#(obi and ani had -at one point- the same shared adult figure and are actually close in age (too close for their codependency to function wel
Anakin and Slavers
"His undoing is that he loveth too much"
George Lucas
One thing that I always liked about George´s work in relation to Anakin and slavery is how out of the left field he and Dave Filoni wrote Anakin´s relationship to the people who owned or saw him as a property at one point or another and yet it makes total sense for his character.
For example kid Anakin has no doubt that Slavery is horrible and at 9 he is actually working towards developing technology to help free his Mom, friends and himself from it. He hates with capital H the fact those people have control over the life and death of other people but at the same time he has great compassion and kindness which his mother helped nurture. This along with the fact that Watto was the only adult male figure who was around during his early chilldhood, this complicated his feelings towards slavers in a very tragic way.
Anakin feared Watto´s violence and didn´t for a moment doubt he would have been willing to sell off his mother or him if the customer got to a big enough price but at the same time he listens to his advice when he travels to the dune sea to do his work with the jawas and his pov is almost as important as his Mom´s, in the novelization of TPM Anakin remembers not to talk to strangers or to get close to Tuskens Raiders camps thanks to Watto´s advice.
So in Anakin´s mind, Watto is someone he fears but also someone he takes advice from, respects to a point, sometimes gets sassy to and actually listens to almost as a father figure BUT at the same time he has no doubt he would activate the killing chip if he tried to escape.
Pain/abuse/fear mixed with care/advice(sounds familiar?) Anakin knows slavery is awful but he can´t help but see Watto as a person because of who Anakin is, Annie is a kind and understanding person and to point may justify Watto as a "Man of bussines" and "Not as bad a other masters" "It could be worse" but he definitely doesn´t trust him in the same way he does his mother, she is blood, she is family. He and Mom are a team.They shared their secrets.
The first time Anakin saw Watto again after being freed, he was a Jedi with training, almost a knight and the first thing he does to the guy who beat him and his Mom some years ago is to ask him if he can help with the ship parts Watto is working on because he noticed Watto is struggling and his bussines is falling down compared to how it was when Anakin was a kid. When Watto noticed who Anakin was he didn´t reject him and accepted his congratulations but keep himself appart, hoping to learn about his mother whereabouts.
When Watto told Anakin he sold Shmi, Anakin doesn´t have a reaction, he takes Watto´s justification of "I am sorry Ani but bussines are bussines and anyway the person who bought her freed her and married her" Anakin doubts it´s as good a picture as Watto is talking about but he takes his justification and leaves.
When he meets Owen, Beru and Cliegg he sees they are indeed nice people and the reason for his mothers suffering is something completely different that they were not able to stop so he doesn´t blame them for her fate. When Anakin lost his mother it was only natural for him to seek a family, someone he could share how he really felt and his secrets, he could not be part of the Lars family but Padme was willing to love him so she became his new confirmed family, right along with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka but while he had to show himself different to them, he didn´t had to do that with Padme, just like he did with his mother.
In the clone wars Anakin shows again this complex view of slavers with Queen Miraj Scintel, the cartoon goes out of it´s way to show she looked at him as pretty property and he didn´t let her forget that and actually it was strongly suggested he may have been raped by her at some point to keep safe Obi-Wan, Rex, Ahsoka as well as the people they wanted to save while he got enough soldiers to stage their rescue. Anakin had a plan the whole time just as he did as a kid so he keep his cool even when he saw another slave choose suicide over keep being under the control of Scintel. Yet in the end when the Queen was killed by Count Dooku Anakin felt sorry for her, he could not help it.
So this mix of rejection/anger/hate/disgust towards slavers mixed with pity/understanding which is something that was part of what made Anakin a good person gets used agaisn´t him in his relationship with Palpatine.
He first shows himself as the father figure Anakin thought he could find in Qui-Gon before he died a better father figure than Watto had been, a father figure that didn´t reject this title like ObiWan did, Palpatine did this to get his trust as a young child and later young adult and then he showed himself as the real sith master he actually was, Palpatine knew that Anakin wasn´t a stranger to be treated as property by people who showed themselves as good advicers or somehow not as bad as others despite their actions. So Anakin´s initial compassion, kindness and understanding for people that abused him is played agaisn´t him to make him fall to the darkside and chain himself again to another worse master who didn´t just seek to use his skills and body but who wanted his soul as well.
And the same reasons why Anakin justified Watto at first when he was a young kid also applied to Palpatine, he may be a sith but he ran the Republic better than those corrupt politicians, he isn´t a perfect Emperor but in Padme´s absence he is better than the alternatives. He isn´t as bad as a master and anyway I deserve this because I fell to the darkside and nobody can come back from that, if he abuses me I got this coming because I choose this and he still teaches me the ways of the force, he rescued me from Mustafar when Obi-Wan left me to die and he didn´t have to, he is all I have left.
So once Anakin´s voice died down Vader was left with many reasons to say to Palpatine "What´s your bidding my master?" because in his mind master isn´t a word that contradicts father and Palpatine became his father in all but name, this makes George´s words about Anakin fatal flaw being the fact he loved too much make complete sense and it´s a tragedy.
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the Jack/Henry dynamic we deserved is comparable to the (pre-fall) Obi-Wan and Anakin where the older feels responsible for and beholden to the younger but can never truly be the parent by a combination of lacking their own proper upbringing and a certain envy and competition with the younger, and the younger is the open and the wild and the learning who is also teaching with everything to gain and lose by being who they are next to this other person, in this essay I will-
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For your suddenly omegaverse au what exactly happened? Like I think obiwan and Anakin hop over from cannon verse to omegaverse but I am unclear on if there already existed obiwan and Anakin in omegaverse. Did they die early or do they just not exist or are they just not force sensitive and therefore not a part of the order? Is there still a sith conspiracy around Anakin?
Context: Original Post, Surrogacy, Worldbuilding, Obi-Mom, Soap Operas
So, from the original post:
There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse
Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don’t exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood.
To clarify: There has never been an Anakin Skywalker in this AU. There has never been an Obi-Wan Kenobi.
They don't know this for sure when they land in the AU, though. All they know is that the Jedi have no record of either of them. They figure, well, maybe they just got lost in the shuffle. Anakin wasn't found until he was nine, after all, and that was only by great coincidence.
The rest of this post has almost no mention of the omegaverse elements, FYI.
Warning: References to the Tusken massacre, explicit sedation and isolation of a mentally unstable individual threatening violence.
I don’t want to make light of institutionalization and involuntary holds, but Anakin is a character with a history of violence talking about repeating such an act, and that’s... a bit of an extreme case.
------
It's not that hard to convince the Temple to let them run a mission that lets them stop by Tatooine or Stewjon. Anakin cares a lot more, so Tatooine it is! Obi-Wan can tell there's something sketchy going on with Anakin's particular anxiety about this, but he rolls with it. Anakin was very specific about the timing for some reasons, and at this point, it's easier to just let it all play through.
They go well after the whole “congrats, you’re omegas... somehow,” thing has happened, a month or so before Geonosis would have happened. Obi-Wan has managed to help the council sabotage and delay the Separatist side of the war enough that they’ve gained... maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. Just a little more time to keep a few more people alive. Nobody’s reached out to Kamino yet, and Jango isn’t staging a failed assassination to draw someone in, either. They’ve bought enough time for Anakin to spend his vacation time checking in on his mom seeing if he exists here, and Obi-Wan can go with him.
They get to Tatooine. They wander about, and Anakin doesn't actually explain where they're going, but takes them straight to where the Lars farm is. Obi-Wan lets Anakin tell him that it was the Force that led him to the right area. Anakin can sense that his mom is in there, and Obi-Wan chalks up the relief from his former padawan to 'she's here and we don't have to look for her.'
Anakin is... panicking. Just a bit. What if he shows up and it turns out this reality's Anakin is off doing something completely unrelated and she realizes he's the wrong person? Or what if she doesn't recognize him and he calls her Mom anyway? What if he fucks up and says something stupid or just starts crying on her? She'll think he's insane.
Obi-Wan... takes over.
Anakin stays hidden, listening. Obi-Wan knocks on the door, and asks if there's a 'Shmi Skywalker' in residence. Someone in town mentioned her. He explains that he has a young friend of about twenty years--they're not sure, exactly, because the friend doesn't know his own birthday, but it's about there--who happens to be a Skywalker, and they're trying to see if they can reconnect him with a parent. They don't have much to go off of other than the surname... the Shmi that lives here wouldn't happen to have ever had any children about that age?
No. She hasn't had any children of her own blood, actually, her only child is her stepson, but she'd be happy to meet this other Skywalker, if he's in the area. It's always nice to find family, and connecting with those that were separated from you is a big deal on Tatooine. She's not going to look a gift bantha in the mouth.
(Cliegg, dear, put down the rifle.)
Obi-Wan promises to let his friend know, bids them goodbye, and goes to find Anakin.
Anakin is having a bit of a breakdown.
As one does.
Anakin insists that they stick around for a bit, that they do what they can to protect the farm, because that's his mom, even if she's not really his mom, and Obi-Wan can tell there's a Lot Going On here. He assumes it's because Anakin's upset his mom doesn't know him, which is a little irrational on account of their two options being "Anakin doesn't exist (and so Shmi doesn't know him)" and "Anakin does exist (but Shmi doesn't know this Anakin, so she still doesn't know him)," but Anakin's not a very rational person.
Obi-Wan thinks tamping down the current crisis is probably a little more important than chastising Anakin's attachment issues, mostly because Anakin's hands are shaking, and he's looking a little wild-eyed, and like. Obi-Wan's not great at dealing with Anakin's many and varied emotions, but he's learned at some point when it's best to just... roll with it Until There's Less Risk of Stab or Sobbing Laughter.
He helps figure out some minor fuckery with the Force to hide the family in the homestead behind them from visitors, and to warn them to hide when someone comes by. It’s not a lot--mostly just meditating and asking the Force for a helping hand--but it’s nice.
Except, well, Anakin keeps fidgeting. He keeps panicking. He has them coming back almost daily for a week, always too scared to talk to his mom but insistent on protecting her, and always looking at the calendar. Obi-Wan wants to get back to the Temple, but whatever the actual hell is going on with Anakin is too big to just ignored.
A specific day comes and goes. Anakin is a mess of jitters and nerves, and finally Obi-Wan asks just the wrong (right?) question, and... they visit Shmi.
Anakin says they can talk later, he just wants to see his mom One Last Time.
(Obi-Wan is getting more and more worried, but he sits through the incredibly awkward meeting between Anakin and his alt-universe mom, watches as Anakin has no idea what to say and almost cries, and Shmi just kind of lets him do that and Beru--a sweet girl, Obi-Wan thinks, and very practical--tells him that this is all very normal for reunited slaves.)
(Obi-Wan wonders if maybe there’s some stuff Anakin never told him about how being a slave affected him.)
(Obi-Wan had thought they’d moved past most of this, but..)
The meeting ends. There’s hugging.
They get back to the ship, and Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin fall apart. Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin cry and scream into a pillow, hyperventilate and nearly punch a hole in the wall as he rages about how it was all for nothing! Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin break into a million pieces in a way he’s never seen before.
Obi-Wan gets a confession.
Anakin tells him about the Tuskens.
It’s not an easy conversation. It’s not a short conversation, either. Anakin’s full of pain and misery and rising guilt, talks about how he’s been asking himself if it would be easier to keep his mother safe if he just killed them all now, except Obi-Wan would know, and be disappointed, and sure the Chancellor had said that they were little more than rabid animals, but Anakin doesn’t think he can kill the younglings again when his mom is still fine, and--
Obi-Wan sedates him.
He wants to say that he’s not proud of this, but... Anakin isn’t well. Anakin isn’t well in a way that is currently, specifically, revolving around doing extreme violence. Anakin is talking about going out and committing a slaughter as preventative maintenance.
Anakin stays sedated until they get back to the Temple, and he’s put in Force-suppressant cuffs--Obi-Wan quietly tells them to use something that can’t be sliced or taken apart by a droid specialist, and to avoid collars because Anakin was a slave for nearly a decade, and has a lot of traumatic associations--and in an isolated room.
It’s not a cell. Not technically.
He can’t just leave, though.
Obi-Wan hates himself for it, just a little. He doesn’t want to be doing this, not to his padawan, his brother, his son, but... a massacre. Even the younglings, he’d said.
(“He said he didn’t think he could do it again,” Obi-Wan mutters, half to himself and half to the mind healer that asks for his rundown of the situation. “I think he knows it was wrong, but...”)
(But he still did it, of course.)
It’s... better than Obi-Wan feared, but worse than he hoped.
Anakin is emotionally unstable. He has been, for a long time, but he’s usually functional. When the mind healer isn’t directly poking at his worst wounds, Anakin can more or less pass for... not okay, necessarily, but no worse than anyone else in the war had. He can say the right words. He can do a joint meditation. He can talk about philosophy the way a Knight that’s taken all the right classes does.
But part of Anakin still holds to the idea that the Tuskens deserved to die.
“This is my fault,” Obi-Wan whispers, more than once, resting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. “I should have...”
“He was an adult,” says Mace, who isn’t Mace, not the one that Obi-Wan knows, but a newer friend, one that’s still figuring how to act around him. “Young, but still an adult. He made that choice.”
Obi-Wan doesn’t answer. Things aren’t that simple.
“The timing can’t have been a coincidence,” Obi-Wan mutters to himself, later on, but in the same spot, and the same position.
The Quinlan of this universe shrugs. He knows Obi-Wan better than most, right now. Psychometry’s helpful that way, and sharing Obi-Wan’s heat hadn’t hurt. “Seems likely. You said Sith were involved and setting traps, and a kid like yours, with that much power and trauma... ripe for the molding.”
Obi-Wan whines, and then catches the noise and stuffs it back down, locks it up tight with the other ‘instinct’ things he doesn’t like to think about having. The sound already has Quinlan shifting closer, and the smell is... intended to be comforting, he thinks. Reacting to his own distress, which he’s probably just pumping out right now, because he still doesn’t know how to--
“Can I help?” Quinlan asks, and Obi-Wan lets him.
Someone gets through to Anakin, maybe, or he just lets himself be ground down, or Obi-Wan’s entreaties that he can’t teach Ahsoka until he understands his crimes get through. He won’t be trusted around the clones until the Jedi can trust him to do the right thing, they inform him.
“I wouldn’t hurt the clones.”
“Nobody’s going to believe that until you understand your crimes and truly, actually feel remorse for them.”
There wasn’t a crime, technically. Not in this universe. That tribe is still alive, here, unknowing of the fate they escaped by dint of Anakin talking himself down from committing another slaughter.
(He tells the mind healer it’s because Obi-Wan was there.)
(He might have done it, he says, if he hadn’t thought Obi-Wan would be disappointed in him.)
(He says it like it’s a foregone conclusion, that Obi-Wan’s opinion is worth more than the horror of what he might become.)
“We’re going to keep an eye on anyone talking to Palpatine,” Shaak tells him one day, after Anakin’s been mental instability hold for two weeks. “We don’t know for sure how far the similarities extend from your universe to ours, but given everything else you’ve been right about...”
“That bad?” Obi-Wan asks.
Shaak grimaces, fangs glinting in the light. “I want to believe we’d have never allowed a child into such a position, but I can’t know what political leverage may have been used in your dimension... whatever reason was had to put Skywalker in those rooms, we know the consequences now--”
“What did he do to my padawan?” Obi-Wan demands, because Anakin won’t even tell him that. Anakin hasn’t mentioned Palpatine since they left Tatooine. Not to Obi-Wan.
“Nothing physical,” Shaak manages. “But the lies he told and the suggestions he planted... it’s good they haven’t met again yet in this life. We’ll all be keeping them far apart.”
He wants to take solace in that. “Why do you know before I do?”
“Skywalker values your opinion,” she says. “Only yours. He doesn’t want you more disappointed in him than you already are, so much of what is relayed to the council as a matter of security goes no further, but this was deemed necessary to share. He agreed to it, if you worried we’d broken his confidence.”
Anakin’s therapy would normally be entirely private.
Anakin’s therapy would normally not be in response to confessions of mass slaughter.
He hasn’t asked to be let out, which Obi-Wan hopes is a sign that he realizes at least subconsciously that he was in the wrong. The mind healer says he could have been released under watch by a Master probably a day or two after he arrived, but seems to be drawing some kind of comfort in knowing he couldn’t hurt someone even if he tried.
Obi-Wan is Anakin’s emergency contact. His next of kin. His healthcare proxy. Anakin has a right to privacy, minor as it is in such a situation, and everyone recognizes and treats him as an adult, but... Obi-Wan learns as much from the mind-healer as he would have back when Anakin was actually a child.
“He trusts you to make the right decisions,” the mind healer tells him, careful and unassuming. “He has... a lot of conflicting opinions about many things, including the order, the coming war, the nature of human reproductive dynamics, the Code... but he seems keen on the idea that you are his best reference on morality and ethics.”
Oh, good, more horrifying responsibility.
“He’s better,” the mind healer tells him. “I want to get him out of here before he starts going stir crazy while still relying on the perceived safety as a crutch for his mental health. And he--”
“He’ll be staying with me,” Obi-Wan says, heavy as anything. “I know.”
“Well... there’s a war coming,” the mind healer says. She offers a thin smile when he looks at her. “I don’t want him going out, but it makes him feel useful, gives him a direction for the aggression, and... the Council is adamant that we’ll need him as much as we need you.”
It’s true.
“Did he tell you why everyone called him the Hero With No Fear?”
“No.”
“Ask him.”
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Title: infinitely varied
Ship: obikin
Summary: Sometimes your husband decides to develop an artificial intelligence capable of free choice and something called a soul and succeeds in the middle of a Thursday night. Or, more concretely: he's in the middle of succeeding because said intelligence first has to learn how to speak.Also known as Obi-Wan and Anakin teach a tiny program called A.H.S.O.K.A. how to be something more than lines of code via the power of linguistics.
AN: Happy birthday @ghostwriterofthemachine
Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied. Even the interpretation and use of words involves a process of free creation.
Noam Chomsky
I.
Life was a query of expectations, margins on doorframes, bucket lists, first loves, broken hearts, and happy middles because only fools would settle for a happy ending when they had so many decades left to live. The thought never failed to bring a smile to Anakin’s face, no matter how frustrated, remembering the simple way Obi-Wan had proposed. There had been no fancy dinner, particularly stunning outing, or anything resembling outlandish romantic gestures. Anakin would have appreciated them because every act would have been colored by Obi-Wan’s love, but now, older and wiser than the rash youth who’s fallen in love at first heated debate, he preferred the way their proposal had actually gone down. A quiet Sunday morning, eating breakfast together on the sofa while the news droned in the background from Anakin’s old radio, a hesitant “I don’t need forever, but I want the present”.
And, well, for all his genius, Anakin could be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but not when it came to this.
Married life was interesting.
Somehow nothing changed, except also everything. They had bought a real house, moved out of their old apartment and made more compromises than Anakin had ever thought himself capable of, for they hadn’t been like fighting an uphill battle but dancing together. It had made him happy to paint the entrance hall in the shade of green Obi-Wan preferred if he got to paint the kitchen in the light blue he wanted.
Obi-Wan got the attic for his office where his antique book collection looked right at home, and Anakin got the basement where the hum of his servers and the generator powering them annoyed nobody else.
It was as close to white-picket-fence as it could be with two queer men, no kids, a bratty cat, and an anxious dog under one roof. His childhood self would be appalled to see how much Anakin, always the whirlwind, had settled. To a nine-year-old, Anakin probably looked very adult.
Anakin, however, did not feel very grown-up, banging his head against his desk in the middle of the night. Obi-Wan had gone to sleep hours ago, and so had Anakin until inspiration had struck and he’d snuck out of bed to return to his favorite project.
A.H.S.O.K.A may not be a child, but Anakin certainly could relate to exhausted parents when they complained about their children in endless repetitions. To this day, Anakin didn’t know why his mother figured it would be great parenting to encourage her WarGames obsessed kid to dig into the world of artificial intelligence when WOPR nearly started a nuclear war, but he’d forever remain thankful.
Or, he’d resume being thankful when he could finally get A.H.S.O.K.A to learn. He’d rewritten her code a thousand times. It was his ever-constant companion, from his first awful-looking early 2000s website to its current incarnation. A.H.S.O.K.A could solve simple logic puzzles, given that he fed her enough data. Her solutions to tasks could be downright hilarious, but they were not enough. He wanted her to be smarter, better, capable of gaining true understanding.
Perhaps, it was a dream for the future and not a Thursday night.
Anakin didn’t have any work tomorrow morning as he worked as a freelancer, so he could afford to pull an all-nighter. But his dear husband had planned a nice afternoon for them, so Anakin should call it a night or a morning as a glance at the clock told him.
Staring at the many lines of code again, Anakin sighed and leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his by-now cold tea. Obi-Wan would definitely complain that Anakin had snatched his favorite mug once he got up and couldn’t find it in the kitchen. Anakin had bought it at the last linguistic convention Obi-Wan had taken him to.
Language is a process of free invention, it read in delicate cursive before the rest of the quote disassembled in pure chaos.
Huh.
Now there was a thought. Anakin got out of his chair and left the basement, haunted by fixed principles and infinite combinations. Up in the attic, carrying Obi-Wan’s computer downstairs again, Anakin thought on interpretations and free creations. He was as giddy and nervous as he’d been on the morning of his wedding day, which had started similarly early. Connecting Obi-Wan’s computer, and more importantly, the priced result of his thesis, to Anakin’s server felt a little like unwrapping birthday presents.
language_acquisition_prediction.exe
Enter.
II.
Obi-Wan was not surprised when he woke to an empty bed. Anakin had a habit of suddenly pulling all-nighters or getting up early before the sun even thought of rising. Given that he couldn’t smell breakfast yet, Obi-Wan deduced that Anakin had pulled an all-nighter again. He slowly crawled out of bed to avoid disturbing Artoo and Threepio sleeping to his feet. Obi-Wan was pretty sure he shared his bed more often with his pets than he did with his husband.
He walked down the stairs to the ground level and went by the kitchen to prepare himself a cup of tea. To his displeasure, Obi-Wan couldn’t find his favorite mug and so had to settle for another. After another thought, he decided to make a second one for Anakin, lavender this time so Anakin would hopefully crash after breakfast. He put both mugs on a small tray together with a couple tomatoes. Obi-Wan usually wasn’t one for eating a full breakfast on workdays – that was the influence of Anakin and his mother’s kitchen – but he was the expert in smalltime snacks. With both in hand, he walked down the second flight of stairs, down to the basement. As expected, he found Anakin at his desk, clinging to what was bound to be a cold cup, staring intensely at his screens, which were running one program or another.
“Good morning,” Obi-Wan greeted him and kissed Anakin’s cheek.
“Mo-orning,” Anakin replied, a yawn interrupting him halfway. “Wait, what time is it?”
“Eight,” Obi-Wan said. “How long have you been up?”
“Uuuh.” Obi-Wan didn’t need to see Anakin’s face to know the answer. “Did you even go to sleep?”
“I did sleep for a while!” Anakin argued. “But then I had an idea, I mean, look at this!”
Obi-Wan gave the screens a closer look. Despite common misconceptions, he was not technically illiterate. Privately, he blamed the fact that Anakin was quite well known for his tech know-how and Obi-Wan tended to talk more about literature given that he was filling in as a lecturer in the British Lit. department. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan had gotten his professorship with a program he’d written, and the code currently displayed on the screens looked very similar to a section that had given him stress nightmares. “Is that my thesis?” he asked.
“Yes, sorta, partially?” Anakin replied. “I kind of took it apart a lot and maybe corrupted it a bit, but that’s not the important part! Look what she’s doing with it.”
She could only refer to one person, intelligence. There were a few constants in their life, their new house the most recent one, and Ahsoka was probably the longest. Obi-Wan didn’t know why Anakin hadn’t set her aside already, he was happy enough to leave other started-never-finished projects lying around, but the last time he’d even just suggested such, Anakin had looked heartbroken.
Obi-Wan looked at the screen Anakin was pointing at and began to read.
script input: inhibition
auditory input 1 designation skyguy: /ˌɪn.ɪˈbɪʃ.ən/
auditory input 2 designation professor: /ˌɪn.hɪˈbɪʃ.ən/
analysis: mismatch
diagnosis: outstanding
script input: better
auditory input 1 designation skyguy: /ˈbet̬.ɚ/
auditory input 2 designation professor: /ˈbet.ər/
analysis: mismatch
diagnosis: rhoticism?
query: define
The text continued for a while, though apparently Ahsoka only picked out the mismatched parts in her analysis.
“Is that ‘Must have done something right’?” Obi-Wan asked, the connection between the words suddenly starting to make sense.
“Yes!” Anakin grinned. “I wasn’t quite sure how to teach her sounds properly because I hadn’t equipped her with a sound analysis program before and I figured that if babies just learn by listening to their parents, Ahsoka could learn by listening to us.”
“So you fed her audio of us singing?” Obi-Wan wasn’t sure whether to be impressed, confused, or just plain tired but decided to settle on confusion for now and let the course of the conversation determine where they’d end up.
“That too, but I actually just started by playing old voice messages. I figured getting her used to just one phonetic inventory would be enough for now. Honestly, for the first hour, I wasn’t even sure whether that would be of any use because she had no symbols to connect the sounds to, and I thought using the IPA might bias her.”
Because, of course, Anakin never deleted any of Obi-Wan’s voice messages and just kept them on his phone. The fact that he just glossed over it as if it weren’t anything special either made Obi-Wan smile.
“It’s cute that you think we have the same inventory,” Obi-Wan commented. “But continue. You just let her listen to sounds and then? Don’t tell me you gave her written texts.”
Anakin rolled his eyes and confirmed another one of Ahsoka’s queries before answering. “No, I gave her the IPA then and let her listen to the full inventory and then analyze which ones we use.”
That made enough sense. Obi-Wan was reasonably sure it was a great deal more complicated than Anakin was lying it out right now, but it was still within the realm of possible and not downright sci-fi. There were enough programs that could analyze speech and filter out patterns, recognize even emotions and tone. Feeding data to a computer wasn’t too different from the way babies learned, though, as far as Obi-Wan knew from talking to people with children, they didn’t like their progeny being compared to lines of code.
“And you accomplished this by feeding my thesis program, which is meant to predict the language acquisition of children, to Ahsoka?”
“Yes, that, uh, happened more or less,” Anakin said, his nose scrunched up just so that Obi-Wan knew he wasn’t certain. “I’m pretty sure I like, wrote some of it down. Not all of it because I knocked out at like 4 a.m., which resulted in pretty interesting inquiries on the great vowel shift.”
Obi-Wan froze. “She’s asking about the great vowel shift?”
There was a difference in the size of the Atlantic between analyzing sounds and recognizing a six-hundred-year-old change in pronunciation.
“Not really,” Anakin said. “She just noticed the patterns? And had inquiries? We’ve been following up on it since, mostly by also giving her written text, but I think that might have backfired and confused her a bit. I’m thinking of synching up the input with a visible feed so she’d learn to associate an actual object with the sound, but I’m not sure whether that wouldn’t just lead to her matching data instead of actually learning its relevance. Can teach an AI what an apple looks like, sounds like, tastes like, but that doesn’t mean you can teach it what an apple is and all that.”
Anakin smiled impishly, and unfortunately, despite his generally messy appearance, Obi-Wan still thought he was handsome. “Please don’t cite my book back at me like that.”
Closing his eyes for a moment and pinching his nose, Obi-Wan tried to focus. This was not how he expected to start his free day. He needed to wake up and possibly grab his notes to sort out this mess. This almost made him wish the car was still wrecked and Anakin would spend all his free time fixing that. “Did you have to start her on English of all languages?”
Anakin was fluent in two other romance languages; it would have been much easier to deal with a French AI than an English one. Sighing, Obi-Wan looked at Ahsoka’s latest question and promptly frowned.
script input: bear
auditory input: /beər/
match found: bare
analysis: mismatch
diagnosis: failed word formation
query: bear = bare?
query: deletion >bare<?
“How long has she been doing that?” Obi-Wan asked.
“Doing what— oh, that’s new.”
So Ahsoka had jumped from matching sounds to text to comparing sound to words and then referencing those words against one another. That was a logical step, but also a step Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure she should be doing without prompting.
“She thinks bear and bare are related because they have the same sound. Didn’t really expect that turn of events. Should I show her those are two different words?”
“Does she even know what a word is yet?” Obi-Wan asked in turn.
“No.”
“Then teach her what a word is first— after breakfast. I want your pancakes.”
“You never want pancakes on a Friday.”
“My husband also never decided to rope me into teaching an artificial intelligence morphology before.”
Obi-Wan needed a proper meal for this. He could talk to his students on an empty stomach, but he could not deal with the latest brand of Skywalker insanity without something sweet first.
“I haven’t—”
Ever the negotiator, Obi-Wan decided to shut Anakin up with a kiss. “After breakfast.”
Ahsoka’s many questions could wait for an hour.
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I dare you to write an Ani5 fix-it fic. I will not be taking criticism and will die on the hill that this is the most powerful ship and could’ve saved the entire clone wars. Bonus points if it features the ship Mace Windu/headaches (bc anakin is a walking mess of shatterpoints and lives to annoy Mace). Codywan to help knock some sense into anakin would also be top tier. I LOVE YOU ZEPH’BUIR
(of course i can’t do a whole fix-it in a quick prompt answer, but i think i’ve set it up for a far happier ending than in canon! support communication and education in relationships (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) and also adhd clones.
fives might be the most i’ve ever struggled with a character (‘cept maybe ahsoka....) so it took a little while to figure out how to write this scene in a way i liked. also, had to go and watch fives clips to try and get my autism brain working, and BOY HOWDY do i actually hate dbb’s take on the clones, especially the accent but everything else too. their character designs make me want to cry. so i’m begging, for me, to imagine this fives like this especially because then we get Tol Anakin and a Smol Clone BF and i think that is a seriously underutilised dynamic.
thank you for the prompt, ad, and for cursing me with this ship in the first place. someday i’ll get around to actually writing them as the battle husbands they are 🧡)
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Echo's always been good with programming, but Fives is better with the actual building. He's not any good with inventing, maybe, but putting things together? Opening them up and knowing immediately what's wrong? Fives would even say he enjoys it — and being able to talk shop with Skywalker like they're nobody mechanics from the Outer Rim instead of General and Soldier makes the long hyperjumps between missions actually bearable.
How that led to him sitting in a rarely used hallway on the Resolute with Skywalker ("Anakin," he keeps insisting with a smile), both leant over a mouse droid in pieces on a drop cloth, Fives isn't really sure. It probably had something to do with Skywalker's excited bounce when he'd come to ask if Fives wanted to help him, the sparkle in his eye reminding Fives just how young the both of them are. How, technically, he's older than Anakin.
Because, yeah, he is Anakin, not Skywalker, when they're like this. With his growing knight cut a curly untamed cloud around his ears, grease smeared on the underside of his jaw, with Fives stripped down to his blacks from the waist up, with even his blasters set on the floor next to them.
With it quickly becoming clear that Anakin doesn't actually need help to rewire the mouse droid, but had asked for Fives to join him anyways.
They've been at it for a few hours now, their jokes winding down to companionable quiet as they both work on separate parts of the droid. It honestly might have been easier to start from a scrap droid than try to rewire this one correctly, but it's easy work Fives could do blindfolded, and sharing the mutually-focused silence is actually quite nice.
Anakin is elbow-deep in the outer casing when he finally asks, "Do the clones feel love?"
And Fives almost gets up and walks away. He knows not every battalion ended up with a good Jedi, that the 212th and the 501st had been so kriffing lucky to end up with "The Team", but sometimes he forgets. Maybe that's the worst part of it: slow, personal moments like this, Fives forgets he's not natborn and bearer of a face shared with millions. Being around his general makes him forget, and maybe he had taken that for granted until now.
Or maybe it's for that reason that he hesitates from storming off, because Anakin had been the one to name Alpha, to insist on giving them proper leave, to defend them from anyone who talks down at them even if they're a planetary leader. And Rex had said something, once, about Anakin’s brain working in either/ors, being hardwired in some way to only see in black and white and believing that if you're one thing, you can't be another. That what Anakin says isn't always what he means.
So instead, he asks, "What kind of love are we talkin'?"
Anakin refuses to raise his head, and Fives can almost see him stressing about how to phrase this. "Y'know, grand romance and stuff. One-and-onlys and holodrama romcom propaganda and imagining growing old together."
"'Not quite sure what you're asking, sir." He takes a deep breath. "The short answer is yes, we can and do feel that, but the long answer is I can't speak for every brother, and I would not want to. Some of us don't feel that." Shrugging, he passes Anakin a socket wrench before he can ask for it. "But it's not because we can't, not because of the longnecks. We're bred to be obedient, sir, not emotionless."
Quiet settles over them again while Anakin processes this, his mouth twisted rather horribly. Fives starts to think he would do a whole awful lot to turn that frown back into a haughty smile.
"What do you really want to ask, General?"
"I'm married to Senator Amidala."
Now, everyone with eyes knows that. Maybe Torrent knows even better, when they've been covering for their general for over a year now, and clearly the Jedi just aren't doing anything about it — but Fives also knows Anakin has never actually told anyone about this, not even General Kenobi. Rex says Anakin still thinks they've been discreet.
"If I may be blunt, sir, this is not news."
And Anakin actually laughs at that, shaking his head as he tosses down his tools to stare at the opposite wall instead. Fives watches his gaze go distant, somewhere far away from the Resolute lost in the middle of space. “I’ve loved her since I was nine years old, Fives. I loved her through not seeing her for a decade, through her assassination attempts and the First Battle of Geonosis and becoming a knight, and I...”
Fives sighs once. “No one said you had to stay in love, sir.”
“But that’s just it,” he groans. “I’ve never known how to do anything else, how to be anything else. I don’t... know who I am without it.”
He has to look away from Anakin, then, because he’s seen brothers go stupid for people they meet on campaigns, or for their Jedi, and Fives isn’t nearly as young as some of the shinies out there, but he knows what it looks like, when they leap in without thinking. He lets out a long, slow breath, his eyes falling on the ‘saber at Anakin’s hip. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”
Anakin blinks at him, and nods.
“That’s too young to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life.” Fives raises a brow at his general’s startled expression, which is maybe more amusing (endearing) than it has any business being. “General, you’re barely an adult, just the same as the vode. If my mental timeline is right, you weren’t even twenty standard when you married Amidala, which, frankly, was reckless and unfair on her part.”
“Padmé would never–”
“I don’t mean intentionally, sir. The fact of the matter is, no wonder you don’t know who you are without her, because you’ve always had her.” That decade of no contact notwithstanding, considering Anakin didn’t not have her, either. “Senator Amidala knew who and what she was before you, and she’ll know who and what she is without you.”
“That’s not quite fair,” Anakin grumbles, but his throat is flushed in what Fives hopes is entirely appropriate guilt, or at the very least embarrassment. “It was my idea to get married after Geonosis.”
Fives snorts. “The idea of a child thrown into war, afraid to lose anything.”
“You’re being uncharacteristically candid, Fives.”
“Respectfully, sir, the last thing you need is to be coddled.” His general laughs again, this time good and bright in a way he hasn’t heard before; and then Fives can’t help what he admits next. “We weren’t allowed toys, or anything.”
Laughter cutting off abruptly, Anakin’s eyes grow haunted instead. There might not be anyone else in the galaxy with quite the same experience as the clones, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t those that understand.
“Hevy made me and Echo– Well, he said they were mythosaurs like Kal taught us about, but they looked more like sad loth cats. He cut up his own bedsheet to make ‘em, and couldn’t tell the longnecks what he’d done with it, so he just slept on the bare mattress.”
“Fives...”
But it’s clear Anakin doesn’t actually know what to say, so Fives pushes on. “Some of Fett’s instructors tried to teach us Mando’a, you know? I think Spar is the only brother that ever got fluent, the rest of us have been making up words and combining them with Basic and Kaminoan and whatever else the Cuy’val Dar spoke that sometimes we don’t even remember what language they are anymore.”
“I didn’t learn Basic until I was five.” Anakin thunks his head onto the wall behind him with a sigh, the mouse droid forgotten at his feet. “Other padawans always told me I was lucky Master Obi-Wan knew Huttese.” Ahh, kark, his general had been a Hutt salve; at least the spice runners made sure their slaves could communicate with their customers. “I couldn’t read a word of Aurebesh when I first came to the Temple, though to be fair, I couldn’t read anything else, either.”
“You grow up around other kids?”
“Yeah, my mom and I lived in the biggest slave slum on Tatooine.”
Fives doesn’t need to tell him how lucky he was just to have had their own quarters. “I think, sir, that the vode know better than you think, what it’s like always standing on the edge of losing everything.”
Squeezing his eyes closed, Anakin inhales sharply and clenches his fists over his knees. “What happened? To your mythosaur toys?”
“One of the longnecks found them while we were in training, ‘threw them out before we got back. I think Hevy was even more upset than we were.”
The leather glove over his prosthesis creaks as he tightens his grip on his own palms. “Was it easy? To just... forget about them?”
“Of course not,” Fives snorts and crosses his arms, “we were the equivalent of eight standard at the time, but we honestly didn’t have a choice. As we got a little older, we stopped trying to put meaning in things, because we weren’t allowed things. Our names are our only real possession, even our armor can be taken from us, but we will not, cannot, let anyone take our names.”
Groaning, Anakin scrubs his hands over his face before pushing himself up to finally look at Fives properly. He still doesn’t speak for a moment, just watching him, then teases flatly, “You’ve been spending too much time with Cody and Obi-Wan, you’re starting to speak in riddles.”
“They are riddles only to you, sir.” He offers a small smile, and is only slightly disappointed when Anakin doesn’t return it.
Instead, he lets out a winded breath. “So. You’re saying that it’s not easy to let go of even small things, but we must. And then there are things that we shouldn’t let go of?”
“Some things aren’t ours to keep.”
Anakin swallows. “Like Padmé,”
“Like any person, no matter what sort of love we have for them.”
Groaning, Anakin pulls his knees back up close and drops his face into his arms. “But I still love her.”
Knowing that this is not a new problem, that General Kenobi has been trying to teach his general this for as long as they’ve known each other, Fives takes a moment to consider. “You don’t really have to stop loving her.”
“But you said–”
“You think I stop loving my brothers when they die?”
Whether or not it’s healthy to hold onto affections for someone after a romantic relationship is a conversation for another time, Fives decides, and leans over to pick up where Anakin had left off with the droid.
“General, it sounds to me like you already know all this,” he says, twisting a wire into the grip of his glove to yank it from the motor. “And that you’re digging your feet in — which is the crux of the problem, isn’t it?”
“You sound like Obi-Wan,” he groans, but doesn’t deny it.
“Hmm, well, at least we’re still just kids.”
Anakin very slowly looks up from his arms, just enough for Fives to see his wide eyes. “What do you...?”
“Well, we’ve still got time to learn, don’t we?” Fives raises his eyebrow as he fits the new wire into the motor and starts to close all the panels back up. “I still think about Hevy and Droidbait and Cutup, and honestly, I still think about Echo’s and my mythosaurs. That’s not a bad thing, I don’t think, not even the Jedi would think that’s bad. I’m still angry when my vode don’t get funerals and I honestly hold that against the Chancellor and the Jedi both. But I don’t get to go back to Kamino and take my anger out on the longneck that took our toys, and I’m... working on it, not being so angry with the generals. I’m still angry. But I know the Jedi have about as much say in all of this as we do, and I know burying my brothers won’t bring them back. So I’m working on it.”
“I... don’t have to be good at it all at once.”
“Great Maker, General, just because you’re the Chosen One doesn’t mean you have to actually be good at absolutely everything from the start. You just have to try, and you still have time to.”
He looks up and finds Anakin already smiling back. “Fives, I could kiss you.”
“Considering it sounds like Senator Amidala just divorced you, I think that’s a very bad idea, sir.”
“Bah, you’re no fun.”
Fives feigns offense, “This mouse droid we’ve rigged to follow Captain Rex around and scream says differently.”
-
The night the 501st returns to the Resolute after finally (kriffing finally) leaving Umbara, Fives finds a hand-sewn stuffed mythosaur on his bunk, with a string collar and a dogtag etched with CT-782.
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Mando’a:
Cuy’val Dar — “Those who no longer exist”, group of 75 Mando’ade and 25 others put together by Jango to train the clones
vod/e — “brother/s, comrade/s, sibling/s”, technically gender neutral but used most often in fandom as “brother/s” (*in this context, fives is using brothers as gender neutral as well, because you won’t take trans and nb clones even from my cold dead hands*)
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Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people
Tagged by @thewillowbends. These lists are always hard, but that’s kind of the fun of them! And that’s why we cheat and sometimes have lots of ties because no you can’t make me choose.
1. Thor from Marvel’s Cinematic Universe - I am a sucker for a character who has their shit together but can still be human and face ridiculously traumatic experiences and come through them whole because they had a rock solid foundation to begin with. From being thrown out of Asgard, made mortal, and taking that chance to suck it up and make himself better that he did that himself to the loss of pretty much his entire family and most of his people and his sense of purpose, the thing I love about Thor is that he keeps getting back up. That kind of fortitude is even more appealing that the ridiculously hot lightning powers.
2. Tsukino Usagi from Sailor Moon - I always loved her in the ‘90s anime, but reading the manga skyrocketted her into this special untouchable place in my heart. The beginning of her journey is a girl who is so fragile that she would kill herself if she didn’t have the emotional support around her, who had to take step after step forward to find her inner strength, who wasn’t weak or terrible for her fragility, but instead her story was worth telling for it, that the point she started out as was just as valuable as the place she ended up, where she could be the one to stand up to save her friends and get them back herself, that journey was worth telling. I LOVE HER TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.
3. Thranduil and Maedhros from Tolkien’s Legendarium - It was really hard to choose, because I love a lot of the characters (and I feel badly leaving Thingol and Maglor off the list and I will fight a bitch for Galadriel and Elrond and listen Glorfindel is pure joy and also the internet is too mean to Elwing and I kind of want alllll the Melkor and Manwe fic because sobs they’re brothers shut up you can’t make me not have feelings about that, but also trashbag Melkor/Sauron and--) but those are the two I usually wind up wanting to know their pov in a fic I’m reading or have them around when shit’s going down because I want to see what they’ll do or I just miss them the most when they’re not there.
4. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars - If you asked me to pick between them, I don’t know that I could. Yeah, sure, I love Obi-Wan ridiculously, but if you give me five minutes, I’m pretty much always going to drift back to talking about Anakin and his issues instead. I’m not sure I can even boil them down into a nutshell about why I like them so much, they’re the kind of characters that I love so intensely and with such big, sweeping thoughts, that I’d have to write a whole essay. But my best attempt: Anakin’s being both dumbass and genius at the same time, being charming and magnetic while also being a bag of garbage at the same time, who had such good in him but was also an absolute monster, who I desperately want to be happy, but I also struggle to forgive him sometimes and that’s saying a lot for a fictional character, he’s brilliant enough to truly carry an entire Saga about him. And Obi-Wan is the bedrock of all goodness in that galaxy, he could be obnoxious at times and he didn’t always see Anakin clearly, but he always cared and he remained good and hopeful, he continued to serve the galaxy, no matter what it threw at him, and even forgave Anakin in the end, because he always rose above. That’s it, that’s my shit right there.
5. Inoue Orihime from Bleach - ORIHIME WAS MY GIRL FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, her unwavering kindness and care, her desire to be soft in a world (and, frankly, fandom) that wanted her to be hard and to fight everything, when she didn’t want to fight, she wanted to heal, she wanted to have fun and be weird, she wanted everyone to be happy, all of that made me love her. Her loopiness is an absolute delight, but what I loved so much about her is that Orihime had the powers/abilities to be quite possibly the most OG of the entire cast, she could reject reality itself, and she never once wanted to use it to beat anyone up or to destroy anything, she wanted to make friends with her fairies and she wanted to help people. That girl refused to let the world make her anything less than kind and caring and sweet. She was THE BEST.
6. Hara Akiha and Umeda Hokuto from Hanazakari no Kimitachi e/Hana-Kimi - Sometimes we all fall in love with those minor characters and they just fucking consume us. A lot of it came from that they were both hot, they were both hilarious, and so they were just really fun, but what really got me was that I genuinely loved everything Nakajo did with Umeda’s character. There weren’t a lot of gay characters in shoujo manga that weren’t complete comedic relief, where their sexuality was the joke. Yes, Umeda was often a humorous character (all of the cast was) but he firmly was completely uninterested in high school kids, he liked adult men, and his advice to Mizuki may have been crabby as hell, but it was genuine and good. His sexuality wasn’t the punchline of his character. Then there was Akiha, who was also comedic, but his bisexuality (another rare thing to find in manga!) had nothing to do with the humor of his character, all of it was in the way he chased after Umeda. He was a genuine suitor (and, reading the post-manga character interviews, apparently they got together, OMG MY HEART) and the kiss they shared was treated just as seriously as any straight kiss would have been. That meant a lot to me, even though I’d have loved the characters just because they were so interesting and Umeda’s struggle to get over the guy who never cared for him and to let himself be vulnerable with someone that he could actually care about, was so great.
7. Yuki Eiri from Gravitation - I can’t begrudge anyone for giving this show a lot of shit (and I definitely am going with anime!Yuki here, rather than manga!Yuki) or dismissing it as being god-awful, because it probably was pretty cringeworthy. But Yuki got under my skin because he was one of the first characters I resonated with where his depression was real and it was ugly. He could be cruel to people around him, he pushed them away, not just half-heartedly, but genuinely, and he couldn’t stand being vulnerable, because it touched on all the terrible places that had been damaged by what Kitazawa had done to him. And he couldn’t just be magically fixed by Tohma’s devotion or Shuuichi’s unwavering amounts of love poured into him. He couldn’t just be fixed with a hug or one good crying session. He was damaged and it was going to be a hell of a long hike back up to anything even a little bit normal. Especially back at that time, I felt like depression and trauma were never given any real weight, then along comes this ridiculous BL series that just refused to make Yuki anything less that genuinely damaged and it hit all these places in wee me that was struggling through my own depression that couldn’t just be cured with some hugs and people telling me they loved me.
8. Hashiba Touma from Yoroiden Samurai Troopers - I’m not sure I could even say why this character got under my skin the way he did, other than that there was definitely a group of us who were SUPER into the show and it was fun to make a playground for ourselves, and Touma just really got to me. The brilliant character who didn’t always know how to relate to others, but who cared very deeply about them, who gravitated to those who were better at social interaction than he was, who were better able to connect to people than he was, that he found this group where he really belonged, that just really touched wee me’s heart.
9. Tendou Souji from Kamen Rider Kabuto - THIS OBNOXIOUS HOT MESS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. It was hard not to put Kagami on the list as well, because so much of what I love about Tendou is illustrated through his relationship with Kagami (whom I also love on his own), but I think I keep coming back to that I love his issues the most. He’s the best at everything and so it puts distance between him and everyone else, all the more so because he’s so obnoxious about it and doesn’t slow down for anyone else to catch up, but the thing is that there’s a very caring heart underneath all that. He loves his sisters, he loves Kagami, he even kind of tolerates the rest of their weird gang, and trying to find that difficult line of his superiority over the others versus that he wants them to catch up to him in his own way, all while being the most condescending dick ever, is absolute joy.
10. Relena Darlian from Gundam Wing - I had a difficult path to liking Relena, because so much of fandom boiled her down to either being a creepy stalker who got in the way of Heero/Duo or they only ever wrote her in romantic pairing stuff with Heero, neither of which really encouraged me to like her. But, as time went on and I rewatched the series a couple of times, I realized there’s so much more to her. She’s a character who has to walk an impossible line between both of the legacies that weigh on her, the birth family that she never knew but maybe she could help bring peace to the world by taking up that name, by trying to bring back the Sanq Kingdom that promoted absolute pacifism and peace. Yet, ultimately, for all that her relationship with Zechs is really important and she was the heir to that kingdom, she chose to be Relena Darlian. She choose to try to bring peace to the world by standing up on her own as a politician, not a figurehead queen of the world. The struggle to figure that out, who she wants to be and how she wants to achieve it, to go from a sheltered young girl at the start of the series to someone who has seen how terrible war is, is far more interesting than either of those first options for me!
And I’ll tag @forcearama (and if I couldn’t put Obi-Wan as all ten entries, neither can you!) @belldreams @subskywalker @cacchieressa @bpdanakins @glompcat @writegowrite @fireflyfish @evaceratops @amarielah and anyone else who wants to do it that I’m not sure I feel quite like I’m able to try peer pressuring you into it. ♥ I love seeing these from anyone who wants to do them, I’m just never sure if I’m allowed to go HEY YOU DO THIS THING. orz
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Okay it's a lot but: 1, 2, 11, 12, 13, and 19 for Lethaa and Naras? (Feel free to substitute/add any questions you'd like to answer!) 🌺💕
Yesssssss I was so excited to get this! Thanks, Mercedes! 💛
So, this got reeaaaally long and rambly. My bad. I just have a lot of thoughts about these two, and I’m excited to share. Click “keep reading” to see my response!
(also, sorry if it formats weirdly - I copy-pasted from a word doc, and tumblr mobile doesn’t like that for some reason)
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Ask me questions about creating my OCs!
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1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?
For Lethaa, it was her name and position. For Naras, it was the descriptor “the Togruta senator’s wife”
They popped into my head at about the same time. I created them to be throwaway characters in a short story I wrote called “Shall We Dance” (I may someday go back to it and add a few chapters. No promises). There was some dialogue between Anakin and Obi-Wan about different controversial viewpoints in the Senate, and I just needed a senator or two to mention in passing. –
“But these are some of the most outspoken public figures in the Republic. Take Senator Lethaa Daal.” [Obi-Wan] flashed a smile in the direction of the Togruta senator and her wife as they passed. The women returned the smile and made their way arm-in-arm into the grand hall. “She has been very scornful regarding the Senate’s tendency to dedicate resources to systems that are strategic to military movements, as opposed to who needs it most.”
It might have ended there, but I received feedback from a few different readers saying how they appreciated the mention of Senator Daal’s wife. There seemed to be an interest, so I sat on the idea of them for a while.
2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?
Since Lethaa was fully fleshed out first, I made Naras with Lethaa in mind. I knew I wanted her to have her own objectives and life – she couldn’t continue to just be “Lethaa’s wife”. So I tried to give her a profession that was critical in its own way, which is why I went with healing, so that their “importance” (for lack of a better word) was equal to each other.
I guess Lethaa was partially created in response the frustrating politics of the galactic senators. They all make their alliances, play the game to get the upper hand, all while gaining very little ground. I wanted to make a character that found the subtly of politics maddening, and wasn’t afraid to get in someone’s face and tell them exactly why their policies or views were dumb or harmful. I wanted to make someone who could be aggressive without calling into question their moral alignment.
And while it’s not a character, I really really wanted to design or add to a culture that doesn’t get explored much in the Star Wars universe. I took what elements I could find about Togruta culture from Wookipedia, but it was rather lacking, so I made up the rest. I already loved Togruta designs, and wanted characters that could interact within their own culture.
3. How did you choose their name? (Added this because it was Relevant)
If my memory is right, Lethaa Daal’s name came from combining a few names I found on the Togruta name generator (which I HIGHLY recommend btw). I decided to keep it after I finished her design because the first name reminded me of “lethal”, and by that point I knew that was a good descriptor of her. ‘Daal’ came about because I tend to put way too many A’s in my togruta names, and I was for some reason thinking about Roald Dahl at that time, but I also found that I liked how it could be mispronounced as “doll”. I was highly amused by the idea of a “lethal doll” – woe unto anyone who looked at Lethaa and only acknowledged her for her beauty.
Naras Tyn came about because lots of my female ocs tend to have names that end in A or E (IE/I/Y, etc), and I didn’t want to do it again. I wanted a short last name, and I just liked how “Tyn” sounded – it was concise and melodic. ‘Naras’ I think also came from the name generator. I remember being bummed when I realized it sounded so similar to Barriss and Maris (already existing characters), but by that time I was attached. Her first name just sounds calming, and it just sounded right imagining Lethaa calling for her.
11. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?
Heck yes I did. There really wasn’t any hesitation. The thought process went: Senator –> Togruta Senator –> female Togruta Senator –> has a spouse –> a wife, cuz why not. And that was that.
12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?
Everything.
Lol, jk. I mean, as much fun as I have with all the colors and markings of the two, my own drawing ability is kinda limited in terms of body positions. So some things I’d love to draw (Lethaa vs. the rancor, Naras on a medical mercy mission during the Clone Wars, etc.) are taking a long time for me to sketch out. It can be frustrating, but it’s a work in progress.
And writing is hard too. The story ideas in my head play out as nice little movies. Getting it all down on paper while conveying emotion without overloading, describing setting, and making it engaging – that’s all trickier.
But overall, the most difficult thing is trying to figure out what exactly I’m going to do! I have other OCs I want content for, and canon characters I want to explore – and then I have to decide between drawing and writing. There’s not enough hours in the day for me to draw and write everything I want, so I have to pick and choose.
13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?
Still a work in progress. I jump from one event to the next without writing it in chronological order. I’ve started their story before the start of the Clone Wars, sometime between episodes I and II. Might write some earlier snippets about their childhoods (though they didn’t meet until they were adults).
I’ve got some ideas for what they do during the Empire era (some of which was influenced by one of the Star Wars D&D games I play), but I haven’t written any of that out yet. I do know they live to see the fall of the Empire, and the emergence of the New Republic. They pass away peacefully of old age on Shili.
19. What is your favorite fact a fun fact about your OC?
I had to change this from “favorite” to “fun” because I like everything about them and I’m still developing them. So I thought I might drop a little trivia that I haven’t managed to work into any stories or art yet.
Lethaa was on a hunting trip with her father – Barin – and a few others in her twenties. After her cousin killed their prey, Barin asked her to prepare the meat for dinner. She did her best with it but waaaaaaay overcooked it, and when Barin asked about it, she said, “I… never actually learned how to cook meat.”
Bewildered, Barin said, “But we’ve been on dozens of hunting trips! How could I have never taught you??”
And Lethaa’s just like, “I was the one to kill the prey on most of those trips.”
And Barin and the others can’t help but laugh, because according to tradition, the one who kills the prey while hunting in a group is served the first piece, but never is the one to prepare it. So it makes complete sense that she never had to cook it, because she was always served the first dish. Her cousin actually liked his meat overdone, though, so he was perfectly fine with his meal.
Also, I just came up with this so I have no idea of the context, but there is a 100% chance that there was an instance or two where Lethaa – tall Amazonian though she is – couldn’t reach something. Unable to climb to retrieve it and without a stepstool, muttering darkly, she would disconnected her prosthetic arm and used it as an extender to pull it towards her.
*
Naras can fall asleep anywhere. Even before she became a physician/healer, she had the uncanny ability to close her eyes and be asleep within minutes. Lying down, standing while braced against something, sitting, lounging between skyfaring silks (she’d gotten bored waiting for her Gatalentian friend to come back from the holocall he’d had to take). No nap is too short – she wakes feeling rested even if it’s only been five minutes. She wakes easily, fully alert.
Naras sings and hums to her plants and patients. It’s not uncommon to walk into her clinic and hear her singing a folk song or a current hit. She definitely encourages sing-alongs anytime nervous children are brought in, and at night broadcasts spiritual songs important to Togruta culture over the PA system – at a very quiet volume, of course. Naras has a garden at home – a singfruit tree surrounded by flowers and bushes, some of which are not native to Shili – and the plants routinely get hummed and sung at as she tends to them. Lethaa loves waking up in the morning to hear her wife’s singing voice drifting in from an open window.
*
Thank you again so much for the ask!! This was a lot of fun!Also, I really do appreciate your interest in my OCs (especially these two). It means a lot to me 🌺🌷
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Clone Wars Episode 2
Rising Malevolence
Starting off I really like the title which implies things are going to get a little heated
Title scene sequence still the same
Nice
Ok this time’s quote is a little bullshit
Belief is not the matter of choice
But conviction
Conviction is literally how much energy
you put into a choice
Little worried considering last episode’s good quote
left with an okay episode
Okay, whoa, whoa, got a lot of things, at once
Firstly, Ahsoka
Her face looks lumpy?
The narrator...sounds kinda - bored
Lot of things happening at once
Not really tied together
It’s-
Someone’s really
abusing
the jump cut
It literally gave me nausea looking at it
Not cool
dude
Then again
I guess they’re going for
Fast thrown together war footage
But seriously
chill dude
On the jump
cuts
And
nothing
seems
to
match
up
If
I
can
actually
remember
what
happened
from
this
jump
cutted
mess
I
would
make
a
joke
about
the
off
piece
/
paced
sync
Up
But
for
the
sake
of
me
I
can’t
(And
I’m
Not
Back
rewatching)
(I
Tried...)
Oh
here’s
one;
Growing
Fear
The
enablers
Just
Standing
around
Mate,
I
don’t
give
a
shit
about
them
(And
those
words
don’t
match)
The
Pictures
Still
recovering...
from
seasickness
So
excuse
my
scrawl
not
being
on
point
I’m sorry, I was sea sick
Something about menace
Not happening again
Fear
Of the thing they enabled
I have, no idea, what is going on.
And I’m too afraid, of the editors, to go back
Whatever, things are - moving -forward
‘parently
Red sun like planet
Ships heading towards it
Little stabilized
Person
Plo Koon
Standing
In Front
Oh good
We get to
see what the other enablers are up to
That’s nice
Would be thrilled
If the jump cut abuse
Hadn’t left me
In a state of not being willing
to handle the enablers-
We’re not jumping straight into that
Right?
Like,
this
is
a
quick
photo
shot?
Okay never mind we are
Fuck me up episode
Someone-
Realizes-
Tracking-
That’s not so bad
Hahaha
Okay, giant ship in front of the Sun, Why!!?
I am no longer hung over
I’m good
What the frick?
It looks like a shark
It looks deadly
what the heck
is going on?
Why is the boss music playing?
I mean it’s thematically appropriate and more than we got in the last episode
Just wasn’t expecting music
Or Obvious Villain
Before I think about it too much
Detail
“Oh my Red!”
That is a lotta Red.
I don’t think you could get much Red
“We are tracking republic cruisers”
Okay wait, We were on Plo’s
ship
Now we’re on Dooku’s
“Ships in the area...
I’m assuming they’re going to
intersect
And is Dooku -
Is Grievous Dooku’s apprentice?
I guess that would make sense
Given
That last episode
We learned
Of Yoda’s and Dooku’s
Connection
Learning
more about the villain isn’t such a
bad idea
No more jump cuts please though
“-Do”
“Jam their transmissions,”
Alright, straight to the evil
no hesitation
Possibly ending in murder?
What? It says ‘Rising Malevolence’!?
Murder would do that!
The Fleet is holding it’s position sir
Why?
“I think it’s wise to report our position before we attack,”
Good plan
‘Skywalker’s fleet is nearby’
A teenager, you’re trusting this to a teenager?
I mean they have to obey orders
You’re trusting a teenager that Obi-Wan order programmed?
A less developed version of Obi wan?
I know Yoda has a seat at the head of the garbage fire council
But Obi-Wan has a seat there for a reason
- note I’m pretty sure this is true for all continuities
so I’m not calling out movie Obi-Wan specifically
All of his continuities
Garbage fire
Which doesn’t have to be a bad thing...
Logic sin
“Perhaps he can reinforce us,”
Teenagers can’t reinforce shit
But they can pick you up
Like a taxi service
“ From what I hear Skywalker’s always looking for a fight,”
Great, Obi wan ordered him to give only aggressive answers and self destructive orders
/answers
Kid’s going to get killed
If any adult sets their mind to it
* Which seeing as you set him to ‘attack attack attack’
Well, someone to be preparing his gravestone
Good job, Obi wan
Dumpster fire
I do not regret it
“So I’ve heard,”
And enabled!
Trash Fire Council, everyone
“~~~~, Master Ploon,”
“~~~~, Ahsoka,”
Oh they share a language
Interesting
“how’s the hunt for the mystery weapon going?”
They actually tell him things?
Instead of just yelling orders at him?
Also, so that’s what they were doing
I
was
spinning
“We’ve tracked it to the outer Greknow (excuse spelling) system,”
“I need reinforcements”
Wait, need?
Earlier, it was a “ it would be nice,”
Now you need the teenager to hold your hand while you confront the other adult in your stupid war?
“ I have to ask the council Mr. plo I was given strict orders,”
Translation; I need to ask Obi-Wan
Also; this, this is how you write teenagers
A little bit too much energy
But this is how one would react
If confronted with an order and ordered to give that response
Good job, writers, you used your experience ( and knowledge) as a human being, to create a realistic human being
Get a cookie for that
Carry on
Breaking up
Signal jammed
Oh yeah clearly shows that Ahsoka is asking “what’s wrong?”
Immediately move out the general area
also is someone not monitoring interference?
Shouldn’t alarms be going off?
“ what’s wrong with the transmission,”
A) you’re the leader you should figure that out
B) asking a in superior isn’t going to help
- if it’s their chosen thing then just let them do it without
leaning on them
Nothing ever got better from micromanage
“There’s too much interference, sir”
Run
We’ve lost them
“You heard Master Ploon, he needs her support, we need to go help him,”
Good job writers, that is how a teenager would react, you even got the stunted - robotlike speech down - and energy level
Another cookie for you
“We’ve got to go help him,”
A bit of energy there but still good
“We have to see what the Council says first,”
Anakin, Perfect, 10/10, you know how to write children,
Perfect monotone
Fantastic
Job
writers
*And
Actors
The logic was pretty sound to
“This is an important meeting, Ahsoka”
Perfect
I’ll
stop
gushing
about
that
“Speak only when spoken to,”
Perfect
“Don’t I always”
Okay,
little noticeable breach
there
Little
too
much
energy
Children
Don’t
Have
Person
alities-
Still
Developing-
Nor
Attitude
This
mystery
weapon
has
Strucken
a
dozen
systems
And
disappeared
without
a
trace,”
That
Sounds
Really
Severe
Only
Wish
I’d
Know
What
It
Does
We
cannot
afford
to
lose
any
more
ships
my
phone
“Oh,”
How -
One
Of
you
had
to
order
him
The
Chancellor
must
not
of
been
there
“The
Enemy
ship
is
closing”
Well
it
makes
sense
that
they
aren’t
running
As
contacting
others
with
their
location
and
getting
reinforcements
was
something
that
they
were
supposed
to
do
and
‘would
be
nice’
respectively
And
they
did
both
* Technically
“General Greivous,”
Oh so now we get to learn of the relationship
Or what Dooku claims it to be
“This will be
a suitable test
for
our new weapon,”
Oh, or that
They
have
the
weapon
Interesting
Also
a
great
excuse
to
show
Plo
Koon
suddenly
getting
his
shit
recked
“Yes
My
lord,”
[Oh
wait
now
I
remember
he’s
Ventress’s
master
General
Term
Is
Lord]
Does
he
have
a
button?
“A
large
energy
reading
from
the
target,
sir,”
Run!
“Open
Fire,”
Then
Get
Out
Of
Range
“Fire!”
“Brace
For
Impact!”
Wait
You had Three whole ships
and you decide to clump them all together
Approaching from the same direction
Towards a giant space hole?
You...
You got what you deserved
“We’re losing all our power,”
No duh
Space wave
* Shock wave
Energy field , defenseless
No duh
“ Their shields are down
Full cannons,”
“they’re tearing us apart, one by one”
Uh, Space
pods?
“[Ship explodes]
Well I hope they got to the escape pod
Quickly, into the pods!
[ Plo being Captain Obvious]
Well one fricker hit debris and exploded
Really stable pods
Well shit
It was just a ship
At least everyone
who wasn’t an idiot
is alive
“ that was a successful test wouldn’t you say, Count?,”
That’s
surprisingly normal given the side is supposed to be the overinvolved
negative
I’m surprise he isn’t abusing his in superiors by now
Then again his ‘abuse’ style, based on name, is tech
Which isn’t an abuse style
Or negative thing
“Maul”
Is either a weapon or to chew something
savagely
Sidious
Is
just
this
version’s
Absolute
evil
(Human,
Sentient
version)
Dooku
.....
I
have
no
idea
He’s
clearly
meant
to
be
conflict
in
general
But
The
Name
....
I
have
no
idea
Sorry
went
on
a
name
rant
“ I
want
all
of
those
life
pods
destroyed,”
Brutal
What
was
the
deal
with
the
sound
Greivous
was
making?
And
why
is
that
droid
laughing?
We’ve
had
no
further
contact
with
General
Plo
Koon
And
nobody
is
panicking
Then
everyone
else
is
enablers
so
I’m
not
surprised
They
knew
what
they
were
getting
into
with
this
stupid
war
“The
absence
of
distress
beacons
indicates
that
his
fleet
was,”
Destroyed
killed
Also
there’s
no
beacon
or
way
to
signal
for
help
in
those
light
pods
The
Galaxy’s
huge
“-was”
A
bit
too
much
hesitation
there
I’ll
accept
a
slight
bit
that
Anakin
was
ordered
not
to
talk
about
death
in
front
of
Ahsoka
But
a
bit
too
much
emotion
& personality
And it isn’t overrided by one of his elders,
Obi wan specifically
Or Understood by
the others
We’re about to
launch a
rescue
mission
Hasn’t clone intelligence reported this weapon
never leaves any survivors?
But not that they had a giant stab wound through the
chest?
Enablers, man
Again, children don’t care about them
They haven’t even developed a personality
Nevermind the ability to form and remember
healthy preferred relationships
With individuals
Of their own age group
When they’re Adults
This ‘everyone’s afraid to say ‘die’ in front of Ahsoka Is bullshit
Even
the
expression
doesn’t
feel
natural
They are tidy they don’t want any witnesses
See, that’s even acknowledging that they know some foul play is about
‘They’ is not the weapon
It’s a person
“ these losses are tragic,”
Not enough to stop the stupid war and
stop enabling
What great friends
Plo Koon has
“ prevent more, we must,”
You aren’t doing
shit
Capsule
The Music
just
give
me
the
feeling
that
they’re
sitting
around
playing
cards
“The power grid is burned out”
Okay and that took out this whole life pod
functionality?
Like are these not for emergencies?
Shouldn’t have multiple backup power sources?
Or some rudimentary fuel
Also, the force,
Like with it you can exactly
have any moments of tension
Like
normal humans
Like
if you want to get out of the situation
there’s like 10 options
Humans are space orcs
Like just use the force to
paddle to safety
Or power the
ships
This is
definitely
not as bad as a situation
as they’re going to make it out to be
“Life support recharge.”
Well good thing none of you is dying
Oh did they mean
oxygen recycling?
My bad
So we’ll just sit here
And hold our breath
Snarking doesn’t really help it
“someone will come looking for us, right?”
Generally speaking, yes
You clearly sent out
communications
And abided by all the
rules
But you signed up with the enabler’s United Toxic Foundation, while everyone did sign up for a basic war - Palpatine’s things that one kid in the E for for everyone Minecraft let’s play role-play that insists everyone be allowed to swear
Like yeah everyone agreed not to do that
But you still don’t kick him
And the second you avoid accountability
things were on rocky basis
You can kick him to a higher level of accountability
(Or lower)
But not accountability
I don’t think that’s coming back from levels this
tox
And
Everyone knew
it
Including
this
guy
“ let’s get the power restored
, so we’re here to be found”
REASSURING
Also if you could do them
why were you wasting time?
I know the address they’re assholes who don’t care about their own
life
But still dude
Logic sin
[not storytelling]
Holding a bit too long on his face
for a jump cut
Ships
“ All our battle convoys will be sent to guard our
supply lines,”
Meanwhile them selling them out
Including yours
Skywalker
Nice friends
you have there,
Plo Koon
“i’m sorry we can’t risk any more ships with the rescue mission”
Any more
Meaning you sent some
“wait just because there hasn’t been any survivors...”
Dude
Bit too animated
Like holding on the thin string of
orders
And
still it should be
stunted
Even
under the order of
‘feel sad’
their eyes would still be moving around like
they don’t know what
they’re doing
“ doesn’t mean they won’t be any this time,”
Animation...a little choppy
Like beforehand the stiff moment really worked with the fact that they were children
That I thought it was
intentional
This little awkward bit of moment
doesn’t
Maybe it’s the
overall movement of an of Ashoka as a
character
It doesn’t work
“ boldly spoken for one so young,”
And almost unrealistically
so
If not for the string of
orders
I could possibly be reasoned by
Plo
issuing an overriding effect
Assuming he was her first
and longest caretaker
His order
if I’m in danger do this
Might still be
in system
But
it
wouldn’t
cause
an
outburst
like
that
Not
that
loud
Or
emotional
at
least
Just
monotonously
Repeat
ing
the
line
Which
would
still
get
the
same
reaction
Working
better
with
the
military
child
soldier
theme
“ Yes she is learning from Anakin,”
They’re child soldiers
They’re both still operating under your
orders
Anakin likely taking her up under
your orders
[If Common sense is
to be
believed]
If anything ‘she sounds like
Plo Koon,’ would be a better
option and highlight the
his-tory, they have
together as well as makes sense why
she would be
sent
“ Excuse my Padawan,”
Excuse that
bullshit
[I have a thing against
un child like
behavior]
“ I will deploy as
instructed
master,”
Ahsoka
[turns her back and
leaves]
I swear
if this leads
into a fight
And
one
with
them
not
talking
like
robots
Are
emoting
I’m
calling
bullshit
If they’re not just repeating orders at each other
“Ahsoka,”
How long do you think Anakin heard that tone of
voice?
[Because he’s not doing it on his own]
Little more
disappointed computer
needed
Too much
vitriol
But
Still
valid
“if
anyone
could
survive,”
Stunted
tone
good
Few
jumps
in
logic
And
conclusions
that
don’t
think
they
could’ve
ordered
But
overall
serviceable
“I don’t
understand,”
“what you don’t
understand,”
Well there are remarkedly
a few bumps here and
there,
This does play out
The way two
assumed authority
kids
would
play out
Good job writers,
actors
and
animators,
you
did
a
good
job
“....Jedi protocol,”
Know your place
My Padawan
“Know your place,”
Too
much
Energy
“Admiral,”
Anakin
Has too
much energy
And perso
-nality
Never
mind
it’s fine
“ isn’t that
risky?”
No, approaching/confronting an enemy from only one Direction when you know they have an unpredictable weapon, is risky
And stupid
This is a patrol
and as such
it’s a relatively good move
“ The mystery weapon out there,”
No, Plo Koon
wouldn’t have found himself
in that situation
had he done this
Also are you mouthing off
to
a superior
Fair
enough
you’re
older
and
have
nothing
to
fear
from
a
child
But
you
agreed
to
serve
under
said
child
Stop
breaking
immersion
I
like
the
fact
that
they
immediately
show
that
Anakin‘s
superiors
are
abusive
to
him
While
it’s
true
Anakin
broke
code
by
addressing
someone
of
lower
rank
This
dude
is
lower
than
him
(And
older)
And
still
gives
back
toxicity
(No
ne
Reflect
ed)
Too
“It might be,”
“But I know you
won’t argue my orders,”
Wow,
Not a really good picture of
Obi-Wan
we’re painting
He possibly
(very often)
compared
Skywalker
to his
in superiors
Derogatorily
Or
at least gave him
an order
to do
so
Yikes!
Come
on
Snips
Come on
[Pet name]
Bit
too
much
personality
But
Still
managed
a
lot
“The
air
in
here
is
getting
a
bit
stale,”
Then
stop
using
it
up
And
focus
on
fixing
“Don’t
look
at
me
it’s
Boost
sir,”
Tox
*also
no one keeps a plant
on them?
“He only takes a bath when
he’s
on
leave,”
Dude seriously not cool
throwing someone under the bus
like that
“ save it work on fixing the
pod,”
Yeah you’re running out of air
and this seems to be the only dude that doesn’t wanna die
“ Not your jokes,”
They’re toxic anyway
So the air quality isn’t getting much
better
“ Do you think we’ve got a chance,
General?”
You have several
chances
You have a
Jedi
on board
You could
doggy
paddle
to
the
nearest
station
“I know if we walk together we will stay alive,”
No, you’ll run out oyour oxygen, and die
Also the rest of you are doing
nothing
Lay down
And save some oxygen
If you’re not going to be
helpful
Someone will find us
Yeah, God
Or, in this case, hell
If you believe in
that sort of thing
And
Not
secure
nothingness
“ With
all
due
respect,”
Strategically
it
doesn’t
make
sense
for
someone
to
come
look
for
us
Yeah
you’re
all
enablers
no
one
has
more
inherent
worth
than
the
other
If I was in command I’d be hunting that weapon down
Humans are more important than weapons
Our decisions decide
whether our time together
Will be pleasant
Or
non-
pleasant
I value your life
Involved in this war that will likely take it
“-more than finding that weapon”
As
noted
that’s
a
valid
thing
But
doesn’t
have
much
value
in
an
enabling
war
and
a
poisoned
generation
“Sir,
there’s
another
pod
out
there,”
No
duh
You
launched
from
the
same
place
The
only
people
dead
are
the
ones
that
ran
into
that
debris
And
exploded
On
contact
There
was
a
gulf
of
flame
Likely
from
the
impact
of
the
ship
But
no
indication
that
anyone
else
died
(Not
like
he
could’ve
just
willed
them
out
of
the
way
with
the
force
Or
not
splurged
on
the
exploding
escape
pods)
“If only if we had power we could contact them,”
Again you should be working on that
Also what would that do?
You’re both
‘helpless’
In the
pods
how
about
we just wave
Hello
when the viewfinder
comes back around?
Because that implies it will
rotate
*Waves hand*
See?
Completely
preventable
Can
get out of this situation
at any time
How?
Like that glass is supposed to be
surprisingly strong
Like plastic
I’m calling
bullshit
“They’re dead,”
One-hand
that extremely sucks
(The loss of life is a
terrible
thing)
Then again
completely
preventable
“ Someone
busted their pod
wide open,”
Oh,
that’s clever
writers
But
that looks shattered
from the impact
That glass
is some
weird
stuff
Really
I’m
just
sinning
the
fact
that
they
would
have
glass
anywhere
on
this
supposed
to
be
very
durable
space
pod
Like
that
shit’s
a
safety
risk
regardless
of
where
it
is
Time
to ravage their ship for any supplies
What, they’re dead?
They
won’t
be
using
it
And
this
is
supposed
to
be
a
‘life
or
death
simulation,’!
“ We’re
not
alone
out
here!”
Really?!
Also
this
is
why
it’s
a
good
idea
to
get
down,
fix
the
ship
And
Get
Out
(Why
you
even
have
a
window
when
cameras
would
suffice
...)
“ Set those coordinates,
R2,”
Cool
“ I should tell you why
I spoke up
before,”
That
would
be
nice
But
if it’s Overinvolvement of Plo Koon
in your
upbringing
A few things should be
more obvious
“You don’t have to explain,”
Anakin
was taught not to question
things
Including dedication to
previous scouts
Oh, the deadpan
Ahsoka
is having a bit too much
reaction
But ot’s justified
in
confusing
orders
Good start
Oooh
That’s
a lot of Ships
Nice music
Very uppity
With a sense of
authority
Our ships
are in defensive formation
sir
“Oh Obi-wan,”
“Alright commander
I’ll check on Anakin’s progress,”
ASSUMED A U T
HORITY!
“Admiral,”
You’re not
supposed to be here
“How
goes
escort,”
He looks
terrified
of him
Convoys
Are
preceding on schedule general
The
fact
he’s
used
to
answering
to
him
says
something
“No
sign of enemy
activity,”
Liar
“and
where’s
Skywalker,”
Susp.ic
“The
general felt the redeployment of this fleet would increase our defensive perimeter,”
Dude’s
really on his case on respecting the
Council’s orders
“I see
thank you
Admiral
that will be all,”
Nice
chat
Problem
Sir
“Anakin
has
just
redeployed
himself,”
How
is
that
sus?
Didn’t
You
Give
Him
Orders?
Someone had to have given him some orders
that got missconstrued
Again
Then
someone
else
gave
him
orders?!
Weird
Rt,
set up the
scanner
Mystery
Weapons
No Rt,
tune the scanner
for life forms
Highest sensitivity
Interesting
Anakin was given more
orders
To value human
life
over
objects/
The
Mission
Interesting enough
this could’ve been
what they referred to
as any more ships
As an
Anakin
and
Ahsoka
had
already
been
assigned
And
given
specific
orders
by someone
who spends more time with Anakin
therefore has more authority
to ignore the other orders
My
moneys
on
the
chancellor
He’s
supposed
to be
grooming
Anakin
And
it makes sense
he could get away
with
a
“no other Jedi” order
without including
himself
Not to mention
get more time
with Anakin
to justify
the authority
override
I would
also
make
sense
Given
Obi-Wan’s
-bluff-?
(Whether
you
believe
he
did
or
did
not
know
about
the
order)
That
he
was
surprised
that
Anakin
wasn’t
responding
to
his
seniority*
*Face
Value
“ Why
would
we
Scan
for
lifeforms
to
find
an
enemy
weapon?”
Too
much
energy
Droids
“The Abogado system”
Too
much
amazement
More
‘statement’
needed
Smirk
Do you know normally I would
criticize this
but it has the perfect
half
assed
energy
So
good job everyone involved
that took skill
“ so it’s fine when you don’t follow what the council
says,”
Ooh
that’s a
miss
Doing
what
the
Jedi
Council
says
that’s
one
thing
How
we
go
about
it,
that’s
another
thing
That could possibly count for double
answers
And does count for
misconstrued orders
Considering a lot of orders can be fit into a
lifetime
Some do contradict and mix
to form up
interesting
combinations
And results
“that’s what I’m trying to teach you
my young Padawan,”
Good
answer
“So
you
always
meant
to
come
out
here
for
survivors,”
Better
Read
“Live are in danger of
Ahsoka,”
“We just
can’t turn
our backs
on them,”
“That’s
what
I,”
No
good
try
that’s
too
much
emotion
Tip
toeing
into
emotion
adult
Watch it
“ I know
But
the
way
you
said
it
was
wrong,”
Now Anakin’s following
Got to watch that
realistic tone
It’s hard
not to write
emotional characters
But it makes
the moments when they are
all the more sweeter
I’m really looking for that
‘I realized my life was a lie’ moment
“We haven’t got much
time-”
How?
“No
that’s not it-”
Time for the
idiots!
Well honestly the time with our Villains - enablers
- are just as
entertaining
it’s slow burn
But decently so
“We
don’t
want
to
make
things
worse,”
“How
can
we
make
things
worse?”
Death isn’t fun
“ When
you
ask
for
trouble,
you
should
not
be
surprised
when
it
finds
you,”
OK
Boomer
Who
has
never
helped
at
any
point
in
this
procedure
(And
is
the
big
g
est
enabler
of
anyone
here)
*Tox
“ I think trouble already found us, sir”
Good job!
What if we connect these two
wires right here
It’s an
electrical
puzzle game
I thought
something
was
actually
broken
“ I’m
getting
something,”
Great
There are 14 minutes left
What goes wrong?
Despite
maybe a
fight
Oof
They managed to figure
it
out
quicker
Now we get to listen to someone dying
In
extreme
detail
“That signal is weak, it must be close by,”
Uh, what?
I think
he might’ve
misspoke
What?!
That’s
a
giant
Crane!
I
don’t
know
what
to
expect
But
that
was
not
it!
Go
Get
‘Um
Boys
They’re
Normal
Droids
“Pod—”
“The
Droids
Are
Cutting
Behind
Us,”
Cutting.
through
They
just
sat
by and watched as their friends die
And we know
Plo Koon can move
the
ship
Brutal
“ Things got a lot worse,”
And you watched
it happen
Soco
-paths
“The Scanners are practically useless “
How?!
The Ship left
Shouldn’t the jamming signal
be gone too?
“ Got anything
on the emergency channel
R2?”
How
do you not?
Also
please save those guys
Like they’re enablers
But I’m a fan of
accountability
Not
death
You
can’t
hold
dead
people
accountable
“ We
might
find
something
you
don’t
want
to
find,”
“ he’s
one
of
my
oldest
friends,”
That
is
the
perfect
tone
good
job
-everyone
“It was Master Plo
Koon Who found me
and brought me to the temple
where I belonged,”
Oh yeah
that doesn’t
smell of indoctrination!
HaHaHa
(help!)
“ I think someone noticed
We’re gone,”
Too much Emotion!
“Anakin,
where
are
you,”
Conflicting
orders
“ we are making a quick stop
in the Avogadro system,”
On point
“A rescue mission I suppose,”
“You had other
orders, you know,”
I don’t like that someone else is
ordering you around
And has
higher
authority
Then
Me
“ it
was
my
idea
Master
Obi-Wan,”
Too
Much
Argh-
“ oh I’m sure,”
You’re both child soldiers
but I’m going to blame the
oldest
Despite
all orders
“ Well, have you found any survivors?”
“No,”
That is an “order to be sad’
Eye flicker
Good job
“ all the more reason for you to join the defensive
escorts,”
Adding
pressure to break
authority
“You’re
Going
to
Miss
the
rendezvous
With
The
Fleet
If
You
Don’t
Hurry,”
I
want
you
to
be
my
back
up
escape
not
Plo’s
“We’re
on
our
way,”
So
whoever
gave
him
this
order
didn’t
give
him
an
order
that
would
contradict
joining
the
fleet
afterwards?
“ i’m sorry
Ahsoka,”
Wait,
what?
He’s
getting
over
written?
By
that?
*Squeaking*
“R2-ooie
Thinks
He’s
Got
Something
On
The
Emer
gency,”
Please-
Stop
calling
him
R2-ooie
“Can he trace it?”
Hopefully
“Let’s get going,”
Too-
“ I think they see us,”
Wait,
what
“Uh
-oh,”
There’s
another
pod
over
there
The
droids
got
a
lot
less
cute
“Dadada,”
Ominous
Also
the
droids
are
so
cute
for
Genocidal
Manics
“It
is
time
to
go,”
“Go?”
Yeah your boss has essentially been letting you die this entire time
“Outside, to destroy the enemy,”
Again, could’ve done that anytime
“ I can withstand the pressure for a
brief time,”
Oh, that’s the
excuse
To be fair I don’t think humans can be
either
Not without seriously draining...
I will give him that
notion
Not, however, not moving the
ship
To safety
In fact all of this is just
badassery
Like he could’ve easily rescued those guys and stop the, from the safety of the inside of his pod and without wasting the probably be limited oxygen
By going outside
But
enablers
“ Put
your
helmets
on,”
I’m
about
to suck
all the oxygen
out of this
damn
thing
“If
you
say
so
sir,”
‘I’m
willing
to
die
for
this,”
That
one
sane
guy’s
like
“ This
is
a
difficult
situation,”
Y’all
making
it
“ There remains a possibility we will
survive,”
Great!
That’s good enough for
me
Everyone besides that one dude is
down
for
death
Love
how
that
one
dude’s
just
staring
at
them
“Kick
their
ass,”
Also you waited till they were right on top of you
‘Wolf
keep
the
communication
signal
alive’
I mean is the oxygen on, is the
electricity?
Like you could do more than just
fight?
“It’s
our
only
chance
someone
will
find
us,”
Bull
“ Let’s just hope someone’s looking for us,”
This is enabling
hell
“ Are
we still
picking up
that
signal,”
“ but
why
aren’t
we
finding
anybody,”
Are
you
following
the
signal?
“ I don’t know,”
I don’t know either
“ what’s
a
Jedi
doing
out
here?”
Real question
what’s a random person
doing out here?
Like
are
these
droids
Plo Koon
fanboys?
*Shoves*
Weak
If is anyone out there,
This is Ahsoka Tano,”
Seriously, you weren’t trying the transmissions
before?
Oh so those guys had blasters?
And can stick to the roof
But
those
other
two
just
got
blown
out
Didn’t
want
to
fight
Accepted
Death
“I can’t get a clear shot,”
How?
“ Time to put the squeeze on them,”
What?
“ is there anyone out there?”
Dude not paying attention
You had
One Job
“ It’s Ahsoka,”
Just press buttons
He can’t hear you
he’s outside
in space
“ keep the signal
alive
commander,”
What-
He has
a point
Dude’s
been
slacking
“Boost
the
reception”
“Argh,”
- - -
“We’re
Losing
The
Signal,”
He
just
threw
a
fricker
Seriously
That’s all
it
took?
Death
seekers
“Uh-Oh”
Karma
“ Sir,
we have lost contact with the
Pod hunter,”
Only
one?
Also yeah, after multiple people died
Plo Koon
finally decide to do something
“ Perhaps some survivors are putting up a fight,”
Big leap
More likely your
robots
fell off
something
“ that is something we
cannot
allow,”
Cut
To the
Senate
Okay...
We must find a way to destroy
this mystery weapon
Don’t fly right into it
‘end this war,”
Not gonna
happen
“Dooku
always
seems,”
“Tell
me,!”
Oof
Looks
proper
creepy
“Master Plo
koon
Or
his
fleet,”
“No,
we must fear
the worse,”
After we did nothing to stop it
Go, enablers!
Survivors
On whose
authority?
“His own
I’m afraid”
Bullshit
Someone
gave him an
order
‘His own’
only means you don’t know
Or are lying
But I’m going with
face value
for
Obi-Wan
With
His
flight
out
of
position
You trusted a teenager with a fleet
This is your own fault
Oh never mind
his fleet is fine
So Windu
was complaining out of his ass
And his Padawan
so whoever gave the order is fine with him having his Padawan
Oh yeah that does leave
Yoda sus
Twice the trouble
they have become
You gave them the order!
Abusive
old man
A reckless decision,
skywalker
has
made
Teenagers
can’t
make
decisions
“ Let
us
hope
it
is
not
a
costly
one
“Well general another fine mess we’ve got ourselves into”
The tox level is getting pretty
high
“ your sense
of humor
is improving,”
No his ability to be a dick
is
Well technically it was always there
He’s just really utilizing it
Right now
Toxic bastard
“ I don’t mean to say I told you so,”
Dude even a slight bit of accountability is acceptable
around now
Also wouldn’t the com’s guy be more accurate?
Pretty sure
he was the one
trying to guide everyone
away from death
“ I never believed anyone would come looking for us,”
Enablers
“ Anakin, the council was furious”
I decided we couldn’t just give up on Master Plo Koon
Bullshit
“But
the council
feels,”
Please
listen to me
Anakin
Return
at
once
Okay here I’m a little conflicted
It could be literally anyone
“ Yes, Excellency,”
Nevermind
It is him
Good job
writers
“ we have
to
stay,”
Note I’m assuming the vision is a metaphor an action
order
Because Visions
just no
Too much emotion
“Ahsoka,”
He
allows
her
to
do
this
“ sergeant why are you so certain no one is coming,”
Because they’re enablers
And he’s
particularly
negative
He’s
a
person
that’s
his
choice
(That
you’re
enabling)
He
still
toxic
“ We’re just clones,sir,”
That’s
a
good
excuse
The past trauma doesn’t justify
creating present trauma
You’ll be
held
accountable
the
same
“ we’re meant to be expendable,”
Yeah,
doesn’t justify this bullshit
“ Not to me,”
Bullshit
You
were
instrumental
In what occurred to
them
You enabled them
* This
Situation
This
is
like
a
boomer
comforting
a
millennial
abuse
victim!
You
were
instrumental
in
what
happened
to
them
Point
being;
If
you
actually
cared
what
was
happening
you
would’ve
stopped
it
before
it
began!
Now
everyone’s
an
enabler
‘Light’,
assumed to be heroic
turns
into
actual
light
Okay, good
Was worried there.
for
a second
Ready tow
cable
Why wouldn’t -
Okay,
they’re moving him
towards the
door
Good
They
were
running
out
of
oxygen.
Sometime
There
were
no
real
stakes
“ Come on
hurry!”
What’s the rush?
They’re fine
“ are you ok,
master Plo,”
All this work and build up
and he’s dead
“ there’s
someone
in
the
pod,”
That
poor
guy
Pretty
sure
he
was
the
one
who
least
wanted
to
die
“argh,
argh,”
Oh
now
there’s
health
problems
Now
that
they’ve
been
rescued
Was
talking
fine
just
a
few
minutes
ago
Sudden
medical
droid
When
both
Anakin
and
Ahsoka
should
know
how
to
do
first
aid
Will
they
be
alright?
Not
at
that
pace
they
won’t
And
with
that
acting
“The
pressure
suits
provide
some
protection”
Some?
They
were
completely
fine
up
to
this
point
“ but
they
require
a
medical
frigate,”
Why....
Did they bother...?
Bringing you?
“I
will
stabilize
them
sir,”
How?
Pics
or
it
didn’t
happen
“Your
men
are
safe
now,”
Dude
he’s
sleeping
“were
there
any
survivors,”
IDK, Mister
I′m gonna.
sit-around
while-
people-
Die!
Probably
would’ve
killed
them
himself
This
was
his
favorite
unit
Hahaha
*Fake
Guilt*
After
he
caused
and
let
all
of
it
happen
‘Hunters’
You
let
it
happen
And
them
But
mostly
you
Authority
-claimer
“ I’m
sorry,”
Not
her
fault
That.
This
Dude
Is
An
Asshole
So
Heading
to
the
big
battle
Not.
A
word
*Plo’s
voice
*No
Plo*
Behind both of them??
Telling this story, why??
To a teenager??
Also
see
he’s fine
“ an ion cannon,”
Standing in front of it
surprisingly didn’t help
“An ion canon,”
Some thing neither Plo
nor
the Jedi Academy apparently covered
“ neutralizing all power to our ships”
‘Wow, if you knew all about it then why didn’t you make some.
defenses to prevent from knocking you out’
‘Shh, I’m sacrificing my men!’
“ Defenseless,”
‘ yeah we obviously shouldn’t
alert the council
right now,’
“ massive vessel approaching,”
Run!
“ shut down the power systems,”
Okay,
Boomer
It’s not like we could contact the council
While running!
“The droid”
R2-D2
Nearly
gets
everyone
killed
“Sorry
Little
guy,”
Don’t
get
down
or
anything
“ That’s
one
big
cruiser
crusher,”
Yes
and
this
idiot
went
right
into
it!
*Intense
noises *
Dude, they’re not going to see them
Yeah
it’s
big
“there’s still no signal from the pod- hunter,”
That’s - repetitive
Did you think it
would be
Like it’d
suddenly
come back online??
This stupid quest for
someone else
would end?
“Reactivate your scanners,”
Turn it back off and
on
again
“ We will find who is responsible,”
Who could be no one
Or left the system
“ hey what’s
with the lights,”
“Power’s gone out,”
Five minutes in
and already complaining
Also shouldn’t you guys
be asleep
After the cold vacuum of
space?!
What did the robot
put you on??
“ Maybe the
ship has returned,”
Now He’s
panting??
Like dude,
didn’t even fight!
We didn’t even
hear or see him get hurt
at all
(Only
squeezed!)
What
The-
Faker!
*Getting
Caught*.
“You
are
too
weak,”
Suddenly
and
only
now
Would
make
more
sense
for
one
of
the
soldier-
For
Him-
The
Injur-
Also
doctor,
Maybe
help
him
To
The
Location,
Summon
Some
One
Or
Bring
him
to
Bed
“ Let
me
go
see
what
is
wrong,”
Close
Uncomfortable
close
up
on
face
Two
soldier
guys
Jump
Ing
Up
-
But
Like
-
The...
Roles
should
Be
Reversed
You.
Should
Be
Him
You.
Received
More
Damage...
Anyway!
*Mischief
Music*
Still
Looking
at
the
ship
While
their
Ship
Hurdles
(Dangerously)
Close
To
a
Star
“We’re
Picking
up
a
faint
signal
from
a
droid,”
Seriously,
That
was
Five
minutes
ago
That
Long?
Catches
a
signal?
Also,
yeah,
so
what?
“One
of
ours,
they’re
right
behind
us,”
So?
“Move.
Us
Into
Attack
Position,”
Dude,
1 to 10
Real
Quickly
Like he doesn’t even know
anyone’s on there
The ship he’s about to shoot
resembles
A
Wreck
And
Could
Very
Well
Be
One
With
Only
a
droid
On
It
Like
Dude
is
Just
Down
To
Blow
Stuff
Up !
They’re
Coming
Back
“Are
All
Systems...”
AHHHHH!
I paused
At the
Exactly...
Wrong
Time
Five Nights
at Freddy’s
Bullshit
Anyway,
After
That
Bull-
terror-
Fuel
Yeah
Shit’s
fuck
ed
“Is there
A Pro
Blem -s
-ir?”
“You
for-”
Seriously,
That
Dude
Had
One
Use,
Not
Even
Why?
Power
Back
On
Which
You
should’ve
done
from
the
beginning!
You’re
smaller
And
faster
RUN!
“Can
I
Be
of
Assistance?”
NIGHTMARE
FUEL!
*Who-
ever
Tho
ught
This
Thing
Would
Be
Com
Fort
ing?!
!
That
Is
My
Programming
Sir
Ah!
“General
I
Don’t
Want
Any
Wit
ness
es,”
How?
Your
ship
Is
so
big
And
Difficult
To
Maneuver
How?!
Any
scout
ship
could
out
maneuver!
“En
-er
-gize,”
Still
It
Only
Points
One
Dire
-ction
And
Moves
Like
A
Barrel
Ing
Ox!
“Program
the
Navi
computer,”
You- “You We turned Off!”
Forgot Him
Appreciated but
Still too
Much
Sass
Aww, nice
He was
gentle
“ ~~~
Droid,”
I’m going
to assume
“You nearly
Fucked
Every
Thing
Up,”
Is
What
That
Means
“ Target
range
almost
locked,
sir,”
SWIRVE
They’re
Not
Gonna
Make
It
If
They
Don’t
Move
Slightly
To
The
Left!
“Program
a
Hyper-drive,”
What?!!
“Any where!”
???
“Enemy
ship
target
ed
Gen
er
al,”
Going
to
the
Prometheus
School
of
running
away
from
things
(You
Can
Literally
See
The
Ed
ges)...
Master...
This
Was
Your
Plan
Good job
*Turns)
We’re
Clear
Plo
Koon
Not
Sitting
Down
“Errr”
Possessive
Like
How
Does
He
Know??
Now
the
republic
will
learn
of
our
ion
cannon
???
Then don’t-
Like
a scout-
I just
Don’t
Think
They
Cared
Dooku
Quiet
‘Sidious
Is
going
To
Beat
Our
Ass
“Your
Failure
is
most
unfortunate,”
Correction;
*Yours
“ I will
have
to
discuss
this
with
my
master,”
“Rawr!”
Get Back
To
Work’
There’s
That
Abuse
Of
in superiors,
I was
Looking
For
‘Roger,
Roger’
*Grievous
Head
Pressed
To
That
Board,”
Ship
Brig
ade
Impress
Ive
Dock
ed
Sur
Prised
“Thanks
for
getting
us
out
of
there
in
one
piece,”
‘It’s
More
Than
Master
Koon
Would
‘ve
done!”
Even
if
you
have
no
choice
since
you’re
just
a
compilation
of
orders !
Too
Much
Personality
Also
Didn’t
Happen
“General Plo said someone would come for us,” nobody said in the most enabling way and seemed to imply enablers
Also, again, child soldier
Skywalker it’s time to give our report to the council
“Right-”
That
Just
Doesn’t-
Hit
Right
Too
Much
Person-
Ality
“C’mon
Ahsoka,”
“You
Want
Me
There,”
He needs you
there
The
Council
Pret
-ty
Much
Ordered
Him
To
Take
Care
Of
You
(If we’re
follow-ing
non-stupid
logic?)
“ I figure
because
of
before,”
He HAS TOO
“Ahsoka,”
‘I was ordered to
by a bunch of Deranged sociopaths
who think child soldiers
was a good idea,”
“You did
A
Great job,”
[Sigh]
Line work,
Wasn’t so
Good, near
the end
“ but if I’m getting in trouble
for this,
You
share
the
blame
too,”
I
feel
like
there
was
a
tortured
attempt
to
connect
it
back
to
Dooku
and
grievous
but
that
only
works
because
they’re
adults
capable
of
Malician,”
“ Right
besides
you
Sky Guy,”
Alright
First off;
Misleading title
Nothing really
escalates
(Nothing really rises
Except for
the Introductory
sec
Which
will
make
you
feel
like
you’re
in
high tides
Before
Red
Please
For
the
Love
of
You,
Skip
to
the
Red)
As we
don’t really
have a scale
Enablers do things
It’s not really a scale of an
intensity
Nothing basic yet
The plot I feel was on the
weaker side
Finding a weapon from
out of nowhere
‘ oh wait we know everything it does,’
Didn’t really come to a conclusion
But assuming they might follow it
up
As for now I feel that
they really could’ve gone for a
Fight ending
Really hyping
up this weapon
In Master Koon’s
Return
Only for
us
to see nothing
In
terms of
an equal battle
But, hey, maybe that comes in to play later
The one thing I can say really improved
Or was just better/ Good to see
Was the better writing
Of the
Child
Characters
Although
There were
a few
minor
Slip
Ups
Here
And
There
Especially
Near
The
End
Where there was a line
“ You did a great
job!”
That sounded...
Well it sounded like something from one of those cheap
TV shows
Or commercials
* hopefully not too harsh
I don’t
hold
Any
grud
ges
It was just an awfully recorded line
Any way next is; Shadows of Maleviolence
0 notes
Old Ben: A Star Wars Story
Had some ideas for an Obi-Wan Kenobi movie I’d want to see... without Darth Maul in it. I’ve watched some Rebels and The Clone Wars but I’m gonna completely ignore them and most of the other expanded media (because let’s be real, Disney probably will too) and come up with a film synopsis that won’t end in just another lightsaber duel. I want a movie that’s gonna challenge Obi-Wan’s Jedi faith, and I think I came up with something that could be compelling. Read on and lemme know what you think:
The film opens with the familiar sight of a Star Destroyer coming out of hyperspace above Tatooine. An Imperial shuttle descends from the capital ship’s hanger and makes its way down to Mos Eisley, flying over a bustling marketplace as it nears its landing site. Down in the streets we see an awestruck trio of human children watching the shuttle pass overhead: Luke, Biggs, and Camie. The kids are around nine or ten years old at this point and they’re enamored - albeit naively - with the Galactic Empire. Camie’s mother, who we’re going to tentatively name “Diane” (mostly because I imagine her played by Diane Lane and I don’t feel like coming up with Star-Warsy names for hypothetical characters), is looking after the children for the day while she shops.
Luke and Biggs, who dream of someday becoming TIE Fighter pilots, decide to slip away from Diane’s supervision while she’s haggling with a trader and go check out the shuttle at the docks. The responsible Camie objects and threatens to tattle on them but best bros Luke and Biggs can’t be deterred. They sneak near the landed vessel and observe an Imperial officer trudging menacingly down its boarding ramp. The boys overhear the officer saying something about locating a fugitive of the Empire and something else about making a deal with some shady Tatooine locals.
As the officer departs, the boys try to get a better look at the shuttle and are caught by a few Stormtroopers. The soldiers mock them and push them around, intending to arrest or otherwise harm them, until Diane arrives. She puts herself at risk and tries to protect her daughter’s friends, frantically attempting to coax the Stormtroopers into looking the other way. She fails to sway the brutish Imperials, who care nothing for the innocence of curious children, and it seems like all of them are in deep trouble when a cloaked man arrives just in time. The not-so-mysterious figure drops his hood and we get our first look at a 47-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi. Dude’s looking grizzled with a little more than a touch of grayed hair. One Jedi mind trick later, the group is able to safely walk away and the Stormtroopers have no memory of the event. Diane thanks their rescuer and takes Camie and Biggs home while Obi-Wan, introducing himself with a smile as “Ben,” offers to take Luke home himself. Luke doesn’t know Ben very well but he knows him enough to trust him, and so they leave Mos Eisley together.
Luke is left pretty confused by the encounter. His first experience with the Empire leads him to conclude they’re not as great as he’d first thought, and Ben’s refusal to explain how he threw off the Stormtroopers left Luke with even more questions. Remember, Luke has no idea what the Force is until it’s explained to him in A New Hope. Ben delivers Luke to Owen and Beru Lars, who are grateful for Ben’s interference. At this point, Luke’s Uncle Owen has little reason to dislike Ben and is overjoyed that his nephew was returned safely.
Luke goes to his room while the adults chat (it’d be cool if little Luke was playing with the same T-16 Skyhopper toy he has later) and Ben gets to telling Owen and Beru what happened at the spaceport. He explains that the Galactic Emperor suspected Tatooine might be a possible hiding place for a Jedi named Obi-Wan and that the Empire would send a battalion to their Mos Eisley checkpoint every now and then to scope things out. Ben recounts that Obi-Wan was killed around the same time Anakin was, and he warns that Luke shouldn’t be allowed near larger settlements when the Empire is visiting (and the Empire’s presence in town was why Ben decided to keep tabs on Luke that day in the first place). According to Ben, the Empire doesn’t know Obi-Wan is dead so they’re still circling the galaxy hunting for any sign of him. Owen and Beru heed his warning but they have no idea that Ben is in fact Obi-Wan himself, and this later mirrors the way Luke is told Anakin and Vader are two separate people.
Ben goes on to offer to train Luke in the ways of the Force, stating the boy is at the ideal age to do so, but a protective Owen is hesitant to the proposal. Beru, who is much more open to the idea, convinces Owen to consider it. Owen agrees to think about it, and Ben leaves them both to ponder young Luke’s future. He mounts his eopie, a creature you might recall from the prequels, and rides off into the treacherous Jundland Wastes where he’s made his home. Unbeknownst to Ben, however, he has a follower...
Say what you will about the green milk scene in The Last Jedi but I really enjoyed the montage of self-exiled Luke’s daily routine. I’d want to see something similar here, showing us how Ben survives as a hermit in the harsh wilds of the Dune Sea. And while he’s rustling up some grub made from desert flora and fauna (maybe actual grubs?), he’s interrupted by an attractive human woman. She approaches him as a lost traveller, asking if she can take shelter in his dusty little hut for the night. She’s a little too nosy and flirtatious for Ben to trust, however, and his Jedi instincts lead him to concoct a plan. He invites her to join him in his home and share his meal before in some way calling on his classic Kenobi cleverness to reveal her true identity. Turns out she’s a Clawdite changeling, much like the one he and Anakin pursued in Attack of the Clones, and Ben’s trickery causes her to revert to her natural reptilian form. Maybe he dupes her into eating something spicy or sour and that causes her to lose concentration and shapeshift back to her real self. Something along those lines.
Ben interrogates her and tries to find out who she is and why she was trying to deceive him. The Clawdite woman explains that she was also there at the spaceport keeping an eye on the Imperials when she saw what Ben did to save Diane and the children. The changeling, who we’ll name... wait for it... “Changeling,” recognized his Jedi mind trick. Coupled with her intel that the Empire was looking for one such runaway force-user, Changeling suspected he was the one they were after. Ben is frustrated and perturbed that someone finally caught on to his true identity and asks if her intention was to turn him in to the authorities. Changeling denies this, claiming she’s in trouble with the Empire and he’s the only one who can help her (but she doesn’t say “you’re my only hope” because repeating little lines like that just feels shoehorned half the time). She only shapeshifted and lied about who she was so she could get to talk with him over dinner and confirm that he wasn’t some kind of lunatic.
Changeling gathered a great deal of information thanks to her latent transformative abilities, allowing her to spy on the Imperial officer Luke and Biggs listened in on earlier. Apparently, members of the Empire’s leadership were growing tired of sending teams all the way to the Outer Rim to look for signs of Kenobi. The Imperial High Command or the Grand Moffs or whoever would be in charge of that disagreed with Emperor Palpatine’s decision to continue searching Tatooine. They believed they were wasting resources on this insignificant desert planet because of the “baseless” inklings and hunches of their monarch. Palpatine still suspected Obi-Wan’s presence there but the Moffs and Admirals weren’t big believers in the Force, so they decided to compromise instead. The Empire was going to give the job of monitoring Tatooine to a crime syndicate they were in talks with in (the Empire and the crime syndicate definitely have to meet at a cantina called “Club Mola Ram” as a reverse reference to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). The crime syndicate, which would be comparable to the one run by the Hutts, would be able to more thoroughly keep an eye out for any Jedi activity while the Empire could spend its time and resources on efforts they considered more important.
In exchange, the Empire agreed to construct a massive slave-processing facility for the crime syndicate. Slavery, which was outlawed by the Republic, was making a return in popularity thanks to the general shittiness of the Empire. And, wouldn’t you know it, the Empire was planning on seizing land from a number of moisture farmers in order to build it. You might be wondering why the Empire wouldn’t just pick a barren, unowned patch of land since Tatooine’s really just chock full of barren, unowned patches of land. They picked the part of the desert Changeling lives in because A, it’s within range of where the crime syndicate operates, B, it’s already equipped with the moisture farming infrastructure required to maintain it, and C, they can just turn the existing residents there into their first batch of slaves. The Empire and the crime syndicate wouldn’t lose a wink sleep over that, but Changeling and the moisture farmers in her community would suffer greatly.
Ben isn’t surprised that the Empire would stoop to that, but he does question why Changeling’s first impulse wasn’t to bring him in. If she captured Ben and handed him over, the Empire wouldn’t need to hire the crime syndicate and it wouldn’t need to build the “slave station” on her land. Ben is comforted to learn that Changeling, unlike most people at the time, is a supporter of the Jedi. She knows they’re the good guys, and she thought the right thing to do would be to tell Ben and at least try to work together with him.
Ben reluctantly refuses. He can’t risk himself as one of the last Jedi and he certainly can’t risk Luke, and he assures Changeling that he absolutely cannot get involved. Still trying to protect himself and the Jedi legacy, Ben denies the allegation that he’s a Jedi and continues to pretend he’s just some aging vagabond. He apologizes to her and it’s clear that he has to resist his desire to help people because he thinks it’s for the greater good. Changeling states her disappointment that he wasn’t more willing to help, and it is at that moment Ben realizes the two of them aren’t alone. He steps outside his hut to find it is surrounded by armed moisture farmers. They’re kind of a pathetic band of desperate people, obviously unsuited to be threatening anyone. Maybe one of them isn’t even holding his blaster correctly. Ben can clearly see they’re not really fighters but after a short bout (not involving any lightsabers or Force abilities because Ben’s still denying he’s a Jedi at all) the scene ends with him being stunned and taken captive anyway.
Ben awakens in an unfamiliar little house and slowly recognizes who was making sure he was alright while he was unconscious: Diane. Despite his grogginess, you can tell Ben’s happy to see her. He learns she and Camie also live on the endangered land before meeting a number of other farmers from their sector. So now we have Ben, Diane, Camie, Changeling, and room for a few other aliens or droids in their little crew. This is where the merchandise team has some real action figure opportunity. We’re going to name them “Huey, Dewey, and Louie” because Disney joke and also because they ultimately don’t matter much beyond comic relief or having cool/useful abilities. I’m not above throwing a few characters like this into a movie just to spice things up. Anyway, Ben learns that the half-dozen or so farmers he’s with are the only ones who know about him being there, although he still won’t admit he’s a Jedi. Changeling feels as if she isn’t left with much choice, so she finally sticks Ben with an ultimatum: help them stop the deal between the Empire and the syndicate or get knocked out again and be handed over to them against his will. Diane is a little taken aback by Changeling’s threat, protesting and claiming that the deal has already been struck and the Empire’s construction crews are already gathering in Mos Eisley. The way she says it, it seems like the slave facility is going to be built either way.
While Diane, Changeling, and the other farmers squabble, Ben quietly slips away and tries to escape them. But as he reaches his exit, he comes face to face with someone who had apparently been eavesdropping on the whole group. Ben is met with the violent screech-grunting of a Tusken Raider trying to assault him. Still avoiding the use of his fantastic Jedi abilities, Ben ducks and dodges as the enraged Sand Person swings wildly at him with his traditional gaderffii weapon. The other farmers hear all the commotion and run outside to meet them, trying to stop the fight, but Ben urges them to stay back for their own safety. He fights the Tusken Raider with his bare hands until he has no choice but to Force push his adversary away. The Tusken lands on his back while the onlooking farmers finally see proof Ben is indeed a Jedi, but the fight’s not over yet. “Tusk,” as I’m going to lazily name him, leaps to his feet and whips out a blaster, forcing Ben to finally ignite his blue lightsaber for the first time in the movie. He deflects the blaster bolts and Tusken, either in his native language or otherwise, reveals his motive:
Almost fifteen years earlier, Tusk’s people were murdered by a rampaging Jedi. He was just a Sand... Child (is “Sand Child” a thing? I don’t know how this works) at the time and was the only survivor. The one who murdered everyone else in his entire village, of course, was Anakin Skywalker during Attack of the Clones. The Tusken Raiders of other villages came to fear or worship Anakin as some kind of demon, but Tusk’s own village was wiped out and he subsequently grew up among the spacefarers and merchants of Anchorhead. The orphaned Sand Child grew into a Sand Man and eventually found a place as a farmhand on one of the threatened moisture farms, but his hatred for the Jedi who slaughtered his people never faded.
Tusk still had the image of a robed man with a blue lightsaber burned into his mind and suddenly there was one right in front of him. After he tells his tale in a little flashback, he angrily asks Ben if he was the one who did it all those years ago. Ben didn’t kill the Tusken Raiders, of course, but he knows Anakin did (somebody told him about it, but I’ll get to that). Still feeling guilty for failing Anakin ten years earlier, so to does Ben feel responsible for the deaths of Tusk’s people. And now here’s the kicker... Tusk senses Ben’s guilt with the Force. Tusk has no idea what the Force is and he thinks what he’s picking up is just his ancestors or something helping him seek the truth, but he can actually sense the shame Ben feels and that convinces him Ben is the murderer. Believing he’d found his chance at revenge, Tusk lashes out again with his gaderffii stick, forcing Ben to block with his lightsaber. That’s when we learn what Tusk has made his ceremonial weapon out of: cortosis. It hasn’t showed up in the films yet, but cortosis is a metal that can short out a lightsaber if it comes in contact with its energy blade. Ben’s lightsaber is extinguished and he can’t turn it back on right away, catching him by surprise and nearly costing him his life. But thanks to his Force powers and the help of Huey, Dewey, and/or Louie, Ben incapacitates Tusk and he’s locked up in some kind of storage unit as a makeshift jail cell.
The jig is up for Ben, who is at last revealed to actually be the Jedi they thought he was. He assures the rest of the group that he didn’t kill all those Sand People, and they choose to believe him since he made no attempt to kill Tusk in the skirmish earlier. Ben learns from the farmers that Tusk is known to be hot-headed and aggressive at times but is also considered a decent member of their farming community. The other farmers seem to know he has a troubled past involving Jedi and they knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to have him meet Ben, so they excluded him from their meeting. They didn’t expect Tusk to show up at their door like that, and Ben wonders if it was Tusk’s Force-sensitivity that guided him there. The farmers thank Ben for refraining from utterly slicing and dicing Tusk and Ben finally agrees to help them with their Empire problem.
Ben is staying with the moisture farmers for the night but he just can’t manage to catch some sleep. Troubled and uncertain, Ben is visited by the ghost of his former master, Qui-Gon Jinn (and you know it’s gotta be Liam Neeson reprising the role). The spectral Jedi Master sought to console his doubtful former apprentice, who was reflecting on all the pain and destruction Anakin and Darth Vader had dealt to the galaxy (there would definitely be some echoes to Force ghost Yoda visiting Luke in The Last Jedi here). Even ten years later, Ben still wonders where he went so wrong with his padawan that Palpatine could so effectively turn him to the dark side. Also, were you wondering how Ben knew about what Anakin did to the Sand People? Anakin wouldn’t have told Obi-Wan about that, but it’s mentioned in this scene that Qui-Gon’s ghost told Ben what Anakin did before the events of the film. Continuity! Anyway, Qui-Gon tries to reassure Ben and give him some words of wisdom and encouragement just before Diane unexpectedly arrives.
Qui-Gon’s spirit disappears and Diane says she came by because she saw the eerie glow of the ghost and wanted to investigate. She sees Ben can’t sleep and offers to make him some tea, or whatever they drink there, and the two stay up into the night talking. Diane eventually asks Ben about Luke and he momentarily lets his guard down to regale the story of his old friend Anakin Skywalker. Remember the story Ben tells nineteen-year-old Luke in A New Hope? She gets that same altered story but you can more obviously discern Ben’s censoring himself. He can barely keep the lie going but the subject of their conversation veers towards the celibacy of Jedi and how Luke came to be. During the conversation we learn that Camie’s father is no longer in Diane’s life and it leads Ben to question his sacred vows what with the Jedi Order as a thing of the past. Diane feels some type of way about Ben and they both know it, but he sees this as a test of his faith. Ben excuses himself before either one of them can make a move and says goodnight, finally getting a little sleep before he wakes up and learns...
...Tusk is gone. Guy somehow flew the coop in the middle of the night, hopping on his wooly Bantha steed and peacing the fuck out. The farmers kind of panic for a moment, realizing that he very well could’ve set off towards the Empire to report Ben. They figured Tusk would do that in an effort to simultaneously save their land and have his revenge, but perhaps Tusk overlooked the fact that the Imperials would kill them all for harboring a fugitive. They determine what time during the night Tusk must’ve left, and they realize that his slow-moving Bantha gave them a chance to head him off in time. Ben, Huey, and company board a landspeeder and go forth at blazing speeds across the desert with Dewey using his alien/droid abilities to track the Bantha (whatever those abilities may be). Take note - the farmers did have a ship at their disposal but Changeling said she had to stay behind and make repairs before they could fly it. Diane and Camie stay at the farm with her, leaving Ben and his inexperienced farmer companions to go out into the Dune Sea.
Unfortunately, a patrolling group of crime syndicate thugs catch them out in the open desert. A whole squadron of enemy speeders give chase, and I’m totally picturing Star War’s version of Mad Max: Fury Road. Imagine someone throwing Ben a blaster and asking “you ever use one of these before?” to which he casually replies “oh, once or twice.” Ben fights valiantly without using his Force powers until his landspeeder, driven expertly by Louie, is about to get wrecked. I’m imagining Ben would pull off some crazy maneuver with the Force, demonstrating the true mastery of his powers he’s refined over his years in solitude. He gets his lightsaber going too and it’d be quite the spectacle. I’d pay some seriously good money to see a scene like that, I dunno about you guys. I also wouldn’t say no to a scene where Ben hijacks one of the syndicate speeder bikes a la Luke in Return of the Jedi and I’m not going to pretend I don’t remember this awesome clip (I said I was gonna ignore Star Wars: The Clone Wars, never said anything about Star Wars: Clone Wars). Watch the clip, it’s great and Obi-Wan does the thing from Akira.
The chase scene ends with them entering a canyon, maybe even the same one from The Phantom Menace’s Boonta-Eve Classic if you want to throw in an extra easter egg. The criminals are killed or otherwise ejected from the chase one at a time until there are none left, you know how it goes. You see one of the syndicate thugs sending a signal to the Empire before it’s all over, letting them know Kenobi is located and is working with people from the farm. Ben on his stolen speeder bike and Huey, Dewey, and Louie in their landspeeder finally reach the wandering Bantha and are surprised to see it’s alone. Tusk’s not riding it, and that’s when Ben’s Jedi-sense gets tingling... Tusk’s not riding his Bantha because Tusk never left the farm.
Tusk sent his Bantha off alone, which would normally be a pretty serious offense in Tusken Raider culture. Sand People are bonded to their faithful Banthas for life, but Tusk sent his away so he could avenge his village and exact what he believed to be justice. He waited until Changeling had repaired her ship and taken off so he could kidnap Diane and Camie, knowing he could only do so if the other people in their group were led elsewhere. It was never his intention to go to the Empire because he desires to kill Ben himself.
Ben freaks when he realizes this and turns his bike around, zooming back towards the farm. Our trio of aliens/droids/whatever tries to go with him in their landspeeder but, conveniently, it breaks down and they have to wait for Changeling to swoop in for pickup with their ship. Ben makes it back to the farm and finds it empty. He discovers Tusk left a small tracking device behind for Ben to use, and so he immediately hops back on his bike and follows it despite knowing it’ll most likely be a trap. After Ben has left the farm again, Changeling and everyone on their ship make it back there too but they’re only inside for a few minutes before they hear the howls of incoming TIE Fighters. Their airspace is surrounded by several TIEs while that Imperial officer from earlier flies in on his shuttle. A platoon of Stromtroopers march out with the officer, who commands Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi exit the farmhouse. Little do they know, the real Ben is closing in on Tusk somewhere else entirely. Changeling decides to do something heroic, shapeshifting into Ben and making a daring escape. Diane’s farmhouse sustains heavy damage in the process but Changeling narrowly makes it to her ship, making sure to be seen in her Ben form and provoking the Imperial forces into chasing her. She pilots her small freighter away from the planet, drawing the Empire off the farm. Changeling thinks she can string them along and somehow make it back alive but she’s outnumbered and cannot escape them. Her ship is blown to smithereens, close enough to the planet’s atmosphere that the onlooking Huey, Dewey, and Louie see the explosion in the distance and cry alien/droid/duck tears. Sad time, but it leads the Empire to at long last confirm the fatality of the legendary Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Meanwhile, the tracking device leads actual Ben to this craggy, desolate wasteland. He finds Tusk, who is waiting for him at the edge of a cave along with an ensnared Diane and Camie. Classic “you killed the people I love so now I’m gonna kill the people you love” situation. Ben tries to ease Tusk into standing down and giving up the innocent woman and her child, even offering up his own lightsaber for their safe return. The enraged Tusken Raider rejects the lightsaber before the desperate Jedi Master also offers to train him in the Force. Ben levitates his lightsaber into Tusk’s hands, promising he’d find peace in learning the ways of the Force, but Tusk is hell-bent on revenge and won’t give up. He goes against Tusken Raider culture yet again, this time removing his head coverings and baring his face (gross) and his dark side-tainted eyes. Now consumed by the dark side of the Force, Tusk roars into the cave and receives a roar in return from what sounds like a large creature. Ben suddenly regrets giving up his lightsaber just as a titanic Krayt Dragon, a monstrous reptilian behemoth native to Tatooine, emerges from the cave. The beast is about to chow down on Diane but Ben uses the Force to demand its attention. He keeps the ravenous dragon focused on him while he evades its many attacks (including its acidic venom) until he finally is able to use enough Force mojo to pacify it.
Just when the hulking, hundred-meter lizard is calming down, a furious Tusk leaps into the fray, disrupting Ben’s attempt to placate it. This turns into a chaotic three-way battle between Ben, Tusk, and the overwhelmingly strong Krayt Dragon. Though already exhausted, Ben manages to get his lightsaber back but is careful not to let it connect with Tusk’s cortosis gaderffii stick. This proves to be challenging, pushing Ben’s middle-aged agility to its limits. The old Jedi Master eventually falters when his lightsaber is fizzled out by the brittle cortosis weapon and he drops it, leaving him open to be swatted away by the dragon’s whip-like tail. Then the monster disarms and pins Tusk down, ready to bite his fucking face off, when Ben uses the Force to lift the gaderffii and send the sharp end of it through the beast’s skull like a missile. The beast is instantly killed and collapses but an injured Ben can barely stand or defend himself anymore.
Tusk picks up Ben’s lightsaber just as the cortosis’ disabling effect wears off and he turns it back on. Sure looks like Tusk is about to finish Ben with his own weapon, but instead he slashes at the Krayt Dragon’s side and makes a deep gash. Tusk reaches into the dead wyrm’s guts and retrieves a dazzling, almost luminous pearl. He hands it and the lightsaber back to Ben and expresses his newfound understanding. During the whole battle, there was no point at which Ben tried to kill Tusk, and Ben even saved Tusk from certain death in the end. It was then that the remorseful Tusken Raider could sense the truth, and that his opponent was innocent. Ben apologizes despite being vindicated, telling Tusk is was his failure as a mentor that led to the tragedy of his village. He kind of vents his guilt to Tusk, who turns around and reveals a glob of acid venom burning through his back, slowly killing him. With his dying breaths, Tusk forgives Ben and voices his regret for sending his Bantha away and for going against the traditions of his people. He urges Ben not to make that same mistake, not for anything, and he ultimately helps Ben reaffirm his faith in the Jedi. Quelling the dark side within Tusk makes Ben think of redeeming Vader and how possible or not that might be.
Everyone regroups and they mourn Changeling’s sacrifice. The Empire believes Obi-Wan has been eliminated so they pack up and leave Tatooine, forsaking their deal with the crime syndicate, which is left in shambles after losing so many thugs in the desert chase. Tusk’s Bantha, who was spiritually linked to Tusk, is found to have died right when his master did. Spooky. Ben gives the valuable Krayt Dragon pearl to Diane, Huey, Dewey, and Louie so they can sell it and use the profits for their farms. The farmers explain that slaying a Krayt Dragon and claiming its pearl are actual rites of passage for young Tusken men, so Ben and Tusk inadvertently completed that ritual in a sense. Anyway, the farmers consider hiring some enforcers of their own to stave off the remnants of the syndicate and decide to pay to rebuild Diane’s farmhouse. Owen Lars later comes to learn that Ben was responsible for the destruction of Diane’s property, not believing the explanation that it was actually Changeling posing as him (and it was really the TIE Fighters’ faults anyway). Owen refuses to allow such a dangerous individual around his nephew or the Lars family farm and so Luke doesn’t really see Ben again for another decade. And by the time they meet again in A New Hope, Ben’s perfected his Krayt Dragon call... I think?
At last, Ben is ready to say his goodbyes to Diane. She’s not upset with him about her farm, but she’s more upset that Tusk would so spontaneously give in to the dark side. Ben explains how quickly revenge can turn someone Force-sensitive to the path of violence, and it wasn’t so surprising someone who’d vowed revenge for all those years could succumb to it. “Revenge, anger, ...and attachment.” With that, she understands what Ben is having difficulty saying: they simply cannot be together. She agrees with him, expressing her newfound fear and misunderstanding of the Force and its vast influence. Diane says she can see how difficult it would’ve been to watch Anakin go through that, and she wishes one day Ben can do for Anakin what he did for Tusk. Diane kisses him... nothing intense, more of a “thank you” than anything else. I think she’d feel kind of sorry for him that she can see he’s such a noble person and he’s so devoted to his values but he won’t allow himself what would likely make him happy. With that somber gesture, Ben tells her his true name is Obi-Wan, gets back on his speeder bike, and goes back to his hut. The end! Can’t believe you made it this far. In my head this was gonna be one page tops but whoops I guess its nine. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Reproduction in the GFFA
This post was inspired by a comment thread on @jedimordsith's The Gift Chapter Eighteen. I hope to spur a discussion or provide some meta and head-canons to help other creators in the fandom. Because I can't remember anyone discussing baby making before. Canon for this post are the original trilogy, prequels trilogy, and sequel trilogy. Clone Wars and Rebels television series are part of the canon, but I haven't watched either shows, so someone else will have to provide examples from them. EU Legends and Disney EU supplement the canon and will be cited so others can use those tidbits or set them aside according to their personal preferences. Everybody ready?
I'm writing this before the Last Jedi opens, so we are working with seven saga films and one anthology film. Out of those eight, only one character is shown pregnant and giving birth, Padmé Amidala. The only other character to talk about giving birth is Shmi Skywalker when talking about Anakin to Qui Gon Jinn. So the experiences of these two characters gives us natural reproduction according to their species. For the purposes of this discussion, natural reproduction means without the assistance of technology; sexual reproduction for humans and possibly many more alien species in the GFFA and potentially asexual reproduction as well though I don't have any examples in my memory. The Hutts were hermaphrodites in EU Legends, but according to Wookieepedia Disney EU has decided to divide that population along male and female now.
Even with the pregnancy examples, we the viewers aren't taken along on any medical check-ups to see what kind of assisted reproductive technology the GFFA has. In fact the fandom has wondered if it was lack of prenatal care that actually killed Padmé if her keeping her pregnancy secret extended to never seeing a medical droid or practitioner. But we shouldn't overlook the fourth parent shown in the prequels and how he got his child: Jango Fett and his clone son Boba.
As part of his compensation for being the genetic template for the clone army the Kaminoans created, Jango requested a clone who did not have the same genetic modifications such as behavioral conditioning and growth acceleration. We meet Boba as a ten-year-old child in Attack of the Clones, and presumably Jango has been raising Boba since he left the cloning tank as viable infant. My respect for Jango has gone up a notch; it's not easy to be a single parent no matter what galaxy you're in. And with this information, cloning tanks have to be added to a list of assisted reproductive technology the GFFA has.
But just because the technology exists doesn't mean it is available for the masses. Figures weren't quoted in the Attack of the Clones, but the Grand Army of the Republic was not cheap and the Kaminoans took ten years to grow and develop their clones for this purpose. Cost prohibitions can be inferred further by how the Imperial military moved into enlistment and conscription models to maintain stormtrooper numbers. I think we can safely say that the normal population of the GFFA couldn't afford to clone a baby even if the Empire did not restrict access to the technology. EU Legends developed a separate technology for cloning with the Spaarti cloning cylinders (invented by Timothy Zahn before George Lucas figured out what the Clone Wars were all about) that worked faster--a fully grown and trained clone in a year rather than ten--and could work even faster if the Force didn't interfere with the speed by making the clones mentally unstable. This technology was locked down by the Empire, and was thought destroyed since the Clone Wars by the rest of the population.
While we don't know how Jango Fett donated his genetics to the Kaminoans, all the adult clones were a physical copy of him on screen. But a plot point in EU Legends had a clone of Luke grown from his preserved severed hand. So how ever cloning works in the GFFA, it's not limited to gametes (sperm and ovum or whatever alien equivalents are).
So what about real assisted reproductive technologies? Are they present in the GFFA? We have no canon evidence of ultrasounds, artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization, or gestational surrogate pregnancy but it's hard to think that if we have all these things, they must have them too. After all they can replace limbs with fully-articulated prosthetic parts that can be permanently attached to the body.
Research time! While I didn't go much deeper than Wikipedia and Google searches (go deeper for sources if you're writing for a grade), I was surprised to learn that most of these things that are now ubiquitous with pregnancy are developments younger than I and A New Hope. Artificial insemination in humans turned out to be the oldest, first successfully done in 1884. Sperm banks started in Iowa in the 1920s, making donated sperm available for couples with fertility problems as well as women without male partners.
Medical ultrasounds developments started in 1940s in several countries. Professor Ian Donald, Tom Brown, and Dr. John MacVicar published their findings as "Investigation of Abdominal Masses by Pulsed Ultrasound" on June 7, 1958. Afterwards, they continued to refine their techniques to obstertic applications to measure the growth of the fetus at the Glasglow Royal Maternity Hospital and in the new Queen Mother's Hospital in Yorkhill. But it was only in the 1970s that the technology became widely used in American hospitals and further refinement has led to our ease of determining the sex of fetues. (https://www.livescience.com/32071-history-of-fetal-ultrasound.html). Before ultrasounds, detecting multiple fetal heartbeats was the only way to determine if there was more than one child but it is a more inaccurate process.
The first successful birth of a child from in vitro fertilization was in 1978. A woman carried the first successful gestational surrogate pregnancy in 1985. Surrogacy is a method or agreement whereby a woman agrees to carry a pregnancy for another person or persons, who will become the newborn child's parent(s) after birth. The next step is artificial wombs, which moved forward in 2017 with animal trials. It's aimed for helping a premature fetus develop normally rather than taking over the whole process. That is still in the realm of fiction.
Lois McMaster Bujold created uterine replicators for her Hugo-award-winning Vorkosigan Saga series. Star Wars fans you will like these books: space opera, exotic worlds and cultures, political intrigues, family dramas, strong women characters, and the main protagonist is disabled and keeps fighting to show his worth to his culture. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vorkosigan_Saga) Genetic manipulation is commonplace, though of varying degrees of acceptance depending on the culture. The uterine replicators are essential to this process because it allows complete in vitro human reproduction. The embryo and fetus can be genetically modified as benign as just removing a genetic disease so it is finally eradicated to controlling the sex and appearance of the fetus, which led to the creation of the Quaddies. The freedom and safety this technology provides is also a plot point in the series since Miles' disabilities are the result of poisoning his mother went through while pregnant. His cousin Ivan--while born naturally perfectly healthy--was nearly murdered in the womb when his parents were caught by a rebelling faction during a civil war. The other nifty factor is they can use any cell from the parents to create the embryo, though gametes are the easiest to work with, and donated oocyte if there is no ovum from the mother. (See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep) for how that works.)
I came to the Vorkosigan Saga after Star Wars, so my light bulb was phrased "uterine replicators are just like Star Wars cloning tanks!" The technology is virtually identical, the only difference being parents' blended DNA instead of creating a copy of the donor. I'm head-canoning that this exists in the Star Wars universe as assisted reproductive technology, probably with a different name to keep it separate from cloning and probably priced out of financial reach for most of the population in GFFA. I haven't coined a Star Wars-ish name for it, so suggest away please.
Besides allowing for reproduction for infertile, same-sex, or extremely-unable-to-accommodate-pregnancy couples, this technology allows for hybrid babies between two species that are unable to reproduce naturally. I can't think of any examples of this in pro-fic (Wedge had a non-human girlfriend for a bit but she got shunted off-stage pretty quickly), but this is a situation that we fanfic-writers love to exploit and fill-in-the-gaps. It's an option along with the ones we covered that we can use right now in real life.
Thank you for sticking with me to the end of this long look at reproduction in the GFFA and our own galaxy. I've gained a new point of view considering this topic and the films. Lucas not putting in what turned out to be cutting edge technology in the original trilogy of his space opera, I can give him a pass on. It wasn't necessary for the story he was telling Padmé skipping prenatal check-ups to keep her pregnancy a secret from the Jedi Order can explain the lack of knowledge that she's carrying twins but only to a certain point. How come all the Force users around Padmé missed it? The only good explanation I've got is the twins kept hiding each other in the Force from all the other Force users, and Obi-Wan and Yoda were too polite to scan her. Did Stover come up with a reason in the novelization? I still need to read it. Share your thoughts please. :D
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How Fans Helped Hasbro Build Its Biggest Star Wars Ship Ever
Toys and Star Wars are inextricably linked forever and ever. Star Wars creator George Lucas famously waived part of his directing fee and retained the insanely lucrative rights to Star Wars merchandise in a deal that has gone down in history as a catastrophic blunder on the part of 20th Century Fox. The studio was skeptical this oddball space movie would resonate with audiences, even if its critters, spaceships, and memorable villains seem like obvious toys in hindsight.
After the first film hit, everything changed. Famously, licensees had to scramble to meet demand for Star Wars goods after the movie became a surprise sensation. Christmas 1977 saw Kenner hawking empty boxes full of promises instead of action figures. Since then, Kenner's 3-3/4-inch scale toys, and yes, the vehicles, have become highly collectible icons of pop culture for nostalgic, well-heeled adults.
Hasbro, which acquired Kenner in the early 1990s, is now turning to the same nostalgic fanbase to fund its future Star Wars ambitions. Using a crowdfunding campaign back in March, Hasbro raised $4.5 million to build what might be the most impressive Star Wars toy ever—a molded plastic recreation of Jabba the Hutt's sail barge from Return of the Jedi.
3-D Printed Childhood Dreams
Tackling Jabba's barge (known as "The Khetanna" in the Star Wars universe) is a move few would have expected. In February, Hasbro debuted a rough, early version of the craft at the New York Toy Fair. All unpainted white plastic with 3D-printed components, the barge was nowhere near what the finished product would look like. That didn't matter—fans were flabbergasted.
"When we announced it at Toy Fair there was this audible gasp in the room … they just couldn't believe it," says Hasbro senior marketing director Kristin Hamilton. Sized to fit the traditional 3-3/4-inch tall action figures, the barge is not quite correctly scaled, but at 80 percent of the correct scale, it's still a whopper.
This 49-inch-long toy is by far the biggest Star Wars ship Hasbro has ever made. And it has a pedigree too—it's designed by veteran Kenner and Hasbro employee Mark Boudreaux.
If you ever zoomed a Star Wars ship around your house as a kid, you probably have Mark Boudreaux to thank. "Mark is one of a kind. He is the 40-year history of Star Wars toys at Kenner and Hasbro," says Steve Sansweet, chief executive at Rancho Obi-Wan, the Guinness Book-ranked museum with the largest Star Wars collection in the world.
The campaign rules were laid out: 45 days, $500 each, 5,000 backers or bust.
The attention to detail on the ship is superb. Under the removable side panels, it hides details not even seen on screen, like a cockpit with two captains' chairs, a kitchen, and a jail cell (complete with the corpse of an Ithorian). Jabba sits tall on his dais, surrounded by alien trophies. Up top, cloth sails fly in a brilliant orange-red just like in the movie.
The Kickstarter-style campaign rules were laid out: 45 days, $500 each, 5,000 backers or bust, with the countdown starting on February 17th. If the Khetanna wasn't funded within the six-week window? "We would have had a very rare single prototype," says Steve Evans, Hasbro's Star Wars development director. Hasbro branded the initiative HasLab, making it clear the company hopes to fund other, non-Star Wars toys in the future.
Unlike the crowd-designed, democratized Lego Ideas project, HasLab has one mission: to create the wildest, craziest toys fans would die for.
"[Crowdfunding] was a natural way for us to bring those dream products to life that our fans have been clamoring for," says Hasbro's Hamilton.
Sansweet, who has penned books about Hasbro's past action figure efforts, was impressed by the the ambitious first HasLab project. "I'd never conceived of anything like that. It was a way for them to do something that they ordinarily would not have dared to do because of the risks involved," he says.
The expectation for any crowdfunded product is that backers aren't just buyers—they're encouraged to participate in the process and give feedback. Despite its long reputation for secrecy, Hasbro gave backers a peek behind the curtain, and the opportunity to watch a prototype sail barge inch closer to production. "This was a partnership between us and our community. We needed them, they needed us. It was a symbiotic initiative," Hasbro's Evans told me.
Stay on Target
Even the most compelling Indiegogo or Kickstarter campaign has a lull at some point. In the case of The Khetanna, the 45-day run had one hell of a fallow period, petering out after a solid initial burst. Many, myself included, felt like this campaign might share the fate of the barge's movie counterpart—blowing up in spectacular fashion.
"If it didn't succeed, I don't know that we would have heard anything more about HasLab."
Steve Sansweet of Rancho Obi-Wan
"I kept looking every couple of days and frankly, I was sure this was not going to work," Sansweet says. "I was very pessimistic about it. It's a fairly high price, limited to North America. It looked to me like it wasn't going to make it."
That's when Hasbro upped the ante, showing off more images of The Khetanna, this time fully decked out in screen-accurate paint. The company also announced that each toy would get a limited-edition action figure, and one with significance to collectors.
"Yak Face was a background character in Jabba's Palace and on the sail barge," Sansweet says. "The figure was released in Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and even in Canada on a card with a coin. Yak Face was never released in the United States."
Hasbro's Evans waxed nostalgic about the pick. The team could have picked from dozens of other creatures, he says, "but there was something so pure and magical about Yak Face that we couldn't not do it. Yak Face was impossible to get as a kid and we carried that with us through our lives as collectors. Because we were delivering the impossible vehicle, it was a no-brainer."
With the campaign's window closing, Hasbro was still falling far short of the 5,000 backers required—and much more than just a gigantic, expensive Star Wars toy was hanging in the balance.
"About a week before, they were still, gee, 1,500 short," Sansweet says. "Frankly, this was a very important one. If it didn't succeed, I don't know that we would have heard anything more about HasLab." Fans and toy blogs helped spread the word via social media using the hashtag #BacktheBarge, but the needle barely budged.
Hasbro's Hamilton confessed the sail barge was "a nail-biter" of a project. "I think we would have all cried if it didn't make it," she says. "There was a lot of passion for this product internally."
LEARN MORE
The WIRED Guide to Star Wars
A New Hope
Like in any Star Wars story, the middle chapter is when the heroes are at their lowest point and a triumphant ending is almost inevitable. In late March, barge watchers noticed a sharp uptick in backers. "All of a sudden, the numbers started climbing dramatically. Adding hundreds in half a day." Steve Sansweet was ecstatic—it meant the two Barges he bought for the Rancho Obi-Wan collection might actually materialize. By March 30, Hasbro welcomed its 5,000th backer.
Once HasLab crossed the threshold required to make the product, thousands of additional backers quickly jumped in. "It shot past 5,000 and past 8,000. It warmed my heart and really shocked me," says Sansweet. He and 8,809 other fans were guaranteed to get toys once HasLab reached its end date of April 3.
Steve Evans expressed his relief that, like Luke Skywalker's one-in-a-million torpedo shot, backers won the day. "There was a sense of elation certainly within Hasbro and on the fan sites. It was like a perfect 45-day roller coaster ride. It was emotional!"
Hasbro plans to ship the finished product to backers in 2019, and has taken fan feedback into consideration when finalizing the design. "We introduced it to the fans earlier than we ever would normally," Evans says. "The discussion at conventions, online, and in forums informed how we're finishing off the product, purely because we were able to show it early. That's something new for us."
With one success under its belt, Hasbro is free to tap into its other beloved franchises to give fans products they otherwise couldn't. Whether it's Transformers, My Little Pony, or GI Joe, there are plenty of opportunities to come up with even crazier products. It has yet to be seen whether or not we'll get a banquet table-sized recreation of the USS Flagg or an epic die-cast Optimus Prime.
Sansweet has one dream Star Wars product he'd like to see in a future HasLab: a giant Death Star toy he once saw in prototype form.
"Hasbro asked me to bring a bunch of fellow collectors to chat about the future of Star Wars and how to move forward," he says. "This was 1995 or so. They had this modular Death Star. And of course, [when I picture it] in my mind's eye it was just an incredible piece. I can't even give you the diameter—maybe three or four feet in radius. It had different levels, and each level had scenes from a movie … we were all going, 'Oh my God! That's amazing! When are you gonna make that!?' Those of us who were there talked about that for years afterwards. If they can do the sail barge, they can do something like that too."
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Star Wars: Rancho Obi-Wan Tour
Take a tour of the largest private collection of Star Wars memorabilia in the known universe. Rancho Obi-Wan has about 300,000 peices in its collection.
Read more: https://www.wired.com/story/how-fans-helped-hasbro-build-its-biggest-star-wars-ship-ever/
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