of serenity for you. The sounds of everyone around you going on with their lives was calming white noise to you and made doing tasks easier. 
“Excuse me?” You looked up and smiled slightly, actually surprised that Leigh had taken you up on your offer. “Do you mind if I sit here with you? It’s pretty crowded.”
Relief was your initial response to seeing her. There was still sorrow in her eyes, but the resentment she regarded you with yesterday had faded. There was an air of shyness that she carried that was unfamiliar to you. 
Leigh was many things but timid was not one of them. “Of course not, I did invite you after all.” 
Her head tilted slightly, and her movements became hesitant as she sat across from you. “I’m sorry?” 
Nerves forced you to look away from her and fiddle with the cup of coffee before you. “Last night? I really was trying to check on you.” The smooth porcelain under your fingers distracted you from seeing the way the woman before you watched you with confusion. “You look beautiful today by the way.” 
Regret flooded your racing mind as soon as the words fell from your lips. The compliment was definitely overstepping the boundaries of friendship. 
A light blush spread across Leigh’s cheeks at your words. Odd. Leigh usually dismissed your compliments or rolled her eyes. “Um…” The other woman’s nose scrunched slightly. “I think you may have me confused with someone else.”
You weren’t sure what game she was playing, and it put you on edge. “Leigh, it’s obviously you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not your friend. My name is Wanda.” The woman informed you shyly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Your eyes widened in disbelief. This woman was the spitting image of Leigh. It wasn’t Leigh though. That much became clear the more you observed her.
For the first time since she sat down you were able to detect the subtle differences. Wanda’s hair was just a shade darker. The make-up she wore was just a tad more noticeable. The many rings stacked on her fingers were accessories that Leigh would never wear. 
More importantly, the way she carried herself. It was heavy and timid but lighter than Leigh. Something about Wanda reminded you of breaches of sunlight breaking through storm clouds rather than the perpetual storm that Leigh carried. The storm that always seemed to be moments away from sweeping you away. 
Wanda was beautiful. Obviously. She was beautiful in a way that was different than Leigh even though they looked identical. There were no sharp edges to her beauty. It was soft. Like the first break of day. Leigh’s beauty was all sharp edges threatening to cut you to your core at every turn. 
You didn’t know Wanda, but you wanted to.
“I’m so sorry!” You quickly apologized when you realized you had been spacing out. “I must have made you so uncomfortable! It’s just that you look exactly like my friend and she makes me nervous so I didn’t even notice the difference at first. You could be her twin-” Your nervous ramblings were cut short by a hand being placed over your own. 
Wanda smiled slightly and all you could do was cover your face in embarrassment. She must think you’re a psychopath. “It’s okay…” She trailed off and raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question.
It didn’t take long for you to catch on. “Oh! My name is Y/n.” You shook your head as you humiliated yourself even more with each passing minute. “I’m so embarrassed.”
The melodic sound of her laughter drifted into your ears causing your stomach to flip. “Don’t worry. I think it’s cute.” Your cheeks burned at her words. The chime of her phone interrupted the moment as she finally pulled her hand back. 
A small frown tugged at the corner of her lips as she read over the message on her phone. “Not to over step, but is everything okay?”
“Yes. I just need to leave now unfortunately.” You noticed an almost undetectable accent framed her words. The accent just made her all the more alluring to you. “Do you think I could have your number?” She asked shyly as she tugged at the sleeves of her sweater.
Without hesitation, you scrambled to find a pen and a loose scrap of paper to write your number on. “Here you go.” You both shared bashful smiles when your hands grazed one another.
With a small wave, and a soft smile Wanda turned to leave. “I’ll call you.” Excitement bubbled in your chest at the thought as you dreamily watched her walk out of the coffee shop.
“Okay. Am I going to regret coming?” You jumped at the unexpected appearance, causing you to spill your coffee. You mumbled several choice expletives under your breath as you desperately attempted to salvage the papers that you had spent the entire morning working on. 
Realizing that the attempts were futile you crumpled the papers and focused on drying the table. “We’re off to a great start already.” You heard Leigh sarcastically muse from her place across from you.
Nerves bloomed in your chest, knowing it was actually Leigh sitting across from you. You treaded forward cautiously. “S-sorry. I’m glad you made it out, Leigh. It’s good to see you.” You stuttered out. 
“I would ask how the coffee is, but it looks like the table would know more than you would.” Even more sarcasm. Definitely Leigh. Like you had noted when Wanda was there, Leigh was all sharp edges.
At the thought of Wanda, you leaned forward, pretending to not notice the way Leigh’s aloof attitude faltered slightly. “Do you have a twin?”
A dry laugh fell from Leigh’s lips. More controlled than Wanda’s. “What? Are you on drugs?” 
“I think I may have just met your twin.”
Leigh’s stare became cautious when she realized you weren’t joking.
There it is! Debating making this into a series. If I did should Wanda have powers or should she just be a normal person? Also how does the title Love Me (Or Let Me Go) sound? :) Let me know what you all think, I’m excited to hear back from you all! Thoughts and comments always welcome!
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im-whatchamccallit · 3 years
Text
Fixed On//ATEEZ (OT8)
Pairing: ATeez (OT8) x Fem!Reader (Non-romantic)
Genre: Slight angst, psychological if you’re paranoid enough, majority fluff
Warnings: Mentions of stalking
Word count: 3.4k
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You told yourself it was the lack of sleep from the three days you spent studying for your finals catching up to you, that the shadows you saw in your peripheral and the faint footsteps you heard behind you as you drowsily ran errands were simply hallucinations. You told yourself it was all in your head, but how could you believe that now that you were aware of him?
You had simply gone out to grab groceries, just a seven minute walk from your apartment that wouldn’t take any more energy from your already exhausted body, just craving a home cooked meal before crashing for the next two days. But you could practically hear his breathing as he circled around you in the produce section, feel his eyes staring at the back of your head while you selected a pack of beef and, now, you could see him clear as day as you trailed down the empty streets. You were tempted to stay in the grocery store to stall him, praying he got bored and left, but you made the mistake of going at 9:30 at night, the cashiers urging you to go as they closed at 10. Not a problem, you could just head home, right? But you couldn’t, the looming fear he’d find out where you lived making you whimper in distress. To add insult to injury, you left your cell phone at home because you didn’t think your trip would take so long and most stores were closed now, the street lights and your two bodies the only signs of life in the silent night.
You’d been walking for almost twenty minutes now, passing by your apartment reluctantly with aching feet and a spinning head, your eyes brimmed with tears as you tried to push on in case he caught up to you and hoping your $15 beef hadn’t gone bad by now. You need a miracle, something to ease your anxiety and get you home and away from the unidentified man. And, in the midst of your unfortunate predicament, you saw it: a 7-Eleven.
Your body picked up speed as you rushed inside, the place bright and lively despite only you and the cashier being present and the radio playing softly in the background, the tightness in your chest disappearing with each passing second. You gasped softly at the sound of the door’s chime, your head darting to see the hooded figure from before stepping inside and making an abrupt turn to the candy aisle. What now?
You tried to stay natural, moving to the fridge to pick out a soda that you didn’t want, glancing over to see the man adjacent to you mindlessly picking up bags of chips only to put them down once again, looking in your direction every so often to make sure you haven’t moved. And you did, floating about the store with no destination and him still on your tail, the teenager behind the register not caring as the both of you played a game of hide and seek that left your safety up to fate.
It seemed like you were hopeless but, for some reason, you were starting to get luckier as the night progressed, the door chiming and the boisterous chatter of men filling the fairly spacious convenience store.
“Get anything you want, we’re charging it to Hwa’s card.”
“Like hell you are! Pay for yourselves!”
Laughter followed the bickering of two of the guys echoed off the walls before they spread out, some going in pairs to different sections and some on their own, but the one standing alone in front of a rack of limited edition snacks just so happened to catch your gaze first. He was tall, wearing a coat that looked cute on him but made his upper body appear to be broad and muscular underneath, his face blank and firm as if he’s never smiled a day in his life. He was scary, and perfect.
Yunho’s lips were threatening to form a pout as he struggled to choose. Would he rather have a snack form Japan or Indonesia tonight? Both looked so good but he couldn’t bring himself to choose.
“I’ll get both.” He said under his breath before grabbing both bags, gasping loudly as a pair of arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
“Oppa, I thought you had work tonight!” You squealed in a faux happy voice, smiling brightly up at the wide and horrified gaze the man gave you.
“W-what?”
“Some guy’s been following me for a while now. Please, just pretend you know me.” You said in a hushed tone, smile faltering as you glanced over to the fridge you once occupied, the eyes you had feared all night staring directly at you, a soft whine leaving you as you peered back at the strange man you latched yourself to, praying he saved you in any way he could.
You gasped as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you until your head was flush against his chest, his once stoic face now adorned with a content smile.
“I texted you that I was free but you didn’t respond! I really wanted to see you tonight.” He said in a cute yet teasing tone, your head thrown back to see him smiling down at you, giving a subtle but clear wink to let you know he was on your side, your eyes stinging as you tried not to cry in the unknown male’s arms.
“How about we go grabs some snacks and head back to my apartment? I’ll pay.” He said with a gentle smile, your head nodding reluctantly.
You both made your way to the back of the store where his friends continued to joke and bicker, Yunho’s arm not leaving you for a second although his smile was gone now, eyes still puppy like yet hard.
Considering he was a fairly large guy, it was easy for the others to catch on to his presence but, upon turning to face their groupmate, they found themselves more focused on your meek appearance hiding safely under his arm. You could feel your face burning in both embarrassment and unease at the way they eyed you and the man.
“Who is this?” One asked, his hair a beautiful royal blue and eyes just as sweet as your large bodied savior’s, the way our eyes immediately diverted from his causing a few to laugh but the way you gasped in horror as your eyes locked with your almost hour long stalker, body trembling as you opted to look at the ground. You just wanted to go home.
“This is…. Princess! My girlfriend!” Yunho said, suddenly realizing neither of you knew each other’s names.
“If he’s holding you hostage, blink twice.” Another spoke, his eyes cat-like and face sculpted to reveal his dimples as he smiled playfully at you.
“Why’s it so hard to believe I can get a girlfriend? Bunny, go pick out something to eat. We’ll wait for you so we can pay.” Yunho said affectionately, giving a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder at the way your eyes widened in fear at him, his head nodding you onward as he silently told you he had a plan, eyes never leaving you as you cautiously moved to the glass casing filled with pastries.
“Seriously, Yunho, who is she?” Seonghwa asked, voice low as the other watched you closely. You were holding two plastic grocery bags filled with vegetables and meat, you were probably a university student based on your lazy but comfortable choice of clothing. Nothing about you seemed alarming, but your sudden introduction as Yunho’s girlfriend was enough to make them suspicious.
“Look at the guy in the hoodie. She said he followed her here.” He said in a hushed voice, the unknown man creepily moving close by you before closing in on a sealed pack of donuts but giving you a once-over now that he was close enough to get a better look at you.
You felt your jaw clench as to not cry out for help and set him off. He was only a few feet away from you now, able to grab and harm you just by extending his arm if you dared to alert anyone. That wasn’t a risk you wanted to take.
“Did he follow her car or something? Why would she stop here?” Wooyoung asked.
“Obviously she didn’t drive. She would’ve left her bags in her car if she did.” Yeosang responded, a few of their eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
“Wait, but the only grocery store nearby is almost ten minutes away.” Jongho chimed in.
“By car. If she walked, that would be almost 25 minutes.” Mingi concluded, their bodies running cold at the realization, taking in the severity of your situation.
You tried to seem casual, to make sure he was unaware of the sudden initiation of eight strangers planning to get you away from him as quickly as possible but, in the midst of your overthinking, you managed to wander off to the back of the store, eyes locked on the stands full of ramen in both impatient anxiousness and genuine wonder. There’s no doubt the beef you bought was no good at this point, and that constant walking you’d done really built up your appetite. You couldn’t let the boys pay for you, especially after offering their protection to keep you safe. But, you had your wallet on you, and you had to get in line with them anyways so they can pay for their snacks, so why not grab dinner for yourself while you were at it?
You mindlessly searched for the one you usually ate, even wondering if you should grab two in case you were hungry later while shifting to hold both bags of food in one hand, almost missing the set of eyes on you. Almost.
It felt like before when you were in the grocery store, body freezing as you listened closely but this time aware of the threating presence, only unaware of how close he was now. You slowly let your body rise, not wanting to let your guard down as you finally heard footsteps, the faint chatter of the boys snapping you from your daze as you tried to hurry back to them, yelping as you crashed into a warm body before you.
You held your breath, peering up cautiously before seeing a familiar and bright smile, his jaw slim but chiseled. He was the stranger’s friends, and he was cute. If you weren’t so worried about getting the hell back home safely, maybe you could’ve gotten a better look at each one to see if they were all this stunning.
“Uhm, P-Princess,” Seonghwa cringed at the pseudonym, not sure why Yunho couldn’t just ask for your actual name to begin with.
“We’re getting ready to pay. You got everything you need?”
You glanced at the bowl of instant ramen before nodding, Seonghwa eagerly taking it from your hands to leave it unoccupied, but that didn’t last long as he grasped it to guide you beside him, your sides practically touching. It was a bit confusing, it made you worried that your act would be found out by the mysterious guy following you. But Seonghwa was no idiot, his observation skills heightened since he was brought into your escape plan, trying hard to not send a glare to the creep standing in the place you were moments ago. If he hadn’t noticed him moving closer, who knows what would’ve happened to you.
“Hey, ready?” Yunho asked you softly, your head nodding once more as they began to hand their items to the still disinterested boy behind the register, your eyes examining their mannerisms.
You were a little wary about blindly asking for their help but, from the way they immediately took on the task to protect you by staying at your side, and even now as the short but equally as model-like blue-haired guy complained that he thought they were using ‘Seonghwa’s’ card, only to be met with teasing ‘Thank you, mom’ chants from the remainder which left him looking a bit disgruntled, you knew they were nothing to fear.
You moved forward as they trailed on to the side, setting down your ramen as Yunho kept his place next to you, moving to pull out his wallet but you immediately snatched your hand from Seonghwa’s wanting to give a quick apology but needing to pay before he had the chance to.
“Don’t worry, I can-“
‘It’s only a dollar, Princess, it’s fine.” Yunho said while handing cash to the man, a faint warmth creeping to your cheeks at how casually he used that newly established nickname.
You thanked the man as you grabbed onto yet another bag for the night, all of you eagerly leaving the store and into the parking lot, the suffocating atmosphere now dissipating into relief as you took in a breath of fresh air. That man didn’t follow you out, the ambience felt so light and fun with the group of men joking ahead of you as they walked to a van with a very bold ‘ATEEZ’ on the side, your jaw nearly hitting the ground.
You’ve heard of their group, their music everywhere yet never had the time or desire to actually look them up, which would explain why you didn’t recognize them immediately. Although, the cat-eyed one went viral not too long ago for his charismatic dancing and now, watching him and a tanned guy with a mole beneath his eye he pointed and referred to as ‘Woo’ laugh at something said by the blue haired man while the tall one, one that resembled a prince and fairy all in one, and one that looked scary until he showed a smile so sweet it managed to make him look more youthful, you realized they were all hot. And suddenly the intimidation you thought you were free from came rushing back to you.
“Hey,” The sudden voice pulled you from your thoughts, a yelp leaving you as you faced the first one you met, his smile falling a bit but recovering just as fast.
“Didn’t mean to scare you. Just need to know your address so we can take you home.” He held up his cellphone and a navigation system, your eyes wide as you looked between him and the bright phone screen. They could’ve honestly left you there once that man stopped pursuing you, yet they were still looking after you.
“Or I could call you a cab. We know you probably don’t want to be around a ton of strangers right now.”
“N-no! Thank you, so much, I’m just really thankful I found you guys.”
“Hey, it only cost us a dollar to help you, and I don’t think any of us would feel right just leaving you to protect yourself from that guy.” Yunho said gently.
His tone and eyes were telling you he was being sincere, not that you needed any more convincing to trust him or his friends. Not to mention he was right about you needing a ride home, reality kicking in that you still didn’t have your phone on you and, if your groceries weren’t completely wasted by now, you still had some time to save them.
With a small smile you took his phone from his hands, typing in your address and passing it back to him, your body turning to match his as you head towards the van, the faint sounds of the boys arguing over who would drive and all agreeing that none of them wanted to, leading to an intense game of rock-paper-scissors that Yunho gladly stayed out of, a small giggle threatening to erupt from your lips.
“By the way, you guys don’t feel like strangers. Especially with your group’s name plastered on the side of your car.” You joked, a simple ‘Ah’ leaving him as you stared at you with a smirk, almost a silent way to say he’s discovered your dirty secret.
“You know, at first I thought you were a fan or something and that’s why you came up to me. I didn’t think I’d be right.”
“Uh, actually, I don’t know anything about you guys. I didn’t know you were ‘ATEEZ’ until I saw, well, that.” You gestured back to the vehicle where the boys began to disperse and enter the car, but the loud and bitter comments of them not wanting ‘Mingi’ to drive filling the air followed by an authoritative ‘Do you wanna do it?!’ from the blue-head. Were they aware of how unintentionally funny they were?
“Well, in that case, I’m Yunho.” He smiled, a genuine one that made you breathe out in contentment.
“I’m (Y/n).”
Your introduction was brief, followed by a silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, lingering in the air as you both made it to the van, easing your way inside and finding a seat next to the blue-head and prince-faced boy, giving a small nod and smile that he shyly returned, the three boys behind you too preoccupied in their phones to acknowledge you and, suddenly, the silence gone as Yunho spoke up from his awkward position of setting up his phone to the dashboard, the faint voice of the navigation arising in the background.
“You should introduce yourselves to (Y/n)!”
“Her name’s (Y/n)?” The one in the driver’s seat asked as he started the engine, peering to you from the rear view mirror with bright eyes before putting the car into drive.
“My name is Mingi.”
“I’m Seonghwa.” The guy from the passenger seat said to you as he turned to wave.
“I’m Choi San.” Cat eyes said from behind you, giving a dimpled smile that you easily returned.
“I am Jongho, and this is Wooyoung.”
“Hey! I can introduce myself!” You jumped slightly at the boom of ‘Wooyoung’s’ voice, giving a bewildered look at how fast he went back to his calm and charismatic self.
“I’m Wooyoung.” He reached his hand out to you, which you slowly took as you tried to calm down the giggles bubbling inside of you.
“Yeosang.” The one beside you said meekly, not giving you eye contact as he scrolled through his social media.
“And my name’s Hongjoong!” The blue-haired guy said, giving an enthusiastic wave that was slowly swallowed by the oversized sweater he wore, your breath caught in your throat from how cute he was.
“It’s nice to meet you all and, thank you, so much, for helping me tonight.”
“It’s no problem, we just wanted to make sure you stayed safe.” Mingi stated. You would’ve thought his deep voice would be drowned out by the van’s engine but you heard him perfectly.
“But what made you think we weren’t the creeps? You’re probably in a car full of murders and you don’t even know it-“
“Shut the hell up, Wooyoung, you’re scaring her!” Seonghwa yelled from the front, a hand landing on top of your head to give a small ruffle, your eyes following it to Hongjoong who peered past Yeosang’s head to see you.
“Don’t worry, we’re all good guys.”
“He’s lying! He yells at us all the time!” Jongho whined with a pout, slowly letting it grow into a smirk as Hongjoong glared at him playfully.
“Because none of you listen!” Hongjoong snapped back, an amused laugh from San echoing through the vehicle.
“Oh no, dad’s mad.”
“I’m stuck with ungrateful kids, of course I’m mad!” You couldn’t help but laugh, their bickering growing by the second as the car ride progressed.
It was funny how quickly they forgot there was a stranger riding with them, having conversations that you couldn’t understand about an idol life that you had no part in, Yunho attempting to remind them of your presence to make you feel included, eventually leading you to discuss university life that they couldn’t quite understand and, as mundane as it seemed, was still a bit entertaining.
You could see the familiar street light with a poster for part-time employment at the nearby seafood shop taped to it, signaling you were approaching your apartment a lot sooner than you expected and, as relieved as you were to finally be home and to relax from the horrifying encounter you had, you didn’t want to leave.
These boys, as loud and strange as they were, were peaceful to be around and a comfort you didn’t know you needed. You weren’t really aware of ATEEZ, who they were or the music the produced, but you knew they were good people, and maybe this night was enough to keep your mind fixed on them.
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honeymoonjin · 3 years
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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 5.9k || ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut - rated 18+
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ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: cursing, panic attack
A/N: apologies for my tgm crimes here but i gotta keep you on your toes since you have the old plan. also i'm not going to spoil anything but day 25 has one of my fav scenes in the show so far ;;-; so please enjoy this chapter and i will continue to work hard to finish the following one and get back into the posting routine!
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DAY TWENTY-FOUR
You’re roused from sleep by the feathered sensation of fingertips on your jaw. Twitching slightly, you try and move away from it, burrowing deeper into the warm, gently rocking pillow your head is propped up on.
Before you can slip back under, however, the fingers give one last attack: a sudden flick to your cheek that echoes with a thwack. You flinch and furrow your brows, grumbling your displeasure since your words haven’t quite found you yet.
“Get up, sleepyhead, unless you’d rather I just piss in the bed.”
That’ll do it. You shoot up so quickly your vision swims, one side of your face feeling cold without the comfort of Yoongi’s chest. “Fuck you, go pee,” you slur, eyes still half-closed, the morning glare peeking through a gap in his curtains.
Yoongi happily but hurriedly trots off to the bathroom, giving you a moment of respite to collect yourself. It takes a few moments to recall the previous night, not just the way Yoongi’s voice had made you cum in your room, but also the way it later lulled you to sleep as he told you hushed stories of his childhood or anecdotes from his days as a sex education teacher.
You can even hear his voice now, just barely slipping under the crack of the door, humming and singing under his breath as he washes his hands.
When he finally exits, you’re propped up by pillows, duvet tucked over your knees and eyes crinkled fondly at his bedhead.
“Oh, no,” he starts with a frown, “you better get that look off of your face.”
Your smile drops. “What?”
Taming his hair with a few flat strokes, he shakes his head. “I need somebody sane in this house to talk to. You aren’t allowed to fall in love with me, it’s conflict of interest.”
Mouth dropping open, it takes you a few minutes to note the subtle curl to his lips. “You dick! I’m certainly not planning on it, don’t flatter yourself.”
“Hey,” he defends in a drawl, no attempt at modesty as he shucks his pyjamas before browsing his chest of drawers, “it’s been done before. You come for the massive dick and stay for the massive heart.” He pauses, shoulder muscles flexing as he reaches in to a drawer, pulling out a pair of dark wash jeans. “Stop looking at my ass, I’m trying to lecture you.”
On the contrary, you lower your gaze and narrow in on it. “You’re starting to develop a little bubble butt, Yoongi. It’s very cute.” Not leaving him time to protest, you barrel on. “Besides, your dick isn’t that big.”
“That’s only because you’re comparing mine to hyung’s. And Namjoon’s. And… And Jungkook’s, I guess. And-” Suddenly he cuts himself off, throwing himself back on the bed with his back hunched in despair. “Fuck, do I have a small dick?”
“Mm, not really,” you dismiss easily, deciding to finally get out of bed and pick out your own clothes - selecting them from Yoongi’s drawers, of course. He makes no protest, still staring blankly at the jeans in his hands. “You just have steep competition here. There’s nothing wrong with small dicks, either. They’re cute.”
Now visible from your angle, Yoongi’s face twists in a grimace. “But my dick isn’t small, right?”
You shrug, slipping on one of his FG shirts and a pair of sweatpants loose enough that you have to knot the drawstrings. “If it helps you sleep at night.”
He spares one somber glance down between his legs before he slips on a pair of underwear, finally stepping into the jeans. There’s a brief period of comfortable silence, before he lets out a small sigh. “Can I… Can I confess something to you?”
Although a quip would be easy enough to say, you sense the joking is over. “Of course, Yoongi,” you assure instead, sitting cross-legged on the unmade bed beside him. He doesn’t meet your eye, busying himself with slipping a shirt over his head. “What’s up?”
Once he’s fully dressed, he still keeps his eyes low. “When you- On Monday, when you voted out Jin-hyung. I was so glad.”
You pause for a moment. “Because you wanted him out of the competition?” you venture, but he shakes his head dully.
“Because I thought he might look at me again if he didn’t have you.”
Something sinks in your stomach, cold enough to make you shiver. The guilt in Yoongi’s voice doesn’t conceal the open vulnerability of his expression as he fiddles with his bitten fingernails. “What do you mean, Yoongi?”
“What him and I had earlier wasn’t healthy, I know that,” he defends to himself, “but… I still miss it. I miss him. But even when I spoke to him after the elimination, all he would talk about was you. And I can’t even be mad, because I get it. And I- If I’m honest,” he murmurs, feet scuffing restlessly on the carpet, “I don’t even know what I’m wanting to achieve by telling you this, but I couldn’t stand not having anybody know about it. I never wanted it to get this messy. I told myself I wouldn’t let my feelings get caught up. But I think a little heartbreak would be worth it, for him. Is that stupid?”
You feel so unanchored, like there’s nothing for you to grab onto to steady yourself. More so, you feel entirely incapable of helping your friend like you so desperately want to. “It’s not stupid,” you begin, reaching out to cup one of his hands snugly between the two of yours, head resting on his shoulder in solidarity, “and I’m so sorry. Does he- does he know you feel this way?”
“I don’t think so,” Yoongi admits in a low voice, leaning into your touch. “If he does, then he must not like me since he’s not acknowledging it. And if he doesn’t, then he must have never even considered me like that. I know I was a distraction at best.”
You knit your brows together, deep in thought to try and find the right words to say. “Or perhaps he knows and he’s respecting your boundaries by letting you initiate, especially since he was the one who took advantage of you last time. And perhaps he doesn’t know, and it’s only because he’s so caught up in his own feelings that he hasn’t considered that you may feel the same. You just don’t know these things, Yoongi. I didn’t know how you felt either until you told me.”
He nods slowly, jerkily. “Yeah,” he says weakly. “Jungkook said almost the exact same thing, actually.”
You pull back slowly, curiosity colouring your tone. “Jungkook?”
Yoongi manages a shy smile, cheeks colouring slightly. “He approached me. We- we talk a lot, way more than hyung and I ever did. I know Kookie has a crush on me, and we said we’d take things slow, but dammit, I can’t help but like the kid.”
You let a surprised laugh bubble up your throat. “That- I was not expecting that, but I’m so glad, Yoongi. Even if you don’t have Jin, I’m glad you’re letting yourself be happy with others.”
His smile falters. “Is it greedy that liking Jungkook doesn’t make me want Jin-hyung any less?”
You go still, thinking of your own blooming feelings for... Well, for most of the people in this house, if not - at least a little bit - all of them. “I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “I’d like to think not.”
Yoongi lifts his gaze to you, carefully studying your face. “Do you ever worry,” he begins, so softly that you have to strain to make the words out, “that our feelings have been set up. By the show, I mean.” His brows furrow deeper. “We’re living in a practical paradise - luxurious house with no real jobs, our food is paid for, we’re literally getting rewarded to have sex. It’s so artificial, you know? So who’s to say that our feelings are artificial, too? I- I’ve been thinking about that a lot,” he admits with a pensive stare.
You can’t lie. You nod. “I’d like to think not,” you repeat hollowly, “but… I mean, yeah, this feels like some alternate reality, and thinking of any of you in normal, mundane, real-life scenarios seems so strange. Like, can you picture Hoseok sitting down and doing his taxes?”
Yoongi snorts, shaking his head in bemusement as a line of tension eases from his shoulders. “I hope he hires an accountant. I certainly wouldn’t trust him with my money.”
You let out a deep sigh and fall backwards onto the duvet, air punched out of you on impact. “The thing is, Yoongi,” you declare in a matter-of-fact tone, “we have no way of knowing what life will be like once all this is wrapped up so why even bother worrying?”
He turns slightly, just enough to watch you warily over his shoulder. “Maybe because I could get my heart broken?”
You pout at him. “Tell me how that’s any different from developing a crush in real life?”
He opens his mouth, furrows his brows, and closes it again. “I- Ugh. Fuck you for being correct.”
Pleased with yourself, you hide your grin as you playfully knock his side with your foot, making him recoil with a groan. “Be as cautious or as impulsive as you want, but even if all this is fake, you could’ve just as easily developed those feelings outside of the show. Like come on, if you saw Jin in the grocery store don’t tell me you wouldn’t fall in love on sight!”
Yoongi shakes his head again, a wry smile playing at his lips. “I see your point… and now I’m picturing Jin getting groceries and looking hot doing it...wow.”
You cackle at the dazed look on Yoongi’s face, using his arm to pull yourself up off the bed, patting him on the shoulder. “Good talk, champ. I’m off to chow down on the leftover pork from last night. Care to join me?”
His eyes glitter, but the doctor declines. “Yoonji said she blackmailed one of the production team to bring her fried chicken from her favourite place. She’s hiding it in the bunk room, but you didn’t hear that from me. She’s selling some to me for a small fortune, the little devil.”
“Less than half a week here and she’s already set up a black market,” you muse, “I think I may be in love with her, Yoongi.”
“Don’t you dare.”
--
While the kitchen is empty when you first arrive, it only takes the sizzle of pork belly in a saucepan to draw your roommates down.
Jin is first, silently rummaging in the pantry and fridge for some side dishes to add to the mix. In return, you begin boiling some hot water, adding instant coffee mix to two mugs.
As the others join, the line of mugs and glasses on the kitchen island grows, until even the two Min twins are hovering in the kitchen, looking suspicously still hungry after their illicit breakfast.
There aren’t enough chairs at the table to seat you all, but luckily Taehyung and Jungkook are happy hunched over the bench in the kitchen, sharing a set of Airpods and snickering at a seemingly endless stream of TikToks.
At the table, Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi chow down on their meals, the latter with a considerably smaller portion made up mostly of meat. Yoonji and Jimin are on either side of you, with Jin on one end, chewing slow to savour each bite.
It’s the first time in a while that you’ve all shared breakfast at the same time, and you’re struck with a deep feeling of fondness at this little family-like group you’re living with.  Jimin sneaks extra strips of meat or spoonfuls of rice into your bowl when he thinks you’re not looking; Hoseok listens enthusiastically to Namjoon’s explanation of a summer school course he’s taking, even as he has to ask for clarification just about every second sentence; Yoongi splits his time between checking up on the two maknaes with a soft look, and scowling at his sister’s teasing comments.
“Any plans for the day?” Yoonji asks suddenly, tugging you out of your musings. She’s dressed sleekly in a black velvet mock neck shirt and high waisted denim shorts, her face as stark a resemblance to her brother as ever, with two sharp lines of black on her lids being the only visible makeup. “Except, I suppose, the mandatory fucking.”
You huff with pink cheeks, never growing used to hearing it so openly. “The days kinda blur together a little when you have no real responsibilities,” you admit, “I should probably find a hobby or something.”
Yoonji’s eyes crinkle in faux empathy. “Oh, honey, you’re gonna be so out of it when you return to the real world. You all will,” she adds, before shrugging, “except maybe Namjoon. Seems like academia doesn’t stop for anyone.”
You can’t help but agree. “He has more brain cells in his pinky finger than I do in my own body,” you swear, “he could break an arm and still type a thesis one-handed.”
Halfway through a mouthful of food, you’re rewarded to the ungraceful yet endlessly endearing sound of her snorting, a hand cupped over her mouth. After swallowing, she turns towards you to respond. “I haven’t known him for long, but that seems to check out. He’s quite the character, huh?”
You don’t miss the meaningful lilt to her voice, nor the quirk of a sharp brow. “He’s a good guy,” you reply under your breath, gaze darting down the table to where the man himself is engaged in an intensely enthusiastic discussion (okay, closer to a TedTalk) with Hoseok, now using pieces of meat to create an abstract diagram in his otherwise empty bowl. The latter looks bewildered, but is nonetheless paying deep attention to every word.
It’s impossible not to feel soft inside as you look at the pair of them, all complementary contrast. Hoseok with his slender nose and harsh facial structure and Namjoon with a round, gentle face. One of them dressed in sleek black and the other in oversized earth tones, the typically reserved one animated and the bubbly one focused in. It had taken you barely a month of shared living to become completely fond of these men, not just Namjoon and Hoseok but all of them, and as much as it was nice to have someone new in the Villa for a while, Yoonji’s presence makes you more aware of the fact that you and the seven guys had developed a certain equilibrium that seemed slightly off-balance with the change.
It makes you worry about what other disturbances this delicate system could hold, and if returning to the real world would be a shift large enough to permanently upend it.
Wishing to dispel the pessimistic narrative beginning to form, you focus in on Yoonji again. “Anyways,” you start, “how are you finding the Villa so far?”
“Certainly an interesting look behind the veil, though it’s really not ideal having to-” Yoonji’s cut off by the chirp of an incoming message on her phone. “Sorry, one sec,” she mumbles absentmindedly, but you don’t miss the way her face falls when she reads the message, immediately glancing directly across the table to where her brother sits.
To your growing concern, Yoongi is also reading a message on his phone, and he quietly excuses himself from the table, leaving his bowl half-eaten. He jerks his head towards the front door, and Yoonji manages a quick apology before they’re leaving the room.
All startled out of their separate conversations, the remaining members of the household sit in confused silence, enough that even Taehyung and Jungkook turn around from their phones.
“What’s going on?” Jungkook asks in a worried voice. “Where’s Yoongi-hyung?”
Nobody replies, Jin just shaking his head with a grim frown and leaving the table himself, going after them.
“Guys,” Taehyung says more insistently, eyes not leaving the empty seats at the table.
“They both got a text,” you say with furrowed brows, “Yoongi and Yoonji. Must’ve been bad news, judging by their faces.”
“Jin-hyung’ll find out what’s going on,” Namjoon assures, though it sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself, “let’s just clean up for them and wait for an update. Yeah?”
The two youngest nod solemnly, still with a single Airpod each bobbing in their opposite ears.
For a while, the group of you remaining sit in silence, as if caught up in some spell that would only be broken once Jin returned with some answers. The absence of Yoongi at the table is so much more pronounced, and you can’t help but feel the sickening worry swirl inside you when you look at his bowl, chopsticks strewn carelessly beside it.
Everyone is just waiting for bad news. You’ve felt this looming dread before, and it either came with a swoop of relief or a blow of despair. Your teeth find your thumbnail as you wait helplessly to see which one it’ll be.
It feels like an eternity before the door finally opens, making everyone jump, but only a few minutes have really passed. Jin is panting slightly, like he ran back from wherever Yoongi disappeared to.
“He’s-” he starts quickly, before a tremor passes over his face and he grimaces, jogging over and falling heavily into his chair at the table, face in his hands. “Their dad is in hospital. Heart attack.”
“Oh my god,” Namjoon breathes, brows knit together in sympathy. “Is he okay? Was it serious?”
Jin shrugs, looking up enough to run his hand over his face and take a shaky breath. “He’s alright for now, but apparently they need to make sure it doesn’t repeat anytime soon. If he settles, he’ll be fine, but there’s a chance that he might suffer another attack. Yoongi and Yoonji are going to the hospital now to stay with him until they’re more certain he’s stable. Just in case.”
“When is he coming back? Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook’s eyes are wide, shiny. He can’t stop fiddling with his fingers, self-soothing.
“Not for a while, I don’t think,” Jin divulges with a pained expression. “He needs to be there for his family right now. That’s all I know, I’m sorry.”
The front door creaks, and all of you instinctively whip your heads towards it, as if Yoongi himself might be returning already, but you’re greeted with the weary face of Producer Sejin, joining you at the table, taking Yoongi’s old spot. Taehyung frowns deeply at the choice, turning his face away.
“What’s going on?” you ask quickly. “What happens to Yoongi? And us?”
“Yoongi is… He was in a rush to get going, understandably, so we didn’t speak in great depth. But he in short stated that he’d return when his father was in better health if the place was still open for him. I’ve got in contact with the higher-ups, and we’ve agreed to put the show on a temporary hold.”
“On hold?” Jungkook asks in a nervous voice. “What does that even mean?”
Sejin clears his throat stiffly and clicks his tongue. “Well. It means we’re putting a stop to the game for now, in short. If Yoongi is able to return by the end of the week, we’ll resume as usual. Otherwise, we’ll consider him to have permanently left the competition, and we’ll be forced to continue the game without him.”
You frown, fighting the urge to cry. This all feels so wrong, like he’s been taken from you with little hope of reunion, and discussing it like administration feels so clinical. “So we’re just sitting here, not knowing if he’s going to come back home, waiting around in limbo?” As soon as you finish, it feels like the word home lingers in the air longer than the rest of them. And perhaps this house doesn’t feel like home to you, but it certainly seems like six of the seven pieces of home are around you right now, and it’s not the same without him away. By the way the others are solemn and red-eyed, you probably aren’t the only one that’s begun feeling that way.
Sejin just shakes his head slowly, as subdued as you all are. “Listen, I know this isn’t ideal. The boss wanted to film it, make a big drama out of it, and then kick him off the show for views. I’m doing the best I can here to compromise and give him some dignity.”
Eyes widening, you stare at the round eyes of the cameras in the living room. “Are you- are you even allowed to say that?”
“I cut the camera feeds,” Sejin says in a defeated tone, “the show is officially off-air for technical difficulties. You can do what you want here while you wait - hell, you can leave if you want, just please be prepared to come back on the Sunday. We’ll have a discussion about whether Yoongi can return, and what we’ll do if he doesn’t. Understood?”
“Understood,” Namjoon offers up for the group, and the producer leaves with another sigh and an attempt at a comforting smile. You can’t help but feel bad for him, working such an emotionally draining job, especially when you’ve heard nothing but bad things about his employer.
Once the room falls into quiet again, Jin stands up, chair legs scraping against the floor. “Okay, I think we should decide as a group what we’re wanting to do. Stay or go?”
You open your mouth to give your two cents, but before you can, Jungkook suddenly chokes on a sob and covers his face with his hands, Jimin immediately scooting his chair closer to wrap an arm around his shaking shoulders.
“Hey, what is it?” Jimin asks quietly, but the room is so silent that you all catch it. “Talk to me, bun. What is it?”
Jungkook takes a few stuttering breaths to compose himself, sniffling. “I don’t want you all to leave too,” he confesses, Jimin’s thumb catching a tear dangling on the tip of his nose, “isn’t Yoongi-hyung enough?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” the elder promises, pressing a kiss into his hairline before looking up at the rest of you, eyes widening intentionally. “We’ll stick together through this until he comes back, yeah? It’s not all bad. The cameras are off, remember? We can have a break now, we don’t need to worry about the show. Isn’t that nice?”
After a moment’s considering, Jungkook nods slowly. “‘t is nice,” he admits begrudgingly. “But only if everyone stays.”
You can’t help but smile fondly, getting up yourself to come behind him, stroking his hair back. “We’ll stay, of course we’ll stay. Let’s spend some time together tonight, we can put on a movie and snuggle, how about that?”
He perks up at the thought of this, glancing around the table as the others nod in affirmation. “I’ll bring down the blankets,” he bargains, cracking a small smile, and the rest of the room relaxes, immediately bursting into sound as everyone arranges the necessary supplies for a good quality movie night, almost back to normal.
Jungkook, as the member of the Villa in most urgent need of a pick-me-up, is given movie choosing privileges, so the seven of you tuck in for a rewatch of his favourite Spiderman movies, perhaps the only thing that can keep him glued to the screen.
At first, the absence feels overwhelming to you. Try as you might through the opening sequence, you can’t shake it. Your mind counts heads without thinking, keeps looking at the space on the couch where Yoongi liked to put his feet up. Even though you know it’s his father who is unwell, not him, there’s the sick swelling in your stomach that makes you feel like his departure is final, and shortly after the title card plays out, you’re quietly excusing yourself and stumbling to the back door, in desperate need of fresh air.
It’s cold outside, a brisk wind cutting through you. You barely make it around the corner out of sight before your legs buckle, and you let yourself fall into a pathetic crouch, your weight propped up against the side of the house as you try to suck the chilled air into your lungs.
The panic creeps up on you in swells, the irrational fear that Yoongi would leave the show and you’d never see him again and everything would fall apart suddenly feeling like a whole tsunami crashing against you. Your fingers claw at the exterior wall as you fall back onto your behind, unable to even keep yourself in a crouch.
More so than the intrusive thoughts, it’s the image of Yoongi’s face falling, of him rushing out of the house in frantic distress that replays in your mind and leaves you suffocating. He looked so scared, your calm, reliable Yoongi. He was like a pillar, but that news was a fell swoop he couldn’t stay strong against. Your heart burns for him, cramping and aching in your chest.
For a moment, you picture yourself staying out here, gasping for breath until the sun goes down. You feel alone, more than ever since coming here, and even as the thought spooks you, there’s no energy in your body to do anything about it.
Just as your breaths start to sound more like death rattles and you curl your face towards the ground, a warmth envelopes your back, arms circling your middle and lifting you up.
“Hey, breathe, breathe with me, Y/n. I’m here.”
You recognise the voice. You recognise the built torso holding you steady, but your mind isn’t putting the pieces together, and so you simply squeeze your eyes shut and allow yourself to be maneuvered around there are hands on your face and a deep voice instructing you to look at me. I’m here; look at me.
You crack your eyes open, body heaving with the effort it takes to get any oxygen in your lungs, but you’re met with the soulful brown eyes of Kim Namjoon, narrowed in concern.
His hands are warm despite the frigid air outside, and you let yourself melt into him, eyes sinking to watch his lips mouth instructions, demonstrating exaggerated breathing for you to follow.
You feel distinctly like you might vomit, but you force yourself to match his breaths. The shuddering in and stilted out aren’t as fluid as his, but slowly your heart doesn’t thud in your ears and your body doesn’t shake as violently.
You feel damp, sweating all over, and your whole body aches, but your hearing begins to properly tune in again, coherence creeping back. “Na-Namjoon,” you gasp, wishing you had the energy to grab his arms or hug him or something other than lying limp against the wall of the house.
“Shh, hey, don’t strain yourself. Take it easy. I’m here.” He’s crouching in front of you, eyes locked onto you as he continues to hold you steady, jaw kept aloft by his hands. “Keep breathing, and it’ll go away. It’s a panic attack, I’ve had my fair share. You’ll come right.”
Trusting him despite the persisting burn in your chest, you let him coach your breathing for several more minutes, the heightened air influx making your head go light and floaty.
Once a counted breath turns into a yawn of exhaustion, you know the worst has passed. It leaves you boneless, not a single ounce of power left in your muscles, but you can breathe again, and it’s all thanks to the man across from you.
“I’ve never had one before,” you manage, voice cracking, “not like that.”
Namjoon’s lips press together in sympathy, and he turns to prop himself against the side of the house beside you, letting you continue breathing independently. “Is it Yoongi-hyung?”
You nod weakly, and the academic hums in confirmation. “I used to get panic attacks a lot in university. I used to hate them, thought they meant I was weak. Like I couldn’t handle the pressure as much as I thought I could. But, you know, these days I just figure I’m only panicking because it means so much to me. And I don’t think that makes me weak at all. It just means I care. Don’t feel ashamed about this, Y/n. All it means is that you care about hyung a lot.”
All the breath in your lungs leaves you in one rush as you prop your head in your hands, knees tucked towards your chest. “Yeah.” You wish you had something more appreciative to say, but your mind is waterlogged, weighed down and not functioning.
Namjoon doesn’t seem to mind the curt response. “I care about him a lot too. He’s like the glue for us, isn’t he? I’m worried to fall apart without him here keeping us in line. But we survived before we knew him and we’ll survive now. What’s better is supporting each other and waiting to see how we can support Yoongi-hyung, too.”
“You’re right,” you admit with a heavy breath, wiggling your toes to will energy back into them. “We’ll be okay.”
Namjoon bends sideways to bump your shoulder warmly. “That’s the spirit. Now; I’m happy to stay out here as long as you need, but Jungkook was the first one to notice you had been gone for a while, and I think he’s probably getting concerned by now. If you’re up to it, I can give you a hand to get inside and join the others again. What do you reckon?”
You lean your head back against the wall, taking a moment to consider. “What movie is he putting on next?”
“He mentioned wanting to check out Paw Patrol on Netflix.”
“Let me die out here,” you plead weakly.
Namjoon laughs, the sound like comfort itself, and stands up, offering you a hand. “Come on, kitten, up we get.”
In the end, the Netflix viewings manage to distract you for the rest of the night. When your limbs are tangled together and snacks are flowing, it’s easy to tune out of reality a bit and focus on the television screen in the comfort of shared company. Jungkook clears space on the couch for you the second you return, and clings to you for hours, his chin on your shoulder. You don’t complain, feeling soothed by the physical closeness. But the hours pass, and when the majority of you can no longer hold in your yawns, Seokjin gets up to turn the lights back on and clean up.
“Let’s get some rest,” he decides, and it’s that return to the real world that immediately dampens the atmosphere again, the group of you turning solemn. You pause to pull out your phone, sending Yoongi a quick message of support, and that you all missed him already, but no reply comes.
Without words being spoken, the seven of you remaining find yourselves flocking together as you make your way up to bed. Jin flanks the maknae as Namjoon and Hoseok lean heavily into each other, the four of them disappearing into Jin’s room. You naturally fall into step with the remaining two men, Taehyung linking his arm into yours and holding you close all the way to Jimin’s room.
Somehow, the house is too quiet. Even though Yoongi wasn’t a particularly noisy housemate, his absence cloaks the air.
You have no energy to shower. Washing your face is as much as you can manage, and Taehyung is even more despairing than you are, slumped on the toilet seat as Jimin cleans his face for him.
The uncertainty is what makes your heart flutter on edge, unable to wind down, and you know from the restrained looks of fear and distress in the guys’ eyes that they feel the same. The show would be undoubtably ruined if Yoongi couldn’t return. But more important than that, Yoongi would be ruined if he lost his father so suddenly.
Knowing Yoongi is hurting makes you ache, and you cling to your lovers like they’re your anchors in a churning sea, tucking your face firmly into Taehyung’s shoulder. It soothes you a little to be pinned between them, but the three of you still lie awake as the minutes blink by agonisingly slow.
At some point, you must fall into a fitful sleep, because when a sudden noise fills the room, it rouses you aggressively, and you almost kick Jimin’s shin in the process. Grunting, the half-asleep man rubs his face and twists around, fumbling on the nightstand for the offending noise.
It’s Taehyung’s phone, vibrating against the wooden table, and once Jimin blinks twice at the glaring screen he gasps and yanks the charger out, sitting up in bed. “It’s hyung,” he declares in a voice more vulnerable than you’d ever heard from him before. “Wake Tae.”
You force yourself to dispel those last few wisps of sleep from your brain, and gently shake Taehyung awake. According to the clock on the nightstand, it’s almost two in the morning, but your heart leaps as Yoongi’s face fills the phone screen, looking right at the three of you.
“I thought you would be together,” he states with a rueful smile, though you can see that it doesn’t quite reach his reddened eyes. “Sorry for calling so late.”
“Don’t apologise, hyung,” Taehyung whines, half of his weight on you as he leans in close, “we were so worried about you. How’s your dad?”
Yoongi’s brows furrow beneath mussed hair. “Not great,” he admits. “A little more stable, at least, but he’s pretty confused right now. Nurses worry that it might have affected his brain.”
Your heart sinks, both at the thought of a relatively young man suffering such awful health complications, but also at how Yoongi was trying to hide his exhaustion and distress. “Oh my god.”
“Mm, we should know soon what the damage is,” Yoongi explains further, rubbing his eyes with the hand not holding his phone aloft, “and if he’s alright I can head back h- head back to the Villa. He’s just been sleeping a lot today so… We don’t really know how he’ll be until he’s conscious for enough time. Yoonji’s with him at the moment, I just wanted to duck out and give you guys an update. Where are the others?”
“Jin-hyung’s room,” Jimin answers, even as he’s throwing back the covers. “They’ll want to hear from you themselves, just hold on a minute.”
You hear Yoongi’s voice echoing from the phone and strain to make out his words as Jimin heads to the door. “No, no, don’t wake them. I actually wanted to ask if you’d like to come visit? Of course none of you know my dad, and he doesn’t know you, but- Well, Yoonji and I could do with some company.”
You jump up, rushing to Jimin’s side. As he naturally accommodates your presence and pulls you flush against him, you lift your face up to the phone. “We’ll be there,” you assure Yoongi, “just please get some rest tonight. It’s been a rough day.”
Yoongi’s pained smile breaks your heart, and Jimin leads the phone back to the bed so that Taehyung can say a final goodbye before the three of you hang up and crawl, exhausted but somewhat relieved, back into bed.
386 notes · View notes
melwilson · 3 years
Text
lonely people | b.b.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
rating: fluff
warnings: slow burn. kinda long.
a/n: i’m not dead. i just had zero inspiration. here’s to me kinda getting my groove back. it took me way too long to finish this, but i think y’all will like it. it’s one of my faves.
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People were...people.
And people were complicated.
That’s all you could really say to describe your relationships, or lack thereof. You could blame it on your social anxiety or undeveloped communication skills or just the sole fact that you strongly despised the human race. In fact, you could spend the rest of your life alone in your apartment and you’d be fine, but your therapist mentioned that loneliness was damaging. No one deserves to be alone, she had said. Maybe she was right, you just shrugged it off. You had been alone most of your life. It wasn’t something that you shut the door on like a nosy neighbor. You welcomed the solace being alone provided. A comfort and a calm that couldn’t be interrupted. However, the words of your therapist seemed to etch themselves permanently in the back of your mind. You could hear her calm, almost motherly, voice as you carried on with your week.
You need friends, Y/n. You need people that you can relate to and depend on. I’m the only human contact you get every week and yes, you can depend on me, but you need someone else. Anyone else.
You sighed, your eyes squeezing shut as you tried to rid your mind of her voice. Making friends was something children did. You were a grown ass adult who still panicked when it was your turn to pay in the grocery line. Getting to know someone required putting yourself out there. Being vulnerable, but before that you just actually had to talk...to another human. Which you weren’t good at. But maybe, just maybe, Dr. Smith’s voice would go away if you gave it a shot.
So, you got up and got dressed in your favorite hoodie and jeans and topped it off with a pair of hightop converse. You weren’t exactly sure where you were going to go, but the coffee shop down the street was always your first stop before you went anywhere. It was apart of the routine. No, it didn’t inspire change. It was small and quiet, the people were nice, and the coffee was five star. It was the perfect place for you to pop in every now and then and gain that sense of familiarity. You ordered the same thing every time; vanilla sweet cream cold brew. The first time you walked in, it’s the what the barista recommended. You figured that he knew best, so you went with it. Now, every time you grace the coffee shop with your presence, you don’t even make it up to the counter before they start on your order.
“How’ve you been, Y/n?” Your favorite barista, Donnie, wore a kind smile as you leaned against the counter. He was a tall redhead who always seemed to be working the same days you went in. It was comforting and regular.
“Good,” you said honestly, “Sorry, I haven’t come down to see you. I bought the Keurig you recommended. It works wonders for an introverted individual.”
Donnie chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re saying it’s my fault?”
“Precisely,” You hummed as he slid you your daily dose of caffeine. “You’re the best, Don.” You slid him a ten and he just glanced up at you. “On the house...I know,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “It’s a tip.” Before he could protest, you were half way out the door and stepping out onto the busy Brooklyn streets. Immediately, you shoved your left hand in your hoodie pocket, making your body as small as possible. Trying to walk through downtown Brooklyn would have been impossible for you a year ago. It was too crowded, too many bodies, too much noise. It was overwhelming. Even now, it still overwhelmed you, but your sessions with Dr. Smith had made controlling your anxiety easier.
Taking a hard right, you cut through an empty alley that was a shortcut to your apartment. You had gotten out of your house today. That was enough for you. Tomorrow, you had a session with Dr. Smith.
The office building that Dr. Smith worked in was nice. Really nice. The whole building was reinforced glass, whites, grays, and blacks bringing to the modern feel. It was a great contrast to the red, brick buildings that bore the history of the city. Today, the sun radiated throughout the whole building bringing it’s warmth and a multitude of people with it. There were different businesses in the building, a dentist on floor eight and an insurance company on floor ten, so, naturally there were always people in and out of the elevator. Today, though, there was a lot of people. You had managed to squeeze your way to the back, your shoulders brushing over the ones next to you. You fingers meddled with the gold rings that you rarely took off, eyes casted at the floor. Your breathing was quick and shallow and the small child who couldn’t seem to take their eyes off of you only made it worse.
When the elevator dinged and a bright red ‘NINE’ ran across the screen, you shoved your way out of the steal box and tumbled into the waiting room. You were almost gasping for air as you approached the front desk.
“Too many people?”
You nodded meeting a pair of green eyes. Cynthia was probably the nicest lady you had ever met. She was nearing 40 and married with a couple of a kiddos that you seen running around the offices. She wore a kind smile and had a soothing voice that you could listen to all day. “You changed you hair color?” Her usual brown hair, was now blonde with brown highlights. It was pretty, but it was different.
“Yeah,” Cynthia sighed, running a hand through her long locks, “Ready for a change, I suppose.”
You nodded, signing your name on the check-in sheet.
Change. Even the thought made you wanna puke. Brooklyn, New York had been your home all of the 25 years you had been alive. You knew the streets like the back of your hand. You knew what diners were the best, how to get from one place to another without getting stuck in traffic, the best and worst places to live, the names of the all the older men and women whose businesses were still kicking. Brooklyn was all you had ever known. It’s all you wanted to know. You didn’t want different. You didn’t want something you would have to get used to, something you would have to learn. You had discovered that even the smallest inconveniences were hard for you deal with. Like right now, two teenagers were in your seat. The black leather couch that you had grown accustomed to was taken. You stopped, your breath hitching ever-so slightly. The only available spot was next to a man with cropped brown hair and a brooding appearance that made you want to settle for the tile floors.
Get over yourself, L/n, you said to yourself. The man only glanced at you when you sat down next to him. He shuffled over to give you more space and that’s when you noticed his gloved hands. It was 60 degrees out and sunny. Why this man was wearing gloves, you weren’t going to ask. You just shrunk further into your seat, your knee bouncing with every second that ticked by. A few minutes passed and you could feel the man’s eyes on you. You caught a glimpse of his steel blue eyes before he looked away.
“Sorry,” he muttered under his breath.
You shook your head. “Uh, don’t worry about it.”
Minutes of uncomfortable silence seemed to go on forever until your name was called. You stood up wiping the imaginary dust off your jeans, not sparing the unknown man a glance before disappearing down the hallway.
“Make any friends this week?” Dr. Smith asked. Her glasses were perched atop of her nose, her brown eyes already searching for a lie.
“I went to see Donnie.”
She rolled her eyes, clicking her pen twice. “Did you make any new friends?”
You sighed, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth. “I talked to a guy in the lobby before today’s session.”
Dr. Smith hummed, raising an eyebrow. “Did you get this guys name or number?”
“No, but he wore gloves. Who wears gloves in the middle of spring?” You asked, more to yourself than to the shrink.
“That’s James,” Dr. Smith revealed. Her first name was Marlinda, most called her Mar. “War vet. He doesn’t get out much either. You two might be good for each other. I want you to talk to him.”
You groaned. “Mar-“
“Y/n. You are 25 years and have no friends. No one to talk to. You. Are. Alone. And I know that’s hard for you to hear and you may not understand nor realize it. I want you to have a life, Y/n. I want you experience things without being crippled by your anxiety. But it’s going to take work. Work that you have to do. There are mountains you’ll have to go over and valleys you’ll need to travel through. But I will not allow you to let your anxiety control you.”
You swallowed thickly, Dr. Smith’s words hitting you like a ton of bricks. Her words were genuine. She wanted to see you be free, but they were stern. You met her eyes before glancing out the window. “I’m trying, Mar. I just don’t know how to do it.”
“Start by getting James’ number. I expect good news next week.” You nodded, standing to your feet. You stuffed your hands into the pocket of your hoodie as you trudged over to the door. “And Y/n?” 
You turned around raising an eyebrow. 
“You’re more than your anxiety.” Mar’s voice was soft and didn’t have the edge to it like it usually did. You could only send her half a smile before grabbing the door handle and walking out of the office. 
It rained for three days straight after your session with Mar. You spent those three days moping in your apartment. Most of time, the rain didn’t bother you. You loved the rain. You loved the cozy atmosphere and the peace those gray, rumbling clouds brought. You would always turn on a good movie or pick out a book to read. You sighed as you read the same line for nearly the tenth time. Your mind was elsewhere. It was cluttered. Dr. Smith’s words rolling around in your head like a bowling ball. You’re more than your anxiety. 
“For goodness sake,” you muttered under your breath. You stood up from your couch and made your way into your room. “This’ll have to do.” You were in a pair of light wash jeans, a plain back tee, windbreaker on top, and the same pair of converse from a few days ago. You grabbed your phone, keys, and wallet before heading out the door. The rain had slowed down just enough for you to reach Brooklyn Roasting Company. As soon as you stepped in the door, the floodgates opened and thunder rumbled in the sky. You shrugged off your jacket as you approached the counter, catching the sight of the familiar mop of red hair. 
“I get to see you twice in a week,” Donnie said catching your gaze. “Someone’s getting adventurous.” 
You scoffed, a small smile playing on your lips. “Don’t get used to it.”
“I’ll grab your cold brew, but I hope that you didn’t plan on sitting in your usual seat.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows following Donnie’s gaze to the man sitting in your seat..the one next to the window. You recognized the cropped brown hair, sharp jawline, and gloved hands. 
“You think you could bring that cold brew to my table?” 
“Yeah, give me a couple of minutes.” 
You muttered thanks. 
Start by getting James’ number...
You’re more than your anxiety. 
You sucked in a sharp breath, your feet carrying you over to the table James was sitting at. You cleared your throat when he didn’t notice you at first. His eyes ran over your frame, a hint of confusion mixing in with the ocean blue. 
“H-hi,” your voice was soft and you smiled, nervousness laced in your eyes. “Do you, uh, mind if I sit here?” 
James’ eyes looked at the empty tables behind you and then to the seat across from him. “No. It’s all yours.” An awkward silence fell between the two of you, your eyes focused on the rain drops rolling down the windows. 
“Vanilla sweet cream cold brew for the pretty lady,” Donnie said, interrupting the silence. 
“Thanks, Don,” you said with a small smile. He nodded mouthing, ‘good luck,’ before sending you a wink and heading back into the kitchen. 
“You’re the girl from the therapists office?” James’ voice was deep and smooth. 
You nodded taking a sip of your coffee. “Yeah, that’s me. I’m Y/n.” 
“Bucky.” 
“Bucky,” you repeated, his name falling effortlessly from your lips. You both liked the way it rolled off your tongue so easily. You glanced out the window and then back at Bucky. He looked tired, dark circles starting to form under his eyes, but that didn’t take away from his striking features. There was a light stubble lining his jawline almost up to his high cheek bones. His blue eyes stuck out against his pail skin, long eyelashes grazing his skin when he blinked. He wore the same black jacket he had adorned at therapy, black jeans, and black combat boots. You could see a dark blue shirt poking out at the top, dog tags hanging loosely around his neck. “It’s nice to meet you, Bucky.”
“The pleasure is mine, Y/n.”
Bucky couldn’t get his knee to stop moving. Up and down, up and down. Faster and faster. He was waiting. Waiting for you. You ended up spending nearly an hour at the coffee shop together. Few words were exchanged, but neither of you really desired to talk. It was the presence of another person that both of you were content with. Bucky glanced at the clock, his bottom lip tugged between his teeth. He had ten minutes before his session and he really wanted to see you. Another minute passed and soon enough you were stepping out of the elevator. At just the sight of you, Bucky’s knee came to slow, his shoulders relaxing.
“Hi,” you said softly. You sounded almost out of breath, your chest rising and falling quicker than normal.
Bucky sent you a small tug of his lips as you sat down next to him. “Hey.” No other words were exchanged.
The following week, you were late and missed getting a chance to see Bucky before your session.
“I made a friend...I think,” you told Mar.
“James?” Mar questioned.
“Bucky,” you corrected sitting back in your seat.
A small but proud smile graced Mar’s lips. You didn’t realize it, but there was an ever so small light in your eyes that she saw. A light that she had been trying to dig out of you since your first session. “And did you get Bucky’s number?”
You shook your head. “I talked to him though. I took the first step and asked if I could sit at his table. I sit next to him in the waiting room before sessions. He’s- he’s nice.”
“There was a time when I thought your smile would never reach your eyes,” Mar said honestly. “I’m glad to see you’ve changed my mind.”
The next week, you got there before Bucky. You were half and hour early. Why?
You wanted to spend time with a friend.
Ten minutes later, Bucky stepped out of the elevator his eyes searching the room until they landed on you.
“You didn’t come last week.”
You slid over so the brunette could sit. “I didn’t miss. I was late.” Bucky hummed. “You miss me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, L/n,” the man scoffed.
“You can admit it. Besides, it’s nice to know someone enjoys having me around. I like having you around too.”
Cynthia called your name before Bucky got a chance to respond. You stood up, sending him a smile before disappearing down the hallway.
“Leaving so soon?”
You jumped, your hand flying to your chest, heart beating wildly. You turned to face Bucky who was leaning against the glass building, a smug smile playing on his lips.
“What the hell, Barnes?”
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Bucky said pushing himself off the wall. The sunlight only seemed to illuminate Bucky’s features further.
“Yes, you did,” you deadpanned.
“You’re right,” Bucky shrugged, “I did.”
You rolled your eyes continuing down the street. Bucky caught up with you quickly, his stride matching yours. “What do you want, Buck?”
“I wanna...hang.”
You stopped in your tracks, your eyes narrowing. “You want to...hang?”
“Um, yeah. If-if that’s okay with you.” Bucky seemed nervous as you guys moved out of the way of those trying to avoid you.
Your eyes softened. “That’s more than okay with me, Bucky. You got anywhere in mind?”
“You’re place?”
Bucky was in your space. Your space. If someone didn’t out right tell what they were really like, their home definitely did.
It smells good in here, Bucky thought to himself. Your apartment was exactly how Bucky pictured it to be. Simple, yet organized. The living room held a gray couch and two plush chairs, a TV mounted on the wall. A glass coffee table sat in the middle, a few books and a half consumed coffee cup on top. You dropped your jacket over the back of the couch, noticing how Bucky was still standing by your door.
“Can I get you anything?” You offered.
Bucky shifted his weight into his right leg. “I’ll take a water.”
As you reached into the refrigerator, you could hear Bucky’s footsteps against the hardwood floors. When you looked up, he had taken a seat at the countertop, his jacket and gloves still on. You tossed him the water which he caught with ease.
“What?” Bucky asked. Your arms were crossed over your chest, that look of curiosity that he had grown to recognize on your face.
“You gonna take your jacket off?”
“I’m comfortable,” Bucky shrugged.
“I’ve known you for a month, James.” Bucky’s eyes narrowed at the use of first name. “What could be so bad that you have to hide it from me?”
Bucky was quiet for a moment and when he looked at you there was a sadness laced in his eyes. “A lot.”
You pushed yourself off the counter moving to sit next to the larger man. “We’re both messed up, Buck. If I can’t handle your flaws, then I shouldn’t call myself your friend. Look, you don’t have to tell me or show me, but you’re kinda all I got so I’m always gonna be here.”
“I just need some time,” Bucky said softly.
You nodded placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Come on,” you gestured towards the tv, “You said you wanted to hang.”
This hang out continued. Every week, Bucky would come and spend the rest of the afternoon and evening with you after therapy. He slowly started to loosen up around you and you around him.
“So, he’s your best friend?” Mar asked.
“Um, yeah,” you nodded, “You could put it like that.”
Mar stared at you for a moment, her eyes studying your face. You shifted in your seat, your knee bouncing slightly. Her stare made you uncomfortable. She knew you better than anyone so whatever she was going to say was going to hit you deep. “You like him.”
You choked on air, your eyes wide. “I- what?”
Mar rolled her eyes. “Don’t play dumb, Y/n. You’ve fallen for him.”
“Mar-“
“Y/n, it’s okay,” she said noticing the scared look laced in your eyes. “You’re allowed to feel again. You know, when you walked into this office you only spoke...maybe ten words to me. You hated it. You hated me. You didn’t want to trust anyone because you lost someone.”
“...I lost everyone,” you said softly.
“I know,” Mar agreed, “but you allowed yourself to let Bucky in and you’ve only known him for two months. He’s special to you-“
“He’s all that I have, Mar.”
“So why not give him all that you have?”
There were tears threatening to spill. “Because everyone that I’ve ever loved, I’ve lost.”
“But it wasn’t your fault. What happened to your dad came with the job, okay? And we both know that it’s better that your mom was not in your life. And your grandparents? They hung on until you were legally an adult. Loss is apart of life, Y/n. It’s not something you can run from and hope never happens.”
“But it hurts,” your voice was barely above a whisper, but the pain was there.
“It’s supposed to because you cared. I know that you’re scared, but you and James both deserve someone who cares and loves unconditionally.”
The next day, there was a knock on your door.
“It’s open!” you called from the couch. You knew Bucky was planning to come over. He had texted you a few hours before asking what you wanted from the coffee shop. You heard the door slam shut and Bucky’s shuffling from behind the couch.
“Hey,” he said. He extended his arm to hand you your cold brew except in front of you was metal. Your eyes raked up the metal arm until you met Bucky’s blue eyes. His bottom lip was tugged between his teeth, jacket and gloves discarded. He was waiting for your reaction. Waiting for you to kick him out and tell him that you never wanted to see him again in account of what he had done. But that didn’t happen.
“I knew it,” you muttered softly.
Bucky was tense as he sat down next to you. “You knew what?”
“I’m not an idiot, Bucky. I started to piece things together. The gloves, the jacket, your overall hatred for humanity..”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”
“Because I knew that you’d tell me when you were comfortable,” you shrugged. You sank down in your seat taking a drink of your coffee.
You could see from your peripheral, Bucky setting his coffee on the table, his body moving closer to yours, knees touching. He took your hand in his metal one squeezing it gently. “Thank you.”
You responded by bring the black and gold metal to your lips. The gesture caused both you and Bucky to freeze. Neither of you were used to displays of affection, giving or receiving. It wasn’t hard to tell that both of you were touch deprived and longing for something gentle and real. Even though Bucky couldn’t really feel your kiss, the gesture was enough for him to realize how special you were. His heart was beating wildly in his chest as he craved more. He wanted to feel every inch of you, not just your body, but your heart, and your soul. He wanted to know you, all of you. He wanted to know how you liked your eggs cooked, your favorite song, what books you were reading, what made you laugh, what made you cry, your favorite places to eat, your favorite movies. Bucky wanted you.
“I’m sorry,” you said, the heat crawling up your neck. “I- it felt right. Everything with you feels right.” Bucky could sense that there was more you wanted to say, so he stayed silent, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand. “When I met you, I wasn’t looking for anything. I actually was against relationships as a whole. But then I met you. And that was...it just happened, I guess. I found myself wanting to spend time with you. And then I found myself falling for you. It was simple and easy. I was comfortable. I think that’s how the best relationships start. You’re not looking and then there’s something. Someone. You’re my someone.”
Bucky’s heart swelled at your confession. God, I don’t deserve her, he thought to himself. He didn’t think that it was possible to have someone feel that way about him, nor did you think it was possible to feel the way you felt about Bucky.
“This whole relationship thing...I don’t really know how to do it,” Bucky said, his voice low and laced with a kind of disappointment. “I’m not sure I remember how to love or what it’s like to be loved, but I’m will to try for you. You’re all I got and you’re all I want, Y/n L/n.”
You sent him a sweet smile, a smile that reached your eyes and was filled with warmth. Suddenly, the distance between you was slim to none, your breaths mingling together. Bucky’s hands had found themselves gripping at your waist pulling you impossibly close. You were hoping he couldn’t hear your thundering heartbeat, your bottom lip tugged between your teeth. Before you lost the courage, you pressed your lips softly against Bucky’s. It was as if time stopped for this moment. The kiss was sweet, the feeling strange and foreign but you welcomed the change. Your lips seemed to fit together perfectly as Bucky took the lead, clearly more experienced. When you pulled away, Bucky grunted chasing your lips hungry for more.
“Damn,” you muttered, chest heaving. “That was...nice?”
“Nice?” Bucky laughed. It was probably the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. “You’re an angel, ya know that?”
A shy smile tugged at your cheeks as you placed your head on Bucky’s shoulder. You two had a lot to learn about yourselves, about each other, about relationships. And you were scared....terrified. But as you sat there, a warm feeling turning in your stomach, Bucky’s arms wrapped around you, you decided that the risk was worth it. And the man next to you was worth everything.
tag list: @hellishseaqueen
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sirtommyholland · 3 years
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Four Years of Birthdays
A/N: Hey everyone! This isn’t my first time writing for Harry but my first time actually posting it so I’m very excited! This is inspired by the little piece I wrote on Tom Holland’s birthday, I wanted to make a similar concept. Hope you guys like it, and happy birthday to our beloved baby boy Harry Styles! We love you so much!💜
Word Count: 2.4k (she tiny because I suck)
Summary: Harry’s four different birthdays with Y/N in differents points of his life. 
Fluff all the way! with like a little talk about sexual themes because I had to.
poc friendly and plus size friendly (I think, please tell me if I made a mistake!) because we dont blush bright red or swim in men’s clothes in this house💫
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2019 - 25th Birthday
Spending his birthday with Y/N was one of Harry’s favourite things. Over the last ten years of his life, she had missed quite a few of them as he was on the road and she was back home in London, going to uni and living a normal life. It was only the last couple of years that he was able to be home on his birthday, his solo career allowing him a bit more freedom to arrange his schedule as he wanted. 
This year, he had wanted to have a quiet birthday, just with his family and close friends. And of course, his girlfriend, who was currently climbing on his back on the bed, trying to coax him out of sleep. 
“Loviee” she whined into the back of his neck between kisses. “Wake up.”
“No.” his voice was deeper than usual as he groaned, trying to bury himself more into the pillows to avoid the bright sunlight in the room. “‘M sleepy.”
“But it’s your birthday.” she protested with a kiss to a small part of his cheek that wasn’t hidden away. “I need to give you your 25 kisses.”
“Just 25?” he frowned, raising his head from the pillow to look back at her. “That’s nowhere near enough! You kiss me more on a regular day.”
“Hmm..” she pretended to ponder his words, one of her hands going up to brush away the soft curls that fell on his forehead. “Then how about I give you a blowie for 25 minutes?”
Even if she couldn’t see his face, she would still be able to hear the grin in his voice. “Now that’s more like it.” He was turning over and laying on his back in a heartbeat, tugging at her thighs to make her straddle him again. 
She complied, throwing one leg over his hips and gently sitting on thighs, not putting her full weight. She leaned down to softly brush her lips against his, once, twice, three times. “Happy birthday, baby.”  she sighed against them, rubbing her nose against his lovingly. 
“Thank you, angel.” he smiled, letting his hands roam over the soft material of her shirt. “I reckon it’s gonna be the best one so far.” 
“Really? Is there a reason why?” she grinned, feeling like she already knew the answer.
“Because this is the first one I’m waking up with you as my girlfriend. Finally,” he sighed. “I can kiss you for real instead of making a wish for it when I blow out the candles.”
“You’re so cheesy.” she teased with a smile, leaning down to give him another kiss. “I still can't believe you wished for it.”
“Literally every year.” he confirmed, only blushing slightly under her loving gaze. “Honestly don’t know what I’m gonna wish for this time. It’s been the same thing for many years.” 
“I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” She placed a final peck to his lips, then swiftly got up from his lap. “Now get up, your mum’s expecting us for breakfast.”
“But- but- my blowie!” 
She looked back to see an adorable pout on his lips, one that she almost couldn’t resist. Almost.
“Later.” she promised, pulling him to his feet and laying a few kisses on his neck. “I’m gonna take care of you properly tonight, after your party. Along with your final present.”
“You’re a tease.” he breathed, the meaning behind her words not so hidden. She grinned, and trailed her hand softly down his back until she was grabbing his bum, giving it a firm squeeze. 
“Heyy!” he jumped, trying to grab her before she made a run for the bathroom, and failing.
“Pick your outfit, it takes ages!” she yelled through the closed door, making him huff and fall back on the bed dramatically. 
“Harry Edward Styles!” Well, guess she knew him too well.
“Yes, ma’am!”
2009 - 15th birthday
“Hello.”
Harry raised his head from the plastic cup he was refilling, to see a familiar girl looking at him with a friendly smile. 
“Hi.” he smiled back as he straightened up, silently giving her the cue to go on. 
“Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say that I really liked your performance. You guys were incredible!” 
“Oh, thank you! Of course you’re not bothering me. I’m glad to know you liked it.” He grinned. “We’re at the same school, right? I’ve seen you around before.”
“Yeah, but we’ve never actually talked, I think. I’m Y/N, by the way. Will invited me because I live next door.” she explained, nodding towards his bandmate that was currently hosting his birthday party/small concert in his garage. 
“You don’t need to explain yourself! Next time, I’ll just have to make sure that I invite you myself.”
She grinned at his words. “That’s very nice of you, Harry. Oh, and happy birthday, by the way! I almost forgot.” Right, she was at his birthday party. She already knew his name. 
“Thank you! And thanks for coming.” 
Before she could open her mouth to say anything else, the lights were dimmed and the back entrance of the garage was illuminated with a soft, orange light as his friends brought in the cake. Off-key voices singing him happy birthday filled the space, and he made his way to his friends with a huge smile on his face, Y/N joining the small crowd around him as they waited for him to blow out the candles.
“Don’t forget to make a wish!” one of his mates yelled just as he was leaning towards the cake. 
“Sorry.” he chuckled, then closed his eyes to make his wish. I want to make music. For all my life.
Little did he know, that would be his only wish in the next ten years that didn’t involve the girl that he had just met. 
2016 - 22th birthday
“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty-two! Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you!”
“What the fuck.” he muttered into his pillow, trying to figure out if he was dreaming or if his phone was actually ringing with a Taylor Swift song. But even when he was wide awake after a few minutes he could still hear her melodic voice, so he reached out with a groan and checked the caller ID. Of course.
“How did you manage to change my ringtone all the way from London?” he answered in a groggy voice. 
“Well, good morning to you too, hun, took you long enough! I’m very good, thanks for asking! And I got Niall to do it yesterday, obviously.” 
“... Morning Y/N.” 
“Oh, stop grumbling, it doesn’t suit you. Get up and get ready, I’m gonna facetime you in thirty minutes.” And before he could say anything, she hung up on him. 
He looked at this phone in disbelief. Did she just hang up on me on my birthday?! He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the soft smile that appeared on his face. To be honest, there were a lot of things he couldn’t help when it came to her. 
Half an hour later, when he was freshly showered and dressed, his phone rang with an incoming facetime call just like she said. She probably set an alarm for exactly thirty minutes, he thought fondly.
Her smiling face greeted him as he accepted the call. “Happy birthday, Haz!!”
“Thanks, love.” he chuckled, eyeing the tiny cupcake in front of her through the small screen. “Whatcha got there?”
“That’s your birthday cupcake, made it myself! Was tired of shitty store-bought cake.” 
“I don’t know, it looks kind of ugly.” he joked, grinning at her mock-offended face. “I could do better. I worked in a bakery, ya know.”
“You literally just ran the register and washed the dishes.”
“Still, in a bakery!” 
She was shaking her head at his shit-eating grin, but he could still see a soft smile playing at her lips. It caused his heart to flutter in his chest. What he wouldn’t give to see her smiling at him like that everyday. 
“Anyway, candle time!” she piped, grabbing a lighter from somewhere behind the camera and lighting up the single candle on her tiny cupcake.  
Harry watched her raise the cupcake closer to the camera and she instructed him to make a wish. This routine was familiar to them now. Every year, she would video call with a different type of cake, to make up for not being able to be there with him.
Harry closed his eyes, and made the same wish that he had been making for the last six years of his life. I wish you were mine. 
He opened his eyes and blew lightly towards the screen, her actions matching his as she blew out the candle in his place. She gave a little cheer afterwards, and the brightness of her eyes warmed him up all the way down to his toes, even through a phone screen. 
They talked for a while after that, catching up on each other’s lives and discussing the dates they would be able to meet up again. She hung up with a final ‘happy birthday, love you!’ and then he was left staring at his phone, a small smile still remaining on his face. I wish you were mine. 
And later, when he logged onto his twitter account and tweeted some certain song lyrics, he only cared about one person’s reaction out of millions. 
2018 - 24th birthday
“Hey. I’ve been looking for you.” 
Harry turned towards the kitchen door that led to the back garden, seeing her slide it close to make her way towards him.
“Just taking a breather, love.” he said, accepting his woolly coat that she handed him. “Thank you.”
“Didn’t want you to catch a cold.” She sat next to him on the wooden porch bench, wrapped up in her own fuzzy coat. There was another item in her hand, a thick, heavy looking box. 
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at it. 
“Oh, I came here to give it to you. Your final gift.” 
“Y/N.” he sighed. “The others were more than enough.” 
“I don’t think this even counts as my gift, honestly.” She grinned at the puzzled look on his face. “Just open it.” 
He did. Inside was a thick notebook, a scrapbook by the looks of it, that read ‘Happy Birthday Harry! - 2018’ 
He looked at her curiously, but she just smiled and told him to open it again. He turned to the first page, and ran his gaze across the page. His eyes widened in surprise. He quickly flipped a few pages to see that all of them had the same thing; printings. Printed screenshots from various social media platforms, of his fans wishing him a happy birthday. 
“I know you don’t use social media a lot these days.” she explained as he kept reading the tweets glued onto the scrapbook. “But you were trending on Twitter today, and yesterday too, lots of people wishing you a happy birthday and telling how much they loved you. I thought you might want to see it.”
He let out a watery laugh, not being able to tear his gaze away from the book in his hands. He couldn’t help the tears, not really. She had taken the time to print out lots and lots of tweets, instagram posts, everything; she had cut them and put them in this book and added little stickers in between with colorful doodles. And she had done it to carry his fans’ messages to him, she had basically hand-delivered their gifts of love to him.
“Thank you.” he breathed, his voice catching in his throat. “This is… I think this may be the best gift I’ve ever received.”
“Well, like I said, it’s not technically from me. I just put some tweets together, your fans are the ones who wrote them.” She paused, then added. “I just wanted you to see just how loved you are. By everyone. You have such a kind heart, and an amazing soul; all of these people are aware of it and they love you for it.” She tapped the book in his lap, emphasising her words. 
“Thank you.” he repeated himself, seemingly at a loss for words. He closed the book and carefully put it back in its box, intending to read everything in it later. He placed it beside him, then turned to her and pulled her in a hug. 
Her arms were around him in a second, not hesitating to tighten around him and pull him closer. She was so warm even in the cold weather, and she smelled so nice, and he wouldn’t be able to pull back if he tried. He didn’t know how long they sat there in each other's embrace, but when he felt her starting to lean back, something in him shifted. He turned his head towards her as she pulled away, so his cheek was softly grazing hers. She stilled a bit, looking into his eyes as if she was looking for something, then she closed her eyes and turned the rest of the way, her lips meeting his in a gentle kiss. 
His breath hitched in his throat as his lips slightly parted, a small gasp making its way out of them when he realized finally, finally he was kissing her. He was kissing Y/N. This was really happening.
He brought a hand up to gently cup her cheek, his thumb stroking her cheekbone as they kissed, probably the softest, the most incredible kiss of his life. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe how amazing she felt against him, how her hands in his hair felt just right, how warm her cheek was under his hand. 
But despite every bone in his body wanting to kiss her forever, he was the first one to pull away, because he just couldn’t keep it in anymore. “I wish you were mine.” 
“What?” she asked breathlessly, apparently still under the effect of their kiss.
“I wish you were mine.” he repeated. “That’s the wish I’ve made on every single birthday since I was sixteen. Everytime you looked at me and told me to make a wish, I was only able to think about how much I wanted to kiss you.” 
She stared at him with parted lips, looking into his eyes like she was trying to figure out if he was messing with him. She could only see love and admiration. 
“You’re an idiot, Harry Styles.” she breathed. Then, she cupped his face with her hands and kissed him again, and again, and again, and he felt like everything in his life was finally going to be okay. 
 some end notes: Sooo I’m sorry for the kind of shitty ending. It’s literally 3 am in Turkey rn and I have an early class but I just wanted to finish this quickly and post it before I went to bed. I haven’t written anything in months because I wasn’t 🌌feeling it🌌 so I basically bullied myself into writing this haha. This is my first posted Harry piece but there are a few other pieces I’ve been working on! (for months, literally. *sigh*)
~~
If you liked it, please feel free to reblog and leave a teeny tiny feedback! Writers really appreciate it!💜
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kisslettrs · 3 years
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haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o
featuring: lev, kuroo, suna
a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔
warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞
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→ HAIBIA LEV
you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.
lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.
“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him
“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.
“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”
you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.
“lev haiba!”
he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.
“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”
before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.
fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.
[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]
you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.
as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.
you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.
schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.
“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”
he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.
“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”
you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.
“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.
“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”
and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.
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→ KUROO TETSURO
you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’
however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.
kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.
yeah it didn’t go well uhh
“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”
“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”
you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”
“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”
“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”
it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.
you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”
as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.
next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”
you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?
the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.
you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.
some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.
you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.
[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]
[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]
[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]
choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.
[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.
you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.
Kyanma: ???
Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?
you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj
Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️
you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]
sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.
well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.
“hey y/n.”
“hi kuroo.”
you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”
kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”
“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”
you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.
“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”
“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.
as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.
before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”
fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”
his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”
he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”
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→ SUNA RINTARO
while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.
but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?
suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.
one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand
“what?” he asked.
you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”
you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”
“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”
“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.
this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...
“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”
well damn. his words hurt. a lot.
“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”
you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.
as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?
maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.
you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’
kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”
home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...
you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.
you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”
“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.
“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.
suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.
“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.
“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.
“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”
“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.
wow, this was even more rare.
you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.
suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.
as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”
you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.
431 notes · View notes
kanmom51 · 3 years
Text
JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years - 2017
Disclaimer: these are my own opinions and conclusions.  Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.
2017 - part 2
12 Feb 2017 – “You never walk alone” preview show.  Who’s JM’s little cutie? 
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14 Feb 2017 – JM Twitter post –  the boys with matching jackets.  I know. I said not Twitter, but sometimes rules are made to be broken.
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17 Feb 2017 – Hobi’s birthday.  JM to JK: “stop coming to our room at night.” There’s something about JM throwing JK under the bus time after time.  It’s like he enjoys to see JK squirm.
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22 Feb 2017 – Gaon Chart K-pop chart – JK ushering Hobi to another seat, so that JK can sit behind JM.  JM turning around see this, rolls his eyes and smirks.
24 Feb 2017 – KBS Music Bank comeback - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4_ASZuLeVk&t=156s  
Another one of my favourites.  A perfect example for both boys hesitance, wanting to touch, but just not getting there. 
 JM putting arm behind JK, but holding on to wall behind, and then matter of factually laying it on JK’s shoulder.  
JM micro touching, or brushing JK’s hand with his thumb.  
Prior to JM brushing JK’s hand with his thumb, JK’s hand is heart signing to JM. 
The minute JM moves his hand away, you see how the expression on JK’s face changes, then he rubs his hand where JM touched him.
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24 Feb 2017 fan meet – are they in actual F… sending flying kisses to each other?
25 Feb 2017 MBC music core comeback – JK moving Hobi aside, so that JK can stand behind JM.  JK being JM’s number 1 fanboy.
26 Feb 2017 – Wings – you never walk alone fan sign.  Really JM? What was that neck grab and what exactly were you doing there????  No, I don’t believe he kissed JK’s neck, but it sure was ‘out there’, so much so that Jin was in total shock when it happened.  JK was surprised by it, and I think that even JM was shocked by his own actions waling aimlessly in what seems like the wrong direction .
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28 Feb 2017 Run BTS episode 12. This one for me was cringe worthy, at some points I felt like an actual intruder.  JK the detective and JM the prisoner.  JK whacking JM on the behind (remember JK is the younger – how bold).  JM’s private dance for JK.  I know the episode was mostly scripted, but I seriously think JM was surprised by that smack to his behind.  Also, the way JK was looking at JM when he was dancing all heart hands for him.
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12 March 2017 - Wings tour Santiago Chile
Santiago day 2 – JK suffers from exhaustion.  As he is taken back stage to a treatment room, JM is the one to race after the team into the room.
JM is in the treatment room when the cameras come in.  He is standing there, and later, as the other members are walking in, JM is by JK’s side, helping the medical team lift up one of his legs.
The rest of the members come in together to see how JK is doing, and when the medical team suggest to take off JK’s pants, all the members leave the room.  All except for JM, who stays there with JK the whole time.
JM leaves the room only together with JK, after he feels better and is able to walk out of the room on his own two feet.
Wouldn’t you expect RM, being the leader and all, to be the one by JK’s side? Or J-Hope maybe?  Wouldn’t that have made more sense under the circumstances? Why JM?  
Because, clearly JM is the one JK feels closest to, the one he can be himself with freely, the one he doesn’t feel embarrassed or needs privacy from.
JM may not have been a family member, but he was the closest thing to it.  JM to JK is and was his home, his safe place, and most certainly the one to be by his side when he was in distress.
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March 2017 BTS Live trilogy episode the Wings tour in Santiago Chile & Brazil.  
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March 2017 BTS Live trilogy episode the Wings tour in Chicago.
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April 2017 3rd Muster dvd – the muster was at end of 2016, but dvd was released in 2017. During photo shoots they are being posed by the photographers.  Yes, there will be authentic moments between them, but sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s being directed.  That’s why I don’t always like to add these to my timeline.   Even so, they were so cute, so I couldn’t leave this one out.
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3rd April 2017 – BTS Front row live entertainment interview – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UotjcB_X4ag . What happened there?  
This one intrigues me. I watched and re-watched the full interview several times, and for the life of me I can’t see what happened there between JM and Hobi that triggered JK’s reaction?  JM’s placating look at JK, like telling him nothing happened… this one is used a lot to create the JK jealous narrative, and to be honest, I really don’t know what happened there. When JK turns back, JM looks into the camera with an uneasy gaze.
After that, most of the time, JM looks lost in his thoughts, not happy.  Towards the end they are asked what artist they would want to collaborate with, and Suga’s answer makes them all burst out in laughter, all accept for JM.  When he is asked and answers, you also see he is unhappy.  You can easily see something is bothering him.  JM just wasn’t his happy own self.  He looked pensive.  BTS did several interviews and had a concert that day, so maybe he was just tired or wound up, but he just wasn’t acting like himself.
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April 2017 - Bon Voyage 2 Hawaii
Highlights of the highlights: The but checking and identifying (are we taking skinship to another level, are we??).  
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JK getting drenched at the beach, JK getting drenched period. Lol.  
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JK gobbling down piping hot Pizza so JM can eat. 
JM playing footsies under the table with JK, all while sitting opposite V.  
JK edging JM to come along calling him “Aegyo” = “Baby”.  J
M making sure JK doesn’t go hungry, buying him food with his own money.  JM taking care of JK. 
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JK and JM on same team – the joy… Spending the day together and just being happy. 
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 Did JK really lose the game on purpose so he can be in the room with JM? 
The amount of times we hear Jimin-ssi in every kind of cute and flirty way JK can say it…
Bonus:
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22 April 2017 JK Vlive – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n8y3D0Z9pM . 
JK doing everything to get JM back to his room while playing loud music. 
JK’s face lighting up when JM returns to his room. 
JK telling JM he looks handsome without makeup.  
JK pissed off when V comes in too, saying “why is everyone coming?”.    
When V touches JK’s ear, JK pushes him away.  
JM moving off camera to fix his robe, and JK not taking his eyes off him.  
V putting his foot on JK’s back (this is something I have seen V do a few times, it’s not a gentle touch, to me it feels more like asserting dominance), and JM pushes him off.    
And what exactly did JM mean when he said he has no talent for games but “I was quite good at it a year ago”?  Only to be followed by the stare, OMG, the stare.  Why, oh why did V have to ruin the moment, eh?
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22-23 April 2017 Bangkok concert. Flirting on stage, attention to each other.
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24 April 2017 Eat Jin Vlive with JM and JK - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqxX_UGXSlY .   
Jin complaining why JM doesn’t hit him like he did JK, so JM hits him too. Lol. JM stealing the steak JK cuts for himself, while JK lets him, smiling.  The way JK just lets JM get away with anything, even interfering with the ultimate ‘ship’ - Jungfood. 
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3 June 2017 – J-14 magazine interview - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7rXl8uuUTY&t=306s .  from 3.33min. to 4.37min especially.
Wtf was JM up to there????? It looks pretty dubious, especially when you look at the faces on the two of them when it was going on.  Up to your interpretation.
2 June 2017 – Ceremonial first pitch at baseball match – Hanshin Koshien stadium - JK and JM’s jersey numbers – coincidence or not?
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12 June Festa 2017 BTS BangtanTv –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWA6f7g7NUQ&t=2s.
JK’s intense stare at JM, when JM joined the others in with the others when they were laughing at JK eating everyone’s food but not ordering any for himself, which causes JM to immediately stop laughing.  
Poor JK being blindsided when it was pointed out that the only one he bought a birthday present for last year was JM.  Oops. (why oh why JM did you throw him under the bus like that??? You were curious? Really???? JM keeps doing this) Poor boy was so embarrassed.  Hobi was the one to actually save him, stating how generous JK has become lately giving away his things that he didn’t need. JK never answered the question. 
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27 June 2017 BV2 special commentary live – JK getting all flustered when asked to explain the difference between BV1 and BV2.  JM looking at him, enjoying every second.
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4 August 2017 - KBS Music Bank Singapore.  JK not loving on Taemin.  The way he turns around the minute JM and Taemin interact, and the discontent look on his face…cold.  He’s not a happy camper.  He glancing in the direction a couple of times, but he is mostly turned away from them.   And when JM runs up to slap Taemin in the butt, JK sees this, averts his head, and just keeps walking off the stage.  He is clearly upset. Besides the obvious faces he makes, not waiting for Jimin when walking off stage is not something he usually does. Was it jealousy?  Was it just a disliking of Taemin specifically?  And if he dislikes Taemin, why is that?  We can’t know. 
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OK now, I know I said that I won’t be doing Twitter, but this one I felt I had to (again, oops):
On the 6th of August 2017 JM posted a photo he took during their Hawaii trip (BV2). Why take this photo, and why post it?  Do I really have to ask this question?
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29th August 2017 the famous, or infamous People Now “arrest me” interview -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgGxcMndEk8 .  
I couldn’t find the actual date of this interview, but it was uploaded end of August 2017. I really enjoyed this one.  Everyone talks about JK’s “arrest me” JM mishap during this interview.  The members reactions are to die for.  
Can someone tell me please what Suga told JK in Korean before they moved on?????  
Also, JK’s reaction when JM said he wanted to collab with Suga (watch from 7:58min), was like:
 W H A T  in  T H E  actual F U C K???. LMAO.  
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Summer package 2017 – released August 2017.
JK and JM being all playful by the pool.  JK letting us know how adorable JM is to him when he is swimming doggy style in the pool.
The one that stands out to me, though, is the ‘dream catcher necklace saga’.  Felt a little uneasy to see that one, like I was witness to a lover’s tiff.  
The boys were given a budget each to purchase themselves a gift.  They are taken together to a gift shop, where they check the merchandise out and each buy themselves a little souvenir.  When they all sit down to show each other their gifts, that’s when this moment happens.
JK takes out his gift. I once again want to emphasize, this is a gift he bought with his budget for himself.  He explains it’s a dream catcher and says he will put it in his room.  
JM, sitting next to him, takes it from JK and says: “this is a necklace Jungkook-ssi”. 
JK blurts out adamantly that he won’t hang it around his neck.   
This is when things get awkward, because you can see JM is clearly upset, throws the necklace back at JK and says: “OK, then”.
JM has a dream catcher necklace around his neck too, and when it’s his turn to tell what gift he bought himself he takes the necklace off and gives it to V, saying he bought the gift for V, who had a nightmare last night.
After JM’s mini tantrum JK, who previously adamantly professed he will not put it around his neck, does everything he can to put the necklace on, finally turning to JM to help him put the it on, which he does.  
Later on, while sitting for the personal interview, with the necklace around his neck, he tells us how from now on he won’t have nightmares.
What did I get from all that?
Clearly JM was pissed at JK’s reaction.  Why?  JK clearly bought this by himself for himself. 
But did he?  Was it something he chose for himself, or was it something JM suggested to him?
JM also bought a dream catcher.  Was that a coincidence?  For some reason, I don’t think so.  
My theory is that the dream catcher is something JM suggested or wanted JK to buy for himself, and JK reluctance to wear it offended him.  JM clearly bought the other dream catcher for V.  Perhaps he wanted both his boys to have one, and to him, JK’s comment felt as a rejection.
The way JK reacted to JM, his immediate change of attitude towards the necklace, trying to put it on, when only a second earlier he said he won’t put this around his neck, shows how attuned he was to JM, how he immediately realised he did something wrong, something to upset JM, and how he tried, in his own way, to atone for it, by wearing the same thing he but seconds ago rejected.
This brings me back to the point I made about the boys relationship, and them finding the balance. A perfect example to how there will still be conflict, but how JK realises, immediately, that he had done wrong and what he has done wrong, and immediately sets to right the wrong, hence to restore that balance.
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JM throwing the necklace at JK.  Also, notice the editor’s remark.  JM’s anger is obvious not only to me.
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To be continued... 
216 notes · View notes
comfortwriting · 3 years
Text
Diamond Flower - F.W
Masterlist, Requesting Rules, Writing Prompts
Fred Weasley x Fem Reader
Prompts 25, 28 & 30. 
25: “Do you think she’ll like the ring?” He asked sounding nervous. 
28: You held the letter close to your heart and blushed, giggling like a little girl.
30: Tiptoeing into your room, admiring you dreaming away, he placed your presents at the end of the bed and left. 
About: The reader hates her birthday and Fred wants to change that. 
Warnings: food and eating, death of y/n’s mother during birth.
Sitting down at the dinner table with the rest of your boyfriends family, you looked around the kitchen to see where he and his twin were, Molly muttered under her breath in annoyance and you couldn’t help but chuckle. 
“Where are they! those two would be late to their own bloody wedding!” she huffed, passing you the dish of mashed potatoes. 
“I’m sure they just got carried away, you know what they’re like” you reassured her, putting the mash on your plate “they’ll be home any minute”
Fred and George went to Diagon Alley for the day, they said they had business plans to handle with the shop being so successful but instead, George was helping his twin look for an engagement ring. 
“bit naff proposing on her birthday though, isn’t it?” he asked, looking at different rings. 
Fred shook his head walking over to the next cabinet “she hates her birthday and we already talked about this years ago, it would give her a reason to be happy and to celebrate it.”
George spotted a ring with a sparkling ruby, pointing at it “so that's the only reason why you’re proposing then?” 
Fred rolled his eyes and slapped his brothers arm, looking at the ring and shaking his head, focusing on the other ones.
“is it fuck, you’re starting to sound like Ron, Georgie.”
Fred stopped in his tracks, picking up the perfect ring, the diamond shaped like a flower. “I’m marrying Y/N because I love her, George.”
Fred tapped on the glass and called out to the saleswoman behind the counter “Can I get this ring please?”
Fred turned to face his brother “I just want the most depressing day of the year for her to be one of the happiest, something for her to be happy about, you know?”
The saleswoman took out her wand and unlocked the cabinet, picking up the ring. “the ring size?”
Fred took out his square piece of paper and handed it to her, the lady smiled and tapped the ring with her wand, changing its size. 
All three of them walked back over to the counter, the saleswoman putting it inside a sleek dark blue box. 
“but why is she so against her birthday?” George asked, focusing on the ring box.
Fred focused on the ring box too “because her mother died whilst giving birth to her, Y/N blames herself.”
The saleswoman took the gold from Fred and handed him the ring box, him and George walking out back into the evening cold.
“Do you think she’ll like the ring?” He asked sounding nervous. 
George nodded “she’ll love it, mate.”
Ron took the dish from you, his mouth full of Yorkshire pudding “there’ll be none left by the time they bet back” 
Hermione scowled at him “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Ronald!”
“None of what?” You boyfriend, Fred chimed in, sitting next to you and placing a kiss on your temple. 
George followed behind and sat next to Ginny, flashing his mum an apologetic look, muttering that he would explain later. 
You loved Sunday roast dinners at the burrow, surrounded by the Weasley family, Angelina, Hermione and Harry, all of you one big family - you missed the presence of Bill and Fleur but the new baby meant they had to take advantage of any shut eye they could get. 
Casual talk went across the table, work, work, more work, and you were thankful - at this rate your upcoming birthday would go unnoticed and not mentioned. Unfortunately, a glint of excitement flashed in Molly’s eyes when her focus landed on you. 
“Oh Y/N! How could I forget dear!” she beamed, getting out of her seat, swishing her wand collecting all of the empty plates “your birthday in four days, do you have any plans?” 
Fred and George shared a nervous glance, Fred’s hands now under the table, playing with his fingers. 
Hermione went quiet and flashed you a sympathetic look, she knew how much you hated celebrating your birthday and she felt guilty for not telling Mrs Weasley that you preferred to spend the day alone. 
You shook your head, moving back whilst your plate hovered in the air, flying towards the other pile of plates on the worktop “no” you replied, smiling slightly “just going to stay home and catch up on some reading”
Molly waved her hand and shook her head “that's no way to celebrate your birthday! Ginny and I will bake you something special, won’t we?” 
Molly walked over to her daughter and stood behind her seat, placing her motherly hands on Ginny’s shoulders. Ginny smiled widely and nodded “of course! been wanting to get more practice for ages!” 
You knew if you were to back out now Molly would take it personally, and you didn’t want to hurt her feelings after everything she has done for you since Fred welcomed you into his home five years ago. 
You smiled and looked at Fred, his expression slightly sad with a splash of worry “is that okay with you?” 
Fred nodded and smiled “it’s your special day, darling.” 
You pulled back your quilt and got into bed, pulling the sheets back over your cold legs, Fred leant against the door frame and stared at you for a moment, he walked into the bedroom and got undressed, climbing into bed next to you. 
“I’m sorry love, you know what my mum is like” he murmured through a yawn, spooning you. 
You nodded and dimed the lights “it’s okay Freddie, she doesn’t know”
The two of you were silent for a moment, Fred slowly placing loving kisses on the back of your neck. You remembered the looks he and George were giving each other over dinner, the low muttering and whispers. 
“what were you and George up to?” you asked quietly “you were late to dinner and kept giving each other odd looks.”
Fred didn’t answer, his breath hitched in his throat “uh, we... a trial for one of our new products didn’t go to well” he lied, shuffling slightly.
You knew Fred wasn’t telling the truth, you could always tell when he was lying - but you were too tired to push his buttons and you just wanted the next four days over and done with. 
“okay” you yawned, sinking into the mattress, drowning in Fred’s arms and covers “goodnight Freddie”
“goodnight love”
The morning of your birthday, Fred got up bright and early, the shop hours today were altered so he could be home earlier to support you, but with that he needed to be up and out the house earlier too. 
Fred put on his coat, nearly ready to set off for work, he got out your presents and a special card in a deep blue envelope that matched the colour of the ring box which he hid behind the photo frame of the two of you at the Yule Ball. 
Tiptoeing into your room, admiring you dreaming away, he placed your presents at the end of the bed and left.
Fred couldn’t stop his nerves, between serving customers and stocking the shelves with products he couldn’t help but chew George’s other ear off with his worries. 
“what if Y/N says no?”
George shook his head and rolled his eyes “don’t be a plonker, she isn't going to say no, now get those bloody skiving Snackboxes out!”
Once you were able to roll out of bed, you took a bath and tried to stop the guilt from taking over you, opening your presents you were so touched by the beautiful gifts Fred had got you - feeling very grateful and slightly better than you were expecting. 
As the day went by, like Fred, you felt more and more nervous, your stomach doing flips and your hands shaking like a tree in the wind - you didn’t know how ready you were for a big cake, all the singing, blowing out the candles, and cheering; but you couldn’t back out, not now.
Dragging yourself into your room, you put on your best dress which sparkled different shades of purple in different lights, and you put on your favourite earrings - a present from Freddie for you first year together. 
Hearing a cracking noise, you turned around and gripped your dresser, trying to catch your breath. Fred apparated in front of you with a cheerful expression on his face, he pulled you into a tight embrace.
“you look gorgeous, Y/N.” he kissed your head, pulling away from the embrace. 
Fred was already dressed in his smart suit, he kept turning his head and looking over the the living room. 
“do you hear that?” he asked you, walking out of the bedroom.
You shook your head “no, what is it?” and followed him into the living room.
Fred stood in front of the same picture frame on the wall, staring at the two of you smiling in your best outfits on Christmas Day. 
“you shook see what's behind it, love.”
You looked into Fred’s eyes and knitted your eyebrows together, a rare smirk spreading across your face. “no funny business” you warned him, chuckling slightly. 
Walking over to the picture frame and pulling it out from the wall, the dark blue envelope hiding behind it swiftly fell to the floor, landing on your feet. Bending over and picking it up, your name was written across it in silver. 
You looked at Fred for a moment, he looked back at you with a nervous look on his face. 
“Open it, sweetheart.”
Opening the envelope, you pulled out the letter inside. 
You held the letter close to your heart and blushed, giggling like a little girl.
Fred knew how much you loved his love letters, the two of you used to write back and forth whenever you were apart. 
You pulled the letter away from your heart and started to read:
Dear Y/N,
Words can’t ever explain or describe how much I love you, how much I adore you, what you and your smile does to me and my heart. You are perfect, you are my sunshine on a cloudy day, you’re my liquid luck.
I know this day is never easy for you, but please know it wasn’t and never will be your fault. 
I feel so blessed to have you in my life and I don’t ever want to experience a life without you - I know I’m stupid sometimes with all the pranks and being the hilarious one in the relationship, but you are my everything and you keep me grounded, you make this house feel like a home. 
Please put down the letter and say yes.
- Freddie.
Moving the letter out of your view, your jaw dropped and tears of happiness instantly pricked your eyes and filling them. In front of you, Fred got down on one knee and looked up at you, holding out a beautiful engagement ring, the diamond in the shape of your favourite flower. 
“Miss Y/N Y/L/N, my liquid luck, my everything - will you marry me?”
Putting your hands over your mouth you nodded your head, blinking away the tears “yes! I will Freddie!”
Fred got up, tears in his eyes too and placed the stunning ring on your finger, pulling you into his arms and sharing a long and special kiss. 
Blowing out the candles on your toffee cake, everyone in the burrow cheered, George flashing Fred a huge smile once he saw the ring on your finger. 
Cutting the cake into slices and putting each slice on the duck egg blue plates, you handed Molly her slice of cake, her eyes widening when she spotted the ring. Leaping out of her chair, she pulled you into a tight hug, tears in her eyes matching yours and Fred's. 
“Oh everyone, look!” she gabbed your hand, making you show off the beautiful ring “Fred and Y/N are engaged!” 
Looking into the eyes of your future husband, you smiled and mouthed “best birthday ever”
Taglist: @reeophidian @amourtentiaa @inglourious-imagines
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simp4reggie · 4 years
Note
Can you do a Luke x reader where the reader is Luke’s best friend and Luke is telling her about his developing crush on Julie. But unbeknownst to Luke, Y/N (the reader) had been harboring a crush on Luke, but she has to deal with seeing Luke and Julie being playful with each other, constantly feeling jealous but wanting Luke to be happy. This leads the reader to get distant and starts avoiding Luke. The bad notices this and tries to contact her, at this time Luke realizes that he has feelings for Y/N. Then they make up and have a happy ending!! Make it fluffy, good luck!!
Only Took 25 Years
Luke x Reader
Word Count: 3014 Words
A/N: @mggpleasedontlookhere I did it a slight bit different but I hope you like it! 
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Back in 1995, we all died. The boys were rehearsing for their gig at the Orpheum. I was in the “audience” watching them perform their hearts out, specifically Luke. He’s been my best friend since we were very young but for years I’ve always felt a little more about him. He’s the sweetest, most energetic person I know. He’s like a puppy dog. It kills me to know he doesn’t feel the same way. 
I heard the final strum of ‘Now or Never’ pulling me from my thoughts. I saw Luke waving me over to the stage. Behind me, a waitress clapped and cheered for them. “Thank you. We’re Sunset Curve,” Reggie said and winked at her . 
“Good job guys! This might be the best one yet,” I cheered walking on the stage.
“Thanks, (Y/N),” Bobby said, still on the high from performing. “Too bad we wasted that on sound check!”
I gave them each a hug but when I got to Luke it felt like it lingered longer than the rest of them. It was probably just in my head. 
“Wait until tonight, man, when this place gets packed with record execs,” Luke said with his arm around my shoulders. 
“Alex, you were smoking,” I heard Reggie say. 
“Oh no. I was just warming up. You guys were the ones on fire,” Alex shrugged off the compliment. 
I rolled my eyes. “Could you just own your awesomeness for once?” He smiled back at me and said, “All right, I was killing it.” We all laughed before Luke suggested getting street dogs before the show to fuel up. Reggie, Alex, and I all agreed while Bobby got sidetracked and started walking towards the waitress from before.
“Hey Bobby! Where you going?” Luke removed his arm from my shoulder to go catch up with him. All of a sudden I felt cold like my skin missed the feeling of his touch. I shook the feeling off and went to stand next to the guys.
“You guys are really good. I see a lot of bands. Been in a couple myself. I was really feeling it.” The waitress said to the guys.
“Thanks. That's what we do this for. I’m Luke by the way.” “Hi! I’m Reggie.” “Alex.” “Bobby,” The guys went down the line and stared at me. “Oh well, I’m (Y/N). I’m just a friend of the band.”
“She’s more than a friend,” Luke starts to say. My heart starts to race. “She’s the one who makes sure everything is set. Our instruments, the club dates, everything. Without her we’re just four boys without a clue.” I give him a little nudge. 
“Give yourself some credit. Without me you could get on any stage and become rock stars.” He gave me a side hug.
“Anyway, it was nice meeting all of you. I’m Rose.”
“Uh here’s our demo and a t-shirt. Size: beautiful.” Reggie hands her a CD and a shirt he must have grabbed from the stage before walking over. 
“I’ll make sure not to wipe the tables down with this one.” Rose says putting it on her shoulder. 
“Oh good call. Whenever they get wet, they kinda just fall apart in your hands.” I say to her. The guys stare at me unamused. “What?”
“Don’t you guys have to go get hot dogs?” Bobby says obviously trying to get some alone with Rose. 
“Yeah he had a hamburger for lunch,” Luke says while walking away. We all follow him until we're outside the theatre. 
We decide to go get street dogs a couple blocks away. After making our hot dogs off the back of the oldsmobile, we choose to sit on the couch available squishing together so we fit. 
“You guys, this is awesome! You’re playing the Orpheum!” I exclaimed. “I can’t even count how many bands have played here and then ended up being huge! You’re going to be legends.”
Luke wrapped his arm that wasn’t holding a hot dog around me. “And you’ll be there every step of the way. You’re just as a part of the band as each of us.” I smile at him. “Eat up. ‘Cause after tonight, everything changes.” 
We all took a bite of our hot dogs. There was something off about my hot dog. I couldn’t find a word to describe it. And not in a good way. Alex voiced my thoughts, “That’s a new flavor.” I looked at him and he looked back at me like “Should we really be eating this?”
“Chill man. Street dogs haven’t killed just yet.” And then they did.
After we died, we ended up going into this black room where Alex ended up crying, a lot. Then after an hour ended up in their old studio. We found out it's 2020 and a lot has changed. After a lot of screaming and pleading, the girl who lives there now, Julie, ended up letting us stay there. Now here we are a couple days later, about to watch her perform for her teacher for the first time since her mom died. 
Luke gave her an old Sunset Curve that they never got a chance to record. I know it hasn't been long but I feel like Luke has started growing infatuated with her. After we heard her sing for the first time, he hasn’t stopped talking about how talented she is. I know he doesn’t want him to know but I saw him in the studio looking through lyrics using different handwriting. I’m surprised he’s not talking about that yet. 
The pop group that is performing ends and the principal goes on stage. Julie’s friend says to her “Now’s your chance. Go talk to her. I’ll see you in music class.”
“What are you waiting for? This is your time.” Reggie looks at Julie who might “yak in a bowl” if she waits any longer. 
“I just don’t think I had enough time to work on the song.” Julie says worried. 
“I wouldn’t have given you the song if I didn’t think you were gonna rock it. Now there’s a piano on that stage with your name on it.” Luke convinces her. Julie goes backstage and walks on looking nervous. 
“Oh I can’t watch.” I go to turn around but Luke puts his arm around to keep me in place. When Julie looks at us we all give her a thumbs up, mine not as enthusiastic as the others. 
Everyone in the auditorium starts to leave, she starts to play. The piano sounds beautiful with her voice. The occasional student walks over to watch but most of them already have their feet out the door. Then there are lights put on her. The song starts to reach the chorus and all of a sudden I don’t feel Luke’s arm around me and I don’t see the guys. That’s when I notice that I hear cheering and look up to see them on stage with her. After putting two and two together I realize that they are visible to the audience. How is that even possible?
I go run up to the front of the stage. “How is this even happening?” I yell up to them. Reggie looks at me and shrugs. They look so happy. They never thought this was even possible. I look over at Luke and see Julie singing with him. I get a twinge of jealousy wishing I could have this connection with him but I never will. They have so much chemistry on stage I don’t even want to watch. I spend the rest of the time watching Alex and Reggie. 
At the end of the song, they bow and the boys disappear with their instruments. I go out into the hallway to find them pacing around. “Did that just happen?’’ They turn around and give me a massive hug.
“I can’t believe that just happened! Everyone could see us. Please tell me I”m not the only one freaking out!” Alex starts panicking so I walk over and rub his back to calm him down. 
“Bro, I think we’re all freaking out!” Luke eagerly says. “People can see us play. How cool is that?”
“So cool.” Reggie smiles at Luke and they do a little handshake.
They start talking about the performance but my mind keeps going back to Julie and Luke together on that stage. 
“Guys i'm gonna go home.”
“What why?” They say together.
“I’m just not feeling too well. Talk to Julie and see what’s causing this. I’m happy for you.” I see Luke step forward but I poof out before he can say anything.
Back at the studio, I start to spiral downward. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can barely pick something up. I realize being at the studio is doing nothing to help me so I go for a walk on the beach. It made me realize how much I missed being alive and feeling the sand between my toes when the guys and I needed to get away from our families. The nights we would spend here watching the sunset, which inspired the band name. 
Before I know it the sunset comes and goes. The guys are definitely home at this point. I poof back to see them pacing around. “(Y/N)!” Luke runs up to me. “Where have you been? We were getting worried. 
“Just went for a walk to clear my head. A lot has been changing recently.” I walk past him to sit on the couch. I need to talk to someone about this. “Alex, can I talk to you for a minute, alone.”
Alex looks over at Luke and Reggie as if telling them to go. Luke looks a little offended that I don’t want to talk to him but he poofs out first. Reggie follows after him. After they’re both gone, he checks behind the door to make sure they’re not spying and then walks over to the couch and sits down. 
“What’s going on (Y/N)?” 
“A lot, honestly.”
“Well it must be if you don’t want to talk to Luke about it.” He looks at me knowingly. “Is it about him?”
“How do I say I’ve been in love with him for over 25 years?” Alex just stares at me like it wasn’t brand new information. “Is it that obvious?”
“To me but Reggie is oblivious to everything. Why did you disappear after the performance though?”
“Did you not see him and Julie on stage together? They totally had chemistry. I can’t compete with that.” I see him look at me with pity. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I-I’m not looking at you in any way. I’m just paying attention.” I roll my eyes. “But in all seriousness, are you going to talk to him about this?”
“Of course not. He doesn’t like me back. He’s my best friend and I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way if he actually said to my face.” I can’t picture my life without Luke in it and I don’t ever want to experience it. 
“Well, ignoring him isn’t going to help either. He was worried about you when you left and even more when we came back and you were gone. He needs you, too. He needs someone to be there to boost his ego.” He nudges me. I chuckle.
“You’re right,” I nudge him back. “Thank you for talking to me. I needed to get it off my chest.
“No problem. I’m always here for you.” I give him a big hug. We may be ghosts but I at least get to have these moments with the boys. 
“Oh. By the way, we asked Julie to join the band and she said yes. That’s okay, right?” Alex said quickly.
“Yeah. It’s your band, you don’t need my permission.”
Weeks go by and it’s getting harder to watch Julie and Luke sing together. I can see from the way Luke looks at her that he likes her. I’ve been thinking about my conversation with Alex about how much he needs me but he’s been going to Julie more often that it doesn’t feel like he does. Because of this I’ve been spending more and more time at the beach. Only Alex knows where I’m going in case of emergencies. 
“Hey.” I hear to the left of me. I look to see Luke standing there. 
“Hey. How did you know I was here?”
“I asked Alex. You’ve only been talking to him recently. I didn’t know I would have to find out what’s going on with my best friend from someone besides her,” He sits down in the sand next to me. “But of course, even Alex won’t tell me because he’s too good a friend.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I turn away from him.
“You know exactly what I mean. You’ve been dismissive. You’ve been acting weird ever since we performed at the spirit rally. You’re never around anymore.” He tries to get me to look at him but I refuse. “Fine. If you’re going to ignore me, I don’t even know why I’m going to try.” He poofs out. I start crying right there. I know that I said it would be hard to not have him in my life but now I don’t know because I don’t know which one feels worse. 
I hear another noise and I turn, hoping Luke came back but  of course not. “Oh, it’s you.”
“You don’t sound too happy about that.” Alex takes the spot where Luke was not too long ago. “Look, I know it’s difficult but try not to be too hard on the guy. He doesn’t know how you feel.”
“It’s not just about that. I know that we’re dead. Okay? I’m not dumb but it still hurts that I can’t help in the ways I used to. I was the one in charge of booking clubs and managing the tour dates. Now, I can’t do that because nobody can see me. I know its bullshit and there’s other things to be upset about. I just miss being an important part of this band,” I stop for a second but he doesn’t say anything so I keep going. “Too much is changing and I can’t handle it. I love you Alex, I do. And I am so thankful that you’re here right now but Luke was the one I was going to about this stuff. I can’t now, not only because I am gut wrenchingly , painstakingly, heartbreakingly IN LOVE with him, but because he’s spending every waking moment with Julie. I just, I don't know what to do.” Once I’m done I just let my back hit the sand. 
“Yes, you do.” I hear a voice that’s not Alex and I’m really hoping it doesn't belong to Luke. However, as soon as I open my eyes I see him looking over me. “You always know what to do.” 
I stand up to look at him and notice that Alex left us alone. “Luke... what are you doing back here?”
“After I went back home, I realized something. I couldn’t leave you alone. Obviously, you had something going on. It shouldn’t have mattered if you told me anyway. Just that you weren’t alone.” 
“How much did you hear?”
“Enough. I didn’t know you felt that way. About any of it. I know it’s hard that you can’t help like you used to. It’s not bullshit, okay? You helped us so much and now it may feel like we don’t need you but we most definitely do. Who’s going to keep us sane? Alex? Seriously, he cried for 25 years with no hug and he won’t let us forget it! No, you will. You have been there since the beginning and you are a massive part of this band. You always will be.” Tears are streaming down his face.
“What about Julie?”
“What about her?”
“You’ve been spending so much time with her. Outside of the band and song writing. All you do now is hang out with her. I miss you so much, Luke. You have no idea.” I turn away from him like before.
“Nope. No.” He pulls me back to face him. “You’re not shutting me out again. You’ve spent more time here than you have at home. You can’t do that and then talk about me not seeing you more.”
“Luke you know that’s different.”
“No, it’s not.” He stops.
“What do you mean?” I stare at him, waiting for the words to come but won’t be prepared to hear.
“All of the time I spent writing and singing on stage, whenever I was hanging out with Julie, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every time I was singing I looked at you in the audience but you weren’t looking at me. You were looking at someone else.”
“I couldn’t look at you. You were looking at Julie. You have a connection with her.”
“I have a connection with everybody I sing with. Hell, I have a connection with Reggie when I sing with him. But neither of them are you, (Y/N). I love you.”
“You what?” I walk closer to him.
“You heard me.” 
“Say it again.” I demand.
“I love you.” Luke was right. I do know what to do. I threw my arms around him and put my lips on his. Our mouths molded together like a perfect fit. I felt alive again.
“I love you too.” I said against his lips. He let me go. 
“Good or else that would’ve been awkward.” I laughed. I can’t help but hug him again. He hugs me back harder than before, resting his chin on my head. “God, I love you. It feels so good to say that.” 
 I look up at him. It feels so good to be in his arms. It feels so good to be able to hold him the way I wanted to. It only took 25 years and a hot dog.
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Requests are still open! Feel free to send some my way
- Maddie xxx
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tornbetween2loves · 2 years
Text
My Heart Torn Apart, 5 Years Later
The Final Seed
Tumblr media
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry, I am simply borrowing them.
Warning: Lots of angst and some sexual suggestion. Please do not read if you're under the age of 18. Liam, Riley and Drake are in a polyamorous relationship in this series, so please don't read if that's not your thing.
This is the first fic I've written in quite some time, so please be gentle with me.
This is a chapter in a series. You should read previous chapters first. You can find them here.
I believe I've tagged everyone I should have. I'm sorry if I missed anyone. Please feel free to send me a message requesting to be added or deleted from my tags.
Bastien stood in front of the mirror, freshly showered and shaved. He ran a comb through his hair then stared at his reflection for a long time. He tried to make sense of the feeling in the pit of his stomach that had been growing since his encounter with Olivia earlier. He was surprised at the effect she had on him. And he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was up to something. His eyes narrowed as he scolded himself with his thoughts.
Don’t let her get under your skin.
Remain in control at all times.
Even as he repeated the words over and over again in his head he couldn’t help the flashes of fiery red hair in his mind’s eye. Lady Olivia always had her hair restrained, usually pulled up in a bun on the top of her head. During their earlier encounter he imagined pulling her close and loosening her hair. He could see the crimson waves fall around her face to her shoulders as she shook her head violently then met his eyes as she sank her teeth into her bottom lip.
A soft knock at the door interrupted the fantasy. “Shit, get a hold of yourself,” he cursed aloud as he turned away from the mirror. He moved into the other room, but stopped short of the door when he realized he was wearing nothing but a towel that barely covered his raging erection. He sighed in annoyance and called out, “One second please,” as he scrambled to pull on a pair of sweatpants.
He heard a whoosh sound and the sound of someone walking away from the door as he pulled a shirt over his head. He looked over and saw a manila envelope that was slid under the door. He moved to open the door quickly, but whoever left the envelope was gone. He closed the door and opened his top dresser drawer to retrieve a pair of gloves. He picked up the envelope gingerly, being careful to only handle the edges as he flipped it over to open it. He shook his head as he slid the single piece of paper out of the envelope. He knew exactly who left the envelope. There was a yellow post-it stuck to the paper with a scribbled note.
The final seed has been planted.
The color drained from Bastien’s face as he skimmed the contents of the page. He reached for his phone and sent a quick text before going to the closet to get dressed.
******************************************
Olivia swirled the ice cubes around in her empty glass as she glanced at the clock on the wall. 8:15. She did not like to be kept waiting. After 5 more minutes she stood up with an annoyed sigh and walked over to the bar to pour another drink. She added some more ice and covered the cubes with vodka, then added a splash of tonic and a twist of lime. She swirled the glass around again before gulping down half the glass. Then she walked back to the couch and set the glass on the table in front of her as she checked the clock again. 8:25.
Despite her annoyance, Olivia couldn’t help but be concerned. She knew Bastien was very punctual and meticulous. There is no way he could run this late without contacting her. Unless maybe he chickened out. Got cold feet. She smirked as she grabbed her glass and took another swig. That didn’t sound like Bastien either. At least not the man she knew. But then again, she only knew him as head of the Royal Guard. Always stoic, never wavering. She knew very little about Bastien, the man.
She finished off her drink and set the glass back on the table with an authoritative thud. She walked over to the full-length mirror on the other side of the room. Her black cocktail dress hugged her curves in all the right places and the scoop neckline showed just a hint of cleavage. She didn’t want to come on too strong. Her hair was parted and swept over her left shoulder in soft waves. The dress came to about mid-thigh and she wore black stockings that shimmered in the light. Red patent-leather stilettos finished off her look of seduction. She looked perfect.
“What a waste,” she mumbled out loud as she turned to check the clock again. 8:30. Ok, obviously something was wrong. The question was, what should she do about it? Just then her phone pinged. She found her phone in her purse on the bed and unlocked it. She expected to see a text, but rolled her eyes when she realized it was a news notification. She clicked on it, then her jaw dropped to the floor as she read the headline across the top of the screen. “Oh my god, no,” she stammered as she dropped her phone.
The Duchess didn’t even stop to pick up the phone or grab her purse, or even her keys. She opened the door and sped through the halls as quickly as possible. The closer she got to the Royal Apartment the more people were buzzing about the halls. Royal Guards were everywhere, blocking every entrance and exit, even the secret passageways. She pushed through until she found who she was looking for.
There he was, standing outside the entrance to the apartment, giving orders through his earpiece. He was a little more unkempt than usual, his suit was still perfectly pressed but his hair wasn’t slicked back and in his haste he forgot to put on a tie. She was struck by how sexy he looked, she had never seen him like that before. She stopped short a few feet away.
As if he sensed her presence, Bastien looked up and locked his grey eyes on her emerald pools. She saw something there this time, a flicker of emotion. But what emotion was it? Anger? Sadness? Relief? She couldn’t quite tell. She moved close to him with a look of concern. “Are you ok,” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper. He nodded.
“Are my friends ok,” she asked as her eyes dampened with tears. He shook his head as they locked eyes again and a chill ran down Olivia’s spine as she realized what emotion she saw on Bastien’s face.
It was fear.
*******************************************
Madeline could not wipe the grin off her face as she gave a nonchalant wave to the guard at the palace gate. It wouldn’t be long before Bastien sent guards to her quarters to fetch her. Then he would send a caravan out to look for her in the city and lock down the palace. The Royal Guard would patrol all the well-known routes between the palace and Fydelia. They wouldn’t find her.
She turned off onto a small, two-lane road that led into the forest and twisted into the mountains. Leo had shown her this route when they were together, a back road that connected Cordonia with its duchies. He used it often to avoid the press. By the time her phone buzzed from the news notification, she was already deep into the surrounding forest and the sun was almost completely set. She laughed out loud as she imagined the chaos at the palace. Her plan was in motion. All she had to do was wait and watch it unfold.
The only unknown was Bastien. Would he accept her offer? She remembered their conversation the day before.
“Once public support begins to falter for the current Royal Family, we release the journal. Then I use it as a basis to stake a claim for the throne. All I need from you is the journal.”
“What’s in it for me?”
“A place at my side. To rule as my king. We could marry and stake the claim together.”
She had tried to read a reaction in Bastien’s eyes, but as usual it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. He said nothing, just raised an eyebrow at her and turned to leave. Madeline knew she had him thinking about it, he would have detained her right there otherwise. But he turned a blind eye and allowed her to continue with her plan.
Sometimes, inaction is a reaction.
@ask-kennaandval @nestledonthaveone @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @blackcatkita @lovingchoices14 @mrsnazariowrites @leelee10898 @darley1101 @innerpostmentality @texaskitten30 @lodberg @alesana45 @mom2000aggie @blog-just-here-to-read @angelasscribbles @indiacater @tessa-liam @twinkle-320 @imjusthereforliam @gkittylove99 @21-wishes @parisa-kh @killerkennacrisp @lyannacyrill706 @princess-geek @peonierose @karahalloway @kat-tia801 @aussiegurl1234 @jovialyouthmusic
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snowdice · 3 years
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Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 67]
I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.
My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30
Got many things to do today, though I do have a meeting in a bit over an hours, so there will be a break.
Chapter 31
Logan waited for a while after Patton left to check on Virgil, but the two never resurfaced. It was odd, Patton would usually remember to come back and get Logan or at least tell them where they were. With a sigh, Logan climbed to his feet to go find them. It took him a while to weave his way through the maze of bushes to them especially because they were suspiciously quiet (Well, suspicious for Patton. Virgil was often unnervingly quiet when alone.) Luckily, he knew the bushes enough after all of these years not to get lost and managed to find the two after a few minutes.
“Ah,” he said, immediately identifying the reason for Patton disappearing.
 “Logan!” Patton said, his voice excited, but also quieter than normal. “We found a kitty!”
“I can see that,” Logan responded, taking a step closer. The cat hissed at him in response. The hissing was so intense and wild that he’d suspect the thing was feral if it wasn’t happily on Virgil’s lap having had it’s head in Patton’s lap before Logan had approached.
“No,” Virgil told the animal as though it could understand words. “That’s Logan. Be nice.”
The cat still glared at him and swished it’s tail back and forth threateningly. Virgil pet the top of it’s head and it broke eye contact with Logan to purr.
 Patton seemed delighted by the purring, reaching to stroke under the thing’s chin carefully. “We should give her a name!” Patton said.
Virgil frowned. “I thought her name was Ghost Kitty.”
“That is ‘Ghost Kitty’?” Logan asked skeptically. From what Patton had said about that cat, it was terrified of people and no one could ever get near it, even him. Now it was in Virgil’s lap?
“But that was a temporary name,” Patton said, “for before we officially met her. Now we have to give her a real name.”
“Do not give it a name,” Logan said. “You will get attached.”
 “How do you name a cat?” Virgil asked.
“Do not name it,” Logan said.
“You give them names based on their personalities, how they look, or even just because it’s a cute name,” Patton explained. “Like, remember Mittens? I named her Mittens because she has white fur and black paws!”
Virgil looked at the cat. “She’s completely black,” he said.
Patton hummed. “So, we could give her a name based on that like Midnight or Shadow.”
“Those are fine,” Virgil said.
“No, no,” Patton said. “I’m just giving you examples. You get to name her yourself.”
“This is a bad idea,” Logan said.
 “Just throw out some names,” Patton said. “Anything you can think of.”
“Uh,” Virgil said. “Knife.”
“…Just Knife?” Patton asked.
“Nightmare.” Virgil seemed to think about it. “No, that’s mean.”
“How about things you like?” Patton suggested.
“Alfredo?”
Oh no, Logan thought, he was worse than Patton at cat naming.
“Good start,” Patton said. “Logan, do you have any suggestions.”
“Cat,” Logan said.
“Real suggestions,” Patton scolded.
Logan sighed and thought for a moment. “Aphrodite.”
“Catphrodite!”
Logan glared at him. “Helena.”
“Helenpaw.”
“Claudia.”
“Clawdia.”
“Persephone.”
Patton smiled at him, cheerfully.
“…Damnit!”
Patton turned to Virgil again. “Like that! They don’t even have to be serious. Like, uh, you could name her Madam Fluffywuffykins the Great!”
“Do not name her that,” Logan said, scrunching up his nose.
 Logan sat on the ground, the cat eyeing him, but no longer hissing. Logan gently guided them towards more sensible names despite Patton trying his hardest to drag them into stupidity.
Virgil still didn’t quite get it. He mostly tried to name it after foodstuff, and often not even appropriate foodstuff such as “Corn” and “Acorn Squash” and “Sandwich” and occasionally would drop in semi violent ones such as “Razor,” “Nightshade” and “Void.” Patton suggested names like “Fluffers,” “Bobette” and “Darling” as well as some that were puns. Logan tried to direct them towards more sensible ones like “Salem” and even went so low as to suggest the contrary “Snowball.”
 It quickly seemed to become less about actually naming the cat and more of a game. Patton had taught Virgil about playing with cats and had even gotten out a ball of yarn he cared around for his crafts. Both Virgil and the cat seemed to find endless entertainment with that. Logan hoped Patton had another ball of yarn that color because, he was never going to get that ball back.
The barrage of names fizzled out into naming things around them like “Leaf” and “Bush” until they stopped suggesting names altogether. Patton and Logan sat back and watched Virgil play with the cat.
 Logan watched as they stopped playing suddenly and Virgil and the cat squinted at each other. “Marisol,” Virgil said, pulling the name out of nowhere. “That’s her name.” He said it with a certainty that was surprising considering how he’d treated the naming process with confusion and caution earlier. If Logan did not know better, his tone of voice would indicate that the cat, or Marisol he guessed, had gotten bored of them coming up with stupid names and decided to tell him her actual name herself.
The cat made a sound and batted at Virgil’s face without claws to grab back his attention.
 He turned back to it and bopped its face with a finger in kind. It attacked his finger, but in a clearly playful matter as it still did not extend it’s claws and its teeth did not draw blood.
“That’s a great name, Virgil,” Patton said.
“Much more pleasant than any that Patton suggested all afternoon,” Logan said. He received an elbow to the side for his quip.
“A pretty name for a pretty kitty,” Patton said, scooting over to where Virgil was sat and attempting to pet Marisol’s head. Marisol, however, was too keyed up and batted at the hand.
 “I love you too!” Patton said.
Logan rolled his eyes, but he had long since resigned himself to watching the two of them play with and coo over the cat for the rest of the day.
Eventually, though, it started to get darker. Even after Logan pointed this out, it still took over an hour for them to relent and leave the bush maze to go to the door. The problem was of course, that the cat had managed to grow very attached to Virgil in the last few hours and she followed them all the way to the door with manipulatively heart breaking mews.
 “You’ve got to stay out here,” Virgil said, when they got to the castle door. He pet her ear softly and she shoved her head into his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t have anywhere to put you.” He sounded horribly sad about that fact and Logan felt himself shift uncomfortably. “I basically live in a closet and Logan doesn’t like cats in his room anyway.”
Logan immediately felt unreasonably guilty, probably more so because Logan did not think Virgil was trying to make him feel guilty. “…Bring the dammed thing inside.”
Virgil blinked up at him. “What?”
“It will get cold soon anyway,” Logan said.
He frowned at Logan from where he was crouched. “But you don’t like fur in your room…”
“I will have to find a potion that works,” he said with a sigh, “and we’ll have to say it’s mine to the guards and Father since it will be staying in my room, but it is yours in every other way. That means you are going to feed it, clean it, and clean up after it.”
Virgil nodded immediately and swooped Marisol up in his arms. The cat went without complaint. “Thank you!” he said. “I love her.”
“I know you do,” Logan said, already regretting it already. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to even consider recanting the offer considering how happy Virgil seemed to be. They had a cat now, he guessed.
  Chapter 32
“What are you doing?” Helen asked a few minutes after her son walked into the kitchen and started looking around as though he were trying to find something. It was a few hours into the afternoon, and she and a few workers were already prepping for dinner.
“Uh,” Patton said. “Have you seen Virgil?”
“No,” Helen said. “Why.”
“Er… Logan and I sorta, lost him,” Patton said. He was wringing his hands anxiously. Helen put down the knife in her hand.
“What do you mean you lost him?” she asked.
“Well, see, we were trying to teach him how to play hide and seek, um, but then we didn’t think to tell him that he eventually had to come out if we didn’t find him, and now we haven’t seen him since breakfast.”
 “He didn’t know what tag is?” she asked. That was just one more thing to add to the list of why Helen worried about Virgil and where he came from. Every morsel of information she’d managed to wring from Patton despite his evasions made her lists of concerns grow larger, even little things like him not knowing about simple childhood games. Actually, thinking of concerning things having to do with Virgil. “Wait, so he hasn’t eaten lunch.”
“Um, we don’t know that,” Patton’s mouth said while his eyes said ‘no.’
“He needs to be on a consistent diet, especially when he’s still taking the malnutrition potion,” she scolded.
 “I know, Mama, I know,” Patton said. “I’m trying to find him. I’d kinda hoped he’d gotten hungry and snuck down here. He probably wouldn’t want to risk being caught stealing food though.”
Helen grimaced. Yet another concerning thing.
“Wait! I have an idea, I’ll be right back.” Patton turned and ran out of the room. Helen frowned at the space he’d been and finished chopping the carrot on the cutting board in front of her. If it had been any other person in the castle missing, Helen wouldn’t have worried, but she had literally never seen Virgil without Patton and/or Logan by his side. Even when he’d gone to help Jeff can some fruit, Logan had reportedly hung around to read a book.
 Considering that Logan had never exactly been clingy even with Patton, she imagined that either Virgil asked, or Logan thought he should stay with him for his comfort. So, she was surprised that he was apparently hidden away somewhere in the castle where neither of the other kids could find him.
Still thinking about this, she walked over to the entrance to the cellar below the kitchen where they stored most of the vegetables, planning to grab some more carrots. She was confused for a moment when she heard movement from deeper in the pantry. She reached over and touched the panel near the door that controlled the magic lights.
 The newly illuminated figure startled as the lights came on, whipping around to stare at her with wide eyes.
“Virgil?” she asked.
“Sorry,” he said immediately, taking a step back.
“It’s fine,” she said immediately, “but what are you doing here?”
He considered her for a long moment, but apparently, she passed some sort of mental test, because he relaxed, at least as much as he’d ever relaxed in her presence. “Where are we?” he asked.
Her brow knit together. “The cellar under the kitchen,” she said, “You don’t know that?”
He shook his head.
“The only entrance is from the kitchen.” Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him go through the kitchen at any point.
 “No, it’s not,” Virgil said. “There’s a tunnel.”
“A-a tunnel?” she asked. Actually, taking a closer look at him, he seemed a bit grimy. He had dust all over his front and dirt on his nose. She thought he might even have a couple of cobwebs in his hair.
“Yep,” he said.
“Where’s the tunnel?” she asked.
“It’s right over here,” he said. He took a couple of steps and pointed to the ground. There was an open square hole there that clearly had been made a long time ago but which she had never noticed in all of her time working here.
 “How did you find this?” she asked.
“We were playing hide and seek,” Virgil explained. “Logan said I could hide anywhere inside the castle. I hid on top of a dresser upstairs in some unused sitting room. There was a hole in the wall above it, so I climbed into it. Then, I crawled a little bit and it let out into a hidden passage in the walls. I wandered around in it until I found another hole in one of the walls. I thought it was a way out, so I squeezed into it, but it took me to a different hallway where I found an old room. There was a different hole in that room that had probably been covered by something because it was in the floor but whatever it was had rotted away. I crawled though it into a tunnel and came out here.”
 She couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his explanation. “Well, it sounds like you went on an adventure,” she said, “but Patton and Logan have been trying to find you. You missed lunch.”
He tilted his head at her. “I know. I was supposed to hide.”
“Yes,” she explained, “but you are supposed to come out at some point if they can’t find you for things like food.”
“Oh,” he said.
“They probably should have explained,” she said. “For now, why don’t we get you something to eat? You must be hungry.”
Virgil frowned. “But I missed lunch.”
“You can still eat even though it’s not in normal hours,” she said. “You could even if you had made it to lunch.”
 “Really?” he asked, he looked tragically confused by this offer.
“Of course, sweetie,” she said. “In fact, I insist you get something good to eat right now. How about I made you a grilled ham and cheese sandwich? Maybe some cookies too!”
Virgil titled his head. “You are Patton’s mother,” he stated.
Helen laughed softly. “He gets its all from me,” she said. “We should probably go find him and tell him you’re okay. He was worried.”
“I didn’t mean to worry him,” Virgil said with a frown.
“I know,” Helen said. “It’s okay. He’ll probably laugh when he figures out where you’ve been, and Logan will interrogate you all about the secret passageways.” He seemed happy about the prospect of seeing his friends. “Come on, let’s go upstairs for a bit,” she said.
  Chapter 33
Patton’s mom had already made Virgil sit down at the small table in the corner of the kitchen and had handed him a sandwich by the time Patton barreled into the kitchen, Logan coming after him at a more sedate pace.
“Virgil!” he said, sounding surprised and relieved.
“Patton,” Patton’s mom scolded. “No cats in the kitchen.” Patton had brought Marisol in with him and had let her go as soon as he’d seen Virgil. She immediately plodded over to him and hoped onto the table to sniff at his face in greeting.
“But she’s the princess!” Patton argued.
“No,” Logan said.
 “Yes, she is!” Patton said.
“The stupid cat is not a princess.”
“Don’t be mean to your little sister, Logan.”
“I regret every life decision that has led me to this point.”
While Logan and Patton were distracted squabbling and Patton’s mom was distracted watching them squabble, Virgil tore off a bit of the ham in his sandwich and offered it to Marisol. Marisol gracefully took it from his grip and ate it.
“So, this is Logan’s new cat I’ve been hearing about?” Patton’s mom asked.
“Indeed,” Logan said, his lips thinned. He and Marisol were mostly amicable when alone with just them and Virgil, but Patton had a habit of cooing over the kitten and needling Logan into being irritated.
 “Mmm, yeah,” Patton’s mom said. She glanced over at Virgil right as Marisol basically slammed her face into his chin in a bid to get pets. “Your cat.” She shook her head. “But Princess Kitten or not, I do not want fur in dinner,” she said.
“Sorry,” Patton said, honestly not sounding sorry at all. Virgil was always a bit surprised when the insolent shrug garnered nothing more that a scowl that did not reach Patton’s mom’s eyes. “I thought she could help me find Virgil, but you already found him.” He turned to Virgil. “Where have you been all day?”
 “Found a tunnel,” Virgil said. He had to use one hand to hold Marisol back from his sandwich as he took another bite, but then gave her a bite of cheese.
“You found what?” Logan asked.
“There’s a tunnel under the cellar,” Virgil said. “It goes to an old closed up room and also to a set of secret passageways.” It was a bit of a security risk honestly, though clearly no one had used it in years by how dirty it was. He did plan to go back into it and make sure the sprawling tunnels didn’t go to anywhere more dangerous like the royal wing.
 “A closed-up room?” Logan said. He could see a bit of curiosity already building in his eyes.
“Yeah,” Virgil said. “Where the door used to be seemed like it had been bricked over.”
“Really? Can you show me.”
“Sure,” Virgil answered.
“Ah, perhaps we should be a bit more cautious about climbing through random tunnels we don’t know the stability of,” Patton’s mom said.
Logan’s frown edged on a pout.
“Talk to your father,” she said. “I’m sure he can get someone who understands these things so you can safely investigate.”
“It was safe enough for Virgil,” Logan pointed out.
 “No, Logan.”
He sighed but seemed to concede. That was another strange thing about living here. By all rights Logan didn’t have to obey anyone except the king, but he often listened to those around him, not just the adults but Patton as well. It was interesting though it sometimes made the hierarchy hard to figure out. Virgil did sometimes stress out about the hypothetical situation where he got conflicting orders from two people, and he wouldn’t know which one to obey. So far it hadn’t been a problem luckily. They always seemed to work it out amongst themselves in some give and take social interaction that was a bit too complex for him to understand.
 Patton walked over to where Virgil was sitting. “I’m glad your safe,” he said. “We should probably put a time limit on hide and seek in the future, so you know when to come out.”
“Did I win?” Virgil asked. He’d honestly forgotten they’d been playing a game until Patton’s mom had asked how he’d found his way into the cellar.
Patton laughed. “I’d say so, yeah,” he replied. He leaned over to kiss Virgil’s forehead, but drew back immediately with a pinched expression. “You are… very dirty,” he said, rubbing his mouth.
Virgil nodded. “Your mom made me sit on a tablecloth,” he said gesturing to the fabric she’d laid over the chair.
 Patton snorted out a laugh. “We’ll get you into the bath when you’re done eating and you can tell us all about your little adventure.”
“I would also like to hear about your discoveries,” Logan said. “Though you are not allowed to sit on the bed until you do not have spider webs in your hair.”
Patton’s eyes widened and he jumped away from Virgil, startling both Virgil and Marisol. The latter hopped from the table onto Virgil’s lap. “Spiders?!”
Virgil tilted his head at him in confusion.
“He isn’t a fan of spiders,” Logan informed him, his voice amused at Patton’s reaction.
 Apparently deciding that she was no longer startled, but more confused by the noises Patton had just made, Marisol jumped out of Virgil’s lap to investigate, wrapping her way around Patton’s legs. He bent down to pat her back, though he still looked a bit startled.
“Your cat, huh?” Patton’s mom asked Logan once again. Virgil studied her. She had apparently missed Logan mentioning that he allowed Virgil on the bed. Or perhaps Logan was correct in his insistence that it wasn’t actually that big of a deal here. Virgil would rather not test that assumption, however, so was glad that it had been distracted from by Patton’s outburst.
 “Creepy, crawly death dealers,” Patton mumbled into Marisol’s fur, having picked her back up. Virgil made a note to not inform Patton of all of the different types of spiders he’d seen skittering around in the castle walls today. Maybe he’d talk about them with Logan once Patton left. He’d probably be interested. Virgil had seen some he’d never seen before! Logan probably could even help him figure out what their names were. “You’ll protect me, won’t you kitty?” Patton asked Marisol.
She made a little ‘burrrr’ sound in response, which Patton seemed to take a confirmation.
“Aw thank you, baby! Such a good baby.”
50234
Virgil popped the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. Patton’s mom turned away and grabbed a plate stacked with cookies. She handed it to Logan. “Take these, and please get the health hazards out of my kitchen,” she requested.
Logan took them without complaint. “Come on, Virgil,” he said. “Let’s go get you clean.”
“We’re going to need so much soap,” Patton said.
Virgil looked down at himself. “I can go outside and get most of it off if you get me a bucket of water,” he offered.
“Virgil, it’s below freezing,” Logan said as though that had a baring on what he’d just said. Logan sighed. “No. Bathtub.” Virgil shrugged. “Honestly,” Logan said. He turned with the plate of cookies in his hand, clearly expecting to be followed. “You’re not going to catch your death pouring a bucket of water over yourself in the cold when there are literally over a hundred perfectly good bathtubs in this castle. For goodness sakes.” And well, Virgil wasn’t going to complain.
  Chapter 34
Patton, to be completely honest, was not all that interested in the room that Virgil had found. Beyond just the fact that it would definitely have creepy crawly death dealers in it, he really did not understand the intrigue. If it had just been him, he probably would have just let a castle worker deal with it, but it was not just him. Logan was ecstatic with the prospect of investigating a secret in the castle. People who didn’t know him well may not believe it considering he spent most of his time with his nose in a book, but he was an adventurer at heart.
 Thomas had been easily swayed into finding someone to help tear down part of the wall into the secret tunnel near the room (so no one would have to crawl through the kitchen cellar like Virgil). It had taken a few days, however, and Logan was practically bouncing off the walls waiting. Virgil, despite having already seen the room before, also seemed excited, though if that was because of his own curiosity or because he was just excited that Logan seemed so exited remained to be seen.
“They are silly, aren’t they,” Patton asked Princess Marisol. He was laying on his stomach on Logan’s bed and Princess Marisol had just put her little paw on his nose.
 “Yes, I agree,” he said. “Don’t they know that we’re literally going to be 2 feet away from the normal hallway?”
“It is not silly,” Logan defended himself. “Any number of things could go wrong.” He sounded far too excited about the prospect of something going terribly wrong. “The tunnels could cave in and block off the exit or there could be some unknown pathogen in the air.”
Patton did not ruin his fun by mentioning that Logan’s dad had definitely basically baby proofed the tunnels for them ahead of time. Instead, he just said, “Don’t let Virgil hear you say that sort of thing. It will just stress him out.”
 “Yes, yes, of course,” he said, waving off Patton’s concerns as he mulled over two different weird green planty things (potion ingredients, Patton assumed) before setting one aside and sticking the other in his bag.
“So silly,” Patton cooed at the cat. Logan let out a huff but did not choose to say anything about it this time.
Speaking of silly, Virgil came back from Logan’s bathroom then, and Patton tried not to giggle. “Is this right?” Virgil asked, sounding and looking confused. Logan, in his overexcitement about adventure had commissioned Virgil an outfit that actually fit. Said outfit, however, very much made it look more like Virgil was going on a safari instead of a two-foot detour from the normal castle hallway.
 “Almost,” Logan said, “Here, let me.” Logan started straightening everything out and flattening the collar, reminding Patton of an overbearing parent on picture day. Virgil accepted the fussing without protest. It was adorable. Well, the outfit was ridiculous, but still, adorable. “There,” Logan said. “I think we’re ready to go now.”
It was about time. Patton was sure people were already waiting for them downstairs. Patton got up and patted Princess Marisol on the head. She looked up at them with interest.
“You can stay here, sweetie,” Patton told here. She seemed to consider it and then hopped down from the bed to go rub up against Virgil.
 Patton guessed she was coming. It didn’t matter too much since Logan had given her a magical collar that allowed her to open most doors in the castle and everyone knew she was the royal cat now, so if she decided she wanted to come back to the room and nap, she could. (She was very aware of the power she held.)
She pranced happily by Virgil’s side all the way down the steps to the first floor of the castle. She was such a good kitty.
Well, she did hiss angrily at everyone who came too close to them, but still, a very good kitty.
 Patton did lean down and pick her up so they could actually talk to the man waiting for them at the large hole in the wall. Logan went to talk to the castle worker while Virgil half hid behind Patton. He was clearly listening very intently to the conversation however, at least more intently than Patton was. Patton was busy shaking his head fondly.
“Yes, yes, Princess,” he said to the cat. “I know we do not trust the strangers, but I promise this stranger is perfectly safe.”
“How do you know?” Virgil asked.
“His name is Chester and I’ve known him since I was 9.”
 This seemed to slightly alleviate Virgil’s suspicion, but Princess Marisol still seemed antsy. Patton really needed to start slowly introducing the both of them to more people.
Logan finished talking with Chester after a few moments and it was time to climb through the hole in the wall. He wished he saw in the tunnel whatever Logan with his excited eyes and bounce to his step obviously saw. Or even that was more comfortable in the dark closed in space as Virgil obviously was. As it was, Patton’s nose scrunched up at the thought off all of the spiders that could be living everywhere in the secret tunnel, but he pushed through.
 The entrance to the tunnel had been made only a little bit from the room Virgil had mentioned and Chester had led them through it after only a couple of seconds. As Patton had suspected, the room was already lit up and probably cleaned a little bit by the people who had cut into the wall, not that he was complaining.
Virgil was still clinging a bit to Patton’s shirt, though it seemed to be less out of anxiety at this point and more out of a desire to stick close. He was peering around curiously at the lit-up space. He probably hadn’t seen much of it in the dark when he’d been here before.
 Yet, his curiosity was nothing compared to how excited Logan seemed to be. Now Patton may have not been interested in the room itself, but he was entertained by how interested Logan was and was happy to encourage that.
“What do you think this place is?” he asked Logan.
Logan hummed contemplatively, eyes looking around. “Well,” he said. “It’s a bedroom clearly, and old. Considering the location it is in in the castle, the size, the decorations, and it’s likely age, I’d imagine it was a bedroom of a royal family member. This used to be the royal wing three royal lines ago.”
 “Bearing that in mind, there are a couple of likely possibilities for the origin of the room as well as the reason it was sealed up, but we will need to investigate more in order to come to an actual conclusion.” He had already placed the bag he’d brought on the ground and was going through it, pulling out things that Patton did not recognize. He also got a piece of paper and sat on the floor to start to sketch.
“What are you doing?” Virgil asked.
“I’m sketching the floorplan of the room,” Logan said. “I will then put a grid on it so we can investigate while being sure that we aren’t missing anything.”
 Virgil seemed uninterested in this part of the adventure, instead electing to go poking around by himself. Princess Marisol squirmed out of Patton’s arms to go follow him. Patton swore that he only looked away from those two for 5 seconds, but the next thing he knew he heard metal clicking against metal.
“Oh,” Patton said, eyes wide when he saw what Virgil was fiddling with. “Honey, you probably shouldn’t touch…”
The old but fancy looking chest that had been at the end of the remains of the bed creaked open. Virgil sneezed as a cloud of dust puffed out of it. “Huh,” he said studying the contents. “There’s a skull in here.”
 “Oh, I don’t like this adventure anymore,” Patton commented.
Logan was on his feet within moments. “Let me see,” he said eagerly.
“What if it’s cursed?” Patton pointed out.
“Then I’ll just break the curse,” Logan waved him off. “Oh, it’s just a horse skull,” Logan said, sounding disappointed. “And also what seemed to be potion ingredients. Though they seem very fresh considering the state of the room.”
“Maybe we should get someone else to…”
Logan already had both arms inside the chest and was pulling things out of it. “This chest must have some sort of stasis effect to it.”
 He started pulling things out to look at them before setting them on the floor with no caution. “Well,” he said, “that answers the question of what this room is.”
“It does?” Patton asked.
“Ah, yes, between the horse skull and the potion ingredients, this is obviously the bedroom of Princess Marianne Elicia. She was the third child of King Simon IV and was quite the fan of horses.”
“…So she kept a horse skull in a stasis chest in her bedroom?” Patton asked.
“Of course,” Logan said. “Back when her family was in power, magic was outlawed and had quite the stigma against it, but she ended up learning magic and become quite proficient.”
 “It’s debated what exactly happened when her father found out about her activities. Some sources say that she was executed silently by her father, but others say she managed to escape with the head of the stables but not before putting a curse on the country of Prijaznia. That is until she or one of her bloodline sits on the throne, every royal line will end in madness and blood by the 5th seated monarch before an heir is born.”
“Isn’t that something you should be worried about?” Virgil asked.
Logan shrugged. “It’s just a myth,” he said. “Besides I’m 6th in the line, so there really isn’t any concern.”
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“There are a lot of interesting things in here,” Logan said, still focused on the chest. “Not to mention the books. We’ll have to be careful with those though since they don’t appear to be in stasis.”
Logan pulled the horse skull out and set it on the floor making Patton wince.
“Marisol no!” he said as Princess Marisol immediately went to go sniff at it. He swooped her up in his arms. “How long are we staying in this creepy room?” Patton asked.
“Patton, we just got here,” Logan said.
“We just got here and already found a skull!”
“Yes! Exactly!”
Patton groaned into Princess Marisol’s fur even as she tried wiggle away to go back and investigate the skull. This was going to be a long day.
  Chapter 35
Logan was surprised when he woke up alone in bed. He’d grown to anticipate waking to a smaller body unrelentingly clinging to his in the past couple of weeks. Confused he sat up and peered around his bedroom. He wouldn’t have seen Virgil with the way he melted into the darkness if it he hadn’t heard the sound of purring coming from near the window. He could just barely make out a dark blob shifting up and down at the cat kneaded at a different blob sitting mostly hidden behind the thick curtain.
“Virgil?” Logan questioned. “What are you doing?”
 “It’s snowing,” was the answer.
“That is not an answer,” Logan grumbled at the ceiling. With a sigh, he pulled himself out of bed. It was a bit chilly in here, he thought. The temperature must have dipped suddenly and intensely enough that the runes keeping the castle at a warm enough temperature hadn’t caught up yet. He pulled one of the blankets off of the top of his bed to wrap around his shoulders as he approached the window. There wasn’t much light outside, the stars and moon covered by clouds, but there were some lanterns lit for the night guard who patrolled the outside. “Oh,” he said in surprise. “It’s really snowing.”
 It had been colder but not quite cold enough for snow to stick the day before, so it came as a surprise when he saw snow was piling up quite high to the point where familiar paths outside his window had disappeared.
“I don’t like it,” Virgil informed him.
“Why not?” Logan asked.
“It’s cold,” Virgil answered. It was clear in his tone that in Virgil’s opinion ‘cold’ was a horrible insult to the concept of snow. Logan quirked a half smile and his attention was drawn to the fact that it was quite cold right here close to the window.
 Frowning, he pulled at the blanket around his shoulder so he could wrap it and his arm around the lump that was Virgil. He brushed the boy’s hand when he did so and found it was like ice.
“You’re freezing!” Logan said. “How long have you been by the window?”
“I dunno,” he replied.
Logan was already tugging at him. “You need to get back in bed,” he said.
Virgil obeyed the pulling at his arms even as he frowned. “I’ve been colder than this before,” he said.
“That actually doesn’t make me feel better,” Logan replied dryly as he shooed him towards the bed.
 He took the thicker blanket that usually stayed folded at the end of the bed and pulled it up over Virgil before climbing into bed beside him.
“There,” Logan said, rubbing Virgil’s arms through the fabric of the sweater he wore to bed. He was glad he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt at least. “The runes for heating the castle should catch up within a few hours, but until then this should do. Assuming we don’t sit by the freezing window for an undetermined amount of time.”
“I don’t like the cold,” Virgil told him.
Logan sighed. “Then why did you sit by the window?”
 Virgil shrugged and ducked his head a bit. Logan reached out to grab his hands to help him warm more but was surprised when one of the hands was much warmer than the other. He found his fingers were clutching a crescent shaped stone: the protection charm they’d made. Logan knew that he kept it in his pocket most of the time, but he didn’t normally see him holding it like this. It was warm to the touch, of course, indicating the safety of the room around them.
Logan looked over his face. “Are you…” he said. “Scared of the snow?”
 “I don’t like the cold,” he said once again.
“You’re scared of the winter,” Logan concluded. He looked at Virgil who was far too small for his age and seemed surprised at every casual act of kindness. It was clear that his basic needs were far from being met before he came here. Logan had to wonder what winter usually meant for him. His experiences were doubtlessly very different from Logan’s own. “That makes sense,” he acknowledged, “but you don’t need to be scared of it here. The castle is always perfectly warm and safe in the winter and Mr. Deknis and Ms. Heart work hard during the other seasons to make sure we have plenty of food. There is nothing to fear here.”
 He did not seem convinced.
“You don’t even have to go outside if you don’t want to,” Logan promised. “The castle is plenty big if you’d like to stay inside all winter long. It was made for the winter even without the magic devices that keep it warm. We have fireplaces and well insulated rooms even if those that ends up failing.” Logan pulled open the hand that had the protection charm just to transfer it to his other hand to warm it. “Though, while no one would force you to go outside, the snow isn’t always bad.”
“Yes it is,” Virgil said, his voice sure.
 “Not all the time,” Logan insisted. “Some people love the snow.”
“They’re stupid.”
Logan laughed. “It can be fun for a while with the right equipment if you have someplace to get warm again afterwards. Royal duties slow down during the winter and Patton tends to come up with all sorts of games for both the inside and the outside to pass the time. He’s particularly proficient at snowball fights, at least against me.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Play fighting,” Logan answered. “Like pillow fights, but snow.”
“I’ll stick with the pillows,” he replied.
“And then there’s a hill to sled down on the western side of the castle, and people like to build snowmen along the path.”
“What are snowmen?” Virgil asked.
 They’re temporary statues made out of packed snow,” Logan explained. “Typically, they’re made of three different sized balls of snow: the largest being the base and the smallest the ‘head’ though there are some variations. After building them one typically decorates them with different articles of clothing and objects found lying around. It’s usually sticks and rocks for the face and then things like extra hats and scarfs for decoration.” He smiled softly. “When my Pa was alive, we used to steal my Dad’s crown and fanciest robes. Sometimes Pa would steal it right off of Dad’s head and we’d run away. We’d find a secluded area of the castle yards and build the biggest snowman we could as quickly as we could before we got caught. He’d usually end up letting us keep the robes, but we’d have to give the crown back since some of the metals in it would rust when wet.”
 “That sounds…” Virgil’s nose twitched. “fun if you take away the touching snow part.”
Logan laughed. “It is fun,” he said. “Even with the touching snow part. Though, I admit that some of the ability for it to be entertaining does come from the fact that we could warm up afterwards with ease. You’ll enjoy Patton’s mother’s constant offering of hot chocolate during the season even if you never go outside, I’m sure.”
“Hot chocolate?” Virgil asked intrigued. His dark eyes shone brightly in the little light coming through the window. It was clear he could guess something about the drink just by the name and enjoyed the implications.
 Logan smiled fondly. “It is a hot drink,” he explained. “It’s a warm drink made out of milk and chocolate. I can get you some to try in the morning.”
Virgil nodded, eyes still wide with interest.
“For now, we should sleep though,” Logan said. “Are you warm enough? I can get more blankets.”
“I’m fine,” he said.
“Good,” Logan said, reaching up and adjusting the blanket over them once more, tucking it around Virgil a little bit for good measure. “Goodnight Virgil,” he said.
“Goodnight,” he replied softly. Logan reached under the blankets to grab the hand that was still slightly chilly from the window between his own. Virgil’s eyes slipped closed after a moment as he nuzzle his face into the pillow. At some point they both drifted off to sleep.
  Chapter 36
Thomas had already been well aware that winter was on the way, but he and the rest of the castle occupants had been surprised at how intensely and suddenly it had come on. Most things were ready for the winter, but not all of them had been initiated. The fireplaces that took some pressure off the castle heating runes were cleaned out and ready, but they hadn’t been started yet. The stables for different animals on the grounds had been checked over and staff assignments had been made, but most were still in far out fields. Staff that went home for the winter months had been dismissed, but there were a few stragglers that would have to be helped home before things got worse.
 He’d gone out to the main stable to talk to the three workers that were the heads of different areas of animal husbandry to make sure a plan to get everything to where it needed to be soon was in place. It took a while to figure out considering that they’d expected a little more time before the first major snowfall. Thomas also asked them to make sure all of the workers’ homes were in good enough condition for the weather. Ranch hands typically had homes on castle grounds but not in the castle themselves since they needed to be close to the animals. Thomas knew at least half a dozen of those who spent most of their times out in the fields were the type to forgot to maintain their homes because they preferred camping amongst the animals in the summer months and then would be in for a bad time when snow began to fall.
 There should be enough extra rooms in the castle if they needed a place to stay until repairs could be done.
Those conversations took a good couple of hours, before Thomas was satisfied. Before trudging back to the castle through the still falling snow, he made a point to stop at one specific horse stall in the main stable. The horse turned his head to see Thomas when he stopped in front of his stall and puffed out a rather disaffected snort before sticking his head over the gate so Thomas could pat his nose. “Hello, Mr. Apples,” Thomas said.
 The horse seemed to conclude he’d tolerated Thomas’s petting enough and ducked his head to nudge at his torso. Thomas rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes,” he said. “I brought you an apple. Some things never change.” He reached into his pocket to grab the red apple he’d brought the white Arabian. “At least you don’t bite me anymore.” He paused, apple slice in hand and eyed the horse’s nose suspiciously. “Do not bite me,” he said even though he hadn’t felt the animal’s teeth in a decade. It would be just like Mr. Apples to wait until his guard was down.
 After a bit of scrutiny, he offered an apple slice. It was snatched out of his hand and there was a loud crunch as it was bit into.
“It’s snowing out,” he told the horse. The horse seemed to roll his eyes at the statement of the obvious. “I’ll remind again that if you run out in a snowstorm, I’m not running after you, so you’d be out of luck.”
Mr. Apples snorted.
“You’re old now. You’d probably not survive long enough for people to find you. Besides, you blend in with that white fur of yours. They’d probably walk right past you a few times.”
 He went back to nosing for treats as soon as he finished his first and Thomas sighed, pulling out another apple slice. “What are they not feeding you enough?” The gusto with which the horse snatched the apple slice was a very clear answer. “Well, we both know that’s not true.” Thomas fed the horse a third slice of apple when he was done with his second. “I have to get back to the castle now. Don’t be a devil horse.”
Mr. Apples threw his head a bit, splattering apple smelling foamy spittle all over Thomas’s front.
“Understood. Have a nice afternoon.”
 He left Mr. Apples in his stall then, knowing he’d be well cared for no matter how ill-tempered he could be at times. He’d been a king’s horse once, after all, no matter that said king had been dead for more than a decade now.
Winters were hard.
Winters were the times when things always slowed down at the castle, where royal duties were often thin. There were a lot of memories in winter.
The trip back to the castle was not particularly long, but it was also not particularly pleasant. The snow had not been cleared away considering it was still snowing which meant his feet and legs were wet and cold by the time he made it to the nearest castle door.
 He wasn’t sure if, when he entered, the castle heating runes had started to work in earnest or if he’d just been so cold that any measure of warmth was appreciated, but he was relieved to be out of the snow either way.
He decided to check up on the progress of the castle staff lighting the fireplaces. With any luck, they’d be lit already, and he could warm up even more. That in mind, he headed towards the main foyer where the largest fireplace in the castle sat to take off the chill brought in by the large front doors.
 The main foyer was bustling with activity when he snuck in along the sides, giving the guards stationed around nods as he passed. The main fire in the room was burning brightly, though only one of the two smaller ones near the side exits from the room was lit. The other one was still being set up with safety mechanisms. It was good progress and assuming other areas of the castle were being set up as efficiently, he assumed they’d all be set up by nightfall.
He’d need to go check around to be sure, but for now, he walked up to the main fireplace to warm his hands.
 He’d gotten into the habit when he was younger to every so often glance upwards. There had been a certain stable boy who had a propensity for climbing trees. These days, he usually found nothing when he did so, often not even consciously noticing that he’d turned his gaze momentarily skywards. Yet, today, he was startled out of his own idleness by dark brown eyes looking back at him from a small ledge in the shadows high above him.
He froze as he met the young boy’s gaze. Virgil seemed as surprised to be caught as Thomas was to have caught him.
 Slowly Thomas raised one hand and waved to the boy. He slunk back into the shadows at the acknowledgment. If Thomas peered hard enough, he could see a shadow stretch up towards the third-floor balcony in the darkness and disappear over the railing.
Interesting boy.
Thomas found himself smiling despite the oddity. They still had not found out much about Virgil. He would speak to Jeffers about many things apparently, but often could not be redirected to invasive topics and he was still a bit skittish around Helen. He hadn’t willingly existed in a room with Thomas. Thomas hoped that changed at some point. There was something about him that made Thomas like him.
  Chapter 37
Virgil had not spent a lot of time out of Logan’s room. What little time he had spent outside of it was either with Patton and/or Logan or tucked away in secret corridors he found in the walls where no one would stumble upon him. Yet, here he was willingly in a, well, not public by any means place, but one that was still more exposed than he was used to being in. Somehow, he was managing to not care at all.
It was helped by the fact that both Logan and Patton had been in the room at the start, but they had gone off to go… somewhere. Food sounded like it might have been the reason.
 He liked food, and usually he would have been all for going to get some, but between them promising to bring him back some and the fact that he was never going to move ever again, he’d decided to stay.
Princess Marisol seemed to be the only other rational being in the whole castle because she had also not moved since discovering the contents of this room. She was currently laying on his chest purring happily.
The fireplace was a wonderful invention. Now, Virgil had, of course, warmed up by a fire before when it was cold, but this was much different. There was a grate that blocked off the fire a bit keeping it from burning the person in front of it and there was a plush rug right by it, perfect for laying down on. Someone had known what they were doing when designing this room.
 He didn’t even care that the king had access to this sitting room as well as Logan.
Okay, so he did care a little bit, but he was ignoring that. He was probably busy this time of day anyway, right?
He really didn’t want to run into him after being caught watching the castle workers set up the bigger fireplaces. Kings probably didn’t like people sneaking around watching things from the shadows even when they didn’t know that the person sneaking around was literally sent to kill them.
Princess Marisol must have had a sixth sense for his anxieties (or he’d just started breathing faster and disturbed her) because she stirred a bit.
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may-day-voice · 3 years
Text
Prom Night Lights - The Beginning
Katsuki Bakugou Timeline | 172732014
please do not repost, but you have permission to reblog :)
• Watch/ Listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8SB9fJZ5a7s
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It was supposed to be a simple day. A simple, normal day filled with anticipation and excitement. The day when you stepped into the real world outside from the safety net. But you never prepared for what was to come, for the hurt that would inflict, for the dark to overshadow.
You weren’t prepared for your heart to break.
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You grabbed hold of hands that grasped onto your fingers, hanging upside down in the air while maneuvering yourself a safe distance from the crash site. Out on patrol with fellow interns turned into a rescue mission when a massive traffic incident occurred in one of the most populous intersections in Musatafu. Cars and trucks were mangled or destroyed, billowing smoke into the air while emergency personnel made headway in tending to the wounded.
Meanwhile you floated towards the borders of the intersection, carefully dropping a casualty towards medics on the scene. Your hands were covered in blood and soot, having to pull those who were trapped within the metallic wreckage.
“That’s number three,” you called, still dangling aimlessly in the air.
“Impulse! We need help here!” Called a fellow intern from amongst the crash site.
With a click of your ankles, you landed onto the ground to push yourself back into the air, soaring towards your teammate above the fire and smoke. His large hands lifted part of a car, revealing a young woman in the crash, her eyes searching above while she breathed erratically.
“Don’t know how long I can hold this up,” warned your teammate, his usual stoic gaze now concentrating on keeping the mangled car lifted for access to the woman below.
“Here, grab my hand,” you ordered, floating slowly into the maw of the wreckage while reaching for the woman inside. The look in her eyes caught yours, finding the fear written all over them, terrified.
A slip of your teammate’s feet caused the car to creak, almost snapping onto you from above, your hands immediately pushing against the heavy wreck in reaction. Your eyes searched in his, concerned about the situation only to notice he found his footing again.
“I’m okay,” he reassured, holding the car back once more. “Go.”
You drew back to the woman, spotting her body recoil back inside in fear. With a deep breath, you slowly floated back in, hanging upside down with your hands outstretched towards her. “Come on, let’s get you out of here,” you coaxed, your open palm inviting her in.
Slowly, her shaking hand reached out, grabbing hold of yours. With both your hands securing her grip, you slowly floated out from the hole, taking the woman with you, her weight pulling at your arms before you spotted her feet clearing the maw.
“Let go now,” you called, watching your teammate finally relieve himself from the strain and the piece of metal crash into the wreckage that trapped a casualty.
Two hours. It took two hours to help clear casualties from the crash site. The aftermath left you and your teammates to be checked out by medics before being discharged from the incident, followed by your supervisor Kido back to the agency for a debriefing on today’s activities.
It felt like a quiet day, which was good for the most part. You scratched two hours of the day, plus another hour for debriefing and cleaning up. It allowed less strain on your body, and more focus on other events you had penciled in ever since-
“Man, you? A plus one? Lucky,” spat a classmate of yours inside the locker rooms. “I would kill to get past those gates.”
“You really don’t mean that,” you replied in jest.
“Oh no, I do. Truly, happily.”
“Have you figured out what you’re dressing in?” Spoke another, the same one who helped you on the rescue. “You should talk with him about that.”
“Coordination is key,” chirped the other.
“Guys, it’s a first time thing, okay?” You reassured. “They’re in the middle of graduating right now for all we know.”
“But to be invited to a prom of all things in UA? Whoever is the event coordinator is a genius.”
The vibrations of your phone caught your ear, spotting a text message appearing on your screen. A sneak peek of the message was the usual - an ETA for tonight. That was all. You noticed the messages were getting shorter and sharper with your beau. It has been over the past year. Still, being the final year in UA was probably a stressful time for students from across the board. You had felt the pressure yourself at your schooling.
“You think if I could catch Todoroki’s eye maybe-“
“Stopping you there,” interrupted one of your classmates, his drowsy aloof eye staring at the other. “He’s probably taken.”
“You don’t know that!”
“He talks about someone from his school very frequently. I think he’s taken.”
Another buzz from your phone caught your ear, checking the screen to spot a message from someone unexpected. Eijirou Kirishima’s name was emblazoned in the text box with a video attached. Watching your classmates bicker between themselves gave you the perfect opportunity for you to view this message without their attention, opening it to reveal the stage of the graduation. Perhaps this was very recent, considering the time of day it was before a familiar blond student walked up to the podium. You couldn’t hold back your smile, watching Katsuki Bakugou be congratulated on his graduation day, and turn irately towards the camera following Kirishima’s loud and rambunctious celebratory yell from the crowd.
“Did your beau send something juicy?” Chirped your classmate, turning to find a coy smile on her face.
“What? No!” You deflected, placing your phone away. “I gotta make tracks anyway.”
“You better take photos or it didn’t happen!”
You waved both of your teammates goodbye, hoisting your backpack onto your shoulders to add more weight to your less than convenient gravity. Stepping out of the agency, you tapped your toes before making your way towards the tall white gates of UA. Despite the lack of information you gave to your teammates back at the agency, you had already picked out your formal wear. You had planned to make a day of UA’s graduation for their students, knowing your own from your establishment was happening first thing tomorrow morning. The more time you could spend with the city’s foremost Pro-Hero candidates equaled sacrificing one night of preparation for your graduation, at least you convinced yourself as such.
Everything had been planned ahead of time, thanks to your beau’s meticulous need for timing. However, you had other plans ahead of his own, ones you had announced to him during his plans which, to your dismay and unsurprising predictability, did not please him. Reassurance wasn’t his strong point, and you’ve learnt it wasn’t yours as well. At least when trying to ease his passive aggressive tantrums.
Another buzz of your phone caught your attention again from those thoughts, picking it up to find a text message from Izuku Midoriya of all people.
Can’t wait to see you again! You’re on the way?
Actually, I’ll be another 20 minutes. How was the ceremony?
It was great! Everyone’s excited here at the dorms. I’ll be setting up Gym Gamma for tonight, so meet me there?
And Kaachan can’t wait either.
You chuckled at the words, wondering how Bakugou must be feeling after today. It made you wonder about the months leading up to today. In fact, it seemed a bit odd, watching him at the agency being almost cold and aloof, answering you in short and distancing himself half of the time. Again, UA was a prestigious academy. You thought the same way that the stress must be getting to the students.
Further fact, that short text felt like-
Yeah, I’ll meet you at Gym Gamma. Let Bakugou know I can’t wait either.
Lately it had been this way, communicating with other students rather than Bakugou himself these past months leading to the end of the school year. You’ve heard from Midoriya, Kirishima, even Denki Kaminari spoke to you a few texts here and there. Bakugou however had gone dark some of the time. You recalled a few times in your second year having constant late night calls with him, some of those nights being a saving grace when the both of you were too busy to just stop for a coffee or a shake. But nowadays, he had been-
Hey! You coming over soon? Kaminari is practically begging for a player two on his team.
I’ll be there. Just stopping by somewhere first. Maybe another 25?
You better hurry up. Bakugou’s practically wiping the floor with him in this game.
Well, another thing to slot in, but nothing that detracted from your original plans. With a smile, you continued on your walk to UA, hands on your straps while you felt the strain on your shoulders once more.
——
Soon, the familiar white gates appeared. As per usual, you stood by the entrance, waiting for some time before being verified to enter the grounds. It took a while for this process. At first, you were accompanied by your beau when he came along to invite you, or when he had to make it for Management classes. However, over the years, it became an infrequent visit with the Hero students. Lately though, it was between how quickly the guards could phone a friend. Even more so, it was less your beau, and more so one of the Hero students, whether it was Midoriya, Kirishima, or even Shouto Todoroki of all of them. It used to be Bakugou, but even he had been slow to answer.
After being granted entry, you immediately made your way to Gym Gamma, watching the large group of students prepare for the night. You had not seen so many fairy lights in your life while they were being strung up high across the pathways and into the auditorium. It was a mess, but it was organized chaos while you traversed between wandering students and piles of decorative materials for the festivities to follow.
“Midoriya!” You called from across the auditorium, spotting the green-haired boy ahead. His eyes turned towards you with a smile, lightly jogging his way through the auditorium.
“Hey, how are things?” He asked with a hug, his large arms engulfing you.
“Pretty good, we were in the middle of a rescue mission in the city,” you replied with a smile. “But that’s all the excitement today.”
“You’re not excited about tonight?”
“I mean, yeah, of course I am! Congratulations! Think I can collect my clothes?”
“Oh, right, I don’t have them on me because of everything happening right now, but they’re at Heights Alliance.”
“Then, why did you ask me to come here first?”
“I wanted to say hi.”
You chuckled at his reply, happy to see Midoriya well. There had been some controversy with all that happened throughout the years, things that you felt were considered taboo, however, stories came with time. You noticed the extra scars across his body, also recalling the scars Bakugou had received during Musatafu’s darker times. The worry that drowned you was immense, only subsiding after months of silence, and that one phone call from Todoroki surprisingly.
With a goodbye, you left Midoriya to his devices in the auditorium, leaving him behind for Heights Alliance. Eventually both shoulders felt sore from the weights in your backpack, deciding to only hang the bag from one shoulder and feeling your toes scraping the ground. According to the predetermined ETA, you had a few hours to spare. Still, it felt like you had very little time left until you stood before Class 3-A’s dorms. Midoriya had explained he left your formal wear with Bakugou, who by his description of the event, reluctantly agreed. With a heavy sigh, you made your way up the stairs, only to bump into somebody walking out from the dorms.
“Oh sorry!” You blurted.
“No, you’re good!” Quickly piped the student before they walked away from the stairs, lightly jogging towards the large pathway towards the school. You watched them take flight, trailing with a dress suit on their shoulders only to shrug it off and continue into the dorms, knocking on the door.
Luckily, that student left it ajar.
“Hello?” You called inside, spotting very familiar faces by the lounges in the foyer.
“Yes! My player two!” Yelled Kaminari, quickly running up to you and pulling you inside. “Kaachan keeps whipping my ass!”
“That’s because you suck, Dunce face!” Growled Bakugou, his red eyes flashing towards the door before they laid on you.
“You made it just in time. Kaminari was getting desperate,” voiced Kirishima with a toothy grin.
You nervously giggled while being dragged inside, noticing how careful Kaminari was to keep your feet on the ground. It had been a couple of years now, but ever since that scare, you figured Kaminari had learnt his lesson. Otherwise, by the way Bakugou was, it came as no surprise that Kaminari was just being more careful around him. You smiled at the irate blond before Kaminari handed you a controller, soon convincing Kirishima to join in a game of teams. It was a whirlwind of a greeting, suddenly being sucked into a game of wits and fun with the Hero students. It was the release you needed filled with laughter, for at least a good hour losing to Kirishima and Bakugou.
After admitting defeat and a quick conversation with the students, Bakugou led you to his dorm, taking the elevator up to the fourth floor. The ride was silent, leaving you to wonder what was going on through his head, stopping yourself a few times to speak until the doors opened on his floor. From the corner of your eye, you noticed a familiar dual-haired student speaking with another by the stairs with quiet voices before being led to Bakugou’s door, watching Bakugou unlock it-
“Congratulations,” you finally spoke, catching his ear. “I got to witness your graduation, kinda.”
“What do you mean?” He asked gruffly while allowing you in.
“Kirishima sent me a video.”
“That Shitty Hair sent it to you?”
“I thought you knew.”
“I’m gonna kill him.”
“Please don’t.”
A grunt escaped Bakugou’s lips before he made his way to his closet, pulling out your outfit already packed in a large box. You smiled up at him, taking the box from him and placing it on his bed.
“Thanks Bakugou, I really appreciate it,” you warmly said while you opened the lid.
“What are you doing?” he asked with genuine confusion.
“Getting dressed.”
“Here?”
“Well, Midoriya offered to help but since he’s been put on the event committee I have to do it in your room.”
“So the nerd was going to dress you?”
“Do you want to help me?”
The look on Bakugou’s face was one of confusion, anger, and frustration - a fairly normal reaction for the most part. However, unbeknownst to you, he felt a flush of heat wash through his cheeks. This was never discussed between Midoriya and himself when he agreed to hold onto your outfit for tonight. In fact, the getting dressed part was never mentioned. His thoughts held his focus until he glanced your way, already stripping off your shirt.
“Wait a goddamn minute, Lightweight!” He yelled, stopping you from stripping any further. “At least, let me turn my back on you.”
You soon found Bakugou’s back indeed turned to you, looking out his window instead. You couldn’t help a small giggle before you walked up to him, grabbing hold of his wrist. “I just need your hand on my shoulder,” you reassured, placing his hand across the crook of your neck. “Just ground me. I won’t take long.”
Bakugou grumbled under his breath, but still kept his eyes outside of his room. Every movement you made caused his fingers to slip on your skin, feeling the tension in your muscles. He figured you had that backpack on for some time to keep you from flying away, but he also felt something else other than that. The short amount of time you spent with everyone downstairs gave him an odd feeling. Even the elevator ride up to his room was tense. Bakugou knew he hadn’t been keeping contact whether at the agency or on call, but today he saw something that you wanted to say.
It bothered him.
“Okay, you can let go now,” you said, allowing Bakugou to release his fingers and turn around to see you now fully dressed in your attire. What surprised him the most was that you were on the ground without any apparatus to hold you.
“Bracelets,” you explained, showing off metallic braces on your wrists. “And anklets. It took a while for support to come up with something practical for social outings.”
“Um… you look… good,” he complimented, taking you by surprise.
“Thanks, I’m glad you think so. Anything that’s good for Lord Explosion Murder-“
“Shut it with that name! It’s Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight!”
You giggled again, finding the joy of pushing his buttons sometimes before you noticed the time - close to the ETA.
“I’ll see you tonight, God Dynamight?” You asked with a smile. All you received was a scoff, enough of a response from Bakugou before leaving his dorm room and heading for the elevators. On the way, you walked past Todoroki, greeting with a quick hello before disappearing into the elevators, eager for the night to start.
Bakugou couldn’t stop this feeling that had him aloof and frustrated. He had tried to tell himself otherwise, focusing on his studies and his credentials to become a certified Pro-Hero. But with every phone call, every text, every passing moment he saw you, something stirred. It felt good, but it was wrong. You were with someone else - that Management student - that he knew did not treat you with the respect you deserved. The number of late night phone calls were proof of that, and yet, you still stayed with the man.
He couldn’t fathom your choice. And he hated it.
“Are you busy?” Asked Todoroki by his open door.
“Does it look like I’m busy?” Spat Bakugou.
“No.”
“What is it, Icy-Hot?”
“Are you going to do something about it?”
Bakugou eyed the dual-haired man, filled with anger from his thoughts, but silent without a scoff or a grumble. “What’s it to you?” he questioned with a sneer.
“We all know he’s bad news,” continued Todoroki. “Nepotism at its best.”
“Look who’s talking Half-and-Half, son of the Number One.”
“The point is that he’s rotten, never worked a day in his life, and was given a silver spoon. All signs of an arrogant, spoiled, hand-fed individual. And he doesn’t deserve them.”
Bakugou turned his glare onto Todoroki, noticing the seriousness in his eyes before he walked away from the door, leaving Bakugou with his last words. The blond stood in his room, contemplating on Todoroki’s words and the number of conversations to and fro about this feeling. He knew that the Management student was a bad egg, someone undeserving, yet he knew he couldn’t actively try to convince you. Even though he had time and time again called your beau a moron, it wasn’t enough.
For once, he hated not being direct over these years.
He grumbled while he rummaged through his closet, pulling out the outfit Kirishima had picked out for him for tonight. Perhaps seeing you later would ease the tension headache that persisted.
——
Night fell across the sky with the dying light of oranges turning into purples and the stars twinkling in the clear. The number of students that made their way to Gym Gamma came in waves, including the Hero students who came as a group. Despite his friends trying to persuade him to join, Bakugou advised he needed some time to get ready, earning a teasing jeer from Kaminari. Bakugou cared less about what words were shared, preferring to keep himself hidden after a majority of students had made their way to the prom planned for their graduation.
He was left to his thoughts, hoping that you had already made your way to Gym Gamma with your date for the night. He didn’t want to see that picture of you in his arms, knowing you chose him. That frustration brewed, coming to terms with his want of asking you to the event for months, and not going through with it.
After some time to his thoughts, Bakugou made his way, walking alone on the grounds of Heights Alliance. The quiet was deafening despite the loud music catching his ear ahead in the auditorium. He felt trapped in this emotional limbo, desperately needing to do something to satiate his need to see you. Pulling out his phone, he located your number, immediately texting without any hesitation.
I’m expecting a dance.
He smirked, feeling some sense of pride in himself, and hopefully reprieve from his own emotions until the sound of a phone caught his ear, one that immediately received a text. Bakugou stopped, turning towards the entrance of the school lecture halls, past the shoe lockers that lined the room. The closer he made his way, the louder the sobs, finding your cries echoing in the empty halls.
“Lightweight?” He called, catching your attention before you quickly tried to wipe away the tears that stained your cheeks.
From around the corner of the stairwell, you found him climbing towards you, his red eyes glaring at the sight of you sitting on the stairs, leaning underneath the railings.
“What did he do?” He quickly snapped.
“Nothing,” you spoke through your tears, attempting to calm yourself down. “He did nothing.”
“Like hell he didn’t!”
“No, Bakugou, just-“
“I’m gonna kill him.”
You saw a rage unlike anything you had seen in the blond. Despite your emotional state, you had gotten used to Bakugou’s anger, even understood it. But this was almost unspoken of, seering through his very core. Bakugou lost control. His own emotions spilled upon seeing you torn and worn, used and spat out as opposed to how happy you looked hours ago. Whatever frustrations he held, they were unleashed with a furious rage.
“He broke up with me,” you admitted, gaining Bakugou’s attention from the whirlwind of emotions he felt. “He didn’t want me to drag him through the mess that I am. I didn’t save enough. I wasn’t fast enough. I couldn’t-“
You held your head in your hands, trying to keep the tears at bay until you felt large hands grab hold of yours, pulling them away to reveal yourself to Bakugou, his eyes glaring into your red sore ones.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Asked Bakugou, his voice painted with a calm tone despite his gruff voice.
“… am I a Hero?” You asked, sniffling while your eyes looked away from his. “Am I good enough?”
Bakugou was surprised and yet confused by the question. He was still trying to understand his own feelings, this abrupt need to protect you everywhere you went despite your own independent and wayward nature.
“Five. I only saved five in two hours,” you continued. “And there were more bodies-“
You stopped your breath, holding your tears back from the thought, before the realization dawned on Bakugou. He had kept up with the news recently, a way to pass the time while waiting in his room earlier that night. An incident occurred in Musatafu involving multiple cars in a massive crash, and he recalled the body count.
He held onto your hands tightly, now realizing your hesitation to speak or start conversations. It would’ve been at the forefront of your mind, only masked by the smile you had all day for UA’s graduating classes. The next thought to follow left a bitter taste, wondering what that Management student must have said to you to think this way. With what Todoroki and he had discussed earlier that day, Bakugou could only fathom the disgusting nature of your interaction with someone who looked down at failures.
Tears continued to well up in your eyes. They wouldn’t stop. You couldn’t until you felt a large pair of arms hug you close, pushing you against the stairs but closer to his chest, engulfed in his embrace.
“You’re more than good enough,” whispered Bakugou in your ear, comforting your head against his shoulder. “You don’t need my approval or anyone else’s for that matter. You make that choice for yourself. You’re smart, you have common sense, half the time, and… you’re one of the few people I can talk to.”
He pulled you away, his eyes now glued back on yours while you stared into his, swallowing the words you just heard moments ago.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” he slowly started. ��You deserve better than that trash. You know I already call him a moron, because he is one. You-“
“You ground me,” you interrupted.
“What?”
“You’ve always grounded me Bakugou. You’ve kept me close. You’ve always looked out for me. Why?”
Bakugou choked, wondering what to say, almost feeling like he was cornered, surrounded by the emotions that had been drowning him for months. Was it right? Was this the moment?
“I’m sorry I asked,” you quickly quipped, trying to stand before you felt yourself pull back into Bakugou, his lips crashing into yours. It was a light kiss, despite the rush into it, almost hesitant on its touch before you eased into his rhythm. He was warm, tender, and it lit a spark that you wished would never stop while you held onto his neck. He pulled away slowly, caressing your cheek and embracing your breath on his, feeling every part of you while you sat by the stairs.
“You’re worthy to be a Hero,” whispered Bakugou. “And I’m proud to have you stand with me out there.”
“I’m worthy to be next to God Dynamight?” You asked with laughter breaking through your tears.
“Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh.”
Whatever sadness that broke your heart was mended in that moment, by none other than Bakugou of all people. Still, for all those moments the both of you shared, you felt a bond with him, one that incited jealousy from a growing toxic partnership. He was an explosive light that brightened the dark. He was the warmth that healed the pain.
“Still, the God Dynamight will always keep me grounded,” you continued with a smile. “Starting from zero.”
“Just call me Katsuki, dumbass,” he inferred with a growl, causing another giggle to erupt from you. “How about you come to my graduation prom with me, Twinkle Toes?”
Today was meant to be a simple day, but it wasn’t simple at all. It was more than that.
It was the start of something wonderful.
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