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twstedgrils · 4 years

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Oc Master Post

Alright! I finally have all my ocs designed and written down! This is the official debut post for this oc blog! It’s really long (gotta go through 10 ocs lmao) so I’ll put a read more so it’s easier to scroll past. If your interested, please read and even ask me questions! I really want to interact with this fandom since everyone seems so nice and funny!

And yes, I did put grils instead of girls on purpose...I’m funny I swear

So I first want to say that my ocs are in an au, one which has NRC have female students (but still in low numbers) and an 8th dorm based on Captain Hook (making Ramshackle the 9th). Also Crowley is a tiny bit nicer to our mc in this au, mostly cause he’s basically her weird dad lol

There’s another addition to this au, but that’ll be addressed in my MC insert’s bio.

I’ll also list additional info that the text in the refs don’t address, including body types because I wanted my ocs to be diverse in that aspect.

Another thing, shipping. Oh great seven, shipping will be a free for all for me. I really like shipping. So any ship and every ship will be possible (as long as it’s not with Cheka or Ortho, cause no. Human Grim is fine, but he has to be in human form). With that in mind this blog will be very self-indulgent when it comes to shipping and such.

I’ll come back to this to edit when I develop these girls more.

So first off we’ll start with my MC!self-insert!

I didn’t know what outfit to put her in, since Ramshackle doesn’t have a dorm uniform, so I just put her in her pjs (which were provided by Crowley).

Birthday: Feb 4 (my b-day lolol)

Best Subject: Math

Worst Subject: PE (for valid medical reasons)

Hobby: Drawing

Homeland: Not of TW

Body Type: Average

Charlotte (or Charlie as people call her) is usually quiet, especially when she first arrives in TW. But the more she’s comfortable around the people, the more she reveals her inner sass. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s as much as a dumbass as the ADeuce duo.

She’s also has albinism, but she used to constantly dye her hair into a more strawberry blonde so she wouldn’t get picked on by other kids. This condition also leads to her having to take many breaks during PE so she won’t burn.

She may like cats, but Grim really tests her fondness for them. But once it’s found out he can take a human form (and becomes more chill due to the amount of energy it takes to maintain said form) the two actually become the best of friends, which shocks the first year gang.

Design Inspiration: White Rabbit and March Hare

Birthday: Feb 29

Best Subject: History

Unique Magic: Golden Doorknob (Summons a golden doorknob on any surface, making it a door to anywhere the user thinks of. Example, placing the knob on Ramshackle's walls and walks into NRC's Cafeteria via the door)

Worst Subject: Chemistry

Hobby: Track

Homeland: Afterglow

Body Type: Pear shape

Whitney is what you expect from a rabbit, timid, nervous, shy, anxiety filled, and easily intimidated. At first. If you manage it anger her, suddenly you’ll be hit by both a Scottish war cry and a rabbit kick. When she’s angry, she’s a rage filled bunny who throws the most foul of curses. Her switches are rivaled to Deuce’s bad boy switch. And just like the boy, when she calms down she get’s very flustered.

She doesn’t talk to many people, as she hates attention. But after some she does become acquainted with the boys, almost on the line of friendship with each.

Design Inspiration: Shere Kahn and Tigger

Birthday: Set 28

Unique Magic: Fun! Fun! Fun! (turns any part of their body into a bouncy spring. Often the tail is used)

Best Subject: PE

Worst Subject: Chemistry

Hobby: Basket Weaving and making jewelry

Homeland: Land of Pyroxene

Body Type: Apple shape (broad shoulders)

Kaya is seen as a tough no bs girl, many females admire how she can go woman-to-man with the Savanaclaw males. But actually she’s nothing but a goofball that loves to tend to baby animals and make cute things. She has a talent for making beautiful woven baskets and earrings. She helps Ruggie a lot whenever she sees him overun by errands.

She does have a tendency to nap anywhere and everywhere like Leona and Silver, but she apologizes sheepishly when woken up. Because of her napping habit, she tends to stay up late into the night.

Design Inspiration: None

Birthday: May 24

Unique Magic: Second Chance (let’s the user go back to a certain point to try again. Only activated when close to death)

Best Subject: Chemistry

Worst Subject: History

Hobby: Singing and baking

Homeland: Coral Sea

Body Type: Petite

Wendy is a very small moon jellyfish mermaid. She was home-schooled by her mother under the sea, while her father ran a business on land. She visited land often to see her father, fascinated by all neon lights shining in the city.

She’s very quiet, like she’s actually a selective mute. She doesn’t tend to hangout with people because she fears most don’t like her because of her selective muteness. Oddly enough though, she’s always seen with Floyd, to the bafflement of everyone. She finds the eels mannerisms amusing.

She loves to sing, but doesn’t want anyone but her secret singing buddy (Daria) to listen to her. Her voice is very high pitched, but soft that it’s almost hard to hear. She also loves baking, often seen helping Jade and Floyd with preparing the sugary foods and drinks Monstro Lounge offers.

Design Inspiration: Iago and Jasmine’s red outfit

Birthday: Aug 5

Unique Magic: Dancer’s Delight (charms anyone who sees her dancing, perfect for distraction)

Best Subject: None

Worst Subject: None

Hobby: Dancing

Homeland: Land of Hot Sands

Body Type: Hourglass

Layla is like that one person who teases everyone and sees most as her friend. She uses both her height and pretty features to get a rise and fluster anyone. Her main victim is Jamil, much to his displeasure. She gets along great with Kalim, fueling his antics of carpet riding and shenanigans. But she does help Jamil in taking care of Kalim, often seeing the snake whisperer overworked.

She’s usually seen hanging out with Kaya and Whitney (with the rabbit being flustered by both of the taller females). She’s drawn to most in the Savanaclaw dorm, as she has the urge to pet their ears. She and Kaya are in the same class, so the two always buddy together, helping each other if needed.

Back home she comes from a line of exotic dancers, always entertaining other for money. With this in mind, she practices her dancing everyday. She hopes she can live up to the expectations her family has put on her. She’s not wealthy, but she’s not poor, so she doesn’t get too surpised over Kalim’s wealth. But she still does, especially when Kalim once offered to get her a tiger cub (she refused though).

Design Inspiration: Myself and Medusa (Hercules tv show)

Birthday: Mar 27

Unique Magic: Snake Eyes (paralyzes anyone with her stare if activated, even herself if she looks in the mirror)

Best Subject: History

Worst Subject: Math

Hobby: Painting and singing

Homeland: Isle of Lamentation

Body Type: Chubby

Daria is another quiet and reserved girl, she’s not shy per say but she prefers people to approach her than the other way. She doesn’t particularly like that she was sorted into Pomefiore, cause all she wants to do is paint and sing. This leads her to grow close to Epel and anger Vil. She purposefully doesn’t do anything to her appearance, only brushing her hair as she hates tangles.

She tends to stay in a secret area with Wendy, singing with the fellow quiet girl. If not that then she’s doing artwork in her dorm room, ignoring anyone who dares to pull her away from her work. Often times this leads to both her and Vil having a glaring contest cause she didn’t sleep (”Too busy painting” she says.) or forgot to do her morning skincare routine.

Design Inspiration: Phosphora (Kid Icarus) and Electra (backstory)

Birthday: Jul 16

Unique Magic: Sparks Fly (allows the user to transfer any electricity from any device around her into her prosthetics)

Best Subject: Math

Worst Subject: None

Hobby: Modifying her prosthetic limbs

Homeland: Rose Kingdom

Body Type: Top heavy

Elina is the mom friend, always giving others affection and helping them when she can. Because of her affectionate self, she treats Ortho like her little brother. You’ll often see her playing with the boy, or in her room working on her prosthetics (with Idia helping). She loves making her limbs look non-human, but she has more human structure legs for school (as to not weird out her classmates too much). She’s made them since young, always improving and modernizing her limbs.

Because of a tragic accident, she has prosthetics for both legs and her left arm. And has trauma over car races or cars going over the speed limit. She never mentions her family around others, but it shows how much she cares for them. The same could be said for her friends.

Design Inspiration: Chernabog

Birthday: Jun 6

Unique Magic: ???

Best Subject: History

Worst Subject: Chem

Hobby: Making Clothes

Homeland: Valley of Thorns

Body Type: Shortstack

Maria is basically the opposite of Lilia, while he looks young but acts maturely she looks mature but acts like a complete child. Most believe she’s staff before she has to explain that she’s a student. She’s not a brat (thank sevens) but she is very naive and innocent. This causes for her dorm mates to become somewhat protective if someone makes a pass on her (she never notices cause she thinks they’re just being nice).

She has a talent with designing clothes, no one can explain why. Many have approached her to pay for her designs, but she refuses. She says she much prefers to just make and gift her designs to anyone. When she’s working, it’s the most mature you’ll see her. Everyone she’s interacted with has at least one thing she’s made, whether they wanted it or not.

Design Inspiration: Hook and Scarlet (the female animatronic from the pirate ride)

Birthday: Dec 25

Unique Magic: The Sea’s Rage (a passive ability that allows the user to access inhuman strength, allowing her to lift even Jack or Malleus)

Best Subject: None

Worst Subject: All

Hobby: Pick-pocketing

Homeland: The Savage Seas

Body Type: Flat (Looks average thanks to her corset)

Jessie is the dorm leader of Bonäuber, a dorm based upon The Captain of the Seas, who is held almost as high regards as the Great Seven. She’s a very childish and extremely cocky girl. She always praises herself for being the best out of everyone, when in actuality she’s not the brightest. The only thing she is good at she is shooting a gun, loving a good hunt. She also has a child fascination for board games, so she often plays (and loses) with Azul and Idia.

Most don’t like her because she has a bad habit of stealing from anyone and everyone. This is because of her hard childhood, having to steal to survive with no family. The Savage Seas, and the isles among it, were tough on those with no wealth. It wasn’t until a kind pirate gifted saved her from a beating and gifted her a gold coin, her first coin. She now wears the coin on her neck and vows to become a pirate as great as The Captain, using her loot to make others who were in her shoes to have a good life. Because of her ambitions, she always goes for the rich when looting, Kalim being her main target. But because of how nice and generous he is, she gets flustered and runs away without a single coin. (It’s really cute ngl)

As a dorm leader she’s overly not strict, the most she can be is over how clean the dormitory is. Uniform isn’t strict as well, only forcing those in the dorm to wear the striped shirt, vest, belt, bandanna, and boots. Bottoms can be anything, and the corsets were optional. Most dorm members were interestingly mostly females, which confused many.

Their dorm building is a functioning pirate ship, usually docked on a deserted island. Occasionally the dorm will go on an adventure, since most are those who love the sea and can’t stay in one place.

Design Inspiration: Smee and Tick Tock Croc (and maybe Louis from the princess and the frog)

Birthday: Oct 3

Unique Magic: When I’m Human (let’s the user take a human form with little drawback, like Kalim’s Oasis Maker. This slowly wears off if the user is over emotional, most commonly anger.)

Best Subjects: All

Worst Subjects: None

Hobby: Making tea and treats for Jessie

Homeland: The Savage Seas

Body Type: Hourglass (looks more exaggerated thanks to her corset)

Sammy (what Jessie calls her) is the vice dorm leader of Bonauber, she’s very mysterious and weird to most in the school. She’s always by the shorter girl’s side, and always takes care of her. She is a big enabler, sharing her ambitions with the leader. She’s very humble about her intelligence and abilities, often only giving praise to Jessie. She’s almost like a mother for the leader.

She’s secretly a crocodile that saved (and traumatized) Jessie when they were younger. As she saw the little girl run from an adult, causing the reptile to attack the adult. She didn’t know why, but at the time a sudden feeling of protecting for the girl took over. Ever since then the reptile was drawn towards the girl, almost obsessive. It wasn’t until she developed her unique magic that she stuck with the girl from childhood. Jessie never realized, as Sam is very keen on keeping the object of her affections(?) in the dark. If anyone threatens the two, Sam will open her eyes and glare with her slit pupils as scales appear faintly.

And that’s all of them! After posting this I’ll start working on two things.

1: cards, I want to draw cards for them as if they are canon characters. I’ll work on the school uniform cards first!

2: Grim’s human design, this one will be easier as he’ll just be a sketch.

Again, feel free to ask any questions! I’ll answer with in character sketches! (with more elaborating in artist’s text) I’ll try my best to answer as many of them as I can! You can also dm me if you wish to just talk about twst with me!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #twst self insert #twst ocs #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland self insert

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tellywoodtrash · 5 years

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Went and binged the rest of the week’s eps of Sanjivani...

... thanks to updates/messages sent to me by @ambar-pe-milte-hain (giving me some brilliant insight into the OG Sanjivani, since I didn’t watch that one) and I gotta say, I’m kinda hooked. Purelyyyyyyy for the senior characters of Shashank/Anjali/Juhi. They’re truly the most compelling part of the show. Mohnish as Dr. Shashank is the soul of the show, and I really hope he’s not going anywhere. He instantly elevates every single scene he’s in, no matter whom he’s sharing it with. The camaraderie he shares with every character we’ve seen him interact with (even the antagonistic Vardhan) is just head and shoulders above the rest of the show. His soft eyes and gentle jokes have me pulled in and I’m just so so so invested in him already.

I must admit that my brain has almost completely wiped DMG and its canon from the memory stores (probably a self-preservation technique) but I really don’t remember this much nuance to the Shashank/Anjali relationship in it. They touched upon a little of course (about Anjali’s initial resentment of Riddhima being Shashank’s pet), but I really don’t recall them going much into Anjali’s psyche about being the daughter of two very esteemed surgeons and the pressure she feels to live up to their legacy. They seem to be touching upon that nicely here, and Sayantani seems so apt for the role. She switches between petulant and sulky about her perceived oversight for COS, and soft and concerned daughter so seamlessly. (Gotta say, having been in her position IRL, it felt very authentic - the fear and trying to be strong and even the anger, all driven by an immense amount of helplessness and most of all, love. She truly captured it so well.) She has the most complex character in the show, oscillating in shades of grey - especially her complex wrt. Juhi; on an objective level, she knows Juhi is the best option given her expertise, but struggles on a personal level because she feels like her father respects Juhi more as a doctor than he does her. And she’s trying to make her peace with it in the current situation, but it’s simmering within her. I really really hope they do this character justice and don’t turn her into a caricature “villain” of some sort. (I live in the perpetual fear of my favt. female characters eventually being ruined by Tellywood. It’s mostly inevitable.)

I don’t know much about Juhi (beyond what’s on the Sanjivani wiki entry) but I’m already sold on her. Her trepidation/nervous excitement when coming back was palpable, and the way she instantly fell back into the easy bond she shares with Shashank, ugh my heart. Y’all know I’m a sucker for platonic bonds that are well done and I can already tell that Shashank/Juhi are going to be the relationship that hit the sweet spot for me, if all goes well in the show. I’m also intrigued at her life after the first show. (How did her career develop post-Sanjivani? Is she still with her husband? Do they have a family? I don’t want to SEE her personal life as such, but a mention to make the character’s background a little richer would be nice.)

Vardhan is almost comical in his villainy (that constant single AirPod, lmao - a surefire douche marker); surely a CFO has more to do than just keep sauntering around the hospital all day, making small talk and sidey comments to the medical staff? Rohit plays the slime well, but I’m just not into these kinda characters; they bore me with their one-note personalities. He’d be more interesting if he was actually what he said to Dr. Shashank - that they just have different POVs, but he does respect Shashank as a doctor and human being. But nope, he’s just a skeezy dude waiting to get the power he’s been kept from so far, by waiting for a well-respected and honest man to die. Gross. Also, what’s his equation with Anjali? I really really REALLY hope it’s not veering towards romantic. Anjali deserves someone way better (LIKE A GROWN UP DR. ATUL JOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Petition to have Pankit Thakker back in the role!)

Sid and Ishani and the other junior doctors remain side-eye worthy and the weakest part of the show. I only really liked them in their scenes with Dr. Shashank after they find out about his diagnosis. I hate Sid a little less (though I’m still not all the way over to actually liking him) because he seems to have a better balance of personality - mostly laid-back and chill (almost unnaturally so?) but appropriately somber when needed. (Namit is quite wooden-faced when not doing his signature smirk, but I’m holding out hope that he’ll get better in the coming weeks. He seems likable in the off-screen interviews and I’m counting on him loosening up as he grows more comfortable in the role.) Ishani still remains grating as ever, doing whatever the fuck as she pleases (SHE DID A WHOLEASS SURGERY WITHOUT DIAGNOSTIC SCANS, BASED ON A HUNCH?!?!?!? THE SECOND SURGERY OF THAT DAY WHERE SHE WENT AGAINST A SENIOR RESIDENT!!!!!), and mostttttt irritatingly, wasting time following any given senior in the hospital whether it be Anjali or Vardhan hellbent on getting someone to listen/validate her complaint about Sid. She may be a diagnostic genius (a little hard to believe that this first year resident has diagnosed 3, 4 cases - all of which successfully baffled her seniors - on her very first day) and has a “reason” for her being such a stickler for rules, but I really cannot sympathize with the character at all when watching the scenes. She’s just very unlikable as a person so far. I’m really hoping they mellow down her character a bit just so that I can tolerate her in the scenes Shashank isn’t there to temper her bellicosity. Asha is likable but her constant exasperation with “Babydoll” Ishani is kinda getting old. Rishabh is kinda whatever - doesn’t really make a big impression on me except that he seems to be some kinda personality combo of Sid + Vardhan, and I had to go look on Wikipedia to find the name of that resident doctor from Ep 1 who hasn’t been seen since (Kunal Bhan as Dr. Rahil Shekhar, in case you were wondering too.) I guess the other junior characters will enter next week, which already has me clutching my head coz lord, this show is going to be overcrowded as fuck. I sure as hell am not going to care about 70% of these characters and am going to get quite pissy when forced to watch them in lieu of the characters I am actually interested in.

The medical cases are largely boring so far; I was only invested in Shashank’s case this week. And next week seems to be ripped straight from Grey’s Anatomy with that impaled on a pole waala case. But because it’s Tellywood, there’s also some kinda random riot brewing that an ousted Sid comes and saves Ishani from (resulting in classic RK pose, of course), and Rishabh and Vardhan seem to be up to some nefariousness that I don’t really care for. So yeah, I’ll continue watching it for now and all, but with liberal fast forwarding. Won’t be writing on it unless I feel compelled to by a particular scene or something, but I’m open to discussing the show with you guys via asks, if you’d like to!

#sanjivani #sanjivani (new)#first impressions #tt reviews

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beatricebidelaire · 5 years

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There was a kind of comfort when she was with him. When she was with him, she could be just herself, and he would be her friend. Unlike with most people, she was a carefully curated mask, aiming to help, aiming to please, but never herself.

Perhaps it was because he understood the constant need to not offend others, to keep others happy, to try to offer help. Olivia was grateful to have him as a friend, could feel her shoulders slowly releasing tension when they were alone instead of having to talk to other people.

It was always weird to have someone genuinely like her as her, like her as a friend, not as a fortune teller or someone who they could gain information from. Sometimes she had the urge to tell him the story of her pre-teen years, when she had yet to join VFD. (Her parents died a little after that, and she was quickly swept in after their death.) She had the urge to tell him that it was always surprising that he would enjoy being friends with her, that anyone would enjoy being friends with her.

She’d known she was a little odd, growing up. Not fitting in. She was always so clueless about what the latest fashion was, about what everyone was talking about. It was okay, so she enjoyed different things, read odd books her classmates didn’t read, was bad at every kind of sport and did not know the popular singers others talked about. She liked her own interests and wouldn’t mind enjoying them on her own, even if it was a little lonely sometimes. But she’d always found solace in the books. Even if other people found her a little odd, she could live with that.

Except in the last two years of elementary school, when she transferred to another school, that she realized it became more than that. Her classmates didn’t just find her odd, they hated her and didn’t bother hiding that. They didn’t simply find her slightly weird - they hated her. She never really found out why - she hadn’t known then, and she still didn’t know now, years later. She did find out why they disliked one of her only friends at that time - because the other girl had hanged out with her.

Looking back, she couldn’t really remember exactly why they’d made her so scared at that time. When she tried to think back, her brain just went blank and refused to delve deeper into anything. It refused to load the memories. She was sure they’d never done anything physical - well, maybe a few threats about what they would do during dodgeball in PE class - but she’d managed to mostly avoid that. Plus, she was petite, that must made it a little harder to aim, right? She was sure she’d been scared and worried every day, she remembered at least 3 quarters of the class were one big friend group, and they all disliked her. She remembered her friend who stood by her despite making herself a target too - how did she ever deserve such loyalty, she didn’t know. It’d lasted till almost graduation but then suddenly two very prominent members of the gang had a large fight and then they were all taking sides and suddenly lost interest in her. She’d been thankful for that too, though she never found out what exactly caused the fight between them either. She was just grateful she could take a breath.

She had, in her adult years, tried many times to search her memories what they had done that terrified her preteen self so much, but her brain always refused to cooperate. She wondered if she’d just been too sensitive and too easily scared and too eager to be like that she couldn’t stand most of her classmates disliking her. At least they hadn’t done anything physical, she told herself. Maybe I had just been too sensitive, she told herself.

She still couldn’t remember.

She thought she once remembered more.

In her first few months in VFD, attending all the trainings, she’d been quietly relieved that at least in this new environment she wasn’t universally hated. She was still a little weird, but there were other people with their own rare interests too, and it felt a little safer, a little more comfortable - comparatively, anyway. One of her fellow new recruits at that time liked socializing a lot and somehow became friends with one of her previous classmates that disliked her.

She remembered, to this day, finding out about that and the new recruit wanting to introduce them to meet, and the way she had vehemently said no and burst into tears. She remembered being fucking scared at the thought and the new recruit had quickly agreed to not introducing them and didn’t bring it up again.

That was a memory that stayed.

The sudden panic again, the tears, after finding out about how someone in her current circle knew someone from her past circle who were part of a group that terrified her so much that even the idea of seeing anyone from that group again immediately made her burst into tears.

That was the memory that, whenever she thought back to her preteen years, that came to mind the most. Unlike what exactly happened that made her so miserable and scared back then which her brain always gave her a blank when she tried to remember, the crying of that day, already in VFD and no longer in the same class as those people, was a memory that seemed deeply etched and she didn’t know how to forget.

It didn’t make sense to her, but it was not like she understood much about how memories and brains worked either.

From then on, she did her best to avoid being dislike, did her best to please others. She didn’t need others to like the real her, as long as they didn’t hate her, she would take that. If they liked her - even if it’s her mask and not the real her - she counted that as a win.

If, in the rare case, they liked the real her, and was willing to be friends - like he was - she was always surprised and deeply grateful, in ways she didn’t often know how to articulate.

“Bertrand,” she began. Impulsively. “Could I tell you a story about the school I went to before VFD?”

He raised his head from his book. “Of course.”

#aaaaaahhhh i did not proofread anything and i don't know if this made sense in the context of book!olivia but well anyway #no one ever said projection had to make sense right? right? right??? ahahhahah who said anything about projection no i'm not projectingahaha #vera.txt #olivia caliban #ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im so sorry god idk if i write her well or not and i know there are other people who are bigger fans of her than me #so if the characterization sucks i'm sorry!!!!! i just felt she was the most fitting for what i need to get off my chest now #but instead of saying certain things i'm just going to write about fictional characters instead cuz thats what i do #im a fucking mess i don't know why i even wrote this but like its feels good to write things out even if its 4am and i have no idea what im #writing about it still feels good to write itout but like im super sleepy but i'm fine i'm over it yknow have been for many years #i just v v v ocasionally htink back and think about that one occurence of uncontrollable tears but like. detachedly you know. thinking detac #hedly. not affected. but anyway still felt like writing a fic about fictional characters so then i did ahahha it's just fanfic #character analysis. yknow. analysis. analysis!! character. thing. fictional. fandom. hahaha #etc #detachment in looking back memories! detachment. something something.#love being fine!#if you read all these tags i'm so sorry for wasting your time #time to post 10 posts out of my queue to forget i wrote this

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freshfromthegraveyard · 6 years

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Bullying.

Super random.

As a kid who was bullied less by other students and more so by teachers.

I was bullied for my brain not matching my exterior. Being an embassy brat, when I came to the US for school I often was and still act like a foreigner in my own country. But I am a blonde white girl. So this was never well received. Not grasping certain things was seen as an act, or attention seeking. If I had the nerve to correct a teacher on something about a country I lived in. I was shot down in a publicly humiliating manor to ensure I knew my place. If I looked like someone from that country I gurantee they would have actually opened up the floor for me to discuss my homeland.

When I did start gaining weight due to an emotional trigger. I did still for some reason always maintain confidence in other areas. Like I knew I was getting chubby and fatter. But was like meh, whatever I'm still smart, funny and can draw. Heck I'm still a beast in PE. Running sucks but I can still do other shit. So I wasn't always picked last. I still had friends. If my weight was mocked I kind of got it and was like yah I did get fat but I can loose it. I was always active so it was never hard to lose a lil chub. Sadly I did go way past chub into super fat town and man losing that shit was hard and daunting. Still was the same me no matter what school I went to. Still made friends.

The only people I got super offended by when they made fun of my weight was the teachers. Because again, your an Adult picking on a kid. That is a low blow a cheap shot. Remarkably my bad grades have nothing to do with being fat. I don't go home and be like oh donuts well no time for school work. I will always have a learning disability, and a massive sleep disorder. Meds do help. I hate being one of THOSE people who fall under the excuses department but it is like night and day. It is not as simple as stfu and pay attention. I even got mad at myself thinking I was dumb because of this. Like yup, those honors classes you take now are just because of the meds. Your actually an idiot. Why do you take those AND a special class, why do you still take your tests in the library or have to read in total silence? Your dumb that's why! So I went off my meds to prove a point. The point wound up being my grades dropped and everything was so much more of a struggle. The stress was awful. It was the stupidest thing I could have done to myself. But just in case other generations feel that learning disabilities are cop outs. Please know. They aren't. Infact some people get tested for adult learning disabilities and it changes their lives.

Anyway, on back to bullying.

At one school, when I was first gaining the weight. I still had friends. I was still given the frog eye because of my white girl forgienerism, thankfully at that time I was in a private school and the teachers did not bully me about it because new flash private schools get military brats. Though I always had to write papers on countries I hadn't been to. Good call actually.

But here is the kicker. Though my bullying did not really start until public schools. Again I cannot stress enough that what was done by teachers was far more damaging then anything some kid could say.

I did, possibly unlike some bullied.

I always noticed who else was bullied.

I'm an odd lil bird in that, while I could be entirely self absorbed and be all about me. I remember who and why other kids for bullied.

I bet most people will think since I got bullied for being plump I only root for body positivity of the plump sort. You couldn't be more wrong.

The ONE person who had it the worst at the private school, was a tall lanky girl. She wanted the same thing all us girls wanted. To be like the cool girls at the time. She was thin due to her incredible metabolism, and her height, she was shy, and due to being made stand out, only getting shier. She was one of the first people I remember talking on my first day of school other then Rosemary a girl who just was genuinely cute and nice. I've yet to meet a Rosemary who wasn't. I get a whisper from a fellow student not to talk to this thin girl too much. I'm like.....why? Their like, well she's just kind of strange. I'm like, I'm new, so logically I'm gonna be the resident strange kid for a while. But how is she strange exactly. She just seems quite. Their like exactly. I'm like, 11 and confused af. I'm like, wait why is being quite weird in a bad way? Before I could spit most of that out the teacher agree on my suggestion of being quite. Being a embassy brat, I had NO probably striking up new convos with perfect strangers. Ie kids at a school I just met. Before the hell that was HS. I was anything BUT shy. When you move around a lot you need to make friends fast. That and I was born not giving a shit and thinking I was the shit. Before the weight gain I assure you I was cute as hell with attitude to spare. So I was not entirely wrong.

I didn't let this why is silent bad thing go. I still talked to this mysterious thin girl. I sat with her at lunch. Prior to that I kept asking why her just being quite was bad. They said it just made them uncomfortable. I did ask the obvious of did it ever occur to you guys that you treating her weird makes her silent. Their like no she came that way. I couldn't argue because a lot of these kids did know eachother since kindergarten so ya know. They maybe right even if it is wrong. In case you have not guessed. Being raised an only kid, overseas you have bennies of being treated like an adult and being more logical then a kid the same age. Hence why I sound more adult in this story cuz I always was even if I still enjoyed childish endeavors *Like I still do*

Here is the heart breaker. The thin girl at lunch enjoyed my company. I made her laugh a lot that day and got her talking *novel concept when you reach out to someone* at the end of lunch though. She said, this was nice but ya know you shouldn't really hang around me the other kids will black ball you. I'm like yeah, I don't care. She's like no, you should. I appreciate it, but another group has tried and the other kids make life hard on them. I'm like well I extra don't care. I said your kind of in luck. I don't stay at schools very long so by the time they do that to me I will probably be moving. Plus being the new kid I will be resident weirdo for a while. I can play dumb for a long time and befriend the black balled.

I told her which, I don't get why. I said, being shy is the last reason someone should be pushed aside. Granted it took me a few times to get you to talk BUT I gotcha damnit *swearing in Catholic school woot* *at a whisper less woot*

So I made friends, with the very group she spoke of who had made efforts to friend her. I also was friends with other groups. Including 2 class clowns, 2 twin black girls who too me for forever to realize they were twins. I had one jerk kid who ironically was a pretty chubby dude to be so judgy about me being a chubby chick. But I still was friends with thin girl be damned. Needed a book shared in class and no one would share with her. ME! And don't be fooled our one class clown never had a homework buddy because surprise ppl thought he couldn't be serious. ME! I think the funniest thing that happened at that school was rainy day recess where class was divided up for games. Started up with normal dictionary teams. Then Okay Megan is really good at this, let's pair her with the one person who isn't. Okay still really good at this both drawing and guessing. Let's make the team's be class vs Megan. It's only fair. Sorry it still amuses me. My one glory day.

Back to bullying.

Though at the private school, bullying was far minimal. and kids really had to be imaginative. Since we all wore uniforms. Kids had to be like, well they make us laugh, but he's probably not serious about his hw. Woo. Wow. Lame. She's too quite. So lame. She's too smart. All of these are so damn lame. And let's face it none are bad qualities. Sorry the kid finds hw boring and is a quick whit. You actually have to be smart to be fast in humor. She's quite. So she's reserved and actually nice if you reach out. Your only too smart if you can't use your book sense.

Now, public school. Girl was made fun of for being too thin, having the nerve to go through puberty *ie acne* and also was very shy, if not stand offish, not dressing nice enough. If anything, id say she tried to look her worst regardless of what students said. I could go on about warning signs this child had. My mom caught them instantly. Did the school? NO

Turns out she was being molested by her stepdad. Like, srsly. My mom met her once and got it. Oy. So sad. I have a lot of guilt for not being able to communicate better with her though.

Anyway, another girl, got made fun of for having big boobs which she hated especially during PE. I don't blame her.

Yet another girl made fun of for being too thin. She was petite and had all brothers. So she was small and mean.

Another girl was shaped more like a guy and strong. She excelled in some PE sports but still made fun of.

Guys, same deal. If they had curly hair that's a pain to style. Chubby but not good at sports. And idky other kids care if you are good at grades or not? Like, we all have the same hw if you can spell congrats. Some ppl have dyslexia so ya know kindly fuck off.

Why does a grade make you popular or not?

It's odd to me. It's like, you need to get good grades but not TOO GOOD cuz then your too smart and it's also weird. Public school bullying. Lawd have mercy. Talk about a new level of awful.

Again, I was attacked publically by teachers. Who decided I was infact fat and stupid and somehow cheating at art?

I had art taken away from me as it was a distraction. Since I was bad at reading out loud all of my work was to be delivered in this fashion. I corrected a teacher on some foreign affairs, as he got locations, pronunciation, law, and well just a fucking lot wrong about a country I lived in for so long. I held myself back on so much but it was like he was getting everything confused with an entirely different country. For one thing he was still mentioning a city by it's old name. Like omg update

your book man!!! When I finally sad something he blew a stack and made sure everyone in the class was aware of how fat and ignorant I was.

When I told my parents. Boy did they come undone. At the parent teacher conference this same teacher said "if Megan would put down the donuts and study this wouldn't be an issue" yah my dad pinned him to a wall by his neck. Mind you this was after he had already

Made repeated digs at me, my family, and pretty much anything we could stand for. My parents also made the argument that if a student was a concert pianist or a ballet dancer. Would they take away their craft? No. So why take away my art? Both piano and ballet are considered art. Needless to say this battle of the teachers vs parents and all the horrible things they said and did was not over. Two shrinks were involved, and the state was called in. Their shrink and our shrink. The shrinks wound up agreeing and asked the state to come in for a learning disability test. Hence me first getting diagnosed. The shrinks also needed the teachers to understand something. They brought my mom in, since the one teacher now feared my father *not that my mom couldn't take him* the teachers sat down, the shrinks showed them pics of me thin and active and the dates. They show me chubby then thin again due to being an active kid. They then ask when my recent weight gain started. My mom didn't even hesitate she just took off her wig from cancer to reveal her bald head and said about when this happened. She said she was studying to finalize some culinary school work at a local college. She said she knows her daughter felt food was an emotional way to be close to her. My shrink said. Sometimes fat is better then too thin. You can lose fat. You can't undo the damages of too thin if bulimia sets in.

So you'd think the teachers would back off. Ha. No. That one male teacher persisted that everyone has problems and I needed to suck it up. I was now all of 12. He loved making fun of me. I also noticed, though I was his favorite to pick on. I was not alone. He hated anyone who could not read out loud flawlessly. He hated anyone who was not athletic and bragged about his triathlons to this day I get an eye tick around the word. Friend of mine was a solid A student. Read flawlessly outloud. But guess what she had some small kid pudge on her. The second her history teacher went into his class. There goes her straight As. She got a B- in his class. Never on tests with multiple choice, just written work and general performance. Ya know subjective stuff. Not shady at all. Mom got wind and had enough. She sat in his class one day. In my friends class no less. Not mine on purpose. She sat their and made fun of him the way he did us. She's like hey kids, I know this guy makes fun of all the students. Let's make fun of him the same way. Isn't he kind of short? Like really short. I met his wife, he must use a step ladder to kiss her. He's also bald. Notice how he only keeps pictures of himself in tight triathlon clothes or old pics with long hair. Think he's compensating for something?? Who keeps pics of themselves on their desk!?! My husband has his family. Self centered much?

And what's with those triathlons anyway?

We notice you hate fatties. Were you a fatty? Do you run from calories? Did a fatty break your heart? What is it? Why do you hate them So? She's like, actually, it doesn't matter. Whatever your problem is it should not be taken out on children. My mom continued. She's like, ya know why he picks on you kids. One your the only people smaller then him. Two he is to cowardly to stand up to other adults. My husband pinned him against a wall and his eyes nearly popped out of his head from terror. Yeah. All talk this little fart. He obviously was livid talking over her saying she can't do this, he's calling the cops for trespassing.

Apparently when she opened the room up to the kids to pick at him they had a bunch of weird shit they noticed he does. One kid said he's just jealous because everyone likes his wife as a teacher better. That's why he made her stay home with the kids or keep having a kid. She's like everyone liked her? Whole room was like best teacher award every year!

Lol this dude didn't speak for days he was just fuming. It got better when, guess what my mom met his wife and put on her best cute, sweet innocent lady routine. I remember walking to our truck, douche teacher behind me. *cuz of course I had to stay after in his class for some kind of punishment*

His wife was all smiles at my mom, looked over at him with such a look. My mom had an evil smile looking at him like. Checkmate mother fucker. I sat in the truck, waiting for her. Dressed daper. Smiling. She sets behind the wheel, we drive off. She's like well we tried the proper channels first. He made me play dirty but I assure you the war is over.

So, turns out, his wife was a loved teacher BECAUSE she had a lot of patience for her students and taught both standard and kids with learning disabilities. So to say she was understanding is an understatement. I mean, my mom didn't know this when speaking to her. It was actually a whim, when she saw her while waiting to pick me up and just got to talking.

Anyway, the point of this INSANELY long post.

Is as a kid that was not so much bullied by peers as much as by teachers. I also was not always bullied about my weight as much as just being considered an attention seeking liar THEN my intelligence and weight was thrown in for extra damage.

It is true, the book by its cover. I am still a foreigner in a American white girl body. I still have some wires crossed. I still don't know all customs or referrences. My spelling is bad. My accent isnt. Family was 2 people. My perspective is Global. Africa, Asia, an American Farm is my background.

Bullying, just cuz I got fat. Doesn't mean I didn't see the people who got made fun of for being too thin. Before I stopped struggling in school. I noticed kids got bullied for their grades. As if the school and parents are not going to add enough pressure. If you have a talent that is not a sport or a musical instrument. You are not of value. Which is funny in a society that worships actors and models. All of whom rarely look a thin like they look like now in school.

There have been a lot of school shootings over the years. I remember when Columbine happened.

Remember early on in my status of the thin girl? Regardless of people telling me again and again that I would be some social pyria for being nice to her. I still did it. Over and over. I did more to make myself look stupid then she ever could have. Nothing ever happened to me because of her. Even if it had. I wouldn't have cared. Because I had a friend in her. We would at least be weirdos together was my logic.

If you make the effort. More then once. Because some shells are really hard to crack. Because some people have been hurt a lot. At least you tried. In COLLEGE none the less. My roommate and I met quite possibly the most socially awkward creature alive. We tried repeatedly to make friends or at least make peace with this creature. To no damn ivale. Senior yr this person asked me why no one likes them. I told them that wasn't fair because we all have made efforts to involve them in groups, shinnangans, hang out, we even through JUST them a birthday party. We have all made the effort. It's a two way street. I said basically you want friends like robots. You want us to turn on when you want us and power down in an instant when you are done with us and offer nothing in return. You also cannot be rude to ppl and expect forgiveness when there is really no foundation or trust built. We can say honest things because we know that friend is a friend and is sincere and cares for our best interest. You tend to think blurting out something offensive saying no offensive it's just my opinion and smiling is some how okay. It's just awkward.

So in that particular occassion. 4 years. My friend and I, as well as others. Genuinely tried to make friends or something with this person. Some people just want or view friendship differently. They may find a perfect fit later who is not you. But DAMNIT you tried. With bullying I just want people to reach out.

And if you see someone IN THE PROCESS of being bullied. Get off your ass and intervene.

Believe it or not, confusion is a great tactic.

Say 3 ppl are picking on a kid at lunch in your school. You could approach and interupt. You do not have to get personal. If they pick on you next. Point that out. Like what tools they are that that is all they can do. Bring friends over to help break it up. Honestly when I say confusion is a great weapon I mean it. Make up gibberish and start talking like that. Speak another language the bullies won't know. Anything that will just frustrate them and make them leave. Essentially your goal is to not engage with them, be as annoying as possible and make them leave. Another strategy is to be as agreeable as possible, so sickeningly friendly that they also lose their momentum. Gauge your situation, the energy and see which would work best. They sound absurd but diffusing a situation is far better.

The key is, don't sit by and let someone suffer.

Don't join in. Also guess what. As juicey and fun as gossip seems especially in school. Guess what, it's usually lies and incredibly harmful. If you partake you are an accessory to bullying. Shocking I know.

Learning how stop gossip in it's tracks when you are young is a great life lesson.

Sadly you will run into gossip at all stages of life. So stopping it, ...as best you can. When your young. Can safe a life!

The thing about gossip. If people don't have good dirt on someone, they will make shit up. Movies like Mean Girls and Easy A point this out. I've heard gossip about myself or friends and some is almost laughable how ridiculous it is. But going up to someone and being like hey is it true this that or the other. Or treating them different all of a sudden. As if we also don't hear the whispers.

Gossip is just a form of bullying. So think about it as being an accessory to a crime. It is equally as serious. Like a crime, you have the power to stop it.

So many people talk of the mass shootings, what about the kids who are as young as 8 taking their own lives due to bullying.

I really cannot stress enough, to please, if you see someone being bullied. Help that victim in the moment. Step in, bring back up. Be confusing. Be nice. Be whatever it takes to save a life or lives.

Also it is clear the bullying is caused from something. Usually bullies are being bullied themselves or have some sort of problem.

I remember reading one story of a bully who came unhinged over the smallest thing. Would lie in wait and actually burned another child with scalding hot water. Now that story was a case for mental illness. Which brings me to a situation. If a person is a bully and being bullied by someone else. Like another sibling, a parent, or so forth. That is rough because really not everyone can afford counseling which is what that would require. Next if someone is displaying violence due to a mental illness that too would require counseling, psychiatric and possibly medication down the road. All expensive.

It's not fair that mental healthcare of any kind is a luxury. When no one chooses to have mental health issues. Most insurance companies only allow so many visits. Not nearly enough to scratch the surface of a garden much less the human mind. Plus if medication was involved, that is such an arguous process. Any mental health medication is a huge battle of trial and error and all medications take a while to get into your system. For one to be properly judged for mental health, has to be in your system long enough for you to have had your moods elevated. Essentially were you challenged at all in 6 months time? Did you have a reason to get angry, or be depressed. Anything to trigger mood swings to see how the medication altered your brains reaction.

I mean damn. That is a lot to wait for, and rarely does the first shoe fit.

After working in a local ER. I realized how sad, and how many holes are in our health care system. How long people have to wait to see anyone. How long for a room to become available. How short your treatment is.

At the same turn. When you come across none feeling bullies. The type they tell young kids to kill themselves. That hound them every day and night. Stalk them on any outlet they can find. Because they have nothing better to do then bring one person misery. When do they become accountable?

I do believe some bullies need help to stop the cycle. I also believe some have shown signs that they live a charmed life, are not bullied themselves and show no signs of a mental illness. They have admitted to just being board. *maybe the mental illness is in the path family ;>_>*

Anyway, for those few bullies that qualify. I just wonder if they should be held accountable for say a wrongful death. If the person they taunted or catfished killed themselves.

I often think that because bullying has no consequences that that is why it continues.

That if it had something truly scary to face. Maybe then kids would cut the shit.

We all know, those who have been bullied. That if you talk to an authority figure. Absolutely NOTHING happens. You still get bullied.

ladies. Hahaha isn't that rich?

And what of those rare occasions where those teachers where beaten by students on a gang like scene? What then?

Or in reverse in my situation? Where I was bullied for the majority of my life BY the faculty. Who do I turn to in a school and say, your staff is picking on me?

My last job had a bullying situation.

It was unbelievable to watch unfold. It wasn't even in my department per say. In the employee handbook it said they took bullying seriously. They had a senior staff member who was a out of control bully. She had great work history, but I guess her head got too big. She bullied everyone something awful and they lost countless people due to it. Here's the thing, while she did EVENTUALLY get fired for bullying. It took a while. A lot of new employees where very honest about why they were leaving. Many current employees made it known that all the reasons things never progressed or moral was low was bullying. Apparently this was brought up in staff meetings but went no where. It finally came to a head when they got a new boss on the floor, and a long time employee moved from one department down to that one. I guess her statement was more believable then that of new employees saying I'm leaving because I was bullying.

The thing that bothers me is. A why would a new employee lie? A new employee wants to fit in. They want to do there best. They have to learn the motion of the ocean real quick. They wanted that job. I doubt they wanted to leave that job so quickly. For one it never looks good on a resume. Do you know how defeating it is to be bullied that bad into leaving?

That is why I find it sad they did not listen to the previous statements. I understand that for a bullying case to stick. I guess they needed plenty of evidence. I know they certainly had it.

But in the case of schools. A friend of mine teachers whee toddlers. From babies to 3yr olds. And she has told me how early they start bullying.

Back to my statement on whether it's mental illness, they are being bullied elsewhere or if nothing at all is wrong. Are factors. Because listening to her. She has seen all three that young already and it's like wow if you can catch it that early. Again we could save lives on both sides of the situation.

Sorry random memory lane. Coupled with some random thoughts about current events.

#bullying #mass shooting #stop bullying #suicide #help #overseas #mental health #children #teens #young adults #gossip #don't be assholes #morel of the story

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