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#* ii.  answer.  —  ( have you remembered to keep her away from the wolves? )
thatfangirlofsb · 1 year
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A/N: Hello, I'm back with the second part of Moya tsaritsa. You can read the first part here.
T/W: Spoilers for King of Scars and Rule of Wolves.
"Preparations and a more annoying than usual Nikolai won't be the only things she'll have to worry about."
Moya tsaritsa (II)
"If you try to add any of your inventions to the ceremony again, you will know why the grisha students fear me."
If she had gone back in time, her answer to the question of becoming a general would be a resounding no. Damn desire of being promoted.
"It would just make a small explosion, nothing more." Nikolai's voice was between laughter and seriousness; without choosing a fixed emotion.
"When you say small explosion I see all the guests covered in soot and the walls cracking." She ran her fingers over the blue fabric that was on the table, her eyes narrowed slightly and she pointed out to the servant the gold cloth that was to the right of the previous one. "Do you understand?"
"Only..."
"No." She said flatly before turning to him and look at him visibly angry. "Why do I have to be here? It's your wedding, not mine Nikolai."
She knew that inside her there was one more reason to tell him that, but she would never dare to say it out loud. She still couldn't bring herself to name it, and she knew it wouldn't go away no matter what she do to prevent it. She was still going to try, whatever it cost her.
"But you agreed to help me." He was right, but she also regretted that. She didn't think those stupid preparations were going to break her so much inside. "This would be very boring without your weird looks when I choose something."
"I'm choosing almost everything." Without taking her eyes off him, she crossed her arms over her chest. It seemed that the blond didn't understand that she was angry, she didn't know how to make him see it anymore. "It looks more like my wedding than yours."
And that, in a possible far distant future, was an impossible wish she had. The Lantsov's emerald, the one with she had joked with Alina when they were at the Spinning Wheel looking at all the dresses that the then prince had given to the sun summoner, on her finger.
Her desire for power was clouding her judgment, or so she told herself, and it had been growing ever since the current king let her know the real Nikolai. He, without realizing it, had opened up more with her than with Alina herself; with which he was foolishly in love no matter the summoner always made it clear her refusal to his feelings. Was the same thing happening to Zoya? She was... it was even more difficult for her to say the word than apologize, falling in love with something unreachable; just like him with the half shu girl.
When had it happened? She didn't want to know and she didn't want to think about it either. However, her mind couldn't help but remember every night that, after the demon's escape, on the way back to the palace they had to pretend to be two lovers on the run looking for a few hours of freedom. Did they keep that mask even inside the palace or was the closeness and possible affection Zoya felt real? Even if it was, she knew that there were many different kinds of feelings; and Nikolai certainly wasn't thinking the same thing.
Nikolai, the king Nikolai. She always tried to remember that when their eyes met, but it seemed that her brain stopped working when he fixed his eyes on her blue ones with that typical lopsided smile of him. Even if the war hadn't happened, even if she continued to follow Kirigan like a lapdog... those wishes would still be impossible. Vasily would be king and not him, true, but Nikolai would also hold the title of second in line until the saints made the bad decision of let his older brother reproduce. His range only joins with similar ones, and that was clear to her. They were from different worlds, even though they were in the same place and had a friendly and working relationship; although for other people the only place they shared was the blonde's room.
He was a Lantsov, and she was a girl with a miserable life who managed to get out of it. As good and exciting that sounded, it wouldn't matter to any of the nobles women who had been chosen by herself to carry the emerald that in the past she had only seen as a possession. Only the blood mattered, and the one from the squaller was not so perfect. What king in his right mind (although she often doubted Nikolai was) would choose a half suli as his wife? It would be a very stupid move, and although he used to do them quite often, Zoya knew he would never go to that extreme. He was stupid, but not an idiot.
"Zoya... are you ok?"
Nikolai's voice woke her from the trance. How much time had she spent thinking about him? She was hoping some healer had a solution to that problem, she was going to go crazy before the wedding. Maybe she could play the buffon in this one if she continued following the same path she was taking at the moment.
"Yeah. I was just thinking."
"In what?"
In you, but she only said that in her head.
"In this wedding. It seems like it's the only thing I can think about because to make all the decisions you ask me or make me choose." She hoped her tone of voice sounded angry enough to don't reveal that little vulnerability of hers.
"I didn't know weddings make you nostalgic."
Nostalgic? Yes, it was confirmed; Nikolai had completely lost his mind. Perhaps he would be the court jester at the wedding, or the both of them if the days that followed until the big ceremony didn't stop being the same.
"The day I'll be sad is going to be at my own funeral."
"But... you would be dead. The dead people don't cry."
"Exactly." She turned around again and looked across the table. Various objects were piled up on the long wooden plank, waiting to be choosen by the groom or the general. "Is there something wrong that makes you think I'm sad?"
"No, just that you're teary-eyed."
What? It couldn't be. She quickly fixed her eyes on the nearest mirror and... yes, it was true. Were there some onions nearby to put the blame on?
"It's just... that." She said quickly pointing to a bunch of lighted candles decorated with the Lantsov's shield. "Do you see how much smoke they put out? Do you want the whole palace to smell like barbecue instead of roses during the wedding?" A sigh escaped her lips and with a slight movement of her hand she invoked her power to turn them off as quickly as she could. They weren't the reason she was about to cry, but the smell and the smoke were true. "But they are a good tactic if you want us all to cry during the ceremony."
"They are the ones that allowed the budget. Genya has looked for very expensive materials."
Blessed Genya, Zoya thought, looking down at the papers beginning to cross out and scribble.
"Okay... we can change them for better quality ones if you forget about your artifacts and..." Her eyes look at all the remaining items on the table, checking their value and calculating which one wouldn't leave Ravka at overdrown. "And...we exchange the gold cloth for the blue one." The first was the more expensive of the two, but she didn't know why she had chosen it as the first option. Maybe it had to do with the color of the other? "What do you think?"
She cursed her next moves. She was so focused on finding an excuse for her very possible future tears that she didn't hear him move. She didn't hear how he approached the table, standing behind her to look over her shoulder to the objects; was he so interested now in the wedding preparations?
If she had known all this beforehand, she wouldn't have turned around thinking that he was leaning against the wall; away from her.
If she had known all that, she wouldn't be in that situation. Their faces wouldn't be excessively close and she wouldn't be thinking of grabbing the collar of his shirt that was sticking out of the gap in the front, left by his open jacket, and pulling him closer to kiss him.
In the past would she have? Of course, without hesitation, and she wouldn't have cared what title he held or if he wanted another against his fine lips. But now? No, it was no longer about wanting someone; but to love him. Because, no matter Zoya found it difficult and did not want to accept it, what she felt for the king in front of her was something deeper than what was said by rumors.
Her mind couldn't help but transport herself to that day when she made a big mistake. The day she opened up to him, thinking that maybe he was going to die bringing out the monster inside and she would have to return to Os Alta, alone, with a paper declaring her queen after his dead as the only memory she could treasure.
"For Ravka..." She whispered feeling a soft breeze of air swirl around her. Not now, she thought, noticing how her grisha attributes were appearing at the worst possible moment.
"What?" He asked, unable to avoid showing his confusion, but also without being able to control his gaze, which lowered to the other's lips.
"For Ravka Nikolai, you have to do this for Ravka." She groped the table with her free hand until she found a silk soft as a caress, balled it up in her hand, and threw it at Nikolai's face. "Not by spending money. You're emptying the arks too much for a simple wedding."
"After what I did... I have to fix it somehow." As he removed the cloth from his face, he watched how Zoya walked briskly to the other end of the table and began to look at it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world and wrote more on the ink-filled papers. "And Shu Han hasn't given much money for the ceremony either."
"After what you did?" Zoya gave a nervous laugh. Surely after that meeting the servants that were with them in that room would begin to release rumors about the little moment of closeness they had had. Perhaps they would say that the king had fallen in love with his once again fiancée and left the poor Zoya devastated? Some rare disease Zoya had passed on Nikolai from one of her many lovers? Would Nikolai have found out that Zoya only came to him because of his brother Vasily and that, after he passed away, she was no longer interested in him? She would rather pluck out her eyelashes than have any type of interest in the finally dead Vasily. "If I were Ehri Kir-Taban I would already have kicked your ass and sent you to the Wandering Isle. For free."
"A really deserved vacation." He answered with his usual sarcastic tone, but without taking his eyes off her. These last days Zoya was acting very strange, but to be honest, he too. Every day they woke up they remembered that the wedding was getting closer, as if they were only free from those thoughts in their dreams. "Where are you going?"
Zoya, as he spoke, had already opened the door with a burst of grisha air and was stepping under the threshold, putting the papers tightly again her chest.
"To prepare the wedding of someone who is old enough to do it by himself and without anyone's help."
"Is anyone else getting married and no one has told me?"
—————
"And please, the coffers are not for so much expenses." Zoya's hands gently laid the pile of papers on the small tea table in Genya's room. "Now I'll need to ration the money until Shu Han sends the dowry, and that's going to take a long time."
All those archaic traditions had always seemed complete nonsense to the black-haired woman, paying the future husband to marry a girl? Thinking about that reminded her of a 9 year old girl and a church, she didn't want to bring to her mind moments from the past to torment her. But now more than ever they needed those ancient practices.
"Is there something that worries you?" Genya said with a small smile, sitting down on the chair facing the squaller with a cup of steaming tea between her hands. Zoya wasn't in for tea, possibly just brandy; but that brought her mind back to a certain blond that, for the moment, she wanted to keep away from her head. "You know that the palace has ears, and in the end…"
"And in the end you discover everything." She finished, rolling her eyes for a few seconds that seemed like forever before continuing to speak. "But the ears are very big, and since they listen to so many things they misrepresent everything."
"We all like to hear some gossips." The teacup hit against the table as Genya put it down with a disgusted expression, having forgotten to put sugar in it. "And..."
"No." Zoya reached out and placed her hand on the cover of the sugar bowl, causing the redhead's palm to slam against hers as she reached for the object. "I'll start by rationing the sugar, if I were you I'd spend it well."
"I like weddings, but every day I hate this one more." The two couldn't help but look at each other and laugh at the same time, sincere laught that the blue-eyed girl hadn't thought she'd be able to let out during the month that lay ahead of them until the big day arrived. "What if we put hot powder on the wedding dress?"
"That's like asking to start a war." And although the sentence sounded worrying, her voice only said it with a joking tone which it was impossible, at the very least, to not smile. "But it would be fun to watch."
"Do you hate her?"
"If it weren't for her title and because she's our only salvation right now..." She sighed, looking up at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. "I would throw a bucket of that powder at her face myself. Someone innocent died because of her."
"Zoya...she has only been and still is a chess piece in her sister's game." Genya couldn't help but hesitate before keep going, even though she knew she needed to let it go as soon as possible. "She's like us before, some young girls who despite everything they were told were the same thing; chess pieces."
"Are you assuming that I am no longer young?" Zoya said in a teasing tone, just to try to avoid thinking about the last words she had said to her. But it was impossible, they had already gotten into her head.
"Looks like you've been spending too much time with a certain blond." Genya couldn't help but take off that seriousness and laugh when she heard it, it was as if she had him in front of her at that moment. "You already sound like him."
"Yes, however I think I'll ask for a raise." The tips of her fingers began to tap gently on the table, she needed to get some fresh air or she would end up less sane than some soldiers after being in the trenches. How could Nikolai have endured that? It was unbearable for someone ordinary, but for a royal person... No, today the hours of thinking about him are over, she said to herself, getting up from her chair in a quick movement. "There will never be enough money and jewels in the world to pay just what I deserve after all I have to put up with."
"I have Heard of one that..."
Oh no, not again. There was no need for Genya to be so mysterious about what she was talking about, the damned Lantsov emerald. She didn't know how she could read her so fast. If in the Little Palace were some grisha order where they dedicated themselves to discover who likes who she would be the saint of all; but for the moment she was grateful that it wasn't Corporalki to hear how her heart began to beat faster at the mention of that ring and the meaning.
"Genya..." She said her name with a slightly reprimanding tone that the other woman ignored.
"The princess that is going to come from Shu Han brings it. They say it shines like the sun and…"
If Genya had been talking for hours about the jewel... Zoya didn't notice. Her mind wandered over the thoughts she had been having. How could she have been such an idiot to think about the Lantsov ring? If it didn't show how insane she already was… she wouldn't know what more could indicate it.
"I have to go." She didn't want to talk about the damn wedding anymore, so she headed for the door as fast as her tired legs could carry her.
"Wait... I forgot to tell you that the princess arrived this morning."
"So soon? Still..."
In addition to having to put up with Nikolai now, would she also have someone else after her? That's it, she gave up talking care of the wedding. Let the future happy couple do it all.
"She might like dramatic entrances, at least the two of them would already have something in common."
"I hope they also have in common the desire to prepare weddings. I resign."
And as angry as she came in, she came out. It was time to train to release that anger and not accidentally throw someone into the air. However, if that happened with a certain princess and a certain king... she was sure that it wouldn't be a mistake.
—————
You can read the first part here.
You can read the third part here.
You can read the fourth part here.
You can read the fifth part here.
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violints-a-blog · 5 years
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@apocalypsedeterrent   :   i said: we’re afraid of this house and we’re not safe in our bones.
‘   I’M NOT AFRAID.   ’      oh   ,   she puts up a valiant effort   ,   but vanya has never been the best liar.   the phrase open book comes to mind.   here are the facts   :   vanya destroyed the mansion   ,   few short months ago  ,   &   here they are again   ,   so small and so lost.   rather   ,   she feels lost.   he seems to be doing fine   —   all results   ,   all what went wrong   &   how do we solve it?   (   it had taken her a week to say a single word   ,   afterwards.   father didn’t notice.   she still has trouble looking at allison   ,   at mom   ,   at pogo   ,   at the house who’s rubble she’d stood among like a god.   she does not feel godlike now.   )   
she shakes her head   ,   crosses her arms in that stubborn - shy way she’d formed as an adult.   vanya can try with all her might to convince the both of them that she’s feeling something other than fear   ,   but how   ,   when there’s so much for her to be afraid of?   (   mental list grows by the day   :   father finding out she’s no longer taking the pills   ,   being young and in this house again   ,   going out of her mind   &   destroying everything again   ,   herself herself herself.   oh   ,   she fears herself most of all   —   all she can do   ,   the monster reginald had locked away.   perhaps he was right to.   )
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‘   it’s fine.   ’      she no longer recognizes her voice as her own   ,   here   ,   &   sometimes she looks down at her hands   &   wonders if this is just one long nightmare she’ll wake from.   her memories of being this young the first time around are blurred at best   —   &   now she’s forced into recollection   ,   acting the part of herself.   it grows more difficult by the day.   but it’s fine.
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chateautae · 3 years
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maybe i do | kth. II
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➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.
↳  part of the high-class series!
➵ pairing : taehyung x reader
➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 10k
➵ warnings : none really, swearing, mainly fluffy and funny interactions, some angst! :o 
➵ a/n: and i’m back with chapter two! i really wanted to say thank you for the love and support i received on the first part of maybe i do, it was astounding!! i’m so grateful so many people loved the story and asked to be tagged (all at the bottom <3), it made me feel so motivated to write. if you would also like to be tagged please message me. your feedback is always appreciated! 
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chapter two : “on my pillow, can’t get me tired” 
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Taehyung didn’t remember sleeping anywhere near you last night. 
He remembered that even though you willingly agreed to share the same bed, he still opted for caution and slept with the most space between you two as possible.
Though when his eyes fluttered open the next morning, eyeballs burning from the light that bled into the suite, the first thing he realized was that he was not on his side of the bed from last night. 
No, he had somehow gravitated towards the center, and as if almost on cue, your slight movement and the sound of your breathing alerted him of your nearby presence. 
Peering down at you, Taehyung caught sight of your sleepy head turned towards him and lying on his arm, his other thrown over your torso with you unsuspectingly nuzzled into his side.
Taehyung’s eyes shot open, acknowledging he had succumbed to his habit of hugging something to sleep during the course of the night and he internally panicked. He began retracting his arms slowly, just about drawing himself from you until alarms rang in his head at the sight of you stirring in your sleep. 
Taehyung took the golden opportunity to sit up in a flash, having to physically shake his head to rid the image of your tranquil, sleeping face from his brain, crushing the thought that it was kind of cute.
He found himself chanting the same denial from last night, he couldn’t be thinking of such complicated things concerning you when he knew the second he’d step foot inside his home, there’d be a mountain of paperwork ready for him; even more on his work desk.
He had to be thinking about his job, not you.  
Even if Taehyung was married now, it wouldn’t lessen the amount of work that plagued his life nor make it any less demanding. If anything, his life would be harder now considering the fact that he had another priority to add to his list, another aspect of his life he had to split his attention between. 
He didn’t necessarily hate the idea, just found himself needing to work harder than he already was. 
Taehyung sighed heavily at the thought and swung his legs off the bed, rubbing his tired eyes. He took a moment to look back at you, thinking if he observed you a second time he’d be able to piece together how the hell you two ended up in that position, that close. 
By evidence of the forgotten blanket half-thrown off you, he could see you were the tossing-and-turning type, maybe the only explanation for your proximity considering he was the same. 
He also noticed you slept all curled up, like you were cold and the only warmth you knew was snuggling yourself.
Cute.
There it was again, cute. 
Why does that word even exist? 
Taehyung discarded the notion altogether and stood to his feet, stretching out his stiff muscles. He made for the bathroom eagerly to begin his day, though not without fixing at least some of the blanket back onto you. 
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“You don’t have a driver?” 
“Not for everywhere I go. I have two hands, I can drive myself.” Taehyung made it a statement to jazz hands at you, showcasing the perfectly capable limbs he was gifted with.
“That’s.. nice, actually. I always see asshole CEO’s getting other people to drive them around.” You relayed as you trailed behind Taehyung, letting him lead you towards the front of the hotel where dozens of expensive cars lined the curb side.
You had no clue which luxury vehicle belonged to Taehyung because quite frankly, he could probably afford every car your eyes caught sight of. It wasn’t until he approached a certain one and retrieved his keys from the valet that your jaw completely dropped, floored.
“This is your car?” You gawked, the sleek design, crispness of its shape and nearly sparkling gloss completely sweeping you off your feet.
“Yeah, think someone like me can’t get a car like this?” Taehyung cocked an eyebrow, gesturing towards himself.   
“It’s just-wow. Mercedes CLS?” You inquired without really looking at him, inspecting the car instead as you admired its every curve. Safe to say, you were beyond in love with it. Even if you were always more of a minimalist and preferred the average product, there was just something gorgeous about luxury cars that appealed to you.
“Yeah, actually it is.” Taehyung looked at you impressed, momentarily reminded of just how different you were compared to any other woman he’s chanced upon. 
How many of them knew car models?
Taehyung was intrigued by the fact before speaking with one of the hotel workers, confirming if they had loaded his car with both your luggage and some wedding sentiments your parents insisted you keep. 
Once receiving affirmation Taehyung made towards your side of the car and pulled the door open. He flashed you a tight-lipped smile as he gestured for you to hop in, drawing you out of your stupor. You thanked him warmly before sliding into your seat. 
He let you scramble in comfortably before shutting the door and walking to his side, positioning himself in and clicking on his seatbelt. He watched as your expression lit up once occupying the car, face beaming with excitement as you touched and drank in at the high-end features the vehicle had to offer. Taehyung found himself smiling before he licked his lips and straightened his face, igniting the engine and beginning the smooth drive. 
It was easy to settle the debate on where you both would be living. Taehyung was an enormously rich CEO who lived in an expensive, massive home while you lived in a measly apartment. You knew it was useless to live separately, even more useless to have him live with you. And so you agreed without protest to pack your things and relocate, begin your move into the house you’d share with him for a lifetime. 
The car ride remained quite silent, you mindlessly bopping your head to whatever mainstream song played on the radio, while Taehyung tapped his fingers against the steering wheel or his lap. 
You found your eyes wandering to his slender fingers wrapped around the wheel every so often, sometimes venturing to the other one he placed against his thigh. You began reprimanding yourself once you realized with all the staring, observing and ogling, you most certainly had a thing for his hands already. 
Fuck. 
They were just so big, bigger than what you’ve seen of the average man and it didn’t help that they looked crafted to perfection. 
There was just something about the veins that decorated them, his palm large in size as his fingers seemed deft turning and working the steering wheel. His little accessories like a ring or two, bracelets and his watch did absolutely nothing to deter your interest either.
It only increased once you realized he looked good driving, really good. You knew men had this common attractiveness to them when they drove, watching them all focused and effortlessly working the car somehow sexy; but watching Taehyung drive was another experience entirely. 
He looked insanely hot, and you felt like throwing yourself out your window for even thinking such a thing. It was another case of you ogling him without realizing until his deep voice suddenly fished you out of your thoughts, questioning. “Did you like the wedding?” 
“Huh?” 
“The wedding, did you like it?” Taehyung repeated, glancing at you. 
“Does it really matter if I did?” You asked, this one phrase seeming to perfectly sum up the misfortune of your life, provoking an ironic laugh even. 
“I think it does. A bride should always enjoy her wedding.” 
“Well, I didn’t.” You deadpanned, your expression turning frustrated having to remember that one of, if not the most special night of your life had just been robbed of you, thrown to the wolves while you were only left to accept the sad fact. 
“C’mon, you didn’t enjoy a single thing?” Taehyung didn’t mean to flash back to the kiss you two shared, though found himself doing exactly so. 
You didn’t enjoy that? he questioned in his head. 
“Not really, I just imagined having more choice in the wedding.” You answered honestly, trying not to sulk so much. “It’s not you, I just... thought I’d be able to decide things at my own wedding. I’m grateful your parents did so much, but I didn’t really get to choose anything.” You grew more solemn as your gaze fixated on nothing, watching the world pass you by through the car window. 
“My favourite flowers weren’t even there.” You said only despondently to yourself, shoulders drooping, though Taehyung didn’t miss it. 
“You don’t like roses?”
Your eyes flashed towards him with furrowed eyebrows, surprised he heard your comment. You straightened up before shrugging back a response. “I like peonies.” 
Taehyung looked at your side profile as you turned away, finding the conversation turning more sorrowful than he liked. He allowed some silence to linger as you leaned your chin against your palm, boringly watching the bustling streets.  
He decided to change the subject.
“So you don’t think I’m an asshole, huh?” 
“What?”
“You said you always see ‘asshole CEO’s’ getting people to drive them around. But I don’t, so I’m not an asshole to you?” Taehyung halved his attention between you and the road, glancing in your direction with one hand working the steering wheel.
You thought the question over, “No, you’re not an asshole.” You said simply, distracted by the thoughts that previously occupied your mind. 
“I see.” Taehyung pursed his lips. Another beat of silence passed through the downcast air before Taehyung perked up again.
“Is it just the driving? Or do you have other criteria?” Taehyung asked inquisitively, leaning back into his seat as he observed you. 
You could detect from the corner of your eyes the way his stance drew attention to his legs, thighs broad as he sat. “I guess there is.” 
“Like what?”
You didn’t really know why Taehyung was so curious. You thought it was common knowledge what the stereotypical asshole CEO was like; they were nearly all jerks with horrible one-percenter mentalities and treated people like gravel.  
You scoffed a bit. “They’re usually so full of themselves. They act like they own the place all the time, which makes sense at their own companies but not everywhere else. It’s like the position gets to their heads. Even the way they talk is condescending, belittling, or straight up rude to anyone not on their level. It wouldn’t kill to be nice.” You revealed almost too eagerly, avoiding eye contact with Taehyung as you viewed the traffic on the road ahead, remembering he was a CEO himself. 
Long story short, you’ve had your fair share of experiences meeting them as you grew up during the beginnings of your father’s company. They were quick to skew your opinion ever since you watched the way they treated your father all due to having a start-up, for simply being small in name or reputation. They acted like he was less than, some even daring to behave as though his company would simply never make it. 
It always boiled your blood, left an extremely distasteful image of CEOs and the business world in your head. 
And you were certain it all sucked after that. 
“Understandable.” Taehyung nodded agreeably. “But you think I don’t fit any of that?” He rested a hand against his thigh, sitting laxed as he spread his legs apart further. This time it was definitely hard to miss the way they appeared, all laid out and long as your eyes drank him in, following up his thighs all the way to his-
“You don’t. I thought maybe since you’re super successful you’d be full of yourself. But you’re not, really.” You snapped yourself out of whatever the hell you were doing, trying to refocus on the conversation.
“Ah, seems like a stepping stone.” 
“Stepping stone? Towards what?”
“Towards you not hating me.” His voice came out with a more solemn timbre than you expected, his jaw tightening for a mere second. 
Taehyung only thought such a thing because even if he decided you didn’t harbour negative feelings towards him, there was no way of him determining whether that was true or not without your real input. 
“I don’t hate you, Taehyung. I don’t.. think I can.” You claimed with poignancy, his statement causing you to reflect on your own feelings about him. 
You don’t hate Taehyung, you couldn’t because he did absolutely nothing wrong in this situation. He was dragged in just like you were. You only despised the unfairness of the arrangement, not him. 
There wasn’t much to hate about him.  
“So you’re saying you like me then, aren’t you?” Taehyung suddenly teased light-heartedly, all smug as his amused eyes flickered to you. 
“Shut up, I never said that.” You turned away, scandalized by his remark. 
“I’m kidding. But, why do you think you can’t hate me? I pretty much.. ruined your life.” Taehyung internally felt his chest tighten at the words, remembering the exact thoughts from where he stood no less than 24 hours ago, seconds from lawfully marrying you. 
“And I didn’t ruin yours?” This time you turned your gaze towards Taehyung, meaningfully. Your eyes instinctively communicated your emotions as they locked with his for a moment, Taehyung all attentive. 
“I took away from you just as much you took away from me. We both ruined each other’s lives, there’s no use in blaming each other. That’s why I can’t hate you.” You finalized, crossing your arms and opting to watch the passing buildings through your window again. 
Taehyung absorbed your sudden confession with reason, realizing that in a sense, you two were partners in this unfortunate case. Even if your matrimony constituted a forced partnership neither of you liked, there seemed to be a natural comradery in having to deal with the aftermath of that forced partnership. 
Trying to accept it. 
“I don’t think I can hate you, either.” Taehyung admitted, ending the more miserable part of the conversation as you fell silent. You thought he was done until he decided to bother you again. 
“I think you’re still saying you like me, though.” 
You turned to him half-appalled before pointing towards the road, eyes narrowed. “Just drive us home, will you?” 
Taehyung laughed at the moment and pressed down on the accelerator, internally grinning at the fact you never said no to his statement. 
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“This is your house?” You found yourself gawking again at something that belonged to Taehyung, stepping inside a luxury home you’ve only ever dreamed of living in. Sure, you lived with your parents until you were 18, though your father was still starting out with his company for most of those years, not exactly owning anything too luxurious until after you permanently moved out.
So as you stood trying to prop your heels off yourself, your jaw dropped at the sheer elegance and high-status look to the interior of Taehyung’s home. You had already done enough gawking at the exterior, but being inside and processing the fact that you were now to inhabit this home for the rest of your life sent another wave of shock. 
You immediately observed Taehyung was the type who decorated his home with only the finest, his taste easily identifiable. Aesthetic, lavish, charming. He seemed like a man of utter simplicity though his home said otherwise, showcasing an artistic, exquisite feel you never really expected from him. 
“When will you stop saying that?” He titled his head and smiled through a laugh, removing his shoes and slipping into his indoor slippers. 
“Right, sorry.” You were still struggling for normalcy, somehow forgetting almost every hour Taehyung’s wealth and only registering it once you saw something that indicated it. 
Taehyung sauntered inside and took a deep breath, enjoying the feel of his abode. He enjoyed nothing more than being home, in the comfort of his own space. Especially for someone who worked so busily, he found pleasure in doing the bare minimum at home. Relishing in the feeling right now, he pressed his lips together in a smile before glancing back at your struggling figure, catching sight of your size. 
His eyebrows shot up to the sky. “Woah, you’re short.” 
“Huh?” 
“I think I’ve only ever seen you in heels.” Taehyung informed. “Now that you’re not wearing them you’re a lot shorter than I thought. You’re tiny.” He pointed out as he eyed you from head to toe, processing the amount of height you lost simply from removing your shoes. 
“I mean, that’s kind of what heels do, you know, they add height.” You deadpanned, stating the obvious for him. 
“Sorry, it’s just..” Kind of cute, he thought, though fought for another response. “I could probably throw you.” 
Nice save. 
“Excuse me? It’s not my fault you’re so tall.” You scowled at him. “Besides, you’re all height and no muscle, you probably can’t even carry me.” 
“Wanna see me try?” Taehyung was already coming towards you with his arms held out and you sputtered immediately, “No, no, no.” you held your hands up defensively. “Let’s just start the house tour, yeah?” you offered a smile for compromise. 
“That’s what I thought.” Taehyung narrowed his eyes coyly and turned on his heel, signaling you to follow him. 
What you realized strolling through the home as Taehyung discussed its details was that it emphatically represented him like an open book. Even if Taehyung was predominantly unreadable and seemed to always hide a mystery behind his eyes, you could see nearly all of him reflected in his home. 
You often found valuable trinkets or sentiments scattered around the house. It seemed like he cherished a lot of things in his life, namely memories or people. It would also be hard to miss the exquisite selection of paintings and embellishments he draped the walls with, all harbouring their own charm and adding to the overall artistic feel of his home. 
There were famous works consisting of Vincent Van Gogh all the way to local Korean artists you’ve never heard of, though admired their work. 
It seemed as though he selected the paintings himself. 
Another large aspect you couldn’t miss were the many photos he kept, calling to question whether they were of his own work. 
“Did you take these?” You approached a shelf in one of his grand hallways on the second floor, hand brushing the wooden frame of a captured photo; six men including Taehyung himself posing comfortably, like they were extremely close, backdrop reflecting what seemed to be a trip.  
“I took all of them.” He stated casually, hands tucked into his pockets as he eyed the shelf along with you. 
“All?” 
He simply nodded and didn’t elaborate further as he watched you admire the photos, yourself impressed by his adeptness for photography. 
“You’re really good.” You complimented absentmindedly, enjoying the other photos of not only people but scenery, empty streets, candid shots from what looked to be his own little adventures. 
“Thanks.” Was all Taehyung could manage, trying to mask the sheer gratitude he felt hearing the first ever person to admire his work; something that wasn’t related to being a CEO or a businessman. 
He also felt slightly embarrassed you’d seen a small part of him he usually hid.
Taehyung continued walking down the hallway until he reached the end, revealing what you could tell was the largest room in the house. You were thrown off by just how unnecessarily large it was. It seriously reminded you of an extravagant hotel suite, more like the grandest one among them. 
“This is our room.” Taehyung introduced, gesturing towards its interior. 
“Our?” 
Taehyung nodded “I should’ve told you earlier but I wanted us to sleep in the same room. If we slept apart our marriage wouldn’t look convincing to my two housekeepers. I trust them but I don’t want any information about us getting out to the public, not over my dead body.” Taehyung stated in earnest as he relayed the information, wandering further into the room. 
“You really care that much about publicity?” you genuinely questioned. 
Taehyung scoffed. “Not me, I couldn’t care less about what people think.” He denied instantly, almost laughably. “It’s my father. He hates bad press, especially concerning our family or the company.” 
“I thought bad press is still press, so it’s good.” You suggested as you followed him further into the room, admiring that though large, his room held a sense of comfort to it. Quite frankly, all of his home felt rather welcoming and cozy, surprising of a CEO who ran such a monstrously successful company.
“My father doesn’t think so. Kim Enterprises has always been generational, each of our CEO positions strictly kept within the family. Our name is our brand and pride, it alone accounts for at least half of our success. We’re extremely well-known for our high status, it’s just plain fact in the upper social circles of Korea. We can’t afford to taint our name with petty things like bad press or corruption, our reputation is too valuable.” Taehyung stated this all nonchalantly as he adjusted his suit jacket in his mirror, like it was something he’s grown accustomed to and has known all his life. 
You found your opinion impeding his words.  
“So you can never just, escape this life? As long as you’re a Kim you’re bound to this company?” You found the concept wildly restrictive, clearly shackling down any person that would run the business and you felt a disagreeing shiver shoot through your spine. 
“Of course, why would you want anything else?” Taehyung tiled his head to the side, eyeing you in genuine questioning and your entire being was trying to bite back the desire to correct him, tell him there’s so much more to life than just some company your family owns. Though you opted for changing the subject instead, unwilling to step on his toes and dictate his life when you knew next to nothing about it. 
It wasn’t your place. 
“Woah, you have a balcony?!” You exclaimed with a simper, eyes flickering towards the curtains that revealed two ajar French doors leading to an open space.
You made towards it excitedly and stopped just in the middle of the platform, enjoying the breeze of the fresh air.
“It’s my favourite part of the house.” You didn’t even realize Taehyung followed you until his towering figure stood directly behind you, feeling his proximity permeate through your body. 
You swallowed. 
“Why don’t you look at the view?” Taehyung cocked his head towards the railing of the balcony, though you didn’t move a step. 
You weren’t about to tell Taehyung you’re terribly afraid of heights.
“I-I can see from here. Wow, looks beautiful.” You perked up superficially, trying to throw him off and changing the subject again. “By the way, what’s our closet situation gonna look like?” 
“Ah, let me show you.” Taehyung strided back into the room towards the sliding double doors you spotted earlier. He almost theatrically glided both dark wooden panels open and your jaw dropped for the 47th time today. 
You were welcomed by a ridiculously large walk-in closet, enough to be renovated into its own bedroom. You simply couldn’t normalize its size, especially after registering every suit, tie, watch or accessory Taehyung stored in the gracious space. 
You couldn’t even begin to imagine how much money lied in here. 
“Oh my God.” Was all you could manage, meandering in sparingly as you viewed each and every expensive piece he owned in the room, no doubt of the highest quality designers, finest of men’s fashion. 
“You don’t have to worry about unpacking and moving in here, the housekeepers will do that for you.” Taehyung watched as you looked upon in awe, finding the way your eyes sparkled with emotion very similar to that of Bambi’s.  
“How will I fit-”
“I specifically made space for you, there’s enough.” Taehyung stated, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. He’d resolved a while ago he really would try to take this marriage seriously, victoriously achieve the work-life balance his father kept preaching. 
He saw giving up his closet space as the first step. 
It was indeed so because Taehyung thoroughly enjoyed fashion. He genuinely adored every suit, accessory and outfit in his collection, though if he wanted to reach this new goal of balance, successfully add you to his list of priorities, then he had to be willing to cut down. 
Even if that meant reallocating a third of his exorbitant wardrobe just for you, he’d try not to mind. 
“Are you sure? I could just use another room’s-” 
“I want to.” Taehyung finalized as his eyes turned unreadable from across the room, locking his gaze with yours and you were only left to look back impressed, his generosity unforeseen. 
“Thank you.” You voiced a little weak, still shy by the suffocating nature of his stare. 
“Don’t mention it.” He offered plainly, propping himself off the wall. He looked off to the side eyeing the empty pockets of space he left for you, until your voice called out to him.  
“Taehyung.”
“Hm?” He snapped his vision back to you. 
You wanted to ask him something, more so a favour and you were unsure how to word the request. “Um.. I didn’t want to ask so openly, but..” You found yourself beating around the bush, timid of what his response would be. 
“Go on.” 
“Um, so it seemed like there were a lot of empty rooms in this house, and I was just wondering if I could maybe.. transform one of them into an art studio for myself?” You winced at your own request. 
“I’m sorry, it’s just I had one at my old place and it really grew on me. I would get most of my work done in that room and gained a lot of inspiration from it. I have a lot of art supplies and designed often in that studio, so I need a home for all my supplies and it would suck getting rid of it all. I’m sorry it means I would have to steal one of your rooms in the house, if you don’t want me to then-” 
Taehyung couldn’t help but break out into a small grin as he watched you ramble on, shyly fidget with your fingers, so apprehensive of asking him for something and it reminded him why he was so eager to provide you with anything you wanted. 
You spent too long trying to do everything on your own, achieve everything on your own, relying solely on yourself. Taehyung could see this all as plain as day, quite enjoying of how he’s never really met someone like you, and wanted you to know you didn’t always have to be so independent.  
Especially with him. 
“Y/N.” He called out to you with the same honey-coloured tone from last night, stopping you. Your eyes flickered to his, awaiting his next sentence and Taehyung already found himself having a thing for your doe-eyes. 
Fuck. 
“Of course you can have a room. You can have anything in this house. It’s yours.” Taehyung stated with a degree of assurance, his eyes locking with yours in earnest. 
You both shared a look as your lips curved into a gracious smile, biting your lip to contain it. His stare wasn’t so much intimidating as it was merely.. calm. Gazing at you for the sole purpose of gazing, and you found some heat rushing to your face under his scrutiny. 
Taehyung seemed to realize he was staring and immediately cleared his throat, turning a little nervous as he began another conversation. “So um, I’m sorry to say this,” he began with unease, almost apprehensive and you didn’t know what he was so sorry about. “But I have work today.” 
You blinked. “What?” 
Taehyung internally winced at your reaction, hands finding his pockets. “I took some time off for the wedding, so now I have twice the amount of work left behind. I need to complete it.” He informed straightforwardly. 
“Our wedding was just yesterday, though, aren’t you tired?” You were only taken aback because you were slightly concerned for his wellbeing, wasn’t he tired from yesterday? You recalled him knocking out almost immediately upon hitting the pillow of your hotel bed last night, snoozing away. 
“Maybe, but I can’t afford to rest. I’ll only have more to complete if I do, so I won’t be spending anymore time with you today.” Taehyung relayed the information, readying himself for the even greater disappointing news he’d be passing on. 
“Actually, we won’t be able to go on our honeymoon, either.” Taehyung thought it was best to slip in all the bad news, growing more and more unrelaxed as he was unsure of how you’d react. 
Though what you said next had him nearly floored.
“Honeymoon? Taehyung, that’s the least of my concerns, you should at least rest a day before getting back to work. That’s not really healthy.” You chastised him as lightly as possible, still afraid to be stepping on his toes when you didn’t know his life. 
Taehyung was certain you’d hate having been stripped of a beautiful vacation where you could’ve relaxed in the sun and tropics of Cancun. Your father had mentioned to him you’ve always longed to visit the breath-taking city in Mexico, its clear waters and tropical air as a means to truly get away from your stifling life. 
So when he found you disregarding the trip altogether and instead focusing on him, more precisely his health, he was left damn well speechless. 
There you were again paying attention to the littlest things about him he didn’t care much for; he still had that bandage you offered him a month ago tucked into one of his pockets, not wanting to use the adhesive just yet. 
“I’ll be fine. I’m just sorry we can’t go on the vacation because of me, it would’ve been nice, you know?” Taehyung apologized, feeling genuinely guilty for having ruined the honeymoon. Even if you two weren’t going to travel as some lovey-dovey couple, you both simply could’ve enjoyed the time off.
“It’s okay, just, at least work from home today. Heading to the office would be too much.” You suggested for the sake of the fatigue you could discern on him. 
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m gonna be home for the next few days since everyone thinks we’ll be on our honeymoon.” 
“Oh. That’s.. good.” You nodded faintly, half at the idea you two were even faking your honeymoon and half at the blasphemous energy he had to work after yesterday. 
The sleep from last night was nearly not enough to recharge from the antics of the wedding, having drained your batteries for the next few days. You were certain his were drained too; he was half the damn couple. 
“I should get going. I’ll send Mrs. Choi and Seo up with your things. They’re probably finished with lunch too, you should eat.” Taehyung advised as he stepped out of the walk-in closet, running a hand through his gorgeous hair and you couldn’t help but ogle at the sexy way his strands fell back on him. 
“Okay.” You voiced as you followed him out, watching him near the room’s door and just about to vacate the premise before you spoke up. “Taehyung.” 
He stopped in his tracks, peering back at you. “Yes?” 
“You should eat something, too.”
Taehyung half-smiled at you with a nod “Sure”, before stepping out of the room, leaving you alone. 
And you couldn’t help but kind of like the way he smiles. 
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It was well into the evening now, bordering dinner time as you helped the last of your clothes into Taehyung’s closet, refusing to let the older housekeepers do all the work by themselves considering it was your own luggage. 
You also tried to occupy Taehyung’s room as scarcely as you could with your belongings, feeling odd about suddenly moving in with all your might and changing things around. It just didn’t feel appropriate, like you were invading his space and so you opted for scattering only your necessary items.
“That should be the last of it, Mrs. Choi.” You retrieved your last piece of clothing from the rather soft-spoken housekeeper, tucking the blazer away among the rest. You were satisfied to see not only your wardrobe neatly organized now, but fit just about right with Taehyung’s things. 
He was right about space, there was enough.
“Mrs. Kim, please rest. You didn't have to move a muscle at all for us.” Mrs. Choi remarked, genuinely concerned for you. 
“Yes, please, Mrs. Kim. We can finish up with the little things. I’ve just finished preparing dinner downstairs, you should eat.” Mrs. Seo chimed in as she entered the walk-in closet, gesturing towards the door. 
“Are you sure? I can-”
“Mrs. Kim, you’re very kind for offering your help, we’re very grateful you’ve done so. Though we are Mr. Kim’s housekeepers, we are meant to care for his home and his lovely wife. You need not worry about helping us.” Mrs. Choi stated with an earnest tone, speaking respectfully as she addressed you. 
You were going to protest again before you considered her words, registering that if you indeed helped them, it would technically negate the entire purpose of their work. 
You bit back your reply as a result, crafting a new one. 
“I see, I’m sorry, Mrs. Seo, Mrs. Choi. I’m just.. very used to doing things on my own,” you looked towards the ground. “I apologize.” You almost dipped for a bow until Mrs. Choi rapidly cautioned you, scrambling towards your figure. 
“Oh dear, Mrs. Kim! You do not need to bow to us, you’re Mr. Kim’s wife, you are the one who is bowed to.” 
“Yes, you do not need to apologize either, we appreciate your help, it was very sweet of you.” Mrs. Seo added with a warm smile, bowing to you instead. “Please go for dinner downstairs, I’ve also informed Mr. Kim for dinner, though I’m unsure if he has made his way down yet.” She added on, urging you towards the room's exit and you recognized it was probably better to listen to her. 
Even if all this high-class, status stuff had yet to sink in or make sense to you after being away for so long, you understood there was an eventual tolerance you had to build for it. Just as Mrs. Choi said, you’re Kim Taehyung’s wife now, and that came with a hell lot of status you hadn’t even scratched the surface of yet.
You could already tell it was going to be a pain in the ass. 
“I suppose I should. I’ll get going, then.” You smiled graciously at both women, appreciative of their kindness and began vacating the closet. You just about pulled the room door open before Mrs. Seo suddenly came to you.
“Oh! Mrs. Kim,” she halted you. “I was informed by Mr. Kim to provide this to you. He would have done so himself though he’s quite busy at the moment.” Mrs. Seo extended her hand and presented a pristine looking card, black and incredibly sleek in design. Your eyebrows furrowed until you noticed the telltale symbols, almost ominously minimal branding indicating a rare card only those with some of the highest networths in Korea could own. 
Your eyes widened in horror. 
The Black Card. 
“P-pardon?” You needed her to reiterate, there was no way Kim Taehyung was giving you a black card, the same card that was limitless on credit and only exclusively owned by the affluent one-percenters of society. 
“He’s informed me this belongs to you now, and that you’re to keep it in your possession.” Mrs. Seo elaborated, smiling through the mental whiplash you were currently experiencing.  
“Belongs to.. me? This is mine?” You were still having trouble processing, why would Taehyung be gifting you this? Who’s account was it even attached to? Was it yours and he’s decided to graciously pay all the expensive fees, or worse, was it joined with his own account? 
Don’t tell me it’s joined with his account.  
“Yes, Mrs. Kim. It’s yours.” Mrs. Seo held it out more outwardly, nudging it in your direction. 
Your mouth fell agape for another second before you mentally collected yourself, quickly grabbing the card and thanking her as you made your exit, marching through the house for Taehyung’s unbelievable ass. 
Taehyung could not be providing you with this card. It was irrational, simply had to have been a decision he made with at least two bottles of soju in him, right? You didn’t care what his reasoning would be, you were denying and returning this. There was no way in hell you’d accept this card, especially if he linked his own personal account to it. 
You tried loosely recalling where Taehyung mentioned his study, logically assuming he was working there. You inspected majority of the second floor, working your way through the halls until you finally caught sight of the familiar wooden doors with glass panels, slightly ajar, light bleeding through.
You made for the room quickly and stormed in without a care, attempting to steady your breathing from all the rushing around. You caught Taehyung completely off guard, having shredded his suit jacket to instead sport the rolled up sleeves of his dress shirt, adorning black-rimmed, designer glasses. 
He looked 100x hotter than he should’ve. 
Taehyung suddenly propped up from the leaned-back position he’d assumed on his chair, expression caught by surprise. “Y/N?” He questioned, eyebrows furrowing. 
You held up the card and addressed him immediately. “Taehyung, what’s this? Why are you giving this to me?” You huffed, looking at him incredulously. 
“The card? For you to use..?” Taehyung responded cooperatively, confused as to why you seemed so frazzled. 
“But why, Taehyung? This is a black card, the annual fees on this are insane and I can’t pay-” 
“You’re not paying for them, I am.” Taehyung cut in, shutting the binder he was holding and placing it on his desk. 
“What? No, no way. If it’s my account then I should be the one-”
“It’s not your account, either, it’s mine.” Taehyung brought his elbows to his desk, hands clasped together in front of his lips. It was now he gave you that same intimidating stare he did back when you first met him, calculative and devoid of expression. 
It seemed he did this when he got serious. 
“Your account? But-Taehyung, this is your money, I can’t just have it. Please, take this back.” You stepped towards his desk to return the card eagerly, but Taehyung’s firm tone stopped you. 
“No, it’s yours. I gave it to you to keep.” His words held this underlying sense of authority, scratch that, dominance when he spoke seriously, resolute. You could instantly tell he possessed a natural sense of alpha male characteristics, enough that even though he wasn’t being harsh or looming, his words and the tone he coated them with held more power than you could manifest. 
You almost cowered, but remained adamant on returning the card. It was worse with the card attached to his account, you couldn’t just keep Taehyung’s money like it was your own, it simply wasn’t. Your money sat ordinarily in a separate account on a separate card, which you were happy enough to use. You weren’t going to mooch off of him, it went against every principle that made up your very being. 
“This is your money, Taehyung. I have no right to use it.” 
“You’re my wife. You have every right in the world to use it.” Taehyung countered with no emotion, or at least any you could discern, uncertain what was running through his mind with only his eyes as a guide towards the answer. 
And you knew his eyes didn’t tell. 
“Taehyung, this doesn’t feel right to me. This isn’t my money and I can’t use it.” You emphasized more strongly, drawing closer to his desk though halting your actions once he spoke again. 
“My money is your money, you can always use it.” You knew he was relaxed, appearing practically unbothered as he leaned onto his desk and eyed you. Though with the intense look in his eyes, his aura screaming for anyone within the vicinity to submit to him, he could easily seem frustrated with the situation, namely you. 
And it made you want to crawl into a hole.
“No, it isn’t. I’ve already intruded your home, taken your closet, your room and even an extra one just for myself. I will not take your money either. Please, take this back.” You held out the card more prominently, desperate to have him understand you.
Taehyung wasn’t necessarily frustrated by you, no, he was slightly pissed you kept referring to everything as just his and not yours, that he was the only one considering you two as a married couple now while you still viewed each other separately.
Did you not see him as your husband yet?
He also disliked the fact that you seemed scared of him, or unable to trust him like last night. He could see you fighting back the urge to cower away, genuinely upsetting him you still held a degree of fear and unsureness in your eyes. 
Why are you so afraid of me? 
“Y/N, everything isn’t just mine anymore, it’s yours, too. We’re a married couple, husband and wife. What’s mine is yours.” Taehyung tried to reason, loosening himself up more to seem less intimidating, more approachable.
“But money, Taehyung-it’s different. I didn’t even want to take my own father’s money, there’s no way I’ll take yours, please.” Pleading leaked into your tone as you lips started doing that thing where they just about pout, emphasizing their plushiness and Taehyung couldn’t help but notice it again. 
He started growing frustrated as he removed his glasses, placing them on his desk and pinching the bridge of his nose. It seemed like he was digesting the situation, searching for the best approach.
“Y/N, look. I know the kind of situation you had with your father, but I’m not him. Didn’t you hear what Mrs. Choi and Seo addressed you as?” 
You thought it over, unknowing of where he was taking this. “They.. called me Mrs. Kim.”
“Exactly. Even my last name is yours, everything I have is yours. I’m your husband, I’m always going to provide you with things from now on. That card is just one of many.” Taehyung offered his best explanation, making sure his tone wasn’t as serious to sidetrack any fear you still had.
“I understand. But this is a black card, Taehyung, and it’s your hard-earned money, not mine. It feels wrong even just having it.” You couldn’t fight your inner turmoil, you genuinely believed this to be wrong. After spending almost a decade trying to work for yourself, pay for yourself, seldom seeking the help of another, this just left a disagreeing feeling to churn in your stomach.
Taehyung sighed heavily before pushing his chair back, rising from his seat. He made his way over to you where you grew unintentionally defensive, retracting from him slightly as he neared you. He noticed it and pursed his lips, reaching out for your upper arms and taking them warmly, tenderly, waiting for your eyes to meet his before he spoke to you.
“Y/N, do you remember what I said before I kissed you yesterday?”
Your eyes widened having been reminded of the intimate moment, nodding at him innocently. Taehyung witnessed you trying to avoid eye contact and found himself softening. 
“I didn’t say that without reason. I meant it when I said I would take care of you. Your father is a different story, if you don’t want to use his money, I respect that. But I’m your husband, and I want to be a good one. I want to give you things.. do things for you simply because I want to.” Taehyung reasoned, gripping you lightly. “I want you to use my money, you’re allowed to use it.” He tried voicing with sincerity, earnestly, hoping he could change your mind.
He saw you still hesitating to accept the offer, however, deciding on a compromise.
“Look, you don’t have to use it all the time. You can still use your own card, but you can use mine here and there. Seriously, Y/N, using it won’t even make a dent on me. I’m the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, use it at your discretion.” Taehyung could practically see your gears shifting, searching for your eyes as he wished you’d understand him. 
He saw this as a second step towards work-life balance, only feeling the responsibility and genuine desire to be the good husband in spite of the unfortunate nature of your marriage. He didn’t want any doubt concerning his ability to be a good husband, either.
After all, when Taehyung did something, he always did the best he possibly could.
“Okay, I guess you’re right. But I do have my own money, and I’ll be using that 100x more often than yours.” You relaxed and oddly let him hold you, looking down at the black card that rested in your hand and clutching it to your palm.
Taehyung realized he was still holding you and let go, retiring to fluff his hair instead. You caught a glimpse of his bicep underneath his rolled up sleeve as he did so, and you truly hated you chose a time like this to find him stunningly attractive.
“You should come downstairs, Mrs. Seo prepared dinner.” You ignored your thoughts.
“You go first, I’ll be down in a second.”
You nodded agreeably and turned away, leaving his study. You took a second look at the card in your hand, then glanced around the house as you strolled through it, trying to embed what Taehyung said into the crevices of your resistant thinking.
Everything I have is yours, you reiterated, registering that Taehyung had in fact grown accustomed to the idea of you two as a couple already. He’s accepted it, embraced it, even enforced it now with his earlier declarations and this black card. You automatically felt behind, like you were the tortoise in the race and needed to pick up your pace.
If Taehyung had already come to terms with your marriage, it was only a matter of time before you did as well. Marriage is a two-way street, and if you wanted to make this easier on both yourself and Taehyung, you would compromise with him, accept the true sense of partnership that entailed your status as husband and wife.
Thus was the exact mantra that played in your head as you fiddled with the card, remembering the way his big hands held you.
Warm.
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It was night. 
You could say it was like any other ordinary night, though that would be a gargantuan lie. 
This night was the first time Taehyung and yourself were going to sleep in the same bed.
In your own home. 
The hotel suite left you both with your own space and privacy since it was a random, public room with no personality or attachment to it whatsoever, making it easier and comfortable to sleep with him.
So when you emerged from your walk-in closet in a thin camisole, loose pajama shorts and without a bra, you were cursing yourself. God damn you for needing to sleep in minimal clothing for comfort. You’d slept in a loose t-shirt and bottoms at the suite last night since it was a public room, and long story short, it left you tossing and turning more than you liked. 
You had no clue prior to arriving here that you’d be sharing a room with Taehyung. You’d expected to sleep in a different one, in the privacy of your own room where you could prance around as you wished and as a result packed your usual sleepwear. 
But now that you were left having to slumber with Taehyung, clothes on the more revealing side, there was no turning back. 
And what there was truly no turning back from, was when you opened the closet door and your eyes landed on Taehyung’s shirtless, wet self drying his hair after a shower. 
You immediately malfunctioned.
Your eyes fell to his bare back, ruffling his wet hair as his plaid pajama pants hung loosely at his hips. You immediately exclaimed and clamped a hand over your mouth, trying to shut yourself up. 
You did not expect at all for Taehyung to have such honey-coloured skin. It was like it naturally glowed, a healthy tone that made him appear all the more delectable. It certainly didn’t help that his shoulders were broader than you first observed, sincerely an other-worldly experience when he wasn’t wearing clothes. 
You also got an all-access view of his trap muscles, adding to the width of his shoulders overall and when Taehyung turned around to the sound of the closet door opening, gaze locking with yours, you could confirm his neck, chest and collarbones were indeed crafted to perfection.
Taehyung’s eyes widened momentarily drinking you in, not expecting your light sleepwear when just last night he witnessed you in a full pajama set. Not to mention, and he hated that he could tell, but you weren't wearing a bra. 
And the camisole did nothing to hide that. 
Taehyung straightened himself up realizing you two were practically gawking at each other, resting the towel around his neck as he cleared his throat. “That’s what you sleep in?” 
“That’s what you sleep in?” You retorted, arms over your chest. 
“Guys usually sleep shirtless, this is normal.” Taehyung gestured towards his own body and you had half a mind to floor yourself. It’s like Taehyung knew but also didn’t know he was hot, knew the effect he had on people though never grew cocky or proud enough to purposefully parade it around. 
And it frustrated you even more; he was fairly humble about being a sexy Greek God. 
“Girls sleep like this too, this is normal.” You copied him, looking off to the side. 
“I was kidding, I only sleep shirtless sometimes. Just get in bed.” Taehyung narrowed his eyes as he gestured towards the sheets, returning to his palace of a bathroom to toss his towel in the hamper and pull a t-shirt over his head. 
You wanted to move, feet just about ready to carry you but you never abandoned your spot. Instead, you pressed your lips into a thin line contemplating that sharing a bed with Taehyung, in clothes like this and in such proximity, all held a degree of intimacy you didn’t know you two shared yet. 
It’s only been a day. 
So when Taehyung returned to your unmoving figure, arms holding your chest and avoiding eye contact with him, he was quick to get the message. 
“Um.. if you really don’t want to sleep here, I can give you another room.” Taehyung offered, figuring himself this may be too soon. 
“No, it’s okay, that’d be kind of a hassle.” You waved him off. “Besides, your bed looks comfy.”
You were honestly trying to live up to your acceptance that Taehyung was the man you’d spend your life with now, so you’d better start getting use to him. You’d sleep next to him for numerous nights, spend endless days together and share a multitude of things; this would simply just be a first of many first times. 
So you paddled over to the bed and removed the covers to snuggle yourself in, the bed’s coolness sending a shiver through you before you hugged the blanket to yourself. Taehyung stood with a smile before crawling in himself, adjusting the covers to his liking. 
He felt at peace in a matter of seconds, the feeling of his own bed lulling him into a state of slumber already. He reached his arm out to shut off the lamp on his bedside table, leaving the room pitch dark and only his digital clock and balcony as a light source. 
You began to cower a bit in the darkness, thankful for the sheer curtains that allowed the moonlight to spill into the room. 
You felt another shiver run through your body when you shifted, realizing you were cold even under the sheets. You tried warming up on your own by shimmying the blanket around more comfortably, but it didn't do much. 
You were left lying on the bed trying to think warm thoughts, unintentionally breathing in the constant scent of Taehyung from his bed; his cologne, his aftershave, his body wash all filling your nostrils.
It was intoxicating, absolutely distracting and sleep began to slip your mind. It didn’t help that you were still cold too, moving around and turning onto your side where you now faced Taehyung. 
He seemed to have already dozed off, face tranquil as he slept soundlessly on his back. You couldn't help but admire his side-profile, the sparse moonlight illuminating his features. It was hard to not stretch your hand out and nearly run a touch along his cheek, like he was a rare work of art that naturally called for admiration.
You realized turning towards him that he radiated a wave of warmth from his body, remembering boys were pretty much furnaces while girls usually froze.
How wonderful it is to be a woman. 
You desired some of that heat and shuffled just a little closer to Taehyung, nearing the center of the bed. You discerned he was indeed warm and maneuvered slightly closer, just about stopping at the center of the bed. You fought back the urge to shimmy any closer, leaving a mindful gap between you two. 
You were seconds from catching a peace of mind until Taehyung unexpectedly spoke in the silence of the night, startling you. 
“You can come closer, I don’t bite.” The smirk in his voice was obvious, making you scrunch your nose and snap back at him. 
“Shut up, I’m not getting closer to you.” 
“You should, I’m really warm, and I can tell you’re cold.” There he was again teasing, his tone coy as he kept his eyes shut, unbothered. 
“Over my dead body.” You mocked him from earlier, turning away from him abruptly and pulling the covers over your head. 
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Coffee was probably your favourite thing life had to offer. One of the couple things you’d fight someone over; coffee and your independence, if you wanted to be specific. 
So it made you genuinely happy Taehyung had such a wide selection of coffee to choose from, ranging from all kinds of beans to instant coffee, cappuccinos, lattes, mochas, you name it. It took no time for you to craft a cup to your liking, shuffle into a seat on the island and begin picking at the breakfast the housekeepers had whipped up earlier this morning. 
You’d woken up early today keeping in mind the day you had planned. You decided this to be another move-in day as part of your studio setup project you’ve entertained for the last week. The granted time off due to your odd honeymoon farce with Taehyung proved to actually come in handy, thankfully. 
It had been another peaceful morning for you, having woken up with sunlight gracing the walls, certain you could hear birds chirping as if you were in a Disney film and little mice would come out to start sewing the gown you’d wear as a princess. 
It had been a peaceful morning indeed, but when you stretched out to loosen your stiff muscles, the chaos that met you was anything but peaceful. Even if it’s occurred at least 5 times now, you kept forgetting that you shared a bed with someone else now, and that said someone had somehow always founds a way to gravitate towards you during the night, even daringly cast an arm over you sometimes. 
It left you in a state of panic registering that Taehyung’s, dare you say warm and cozy body would be just behind you, his chest mere centimeters from your back. You would stay still for some time, calculating the optimal way to remove yourself from his hold until he eventually stirred enough to loosen his grip, darting right out of bed. 
Other times, he’d wake earlier than you and you wondered what would cross his mind once he registered your oddly proximal bodies. 
Did it ever bother him?
Nonetheless, it brought a mischievous smile to your face thinking about the fact that Taehyung had such a perfectly human habit like cuddling. He was always so serious, so put together and a near machine at everything he did, seeming as though he wouldn’t give anything romantic the time of day. 
But it was hard to forget the fluffy feeling that blossomed in your chest when you would sense his proximity, maybe inviting a liking to it. You had always slept alone, only yourself and the darkness to keep you company in your lonely bed, in your lonely home. 
So sleeping next to someone, namely Kim Taehyung left an impression on you you couldn’t quite shake. It was difficult to erase the image of his calm, sleeping face after the handful of times witnessing it. Long eyelashes delicately pressed to the skin under his eyes, lips plush as he seemed to naturally pout in his sleep. The sunlight only accentuated his honey-coloured skin, adding a glow to his features that made him appear prettier than he already was. 
It was nice to think you’d wake up to that every morning. 
You found your mind still playing around with the idea until you snapped yourself out of it, questioning why the hell you always ventured off whenever you thought about him. 
Weird. 
You were scolding yourself until your eyes caught Taehyung strolling into the kitchen with his phone in is hand. He’d foregone a jacket today, black shirt sleeves folded to mid-forearm paired with black slacks.  
You were normal until you almost spat your coffee seeing he wasn’t wearing a tie but instead had the first few buttons of his shirt open, revealing a generous view of his neck and the beginnings of his chest. 
Fucking hell.
You were staring stupidly until Taehyung peeked up at you, smiling “Morning.” 
“M-morning.” you stuttered.
He seemed unsuspecting as he returned his attention to his phone, proceeding to the kitchen counter and retrieving a cup to fix himself a drink. He appeared to be reading something conscientiously on his device, never taking his eyes off and you quickly became bored, ready to use the weapon you’d acquired. 
“So.. you’re a cuddler, huh?”
Taehyung nearly dropped his cup.  
“I’m sorry, what?” 
“You’re a cuddler when you sleep. Cute.” You rested your chin in your palm, playful smile on your face. 
“I think you’re mistaken, I am not a cuddler. And I’m not cute.” Taehyung denied as he only focused on the cup, his back to you. You then watched him reach for his selection of tea and purposefully evade the coffee, your eyes lighting up with mischief.  
“Wait, you’re a cuddler and you drink tea instead of coffee? Very cute.” You pulled on his leg, chuckling as you brought your mug to your lips
This was going to be fun.
“Shut up, I don’t like the taste and tea is healthier.” Taehyung practically sneered back, harshly ripping the packet of his tea bag.
“Doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a cuddler.” You sipped on your coffee, unbothered as you swung your legs back and fourth. 
“Doesn’t take away from the fact that you like it.” 
You nearly spat your drink. 
“What?” 
“I remember a certain someone that shuffles closer to me for warmth, no?” Taehyung snapped back as he returned to his phone and popped his tea into the microwave, his shoulders high to the sky. You could imagine his smug face proud of his remark while searching for your own, realizing that Taehyung was damn good at arguing and you’d really have to upgrade your comeback game to counter him. 
He was unfortunately your match.
“Even if I were one, which I’m not, It’s not like I’m committing a crime.” Taehyung suddenly finalized with a snippy tone, and you realized you may have hurt his ego. 
Men. 
“I never said it was a bad thing.” You commented under your breath and looked away, popping a raspberry into your mouth. 
Taehyung bit back a smirk as he retrieved his cup of tea, taking a sip as he returned to his phone and took a seat across from you. He began compiling his plate of breakfast as he worked his device, typing away with one hand as if he was drafting the Magna Carta. 
You became bored again.
“Why do you have so much coffee if you don’t like it?” You genuinely felt like inquiring, if he didn’t like the taste why would he have so much? 
“For my housekeepers, they drink it.” He took a sip of his tea, all attention on his phone. 
You nodded understandingly. “Why do you have two housekeepers, by the way? Isn’t one enough?” 
“So they can keep each other company.” He answered absentmindedly, eyes still glued to his phone as he bit a piece of his toast. You really hated that he wasn’t actively interacting with you because it only left room to stare at him, and that was never any good.  
He looked illegally attractive with the unbuttoned part of his shirt, your mind profusely bugging out over the exposed bit of his chest. You were reminded of the full view from last night, and began pondering how long you’d survive having to see that for the rest of your life. 
“O-oh, that’s nice.” You stuttered back a reply, squashing your previous thought.
You were actually quite impressed by the kindness Taehyung showed behind that decision, noticing he had these small moments where he was caring, considerate, all hidden behind his unreadable face and seriousness when it came to business. 
It was quite interesting. 
You were mindlessly eating until Taehyung spoke up, eyes flickering towards you. “What are you going to do today?” 
You swallowed your fruit. “I was planning on moving more stuff in again, start finishing my studio setup. Thank you again for the room, by the way.” You expressed your gratitude once more, forking some eggs into your mouth. 
“Don’t mention it.” 
“What are you doing today?” you echoed his question, taking another swig of coffee.
“I’m working again. If you need anything I’ll be in my study.” Taehyung sent you a half-smile before snatching up his plate, bringing his phone to his ear as he stepped out of the kitchen. 
You sighed heavily only being left to think about your day, which would be majorly spent unpacking and arranging things. You had a plethora of art supplies, design tools and canvases to set up in your studio, leaving you constantly thinking of how to even begin. 
It would be a mission alone to sort through everything you had left, knowing you didn’t exactly label out of sheer laziness and would have to individually unbox and organize everything . 
It was this exact task that took up most of your day, time having slipped by in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t easy when you had to be rummaging through your belongings and situating them where you thought appropriate, also trying to envision a new look for your studio. 
You hadn’t realized 3 hours had passed until the ring of the front doorbell caused you to check your phone, curious as to who would be visiting your home in the middle of the day. You assumed it be one of the housekeepers and abandoned your work, cascading down the staircase and striding towards the grand entrance. 
You drew towards the monitor Taehyung had showed you just yesterday, explaining it to be your home security system. Taehyung detailed it had a camera for your front porch that detected movement and the doorbell alike, so you peered at the monitor to see the stranger outside your home. 
Your eyebrows furrowed registering a woman, her back turned towards the door as she fidgeted nervously with her purse in her hand. 
Sheer curiosity took you over and you paddled towards the door, unlocking it. You wore a smile on your face as you swung the door open, though it was immediately wiped off taking in the last person on earth you ever wanted to see. 
“Mother?”
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tags : @thedarkwinterrose @ayujaded @couldbeyourlast @ladyarmanto @anpanman-sonyeondan @apollukee @blueevelvt @taesluttt @scalubera​ @laurynne5​ @dreamsindreamss​ @thequeen-kat​ @awsome-small-k​ @wrecklesssly​ @kweenhu​ @jalexad​ @staerify​ @bangforever​ @dyriddle​ @aianloveseven​ @waves-and-woods​ @hoefortaeshands​ @veronawrites​ @nightapple4jk​ @wataemelonz​ @aomi-nabi​
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Lessons to Build - ii: you can’t outrun what is in you
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Summary: Two years ago, you break off your 5-year long engagement with Min Yoongi of the Min family and ran off to New York. However, for people like you, running away has never been a lasting solution.
Pairing: Yoongi x Reader / Taehyung x reader
Warnings: None for this chapter. Y/N comes home, we meet Yoongi but not MEET-MEET. Might make you root for Taehyung. Notes: Short chapters for quicker updates is my jam. This took a while because i wasn’t sure how I wanted to present Yoongi yet. But here it is. He may be “kind” but there are other things at play that affected (and will affect) his decisions. Same with Y/N. Also Tumblr won’t let me tag some users. :(( I hope you guys find this update! And thank you for the people finding this fic!  Word Count: 1.6k Prologue  Lesson I 
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Home.
Home shouldn’t be something you have to run away from. And yet, the moment you booked your flight, fingers tapping away on your phone - your passport details, credit card, seat number - an undeniable weight has began to made its home on your shoulders. As encompassing as a blanket but as imprisoning as heavy sand.
“What do you mean you’re flying to Seoul? Now??”
Isn’t it funny how things change in less than 24 hours? In a blink of an eye?
Taehyung’s voice is shrill in the background as you toss clothes upon clothes over your shoulder, hopping they’d get at least near the perimeter of your open suitcase.
Around you is your life in disarray. At the back of your mind, you find it slightly disturbing how easily it could fit in several boxes. No roots.
“Yes—“
“Why?”
You pause from grabbing your toiletries. There are things to do here in LA - there’s the campaign, the meetings with investors, your contracts, your would-be dog - your life.
Your mother told you that your father doesn’t want you to make the flight. That he’s fine, and it’s just exhaustion but the waver in your mother’s voice had your heart dropping straight to your stomach. And so despite her half-hearted protests, you’ve turned over your works over email and sent the rest for your assistants to manage.
Seoul may as well be just another place in the map. No, you’re not coming for Seoul, you’re coming for family.
You grab your phone off your bed side table and press it against your ear. “My dad had a heart attack.”
On the other line, you can feel Taehyung consider his words. “I’m coming with you.”
Your hands pause from folding your clothes and you look at your phone and as if seeing your questioning gaze, Taehyung plows on. “Yeontan and I are coming with you.” “Why?”
There are two ways for Taehyung to answer. One easy way is to tell you the truth. That he knows you need a friend, a tether to your life here, someone who will solidify what you’ve built. Someone, something tangible, someone to prove to you that your life here is as real as the life you left.
Going back always runs the risk of regressing, falling back to old patterns, he learned.
After all, he knows the feeling of being forced back to square one.
Or, he could tell you this, “My brother’s been bugging me to visit. And I hate flying alone.”
You don’t mention that he’s flown across the globe more than you could count - even flew to France once because he wanted authentic mille-feuilles - and just nod. “Okay, I’ll send you the flight details.”
“Okay, Lady, I’ll be there.”
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The collapse of the CEO of the biggest chain of hotels and one of the upcoming land developers in an annual gala event can never be kept a secret.
You’ve seen it happen only once before, to Mr. Min. As a young girl, you remember how the media feasted around him like flies, and how shareholders of his company stalked around like wolves under sheep’s clothing.
It was as if everyone was waiting with a baited breath for the old man to die. A final shift of power from the old ways to the new. It was sensational, romanticized by the public - not sparing a thought or two to the families except when they needed something.
That was years ago, and it’s an unfortunate fact that hasn’t changed a bit.
“Well, can’t say I didn’t expect this - at least we look good.” Taehyung mutters, decidedly ignoring the occasional flash of camera in his periphery. They were still trying to be subtle, maybe not sure of the “scoop”? Scared of your supposed hidden bodyguards? Who knows?
“You always look good, Tae.” You whisper lightheartedly, forcing calmness in your words.
Around you, people continue to buzz around, grabbing their suitcases from the conveyor, talking on the phone, glancing at their watches. But they too have noticed, and glances towards your way multiply as the minutes pass by.
Taehyung hums in agreement, looking as if he hadn’t just flown across the world. “Yes, it requires effort, but don’t go telling them that.”
A loud shutter sound draws you away from your conversation and you boldly meet the lenses of a masked photographer eye-to-eye. Every bit of the Oh heiress they’ve built up in their mind.
Last time you checked, you were the high society’s prodigal princess. Ran away from home, off to play Cinderella in the United States. Keeping busy with shallow causes, burning through your daddy’s money.
You wonder how they come up with their headlines. You’ve long since given up in appealing towards their journalist’s ethics, but with how creative they come up with stories, you’re a bit disappointed with the headline you last read. The least they could do was make it more fun - a hidden lover? Pregnant? A twist, or something.
You scoff. Although you may have been away for two years, you still are your parents’ daughter. This is child’s play.
Dressed in a black luxury pantsuit, heels lifting you up from the ground and make-up on point, you provide no weak points. Eyes half-lidded you stare straight to the cameras who’ve come out of their hiding, propriety be damned and all.
Oh Y/N is back.
(And if it feels like shrugging on a second skin, you pay it no mind)
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“Tae… Tae… Tae!”
Taehyung jostles awake beside you, the hand you were shaking him with falls on your lap. “Wha— What?”
Yeontan’s yip echoes his owner’s confusion. The sound sounding as exhausted as he probably is. Flying has and will probably always be stressful for pets, but Taehyung refused to have someone dog sit Yeontan for this trip saying that he needs to meet his cousins, RJ or something.
Your eyes soften at your friend’s sleepy eyes. Outside the sky is bright, but you too can feel the time difference and jet lag creeping up.
“Sleep this off at the hotel, Tae. I’ll have the driver drop you off.” You’re already reaching out to press the button for the partition when Taehyung shakes his head.
“‘M not sleepy.”
“You’re dead on your feet, Tae.” Fondness laced in your words, you watch Taehyung straighten in his seat beside you and card his fingers through his hair, making the mess look like a ~coordinated~ one.
“I’m not letting you go there alone.”
“I’m going to the hospital, Tae, not war.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes. Taehyung spies the way you tuck your hands around yourself, almost curling inwards, almost shaking.
No.
“Could’ve fooled me, you’re dressed to kill.”
You look over expecting a teasing grin on his face but you falter, frozen, at the sight of his eyes. Dark chocolate eyes pin you to your spot, and heat blooms on your cheeks. Suddenly, you feel like your suit is too tight and even in its dark shade - too sheer.
Almost two years of friendship has not rendered you immune to Kim Taehyung.
Like the passing scenery, the moment is gone as quick as it came. Taehyung smiles and lifts Yeontan to his shoulder.
“He’s going to be there, isn’t he?”
There’s no question as to who he’s referring to. “He might be, my mom said he almost hasn’t left my dad’s side.”
Taehyung scoffs, “Like a vulture.”
You want to defend Yoongi but despite leaving the country because of him, you did keep updated. Partly because it’s ingrained to you to stay on top of news relating to your family business and its periphery but also… well, you don’t know what you hoped for.
In the span of less than two years, Min Yoongi dragged their struggling company and made it great again. Competitors lost out, assets were seized left and right, absorbed, repurposed in the gaping maw of a resurging giant.
He’s ruthless.
But you can be too.
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Oh Jiyoung is not a young man anymore.
He doesn’t think he’s been young since his mother abandoned him and his father when he was ten. He wasn’t young when he left school at fifteen, or when he went back when he was eighteen.
He wasn’t young when he bussed tables, or worked in shucking oysters Yeosodo with swollen scarred hands. He wasn’t even young when he first met his wife, fell in love and learned what it was like to be loved back.
So, no, he isn’t surprised when he had a heart attack. A little off-put, and a bit terrified but not surprised. He’s lived more decades than he actually expected to already.
Looking down at his hands, he thinks that if he’d kicked the bucket right then and there the only true regret he’ll have is one that involves the young man across him.
Oh Jiyoung is old, but he hasn’t forgotten the mannerisms of a young man. His wife still makes him feel like one after all this years. So of course, he’s noticed the young man across him fiddle with his rings, his feet tapping to a rhythm only he knows.
“Don’t tell me you’re nervous.”
Yoongi looks up from his seat to the teasing face of his would’ve been father-in-law. His thumb pauses from rubbing against the ring in his forefinger, he doesn’t answer. He feels the stare of your father bore down on him and he almost shifts like a boy caught in a lie.
Your flight has landed just less than two hours ago, he doubts you’ll give yourself time to rest first before heading to the hospital. Which means, any time now, those doors will open and you’ll be here.
How odd.
As if summoned, the doors open and —
— there you are.
Yoongi’s eyes don’t stay on you too long, not with a tall man hovering behind you, dark eyes trained on him. Your ease at this man’s close proximity sets fire at the back of his neck, and even if he wanted to say hello, this, instead comes out.
“The rumors are true then, huh?” 
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Tag List: @moonlitmyg @shadowstark @kookiebunnii @loveyoongles @swegstuffsuckers @anpanman-sonyeondan @veronawrites @ariadne-06 @springjade @neverthefirstchoice @creatorspalace​ End Notes: Hearts are appreciated but comments are gold. Let me know what you think and if you want to be included in a tag list!
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wolf-and-bard · 3 years
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Resigned To Fate
Prompt: Memory Alteration / Gaslighting
Relationships: Guxart/Vesemir (from one of the witcher-centric cards), Lambert/Aiden (background)
Rating: M
Content Warnings: heavy angst, suicidal tendencies, grief, mild gore, self-harm allusions
Summary: In the aftermath of the betrayal of the Cat school, Vesemir has not only his own school to hold together, but also a traumatised lover to care for. In which: Vesemir is strong and Guxart is weak and they find it hard to meet in the middle.
Word Count: ~2k
@witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo​
I.
Witchers survive.
Witchers endure.
Witchers outlast.
No matter the tragedy that befalls them or how difficult the contract. When they're being persecuted and beaten, starved and denied basic human decency. There's always a way forward.
Survive. Endure. Outlast.
Those are the thoughts Vesemir clings to, each sentiment falling as a whisper from his cracked and splintered lips to puddle at his blood- and gut-soaked feet, each word accompanied by the low wheeze of his shovel penetrating dry earth.
He couldn't fight for them, has to bury them. All of them.
He doesn't cry like the pups do, they haven't yet understood.
This is no genocide. This is merely a manifestation of what has been a long time coming, a natural course of history.
Vesemir cradles that truth tight to his chest. He survives, endures, outlasts. It's his birthright, duty, privilege, honour, burden, curse, cure, calling, punishment. It's a law of nature, the first one the new recruits learn when coming to the keep.
Nothing breaks Vesemir.
II.
When the wolves all sleep, the living in bed rolls pushed together in the great hall, the dead in their forever resting places of hard-packed dirt, the new day is already sloshing over the horizon in waves of muted scarlet. Vesemir finds no beauty in that, he doesn't think he will find any beauty in and around Kaer Morhen ever again. All that was tranquil about this place has been soaked in blood and so, it seems, has the sky. He fills a pack with their sorry dinner's leftovers - stale bread, hard cheese, dried berries - foregoes the soup and the spirits. Two deerskins of water and a faded quilt blanket. It smells like cinnamon and honey, like comfort he hopes. It's not cold enough to warrant any kind of coat yet, but halfway across the courtyard, Vesemir finds himself shivering. He unpacks the blanket and wraps it around his own shoulders, then briskly walks out of the keep's enclosures, the sun a cool caress on his stained cheeks. He's never hated her more than in that moment.
III.
She follows him even into the dingy half-dark of the outpost's only bedroom. The curtains are drawn, the room lit by a single artificial torch, but Vesemir finds another echo of the red horizon in Guxart's eyes as they meet his across the few paces that separate them. Seeing him is somehow still a bit of a surprise.
Guxart doesn't look haggard and wrung-out the way Vesemir knows he himself does. In the wake of their shared misery - the imprisonment, the wait, the release to find their schools in ruin and their charges mostly dead or mutilated - Vesemir aged a century while Guxart is frozen in time, barely more than a shell of the witcher Vesemir begrudgingly fell in love with.
His salt-and-pepper hair falls in curls just below his ears and his greyed beard looks freshly groomed, obscuring the permanent tremble of his lips, pressed together to contain the creature of mourning that grows in his chest. His slitted pupils are constantly thin so that they nearly drown in the red hue of his irises. There are but two things about Guxart that have changed in their trudge through agony - in physicality that is. He is pale now - almost as pale as Vesemir, who always used to look like a wraith next to Guxart's light-brown skin - and his voice has lost all its natural thunder. A husk, yes. But not irrevocably so.
Guxart may be broken, but Vesemir is barely more than cracked and he can hold it together for the two of them.
"Ves," Guxart croaks from his perch on the bed and Vesemir doesn't pretend like this is a happy meeting. He draws the door shut behind himself and opens the curtains with a precise blast of Aard. The light that filters in is grimy still and Guxart turns his back on it. It's the only thing he can do. In an act of protection, born from love, Vesemir had to shackle Guxart's wrists and ankles, just so the other witcher wouldn't hurt himself. Last time, Vesemir was nearly too late and that is not something he will stand to experience again. It's a precarious arrangement, temporary, but Vesemir didn't know how else to help either Guxart of himself. Bringing him to the keep would have been certain death for them both.
"I brought food."
"I'm not hungry."
Vesemir puts the pack down by the window and slips out of his boots, then crawls up on the bed and drapes the quilt over both their legs. The sight of it puts his gut in a twist.
This is where he used to let go. Relax his shoulders and drop the teacher, the torturer. Just be. Guxart gave that to him and he to Guxart. Had he any imagination, he would let his head fall to the brick behind himself and close his eyes, imagine it's just another morning after a night spent tangled up in each other, relishing dawn's kiss and each other's presence.
Vesemir is exceptionally bad at self-delusion.
"Will you have water?" he asks. Guxart shakes his head, remaining in his strained position, even when Vesemir jerks his chin to the side in an invitation to sidle up to him.
Guxart, for his part, is exceptionally bad at accepting love and pain at the same time.
"I'm not thirsty."
"Fine," Vesemir replies and they look at each other. It's not a staring contest like they sometimes held across the training fields when their students were locked in combat. It's searching for some remnant of joy and coming up short.
"There's dirt under your nails," Guxart murmurs without breaking the eye contact. "You buried them."
"I did."
"Mine also?"
"They took them back to the Camp."
Vesemir can still hear the hisses of cats, wolves, and swords alike as the witchers collected the bodies of their fallen comrades to separate and honour them. Vesemir suspects that what he feels for Guxart will be the last love ever lost between the two schools.
"It's all my fault."
"Come here," Vesemir says, keeping his tone levelled, understanding. He opens his arms a fraction, a more blatant invitation.
Finally, Guxart slumps against Vesemir, a heaving dead weight. Vesemir brings his arms around Guxart and presses his face into his curls. He finds little comfort there and lots of reminders to all that he lost at the hands of Treyse and Radowit's damned mage. Guxart presses into Vesemir with all the strength his restrained body can muster. They don't fit together quite so well anymore.
"They gave me a choice," Guxart says. "They gave me a choice."
"What choice?" Vesemir asks, mouth dry. He blinks rapidly as he rubs soothing circles over Guxart's sharp shoulder blades. In a moment here, he will have to think about how to feed the other witcher against his will, a painstaking process. Why keep at it?
Because he has to.
Nothing breaks Vesemir.
"They took me away one night," Guxart continues. "When you were asleep. They took me away and told me how I was to arrange it. Their death sentence. And they gave me a choice."
"What. Choice."
"They said they would spare them. All of them, all of our beautiful pups and kittens. They said if I throttled you, they wouldn't make me act out the treaty. It's why we were put in the same cell after that first week."
No such thing happened.
Vesemir knows.
He feared for their schools during their time in Radowit's dungeons, but his mind was sharp always, awake and waiting. Even then, he knew of Guxart's tendencies to slip from reality into madness fashioned by others. A consequence of the meddled-with cat mutagens perhaps, or a personal disposition. Doesn't matter. What does is that Vesemir was awake in the cell opposite - never sharing, never touching - watching his lover pass from one fever dream into the next as they kept him drugged, whispering to him, sentiments Vesemir himself managed to deflect when the guards - or his own mind - threw them at him.
This is your fault.
You brought this upon them, mutant scum.
They will die for your sins.
Nothing. Breaks. Vesemir.
"A lie," Vesemir sighs and presses his lips to Guxart's scalp. The other witcher shudders and the worst part about this is that he knows they will have this conversation again. And again. And each time, Guxart will believe a little less.
"They were our children, Ves. They were our children and I betrayed them. Traded their life for yours. If you had been given the same choice, would you have been strong enough?"
They both know the answer to that. If it had been between Guxart and his wolves, Vesemir wouldn't have hesitated to kill his lover. But that is entirely beside the point.
"There was never such a choice and what happened is not your fault."
"But it is. My fault. I spared you. And then I went on to kill them all. Treyse, he tried to stop me once we got out, but I gave the command anyway. We could have stood together, could have flattened all Kaedwen to dust, but I was greedy. I wanted you and the reward. I wanted... I wanted..."
Nothing ever. Breaks...
"You're talking nonsense. We were only released after the massacre took place, remember? Treyse was the one to commit treason, he gave that command."
"I have to die," Guxart says numbly. He doesn't listen now and his bound hands paw at Vesemir's thighs. "I have to die. You have to kill me."
"No."
"Please, I cannot live with this pain. Knowing it was all my fault, I cannot... how can you?"
Vesemir closes his eyes. Nothing. Nothing has yet broken him.
IV.
There is no containing Guxart forever. Vesemir knows this, Guxart knows this.
He waits, tends to his lover until such a time that he feels he's coaxed Guxart away from the brink of self-destruction at least. At the end, most of what hangs between them is fatigue and resentment, indistinguishable from the scraps of nostalgic affection they yet harbour. Vesemir does not remember what it felt like to love without care. He has to let go.
"I'm sorry, Ves," Guxart says when it's time to part, a whisper over Vesemir's lips in what will likely be their last ever kiss. "I know you mean well, but I cannot believe you. I have to repent."
There is no penance for a crime uncommitted. The only forgiveness you should want for is mine once you leave me here to grief on my own. You will wander and you will weaken and you will wither. Nothing will break me like you will, the moment you fade from sight.
Vesemir bites down on these thoughts. They're silly, selfish, and he is neither.
"Take care of yourself."
Guxart nods and turns and walks away.
And Vesemir doesn't break.
V.
Decades pass.
Vesemir fixes up whatever fissures did sneak up on him, he remains whole, he moves on.
Guxart may be out there, he may not. Vesemir will never know what fate Guxart has resigned himself to and that is acceptable.
It is acceptable.
Until the day Lambert comes home, announcing that he has given and lost his heart to a young cat by name of Aiden. He howls through the night and Vesemir holds him, the way he himself needed to be held back then perhaps, and he understands that all the glue he has been applying to his own heart was a sorry fake.
Vesemir has been broken for a long, long time.
And once he accepts that, he feels the years fall off his shoulders like leaves from an old tree, preparing for another winter. Possibly its last.
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ladyofasoiaf · 3 years
Text
Sansa & Beauty - Quotes
RADIANT:
Sansa looked radiant as she walked beside him, but Jon did not like Joffrey's pouty lips or the bored, disdainful way he looked at Winterfell's Great Hall.
A Game of Thrones - Jon I
*-*
COMELY: 
"Saffron is very beautiful, I'll have you know. Tall and slim, with big brown eyes and hair like honey."Alayne raised her head. "More beautiful than me?"
Ser Harrold studied her face. "You are comely enough, I grant you. When Lady Anya first told me of this match, I was afraid that you might look like your father."
The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
*-*
EXQUISITE:
"You do look quite exquisite, child," Lady Olenna Tyrell told Sansa when she tottered up to them in a cloth-of-gold gown that must have weighed more than she did. "The wind has been at your hair, though."
A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII
*-*
FAIR:
I must ask after Sansa. How else will I find her? She cleared her throat. "Goodwife," she said to the woman on the turnip cart, "perhaps you saw my sister on the road? A young maid, three-and-ten and fair of face, with blue eyes and auburn hair. She may be riding with a drunken knight."
A Feast for Crows - Brienne II
*-*
BEAUTY:
The girl was too young and too plain to be Sansa Stark, but she was of the right age to be the younger sister, and even Lady Catelyn had said that Arya lacked her sister's beauty.
A Feast for Crows - Brienne VII
*-*
Lord Littlefinger kissed her cheek. "With my wits and Cat's beauty, the world will be yours, sweetling. Now off to bed."
A Feast for Crows - Sansa I
*-*
"Had we known such beauty awaited us at the Gates, we would have flown," Ser Roland said. Though his words were addressed to Myranda Royce, he smiled at Alayne as he said them.
The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
*-*
LOVELY:
Sansa Stark looked especially lovely this morning, though her face was as pale as milk.
A Clash of Kings - Tyrion VI
*-*
Sansa closed the shutters and turned sharply away from the window. "You look very lovely today, my lady," Ser Arys said.
A Clash of Kings - Sansa I
*-*
"Leave the colors to me, my lady. You will be pleased, I know you will. You shall have smallclothes and hose as well, kirtles and mantles and cloaks, and all else befitting a . . . a lovely young lady of noble birth."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa II
*-*
When the moonstones hung from Sansa's ears and about her neck, the queen nodded. "Yes. The gods have been kind to you, Sansa. You are a lovely girl. It seems almost obscene to squander such sweet innocence on that gargoyle."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa III
*-*
"My lady," Tyrion said, "you are lovely, make no mistake, but . . . I cannot do this. My father be damned. We will wait. The turn of a moon, a year, a season, however long it takes. Until you have come to know me better, and perhaps to trust me a little." His smile might have been meant to be reassuring, but without a nose it only made him look more grotesque and sinister.
A Storm of Swords - Sansa III
*-*
Her maids were dressing her when Tyrion appeared, Podrick Payne in tow. "You look lovely, Sansa." He turned to his squire. "Pod, be so good as to pour me a cup of wine."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV
*-*
And false. Sansa, Shae, all my women … Tysha was the only one who ever loved me. Where do whores go? "A lovely girl," said Tyrion, "and we were joined beneath the eyes of gods and men. It may be that she is lost to me, but until I know that for a certainty I must be true to her."
A Dance with Dragons - Tyrion IX
*-*
"The Lord Protector's daughter," the bald knight announced, all hearty gallantry. He rose ponderously. "And full as lovely as the tales told of her, I see."
The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
*-*
PRETTY:
She frowned down at them with dismay and glanced over to where her sister Sansa sat among the other girls. Sansa's needlework was exquisite. Everyone said so. "Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands."
A Game of Thrones - Arya I
*-*
"He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."
Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment.
A Game of Thrones - Arya I
*-*
"Lady," he said, tasting the name. He had never paid much attention to the names the children had picked, but looking at her now, he knew that Sansa had chosen well. She was the smallest of the litter, the prettiest, the most gentle and trusting. She looked at him with bright golden eyes, and he ruffled her thick grey fur.
A Game of Thrones - Eddard III
*-*
A pity Ned Stark had taken his daughters south; elsewise Theon could have tightened his grip on Winterfell by marrying one of them. Sansa was a pretty little thing too, and by now likely even ripe for bedding. But she was a thousand leagues away, in the clutches of the Lannisters. A shame.
A Clash of Kings - Theon IV
*-*
"I will sing it for you gladly."
Sandor Clegane snorted. "Pretty thing, and such a bad liar. A dog can smell a lie, you know. Look around you, and take a good whiff. They're all liars here . . . and every one better than you."
A Clash of Kings - Sansa II
*-*
I have to look pretty, Joff likes me to look pretty, he's always liked me in this gown, this color.
A Clash of Kings - Sansa III
*-*
"Leave her face," Joffrey commanded. "I like her pretty."
A Clash of Kings - Sansa III
*-*
"Didn't you ever have a brother you wanted to kill?" He laughed again. "Or maybe a sister?" He must have seen something in her face then, for he leaned closer. "Sansa. That's it, isn't it? The wolf bitch wants to kill the pretty bird."
A Storm of Swords - Arya IX
*-*
Jaime found himself wondering if Brienne might have passed this way before him. If she thought that Sansa Stark had made for Riverrun . . . Had they encountered other travelers, he might have stopped to ask if any of them had chance to see a pretty maid with auburn hair, or a big ugly one with a face that would curdle milk. But there was no one on the roads but wolves, and their howling held no answers.
A Feast for Crows - Jaime III
*-*
Petyr put a finger under her chin. "That Royce glimpsed this pretty face I do not doubt, but it was one face in a thousand. A man fighting in a tourney has more to concern him than some child in the crowd. And at Winterfell, Sansa was a little girl with auburn hair. My daughter is a maiden tall and fair, and her hair is chestnut. Men see what they expect to see, Alayne."
A Feast for Crows - Alayne I
*-*
Ser Loras had given Sansa Stark a red rose once, but he had never kissed her . . . and no Tyrell would ever kiss Alayne Stone. Pretty as she was, she had been born on the wrong side of the blanket.
A Feast for Crows - Alayne II
*-*
She studied Alayne's face and chest. "You are prettier than me, but my breasts are larger.  
A Feast for Crows - Alayne II
*-*
Sansa was the pretty one. He remembered a time when he had thought that Lord Eddard Stark might marry him to Sansa and claim him for a son, but that had only been a child's fancy.
A Dance with Dragons - Reek I
*-*
Petyr put his arm around her. "So he is, but he is Robert's heir as well. Bringing Harry here was the first step in our plan, but now we need to keep him, and only you can do that. He has a weakness for a pretty face, and whose face is prettier than yours? Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him."
The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
*-*
BEAUTIFUL:
"Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful."
A Game of Thrones - Arya I
*-*
Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys.  
A Game of Thrones - Arya I
*-*
When the white horse stopped in front of her, she thought her heart would burst.To the other maidens he had given white roses, but the one he plucked for her was red. "Sweet lady," he said, "no victory is half so beautiful as you." Sansa took the flower timidly, struck dumb by his gallantry.
A Game of Thrones - Sansa II
*-*
"Sweet Sansa," Queen Cersei said, laying a soft hand on her wrist. "Such a beautiful child. I do hope you know how much Joffrey and I love you."  
A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV
*-*
She was dressed in mourning, as a sign of respect for the dead king, but she had taken special care to make herself beautiful.  
A Game of Thrones - Sansa V
*-*
His smile emboldened her, made her feel beautiful and strong. He does love me, he does.  
A Game of Thrones - Sansa V
*-*
"I will need hot water for my bath, please," she told them, "and perfume, and some powder to hide this bruise." The right side of her face was swollen and beginning to ache, but she knew Joffrey would want her to be beautiful.
A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI
*-*
His brow was damp with sweat. "I saw Sansa at the court, the day Tyrion told me his terms. She looked most beautiful, my lady. Perhaps a, a bit wan. Drawn, as it were."
A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VI
*-*
"Sansa was a lady at three, always so courteous and eager to please. She loved nothing so well as tales of knightly valor. Men would say she had my look, but she will grow into a woman far more beautiful than I ever was, you can see that. I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. She had auburn hair, lighter than mine, and so thick and soft... the red in it would catch the light of the torches and shine like copper..."
A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII
*-*
As they lurched into motion, Tyrion reclined on an elbow while Sansa sat staring at her hands. She is just as comely as the Tyrell girl. Her hair was a rich autumn auburn, her eyes a deep Tully blue. Grief had given her a haunted, vulnerable look; if anything, it had only made her more beautiful. He wanted to reach her, to break through the armor of her courtesy.  
A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII
*-*
Tyrion had never seen her look more lovely, yet she wore sorrow on those long satin sleeves. "Lady Sansa," he told her, "you shall be the most beautiful woman in the hall tonight."
A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII
*-*
"Ser Loras," she finally managed, "you..  you look so lovely."
He gave her a puzzled smile. "My lady is too kind. And beautiful besides. My sister awaits you eagerly."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa I
*-*
"At the Hand's tourney, don't you remember? You rode a white courser, and your armor was a hundred different kinds of flowers. You gave me a rose. A red rose. You threw white roses to the other girls that day." It made her flush to speak of it. "You said no victory was half as beautiful as me."
Ser Loras gave her a modest smile. "I spoke only a simple truth, that any man with eyes could see."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa I
*-*
She wanted to look beautiful for Willas Tyrell. Even if Dontos was right, and it is Winterfell he wants and not me, he still may come to love me for myself.
A Storm of Swords - Sansa II
*-*
"You are very beautiful, my lady," the seamstress said when she was dressed.
"I am, aren't I?" Sansa giggled, and spun, her skirts swirling around her. "Oh, I am." She could not wait for Willas to see her like this. He will love me, he will, he must... he will forget Winterfell when he sees me, I'll see that he does.
A Storm of Swords - Sansa III
*-*
Tyrion wore a doublet of black velvet covered with golden scrollwork, thigh-high boots that added three inches to his height, a chain of rubies and lions' heads. But the gash across his face was raw and red, and his nose was a hideous scab. "You are very beautiful, Sansa," he told her.
A Storm of Swords - Sansa III
*-*
Ser Kevan told her she was beautiful, Jalabhar Xho said something she did not understand in the Summer Tongue, and Lord Redwyne wished her many fat children and long years of joy. And then the dance brought her face-to-face with Joffrey.
A Storm of Swords - Sansa III
*-*
Littlefinger pointed out a cedar chest under the porthole. "You'll find fresh garb within. Dresses, smallclothes, warm stockings, a cloak. Wool and linen only, I fear. Unworthy of a maid so beautiful, but they'll serve to keep you dry and clean until we can find you something finer."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa V
*-*
"Marillion?" she said, uncertain. "You are... kind to think of me, but.. pray forgive me. I am very tired."
"And very beautiful.
All night I have been making songs for you in my head. A lay for your eyes, a ballad for your lips, a duet to your breasts. I will not sing them, though. They were poor things, unworthy of such beauty." He sat on her bed and put his hand on her leg. "Let me sing to you with my body instead."
She caught a whiff of his breath. "You're drunk."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI
*-*
"I wish you could see yourself, my lady. You are so beautiful. You're crusted over with snow like some little bear cub, but your face is flushed and you can scarcely breathe. How long have you been out here? You must be very cold. Let me warm you, Sansa. Take off those gloves, give me your hands."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII
*-*
"But you're not, are you? You are Eddard Stark's daughter, and Cat's. But I think you might be even more beautiful than your mother was, when she was your age."
A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII
*-*
"Do you require guarding?" Marillion said lightly. "I am composing a new song, you should know. A song so sweet and sad it will melt even your frozen heart. 'The Roadside Rose,' I mean to call it. About a baseborn girl so beautiful she bewitched every man who laid eyes upon her."  
A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII
*-*
"Have you no honor?" her aunt said sharply. "Or do you take me for a fool? You do, don't you? You take me for a fool. Yes, I see that now. I am not a fool. You think you can have any man you want because you're young and beautiful. Don't think I haven't seen the looks you give Marillion.
A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII
*-*
"And you must be the Lord Protector's daughter," she added, as the bucket went rattling back up to the Eyrie. "I had heard that you were beautiful. I see that it is true."
A Feast for Crows - Alayne II
*-*
"So you're brave as well as beautiful," Myranda said to her.
A Feast for Crows - Alayne II
*-*
"Dutiful and beautiful," said an elegant young knight whose thick blond mane cascaded down well past his shoulders.
"Aye," said the second knight, a burly fellow with a thick salt-and-pepper beard, a red nose bulbous with broken veins, and gnarled hands as large as hams. "You left out that part, m'lord."
A Feast for Crows - Alayne II
*-*
"I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty. Does Lord Ramsay think I am pretty?"
A Dance with Dragons - The Prince of Winterfell
*-*
"It was sweet," lied Tyrion, "but I am married. She was with me at the feast, you may remember her. Lady Sansa."
"Was she your wife? She … she was very beautiful …"
A Dance with Dragons - Tyrion IX
*-*
Not to be outdone, the pimply knight hopped up and said, "Ser Ossifer speaks truly, you are the most beautiful maid in all the Seven Kingdoms."
The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
*-*
"You will be the most beautiful woman in the hall tonight, as lovely as your lady mother at your age. I cannot seat you on the dais, but you'll have a place of honor above the salt and underneath a wall sconce. The fire will be shining in your hair, so everyone will see how fair of face you are. Keep a good long spoon on hand to beat the squires off, sweetling. You will not want green boys underfoot when the knights come round to beg you for your favor."
The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
*-*
"A beautiful bastard, and the Lord Protector's daughter." Petyr drew her close and kissed her on both cheeks. "The night belongs to you, sweetling, Remember that, always."
The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
*-*
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pink-peony-princess · 3 years
Text
Deliverance| S.M Werewolf AU
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Part One🐺
The woods had always been a place of comfort for me. A place to escape the madness of my life- of serenity. of course I'd heard the stories of vicious wolves who roamed the darkness waiting to prey on the innocent,but I always put it down to stories, gossip, folklore designed to stop kids from venturing too far. That was until the day I was taken.
A rogue pack had taken me as their personal toy, all the anger and frustration they felt was taken out on me. It was a good day if I got a bit of stale bread, and only one beating. On bad days there would be no food and constant, torturous abuse.
I had endured it for 13 year, my small body the reflection of years of malnutrition and hurt, but I'd finally escaped.
I had bid my time, waiting till they made an inevitable error, and it had finally happend. One of the younger wolves had forgotten to check the padlock when they'd had their fun with me and I'd seized the opportunity and run as fast as I could. but I wasn't fast enough. The alarm had been sounded and there were now several wolves hot on my heels and I could run no further I had to accept my fate. He was less than a metre away from me when our of nowhere another wolf - russet in colour intercepted him in mid air, knocking him over with the force of an elephant. I could hear the snarling and snapping of jaws as I finally collapsed and
surrendered, the last thing I remember was a tall young man walking towards me .
When I woke it was to a mass of activity.
I drifted in and out of sleep, hearing people talking.feeling hands on me, there was even something about the alpha wanting to see 'her', and a 'mate' and something else about ' killing the pack that did this'. What that meant I couldn't know in my delirium.
When I managed to finally open my eyes and get past the blindly bright light above me, I was met with the image of a man-pacing back land forth, muttering to himself. And the more immediate threat of someone fiddling with the sheet that lay over me.
Surely with a man this good looking, this close to me it had to be a dream, I tried to convince myself, but someone shattered the dream almost as soon as is materialised.
"Well hello sweetheart, I'm glad to see you're finally awake," the voice came from that of and older woman with long greying hair braided out of her face "My name's Judy, I'm your nurse," she smiled down at me. "Are you in any pain?" She asked.
I took a moment to take everything in, but I was still unable to make sense of it all.
"Where am I?" I asked, trying to sit up, but everything protested as soon as I moved, even muscles I didn't know I had.
"Just stay still for now dear, you don't want to hurt yourself further," the nurse-Judy spoke kindly, helping me to resettle myself.
Something, maybe me speaking seemed to wake the man from his trance like state and he turned to meet my confused gaze.
He was tall, he had to be at least 6 foot, with sliflghtly tanned skin, the most rich brown eyes I'd ever seen, and hair that was neatly cut, except for a few unruly curls at the front of his head which didn't want to co-operate with the hair gel he'd obviously used to style it.
"Oh,oh thank God." the man rushed over to the side of the bed stopping mere inches from my face.
I could feel my heart rate picking up as panic set in, not used to people (let alone males) being this close without hurting me.
I turned to Judy asking desperately with my eyes for help
She must have got the memo because she cleared her throat and spoke.
She seemed somewhat hesitant though "Alpha, I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, I know you must be worried sick as we all are, however would it not be prudent to give the girl some space?"
The man searched my face for a moment, before straightening and stepping backwards.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he muttered guiltily.
"You didn't," I lied before I could think about it.
"My name's Shawn what's yours?" he asked holding his hand out for me to take.
I kept my mouth shut, years of torture telling me to keep quiet. He dropped his extended up so it was back at his side.
"Alrighty then, when you're ready. I won't push you." He spoke, it seemed as though he was trying deliberately to keep his tone, soft, conversational and I appreciated it.
At that moment the doctor walked in. "It's good to see you awake Miss," he spoke echoing Judy's words.
"I'm sorry to say you're quite banged up." Shawn started pacing again at his words.
"
I would have sworn I heard a growl.
"Shawn you have to stay calm," Judy spoke, it sounded almost as if she was trying to comfort him, confusing me further.
Once the doctor left Shawn calmed down, having dragging a chair from outside my room to sit beside my bed.
"I heard something about killing another pack?" I asked weighing my words cafefully. "So are you all wolves too?"
"Yes, honey, but I promise you're safe here," he replied softly, looking over at me. I looked down again, not able to take the human interaction.
"Everytime I look at you, you look down. Why is that?"he asked, sounding sad.
" I didn't mean to upset you," I panicked.Starting to pick at the I.V in my arm, it was something I always did when I was nervous, picking things, my skin, nails whatever seemed to help.
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not mad," he cut me off. "I just mean I've noticed it is all," he lay a hand carefully on my arm and surprisingly the contact helped.
"I don't know," I pondered, distracted by his touch. There was a weird, warm feeling flowing from the point of contact straight up to my chest, not dissimilar to when your hands or feet go numb and then start to respond again. It wasn't unpleasant, just strange. "I guess, I'm not used to positive human contact," I admitted, looking up to see him shaking his head.
"Are you the Alpha?" I asked suddenly. He looked at me, surprise washing over his face at the boldness of my question.
"Yes, I am," he spoke proudly. "Of the Shadowmoon Pack, greatest pack in all of Canada if you ask me," he smiled.
I liked the way he was so confident. It made me feel safe and secure. A few more hours past with us sitting in a comfortable silence, I couldn't help but feel safe around him, and as foreign as the feeling was, I also craved it.
"Are you ready to go home now Poppet?" Judy ssekd, making her way into my room again sometime later and starting to mess around with the I.V tubing.
I looked at her panicked.
"Home?" I squeeked. Surely they weren't really going to send me home. It wasn't a home where I'd come from it was a hell, my own personal hell and I'd be damned if I was going back.
Shawn seemed to noticed my emotions and stepped forward, slowly holding his arms out, and instead of backing away as I had done earlier,I surprised us both and stepped into his hold.
He was warm and comfortable, our bodies seemed to fit perfectly,denim of his jacket just scratchy enough and the now semi familiar tingling from our contact pleasant enough to ground me somewhat. I stayed like that for a minute or so before I became a little more aware of what I was doing. I was hugging a near stranger,worse he was a male, worse again Ii was actually lettung myself like it.
Sorry, I blushed, stepoing away quicky and looking down.
"You don't need to apologise," he smiled.
"What was the tingling I felt" I asked wanting to change the subject.
"That is what you get when two mates make contact" He smiled wider than I had ever seen a person smile, his fangs being exposed in the process.
I stood, silently, shocked.
"Are you okay" He asked moving to step towards me, I held a hand up and he halted midstride.
"I promise you. We'll take things slowly, right now I just want to get you home- to our home," he amended when he saw the look of panic in my face. "So you can rest."
I nodded. Still not entirely comfortable, but what other choice did I have? Go back to the pack that had tortured me all these years, or even end up homeless on the street? And from everything I'd seen Shawn seemed like a genuinely nice person, who everyone respected. Plus,if he was telling the truth, which from heat I could tell, he was, he was my mate and from all the stories I'd heard as a child, your mate was meant to be the one person in the world who would do anything for you, be anywhere for you. They would literally protect you with their lives.
"Shawn I don't have anything to wear," I whispered embarrassed again, looking down at the gown which barely covered anything as Judy finally finished what she was doing in the corner of he room having taken out my I.V. and left.
"I brought you some clothes, don't worry," he smiled.Pullnig out the most comfortable pale pink sweater I'd ever seen, he handed it to me and I was hit with his scent.
"This is yours?"
",Is that okay?" he worried. " I could go home and get something from one of the girls if you're uncomfortable," he offered.
I just smiled,letting out a little giggle at the extreme level of concern he was showing, which caused him to immediately relax l, shoulders dropping, a slight smile gracing his lips as he shook his head softly.
"Can you turn around please?" I requested. He did as asked giving the privacy I so desperately craved.
When I was finished he took my hand, holding his other under my elbow to support my weight.
He was so patient, never rushing me as he lead me through the hospital and out the doors into the world. I couldn't help but savour the fresh air,the cold winter air burning my lungs but in a good way.
"I bet it feels nice to be outside again,"
I nodded, "How did you find me" I asked, as we continued to walk. It was as if now that I was free my mind could finally ask questions and process all the stuff I had never done previously.
"That's a story for when you've had some more rest," he answered, coming to a stop in front of a Jeep, opening the door and lifting me in. The tingling was still a shock,l everytime he touched my skin.
"Feel free to sleep we've got a bit of a drive ahead of us" he smiled reassuringly, before turning the ignition,the car coming to life.
I woke to someone shaking me,it was dark now and I immediately jumped back in my seat, unsure, before my groggy eyes made contact with Shawn's and I realised where I was and relaxed.
"I won't hurt you, you're safe now Pup," he murmured, moving to brush some hair out of my face with a feather-light touch. I blushed at the nickname."I was just waking you because we're here, this is home" I took in the house illuminated by lights in complete awe.
"So you're an Alpha and you don't hurt humans?" I asked as he helped me cafefully from he car.
"You're not human, you're an omega, but no I have nothing against humans," he added, holding me steady as I swayed on my feet slightly, not used to standing anymore.
I stood stunned again," I know it's a lot to take in, but we'll get to all of that, for now though, you need rest.
We made our way through the house in silence, I could hear other voices, yet we never came across anyone.
"This is my room," he spoke, shifting his grip on me slightly to open the door.
The room was large with huge french doors leading out to a balcony overlooking a big yard and a lake, soft- what looked like silk curtains framing the windows, a guitar sat in one corner a futon in the other. There was a record player in the corner, playing a soft melody which filled the space, creating a warm inviting feeling. In the centre of the room was the biggest bed I had ever seen.
It had several large cushions on it and a duvet cover that looked like it would feel like laying on clouds. Just this bed was bigger than he cell I'd been forced to spend so many years in,I thought with a shudder.
"This is your room?I stumbled over my words.
"Well I'm hoping it will be our room actually." Shawn spoke, scratching at his neck.
I turned panicked. "But only when you're comfortable I'm not about to force you into anything I promise."
He held his pinkie finger out, and I just looked at it unsure of what he wanted.
"Here," he smiled, taking my hand and locking my own little finger with his. "This is called a pinkie promise. It's like a pact that you don't break," he explained with a smile.
"Oh,I guess, I must have forgotten." I felt extremely stupid and shit up quickly, the only sound that of the record player still in the corner. I found it so comforting, my own father had had one when I was little and I could remember watching the record and needle spin for hours.
"There's a room adjacent to mine which I've had the maids freshen up, there's a comfortable bed and an ensuite with fresh towels and a toothbrush." he continued as if there wasn't just a massive awkward silence emitting solely from my lack of understanding.
He turned leading me back out and across the hallway to another door. When he opened it, I saw a room, smaller than his, but still warm and cosy, with a big bed, a window, lots of pretty lights and yet more records, this time hung in the wall.
"You didn't need to do this for me," I told him, as I took it all in.
"I wanted you to be comfortable," he shrugged.
He lead me back to his room where he sat down on the bed, kicking his shoes off and patting the spot next to him.
"How long was I out" I asked after a minute. He got what I meant immediately.
"Three days," he answered somberly.
"How are you feeling? he asked.
"Still very sore," I admitted.
"Here let me see your injuries." he reached over picking up a box of what I soon realised was full of first aid stuff.
He was extremely gentle as he tended to he cuts and scrapes that covered my shoulders, arms,and legs. He even managed to convince me to let him check my ribs. This I found uncomfortsbly and awkward once again, but he was careful not to make it any worse than it had to be and he had rewrapped them quicky and easily.
"How do you know how to do all this?" I asked quietly as he gently dabbed at a cut on my hand. "We'll I'm actually a trained doctor. When I'm not working as the Alpha, I work at the pack hospital. There all done," he announced,packing up the box and disposing of he rubbish in a small medical waste tin.
Half an hour later and I'd gotten changed, again into one of Shawn's oversized hoodies and made myself comfortable in his bed after he insisted I stay in his room incase I needed him.
"Sleep well, Pup, I'll be here if you need me."
He went to lounge on the futon, and I was left to drift to sleep, exhausted by the day's events. My sleep was fitful to satly the least, dreams bad nightmares melding to form weird and wonderful scenarios which would never make sense.
When I woke, it was to a soft knock on the door. Opening my eyes, I could see that it was still slightly light out, though dinner than it had been, probably somewhere around dusk. A girl with dark hair, dark eyes and a kind smile stepped tenntively into the room.
"My name's Karla. Im in the pack. It's nice to meet you," she added warmly. "Shawn's had to go deal with some pack matters so he asked me to come keep you company. I brought you some food. He said you might be hungry." She held out what looked like a croisant, the smell of butter instantly filling the room."I also brought a hair brush," she added. "I thought you might like to brush your hair, I know that always makes me feel better. Or I could do it?" she added again, shyly.
"Thank you."I whispered, my voice still hoarse.
The girl, Karla, came to sit on the bed. She had to be the same age as me. Maybe a year or two older.
"I hope the pack meeting doesn't go too long," she said as I started picking at my croisant. "Shawn won't want to be away from you, it's hard to be away from our mates." She looked dreamy as she spoke, leaving no question that she too had a mate.
"I'm nervous to meet everyone," I admitted with a frown, suddenly not hungry anymore.
"Aww, don't worry everyone will love you," she smiled. "We've all been waiting for ages for him to meet his mate and you're finally here." she clapped in excitement, breaking E and forcing me to smile just as Shawn came through the door with another soft knock.
"Ahhh, I see you've meet Karla," he smiled, raising his eyebrow a little bit. " I hope she's been telling you good things."
"Yep, what were you doing" I asked watching as he took his deniem jacket off- the same one from earlier and chucked it onto the futon, coming to sit next to me on the bed, careful not to invade my personal space.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked watching as I pulled the crosiant to pieces no longer interested by the food, now that I had him here.
"I'm alright," I shrugged.
He nodded, and we lapsed into yet another comfortable quiet.
It was only then that I realised Karla had left the room, she must have excused herself, seeing that she was no longer needed and didn't feel the need to encroach.The hairbrush however was still laying on the bed.
"I just want you to know," he spoke, breaking the silence after a while, "that no matter what happeneds you'll be safe here. I'll protect you with my life, it's my job both as your Alpha and as your mate," he spoke earnestly.
He was looking at me with such an intensity as he spoke that something broke inside of me, and I cracked. "Lucy," I whispered looking down and away from his gaze.
"What?" I could here the confusion in his voice.
"Lucy, my name, my name is Lucy." I spoke more clearly this time, though I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Lucy, that's a pretty name," he murmured. I could see from the corner of my eye that he was reaching for me, and as much as I wanted to move, my body was frozen whether in fear or anticipation I couldn't know, but the next thing I knew both his hands were cupping my face. He was so gentle, almost as if he thought I would break. I looked up at him, once again taken aback by the intensity of his stare.
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
"You're so pretty when you blush," he smiled, caressing my cheek.
"Please don't compliment me, I don't deserve it, I'm ugly," I repeated the words my captors had drilled into me for so many years.
"You, Lucy," he put emphasis on my name. "are anything but ugly. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, inside and out."
"How can you say that?" I replied.
"Because, I can feel it Lucy, right here," he took my hand in his and placed it over his chest where I could feel his heart beat strong and sure. "I've been waiting for you my entire life. And now that I have you, it's my job, my honour to protect you with my life," he explained fiercly.
"Thank you," I chocked out, tears welling in my eyes.Leaning into his frame just slightly despite myself and my fears.
"No pup, thank you."
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agentrouka-blog · 4 years
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Can you please give your opinion on Dany n missendei relationship in books? It's much more complicated than show n both characters are young.
So, Missandei. I don’t think about her a LOT but there was a connection to a theme that struck me when I compared her to the Stark sisters and it points to a relationship that is, let’s say, very different from what the tv show chose to do.
Long. Many quotes.
Preface: The talking bird – a lady’s armor – “Valar Morghulis”
I am always specifically reminded of Missandei when I read this Sansa passage.
Sansa could not bear the sight of him, he frightened her so, yet she had been raised in all the ways of courtesy. A true lady would not notice his face, she told herself. “You rode gallantly today, Ser Sandor,” she made herself say.
(…)
He was mocking her, she realized. “No one could withstand him,” she managed at last, proud of herself. It was no lie.
Sandor Clegane stopped suddenly in the middle of a dark and empty field. She had no choice but to stop beside him. "Some septa trained you well. You're like one of those birds from the Summer Isles, aren't you? A pretty little talking bird, repeating all the pretty little words they taught you to recite."  (AGOT; Sansa II)
A bird from the Summer Isles, repeating words.
The concept of courtesy is a lady’s armor is tied to the idea of the talking bird. (Leaving out the obvious talking raven at the Wall for this, because I don’t see Missandei tied to the magical arc. I see her tied to the political one.)
The phrase “courtesy is a lady’s armor” shows up four times:
Sansa felt that she ought to say something. What was it that Septa Mordane used to tell her? A lady's armor is courtesy, that was it. She donned her armor and said, "I'm sorry my lady mother took you captive, my lord." (ACOK, Sansa I)
and
Sansa felt dizzy; one instant her head was full of dreams of Loras, and the next they had all been snatched away. Willas? Willas? "I," she said stupidly. Courtesy is a lady's armor. You must not offend them, be careful what you say. "I do not know Ser Willas. I have never had the pleasure, my lady. Is he . . . is he as great a knight as his brothers?" (ASOS, Sansa I)
and 
“How old are you, Sansa?” asked Tyrion, after a moment. “Thirteen,” she said, “when the moon turns.” “Gods have mercy.” The dwarf took another swallow of wine. “Well, talk won’t make you older. Shall we get on with this, my lady? If it please you?” “It will please me to please my lord husband.” That seemed to anger him. “You hide behind courtesy as if it were a castle wall.” “Courtesy is a lady’s armor,” Sansa said. Her septa had always told her that. “I am your husband. You can take off your armor now.” “And my clothing?” “That too.” He waved his wine cup at her. “My lord father has commanded me to consummate this marriage.” (ASOS, Sansa III)
and 
A lady's armor is her courtesy. Alayne could feel the blood rushing to her face. No tears, she prayed. Please, please, I must not cry. "As you wish, ser. And now if you will excuse me, Littlefinger's bastard must find her lord father and let him know that you have come, so we can begin the tourney on the morrow." And may your horse stumble, Harry the Heir, so you fall on your stupid head in your first tilt. She showed the Waynwoods a stone face as they blurted out awkward apologies for their companion. When they were done she turned and fled.  (TWOW, Alayne)
So here we have a theme that ties the talking bird to something you were taught by a mentor, to lying, flattering, evading offense in a situation of powerlessness. To evading harm by hiding your true emotions.  
So keep that theme of the lady’s armor in mind before we get to Missandei herself.
But there is another pattern of repeated words, and another Stark Sister with clear parallels to Missandei.
"As well ask what good is life, what good is death? If the day comes when you would find me again, give that coin to any man from Braavos, and say these words to him—valar morghulis."
"Valar morghulis," Arya repeated. It wasn't hard. Her fingers closed tight over the coin. Across the yard, she could hear men dying. "Please don't go, Jaqen."
"Jaqen is as dead as Arry," he said sadly, "and I have promises to keep. Valar morghulis, Arya Stark. Say it again."
"Valar morghulis," she said once more, and the stranger in Jaqen's clothes bowed to her and stalked off through the darkness, cloak swirling. She was alone with the dead men. They deserved to die, Arya told herself, remembering all those Ser Amory Lorch had killed at the holdfast by the lake.
The cellars under Kingspyre were empty when she returned to her bed of straw. She whispered her names to her pillow, and when she was done she added, "Valar morghulis," in a small soft voice, wondering what it meant. (ACOK, Arya IX)
Words by a mentor. The phrase becomes a mantra, it is repeatedly tied to her revenge name list and Jaqen’s iron coin and being unafraid. But she never learns what it means until Braavos. She is merely repeating the words, devoid of meaning. Parroting, the same way Sandor accuses Sansa of doing. But like with Sansa, the action serves to strengthen her.
"Valar morghulis," she told the old gods of the north. She liked how the words sounded when she said them.  (ACOK, Arya X)
And..
She was only ten, a skinny girl on a stolen horse with a dark forest ahead of her and men behind who would gladly cut off her feet. Yet somehow she felt calmer than she ever had in Harrenhal. The rain had washed the guard's blood off her fingers, she wore a sword across her back, wolves were prowling through the dark like lean grey shadows, and Arya Stark was unafraid. Fear cuts deeper than swords, she whispered under her breath, the words that Syrio Forel had taught her, and Jaqen's words too, valar morghulis. (ASOS, Arya I)
And..
The captain turned it over and blinked at it, then looked at her again. "This . . . how . . . ?"
Jaqen said to say the words too. Arya crossed her arms against her chest. "Valar morghulis," she said, as loud as if she'd known what it meant.  (ASOS, Arya XIII)
In Braavos, Arya begins to learn Braavosi, a variant of Valyrian. She becomes a multi-lingual servant in the House of Black and White, tasked with becoming no one, but always secretly being Arya Stark inside. A different kind of armor, a different kind of flying creature. Always playing a role.
Not Randomly:
Archmaester Ebrose, who has made a study of all known accounts of the affliction, believes that it is spread by the butterflies that the Peaceful People revere. For this reason, the disease is oft called butterfly fever. Some believe the fever is carried only by one particular sort of butterfly (a large black-and-white variety with wings as big as a man's hand is favored by Ebrose), but this remains conjecture.
Whether the butterflies of Naath are true handmaids of the Lord of Harmony, or no more than common insects like their cousins in the Seven Kingdoms, it may well be that the Naathi are not wrong in regarding them as guardians. (The World of Ice and Fire – Beyond the Free Cities: Naath)
So we have a connection to a lovely but deadly creature of black and white and Naath. A handmaid. A guardian. Let us keep that in mind, also.
Now let us look at Dany and Missandei directly.
This is how Missandei is introduced to us in ASOS, Daenerys II, when she negotiates for the Unsullied.
“Tell the Westerosi whore to lower her eyes,” the slaver Kraznys mo Nakloz complained to the slave girl who spoke for him. “I deal in meat, not metal. The bronze is not for sale. Tell her to look at the soldiers. Even the dim purple eyes of a sunset savage can see how magnificent my creatures are, surely.”
Kraznys’s High Valyrian was twisted and thickened by the characteristic growl of Ghis, and flavored here and there with words of slaver argot. Dany understood him well enough, but she smiled and looked blankly at the slave girl, as if wondering what he might have said.
“The Good Master Kraznys asks, are they not magnificent?” The girl spoke the Common Tongue well, for one who had never been to Westeros. No older than ten, she had the round flat face, dusky skin, and golden eyes of Naath. The Peaceful People, her folk were called. All agreed that they made the best slaves.
“They might be adequate to my needs,” Dany answered. It had been Ser Jorah’s suggestion that she speak only Dothraki and the Common Tongue while in Astapor. My bear is more clever than he looks. “Tell me of their training.”
“The Westerosi woman is pleased with them, but speaks no praise, to keep the price down,” the translator told her master. “She wishes to know how they were trained.”
Missandei of Naath, a pretty bird from the Summer Isles, repeating the words they tell her. But she, too, does more than that. She translates and manipulates at the same time, conveying intentions, hiding discourtesy. A diplomat, wrapped in lady’s armor. A girl of ten. With eyes as golden as Nymeria’s. She is, and the text doesn’t emphasize this enough, extremely intelligent. She doesn’t know Dany but she is able to read her reasonably well, while translating literally and figuratively, simultaneously. She is basically playing a Game of Faces, reading, translating, lying, repeating… She is basically a character that connects Arya and Sansa on the concept of lying and truth.
 His girl conveyed the essence of his speech, more politely. (…)
“Tell her how pretty the pyramids are at night,” the slaver growled. “Tell her I will lick honey off her breasts, or allow her to lick honey off mine if she prefers.”
“Astapor is most beautiful at dusk, Your Grace,” said the slave girl. “The Good Masters light silk lanterns on every terrace, so all the pyramids glow with colored lights. Pleasure barges ply the Worm, playing soft music and calling at the little islands for food and wine and other delights.”
Missandei is a poet. She also echoes another poet.
She pictured the two of them sitting together in a garden with puppies in their laps, or listening to a singer strum upon a lute while they floated down the Mander on a pleasure barge. If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa's dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya. (ASOS, Sansa II)
Brothers and dreams. Let us keep that in mind, as well.
In ASOS, Daenerys III, Dany acquires the Unsullied at the “price” of a dragon, and gets Missandei tossed in as a bonus.
“Done,” the slave girl translated, “and done, and done, eight times done.”
“The Unsullied will learn your savage tongue quick enough,” added Kraznys mo Nakloz, when all the arrangements had been made, “but until such time you will need a slave to speak to them. Take this one as our gift to you, a token of a bargain well struck.”
“I shall,” said Dany.
The slave girl rendered his words to her, and hers to him. If she had feelings about being given for a token, she took care not to let them show. (…)
 Dany turned away from him, to the slave girl standing meekly beside her litter. “Do you have a name, or must you draw a new one every day from some barrel?”
“That is only for Unsullied,” the girl said. Then she realized the question had been asked in High Valyrian. Her eyes went wide. “Oh.”
“Your name is Oh?”
“No. Your Grace, forgive this one her outburst. Your slave’s name is Missandei, but …”
“Missandei is no longer a slave. I free you, from this instant. Come ride with me in the litter, I wish to talk.” Rakharo helped them in, and Dany drew the curtains shut against the dust and heat. “If you stay with me you will serve as one of my handmaids,” she said as they set off. “I shall keep you by my side to speak for me as you spoke for Kraznys. But you may leave my service whenever you choose, if you have father or mother you would sooner return to.”
“This one will stay,” the girl said. “This one … I … there is no place for me to go. This … I will serve you, gladly.”
"I can give you freedom, but not safety," Dany warned. "I have a world to cross and wars to fight. You may go hungry. You may grow sick. You may be killed."
"Valar morghulis," said Missandei, in High Valyrian.
"All men must die," Dany agreed, "but not for a long while, we may pray." She leaned back on the pillows and took the girl's hand. (ASOS, Daenerys III)
 Does she have a name. Still careful to guard her words. She will speak for Dany like she did for Kraznys. (Dany = Kraznys.) She has no other place to go.  Valar morghulis.
Honestly, I wonder if Missandei truly did not know that Dany could speak Valyrian, or if the wide eyes and “Oh!” reaction were an act. 
Have two Arya parallels:
"You are," he said, "but the House of Black and White is no place for Arya, of House Stark."
"Please," she said. "I have no place to go." (AFFC, Arya I)
We know how deeply genuine Arya’s devotion to the Faceless Men is…
And bilingual fun.
She said a silent Prayer to the god of many faces, slipped out of her alcove, and flounced up to the guardsmen. Mercy, Mercy, Mercy. "My lords," she said, "do you speak Braavosi? Oh, please, tell me you do." The two guardsmen exchanged a look. "What's this Thing going on about?" the older one asked. "Who is she?" "One of the mummers," said the pretty one. He pushed his fair hair back off his brow and smiled at her. "Sorry, sweetling, we don't speak your gibble-gabble." Fuss and feathers, Mercy thought, they only know the Common Tongue. That was no good. Give it up or go ahead. She could not give it up. She wanted him so bad. "I know your tongue, a little," she lied, with Mercy's sweetest smile. "You are lords of Westeros, my friend said." (TWOW, Mercy)
Dany uses the chance to grill Missandei on the loyalty of the Unsullied.
“If I did resell them, how would I know they could not be used against me?” Dany asked pointedly. “Would they do that? Fight against me, even do me harm?”
“If their master commanded. They do not question, Your Grace. All the questions have been culled from them. They obey.” She looked troubled. “When you are … when you are done with them … Your Grace might command them to fall upon their swords.”
“And even that, they would do?”
“Yes.” Missandei’s voice had grown soft. “Your Grace.”
Dany squeezed her hand. “You would sooner I did not ask it of them, though. Why is that? Why do you care?”
“This one does not … I … Your Grace …”
“Tell me.”
The girl lowered her eyes. “Three of them were my brothers once, Your Grace.”
Then I hope your brothers are as brave and clever as you. (ASOS, Daenerys III)
What other reason does Missandei have to not want to leave? Because she has THREE brothers within the ranks of the Unsullied.  Brothers who have been harmed, twisted, enslaved. Brothers she may want to guard, like the butterflies of Naath.
From the moment we meet her, and certainly after she is handed over to Dany, Missandei serves as a tie to the human suffering on Display with the Unsullied. She explains the gruesome “training". She reveals having brothers among them when faced with the possibility that Dany might order their suicide. 
But she also serves to comfort Dany numerous times in a way that Irri (her “not a sex slave”) cannot.
She sings.
The hours crept by on turtle feet. Even after Jhiqui rubbed the knots from her shoulders, Dany was too restless for sleep. Missandei offered to sing her a lullaby of the Peaceful People, but Dany shook her head. “Bring me Arstan,” she said. (ASOS, Daenerys IV)
She tells her stories of her home.
Do all gods feel so lonely? Some must, surely. Missandei had told her of the Lord of Harmony, worshiped by the Peaceful People of Naath; he was the only true god, her little scribe said, the god who always was and always would be, who made the moon and stars and earth, and all the creatures that dwelt upon them. Poor Lord of Harmony. Dany pitied him. It must be terrible to be alone for all time, attended by hordes of butterfly women you could make or unmake at a word. (ASOS, Daenerys VI)
 Who else serves a “one true God”? Arya, with the many-faced god. With his servants in black-and-white. Dany hears a lot about the culture of the Peaceful People from Missandei. She seems to find it relaxing. 
“Are there many flies on Naath, Missandei?”
“On Naath there are butterflies,” the scribe responded in the Common Tongue. “More wine?”
“No. I must hold court soon.” Dany had grown very fond of Missandei. The little scribe with the big golden eyes was wise beyond her years. She is brave as well. She had to be, to survive the life she’s lived. One day she hoped to see this fabled isle of Naath. Missandei said the Peaceful People made music instead of war. They did not kill, not even animals; they ate only fruit and never flesh. The butterfly spirits sacred to their Lord of Harmony protected their isle against those who would do them harm. Many conquerors had sailed on Naath to blood their swords, only to sicken and die. The butterflies do not help them when the slave ships come raiding, though. “I am going to take you home one day, Missandei,” Dany promised. If I had made the same promise to Jorah, would he still have sold me? “I swear it.”
“This one is content to stay with you, Your Grace. Naath will be there, always. You are good to this—to me.”
“And you to me.” Dany took the girl by the hand. “Come help me dress.” (ASOS, Daenerys VI)
 I think Dany is projecting a lot onto Missandei. Her longing for home, for childhood. For loyalty. And yet…
Daario and Ben Plumm, Grey Worm, Irri, Jhiqui, Missandei … as she looked at them Dany found herself wondering which of them would betray her next. (ASOS, Daenerys VI)
And here Missandei witnesses an interesting turn of events.
Dany thought a moment. “Any man who wishes to sell himself into slavery may do so. Or woman.” She raised a hand. “But they may not sell their children, nor a man his wife.”
“In Astapor the city took a tenth part of the price, each time a slave changed hands,” Missandei told her.
“We’ll do the same,” Dany decided. Wars were won with gold as much as swords. “A tenth part. In gold or silver coin, or ivory. Meereen has no need of saffron, cloves, or zorse hides.” (ASOS, Daenerys VI)
Instead of eradicating slave trade, Dany allows it to wobble back into existence, because she had no better plan. Curiously, Missandei seems to support, even enable this. She turns Dany’s attention toward the Astapori practice. Why? That is.. seriously odd, for a former slave who is supposedly enarmored with Dany’s anti-slavery crucade, and thus loyal to her.
Missandei remains gentle, caring, ever so attentive. As Dany struggles with ruling Meereen, Missandei is there to hold her hand.
She was Daenerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, khaleesi and queen, Mother of Dragons, slayer of warlocks, breaker of chains, and there was no one in the world that she could trust.
“Your Grace?” Missandei stood at her elbow wrapped in a bedrobe, wooden sandals on her feet. “I woke, and saw that you were gone. Did you sleep well? What are you looking at?”
“My city,” said Dany. “I was looking for a house with a red door, but by night all the doors are black.”
“A red door?” Missandei was puzzled. “What house is this?”
“No house. It does not matter.” Dany took the younger girl by the hand. “Never lie to me, Missandei. Never betray me.”
“I never would,” Missandei promised. “Look, dawn comes.”
The sky had turned a cobalt blue from the horizon to the zenith, and behind the line of low hills to the east a glow could be seen, pale gold and oyster pink. Dany held Missandei’s hand as they watched the sun come up. (ASOS, Daenerys VI)
 Dany promises to take her home, Missandei promises to never betray her. Or “promises”? She now knows that Dany is certainly concerned with fear of betrayal. Yet her gentle presence allows Dany to refocus when she was tempted to leave Meereen behind.
“There is nothing to stay for,” said Brown Ben Plumm.
“Your Grace, the slavers brought their doom on themselves,” said Daario Naharis.
“You have brought freedom as well,” Missandei pointed out.
“Freedom to starve?” asked Dany sharply. “Freedom to die? Am I a dragon, or a harpy?” Am I mad? Do I have the taint? (ASOS, Daenerys VI)
Dany ends ASOS choosing to stay, to rule.
Of course, the deterioration of Meereen has a devastating personal effect on Missandei. Her brother is murdered.
She could hear the soft sounds of sobs. “Who is that weeping?”
“Your slave Missandei.” Jhiqui had a taper in her hand.
“My servant. I have no slaves.” Dany did not understand. “Why does she weep?”
“For him who was her brother,” Irri told her. (ADWD, Daenerys II)
(Subtext: Irri sees no difference between Missandei and a slave. Dany does not understand. She does not really comprehend how to MAKE it different.)
Mossador. Dany made a fist. Missandei and her brothers had been taken from their home on Naath by raiders from the Basilisk Isles and sold into slavery in Astapor. Young as she was, Missandei had shown such a gift for tongues that the Good Masters had made a scribe of her. Mossador and Marselen had not been so fortunate. They had been gelded and made into Unsullied. (ADWD, Daenerys II)
I wonder what happened to the third brother? Has he died by this point, as well?
Dany decides to employ torture to investigate the murder of Missandei’s brother and others by the Sons of the Harpy. The torture of a suspect’s innocent daughters, to be exact. Another step toward villainy.
When she returned to her rooms atop the pyramid, she found Missandei crying softly on her pallet, trying as best she could to muffle the sound of her sobs. “Come sleep with me,” she told the little scribe. “Dawn will not come for hours yet.”
“Your Grace is kind to this one.” Missandei slipped under the sheets. “He was a good brother.”
Dany wrapped her arms about the girl. “Tell me of him.”
“He taught me how to climb a tree when we were little. He could catch fish with his hands. Once I found him sleeping in our garden with a hundred butterflies crawling over him. He looked so beautiful that morning, this one … I mean, I loved him.” (ADWD, Daenerys II)
Mossador sounds a lot like Bran. Climbing, fishing.
Compare the images:
The night the bird had come from Winterfell, Eddard Stark had taken the girls to the castle godswood, an acre of elm and alder and black cottonwood overlooking the river. The heart tree there was a great oak, its ancient limbs overgrown with smokeberry vines; they knelt before it to offer their thanksgiving, as if it had been a weirwood. Sansa drifted to sleep as the moon rose, Arya several hours later, curling up in the grass under Ned's cloak. All through the dark hours he kept his vigil alone. When dawn broke over the city, the dark red blooms of dragon's breath surrounded the girls where they lay. "I dreamed of Bran," Sansa had whispered to him. "I saw him smiling."
"He was going to be a knight," Arya was saying now. "A knight of the Kingsguard. Can he still be a knight?" (AGOT, Eddard V)
Asleep in the godswood like Mossador had been in the garden. Surrounded by dragon’s breath flowers like he had been covered by butterflies. Two sisters thinking of their brother, terribly harmed. Where Bran survived, Mossador did not.
“As he loved you.” Dany stroked the girl’s hair. “Say the word, my sweet, and I will send you from this awful place. I will find a ship somehow and send you home. To Naath.”
“I would sooner stay with you. On Naath I’d be afraid. What if the slavers came again? I feel safe when I’m with you.”
Safe. The word made Dany’s eyes fill up with tears. “I want to keep you safe.”
Missandei was only a child. With her, she felt as if she could be a child too. “No one ever kept me safe when I was little. Well, Ser Willem did, but then he died, and Viserys … I want to protect you but … it is so hard. To be strong. I don’t always know what I should do. I must know, though. I am all they have. I am the queen … the … the …”
“… mother,” whispered Missandei.
“Mother to dragons.” Dany shivered.
“No. Mother to us all.” Missandei hugged her tighter. “Your Grace should sleep. Dawn will be here soon, and court.”
“We’ll both sleep, and dream of sweeter days. Close your eyes.” When she did, Dany kissed her eyelids and made her giggle.
 And reading this, I just realized that there is a clear parallel to someone else: Taena Merryweather. Where Irri parallels the sexual abuse aspect, Missandei parallels the “sweet confidant” aspect of her relationship with Cersei. Sharing a bed, telling stories, secrets. We know how loyal Taena was to Cersei. 
Missandei just lost her brother whom she loved enough to weep copiously for, yet she ends up comforting Dany, the exchange becomes about Dany. This reads sweet and mutual, but IS IT REALLY when you keep that turn of the conversation in mind?
Dany keeps projecting onto Missandei, and I think Missandei knows. I think Missandei is very aware of this and using it to stay afloat. Not because she is evil but because she is simply trying to survive and do anything he can to try and keep in contact with her brothers, to protect them. Her connection to Dany is the best way to do that.
 Missandei keeps witnessing Dany’s lower points:
When Daenerys returned to her pyramid, sore of limb and sick of heart, she found Missandei reading some old scroll whilst Irri and Jhiqui argued about Rakharo. “You are too skinny for him,” Jhiqui was saying. “You are almost a boy. Rakharo does not bed with boys. This is known.” Irri bristled back. “It is known that you are almost a cow. Rakharo does not bed with cows.”
“Rakharo is blood of my blood. His life belongs to me, not you,” Dany told the two of them. (ADWD, Daenerys VI)
Interestingly, she is also reading “old scrolls”. Educating herself.
Dany remains happily intrusive in her command over her “handmaiden’s” bodies. It accompanies a very strange exchange between them.
A cool wind was blowing on her terrace. Dany sighed with pleasure as she slipped into the waters of her pool. At her command, Missandei stripped off her clothes and climbed in after her. “This one heard the Astapori scratching at the walls last night,” the little scribe said as she was washing Dany’s back.
Irri and Jhiqui exchanged a look. “No one was scratching,” said Jhiqui.
“Scratching … how could they scratch?”
“With their hands,” said Missandei. “The bricks are old and crumbling. They are trying to claw their way into the city.”
“This would take them many years,” said Irri. “The walls are very thick. This is known.”
“It is known,” agreed Jhiqui.
“I dream of them as well.” Dany took Missandei’s hand. “The camp is a good half-mile from the city, my sweetling. No one was scratching at the walls.”
“Your Grace knows best,” said Missandei. (ADWD, Daenerys VI)
 It is not the Astapori scratching.
For a moment he saw only the blackened arches of the bricks above, scorched by dragonflame. A trickle of ash caught his eye, betraying movement. Something pale, half-hidden, stirring. He's made himself a cave, the prince realized. A burrow in the brick. The foundations of the Great Pyramid of Meereen were massive and thick to support the weight of the huge structure overhead; even the interior walls were three times thicker than any castle's curtain walls. But Viserion had dug himself a hole in them with flame and claw, a hole big enough to sleep in. (ADWD, The Dragontamer)
So Missandei is hearing the warning signs the others are missing.
Dany is trying, but the true cost of ruling – the abdication of one’s most personal choices toward the benefit of the many - chafes hard. Interestingly, Missandei is unusually outspoken on the subject. Downright testing the waters of her influence on the friendship track.
 “Your Grace needs more than wine to break her fast. You are such a tiny thing, and you will surely need your strength today.”
That made Daenerys laugh, coming from a girl so small. She relied so much on the little scribe that she oft forgot that Missandei had only turned eleven. They shared the food together on her terrace. As Dany nibbled on an olive, the Naathi girl gazed at her with eyes like molten gold and said, “It is not too late to tell them that you have decided not to wed.”
It is, though, the queen thought, sadly. “Hizdahr’s blood is ancient and noble. Our joining will join my freedmen to his people. When we become as one, so will our city.”
“Your Grace does not love the noble Hizdahr. This one thinks you would sooner have another for your husband.”
I must not think of Daario today. “A queen loves where she must, not where she will.”
Her appetite had left her. “Take this food away,” she told Missandei. “It is time I bathed.” (ADWD, Daenerys VII)
 Eyes like molten gold. Molten gold, a golden crown that men shall tremble to behold. Ominous.
I wonder what Missandei’s endgame here is. Why does she oppose the marriage? Why did she propose the slave sale tax?
 Dany relies on Missandei emotionally. But Missandei seems to pull back, now that Dany did marry Hizdahr.
Dany flinched. “Who is there?”
“Only Missandei.” The Naathi scribe moved closer to the bed. “This one heard you crying.”
“Crying? I was not crying. Why would I cry? I have my peace, I have my king, I have everything a queen might wish for. You had a bad dream, that was all.”
“As you say, Your Grace.” She bowed and made to go.
“Stay,” said Dany. “I do not wish to be alone.”
“His Grace is with you,” Missandei pointed out.
“His Grace is dreaming, but I cannot sleep. On the morrow I must bathe in blood. The price of peace.” She smiled wanly and patted the bed. “Come. Sit. Talk with me.”
“If it please you.” Missandei sat down beside her. “What shall we talk of?”
“Home,” said Dany. “Naath. Butterflies and brothers. Tell me of the things that make you happy, the things that make you giggle, all your sweetest memories. Remind me that there is still good in the world.”
Missandei did her best. She was still talking when Dany finally fell to sleep, to dream queer, half-formed dreams of smoke and fire.
The morning came too soon. (ADWD, Daenerys VIII)
 Missandei did not correct herself when she used “this one”, like she used to before. She does not enthusiastically agree to stay with her. “If it please you” is a phrase used with monarchs like Joffrey, Cersei, Stannis. Dany used it on Viserys, to placate him. 
Missandei becomes even more openly critical just before the fighting pits open.
“Even if the pits must open, must Your Grace go yourself?” asked Missandei as she was washing the queen’s hair.
“Half of Meereen will be there to see me, gentle heart.”
“Your Grace,” said Missandei, “this one begs leave to say that half of Meereen will be there to watch men bleed and die.”
She is not wrong, the queen knew, but it makes no matter. (ADWD, Daenerys IX)
Once again, no correction on the “this one”. She doesn’t bother anymore. Still she makes a last-ditch effort to use her emotional influence on Dany. To no avail. Why does she not want Dany to go? Is it the principle of the thing? Is it to subvert the union? Is it because she knows something is going to happen? Does she Need Dany on a particular path? 
 Just before she leaves for the fighting pits, Dany has her last interaction with Missandei.
Missandei reemerged. “Your Grace. The king bids you join him when you are dressed. And Prince Quentyn has come with his Dornish Men. They beg a word, if that should please you.”
Little about this day shall please me. “Some other day.” (ADWD, Daenerys IX)
That’s it. Brushed off. Missandei stays behind. Dany goes to the pit.
Next we see her is in ADWD, The Queensguard. She is mostly unsupervised, alone.
The royal apartments were still and silent. Hizdahr had not taken up residence there, preferring to establish his own suite of rooms deep in the heart of the Great Pyramid, where massive brick walls surrounded him on all sides. Mezzara, Miklaz, Qezza, and the rest of the queen’s young cupbearers—hostages in truth, but both Selmy and the queen had become so fond of them that it was hard for him to think of them that way—had gone with the king, whilst Irri and Jhiqui departed with the other Dothraki. Only Missandei remained, a forlorn little ghost haunting the queen’s chambers at the apex of the pyramid. (ADWD, The Queensguard)
Dany and Selmy can forget that the kids are hostages. But Theon shows us that they never forget what they are. Irri and Jhiqui remain Dothraki. And Missandei? What IS she up to?
We gain a few more insights on her interactions in Meereen.
“She might be flying home,” he told himself, aloud.
“No,” murmured a soft voice behind him. “She would not do that, ser. She would not go home without us.”
Ser Barristan turned. “Missandei. Child. How long have you been standing there?”
“Not long. This one is sorry if she has disturbed you.” She hesitated. “Skahaz mo Kandaq wishes words with you.”
“The Shavepate? You spoke with him?” That was rash, rash. The enmity ran deep between Shakaz and the king, and the girl was clever enough to know that. Skahaz had been outspoken in his opposition to the queen’s marriage, a fact Hizdahr had not forgotten. “Is he here? In the pyramid?”
“When he wishes. He comes and goes, ser.”
Yes. He would. “Who told you he wants words with me?”
“A Brazen Beast. He wore an owl mask.”
 Like Arya as a cupbearer, Missandei is both visible and invisible and has the opportunity to fade into the background but also make contact with numerous people while she had Dany’s ear, hypothetically. We certainly know that Missandei disapproved of Hizdahr, as well. Also, she is sneaky and can listen to conversations. We know she reads scrolls. Her outward appearance remains that of a loyal believer.
Selmy immediately decides to make use of that ability.
The worst were those who played the game of thrones. “Can you find this owl again?” he asked Missandei.
“This one can try, ser.”
“Tell him I will speak with … with our friend … after dark, by the stables.” The pyramid’s main doors were closed and barred at sunset. The stables would be quiet at that hour. “Make certain it is the same owl.” It would not serve to have the wrong Brazen Beast hear of this.
“This one understands.” Missandei turned as if to go, then paused a moment and said, “It is said that the Yunkai’i have ringed the city all about with scorpions, to loose iron bolts into the sky should Drogon return.”
Ser Barristan had heard that too. “It is no simple thing to slay a dragon in the sky. In Westeros, many tried to bring down Aegon and his sisters. None succeeded.”
Missandei nodded. It was hard to tell if she was reassured. “Do you think that they will find her, ser? The grasslands are so vast, and dragons leave no tracks across the sky.”
“Aggo and Rakharo are blood of her blood … and who knows the Dothraki sea better than Dothraki?” He squeezed her shoulder. “They will find her if she can be found.” If she still lives. There were other khals who prowled the grass, horselords with khalasars whose riders numbered in the tens of thousands. But the girl did not need to hear that. “You love her well, I know. I swear, I shall keep her safe.”
The words seemed to give the girl some comfort. Words are wind, though, Ser Barristan thought. How can I protect the queen when I am not with her?
 Look at her tickling dragon-killing information out of Selmy while appearing very concerned for Dany.
Afterward, back at the apex of the pyramid, Ser Barristan found Missandei amongst piles of scrolls and books, reading. “Stay here tonight, child,” he told her. “Whatever happens, whatever you see or hear, do not leave the queen’s chambers.”
“This one hears,” the girl said. “If she may ask—”
“Best not.” Ser Barristan stepped out alone onto the terrace gardens. I am not made for this, he reflected as he looked out over the sprawling city. The pyramids were waking, one by one, lanterns and torches flickering to life as shadows gathered in the streets below. Plots, ploys, whispers, lies, secrets within secrets, and somehow I have become part of them. (ADWD, The Kingbreaker)
 Again, reading scrolls and books. Again fishing for information. (Understandably, but also probably not innocently.)
 Next, she is caring for Quentyn Martell on his deathbed.
Missandei sat at the bedside. She had been with the prince night and day, tending to such needs as he could express, giving him water and milk of the poppy when he was strong enough to drink, listening to the few tortured words he gasped out from time to time, reading to him when he fell quiet, sleeping in her chair beside him. (ADWD, The Queen’s Hand)
So she is undaunted in the face of death and physical atrocity, much like Arya. Giving comfort to the infirm not unlike Sansa with Sweetrobin.
She assumes the role of confidant for Selmy, as well. Seamless.
The tiny Naathi scribe looked up at his approach. “Honored ser. The prince is beyond pain now. His Dornish gods have taken him home. See? He smiles.”
How can you tell? He has no lips. It would have been kinder if the dragons had devoured him. That at least would have been quick. This … Fire is a hideous way to die. Small wonder half the hells are made of flame. “Cover him.”
Missandei pulled the coverlet over the prince’s face. “What will be done with him, ser? He is so very far from home.”
“I’ll see that he’s returned to Dorne.” But how? As ashes? That would require more fire, and Ser Barristan could not stomach that. We’ll need to strip the flesh from his bones. Beetles, not boiling. The silent sisters would have seen to it at home, but this was Slaver’s Bay. The nearest silent sister was ten thousand leagues away. “You should go sleep now, child. In your own bed.”
“If this one may be so bold, ser, you should do the same. You do not sleep the whole night through.”
Not for many years, child. Not since the Trident. Grand Maester Pycelle had once told him that old men do not need as much sleep as the young, but it was more than that. He had reached that age when he was loath to close his eyes, for fear that he might never open them again. Other men might wish to die in bed asleep, but that was no death for a knight of the Kingsguard.
“The nights are too long,” he told Missandei, “and there is much and more to do, always. Here, as in the Seven Kingdoms. But you have done enough for now, child. Go and rest.” And if the gods are good, you will not dream of dragons. (The Queen’s Hand)
Child he calls her, and yet…
“Ransom,” said Ser Barristan. “Each man’s weight in gold.”
“The Wise Masters do not need our gold, ser,” said Marselen. “They are richer than your Westerosi lords, every one.”
“Their sellswords will want the gold, though. What are the hostages to them? If the Yunkishmen refuse, it will drive a blade between them and their hirelings.” Or so I hope. It had been Missandei who suggested the ploy to him. He would never have thought of such a thing himself. In King’s Landing, bribes had been Littlefinger’s domain, whilst Lord Varys had the task of fostering division amongst the crown’s enemies. His own duties had been more straightforward. Eleven years of age, yet Missandei is as clever as half the men at this table and wiser than all of them. (The Queen’s Hand)
 He takes political advice from the eleven-year-old translator. And he never stops to wonder what else she might be up to. Missandei is no sweet, innocent follower. Missandei is brilliant. She is a patient player. And she hides it so well.
 In Dany’s mind, Missandei remains ever her loyal handmaiden.
 Jhiqui and Irri would be waiting atop her pyramid back in Meereen, she told herself.
Her sweet scribe Missandei as well, and all her little pages. They would bring her food, and she could bathe in the pool beneath the persimmon tree. It would be good to feel clean again. Dany did not need a glass to know that she was filthy. (ADWD, Daenerys X)
and
As the world darkened, Dany settled in and closed her eyes, but sleep refused to come. The night was cold, the ground hard, her belly empty. She found herself thinking of Meereen, of Daario, her love, and Hizdahr, her husband, of Irri and Jhiqui and sweet Missandei, Ser Barristan and Reznak and Skahaz Shavepate. Do they fear me dead? I flew off on a dragon’s back. Will they think he ate me? (ADWD, Daenerys X)
Does she want her alive or dead? And what path does she want her to follow? Missandei’s specific goals are a mystery to me.
But I am loving this.
That relationship is one giant cauldron bubbling away. A big sign saying “Watch this Space”. I am excited for this. Considering the parallels to the Stark sisters, especially Arya, but also to Taena Merryweather, I am fairly certain Missandei is going to betray Dany and play a role in at least a significant setback for her. I do NOT think that Missandei genuinely cares for Dany. The details of her aims are fuzzy to me, but I suspect it’s going to prioritize her brothers.
Considering she was the last to care for Quentyn, I would be especially excited if she somehow came into contact with Dorne, especially Arianne and Aegon, before the end.
 So yeah, those are my thoughts on that relationship.
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a-blue-secret · 3 years
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CHAPTER I
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BACK TO MASTERLIST
Prologue | Chapter I | Chapter II
GENRES: royal au; fantasy au; magic au; friends-to-enemies-to-lovers; king!beomgyu, vizier!taehyun
PAIRING: taegyu
WARNINGS: mild swearing
WORD COUNT: 2.6k+
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AN: Say hello to Yeonjun! :)
SUMMARY: Best friends turned enemies, Kang Taehyun has managed to trick Choi Beomgyu into his service, and to rule for three years and four months and nineteen days, until his youngest brother would be old enough to take the throne. Choi Beomgyu has no intention of being obedient however, and tries to thwart Taehyun’s orders at every turn. With a growing amount of distrust and lies within the court, will Taehyun manage to keep the kingdom of Gojongja from falling apart?
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Beomgyu laughed loudly and boisterously, spilling some of the silver wine over his royal blue suit. The two courtiers looked proud of themselves at having made the King laugh so much. Taehyun refrained from rolling his eyes, choosing to not tell them that Beomgyu had been giving over-the-top reactions for everyone who had come up to him.
“You’re absolutely hilarious!” Beomgyu laughed, throwing both of his legs over the throne’s armrest. “Begone, before you kill me with my own laughter!”
The courtiers stepped down from the King’s Corner, looking rather smug. As soon as they were out of sight, the exaggerated grin dropped from Beomgyu’s face and he tilted back his head with a groan.
“Aren’t you trying to play this part a little too vigorously? I mean, it’s been more than two months and yet you still hold these parties. Our palace can’t run like this forever, you know.”
Beomgyu dropped his head further on the armrest so that he was looking at Taehyun upside down. He narrowed his eyes at his vizier, who was standing ramrod straight next to the throne. “You know,” he said, “I like you better when there are other people around. You’re far too annoying when you talk.”
Taehyun rolled his eyes. “Well I don’t like you at all. You’re annoying whatever you do.”
Beomgyu sat up properly, pouting and looking at Taehyun with wide eyes. “You don’t mean that, do you?” he asked, pout turned up to the max.
Taehyun scoffed. “Don’t do that, you look stupid.” Beomgyu glared at him.
Footsteps approached the King's Corner, and Taehyun stood up straight again, face morphing into a stoic expression. A footsman let out a polite cough, standing just in front of the thin curtain. “There is someone else here to see you, King Beomgyu.”
The lace veil which separated the King’s Corner from the rest of the courtroom twitched, and a foreign lord peered inside. Pushing his half-empty goblet of wine towards Taehyun, Beomgyu beckoned them in. Taehyun could do nothing but frown ever so slightly, before tossing the goblet off the balcony onto the ballroom below. He heard a few shocked shrieks and the sound of shattering crystal, and smirked slightly.
“What matter have you brought to me?” Beomgyu asked the lord. “State your name, and the Kingdom you come from.”
The man bowed. “My name is Lord Choi Yeonjun, Your Greatness. I come from the Aruyeo Kingdom.”
Beomgyu raised his eyebrow. “Aruyeo Kingdom? I assume you and the rest of your court were here for the Coronation revels?”
Choi Yeonjun bowed again. “Yes, sir.”
“Then, state your business with the King.” Beomgyu waved a hand in a careless way, though he was studying the elder male’s face closely.
Yeonju bowed yet again. Honestly, this man seemed to do a lot of bowing. “For many years, our Kingdom has been Gojongja’s most loyal supporter. Not once, in over five hundred years, has Aruyeo made any attempt to go against Gojongja. We have remained firm by your Kingdom’s side, never rebelling, never fighting, staying almost as if we had an alliance with you. The previous King refused this, but, with a new clan on the throne, I have come to ask you.”
“Then by all means, ask away.”
Yeonjun glanced at Taehyun. “I see you have made the former King’s son your vizier.”
“Yes, indeed I have.”
“Is it necessary for him to listen to a conversation he has most likely heard already?”
“Whatever you say to the King will be fit to tell his advisor, regardless of my clan and how many times I may have heard your offer,” Taehyun said smoothly. “You will say it infront of us both, or neither of us at all.”
Yeonjun straightened, adjusting his belt. It was then that Taehyun caught sight of the leather whip curled at his side.
“Very well. As I have stated, my Kingdom has been a fervent ally of yours for generations. Therefore, I hoped to finally have our two kingdoms unite fully, so that we can become true allies. Share war tactics, resources, even people.”
Taehyun frowned. Now he knew why Yeonjun did not want him there. He remembered other Aruyeonan ambassadors had come and claimed similar things. King Seohu had always turned them away, however, claiming that Gojongja was stronger by itself than with an ally. Yeonjun was worried that Taehyun would influence Beomgyu's decision, thereby denying Aruyeo an alliance for yet another year.
“Why has your monarch not come to discuss this herself?” Taehyun asked, hand unconsciously coming to rest on the hilt of his sword. “Why send a representative?”
Yeonjun turned to Taehyun fully, and Taehyun realised why this man sent a chill down his spine. His eyes were amber-brown, and distinctively fox-like. He radiated a suspicious aura, and was someone Taehyun immediately distrusted. Taehyun was sure he hadn’t ever met Choi Yeonjun before (he would have remembered such fox-like eyes), and distrusted him immediately.
Yeonjun let out a slight chuckle, turning to Beomgyu. “Will you always permit your vizier to speak for you?” he asked.
Beomgyu eyed Taehyun distastefully, but calmly answered the Aruyeonan. “It gives him pleasure to believe he has control over me. But, he is correct. Why has Queen Erajin not come to me herself? It would have been best to talk it out, monarch to monarch.”
“Her Royal Supremeness has always preferred to act through ambassadors,” Yeonjun replied. “Her ways are mysterious, and it is not our job to question them, but to follow them without complaint.”
Beomgyu frowned thoughtfully at that. Taehyun desperately wished that he could somehow pull Beomgyu aside and command him to not accept the offer, but he couldn’t do so without it seeming suspicious. Taehyun wasn’t sure why he wanted Beomgyu to reject an alliance with the Aruyeo, but after seeing King Seohu turn them away many times, he was sure that it would be a bad thing to do.
Beomgyu tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I see no harm in an alliance with the Aruyeo,” he said. “But there is no use discussing such politics when I am drunk. Perhaps my vizier could schedule a meeting, and we can discuss formally then?”
Taehyun gritted his teeth. This was Beomgyu forcing him to make the decisions. He knew full well that the King would coincidentally forget about the meeting, meaning Taehyun would have to make the decisions by himself. However, perhaps this time it would be useful, since Taehyun would be able to reject the alliance…
“-and I assure you our discussion will be about all the things Aruyeo will have to offer in our alliance.”
… or not.
Yeonjun bowed, and straightened again. Though his face showed no emotion, Taehyun could sense the triumph radiating from him. “Thank you, Your Greatness.”
Once he had left, Taehyun turned to Beomgyu. “Why did you accept?” he hissed. Beomgyu looked confused, and a little hurt.
“Hey, why are you mad at me? I thought you’d be glad that I’d managed to make an important move by myself.”
“Why would I be glad?” Taehyun scoffed. “You’re drunk, and you’re going around agreeing to alliances you don’t even know the consequences of!”
“Why are you so worked up about it, hm?” Beomgyu said, growing annoyed. “Listen, an alliance with the Aruyeo Kingdom would come in handy. Have you seen the size of their military? Combined with ours, we easily overpower the other two kingdoms 50 men to one.”
“How do you know that-”
“And their resources? Aruyeo is famous for its blacksmiths. They create epic weapons out of metals that other Kingdoms don’t even have. Everyone wants to trade with the merchants of Aruyeo because of their exotic goods and the sheer wealth that they bring.”
Taehyun scowled. “Yes, but-”
“Also, their history of war-winning? It’s better to have them by our side than oppose us. As the prince, you studied past wars, didn't you? That Lord was right. Aruyeo hasn’t fought us for over half a millennium. And you can see, also, if you dig into Aruyeo’s battles, that they have barely ever lost a war. And the impact they had on the defeated is incredible. They know so many war tactics, Taehyun. War tactics, medicinal knowledge, philosophy, the sciences… they know so much.” Beomgyu counted on his fingers. “Their Royal war forces, their economy, their intelligence… Aruyeo, out of any of the other Kingdoms, is probably the best Kingdom to form an alliance with. Why are you so against it?”
Taehyun opened his mouth, and then closed it again. All the points Beomgyu had made were scarily good. He didn’t even know why he opposed the alliance so fiercely. Taehyun sighed. “King Seohu would always have me with him whenever he had meetings with foreign officials. Every couple of years or so, an Aruyeonan ambassador would come to him, stating something along the lines of what that Yeonjun guy just said. And every time, he’d turn them down. Said an alliance would only make us weak.”
Beomgyu frowned, then his face cleared. “The Jinju Kang clan were fiercely independent. They valued individual power and glory. They hated alliances, or friends, or having to rely on others. That’s why.” Beomgyu kicked his legs back onto the armrest, draping himself carelessly on the silver frame. “My clan are known for their loyalty and need for allies. They work better as team leaders, instead of just solitary wolves. For me, for my kingdom, this is what I’m going to do.”
“I’m the one supposed to be running this kingdom, aren’t I?” Taehyun reminded him. Beomgyu rolled his eyes.
“Whatever. But there has to be some sort of Gyeongju Choi element to this rule, otherwise people will doubt I’m truly King.”
Taehyun had to grudgingly admit that Beomgyu made some good points. They stayed there in silence for a few moments, Beomgyu trailing his fingers along the intricate gold designs on the floor. Taehyun stared straight ahead at the lace curtain. His mind was plagued by the same thoughts they’d always had been for the past three weeks, ever since Beomgyu became King. He needed to keep Beomgyu on the throne for as long as possible. But not for too long, otherwise the Jinju Kang clan could never come back to the throne. It would be difficult for Taehyun to negotiate with Beomgyu to convince him to extend their contract, but even more difficult if Beomgyu acquired a taste for ruling and refused to give up the throne. It was all one huge dilemma which Taehyun wasn’t sure he knew how to get out of.
“How did you know so much?” Taehyun suddenly asked. "About Aruyeo, I mean."
Beomgyu didn’t look at Taehyun, but stopped tracing the carpet.
“When you pushed me away… I went to stay in Aruyeo.”
“You what?”
“Yeah. Aruyeo have always been welcoming of Gojongja nobles. It wasn’t that hard to get in. So I stayed there, for a year or so. Learned about Aruyeonan history. They’re an epic Kingdom, by the way.”
Taehyun made a noise to confirm he’d been listening. “Also, why did you suddenly become so smart?”
Beomgyu glared, offended. “Contrary to what you believe, I actually did pay attention in my lessons. Heck, I could write down everything written in ‘the Magical Everchanging Book of Clans and their Population’, with all clans that ever existed, in alphabetical order, with citations as to how many people were in the clans when I was just seventeen.”
“Has it been that long since you opened the book?”
“No, it’s been that long since my tutors decided I had no need to open the book since I’d memorised every word, including the numbers of people which changed every single day,” Beomgyu replied curtly.
Taehyun didn’t say anything, just stared down at the patterned floor.
.・゜-: ✧ :-  
“What clan are you actually from then?”
“Hm?” Taehyun turned to Beomgyu, who was looking at him through dark, slitted eyes. “Oh… I come from the Jeo clan.”
“The what?” Beomgyu sat up, and laughed. “What, do you not have any surname branches?”
Taehyun glared at Beomgyu. “I don’t know, okay? When King Seohu told me three years ago, he never said anything about surname branches. He just told me I was adopted and what my ability was," Taehyun spat.
"What's your ability?"
"Why do you want to know?" Taehyun snapped back. Beomgyu glared.
"You're my subject. I have the right to know what your ability is. God, why are you so defensive over it?" Beomgyu fiddled with a button on his suit, thinking. "Is it something to do with your crazy ability to make magical contracts? Or was that just enchanted parchment?"
"That was just enchanted parchment," Taehyun said. "Apparently, their ability is foreign exchange, whatever that could mean. I haven’t figured out how to tap into this ability yet.” Taehyun leaned against one of the pillars. “Also, I for some reason possess the Jinju Kang clan’s ability of nature manipulation, though I’m not related to their line." He frowned. "Why am I telling you this?"
"I don't know," Beomgyu shrugged. " Did you seriously not know you were illegitimate for years?"
"My whole life. I just assumed I was a Kang."
"Jeo Taehyun…" Beomgyu mused. "Eh. Kang Taehyun sounds better."
Taehyun rolled his eyes. "That's because that's what you're used to." He walked away from beside the throne to look down the balcony at the ballroom floor. "Also, I think we should stop the coronation revels. This is stupid. You're just wasting money and food and our suites by attending to these dumb courtiers who only really care about how close they can get to the throne."
Beomgyu hummed. He'd taken off the silver circlet and was twirling it carelessly around his fingers.
"You shouldn't do that you know," Taehyun berated. "This crown is a precious part of Gojongja history and we don't want you breaking it by playing with it."
Beomgyu grumbled, placing the circlet sulkily back onto his head. "It's enchanted. I'm pretty sure it won't break that easily."
"Well you still shouldn't do it," Taehyun said. "It's disrespectful."
Beomgyu sighed insolently, staring up at the ceiling.
"Also, are you ever going to attend the board meetings? You haven't turned up to a single one since you became King. Do you know how awkward it is to have to explain to the rest of the generals that the King couldn't be bothered to come?"
"Oh, you bore me," Beomgyu said in annoyance. He suddenly stood up, navy velvet cloak swinging behind him. "I'm going to bed." With an air of insolence, Beomgyu swept out through the veil, before abruptly turning around. “If the revels annoy you that much, call them off yourself. And no, I don’t think I’ll be attending any of those board meetings any time soon. They bore me almost as much as you do.” He winked. “See you around, my dear vizier.” Blowing Taehyun a mocking kiss, he disappeared through the veil, mischievous laughter echoing in his wake.
Taehyun blinked, and then growled. He shook his head, gripping the hilt of his sword. "Choi fucking Beomgyu."
Beomgyu's head appeared through the lace suddenly, smirking at Taehyun. "It's 'His Royal Greatness Choi fucking Beomgyu' to you. Oh, and make sure that you air out the Discussion and Tactics Room, will you? When you talk to that Choi Yeonjun, we don't want it looking shabby, do we?"
Taehyun threw a handkerchief at Beomgyu's annoying face. The King only laughed and ducked away, leaving the cloth to flutter to the ground. Taehyun sighed and walked over to pick up the handkerchief. God, Beomgyu was so infuriating…
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Good luck and I hope you can play for a few more years in the Eastern Conference.
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Deliverance| A Werewolf Shawn AU
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Part One
The woods had always been a place of comfort for me... A place to escape the madness of my life of serenity. of course I'd heard the stories of vicious wolves who roamed the darkness waiting to prey on the innocent,but I always put it down to stories, gossip, folklore designed to stop kids from venturing too far. That was until the day I was taken.
A rogue pack had taken me as their personal toy, all the anger and frustration they felt was taken out on me. It was a good day if I got a bit of stale bread, and only one beating. On bad days there would be no food and constant, torturous abuse.
I had endured it for 13 year, my small body the reflection of years of malnutrition and hurt,.but I'd finally escaped.
I had bid my time, waiting till they made an inevitable error, and it had finally happend. One of the younger wolves had forgotten to check the padlock when they'd had their fun with me and I'd seized the opportunity and run as fast as I could. but I wasn't fast enough. The alarm had been sounded and there were now several wolves hot on my heels and I could run no further I had to accept my fate. He was less than a metre away from me when our of nowhere another wolf - russet in colour intercepted him in mid air, knocking him over with the force of an elephant. I could hear the snarling and snapping of jaws as I finally collapsed and
surrendered, the last thing I remember was a tall young man walking towards me .
When I woke it was to a mass of activity.
I drifted in and out of sleep, hearing people talking.feeling hands on me, there was even something about the alpha wanting to see 'her', and a.'mate' and something else about ' killing the pack that did this'.. What that meant I couldn't know in my delirium.
When I managed to finally open my eyes and get past the blindly bright light above me, I was met with the image of a man-pacing back land forth, muttering to himself. And the more immediate threat of someone fiddling with the sheet that lay over me.
Surely with a man this good looking, this close to me it had to be a dream, I tried to convince .myself, but someone shattered the dream almost as soon as is materialised.
"Well hello sweetheart, I'm glad to see you're finally awake," the voice came from that of and older woman with long greying hair braided out of her face "My name's Judy, I'm your nurse," she smiled down at me. "Are you in any pain?" She asked.
I took a moment to take everything in, but I was still unable to make sense of it all.
"Where am I?" I asked, trying to sit up, but everything protested as soon as I moved, even muscles I didn't know I had.
"Just stay still for now dear, you don't want to hurt yourself further," the nurse-Judy spoke kindly, helping me to resettle myself.
Something, maybe me speaking seemed to wake the man from his trance like state and he turned to meet my confused gaze.
He was tall, he had to be at least 6 foot, with sliflghtly tanned skin, the most rich brown eyes I'd ever seen, and hair that was neatly cut, except for a few unruly curls at the front of his head which didn't want to co-operate with the hair gel he'd obviously used to style it.
"Oh,oh thank God." the man rushed over to the side of the bed stopping mere inches from my face.
I could feel my heart rate picking up as panic set in, not used to people (let alone males) being this close without hurting me.
I turned to Judy asking desperately with my eyes for help
She must have got the memo because she cleared her throat and spoke.
She seemed somewhat hesitant though "Alpha, I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, I know you must be worried sick as we all are, however would it not be prudent to give the girl some space?"
The man searched my face for a moment, before straightening and stepping backwards.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he muttered guiltily.
"You didn't," I lied before I could think about it.
"My name's Shawn what's yours?" he asked holding his hand out for me to take.
I kept my mouth shut, years of torture telling me to keep quiet. He dropped his extended up so it was back at his side.
"Alrighty then, when you're ready. I won't push you." He spoke, it seemed as though he was trying deliberately to keep his tone, soft, conversational and I appreciated it.
At that moment the doctor walked in. "It's good to see you awake Miss," he spoke echoing Judy's words.
"I'm sorry to say you're quite banged up." Shawn started pacing again at his words.
"
I would have sworn I heard a growl.
"Shawn you have to stay calm," Judy spoke, it sounded almost as if she was trying to comfort him, confusing me further.
Once the doctor left Shawn calmed down, having dragging a chair from outside my room to sit beside my bed.
"I heard something about killing another pack?" I asked weighing my words cafefully. "So are you all wolves too?"
"Yes, honey, but I promise you're safe here," he replied softly, looking over at me. I looked down again, not able to take the human interaction.
"Everytime I look at you, you look down. Why is that?"he asked, sounding sad.
" I didn't mean to upset you," I panicked.Starting to pick at the I.V in my arm, it was something I always did when I was nervous, picking things, my skin, nails whatever seemed to help.
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not mad," he cut me off. "I just mean I've noticed it is all," he lay a hand carefully on my arm and surprisingly the contact helped.
"I don't know," I pondered, distracted by his touch. There was a weird, warm feeling flowing from the point of contact straight up to my chest, not dissimilar to when your hands or feet go numb and then start to respond again. It wasn't unpleasant, just strange. "I guess, I'm not used to positive human contact," I admitted, looking up to see him shaking his head.
"Are you the Alpha?" I asked suddenly. He looked at me, surprise washing over his face at the boldness of my question.
"Yes, I am," he spoke proudly. "Of the Shadowmoon Pack, greatest pack in all of Canada if you ask me," he smiled.
I liked the way he was so confident. It made me feel safe and secure. A few more hours past with us sitting in a comfortable silence, I couldn't help but feel safe around him, and as foreign as the feeling was, I also craved it.
"Are you ready to go home now Poppet?" Judy ssekd, making her way into my room again sometime later and starting to mess around with the I.V tubing.
I looked at her panicked.
"Home?" I squeeked. Surely they weren't really going to send me home. It wasn't a home where I'd come from it was a hell, my own personal hell and I'd be damned if I was going back.
Shawn seemed to noticed my emotions and stepped forward, slowly holding his arms out, and instead of backing away as I had done earlier,I surprised us both and stepped into his hold.
He was warm and comfortable, our bodies seemed to fit perfectly,denim of his jacket just scratchy enough and the now semi familiar tingling from our contact pleasant enough to ground me somewhat. I stayed like that for a minute or so before I became a little more aware of what I was doing. I was hugging a near stranger,worse he was a male, worse again Ii was actually lettung myself like it.
Sorry, I blushed, stepoing away quicky and looking down.
"You don't need to apologise," he smiled.
"What was the tingling I felt" I asked wanting to change the subject.
"That is what you get when two mates make contact" He smiled wider than I had ever seen a person smile, his fangs being exposed in the process.
I stood, silently, shocked.
"Are you okay" He asked moving to step towards me, I held a hand up and he halted midstride.
"I promise you. We'll take things slowly, right now I just want to get you home- to our home," he amended when he saw the look of panic in my face. "So you can rest."
I nodded. Still not entirely comfortable, but what other choice did I have? Go back to the pack that had tortured me all these years, or even end up homeless on the street? And from everything I'd seen Shawn seemed like a genuinely nice person, who everyone respected. Plus,if he was telling the truth, which from heat I could tell, he was, he was my mate and from all the stories I'd heard as a child, your mate was meant to be the one person in the world who would do anything for you, be anywhere for you. They would literally protect you with their lives.
"Shawn I don't have anything to wear," I whispered embarrassed again, looking down at the gown which barely covered anything as Judy finally finished what she was doing in the corner of he room having taken out my I.V. and left.
"I brought you some clothes, don't worry," he smiled.Pullnig out the most comfortable pale pink sweater I'd ever seen, he handed it to me and I was hit with his scent.
"This is yours?"
",Is that okay?" he worried. " I could go home and get something from one of the girls if you're uncomfortable," he offered.
I just smiled,letting out a little giggle at the extreme level of concern he was showing, which caused him to immediately relax l, shoulders dropping, a slight smile gracing his lips as he shook his head softly.
"Can you turn around please?" I requested. He did as asked giving the privacy I so desperately craved.
When I was finished he took my hand, holding his other under my elbow to support my weight.
He was so patient, never rushing me as he lead me through the hospital and out the doors into the world. I couldn't help but savour the fresh air,the cold winter air burning my lungs but in a good way.
"I bet it feels nice to be outside again,"
I nodded, "How did you find me" I asked, as we continued to walk. It was as if now that I was free my mind could finally ask questions and process all the stuff I had never done previously.
"That's a story for when you've had some more rest," he answered, coming to a stop in front of a Jeep, opening the door and lifting me in. The tingling was still a shock,l everytime he touched my skin.
"Feel free to sleep we've got a bit of a drive ahead of us" he smiled reassuringly, before turning the ignition,the car coming to life.
I woke to someone shaking me,it was dark now and I immediately jumped back in my seat, unsure, before my groggy eyes made contact with Shawn's and I realised where I was and relaxed.
"I won't hurt you, you're safe now Pup," he murmured, moving to brush some hair out of my face with a feather-light touch. I blushed at the nickname."I was just waking you because we're here, this is home" I took in the house illuminated by lights in complete awe.
"So you're an Alpha and you don't hurt humans?" I asked as he helped me cafefully from he car.
"You're not human, you're an omega, but no I have nothing against humans," he added, holding me steady as I swayed on my feet slightly, not used to standing anymore.
I stood stunned again," I know it's a lot to take in, but we'll get to all of that, for now though, you need rest.
We made our way through the house in silence, I could hear other voices, yet we never came across anyone.
"This is my room," he spoke, shifting his grip on me slightly to open the door.
The room was large with huge french doors leading out to a balcony overlooking a big yard and a lake, soft- what looked like silk curtains framing the windows, a guitar sat in one corner a futon in the other. There was a record player in the corner, playing a soft melody which filled the space, creating a warm inviting feeling. In the centre of the room was the biggest bed I had ever seen.
It had several large cushions on it and a duvet cover that looked like it would feel like laying on clouds. Just this bed was bigger than he cell I'd been forced to spend so many years in,I thought with a shudder.
"This is your room?I stumbled over my words.
"Well I'm hoping it will be our room actually." Shawn spoke, scratching at his neck.
I turned panicked. "But only when you're comfortable I'm not about to force you into anything I promise."
He held his pinkie finger out, and I just looked at it unsure of what he wanted.
"Here," he smiled, taking my hand and locking my own little finger with his. "This is called a pinkie promise. It's like a pact that you don't break," he explained with a smile.
"Oh,I guess, I must have forgotten." I felt extremely stupid and shit up quickly, the only sound that of the record player still in the corner. I found it so comforting, my own father had had one when I was little and I could remember watching the record and needle spin for hours.
"There's a room adjacent to mine which I've had the maids freshen up, there's a comfortable bed and an ensuite with fresh towels and a toothbrush." he continued as if there wasn't just a massive awkward silence emitting solely from my lack of understanding.
He turned leading me back out and across the hallway to another door. When he opened it, I saw a room, smaller than his, but still warm and cosy, with a big bed, a window, lots of pretty lights and yet more records, this time hung in the wall.
"You didn't need to do this for me," I told him, as I took it all in.
"I wanted you to be comfortable," he shrugged.
He lead me back to his room where he sat down on the bed, kicking his shoes off and patting the spot next to him.
"How long was I out" I asked after a minute. He got what I meant immediately.
"Three days," he answered somberly.
"How are you feeling? he asked.
"Still very sore," I admitted.
"Here let me see your injuries." he reached over picking up a box of what I soon realised was full of first aid stuff.
He was extremely gentle as he tended to he cuts and scrapes that covered my shoulders, arms,and legs. He even managed to convince me to let him check my ribs. This I found uncomfortsbly and awkward once again, but he was careful not to make it any worse than it had to be and he had rewrapped them quicky and easily.
"How do you know how to do all this?" I asked quietly as he gently dabbed at a cut on my hand. "We'll I'm actually a trained doctor. When I'm not working as the Alpha, I work at the pack hospital. There all done," he announced,packing up the box and disposing of he rubbish in a small medical waste tin.
Half an hour later and I'd gotten changed, again into one of Shawn's oversized hoodies and made myself comfortable in his bed after he insisted I stay in his room incase I needed him.
"Sleep well, Pup, I'll be here if you need me."
He went to lounge on the futon, and I was left to drift to sleep, exhausted by the day's events. My sleep was fitful to satly the least, dreams bad nightmares melding to form weird and wonderful scenarios which would never make sense.
When I woke, it was to a soft knock on the door. Opening my eyes, I could see that it was still slightly light out, though dinner than it had been, probably somewhere around dusk. A girl with dark hair, dark eyes and a kind smile stepped tenntively into the room.
"My name's Karla. Im in the pack. It's nice to meet you," she added warmly. "Shawn's had to go deal with some pack matters so he asked me to come keep you company. I brought you some food. He said you might be hungry." She held out what looked like a croisant, the smell of butter instantly filling the room."I also brought a hair brush," she added. "I thought you might like to brush your hair, I know that always makes me feel better. Or I could do it?" she added again, shyly.
"Thank you."I whispered, my voice still hoarse.
The girl, Karla, came to sit on the bed. She had to be the same age as me. Maybe a year or two older.
"I hope the pack meeting doesn't go too long," she said as I started picking at my croisant. "Shawn won't want to be away from you, it's hard to be away from our mates." She looked dreamy as she spoke, leaving no question that she too had a mate.
"I'm nervous to meet everyone," I admitted with a frown, suddenly not hungry anymore.
"Aww, don't worry everyone will love you," she smiled. "We've all been waiting for ages for him to meet his mate and you're finally here." she clapped in excitement, breaking E and forcing me to smile just as Shawn came through the door with another soft knock.
"Ahhh, I see you've meet Karla," he smiled, raising his eyebrow a little bit. " I hope she's been telling you good things."
"Yep, what were you doing" I asked watching as he took his deniem jacket off- the same one from earlier and chucked it onto the futon, coming to sit next to me on the bed, careful not to invade my personal space.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked watching as I pulled the crosiant to pieces no longer interested by the food, now that I had him here.
"I'm alright," I shrugged.
He nodded, and we lapsed into yet another comfortable quiet.
It was only then that I realised Karla had left the room, she must have excused herself, seeing that she was no longer needed and didn't feel the need to encroach.The hairbrush however was still laying on the bed.
"I just want you to know," he spoke, breaking the silence after a while, "that no matter what happeneds you'll be safe here. I'll protect you with my life, it's my job both as your Alpha and as your mate," he spoke earnestly.
He was looking at me with such an intensity as he spoke that something broke inside of me, and I cracked. "Lucy," I whispered looking down and away from his gaze.
"What?" I could here the confusion in his voice.
"Lucy, my name, my name is Lucy." I spoke more clearly this time, though I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Lucy, that's a pretty name," he murmured. I could see from the corner of my eye that he was reaching for me, and as much as I wanted to move, my body was frozen whether in fear or anticipation I couldn't know, but the next thing I knew both his hands were cupping my face. He was so gentle, almost as if he thought I would break. I looked up at him, once again taken aback by the intensity of his stare.
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
"You're so pretty when you blush," he smiled, caressing my cheek.
"Please don't compliment me, I don't deserve it, I'm ugly," I repeated the words my captors had drilled into me for so many years.
"You, Lucy," he put emphasis on my name. "are anything but ugly. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, inside and out."
"How can you say that?" I replied.
"Because, I can feel it Lucy, right here," he took my hand in his and placed it over his chest where I could feel his heart beat strong and sure. "I've been waiting for you my entire life. And now that I have you, it's my job, my honour to protect you with my life," he explained fiercly.
"Thank you," I chocked out, tears welling in my eyes.Leaning into his frame just slightly despite myself and my fears.
"No pup, thank you."
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violints-a-blog · 5 years
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there’ll always be a few things, maybe several things, that you’re going to find really difficult to forgive.
NEWLY RAGE - FILLED   —   vanya has not felt such depth of emotion since she was a child   ,   since before she had the words to describe them   ,   &   here at the beginning of things   ,   back where they’d started   (   the world ended   ,   &   here they are!   alive   &   small   &   breathing!   )   ,   she is so deeply unsure how to handle her feelings.   there is so much buried within her   ,   so much she’d had no idea was there until only a few weeks ago   —   so much anger   ,   so much grief   ,   so much guilt   ,   &   it is all she can do to keep the table from shaking when they all sit down for dinner pretending nothing has changed.   it would be easy to ruin this.   it would be so simple   :   she has destroyed this un - home once   &   could do so again with a blink of an eye   ,   small but oh - so - capable vanya standing among wreckage and finally   ,   finally feeling at home.   
but she doesn’t.   she looks at her father across the table   &   he does not notice the way her eyes are cold   ,   the wisdom they hold far beyond what vanya of the past would have carried.   why would he?   she allows herself to picture what would happen if he did see   :   number seven   ,   have you been taking your medication?   &   she allows herself to imagine saying no   ,   i have not   &   rumbling the room   ,   seeing fear flash through reginald hargreeves’ eyes   ,   well - deserved.   she looks at luther   &   remembers being locked in a room with four gray walls   &   pictures him caught in the wreckage   —   sees diego   &   recalls she’s a liability   ,   she doesn’t belong here   ,   and he   ,   too   ,   is there in her imaginings.
but that reminds her of the concert   —   of everyone looking at her like she was a villain   ,   like she’d meant to do any of it   —   and perhaps they were right to look at her that way   ,   but it does not mean she enjoys it   ,   and she locks away the revenge - seeking part of her mind with the clang of a metal soundproofed door.
ben must see it   —   the way her fists grip her silverware like it will come to life   &   kill her if she lets go even a bit   ,   or the way she tries so desperately to act as a shell of a person as she should   (   do not change anything   ,   act natural   ,   act normal   )   while emotion flashes clear - as - day across her open - book face.   vanya has never been a very good actress.   even before   ,   when she’d walked through life numb   &   half - empty   ,   she had been entirely unable to hide her hurt.   now   ,   it must be visible from space.   he takes her aside   &   says something about forgiveness   &   her hands tremble at her sides   ,   curled into small fists.   (   the worst part is?   the main person she cannot forgive in this house is not father or pogo or luther or any of them.   she thinks of the concert   &   using her bow as a knife to slash allison’s throat   ,   thinks of how right it had all felt in the moment   ,   and she cannot forgive herself.   )
much as she cannot conceal her feelings as they flit across her face   ,   she’s unpracticed at speaking them aloud   —   &   she wouldn’t know how to put this into words anyway   ,   the cocktail of anger and guilt that intermix and boil up within her.   she shakes her head   ,   gives a smile that aims for reassuring and ends up somewhere closer to utterly sad.      ‘   it’s fine.  ’      as if anything about this situation could be fine.   as if standing in the mansion she’d turned to rubble less than a month prior could be okay   —   a do - over   ,   but she has the same emotions   ,   the same memories   ,   the very same guilt and more.
*   the sunset tree.   accepting.
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Your opinion on book Dany?
Short story short: I love her
Long story short: under the cut
(p.s a lot of this was from @rainhadaenerys​)
She is far superior than show!dany. i love book!dany so much more than I love show!dany, and that’s saying something because even then, I still adore show!dany. It has nothing to do with the performance of the character, Emilia truly did such a phenomenal and splendid job portraying Daenerys, it’s more how the tv show clearly and obviously changed her character to fit their narrative.
The show and the books are different when it comes to like... nearly everything. For Daenerys specifically, the made her cold, almost cruel. They made her irrational, they made her seem like she was teetering on the edge of madness. They removed the calm, rational, extremely intelligent and caring side of Daenerys. They started changing certain scenes for her character around season 2. I remember in 2.01 they had her say “When my dragons are grown we will take back what was stole from us, we will lay waste to our armies and burn cities to the ground. Turn us away, and we’ll burn you first.” which she literally never ever says in the books but ok. They also had Doreah BETRAY HER and then have daenerys KILL her. Which NEVER HAPPENED! Doreah died in the Red Waste, Daenerys giving her the last of the water they had and soothed her as she died.
Doreah took a fever and grew worse with every league they crossed. Her lips and hands broke with blood blisters, her hair came out in clumps, and one evenfall she lacked the strength to mount her horse. Jhogo said they must leave her or bind her to her saddle, but Dany remembered a night on the Dothraki sea, when the Lysene girl had taught her secrets so that Drogo might love her more. She gave Doreah water from her own skin, cooled her brow with a damp cloth, and held her hand until she died, shivering. Only then would she permit the khalasar to press on. - Daenerys I ACOK
They made her make irrational decisions, which she of course is capable of doing, she’s not perfect, but they had her male counselors around her calm her down and advise her against this and that when in the books! she is the one to tell them no to irrational plans and she’s the one to counsel them away from but whatever, men am I right? Dany doesn’t have “violent tendencies”, no more than any other characters. And the situation is quite the opposite: it’s Dany’s male advisors that keep telling her to be more violent and ruthless, and Dany is the one that controls them and holds them back. As an example, Jorah is a character that constantly tells Dany to be more dishonorable and ruthless, but Dany refuses:
“When Aegon the Dragon stepped ashore in Westeros, the kings of Vale and Rock and Reach did not rush to hand him their crowns. If you mean to sit his Iron Throne, you must win it as he did, with steel and dragonfire. And that will mean blood on your hands before the thing is done.”
Blood and fire, thought Dany. The words of House Targaryen. She had known them all her life. “The blood of my enemies I will shed gladly. The blood of innocents is another matter. Eight thousand Unsullied they would offer me. Eight thousand dead babes. Eight thousand strangled dogs.” - Daenerys II ASOS
Daario keeps telling her to be more violent:
“Then winkle them out of their pyramids on some pretext. A wedding might serve. Why not? Promise your hand to Hizdahr and all the Great Masters will come to see you married. When they gather in the Temple of the Graces, turn us loose upon them.”
Dany was appalled. He is a monster. A gallant monster, but a monster still. “Do you take me for the Butcher King?” - Daenerys IV ADWD
“You are fighting shadows when you should be fighting the men who cast them,” Daario went on. “Kill them all and take their treasures, I say. Whisper the command, and your Daario will make you a pile of their heads taller than this pyramid.”
“If I knew who they were—”
“Zhak and Pahl and Merreq. Them, and all the rest. The Great Masters. Who else would it be?”
He is as bold as he is bloody. “We have no proof this is their work. Would you have me slaughter my own subjects?” - Daenerys IV ADWD
Another of her male advisors, Skahaz, also tells her to be more violent:
“If he is not the Harpy, he knows him. I can find the truth of that easy enough. Give me your leave to put Hizdahr to the question, and I will bring you a confession.”
“No,” she said. “I do not trust these confessions. You’ve brought me too many of them, all of them worthless.”
“Your Radiance—”
“No, I said.” - Daenerys V ADWD
“Every man on that list has kin within the city. Sons and brothers, wives and daughters, mothers and fathers. Let my Brazen Beasts seize them. Their lives will win you back those ships.”
“If I send the Brazen Beasts into the pyramids, it will mean open war inside the city. I have to trust in Hizdahr. I have to hope for peace.” Dany held the parchment above a candle and watched the names go up in flame, while Skahaz glowered at her. - Daenerys V ADWD
Her sellswords want her to use her dragons, but Dany refuses:
Dany sighed. “I am sorry, Ben. I dare not loose the dragons.” - Daenerys V ADWD
And even though Tyrion and Dany haven’t met in the books, he is much more ruthless in the books than in the show:
The fact that there were any good wells at all within a day’s march of the city only went to prove that Daenerys Targaryen was still an innocent where siegecraft was concerned. She should have poisoned every well. Then all the Yunkishmen would be drinking from the river. See how long their siege lasts then. That was what his lord father would have done, Tyrion did not doubt. - Tyrion XI ADWD
She compensates her people for what they lost due to her dragons and treats them with kindness, even though her advisors suggest brutality:
“Three-and-twenty.” Dany sighed. “My dragons have developed a prodigious taste for mutton since we began to pay the shepherds for their kills. Have these claims been proven?”
“Some men have brought burnt bones.”
“Men make fires. Men cook mutton. Burnt bones prove nothing. Brown Ben says there are red wolves in the hills outside the city, and jackals and wild dogs. Must we pay good silver for every lamb that goes astray between Yunkai and the Skahazadhan?”
“No, Magnificence.” Reznak bowed. “Shall I send these rascals away, or will you want them scourged?”
Daenerys shifted on the bench. “No man should ever fear to come to me.” Some claims were false, she did not doubt, but more were genuine. […] “Pay them for the value of their animals,” she told Reznak, “but henceforth claimants must present themselves at the Temple of the Graces and swear a holy oath before the gods of Ghis.” - Daenerys I ADWD
The Shavepate had urged her to put the man to death. “At least rip out his tongue. This man’s lie could destroy us all, Magnificence.” Instead Dany chose to pay the blood price. No one could tell her the worth of a daughter, so she set it at one hundred times the worth of a lamb. “I would give Hazzea back to you if I could,” she told the father, “but some things are beyond the power of even a queen. Her bones shall be laid to rest in the Temple of the Graces, and a hundred candles shall burn day and night in her memory. Come back to me each year upon her nameday, and your other children shall not want … but this tale must never pass your lips again.” - Daenerys II ADWD
Daenerys is really really funny. Like she is SO funny. I remember she asked Barristan what a ruler should have and when he answered with “Wisdom and courage.” she replied with “cheeks of steel” basically saying  her ass is sore from sitting on the bench slab for so long while seeing to her people. 
"Ser Barristan," she called, "I know what quality a king needs most." "Courage, Your Grace?" "Cheeks like iron," she teased. "All I do is sit."
(it’s even better when you remember the next day her throne room is full of pillow) She’s genuinely funny and D&D actually wouldn’t let her play Daenerys in a funny way - proving that she knows the character better than they do lmao.
She’s is also a child, she’s 13 in the books [which they couldn’t really play into since they had to age up show!dany for obvious reasons] but she’s very playful. She’s constantly laughing, joking with her girls, just being goofy in the books as well. I remember once she threw a grape at Xaro in a playful manner when he told her to stop.
She’s also very in love with Daario, who I don’t really like but whatever, but she literally fantasizes about being common folk with him and not having the weight of the world on her shoulders.
What is it?” she cried, as Irri shook her gently by the shoulder. It was the black of night outside. Something is wrong, she knew at once. “Is it Daario? What’s happened?” In her dream they had been man and wife, simple folk who lived a simple life in a tall stone house with a red door. In her dream he had been kissing her all over—her mouth, her neck, her breasts.
She found herself thinking of Daario Naharis once again, Daario with his gold tooth and trident beard, his strong hands resting on the hilts of his matched arakh and stiletto, hilts wrought of gold in the shape of naked women. The day he took his leave of her, as she was bidding him farewell, he had brushed the balls of his thumbs lightly across them, back and forth. I am jealous of a sword hilt, she had realized, of women made of gold. Sending him to the Lamb Men had been wise. She was a queen, and Daario Naharis was not the stuff of kings.
She really just wants a simple life and someone to love her, but she understands that it’s her duty and her mission to help as many people as she can.
You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros. "It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."
She’s also so very very affectionate to those she loves and even those who she’s not even close to. She kisses and hugs like literally everyone. She kisses Barristan, she kisses Daario, she kisses Jorah, she kisses she city people, she kisses Missandei, Irri and everyone else who is around her. She shows herself through affection and small acts of kindness.
The Lysene girl quailed, but Dany calmed her with a touch. “Don’t be afraid, he won’t hurt you. Sweet brother, please, forgive her, the girl misspoke herself, I told her to ask you to sup with me, if it pleases Your Grace.” - Daenerys IV AGOT
Distantly, as from far away, Dany heard her handmaid Jhiqui sobbing in fear, pleading that she dared not translate, that the khal would bind her and drag her behind his horse all the way up the Mother of Mountains. She put her arm around the girl. “Don’t be afraid,” she said. “I shall tell him.” - Daenerys V AGOT
When Doreah looked longingly at a fertility charm at a magician’s booth, Dany took that too and gave it to the handmaid, thinking that now she should find something for Irri and Jhiqui as well. - Daenerys VI AGOT
“Enough,” Daenerys said. “Prince Quentyn has crossed half the world to offer me his gift, I will not have him treated with discourtesy.” - Daenerys VII ADWD
Rhaegal roared in answer, and fire filled the pit, a spear of red and yellow. Viserion replied, his own flames gold and orange. When he flapped his wings, a cloud of grey ash filled the air. Broken chains clanked and clattered about his legs. Quentyn Martell jumped back a foot.
A crueler woman might have laughed at him, but Dany squeezed his hand and said, “They frighten me as well. There is no shame in that. My children have grown wild and angry in the dark.” - Daenerys VIII ADWD
When she returned to her rooms atop the pyramid, she found Missandei crying softly on her pallet, trying as best she could to muffle the sound of her sobs.
“Come sleep with me,” she told the little scribe. “Dawn will not come for hours yet.”
“Your Grace is kind to this one.” Missandei slipped under the sheets. “He was a good brother.”
Dany wrapped her arms about the girl. “Tell me of him.”
“He taught me how to climb a tree when we were little. He could catch fish with his hands. Once I found him sleeping in our garden with a hundred butterflies crawling over him. He looked so beautiful that morning, this one … I mean, I loved him.”
“As he loved you.” Dany stroked the girl’s hair. “Say the word, my sweet, and I will send you from this awful place. I will find a ship somehow and send you home. To Naath.”
She cares for her brother, even though he molested her, abused her and sold her.
Jhogo asks if you would have him dead, Khaleesi,” Irri said.
“No,” Dany replied. “No.”
Jhogo understood that. One of the others barked out a comment, and the Dothraki laughed. Irri told her, “Quaro thinks you should take an ear to teach him respect.”
[…]
“Tell them I do not wish him harmed,” Dany said. - Daenerys III AGOT
She tries to ask forgiveness for taking his horse by giving him new clothes so that he would be respected:
“New raiment. I had it made for you.” Dany smiled shyly.
He looked at her and sneered. “Dothraki rags. Do you presume to dress me now?”
“Please … you’ll be cooler and more comfortable, and I thought … maybe if you dressed like them, the Dothraki …” Dany did not know how to say it without waking his dragon. - Daenerys IV AGOT
“I saw His Grace this morning,” he told her. “He told me he was going to the Western Market, in search of wine.”
[…]
“Is that wise?” she asked. “He has no gold to pay soldiers. What if he’s betrayed?” Caravan guards were seldom troubled much by thoughts of honor, and the Usurper in King’s Landing would pay well for her brother’s head. “You ought to have gone with him, to keep him safe. You are his sworn sword.” - Daenerys V AGOT
She is willing to give Viserys her precious dragon eggs:
Dany had not known, had not even suspected. “Then … he should have them. He does not need to steal them. He had only to ask. He is my brother … and my true king.” - Daenerys V AGOT
And she tries to protect him again during the feast in Vaes Dothrak, even when he takes out his sword and threatens her and her unborn child:
A sense of dread closed around her heart. “Go to him,” she commanded Ser Jorah. “Stop him. Bring him here. Tell him he can have the dragon’s eggs if that is what he wants.” The knight rose swiftly to his feet. - Daenerys V AGOT“The blade … you must not,” she begged him. “Please, Viserys. It is forbidden. Put down the sword and come share my cushions. There’s drink, food … is it the dragon’s eggs you want? You can have them, only throw away the sword.” - Daenerys V AGOT
Daenerys most certainly has dragons blood in her. Her moments of anger are out of the hurting, suffering and death of others.
“Your servants have arrested the owner of the wineshop and his daughters. They plead their ignorance and beg for mercy.” They all plead ignorance and beg for mercy.
“Give them to the Shavepate. Skahaz, keep each apart from the others and put them to the question.”
“It will be done, Your Worship. Would you have me question them sweetly, or sharply?”
“Sweetly, to begin. Hear what tales they tell and what names they give you. It may be they had no part in this.” She hesitated.
“Nine, the noble Reznak said. Who else?”
“Three freedmen, murdered in their homes,” the Shavepate said.
“A moneylender, a cobbler, and the harpist Rylona Rhee. They cut her fingers off before they killed her.”
The queen flinched. Rylona Rhee had played the harp as sweetly as the Maiden. When she had been a slave in Yunkai, she had played for every highborn family in the city. In Meereen she had become a leader amongst the Yunkish freedmen, their voice in Dany’s councils.
“We have no captives but this wineseller?”
“None, this one grieves to confess. We beg your pardon.”
Mercy, thought Dany. They will have the dragon’s mercy. “Skahaz, I have changed my mind. Question the man sharply.”
“It was a cruel fate, Yet not so cruel as Mago's will be. I promise you that, by the old gods and the new, by the lamb god and the horse god and every god that lives. I swear by the Mother of Mountains and the Womb of the World. Before I am done with them, Mago and Ko Jhaqo will plead for the mercy they showed Eroeh.”― Daenerys ADWD
Dany even cares about her enemies. She is merciful to people that attack her:
When she told him, the boy rushed at her, but his feet tangled in his tokar and he went sprawling headlong on the purple marble. Strong Belwas was on him at once. The huge brown eunuch yanked him up one-handed and shook him like a mastiff with a rat. “Enough, Belwas,” Dany called. “Release him.” To the boy she said, “Treasure that tokar, for it saved your life. You are only a boy, so we will forget what happened here. You should do the same.” - Daenerys I ADWD
“We are all dead, then. You gave us death, not freedom.” Ghael leapt to his feet and spat into her face.
Strong Belwas seized him by the shoulder and slammed him down onto the marble so hard that Dany heard Ghael’s teeth crack. The Shavepate would have done worse, but she stopped him.
“Enough,” she said, dabbing at her cheek with the end of her tokar. “No one has ever died from spittle. Take him away.” – Daenerys III ADWD
She prompts time and time again that she has no slaves, and that those who follow are are free to leave her at any time.
“Your slave Missandei.” Jhiqui had a taper in her hand.
“My servant. I have no slaves.” – Daenerys ADWD
Dany fights against slavery. As soon as she gains any power, she starts freeing slaves:
“You will be my khalasar,” she told them. “I see the faces of slaves. I free you. Take off your collars. Go if you wish, no one shall harm you. […]” - Daenerys X ADWD
The first thing she does when Missandei is given to her is to set her free, and tell her that she can leave if she wishes:
"Missandei is no longer a slave. I free you, from this instant. Come ride with me in the litter, I wish to talk.” Rakharo helped them in, and Dany drew the curtains shut against the dust and heat. “If you stay with me you will serve as one of my handmaids,” she said as they set off. “I shall keep you by my side to speak for me as you spoke for Kraznys. But you may leave my service whenever you choose, if you have father or mother you would sooner return to.” - Daenerys III ASOS
And when Missandei’s brother dies, Dany comforts Missandei and offers to send her home again:
“As he loved you.” Dany stroked the girl’s hair. “Say the word, my sweet, and I will send you from this awful place. I will find a ship somehow and send you home. To Naath.” - Daenerys II ADWD
When Dany sees Astapor, she is deeply affected by the suffering of the slaves:
“Make way!” Jhogo shouted as he rode before her litter. “Make way for the Mother of Dragons!” But when he uncoiled the great silver-handled whip that Dany had given him, and made to crack it in the air, she leaned out and told him nay. “Not in this place, blood of my blood,” she said, in his own tongue. “These bricks have heard too much of the sound of whips.” - Daenerys II ASOS
He stopped before a thickset man who had the look of Lhazar about him and brought his whip up sharply, laying a line of blood across one copper cheek. The eunuch blinked, and stood there, bleeding. “Would you like another?” asked Kraznys.
“If it please your worship.”
It was hard to pretend not to understand. Dany laid a hand on Kraznys’s arm before he could raise the whip again. “Tell the Good Master that I see how strong his Unsullied are, and how bravely they suffer pain.” - Daenerys II ASOS
And she cares even about the lives of the masters and their children:
“More will die unless the murderers are punished.” […]
“How can I punish them when I do not know who they are?” Dany demanded of him. “Tell me that, bold Skahaz.” - Daenerys I ADWD
“Magnificence,” murmured Reznak mo Reznak, “we cannot know that these great nobles mean to join your enemies. More like they are simply making for their estates in the hills.”
“They will not mind us keeping their gold safe, then. There is nothing to buy in the hills.”
“They are afraid for their children,” Reznak said.
Yes, Daenerys thought, and so am I. “We must keep them safe as well. I will have two children from each of them. From the other pyramids as well. A boy and a girl.” - Daenerys II ADWD
Dany pushed her food about her plate. She dare not glance over to where Grazhar and Qezza stood, for fear that she might cry. The Shavepate has a harder heart than mine. They had fought about the hostages half a dozen times. “The Sons of the Harpy are laughing in their pyramids,” Skahaz said, just this morning. “What good are hostages if you will not take their heads?” In his eyes, she was only a weak woman. Hazzea was enough. What good is peace if it must be purchased with the blood of little children? “These murders are not their doing,” Dany told the Green Grace, feebly. “I am no butcher queen.” - Daenerys IV ADWD
“If he is not the Harpy, he knows him. I can find the truth of that easy enough. Give me your leave to put Hizdahr to the question, and I will bring you a confession.”
“No,” she said. “I do not trust these confessions. You’ve brought me too many of them, all of them worthless.”
“Your Radiance—”
“No, I said.” - Daenerys V ADWD
Dany studied the scroll. All the ruling families of Meereen were named: Hazkar, Merreq, Quazzar, Zhak, Rhazdar, Ghazeen, Pahl, even Reznak and Loraq. “What am I to do with a list of names?”
“Every man on that list has kin within the city. Sons and brothers, wives and daughters, mothers and fathers. Let my Brazen Beasts seize them. Their lives will win you back those ships.”
“If I send the Brazen Beasts into the pyramids, it will mean open war inside the city. I have to trust in Hizdahr. I have to hope for peace.” Dany held the parchment above a candle and watched the names go up in flame, while Skahaz glowered at her. - Daenerys V ADWD
At the end of the day, in Daenerys’ core, she wants to help people who cannot help themselves. She wants to make sure what happened to her doesn’t happen to anyone else. She wants to end slavery because she knows what it feels like to be a slave and have no voice or choice in your life.
She’s constantly thinking about her people who need her.
“I fear no ghosts. Dragons are more powerful than ghosts.” And figs are more important. - Daenerys I ACOK
Dany gave him charge of a dozen of her strongest men, and set them to pulling up the plaza to get to the earth beneath. If devilgrass could grow between the paving stones, other grasses would grow when the stones were gone. They had wells enough, no lack of water. Given seed, they could make the plaza bloom. - Daenerys I ACOK
Inside Meereen the slavers would soon be reclining in their fringed tokars to feast on lamb and olives, unborn puppies, honeyed dormice and other such delicacies, whilst outside her children went hungry. A sudden wild anger filled her. I will bring you down, she swore. - Daenerys V ASOS
If Daario could convince the Lhazarene to reopen the overland trade routes, grains could be brought down the river or over the hills at need … but the Lamb Men had no reason to love Meereen. - Daenerys I ADWD
“Not a hole. A ditch, to bring water from the river to the fields. We mean to plant beans. The beanfields must have water.” - Daenerys III ADWD
“You spoke of help. Trade with me, then. Meereen has salt to sell, and wine …” - Daenerys
Ser Barristan remained. “Our stores are ample for the moment,” he reminded her, “and Your Grace has planted beans and grapes and wheat. Your Dothraki have harried the slavers from the hills and struck the shackles from their slaves. They are planting too, and will be bringing their crops to Meereen to market. And you will have the friendship of Lhazar.” - Daenerys V ADWD
What kind of mother has no milk to feed her children? - Daenerys VI ADWD
And even when Dany is starving and sick in the Dothraki sea, she’s still trying to return to her people to take care of them:
It was time, though. A girl might spend her life at play, but she was a woman grown, a queen, a wife, a mother to thousands. Her children had need of her. - Daenerys X ADWD
She’s willing to put her life on the line to help others. In the books when a sickness comparable to the plague hits her city, bitch goes out into the streets of Mereen and fucking BATHES the sick while Barristan and one of her Unsullied tell her repeatedly that they should leave.
Dany walked right past him. There was an old man on the ground a few feet away, moaning and staring up at the grey belly of the clouds. She knelt beside him, wrinkling her nose at the smell, and pushed back his dirty grey hair to feel his brow. “His flesh is on fire. I need water to bathe him. Seawater will serve. Marselen, will you fetch some for me? I need oil as well, for the pyre. Who will help me burn the dead?”
By the time Aggo returned with Grey Worm and fifty of the Unsullied loping behind his horse, Dany had shamed all of them into helping her. – Daenerys VI ADWD
She wants to keep her people safe.
Safe. The word made Dany’s eyes fill up with tears. “I want to keep you safe.” Missandei was only a child. With her, she felt as if she could be a child too. “No one ever kept me safe when I was little. Well, Ser Willem did, but then he died, and Viserys … I want to protect you but … it is so hard. To be strong. I don’t always know what I should do. I must know, though. I am all they have. I am the queen … the … the …” - Daenerys II ADWD
Gods, she prayed, you took Khal Drogo, who was my sun-and-stars. You took our valiant son before he drew a breath. You have had your blood of me. Help me now, I pray you. Give me the wisdom to see the path ahead and the strength to do what I must to keep my children safe. - Daenerys V ADWD
“If battle is joined, let Grey Worm show wisdom as well as valor,” Dany told him. “Spare any slave who runs or throws down his weapon. The fewer slain, the more remain to join us after.” - Daenerys IV ASOS
She refuses to turn her back on people in need.
“It shall be done, Magnificence,” said Reznak mo Reznak. “What of these Astapori?”
My children. “They are coming here for help. For succor and protection. We cannot turn our backs on them.” - Daenerys V ADWD
“Mouths on feet. And sick, you say?” Reznak wrung his hands. “Your Worship must not allow them in the city.”
“I wouldn’t,” said Brown Ben Plumm. “I’m no maester, mind you, but I know you got to keep the bad apples from the good.”
“These are not apples, Ben,” said Dany. “These are men and women, sick and hungry and afraid.” My children. - Daenerys V ADWD
Even feeding them had grown difficult. Every day she sent them what she could, but every day there were more of them and less food to give them. It was growing harder to find drivers willing to deliver the food as well. Too many of the men they had sent into the camp had been stricken by the flux themselves. Others had been attacked on the way back to the city. Yesterday a wagon had been overturned and two of her soldiers killed, so today the queen had determined that she would bring the food herself. Every one of her advisors had argued fervently against it, from Reznak and the Shavepate to Ser Barristan, but Daenerys would not be moved. “I will not turn away from them,” she said stubbornly. “A queen must know the sufferings of her people.” - Daenerys VI ADWD
She had tried to do what she could for them. She had sent them healers, Blue Graces and spell-singers and barber-surgeons, but some of those had sickened as well, and none of their arts had slowed the galloping progression of the flux that had come on the pale mare. – Daenerys VI ADWD
Many shat where they slept now, too feeble to crawl to the ditches she’d commanded them to dig. – Daenerys VI ADWD
“They are too feeble,” said Symon Stripeback.
Dany said, “More food might make them stronger.”
Symon shook his head. “Food should not be wasted on the dying, Your Worship. We do not have enough to feed the living.”
He was not wrong, she knew, but that did not make the words any easier to hear. “This is far enough,” the queen decided. “We’ll feed them here.” – Daenerys VI ADWD
Her wish for peace comes from not wanting to see bloodshed, from wanting to protect her people, and from thinking of all the people she failed to save:
Much of the talk about the table was of the matches to be fought upon the morrow. […] No queen has clean hands, Dany told herself. She thought of Doreah, of Quaro, of Eroeh … of a little girl she had never met, whose name had been Hazzea. Better a few should die in the pit than thousands at the gates. This is the price of peace, I pay it willingly. If I look back, I am lost. - Daenerys VIII ADWD
When she sees injustice, she puts a stop to it immediately. She saves Tyrion and Penny while others simply saw them as disposable people there to die for their entertainment:
Dany was not pleased. “I forbid it.”
“Gentle queen. You do not want to disappoint your people.”
“You swore to me that the fighters would be grown men who had freely consented to risk their lives for gold and honor. These dwarfs did not consent to battle lions with wooden swords. You will stop it. Now.” - Daenerys IX ADWD
She has a wonderful military mind as well. She shows off her intelligence especially when she sacks one of the cities from the inside out, something I think they let Daario have because once again, Men. But anyways, she’s really smart and so intelligent. 
Dany cares about the lives of the Unsullied when no one else does. When Daario suggests that the Unsullied should attack the walls of Meereen under boiling oil because they feel no pain, Dany refuses, and tries to suggest a plan to avoid bloodshed.
Dany sighed. “I will not throw away Unsullied lives, Grey Worm. Perhaps we can starve the city out.” - Daenerys V ASOS
“A queen must listen to all,” she reminded him. “The highborn and the low, the strong and the weak, the noble and the venal. One voice may speak you false, but in many there is always truth to be found.” – Daenerys I ASOS
Dany insists on not turning away from the horrors in her way, and insists on personally seeing them. When the masters of Meereen crucify the children, Dany cares about them, and insists that she must see them:
Leading her van, Daario had given orders for the children to be taken down before Dany had to see them, but she had countermanded him as soon as she was told. “I will see them,” she said. “I will see every one, and count them, and look upon their faces. And I will remember.” - Daenerys V ASOS
When one of her soldiers is killed by the Sons of the Harpy, Dany cares, and insists that she must see him:
“Your Grace,” said Ser Barristan Selmy, the lord commander of her Queensguard, “there is no need for you to see this.”“He died for me.” - Daenerys I ADWD
Daenerys is very self sacrificial.
Dany is someone who is constantly ready to sacrifice herself for others. She is willing to stand up for other people and take risks to protect others from the very beginning, even before she becomes queen in her own right, before she her own power.
When Drogo attacks the Lhazareen, and Dany sees the horrors of war and what Drogo is doing to take the Iron Throne for their son, Dany stands up for the Lhazareen women, stopping the rape, and earning the enmity of Drogo’s men. She risks her life by going against them (and later, after Dany keeps defying them and defying taboos, they do try to kill her):
When she was done, Drogo was frowning. “This is the way of war. These women are our slaves now, to do with as we please.”
“It pleases me to hold them safe,” Dany said, wondering if she had dared too much. “If your warriors would mount these women, let them take them gently and keep them for wives. Give them places in the khalasar and let them bear you sons.” - Daenerys VII AGOT
“No,” Dany said. “I will not have her harmed.”
Qotho’s lips skinned back from his crooked brown teeth in a terrible mockery of a smile. “No? You say me no? Better you should pray that we do not stake you out beside your maegi. You did this, as much as the other.” - Daenerys VIII AGOT
When Drogo becomes sick, even though Dany is afraid, she tells herself that she would sacrifice herself for him:
“Death?” Dany wrapped her arms around herself protectively, rocked back and forth on her heels. “My death?” She told herself she would die for him, if she must. She was the blood of the dragon, she would not be afraid. Her brother Rhaegar had died for the woman he loved. - Daenerys VIII AGOT
When Dany is travelling through the Red Waste with her people, she doesn’t claim any privileges, and goes hungry and thirsty with her people:
Dany hungered and thirsted with the rest of them. The milk in her breasts dried up, her nipples cracked and bled, and the flesh fell away from her day by day until she was lean and hard as a stick, yet it was her dragons she feared for. -Daenerys I ACOK
Once again, Dany puts her life in danger to help people, this time to free slaves, even though Dany is afraid (if her plan didn’t work, she and her people would have died):
If I look back I am lost, Dany told herself the next morning as she entered Astapor through the harbor gates. She dared not remind herself how small and insignificant her following truly was, or she would lose all courage. - Daenerys III ASOS
When Dany frees the slaves in Astapor, she lets them follow her, even though they are more of a burden:
The raggle-taggle host of freedmen dwarfed her own, but they were more burden than benefit. Perhaps one in a hundred had a donkey, a camel, or an ox; most carried weapons looted from some slaver’s armory, but only one in ten was strong enough to fight, and none was trained. They ate the land bare as they passed, like locusts in sandals. Yet Dany could not bring herself to abandon them as Ser Jorah and her bloodriders urged. I told them they were free. I cannot tell them now they are not free to join me. She gazed at the smoke rising from their cookfires and swallowed a sigh. She might have the best footsoldiers in the world, but she also had the worst. - Daenerys IV ASOS
Even though Dany wants to sail to Westeros, Dany constantly chooses to sacrifice her goals in order to stay in Slaver’s Bay and take care of her people:
“There is nothing to stay for,” said Brown Ben Plumm.
“Your Grace, the slavers brought their doom on themselves,” said Daario Naharis.
“You have brought freedom as well,” Missandei pointed out.
“Freedom to starve?” asked Dany sharply. “Freedom to die? Am I a dragon, or a harpy?” Am I mad? Do I have the taint?
“A dragon,” Ser Barristan said with certainty. “Meereen is not Westeros, Your Grace.”
“But how can I rule seven kingdoms if I cannot rule a single city?” He had no answer to that. Dany turned away from them, to gaze out over the city once again. “My children need time to heal and learn. My dragons need time to grow and test their wings. And I need the same. I will not let this city go the way of Astapor. I will not let the harpy of Yunkai chain up those I’ve freed all over again.” She turned back to look at their faces. “I will not march.”
“What will you do then, Khaleesi?” asked Rakharo.
“Stay,” she said. “Rule. And be a queen.” - Daenerys VI ASOS
When Xaro offers her ships to go to Westeros, Dany refuses again:
“Enough.” Dany slapped the table. “No one will be left to die. You are all my people.” Her dreams of home and love had blinded her. “I will not abandon Meereen to the fate of Astapor. It grieves me to say so, but Westeros must wait.” - Daenerys III ADWD
Dany agrees to marry a man she hates and sacrifices her happiness for the sake of her people:
… but Daenerys Targaryen had other children, tens of thousands who had hailed her as their mother when she broke their chains. She thought of Stalwart Shield, of Missandei’s brother, of the woman Rylona Rhee, who had played the harp so beautifully. No marriage would ever bring them back to life, but if a husband could help end the slaughter, then she owed it to her dead to marry. - Daenerys IV ADWD
“It is not,” she agreed, “but it is important to me that you should understand. My people are bleeding. Dying. A queen belongs not to herself, but to the realm. Marriage or carnage, those are my choices. A wedding or a war.” - Daenerys IV ADWD
When Dany is offered yet another choice to go to Westeros, and this time with a powerful alliance with Dorne, Dany sacrifices this for her people and still decides to marry Hizdahr:
“It would please me if he had turned up with these fifty thousand swords he speaks of. Instead he brings two knights and a parchment. Will a parchment shield my people from the Yunkai'i? If he had come with a fleet …”
“Sunspear has never been a sea power, Your Grace.”
“No.” Dany knew enough of Westerosi history to know that. Nymeria had landed ten thousand ships upon Dorne’s sandy shores, but when she wed her Dornish prince she had burned them all and turned her back upon the sea forever. “Dorne is too far away. To please this prince, I would need to abandon all my people. You should send him home.” - Daenerys VIII ADWD
And when Dany marries Hizdahr and has her wedding night with him, we see just how much she is sacrificing her happiness:
Dany flinched. “Who is there?”
“Only Missandei.” The Naathi scribe moved closer to the bed. “This one heard you crying.”
“Crying? I was not crying. Why would I cry? I have my peace, I have my king, I have everything a queen might wish for. You had a bad dream, that was all.” – Daenerys VIII ADWD
This willingness to self sacrifice that Dany has is tied not only to the fact that she cares about people, but also to the fact that she sees taking care of her people and protecting them as her duty as queen. We can see, in several moments, how Dany is both self-sacrificing and dutiful, and how she is constantly being self critical and reminding herself of her duties as a queen:
“I was alone for a long time, Jorah. All alone but for my brother. I was such a small scared thing. Viserys should have protected me, but instead he hurt me and scared me worse. He shouldn’t have done that. He wasn’t just my brother, he was my king. Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?”
“Some kings make themselves. Robert did.”
“He was no true king,” Dany said scornfully. “He did no justice. Justice … that’s what kings are for.” - Daenerys III ASOS
Dany would gladly have sent the rest of the petitioners away … but she was still their queen, so she heard them out and did her best to give them justice. - Daenerys III ADWD
“Your Grace could not have known—”
“I am the queen. It was my place to know.” - Daenerys V ADWD
A queen belongs not to herself but to her people. - Daenerys V ADWD
“A queen must know the sufferings of her people.” - Daenerys VI ADWD
She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself. - Daenerys IX ADWD
It was time, though. A girl might spend her life at play, but she was a woman grown, a queen, a wife, a mother to thousands. Her children had need of her. Drogon had bent before the whip, and so must she. She had to don her crown again and return to her ebon bench and the arms of her noble husband. - Daenerys X ADWD
So yeah. I probably forgot something but... I really truly with everything inside me love the fuck out of her. 
it’s time for a sleepover!
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ellewritesathing · 4 years
Text
So Close - S.S. XIV
Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.
Prologue - S2E1 Part 1 - S2E2 + S2E3 Part 2 - S2E4 + S2E5 + S2E6 Part 3 -  S2E7 +S2E8 Part 4 - S2E9 + S2E10 Part 5 - S2E11 + S2E12 Part 6 Part 7 - S3AE1 Part 8 - S3AE2 + S3AE3 Part 9 - S3AE4 Part 10 - S3AE5 + S3AE6 Part 11 - S3AE7 + S3AE8 Part 12 - S3AE9 + S3AE10 + S3AE11 Part 13 - S3AE11 + S3AE12 Part 14
Word-count: 2.8k+
A/N: Okay so I get that in order to expand the cast, the producers need to cut other characters out so they can include new ones and stay in their budget. And I’ve kept this rewrite pretty close to canon so far ... but now we’re throwing parts of it out the window. Enjoy!!
(Also there’s a swearword near the end if you need the warning 💗)
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You woke up with a pounding in your head and a racing in your chest. You sat up and took some deep, shaky breaths. A hand snaked around your waist and you felt the covers shift as Stiles moved. 
“What are you doing up?” he asked softly. “It’s late.” 
“I- I had another bad dream,” you said, still in a slight daze. You held his hand as you looked around. You couldn’t remember when you came over tonight. “Stiles?” 
He stopped tracing patterns on your arm to press a kiss to the side of it. “Yeah?” 
“Why is your door open?” 
“My door? What does my door matter?” 
“What if your dad sees us?” you asked, pushing back the covers and getting up. “Sure, I know I’m his favorite and all, but I don’t think he’d take too kindly to our little arrangement.” 
“He’s not even here,” Stiles said. He didn’t sound tired so much as he sounded annoyed. “So come back to bed, alright?” 
“Where is he?” you frowned. He came up with a vague excuse about where Noah was and then shook his head. It didn’t matter, he said. “Well, if it doesn’t matter then I’m just gonna close the door while I’m up, okay?” 
“Y/N, would you just leave the damn door and get back into bed?” Stiles asked. His voice was slightly too harsh to be considered playful or to be written off as grumpy from being woken up. You took a step back. “God, I didn’t- I’m sorry. Please? Just leave it alone.” 
For a second you thought about leaving it alone, but you couldn’t shake the feeling it gave you. You turned and closed the door swiftly, sending Stiles a smile when you were done but you didn’t get that far. Your hand burned as soon as you touched the doorknob, like you’d touched hot iron. And when you did close the door, it felt like your whole body was on fire. 
Stiles wasn’t there when you woke up again - you weren’t even in his room anymore - but someone was holding you. And judging by the chipped black nail polish, it was Cora. You took a deep breath and tried to move her hands without waking her up. 
But she was a light sleeper. Her grip tightened when she noticed you were moving. “What are you doing?” 
You gave up on being gentle and lifted her arms and pushed yourself to a sitting position. “You know the reason why there’s an extra mattress in here is so you have your own bed, right?” 
“You don’t remember what happened last night, do you?” Cora sat up next to you and you pulled your legs to her chest while she let hers stretch out under the covers. 
“Of course I do,” you lied. “I’m not crazy.” 
“So you remember when you sat up screaming?” Cora asked. “When I couldn’t get you to stop, so Scott, Isaac, and Melissa all came to see what was wrong? When you wouldn’t answer anyone? And when you did finally stop, you just collapsed back into the bed? I’m pretty sure you bit Isaac at some point but he-”
“Stop,” you said quietly. “Please.”
Cora took a deep breath and you felt her move closer and rub your back. “Do you remember any of that?” 
You shook your head. 
“What do you remember?” 
Your heart skipped a beat. Sure, you and Cora had become a lot closer over the two weeks she’d been living with you, but were you really about to tell her that the last thing you remember was sleeping with Stiles? 
“I don’t know,” you lied. “I just- just want to take a shower and forget about this. Can you tell Scott that I’m fine and my mom…” you paused. Melissa didn’t know the depth of what you had to do to find her that night. “And tell my mom I …”
“Got it,” Cora gave you a small smile. “Go shower.”
---
“Come on,” Isaac said. “It’ll be fun.” 
“No.” You closed your locker and looked over at him leaning against the one next to yours. You couldn’t help the weird deja vu that overcame you when having this conversation. “I told you that I don’t care if you date Cora, but I don’t want to see it.” 
“But you don’t have to watch us!” Isaac whined. You rolled your eyes and started walking away, and you heard him scramble to follow you. “And plus, it won’t just be me and Cora. Ethan and Danny will be there-” 
“I don’t like Ethan.” 
“- Lydia and Aiden are coming.” 
“Ditto for Aiden. And Lydia and I’ve barely spoken these past few weeks.” 
“Okay, uh … Allison’s gonna be there. And Scott probably.”
“You think I wanna see Scott and Allison make awkward conversation for three hours?” you asked. 
“Stiles will be there.” 
You sucked in a breath and turned to look at him, which almost made him topple into you. “Excuse me?” 
“I just meant- you know, if you still … have feelings for the guy … this might be a good opportunity to-” Isaac rambled, becoming increasingly quieter with every second that you glared at him. “Okay, you know what? If you don’t come, I’m just gonna tell Melissa what you did.” 
“If you tell my mom anything, I will-” the ringing bell drowned out your threat, but judging by the pale color Isaac turned, you’d guess he got your point. “Got it?” 
“Yeah, totally,” he exhaled. “Totally. So, um, it’s at seven and we all, like, live together so we’ll pick you up at six-thirty, okay?” He started backing away before you could yell at him. “Have fun in English!” 
You shook your head as you watched his retreat to his Algebra II class. When you turned to start walking, you found Cora right next to you and jumped. “Okay, what’s with you Hales and sneaking up on people?” 
“What?” Cora laughed. “I didn’t sneak up on you.” 
“Uh, yeah, you did,” you said, walking into the classroom and sliding into your seat before you were late. 
“So what was all that about in the hallway?” Cora asked. Subtlety was a skill she had yet to perfect.
“Isaac wants me to go on your date with you,” you answered. 
Cora rolled her eyes. “And I’m sure that’s exactly how he phrased it.” 
“Yeah, I mean I know wolves aren’t strictly monogamous but I didn’t think-” your joke got cut short by the teacher clearing their throat a few feet in front of you. 
“Ms. McCall, Ms. Hale,” they started. “Would you like to share with the rest of us why you’re discussing the mating rituals of animals that haven’t been in California for years?” 
“Uh … no?” 
“Detention it is.” 
---
You smiled proudly at the stack of books that you’d just shelved and sighed when you remembered that you still had at least three more carts to go. At least Scott and Stiles had detention too, but they always had detention so that was hardly a surprise. What was a surprise was that Isaac was there too. He told you that when he heard Cora had detention, it just slipped his mind that he wasn’t supposed to show up to class fifteen minutes late and slurping a Big Gulp. 
It was honestly kind of sickening to watch them across the room. They had this unspoken rhythm of shelving and sorting books, barely having to look at one another to get the job done. But they did look at each other. A lot. And they whispered to each other constantly. 
“That’s disgusting,” Stiles said next to you. You looked over to him and he jutted his chin in Cora and Isaac’s direction. “They’ve been going out for like three minutes and they’re practically all over each other.” 
“Actually, three weeks, two days, and eighteen hours,” you corrected. He raised an eyebrow and you continued, “It’s worse when you live with them because then knowledge like that gets burned into your brain.”
Stiles laughed and pulled a face. “That’s brutal. It must be super weird when your best friends start dating.” He looked over to where Scott was before looking back at you.
“It’s sweet and adorable, but it also makes me want to throw up,” you joked. “You know they want me to go ice-skating with them on Friday? Like some weird group date?” 
Stiles laughed but he stiffened slightly. “Are they like, you know, setting you up with some new werewolf in town?” 
“If they were, it’d be better than being the-” you pretended to count on your fingers “-ninth wheel? Hey, do you think it’s weird that we all our friends date each other?”
“So you’re not going?” Stiles asked. 
You frowned slightly. It wasn’t like him to be so focused on Cora and Isaac that he’d pass up the opportunity to complain about being one of the only group members who wasn’t dating someone. 
“Uh, no. No, I don’t think so.” You shook your head and started shelving the books that were still on his cart. “They’re pretty persistent though so I’ll probably end up there anyway.” 
“Right, right. Cool, cool, cool,” Stiles mumbled, nodding away as he spoke. 
“So are you going to help me with all this or just keep standing there?” you asked. 
“Uh, help you?” 
“Bingo. And you say you can’t pick up on subtext,” you teased. 
“Haha. Shut up.” 
You pulled a face but soon the two of you had sorted through the first cart of books. Stiles must have had a rough night because there were a few times where he’d pick up a book and just stare at it like he wasn’t sure what it was. Eventually, the two of you managed to get through your workloads and - after an awkward goodbye - parted ways to head home. 
---
You’d just about given up on enjoying this ‘fun night spent ice skating’ after almost an hour. You had been perfectly content to spend the night at home, catching up on homework and eating junk food, when Cora threw some clothes at you and told you to get dressed. She said that the smell of your teenage angst was annoying her and you needed to get out of the house. 
So that’s how you ended up sitting on the sidelines after skating around the rink awkwardly, while Allison did her best to teach Scott and Lydia was showing off her edge jumps.
“Doesn’t look like you’re enjoying your group date so much.” You looked up to find Stiles standing next to you, ice skates in hand. 
“Yeah, turns out group dates are a lot more fun if you actually have a date. Who knew?” you said. Stiles laughed and sat next to you, his knee knocking your leg slightly in the process. “So what are you doing here?” 
“What, a guy can’t just feel the need to ice skate at 8pm on a Friday night?” he asked as he laced up his skates. He rolled his eyes at the look you gave him in response. “Well, they needed the key I copied when Boyd worked here to get in and … and then Lydia called me.” 
“Oh.” The ease that was there before faded and you nodded quickly. You watched her land a jump and Aiden cheer her on.
“She said you looked kinda lonely and that she doubted you’d want to spend time with her and Aiden,” Stiles explained. Lydia saw you watching her and stopped skating for a minute. She waved at you and sent you a small smile. “So she asked if I wanted to, you know, keep you company.”
“She did?” 
“Yeah. She said not to tell you though, so if she asks-” 
“Then I didn’t hear it from you,” you said quietly. You lifted your hand and waved back at her, telling Stiles that you’d be right back. 
When Lydia saw you step on the ice, she started skating over to you and you carried on in her direction. You enveloped each other in what was quite possibly the messiest hug that the ice rink had ever seen and laughed. 
“I’m so sorry about what happened, babe,” Lydia said when she pulled away. “I don’t know what I was thinking. He was just panicking so badly and nothing was-” 
“I shouldn’t have avoided you for so long. It was immature.” You squeezed her hand. “You’re one of my best friends, Lyd. And I love you. And this was all so-” 
“Stupid, I know!” Lydia laughed. “But I didn’t know how to talk to you about it because you’re-” 
“Sensitive and weird and just-” you took a deep breath. “We’re good, okay?” 
“Okay,” Lydia smiled. “And I love you too, just so you know.” 
---
“Ow!” Stiles complained and reached for the cut on his forehead. You smacked his hand away. 
“Don’t touch it,” you said. You listened to him complain as you finished cleaning his forehead. 
“You know this is all your fault, right?” he said. “If you didn’t try to do that twirl thing-” 
“That you told me to do.” 
“-Then I never would’ve tried to catch you-” 
“Which was your idea.” 
“-And we never would’ve crashed into the ice with you using my head as a shield!” Stiles finished, dropping his hands dramatically to his side. You put a bandaid on his forehead and looked at him. 
“Are you done yet?” you asked, closing the first aid kit. 
He stopped kicking his legs underneath himself and looked at you from where he sat on the bathroom counter. “I don’t know. It was kind of fun wallowing,” he said, looking over at you with pretended sadness in his eyes.
You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Well, if it counts for anything, I had a lot of fun before accidentally maiming you.”
“So you admit that it’s your fault?” He nudged you with his foot. 
“Uh, no way,” you said dramatically, getting closer to him so you could poke his chest as you continued, “You were the one that said regular skating was boring. You were the one that wanted to try twirls and jumps. You were the one that did this.” 
Stiles laughed and caught your hand before you poke his chest again. “So what if it is my fault?” he asked. 
Your heart sped up. “Well, then you’ve gotta make it up to me,” you said softly. “I don’t get bruised for just anyone.” 
“And how should I make it up to you?” He was leaning closer and it felt like your heart was about to explode in your chest. 
“You could …” you trailed off and held your breath slightly. When you heard someone bang on the door, you jumped and pulled your hand away. In the instant that it took you to pull away, you saw the moments from your dreams flash before your eyes. The moments when you hurt your friends - when hurt Stiles. Those were still just dreams, right?
“Hey, guys, we should really be heading back,” you heard Scott say from the other side. “It’s getting late.” 
“Uh, yeah!” Stiles called back. “Yeah, buddy, we’ll be right out.” 
You had one arm wrapped around yourself and your other hand holding onto your necklace, keeping it close to your face. Your cheeks felt hot and you felt like it would be less painful if the earth opened up and swallowed you whole. 
“So, uh-” Stiles hopped off the counter. “Where were we?” 
He had a goofy smile on his face as he came closer, ready to hold you close and probably make out with you in the dirty bathroom of the local ice rink. 
“Stiles, I don’t think I can do this,” you blurted out. “I keep having these dreams where- where I’m hurting you. Maybe not always you specifically, but they’re really bad and I-” 
“It’s okay.” He stopped and let his arms fall to his sides. “I get it.”
“No, it’s not like that,” you persisted. “I really like you but I’m so scared that I’ll hurt you.” 
“Yeah, it’s a little late for that,” he said. “Uh, thanks for the medical attention but I’m gonna head out.” 
“Stiles-” 
But he was already out the door. You watched it slam shut behind him and took a deep, shaky breath. You put the first aid kit away and tried to process what just happened. 
Stiles Stilinski, whom you’d been in love with practically your entire life, just tried to kiss. And you were going to kiss him back. But then you rejected him because you had been monumentally fucked up since dying to save your mom a few weeks before. Was that it? Was that your life now? You couldn’t even kiss a cute boy without being reminded of the weight of the world on your shoulders? Great.
Part 15
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lostadrianda · 4 years
Text
The house of wolves
Part II
Ссылка на русскую версию: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8551009
I move on along the familiar path. My feet are dragging themselves. I’m getting closer to the aim. I know it, but I won't admit it to myself. I bend the branches of trees that block the road. I scratch my foot on some sticks and don't even pay much attention. My head is spinning… Yes, but no wonder, with such a life it is easy to go mad, it was I who held on for a long time. The noise gets louder. I go to it — the most accurate reference point. It's already rumbling in my ears. I climb up on a black rock, my foot slides a little, but I hold on, jumping on until I reach the edge. The water breaks down, whipping up white foam. Small drops keep falling on my skin. I shiver from the cold. And the answer is so simple. Waiting for five years is, of course, a very long time. I should have met you then, Death. You know, you too have the power to defeat the Fox. But you keep waiting and taking only my loved ones. Here I am! Maybe you needed me all this time.
The river breaks on sharp rocks. It pulls leaves and small twigs down with it. I can't look away. And my heart is so calm… I can't remember the last time this happened to me. I can still control something in my life. What's the difference? A month or two, they'll be done with me soon anyway.
"Have you decided to go down?"
I look back at the voice. Among the spruce branches, the guy stands, only his skin turns white. I look at him and give him some time. Everyone recognize me. But he doesn't say anything. Too bad, I'd like to get this over with.
"Are you a son of the Tsar's?"
"I am. Since when is it customary to talk to traitors?”
Come on, you know what to do. Are you too young and not brave enough yet? No, you're about my age. The guy steps forward.
“I was trained to shoot traitors like mad dogs”.
“Then why do you hesitate?"
“You're not a traitor".
My foot slides down and I have to jump off the rocks. I haven't heard anything like this in a long time. I squint my eyes and can't find any good words.
“Who are you?"
"Go back, or they'll start looking for you in the camp. Tomorrow at dawn, come to the house on the edge of the forest”.
“Why would I do that?"
“What else can you do?"
The grass under my feet rustles, clinging. I turn deeper into the dark trees, and the guy still stands there and looks at me. Where did he come from? Is it possible that someone sent by the Fox wants to check me out? Then I should stay away. But the guy is right, even though he knows nothing about me. What else can I do?
I lay there all night with my head up. Highlights move on the walls of the tent and some vague shadows appear. The camp life is not easy. While we were in the houses, not everything went smoothly either. But here it is unsettling. You are never alone; somebody all the time is keeping an eye on you. You can't hide. And if our camp has already been found and they decide to attack at night, they will kill everyone. The whole life is in constant fear. I thought I got used to it. I turn over from side to side and listen. All the sounds seem to be strange to me. The mind is inflamed, irritated by feelings. It's overreacting to everything now. I don't like these woods. I may not know much about the Islands, but I've heard that there are scary creatures here. I close my eyes. It feels like the world is swaying. I hear the drops begin to hit the tent, one at first, and then dozens, and the trickles run down. I’m about to fall asleep, but thoughts don’t let go. I'll have to leave early tomorrow because of this weather. If only it would be quiet by morning. I don't want to get wet from head to toe. For some reason, of all the troubles, this is the only one that bothers me. People may be digging a hole for me and I'm worried about the rain. But I'm tired of thinking about other things. I'll take my rifle with me, and then come what may come.
Drops clatter… A little quieter, but the storm does not calm down. And it hits the leaves of the trees; you'll see all the fires will be extinguished. Tomorrow the camp will be filled with mud. They can see my tracks, too... that's enough, that's enough with me. Strange, it turns out, I still want to live. I'm still hoping for something. Probably, you can never break it in a person. Why the dream is not…
The first bird screams somewhere. In the morning, drops hang on the needles of fir trees. I brush my shoulder against them as I pass. Everything is silver, and the air is damp. There is no sun yet, but it is already light, and the sky is as smoky as all the days before. How can you tell when it's dawn? A rifle is slung over my shoulder. It keeps hitting my back and I pull it closer to me. A little out of the woods, and on a hillock you can see the house. It is an old, low house that goes into the ground. I am about to get up to it.
“Your sister came to us before she disappeared”.
I turn around. All the way I thought I was being followed by someone from the camp. I thought the Fox was watching. But no, it is the same guy. His eyes are as light as the sky, but his gaze is heavy. And everything about him is so... right. He's not one of the squads, he's local. Too used to everything. He doesn't carry a weapon. And while we were standing on the Islands, one thought each of the camp learned well: a man without a weapon here is more dangerous than ten to the teeth stuffed.
“Why would she need you?" — I say 'you' and I wonder who they are. My sister didn't trust people easily.
“She had to hide something. Something your chief needs so much, that he has thrown all his forces to that place. But he can't find it without your sister”.
So, she went to the teachers, those who govern the Islands. She is a smart girl.
“The Fox, like everyone else in the camp, thinks she's dead”.
“The Fox is more afraid of your sister than of fire. And he'll never forgive you for saving her, do you hear? He prays that she is dead, even though he doesn't believe in any of the gods above. Only he'd already found out that she'd cut him off. He needs you because he knows your sister will come back for you. And without her, the Fox will get nothing”.
“Why do you have such bold thoughts?”
“Those are observations from afar. To make sure, we need you. Your chief is building a permanent camp, decided to lay low here. And soon he'll be looking for your sister. He's desperate. We need to know what actions he is preparing before he covers the whole earth from the South to the North Sea with blood.
“The words are beautiful. But — I look back to where the water runs, further down, among the tall grasses — why would I do that?”
“Your sister still needs you”.
“No, the dead don't need anyone," — I say, not looking at the guy.
"Then help the once who is alive".
All of them, these teachers, are like that. They believe everything is fine. Beautiful phrases are selected. They think high and talk about high. But they don't know life as I have seen it. As if they exist in their own fairy tales. My sister believed them, but I did not…
“I have no one left alive”.
“It just seems to be that way. There is always something to lose and someone to lose”.
I think, closing my eyes. The river is still noisy.
“You want to make a spy out of me?"
“Yes, until you jumped off the cliff."
How desperate I was. But the guy is right, something is wrong with the Fox lately. Not from a good life, he went into the woods and climbed on the enemies. If he knows something, I should know it.
Slowly, slowly, but no matter how solid it seems, this house of wolves will fall brick by brick. The walls will start to crumble until everyone is buried under the rubble. I'll wait for it. I'll do anything to spite everyone, but I'll survive.
Dawn glowed over the mountain, like my sister's eyes once did.
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geeky-introvert · 5 years
Text
Goner II FINAL . Sigurd X OC
Summary: As time passes Primerose slowly adjusts to being Sigurd’s own personal slave. She grows closer to him, depending on him to protect her from his brother’s leering eyes and grows more fond of his now sudden gentleness with her....Second and final part.
Word count: 2048
Warning: Stockholm syndrome, unplanned pregnancy and smut.
This was done for the amazing @lisinfleur. The first part can be found here but just warning those who haven’t read it that it’s very triggering.
Tag List: @lisinfleur @mdlady @didiintheblog @alicedopey @lupy22 @rekdreams247 @mblaqgi @oddsnendsfanfics @aphnxrising @happydaysandersen @therealcalicali @naaladareia @inforapound @captstefanbrandt @waiting4inspiration @tabalugax @p8tn0lish @igetcarriedawaywithyou
If anyone else wants to be added to the tag list let me know please.
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The timing seemed to pass by like a cool breeze for Primerose as she slowly adjusted to the new life that was forced upon her. Her master, Sigurd, had taken her virtue, ruined her body and broke her that very night.
She was terrified of him, at least she was at first but that fear had slowly disappeared as she continued to serve him and share his bed. Over time she learned to keep him happy by doing what he asked without question and simply letting him do as he pleased with her body. Doing this prevented him being so rough with her and showed a softer side she slowly grew fond of.
Was it wrong, falling for the heathen who raped her and kept her like a pet? Yes, very, but her feelings were there and true. After what happened he wasn’t cruel to her. She loved the way he smiled at her whenever she served him his food or mead, or even just casually sitting in his lap by the fire while he talked with his brothers.
After weeks of being in her homeland they all returned to Norway, a land she wasn’t familiar with and where it was much colder as well. Thankfully Sigurd gave her a new fur coat to wear and this was when she started to see the soft side of him, the one she liked very much to have around always with her.
Now almost nine months later she had grown used to the change little by little. The only think she never adjusted to were his brother’s prying eyes on her. Whenever she saw them there they were starting like hungry wolves making her feel so exposed in their view. This made her stay close to Sigurd knowing he won’t let them have her for themselves. He made that very clear to them after Hvitserk and Ubbe asked to have her for a night to themselves.
Now, there she was, washing Sigurd’s clothes in the lake surrounded by other thralls. Not being alone made her feel safer but even if someone was to approach her right then no one would help her unless she was with Sigurd. Everyday she tried to be as quick as she could so she could return to him back into Kattegat.
Carrying the basket of clothes she lifted her skirts along with the fresh lavender she had picked to add into his cabin to freshen up the room which she did often. It also reminded her of home.
Entering the cabin she carefully dropped the basket and put the lavender into a tall pot to hold them and even hang some around the open window to dry out.
“Hello kitten.” The voice of Hvitserk made her jump and slowly turn around to see him leaning against the wall.
“What are you doing here?” She asked out of fear.
“That’s no way to speak to me, slave.” He answers firmly coming closer to her forcing her to back up against the other side of the wall. “You need to respect me. Maybe I need to teach you a lesson…” He then takes a strand of her hair making her breath hitch and shake in fear.
“Leave her alone, Hvitserk.” She let out a calming breath hearing Sigurd and quickly came over to his side, hiding like a frightened mouse beside him.
“You should teach your slave some manners. You’ve grown soft…” He smirks but Sigurd wouldn’t  hear it.
“I invite you into my home and you insult me. Leave if you’re going to be a dick.” Sigurd spits back keeping me behind him before Hvitserk finally left with a soft amused laugh.
Swallowing back her fear she remains where she was before he turned around facing her.
“Thank you, Sigurd.” She says softly.
“My brothers are all horny and greedy. They know you’re mine, they should leave you alone and focus on another that’s willing to warm their beds.”
When he caressed her face she found herself leaning into her touch, almost purring as she enjoyed his rough but soft palms against her skin. He watched with a slight smirk at her reaction.
“Do you like my touches, pet?” Primerose felt her cheeks flush red at his words and sucked at her lower lip softly unsure how to respond to him about it. But the answer was simple.
“It’s comforting….” She admits avoiding his stare but he just simply tilted her head up for her to look at him.
His other hand then came up to caress the other side of her face making her eyes flutter shut at the warm feeling her gave. Suddenly she felt his lips against her own making her gasp softly but slowly leaned into the kiss. She was lost in the embrace against him and leaned closer with both her hands placed over his chest as he kissed her tenderly that slowly turned passionate.
She suddenly felt herself being picked up and set onto the table and him settling between her legs causing her to gasp against his lips while his hands roamed up her exposed thighs under her skirts.
“Gods, you feel so soft.” He murmurs against her following by a hungry growl. “So beautiful, all mine.” He pushed her skirts up more before he fell to his knees and suddenly buried his face between her legs with his hot tongue swirling through her folds.
“Sigurd!” She gasped with one hand gripping at the edge of the table and her other tangling into his long blonde braids. The feeling always caught her by surprise with a sudden burst a pleasure that heated up her body so quickly. Over the time he’s been more sexual with her, more kinder and actually bringing up her pleasure, unlike the first time.
What happened then though was forgotten, at least that’s what she was forcing herself to do.
Closing her eyes she tried to relax her body as his tongue rolled between her lips and lips suckling against her already swollen clit that he took very good care of.
His hungry moans vibrated against her sending more shivers of pleasure through her quivering body. Both her hands then buried through his hair, moaning in delight loving the feeling.
She learned to never hold back anymore with the desire and pleasure that bloomed between them. Nothing else mattered, that’s all she cared about.
After he did this for a bit longer he came back up wiping his mouth with a soft grin before kissing her again and pulling her legs further apart grinding himself against her. With quick hands he tugged his trousers down to his ankles and spat in his hand to slick himself up between them
Letting out a gasp of surprise she felt his throbbing cock then enter her in one smooth thrust. Her legs wrapped around him and locked together pulling him closer to her fully settling his cock in her clenching depths.
“Sigurd, you feel so good in me, so big.” She moaned lowly wrapping her arms around his neck as he moved back and forth within her, giving small thrusts in her.
“My beautiful pet, you’re always so tight for me, all mine.” He moaned back grunting softly as she clenched around him.
The table rocked under her as his movements picked up making her gasp each time he filled her over again. Both her arms and legs wrapped tightly around his toned body, riding him as he started to rut into her like an animal in heat added more to her arousal.
Her ankles dug into his arse and fingers gripped into his shoulders through his tunic, holding onto him and moaning lowly with her increased gasps and head tilted back embracing the pleasure. She could feel his thickness entering and leaving her over again and felt every twitch and throb.
“I...Sigurd, ah--oh! It feels amazing!”
“Such a good pet!” He rutted so hard against her pushing the table back a little making it scratch against the floor boards along with their pleasured sounds filling the cabin. “Cum for me, my sweet beautiful pet. Cum for your master!”
Letting herself go she right away clenched tightly and came around his still thrusting and throbbing cock drilling into her and let out a cry of pleasure before letting out soft squeaks each time he continued to move into her. It was all so much but soon enough she felt his seed filling her depths and remained deeply within her as he continued to give jerky thrusts.
She held onto him life her life depended on it and rested her head against his heaving chest listening to his quickly beating heart. Her eyes shut and savored the moment with him. After everything and deep down she felt herself to grow even more fond for him, maybe even love.
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Somehow things only got better. He never hurt her again, never mistreated her and always made she was well looked after and had everything she needed. Things however changed after a few months had passed and she started to feel sick. He was worried as she saw it in his eyes before he took her to a healer and it was there she confirmed that Primerose was indeed with child.
The news took them both by surprise but what did they honestly expect to happen with all the unprotected sex they were having together. For a moment she thought he might be mad but he wasn’t, instead he was both shocked and happy.
Right away he took her to the hall where his mother agreed to allow her to become a free woman and even gave her blessing for him to marry her. There was no choice in her say for what he was saying but she honestly didn’t mind. There was no other life for her. Yes, she used to be an earls daughter and had a loving family before being captured and raped by the very man but all that was buried deep. She didn’t want to remember any of that and instead focus on her future for survival. This was it and now with a child on the way it only made things better for her, for them.
His brothers didn’t seem very thrilled with the idea of her marrying their brother but none of them said anything against it, instead they all stood by his side and left her be.
The months continued to grow further as did her belly with their growing child. Only a week after they both discovered the pregnancy they married and he took care of her better than ever before, as any loving husband would for their wife.
She loved him even more than she ever could have imagined or thought not possible. Yet here they were, together and happily married. It was every girls dream come true to have a husband like Sigurd turn so dark to this gentle man.
Then the time came for her to give birth. Through the struggles and pain she managed to pull through just like so many other women. It was hard but with Sigurd at her side for support she did it all for him and their child. The midwife then grabbed their baby before pulling the crying child up for them to see announcing it was a healthy boy.
Primerose was so proud to give Sigurd a son, an heir.
After the baby was cleaned he was then wrapped up and handed into her waiting arms.
“He’s so beautiful.” She whispered between pants feel so tired still from the birth.
“Olaf, that shall be his name.” Sigurd announced brushing his hand over our sons head. She nodded in agreement liking the name already as they both smiled softly at their son.
Then, his eyes open, a dark brown just like her own looking curiously up at them for the first time.
“Olaf...our beautiful boy.”
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