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flypaw · 8 months
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I deleted my other post to remake it as it was rushed and impulsive
I have £35 currently. I do not get paid until the 28th, but I have things I urgently need money for
The first one is renting a thermal imaging camera. My indoor cat is missing (literally disappeared while I was sleeping) and nowhere to be found. I have checked every garden nearby, and I have ruled out that she did Not escape through the front door, but has next to no way to get out through the back. I have looked everywhere in and under the house for little holes for 5 days now and found nothing, so this would really help if she is stuck somewhere inside
The second one is a vet visit for my other (senior) cat, who has started coughing today for reasons I can't decipher
If I got paid sooner I'd have all the money I need, but I dont, and I CANNOT let her be stuck starving somewhere until the 28th. I'd need around £85 to rent the camera, and Im unsure of how much the vet visit would cost for my boy
This is stressful. One of my cats getting sick after my other cat disappeared. These are my babies, I need them just as much as they need me. Please help. My PayPal is www.paypal.me/flypaw
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khizuo · 3 years
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You know as a person who's been on dsmpblr since November, I think it's neat how c!Wilbur fans and c!Tommy fans have developed this bond, because that wasn't around back then. I remember most c!Tommy and c!Tubbo fans around November 16th were pretty c!Wilbur negative, and while it's not a bad thing to criticize c!Wilbur's actions, I remember seeing quite a few "c!Wilbur made them child soldiers!" and "c!Wilbur has done nothing but abuse c!Tommy!" takes. But now it's like the c!Crimeboys fans have bonded together, discussing ableism and the c!crimeboys dynamics, and it honestly feels really nice.
Despite the wealth of bad takes which still exist, I do think that on dsmpblr at least people have become increasingly sympathetic towards c!Wilbur (including myself actually!), and I often see c!Wilbur fans talk about how much they appreciate and enjoy c!Tommy. The c!Crimeboys fandom might split sometimes a bit (I guess all siblings argue lmao) but it still feels fun to be a part of this united-ish side of dsmpblr that shits on Doomsday's writing and talks about how fucking awful c!Dream is.
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Why Squirrelflight And Finleap Are NOT The Same - Discussion
I have a lot of opinions on this, do bare with me
because I can say now
if you put Squirrelflight asking Bramblestar about kits on the same level as Finleap pressuring Twigbranch
Assume I don't like you
Unless you have a legitimate reason to compare a domestic abuse victim to someone who was actively manipulating his mate to consider having his babies so that he felt 'like he could stay with her', I don't care what you have to say
Because there's a big difference and it's a little thing called context and power dynamics
That being said
disclaimer that I am aro/ace, so this is coming from the lens of someone who doesn't understand romance but knows a bad situation when I see one
///
tw; mentions of abuse and manipulation
Let's start with Finleap
As apprentices he has a cute friendship with Twigbranch and it's implied the two like each other as a little more than friends, though Twig doesn't seem ready for that commitment just yet
We first see the topic of kits come up in this conversation.
“I know.” Finleap spoke softly. “It’s scary having so much responsibility. And these are our first apprentices. But it’s okay for us to make mistakes and it’s okay for them to make mistakes. We’re learning together.” “But I’m supposed to know what to do.” A lump sat in Twigbranch’s throat like a stone. “Why?” Finleap wove around her and stopped as he caught her eye. “You’re a great warrior, Twigbranch. And you’re kind. You don’t have to stop being kind just because you’re a mentor. Trust your instincts. Push Flypaw when she needs pushing, but encourage her too. You must know how good a little encouragement can feel when you’re facing something new and difficult.” There was warmth in his gaze that touched Twigbranch’s heart. He really cared whether she’d be a good mentor. He wanted her to succeed. She purred and touched her nose to his. “Besides,” he went on, “mentoring will teach us patience. Imagine what good parents we’ll be when we have kits.” When we have kits! Twigbranch pulled away. Finleap’s gaze was misty. Was he really thinking about having kits already? They weren’t even mates yet. Twigbranch wasn’t ready to be tied to the nursery. She was barely ready to think about having a mate. She changed the subject. “Let’s check the border.” She didn’t want to hurt Finleap’s feelings. “Flypaw! Snappaw! This way!” she called to the apprentices, scanning the bracken until they appeared, then turned and headed along the trail toward ShadowClan’s border.
It's important to note the obvious negative reaction she has, even outside of her own thoughts. She was perfect fine with touching him until kits are mentioned. She's also quick to change the topic.
It's also implied here and in a couple other places that they hadn't even had this conversation before, as it's sprung onto her without any warning.
And if you don't believe me, consider this paragraph -
His confidence soothed her. He seemed so sure of himself. Even when he’d been pulling Puddleshine free, he’d known he could do it. He was sure they’d be mates too and that they’d have kits one day. And the thought didn’t scare him. Anxiety wormed beneath Twigbranch’s pelt. Then why does it scare me?
Twigbranch isn't ready for kits and the fact Finleap is shows that they're not seeing eye to eye on the issue. He's confident he wants to be a father, but she's not sure she wants to be a mother just yet.
He wants her to be on the same page, even if she isn't ready.
“I like it here, but I don’t feel like I belong.” Finleap glanced at his paws. “Which is why I want to start a family. Here, in ThunderClan. Then I’ll feel part of the Clan. I’ll feel like I have something here that is truly my own. I want to have kits.” “Kits?” Twigbranch’s mouth was so dry, she could hardly speak. Finleap watched her, his gaze expectant. “But you know how I feel about kits,” Twigbranch blurted. “I’m not ready. I want to concentrate on mentoring. I’ve told you all this.” “I know.” Finleap held her gaze. “But I need you to think about it again. I have to feel I belong here—that you want me. If you don’t ever want to have kits with me, I’m not sure I’ll ever feel at home in ThunderClan.”
"If you don’t ever want to have kits with me, I’m not sure I’ll ever feel at home in ThunderClan."
That's a really shitty thing to say to someone especially your bestfriend / girlfriend
"I'm worthless here unless you give up part of your young adult life to providing me with children"
This isn't even a Fernsong situation where he offers to live in the nursery when she's able to go back out. No. He wants her in the nursery with her kits.
.
Next time we see these two
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She glanced at Finleap, wishing he would say something encouraging. “I’m glad Bramblestar picked us. What if it’s the last chance I get to see Violetshine and Hawkwing?” Please tell me everything will be okay. “I thought kin wasn’t important.” There was bitterness in his mew. Twigbranch flinched. Since he’d told her he wanted to have kits, Finleap had been distant. She always seemed to be the one to start conversations, while he only replied in short, vague phrases. Her heart ached, but what could she do? Promise to be his mate? Give up mentoring Flypaw so that she could have his kits? Anger pricked at her belly. He was pressuring her into something she didn’t want yet. But she loved him, and she could understand that he was acting out of unhappiness. If only he could find his place in ThunderClan. She’d planned to keep stalling—refusing to give him a straight answer—to give him time to adjust. But what if SkyClan left? It would force him to make a decision. Clan or kin? She changed the subject. “I hope Reedclaw has recovered from her cough.” Finleap didn’t respond.
Now Finleap is giving her the cold shoulder, being such a piss-ant about her not wanting kits that he's not even willing to comfort her when both their families might be being chased away.
And moments later
Twigbranch was unnerved. Sparkpelt had been her mentor. Had she always wished SkyClan would leave? Why didn’t I realize? “Do you think the other Clans feel the same way?” Finleap shrugged. “If they do, then SkyClan will have to leave.” Her mouth grew dry. Hearing Finleap say those words out loud made her realize that she hadn’t truly thought it was possible until now. But he was right—SkyClan would have no choice but to leave if none of the Clans were on their side. “I really might never see Hawkwing and Violetshine again.” Finleap didn’t speak. Didn’t he care? “Will you go back with them?” She stared at him, her heart pounding. “I don’t know.” He avoided her gaze. Was she going to lose her kin and her love at the same time? What would be left if they went? Feeling sick, Twigbranch followed her Clanmates to the tree-bridge.
Not only does he voice her fears out loud, but he doesn't deny that he'd stay with her if she isn't with him. This is a manipulation tactic and a very shitty and terrible one that that for him to use again the girl he allegedly loves.
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At the end of the gathering -
“SkyClan!” Leafstar called to her Clanmates from the long grass. Harrybrook and Macgyver hurried after her. “We must go,” Hawkwing mewed huskily. He turned away. Twigbranch gazed frantically at Violetshine. “Is this the last time I’ll see you?” “I don’t know.” Violetshine touched her muzzle to Twigbranch’s. Her breath was warm in the chilly night air. “It’s up to Leafstar now.” “Good-bye.” Twigbranch could hardly speak. Her throat tightened as Violetshine pulled away and headed after Hawkwing. As she turned back to her Clanmates, she saw Finleap. He was watching Plumwillow and Sandynose disappear into the grass. She hurried to his side. “Did you say good-bye?” He didn’t answer. The sorrow in his gaze pierced her heart. “Are you planning to go with them if they leave?” She felt numb. He stared at her. “I love you, Twigbranch. But if you don’t want to have kits, I should go with my kin. At least I’ll be somewhere I belong, instead of chasing a dream that might never come true.”
His wording is honestly just terrible.
His dream with Twigbranch is only to have children with her. He may say he loves her, yeah, but according to himself, he's willing to leave her forever just because she's isn't committed to the idea of having babies with him.
I want to say this now
If someone you like is willing to ditch you because you don't want to raise a family, be it at the moment or ever? Leave them. They're not worth it.
You shouldn't feel obligated to have a family with someone.
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After SkyClan leaves, Finleap decides to stay in ThunderClan.
Of course, his pity party isn't over.
In the days since SkyClan had left, Finleap had seemed uneasy. They’d talked after the Gathering and he’d decided to stay in ThunderClan. Twigbranch had been relieved. Of course Finleap was upset at losing his kin, and at first she’d tried to be supportive, but it was like he was clinging to the loss. He’d started to act as though he’d made the wrong choice. He’d begun to eat alone and go to his nest early instead of sharing tongues with the Clan. He was acting like an outsider. Frustration itched beneath Twigbranch’s pelt, growing stronger each day. How could Finleap ever feel like part of ThunderClan if he didn’t try to fit in? At least he’d stopped talking about having kits. Had he really accepted that they wouldn’t have kits until they were both ready? Twigbranch wasn’t sure the matter was settled. Part of her wondered if Finleap wished he’d left with SkyClan after all.
This is where communication between the two is an issue.
Of course Finleap is going to be upset that his family is, as far as he knows, gone forever.
However
He never once clarifies that he's only upset about his kin to Twigbranch, his girlfriend, making his breakdown seem torn between missing his family and not liking the idea that the girl he likes isn't ready to have babies yet.
Not only that, Twigbranch has a huge point here.
Finleap claims kits will make him feel like he belongs in ThunderClan. However, outside of Twig and the idea of kits, he hasn't done much to try to bond with anyone in the Clan. Even outside of the conversation about kits, he mostly interacts with his apprentice unless he's out helping someone.
He's not focused on making friends, or being a great ThunderClan warrior. His only focus is having a family with Twigbranch and nothing else.
Granted we don't see his POV, but we do his actions and what he says to the cats he apparently cares about.
Her talk with Tree expresses more of her concerns with her relationship while they're out trying to find SkyClan.
Twigbranch followed his gaze. “I can’t imagine having kits,” she mewed guiltily. “Finleap wants to already, but I’m not ready to give up being a warrior.” “You don’t have to give it up,” Tree reminded her. “Queens only stay in the nursery until their kits are weaned, don’t they?” “I guess.” Was she being selfish, wanting to focus on herself? “But I don’t want to worry about that yet. I like being a mentor. I’m learning so much every day.” “You’re young,” he mewed gently. “There’s no rush.”
For the first time she's being told that it's okay that she doesn't need to feel ready and that there's nothing wrong with taking her time on deciding what she wants.
Of course this leads to-
“Well done!” As Twigbranch purred admiringly, she saw Finleap padding toward them. He was carrying a bedraggled sparrow. It was skinny and looked more like crow-food than fresh- kill. He stopped beside Flypaw and laid it on the ground. “I was thinking that we could share this . . .” He eyed the fat rabbit lying, half-eaten, between Twigbranch and Tree. “But I guess you don’t need it.” Anger hardened his mew. Twigbranch shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t realize you were bringing me food. Tree just offered and I was hungry.” Finleap wasn’t listening. He was still staring at the rabbit. “I guess he knows where the best prey lives. This used to be his home. It’s easy to hunt when you know the territory.” Tree stared at Finleap coldly. “I could catch a rabbit anywhere.” “Did you used to catch rabbits to impress Violetshine?” Finleap mewed pointedly. “Or have you forgotten Violetshine?”
Immediately he's jealous of Tree because he was thoughtful enough to share a rabbit. And Warriors has shown us that there's nothing inherently romantic about sharing prey. It happens all the time and not specifically between mates or two courting cats.
It's a common social interaction between Clan cats.
But Finleap's acting like he caught them sharing a nest.
Tree had been hard on him, but Finleap had picked the fight. She couldn’t help feeling sorry for him, even though he was acting like a fox-heart. She hurried across the cave. Finleap was sniffing at the bedding, his pelt bristling. “Oh, so you can tear yourself away from Tree?” Twigbranch blinked at him. “What are you talking about? Tree loves Violetshine!” He glanced at her angrily and padded out of the cave.
He accuses her of liking Tree and when she denies, he walks away.
She chases after him and then this argument goes down
He stopped as he reached a swath of heather and turned on her. “I bet you don’t even want to find SkyClan! You’re probably happy to see Violetshine gone now that you’ve made Tree notice you.” Shock froze Twigbranch. “Do you have you bees in your brain?” She stared at him. “How could you say something like that? I would never betray my sister. And I’d never make Tree try to notice me. I told you! He’s just a friend. And he wouldn’t do that to Violetshine, either!” “You haven’t left his side since we left camp,” Finleap snarled. “I’m leading the patrol, and he knows the way!” Twigbranch snapped. “Every time I look at you, your muzzle’s in his ear.” “We were just talking! I’ve got to talk to some cat. Ever since SkyClan left the forest, I feel like I can’t talk to you.” Grief pressed in her belly. “I don’t know why you stayed with me. You’ve made it pretty clear that you wish you’d left with SkyClan.” “I stayed because I love you!" Finleap spat. “You’ve hardly looked at me. If that’s love, I don’t want it!” She lashed her tail. “You don’t know what love is!” He glared at her accusingly. “Of course I do!” Why was he being so mean? “I love you!” “Not enough to have my kits.” She stared at him, wind tugging at her fur. “Is that it? If I won’t have your kits, you don’t want me?” “I want you to love me enough to have kits.” Hurt sharpened his gaze.
Again what he's doing here is shitty and he's being jealous of another tom talking to his girlfriend, despite this tom just being a friend, all because he's being nice to her
Not a good sign
And, of course, the apology just sucks. It comes out of nowhere and it doesn't feel like he earned the right to be forgiven
he hurt Twigbranch, made her doubt what she wanted, and treated her like shit
`“But I thought you loved me.” He sounded surprised. “You told Violetshine you loved me very much.” “I do,” she mewed softly. “But not enough to have your kits. Not now. Maybe not ever.” Finleap glanced at his paws. “Let’s forget about kits, huh?” She blinked in surprise. “Forget?” “I was wrong, Twigbranch. Seeing SkyClan again made me realize . . . however much I love my kin, I love you more. I don’t want you to have kits if you don’t want to. I can live without them. But I can’t live without you.” Twigbranch stared at him. “Do you mean that?” “Yes.” Finleap’s eyes shimmered with love. “I’ve been so wrapped up in feeling hurt, I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you—or how much I was hurting our relationship.”
Now, not every character needs a grand realization
But
I don't think just a simple "I'm sorry" makes up for how he made her feel and the harm he did to their relationship and the fact it took this long for him to realize that his girlfriend his her own cat and not just a kit-making factory.
And this is one part of a very long story
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.
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Now let's talk about Squirrelflight
Specifically Squirrelflight's Hope, but I will also make references to Omen Of The Stars, as that's when her worse breakup with Brambleclaw/star happened where
may I remind you
he ignored her and treated her like garbage for many moons and when he thought there was a chance she might die was when he finally decided to make amends for her horrible crime of
*checks notes*
protecting her sister's kits from a system that punishes not only halfClan kittens, but the kits of medicine cats
"but she lied" I hear you cry
and to that I say
and?
Bramblestar lied about much worse things than where three kits came from and, may I remind you, he trained in cat hell with his very obviously evil dad who he had been judged for being the son of.
And cats lie in Warriors all the time and it's very rare that they're punished for it
and no, saying you find her annoying also doesn't justify anything
The punishment doesn't match the 'crime' here.
So
Let's get into Squirrelflight's Hope
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The first time kits are brought up is by Bramblestar, him talking about it in a negative light.
... She didn’t feel old yet, but it had been a long time since she’d felt the rush of excitement she used to feel in her first moons as a warrior, whenever she was picked to go on patrol or attend a Gathering. She pressed closer to Bramblestar. “Do you miss being young?” He shrugged. “I miss being irresponsible. Back then, the only thing we had to worry about was our next hunt. That was before we became leader and deputy, and before we had kits to look after.”
Obviously, Squirrelflight doesn't agree there
Squirrelflight felt a pang of longing. Sparkpelt and Alderheart were grown, and she’d never had a chance to know their littermates, Juniperkit and Dandelionkit, who had died. She’d been hoping to have a new litter by now—tiny kits to nurture and love. But they’d had no luck. “Having kits didn’t make me feel old. I liked the responsibility. It’ll be good to feel that way again.” She glanced hopefully at Bramblestar. When he didn’t comment, she prompted him. “Don’t you think?” “Of course.” He didn’t look at her. Anxiety prickled beneath her pelt. She’d wanted him to sound more enthusiastic about kits. “Let’s pretend we’re young again now. It’s almost like we’re sneaking out of camp.” Squirrelflight kept her mew light. “Half the Clan are already in their nests, and the rest will be asleep by the time we get home.” “I wish we could.” Was that a sigh in Bramblestar’s mew? “But we can’t be late for the meeting. And we have to go straight back to camp afterward; Birchfall and Lionblaze will be waiting to find out what happened.”
It's important to note now that Squirrelflight wants to feel young and wants to feel important, something that she doesn't feel now as an older molly.
Things have been serious lately and she wants to lighten the mood, but this is brushed off by Bramblestar.
It should be noted that the leaders - and not Squirrelflight - are talking about how their Clans need territory because they have expecting queens. Squirrelflight has an internal reaction, yes, but doesn't say anything.
Bramblestar's also being a hardass here and Squirrelflight does have a good idea, but he's quick to make her feel bad about it.
“Might be.” Bramblestar’s tail twitched angrily. “Or it might be overrun with snakes, or dogs, or foxes. Warriors might die thanks to your idea.”
There was no sign the gathering was leader only. If it was, why bring non-leaders? And everyone had been having an open discussion about possible ideas.
But Bramblestar shames Squirrelflight for trying to be helpful.
And of course, we start reaching this scene
“But we’d all have bigger territories if SkyClan moved.” Squirrelflight hurried after him. “And you heard Harestar and Leafstar. The Clans are growing. There’ll be more kits by newleaf, more mouths to feed, more apprentices to train—” “More kits!” Bramblestar lashed his tail. “Is that all you think about now?”
She's not talking about her own kits. She's literally referencing something previously brought up by two other Clan leaders. However, Bramblestar turns this against her, lashing out about an already dead conversation that didn't last.
A conversation that he had brought up both the first time and this time.
His words stung like claw marks. She watched him disappear into the grass, her chest tightening. “Don’t you think about it?” She pushed after him, but he was already hurrying ahead. He was on the tree-bridge by the time she caught up to him. She followed him over it and jumped onto the far shore. She fell in beside Bramblestar, breathless as she tried to keep up. “Don’t you think about kits, Bramblestar?” “I have kits,” he snapped. “Alderheart and Sparkpelt? They’re grown up now!” “I know!” Bramblestar didn’t look at her. “They’re old enough to look after themselves. Why are you so desperate to be responsible for new lives? Isn’t being deputy enough?” “It should be, but it’s not.” Squirrelflight felt panic welling. “I’m getting older with each season. One day I won’t be able to have more kits. I just want another litter before it’s too late.”
Not only did he run off after bring this conversation back, but he continues to shame Squirrelflight after he stops running, implying that she's not content being deputy.
She's worried because she's scared that she's getting older.
The fear of growing older is a common fear and brushing it off as someone being irrational isn't fair to the person.
and to get to the scene where she's "like Finleap" according to those people out there with pebbles instead of brains.
“I know.” Bramblestar sounded weary. “And of course I want kits. Just not as much as you do.” Squirrelflight stopped and stared after him. “Don’t you love me anymore?”
She's not asking this to guilt trip or manipulate. We'd be seeing signs of that way before this question.
Instead this is given the context of being asked in desperation.
I remind you that Bramblestar had spent an entire arc being harsh and cold to her, making her feel small, and he had been making her feel small again, berating her and having her question her ideas.
He's being a piece of shit and she's scared that this is going to turn into all those moons of OotS again.
Even if she was trying to, the power dynamic isn't in her favor. Not only is he older than her, having been made a warrior before she was even born, he's the leader. He has 9 long lives ahead of him.
As shown here she's painfully aware of it, too
Bramblestar turned, his eyes sparking with exasperation. “Yes! But I am responsible for our Clan. And if the other Clans are planning to start up more trouble with SkyClan, I need to focus on that. I don’t have as much energy as I used to. I’m getting older too.” “No, you’re not!” Anger flared in Squirrelflight’s chest. “You have more lives than me—” She broke off as a realization washed over her like ice water. Was that why he didn’t care about kits? He had plenty of time to have kits in the future, maybe even with another mate, when she was dead. The thought made her feel sick. Bramblestar’s next litter might have a mother who wasn’t her. She stared at him, unable to speak.
She doesn't put it past Bramblestar to move on after she's gone, despite his older age and that was also proof in Bramblestar's Storm, where he was actively interested in courting Jessy.
Her fears here are valid. Not only is she older, but she only has one life to live. He doesn't.
And he's perfectly in the right to not want anymore kits
However, his attitude and behavior to his mate is absolutely terrible and instead of talking to her, he's belittling her and making her feel bad for wanting things.
And for having different opinions at that
His gaze shimmered suddenly as though he saw her pain. “I’m sorry.” He hurried to her side and pressed his muzzle against her cheek. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I was angry. I felt you weren’t on my side at the meeting. I was trying to protect SkyClan.” “So was I!” She pulled away indignantly. “I was trying to find a solution that would keep the peace.” “Maybe you’re right. But that isn’t the point. You’re my deputy.” His tail twitched. “You’re supposed to back me up in front of the other Clans. We need to look united. You know how quickly Tigerstar smells weakness, and how he exploits it.”
Then why make her deputy again?
“And you did the ShadowClan border patrol.” Squirrelflight’s tail-tip was twitching, though she kept her voice low. “And yesterday you trekked all the way over to RiverClan and risked your life rescuing that kittypet.” “So?” Bramblestar began to feel frustrated. “I’m fine. It’s not a problem.” “It’ll be a problem for the rest of us if our Clan leader collapses from exhaustion.” Bramblestar heaved a long sigh. “Remind me why I chose you to be my deputy,” he muttered through his teeth. “Because I won’t let you boss me around,” Squirrelflight retorted, her green eyes flashing. True, Bramblestar thought ruefully.
Oh yeah, cause he doesn't want a yes-man deputy
Or maybe he wants a deputy who only challenges him when it's convenient and/or doesn't make him look like an idiot.
Which is kinda
not great
“It looks a lot like weakness when a deputy disagrees with her leader in public.” Bramblestar shifted his paws. “You should know better! You should have discussed your idea with me in private and we could have taken it to the other Clans together.” “It might have been too late by then.” Squirrelflight paused. She didn’t want to argue. And besides, the issue with SkyClan wasn’t what was worrying her now. “I’m sorry I spoke up without talking to you first. But is that really why you said you don’t want to have kits?” Bramblestar gazed at her, his eyes round. “I’m sorry if I made it sound that way. I do want to have kits with you.” “Really?” Her heart lifted. “Yes. If that’s what you want.” Squirrelflight stared at him. There was resignation in his eyes. Grief twisted her belly as he stared back at her blankly. She turned away. I want you to want it too.
Here's where the argument that Squirrelflight, in any way, is equal to Finleap falls apart the most.
She doesn't need to be told that he doesn't feel the same.
She can see it in the way he acts.
She knows he doesn't and she lets the conversation die. Yes, she still thinks about how Bramblestar may move on and have a new litter after she's gone, but she doesn't talk about it, instead keeping her thoughts to herself, not wanting to rock their unstable relationship any more than it has been.
Most of this book has Squirrelflight second guessing what she wants and believing that maybe she was in the wrong for talking openly about a possible idea when everyone else had been doing it.
There's literally a scene where she's having what, in my opinion, feels similar to the start of a near panic attack where her thoughts spiral into a dark pit
But it hadn’t been just the kits he’d been upset about. She’d contradicted him in front of the others. But they were close to fighting! Squirrelflight flicked her tail indignantly. And I have a right to my own opinion. Her plan for SkyClan could be the perfect solution. She couldn’t have held her tongue even if she’d wanted to. Bramblestar had implied that a good deputy would have kept quiet. She shook out her pelt. Was that what Bramblestar thought—that she wasn’t a good deputy? Hurt sharpened its claws on her heart once again. She closed her eyes. Chasing thoughts like this wasn’t going to help her feel better.
The way Bramblestar spoke to her struck so deep that Squirrelflight feels selfish for having her own wants, as seen by her talking to her sister.
Squirrelflight let out her breath. Never mind the awkwardness—Leafpool will understand. And she needed reassurance. “He said he doesn’t want more kits as much as I do.” Leafpool’s eyes rounded with sympathy. “Oh, Squirrelflight.” Squirrelflight nodded. “I know. It’s—” Selfish of me, she was about to say. Because I’ve already mothered two litters. But Leafpool didn’t let her finish. “That must have hurt,” Leafpool said softly, dipping her head. “I know how much you want another litter.” “Bramblestar says he’s getting old and that the Clan is enough responsibility.” She trailed into silence, the memory of the argument stinging her afresh. “I’m sure he’d love kits if you had them,” Leafpool mewed. “But I can see how he finds the thought overwhelming.” Squirrelflight blinked at her. “Do you think I’m being unreasonable, wanting more kits? I know I . . .” “No, of course not. But you already have Alderheart and Sparkpelt. And, in a way, Jayfeather and Lionblaze.” Squirrelflight nodded, but her heart ached. “They don’t need me anymore.”
The power dynamic between Bramblestar and Squirrelflight aren't fair and, again, he's in his right to not want any more kits right now
but the way he spoke and made her feel like her wanting kits at all was terrible and that she should feel bad isn't the way to handle a relationship where two people have two different wants
And for more proof that Bramblestar doesn't make his deputy, who is also his mate, feel important
we have this line
And as far as kits went . . . Leafpool didn’t understand what it felt like not to be needed. Leafpool was needed every day. The Clan depended on her, sometimes for their lives. It was different for Squirrelflight. Even as deputy, she was just one warrior among many.
She's made to feel like another warrior, a replaceable cog in a machine, when Bramblestar had never been made to feel like that while he was deputy
In fact, in Squirrelflight's own words
"Who does Brambleclaw think he is, treating me like I'm still wet behind the ears? Toms are so much trouble! You don't know how lucky you are, Leafpool, not having to worry about things like that. Well I know there was Crowfeather..."
After becoming deputy his confidence and ego went up and he made it known that he wasn't just another cat
He was ThunderClan's deputy
But he never allows his mate to feel like that
In fact, he actively puts her down
He starts making up rules just to keep her in place and lashing out when she tries to fight back. Even when Squirrelflight is trying to be happy that Sparkpelt is expecting kits, Bramblestar brings up their conversation.
Yes, Squirrelflight did feel a little envious, she felt guilty about feeling that way and just wanted to be happy for her daughter
but he was the one who brought up how she wanted kits and he didn't, further making her feel shameful
he didn't even aid in comforting his daughter when her pregnancy brought pain after he sparked the fight with Squirrelflight. He was just watching as Squirrelflight helped their daughter, Squilf being the one to talk to her gently when she was worried about the intense craps she was feeling
When Sunrise, one of the Sisters, is actively dying, he refuses to allow anyone to help her until the medicine cats talk to StarClan and when they get an unclear message, he's more than willing to let her die
When Leafpool refuses to allow this, he actively challenges the medicine cat in front of the entire Clan and Squirrelflight snaps to her sister's defense once more.
Squirrelflight held her ground. “I have to do what I think is right.” “Even if it costs you your Clan?” “ThunderClan is stronger than that,” Squirrelflight spat. “At least I hope it is. If our future depends on letting a cat die, then it’s not the Clan I thought it was.” Bramblestar stared at her. Uncertainty glittered in his gaze. “Why are you doing this to me?” His words pierced her heart. “You’re my deputy. You’re my mate. You’re supposed to support me.” “Being a good deputy doesn’t mean blindly following orders.” Squirrelflight didn’t move. “It means standing up for what I believe, and this time, I believe I’m right.” The camp seemed to swim around her. She knew she was hurting him. But she had to convince him. As the Clan watched her silently, their eyes round in the moonlight, Bramblestar backed away.
Bramblestar tries to manipulate her and that's where the big power dynamic comes in
he's the leader
he's older
he had gone out of his way many times to make her feel small and weak compared to him, even imposing reckless rules just to try to keep her where he wants her
he wants to use her emotions against her
and when she refuses to let him hurt her more
he strikes her with more sharp and hurtful words
Around him, the Clan got to their paws. Mousewhisker and Twigbranch helped Tempest and Hawk lift Sunrise. Leafpool nosed her way into the medicine den. Bramblestar narrowed his eyes, his face like stone. Squirrelflight tried to drag her gaze from his, her heart cracking as he curled his lip. “StarClan wanted unity among the Clans,” he snarled. “Thanks to you, there’s not even unity in ThunderClan anymore.”
“Thanks to you, there’s not even unity in ThunderClan anymore.”
because she didn't want an needless death, he blames her for the discourse he created
this is only a portion of the Squirrelflight mistreatment in this book, but it's all that I'm going to mention since it deals with the topic at hand
and of course we know she decides she doesn't need more kits after all
but what I want to say is
these two stories aren't even
Finleap is manipulative and tries to make Twigbranch feel like she needs to have his kits to prove she loves him or to keep him around
Squirrelflight wants to have more kits, but is made to feel like her needs are selfish and that she should feel bad for these feelings
Twig and Bramble are valid for not wanting kits just as much as Fin and Squirrel are valid for wanting them
However, Finleap isn't in the right for pressuring his girlfriend to marry him and have kittens when she isn't ready
and Bramblestar isn't in the right for shaming his mate for wanting more kits and making a scene out of their relationship problems
and before any incels find this
their genders wouldn't matter in this
if Finleap was a she-cat harassing the tom she liked to have kits with her to make her feel like she belonged in a Clan, I'd still feel the same way
if Squirrelflight was a tom who wanted more kits, but his female leader mate berated him and made him to feel guilty for wanting that, I'd feel the same
it's not about toms and she-cats, men and women, or whatever terrible black and white gender binary lens you're looking through
it's about two different types of shitty mates in two different situations
those being Finleap and Bramblestar and their manipulation of Twigbranch and Squirrelflight respectively.
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calitraditionalism · 4 years
Text
Story: The Best View
Flypaw watched the cluster of warriors whispering to each other, her tail lashing. They were talking about her. They were always talking about her.
The pathetic black-and-white tom that was her stepfather was bobbing his head up and down like a fishing duck, murmuring affirmations and apologies. Ever since her mother had died, he had handed over authority of Flypaw’s life to Minnownose, who was currently staring him down coldly, and he would agree with every single idea the deputy had about how to discipline Flypaw and lead her down the path of obedience.
Flypaw hated both of them for opposite reasons. Swiftdust was a simpering wuss who’d never had an original opinion in his life. Minnownose, on the other paw, was the pinnacle of what the Marish desired in their community – quiet, stern and dedicated to keeping everyone together and in perfect unity. No one had fought in a long time because of her mediations and threats of punishment, and that was just how everyone liked it.
Flypaw, being the exact opposite of everything this family stood for, threatened their shallow peace and serenity. As such, she was constantly in trouble. She was amazed they even let her near her sisters anymore, but, then again, it wasn’t like they could stop her without beating her within an inch of her life or exiling her, and neither of those things were The Ideal Way. The Marish insisted on everyone staying and keeping the knowledge and secrets they had within the family, no matter what.
So screw her, she guessed.
One cat stood up – her mentor, Troutpath. He said something that she couldn’t quite hear, but his tone and submissive body gestures gave away that he was trying to vie for a talk, rather than a punishment.
Good ol’ Troutpath. The only cat looking out for her.
Abruptly, the three cats stood up and approached Flypaw - Minnownose with her chin raised so she could look down dismissively at the apprentice, Swiftdust with his tail between his legs and his stupid meek shuffle, and Troutpath actually walking like a normal person. A welcome respite.
“Er…Flypaw.” Swiftdust looked at Minnownose, who nodded at him, and he stepped a little closer, in the same manner one would approach a venomous snake. “Minnownose would like to address your fight today.”
“She can bite me,” Flypaw said.
Swiftdust flinched. “Flypaw, please-“
“Fine.” Flypaw stood up and gave the deputy her most hate-filled glare she could manage. “You can bite me.”
Minnownose blinked disdainfully at her and jerked her head at Troutpath. A classic Marish motion: She’s your apprentice, do your job.
Flypaw watched the motion with rage burning in her chest, but she stared down at the ground, bristling all over. Her short fur made it impossible for her to look much bigger than she was, but she knew her aura would at least ward off the deputy from talking to her directly.
Troutpath sat down in front of his apprentice. She could feel his patient gaze. “Flypaw…”
Flypaw met his eyes with a fierce, unspoken challenge.
Troutpath did not rise to it. He spoke kindly. “Would you like to talk about what’s going on?”
Flypaw wanted to glower at him until he looked away, but it was she who turned her head first. “I’unno.”
“Here, come on.” Troutpath stood up, adding to Minnownose, “We’ll be back later.”
Minnownose grunted. Troutpath gently nudged Flypaw, and, for once, she obediently got up and stalked after him out of camp.
Nothing was said as they hopped over streams and parted the grass. Flypaw was scowling at the ground, unaware of their direction, just following the sound of her mentor’s footsteps. The longer they walked, the more hunched over she got, and the more her steps lagged.
She stepped over Troutpath’s tail and just barely stopped in time to avoid crashing into him. He had seated himself on a flat, grass-free patch of land, circled by water. He turned and gave her an inviting nod. Reluctantly, she sat down beside him and looked up to see where they were.
Ah. No wonder they had come here. This was her favorite place in the Marish’s homeland.
Here, the ground raised a little, just enough to see into the valley with a mostly uninterrupted view – almost all the way to end of the flatlands, blocked only by patches of forest and the sheer distance between here and where the leaders lived. If Flypaw squinted and the light was right, the faint grey on the horizon formed into the fabled stone houses the Clast lived in. The way the sun was setting behind them caught the snow on the mountains to the east and turned them almost orange, with the uncovered rocks jutting out on the slopes turned a sharp black. The grass was still green in the valley, a gentle breeze in the distance sending a wave of gold wherever it touched down, with black dots casting long shadows moving about, catching prey or chasing each other back and forth.
Flypaw let out a huge breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, and at once the tension left her body.
“There we are,” Troutpath said, with an affectionate touch of his chin to the top of her head. “Feeling better?”
Flypaw nodded.
“I thought that might help.” The way Troutpath was colored by the sunset, he looked like an entirely different cat – his brown patches were red, and most of the white of his body was dark blue. “Do you want to talk now?”
Flypaw wanted to be more sullen than she actually felt, but the serenity of the end of the day opened her mouth. “I guess.”
“Alright.” Troutpath lowered into a crouch, settling down for the long haul. “What’s troubling you?”
Flypaw took a breath, let it out, and breathed in again. “I’unno. Lots.”
Troutpath nodded for her to go on.
The storm in the back of Flypaw’s head rumbled and swelled, and before she knew it she was off. “I’m just tired of this whole…thing. All of it. I don’t want to shut up, I want to talk. And I don’t want Gnatkit and Mosquitokit to be told to shut up either. They’re kittens, they should get to talk as much as they want! So should I! What’s wrong with being loud? Why can’t we just yell once in a while?
“And- and I hate that Swiftdust is just letting Minnownose do whatever she wants with HIS kits. And no one listens to me, even though I’m going to be a warrior in a couple months! I know them better than HE does! But he gets to be the one to shove them off on an old bat who doesn’t know what it’s like to be young anymore? It’s rotten!”
Troutpath looked amused for a moment, but his face turned serious again before Flypaw could berate him. She bared her teeth like a dog and continued, bristling again.
“And, you know, I’d leave to be rid of all this! I’d let them kick me out – if they WOULD kick me out! But they won’t! They want everyone who knows anything about the Marish to stay here! They’ll do their best to keep me here so I don’t go off spilling secrets or whatever-the-muck they’re so concerned about! Who would want to talk about this crappy place, anyway?! I should just take my sisters and go! Just leave in the middle of the night, before they can stop me! But they’ll just track me down and try to drag me back! Even though no one except my mom wanted me here to begin with!”
Flypaw’s voice cracked on the last sentence and she choked on her breath. A wave of hurt hit her square in the chest and she almost sagged with the weight of it. She hardly even noticed her mentor’s tail on her back as she coughed out pained breath after pained breath. She let herself sink to the ground, mirroring Troutpath’s position, burying her nose in her paws.
“I want to go,” she managed finally, voice weak and wobbly. “I want out of here. Now. But I can’t leave my sisters trapped in this family before they have the chance to figure out who they want to be. And no one will let me take them with me.”
Troutpath blinked slowly at her – an expression of compassion, and one that she rarely received. He said quietly, “This isn’t the best place for an individual to grow, I agree.”
Flypaw lifted her nose and rested her chin on her paws, eyes too heavy to keep open. “I hate it here.”
“I know.” Troutpath’s tail gently tapped along her back. He paused. “You’re always feeling these things, though. Did any of this cause you to get into a fight with Dapplepaw?”
Flypaw managed a snort. “It wasn’t a fight. I hit him a couple times and he wailed for his mentor to stop me instead of doing anything himself.”
Troutpath almost looked like he wanted to laugh, but he stayed on topic. “What did he say to upset you?”
“I’unno.” Flypaw’s eyes drifted to the side, focused on a bent blade of grass. “He said I shouldn’t get to see my sisters at all. Something ‘bout a ‘bad influence’. I forget. I just got mad and hit him.”
Troutpath hummed.
“I’m not gunna apologize,” Flypaw said. “I don’t care how much trouble I get in. I’m the only one who actually cares about the twins enough to protect them. I’ll fight every single member of this family to the death to let them be their own cats and not just a mindless shadow following along with the herd.”
“Would you fight me?” Troutpath asked.
“Well, no, of course not you.” Flypaw made a face at him, and he did laugh this time. “You and their foster mom, I’d leave alone.”
“Duckheart’s been letting you visit the nursery, then,” Troutpath said, surprised. “I thought she was upset with you.”
“No, just with me yelling so much or whatever.” Flypaw tilted her head in a feline version of a shrug. “Doesn’t want me to wake her litter. She doesn’t care if the girls are awake.”
Troutpath nodded and fell silent, turning his head to the valley and gazing out at the growing darkness. Flypaw joined him in watching the land slowly drown in shadow and the stars appear and speckle the night sky as the warmer colors faded away.
And, like always, the sight slowly drained Flypaw of her bitterness and anger. She started focusing on the stars, counting to ten in one area, then counting to ten again in another, and trying to keep track of which ones she had already numbered. It was more fun than she thought it would be.
Fun enough, in fact, that she jumped out of her reverie when Troutpath spoke again. “Are you ready to go home?”
Flypaw blinked twice and looked at him. Heaving a sigh, she nodded and stood up. “I’m not going to have to say sorry, am I?”
Troutpath smiled at her like he was trying to hide another laugh as he got to his feet and led her back through the grass. “We’ll see.”
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brackenfur · 5 years
Text
okay so . i finished a vision of shadows and im gonna post my Thoughts on the arc here:
things i liked:
darktail was a good villain. he was scary, he was manipulative, he was mean. he felt THREATENING which is someting the other villains sometimes lacked (hawkfrost cough cough), he kinda reminded me of first series brokenstar a little & i LIKED darktail as a villain. him being onestars son is also so conceptually hilarious
alderheart was cute & i liked how nice and caring he was. he wasnt like.....unintentionally a jackass or annoying to read, he was just kind and always reinforced that. i also liked how he made t he most of his situation and became an awesome medicine cat
also puddleshine is a good boy too. puddleshine/alderheart FOREVER
also needletail. oh my god needletail. i remember someone saying “just read the books u wont like needletail THEN” but nope................i fcking love her. shes a good character. her death made me SO upset even though i knew it was coming & im such a sucker for her and violetshines found family dynamic
SPEAKING OF VIOLETSHINE i liked her a LOT. her & alderheart were my fave pov characters - theres something i really sympathize with and love in violetshine, and i liked her arc about finding her home and being so confident in it, but i also like all the moments where she was filled with doubt and bad memories. one of my fave scenes with her is when sleekwhisker is like “remember when we were friends???” & violetshine is like “no.........i Absolutely dont rememebr that. you were all mean to me.” bc YES violetshine, YOU TELL HER!
sleekwhisker was a LOT of fun. shes just mean as shit and i found myself liking that, theres nothing deep abt it. shes just so fucking rude and shes a fun secondary antagonist
tigerheart & dovewings kids are adorable
i really liked that last scene in the raging storm when tigerheartstar agrees to share a border with skyclan & hes like “oh so we wont be near thunderclan anymore???” & leafstar is like ?????/ & hes just like “thank GOD. we’ve been near them for waaayyyyy too long” & bramblestar joins in on joking wiht him being like “yeah well we’re glad not to be near YOU anymore either”, and the rest of the clans are just like “oh man what will we DO without thunderclan and shadowclan butting heads anymore???’ that just made me smile. i like the scenes wtht he clans joking with one another and all
also alderhearts last tidbit where he looks at violetshine & twigbranch and thinks abt needletail and how far theyve all come and just oges “i hope youre happy in starclan, needletail, i miss you.’ was really cute. it made me kinda emotional
leafstar was so good in this arc. i liked her and skyclan a lot bc they were so rightfully DONE with everyones shit - from being taken advantage of to being driven out, she just HAD it with all of them and i was like you know what.....good job. i’d be mad to that place is a freakshow
shattered sky is probably one of my fave warrior books i wont lie
i loved the scene where all the clans fight darktail and they show how each of the clans are using their own skills to fight him, and they list how they’ll do it - i just like the idea of them all coming together, and that battle was REALLY good. shattered sky was just good
things i DIDNT like:
oh boy.
briarlights death. im still so mad that out of every character, the ONLY one who dies is her in river of fire. like no lets not get rid of the older cast or characters who havent done ANYTHING in all the books.....like it just made me rly mad and still does. i miss her so much :(
im gonna be honest - i said it once a long time ago and i’ll say it again: its hard for me to like tree as a concept when hes this able bodied character who has an ENTIRE new role created for him just bc he doesnt feel like doing anything else in a clan but characters like briarlight and longtail werent allowed to become warriors after their respective injuries, or characters like jayfeather and cinderpelt are forced to become medicine cats. like its just hard for me to like him when in the SAME BOOK briarlight dies and tree gets his dumb new role.
darktail shouldn’t have died so early tbfh. like after he died the last 3 books were just really.....underwhelming. sleekwhisker came back for that one book but it was like. there were no villains?? except. the weather i guess
the whole “the clans dont listen to the medicine cats” got really repetitive after like the 4th book.  like it started to just kinda get annoying when alderheart would go to bramblestar ad hes just like “okay but...i dont want to do anything JUST yet son” like WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS 10 TIMES NOW
i didnt like jayfeather in these books, im sorry. like there were little glimpses of him i liekd - when he was hanging around fuzzball, or small scenes with him and alderheart - but he was just.....too mean sometimes. how he treated alderheart and twigbranch really bothered me sometimes bc it felt so mean-spirited. they kinda overdid his grumpiness i think bc theres just a line between being a grump and just being an asshole and he was falling on the latter i think
twigbranch & flypaws relationship reeeeallly bugged me ngl, esp since i feel like there wasnt any scene where twigbranch realized she was really wrong for how she treated her. like yes i understand twig was rly frustrated but flypaw is an APPRENTICE & twigbranch being like “i have to be really mean to her for her to understand she needs to Be Better” bugged me. hmph.
finleap
TIGERHEARSTAR JUST LIKE AS A CONCEPT
tawnypelt not saying anything when she saw dawnpelts spirit like???? thats her baby?????????????????
the whole arc felt really repetative in the last 3 books , i mentioned it before but i just. got annoyed with how much it was like “okay we need to come together” clans: i guess “okay we need to stop fighting” clans: okay and then the next book they dont do that. like it happened way too much and i was just liek CAN WE HAVE ANOTHER CONFLICT OR SOMETHING
the name twigbranch
tigerheartstar being “chosen” to lead shadowclan when other cats could’ve done it for him lol
also tigerheartstar being broguht back to life bc apparently he was just That Special out of EVERY OTHER CHARACTER IN THE SERIES 
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prettytoms · 5 years
Text
I just finished “The Raging Storm”, and honestly? I liked it. 
Now some parts were a little weird or rushed (*cough*Juniperclaw’s death scene*cough*), and ShadowClan was being a huge butthole a majority of the time, but I still found it enjoyable.
My personal favorite moments (Spoiler Warning) are as follows:
Alderheart standing his ground against two medicine cats and two leaders for the sake of Puddleshine
Leafstar calling the other Clans out on their bullshit and effectively throwing Tigerstar the middle-finger
Puddleshine trusting Alderheart enough to let him pretty much poison him for treatment
All of ShadowClan ending up liking Alderheart despite not wanting to (because no one can resist that sweetheart)
Shadowkit just being himself and literally almost drowning just so everyone would work together
Violetshine’s relationship with Tree and the two understanding each other enough that they’re willing to part ways for each other’s happiness
Hawkwing protecting Violetshine and still loving Twigbranch no matter what
Flypaw being adorable
Tree being completely ready to throw hands (paws?) with Finleap just to defend his wife and sister-in-law’s honors
Nightcloud coming on the patrol to find SkyClan and being identified as one of the cats that wanted SkyClan to stay
Twigbranch standing up to Finleap and setting him straight
Finleap apologizing and realizing he was wrong for pressuring Twigbranch to have babies (do I forgive him? not completely, no)
Tigerstar and Dovewing being concerned parents and caring very much about Shadowkit’s health
Sandynose talking shit about Tigerstar and being completely right
Pebbleshine finally being confirmed as deceased and making peace with her mate and kits
Violetshine being preggers
The Gathering at the very end. Just everything about it. Tigerstar cracking a joke and Bramblestar joining in. Alderheart thinking about everything that’s happened and if Needletail is watching. omggggggggg
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