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#(totally not me projecting. wanting my own mother to work on her insecurities so she could maybe love me one day lmao)
mikibagels · 1 year
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Hi! Your artwork is so gorgeous and it always makes me smile to see it on my dash :) do you have any tips for how you stay consistent with making art? I keep trying my hand at digital and always get frustrated and give up haha
Thank you for enjoying my work! Honestly, those 30-day drawing prompts are an excellent crutch if you're feeling uninspired. Motivation for me comes in many forms, like making my friends and followers happy, seeing my artstyle evolve everyday, and of course my uni projects too.
It's totally normal to feel frustrated with art. And honestly, the best thing you can do when you're overwhelmed is to walk away. But the important part is that you come back. Always come back and try again. The more time you leave between practices, the longer it'll take to build a habit. Even for me, not drawing for long periods of time makes it harder for me to draw what I want. I have to relearn how to draw every time I take too long a break.
My own mother recently started digital art and she's insecure about her work sometimes but the amazing part is that she still practices every night before bed! If I can do it, and my mama can do it, so can you!
If ever in doubt, always remember that you have a froggy cheering for you on Tumblr lol 💖
Good luck! You got this!
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warwickroyals · 1 year
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Okay, so earlier (technically it was yesterday for me) I asked where I should start reading your story. I then proceeded to not wait for an answer and start from the very beginning. I'm currently about to start page 19 in chronological order, and I am very much enjoying it.
Your writing is amazing, and so is your cinematography. Also, romance montages, my beloved. I am now fighting the urge to make one of my own sims. (Must fight the urge. So many spoilers.)
It's wild seeing how drastically Nick and Alex flip flop over time, especially having read your most recent posts. I'll be very curious to see this all play out.
Also, I love Phillip a lot, and I can't wait to see how everyone reacts to Jean being a part of his life. Cause she is amazing, and I love her. I understand both her and Phillip's sides at this point. Phillip has seen firsthand exactly what the press can do to people, so I totally get him not wanting to fuck Jean up like that, even if she thinks she wants it or thinks she can handle it. But on the other hand, he's very much pushing Jean away, which isn't fair to her. She wants to be a very serious and important part of his life, and he won't let her near the part of his life that has fucked him up the most.
Sorry for providing rambling commentary several months late, but I'm enjoying myself. I would really, really love to keep reading, but it's after 12:30 in the morning, I have an 8:30am class tomorrow (or rather, today), and I still have to take a shower. Was getting hooked on a sims story at 9pm a good idea? No. Did I do it anyways? Yes. Do I regret it? Currently no, but ask me again in the morning.
(Sorry, I'm rambly at the best of times, and even worse when tired.)
(Also, when I say "got hooked at 9pm", I did NOT read 18 pages in 3 hours. I only read like, 10-12 of them in 3 hours. :p)
Okay, I'm actually shutting the fuck up now!! I will hopefully finish tomorrow!!! I must be getting close now, seeing as the dates are only "two months ago".
OMG! No, never shut the fuck up! I love hearing all your thoughts, and it warms my heart whenever people engage with my writing like this. It's the best type of feedback. Thank you for all of the compliments and I'm glad that I've inspired someone in some way :)
Nick & Alex - I think they might just have the most complicated relationship out of all of my characters; they 100% are the most complex sibling relationship at least. I'm actually working on a scene between the two of them right now, and I think it's really amazing how jealousy is the driving factor for a lot of the hostility between the two brothers. Growing up, there has always been an underlying sense of bitterness and rivalry, but recently, especially after Margaux's birth, it's gotten out of control. Nicholas resents Alex because he thinks that he's irresponsible beyond reason, but he also envies Alex's position as second in line. It seems to him that Alex is constantly able to mess up without any meaningful consequences. Alex, on the other hand, thinks that Nick is too full of himself and that his being the heir has rotted his ability for empathy and understanding. Alex is also jealous of Nick being the older, more intelligent, brother. On top of the jealousy I think a lot of their current issues come from projecting their insecurities onto each other, especially when it comes to their relationships with their parents and women. They need to talk it out! Things will get better for them at some point but, as long as they refuse to communicate, it'll only get worse.
Phillip & Jean - I'm very glad people like Jean as much as I do because I wasn't sure about how she would be "received" if that makes any sense. Phillip in my opinion has always been paranoid, but a lot of his paranoia is validated by his life experiences like you said. As a child, he watched the media pressure destroy his mother's well-being; as an adult, it ruined his marriage. Even first-hand, a lot of his defining moments were him having to hide his mental illness and addiction struggles because of how exploitative the press was. So I understand how hard it would be for him to be publically in a relationship with Jean, someone who's so unconventional. But at the same time, like you said, it's not fair for Jean who also has abandonment issues of her own. I'm so glad that, in the time between Chapters 2.5 and 3 they've established a really strong relationship! Although they're not as prominent in chapter 3, there is a lot of conflict generated from their relationship and how both the press and family react to Jean as a permanent addition to Phillip's life. Their relationship is a really important element of the story.
Oh, boy, now I feel like I'm rambling, but I'm always down to ramble about my characters, so thank you for entertaining me for a little while. I can't wait to get to your other asks 😭
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heyitsjulissa · 2 years
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Have you ever wonder why parents are just so strict? What makes them like this?
Okay to start off I’m a 18 year old female and I graduated and about to leave for college. And I’m wondering now how are my parents gonna function? I have been cleaning since I was young and that’s not a problem. Kids need some kind of life lessons and I’m fine with it. But as I progressively got older, I realized I went from cleaning as a family and me cleaning just my room and bathroom to cleaning the whole house by myself. Which I don’t care anymore, I’m leaving and I feel like I’ll be happy. Another thing is schooling, to my dad it’s a big deal that I get good grades. Preferably straight A’s but close to it around 3.8 or so. Which is fine but my step mom makes jokes on why I didn’t get the awards like my other friends or the other students in my class. I just laughed it off but inside I was hurt. I’m not the one to cry in front of others. And I don’t like feeling vulnerable. It’s easier to bottle up my feelings and explode by Myself til I feel better. But the thing is I was trying so hard during this last year as a senior. My grades were totally fucked junior year. I was depressed and unmotivated to do anything. On top of that, teachers thought they can gives us hella work because we have all the time in the world. My dad didn’t understand why I was doing so bad. I couldn’t tell him that his constant nagging wasn’t helping either. And when he said I couldn’t go to my moms so I can go to hybrid school. I broke down and I told him I do better in person. I retain everything better. He said “I don’t care.” He doesn’t understand I didn’t like online nor like doing it. I obviously tried my best but teachers don’t answer questions and ignore me. I broke down and he doesn’t understand why. My school had their students do a physical examination by their doctors. Which I went with my Step mom and I filled out the survey which I got to the depression part. “ have you been sad?” “Having suicidal thoughts?” And the sad part is I have but my parents were worried but thought I would get over it. Because quarantine is the reason I’m depressed. But it’s not the reason. It’s my mom, she left me when I was young and refuses to be a mother and I didn’t even see her at graduation. I probably knew I was depressed since I was young but didn’t say anything to hurt my dad. I wish parents can understand how teens or people younger, older or anyone in general to see how strictness doesn’t give us any benefits. We have to hide, lie, and stay quiet because of their behavior. My dad said he knows what I’m going threw and I’m thinking he should understands. But my dad is the type to suck it up. Sometimes I want to get away from here and live my life the way I want. I put some much pressure on myself and stress that my parents don’t see how much blood and sweat I put into pleasing them. I please them so much I lost myself. I don’t know if I gain her back and it hurts knowing she might never come back. Hopefully she follows the trail back to me because at this moment in my life I need her. To answer the question at the top: Have you ever wonder why parents are just so strict? They think they have the best interests at heart. Probably their parents did the same and thought that was the new norm and todays standards that’s the opposite of how a parent should be. My dad used to watch my cousins which you would call brats and he said “one slap and they would never do it again”. He doesn’t understand but putting fear into your children they don’t want to talk to you nor You aren’t building healthy relationships and they realize this as they get older, how much they fucked up. One day, they are gonna get older and can’t take care of themselves and they ask their children to help. No one is gonna help them because of their selfish deeds. To be honest, Parents can be controlling because they are caught up with their own feelings and insecurities and project onto their kids. I think what’s makes them like this is their parents or they mentally need help. I kinda ranted and ran out of words sorry 😭😭
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drivingsideways · 3 years
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Melo is My Nature Review
Well, as usual, I’m late to the party! I picked up 2019′s Melo is my Nature/ Be Melodramatic with some trepidation since I was (am!) still smarting a bit from the disappointment that’s Hospital Playlist S2, and I wasn’t quite ready for another. 
I’m so glad I gave it a chance! While it isn’t a “perfect” series- in the nature of the world *sigh*- its combination of quirky, clever, self-aware humour and heartfelt performances won me over from the first episode. 
More thoughts under the cut (along with some spoilers)
I’m very fond of ensemble dramas that love their characters, and “Melo is my Nature” does that very well. Perhaps a little too well, to the point that you feel the writers letting themselves be more than a little indulgent during the middle stretch of the episodes. But I can’t complain too much, because yes, I know the feeling!  “Side characters” that refuse to stay in the lane and take over the narrative are also my favourites, as a writer and a viewer. I loved, loved, loved Lee Joo-bin as the flighty-but-amazingly-smart Lee So-min; that felt like such a delightful  clap-back against the prevailing sentiment that often goes against young, successful women and the ridiculous levels of expectations of them, in how they need to perform gender and  femininity and smartness. I loved that (like Emma! There’s a lot of Jane in this series!) the writers managed to make her likeable even though they never disregard her flaws or its consequences.
 Another performance/ character that I totally adored was Baek Ji-won as Jeong Hye-jeong, the industry maven who may be (?) a nod to Kim Eun-sook, I suppose! I was afraid at some point that they’d just trash her character, by making her a little too ridiculous in an unkind way, but I found some of the loveliest scenes involved her- like the one where she tells Jin-joo to do the work, but not be too successful. In the end, there was a love and fondness for her, a genuine empathy, that really was core to what made this show so successful. 
Shout out also to two of the weirdest characters I’ve watched, but thoroughly loved- Heo Joon-seok as Director Dong-gi & Lee Ji-min as Nutritionist (?) Da-mi. I absolutely adored that the only wedding in this series is between these two, and they do it in a completely predictably-unusual way. 
Re: the “main” characters, I loved all of them without exception, though some more than the others :) One of the things I love about the show is how real and present the three female leads feel; they feel like whole, entire people rather than caricatures of them, even when the show reaches almost unusual levels of quirky. I love that a through-line of the narrative is how important women’s labour is- to themselves. The work they do, which is acknowledged as a part of their identity rather than just something they do to pay bills (though of course there’s acknowledgement of that aspect too!),  their hunger to do it well and for it to matter- all of that is portrayed in a way that’s charming  but still taken very seriously. And the way you know that its taken seriously is in the things they focus on- how Oh Jin-joo struggles to write alone, and how Han-joo’s learning to be someone’s mentor while struggling with her own insecurities, and how lost Eun-jung feels, when work which was supposed to give her purpose fails her in a time of crisis, and how unmoored she feels without it. 
Re: the romance- I’m someone predisposed to dislike heterosexual romance, especially at the present moment, so it’s always with a great deal of hesitation that I start watching shows that I know have a large romance component. It’s always a bit of a coin toss for me whether the show will end up making me hate the romance or just about tolerate it. I rarely expect to *like * it.  So “Melo is my Nature” was a pleasant surprise!  This is  one of the few series where I felt the writers put in the work to sell the “main romance” of the show. You get to know the Oh Jin-joo and Beom-soo in sharply etched sketches before they move into the romance part (with a lot of tongue-in-cheek meta humour about the formulaic nature of tv romances). I genuinely felt that thrill of  “oh this could go platonic or romantic and I would like either” slowly ease into “oh my god these two are MEANT TO BE”, because the Romance is clearly in the all the ways they are NOT meant to be, but also, very, very definitely are. DELICIOUS. Just my cup of Jane Austen in a different context/ time.
Through most of the show though, my heart was divided between two characters- Jeon Yeo-bin’s stellar Eun-jung and Han Ji-eun’s pitch perfect Han-joo. Jeon Yeo-bin brought edginess, dark humour and a deep, almost- inconsolable grief to Eun-jung. Some of the stand out scenes of the entire series are hers: the moment where she watches herself on video talking to an imaginary person, and the moment she breaks down in front of the psych after talking about her mother. Watching this show, it really felt like- oh, she’s a star. Consider me sold on her for life (though, no, I will not watch Vincenzo unless there’s a Hong Cha-young supercut out there, in which case, please put it in my eyeballs now)
Han Ji-eun, imho, actually pulled off the toughest performance, because I think Han-joo’s strength of character is so often concealed by her “silliness” (in a similar vein to So-min’s), and that often makes her someone you’d overlook or not take seriously.  But god, she broke my heart, from the scene in the first episode where she’s sitting alone at a table after a rough day and watching her horrible ex live his best life to the hilarious and excruciating  “Oppa” scene, to the one where her kid is quite unconsciously cruel to her in the way kids can be. I was disappointed in the way they dropped the “reveal” about whom she’s dating in the last episode- not that I wanted her to be in an romance with Jae-hoon, god, NO- but it felt quite clunky.  This is one of the two complaints I have with the show. 
The second one is that starting from the middle, episodes began to noticeably feel like scenes/ sketches spliced together. Each scene is, within itself, perfectly written and performed, but the seams between the stories began to show. I felt one of the main reasons was that Eun-jung’s trauma tonally felt like it belonged in another show, but instead it had to get stitched into the mostly happy/ frothy storylines of the other characters. Sure, we had Hae-joon and his girlfriend’s terrible relationship, but the show had an easier time integrating that by way of Han-joo.
That said, I love how clever this show is! I love that it loves its own cleverness and can’t resist the urge to show it off- from all the meta references, in-universe jokes, and oh, that entire episode devoted to farting, complete with a song about it,  which I think maybe my fave episode of the series. A great look at the place of performance in intimate relationships (and how the women bear the burden of it more than the men), but coming at it from a place of compassion and humour rather than anger. Love that choice, for the show and us! 
I think @rain-hat mentioned in a comment here or twitter that Melo feels like a part of a triangle of shows along with Run On and Search : WWW.  I’m inclined to swap out Run On for Rookie Historian, or huh, maybe change the triangle for a quadrangle? Rookie Historian dares to imagine a past where our protagonist is (mostly) unshackled by the patriarchy and in the “modern” ending to its main heterosexual romance, reminds us that people have always found ways to find joy and thrive outside the rigid bounds of society. Search: WWW goes about it in the opposite direction- placing us in a present/future where the patriarchy doesn’t  and hasn’t ever mattered. Melo, I think, doesn’t quite do that, but in common with both these shows, it refuses to focus on the trauma of living under such structural violence, and instead talks about how we all (irrespective of gender) can find a way to remain unbroken by it. And while both Search:WWW and Melo do well at queer-platonic relationships as an alternate to the heterosexual project, it’s Run On, I think, which goes furthest there- firstly because though ostensibly structured around a het romance, that romance turns out to be falling in love with yourself/ loving yourself;  secondly because it’s most explicitly queer in the choices that the characters make and the lives that they choose for themselves- Min-joo & May are each others darlings and will be for life, Yeong-hwa and Ki Seon-gyeom are allowed a tenderness in their friendship that feels like an explicit repudiation of toxic masculinity, and of course, you have May being asexual, but not aromantic, and Goh Ye-jun’s whole arc of accepting himself as a gay man, and finding acceptance of that identity from others. 
Anyway! tl;dr would recommend (and have recommended!) Melo is my Nature to anyone fond of women, clever story telling and also ridiculously happy songs.
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Float Like A Butterfly... Chapter 5: So Last Season
Summary: Now that Adrien is no longer Chat Noir he doesn't have to get hit all the time. Unfortunately, his luck doesn't seem to have gotten the memo... Or has it?
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"So, how're you holding up?"
"Please, Adrien, it's my mother! I'm positively ecstatic!"
"Exactly. It's your mother."
Chloe looked down for a second before her eyes snapped back up, any doubts she had hidden in an instant. "She's finally coming back! I'll finally be able to show her what she's been missing." Chloe tossed her ponytail back to emphasize the unspoken Me. "Now, I've gotta go. Sabrina insisted we do an 'emotional support routine' or whatever beforehand. Ciao!"
Sighing, Adrien stared at his phone for a moment before putting it down. He knew Chloe was grateful for Sabrina's help but it was still a struggle getting her to admit it.
Or getting her to admit how much Audrey had hurt her.
It was one thing to travel halfway around the world for your career and leave your daughter behind. It was something else entirely to completely ignore her. In all the years since Audrey left Chloe hadn't received a single birthday gift, phone call or text message. Adrien would know. Chloe would've bragged about it endlessly if her mother had taken so much as two seconds to acknowledged her existence-
Adrien's foot jerked, striking the vanity table and making the connected mirror tremble. Heart suddenly pounding against his chest as tension built up in his forehead. Distressed expression reflecting back at him.
Breathe, Adrien. Breathe.
Slowly, he inhaled.
Then exhaled.
Again.
Good.
He was okay.
Adrien was okay.
Guilt pricked like a thorn for thinking of his own problems when Chloe needed him. Adrien crushed it with his anger and annoyance but it was still there. Like a splinter that wouldn't come out.
I hate you.
Swiping out of the video chat Adrien tapped on Nino's number. It rang... and rang... and rang...
He's annoyed with me. I did something wrong again and Nino doesn't want to-
Adrien smacked both sides of his face. No, dummy! Nino's just busy or something. Stop that!
It wasn't every day a teenage DJ provided the music for Paris Fashion Week, after all. Nino had to make sure all his equipment was working properly.
The door to his dressing room burst open.
"Adrien, your friend Mlle. Dupain-Cheng will be bringing the last article of the new Gabriel line," Nathalie announced. "Your father expects everything to be perfect for Audrey Bourgeois."
"Doesn't he always?" Adrien deadpanned.
Nathalie stared at his watery eyes before typing something into her tablet. "Your performance on catwalks only has a 99% success rate. He expects you'll do better."
Father thinks you're a failure just like everyone else. He-
Shut up! Adrien felt something heavy settle in his chest.
One of the makeup artists came rushing in and Nathalie gestured her towards Adrien. "Touch up his eyes," she instructed and then left.
Jaw clenching, Adrien sat perfectly still as the makeup artist did her job. He was never entirely sure what the staff thought about him. 'Professional' was a word that was tossed around a lot. That used to fill him with a little pride... Before all of this.
The last person to suggest that a thirteen year old mourning his mother wasn't 'professional' so much as he was 'depressed' had never come back to work... Oh. Adrien had forgotten about that.
Finishing quickly, the makeup artist left too. Leaving Adrien with his thoughts. He didn't want to be with his thoughts at the moment. They were distracting and Nathalie had not been subtle.
I hate-
His phone vibrated as it received someone's text.
Ni-Non: hey dude!
Ni-Non: it's crazy over here man
Ni-Non: break a leg! ;)
Adrien smiled as his unpleasant mood faded to the back of his mind... And if he saw similarities between his family and Chloe's, well, that's why he could empathize with her.
Adrien: That's theater but I guess there's not much difference.
Adrien: Thanks. ^_^
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There was a knock at his door. Adrien stopped fidgeting in the awkward suit to go answer it.
"Hello, Marinette." Adrien smiled in greeting.
"Oh, uh, hello!" Marinette gave a small wave as she stepped up the short stairs and-
Adrien braced himself with one foot while his hands went to her shoulders. Steadying Marinette as she quickly removed her weight from him.
"Oh! Uh, sorry." Marinette looked away in embarrassment at having tripped into him.
"... No worries!" Adrien smiled as he shook his head. Marinette seemed... subdued. Reaching down to pick up the hat that had fallen. "Oh, no." The artificial feather Marinette made for his allergies had come loose. "I hope it's not too hard to fix it."
Marinette looked down. "Uh, y'know, it doesn't really matter. This hat is a complete failure anyway."
"What? No, it's not!" Adrien rose to his feet quickly in shock. "Why would you say that?"
"Because... the queen of fashion, Audrey Bourgeois, saw it and hated it!" Marinette's hands covered her face, voice breaking. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I really messed up. I'm a total no talent!" Her arms wrapped around herself in a hug. "Please, don't put it on," she pleaded.
Adrien's heart went out to Marinette as she laid her insecurities bare. "Marinette, everything's going to be fine." He searched for the proper spot to reattach the feather,  fiddling with it as Adrien reassured her. "Your hat looks great. I think it's awesome and so does... my father." Adrien cleared his throat as he managed to fix her hat. "Otherwise he wouldn't have picked it for me. Look!"
Putting Marinette's hat on Adrien walked across the dressing room like he was already performing. Striking a few poses to ease Marinette's anxiety. "See?"
It seemed to work as Marinette gave a small smile. "You got that catwalk down," she complimented.
Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. "Really? Thank you."
"Ah-hem," Nathalie cleared her throat. "We have to go." Without waiting for Marinette she turned on her heel and started walking towards the viewing area.
Adrien rolled his eyes but smiled at Marinette's back as she hurried to catch up. Turning back to look at himself in the mirror Adrien scanned his outfit. The suit may have been generic and a few seams too close to last year's entry but Marinette's hat was fire.
"Okay!" Adrien was gonna go out there and make sure they recognized Marinette's talent!
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Holding Marinette's hat to his chest Adrien stuck his head out in a decidedly 'unprofessional' manner. Spotting Marinette's family and a bunch of his friends in the first row. Adrien's blond head caught Nino's eye from across the catwalk and he gave him a thumbs up.
Adrien waved as he ducked back behind the corner before the photographers could take any pictures of the Agreste heir acting like a kid.
You got this, Adrien. Nino's DJ-ing, your classmates came -even though most of them don't care about fashion- with any luck Alix and Kim will tease you about it for the next month.
That would give Adrien the opportunity to dish out a bunch of jokes he never got the chance to use!
The music started; that was his cue.
You got this!
Adrien posed on the runway. Camera flashes already starting. Strutting down the catwalk Adrien smirked at Marinette. See? Stopping at the platform's end he posed in various angles for the photographers. Nino seemed to be enjoying himself too and that made Adrien's smile come much more naturally.
A small eruption boomed behind him and Adrien turned to see Hawkmoth's latest fashion disaster. Gasping, as his heart started hammering in his chest.
"A fashion show without the Queen of Style!? Glitter-ally unacceptable!" The akuma villain announced. "Where's that ungrateful Gabriel Agreste. I demand that he kneels before me!"
Ugh, what has he done now?
"My father isn't here," Adrien snapped in annoyance. Hearing people running for the exits.
"Well, then. If fashion disaster daddy isn't here I'll just have to settle for Agreste Junior! You're fired!"
Adrien's eyes widened as he stepped back. Golden glitter exploding everywhere as his body became numb and his senses dark-
-Glowing ladybugs swirled around him as Adrien had the disorienting feeling of laying  down when he could've sworn he'd been standing. Glancing around, Adrien realized he was now at the Eiffel Tower.
"Adrik- Adrien!" Chloe tackled him as he stood, throwing her arms around him. "I was so scared!"
Adrien blinked in surprise as Chloe set her head on his shoulder. Not letting him go... Adrien smiled as he hugged her back. Enjoying this genuine display of affection.
"Pound it!"
Head snapping towards the sound Adrien saw another Black Cat, this one a girl with long, reddish hair, fist bump Ladybug. They grinned at each other in post battle relief.
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
A chill to rival Frozer's ice covered Adrien from head to toe. It was one thing to see Ladybug working with a different Black Cat on the news. Quite another to have his replacement. Three. Frickin. Meters. In front of him!
Chloe didn't notice... Or rather Adrien didn't notice when she'd let go to help her mother. Who tried to fire her own daughter as thanks.
Adrien jerked his eyes away from the superhero duo-
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
-Away from the Miraculous holders and forced himself to listen to whatever the Bourgeois were saying. Ears ringing as Ladybug and the Black Cat talked about something behind him...
"Oh, mom. If only you knew what a great team we made!" Chloe trailed after her mother as they walked down the tower's stairs; attempting to capture her attention. "We fired a bunch of incompetents. It was awesome. We should really spend more time together! What if I went back to New York with you?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Casserole- Eh, Chloe!" Audrey dismissed. "First I have to get back to Gabriel Agreste's fashion show. And they better..."
Adrien's eyes narrowed as he looked down from the railing, his grip on it tightening. Heat from a growing indignation melting the ice he felt. What did she just call Chloe?
"Adrien Agreste, right? I can give you a lift back if you want."
His tensed body jerked in surprise as Adrien realized Ladybug was standing right behind him. Throat and chest constricting as his thoughts whirled. Spots darkened his vision as he felt lightheaded. Adrien's knuckles becoming white, the metal railing digging into his skin. A single thought rose above the ringing in his ears.
I don't wanna talk to her.
Giving his best model smile, Adrien schooled his features. "Ah, thanks but-" he pointed down, "-I should really check on them."
"O-oh! Of course!"
Ladybug's face was out of focus but Adrien could still feel the melancholy in her voice.
Powering past his queasy stomach Adrien made his way to the stairs. The sound of Ladybug's yo-yo whirring reached his ears; signaling her departure. Adrien took a shuddering gasp as he leaned against a metal pillar for support. Body suddenly limp.
Breath accelerating Adrien tried to calm himself. Why was he up here? Had- Had Audrey's blast mind controlled him? Again!? He couldn't breathe.
Adrien sank to his knees as he felt his skin crawl at the idea of that- that- asshole reaching into his mind and taking away his free will. He hated it! He HATED it!
Gasping as his rage broke him out of the panic, Adrien steadied his breathing... He wanted- no, needed to know what happened... Which meant getting up and moving forward... Forcing himself to his feet Adrien wiped the sweat from his brow and followed the others down.
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"Remind me to tell your father to fire the person in charge of the Eiffel Tower elevators..." Audrie panted. "This is... unacceptable... utterly unacceptable!"
"Of course, mom. Oh!" Chloe glanced down to see what she'd stumbled on.
Adrien looked up as he fanned himself with Marinette's hat.
And dropped it.
He stared open mouthed at the small, black, octagonal box in Chloe's hands. Heartbeat leaping into his throat.
What the hell is THAT doing here!?
"Ooh! What's this?" Chloe turned the box around in her hands but didn't open it.
Adrien suddenly forgot his exhaustion and rushed to her side. The lie coming easily to his lips. "Oh, I recognize that! They sell them at antique shops."
"Ew, it's old! Get it away from me!" Chloe practically hurled it at Adrien.
Catching it easily. A thrill ran up Adrien's arms and down his spine as the box made contact with his skin. The hairs at the back of his neck standing on end.
Chloe dusted her hands and kept walking. Glancing nervously at her mother. Hoping Audrey hadn't seen her with something so outdated.
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! The voice in his head said.
Shut up, Adrien told it as he stared at the unknown Miraculous in his hand. Heartbeat hammering in his chest. But it wasn't from fear. No, it was... anticipation.
The corners of Adrien's lips curled upwards.
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Notes: Oh, would you look at that. I'm back! It only took... eight months!
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sunbaekery · 3 years
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Coming Soon: Kiss and Tell
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I’m super excited to introduce my newest Special — Kiss and Tell. It’s a project I’ve been thinking about for a while now and while I’ve only been writing drabbles or short oneshots, I really wanted to try my hand at writing longer stories. I don’t know how long each story will be and I don’t know how long this project will take, but I hope that you’ll support me on my writing journey.
These stories will be written in a 3rd person limited (members thoughts) with fem ocs.
Teaser(total): 0.8k
For centuries, kisses have been a way to express emotions, and whether it's a passionate liplock between lovers or a loving kiss from parent to child, each kiss has a story behind it. Kiss and Tell follows the lives of 7 young men, all at different stages of life, and the story behind their kiss.
Jisung's Story
Jisung is your standard awkward high school student: he plays video games till 2 a.m., cleans his room only when his mother nags him for the hundredth time, and struggles to form coherent sentences in front of the girl he's been crushing on: Kim Yeri. With the annual summer fair coming up, The Carnival, and college looming on the horizon, he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and to his surprise, she agreed. This should be it: he's finally getting his chance at the sappy high school romance he's been waiting for, so then why can't he stop thinking about the little mole on the lower right corner of his best friend's lips
Item: Bites, Desert
Allergen Warnings: Profanity, Crude Humor, etc.
Expected Release: In August
Haechan's Story
Haechan has always been the funny guy, always putting a smile on other people's faces and making them feel as if they've known each other for years, even if they've just met for a few minutes. So when he finally meets the girl with impeccable timing for jokes that almost rivals his… almost, you can bet he married her as soon as he could. But life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it, and Haechan's idyllic life is shattered in an instant.
Item: Bites, Namericano
Allergen Warnings: Major Character Death, Pregnancy, Grief, etc.
Mark's Story
Mark is twenty-two years old, a recent college graduate, young, capable, and ready to face the world. Sure, he earned a degree in Musical Composition, which, in hindsight, may not be the safest career choice. Still, it was a crucial part of him, and with a support system like his, his loving parents, sympathetic brother, and an angel of a girlfriend, who wouldn't pursue it. But Mark wasn't prepared for the world to come to him; he is offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, the only problem being that it is halfway across the globe — truly putting the distance in long distance. Mark must decide whether his love or his dream is more important to him.
Item: Bites, Namericano
Allergen Warnings: Not Applicable for now
Renjun's Story
Renjun is eleven years old... okay, ten and a half, and he's about to start his last year of elementary school. He's a big kid now, but he doesn't feel like it; in fact, he misses his parents, who are constantly shooing him away with excuses about working hard to achieve a pormoshin... promortion... or something like that. He is tired and irritable, and all he wants to do is curl up into a small ball and hide from the world, which he does most of the time because students and teachers prefer to ignore him rather than deal with his tantrums. With the start of a new school year comes a new teacher, one who doesn't seem to take no for an answer. Will Renjun finally open up, or will she, like everyone else, lose interest in him?
Item: Bites, Mocha
Allergen Warnings: Anxiety, Bullying, Negligence
Jaemin's Story
If someone had told seventeen-year-old Jaemin that at age twenty-seven, he would be living in a much too small apartment, having an affair with his much older, married neighbor, who always promised to leave her husband for him, but never did, and still hadn't pursued his photography dream because he was too much of coward and still cared about what people thought of him, he would have punched that person in the face, and obnoxiously yell very choice words. And yet here he was, exactly that; there was no need to beat around the bush, Na Jaemin was a complete loser.
Item: Bites, Mocha
Allergen Warnings: Age-Gap, Suggestive Scenes, Cheating, Insecurity, etc
Chenle's Story
Chenle is a "late bloomer." Not professionally, of course, graduating from the country's top business school at the age of 18, starting and successfully building a fortune 500 company by the age of 25, and now owning a thriving business empire at the age of 40, Chenle was undoubtedly fortunate in that aspect of his life, his romantic life, however, not so much. So at the age of 40, Chenle decided to try his hand at online dating, and after some questionable, read disastrous dates, he's finally met a serious-relationship worthy woman and Chenle swears he can smell love in the air. Little did Chenle know that trouble was on its way, in the form of the woman's 15-year-old teenage daughter, who was determined to put an end to Chenle's relationship.
Item: Bites, Namericano
Allergen Warnings: Break down, Divorce, Absent Parent, etc.
Jeno's Story
Jeno has two loves: singing and partying, a combination that is destined for disaster. After experimenting at a party, Jeno's behavior reaches a new low jeopardizing not only his singing career but also his relationship with his junior singer that he may or may not be falling in love with.
Item: Namericano, Bites
Allergen Warnings: Age-Gap, Drugs, Partying, Reckless Behavior, Hallucinations, Violence (etc.)
Guide to Sun Baekary Diction
Bites = Slice of Life
Namericano = Angst
Mocha = Feel-Good/Motivational
Desert = Fluff
Allergen Warning = Trigger Warning
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kissinginkitchens · 3 years
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You Bring Me Home—Chapter Ten: When it Rains
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a/n: hi besties!! This one is... tough I’m ngl to y’all. It is the second to the last chapter which is so wild to think about, but alas all good things must come to an end. Hopefully you don’t hate me too much by the end of it but feel free to vent in my inbox :))) much love, Mel <3
Pairing: Hawai’i!Harry x Original Character (Halani <3)
Warnings: swearing, some suggestive humor, ANGST (!!)
Word Count: 7.4 k
catch up on parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine
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“Is that my shirt?”
“No,”
Alani squints at the cartoon bee printed on Harry’s white t-shirt and crosses her arms in disbelief. 
“Yes it is! I’ve been looking for it everywhere,”
“Don’t worry, you can have it back soon,” he admits, crawling back into his bed with an apologetic kiss to her pouting lips. “Doesn’t smell like you anymore,”
“Thief,”
Harry scoffs and props himself up on an elbow. “Don’t act like my Spice World jumper isn’t hanging at the foot of your bed right now,”
“You left it there,” Alani defends. “I was merely being kind and looking after said hoodie because it was abandoned by its owner,”
“Oh yeah and you’ve fought real hard to reunite us,”
“Can we get back to the main issue at hand? Which is that I’m kinda pissed off that you look better in that shirt than I do.”
Harry chuckles to himself and presses an affectionate kiss to her temple. “You’re too kind.”
Alani rests her cheek against his chest and listens to the rain pattering harshly against the window, admiring the flashes of lightning that illuminate the dimly lit room. Harry had convinced her to stay the night, worried about her driving home alone in the storm, and he was met with very little resistance. Secretly, he thanks the rain gods for allowing him another night to hold her close. 
********
“H, you gotta tell her,” Jeff had warned the previous night. “I already pushed the flight back a week—”
“I know,” Harry huffed. “I just need a little more time.”
Jeff sighed, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his hands. “You have until this weekend when we go away with the girls. One week in Maui, and then it’s back home. I’m sorry.”
********
Harry’s stomach turns remembering the conversation, but he decides to push all the nagging thoughts to the back of his mind and focus on the present. 
“You all packed?” he asks, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. 
Alani drapes her leg over his hip and nods. “Been packed since last week.”
She had been ecstatic the day after Mila and Chad’s wedding when Harry invited her to tag along on the couple’s trip with Jeff, Tom, and their significant others. His eagerness to include her in his friend group was not only reassuring, but exciting. It felt like their lives were coming together, even more so after she had introduced him to her parents. They, of course, had adored him and quickly given their seal of approval. While Alani knew that it was ultimately her choice, it still felt good to have support from the most important people in her life, and she hoped to win his friends over just as easily. Harry, on the other hand, had no doubts that she would fit right into his chosen family. Her name had been cautiously dropped during a weekly FaceTime call with his mother and sister, and he was overjoyed when they enthusiastically grilled him for details. 
What Harry was less sure of, however, was how Alani would react upon hearing that his vacation was up and that he would be headed back to L.A. in a week’s time. It was still early in their relationship and an indeterminate break seemed less than ideal. He had tried to convince both Jeff and the label that he could finish the album in Hawaii, but the same couldn’t be said for Jeff Bhasker, Mitch, Tom, and his new bassist, Adam, who all had families waiting for them back on the mainland. It was too risky personally and financially, so Harry reluctantly negotiated one last week to persuade Alani that a long-distance relationship wouldn’t be a death sentence. 
“What d’you wanna watch?” he asks, sitting up against the headboard to turn on the T.V. 
Alani sighs and settles deeper into his side. “When Harry Met Sally,”
“But it’s not Christmas or New Year’s,”
“So?”
“So,” Harry explains. “We have to wait ‘til the holidays, wouldn’t be right otherwise,”
Alani scoffs and peers up at him with a judgemental look. “So I guess Serendipity is also out of the question?”
“We’ll have all Christmas to get through that list, darlin’,”
Her stomach flips at his suggestion of their future holiday plans. Privately, she had wondered about such things, as well, including what gifts she might get him or where they would spend the holidays. Though still months away, it suddenly felt within reach. 
“Fine,” Alani softens. “The Notebook,”
“And let you drool over what’s-his-face?” Harry pokes. “No fuckin’ way,”
Alani pinches his side and sits up. “Would you stop being insecure about that? I’ve already told you I was just kidding that time,”
“Yeah well, it still stings,”
“Why don’t you tell me your celebrity crush? You know, so I can be totally fine about it because it doesn’t mean anything,”
Harry shrugs, the corners of his lips turning into a playful smirk. “Don’t have one,”
“Liar,”
“M’serious,”
“Why, because you’ve already dated them?”
“Hey,” Harry pouts. “That was a bit snippy,”
Alani’s muscles tighten. She hadn’t realized that his dating history was a sore spot, but she takes a deep breath and plants a sweet kiss to his jaw as an offering of peace. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,”
“S’alright. Truce?”
“Deal,”
“Jennifer Aniston,”
“Huh?”
“My celebrity crush,” Harry explains shyly. “When I was younger,”
Alani giggles lightly. “I see. Good taste, she’s hot,”
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna leave me for her too,”
“I just might,”
“Can’t say that I blame you,”
“Look I know this is a cute little bit we do,” Alani sits up, her gaze dead-set on Harry’s to communicate the seriousness behind her words. “But I just want you to know that I feel so lucky to be with you. I’m not going anywhere any time soon,”
Harry swallows harshly. It was everything he’d ever wanted to hear and it kills him that he can’t return the sentiment with full honesty. A little less than a week is all he has to prove that even though he physically has to go, his heart will remain wherever Alani is. “Me either,”
Another round of thunder booms outside and the lights fizzle out, leaving the room completely dark save for the intermittent flashes of lightning that gently illuminate the room. 
“So much for watching a movie, huh?” Alani sighs. 
“I think I know some other ways we can keep ourselves entertained.”
********
Harry sets a steaming cup of tea down onto the table in front of Alani and she looks up from her tube of nail polish curiously. Harry flashes a dimpled grin in her direction and whistles a familiar tune, one that she had heard in the studio when he was busy doing his Bob Dylan impression. 
“What’re you singing?”
“Hm?”
“The song,” she clarifies. “You were singing it the other day, what is it?”
Harry serves her plate of hash browns and shrugs. “Dunno, just a little tune ‘ve been workin’ on,”
“It’s nice,”
“Thanks, sweets,” he offers, setting her food down and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 
“Hey Alani,” Jeff interrupts, stepping into the kitchen with his cellphone pressed to his shoulder.
“Glenne wants to know if you’re okay with her setting up a spa thing for you guys,”
"Yeah, definitely,” Alani perks up. 
“Cool, thanks.”
“Look at you,” Harry teases, taking a bite of his toast coated in strawberry jam. “Minglin’ with the girls,”
“They’re not even here yet,” 
He scans over her appearance and his brows furrow, hit with the sudden realization that she’s dressed in formal attire. 
“What’s with the fancy outfit”
“I have a meeting, remember?”
“With?”
Alani blows on her freshly painted nails and holds up her other hand for Harry to do the same. 
“My senior advisor. We’re going over my research project,”
Harry’s brows raise. “Smarty-pants,”
Alani had scheduled her meeting with Dr. Hudson months ago and had, truthfully, forgotten all about it until she had received a courtesy email the day prior. She had been working on her proposal in the spare minutes she had away from Harry, which were few and far between, but she knew the initial meeting would be much more casual. Alani checks the time on her phone and stands quickly when she realizes that she is supposed to meet Dr. Hudson in  less than thirty-minutes. 
“Gotta go,” she offers, shoveling potatoes into her mouth and grabbing her bag. 
Harry ceases blowing on her nails and kisses the back of her hand before sticking out his lips for a kiss of his own. “Good luck, darlin’. Meet me at the studio after?”
“Sure thing, sunshine. See you later.”
********
“How did the Joni Mitchell piece go? You never told me,” Dr. Hudson questions, taking a sip of her coffee. 
Alani offers a shy smile and toys with the hem of her skirt. “A flop,”
“Just one more closer to the winner,”
“Yeah,” Alani sighs, stirring her smoothie. “Maybe it’s time to move on from that,”
The professor shoots her a disapproving look and sets her drink down. “Alani—”
“I just think maybe there’s more realistic—”
“You are not giving up,” Dr. Hudson reassures her. “You’ve come too far and you’re a terrific writer. One of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of teaching. These things take time,”
Alani nods gently, her lips pursed in a tight smile. “Thank you, that really means a lot,”
“What are you working on right now?”
Absolutely nothing, Alani thinks, but then she remembers the half-written article about Harry sitting in her files. 
“A short piece about… a local musician,”
Dr. Hudson’s brows raise, intrigued, and she nods. “That sounds interesting. Definitely more personal,”
You have no idea. “Thanks. I mean, it’s not really anything—”
“I’d love to read it when you’re finished,” the professor continues. “What’s the scope?”
Alani thinks, trying not to give too much incriminating detail about her subject or their relationship. 
“Well,” she starts, hesitant. “He’s writing new music and working on his first album. I guess I kind of want to follow his journey and redefinition of success in the music industry,”
Dr. Hudson hums. “I love it. Send me a draft.”
Alani swallows and takes a minute to consider the offer. Surely there couldn’t be anything wrong about sharing her work privately with her advisor. She had been so excited about the potential of the article when it was first started, but it had since been neglected like so many of her other rejected pieces. Starting again seemed exciting, and she knew that Harry would be pleased to play such an important role in making her dreams come true. That had, after all, been the initial terms of their agreement. 
“Okay,” Alani accepts. “I will.”
********
Harry draws out the last note and Mitch lets the chord ring between them for a moment. 
“I think that’s the one,”
“Yeah, I liked that progression better,”
“Hope you got that, Bhasker,” Mitch calls to Jeff in the sound booth, who gives a thumbs up in response. 
Harry continues humming, his head still bobbing to the tune, when he hears the studio door creak unpleasantly. His eyes shoot up to find Alani wincing and timidly stepping into the room. 
“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,”
He softens and beckons her over. “Never an interruption, sweets,”
Alani slots herself between his legs and wraps her arms around his neck, giving a gentle peck to the tip of his nose before pressing their lips together.
“How’s the weather?”
“Just got a lot sunnier,”
“Meeting go well?”
She nods and twists a lock of his chestnut hair between her fingers. “Yeah, actually,”
“Then we should celebrate!” Harry perks up, peppering a kiss to her cheek. “Dinner, wine, movie, the whole shebang,”
Alani frowns, thinking back to the article she promised Dr. Hudson. “Hmmm, raincheck?”
Her boyfriend deflates. “You’re ditching me?”
“Just for one night,” she explains, pulling him closer. “I wanna finish up some school stuff before our trip. Otherwise I won’t be able to give you my full attention,”
Harry pouts, but he nods understandingly. “‘Kay,”
“I’m sorry, sunshine. I’ll miss you tons,”
“Ditto, sweets,”
Alani presses her forehead against his and her fingertips wander through the growing curls at the nape of his neck. “Please don’t be upset,”
Harry smiles warmly and smoothes his hands up and down her back. “Never, m’love. Could never be upset with you,”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” he nods, planting a sweet kiss to her lips. “Hey, I wanna play you somethin’,” 
Alani grins and pulls back a bit to read his expression. “Let’s hear it,”
Harry grabs the guitar next to him and slings it over his shoulder before adjusting the capo. The song starts sweet and gentle, his voice light to match the tune. 
And oh we started 
Two hearts in one home 
It’s hard when we argue 
We’re both stubborn I know, but oh
Sweet creature, sweet creature
Wherever I go, you bring me home 
Sweet creature, sweet creature
When I run out of road, you bring me home 
Alani watches in awe as he pours so much emotion behind every word, his vocals effortlessly powerful and rich. She claps when the song finishes and leans in for a kiss. 
“I love it,”
“S’not finished yet,” Harry shrugs, still fiddling with the strings. “Just the chorus right now,”
“Will you teach it to me?”
His brows raise in surprise. “You play?”
“No,” Alani admits. “But I have a feeling you’re a good teacher,”
“Well, let’s see what you got,”
Alani turns and Harry props the guitar in her lap, his arms wrapping around her as he guides her into the right position. His left hand demonstrates the beginning chord and she replaces his fingers on the fretboard to try for herself. She strums and the beginning note resonates in near-perfect pitch. 
“Hey,” Harry beams. “You’re a regular Hendrix,”
He continues positioning her fingers over the right spaces and letting her strum, humming the lyrics softly into the shell of her ear. 
“We don’t argue that much,” Alani defends playfully. 
Harry chuckles and kisses her temple. “Maybe not, but we’re really good at makin’ up.”
“Easy, Styles.”
********
Harry: Hungry?
Alani peels her eyes away from the computer screen and reads the message lighting up her phone. 
Alani: Not really
Harry: …
Harry: oh 
She laughs and pads over to the window. Sure enough, Harry holds up two bags and flashes a cheesy grin down below. 
“Need a study break?”
“I’ll meet you at the door.”
Harry makes himself comfortable in the middle of her bed and unpacks the bags. 
“I’ve got a California and a spicy tuna for my favorite girl,” he announces. “With a side of eel sauce,”
“And the world's best boyfriend goes to Mr. Harry Styles,” Alani grins, taking a seat next to him. 
He smirks and pulls out his own order of miso soup and sushi. “How’s the homework comin’ along?”
“Not too shabby,”
“Glad to hear it,”
“Hey, what time do I meet you at the airport tomorrow?” she asks, dipping her roll in the sauce. 
Harry freezes and turns to her with confusion written all over his face. “I’m sorry, did my girlfriend just insinuate that we’re not leaving for the airport together?”
“I really need to finish this,” Alani explains. “It’s almost there,” 
“Two nights?” he complains. 
Alani nudges him with her shoulder and shakes her head. “We’re gonna be spending an entire week together, non-stop. You’re gonna get sick of me,”
“Never,” Harry rebuts. “Not possible,”
“Just one more night,” Alani bargains. “Then I’m all yours, no interruptions.”
He nods and takes a sip of his soup. “Alright, deal.”
You have to tell her, Jeff’s voice rings in his mind. 
********
The airline stewardess ushers Harry and Alani to their seats while Scott and Miles settle down a few rows behind. She didn’t know exactly what to expect from first-class, but suddenly the perks of having a famous boyfriend increased tenfold by the sight of their luxurious accommodations.
“Wait, what are you doing?” Alani asks while Harry hovers over his chair. 
“Sitting, or I was about to,”
“And you’re not even gonna offer rock-paper-scissors for the window seat?”
Harry shakes his head with an amused chuckle. “No because I already know that you’re gonna get up to pee every five minutes,”
“Not true,”
“It is too true and it’s exactly why we can’t cuddle while we fall asleep,”
“Or maybe the reason is because I’m claustrophobic and I just don’t wanna hurt your feelings,”
Harry frowns. “Really?”
“No,” Alani admits, taking the aisle seat. “I just said that so you’d give me the window,”
“Get up, we’re switching,”
“Thank you, sunshine! You’re the best,”
Harry slumps into his new chair and crosses his arms. “Forty-five minutes and we’re already fighting like an old married couple,”
“Oh really?” Alani smirks. “Is that what old married couples argue about? Who gets the window seat?”
“And leaving the toilet seat up, going antique shopping—” 
“—What old married couples have you been hanging out with—?”
“—Picking up the kids from school,”
Alani presses a kiss to his shoulder and rests her head in the crook of his neck. Her eyelids are still heavy from staying up the night before, but her article was completely finished and sent off to Dr. Hudson just like she’d promised. Now, she could enjoy her vacation free of any worry or obligation, completely focused on the perfect boy still rambling next to her. 
“But, obviously I mean that doesn’t count, right?” Harry asks, craning his neck and smiling softly when he sees that his girlfriend has already dozed off. He kisses the top of her head gently and lets his own eyes flutter close with a deep, contented breath. 
********
“And then I’ll have to repaint it, but I haven’t decided on a color yet,” Glenne explains to Alani as they stroll through the airport. 
Alani hums. “It was your grandmother’s?” 
“Well, it was somebody’s grandmother’s. We picked it up at this little antique shop in Santa Monica.”
Jeff escorts Glenne into the shuttle car while Harry and Alani share a knowing look and stifle their laughter. They shuffle into the back seats as Tom and his wife, Jenny, claim the middle row. 
“So you’re a journalist?” Jenny asks, turning in her seat eagerly to face Alani. 
“Not quite,” she explains with a polite smile. “Still a student, but hopefully someday,”
Jenny nods and twirls the ring around her finger. “Sounds exciting. Maybe you can hitch a ride on tour with this one and do some writing there.”
“Yeah,” Alani smiles, settling further into Harry’s side. “Maybe.”
The idea of traveling the world with Harry and being a part of the excitement of touring the album was something she had considered briefly, but hadn’t allowed herself to fully indulge until this moment. It was already thrilling to see him polish the songs he had begun during his trip, but she could only imagine how much more special it would be to see him perform them for the rest of the world. A twinge of jealousy sparks at the thought of having to share any part of him with the public, but Alani knows that his gifts are much too special to keep all for herself. Harry was golden and he deserved to shine in all of his radiant glory. That was exactly what she had penned in her article, and she said it not because he was her boyfriend and there were clear personal investments, but because she knew it was true even before he had shown any romantic interest in her. 
“What’s tour like?” Alani pipes up as Harry watches the landscape out his window. 
He considers it for a moment and clears his throat. “Fun, mostly. Can be tiring,”
“Lots of partying and adoring fans?”
“No,” he chuckles to himself. “Not so much the partying. Enthusiastic fans, sure,”
Alani narrows her eyes. “No partying?”
“Nope,” Harry reiterates. “Don’t really like to do all that stuff when I’m working. Also just didn’t wanna…”
He trails off and Alani waits a beat to see if he’ll continue. “Didn’t wanna?”
“Fuck it up,” he finishes. “You know, like, be the one who ruined a good thing for a little bit of fun.”
She lets his words settle in, rubbing a reassuring circle on the back of his hand. “Makes sense. Sounds really responsible of you to do that.”
Harry presses a soft kiss to her temple and resumes his study of the scenery. They chat amongst their friends for the remainder of the drive and Alani immediately presses Glenne and Jenny for information about her boyfriend in his younger years. They indulge her inquiries and ask their own questions, deciding privately after a few minutes that her and Harry are a good fit. 
When the group arrives at the resort, Glenne takes charge and instructs them all to meet at the lobby for lunch in twenty minutes. They collect their keys and head up to their respective rooms, which are all located on the very top floor. 
“What a view,” Alani muses as she takes in the sight from their private balcony. 
Harry admires the wonder on her face and nods, his eyes not leaving her side profile. “You’re tellin’ me,”
“Let’s never go home,” she poses, arms snaking around his torso. “Let’s stay here forever, just me and you,”
His throat tightens as he thinks back to the inevitable conversation waiting for them. Harry didn’t know why it was so hard to think about leaving because he had every intention of keeping touch and making their relationship work at all costs. But there was a part of him, a very tiny recess in the back of his mind, that feared the possibility of Alani not feeling the same. 
“Yeah,” he agrees with a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose. “Whatever you want, sweets,”
Alani senses a shift in his demeanor, but she can’t read it. “You okay?”
“Never better,” Harry swallows, mustering up a small smile. “But I am hungry,”
She isn’t entirely convinced that there isn’t something bothering him, but she decides not to push it and tightens her grip around his waist, instead. 
“Race you to the lobby.”
“You’re on.”
********
“You’ve never seen Finding Nemo?”
“Was I s’posed to?”
“My god,” Alani marvels. “You know, I’m starting to believe those rumors that you were grown in a lab,”
Harry’s brow raises and he blinks. “That I was what?”
The restaurant that Glenne and Jeff chose features an aquarium tunnel at the entrance, much to both Harry and Alani’s excitement. Fish, large and small, swim around them and the pair take turns pointing out their favorite colorful species. The Hull’s snap photos for their four year-old daughter, but Jenny also secretly captures one of Harry and Alani with their hands clasped under the mesmerizing blue lighting as a keepsake for her friend. 
“Add Finding Nemo to our movie list,” Alani says, admiring a clownfish that swims close to the glass. 
“S’it  gonna make me cry?”
“Probably,”
“Goddamnit,” 
Alani giggles softly and turns her head away from the glass to silently observe Harry under the lighting of the rippling water. The combination of his serene features and the sound of Billie Holiday’s I’ll Be Seeing You over the sound system creates a perfect image in her mind, one that makes her afraid to blink, lest it be gone forever. Harry glances over at her through the corner of his eye and his lips curl. 
“Checkin’ me out?”
“Always,”
“Like whatcha see?”
“Love it.”
His heart nearly stops at her words, but before he has a chance to process their implication, the hostess calls on their group. 
“And I’ll have the piña colada,” Harry orders once they're seated. 
“Oh my god, H,” Glenne laughs from across the table. “That reminds me, remember your birthday last year when James got trashed and hoarded the karaoke machine for, like, two hours?”
“Ruined that song forever,” Jeff quips, reliving the memory of the Late-Late host drunkenly serenading the entire party with the same song on repeat. 
Harry cringes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I try not to,”
Alani watches as they reminisce on the event, adding their own details and pieces to the puzzle. It’s amusing to watch, but a small part of her also has to fight the pang of exclusion settling into the pit of her stomach. She feels guilty for being affected by it knowing, logically, that it isn’t intentional or malicious in any way. Still, Alani is painfully reminded of the vast differences between their worlds. Harry had gotten to know practically every part of her life, including her family, but there was still so much that she didn’t know about his. It was something she worked hard not to dwell on, given the novelty of their relationship, but she also worried that fear and insecurity would prevent her from investing what little of her heart Harry hadn’t claimed yet. 
“Who was it that started dancing on a table and almost broke a chandelier?” Tom asks, wracking his brain. 
“I think it was Ken—” Jeff hesitates, clearing his throat. “Actually, I don’t remember,”
Harry shifts in his seat beside Alani and reads over the menu, quickly changing the subject. “What’re you gonna get?”
“I don’t know,” Alani admits. “Everything looks so good,”
“Oh look,” Jenny pipes up across from Harry. “They’ve got your fav, the mango sorbet. I wonder if it’s as good as the one in Italy,”
Harry beams and reads over the item. “Oh yeah, that was amazin’,” 
Alani files the detail to the back of her mind. She hadn’t known mango was his favorite flavor of anything, and while it was a trivial detail, she realized that there were so still many little details about him that she wanted to know. Harry had made such an effort to remember everything about her, like her go-to sushi order and the fact that she always saved the kiwis for last in her fruit salad, so it made her feel a touch guilty that she hadn’t made the same effort. 
“Wanna share the coconut shrimp?” Alani asks with a gentle nudge to his shoulder. 
“Oh, uh—”
“He’s allergic,” Glenne says offhandedly, not cold or condescending, but more in the same way that an older sister would. 
“Oh my god,” Alani’s eyes widen. “I’m so sorry,”
Harry laughs lightly and shrugs. “S’okay, I’d let you poison me,”
“I didn’t mean to be rude,” Glenne apologizes, reaching her hand out to Alani. “I thought you knew.”
Alani accepts the hand and waves away her concern. “No, don’t worry about it. I didn’t know, actually.”
“We can stop talking about my defects now,” Harry teases. “‘M not dyin’,”
He leans in closer to Alani and presses a kiss to her temple. “But if I was, it’d be an honor to have my last meal with you.”
She responds with a soft smile before returning her attention back to the menu. His sentiments, however sweet, unfortunately did very little to soothe the embarrassment of her mini faux pas. It was irrational, Alani knew this, but it made her wonder what else she didn’t know and what bigger secrets he was potentially keeping. Whose name had Jeff meant to say earlier to identify the mystery dancer at Harry’s party, and why had it created an awkward shift in the air? She decides not to let the spiraling questions spoil her fun and takes a generous sip of her cocktail to avoid them for the time being. 
********
Harry sets the room key on the nightstand next to their king sized bed and lets himself sink down into the soft mattress. The group had spent the entire day sightseeing, from botanical gardens to scenic beaches, but he was really itching for some quality time alone with Alani. Lately, their time together had been cut frustratingly short by work, school, and life in general. Even when they were seated right next to each other with arms linked or fingers interlocked, she felt far away and he didn’t know why. He hoped that this trip would allow them time to reconnect and solidify their relationship before he had to return to California. 
“Mini bar,” Alani comments, kicking her shoes off and wandering over to the small refrigerator in their suite. “Who’s paying again?”
“The label,”
“Thank you Columbia Records,”
She swipes a few bottles of tequila before climbing into the bed next to Harry. 
“Wanna play a game?”
Harry props himself up on his elbow and nods. “What kinda game?”
“Never have I ever,” Alani explains. “But instead of putting your finger down, you take a shot,”
“Sounds dangerous,”
“It’ll be fun. You can go first if you want,”
He hums and nods in agreement before sitting up to face her. “‘Kay. Never have I ever...named my car after a musician,”
“Cheap shot,” Alani narrows her eyes, taking a sip from the bottle of Jose Cuervo. 
“Your turn,”
She fiddles with the bottle cap, a question already in mind, though she isn’t sure if she should ask it. 
“Never have I ever… dated a model,”
Harry’s brow furrows, but he opens his own bottle slowly and takes a sip. “So it’s that kind of never have I ever,”
“Just trying to keep it interesting,” Alani shrugs innocently. 
“Right. Never have I ever slept with a guy named David,”
Her eyes widen, but she laughs half-heartedly and takes a sip. “Jeez, okay. Never have I ever—”
“Wait, so you two actually…” Harry interrupts, trailing off at the end. 
“I mean,” Alani starts, her eyes wandering to the ceiling. “Yeah, a long time ago,”
“How long ago?”
“Okay, maybe this was a mistake—”
Harry shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll play nice,”
“Alright,” Alani accepts. She knows that she should probably steer the game back onto safer territory, but the wound has been re-opened and she can’t resist the urge to keep picking at it. “Never have I ever slept with a fan,”
Harry takes a slow sip. “Never have I ever cheated on my partner,”
The bottle stays put in Alani’s hand. “Never had I ever gone on a vacation with my partner before this trip,”
The tequila washes over his tongue bitterly like the faint memories that it symbolizes. “Never have I ever dated someone just for the publicity,”
The bottle in Alani’s hand doesn’t move, much to Harry’s relief, but her mind is not as tranquil. 
“Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t,” she says slowly.  
Harry takes another shot and it burns all the way down. “Why are we doin’ this?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t wanna play anymore,”
“Alani,” he starts, springing to his feet when she leaves the bed. “Hey, look at me, please,”
She blinks back the tears that threaten to spill over her lower lashes before turning to him. “I’m sorry, that was a stupid game,”
“S’just all out of context,” Harry offers, reaching for her hands. “Wasn’t the right way to have all of those conversations,”
Alani takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, you’re right,”
“What’s really botherin’ you, hm sweets?” He coos, bringing her cold knuckles to his warm lips. “Tell me, please?”
She releases a shaky breath and tries to sift through the fog in her brain for the right answer.
 “I don’t know, really, I just,” Alani hesitates. “Am I a bad girlfriend?”
“No,” Harry says quickly, his hands lifting to cup her face. “God no, you’re the best,”
“Then why didn’t I know that your favorite ice cream flavor was mango? And why didn’t I know that you were allergic to coconut, and why—”
“Hang on, is that what this is all about?” he questions. “Cause I’ll go eat an entire coconut right now,”
Alani laughs lightly and pinches her eyes shut. “No, it’s not about that. I just feel like you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and you make me feel so fucking special and, God, I just wanna be good enough for you because—”
Harry holds his breath and watches as her eyes gloss over. 
“Because I love you,” she finishes, voice small. “More than I ever thought possible,”
His own eyes sting, but he doesn’t fight the tears that fall as he presses his lips to hers firmly. 
“I love you, too,” Harry murmurs. “I love you so fuckin’ much it drives me crazy,”
Alani chuckles softly. “Ditto,”
“I’ve been wanting to say it for ages, can’t believe you beat me to it.”
“Guess you’re not the only one full of surprises.”
********
The early morning sunlight creeps gently into Harry and Alani’s room, casting a soft, golden glow onto the bare skin that peeks through the white duvet. Harry stirs first, a strand of Alani’s hair tickling his nose and making him smile. He prys his heavy eyelids open and winces at the dull aching of his head aggravated by the light. Alani hears his muffled groan and sighs, willing the sun to go back down and let her sleep a few more hours. 
“Mornin’ sweets,” he rasps with a warm kiss to her bare shoulder. 
She peels her own tired eyes open and flashes a sleepy grin. “Good morning, sunshine,”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Super. You?”
Harry props himself up on his elbow and rests his chin in his palm as he admires the traces of sleep still on her face.
“Just swell.”
Alani chuckles lightly and reaches a hand up to comb through his unruly bedhead. His skin is warm to the touch, and the light from the window casts a heavenly glow around his visage. She pokes her finger into his dimple, which elicits a soft laugh and makes his smile grow wider. They stay intertwined under the sheets as the sun fully rises and soak up their own details to keep as souvenirs from this moment. Alani takes in the scent of vanilla and the juxtaposition of Harry’s inked bicep against the plain, white sheets. He stores away the image of her sleepy, mocha eyes and the pink, manicured fingernails that trail up and down his arm. Neither of them are sure exactly how long they remain in this moment, for all they know it could be hours or days. But whatever the duration, it doesn’t seem to be enough. I need more time, Harry had told Jeff, but there was no more left to give. He had to tell her, and it was now or never. 
“Hey,” he begins carefully. “I need to tell you something,”
Alani sits up to be eye level with him and nods. “Anything,”
Harry waits a beat, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear and pressing his lips to her bare shoulder before letting the confession spill out. 
“I have to go back to L.A.,”
 “I kinda figured,”
He draws in a deep sigh of relief. “You did?”
“Yeah,” Alani shrugs. “Hilo isn’t exactly Hollywood,”
“I asked for more time, but the label—”
“No, I get it. So… when? Next month?”
“Friday,”
Alani’s brows furrow. “This Friday?”
“Yeah,” Harry admits with a gulp. 
“The last day of our trip?”
“Yes,”
Her heart drops into her stomach and she feels sick. It all made sense now why Harry’s mood had shifted when she jokingly asked him not to leave, and why he had been so insistent on spending as much time together as possible this week. Their game of never have I ever turned instantly defensive when asked about his dating history. Never had I ever gone on vacation with my partner before this trip. Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t. He had whisked her away on a farewell trip and God knows who else had been in her place before, or worse, who would be in it next. Harry was saying good-bye. 
“Wait,” Alani says finally, mind still racing too fast to process. “How long have you known?”
“Alani—”
“How long?”
Harry swallows. “Couple of weeks,”
“You knew for weeks and you didn’t tell me?” she questions incredulously.
“I tried—”
“You know that I hate surprises, you know how I feel about plans—”
“I’m sorry,” Harry insists, sitting up straighter. “I wanted to tell you so many times, but it just never felt right,”
Alani rolls her eyes. “So what, you were just gonna leave a fucking sticky note on my pillow and hope for the best?”
“Don’t say that—”
“Is that why you brought me here?” she asks, voice hoarse. “Is that why you gave me this necklace? A souvenir of our little summer fling so you could leave with a clear conscience?”
Harry’s jaw tightens. “How could you even think that?”
“Because maybe it’s true. Why else would you wait until the very last minute to tell me about this?”
“Maybe we should take a minute,” he suggests, the whites of his eyes now bloodshot. “Before we say something we’ll regret,”
“I think I already did.” Alani admits. Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t. 
Harry’s head pounds and he feels like he’s drowning, treading water in every direction only to be dragged further into the current. He quickly pulls on his clothes from the night before and tries to steady his breathing. 
“M’gonna go wait in the hall,” he offers. “Give you some space to think and then we’ll talk, yeah?”
Alani doesn’t respond or even meet his pleading eyes. She simply tightens the duvet around her body and turns her head to the window, letting a single, bitter tear roll down her cheek. The door closes softly and she is immediately filled with regret and guilt. Had she truly meant all of the things she said? Or was it fear and the instinct to flee taking over her mouth? Alani wanted to believe that she was wrong and that Harry hadn’t intentionally kept her in the dark, but from where she stood, the sun had long disappeared behind the clouds and all that was left was the storm. 
Harry trudges down the hallway and the walls spin, closing in on him slowly. If he had just told Alani sooner, everything would be different. He had avoided doing so for this exact reason and out of fear that their relationship wouldn’t be worth the risk in her mind. It was selfish—he was selfish—to try to make the decision for her, and now the woman he loved was getting ready to walk away because he had broken her trust. What else was there to do? His back meets the wall and he sinks to the floor. 
“Hey H,” Jeff clears his throat from above. “We should talk,”
“She knows. Didn’t go well,”
“So she did approve the article?” 
Harry lifts his head and his brows furrow. “What?”
There’s a harsh knock at the door and Alani jumps. In Harry’s absence, she had managed to cool off and sift through her frantic thoughts. She had been wrong to think that he used her, all it took was a quick stroll down memory lane to prove otherwise. He had never given her any true reason not to trust him, so there had to be some other reason why he hadn’t told her about his plans to leave so soon. Alani pads over to the door and unlocks it gently. 
“Harry, I’m sor—”
“Wanna talk about surprises?” he seethes. “What the fuck is this?”
She squints at the phone screen that he holds up to her face and the title of her unpublished article stares back at her. 
“I don’t know—”
“Well it has your goddamn name on it,” Harry shoots back. 
Alani steps aside and lets him into the room before she closes the door behind her. “I can explain—”
“Did you write it or not?”
“Yes, but—”
He shuts the phone off and slams it face down onto the night stand. “How fucking dare you call me a liar and then pull this shit behind my back,”
“I didn’t lie,” Alani defends, voice weak. “I had no idea it was going to be published, please just listen—”
“A class project,” he interrupts with his back still turned. “That’s what you said,”
“It was never meant to be released,”
“How do I know that? How do I know you’re not just trying to cover your ass?”
“Please,” Alani begs as her vision begins to blur. “I was wrong, I shouldn’t have said all those things,”
Harry runs a hand through his hair and casts his eyes to the ceiling in an attempt to quell the emotion that pools behind his eyes. 
“So why did you?”
“I was scared,”
“Of?”
Alani takes a deep breath. “Of losing you for good. Of falling in l—”
“Don’t,” he interrupts. “Don’t finish that sentence,”
“I don’t know how,” she tries again. “And I don’t know who released it, but I swear—”
“You really expect me to trust a word you say after you accused me of lying about this whole thing, about us?”
Harry’s  gaze lowers back to hers and the bright, green eyes that she has come to love are replaced with a blood-shot, stormy sea that makes her stomach drop. The words get caught in her throat. 
“I fucked up,” he continues. “I know that I should’ve told you. But I’m having a hard time believing that this wasn’t planned, that this random website would just accidentally publish your work without your consent,”
Alani can’t explain it either, she truly had no idea how her writing had ended up in the wrong hands. There was only one other person she had entrusted it with, but surely Dr. Hudson hadn’t betrayed her, had she? Alani didn’t know who to believe anymore. 
“Harry, I’m so sorry,” she tries. “I didn’t mean what I said, and I know I can’t take it back, but you have to at least believe that I never wanted to hurt you,”
Harry is silent for a moment, and Alani decides that it’s her turn to tell the truth. There was nothing left to lose. 
“At first, I did want to publish it,” she explains. “But I changed my mind and I scrapped the whole thing. In the end, the only person I intended to show it to was you,”
“So how did it get onto the internet for the whole fucking world to see?” he presses. 
Alani sighs. “My advisor wanted to know what I was working on, so I sent it to her, but she never had my permission to publish it. Now I realize how stupid it sounds, but it’s the truth,”
“If you had come to me, I would have given you permission,”
“I’m so sorry,”
Harry’s shoulders tense. Every fiber of his being  wants to believe her, but how could he? She had told him herself that things would be messy and warned him that he didn’t know what he was asking by pursuing a relationship with her. Maybe it really was all his fault for not seeing the signs, but that still didn’t change the fact that he couldn’t trust her anymore. And based on her reaction to the news of his departure, it seemed as though Alani didn’t trust him either. 
“Even if you’re telling the truth,” Harry begins, slow and deliberate. “You still thought, after everything, that I would abandon you. And if that’s the kind of person you think I am, if that’s the person you wrote about—”
“Harry—”
“Then I hope you got all the material you wanted.”
“Please, don’t go.” Alani cries but it’s too late. The door slams and her heart falls. 
After a beat, she races to the door and into the hallway but there’s no sign of Harry. As quickly as he had appeared into her life, he had vanished. Gone without a trace.
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artsninspo · 4 years
Text
Unexpected Renaissance (Tre X Reader)
MASTERLIST
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Pairing: Trevante Rhodes X Reader
Word count: 1.9K 
Summary: When Tre and the reader meet at his fraternity’s party they have no idea the kind of bond heading up to his room is bound to create. 
---
I was in my junior year of college when you met Tre. A totally different person; stuck up, condescending and exclusively committed to your artistic pursuits. I felt disconnected from my culture but connected to my ancestry unable to find beauty in the mundane everyday stuff that makes black beautiful. Guess surburbia and privilege can do that to a person. My mother decided to take a sabbatical and my father being a dean organized my special permission to have a roving semester. I was never interested in my mother’s mystification of the south or how she spoke about it with all its lore.
I was mortified to hear my cousin Toya didn’t know what to do with her life. But tapping into my inner artist you listened anyway considering it might be good inspiration for some work. While both of my parents went to survey some family land Toya painted my face.
“You ever been to a college party?” She asked.
“Of course… I’m in college” I stated obviously making Toya snicker.
“You’re a real bitch you know that. But still you my cousin - that’s what this family does they judge me. But you see, I’m a real bitch, I’m not gonna let you go out sad in whatever this shit is. Aren’t you supposed to be an artist?” She asked the real deal from then. “Is it avant garde or some shit I don’t understand?” She added making me smile.
“Some shit” I nodded.
“Yeah well you ain’t about to wear them rags around me. What size are you?” She asked.
“12”
“I’m sure my mama got something laying around that looks better than those rags. Cause I bet you’re into that classist sustainability bullshit too huh” Toya snapped.
“Yes I am, but I think it should start with the corporations and the rich. The lower classes naturally practice many sustainable methods.” I acknowledged.
“Good, then you ain’t all the way air headed” she commented pulling out a dress.
“I’m not a scholar I’m an artist” I clarified.
“They make y’all pay for that too? Any of those niggas in museums degreed up?” Toya asked smug as always.
“You’d do well in intellectual circles.” I commented putting on the dress and denim jacket.
“And you’re about to tear up this party” she smiled looking at me in disbelief.
The ride to campus was short and we could hear the music from the house once we got out the car. I’d never been to an HBCU before. I especially stayed away from fratboys. I watched as people greeted Toya with familiarity.
“Who’s your homegirl?” One of the guys asked. Clearly high ranking in the sorority by his confidence and posturing.
“Met her at the hair store, you said you want pretty girls” Toya justified omitting our familial relations, taking his hand and disappearing. It wasn’t until about an hour or so later that she returned and him and a few other guys got into line that I saw Tre. His movement in the stroll caught my eye and so did his arms.he had this elegance and the way the light his his skin was perfect. I didn’t realize I was staring until he was beside me. I got a closer look at his biceps .
“Tre, like what you see?” He introduced and I snickered wiping my eyes at his confidence.
“You crossed the room” I noted.
“I thought it was the right thing to do with you staring so hard” he commented. He kept talking but my mind was wrapped up on all the pieces I could create with him as the subject. My final project was on black version of renaissance art.
“What does your penis look like?” I asked interrupting him with a raised eyebrow.
“Wow, you came in with Toya right? That happened pretty fast” he swallowed as his air of confidence deflated slightly.
“What’s it look like, you have pictures on your phone?” I asked.
“Is it a prerequisite?” He asked and nodded.
“Actually it is” I responded truthfully. The tiny penises on the most renowned works of art never sat well with me. Appreciating the beauty of the sculptors work only so see those tiny members always was a sore point. Tre motioned for me to follow him in his room. I noticed eyes on us, even Toyas. He closed the door and I looked around a bit noting the minimal design.
“I bet that bed is filthy”
“Nah, I like clean sheets” he commented taking his shirt off leaving his gold chain. It made me smiled as I decided to add that touch.
“How tall are you?”
“Six feet” he noted as you stored the I information in my memory bank trying to consider how expensive it would be to do a life size sculpture in dark stone.
“Fuck” I muttered making him smile.
“You don’t want no foreplay or nothing, we can just get to it?” He asked dropping his pants and by far the best shaped and well endowed nude model I’d ever come across. Not to mention he was handsome. I circled him using my gift - a laser accurate photographic memory. I needed the body to be perfect. I could ask him for pictures of his face later I thought.
When I got up from looking at his member there was sheer confusion in his eyes.
“What, you want me to sit?” He asked confusing me.
“You can put your clothes back on.” I commented ecstatic.
“What the fuck?” He asked dressing. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
“I’m sorry, you just had perfect biceps. I’m an artist and I think you’d be an excellent sculpture. I’m probably gonna sketch you when I get back home” I told him as he grabbed his shirt. He was dumbfounded and annoyed.
“What kind of-“ he started about to blast me so I pulled out my phone finally coming back into reality and the evident danger.
“Look, I’m an artist - senior year I want to have a collection, enough for an exhibit. I’ve been waiting for the perfect subject to model a sculpture after. Michelangelo’s David is beautiful. He may have me in skill but you have David by at least six inches. In scale” I explained tempering the tension and complementing his manhood. The fire faded in his eyes as he looked through my digital portfolio.
“You did all this” he looked surprised and impressed.
“Yeah, I think it’s important for black people to enjoy art they can see themselves in” I admitted.
“You’re lucky you think my biceps are beautiful any other guy would have been fucked up with you getting that close and not sucking” he said frankly.
“My sincerest apologies.” I admitted and he smiled. “Think Toyas ready to go?” I asked.
“Nah” Tre said telling me she was occupied with his eyes.
“Alright thanks, thanks for being cool about my request” I nodded.
...
Tre was different than any other subject. It was like he was iridescent. I got another dimension another colour, more depth anytime I looked at him. Toya came home from her work one day saying Tre wanted me to call him. She never asked about that night so I didn’t say anything. We talked all night. Then there was another party and this time I went with my sketchbook and coals he stood with shirtless as I tried capturing his chest and shoulders having finished his rough outline.
Then he was visiting museums with me. Stopping by my makeshift studio in the sabbatical house nearly shitting himself every time pops came in to inquire about my progress. He was there when I cursed out suppliers and cried at the cost of a life sized adaptation, immortalization through art. He was there when the sabbatical and semester were over and we were heading back home. Then there was a Tre sized hole with me. I missed him, I missed our conversations and somehow all the art school politics, drama and preoccupations meant a little less. I found myself drifting away from superficial and towards real. My renaissance was happening at the same time I was preparing my exhibit. My Mona Lisa had brown skin and cornrows — it was Toya.
Tre and I didn’t cross paths again because of my travels until my graduation. He was visibly absent from the exhibit and frustrated about it. I’d never put out anything wit I’m that wasn’t perfect. I showed him my favourite places, I just got my own place afforded by my art instead of my parents wealth. We had sex that night, a fitting way to celebrate. He’d made a comment about not seeing me naked and how it wasn’t fair. I told him he wasn’t going to. Wrapped my insecurity on the moral high ground of not living for the visual satisfaction of men. Tre being Tre - a good man let me get away with it. Still we ended up in my unlit living room going at it on the couch. He used his hands to make mental notes. He took his hands feeling every curve, every roll every imperfection before showing me sex with artistic geniuses and proteges was nothing. I knew I loved him when he woke up and covered me over respecting my wishes about being seen. Somehow that night turned into every night for two weeks. Then he moved in three weeks later. We’ve been inseparable ever since.
I slide my stool back looking at the life sized sculpture of my man. I swallow a little emotional about it finally coming to an end. I swallow standing and daring to probe it for imperfections as my greatest critic. No one knows this body like I do.
“Tre!” I scream. “Tre!” I repeat with urgency like it can animate and walk out of the studio. He comes sleepily leaning in the doorway with his eyes barely open.
“What’s wrong babe?” He asks.
“Babe, it’s finished, four years later it’s finished” I squeal jumping into his arms and it’s a miracle he catches me smiling as he holds me close. I’ve never toiled at anything this long.
“So are you sick of looking at me yet?” He teases and I smile as he kisses me.
“No”
“You said once you finish we can start our family” he says with a one track mind.
“You’re not sick of me yet?” I retort.
“No” he admits.
I smile having denied him kids for the past two years since we’ve been married. The first year we were honeymooners and then the pressure for kids began. He stood with me in solidarity for the public while wearing me out behind closed doors. I stopped taking my birth control six months ago and have been neglecting my real husband for the art piece.
I step down from his hold taking off my glasses and gloves.
“Tre?” I ask putting things back in their place.
“Yeah?”
“I need you for something else” I admit and he swallows nodding despite his agitation the greatest husband ever. I can never thank Toya enough for dragging me to that party.
“What babe?”
“Let’s get started on our greatest masterpiece yet” I smile and it takes the double-entendre awhile to set in before he smiles ready and we get started.
______________
TAGLIST:
@determinednot2fall @twistedcharismaaa​ @l-auteuse​ @chaneajoyyy​ @thickemadame​ @longpause-awkwardsmile​ @klaylakayblack​ @amelatonin​ @just-juicee​ @xo-goldengirl​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @itsjustyazz​ @soufcakmistress​ @nijajoha  @iamrheaspeaks @4tprincess  @justgetitoverwith0​ @queenflaws @abeautifulmindexposed @coveredingodiv @nahimjustfeelingit-writes​@champagnesugamama​ @heavensangelxo​ @bugngiz​ @cherrystainedlipsbaby​ @tip222u​ @keiva1000​ @doublesidedscoobysnacks​ @shalynn-m​ @bakarilennox​ @tyees​ @damienwitcher 
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korgidorgi · 4 years
Text
Lena Luthor x AdoptedTeen! Reader
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Word count: 2357
Warnings: Swearing, insecurities, mentions of past trauma, creepy dad, fluff?
Summary: Reader (written without pronouns but with the intention of being female) is totally into electronics (which i know absolutely nothing about) and struggles with insecurities and opening up fully. A science fair comes up for her electronics class so she totally dominates it. However her insecurities play in, and a call from her abusive dad who has no custody over her anymore sends them over the edge. Her adoptive mother, Lena, is there with her every step of the way.
“Hey, how is your project coming along?” Lena pops her head in the doorway, wanting to see your progress on your electronics project.
The tunes from your favorite band’s latest album reach her ears, and keep you concentrated on your work. You sit on the floor, bits and pieces of various circuits, metal, wires and other parts of your project are strewn all over the floor. Your project sits in front of you as you find the right parts to build it. You don’t even glance up at your adopted mother as you turn the music down a bit to answer her.
“It's coming along fine, still gotta work on some of the circuits and fine-tune the motor movements.” You answer, attaching some more wires into the body of the project. “A couple of the motors aren’t working properly.”
“You’re doing a nice job there, looks like it's coming along great.” She comments, smiling at your passion for your electronics class. “Well, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask for help. I will always help you, whatever you need.”
She leaves your room, leaving you by yourself again to work on your project to the sound of music. The more you work on this one motor, the more frustrated you become. You know you can ask Lena for help, but the fear keeps you from doing so. You continue to power through your frustration, determined to get through this project, like all your projects, by yourself, independently.
“Stupid piece of shit.” You curse at your project.
Not too long later, you hear Lena call you out for dinner, so you surface almost immediately. She sits with you on the sofa and the two of you watch a show while you eat. You watch the show intently, commentating on how the characters are dumb and trying to guess what happens next, only for it to happen seconds after you say so. Lena joins in on the commentary, making you laugh at some of her lighthearted insults to the characters.
You and Lena have your good moments, but you’re still getting used to being under her care and guidance. You’re just counting the months and days until you get put back in the system. Thankfully this is only your second time out of a crowded home, with a family, but it still hurt the first time you were sent back. Although this time feels different. You feel safer here, more comfortable and confident. Lena has been there to help you adjust, learning all she can about parenting to help you. She was there for you when you first broke down at her place. She was there for you when you found out your dad was out of jail. You’re not nearly as closed off as you once were back when she first brought you home a little over a year ago. 
Home. Now that's a word. Will this be your final home? It’s starting to feel like that. Maybe if you just hold onto that hope.
You spot Lena’s car in the pickup/dropoff lane at your school, so you make your way over and hop in the passenger side, tossing your bag in the back.
“What’d you do today, Darling?” Lena asks as she pulls out of the lane. “Anything fun or interesting coming up?”
“Actually, my Electronics class is doing a sort of science fair like the art kids do. We’re supposed to create an original design for the project.” You rant on excitedly. “Basically they gave us free reign to do whatever we wanted, whether it was practical, or for fun, or something.”
Lena chuckles at your enthusiasm as she turns down the street, joining the traffic to make her way back home. “Do you have an idea of what you want to make?”
“Well, I’ve always wanted to make an Iron Man suit. Or just the helmet for a starter. I think it would be really fun!” You respond, thinking up ways on how you could make such a thing.
“I think that would be totally cool, Y/N.” She responds. “How would you go about making something like that? Wouldn’t a full suit take a long time to make? When is this science fair?”
“Well, I would start with the helmet. I don’t think I’d actually have enough time for a full suit, but I would totally make it for fun.” You answer. Lena knows your obsession with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so she will always encourage you to do what you love, create what you love. “The fair isn't for another month and a half, but I’ve seen videos of people creating cool props with electronics and stuff, so for a helmet they use a whole bunch of materials like cardboard, or plastic, or foamboard or something like that.” You continue to ramble.
“I have access to a 3d printer.” She announces. “However, it’s for work.”
Her response dims your hopeful mood, causing you to let out a small pout. Guess you’ll just have to go with some other material; cardboard, foamboard, some other flat medium.
“I can make an exception though, for you.” She glances at you to watch your reaction, smiling when she sees your face light up. “I can help you design the pieces-”
“It's okay, I can design them myself.” You quickly say, once again finding yourself pushing her away.
“Alright, just let me know if you need help for anything.” She simply replies, not daring to push your limits.
As the date of the Fair nears, you scramble around to make adjustments and updates to your design. You continuously test the motors and placement of the pieces of the helmet and adjust them as so. You test out the LEDs in the eyes, the sound system, and voice control system. You’ve put so much hard work into the project, researching new systems like voice activation and using prior classroom knowledge to go above and beyond expectations. In fact, you’ve gone so far and beyond, you think you’ve gone too far.
As the date comes up just around the corner, you begin to doubt your project. You become self conscious of your project. What if the kids make fun of your obsession? What if they hate you for making such a thing? What if it turns into a complete disaster?
“Hey, darling, are you ready to set up and present your project?” Lena calls from the living room. The fair starts at 7pm, and you’re already having second thoughts about it.
When you don’t answer or come out of your room, Lena quietly approaches your bedroom and softly knocks on the door.
“Honey, you ready?” She gently pushes the door open to find you sitting on your bed, staring at your finished project worriedly. “Everything alright?” She asks, cautiously stepping over to you.
“What if everything goes wrong?” You begin, trying to hold back your emotions. “What if the kids make fun of me? They already think I’m weird. I did too much for the project, even the teachers are going to be mad at me for doing too much.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Lena sits next to you on your bed. “I think everyone will love it. This is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen you make. And you did it all on your own! I couldn’t be more proud of you.” She gently brings you into a hug, whispering reassurances to you to calm you down and restore the confidence you had when you first talked to her about your project.
You finally calm down enough and the two of you leave to attend the Science Fair. The car ride was a little tense at first, until Lena asks if she can see the functions of the helmet you’ve created. You demonstrate the different features of it, slowly becoming more excited about the fact that you had built this thing by yourself.
Once you reach the school, you make your way inside to the gymnasium, where the fair is held. You receive a name tag to be displayed in front of your project. He and Lena have a short greeting before she helps you find a spot for your project among the many tables set up around the room. Kids and their parents with projects fill the entire room. Teachers wander the exhibits, helping people set up and answer questions about the night and meeting parents. You find an empty table in which to set your project and the label your electronics teacher has provided you with. You set down your covered up project, still a little insecure about your project and the people in the room.
You suddenly feel your phone buzz in your pocket, so you pull it out and answer it, ready to hang up on one of those scam callers or apologize to a “wrong number” person.
“Hey, sweetheart. It's been a while.” Your dad’s voice sounds from the other side of the call.
His voice makes you tense up as he continues. “I heard you’ve got a science fair thing going on tonight? Good luck. Daddy misses you.”
“D-dad?” You quietly stutter into the phone, unsure of what to respond with.
“Yeah, sweetie, it's me.” He chuckles from the other side. “You wouldn’t mind if I swung by to take a look at your project, would you?”
You don’t like the tone of his voice. A gentle hand on your shoulder makes you snap your attention to a concerned Lena. She tilts her head, wondering what's going on. You shake her off and excuse yourself and step out of the gym’s doors onto the school’s blacktop right outside.
“Honey, I know what school you go to.” He says, his words sending chills down your spine.
“N-no, you don’t- you don’t need to come here. I-” You stutter into the phone, losing more and more control of your emotions.
“Sweetie, I want you back.” He continues. “I want you back in my life.”
“Daddy?” A little girl's voice sounds from the other side of the line.
“Not now honey.” You hear him pull away from the phone to shoo the little girl away. “Please, babygirl, come back to me.”
“No. I-I’ve already moved on.” You try to stand up to him. “All you’ve ever done was bully me and make me feel like shit.”
“Hey! Watch your language.” He snaps suddenly before instantly changing his persona. “Come on, baby, why won't you let your dear old dad come visit you?”
“Be- because I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!” You raise your voice. “Don’t call me ever again, or-or try to see me. Cause it’s not gonna happen. I don't ever want to see you again, okay?”
“You can’t get rid of me, I’m your father!” He threatens, making you shake even more. “I will get you back one day!”
“Bye dad.” You hang up, cutting him off, and immediately block his number.
You’re so shaken up, you can’t bring yourself to go back inside. You just need to breathe. You lean against the brick wall of the school, trying to calm yourself down as you pocket your phone. You fidget with your hands as you continue to shake, not noticing Lena’s worried presence. She gives you space to calm down, keeping an eye on you from a distance. You glance around the space outside, trying to distract yourself from the previous interaction, spotting Lena. You finally calm down enough and slide down the wall, clutching your knees in your arms and placing your head on top. Lena gives you another moment before she walks over and sits next to you to give you company. You lean onto her shoulder, to which she wraps her arm around your shoulders in comfort.
“He-he called me.” You whisper, shaking against her. “He knows what school I go to, he knows i'm at a science fair. I told him off, but, Mom, I’m scared.” 
“Hey, it’s going to be alright. I’m proud of you for sticking up to him like that. Take a deep breath. In, and out.” She instructs. “I will never, ever, let him come near you. He will never hurt you again, you understand me?”
You nod against her, trying to take deep breaths to calm yourself down.
“Good. You know we’re friends with Alex, and Kara, and the rest of the Superfriends, and they would never let anything happen to you either.” She reassures you, holding you safely against her.
She holds you for another little while, allowing you to calm down before turning you to her. She wipes your stray tears and pushes some of your hair out of your face.
“Hey, you’re okay. You’re safe.” She reassures. “Why don’t we go inside and show off that awesome helmet of yours?”
She smiles softly at you, allowing you some time to get enough confidence to go back inside to show the teachers what you did for your project.
Despite your insecurities, the rest of the night goes smoothly. Your teacher was very impressed with your project. Parents and other kids were fascinated with the voice control you installed, and how JARVIS actually responds using certain responses to certain commands. Kids wanted to try on the helmet, so you let some of them try it out themselves. It wasn’t long until the night had to wrap up and come to an end. The teachers thanked the students that participated in the fair before calling it a night. The drive home with Lena was a comfortable silence. Lena had her hand resting atop yours the whole time, rubbing the top of yours with her thumb. She pulls up into her parking spot, but leaves the car running for another moment longer.
She finally decides to break the silence. “So, I’m a mom now, huh?”
Before you can open your mouth to apologize about calling her that earlier, she speaks up again, smiling. “I’m honored you think of me as your mother now.”
The two of you finish the night off with some junk food and a Marvel movie as a family.
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bamon4bamily · 3 years
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TVD 10x02 - While My Guitar Gently Weeps (part 1) Enjoy! =)
Cut to - Munich, Germany. Elena is in one of the lab morgues. She is leaning against the freezers, writing in her diary.
 Dear Diary,
Today will be different. I will start fresh. Be someone new. New year, new life, new diary. I’ve come all this way, thanks to my father, but I need to step out of his shadow, and make it on my own. I have to stop doubting myself… As that cute guy Sam told me, I was chosen for a reason. It’s time I start believing in myself and become the Elena Gilbert I always wanted to be. Away from Mystic Falls, the drama, the supernatural, the pain…  
But, just between us, I feel like something is off… I mean, I’m glad to feel different, it’s just that in a weird way, I don’t feel quite like myself… Maybe it’s because the nightmares have come back… They are so vivid, as if I were living through it once more. The freezing water, the air escaping my lungs, the despair of knowing they were with me. That horrible feeling, over and over again… I thought I had healed, as much as one can heal from something like that, but I can still feel her hand slipping away… At times I think my dad blames me for letting her go. If he only knew the real reason both of us survived, maybe he wouldn’t resent it so much. Regardless, I will forever be thankful to Stefan for saving us that night. Although he still blames himself for not being able to save my mother, there was nothing anyone could have done.
Okay, enough about the past, I need to move on, build a new life for myself, and maybe, even find a new love… No vampires this time! Whatever comes, I’m living my life to the fullest! Letting myself be free… No fear, no guilt, no insecurities… Project Munich, here I come!
 Suddenly, she hears a noise. If it weren’t coming from one of the freezer drawers, she wouldn’t be startled, but since it clearly is, her heart starts pounding. She approaches cautiously… 
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Before she can even grab the handle, the drawer slams open…
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SAM: Boo!
ELENA: Oh my god, Sam?! You scared me half to death!
SAM: (Smirking) Good thing it was just half way. Wouldn’t want you dying on me.
ELENA: Well, what if I had a heart condition?! I could have!
SAM: A heart condition, or died?
ELENA: Well, both… But you know what I mean! You are so weird!
SAM: This coming from the girl leaning against body freezers in the middle of the night…
ELENA: At least I wasn’t lying in one of them like some kind of zombie!
SAM: It’s surprisingly relaxing…
ELENA: (Mocking) Being a zombie or lying in the freezers?
SAM: I suppose, both… (they crack up).
ELENA: Anyway, what are you doing here?
SAM: I like to come here to think… It’s quiet. You?
ELENA: Same… Guess we’re a couple of weirdos…
SAM: A little eccentric is all. (They smile in complicity). I will confess though; I do have an alternative motive…
ELENA: Oh, god. Please don’t tell me you are a psycho killer. I’ve dealt with enough of those…
SAM: I’m not going to ask why, but I do want to ask you something…
ELENA: (With a suspicious face) Uhm, okay… what?
SAM: Do you like picnics?
ELENA: That question isn’t helping your psycho case… But, yeah, I do. Why?
SAM: How about you and me, tomorrow… Wine and cheese in the main garden?
ELENA: (Kittenish) Are you asking me on a date?
SAM: Depends… is it a yes, or a no?
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ELENA: Depends… is it red wine, or white?
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SAM: Red, of course! What kind of a psycho drinks white wine?
ELENA: Plenty… And, you literally just met me, so there is a risk I might actually be one of them.
SAM: (Flirtatious smirk) I’m willing to take the risk, if you are…
ELENA: What the hell! Life is too short to play it safe.
SAM: I like the way you think. It’s a date then!
ELENA: It’s a date.      
SAM: Huh, I totally thought that was going to fail…
ELENA: You never know until you try, right?
SAM: (Smiles) I guess you don’t… Listen, it’s really late, do you want me to walk you to your dorm? I know this place is infested with military, but what if you run into a ghost? Pretty sure they would be clueless about how to handle that.
ELENA: (Laughs) Neither would you. But, you are not nearly as scary as they are, so I’d rather take my chances with you.
SAM: (Teasing) I happen to be a paranormal aficionado; I know how to handle a ghost.
ELENA: Oh, really?
SAM: I’ve seen all Ghost Busters movies a million times! I know what I’m doing!
ELENA: (Sarcastic) A Ghost Busters fanboy, that’s very comforting… (As they are walking out) Oh! And don’t think that just because I agreed to go on a date with you, I won’t get you back for the near heart attack you gave me … I happen to be a real horror movie aficionada; better watch your back…
Cut to – Mystic Falls Town Hall. Matt has been officially sworn in to take office as the new Mayor of Mystic Falls. Although he is worried about Edward’s abrupt decision, especially knowing the context behind his un-rational behavior, he can’t help but feel proud. This is what he had wanted all his life. And, given Edward’s current psychological condition, this decision was probably for the best.
 COUNCIL SPEAKER: Mayor Donovan, I speak on behalf of all my colleagues, we welcome you to this body of representatives with open arms, and ensure you that you have our full support, respect, and commitment.
MATT: It is my honor to have been entrusted with this duty. I will work day and night to rightfully serve our town, my home town. I will forever be grateful to Mayor Powell for believing in me, and giving me the opportunity to give back to the people that have built this town from scratch. In my first order of duty, I hereby announce the newly appointed Chief of Police, Sheriff Jackson. A woman of honor, courage and morals. I am certain she will serve this town with honor, loyalty, truth, knowledge and commitment. Please, give her a round of applause.  
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SHERIFF JACKSON: Thank you, Mayor Donovan. I wear the badge with pride. I am humbled and honored to be given this responsibility. Trust that my team and I will follow the example you gave to us, and will serve and protect this community with the same passion and commitment you did. We might be in different offices now, but we will always be family.  
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MATT: Always! Thank you, Sherriff Jackson. I have no doubt that you will surpass both mine and my predecessor’s accomplishments. In closing, I’d like to say that although we face many challenges ahead, I’m confident that we can overcome any obstacle by working together, always prioritizing people. Mystic Falls is a town built by its citizens, for its citizens. It is our duty to ensure the wellness and prosperity of all. Once again, thank you. Time to get to work! (They applaud).
Cut to – The Mikaelson mansion. Abby and Klaus are talking about Hope settling-in at the Salvatore School, among other things.
 ABBY: Hope looked so happy... And her dorm room is amazing! At the main house and a single! How lucky was she!
KLAUS: I had to “persuade” Alaric to make sure she was given the best accommodations.
ABBY: (Smiles) I’m sure you did…  
KLAUS: And how is Bonnie settling in her new home? I honestly cannot comprehend how she could voluntarily agree to spend day and night with Damon Salvatore. Are we certain he is not compelling her?
ABBY: (Smirks) You know he can’t, although I kind of wish that was the reason (they laugh). From what she told me this morning; the house is beautiful. Guess we’ll have to wait and see, if she ever invites us over.
KLAUS: She will, love, give her some time. They just moved in together, they need their privacy.  (Suddenly, the door opens, in come Elijah, Rebekah, Kol, Freya, Marcel, and Danae, suitcases and all). Uhm, excuse me, what is this unexpected visit about? Our family reunion isn’t until spring…
ELIJAH: Lovely to see you too, brother. Do pardon if our sudden arrival interrupts your tea time, but we are in a bit of a pickle. We have been cursed out of New Orleans; and, the last time I checked, this was also our home.
KLAUS: I am gone, for not even a month, and you somehow manage to get yourselves thrown out of what is rightfully ours? How exactly did that come to be?
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MARCEL: Why don’t you ask Kol…
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KOL: Oh, come on, Marcellus, it’s as much your fault as it is mine. And, don’t act so innocent, Elijah. You had your hand in this too.
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ELIJAH: (Fixing his cufflinks) Maybe a little…
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REBEKAH: While you boys decide who is to blame, I’ll go settle down in my bedroom.
KLAUS: You can’t. We turned it into a games room.
REBEKAH: (Indignant) Excuse me?!! How dare you!? Why my room?! Why not Elijah’s or Kol’s!?
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KLAUS: Yours was better fitted for the purpose. Nothing personal, love.
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REBEKAH: Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t… (Turns to Abby) And definitely nothing to do with you, right?
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ABBY: (Sarcastic) Of course not, I wouldn’t dare! This was all him!
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KLAUS: (Smirks) Traitor…  Anyhow, dear sister, there are plenty of other rooms you can choose from.
REBEKAH: Whatever. I’ll go find myself a room you two haven’t ruined, yet.
FREYA: I’m coming with. You people forget I’ve never been in this house!
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DANAE: Really? I thought you had. I mean, even I have stayed here.
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FREYA: And, thanks for rubbing that in, my love.
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DANAE: No ill intentions, hon. I’m just surprised.
FREYA: (Sarcastic) Guess being a Mikaelson didn’t grant me the privilege, but being Klaus’s best friend’s girlfriend sure did.
KLAUS: Oh, don’t be so dramatic, sister. You are here now, are you not?
REBEKAH: Forget him, sis, this is our house too. We’ll give you the grand tour. Once we get dibs on the best rooms (they leave).  
KLAUS: So, dear brothers, care to explain to me exactly how you got yourselves into this “pickle”?
ELIJAH: We will. But we are going to need something stronger than tea…
ABBY: Oh, it’s not tea. We just pretend it is, so we don’t feel like we are day drinking.
KOL: Who cares about that! We are vampires, love; we can do whatever we want!
KLAUS: KLAUS: (Sarcastic) My loving brother Kol, can we please go back to the topic at hand? I’d like to know exactly how long I can expect to have you all around.
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ELIJAH: It is going to be a while…
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MARCEL: If not forever.
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KOL: (Mocking) Look on the bright side, Marcellus, you’ll have time to get to know Mystic Falls. Despite what some believe, it is quite the charming little town… And, our home sweet home, for now… Better get used to it.
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Cut to – Pietro’s mansion. Him and Darius are having a “secret” con-call after their board meeting.
 PIETRO: I’ve had just about enough. We need to retaliate for this. You didn’t see the aftermath, this place looked like a slaughterhouse.
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DARIUS: Courtesy of your ripper brother, I presume?
PIETRO: Not sure which one of them did it, or if it was the three of them, but I had to get a professional cleaner.
DARIUS: You should really consider getting video surveillance, clears these types of doubts right up.
PIETRO: Never, those things give me all sorts of peeping Tom vibes. Anyway, I’m sorry about your witch friends, I’ll make it up to you.
DARIUS: I warned you not to play games. Now we’ve lost a coven of very talented witches, three potential recruits; we are clueless as to where the others are, and made the rest of the board members believe everything was going according to plan… (Sarcastic) Kudos!
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PIETRO: Don’t you dare give me attitude about this, you have messed up worse than I have.
DARIUS: True; fair enough. Let’s not enter into panic mode, it’s a minor misstep. We’ll find them soon enough. In the meantime, as per Augustus’s orders, it seems like I have to find a replacement for Kai…
PIETRO: That was certainly an unexpected surprise. I thought he would be pleased with his progress.
DARIUS: I’m beginning to think Augustus feels threaten, more so after I shared Kai’s recent achievements.
PIETRO: Did you sense something was off with him during the call?
DARIUS: Well, the Augustus I know would have had Kai killed if he wanted him out of the game, not fired.
PIETRO: And it’s strange that he was willing for this Tamara thing to take more time, as long as Kai was off the task.
DARIUS: (Teasing) Maybe he’s starting to like his hostage situation; Stockholm syndrome type of thing?
PIETRO: (Smirks) Perhaps… Regardless, both Kai and Katerina would have been excellent for the field battle; they have stamina, and are surely gifted in terms of the supernatural.  
DARIUS: I know. But there are plenty of fish in the sea. From what Veritas showed us with the Munich project, and the “gadgets I’ve been working on with Kai, soon we might have even stronger pawns to play around with.
PIETRO: Hey, I had a lot to do with the Munich project. I’m not letting him take all the credit! I led that project for years, set all the ground work, and the money.
DARIUS: Don’t be so defensive, my friend. We all know you did an excellent job. But, you have to give him some credit, Veritas is hardcore when it comes to discipline. As soon as he brought in the military, voilà!
PIETRO: (Snarky) His leading style borders on dictatorship, I prefer a motivational approach.
DARIUS: I’m with you on that. He sure as hell can scare the shit out of anyone into doing anything. Just ask Aletheia…
PIETRO: He is the oldest vampire in existence, and a psychic one, nonetheless; of course he can. I’m not ashamed to admit it; he has almost made me “piss my pants” once or twice.
DARIUS: I can say the same. You know, it’s truly fascinating that the so called “Originals” are oblivious to the fact about their true origins… I’m sure Veritas would have a blast with them, if they ever manage to figure it out.
PIETRO: Oh, I’m sure they will, if not for their wits, definitely once our plans unfold.
DARIUS: I call dibs on first row seats!
PIETRO: I want the full behind the scenes experience! (They laugh).
DARIUS: Well, I have to run now. I need to go fire my star employee and the Russian spy…
PIETRO: Good luck. We’ll talk soon.
Cut to – The Bamon home. The gang is in the “Batcave” planning their next move.
SAGE: (Starting to worry about Pietro’s retaliation for their escape). We are 100% sure this place can’t be found, right? I’m not very familiar with the witch stuff; or the vampire stuff for that matter; I’m a newbie.
BONNIE: Don’t worry, there is no way anyone can find it.
SAGE: Not even that Darius guy?
BONNIE: Especially not him.
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SAGE: Can’t they track your cellphones?
BONNIE: Not while the house is cloaked. Beauty of magic.
SAGE: This magic stuff is really cool!
BONNIE: You ain’t seen nothing yet… But, fair warning, it can get a little weird…
CAROLINE: (Teasing) Just a little? (They laugh)  Don’t worry, you are in good hands.
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SAGE: Sorry; freaked out for a moment… Pietro can be quite vicious when he’s angry, and I’m sure he’s fuming right about now.
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DAMON: Don’t be scared, Stefan and I got years on him. Now, back to the mission at hand. How are we going to break into this place without Kai?
STEFAN: What if we give our brother a taste of his own medicine? He can be our way in.
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DAMON: I love when your mind goes devious, brother. What exactly are you thinking of?
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STEFAN: There is an upside to having an Original vampire in town, and one who just happens to be in love with Bonnie’s mom… I’m betting he’ll do just about anything to get on your good side, Bon.  
BONNIE: Stefan, you are a genius! 
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And, he does owe me big time! But, let’s avoid the whole “being in love with Bonnie’s mom” thing; still freaks me out.
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STEFAN: Not another word on that, Bon.
DAMON: Ah, blackmail, deceit, and compulsion, my kind of tactics!
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BONNIE: I’ll call my mom to invite them over for dinner, then we’ll guilt trip them into their part of the plan.
SAGE: Bit lost again, what’s an Original vampire?
CAROLINE: Oh, Sage. There is so much for you to learn about the vamp world. Stick with us, and you’ll learn everything you need to know.
SAGE: That would be amazing! Been pretty much self-taught since I was turned, which was literally just weeks ago.
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CAROLINE: I know firsthand how important it is to have a mentor when you are new at this. We got your back.
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SAGE: Thank you, I’ll take all the help I can get.
CAROLINE: We’ll help you with the supernatural, you’ll help us with the Science; win, win. The sooner we get these guys, the sooner we can go back to our normal lives.
SAGE: Deal! To be honest, I was thinking about fleeing back to Germany the moment I got away from Pietro’s claws. Forget all this craziness and just return to being a student, with a new blood craving. But I think academia is pumped up to be more than it really is. What good are all the fancy titles without being on the battle ground? I’ve done my fair share of studying, it’s time I apply my knowledge for the common good, and this seems like the perfect cause to do so. Now that we know they are okay; I have no reason to go back. (Turns to Bonnie and Damon) Don’t panic, I’m not planning to stay here. As soon as we take care of this, I’m going back home to NYC; I really miss it.
BONNIE: (Smiles) We’re not panicking. And you can stay here for as long as you need.
CAROLINE: Okay, just so we are all aligned. We’ll get Klaus to compel Pietro, but how exactly are we going to get to Pietro? We can’t have Klaus show up at his house and be like: hello, I’m going to compel you now…
STEFAN: We’ll make sure he’s alone and lure him outside. Then Klaus, Damon and I, will take it from there. Three against one, should be a piece of cake.
DAMON: Sounds like a plan. Now, on to a crucial matter. (Turns to Bonnie) First time having my mother-in-law over for dinner, what should be the menu?
BONNIE: (Smirks) Whatever you want will be perfect.
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DAMON: How about Italian? Play it safe...
BONNIE: Ooh, gnocchi arrabbiata?
DAMON: Perfetto!
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CAROLINE: (Giddy) Aw, I love domestic Bamon!
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DAMON: Don’t think you are just going to stand and watch, you are all helping!
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The only one that gets a free pass is Bonnie, she has somewhere to go.
BONNIE: Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about that…
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CAROLINE: Bon, are you sure you don’t want one of us to come with you?
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BONNIE: I’m sure. Thank you, Care. I’m gonna head out now before it gets late. I won’t be long (kisses Damon). 
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I love you...
DAMON: I love you too. Head message me if you need anything.
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BONNIE: I will (she leaves).
STEFAN: (To Damon) Are you okay?
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DAMON: I’ll be fine when I know she’s fine…
CAROLINE: I still can’t believe he’s back! He better have a damn good explanation, otherwise I’m going to send him right back where he came from!
DAMON: You and me both, Blondie... 
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Alright, I need to keep my mind busy, so let’s get to work. Making gnocchi is a mission on its own!
 TVD 10x02 (part 2) coming soon. Hope you stop by, read, and enjoy! =)
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voidstilesplease · 3 years
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Fandom/s: Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus
Pairing/s: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Rachel Elizabeth Dare/Percy Jackson
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Tags: Alternate Universe - Mortal, Cheating, Friends to Lovers, Friends With Benefits, Jealousy, Angst, Bad Decisions, OOC Characters, a significant amount of Taylor Swift references
Chapter 3
But the possibility that Piper knows about it didn't cross her mind. Percy had mentioned being back in town for a few days now, but Piper could not have known that, right? If Piper did, she would have told Annabeth right away because if anybody knows about Annabeth's broken heart pining after Percy all these years, it's Piper. She would've said something.
III.
And soon enough, you're best friends.
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool.
/./
Annabeth jerks awake from disturbances originating in the general vicinity of her kitchen. In her half-asleep state, her usually sharp mind turns to a useless mush. So with what mentality she can grasp, she concludes that it's possibly just her cutlery deciding to worm their way out the drawer to skydive to the kitchen floor. Her dream-silly brain likes the image she conjures. After all, not everybody's cutlery would be as adventurous as hers if that should be the case.
Maybe they want to remind Annabeth that they still exist, and she can use them sometimes. Good point, she thinks, but between blueprints after blueprints shoved to her at work, she doesn't have the time to be guilty about using only one spoon for her morning mashed potatoes. Unless it can wash, wipe itself dry, and put itself back to the drawer, she's sticking to her one-spoon-morning routine, thank you very much - that's all she can spare the time to clean.
She squints one eye open and sighs in relief to find that her entire bedroom blanketed in the same comforting darkness that engulfed her to sleep the previous evening. Yesterday morning had been hell. The sun had glared at her accusingly like she had done something wrong by sleeping it through past her alarm after a murderous evening at work. Usually, Annabeth scares people away when she glares at them, so she tried to glare back at the sun, and if she didn't have a degree in architecture and a line of buildings credited to her name, she'd have doubted her own intellectual capacity. She had hauled her ass up from the bed and went about her routine like she'd swallowed an entire pack of Sour Patch in one go. That morning would have sucked completely if it weren't for Percy.
Percy. Who's back in town. For good.
Whom Annabeth is going to have dinner with this evening.
A smile automatically tugs at her lips. In her kitchen, something clatters again, and she sighs. She moves her head to peek up at the alarm clock on the table. It's only fifteen minutes past seven.
She groans.
Now she can hear the blender whirring to life and the unmistakable 'ding' of her toaster. Any sane person who is aware of not having a roommate should already be springing off their bed and grabbing the nearest weapon they can use to bonk the intruder's head.
But Annabeth is used to the intrusion - this is her life now. So, she calmly gets off the bed and folds her sheets. She opens the door to her room and walks the short distance to her kitchen. As the whirring continues, she remembers the first time she woke to the noises. Annabeth wishes she can say that she was calm then, but she wasn't.
She had jumped out of bed, heart drumming so fast in her chest, and took the only item she could find in her room that could bash anybody's brains out - a baseball bat. (She didn't like the sport. It was just a souvenir from a memorable day. Her heart belonged to swimming. Or, though it wasn't clear to her at the time, to a specific swimmer.) As stealthily as she could, she tiptoed on the cold floor to knock someone out who thought they could use her kitchen while robbing her blind.
As it turned out, she had almost bashed her friend Piper.
Piper, bless her, had been unfazed. Not even after seeing the raised baseball bat and Annabeth's wide, frantic eyes. Piper gave her an innocent smile and a chirpy good morning, then went back to chopping celery, ignoring Annabeth's confusion and gaping mouth.
Piper grins as soon as Annabeth appears in the kitchen. "Good morning, Annie!" she lowers the cup of coffee she's holding on the table in front of Annabeth, who immediately reaches for it.
"This smells amazing," Annabeth closes her eyes and inhales. It is why she loves having Piper around for breakfast. She doesn't remember when Piper decided to be her mother, but as long as it benefits Annabeth with cooked meals and non-Starbucks coffee, she's not complaining.
But she can't exactly complain about Starbucks coffee, though. Not when Starbucks brought Percy back to her life - sort of. She realized that if Piper had come yesterday, she'd have missed Percy. But the fates brought Piper to her apartment today so she could meet Percy yesterday. She smiles contentedly at her coffee.
Piper doesn't miss her dopey smile. She raises a brow, pouring the contents of the blender on a tall glass. "Is it that good?"
"No words," Annabeth answers with a silly grin.
Piper draws her eyebrows in suspicion, "Why do I feel like we're not talking about the coffee?"
Annabeth shrugs.
Piper narrows her eyes but lets it go. Knowing Annabeth, it's probably a work-related high. Piper sets her glass of smoothie on the table and sits beside her friend. "Hey, I remember," she says, taking her phone out and starts browsing. "Juniper asked me to show you these." Piper swipes image after image as Annabeth waits curiously. Finally, she passes the phone to Annabeth.
Annabeth takes it and promptly gasps. "Are these for the wedding?" She draws the phone closer to examine the picture. It's of a forest-painted canvas with a man and a woman in the center, holding each other's hands as they walk side-by-side in the middle of a flower-field surrounded by butterflies. Annabeth looks up to Piper for confirmation. When she nods, Annabeth shakes her head in amazement. "That is beautiful."
"I know!" Piper takes the phone from Annabeth, glancing at the picture again before putting it down on the table. "When Juniper sent the picture to me, my eyes goggled."
Annabeth chuckles, "Grover and Juniper commissioned the right artist."
Piper nods in agreement, "And they're even getting it for, like, half the usual price. I suddenly want to get married." She smiles dreamily, reaching for her smoothie.
Annabeth laughs. Jason and Piper have been together since they were in High School. To be fair, they are practically like a married couple - sharing an apartment, sharing bills, considering the possibility of sharing a dog. They've even met each other's parents and got one another's mother or father smitten with them. It's perfectly sensible if they decide to legalize it. With that in mind, Annabeth asks, "So why don't you?"
Piper stiffens, and she briefly averts her eyes before giving Annabeth a wan smile. "He hasn't asked me yet," she says softly, looking away from Annabeth, slurping half-heartedly at her vegetable smoothie.
Annabeth bites her lower lip, mentally reprimanding herself for her careless asking. She didn't mean to poke on touchy subjects. She didn't even know it was a touchy subject at all. "Well," she begins awkwardly. "I'm sure you'll get there anyway." Annabeth offers a smile, hoping to ease the sudden tension.
Piper shrugs, "I'm not in a hurry. Jason's it for me." she pauses, then adds with uncertainty, "I just hope I'm it for him."
Annabeth frowns at the statement. "Now that's ridiculous, Piper." She reaches to touch her friend's hand a bit forcefully. She looks her dead in the eyes and says in total assurance. "Jason's head over heels for you, okay, it's almost criminal that you think you're not it for him."
Piper lifts her eyes, a hint of smile ghosting in her pouting lips. "You think so?"
"You're an idiot for even doubting,"
That seems to alleviate Piper's insecurity, at least for the moment, because she smirks at Annabeth. "Yeah, I guess I'm an idiot. Of course, Jason can't get enough of me. I mean, come on."
Annabeth rolls her eyes. Piper's weird sometimes.
She happily slurps at her smoothie now, humming a chipper tune. She reaches for the plate of toasts and passes it to Annabeth along with a jar of strawberry jam. Annabeth just watches her with amusement.
They eat in silence for a moment before Annabeth hears a clearing of a throat. She looks up to see Piper looking at her intently. Of course, Piper didn't come into her apartment early in the morning just to accompany her to a lovely, peaceful breakfast.
"…Yes?" Annabeth prompts with resignation. If this is happening -and it is- because it's Piper's business now to harass Annabeth, she wants to get it over with sooner than later. She mentally prepares for the onslaught of Piper's usual intros. But, instead of saying "There's this spa that we should check out," or "Do you remember Mark Castillo from 10th grade? Did you see his Facebook status change to Single last night?" or "We should shop new underwears for you, Annie. What you have are boring me to death", she said:
"How's work?"
That certainly catches Annabeth off-guard. Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline.
At Annabeth's incredulous expression, Piper says defensively. "What?" she reaches for another toast. "Am I not allowed to ask about your work?"
"You're not interested in my work." Annabeth deadpans.
"I'm asking, aren't I?" Annabeth detects the unspoken 'duh'. "And I know a little about architecture, mind you. I just want to know how you're doing at work."
Annabeth hums unconvincingly, taking another sip of her coffee. She decides to ride along with it. "Well, for starters, I'm up to my neck busy. As always."
Piper nods for her to go on.
"We've contracted a new project for downtown."
Piper hums.
"It's nothing major, but the area is swarming with water pipes -many of which are old ones- so we have to be extra careful with the planning."
Piper nods, "But you aren't the only one working on it, right?"
"No. I have a team." Annabeth confirms.
"So," Piper stretches the 'o', studying the toast in her hand a little too casually. "That means that even if you weren't around, say you went out or something, a whole team is still gonna work on it?"
Annabeth narrows her eyes skeptically, "…I suppose. I'm not the project head." Annabeth answers slowly.
"So…" Piper looks away again, picking at the toast. "There's no reason to cancel Friday night, right?"
Annabeth purses her lips. She sets her cup on the saucer and folds her arms together, "I already said I would go."
Piper blushes crimson and gives up the innocent, interested-in-friend's-work scheme, "I just want to make sure!"
"I'm going, okay?" Annabeth huffs in mild exasperation. "And, if I ever go back on my promise, you have the permission to drag my ass over to the club."
"Deal," Piper quickly agrees. "Do we seal this oath with blood?"
Annabeth shakes her head as Piper starts laughing.
Piper is weird but a wonder. Annabeth is ever so thankful for having Piper as a friend. They have been friends since the 10th grade when the Cherokee girl transferred to Goode. They didn't particularly become friends instantaneously because she came around the school as Drew's half-sister.
Drew wasn't exactly Annabeth's favorite person on campus. She was a cheerleader who penned herself as the queen of Goode High, dated around, and clung to different guys when her grade couldn't even hang on to a C minus. And her face, always caked in make-up, always smiled condescendingly at everybody as if they were lesser beings. She made Annabeth want to punch something. Anything. Drew's annoying face would have been good enough.
When rumors scattered about Drew having a half-sister on campus, Annabeth was sure she'd be a clone of Drew, and Goode High was doomed. Frankly, their school had had enough mini-skirt, crop-top, belly-button girls who thought the ground they stepped on was sacred. Another one to add to them and Goode would have crumbled. After all, what else could they expect from somebody blood-related to Drew? Annabeth loathed her guts.
As it turned out, though, her half-sister hated Drew's guts just as much if not more. Literally.
She proved that during P.E. class in a volleyball game when she purposely spiked the ball straight towards Drew's midsection hard enough that Annabeth was surprised why Drew hadn't spewed her entire digestive system all over their gym court. Drew doubled over, wheezing in pain and yelling about how Piper tried to murder her. The teacher had to give Piper detention since the girl didn't deny the accusation and refused to apologize. When they took out Drew, who glowered at her sister the whole way out, Piper smirked at her unapologetically and waved her goodbye by flicking her fingers and blowing her a kiss.
Annabeth wanted to slow clap and pat her in the back for a job well done. She didn't need to anyway because the matching gleam in their eyes spoke enough for both of them. Piper and Annabeth became good friends, bonding over a mutual hatred of Drew. Then Piper started hanging out with Annabeth's group of friends, and the rest is history.
"You've got to be honest, though, Annie. You love it when I come by." She sips from her smoothie. "Because then, you won't have to eat packed mashed potatoes again."
"I love mashed potatoes," Annabeth says defensively, reaching for a toast and slathering it with strawberry jam.
"No, you don't." Piper also eats her toast with avocadoes. She gestures at Annabeth's food. "I hope you like strawberry jam."
"It's okay," Annabeth chews. It's decent enough, she thinks. Strawberry had been her favorite jam when she was younger, but that has changed now.
"I just thought maybe you should try a different flavor. All I ever see you have is blueberry. I figured maybe you miss your old favorite."
"I don't. Blueberry is everything to me."
Piper probably doesn't mean to sting Annabeth when she mutters, "Took you long enough to realize it, though."
But Annabeth is stung. And Piper is correct.
Blueberry is Percy's favorite. She had never appreciated it until Percy was gone from her life. She just one day found herself picking blueberry jam instead of strawberry at the grocery. Because, somehow, it made her feel closer to him. It was a futile act, but it was all she could cling to.
They ate in relative silence for a while before Annabeth remembers the conversation over the phone the previous day. It's time to question Piper about it. "Hey," she waits until Piper is looking at her. "You wanted to tell me something."
Piper's brows scrunch up.
"Yesterday," Annabeth clarifies. "Over the phone?"
Piper draws a blank.
Annabeth elaborates, "We were talking about Friday night, and I said yes to going, and then it's like you hesitated over something?"
Annabeth can tell when the realization hits. Piper's eyes widen a fraction. "Oh,"
Annabeth stares expectantly.
Piper looks down, breaking their eye contact, "It was nothing," she says with a small voice.
"You're lying."
Piper doesn't deny the accusation, but her eyes remain downcast.
"Piper, what are you keeping from me?" Annabeth asks, feeling that the playful air around them has been replaced by tension yet again. Piper bites her lower lip, only spurring Annabeth's curiosity. "Piper,"
"Annie, I'm sorry." Piper whispers. She raises her head to look at Annabeth with wide, desperate eyes.
"I can't accept your apology if I don't know what it is for," Annabeth's gaze doesn't leave Piper's. They look at each other - Annabeth urging and Piper trembling.
Finally, Piper sighs in defeat and quietly utters. "It's Percy."
Silence immediately follows Piper's statement. Because for the first time in many years, Piper openly mentions Percy's name in her presence.
Annabeth answers, trying to keep her voice level, "What about Percy?"
Piper gnaws at her lower lip, "I've wanted to tell you, but…"
"But?"
Like a dam breaking, Piper begins barraging. "I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this. I mean, yes, of course, I'm your best friend, but I'm his friend too. And after that-that," she wrings her hands. "I mean, he's been gone for so long, and maybe if I tell you, he's just going to disappear again. He never said anything about not telling you, but I - or, or maybe you're going to disappear this time and I - we can't have any of that, you know? Especially not now. So I decided to wait for the right time, but I don't know if there's ever a right time for anything, really-and, and,"
Piper is talking so fast that Annabeth struggles to catch up. "Piper, you're rambling."
"I know!" Piper whines in frustration. "And I hate to be turned into a blubbering fool, but I… but I want you to know that I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want either of you running away in different directions when the wedding's in a week!"
Annabeth grabs Piper's swinging arms. "Piper," she snaps to get her friend's attention and stop her from ranting anymore. "If you would just tell me-"
"He's in New York!"
It makes Annabeth pause. Well, she knows that. But the possibility that Piper knows about it didn't cross her mind. Percy had mentioned being back in town for a few days now, but Piper could not have known that, right? If Piper did, she would have told Annabeth right away because if anybody knows about Annabeth's broken heart pining after Percy all these years, it's Piper. She would've said something.
But Piper is in her kitchen with a guilt-stricken face. "How long have you known?"
Piper blinks, confused. "You don't sound surprised. Do you know he's back?"
Annabeth nods, "Only yesterday. We saw each other at Starbucks."
"Oh,"
"Piper, how long have you known that he's here?" Annabeth repeats her question, impatient to hear that Piper only actually found out the same day Annabeth did.
But Piper grimaces, hunching in her seat to make herself small. "Since he told Jason that he was coming home," she finally admits. She draws a shaky breath, hanging her head in guilt.
Something inside Annabeth collapses. She leans back in her seat in disbelief, "You all knew?"
Piper quickly shakes her head, "No, not all of us. Only Jason, Grover, and I." Annabeth almost sag in relief to know that she isn't the only one left in the dark about this. "None of us has seen Percy yet, though. He's been busy with the transfer of work location and settling in again. That's also why Friday night is important. He'd be there. For the first time in a long while, we'd be complete."
Annabeth is silent for a period, then nods weakly.
"Do you hate me?" Piper's voice hitches, and when Annabeth turns to her, her eyes are already brimming with tears.
She hates when Piper cries. God, it isn't even her fault that she knows. It isn't her fault that Percy told Jason and Grover, his best friends, and it isn't her fault that Jason told her. Annabeth knows Piper would rather not know. But now that she does, it's not her fault she wants to protect both Annabeth and Percy from each other. Not after what happened years ago between them.
Annabeth stands up and walks over to her friend, who is just about ready to explode. As soon as she opens her arms for Piper, her friend immediately melts into soft sobs. "I'm sorry, Annabeth. I didn't want to lie, but…" her voice catches again, and Annabeth rubs her back to soothe her. Piper must have felt bad about keeping the secret from her, knowing how important it is for Annabeth.
"I don't hate you, Piper. I can never hate you."
Piper sniffles, "I lied to you,"
"You kept a secret." Annabeth corrects. "That's hardly lying. And you did it for a good reason."
Piper pulls away from the hug to look at Annabeth, her eyes still misty from crying. "Thank you, Annie."
Despite herself, Annabeth smirks. "But you owe me a week of coffee and breakfast for this."
Piper laughs, and the heavy atmosphere around them dissipates completely.
/./ curt /./
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So I was working on the planning doc for yet another Fates/Awakening AU I’m going to/want to write, and I came up with something that I really liked and after a bit of looking into canon game lore/character stats, I have a Severa/Selena headcanon that I can’t stop thinking about and I will likely write another fic regarding it.
I’m gonna start explaining it now so hold tight because I have to talk about other stuff before I actually get to it (also this is going to be a very long post).
So first, before we can even talk about Severa/Selena (henceforth just called Severa for simplicity’s sake), we must talk about Cordelia. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you, but just in case, canonically Cordelia is seen as a natural/a “genius” in literally everything. You name it, and Cordelia can do it, and do it extremely well/perfectly (except running, since canonically apparently Cordelia sucks at running, which is why she became a Pegasus Knight).
Now moving on to Severa, obviously you probably know that Severa has self-esteem issues because of her mother being “perfect” in everything. i can’t remember where exactly, but I do believe in Awakening Severa has mentioned that others would always compare her to Cordelia, and that (and this next bit could just be me “filling in the gaps” so to speak) these other people would express disappointment or just make some sort of remark on how Severa doesn’t compare to her mother (again I am not 100% sure about any of this, I could be making all of this part up for all i know, but I am pretty positive this is said somewhere in Awakening). Even if the previous point is in fact not true and I made it up, I DO know that in her A support with her father in Awakening, she mentions how she is not as good as her mother in anything (and she assumes wrongly that her father must be disappointed in her because of that).
So naturally Severa is insecure about her skills/herself, and is always trying to prove that she is actually just as good as her mother. Canonically she has a competitive streak which is especially apparent in Fates, where she tries to challenge everyone to competitions, doesn’t matter in what, just to prove she is better. I do think though that she does have some sense of “self-preservation” as far as her ego and self-esteem, and by that I mean she wouldn’t challenge say, Azura to a singing competition or Inigo/Laslow to a dancing competition.
As a side note, apparently canonically Inigo/Laslow can actually sing pretty well too, because apparently Olivia, in addition to dance, also had some singing ability. So I theorize (though this is not the headcanon) that because Inigo/Laslow can dance well and to some extent sing well, growing up Severa may have never tested her dance and singing abilities.
My headcanon is that Severa did actually inherit a natural ability/“genius” ability in something from Cordelia, and that something is actually two things, singing and dancing.
To support this headcanon, I first want to look at her canonical stats. In both Awakening and Fates, she has a very high skill and speed stat (the speed isn’t as important to this though). The skill stat is associated with regular hit rate and critical hit rate. In Fire Emblem Three Houses, the skill stat is changed to dexterity. According to what I looked up on the online Merriam-Webster dictionary at 9:32pm US Central Time on May 19, 2021 (adding the date and time in case for some reason the definition changes in the future), the first definition for dexterity is “readiness and grace in physical activity: skill and ease in using the hands // manual dexterity.
So that first part of the definition is what I want to focus on. “Readiness and grace in physical skill”. So let’s call the skill stat in Fates/Awakening “dexterity” as it is in 3H. Given the definition above, and the fact that Severa has a very high dexterity (skill) stat in both Fates/Awakening, I think it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say that she would have a very good sense of spatial awareness, and by that I mean she has a good sense of the objects in her surroundings, she is very aware of her own body in “space” (like on an XYZ coordinate grid if you don’t understand), and she is very aware of her body in relation to other things in her environment.
I think this supports the idea that Severa could have inherited a natural/“genius” ability in dance.
The second part, that she could be really good at singing, is more based on lore. We know that Severa is prone to yelling. This is evidenced in the fact that if she has no S-support at the end of Awakening, her epilogue states that “Severa leaves on a journey, but occasionally returns to her parent's home to yell at them for ‘old times sake’“ (taken from her wiki May 19 2021). I also think it is safe to assume, given her canon “tsundere” personality, that she might yell a lot at other people too, and I can’t recall any specific times, but I’m pretty sure she yells at at least one person in her support options. Anyway, the reason that I bring all this up is because I think since she yells a lot, she would 1). Have good breath support, and 2). She would have learned over the years from yelling how to project her voice, so that she could be louder/have her voice carry and not put as much strain/effort into it. Again, and admittedly this is more based on what she does as a character, I think she could have inherited some natural/“genius” ability in singing.
Anyway, the reason I think she would not realize her ability in singing/dancing is again because of Inigo/Laslow, and the aforementioned possible “sense of self-preservation”. Since Inigo/Laslow was instructed in dance and likely singing from Olivia, Severa probably grew up watching Inigo/Laslow be good at this stuff, and likely (again in self-preservation) never attempted to find out if she was good at it herself in an effort to keep from damaging her ego/self-esteem. I like to think that if one day she asked Inigo/Laslow to tutor her in dance/singing, she would find that she is really good, and that if she practiced she would be on par with Azura in singing and Inigo/Laslow in dancing.
So yeah, that was really long, but that is my headcanon, that Severa actually did inherit some natural/“genius“ ability from her mother in singing and dancing, and that if she tried it/practiced it she would be really really good at both.
(I am totally making a (probably) multi-chap fic surrounding this headcanon)
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the way we barely got any noah/jonas/elizabeth content after the apocalypse is CRIMINAL and i will sue baran and jantje for making me think about them. give me their friendship i am BEGGING
Anon, you're a genius. I didn't even think about the fact that they would probably spend years as a trio! Oh god, I need to get all of those headcanons out before I forget them, so this will be long. Sorry to literally everyone else but this post is for Anon.
First off: All of the cute fluffy headcanons and fanfics that people project onto Elisabeth and Noah are definitely canon but  seconds after the screen fades to black Jonas comes bursting into the cave like "hEy guys! Guess who just got us some NukaCola or some shit?" like the dorkiest third wheel.
Jonas doesn't trust Noah at first. He wants to die and this guy just took away the only way to end it all. He doesn't care about all the pseudo-religious promises Noah makes to Elisabeth. He's over this. The only thing he can do now is to trust Claudia and build a way out of this mess. But he also has to survive somehow, especially when Claudia leaves for undetermined amounts of time. He may be clever and sly but having shelter in the caves beats sleepless nights in what's practically a giant graveyard now. So he also kinda has to trust Noah. Jonas slowly warms up to him while they work on the time travel portal. Jonas has to explain basic physics to Noah but he's a suprisingly fast learner and cracks jokes when he makes mistakes which remind Jonas awfully of Bartosz. When they are alone together Noah sometimes opens up about his dead mother and how insecure he is about having children and Jonas slowly lets on how much he misses his dad and that he still feels so much guilt. But Jonas finally lets himself fully trust Noah when he starts trying to quote vines to lift the mood but always ending up with something like "This bitch empty? Weed!" like an adorable grandpa.
Jonas obviously gets closer to Noah but Jonas and Elisabeth bond over their lost families and pop culture references. Jonas didn't have really time to mourn before his time in the cave and having someone to vent to who actually kind of knows what happened is probably the closest he's ever gotten to therapy after the apocalypse. So his and Elisabeths relationship would be a mixture of those sweet earnest moments and them allowing themselves to be vulnerable and Elisabeth relentlessy dunking on Jonas. When Jonas grows his first shitty ass looking moustache Noah asks him to please shave it off because Elisabeth won't stop talking shit about it. Jonas starts shaving on his own as he learns enough signlanguage (The first two things that Jonas learns in signlanguage are "fuck off" and "Fortnite".) to understand Elisabeths sick burns.
Oh god just imagine Jonas and Noah looking for ressources and telling Elisabeth to stay in the cave and Elisabeth obviously sneaking out anyway. And then the boys coming back with five berries total and Elisabeth grinning at them with a shitload of canned beans in her lap.        
Elisabeth is well established to be a little shit and young!Noah has that trademark "ain't I a shitty bitch?"-grin so you know they would be constantly teaming up to fuck with Jonas. Even after years and years they still prank this fucking nerd. Especially during Elisabeths pregnancy they fake Elisa going into labor and Noah telling Jonas to "get some water!" which is probably about 2km away so they can spend some quality time alone. And if there are two dubiously canon facts about Jonas, it is that a) he showers maybe once a year and b) he didn't get a single day of sex ed in school, so it works every goddamn time. When Claudia notices this, her reaction is be something akin to "lmao u dumb thot, get back to the power plant".
But don't worry, Jonas gets his fun too. When talking about the past he will casually make shit up about the 21st century. And because Noah has almost frame of reference, he eats this shit up. Like for example Jonas: "They had dinosaur parks in the USA for a short time." Noah: "What??" Jonas: "Oh you know, like in Jurassic Park? The movie?" Noah: "I have literally never heard of this before." Jonas: "It was just like that" Elisabeth, noticing there’s some scammy bullshit going on: Oh yeah, I remember my sister telling me about how she rode a stegosaurus once. So sad they closed them after one of the Kardashians fell into an enclosure.:(
I think something that doesn't get explored enough as well is Claudias relationship to those three. Noahs parents are dead, Jonas had only his mother left but she was on a quest to get laid and got killed by Adam and Elisabeth's mother isn't even born yet, so Claudia is probably the closest thing they have to a parental figure. And she does have a close relationship to Jonas, he shares her interest to learn astrophysics and shit to fix everything after all.But I think she would slowly warm up to the other two kids as well. Especially as Noah shares lots of similarities with Regina. And Elisabeth is but a baby child. Not that she would be overly motherly or protective but she'd make sure that none of those idiots would get killed or severely harmed and occaisonally bail them out of bad situations.
tl;dr friendship dynamic consisting of constantly changing periods of extreme vulnerability and hardcore dunking on each other to survive this post-apocalyptic world at least a little sane
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* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )
hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.
VIOLENCE TW
mini playlist.
ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.
statistics.
full name: gabriel de leon.
nickname(s): gabe.
birthday: october 31st, 1997.
zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.
label: the icarian.
hometown: belleville, new jersey.
sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).
pinterest.
biography.
it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.
his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.
they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3
bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.
they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.
she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.
when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.
got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.
during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.
violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //
he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3
bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.
anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!
personality & facts.
overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.
clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.
like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.
like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.
also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.
uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.
ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.
in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice
tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>
so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.
goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.
always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.
oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.
erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.
bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.
wanted plots.
just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG
hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.
just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.
n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.
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elskamo · 3 years
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How about a Genderswap AU where Duncan & Alejandro are both women?
I love the idea of having different AUs exploring how the contestants’ experiences have changed regarding their gender. While this sort of thing was an introduction for me to explore my own identity and project onto characters I know that there are other users on here that find this topic triggering so I’m gonna answer properly under the cut so they can skip this post if they wish to. I know the ask specified an AU where they’re both female but I felt like talking about other scenarios with different genders too. This answer only has female and FTM, I did attempt to write more but my answers were getting less character specific and more generic and you deserve a better response than that. For clarity in case you aren't already aware I'm answering this as someone who's AFAB and a transguy.
I’ve talked a lot about issues with toxic masculinity and struggles with identity expression for Duncan, I really should start talking about Alejandro and his identity more now that I’ve spent some time trying to figure out his character too. In alt universes where they aren’t cisgender males I feel like both of them would still face various problems regarding their identities and how they’re perceived:
For a start the way I envision Alejandro’s experience as a teen girl would be wildly different to the way he’s portrayed on the show as a teen boy, frankly if I could I would rewrite a lot of his character as a guy! It’s no secret that Alejandro was a Latin lover stereotype that used his looks and sexuality to his advantage during World Tour but I can barely see that happening in the regular canon, let alone as a woman. Alejandra (Google says this is the female version of the name, please correct me if I’m wrong or if you headcanon a different name) would struggle a lot with being sexualised for her looks and for being “exotic” and this would have a massive impact on her mental health and self-esteem. 
I feel like she’d be very uncomfortable around boys in general and wondering if they’re only trying to use her, I find it unlikely that she’d have many, if any, male friends. Her friendships with other girls would be few and far between, unfortunately there’s always going to be girls who judge you based on other’s reactions and the way guys act around her is fuel for bullies to use as slut shaming, regardless of how Alejandra truly is. That being said she’d form some very close, loving friendships with some of the girls who are able to recognise those toxic behaviours and help her feel more comfortable in her own skin even when everyone else is trying to either tear her down or fetishize her.
Duncan has always been very sore and sensitive about his reputation and I think that’s a trait that would still be present regardless of gender even if it manifests in different ways. In canon Duncan has brothers that he seems very close to and he appears to have a much better relationship with his mother than with his dad due to his delinquent status, I can see those relationships being more or less the same however the main conflict for Donna and her father would be due to him finding her too masculine. Rather than her inner struggle being between wanting to be perceived as a bad boy but having a hidden soft side, Donna would feel conflicted around how feminine she is.
She’d grow up with brothers and feel completely comfortable roughhousing and being seen as one of the guys but as she gets older and peer pressure becomes more prominent amongst girls her age she’d start worrying about how she’s viewed by her classmates. She’s torn between being upset that her male friends don’t see her as a girl but feeling unease about making herself appear more stereotypically feminine. As she gets older she’d gain more confidence in regard to being herself rather than trying to force others to view her as either a total tomboy or an over-the-top girly girl.
I can see Alejandra and Donna having major conflict with each other to begin with due to their vastly different experiences as women before gradually growing to accept their differences and helping each other to feel more confident and comfortable in themselves and around their peers.
If Alejandro were FTM I feel that he’d spend even more time working on his body in an attempt to appear more traditionally masculine, sometimes exercising to the point of exhaustion to try and achieve his ideal figure. He’d likely also be very conscious about his clothing, attempting to keep his surgery scars covered up at all times even if he was overheating. I can see him being more wary of relationships than in canon, wanting to take things more slowly and get a feel for how his potential partners may react to him and his body before letting things get physical.
FTM Duncan would almost certainly go to extremes given his behaviour in the canon show. He’d likely be very insecure about how much smaller he his than some of the other boys he’s friends with, especially in regard to his lack of muscle. I can see him trying to go stealth and doing unsafe practices like binding too long and too tightly despite how dangerous it is and likely to hurt him. It’s also pretty likely that he equates manliness with toughness and as a result he really tries to big up how much of a man he is by constantly picking fights and bullying any of the guys he thinks he can take on.
Alejandro and Duncan wouldn’t get on at first, with Duncan in particular always trying to goad Alejandro into fighting. When the two realise that the other is transgender they find themselves constantly checking up on each other, especially when they find out about some of their more unsafe behaviours. Upon getting closer and more comfortable they won’t hesitate to call each other out on Alejandro exhausting himself and Duncan’s bad binding practices.
I was going to write about gender nonconforming/genderfluid/nonbinary stuff but it was just getting far too generic to the point that you could sub in any character and it would make no difference. I’ve spent far too long answering this ask already so I’m gonna end it here and try and give myself some time to think about some of my other interpretations before I share them, you guys deserve a properly thought out response than a few token sentences.
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very-grownup · 3 years
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THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, PART 11
Episode 23.
Misato is going to be haunted by fuckin' Kaji forever and so am I. Fuckin' Kaji.
This appears to be the episode where I have to assume budget and deadlines were becoming intractable foes for Anno because there doesn't seem to be any easy way to paper over gaps and I spent the entire time feeling faintly like the experience was dissolving.
My grappling for understanding behind the cut.
Here's what I do know: Misato is so absorbed in listening to fuckin' Kaji's message in her office that Shinji and Penpen are left to their own devices, which are just being concerned about Misato.
Ritsuko talks to her grandmother about a dead cat.
Ritsuko's desktop background is an old photo of her, her mother, and Gendo Ikari, where her mother left room for Jesus between her and her daughter instead of her and Gendo (you'd need at least five Jesuses for protection from the hollow-eyed ghoul of insecurity and misery). I hate it.
Overcome with her sense of failure, Asuka's just broken into the class rep's home and has imposed the world's longest and worst sleepover on this poor normie girl. Asuka's just playing videogames, crying, and sleeping which ... yeah, fair. At night Asuka shares a bed with Hikari and curls on her side, far away and miserable, her face hidden, whispering about her failures and her hatred and her hatred of self. Hikari stares at the ceiling and can say nothing of substance because she is also a child.
The Obelisk Committee is back, interrogating Gendo to absolutely no end because you have to ask questions AND get answers to them for an interrogation to work and also when he gets notice that there's an Angel sighted he just nopes right out of there. Your interrogation is not going to be successful if the guy you are trying to pin to the wall can just go 'sorry I have to take this call' and flush the phone down the toilet while you watch.
This week's Angel is a giant hula hoop made out of light and x's which I feel probably puts it right in the middle of the cuteness scale. It's not horrifying to look at but it also doesn't have a cute little face. I miss the ones in the early episodes that had cute little faces.
The obelisks are determined to crush Gendo and suspect he isn't loyal to them which ... again, the obelisks make some good points.
The plan is for Rei to sniper the Angel with Asuka providing backup. Asuka feels terrible, miserable, and pointless about the whole thing because seriously it seems like no one has talked to her since last week when she was psychologically tortured by the Angel? I'm surprised Asuka's even there, in the robot, but I suppose habit is powerful.
Once the EVAs are deployed, the Angel turns into a long sticky laser snake which Rei tries to shoot with her giant robot sniper rifle. This is not effective and the Angel begins to burrow under the EVA's armour to the fleshy bits underneath and shit gets veiny.
In the NERV command centre someone talks about the Angel trying to make first psychological contact and you can't keep saying that, this is the fourth time AT LEAST we've seen an Angel try to do weird brain reading with one of the kids so this is at least fourth contact. We are all operating on the assumption the Angels are ... some kind of unified force or being or ... something, right? Like, they're all on the same ... side? Part of the same force? If they're all independent and unrelated monsters of the week, NERV makes even less sense.
So, so, so Rei's EVA gets veiny and Rei gets veiny and Asuka is given orders to provide backup and then when her EVA is on the surface she and it just ... stand. Asuka tries to make it move but nothing happens. Finally, NERV lowers the EVA elevator again.
Gendo remembers he has a son and Shinji is deployed in Asuka's place to rescue Rei from the veins and not only does Asuka have to deal with her failure to pilot the robot in this moment, but she's filled with sad jealousy that Shinji wasn't sent to help her last week. Oh, honey.
So the light tentacle snake is making the veins and probing Rei and her memories and the EVA and like with the other kids, Rei confronts herself. One Rei is waist deep in the orange tang of the sub sub sub basement ocean while the other Rei floats above the surface. Rei is lonely? Or, one Rei is lonely, while the other Rei tries to express that Rei is lonely because unlike Rei, who is surrounded by others, Rei is by herself. One Rei knows more than the other, one Rei emotes more than the other. I am confused. None of the Reis seem as distressed as Shinji or Asuka did when they were getting psychoanalyzed by an Angel, at least. There's a weird shot that's just on one of the Rei's mouths, smiling and getting distended and wavey and also a Rei has a vision of smiling, glasses-free Gendo. Rei in the EVA comes back to herself when she realizes she's crying but the Angel is still doing its vein attack and all that pulsating Akira flesh starts happening and the light snake shoots out to Shinji, which is bad. There's more pulsating Akira flesh, just overflowing masses of veins bursting up and above the EVA, trying to shape something, the torso of Rei's EVA bulges out into, like, an armoured pocketed dome ball, which seems bad.
Then the light snake attacking Shinji turns into a giant naked Rei with a strange nightmare face who tries to make out with the EVA even though thankfully we at least have been spared horrible human lips to go with the horrible human teeth and fingers we know are in it.
Rei is like, do I want to become one with Shinji so I'm not lonely anymore? Is that what laser snake is trying to tell me and I just don't even know where to begin with all of this, where are you even getting this stuff Rei?
Rei realizes that letting the Angel snake made of light that looks like a giant her make out with Shinji's EVA is not the answer to her existential crisis and exerts her will over it or ... something? I don't know, she makes it like a rubber band that's suddenly reached its end. SNAP goes the light tether between giant naked Rei and Rei's EVA and it whips away from Shinji and the nightmare Rei's light face looks upset by these developments before it's like SCHWOOM back into the EVA ... ... and all the pulsating flesh becomes unpulsating and the dome stomach bits get popped like each segment of the dome is a bubble wrap bubble and then Rei blows herself and the EVA and I guess also the Angel up and I guess it's more effective than guns.
The obelisks want to interrogate someone, Gendo and Number 2 are already dealing with the fact that Rei is dead and just have some really weird conversation in front of machinery about how Rei is all of Number 2's sins and all of Gendo's hopes or ... or something? The obelisks go through a powerpoint of all the Angels defeated so far and I GUESS the kids have been fighting Angels that are all listed in the Dead Sea Scrolls and according to the Dead Sea Scrolls there's only one Angel left which, sure, we're on episode 23 of 26.
Shinji's lying on his bed not listening to music (music is playing but he doesn't have the headphones in) and Misato comes in to try and talk to him about how Rei killed herself to save Shinji. Shinji talks about sadness that's so intense even when tears can't come ... There's no time in this episode to dwell on this honest, awkward little pebble of grief, though. Misato tries to take Shinji's hand to comfort him but that isn't what he needs, he just wants to be alone and rejects Misato's overture.
Misato wonders about whether Shinji has a fear of women (what?) or intimacy (huh?) but when even Penpen refuses to be company for her, she realizes maybe she was projecting her own issues onto Shinji which hey, good catch, Misato! You and Shinji are similar but not the same.
ANYWAY NO TIME FOR THAT BECAUSE REI IS DEFINITELY MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE AND NOT DEAD even though Ritsuko and a bunch of dudes in HAZMAT suits were going over the spot where the EVA blew up and Ritsuko found something that had her going WELL THIS IS SOME X-FILES SHIT.
Shinji goes to see Rei at the hospital where she is bandaged all to hell and staring vaguely at nothing in the hall and he tries to thank her for her exploding sacrifice on his behalf. Rei basically says you're welcome but I have no idea what you're talking about. Shinji doesn't make much headway in expressing his gratitude further because Rei just straight up says I probably don't know what you're talking about because I'm the third Rei. Just straight up 'oh if I seem weird it's probably because I'm clones'.
It's not that Rei is clones that is surprising, it's just the total nonchalance with which Rei drops 'I guess I'm clones' on Shinji.
SO ANYWAY THE OBELISKS ARE INTERROGATING A NAKED RITSUKO BECAUSE GENDO WON'T LET THEM INTERROGATE REI AND HE'S JUST LIKE HEY THIS SCIENTIST WILL SPEAK ON HER BEHALF AND ALSO SHE'S NAKED but who knows who had the bright idea of naked interrogation. Maybe it was Ritsuko. Say a brief, silent prayer of thanks that there's no naked Gendo interrogation because if there is one thing I have learned so far in Evangelion, it's that the more of Gendo I can see, the more distressed I am.
I DON'T EVEN ENTIRELY KNOW WHAT THE OBELISKS ARE ASKING RITSUKO ABOUT.
Rei goes to her apartment and removes all her bandages and she's fine because she's clones so sure, all the bandages were for show. This Rei sees Gendo's old glasses and picks them up and starts to try and crush them in her hands but also she's crying? Reis is conflicted?
Misato's found a datachip that fuckin' Kaji hid in a pill and she's listening to another recording which is maybe all the stuff he learned while spying on NERV I don't know I don't know I don't know anything at this point.
Ritsuko calls Shinji and tells him he's temporarily not being monitored so he ... look, narrative cohesion and scene transitions are a thing of the past, we don't even have glue between disconnected bits anymore. RITSUKO TALKS TO SHINJI ON THE PHONE.
Then Ritsuko is ... somewhere ... work ... I DON'T KNOW MISATO IS BEHIND HER WITH A GUN AND THEN RITSUKO'S LIKE OKAY I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING BUT SHINJI IS HERE SO WE HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM TOO and it's like just flip on the lights in this one spot and bam there's Shinji NO TIME. ELEVATOR. DOWN DOWN DOWN. DOWN DOWN DOWN. THIS SUBBASEMENT LOOKS LIKE REI'S APARTMENT. BECAUSE IT IS REI'S APARTMENT. WATER MEMORIES. LOOK THIS ISN'T WHAT MISATO IS HERE FOR, MISATO IS HERE FOR THE GIANT SEPHIROTH AND KABALLAH AND CROSS HOLLOWS FULL OF GIANT BONES. EVA skulls and bones and Ritsuko's just like yeah those are all the prototypes from ten years ago that didn't become murder robots piloted by teens we just keep them in these religious pattern caves to form the basis for some real gothy jigsaw puzzles. Oh PS Shinji if you find it familiar it's because you've been here before even if you don't remember it this is where the experiments that kill disappeared your mother went down. NO TIME FOR ANYONE TO REACT TO THIS.
LOOK I'M SURE IF YOU'RE FOLLOWING THIS AND YOU KNOW THE SERIES YOU ARE LIKE RITSUKO AND ARE LIKE GET ON WITH IT JUST GET US TO THE CHAMBER WHICH RITSUKO SAYS IS WHERE THE DUMMY PLUGS ARE MADE AND THEN SHE TURNS ON THE LIGHTS AND WELCOME TO THE NIGHTMARE AQUARIUM. THE ONLY EXHIBIT IN THE NIGHTMARE AQUARIUM ARE REI CLONES SMILING AND GIGGLING AT YOU FROM THEIR ORANGE TANG HABITAT. Ritsuko says the captive Reis have no souls, they're just vacant flesh in the shape of a human, there's only one Rei /personality/ which is the first Rei and I guess when she dies they take another one out of the tank and she becomes the Rei with the soul I DON'T KNOW. Ritsuko hates the Reis not because they are the result of some human science meddling in things they cannot understand or control but because somehow the existence of the Reis mean ... Gendo doesn't need her?
BECAUSE RITSUKO, LIKE HER MOTHER BEFORE HER, ALSO WANTS TO BONE DOWN ON THE MAN WHO IS HATE'S SKELETON, WITH MARROW OF PARENTAL NEGLIGENCE, AND A BLACKHOLE SUCKING HIS FLESH ILLUSION EVER INWARDS TO DARKNESS.
NOW IT IS TIME FOR RITSUKO TO TURN OFF THE TANG AQUARIUM LIFE SUPPORT AND ALL THE GIGGLING REIS BEGIN TO BREAK APART, GIGGLING AS THEIR LIMBS SEPARATE AND THEIR ENTRAILS SPILL OUT AND ALL IS DARKNESS BUT THEY'RE STILL GIGGLING AND HOW ARE ANY OF US SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THIS?! Oh, and the obelisks' plan for the destruction of Tokyo-3 is proceeding on schedule WHAT WAIT WHAT I THOUGHT WE WERE TRYING TO PROTECT TOKYO-3 no wonder Misato drinks. No wonder /you/ drink. This concludes my report on Episode 23 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Edit: the obelisks talk about having lost the spear of Longinus. It's on the moon, obelisks. You're welcome.
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