#(it was actually quite triggering for me... not in the angry-triggered kinda way haha)

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hiiii!!! 💫💕🌸🥳

Can I bother with a question... I was (re)watching that zhang qiling edit (not today) - 'cause it's so cool, btw- and I wondered if Reboot Xiaoge’s your favourite one...? And if you're up to answering, what do you think about the other adaptations? Especially (our small bean) xiao yuliang's interpretation of xiaoge?

🤗🌺💐🐰💕

Hey, my precious patootie hehe ILY it always makes me very happy knowing that you rewatch my vids <3

lol dang it, I was kinda hoping to avoid this question, just because I feel like I'd find it hella hard to explain some things, but I'll try my best and hopefully it'll make some sense xD

I'll start from afar bc I wanna try to explain my reasonings, since I don't want to go without arguments into such highly debated question lolz. I talked about this a bit in my previous asks somewhere, but not broadly as to why that one guy hit all the right spots.

So throughout the books Wu Xie always does this wonderful thing, where he very tangibly describes the feeling he gets when Xiaoge is near, I mean like the aura around him. And he always somehow does it so colorful, that this mix of safety, assurance, calmness, composure and some things I can't quite put into one noun, that he brings to him, I think everyone who've read the books can recognize as this almost magical "Xiaoge feeling". It's not just the way he acts in some dangerous situations or smth like that. It's just everything. You either have it or you don't. And here goes my first argument... to me none of them, except for Huang Junjie and Yuliang have it.

I mean it's not even the obvious stuff, it's like the way they move during the action scenes, the way they even stand and hold themselves, the way they touch Wu Xie, the tone of their voices (both of which are like soothing as fuck), little things you'd think wouldn't matter, but when you watch it and all the puzzle pieces are together, you're like... fuck yeah, thats him.

Also not really that weighty of a point, but to me there's always a joy to see that the actor who plays the character not only gets what's he's playing, but also loves it, bc it's always seen on screen. Usually when some asked about the character they play and what they have in common for example they answer with obvious things like if some character is introverted they're like "well I also don't talk very much" or smth like that, you know what I mean. When I was watching interviews of Yuliang and Huang Junjie I was just smiling so much, bc they've said such things that made me go "yeah, Qiling is safe in their hands".

In Reboot case working in such close proximity with the author definitely also played a huge role here. Bc it kinda gets complicated in some aspects since the books are written from Wu Xie's point of view and you can't only base your picture on his perspective, just bc it's coming from a person who after being basically told "you're my whole world" goes "I'm just a person he randomly passes by in his long life" in his thoughts. Not only he's utterly clueless and dumb when it comes to all this, that he wouldn't notice the way Qiling looks at him and other things, its also not that kind of book, that would go "I suddenly caught poker face looking at me like I'm his whole existence" (and I honestly don't want it to be that book lmao). So you have to take into the account here stuff like what author says to get the whole picture, bc if you look at that from the point of Qiling's view for example, this shit takes a whole wild turn. So I really loved that in UN and Reboot ways of showing Qiling's feelings were well thought out and fit the timeline.

Bc it also works both ways, when it comes to other adaptations. Like Qiling is very and I mean ETREMELY hard to win over. We all know that it was a very long process of gaining his trust and even longer for him to fall for Wu Xie to the point of him being his everything. So what I want in those interpretations is for them to get at which point of their relationships what Xiaoge's behavior makes sense. I do not need any fanservice if it ruins the character, I'll just hate it. The thing that their feelings didn't come out of nowhere is what I LOVE about this ship, bc I'm not the kind of person who believes in "we love for nothing" thing and love at first sight thing (only "got hots for each other" at first sight), bc thats bull. Wu Xie became his everything after a long LONG process of getting to know each other. At the beginning tho he was the same stranger to him as everyone else. So what Reboot Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie yet and what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what Lost Tomb's Qiling feels for Wu Xie (which at that point was nothing). And I feel like not everyone gets the fact that you can totally wreck the character if you make him behave not the way he behaved in that particular time. Like for example, if someone would make a MDZS adaptation where at the very beginning of their relationships LZ treats WWX the way he treated him after the reincarnation just because "who cares, it's still LZ", that would be dumb af, see what I mean. So Xiaoge having a weakness for Wu Xie in part one is automatically not a Xiaoge to me, bc a huge part of his character and the thing NPSS speaks a lot about is just how IMPOSSIBLE it is for someone to catch his attention and how long it took Wu Xie to get there. So let's just say to me UN and Reboot Qilings for the first time didn't feel like some mashup or character summary/parody, they were Qilings the way they are supposed to be in that part of the story, bc it was the only times someone actually bothered to coordinate it.

Now as to why I prefer one to another. Xiaoge has this thing... the way he holds himself with other people, that is sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally suppressing.

Like everyone knows that if you're a passerby, Qiling genuinely doesn't fucking care and would in fact be pretty harsh about it in terms of treating people like they do not deserve their attention. He won't be like "please, don't bother me", he simply ignored them like an empty space. He is also like that with acquaintances who in his opinion do not deserve his respect like that girl who went hysterical, bc she was upset that he was the only one who wasn't drooling on her like all other men on the crew, Chen Wenjin, Wu Xie's uncles and etc. He's not openly disrespectful unless they trigger him in some way (usually by trying to act superior or later on for not treating Wu Xie right), but if they do, he will in fact remind them their place in sometimes a very rude way, at times humiliating them in front of ppl bc he looks younger than them and talking starts.

He's always doing things on his own terms and hates being told what to do. Like he legit scared Chen Wenjin just with a look and the tone of his voice when he said "let go", when she tried to command him on the mission and grabbed him trying to lecture him about what he should or shouldn't do. That's why Wu Erbai didn't even try anything like this and let him do whatever he needed to do and equally lead the mission in Reboot. And why the scene where Wu Xie 'commands' "Xiaoge, come back" and he immediately listens holds another special place in my heart. Bc he NEVER and I mean NEVER allows such things to ANYONE.

So here I came to a point of why despite loving them both dearly, my favorite Xiaoge is Huang Junjie.

I have this dissonance with Yuliang's version when to me in many scenes it felt like he and Wu Xie are the same age. Like if he was Xiaoge, but in his 20s. In his interactions with Chen Wenjin the dynamics was turned upside down, with him being okay with her telling him what to do and just in general the way she behaved with him. Same as like I didn't always quite believe him to be on par with older generation or even Pangzi, it just felt like he was truly younger than them. Some scenes that I do find extremely cute just don't fit book Xiaoge at all, I'm talking about some moments like his face when Wu Xie gave him food, or him pouting and many things he's done, when you were going "uwu he's a baby". He just never gives me this feeling in the books ever, not just bc he's 100 years old, but sad fact here.. bc he's simply unable to behave that way. Like in the books you'll desperately want to shower him with love, but he's just... I can't quite explain, it's very sad.

I guess it's just you know these characters, who are like hundreds years old, but look like they're 18? I think you have to be very careful with how you write those, so you could deliver that. And in UN because of some changed dynamics and scenes I straight up forgot about it, until Wu Xie threw some joke like "he's an old man" in front of a restaurant.

In Reboot Xiaoge could make Wu Erbai stutter with one move, put Yuliang's version in the same scene, I just don't think it would've worked. Like I'm trying to imagine him telling UN's Wu Erbai what to do and having troubles already haha. Same as I don't think he's capable to be genuinely mad at Wu Xie, and HJJ nailed it esp in one of my fav when Wu Xie was laughing at Pangzi's joke about him catching cold. The look he gave him and how ZYL just retreated was priceless xD. And boy could Qiling get angry with him in the books!

Otherwise I didn't have any drastic fall outs there, like with Joseph's Wu Xie and Ah Ning's death, because that was just too much of a difference, but there were still moments where it was once again this the same scene completely different emotion thing. He was more tolerable to ppl in general here, more pliable. And 50% of the time he gave me the cute lost kitten type, which I just cannot connect with the feeling he gave me in the books. His personality is a cat type 100%, but like seriously "cute baby" is the last word combination I would ever apply to book Xiaoge, but with Yuliang's version it's easily applied. So small bean he is indeed. With Joseph and in UN it works incredibly perfect to me, but the way he is in UN is at times too gentle. And there are lots of scenes where Joseph himself looked at him in a way "you're too cute, let me pinch your cheeks" kind of way, or the way he like sat down next to him on the coast, he was a bit babying him at times. I can't imagine book pingxie doing that. It's just a whole different vibe, the way he takes care of him, the way he lets him take care of him... it's...uuuuuuuuu another vibe (see, I'm so good at explaining lmao).

It's also kinda funny to me, bc HJJ who's the smallest and who irl truly a kitten never once gave me that feeling on screen for some reason. The one babied and loved by every crew and old ppl, who was cutely hiding behind ZYL's back on set, who won't sue an ex who almost ruined his career bc of how stupid she is, bc he "didn't want to hurt her", who according to staff can't even step on a fly, whom CMH was petting for several minutes after he had to hit him with a prop brick bc he didn't wanna do it lmao. I was just like.. ok, this is hilarious, bc I in fact didn't expect him to be a small bean, so watching all the bts made me go LOOOOL. Probably ZYL acting like a 3 year old helped him transform and the age difference problem got lost lmao

As for other adaptations. You know I can't watch seriously "Lost Tomb", I think some ppl probably have some nostalgic feeling about it, but I'm sorry, to me it's fucking hilarious. Like I've already said it looks like some type of twilight parody thing or smth. Soft damselle Wu Xie esp killed me, bc 1st when he ever was that, 2nd in the first book he's salty af, I don't even know this dude in this interpretation, I was like who's this. YangYang I know him from other things, I really don't think it's his role. I know the script and everything is bad. I know the costume and hair are horrendously funny, but it's just I was watching him in those action scenes and was like no... just I'm sorry but I'm not feeling it. I simply just don't know what to say about the whole thing seriously, bc I don't even know where to start. 10 episodes of some salad finished with one mutilated scene from book 6 for no reason the fact that characters are weird themselves also I can't quite tell, did they really just meet or they imply smth else lmao.. I'm sorry, but I do not get it.

I've given LT2 another try after finishing all the books and I've dropped it half way through, Cheng Yi wasn't even close to how I pictured Xiaoge in any aspect. He in fact didn't do anything OOC or off the book or anything, I just was like "not my Qiling". Happens sometimes.

Explore with the note you already know how I feel about this lol let's just forget.

P.S. To be fair here also maybe we should take into account the fact that some got luckier than other with "at which point" Xiaoge they're playing. Like for example, "Wrath of the Sea" and "Qingling Tree" books which is LT2 is not exactly you can say much about Qiling there, he trolls them there in the beginning (in a brilliant way that was totally lost in the adaptation) and he is there in "Wrath of Sea", but it's not the part that can make his character shine in any way, there's not much things happening there that would make you fall for him or get to know him; Yuliang grabbed the fattest piece bc it's middle several books, when they're always together and his character shines the most in terms of clues about past, opening up to Wu Xie and Pangzi, and there are many many events where you can get the picture of what kind of man he is; Huang Junjie grabbed my fav piece of utter devotion, where he's already fully and wholeheartedly belongs to Wu Xie, that I'm just weak for. So like... there's also that I guess xD.

#answered #jaecomments #zhang qiling #daomu biji #dmbj #lost tomb reboot #i still feel like i couldn't quite explain stuff lol #its a complicated question xD #do not kill me for my i guess weird opinions haha #huang junjie #xiao yuliang #lost tomb #pingxie

[slashmebois]

You make me breathless

“Hello! How are you? I hope you are very well ;) If you don't mind, could you write about Bo's reaction to an asthmatic reader? being fucking soft on him and freaking out when he tries too hard? How to mount your thigh? I suffer from asthma attacks, you know, it's hell when everyone treats me like a baby, but deep down I enjoy it, thanks in advance and see you!”

 Thank you so much for your request @ !! I hope this fits what you wanted! I kept this GN up until thigh riding, so if y’all aren’t the owners of a va-gi-na you may wanna stop reading at that point.

I’ve not written NSFW before so sorry if it’s a lil cringe haha.

Disclaimer: My only experience of asthma is a close family member who has pretty severe symptoms. If any of the information I put in is incorrect, please drop me a message and I’ll do my best to educate myself and edit the post! I used information from Asthma UK to inform my writing.

Okay first, some background.

When you first arrived in Ambrose and Bo was chasing you, he thought it was hilarious when your asthma started to act up (he’s an asshole, I’m sorry). But he did feel a little teensy bit guilty about that later…

Leading on from that, if anyone does anything that triggers your asthma, well Bo is gonna be pissed.

Both Lester and Vincent have been kicked in the ass for doing so. Vincent is just so quiet that he scared the heck out of you by accident, and Lester bought that cleaning product that sets you off because he wasn’t listening properly.

Boy really thought you needed CPR the first time you had a big attack (he just wanted an excuse to kiss you okay). He’s since learned to keep an eye on where your inhaler and Volumatic spacer are so he can grab them quick.

If you have a preventer inhaler, he tries to remind you to take it.

He’s also a little overprotective (see bullet point two) and panics a little because he doesn’t really understand that sometimes the cause won’t be obvious. He has literally run around holding up things to you and asking if that is what was causing it.

It can feel like he’s babying you since he drops whatever is happening if you get the slightest bit breathless.

But also he drops whatever he’s doing, which is kind of sweet.

Initially he got pretty proud when your symptoms triggered whilst you were getting it on. Once you’d recovered and explained it to him, he realised that whilst he loved the idea of you finding it hard to breathe around him, that maybe, just maybe it wasn’t actually a good thing.

 Tonight, was the night. You were determined. Tonight, was the night you would make Bo realise you are an independent and goddamn sexy adult who can take care of themselves.

He had been babying you all week. The pollen count in Ambrose currently was astronomical and setting off your asthma big time. You had been trying to get down and dirty, but every time you had felt your airways tightening and Bo had scrambled for your inhaler, before holding you and kissing your head. And he always refused sex after. You were pretty sure he thought that’s what was causing it at this point.

You dressed yourself in your tightest, most revealing clothes, adding a garter underneath for good luck. You felt sexy and powerful. You just hoped Vincent wasn’t chilling in the kitchen to see this. It had happened before and yes; it was embarrassing for everyone involved. Striding down the stairs you glance over to the kitchen table. Okay, phew. The coast is clear.

You’re thankful as you step into the street, that the air in Ambrose is always warm- come summer or winter. You hear the music coming from the garage before you see Bo come into view. He’s singing along, focused on the car engine in front of him. You lean against the garage door, watching him with that warm fuzzy feeling of love. You’re so thankful you found him.

He turns and jumps a little, before eyeing you up and down slowly- a devilish grin working its way onto his face.

“Well that is a nice view” he whistles, his eyes locking with yours, “what’s the occasion?”

“No occasion…just wanted to look nice for myself” you spin on the spot, giving him the full view.

“For yourself huh?”, he makes his way over to you, laying his hands on your hips and leaning in close to hum in your ear, “and could little old Bo get any of that, or are we strictly keeping this to ourselves?” he punctuates it, by pulling you close enough to feel his erection against your back.

You gasp audibly, “I guess I could share a little. Sharing is caring and all that”

His laughs rumbles, And he starts walking you towards the basement, gripping and grasping at you as he does.

By the time you reach the basement, you’re already moaning and can feel the growing arousal between your thighs. He manages to jostle the door open and picks you up, wrapping your legs round him to carry you over to the chair.

Bo, leans back and just studies you before going to town on your neck, nipping and sucking and groaning, “how the fuck did I get so lucky baby”.

You’re a mess before he’s even touched you down there, and struggling to form words, “Bo…uhh…oh my-YES”

His hands paw at your chest, kneading the flesh before moving south to cup you.

“Someone’s excited” he grins, but you can hear he’s nearly as breathless as you.

His fingers start to move down there and it’s little bits of electric. You’re panting and grabbing at his back,

“please please please”

He pulls his hand away and you groan in dismay. The sensation is quickly replaced, you squeak as he rips your bottoms off and kneels before you, putting his mouth on you and sucking hard.

You can feel yourself quickly approaching climax, but then it happens. Your throat tightens and you gasp inward, your breath not quite reaching your lungs.

Bo is immediately off you, “where’s your inhaler, where is it baby?”, he looks so worried, fuck. This is so unfair. You point over to your discarded bag and he rustles through it to find your saving grace. He tosses you the inhaler, and picks you up as you use your inhaler, placing you down in his lap.

You take breaths in, letting the medication sooth your airways until you can breathe again. All the time, Bo is muttering reassurances and sweeping you hair back from your face to kiss your eyelids.

“It’s okay baby, you’re all right. Don’t worry. We’ll get you to bed”

You can feel the angry tears threatening to spring from your eyes, “I don’t want to go to bed Bo. I am not a baby! I’m a fully grown adult and I want to fuck. Jesus!”

He stills, a little stunned, “You think I treat you like a baby?”, his tone is dark.

“Well…I…I just feel stupid.”

“Oh no, no, no. That’s fine. I can treat you different if you like”

Before you can respond he has you over his lap and his hand is coming down on your backside. You yelp in surprise, “B…Bo”

---GN ends, reader is person with vagina from here on out---

“Ah-ah, call me daddy babygirl”

You feel a shiver of delight pass through you, “yes daddy”, the groan that emits from Bo is unworldly.

He spanks you again, and you moan, squirming you legs together beneath him, “please daddy”

“Please, what?”

“Uhhhn, please touch me”

“Come sit on daddy’s knee”

You lift yourself, desperate to please him so he’d please you. You start to sit sideways across his knees, but he stops you and pulls you toward him so that you have a leg on either side of one of his knees.

Confused you start to question “what in the heck are you doing?” but before you can finish the sentence, he grinds his knee up into your core and ohhh…oh fuck, that feels good. Your legs clamp tightly around his leg, and you start to press down, “mmm. Please. Please daddy, that feels so good”.

He grinds his knee again and grabs your hips, pulling you down onto his thigh more. You don’t need more encouragement, you start moving your hips with him, mewling out his name and expletives. You leave a trail of your wetness along his leg, and fuck if that isn’t hot.

“Tell daddy how good it feels pet. Mm, you like that don’t you?”

“Daaaddy, it feels-mmmf-it feels so good.”

“Whose doing that to you?”

“Y…you are Bo. Oh my god. Oh my god. pleeeease”

Your face is flushed and your hair sticks to your forehead as you feel the mounting tightness in your stomach pooling down.

“Yeah I am baby. You gonna cum for me? Gonna make you cum just using my thigh huh?”

You try to respond but your orgasm tears through you, and you just wail in a mix of pleasure and slight pain. Your breath is short, but for a different reason this time. You’re still for a spell, trying to catch it again, and trying to decide if you’re still on this plane of existence. You realise that the whole time Bo is just staring at you, a big smile on his face.

“What?” you laugh.

“Nothing, just think I’ll have to stop treating you so precious huh? Kinda liked this side of you”

You pout, “I don’t mind you treating me a little like a baby. But only a little.”

He barks out a laugh, “Alright, alright. We’ll compromise. You can be my spoilt baby during the day”, he leans in close to your ear, his thighs movement against your slit making you jump, “but at night I’m treating you like this. You get an asthma attack, fine we’ll sort it. But I might have to punish you for making me worry”

You bite your lip, feeling a second wave of arousal hit you. Fuck, at this rate you’d be cumming a second time real soon. He catches the look in your eye, “Guess I better get to work on you again”

#how #house of wax #bo sinclair #bo sinclair smut #bo sinclair x reader #slashers

[kickingstonesandbones]

What I’ve gathered from the 3 Episodes bc some of y’all seem confused or asked

Disclaimer: For the past 10+ years, I've made it a hobby of mine to thoroughly analyze fictional characters and plots, so I feel pretty confident in predicting characters. There rarely are plot twists that can surprise me. BUT that is obviously no guarantee that I am absolutely perfect at it and never wrong! Nor do I believe that I am always correct, just quite confident in reading between the lines with characters.

There are some theories and posts I've seen (on different platforms) that, I think, are doing a good job of getting the general gist of stuff, but nonetheless, they all seem to be overlooking minor details that can turn around meanings (like the way Hoshino acts). Also, many of you seem to either be ignoring or unaware of the mindset of older JAPANESE generations (of Insanely Rich Families™).

So yeah, I am just going to put statements/theories I’ve seen and go through them one by one. They’ll be obviously marked, so just read the ones you’re interested in? (Also, I absolutely love a good discourse, so if you have something that would challenge my own theories, or would like to discuss something that I haven’t touched up on in this OR want me to elaborate on something, feel free to comment, reblog, or dm me with your opinion or question! Whatever you’re more comfortable with 😊)

#1 Haru killed the woman. (I see this as a kind of side-comment a lot?)

#2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now. (Why it’s more complicated than that and also different than you think – explained more lengthily than I intended to, but still shorter than I could’ve lol)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists.

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now? (Just brain farts, pls kinda ignore this one haha I just wanted that one theory written down to get back to it)

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General... (aka Daisuke’s behavior in Ep 3 explained)

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected. (I haven’t seen a single post about the 1998 Files and the Parents in this context, for some reason, and was wondering.)

I’ll put a Read More here because this is going to be long, very long.

#1 Haru killed the woman.

Absolutely not true. (I do see people mention that like “he killed her in self-defense” in case you're thinking "well duh, Sherlock.") Choice of words is ALWAYS important.

In Episode 2 when Haru and Daisuke talk on the stairs, Daisuke relays information about Haru. He says, "you misfired and seriously injured the target" when talking about the reason why Haru is not in First Division anymore.

Now, Daisuke does not seem the type to sugarcoat facts, which means he would not leave out "which resulted in their death" at the end, or just straight up say "you misfired and killed the target." Now, 'seriously injured' means that the woman's life WAS in grave danger and she was close to dying, but she DID NOT DIE in the end. She survived. Being shot in the chest does not mean inevitable death. In fact, you can survive injury to any organ (even the brain) EXCEPT for the stomach (bc inner walls are covered in a protein that protects the stomach from digesting itself -> injury that would let the acid leak from it -> acid will burn away other organs -> you die of multiple organ failure bc you cannot stitch up a stomach)

It hits her in the right side of her chest, maybe even right below the shoulder. It’s hard for me to tell the exact position from the frames. But anyway, it most likely pierced through her right lung, which in itself is already deadly enough. But yeah, she did not die. No one in the anime ever even alludes to it.

I think some people believe he actually accidentally killed the woman because Haru was so devastated by it IMMEDIATELY. No, it wasn’t because of that per se. He was absolutely devastated because he. LOVES. PEOPLE. (As shown by his entire conversation with the boy on the train before he gets off and his faith in the good in people in Ep 3.) And it just left him so shaken that he (seriously) injured an innocent person. (In his eyes innocent because someone who is about to shoot you out of anger/other strong emotions is not necessarily innocent to me but that is an entirely different discussion.) Anyway, I think he was most shocked about the fact that he had pulled the trigger on her out of reflex (because he instinctively knew she WAS going to shoot him DEAD in that moment and his body reacted before he could think about it – as his immediate reaction to shooting her shows).

See the absolute shock in his eyes? Like he only realized what he did right after shooting her. Reflex.

 #2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now.

Yes, but no. I don't quite agree - and I don't agree mostly with the explanations given why (but also parts of the statements). And the reason for that is simply Hoshino's different facial expressions and exact choice of words in the interactions between them. To me, he seems like the type who would have an indifferent kind of face most of the time since I literally screenshotted every single scene with him (solely for this analysis lol), and he does have variation in expression, but only a little bit most of the time. His feelings are kinda subtle.

But before I explicitly explain what I mean, let me define something. 'Being torn' about something in general means that one cannot decide between two things, mostly two opposite (or at least quite different) things. And since some say Hoshino 'feels torn,' it would mean he would have two opposing feelings towards Haru, which I honestly don't think is true. It is just one very complex feeling that manifested over time.

Let me start by how Hoshino views Haru.

Haru is Hoshino's senior (senpai). Hoshino is Haru's junior (kohai). As we can see in the flashback in Ep 3 on the rooftop, Hoshino admires Haru. Like, this baby has complete and utter admiration in his eyes.

(He likely also thinks in that moment that Haru is insane, but that is besides the point right now.) He admires Haru for being able to do things fearlessly that he hesitates about. He looks like he’d like to be just like Haru as well. He looks up to him.

Then, the incident of Haru shooting the woman happens. Haru leaves the First Division and 'gets demoted' to the MCPTF. The two of them only speak to each other with higher level (distant relationship) honorifics. (I have a point about Hoshino calling Haru senpai in the first episode, but I will get to that.) Why they fell back into stranger honorifics will get more obvious in my second main point.

In the flashback we get in the third episode,

we get a Hoshino who stays on the side, also looking kind of dejected. I do not think that he is disappointed or angry at that moment. He just stares at his senpai in silence. Since he admires Haru so much, I guess he always wanted to be a cop JUST LIKE Haru, so he is... grieving? with Haru. I don't really know how to put it into words, but you could say he is HURTING by seeing his amicable, precious senpai BEATEN. Do not forget that Takei (Haru’s former superior) also puts a reassuring hand on Haru's shoulder. This interaction shows that they DO NOT blame him. (I am saying this bc I've seen people angry about what Hoshino says to Haru in Ep 3, saying "why would he hate him so much now and be so mean" - he doesn't. He absolutely. Does. Not. Hate. Him. He is frustrated and disappointed, but not hateful towards Haru.)

Having explained that, let me get to my first main point here:

I don't think I need to lay out Haru's work ethics for you guys because they're so clearly shown in the anime. So considering those work ethics of his, I truly believe that Haru ASKED to be removed from the First Division (which is why I put gets demoted in '   ' earlier) and be switched to one where he does not need a gun. Hence, he's now in the MCPTF. We do not SEE him getting demoted after that incident, which is why I firmly believe that that was Haru's decision and that he was persistent about it. When he packs up and leaves

he does not seem sour to HAVE to leave the division, but rather that he still seems to dwell over the reason WHY he's packing his stuff up. (You can see turmoil in his eyes. And that he’s lost in thoughts. He seems regretful, but also kind of set on something.) I mean the train scene really shows just HOW MUCH it still affects him

so I am pretty certain that he's thinking about exactly that and that he does not deserve to be a cop because of what he has done in that exact moment, and so on.

My second main point:

My first main point is exactly the reason why I think Hoshino acts the way he does towards Haru. It explains his expression that we see as Haru packs up his stuff.

He does not look angry.

He is hurt. And disappointed.

He feels let down.

In a sense, also betrayed. Like this isn’t reality.

The oh-so-great senpai, whom he has always looked up to all this time, who seemed so amazing, is pulling in his tail between his legs. Giving up. And running away. Just like that. Just because of ONE mistake. One mistake ALL of them probably would've made in that situation if they had been in his shoes. It made him realize that the senpai he had idolized all this time might not be as invincible as he had thought.

And. It. Hurts. Hoshino. To. No. End. (I mean, just zoom in on the pic and look at those eyes.)

I don't think he has ever let Haru know just how hurt he was just watching him leave and accepting the work he'd do in MCPTF (which is literally just desk work and filling in missing men force, as far as we’ve seen), which probably would mean that he let the hurt foster and foster inside of him until it slowly started to turn into coldness/curtness towards Haru. (Also could be that they fought before Haru left, which would also explain some remarks Hoshino makes.) He was hurt, and he somehow needed to show it.

Hoshino looked up to Haru, and was left feeling let down by his former partner. That stings. Deeply.

(I mean you can literally see the small changes in his eyes. His expressions slightly soften and harden. But the words tend to be more direct and harsh. And honestly, that is the result of disappointment and hurt speaking. But nevertheless, he still lets Haru and Kamei listen in (bottom right corner) even though he does look slightly annoyed; probably because he knows that he won’t be able to get rid of them, especially Haru. So the admiration is still there – probably had never left – which can give him moments where he “gives in”. Also, look at the bottom left corner.)

I mean Hoshino probably used to ALWAYS call Haru senpai for a longer period of time because he NEVER ever calls Haru senpai in the anime except for that one time when Haru startled him in the first episode. People in general react out of reflex and instinct whenever they're startled because reflexes and instincts are not a thing your brain CONSCIOUSLY processes. Those are subconscious responses.

If you don’t believe me, here is the other times Hoshino has called Haru – and when he did, it was literally only “Kato-san” (there aren’t a lot of other examples bc he literally only says Haru’s name like four times so far, but when he is NOT surprised, he addresses Haru like this):

(Completely taken aback by Haru just stealing the ear-piece, surprised face, afterwards not even aware that he did call Haru senpai, which he never does again (so far))

Which means Hoshino did not (more like COULD NOT) think about the way he'd call Haru, so that "senpai" slipped past his lips out of pure old habit. (Which goes to show that they used to be really close.) I'm not crying, you are.

.

I also have to bring up that first conversation on the train in Ep 3.

Kato: “That was rather fast.”

Hoshino: “Why are you here?” (he says Kato-san in Japanese, not “you”)

K: “I happened to be on the train. The perp is male. He said he failed the college entrance exam, so his age is somewhere around 19 or 20. I’m guessing he’s from somewhere around Hyogo.”

H: “How do you know-”

K: “I was sitting next to him, until moments ago.”

H: “Any other information?”

K: “No. I only started talking to him when I was close to getting off.”

H: “Understood. We at First Division will be handling this case. Kato-san, please take your leave.”

K: “It’s alright. I’m not a stranger in his light. Let me do it.”

H: “Do you have any authority to be on this crime scene?”

K: “What do you mean?”

H: “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?”

Look exactly at the changes in their eyes in each single picture here. Notice how Hoshino goes from surprised to somewhat indifferent to challenging? Someone might even argue that he looks angry, hostile, or that it’s resentment in his eyes, but considering that he is asking “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?” it is neither of those, because he is challenging Haru to defend himself. But Haru doesn’t answer, and they just stare each other down for a few seconds.

Just by the way Hoshino says it, and the way Haru reacts and how it immediately triggers the flashback/memory afterwards, I think this might actually be something Haru has said TO Hoshino (about himself) back then when Hoshino might've tried to change Haru's mind on leaving the First Division (that he does not deserve to be a cop, investigate crime scenes like that, etc). At least that interaction and just how Haru reacts to it seems to be implying that to me.

I refuse to believe Hoshino did not try at all to persuade and hold back Haru back then (I mean just that pic of Hoshino staring at Haru when he was packing his stuff and leaving the division literally SCREAMS INTO YOUR FACE), so I believe Haru told him at least SOMEWHAT how he feels about the whole thing, and I think Haru probably definitely said something along those lines. Like, he “did not deserve to investigate crime scenes LIKE THAT” (I mean the trauma and the train scene are literally the same hostage scenario with the culprit having a firearm (even if the kid's was a model gun and not real)) nor that he “deserved to be a cop any longer (because cops wouldn’t hurt the innocent).” He might’ve said something like that to Hoshino, which only frustrates and disappoints the latter further.

So in this complicated mess, what is it that Hoshino is actually feeling? That mixture of hurt, disappointment, betrayal and being let down has manifested itself into frustration. Hoshino is frustrated with Haru.

He’ll probably explode (in Haru’s face) at some point in the anime, too.

(I think Hoshino is an interesting character.)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists

I was so confused about that scene in the beginning and had to check whether I WAS actually watching the third episode lol

The main thing I get from it is that it's entirely about INFORMATION. That is probably entirely because the Hong Kong episode got deleted and instead we'll get that in a drama CD? In Hong Kong, Haru probably would've learned that HEUSC is an AI butler, not a real one, and how to use him. (Among other things.) I mean, he somehow needs to first get to learn about HEUSC before he can use him for the whole train scenario later in the episode? And that hadn't been done yet, and probably would've happened in Hong Kong, but we aren't getting that in the anime so that information needed to be given another way. Which is probably why that first scene even exists. If anyone knows well about script writing for that and how that in general works, and knows more about this, please let me know, I am interested in learning lmao

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now?

I do not want anyone to comment that it was confirmed that they are siblings or some shit. NOTHING has been confirmed. She still could be his wife. She also just could be his sister. Or a cousin. We will get to know eventually, but as of right now, NOTHING AT ALL HAS BEEN CONFIRMED. REMEMBER THAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT.

I, in general, do not really care for ships. So idgaf if she is his sister or wife, but I DO have a theory of my own. And it is all because of how Daisuke's grandmother introduced herself.

DAISUKE'S grandmother. Not THEIRS. Not Daisuke's AND Suzue's grandmother. ONLY Daisuke's.

So this either means a harsh canon awakening for shippers, or it MIGHT mean something entirely else. (And I have 3 points to make here.)

(1) That she does not accept Suzue as a grandchild. Now, she did not look like she harbors resentment towards Suzue and wished she wasn't present at all or didn't exist. Buuuuut.... Suzue might be an illegitimate grandchild? Like, I know that sounds wild, but hear me out.

Children sometimes look more like one parent rather than the other (or a parent’s side). Sometimes, not always, but often enough. Animes in general do not make love interests or parents look almost identical. (But then again, you could never know with the devs of this one lmao) Soooo... It could be that they either look like their father, or their mother. And the respective parent had an affair, resulting in Suzue. And why I believe it would be Suzue, if one of them actually would be the illegitimate child? Because she is younger than Daisuke, and the way the grandmother treats HIM. (Honestly, if Daisuke would be the illegitimate child, 1. Grandma wouldn't claim him 2. Why would the other parent stick around for two more years to have another child with a cheater?) Which could be why - considering the mindset of older Japanese generations - why she only introduced herself as Daisuke's grandmother. And also why she is so immensely strict with him. In her eyes, he would be the only heir to the family. So she has to raise him to be a responsible man whom she can hand over the company to with peace of mind.

(2) Daisuke and Suzue are actually married. So get over it in this case. (And don't you DARE hate on a great character (again) because of that, otherwise I'll only refer to ya'll as salty hoes from them on.)

(3) We all (read: I) might be interpreting too much into it and it literally means nothing at all, and she just introduced herself that way because they were going to talk about Daisuke because of his new work place and since Daisuke and Haru are partners. For this case, I already have my wig, red nose, and make up ready 🤡

If I am being honest, (1) does not seem too likely to me – just something I randomly thought of. I actually think it’s just simply (3). But I am presenting it for the VERY small chance that (1) could actually be true lmao I bet I will cringe hard at it later

Highly likely: Since Haru would be more involved with Daisuke than Suzue because of work, it could be that she just found it more logical to introduce herself as his grandma, rather than theirs, so yeah… like I’ve said, these are just brain farts and I just wanted to have them written down lol

EDIT: I’ve been made aware that there seems to be an error in the translation. Since it is too much of a pain to add even more pics on mobile, I will just relay the information of the tweet. You can find the link to the tweet in the comments though. My Japanese isn’t that great, so I am dependent on the translation, so errors can occur, which makes me happy when people point something like this out to me. Basically, what Kikuko is actually saying in Japanese is that she’s the grandma, but she leaves out the pronouns - therefore not really saying whose grandma she is - so it could refer to both of them. Like I said, (1) doesn’t seem likely to me anyway lol

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General...

Are strict. Are very conservative. Especially insanely rich families like the Kambe's. Kikuko is NOT strict with him because she has a bad personality or because she is inherently mean or something. (Though she does seem to consider him a bit irresponsible because she calls him selfish)

(Also notice how she asks “so hasn’t he” instead of “he hasn’t been, has he?” which means she always expects him to cause trouble for everyone. This goes to show that Daisuke can never do enough or do good enough for her, which also explains his character a bit since his grandma took care of him since his parents died, but my point here is not to analyze his entire behavior.)

The Japanese have a culture of respect. Respect your elders. Unconditionally. And grandparents of insanely rich families like Daisuke's also demand respect, which means not talking back, or DISOBEYING THEIR ORDERS. Which brings me to the next point (for which I have written this one because y’all might be misinterpreting Daisuke’s behavior, which is exactly what I meant in the beginning with “ignoring or being unaware of the mindset of older Japanese generations”)...

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Sorry to burst the bubbles.

I see everyone going on about them now being partners, and Daisuke trusting his life with Haru’s judgement.

The second part, yes… kinda at least.

The first? Not so much.

Let me talk about the first half of the sentence first. Like the point before this clarifies – unconditional, non-questioning respect, and no disobedience. Which means that Daisuke would NOT go against the orders of his grandmother. By helping Haru with that case and listening to him, being coached, is literally just him obeying Kikuko. (He might also think that it would be better to just follow before Haru rats him out to his grandma for a second time.)

(I do bet though that that will soon change and be genuine!)

Now, with the part about trusting his life to Haru’s judgement… I am not sure whether I can properly explain this the way I mean it, so I just hope it will make sense. I think Daisuke kind of trusted Haru’s judgement on the boy, but also trusted his own judgement just a little more than that. I think he just made logical deductions from what he witnessed inside (reported that a person was down and that they were probably killed by the boy, then it turns out he is doing all that for his sister’s surgery, then it turns out that gun is not real (after causing a distraction) and nobody is actually injured, but then he gets his hand on a real gun (Hoshino’s) and points it their direction in a panic, and Daisuke notices Haru cannot shoot the boy, so he deducts that if the boy knows that his sister will be safe, he will calm down and the situation will be completely de-escalated, so he steps forward and states he will pay for it (he does not really care about spending money as we all know lol) and stands with confidence because he knows flinching or getting nervous – or even blinking – would make it look like a lie and he would definitely NOT want that). Does this make sense? Like, Daisuke is such a calm and collected person, I doubt he would just absolutely BLINDLY jump into something because of someone else’s judgement BEFORE making sure that their judgement is correct by his own observation of the situation, which would be why he stayed behind Haru and just observed until a certain point where he was absolutely certain that it would be safe to do so.

Though what that DOES mean though would be that Daisuke would probably trust Haru’s judgement without being too skeptical about it soon. (I feel like this might’ve been that part in the Episode 3 Hong Kong PV 3 where a person (looks A LOT like Daisuke, so I’ll just assume it was him) was cuffed and Haru comes to the rescue. It might’ve been that Haru judged that person who ended up doing this to Daisuke to be shady, but Daisuke went ahead anyway and got himself in trouble, which was why he ended up cuffed to something, or something of that sort that would show Daisuke Haru’s judgement can be trusted.) [Edit: I used this simply as a theorizing example of how this could be done in another way with a scene that actually DOES exist (though we won’t be seeing that in the anime anymore it is still canon material) instead of having to make something up, and Hong Kong was just a good example to further show my point.]

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected.

In short: Yes, I think so.

In long: (This theory might be a far reach hahah)

The first time we see Haru enter the office of his division, he is carrying files.

'Unsolved Case Files 1998,' it specifically reads. We know Daisuke's parents have died and he says “it was in Japan” when that one day turned his life around (though we do not have any indication of year yet). I assume they were killed (and that it wasn’t an accident at all) and it is the true reason why he came back to Japan (even though yeeeaaars later bc he needed to be trained)

and why he specifically asked to be in the MCPTF BECAUSE Haru is in it (I’ll explain why soon), instead of the First or Second Division - as the superintendent general had suggested for him to be put into, which resulted in Daisuke declining the offer.

But we don't know much about Haru's family. Actually, NOTHING AT ALL. Now, I think that his parents are dead as well, and that their deaths are connected to Daisuke's parents' deaths. The fact that Haru looks through cold cases (or well, at least old cases), which is only briefly shown by showing the files he carried in the first episode, most likely is meant to be some "foreshadowing/hidden info given” kind of thing. Haru is possibly investigating his parents' (or at least a loved one's) death. His parents' death (if none of his parents were police officers themselves and therefore influenced him in that way) is possibly also the reason Haru became a police officer in the first place (even though he tells Daisuke that it is simply to "nab criminals," maybe specifically the criminals who have to do with that?).

Now, I said before that Daisuke asked to be in the same Division as Haru, not the MCPTF (though he names the division, not Haru’s name but you'll know why I'm saying that by the end of this. I don’t think he has immense interest in the division itself but WHO is IN IT). In the second episode, we get to know that Daisuke has a lot of information about Haru. During the case of Isezaki, we get to know during the interrogation that Daisuke obtains information about a person by having HEUSC scan a person's documentation item

or simply by asking HEUSC. 

We never see him doing that with Haru though (I also seriously doubt Haru would hand him any kind of ID, especially in the beginning lol), which brings me to the point that Daisuke probably already had obtained all of Haru's information before he had arrived in Japan; or maybe at the latest after the Bridge incident though I am pretty certain it was BEFORE arriving in Japan, just that maybe he didn’t know the face? Or maybe he even knew the face but didn’t care. (He probably knew more than just about the trauma and why Haru left the First Division, but Haru did not let him speak any further in that scene. It is unclear though, whether Daisuke would've kept talking or that being all of the information he would have delivered in that moment.)

Because Daisuke might already know from the start that their pasts are connected, while Haru is oblivious to it.

So, Daisuke wants to solve the murder of his parents, and he might think that the key to solving it might be by being around someone/doing it with someone who is also connected to it.

(I have no clue whether I am still making sense bc I haven’t slept and worked on this all night, going through the episodes again and again and at this point I am just extremely tired lol)

Like, I know by the fact that we are only 3 Episodes in that this might sound like a far reach BUT I seriously would not be surprised by this. The thing about storytelling is that at one point you would need to introduce the Motive™ of the story. Since animes have very limited time to tell the story in only 20 minutes, at least ALMOST everything in an episode sooner or later needs to give us that information; and honestly? They could’ve started this anime in ANY other way, but they chose to start by Daisuke telling us about his parents. And I honestly just think that it would be odd if that is not of greater importance in the whole story, so I think that that might be the motive that should be revealed within the first half of the anime. The devs seem like the kind of people who would give small hints for something like this (Daisuke’s parents, the 1998 Files) throughout the entire show and then SLAP it into the face of the ones who are unsuspecting in the second half of the anime, ESPECIALLY since they are so secretive with everything lmao I love them.

I am going to bed now, I’m so fucking tired lol

August 3, 2020

#fkbu #fkbul #fugou keiji bul #fugou keiji haru #fugou keiji #fugou keiji daisuke #fugou keiji ryo #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #haru katō #haru kato #haru katou #fkbu daisuke #daisuke kambe #kambe daisuke #ryo hoshino #hoshino ryo #balance unlimited #the millionare detective balance: unlimited #the millionaire detective

[the-starless-sky]

The Cat’s Whiskers x Akan Yatsura / “JUSTICE” voice drama sample 1

Iori: Sigh...

(Iori types on the computer.)

Iori: Well, with this much sales, we're gonna do well this month. If only 'that' matter will go well too. They’re the opponents, after all. They wont show their true colors easily. What should I do, I wonder? Asking a maneki-neko's [1] useless, huh.

(Zen knocks the door.)

Zen: Young Master, excuse me.

Iori: Oh, Zen. Good job out there.

Zen: What's wrong, Young Master? Holding a maneki-neko like that.

Iori: I was asking consulting with Boss Cat about life, haha.

Zen: Haha. What's up with that? Here's today's sales reports.

Iori: Ah, thank you.

Zen: Please look inside! It's amazing!

Iori: Yeah, understood.

Zen: Anne-kun's got the shining first rank in both sales and number of calls [2] again.

Iori: Aah, that's great.

Zen: And! It's CANDY's new record!

Iori: Is that so.

Zen: Young Master! This is an amazing thing! Aren't you surprised?

Iori: Yeah. Anne-chan's seriously a hard-worker, huh. Impressive, impressive.

Zen: Young Master...? Are you feeling unwell?

Iori: No, no. It's nothin’ like that, but... I was just absorbed in my thoughts.

Zen: If you're fine with me, then please talk to me anytime. I might be able to be of help, if only a little.

Iori: Ah... you're right. Well then, shall I talk? Oh. Before that, would you lock the door? 'Cause this ain't something the youngsters should hear.

Zen: O-oh, understood.

(Zen locks the door.)

Zen: Then, Young Master... what did you mean by 'thoughts'?

Iori: Zen, what d’ya think about Paradox Live?

Zen: Yes! It's a fair-and-square earnest battle! I will definitely prove that us Akan Yatsura's number one!

Iori: Haha. That's merry in itself, but... that's not what I meant. I was talking about how something about it smells fishy.

Zen: I'm sorry... I don't quite understand.

Iori: Actually, behind this championship... Alter Trigger Company might be involved.

Zen: Alter Trigger Company, you say...!?

Iori: Yeah. Just as ya know, they might be the mastermind behind the attack on our group. I think they're the ones who conspired behind the scenesーー

Zen: If that's true, then... let's carry out a raid, right now! We have to avenge the deaths of Boss and our comrades...!

Iori: Calm down, Zen. I understand your feelings. But, it's not the time for that yet.

Zen: But...!

Iori: I told ya to calm down, didn't I? I haven't grasped a conclusive evidence yet, so it's still nothin’ more than a conjecture. If we're going to kill them... let's do it for certain.

Zen: Yes.

Iori: We'll pretend we don't know anything, win, and get closer to the organizers. That's the safest plan we have now. If we raided now withoutーー

(From outside the room.)

Masaki: It's... locked.

(Reo tries to open the door.)

Reo: Ah, you're right. Hey, Big Bro! What's wrong~?

Iori: Zen! You don't have to tell them anything we talked about just now, alright.

(In the background.)

Satsuki: Oi, Big Bro! Big Bro!

Zen: Understood.

Iori: ‘Sup, what's up~!? You guys’re bein’ noisy~! I'll open it now, stop makin’ a fuss!

(Zen opens the door.)

Reo: Hehe. Huh? Zen-nii, you're here too?

Satsuki: Big Bro! We finished cleaning up the club!

Reo: Aah! Even though I'd planned to report...!

Hokusai: We made the club... sparkly clean.

Iori: Oh! Good job, ya three. You guys're a huge help. Well then, shall we close up an' go home?

Reo: Okay~!

Satsuki: Why did you lock the door, though, Big Bro?

Reo: Aah, this is why children are hard to handle. Of course they were talking about important club stuff!

Satsuki: What's that, shitty brat!? Who'd you call a child!?

Reo: There's nobody else but Satsuki-chan, isn't it!?

Satsuki: I told you not to call me with -chan, didn't I!?

Reo: Ahaha, he's angry, he's angry!

Satsuki: Oi!!! Stop there!!!

Reo: Satsuki-chaaan, I'm here~

Zen: Oi! Don't fight in front of Young Master!

Satsuki: You bastard...! I hafta strangle this guy once or he'dーーUwah!

Iori: Oof...!

Hokusai: Satsuki... are you okay?

Reo: I'm sorry, Big Bro... Did the maneki-neko crack somewhere...? Is it okay...?

Hokusai: Satsuki, too... are you okay?

Satsuki: Ah, yeah, I'm all fine. Um, I'm really sorry!!

Iori: It's 'kay, it's 'kay. Doesn't seem like it's cracked anywhere.

Zen: Satsuki-kun and Reo-kun! Why do you guys always, always...! Won't you guys learn, for once!?

Satsuki: ...'Kay.

Zen: What, Satsuki-kun? You have anything you wanna say?

Satsuki: ...Nothing, Sir.

Zen: Reo-kun! I'm also talking to you!

Reo: Okaaay~

Iori: Cats, huh... if it's him, he might know something.

Zen: In any case! Reflect properly! Understand!?

Reo & Satsuki: Understood...

Iori: Now, now. Nobody got hurt, so just leave it at that.

Zen: No, that's not good! Come, you two, apologize properly to Young Master once again!

Reo & Satsuki: Big Bro... Sorry...

Iori: Come on...~ I hate it when the atmosphere's damp at the end of the day. Oh, yeah! To change the mood, shall we go out together?

Satsuki: Seriously!? I wanna go!

Reo: Me too!

Hokusai: If everyone goes, I want to go too...

Iori: Zen, of course ya'll join too, right?

Zen: It can't be helped, understood. I will go, too.

Reo: Yaay~ Night out~!

_

(Satsuki opens the door.)

Satsuki: Hey! We're coming in!

Shiki: Welcoー ah...!

Ryuu: Beep, beep! Shoo~! It's an enemy attack, a mob!

Yohei: Tch. You guys, huh? Sorry, but we're closed already. Go somewhere else.

Iori: You're so cold! Couldn't ya let us have a glass? Huh, danna? [3]

Shiki: W-why... is Akan Yatsura's members...?

Saimon: Shiki, step back.

Yohei: You... heh, it's been a while, hasn't it?

Iori: Hahaha! Danna, have ya been healthy? Ya even became a full-fledged bar master! Haha! We came here to greet y'all before the battle!

(Iori slaps Yohei's back.)

Yohei: O-oi! Stop that!

Hokusai: Ah... Ryuu...!

Ryuu: Hmm? Huh...? I feel like I've seen you guys somewhere... uhm... Oh, yeah! Monkey, pheasant, and dog! [4]

Satsuki: This ain’t Momotarou! And I'm not a monkey! Don't look down on me!

Hokusai: Ryuu... you haven't changed.

Yohei: Ryuu. Leave the cleaning and just bring in the signboard.

Ryuu: Okay~!!! Hey, hey, get outta the way!!! Ryuu-kun's coming through! Vroom, vro-ro-room, vroom, vroom!

Zen: Oops!

Ryuu: Get out, outta the way!!

Zen: Haha, he's really energetic.

Reo: So? Can we go in or what?

Saimon: Haha. Yes, of course. You've came all the way to greet us - there's no way we'll send you back.

Ryuu: Welcome to Bar 4/7.

Shiki: Please sit in the counter seat.

_

Zen: Well then, I'll have a lemon sour, please.

Yohei: Gotcha. Iori's gimlet, right?

(Yohei makes the drinks and put the glasses on the table.)

Iori: Yeah, thanks.

(Iori drinks.)

Iori: Ah-ha~ As I thought, alcohol hafta be this! Oh, yeah! Please serve something for our kids, too.

Reo: Then, I want a pudding a la mode!

Yohei: We have no such things.

Reo: Eeh, you don't!? Then, tapioca milk tea!

Yohei: Sigh...

Satsuki: I'll have... uh, that... I'll have bourbon.

Shiki: H-huh!? B-but...

Satsuki: Huuh!? What!?

Shiki: A-ah... um...

Zen: Hmph!

(Zen hits Satsuki.)

Satsuki: That hurts!! What's that for!?

Zen: Don't get carried away! You can drink alcohol after you're 20. Juice's enough for Satsuki-kun!

Satsuki: Tch. Fine!

Ryuu: You want some kibi-dango? [5]

Satsuki: I told you we're not Momotarou!

Ryuu: Even though you'd get a bonus of becoming Ryuu-kun's servant...

Satsuki: All the more reason for not needing it!

Ryuu: Then, Kuu-chan, what about you? [6]

Hokusai: Mm... I'm fine with anything.

Ryuu: You're fine with anything? Then, I'll give you Charismatic Bartender Ryuu-kun's Special Drink!

You are! The member of this drink! Become 100 times more cheerful! There's no choice but to drink this late in the game! Soda and coffee, tabasco, and oof, it's spicy! And to top it off, matcha, Kuu-chan's green!

Ryuu-kun's special drink for Kuu-chan... along with the smell of gutter.

(Ryuu-kun puts the glass on the counter.)

Hokusai: Thanks for the drink.

(Hokusai drinks.)

Hokusai: It's terrible. But good job for making it with all your might, Ryuu. There, there.

(Hokusai pats Ryuu.)

Ryuu: Riiight!? That's 'cause Ryuu-kun's a genius! I'm scared of my own talent~!

Yohei: Jeez... how'd he manage to make something like that?

Saimon: Haha. You're right.

(Satsuki's stomach grumbles.)

Satsuki: Aah... I'm kinda hungry. Hey, uncle! Don't you have anything to eat?

Yohei: Haa? Look, what do you think this place is?

Iori: Oh, then, Satsuki, I'll give you pocket money. Go and eat ramen or something with everyone else!

Satsuki: Huh!? Seriously!?

Iori: Yeah. 'Raimen' should still be open by now.

Ryuu: How nice~ Ryuu-kun wants to eat, too! With lots and lots and lots of garlic on top of the noodle~!

Iori: Ah, I see. Then go with them, with that kid, too.

Ryuu: Yaay! Yay, yay, yay! We gonna eat ramen! He said you can come too, Shiki! Nice, isn't it!?

Shiki: Ah... but, I'd feel bad...

Reo: You're coming, right, Ando-kun?

Hokusai: Let's go together...

Satsuki: Hm? 'Sup with you guys? How'd you know his name?

Reo: Haa? He's from the same school as us!

Satsuki: Seriously!?

Hokusai: Yeah... we're part time students, but Ando-kun's full-time. [7]

Shiki: Y-yes... we're from the same school... more or less.

Reo: We pass by him a lot on the way to school, don't tell me you didn't notice at all, Satsuki?

Satsuki: Huh... Ando, you bastard, what are you being reserved for? Are ya makin' fun of us, thinking 'I don't wanna eat with part time students'!? Ha!?

Shiki: A-ah, uh, I didn't mean...

Iori: Satsuki!

Satsuki: W-what!?

Iori: Stop pickin' strange fights, be good pals and go!

Satsuki: Eeh? Okay.

Saimon: Sorry for having you take care of our children as well.

Iori: 'skay, 'skay. Something like this's fine, once in a while.

Reo: Haha! Well then, we're going! Thank you, Big Bro!

Saimon: Everyone, be careful on the way.

(Reo opens the door and walks out with everyone.)

Ryuu: Happy and Macho, thank you, obbligato!

(Ryuu walks out.)

Iori: Happy... does he mean me?

Zen: Macho... hm... not bad.

Iori: Zen...

Yohei: Sigh... it's finally quiet.

Iori: Nah, I'm really s'prised! I knew you're working after leaving our group, but, haha, ya've mellowed down more than I thought!

Yohei: Hah. Even I'm not gonna be a child forever.

Saimon: Haha. Then, it'd be nice if you get even more mellower.

Yohei: Shut up. Don't say useless things.

Zen: Um, Kanbayashi-san, excuse me. May I get another cup?

Yohei: Yeah, of course. You want something different?

Zen: Well, since I'm here already, something low-sugar, please.

Yohei: Then, it's around tequila... gin, or brandy, huh?

Zen: Hm? This maneki-neko on the counter... it looks very similar to Young Master's.

Iori: Ah, that, huh? Not just similar, they're the exact same thing.

Zen: Eh, is that so...? Why is there the same thing here?

(Yohei lit his cigarette and smokes.)

Yohei: This maneki-neko... was given to me by the boss.

Saimon: 'Boss'? Who is that?

Yohei: Boss is... the head of Suiseki-group who I was indebted to.

Iori: There was a time when we worked as a pair, danna and I.

Yohei: Yeah, yeah. Back when we manage the cabaret club and became bodyguards.

_

Iori: What's up, danna? Piano's not your style, right? What's up suddenly? [8]

Yohei: Haha. I just thought I'd dabble in it a bit. 'Cause it seems I have the sense for it.

Iori: Who told you that kinda thing?

(From far away.)

Mob-AT: I'll order one more tower. [9]

Cabaret girls: Really? Yay~! Tower~!

Mob-AT: Let's go!

Cabaret girls: You're the best~!

Iori: Oh, my, my. Seems like that guy's being flashy today, too. Look, he keeps ordering the good bottles. If we said Boss-style, he's 'merry', isn't he. [10]

Yohei: Hm? Oh, it's the guys from Alter Trigger Company.

Iori: Seriously, they keep coming without getting bored at all. Well, that's a good thing for us, though.

(Sounds of glass breaking.)

Cabaret girls: Kya!? What's going on?

Iori: Huh?

Mobs: Oi, you there, stop fuckin' around! The fuck's with this club? What kinda shitty service is this, huh!?

Yohei: What's up with those guys...?

Mobs: Under whose permission is this shitty club operating!? Oi!?

Yohei: Is he some other group's guys?

Cabaret girls: Ah...!

Cabaret girls: Hey, what's wrong with everyone? Calm down...!

Iori: That doesn't matter right now. The Alter Trigger guys are currently drinking comfortably. Before the rating of the club drops, we’d better do something.

(Sounds of glass breaking and alarms going off.)

Cabaret girls: What...?

Iori: Customers, just now, a small fire started in the kitchen. Our staffs will lead the way, so please evacuate immediately! Cast members, please don't go out and show the way to the customers.

Yohei: This way! Please calm down.

Mobs: Oi, bastard, what's this-

Iori: You guys, stay here, alright?

Mobs: Stop fuckin'... around...

Iori: Alright?

Mobs: Ugh...

Yohei: Oi, Iori. I got them all out.

Iori: Yeah, thanks for that, danna. With this, there's only us around.

Yohei: What the hell are you guys planning? Messing around?

Iori & Yohei: Let's hear all about it.

Notes

[1] Maneki-neko or ‘beckoning cat’, said to invite customers and luck.

[2] Calls - since it’s cabaret club, essentially you can choose which hostess you want to accompany you drinking. So that means Anne gets called for by the customers the most times.

[3] Danna. There are a lot of ways to translate this, one of them being ‘master’ or ‘boss’ - the nuance is almost like ‘bro’, but more respectful. Since both ‘(gang) boss’ and ‘(bar) master’ has been used, to avoid confusion I opted for danna in italics.

[4] Monkey, pheasant, and dog are Momotarou’s companion in the folklore Momotarou. Google it up!

[5] Kibi-dango is the food Momotarou gave to the three animals that accompany him.

[6] Kuu-chan. I’m pretty sure this nickname comes from how Ryuu calls Masaki a ‘pheasant’, since birds cry ‘coo, coo’.

[7] Part-time schedule or teiji-sei is a school schedule that started in the evening for people who wants to get a high school diploma but has to work in the day for a living. Full-time, vice versa, is the usual schedule (school starts in the morning and ends in the evening).

[8] I don’t know if it shows in this translation, but in the flashback Iori speaks in a normal, unaccented way. So yes, he’s one million times cooler (in my opinion!).

[9] Tower, as in champagne tower. It’s likely the most expensive thing you can order in a club.

[10] Merry, or gokigen, is also Iori’s catchphrase in the current timeline of the series.

[*] Mob names. ‘Mob-AT’ is the guy from Alter Trigger. I don’t know where the other mobs are from unless specified.

I have no words except Iori... Iori, oh my god.

I’m sorry for being mean to you before. I love you. Not as much as I do Allen, but I love you.

#paradox live #translation #drama cd translation #the cat's whiskers #akan yatsura

[anothermrvictormoron]

Hello guys! I just figured out something during quarantine and thought "Why not posting it?". Here is my first headcon about the boys of the anime game play "Mr Love Queen's Choice" . I hope that u're enjoying it as much as I did while writing it! Requests are welcome so please let me know what u want to read at my page in the future ! Stay healthy!!

Their reactions when they find out that MC is smoking

Victor:

+ Oh hell no trouble is incoming

+ Definitely recognise it pretty fast *he recognises the slightest change of your behaviour, movements, gaze and even your smell so don't even try to hide it*

+ Would be very furious bc he wouldn't let u harm ur body in any way

+ Worries about u althought he wouldn't admit it

+ "How can you be so dumb and risk your life like that? I won't accept that."

+ Lecturing u all day and night about what you're doing to your body *he's doing it bc he really cares for you and loves you so don't be too mad*

+ Begging for him to stop his lectures won't help u

+ Will find all cigarettes you're trying to hide from him

+ Will find even the hardest hideouts

+ Seeing the doctor will be part of ur day

+ He'll make sure that u're going to that appointment

+ But may god be with you when he finds u smoking a cigarette

+ Would probably slap the cigarette out of your hand and crush it under his feet

+ Run.

+ He wouldn't give u any cash for cigarettes

+ "I'm not funding ur addiction, moron."

+ Would even change his pin if u're even thinking of stealing his black card

+ Would force u to go to one of the best and most expensive detoxification clinic he can find *if necessary*

+ When he's at work he would call u more often to make sure that u're not smoking

+ Would even force Goldman to spy on u when u have ur break *he doesn't get paid enough for this*

+ U would recognise it pretty fast bc Goldman isn't the type for such things *still doesn't get enough paid for this*

+ "Victor why was Goldman's car quickly driving off when I got out of the building to have my break?"

+ "Dummy, otherwise i would worry. I can't always be by our side to stop ur shenanigans."

Gavin:

+ He would recognise it from the start

+ It's hopeless to hide or deny it *birdcop knows everything*

+"You know what you're doing to you body, right?"

+ Would try really hard to convince u to stop smoking

+ Getting upset and nervous when he sees u smoking one of this health destroying things

+"What was the trigger that led u to smoking? U wanna tell me?"

+ He wouldn't have even thought for a second that a person like u could start smoking

+ "How long have you planned to keep this a secret from me?"

+ Would definitely talk with u a lot about it all day

+ Hardly trying to understand why u're smoking

+ If necessary he would force u to hand him out all your cigarettes to prevent u from any damages u could get from smoking

*beeing overprotective*

+ Trying to search something you could replace smoking with

+ He would tell Minor to keep an eye on u when he's not around *althought Minor isn't the best choice for him*

+ Minor: "Uhh okay so...what should I do when she's smoking a cigarette?"

+ "I don't know just do something."

+ When he's at work he pays a bit more attention to his phone

+ If Minor is sending him a message prepare urself for a looooonnngggg conversation when he's home

+ "Then stop her immediately! I don't care how just do something!"

+ Minor while freaking out "Okokok I'll do my best bro!"

+ Relieved a bit when Minor was successful

+ At home pulling u onto his lap while having a looonnnggg conversation

+ Confessing to u that he told Minor to keep an eye on u

+ "Pumpkin don't be mad. I just want u to be healthy."

Lucien:

+ He knows it right from the start

+ Isn't really pleased about it

+ "U wanna tell me why u've decided to smoke? Maybe I can help u."

+ Worries about your health

+ Would explain u every detail about what one cigarette could actually do to ur body while drinking a cup of ur favorite tea with you

+ Hoping that u think about quitting to smoke by telling u everything that could happen to ur body when u don't quit it *when i say EVERYTHING, I mean EVERYTHING*

+ Even scares u by telling u all these scary things he knows *if necessary*

+ Keeping an eye on u when he's around u

+ "U don't smoke a cigarette, do u?"

+ Taking it out of ur hand to crush it in an ashtray

+ Would find any hideouts with cigarettes *U're an open book to him so no chance to hide them*

+ Scary but he knows when u're smoking at work and sends u a message when u do so

+ "U're enjoying ur break?"

+ U're wondering if he did hire someone to spy on u but u couldn't figure out someone *actually he's the one observing u *

+ Feeling a bit weird by that thought

+ "Would he do something like that?"

+ U couldn't manage to hide it by ur visits at the orphanage

+ "Miss why are u smelling like smoke every time u come here? Are u smoking?"

+ "Uh...uh uhm y-yeah but please don't tell Lucien about it! He would get angry if u would tell him!"

+ The kids would at first shut their mouth about it but u think Lucien would be that naive and dumbfounded? *Haha guess what*

+ The kids are telling him what u're doing when u come here because they're royal to him and love him so much *also because he promised them to bring some candies the next time he comes to the orphanage *

+ "Silly, u think u could have hide it from me?"

Kiro:

+ Wouldn't even dare thinking of u smoking a cigarette

+ Not his beloved Miss Chips!! *protecting mode activated*

+ As he's actually seeing u smoking he can't believe his eyes *blinking several times**Kiro.exe stopped working for a moment*

+ "Miss Chips you're smoking?"

+ Would be worried sick of u and our health

+ Would do anything to provide u from smoking

+ Would even write a song about it if he feels like it

+ Asking u every day how you feel

+ Panicking a bit bc he doesn't know what he could/should do

+ "You should definitely quit smoking MC. It would be best for you."

+ You actually think about stopping to smoke just for him but it costs a lot of discipline

+ He would love to help and support you by quitting to smoke

+ Being very moody

+ Secretly throwing them into the trash can or hiding them so u're not able to smoke even a single one

+ Even hiding the ashtray and the lighters if necessary

+ "Kiro where are my cigarettes?? And even my ashtray and my lighters are gone?!!"

+ "I won't tell u! U should care about your health more!"

+ Missing ur sweet smell when he buries his face onto ur shoulder when u're hugging each other

+ Does even hate u a bit for starting to smoke *pout pout pout*

+ Would sneak off of work to surprise u at ur lunch breaks if he manages that Savin won't notice it

+ "Come on MC u don't need cigarettes in ur life...You just need me!"

+ "I just need them to calm down Kiro! They aren't as important as u!"

+ Taking u into a big embrace and actually kinda happy u said that into his face

+ Making sure u're alone as he places some ass sweet kisses onto ur lips *being a bit overwhelmed but very happy*

+ " U're also very important to me and that's why I'm doing this things...u understand that?"

#mlqc #mr love mobile #li zeyan #love and producer #mlqc headcanon #mlqc victor #mlqc imagine #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #mlqc ling xiao #mr love gavin #mr love victor #mr love lucien #mr love kiro #mr love queen's choice #mr love haku #ling xiao #bai qi #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro

[coldflasher]

For the meta writing asks: 1, 4,11 please!

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Well with it being me I have approx 938382 WIPs haha, so i'll TRY to give a brief outline haha (*note, this did NOT end up being brief at all, a thousand apologies.)

- Hades/Persephone ColdWestAllen fic. Len is Hades, Barry is Persephone, Iris is kiiiinda Demeter in that she represents home and family etc etc. Basically, Barry needs Len's help and makes a deal that he'll spend six months out of the year with Len in the criminal underworld (see what I did there?), paying off his debt, and then the other six months with Team Flash. It's gonna be ColdWestAllen endgame but there's a LOT of angst and mess before they get there >:) Progress on this one is steady, but it's gonna be LONG, I'm estimating at least 250k when all's said and done. As for what I love about it - basically everything? This one is my baby and I love her, mostly cos I've never written coldwestallen before and they're an absolute delight, but also cos it's so angsty and complex! Len and Iris' dynamic is probably my absolute fave part though

- Body Swap Fic - Been working on this one today! Len and Barry are enemies with benefits. They swap bodies during a run-in with a meta and neither particularly wants their friends and family to find out about their, ahem, arrangement, so they agree to just... pretend to be each other until they can figure out how to switch back. Predictably, chaos ensues (Len is a terrible CSI, Barry is an even worse crime boss, it's a whole thing.) I'm not very far into this one, only a few chapters, but I'm obsessed with it :D What I love about this one is that (if I do say so myself) it's really funny. I'm leaning hard into the puns and ridiculousness and it's a real comedy of errors so I'm having a blast!

- Michael Snart Fic - This is a continuation of my super long fic, Aftermath, which was basically a rewrite of s1 but Barry and Len were dating the whole time. This fic is basically my combined rewrite of s5 (which I loved) and 6a (which i did not.) Aka Barry and Len's adopted kid shows up from the future, inadvertently triggers Crisis (which is totally different to how it panned out in the show) and they all have to handle the fallout. This one has kind of stalled - I have every intention of going back to it, I have maybe 20k-ish written, but no progress for a while now. My fave thing about it is probably Len having meltdowns bc he thinks he's a crappy dad but he's actually a surprisingly good one (aside from the fact that he sent a teenager back in time to stop Crisis by himself but we'll just ignore that haha)

- The Vegas Fic. Barry and Len get whammied by a meta and fall in love and immediately become convinced that running off to get married in Vegas is the Best Idea Ever, and Team Flash and the Rogues have to chase them across the country to try and catch them before they tie the knot. When I tell you I've been working on this on and off (mostly off though 😅) since 2017... I wrote the first draft in summer 2017 when i was Very Depressed, so it was BAD. I rewrote maybe 90% of it during first lockdown and that draft was Pretty Good, Actually, but then I... put it aside again and I haven't worked on it since. I just need to pull my finger out cos it's so close to done at this point it's just ridiculous. What do I love about it? Well, the sheer ridiculousness of it, mostly. The ridiculous PDA between Barry and Len. The way the love spell wears off at the worst POSSIBLE moment. The Vegas hijinks. It's just great, honestly

- Len/Savitar One Shot. This one's an AU, kinda like if Doomworld Len and Savitar wound up together. Everyone thinks Savitar is just Len's boy toy and he's the weak link in the Rogues, so they kidnap him to use against Len and discover they have made a terrible mistake... this one's mostly drafted, it's a short one so shouldn't take too long if I really put my mind to it, just needs finishing up.

There's probably more if I were to wrack my brains but I think that's quite enough to be going on with 😂

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Okay, bear in mind that this is unedited and needs cleaning up, but I like it so far! The prose is ~fancy~ haha. I feel like sometimes in my writing you can really see the influence of my degree and it's always nice to see that I got some use out of my 9k a year lmao. This one's from Hades/Persephone!

The change in him was immediate, the sudden stillness. Frozen like one of Len’s icicles. The chill in him only intensified, his unease ramping higher like the music in a horror movie reaching a new crescendo, the scrape of bow against violin string as intense and wrong as bone scraping together. For a moment they were still as a photograph. Then Len realised that Barry wasn’t still at all. He had begun to tremble, not the usual overflow of energy translating into static, but a full-body shiver like an animal trapped in a predator’s view. His expression hunted, not so much the animal caught in the trap but the animal after hours of captivity, with the metal teeth of the trap sunk into skin like a vice, like his skin was the tree growing around a foreign object.

“Run,” Barry croaked.

Len glanced sharply at him. He’d seen Barry happy, angry, upset, in pain, frustrated, even anxious - but he’d never seen him scared. Not this terror. It was the kind of fear that lived in you, a primal thing, like the fear of monsters under the bed. Something lurking in the dark with nowhere to run.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

I mean, everything. This fandom - and other writers in general - are scary talented. But mostly I think I envy anyone who has the ability to focus on one thing at once cos my brain NEVER takes a break. I'm always having new ideas and I want to write ALL OF THEM and consequently nothing ever gets finished.

Thank you :D

Ask me a question about my fics/writing? :D

#long post for ts #tldr #this one's a big boi #my fics #i could talk about my fics all day tbh #shame i can't say the same thing about writing them shsgdggds

[afterthelastreset]

Rules Of One’s Soul Ch 1 Game Starts

(WARNING!! PLEASE READ: Mentioning of past abuse in this story, don't know if this counts as a trigger but just in case I'm putting this here.. Also Rouxls has a slight fear of touch, and bad anxiety and some stress in this story. Don't know if those count as triggers but might as well mention it in case. But nothing beyond that. You have been warned. Mak belongs to @coffincrawler)

What would you do if your job was to deal with a power hungry king who could snap at any moment? Quit? Haha! Only if thou wanted to end up in the dungeon or worse. But also that you were completly put in charge of something you had barely any knowlege of, forced to babysit a hyper mini king, and had to do whatever the king wanted at a moments notice any hour of any day. Oh! And this was all a 24/7 job. Congratulations. ......Being the duke was highly overrated but, nobility wasnt without sacrifice. Which was what he was ready to put up with when he agreed to first being the king's royal advisor. The king was always much of a brute, big, mean, and not afraid to show his displeasure for anything he didn't find to his liking. But at least the Queen always managed to calm him down-....Ah. Her highness- She was always such a caring and kind spirited lady. How she could possibly tolerate let alone love that big brute was a mystery in of itself, but then again he wasn't in any place to judge. Now was he? He was just the royal adviser(more like royal errand boy) to the king, but still he admired many things about her. Her courage, her endless kindness,....her beauty-...*ahem* Anyways, things were going well in thine kingdom for a while. Sure the constant nagging and intimidation of the king would get tiring but he was used to constant pressure from higher ranking people. The other three kings and queens were much more pleasent to be around, sometimes the neighboring Durrmee Royal family would visit. The Spades even eventually announced the coming of their soon to be child after a while...Huh. It seemed like everyone was starting to settle down it seems. Unfortuneatly nothing like this lasted forever- Everything changed the day the knight came. The Queen disappeared. The king went mad! The former kings locked away, the neighboring kingdom attacked, the foutain appearing, and the king slowly descending into more....destruction. The poor prince. He didn't deserve any of this. Noone deserved any of this actually. It seemed madness spread to others as well. Not too long after the jester was caught trying to slay an innocent bystander and was locked within the safest cell constructed. Not too long after that the royal magician quit along with some of the other staff...or thrown in the already crowded cells. But it didn't make any difference to him. He just had to keep on smiling and agreeing for his own sake. Day after day. Smile n agree. Smile n Agree.....Hopefully nothing bad happened. But enough rambling about his past. You dear readers are here to read the tale of his future are you not? Well then. It all began with one scared rudinn on one rainy night-

The rain had been pretty aweful this season. It only lasted a week or two, but it was always pretty dull to watch. Luckily he had been given of paperwork by his majesty to last hours to keep him occupied! Isn't his majesty so consideret? ..*ahem* anyways- He was swamped with paperwork, which was why he jumped when a knock came from the large wooden door. He obviously flinched and looked at the door. After a few more moments of silence, a timid voice finally broke it:

"...Uh..Sir D-Duke," a male voice sounded muffled by the door, "C-C-Can I come in? W-We have a uh-....s-small problem." The blue duke let out a small sigh of relief it wasn't who he intiatlly thought it was and gave a small smile. "Of courseth. Cometh in soilder."There was another pause, before the door creaked open and said rudinn soilder stuck their head in. The Duke smiled assuringly before waving his hand in a come in motion, to which the rudinn seemed comfortable enough to slither in on his command. "Noweth. What caneth I do for thou this-"...He paused before looking at the clock on the wall. Good golly is was already almost midnight. "...Night?" The rudinn hesitated at first, wringing his hands together and shaking slightly. Even though Rouxls was a much better boss than the king was, he still had to report every progress TO the king and that's why most were nervous when it came to giving the daily reports. "W-Well Sir bossman. Sir. U-Um...I came t-to deliver the day's r-report?" The duke stared at him. "Now? Tis nearly thine next day. Why hast thou come to deliver it so latest?" The rudinn shrank more. "Well...T-That's the problem,Sir Puzzle man. Um....We're h-having a problem w-with one of the prisoners? " Rouxls's confusion must've reflected on his face because the rudinn winced. "It's the um....J-Jester, S-Sir." "Oh..Him." The mad jester was always troublesome. Ever since his capture and imprisonment, he's always found new ways to scare the guards. Babbling about how the King was merely using them all as pawns like in a game, or howling about chaos or something. He never really recalled the jester much, purple jolly fellow, always getting into trouble. Ounce put green hair dye in his shampoo bottle as a prank-.....He'd never forget that, his hair was an ugly green for a month. The guards were pretty freaked out by him, but he didn't see the big deal as long as we was behind bars. "So what thou's problem?" "Um.....H-He's acting....really strange tonight. L-Like..r-really freaky. And uh....No one w-wants to give him his food." "Well, then thy answer tis simple really. Let him go hungry. Maybe that willst teaches him a lesson about his behavior." The rudinn looked even more distressed if possible. ''Um...We kinda can't? The King's d-doing his w-w-weekly insp-p-pection tomorrow, Sir. A-And he gets r-really angry when I-it's not done." Rouxls froze at those words. Weekly inspection...? oh no- HOW COULD HE HAVE FORGOTTEN?! Well- He has been swamped in paper work for the last few hours, so he guessed he could've forgotten,, but the king wouldn't take his excuse. His body began to shake lightly from the memories of the king's anger. Teeth bared, claws out, pain on his face- He immediately shook his head and looked back to the Rudinn with a stern face. "W-Well getest someone down there and feed him something!" "W-We can't." "Why not?" "N-No one wants to go down there, b-but we don't want to see the k-king mad either so..Um...W-We were hoping YOU would do it?" They stared at each other, before Rouxls groaned and moved his eyes down to the mountain of paperwork that STILL needed to be finished before tomorrow. Too many things were always thrown at him weren't they? But...he was always used to bearing the brunt of the hard work, might as well go do it and get it over with. What could've been so hard about feeding one prisoner? He sighed and reached a hand up to run through his white hair. "Fineth. Just..telleth me where I can findest this 'freaky'prisoner thou speakest of?" *********************************************************************************************** DING! The duke made an obvious flinch when he felt the elevator stopped and made the comical dinging noise. He certainly wasn't expecting the sudden darkness greeting him when the doors opened up, luckily there were torches along the side of the darkened staircase that lead down into...well, he guessed the cell, but this seemed a little extreme for one prisoner. Maybe a suitable punishment for the king- He shook his head and meekly leaned his head out a bit to peer past the darkness. He couldn't see anything except barely the stairs and what looked like bars maybe? But he didn't see or hear any evidence of anyone down there? Perhaps this Jevil person was sleeping? Made no difference to him. That just means it'll be easier for him. Taking a deep breath, he slowly stepped out of the elevator and onto the stairs. ..Nothing! Sighing, he straightened up his back and made his way down more confidently. There was nothing to worry about. Rudinns always worry too much anyways, getting him to do all the work when he already had so much to do. He muttered to himself irritatedly, nothing made him more irritated than being interrupted in the middle of work. This would take all night at this rate. The poor duke failed to see the small shadow stirring in the darkness below, or the two small yellow dots that peeked out at him curiously. The yellow pupils blinked up at him from the dark, and a fanged smile slowly grew across his face. OH! A new visitor! Different from the usually rudinns or occasional hathy who usually just dropped his food off and left as quickly as they could, quite rude not to say hello. But THIS one- The worm's biolumeniscent hair shone in the dark and sparkled as he walked down the stairs towards him, a scowl on his face. He muttered some things under his breath he couldn't quite make out, but that didn't ,matter to him. It'd been so long since he'd seen a new face, though he looked very familiar....Hey. Wasn't this person the prince's babysitter or something? Oh! Wait a second. It was the funny fellow called Kaard wasn't it. Yes. Rouxls kaard. Biggest stick in the mud other than the spade. He chuckled lightly remembering the many pranks he used to pull. Always had this serious aura around him. No fun that one. This was going to be fun! He held what looked like the usual mush of food he was given to eat, no doubt to deliver it like the rest, but the way he looked so done with life already- It was too hilarious! He finally let out a stream of high pitched giggles at the sight, just as the duke was bending over to set the tray down by the bars. Making the worm freeze and drop the tray the last few inches to the ground with a clatter. He stared directly into the cage where to his horror, two yellow pupils were staring only a few feet away. The two silently stared at each other until one spoke. "Well, well. A new visitor, visitor to my little freedom!" The pupils blinked. The voice behind it sounded a little too pleased to be seeing him. "What brings you all the way down, down?" The worm didn't say anything. So when the pupils suddenly sprinted at him, he yelped and slammed his eyes shut for cover. ….When nothing happened, he slowly reopened them, but he wished he hadn't. Because staring at him a feet or two from his face was the purple imp from his faint memories, but he never remembered him being so terrifying! When he still didn't answer, the imp hummed. "What's the matter, matter? I got your tongue, tongue silly man? BWAHAHA!" "..duke.." He paused. "Hmm. What was that?" "I-I-..." The duke licked his lips nervously. A few sweat beads of slime ran down his obviously frightened looking face. "It's D-Duke to t-t-thou, P-Peasant." The thing cooed. "Oh. I see you've obtained a title.Hehehe." Somehow he shifted his body to lay on his side in mid air, with his head in his hand. "A title is just that, that. A silly little thing to call yourself, yourself.~...But now that begs a question. What brings the duke, duke to my humble little freedom? Freedom." The duke was still obviously still frozen with fear with his eyes wide as plates, but confusion still seeped it's way into him. Freedom? He calls being in a cell in the middle of the dark feet under ground for years free? He really was mad wasn't he? He really should get out of there soon, but the fact this crazy person was still staring at him like prey was quite unsettling- Wait. He asked something right? Why he was down there? "I-I...T-Thou has scared m-mine workers into not giving thee substance...*ahem* W-With t-t-thine king checking p-p-progress tomorrow, I-I can't afford m-mistakes." The floating man hummed and it finally accured to Rouxls that he was balancing on his tail. What oddity is he? "What would one little me, me do to anger such a man?" …..Rouxls blinked. Certainly not the question he was expecting, but- "Art thou insane? Doth thee knowest what thine king w-w-will doth to mineself if thy rules are not followed accordingly?!" The jester merely shrugged. "I haven't the faintest idea,idea. But life is too chaotic without the stress, stress of trying to follow all of HIS rules, rules. Now isn't it?" "On thine contrary. I wouldst rather keepest mine head on mine shoulders than to risk displeasing his majesty. Following the rules is needed on a daily basis." At that he let off more high pitched cackling. "After all these years, years he still has the pieces of his never ending cruelity, cruelity. *tch* And they say Im mad and foolish." "Thoust tried to killeth thine king. Of courseth he woulst locks thee up like the traitor thou are!" The fear was slowly starting to be replaced with annoyance at the feind. "I have wasted enough of mine time here. "He slowly leaned back up to a standing position. Thou haseth thine food, perhaps you'd be wiser than to scareth off thine food supply. Or else starve to death." His ears perked up. "Is that a threat I hear oh duke?~" "Taketh it how thou wants to! Im nay afraid of a mad fool trapped behind bars of coldst steele." "Is that so?" His eyes lit up with an unknown glee. ''Well, then how about a little numbers, numbers game?The rules are simple to play, play?~" Rouxls gave him an even more annoyed look. He had important work to do and this fool wanted to play games. "Nay! I haveth no time for your idotic foolishness- EEEEE!" A death grip had wrapped his wrist and attatched to it was the smiling lunatic with a gigantic grin, which only grew hearing the Duke's squeal and the way his confidence has easily been returned to fear. "Oh, come now, Duke.~ It's simple really. All you have to do is run while I count how long your-"

Rouxls let out a squeak as a pulsation ripped through their bodies and simaltaniously pulled his hand away from the equally startled imp, who's tail pulled him back a few feet and his eyes widened at the sudden feeling. Rouxls's soul thumped hard against his chest to the point he thought it was going to burst from his chest, then as suddenly as it came it left and his soul slowed down and his lungs heaved out. Rouxls stood there. Blinking. D-Did he...Did he just have a soul attack? B-B-But then, where was the pain? HE should've been flopping on the ground like a fish. Maybe an anxiety attack? Nay. Those never felt like electricity was surging through him. It must've been a giant zap of static cling. The two just stood there as the effects wore off and slowly looked at each other. Jevil was the first to move as he slowly looked down at his paw, his button eye spinning. He stared at his paw for a moment before closing it and giving Rouxls a wide eyes look. Rouxls could see the blue shape of his soul slightly from under his clothes as it faded away....Ok. Weird side affects for static cling. "You?" The voice brought Rouxls back to Jevil as he blinked in confusion. "I-I..I what?" Jevil didn't seem to notice he said anything and instead look back down at his hands in pure confusion. "I didn't think I'd ever see the day, day...and with someone so...opposite, opposite!" He turned back to the kaard with a newfound glee on his face. That spooked and confused him to no end. In one swift moment, the thing lunged at the bars and reached a clawed hand out. ROuxls obviously yelped and tried to back away but the clawed hand caught onto the front of his shirt. With a hard yank, the duke was slammed against the bars and once again a spike of absolute terror washed over him. Yellow eyes looked at him. What he didn't know was that Jevil was drinking in every detail of his face. He never noticed but the duke seemed to have dawned a few scars to his otherwise flawless features, must've been a fight or two. He surely was a fascinating one wasn't he? Oooh! He could feel his soul lighting up with this new found "How marvelous, marvelous! A new player and game, game!" Genuine excitment rang through a genuine happy smile, though the terrified Rouxls didn't seem to notice. His soul beat against his check a mile a minute! He could burst from what he purseived as fear any second, not that jevil noticed. "Ehehehehe! So this is where it all begins, begins! " He HAD to get out of there! He pulled his head back and got his arms up ready to shove this pest off himself- He froze. Something wet slid against the side of his cheek and he gave off a high pitched whine. His body shook lightly- And then he thrashed uncontrollably. His brain having one goal. GET AWAY FROM HIM! Jevil was taken aback and loosened his grip on the blue man. The duke fell backwards and instantly began to shuffle back- "Wha- Hey! Wait, wait!" He didn't listen. Stumbling and desperately trying to breath, he ran back up the stairs towards the elevator and into it. The up button was spammed practically into nothing and the similar ding noise was heard as the doors slowly closed off the darkness. As the machine shifted as it slowly went up, the duke collapsed against the side wall and slid down to the floor breathing heavily. What the actually f*ck was that?!

…………………...……...……......……...……...…...…......………............…...…...…...…...…...…..................…...……......……...…...……………......………...…...…... He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't be doing ANY of this. What would one think if they knew that the King's appointed Duke of Puzzles, caretaker of the prince, and master of law and order would be feeling absolutely weak in the presence of an insolent clown?! NO! He wasn't weak! Rouxls Kaard was anything but weak. He was just....uh..a little unprepared for the absolute madness of the knave when they first encountered. Yes. That's it! Not even the great Duke of Puzzles could get all first impressions right.

He wasn't sure of the strange feeling in his gut whenever his mind revolved around back to THAT night. The strength of those ghastly hands latching onto him and slamming him into the cold steel, near those sickly glowing eyes. The very thought of those things made him shudder and get a sick feeling in his stomach. In a way, he was more terrorfying than thy king. At least with him you could tell when the Spade was displeased in anyway, but there's no feeling behind a mad man's smile. So. The answer to recovery was to just avoid the place and do his best to push those thoughts deep down and try to distract himself.

And for a while. It actually worked.

He managed to busy himself by making an actual working piece of his work the king seemed pleased with. He called it, A Control Crown. Though it still could use some work as it only worked on more...um. Less smart beings of the realm. And the King's annoying worm(but much better company keeper) of a son had gotten himself into plenty of shenanigans the Duke had to fix or pull him out of. It had been maybe a few months since the incident and he rarely thought of any of that encounter. So all was well with the Duke of Puzzle. Thou the duke did experience a strange tugging or nagging feeling like he was missing something. Oh well. None of it mattered.

At least. Not until that night.

A storm had decided to make itself present that night much to the annoyance and fear of the guards. For it was tonight that the prisoner better who some had called Jevil -odd name if you asked him- once again decided now would be the right time to act up and strike fear into the poor guards in charge of the food supply to him. Which also meant none wanted to go down there. Which ultimately meant the duty would fall on the next upper person in charge.

.....Which meant it was up to him. To settle things. And go down there. With that THING!

He honestly almost threw up the mac and cheese Lancer and himself ate for lunch when he found out. But he was the Duke of Puzzles, appointed by the King himself. Law keeping was one of his best assets, which was why he was put in charge of these guards. So, with a heavy stomach and light head, he assured any listening he'd once again take care of the 'little worm' and put a stop to this all. Oh,if only he could have seen the familiar frozen grin plastered on his face at the moment. It only got worse when he stepped into the elevator and pushed the button to the unknown level.

Once the doors closed, the Duke let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and immediately reached to clutch at the tufts of shiny snow white hair on his head.

"What the f*cketh have I done?!" He breathed between gasping breaths. He wasn't even sure how stupid he was at this point! Why didn't he just tell them to let the stupid prisoner go hungry just for tonight and not bother!? This was absolute madness. Like kicking a live bee nest to anger the pathetic insects-

Bing!

"HA!" The Duke let out a short high pitched squeak of fright from the doors reopening to reveal the beginnings of a staircase and darkness below. He hoped no one heard him. A high pitched series of laughter ruined that hope.

"Oh, how fun,fun! A Duke of no suit has come once again, again to seek what he thinks he rules over!" He flinched when he faintly saw two glowing pinpricks from down below. "How interesting, interesting.~ Have you come to finally play, play?~"

He stood there frozen at the sight of yellow eyes waiting for his answer. The feeling of that insolent's slimey tongue grazing his cheek and the feeling of complete helplessness came rushing back to him in a heart beat. Gathering what pride and dignity he had left, the Duke casually stood straight up and gave an annoyed look. He tried to invision himself talking to a rookie guard or Lancer whenever he had to explain something. He just had to remember. HE was the one in charge. Not some bumbling knave that couldn't even harm him from his prison all the way down below.

"I-It has cometh to mine attention that thou art scaring the very guards that feed you!" He shouted down and waited for a response. But none came. The eyes didn't even blink. So he nervously licked his lips and continued. "If thou wishes to keep getting proper treatment from them in the future then thou needs to follow the rules set in place."

Felling a little more confident. He decided to yell louder. He was in charge. Not him. He had no control over the situation. He made the rules.

"Thou art getting on mine nerves and I do not wish to heareth about thine useless chatters or antics! I haveth no time to deal with thee any longer! I have more important matters to deal with than the rambles of an absolute mad man!! So keepest thine voice down and cease your useless shenanigans at once!!"

His voice echoed throughout the silent prison as the yellow eyes continued their silent watching. Rouxls stared down at the lowlife a little longer before smiling. That was until the pinpricks disappeared as the crazy fool threw his head back in laughter at the stupid show he just witnessed. Rouxls felt his ears press to his sides and his stomach drop hard. This wasn't the reaction he had hoped. All too soon the eyes were back along with a mocking voice.

"What a shame! What a shame! Thinking he could order the only one free, free in the whole kingdom!~ How amusing!~ How fun!! FUN!!~" Rouxls didn't like the change in tone of the deranged jester's voice. It almost sounded intrigued. And that's what scared him most. "I never had so much fun,fun with another pawn before! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Tell me Rouxls Kaard. If you are in charge, charge then why are you too afraid to play this little game, game of yours?~ Hmm."

The Duke didn't say anything at first. The heavy scent of fear consuming him and making his head spin.

"I.....I shan't need to e-explain myself to the likes of you! I prefer not to waste mine valuable time on dealing with your insolent empty words. Thou can pretend with thine mind games all thee wishes but Rouxls Kaard is nay fool!" He pointed a hand at him. " For you see, I have thought of the possibility of thou using these games to trickest me into coming in range of your dastardly grip! But I shan't be fooled again so easily! For by me staying far from thine's hold then thou shall not have a open point to strike! Who's winning who's game now if thou never even got a chance to make his first move?!"

"Yet, yet I'm not the one who's playing dirty.~ What fun is a game if one wins just because, because he cheats out of fear?~"

"Hark thee little knave!!" He bellowed in absolute anger like he just threw dirt on his new suit. "What rules are laid down is followed and I shan't listen to you any longer!" He turned back towards the entrance to the elevator with a huff.

The voice cooed in amusement. "BWAHAHA! A shame that the rules card is running like a defeated child,child at a game of checkers.~ My next visitor will be pleased, pleased to hear about the cowardly leader of a Duke that masters, masters over them!~"

He froze. Did he just-...? No. He couldn't have just....But he did! Taking a breath, the duke world around to face the yellow eyes with anger.

"Thou insolent, foolish WORM!!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs. Making the jester laugh again as the duke began to march towards the stairs in complete anger that his authority would be tested by a common criminal. As he stomped his way down, he remembered to keep his distance with time when he reached the bottom. Now face to face with the clown behind the bars. Even with his limited vision, he could make out the jester's pleased smile on his face. "You DARE to threaten me with useless rumors of mine reputation?!"

"Hehehe. Not a threat and not, not a rumor.~ Just facts straight and simple.~ But now that you're her, here-" The bells on him errily chimed as he tilted his head. "I find you're more fun, fun to play with.~ Tell me, tell me. Did you figure out the game, game we started last visit?"

Rouxls huffed. "You mean that useless asult on mine person? BAH! I refused to even think about such things to do with the likes of thou, Jevil!"

A sudden spark seemed to light up in the jester as his attention became a bit more...focused.

"Ooh!~ So you learnt my name, name?~ BWAHAHA! Tell me, oh Duke of rules and puzzles. Have you any idea of what YOU have started with this game, game of ours you triggered? Are not the feelings and tugs at your very, very core not clues to this puzzle you can't seem to solve?~"

The duke gave the madman a confused look at the nonsense he was spouting out of his mouth. Was this a battle of wits or riddles? If so he won either way. He didn't intend on ever coming back or giving this creature any more of his precious time after this. What was the point if he never made sense anyhow?

"Was does thou even mean? This is nay puzzle! Tis a riddle of a mad fool that shan't ever be solved!"

"Hmm. Perhaps. Perhaps. But tell me this Duke, and tell me true. True." A hand stuck itself out of the bars to point at him, making him flinch. "Did you not have a feeling of need,need or incompletion when you first left this place, place!? Is it now gone?! Replaced with the need to prove yourself! To, to the very person you can never win or lose against in this corrupted. CORRUPTED EMPIRE YOU CALL HOME, HOME!!"

It felt like the walls and darkness themselves were vibrating with the booming voice of the smaller floating man. Rouxls couldn't even bring himself to speak and Jevil's smile suddenly became knowing instead of amused.

"THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN REALLY PLAY A GAME!! GAME!! THAT MATCHES YOUR VERY OWN!! ROUXLS KAARD!! OUR FIRST MEETING, MEETING WAS NEVER OUR LAST!! THE VERY MOMENT WE MADE CONTACT, CONTACT IT SEALED US AND FATE INTERTWINED WITHIN MY FREEDOM, FREEDOM AND YOUR IMPRISONMENT!! THE BEING OF PERFECT ORDER AGAINST THE TRUE EMBODYMENT OF RAW CHAOS!! CHAOS!!"

The last word felt like a wave of sound hit him and sent the duke stumbling forward a few steps almost falling to his face before he looked up at the absolute monster clutching the bars in absolute raw horror.

"You....You're absolutely mad!!"

Jevil chuckled again. "Maybe that's true. Maybe I am insane. Insane. But I am truly the only free, free person....But you know. It's gotten rather boring,boring and dare I saw lonely in my little freedom. Duke of puzzles. I haven't really, really felt like anyone but my old friend Seam could begin to make me this amused, amused." Maybe his insanity was rubbing off onto Rouxls but he could've sworn he saw Jevil's smile slipping a little. "I will always regret happened between us, us. But, it seems fate has directed you towards me, hmm?"

"What?....I-I...I still haven't the faintest idea thou is sputtering out!"

"Heh. You still don't get, get it do you, Rouxls?" He gave a hum and might have sounded like a disapproved parent if he wasn't still smiling though me. "Interesting, interesting. Tell me. Do you know the concept of soulmates?~"

Silence.

The frozen duke stared at the floating creature inside the cage as his brain tried to process this. Yes. He knew what a soulmate was. What an absolutely stupid question. Everyone knows a soulmate is the one person in life you feel compelled towards. Like finally putting the final missing piece of a puzzle together-.....Wait.

Wait a minute.

The realization must've reflected in his eyes because Jevil's smile became more soft if that was even possible for a mad man.

".....No...NO! Nononononononono! NO!!" He hands flew up to clutch his head. The floor felt like it was consuming him with how much his body fell forward to it's knees. "NO! NO! THOU TIS LYING!! MORE MIND GAMES!!" He shouted desperately at the jester who just smiled warmly back, like he was a dear old friend stopping by to grab a chat. His eyes searched for any indicators of mind games or a sick joke. "I...I can't anything to you but a toy for your amusement! Let alone thou's s-soul....IT"S NOT TRUE! I SHAN'T HEAR OF IT!! LIES!! ALL OF IT LIES-AH!!"

The same strength pressed him against the same bars. And the once proud duke whimpered like a dog when facing the same eyes from his nightmares.

"Naïve, naïve little duke." His voice was like he was trying to comfort a child and Rouxls let out a whimper when a clawed hand cupped his chin. His face was closer now. Why wasn't his body reacting!? He could feel the hot breath of the jester before he spoke next. "One cannot deny the rules, rules set down by fate now. Can you?~ We balance and do our dance, dance like chest pieces on a bourd. One never belonging to a suit, suit or getting the upper hand. But...we never lose, lose either.~"

The contact was warm, heated and made the duke feel a sudden rush of strange belonging filled with another stronger feeling of throwing up. Both feelings intensified when the crazy jester slightly loosened his grip on the frozen man's shoulder when something that felt strangely similar to a rope wrapped around his torso. Jevil didn't notice the white shiny liquid beginning to sting the duke's eyes or the sudden swing until something came impacting into his face. The force sending the smaller man a few feet away to the ground with a loud "OH!". Instantly when the contact was broken the duke threw himself back onto his rear and shuffled back towards the stairs. Gagging and clutching at his chest. Trying his dammed hardest not to give in to the urge to puke. A slight pain throbbed in his hand from where it struck the jester.

He coughed and sputtered while taking gulps of air through his mouth to help control himself. A small silence went by before the duke shakily looked at the direction of the man who had once again violated his personal being. At first he thought he was imagining it through the tears or the rushed feelings spiked through him, but no. Jevil was standing there instead of floating. One hand clutching the bars while the other cupped the cheek he guess he must've hit. A look of pure shock on the jester's face. Of the ounce proud man now reduced to a shaking crying mess.

Neither said anything for a moment before jevil spoke.

"You're....crying. Crying?" He blinked and removed the hand from his cheek to inspect it. Like the answers were written on his palm. "You...hit me, me?"

"WELL WHAT DID THOU EXPECT YOU GOD DAMMED FOOL!?!?" Both flinched at the sudden raged tone that seemed to rush out of him. Jevil more than him. But the angry feelings overtook any other rational thoughts. "DID THOU SERIOUSLY THINK UP THIS WHOLE CRAZY DELUSIONAL F-FANTASY OF ROMANCE TO GO ALONG WITH YOUR PATHETIC TRAGETY STORY LIKEST SOME SICK NOVEL WRITTEN BY A COMMONER!?!?"

Jevil stared long and hard before an annoyed expression came over him. "Fantasy, fantasy?.....DELUSIONAL TO MY OWN FEELINGS!?" He growled and gripped the bars of his caged prison. "YOU DARE SIT THERE, THERE AND CALL ME, ME A FOOL FOR RECONGNIZING THE PLAIN TRUTH WHEN NO ONE ELSE DOES, DOES?!"

This time it was the duke's turn to give a dry laugh. "HA! YOU CALL WHAT JUST HAPPENED A TRUEST EVENT!? AND YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THOU'S GESTURE LIKE A NORMAL DARKNER'S?!"

Jevil's face immediately dropped. Rouxls sat there as both heavily breathed from the events. Before the duke slowly stood up onto wobbly legs.

"E-Even...if I did think thou's affections were true, what reason would I have t-to accept or believe when the person who gives it is a prisoner? Seam was in his righteth mind to exit this madness when he did-"

A low growl directed him back to the now angry jester. Anger was a new expression for him but right now he didn't care. Rouxls felt sick, covered in sweaty slime and tears, and equally angry.

''Don't bring Seam, Seam into this."

"Or what!? Thou'll attack me with more unwanted affection! This isn't exactly a splendid walk in the dungeon foreth me!"

The imp let out another growl before pointing another clawed hand at him. "You cannot, cannot tell me you can't feel-"

"I DON'T!!" The loud voice of the duke echoed throughout the entirety of the prison cell. Silencing anymore rambling from either end. "I tire of these useless antics a-and....AND I HAVETH ENOUGTH ON MINE PLATE AS TIS IS!!" He pointed a hand at him. "I SHAN'T EVER RETURN TO DEAL WITH THOU'S ANTICS AND I WILL NEVER SEE YOU AS MORE THAN THE ONE WHO TOILS WITH MINE EMOTIONS!! GOOD MORROW, WORM!!"

He turned and began stomping his way back up the stairs towards the open doors of the elevator. Ignoring the sudden expression on the imp's face.

"W-What?....ROUXLS!! You can't leave a game unfinished once you start to play, play!! It hasn't even finished!...R-Rouxls? Y-You can't forfit this game, game.....Not when I-...COME BACK, BACK!!"

He paid the creature no mind while he continued climbing up the stairs-...Which was a mistake.

An animalistic shriek pierced the air louder than anything he ever heard from the king. A shudder ran up his spine and only one thought shot through his head.

RUN!

He sprinted towards the exit up ahead. Almost tripping over his own two feet a couple times in his panicked haste to get out. Something whizzed by his head and embeaded itself into the wall above his form as more began whizzing past him. The animalistic screaming still present. One of the thing grazed his shoulder causing him to yelp in pain as a cut instantly formed. He ran into the elevator and practically spammed the up button as more of those sharp objects continued to fly around him. The doors slowly closed. Muffling the shrieking and little metallic thuds. Slowly, the elevator began to steadily rise leaving the noise behind him.

Unable to withstand the wild roller coaster of emotions moving through him, Rouxls collapsed against the side of the elevator as it continued to rise. His body shook uncontrollably as he was finally able to take a look at the things that were flung at him.....Hearts. These things were all hearts. He choked.

The once proud Duke of Puzzles reduced himself to a sobbing crying mess as the elevator continued to rise.

#Deltarune #seam x jevil #jevil x rouxls #jevil x seam #Rouxls Kaard x Seam #Seaxls #Nosuit

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Detonation - Jason

A/N: I really hope you like this one shot i did. i really liked it and i thought the AU concept i thought of was nice as well! thank ya’ll for everything. requests are open

warnings: kinda depressing lol

“Shh,” You rocked the fragile and seemly unstable fellow in your warm arms “I’m here Jason.”

Tonight was mostly quiet and slow paced. Like most days, you’d get home from your occupation, made a quick dinner and then read a never ending novel, until your eyes become heavy and found yourself asleep. It was a nice simple routine that you subconsciously completed every evening.

You had lived alone so most days was quiet. you didn’t have much friends of family to come visit you,  so the highlight of your day was actually the same religious tasks you completed everyday. You didn’t mind it though, your life was simple and peaceful, it was quite nice.

You had been sitting down to read, almost at the end cycle of task, when a soft knock interrupted you.

Immediately you thought that the knock had come from your front door or what not, however the knock replayed in your head once more, to realize it had been coming from the window that fixed across the room from your current position. Carefully, you folded the page you had been reading in your novel, placed it on your neatly made bed, then headed for the window.

It had been quite late so you weren’t sure who or why someone would bother you this hour. Moving back your curtains, and peeling back your blinds to see who laid behind the window, you were utterly shocked to see who it was. Jason, an old friend of yours...knocking on your window….at midnight? Peculiar visit. You hadn’t spoken to Jason a long while actually, he was just always busy with work and you had your life as well so i guess the two of you slowly drifted, seeing him here tonight with no text nor call..surprised you? 

It had been raining outside and he looked completely drenched so without a second thought, you tied up your curtains, pulled up your blinds, then open your window wide, motioning for the wet fellow to come in.

“Jason? What are you doing here so late?” you asked rushing to the closet to get him a towel.

A beat of silence passed before he spoke, “y/n..i need to tell you something...”

His voice, it was so soft? Yet there was a broken roughness to it, it startled you. Stopping what you had been doing, you make your way over to him.

“Jay?” you softly spoke back almost in the same tone as he, except your voice had a strong concern. You were examining his being, his eyes were red and puffy, yet soft and doey, his lips trembled like his bruised hands, and his hair was messy like he ran his hands through it a million times.He looked almost like his younger self,  but was a mess, a broken mess. You didn’t know what to do or how to react properly to make the situation better. So you did the first thing to come to mind, you pulled him into a hug and spoke,

“Oh dear, What happened to you Jaybird?” 

No response other than the soft whimpers that filled your ears and rattled your heart. You’ve seen Jason messed up before, badly drunk and angry or very self destructive but never have you seen him so lost and vulnerable. Jason never really too much cried in front of you except when you were kids and he had gotten in his first major fight with Bruce. But even then, it wasn’t nothing compared to now. Your main question was what triggered him to be in this state? 

For a while you guys just stood there in that hug and with him in the crook of your neck sobbing. You then remembered that he was dripping wet and that he needed to get out of those clothes and dry off before he caught a nasty cold and became more miserable. Keeping a nice and soft tone not to startle him you said,

“Hey jay, How about I dry you off and get you new clothes then we can lie down together? Are you okay with that?” after a hum in assurance, you began to slowly pull away from him until you both were apart, “I'll go get the clothes from the closet, okay? I'll just be a second.” with a scurried pace you entered your closet, grabbing a pair of large sweatpants, a white tee, and a towel. Walking back to Jason, you handed him the dry clothes.

“Here you are jason, D-did you need any help? With changing?” you asked, his hands still trembled and he was state was the same as before. Putting on a simple shirt and pants seemed like a difficult task for Jason to do at this time. You figured you’d be lending a hand through out the night, not that you minded though. 

He hummed softly and nodded his head a bit in an acknowledgment to your previously asked question. Taking the clothes from his hands gently, you set it on the bed and began to lift up his shirt to reveal all the beatings he too throughout his life. . Sadly to say i don’t think those scars hurt him as much as he was hurt emotionally. Without any further examination you completely removed his shirt then put on the new on. You repeated the process with the pants then motioned him to come lay on the bed. You un-tucked your made bed and made a spot for him on one side, after he got in, you crawled on the other side, spooning him.  

His hands moved up to where your hands rested on his broad chest. Intertwining fingers, you gently rubbed his rosey red knuckles, a soft whimper escaped his mouth as tried he speak. “I-i had a dream that….he...he  a-nd h-e uh-,” painful whimpers escaped out Jason's mouth “it w-was n-t jokerthat was torturing me…”  biting his lip “he said how much he hated me and told me I was worthless…” wincing in pain he begun again “ it felt so real, i-i felt the pain and everything...y/n..Bruce..”

“Shh,” You rocked the fragile and seemly unstable fellow in your warm arms “I’m here Jason, It was all just a dream, im protecting you now, okay? No deranged clown will ever hurt you and not any villain, I’m Here protecting you, Jason. And as long as you’re in my arms ain’t nothing going to lay a finger on your body.” you held him tighter and felt him sink more into your grasp. He felt safety and comfort in those words..in your arms. 

“promise...Y/N…you’ll save me” he winced once more

“I'm here Jason, i’ll save you from whatever, it was all just a dream jay, don’t think about it. Remember i'm here to save you, don’t worry about falling asleep Jason because ill be right here when you wake up, still with you.” 

Haha. Even in my last moments, i'm still hoping....

10 seconds until detonation

That you’d save me

10…

That you’d some how find me

9…

In these last seconds

8…

And i’d be safe in your arms

7….

And everything would be normal

6…

Because all of this was just a bad dream..

5…...

Although my time is almost up

4……..

I felt you should know

3….

...it wasn’t the Joker that killed me….

2….

It was my greatest hero, Bruce Wayne

1…….

Don’t worry it’s okay!  Dick taught me how to be strong.

#jason todd #jason #bruce wayne #jason todd x reader #jason todd headcanon #dc #dcu #dc universe #dick grayson #dick grayson headcanon #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #Tim Drake #tim drake headcanon #oneshot #OneShots #fanfiction #jason todd deserves better #Damian Wayne #Damian Wayne headcanons #batman #Batman Robin #batfamily #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne x reader #joker #joker x reader #x reader #Headcanon #headcannons

[darlingstarstuff]

dream journal. 74-a.

august 1st, 2019

holy friggin moly. a wild night of dreaming. not only that, but it was a crazy night of forgetting said dreams for a moment and then having some sort of trigger help me remember haha. so much so i’m going to put it as a separate post; it has to do with lucidity. but i remember a lot of dreams today.

in this post i will recount all of my dreams i remembered. but also to note: just to put this out there, i had seen (and still do) bunches of 44 and 444s which suggests that perhaps someone is trying to meet me. before i sleep i talked mentally about them (if there is really someone) coming to me in my dreams so i can see them face to face. okay, now to recall.

the first dream, it was set in transformers (yay!) but in a setting where both cybertronian and humans coexisted. i was at a more rural area, maybe like the outskirts of a city. small streets, dark steel blues made up the buildings and the streets had a metallic sheen almost.

i met, we’ll call him rg, in a niche area of this small street, it was kind of a deadend area of a small neighborhood, but quiet and had a secret gem hidden in it.

rg is known for being very sympathetic and kind, and if something is to better the mental health of an individual, he’s surely to support it. that being said, he’s quite excited to show me this spectacle. there was two in fact, i think this little dead end ally, someone had carved into a wall a beautiful portrait of four individuals with this holo crystal? it was very holo. and alongside that, there was a small statue of a castle made of the holo crystal.

he was telling me about it, and it to pay special attention to the details. and what i found was that the castle sculpture actually had old human trinkets set into it to complete the look! it was really cute, and when i realized that, he was happy too.

then someone comes up to us, looking concerned. i’m trying to tell him about the sculpture but he waves it off and says something weird is going on. then someone shouts. we go over and there’s a dead organic bird on the ground near a bench. in this world, that’s just not really possible so we’re all stunned. we check under the bench and there’s weird junk under it too. a man says something like “wow even after a whole war’s over there’s still homeless people around.” i’m concerned about the bird and decide i’m going to go back into the city to let someone know.

then i dream about my first night out on a motorcycle. i’m a baby at it though and a lot of it is me scoring the bike forward with my feet. a reach a road checkpoint and there’s a security officer inside. he happened to know my coworkers. we talked light heartedly and i’m on my way, scooting alone. i try to find my way home through a janky gps.

then i dream of someone other then myself. a misunderstood antagonist it seemed, set in the marvel universe. he was a young man, perhaps my age. his father was a frazzled, creepyevil scientist, known for his crazy genius and this filled with pride and a high expectation towards his son. but this young man has a vendetta against spider man and he had a plan. he was going to find something known as a heart crystal and with it, he was going to knock him down to the ground.

but the heart crystal’s lore wasn’t as cutesy as it’s sounds. the son was dissecting fantastical creatures to try and find it, separating the whole outer skins of them away from their complete insides. it’s kinda grotesque.

the father finds out about it and visits his son. turns out he’s been working on a similar project and he created a type of spray to help him alone. he gives his son one of the sprays and says the heart crystal is in a museum. so the son goes with the spray and spurts himself with it before entering inside. the museum is general, talking about human history. the son passes by caveman exhibits, and starts to hallucinate. hearing caveman sing and drum makes him start to revert to said antics, and he kinda goes crazy from it. that’s all i remember.

one last dream. set in a dark room, sort of a gathering, sort of a party. i’m in the back and i’m mingling with this group of people. a drink of soda pops up, and i ask the boy, “hey do you want your drink? it’s not touched.” and he just shrugs and doesn’t really answer. i’m like ‘whatever he doesn’t want it i guess i’ll take a sip’ and do so. the boy gets pissed. i mean pissed. he gets angry with me and stomps out of the room. there are lockers in the hall out there and he goes and smashes out of them out. he comes back like “i fucked your locker up.” but it wasn’t even my locker, it was my friends. she was obviously very upset about that.

he gets pissed again and leaves to go into the room across from the one we were at. i go and knock like “bro don’t be a baby lets talk this out.” bit the door opens and he has this big red headed goon open the door. he’s not really threatening though, more a goof.

the boy gets all huffy like “you stay out here in the hallway.” like it’s a threat. but the setting morphs then. some people come out of the rooms and the hallway shifts from a hallway to a very thin train platform and the room were like the doors to train cars. the trains quickly pull off, and it feels like the platform is going to make me fall it’s so thin. i freak out. the people that came out of the rooms freak out. we huddle. it’s completely dark now, pitch black, but we start walking in a straight line. i ask, “why are we walking this way?” scared. and the girl i’m holding onto says, “only because there’s a door.”

and there is. it’s like an abandoned platform now, rusted metal, chained walls, but we open the door, and there’s a small room with slides that lead down to sweet mother ground.

i turn back and some chick just decides to drop down instead. i think, “jesus did she just kill her self?” but somehow she managed to survive the jump down and it turned out she did it because she saw a dollar down there. man.

but then it gets freaky. on the ground there are freaky, pale zombies that are circling our high rise platform. babies and grown ups. the girl that jumped is running around trying to evade them.

the girls that are already down the slide are getting grabbed by them, the zombies opening their mouths to eat. they have to have a weakness right? all enemies do. i don’t know what to do. so i scream. i scream as loud as i can. they actually back off quickly but i continue to just rip my throat.

i woke up a weird tingle in my throat though.

#dream journal #dr entry 74 a #dreaming #dreams

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Double Decker 12 - 13 (FINAL) | Golden Kamuy 23 - 24 (FINAL) | Merc Storia 11 - 12 (FINAL) | Zombieland Saga 12 (FINAL) | Gridman 12 (FINAL) | Cells at Work! 14 (OVA) | Shield Hero 1 | Boogiepop 1 - 2 | Egao no Daika 1

Trigger warnings for rape and slavery in the Shield Hero commentary.

Double Decker 12

Deana’s actually kinda tsundere…that’s kinda amazing to see, really.

I noticed Doug’s phone says “Dr. Apple”. Haha.

Kirill’s special. But why? You never answered that, people! Update: It’s because his antibodies are an antidote for Anthem.

There appears to be a Shell logo on one wall of Derick’s bar…LOL. Shell exists in real life. Why do we want it in an anime, now…?

I laughed so hard when I saw the landlady with what remained of Seven-O, hahaha.

Travis and Sophie, huh? Is it a ship or a working relationship? Who knows?

Oh! This didn’t make sense until Derick declared the bus was a bar. Rigggggggggght.

Kirill, believe in the Doug that believes in you…or something like that…

Kirill’s holding two guns, so when Cooper says, “Put down the gun,” which one does he mean???

“And Then There Weren’t None!” – Parodying (Agatha) Christie again, I see? (Referring to Hyouka’s Why Didn’t They Ask Evans parody, Why Didn’t She Ask Eba?.)

Golden Kamuy 23

How did “pig food” in a sentence become so terrifying???

Why is Tsurumi’s head leaking???

*Sugimoto bashes the earless twin with his prosthetic foot* - Well, that’s one way to get a leg up on someone…okay, I’ll see myself out.

Merc Storia 11

If Orthos is complaining about rain, why is he a water-element unit in the game???

This show is gorgeous. Not to mention the backgrounds look like they’ve been ripped out of the game…

Aw, Orthos is kinda cute. Kinda tsundere. I wonder if he wanted to hear “happy birthday” from Raviol…?

Every time I watch through the ED, I think Raviol’s going “Geddof me!” to Yuu.

Zombieland Saga 12 (FINAL)

The Yuugiri slap returns!

The 21st of December seems to have been the original airdate of this episode…

Karatsu-jou is Karatsu Castle, quite obviously.

Wait…does this mean Kotaro Tatsumi’s real (last) name is Inui? Or was this a “I changed my name bcause my mother/I (re)married” thing?

There’s an end of episode segment…keep watching.

That was…such a non-ending! This definitely needs a season 2 if it wants to finish its storyline! Plus, Yuugiri, Tatsumi and Tae never got their focus episodes!

Gridman 12 (FINAL)

What the heck was up with that smoke cloud? It looked so real, and yet so out of place!

Ooh, I see Anti now has the ability to transform by himself…although I should’ve figured that out last episode, since I think that happened then as well.

*Anti gets stabbed with Alexis’s sword* - What the hck just happened to my garbage son??? (refer to This Week in Anime for how that nickname came about for Anti)

Eyy. So you’re saying Gridman was a magical girl robot all along? Haha…hahahaha.

So basically, it’s Boueibu LOVE! but with less meta. With lessons of mortality instead of the Kabuki Rule. Akane’s basically female!Kinshiro, right down to the hairdo…

Wow…someone really ran out of budget. It’s literally just a slideshow, but with black and white over it.

Oh, there’s actually a nice piano song in the background. So maybe I was wrong about the budget…? I don’t really want to go and watch the slideshow again, y’know.

There’s a random live-action segment at the end of this show??? Wuh??? What do I need to expect next, a talking meteorite??? (referring to Dimension High School)

Okay, seriously??? What was up with live-action Rikka???? I don’t get it… Update: Okay, so the live-action girl was Akane, not Rikka. That’s why it was so confusing…

Double Decker 13 (FINAL)

I laughed really hard at the explosions. Probably because I Photoshopped someone into a picture of an explosion and the scene with Kirill being shoved forward by an explosion reminded me of it…

I wanted Max to slap Travis, as weird as that might be for a show like this (but not for a show like Zombieland Saga). A punch in the gut’s good too, though.

“To be continued?” – Oh. Ohh. Ooh…Heh. I already knew there were some extra episodes, but at this point, there’s no ruling out a season 2, either…hmmm. I really wouldn’t mind a season 2, y’know.

Golden Kamuy 24 (FINAL)

For some reason, I’ve ben referring to Hijikata as “old fart” for the length of this episode (meaning “not long”). He’s an impressive old fart, to be sure, and he was hella nice-looking in his heyday, but in the age of Golden Kamuy, he’s still an old fart.

I thought “Say hello to my little friend” was from Scarface, not…whatever Tsurumi’s pulling here. (commnt made in jest with straight face)

Seriously, what happened to ruin Nopperabo/Wilk’s face, anyway?

Someone make me a Civil War poster with Golden Kamuy characters, stat!

Wait, so Kiroranke, Asirpa and co. are headed north to meet up with Kiroranke’s allies, which could cause a civil/national war. Hijikata and Blockhead Dick-sensei (forgot his name) are headed south due to the info they got from Inudou’s hut (the chapel). I’m pretty sure that’s what just happened, but…I could have missed a bit and then I’d be wrong.

“Send the beloved child on a journey” is a Japanese saying, by the way. That’s (probably?) what Sugimoto’s referring to when he talks with the boat captain (the elder Koito). Oddly, the elder Koito seems to drop the last O from “-dono”, which seems to be a Satsuma thing…?

Cells at Work Special Ep (Ep 14)

Oh, you can see the effector cell amongst the other T Cells! Hello there!

I remember studying stuff about how a cell divides…man, that was at least 2 years ago! You’re making me feel old…

*Helper T Cell appears* - Gaddangit, Kazuma! (from Noragami)

Merc Storia 12 (FINAL)

There’s just something too awfully cute about a brother leaving the “nest”.

Even birds need to learn to fly. I wonder why Orthos didn’t…?

Ah! It’s one of those low-level hooting monsters! I’ve seen them in the game but I don’t know what they’re called…Update: They’re called Goldories. Spoke too soon…

Well…that’s a bit frustrating. That’s the second non-ending this season…hey! I’ve seen that elephant in the game! Plus that slime! (LOL, I’m so easily distracted…)

Ooh, that non-ending. I’ll give it a piece of its mind by giving it an average rating on my AniList!!! Rah!!! Anyways, see ya later…for 2019 anime.

Shield Hero 1

First anime of 2019 and it’s this one. Hoo boy – I’ve read one chapter of the manga, courtesy of CR. It’s gonna get nasty down in here, judging by the buzz that seems set to replicate Goblin Slayer’s…

Oh…that’s not a very favourable opening, the “It was all a dream” opening. Sure, it was gripping and showd Raphtalia (saw her name in promo material from ANN), but f*** if it weren’t overused at this point in time…

I always thought Shield Hero started out like Fushigi Yuugi…speaking of which, is that no longer on Crunchyroll?

Motoyasu’s got his own spinoff, so I’m hoping I’ll get to know him well over the next 12 weeks or so.

I find it interesting that they put the heroes together to reveal they’re from different versions of Japan so quickly. I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen in the manga.

Honestly, that “NOOOOOOOOOOOo!” could be an awesome reaction GIF. Just sayin’.

Sigh…Myne, Myne, Myne…you and your ways with Naofumi…

(Trigger warning: rape discussion) See? As I said, I knew this was going to happen. The thing is that it played out a lot more clearly in the anime than it did in the manga. As much as I don’t like the trope of “rape as accusation” enough (enough to have never encountered it before), it would be hypocritical of me to say I haven’t used it before – it appears in Half-Paid Heroes. However, one year out from having written it (due to the #MeToo movement), I can only say “rape is so not on”. I do not condone rape, but from a storytelling perspective it’s the perfect trope to make a character look like a monster and it makes a clearly false accusation have more oomph behind it, so…let’s just say Shield Hero’s doing its job here, making me despise Myne and the system in this world. Besides, I only stand on the side that does the better story.

For some reason, Naofumi’s “You can shove it all up your a***!” demand reminds me of when I’m angry and doing unreasonable demands…which means it’s won me over now.

I just realised…there hasn’t been much music until now…

(Trigger warning: slavery discussion) Oof. Now they’ve gotten to a new low of depravity in this show. Naofumi’s probably gonna buy a slave…again, I don’t condone this, but I assume Raphtalia is here.

Yep, even without knowing past ch 1, I was right on the money. That’s Raphtalia!

Poppies, huh? The symbol of bloodshed. What a perfect flower for this show, which demonstrates Naofumi’s blood, sweat and tears…

As much as I don’t condone some of the acts done in this show, I see some huge potential. Even if it’s got controversy flying around it like flies, I’ll stand with it. Are you with me?

Boogiepop 1 – 2

Double length premiere…oof, this’ll be tough on my spare time. Lately, I’ve been told to clean up the house a bunch and doing all manner of other things, so it’s just eating up time on all sides.

OP start is…for some reason, never a good start. For some reason, I just don’t like it. Maybe that might be the fact I was taught to start with a compelling opening scene when I was a fiction writer, though.

The subber got so bored they even subbed the Dengeki Bunko logo in the corner…wow. (sarcastic)

For some reason, the art style reminds me of Banana Fish (or Parasyte). Must be the chara designs.

This seems to be coated in a fine film of 90s edge. Or maybe the early 2000s, because that’s when this really comes from. C’mon, Takeda doesn’t even seem surprised when his mouth hangs open!

Notably, Boogiepop uses boku.

Wait, I don’t get why Boogiepop is called that. They pop the boogie(men)? That right?

I started zoning out and fiddling with my wrist in the middle of this episode. That’s another bad sign…

Wow, that ending’s really minimalist.

Currently, this episode raises more questions than it answers. Its overall impression level is trending slightly towards the negative. There must be a double premiere for a reason, though…let’s move on.

Wait - Kirima Seiichi? Is he Nagi’s father??? How did I not notice that earlier?

That manticore business seems to be correct…according to Wikipedia.

This doesn’t add up. Taniguchi. Kirima. Maybe Taniguchi is the name of the mother/father and Kirima is the name of the other parent? Update: Spoke too soon on this point and a previous one.

Kirima’s OS appears to be Windows 10 with a few adjustments.

Wait, but isn’t Suema meant to be the girl’s surname? Or is it Kinoshita? Update: It’s Suema. Kinoshita is another girl.

This white-haired man is the one from last episode, right? I didn’t really recognise him since there’s always terrible lighting plus he was wearing orange then, but yeah. Can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots there either.

White-haired man seems to be like Anti from Gridman. I presume he’s Echoes…? Update: Yup, Echoes it is.

Egao no Daika 1

This sounds like it’s outside my field of expertise, but I’ve been proven wrong before with Planet With, not to mention Toshiki Masuda is a character called Huey Malthis. It seems to be pretty standard Princess and the Pauper fare though…

There’s just a bunch of tablets with fancy-looking English on them…the heck?

Is it just me, or did the mecha game have the solitaire success sound effect…?

Ooh, I sense animosity regarding Japan’s emperor abdicating within this show (in a metaphorical sense)! I could analyse this show to bits, maybe…

The CGI in this actually ain’t that bad. Then again, we are talking about mechs here…

Oh, end of episode segment. Keep watching…

Well, I noticed the characters go off model if you’re paying attention to something you shouldn’t be, but otherwise, it’s a respectable first episode…respectable, but fairly average.

#simulcast commentary #merc storia #double decker #double decker! doug and kirill #zombieland saga #golden kamuy #Gridman #Boogiepop and Others #Boogiepop wa Warawanai #Egao no Daika #the price of smiles #The Rising of the Shield Hero #tate no yuusha no nariagari #Chesarka watches ZLS #Chesarka watches Double Decker! #Chesarka watches GK #Chesarka watches Merc Storia #Cells at Work! #Hataraku Saibou! #Chesarka watches Hataraku Saibou

[loghainmactir]

yo I've not heard abt peter before, what's he look like and what's his personality?

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT thank u for my LIFE ryan!!! ok so this is Original Peter, which is technically now dragon age au peter:

(it me boi... drawn by th wonderful eggelo here on tumblr!!!)

peter’s, like, 5’5-6” (can’t quite remember i’ll figure it out eventually), he’s wiry (like... dude’s a lil thin, but he can absolutely choke someone out if need be he wants to), and he looks sick 99% of the time in either canon bookverse or dragon age au. he’s got dirty blonde hair, he’s got a lil goatee goin, and if it weren’t for his partners he’d be wearing the same damn thing for five years straight

personality-wise, peter’s... A Mess, lmao. outwardly he’s kinda like (and this is an awful way 2 describe him im sorry bb...) a rabid dog or smth: he’s loud, he’s angry, he swears every five seconds and he will absolutely pull a knife or six on you if you get on his nerves

(this is, honestly, mostly bc he’s overwhelmed n upset 99% of the time from both extremely awful head Stuff and godawful sensory overload, and his automatic reaction is always & has always been violence. it’s almost like a permanently boiling pot of water and if u drop like 1 piece of pasta in there everything’s ruined always. its almost kinda drilled into him?)

HOWEVER w his partners he’s... still a lot, but it’s subdued. u can tell w his partners, fleur and beon, that he can relax bc they actually respect his boundaries and triggers and know not to fuckin, u know, speak at certain volumes or touch him in certain ways or make certain noises.

they try 2 distract him a lot from his head & they do it well, so he turns into this really relaxed, almost goofball (in th sense that he will absolutely make puns like “haha im giving u my heart, get it? bc im handing u an Actual Heart?”) who swears a lot. he’s literally endlessly devoted to them both and he’d fistfight god for them if they asked him to!!!

his favourite things include murder, sitting on beon’s lap while he reads, murder, sculpting, and murder

#OC: Peter #long post #my writing #‘peter likes sculpting?!’ he sure does!!! he does clay stuff #asks #rohvir #he’s been my vent character for so long i love him #i cant wait to share him w the world

[beyondtheperfectlines-blog]

Killing Eve 1x03

Wow. The ending of this episode was expected from the moment at the train station, but it was still really sad. And this episode was a real game changer, things are personal now! Reaction and thoughts under the cut.

The opening scene was beautifully shot with Eve in a trance describing Villanelle as the camera slowly turned around her, and I was totally enraptured, until the reveal of her surroundings and then it just became a lol moment. “She had a lost look in her eye that was both direct and also chilling. She’s totally focused… yet almost entirely inaccessible.” “So, is that like a square face or an oval face?” haha then Bill’s face, and Eve’s face in response. I’m also impressed by how much she got from a single interaction of like 30 seconds.

 So now we get to see Berlin. I love how we travel all over Europe with Villanelle! And we’re at a kink clinic lol, I love this. So it was obvious the cover nurse would be Villanelle but how great was that shot of her turning around all “Take off your clothes” ! And her voice got so hot when she said “Hot Medica” and “Nobody gets special treatment” ! That close up of the man dying was creepy though and now we’ve officially established that she likes to look into her victims’ eyes when they die. I also love the little details that show she really doesn’t care about them like when she lets go of the man’s arm and it just falls back with a thump. So disrespectful to the dead!

 Back with Eve and her husband, they have a hilarious conversation about their chicken’s egg and her new job. “I don’t think we should eat it.” “Risky?” “Yeah” “Is the job risky?” “Oh, it’s about as dangerous as eating that egg would be.” “You just said the egg was too risky!” “No, no. Wait, no. I mean, the worst that could happen is I would get the shits at my computer because of a bad sandwich.” Lmao! They have such a great dynamic.

 Eve’s team finds out about 2 new murders. Carla’s induced asthma attack from last episode “Let me guess. You think it was a woman.” “Well, she was found in the ladies. So, yes, she’s going on the wall, you ass.” Hahaha. And now Zhang Wu. Chinese colonel visiting Berlin. Hacker for the Chinese military. So, so far most of the murders have been political. And Villanelle now left another witness behind her (first the mafia boy from episode 1 and now the receptionist who signed her in as a temp). This leaves me to wonder if she has stopped being careful recently or if there are rumors all over Europe of a fit woman in her mid-20’s linked to all sorts of murders. After all, maybe Konstantin was only angry about Katsia still being alive in episode 1 because she actually witnessed the murder whereas with the others there are only suspicions? Or was the boy a one-off and now she doesn’t care anymore because she knows Eve has seen her and can identify her?

 “Why are you all being weird?” Lol! And then they’re all looking at Carolyn. “She said her name was Eve Polastri.” Wow, omg, etc. That was a really smart way for Villanelle to get their attention. So, Eve is understandably freaked out but wants to keep investigating. What I don’t understand is why she isn’t asking more questions about how Villanelle could have learned her name. Like who knows about their investigation? Is it possible they could have been hacked? Maybe it happened and we just aren’t privy to it. Maybe she thinks this has nothing to do with the taskforce and only with their meeting in the bathroom.

 “Bill, you’re coming with me.” Bill: “Take Elena.” Elena: “Yes, take Elena!” hahaha I love her. Kenny: “I don’t think Elena should go.” Nobody asked you, Kenny!

“It’s one trip, Bill. Huh? One trip.” “Daddy’s going to die, isn’t he?” damn, Bill! At this point I just thought it was a disturbingly funny line. British humor or something. I should have known they were really going to go there! Also, Bill looks really good for 60. “Oh, come on. It’s not like she’s gonna still be there.” LOL. Oh, Eve.

 And guess who’s stalking her own crime scene like they say a killer would? That’s right. Villanelle’s there wearing great camouflage outfits. Lol. And in one of the greatest TV scenes of all time, she’s also picked up an American tourist. “Take your hair down.” “You are sooo sexy.” (side note: I love how positively they portray middle-aged women on this show, making them desirable, same for curly hair) “No, no. Keep your clothes on, your bag on your shoulder.” “I’m going to call you Eve, okay?” OMG WHAT? LOL “Why?” “It’s just a little biblical fantasy thing” HAHAHA “Do you want me to call you Adam?” at this I just D-I-E-D. “No, no. That’s okay” hahahahahaa and they kiss and it’s super hot omg “Now I am going to hide and you are going to find me.” LMAO and that tourist is just like. What just happened? The whole scene was so unexpected and so delightful.

And then of course Villanelle steals Eve’s suitcase. Is she also eating Eve’s risky egg sandwich? Aww she’s so disappointed by her boring clothes. The scarf is nice though. “Poor baby” ha! Is that something she’s heard being said before? And was that some sort of cream? And of course Konstantin is there! I love them so much “I thought I could smell something.” “Sorry, are you having a nice little holiday here?” “Are you?” Lmao. “I booked you in for one night.” “So? I like Berlin. Have you been before?” “Yes” “Have you seen the Wall?” “Yes” “The Jewish Museum?” “Listen” “That is massively poignant.” Hahaha

“I have a job for you. Off the record. The woman, Eve Polasi” “Polastri” “She’s here. She’s investigating your work.” “Did you see where I did it?” “Very cute, yes.” So this means that she receives general intel along with her target’s identity and then she can choose how/where/when to kill them. Although looking back I guess it was established in episode 1 when he congratulated her on no CCTV at the crime scene.

“Why are you so worried?” “Aren’t you?” “No! I don’t even think about her.” “Why does she think it was you?” she shrugs. But she’s such a bad liar?! It’s like she’s not even trying to convince him. “I want you to watch her. I need to know who she meets. This is me asking you. Not them, okay?” And watch her, she does! She stalks her across town and in a clothing store and even picks out a belt for her lol. She sure has an eye for style.

Meanwhile, Eve has investigated the Chinese’s death. Poisoned with carbon monoxide. And his balls were clamped. Of all the tool Villanelle had at her disposal, she kept it quite clean. I was expecting something way sinister when we got that first shot of her at the clinic scrubbing the instruments clean. They meet with the Chinese attaché on the case, Jin Yeong, who’s a big deal within Chinese Intelligence. He gives them intel on the dead Chinese. “Internally, the guy was known as ‘Fat Panda’, which is a little racist. Fattist, come to that. But I hear that he started it so, you know, we went along. “ lol! This was a nice surprise to hear a seemingly traditional older Asian man mentioning racism and fattism. But that’s pretty much the only positive thing I can say about him.

“What’s the Chinese story?” “The new autopsy concludes that he took the initiative himself when the covering nurse left the room, working the forceps to experience a shock of pain that triggered a cardiac arrest. Not my thing.” “Not his, either.” “Why? He’s a masochist.” “Look, kinks are totally specific. It’s not just about pain, it’s a contract. It’s about someone else taking control. A ‘spankophile’ wouldn’t just spank himself, would he?” lol Eve’s face. But I love how respectful they are in their portrayal of kinks and that they keep calling the workers nurses.

Later on in Eve’s hotel room. “Have you ever fancied me?” “Uh… no.” “You me?” “No.” I love it! Male/female friendships are real! “So, tell me what happened in Charlottenburg.” “Everything happened.” “Wait. Men?” “Yes.” “Were you gay?” Well, I didn’t like that line, they could have used something more appropriate like ‘Are you bi?’… “Uh… I just fall in love with whoever I fall in love with.” “Does Keiko know?” “She’s got her own thing going on.” Incredible! “Wait, so you guys… “ “Well… I really wanted a baby, and she was rich and ovulating, so…” “But you guys are like the perfect couple.” “We’re a good team.” I loooved this exchange. Way to go, Bill! I’m all about convenient arrangements and friends raising kids together. Although I’m not sure how I feel about the show bringing up personal stories about him this whole episode to make him more likable and make us feel more for him knowing he’d die. And maybe also making Eve a little less guilty about the whole Keiko raising a baby by herself since she ‘has her own thing going on’.

 “Do you want to hear something really freaky?” “What?” “The conditions have to be just right, but sometimes… we have sex.” Hahaha “You ever been interested in women?“ “Uh, no. Not like that.” “Not even ones with delicate features, sort of catlike eyes that are completely inaccessible?” LOL I love how he calls her out on her earlier description. “That is horribly unprofessional! Do you want to hear about her tits?” lmao

 So before this scene Eve skyped with Niko. She’s so taken with her new job that she kind of neglects him and forgot about their plan to host their friends. It’s kinda sad. Hopefully they can get past this. But also, can I just say that I loved their earlier exchange : “You’re so strong.” “All that math.” Hahaha.

And Villanelle listens in to the skype call! Did she hack into Eve’s computer? And how did she know what computer to hack into since Eve is in a hotel? (I obviously know nothing about hacking lol) Or is it their home computer in London that’s tapped into? How many skills does Villanelle have? And she rewound the tape when Bill arrived… to know his knocking pattern? So she could maybe visit Eve later? And could she hear the rest of the conversation when the skype call was finished/the laptop was shut down?

 Then at the train station, Villanelle is there!!! Wearing a suit. Lol. Dressing up for Eve! That silly cap she wore all day wasn’t going to do. And omggg Bill stops her from getting on the train. What are you doing, Bill??? So, was Villanelle planning to follow Eve to the restaurant and just watch her like Konstantin instructed? Also, I would be much more pissed if I were her, and had my arm grabbed like that. “Excuse me. May I ask where you got that scarf?” “Oh, my mother has a shop in Munich. I can give you the address if you like?” Now, that was an excellent lie! I envy her ability to improvise. And she speaks German! Another language to add to the list. So she leaves the train station. And Bill fucking follows her. And so horribly at that. She leads him to a club and of course the bouncer lets Villanelle go in without waiting… she hot. Bill… not so much lol.

 So Eve meets with Jin. I did not find him funny. And unfortunately, I have this nagging feeling that he’ll be back on the show sometime. But for the moment, I’m glad Eve was equally annoyed with him and I loved that she did not play his game ‘however gross’ to get information which is what Carolyn would have wanted (although thankfully Eve missed that instruction due to her earphones falling out lol such a great detail). “Last week, Fat Panda hacked into the account of an agent of the Chinese Intelligence. An organization has been paying him millions. We don’t know what for, but a week later, both Fat Panda and the agent were dead. You might have a little creature yourself. Think of this as a friendly, little mole trap.” So there is a mole in the British Intelligence! And probably some Chinese agents as well or how would they know? I guess we’ll find out next episode what’s on that USB key.

 Now, at the club, Eve is let in after speaking German (and sounded really good to my untrained ears). Villanelle managed to be spotted by Bill and lured him to the front. He looks pretty proud of himself to have found her. Oh, Bill. And then… she just turns around. And she smiles this terrifying smile at him. It is super creepy. And then the chase is on. Lmao you can see the exact moment he realizes this was a mistake and how much he’s screwed. Scheisse is right. So she catches up to him and stabs him like 20 times in the chest. Overkill much? And Eve, who’s found him pretty quickly considering how packed the club is, arrives just too late. And she just can’t get to him!!! I was so frustrated that she couldn’t get through and was left there screaming at him! And that’s how the episode ends. Wow. I swear the last 10 minutes or so were so stressful. Why did Bill decide to follow her like that? What did he think was going to happen? I guess we’ll never know.

So let’s talk about Villanelle’s motivations for luring Eve to Berlin. Even before knowing who Eve was, she looked thrilled that someone had taken an interest in her. Is she bored with her life because her kills are too easy? Is she ‘lonely’ because the only person she seems to interact with is Konstantin? Is she flattered that there is a whole taskforce with the sole purpose of finding her? Does the fact that they’ve already accidently met and that Eve has curly hair (that reminds her of Anna?) heighten her excitement? Probably. So, since she knows that Eve is investigating her, Villanelle could want to figure Eve out first to win some sort of internal game. She could be curious to know how someone who looks like Eve, someone seemingly innocuous from their meeting in the bathroom, could catch her and be curious about her skills. Maybe she wants to know about Eve’s psyche and what motivates Eve to find her. I was actually surprised at how fast the show moved and had them in the same place again. It was super bold of Villanelle to use Eve’s name to lure her in. Despite her talks of the trip being safe, did Eve subconsciously suspect that this was a trap but decided to throw caution to the wind because of her own curiosity to learn more about this female assassin?

Anyway, so Eve arrives in Berlin and Villanelle just wants to play a little so she steals her suitcase and wears her scarf as some sort of trophy or something. And it’s so funny how she just can’t help herself and has to bump into Bill on the streets to get attention. And she looks so thrilled to have succeeded. So, at this point it’s all fun and games, but then she decides to kill Bill! I guess it’s still all fun and games to her, but she has to know that this will change things for Eve. Did she just act impulsively and want to punish him for being annoying and stopping her from following Eve? Or to prove that she was not someone to underestimate? Was this something planned and she wanted to make this personal to make sure Eve would pursue finding her?

In any case, this fundamentally changes things for Eve. Until now all of Villanelle’s kills were people she didn’t know and she could admire her genius from an outsider’s perspective and be ‘just a fan’ as she said in the second episode. But not anymore. Now that she’s somehow responsible for a death, having decided to go to Berlin and pushed Bill to come with her, she’s directly involved. She’ll have to confront her conflicting feelings of admiration and guilt/anger.

Anyway, that’s it for episode 3! Thanks for reading!

#killing eve #episode review

[youtiaoshutiao]

hello, i wanted to ask you what changes in a love so beautiful made you mad? i am sorry if this is a troublesome question, i have not read the novel bc it isn’t translated in a language i can read so i do not have a clear perspective

hello anon! sorry i took so long to reply, i was trying to organise my extremely jumbled thoughts HAHA (which I mostly word-vomitted to @ggongzhu about :P) and i was also busy over the weekend! i’ll attach my thoughts under a read more cut, and also if you haven’t finished watching the drama yet and you are afraid of spoilers do be careful because i’ll make references to the later episodes as well :P

disclaimer: i still really do like the drama a lottttttt (seeing how my tumblr is almost like 100% about alsb hahaha) and perhaps a lot of my opinions are just me being too sensitive and making a mountain out of a molehill (given that i watch the episodes multiple times because of subbing/giffing and i’ve read the book about three times as well)… please forgive me if so :(

1. on a structural scale, i feel like there is a problem with the pacing of the drama, coupled together with the increase in screentime and altering of plot of the secondary leads (mainly wu bo song). the book is mostly set in the time period three years after the breakup and high school/uni is presented as flashbacks/in the outtakes and epilogues. While i’m fine with the drama doing a linear timeline as I do think it’s less messy and more appropriate for a drama, I do feel that they spent way too much time in high school, especially with regards to developing an (what i felt was completely) unnecessary love triangle, at the expense of the main leads’ development. i especially felt that the jealousy scenes, while amusing, were kind of excessive? they could have cut down on that as they were mostly the same narrative after a while and didn’t lend much to building the story. in addition i also thought that the addition of these love triangle/jealousy plot lines kind of weakened the characterisation of jiangchen for me. like jiangchen saying “you were really embarrassing today” in episode 5 because he was jealous, which i really thought was a super harsh and not really in line with his character (he’s more of awkward and aloof and bad at expressing himself, not mean D:), and also the endless jealousy scenes kind of didn’t make sense after a while because he does know that xiaoxi likes him!!

and i just felt that all these needless plotlines to “dramatise” the story just kind of came at expense of what could have been a more coherent drama, or a drama with better pacing. lots of netizens said that episode 18 onwards just felt like a powerpoint presentation where it was just scene after random scene, and it didn’t really flow well? they could have expanded more on the post high-school narrative i felt to make it more coherent, or explored more things, like the ambitions of the five of them (among which, only Jiangchen’s was properly explored, which was a nice touch the drama had that wasn’t in the book :) ), the three years they spent separated to drive home the point that jiangchen really needs xiaoxi, etc.

and while I admit that i’m not the biggest fan of wu bo song and I found his character quite annoying, it’s not that i’m opposed to the addition of secondary leads, it’s just the fact that the additional screentime and additional scenes end up weakening the main leads’ characterisations and taking time away from what could have been used to explore the main leads more that makes me rather sad ):

[okay the rest of the points are mostly plot-related]

2. i didn’t like how they made post 3-years breakup Jiangchen kind of a 霸道总裁 (which is a Chinese fiction/entertainment trope, which is smth like an overbearing chaebol). the drama changed the reason for the breakup which was different in the book (in the book, Jiangchen’s parents were both alive, and Jiangchen’s mother’s disapproval of their relationship and blatant dislike for Xiaoxi was the initial catalyst that eventually triggered Xiaoxi to break up with Jiangchen), which was fine! and actually I thought the drama’s handling of the breakup was quite realistic and portrayed well. But then the drama’s version of the breakup had both parties be at fault.

So taking that into consideration, the last scene of episode 20 didn’t really make much sense at all (where Jiangchen asks Xiaoxi to apologise to him). The drama used the exact same words as the book did, but it doesn’t make as much sense in this context. Because in the book xiaoxi broke up with jiangchen cos she was insecure as his mum didn’t like her and as they slowly drifted apart, so from jiangchen’s pov it felt like xiaoxi broke up with him over nothing, whereas in the drama it’s totally different as jiangchen actively left for beijing instead, so the apology thing just seems really weird and kinda rude of him??? And the scene before that, where he wiped her fingers in front of their entire group of her friends was just so improper and rude of him? (The fake girlfriend thing also features in the book (and in fact Xiaoxi introduced the girlfriend to him whom he then roped into his fake girlfriend scheme), but this scene was added in the drama and the way the drama presented it just weirded me out)

In addition, some of the sentences drama!Jiang Chen says - like “We definitely will get back together” or “She’s always been mine” was just D: nooooooooooo

3. the way they dealt with xiaoxi’s character. My impression in the book was that though she wasn’t a good student, and she was often slow on the uptake especially with regards to Jiangchen, she wasn’t helpless and she was actually a very independent woman (post-breakup) who was quite perceptive and had a high EQ in her dealings with her friends (Jiangchen being the only exception, where often she subconsciously feels lowly in front of him and hence often misreads him) . So while Shen Yue portrayed Xiaoxi really well and managed to toe the fine line between being cute and silly and being annoyingly silly, I really wish that the drama had made Xiaoxi less helpless because book!Xiaoxi definitely wasn’t so!

And even if they wanted to retain all the “helpless Xiaoxi” moments in highschool, what really made me quite disappointed was how in ep 22, drama!Xiaoxi ended up getting the whole book deal through Jiangchen’s interference and through him paying for vanity publication, which I thought was doing the character such a disservice (though it highlights Jiangchen’s selflessness and sacrifice etc, but. but. but! couldn’t the drama have picked something else to showcase that). In the book, Xiaoxi got her book deal entirely through her own efforts and I really wished the drama showed that as well ):

In addition, I thought that the drama could have dwelled more on Xiaoxi’s internal thoughts. Like… why does she like art? Why did she decide to get back together with Jiangchen? Why did she get upset when Jiangchen teased her about her proposing to him (which was discussed in the book, but the drama didn’t and i think according to @ggongzhu it made it seem like she was just upset as she thought the guy should be the one proposing)?

Haha but then conversely, there are things that I thought the drama did better than the book!

1. The medium of it being a drama allows us to see Jiangchen fleshed out more compared to the book. In the main part of the book (excluding the outtakes), everything is written from xiaoxi’s first person pov. so sometimes she will write about how she feels very lowly in her relationship with jiangchen, or feels like she cares too much while he cares less, or how she rarely hears any romantic words from him; or because she misreads Jiangchen, lots of times she will think that jiangchen is angry with her when he really isn’t. But then from his small actions and from the outtakes which are written from omnipresent pov, you can tell he does care a lot about her and stuff. (Personally, the first time I read the book I was a little ?_?, and only on my second/third read did I begin to appreciate all the little moments where you can see Jiangchen’s love, ehehe)

In the drama, because we are watching from 3rd person pov, we can see all his little smiles and stuff so we know he does like her right from the beginning, which makes for very satisfying viewing, I must say. [But back to the drama’s flaws: even though this is the case, the way that the drama narrative presented him, actively doing things that hurt xiaoxi (like calling her embarrassing, like leaving her for Beijing without discussing beforehand - like he only told her when he was at the airport) when he’s upset with her/jealous, makes him seem kind of self-centred, which brings me back to the first point I made about weakening of characterisation hehe]

2. I really like the addition of the friends group! Which was not in the book :) I love Lin Jing Xiao loads and she’s such a good friend to have *_* It would have been nice seeing more of her and her astronomy career, actually (same goes for the rest of the gang)

3. I really liked the whole subplot about why Jiangchen decided to study medicine in the end. The little scenes, like his relieved smile of wonder after Lu Yang was saved by the school doctor and an adrenaline jab; him meeting the little girl in the hospital and having an unexpected convo that tugged on his heart strings; him telling Lu Yang that he also wanted to stay by Xiaoxi’s side, eee that was so poignant and lovely. Also really liked how in that same episode, we got to see some relationship development between him and his younger brother! (who did not exist in the book, ahaha)

4. It was also touching having Jiangchen actively admit that he was wrong to Xiaoxi and seeking forgiveness, especially knowing what a proud person he is :)))

haha oh man anon sorry for the word vomit!!! and I hope I did make some sense hahaha and that i’m not nitpicking ahaha. It’s just, so many things about the drama adaptation were on point - like the cast, the sets - that it just made me a little sad to have the drama narrative and script ruin it a little for me. ): let me know what you think and have a good week ahead!! :)

#a love so beautiful #致我们单纯的小美好 #replies #i'm not really sure if i'm making sense hahahaha #drama watching #random thoughts

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x15 recap

(aka the one where the team does their own version of WifeSwap and also takes down a trafficking ring)

So I don't know if anyone is still interested in these (other than the couple of anons who have been gently reminding me about getting this done haha) but in honour of the new ep this week, here's my recap of last ep aka ~The Dream Team Reshuffle~

Okay so are these Kurt/Roman sparring sessions a spectator sport?? Because if so, seriously sign me up right now for a lifetime membership haha. Goddamn. And I just-- I mean, the level of trust here? The kindness? Weller understands that Roman needs both freedom and an outlet, so he gives him both, under the guise of 'triggering memories' for information on Sandstorm. Sure, that's the official explanation, but lbr he really just did it because he knows how he would feel being in Roman's shoes. And plus, what better way to get to know the brother of the woman he's in love with? ~Brother-in-law bonding time~ Aaww yeaahhh. I also love that he actually pins Roman-- Roman may be a trained warrior, but Weller's no slouch either. Just because he wears a suit most of the time doesn't erase the fact that he's literally one of the best agents the FBI has. And then ughhh Jane comes in just as he's got Roman pinned and I love that the vibe is instantly like "uh-oh, busted" haha. I love the shock in Jane’s voice though and the way she says 'Kurt'-- tbh I think it's both a "Kurt don't hurt him" and "Kurt is everything okay" because in that split second she doesn't know if this fight is just sparring or has turned real and there's just a flicker of panic where she doesn't know what to do and then Roman is all "we're fine" (aka ‘chill sis we're just engaging in manly bonding’) and she just stares, even more shocked, as Weller grins and pulls Roman to his feet. Like literally this scene has been going for like 30 seconds and I just love everything it has achieved-- Roman is proving to Weller that he can be trusted, bc he didn't try to hurt him or escape while they were sparring, Weller is proving to Roman that he understands and respects his needs and that they can be allies despite coming from opposing sides, and Weller's proving to Jane that he's good hubby material :P and obviously that he cares enough about her to go out of his way for the people she loves. Ugh. And when she suggests Roman going out into the field, he's so gentle and apologetic about why they can't allow that. And then he leaves her to take Roman back to the cell, showing trust in them both. Ugh. What a genius scene, to be so packed with meaning in such a short space of time. I also appreciate Roman trying to convince Jane to tell Weller the truth about Emma bc it’s the right thing to do (seriously woman he’s right, hurry up with that! I'm so annoyed about the lack of learning from past mistakes that's happening here like seriously this can only go badly ugh)

Wait Nas' source-phone is ringing?? Good thing she remembered the code phrase after all these months haha. Also considering that I'm still on the 'Remi was the source' bandwagon, I feel like this meet-up is a trap...

Naw Jeller walking to the lab together and then WAIT WHAT HE ASKED ABOUT THE DATE. Omg. The awkwardness level just shot through the roof (and probably continued up several floors) and Jane is staring at him bc lbr the ~thing~ between them is like the elephant in the room that goes carefully ignored and then suddenly he's asking about something that's directly elephant-adjacent and it's like is this really happening? and then she's still speechless and he assures her she doesn't have to talk about it with him (while looking like he's practically about to cry jesus christ what are you two doing to me) and then he tells her that her whole date thing got him ~thinking~ and her eyes go wide and she stops breathing because is he about to acknowledge the elephant and lbr she's so stunned at even the possibility that this could be happening but she's SO READY for it and ugh I bet her heart is racing rn and ugh ours certainly are because we're all like YES TELL HER ADMIT YOUR LOVE KISS HER KIIISSSSS HEERRRRRRR, and then--- "we need to be careful. Sandstorm is everywhee" and oh man. All that buildup just goes poof! and disappears. Goddammit, Weller, you stupid boy. Couldn't you see how loudly her eyes were screaming 'kiss me'?? Or maybe you could, and that's why you look so sad, because you believe that you two can/should never be together again. But more likely he just assumed that her stunned look was her being uncomfortable about discussing her love life with him. Ugh you two are IDIOTS. Idiots, I tell you. But lbr I do love the fact that Weller is telling her to stay away from Oliver to protect her, which I'm sure is entirely genuine-- or at least, he's convinced himself of that. I wonder if he's aware that he also just wants her far far away from any other man. And then omg Nas appears, interrupting their private moment (I love the look they exhange like they're not quite ready to let go of their connection just yet) and lol I just love that this single moment is like a total metaphor for Nas' involvement in this show, her very presence interrupting their progress back towards one another. Ugh. But anyway sidenote, it looks like when they head to the lab they actually all head back in the direction they had just come from in the first place?? Unless I got all turned around while I was focusing too closely on Jeller's intense eye contact lol, I mean that’s certainly a possibility

Anyhow they head into the lab and there's a conspicuous absence-- Reade is nowhere to be seen, which is no surprise to us, because that dude has become flakier than old paint, but it is to Weller, who has been a little too distracted in the recent weeks to have the team totally in grip like he used to. And luckily for Reade, he has Zapata to cover for him, who gives a hurried excuse of train delays. Ah, transport troubles. An oldie but a goodie. Patterson unwittingly helps by just getting straight down to business, directing all their attention to a photo of Jane's hip and thigh, meaning that they all have a clear view of the curve of her butt as well. I wonder if Jane is so used to this team seeing her body that she just doesn't even register the invasiveness of it anymore? Does Weller ever feel weird about looking so clinically and professionally at something that he would very much like to look at in a non-work setting?? But anyhow. I love that when Patterson's talking about the tattoo being a coin that has the date 1776, a hint of sarcasm creeps into her voice as she says 'the birth of our great nation'. I hope Ashley herself put that slight inflection (and social commentary) on it. Also yay Rich gets a small shoutout since he recognised the symbol from the center of the coin, which relates to some smuggler dude. I hope he’s happy back in whatever prison he’s in. And then there’s some complicated puzzle-solving involving another related tattoo that points them to some fancy medical clinic/heatlh spa thing. Jane reads the Greek off the tattoo because of course she can, and when she asks how it all ties together, Patterson quips, "It's all Greek to me!" and looks at big bro Weller with like an 'eh? eh??' expression. He's not amused, but dw Patterson, because we are. You're the cutest and it's great to see you getting your humour back. And then Weller decides they need to all split up-- a team to talk to some dude that has a connection to the smuggler, a team to check out the medispa, and a team to stay behind and coordinate everything and chase other leads as they arise. Naturally Patterson is the latter, and he pairs Jane and Tasha (yaaaaaasssss) to talk to the dude, but then rather than taking Nas with him to the medispa, he says he'll be taking Roman instead. I love that everyone's like 'whaaaaa?', especially us lol. And then he says that he got a call from Pellington threatening to give Roman to the CIA unless he starts giving them useful info and ugh I so want to know if that's true or if he just made it up so no one would try to fight him on his decision to take Roman on the mission?? Zapata's kinda against it but not firmly against it like she would have been a couple of weeks ago, and I'm super interested to see how she and Jane will work together given their conflicting opinions over Roman and their rocky relationship in the past. I have high hopes for some quality bonding time so please don’t let me down, show 

Ooh we're doing another timejumping episode like the college shooting one back in S1. Tasha is leaving a (well deserved) angry voicemail for Reade  while Jane delivers Roman to Weller and tells Weller to be safe out there. Which is her telling him to look out for both her brother and for himself and ugh I love being back to a place where these two are allowed to openly care about each other again rather than pretending like they don’t. And then naww speaking of caring, Jane checks to make sure Zapata is okay when she hears her sounding upset on the phone. Ugh yaaaayyy at them being friends aain. And then ugh they work together so well as they interrogate the prisoner guy (sidenote, I love the way Zapata says her own name. It’s hot.) and they're just so in sync and so great and just ugh. And then when they come out of the room Jane tentatively asks about Reade-- she knows something is going on and she wants to help because she cares. But she also knows that Zapata is protective of Reade and might push her away for pyring and ugh my little baby Jane just wants all of her family to be safe and happy and ughhhh she's the sweetest. I'm glad Zapata doesn't lash out, she just plays it off as no big deal, saying he just slept in. Jane knows it's not true but accepts it anyway (after making it clear she would help if help was needed). And then a new lead comes in and so they head out-- and omg Zapata is the one to reach out first, admitting it's kinda nice having Jane with her instead of Reade for a change, and then making sure she knows that she doesn't have anything against Roman anymore, she’s just worried about his former Sandstorm ties. Whaaaat. Zapata noticing that Jane is quiet/possibly upset and makes an effort to sort-of apologise to try to make her feel better? Amazing. And then Jane is honest with her about what's really bothering her-- that Weller (who is almost exclusively 'Kurt' to her these days ugh) warned her about trusting Oliver and risk of ties to sandstorm. And omg Zapata's immediate response is 'ooooh you're seeing someone?" and ugh I KNEW the ~supportive girlfriends~ connection between them was still in there. My beautiful supportive lady friends are back. She's happy for Jane, though she acknowledges that it's possible Weller has a point. And then omg they bond over the impossibility of having a life outside the job and Zapata tells Jane about her grandparents’ love story and how she has being single down to a science (me too girl, me toooo) and UGH THE BONDINGGGGGG THIS IS EVERYTHIG I'VE EVR WANTED. Anyway they arrive at the auction house place and tbh I love how small Zapata looks in this ep?? She's such a teeny pocket rocket haha. Then the blonde lady who just sounded very stressed on the phone shows them through to the back area (literally guys it's hard for anyone to believe that you're just two random peeps looking for a coin for Jane's 'dad'. You both have ~Badass Warrior Woman~ written all over you. But lucky they are so badass, because now they're in the middle of a gunfight. Which Jane has literally broguht a knife to. Help, I'm dying over the subtle comedic genius of this writing loll. Also Jane just used that knife to make a dude stab himself in the chest and then she threw him through a window. Good lord, have I mentioned lately how incredible this woman is?? Of course Zapata has held her own very well too, taking out the other dude with a crack shot before the two of them regroup and are like 'what the hell just happened??' lol

Oooh okay we've jumped back to 9am now, where a gorgeous woman is creeping out of Reade's coke-palace, while he pretends to be asleep til the door closes then groggily listens to Tasha's voicemail. Meanwhile, Patterson has been working hard because she's amazing and not flushing her life down the toilet despite the horrible things she’s gone through, and she cracks the tatt just as he gets there. She knows he's lying about his dentist appointment but she’s just like 'whatever bitch let's go, we got bad guys to hunt'. And then lol I love the fact that she's the one driving. She looks so tiny in this huge car. It's probably a good idea though-- are we sure he's sober enough to drive? But anyway she fills him in, and then gets interrupted by a call from Dr Sun, which makes me nervous. No one should be trusting Dr Sun ever. Therapy is great and I fully support it, but please honey go find a nice therapist faaaaaar removed from anything to do with Sandstorm or the FBI or Nas. Like how about my mother?? She'd love to go back to NYC for a while lol. But anyway I appreciate that Reade actually asks her how she's doing and genuinely cares about the answer. He might be living in an emotional trashcan at the moment but he still loves his team. But sigh, for a moment I was hopeful that Patterson's healthy approach to trauma would inspire him but instead he just tries to tell her she needs a night out. No Reade, your form of therapy is not good for anyone. Though I would be supportive of Patterson and Jane and Zapata having a nice little girls’ night in at some point... but anyway my genius baby can tell Reade's off but there's no time for that bc they're at the bad guy's house. But of course he walks up, talking on his phone to the blonde coin lady, just as they're at his door. So now we know who she was talking  to just as Jane and Zapata got there... Also man everyone's life would have been so much easier rn if this was the 80s and no one had mobile phones to coordinate with haha. Still, if Reade had been keeping a proper lookout... and then he gives chase and catches him, but somehow the guy mesmerises him with an emotional speech on hating himself and oh geez. Come on, Reade, you’re better than this. But nope, like an idiot he lowers his gun and is about to get shot when Patterson saves his ass (yeahhh, girl!). Back at the lab, he awkwardly thanks her and she responds by asking him if he's okay and trying to get him to get help with his problems. But of course he's not interested, and then someone comes and interrupts anyway, and now they have info on the smuggler person helping a cartel with something. Also lol Reade shows her a bill he found in that dudes apartment for some building, and its printed on perfectly clean, unfolded paper. Idk how you guys get your bills, but they sure don't look like that after being through the postal system. But anyway they send a raid on the building, finding a bunch of empty beds with handcuffs attached-- and then we see the people chained up in a van with the smuggler guy watching over them. Right, human trafficking it is...

Back to 9am (lol it's like a mini groundhog day for us) and Weller runs into Nas in the corridor, telling her to take backup to her meet while she's all 'yeah, nah' then tells him to watch his back with Roman. Bitch, he's much safer with Roman than he is with you! Ugh. And then Roman and Jane are in the elevator and he's so worried about letting Weller down and not remembering anything and being sent to the CIA and ugh my poor baby puppyyyy. And then naww Jane promises that she won’t let them take him away from her. Also it's interesting that the camera followed Jane there for a minute, showing us what we've already seen, rather than just following directly after Weller and Roman after Jane hands him over. Seemed kind of like unnecessary doubling up. But anyway ugh Roman and Weller getting into their cover outfits and talking about the plan and just overall working together and I'm so happy about it. But not as happy as I am about these GLASSES omg. Weller. Be still my heart. Lol but I’m laughing at “No weapon for me?" "Just act like you have one" bc now I'm picturing Roman with his hand hovering over his hip like a gunslinger, and like a balled up pair of socks shoved under his belt to make a bulge under his jacket hahaha. But then omg Roman thanks him for bringing him out and giving him a chance, and Weller says it's all about getting them closer to Shepherd so they can take sandstorm down and move on, but lbr that's only part of it. Part is that he feels for Roman and what he’s going through. And a big part is his feelings for Jane :P And aww I love that they made up a backstory for Roman, aka the bodyguard who is not even meant to speak. Who's gonna quiz him? Other than Weller, I mean lol. I love these two getting along. And lol "you're security, open the door" haha, he's already behaving like a pampered rich guy. Oooh this place has exactly the same security as the auction house, and the guy has the coin displayed on his desk?? Seems kinda arrogant when it's apparently the symbol of your shady dealings. And then Mr White Teeth gets all distracted by Roman's scar which is stupid bc he would never risk offending a rich client by wasting their time focusing on their bodyguard instead. And then Roman gets pissed and grabs him which earns them a timeout in the meditation room haha. A place that is clearly not very tranquil for Weller bc this time he's the one getting pissed and grabby-- and then Roman smugly presents the key-fob for the restricted area and Weller is all '...damn. I think I like this kid' lol. And then when they sneak into the area, Weller gets a call and the whole team does an adorable little conference call to update each other on what they've found out so far. While they're chatting Roman uses broken medical instruments to pick a lock on a cabinet and while that totally wouldn't work (trust me I'm a lockpick now lol) it's super cute that he opens it and then steps aside like it's an offering to Weller. And then he reappears a moment later with some medical files, allowing Weller to put together the answers-- that the cartel is trafficking people to be used as organ donors at this medispa. Then ta-da, the blonde woman appears, but by the time Roman and Weller get there, she's killed the doc and made a run for it. The badass bros-in-law chase her down and find her-- only to be tazed and kidnapped. Oops.

Back at the NYO, the team is set on finding the boys (especially Jane, which is unsurprising since it's the two people she loves most in the world). Nas has to go to meet her source and everyone is like "k, byeeee" and immediately forget about her the moment she leaves the room. Jane realises that the guy they interrogated earlier must know more than he let on so she and Tasha and Reade lean on him with their new info-- turns out his gf was doing all the trafficking stuff without his knowledge. I kinda feel sorry for the guy. Also I was gonna say he reminded me a little of Lin Manuel Miranda somehow and then I realised that it's because he's from Hamilton haha. Sigh, I will see it someday.... Anywho, he helps them by giving them a location where they can find the truck and therefore rescue the victims and their boys :)

Speaking of which, both Weller and Roman are chained up inside the truck with the others, and Roman is freaking out bc it's giving him flashbacks and ughhh Weller pulls him out of the memory and reassures him and ughhhhh my boys. And then the other prisoners help them figure out a way to escape and we find out Roman can speak Spanish bc he really is Jane’s brother (man I gotta start learning spanish so one day I can just randomly whip it out like that). Anyhow the team is at the site and are all spreading out ready to take down the bad guys and then ugh Jane sees Weller in the truck and there's a second of eye contact and then the team dives into a gunfight with the baddies (bc it's not Blindspot if there's not multiple epic showdowns per ep) and while they're engaged in that, Weller chases down the blonde and Roman goes for the smuggler, and Jane runs after them both bc she's gotta protect her boys. I love that Weller goes all Assassin's Creed and jumps from truck to truck, then pauses as he sees the blonde fleeing one way and Roman fighting a losing battle the other way-- so he directs Tasha and Reade after the woman and dives to Roman's rescue, shooting the bad guy a second before he cuts Roman's throat. And Jane is there a second later and ugh the fear in her voice as she yells Roman’s name and then ugh the way both she and Weller crouch over him ughhhh I know he's her brother but in a way they're both parent-figures to him and ugh I get emotional about it. Meanwhile Tasha and Reade are still searching for the blonde, who shoots Zapata in the freaking back, like seriously how dare she do that to my precious baby. Thank god she was wearing a vest. Reade is as pissed about it as I am, so he shoots the blonde in the back too which has just a hint of poetic justice to it tbh

Ughhhh Jeller finding each other in the hallway and she checks if he's okay and he immediately asks after Roman and she tells him that Roman's fine thanks to what he did (yes boy are you figuring out that the way back to this woman's heart is by caring about and protecting those she cares about?? Which includes yourself btw so no foolish business please). And then awwww he admits that he kinda enjoyed hanging out with Roman and he kinda likes him and she's THE CUTEST as she teases him about playing it cool so he doesn't come on too strong and ugh she jokes about it but I bet that his acceptance and liking of Roman means EVERYTHING to her. And then omg Weller brings up Oliver AGAIN (booooooiiiiii whatre u doingg) and then he tells her that though she should be careful she doesn't have to give up all aspects of her life for this fight and she's all 'so you think I should give him a chance?' (aka 'so you've definitely moved on then?') and he's all 'well that's up to you' (aka 'I literally want every man bar me to stay as far from you as possible but I can't even admit that to myself right now let alone to you so I'm gonna hedge hedge hedge') and then what the HELL is THIS bc he genuinely compliments her about always looking for the best in people and then says that it's ONE OF HIS FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT HER. ONE OF MULTIPLE FAVOURITE THINGS. ABOUT HER. LORD SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL. AND UGH HER WHISPERED 'thank you' AND THE WAY HE SMILES AT HER WITH THE CRINKLY EYES AND THEN EVEN AS THEY WALK AWAY SHE LITERALLY PAUSES AND ALMOST TURNS BACK AND UGHHHHHH WHAT IS THIS BEAUTIFUL TORTURE I LOVE-HATE IT SO MUCH

Omg then the next thing Jane does is go to Tasha and ask for her help doing a background check on Oliver which is adorable and then they find out he changed his name (so he CHOSE the last name 'Kind'?? Literally what kind of damn pretentious... sigh nevermind) and Zapata tells her not to jump to conclusions about it and Jane just looks at her and is all 'would you' and she's all 'oh yeah' and ughhhhh these two cuties ughhh

Speaking of cute pairs, omg Weller is literally visiting roman in his cell with beers and asking him if he's okay and tells him he did good work and ugh they smile at each other and joke about the spanish thing and then Roman is honest about not wanting to remember the bad things he's done and ugh Weller shares some background on his shitty childhood and ugh LOOK AT THIS BONDING. LOOK AT IT, ANAKIN. And so clearly all the pairs are having a little post-mission ~moment~ rn bc now Patterson and Reade are talking in the locker room and firstly oooh Weller's having some drinks at his place tonight, I bet Jane is gonna be there. Ugh wait I wonder if that's why he brought the beers to Roman, bc he knows he couldn’t let Roman come but he wanted to share the moment with him somehow and ughhh help me. But anyway unlike the sweet bonding of the last two pairs, this is Patterson basically calling Reade out on his shit, which I am SUPER supportive of. Then he gets defensive and says she's being stupid, which I am not at all supportive of. But she ignores him and continues on, making it clear she knows what's going on. And omg she has a brother who's an addict and maaannn this is such fascinating backstory I want to hear 100% about this. But ugh then Reade gets even more defensive and basically tells her to shut up and bugger off and grrrr Reade I am really not a fan of you these days. I miss the Reade that was sweet and sassy and supportive and stupidly in love with Sarah Weller. I loved him, but I really don't like this guy much at all. Sigh.

Speaking of guys I don't like, Oliver shows up at Jane's apartment, and yet again when he speaks I'm reminded of that terrible terrible accent of his. But sigh I will acknowledge that he's kinda sweet and they are cute with their little hand-holding thing and whatever. But oooh she goes for it an asks him about the name change and he gets pisssssseeedddd. Lbr there's probably going to be some completely legit reason for it like he had a really terrible family situation or whatever, but lbr I don't really care bc it means it got him out of her apartment (a dinner-at-home date seems like the prime situation for some lovin', so I'm very glad that it crashed and burned lol)

Aaaand speaking of crashing and burning, the basically-forgotten Nas has reached her meet-point and is now being garrotted. Oh well. But then lbr we all know she doesn’t die so no point in getting excited. Er, I mean ‘worried’...               

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #sooo late but also appropriately timed for the new ep so...? #Ugh I loved this ep though #the bonding was just the beeeessstttt #and the jeller is getting closer and closer I can feel it #I'm so ready

[naototainaka]

I just wanted to get this outta my chest

Man....I’m feeling really depressed these days.

Reason: my environment.

My college-life has been challenging my sanity, not only the difficulty of the classes I’m taking (I major in Japanese Literature) suddenly kicking up by a 100 this semester, I barely have any time off now, and the students at my classes are filled with.....bigoted, homophobic, illiterate cunts.

That’s not the only thing, this group of cunts are currently bullying me indirectly.

Here’s the full story:

There IS a reason why these assholes started to indirectly bullying me.

But let me go back a little bit to explain more regarding this certain group of girls.

So, before the thing that I did that caused them to have their eyes on me, I already hated them, so damn much. They’re fucking loud in the middle of the classes, and by loud I mean FUCKING SCREECHING, literally, not even an exaggeration. They are all screaming either about handsome guys, handsome oppas, or talking about a homophobic stuff.

Example regarding homophobic stuff: 

“Have you heard? xxx is a lesbo!! Oh god groosss.”

“Ewww, get away from her! It’s contagious!”

Or something along those lines, I’m usually fine with people talking about homophobic stuff, BUT, there’s a reason why I’m so triggered because of this. No, not only because I’m gay, but....I suspected that they are deliberately talking about this in a loud voice, so that I in particular can hear them talking about it.

It’s not a baseless assumption, though. My kouhai who is in the same classes (I took a semester off once, so I’m in my kouhai’s classes now) told me that back at their first semester, the “leader” of this group of girls commanded the entire class to avoid me, because I’m gay.

(Note: no, I never openly came out, but since I’m a really manly girl aka butch, people were able to assume my sexual orientation from appearance alone lol)

According to my kouhai, this group LOVE to bully people in their class, usually by indirect bullying (ie. dissing out loud regarding the people they do not agree with), and out-casting people. All the kouhais I’m friendly with in the classes are all victims of this group’s indirect bullying.

So, yes, I don’t think my assumption is baseless, yeah?

But, it wasn’t that bad for me before, because these girls were afraid of me (I dunno why lmao). These days, this group is getting worse with their bullying, and this time they are obviously targeting me.

It was because of something I did last semester; I told the senseis that this group of cunts are cheating. Honestly, if it’s just a peeking a wee bit thing, I won’t fucking care, but these girls actually took out the question sheet from its (unopened) envelope, took a picture of it, AND SEND IT TO THE CLASS’S LINE GROUP.

They went too far, so I did what I think was right.

Another reason why I actually report them to the senseis was because....well, academic-wise, I’m just average. Hell, compared to the people in my original class (before I took the semester off) I’m counted as pretty dumb. (My friends in that original class are mostly geniuses, so no wonder I guess lol) 

So yeah, I’m just average, right? And these girls are all.....um, dumber than me. They all can’t even properly read and pronounce Japanese. And their scores are....way lower than me. ME, someone who is not smart...at all!

That’s why I was so pissed off to see how far they all go with cheating, these girls doesn’t even study properly (with all the screamings in classes), they aren’t smarter than someone with poor academic like me, and they bully people as if they are all queens?

That’s why I decided to try and expose them all.

But, no good deed goes unpunished, I guess. They seem to find out I was the one that ratted out on them, and now they just can’t stop screaming something like this every single day:

“Omg, if I sit right here, I can’t chea--woops, I forgot, I shouldn’t say anything or else I get ratted out~”

or

“Hey guuurrrlllss! Remember to not cheat or you will get ratted out~”

So yeah, everyday my anger is through the roof now because of this.

Listen, this bullying stuff doesn’t make me feel small or anything like that, but it makes me angry. 

I have...bad history with anger management, I tend to be really violent (like, fist to fist kinda violent) when I’m pissed for real, maybe because when I was young, I was quite the delinquent haha. So because I have issues with anger management, and I really wanted to control myself (I really don’t want to ruin my education), I kept all the anger in for these last couple of months, and it’s killing me inside.

And since it’s still eating me right now, I decided to share this, I just really need to get this outta my chest.

Let me be honest, this freaking thing that’s eating me right now sometimes makes me have these....thoughts. Thankfully, my girlfriend is always there for me, so whenever these thoughts came back, she’s able to swat it away. So don’t worry, I’m still standing strong and not taking any cowardly actions.

I won’t let these cunts defeat me, I won’t let them steer me. I am only controlled by me, and they are not important in my life.

Wish me luck.

#Rant? #I guess so... #I just need to get this out here so I won't go crazy #random talk

[chasing-rabbits]

I dont think the monetizing on your mentally ill page is a bad idea, IF you do it the right way. I think the idea behind spreading the word of mental illness, raising awareness and destigmatizing it is what we need to do. If selling buttons or stickers or shirts or what have you to sell accomplishes this goal then go for it! I would buy a pin that says " __awareness" I would NOT buy a pin that says "SOS my girlfriends bipolar" BUT ur smart and you get it so I doubt you would do that anyway lol

Well considering I have bipolar and bpd and am currently battling stigma from MH professionals yeah I just i see on redbubble the site i use for my vegan designs. Like I looked up bipolar some of it was just horrible like there was these his and hers tops and it was basically correlating bipolar gf w/ crazy etc and i just...idk i find it in v. bad taste especially since i found no evidence to suggest this person has bipolar or any mental illness that is heavily stigmatised. I understand using dark humor to cope but i feel if you are going to sell on the nose dark humor related merch it should be about a disorder you personally have. You know? Also i would not sell even dark humor stuff that uses the word crazy in reference to bipolar. Like when I say dark humor and stuff i mean like i used to follow a blog called self harm shark and some ppl sent it hate saying it glorified it and such but honestly it helped me on tough nights not to cut/not to feel less alone i actually felt less crazy because many user submitted stuff I could relate to and its one of those things where you might think youre alone in feeling this or that and you realise youre not and that is sad sure that someone else experiences it too but it is relieving to know youre not the only one it makes you feel less crazy bcos u realise its not just you so its almost like not normal but its not like youre the only one who experiences it therefore you just idk im not good at explaining it just makes me at least feel less crazy etc. But yeah i mean..idk i just think yeah certain things shouldnt be joked about and i feel like if youre not suffering with said mental illness or dont have a relative or partner or anything with said mental illness you shouldnt really even consider making dark humor or on the nose jokes/humor/memes to sell etc. Cos it comes off as more well..do you actually think that? Are you stigmatising us or thinking these things? Are you trying to make a buck off mental health but you dont care about the mentally ill? You know you just never know someones intentions. I know like for example i woudlnt want to buy vegan merch off someone whose not vegan who doesnt believe in the vegan lifestyle..when I could buy a vegan pin or magnet or coaster set etc from a vegan trying to work hard to make a living its just yeah... I have some designs in mind actually that i have already created for bipolar and mental illness. I actually have one saying my mental illness is not your adjective or something like that. I do have one i created that says ‘bipolar af’ i created it when manic and now ive come out of mania im not entirely sure if its a good idea to sell it or not? I mean im not sure if that is like idk if the as fuck bit makes it sound bad or if it could be misinterpreted and seen as like..the whole using it as an adjective thing like what if people buy it who are like buying it to like use bipolar as an adjective in that terms like you know how people say the weather is so bipolar or quite often bipolar is used to describe someone who just has mood swings or someone who people might define as highly strung or ‘crazy’ idk im not sure if the AF bit makes it seem like thats how its gonna be viewed. I mean to me idk I guess it was just an idea of a shirt or pin etc saying hey im bipolar and you know im not ashamed but in less words...idk if youve noticed but im extremely like anxiety riddled and so worried of being seen as what i despise and that..like worried my designs or words might be misinterpreted or that i might have like a dark humor post or something and maybe it is abit too on the nose or that people might be upset about it or so on. I dont know because no one can police how someone copes with their illness but it is different when that person it putting it out there for sale on pins and stuff you know? Oh btw I am going to be making pins and magnets and other stuff. I am currently working on deciding if i do it through Teepublic/Redbubble or if I use this local manafacturer I found in Leeds (im from good old britland lmfao or brexshitland)  Which might be more costly because Idk that i’d be able to afford to bulk buy the products..i mean I could always do like a uhh thing where whats it called where you have a campaign and you set a limit/target so you say once i reach 100 sales i’ll buy the product and ship it out kinda thing? But idk because i mean what if it takes literally a year to reach 100 sales and people dont want to wait that long. So im not sure...i mean I could do a gofundme maybe but idk how that works..or how to set it up. I really want to focus on my Mental health blog and socials and that combines with my poetry as much of my poetry is mental health related and so recovery related too. So my poetry is less of something i really need to worry about maintaining because i write when i want to when i get inspired or when I need to vent to keep my mental health in check. So i just do it off the cuff as and when and post it to my poetry tumblr. I  have over 500 pieces stock piled that I just need to schedule to my WordPress site. So thats not an issue. So I guess right now I need to work out where to focus iike Mental Health stuff or vegan designs for my Rb or what I could do is just dedicate a day a week to the vegan designs on redbubble as its not very time consuming to create the designs. And then I can upload them like as and when maybe just spend an hour a day uploading designs and making a new instagram post and sharing that on facebook and here.  So then I have 6 days minus an hour a day to work on my mental health stuff which is my main focus and passion tbh. I guess ive been delaying it because ive been strugglign so much lately ive felt like a fraud or felt like i’d be a fraud preaching happiness and recovery and talking about things to help yourself during depressive episodes etc when i was just mooching around watching tv and just feeling blah...you know? I just..I dont know where to start with the mental health stuff and im so afraid of failing and fucking up or being judged and people thinking i suck or like recently i got accused of faking my mental illnesses from a guy in a UK businesses networking group..he sent me a tirade of hate and how he was gonna shame me for being a fake and claimed he had borderline PD and bipolar too and how hes learnt most people fake it and take advantage of the system put in place to help people really mentally ill luckily the admins removed him from the group..but its just..it really got to me you know. My biggest thing is being told im faking it because so many people think borderlines fake their mood shifts because we change happy to suicidal in seconds or at least i do sometimes at my worst..its just hard..i get it can seem attention seeking because we over react to minor issues and arguments but thats literally the definition of our disorder. we are emotionally unstable and we think and like evrything to us is in extremes i love to the max i get angry over reactive to the max i ahve extreme fears of abandonment triggered by slight changes in my relationships w/ people things others might not even pick up on.. idk i got a lot to say and dont know where to start! haha but thank you I will definitely look more into creating mental health based merchandise..