On the same morning they burn the corpse of her mother, Rhaenyra disappears.
A search is called the second they realize this is no common mischief, not a usual escapade. The Kingsguard is dispatched to the four corners of the Keep and Viserys, deep in mourning, now also worry-stricken, leads the hunt himself.
They do not find her.
“Have you any idea where she could have gone to?”
“No. Father.” Alicent shakes her head, hands hidden under the table, fingers chewed to shreds by her own fear. “The Dragonpit, perhaps? Rhaenyra always—”
“We’ve already looked!” Her father swiftly rounds the table and grabs both of her shoulders, squeezes tight. She’s wearing one of her mother’s old dresses, cut lower, more daring than she’s used to, and his calloused hands scrape her skin raw. “Think, child. She trusts you in everything. Where else could she be?”
Alicent shakes her head again. She doesn’t know. Caught up in the preparation of her mother’s funeral, Rhaenyra has not talked to her much. Sometimes — and she immediately flagellates herself for the uncharitable thought — it feels Rhaenyra has been avoiding her.
“I don’t—”
“She is the heir.” His mouth sours, his fingers dig to the point of bruising. “She can’t just vanish whenever she pleases. Not anymore.”
“She knows her duty, Father.” He lets her go, and Alicent fights down the urge to attack her own hands anew. “She wouldn’t.”
“No?” He chuckles dryly. “You told me about it yourself, once. How she spoke of taking her dragon across the Narrow Sea to look for adventure, and never return.”
Alicent’s ears go hot. Perhaps it is the room that grows too stifling. She had never meant to tattle to her father; it merely slipped out of her one day the princess had been particularly frustrating. Besides, Rhaenyra wouldn’t, not really. She wouldn’t just fly off. Leave her here all alone.
Would she?
“We were children, then.” She offers to try and defend the honor of her absent friend. “Besides, Syrax is still in the pit, is she not?”
“Yes.” Her father concedes, despondent.
“Well, then—”
A knock at the door cuts her off.
“My Lord.” Ser Criston, resplendent in his white tabard, steps inside the room. “My Lady.”
“Rhaenyra.” Alicent shoots to her feet. She shouldn’t speak before her father. She doesn’t care. “Has she been found?”
“No, my Lady.” Something flickers across Ser Criston’s gaze, gone before Alicent can put a name to it. “My Lord Hand, the King wishes to broaden the search to the city. He asks that you head one of the searching parties.”
“Of course.” Her father reaches for the pin, symbol of his office, that he’d set down on the table upon arrival. It glints weakly, wetly in the firelight “Tell King Viserys I will attend him presently.”
“Father—”
“Stay here until I return.” He orders, one foot already out the door. “I do not need you to run amok as well.”
“Father, please.” Alicent can’t help it. Her one hand closes round the other, seeking for a hangnail, skin to break. She tugs at her thumb, the pain bright and grounding, and for once in his life her father relents.
“I will find her, daughter.” His knuckles brush under her chin, soothing, then he draws her into his arms, a thing he has not done since she was barely tall enough to reach his hip. Sharp juxtaposition from mere moments ago. He's not touched her this way in nearly a decade — Alicent can scarcely remember the last time his hands have been on her without leaving a mark. The latest set bubbles to the surface of her skin, and will be purple-black come evening. “I swear that I will.”
She’s not sure it’s an oath he ought to be held true to.
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mercy, mercy
You await judgement for unknowingly violating the human-fae treaty. The punishment is typically death, but the ever-so-kind General Vanrouge has an alternative proposal.
(AKA, "I told my fae boyfriend that thinking about him behaving more like he did as a General is hot and we turned it into a scene??? (Not clickbait) (Gone sexual)")
i need lilia vanrouge to rail me into the bed (he is 3 inches shorter than me) anyways writing out the tags for this was kinda wild lmao please enjoy
originally posted on ao3
cws: BDSM scene, sexual roleplay, dom/sub dynamic, hard dom lilia, elements of consensual non-consent, sensory deprivation (sight), safeword usage, whipping, riding crops, collaring+leashes, degradation, vaginal fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, spanking, orgasm control, forced orgasm, crying, rough oral sex, blowjobs, deepthroating, rough sex, vaginal sex, creampie, choking, aftercare, safe sane consensual, fem!reader
At this point, you’ve lost track of time. The room is so dark, not a single light turned on; even the windows are covered. You’re shaking when the door finally opens. You wince away from the narrow beam of light that slips through the cracked doorway. It’s quickly blocked, however, by a familiar and terrifying shadow. Your throat tightens, but despite the fear that shoots down your spine, you throw yourself on the floor before your captor.
“Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t-to trespass. I swear, General, i-if I knew that I was going to pass through fae lands I —”
The door slams shut. You jolt and curl into yourself, whimpering. A boot presses down on your back, keeping you prostrate before the General. You can feel it as he stares down his nose at you. “Silence.” Your jaw clacks shut. “Intent means nothing. You are a trespasser, and therefore have broken the treaty between our people. Such a crime could be punished with death.”
Another whimper. Despite his command, you whisper, “Please, spare me. I beg of you.”
The pressure on your back increases. You cry out, shaking against the tread of his boot. “I told you to be silent. Do not make me repeat myself again, human. Now, while the punishment for your crime would typically be death, I have leave to do with you what I please.” The boot on your back vanishes. Before you can react, his fingers tangle in your hair and pull you to sit up on your shins. The General’s glowing ruby eyes rake down your body. “I think I know what will please me. It’s been so long since I last had a warm, soft body to keep me company.”
He doesn’t have to elaborate. Your breath hitches in your chest, eyes widening. On instinct, you press your thighs together. “Y-you want…”
“I want you, little human. It’s a far better fate than the alternative, I assure you. A warm bed, good food, fine clothing… and all I ask in return is your body.”
“A pet.”
“A crude way of saying it.”
“But I’m right.”
He yanks your hair, prying out a yelp of pain. “Your freedom or your life, human.”
It’s not much of a choice. You lower your gaze, take your bottom lip between your teeth. “Alright.”
The hand in your hair relents. He laughs lowly, his cruel grip turning into affectionate petting. You lean into his touch without thinking, grateful for the warmth. “Good human. You’ll train up nicely, I think.” Without a word, his hand leaves you. You collapse without his support. The General paces around you, paying no mind to your prone body. Behind you, you hear him rifle through something. He appears at your back in a few strides and slips one hand around your throat. It’s not enough to restrict your breathing, but it still makes you tense up. Gently, he coaxes you to sit back on your heels. A strip of soft leather meets your skin, and you breathe out a shaky sigh as he fastens a collar around your neck. “We’ll start right away.”
He tugs on the lead. You follow the pull, scrambling to your feet. “S-start what?” you ask.
The General laughs. Suddenly, he shoves you face-first onto a soft, springy surface. “Your training, of course. Starting with a punishment for your misbehavior.” He hums as his fingers begin to unlace your blouse from behind to reveal your skin to the chilly air. Your pants go the same way, leaving you in your lacy underthings. He pauses, and you feel the way he drinks in the sight of your pretty underwear before you’re stripped of that, too. A calloused finger trails down your spine. You shiver and press your face into the sheets. “So reactive, how darling! Now, I believe we’ll start with twenty-five lashes.”
“Twenty-five?”
“Mm. One for each year that the treaty you violated has been in place. That seems fair to me. What, do you have any objections?”
You remember the feeling of his boot on your back. Quietly, you respond, “No.”
“No…?”
“No, sir.”
“Good.” He fiddles with something, then the worn length of a leather whip slides along your bare skin. Again, you startle, and he snickers at you. “I’ll keep count. Stay still, will you?”
“Yes, sir.”
There’s no further warning for his first strike. The whip cracks against your back. Again and again, each strike paints a searing line of pain across the bared skin. You grip the bed sheets hard enough for your knuckles to pale, squeezing your eyes shut and biting back the tears. You don’t know when the pain progressed from arousing to just painful, but the moment you realize, you wet your lips and gasp out, “Yellow!”
Immediately, Lilia stops. The soft thump of the whip hitting the floor is followed shortly by the bed dipping. He gathers you up in his arms, checking you over with a worried frown. “Are you alright, darling? Did I go too far?”
You sniffle, burrowing your face in his chest. “No more whipping.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Do you want me to switch to something else or should we move to another kind of play?”
“The crop. But not too much more or I won’t be able to lie on my back.”
“Alright. I’ll fetch it; will you be alright if I leave for a moment?”
“Mhm.” You crane your neck and kiss his cheek before he pulls away. He chuckles, kissing your temple in response. It doesn’t take long for him to return. There’s a faint crinkling sound, then smooth plastic touches your lips.
“I brought some water, too. Drink up!”
Smiling, you take the water bottle and take a few sips, clearing your throat as you hand the bottle back. “Thanks.” You roll your shoulders a little, then roll back onto your stomach like before. “Green.”
Lilia hums, and you resist the urge to look back at him. Then, something whishes through the air, and the crop strikes your ass. You yelp, jolting. He snickers, stroking the impact mark with the tip of the crop. “Ah, humans make such adorable noises. Make more of them for me, pet.”
Another strike. Another yelp. You hiss and press your face into the sheets, sticking your ass up higher without thinking. Three. Four. There’s a pause. You hold your breath and brace yourself.
“That was twenty-five, pet,” says the General. The tension leaves your body, and you go limp. A gloved hand strokes your back, the touch soothing the hot, angry lines criss-crossing your skin. “Tell me, have you learned your lesson?”
You mumble something into the sheets. He tugs on your leash, pulling your upper body off of the bed and forcing your back into an arch as you instinctively escape the choking sensation.
“What was that? I didn’t quite catch it.” His voice drips with saccharine kindness slathered atop a mound of derision. “Use your words.”
“Yes, sir!” you wheeze. “I — hah! — I’ve learned my lesson!”
He lets the leash slacken. You fall forward onto your palms, wheezing quietly. The General slips his calloused fingers beneath your collar to stroke the nape of your neck. “Remember: do not make me repeat myself.”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
Rather than respond, his presence vanishes entirely. You tense up in anticipation. He doesn’t leave you waiting for long. He presses two fingers through your folds, making you jolt. A laugh shakes the air around you as he gathers the slickness that’s built up between your thighs. “Already excited, pet? You know, the whipping was supposed to be a punishment. Yet here you are, dripping everywhere and dirtying my fingers. Is my pet truly that depraved?” Your head drops with shame. Again, the General laughs. His clothed body drapes heavily over yours, erection pressing into the small of your back. He pushes his fingers into your hole and gives a few experimental pumps. When you moan, he shoves them deeper. His other hand flies up to grip your jaw. He wrangles your mouth open with his thumb and presses down on your tongue. You can’t stop your pleasured noises as he pumps his fingers in and out of your cunt.
Your hips jerk sporadically as your body chases his touch. He snickers, thrusting his fingers faster and faster while you wriggle beneath him. “Keehehe… does that feel good?” Squeezing your eyes shut, you nod as best as you can with his hand still keeping your head in place. Fangs and a warm tongue on the nape of your neck are your reward; he teases your skin with little nips and kitten licks that make you shiver and jolt. The General pauses his fingerfucking, then blows a puff of air against your damp skin. You squeak, bucking your hips without thinking. “Think only of this, of the pleasure I bring you, because this is your life now, pet. Your place is beneath me, writhing and squealing while I have my fill of you. You don’t need anything else in that pretty little head of yours.”
Desperate for friction, you start to roll your hips against his palm. He lets you hump his hand for some time, cooing patronizingly even as he indulges you by twisting his hand to rub your clit with his thumb. The fingers in your mouth delve deeper and make you gag — your cunt spasms around the fingers of his other hand and forces out a strangled moan. Finally, he deems you worthy of his effort again and begins pumping his fingers in and out of you once again. You whine out your gratitude, tears pricking your eyes.
“Come for me.”
You obey without a second thought. The General frees your mouth as you convulse beneath him, gripping the sheets so tightly that you fear you’ll tear them. He draws out your pleasure to the point where you beg for mercy. When you try to shake him off, he snarls.
The air whistles with the speed and force of his palm against your ass. You shriek. He grabs your leash at the very base and yanks it back. “I’ve not had my fill yet. Weren’t you listening? We stop when I say so.” His fingerfucking becomes more intense, and despite the pain you can’t help but moan. “See? You’ll come to love it more and more.”
“Sir,” you sob. “Please, sir. Hurts. I’ll do anything else, just please —”
Suddenly, his weight leaves you entirely. You collapse, half-kneeling as your upper body slumps onto the bed. Beneath your head, the fabric quickly dampens with tears. Beside you, the mattress dips. You lift your gaze, meeting the General’s blown-out pupils. By now, your eyes have more or less adjusted to the room’s pitch darkness, and you can just barely make out the silhouette that bears those glowing eyes. They shimmer with equal measures lust and disdain. That is the man you’ve sold yourself to. A tug on your leash shatters your thoughts. “I suppose I’ll have mercy on you for now, since you’ve not been properly broken in yet. Come closer and open your mouth. I’ll use that hole until the other is less sensitive.”
“Thank you, sir,” you rasp out. You shuffle to him on your knees, settling between his legs. A few buttons pop before his fingers curl into your hair, carefully guiding your head to his crotch. The General caresses your cheek as you lean in. You flinch as he taps his cockhead against your parted lips, but take a deep, shaky breath and flick your tongue out. His skin is smooth and soft, with little taste other than a distinct saltiness that makes your face scrunch up. Above you, he groans. His nails scrape your scalp. You continue with little kitten licks, your hands rising up to grip his thighs as you start to move down his shaft.
“That’s it, just like that… mmm, such a good human. Your tongue is so warm…” He lets out a deep, guttural noise as you reach up to cradle his balls in one hand. “Yesss… hah… lift your head and open wide so I can fuck your mouth, now. Don’t stop that hand of yours.”
You obey easily. He guides you to envelop a few inches of his shaft in your mouth, your tongue pulsing against the salty skin. He pushes your head down further. At the same time, his hips surge up, and you gag when his cockhead hits the back of your mouth. Tears spill down your cheeks as he starts a steady pace. It’s hard to breathe, but you pull in unsteady breaths through your nose each time he pulls you up before he shoves you back down to his base. One of his hands sneaks down to your neck and feels at the front of your throat.
“Ahhh, I can feel it. Right here.” He holds your head down and presses a finger against the slight bulge that’s formed. “You make such a good little cocksleeve.”
Squirming, you squeeze your eyes shut and whine around him. The General only laughs cruelly. Only when you begin to swat frantically at his thigh as you start to lose feeling in your fingers does he let you come up for air. You cough and gasp, snot and tears and drool dripping down your face. You look up at him with bleary eyes, his dark silhouette blurry along the edges. There’s a prolonged moment of silence.
Then, he leans down and murmurs, “Color?”
You lean your cheek against his thigh. It takes a few seconds for your foggy brain to formulate an answer, but you rasp out, “Green.”
For a moment, the hand in your hair gives you a gentle pet. Then, it turns hard once more and yanks you back to his cock. You let your jaw hang open, but he still presses his thumb to your bottom lip to keep your mouth open wide as he starts fucking your throat again. You grasp at the fabric of his pants, choking on your spit every time he draws back. When you glance up, you see his shadowed silhouette lounging back, holding himself up on one elbow.
“Hah… I can’t wait… a-ah… can’t wait until you’re properly trained. I’ll take you to — shit! — every function I have to attend. And the nobles will look and… and wish they had a little human whore half as perfect as mine…” Suddenly, his hands fly up to grip your head on both sides and push you down. You make a tiny noise of alarm, jerking against his steel grip on instinct. “Stay still, pet. I want to come down… your… ah —!”
You flinch, eyes going wide as his cock twitches in your throat and pulses on your tongue. Hot come fills your mouth, and even though you try to back off, he holds you in place. One hand drifts over to your face and pinches your nose. You have no choice but to swallow. Only when static starts to crackle in your ears does he let you up. You choke and cough and try to wipe away your tears even though they cover your hot cheeks.
“Good human,” coos the General. You sniffle and duck your head. He clicks his tongue and tugs your leash, forcing you to look up into his glowing eyes. “Head up, now. We’re almost done breaking you in. You should be less tender now, yes?”
Slowly, you nod. He hums in approval.
“Good. Get back on the bed. All fours.”
You open your mouth, try to speak, and cringe when you can only make a raspy noise. You swallow once, twice, then whisper, “Yes, sir.” As you clamber onto the bed, your tingling legs protest. Your face burns as you shuffle gracelessly into position, barely supported by your shaking limbs. A tug on your leash, followed shortly by the mattress dipping behind you, tells you where the General is. He’s still mostly clothed as he settles at your back. Only his hardening cock is bare, sliding wetly along the cleft of your ass.
“Now, I’m going to fuck you. Still… you should thank me, human, for letting your little hole recover.” He teases two fingers against your weeping slit. Your hips jerk.
“Th-thank you, sir.”
Without further warning, he thrusts into your cunt, filling you completely. You let out a startled moan. Falling to your elbows, you use what little leverage you have to rock back into him. He starts a rapid pace, drilling you into the bed as he curls himself over your back. His clothes rub up against the raw stripes of pain criss-crossing your skin, pulling hisses and sobs from you over and over again. It hurts so good, you can’t stop yourself from clenching around him with each pass. For his part, he’s reduced to snarling moans and grunting. He sounds like an animal in heat, and the way his claws sink into your haunches and his sharp teeth scrape over the nape of your neck only add to the impression. You barely register the fingers that creep down to rub and pinch your clit, but when they do you wail, jerking and clawing at the sheets while the General laughs in your ear.
“Do you like that? Make that noise again for me, pet.” He doesn’t let up, and you collapse as your orgasm hits you. Your body going limp doesn’t stop him from fucking you, and you start crying in earnest as he pounds your aching cunt.
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t! Please, sir!”
“Take it,” he snarls. He reaches up and tweaks your nipple painfully, twisting and squeezing while he ignores your pleas for mercy. You're sure that you'll bruise by the morning. His stamina is almost terrifying; there's no sign that he's anywhere close to coming.
A sudden yank on your leash forces you to sit up, back arching against his chest. Your trembling hands scrabble desperately at the collar around your neck. You gasp for air, your voice strangled as you beg and moan.
You flinch when he takes one of your earlobes between his teeth. "One more. Together, this time. You can do it, can't you?"
You shake your head. Between labored breaths you exclaim, "No! I can't! Oh, god!"
"Shh, you can, you can. Be a good little human for me, now." He starts massaging your clit beneath his fingers, pulling yelps from you. With every forceful thrust, your pussy spasms around his shaft. He groans into the crook of your neck, his fingers working you harder and harder while you struggle against the collar. A guttural growl is your only warning before his hips connect with yours one last time with a wet slap. Heat fills you, overflowing to the point where it leaks out onto your thighs. Even though you feel you can't possibly give the General another orgasm, he rubs you furiously and bites into your shoulder. You tremble in his arms. Somehow, you manage one last weak orgasm. All you do is whimper.
He holds you in place for a minute longer as you both catch your breaths. All at once, the leash goes slack. You fall forward, panting and sniffling softly. Behind you, you feel Lilia shuffle around on the mattress before the collar around your neck is removed. He strokes along your spine with gentle fingers.
"Are you still with me, darling?" he asks, voice breaking through the fog in your brain. You roll onto your back. The sheets immediately irritate the marks left by his whip earlier, and you hiss at the sting. Lilia makes a small, worried noise. He glances off to the side, then snaps his fingers. The bedside lamp flickers on, casting the room in a dim yellow glow. "Oh dear. Let's get something to soothe your skin. I'm going to be right back, is that alright?"
You nod. He helps you shift back onto your stomach, zips himself up, and hurries out of the bedroom. You’re not sure if you fall asleep for a few minutes or if he’s just that fast, but the next thing you know, he’s back. The bed dips behind you, and you shudder with relief as he rubs aloe gel into your back. You sigh and shut your eyes, letting the cooling sensation turn you into putty in his hands. Lilia laughs as you practically purr beneath him, lashes fluttering as you fight back the urge to pass out.
“Good?”
“Mhm…”
“Now, now, don’t fall asleep on me yet! At least let me change the sheets!” He scoops you up, snickering as you grumble and squirm, and sets you down on one of the plush chairs in the corner of the bedroom. You curl up and rest your cheek on your arm to watch him strip the bed of the soiled sheets and replace them with fresh ones. You yawn. He turns to you and wags a finger in mock reprimand. “What did I just say?”
“The sheets’re changed,” you mumble. Another yawn. Grinning, Lilia rolls his eyes and trots over to carry you back to the bed. You wriggle beneath him as he takes a wipette and a washcloth to your crotch, whining and kicking lamely at him. “Can’t we just sleep, Lils?”
“Then you’ll just complain in the morning that we’re ‘all crusty and gross!’” He pinches your thigh and dodges another halfhearted kick.
He finishes cleaning you up, and you immediately squirm under the covers. You watch him change into a pair of briefs from beneath the edge of the blanket. “Maybe I wanna be crusty and gross with you.”
“Oh? Then I’ll take you on your word next time! Crusty and gross under crusty, gross blankets.” Lilia leans back, hands on the small of his back. You hear a series of pops, followed by a groan of relief. With that, he dives under the covers with you. You scoot away from him with a quiet grunt of mock disgust.
“Changed my mind.”
He guffaws at that. He wraps himself around you, rubbing his cheek against your collarbone and looking up at you with those big, affectionate ruby eyes. “You’ll break this old man’s heart if you keep talking like that, my darling.”
“Uh-huh.” You return his embrace, looping one leg around his hips as you settle in. “You seemed a lot taller earlier,” you comment.
“Mmm, I suppose I seemed a lot taller back in my prime, as well.” Lilia gives a quiet, thoughtful hum. “Are you disappointed, then?”
“No. Never. It’s just… interesting.” You run your fingers through his hair. It’s soft and flows easily through your fingers, even the parts that he’s probably bleached and dyed a hundred thousand times before. “Thank you, by the way. For indulging my weird fantasies… ah… did you like it?”
“Very, very much, dear. It made me feel young again, even!”
You laugh softly, closing your eyes. “Did you do things like that when you were younger?”
“No,” he says. You feel a puff of breath against your skin. “There was no time for such things, and my view of humans was far more… uncharitable.”
“So you wouldn’t have fucked me like that in the past. Gotcha.” You burst into giggles when he jabs his fingers into your sides. He tickles you mercilessly until you’re crying with laughter and trying to shove him away to catch your breath. Panting, you roll onto your back and swipe at your tears with one hand. You glance over at Lilia, who’s lying propped up on his side with that smug grin of his.
“Perhaps I would have if it’d shut your smart little mouth, sweetling,” he coos. “And maybe a cute human bed warmer would have done me some good. Who knows!”
“Unfortunately for you, you just have me.”
Lilia shakes his head. He reaches out and pulls you into his chest, resting his chin on the crown of your head. “Fortunately for me, I have a lovely human partner right here.” Pressing your cheek against his chest, you smile shyly. He chuckles and pets your head. “Let’s do another scene like this sometime,” he says. “Perhaps we could even make use of Diasomnia’s old dungeon.”
Your eyes go wide and you squirm in his embrace as you try to look up at him. “Wait, your dorm has a dungeon?”
He doesn’t say anything, instead grinning impishly. With the snap of his fingers, the lights go out. You wriggle more, but Lilia just holds you tighter and refuses to elaborate. “Good night, my dear! Sweet dreams!”
“Lilia!”
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i need to share my very horrible idea to combine the reinhard/julius/otto/subaru boy drama into one julius-centric fic
ok so a little while ago ive made all kinds of ottojuli and reinjuli posts and while i havent finished all my major julisuba posts Yet i am quite fond of julisuba also and i think itd be incredibly funny if you just dumped all of these ships into one story. just go ALL IN on that boy drama!!!! go big or go home amirite!!!! the worlds WORST love trapezoid youve ever seen!!!!
this post is just me rambling fic ideas bc i sadly dont have time for Every Fic Idea and also i just. i just think itd be funny putting multiple ships with the same person in them into one fic. on a serious level its like mimicking real life relationships where sometimes people come and go and you have different dynamics with each person!! on another level i just think this is also very funny so!! here we go. under the cut:
anyway so my idea for this is that you know, julius of course meets reinhard when hes ten and reinhard is eight and then it alters julius's brain chemistry. at first he's in complete awe of reinhard. and then over time the shame starts setting in. that julius isnt as strong as reinhard. and the jealousy sets in a bit too, so julius's got this chip in his shoulder trying to carry his family's legacy and trying to carry the weight of knighthood to be as perfect as possible. to be as close to reinhard as he can. they meet again in their teens and julius shows reinhard the ropes of like basic knight stuff bc reinhard just joined the knights. and of course reinjuli become friends but julius has spent his whole life quietly watching reinhard from afar and now julius still has that distance with reinhard even as theyre supposedly friends now. reinhard is a God, you know? his powers and his leash from the kingdom and his family keep him distant and the two of them are ignoring that. classic homoerotic "do i want him or want to be him" friendship where both of you are too scared to get any closer for various reasons with a Twist (reinhard's very real monster complex that keeps getting validated bc Everyone Around Him thinks hes a monster).
anyway but then julius remembers that you know, shit between reinhard and him wont work out for many reasons, like reinhards family deciding to torment julius at various points in his life (heinkel, whos julius's boss, and reid, who went from julius's childhood idol to. you know.), and also reinhard needs to have kids because hes the sword saint, and also homophobia exists in rezero. and also even if those werent all obstacles julius still has his Complexes connected to reinhard and they got that distance between them so. no go. (repression gets in the way of relationships :((( )
also quick side note is that ex 4 happens and julius reinhard ferris go to vollachia and julius interrupts a meeting with vincent vollachia himself to go "I UNDERSTOOD THAT LITERARY REFERENCE YOU JUST MADE. THATS A REALLY GOOD REFERENCE I LIKED IT A LOT" bc hes a massive nerd and ig this is slightly-more-of-a-disaster-gay julius au so julius is like ............................. vincent was kinda cool for that.
AND THEN SUBARU CRASHES INTO JULIUS'S LIFE and julius is like seeing this guy who's also got a chip in his shoulder and then he insults the knights and says the knights are all depending on their dads (nepotism) and julius is like .......the chip in my shoulder was bad enough and also youre kinda like me fr. and you are clearly a fucking misguided kid so now i have to save your ass. i cant NOT save your ass. and reinhards like "julius and subaru nooo you dont have to do this :((((" and julius cant admit atm that hes also doing this to save subarus life so julius is just like "he disrespected the knights >:(((("
but yes we all know what happened there. julius saves subarus life. julius has to slice subarus throat in that one failed loop. they become friends across several timelines. they also homoerotically share souls, you know, typical bromance things, rivals to lovers except subarus the one going YOURE MY RIVAL and julius is like he is SUCH an upstart. hes really grown on me like a fungus but thats the appeal. and julius i think sees subaru as like a kindred spirit (or at least thats how i interpret julisuba) except subaru is like way more freer than julius is. same desire to prove yourself but subarus not restraining himself constantly like julius. its sometimes to the point of recklessness and general stupidity and what have you, but his boldness and bravery and determination and heart really is admirable.........................
yeah so anyway julius falls for ANOTHER guy again, you know how it is sometimes. the heart wants what it wants and julius is cursed to always have the worst meetings with his closest friends. and of course julius gets heartbroken bc wtf i have to kill my new friend :((( noo!!!! but in the finished loop its like. oh subaru...... hes really improved himself. hes grown so much already. hes kind of. inspirational really. idk how he does it. except subarus you know got that Mystery to him the same way reinhard does (theyre traumatized and Cant Take About It Normally so they just randomly lore drop what they can) and also subarus SUPER into emilia. and julius is like .................... well. subarus taken. haha. and reinhards. taken. fuck me. fuck. and like somethings going on with subaru and rem and emilia right. fuck. and subarus got his whole toxic masculinity / gender crisis..... and he doesnt know hes Bisexual yet...... man. what a loss for julius amirite haha.
and also subarus busy after arc 3........... and julius has no idea whats happening there but that seems Real serious :(( and julius's got other things to attend to so he hopes subaru reaches out to him eventually..... or that they cross paths again since subarus in the emilia camp and julius is in ana camp (and of course reinhard is in felt camp and like that was a whole debacle bc wtf. reinhard, u do know thatd be a big deal to our mutual friend felix?). so. julius pines from afar ONCE AGAIN HAHA.
(also of course subarus still attracted to reinhard here. its um. well julisuba can bond now over pining over reinhard but thats for later also!!)
anyway of course during arc 3 julius briefly runs into some gray haired merchant twink thats being dragged around by subaru bc ana camp rescued this guy from a cave somewhere??? and this new guy and subaru made a deal or whatever so he was just helping out in the background of the fight against sloth??
and whaddya know................ julius goes to drink at a bar bc you know he probably tastes wine for fun in his free time (hes definitely Fond of wine anyway iirc) and now hes Sad over the Ones That Got Away so. bar it is. and gray haired merchant twink is there!! no way. they start talking a bit casually while drinking you know and julius's taste is Unfortunately either the graceful ones (anastasia, because julius has great taste in women) or the cringe fail ones (all the twinks - except for felix - that julius keeps having the wildest first meetings with, because julius has slightly shit taste in men) so julius is like huh this otto guys kinda funny lol. endearing in a weird way!! and -
oops they both end up being a little. they make a little bit of a move on each other. bc they were drinking and got a Bit tipsy. ottos Also not over the one that got away (subaru) (again) and hey. the finest knight truly is. Fine. objectively fine. totally. so you know. things get a little out of hand, maybe they do a bit of cringe fail flirting hidden underneath five million layers of repression and the Horrors of Being Known but ultimately they both embarrass themselves somehow (read: how far they went with each other while under the influence is up to you) and agree to Never Speak of This Again bc oopsies they were both technically each other's first time being Straightforwardly Not Straight with another man. oops. anyway julius has to go back to his camp and otto fucking bolts but he bolts right into subaru and gets his ass dragged into sanctuary drama.
julius is totally not a little bit envious about that.................... about otto getting to accompany subaru to sanctuary... but dont worry julius!! youll get to make up for it later!! bc eventually arc 5 stuff happens. and julius is Glad to see reinhard and subaru again. even with all the Baggage. and subaru is of course Weird about julius but eventually subaru reassures julius after they both confide in each other about the astrea drama (theyre honorary astreas via being dragged into the astrea family mess). and subarus reassuring to julius in a whole new way okay. subaru, whos unrestrained and incapable of being on the down low about anything, and julius, whos always holding himself back with a gazillion layers of repression, starts learning to let go a bit...
but also juliotto meet again. its terribly awkward and they both agreed to never speak of their awkward encounters again. subaru is going ??? and reinhard is clueless. otto then also goes to save reinhard and felt from heinkel trying to take felt hostage, which was also terribly awkward but reinhard and felt are grateful about it (but lbr if reinhard and otto knew each other deeper reinhard would maybe be a little. Apprehensive. around otto while otto would be sympathetic with reinhard bc hes like male emilia). but then while otto manages not to get erased by gluttony....... julius gets erased. of course. which you know results in being forgotten by reinhard in julius's THIRD first meeting ever with reinhard. and subarus the only one who remembers him of course.
then arc 6 happens :,))))) and julius of course has to confront his ideas of knighthood, his identity, his self esteem, and who he is outside of His Name. and also julius gets his ass beat by reid. his childhood idol. who reinhard KNEW was a shitty person but never ever told julius (whether this is because reinhard wanted to spare julius's hero worship or because reinhard never got the chance to tell julius is hard to say lajdsf). but julius does get to triumphantly win in the end!! grow as a person!!! learn to undo a bit of that repression and not hold himself to impossible standards all the time!! hes growing still!!! hes finally solidified his friendships with people like subaru and emilia!! hes remaking his relationship with anastasia!! hes asserted himself, hes planning on going to meet reinhard again one day and duel him!! things are looking up even if its still bittersweet that he doesnt have his name back yet!! does this mean?? perhaps?? a HAPPY ENDING?? julius can have the two men (reinhard and subaru) he admires the most in his life?????? as friends???? or as boyfriends?????? slowburn mutual pining????????????????????????????????????????
and then comes. arc 8 otto. that piece of shit.
julius is very much someone who has to grapple with the weight of the expectations that people throw at him. and also reinhard is someone who May envy julius a bit, but there's also you know, joshua and subaru with the Explicit Envy and (past) resentment because theyre placing heavy expectations on julius!! theyre pointing blame at julius!! julius is trying to find himself outside of stuff like that, especially after arc 6, but he's still got stuff to work on you know? he still has duties to fulfill!! loyalty that he has to act on bc hes gotta help subaru and co in arc 8!! and then in comes otto.
otto is also someone with expectation placed on him, but its Different. ottos mostly a nobody and when hes Not a nobody, his reputation tends to be Derogatory. hes a menace. hes a bad luck charm. hes grappling with the fact that he has to keep being left behind - post-arc 5 bc he was injured, but also repeatedly during arcs 7 and 8 because hes too physically weak to be on the same playing field as emilia or garfiel or subaru on the battlefield. he feels Useless after placing his identity on the expectation that hes Dependable and Useful.
julius is a bit more on even ground with otto now that julius is. also mostly a nobody bc his name is still gone. and also julius had to deal with having that part of his identity crushed. julius tried to be useful over and over in arc 6 only to get his ass repeatedly curb stomped by reid in the beginning. he was a nobody. he wasnt dependable anymore. and also otto is that one guy he had a Passing Fling with over having The Ones Who Got Away and julius was still vaguely hopeful about maybe being pals at least but ottos brushed him off a bit since arc 5. theyre like each others secrets you know? and now otto doesnt know that shit - julius is the only one who Knows - and otto also hates julius's fucking guts now. over SUBARU. and julius has been through this whole rodeo clown circus with arc 3 subaru so this is an absolutely terrible ride through memory lane.
and this is julius's THIRD twink that hates him for terribly unfair reasons. julius is very tired and a bit heartbroken in this au trying to pretend it doesnt bother him. on one level it doesnt. bc ottos pathetic and clearly Overcompensating for Something. on another level it kinda does bc julius had a Thing going with otto. and otto is the complete opposite of julius. like hes different from the other guys julius has liked.
julisuba is about complimentary opposites - they appear Extremely Different at first glance but theyre very similar. theyre people who try to look and act bigger than they are, people who keep reaching to be The Best, to be Perfect, because theyre overcompensating. theyre worried their entire identity is only built off of trying to be bigger than the shadow that other people in their lives (like their families) cast. but they cant reach perfection. and julius is like subaru but if subaru tried to really make himself "refined" - if he tried to stop putting his heart on his sleeve all the time. reinsuba are very similar too. theyre very refined knights who try to keep themselves in check at all times while the weight of the world is on their shoulders. they cant have a hair out of place. except julius is like the "smaller" version of reinhard. julius is less powerful. its like comparing a human and a "god" - reinhard, whos untouchable. but its a double edged sword, because julius gets to be a normal person, because half the expectation placed on him is also purely from himself, while reinhard isnt. reinhard isnt Free. hes on a leash by the kingdom and his family. julius even gets his kind of "celebrity" status stolen from him via the loss of his name. hes truly kind of Normal now - julius is like if reinhard didnt have his crazy abilities and had a little more of a chance to be free.
otto? yeah otto is. very very far from all of that. hes so obviously imperfect that most of his reputation, when its brought up, is just him being known as a mess who's caused various forms of chaos everywhere he goes. either that or hes just. There. Invisible. very very average. and otto is someone who wants a nice comfortable life, someone who wants to fit in - julius and subaru arent Exactly like that, and while reinhard also wants to be normal, ottos the one who has more of an opportunity. but he doesnt. because otto Dooms Himself by being recklessly cutthroat. otto is like if subaru was just. More of an asshole, so ottojuli would just be a rather Extreme Challenge for julius to have to deal with HAH. and normally otto is someone who repays how people treat him - a very "you treat me like this, i'll treat you the same way in turn" kind of deal, except ottos developed a vendetta against julius and its basically like if subaru never let go of his arc 3 julius vendetta.
yes so anyway. etc etc stuff probably happens but i ran out of ideas lajdlfjasdf i just think combining ALL the boy drama and recontextualizing + adding to canon would be. batshit crazy. and terribly entertaining. im so sorry julius but i want to see you crack a bit under the pressure. reinjuli as a ship is like tragic gay yearning that never goes anywhere past being friends with quiet homoerotic tension, then julisuba is. you know. extreme rivals to lovers, starts out Rough but then ends up being super super sweet and theyre Trying their best underneath the self esteem issues. and then ottojuli is. toxic yaoi at its finest (pun intended). you get Every flavor of mlm possible!!
ok so you may be asking "ok what would you even name this fic then" and to that i say that this would be called To All the Boys I've Loved Before.
anyway i really wanna write this idea someday ill inform you guys (if youre reading this and are Interested) if it ever happens :< so. in conclusion this is just julius the entire time throughout all of these events:
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