#*cries self to sleep*

[justtogetthrough]

Made the mistake of looking through photos of someone who is really fucking triggering to me. That was a great idea at 12 am 😑

#cries self to sleep #personal

[suntails]

do you deserve to be loved?

#*smashes thru the wall like the kool aid man* im fucking back #we're so back. it's joever. i'm screeching into the sun i'm ILL i fucking sobbed last night i cried during work #i sat and drew during my lunch i finished the lore drop at 7am and didnt sleep and drew until work started at 9 #i. um. i dont even know where to start for making shit. i feel adrift i feel lost in the sauce of misery #the way he screamed at his baby self that he didnt deserve to cry. that he didnt deserve to be loved. im fucking ILL #ive talked before abt his bad relationship w his own mortality but ngl i REALLY underestimated how deep this ran...esp w the new dad knowle #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #silver vanrouge #ch7 spoilers #book 7 spoilers #he got a new rigged expression!!! all the new animations!!!!!! as a rig animator by trade i was v impressed and pleased #silver nation. fuck every other book like im sorry this one wins u cant deny it #suntails

[bundleofbaloney]

TARNISHED GOLD FINALE WAS AMAZING and after days of my brain chewing and masticating,, the desire to make fan art snowballing I RELENTED and thank you @primtheamazing for giving us delectable brainrot material fresh out of the oven every week 🗣️ feeding us well 🙀

#tarnished gold #svsss #svsss fanart #luo binghe #gongyi xiao #shen yuan #scum villian self saving system #If you squint hard enough you can make out the blurry words that are my lamentations about my current sleep schedule #the image quality got run over by a truck #i’ve cried enough about it that i have made peace with posting this now

[hayakawapartner]

aki with a s/o with chronic pain . . .

!!! this post is sfw, but minors dni with this post/blog !!!

notes: gn!disabled!reader, this is self indulgent i tried to make this fitting for more general chronic pain! reader might come across as ehlers danlos-coded (is that a thing?? weird thing for me to type)

aki is already so sweet and caring with you, of course he would be helpful when your chronic pain flares up.

he notices that you’re moving a bit slower, taking shorter steps, taking a longer time to get up from your seat… and he’s immediately there to help

VERY quick to ask what you need, but he also tries to offer your usual solutions

“where does it hurt? do you need a heating pad? painkillers? tiger balm? do you want me to run a warm bath?”

if you have fluctuating mobility/occasionally use a mobility aid, he does his best to keep everything in a convenient spot for you. crutches near the bed so you can slide your arms in and get up with a bit more ease, rollator in a place where you don’t trip but it’s easy to access…

he was initially Overly Careful with you so he didn’t aggravate your pain further, but as he grows used to your needs, he’s still careful but he’s not scared of breaking you like he used to be

kisses the back of your neck while gently massaging your sore joints/muscles, murmuring soft “i love you”s and “you’re gonna be okay”s while he’s rubbing tiger balm onto your sorest spots

if he hears your joints pop he gets really nervous until you specify if it was a good/bad pop

if a spot is too sore, he won’t touch it in case he hurts you even more.

and if you just Can’t get out of bed for the day? he calls off from work to take care of you. brings you comfort food, helps you to the bathroom when you need it, makes sure you’re hydrated and taking your meds…

SPEAKING OF MEDS. this man is so good at reminding you

“did you forget to take your meds? maybe you should take them now, love. it’ll help you feel less sore.”

he’s very careful to make sure he doesn’t shame you for forgetting meds, for needing help, for being in pain. he just does whatever he can to make sure you’re okay and empathises with your complaints about your aches.

while he hates seeing you in pain during a flare-up, he becomes extra doting just to make sure your needs are met. cooks your fav comfort meal, makes sure all your pillows are soft and arranged to keep you comfy, refills your water bottle whenever it’s almost empty, etc.

he’s just so loving… aaauuuu

#aki hayakawa #aki hayakawa x reader #disabled reader #op #ive been having a lot of flareups due to the weather recently :’) rain my fucking beloathed #so this thought has been massively comforting to me #this was written 99% for self indulgence so it is based on my own personal experiences #but i tried to make it a lil broader and include things i dont use so others can enjoy :-) #i use forearm crutches sometimes + cant take many painkillers so tiger balm is my bestest friend #btw just a tip. if you cant afford tiger balm? get coralite from the dollar store! same pain relief (i use the patches) #akiiii please help me put pain patches on my back and tell me its going to be okay…… cries and cries and CRIES #maybe ill make an eds-specific version for even more self indulgence #also i wanted to include aki carrying you since i like tht for me but idk if others like tht when it comes to chronic pain so. left tht out #i might write more disabled/disabled-coded reader stuff later #this was just me being sore at 1am and throwing my thoughts out #or maybe ill write more aki things since i like him very much #going to post this and sleep. GOODNIGHT HAYAKAWA NATION 💪 #imagine

[miutonium]

Off-balance 💃

#she fall for him ahaha get it?????? #okay that was not funny and horrible i am going to sleep now #i cried the whole day today lol but i am happy again because of them #also because i realize that I can basically draw this so like i have solved my issue temporarily 👍👍👍 #10/10 recommend making selfship content for myself to cure sadness woaaaghh #asukart #selfship #selfshipping #selfship art #selfship community #selfship talk #self insert oc #self insert art #self insert community #self insert x fictional other #oc x canon #si x fo #professor utonium #ppg professor #selfshipping community

[plantaagomaajor]

thinking about Kavinsky, who's almost convinced himself that he's God, only realizing just how powerless he is when Proko dies and he can't do anything about it. oh, he can dream copy after copy after copy but none of them are quite right. none of them are Proko.

no matter how powerful Kavinsky is, he can never do the one thing that he wishes for the most. Proko, the real Proko, Kavinsky's Proko, is gone forever

#i've been thinking about them recently......... #rhatliarehgliuarhgulrhglurehgluhgls #can you IMAGINE how K feels?????????? his dreaming is worthless for the FIRST TIME. #K IS his dreaming; it's his defining thing; it's how he sees himself... if his dreaming is worthless then isn't Kavinsky himself worthless? #think about the longing; the desperation that increases with every failed attempt #the grief; the fear; the self-hatred- how useless is he? all these drugs; cars; a new father; and he can't bring back the most important- #person in his life. thinking that this is something he SHOULD be able to do right??? he should be able to and he wants it like he's never- #wanted anything in his life but he just keeps failing and failing and failing #do you think he cries? that he screams every time he wakes up and the dreamed copy is wrong? that he sleeps all day for the chance to do- #better next time? #do you think that he cries every time he has to kill a copy; no matter how wrong it was? #how overwhelmed by grief and horror he must be; having to kill things that look like proko over and over again #do you ever think about Kavinsky burning himself to the ground in his desperation to see his Proko again? #AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! #prokopenko #joseph kavinsky #the dream thieves #proko #the dream pack #prokopinsky #I know I'm not being very eloquent lol but just herlahlrhluahrgarheg

[sapphicsnzs]

started crying over a tik tok…turns out i have a low grade fever

#self obs #if you’ve seen the orange cat black cat tik tok which is so niche but oh well #anyways i cried and tears keeps rolling down my face like im so dramatic when i have a low grade fever #i’m so tired but i’m scared if i go to sleep im gonna have really awful dreams #i’m just overthinking everything right now and i’m so stressed i just need to cry it out lol #i’m gonna wake up in the morning and realize how dramatic i am like it’s barely a fever get over yourself

[kevin-sedai]

The vibe really deteriorated as the day went on, and now I'm sitting in bed, awake, feeling like garbage

#it was an okay weekend but i was jittery and numb for most of it #tried to write christmas cards for the first time in 2 years. cried while doing so and then had to lie down after i did 5 #i got frustrated with the story i'm writing and considered dropping it or deleting the whole thing #spent friday alone pretty much all day which normally i'm fine with but for whatever reason made the loneliness really hit hard this time #spent all thanksgiving day waiting for a familial confrontation #got asked by my 6 year old nephew how old i was and then he followed up with 'well why arent you married what are you doing' #which i'm pretty sure is something he heard in a conversation someone else was having and he repeated it bc he's 6 fucking years old #which btw i don't hold against him or am mad at him about bc he's an innocent kid #but that made me feel really shitty #spent an hour today panicking about this dog virus #and in between all of that i was self diagnosing myself with mental illnesses #which made me feel awful bc it made gaslight myself in thinking maybe i wanted one? #which is so fucked up to the max and i'm so sorry for even putting that here #but i put this all here bc i could never have this conversation with people irl #they'd get too worried or they'd think i'm overreacting or i need to date or need to do something with myself besides read #i'm so sorry everyone #i'll try to be better #i just had to put this out somewhere #and i didn't put this in a journal bc my last entry sounds so teenagerish out of context i don't even want to look at it #anyway i have to try to sleep i have to go into the office early tomorrow #i'm sorry guys #i really am😔

[astrito]

"Lo que es estar como tuna"

An animation based on @mscribbles's omentio piggyback comic !!

More about it under the cut:

Damn you're actually here. ok...... /j

This is the first short film I've ever made! It was an uni assignment done in the span of a week and I was the only one working on it.

Would you believe me if I said that the hardest part was translating the dialogues? I had to closely examine the ESP version of Super Paper Mario to know these character's way of speaking, plus adapt the dialogues so that the original intent and meaning was kept...... that shit is hard!!!!!! translators have my utmost respect lol

The second hardest thing was getting timing right because I did not have time to make an animatic. I really was just going with what felt right. I think I did a decent job at that...!

Something I really liked about the process was the pre-production phase because that's when I had to do the vectors for the characters! To be honest with you I felt like a caveman every time I learnt literally anything new about Illustrator........ is this how people feel when I tell them about Moho????

...Oh well!!! There's some things I'd def change of the animation but overall I'm seriously proud of this, and!!! and!!!

...I hope you liked it as much as I did!!!!

astro out!!!!

#dimentio #o'chunks #omentio #dunks spm #mimi spm #super paper mario #spm #anim-astro #art-strito #cries like that one video of the baby with reverb #WJEHRJEKWHJ im glad im proud enough to ignore my damn shyness and just post this. its good methinks #also if anyone has questions about how i did something you can ask:3 #the other day I showed this to my friends and i was very very happy to answer their questions hehe #reminder to self. i have to post this on fb lol #also gODD i gotta go sleep. classes........ terrible....... imagine pursuing the career of your dreams since you were a wee child.... #imagine.... ewwww /j

[ccuriousmischieff]

.

#it’d be so nice to just function normally buuuuuuuut nope. I hurt own my feelings last night and cried myself to sleep. I haaaaaate it here #I was doing really well too with not being so hard on myself 😞 #and because of all of this I want to start self isolating again

[espectres]

❝ 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙪, 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙚𝙧? ❞

#i can't sleep so y'all get a tiny edit #of my fave moment ever #I'll never get the way his eyes shine when his father listens to him for ONCE. #and asks him for help too #making him feel like A SON!!!!!@ #for ONCE!!!!!!!! #cries so much i drown in my tears #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; edits. #ショウ ; winter shed blood & sweetness of the summer. / self. #my soft son whom i love sm #親父。/ for the son in your arms and the blood in your hands.

[gaygryffindorgal]

hp ww1 era; my sister’s brother’s keeper

“it doesn't take a whole long life to realize that what we deserve to have, we rarely get.”

proteus and ares gaunt by yours truly

melv and kit enfield by @potionboy3​

#hp ww1 era #proteus gaunt #ares gaunt #melv enfield #kit enfield #*mine #fuckkkk i made myself sad #isn't it funny that melv is the only one who actually doesnt die horribly #i think that's super funny #*cries self to sleep*

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

I’ve got one. Probably not terribly insightful, but…what’s it like being a cougar? How did you realise you were one? I myself am actually a cat (tiger, jaguar), but I’m always interested in what other’s experiences as other animals are like, and quite like cougars. Do you find any fun in it? Is it purely serious?

:000

Its alright, uhmmm let me get my thoughts together for a second.

Its, honestly very interesting. A lot of it feels so much more like a house cat sort of way, I guess? Im not too instinctual as a cougar when im passively tuning in. I've spent so long being one it can be hard to pick out what it's like honestly.

Theres a huge pull to any sort of habitat. Arizonian deserts, forests, grasslands, mountains, it's so strange having so many places call to me, which was actually one defining factor to me figuring out i was a cougar.

Cougars relate so closely to house cats behavior-wise that I thought I was a house cat for a hot minute there. I've always been drawn to them in a way? I also live in their range, so I'm not shocked that Im a very passive cougar. It's like I'm safe in my home range and dont have to worry. (Like im not even kidding a few weeks ago a cougar walked down our street and it was on the news :D)

and i mean like, i was just kind of putting the puzzle pieces together on the floor (mentally) about my identity, and it all just suddenly clicked. Wish I could say it changed my whole life, I just kind of felt like I already knew and haven't really worried about my identity too much since. It's always been a peace and just a knowing that I was right. And I'm glad i figured it out so soon too.

I mean like, there is both serious and fun parts! Like getting phantoms while you are blasting music and feeling like a badass; or waking up in the morning, putting on a shirt and suddenly you begin having a physical flare and you start to grow fur on your back for no reason... Or or, mentally shifting and just a joy that fills you.

I used to be much more serious when I was younger (makes me sound old lol); mental shifting every day, researching everything I could for weeks on end, Journaling... I was very intense, almost to the point to complete obsession. Nowadays I just exist and let myself be a cougar, and I've had much more progress in these last few weeks in discovering than I did when I was pushing so hard.

Im so glad tp be where I am right now, its a mix of both serious and having fun. Might as well have fun, it's who I am going to be my whole life.

Thank you for the ask, I really appreciate it ^^ I love making posts like this :D

#nonhuman #mountain lion.txt #physical nonhuman #nonhuman things #mental shifting #awakeningg #I live being a cougar so much #i used to have a lot of recessions and sort of radio silence on being an animal #nowadays I just am all the time #I reached that goal without even trying #unlike when I was younger when I cried myself to sleep because I thought I would never be who I wanted to be #i just want to give my past self a hug tbh #thank you for the ask #:DDDD

[llumimoon]

gn thinking abt them (Dot and Sparrow)

#cal rambles #its pretty late idk if anyones gonna see this LMAO #i got too in the zone while drawing and now its 2 am and i have class tomorrow. OOPS #little hint ig abt what that drawing is LMAO #I JUSY. THEM CRIES #something abt meeting this child. who's been a child for ages ! and who knows you so deeply but only knew your past child self #it's literally sparrow as an adult having to face his own childhood whimsy and curiosity and spirit #in Dot's head. Sparrow is still that lovewolf #and even if they're afraid he's changed too much that maybe they will be considered too much of a danger after all #that loyalty and heart still shines through when they need it #OUGH #its just. Dot brings the lovewolf out of Sparrow bc to them it was never lost #and all Dot ever wanted was a steady parentsl figure who protected them and supported them and loved them #and like. i think abt Sparrow giving the Doodler it's name ALL THE TIME. GENUINELY #something abt how in s1 Sparrow refered to the Doodler as his spawn his creation #i just think its funny but also fitting for that to follow through in the future LMAO #they r just SOOO ON THE BRAIN #but i need to sleep JSVEJDJFF so thats all #i love them <3 hehehehe #i meant to say reigniting help #sorry i usually give up when theres a typo in my tags that i didnt catch but like #literally changes the phrase to the opposite of what i meant if i don't clarify LMAOO #doodle dot au

[osomatsusanki]

My project sekai OC, Tenma Riku:

Tsukasa's twin brother who was born second. He turned inwards when Saki got hospitalized and fights depression.

social recluse who barely ever leaves his room

has a hard time expressing himself through words

has an inferiority complex because of Tsukasa's achievements. he feels like he's nothing compared to his brother who can do anything

they're on good terms, but Riku secretly has a lot of pent up anger because of this

he feels like Saki loves Tsukasa more than him because his brother has a more direct way of showing his love while Riku doesn't know how to communicate his feelings

he gave up on playing the piano. he was never very good at it and didn't have it in him to keep trying

he's a fan of Nightcord at 25:00

attends evening classes with Ena

outside of school, he only wears black

his voice is soft and timid. he has a mild stutter

wants to join the school chorus but he's scared of singing in front of people

loves cats

has a pet spider that Tsukasa hates

gamer

started talking to Nene through an online game years ago and they're friends who play together a lot

he's also friends with Touya. Riku does library duty with him at school sometimes

he's good with computers and asked Rui if he'd help him improve his coding skills. Rui is really kind to him and treats him completely different from Tsukasa. also he loves the spider

Riku feels comfortable with Rui. he always looks forward to spending time with him again

he has a torrented version of the vocaloid software and writes his own songs using Rin and Len

most of them are sad and some of them are angry

left handed

hates crowds

lives in constant fear of people mistaking him for Tsukasa and approaching him while he's out

the only time he was glad that it happened was when he stopped to listen to Kohane's street performance on the way home from therapy. they talked a little afterwards and he explained that they're twins

he might have a crush on her

one time Saki lost a toy she really liked, and he used all his money to buy her a new one, then gave it to her as if he found it. a long time later, Saki found the actual toy she lost and felt really moved

she actually loves both her brothers the same, even if Riku doesn't feel that way

The forest sekai:

Riku wishes he could go outside more, but he hates the presence of other people. He also loves singing, but only has the courage to do so when he's home alone. These feelings manifest as a sekai where he can sing to his heart's content in a beautiful forest.

In the middle, there's a big clearing where the sun always shines and a set of two swings. A path through the forest leads to the shore with a lighthouse. Sometimes they host tea parties with Miku, Rin, and Len. The wild animals inhabiting the sekai often come around as well.

The other three virtual singers appear as cats who like to meow or mrow along to the melody. Riku loves them a lot, sometimes they play or nap together in the sun. Kaito is a big softie, Luka is really fluffy but sort of a tsundere, and Meiko loves playing, especially with the toys Riku brings them himself.

There's a koi pond, and a lot of room to build sandcastles by the lighthouse. They stay in the same state forever unless the person who made it destroys the castle themselves.

#if you think that he's holding the tsukasa pillow bc i didn't want to put in the effort... well you're not wrong lmao #but also i like to think that their parents offered him his own pillow too he just didn't want it #& i like how it could be a hint at his inferiority complex. he keeps comparing himself to tsukasa and it just feeds his depression further #so he has a complicated relationship with him even if riku is always kind and supportive of tsukasa on the surface #and tsukasa loves him and tries to help. but he has no idea how often riku cries himself to sleep alone in his room #i imagine his voice sounds like nanase riku's from i7 (that's unrelated to his name though) #i didn't include self indulgent parts but. there's a reason why there's two swings next to each other in the forest sekai. and it's me dsgf #anyway feel free to ignore that. but we like to sing there together or just swing or just sit and hold hands.. #i didn't include it in the main text either but the sekai song is toaru ikka no tea party by kururingo. it's one of my faves #thanks for reading #i love riku so much #kinda want to write about him #prsk #prsk oc #oc #project sekai #tenma riku

[alcohol-eyes]

.

#2 whole weeks sobeR let’s talk abt it #this the longest I’ve gone without a crumb of weed in my system in 5 yrs and the second longest in 8 yrs #For a long long time I thought I was self medicating the adhd but turns out I was making it Significantly worse #I have an attention span now I can watch tv without scrolling on my phone or playing w fidget toys #My apartment has stayed perfectly clean for the past 2 wks #haven’t rly struggled with eating or sleeping routines are v important wit it tho #been relying heavily on safe foods I’ve eaten the same exact thing every day for 2 weeks but it’s fine #ashwagandha helps me not wanna peel my skin off in rage #time moves INSANELY slower when ur not h*gh every waking second of the day these have been the Longest 2 wks of my life #but also I have So Much more time to do things and SO much more energy to do the things #I thought being anxious and exhausted was just my constant state of being but turns out that was Also just the weed #The insane nightmares have been The hardest part but most of the time my dreams are just weird #Feeling emotions is weird I’ve cried more in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 2 years #I cry about good things I cry about beautiful things art as a whole is just so moving #self regulating after stressful things like work or staying with my parents is definitely New as w as decompressing after socializing w ppl #I do things like paint and journal and make silly little bracelets now #Idk man it just hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be #A few months ago me and ******** were talking about how we’d actually k word ourselves without it #turns out the jazz cabb was making my depression and anxiety so much worse than it actually is #shits literally fine #Anyways don’t let ppl tell u u can’t develop an unhealthy relationship w weed I was h*gh every waking second of my day for 5 yrs #Last time I tried this I immediately became an alcoholic instead this time I don’t even feel the desire to have a single little drink #Overall I have A Lot more self control in every single area of my life #I don’t waste my money on dumb shit I can eat normal amount of food like a normal person #The thought of buying my favorite cookies and only having like Two of them used to be such an unreasonable concept to my little brain #I don’t know if this is gonna be a permanent thing I definitely know I can’t do it habitually #just like I learned I can be normal about alcohol if I don’t keep it in my house and only do it when socializing for special occasions #anyways if ur thinking about taking a break from ur favorite substance maybe give it a try #thx for coming 2 my ted talk if u read the whole thing I luv u take care of urself