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obscurelistening · 6 years

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2017, a year review

‘There was no touching, no love.’

I’d been meaning to write on here for a while, in some sort of ‘nourishing cleanse’, and for someone that rarely reads as I ought to, this quote sprang to mind. It’s from Ian McWean’s Child in Time, and even while I thought it was kind of relevant to this year, before I’d even thought about what I wanted to say, I had to google it to see if I’d remembered it correctly.

‘Now there was no mutual consolation, no touching, no love. Their old intimacy, their habitual assumption that they were on the same side, was dead.’

When I read that, the actual quote, it seemed to strike a chord with events off this year.

In one year, so much feeling, emotion, hunger, passion, and ‘finalisation’ happened, something I never could’ve imagined it being the case when I was back in 2016. But before delving into so much soulful splendour, I can’t forget where things were going heading into 2017.

I didn’t have many ‘drastic’ goals or anything crazy. I knew I had this crazy idea in my head of celebrating my 21st on a beach somewhere off a Thai Island, downing cocktails with my mates, and returning home with a glistening beach body. I knew that I just wanted to be happy with how I looked and how my body felt. Relationships, I was really excited by the prospect of moving forward and potentially finding someone, but who knows, who cares. Scrolling through my old Tumblr posts, I was clearly very concerned about the state of my body, how big I felt I was, and how much I really hated it.

‘Death and all his friends’ - Coldplay

I consider myself fairly lucky in life. I made it to the age of 20, and didn’t have to witness any significant deaths of family or friends. That, life is a gift within itself. Towards the end of last year, in 2016, was my godfather, and I won’t say much on that because I don’t feel like I could write words that would do him justice enough, compared to the people that have been truly impacted by his passing, but with Aidan, I feel I have more of that privilege. Someone who you grow up with undoubtedly shapes your life in ways you don’t even realise. And that’s exactly, who Aidan was. He was, for much of my life, a best friend. Drawn out of the sand of a broken up friendship group in primary school, Aidan emerged as the guy, caring and crazy enough to just about take my role as best friend.

I can remember the state of play before Aidan. Aidan came to my primary school later than the others, when we were older, slightly more cohesive snot bags running around screaming. Jack had always been my best friend before Aidan. Aidan was best friends with Gerrard, and Jack was mine. Adam appeared in the interim between the two, he was a friend, but we saw him as ‘weaker’ and abused that.

The weird thing, looking back on my relationship with Jack, was that it was more ‘intimate’. Now, as a kid, there was no sexual desire, or lust, or even a drive to explore sexually with each other. You’re not capable of that at that age, but we used to cuddle in bed, and do equally as intimate things. It was a very weird friendship, but so sweetly close, so sweetly close. And the odd thing about it, was, I remember, before understanding or realising that we’re all capable of love, was that in an odd way I had some sort of ‘love’ for him. When we ceased to be friends, I remember yearning for that. We were incredibly close in such a weird, intimate way.

With Aidan, that wasn’t the case. I can remember how the new friendship groups formed. I mean at the end of the day, we’re a bunch of young kids, who change friends and social patterns / circles continually.

As time was progressing, the social circles were flipping. Jack was becoming best friends with Gerrard, and that put Aidan and I in awkward position. We were both loosing our best friends. So we had to adapt and ‘survive’. Truth is, I never cared for Aidan much at the beginning. I used to love running around being crazy as a kid. But even as a kid I was quite placid in some respects. Jack had this sort of understated placid-ness that meant we both got on so well and were on similar wavelengths. Aidan was never like that. He was mad, all the time. He never stopped. And that took some time to get used to. But over a few years, we were best friends. Jack was gone. Bye. Aidan was now top of the friend chain list. He was my number one, and remained in that position for a number of years.

Those years, mostly faded to insignificance though. The years I remember the most, the best were the years of young teenage hood, and entering puberty. Which happened scarily early for me. I can’t really dispute how idealised my childhood and early teenage years were - I used to bike to my best friends house in the summer, and we would ride around his village until late at night, and then sleep over at his house. What could have been more fun that as a kid? That was great, and an overarching theme of our friendship.

In-between that we had his parents. The most friendly bunch you would probably see. We took so many trips away around the UK with Aidan’s parents. That was pretty cool, and sweet, something most parents wouldn’t even stop to consider doing for their kids and their friends.

Then, he just had to move to a more remote village 10 miles away didn’t he? The goalposts were pushed, but by that time, so were other things in our relationship. We still hung out, and did the normal things. But we were becoming teenage boys, our voices deepening, growing taller and slender. But along with growing up, our sexualities began to develop. Aidan forms the foundation of my sexual development as an adolescent. How weird is it looking back on that now?

What I still find crazy and perplexing to this day, is how all of this developed suddenly from the ground up. I mean, we must’ve been pretty young at this point, no older than 14. I’d been masturbating since I was 11 and had my own laptop. Porn and self-pleasure certainly weren’t alien topics to me. I guess that’s pretty normal for any teenage boy. You might not start at 11 like I did (which was all completely my own doing and self discovery), but I challenge you to find one guy that hasn’t watched porn or masturbated before they’re 16.

Except, things were a bit different for me, and I soon began to realise I was a bit different. Not only had my sexual development started, I realised I wasn’t watching the kind of online porn that most guys would watch. I was watching gay porn. Literally from the start. There was none of this going to straight porn first, or just focussing on the guy. I went straight in for the gay porn, and to be honest, while I found it weird, I knew I was loving it straight away.

But out from that grew a desire to experiment. As I was becoming a sexual being, I wanted to share that with someone. Reading stories of circle, jerks, and guys beating each other sent me going wild. For a highly sexualised young teenager this was crazy good stuff.

Now, with Aidan, like most teenage boys, when I was over we would often go on video chatrooms and like together, and of course, there would be, a lot of dicks. I remember one time this guy (who looked about 18) asked if he wanted to see him suck his own penis. We both looked horrified at each other, and then said yes. The guy started to take off his pants, before I clicked the ‘next cam’ button.

Hmmm interesting, something had certainly piqued Aidan’s interest there.

For Christmas one year, I received an iPod Touch. I found a ‘spin the bottle’ app on there, which we decided to use to play truth or dare. This was with another friend, who was far less exploitative or ‘crazy’ than Aidan in every aspect anyway.

The dares were fairly normal for the most part, but sometimes sexually funny. For example, strip off and run outside somewhere. Now we weren’t quite crazy enough for that, but walking down the stairs of his house naked, or mooning, weren’t out of the question. But I wanted to push things further, I liked where this was slowly heading. I continued to search for other apps, eventually finding one where you could input your own dares. I started off lightly. Things like exposing your penis and getting hard, or giving your friend a reach around. It involved touching, but that was about it.

About this time though, the other friend lost interesting the newly sexual element of the dares, but for Aidan and I, the sexual element seemed to grow. So what did we do? We started to have sleepovers without the other friend. Just the two of us. Sometime between that time, dares grew to playing with the other person for a number of minutes, and not just seconds. And so too did the tasks, oral sex became the norm, as did extended hand jobs, dry humping, and even one a couple of occasions, penetration, but never full on sex.

Oddly, no kissing was ever involved, it purely revolved around the sexual aspect. And this included, sometimes playing outside. At first, it was very awkward when we came, he became very awkward, sheepish, withdrawn and shy, and would often exclaim that it wasn’t going to happen again. I got very weird feelings in my stomach, and used to start feeling incredibly guilty and begin thinking about ‘god’. Looking back on it, there was nothing wrong with what we did, it was nothing more than the intense ‘programming’ that you receive from society about not playing with other guys. To top it off, I had a belief in God then, and Aidan was very religious (his house backed onto a church, and his mum was a warden for it!).

Eventually, that began to decrease as we aged, the ‘I’m never doing that again rhetoric’ depleted, and we began to discuss what was happening ‘Have you ever done this with anyone else? ‘Do any of your friends know’ ‘are you gay or straight’ ‘No, no, I’m straight’ were always the answer to those and similar questions.

For me, it really was a crazy moment. I’d literally fantasised about playing this sexual games with my friends, and here I was, it was happening right in front of me before my eyes.

Except there was one glaring change that threatened it all. Girls. Before we’d began to properly have fun, Aidan had been seeing a girl, Bryony or something weird like that. And that all ended. Who knows it was a ‘teenage’ thing. We were very young, and relationships didn’t last long back then. By the time I was 14, I’d ‘dated’ a few girls. Tracey, Jo, Lana, and others, but nothing had happened and I’d never felt as sexual.

But then something changed, I introduced Aidan to this girl that was a friend of a friend of mine, and they quickly started dating, and when I say they started dating, I mean properly. Within a couple of months they were a couple. And not just a pseudo-teenage couple, they properly fell in love. They were together for at least four years. Meeting at around the age of 14, and continuing right through to the time we were in uni together.

That was the end of our fun. And I slowly saw Aidan less and less, we’d still hang out as a group of friends occasionally, and I’d go to birthday parties and the like. But the main closeness and sexual exploration was over. For the most part, I was cool with that. I’d experimented on another guy, and lost my full virginity to a guy at 15. I was happy I still got to be friends with him, and sparing some awkward moments where his girlfriend made jokes about us ‘getting freaky’ and us looking sheepish and awkward at each other, it was all good.

The last proper time I hung out with Aidan was at my school prom. We went to different high schools, but because he was going out with a girl from my school, it meant he got to go to the prom. That was actually an incredibly fun night, and Aidan was as crazy as ever.

But then it was off to uni. We both had busy summers. I was doing music courses, going on family holidays, and away with mates I went to school with. Aidan was doing similar things and spending time with his girlfriend and church friends. We’d made it to 18, and never spoken once about the our ‘intimate’ growing up.

There were only a couple of times I saw him after that. Once, when he came to my uni town for a rugby game, with a mate from his uni. We spent an hour or two together with the mate and made some food, and the second was at a gathering for his girlfriend around that Christmas.

Those were to be the last occasions I ever saw him.

I think like most, it’s quite difficult to stay in contact with your home friends while at uni. Aidan and I had experienced years of not properly hanging out or seeing each other frequently since our relationships with school friends grew, and he had a relationship. I tried to keep that relationship going, inviting him to my 19th birthday for example, but he couldn’t come as he was feeling ‘heavily depressed’. This was something I thought he’d slowly worked through and gotten over, but apparently not.

Depression seemed to be a weird underlying current within their family. While I’m not sure about his parents, his sister for sure had suffered depression for a number of years when she was younger, I remember walking into their house, her with bouts of tears, and with Aidan telling me about his sisters previous suicide attempts. For the most part though, as she grew older, her mental health improved. I never spoken to Aidan in detail about his sisters mental health. I never felt it was my place. But I guess, I should’ve focussed more on Aidan in that time. If I could’ve done my part to prevent his passing, just by talking to him, then I would have done. Not that I in one way feb responsible or guilty for his passing.

26th of April

Then we skip forward to this year. 2017. A year and a bit later. It should be a normal day, I’m sat on my computer, finishing off some uni work, and lie everything that happens in the 21st century. There’s no phone call or text, but an inbox message waiting from Lana, and as I flick my trackpad down a couple of times, there it is. A stream of messages writing condolences on Aidan’s wall. I couldn’t believe my eyes. And tears were streaming and streaming. That was it, the news had hit. And that was it, a few weeks later I was sat at his funeral, with Lana and other friends. Touching his beautifully Aidan coffin at his funeral, and saying goodbye for the final time.

I find it so sad that he felt the need to end his life, but I didn’t know him well enough in his later years to speculate or realise just how he’d been feeling. What I’d really looked forward to and wished one day, was that we would finally talk about and laugh over our childhood, talking about all of the crazy things that had happened, girlfriends, our sexualities and the stupid and sexual things we did as a kid. Part of me for a long time, after it happened and now, leaves me wondering his sexuality. Was he bi, curious, gay? I don’t think he was gay, loads of guys mess around with their peers and aren’t gay. But then you have the other friend, who wasn’t even slightly interested in the things that we were doing and the games that we would play. Was that a fairer representation of what heterosexuality is?

I’ll never know. I hope wherever you are now, that you’re at peace with whatever meant you couldn’t keep going in this world. You were always a great friend to me.

Pure unadulterated debauchery

In many ways, the closing moments of 2016 were a precursor to some of the larger themes that would filter my life this year. Sure, there were the expected elements like finishing a degree, but something I’d never imagined would have taken an interesting turn in my life would be exploring what it is to have such liberated, free sex.

At the end of 2016, my interest in perverse kinky sex came to a head, when I attended a fetish new years party, covered in nothing over than a rubber t shirt and a jockstrap. Some boots and rugby socks also permitted.

I’d never imagined it would become such an important or kinky theme to my sex life. What spouted out as a failed threesome from a guy whose housemates went home, turned into kinky sex with a perverse young lad my age in my uni town. Little did I know his influence for me to install a ‘kinky’ app, would have me meeting so many amazing and colourful people.

This app was like no, grindr or any other app I had used. The way it worked meant conversation was rarely geared towards instant hooking up, it was about building a connection with that person and discovering their interests before agreeing to meet. And perhaps even then, you wouldn’t even meet for sex.

See, grindr is selling sex. While I’ve had so much more come out of grindr than just simply sex. It’s introduced me to friends, brought interesting experiences, and amazingly sad experiences, it’s main role is to get you sex. And this is it’s problem, it’s selling sex. But with this fetish app, it’s selling you a community, a lifestyle, and friendly people that share your interest and yearning to do something different in the bedroom.

Compared to some of the people I’ve met, I’ve never been as ‘mad on it’. Partially that’s because in my uni city you can’t be. When you live with a bunch of people that have little to no understanding of how perverse your sex life can be, and there aren’t a lot of people around you that are into donning rubber, and tying each other up, there isn’t a lot you can do to explore that field.

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a little fun... While attending a kink/fetish new years party hosted by the app was an incredibly fun experience, I never anticipated that I would be spontaneously booking a train ticket and hotel to Manchester to continue with the kinky fun in April at another event.

And that wasn’t the only one, there was a whole week of Fetish play in London that summer. Probably one of the most exhausting, challenging and rewarding weeks I’ve had.

London Fetish Week, was, for the most part a bit mad. It was crazy good fun, and I got to meet a lot of lovely kinky guys, and make plenty of friends. This of course continued right the way through to the very end of this year, where just a few days ago, where in between some club-come railway arches, I was partying the night away in rubber, and entering rooms lit with smoke to enhance ‘sensory experiences’. I won’t delve too much further. Let’s just say it was a fun night.

While I hadn’t planned on any of this really happening, what is more surprising to me is the number of people I’ve introduced to my rubber, and got them intrigued / talking about it. Something that could only have happened with me being more open about it.

From wearing it in a hookup, putting it on for my best friend, or showing a guy I used to have a crush on how I liked to play in the bedroom, I feel like I’ve opened or widened their eyes. Sex doesn’t just have to be vanilla. And while I love both, the annoying thing is, it’s left me massively questioning now if I could ever enter a relationship with a partner that wasn’t as kinky as I, or at least didn’t understand it.

I don’t think it would matter too much in the short term. But in the longer term, when the ‘honeymoon period’ is settled, and I’m longing to don some rubber and have a dirty sweaty fuck, then who would be there to help me with it? I’d be trapped. In a weird way, I’m hoping it will be one of the problems I face in 2018. In a strange way, it would be nice to meet someone that I’m either going to have this dilemma with. I know it’s a weird thing to say, but it would be quite nice to finally have someone I’m left wanting to share more of myself with.

‘My son’s not a queer!’ - Dad

I need not rewrite about my life as a non open male. I’ve known for years now that I was different, that I wasn’t straight. And in the process, as time has gone on I’ve questioned more and more what my ‘true’ nature is. I’ve always preferred claiming I was bisexual. It allowed me to have a fundamental connection with ‘the boys’. After all we’re all sexual beings, commenting on girls tits, ‘god what a cracker’, is supposed to be something ‘all guys’ are capable of, and it brings us together. But at the same time, most of the time that just isn’t me. I’ve been left confused - brief moments of intimacy with women (especially compared to my track record with guys), leaves me briefly wondering. But also, massively panicking. Often when I come close to a girl I’m left in a panicky messy sweat. I kid you not, when I say this summer that I started getting off with a lovely girl that I knew, she obviously wanted it to to go further. The friend I was out with also pulled. So what did I do? Panic, claim I need to go back to my friends place place, then go home, get on grindr and have a gay friend over to comfort me and spoon me. He literally had to hug me and tell me to relax and stop worrying about it, because I was shaken with anxiety over it.

When you make it to 21, and you’re still not sure if you’re even enjoying kissing girls, then you know you have a problem. I know I should be completely aware of what my sexuality is. I’ve known I’ve not been straight for far too long, but just some certainty on if I’m gay, or bisexual would be nice. While I know that maybe those labels don’t actually work the best, it at least allows me to quantify it to myself and explain it to other people.

I’ve had my moments where I’m left doubting myself, but this year, I’ve enjoyed the most snippets of straight and bisexual porn than I ever have. The ‘fear’ of a vagina has diminished, and I don’t feel ‘repulsed’ by it, like I often did during university. But then I suppose my sexuality has always changed, and had its fluid moments. Before getting to experiment with a girl in my teenage years, there was the time when I must’ve been about 14, and my piano teacher was wearing panties. While I was sat behind her waiting for her previous pupil to finish her lesson, I remember being drawn and unable to take my eyes off her back and her panties. Then more recently, there’s the fact that I’ve been enjoying more ‘straight porn’ than ever before. For once the idea of being a ‘hot guy’ (well maybe not right now) and having sex with an attractive girl kinda actually seems pretty damn appealing to me.

Okay, so that’s the first bit of ‘reasoning’ I’ve had to try and explain or quantify my sexuality, but what about the other people I know?

What is bisexual?

If I’ve realised anything this year, it’s that when it comes to sexuality, it’s never fucking clear. But one thing I’ve really quantified is the number of people around me, that really aren’t actually completely straight. Take my old housemates for example, if you include me, there are three ‘open bisexuals’, two girls that have experimented with other girls and wouldn't say they were ‘completely straight’, a guy that’s definitely playing with guys and girls but in the closet, a girl that’s basically a saint having never done with anyone, but said she would never rule out sexual relations with another girl. And 2 others that I’ve no reason to believe they’re anything other than straight.

Then take my current house, a house of 6 guys (7 accounting for the one that moved out this year), we have a guy that’s clearly struggling dealing with sexuality and his desires pertaining to experimenting with other guys, one that gets touchy feely and weirdly defensive about other guys touching him when he’s drunk (plus he’s camp and a bit girly), and one that likes to grope me every single time we’re both drunk on a night out. That leaves half of the house to be ‘straight’. So out of 14 people I’ve lived with during university, we have 9 people that aren’t ‘straight’. Does this mean, as I’ve suspected as I became older, that since the Greek and Roman eras, us humans have actually just been fascinatingly brilliant at oppressing our natural sexuality? I think deep down, we’re actually all just a bit gay. But I think there’s more to it than that...

So this gay thing then?

We all know what gay is. I’m not defining gay here. I don’t even think, like I toiled over before with the whole fluid sexuality and people being bi or not completely straight, is necessary, the question is, am I gay? Is my overarching sexuality, being drawn towards men? What does that mean if I’m not bi?

Well, if I’m honest, look at who I am. On a day to day basis, I don’t think it changes much. Like I’m so scared of uttering those words ‘I’m gay’, that being ‘bi’ like so many gay guys, has been the default go to option. But me saying I’m gay does a coupe of things. I don’t have to worry about kissing girls and getting awkward about it. I mean, it makes it ‘harder’ for me to start getting with girls, but how often am I kissing girls? My day to day lifestyle doesn't change. I’m still gonna be living on grindr, swiping guys on tinder, for the most part watching gay porn, and being the ultimate gay and going to fetish events up and down the country, who knows maybe even abroad. So what’s so different about me uttering the words I’m gay?

Looking at London Pride this year. That was a fantastic experience. If there’s one way to live London, it’s to do it by living within walking distance to a tube station. I love that i’m so close to London at home, yet so far at the same time. If I could walk to a tube, I’d have the endless possibilities of one of the most amazing places in the world.

But more importantly, London pride unlocked something in me that was always really there. The ability to go mega camp, and strut my stuff. Every time I’ve done London pride I’ve loved it for different reasons. Whether the first time I went it was ogling hot guys, and then when my soon to be boyfriend turned up, having the most romantic time making out with him in public to crowds cheering, or this year, becoming the campest I think I’ve ever been with friends, enjoying London’s nightlife, and then later realising and loving how natural it felt to be that camp all the time. Was great.

On balance, being camp doesn’t make me gay. And I could still be that camp as a ‘bisexual’ man, or less likely, a ‘straight’ guy, and while I loved heavily camping it up like that, I don’t think that is my day to do me, and I’m not sure I would want to live like that all of the time. But then, why would I? I’m the person that want’s to cling onto bisexuality so that I can talk about ‘tits with the lads’. At the end of the day, I still panic massively when getting with a girl.

Is there more to this not liking girls thing?

Being scared when a girl approaches or is into me, has posed some problems, mostly making me anxious, and knowing theres no way in hell I could perform. I know in my mind I have some very strange conceptions, about women that I can’t seem to shake. In the back of my head, there seems to be this running notion that women have to be treated like these complete beautiful delicate flowers, they must be treated with respect. I’ve never been one of those guys that would go up and grope a girl in a club, or think that was ever acceptable, just because he thinks he can get away with it. But by that same token, I literally don’t care if I’m not shown that same sort of personal respect. And I’m not saying that in a way like, come up to me and touch me, I won’t care, but literally, I’ve been in bloody saunas in London where you have to tell old men to piss off or get their hands away from you after they’ve taken a sneaky grope or too. Plus I’ve had women (and men alike in clubs) grope me, and to be honest I couldn’t really give two shits.

But I know just because I, and probably a lot of other men don’t care, that women probably wouldn't. I know a helluva lot of women that care about that kinda thing, and to be honest it’s small things like that that scare me. You know its this fear of going from, kissing a girl to going, ‘right well why don't you come back to my place and we can fuck’. I guess part of that stems from the fact that with guys I’m often so used to the fact that sex is so explicit. You want sex you go on grindr, send pics, an hour later they’re at your door. 5 minutes later, your clothes are off. And yes hookups happen with girls on tinder, but I’ve just never had that confidence to exploit that sexually. For someone that’s straighter than I am, it’s not a problem, because you’ll put all your efforts in (especially while younger), into trying it on with girls and you’ll establish what largely works for you.

I’ve never had that opportunity to establish what works for me in that way, so essentially right now, nothing. My sexual contact with women has been explicitly discussed before it has happened, and that has been something of a massive rarity.

So basically, like a 13 year old boy - I’m scared to approach girls. And honestly, I don’t think going to a single sex school helped. And on reflection, there’s nothing I can do about that now, other than have to get over it. and the only way to get over it is to try it on with girls. But why do I ned to try it on with girls, when I can get man on man sex so much more easily and conveniently and fulfil my sexual desires that way? Then there’s the added complication of, well how much do I even like girls? Is there enough of a like and an appeal for me to want to actually bother? Like I know what I’m doing with guys, I know how this whole gay sex thing works pretty well by now, and for the most part and other than the fear of an incurable STD or HIV, largely works for me, ya know.

In addition, being involved in gay sex has given me some fantastic sexual opportunities that if I’m honest, I don’t think I ever could have witnessed at this age and in such depth if was having heterosexual sex.

‘My sons not a queer’

If there’s anything London pride renewed in me, was a sense of campuses and belonging. But not just that, far more important than that, was the rhetoric going on in my head, that I feel safer, freer, and happier being open about my sexuality. I don’t feel ‘straight’ anymore, and struggle massively to fall in line of being ‘completely straight’ especially when I’m at home. I browse grindr at the kitchen table in front of my friends, and comment on fit men, I openly have guys over, and will sometimes even discuss dates. Having lived that lifestyle it’s very difficult to go back, especially when there is one glaring omission. Girlfriends.

Now, this isn’t so much a problem, at university. My housemates and friends know what Im up to and what I’m into (well, they don’t know the half of it), but my parents, for a 21 year old boy, that’s never had a girlfriend, had a girl over, or shown signs of a relationship, but they who themselves were married from my age, it’s a bit odd to them.

I don’t think it mattered much when I started university, but I can tell by now they’re having their doubts. And it’s not to say that I’m camp at home, (or even in day to day life), I don’t strut my stuff, I don’t comment on hot accessories or lip balms, butt, I’m not that most masculine thing at home, and I find it awkward when my dad, and even my mum comments on these beautiful women ‘aren’t they?’. That’s the problem, ever time this happens, it makes it harder for me to put up with it, and it just makes me want to shout in their ear that I am, not in fact straight.

In fact, the biggest hook, line and sinker of the year, had to be when on holiday in September. We were sat in a grill house, and I was feeling pretty ill from my medication that day, queasy and out of it. Somehow, my mum managed to drop in some sort of joke about ‘well then, do you like girls or do you like boys’, other than nearly (subtly I might add), choking on my food, and being stumped for words, I thought to myself (well you didn’t say both, so I guess Il’l just lie about that answer), and managed to back out of it. To which my dad said ‘yeah our sons not gay’.

No more than a couple of weeks prior at a family do, my parents were dropping off some family in the car, when I asked my dad to drop me off in the gym, my aunt started going on about these gay guys being ‘Muscle Mary’s’ and always being obsessed with the gym, to which I said something along the lines of ‘oh didn’t realise only gay people went to the gym. My dad’s response, ‘our sons not a queer’.

Now in an ideal world, I like to think my dad isn’t homophobic..., (I think deep down, he would get over / accept the fact that I like men and get over it. It would be a shock, but it’s something he would have to and would deal with. I see the like of pride in his eyes when he talks about me, and is proud of my achievements. I know I’m not the sporting mad son that he’d always wanted me to be, but I’m naturally far more creative than I am sporting, and I was always often too shy to continue following sporting pursuits. It also doesn't largely help that I have one working eye and the hand eye coordination of a bat.) ...but at the end of the day, that’s not the first homophobic remark he’s made, and they used to especially upset me for the first couple of years when I came back from uni, for the holidays, him making these remarks, and me sinking back into the newly lost freedom that I’d had.

Pull the trigger, come out, I dare you?

I think in my head, I tend to live in the same closeted world that I did when I was 15 or 16. That is to say, my interactions with guys, especially online were from those who weren’t out, very much coming to terms with their sexuality or had accepted it, and were preparing to. I can safely say that by now, the majority of the gay or bi people that I know, are openly so, including to their parents. And then there’s me, in some open limbo, a halfway house, where coming out seems to be necessary but still feel like such an insanely bitter thing to do to yourself in order to live a happy life.

My views on being open and coming out have changed dramatically, since I went to uni. Before the belief was always this, go on grindr sleep with guys, never tell the parents, maybe tell a couple of people, but always keep it under wraps, live a secretive lifestyle, and never tell them. But now, when I talk to guys on grindr or online, or guys I’ve met up with, hooking up behind their girlfriends eyes, refusing or denying that they’ll ever come out or tell their parents, I pity them. I question, what sort of existence is that? This is Britain, 2017, there’s no need for that surely?

But then I remember by my own token, if I hadn’t drunkly outed myself, and then become more used to the process of slowly coming out to people (largely my age), without repercussion, then I probably too would hold similar views. I feel it’s only until you start coming out to people and realising that they don’t care, that you can only truly start to realise how little a deal it is to most people. And to those that do, you can set an example, and show how much diversity there is over your sexuality. There really isn’t one size fits all, gay, lesbian or bi guy.

I think one thing that has always prevented me from coming out, has been the way my sexuality has been handled in the past. I needn’t go into too many details other than, when someone outs your homosexual activities in school, and people make fun of it, then you’re going to push yourself further back into Narnia than you even knew existed.

It really is just the question of parents now. I’m open to most people, Im not the person I was in 2014, or 2012. I’ll for the most part, be open about my sexuality. But, it’s my parents, it really is that one thing.

I’ve been inches away from coming out this year. In February I was having a shit time of it, I felt like my world was coming crashing in, littered with sadness. And I remember being sat at my desk tearing my eyes out, writing a letter. Ready to send to my parents, and drive back home so I could come home, get some comfort and sort myself out for a while. In the end, things changed slightly and I didn’t.

One important question remains though. I think there is well and truly a need to do it now, that is no longer a question at all. Whatever, it’s going to have to happen, I just think I’m 21 now, there’s no need to be living a lie like this anymore. But... it’s how. I’ve thought about sitting them down and having a chat. But to be honest, I just hate hate hate, the idea of doing that, it seems so forced, so rigid. It’s like saying that, ‘sit down I have some bad news’, ‘the dog is dead’, or ‘I have cancer’ - why should I have to sit them down in such an inorganic way and tell them. I’ve considered telling them while on holidays in the past. Sat on an evening sipping cocktails, relaxed, talking in a way that we don’t usually and sharing things about ourselves. What about then? But no the opportunity rarely arises enough, and there’s just enough of a niggly doubt that leaves to me think it’s a good idea.

So I think I’m left with one option, and that’s to tell them via a letter and invite them to discuss it with me. But then, I’m not sure it’s something I want them to keep? You know? Once it’s done, it’s not like it’s a letter announcing a prize or a will, I’d kind of just want it to be gone by that point, but they can know that I then did it. At least with a letter I could say what I wanted to say without fluffing up the words, and get the ‘important’ points across.

All I know is, for 2018, I’m making it my mission to come out.

End of Part One

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evadne-leventhorpe-blog · 7 years

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Challenge #3

Alternately Titled: Wants Upon A Time

In a land far far away, stood a castle made of ice. From the frozen floors to the glittering chandeliers, everything in the castle was created by a wizard king with powers of ice. In this castle, lived his daughter, a princess, who was forbidden to leave the palace. The wizard king warned her of the dangers of stepping out into the sun, the risk of the princess losing everything. So she stayed inside her palace of ice, physically away from the outside world.

Day after day, she watched the whole world passing by her through all the enchanted windows of the castle. She spent hours by the windows watching life progress without her. The wizard king, noticing his daughter’s curiosity of the outside world, then crafted her a pair of frozen glasses- enchanted to show far off places to whoever used it, as long as she never took it off. The princess was overjoyed to use her glasses to finally see places beyond the small town below the castle, but her joy was short lived. The spectacles revealed the true nature of the outsiders. Unkind, disloyal, greedy, evil. She saw the evil in the hearts of men miles away from her. This only fueled the princess’ want to stay inside her castle.

The only person who left the castle frequently was the wizard king, attending to duties that the princess had little regard for. Every return he made, the wizard king brought all manner of gifts to present to his child. Necklaces, jewels, crowns, dresses. With these gifts, he also brought stories of the cruelty of the outsiders of their castle. Only more harrowing tales of how horrible it was to leave the ice castle. One travel brought on a beautiful ring made of golden leaves, and the story of a bridegroom who killed his bride to marry again for dowries. Another brought a gorgeous cape and the story of a soldier who betrayed his king. The princess could only imagine how much worst could these outsiders get.

Seasons passed and the princess continued to live with her enchanted glasses, her father’s gifts and stories, and the luxury that the ice castle provided her. Her life was lavished under the care of the wizard king, so lavished that the princess had grown spoiled and bitter of those she saw through the glasses. How lucky she felt to be isolated inside her ice palace, how lucky that she had nothing to do with those outsiders. She grew hopeless of the world, and decided to continue spending her days in the ice castle, living on second hand experience. She was content inside her icy world.

One day, the princess saw through her windows and glasses a huge mob of outsiders, gathering just outside the palace gates with weapons she couldn’t recognize. She rushed to warn her father of the people threatening their home. When word got to him, the wizard king did as he always did: leave the palace with the promise of gifts and a story. The princess watched everything unfold from her windows. She watched the mob overwhelm her father with their weapons, and wept as she watched them put him in chains. She yelled and screamed for them to let him go, but she was powerless as they took her father away. The outsiders tried to carry her father away, but he did put up a fight. Within the ensuing fight, she saw some of the less active outsiders aiming for the palace with rocks, throwing them against parts of the palace. She heard the sounds of ice smashing, and the princess took cover inside her closet to avoid seeing anymore of the damage they were doing to the palace.

When the sounds of the crowd disappeared and the princess thought it was safe, she emerged from her closet to asses what had happened. She saw the broken pieces of ice on the floors, felt the draft of wind that came from one of the broken windows. To her surprise everything she’s seen through that same window had looked so much different than before. She used her glasses to look for where her father was, searching through the nearby village to see any trace of him using the gift that her father gave her. But she encountered sights that she couldn’t even think of seeing in the people of the village.She still saw the disloyalty and greed in these people, but she also saw kindness, she saw warmth, she saw love. For the first time, the princess witnessed what it was like to be truly human.

The princess wondered why it was the first time she was seeing all of this. She used her enchanted glasses to look farther and farther away from her home, and she still saw the same things. She was seeing kindness in outsiders for the first time. It confused her, once again made her curious of the people who lived outside of the ice castle. Everything was so out of the ordinary when she saw out of these broken windows. She looked for a window that wasn’t damaged during the attack and peered through it with her glasses and saw only the cruelty in people. The princess was so confused with what was happening. All her life, she has seen outsiders as evil beings she never wanted to be associate with, yet today through broken windows she saw the goodness in them too. She spent days wandering her castle to figure it out, but no amount of wandering in the ice palace would give her answers. There was only one person who could have give her the answers she was looking for.

Her father was imprisoned in a cell in a nearby kingdom, and she knew that she needed to find and speak to her father. She had to get out of the castle, but risk losing everything that mattered to her. She spent days wandering around the castle wondering if she really was brave enough.What was left of what mattered to her? This ice castle? The broken chandeliers? The now-worthless gifts that lay on her bedroom?

It felt like nothing was important to her anymore, not after what had happened. So for the first time, the princess stepped outside of her castle and she watched the magical glasses melt in her hands.

The world was new, yet so familiar- the streets and roads she often observed through her window. She traveled through towns, trading some of her father’s gifts for shelter, a horse, and most especially a story. Outsiders told her the story of the wizard king that lived in a castle of ice that terrorized kingdoms far and wide. They told her the stories of a wizard king who easily stole precious gifts and items to hoard in his castle. The closer she got to where her father was imprisoned, the more stories she heard about the man they called the wizard king.

When she found her father imprisoned in the middle of a huge square in chains and cages, the princess had heard enough to have discovered who her father really was: a terrible villain. When she got to speak to him again, she yelled at him for keeping her so ignorant of world around her, how he was the cruel one for deceiving her and keeping her locked up inside the castle. She yelled and sobbed to her father of all the wrong she had heard he had done and as she raged the king had nothing to say.

When she was done, she had left her father, to see the world through her own eyes, no magical glasses, no windows, just her- never to be deceived again.

I read through my story over for probably the 10th time as we take a limousine to the children’s hospital. Writing a fictional story was difficult. If there was a class that I had barely passed way back in my first years in college, it would have been creative writing. Fiction and fantasy were never a specialty of mine, I was always about writing the truth or doing researches for debates. It took me about a week and a half to write this story, and I really did try my best to make it as kid friendly as possible. What was the most kid friendly kind of stories out there? Fairytales.

To write a fairytale, one must become familiar with their kind so at the beginning, I did what anybody else would do. I googled fairytales. Like doing a research or a debate, I needed a good background of what exactly I was writing. I read through collections by the Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, and Madame D’Aulnoy and well, I was a little wrong in thinking that all fairytales were kid friendly.

Along with trying to read through fairytales, I had the brilliant idea of watching the masters of children’s stories work their magic. Yeap, I watched and streamed a few Disney Princess movies. Aricia had seen me downloading a few movies while at the Women’s Room one day, and well, I decided to invite her since she seemed pretty interested. The afternoon later, I prepared my room for a Disney Princess themed movie marathon/sleepover. Aricia and I had a blast watching all our movies and eating cupcakes (it was pretty nice of Aricia to be conscious of my allergies and bring strawberry and vanilla cupcakes). Among all the movies we watched together, I had to say that I loved the first movie we watched/sang along to: Mulan.

((PLEASE BRING HONOR TO US ALLLLLL))

The two of us had a lot of fun talking to each other about our lives before the Selection and I was pretty surprised to find out that Aricia wasn’t a natural blonde! She was a brunette. I found myself enjoying her company a lot and thought that we could both be really good friends in the future.

A few days later, and I find myself here today, cramming over my story for the nth time because I feel like I should be giving the kids a great story. Not only that, but I feel like a lot of people were expecting me to do well with this activity. This was charity work. This was something that people probably expected me to be good at. It’s true, I’ve contributed to a few children’s hospital charities as a volunteer- usually because charities in Hundson often asked each other for help when they were low on people. It was a mutually beneficial relationship, and I did enjoy the times that I got to visit these hospitals.

I look around the limo and I feel a little underdressed, everyone else are in gorgeous day dresses and I’m here in a pair of black plants, a yeezy shirt, and a blazer. In hindsight, I should have planned my outfit to be a little more Selected-looking but my mind was too busy with worrying and writing about the story that I had chosen something I’d wear to Children’s Hospital of Hundson. Anyway, it’s not about the glamour or me today, it is about making the kids happy.

We arrive at the hospital and are greeted by a few royal aids and nurses that take us to specific areas in the hospital. My specific guide is named Margaux, and she introduces herself a resident nurse past two years since she’s studying for her specialization in pediatrics. She seems really excited to meet me and asks to take selfie with me on our way to the room. Even on our way there, a few more younger nurses catch up to us to ask for a picture with me.

When I get to the room where the kids are, I’m greeted by the sight of around seven kids sitting down on their beds, talking to each other.

“Good morning everyone!” I greet as a few kids hopped off their beds. Some of them seemed too young to be in a hospital, a few others were in their early teens- the eldest among them looked about 16.

One of the youngest kids walks towards me and Nurse Margaux, and tugs on her scrubs. “Is this the new nurse?” Did I look that casual that I could pass as a nurse? I look down on the child and realize that one of his legs were artificial.

“It’s Lady Evadne!” the eldest of the kids says, reaching for her phone on the side of her bed, and I notice the prosthetic arm she uses.

“No, Pierro. This is the special guest we told you about yesterday. She’s one of the Selected.” Margaux corrects the boy at her side.

“Indeed it’s me.” I smile at the kids as they each make their ways to a sitting area set up at one corner of the room. The more kids that gather to that area, I notice the missing limbs and the prostheses that each of them were using.

“These kids are currently being rehabilitated, they’re all amputees.” Margaux whispers as an explanation.

“Bone cancer?” I whispered back.

“Some like Pierro. A few others have had complications with Type 1 Diabetes.”

I nod my head in understanding as I’m lead to the seat at the center of the room. As I look around at these kids, I’m suddenly reminded of someone who really mattered to me: Peggy, my horse.

“Lady Evadne, you don’t look like a princess.” A little girl with a prosthetic on her left arm says as she gives me a once over.

“I’m not a princess.” I shake my head. “I’m a Selected.”

“But don’t the Selected dress up like princesses?” she pushes on, “You should wear a dress.”

“Delia, she does look like a princess. Look at her pictures online.” The eldest girl snatches up the young one, pointing to her phone. “I’m Amber and a huge fan of your instagram.” Amber turns to me and waves.

I laugh and wave back. “Hey thanks! You all could call me Vad. It’s less of a mouthful.”

A unison of “Hey Vad” comes from the kids.

Margaux waves her hands to get the attention of the kids. “So we could spend a few minutes asking Lady Vad about her experience as a Selected. Who’d like to go first?”

Amber raises her prosthetic arm up. “Do you really have dresses made for you everyday?”

“Not really. Sometimes, I’m fine with repeating a few dresses.” I answer.

“How big is the palace?”

“Huge. They have really big outdoor areas.

“Is it true that you’re allergic to chocolate?”

“Yeap, I had an allergic reaction recently when the Welcome Ball was held.”

These kids were shooting me a lot of questions, and it made me remember when Dominic had told me about how everyone had been asking him questions way back during the first dates. You do get tired of talking about yourself.

The more I talked and spoke with these kids, the more I couldn’t really ignore the artificial limbs that seemed to have united them. I wanted to give a great story for these kids- not just some version of my life story like the story I prepared. The story I wrote wasn’t going to entertain the kids. When I wrote the story, I wrote it for me.

“So I believe you kids would want me to tell you a story now… right?” I ask, taking my tablet out and going to the word document of my story. It took one last look at the story that made me decide that this wasn’t the story I should be telling these kids- but I knew a personal story that would be perfect for them.

Pierro and Delia looked excited to hear the story and I grinned back as I looked for the right picture in my photo gallery on the tablet.

“If you kids didn’t know, I’m an equestrian- that means that I play a lot of sports that involves horses. This story is going to be about the true star of the competition, my best friend: Peggy.” I turned my tablet around to show a picture of Peggy and I in practice.

“Peggy loved competitions. She was this gorgeous golden brown mare with shining black eyes. She was fast, agile, and beautiful- everything that a prize winning horse should be. I met Peggy when I started horseback riding, so that was about 15 years ago. I learned how to ride horseback with her, and even learned how to jump hurdles, and play polo. We joined all kinds of competitions since I was a kid. I spent a lot of times in the stable, grooming and taking care of Peggy- she was one of my first best friends. I grew up loving that horse, even until now.”

“So let me tell you this one story about Peggy. Two years ago, during a competition in Hudson, Peggy and I were doing our usual routine- jumping hurdles, smiling ,and putting on a great show for the judges, when suddenly I hear a crack and Peggy and I tumble down on the ground. My heart immediately dropped at the sight I saw when I got up.” It happened all too fast, but in those few seconds the world had slowed down.

“One of Peggy’s front legs was bent in a crazy angle and panic immediately struck me. I knew that there was only one fate for horses with broken legs, death. Horses are amazing and very strong creatures but their bones can be so light that once they’re broken the horse could never recover. I was so scared because I’ve seen so many horses break their legs during competition, and I would never see them again. I didn’t want that happening to my best friend.”

“We had her rushed to the nearest veterinary hospital to get the medical attention she needed. The vet told me that Peggy needed to be put down. After all our training together, her leg had gotten so bent that it had snapped when she misplaced her hoof. All I could think of were ways to save Peggy’s life.” I remembered the desperation in my voice as I yelled at the vet for alternatives.

“My horse was not going to die because of this, she didn’t deserve to die like this. So I pleaded with the vet to give us other options, and he gave us our saving grace: a veterinary hospital in Midston specialized in prosthetics for horses. He told us that we needed to amputate Peggy’s broken leg before she bled too much, so I made the decision to agree. For my best friend, I needed to make a tough decision.”

“The next day, I had flown with Peggy to Midston to go to that veterinary hospital and we got her fitted with a prosthetic leg and titanium bone implants for her three other remaining legs. I’d be lying if I said that it was easy for me- it wasn’t. I could see that something other than her leg had broken, her spirit and it was painful to watch her go into surgery. I’m pretty sure that’s how your parents felt when you went into surgery too.”

“It took 8 hours for the procedure to be over, and when I checked on Peggy, she had a shiny new silver leg on. But she couldn’t stand just yet. How long does it take you to get used to your new legs?” I ask.

“Around 6 months…” I asked Pierro.

“It took Peggy a year and a half to really recover and that just covered standing and walking. It took us another six months to get her back to the way she used to be. People and doctors could tell you that you wouldn’t have much time left, but I want you to remember Peggy- if she got through it, so could you.” I show a picture of Peggy on a field with her shiny new leg in display. I even show a home video of the recent Charity Polo Match I had competed with Peggy.

The look on their faces as they watch Peggy gallop and run through the field was heart warming. It was hope, it was a story that I felt like they could relate to, more than the ice princess and the villainous wizard king and that was how I knew that I had told them the right story.

They ask me even more questions- mostly about Peggy. Talking about her made me miss home at Hudson, and I make a mental note to video call Zena and to put Peggy and Apollo on. After that, we take a few more pictures and selfies. Amber seemed to be the most excited to take a picture with me, and when I told her that she was going on my instagram she had freaked out about it.

When I was back in the limo with the other girls, I looked back at all the photos I took with the kids on my phone- content with what happened that day, and that was all that I wanted.

A/N: Super sorry for this being so late, I’m posting this in school. Lol RIp me, will probably edit this when I’m done with my college essay. My edits will be posted separately since I’m having trouble attaching pictures here. thank you so much to @ariciaeast for RP-ing with me. I’ll try to really write our RP in a separate fic.

#challenges #challenge 3 #ch 3 #evadne leventhorpe #lady evadne #lol I actually finished this in research class #selectionoc #~selection

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stellacarrierimaginationbuilders · 5 years

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Shocking Adventures of Futuristic Culinary Employee Spencer Truman

Start time by 519 pm Sunday June 2 2019

Completion time by 558 pm Sunday June 3 2019

Shocking Adventures of Futuristic Culinary Employee Spencer Truman

Hi My Name is Spencer Truman and I work as a culinary assistant to university chefs in the Hampton Roads Virginia area in the Year 2105 cooking for Old Dominion University in Norfolk Virginia, Tidewater Community College in Norfolk Virginia and sometimes assisting my brother Damion Truman at some of the events he is asked to set up for on the University of Maryland College Park campus. I reside in a completely paid for home that is a mile from the Norfolk Virginia naval base that cost 99000 American dollars in early 2000s money. I was born June 14 2070 and I have an older brother named Damion Truman born June 13 2060 who currently resides in a paid for home less than a block away from the College Park metro station in College Park Maryland. Damion Truman paid 100,000 dollars in early 2000s American money for his home. He works as a caterer on the University of Maryland College Park campus and he sometimes invites me to help set up events with him on a volunteer basis once or twice a week. I Spencer Truman am about purchase a car within the next two weeks. We are able to easily see each other at least weekly because of a high speed train station system that was built by the year 2065 that opened across various parts of the United States. This changed the U.S. economy a lot because a person living and residing in the Washington D.C. area could now go from taking a train from downtown Washington D.C., northern Virginia andor certain parts of Maryland and be in let’s say California in the span of just an hour andor even all the way across England andor Iceland in the same timeframe more on that in a future session.

I Spencer Truman have been asked if me and my brother are direct descendants of President Harry Truman and/or members of his family. To be honest, both my brother and I have yet to know because we were both adopted by the time we were 5 years old and by the time we both worked up the courage to ask both of our adoptive parents (by the year 2090) they both mysteriously died the same day as our biological mother who died a year before (in 2089). This is important because we both have been told by our adoptive family members that only our adoptive parents know the complete information on who could be our father because our late biological mother was a popular prostitute who mingled with men of various backgrounds and socio-economic classes by the time prostitution was legalized across the United States by the year 2060. Neither my brother or I judge her for her lifestyle, however we have yet to find out our full backgrounds on our full racial ancestries because we found out through a past boyfriend of our biological mother that she was still immersed in the field of prostitution before and after she gave birth to the both of us averaging at least 8 to 20 clients a month that netted her an income of at least 2000 dollars a month in early 2000s money. However, yesterday before this interview someone who says they were one of the coworkers and a relative of one of the regular clients of my late biological mother contacted me after seeing me and my brother featured on a popular newspaper article of high society in the Hampton Roads Virginia area and interviewed on a news channel. My brother and I were featured as part of a summer camp teaching other adults psychic abilities and cooking demonstrations at a week long summer camp that is available for men and women of ages 17 on up by the year 2080. We were both interviewed because of our side business that we were offering both as matchmakers to traditional couples and matchmakers to non-traditional couples for a fee to 500 dollars in early 2000s money. We grew in popularity because we had a high rate of success in matching people who were mutually attracted to each other after just one try (i.e. over 90 percent of our clients only had to invest 500 dollars). Over 80 percent of those pairings resulted in long term relationships andor partnerships andor long term love affairs spanning at least 10 to 15 years and at least 60 percent of them resulted in marriages. We both became millionaires in the span of just 5 years because of the high demand for our services particularly from people who controversially it would have been considered taboo for them to seek out such services, i.e. a high percentage of married women and men of various ages ranging from 21 to 120 of various incomes and backgrounds and men and women of various ages backgrounds and income looking to discreetly meet these women. Yes many of these successful pairings were at our Virginia Beach summer camp along with our traditional couple pairings and oddly enough in a positive way many people got along with each other. A coworker who is connected to my potential father noticed the physical similarities of my brother and I to one of his friends that he knew and at first he admitted to not wanting to contact us until the late friend’s sister insisted that he at least lets me and my older brother know for closure even though my rumored biological father already passed away (the sister is offering up her dna). Both I Spencer Truman and Damon Truman decided to stay working in our culinary fields for now for the enjoyment of it. Apparently the rumored biological father kept my late biological mother a secret from many of his friends and family members not because of her profession but because he was married and worked in a field that necessitated he keep relations with my late prostitute mother a secret (he was a high ranking navy intelligence officer). The sister offering up her dna to see if her married brother was our father has worked as a food publicist both across the Norfolk Virginia and Virginia Beach Virginia areas in addition to multiple parts of the metro Washington D.C. area (College Park Maryland, Arlington Virginia, Wheaton Maryland Mclean Virginia etc.)Anyhow, I Spencer Truman plan to speak with you more on the feature on this exciting summer camp that opened in Virginia Beach by the year 2080 and rumor has it that a similar camp is going to open in College Park Maryland by the year 2108. I Spencer Truman admit that both myself and my brother have been told that we resemble Sting from the Everything She Does is Magic era which helps in our side business as matchmakers. However, I must be on my way because one of my career psychic coaches just texted me and is letting me know that he thinks that we both won a 200 million dollar lottery that we both purchased and shared lottery tickets for.

Resources

https://www.randomlists.com/boy-names

Washington D.C. area and Hampton Roads Virginia area stories

9 Virginian Pilot

I have eaten at Shake Shack in at least 3 different locations within the metro D.C. area since Shake Shack came to the metro D.C. area after the May 2011 timeframe. My favorite burger is the shack stack burger which comes with a hybrid of a cheeseburger and a fried mushroom burger stuffed with cheese. I am guessing that the new Shake Shack location in Virginia Beach is probably going to be popular for at least a while if their food is just as good as the locations I have been to in the metro D.C. area. I admit that I intend to eventually try the Virginia Beach location Shake Shack.

https://pilotonline.com/business/consumer/article_1eb4e6d0-7c81-11e9-b682-6326ddaa780c.html

Shake Shack Fans Early To Line Up For Famed Burgers and Fries by Robyn Sidersky staff writer May 22, 2019

https://pilotonline.com/business/consumer/article_1eb4e6d0-7c81-11e9-b682-6326ddaa780c.html

online Virginia schooling college network

https://onlinevirginia.net/onlinelearning/

A six dollar pricing for a cranberry meat and brie sandwich sounds fine. The fact that a new chef is going to test out their foods each Monday sounds interesting.

https://pilotonline.com/life/flavor/article_ee758982-35f1-11e9-8401-b3d0d1a9aed8.html

At One Norfolk Space, Diners Can Try A Brand New Restaurant Every Month by Matthew Korfhage Staff Writer February 25 2019

https://pilotonline.com/life/flavor/article_ee758982-35f1-11e9-8401-b3d0d1a9aed8.html

I am taking a wild guess that these coworking spaces referenced in this article are going to become even more popular by the July 2019 timeframe especially with the multiple businesses referenced: Old Dominion Norfolk State Novel Coworking City Center etc.

https://pilotonline.com/business/real-estate/article_77539218-7c05-11e9-8b68-0b2ebca27592.html

Co-Working Office Space Continues To Pop Up In Norfolk Here’s Why by Briana Adhikusuma updated May 28 2019

https://pilotonline.com/business/real-estate/article_77539218-7c05-11e9-8b68-0b2ebca27592.html

Novel Coworking City Center

https://novelcoworking.com/locations/virginia/norfolk/city-center/

The Poketastic place seems pretty unique from the detailed description of the eating experience and sounds to have a combination of nourishing and tasty ingredients with the references to scallop salmon pineapple seaweed salad cilantro mixed greens salad etc . I pre-ordered the book Classic Restaurants of Coastal Virginia by Patrick Evans Hylton back in April 2019 and I wonder if there are any restaurants similar to Poketastic that are going to be referenced in the Classic Restaurants of Coastal Virginia book.

https://pilotonline.com/life/flavor/restaurants/peake-eats/article_874480d6-7aa4-11e9-a273-f3225a3fc867.html

At Poketastic, Possibilities Abound With Tender Toppings From Raw Seafood To Seaweed Salad by Patrick Evans Hylton

https://pilotonline.com/life/flavor/restaurants/peake-eats/article_874480d6-7aa4-11e9-a273-f3225a3fc867.html

I unexpectedly saw the University of Maryland College Park Robert H Smith school of business ad advertised online via the Patrick Evans Hylton Poketastic Virginian Pilot story

University of Maryland College Park Robert H Smith School of Business

https://www.rhsmith.umd.edu/programs/part-time-mba/?utm_campaign=f17-ptmba-choozle

http://virginiaeatsanddrinks.com/

https://barryartmuseum.odu.edu/

This article that showcases a multiple number of items that are available in the Barry Art Museum of Old Dominion University in Norfolk Virginia and from the collection of Richard Barry and Carolyn Barry is informative. However, the only caveat I feel is that I wish that at least a few pictures of the art available in the Barry Art museum were included with this Virginian Pilot article.

https://pilotonline.com/opinion/editorial/article_5c4beb0e-e84a-11e8-8be3-c7c4ce9c5275.html

See Artworks At ODU For Free by The Virginian Pilot Editorial Board November 15 2018

https://pilotonline.com/opinion/editorial/article_5c4beb0e-e84a-11e8-8be3-c7c4ce9c5275.html

I do feel that it is both worthwhile and helpful to discuss broadening the increase of grocery stores in modest income neighborhoods across the country. I am fortunate in the sense that I have enough free time in my schedule to travel to certain grocery stores for necessary food items where I live. However, I have been in areas within the U.S. that Warner refers to that could benefit from more grocery stores with affordable foods.

https://pilotonline.com/opinion/columnist/guest/article_58fa07a6-824b-11e9-8984-b37945cf96b8.html

Congress Food by Mark Warner U.S. Senate

https://pilotonline.com/opinion/columnist/guest/article_58fa07a6-824b-11e9-8984-b37945cf96b8.html

Washington Post

This Washington Post article helps remind me to eventually check out the International Spy Museum sometime before the end of this year.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2019/05/09/things-do-dc-area-this-weekend/?utm_term=.4a2025859e8f

17 Things To Do In The DC Area This Weekend by GoingOut Guide Staff Friday May 10

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2019/05/09/things-do-dc-area-this-weekend/?utm_term=.4a2025859e8f

Each of the Events in this Washington Post article seem interesting in their own way. However, I admit to being curious to research more information on the By The People Festival referenced in this article.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/goingoutguide/the-best-things-to-see-drink-and-do-in-june-in-the-dc-area/2019/05/29/2ec3bea2-7e2f-11e9-8bb7-0fc796cf2ec0_story.html?utm_term=.e73864f7e0f5

The Best Things To See Drink and Do In June In The D.C. Area by the GoingOut Guide Staff May 31 2019

https://www.washingtonpost.com/goingoutguide/the-best-things-to-see-drink-and-do-in-june-in-the-dc-area/2019/05/29/2ec3bea2-7e2f-11e9-8bb7-0fc796cf2ec0_story.html?utm_term=.e73864f7e0f5

The Washington Post features a good mix of concerts in this article. However, I respectfully disagree with the Something In The Water Festival being in the Washington D.C. Area not having a note listed of the transportation arrangements to make because it is actually in the Hampton Roads Virginia area with the festival taking place in Virginia Beach. Something In The Water Festival affiliated with the talented Pharrell Williams is actually connected with the Hampton Roads Virginia area. Both the Hampton Roads Virginia and the Washington D.C. area are fascinating places to live. However, the well meaning inclusion of the Something In The Water Festival must accompany a note that such a festival would most likely need to be accessed via taking an Amtrak train, airplane or greyhound bus even with the inclusion of a Delaware festival in the article for Washington D.C. readers who might have resided in the Washington D.C. area their whole life and might be led to believe that all of these festivals are public transportation accessible. I am adding that note with also admitting that I do intend to eventually attend the Something In The Water Festival in Virginia Beach in ideally 2020.Still, I am a proud Washington Post subscriber and I intend to be for years to come especially because a multiple number of the Washington Post articles are fascinating to look at andor read.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/goingoutguide/music/summer-music-festival-guide/2019/04/17/2734977a-4fda-11e9-8d28-f5149e5a2fda_story.html?utm_term=.f69c84cf35a0

Dozens of Music Festivals Are Vying For Your Attention This Summer by Chris Richards Hau Chu Rudi Greenberg Stephanie Williams April 18 2019

https://www.washingtonpost.com/goingoutguide/music/summer-music-festival-guide/2019/04/17/2734977a-4fda-11e9-8d28-f5149e5a2fda_story.html?utm_term=.f69c84cf35a0

Obviously as an Amazon fanatic, I do believe that Amazon moving to Arlington Virginia is a good move both for the overall state of Virginia and for the metro Washington D.C. area. The Hampton Roads area of Virginia would have been the next best area for Amazon. However, I can understand why the Crystal City Arlington Virginia area was chosen because of the top notch public transportation in both Crystal City Arlington Virginia across the metro Washington D.C. area that helps even car-free male and female career professionals easily get around.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/realestate/awaiting-the-amazon-influx-crystal-city-savors-its-urban-feel-and-dc-views/2019/01/24/4099b834-0f62-11e9-84fc-d58c33d6c8c7_story.html?utm_term=.b3aed7163377

Amazon Influx Crystal City Arlington Virginia

https://www.washingtonpost.com/realestate/awaiting-the-amazon-influx-crystal-city-savors-its-urban-feel-and-dc-views/2019/01/24/4099b834-0f62-11e9-84fc-d58c33d6c8c7_story.html?utm_term=.b3aed7163377

I feel lucky that I came across this honest/truthful Washington Post article. My husband and I both have a goal to own a completely paid for home ideally by the time we are in our 50s and this article helps me understand why I must try harder towards that goal. However, I hope that the seniors featured in this article go on to prosper andor find a place andor area/region within the U.S. that they both like to live and is affordable for the money that they have.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2019/05/28/middle-income-seniors-risk-falling-through-cracks-housing-market/?utm_term=.94ee9a7f0025

Middle Income Seniors by Tara Bahrampour May 28 2019

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2019/05/28/middle-income-seniors-risk-falling-through-cracks-housing-market/?utm_term=.94ee9a7f0025

Congratulations to Manuel Franco for his lottery won and his newfound millionaire status. I believe that this was the same person referenced in another article who bravely/courageously admitted that he was just trying to save up at least 1000 dollars or more when he unexpectedly won the lottery.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/04/23/how-winner-million-lottery-jackpot-nearly-lost-his-ticket/?utm_term=.693a010f5aca

How The Winner Of A $768 Million Lottery Jackpot by Michael Brice Saddler April 23 2019

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/04/23/how-winner-million-lottery-jackpot-nearly-lost-his-ticket/?utm_term=.693a010f5aca

Youtube Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum

I am fortunate to have had the chance to visit the National Air and Space Museum in the metropolitan Washington D.C. area multiple times within the past few years. One of the visits that influenced me to check out the National Air and Space Museum multiple times was when my husband and I visited around the November 2014 timeframe for my birthday. We also have had a chance to recently visit less than 2 to 3 months ago.

I admit that the National Museum of the American Indian in Washington D.C. is another museum that I have been to with my husband multiple times. There are good mixes of a variety of exhibits there. However one of the few caveats is that on each visit I have yet to find anything related to the Menominee Indian Tribe. I was naturally a little curious to see if there was anything about the Menominee Indian Tribe because my late biological mother, my late maternal biological grandmother and multiple members of my biological mother’s family have Menominee Indian ancestry.

youtube link of National Museum of the American Indian via Cspan One of the multiple beneficial/positive things to living in the metro Washington D.C. area are easy proximity to public transportation and places to go to including the malls. I happen to find out that the Tysons Corner Center mall (in Mclean Virginia) is easy to get to after a friend told me about where Tysons Corner Center mall is at by the 2014 timeframe. Despite this mall being a distance from where my husband and I live this mall has a great mix of places inside it. Youtube link The New Tysons Corner Center via the youtube channel the Tysons Corner Center My husband and I are both at least somewhat familiar with Arlington Virginia because since around the 2010/2011 timeframe we have at times went to the Pentagon City mall in Arlington Virginia plus some of his college classes that he attended between the 2010 to 2012 timeframe were in Arlington Virginia. However, I still found this youtube video of Arlington Virginia Exploring Memorials Events Dining and Neighborhoods Near Washington DC (via the Visit the USA channel) very informative. I am glad to have spotted this video on youtube featuring the Westfield Wheaton mall in Wheaton Maryland. There are a strong variety of grocery shopping places to go to with the inclusion of Costo, Giants and Safeway plus multiple options of places to eat and shop at. Youtube channel of Wheaton Mall Lara Findeisen This youtube video is pretty brief though it does capture a good view from above the University of Maryland College Park campus. I feel fortunate that I have been a University of Maryland College Park staff employee for 2 years and 9 months. Maryland From Above via UMD youtube channel

Songs for me to keep in mind: Case of Loving You by Robert Palmer, Rebel Yell Billy Idol, Move Along by American Rejects, Natural by Imagine Dragons, Ocean Avenue Yellowcard, Riptide Vance Joy, High Hopes Panic at the Disco, Fame David Bowie, Everything She Does is Magic Sting,Wheel In The Sky Journey

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Shocking Adventures of Futuristic Culinary Employee Spencer Truman With Added Inclusion of Part Two and Additional Resources

Start time by 519 pm Sunday June 2 2019

Completion time by 558 pm Sunday June 3 2019

Shocking Adventures of Futuristic Culinary Employee Spencer Truman With Added Inclusion of Part Two and Additional Resources

ADDED INCLUSION OF PART TWO and additional resources

Resume Time by 948 pm Sunday June 2 2019

Resume Completion by 959 pm Sunday June 2 2019

This is career psychic coach Lawson Ronin who has been helping out Spencer Truman for over 8 years now. I specialize in using my psychic abilities to help people either keep their jobs andor transition to jobs where they sign a guaranteed time contract of at least 4 years. More of those guaranteed 4 and 8 year jobs are becoming popular because it has been proven that many of the private sector jobs that required a time contract similar to military enlistments produced men and women employees who were successful in purchasing completely paid for homes, were promoted faster and were paid more over the long term than even more educated andor more experienced professionals who were not on a contract. Spencer Truman is in a private sector job with an 8 year contract that became available by the year 2092 which was by the same year that men and women holding student loans for at least 7 years were eligible to have all of their student loans forgiven unless their income was at least 2100 dollars a month after taxes for a consistent 4 years in a row. This was the precursor for why the U.S. government decided to have more private sector jobs grant 4 year enlistments to a male or female worker after they voluntarily stayed at a job past 3 months.

What This has to do with my work with Spencer Truman is that he has asked me to train him to be my apprentice for the type of career recruiter job that helps more male and female professionals became qualified for guaranteed 4 and 8 year jobs in both the private and government sectors to match the government sectors. In exchange, Spencer Truman refers a high number of married people from his matchmaking business for my services because a high number of married men and women in addition to those who prefer to be a bachelor or bachelorette come to me to see what they can do to qualify for a job that guarantees them the job security of at least a 4 to 8 year contract. More on this within the next session.