#(or at least. what they were up to before covid shut everything down)

[sturniolosass]

Sick - a Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Summery - Nick and Matt are sick with Covid and you offer to come and help take care of them.

*fluff, like…pure fluff*

It’s Tuesday Night and you get a call from your boyfriend Matt letting you know he tested positive for covid, Your first reaction was to ask if he need anything medicine, soup, water. He had stated that he and the boys were fine without it and that you should stay home and rest but you insisted. So ending the call you decided to head over to him and his brothers home to help take care of all three of them.

Before heading to the house you decided to run to your local grocery store and grab a few things for the soup you’d be making and also a box of tea.

Once you checked out you started making your way to the house.

Once you arrived you knocked on the door urgently and saw Chris, you urgently pulled a mask over your face

“Yo! I’m good, i don’t have Covid…” he said

“ohhh oh my god, i thought all of yall were sick as fuck” you stated with a sigh of relief

“where are Matt and Nick?” you asked with a sense of panic

“they are both locked away in their rooms..i wouldn’t let them contaminate you” he laughed

“I don’t think it would matter hence i put myself in this situation. Wanna help me cook?” you ask Chris hoping he’d say no remembering his cooking history

“uhhhh im not sure you want that..” Chris replied

“you know what! you’re right” you replied rushing over to the stove

You put everything down on the counters before rushing around the corner hall to Matt’s room. Knocking on the door you say “Matt, are you hungry? How’re you feeling?” then listening in for a response you hear counting..

“1..2..3..4..5” Matt counts..

You call again “Matt?!”

Matthew then hurriedly opens the door wearing a mask he then says “what’re you doing here..? you’re gonna get sick! go home!” he rushing griefs to shut the door.. but your foot’s in between the hinges “i wanted to come and take care of you guys i know you guys don’t really know how to do that yourself.., have you even had any medicine..?” you ask worriedly “yea..” Matt looks around suspiciously “well no..but still i don’t want you getting sick, you should go home, coming here was sweet though i really appreciate you thinking of us honestly” he replies expecting you to leave which you do.. but not the house

Time to cook..

You grab all your ingredients and start making the soup. Onion, Celery, Garlic, Carrots, Noodles, etc.. once everything is cooking you decide to throw on a movie within the same time in which Chris decides to come up stairs from the ground floor… “sooo like, I know i’m not sick but that smells oh so yummy” he says in a weird yet entertaining voice “can i please have some too?” he begs. You look at him funny and reply “I mean.. i guess i’m trying to make enough so that there’s at least enough for two days..” he then notices the TV and asks “what is this? saltburn or some shit?” you look at him in disgust “No. it’s The Turning” you say matter of factly. “what is it about” he asks, “i don’t know for real, just some indie horror film” you tell, “oh alright well please let me know first when the food is done” he pleads. “whatever.” you say.

One the food is done you call up the guys one by one to grab a bowl. First Chris cause he asked so kindly, then Nick.. Once Nick comes down he seems fine, Then he starts coughing a lot, causing you to worry and offer him tea. He politely declines claiming to not enjoy tea that much. He then heads back upstairs and Matt comes out of his room after 5 minutes..

“Hey, I really appreciate you coming here and treating me and my brothers so sweet.. i was on the phone with my mom and she really thanks you because she can’t be here to do these things for us” he says lovingly smiling up at you with his cute little red nose from blowing it all day. “no problem, i love you guys a lot. you especially, so i have no problem with probably leaving here sick just to make sure you guys are ok” you reply. Matt them comes behind you whilst you’re stirring the soup on the low heat and gives your back a nice firm hug. “I love you” he says. At first you’re very caught off guard because that’s the first time he’s spoken those three words to you.. but coming to your senses you immediately respond “i love you too, Matt” in to which he smiles in the crook of your neck and kisses it. You turn and hug him back.

“Want some soup or tea?” you ask politely. “Sure, i’ll have some tea” he responds thankfully. “i already had food like a few hours ago. thank you though.” he adds. You pop a Peppermint tea in the keurig and he sits at the table. “i’m glad you’re here, i feel like i’ve been going crazy locked in my room all day.” he speaks. “I was counting my steps as i paced my room earlier because my apple watch felt i was being ‘lazy’ even though i’m quite frankly sick as all hell” he adds.. “hahaha yea i heard that, i was so confused” you reply coming in for a kiss in which he hesitates “i don’t wanna risk your chance of getting more sick” he states in to which you reply “the sickness is airborne, love. if im gonna get sick it’s gonna happen regardless. i’ve already stepped in the house.” leaning in you kiss his lips. The keurig finishes and you mix a little bit of honey in his mug and hand him the cup.

Nearing the end of the night you and Matt head into his room to relax, figuring you’d already be sick Matt invites you to stay the night knowing it shouldn’t get any worse from here unless you go home where your family lives. You both decide to watch a movie, Matt begging you to help him finish saltburn stating he was bored with it in the first 20 minutes. You oblige only to regret it seeing he’s only watched a small portion of the ‘weird’ movie, however you continue watching just to keep him company and watch him fall asleep comfortably in your arms...

The End :)

a/n: idk how i feel about the end of this.. but you know what, its my first and i’ll only get better as i keep going.. :)) THANKS FOR READING!

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo headcanon #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo imagine #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut

[cupoftaae]

Heyy! Love your work💜 Could you maybe write something fluffy, where tae is y/n’s comfort and she goes to him after a bad day🫶🏻

Hello there! AW, thank you for reading!

Fluffy taehyung is my weakness, I hope you enjoy anon :)

warnings- mentions of weed, swearing. Soft taehyung needs his own warnings tbh. also this takes place as if they were both like, 19-20 ish ....KIND OF FRIENDS TO LOVERS LOWKEY

wanna build a pillow fort? -KTH drabble

you werent sure how you had landed in this position in the first place, but here you were, sitting in the living room while your parents explained to you that...well...the college you had been praying to get into one day had declined you.

"are you sure?" you whispered, watching your dad show you the letter. You sighed, trying to hold back any signs of emotion. You had taken a gap year between graduating high school to now, just to grasp your bearings. You put all your energy into working and getting into school, but the universe had other plans.

"I know you wanted this so badly, y/n, im sorry" your mother sat down next to you. "What am I gonna do? I had no backup plan..." your face falls into your hands. "your so young, you have time. you can also sign up to take classes, you dont need to be a student" your mom adds.

"but I wanna be a student, thats the whole point."

"listen, I know this is stressful, but just go get some rest and maybe we can figure out a new plan tomorrow? ok?" your father stands up, looking at you sadly.

You shrugged, knowing that they were just trying to help, but there was no way out of this, you were fucking upset.

Once you had gotten into your room, slamming your door shut, you collapsed onto your bed and took 5 deep breathes, you didnt want to cry. You were a big girl now and crying over school was dumb. You just wanted to be with someone right now, and your best friend was 3 streets over, making things difficult.

You could invite him over, but your father wasnt too pleased to see him late at night the last time he was here. He had walked in and alerted your dog, making him bark until your parents came downstairs, freaked out. They also just dont like the idea of a boy being in your room, despite the fact you are 19, and have been friends with taehyung since you were little....there were absolutely no feelings like that showing up... at least thats what you chose to believe.

You quickly texted him just to see if he was even up to hang.

You: wyd

Tae: making ramen, wbu?

you smiled and chose to ignore his message, making the quick decision to grab your jacket and sneak out your window. Youve only done this one other time, and it was when you had covid and your friend Vanessa dropped off chipotle outside on your side of the house for you.

You prayed to God that your parents had no installed cameras, because one, you didnt want to get caught, and two, you fell on your ass on the way out. "Jesus christ" you scoff, getting up and making a dash to taehyungs house in the dark.

-

Taehyung was standing in the kitchen and dancing to music with his dog, making his little paws move according to the choreography. "Why are you making food so late?" Taehyungs mother spoke, coming into the room to fill up her tea. "because its friday.." he mumbled, mouth full of noodles.

"Okay" she laughed and shook her head, "just clean up, yeah? oh, an-"

his mother was cut off by the front door being knocked on, "who is here at this hour?" she whispered, walking over to look through the peep hole. She sarcastically looked back at taehyung, "why is y/n on my front step?" she smirked.

"she is??" he walked over to the door.

"you know if you wanted to plan a date, I could have made real food for you guys"

"mom stop" he shyly shushed her before opening the door.

"hello" you mumble, bowing at the presence of his mother.

"Hey, y/n...is everything alright?" he asks, his mother gently pulling you inside. "its almost 11 dear" she spoke.

"Im ok, Im just needing some time out of my house, I hope im not intruding?"

"oh no, no, sweetie youre good" she smiled and closed the door.

Taehyung hugged you and glanced at his mom

"i'll be upstairs if you need anything" she spoke, grabbing her tea and walking upstairs before yelling "Be good, just not too good"

He laughed and pulled away to look at you. "Not that I mind your presence, but...why are you here?"

you giggled as he took your coat and hung it up. "well....I uhm" you looked around before sitting on the edge of the couch. "I didnt get in" you shrugged, forced smile on your face.

"hm? what are you talking about?" he stands in front of you

"I received a letter in the mail today from HUFS, and it was declining my application" you speak softly, watching him frown.

"y/n...Im so sorry"

"its okay, its just a lot, but i'll be fine."

He kneeled in front of you and held your hands, "you know...its okay to be sad, right?" he whispers, "that was your dream school.."

you nodded, wanting to sink into the floor the moment you felt tears prickling your eyes. "I know, but...something new will come. I just really wanted to be like you, in school and working towards my degree already, you know?" you shrug.

he nods, "I know, but.." he squeezed your hands, "life isnt a competition, we all do things when the universe pulls us in that direction. Its ok this didnt work out, maybe it was for the best. I know you, y/n, and whatever you do in life is going to be fucking amazing, no doubt about it. So be sad, mourn what you will miss, but dont let it hold you back."

you nodded as tears escaped your eyes, small cries falling from your lips as he immediately held you up and wrapped you into his arms. "Its okay....I promise" he coo'd, hand brushing your hair as you finally let yourself feel upset.

"thank you" you sniff, wiping your eyes as you hold him.

"cmon, lets go eat junkfood and build a fort" he squeezed your waist, making you blush slightly as you followed him to the kitchen. "a fort?" you asked, eyes still wet.

"mhm, with like the pillows and stuff" he spoke, taking another bite of noodles.

you giggle, "ok"

-

You two sat under a giant pillow fort, with a blanket over the head for the roof. "I have to say, your pillow fort making skills have improved. Remember when we were little and it would always collapse on us?" you snorted, nudging him.

"I have improved and grown in many ways, trust the process of time" he joked, taking a bite of the chip in his hand.

He definitely had grown and improved, taking a moment to look over his face proves the fact that Taehyung had matured quite nicely at that.

"dont stare its rude" he teased, finding something to watch on youtube.

You shake your head, "sorry" you lean over to lay beside him so you can see the screen of his laptop.

"Your parents wont like...kill me...if they find out you spent the night, right?"

you giggle, "am I spending the night?"

"well, you dont have to, I just assumed because its already 1am and its not safe for you to be out and about"

you shook your head, "what? so I dont have what it takes to fight off street hagglers?"

"oh you do, Im keeping you off the street for their safety" he spoke seriously, making you laugh.

"mm, and no, my parents arent gonna do anything, I dont think....maybe.....you know what? I dont know"

"oh that makes me feel good" he fake pouts

"Im teasing, im 19 and they need to get over keeping me locked up all the time..." you play with the fabric of the blanket.

"I think your dad hates me, dude" he sighed, shutting his laptop and leaving you both to lay in the dark as you looked up at the green blanket roof.

"shut up, he does not"

"He told me that he didnt want me showing up there anymore"

"thats because it was 4am and you scared the dog, I told you to come in through the window you fucking dumbass" you joked, "he also caught you with weed, so there you go"

"hm, fair I guess" he sighed

"he doesnt hate you I promise" you turned on your side to face him, not realizing how close your faces were.

He turned his head, noses barley touching as you both looked over each others faces in the dark.

"are you feeling better?" he whispered

"yeah...yeah I am" you mumbled, wanting to pull away but also choosing to stay put.

"good" he smiled and turned his body so it was also laying on his side, facing you.

"Y/n?" he asked

"yeah?"

"is it ok if I kiss you?"

you felt your hear stop in your chest, what did he just ask you?

"w-what?" you look at him, eyes wide

"I asked if I could kiss you?" he repeated, voice so soft and quiet. "its ok to say no" he added.

you took a breath, realizing that in moments like this, you really have to be honest with yourself and stop saying you aren't attracted to him, because here he is, in front of you, asking to kiss after taking his time to make you feel better. You can only hold on to your discipline so much before you fold.

"yeah...yeah you can kiss me, tae" you exhale, shocked the words even came from your mouth.

His large hand came up to hold your face delicately, thumb brushing your skin as you both leaned in slowly until each others lips clashed. The feeling felt a lot more natural than you anticipated, it wasn't weird, or awkward or cringe, it felt....right?

If tae's plan was to make you fully forget about that college letter, than goal achieved.

You knew you both would have to talk about this later, at some other time when your mouths weren't attached to each other, but for now all you wanted to do was be thankful for him.

you gently pulled back and giggled like a little girl, a blush creeping over your face as he pulled you against his chest. There were no words or jokes, you both simply laid together before eventually falling asleep in each others embrace.

Maybe he was right about better things coming, and maybe this was it.

A/N- this was so cute I was kicking my feet and giggling while writing, we all need our own taehyung.

#taehyung smut #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung fanfic #bangtan #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts #bts x reader #bts smut #tae fic #tae smut #tae fluff #tae drabble #tae x reader #taehyung drabble

[randomficrecss]

Klance Fic Rec

been so busy guys but trying to catch up i promise!!

I dreamed you were a cosmonaut (of the space between our chairs) by iybms

T | 11K | 1/1 | getting together, flirting, kissing, near death experiences, mutual pining, canon compliant

"You know, you can be a pretty hard guy to find," Lance says, and his steps end at Keith's side, overlooking Orla'an canyon.

"Funny you always say that," Keith remarks, "since you find me, regardless. And," he finally glances at Lance, "…always wearing something weird."

---

Lance comes to Keith when he needs someone to pry him open.

Nameless by AveryScribbles

E | 97.8K | 22/22 | AU college, vampires, soulmates, major character injury, angst with a happy ending, blood drinking, slowburn

Lance McClain was not pale. He enjoyed the sun as much as any other, and though he was often run down or fatigued, this was due to his amounting college work, not his need to sleep upside down. He was everything a vampire wasn't. Oh, except for his constant cravings for blood, and the name in cursive imprinted on his wrist.

Since the name had appeared on Lance's thirteenth birthday, he'd been desperately waiting for the day he'd finally meet his soulmate. And then it finally arrives, delivering a boy that causes everything Lance had fantasized to come crashing down around him. Not only is his mate a human, but he's the kind of human that despises vampires. A hunter named Keith.

But matters of the heart aren't the only thing standing in Lance's way, for a much greater enemy is on the horizon, posing a threat not only to Lance and his family, but to Keith, too. The nameless are coming for them, and soon.

just come to me once by laallomri (absolute fav fic ever)

T | 94.5K | 3/3 | fluff, angst, pining, canon typical violence, post season 6

Lance’s smile widens. He leans forward, and the prickling in Keith’s chest gives way to butterflies, fluttering wildly in his stomach, and oh wow has Lance always had this many freckles, has he always had eyelashes that long, has he—

Lance pokes his cheek, right over the Galra mark. Keith blinks.

“I can’t believe you and your mom have matching face tattoos now,” he says, and it’s so fucking dumb, but it’s exactly the kind of dumb thing Keith has longed to hear, and before he knows what he’s doing he’s surging forward, almost knocking Lance back against Red’s paw, and throwing his arms around him.

In which Keith lives on a space whale, goes on a road trip, and (eventually) gets a boyfriend.

Like the Night Falling by iybms

E | 51.9K | 1/1 | rivals to friends to lovers, slow burn, astrophysics, sexual content

Keith reluctantly takes a lead role in an outreach program that forces him outside his comfort zone of solitary work. It would be a lot easier if he and his partner in the endeavor had anything in common.

Catch Feels, Not Covid-19 by Jenanigans1207

G | 20.2K | 7/7 | quarantine AU, covid 19, falling in love, confessions, artist keith

“Well, there’s really only one option, then.” Lance says as he steps further into the room. At least he looks equally as uncomfortable as Keith feels. At least he seems to know he’s broken their boundaries.

“Really?” Keith grinds out, but his anger is deflating. The stress of the situation is starting to wear on him and he just wants it to be over. “Because as far as I can tell, there are no options.”

“You’ll just have to come home with me.” Lance says and Keith balks. He physically feels the color drain from his face as he whips his head around to meet Lance’s blue eyes. He doesn’t even get the incredulous question off of his tongue before Lance is rushing on to explain. “My family visits Cuba every year at this time and since they closed the borders, they’re stuck there until this is over. So my home is completely empty which means there will be tons of room for you, too! And it’s only a couple of hours away, so we won’t risk getting caught anywhere in the middle. And it’s free.”

-- Or:

The coronavirus shuts down Keith and Lance's college and Keith has no choice but to go into quarantine with Lance.

At the Bottom of the Ramp by iybms

T | 12.2K | 1/1 | aggressive rollerblading, strong language, minor violence, getting together, rivals to friends to lovers

Lance is usually the first person to befriend new rollerbladers at the skatepark; it's a small community, and he's a friendly guy.

But not this time. This new guy looks the epitome of edgy and unapproachable, and he's stealing all of Shiro's attention.

#keith kogane #lance mcclain #klance #klance fic #fanfiction #fan fic rec #fic rec #klance fic rec #voltron #voltron legendary defender

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 [𝐁𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐘 𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐇]

PAIRINGS —  Bobby Nash x GN!Reader

SUMMARY — complicating their situationship

WARNINGS — sickness (COVID), fever, swearing, mentions of sex

NOTE —This one’s been in the drafts for a while so I’m very happy it’s getting the chance to see the light of day also sorry it took me a few days to post I hated the ending so I rewrote it lmao

For most people the global pandemic meant working from home and staying away from everyone and everything, trying not to get sick. But as a frontline worker and a first responder, that was never really an option for you. For you and the rest of the 118 it meant rapid tests every morning, face coverings at all times, and setting an example for everyone else. 

To top off the complicated situation, over the time of your increased closed quarters at work you had developed somewhat of a situationship with your boss. The rest of your colleagues were unaware (thankfully) and you hoped through everything that would be the one part of your life that remained casual and uncomplicated. And it was until one fateful morning in May 2020. 

“Here’s your test,” you passed a box over to Bobby while he walked up to the kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in hand. 

“And here’s your tea.” 

“Honestly, I’m not even convinced these work,” you noted while pouring the buffer fluid into the small tube. “I have never seen a positive COVID test, how are we supposed to know if these are the real deal?” 

“Hopefully we’ll never have to see a positive one,” Bobby said.

You drank your tea and coffee and prepared something for breakfast while waiting for the time to be up so you could make sure you weren’t sick before you went in for work. 

“Uh, Bobby…” 

You looked down at your test while Bobby came and glanced over your shoulder. You looked back at each other with wide eyes. 

“You can’t go to work,” he pointed to you when the realization dawned on him. “Wait, I can’t go to work. What are we going to tell them?” 

“It’s fine we’ll just call separately, I’ll tell them I got sick you say that you went out to get groceries and got exposed, no big deal.” 

“And you can’t go out so I guess you’ll just isolate here?” 

“Oh God, this is going to end badly, I can feel it,” you pinched the bridge of your nose and shook your head. “One step at a time. I’m gonna go call the team.” 

“At least we know the test works,” Bobby called as you walked to his bedroom and you rolled your eyes. 

You both tried your best to deal with the team, Bobby having a bit of a harder time than you considering you called in first to tell everyone you were sick. 

“I think I managed to convince everyone to stay away for a bit,” you said while putting on a mask, Bobby motioned for you to take the package with you and you nodded, thinking it was probably for the best considering he wasn’t sick…yet. 

“Hopefully it’ll be a quick bug, right? Then things can go back to normal.” 

“Yeah,” you agreed. “And are you sure you’re okay with me staying here? I don’t really wanna be a burden and take over your room or anything.” 

“No it’s fine,” he insisted. “You’re already here and I have to be isolated anyways. Plus, it’s always nicer to have someone around when you’re sick right?” 

You just gave him a small smile with your eyes before retreating into his bedroom and closing the door behind you. 

As soon as it was shut, you could hear Bobby begin to clean up, washing the dishes and disinfecting everything with bleach and Lysol to avoid getting sick. You couldn’t blame him, it was an odd situation, maybe even a little awkward, you’d only ever come over after work and most days you left right after breakfast. 

It had started as a casual companionship that just spiralled into something where everything was unsaid. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, only then realizing the clothes you had were not the best for being sick in bed. 

“Hey Bobby,” you called from your room. “Can I borrow a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt or something?”

“Yeah, that should be okay, take whatever you’ll need and when you’re better we’ll just do a load of laundry.” 

“Thank you,” you sighed. “And Bobby?” 

“Mhmm?” 

“I’m sorry…that you got caught up in all this and have to deal with me now…I just-,” 

“Don’t mention it, like I said, no big deal.” 

“Right,” you nodded to yourself. “No big deal.” 

—

Two Days Later…

“Uh Bobby!” you called, your voice sounding congested and followed by a loud bronchial cough. “We’ve got a problem.” 

“What’s the problem?” he asked. 

“Buck wants to bring me food.” 

“And?”

“I’m not at my house, what the hell am I supposed to tell him?” you groaned and flopped back onto the bed. 

“Just call and explain that he shouldn’t risk it and you’ve already made something for lunch and dinner.” 

That part wasn’t a lie, with all the spare time in his hands Bobby was cooking up a storm and you had the finest meals every day, but ate them in an awkward silence across from each other, a door between you. 

“Alright, but if I can’t stop him then we’re going to have to deal with the consequences.” 

Bobby didn’t respond so you picked up your phone and called Buck’s cell waiting for him to pick up. 

“Hey, how’s Miss Rona?” he chuckled when he picked up on the other line. 

“Not funny, Buckley,” you grumbled. “Look, even you can hear it, I sound terrible. I don't want you to risk it, Buck, don’t bring me food.” 

“Come on, I’ll be safe! I’ll drop it off at your door and then we can talk on the phone while you eat so you aren’t alone.” 

“No Buck,” you sighed. “I already made food for lunch and dinner, just stay as far away from my apartment as you can ok?” 

“Ok, if you insist, but don’t come crying to me for McDonalds when you get sick of chicken noodle soup.” he chuckled. 

“I won’t don’t worry,” you coughed. “Jesus, I gotta take some more Buckley’s, and please send my regards to whichever family member of yours made such a gag worthy cough syrup,” 

“Not related, but it tastes awful and it works.” 

“I hate how much I love that slogan,” you laughed a little, but it only sent you back into a coughing fit. “Alright, really I gotta go, tell everyone I say hi and that I’m not dead yet, okay?” 

“Will do. You take care of yourself.” 

“Thanks Buck, bye,” you hung up the phone and did exactly what you said you would. Poured yourself some cough syrup and gagged as soon as it went down your throat. 

“You okay in there?” Bobby knocked on the door. 

“Yeah, just the cough syrup,” you moaned a little and rubbed your head. 

“You sure everything’s okay?” he pressed. 

“I just…” you hesitated. “I feel like shit.” 

“On a scale of 1-10 how shitty?” he asked. 

You were silent for a moment before shrugging your shoulders and saying seven. 

“I don’t think there’s much you can do, I have a whole army of medication here, I just have to be careful and rest.” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, but his tone made him seem unconvinced. 

You tried to lay down and get some rest and what felt like minutes later you discovered had actually been closer to sixteen hours and it was the next day and you felt ten times worse than the day before. 

You looked down at the sheets that were soaked with sweat and when you tried to move your whole body ached like you had just run a 40K with zero training. 

You tried to speak, but your throat was dry so you reached for the water first, chugging it before knocking on the wall, hoping Bobby was awake. 

“Everything alright in there?” you could hear him get up and ask. 

“I-I think I have a fever,” you said wearily. “Can…C-Could you come check?” 

“Yeah of course, just let me grab a thermometer and a mask.” 

Bobby was back a few moments later and opened the door to quite the sight. 

“Bet you can’t even believe you slept with me huh,” you tried to tease to lighten the situation, but you could see Bobby had become so zeroed in on your state that it was no use. 

He quickly felt the back of your forehead with his hand before confirming his suspicions with the thermometer. 

“Wow, you’re burning up,” his hand cradled your cheek for a moment, feeling the heat radiate off your sticky and sweaty skin. “Let me go get you some Tylenol okay, and maybe an ice pack too. I’m not leaving you here by yourself.” 

“But what about-,” 

“I need to make sure you don’t take a turn for the worse. I don’t want to have to take you to the hospital,” 

You nodded and quieted yourself, watching as he went to grab you some more medication and that ice pack. 

The cold touch felt amazing against your skin, but it wasn’t long before you were shivering from the fever and wanted to huddle underneath the blankets. 

“Y-You know, I haven’t b-been sick since before I w-was in the department,” you told Bobby. “S-Still sucks a-as bad as I remember.” 

“I can imagine,” he brushed some hair out of your eyes. “If you can, you should try and get some sleep, it might make things a little better.” 

You wanted to listen to his advice, but as much as you tried you could not fall asleep. Your fever continued to get worse, but not bad enough to merit taking you to the ER. 

All the while, Bobby only left your side to bring you more food or something to drink. You wished he would stay far away from you, it was better he didn’t get what you had, but he seemed adamant on staying. 

It was things like this that made it hard for you to separate what you had from a real relationship, which it wasn’t. 

It was just an arrangement where you would meet from time to time and sleep together. 

Sometimes you just wished you could be out with it, ask him out on a real date and go out for dinner because if you were being honest, a couple weeks into whatever it was you were doing, you had already realized you wanted more, but as usual you were too shy to speak up about it. 

“Bobby, c-c-,” you were cut off by another coughing fit, at least you were wearing a mask, it was the least you could do to assure he didn’t get sick. “Sorry, can you pass me one of the cough drops?” 

“Of course, but maybe you should eat a bit more first,” he suggested. “Let me help you sit up.” 

He wrapped an arm around your back and placed you into a seated position before grabbing the bowl of soup for you. 

“Bobby, I think I’m still well enough to feed myself,” you chuckled. 

“It’s not everyday you get pampered, just eat the soup,” he encouraged and you didn’t have the energy to give in. 

You ate about half the bowl before you got full (in your defence it was a pretty big bowl) and Bobby passed you the cough drop to help continue to soothe your throat as the soup had done. 

“Hey, since I’ve already been with you in here, why don’t you come out to the living room and watch some TV with me. It’ll be a nice break from sleeping, trust me.”

“Sure, why not,” you pushed yourself up from the bed and with a little help from Bobby, walked to the living room and took a seat on the couch. 

You both agreed on some random TV show you both hadn’t seen, but by episode three you were knocked out cold. 

Bobby left you like that for a while, thinking it would be best to let you get as much rest as you could, but when you started to toss and turn and mumble things under your breath he had a feeling your fever was coming back and getting even worse. 

“Hey, I think we should get you back in the bedroom where the Tylenol is,” he gently shook you awake, but the fever was making you a little delirious. 

“Will you stay with me?” you mumbled. “Please?” 

“Sure if that’s what you want,” he nodded, helping you up and letting you lean on him while you walked back to the room. 

“Bobby,” you said groggily as you sat down on the bed. “Why aren’t we dating?” 

Bobby certainly wasn’t expecting that kind of question to come from you, but you had a fever, you were barely controlling the temperature of your body, how could you control what you said. 

“Well, I think when whatever this is started we didn’t really think about it…did we.”

You sighed and shook your head. 

“I just think we’d make a good couple,” you said shyly. “Cause I like you, like really like you, and when you do stuff like give me soup and sit with me when I feel like seven shits out of ten shits, it’s just hard.” 

While listening to you, Bobby had opened up the Tylenol and placed two in his hand which he was now handing to you with a glass of water. 

“I know,” he responded. “We can talk about it more when you’re better, how’s that?” 

You agreed and took the medication after which he helped you lay down on the bed. He glanced at you for a moment before lowering his mask and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

“If it makes it any better, I was already yours from the start.” 

He placed his mask back over his mouth and nose before sitting next to you, his back against the headrest. 

You reached for his hand and he took it, holding it thinking if he squeezed too tight he might break you. 

He really hoped you would get better soon. 

—

Bobby didn’t want to bring up what you had said when you were feverish, fearful that you had said it while hazy from the sickness. He didn’t want to put any pressure on you to have a discussion while you were still recovering, so he thought unless you brought it up he’d wait for you to test negative. 

In the meantime over the next few days as you slowly came out of the slump of fevers and your cough died down, you fell into an easy rhythm of things together. It was simple things, like FaceTiming while eating meals or chatting across from the door, but it felt safe and familiar, like you’d been doing it forever. 

“Time for your test,” Bobby said, coming into the room with a mask and handing you the rapid test. It was just over a week and a half of being sick and even then you’d have to wait at least another week minimum to go back to work. Bobby had been planning on doing the same either way since he was constantly exposed to you. “I already took mine in the kitchen, I'm still negative.”

“Thank goodness. I'm kind of surprised though, we’ve been cautious but not like lock me in the room cautious,” you said. “How did you not get sick?”

“Just the Nash immune system,” he shrugged. “Let me know what the verdict is.”

You nodded your head and took off your mask once he left and began the process of testing yourself. 

On cue, you sneezed when swabbing your nose and Bobby chuckled like he always did.

“Is there like a button or something in my nose that just makes me sneeze every single time I put this up there?” you asked and Bobby laughed. “Hey don’t laugh! One time I sneezed before I could pull it out and I think I poked my brain.”

That just made him laugh harder and you couldn’t help but smile as you swirled the buffer fluid and placed three drops on the rapid test. 

After the agonizing fifteen minutes Bobby waited anxiously for the answer, but when you stepped out of the room without a mask and the test in your hands that spoke for you. 

“It’s negative,” you almost sounded disbelieving. “I-Wow it’s actually negative.”

“Maybe you should take one more just to confirm,” Bobby suggested and you agreed, only to have the second test confirm your suspicions. 

“This is great!” you grinned. “We can get this place cleaned up, relax and rest for one more week and then we’re back at it.”

You and Bobby high-fived and started by cleaning up the room you were staying in. A load of laundry hopefully got rid of any lingering sickness from your clothes and the sheets, a wipe down and vacuum took care of the other surfaces. 

Once the sheets were out of the wash, you and Bobby began to put them back on the bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he was going to bring up the conversation he’d promised he’d have with you, but every time there was an opening it didn’t feel right to say anything. 

Instead he decided it would be best to take the next week in isolation in stride and say something when the time felt right, not when you were trapped under the same roof. 

When the day came when you were supposed to head back out to work you could both say with a certainty that you were done with being cooped up in the house and were ready to get down to business. 

Chimney was more than happy to give up his responsibilities as acting fire Captain and as Hen so articulately put it, balance had been restored in the universe. 

“You know it was really weird not having you around,” Buck told you when you sat for lunch together, distances slightly due to the restrictions. 

“Awe so you missed me,” you made a cute squishing motion with your hands and Buck rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah sure, I missed you the same way I miss Maddie for five minutes then she starts hovering and babying me and then I don’t miss her so much anymore.”

“Buck, be nice,” Bobby gave him a warning look. 

“What come on, it's the truth, you’re like my sibling, it’s a compliment,” he insisted. 

“I know it was but the words by themselves really didn’t sound like it,” you chuckled. “Don’t worry Bobby, if he knows what’s good for him he’ll stay on my good side.”

“And who’s on your bad side?” Chimney asked, coming to join you with his food. 

“Currently just Eddie because he used the last of my sweetened condensed milk.” 

“You didn’t label the milk, how was I supposed to know it wasn’t for grabs?”

“Eddie, you know I use it in my coffee when I need an extra kick in the morning, don’t make excuses,” you playfully rolled your eyes. “Anyways, Buck’s always on thin ice, you and Hen are safe,” you noted. 

“What about Bobby?” Hen asked. 

“Hmm,” you sent Bobby a knowing look and he tried to hide the smile that came across his face, after he spent two weeks taking care of you he was on a side the others didn’t even know existed. “Yeah, he’s a few steps above you and Chim,” you said truthfully. “No offence, but you guys don’t make me desserts every week.”

“Fair enough,” Hen agreed. 

After you all finished eating you and Bobby cleared up the dishes so Eddie and Hen could wash them and he quietly asked if you could meet him in his office to talk. 

You nodded your head, unaware of what was to come of it, but when the door closed behind you and you saw Bobby sitting at the edge of his desk with his arms crossed you knew something was up. 

“Is it really just because of the desserts?” he asked. 

“I’m sorry what?”

“Why I’m a few steps above Hen and Chim,” he clarified. 

“I mean yeah,” you nodded slowly. “Bobby, what are you trying to get at?”

He sighed and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. 

“When you were sick,” he started. “Like very feverish, to the point I was almost going to bring you to the hospital, you said something to me. I promised we’d talk about it when you were better, it's just I could never seem to find a good time.” 

“What did I say?” you asked, unable to remember this conversation. 

“Something along the lines of why aren’t we dating. Actually dating, not just sleeping with each other every week.”

“I-I said that?” you frowned and he nodded, but he shifted slightly again, closing himself off to you and you tried to amend what you had said to make sure it didn’t sound like you hadn’t meant it. “I mean I just… I can’t remember.”

He nodded, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, um…what would you have said?” you asked. “If I asked you that now.”

He stayed silent before he eventually shrugged his shoulders, “Honestly, I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just think that if things go on they’re going to get more complicated. I think we should know where we stand.”

“And where do you stand, Bobby?” you asked, coming closer. “Am I on your good side? Or your bad side?”

You reached out your hand to take his and after running his thumb across your knuckles and giving your hand a light squeeze he said,

“You’ve always been on my good side,” he smiled. “And I know I’m a bit rusty, but I’d like to take you out on a date. If that’s something you’re up for.”

“Yeah, I think I’d be up for that,” you agreed and closed the gap between you even more, resting a hand on Bobby’s cheek. “I don’t think I ever thanked you for taking care of me.”

“It’s okay, good practice in case you ever get sick again,” he chuckled. 

“I’m glad to know you’d be willing to take care of me again,” you smiled, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I hope that helps a little with the thank you.”

“Maybe just one more,” he said before meeting your lips again just as the door opened and Buck said, 

“Hey Cap, I was just- WOAH,” he exclaimed. “You two?! I-How? Why?! What?!”

You and Bobby quickly pushed yourselves apart as Buck stared at you wide eyed while he was joined by his coworkers. 

Bobby’s face was very red and you couldn’t look up from your feet. 

“What happened?” Eddie asked once he ran into the room. 

“They were kissing,” Buck said, like he couldn’t understand how that would ever be a possibility. You supposed in Buck’s eyes you were both perpetually single forever. 

“What?” Hen asked with a chuckle. “When did this happen?” 

“Um a couple months back,” Bobby said. “Do we really need to talk about this?”

“Yes, we really do,” Chimney nodded. 

“You guys,” you looked up and saw they wouldn’t let go so you looked at Bobby to tell him you’d take the hit. “Look, this started a little while after everything got shut down. We both live alone and  it was hard not being able to see people so since we were in the same bubble we just…started to casually see each other,” you settled on. 

“And it’s still casual?” Buck asked. 

You pressed your lips in a thin line and Bobby shook his head. 

“No, I think I’d say it’s getting serious.”

“It’s about damn time,” Hen grinned. “I have been rooting for you two ever since you got stuck in that elevator together.”

“Really?” you chuckled. 

“Yeah, and plus now Chimney owes me five bucks.”

“Deals a deal,” Chimney groaned and placed the bill in his friend’s hand. 

“So when you got sick?” Eddie asked. 

“I was at Bobby’s, that’s why we both couldn’t come in and why you couldn't drop food off for me,” you explained. 

“Hey, why don’t we leave these two lovebirds alone,” Hen suggested. “I think you interrupted something, Buck.”

She dragged the team out of Bobby’s office and closed the door only for you and Bobby to look at each other and laugh. 

“At least we don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

“Yeah, but sneaking around was kind of fun,” you admitted. “But I’m glad they know. It just makes it more real.”

You held his hand and he gave it a squeeze. 

“I should thank your fever,” he said. “I don’t think I would have ever had the courage to bring this up if it wasn’t for that.”

“Who would have thought, a small positive in a global pandemic,” you chuckled and leaned into his side. And as odd as it was to say, you were both thankful for the isolation.

#bobby nash #bobby nash x reader #bobby nash x you #bobby nash x y/n #bobby nash fanfiction #bobby nash fanfic #bobby nash fic #bobby nash fluff #bobby nash angst #bobby nash hurt comfort #bobby nash one shot #bobby nash imagine #911 #911 fox #911 fanfiction #911 fanfic #911 fic #911 reader insert #bobby nash reader insert #911 fox fanfic #911 fox fanfiction #911reader

[alakeeffectgirl]

cruisequarries PART TWO

PART ONE What did we get up to yesterday? 2018? Okay. I will put everything behind a spoiler cut again (there are more pictures/a video today).

Actually, let's rewind just a little, for some Fallout premiere pictures just because.

Paris, July 12th:

London, July 13th:

Seoul, July 16th (according to the designer's website, the hanbok Heather is wearing was designed as a wedding dress, mmhmm)...

I love this picture because they're making those faces at Chris. Here's the bit of Tom making Heather cry in Tokyo:

I highly recommend listening to Tom & Chris commentary track on Fallout, which starts with McQ introducing himself as the writer/director and then Tom introducing himself - as McQ's friend. After the Fallout press tour wraps up, work starts in earnest on Top Gun: Maverick, which Tom and McQ have been discussing - idly, on McQ's part - for years now. "Our relationship is one long conversation about movies," indeed.

While TGM is filming, pre-production is also happening on MI:DR, which McQ has signed on to direct. (These two are usually juggling at least two projects at a time, and really it's probably more like five projects at a time.)

In January of 2019, they're all back in LA so Tom and McQ can pick up some awards.

The McQuarries also go to a premiere and look fantastic (I love McQ's suit):

Tom and McQ go to Ukraine to scout Dead Reckoning locations later in 2019, meet President Zelenskyy, and McQ gets to put his arm around Tom for once instead of their usual other way around.

OH NO I ALMOST FORGOT - at the end of 2019, Tom took the whole McQ clan with him to Las Vegas to see Lady Gaga and ask her to write the TGM song. [cries in 'that's his family']

Production ramps up on DR - and then unfortunately, as we all know, COVID. Most of the cast and crew were in Venice when everything shut down, but Tom hadn't arrived yet.

Production resumes in Rome in October (their production struggles/trying to keep everyone employed/Tom rightfully yelling at people to follow protocols because a lot of jobs depend on them is all well documented), and then moves to Venice. Heather and the dogs are also part of this traveling band.

This isn't six feet apart, dudes...

Production breaks for the holidays, and resumes in Abi Dhabi for the airport/desert sequences, and also one of my favorite pictures of Tom and Heather, just for her expression.

Train sequence filming in Yorkshire in April of 2021, that's Heather in the blue coat:

DR production then breaks for a bit over the summer so Tom can take all his friends to Wimbledon, go to several car things, and make McQ watch football (the soccer version).

DR filming resumes in the fall/winter. Heather goes with to South Africa and they rent out what is basically an adults-only hotel (and save it from having to close!), for part of their stay. I love this picture because Gypsy looks so long-suffering:

OKAY IT'S 2022 NOW, time for the Top Gun: Maverick premiere tour to start - finally! (Do any of these people SLEEP? No. I think it's well-documented that Tom Cruise does not sleep, which is part of what makes him Tom Cruise, but also this means he calls McQ at two in the morning to talk about movies. There's a podcast somewhere where McQ says he thinks Tom might sleep "between the 2:05 email and the 2:40 email", or something along those lines.) (After getting back from South Africa, there was a bunch of test screening stuff for TGM, which is why there are those parking garage pictures. Wouldn't the movie be done, you'd think, since it was supposed to be out in 2020? COVID gave them a reason to tinker with it even more.) The San Diego premiere on the USS MIdway (all the McQs were there, but there aren't any good pictures):

Then Tom went to Mexico, and McQ went home to London for a few days before Tom returned, and they went to the Royal Windsor horse show together.

THEN EVERYONE WENT TO CANNES. Sorry I have just a shitty screencap with a watermark here but alas tumblr only lets you put one video per post. Tom and McQ stopped to get their picture taken en route to the actual photocall and Tom made Heather come back and be in the pictures with them. There is video here.

Cannes, of course, was amazing. I have garbage homemade gifs but they're too big for tumblr (also they're garbage) but all the Cannes red carpet footage is available on YouTube, here and here. (Worth it for Heather, tbh.)

They went straight from Cannes - on Tom's helicopter - back to London for the Royal premiere. Where the McQuarries looked amazing and McQ wore his McQ shoes.

And the after party, because heaven forbid they not all ride in the same car:

And then the McQuarries got a slight break, while Tom went to do more TGM press. But he was back in London by the end of June, and they went on what can only be described as a string of dates. First, they went to the Rolling Stones concert at Hyde Park.

McQ was on Tom's other side, but he's only visible in video (the Daily Mail might be garbage but they do come through with the media).

Then Tom and Heather went to The Eagles show at Hyde Park:

And they all went to see Adele - also at Hyde Park. (The woman in the pink sweater is Tom's CAA agent Maha Dakhil Jackson - I found the picture where you can see Heather over Tom's shoulder.)

Then for Tom's birthday, they went to the F1 British Grand Prix (with some other TGM folks, but they aren't three steps behind Tom like the McQuarries are).

Oh no, we're not done. Tom takes Heather to Wimbledon, where she holds his sunglasses (not visible in this picture).

McQ did not go with, as he was recording a Light the Fuse podcast - which he surprise-dialled in a bunch of DR folks - and his final surprise was Tom. Who was still at Wimbledon with Heather. McQ calls Heather to get Tom, and Heather plays dumb and is like, "oh I don't know where he is, did you try calling him?" and Chris says he already told the podcast guys that they were together. So Tom does his segment from the car he's in with Heather, and his part is only supposed to be like ten minutes but he talks for about forty-five and this includes telling the world they basically all live together. Then they went out to dinner!

And the next day they all went to Wimbledon with Maha and her husband.

I'm stopping here because this is already SO LONG and 2023 is going to be wild just by itself! PART THREE

#cruisequarries

[bastetwastaken]

For the request thing, how about 12. Gift giving with casteshipping if you have the time?

Hey friend! Thanks for the ask ^.^

I ended up catching Covid and have spent a lot of time suffering, but I'm getting back around to writing things now <3 Sorry it's so late, and short, but my brain is still very foggy.

I hope you enjoy the silly sweet thing <3 <3

..........

It was late morning when he finally woke up to an empty bed. 

The lack of warmth from the other person wasn’t a surprise to him by now though, Atem was an early riser, he always had been. 

For him though, the best time of day for him to work was late afternoon and well into the evening, when Ra’s light had faded from the world and he could move under Khonsu’s less harsh gaze. 

He stretched out and listened to the sounds of Atem moving around in their small apartment. Rubbing his hands quickly over his face he pushed himself out of the bed, he really should make an effort to start getting up earlier…especially today.  

He left the bedroom and walked down the short hall toward the main room where he could see the soft glow of the lights Atem had insisted on putting on a tree which he had also insisted on bringing into their home.

“Morning.” He said as he shuffled into the room, smiling when Atem looked up from the book he was reading and laughed. 

“Just.” Atem teased. 

“Shut up.” He laughed. 

Atem set his book to the side then stood up from the sofa, holding a hand out to him which he walked closer and took, pulling Atem toward him just to see the blush on Atems cheeks when he fell against his bare chest. 

“I’m glad you’re awake.” Atem said softly. 

“Hmm, can’t be without me?” He teased, hands sliding down Atems back over the soft jumper he was wearing. 

“Maybe I can’t.” Atem said with a smile. “But no, the reason I was hoping you’d wake soon is under the tree.” 

He frowned and looked to the side, spotting a small wrapped box sitting under the decorated tree. 

“What?” He asked. 

Atem laughed and moved away from him, taking his hand and pulling him down to kneel on the floor with him. He watched as Atem picked up the box and held it out to him, a golden bow stood out against the dark blue paper. 

“I…I bought you something.” Atem said, chewing his lip nervously. “I know all of this is still new to us, but I wanted to follow tradition at least a little.” 

He looked at the gift then up at Atem, confused as to why he felt the need to buy him something, and also a little guilty because he hadn’t thought of buying Atem anything at all…they’d both worked so hard to get to where they were right now and here he was, likely ruining things. 

“I, um, didn’t get you anything.” He said quietly. “I didn’t know it was something we’d bother with.” 

Atem smiled at him and shook his head, setting the neatly wrapped gift to the side and shuffling closer. Their knees pressed together, a smile worked its way onto his face without his permission when Atems hand cupped his cheek. 

“You’ve already given me everything I want.” Atem said, leaning closer to him, their noses brushed as he spoke softly. “Being here, just having this life with you…is the best gift I’ve ever received.” 

He stared blankly at Atem for a moment then scoffed. 

“Is this an attempt on my life?” He asked. “Are you trying to kill me with kindness?” 

“Shut up.” Atem said with a soft laugh before pressing their lips together. 

He should be used to kissing Atem by now, but he still found himself shocked by how…casual they could be with one another now. Now Atem no longer held his status and he was no longer tainted by a reputation he never really truly wanted. 

Sighing happily into the kiss, he moved forward, a hand in Atems hair as he pushed him back until he was laying on the soft rug. His lips left Atems for a moment and he smirked playfully. 

“I could give you more gifts.” He said, brushing his lips against Atems again. 

“You could.” Atem said before pulling him into another slow kiss. 

#casteshipping #atem #bakura #silly sweet and romantic #ygo dm #fanfiction

[system-of-a-feather]

(Disclaimer: this post was written in two parts, the first half was done the day before but not posted cause I didnt feel it was a complete thought, the second half was added after. I did not edit or touch the first half as I like to keep space for the thoughts of myself as they were; i also have passive chronic amnesia so Im not 100% sure if everything is on the same page; regardless that is just context)

Honestly, I think the thing that is important to keep in mind when interacting with syscourse - or specifically for us cause the only one we really care about is the tulpa discourse - is that you are never going to force or change anyone's mind who is so set that they are sitting on tumblr and pulling the dumbest arguments out of their ass to support their claims and I do think those that spend their time arguing with @/sophieinwonderland and @/cambriancrew - while honestly doing the dirty work no one wants to do by balancing out their bullshit posting so mad respect - are largely wasting their time if they do ever think that a mind will be changed.

The only reason to ever engage or talk about the stuff they (and the clique that actually buys into those arguments) talk about is solely to make an example out of how incredibly deep their interalized racism and just disregard for POC goes and honestly looking at them as anything other than a stubborn white person is putting more emotional energy than its worth.

Because genuinely, in a weird way and me doing what XIV calls "The Riku Thing" of looking at a really negative, annoying, and/or harmful thing and finding the bright side silverlining to it, I do kind of appreciate how astonishingly White TM they are because their unapologetic and loud nature makes a really big spectacle for a lot of people who otherwise would not understand how bad certain issues are look and go "what the fuck" and in its own way, it brings good publicity to the issues AAPI and eastern cultures go through in a western and white predominant area.

AAPI issues often go under the radar and are disregarded due to a number of reasons, but honestly? This is the most I've ever seen people actually talk about how white people take advantage of eastern and Asian cultures (relative to the size of the community in question) save for the brief blip of when Stop Asian Hate got loud during COVID where sinophobia blasted up and a bit surrounding Cyberpunk as a genre when Cyberpunk 2077 came out.

In that regard, I'm kinda glad they are so loudly racist and White TM about AAPI cultures. It makes for good publicity and awareness by being the example of just the Usual Bullshit and it starts better conversations. I'd honestly prefer a loud bigot to a quiet insidious one cause the loud ones at least can serve part of a message and be ignored.

Anyhow, this is all just to say that bigots will be bigots and you can argue with them all you want and call them truthful statements like "bigots" and "racist" but thats about all you can do to really control their behavior. Those balancing out their bullshit arguments, mad props - I could never cause that shit is too toxic and too much of an investment, but it is respectable work. (insert "it aint much but its honest work" meme at yall)

---(cut between original thoughts and the added bit)---

That said, I'll just say it as the fact that it is, those two and those that follow their rhetoric do not care at all about AAPI individuals and are just racist. We don't have to debate it and it's honestly not up for debate and while we could put our energy to trying to tear down their following and make them shut up, in a world where the KKK still exists and thrives, its an unlikely and futile of a goal to try ti achieve.

Instead its best imo to treat them like the public case study of white and western abuses to AAPI culture, particularly since time and time again they redisplay some of the most classic and frequently used techniques white and western individuals do to try to excuse their shit.

If you wouldn't give a person arguing with any other loud and proud bigot, its best to just accept that bigots be bigots and rather than banging your head against a wall, put it up for display on the museum wall as a means of education and awareness.

Theres no point in talking to bigots about how they are bigotted. There is, however, a point to displaying it for those less effected and usually not given the opportunity to sed it in full get a much closer look at some of the shit we deal with

I like to think that while a lot of white and western people suck, that a lot of them genuinely are trying their best with the limited awareness, access, and understanding that they have.

I dont feel as though I would be correct calling them and bigots a "small minority", but I'd like to think they aren't the majority and I honestly appreciate those willing to learn and better understand and so ya know? Whats a better way to explain it than with a live dancing monkey that loudly and proudly displays the behaviors in question for all to see.

Anyhow, I digress. Take this as you will. I am just throwing some insight and personal thoughts about specific users in hopes that some people who might be overly stressed about it might find a little more peace moderating the topic

#alter: riku #syscourse #syscourse tw #discourse #discourse tw #sophiecourse #racism #racism tw #riku rambles #anti-tulpa #tulpa tw #anti-tulpa terminology

[mellisasthings]

Let’s talk about BPD and favourite Person(FP).

Having BPD and having an FP is toture. Everything the person that your BPD choses as an FP is magnified. Your entire personality is based off their moods, their likes and dislikes and even how they act and dress. It’s a lonely place when you feel like you can’t control it.

I remember my first Favourite Person. I couldn’t go a day without talking to her, without seeing her at least and if I didn’t get to see her I’d have a anxiety attack and go into my shell because I couldn’t see her or talk to her. I felt so out of control at that time because, I thought there was something wrong with me. Everyone around me thought I was obsessed with her or that I had a huge crush on her. When that wasn’t the case at all. My brain just worked differently and I couldn’t stop thinking about her daily. I’d get excited to her and talk to her, if she gave me any attention I was so happy and when she didn’t give me attention I was incredibly upset and I’d lash out at her. I put her above everyone else in my life. And eventually when she started to draw boundaries with me, I got extremely angry with her and would push those boundaries all the time. I did things I regret to try to get her attention, which I promised myself after I realized what was going on about a year or so later I’d never do those things ever again.

Honestly to this day, everything I did still haunts me. It still takes a toll on me. I feel heaviness everytime I think about it or talk to her. I wish I could go back and change what I had done but I can’t do that. So I just try to respect her now and her boundaries even though it’s hard. I still view her as someone who uses to be my favourite person. I wish I didn’t but I do.

Fast forward to 2019. I met a new person and she became my FP shortly after I told her my biggest secret that I never talked about before. She knew she became my favourite person and I hated that she knew. We had a good relationship even when I’d lash out at her or shut down when she didn’t give me attention, she still didn’t leave me. I miss her a lot. She was by far one of the best FP’s I ever had. There’s so much I want to tell her now and I still think she’s my FP even though she moved on and got a new job. I still feel upset about losing the only good person who understood me and my mental health. During COVID we got super close and we talked every single day. She would be there for emotionally and I could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge me. She was someone I looked up to and came to for everything, emotional support, a laugh, a meme, even a hug even though I couldn’t physically get one I felt like she gave me a hug everytime I we talked. There were alot of days where I only wanted to speak to her and near the end of our relationship, she finally started to understand why I only came to her and not other people for the support I needed. My FP even would stay up so late to make sure I was okay no matter what. It felt like she was my best friend and I adored her. Anytime I got a message from her I’d get so excited and be so happy that she finally messaged me back. I felt like I was on top of the world when she’d talk to me. The ending of this relationship was so different than my old FP. She gave me a chance to say everything I needed to say and she allowed me to talk about all my feelings even the angry ones. She took everything I threw at her. She definitely didn’t deserve the way I treated her sometimes and I recognize that. The thing is I was self aware but I still watched myself lash out at her sometimes. She still look it and still didn’t leave me. I couldn’t believe that no matter what I threw at her she didn’t leave or anything, she allowed me the space to talk it out with her and fix the situation. She was by far the best FP I ever had and I miss her so much. It still hurts to this day that I no longer have her in my life.

This is thing about losing an FP, the grief is so intense that you feel like it’s currently happening. It doesn’t go away till you get a new favourite person. And I don’t have one, only her. I wish everyday I could just message her and tell her everything that’s been happening lately but I don’t want to bother her and reopen any wounds that she has healed. I miss being able to turn to my safe person. Everything I see, any quotes or songs I hear reminds me of her and our relationship and how she’s okay and I’m still not. See what I mean by this feels like it’s all happening again? That’s why it’s so hard for someone with BPD to lose someone their so close with. The pain never truly goes away.

#bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd fp #bpd stuff #bpd favorite person #my experiences

[the-berf]

Despite a lot of people acting like the pandemic was over, Syd liked to keep an eye on the statiatics. Cases were rising again but nobody seemed to care anymore. Unfortunately, not caring had never made anyone immune and no miracle was happening at The Bear. Tina called in sick first, voice hoarse and coughing. By the time Syd was laid out with it, half the team was back while the other half were on the way out. The only person who soldiered on was Carmy.

A week later Syd was back, she had been lucky and got over it with relatively minimal problems, unlike poor Marcus who was still coughing nearly three weeks later. Going back into the familiar kitchen, Syd didn't know what to expect. It sure wasn't Richie looking at her with something akin to relief. For a moment she was confused, then she heard a disgusting, wet cough from the direction of the office. When Richie rubbed his fist in a circle over his heart, Syd knew she was about to walk into the stuff of nightmares.

In a way she wasn't wrong. Carmy was pale, sweaty and hunched over the table, head in both hands.

"Carmy?"

The response was measured and slow at Carmy turned to look at her. Fever glazed eyes seemed to glimmer with relief.

"Welcome back, chef." Only, the words were more rasped and Carmy was obviously battling a cough.

Not stepping any closer, Syd watched him. "Shouldn't you rest at home."

"Can't solve allergies with rest, chef."

In her whole life Syd had never heard something so stupid. Before she could argue, Carmy was up and heading for the kitchen. Following him, Syd glanced to Richie who rolled his eyes and shook his head.

As the day went on, Syd kept a close eye on Carmy. He chopped, prepped and diligently plated yet he avoided tasting or even smelling food. Initially Syd thought it was caution over being contagious. She was rapidly proven wrong. Following Carmy out for a break, she watched him light a cigarette and near enough cough up a lung on the first drag.

"Something tells me you regret doing that," Syd chided.

"Fuck off." The grumbling was weak and held no bite. "It's just a cold."

"Not allergies then?"

"Uh, yeah, that. That's what I said."

Eyebrows raises, Syd watched him with disbelief. Surely he wasn't being serious. When it became evident that he wasn't going to continue the conversation, Syd tried a different approach.

"You know there's no shame in being ill and taking time off." The vehement head shake was somewhat difficult to ignore. "Sometimes you just have to suck it up. Covid is a bitch like that."

"Don't have Covid."

"You test?"

Another head shake and a sharp glare. "Drop it already, thank you. It's not that."

"Heard, chef." After a beat Syd added, "Why can't you have it while the rest of the team can?"

It looked like Carmy wasn't going to answer for a minute. Instead he stifled a cough and sat up straighter. "You've seen the articles, so many restaurants shut down. Success didn't matter, Covid wiped them out."

That was something Syd had been worried about too. But Carmy held the place together while she was off. Now, she could return the favour.

"You don't trust me to run the place while you recover? Could take a week if you're lucky." But judging by how he looked, Syd would have put money on two weeks at least.

"It's just a cold. I'll be fine in a day or two."

"And if you're not?"

"I have to be."

Pushing, Syd returned to her earlier question. "Why?"

Standing up, Carmy paced, hand in his hair. "Because then my taste and smell might not come back. Everything we make is just warm texture. I can't even tell if the spices are seared or burned in a pan. And if it's Covid? And they don't come back? I'm fucked. This whole place is fucked. Shit!" He kicked at the wall in frustration before doubling over to cough.

Hesitantly, Syd stood up and walked closer, putting a hand on a too warm back.

"It will come back. I promise. But you need to rest for that to happen. You looked after us, covered for us. Now let us do it for you."

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #sydney #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #sydcarmy #carmy x syd #syd & carmy

[bbgem329]

Things Are Never As They Seem… Chapter Ten

Pairings—Sebastian Stan x Actress!Reader, Sebastian Stan x OFC (PR relationship)

Summary

You and Sebastian Stan have been dating privately for over two years. Everything is perfect until he is coerced into a PR relationship when he signed with a new agency to advance his career. Trouble ensues…

Warnings

MINORS DNI! 18++. Language. Fluff. Angst. Mentions of PR. Seb is an amazing bf. Anthony is a good bro. Mentions of COVID. Did I miss anything?

Series Masterlist

—————

October 12, 2020

Macer:

Waiting for you by the luggage belts.

You stole one last quick glance at the text lighting up your screen before locking your phone and slipping it back in your jacket pocket. It had been awhile since you’d been to the Atlanta Airport and you had absolutely no idea where you were going. If you wanted to remain unseen, you needed to stay focused and be quick because your flight had been delayed numerous times and of course, you just had to land during the busiest time of the day.

You were beyond relieved when Macy offered to fly down and stay with you for a few weeks before shooting began. Blake couldn’t come with you as he usually would because he was still needed for the Witcher and a temporary PA would be appointed on set, so Casey wouldn't be with you either.

You would be alone for most of filming, trapped in a little bubble until Christmas break because of COVID restrictions on set. But hey, at least you would have your best friend for a couple of weeks before complete isolation from the outside world.

You pushed through a group of high school students, praying they didn’t recognize you with the old baseball cap planted on your head, a pair of big ray bands over your eyes, and a mask covering you lower face. They were all downed in matching sweat suits and duffel bags adorning what you assumed was their school logo, most likely a sports team traveling for a tournament or game. Fortunately they were too distracted by a big bald man, who you decided was most likely their coach, trying to wrangle them up and direct them to their flight.

You followed the correctly labeled signs, swerving through and around people with hurried steps and your head down. Tuning out the overhead calls of various flights and the aimless chatter around you, you finally found yourself trailing down a bright hallway to what you hoped would lead you to the luggage carousels. Rounding a corner, you spotted a few people from your flight, including the kind older man you sat next to, standing around Carousel Three.

But before you had a chance to make your way over, a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, drawing you back behind a big light up board, listing the flights for the day.

“Shh.” A deep, husky voice whispered, pressing their chest firmly into your back. “It’s just me.”

You inhaled sharply, heart beating sporadically in your chest as the pair of hands landed on your waist, spinning you around to face them. You kept your eyes squeezed shut behind your sunglasses, terrified that if you opened them, you would wake up from this perfect dream to find the person you hoped to see most in this world wasn’t actually here, standing directly in front of you.

“It’s me.” He said softly, one strong arm circling your waist, anchoring your body to his, as warm fingers brushed tenderly over your mask covered cheek, slipping up to pull the glasses from your face. “It’s me, pretty girl. You can open your eyes.”

A pained whimper slipped from your lips, tears welling up from behind closed eyelids as your hands skimmed up his chest, grasping desperately at the soft fabric of his t-shirt. “Sebastian.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He breathed out, dipping down to brush his covered lips across your forehead as he pulled you tighter into his chest, his familiar, comforting scent and his warmth invading and overwhelming all of your senses. “Don’t cry. Look at me.”

You shook your head, swallowing down the sob of relief attempting to claw its way up your throat. Wet eyelashes fluttered against your cheeks as you slowly, reluctantly did as he asked and opened your eyes.

“Bună iubirea mea.” Sebastian whispered, drawing down his mask to offer you the most breathtaking smile you’d ever seen. “I missed you.”

“Oh my God.” You squeaked out before launching yourself at him, arms wrapped securely over his shoulders and your legs locked around his waist. “How—How are you here?”

“They gave me two weeks to get myself together before I joined them in Prague.” He chuckled softly, pausing briefly to yank down your own mask and peck your lips a few times. “I think they knew I needed to see you to feel more like myself.”

You made a little disgruntled noise before burying your face in the crook of his neck as his hand brushed tenderly up your back, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of your neck. Your breaths were coming out in ragged gasps against the skin of his neck as you struggled to keep your emotions in check. Your mind had turned to mush, much like your body under his touch, and all logical thought grew fuzzy and rampant as you struggled to pinpoint and process exactly what you were feeling—excitement, relief, happiness, shock.

“Hey, hey.” He shushed you gently, tugging softly on your locks, forcing your head back and out of the crook of his neck so he could cradle your flushed face between his hands, thumb brushing tenderly over your damp cheek. “I’m here now, okay? It’s all okay.”

“I missed you so much.” You sniffled, bottom lips wobbling as you fought to keep the tears pooling in your eyes at bay. “I can’t believe you’re really here. I thought Macy was coming to pick me up.”

Sebastian chuckled, dipping down to press a kiss to your forehead, “I know we set you up.” You could feel his smug smirk against your skin and you had no doubt that those gorgeous eyes were just gleaming with mirth. “She’ll be coming to stay with you next week when I leave. But until then you’re all mine.”

A shiver danced up your spin and burst outward, your cheeks heating under his intense gaze. You would never know how he does it. Even after all this time, your lover still managed to light your body up with just a simple look or send butterflies bursting throughout your navel with a few promising words.

And you briefly wondered if he would always have this effect on you, even when you're aged and gray.

Probably, if you were being honest with yourself. No matter what, even if you ended up apart in the end, Sebastian would always hold the biggest piece of your heart in the palm of his hand.

He was the absolute love of your life, that you were sure.

“That sound okay to you, pretty girl?” He asked softly, nuzzling his nose against your own, plump lips brushing teasingly over yours.

A smile split across your lips, one so big and bright it made your cheeks ache, as one palm flattened over the back of his neck, fingers tangling in the ends of his hair, “Sounds perfect.”

One little tug and you smashed your lips against his in a desperate, heart clenching kiss.

You tilted your head, parting your lips for him when his tongue brushed along the seam of your lips, bearing yourself completely to him as he licked into your mouth. You never knew just how much you needed him—to taste him on your lips and feel his body under your touch or against your own, until this moment.

Home.

That was the only thought to flash through your mind as you lost yourself in him. Tongue swirling with his, your hands clawing desperately down his back and through his hair as he pressed you back into the billboard, one hand kneading your ass as the other slipped up to cradle the back of your head.

You were home.

“Mm.” You moaned softly into his mouth, pulling back to catch your breath as he trailed open mouth kisses across your cheek and down the side of your neck. “Sebastian.” You gasped out, head lolling back as he started sucking desperately on the skin just beneath your ear. “Sebastian.”

He let out a little whine into your skin, breath hot against the nape of your neck as he struggled to catch his breath and gather his bearings before he got too carried away.

“Not here, baby.” You whispered, combing your fingers through his tousled hair as he pulled back to look up at you. “Too many eyes.”

Your heart stuttered in your chest as you took in his appearance—his handsome face completely flushed, swollen lips pouted, pupils blown beneath heavy lids, and t-shirt wrinkled and hanging oddly over his broad shoulders from where you were tugging and yanking on it. Then your eyes flickered down his torso to where his hips rested between your thighs, when he rocked forward to brush the prominent bulge in his black shorts against your covered core.

“Sorry.” Sebastian laughed, a bashful grin split across his plump lips, “Kinda lost myself there for a second.” He stepped back, lowering you gently back on your own two feet before dipping down to give you one last chaste kiss, “Let’s get your shit and get home before I take you right here, right now.”

“Sebastian.” You gasped, spinning out of his grip when he landed a harsh smack on your ass. “Behave.”

“Come on, baby. Your luggage is about to come out.” He shot you a boyish grin before sliding his mask back up and snatching your hand up in his before tugging you in the direction of the carousel, “I’ll stop and get you some food on the way home too. You’re going to need all the fuel and energy you can get for what I have planned when we get home.”

—————

“Oh God.” You moaned, hand snapping up to catch a bit of mustard leaking from the back of your cheeseburger as you stuffed the last of it in your mouth. “N & Ou’ never gets ol’.”

“Ew”. Sebastian laughed, reaching over to brush his thumb along the corner of your lips and over your filled cheek, wiping away the crumbs and spilled condiments. “Don’t talk with your mouthful.”

You swallowed down your last bite, a pink blush rising to the apples of your cheek as you grabbed your coke and took a long sip, “Sorry. Its just so damn good.”

“I know. That’s why I suggested it.” He chuckled, shaking his head as he popped another fry in his mouth, “You’ve been moaning and groaning about it since you unwrapped your burger.”

“You’re a genius, Sebastian Stan.” You exclaimed with a grin, leaning over the center counsel to kiss his cheek, “And I love you for that.” You slumped back in your seat with a content sigh, ignoring his smug smirk and corked brow, “All is right in the world now. I’ve got my amazing boyfriend, I’m back in the states, just ate the bestest, most greasiest burger I’ve had in what feels like forever, and I’m about to get absolutely fucked.”

Sebastian nearly choked on his water, slamming his fist against his chest as he struggled to catch his breath in his fit of laughter.

“I might need a few minutes though,” Your head turned lazily in his direction, a sly smirk tugging at the corner of your lips, “I feel like a stuffed pig heading to the slaughterhouse. I’m about to burst.” You lifted your shirt and tugged down the band of your high waisted leggings, freeing your extended belly. “Look at my food baby, Seb. Isn’t that exciting?”

It only made Sebastian laugh harder, nose wrinkling and eyes crinkling as he tossed his head back. The familiar sound warmed your soul and egged you on further. You’d imagine you looked like that silly emoji with hearts for its eyes as you watched his sputter and cackle from your seat, wiping at the water that had dribbled down his chin and chest.

“We’re gonna be parents.” You giggled, biting your lip to suppress a goofy grin as you pat your tummy, “I’m definitely due soon too.”

“Oh god.” He wheezed out, scrubbing a hand down his flushed face, “I fucking missed you. I almost forgot how goofy you are.”

“I needed to make you laugh.” You shot him a big grin, aimlessly reaching for his hand as he quickly stuffed his empty wrappers in the brown bag before tossing it on the floor by your feet. “I missed it.”

Sebastian blushed, snatching your hand up in his before bringing to his mouth to kiss the back of your palm, “I love you. I needed a good laugh.” He tugged on your hand, drawing you closer as he leaned over the counsel to cup your cheek with his free hand and press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. “So thank you.”

“I love you more.” You breathed out, stealing one more peck before he retreated to his seat, slipping his seatbelt over his chest and clicking it back in place.

You felt frozen under his steel blue gaze, trained intently on you with so much adoration and innocent wonder, it took your breath away.

Because how could you not when he was looking at you like that? Like you were the center of his world. Like you were the very reason the sun rose every morning and set every night.

You opened your mouth to say something, the sight of him looking so damn happy and carefree, and knowing it’s all because of you, for whatever reason made you want to spill your guts and pour all your unnecessary amounts of love onto and into him, only to snap it shut when his phone rang loudly from where it rested on the dashboard.

Sebastian shot you an apologetic glance and a small smile before snatching it up. “Oh, it’s Anthony.” He announced, but it seemed like more of a question with the way his eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed into a thin line.

You leaned over, resting your head on his shoulder as he swiped right to answer the Incoming FaceTime call.

“Hey-”

“Stan!” Mackie interjected, voice barely above a whisper, and his dark eyes wide as they flickered quickly from the screen and the space around him. “We have a problem.”

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked, the concern evident in his expression. He moved his phone over, your face sliding into the camera beside his.

“She’s here, dude!” Mackie hissed, his image wiggling as he frantically waved his hands around. He leaned down, face practically pressed directly to the lens, “She’s fucking here in Prague.”

Sebastian shot you a nervous glance, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, clearly on edge, “Who?”

“Catalina.”

And just like that, your entire day was most likely ruined.

Sebastian inhaled sharply, his entire body tensing beneath your head. “What?” He growled out, sharpened features hardening as one hand snapped out to grip the steering wheel. “What do you mean she’s there?”

“I mean,” He flipped the camera lens, peeking out from behind a wall and into what looked to be a hotel lobby. Lounging across one of the couches was Catalina posing with a packet of papers, pretending to read as another blonde woman took pictures. “She’s just sitting here in our hotel lobby.”

“What the fuck.” He shook his head, a dry laugh tumbling from his lips, “What the actual fuck is she doing there?”

You lifted your head from Sebastian’s shoulder, hesitantly placing a hand on his thigh and giving it a subtle squeeze. You watched with a baited breath as a million emotions flashed across his face, disbelief and anger being the most prominent. You could practically feel it flowing off him in rapid waves.

“What is she doing?” Sebastian grit out, jaw clenched and chest heaving as he fumbled to keep his composure and stay calm, “Did she see you? How did she even know that’s where we would be staying?”

“I don’t know, man.” Anthony shook his head, “I don’t think she saw me, I was coming down to get an extra key, you know how I always lose shit, I wanted a back up.” He took a deep breath, nodding his head in what you assumed was the direction Catalina was sitting in, “And she was just there. I never moved so fast in my life. First thing I did was call you.”

Sebastian scrubbed a hand down his face, muffling his frustrated groan, “I’ll call you back.” He didn’t even give Mackie a chance to respond before he had ended the call and tossed his phone back up on the dashboard.

“Fuck!” He belted out, dropping his head in his hands with a drawn out groan. He shook his head, rubbing harshly over his eyes, “What—fuck.”

Hesitantly, you shifted over, pressing your knuckles into his back as his head thumped defeateled into the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, unsure of what to say or do to make this better. He clearly needed time to process and figure out his next steps.

You didn’t expect a response, you just wanted him to know you were there and you felt for him, in any way that you could.

You wanted to say it would be okay but it didn’t feel appropriate right now. Not only was Catalina breaking COVID protocols and laws, she was putting other people at risk, including his friends and castmates that were already there.

All for her selfish desire for attention and her irrational desperation for fame.

Once again, you were hit full force with the harsh reality that she truly didn’t care about anyone but herself.

That this was the woman Sebastian was publicly ‘dating’.

You couldn’t even begin to fathom the embarrassment and shame she brought onto him. He would, without doubt, catch so much heat when fans found out she was in Prague. They were already pissed about the previous travels, you couldn’t imagine how angry they would be knowing Prague was still technically in Lockdown and that Catalina had most likely used her rich privilege to get there.

And if fans caught wind that Sebastian wasn’t even in Prague, it would be a PR nightmare. Whatever progress they were making to convince people this relationship was authentic and real, would fly right out the window.

“Oh My God.”

You shook yourself from your thoughts, eyes flickering up to find Sebastian swiping through his phone. You leaned over to see what he was looking at.

“She already fucking posted about it.” He breathed out, voice low and flat. “And people are losing their shit in her comment section.”

You squinted, hand lifting to wrap around his wrist, tilting his phone in your direction, “Is that,” You took a deep breath, “Is that your mask?”

Instead of responding, he reached over and opened the glovebox, pulling out the black, bandana printed mask with an expression of pure disdain.

You sighed, scrubbing a hand down your face, “She bought the same one.”

“Yup.” He rolled his eyes, tugging the phone out of your hand. He exited Instagram in favor of searching through his recent calls, but before he could click on his contact for ‘Elaine’, a text chimed through.

Catalina:

Where are you? I’m in lobby.

Catalina:

Come down.

“Oh shit.” You chuckled, pressing a hand over your mouth as you glanced up at him with wide eyes, “You didn’t tell her you were staying behind did you?”

“No.” Sebastian grumbled, swiping a third text notification away, “It’s none of her fucking business where I am. She shouldn’t even be texting me.”

He pressed the button, clicking it on speaker before you even had a chance to make a retort.

“I was just about to call you.” Elaine sighed, picking up on the second ring. “I’m sure you’ve heard then. I know you wouldn’t be calling me while you’re with your girl.”

“Of course I heard.” Sebastian huffed, head lolling back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mackie called me as soon as he found her sitting in the lobby. What the fuck is she doing, El?”

Another heavy sigh, “I wish I knew.” She paused briefly, followed by what sounded like crinkling paper, “I’m so sorry you have to deal with this on your break. Don’t even worry about it, okay? I’ll handle it.”

“You shouldn’t even have to.” He exclaimed, the frustration blatant in his tone. “She was told she wasn’t allowed to go there and she went anyway. How the fuck did she find out they had arrived? Or where they were staying?”

“Someone tipped the paps off.” Elaine responded, “Got pictures of Anthony and Daniel, I guess.”

“Fans are already pissed off, El.” He croaked out, sparing you a glance before reaching out to place his hand on your thigh, whether to comfort or ground himself you weren’t sure. “Her comment section is blowing up and you already know it’s going to fall back on me.” He threw his hand up, eyebrows practically jumping into his hairline, “For God sake, she’s walking around in the same mask as mine. That’s how hard she’s trying to sell this right now. Never mind that sharing a mask is fucking gross and unsanitary.”

“About that…” Elaine trailed off, “People know you aren’t there. Someone tipped them off that you hadn’t arrived with the rest of the cast—most likely one of our own…”

“Oh, great.” Sebastian breathed out with a bob of his head, the sarcasm dripping heavily from his tongue. “That’s just great.”

“No. This doesn’t make you look bad at all.” Elaine assured, “Between you and I, she looks like a fucking idiot and you know what?” She exhaled a soft breath, “Let her! This is stalkerish behavior and let’s be real here, this isn’t going to sell. No matter what, she cannot seem to put her desperation aside.”

“Elaine.” He sighed, shooting you a concerned glance.

“No, Seb.” She interjected, tone final and clear, “We’ve told her a number of times, how this works and what we’re supposed to do to make this even somewhat believable but she’s never been told ‘no’ in her entire life, and she clearly doesn't understand the definition. She wants to run rampant, hell, break contract rules…” She chuckled dryly, “Let her! She’s asking for the hate at this point. She’s gone too far and I truly believe she’s a lost cause.”

“El.” Sebastian mumbled, shaking his head, “She’s causing a lot of problems. I don’t know how much longer I can stand for this.”

“You and me both.” Elaine sighed, “I’ve had a permemant headache since this whole shitshow started. I’m so tired of cleaning up her mess.”

Your frown deepened, you’d never thought about how this might be affecting everyone else around you, outside of Sebastian. With that in mind, you couldn’t imagine how hard this was on his team, especially Elaine who had been with Sebastian since the very beginning and considered him family at this point. Not only did they have to focus on him—his career and his reputation but they now had to deal with Catalina—her team, her disastrous image and its effects on their client.

“And now I have to clean up this mess and tame a pissed off brat.” Elaine added quietly, “She's already blowing up my phone. Her manager too.”

“She’s texted me a number of times.” Sebastian admitted, “She’ll probably start calling soon.”

He shot you an apologetic glance when you squeezed his hand before drawing your intertwined hands over the center counsel to press a soft, reassuring kiss to your knuckles. You offered him a soft smile and a dismissive wave of your free hand as he swiped his thumb gently over the back of your palm.

“Ignore her.” Elaine huffed, “I’ll deal with it, you enjoy some time with Y/N, okay? Catalina has caused you enough trouble and you deserve a break.”

“Thanks, Elaine.” He said softly, “I’m sorry you have to deal with her. Did I tell you you’re the best?”

“You’ve mentioned it once or twice.” She chuckled, “And, hey… I wouldn’t be opposed to looking for a way out of this, ya know? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I’m gonna take a peek at that contract again. See if there is anything we can do to end this shit because I’m so over it and I know you are too. Have been since you first met her.”

“Are you serious?” Sebastian asked, eyes wide as he scratched anxiously at the scruff lining his jaw, “Do you think it’s possible?”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.” Elaine responded, “At the very least, maybe we could negotiate and get it shortened. It’s really not up to me but I’ll see what I can do.” She groaned, “I know I’m not the only one who's over her, so we just gotta get the right people on our side.”

He was quiet for a moment and you could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. “Alright. Let me know if you come up with something.”

“I will.” Elaine exclaimed, “And I promise to try not bothering you for the rest of the weeks. Tell Y/N your all hers until then.”

Sebastian laughed, peeking over at you to shoot you a subtle wink, “I will. Thanks again and have a good rest of your day, El.”

“You too, Seb.” And with that she ended the call.

You waited patiently for him to collect himself, watching him from beneath your lashes as he took a few deep breaths and rolled his shoulders back a couple of times.

“Sorry about that.” He spoke up, a frown tugging at the corner of his lips. “This is not how I wanted our first day spent together to go.”

“It’s okay.” You leaned over, combing your hand through his hair before cupping his cheek and pressing a quick, soft kiss to his lips. “We can either talk about it right now, get it all out and off your chest…” You shot him a wicked grin, wiggling your brows at him. “Or we can squash it right here, right now, and have a much needed jam sess for the rest of the drive.”

“Is that even a question?” He retorted, a boyish grin growing across his handsome face. “Jam sess, all the way, baby. What are we listening to?”

“First things first, are you good to drive?” You questioned gently, “You know we don’t drive emotionally.”

“I’m good, baby.” He nodded before dipping down to kiss your pouty lips once more, “Promise.”

“Alright.” You smiled, shifting back into your seat before clicking your own seat belt in place, “I’m thinking MJ.”

“MJ!” He shook his head, a content smirk spread across his lips as he grabbed his phone and opened up Spotify, “I should’ve known.”

“What?” You gave an innocent shrug, “He’s the best.”

“One of ‘em.” Sebastian agreed, wrinkling his nose at you, “Billie Jean, alright?”

“That’s more than alright.” You giggled, pressing a hand to your chest and batting your lashes at him, “It's like you know me so well or something.”

“Or something.” Sebastian laughed, playfully rolling his eyes as he passed you his phone before turning the speakers up and shifting the car in drive.

—————

Tag list

@justlovelifeblog @inlovewith3 @buckybarnesandmarvel @sleutherclaw @snugglingbucky @perlaluna @littlewhiterose

@idontwannagomrstarkk

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x you

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

Okay so I have a reboot theory/headcanon/fanfiction thing

(I never know what to call these… they're not proper fabrics, but they're not entire theories either)

So Penelope has come back to the team, and there is banter, there is flirting, and there's a bit of awkwardness around her and Luke. Everyone on the team knows what happened, but they don't address it since they don't want to make it MORE awkward.

Anyway, they're working on this one case, and it's pretty bad, as their cases are. Something about this case, though, strikes a cord with Emily. She swears she saw something like it in her days at Interpol. "Hey, Garcia," she says over the phone. "I know no cases like this other than our victims have popped up in the states, so could you try to see if you could search Russian databases? Specifically around the St. Petersburg area? Same MO and signature. It might take you a while to cut through the red tape, but tell people I sent you, it should make it easier."

Penelope agrees and runs the search. (I know you all know where I'm going with this, but please pretend you do not.)

About an hour later, it is Luke's phone that's ringing. He finds this odd for two reasons. Number one: she hasn't called him to give him information since she's rejoined. Always someone else. Number two: he hasn't asked her for anything.

"Hey, Penelope, what's up?" (He can't think of her as Garcia anymore… ever since he asked her out she's always just been Penelope to him.)

She is panicking, and you can hear it. She's on the verge of tears. "Luke, it's him."

"Who? What's him?"

"The Russian search, Luke, it's Alexei Stanovich."

*cut scene*

*cut to Luke explaining the Alexei Stanovich situation to the team while he runs around packing things.*

"He was bothering her online… well she said bothering. It definitely more constituted stalking. Messaging her, asking why she wasn't barefoot and pregnant, detailing all the ways he was going to kill her…"

The team lets out a sharp gasp at that.

"It's been going on at least two years. At least that's when I found out. The stalking case of that student of hers. I told her if anything ever happened she needed to keep me on speed dial. And damn if I'm going to let her be alone in a different state now that he's in the country."

"Luke, are you sure that leaving's a good idea?" Emily asks. "I mean, like you said, she's in a different state. And she's at Quantico, she's completely protected."

"Far be it for an unsub to divert us while he goes after his real target. Are you ordering me to stay?"

"No. I am not."

"Then I'm going."

He grabs his stuff and walks out and the team stares out after him. "Wow," Tara says. "He's still in love with her."

"I'm not surprised," JJ says. "I mean, they only got to go on the one date before Covid shut everything down, right? They never really had any closure over anything, and now they're working together again… and especially with this, it makes sense those feelings would be coming back to surface."

Emily sighs, almost wistfully. "I really hope they can work something out."

"Me too," Rossi agrees. "They'd be good for each other."

They stay silent for a moment longer before returning to work. They have people to save.

*Meanwhile, at Quantico*

"Luke, I cannot believe you left the team to keep an eye on me. You do not need to be here, I'm fine."

"If I didn't need to be here, why would Emily and Rossi have let me go?"

"He's in a different state, Luke! How's he going to get to me?"

"He hasn't dropped a body in a couple of days, Penelope. What if he's on his way over here? I'm not leaving you alone, it's not safe."

"I'll just stay here, in my office! I've done it before! When Cat Adams and her group of hitmen were after me I lived here for over a month."

Luke's eyes go huge. "Cat Adams and her group of hitmen were targetting you?"

"Yeah. You didn't know that?"

"No!" He would have killed Cat Adams the first time he met her, had he known. "Then I'll just stay here with you. Rossi has a couch in his office I can crash on."

"Luke–"

"Penelope, I didn't leave you alone when you were crying because Reid was hurt in prison, do you really think I'm going to leave you alone now?"

***

When they finally solve the case and get Alexei into custody, Penelope and Luke cheer in celebration. She grabs his face and kisses him briefly, just a spur-of-the-moment, celebratory kiss. She doesn't even think anything of it, she just keeps on celebrating. Then it hits her exactly what she did. She turns to face him and he's just staring at her. And then he kisses her for real.

Idk I just feel like this would be an emotionally satisfactory way to explain them not being together right away, deal with the AS thing, and get them together for real

#Garvez #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds reboot #Criminal Minds Evolution #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #Garvez Fanfiction #Luke Alvez #Penelope Garcia #Emily Prentiss #Jennifer Jareau #Tara Lewis #David Rossi

[violetren]

So that bit in Glass Onion where everyone gets sprayed in the mouth with something that is just strongly implied to be a foolproof inoculation against covid.

Now realistically its just a convenient way to explain why a covid era movie that made the choice of acknowledging covid to help set the stage of why everything and everyone is so isolated even prior to going to the island ans to give the audience a handy shorthand as to what sort of people the characters were like based on their approaches to masking and covid safety, and then immediately get rid of it once it was no longer useful.

But setting aside that Doylist sort of thinking and switching to Watsonian...

The initial version of Miles we are presented with before we ever see him on screen is some kind of eccentric genius. The exact sort of bloke who may very well have some super covid suppressing/eliminating spray and be refusing to share it with the world to protect his profit margins.

It's just a movie, so why not? It doesn't break immersion, it just made me grumble that it wasn't so easy in the real world.

But then we meet Miles, and we watch him for a bit and like Blanc we realise. The man is fucking idiot. A fraud all the way down.

My question is did he find some in universe genius actually capable of creating an inoculating spray against covid?

Or, did he just pay some dude to wait at the dock and spray something stupid like hand sanitizer into their mouths thinking that'd be all that was needed or that at the very least it would shut up the few members of the Disruptors who actually believed in vaccinating and masking up?

#glass onion #glass onion a knives out mystery #covid 19

[thessalian]

Thess vs Results

As in, I finally fucking GOT SOME.

I called up Scruffman in the morning, first thing, and he’d obviously seen my emails from yesterday by that point. He has his issues, does Scruffman, but he also knows me of old. He knows I stress over not being able to meet my professional commitments - which is a fancy way of saying “after decades of temping I’m still scared I’m going to get fired if I miss even a single day, even if I’m really ill and / or it’s not in any way my fault”. (Seriously, the only time I didn’t feel remotely bad about having to just not go to work was when I had Covid, way back at the start of the pandemic, and that’s as much because of how many people were dying of it at the time and not wanting to kill somebody - this was before the mask mandates and the full-scale lockdown, never mind the vaccine.) So anyway, point is that he was quick to reassure me that none of this was my fault and nobody was angry with me for not being able to come in to work during a bus strike that more or less shuts down the buses in my entire area except the ones I have to walk up and down a massive hill to access. Not that he said that in so many words, of course. What he did was warned and reassured me in equal measure when he said, “I’m going to respond to this email and include everybody and I will go ham so that IT understands the problem here”.

And he did. It was a master class in passive-aggression, I swear. But even in the midst of all that, he made sure to underline that he entirely understood that I could not come in because of the bus strike, following up with, “I know we were both hoping that IT would have sorted this out by now...” and going on from there to basically say without outright saying that this mess was all their fault and causing me no end of stress as well as the commute struggle and messing with the productivity of the department right when we’re hugely busy and understaffed, and that they needed to make it up to us by sorting it out right the fuck now.

Seriously impressive.

Anyway, original IT guy ... well, another out of office message. I don’t know what the hell that guy does. Anyway, his higher-up was apparently down with an attack of sinusitis all weekend (though that doesn’t entirely explain Friday or yesterday and really doesn’t explain Thursday, but I do know his pain, so...), and was very much spurred into action. He poked around, and then stopped, and I checked ... and again, nothing. Apparently the original IT guy was the primary expert on this kind of remote shit, and with him away, higher-up had to wait for another person who knew more about this than higher-up did, at about half past two. I was asked if I had Microsoft Teams on my home computer so I could join in the conversation. I do not even have Office on my home computer so ... no. And anyway, how the hell would I be of any use there? So the point is that anything significant had to wait until 2:30pm. And an hour later, after some noodling around both to get everything set up with the transcription software and on my end to set up a proper workspace ... it was done. Sorted. I now have the ability to work from home.

And I did, pretty much immediately. Yeah, 3:30pm isn’t far off my usual home-time, but there were a couple of reasons I volunteered to make up at least some of the time. First of all, I wanted to at least try to carve through some of the backlog, which gives me nightmares. Also, I wanted to test out the setup and see what tweaks could be made to make it as close to ergonomic perfection as it could get, given that it’s a laptop. However, there is also a part of me that wanted to establish right from the start: “Just because I’m working at home does not mean I will be slacking off”. Hell, I want to prove I can work better here.

Which is honestly true. Having my music of choice in the background instead of Goblin’s interminable heavy sighs and nasty back-chat made everything just so much better, which in turn made working easier. I will have to be very careful not to follow my other inclination of overworking, but if I set an alarm or something to flag up that yeah, my day is over now, I should be okay.

Though speaking of alarms, being able to set mine for 10:30 three of my four days a week was so satisfying you have no idea.

So tomorrow’s my first proper day of working from home, and I discuss the whole thing with Scruffman properly when I come in on Thursday, which is the one day a week we agreed I should come in. Friday’s out because bus strike again, and they’re doing more strikes in December, so ... yeah, this wasn’t exactly perfect timing, but let’s call it “in the very teeth of time” and call it even.

So now, finally, I am set up to work from home. And now I am going to have dinner.

#Thess has a day job #Thess works from home

[remmammie]

Could you do another Roxas ficlet where he calms down a stressed G/N Reader by simply talking to them? (Reader is stressed about how the future is coming so quickly and they don’t feel prepared)

And maybe add a little encouraging message at the end, for anybody struggling? I kinda need it cause I’m getting a little stressed myself [Finals Week is the last week of May and I just wanna make my parents proud]

Sorry this took me a hot minute, Symmie! I've been very distracted getting back into the swing of college. I'm afraid I haven't ever really taken any important exams - that COVID student life - so I don't understand the pressure of what you're going through, but I'll do what I can which is write this ficlet up for you. <3 Also, people, do tell me if you prefer things to be written in first (I, my), second (you, your), or third (y/n, they) person - I can write in any.

Good Life - Roxas x Reader comfort ficlet

When Roxas had spotted you still by your desk late at night - later than the first time he had told you to get some sleep, he almost couldn't believe his eyes. He had never seen such dark bags under someone's eyes before and it was almost scary for him. Your brow was strained and your fingers were tapping pretty rapidly on the wooden desk you were studying at - or at least you were trying to study at. The blond could tell just by watching from afar that nothing was settling in and no matter how many hours you had been sat there mulling over the same pile of texts.

"Hey." Despite his soft voice (especially as it was so late into the night,) you still jumped under his touch, making Roxas immediately cringe and apologise.

"Sorry! I thought you knew I was here. I just wanted to come and check on you - I told you to go to sleep hours ago." he stated, half-scolding, half-concerned. You sighed, then dropped your head into your hands with both eyes squeezed shut. This is the first time anyone had talked to you in quite while and even such a minimal distraction from your revision had given enough time to let the whole weight of it all settle down on your shoulders. The realisation of just how much time you had wasted despite how hard you had tried to concentrate...it was difficult to swallow. And Roxas had, of course, noticed immediately.

"Roxas, you know I can't sleep until I get this memorised. No, uh, reference to Axel intended." you laughed nervously in some sort of attempt to brush of Roxas' concern, hoping he would abandon his efforts to drag you to bed so you could continue revising. But you already knew Roxas was too kind of a soul to leave you in such a state. He frowned.

"Very funny. You know there's no point in studying when you're this tired. No wonder nothing is settling in." You stayed silent purely because you knew Roxas was right; there was no point in trying to refute what he had said. Instead, the weight of the shame dragged your head down to the desk, buried in your folded arms. Roxas' eyes softened. He squeezed your shoulder gently then crouched down to your height whilst sitting so you could hear him better between your arms.

"Please, tell me what's wrong. I want to help you..." Roxas' voice was perhaps the most hushed and comforting you had ever heard it be. And, besides it just being Roxas (someone who you trusted with most everything,) his consoling tone was enough to encourage you to spill your heart out to him.

"I just...I don't understand how quickly I've gotten here. Everything happened so fast and I'm just kind of lost. I don't know how to handle this all of a sudden." you confessed. Although it was a rather muffled confession, Roxas heard both your words and your tone and could summarise it all in one word: scared.

"You're...scared of the future?" he asked. Head still against the desk, you nodded with a muted sniffle. Roxas let out a small hum.

"I think...that the future is supposed to be scary sometimes. I mean, who knows what will happen, right? But maybe that's because there are so many new opportunities opening up for you. I think the only way you can be prepared for the future is to keep an open mind, to find the white lining and be excited for new experiences rather than thinking of the worst possible scenario." Roxas' words certainly weren't 100% confident - he wasn't used to giving advice, especially about a future he hadn't yet been able to experience himself - but the knowledge that he would be there for you was enough to bring even a small smile to your face. His eyes were so genuine, filled with the same childish innocence you were so terrified to lose. And yet, with Roxas around and in your mind, you'd never be forced to let go of precious childhood memories, no matter what the future brings.

Rem's Note: Hello! I hope you enjoyed this little fic! For anyone that is struggling at the minute, no matter what with, I fully encourage you to simply try your best. It's all anyone can ever ask of you while prioritising good mental health and happiness. Your best might be just doing a little bit of revision each night before examinations, or it may just be waking up - no matter what it is, you should at least aim to make yourself proud with even the smallest of achievements. Know that no matter what happens, the people who truly love you for you will never judge you for doing anything less than simply trying your best. Love you <3 /p

#kingdom hearts roxas #kingdom hearts fanfiction #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts headcanons #kingdom hearts fanfic #kingdom hearts x reader #kh headcanons #roxas x reader

[ilajayking]

Found this thing I wrote last year

I wrote the following article last year and never did anything with it. As we are surpassing three years since the shutdown due to Covid, I wanted to at least post it somewhere. It was just me rambling about my thoughts, but maybe it will resonate with someone, or maybe it will provide insight to other generations:

Gen Z is not okay.

As we come upon two years since the world shut down due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, I’ve been reflecting on everything we as a society have lost. Beloved family members, friends, jobs, high school graduations, normality; all of this gone in what felt like a quick twenty-four hours. We lost key parts of our lives, yet, we’ve been expected to carry on so we can get back to normal. With mask mandates being lifted and Covid numbers decreasing, it seems this “normal” is slowly returning. So what are we bringing with it that we didn’t have before?

When you lose something, you grieve. Most of the time, you are given ample opportunity to go through the stages of loss, and the resources to help you cope with everything you are experiencing. When the pandemic hit, we as a society lost the control we thought we had over our lives. The mechanical way of life we had been living for so long was shut off abruptly, and it left us with no sense of when it would turn back on. We watched as we were told that all we had to do was stay home, and this would all magically go away. We listened as we were informed that wearing a mask protects the virus from being transmitted. We waited fourteen days to flatten the curve and for the madness to be over. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into a year, and we waited for something to come and take this all away.

We have been left with a broken generation. And we are not okay.

We have sat around for two years and watched all of this madness go down. We have watched our parents, grandparents, siblings, classmates, and neighbors die. We have watched our country divide and tear each other apart. We’ve seen racial injustice and discrimination and continued police brutality. We are suffering from mental illness in numbers that we haven't seen before. We’ve seen an increase in hate. Hate for ourselves, hate for what is happening around us, and hate against people who are different ethnically, politically, and socially, and we’re angry. We are still children, yet we have been forced to grow up because the world needed us to; We weren’t ready. We were never given time to grieve our childhoods that we’ve had to abruptly leave behind; we didn’t even have time to grieve our future, and it didn’t seem like we were allowed to because at least we were alive. But two years later, we’re bringing all of our new baggage with us as we try to return to the lives we so abruptly left behind.

I was a Junior in high school when the pandemic hit. I went into my last year of high school in the fall of 2020 not knowing if we would even get through the first two weeks. I was in person every other day with half of my classmates, I lost friends because I was too scared if I went out I would get Covid and give it to my family, and I applied to college with no guidance, and no ability to know if I would like the school because I couldn’t tour it. I had to go permanently online school because I would cry myself to sleep thinking about all I was missing. I felt selfish every time I would get upset like that, because with all of the terrible things going on in the world, why should I be so upset about losing parts of my life? At least I was alive, and at least I was healthy, and at least I was privileged enough to still have all of the same opportunities.

This mentality needs to end, and the next step as we come out of this pandemic needs to be a focus on the mental health crisis at hand. We need to be able to realize the privilege we have, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to recognize that we have lost things these past two years too. As Gen Z continues to grow up, we need the proper resources to deal with the stress and trauma that the last two years have brought on. The phrase “unprecedented times” was something we all heard during this pandemic, yet we still look at dealing with these issues the same way we did before. We are all different people now than we were two years ago, and we can't respond to these unprecedented situations with precedented methods. As the conversation around mental health gets more serious, we need to continue to work on ending the stigma surrounding it. Normalizing therapy, medications, rehabilitation, mental health days, and even just reaching out to friends and family; all of these things help in taking care of our overall health and wellness. I want to stop hearing a new story about another suicide every week, so if we want to get back to normal, we need to address this problem now. If we validate the feelings of those struggling and erase the stigma around Mental Health, maybe we can start to heal.

#mental health #covid #gen z #mental heath awareness #mental heath support #reflection #gen z experience #self help #self healing

[what-the-hayl]

Dying.

Sometimes dying isn't always a literal thing, but more so of a mental state. It's crazy how wild, crazy, scary and amazing our brains work. Somedays I'm thinking why i never got into studying anatomy. Then i think...I've always loved the idea of being a counselor, police officer, detective, and a writer too.

I lost a very close friend of mine, Michael. He saved my life once. Having to just carry that grief with me everyday, was very challenging to say the least. It still is some days. Living with my parents, caring for my one year old son, my mental struggles i already had leading up to his death, the only thing at that time going okay for me was my job at Amazon i drove for them. I fucking loved that job, ALOT. The environment was so chill, my bosses were the coolest individuals, the money was good for what it was. I had a trip planned down to Orlando, FL at the end of the month in February.. mom and dad were presentient on me NOT getting on a plane and traveling at that time as Covid-19 was starting to unfold.

I had already paid for my ticket to travel down south, i lied to them and told them i was going somewhere simple like Michigan City with another buddy instead. Once i got down there, i felt guilty as if something were to happen to me, so i texted them that i had landed down there. Needless to say; they were pissed. Pissed.

Literally a week before the governor shut everything down, Amazon let me go for back talking a higher up at 730am. THAT SUCKED. The amount of mad my parents were was enough for me to drink my sorrows away and some party favors that weekend in Florida. The dread to come home that Monday was awful, my parents didnt want me back at their house when i came home incase i had covid, which i understood but was frustrating. I ended up coming home and living out of a suitcase at my aunts house.

You know when they say "misery loves company"? Misery, in company, grows ever worse. I loved my aunt, she was always a mom figure to me but i never respected her as a "elder looking out for me" but a big sister and best friend. I never did wrong to her, when indeed i did alot wrong simply bad decisions. I know i would get no disciplinary actions around her.

The day before Easter of 2020, i went to a girlfriends house, we day drank and laid out all day with her parents and as the night rolled around, others had came over to join. We snorted a shit ton of addy all day and night, i think i started drinking around 1pm that day, and didnt end up passing out on the toilet until 8am Easter morning, i wasnt hungover but more EXHASTED!!! I remember her dad coming to wake me up to let me know there was a guy at the door looking for me... my uncle looking for me i was literally a street over from my aunts. I went to lay back down again, and not even 20 minutes later the cops are at the house now.

I went back to my parents that evening. Not for long, a couple weeks later my dad and i go into it, he told me to get the hell out. He said some really hurtful things to me that day, that stick with me daily. That night im pretty sure i died, my soul died cause i wasnt able to save my dear friend Michael. I had, had enough.

My buddies picked me up with a couple duffle bags, a laundry basket and maybe a fan or something. I stayed with them for a few weeks, we went straight to our bar, all the party favors, and the alcohol. I was so mad that day, i got trashed i remember doing so much snow i was trying to die physically I didnt want to feel the pain anymore.

My truck wasnt running, the headgaskets blew. Now, im car-less, homeless, and jobless. I went and lived out in Muskgon for a little bit, after a month out there i got another truck, crashed that a month later, went to jail, and totaled my truck. I insisted on ratting myself out to the officers and getting tow and paying for the repairs to get it "fixed' ... with money i certainly didnt have. I was living out of that thing for a while at times.

Moved in with my aunts boyfriend "the uncle" that found me on Easter. That was probably the worst decision i could have made in my 29 years. A very dark place for me, and the auras are nasty. Somedays id love to say my piece and most days, i choose peace. I created a onlyfans to afford my truck fixings and parts.

Once i created my onlyfans it was nice money and it was like the stupidest and simplest way to make some money, so why the fuck not. Over time that shit took a mental toll on me as now people only view me as something to fuck all the time. Which is was never the case, i always told myself if i ever did anything physically for money i would be lowering my "respect" i had left of myself. I never brought myself to that.

I went down to stay with my sister and brother n law down in Goergia mid September, for a month and i needed that. Those relations seem to be going in the right direction which makes me happy and hopeful for the future. A year ago was a crazy time.

Im proud to say im almost a year clean from drugs, im working on this sober of alcohol thing and that i can proudly say is going really well too.

Dont let your soul die when a loved one passes, they are with you. Closer than you think.