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#(this is from my ''not rent or essential food'' budget. i am Responsible.)
counterspell · 3 years
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self care is buying a little cardigan with strawberries on the sleeves for half your paycheck
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maren-as-an-adult · 3 years
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The 2020 Experience, Part 4
December was...rough. Every free moment I had was spent looking for better paying jobs and more apartments. Christmas gifts were planned and purchased under extreme budget. I had an upcoming OB-GYN appointment. And the accumulated stress finally broke me physically and mentally.
I started noticing it when I had my OB-GYN appointment. My appointment wasn’t until 4:30pm, but I wanted to get some Christmas shopping done, so I took an early train into Atlantic Terminal to do some shopping in and around Barclay’s Center. I didn’t have breakfast before I left, so I grabbed a latte and a slice of iced lemon cake from Starbucks. There were some benches outside where I sat down and ate. Afterwards, I hit up Target and Marshall’s. Once I was in line for Marshall’s, I started feeling... off. I could feel my pulse rushing in my face, and my stomach felt simultaneously empty and twisted upside down. I couldn’t tell if I felt like I was going to vomit or poop, or if I was just really gassy and needed to fart. I made it through purchasing and left to sit down somewhere, anywhere. I think I settled down in front of either TJ Maxx or Burlington on the ground. I pulled my knees into my chest, waiting and hoping for this feeling to pass. After about 15 minutes and no change, I knew I needed to find a bathroom. And in COVID times, I had a better chance of finding a four-leaf clover growing out of the concrete than a public toilet I could access.
Target, however, was my savior. Having purchased from them earlier, I happily took advantage of their open and clean bathroom facilities. I won’t go into too much detail, but I will say I spent a long time on that toilet trying to feel better. Eventually I had to move on, and I decided I would go outside and get as much fresh air as I could, hoping that would somehow cure me of this... whatever feeling it was. It helped, or at least that’s what I told myself as I slowly sipped water from my water bottle. I tried to make one last stop at one last shop before heading down to Bay Ridge for my OB-GYN appointment, but after two instances where I was forced to sit down again and wait for the feeling to pass to something barely more manageable, I decided the best course of action would be to arrive exceptionally early to my appointment and hope they had an unoccupied bathroom I could access.
Thankfully, they did. I somehow managed a thirty minute train ride, a ten minute wait for the bus, a ten minute bus ride, and a ten minute walk to the doctor’s office, where after filling out a few forms I retreated to their very clean single occupancy bathroom. I felt awful and wanted something done about it, so I open mouth breathed while kneeling in front of the toilet bowl for a while. It’s a technique I use when I feel like I may throw up and want to encourage my stomach to expel whatever’s clearly upsetting it. [I also wish to take this moment to make this very clear: I am not, nor have I ever been, bulimic. I don’t endorse or condone bulimia. I’m sure it’s very easy to read what I just wrote as inducing vomiting to purposefully purge, but it is not. I was not trying to make myself vomit, but I was prepared for that to happen should my body have decided that’s what it needed to do.] What ended up happening was about five minutes of dry heaving before my body apparently decided that because there was nothing there, that nothing was wrong anymore.
What was wrong with me? I hadn’t interacted with anyone who was sick, had I? I had recently started babysitting, could I have gotten something from one of the kids? Was I not as diligent as I thought I’d been with maintaining social distance and wearing a mask and sanitizing and washing my hands? Or was it something else? All I’d had to eat that day was some processed cake and a sugary latte, could I possibly have developed celiac disease overnight? Was my body finally shutting down it’s lactose-digesting functions? Was I just really overcaffeinated because I forgot to specify “half-caf” in my Starbucks order?
I posited these queries to my doctor while she poked around my vagina. She said it was possible I could be lactose intolerant or I could be crashing from the caffeine. When the staff had taken my temperature I wasn’t running a fever, so it wasn’t likely I’d caught anything off of someone. With a final fingering to gauge the position of my uterus (I learned it has a slight anterior tilt), my appointment was done and I was free to go home. Though I felt better, I decided against calling on my old roommates and to instead just head back to Graham’s. I made one last gift purchase before hopping on the LIRR, and my Christmas shopping was essentially done.
The feeling didn’t disappear though, and on some days it became unmanageable. My GI system was clearly in distress, and not a lot was helping. I found a few packs of ginger turmeric tea at Graham’s house and made myself a cup, firmly placing my faith in the healing properties of what some (uncultured) people call “hot leaf juice”. I think it helped, but I can’t be sure. I’d told Graham about what was going on and what I thought it could be, and he could sympathize and to a degree empathize. It wasn’t until one night when I was again dry heaving into a toilet bowl that Graham fully saw what an awful state I was in. I told him at this point I thought it was a manifestation of the stress we’d been under for the past eight weeks. For eight weeks we’d been searching for apartments, passing on nice ones just out of our budget, trying to come to terms with the infinite number of mediocre same-floor plan, same-color, same-appliances, same-building looking ones, and getting discouraged with the shitty, falling apart ones. I had spent my first Thanksgiving away from my family and had resigned myself to spending Christmas apart from my family for the first time as well. I’d had three separate COVID tests in the past two months. I hadn’t spoken to my therapist since before Thanksgiving. And I had spent the entire month at Graham’s family’s house, which was not something I had wanted.
I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. Truly, I’m indebted to Graham’s mom for letting me not only stay with them rent-free (but agreeing to walk their dogs) but also keep my stuff there while she is also getting ready to move out. But I have never felt comfortable calling someone else’s place my home. I cannot help but feel like an outsider, and no matter how many times people tell me to “make [myself] comfortable” and “help [myself] to whatever food there is” I will feel like an imposition and a burden. It’s only my anxiety coming through, but it comes through LOUD.
I finally scheduled an appointment with my therapist again, and poured all this out to him. I told him exactly how bad things had gotten, and not for the first time I considered asking to be prescribed anti-anxiety medication and possibly antidepressants. I decided to keep going without them...for now.
Christmas Eve came and Graham, his family, and I all celebrated together. We were gifted some lovely items to start our life living together, like a knife set, a set of glasses, new bedding, and a casserole dish. It was a lovely respite from the stress.
On Christmas Day, Graham and I went to see another apartment. This apartment was in the same building as the apartment we almost signed for, and the only differences were that this apartment was on a lower floor and didn’t have a balcony. It was also almost $100/month less than what we had almost agreed to. The owner said he would send over the application and answers to our questions on Monday. We both felt good about this apartment.
When Monday came with no e-mail from the guy, I reached out to him to ask when we could expect it. His response was that he had just been diagnosed with COVID-19 and now wanted to sell instead of rent. This became all too much for me, and when I got back into Graham’s car as we were out running errands, I started screaming. I hadn’t screamed like this since a particularly bad day of work I had back when I worked at Target. It was cathartic, but I felt cold and disconnected from Graham for the rest of the day. Something had broken inside me, and I wasn’t sure if it was my heart, my soul, my mind, or all three. It took a while for me to recover, and honestly I’m still hurt and feel betrayed by this guy. I understand I cannot speak for what’s best for him or what he felt he should have done, but Graham and I felt that we were given the runaround by this guy. We scheduled another COVID test for ourselves, and tried to move forward.
We made it to New Year’s Eve, and stayed up to watch 2020 end. New Year’s felt somber this year, and it felt hard to celebrate the start of a new year when the one we just went through was so damaging.
But we made it. We’re here, and it’s the first week of January in 2021. Currently there are radical conservatives storming the Capitol protesting the electoral college results, but in less than 20 days, Trump will be out of office. I’ve given myself goals that are manageable for the new year, and Graham and I have three applications out for three different apartments, and there’s a chance we may be able to get the apartment we saw on Christmas Day. We keep moving forward, because the alternative is to not move at all.
And I refuse to allow that for myself.
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arrghigiveup · 4 years
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Speech made by Singapore’s Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong today to announce the new restrictions for Singapore. We’re finally going under lock down like the rest of the world.
Transcript:
My fellow Singaporeans Good afternoon
I last spoke to you on COVID-19 three weeks ago.
Since then, the number of new cases daily has begun to rise. We used to see fewer than 10 new cases a day. But in the last two weeks, despite our best efforts, we have routinely had more than 50 new cases daily.
Initially, many of the new cases were imported from overseas, mostly returning Singaporeans. Then last week, we began to have more local cases. Furthermore, despite our good contact tracing, for nearly half of these cases, we do not know where or from whom the person caught the virus. This suggests that there are more people out there who are infected, but who have not been identified. And they may be passing the virus unknowingly to others.
In the last few days, we have also discovered several clusters at foreign worker dormitories, and one at a nursing home. These are very worrying, because large numbers of people live together in dormitories and nursing homes. A single case can quickly lead to a large cluster. Furthermore, nursing home patients are mostly old and frail, and very vulnerable to the virus.
As the situation developed over the past weeks, we have tightened our safe-distancing measures progressively. Singaporeans have responded well, calmly and responsibly, and made adjustments in their daily lives. By working together, we have kept the outbreak under control.
But looking at the trend, I am worried that unless we take further steps, things will gradually get worse, or another big cluster may push things over the edge. I discussed this with the Multi-Ministry Task Force (MTF). We have decided that instead of tightening incrementally over the next few weeks, we should make a decisive move now to pre-empt escalating infections. We will therefore impose significantly stricter measures. This is like a circuit breaker. It will help reduce the risk of a big outbreak occurring. And it should also help to gradually bring our numbers down. This in turn will allow us to relax some of the measures. This circuit breaker will apply for one month, in the first instance. The Task Force is holding a Press Conference immediately after I finish speaking to you to explain the details. But let me give you the key points.
Continuation under the cut
First, we will close most workplaces, except for essential services and key economic sectors. Food establishments, markets and supermarkets, clinics, hospitals, utilities, transport and key banking services will remain open. These are essential services. We also should not disrupt economic sectors that are strategic, or form part of a global supply chain. People working in these industries can continue to go to work, with safe-distancing measures in place. But most other work premises must close. If the person can work from home, he should do so — telecommute. But others will not be able to, including foreign workers on construction sites and in shipyards. These workers live in dormitories, and we will make arrangements to look after them. The closure of work places will take effect from next Tuesday. This will ensure that most of our workforce stay at home and limit their physical interaction to as few people as possible.
Second, we will also move to full home-based learning in our schools and Institutes of Higher Learning (IHLs). We started with one day of home-based learning this week. This has gone smoothly, with some teething issues being resolved. The Ministry of Education (MOE) will work with the schools to implement full home-based learning starting next Wednesday. All preschool and student care centres will also be closed, but will provide limited services for children of parents who have to continue working and are unable to make alternative care arrangements.
Third, we will tighten restrictions on movements and gatherings of people. It boils down to three things. First, stay at home, as much as possible. Second, avoid socialising with others beyond your own household. Gatherings should be confined to your household. Avoid visiting even your extended families who are not staying with you, especially if they are elderly or vulnerable. Third, go out only to do essential things. For work, if you are in essential services or key economic sectors. To buy food at markets, or to take out from restaurants and hawker centres. Or to exercise in the neighbourhood park, keeping a safe distance from others. 
The spirit of these measures is to get all of us to minimise physical contact. If we do not go out, if we avoid contact with others, then the virus will not be able to spread. It is as simple as that.I know this is very hard to do. As a practical matter, in places like hawker centres and wet markets, it is difficult to practise safe-distancing, especially on the weekends when it is crowded. It will help if we all adjust our habits. For example, do our marketing on weekdays instead of weekends to avoid the crowd. We will also deploy more Safe-Distancing Ambassadors to encourage people not to crowd together, so please cooperate with them.
Safe-distancing is also hard for a psychological and emotional reason: it goes very much against our human instincts. It is in our nature to want to socialise, to be close to those we are talking to, to take comfort in the warmth and company of friends and family. I fully understand this. But I hope you will also understand why we all have to take social distancing extremely seriously in this period. This is the only effective way to slow the transmission of the virus, so that we gradually bring our numbers down. It is also the best way to keep our families safe, and particularly to protect our seniors from getting ill. So please bear with the painful adjustments that we have to make. Each and every one of us can, and must do our part, to keep everyone in Singapore safe from COVID-19.
Let me now say a few words in Malay and Mandarin.
[repetition of the above in Bahasa Melayu and Mandarin. Full transcript available Here]
I decided to speak to you directly today to explain why we need to make this major move now, but also to reassure you that things will be alright. Essential services will continue running so that all of us can cope in this new situation, as we batten down to fight this virus. We have enough food supplies to last us through this period and beyond. You can still shop at the supermarket or wet market. And you need not rush to stock up for weeks at a time. You can still buy food from your favourite hawker centres or coffee shop, though you will have to take out and eat at home with your own family, rather than hang out and eat outside with your friends.
I know these measures will impact our workers and businesses severely. This is already a very difficult time for them. We will help them come through this. On Monday in Parliament, DPM Heng Swee Keat will announce additional support for households and businesses, over and above what was provided in the two earlier Budgets. We will also legislate to require landlords to pass on property tax rebates fully to their tenants. We will also pass new temporary legislation to let businesses and individuals defer certain contractual obligations for a period, such as paying rent, repaying loans, or completing work.
Besides implementing this circuit breaker, we also are rethinking our advice on face masks.
Up to now, the Government has advised the general public that you only need to wear a mask if you are not feeling well, and this is to protect others from your germs. This was based on scientific advice and guidelines from the World Health Organization (WHO). We also did not have community spread in Singapore then, so it was very unlikely for you to run into anyone with COVID-19 on the street, much less be infected by them. Nevertheless, the Government gave each household four surgical masks, to use in case you got sick, and to give people peace of mind.
Now, the situation is changing. We now think there are some cases out there in the community going undetected, though probably still not that many. We also now have evidence that an infected person can show no symptoms, and yet still pass on the virus to others. This is why the WHO is reviewing the issue of face masks, and so is the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Therefore, we will no longer discourage people from wearing masks. Wearing a mask may help to protect others, in case you have the virus but do not know it. This is so that you keep your droplets to yourself — when you sneeze or speak or cough. It can also protect yourself a little better, especially if you are elderly, or vulnerable because of pre-existing health conditions.
We still want to conserve surgical masks for the people who really need them – healthcare workers in clinics and hospitals. For everyone else, in a community setting, alternatives like reusable masks will give some added protection. So from this Sunday, the Government will distribute reusable masks to all households. Meanwhile, many community groups have been making and distributing reusable masks for the elderly and vulnerable. I applaud these efforts. They show our community spirit and mutual care.
But remember, mask or no mask, you still need to wash your hands, and keep a safe distance away from other people.
The next few weeks will be pivotal. Even after these stepped-up measures, the number of cases will quite likely still go up in the next few days. They can be cases who have already been infected earlier, except they have not yet shown symptoms, or not yet gone to see their doctor. But if we keep our efforts up, within a few weeks we should be able to bring the numbers under control, bring the numbers down, and get into a more sustainable position.
We will keep on doing our utmost to protect every Singaporean from COVID-19. Many people have been working tirelessly for the past two months  — our nurses and doctors, our contact tracers and healthcare staff. We thank them all for their efforts and sacrifices. Now we are all enlisted to join them on the frontline.  
It will be a long fight. But if any country can see this through, it is Singapore. We have the resources. We have the determination. We are united. By helping one another through this, we will prevail, and emerge stronger.
Thank you.
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brajeshupadhyay · 4 years
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Thousands of us have picked up a surprise savings habit in lockdown, a Money Mail survey reveals today. The coronavirus crisis has inflicted job losses and pay cuts – and still threatens to kill off many struggling businesses. But despite the doom and gloom, many Mail readers have found they are saving hundreds of pounds thanks to lockdown, and becoming more financially secure as a result. Spending cuts: Despite the doom and gloom, many readers have found themselves saving hundreds of pounds thanks to lockdown and becoming more financially secure as a result  Large expenses such as holidays, commuting costs and entertainment have vanished following unprecedented social-distancing restrictions – giving households the chance to set aside money during an economically uncertain time. Exclusive research for Money Mail by Consumer Intelligence today suggests 16 per cent of people now feel financially better off. Almost half are spending less since social-distancing restrictions were introduced, with 38 per cent saving more. Nearly four in five families say they have more money to spend since lockdown, with a quarter having between £200 and £500 more in disposable income each month. The findings come as figures from the Bank of England yesterday showed the nation saved £16.2 billion in April. In the six months to February households saved an average of £5 billion every month. What is more, households cleared an astonishing £5 billion of credit-card debt, which was more than double the previous record of £2.4 billion paid off in March. In a standard month the nation would usually clear £300 million of credit-card debt. Becky O’Connor, personal finance specialist at insurer Royal London, says: ‘A financial divide has opened up during lockdown. ‘While some are really struggling on reduced incomes, there’s another group whose experience has been almost the exact opposite. ‘If you are in a position to do so, there might never be a better time to ‘build back better’ and save.’ Here, Money Mail meets some of the nation’s new ‘accidental savers’. At last, I’ve managed to build a little nest egg  By HENRY DEEDES  All my life I’ve been a spender rather than a saver. Whatever I’ve earned during my career, my bank account has always puffed and wheezed its way through to pay day. I’ve tried to be sensible. I’ve opened saving accounts, dabbled in Isas. I even bought Premium Bonds once. Much good it’s done me. You see, any disposable cash I’ve ever had has this annoying habit of winking at me through the computer glass, urging me to go out and enjoy it. Terrible, I know, but there’s something innately therapeutic about rewarding yourself after a busy week with a little something.  A case of wine, something new to hang in the flat. Perhaps another ill-advised addition to the summer wardrobe from a tempting online emporium. Invariably, no sooner have I clicked the purchase button and the boiler will suddenly crank to halt and there’ll be nothing in the cookie jar to pay for a repair. I never learn. Lockdown has changed all that. Like a lot of people, I imagine, being trapped inside an apartment for the best part of three months has brought about a vast reduction in expenses. No need now for expensive Travelcards, pricey gym memberships or all those overpriced cups of coffee every day. And that’s before you’ve taken into account what I used to spend going out to see friends.  Remember socialising? Drinks rounds, restaurant bills. I dread to think how much I used to splurge on late-night Uber journeys during normal times. But it was a lot. And so with all these weighty charges lifted from my balance sheet, I’ve started to experience a novelty. When I check my balance at the end of the month, there’s now actually something left in the kitty. In the past I’d have been tempted to do something extravagant. ‘Why not?’ would have been my attitude. But in these times of enforced isolation, that thinking has been replaced with what’s the point? Instead, I’ve been putting it in an online investment Isa with savings app Moneybox. I pay a set amount in each month, as well as any additional funds I might have left over.  It also has a nifty feature which rounds up all my debit card transactions to the nearest pound and automatically squirrels away the extra cash. H ow satisfying it has been, how oddly empowering. Each time I check to see how my savings are accruing I now get that same whoosh of excitement I used to get when an Amazon parcel would plonk through my letterbox. It would be nice to think that when this is all over, when the High Street tills begin to ring again and when the beer pumps start flowing, I will be able to maintain this spirit of restraint.  If nothing else, this pandemic has taught us how quickly life can go south. In bleak times it pays to be prudent. Doubtless this is the last thing Chancellor Rishi Sunak wants to hear. As we re-emerge from lockdown, he needs as many idiots like me as possible flashing their plastic around with reckless abandon to get our ravaged economy moving. But if this crisis does make some a little more financially responsible, surely that’s no bad thing in the long term.   I have cleared my credit card    Olivia McCulla, who works in PR, has saved by moving back in with her parents By moving back in with her parents, Olivia McCulla, who works in PR, has saved enough to pay off her £1,000 credit card debt. She still pays £775 a month in rent for her flat in North-West London but gets £100 back that would usually go on bills because she isn’t there. Her £120-a-month travel costs and £150-a-week work lunch habit have also disappeared while she works from her parents’ home near Leeds. She has also saved thousands after the two hen-dos and four weddings she was supposed to attend this summer were postponed. However, she now has eight weddings in the diary next year to budget for. Olivia, 29, who wants to buy a property in the next few years, has opened a new savings account. She says: ‘It feels more important than ever to have a rainy-day fund with things being so uncertain. ‘In London I was paying £9.50 for a gin and tonic and through the nose for a very small flat I dread going back to. ‘Lockdown has made me question if I even want to buy in London.’ Before the coronavirus crisis, Olivia was saving about £100 a month. Her father Bernard, 65, and his wife Susan, 66, have seen their household costs rise slightly since their daughter moved home but are also saving money each month.  They previously spent £100 eating out each week, so their bank balance is boosted by £400 a month. And instead of paying a tradesman £2,000 to replace his patio with a flower garden, Bernard did it himself and slashed the cost in half. Before social-distancing regulations were relaxed, Bernard was also saving £180 a month on his golf and walking-football memberships. He says: ‘We are very fortunate. Lockdown has made me think we should live more for today and enjoy our pensions more.’ I feel guilty I’m better off  Quids in: Ashleigh Meale is saving between £500 and £700 a month Ashleigh Meale says her ‘stripped-back life’ means she is now saving between £500 and £700 a month. This is despite her grocery bill doubling to £400 a month and signing up to a TV and film- streaming service costing £60 a year. Before lockdown, the 27-year-old recruitment consultant, who is currently working from home, was putting away between £250 and £500 but would spend hundreds of pounds a month socialising with friends at expensive bars and restaurants.  Now, she and her boyfriend Rob, 38, cook their meals from scratch at home. Ashleigh, who lives in Sheffield, is also saving £70 a month by working from home and not having to pay to commute by bus. She has also been unable to spend money on holidays since the Government warned against non-essential travel. Ashleigh admits that, while she is not a natural saver, she has now realised how much she spends unnecessarily and hopes to remain mindful about what expenses she reintroduces when restrictions are finally lifted. She says: ‘Feeling better off financially during this time is a strange position to be in and it does make me feel guilty when so many people are struggling. But it has given me time to re-evaluate things, and I have no intention of blowing what I’ve saved. ‘I don’t need to be out all the time spending money on eating out and drinks when I could be just as happy with a barbecue in someone’s garden. What I have missed the most is my friends — not the expensive socialising.’ Pay cut but £400-a-month saving  Sally Walsh is saving an extra £400 a month on top of £200 she was already setting aside in a help-to-buy Isa Sally Walsh was worried when she was told she would have to take a 10 per cent pay cut in March. But despite the shock announcement, the 24-year-old engineer has found her finances have improved during lockdown. She is now saving an extra £400 a month on top of £200 she was already setting aside in a help-to-buy Isa. Since working from home, Sally has saved around £200 a month by not having to commute to central London, and a further £200 by not eating or drinking out after work. The only bill to go up is her food cost now she cooks almost every meal at home. Sally, who has lived with her parents in Bromley, South-East London since graduating, is determined to continue saving even after lockdown lifts. She says: ‘My goal is to move out as soon as possible. I feel like I am closer to it now. ‘I don’t have to spend so much on going out. I hope I will soon be able to have people over and cook for them.’ Childcare cut by thousands  Claire Jarrett and her partner Jon Howell are saving £50 a day in train fares alone Claire Jarrett and her partner Jon Howell have saved enough since lockdown to pay for renovations on their home. The couple need to fix the roof on their house in West Malling, Kent, and want to make the garden more child-friendly for their one-year-old daughter, Eleanor, to play. Claire, 31, had only been back at work for two days after returning from maternity leave before staff were told they had to work from home. With Jon, also 31, working from home too, they are saving £50 a day in train fares alone by not having to commute to the insurance firm where they both work in Bromley, South-East London. They are also saving around £5 a day on lunches at work, £80 a month on petrol and £200 a month by not eating out. But their biggest saving has been on childcare. It usually costs £800 a month to send Eleanor to nursery — but the couple have not had to pay since March. It has helped the couple to replenish their savings after Claire’s maternity leave and move their renovation plans a bit further forward. However Claire says their financial gain is likely to be short-lived. She says: ‘Lockdown has made us realise we do not need to go out as much but lots of the costs will be re-introduced when life goes back to normal, unfortunately.’ Not relying on investments  Retired Gerry Short is making savings by not playing golf, employing a cleaner or taking weekend theatre trips Retired Gerry Short has seen such a drop in his spending that he has decided to stop withdrawing income from his investments for the next couple of years. Gerry, 61, a former college principal, has two pensions that pay £20,000 a year. He gets a further £16,000 a year from investments.  After the pandemic hit the stock market, his investments plummeted. While they have recovered slightly, he wants to give them time to recover. His reduced outgoings mean he can do this as he is making savings on weekend theatre trips which can cost up to £100 a time.  He was refunded £60 of his golf-club membership. He also stopped spending £20 on drinks three or four times a week after games.  The father-of-one, who lives in Leicestershire, also no longer employs a cleaner, which cost £100 a month. He says: ‘I was aware I was spending a lot as a distraction after my wife died and knew it couldn’t continue. Lockdown has given me time to plan further in the future.’ Windfall from lost holiday  Dannielle Phillips has had to put expensive holiday plans on halt Dannielle Phillips, 32, spends most of her spare cash on trips away. But since lockdown kicked in, expensive holiday plans have ground to a halt. She has already got an £870 refund for a trip to Mexico that was supposed to take place in April. And she has received a £500 voucher she can use to re-book her holiday to Portugal in June for next year. Dannielle, a senior marketing consultant, had always put £250 a month into Premium Bonds, but has since increased this to £750 a month. Since lockdown began, she has saved around £2,500 in total, which she says would have been impossible for her before. She has always checked her banking apps frequently, but is definitely more aware of incoming and outgoing transactions now. Dannielle, who lives in Croydon, South London, says she also feels very lucky it worked out like this because she had originally handed in her notice in February and was planning to leave after finishing a project six weeks later. But the new job she had been offered fell through so her company agreed to rehire her. Dannielle says: ‘I am looking forward to lockdown ending but also dreading it because I will need to rebalance old habits. ‘I’m going to try to budget more at the weekends because I want to keep saving to buy a house. ‘Building up my savings has become more important to me because the future feels so uncertain.’ [email protected] Some links in this article may be affiliate links. If you click on them we may earn a small commission. That helps us fund This Is Money, and keep it free to use. We do not write articles to promote products. We do not allow any commercial relationship to affect our editorial independence. The post UK’s accidental savers: Poll shows many are better off in lockdown  appeared first on Sansaar Times.
http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/06/uks-accidental-savers-poll-shows-many.html
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funkymbtifiction · 5 years
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How does a sp-blind look in real life? The descriptions of sp-blind seem descriptions of characters from action / adventure movies: People who jump into action recklessly, don't think about how dangerous a situation could be and don't care either, etc... Does sp-blind make people so extremely reckless in real life? Like an action hero?
Not necessarily, although there are exceptions (often with ESXP daredevils).
Of the sp-blinds I know, the things they have in common are:
- Having no savings at the end of the month / living from paycheck to paycheck
- Forgetting to prioritize “essentials” in their budget (like rent, paying the electric bill, fixing the broken heater in the winter, or the a/c in the summer)
- Assuming they are going to “last forever” / that not taking care of their body won’t backfire on them at some future
date (abuse including a poor diet, lack of sleep, forgetting to eat, tiring their eyes with screens, and no exercise)
- Having no sense of when they have had “enough” and need “down time”
- Having almost nothing “comfortable” in their space (not knowing what to buy / what they like / no nesting instinct) OR having a ton of clutter / being a hoarder
SP-blinds often “cling” to people with sp as their lifeline and feel panicky without it since they don’t know how to do basic things for themselves (like budgeting, keeping track of their spending, saving money, setting boundaries, having time at home to calm down and introspect, etc) along those lines.
One sp-blind I know has harmed herself multiple times living in a house where it never occurs to her to fix anything that breaks / she does not know how to do it. She has gone two winters without heat, because she never remembers to fix the broken furnace when it’s not cold outside, and when it is, she has no money to fix it with due to her tendency to over-spend / loan people money she does not have. She went last summer without an a/c also because… same story, it broke and she can’t afford to fix it.
Each sp-blind is different, depending on the core type also.
See this post.
- ENFP Mod
Note by sp-blind ENTP Mod. - I want to add that having a six wing or strong thinking function would ideally cut down on the dumb things that sp blind stereotypes are wont to do. For example, fiscally speaking - the last time I quit my job, I hadn’t planned enough savings to sustain me for the gap in between. I do pay my bills on time, but that’s mostly because it is all online. If it actually involved me remembering to prioritize, go somewhere and pay my bills, I am pretty sure I would learn my lesson after a few shut - offs. Food wise, I have the absolute worst diet though I am trying to work on it. She is right in that I do and did live life like I would live forever. Sp firsts treat their body with a great awareness, mindful of what they consume. Sleep isn’t prioritized if I have some big idea or side projects I am working, or if I have someone online with whom I am really feeling the connection, in a manner of speaking. Not knowing when I have had enough? Yes. Not feeling hunger till my vision goes fuzzy? Why, that’s how I spent most of my teenage and early twenties. I have lived life from biscuit to ramen packet, somehow survived to tell the tale.
About boundaries: This is is kind of a huge thing because the sp users know when they are tired, when they should wind down whereas I have no sense of equitable energy distribution, and can end up drained. I push myself and my body unknowingly beyond its limits, and come down HARD.
Sp people: I hadn’t thought about this consciously till I read about how easily the so/sx defaults to the dynamic of transferring responsibility for their growth and survival on to someone with strong sp. I have through my life gravitated towards high sp users, who are probably the reason why I am actually here to tell you not to do what I did.
(Just because you are sp blind does not mean you don’t have an ounce of self preservation. That is a hard-wired instinct in every single one of us. Be it a homo sapien, or an animal, or a bird. What it means is that you don’t prioritize meeting those needs. What it means is that you will willingly sacrifice sp needs to make sure your soc and sx needs are met. So don’t think all sp blind folks will be penniless junkies, it is dependent on Enneagram, and to some extent cognitive type as well)
- ENTP Mod.
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scottym125 · 5 years
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Living on my own Chapter 1
Want to know how I have been living independently while having special needs?  I’ll tell you how I have been successfully living on my own for the past 14 years.  The first thing I did have to start living on my own is to find a place to live in a safe area.  Before I moved into my current apartment in San Diego my mom and I went apartment hunting around San Diego.  Some of the things I considered while apartment hunting were square footage, number of bedrooms, cost of rent and other expenses (what the landlord is responsible for and and what the tenant is responsible for), living environment which means do you want a 1 bedroom and live by yourself or do you want to have roommates, is the area safe from crime and is the apartment in a good location.  I finally found a great apartment where I have been living the last 8 years.  The main thing I enjoy about my apartment is that it is centrally located.  The next steps once you find  an apartment is to sign the lease which is the rental agreement, pay the security deposit and the first month’s rent.  Another important thing I did before I moved in is to conduct a complete walk though of the apartment to make sure it is safe to live in and take notes of any damage and or things missing.  When I did the walk though of my current apartment, I wrote down any damage that I noticed and anything that was missing, for example the dishwasher was missing the utensil holder.  It’s important to do this so as a tenant so when you move out you won’t be responsible for any damage that was there when you moved in.  
Once I signed all the legal documents and I was handed the keys to my apartment, the fun begins, the actual moving in to the apartment, depending on how much stuff you have to move in to your apartment.  When I moved to San Diego from the Bay Area, I was not quite 26 and had been living on my own for 5 years so I already had accumulated a good amount of stuff.  When I was moving to my current apartment, there wasn’t a lot that I needed to buy.  For someone who may be just starting out, moving into a new apartment could be both exciting and overwhelming at the same time.  Before you and your family make a trip to IKEA or to any store that sells  whatever you may need for the apartment , it’ll be smart to take measurements of the apartment and with the measurements create a floor plan in order to you know where everything will fit in the apartment and most importantly how you and your family plan on moving into the apartment.  I mention this because not all apartment complexes have elevators or push carts to use to help you move in.  The apartment complex that I live at doesn’t have an elevator or any push carts and I live on the 2nd floor.  Another helpful packing tip is to pack any breakable items in newspaper, tissue paper and or paper towels.  The most important thing to you to have on your moving day is a lot of patience and a healthy sense of humor. 
Before your moving day arrives, it is important to find family and friends to help you move.  Other things to line up is a moving van/truck and setting up enough drivers for all the vehicles, the size of the van/truck you’ll need to order depends on how much stuff you are moving.  An important thing that you need a lot of for when you are packing up your stuff are boxes and a permanent marker so you can label what room the boxes go in when you or other people are unloading the vehicles.  Other things that you’ll want for any last minute packing is (tape, string and scissors).  The next thing I did is I chose the various services you’ll want to use so you can figure out the best place to hook up your different appliances (TV, microwave, toaster oven and landline) and where all the hookups are around the apartment.  Another thing you’ll need to do is create a checklist of when everything will be delivered and hooked up so you will know to be home if needed. 
A nice thing to do as a way to say thank you for everyone who helped you with your move would to treat them by having pizza and drinks delivered.  Once all of my stuff had been moved comes my favorite part of moving, which is the unpacking and figuring out where I want everything to go in my new apartment.  Some things are pretty obvious.  My bed, dresser, bookcases go in my bedroom.  Other things that go in my bedroom would be my clothes, my favorite books, and anything I consider to be personal/private.  Anything that belongs in the kitchen includes my toaster, microwave, silverware, other utensils, food, potholders, spices and other things that go in a normal kitchen.  Things that normally go in the common area also known as the family/living room were my couch, other bookcases, a table to eat at, a coffee table, a hutch where I store pictures and other stuff like cards and batteries.  Another thing I did as part of the getting settled process was to hang stuff on the walls like pictures and movie posters. 
Once you have gotten to a good stopping point, is a great time to go on a grocery run where you can stock up on the essential items.  Remember to follow these simple guidelines/rules (never go grocery shopping when hungry and always prepare a list with only what you need) as a couple ways to avoid overspending and it will keep you on budget.  Another thing that I wish I knew when I first started living on my own was the skill of budgeting and money management.  It is very important to create a budget.  You can prepare a budget using a spreadsheet program like Excel, you could name the columns with the names of each month and the rows with all of your different expenses.  As an example when I created my budget, I had to come up with an estimate known as variable expenses for what I spend on expenses like groceries, eating out, using Uber, movies out, movies, cable, grooming (hair and nails cut) in and misc spending.  The other expenses you’ll have are more fixed costs.  As an example of fixed expenses are rent, water, gas and electric and cell phone.  How you estimate your expenses is related to how much income you earn from a steady paycheck from a job and from getting social security.  In addition to potentially deciding if want to get cable or just subscribe to Netflix and or Amazon Prime or any of the other streaming platforms such as Hulu.  Another choice to be made has do with how you want to get exercise, you can join a gym, sign up for recreational sports team like VAVI, Sports for Exceptional Athletes or Special Olympics. 
These 3 organizations offer other benefits in addition to being a great way to get exercise, they offer a variety of sports and are a easy way to meet people which could help increase your social circle and it also lead you to finding a job because the best way to get a job is through networking which is made easier with the more people you know. 
Another way to help you find a job is to research job placement agencies via a search engine like Google.  That is how I got started with TMI and they have been extremely helpful with getting me a number of jobs, improved my resume and have increased my self confidence when it comes to job interviews.  TMI  was how I got my current job at TJ Maxx.  My contact at TMI emailed me asking if I would be interested in attending a job fair put on by TJ Maxx, I went, got hired, attended orientation at both a local hotel and at the store which at the time wasn’t even open yet and then went to my first day of my new job at TJ Maxx.  15 months later I am still employed at TJ Maxx and I am among a group of people who have been there from day one.  I work as a store associate in the stock room where I do a variety of tasks which include (unloading and sorting inventory from the truck, unwrapping and sensoring purses, opening and sensoring luggage and laying out clothes from boxes). 
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yournewapartment · 7 years
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Do you have like a checklist or something of things that need to be done before you can move out? I have over a year to get ready, but I'm not certain what "ready" means exactly. What needs to happen before a person can live on their own (in the USA)? Thanks for answering, love your blog!
I’m realizing now that I have lots of posts that detail different parts of this moving into a new apartment process, but none that discuss everything. So this post is essentially a conglomerate of four different posts: Adulting 108, Moving (On Your Own), Living On Your Own, and Apartment Hunting 101.
But here they are, in step by step order! Enjoy!
Finding an Apartment (Apartment Hunting 101)
Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!
1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:
Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.
2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:
Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.
That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.
3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:
Craigslist: Obviously
Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.
4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.
The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:
Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
Not showing up when they say they will.
Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!
5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:
Your older brother
Your boyfriend/girlfriend
Your Aunt Meredith
Your second cousin
Your friend who can scream really loudly
Your Mother
Your Step Mother
Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
Literally anyone you can trust
Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:
Kitestring
“Share My Location” on your Iphone
Pepper Spray
Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied
Apartment Checklist
A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.
Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.
Expense related
How much is the rent?
Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
What Internet service providers are available?
What electric service providers are available?
Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.
Basic
What type of heating/cooling is provided?
What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
What will your address be?
Additional
Is any furniture included?
Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
Ask where your mailbox will be.
Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
How often does the complex loose power?
Is there a nearby police station or fire department?
General check
Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
Check that all the light switches work.
Check that the water turns on.
Flush the toilet.
Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
Check any balcony access.
Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?
Final Decision
If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.
During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…
Applying to Rent the Apartment
Overview: After choosing an apartment that you like, there are lots of steps that need to be taken before you can actually move in. 
1. Rental application. You will need to fill out some sort of rental application when applying for an apartment. You’ll be asked for previous addresses (if you’ve lived in previous apartment complexes landlords will actually call and ask about how good of a tenant you were), if you’ve been convicted of a crime, pay stubs, references and/or credit information. If you don’t have a credit score, some complexes will require you to co-sign the lease with someone who does, like a parent. If a landlord does NOT ask you to fill out any kind of application, I’d advise you to run for the hills and not rent from them.
2. Approval. Apartment complexes will mail you a packet of information after you’ve been approved. This will list your new address, what power company services are available, apartment amenities, school districts, local attractions, as well as your next steps. My current apartment complex also mailed me what Internet providers are available, which was a nice extra bonus.
3. Initial expenses. Your next step will be to put down a “security deposit”. This will either be exactly the same or very close to the amount you pay for rent monthly. This deposit ensures that you don’t destroy the apartment, if you do they won’t refund you. You will also be asked to pay your first month’s rent in advance. Most rental companies will only accept money orders for these initial expenses, you have to go to your bank to get these. They’re essentially checks that take the money out of your account right away.
4. Apartment check. After you’re approved for an apartment, ask to see the actual unit that you’ll be moving into. Make sure that you see said apartment before signing any lease. Notice how loud your neighbors are, how good of a cell signal you have, the condition of the apartment, etc. This is a pretty extensive list.
Before You Move
1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.
2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.
3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:
DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)
Your doctor’s office
Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)
Your credit/debit card company
Your bank
Your phone company
Any government programs you’re a part of
Any companies that you have loans with
Your health insurance company
Your auto insurance company
Amazon
4. Pre-move in List. Make a shopping list of all the non-perishable items you will need before moving in. I’m talking trash cans, first aid kits, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. I like to work on this list over the span of several days, and do a large shop before moving in. Your moving day will be stressful enough as it is, don’t add the stress of missing something you need. Here’s a pretty good list.
5. Electric set-up. Use the information packed your landlord sent you to find out who your electricity provider is. Call them, you’ll probably get a pre-recorded message. Choose the option that says something along the lines of “set up electricity”. You will be connected to an actual human being, who will ask you to read your new address. Tell them to turn on power to your apartment a couple days before you move in. They will set up a billing plan with you (ask to be put on a budget, it’ll save you lots of money) and give you your account information.
6. Internet set-up. Setting up your internet is similar to setting up your electric, but a bit more hand’s on. Most cable/internet companies always have some sort of deal going on, a year or two years of discounted service. Be aware of when this discount will end, and contact the company to see if they can offer you a new deal. If Verizon is offered in your area, I strongly advise you to use them for Internet service. i was on a two year plan with them that saved us $40 a month on internet service, and after it ended they put us on a new plan that is now saving us $42 a month. Fuck yeah! Also make sure to set your internet installation date for the day after you move in, so that you’re not stuck sitting in your internet-less apartment, unable to read my blog. Know that most internet companies charge installation and routers fees, and if you complain enough they’ll drop one or both of these. Just be like “I’m a poor college student” or threaten to go to another internet company.  
7. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.
8. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your ex-landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.
9. Signing the Lease. The last thing you will do before moving into your new apartment is signing a lease. You will be given a copy of the lease to keep, as well as the key to your apartment and/or laundry key. Keep your copy of the lease in a safe place, and make sure to get duplicates of your apartment keys.
During Moving
1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.
2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.
3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.
4. Check everything. During your first few days moved into you new apartment, look around and make note of anything wrong. Outlets that don’t work, scratches on the wall, peeling paint, etc. Report these ASAP to your landlord to be fixed. This will give you a good idea of how put together their maintenance unit is. Make sure to offer maintenance workers water and be polite to them when they’re fixing anything in your apartment.
After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)
1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.
2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.
3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.
4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.
5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.
6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.
7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.
8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.
9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.
10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!
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Fair or Unfair Charges?
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For a private event at an elegant restaurant, bar, or hotel should it clearly state what the total liquor minimum cost will be after taxes and gratuities before a patron agrees to a certain amount? I have run into this issue quite a bit at work. Just a little background on where I work, I am currently employed at the Maxwell Mansion in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. It was the first mansion built in Lake Geneva by Dr. Maxwell. It is a beautiful old, Victorian mansion that was built back in 1856. The upstairs has been converted into a swanky, Victorian hotel with six rooms. The Lower level was converted in a bar and lounge area. The basement, way back in the 1920’s, was a speakeasy. A few years ago, the basement was converted back into a speakeasy that is open to the public on the weekends. Only if they know the password though! Many people come from out of state to stay and have a drink at this beautiful historic mansion. Because of the renovations made, many different kinds of special events can be held at the mansion. The summer is definitely the busiest time for these events. The mansion is located right across the street from Geneva Lake, in Southeastern Wisconsin. The upstairs bar is full on the weekends and the speakeasy is packed to the brim. On occasion, during the summer, there will be special events. These events include weddings, receptions, birthday parties, bridal showers, etc. All of these events are orchestrated and run by the event coordinator. She makes sure that every last detail down to the most miniscule thing you could think of is planned for and anticipated.
The most important part of these events is the bar. How many people are attending that will be drinking? How much are they going to spend on alcohol? Is it a cash bar or a hosted bar? All of these questions are answered well before the event is scheduled to occur. One of the items that is negotiated with the event coordinator is the bar minimum. The bar minimum is a guaranteed amount of money that will be spent on alcohol and other beverages during the event. For example, if the patron knows that their group is going to drink a lot that night the customer will set their bar minimum to be higher than someone who thinks their group will not be imbibing a lot. For example, say the bar minimum for an event is one thousand five hundred dollars. The patron would then be asked to pay that before the event as a deposit and guarantee that amount will be spent at the bar. If that specific amount is not met, then the customer will have to pay the difference. However, most people forget to add the sales taxes and service charge to the bar minimum when negotiating the total amount. If the consumer with the bar minimum of one thousand five hundred dollars reaches that, they will actually be spending around two thousand dollars because of those added fees. That is over five hundred dollars more than they were anticipating! If they had not budgeted for this extra amount, they still would have to pay it. This brings me to my initial question: Should a bar minimum include service taxes and gratuity in the price or should it be factored in after the minimum amount is met?
Many people that work in the food and beverage industry are aware of the auto-gratuity of large parties and events on food and beverages served. However, many people do not take this into account when they are budgeting for their wedding or a different large, important event. A few weekends ago I worked a wedding that the bride’s mother had planned. She had a bar minimum of one thousand dollars. At the end of the wedding she received the final bill for the bar. The total bar sales had exceeded the bar minimum by five hundred dollars. The bartender also added the sales tax and a service charge which is the same thing as auto-gratuity. The final bill turned out to be a little over double than what she expected. She had the money to pay for it, but it made me wonder. Was she told that these extra fees were going to be added to the final bill or had it just been expected that she already knew about them?
I spoke to the event coordinator that is in charge of handling the bar minimums and negotiating the dollar amount for each of them. In the original rental agreement that everyone is sent, when inquiring about special events and catering options, it clearly states in large bold letters that the agreed minimum at the bar does not include added taxes and a service charge. The event coordinator said that she also makes this abundantly clear in her consultations with customers. She mentioned that the only people that usually object to the taxes and service charge are those that are also in the food and beverage industry. One wedding that she hosted a while ago was extremely aware of the auto-gratuity. They had a one thousand dollar bar minimum and wanted to be alerted immediately when the tab was around eight hundred dollars. Once it reached that amount they would switch over to a cash bar. This way they would reach their bar minimum with the final bill and it would include the sales tax and service charge. This is fiscally responsible, but it can also come across as cheap or lower class. I know that the Maxwell Mansion includes that sales tax and service charge automatically because in the past they had run into problems of patrons not tipping the bartenders and servers. On a bill as high as a thousand dollars, people would often be skimpy with the tip. This service charge at the end ensures that the bartenders and servers are getting the amount of money they deserve for working that event and crafting beautiful, delicious cocktails.
Places like the Maxwell Mansion cater to a more sophisticated crowd. The cocktails are complex, innovative and a little more on the expensive side. The bartenders are constantly creating new drinks and thinking of new ways to show off their mixing talents. Recently they have started using a smoking gun on certain cocktails. This brings out the smoky flavor of bourbon and other rye based liquors. The drinks that are created are not your average, run of the mill rail mixed drinks that you would find at any local bar. At these events, there is no discount on these kinds of drinks. There can be a specialty drink made in honor of the event which is usually a sangria of some sort. The specialty drinks are usually cheaper than a regular cocktail at the bar. Bottom-line, if you are hosting a private event there, such as a wedding, it should come as no surprise that there is a service charge added to the final bill. The atmosphere, the bar and the mansions itself is a unique place to have your special day. It is an expensive place to rent out with an entire full house buyout priced at eight thousand dollars. The Bar is advertised as not only as a bar, but as an experience.
Overall I can understand why people think that having a bar minimum and not including the taxes and service charges in there can seem like a sneaky way for a business to get more money from you. The taxes that are added on vary by state and they are usually just a miniscule amount and are required by the state law. The service charge is just a guarantee to the bartenders that they will get paid for the service they provided. Especially if it is a whole property buy out and they will not get patrons walking in just for a cocktail. Essentially, most of their income from that particular night is going to come from the service charge at the event. Event patrons need to be aware that a bar minimum is just the amount of money spent on alcohol during the event and does not include the extra charges. This should be stated clearly in the rental contract before moving forward with planning any event. Fancy, delicious cocktails are expensive and sometime complicated to make. The bartenders should get their gratuity for a job well done.
I think you could even argue that a server or bartender should automatically get a twenty percent tip on all bills. They sometimes make less than five dollars an hour, and since most of their salary depends on tips, they deserve the money made through the service charges. This is a progressive opinion that I am thinking some people might disagree with. However, with the added service charges, servers and bartenders are happier to be working. That ultimately creates a better experience for the consumer.
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bravonovel · 3 years
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Playing with A Billionaire read novel online on Bravonovel
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Playing with A Billionaire https://www.bravonovel.com/playing-with-a-billionaire-7874
Playing with A Billionaire novel is a Romance story about Emma Cole and Ethan Hollen.
When plain simple nerdy Emma Cole goes to Hollen Tower for an interview she quickly realizes she is out of her league. The women of Hollen Tower are gorgeous, and their shoes cost more than her entire wardrobe. But an accident, and a talent for coffee, put Emma in the position to meet the man of her dreams. There's just one problem, he's engaged. And when Emma falls for CEO Ethan Hollen she finds herself in the middle of a dangerous plot she never would have imagined. Ethan Hollen wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth but he climbed the ladder to riches very quickly. At just twenty four, he is one of the youngest and most powerful CEOs. With a huge mansion, several cars, successful business, and beautiful fiancée, he has it all. But when internal enemies threaten everything he's built, he must quickly act to save his company and the woman he loves.
You can read Playing with A Billionaire novel on Bravonovel Web or App.
Playing with A Billionaire novel Chapter 1
Prologue
Emma Cole, a nerd in high school and untouched all throughout her life at a community college, was abandoned by her birth parents and grew up in foster care homes all around New York. Whenever her name was mentioned, the people who knew her laughed and called her foul names, since she looked like the female version of Steve Urkel and was easy to pick on and belittle. She had no sense of style. All she wore were big dresses that hid her tiny figure underneath and glasses which didn't do her eyes any justice. She owned one bag-- a beat-up leather she received as a gift from a spelling bee contest her freshman year in high school.
Though she went to school, she had no friends, no family, and no one to teach her about becoming a lady. Emma had done everything by herself since she was one year old-- the age she was dumped by her parents into the foster system.
At age twenty three, she lived in a very small apartment by herself. She wasn't able to land a high-paying job to afford a good house, as of yet. Every time she applied to a vacant position she may have seen in a newspaper in the cafe, they would turn her down when she went to the interviews and the interviewers took one look at her. Appearance was more than her qualifications if she wanted to land a job as a receptionist or personal assistant at one of the big firms in New York City.
Emma decided to stop hoping for a better job and stuck with being a waitress at Carl's Cafe.
Her hell on earth.
Carl was the manager and owner of the cafe. A grown man, forty-five years old, who had experienced all the things he had chosen to chase in his pathetic life. He was a terrible boss and treated his employees as his personal slaves with low wages. One of his nasty habits was hitting on his female employees while on the job, but he never hit on Emma. Although she was a female, she just wasn't his type and was too unattractive to even be bothered with.
____________
It was Wednesday morning.
Emma had only just clocked-in. She placed her bag in her designated locker and began to take the orders of the customers, who were already in abundance for their morning coffee or pancakes and eggs or any breakfast meals of their choice from the menus provided.
She was about to deliver the orders to the kitchen when a pair of hands grabbed her by the arm.
"You have to work a double today. Tisha is sick. I need you to fill in." And he was gone right after his command.
Emma continued to the kitchen to drop off the customers' orders. Since Tisha was sick, she would have to take her place at the cash register and coffee machines. She was about to have another terrible day in hell but, obeying Carl's command, she worked the double shift without complaint.
On Thursday, the same thing happened-- working a double without getting anything extra for filling in. And the same thing happened on Friday.
~~
Emma was drained, but it was finally Saturday, and it was her day off. She decided to visit a library and take several books to the park for a read. It was the beginning of summer, and she needed the fresh air.
She had just stepped out of her narrow bathroom when her cheap phone, which still had raised keys and couldn't connect to WiFi, rang.
"Emma, I need you to come in right now. Be here in less than twenty minutes!"
Before she could object he had hung up. She had really hoped for some free time to herself, and apart from that, she was exhausted, but she had to comply. How would she afford her crap apartment if she was jobless?
She took her precious time getting ready and arrived an hour later than Carl demanded she be there. He was furious with her and yelled at her as soon as she clocked in.
"I told your malnourished ass to be here in less than twenty minutes!"
Indeed Emma Cole appeared very skinny due to all the over-sized clothes she wore. Without even giving him a glance, she went to the customers to take their orders.
When she was making coffee for an angry, beer belly guy at the front of the line, who was yelling at her and calling her names, she lost her temper and threw the entire cup of coffee in his face. He had called her an incapable, handicapped, low-budget paying maid, who wouldn't even get extra if she shook it at a strip club because she looked like the hobbit in Lord of the Rings.
She had never been so humiliated. Yes, she had it rough in high school but it had gotten a little better at college because everyone there seemed much more mature than the bullies at high school. Now, this grown man was yelling at her because his coffee was ten minutes late. It wasn't even her fault. She was supposed to be off today. Had he kept his mouth shut, she wouldn't have splashed the coffee all over his chubby, beard-covered face.
Carl appeared just as the man was about to throw a table back at Emma. "Hey hey hey, what's going on here?"
"That incompetent waitress of yours just threw a damn cup of hot coffee in my face, man!"
"Sir, please calm down and put the table down. I'll handle this," Carl instructed. "Emma! You're fired!"
"What, you don't even want to hear what I have to say? He embarrassed me and..."
Carl cut her off, "Get your things and get out. I can't have you throwing coffee in people's faces and still have you working here. GET OUT, EMMA!!"
Emma threw her apron to the ground, took her bag out of the locker and walked out. "I hated it here anyway," she said as she passed Carl and the impatient customers on the way out.
Prologue ends here.
Emma's POV
I buried my head on my stale pillows when I got home, hitting them with my hands from my anger as the tears came.
I've been fired, what am I going to do now?
I somehow managed to gather myself and my emotions. It was still early.
"There's still time to go to the library and then the park," I said to myself as I got off the bed.
I changed into something skimpier, still concealing my entire figure underneath. I was insecure about my body and ashamed of the scars it possessed.
I started on my heel and headed to the library then the park. I was sitting on the bench reading Counting Raindrops Through A Stained Glass Window, when an old lady with platinum blonde hair sat down beside me.
"Hello dear," she greeted, kindly.
For an old woman by herself in the park, she wore very expensive jewelry. I could tell just by looking at it.
"Hello ma'am," I greeted back with a small smile. I continued with my book as she opened a newspaper.
Twenty minutes into reading, two men in black tuxedos approached our bench. They resembled characters in Men In Black-- not a smile on their faces as they took long strides toward us.
I panicked. I was easily frightened.
The elder woman stood up and extended her arms to them. They held onto her, supporting her to help her stand on her own two feet. They left without another word. Suddenly, I noticed she had forgotten her newspaper. I took it and ran in their direction.
"Excuse me, ma'am!" I called, getting a little closer, but was cutoff by one of the bodyguards.
"Can I help you miss?" he asked firmly, with a tone that made me regret running after them.
"I'm sorry, the... lady forgot ...her newspaper." I was out of breath. Damn, I needed to exercise more.
"Why don't you keep it and educate yourself? Maybe then you'll find out who 'the lady' is, so you can address her by her name next time."
His response was rude but encouraging. I walked back to the bench and watched as the black SUV drove away with her inside. I looked at the page she was reading to the left side of the article it stated: "Personal Assistant wanted at Hollen Tower. Terms and conditions apply."
And, of course, terms and conditions meant college education, knowledge about the job's responsibilities, punctual, fluent in English, impeccable character, previous work experience, related employment history, and more. I had applied for so many jobs like this before but gotten turned down once they looked at me-- like I wasn't human. I wasn't like them.
I wasn't like them, actually. I didn't own a house or a car or have expensive clothes and shoes, or have the ability to wine and dine at restaurants, but I was a human being too!
I was a plain and simple one. I lived in a cheap apartment, wore beat-up clothes that were stained and crumpled; I ate scraps left in the kitchen at Carl's Cafe after breakfast, lunch and dinner were served. After my rent was paid I usually had money for my essential needs, like feminine products and canned foods that didn't spoil in a hurry-- since I didn't own a refrigerator.
I was at rock bottom, but I'd accepted it and learned how to be satisfied with the little I had and could afford. I found comfort in reading books. I loved reading about the poor girls who found princes and billionaires who swept them off their feet, got married and lived happily ever after like Cinderella. I kept on wishing something like that would happen to me, but they were only books; they were fiction. In this modern world princes and billionaires didn't go for poor girls like me. They dated models and designers, and women with the looks, body, and beauty who could fit into their lifestyle. Who would want someone like me?
I got on my feet and left the park before it got too dark out. I was afraid of walking the streets at night.
I arrived at my apartment three hours later. I sat on a hard, uncomfortable chair as I read through the newspaper's articles one more time. Something at the back of my mind told me that I should give it one more shot, but something else just wanted me to give up.
"Look at your life, Emma, you got fired today. You're jobless, the rent would be due at the end of the month or else out on the street you go. You don't have anyone who could take you in and care about you. You have to try to get another job,"  said one side.
"Emma, just give up. You're not going to get a job at Hollen Tower. It's too grand for your taste. They'll do what they always do, take one look at you and turn their faces. Just give up, you'll be evicted, so what? You wouldn't be the first to get evicted and live on the streets. Why not join a gang?" said the other.
I was frustrated. I looked at my life and cried myself to sleep.
I knew when the clock struck seven the next morning I would be out of this shack and on my way to Hollen Tower. I needed to try just one more time.
This time I will make bigger efforts in my appearance to land the job. I will get the job, just watch.
......
Continue to read Chapter 2 of Playing with A Billionaire on Bravonovel Web https://www.bravonovel.com/playing-with-a-billionaire-7874/chapter-2--coffee-maid--131164 Read more exciting novels on Bravonovel App https://www.bravonovel.com/download-bravonovel-app
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darcyfarber · 3 years
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Yes! Married Couples Should Share a Bank Account
When Andrea and I got married in 2008, we opened up a joint checking account together. Both of our paychecks were directly deposited into the one joint account and all of our expenses came out of the same joint account. This is how we have handled our finances since day one and we both couldn’t imagine doing it any other way. But what about those who don’t share money in a marriage (or relationship)?  When I first started teaching personal finance, I had my blinders on. My focus was showing people how to create a simple budget, save more money and pay off debt.  One of the very first couples I started money coaching caught me by complete surprise: They had completely separate bank accounts!
Over 40% of married couples today have separate bank accounts.
Should you combine your finances?
My humble opinion – absolutely.
But, let me also tell you why I think it is so important.
Early on in our marriage I thought buying flowers for my wife would make her happy. However, her love language (per Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages), is acts of service and words of affirmation – NOT gifts.
Full Transparency is Good for Marriage
I’m not saying you have separate accounts because you are trying to hide anything from your spouse, but it could appear that way at no fault of your own.
If you’ve been married long enough, you know by now that communication errors between the two of you happen and when you take the 30,000 foot view of the disagreement, it’s often hard to pinpoint who was at fault.
Here’s an example:
The point of this example it wasn’t her fault or my fault – rather it was a simple misconception between us. 
When you have SEPARATE accounts, there will be an increased chance for misconceptions. 
Maybe you notice she’s wearing new clothes and you start wondering how much those clothes cost.
Then you start going down the rabbit hole of why she is spending this money and why she didn’t chip in more for groceries last month.
Oh, I see…your expensive clothes were more important that food for our family. 
Then resentment starts to creep in and all of a sudden she starts asking why you’re so quiet.
And then she starts thinking that you’re hiding something and this is why you’re so quiet….and as you can see this plays out like a dog chasing it’s tail.
If there was one joint bank account, they could simply login and see you didn’t buy those expensive clothes.
They were free because you signed up for a free trial at Rent the Runway (place to rent designer clothes). You didn’t spend any money at all!
What Happens if the Unthinkable Happens?
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Like I said above, Andrea have always shared one bank account since we said “I do”.
However, it wasn’t until a few years into our marriage when we sat down with a financial planner and he started asking questions about the finances.
I was quick to have all the answers and I will never forget when Brent (the financial planner) told me to stop answering all the questions because he wanted to see what Andrea’s response would be.
Andrea already knew about every transaction in our lives (she could see them), but she wasn’t quite sure how it was all managed. She knew how much money there was in our lives, but didn’t know where it all was and how to access it.
When Brent asked me why she didn’t know where everything was as, I replied with the obvious:
“Well, she can just ask me and I will tell her”.
Then Brent said,
“But what if you’re not around to tell her?”
Houston, we have a problem here.
He was spot on.
None of us know what today brings, right?
Also, I know the fact that you’re reading an email from me tells me that you are the one in the relationship who is the manager of the money.
Even if you currently share finances, something tells me you do most of the handling of the finances.
Am I right?
What happens if you’re not around to show you spouse the money stuff? 
Can you imagine the stress you are going to add onto your spouse if something happens to you AND they have no idea how to get into any of the finances in your lives? Don’t let this happen. It’s time to start sharing the money.
You Will Share a Bed, But Not a Bank Account?
I stole this saying from One Bed, One Bank Account: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage by Carrie and Derek Olsen.
Let me ask this: are we really willing to share a house, kids, grandkids, a bed, and everything else – but not a bank account?
Food for thought.
Create Goals, Build Dreams and Plan Your Future
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She’s thinking “yaaaay for the future”. I’m thinking “please pay attention” 😂
Money touches every single aspect of our lives. Everything.
You and your spouse should sit down together and create your goals, build on your dreams, and plan out where you want to both be TOGETHER in your future.
And guess what?
These dreams, goals and plans will depend on money at some point. Money doesn’t just buy “stuff”, it also buys your time and freedom from a life of working.
Sure, it may work to dream big and plan out goals with separate bank accounts, but how much easier will it be when the dreams and goals go from his and hers to “ours”?
5. Budgeting is SIMPLE with One Bank Account
Since 2015 I have helped over 1,000 families create a budget and some of them refused to combine finances into one account. So we built their budget with separate bank accounts. 
One bank account would pay for the mortgage, the other bank account would pay for groceries. She would buy gifts for the kids at Christmas and he would then transfer money from his account to hers.
Then she would have to add this in as “income” into her budget but then offset it with the 50% she paid for gifts. Then there was a copay he paid at the doctor for one of the kids but since she had the health insurance, they had the discussion if it should just be a wash.
And, she made more than he did (by quite a lot) and he didn’t think it was right that the spending was 50/50 in terms of amount but not a percentage. We decided to give the 50% rule a try instead of splitting the dollar amounts down the middle, but now we were having to get a calculator out to figure out how much each would pay and if that would include overtime he qualified for.
Finally I said: This would be so much easier if we just had one account.
They tried it and it blew their minds —  so much simpler!
3 Tips for Successful Combining of Finances
If you don’t currently share money and you’re thinking of giving it a try, I can already feel your nerves about it. I one hundred percent get it – if it were that simple you probably would be sharing money by now, right?
Here are a few tricks I have seen work over the years when couples make the move to start sharing money.
1. Fair and Equal are Not the Same Thing in a Marriage
This is just my personal opinion, but women spend more money frequently but men spend even more money a few times per year. My wife will spend about 98% of our “Department Store” budget each month. 
Why?
Because I can wear the same clothes for 10 years and still like them. She cannot.
On the flip side, I will spend thousands of dollars on a new camera, a new tool, or a new grill – and this happens maybe 1-2x per year.
She probably still spends more money than me, but then again I didn’t have to push two kids out my belly after 9 months of back pain and 24 hours of labor.
Fair and equal are not the same thing.
2. Baby Steps to a Shared Joint Account is Okay
Many couples have a separate bank account because there was some financial issues in the past and trust was lost.
If this is you, then of course you are hesitant to move all the finances back together and you have every right to feel this way.
In this situation, what if you took a graduated approach to combined finances?
Maybe start with giving login access to each other’s accounts or sharing bank statement with each other?
Get everything out in the open – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Once this has been accomplished, next open up a joint account and slowly start combining finances to it.
Maybe the first month the account is just for the mortgage and you equally fund it. Then next month you move into groceries, bills, etc.
Over time of the transparency, it will become easier to combine finances versus the ripping the bandaid method.
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3. Don’t Let Amounts Get in the Way of the Finances
Chances are you both don’t make the same amount of money.
Maybe one of you works full-time outside of the home for an income and the other works full-time inside the home without an income.
The point is both of you are necessary and both of you contribute to the income – either directly or indirectly.
For years, Andrea made way more money than me.
She was a television news anchor and I was an entry level firefighter. One thing we did really well is we made sure to never call it her money or my money – it was OUR money since it was in OUR bank account together.
Also, remember tip #1: fair and equal are not the same thing. 
One of the saddest truths of today is that 50% of marriages will end in divorce. The #1 cause of divorce in North America is infidelity.
The #2 cause of divorce in North America is money problems and money fights.
I tell all newly weds I meet with that marriage is WORK and it’s 100% worth it. And, if you want to give yourself a giant advantage in a marriage/relationship – then combine the finances.
By doing this, you are essentially removing the #2 cause of divorce today!
Do You Share a Bank Account? 
If yes, why? 
If no, why not?
I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment below and let us all know your thoughts or ideas on one bank account verus separate bank accounts.
God bless and thanks for reading Money Peach!
Yes! Married Couples Should Share a Bank Account published first on https://mysingaporepools.weebly.com/
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kennethherrerablog · 3 years
Text
Yes! Married Couples Should Share a Bank Account
When Andrea and I got married in 2008, we opened up a joint checking account together. Both of our paychecks were directly deposited into the one joint account and all of our expenses came out of the same joint account. This is how we have handled our finances since day one and we both couldn’t imagine doing it any other way. But what about those who don’t share money in a marriage (or relationship)?  When I first started teaching personal finance, I had my blinders on. My focus was showing people how to create a simple budget, save more money and pay off debt.  One of the very first couples I started money coaching caught me by complete surprise: They had completely separate bank accounts!
Over 40% of married couples today have separate bank accounts.
Should you combine your finances?
My humble opinion – absolutely.
But, let me also tell you why I think it is so important.
Early on in our marriage I thought buying flowers for my wife would make her happy. However, her love language (per Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages), is acts of service and words of affirmation – NOT gifts.
Full Transparency is Good for Marriage
I’m not saying you have separate accounts because you are trying to hide anything from your spouse, but it could appear that way at no fault of your own.
If you’ve been married long enough, you know by now that communication errors between the two of you happen and when you take the 30,000 foot view of the disagreement, it’s often hard to pinpoint who was at fault.
Here’s an example:
The point of this example it wasn’t her fault or my fault – rather it was a simple misconception between us. 
When you have SEPARATE accounts, there will be an increased chance for misconceptions. 
Maybe you notice she’s wearing new clothes and you start wondering how much those clothes cost.
Then you start going down the rabbit hole of why she is spending this money and why she didn’t chip in more for groceries last month.
Oh, I see…your expensive clothes were more important that food for our family. 
Then resentment starts to creep in and all of a sudden she starts asking why you’re so quiet.
And then she starts thinking that you’re hiding something and this is why you’re so quiet….and as you can see this plays out like a dog chasing it’s tail.
If there was one joint bank account, they could simply login and see you didn’t buy those expensive clothes.
They were free because you signed up for a free trial at Rent the Runway (place to rent designer clothes). You didn’t spend any money at all!
What Happens if the Unthinkable Happens?
Tumblr media
Like I said above, Andrea have always shared one bank account since we said “I do”.
However, it wasn’t until a few years into our marriage when we sat down with a financial planner and he started asking questions about the finances.
I was quick to have all the answers and I will never forget when Brent (the financial planner) told me to stop answering all the questions because he wanted to see what Andrea’s response would be.
Andrea already knew about every transaction in our lives (she could see them), but she wasn’t quite sure how it was all managed. She knew how much money there was in our lives, but didn’t know where it all was and how to access it.
When Brent asked me why she didn’t know where everything was as, I replied with the obvious:
“Well, she can just ask me and I will tell her”.
Then Brent said,
“But what if you’re not around to tell her?”
Houston, we have a problem here.
He was spot on.
None of us know what today brings, right?
Also, I know the fact that you’re reading an email from me tells me that you are the one in the relationship who is the manager of the money.
Even if you currently share finances, something tells me you do most of the handling of the finances.
Am I right?
What happens if you’re not around to show you spouse the money stuff? 
Can you imagine the stress you are going to add onto your spouse if something happens to you AND they have no idea how to get into any of the finances in your lives? Don’t let this happen. It’s time to start sharing the money.
You Will Share a Bed, But Not a Bank Account?
I stole this saying from One Bed, One Bank Account: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage by Carrie and Derek Olsen.
Let me ask this: are we really willing to share a house, kids, grandkids, a bed, and everything else – but not a bank account?
Food for thought.
Create Goals, Build Dreams and Plan Your Future
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She’s thinking “yaaaay for the future”. I’m thinking “please pay attention” 😂
Money touches every single aspect of our lives. Everything.
You and your spouse should sit down together and create your goals, build on your dreams, and plan out where you want to both be TOGETHER in your future.
And guess what?
These dreams, goals and plans will depend on money at some point. Money doesn’t just buy ��stuff”, it also buys your time and freedom from a life of working.
Sure, it may work to dream big and plan out goals with separate bank accounts, but how much easier will it be when the dreams and goals go from his and hers to “ours”?
5. Budgeting is SIMPLE with One Bank Account
Since 2015 I have helped over 1,000 families create a budget and some of them refused to combine finances into one account. So we built their budget with separate bank accounts. 
One bank account would pay for the mortgage, the other bank account would pay for groceries. She would buy gifts for the kids at Christmas and he would then transfer money from his account to hers.
Then she would have to add this in as “income” into her budget but then offset it with the 50% she paid for gifts. Then there was a copay he paid at the doctor for one of the kids but since she had the health insurance, they had the discussion if it should just be a wash.
And, she made more than he did (by quite a lot) and he didn’t think it was right that the spending was 50/50 in terms of amount but not a percentage. We decided to give the 50% rule a try instead of splitting the dollar amounts down the middle, but now we were having to get a calculator out to figure out how much each would pay and if that would include overtime he qualified for.
Finally I said: This would be so much easier if we just had one account.
They tried it and it blew their minds —  so much simpler!
3 Tips for Successful Combining of Finances
If you don’t currently share money and you’re thinking of giving it a try, I can already feel your nerves about it. I one hundred percent get it – if it were that simple you probably would be sharing money by now, right?
Here are a few tricks I have seen work over the years when couples make the move to start sharing money.
1. Fair and Equal are Not the Same Thing in a Marriage
This is just my personal opinion, but women spend more money frequently but men spend even more money a few times per year. My wife will spend about 98% of our “Department Store” budget each month. 
Why?
Because I can wear the same clothes for 10 years and still like them. She cannot.
On the flip side, I will spend thousands of dollars on a new camera, a new tool, or a new grill – and this happens maybe 1-2x per year.
She probably still spends more money than me, but then again I didn’t have to push two kids out my belly after 9 months of back pain and 24 hours of labor.
Fair and equal are not the same thing.
2. Baby Steps to a Shared Joint Account is Okay
Many couples have a separate bank account because there was some financial issues in the past and trust was lost.
If this is you, then of course you are hesitant to move all the finances back together and you have every right to feel this way.
In this situation, what if you took a graduated approach to combined finances?
Maybe start with giving login access to each other’s accounts or sharing bank statement with each other?
Get everything out in the open – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Once this has been accomplished, next open up a joint account and slowly start combining finances to it.
Maybe the first month the account is just for the mortgage and you equally fund it. Then next month you move into groceries, bills, etc.
Over time of the transparency, it will become easier to combine finances versus the ripping the bandaid method.
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3. Don’t Let Amounts Get in the Way of the Finances
Chances are you both don’t make the same amount of money.
Maybe one of you works full-time outside of the home for an income and the other works full-time inside the home without an income.
The point is both of you are necessary and both of you contribute to the income – either directly or indirectly.
For years, Andrea made way more money than me.
She was a television news anchor and I was an entry level firefighter. One thing we did really well is we made sure to never call it her money or my money – it was OUR money since it was in OUR bank account together.
Also, remember tip #1: fair and equal are not the same thing. 
One of the saddest truths of today is that 50% of marriages will end in divorce. The #1 cause of divorce in North America is infidelity.
The #2 cause of divorce in North America is money problems and money fights.
I tell all newly weds I meet with that marriage is WORK and it’s 100% worth it. And, if you want to give yourself a giant advantage in a marriage/relationship – then combine the finances.
By doing this, you are essentially removing the #2 cause of divorce today!
Do You Share a Bank Account? 
If yes, why? 
If no, why not?
I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment below and let us all know your thoughts or ideas on one bank account verus separate bank accounts.
God bless and thanks for reading Money Peach!
Yes! Married Couples Should Share a Bank Account published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/
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asfeedin · 4 years
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How to Reduce or Delay Paying Your Bills During the COVID-19 Crisis
The COVID-19 pandemic is wreaking havoc on the finances of many people. Over 22 million workers have become unemployed in a short period of time. Unemployment benefits are available for laid off workers, freelancers, independent contractors, and gig workers, but the availability of some of those benefits has been delayed due to the crush of applications and the need for unemployment offices to create and install new payment systems.
In the meantime, bills are piling up for financially strapped individuals. Many creditors are willing to help you through this difficult time. But the key is to reach out to the creditors before you fall into default, explain your situation, and ask for hardship assistance.
Creditors are receptive now to granting financial help, as they are under tremendous regulatory, governmental, and PR pressures to help affected individuals. And the recent CARES Act enacted by the federal government on March 17, 2020, provides various protections and benefits for individuals and small businesses.
It’s best to request accommodation before you fall behind in your payments. Otherwise, this could ultimately hurt you credit score.
The accommodations typically fall into deferred payments and waived payments. Deferred payments mean that you don’t have to make the payment now, but that you will have to do so at some later agreed upon date. A waived payment means that you don’t have to repay it.
The following provides some advice on how to reduce or delay paying your crucial bills.
Rent
Rent is one of the biggest expenses for individuals.
In many states now, including California and New York, landlords are prohibited for some period of time from performing evictions on renters who can’t pay their rent because of the pandemic.
The Department of Housing and Urban Development has also stopped eviction proceedings of tenants who occupy properties it owns.
With so many renters feeling the economic strain, a number of landlords have been willing to consider the following accommodations:
Temporary rent relief for 1 to 3 months
Acceptance of partial payment for overdue rent
Lowering of the amount of rent moving forward
Allowing use of the tenant’s security deposit toward rent
Landlords do not want to be looking for replacement tenants in this environment, so they may be willing to make some accommodations.
A phone call or email to your landlord explaining your situation is the best first step. Here is a sample email that you can send to your landlord, which you can tailor to your individual situation: 
Dear ______:
As you know, I am a tenant at your property at [Address, City], Apt #___. I am writing this email to let you know that due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I am suffering financial hardship. [I have been laid off from my job.] [My freelance work has been severely affected by the pandemic.] [I have had to file for unemployment benefits, but due to the crush of applications to the unemployment office, my payments have been delayed.]
I have been a good and responsible tenant in the past, and I want to continue being a good tenant, but I am respectfully requesting the following financial accommodation from you to help me get through this difficult time:
Waiver of the next two (2) months of rent while my finances improve
Lowering of my rent thereafter going forward to $___ a month
If you would be kind enough to grant me these accommodations, that would be a great step forward for me personally to resolve my financial problems. I would be very grateful for this assistance.
Thank you. I hope you and your family are staying healthy.
Sincerely,
[Name]
Credit Cards
Most credit card issuers, including Bank of America, Capital One, and Wells Fargo, are granting one or more of the following concessions to cardholders who are suffering financially from the pandemic:
Deferring required payments for a month or more
Waiving late fees
Waiving interest or lowering the interest rate
Implementing an extended payment plan
Increasing credit limits
The first step is to contact the credit card issuer. Their phone number is on the back of your credit card. It may difficult to get through, as many cardholders are calling them. Check their website for ways to notify them through email or through an online submission form.
To avoid an accommodation hurting your credit score, ask that your payments be marked “current” on your credit file rather than “delinquent.”
If you can’t quickly get an accommodation, try to at least make the minimum payment set forth on your statement to avoid a hit to your credit score.
Mortgages
The CARES Act provides for a 60- or 180-day moratorium on payments due on federally backed mortgages (such as from Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac).
In California, some 200 banks have offered a 90-day deferral on mortgage payments. Lenders in other states may follow the California example.
The key again is to contact your lender as soon as possible and see what accommodations are available.
Gas and Electric Bills
Many utilities are granting accommodations to people who can’t pay their gas or electric bill right now. A number of utilities are suspending shutoffs for non-payment. Some states have implemented prohibitions on shutoffs for 90 days.
It’s best to reach out to your utility to explore what options may be available to you. At the very least, utilities should be willing to enter into an extended payment plan.
Phone and Internet Service Bills
Many phone and Internet service providers are willing to grant some concessions. Verizon, AT&T, and Comcast are each waiving some fees, promising not to cut off service for some time, and/or providing cheaper service alternatives.
Many of these companies don’t want to lose customers during the pandemic, so you may be able to negotiate a 50% or more savings on your phone and Internet service bills.
Car Payments
Ford and other automakers are allowing some customers to defer payments on their existing car loans. Some car companies are also offering new car buyers the option to delay their first payment on their car loan by 90 days.
Bank lenders, such as Bank of America, are offering 90 to 120 days of deferrals on auto loans. But this doesn’t happen automatically—you typically need to apply on the bank’s website for the deferral. Deferral payments will most often be added to the loan principal and payable at the end of the term of the loan.
Reach out to your auto loan service provider to see if they will defer or reduce some of your payments.
Taxes
Under the CARES Act, all individuals can now defer paying any federal income tax that was previously due on April 15, 2020, to July 15, 2020, without incurring any penalties or interest.
To get the $1,200 stimulus payment from the government, most individual must have filed their 2018 or 2019 tax return with the IRS. See the comprehensive discussion of the stimulus payment at IRS Announces Launch of Online Tool to Tract the Status of Your Stimulus Payment and to Have It Direct Deposited
If you are filing your 2019 tax return with the IRS before July 15, 2020, you don’t have to pay any taxes owed until July 15, 2020. If you need more time beyond July 15, 2020, to file your tax return, you can request an extension by filing IRS Form 4868.
The CARES Act granted the extension for federal tax filings and payments, but it is expected that many states will also provide for that extension for state tax requirements.
Student Loans
The CARES Act gives some relief to borrowers under certain student loans. For designated federal student loans, you don’t have to make any principal payment until September 30, 2020 (although this is a deferral, and thus the principal payment will have to be made at some point). Interest is waived entirely until September 30, 2020, and does not need to be repaid for those federal student loans.
Since only certain student loans are covered by the above, you should contact your loan servicer and ask what accommodations are available. You should also check the Federal Student Aid website at www.studentaid.gov.
The studentaid.gov site provides this additional guidance:
“If you’re in a short-term financial bind, you may qualify for a deferment or forbearance. With either of these options, you can temporarily suspend your payments….
Because of the impact on interest and potential loan forgiveness, it might be worth exploring another repayment plan before you consider deferment or forbearance. For example, your payments could be more affordable if you change to an income-driven repayment plan.
Contact your loan servicer to find out if another repayment plan might be the best option for you.”
But be sure to consider that any deferred interest obtained could be added to the principal of your loan (causing more interest to accrue over time) unless the lender waives the interest entirely and permanently. Certain lenders are required to permanently waive the interest as described above and other lenders may be willing to follow suit.
Other Bills
Now is the time to reassess what services you are paying for and budget for the new financial reality. Consider the following:
Can you cut the cord on your TV services?
Do you really need a landline phone?
Do you really need multiple music streaming services?
Can you cut down on takeout food?
Are there cheaper alternatives for some of the services you are paying for?
Are your service providers willing to renegotiate payment amounts?
Is it time to quit smoking cigarettes given how expensive they are?
You should especially review any automatic payments that are made from your checking account.
Conclusion
Cash is king right now, so do what you can to conserve cash for essentials like groceries, medicine, and phone bills. Try to build up an emergency fund. Prioritize your payments and get deferrals and waivers from creditors as suggested in this article.
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allislaughter · 4 years
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This got really long so there’s a read more but apologies if it doesn’t work on your device it’s very negative so maybe scroll by quickly idk
Had a bit of stress earlier buuut got some Things figured out, got some tea, and I feel a little better. In a really bitter situation but I’m chill, I’m surviving, just would like it if I got more credit for what I am doing instead of getting berated for what I’m not. I’m the one trying to be mature and civil and help out. It doesn’t feel fair that I’m not allowed to take care of myself without getting the silent treatment or treated like I’m doing it solely to hinder other people. It doesn’t feel fair that it’s framed like I have to put aside my mental health for others, even when some of those others have hurt me and are partially responsible for affecting my mental health negatively.
Okay tbh at the end of 2018 I think it was, I had like 3000+ dollars in my savings. But I keep having to lend my mom money and she pays me back in increments of 50 which because of other expenses that crop up does not go back into my savings like it should, so that 3k+ is down to like 600 and she still owes me like 1200 now. I was supposed to be saving for a car so i can learn to drive because she doesn’t want to teach me to drive until i have my own car.
i was supposed to get a car since my parents have a third one now that my brother is currently not living here, at least temporarily since he might come back even though he’s abusive as heck. But my dad doesn’t want me to drive a sedan and insists i need to have a compact suv but refuses to get me one because he doesn’t want me to learn to drive.
Mom wants me to get a job so i can pay more for rent. I can’t get a job until i have a car and a driver’s license. In the meantime I work for her and she constantly makes me feel bad about it saying that she could do that work and doesn’t need me as an employee. She pays me a lot, yes, but she only did that so I could give her over half my paycheck back to her as rent so it helps her with her taxes. It’s not to help me at all.
Meanwhile my parents have given my brother thousands of dollars over the years that he never paid back. My brother is in thousands of dollars of debt. He asks for more and more money and they give it to him because they’re afraid of him hurting them if he doesn’t. They still let him live with them up til he had been sent to a mental hospital for reasons I don’t want to get into. My mom owes me money, that I gave her to pay for some of my brother’s things, but if I ask for any money she complains about not having any. She got mad at me for wanting to go to therapy for 35 dollars a session when my brother was a therapy for twice that. After I stopped going, later when I suggested I might need to go back she got mad because “it’s expensive”
I was going to keep this vague but no, i want to rant about this. Today’s stressor was the fact Sunday is supposed to be Disney Days, meaning I go with my mom to Disney World since we have annual passes there. I’ve been depressed the last several months because of my brother so I haven’t wanted to go and upon reflection I realized that Disney wasn’t making me happy anymore anyway. We been going at least once a month since November 2012 and almost once a week the last few years. It was starting to feel like a chore/an obligation and it was stressing me out so much trying to plan for something i didn’t want to go to.
So I texted my mom today explaining that going to Disney doesn’t make me happy anymore so I want to stop going. I told her that she can still go and that I’ll pay for my ticket instead of her paying for it since that seemed fair. I said I’d be willing to work with her for whatever we need to do so she can be happy without me sacrificing my happiness. Later when she picked me up to get food she refused to talk to me about it and refused to be mature about it when we did talk about it and at several points just ignored me completely and said nothing. It should be noted that she gets upset with me every time I say I don’t want to go on individual days but that we had made a deal a while back that I’m allowed to stay home if I don’t feel up to going because she gets mad at me if i go when i’m “in a mood” that is to say when I’m forced to go when I don’t want to. I’ve never been allowed not to go regardless of my feelings without it being about her happiness being taken away when she knows she can go without me. I finally put my foot down about this today because it’s really unfair and I was willing to pay for the rest of my annual pass myself and figure out whatever we needed to so she can still have something to make her happy but she essentially blamed me for deciding not to go since, apparently, dad won’t let her go by herself even though she’s a 50 year old adult. She was expecting me to consider to suffer for her sake.
Later on her sister called saying they needed to send money to the philippines for a family thing. Mom said she needed 1000 dollars for it but could get away with sending 500 but “i don’t want to ask dad for the 500 because even tho he’ll give it to me he’ll be rude about it” so I offered to let her borrow 500 of the 1000 I have in my savings currently even though she still owes me 700. During this discussion I mentioned again that “this won’t affect how i have the 70 for the disney pass budgeted” to which she pointed out I was assuming I’d have to pay for the disney pass when she had refused to talk to me every other time i tried talking about it and so had no choice but to assume I’d be the one to pay for it since that’s what i thought was fair. She said she’ll continue to pay for it but it’s insulting for her to treat me like that.
It’s just a lot of like. Build-Up of terrible things. The only reason I have so little money compared to what i need for my goals to improve myself as a person is because she keeps borrowing money that I can’t efficiently put back into savings. I can’t ask for money without her getting mad and acting like I’m asking for her life savings. Meanwhile my brother bleeds my parents dry and abuses all three of us yet they keep supporting him anyway and neglect to give me any sort of emotional support.
last sunday i didn’t go to disney because i got really upset from another nightmare i had about my brother. she got mad when i said i didn’t want to go. later when i told her about the dream she treated me as if i was stupid for having the dream/letting it affect me. Even though the main part of the dream that made me upset was two doctors in the dream saying it was my own fault for getting upset at all the ways my brother abused me in the past. like HECK I didn’t even realize until just now that she treated me exactly how I was treated in that dream even though I had just told her that’s what made me too upset to go to disney.
i’m just. really upset and tired. I want to be able to say i love my family but no. I hate my brother. My dad’s not good. and I’m realizing now that my mom clearly doesn’t care about me as more than a conduit for her own therapy/personal gain without me getting the help I need in return. I want to go. I want to leave. None of them respect the fact I’m trans. I’m not allowed to learn to drive or have money or spend money on things to make myself happy. I’m not allowed to get a job unless it means giving them more money. I’m not allowed to have emotions without it being treated like I’m doing it to hinder them or cost them money.
it’s always fucking money!!! I hate it!!! just stop paying me then!! just take it all!! fucking stop giving me any if you want it so badly!!! stop guilt tripping me about asking for ten bucks to buy basic needs since you need thousands so badly to pay for things for your abusive son that he just breaks or gets rid of after!!!
fucking acting like I’m the terrible one for insinuating i want to move out of state to get away from all of you. why fucking wouldn’t i at this point? i hate all of this!!
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joannaarobinson · 5 years
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Day in the Life | Katie Thompson
Welcome to our “Day in the Life” series! We feature wedding and event planners from around the world with many different levels of experience. If you would like to be featured, download our questionnaire here and email your responses and photos to [email protected]. We are excited to feature Mexico wedding planner Katie Thompson today!
Name: Katie Thompson
Business Name & Location: Wanderlust Weddings Baja, Los Cabos, Mexico
Years Working in the Event Industry: 14 years
Years Owning Your Event Planning Business: 10 years
Website: www.wanderlustweddingsbaja.com
Business Facebook Page: Baja Wedding Planner
Instagram: @bajaweddingplanner
What is your typical day like? 
When I don’t have an event, I love to relax in the morning by doing CrossFit, hiking in the desert, taking the dogs on a beach walk, and swimming in my pool. After that, about 11 a.m., I hit it hard! It’s time to sit down at my computer and get the work done.
Because I live in Cabo San Lucas, where everyone else comes to vacation and party, it can be a bit difficult sometimes to pull myself away from the beach, the food, and the fun! But I always have so much to do, so Cabo for me is more about work than the good times.
During the week, I work on social media, promotions, marketing, and writing my blog.  I also spend time connecting with my clients via email and phone. I spend quite a bit of time doing paperwork, updating wedding budgets, invoicing, and creating wedding and event timelines. I take the time to manage the tasks related to running a planning business as well.
I make time to visit new and old venues where I can take pictures, get updates on the venue properties, and make new contacts. This reinforces for me how gorgeous our little part of the world is and that Los Cabo is definitely a destination wedding paradise.
How did you get started in the industry?
It’s actually a funny story! Like many others here in Cabo, I came here on vacation in 2004 and really never left. My family (husband & 3 kids) and I sold our house in California, bought a beachfront lot a bit north of Cabo, lived in a trailer on the property, and put our kids in school in a small town called Todos Santos.
Then, we looked at each other and said, “Well, one of us has to work. One of us has to take care of the kids. Whoever gets a job first will work.” There is a small local newspaper here called the GringoGazette that had an ad for a commission-only job for a Wedding Coordinator for a small American-owned wedding company in Cabo. I applied (buying an interview outfit at a department store on my way to the interview as I’d been living in my bathing suit for months), and it’s been wedding planning for me ever since!
I worked for this company for 4 years, planning and coordinating about 50 weddings a year.  I also started my planning company, Dazzle ‘Em Event Design.  When the company I was working for closed,  I expanded my event planning business to include the ever-growing and beautiful Todos Santos/Pescadero area, about an hour north of Cabo. I have re-branded and re-named my company, Wanderlust Weddings Baja, to better reflect my client base and the way I view my business and the type of weddings I create.
What inspires you? 
Los Cabos inspires me! Living in Mexico inspires me. The beach, the sunset, the views, the crashing waves, the Mexican people, the stunning resorts, and wedding venues here inspire me.
It is vibrant and gorgeous everywhere I look – cacti, palm treas, bouganvillea, bright colors, aqua ocean water, palapa roofs, mariachi music drifting down the street. There is a reason Mexican destination weddings are so popular…the spirit of love is everywhere.
I am inspired by the architecture and landscaping everywhere I look – rustic, colonial, modern, sleek.
I am a Pinterest fiend, and I do need to keep up with U.S. wedding industry trends, as all of my clients are American and have American aesthetics as well.
What are your favorite online resources for your business? 
I use the wedding planning program, Planning Pod, to keep my events organized and up-to-date. I love that I can share specific parts of the program with my clients so we can share information that way. The program also includes a wedding website and an RSVP collection link so this is an easy way to plan menus, food counts for BEOs, and seating plans.
I love to recommend The Man Registry because sometimes the grooms get overlooked and they have great ideas and wants and needs too.
I also love Dropbox and the ease with which I can share everything (especially photos!). And of course, Instagram and Facebook.
Aside from wedding and event planning, how do you spend your time? 
My children are now grown and living back in the U.S. so I have more free time now. I schedule my business so that my husband and I can travel during the slow season here. No one wants an outdoor beach wedding during a hurricane!
We recently traveled to Amsterdam, New York City, New Zealand and Australia, San Miguel de Allende, and Alaska. We also camp and surf all up and down the Baja. Our next big trip will be an overland camping trip through Africa. We also rent casitas on our property here in Los Cabos and we think running the rental business is fun and interesting! We meet people from all over the world who want to explore the Baja.
Katie, thank you so much for taking the time to share your story and a day in your life. If you are an event planner and would like to be featured, download our questionnaire today and email it to us along with a photo. If you aren’t sure about being featured, take a few minutes to read how it can help your business.
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from Event Planning Essentials https://plannerslounge.com/day-in-the-life-katie-thompson/ via http://www.rssmix.com/
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brajeshupadhyay · 4 years
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UK’s accidental savers: Poll shows many are better off in lockdown 
Thousands of us have picked up a surprise savings habit in lockdown, a Money Mail survey reveals today.
The coronavirus crisis has inflicted job losses and pay cuts – and still threatens to kill off many struggling businesses.
But despite the doom and gloom, many Mail readers have found they are saving hundreds of pounds thanks to lockdown, and becoming more financially secure as a result.
Spending cuts: Despite the doom and gloom, many readers have found themselves saving hundreds of pounds thanks to lockdown and becoming more financially secure as a result 
Large expenses such as holidays, commuting costs and entertainment have vanished following unprecedented social-distancing restrictions – giving households the chance to set aside money during an economically uncertain time.
Exclusive research for Money Mail by Consumer Intelligence today suggests 16 per cent of people now feel financially better off. Almost half are spending less since social-distancing restrictions were introduced, with 38 per cent saving more.
Nearly four in five families say they have more money to spend since lockdown, with a quarter having between £200 and £500 more in disposable income each month.
The findings come as figures from the Bank of England yesterday showed the nation saved £16.2 billion in April. In the six months to February households saved an average of £5 billion every month.
What is more, households cleared an astonishing £5 billion of credit-card debt, which was more than double the previous record of £2.4 billion paid off in March. In a standard month the nation would usually clear £300 million of credit-card debt.
Becky O’Connor, personal finance specialist at insurer Royal London, says: ‘A financial divide has opened up during lockdown.
‘While some are really struggling on reduced incomes, there’s another group whose experience has been almost the exact opposite.
‘If you are in a position to do so, there might never be a better time to ‘build back better’ and save.’
Here, Money Mail meets some of the nation’s new ‘accidental savers’.
At last, I’ve managed to build a little nest egg 
By HENRY DEEDES 
All my life I’ve been a spender rather than a saver. Whatever I’ve earned during my career, my bank account has always puffed and wheezed its way through to pay day.
I’ve tried to be sensible. I’ve opened saving accounts, dabbled in Isas. I even bought Premium Bonds once. Much good it’s done me.
You see, any disposable cash I’ve ever had has this annoying habit of winking at me through the computer glass, urging me to go out and enjoy it.
Terrible, I know, but there’s something innately therapeutic about rewarding yourself after a busy week with a little something. 
A case of wine, something new to hang in the flat. Perhaps another ill-advised addition to the summer wardrobe from a tempting online emporium.
Invariably, no sooner have I clicked the purchase button and the boiler will suddenly crank to halt and there’ll be nothing in the cookie jar to pay for a repair. I never learn.
Lockdown has changed all that. Like a lot of people, I imagine, being trapped inside an apartment for the best part of three months has brought about a vast reduction in expenses.
No need now for expensive Travelcards, pricey gym memberships or all those overpriced cups of coffee every day.
And that’s before you’ve taken into account what I used to spend going out to see friends. 
Remember socialising? Drinks rounds, restaurant bills. I dread to think how much I used to splurge on late-night Uber journeys during normal times. But it was a lot.
And so with all these weighty charges lifted from my balance sheet, I’ve started to experience a novelty.
When I check my balance at the end of the month, there’s now actually something left in the kitty. In the past I’d have been tempted to do something extravagant. ‘Why not?’ would have been my attitude.
But in these times of enforced isolation, that thinking has been replaced with what’s the point?
Instead, I’ve been putting it in an online investment Isa with savings app Moneybox. I pay a set amount in each month, as well as any additional funds I might have left over. 
It also has a nifty feature which rounds up all my debit card transactions to the nearest pound and automatically squirrels away the extra cash.
H ow satisfying it has been, how oddly empowering. Each time I check to see how my savings are accruing I now get that same whoosh of excitement I used to get when an Amazon parcel would plonk through my letterbox.
It would be nice to think that when this is all over, when the High Street tills begin to ring again and when the beer pumps start flowing, I will be able to maintain this spirit of restraint. 
If nothing else, this pandemic has taught us how quickly life can go south. In bleak times it pays to be prudent.
Doubtless this is the last thing Chancellor Rishi Sunak wants to hear. As we re-emerge from lockdown, he needs as many idiots like me as possible flashing their plastic around with reckless abandon to get our ravaged economy moving.
But if this crisis does make some a little more financially responsible, surely that’s no bad thing in the long term.  
I have cleared my credit card 
  Olivia McCulla, who works in PR, has saved by moving back in with her parents
By moving back in with her parents, Olivia McCulla, who works in PR, has saved enough to pay off her £1,000 credit card debt.
She still pays £775 a month in rent for her flat in North-West London but gets £100 back that would usually go on bills because she isn’t there.
Her £120-a-month travel costs and £150-a-week work lunch habit have also disappeared while she works from her parents’ home near Leeds.
She has also saved thousands after the two hen-dos and four weddings she was supposed to attend this summer were postponed.
However, she now has eight weddings in the diary next year to budget for.
Olivia, 29, who wants to buy a property in the next few years, has opened a new savings account.
She says: ‘It feels more important than ever to have a rainy-day fund with things being so uncertain.
‘In London I was paying £9.50 for a gin and tonic and through the nose for a very small flat I dread going back to.
‘Lockdown has made me question if I even want to buy in London.’
Before the coronavirus crisis, Olivia was saving about £100 a month.
Her father Bernard, 65, and his wife Susan, 66, have seen their household costs rise slightly since their daughter moved home but are also saving money each month. 
They previously spent £100 eating out each week, so their bank balance is boosted by £400 a month. And instead of paying a tradesman £2,000 to replace his patio with a flower garden, Bernard did it himself and slashed the cost in half.
Before social-distancing regulations were relaxed, Bernard was also saving £180 a month on his golf and walking-football memberships.
He says: ‘We are very fortunate. Lockdown has made me think we should live more for today and enjoy our pensions more.’
I feel guilty I’m better off 
Quids in: Ashleigh Meale is saving between £500 and £700 a month
Ashleigh Meale says her ‘stripped-back life’ means she is now saving between £500 and £700 a month.
This is despite her grocery bill doubling to £400 a month and signing up to a TV and film- streaming service costing £60 a year.
Before lockdown, the 27-year-old recruitment consultant, who is currently working from home, was putting away between £250 and £500 but would spend hundreds of pounds a month socialising with friends at expensive bars and restaurants. 
Now, she and her boyfriend Rob, 38, cook their meals from scratch at home.
Ashleigh, who lives in Sheffield, is also saving £70 a month by working from home and not having to pay to commute by bus.
She has also been unable to spend money on holidays since the Government warned against non-essential travel.
Ashleigh admits that, while she is not a natural saver, she has now realised how much she spends unnecessarily and hopes to remain mindful about what expenses she reintroduces when restrictions are finally lifted.
She says: ‘Feeling better off financially during this time is a strange position to be in and it does make me feel guilty when so many people are struggling. But it has given me time to re-evaluate things, and I have no intention of blowing what I’ve saved.
‘I don’t need to be out all the time spending money on eating out and drinks when I could be just as happy with a barbecue in someone’s garden. What I have missed the most is my friends — not the expensive socialising.’
Pay cut but £400-a-month saving 
Sally Walsh is saving an extra £400 a month on top of £200 she was already setting aside in a help-to-buy Isa
Sally Walsh was worried when she was told she would have to take a 10 per cent pay cut in March.
But despite the shock announcement, the 24-year-old engineer has found her finances have improved during lockdown.
She is now saving an extra £400 a month on top of £200 she was already setting aside in a help-to-buy Isa.
Since working from home, Sally has saved around £200 a month by not having to commute to central London, and a further £200 by not eating or drinking out after work.
The only bill to go up is her food cost now she cooks almost every meal at home.
Sally, who has lived with her parents in Bromley, South-East London since graduating, is determined to continue saving even after lockdown lifts.
She says: ‘My goal is to move out as soon as possible. I feel like I am closer to it now.
‘I don’t have to spend so much on going out. I hope I will soon be able to have people over and cook for them.’
Childcare cut by thousands 
Claire Jarrett and her partner Jon Howell are saving £50 a day in train fares alone
Claire Jarrett and her partner Jon Howell have saved enough since lockdown to pay for renovations on their home.
The couple need to fix the roof on their house in West Malling, Kent, and want to make the garden more child-friendly for their one-year-old daughter, Eleanor, to play.
Claire, 31, had only been back at work for two days after returning from maternity leave before staff were told they had to work from home.
With Jon, also 31, working from home too, they are saving £50 a day in train fares alone by not having to commute to the insurance firm where they both work in Bromley, South-East London.
They are also saving around £5 a day on lunches at work, £80 a month on petrol and £200 a month by not eating out.
But their biggest saving has been on childcare.
It usually costs £800 a month to send Eleanor to nursery — but the couple have not had to pay since March.
It has helped the couple to replenish their savings after Claire’s maternity leave and move their renovation plans a bit further forward.
However Claire says their financial gain is likely to be short-lived.
She says: ‘Lockdown has made us realise we do not need to go out as much but lots of the costs will be re-introduced when life goes back to normal, unfortunately.’
Not relying on investments 
Retired Gerry Short is making savings by not playing golf, employing a cleaner or taking weekend theatre trips
Retired Gerry Short has seen such a drop in his spending that he has decided to stop withdrawing income from his investments for the next couple of years.
Gerry, 61, a former college principal, has two pensions that pay £20,000 a year. He gets a further £16,000 a year from investments. 
After the pandemic hit the stock market, his investments plummeted. While they have recovered slightly, he wants to give them time to recover.
His reduced outgoings mean he can do this as he is making savings on weekend theatre trips which can cost up to £100 a time. 
He was refunded £60 of his golf-club membership. He also stopped spending £20 on drinks three or four times a week after games. 
The father-of-one, who lives in Leicestershire, also no longer employs a cleaner, which cost £100 a month.
He says: ‘I was aware I was spending a lot as a distraction after my wife died and knew it couldn’t continue. Lockdown has given me time to plan further in the future.’
Windfall from lost holiday 
Dannielle Phillips has had to put expensive holiday plans on halt
Dannielle Phillips, 32, spends most of her spare cash on trips away.
But since lockdown kicked in, expensive holiday plans have ground to a halt. She has already got an £870 refund for a trip to Mexico that was supposed to take place in April.
And she has received a £500 voucher she can use to re-book her holiday to Portugal in June for next year.
Dannielle, a senior marketing consultant, had always put £250 a month into Premium Bonds, but has since increased this to £750 a month.
Since lockdown began, she has saved around £2,500 in total, which she says would have been impossible for her before.
She has always checked her banking apps frequently, but is definitely more aware of incoming and outgoing transactions now.
Dannielle, who lives in Croydon, South London, says she also feels very lucky it worked out like this because she had originally handed in her notice in February and was planning to leave after finishing a project six weeks later.
But the new job she had been offered fell through so her company agreed to rehire her.
Dannielle says: ‘I am looking forward to lockdown ending but also dreading it because I will need to rebalance old habits.
‘I’m going to try to budget more at the weekends because I want to keep saving to buy a house.
‘Building up my savings has become more important to me because the future feels so uncertain.’
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heyoh-headwoes · 6 years
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I am so jaded at my job. I just don’t really give a fuck anymore. The low wages and lack of benefits are so draining. The worst part is I know I will never get a raise at this job, the budget is just too tight. I don’t even know how we stay open sometimes. 
I’m making $15 dollars an hour and I can only work 24 hours a week. The director is making $17.50 dollars and is also supposed to technically work only 24 hours a week, but she is here at least 40 hours a week. Our director hasn’t received a raise since she took the position 5 years ago. Everyone’s wages are essentially frozen. Our nonprofit has been on the struggle bus ever since it opened in the early 90s. Honestly, the only reason it stays open is because everyone who works here is grossly underpaid and has other means of financial support. Our director never got married or had kids and lives at home with her mother - so her living expenses are really low. I live with my parents so I don’t have to pay for rent or food and I’m on medicaid so my heath care costs are pretty cheap. The other women in the office all have husbands that are the primary breadwinners of the family, they can rely on their spouses financially. The woman that work at the front desk is on food stamps and in public housing. 
I would pick up a second job....but then how would I see my boyfriend?? If you are unaware, I’m in a long distance relationship. A big chunk of my week is spent traveling to see him and nurture our relationship. I work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and a lot of the time I’m spending Mondays and Fridays traveling because I have the time to travel. My boyfriend is working full time and it is much harder for him to travel. If I started working on Mondays and Fridays I think we could make it work, but wow it would be hard. 
I’m so sick of counting my pennies and stretching my dollars. I’m so sick of barely having any money to contribute to my savings after I pay for gas, parking, medicine, therapy, student loans, and other bills.
I’m looking for a new job right now closer to my boyfriend and I’m hoping something will materialize. I’m so done here. I feel like I’ve been sucked into a black hole of low wages and unsatisfactory work and there is no escape. This job feels like it has a chokehold on me. 
I want to quit my job and move...but I’m so worried about blowing through my savings account. I’ve worked SO FREAKING HARD to build up my savings. Over the past two years I’ve gone from around $1,500 to having $7,000 in my bank account. I feel really proud about that, but also really anxious. $7,000 isn’t a lot of money when you are a real adult with real responsibilities and the city I want to move to is known for being expensive. Even outside of the city, or in cheap shitty student apartments you still are looking at paying at least $850 for bedroom in an apartment with like four other people. And the $850 options are few and far between. Most apartments I’ve seen are closer to the $1,000 - $1,250 range. $1000 for rent, $200 for food, $200 student loan.....healthcare......other bills....it all adds up so fast. Even if I was being really, really careful with my money I think I would go through my savings in 3 or 4 months if I didn’t a source of income. I can’t help but think about how easy it would be to blow through that $7,000 in my savings and be left with nothing. 
AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHHGGHHHHH
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