#(i say as if i don't answer asks when I should be working all the damn time lmao)

[divine-donna]

all you need is more radaway

save a horse. ride a cowboy. ;)

anyways i really loved the tv show and i love the game. and ghouls are just chef's kiss. or maybe that's because i love monsters. sad that i finished it so quickly. :(

perhaps i can put what i learned in my western class to good use lol

character: cooper howard aka. the ghoul

it's never easy surviving the wasteland. you don't know how you managed to survive for this long. perhaps because you seemed to have been blessed with incredible luck.

and building up endurance, of course.

you felt little to no side effects from the radiation of the food you were eating. which just meant you had a lot of radaway and rad-x stocked up.

to make ends meet, though, you had to start hunting. scavenging and scrapping by wasn't enough. you needed the extra caps.

thus your rivalry with another bounty hunter was born.

"well, well. aren't you far from home, sweetheart?"

you were used to comments about your outfit. a vault suit. yes, you came from one. you had been exiled after your father was revealed to be managing the experiment behind it. the child pays for the sins of the father always.

"you're not the first and you won't be the last." you pull the head off the body as clean as possible.

"now i don't know if you should do that."

"and why not?"

a bullet flies past you and burrows itself into the ground. you finally look up. a cowboy hat. the face of a ghoul. his gun pointing right at you.

but you weren't afraid.

"because he's my target." he pulls out a piece of paper. "and he's mine."

"seems unfair if i did all the work. and you just collect his head and the prize." you pull out the same piece of paper. yours is a little more worn out though. and covered in dried blood.

"that's the way of the wasteland sweetheart."

"if you believe so."

your hands were fast. two bullets lodged into his right left and when he looks up, you're gone.

of course, you learned from the best: western holotapes. you really liked them when you were growing up. claimed to want to be a lone hero.

in some ways, you were. the wasteland was just a new version of the wild west, wasn't it?

"spaghetti? like...the pasta?"

more like spaghetti western. he knew that, of course. but no one in the wasteland knew what a spaghetti western was. they were remnants of a past long gone and one only accessible by holotapes in the vaults.

"that's their name." the person says. "why? you have business with them?"

"perhaps." the ghoul was looking to return a favor.

"don't even try. they're far more formidable than you think."

"we'll see about that."

your rivalry was an exchange of bullets, more often than not. thankfully, you always stocked up on bloodbags and could make a stimpack from your heavy (but useful) travel chemistry kit. you were smart like that.

surprisingly, it became something to look forward. mostly because the ghoul preferred if he tried killing you, so he managed to get you out of a tough situation by killing the other people trying to kill you.

and you returned the favor. there was something satisfying about lodging a bullet into him again.

unfortunately, this left you two stuck on a job once. captured by raiders. you had been knocked out with a drug. and he had collapsed from...something.

"fuck." you mutter, pulling at the ropes binding you. your luck had run out for the day it seems, because your arms were tied to the ghoul's around this godforsaken pole. the metal was also uncomfortably rubbing up against your skin.

"you got a knife or anything sharp?" he looks over at you. it's rare to see him without his cowboy hat. his head was rather smooth.

you chuckle a little.

"something funny?" the ghoul asks.

"nothing. you're just...shaped like an egg."

"very funny."

"let me guess. your answer is no?"

"i don't have a knife up my sleeve, sadly. think they took it."

"shame." the ghoul shimmies something out of his own sleeve. he flicks the blade out and begins sawing at the rope. "watch your fingers."

you keep your fingers tucked in. eventually, the rope on your wrists comes undone and one arm soon after. the rest comes off and you rub your skin. "fuck these guys. always hated raiders."

"well, we both got sold out. we need to find that thing now. or else we'll be dead by sunrise." he tugs on the door of the jail cell and clicks his tongue.

"i don't have sharp objects. but i do have these." you pull out the bobby pin taped on the inside of your sleeve, alongside a mini screwdriver.

the lock wasn't very complicated, so you picked it with ease.

as you both are grabbing your equipment, you hear footsteps up above. light ones and heavier ones. and the sound of a muffled, altered, robotic voice.

the brotherhood of steel was worse than raiders, honestly.

"you go left, i go right. how does that sound?"

"i don't usually like taking orders from my rivals." he reloads his gun. "but for you? sure."

the event left the both of you soaked in the blood of your enemies. on the other hand, you guys left with plenty of loot and an idea of where your target was: dead. at the bottom of a lake.

it was a journey to get there, wherein you learned the details of each other's lives. you didn't think he was paying much attention to your sentences. after all, you came from a vault.

and yet, you saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

he seemed less keen on sharing details about his life, aside from his former name. cooper howard.

undeniably, as a fan of westerns, you recognized his names. from the holotapes.

"they had those?" cooper shakes his head, taking sips of water. "no way."

"yes way! it's where i learned to shoot."

"from watching my movies?"

"yes!"

"that is...a pleasant surprise." cooper leans back.

"that also makes you over 200 years old."

"that it does. something wrong with that?"

"no. the wasteland changes people." you maintain your attention to your suit, sewing a tear up. "just...you're looking for something, aren't you? everyone's always looking for something up here."

"are you looking for something?" his voice hardens and he sits up straight.

"i was. and then i found it. and i stopped." you tie the thread to seal the stitch and then tear the thread with your teeth. "i hope you find what you're looking for though."

"well, that's awfully kind of you, sweetheart."

"i have a name, you know."

"what is it?"

"(y/n)."

getting personal in the wasteland was something cooper wasn't adamant about. but the circumstances seems to call for it.

"guess we're even now."

the body of water was daunting. it was murky and dark. you pursed your lips and dumped your bag. "well. guess we have no choice."

cooper looks over at you then quickly turns around when he sees what you're doing: taking off your suit and going down to your underwear. "what are you doing?"

"i'm going to go get that head. that's how we get paid, right? easy three thousand caps. 15 hundred split evenly." you stretch.

"i think you might die."

"i'll be fine. i've done it before." Aquaperson perk.

"i can also swim, you know."

"i'll be fine cooper." you pop a rad-x pill just in case. "be back in a bit."

you dive like a swan, making minimal splash into the water. your form disappears beneath the darkness.

you're gone beneath the water for over an hour. cooper's heart was beating against his rib cage. you should be out by now. it should not be that hard. did something get you? things lurked beneath the murky waters always.

"fuck!"

he drops his equipment and begins stripping down, until he is just in his pants. he would need to dive after you. if you were dead, then so be it. it was fun while it lasted.

suddenly, you emerge. you take in the oxygen of the surface and hold the head up high. "got 'em." you swim over to the shore and walk out of the water.

there was something about how...wet you were that got him feeling hot and bothered.

"something happen down there?"

"couple of mirelurks. no big deal. which reminds me." you set the head on the ground and go back into the water. within minutes, you're pulling out the bodies of the mirelurks you had killed. "dinner."

while cutting the mirelurks open, you observe the way he walks around you. his muscles bulging a little as he cuts a mirelurk open and takes the meat. he was kind of...attractive?

"were you going to come after me?" he stops cutting hearing your question. "in the water, i mean."

"so what if i did?" cooper averts his eyes.

"that's sweet of you. i didn't know you had a soft spot for me."

"i don't."

"sure." you can tell he was lying through his teeth.

dinner was a nice, cozy meal. it was delicious. a nice surprise considering the nature of the wasteland.

cooper notices the way you're looking at him. and he looks at you the same way.

though how does this work exactly?

"do you want to..." you try to find a decent way to say this. fuck is a good term. but it felt a little vulgar in the moment.

cooper already knows what you're asking. "absolutely. if you can handle it." he smirks.

it's so cute when he smirks.

you glance over at your bag, looking at your stash of radaway. you had plenty. plus your stash of rad-x too.

"i absolutely can."

#def not my best work #fallout #fallout tv series #fallout prime #the ghoul #cooper howard #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x reader #x reader #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader

[rosequarzo]

i hope u don’t mind squeezing this lil request in ur inbox ˖  ݁ . ࿓ how abt aventurine coming home from work & clinging onto u like a koala ?? i imagine him being so clingy & tired after work — so he just wants to cuddle w u :< take ur time if you’ll be writing this !! tysm ❤︎

koala cling.

૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა • ! aventurine + reader reader is gender-neutral established relationship domestic fluff tooth-rotting fluff one pet name used usage of aventurine's real name ☆ warning not proofread . . . !? & 580 — catalogue

note. hi bambi!! hopefully you're doing well and of course i don't mind your request <3 this was really cute to write so i hope you enjoy it^^ stay safe xoxo

Whenever people hear the name Aventurine, their first thought of him was that he was an arrogant man, part of the IPC and part of their management too. He appears charismatic, egoistic and someone who loves to take risks. His motto “High risks comes with high rewards” is something he holds close to his heart.

It is also a common sight to spot him spending time in casinos, gambling to his heart’s content and as always, emerging as the rightful winner. But in the comfort and privacy of your shared home, he sheds his facade, tossing them to the side like a snake undergoing shedding. 

When it’s only you and him, he is nothing more than Kakavasha. What Kakavasha yearns for is peace and quiet as he savors your presence that has become a huge part of his life. No one is able to witness this side of him. No one except you. 

“I’m home,” your ears picked up the familiar sound of Aventurine followed by a pair of approaching slow and heavy footsteps.

You weren’t granted enough time to turn when he hugged you from behind, arms easily wrapping themselves around your waist. Aventurine rested his chin on your left shoulder, observing you as you efficiently sliced the vegetables into thin slices. Goosebumps formed on your skin when he pressed a kiss on the back of your neck and you were certain he was aware of the effect he had. 

“How was work today?” You asked, breaking the silence. 

You heard a dramatic sigh before he replied in a whiny tone; a tone that never fails to make you smile. “I had to go and chase people for their late payments, followed by countless meetings and Ratio was being mean to me! Seriously, he should learn to relax once in a while and join me to get a drink.” 

The thought of the stiff and rigid doctor acting drunk made you sniggered. You had to waddle over to the stove to cook as Aventurine was showing no signs of letting you go; not that you mind.

“Well, you know how he is. Did you encounter any difficulties today?” 

Aventurine buried his head in the crook of your neck, his words slightly muffled.

“Nope, everything was smooth sailing for me. But, I miss you.” His last three words sounded akin to a whine and it made you laugh. 

“You know you have to go to work, Kakavasha. At least you can still come home to me,” you answered, jumping when he playfully poked your sides. His action elicited a light-hearted glare thrown his way but he merely grins, leaning in to kiss you on the corner of your lips. 

“You’re right, now how about you stop whatever you’re doing and cuddle with me, please?” He pleads, going all puppy eyes and even pouting as a further measure. 

And who were you to say no?

You nodded, smiling when he made a noise of happiness and allowed yourself to be eagerly dragged to the couch in the living room. You laid down, opening your arms and Aventurine wasted no time in making himself comfortable above you. You wrapped your arms around him, acting like a shield to protect him from the world and gently brushed your hand through his hair. 

“Rest, my dear Kakavasha. You deserved it,” you whispered, seeing a faint smile formed on his face as he slowly escapes to the land of dreams, with you following shortly after. 

#୨୧ magazine articles #honkai star rail #star rail imagines #star rail x reader #aventurine imagines #aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #aventurine x y/n #aventurine fluff

[mysticheathenn]

Where Does Your Life Require Focus?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is all about where in your life you need to put more focus on This could be school, work, friendship, family, etc.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Pile l:

Tarot: 5 of Cups (reversed), Queen of Cups (reversed), The Wheel (reversed), 7 of Swords, Page of Pentacles, Queen of Swords (reversed). Clarigyer for 5 of Cups (reversed): 10 of Wands & King of Wands

"Every time I leave something keeps pullin' me back, me back. Telling me I need you in my life." - Chingy. This feels like a toxic love connection pile l that either you are currently in or you recently left. This may be with someone you have an on-and-off relationship with or this could be a repeating cycle of constantly meeting the same type of people to date with the ending always ending the same way. Either way with all of your Queen cards in reverse....I need you to stand up. The part of your life that requires your main attention right now is standing up for yourself and seeing your worth. Stop letting people play in your face, love bomb you, and make you feel less than the royal person you are. I feel a lot of you have been putting in most of the work in this relationship and you're tired of falling for the sweet nothings that they whisper in your ears to get you to calm down when you express how tired you are of their shit. Smooth Operator by Sade played in my head. You're tired of the sneakiness, the lies, the love bombs, and the gaslighting for a few of you, you're just tired of the same old story but something in you can't seem to let go because you don't value yourself let alone your time. You always don't feel as if you can do better than what you are or have been currently dealing with (this message is only for a few of you.) Just like Smokey the Bear's slogan says "Remember only you can put out wildfires." Well your slogan for this reading is "Remember only you can stop these cycles" and it starts with loving yourself, standing on business, and not going back to the people who keep hurting you all because you are afraid of being alone, the dick/pussy bomb/, or lack of belief in who you are to catch someone better.

Extra Messages: Oracle: You deserve love. Remember always that you deserve a love where you feel at peace, happy, and fulfilled. A love where you can relax your fight or flight system.

Pile ll:

Tarot: 8 of Swords, The Fool (Both Upright), The Moon,,, 7 of Cups, The Lovers, The Hierophant (All Reversed).

You deserve to follow your heart and passion pile ll. You are the only one holding yourself hostage to the things you want in your life. I believe most of you have been receiving signs and synchronicities to take the leap in the direction that has been calling you for sometime but for some strange reason you are hesitant to jump. It's as if you are stuck in the mindset that what you are currently doing is something you have to keep doing and you keep feeding yourself lies, fears, doubts, and imposter syndromes to keep yourself stuck in one place when you are meant to answer the call. Whatever that call is for you, this could be work, moving to a new city, state, or country, applying for something like a loan, or starting a new business..etc whatever it is, it is time. I'm getting the image of Lion King when the monkey goes to Mufasa and tells him it is time and he holds up Simba for all to see on Pride Rock. It is time for you to show the world your gifts, talent, your presence. Whatever this is your guides want you to have faith and step out not fearing that bad things will happen. I'm getting the question "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" Whatever is the first thing that comes to mind is that thing you are meant to do. Stop limiting your options to what is in front of you. The world is your oyster and you are meant to experience life through the eyes of fulfillment and abundance.

Extra Messages: Oracle: Prosperity, Clarity, Protection, and Compassion You are protected to take the leap in what you want to do with your life. Trust spirit that they won't let you fall and have compassion and faith in yourself that you will succeed.

Pile lll:

Tarot: The Hanged Man, 6 of Pentacles, Strength, 7 of Wands, Page of Wands (reversed), 6 of Swords (reversed), Queen of Wands (reversed)

Some of you may have been drawn to Pile ll. Pile ll was all about following the call of their heart and soul. You pile, pile lll is all about persisting and not giving up on the call. 6 of Pentacles is all about victory some of you are letting your doubts seep into your mind causing you to spiral out of control a bit because while you know things will happen you aren't seeing any proof or movement in your life or plans so it's causing you to even doubt your creativity, gifts, talents, and even yourself a bit. Stay strong and hang in there. Right now you are just in the limbo of your desires but they're on the way, just have faith. Cancel the noise that keeps trying to pull you under. Ignore those who keep questioning your every move because they secretly want you to fail and you are not going to let them because you are strong. The hard part was starting what you have done, now hang in there and keep going down this road. There are no rainbows without a little rain and stormy weather. You've got this boo. Don't walk away from what you are currently doing everything will pay off. In the meantime do some affirmations, work on other projects to help keep your mind busy, hang out with friends, and plan for this victory to happen because it's coming you just need to have patience, keep the faith, and don't give up.

Extra Messages: Oracle Messages: None. Just keep the faith, persist, tell people who keep questioning what you are doing to mind their business, and be happy for yourself and bring more happiness to your life.

Pile lV:

Tarot: 7 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, 3 of Cups, 9 of Wands, 2 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords (reversed)

This pile has two messages but the main message is there are quite a few of you who are daydreaming a lot about financial abundance, celebrating wins, new friendships, etc but you aren't willing to put in the work to achieve these things because you either have been hurt in the past and not wanting to deal with people or it's easier t daydream than to actually go after what you are wanting. Then there are the select few of you who need to balance your work life. You are all work and no play and you are facing burnout. For some of you, your burnout is causing you to rethink everything that you want and have done so far in your life when in reality you just need a break. Go to the spa if you can afford it, or do a DIY spa treatment at home where you run yourself a bath, buy chocolate-covered strawberries, or watch your favorite shows, and maybe even take yourself out on the town. Either way, you need to show yourself some grace and slow down. You will get to the financial abundance and celebration in due time but you won't be able to enjoy it as much because you are constantly wearing yourself down. Nothing bad will happen if you decide to take a day off. Now for those who ar daydreaming about success without doing anything, you may just like pile ll, be called to view pile l. Pile l is all about answering the call of their heart but you...I don't feel you have anything specific per se you want to go after that will bring you financial abundance. All you know is you want it and you're not acting on coming up with ways of trying to achieve it because you believe it's hard. You're belief system and lack of direction are holding you back pile lV for those who resonate with daydreaming.

Extra Messages: Oracle Messages: None The world will not explode if you decide to take a day off. Don't run yourself into the ground. For others, find your passion, try something for fun and see where it leads, or even try the thing you have had on your mind for some time and see where it leads. Roald Dahl — 'You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.'

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

#spirituality #witchblr #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a card #tarot cards #pac tarot #pick a pile #pac reading #pick an image #pick a photo #pick a picture

[bethelighthalazia]

Terrifying - Part 2

Summary:  Yunho feels horrible for scaring and hurting you, so he apologizes and promises to do everything to show you how important you are to him and how much he loves you.

Genre:  angst, fluff

Pairing: bf!Yunho X fem!reader

Word Count:  1753

Warnings: mentions of wounds/scratches, mentions of hurting, sad Yuyu, mentions of crying, insecure reader

networks: @newworldnet

[note: thank you, @ja3hwa for helping me with finding a good ending paragraph <3]

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

At the dorms, the others were around you the moment Mingi stepped through the main entrance. San took you out of Mingi´s arms, who then left again to check on Yunho while you were placed on the big sofa. Wooyoung had already grabbed blankets to cuddle up in the living room with you to watch any movie you want. It seems that Yunho had called the others, the second you and Mingi had left the apartment, to tell them what happened. 

“Y/n, could I check on your wounds please?” Seonghwa asked with a gentle voice, a first aid kit in his hand while he sat down on the sofa next to you. You nodded, wiping your face with one hand while holding your other arm out towards him. “Oh, you´re wearing the bracelet we got you!” A smile on Seonghwa´s face, he gently dabbed some disinfectant ointment on the scratches, causing you to wince ever so slightly every time. “Do- do you think he's mad at me now? I- I think I hurt his feelings…” You sniffled quietly, some new tears appearing in your eyes, but before Seonghwa could answer, you´re pulled into a tight hug by Wooyoung who shakes his head no. 

“He's more worried about you being mad at him, y/n.” Jongho said, carrying a bowl with your favorite snacks over to you. “Don´t worry, he loves you, that I am absolutely sure of.” 

When he put down the bowl, the maknae gave you a soft squeeze to the shoulder before then leaving the room, he didn't want you to possibly get overwhelmed with too many people around for now. Hongjoong also came over to the sofa and placed a kiss on top of your head, something he had done almost ever since you met the boys, because he sees you as his sister, and then whispered something to Seonghwa before leaving to go check on Yunho as well, knowing you're in the best hands.

Yeosang just stayed quiet, sitting on the other sofa and turning on the TV for you, knowing well which ones are your favorites to watch. Your head was now resting on Wooyoung´s shoulder, you felt your eyes getting heavy, but you didn't want to fall asleep yet, too scared that nightmares could haunt your dreams. “Woo? Why- why do you all seem so calm?” You asked after a few moments, frowning a bit when you realized that they are too calm for what happened. When Wooyoung exchanges looks with San, Seonghwa and Yeosang, you swallow hard. Is there something they don't want to tell you? A secret that they hide from you?

“Y/n, I think-” “That's something Yunho should tell you himself, y/nnie.” Mingi, who just entered the dorms again, cut off Seonghwa who was trying to answer you, but then the others just nod at Mingi´s words. When you heard his voice, your head perked up, accidentally hitting Wooyoung's chin slightly, your eyes wide. “Mingi, how-” “He is okay, Hongjoong hyung is with him now to help clean up your apartment. He sent me here to see how you feel and if you need anything.” Mingi hummed, coming over to sit on the floor right in front of the sofa. 

“I'm…okay?” With a raised eyebrow, Mingi looked at you, he could always tell if you´re telling the truth or not and often, he even knows better how you feel than you do yourself. With a little sigh, you shrugged, not even sure how exactly you feel. But you weren't in pain anymore, that is something you can say for sure.

“Really Mingi…I am not in pain or anything, I just-” “You´re confused, right?” Nodding, you fully focused on your best friend, Wooyoung laid an arm around you again to calm you down a bit. No one spoke for a while, just letting you relax and hopefully doze off a bit. It indeed almost worked, your eyes heavy while your head rested against Wooyoung´s shoulder and Mingi caressed your hands in a soothing manner, you almost fell asleep.

That is, until a jingle of keys, quiet voices and the sound of a door unlocking is heard. your head jerked up, again hitting Wooyoung´s chin, when you heard your boyfriend´s voice answering to Hongjoong. Mingi got to his feet almost instantly, staring at the entryway, where soon Hongjoong and Yunho appeared. “Hyung, are you-” “Everyone out, except for y/n, Mingi and Yunho.” Hongjoong said and, to everyone's surprise, the room actually cleared. The captain just patted Yunho ́s back gently before leaving as well, but you knew that he’d be just one room further, so he could intervene if needed.

While Mingi just stared at them, Yunho had only eyes for you, an expression like a beaten puppy on his face. You know that he's feeling horrible, knowing that Yunho is not the type of person to hurt others purposefully. Yet, your body flinched slightly when he took a step closer to the sofa, your movement causing him to freeze on the spot. Mingi sat down on the armchair nearby, just in case, but he didn't intervene at all. 

“Y/n, love I-” Yunho started, but then got quiet, not sure what he could say to undo his actions. “I know that nothing I say would make you forget that I hurt you…and I-” He took a deep breath, just standing in the middle of the room, not coming closer to you for now. “I would understand if you'd hate me and never want to see me anymore.” His voice got quieter with every word he spoke, you could see how hard it is to talk while knowing that you probably are scared of him now. “But please…could I try to explain? I won't try to make any excuses, because I know my behavior was absolutely unacceptable and no excuse or apology could undo it.”

With a short glance over to Mingi who gave a reassuring nod, you then nod as well, patting the free space on the sofa next to you. “O- okay…I have a question though…are you still mad at me?” You asked quietly, to which Yunho quickly took a few steps over to you to take your hand, just to then freeze when you flinch. “S- sorry, I didn't mean to scare you again-” He whispered, slowly kneeling down in front of you, taking your hand in his. “But please, y/nnie, my love, my heart, I could never be mad at you. I wasn't even upset with you earlier, but with myself and all the stress I had the last weeks…I tend to bottle it all up and sometimes it just bursts out of me. Usually I would come here and tell Mingi, then we would go to the gym or something, but this time, I didn't…and let it out on you.”

Yunho's voice broke, the thought of hurting you already let him get teary and his heart dropped. “B- before I asked you to be my girlfriend, I swore to myself to never have such an outburst near you…and now I even scarred you because of it-” Pulling his hands away, he sat on the back of his feet, still kneeling in front of you, his head dropped against his chest. He truly looked like a sad puppy and you would love to pull him into a soothing embrace, yet you cannot bring yourself to do so. Even though you knew that he meant every word, and that he would never purposefully hurt you, you cannot shake off the fear and the broken trust between the two of you.

“Yunho-” You whispered, his frame getting smaller as he curled into himself , almost slumping in front of you when you didn't use your usual nickname for him. This was what Yunho always had feared; to hurt you and to push you away from him. “I- I just…I still love you, but…but I also am scared. I trusted you with my life…but now? I don't- I don't know if I can trust you. So-” With another deep breath, you tried to steady your voice, tears again stinging in your eyes. “So please…give me time, okay? I love you…and I still want to be with you, but- but a trust that's broken like this…I don't know how long it might take to rebuild, but…but you will have to show me that I can trust you again…”

Yunho nodded silently, his mind racing. You still wanted to be with him, even though you knew that he would be capable of hurting you? His heart beat faster, with a quick movement, he wiped away his tears before looking up, he had no right to cry when he was the one who had hurt you. “I will do anything, jagiya. Everything to show you that you mean more to me than anything else.” He then said after a few moments of silence, his voice quiet but hopeful. “You are my everything, y/nnie, and I am so…so thankful that you give me this chance.”

You already knew that your heart forgave him the moment he called Mingi to get you out of the danger he might have gotten for you back then, proving already that he never wanted to hurt you in the first place. But, forgiving does not mean to immediately trust him again, both of you knew this. And both of you were ready to be patient. After a short glance around to reassure yourself that Mingi is still in the room with you two, you slowly moved, getting down from the sofa to hug Yunho, who's still kneeling in front of you. The hug felt awkward and you didn't keep this closeness for long, but when you whispered an “I love you, Yuyu” before leaning back, you could feel his heartbeat accelerate and a hopeful expression appeared on Yunho's face. 

“I love you, y/nnie. Thank you for letting me prove myself to you, even if I don't deserve your kindness after I hurt you like this…” You sat there in silence for a moment letting him say sorry over and over again, glancing at Mingi every now and then to make sure everything was okay. You knew this situation wasn't going to go away. And you knew he would stop at nothing to show you that you can trust him again. 

It was going to be a long road and Yunho was willing to travel down it. For you.

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson, @hotteokkay, @minkilicious, @bunnliix,

@gong-fourz, @yeosangiess, @jayshoneybee, @dinossaurz, @scuzmunkie,

@en-happiness, @kibs-and-bits

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

#kat writes <3 #newworldnet #ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez yunho #ateez angst #ateez imagine #ateez fluff

[anniemika]

No one else

Eren Jaeger x Female Reader

Words: 6.9k

Warnings: explicit sex, cunnilingus, cursing

…..

"Mommy! Daddy’s here!” The sound of tiny footsteps echoed through the apartment, causing your maternal instincts to kick in. Worried that your daughter might trip on the stairs, you hurriedly made your way to the hallway. To your surprise, you found her standing by the door, her little backpack neatly packed, and her favorite plush toy clutched tightly under her arm.

"Sweetheart, what have I told you about running down the stairs?" you asked, trying to hide your smile at how adorable she looked.

"I know... sorry," she replied, giving you the most irresistible puppy eyes, swaying on her feet as if she knew exactly how to melt your heart. Just like someone else you knew.

"Mr. Poodles is coming with you, huh?" you said, kneeling down to help her tie her shoes properly.

"He can't wait to see Daddy, just like me," she grinned, hugging her stuffed animal. "Wish you were coming too."

For a moment, you froze. "This is your time with Daddy, baby. You've spent the whole day with me."

"But don't you want to have fun with me and Daddy too?" she asked, her innocent eyes searching for an answer. Right as she finished her question, the person of your discussion knocked on the apartment door.

"Daddy!" Your daughter practically pushed you out of the way as soon as you opened it, throwing herself into her father's arms.

"Wow! You're getting bigger every day!" he exclaimed, holding her tightly. "How's my baby girl?"

"I can't wait to go to the ice rink!" she squealed with excitement.

"Oh, me too, baby. Do you have your skates ready?"

"Umm, I think they're upstairs."

"Then go fetch 'em!" releasing her from his embrace, you both watched as she sprinted towards the stairs.

“Remember what I said!” you said after her, but she was too eager to hear your reminder.

You turned your attention back to her father, who was still smiling goofily, his eyes fixed on the direction your daughter had gone.

"She's been talking about this all day," you said to him, your lips curving into a smile.

Eren turned to face you, his gaze lingering a bit too long on your features before he spoke. "Yeah, she's been wanting to go for some time now."

"Just keep an eye on her, please. You know how hyperactive she can get, just like-"

"Me?" Eren tried to hide his smile, but it was evident, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Yes, just like you," you replied, a hint of affection in your voice.

You stare at each other for a few moments, before Eren grabs his backpack and begins to rummage through it. “I, uh.. got you something.”

You adjoin your eyebrows in confusion, but then he clarifies. “For your birthday.”

“Eren, you shouldn’t ha-“

“I wanted to.” He declares with a tone that suggests there’s no point in fighting him about it. After he gets a tiny present box out of his backpack, he moves closer, handing it to you.

"Thanks." You smile timidly, trying to escape his gaze. After nervously opening the present, your eyes grow wide when you see it. “Oh my god, Eren..”

You put your hand against your mouth in awe of the golden necklace positioned in the little box. It’s a lock necklace in the shape of a heart, with your daughter’s picture right at the center of it.

“Eren, this is... it’s beautiful.” Your eyes are still large as you inspect the jewelry, “thank you, thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Eren casts a warm smile your way. You exchange glances with him, something you can’t quite decipher shining in his jewel eyes. “I was thinking-“

“I’m ready!” Your little bundle of joy appears in front of you, showcasing her pink glittery skates in her hand.

“Yeah?” Eren kneels next to her, giving a kiss on her puffy cheek. He looks at her, then at you, and then leans closer to your daughter’s ear, “Say, sweetheart.. don’t you think mommy should come with us, too?”

She doesn’t even waste a second, “Yes! Mommy, please come with us!”

You shake your head, “I can’t, sweetheart, I have work to do.”

“But it’s Saturday! Saturday is for fun!” Your daughter purses her upper lip, giving you the cutest little pout you’ve ever seen.

“She does have a point.” Eren nods his head. “Come on. I’ll be making pasta later.” He tilts his head the same way he does every time he tries to persuade you about something. And you hate that you’re debating it. It’s been four months since the last time you allowed yourself to spend time with Eren, and it was the same time you decided that it’d be best to co-parent instead of trying to fix your complicated relationship. He’d agreed to it, although it took him some time to understand what that actually meant. No more touching, kissing, spending nights together. It was hard for him, but with time, it seemed like he accepted it. Your kid was the most important thing for the both of you.

But even so, you could feel that there was still something. He was the father of your kid, and it didn’t help how amazing he was with her. Every time you saw them together, your heart would skip a beat. You couldn’t have asked for a better dad for your little girl. He did everything for her, helped her with school, taught her how to ride a bike, spent an enormous amount of time just playing with her and paying her attention. You were so grateful for that.

And you knew he still had a thing for you. He hadn’t gotten a new girlfriend even though women ogled him left and right, and when he would come to pick your kid up, he’d always talk to you, not being so smooth in trying to find out if you were dating someone or not.

Eren can see you’re still debating it, so he raises his arm in the air, “Everyone who wants mama to come, raise your hand.”

Your daughter follows suit, one tiny hand in the air, the other one holding onto Mr. Poodles’s hand. And you want to cry because this is the cutest image in the entire world.

“See, three against one.” Eren smirks your way, and of course, your cheeky daughter mimics it. That’s when you know, you’ve lost.

“Fine.” They both erupt into cheers, giving each other high fives. “Only for a little while, though.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

…..

The ice rink wasn’t as full as you’d expected for a Saturday, which was a welcome surprise. You couldn’t even remember the last time you went, but it was probably with Eren. He was the one that taught you, and then taught your little girl as well. It always amazed you how even though he was pretty impatient as a person, he was always so patient when it came to her... and to you, too. You really liked that about him.

You watched your daughter grab onto her father’s hand as they slid their skates across the rink, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart get full.

“Mommy! Come on!” She shouts to you, waving her little hand as Eren turns to look at you, a soft smile gracing his lips.

And if you really think about it, this is all you’ve ever wanted.

…..

“I should go.” You say as you gather your skates in one hand, watching as Eren helps your daughter undo hers. You’d been skating for the past two hours, and it was beginning to get cold, so after having spent the best time laughing and doing circles around the rink, with your bundle of joy holding you and Eren by your hands, you’d decided to call it a day.

“Don’t,” Eren basically jumps from the ground, his reaction surprising all three of you. Trying not to cringe from his sudden actions, he moves a bit closer, until you can faintly smell his cologne. “Please stay.”

You’d be lying if you said you expected the vulnerable tone those words came out with. He locked his gaze with yours, the pleading look in his eyes striking something deep inside your chest.

You still don’t say anything, so Eren tries again, “We’ll drive you afterwards. Right, sweetheart?” He turns to his daughter, who’s already giving you her irresistibly green puppy eyes.

“Please, mama. Mr. Poodles is gonna be sad if you leave.” She’s bringing the plush toy to her chest, her pointy chin resting on the animal’s head. They’re both really working you today.

You move your stare back to Eren’s, who looks like a little boy waiting for his parents to allow him something he really wants. You ignore the nestled feeling inside your chest, the one that seems to know why he’s acting this way. Finally, you sigh, tilting your head to catch your daughter’s expression again, “Well, I guess I can’t let Mr. Poodles be sad, now can I?”

…..

You hadn’t been to Eren’s new place ever since he left your shared apartment. You knew where it was because you’d often pick your daughter up from there, but you never felt comfortable enough to go in. Deep inside, you knew why you never wanted to. Not that you’d admit it to yourself or anyone else, but truth was, you were scared. Scared of accidentally bumping into a hook up, even though you knew he’d never allow that while your kid was there. But still, you were always on edge. You were afraid of him living the bachelor life now that you officially weren’t together, because as much as you wanted him to be happy, seeing your daughter’s father with another woman was something you weren’t sure you were ever going to be ready for.

But now, as you make your first step inside, you’re instantly washed with a sense of relief. The place isn’t big nor small, there’s just the right amount of space for a single dad whose kid comes over a couple of times a week. It’s tidy, there is no cereal on the table or alcohol bottles scattered around the shelves. There are a few plants positioned next to the window, their leaves as green as their owner’s eyes. You can even see the little cherry tomato tree you gave him as a gift after your third date—you’d made cherry tomato pasta that he absolutely loved, begging you for the recipe afterwards. Even though it was pretty simple, his reaction made you so happy, you gifted him the tree the next time you guys saw each other. You’d told him that whenever he wanted, you could make it for him with homemade tomatoes.

“Mommy, look what daddy and I drew!” Your daughter breaks your train of memories when she sprints towards the coffee table in the living room, grabbing what you suspect is the drawing, “Look! It’s us!”

She proudly presents the painting to you, smiling from ear to ear. You crouch down next to her, examining what you presume is all three of you holding each other by the hand, with wide smiles drawn on your faces. You can’t help but grin.

“Oh wow, you’re quite the artist, aren’t you?”

“Daddy helped!” She goes to grab her father by the hand, and you exchange glances with his handsome face, emerald eyes shooting arrows right through your heart.

“I bet he did.” You look down at the picture again, memorizing every little detail. How your hair is in your usual hairstyle, how Eren’s shirt is in his favorite green, how your daughter has a huge grin on her face, the same one she has on right now in front of you. And even when just looking at this drawing is enough to fill your heart with joy, you know that it’s not really similar to your real life. Because you and Eren.. you’re separated. You don’t take your kid for walks in the park together. You don’t go to the movies as a family. You don’t fall asleep in his arms after you’ve read your kid a bedtime story. The only time in the near past that you felt this way was today.. at the ice rink. It amazed you how life had the unimaginable gift of making you forget all the bad with just a little bit of good.

Eren notices the sudden sullen look on your face, so he quickly changes the subject, “All right girls, go sit yourselves down. I’m going to start dinner.”

…..

The sweet aroma of sizzling garlic fills the air of the kitchen. You’re seated opposite your little girl, who is now drawing a picture of a cat she’d seen outside the ice rink. It was her favourite animal, something she doesn’t keep away from you or Eren, giving not so subtle hints of what she would describe as the perfect birthday present.

“It smells really good.”

You say, trying to keep the conversation light and neutral. You're aware of the tension that underlies these simple domestic moments, but you're also conscious of the need to maintain a sense of normalcy for your daughter's sake.

Eren glances over his shoulder, offering you a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks. I'm making that cherry tomato pasta. Remember, the one you taught me?"

You nod, the memory bittersweet. "Yeah, I remember."

Your daughter, oblivious to the emotional undercurrents, chatters excitedly about the orange cat she’s drawing, her words filling the space with innocent energy. You listen to her, responding with the appropriate nods and laughs, but part of your attention remains on Eren. The ease with which he handles the kitchen utensils and the familiar way he moves around the space remind you of the times you cooked together, a pang of nostalgia hitting you as you watch.

The pasta is served, with Eren sitting down beside you. You take a bite, the flavors just as you remember, and you can't help but compliment Eren on his cooking. "You've got this down to a T," you say, a genuine smile touching your lips.

Eren looks pleased with the praise. "I had a good teacher," he replies, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before he turns his attention back to your daughter, who is happily twirling pasta onto her fork.

“Do you like it, sweetheart?” He asks her, removing some stray hairs from her face so they don’t end up in her meal. The sight makes your heart swell.

“Best pasta ever!” She gives him a grin and Eren chuckles, pinching her on the nose.

“You’re the cutest kid ever.”

“Have to agree with that statement.” You chime in, smiling at them both.

“It’s no surprise. You made her.” 

Eren's comment catches you off guard, a compliment wrapped in a simple truth, and it brings a flush to your cheeks.

You give a soft laugh, brushing off the sentiment with a playful roll of your eyes, but inside, your heart feels a gentle tug. "Well, I had some help," you reply, acknowledging the role he's played not just in her creation, but in the person she's becoming.

Eren nods his head, attempting to conceal his smile, but it was futile. The warmth of the moment seems to hang in the air and the rest of the meal passes with ease, punctuated by laughter and the occasional playful banter. It's a reminder of the chemistry that once brought you together, still present in these small interactions. As you watch Eren interact with your daughter, his love for her evident in every gesture and word, you once again prove to yourself that choosing him as the father of your child was the right choice. Despite the separation, he remains a devoted father in every aspect, and that's something you can't help but respect.

After dinner, as Eren clears the table and insists on handling the dishes, you take the opportunity to spend some quiet time with your daughter, helping her with a puzzle she shows you, one that she’d started with her dad a week ago.

“You’re not ready for what I’m about to show you.” Eren’s voice carries a playful tone as he approaches, drying his hands on a dish towel. 

“What is it?” You turn to him, trying to ignore the way he’s rolled up his sleeves, his big, veiny hands on display.

“Just wait here.” He says with a grin, disappearing for a moment into another room. When he returns, he’s holding something behind his back, a knowing smile playing on his lips. You exchange a curious look with your daughter, who shrugs with an amused smile. Then with a flourish, Eren presents what looks like an album, one you instantly recognise when you read the title emblazoned across the cover. It's a photo album you both started when your daughter was born, filled with snapshots of her life, from her very first moments in this world.

You take it in your hands as if you’re holding the most precious thing in your life — because in a way, you are. The album is more than just a collection of photographs; it's a tangible chronicle of your daughter's journey, a narrative woven together by the love and care of her parents. You run your fingers over the title, the letters familiar and filled with a history that only you and Eren understand. 

“I haven’t seen this in forever.” You say, with a sort of awe in your voice as you flip the first page. There she was, your daughter, in her very first photograph, a tiny bundle swaddled in a hospital blanket. 

“Found it at my mom’s house.” Eren says as he settles on the living room couch beside you. You lean into the comfort of the cushions, the album resting on your lap, and as you turn the pages, you're enveloped by the warmth of the memories it holds.

Each photograph tells a story, and you're struck by the vividness of those early days, the emotions as fresh as if they were just yesterday. The sleep-deprived smiles, the first time your daughter grasped your finger, the countless expressions of wonder as she discovered the world around her—all are captured in these pages.

"It's amazing you found this," you say, looking over at Eren with gratitude. "I didn't even realize how much I missed it until now."

Eren nods, his gaze lingering on the images. "Yeah, I stumbled upon it while helping Mom with some cleaning. I figured we should have it here, where we can all look at it whenever we want."

The two of you continue to reminisce, sharing stories and laughter as your daughter, now more interested in the album than her puzzle, climbs onto the couch to join you. She points to a photo of herself as a toddler, her face painted with an expression of pure joy, and asks about the day it was taken.

"That was your second birthday," Eren explains, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "You had that little cake with the cartoon characters on it. You were so excited you barely let us cut it."

“Can I have the same one on my next birthday?” She asks with that childlike innocence that makes each question so endearing. 

"Of course, sweetheart," you reply, matching her enthusiasm. "We'll find a cake that makes you just as happy as that one did. Maybe we can even add some new decorations to make it extra special for this year."

Eren nods in agreement, always ready to make her birthday wishes come true. "We'll make it a great birthday," he assures her. "Maybe we can even look at some pictures together and pick out what you like best for the cake design."

Your daughter claps her hands excitedly, the prospect of planning her cake adding to the anticipation of her birthday, no matter that it was 5 months ahead. "Yay! I want it to be a surprise, though. I want to see it and be like, 'Wow!'"

You both laugh, charmed by her excitement and her desire for a surprise. "It'll be our little project," Eren tells her. "A big, happy birthday surprise."

The evening continues with a warm, gentle rhythm as you turn more pages of the album. Each photograph sparks a new conversation, a new story, or a fond recollection. And as the night progressed and the album came to an end, your daughter ended up falling asleep on your shoulder. 

Eren quietly gathers her in his arms and carries her to her bedroom, her head resting against his shoulder as he walks. You follow, watching the tender scene. The house was quiet, save for the soft sounds of your daughter's breathing and the faint creak of the floorboards underfoot.

Once in her room, Eren gently lays her down in her bed, taking care not to wake her. He pulls the covers up to her chin and tucks them around her snugly, ensuring she is comfortable and warm. You stay in the doorway, your heart full, observing this nightly ritual that never seems to lose its significance.

With the stealth and coordination of seasoned parents, you both retreat from the room, Eren turning off the light and closing the door just enough to leave a comforting sliver of light from the hallway. The two of you return to the living room, the silence a stark contrast to the laughter and storytelling that had filled it just a short while ago.

“It's been a good day," Eren says softly, his voice reflecting the peaceful atmosphere.

"Yeah, it really has," you agree, leaning against his kitchen counter.

Eren looks down at his feet, like he’s trying to find the proper words. "I wanted.. to say thank you. For tonight, for this," he gestures to the space around you, encompassing the warmth of the evening spent together, "for everything."

You offer him a soft smile, "I'm glad we did this," you reply. "It's important, for her."

And for us.

“She was really happy, wasn’t she?”

You nod, trying not to look him in the eyes. You felt.. vulnerable. You and him, alone, in this close proximity.. it hasn’t happened in a long time. And with the way your heart is beating, you know what you should do next, no matter if it is the last thing you want to do.

“I should get going. It’s getting late.” You tell him quietly, afraid of not waking your daughter up. 

“Wait,” he grabs your hand just before you begin to walk away. Eren's grip is gentle but firm, a silent plea for just a moment longer. You pause, turning back to face him and those beautiful green eyes of his. 

“Y/n, I…” he hesitates, searching for the right words, his eyes locked with yours. “I’ve missed you.” 

You feel a flutter in your chest, his words stirring emotions you've tried to keep at bay. Your mouth opens slightly, but words don’t find you.

His face contorts into a melancholic smile, “I barely functioned without you.”

The confession hangs in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken truths. You can see the sincerity in Eren's eyes, the raw honesty that he's allowing you to see. It's disarming, and for a moment, you're transported back to a time when the distance between you didn't exist.

You swallow hard, the flutter in your chest growing into a storm of emotions that you struggle to contain. Nonetheless, you try to keep the conversation light, letting out a low laugh.

“Seems like you’ve been doing fine.”

But Eren doesn’t buy that. He takes a few steps closer to you until you can smell his cologne.

“Yeah, well, I had to. Doesn’t mean you haven’t been on my mind the whole time.”

Eren's proximity and his familiar scent make your heart race, and the walls you've built to compartmentalize your feelings feel as though they're beginning to crumble. You take a deep breath, trying to maintain your composure. The closeness is overwhelming, and you're reminded of the intimacy you once shared. It's a dangerous territory, and part of you wants to step back, to reestablish the boundaries that have kept you both grounded in your new reality.

“Eren, we’ve been through this-“

“I can’t be with anyone else.” He spits out, and you’re left speechless. His declaration cuts through the air, leaving a silence that feels both heavy and electric.

“And I’ve tried- fuck, I’ve really tried, but it doesn’t work. You’re my girl.”

Your stomach is doing somersaults. The intensity of Eren's confession sends your emotions into overdrive, and for a moment, you're caught in the eye of a storm that's been quietly brewing. His words, raw and unfiltered, resonate with a part of you that you've tried to keep hidden away, a part that still responds to him with a familiar pull.

“Eren, this isn’t right- things are fine now, for the first time in a long time. We’ve worked too hard for this, for where we are now.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” His eyes convey his apology, but you can see he’s been keeping this inside for way too long. “But I really don’t think I can ever imagine my life without you.”

“You won’t have to, we have a child-“

“Yes, I know.” It comes out a bit harsh, but he doesn’t mean for it to be. “But just the thought that you might end up with someone else.. it’s like a fucking tumor inside my brain.”

The rawness in Eren's voice strikes a chord within you, and you can't help but empathize with the pain he's expressing. It's clear that his feelings are genuine and that he's been wrestling with them for some time. Yet, despite the empathy you feel, you know that the health of your family dynamic is at stake.

“Eren.” You say softly but firmly, “We have a little kid together. I don’t want to screw her up like my parents did me. I want her to be happy.”

“Don’t you think she will be, though? All she does is ask me when I’m moving back. We’ve never fought in front of her. You know I’d never let that happen.”

“Yes, but we did fight a lot last time. I don’t want to live like that, like my-“

“Hey, we are not your parents, okay?” He cradles your face in his hands, and that’s when you realise there were tears forming in the corners of your eyes, “Stop thinking about them and just think about us.” 

You stay like that, looking up at him, his touch gentle and comforting.

“I’m so sorry about last time, believe me. I’ve learned from my mistakes. And I know it’s hard for you, but I’ll show you. All I want is for you and our baby to be happy.”

The warmth of Eren's hands on your face and the sincerity in his eyes make it hard to maintain the walls you've built to protect yourself. 

“I love you to death, y’know that, right?”

And then, it’s all over.

“Eren..“, you hiccup, crumbling into his arms, sobbing quietly as the emotional dam breaks. The stress of holding back, of trying to be strong and keep everything together, is suddenly too much. Eren's arms wrap around you, a sturdy presence in the midst of your vulnerability.

"I know, I know," he murmurs, his voice a soothing balm as he holds you close. "I'm here. I've got you."

The comfort of his embrace allows you to let go, if only for a moment, of the fears and doubts that have been haunting you. In the safety of his arms, you allow yourself to feel the full extent of your emotions—the love, the hurt, the hope, and the uncertainty.

“There’s never going to be anyone else for me. Ever.” He whispers, “I’m willing to do the work. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

You feel the steady beat of his heart against your ear, a rhythm that once felt as familiar as your own. He loves you. He truly does, and you know that, you’ve always known. After a moment, he brings you back by the shoulders so he can look at your face.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“Stop it.”

You try to hide yourself in your hands, but he catches them softly.

“It’s true. No one else compares, baby.” He brings his hands to your hips, and your heart skips a beat. “No one.” 

“Eren..”, you say his name softly, eyes glued to his pretty lips.

“Yeah?” He reciprocates your tone, and you’re sure he’s caught on the change of atmosphere. Of course he has, he’s the one who started it.

“I’ve missed you, too.” You encircle your arms around his neck, bringing him even closer.

“Shit, not as much as me.” He presses his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, “It was like a part of me was gone. The only time I felt happy was when I was with our baby girl.. and when I’d see you.”

“I.. I didn’t know what to do. I thought this was the best decision, but.. I was so sad, Eren.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He rubs soothing circles around your hips, “If I wasn’t such an idiot, this wouldn’t have happened.” 

You stay like that for a while before he catches your chin between his fingers, making your eyes meet. “Do you love me still?”

Even if you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t bring yourself to.

“.. Yes.”

You’d never seen him smile like that. It was the purest, most joyful smile you’ve ever seen on a person. He doesn’t waste any time, pulling your face closer until your lips meet, the kiss soft but passionate, one that sends butterflies across your whole being, one that you’ve dreamed about for the past 5 months. 

When the kiss ends, his gaze rests on your face, “Then..”, he removes a strand of hair behind your ear, “if you still trust me, give us another chance, Y/n.”

You’re embarrassed by how aroused you feel in this moment, with his body pressed against yours, faces inches away. 

“Kiss me again.” You whisper before pulling him to you again, this time taking the lead, your hands leading his to your lower back, signaling for him to pick you up. Eren doesn’t need an explanation with words, he knows exactly what you want. And even though he wants it more than anything in the world right now, he still knows that he needs to be cautious, to ensure that this is what you truly want and not just a momentary lapse driven by old feelings and the intimacy of the moment.

He looks into your eyes, searching for confirmation, for the certainty that this step is one you both want to take. "Are you sure?" he asks quietly, his voice a mix of desire and concern. The last thing he wants is to rush you or make a decision that could complicate the fragile progress you've been making.

"Yes," you reply, your voice steady, eyes locked with his. There's a clarity in your decision, a conscious choice that speaks to the connection you still share. You're aware of the significance of this moment, of the potential it has to either rekindle something beautiful or to reignite past pains. But right now, you're choosing to focus on the present, on the longing you feel, and the man before you who still holds your heart.

“Take me to bed, Eren. Please.”

With your affirmation, Eren gently lifts you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he supports you with strong arms. The kiss deepens, fueled by longing and a profound familiarity that has never truly faded. It's a dance of lips and breath, a silent conversation that speaks volumes about the love and tension that have always characterized your relationship.

Eren carries you with a tenderness that belies his strength, each step towards the bedroom measured and deliberate. The world outside this moment—the doubts, the history, the fears—falls away, leaving only the two of you and the undeniable pull that has always existed between you.

As he lays you down on the bed, there's a reverence in his touch, a silent promise to cherish and respect the trust you're placing in him. He kisses your lips, your cheeks, your chin, and each kiss is a wordless vow, a gentle affirmation of his love for you. Eren's lips move with a purpose, tracing a path of passion across your neck, your soft breaths an indication that he’s on the right path. When he reaches the buttons of your shirt, his eyes meet yours again, a silent question lingering in them, seeking permission to continue. You nod slightly, watching as he undoes each button slowly. When he realises you’re not wearing a bra, he lets out a low groan before taking a nipple inside his mouth. You moan, his expert tongue drawing circles around the nub, making you feel a warmth at the pit of your stomach. His fingers go to the other breast, squeezing it not too gently, something you understand given the fact he hasn’t touched you in more than five months. 

“You have the most perfect tits.” The comment pulls a soft giggle out of you, one that disappears the moment his palm lands on your clothed heat. Now he’s the one smiling, his tongue still working your sensitive nipples. He knew you loved it when he played with your breasts.

When he decides to keep going down, he lets go of your tit with a bop, then kisses down your navel, paying attention to every part of your unclothed body.

“I’ve thought about this every day.” A kiss. “Every night.” A lick. “Every fucking hour you weren’t with me.” A suckle.

Your moans echo through the bedroom as Eren undoes the belt on your jeans, chuckling when your impatient self lifts your hips to help him remove the garments more easily. He does as you wish, throwing your jeans onto the floor, cursing when he sees your white panties are soaked with your essence.

“It’s been so long, huh, baby?” He draws soothing circles around your clothed clit, “You missed me here?” 

“Yes, yes,” you’re restless, moving against his hand, trying to bring yourself more pleasure. “Please, Eren, please, I can’t wait any longer.”

“You won’t have to, baby, I promise.” And even if he didn’t, his erection was beginning to feel more painful than pleasurable. He needed to be inside you.

“I have to make you cum first, though.” He says firmly, “I need you to cum on my tongue.”

“No, just- please, can we do that later? I just, I need-“

“No.” And then you feel his tongue on your clit, and you have to put your hands against your mouth to stop yourself from moaning too loudly. He’s always been so, so good at eating you out, always taking his time with it, until you were creaming inside his mouth, trying to get away from him from how sensitive he’d made you after cumming so many times. 

When he pushes his middle finger in, you start losing your mind. 

“Oh fuck, you’re drenched. Do you want another one?” 

He was such a good fucking talker, too. 

“Do it, do it, please-“

And that, he did, moving them in and out of you, then spitting on his other hand so it could go up to your breast and rub around your nipple. The combination, needless to say, makes you cum within seconds. 

Your whole body tenses as you let out a strained moan of his name, the strength of your orgasm leaving you completely breathless. It’s the kind of orgasm you feel on your fingertips, the type that makes every touch to your body electrifying.  

“I’m sorry, baby, I just couldn’t help it.” You faintly hear Eren’s voice, accompanied by the sound of clothes rustling that you believe are his. When you finally have the strength to look down, you see his beautiful, naked body before you, his cock finally free from its contentment. It’s a sight for sore eyes, and yours sure were that. His mouth shines with your liquids, and you don’t know why you’re blushing, as if you didn’t have this man’s child. He smiles down at you before he starts rubbing his tip at your entrance, hissing from how wet you are.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He says, so gently, as if he’s not about to rock your whole world. “It hurt missing you so much.”

You want to kiss him in that moment, tell him it’s going to be fine, that you still love him, but you’re deprived of that opportunity when he pushes in, stretching your walls because of how big he is. Even though you were prepped, it still stung a little, and you think Eren knows because his strokes are slow and gentle, easing his way inside you.

“You feel amazing.” He whispers as he brings himself down to give you a sloppy kiss, your moans synchronising as he moves inside you. Your hands roam around his strong back, unconsciously pulling him down so you can feel him deeper.

“You want it harder, baby?” He asks between kisses, and you nod frantically, like it’s the only thing you will ever want in your life. When he begins to fuck you in a hastier pace, filling you up to the brim, he has to put his palm in front of your mouth so you don’t wake your sleeping daughter up.

“Shh, I know, I feel it too,” he has a hard time controlling himself as well, your pussy sucking him in so deliciously, he thinks he can stay like this forever. “Look at your tits bouncing. Just- if you could see yourself right now. You’re unreal.”

His words go to one place and one place only, making it even more pleasurable when he hits your spot over and over again.

“Rub your clit.” He instructs, sounding more and more out of breath. “I want you to cum with me.”

You do as you’re told, your fingers working on your sensitive bud as Eren stands back on his knees, his abs flexing with every move of his hips. He was becoming sloppier, like he was losing control of his rhythm, his fingers plunged into the fat of your ass as he moved you onto his dick. 

“Rub them faster.” He groans, “I’m so fucking close.”

“Oh, god!” Your body bounces on the mattress as you feel the nearing rush of your second orgasm approaching. “It’s coming, I’m- oh fuck, I’m gonna-“

“Me too, shit, shit, I love you,”, he fucks you through both your orgasms, lips swallowing your desperate moans, with a little tear rolling down your face from all the stimulation and his confession. No matter how many times you heard it, it still pulled an emotional reaction out of you.

When Eren’s hips come to a halt, he doesn’t pull out immediately, choosing to stay close to you and pepper your neck and shoulders with open-mouthed kisses. You’re spent, trying to catch your non-existing breath as your hand rubs gentle circles around your lover’s back. 

“I still can’t believe this happened.”

You smile against his ruffled hair, “Well, you better believe it because you just fucked the shit out of me.”

Your laughters fill the bedroom air, making the atmosphere lighter after the emotional rollercoaster that was the past hour. Eren cradles your face in his hands, and you just can’t imagine being any less happy than you are in this moment, “I’m never, ever letting you go again. Understand?” His voice is firm yet filled with a warmth that resonates with every beat of your heart.

You gaze into Eren's eyes, seeing the determination and love that shine back at you. His declaration, so full of certainty, wraps around you like a comforting embrace.

"I wouldn’t want you to," you reply, reaching your hand up to caress his cheek. "But we have to promise each other something, Eren. We have to promise that we'll communicate, be honest, and work through things together. No running, no hiding—just us, facing everything as a team."

Eren nods, the seriousness of your words not lost on him. "I told you, I’ll do whatever it takes.", and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he means it.

You lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, a seal to the vows you've just exchanged. It's a kiss that speaks of new beginnings, of forgiveness, and of the love that has weathered the storm.

Eren nestles his head against your chest, finding solace in the steady thrum of your heartbeat, while your fingers tenderly weave through his hair, caressing him with every affectionate stroke.

“What will we tell your mini-you?”

“That I slept on the couch. She’ll be so happy she won’t even care about anything else.”

You let out a chuckle, “That, she will be.”

And as you fall asleep in each others arms, the world outside fades into insignificance. The comfort of Eren's weight against you, the gentle rise and fall of his breathing, and the softness of his hair beneath your fingertips are the only realities that matter. That will ever matter.

…..

A/N: I’m having a writer’s strike and this is what came out of it. It.. surely takes a turn lol. But what is love without a little angst😅 byeee

#eren smut #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren fluff #eren jaeger #eren jaeger fluff #eren angst #eren jaeger angst

[bluecollarmcandtf]

"Dude, I took over your dad's body.."

"...and goddamn is there a lot of him to work with! I've been a ghost for years now, but I've never been inside a 6' 3" ex-linebacker! I've been checking him out all afternoon, and let me tell you that this man is big and hairy all over," he punctuates his comment with a wink.

Your dad, the man you've looked up to your entire life, is saying things you don't want to think about while casually laying on the couch in nothing but a robe and booty shorts. The urge to puke is suppressed, but you know that Jimmy has crossed a line here. Your deceased friend has possessed bullies, professors, and more, but he's never had the balls to take over your own family. What was he thinking?

"I jumped into him while he was at work. I think his coworkers probably found it strange when I picked up his briefcase and waddled his ass out the door," Jimmy chuckles at the memory, "But don't worry. Your old man had plenty of sick days he wasn't gonna use."

It doesn't take long for you to burst out in anger at the spirit controlling your father. Your face is hot, and you can't stand to watch your dad get puppetted around like a fool!

"Calm the fuck down!" he swears uncharacteristically, "Give this big guy a hug. Come here. Daddy needs some love..."

The thought of hugging your father while he's being forced to act like this feels wrong, but you relent. A part of you is glad for the embrace. It might not actually be your dad, but paternal comfort is exactly what you need right now, and your real dad isn't the type to give his child a hug.

"That's it, son," Jimmy pets your head with your father's thick hands, "Let daddy take care of you. Let your dumb old fart-of-a-father give you some much-needed attention."

You can't help but chuckle at the self-deprecating joke. Your real dad was too proud to laugh at himself, and he'd never made an effort to be anything other than distant and formal with you. In fact, there was a lot your real dad would never do; he'd never leave the office in the middle of the day, he'd never lay around the house like a lazy bum, and he'd certainly never let his hairy chest and thick legs be on full display in front of his disappointing gay son.

Suddenly, while still embraced, you realize there's something poking into your waist.

"Sorry, dude," your father whispers in your ear, "I guess your dad is just happy to see you."

You push him away, insisting that Jimmy needs to stay out of family members' bodies because this just feels so wrong! You search the pair of unnaturally blank eyes for any sign that Jimmy might be listening to you.

"You need to relax, bro," your dad (Jimmy) groans in annoyance. He looks disappointed, but then he sparks up and gives you a new look of excitement. "Son," he says with exaggerated machismo, "Take a page from my book and learn to chill out. It doesn't matter what the world thinks about you or me. I'll prove it to you..."

With a placid grin and blank gaze, your father lumbers past and marches straight out the front door of the house. You're almost too stunned to follow. Was Jimmy really going to parade your dad's body around the neighborhood in nothing but his robe?

"Afternoon, neighbor," your father's rumbling tone bellows across the street, "Lovely weather, today. My son thought I should take my fat hairy gut for a little stroll in the sun. You know us dads have got to keep our boys happy. Am I right?"

Mr. Jones stares at your father from his porch, just as shocked as you are. He often drank beers with this man and every other neighborhood dad at backyard barbecues and living room game watches. This was not how he normally interacted with the man, and it obviously struck him as weird.

"You alright, Bob?" he asks hesitantly.

"Right as rain, neighbor!" Jimmy answers with a tone that's too goofy to pass as my dad's, "If that's how you're staring at me now, I wonder what'll happen if I take this robe off..."

Before Mr. Jones can process the flirtation in your father's voice, you shuffle your dad further down the street and away from the whole interaction. That may have been hilarious, but Jimmy was going to destroy any reputation and respect your father had around here!

You demand to know where Jimmy is going with this body. It's not like you have any ability to even slow the ghost down when he's got the weight and strength of your 200 lb father.

"I'm thinking the park. Your dad could use some cardio," he smirks, an unfamiliar expression on the grown man's face, "Or maybe the public bathroom on the north end. You know, it has that hole in the stall..."

No amount of reasoning or arguments can change Jimmy's mind. Apparently he's set on wearing your father to the city's most notorious gay hookup spot.

"Don't look at me like that," his gravelly voice sounds amused by your frustration, "With me in charge, your dad will be the dirtiest slut that bathroom's ever seen. Don't you think it'll be funny to see such a massive, manly bear serving man after man in there?"

You sigh in disbelief.

"Or...maybe I don't have to rent out your dad's body to a bunch of strangers..."

You wonder where he's going with this. It sounds like an ultimatum is coming, and you don't like the idea of your crazy dead friend giving you an ultimatum.

"...your dad could hold off on bottoming for strangers...if...you let him be your submissive little bitch."

The choice is an annoying one, but you're pretty sure you can't let your dad have unprotected sex with strangers in a public place. This is what he'd want right?

"That's what I thought," the grin on your father's face twists maniacally. He tussles your hair like he's the proudest dad in the world, "Let's head on back home, buddy. Daddy's gonna lick every inch of sweat off that body of yours. He's got years of emotional absence to make up for."

One of his beefy arms cradles your back and turns you around. You're relieved to no longer be headed towards the public bathroom, but you're still a little nervous about what awaits you at home. How does Jimmy expect you to enjoy any of this when it's your dad doing all these things to you?

"Daddy's gonna treat you to a night that's all about you," he goes on, "Cooking you dinner, rubbing your feet, cuddling on the couch, and so much more. I want you to think of some humiliating things daddy can do for you while we walk back. Make sure they're extra degrading or your dad will just have to step out of the house and degrade himself where the entire city can see..."

The last comment gives you butterflies in your stomach, but it also gives you a bit of a hard-on. Maybe Jimmy playing with your dad wasn't so scary of an idea after all. With him possessed, anything was on the table: personal affirmations, some much needed bonding, roleplay, revenge, humiliation. Heck, you could even give your father a golden shower and Jimmy would have him smiling through it!

Walking home, you steal glances at your dad, towering over you as his rotund gut leads the way. Home can't come fast enough!

#gay dad and son #male possession #gay dad bod #male mind control #body swap #gay fatty

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

Today's @wolfstarmicrofic is a Roommate AU!

(872 words.)

James is slowly going mad.

No, not even slowly. He's fallen straight into madness, and he doesn't know how to save himself.

When Sirius asked if one of his course mates, Remus Lupin, could move in for a while, of course, he said yes. Remus had been going through something, and James is always happy to help. Not only that, but Remus is bloody brilliant. He went from being shy, fairly withdrawn, to a hilarious, witty person who James is happy to call his friend.

Sirius clearly doesn't just want to call Remus his friend.

James doesn't think he can watch the two of them practically undressing each other with their eyes at breakfast, accidentally reaching for the same thing and blushing like idiots while they apologise, or trying their hand at fucking awful flirting. It's getting painful, the clear fact that they've fallen for one another right in front of them, while they dance around it like they've never been certain of anything less in their lives.

To be perfectly honest, James is starting to wonder if he should just lock them both in a room and-

"S'fine, I don't care," Sirius' voice cuts through James' thought process as he steps out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. James looks up just in time to watch Remus following behind him hurriedly. So quickly that he almost walks directly into Sirius when he stops and turns around to face him. "I'm not carrying you through the project just because you forgot you had shit to do, though. You can do your part later."

"When have I not done my work, Sirius? Christ, at this point I thought you'd trust me. I already apologised for forgetting!"

"Mhm, and I've already said I don't care. Go have fun on your date, Remus," Sirius says back, just a hint of bitterness settling in his words. It really does sound like he cares.

Remus must be thinking the same thing, because he walks out without saying another word. Sirius immediately heads to the fridge, dropping his head against the door and letting his shoulders slump with a sigh.

"Oh, Sirius, you're a fucking idiot," Sirius groans to himself under his breath. James chuckles.

"Agreed."

"Jesus buggering Christ!" Sirius jumps a mile, practically falling into the counter as he whips his head around to face James. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Long enough to watch that trainwreck," James answers simply. For some reason, Sirius seems to decide that it's the perfect time to play dumb.

"What d'you mean? It's fine, Remus is just..."

"Going on a date," James fills in. "With someone who isn't you. Which, by the way, is really bloody stupid of him, so at least you've got that in common."

"No, that's not- I don't..."

All James needs to do is arch an eyebrow, and Sirius' shoulders slump.

"Okay, fine, yeah. I really like him."

"No, really?" James asks sarcastically. At Sirius' unamused look, he keeps talking. "Sirius, I'm not being funny, you should see the way he looks at you when you're not looking. Or even when you are, actually. I'm surprised you haven't seen it! You should have asked him out months ago."

"God, I've really fucked it up, haven't I?" Sirius groans, scrubbing a face over his hand. "I wanted to tell him ages ago, I swear! It's just, he-" Sirius drops down into the chair opposite James, eyes fixed on his hands. "He was going through a lot, and then I was asking him if he wanted to move in before I knew what I was saying! How am I meant to tell him anything when he's living in the same flat as me? That could go so wrong, James. I could literally ruin everything!"

Okay, James is at a loss for words. That's... a lot, and Sirius is clearly stressed out. He opts for reaching across the small table and squeezing Sirius' shoulder. Before he can say anything comforting, though, a rustle comes from the door. Someone's trying to get in, and if they have a key, they're really struggling to use it.

Sirius walks over to the door with a confused frown, pulling it open to find Remus, key held out and a stunned expression on his face. James watches the two of them hesitate in front of one another for a moment.

"Remus? What-?"

Before he can say another word, Remus expression fixes to one that James can only describe as determined, before he surges forward and connects his and Sirius' lips. Sirius staggers backwards for a moment, caught by Remus hands sliding around his waist as he reaches his own up to the nape of Remus' neck.

James doesn't know whether or not he should be averting his eyes. Thankfully, they decide that for him, Remus pulling away and starting to speak hurriedly.

"I got halfway down the street and realised that I was being so fucking stupid. I really like you, Sirius. I have for so long, and I guess I thought maybe a date would help me get over it but, God, all I wanted to do was come back here and see you, so..."

Okay, so they're both idiots.

Still, by the look on Sirius' face, he has a feeling that they're finally getting their act together.

#this almost turned into a looong oneshot #it just made me so happy to write lmfao #wolfstar #sirius black #wolfstar oneshot #marauders #remus lupin #remus x sirius #young marauders #moony x padfoot #atyd marauders #marauders oneshot

[charlithepuppeteer]

school bus graveyard incorrect quotes pt. 1

Ashlynn: What's two plus two?

Aiden: Math.

Ashlynn: ...I will accept that answer.

_______________________________________________

Logan: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

_______________________________________________

Logan: *talking about Aiden’s funeral* You do know we’re burying a great person today!

Tyler, shocked: Did someone else die?

_______________________________________________

Ashlynn: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing!

Tyler: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza?

Ashlynn: Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate.

Aiden: I like you.

_______________________________________________

Logan: *working in a flower shop and minding their own business*

Tyler, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???

_______________________________________________

Taylor: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

Ben, typing: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

Aiden: Tyler bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but they’re WRONG.

_______________________________________________

Aiden: Am I going to far?

Taylor: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

_______________________________________________

Aiden: Comparing Taylor and phantoms is like comparing apples and oranges.

Taylor: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Aiden: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

phantoms: Which one of us is the orange?

(I think we all know the answer to that)

_______________________________________________

Aiden: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio!

_______________________________________________

Aiden: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Ashlynn: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Aiden: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Ashlynn: Somehow that's worse.

_______________________________________________

*While planning to break in somewhere*

Aiden: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"

Ashlynn: What?

Aiden: "Get Help."

Ashlynn: No.

Aiden: C'mon, you love it!

Ashlynn: I hate it.

Aiden: It's great! It works every time!

Ashlynn: It's humiliating.

Aiden: Do you have a better plan?

Ashlynn: No.

Aiden: We're doing it!

Ashlynn: We are not doing "Get Help!"

*A Minute Later*

Aiden, carrying Ashlynn: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Ashlynn at guards, knocking them out*

Aiden: Ahh, classic!

Ashlynn: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating.

Aiden, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

(aww~. couple banter)

_______________________________________________

Aiden: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

_______________________________________________

Aiden: School sucks.

Ashlynn: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job.

Aiden: What are jobs like?

Ashlynn: They suck.

_______________________________________________

Aiden: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

_______________________________________________

Aiden: *slams books down in front of Aiden*

Aiden: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Ashlynn: You could of said literally anything else.

Aiden: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Ashlynn: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

#school bus graveyard #Ashlynn banner #Aiden Clark #Ben Clark #Taylor Hernandez #Tyler Hernandez #Logan Fields #Aiden and Ashlyn in love #they are blind

[stromuprisahat]

Second Army disorganization

Siege and Storm- Chapter 14

One of the most frustrating and famously nonsensical passages of Grisha trilogy, easily explained through doylist approach- the author's inability to write strategy or politics and demands of the genre, requiring a weak, unfit heroine to defeat immensely powerful opponent way out of her league:

Alina: Oh no, they dare to oppose me again! :(

Isn't that why would you want to establish a council in the first place? So you get constructive criticism and suggestions to do things better?!

My objections to the notion Alina came up with representation of Grisha can't be more obvious:

Army is a structured organization. There are ranks and councils by default. No amount of ignorant teens will persuade me calling it "Second" makes it otherwise.

Any big organization has a structure. Even if Second Army were only about education, there would be councils and posts on different levels. Hell, school system works that way.

Alina: I'm gonna have the useless ones represented, because we're not doing things like the Darkling, but that doesn't mean I'll respect them myself or abandon my prejudices. Fucking nerds. Weidos...

Another YA nonsense- you cannot put people into categories based on their physical predispositions, and expect the mental ones to fit accordingly. You can have a huge, muscled guy, skilled in delicate handiwork. You can have a tiny wisp of a girl beating the living shit out of you (popular trope by itself).

Now why should sensitivity to metals get you a spot in labs, if you're a strategic genius? Or incredibly skilled, witty rhetorician? Isn't it more likely you'd be required to complete basic training to stay healthy and prevent accidentally endangering others, while being assigned to whatever you're most useful at?

And what about those weak or less intelligent ones? Are they bringing coffee and arranging entertainment?!

It also fits this fan interpretation, that Materialki are often neuro-divegent, so they are tend to be kept away from battle for their own sake.

Alina wasn't involved in practical running of Second Army before. Just because she doesn't know about something, it's not a totally fresh idea.

I'd be afraid of a girl, who almost murdered a bunch of people for asking questions, too.

At this point, I'm gonna run with the idea that all the older Grisha are torn between face-palming and silently laughing their assess off (so Alina doesn't overhear and her clique doesn't resort to violence).

“But what do they do in there?” I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to hear the answer. “Only the Corporalki know. But there are rumors that they’ve been working with the Fabrikators on new … experiments.”

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 8

... and that says nothing about the field, or the little groups in noble houses. People tend to stick together with their own, when in strange enviroment. I'm sure such bonds dissolve immediately after their return "home".

I've also delved a little into the sitting order here.

A few lines earlier, Alina noted Materialki didn't show up to complain. Who is so horrified then?! Not them, for sure.

Ironically, this fits into Fabricator-brain theory linked above AND the most logical explanation- Materialki have basic self-defense training, but only those, who are able to, continue. Alina isn't particularly friendly with any of them, so how would she know no one had EVER bothered to teach them? Alright, there are none in her class, but as far as we know, it consists of a Squaller, an Inferni and a Heartrender. Not the most saying sample.

Having a third of all Grisha helpless doesn't fit into the picture of Aleksander's leadership:

“That’s what Botkin always says. ‘Not showy, just to make pain,’” I said, imitating the mercenary’s heavy accent. “Smart guy.” “The Darkling doesn’t think Grisha should rely on their powers for defense.”

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 17

You don't have to become another Bruce Lee, you only need a chance, when they drag you out of bed in the middle of the night.

What tradition?

This is rather well-written group of angry, disorganized people. It might start with a reasonable goal, but soon everyone talks about something else than others, and the message gets lost in the noise.

Tradition doesn't equal "the way things are done". Neither of them is the same as "the need for structure and people knowing their places". The third one is a legitimate concern, although one could argue it's exactly what Alina's attempting.

This whole scene very much reads like:

The author is desperate to prove the Heroine isn't quite useless- she has good ideas! Look! *whacks a hundreds of years old stategist and survivor par excellence with stupid stick*

#Grishaverse #S&S Chapter 14 #The Darkling #Alina Starkov #Second Army #Materialki #grishanalyticritical #Second pseudoArmy #S&B Chapter 8 #S&B Chapter 17 #meme #V #Siege and Storm #Grisha trilogy #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo #anti Leigh Bardugo

[compassionatereminders]

Dear Kat, I've been following you for some time and wanted to ask for your perspective on a subject that's been on my mind lately: euthanasia. (If you'd rather not answer this, you may delete it.)

I recently learned from the news that a woman from the Netherlands, Zoraya ter Beek, plans to die next month because she could no longer bear living with her mental pain. She was reported to be depressed, autistic, with borderline personality disorder. And as I dug deeper into it, I found even more stories of women like her seeking and obtaining assisted suicide. Over and over again, the testimony from the women and their families indicated that it was better if they died.

Needless to say, this was highly distressing to find out, as someone who is also autistic and has dealt with anxiety and depression off and on since I was 13. I've been bullied for the former even before I got my diagnosis and was fired twice in a row because of it. Now I'm seeking a career change and I'm running into the same fears. What if my current employer decides I'm not good enough no matter how hard I work, all because of this thing I can't change? Is this rejection going to follow me for the rest of my life, no matter where I go?

If I recall correctly, you're from the Netherlands, and you strongly believe in supporting bodily autonomy. Should the right to this autonomy include self harm, even suicide?

No, I am not in any current danger in that regard. I want very much to live and educate. My issue is that so many people like me are choosing to end their lives, and the people around them seem to be encouraging it.

I'm not from the Netherlands and euthanasia isn't legal where I live. That being said, I am highly critical of the countries which are implementing euthanasia programs for various disabled individuals while simultaneously cutting down on resources and programs which would allow said disabled people to live full lives while being disabled. I do not think the solution to disabled people suffering immensely in this society is euthanasia, and especially in places where there aren't adequate opportunities for disabled people to actually live full lives, I am actually very critical of offering euthanasia as a solution. Not because I want people who don't want to be here to be forced to suffer, but because it seems like making euthanasia avaliable frees governments and health care systems from making sure other options are actually accessible and adequate. So while ideologically I am in favor of people's right to bodily autonomy, even when used for self harm, I think legalizing and effectualizing euthanasia in this kind of society is very likely to be a slippery slope and an excuse not to invest in disabled people beyond allowing us the freedom to die.

#chat with kat #euthanasia tw #eugenics tw #death tw #suicide tw #self harm tw #bullying tw

[al1v3-p03ts-s0ci3ty]

One shot idea: Neil (or Todd) admitting to the other that they like them

(THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SO SORRY-)

Thank you so much for the ask!!! I haven't written much lately so this was a nice start! This ideas been sitting in my notes app for a while so thank you for getting me to finally write it!!

[Authors note! This is set in the 90s. There are mentions of Welton but just imagine that the timeline got shifted up a bit. They're all in their mid 20s. Also the cat name Allen IS based off of that super cool fruity poet Allen Ginsberg.]

Cramped in a small apartment full of boxes that seemed to pile to the ceiling, Neil and Charlie sat on the scratchy carpet of their new home.

They'd spent their whole morning moving box after box from the U-Haul truck, up 3 flights of stairs and finally into their apartment.

"Once we're done moving all this stuff maybe we could have a housewarming?" Neil said, taking big breaths between words. Both Neil and Charlie were completely exhausted from carrying things around all day.

"Maybe we could get the guys to do all the unpacking for us." Charlie joked, although there was a hint of seriousness in his voice.

Neil chuckled at his friends joke and a short silence followed.

"Do you think it was the right thing to do?" Neil's voice was quiet.

"What?"

"To move out, I mean... I know it's for the best and I should just move on..."

There was a pause. "But?" His friend chuckled sort of awkwardly trying to break the tension.

"I'm just gonna miss him." Neil responded, his tone was completely genuine and if you listened carefully you could hear his voice break.

Of course, they were talking about their friend Todd.

Neil and Todd had been inseparable since the day they met in Welton Academy. They spent every waking moment in each others company, they shared a room together, they had classes together, they went to Dead Poets meetings together.

Now, Neil had developed a crush on Todd during this time, and as much as he'd like to say "it's not a big deal" or "it was just a small crush" he'd be lying.

After a long talk with Charlie about his feelings for Todd they both decided that maybe he should move out. He'd spent a long time living with Todd, maybe it was time for a change?

"Well of course you're gonna miss him! You've been in love with him since the day you two met, that's not gonna be easy to get over-" Charlie wasn't even able to finish his thought before Neil cut him off.

"I'm not in love I just-" He couldn't possibly sound more defensive if he tried.

"Look, Neil." There was a short pause before Charlie spoke again, he needed to think of the right words. "You wanna get over him, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Then you're gonna spend some time apart from him..." He turned to face his friend. "If I'm being honest... I always just assumed he felt the same way about you."

"Don't do that, Char."

"Hey, I'm just being honest." Charlie's words came out in an unusually transparent tone.

/////

Finally, they had their place set up. Their apartment had an open floorplan with a small living room and kitchen that was separated by a short bar and stools. There was a hall that connected their bedrooms and bathroom to the living room.

A small couch, coffee table, tv. They tried to make it as homely as possible given that they'd only lived there for a few days. And it worked for the most part.

"When are they supposed to be here?" Charlie asked from behind the kitchen bar, he was watching the packet of popcorn turn in the microwave.

Neil glanced towards the clock they hung above the front door, it was 6pm. "Around now... Maybe they're just running late?"

And then, almost comically, someone knocked the door. Charlie seemed unphased by the sound and made no effort to answer the door. He was such a great host.

Neil pulled the door open. There was already a smile already plastered on his face before he saw his friend's.

They hugged then exchanged greetings and complimented the pair on the new apartment despite the fact that they barely had time to properly decorate, there were still a few boxes here and there.

"Hey." Todd was the last one in the room. Everyone else had gone into the living room and were making themselves at home. But for now it was just Neil and Todd in the doorway.

"Hey..."

There was chatter coming from the living room but the sound seemed fuzzy from where the pair were standing in the hall. Neil definitely wasn't paying attention, especially with Todd right in front of him.

"Oh!" Todd rummaged through his tote bag and pulled out a book, it had post it tabs sticking out the sides as though it had been annotated. "Here." He handed the book to Neil.

"Thanks..." Neil takes the book in his hands and glanced down at it for a moment.

"I forgot to give it back to you after I borrowed it, and then... Well you moved out..."

It was a small copy of The Great Gatsby, ironically though Neil related to the main character as they both had friends in their lives that they had sort of a 'gay yearning' for. Though, neither of them would ever really admit it.

"It was good!" He began. "It was really good." Although Todd was obviously excited to talk about the book, he still spoke in his usual quiet voice. "Daisy was my favourite character by far."

"I knew you'd love her." Neil said, glancing back up at Todd from the book with a smile on his face.

Now that the other boys had settled into the apartment they were, rather loudly, discussing what they should do together.

"Monopoly?" Pitts asked.

Charlie shook his head. "No way, Pittsie."

"Why not?"

"It's too basic. We should play a more exciting game...hmmm."

Neil lightheartedly rolled his eyes before making his own way into the room with Todd. 'Typical Charlie.' He thought. It was obvious Charlie knew what he wanted to play yet he was making everyone wait, he was so dramatic. 'Maybe he should join the theatre.'

Then, suddenly, Charlie's face lit up. "Twister!"

/////

After a too long game of Twister and a few rounds of Uno, Todd was exhausted. Beside him on the couch was Neil, it took everything in him to not lean against his friend and rest his head on his shoulder.

The group was laughing about something, Todd couldn't tell what exactly it was, he was just so tired. The only thing on his mind at this point (beside Neil) was going home and getting some sleep.

God knows what the time was by now. His eyelids were heavy and he had to stop himself from leaning back against the couch and passing out. Neil noticed, obviously.

"You doing okay?" He whispered. His voice was barely audible in comparison to the other boys.

All Todd could do was nod.

"Tired?" There was a sweet smile on Neil's lips.

That smile... Todd could feel his cheeks getting warm. He nodded again. "Just a little..." He replied with a yawn.

Neil's laugh was the sweetest sounding thing you could ever dream of hearing... Or at least that's what Todd thought. "Just a little? You look like you're gonna fall asleep."

Todd lazily shakes his head, earning another laugh from Neil

"You can stay the night if you want... That might be easier than taking the bus."

"Really?" Why did Todd sound so surprised? Of course Neil would let him stay the night, he wouldn't make Todd take the bus alone, especially so late.

"Of course!" Neil smiled wide.

/////

Once the other boys had left and the only remaining people in the apartment were Charlie, Neil and Todd, Neil gave his friend a tour of the new apartment. It didn't take long as the apartment was relatively small and Todd had already been there for a few hours, however, he did like humouring Neil. He was always so theatrical.

"This is where you'll be staying." He said while mimicking some kind of fancy host, it made Todd laugh.

The room was small but cosy nonetheless. Theatre posters in frames lined the walls, he had a vanity that he used as a desk and there was a strip of photo booth pictures of Todd and Neil tucked between the mirror and the frame. Todd tried so hard to seem unphased by it, though his rosy cheeks gave him away.

He had a bookshelf that was more than full already, the middle of the shelves were sagging under the weight of the many, many plays and novels he owned.

Of course there was a box or two in the corner, Neil hadn't had time to move many of his smaller things into the room yet.

"You sure I can stay the night in here?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you can."

Neil left the room to give Todd some privacy as he got changed. Todd couldn't help but look around at the room. He was so used to all these things being in Neil's room- 'his old room.' Todd corrected himself- in their apartment, but now they were here.

He put on his fluffy pyjama pants and an old loose shirt before he made himself comfortable on Neil's bed.

Soon after, Neil came into the room wearing different clothes, clothes that Todd had seen him wear before. Now he was getting nostalgic, Neil had only moved out a week ago.

"Hey!" Neil said. 'He looks so cute when he smiles.' Todd thought.

"Hey..." Todd replied in a whisper.

"You comfortable?" Neil joked. "You can sleep there, I'll be on the couch."

"What?" Todd sounded offended on the behalf of his friend.

"What?"

"You can't sleep on the couch, Neil- this is your room. Y-you should sleep in here."

Neil shook his head. "You're my guest. You should have the bed."

"But it's your apartment."

Neil was still stood in the doorway and Todd was still sat on the bed. Suddenly the energy in the room shifted, like there was something lingering under the surface of their conversation, something important and unspoken.

"Well you're already on the bed, Todd." Neil chuckled. Quickly though, Todd got up, stumbling a little at the speed at which he stood.

"Neil, I'm not letting you sleep on the couch."

"Well I guess we'll both just have to sleep on the couch then." Neil joked, though Todd didn't laugh, and just like that the air was tense.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch."

There was another pause between the two and they were both facing each other directly now.

"Then... I guess we'll just have to share the bed." Neil suggested, mostly joking. Key word being 'mostly'.

"Yeah..." Todd replied, his voice came out soft and quiet. "M-maybe we will..."

It's not like this would be the first time they shared a bed. Some of those nights at Welton got cold and those blankets were barely enough to shield one person from the temperature. Besides, it's not like anything was going to happen...

/////

Todd sat comfortably at the head of Neil's bed, the pillows and cushions had been distributed between the two and they had propped them up behind them like makeshift backrests. Their hushed laughter filled the room.

"You're kidding." Neil said, in a playful tone.

Todd shook his head and even though he was still laughing he spoke with complete certainty. "I'm not."

"Allen really misses me?" Neil sounded somewhat surprised. Even though they had adopted the cat together some time ago it still surprised him that their cat could miss him.

"Of course he does."

"Well I guess if he misses me so much then I'll just have to move back in." Although he was being sarcastic, there was a trace of truth in his voice. Maybe he would have to move back in for their cat... And no other reason.

Todd let out a brief chuckle. The apartment was a lot quieter now and it was nearing the early hours of the morning and they had to keep their voices down. "So you'd move back in for the cat but not for me?" He joked but he still managed to sound somewhat offended.

"Oh come on..." Neil paused and took a moment to look up at Todd from across the other side of his bed. "You know I'd do anything for you, Todd."

Todd averted his gaze, he'd rather look anywhere else than look at Neil right now. He could feel his cheeks heat up, maybe he could just blame it on the temperature of the room, maybe Neil wouldn't even notice. Todd wanted to change the subject, he didn't want to talk about Neil being gone anymore, but he just couldn't get it off his mind.

"It's weird not having you around the apartment anymore..."

"It's only been a week." Todd could practically hear the smile on Neil's face, he was always smiling about something or another when they were together.

"Well... It's been a long week."

Now this was silence. Not exactly awkward or even anxious, but something else. Something remained between the two of them.

"Your room’s nice." Todd finally deflected the conversation onto something else, something easy to talk about.

"I-" Neil began. He could read Todd, and if he was going to change a conversation topic it must've been for a good reason. "You think so?"

"It's... Very you."

Neil chuckled. "I kinda figured that it's always been 'very me'. It is still all my stuff after all."

"Right- no- yeah-... You know what I mean." Todd shook his head, he was laughing with Neil now.

"I get what you're saying. It is a little different." Neil glanced around his room as if it had been the first time he's ever seen it. He began mentally nitpicking at the changes he'd made.

"Oh?"

"Well for one," he started, "that huge cat scratching post isn't in here anymore."

"Yeah..." Todd looked around now too, he was picking up on the subtle things that were different about the room that used to be so familiar to him, silently missing the things that Neil had left in his old room.

"It's different without Allen, that's for sure, it's quiet." He chuckled. "And it's different without you constantly being in here-"

"I wasn't constant..."

Neil playfully rolled his eyes at his friend's disagreement. "It sooo was." Todd only responded by shaking his head with a disbelieving look on his face. "You were in my room all the time."

"Well... It'll be good to have this new space, right? And I'll have the apartment to myself." Todd was more talking to himself than talking to Neil, almost like he was trying to convince himself that Neil moving out was going to be good for them.

"I'll miss you being in here so often... It'll be so quiet."

"You're living with Charlie, it's definitely not gonna be quiet." Both boys laughed to themselves. It's like the world outside this room had stopped and they were the only two people in the world.

"Yeah." He continued to laugh. "I guess you're right."

"It might be a good change of pace?"

"Maybe..." Neil only half agreed. "I'll miss the quiet though... I'll miss you."

Their eyes met and Todds heart skipped a beat. "I'll miss you too..."

The room went quiet again. "We should probably get some sleep." He said awkwardly, breaking the tension. Now it was Neil who was deflecting and trying to change the subject. He got off the bed and started haphazardly moving the pillows and adjusting the sheet beneath them, not necessarily doing anything but just trying to make himself look busy.

"Neil...?"

Neil felt his world stop for Todd in that moment.

"Yeah?"

"Did... Did I d-do something wrong?" Todd asked, his voice was quiet, almost like he didn't want Neil to hear him.

"What?"

"To make you want to move out... Did I do something wrong?"

Neil shook his head profusely. "No way. Todd you're the best roommate anyone could ask for."

There was a pause, Todd wasn't sure if he should leave the conversation there or not, but he was curious.

Finally, he asked. "Then what was it?" It was inevitable that Todd would ask Neil this question sooner or later.

Neil sighed, he had to make up something. "I thought it would be better to get out of the apartment, ya know?"

But Todd just looked up at him from the bed, unmoving. It was obvious that Todd didn't believe him.

"I thought it might help me..." Neil took a deep breath as if he was bracing himself. "I didn't want anything to come between us." He said about as much as he could without giving himself away.

Todd shook his head. "What do you mean?"

"It's just..." He sighed. How could he possibly explain this? "It's not a big deal."

"Then why can't you tell me?"

The air was thick and the pauses they took between talking felt like eternities.

"I didn't want anything to change between us, that's all." Now it was Neil who had turned his gaze away from Todd.

"Why would anything change?"

"I kind of..." He took another deep breath, his lungs filled with the cold night air that poured through his half open window. "Had a small... Crush on you while we were living together." He barely even glanced at Todd after he said this, he wished he could read Todd and tell just how he felt.

He had about a million questions for Neil but all he could manage to choke out was-

"W-what?"

"It was just a small crush really, it was barely anything." He stuttered and stumbled over each word, with every sentence he let out he felt like he was letting out more and more that he couldn't take back.

"You... You m-moved out because you had a crush on me?"

"Yeah...." He nodded briefly before turning to Todd.

"But... you only moved out a week ago..."

The brunette nodded. He felt like there was a lump in his throat and a pit in his stomach.

"D-do you still... Feel like... That?"

Neil let out an awkward chuckle. "I guess so, yeah."

"You moved out to get over me?" Todd was still somewhat smiling, like he didn't believe it was true.

"Yeah." He nodded. Neil was a lot calmer now that it was out in the open. He thought this would've gone a lot worse than it did.

Todd let out a sigh of relief, which Neil immediately noticed.

He scanned Todd for any sign of discomfort or anger, though he didn't pick up on any. The only other time he'd felt this anxious was when his father showed up unexpectedly in the audience of a play he was in. But he'd rather not think about that.

"What?" Now that he was at ease he could finally do something besides just stand there and look anxious.

Todd dismissed the question by shaking his head, although he was still smiling. "It's just..." He lowered his voice. "I-I've gotten that advice before."

Neil just gave him a confused look.

"Meeks... He thought I should've m-moved out when I... Told him I liked you."

Neil went speechless, his mind was racing. It all made sense now, thinking back to all the times he even considered that Todd felt the same way about him. It all made sense.

"What?" Neil choked out as his lips formed a smile.

Todd reciprocated his smile. "Just before you moved out..."

The two boys shared a glance and the room seemed to shrink, pulling them closer together.

"Really?"

"...yeah."

"Charlie had his suspicions." Neil joked. He tried keeping the conversation light hearted, he knew that Todd didn't hold up well under stress.

"I thought it was so obvious-" Todd mumbled, he hid his face in his hands.

In hindsight it was incredibly obvious. It was ridiculous that they had no idea that the other had feelings for them until now.

"I... I guess I just never noticed before." Neil sat back down in his original position on the bed. "I thought I was the obvious one." He laughed.

"Really?" Todd's voice came out like a mouse, he peeked at Neil from behind his hands.

"Oh yeah!" He nodded reassuringly. "Remember all the valentines' I made you?"

"Oh my God-" The shorter boy covered his face with his hands again, embarrassed, his face flushed red. "I had no idea."

"Really? No idea?"

Todd silently shook his head in response.

Neil hadn't noticed his cheeks heating up until he saw himself in the mirror. His face was bright red and there was a sweet smile on his face. He never even dreamed that this day would come. Not only was he able to confess to the love of his life, but to hear Todd say in his own words that he reciprocated those feelings, it just meant the world to him. Maybe this was the beginning of something new?

Carpe Diem.

#my post #my fic #fanfic #fanfiction #dead poets society #neil perry #todd anderson #anderperry #dps #dps fic #dead poets society fanfiction #dead poets society fandom #charlie dalton #steven meeks #gerard pitts

[torra-and-the-toons]

I want to start off by saying thank you to all y'all who left nice messages and checked in on me lately, it means a lot that so many people care, and even if I didn't respond directly to you, I saw you and I appreciate you.

I've been in a rough spot mentally for a long time now, even before that kerfuffle, but it was this one little thing that just sent me spiraling downward. I over-reacted, when I really should have just ignored it and moved on, but with so much going on in my life, I just snapped.

I don't want to leave entirely, though. I still love to draw and share what I've done with people, it's been one of the few things the past few years that's brought me joy. And I definitely don't want to give up on the massive projects that I've worked so hard on.

I won't be as interactive. I've erased all pending requests and from now on, I'm sticking strictly to what I want to draw. Sorry to those whose requests I didn't get to. I've turned anon off and the likelihood of me answering headcanon-related questions is low.

All I ask is that if you see something you disagree with in my art or in something I say, please just ignore it. It's better for both of us if you do. Unfollow me, Block me, do whatever you need to create a safe space for yourself, I won't hold that against you. I'm really not out here with the intent to hurt anyone.

#torra rambles #personal shenaningans

[nocturnalazure]

Not-a-tutorial - Dialogues: Part II

Part 2 of the not-tutorial about how Noctie does dialogues!

Some of you know this already, but I do the shooting part first, then write the dialogues to go with the pictures that I got. It works best for me that way. I always always ask myself: what does the character want to convey here? What is the essential message? Answering that question helps me stripping out all the redundancies and unnecessary bits that would bog down my meaning. Also, I tend to find that short bits of dialogue going back and forth between characters make for a more realistic and dynamic conversation.

Talking about realism, I like showing small hesitations in a character's speech. We don't always speak in one breath. We pause, we stammer, we look for the right words,... So I choose carefully where to split my lines, in order to make them as meaningful as possible and to have the most impact on the reader (hopefully).

I use ellipsis (the three dots) to relay "visible silence". That is, when it is important to show that a character could talk but is very definitely not talking (either because they're holding back, or because they have too many thoughts at once, or the words don't come out, etc etc). I overuse those three dots, I just love meaningful silences.

I don't use any bubble at all for silences that are real silences (ie, the character is taken aback or is simply keeping quiet). It's more dramaaaaaatic that way!

Characters should ideally speak with different voices, but I know that's difficult to achieve. Besides some obvious extremes (I try not making my more cerebral characters speak the same way as the tougher, street-wise characters for example), I don't think I can get it right myself, mostly because English is not my native language and I don't master it well enough to be able to imitate a variety of accents and registers. So I try using other ways to individualize a character's way of talking, like speech mannerism or favorite expressions.

Erik's favorite swearword is very clearly "Goddammit". xD

Romeo uses Italian when he's frustrated (mostly interjections) or when he wants to make a point.

There are other easy ways to make a character's voice distinctive. Some will be quicker to crack a joke and others will have a stammer. Some will always be sulky, others will be particularly rude or polite. Their identity should somehow show through their way of speaking and addressing people.

Even if a graphic novel is very static, the way characters position themselves can say a lot about them too. The poses I select for each character can give an attentive reader some hints about their personality.

Again, I don't want to labor the point uselessly as everyone surely knows how to read a comic and I'm really not saying my way is the right way because it's not. I struggle a lot and I change my mind and try different things and there are a million things that I just don't do right. This speech bubble sort-of-guide is probably way too specific to be useful to anyone, and again, I don't believe I have enough expertise to pretend I know what I'm doing. I just really like the topic so consider it a ramble!

Thank you for reading this far! Hopefully that was at least interesting!

#ts3 #sims 3 #sims 3 story #sims 3 storytelling tips #random

[grimoire-of-geekery]

What is your advice for someone who can read tarot relatively okay for other people but is trash when it comes to reading for themself? (Cards dont make sense and literally every card is reversed despite careful shuffling to get a healthy mix of both upright and reversed cards)

*hugs* I know that frustration all too well.

Ok, so here are some things I say to everyone where tarot reading is concerned:

It's not just what the cards say, it's what they don't say. A tarot deck works by representing the whole world and all of the various turns and twists of fate people can experience. When Death shows up, but not the Ten of Swords, that's because you're dealing with Death, but not in the form of an ending. Likewise, if the Three of Coins appears and not the Eight, then your experience will reflect financial growth and demonstration of your mastery, rather than the learning of that skillset.

For this reason, I encourage diviners to adopt a different method for reading inversions than "the bad version of this card" or "the opposite." For the latter, there's already a card in the deck for any "opposite" meaning you could come up with. For the former... every card can be bad or good in the right circumstance. For myself, I use a method where the inverted cards are signs that the querent will have difficulty understanding that card, and I should take pains to carefully explain that one, pointing out nuances that might be missed. Generally it means the card is "shadowed," or their own beliefs and views obstruct the truth. Another really good one I read recently is the idea of an upright card being "invoked" and an inverted card being "banished," which is a very interesting perspective. I like the idea of "this card is departing from you, or taking its blessing/curse/experience away."

Those two things I say to everyone, just to clear space. The first really specific piece of advice I'd give to you if you're having trouble reading for yourself is do not add cards. Read what's already there. Take a picture of it, note everything in a journal, and look at it periodically. Focus not on what your feeling is, but what the card means. Do research, look it up in books, especially your own writings on the card if you have them. Seriously, adding too many cards makes the reading even harder to read. "Clarification" cards are a joke.

In addition, check your spread. The spreads we use are how we talk to the world and ask for information. Make sure that when you lay those cards in that pattern, you actually want the information the spread can offer. If you're looking for advice, don't ask a spread that's solely about prediction, that sort of thing.

I'd also suggest you take a look at the deck and see if it really expresses how you experience the world, and then I'd do divination that has nothing to do with your wishes for a while, to see if it can accurately relate the world to you. I wanna be specific here- what I'm talking about here is not how you wish the world was, but rather how you experience the world as it is. The deck is meant to reflect the world as it is, and reveal its secrets to you, and if the deck isn't doing that for you in your readings, you may need to use a different deck, or maybe even a different divination method at all.

If all your cards are coming up inverted all the time, that's a sign. The deck is specifically speaking to you and saying something to you. If it were my own deck, that would be a message that "you ain't gonna get it, so you may as well stop asking." I can't say what that omen means for you, but I would consider it a big one, maybe a step or two above "stalker" cards, and just below the significance of a reading that's more than 80% one suit. If that's the case, I'd ask your cards what they're trying to tell you that you're not getting, and record the answers. For myself, I use three-card combinations for those kinds of specific questions.

If you wanna reach out and talk to me more in depth, I'm definitely available if you wanna come off anon and have a conversation, or you can just send a few more anon asks if that's your comfort level. I hope I helped, one way or another. *hugs*

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.106 Eyes on the prize

I hated sitting there, listening to my wife cry, knowing I couldn't do anything for her. She was broken and I couldn't fix her. The weight of it all threatened to break me as well. In desperate attempts to remain strong for Sophia, I grabbed the dogs and went for the longest walk. Usually I wouldn't attempt a long walk with Kooper, but I needed it. I appreciated how steady the weather in Oasis Springs weather was. Whenever I needed to escape, I could always venture out into the dusty oven. The gentle swirls of wind and pitter patter of paws provided a soothing backdrop for my racing thoughts. How were we going to get through this? We weren't without options, but our dreams took a big hit. Our emotions suffocated us, and one day we would breathe again, but at the moment, it hurt.

The house was refreshingly quiet when we returned home, but I knew better than to think everything was magically alright. I unleashed the dogs and tiptoed to the bedroom to check on Sophia, but she was gone. It alarmed me at first, but it was a good sign. I found her outside, sitting at the table, staring at the air. I joined her but didn't know what to say or if I should say anything, but we definitely had much to discuss. Letting the silence linger for a moment felt appropriate. When comfortable, I drummed up the courage to ease us back to reality.

"So...what are you thinking about? I mean...what do you want to do?"

She glanced up at the sky as if seeking an answer from the clouds. But an answer didn't come, and her eyes came back to me.

"I don't want to give up but..."

"Yeah...I know."

"And we have to pay for the treatments individually. If they don't work and I keep getting them..."

"Good thing we have the money tree, huh?"

I winked at her, trying to add a little levity to the situation.

"That's true," she said. "IVF is even more expensive."

"Don't think about the money right now. We can figure that out later if we need to."

"What about your sister?"

"What about her?"

"Do you think she'll..."

"Alessia? No way."

"Why not? You haven't even asked her yet."

"Have you met her? She loves her body too much. She won't do it."

She sank into her chair, defeated by a non-existent foe. I felt it too, but one of us had to stay afloat and keep hope alive.

"We can think about that if it comes to it," I said. "Right now...maybe let's try the treatments for a few days. If they don't work, then we'll..."

I left my sentence dangling in the air, hoping she'd finish it. We were in this situation together, but I didn't feel right making decisions about her body, even though I was only trying to keep us focused on our dreams.

"Then we'll do in vitro," she said, finally.

"Okay then."

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo #sophia aguilar #tw: infertility

[thedreadvampy]

sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.

but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia

(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)

but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism

and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.

and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.

it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:

Almost all Muslims are bad and evil

They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him

There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven

Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)

...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS

...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.

DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.

and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:

white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical

god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose

free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained

the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.

but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.

in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.

#red said #i love these books. i love the last battle especially. #fuck me they're awful philosophically though #they were probably the first chapter books i read when i was 3 or 4. they are such a big part of my life. #and I've always loved them and i still do. I'm so fond of them. #and part of that is inextricable from the Christianity of them. i think there's something really fun and interesting in the fusion of #christian myth and celtic paganism and classical myth and arthuriana and new age mysticism and sci fi multiverse stuff #like it's not. new to blend those things. but lewis is such a nerd about all of them and he blends them up in a really flavourful way #and also i think like as a kid. the utter claroty with which These Are Metaphors About Theology And Philosophy #really worked for me even though I disagreed with most of it. because it kind of wants to engage with you directly as a child #it is. to me. pretty honest about its intentions. and it digs into some moderately complex ideas for a young audience. #like they're parables not morality plays. the Goddier ones are inviting you to think and engage in a conversation about the ideas #which tbh. not a lot of kid's books did at the time and age i was reading them? #they wanted me to be thinking about the whys and hows of morality. like obviously Lewis SUPER has an opinion on the Right Answers #(i would usually. say we're diametrically opposed on most conclusions but then i was rooting for Jadis' army in LWW) #but idk Lewis's theology is interesting. he's very much pro faith and determinism but he ALSO thinks you should question stuff i think #like. it's often kind of self-contradictory but the books are pretty pro asking questions pushing back straying from the path #as long as you come back #and the last battle particularly is really clear that you're not doing a good job of engaging with faith if you don't think about it #like other than MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND BAD the main message of the last battle is. #if you don't think critically about faith then someone else will think for you and fuck you over #tirian is our hero bc he has a personal and often uncertain relationship with faith that means he refuses to get swept up in the crowd #puzzle is painted as someone who is too scared of conflict to voice his concerns #he's prepared to believe he's too stupid to have his own questions or relationship with faith and so he becomes a tool of the powerful #because he is told to trust the teachings of the church not his own heart #now. do i think this is philosophically good? generally yes but it also props up the I'M A BOLD TRUTHTELLER AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT #reactionary tendency. and it's written by a guy whose Unpopular Truthtelling is partly 'Allah is Satan' so. grains of salt. #buuuuut. it's probably why it resonates a lot with people like me or my mum who as kids often felt constrained or patronised #by the way adults approach obedience and blind faith #like. Lewis is advocating for FAITH. he DOESN'T think that faith should be uncritical or without discomfort