#(so i've been holding off on doing that)

[sergle]

I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin. #but for now. #I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color #and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural #and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares? #recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural #and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring #and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently #the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart #and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural #he was behind the curtain like FUCK #taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup #that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl. #they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?) #ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol #so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO #other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace #and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!'' #this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell #and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins #he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home #flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish #and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.

[harbingersecho]

RVBtober 6 > favorite character Colonel Sarge

all rise for the flag 07

#red vs blue #rvbtober #colonel sarge #sarge #rvb #mine #*23 #i wasnt gonna do this day bc i've been drawing locs so much already but then i was just. hey. you love sarge too right? he's ur special guy #and he is. no face reveal for YOU tho. showing sarge's face feels kinda like showing wrench's face. like hey now this is rly intimate #like a victorian woman showing ankle. #also sarge's transgender energy is off the charts. didnt feel like drawing the tattoos tho i hate doing tattoos but they're so cool #crazy mechanist leather biker sarge ftw btw. i rly do believe in that. #his two sons are holding up the flag. simmons is off smooching with the enemy (grif) and he will cry abt this later and write abt it in his #diary that he pretends doesn't exist. they're also setting off fireworks inside that he has to clean up #theyre taking his grindr profile pic or whatever. red army recruitment. whatever u want.

[kerimcberry]

MC is just in a constant state of confusion the first couple days. I love it lol

#Lyla gif dump #I do have some art in queue ready to go but most of it is Christmas related so thats why I've been holding off 😅 #It's nice to take a break with some video games though #Please stay tuned! #lyla estaris

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

everybody please consider the fact that solaris is probably a native swiss-french speaker with me okay??

#ieytd #commander solaris #i've known for months that she's probably a french native but i just learned yesterday that french and swiss-french have unique quirks #like. swiss-french sounds more antiquated because they use a lot of words that classic-french has replaced with modern equivalents? #also apparently classic-french people find swiss-french accents unsexy. SAD. dw solaris they're so wrong. and youre so sexy okay?? #your voice? solaris? #i have a comic i would make abt this concept but i've been holding off on it bc i'm trying to decide whether it would be worth it to- #-actually use french (a language i do not know) or to bite the bullet and translate it into english so i don't. mess up the french. #i guess you'll see if i make it

[h0estar]

dawg, one thing abt me is that i've always been an advocate for yukine and yato's happiness.... so i'm just curious.... WHEN EXACTLY WILL ADATCHITOKA PAY FOR THEIR CRIMES AGAINST THIS KID AND HIS SILLY SELF-PROCLAIMED DAD 😭 LET MY BOYS REST MAN DAMN

#NO BC THIS ABSOLUTELY WRECKED ME #YUKINE HOLDING ONTO YATO AFYER HE SAW HIM FADING AWAY I CANT DO THIS #BRO HAS JUST BEEN THROUGH IT AND NOW HE'S GONNA LOSE BOTH YATO AND HIYORI AT THE SAME TIME ATCYALLY GONNS #naw i gave up on the direction of this manga ever since father decided to create his lil nation #i ABSOLUTELY DISLIKE THE DIRECTION THEY WENT FOR #and SEKKI SHOULD'VE FINISHED OFF FATHER NOT HAKKI I SAID WHAT I SAID #but anw LET MY BOY REST FR HE'S BEEN THROUGH SM SHIT ADATCHITOKA U CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY W THIS #i'm actually sobbing this part hurt me sm 😭 #noragami #yato #yukine #noragami spoilers #i still love noragami despite the writing. i've just been way too emotionally invested in the story and characters for years #save my boys bro #they've had enough fr #no bc wHAT HAPPENED TO YATO 😭 #ion even wana think abt it bro. i see nothing but tragedy and absolute pain in the next & last chapter #adatchitoka is so gracious giving us a whole month to prepare for what's to come 🥰 #man i hope yato is okay 😭 i doubt it tho 😭😭😭😭😭 #mine

[sciderman]

i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone

damn son save some for the rest of us!!

#sci speaks #i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful. #oh the people with hyperactive hearts... #i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet. #holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on. #i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out. #is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet. #i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell. #so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them. #not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think. #i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way. #squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy. #i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either. #and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it. #lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want. #is love the answer? #i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it. #i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out. #why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something. #i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy. #like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy. #is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think. #i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life. #i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but. #you can get money back. you can't get your time back.

[lovelaceisntdead]

The binding of Mabel has Begun.

#I've printed half of the signatures of the first book. #it will be fourteen in total which i think is the biggest book I've bound? #worries me a little because i may have to round it which i don't really want to do. #don't love the paper I'm using but I need to use it up and I'd rather do it on something I'm not selling #i still have no idea what I'm doing for the cover. haven't even decided on how I'm going to bind it. #i was really hoping the inspiration would have struck me at this point but no luck #i want the two volumes to match but i don't want them to be the same #i think I'm going to hold off on the second book in case we do ever get another season #two volumes the same size will look nicer. and be easier. #been out of the book binding groove for a while so it's nice to ease back into it #even if formatting was HELL i don't know how you fic binders do it #bookbinding #mabel podcast

[anglerflsh]

hope i don't come off too intrusively but that all sounds like the qualifications for ocd! or at least anxiety with obsessive compulsive tendencies which would require the same medication, i would go get that checked out!

lovely sentiment but- I'm not going to say for certain I have any kind of Thing going on with my brain without having gotten either a professional (psychiatric) opinion or a professional (peer reviewed by people with that disorder) opinion, and since at the moment I can't go to any doctor about it... it'll stay a mistery + I won't be getting meds any time soon

#anonymous #[.asks] #Like i have been told by a big enough mumber of people that I'm very likely to be autistic and ive done extensive research on that #so I'm okay with- with saying that #but for ocd I know quite little and I've only been told by one or two people- so. I'm holding off on that. #+ my parents keep withdrawing the information about my gp so i couldn’t even go that route if I tried #and i dont trust uni counseling services that much... #I'll hold off and deal with the 'I can't do this it's Intrinsically Wrong and I will Throw Up if I try' and all that. On My Own #I do think it's funny when people try to tell me I have ocd online. You don't know the half of it. I had a panic attack over a stained shirt #<-lasted an hour NOT in the 'im sooo ocd i hate messes' way in the i was going to kms if I didn’t buy a clean shirt way

[sskk-manifesto]

(´･ᴗ･ ` )

#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show… #Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk. #Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die. #I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me. #I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time... #Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply. #Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it #(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author). #Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry. #Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative #“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging. #Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia. #The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.) #Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)– #bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them– #and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)– #stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?) #I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild). #But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking. #I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further… #But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views– #and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything #That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry) #so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt. #Tune in next week for more bad takes #random rambles

[aphelea]

i finally watched good omens and am now a little bit obsessed with it holy shit

#no ok because ive been putting off watching it for SO LONG and i'm???? #hold on. supernatural....good omens....do i have a type #i've had the book sitting around but haven't gotten around to reading it yet. but now i'm thinking i should #no ok but y'all were right this show is really good holy shit #wait lmao my type in shows is literally just 'holy shit' #sorry. bad joke #august rambles #i'm using the time that i should absolutely be using for studying to read and watch random things that i've been putting off for years #so uh. drop suggestions i guess?

[cookinguptales]

I'm dying, I had another fandom breakup several years ago where I also poured my frustration into a deeply pornographic fic.

The main differences are:

different fandom, obviously

this was actually one of the last fics I ever wrote for that fandom, it really was a kiss off. the only fics I posted after it were just me finishing up some prior obligations.

I actually wrote it and posted it, as opposed to the pornographic vent fic I was writing for wwdits that I set aside for now.

I APPARENTLY POSTED IT TO TUMBLR FIRST?

I know this because someone just reblogged it (and said some really kind things, thank you ;;) and I had completely forgotten that I'd been so deep in my fit of pique that I was like "well this is vent fic that I wrote to cope with my frustration towards canon, not REAL fic, so I should post it to tumblr, not AO3."

At first I was just laughing over the sheer timing of it all, someone digging up this ancient post with like 25 notes from many years ago the exact same week that I'm having angst over the fandom I replaced the old one with, but then I actually clicked on the post in my notifications and was like.

wait.

did I.... post a sixteen-thousand-word fic to tumblr?

I DID. AND PEOPLE READ IT??? like that's the fucking wild part, that people were willing to sit down and read a fucking sixteen-thousand-word fic under a read more on tumblr. people were so strong back then.

(thankfully, I was convinced to crosspost it to AO3 a few days later, which actually made the fucker readable.)

the sheer ridiculousness of my tantrum (and my weird internal classification for what fic "deserved" to be on AO3 vs. what should just quietly be forgotten on tumblr) has me laughing. which I think was actually kind of needed, haha. we all need to laugh at our own fandom angst sometimes.

if I do end up finishing and posting the wwdits ventfic, I promise I'll actually post it on AO3. lmao

#writing liveblogging #kind of wild how my nandermo sex pollen/potion fic morphed over the course of the season in my head #from a silly 'oh we thought we were dosed with sex pollen so we've been fucking for two weeks but it actually wore off after an hour' fic #to a fic about what you do when you realize the truth about your relationship #and what it means to hold a secret that will destroy everything you love #(i.e. mirroring Guillermo finding out they've been fucking because they're into each other not because they were drugged #and the vampire bite secret) #and finally becoming a fic about struggling to forgive someone who wronged you even if they didn't mean to #and how knowing what you don't want isn't the same thing as knowing what you do want #and ultimately a lot of makeup sex #and a relationship that is severely damaged but perhaps salvageable #I HAVE GROWN... AND SO HAS THIS FIC... lmao #but I realized I was just stressing myself out more so instead I drank some pumpkin beer and wrote meta for another show #and downloaded phoenix wright #and here we are #maybe I'll finish it once I've chilled out some and maybe I won't #that's life I guess

[noxvee6]

So ready to say "fuck it" to my anxiety and just completely change my appearance the way I've wanted to for literal

YEARS

#nox rambles #mess around with my hair #get more piercings #dye my hair #tattoos #so many things I've been holding off on just bc of “well what if ppl question it” #man fuck that #if I like it I need to just let myself to do it #ofc I might not like it #but it's been literally YEARS I've sat on these ideas #I should just do it instead of continuing to overthink it XD

[seariii]

I was stressed but now i'm more chill and really sleepy...

#overall my mood has been better but i am so incredibly terrified of the future... its like.... #like i feel as if someone has holding me at gun point and got told thst if i did any mistakes they would shoot #but then im not given clear instructions on what i need to do and i have to figure it out myself #i am really scared... even tho all of this gave me a new objective... i dont wanna be obsolete... #... so... that what we will work on... also... i wanna work towards my dreams... #I've been putting it off for so long i want to do it #people support me and actually enjoy my voice... i want to... #the things on my plate right now are things i can achieve... but i want more... i want things i actually want... #i want... #my house has a constant buzzing sound. i believe its because of the small power plant behind the lot. which makes it difficult for recording #since i have to get rid of that and that messes with the rest of the audio #its comforting to know it wasnt the mic tho... heh... #tomorrow lets try to take the first few steps... well more like lets try to continue with the set up #we have already a couple stuff but we still have a lot missing... #... today the girls said some stuff that impressed me... thats how im perceived?... is that what people think of me? #i kinda want to... fulfill those 'expectations'... they dont expect anything but its more of a me thing... ive been dreaming and hoping for #so long but i dont take the next step. i never do... and its because of the executive dysfunction... but... once i get the hang of it... #once i do... everything will be excellent... and we will take it easy #i am so tired already... i feel im gonan falla sleep #seari talks

[razzek]

This is going to be hard to find so, to anyone else who was on James Somerton's Patreon until last night, can anyone help me find out the sources of his Revolutionary Girl Utena video? I really enjoyed that and I'd like to give whoever he got it from some love.

#james somerton #revolutionary girl utena #utena #hbomberguy #I'm so bummed out about this and The Completionist #two people I enjoyed and somewhat looked up to turned out to kinda be a pair of tools #and that sucks #I'd love to say I thought james was iffy but I don't have the brain space to pay that kind of attention #thought some things he'd say were kinda off and weird but I'd forget and do other shit #well that's patreon money I'll never get back but oh well it is what it is #anybody wanna support a blind queer artist who will inevitably yell about something you personally object to? :D #I can't hold myself back as any long time friends well know XD #and I've been shit on for just about everything under the sun by fandoms I'm in #promise I don't plagiarise at least I ain't got time or head space for that kind of shit XD #and I won't misgender people or shit on fujoshis and women who are exploring their identities through fandom

[icedmetaltea]

My mom: Oh yeah I'll come and pick you up once the summer semester's over! (Aug 1) it'll be alright :)

My mom: Actually at the end of next week :) (this week) I know you're struggling to take care of yourself but can you just wait a few more days?

My mom: Um actually could we hold off till Monday? On Sunday I have to do a talk at church. Maybe Tuesday actually since I have to make a stop midway :) :)

#irl stuff #vent #I've been holding on and holding on and holding on #for what? #she just keeps putting it off #now my cat's acting sick and I'm worried about him #which is doing nothing good for my anxiety #and my ex-friend tried to friend me on discord so I'm feeling a huge rush of emotions again #I hate this

[sysig]

It always seems like such a good idea in the moment (Patreon)

The first four are in reference to a great idea I had of - since I’ve finished my lower-limit page number testing for making books; shorter fics take up less page space, and just increasing the font size isn’t as handsome! - simply making a mini book! All it would take would be to halve the pages again, right? Just cut them right down the middle! Easy peasy!

As I’m sure you can tell by the second, no. Not easy peasy. Difficult painful un-fun >:(

Obviously I still did it tho! What do you take me for, someone who could have the idea of an even tinier book and then not do something about it?? No It’s also the only one so far to have a paper bookmark rather than a ribbon!

All told it’s a bit smaller than your average manga (I love the monochrome covers on these under their dust jackets haha <3) - you can see even with effectively doubling up the pages by halving their size, it was still very small-spined!

A quick shot while it was still being made hehe ♪ It’s Out! Paired here - and the earlier one, just without its dust jacket haha - with my Zarla SC2 collection (ft. Family, Negotiations are Going...Well, and With No Obligation) - I absolutely kicked myself after the fact for not including Out as the run-up to everything, I was really trying to make a full collection in probably-chronological order! Out would’ve been a perfect start! And it only would’ve taken like four pages!!

Ah well, it was still quite a learning experience - I probably wouldn’t make another standalone of under 4k-ish just for formatting reasons but I did get some good ideas of how to do so if I wanted to! Although, my next project is going to be even more of a formatting nightmare........I’ll get there when I get there! Lol

#Doodles #The impulsive thoughts are always the funnest! But then it's all a matter of actually putting them into reality... #Ahh well like I said under the cut it was a learning experience! And I really wanted a physical copy of Out haha ♪ #I don't think I've ever mentioned it - not even in my pre-fic notes :0 - but Out was another one of my inspirations for Drinking Game #I mean - the drinking lol obviously but I hadn't considered what VUX drinking would be like before reading it :) #I wanted to pair it with both physical copies hehe ♫ I'm happy I attempted it! And I have a better foundation to build on in the future! #I ended up using the scrap leftover from making such a small cover as the bookmark haha - and I picked the covers so they'd almost-match :) #They go together! But not quite! Just enough! #The sting of creation has worn off - it's actually been a while since I've made a quick book! - so the itch is starting to come back haha #Well - almost lol - the formatting is still........but I do want to do it! Especially now that I've got a hand-in-hand hobby to go with it #All that later ♪ For now snakes! #And also spiders I am also the same when spiders #I've been escorting a lot of spiders outside lately and pretty much all of them fall under the moniker of ''darling'' to me lol #Still no luck on finding a jumping spider :( But I also haven't got an enclosure set up yet either #There's this one booth that always has such adorable and pretty jumping spider enclosures ahhh I might have to break and get one someday #Same place where I got to hold the snake in fact! :D She was a love <3 Beautiful full-grown female cornsnake if memory serves #She was rather wiggly - she was tired and fussy and didn't feel like being handled by a stranger but she was so polite about it #A real delight to handle <3 And I got to see her babies! So cute and tiny! #The rest is more SCII fic stuff haha ♪ Rereading the Pirate fic was a lot of fun :) Intentionally avoiding Vargas fic(s) does make me a bit #Well I really like Vargas still lol it is candy to my brain so any gesture even remotely in that direction is very exciting haha #I'm perfectly happy with the rest for now tho! I have plenty of things to read and make! >:3c #Heck there's still a SCII fic I haven't read yet that I want to!! I just have to get all my previous SCII thoughts out of my head first haha #I will tho >:3c Always always ♪♫ #SCII