#(which is funny cause i have a WIP that kind of is like that except it's parker and nick in present and past respectively)

[foolishlovers]

hi jane! how are you? 💕 i looove your fic recs and i always wanted to ask for some, too... but i never knew what kind of fics i would ask for bc i'm uncreative af lol ANYWAY i've been feeling pretty low these past few days now and i could use some fluffy sweet ineffable idiots/friends to lovers fics to cheer me up..? doesn't really matter if short or long, au, fix-it, explicit or not... i'm not picky (tho i prefer longer fics) 👉🏻👈🏻 do you have some recs? or even personal faves? i'd love to see them, pretty please? (i'm also reading/have read your wip's and finished fics and i love ALL OF THEM V MUCH just so you know that!! anyway, i hope you're doing good! have a great start to the week mwah 💕✨️)

addi hi you’re are so very sweet!! i’m sending you all my hugs and i hope you’ll feel better soon 💜

here are some of my favourite idiots/friends to lovers good omens fics:

Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture (M, 17k) "Yes, exactly. Retire." Aziraphale reaches for the last remaining tartlet brimming with summer berries. "Somewhere along the south coast, perhaps." Or: Crowley and Aziraphale learn to move in tandem.

You are HoMe (Half of Me) by angelsnuffbox (T, 28k) Aziraphale had gotten dumped, plain and simple. But that small detail wasn’t nearly as important as all the things that happened after he’d gotten dumped - such as coming to a few realisations about his best friend of sixteen years.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by Gefionne (M, 28k) Because they can’t see each other more than once every few decades, Aziraphale suggests that he and Crowley write to each other to pass the time apart. As quills for their letters, they exchange wing feathers: a gesture of great intimacy that Crowley is convinced only he perceives the depth of. But time will tell that it’s not just him who sees it that way.

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (E, 32k)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan

Okay, fine.

Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

Between Comfort And Chaos by anathxmadevice (T, 45k) “And how long have you two been a couple?” “Oh, I—” Aziraphale panics. “Ha, well, that’s a funny… We’re not actually—” “We’re just friends.” Crowley says, their voice clear and calm and lightly amused, either because of or in spite of Aziraphale’s flailing attempts to divert the conversation. “Ah, yes, quite.” Aziraphale says, then takes a sip of his drink just for something to do, instead of focussing on the way Crowley said just friends, and how it causes a painful throb in his chest that he has never fully got used to. His memory can only scrabble at the edge of a time where being just friends with Crowley didn’t feel like a particular form of torture. Or, Aziraphale has been desperately in love with his best friend and housemate Crowley since they were students, but is too scared to do anything about it.

Won't You be My Neighbor? by Spiro, ProblematicPitch (T, 52k) When Mr. A. Z. Fell moves to the quiet English village of Tadfield, he expects nosy neighbors and inquiries into his eccentric, solitary life. What he doesn't anticipate is Anthony J. Crowley, the surly nuisance / next-door-neighbor, who might very well need a friend as much as he does.

Good Endings by WyvernQuill (T, 56k) A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.)   "Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here." Madame Tracy peered at the page. Raised a meaningful eyebrow. "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context…" "Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "….huh."   (Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

Barriers, and the Breaking Thereof by Cardinal_Daughter (M, 71k) Ezra Fell has long been comfortable in his loneliness. He’s content to simply run the Soho Public Library and otherwise keep to himself. However, when a handsome stranger bursts in one evening with a baby, frantic and in need of help, Ezra finds those carefully constructed barriers he’s long maintained begin to crack. Perhaps it’s time to let them fall. Human AU. Complete.

Put Out The Fire by Aleakim (T, 133k) Aziraphale finds himself in a very awkward position as some sort of spell makes everyone merely glancing in his direction instantly fall deeply and desperately in love with him. Absolutely everyone. Well, apart from Crowley, that is. And while both angel and demon search for a solution to this fairly unique problem, Crowley can’t help wondering whether Aziraphale might finally figure out some things he kept hidden for so very long. [you can request more fic recs here]

#im kinda not doing too well rn so this really cheered me up thank u love 💜💜💜 #answered #good omens #good omens fic rec #good omens fanfic #good omens human au #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #friends to lovers #ineffable idiots #foolish recs

[just-french-me-up]

hey hi i'm buzzing with the need for dreamling fic recs if you would be so kind as to point me in your favorite direction pls pls pls

Oh friend, you asked and I shall ✨ deliver ✨

DREAMLING FIC RECS 🌻✨

of my misery make thy use by @qqueenofhades (Explicit - WIP - 129k so far - In Universe, but with some tweaks, Rescue fic) Dream is Roderick Burgess' prisoner, in all his silent, sullen, naked glory, and has given up on the thought of anyone ever helping him out of there. Even Hob Gadling. Especially Hob Gadling. In fact, he's quite sure the man never wants to speak to him ever again, regardless of his current predicament. A bummer, really, because he also happens to be married to him. (Listen that fic has slain me EVERY WHICH WAY, it has EVERYTHING, it will take you PLACES (literally), it's rewarding as fuck, has OCs to die for, just... just read it, ignore the WIP status, what's there is absolutely chef's kiss)

the unknown and static strange by @qqueenofhades (yes, again, listen, if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more bla bla bla) (Mature - WIP - 69K so far (nice) - Dubious AU status, Memento mets Academia, Modern day with a twist) Professor Robert Gadling, under cut rocking, weird dreams having, and trauma suffering, discovers a strange piece of undocumented art that seems to follow him everywhere he goes. The Regis Somnorum won't leave him alone, and as he tries to follow that thread, a whole mysterious tapestry unfolds, putting everything he knows, or thought he knew, into question. (This fic is a fucking delight, it's just KEEPS feeding you "oh shit" moments and suspense and revelations and the pacing just keeps you on the edge of your SEAT. Again, IGNORE the WIP status I BEG OF YOU, read it, devour it)

This Rough Magic by @avelera (Mature - WIP - 36k so far - Rescue fic with a twist) Hob Gadling never fancied himself a mage or a warlock, but dabbled enough in the occult to pick up a few tricks over the years, all in the hope to communicate with his Stranger. A stranger, he later discovers, who is trapped under Roderick The Fucking Magus Burgess's manor. Now, he may not be the best magic wielder there is.... but Burgess doesn't know that, does he? (There are some VERY clever things in this fic, everyone is written to a T, I love a fic where my loathing of Burgess can burn from the brightest flame and at the same time have him not like a cartoon villain but a full human being! Can't wait to see where that goes!)

if you just let me (have you, love you) by Lost_Elf (Explicit - 25k - Human AU - Adult Film Actors AU (I see you tumblr, restricting words these days, I see you) Both very prominent in their own niches of the Internet, Dom-BDSM-oriented Dream and Vanilla-centered Hob cross paths and plan what could be (or so their managers hope) the collab of the century. And they might learn a thing or two along the way. (Listen, I read this on a whim, I wasn't too into Human AUs at the time, I was up for some smut that day, and this fic is a LOT more wholesome than the subject lets on and really gripped me! Lots of very nice details in there! And also, you know.... smut)

by the minute by @issylra (Explicit - 11K - Human AU, Sex Phone Operator Dream) Dream has a bet with Desire : he has to manage a phone sex line for some time. He's not thrilled by it. Callers are... unimaginative and unoriginal, to say the least. Except one. He has a very nice voice. He's funny. And he sounds just about as lost as he is, in life. (The tags make it sound super raunchy but it's more about developping attraction through someone's voice and getting to know someone through the phone and falling in love and.... it's just lovely, it's very sweet, it's like a little blanket with a warm cup of tea, really)

Now I KNOW this is not what you EXPLICITELY asked for but.... dare I suggest..... something with an OC thrown in the mix? Cause that's just adding a fun player to the game, with added stakes, really!

as heart for heart, for loving me by @kittttycakes (hello darling) (Explicit - WIP but soon to be finished - 151k so far - Canon compliant - OT3 if there ever was one - How to polyamory, a guide for Dream of the Endless, a primordial being who needs to use his goddamn words) When Dream finds Hob at the New Inn, he's ready to open up a little. Be a friend. Be a little more than that, though he can't quite articulate it. The only issue with that is that Hob has a girlfriend. A live-in girlfriend. A very much serious girlfriend. Dream tries his darnest to hate her, and finds he can't quite bring himself to. (It's soft, it's lovely, it has angst, it has smut, it has fluff for days, it has developping relationships GALORE (plural) and it's just a nice read to switch up your rotation, cause the potential for situations is tripled now!)

#the sandman #sandman #dreamling #dream x hob #dream x hob gadling #fic recs #sandman fics #the sandman fics #sandman fanfiction #sandman recs #I'm waking my way through in the waking world we wait and we want cause i'm a fucking slow reader and it's a monster of a thing #but it's also v v v nice #my dyslexic brain is killing me but i'm still standing #anyway one day i'll make a rec of all the shorter e rated fics ive read for dreamling #cause there are a few and shorter fics also deserve a shoutout #you'll be BUSY dear asker #also thank you so much for asking me ????? idk where that came from but i'm FLATTERED #hope you havent read all of those already #but also that's me giving lil reviews to those writers cause!!! hey love yo work you know #also watch me write all those summaries and struggle to come up for ANYTHING when it comes to my own fics is2g #i'm the type of gal who reads one fic at a time so my reading list is fucking growing by the DAY

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

I was gonna post for WIP Wednesday yesterday, but uh.  I forgot it was Wednesday.  The extra day off has wreaked havoc on my mental schedule!  Anyway, Trying to Write Thursday, anyone?

*

“Let's not be mean girls, I guess,” Julia says with a little sigh. “I'll text her.” Margo, who loves being a mean girl, wrinkles her nose a little, but nods.

Phoebe is fine, actually. She's shy but funny, quirky but unpretentious. She's a librarian – not a Librarian, just the ordinary kind, she works in a charter school and belongs to a hedge co-op which is only sort of a polycule, but Eliot's pretty sure she and Q are exclusive at this point. The first time Q brought her to dinner with Eliot and Benicio, she wore a sundress that she made herself out of cloth patterned with all the classic Universal monster movie posters, which might have come off a touch brown-nosey when meeting a horror director, except that Phoebe's love of old horror movies is very genuine. Ben loved it; Ben loves her.

Quentin loves her. He hasn't said it yet, at least not when Eliot's been around to hear, but Eliot knows Quentin very, very well. He's in love, and that means that Phoebe is not going anywhere anytime soon.

Not that Eliot wants her to. There are – complicated aspects, of course, but he can't deny that she and Q seem suited to each other. She brings out something in him, a soft, relaxed kind of optimism and levity that Q has always been capable of, but historically it's been more the exception than the rule. Lately it's started to seem like the new normal, and Phoebe deserves a lot of the credit – maybe all of the credit. So of course she's staying, and if Eliot has to pinch and prod a little bit to get everyone else on the our new bestie Phoebe train, well, he is a diplomat by trade. Or he was. Anyway, he's still capable of a little social engineering, for a good cause.

#yeah it's that damn wedding story still #one of us is going to finish the other off someday #hth fic

[doexoeyes]

TASM!Peter Parker Love Triangle

Notes: Been thinking about this concept for a while, because TASM did come out during that YA love triangle era, so I wanted to do kind of an outline of how I would see that play out with the events of the movie. Doing this with bullet points cause I have too many wips that I never finish & this would be the quickest way to get it done 🤧

Warnings: None.

Pairing: Peter/ Gn!reader (no pronouns used)

- You’ve been best friends with Gwen since diapers, but you’re known for being complete polar opposite’s of each other.

- Gwen is of course the super intelligent, future class valedictorian and is absolutely beautiful. The perfect girl next door.

- You’re known for being sent to the principal’s office for your fair share of ‘incidents’, which include putting Flash in his place and calling out teachers when you thought they were being unfair. Perfectly misunderstood.

- “Are you kidding me? This is your 3rd detention this month. You’re starting to give me gray hairs,” Gwen comments once you arrive at your locker which was, of course, right next to hers.

- “Mr. Stevens hates me, ok. I don’t even know what I did this time. I think I just breathe and he automatically thinks I insulted him,” you grumble, back slumped against the locker door.

- “Well, maybe if you didn’t make it your absolute mission to humiliate him everyday, he wouldn’t be out to get you,” she states, putting her books away.

- “Well maybe if he actually graded me fairly and didn’t give me a D- on a paper that was clearly profound, then I wouldn’t have to call him out on his ridiculousness. Like really, a D- ? That shouldn’t even exist. Just give me a normal ‘D’ then, asshole.”

- “Wait a minute. A ‘D-‘? Really?” she looks at you, flabbergasted.

- You nod and Gwen slams her locker door closed. “I literally helped you with that paper! You’re totally right, he is an asshole. Forget him.”

- No matter what, at the end of the day, Gwen has always had your back, and you had her’s. You were inseparable.

- That was, until Peter Parker came into the picture.

- Listen, you had to forgive Peter for having individual crushes on the both of you.

- Yes, it made him feel like a complete tool, but to be honest, he liked you both for totally different reasons.

- He liked how smart and kind Gwen was. Her passion for academics and her self confidence was something he admired, along with the way she would wear her hair and the sweet smile on her face. She’d be the first person to raise her hand in class and the first one to help anyone that needed it. She was pretty much perfect.

- He liked you because you were anything but. You were unapologetically yourself, always standing your ground and not afraid to say what was on your mind, which was always funny or witty. You always wore the coolest t-shirts and he found your favorite pair of red sneakers adorable and he liked that, despite what you might think, you were actually very intelligent.

- Guilt aside, Peter didn’t think his crushes on the both of you even mattered, because it’s not like either of you were paying any attention to him.

- Until you did.

- And boy, was he in trouble.

- Gwen had come to his defense from Flash at the courtyard, and from then on, the playful flirtations and bashful interactions ensued.

- And you? The basketball court, where you were helping Missy Kallenback finish painting a banner.

- Flash being Flash, of course, just had to throw a ball at you two. And that got you fired up.

- “What’s your problem, Thompson?! Are you that inept that you can’t do the one thing you were bred to do? There goes the possibility of you having an actual future,” you fire back, clearly irritated.

- The whole gym whoops and hollers, Flash’s teammates making mock hissing sounds as if they had gotten burned. Flash’s eyes are on you now, nostrils flared and fists clenched.

- “At least I have a future. You’re going nowhere, you know that? Except maybe prison like you’re old man,” he says, laughing along with his buddies.

- You’re seething at this. Flash, along with the rest of the school, would bring up your dad’s incarceration every chance they got. It was the real reason why Mr. Steven’s was against you. Why people picked on you. Why no one saw your potential; You were looked down upon by everyone for your father’s mistakes.

- Except for Gwen.

- Gwen was always there for you, even offered her home and family to you whenever you needed it. She never treated you like your father’s actions reflected your own. She saw you for you and gave you the love and acceptance you always craved from everyone else.

- So you think of her before you make your next move because Gwen’s dream was always to walk the stage at graduation together, and you knew that if you punched the living daylights out of Flash now, that would never come true.

- So you choose to stay quiet, focusing on helping Missy clean up the mess of paint created by Flash’s ball. It’s a couple moments later that you notice the ball is coming your way once again, this time straight at you.

- Before you can move out of the way or even try to duck, two hands are in front of you, having caught the ball that was about to hit you square in the face.

- Peter Parker catches the ball with seemingly no effort and you look at him, completely shocked.

- He gives you a wink and ends up making a complete fool of Flash in your honor.

- It ends with him shattering the backboard behind the hoop completely.

- “Peter, right?” you call out, catching up to him after he exits the principal’s office. He’s with his uncle, who gives you a moment to speak alone, but not before revealing that Peter has a picture of you in his room.

- Peter bashfully claims that it’s because he takes pictures of the school’s clubs for the yearbook committee.

- “But I’m not in any clubs…” you claim with furrowed brows.

- “Then maybe it’s about time you join one. Extracurriculars look great on college applications,” Peter suggests, clearly embarrassed and trying to make a joke out of a situation he wished he was spared from.

- Despite catching him on his lie, you find his attempt amusing, so you let it go.

- “You might not know me that well. We don’t really have many classes together because you’re a boy genius, and I’m not, but I’m still smart enough to know that what you did back there wasn’t humanly possible. So, what are you hiding, Peter Parker?” you ask with folded arms across your chest, a suspicious look on your face.

- At first he just looks at you, completely at a loss for words as he tries to mask his nervousness with a laugh.

- He then comes up with a very Peter-like answer and says “I drink a lot of milk. You know, great source of calcium. Builds strong bones.”

- And of course, you don’t buy this. Not even for a second. But you choose to let it go, because in truth, you always had the tiniest little crush on him, having spotted him skating around the school.

- He also never picked on you. In fact, now that you thought about it, you were both kindred spirits. Both misunderstood and mistreated by those around you.

- “Thank you, for what you did back there. I know you probably got into serious trouble, but it really meant a lot to me. Plus, Thompson definitely deserved that ego check.”

- “It’s not a big deal. Honestly, you’re always the first person to stand up for everybody else. It’s about time someone did the same,” he says, instinctively moving closer to you with every word.

- “And what Flash said back there is wrong. You’re going to have a future that’s way brighter than anyone else’s here. I know it. ”

- This makes your cheeks heat up as a warmth surges through your chest.

- Peter makes you feel like you’re walking on air instead of into a battlefield like everyone else does.

- “Hey, would you like to…? Or if not..we could…instead…maybe?” Peter’s cheeks are pink and he doesn’t finish the sentences that he tries to stammer out, but you know exactly what he’s trying to say, and you feel butterflies fluttering around in your stomach.

- Peter Parker was cute. Very cute. And sweet. And smart. And chivalrous. And the list could go on, really. If he was asking you out, you would say yes in a heartbeat.

- But just as the words are starting to come out properly, Peter pauses once he spots Gwen walking down the hallway.

- And that’s when it hits him.

- He was so screwed.

- He apologizes to you and says his uncle’s waiting for him and then just leaves you in the hallway, frozen in place, completely confused.

- And you’re also hurt because you’re not exactly sure what you did wrong to make Peter run away like that.

- “Was that Peter?” Gwen asks, appearing from behind you.

- “Yeah…he’s umm, he’s really weird, isn’t he?”

- “I think he’s kinda cute. I might ask him to come over one of these days,” she admits, and that’s when your eyes widen.

- Oh.

- Peter and Gwen.

- Got it.

- Makes perfect sense.

- So of course you back off from then on because Gwen is your best friend in the entire world and no stupid boy is going to get in the way of that.

- And Peter and Gwen are perfect for each other anyways, so you’re happy to sit by the sidelines and let them be together because they’re truly meant to be.

- It’s a bit awkward at first and sure it stings just a little, but hey, you’ve been through worse.

- On Peter’s end though, he’s just overwhelmed with everything else he has to deal with. The death of his uncle Ben really brings him down and eats him up. He obsess over it for a bit till he finally comes to the understanding that in order to move on, he needs to do better.

- So he puts all his energy and focus into being Spider-Man, which then consumes his entire time because there’s now a giant lizard running amuck in the city.

- And then of course there was the question of both you and Gwen; Who did he like more?

- It would mess with his head relentlessly in school, although lately he’s starting to think that you were never interested in the first place because of how distant and dry you’ve been.

- You barely acknowledged him, even when he approaches you at school and when he came up to your table at lunch, you immediately got up to leave, claiming you had to stop by the library.

- With your absence though, he’s able to get closer to Gwen, and he’s starting to think that she’s the one he’s supposed to be with. His feelings for her grow and in turn they become closer. He has plans to go over to her place one night for dinner and considers finally confessing his feelings for her, but something else changes his plans while he’s on patrol that night.

- You should know better than to go into a creepy dark alley.

- I mean come on, it’s a creepy dark alley in New York! Did you have a death wish or something?

- So he watches you from above the building because he knows there’s a chance something might go wrong.

- And as if on cue, a group of troublesome men trail behind you, and he knows for sure they’re up to know good.

- He doesn’t even think, just jumps right down once one of the men grabs and pulls you by your wrist.

- Peter is just straight up pissed when he hears them calling you insulting names, so he punches the one with the big mouth hard on the face, and he doesn’t care if he possibly broke his nose.

- He deserves it.

- After kicking all their asses in less then 3 seconds, he webs them all together to the wall, where he’s sure the police will find them.

- When he turns to you, however, his anger and adrenaline completely fades.

- Your chest is heaving, eyes glossy, and he’s never seen you look so small before.

- You were terrified. If it wasn’t for Spider-Man, who knows what might have happened to you? So the tears fall down your cheeks as you spill out multiple apologies to him.

- Peter, shakes his head and immediately tries to comfort you.

- “Hey, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I’m sorry that happened. But you’re okay now, I promise.”

- You’re visibly shaking so without thinking he embraces you, hoping to keep you steady. He feels you stiffen at this, but just as he’s about to pull away, your arms wrap themselves around him as you cry into his chest.

- You’re like that for a while, Peter just letting you spill it all out, because he knows it’s much more than you being shaken up. He knows the constant mask you put on for others, acting like you’re unbothered and above it all. He knows you act strong, but that facade shouldn’t last forever, and you deserved to be honest and vulnerable with yourself.

- Personally, he thought you deserved the world.

- “Eww, gross. I’m crying on a stranger wearing latex,” you jokingly say after a moment, sniffling.

- “Hey, I’ll have you know it’s actually spandex, ok.”

- You pull away and Peter has to fight every urge not to pull you back into his arms.

- “Seriously though, thank you. You probably saved my life.”

- “It’s not a big deal. Honestly. That’s my job as your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”

- There’s something in the way that he says that that clicks in your head and you realize that Spider-Man seems a little familiar…

- You don’t make that obvious to him though.

- So Peter goes home, sneaks into his room, through his window, and is in the middle of taking off his suit when he starts to feel like someone is watching him.

- He turns around and there you are, sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes as wide as saucers.

- You stand up, mouth wide open as you begin to scream “Oh my god, you’re Spide-!” but Peter shoots a web right at you, pulling you into him and smashes his lips on yours.

- You’re stiff until your eyes slowly flutter close and you melt into the kiss, completely forgetting what had just transpired. It isn’t until Peter himself pulls away that you realize what had just happened.

- “Did you just…kiss me to shut me up?” you ask, dazed.

- “It worked, didn’t it,” he teases, voice soft as he rests his forehead against yours.

- Turns out, you had come to his house to talk to him because ever since the incident in the alley with Spidey, you couldn’t shake the feeling off that he felt a little too familiar. And given what had happened at the gym with the shattered hoop, putting 2 and 2 together wasn’t that hard.

- He tells you about it all; the spider that bit him, Dr. Connors turning into a lizard creature, even about his guilt over Uncle Ben’s death.

- You’re easy to open up to, and he’s comforted by the way you listen and reassure him, especially since, mid talk, you ask Peter for his first aid kit and start to help patch him up.

- After talking for a bit, Peter leans in to kiss you once more, but just as you’re lips are about to meet, you pull away.

- “N-no. I’m sorry. Gwen. She…she really likes you, Peter.”

- The guilt consumes you and Peter closes his eyes, the realization hitting him as well.

- “I’m not going to do this. She’s the most important person in the world to me. And you guys go really well together. I know that you like her, too. I see it. And I’m not mad, I mean I get it. It’s just…I don’t want to be the one that gets in the way of that.”

- He looks at you, a pained expression on his face, because why would you think that you’re just something that’s getting in the way when you were so much more?

- He tries to say something, anything to get you to understand, but the words fall short and he doesn’t want to make you feel worse than you already did.

- So he lets you leave and he begins to understand that he needs to stop being an idiot and make his choice. He thinks about you and Gwen and he tries to ignore the icky feeling he has because he respects you both too much to put you in this situation, but he knows a choice has to be made.

- And he finally makes his decision that night, because he realizes it’s not a tough one to make.

- He intends to make it known the next day, picking up flowers from a local floral shop to bring to school, but then Dr. Connors had to crash in and ruin everything.

- As the entire school runs out of the building, you go to find Peter.

- “What are you doing here?! Get out, you’re gonna get hurt!” he shouts at you.

- God you’re too stubborn for your own good.

- “You need to tell Gwen! About you. About Connors. She works at Oscorp, she can maybe get you a serum or something!”

- He hates that you’re right. But with no time to tell Gwen himself, he gives you the ok to fill her in, and continues to focus on getting the lizard out of the building.

- And everything seems to go according to plan, until he gets a call from you.

- “Dr. Connors is at Oscorp and Gwen is still in there!” your voice is shrill and panicked filled and Peter feels his breath catch in his throat.

- No no no no.

- “Peter please, please you need to get her out of there.”

- He can hear that you’re crying on the other end, and it adds to his own panic.

- You were consumed with fear and guilt because you were the one that put Gwen in the middle of this.

- You had never known real fear till the life of your best friend came into question. The incident in the alleyway was nothing compared to this.

- Peter’s mind is racing, blood pumping rapidly. He needs to get Gwen out. He needs to save all of New York. He needs to make sure you’re okay. It’s all too much to deal with.

- His run-in with Captain Stacy doesn’t make it any easier.

- At the end of the day though, Peter accomplishes all those things. He defeats Dr. Connors and Gwen is safe and reunited with you as a crowd of people gathered below the Oscorp building.

- But Captain Stacy had died and Peter can’t help but feel like it’s his fault.

- Time moves fast yet stands still at the same time. There’s a funeral for Gwen’s father, but Peter can’t find it in him to attend. The guilt is too much.

- He watches from afar, however, and he spots the both of you together, you visibly comforting a crying Gwen.

- It breaks his heart.

- And this is when he decides that he’s going to leave the two of you alone.

- Because he can’t risk losing either one of you, or have you losing each other.

- He tries his best to ignore you both at school, doesn’t answer the phone and declines any visits May announces are for him.

- He puts his whole mind and body into his work as Spider-Man.

- Still, he sometimes imagines what it would have been like if he had gotten the chance that day to tell you that he wanted, more than anything, to be with you.

- It ends up being one of the things he thinks back to when he’s in need of motivation.

- On the days where being Spider-Man was the hardest, he pretends that he needs to make it through the night so he can come home to you.

#tasm!peter x reader #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #tasm!spiderman x reader #tasm!peter parker #peter parker imagine #marvel imagine #andrew garfield x reader #peter parker x you #tasm!peter x y/n #spiderman imagine #tasm fic #tasm imagine #tasm peter parker #Spotify

[pashminalamb]

If you make an another account will you be posting it? You know so I can immediately follow and all 😁. And same I’ve always been a loner too. There have been a few exceptions though. But the past year taught me a lot about friendships so I’m just working on myself this year. It’s kind of lonely but at the same time really peaceful? I think I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time. Yeah the lack of friends and companions makes things lonely but it’s not something that I’ll let break me anymore. I know I’m stronger than that now. Someone’s I think online people are easier to interact with because there’s no attachments?? Like if they left me I can assume something happened or they decided to go offline but I know for sure (mostly) it’s not my fault you know? And people online are just so much kinder in general. Not that I interact a bunch of people online, just a few, but that’s just my experience so far. Didn’t mean to go off on a rant there my bad 😅.

And don’t apologize for closing the chat box!! It’s completely understandable. As kind as people can be online there are still a bunch of creeps out here 🤢. So pls stay safe!!

YOUR SCREENSAVER?!??! ASDGKKGFFGG MY BABY HE LOOKS SO PRETTY. Also I’ve only recently gotten a Haitani brothers brainrot so like that’s a big factor atm 💀💀. OH there’s this one artist that posts her drawings in insta and tiktok abt TR and they look amazing and are so freaking funny I end up clutching my stomach every time 💀😭😂.

Here’s one of them

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRCVqAnf/

I’ve posted a few things on my blog but only drabbles really. I’ve been wanting to start doing analysis’s for a long time but I never got around to it. Just like character analysis’s and relationship analysis’s and story arcs and all that jazz. I love all of it. And in my opinion the best stories are the ones where the characters are what drive the plot of the story. TR did an amazing job of doing this and it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with the story in the first place almost immediately.

That one illuminati ask was…. something 💀.

Comfort fics are my favorite and the ones that explore real experiences and feelings and aren’t just a colt bf paste of the same words really do it for me.

Thank youuuu ☺️!!! Yeah my blogs a mess but I have so much fun with it. I haven’t posted anything in a while tho and I’m thinking about starting character analysis’s posts first. I’ll probably brainstorm over winter break. Which cant come soon enough btw. I have so many ideas for stories (besides fics I mean) and I wanna warm up and practice with tumblr.

Emperor! Izana ehhhh 👀👀?? Don’t worry I can wait. I can be patient when I want to be 😌. And the 30+ WIPS?? I felt that 😭😭. I don’t even wanna look at all the almost blank documents where I speed typed like 30 words at 3 am and when back to sleep 💀💀.

REOOOOOO!!! See like Nagi is also very adorable. And Barou has been growing on me lately 👀. See what I’m doing with blue lock now is just being spoiled left and right. I gave up trying to avoid spoilers (my lack of patience really shined through here) so now I see a post abt a match point or a duo breaking up in the manga and I’m like WAIT WHAT and then just don’t read the manga 💀💀. I WILL (eventually) soon but after the first season ends.

I love love love analyzing people and hearing their stories and learning things through experience. Which is really rich cause Im not good with talking to people and I never leave the house 💀💀. You can see my problem 😭😭.

How’s reading TR going? 👀👀

Ohhh I’ll check out those recs.

What did you think of the new episode of Chainsaw Man? Shit really hit the fan after the first 5 minutes 💀💀.

You should’ve told the guy where you found the picture so that he could save it as his wallpaper if he liked it so much 😌🙄.

Also can I mention how much I love the headers you put at the end of each ask? Like they’re so adorable and cute and thoughtful. I just wanted to say I really appreciate them!!! You’re so sweet ❤️❤️.

As for me, I’m currently in the library waiting for my next class to start. I took a tumblr break after eating lunch. My professor just made a big essay optional and extra credit because he wants us to review for our last unit test and midterm throughly. SO LIKE HECK YEAH!!! But also I already have an outline for it so I’m debating if the 10 point extra credit on our midterm is worth the extra work or not.

How’s your day going? Papers are rough but you got this 😤😤!!! Don’t forget to take breaks and eat something and drink water today okay??? *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Kinda want to announce it so that I don’t seem sus - but I also wanna be discreet abt it so that I can interact with people who wanna message me (in priv) and not people who want a part 2 of something from me ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა (please I get that you guys don’t wanna be left on a cliffhanger - but. I have a life outside tumblr and left with less hours to write. And if you want quality, you’re gonna have to wait. Pushing me isn’t gonna work cause you’re gonna be disappointed with the end result and so will I) you’ll be able to tell it’s me cause I will say this - it’s a TR username - I have two of them in mind and I can’t figure which one I want more cause the one I got represents me in whole and the other is a guy who’s high (ikyk)

Yeah, it gets lonely here- but at least it’s peaceful; I follow a few blogs - mostly art + JJBA updates (and I’m super excited to check out the new eps of stone ocean) interaction wise... i have tried it out before, but none of them lasted long. what hurt me the most was when i was trying to be genuine abt something and writers here (not all but some) are really closed off yk? like they're fine interacting with friends but are really selective with new people? cause of that i just gave up interacting with them altogether and after my ideas got taken and neither was anything being reciprocated back on my blog by them despite us following each other- cause it goes both ways and if its just me, i wont do it anymore. my experience online hasn't been that great except with the upload of fics... and the only interaction i would get was comments or going through tags that was included by the person who reblogged it- but with recent developments, a lot of that has changed and i'm comfortable talking to people now ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

Oh yea definitely. Safety is super important to me - that's why i never reveal too much about myself just small things cause you can't be completely safe on the internet- like when i was still a small time writer i got followed by a spanking account (istg the way my eyes widened when i saw it; and it wasn't even the kinky variety- it was traditional method of disciplining someone) - won't go much into detail about it but yeah i ended up blocking him. And now that i think abt it he must've read my hanma fic - but still (T.T)

Rindou is so pretty- i. he looked at me on the train (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

Unfortunately, I don't use tiktok. I used to be there - but i realized that i wasted a lot of time with endless scrolling, some of the content had received a lot of likes despite there not being enough effort? not to mention my ex's friends came to troll me through that app. I deleted my account and as i got older, i decided to never go back - so now i just stick to pinterest, twitter and instagram with the latter two being purely for uni reasons. so yeah i'm not much of a social media kinda person - and yeah i live under a rock and i'm ancient (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

Oh yeah when characters take the drive and the plot goes ahead is a different thing altogether - and i agree. like even in tr, i was really surprised to see the turn of events and character development - especially Kazutora and yeah i saw the drabbles (didn't get to read them cause i haven't watched one piece but maybe i should soon) - glad to know that you're a woman of culture for liking ace cause i like him as well - despite not watching the anime (is a zoro fan as well) and now i wanna change the theme of my blog as well- thinking if i should go with beige, sage green or blue- gonna see how this pans out

that illuminati ask had me dead- and i was just laughing from confusion and saying that idk who was a part of project and conspiracies- it's gonna be an inside joke on the blog 😂

Oh yeah emperor Izana - very fitting for his image tbh; and literally- when its time to write, it is time to write and lately i've been feeling the word "cold" a lot which added to True north Aiku's part (yes i will talk abt my husband- and apparently he's set a standard for me in men too shaggy hair with a mullet minus the side shave + scruff/ 5 o clock shadow) I haven't watched the latest of bllk - i read the new chapter though - not much action but Isagi's development; and you found out abt a duo breaking up- ૮₍•᷄ ࡇ •᷅₎ა dw tho - there are more pairings that come in and you'll get to see Barou with his hair down- p hot ngl .What i really really pray for is aiku getting animated (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) i wanna see him touch him feel him (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

TR reading - might start uploading manga panels soon and i still like Senju/ Senjuu - she's like me (๑>ᴗ<๑) (although i know some ppl would disagree- i'm curious to see what character would you relate me to tho)

And i forgot to add that i read philosophy as well - i'm all over the place tbh - one of my favs is tuesdays with morrie. Its a sad book but totally worth the read.

I haven't watched chainsaw man just read the manga- but i think i should start watching that cause mappa did a good job with it and honestly- the animation looks very different than their usual (i was roped into re-watching aot - likes reiner and porco )

Ty fur liking the headers- (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) i'm gonna put them for every ask - might start putting webtoon ones too

Oof good luck on the review!

So, i wrote the review and the prof liked it a lot- i got summoned to the archival section of the library - the books there are so old and dusty and i'm working on a research paper with my prof (had to wash my hand three times to get the dust off and i'm thinking of carrying surgical gloves for this-)

I hope your say is going well too, starry!

I do not regret sending cursed images I found on Pinterest

#Belle.☏ #.lost sheep : ✨ anon

[elfboyeros]

Ninjago Next Gen Ocs... Cause I'm Bored

This is my account I can do what I want! Cole doesn't have children cause I headcanon him as Ace 🤗. I gotta wip with these children that I have no idea if I'll finish but IDK let's do this cause why not.

The context for the wip: Zane is Sensei, Lloyd is missing, Pixal is constantly looking for Lloyd, and the others is in retirement except for Cole who is in Shintro being Vania's bodyguard.

Gwendolyn, Zero, and Haven or the triples. Zane and Pixal's kids, if you couldn't tell.

Gwendolyn: Gwendolyn is often touted as the carbon copy of her mother given her looks, which are do to the fact that Pixal and Zane used old blueprints of Pixal's as a base for her. Granted she act's like her father. Cold as ice but incredibly kind! She is the next master of ice although the elemental is spilt between herself and her father do to an accident when trying to pass the power down. Preferring to use handbtonhand combat, one of Zane's old bows and specially made arrows Haven's made, Gwendolyn is fine with the small amount of elemental power she had, don't want any more of it, and doesn't want to talk about the accident. She is a constant worrier, worrying about anyone and everyone, especially her parents.

Zero: Or Zane Jr. Same deal as Gwendolyn but it's Zane this time. Although Zero tired of being compared to his father so much so that he gave himself the name Zero and everyone just went along with it. He is easily agitated, often getting in arguments with anyone that isn't his parents or actual siblings. Zero does have a soft interior though, enjoy everything that isn't people and find comfort in animals. One could call him the next Samurai x or Samurai Z if you will, given the fact that he is a big momma's boy and has an extreme amount of love and respect for both his parents both Pixal in particular. He's a boy that misses his mom like a lot!

Haven: One is surprised when they find out that Haven is Pixal and Zane's child. They are excitable over the smallest things, funny, always happy, and looking on the bright side of things. Get Haven next to her parents though, she looks like a perfect combo of the two of them minus the purple hair, which she did to herself. Haven is the resident inventor for the next-gen kids, often acting as a guide and fix-it man for the others. Cole has offered to give Haven the element power of Earth, but Zane is, honestly, too scared to try. Given the fact that Gwendolyn didn't take to his elemental power that will, and he feels he's to blame. Haven would like to be the new master of the earth, but respects her father's wishes and doesn't push the issue... that often.

(We are going to overlook the fact that Nya in Canon is the sea... haha... next-gen kids!!!)

Tyrone and Opal or the twins. Jay and Nya's kids!

Tyrone: Dude, he's Jay but without the anxiety issues and a huge thing for getting into trouble. He is the new master of lightning and he's got good control of his powers, minus the hurting himself, but that's only if he uses his powers a lot. He's the one Zero has gotten into a few fistfights with, given his pranking ways that go too far at times. He's a video game nerd like his pops and is the one who sends the kids memes at 3 a.m. because he is a natural night owl. He enjoys it when his parents visit and constantly goes to his grandparent's junkyard to get Haven spare parts for random shit.

Opal: She doesn't wanna be here. Opal is incredibly shy, keeps to herself most of the time, does not want to bother anyone, and rarely ever speaks. Though she is the new master of water and local music enthusiast. Opal literally just wants to go back home. She doesn't wanna be a ninja and, slightly, resents both Jay and Nya for making her go to the monastery with her brother, so they could train under Zane's tutelage. Dispute not wanting to be a ninja, Opal is not one to back down and just give up, so get gives her a great talent for combat and use of her power.

Drew. Kai and Skylor's kid.

Drew is for the most part mellow and relaxed for being the new master of fire. Disliking the early training schedule, but enjoying being a ninja because it's fun to be powerful. Everything is about good vibes, and annoying her father ever so slightly with bad jokes and pranks when he comes to visit. Drew is all about fun and playing with fire, maybe committing arson.

Wren, Lloyd's child.

The youngest of the next-gen kids, they can't remember when they arrived at the monastery nor do they know who their parents are. All they know is that they have the power of energy and they kinda look like this savior dude name Lloyd Garmadon. Wren is the person that is into true crime but with their own lives, trying to figure out where they came from and being a ninja most of the time. The other ninja, Pixal, and even the triples know that Lloyd is Wren's father, but don't have the guts to tell them given the fact that he's been missing for such a long time. They call Zane dad from time to time because he basically raised them, and literally just wants to know who the hell their parents are and why they were left with Zane in the first place.

Idk ask me stuff about them.

#ninjago #ninjago oc #ninjago ocs #ninjago next gen #pixane #kailor #jaya #lloyd #ninjago aesthetics #moodboards #cole #thoughts?

[rebelpeas]

BAM QUESTIONS

✨ 🎶 🎯 🤲 🤡

HI QWERTY thanks for the questions! i skipped two that i have already answered (✨ and 🤡) this time bc im sleeby tonight 😴

🎶 - Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

i cannot write without music LOL i make playlists for my long wips and try to only listen to those songs while i’m working on the wip, so it’s a sort of “sit down and focus” soundtrack. for oneshots i tend to loop just one song the whole time i’m writing. lately, i’ve been listening to fold i by motherfolk and chinese satellite by phoebe bridger!

🎯 - Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

shoutout to the mine theory truthers of devil town! i think at least one person had guessed every reveal, twist, or plot point in devil town by the time we got to the end, with the one exception of (SPOILERS) wilbur being involved in quackity’s dad’s death in any capacity, or, like. anything about karl. i did not see anybody guess that, which was kind of funny and i suspect is probably part of the reason chapter eleven ended up being the most memorable scene in that fic.

also. you with a certain character in footnotes LMAO but you know this

🤲 - Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

this is less of a snippet and more of An Entire Scene because i couldn’t decide which part to grab and just got. all of it. but here is a 500 word chunk from act two of pds 70b for you! warnings ahead for discussions of unreality and death.

“I think I’m going to die in this car,” Wilbur tells Tommy, who is sprawled out across a blanket with one arm over his eyes. It’s just shy of noon; the sun beats down above them, shielded only by the overhang of the building they’ve stopped at for the day. The teenager raises the corner of his lip in the tired approximation of a grossed-out sneer.

“What?”

Wilbur thinks he was pretty obvious the first time. “I’m just gonna keep driving it around until it breaks. Then I’ll live out of it wherever it stops, and eventually I’ll die there. Gonna die in the car. Be buried in it. It’s my tomb, all decorated already and everything.”

This causes Tommy to lift his arm, blue eyes finding Wilbur’s with a scowl. “Has anyone ever told you, you’re fucking morbid?”

“I don’t know,” Wilbur says. “My memory’s bad. That’s insensitive.”

“Fuck you,” Tommy says without a bit of venom to it. He settles back down. “Stop talking about death and let me nap, would you?”

“Okay.” Wilbur puts his back against the wall. “What about you?”

Tommy heaves a sigh and Wilbur can hear the eyeroll that goes with it. “I’m never going to die, actually.”

“No,” Wilbur corrects. “What’ll you do when the car breaks?”

A silent pause hangs between them.

“Well,” Tomm starts, slowly. “I imagine it’ll still be a good while til that happens. Told you, Tubbo’s good with cars. A right mechanic. He’ll keep it moving, and we can go wherever. See who else we can find that’s still around. Oh, we could start a–what’s the word, for like, end of the world shit?”

“What?”

“A community,” Tommy says. “With survivors. We can start farms.”

“I don’t think plants have been growing.”

“What? Oh.” Tommy frowns. “Well, maybe they just need different conditions. We can figure it out.” And after a moment, “How haven’t plants been growing? That doesn’t make any sense. They haven’t died.”

Wilbur shrugs. “You ask the apocalypse how it all works. I haven’t the slightest clue.”

Tommy covers his face again. “I’ll ask tomorrow. Goodnight, Wilbur.”

Wilbur lets him sleep this time. After a few moments, Tommy’s breathing slows into something slow, heavy, and even. He’s a quiet sleeper, whether that’s in the passenger seat of Wilbur’s car or on a blanket in an empty hotel’s lobby, just by the doors where an occasional breeze blows through. The breeze is louder than Tommy’s breathing sometimes.

It startles Wilbur the first time he mixes up the wind for someone breathing. Then it gets stuck in his head. He keeps looking over, half-expecting for Tommy to be gone and to be alone again. Even after the night spent driving together, and the morning spent together scrounging for supplies and finding a cool enough place to sleep, Wilbur still doesn’t quite believe that Tommy is real.

Doesn’t quite believe he’s going to stay.

Tommy is some sort of ghost, he’s pretty sure. Something like a sketchbook high above a canyon, or a name written on a calendar, or a wallet sitting on his dashboard, only a little more tangible. A little louder, when he’s awake, and a little more insistent about it.

So Tommy is the last dredges of Wilbur’s sanity trying to survive, one last-ditch effort to wake himself up and get back into the car and start driving, again, and again, and again. Maybe he isn’t even alive. Maybe it’d worked, back at the canyon–maybe this is just the hallucinated last moments of Wilbur’s life, played through in vivid detail.

Maybe nothing’s real. Maybe trees never fall if no one is there to see it go. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Tommy is still asleep. One arm over his eyes; blonde hair spilled over maroon carpet. His chest continues to rise and fall. Real or otherwise.

Wilbur dozes off just behind him, and he dreams of something dark in between glittering lights and velvet fabric bundled up inside of his chest.

#ask box #qwerty tag

[animedoragon]

A friend dragged me into the ENA verse, I became feral and, naturally, shoved it with my other favorite thing and made a new thing. Therefore here’s some ramblings about Bleach in a fever dream, some doodles and a wip just because I have no self control

TWs: glitch stuff, severe mental health issues because of course they’re fucked in the head, probably drugs

So first off I’m unsure if I want both gangs to meet but it would be an interesting interaction to see the broken mind that’s Ena causing havoc with Ichigo and his existential crisis, lost in that equally broken world

Since it is a dream world, I can see something going down with either Kisuke or Mayuri that puts someone of the gang in a trance and traps their minds there-- originally this comes from a game literally called LSD Dream Emulator, so, it wouldn’t be too much of a wild take if someone consumed forbidden substances and might go insane if they stay there for too long

Obviously hero Ichigo & co. kicks in, as always without measuring the kind of consequences this could have on everyone’s psyche after Kisuke/Mayuri’s warning of how this could be very, very bad for their brains if they’re not careful

Whoever thought they would arrive together to that collective fever dream was an idiot and obviously they’re all separated. I’m counting with Ichigo, Chad, Uryu, Orihime and maybe Rukia and Renji in this one btw

Nothing there makes sense and that immediately affects everyone. From Ichigo’s POV he realizes right away something’s wrong when he feels his mind split and his hollow/Shiro’s personality coming through very intensely

His thoughts also become really loud and he couldn’t help but have a mental breakdown when he finally found someone to talk to and ask for directions, all his fears and insecurities came through and he screamed and glitched without control. And then he was fine. Nothing happened here let’s move on

It takes him a bit to notice he had a breakdown at all and obviously no one else really minds nor bothers to point it out. He also notices he’s had some blackouts too when he felt in danger and starts to question if that was his hollow’s doing (yes it was)

He doesn’t know Shiro/his hollow is having bursts of rage and taking over whenever a chance arises, if Ichigo feels threatened or is scared for any reason, he will come out and he will commit the equivalent of murder in the fever dream. He’s also not aware his face changes when those happen: in a neutral state he has half of both, if Ichigo has a breakdown his face looks fully like his but crying very intensely and glitching, and if Shiro has an outburst it looks like his hollow mask with horns and with two mouths (he’s the one I’ve doodled the most lol)

It would be funny if he stumbled upon the four legged guard from Extinction Party and they deemed his threat level as extremely dangerous

Now the point where things really go wrong would be when he finally finds either one or all of his friends

None of them have full control of themselves in there and the longer they’ve stayed, the more it’s been chipping away at their sanity, so no one is fully awake by the time they meet and they all start saying things they mean but are not supposed to say

So it’s the first time Ichigo hears directly from them that they love him and he’s the best friend they could’ve ever asked for, but JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST ICHIGO WE LITERALLY CAN’T BEAR WITH THE STRESS OF THINKING YOU MIGHT DIE ONE OF THESE DAYS BECAUSE OF HOW OBSESSED YOU ARE WITH PROTECTING EVERYONE EXCEPT YOURSELF

They’re not mad at him, but the time they’ve spent in there has almost completely eliminated their filter and he’s finally seeing just how bad it’s been for them to be his friends

...which could also be mistaken for “look what being your friend has done to us”

They do call him selfish at certain points for unconsciously dragging everyone else to his fights (cue Chad and Ishida almost dying certain times, cue Rukia wanting to die but Ichigo not letting her, etc)

If they push Ichigo to his limit he might as well have his own outburst or breakdown in front of them and spit out some not nice thoughts he’s had about himself, or even about them. If it’s Shiro taking the front seat, he won’t hold back on screaming at them and telling them they’re the reason he’s had to revive Ichigo in the past or show up to save his ass, because they’re all too pathetic to protect themselves and need their hero to give up everything for them, even his own life

And that’s where I’m at rn. The point where they’re gonna very unhealthily yell at each other and release all the shit they’ve held back. Now I just gotta figure out how badly that’s going to affect them and if there’s any chance they can escape the fever dream at all after breaking each other like that

In case it’s not obvious I’m very excited to make everyone suffer <3

#Bleach #ena #lsd dream emulator #ichigo kurosaki #I have severe brainrot

[peageetibbs]

Ich habe 1.248 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

21 Einträge erstellt (2%)

1.227 Einträge gerebloggt (98%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@meetinginsamarra

@helloliriels

@ohlooktheresabee

@delightful-fear

@discordantwords

Ich habe 1.238 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

Nur 1% meiner Einträge hatte keine Tags

#sherlock – 797 Einträge

#sherlock fanart – 620 Einträge

#johnlock – 173 Einträge

#sherlock fanfiction – 150 Einträge

#benedict cumberbatch – 117 Einträge

#funny stuff – 93 Einträge

#movies – 85 Einträge

#personal stuff – 58 Einträge

#fanfic art – 54 Einträge

#fanart – 49 Einträge

Längstes Tag: 48 characters

#brother mine - if you ever read this - i´m sorry

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

I bought a little Bougainvillea bush for my dad´s garden and I swear it keeps staring at me:

The little fella on the top left kinda looks like a little pink Jawa...

One of them was outright yelling at me:

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

13 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 5. Juni 2022

#4

@khorazir I received your Christmas card and added it to my Christmas collage I´ve been building over the last few years with your amazing drawings (and the lovely cards from my dear friend @meetinginsamarra) and I feel it´s really telling a story (and not the Nativity story...😉). My record player which has to provide the space for it is getting a bit crowded by now..,  I also donated to my local food bank as you requested. TYSM for spreading Christmas spirit every year. Long live our fandom and a contemplative Advent season to you all!

16 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 2. Dezember 2022

#3

Currently watching a rerun of “Twister” in German Free TV. Just saw the flying cow and considered for the umpteenth time breaking my fanfic rule about not starting a WIP and finally reading @discordantwords´s “Whirlwind”... damn, so tempted... 🌪🌪🌪🌪🌪😵

27 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 7. Mai 2022

#2

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

28 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 11. Dezember 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

152 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 23. November 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

Well, since everybody is doing their review, I´ll post, too. Nothing out of the ordinary here, except that for my primarily Sherlock-centered blog it´s kinda strange that only two of my Top-5-posts feature Sherlock in any kind... Well, there is this other handsome dark-haired Brit who came into my view just some month ago and who may have caused some distraction...🤔😁😉 Guess he isn´t going anywhere in the forseeable future, so you may keep seeing him occasionally on my blog...

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[rainmothseventeen]

If Sarah were here 2

Edited 13/4/24

Part 2.1-2.4

This is a WIP and extra parts may be added to it later.

2.1 - Monday, 4:53:

Jasper’s rolled over and is facing away from me. I think he’s awake because I can hear him crying quietly. Like he doesn’t want me to hear him. He does this a lot. And everytime I want to ask him what’s wrong. And everytime I say nothing.

2.2 - Monday, 8:47: I blink myself awake properly this time. Jasper’s sitting up next to me on the matress. He looks bored. His eyes foccussd on his hands. He’s playing with his lighter, flicking it on and off, watching the flame dance and die and come alive again. I place down my arms and shift myself into a sitting position.

“Hey, you want breakfast?” His voice is low and quiet like he’s trying to make up for something, like he’s trying to be kind, it reminds me of how he spoke to me in high school.

I shake my head. He hands me a muesli bar from a box on the ground anyway.

“You need to eat,” he says. He never really got it. But I guess that’s just Jasper. He likes running away but he doesn’t get it when I run from myself. I take slow bites. It’s sweet and nice and chewy. The sweetness seems to seep out as I chew, mix with my spit. I lean on Jasper’s shoulder, and he puts the lighter away and looks out the window. He looks at the window a little like how he looked at Sarah. He doesn’t know how she works, and he’s just watching, trying to find something.

I finish my muesli bar and tell him. We get up and out and leave the car behind, crumbs on the mattress.

Sticks crunch under my feet and leaves compact and turn to goo as we start to walk through the trees, down the path to the river. He starts talking.

“How did you sleep last night?” “I slept ok. It was kinda cold though.” He nods. “Same. I woke up at, like, one after the wildest dream. I think I was at a baseball game with my dad but it was at my childhood home, except it wasn’t in the way that everything is and isn’t in dreams. You know what I mean. And yeah, uh.”

“Why was it weird?”

“It was weird ‘cause I got along with my dad.”

I laugh a little and he smiles at me and laughs with me. “You laugh like a kid, Bailey.” “Do I?” Sarah used to say that. That I laugh like a kid. “Yeah… we’re nearly at the river. We’ll be there in, like, ten minutes tops,” he says. I nod.

We end up at the river twelve minutes later. We’re far past the stage where silence becomes comfortable so we just walked and looked around at the trees as the sky and the ground and our hands. I get very fidgety when I’m not talking, which is most of the time. But at least the quiet felt comfortable.

The water pushed itself over the stones at the bottom of the riverbed, tumbling over itself. It lapped at the bank, smoothing it over. I want to be the stones by the river, drowned and smoothed over, waiting for someone to throw me into the river.

I walk up it, I want to wrap my arms around it but I think Jasper would look at me funny. I pick up a rock instead. A damp, smooth rock. It’s dark red with jagged black lines and it’s thin and round and turns nicely in the hand. I turn it on its side and spin it into the flow of the water. It skips twice before sinking to the bottom of the riverbed and settling there.

He comes up behind me and grabs onto my arm, not hard or anything, just like he’s trying to take me somewhere, but he doesn’t take me anywhere and we end up sitting down on one of the big sun coated stones that the water laps at. I lean myself on him and we watch the current carry itself and whatever else with it wherever it ends up downstream.

When I think about it, which I should do less of, I only like the river or even the forest because Jasper likes it here. I only really go outside because Jasper’s here. Without him I’d probably still be lonely and scared and crying in my room because my parents were too busy living their own lives to teach me how to have one. I am scared. But I’m not completely alone. He caught me before loneliness felt too much like home. I still like being drunk more though.

I want to be intoxicated. Constantly. I feel more pliable when I am. Like a limp doll. Like I can be picked up and moved around and played with. Loved. Sarah liked people better when she was drunk, I remember. She took me and Jasper to parties, ones we never would have been invited to normally, and we’d drink together, and she’d take me to a room and we’d just talk. And she would look at me when I was slurring drunkenly. And sometimes she would hold my hand or my thigh, place her hands on me. Almost like she was more of a mother than my mother was. They were such interesting conversations. And I don’t know if it was the alcohol but for once in my life, I wasn’t uncomfortable constantly. I could make my mouth make sound. I would do things. I was pliable.

2.3 - Monday, 11:28:

Jasper’s drawing now. Although I think he’s mainly doing it absentmindedly. He likes to have things to do with his hands. And as we walk back to the car he holds mine. His hands are always so much warmer than any part of me. It’s nice.

2.4 - Monday, 22: 23:

I’m still awake. I’m hardly ever awake after Jasper’s fallen asleep. I much prefer sleep to being awake. But I keep hearing footsteps outside and, sure, we’re in the woods, there are animals, but something about them sounds so… human. I can’t really describe it but the way one boot falls, then the other. They’re walking so deliberately. They’re going somewhere. I sit up and look out the window, squinting a little too much. And I see the silhouette of a girl pacing around outside. She doesn’t look lost, maybe a little anxious, but she’s thinking about something. Her hair hangs down over her forehead and flows around her. She’s wearing a long, flowy dress with a little bow on the waistband. She’s tall too. Taller than me. She kind of looks like Sarah. She has this light to her. If Sarah were an angel. I want to see what she’s doing. I want to talk to her. Jasper stirs and looks up at me staring out the window.

“What are you doing?” He asks, he’s using his drumbeat voice again.

I point out the window, he follows my finger to the girl and then turns to me, still squinting, confused.

“What? Did you see a deer or something?”

He doesn’t see her. I pause and then nod. My mother was right. My real mother. I’m insane.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and I lay back down. He drapes his arm over me and pats down my hair.

#poetry #queer #writing #writers on tumblr #queer author

[gffa]

Last time I went about five months between doing a set of STAR WARS fic recs, this time it’s only been three months! Hurrah! It helps that, as always, this fandom puts out an incredible amount of excellent fic, so I feel like I’m never hurting for fics I want to yell about and shove at people, which is something I continue to appreciate as it often feels like so much of the world is such a huge tire fire. It helps to be able to find fics to retreat into, to have fun with, to express joy and creativity with, and so many of the authors in this fandom are just so good at this! To the point that these sets sometimes take awhile because there are always more fics I want to add, until the post starts threatening to be overly long instead of a decent length–in my defense, no seriously, you guys are just too good! Also, I forced myself to stop at 69 fic recs, because yes I do think it’s funny. (Nice.) STAR WARS FIC RECS: PREQUELS RECS: ✦ a comedy in four acts by jesuisdeux, obi-wan & dooku & yoda & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 4k    This was what time-travel is: staring at the dark sockets of skulls everywhere your gaze lands on. Being haunted by ghosts long gone. The apprehension of the slow yet sure approach of the inevitable which is sending chills down your spine. ✦ No Rest for the Weary by Peach_Bitters (peachybitters), obi-wan & anakin & jedi & ocs, 61k    Needing a break from life at the Jedi Temple, Obi-Wan Kenobi and his apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, visit a Jedi AgriCorps settlement on the Midrim planet of Helia. There they encounter new friends, new enemies and have new adventures, all while attempting to navigate their sometimes turbulent relationship as Master and Padawan. ✦ Stars of Tatooine by Be_Right_Back, ahsoka & kanan & mace & rex & obi-wan & cast, 10.5k    After the end of the world, Ahsoka more or less kidnaps a child, has to air some old grievances, and tries to find whatever peace the universe can still offer. All paths in the Force lead home, eventually. ✦ Festival of Light by dendral, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & rex & cast, 8.7k    During his first year at the Jedi Temple, Anakin learns that even the Jedi celebrate holidays. ✦ the master, the padawan, the Force by skatzaa, depa & caleb, 1.4k    Caleb expects things to be different after Master Depa takes him as her padawan, but really, it feels like nothing really changes. ✦ desecrate my lungs by loosingletters, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & padme & cast, 16k wip    Time-travel fix-it in which Mustafar haunts Anakin decades after it happened and years before it would. ✦ Grace by dismantlingsummer, obi-wan & anakin, 2.3k    Shortly after Mustafar, Anakin realizes what he has done. He finds Obi-Wan to beg for death. ✦ Fifth Migration by wrennette, yoda & mace & obi-wan & ki-adi & yarael & coleman & plo & palpatine & cast, 2k    How about an AU where the Sith’s Grand Plan accounted for everything -everything that is, except the fact that the Jedi temple is actually an very ancient spacecraft and the second word got to the Jedi about there being clones on Kamino, all Jedi are called back inside and they take off immediately? Just imagine the dear chancellor’s face… ✦ fill pages with scribbled ink by magneticwave, obi-wan/padme & sabe & mace & quinlan & cast, 9.8k    A year after the Invasion of Naboo, Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi is invited by Queen Amidala to return to Naboo and participate in a rite known as the Night of Fireflies. Things kind of snowball from there. ✦ Mind Your Words by Peach_Bitters (peachybitters), obi-wan & anakin, spanking, 7k    Obi-Wan reminds Anakin that there are consequences for careless behavior for young Jedi on missions. ✦ (you taught me) the courage of stars by grumpyhedgehogs, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 5.1k wip    Ahsoka Tano flees after a warrant for her arrest is issued, but not before receiving aid from an unexpected ally. (Ahsoka proceeds to go on a road trip filled with a bunch of strangers who all say the same thing: Obi-Wan Kenobi is much more than he has ever appeared to be.) ✦ they faked it (guess everything’s complicated) by katierosefun, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 4.5k    Ahsoka temporarily loses memories of the events of Obi-Wan’s fake death. To help with the healing process, Anakin and Obi-Wan have to pretend that they’re okay. ✦ programed to dream by ghostwriterofthemachine, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, body horror, 1.3k    The spaceship Comet-rider is the fastest, most efficient vessel in the galaxy, and is crewed by Separatist-funded pirates. Anakin Skywalker is missing. Unfortunately, these two things are connected. ✦ Unpleasant Truths by hellowkatey, obi-wan & anakin, 2.1k    Obi-Wan and Anakin are stuck in a room with one another while waiting for truth serum to wear off. ✦ moment’s silence by skatzaa, obi-wan & owen & beru & luke & leia (pre-obi-wan/beru-owen), 2k    Owen had long since resigned himself to trouble, whenever Beru got that particularly stubborn set to her jaw. ✦ hold gently and let go by shatou, obi-wan & anakin (pre-slash?), 1.7k    A troubled Anakin comes to Obi-Wan to discuss attachments. ✦ sun child by Ro29, obi-wan & anakin, 2.1k    (or; sometimes being so tied to the Force causes problems, Obi-Wan helps his Padawan as best he can) ✦ A Dinner Out by Peach_Bitters (peachybitters), obi-wan & anakin & cast, 1.6k    Obi-Wan can’t get his young Padawan to eat much, so he tries something new. But trying something different has unintended consequences. ✦ Shades in the Desert by loosingletters, obi-wan & anakin & luke & owen/beru, 10.8k    Not even from a certain point of view did Darth Vader kill Anakin Skywalker. He wished he did, but the specter of the Jedi’s light escaped before he could finalize his fall to the dark. Meanwhile, Anakin is raising his son on Tatooine. ✦ somewhere along in the bitterness by CallToMuster, obi-wan & anakin, major character death, 3.8k    It was probably the twelfth day floating alone in space that Obi-Wan and Anakin realized no one was coming for them. ✦ Songs for Little Jedi by soft_but_gremlin, mace & younglings, ~1k    The initiates are having nightmares, so Mace sings a lullaby to comfort them. ✦ atmosphere level by softredscrunchie, obi-wan/satine & qui-gon, 1k    As a joke, Satine tells Obi-Wan she thinks Mandalore is flat. He doesn’t take it well. ✦ on sith holocrons and misunderstandings by billowypants, obi-wan & anakin & mace & yoda & cast, de-aged!obi-wan, 7.2k    or, de-aged!Obi-Wan has the same Force bonds as adult Obi-Wan, and he does not react well. ✦ Perseverance & Resilience by loosingletters, obi-wan & anakin, 1.1k    In the aftermath of Naboo, Obi-Wan realizes he needs strength to protect his new Padawan. Growing up, Anakin needs peace. ✦ A Delicate Balance by Peach_Bitters (peachybitters), obi-wan & anakin & yoda & jedi, spanking, 9.6k    As Anakin’s skills grow, so too does his penchant for getting into trouble. After a training mishap, Obi-Wan struggles with his role as Anakin’s master. ✦ mirror, mirror by CallToMuster, obi-wan & anakin, 5.4k    Obi-Wan has been rescued by Anakin after being rather embarrassingly kidnapped on the remote planet of Ilnuria during his investigation of rumored kyber crystals deep beneath the planet’s surface. …But is all as it seems? ✦ Mace Windu Appreciation Week by Redminibike1, mace & obi-wan & anakin & ponds & cody & jedi & cast, 12.5k    Set of unconnected ficlets for Mace Windu Appreciation Week, because he deserves it :) ✦ begin again as a quiet thought by skatzaa, obi-wan/quinlan, d/s, ~1k    Cool, smooth leather touched his jaw—gloves. Because of course Obi-Wan had thought of that as well. ✦ Drunken Lullabies by Siri_Kenobi12, obi-wan & anakin & siri & quinlan & aayla & garen & bant & ferus, 6.5k    “Do I really have to go to this thing?” Fourteen year old Anakin Skywalker dramatically sighed. “It’s sooo boring!” ✦ heaven knows how I love you by the_13th_battalion, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 1.2k    Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka are stranded on an unfamiliar planet overnight. They spend their time exploring the community- and maybe they get a little closer to each other along the way. ✦ A Reckless Padawan by Peach_Bitters (peachybitters), obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, spanking, 3.9k    When Ahsoka upsets Anakin with an act of reckless disobedience, it falls to her grandmaster to help her see the error of her ways. OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Too Hot by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.8k    Too Hot: A game where two players kiss without stopping and without touching each other. If one player touches the other, that player loses. The winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser. ✦ Nostos by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin & padme, NSFW, 17k    Or, how Obi-Wan and Anakin discover that there are many ways to come home. ✦ to touch the light, darkest by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.9k    Obi-Wan begins to fuck Vader back to the light ✦ encode by loosingletters, obi-wan/anakin & padme & handmaidens & cast, 26.3k wip    Instead of being accepted into the Jedi Order at the age of 9, Anakin Skywalker became a ward of Naboo. ✦ Hunting the Homeward Light by GreenQueenofClubs, obi-wan/anakin & mace & ahsoka & shmi & padme & cast, 31.9k wip    When Anakin Skywalker was nine, he left his whole life and mother behind to follow Qui-Gon Jinn to Coruscant and the Jedi Temple. When Anakin Skywalker was twelve, he left his whole life and Master behind to follow Mace Windu to the Outer Rim and away from the Jedi Order. When Anakin Skywalker was twenty… ✦ use my body to break your fall by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, sith!obi-wan, 44.7k wip    Obi-Wan Kenobi is too good at being a Sith Lord general of the Separatist army. The Jedi Council approaches Anakin with an offer he can’t refuse. These things are, actually, related. ✦ Over and Over by obiwanobi, obi-wan/anakin, 1.4k    “I love you,” he blurts out, loud and impossible to miss. Obi-Wan blinks once, twice. And freezes. The first time Anakin tells him is a mortifying experience. ✦ Exceptions by rinverse, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & mace & quinlan & cast, NSFW, modern au, 23.4k    Young and brilliant, Anakin is the mind behind JEDI Tech’s latest innovation. Obi-Wan is the company’s perfectly composed Director of PR & Marketing. And last night, they were just two strangers at a bar, looking for something quick and easy. But life had other plans when it crossed their paths again the very next day. ✦ Here There Be Dragons by Ghost_Owl, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka, 10.1k    Anakin knows why he can’t shift into his animal form like every other Jedi. It’s because he doesn’t want to, it’s because he’s had a vision of what he would become, and he doesn’t want it. ✦ Waiting in a Sea of Stars by Peach_Bitters (peachybitters), obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    Stranded in deep space, Obi-Wan and Anakin wait for rescue. ✦ Tristitia by JSwander, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, sith!obi-wan, 5k    An alternate timeline where Palpatine focuses his attentions on Obi-Wan Kenobi instead of Anakin Skywalker after the attack on Naboo. ✦ Prompted - Chapter 11: Communication, What Communication? by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, mobster au, 7k    a 7k obikin PWP that is somehow a prompt mashup of a mobster au, an accidental sugar daddy au, with a soupçon of an anakin never left tatooine au, and a pinch of qui-gon was anakin’s dad au ✦ who a person truly is cannot be seen with the eye by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, d/s, spanking, 3.6k    Anakin purposely avoids doing what Obi-Wan tells him to do. ✦ Prompted - Chapter 12: Potidaea, 432BC, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, historical au, 4.3k    Here is a short smutty scene inspired by all those classics asks, Alcibiades praising Socrates in Plato’s Symposium, and this vase c.490-480 B.C. depicting standing, face-to-face intercrural intercourse between a bearded man and a youth, which as far as we can tell was the most common and accepted position for it in Ancient Greece. ✦ Prompted - Chapter 13: Minikin and Tiny-Wan by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 5.4k    Happy May the Fourth! In honor of this happy day, I have written the fluffiest, crackiest, vanilla-flavored smut imaginable. Based on long discussions on discord with tomicaleto about her adorable Tiny AU. ✦ to hold until brightness by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.4k    Obi-Wan feared that it drew out the darkest in him, to bring Vader to these flashes of light, but it was a trade he would make again and again without hesitation. ✦ May Be Found, If Sought by ghostwriterofthemachine, obi-wan/anakin & mace & quinlan, magical academy au, 2.3k    In which Quinlan, Mace, and Obi-Wan teach Non-Traditional Magical Philosophy in an institution rampant with academic snobbery and discrimination, something dark is stirring in the nearby forest, and no one is ever prepared for Anakin Skywalker. A small story about first meetings in magical academia. ✦ infinitely varied by loosingletters, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka, modern au, 2.2k    Also known as Obi-Wan and Anakin teach a tiny program called A.H.S.O.K.A. how to be something more than lines of code via the power of linguistics. ✦ recipe for disaster by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka, modern au, 9.8k    When Ahsoka tells Anakin she doesn’t want to learn piano anymore, Anakin is heartbroken. He doesn’t care about the instrument, obviously, but he’s practically in love with her teacher. Obi-Wan offers up a solution to their impending separation, and it’s not dating like any normal person would suggest. Instead, he’s gonna teach Anakin how to cook. Except Anakin’s a pretty well-known chef, and Obi-Wan is absolutely awful in the kitchen. ✦ Pretty Kitty by GayCheerios, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.2k    “Master, you always take such good care of me,” Anakin says, a little chirp coming after his sentence, as his thumb rests on Anakin’s plump bottom lip. ✦ As One, Into Eternity by Pseudonymoose, obi-wan/anakin, force ghosts, 3.1k    Death comes, but the man who was, and is, and will be Anakin Skywalker is not gone. And in the Force, he will never be alone again. ✦ does he make you laugh? by y0u_idjits, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & cast, fusion fic, 3.6k    “Tell me it’s not about screwing the guy who’s screwing your husband.” ✦ Rotten Work by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, 2.8k    Obi-Wan: I’ll take care of you. Anakin, with bloodshot eyes and a broken back from hours of terrible posture: It’s rotten work. Obi-Wan, who needs to bathe this man for his own sanity and health: Not to me. Not if it’s you. ✦ afterimages by shatou, obi-wan/anakin, 1.3k    Mustafar is nothing but a bad dream. ✦ understanding is honoring the truth beneath the surface by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, d/s, 7.3k    Anakin asks Obi-Wan to take control. ✦ The strongest stars… by Tomicaleto, obi-wan/anakin & beru & cast, NSFW, 7.4k    The war’s end seems to be close, with everyone looking forward to it. And when Anakin is doubting himself the most, an unexpected visit arrives at the Temple. ✦ home has a heartbeat by izazov, obi-wan/anakin, 5.6k    Or: Anakin and Obi-Wan are together, but there are still some things left unsaid between them. ✦ turn back now (i’m haunted) by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & padme & quinlan & ahsoka & cast, modern au, ghosts au, 25k wip    Anakin Skywalker’s house is haunted. Luckily for him, Padmé knows a ghost hunter. Unluckily for him, it’s the hottest, most english-professor ghost hunter he’s ever seen. And extremely unluckily for him, he’s starting to get the feeling he understands maybe ten percent of what’s actually going on here, not to mention what’s at stake. ✦ game plan by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 11.2k    Or, Vader keeps capturing Obi-Wan during the Wars. Obi-Wan keeps escaping. It’s kind of a thing. ✦ Provocation by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.9k    Or: Obi-Wan and Anakin attempt to navigate their complicated relationship with barbed words and wilful ignorance. It wasn’t going well. ✦ Languages by Crowgirl, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 6.5k    So Anakin pulls out a map and makes a list. REBELS RECS: ✦ The Scent of You by ambiguously, kanan/hera & cast, a smidge of nsfw, 2.9k    Everything changes after Malachor, and Kanan has trouble finding his balance. ✦ Heard It in a Love Song (Can’t Be Wrong) by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 2.7k    Kallus can’t quite figure out what makes Zeb tick, but he keeps trying. ORIGINAL TRILOGY/MANDALORIAN RECS: ✦ A Discussion of Choices by Peppermint_Shamrock, luke & mace, 2k    Mace Windu has traveled the galaxy since the fall of the Republic, keeping out of the Empire’s sight and teaching where he can. Upon the request of a ghost of an old friend, Mace finds himself instructing Luke Skywalker, who is still reeling from the truth of Vader’s identity. ✦ staring down the barrel of the hot sun by magneticwave, luke/din & obi-wan & grogu & mace & cast, 25.7k    “Gone to a Child of the Watch, the Darksaber has,” Grand Master Yoda announces in his creaky little voice. “Peace, there is not, and yet peace, there must be.” ✦ Released by Peppermint_Shamrock, cody & rex & luke & cast, 6k    Nearly two and a half decades late, Cody’s chip is finally removed. Adjusting to having his mind returned to him after so long takes time, and Cody struggles with questions of his purpose of the past, present, and future. Fortunately, he does not have to struggle alone. ✦ A Tatooine Rainstorm by skatzaa, leia & luke & shmi, 1.7k    Leia meets a ghost. ✦ Dealing with the Darksaber by Peppermint_Shamrock, din & bo-katan & cara, 1.3k    After her recovery, Bo-Katan contacts Din to challenge him for the darksaber. Din is still very much not interested in the whole affair. FULL DETAILS + RECS HERE

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #mace windu #obikin #fic recs #star wars fic recs #long post

[scapegrace74-blog]

New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 5

A/N  Sorry for the long break between chapters.  As some of you might have seen from my Tumblr blog, I’ve been off on vacation these past two weeks.  Plus, when I felt the urge to write, it was my new Vaquero AU that kept calling to me (21,000 words and counting!), rather than this fic.  Which is probably a good argument for why I don’t like to post WIPs.  In any event, here is the next chapter some of you have been asking for, entitled Third Appointment.  Be careful what you wish for.  Angst ahead, plus a trigger warning for infertility trauma, miscarriage.

The first four chapters are available on my AO3 page.

The Thursday after her impromptu encounter with Jamie and his niece at the Royal Hospital for Children, Claire woke with a strange twisting pain in her gut.  Skipping breakfast, she was halfway to her office before she diagnosed herself with an acute case of nerves, the kind that sprouted between her lungs and ribcage like a vestigial organ whose sole purpose was to unsettle her.

She wasn’t in the habit of meeting patients outside of the clinical confines of her practice, but it was more than that.  Jamie had caught her in a moment of weakness, with both her personal and professional armour missing.  What he might have seen and how he could have interpreted it had occupied her thoughts ever since.

Eating lunch was out of the question.  By the time two o’clock approached, her insides were a buzzing hornets’ nest of anxiety, her palms clammy with sweat.  A half-empty bottle of Xanax called to her from the bottom of her purse.  Before she could weigh the implications of taking one at work on an empty stomach, Jamie’s familiar knock intervened.

She could tell as soon as he entered that Maggie hadn’t needed a transfusion that week.  His russet curls shone like garnets in the midday sun and his uncanny eyes glittered like sapphires.  Still, he avoided looking directly her way as he settled into his usual chair, and she wondered if the overlap of their personal and professional lives had left him feeling unnerved as well.

“No wheat grass smoothie,” he commented, his gaze running over her desk.

“No, I didn’t have time for lunch today.”  It was a blatant falsehood, since she’d spent her lunch hour picking her cuticles until they bled, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Ye should eat more, Sassen..., Doctor Beauchamp.  Ye canna help anyone else if ye’re no’ properly nourished.”  She caught the slip, and for some reason it angered her.

“Is this your attempt to negotiate a reduction in your fees, Jamie?  Dietary advice in return for counselling?  Because if so, I’m afraid I don’t bill on the barter system,” she snapped, despising her churlish tone.

Jamie’s eyes narrowed, then dimmed.  Message received, he sat up straighter in the armchair and crossed a foot over his knee, assuming a position of poised and detached calm that had no doubt served him well during business negotiations.  She regrouped by pretending to glance at her journal for the notes from their previous session, although the space next to his name was accusingly blank.

Boundaries thus defined, the session went surprising well.  Jamie spoke of his relief that Maggie’s latest round of chemotherapy was over, allowing her to return home and to some semblance of a regular life for a child of six.  Claire coaxed him gently towards the topic of his overwhelming guilt for abandoning his family when he was most needed.  Jamie processed pain through the recounting of stories, coming to terms with his self-decreed transgression by weaving together the tale of those he loved and pointing to the holes his absence had caused.

As his resonant voice spun its web of words, Claire became aware of an underlying hum.  At first it was subtle, like the mumble of traffic from a far-off motorway.  But as their hour together ticked by, it grew in strength until she could no longer ignore the buzz that pressed against her from all directions.

“... saw that it was really Jenny and Ian who I was... Claire?  Doctor Beauchamp, are ye well?”  Jamie was watching her with concern, and she realized she’d been shaking her head, trying to dislodge the omnipresent hum.

“Yes, I’m... yes.  Sorry.  Just a funny noise that’s...  Please, continue.”  When Jamie didn’t immediately pick up the thread of his narrative, she tried again.  “You were saying something about Jenny and Ian?”

Instead of continuing his previous thought, Jamie picked that moment to broach the topic she’d desperately hoped he would avoid.

“I hope ye’re no’ upset about the other day, at the hospital.  I didna mean tae impose or tae... o’erstep the bounds of our relationship.  No’ that we have a relationship, mind,” he hastened to add.  “Only a professional one.  But when I saw ye, I couldna resist introducing ye tae wee Maggie.  I hadna told ye about her yet, and I thought...”

“Jamie, it’s fine,” she cut in, halting his rambling explanation.  “She’s a lovely girl.  They all are.  It’s only that, I’m sort of...”

“Ye’re verra good with them.  Children, that is.  Ye’ll make a fine mother one day.”

All the oxygen left the room at once.  Her heart beat so hard there was a bruised feeling behind her sternum.   Launching to her feet, Claire stumbled blindly away from her desk.  She wanted to run, to scream, but her vision was a narrow chasm and a now-deafening throb filled her ears.  She only made it a few steps before her knees buckled and the carpet floated upwards to meet her.

“Ifrinn!”  Jamie leapt to her side, catching her by the shoulders before her head could hit the floor.  He lowered them both carefully to the ground, resting her body against his lap.  “Sassenach?  Claire?  Can ye hear me?  Do I need tae call an ambulance?”  The words reached her from very far away, but the threat of medical intervention acted like a dose of smelling salts.

“No,” she groaned, the room spinning around her like a kaleidoscope.  “No hospital.  I just... need to eat,” she grasped at the most innocuous explanation for her current state.

Without dislodging her, Jamie stretched his long arm and brought back the small basket of miniature muffins that were the day’s offering from Geillis.  With surprising dexterity, he peeled away the paper one-handed and broke apart a bite-sized morsel, holding it gently against her lips.  Realizing that her dignity couldn’t get any more battered, Claire opened her mouth and allowed Jamie to feed her.  After only a few bites, the buzzing disappeared and she was able to sit up on her own.

“Thank you,” she murmured, afraid to look into his eyes for fear of the pity she knew she’d see there.  “You were right. I  should have eaten lunch, I guess.”

“Claire.”  Jamie made a prose poem of the single syllable of her name.  She looked up at him through her lashes, stunned to find him looking back, not with pity, but with something akin to adoration.  “Mo nighean donn,” he ran a tender hand through her loosened curls.  “Ye need tae care more for yerself.”

“I will.  I’ll try.”  And when she said it to him, she really meant it.  Jamie made the impossible seem probable.

They stared at one another, shoulder to shoulder on the floor of her office.  She couldn’t think of anything else to say, but nor did she move.  Her gaze flitted over his face, noticing a vestige of boyish freckles across the bridge of his nose, a mole hidden in the harvest stubble on his cheek.  Jamie was performing a parallel inventory, eyes finally coming to rest at the level of her mouth.

“Ye’ve got a wee crumb, jus’ there.”  Unconscious, her tongue swept out, triggering a predatory response, twin blue laser beams narrowing on the target she had just painted on her lower lip.

“I... I’d verra much like tae kiss ye, Claire.  May I?”

An amputated moan was all she could manage in response, but Jamie must have understood its meaning.  He bent his head until only a whisper separated them.  The air crackled, sending that extra organ plummeting towards her hollow womb.  Clenching her eyes shut in defeat, she closed the infinitesimal gap until they met in an effervescent caress of lip and tongue.

Cold washed over her skin, bathing her in gooseflesh.  Jamie tasted like he looked; a banquet of fresh, volatile flavours that called to mind a picnic in a meadow, a spray of sea foam, the warmth of hearth and home.  She could feel him trembling against her, his moist breath rushing against her cheek in shallow pants.  For a score of heartbeats, Claire was the happiest she had ever been.  Then, reality crashed down around her.

“I’m sorry,” she stammered, pulling away.  “I... this can’t... I’m sorry.”

Jamie leaned back with a mixture of longing and resignation.  She hated adding herself to his list of regrets, but it was for the best.

“I’m your doctor, Jamie.  This isn’t right.”

“Aye, I ken.  I should apologize, but I canna seem tae find it in me tae repent.”

Jamie stood, reaching down to help Claire up as well.  As soon as it was apparent she was able to stand on her own, he dropped her hand as though it burned.  The line between his brows deepened, and she could see the question forming before he gave it voice.

“What if ye werena my doctor?  Would it be right then?”

“That’s neither here nor there, because I am, Jamie.  A relationship between patient and doctor of a romantic nature is ethically off-limits.”

Jamie nodded, apparently accepting her explanation at face value. Her heartbeat calmed.  He moved slowly, gathering his coat and starting to leave.  

“But what if ye weren’t?” he said, facing the door.  “If we’d met at the hospital, or out on the town?”

“I...” she stammered, searching desperately for any answer except for the truth.  “No, Jamie,” she said at last, watching as she destroyed his last bastion of hope.  “I’m sorry.  I just don’t feel that way about you.”

Nodding abruptly, Jamie let himself out of the office.  She listened to his low murmuring voice through the door as he spoke to Geillis, heard him make an appointment for the following week, then the loud snap of the main door closing.  Only then did she allow herself to collapse once more to the floor, angry sobs overtaking her.

***

“Are ye out of yer fuckin’ mind?” Geillis inquired with her usual brutal eloquence.

With the help of a Xanax, Claire had managed to see her last two patients of the day, and only needed to navigate the shoals of her office manager’s ire before she could go home and fully medicate herself into a dreamless sleep.

“Jes so we’re clear, ye want me tae write a letter terminating your services as a doctor an’ suggesting suitable alternative providers?  An’ ye want me tae send this letter, over email, tae Jamie Fraser?”

“That’s right.”  She had determined that icy calm was the best antidote to this conversation, which was fortuitous, since she felt numb all over.

“An’ what reason am I tae give fer this abrupt conclusion tae yer association wi’ Mr. Fraser?”

“I don’t owe him an explanation.  Only sufficient notice and an opportunity to seek counselling elsewhere,” she said, feigning reasonableness.

Pushed past her limits, Geillis rose from behind her desk, a tiny tempest of moral indignation.

“Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, ye are a good friend, a fine doctor an’ a fair employer.  But I swear by the Almighty that if ye dinna drop the façade and tell me wha’ is going on I am going tae smack ye until yer ears ring!”

There was a certain relief in knowing that Geillis wouldn’t take no for an answer.  And unlike Jamie, she knew where Claire lived and would not let her rest until the truth came out.

“He kissed me.  Or rather, I kissed him.  And I liked it!  That’s why, Geillis.”

Her friend’s shoulders sagged, all righteousness gone in an instant.  She reached around Claire’s frame and held her in a bone-crushing one-sided hug.

“Och, hen.  An’ ye figured ye could deal wi’ those pesky feelings by jes, what? firing him as yer patient?”  

“I can’t deal with this right now, Geillis.  I can’t feel the way he makes me feel.  And this practice is all that I have left.  There’s no way I can risk losing it just for an affair that won’t even last the summer.”

She didn’t need to elaborate on her reasons for that dire prediction.  Geillis knew them as well as anyone.

“He’s an intelligent man, Claire. He’s gonna ken something is up.  Moreover, he’s a good man.  He deserves tae hear the truth.”

Shaking her head sadly, Claire walked towards the door.  Just before exiting, she called back softly to her friend.

“Geillis?  Make sure to include Dr. Rafferty’s name on the list of referrals.  I think they’d be a good match.

***

Monday morning dawned with little promise for the fledgling week.  Moving robotically through her weekend routine, Claire thought frequently of chickens.  How their bodies kept moving once their heads were lopped off, nerves and muscle and bone continuing to function for a time despite the fatal blow.

The elevator chimed its arrival on her floor.  As the doors slide open, Jamie was the first thing she saw.  He loomed by her still-locked office, a sun-topped thundercloud gripping a sheet of printer paper.

She’d worn her best black suit and a pair of chunky heels that brought her closer to his height.  Perhaps, on some subconscious level, she’d anticipated this confrontation.  Perversely, she relished it.  Vitriol and deceit didn’t suit her, but it was preferable to feeling absolutely nothing.

“Do ye mind tellin’ me,” Jamie began before she’d even set foot in the hallway, “jus’ what this is about, Claire?” He brandished the paper like a wanted poster.

“I would think it was self-explanatory, actually.  I’m terminating our professional relationship,” she huffed, golden eyes coming to life for the first time since Thursday.

“Via email.  Sent tae me by Miss Duncan, because ye dinna have the guts tae do it yerself.  Christ, Sassenach, even my ninth grade sweetheart didna dump me so cruelly!”

“I’m not your sweetheart!” she burst out, a flood of emotion cresting with her rising anger.  “Don’t call me that!  I was your doctor, Jamie, and now I’m nothing to you.  Nothing.  Just go.  Please.  Just go,” she finished weakly and without any hope that he’d listen.

“All this jus’ because I kissed you?” Jamie persevered.  At her stubborn silence, he continued, “Nah, I dinna think so.  Ye’re many things, Claire, but a coward isna one of them.”

She found this hysterically funny, since a coward was the only role she played to perfection.  She didn’t have time to laugh, however, because Jamie was suddenly standing much closer, forcing her to lift her chin to meet his stormy eyes.

“Nah,” he continued smoothly, a big cat alerted to the smell of its prey.  “If ye’d objected tae the kiss, ye would have told me so.  Read me the riot act or kneed me in the bawls.  I think ye’re scared, Doctor Beauchamp.  I think that kiss terrified ye, because ye realized ye liked it.  Somethin’ ye couldna  plan for in yer wee journal, right there under yer nose.  Bet it made yer heart beat so fast. So fast, jus’ like it is now.”

Jamie’s hand rested gently over the placket of her suit jacket, where he could surely feel the trip hammering of her pulse.

“Please,” she begged.  “Don’t.  I can’t...”

“Can’t what, Sassenach?” he whispered back, goading her.

The truth hung on her lips, and the toll of the past few days meant that she no longer had the strength to stop it from spilling forth.

“Can’t have children.  Ever.  I tried, for years.  Fourteen miscarriages, fourteen lost chances.  And seeing you with those children last week.  I know it’s presumptive, but I could never deny you that chance, Jamie.  That’s why I can’t see you anymore.”

She was looking down, watching the buttons of his shirt rise and fall with his agitated breath, but as she finished speaking, their movement ceased.  Chancing a glance upward, she was stunned by the fury that had overtaken his expression. 

Jamie opened and closed his mouth several times before he managed to speak in a gritty growl.

“Mutation of the RUNX1 gene tha’ causes leukemia.  I was tested, along wi’ Jenny an’ Ian, after Maggie was diagnosed.  I have a fifty percent chance of passing it along tae my children.  An’ since I canna stand the thought of ano’er bairn havin’ tae suffer as Maggie has, as soon as I got the test results, I went out an’ had a vasectomy.”

Claire recoiled as though she’d been slapped, a high pitched whine in her ears.

“Ye’re no’ the only one who’s hurting, Claire!” Jamie continued, voice dashing against the rocks of her name.  “We’re no’ meant tae suffer alone.  Ye, of all people, should ken that.”

Stunned in the silence following the thunderclap of his revelation, she couldn’t find the words to express her sorrow, her outrage, and her crippling shame.  By the time the power of speech returned, Jamie was gone. 

#my writing #outlander

[chyrstis]

WIP Friday!

I’ve had some tags throughout the week, so I’m going to cash them all in here, since Friday’s the day and I might’ve been hoping to get this posted last night too, whoops! And I want to thank you all for tagging me even if I don’t always respond quickly! <3 I definitely intend to, but there’s never enough time in a day or a week, is there? 

Tagged by @redroci @tommymillers @jackiesarch @ma-sulevin and @amistrio and @adelaidedrubman !

Tagging: @writerofblocks @twistedsinews @painterofhorizons @hunnybadgerv @cobb-vanthss @shallow-gravy @nightwingshero @ma-sulevin @shellibisshe @jackalopestride @unlikelynick @geronimo-11 @fluttyseed @fadedjacket @weekend-writer @starsandskies @faithchel @belorage @tomexraider @consumedkings @vasiktomis @chazz-anova @aceghosts @ofravensandgenesis @scarlettkat86 (and if you’re already posted WIPs, don’t mind me one bit! no obligation or pressure’s ever intended)

First, a snippet from Lighting the Fuse’s Ch. 2 which I’d love to edit up and post this weekend, so here’s hoping I can kick myself in the butt hard enough to pull it off? *crosses fingers*

---

“Not tonight, hon. Not tonight.” Propping herself back up on her elbows, she gave him a smile. “You’re here now, though. So…how about it?”

“How about what?”

“You ask,” she replied, giving him a lazy smile. “Since I’m clearly on the cusp of benching you if you don’t.”

Sharky clapped his mouth shut. Stood there, rooted to the ground and didn’t let out a single peep. 

That boggled her completely. “Seriously, hon? Nothing?”

It was dark, but Hana could almost swear he was a shade of red darker than her hair right now. “You uh…. See I didn’t think it was-maybe you being asleep kinda threw off my groove a bit.”

Hana blinked at him. Watched a crooked smile settle onto his face as he let a nervous chuckle out.

“Like, like I mean I was gonna-was thinking of maybe doing this sorta-” His words trailed off as he clenched his teeth, swallowed hard, and let out a long exhale.  “Okay, so maybe this shit isn’t exactly-”

A loud sigh came from her left directly from the radio, and the sound filled the entire room.

“…Wait, what the fuck?” Sharky asked, his eyes darting everywhere as he tried to pinpoint where it was coming from. “You hear that?”

Clenching her fists, Hana slowly let her hands relax as she let the tension out. “Unfortunately.”

“Deputy, Deputy, Deputy. I know you’re listening. But I’m starting to think you’re doing this on purpose. I thought you wanted my attention. Would’ve been glad to finally have it undivided, and yet you deny me the pleasure of hearing a single response in turn. How…cruel.”

---

And a bit more of the Hana/Sharky one-shot I’ve been chipping away at, that’s actually getting really close to being finished too. I just need to jot down a few more moments for it and see if these two can actually clam up long enough to let me finish

---

“Yo, it’s not like I’ve been there any longer than a few days at a time, and half of the shit they’ve dragged me down to the jail for’s legal, just not in any of the spots I ended up doing it.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, which is just fucking stupid seeing as lighting a fire by my house’s fine, but if it gets out to the street and catches on the trees ‘cause it’s extra dry out and the wind’s blowing, suddenly I gotta go in ‘cause I’m negligent or some shit. Then the po-po’s claiming I gotta have a permit to burn in the drier seasons, but it rains fucking plenty here.”

He’d draped his arm over her shoulders by this point, the motion coming so easily from him she hadn’t even noticed at first. Just nestled right into that warmth almost on reflex as Sharky kept on talking, and didn’t want to budge an inch if she could help it.

“Man, it’ll be the driest stretch of the year, and the sky’ll just open up and drop a bucket-load on us ‘cause it’s feeling it, but even if it don’t, anything I start’ll get put out. Just ‘cause I’m around doesn’t mean shit’s gonna go down, or nothing. ‘Cause then phone calls are made, people start looking at me funny, and I’m getting pulled out of my car for jack and shit when maybe I just wanted to take a breather there. Maybe get in a few Zs, take five to ten to jerk it, and they don’t gotta watch that too closely if I’m doing it either.”

She’d been nodding along with him, then stopped. Let that statement sink in as her eyebrows drew together before they rose high on her face.

“…Hon, that’s not legal.”

“Aw, come on, Dep! Don’t tell me there’s some kinda permit for parking out-“

“No, not that. You’d probably get slapped with a ticket or fine, sure, but it’s more about the fact that you were  beating it there.”

“It’s indoors.”

That response came quick enough for her to tilt her head back to look at him. To side-eye him heavily as he shrugged, and damn. She’d curled up to him a lot closer than she’d initially thought. Close enough to-

She cleared her throat.

---

And a little more of the No Cult AU, maybe? ...I may have watched Speed again last night entirely due to this. and it might also be up to almost 8K in length as well, pre-edits, so... Help 

---

But that didn’t solve the other problem. Towing it.

A truck would’ve been their best bet, but with him already there it didn’t make sense to try and scrape together cash for a tow truck, or to fire off a call to anyone down at the compound. His car had been used to drag Sr’s truck out of more than a few ditches without tearing the frame up, so this wasn’t a stretch to consider, and leaving them hanging now would’ve just been a shit thing to do when they didn’t even have a working phone or forty bucks between them. 

And while he’d never been able to get a tow bar to last more than a few months max, he had a few solid workarounds that could still get the job done. One of which he’d seen in a commercial a while back. 

He knew it almost by heart at this point, and cool as it’d be to fix their problem by just whipping his pants off and tying their vehicles together with them to help tow them to the compound, he’d gone down that road before. Hell, not just once, but twice now, and considering he’d been left between getting pepper sprayed and arrested, or having a busted set of jeans and his ass hanging out for the rest of the day, he wasn’t sure he liked where that left him on round number three.

Besides these were a well-worn pair, and they seriously didn’t make them like they used to. Long as he tried not to get too creative with them, they had more than a few good years in them yet. So after some sifting and digging through the trunk of his car, Sharky kept his fingers crossed that he’d find an actual tow strap back there. He and Hurk had been through this dance enough times before that he knew he had one, and crossed his fingers that he hadn’t left it over at Sr.’s place. 

Sure enough, there it was. Fucking majestic, and almost crumpled in the back, Sharky withdrew one perfect tow strap and broke out a few moves to celebrate it before hitching the two together. 

Once it was secure, he told them all to hop in, and while trying to cram one extra person into his car was tough three other people might’ve been pushing it. John regularly had the best seat in the house and still hardly made it more than a few miles before fussing at him, and here they were double - and triple stacking themselves in any spare space in order to take a seat. Man, he was already thinking up ways to relay this story to Hurk later on, but with them semi-settled and packed safe as they could be, he fired the engine up and got them all back on the road. 

It wasn’t a far drive out to Joseph’s but he took his time with it. Drove the slowest he’d ever attempted short of being twelve and behind the wheel for the first time, trying to be extra gentle with it all as the van lumbered behind them.

If he went too fast, they’d tear the back of his car off and lose it. If they hit the brakes too hard, they’d get rammed, so he needed to nail that sweet spot. Keep from tipping from one end over into the other as he played his very own version of Speed out on this stretch of road, watching that needle dance back and forth over that perfect point as he started to sweat a little under his cap.

But he had this. Pressed his foot down on the gas and let up when he needed to, exercising the kind of control that even John would give a silent nod of approval to - which would almost make him the Keanu to his Sandra, except John wasn’t there and currently trying to crawl under any of this shit to keep a bomb from going off - but whatever, it was close enough.

So he watched the mile markers fly by as they got closer and closer to the island, and by the time they rolled through the gate and came to a stop, Sharky let out whatever breath he’d started holding, and didn’t even care when the van nearly smashed into them on the home stretch anyway.  

#wip #some of these are incredibly rough b/c my brain's part mush right now #but I've also had some of these segments stashed for way too long too #also if you want a laugh go ahead and look up the the old levi jeans commercial where they're 'towing' cars with it #of all the things to store in my brain over the years as a source of amusement it would be that

[kasienda]

Hi! For the WIP ask game, oh gosh. I LOVE Restorative Justice, and I've been wondering if you were going to update it. I'm so glad it's still in the works and I totally understand the difficulty with writing that particular fic. And you know I recently discovered The Five Minute Adventures!!!

I suppose I'll ask about Rena Rouge: Secret Keeper, because I feel like that one would be very relevant to the current season (which I still haven't watched, just have had spoilers). So, what's the dynamic there?

Ahhh! Thank you! I love Restorative Justice, too!! The next chapter is kinda a monster both in content and size. I thought about breaking it apart, but so far I haven't found a good place to do that. But that's part of the problem in terms of an update. The other part, being what I already said - just having a hard time channeling the restorative circle experience when I haven't done one is so long! Haha!

...

Rena Rouge: Secret Keeper Preview (I couldn't choose between these two scenes, so you get both):

“Marinette, why didn’t you just tell him? I totally love that you have trusted me, but why did you never trust Chat?”

“I want to! I almost did! But it would be a selfish decision. He and I cannot know each other until Hawkmoth is defeated.”

“But why? Seems so arbitrary.”

“Yeah…” and she shook.

Alya held her as she cried. “There’s more to this than you just following the rules, isn’t there?”

Marinette nodded tearfully. “There was another timeline. He knew who I was. We were in love. Or that’s what he said, anyway. But… he was akumatized. And Chat Blanc destroyed the world. He said that it was our love that caused it to end. Bunnyx said he couldn’t know who I was. Not yet.”

“Not yet?” Alya questioned. “Maybe it’s okay now?”

“I don’t have some metric! The only thing I know is that he can’t be akumatized! So I have to wait until the risk of akumatization is over!”

Alya was quiet, uncertain what to say.

“I almost told him anyway, Alya. I’ve hurt him so badly. He’s never going to forgive me! I don’t know how to do this without him, but I didn’t know how to convince him to stay. And now it doesn’t matter because I don’t know who he is! And I’m never going to see him again!”

Marinette crumpled into tears. And Alya rocked her but her mind was already awhirl. Marinette has seen the end of the world? Alya hugged her tighter.

“You’ll see him again,” Alya promised.

“How?”

“His kwami knows who he is right?”

“They all do! But they can’t tell anyone!”

Alya looked over at Trixx who nodded in confirmation.

“Can they give hints?”

Trixx shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter, Alya! I can’t know who he is either!”

“But what if you weren’t the one to know?”

“What?”

“What if I knew Chat’s identity? It keeps you from knowing each other but helps us coordinate. We could include him in the planning! I could help support him like I do for you!”

Marinette was staring. “I… I don’t know all the details. But yes, anything, please! But you have to never slip, Alya. You can’t tell me who he is. You can’t hint! You may have to lie to me to protect him!”

“I understand.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve already lied to Nino you know… to protect you.”

Marinette slumped. “I’m sorry.”

Alya shrugged. “It’s part of being a superhero, and I know Nino would be okay with it if I could tell him the reasons, and I knew it had to happen to protect you because you protect the whole city. I understand the stakes! And I’m telling you, that I can do this.”

Marinette crashed into her abdomen, her arms circling around Alya.

“You are the bestest best friend in the whole world!”

Alya laughed. “I don’t know if I would go that far.”

“I would,” Marinette mumbled. “So how are you going to find him?”

Alya opened her mouth.

“No wait! Don’t tell me! I shouldn’t know!"

...

“Chat, Ladybug needs you to come back.”

“Then why are you here?” He ran his hands through his hair. “If I’m so important to her, why did she send you?”

“Because she’s still convinced you can’t know each other’s identities.”

He throws his hands up in frustration or something. “I don’t understand what’s so different that you can know and I cannot? I know she says she trusts me, but her actions say something different. And I’m not sure what I did that she found so unworthy of trust—“

“It’s nothing you did!” Alya interjected.

“— but I didn’t take myself off the team because I think I have the right to know. It’s putting us all - her and me and you - in danger when we’re not on the same page!”

“I agree completely!”

He glared unhappily at her for a moment, then his eyebrows furrowed together.

“She wants to know, Adrien. And she wants you to know who she is, too! I promise you, she does!”

“She has a funny way of showing it.”

“She spent the last few hours bawling her eyes out about how much she’s hurt you and that you’ll never ever forgive her. And that it doesn’t matter because she’s never going to see you again.”

He sighed and dropped his head. “I’m sorry, Rena. I can’t come back. I’m a danger to her and to the whole team because we can’t communicate.”

“I agree completely,” she said. “Which is why I’m here! Will you let me explain?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, his voice the calmest it had been since she had arrived. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take my frustration out on you. What did you come here to tell me?”

“Ladybug trusts you more than anyone. More than me.”

“But—“

“More than anyone!” she insisted. “Apparently she did trust you. You both knew each other’s identities at some point.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“I know you don’t. She doesn’t really either. But she saw what it led to. Bunnyx… you know who Bunnyx is right?”

He nodded.

“Bunnyx came and got her and took her to a future where the world had been destroyed. Bunnyx told her the inciting event was you two learning each other’s identities.”

“Why did she never tell me this?”

“She’s never been one to share burdens.”

He winced.

“She didn’t plan to tell me her identity either, you know. She just had a mental breakdown and I happened to be there. I imagine being a full time super hero when no one knows, wears you down.”

He snorted. “Understatement.”

“When she was spiraling, I convinced her that we could find some kind of loophole. Show you that she does trust you. She’s only trying to protect you, Paris, and apparently the future. I figured I could know both your identities, and act as a go between. That way you’ll always be in the know.”

“That only works if I know who you are, too.”

“I’ll drop the transformation as soon as you agree, Kit Kat.”

He stared at her for awhile. “I will want to talk to Ladybug about all this.”

“Obviously.”

“Okay then.” He put the ring back on.

“Will you stop renouncing me every time you have a bad day?!” Plagg screeched at him.

“I’ve only renounced you twice,” Adrien being surly.

“Twice too many! And there was a third time you threatened to do so.”

“You’ve given up the ring before?”

“Ugh! I don’t want to talk about it. Are you going to drop your transformation or not?”

“Trixx, let’s rest.”

“Alya?”

“Hi, Adrien. I swear I didn’t know you were hurting this much. I’m sorry I’ve been so blind as your friend.”

“It’s fine,” he shrugged it off. “I never told you anything was going on... Wait! If you’re Rena. That means Carapace is…”

She waved him forward. She wasn’t sure what she was allowed to say, but if he figured it out himself, it wasn’t her fault.

“Carapace is Nino,” he concluded. “Isn’t it weird that practically all the holders are in our class?”

“The same class where literally everyone except you has been akumatized?” She was proud of herself for delivering that line with a straight face. And felt guilty that she was already misleading him. But wasn’t that what she signed up for? To keep both Ladybug and Chat Noir on the same page while misdirecting them from each other?

Which was going to be way harder than she thought because they were together like all of the time. They saw each other every single day almost! They sat like half a meter apart in class! How had they not already figured each other out?

Some of this must have shown on her face because Plagg was laughing his head off at her. “Welcome to my world, kit,” the black kwami said.

She sighed. She definitely had her work cut out for her.

#miraculous ladybug fanfiction #alya cesaire #fic preview #ask games #ask answered #ask me anything #Rena Rouge: Secret Keeper #My own content

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

#this post is EXTREMELY fucking long send help #ITT: i read something that probably changed my brain chemistry for a few hours and it's painful #zet vs 100days #i'm just glad to get this off my chest good lord #anyway if people want to send me links to their favorite shrios fluff i would welcome it

[haroldtea]

i wrote something!!

soooo I’m a pathological “i have a fic idea and i’m never going to write it or I write a few pages and then fall off” writer buuuut I had this very cute idea and wrote 4k words of it! I wanted to post it here before ao3 because 1) not sure if I’m a fan of starting a multichapter WIP because I still may abandon it like my other stuff 2) i want feedback before i continue!!

here’s the gist: it’s princess prom except it’s a high school au and princess prom is actually homecoming. Adora is very happy and supportive of Glimmer and Bow running for king/queen. Glimmer is very, very passionate about winning. The problem is they’ve naturally got competition, in the form of Perfuma (who is equally as passionate about winning, for her own reasons) and her new girlfriend Scorpia. In a sitcom-style mishap, Adora sort of accidentally signs up to run as well...with Catra, Scorpia’s best friend who Adora doesn’t not have a crush on. The two decide to go through with it with the intention of getting eliminated from the race as soon as possible. Then, their friends come up with a different plan for them.

so, take a read below at 4k of stupidity and let me know what you think, and if you would be interested to read more :) (fyi there is a lot of swearing lol)

“I’M GONNA BE THE QUEEN!”

Adora shrieks, flailing her arms and almost knocking her lamp over in the process. She whirls around in her desk chair to face the intruder, arms raised in karate chop form (she does not know any martial arts), and finds Glimmer, who has flung her bedroom door open and has that crazed Glimmer look in her eyes that only means trouble.

“Fuck! Glimmer, you can’t just sneak up--wait, how did you get in my house?!”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?! Also, the door was unlocked,” Glimmer replies, kicking off her shoes and launching herself onto Adora’s bed, which she had just painstakingly made.

Adora presses her hand into her face, sighing. “I was kind of busy trying not to piss myself. Haven’t you heard of knocking? What if I was, you know...” she says, gesturing vaguely.

Glimmer rolls her eyes. “Please, Adora. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Anyway--the student council decided to bring back the homecoming pep rally!” she squeals, gleefully kicking her feet in the air.

Adora leans back in her chair, brows furrowed. “Bring back? Didn’t we have one last year?”

“Yes, but after the water balloon thing they weren’t gonna let us have it anymore, but it turns out that one senior who wasn’t gonna graduate did graduate so I guess they figured it would probably be fine, ‘cause like, who’s ever gonna try and top that?”

“Right,” Adora hums, thinking back to last year’s pep rally. Just before homecoming court was announced, a group of rogue seniors had risen from the bleachers, unleashing dozens of water balloons they had stashed in their backpacks. What ensued was a pandemonium Adora could only remember in flashes, resulting in almost the entire student body and the school’s hallways being completely soaked.

The catch was that the seniors had filled the balloons with blue paint. It had taken the janitorial staff weeks to get the gym bleachers, the lockers in the science wing, and the cafeteria ceiling (don’t ask) to look normal again. Classes were cancelled for almost an entire week because the paint had messed up something with the internal plumbing. It was single-handedly the coolest thing Adora had experienced in her living years.

It was all led by the legendary Mara Hart, notorious for sticking it to the man during her K-12 years. The prank had all but gotten her and her friends expelled, but given that she was otherwise an A+ student and no one could technically prove who was behind it (her friends were loyal to each other to the bitter end), she walked at Bright Moon High’s graduation to uproarious applause from her classmates.

Adora knew some of the more grisly details because Mara had been captain of the girls’ lacrosse team last year--effortlessly cool Mara, endlessly caring Mara, definitely part of Adora’s gay awakening Mara--but it had become something of an urban legend at BMHS over the past year.

“Wait, how do you know any of this?” Adora asks, because while she was personally connected to Mara in a small way, she hadn’t been aware that they were going to cancel the pep rally indefinitely.

Glimmer arches an eyebrow. “Um, hello? My mom’s the principal?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“And Mermista totally let it slip when I asked her about it after the student council meeting,” Glimmer adds, then pauses. “Okay, it was more like I didn’t even wanna be there and I wish no one had ever voted for me and I’ll tell you whatever, but still. I’m...” she props her face in her hands and bats her eyelashes, “in the know.”

Adora smirks and rolls her eyes fondly, turning back to her desk to shut her textbook and put her notes away. She can never get anything done when Glimmer’s around. “Okay, so, pep rally’s back--that’s cool,” she says.

“It’s not just cool, Adora,” Glimmer scoffs. “Being homecoming queen is literally all I’ve wanted since I was a kid. I thought my dream had died with Mara’s academic career, but now there’s hope again--it’s meant to be, Adora. It’s destiny.”

Adora had literally never heard Glimmer talk about this, but, “Um, okay.”

Glimmer huffs and dramatically rolls onto her back, flinging her arms out and further messing up Adora’s sheets. Lesson learned, it isn’t worth the effort for Adora to make the bed anymore. “My mom was the homecoming queen like a hundred years ago, and my aunt was the homecoming queen before that. It’s, like, my birthright!”

Adora lifts a shoulder, twisting around in her chair to look at Glimmer. “Okay, then we’ll just get you to be the homecoming queen too. Can’t your mom just...make it happen?”

“Ugh, no,” Glimmer sighs. “I already asked. It’s a student vote.”

“Oh!” Adora brightens. “That’s easy, then. Everyone loves you.”

Glimmer pouts. “I know, but it’s not just a popularity contest--it’s, like, a whole thing. Me and Bow are gonna have to do a talent show, and there’s a relay race, and other stuff that if we don’t do well in we won’t even get to be in the final vote.”

“Wait, what?” Adora doesn’t remember any of that from last year. “What do you mean, Bow? Is...he's running for homecoming queen too?”

“Ha! No,” Glimmer laughs, then her expression darkens, eyes narrowing. “I would crush him.”

“Right...” Adora says. Actually, Bow would make a pretty good homecoming queen. But Adora values her life, so she decidedly does tell Glimmer this.

“No, every queen nominee has to also have someone to run with them as their ‘king,’” Glimmer explains, making air quotes with her fingers. “There’s no boy/girl bullshit, but you do have to be in a pair.”

“I don’t remember any...talent shows, or whatever,” Adora points out. “I don’t think I’ve ever even heard of one of those happening in real life.”

“Well, obviously you never went. It would’ve all been during your lacrosse thingies and you would've been too busy making googly eyes at Mara Hart,” Glimmer replies, wiggling her fingers at Adora.

Adora crosses her arms and blushes a deep red. “I would not. I would’ve been playing lacrosse. And stuff.” Okay, maybe she did make googly eyes at Mara, but only sometimes, as a treat, and Glimmer doesn’t need to know that.

Glimmer flips back over on her stomach and levels Adora with a pout. “Adora, this means a lot to me. We’re gonna need your help to win this.”

Adora has no idea how she could possibly be of any help with this, but hey-- “Of course, Glimmer. Whatever you need. I’m there.”

Glimmer grins, eyes sparkling. “Yaaaaay. Also, my mom’s making meatloaf tonight, you in?”

Adora pumps her fist in the air. “Sweet. Hell, yes.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is a joke, right? Like, you’re joking?” Catra says into the receiver as she shoves another handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“I am usually a pretty funny gal, it’s true--but, ah, no. This time I’m serious,” Scorpia replies on the other end.

Catra hoists her phone higher up on her shoulder while she adjusts her grip on her Xbox controller. “Okay, please explain,” she says between chews.

Scorpa sighs, and Catra visualizes her sitting cross-legged on her bedspread, hugging one of her many stuffed animals to her chest. “I know it’s kind of silly, but Perfuma sounded really excited about it, ‘cause I guess if you win, you get to pick what charity the proceeds from the dance ticket sales go to, and...I just couldn’t say no?”

Catra smirks, mashing a series of buttons on her controller as her TV screen lights up in front of her. She’s been trying to get past this level for weeks, but she’ll probably die right before the end again whether she’d answered Scorpia’s call or not. “You are so whipped,” she says.

Scorpia sighs again, but this time Catra can hear a smile in it. “I guess so, kitty cat. Still, it sounds kinda...fun? I mean, it’s more time spent with her, if anything else. She’s talking about writing an original song together for the talent show and incorporating her Tibetan singing bowls into it.”

Catra takes that in and barely suppresses a laugh. Her New Year’s resolution was to make fun of her friends less. Some days are harder than others. “Um, wow,” she says instead. “That’s, uh...that’ll be interesting. Do I have to call you Queen Scorpia if you win?”

“Oh, Perfuma doesn’t believe in gendered royalty,” Scorpia replies. “She wants us to be known as Homecoming Monarchs.”

“Of course she does,” Catra mutters. Perfuma is endlessly kind and patient and makes Scorpia smile, so by default Catra likes her, but otherwise they...don’t exactly share identical values, let’s say. Catra brings her own point home by pressing a button on her controller and chainsawing an alien in half on screen.

“Do you...think it’s a stupid idea? The whole...running for homecoming thing, I mean.”

Catra hears the telltale signs of Scorpia-doubting-herself in her reply, so she pauses the game. “Nah. If it’s something you guys wanna do, you should go for it. Fuck what anyone else thinks.”

“Okay, thanks,” Scorpia says, sounding lighter. “I think it means a lot to Perfuma. It would be cool to win it for her.”

“Well, hey,” Catra continues, un-pausing her game. “If you need any help, let me kn--oh, fuck!”

“Catra?” Panic sets in Scorpia’s tone. “Kitty cat, speak to me--do I need to call 911?!”

“No, no, Scorpia, please don’t do that,” Catra groans, tossing her controller aside. “I just got blown up in my stupid game again, that’s all. I’m never gonna beat this final boss.”

Scorpia sighed in relief. “Aw, don’t give up, kitty cat. One of these days, you’re gonna really give it to--what’s the dude’s name again?”

“Prime something-or-whatever,” Catra grumbled, reaching for her popcorn.

“Yeah, that guy. He’ll never know what hit him.”

Catra snickers into the receiver. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Scorpia.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The lunch period at BMHS is, naturally, chaotic. Being a regional high school, every inch of the place is usually crawling with students, and the cafeteria is no different. The student population is small enough and the cafeteria big enough to condense into one lunch period, although Adora has oftentimes heard Perfuma lament about the ethics and health concerns of overcrowding.

Adora likes chaos. She likes that the overlapping sounds of chairs scraping and garbled chattering combine to form a comforting din that allows her to drown out whatever weird TikTok plans Bow’s making (ok, to be real, she will be asking about them later) and quietly observe the antics happening at tables around them.

She takes another bite of her pudding and her eyes land on the table to their right where Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio from her math class always sit together. Lonnie is mechanically chewing her gum as she stares into a compact mirror, examining her eyebrows with fierce concentration. Across from her, Kyle is holding up something on his phone to Rogelio with one hand and gesticulating wildly with the other as he holds a corn dog. Rogelio is nodding along but is staring down fondly at Kyle rather than at the screen Kyle’s pointing to, one arm hanging loose around Kyle’s shoulders. Lonnie slaps her compact shut and shouts something at them, pointing emphatically to her eyebrows. They all pause for a moment before bursting into laughter. Then Kyle drops his corn dog.

Adora pointedly does not observe the table across from theirs. She’ll gladly watch the Star siblings silently and intensely do their homework for the next period, or listen to Mermista fight off Seahawk’s PDA attempts, but nothing could compel her to look at the table straight ahead.

That table was where Catra Weaver and her friends sat.

Including: Perfuma’s new girlfriend, Scorpia Garnet; Entrapta Dryl, who was dating one of the Hordak twins (Adora was ever completely sure which one); the Hordak twins in question, one of which who usually broods silently and one of which who usually stares around smiling at nothing and everything; the stylish and blonde ruler of the theatre kids who has been nicknamed Double Trouble for as long as Adora can remember; and finally: Catra Weaver. Effortlessly cool, effortlessly gorgeous, effortlessly effortless Catra Weaver, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed, coolly regarding the rest of the cafeteria as she holds court at her table of wonderful misfit toys.

Today’s effortless ensemble: cool jean jacket, a cool crop top, cool black jeans, cool combat boots, she got a haircut recently so--

“Um, Earth to Adora?”

“Huh?” Adora says, jerking her head up.

This is why she avoids looking at Catra Weaver’s table. Or Catra Weaver in general.

“We were talking about homecoming,” Glimmer says from her seat across from Adora, raising an eyebrow. “You were totally spaced out.”

Adora clears her throat, willing herself not to blush. “Sorry,” she replies, digging back into her pudding.

“Glimmer’s trying to convince me not to run for court,” Perfuma continues, crossing her arms.

“What? Why?”

“Because it’s totally lame and stupid and a waste of time,” Mermista answers from beside Perfuma, inspecting her nail polish. She glances up when she senses everyone at the table staring at her. “What?”

“Mermista, you’re on the homecoming committee,” Bow says.

Mermista shrugs. “So? I said what I said.”

“Look, Perfuma,” Glimmer starts, sliding her hand across the table toward Perfuma. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed if you lose. Homecoming’s a really big deal to me, and I really want to win.” She smiles saccharinely, tilting her head at Perfuma, eyes gone wide. Bow and Adora exchange a look.

Perfuma smiles back. “Oh, don’t worry about me, Glimmer! I’m sure our classmates will select the most deserving and talented couple to win,” she says, then goes back to stabbing a fork into her salad.

Glimmer’s eye starts twitching. Bow slowly and gently takes Glimmer’s hand and slides it back to her side of the table. “Glimmer, we’ll do great. The most important thing is to have fun,” he says, patting her hand.

“The most important thing is the charity,” Perfuma mutters.

“That too.”

“Is anybody else we know running?” Adora asks. Glimmer and Perfuma both shake their heads in response, until Mermista sighs dejectedly.

“Unfortunately,” she groans, raising her hand.

“Wait, what?! You just said it was stupid and lame!” Bow squawks.

“It is,” Mermista rolls her eyes. “But the rest of the student council said it would look really bad if I was on the planning committee and didn’t run. I was forced against my will.”

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Glimmer asks, gripping her lunch tray so tight Adora wondered if she was going to launch it at Mermista’s head.

“I don’t know? I guess not? I’m planning on getting cut as soon as humanly possible though, so whatever,” Mermista replies, flicking her hair behind her shoulder.

“We won’t win with that attitude, my love!” Seahawk roars, throwing his arm around Mermista’s shoulder and raising a fist triumphantly. “You and I are going to be the greatest King and Queen this school has ever seen!”

“Oh my god, please stop,” Mermista groans, hiding her face in her hands.

“Picture it: you, me, newly crowned, gliding down the science wing--the students stop and stare! Could it really be our King and Queen in the flesh? The teachers stare too! I am going to give them both straight A’s!”

“Please just sit and eat your sandwich,” Mermista begs.

“Never,” Seahawk says, then kisses her on the cheek and acquiesces, taking a big bite of his sandwich. Adora tries to hide her smirk when she sees Mermista blush a deep red. She elbows Glimmer and nods in their direction so she can see.

“Aw, how cute. I’m going to destroy them,” Glimmer whispers in Adora’s ear.

“I know,” Adora whispers back. “But try to at least be nice about it.”

“No promises.”

“Ok, I have to pee,” Adora announces to the table, grabbing her lunch tray as she stands, grinning at Bow’s groan of TMI, Adora!

She makes her way over to the trash cans by the cafeteria exit, waving to her friends on the lacrosse team as she dumps her leftovers in the trash and sets the tray in the dish bin beside it. She should probably go over and check in with them about practice tonight, but she really has to pee, which reminds her that she forgot her water bottle all the way back to the table and needs to refill it before her next class.

“Damn it,” she mutters to herself, still smiling at her lacrosse friends as she whips around to head back--

And crashes right into someone, their heads knocking smack together.

“Ow!” Adora yelps, losing her footing for a moment. She rubs at her stinging forehead, glancing up as she apologizes, “Shit, sorry, sorry, that was totally my fault, I--”

And stares right up at Catra Weaver.

“I...I...I...”

She blinks a few times, but yes, that is Catra Weaver, rubbing at her own forehead and fixing a few strands of hair that had come loose from behind her ears. Catra Weaver, up close and personal, who she hasn’t talked to since...

“Your forehead is fucking hard. And big,” Catra says, holding her tray in one hand as she narrows her eyes up at Adora.

“Oh, um, you too...I mean! Thanks? I grew it myself,” Adora replies spectacularly, and then promptly wants to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Catra raises one eyebrow at her. “How hard did I hit you?”

Adora scrambles to answer. “Oh, not at all! I mean, not hard. It was my fault. Are you, um, are you okay?” This is going amazingly.

“I’m fine, Greyskull,” Catra replies, sending a tingle up Adora’s spine. She goes to deposit her tray. “Just watch where you’re going.”

Adora grins dopily. “Yes. I mean--I will. Sorry. Again.”

Catra glances Adora up and down, eyebrow still raised, and goes to say something else, when they’re interrupted by a foreboding, familiar voice.

“Ah, Adora! I’m so pleased to see you taking an interest in student affairs.”

Adora turns to see Glimmer’s mom looming over them, hands neatly clasped together. Maybe looming isn’t the right word as she’s smiling brightly down on her and Catra, but she’s tall, ok? “Oh, hi Ang--,” Adora starts before remembering they’re at school, “um, Mrs. Moon. What’s up?”

Angella gestures between her and Catra. “I was just observing how wonderful it will be that Glimmer will have a friend to share the homecoming experience with.”

Adora tenses again, remembering that Catra is still standing very close to her. “Oh, haha, yeah, super great. Wait, what?” Sharing?

Then she notices that her and Catra are standing in front of the wall where the Homecoming Court Signup Sheet is hanging. A sparkly pen tied to the clipboard is dangling within Adora’s reach.

“Oh, um, actually, Perfuma’s already--”

“I think this activity will make a fine addition to your college applications, Adora. And you know how Glimmer gets,” Angella leans in conspiratorially, not bothering to lower her voice. “I think it will calm her nerves to have a friend by her side. A bit of friendly competition, even!” she claps her hands together, delighted. “I remember having so much fun with my friends back in my day.”

“But, I’m already on the lacrosse team...” Adora mumbles, scratching the back of her neck. She glances down at the pen.

“Oh, but you know schools these days, always looking for that something that makes a student stand out,” Angella says, waving her hand dismissively. “And don’t worry, I’ll speak to Coach Huntara about any scheduling conflicts. You’ll get to have the best of both worlds!”

Wait, but lacrosse was Adora’s whole thing--does she not stand out enough? Will she seem boring to UEternia? “I...”

“Oh, Ms. Weaver!” Angella says, as if she’s just now noticing Catra. “I didn’t take you for the...school spirit type.”

“I’m not,” Catra replies, crossing her arms. She smiles saccharinely and adds, “ma’am,” for good measure. God, she’s cool.

“Ah,” Angella says, creating an awkward pause before brightening again. “Well, still, here you are. Are you Adora’s running mate?”

So, sometimes Adora panics.

Look, she’s in a high-stress situation. The girl she doesn’t not have an embarrassing crush on bumped into her, talked to her, and then her best friend’s mom swooped in basically saying that lacrosse is boring and dumb and running for homecoming court will get her into UEternia. At least, that’s what Adora got from all that. And then she insinuates that she’ll be doing that with Catra Weaver.

So, she panics. She panics, and she grabs the glittery pen, and she continues to panic.

“Yep! We’re running together!” she says, grinning.

“Say what?” Catra hisses.

“Oh, wonderful!” Angella squeals, clapping her hands together again. “I must say, I think this will turn out to be a very interesting competition. You’ll have to come dress shopping with us, Adora.”

“Haha, yeah...” Adora says, quickly scribbling Adora Greyskull & Catra Weaver on the signup sheet. Oh fuck, oh god.

“Hang on a fu--” Catra starts, then clamps her mouth shut, because the goddamn principal is still talking to them.

“Oh, I wonder what you’ll do for the talent show! I can’t wait...well, I’m off. It was great catching up, girls!” Angella says, and winks, and does weird-mom-finger-guns, and then she’s gliding away as quickly as she came.

Adora continues to grin and wave awkwardly until Angella is out of sight, then she deflates. That was so weird.

Then she turns and sees Catra reach for the pen that’s still in her hand. Adora has half a mind to snatch it away. Or half a brain cell, at least. “Hey!”

“Cross our names out. Right. Now,” Catra growls through gritted teeth, still trying to grab the pen. Adora tries to hold it up out of reach, but it’s still attached to the clipboard, so the best she can do is weave her hand in and out of Catra’s way.

“Um, no? I just told her we were running!”

“Well, we’re not. Give it to me!”

“No!” Adora grunts, yanking the pen away. “You heard her--she’s gonna talk to Coach Huntara. I can’t back out now.”

“Well, I can!” Catra says, grabbing at Adora’s arm, where she has the pen tucked under her armpit. “Find someone else to run with you!”

“I can’t! They’ll want to win!” Adora says, twisting her body away from Catra. She’s having a slight meltdown over Catra touching her so much, but she’s focusing on the pen for now. “No one’s gonna want to run with me anyway.”

Catra mutters something under her breath that Adora doesn’t catch, then she snakes her hand under Adora’s and takes hold of her wrist. Adora stifles a gasp. “Wait, you don’t want to win?” Catra asks, eyebrow quirked.

“Noooo,” Adora furiously shakes her head. “No, no, no. Glimmer would kill me. She wants to win. I just, um, panicked. I guess?” The heat from Catra’s hand is searing into her wrist.

Catra glances down at their hands and back up at Adora. “So, your friend will kill you if you run for homecoming. And you just signed up in front of her mom?”

“Um...” Adora thinks for a second. “Yes?”

Catra huffs out a laugh. “Wow, you’re even more of an idiot than I remember.”

Adora feels her face redden, shocked at Catra’s casual mention of the past, and glances away. “Look, let’s just get eliminated as quickly as possible and then we can forget it ever happened. Deal?”

“Ugh,” Catra lets out a groan, leaning her head back. She tugs at Adora’s wrist a few times, finding that she isn’t budging. “Fine! As quickly as possible.”

“As quickly as possible,” Adora nods, finding herself grinning as Catra loosens her grip and pulls away. “I’m gonna take this pen home, by the way,” she calls out as Catra begins to head back to her table.

“Fuck!”

After Adora finally pees and refills her water bottle, she gingerly sits back down beside Glimmer. Poor, sweet, deadly Glimmer, who’s chattering away excitedly with Seahawk about some new music video or something.

She says, in a very tiny voice, “So, um...I think I’m running for homecoming queen?”

Glimmer whips her head around, nose flaring. She stands up, slamming both hands down on the table with a smack.

“You WHAT?!”

And then the bell rings.

#she ra #she-ra #spop #catradora #catradora fic #scorfuma #glimbow