#*note to myself: Googles 'who is Rain Man'*

[the-s1lly-corner]

Shut In (Eyeless Jack x reader oneshot!)

Basic plot: its really cold outside, and you urge Jack to stay in your home with you... he decides to stay despite knowing full well that he will be fine out in the freezing temperatures. You both decide to do things to pass the time and stay warm! Turns out Jack can make a mean cup of hot coco, too

Extra notes: I dont usually write fanfics, and the last one I've written was a personal one from late August... so to say I'm rusty and underexperienced is an understatement! I feel this one ended up a little.. weirdly paced imo but I think I'm still happy with the end result! Dialogue I feel I could have done better on but I'm going to be nice to myself since I mostly write hc posts so this is way out of my comfort zone.. Drafted on Tumblr then sent through google docs to pick up on some mistakes I missed, briefly reread no proper proof reading imo... lets hope this isnt a train wreck + it copied back to tumblr okay!! LMAO

Brief joke about pregnancy/making a pregnancy but its like one small snippet but I know that can make people uncomfortable + implies at least one of the characters is AFAB

Word Count: 2915

Extra Admin's note: I want to say again that I am so so happy about this blog hitting 1k followers, when I first started this blog I was originally going to use it to burn time and have something to do on the side, as well as having a place to put out my cringe ideas and hcs. I never thought this many people would be interested in my dumb thoughts, but here we are! I intend to keep writing this year, and perhaps even make more non-celebratory one shots this year? Maybe? I don't know I guess we'll see the reception on this fic!

It was the middle of the night, around the middle of January. Your boyfriend and you were holed up inside your apartment, you having locked the man up with you after seeing that it was below freezing out, as well as raining. You had to practically beg your boyfriend to stay with you for the night.

Your boyfriend, who also just so happened to be a man eating demon with tar dripping out of his hollowed out eye sockets. Your boyfriend, who was currently sitting still and staring forward, the only sound in the apartment coming from the dripping of your faucet. You had asked him to come visit you, it'd been a while... and he would never ever let you go to his cabin when it's this cold out. So here you both were now.

You pat the palms of your hands on your knees, sucking in one of your cheeks and working the flesh through your jaws for a moment. You were both technically stuck in the apartment now; you didn't want Jack to go out and risk getting sick, and Jack more than likely wouldn't want you to step out for the same reasons. So, you were both confined to what you already had within the space. You were about to open your mouth to speak but Jack broke the silence first. "You're shivering, do you want me to get some blankets?", blunt and almost robotic. He was never that expressive. "Or would you like to go to your room?" He added after a brief pause, his fangs poking just over his lip before he readjusted his mouth. You were both in the living room, sitting together on the couch; the front door to your left and a view of the kitchen to the right. You thought for a minute as your eyes lingered on the kitchen for a moment. You'd already eaten, before your partner arrived... but..

"That's fine, I'm probably going to make some hot coco," You pulled yourself up, stretching up. "Powdered stuff ooor..?" Jack mimicked you. You only shook your head, earning a disapproving look from him. "What?" You questioned, but he only dismissed you. "Why don't you get some blankets, I'll handle it," and he turned on his heel to make his way to the kitchen. "Maybe put on a movie, too, your choice." He added as his voice carried off. "Are you saying I can't cook?" You called back, following after him. No answer as he tugged out a pot. "I'll have you know-" you started once more

"Do you have half and half?" He was already opening your pantry to grab things.

"No, I don't,"

"Heavy cream? Whipping cream? Whatever it's called..." He mumbled as he placed various ingredients on the counter. Cocoa powder, vanilla, salt and sugar. You only nodded, and as he was about to begin working he paused. "Do you want anything else in it? Cinnamon? Nutmeg?" He paused and through gritted teeth, "Coffee?"

It was almost midnight, of course he would be opposed to you having caffeine so late.

"Cinnamon is fine," You watched him get to work. He measured everything out; even mixing the heavy cream with some milk to make a substitute for half and half.... was that really all it was? You weren't sure what you expected it to be, if it weren't..

He pulled his head up and stared at you. It was then that you noticed he had actually taken his mask off and set it at the end of the counter and out of the way. The black ooze dripping from his eyes was slow and posed little threat to dripping into your drink. He had a fistful of napkins on standby to dap his face dry should the flow quicken. "Aren't you going to get the blankets?"

You pat your hands on your thighs, pausing... watching him. His body had a warm glow on him from the old light bulb in the ceiling; it flickered every now and then. Under the yellowed light he almost looked healthy and alive, though there was no glint where his eyes should have been. His sharp nail tapping on the counter brought you back to the moment, blinking a few times. "Yeah.." you mumbled, defeated at the chance of making a drink for yourself stolen from you. But was that so bad?

You backed out of the kitchen, dragging your feet across the floor. Your apartment was.. a little on the smaller side so within a few steps you were in front of your bedroom door. You didn't really pay much attention to your surroundings as you shuffled through the blankets on the bed.. eventually you settled on just grabbing an arm full and waddling back to the living room, dumping everything you had grabbed onto the couch.

The house smelled of cinnamon and chocolate.. with a hint of vanilla.

Turning your gaze to the tv, your eyes scanned across the DVDs you had stacked messily. Nothing sounded good. "Is there anything you want specifically?" You called out as you settled yourself down criss cross in front of the tv and pulling all the cases onto the floor next to you. "Movie wise," You added as you pulled the first case into your hands. The DVD collection for Child's Play.. you had gotten it a few weeks ago, finding it on sale at your local store. You still hadn't popped it in to watch..

"I have.. Chucky, uhm..." You shuffled for the next case. "All the movies by the way.. I have that and.. most of the Friday the 13th movies," You called out. No answer, the only sound coming from the kitchen was the noise of a whisk gently being stirred. "I don't have Jason goes to hell... But!" You pulled out a third case with the Nightmare on Elm Street DVDs. "I DO have Freddy vs Jason," You mumbled and spread the three disks on the floor in front of you. Most of the disks you had, you noticed, were mostly older slasher movies. Still, Jack hadn't answered you. You pull yourself to your feet and trudge back into the kitchen. His back was to you, too preoccupied with the stove... He hadn't noticed you, not yet. An idea blossomed in your head, a smirk pulling itself across your lips. You steeled yourself, trying to force yourself to stop shivering.. Jack was always paying attention to his surroundings, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

You take a step forward and he still doesn't notice your approach.

Another step.

And another.

Jack wasn't the tallest, in fact if you wanted to you could rest your chin on his shoulder... and that's what you ended up doing, while wrapping your arms around his thick waist. You could feel his body seize up just a little bit against you, before relaxing. "You didn't answer, what sounds good?" You pulled your eyes down to look at the pot. Your drink was nearly finished. You view rocked as your boyfriend shrugged, still silent but the twitching of his pointed ears let you know he was listening.

"Anything's fine," Another shrug as he cuts the heat. "You're the one cooking for me, you get to pick the movie," You insisted. He paused mid-whisk, letting out a soft huff. Suddenly he spun around, his face just a few inches from yours. In the dimmed light his eye sockets seemed deeper, it's black ooze lazily dripping down his cheeks. You noticed the smudges on his face, from wiping the streaks. You briefly wondered what it was like to sleep with them, but your thoughts were cut short as he pulled a blackened and clawed hand to your hair; tucking a lock behind your ear. "How does...." He paused, sucking in his teeth. He looked almost embarrassed. "Bride of Chucky sound?"

"What? Want to study the characters again so we can dress up again this year for Halloween?" You tease. You had convinced him a few months ago to dress up with you. With him as Chucky, and you as Tiffany... It had taken some begging and convincing but you ultimately got him to agree. Although you didn't go out to get candy, you were both fine with staying inside watching movies together in costume. It was also that night you got him to watch the movies..

His ears darkened, before he scoffed. "No... actually this year I was thinking of..." He took a long pause, visibly scraping his brain for names of characters, before seemingly giving up. "Look I don't watch many movies I don't know any.. characters.." He grimaced, before gently pushing you off of him so he could turn his attention back to the hot cocoa. "We've still got nine months, more than enough time to come up with something..." You shrugged, then smirked. "Not enough time to make a Glen... or Glenda," You teased before turning on your heel. You held back a snicker as you heard Jack splutter, finally processing what you had just said to him.

"W-"

"I'm gonna go ahead and put in the disc, I'll leave it paused for you," You cut him off, still grinning to yourself as you kneeled down to do as you had said.

Soon enough Jack walked into the room with a mug, as well as a platter of cookies. "You didn't have to," You mumbled as you eyed the treats, but he only waved you off as he placed the plate and mug onto the coffee table. "You don't have to eat them, but I figured you might want a snack while watching the movie," He mumbled. You took the mug, and swirled the drink inside of it. "I hope I didn't put in too much cinnamon," Jack added as he watched you. He leaned over and started the movie.

You took a sip, smiling a little as the warmness crept in. "You did good, probably the best hot cocoa I've ever had." You offered a grin to him. "That has got to be the fakest compliment I've ever heard," Jack shot back, though you could see the corners of his mouth turning up just slightly. "Oh, I'm sorry! I believe this is the most decadent and satisfying beverage I've had ever been graced with in my life, and-" You began, only for Jack to hush you. "I'd rather you throw it on me, don't... say words like that again," He grumbled as readjusted himself into the couch. You took a sip and shrugged, "It's just absolutely immaculate," and he lightly smacked you on the arm. "I'm never making anything for you again," He snorted, before turning his attention to the movie.

You weren't going to lie, you felt a little bad treating yourself to the cookies, knowing Jack was unable to eat them without upsetting his stomach. Being a man-eating monster must really be hard. You purse your lips, and shoot a look at him from the corner of your eye. He must have been doing the same, because he turned his head to look at you. "Do you want to do something else?" He asked lightly, his grin from a few minutes ago already faded. "Do you ever miss eating.. food?" You asked before you could stop yourself. He didn't bother pausing the movie, instead he just fell silent and stared down, into the space between the two of you on the couch.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up, I know it's a touchy subject for you," You mumbled and put the mug on the table. You sucked in the air between your teeth, flicking your eyes up to the movie, before bringing them back down to your lap. It stayed like that for a minute before Jack broke the silence. "I mean... yeah, I do. But at least I don't have to eat every day like you do, means I can have more time to do what I want," He said. Clearly, he was still bothered, tip-toeing around the big.. thing about him. The air was still tense and thick, all of the previous joking gone now. It was nearly unbearable. Nearly.

"You know," Jack began after a few more seconds of silence when you didn't reply. "I've never tried cinnamon in hot cocoa, I didn't know that was a thing people did," He was changing the subject. "You haven't?" You asked, raising a brow. He eyed your mug, but you both knew there was no way he was going to take a sip.

"It's really good," You mumbled, and took the drink, "The combo, I mean," You added. He hummed, patting his knees lightly. You swirled the drink again, watching the... what was it called? Those lighter swirls in the drink.. Did that have a name?

"You've had hot cocoa before, right?" You asked. He hummed again, nodding his head. "Well.. the cinnamon makes it warm. Taste wise.. It makes it.." You took a sip and thought for a minute. "Richer, I guess? It's hard to explain," You muttered, then looked back at him. You tore your eyes back down when you saw he was looking right at you, totally hooked onto your words. "I hear nutmeg goes good in it, too.. but I've only tried nutmeg and chocolate together in baked goods," You shrugged. "You did really good with this, you know... not too much cinnamon.. not spicy, at least." You smiled. He nodded, before turning back to the movie.

"Woody, I hear people describe cinnamon like that," He leaned back into the couch, a dull pop came from his back.

"Woody," You repeated, then took a large sip of the hot cocoa. You put the mug down onto the table, and leaned into your boyfriend as the warmth crept and settled into your bones. You weren't even paying attention to the movie, your mind was now occupied with how tired you were. Your eyes slipped up to the clock on the wall, It was nearly one in the morning. Had it only been an hour since Jack walked himself into the kitchen?

You lean deeper into Jack, not caring about his body's natural chill. His clothing still smelled a little like the cocoa from earlier.. "Gotta invest in some cologne, you smell nice like this," You mumbled into his arm. "The cinnamon?" He asked, not looking down at you. "No.. the cocoa, I mean cinnamon would be a nice touch... but you don't seem like a sweet smelling guy, do you?" You muttered. "Are you already getting tired?" Jack asked, and he leaned over you to grab the remote, pausing the movie. You muttered, the heat of the hot cocoa doing way more than you expected on the tiredness you didn't notice you had. "A little," You shrugged, "But we can still try to finish the movie," You offered, but he shook his head. Of course he would, as much of a hard ass or party pooper he came off as, he was going to make sure you were going to get your rest.

You put your hand in his, the one that had the remote.. you unpaused the movie. He paused it, and you unpaused it again. It kind of kept up like this before Jack conceited and kept it playing, although he did lower the volume.. The subtitles were already on, though. "I win," You smirked up at him, before crawling into his lap. You placed your head on his chest, pausing when you felt him stiffen before relaxing against you. His heart beat for a moment before settling to its barely there rhythm. For a minute you thought about asking about his heart, as far as you knew he explained himself like he was becoming a walking corpse... how does that work?

You decided against it, you already asked about him earlier.. and besides, your mind was already beginning to blank as Jack reached to the side of the couch, and turned the lamp off.. It was dark now. It was still raining, you could more clearly hear the drops outside now that the movie was turned down. Plus, Jack was running his fingers through your hair, lightly massaging your scalp. It wouldn't be long until you finally gave in and fell asleep.

"Are you going to still be here in the morning?" You asked, melting into his chest as he hummed in response. "Plan on it, I still need to clean up the kitchen," He added as he curled your hair around his hand. "It'll still be cold in the morning," He added, "I need to make sure you bundle up before you go out for work," He added. "I'm not that dumb," You muttered and lightly slapped his arm. You swear, if he still had his eyes he would have rolled them.

"How do you see? I know you're not.. a normal person, but," You blurted out, lifting your head. He pushed your face back down, shushing you. "Sleep," He ordered, before loosening his hold on you a bit so you could get comfortable. It wasn't an order but it may as well have been with how your body started to loosen into him within the next few minutes, quickly snuffling out your curiosity and questions.

He'd still be here in the morning, you could pester him then. After all, it's what he signed up for when the two of you started to date one another..

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta imagine #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack imagine #creepypasta fanfic #eyeless jack fanfic

[kalims]

rating my moots,

cause why not?!

note that I didn't add everyone since I felt too shy to tag em aksbsnna

1. @kalimsstan

9/10 because I've never had a fan account before, the interview was very fun and I cackled when I saw the AMOUNT OF TAGS USED WHEN I CHANGED MY THEME AJSBSJ

2. @ravenlking

9/10!! guys meet my editor in quotev. raven is very patient and fun to talk to ☺ its always a great time where we manage to strike a conversation together

3. @not-idia-shroud

10/10. ah yes, rain. remember when we literally never chat at the same time in discord? BYE I BE WAITING FOR A RESPONSE AND WHEN I GET IT ITS THE NEXT DAY

4. @v-anrouge

8/10. because we actually haven't interacted much and we mooted when I saw that they follow me and I followed them in turn cause they seem like a cool person!

5. @twistedlotus

7/10. IDK WHEN THIS HAPPENED HLP UMMM... HI ELARIA U HAVE A NICE NAME??? 😭

6. @a-hollow-angel

10/10. I swear they work a full time job liking all my posts 😩 like I fr post once then I get a notification immediately.. it doesn't matter when it happens,, THEY JUST DO JT

7. @merotwst

11/10!! ellie da best and I've known her for like.. LESS THAN A MONTH?? A MONTH?? MORE THAN A MONTH?!?!? idk man basta. she had big lady balls if steel (which she said somewhere in discord I just don't remember the specifics)

8. @myujis

10/10. vivi i miss u 🥺😭.. anyways yh I actually got confused on who myuji was then I saw it was vivi and went: OHH

9. @akiville3

12/10 MISOOOOOOO HIIIIIIII <333333 NEED I SAY MORE?!

10. @hytyyto

8/10. HEYOOO I barely do talk with yall and am sorry but I'm very busy.. 😭 PLS TALK TO ME IF UCAN I WILL TALK WIT U <3

11. @yuistan

8/10. not as close as well but I will spoonfeed my moots a handful of chicken soup you know.. unless other soup if you don't like chicken 😚

12. @spadecentral

9/10. very nice, sends me sweet stuff 🥺 ngl highkey keeps confusing myself who ellie and eli is.. 😭

13. @malleusball

10/10 one of my longest moots ever! we go WAYYY BACK even in the most atrocious times I don't want to remember <3

14. @kerosenesin

10/10. I THINK U IS DUST?? LEONALOVER69???pls I double checked if i mistook u as someone else again.. SAY LEONA IF UR THEM

15. @chenyann

10/10. yako i started panicking when I didn't see ur user on my following page but turns out I was just being blind. anywaysss ily

16. @twstwonderlandstuff

8/10. AYEEE ANOTHER FELLOW WRITER! on a side note, when a blog I like follows me you know I'm following back ASAP, destroying the screen type shit

17. @zgvlt

13/10. IDK WHY BUT NATHYA IS JUST 13 POINTS. I love her works sm as well as the graphic designs of her posts!! it's so aesthetically pleasing to me eyes I'm cryin (the one follow I could NOT GET OVER FOR DAYS)

18. @riddlesimp

8/10. ANGELLLL HALLOOO we haven't talked much despite us being moots for a long time ong 😭😭 angel is very sweet and apparently my daughter in law

19. @zeina-is-bored

2/10 (/J) MINUS SIX BECAUSE YOU DIDNT INVITE ME TO THR WEDDING. ☹☹☹😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😭😭😭

20. @rggie

11/10. if there's someone other than nathya with amazing graphics it's definitely mal. I can see the effort put into her theme!! gods I swear all of her blog is all connected to one theme and I love it!! IS U OK THO BABES??

21. @arent-i-the-fairest

8/10. cutieee!! love the works, I love me a bunch of neige works I can binge read <3 every1 should appreciate the rsa writers I swear

22. @achy-boo

1/10 (/j) I swear the friendship we have is so chaotic, WEVE INSULTED EACH OTHER MQNY TIMES AND CALLED EACH OTHER BITCHES QKSHKAKQ

23. @dicetheroll

8/10. see you soon dice! good luck on your finals.. when i first followed dice i immediately ran straight to the OM!works once I saw they wrote. It was AMAZING

24. @scara-lovebot

9/10. you are the one that shaped our minion coochie gc theme <3 my most prominent memory of you was the minion tampons era

25. @jabberwockk

8/10. chris :o was the one that answered me patiently when my dumbass didn't go to google for a fat answer when I asked for the birthdays of the characters.. we had a crisis about being broke together

26. @soldmygenderforglitter

9/10. I MISS U BAEEEEEE.. ilysm for talking to me in dms in tumblr for nearly everyday! I'm so sorry bout the late replies sometimes t-t I hope ur doing well babes

27. @celiapoststuff

10/10. MY CHILDSDDDDDDDDDD who adopted ME instead of the other way around lololol. love ya celia and your like for xiao and kalpas

28. @dr3amscap3

3/10 omg we haven't talked so long bt I GIVE U A 3 (JOKINGLY) BECAUSE U STARTED THE RICKROLL ROSA CHAIN AND NOW I CANT GET AWAY FROM RICK ASTLEY AND THE RICKROLLS 😭😭😭

29. @ravynous

1921739/10. THE BEST PERSON I SWEAR. RAVY ILYSMMMN <333 ur always there for me and so supportive.. how are you doing bae 😭💞 I hope ur kicking finals ass instead of the other way around

30. @raix-lv

1038171/10 REMEMBER WHEN WE MET THROUGH THE NEIGR ARTICLE JEEZ THAT WAS SO CHAOTIC. anyways, I can definitely say rai is one of my closest moots. GIRL WHERE HAVE U BEEN

31. @hxnarii

192911/10 we became moots after my vent post I think?? I thought u were really nice & kind so I followed u. GODS I DONT EVER REGRET MEETING UR RANDOM BRAIN (also ty for the pjsekai acc yknow yknow <3)

32. @nanamisflowerfield

11/10. OK LISTEN WE BARELT TALKED. the last thing I remember is the manhwa reccs but nanami is so sweet I swear YOU CAN SEE IT ON HER BLOG ITSELF SHES SO NICE

33. @honey-milk-depresso

192719/10 MY FIRST EVER MOOT AND YES I REMEMBER. I've seen honey around when I was writing for genshin her comments were so sweet! even though she keeps denying her love for the three men I still love her <3 mwa

34. @cynthinesia

9/10. I had to edit to add u SRYYYY UHMMM WERE U THE CATER PISS BOTTLE SOMETHING PERSON

35. @cupids-chamber

-12028/10 JOKES ON YOU IT ISNT BEST FOR LAST 👿 you never forget to remind me of the rickrolls (aka bane of my existence) THR AMOUNT OF CHAOS IN UR SERVER I SWEAR. DONT THIK I FORGOT THE TIME WHERE I JOINED ONE OF UR SERVERS AND IMMEDIATELY GOT RICKROLLED NOT EVEN 5 SECS IN

THERES MORE BUT NABSKA

gods did I have that much moots

#★ — rating my moots #★ — chats

[bulundu]

I posted 2,716 times in 2022

86 posts created (3%)

2,630 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@skeetsk

@collegiatitanica

@elytrians

@valen-dreth

@thewolfamongussy

I tagged 1,085 of my posts in 2022

#yugioh - 143 posts

#fallout 4 - 68 posts

#pokemon - 60 posts

#skyrim - 58 posts

#bby - 44 posts

#seto kaiba - 42 posts

#yu yu hakusho - 34 posts

#fallout new vegas - 23 posts

#joey wheeler - 23 posts

#stardew valley - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#honestly tho i should get that job just because i stayed up late and skipped showering and my laundry just to update my resume and apply

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

75 years later. And I am finally doing the Dawngaurd dlc for Skyrim lmao 🧛‍♀️

I literally have no idea what this dlc involves besides vampires and meeting that Serana chick. Never met her before. Let's see if she lives up to the hype.

13 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#4

Our young man turns 6 today! I'm sad it's raining so he can't get a walk, and also I have to work a lot so I haven't been able to get a present (yet). But he's still as handsome, round, healthy, and happy as ever. And that's what matters. 💕👑🎂

Bonus pic minus the instagram story flair.

14 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#3

Sexuality is weird. I don't really put a lot of thought into it anymore, but sometimes it gets to you. I haven't "liked" or wanted someone in so long, I half started thinking I was ace, or that maybe i was faking being bi all this time. But no, apparently I just don't put a lot of romantic or sexual thought towards someone unless it's possibly reciprocated. A lady makes a sexual joke to me? I'm in a frenzy. A man makes a sweet flirtation? I want to tear him open like a opposum looking for garbage - in a good way.

So I'm not asexual, I'm not somehow lying to myself about being bi. I just assume no one's interested. And once it's possible they are, the long absent heart returns - and the horny.

Go figure. 🤷‍♀️

14 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#2

Dear google, how do I keep my best work friend from fucking the world's biggest piece of shit at our work, sincerely and beseechingly a lady who is dying inside.

18 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Karen: What's wrong, Arthur?

Arthur: I've been killing innocent people... I don't know why...

Me: And I don't know when. What the fuck are talking about, Arthur?? You've killed like 5 bandits and that's it.

Arthur: And I've been killing animals for no reason..

Me: YOU'VE BEEN HUNTING?? FOR FOOD??? FOR YOUR CAMP????

Arthur: I am a terrible man..

Me: ?????????

322 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[voxmortuus]

Hello, how are you doing today? I hope that you are having a good day. If you are, then yayyyy !!! If not, then that's okay ! It gets better. I wanna say that you are amazing and I love your work/writings so much ! I find myself reading them over and over because they actually make my day so much better. So I wanna thank you 🖤

If it is okay with you, may I please request something ?

If you could, I would please like a poly ( if you write poly, if you don't, ignore this ask. ) Hannibal/Will x reader. Reader just got out of a toxic relationship and leaves to go dance in the rain to the song Happier than Ever by Billie Eilish. And they comfort them afterwards.

Thank you for considering this ask, I hope that you have a good day

P.S - here's another request :

Have a wonderful week 😊

Aww, hon, thank you for your kind words so much! I greatly appreciate it and I am glad they can make your days better!

PAIRING: Hannibal x Fem!Reader

UNIVERSE: Hannibal

WORDS: 452

SUMMARY/PROMPT: See above <3

Happier Than Ever - Billie Eilish

Trigger Warning(s): Mention of toxic relationship | Implied smut | PLEASE TELL ME IF I FORGOT ANYTHING!!! I want to make sure readers are fully aware of what they are getting themselves into when they read this…

NOTE: Sorry if this isn't what you expected, I'm hoping this finds you well love!

IMAGE CREDIT: Google I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THESE IMAGES. If these are yours or you know who the creator(s) is please INBOX me and let me know. Thank you.

My Master Masterlist | Hannibal Masterlist | Taglist

REQUESTS: 500 FOLLOWER EVENT REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN UNTIL AUGUST 15TH!

It was like the world was mute to you, people could talk, but you heard no sounds, people could yell, and you heard no sounds. The world around you was void of sound, except the one sound... the music coming from your car. The world stops, the people around were gone, it was empty, and you were all on your own.

The rain had started, and you felt this relief wash over you. You were free, free at last. That man was out of your life, and you had this moment of realization to the world around you. You. Were. Free! No more toxic man holding you down. No more arguments, no more narcissism, no more bad. It was just you.

Before you had left down the road, heading nowhere, you had sent a group message to Hannibal and Will, telling them that you were free at last and you needed to be out in the road. Hannibal had pinged your phone, and they had tracked you down.

When they pulled up, they saw your car sitting there, door open, and you were in the middle of the road, dancing, singing, drenched. Hannibal tried to get your attention, but it was like you heard nothing. Will had gotten out of his car and had walked over to you- and had pulled you close.

"I've got you." Will tells you softly, holding you close.

You stare blankly, looking at Hannibal behind you, who just smiles softly, and nods his head. Will looks over your face and smiles softly.

"Ride with Hannibal. I'll drive your car. Let's get you home and dry."

Nodding your head, Will escorts you to the car, and you get in. Hannibal gets in his car and looks over at you.

"Are you okay, Love?"

You nod and let out a soft breath watching as Will turns your car around, and you are now heading to Hannibal's home.

By the time you pull in, you are a little less out of shock and a little more impulsive. Licking your lips, you look between Hannibal and Will, standing in the middle of the foyer of Hannibal's home. You pull Will in for a kiss and turn and look at Hannibal, pulling from the kiss, you lick your lips, and you pull Hannibal in for one as well, standing between the two, you reach for Hannibal's belt, and look at Will.

"Undress me." You look between both of them. "Let me use you both... both of you, at the same time." You bite your lip.

Hannibal and Will look at each other, then back at you. "Let us comfort you." Will smirks. You nod as they bring you to a guest room.

#Will Graham Imagine #will graham x reader #will graham x you #Will Graham Smut #Will Graham Fluff #will graham headcanon #will graham my beloved #will graham core #will graham oneshot #will graham fic #will graham hannibal #hannibal imagine #hannibal lecter imagine #hannibal x reader #hannibal x you #hannibal fluff #hannibal angst #hannibal smut #hannibal fanfiction #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal lecter x you #hannibal lecter angst #hannibal lecter #hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal netflix #tellingyouastory #request a story #anon request #Follower Event

[nerdzzone]

-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: Again, just a reminder that all the information I have about covid restrictions in Massachusetts is from google, not first hand experience, so if something seems wrong please just go with it.

Part Three

______

Part Four

If avoiding difficult conversations was an Olympic sport then it's pretty safe to say that I would have earned myself a gold medal by the end of the following week. It wasn't all that hard to do though as the exhaustion from parenting during a pandemic was hitting us both. Especially because the weather for the first couple of weeks of April was abysmal. It was cold, stormy and raining almost every day and we were all getting quite stir crazy from being inside constantly - especially our lively and spirited child.

So, it was a massive relief when the sun finally came out.

It was also a relief that it lined up with Grayson's third birthday.

He was going to have a very different birthday than previous years - as most people would over the next few months - but we wanted him to have fun and he was quickly tiring of all the indoor activities that we could come up with.

We set the living room up the night before after he'd gone to bed, putting up a birthday banner with several clusters of balloons, and there was quite the mountain of presents in the corner as most of our family members had sent their gifts in advance. I had hoped to wake up before him, but when I woke up to excited cheers and Dodger barking from downstairs, I knew I was too late. A quick glance at my phone told me that it was only six thirty, but clearly the excitement had gotten him up earlier than normal.

"Whoa, Dodger, Grayson, shhhh," I heard Chris warn the pair of them, his voice still raspy from sleep. "You'll wake up the whole neighbourhood."

I smiled and quickly climbed out of bed. Chris wouldn't let him open any presents without me, I knew that, but I didn't want to keep him waiting for too long.

When I got downstairs, a very excited Grayson was bouncing on the couch as Chris sat next to him, watching him closely with a smile on his face.

"Happy birthday!" I cheered, catching his attention.

He sprang off the couch and bolted towards me.

"Thanks, Mama," He shouted, throwing his arms around my legs and looking up at me. "I'm three!"

"You are!" I smiled as I knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a hug. "You're such a big boy now."

He let me squeeze him for another moment or two before wiggling free.

"Can I open presents?"

Chris laughed at his clear priorities, shaking his head as I stood up.

"Let's just wait for Uncle Scott," he suggested before glancing up at me. "He's putting the coffee on."

"Very smart," I nodded. "I think we're all going to need plenty of that today."

Grayson proved my point by grabbing at his balloons and waving them frantically, setting Dodger off barking again.

"Dodge!" Chris scolded. "It's just a balloon, buddy. Chill."

The poor overwhelmed dog hung his head and came over to me for some sympathy. I happily obliged, cooing some comforting words and rubbing his back.

"Gray, leave the balloons, okay?" I requested. "I don't think Dodger likes them."

Grayson frowned, but instantly let go of the balloon in his hand.

"Sorry, Dodger."

"It sounds like we have quite the party in here already," Scott commented as he sauntered into the room. "Shall we see what's in some of these boxes?"

"Yes! Yes!" Grayson cheered, running over to the presents. "What first?"

"Whatever you want," I told him, smiling as I went to sit on the couch next to Chris. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I can do it!" He insisted, making a bee line for the biggest box and quickly ripping the paper off.

We watched as he opened gift after gift, an ear to ear grin on his face the whole time. Just as he was at Christmas, he was incredibly grateful for every present from the Paw Patrol Lookout Tower that was almost as tall as he was to the dinosaur books that were more educational than flashy and fun.

But there was one gift at the bottom of the pile that Chris wasn't particularly impressed by. The one that my brother had sent.

Grayson opened it, pulling out a t-shirt first.

"What does it say?" He asked, holding up the shirt towards us.

Chris' jaw dropped as I stifled my giggles and Scott burst out laughing.

"It says 'Team Iron Man'," I read. "Remember how Uncle Rob was in a movie with Daddy where they had a big fight? Iron Man was Uncle Rob's character and I think Uncle Jack wants you to be on that team."

"Oh," Grayson smiled. "Okay!"

"Okay?!" Chris protested. "You don't want to be on my team?"

Grayson shrugged as he pulled something else out of the box from my brother.

"Look!" He shouted, his excitement clear as he held up a very fancy electronic Iron Man helmet. "I love it!"

I wasn't even sure that he knew what it was as he hadn't seen any of the movies yet, but his enthusiasm compared to Chris' displeasure was killing Scott and I.

"Oh, it's such a shame that your brother wasted his money," Chris said, his words dripping with sarcasm as he had a forced look of pity on his face. "Those things are expensive and Grayson is never going to wear it."

"I'll wear it!"

Grayson's insistence was followed by him putting the helmet on his head and another howl of laughter came from Scott as a look of betrayal crossed Chris' face.

"Your brother is a jerk."

His words were quiet so Grayson wouldn't hear and I smiled.

"What can I say?" I shrugged. "We're an Iron Man family..."

Chris shot me a glare, but turned his attention back to Gray.

"Well, if you don't want to be on my team then I guess I'll just have to find someone else to have the last present that I got for you..."

Chris was teasing, but Grayson whipped off the helmet faster than we could blink. He looked around, a puzzled expression on his face when he couldn't see anymore boxes on the floor and I shared his confusion as I wasn't aware of anymore gifts either. But the Evans brothers exchanged a knowing glance and I knew they were up to something.

"Maybe Miles would like it," Scott suggested. "He loves Captain America."

"Me too!" Grayson insisted, tossing the helmet aside as if it hadn't been his new prized possession moments ago. "He's my favourite!"

"Oh, is he now?" Chris laughed. "Doesn't take much to make you change your mind, does it?"

Grayson shook his head, oblivious to the fact that he was being teased, but Chris didn't torture him for too long.

"Alright, do you want to see what it is?"

"Yes, I do!"

Grayson leapt up, bouncing up and down with excitement, making Chris laugh as he stood up from the couch.

"C'mon then," he told Grayson, nodding his head towards the door. "It's this way."

Grayson scurried after his dad and I followed, my own curiosity piqued as well.

"What is it?" I asked Scott, but he just shot me a smirk.

"You'll see in a second."

I narrowed my eyes at his secrets and paused at the front door where Chris was waiting for us, his hand on the door knob as Grayson practically vibrated with excitement.

"Okay, close your eyes," Chris instructed. "No peeking!"

"I won't, I won't!"

Grayson covered his eyes as an extra assurance and Chris' grin widened even more as he swung open the door. I put my hands on Grayson's shoulders and guided him through it, seeing a shiny blue bike with a big bow on the handlebars. I felt a flash of worry at all the potential ways for Grayson to get hurt riding it, but there was no time to dwell on that as Chris told him to open his eyes and he gasped with excitement.

"A bike!" He squealed with joy, leaping off the doorstep and running towards it.

He circled it for a moment as if he was really trying to take it all in while I looked up at Chris.

"There better be a helmet with this present," I warned him. "I'm already imagining broken bones and missing teeth."

"He'll be fine," Chris assured me with a chuckle. "It has training wheels, but of course I got him a helmet."

I opened my mouth, ready to share some more potential disasters that could come from this - because even with training wheels he could still fall off or lose control and crash into a tree - but Grayson cut me off.

"Help me, Daddy! Help me!"

He was trying to climb onto the seat, but as I took in the sight of him barefoot in his pyjamas standing in the driveway, I stopped Chris as he moved towards him.

"Wait, why don't we have breakfast first?" I suggested. "We have all day to play on your bike, but you're not dressed or even wearing shoes..."

Grayson's face fell and I felt bad being the mean parent, but Chris nodded in agreement.

"Your Ma's right, Gray," he told him. "Let's go get ready and then we can come right back outside, okay?"

Grayson looked sulky, but reluctantly agreed as he walked back over to us.

"Hey now," Scott said, catching his attention. "No pouting on your birthday! We've got some chocolate chip pancakes to make! Unless that sad face means you don't want them anymore?"

His previous smile slid instantly back onto his face at the promise of such a sugary breakfast and the pep returned to his step as he grabbed Scott's hand before dragging him into the house.

-

I had no evidence to prove my theory, but by the time breakfast was over, I was almost certain that it would have been more relaxing to be in the middle of a hurricane. There was pancake batter all over the room and we practically had to pin Grayson to his chair to stop him from sprinting around the room with food in his mouth. It was a miracle that he got through the meal without choking.

It was impossible to be mad though when he was having such a good time. He'd had so much to adjust to lately, seeing him happy on his birthday was all that I wanted and I was willing to put up with a little more chaos than normal if it made that happen. Within reason, of course. I did stop him when he suggested that we put the entire bag of chocolate chips in the pancake batter and I did make him help me clean them up when he dumped them on the floor in protest of my ridiculous restrictions.

Once the breakfast circus was over, Chris whisked him off to get him ready to play outside while I helped Scott clean up the kitchen before going upstairs to shower and get ready myself.

When I came back down almost an hour later, I felt considerably less frazzled, but the sound of excited squeals and giggles echoing from outside told me the energy levels hadn't died down much. It really was a relief that he was having such a nice day though so I braced myself for more chaos and headed out to find them.

The sight that greeted me melted my heart completely.

Chris was running backwards across the driveway as Grayson rode towards him. He shouted encouragement the entire time, reminding him to keep pedaling and to look where he was going and cheering as Grayson rode past him before turning around and circling back.

"Look, Mama!" He shouted to me as he spotted me by the door. "I'm doing it!"

"You are, baby!" I smiled. "Good job!"

I sat on the doorstep and watched him ride in circles, proud of how fast he'd figured it out, but after a few moments, my attention turned to Chris.

There were few times since I'd known him when I'd seen him look as happy as he did in that moment. When Grayson was born, when he took his first steps and when he first said 'Dada' were probably the only comparable moments I could think of. He looked absolutely gleeful as he chased after Grayson, laughing as he passed him before dodging a different way and waiting for Gray to catch up before bolting off again. The sound of their giggles and shouts filled my heart so much that it genuinely felt like it was about to burst out of my chest and a feeling of contentedness hit me so hard that it almost knocked over.

It was a feeling that told me that they were all I ever needed. Those two boys, making each other dizzy as they ran in circles. Their happiness and love was all I could ever hope to have and moments like these were all I ever wanted to see. I wanted us to spend every weekend soaking in this kind of joy. I didn't want to fight and argue and transport Grayson back and forth every other week. I wanted to give Grayson what he deserved, I wanted us to be a family.

But as fast as that clarity hit me, the knots in my stomach were there to remind me that it wasn't just about what I wanted. It wasn't about what would bring us the most moments of delight, it was about what would provide Grayson with the most stability and being a family might do more harm to that goal than good.

It was a constant battle between my heart and my head, but I was starting to realize that my head was losing. I was clinging to my resistance with all I had, but it was slipping away. I knew I needed to talk to Chris, to sort out the fog in my brain, but for the time being, I pushed it out of my mind. This was Grayson's day and we didn't have time for anymore heart-wrenching conversations.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Scott appeared from the side of the house on roller blades and the unexpected sight pulled a laugh from my lips as he sailed past Chris and Grayson and headed down the driveway.

"Gray, follow me!"

Gray nodded, frantically pedaling to catch up with his uncle as they sped off down the long drive. Chris watched them for a minute before jogging over to me.

"He got it so fast," he puffed as he fought to catch his breath. "He's a natural."

"The training wheels help," I pointed out, shielding my eyes from the sun as I looked up at him. "But it's fine because he'll be keeping those on until he's at least eighteen."

Chris barked out a laugh, shaking his head.

"No way," he smirked. "We'll have them off by next week."

"Not a chance. I need at least six months to get used to that idea."

"How about we meet in the middle and aim for three?"

"Hmm, maybe," I bit back a smile. "We'll have to see how many injuries he gets with the training wheels on first."

"He'll be fine. He's a champ," Chris grinned proudly. "We've got a pretty great kid."

"We do," I patted the step next to me as I made room for Chris to sit down. "I can't believe he's already three."

Chris accepted my silent invitation and sat down next to me.

"I know," he sighed. "It feels like just yesterday that he was born..."

"He was so tiny," I reminisced. "And you had those huge Captain America muscles."

Chris laughed as he nodded at the memory.

"I was so scared to hold him in case I accidentally crushed him."

"I was so scared of everything," I admitted. "It wasn't until he was actually born that it really hit me that we were completely responsible for his well-being and keeping him alive."

"We've done well with that though!"

"We have," I agreed with a smile. "He's alive and thriving."

"We make a good team."

He flashed me a warm smile that made my heart beat stutter and it almost stopped completely when he stretched out a hand and placed it on mine. His touch was gentle and the warmth of his skin flooded through me even more than the sun streaming down on us. It was a simple gesture, but it eased the heaviness that had been hovering between us lately and I was grateful. I carefully flipped my hand over so our palms pressed together and let our fingers interlace. His smile widened as he looked back out at the driveway, his eyes settling on Grayson in the distance who was laughing at something Scott said.

"Thank you," Chris sighed, his voice quiet and filled with genuine appreciation. "I don't think I've ever said it, but thank you for making me a dad."

His words almost brought tears to my eyes, but I shook my head.

"Chris, you don't need to than-"

"I do," he insisted, cutting me off. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me and he wouldn't be here without you."

"I could say the same," I pointed out, trying to ignore the way his thumb was stroking the back of my hand. "He gets most of his good traits from you too. His kind heart, his sensitive little soul, his loyalty."

"His infuriating stubbornness."

"He gets that from both of us," I smiled. "He didn't stand a chance with that one."

"Well, I hope he gets some of your selflessness," Chris informed me, glancing over and looking a tad sheepish. "Because, as much as I disagree with it and I wish you'd be a little selfish, I get that you're trying to look out for him."

I felt my palms start to sweat and I wondered if he could feel it. I resisted the urge to snatch my hand away from his, trying to play it cooler than I felt. He was watching me closely as I mulled over his words until I found the strength to speak.

"I'm not so sure that it's just him that I'm trying to look out for," I admitted, exhaling a breath that I didn't realize I was holding.  "I do think we have more to talk about, Chris, but I don't think this is the right time."

"You're right," he nodded. "I just felt like I owed you an apology after the other night. I let my feelings get the best of me and I came across a little harsh."

I was about to reassure him that he hadn't when the sound of honking interrupted our conversation. Our attention was pulled to the end of the driveway where two cars - belonging to Chris' mom and his sister - were pulling in as Scott moved Grayson and Dodger off to the side to let them past.

"Did you know they were coming?" I asked, surprised by the little motorcade.

"Nah, I had no idea," Chris shrugged. "We'll stay outside though, keep our distance."

I wasn't worried about that really, I knew all of Chris' family were staying very isolated and being smart about staying safe and we were technically allowed to have outdoor gatherings of up to ten people anyway with the current rules in place. I was surprised to see them though as we'd warned Grayson that he would only get to see most of his family over FaceTime. His excitement at that being untrue was clear as he frantically pedaled back up the driveway to greet his guests.

"Mama! Daddy! Look!"

I let Chris' hand fall away from mine as we stood, smiling at Grayson's excitement as everyone started getting out of their cars. They burst into a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday' making Gray's grin grow even more.

"Happy birthday, Grayson!" Lisa beamed as Grayson ran towards her full speed. He threw his arms around her legs before we could even remind him to keep his distance, but Lisa seemed unbothered by it. "Have you had a good day so far?"

"Yes!" Gray smiled up at her. "I got a bike!"

"I saw that!" Lisa matched his enthusiasm. "You're a lucky boy!"

Grayson shot her another smile before turning his attention to his cousins.

"Wanna try?"

His older cousins were probably too big, but Stella's hand shot up first and beat them to it anyway.

"That's really nice of you to share," I called over to Grayson. "But share your helmet too, okay?"

He nodded and struggled with the clip for a few minutes before Lisa helped him take it off and placed it on her granddaughter's head.

Once they were all happy, chasing Stella and Dodger around the drive way, the adults moved over towards us. Lisa was the first to speak, a guilty look on her face.

"I hope you don't mind us just showing up like this, but we couldn't stay away on his birthday..."

"It's great!" Chris assured her. "Don't worry about it."

"And Grayson seems thrilled," I added. "It's nice for him to have other kids to run around with for a bit."

We all turned to watch them as they played until Carly let out a laugh.

"Are Grayson's shoes on the wrong feet?"

I hadn't even noticed, but I laughed as well when I realized that she was right.

"Some days just getting him in shoes at all is a victory," Chris defended himself. "And today was one of those days."

"He's like the energizer bunny this morning," Scott joked. "I can't imagine what he'll be like after we get some cake into him."

"Just think how well he'll sleep tonight," Carly pointed out. "He has to crash eventually."

"I hope so," Chris smiled. "He had me up at six o'clock this morning, I need an early night."

That earned a laugh from the group as his siblings teased him about being such an old man, but I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that he'd been up early with Grayson a lot lately. Maybe it was because we were at his house so it was what Gray was used to, but Chris was definitely the favourite for the early morning wake up call.

We stood in our little circle for a while, just catching up as we watched the kids, all of us enjoying conversation with someone other than the people we were locked up with twenty-four hours a day. It was nice for me to have some female company as well even though Lisa was very pleased to hear that her boys were pulling their weight around the house and not just treating me like some kind of live-in maid.

It didn't take long for the kids to get tired of sharing the bike, especially the older boys who were too big for it anyway, and soon they were swarming around us demanding that we all play a game. After being cooped up for so long, it didn't seem like a bad idea to get us all moving around a little so we agreed and set about the daunting task of finding something everyone was willing to play.

Eventually, we settled on capture the flag - girls against boys. Lisa decided she'd make a better referee than a player so the boys team had one extra member, but they had three children to our one so it hardly seemed like the extra person would cause any unbalance. 

The rules of the game were simple: each team had three flags in our 'end zone' at opposite ends of the large grassy part of Chris' yard and the other team had to try to steal those flags. We had to grab it and run it all the way back to our own end zone to score a point, but once it was safely 'captured' it couldn't be stolen back. If someone managed to snatch a flag, but was tagged on their way back to their end zone then they had to give the flag back.

Lisa was very firm in reminding her children that tackling was not allowed as the Evans siblings were fiercely competitive and it had apparently led to trouble over the years. Once the rules were all set, we took our places and started the game.

The teams were fairly evenly matched. The boys had more strength, but we had more agility and were much better at communicating and working together which led to us easily scoring the first point. While Stella distracted Scott, Carly snuck past him to snatch the flag and she tossed it to Shanna who faked a pass to Stella before throwing it to me to get it to the safe zone. It was a beautifully executed play that showed the boys we weren't messing around.

"Oh, it's on now," Chris called out as he sprinted past me.

Shanna bolted after him, but he managed to grab the flag and throw it to Ethan before she caught up. With all the other boys guarding him, he made it all the way back to their end zone without getting tagged.

"I think having a super soldier on your team is an unfair advantage ," Carly huffed, but Chris shook his head with a smirk.

"Nah, because we have Scott too so it balances out."

"Hey!" Scott protested. "I'll switch teams if you're going to be rude!"

Stella jumped for joy at that idea, pleading with him to come onto our side, but the rest of the boys voiced their protests and he decided that, as long as there was no more hurtful comments, he would stick to his team for now. I used their bickering as a distraction though as I snuck closer towards their unguarded flags. I managed to grab one before Scott noticed and called out a warning to the rest of his team, but when I took off running and Grayson charged towards me, I didn't have the heart to out run him on his special day. I slowed down enough that he wouldn't realize I was letting him win and groaned dramatically as he tagged me, making me give up the flag.

"I did it!" He cheered. "Daddy! Did you see? I did it!"

Stella had a disappointed scowl on her face, but everyone else was understanding as they watched Chris scoop him up onto his shoulders, chanting his name as if he'd just won the World Cup while he carried him back to replace the flag.

Their celebration was short-lived though as we managed to steal the flag again almost as soon as Chris and Grayson were far enough away from it. After another perfectly executed play, the score was sitting at 2-1 for us. The pressure was on after that as we only needed one more point to win, it ramped up the competitive spirit.

We were off to a great start in the next round. Shanna got the flag quickly, but Scott had her cornered almost immediately so she tossed it to me. I got about ten steps before Chris was on my heels and I was forced to throw it over to Carly. Chris turned and went to chase after her instead and without even thinking, I leapt on his back to stop him.

"Hey!" He protested, slowing to a stop despite how he was clearly unaffected by my weight. "Is anyone seeing this? This has got to be a foul! She tackled me!"

"I did not tackle you!" I insisted, clinging to his shoulders with my legs wrapped around his waist. "If it was a tackle, you'd be on the ground."

Chris wiggled around, trying to throw me off his back as Carly sauntered into our end zone with the flag.

"The only reason I'm not on the ground is because you're too weak," Chris argued before shouting to his mom. "That doesn't count!

"No, Mama," Grayson joined in, running over to us looking very disapproving. "No cheating!"

I laughed, but slid down from Chris' back.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" I held my hands up as I apologized. "I can't outrun Captain America, I had no choice!"

"Well, now you lost the point," Chris teased me, shoving me playfully and making me stumble a step away from him. "So, lets keep it fair and stop trying to cheat."

I swatted back at him as I stuck out my tongue while Lisa made the official call that the point didn't count and Scott took the recently captured flag back to the boy's end zone.

Chris had a new twinkle in his eye as the next round started. He hadn't let me get very far away from him and I quickly realized that I'd made a mistake by antagonizing him. I would be useless to my team if he was on my tail the whole time, but he was a tank and incredibly fast so getting away from him was next to impossible. I watched helplessly as Scott and Miles easily took our flag and dashed it back to their end zone to tie the score.

"Chris!" I whined as I tried to get around him like I was a cornered puppy, trying not to get caught. "Get away from me, you big oaf!"

"Oh, wow," Chris chuckled. "Let's not start calling names and being mean."

I tried to dart past him again, but groaned as he blocked my path.

"You're infuriating!"

"It's all part of the game."

The smirk on Chris' face had my competitive side firing up as I could see behind him that Miles had snatched our last flag. Stella was hot on his heels though, so he had no choice, but to pass to Grayson who was coming our way. Was I going to stop my three year old son from scoring the game winning point on his birthday? Probably not. But I had to at least make my attempt genuine so I came up with a plan.

"Is that..." I squinted off into the distance on the other side of the yard. "Is that Dodger chasing a cat?"

My Oscar worthy performance had Chris spinning around to check out what I saw and it gave me enough time to bolt away towards Grayson who wasn't far away from winning the game for his team. I made it an impressive five steps before Chris figured out what I'd done and came after me. Grayson saw what was happening and dodged to the left so I followed, but my change of direction gave Chris an opportunity. The next thing I knew, I felt a crash against my hips before I was lifted from the ground and found myself dangling over Chris' shoulder.

I let out a squeal of surprise as I kicked my legs, trying to get down, but Chris had a tight grip on me and there was no getting away. The ease with which he threw me around wasn't at all distracting and there wasn't a single part of me that was revelling in his strength. Not at all.

"This is absolutely a tackle!" I protested, focusing my mind back onto my predicament. "Put me down!"

"If this was a tackle, you'd be on the ground," he mocked me. "This is payback."

I had a nice view, my head only inches above 'America's ass' so, swept up in the moment of playfulness between us, I reached down and gave it a smack. He yelped and jumped, shaking me as he did.

"Chris! Put me down!"

My demands were weakened by the giggles that I couldn't hold back, but thankfully Scott stepped in to help me regain some dignity.

"Alright, you two," he called over. "Can we get back to the game now or would you like us all to give you some time alone?"

A blush covered my cheeks as I remembered that his entire family was around us and was relieved when he lowered me to the ground.

"Games over," Chris called back. "Grayson scored!"

Grayson jumped up and down happily, but Stella had a scowl on her face.

"Nuh uh! When Whitney tackled you, it didn't count!" She pointed out. "Grayson's point doesn't count too!"

The joy on Grayson's face fell into a look of anger as he stomped his foot at his cousin’s claim.

"It does!" He insisted. "I did it!"

"Now look what you've done," I playfully scolded Chris quietly before shouting to the rest of the group. "I think we're going to have to let them have the point, ladies. I wouldn't have been able to catch up to Grayson even if Chris didn't cheat..."

Stella's jaw dropped in clear shock that I hadn't supported her protests, but to stop the war before it could start, Chris chimed in.

"Grayson didn't need my help to score that point, I shouldn't have interfered," he started. "But why don't we call it a game and go have some cake?!"

The promise of sugar seemed to quash any animosity between the teams as all the kids let out a shriek of approval at that suggestion and took off running back to the house.

"Oh, yes," Carly sighed. "Because what my children clearly need right now is more energy..."

"It's Gray's birthday," Chris shrugged with a smile as we all followed the children at a much more reasonable pace. "We have to have cake!"

"And if it wasn't his birthday then I wouldn't have let you win."

My taunting earned a bark of laughter from Chris.

"Let us win? Yeah, sure, okay. You just keep telling yourself that you're faster and stronger than me," he teased. "Whatever makes you feel better."

I shoved him, but he was braced for it and I ended up more affected by the impact than him which proved his point, putting a smirk on his face.

"Asshole," I muttered as I shook my head, but I couldn't hold back a smile at how nice our affectionate teasing felt.

-

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted. It had been a fun and very special day for Grayson so we were thrilled for him, but exhausted nonetheless. Gray fought his bedtime with all the will power he had, eager for the day to go on just a little bit longer, but we won out in the end and he made it to bed on time. Scott had gone to his own room while we were fighting with him and Chris and I parted ways shortly after to get some much needed quiet time of our own.

I found myself distracted though, when I was finally alone, as the importance of the day had me feeling sentimental. Watching Grayson grow up and hit these milestones was a joy, but it left me feeling a bit reminiscent of the years gone by. Years when he was even smaller than he was now, just starting to figure out the world and how to speak, walk and be a part of it. The time was really flying by and as I began to scroll through old videos of his first year of life, the nostalgia was almost too much to bear.

Eventually, I stumbled on a video that had distinct parallels of today.

It was a video of Grayson's first birthday when we'd given him his own little cake and let him go to town on it. Of course, as many babies do, he'd stared at it for a moment before smashing his face directly into it. It was adorable and tugged on my heart strings considering how comparatively neat his cake consumption was earlier that day. He'd grown so much in such a short time and I felt compelled to share my discovery with Chris so I dragged myself out of bed and crept down to his room.

There was a fluttering of nerves in my stomach as I knocked on his bedroom door, the feeling only growing as he called out an invitation to come inside. I did as he'd asked and let myself in, finding him leaning back against the headboard of his bed - wearing nothing but his pajama pants - with his own phone in his hand.

"Hey," he smiled. "What's up?"

"I found a video," I told him, standing awkwardly near the foot of his bed. "I was feeling a little sad about how fast Gray is growing up so I was looking back, watching old videos and I found one that I thought you might like to see."

Chris’ smile widened and he eagerly patted the bed next to him, encouraging me to sit. I took him up on his offer and settled in as I unlocked my phone and started the video.

"He was so little..."

Chris' observation came as the camera settled on Gray where he sat in his high chair. Chris was right next to him, a grin on his face as he chatted happily to our son despite the nonsense babble that he got in response. I appeared on the screen after a few moments, carrying a tiny cake as everyone started to sing Happy Birthday. Grayson had a look of confusion on his face as he looked around at the crowd, but his eyes widened when the cake was placed in front of him.

"Go on, Gray," I prompted once the singing had stopped. "You can taste it."

He needed no more encouragement and simply face planted right into it, popping up a moment later with blue icing from the tops of his eyebrows to the bottom of his chin. He had a huge, cheeky grin on his face as he looked at us and, just as he did in the video, Chris laughed next to me.

"Oh, man, it kills you, doesn't it?" He questioned before clarifying. "How cute he is."

I hadn't realized that Chris' arm had found its way behind me when he leaned in to watch until I felt his breath on my hair as he spoke and I couldn't resist leaning back, tucking myself under his shoulder. The whole day, the knowledge that my baby was growing up, had me needing some comfort. It was exciting, to see him learn and shift from a baby to a little person, but at the same time, I felt the overwhelming urge for time to stop.

"It does," I agreed, letting my phone fall to the bed beside me. "I can't believe how much he's changed since then."

"In some ways," Chris agreed, looking down at me with a smirk. "In others, he's still that goofy, reckless baby."

"If he's anything like you, he'll probably never grow out of being goofy and reckless."

I felt Chris' shoulders shake as he chuckled at my teasing and I was reminded of the last time we'd been cuddled up, in a similar position to this, in his bed. I felt a flood of warmth run through my body at the memory as I was suddenly aware of how close we were, aware of how good he smelt and how strong his hard muscled arm felt as I leaned against it.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I meant it as one," I assured him. "I like that you're goofy. Your recklessness used to give me anxiety sometimes, when you'd always insist that you just had to do your own stunts on Captain America as if you really thought you were a super soldier, but I like that you're willing to take risks."

"Awe, gee, Whitney," he teased, squeezing me closer against him. "It was nice of you to worry about me."

"Of course I worried," I rolled my eyes. "Your muscles are bigger than your brain sometimes."

"Not anymore..." Chris held up the arm that wasn't currently around me and flexed his muscles, showing off a bicep that was still much larger than most even if it wasn't quite up to the Avengers standard. "I'm out of shape."

Against my own best interest, I turned slightly, letting my hand drift up towards his arm as my head fell against his chest. I traced over the bulging muscle and watched as tiny goosebumps rose up on his skin at the sensation. Skin that felt so soft under my touch and I felt his breath shift as he clearly felt the mood between us change the same way that I did. I felt emboldened by how amorous our emotional day had left me as I let my head tip back to find him looking down at me with the same intensity he had a few months ago.

My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't help myself. Despite every alarm bell going off inside my brain, I stretched up just enough to press my lips against his. For a moment, he relaxed. His shoulders dropped as my fingers curled around the arm they were just stroking, but then suddenly his entire body tensed as if he'd been shocked by a bolt of electricity. He jerked away, sliding out from under me and off the bed before I could even realize what was happening.

"No," he said firmly, pointing his finger at me the same way he did to Dodger when he was being naughty. "No, no, we're not doing this again. Not until we talk about it what's going on here."

I felt the sting of rejection so harshly that it almost brought tears to my eyes, but I knew he was right.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked out, my cheeks burning. "You're right. I shouldn't have done that."

My voice was shaking as I scrambled to stand up, the stunned look on Chris' face only adding to my embarrassment. We stood there, staring at each other with the bed between us, but he didn't speak and after a few moments of silence, my shame was overwhelming, kicking my flight instincts into gear.

"I'll go," I mumbled. "Sorry again."

I didn't wait for a response before darting towards the door, but Chris' voice stopped me before I could make my escape.

"Whitney, stop." He didn't shout, but his tone was firm and demanding enough that I froze on the spot. "We need to talk about this. We can't keep going on with it hanging above our heads."

I turned to face him, discovering that he'd moved closer and was standing by the foot of the bed. He was still a few feet away from me, but close enough that it felt almost suffocating and I bit my lip as I stared at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.

"I don't know what to say..."

"I can take it," he insisted, a hint of resignation in voice as he continued. "You've had plenty of time to think it over since our last conversation and you said earlier today that we needed to talk. If you're gonna turn me down, put whatever this is to bed, just do it now and get it over with."

I furrowed my brow in confusion at his words, my heart beating in my chest so fast that I could hear the blood pumping through my ears.

"Turn you down?" I questioned. "Why do you think I'm going to turn you down? I just kissed you."

"That didn't mean much at Christmas."

He had a very valid point and I felt another pang of guilt at how badly I was treating him. I was hot and cold, affectionate and withdrawn, unwavering in my decision one minute and unsteady the next. I hadn't spared much thought to how cruel that was and now that I'd realized, I couldn't hold back the frustrated groan that fell from my lips.

"I don't know what to do, Chris! I think I know what the right decision is. It's what always felt like the safer choice, but then there are times when that's just..." I paused, taking in a deep breath to work up a dash of courage. "It's not what I want."

Chris watched me closely as if choosing his next words very carefully.

"If the safer choice isn't what you want then it sounds like maybe you need to take a risk. You can't live your life making decisions out of fear."

My eyes narrowed. He was over simplifying the situation. That way of thinking might work if it was just the two of us, but with Gray in the middle, things were more complicated.

"It's not that straight forward."

I shook my head as I spoke, but Chris countered with a nod.

"Sure, it is," he shrugged before asking a question that almost stopped my heart. "Do you love me?"

I stared at him, opening my mouth to speak and then closing it again when the words didn't come. I stood there, gaping at him like some kind of ridiculous puffer fish, until I finally got a word out.

"What?"

A smirk slid onto Chris' face at my floundering as he repeated the question.

"Do you love me?" He asked. "And don't say it doesn't matter or it's not important. Just yes or no."

I stared at him for a moment longer as a war between my head and heart raged inside me. Deny, deny, deny was what my head was screaming, but in the end the quiet reminder of now or never from my heart was what won out.

"Yes, I do," I admitted, proud of my voice for not breaking. "I always have."

There was a grin on Chris' face now, but my stomach churned because it didn't mean anything. As I said, I'd loved him all along and yet here we were, no better off.

"That's all that matters then," he insisted. "We can figure out the rest."

"But what if we can't figure it out?" I protested, crossing my arms as if I could somehow fold into myself and disappear completely. "What if it's nice for a while and then it all comes crashing down around us? What about Gray?"

He shrugged again. His whole demeanour miles away from my own. He seemed confident, hopeful, almost excited while I felt nauseous, terrified and paralyzed by fear.

"But what if it doesn't? What if it all works out nicely? Why are you so convinced that we wouldn't last?"

"Because you're you," I reminded him, my tone flat as I stated the obvious. "Hollywood super star, Chris Evans. And I'm me, a boring nobody. You could have pretty much any famous actress you want, the only person who wants to be with me is the creepy maintenance worker in our apartment building."

Chris looked taken aback as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What? I've never heard about this guy."

"He's just some weird guy who does the repairs," I shrugged. "He comments on my outfits and looks at me in this way that makes my skin crawl, but he's harmless."

"Doesn't sound harmless to me," Chris argued, crossing his arms as a thunderous look settled on his face. "Does he have access to your place?"

"No!" I assured him, but after my quick answer I realized that I wasn't so sure. "Well, I don't know. He might have a spare key, I guess. If most maintenance people do? They have to give me notice before they enter the apartment anyway."

"Unless he's sneaking in to perv on you."

"Chris! That's gross!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Why would you put that thought in my head?!"

"I told you that you should have let me buy you a house," Chris huffed. "You're moving when all this covid shit is over."

"Oh my god," I groaned having flashbacks to our conversation a few weeks ago about him buying me a car. "All of this is so beside the point! We're talking about how you'd get bored of me and leave me heartbroken for some flashy Hollywood babe, remember?"

"Right," Chris nodded, letting his arms fall to his side. "But that's such a ridiculous idea that I thought it was hardly worth acknowledging."

His dismissal of one of my biggest fears sent a flash of anger through me.

"How is it ridiculous?" I snapped. "It's true!"

"You know me, Whitney," Chris sighed. "You know that my team had to practically force me into doing Captain America because I had one foot out the door of the whole acting gig and I hated the way Hollywood made me feel. Do you really think that I would give up a chance at a having family with you, someone who I really care about, for some wild, short-lived fling?"

His tone conveyed his disbelief, but he hadn't quite accurately interpreted what I meant.

"I think you'd regret it," I clarified. "I think that once the initial excitement wore off, you'd see that I'm nothing special and that I don't fit in your world."

Chris was looking at me as if I'd grown an extra head and I crossed my arms a little tighter around myself.

"We were friends long before Grayson came around and I've always thought that you were something special. Where is all this insecurity coming from, Whitney? Because I just don't get it."

I swallowed hard as I bit my lip. I felt incredibly vulnerable and the urge to run away and continue ignoring all my feelings seemed much preferable to standing here and analyzing them all, but I stayed strong. We were both adults and this was the only way to move forward. Whether it ended how Chris wanted or not, he deserved to know how I felt.

"I spent a long time convincing myself that you didn't care about me as anything more than a friend. I told myself that it was an insane idea because we're in two very different leagues so there was no point getting my hopes up. Then that night happened and I thought that maybe I'd been wrong, that it could be the start of a really good thing, but then you were gone by the time I woke up and you never called."

I barely choked out the last few words as I fought back the tears that were swimming in my eyes. An unmistakable look of guilt flashed onto Chris' face and he opened his mouth to comment, perhaps to defend himself, but I held up a hand to stop him. I needed to get it out or I never would.

"Then three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant," I continued. "I assumed from your silence that you didn't want to be with me and I knew that we were good together as friends so I kept my feelings to myself and spent the last three and a half years beating myself up for thinking for even one second that you would want to be with me."

"I did want to be with you..."

Chris was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that he'd mastered and I sniffled as a tear slipped down my cheek.

"I know that now, but I can't just turn those thoughts off."

Chris sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before holding out his arms.

"C'mere."

I shook my head, wiping my tears as I worried that I'd fall apart completely if I stepped into his arms, but when he persisted and gestured me over again, I couldn't resist. I took the few steps needed to close the space between us and let my arms slide around his waist. He hugged me close to his body, burying his face in my hair as pressed mine into his muscled chest. We stayed like that for a few moments until Chris broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I was an idiot," he apologized, his words muffled by my hair. "I should have fought for you. At the very least, I should have stayed until you woke up and I should have called, but I was scared too."

I felt more tears fill my eyes as I choked out a soft "I know".

Another silence fell between us before Chris spoke again, his words making my heart almost stop completely.

"I was going to propose." I pulled back at that confession, my eyes wide as I looked up at him unable to process his words fast enough to speak before he continued. "I called my mom up as soon as you told me you were pregnant. I wanted her to help me pick out a ring, but she talked me out of it. Said you'd think I was doing it for all the wrong reasons."

My heart fluttered back to life at the sincerity in his admission, but I nodded my head.

"Your mom is a smart lady," I told him. "I absolutely would have thought you were only doing it because you felt you had to."

"It wasn't out of obligation though," he insisted. "Maybe I was getting a bit ahead of myself leaping straight to marriage, but I cared about you. It was an opportunity to make it official, make that commitment and be a family. That's what I wanted."

I stayed quiet, resting my head back against his chest as I tried to take in all this new information. It was a lot to process especially when it directly contradicted the belief I had clung to for so long - that Chris and I would never work and for Grayson's sake we were better off apart. That assumption was so deeply embedded in my brain that it was hard to find the courage to take such a risk.

As if Chris could sense my lingering indecision, he continued.

"It's still what I want," he said softly. "Being here these last few weeks with you and Grayson as a family has been a dream come true. I wouldn't give it up for anything or do anything to jeopardize it if you'd just give me a shot."

The word 'okay' was so close to the tip of my tongue that it shocked me.

That was all I had to do, just open my mouth and agree and he would be mine.

My heart was pleading with me to do it, to take that leap and ignore any of the arguments against it that were running through my mind - especially now that those arguments seemed much less sound than they had a few short weeks ago. I was so conflicted that it almost physically pained me to have to make a decision and I couldn't help, but wonder how he could be so certain.

So, I leaned back and tilted my head so my eyes could meet his.

"How can you be so sure?" I questioned. "After how things have been these last few years, how can you be so confident in your feelings?"

"Because I love you," he told me plainly and with unwavering surety. "If you tell me right now that it's not what you want, then I'll accept your decision. But if there's a hint of a chance, then I'll wait as long as I need to. I've been waiting for years, thinking that I didn't even have a shot, I think I can wait a little longer now that I know that I might."

It was another heart wrenchingly honest explanation, another vulnerable admission, and something in the openness with which he spoke made me realize that over the last three years he had done nothing to earn any distrust from me. Even after the fallout from Christmas, he'd put his hurt feelings and pride aside to make things easier for me. He'd been sincere during every discussion we'd had since then and hadn't been cruel or impatient about my indecision. I had no reason at all, other than my own fear and insecurities, to assume that he was going to break my heart and tear apart our family.

He deserved a little bit of trust from me as well and a clarity washed over me as I finally knew what I had to do.

There were words I could have said, probably should have said, but I didn't feel like there was anything that would accurately portray how I was feeling. I settled for a more direct approach as I pressed up onto my toes and let my lips fall against his.

He tensed at first and for a brief, heart stopping moment, I thought he might push me away again, but he didn't. He relaxed, pulling me closer as my hands slid to cup his neck.

It was a soft kiss. A gentle, loving kiss, that I hoped conveyed what I couldn't figure out how to say. But when our lips parted and he leaned down to rest his forehead on mine, there was a concern in his eyes that told me I wasn't going to get away with it that easily.

"What does that mean?"

I bit my lip, staring up past his long eyelashes into his eyes. There was still a tiny voice in my head telling me to run, to stop being so foolish and leave now before I made a mistake, but my heart had found its footing now and wasn't going to back down. Listening to my head all this time hadn't made things any easier, so it was time to try something else.

"It means," I started, taking in a shaky breath. "I don't want to keep you waiting anymore."

Chris let out a breath of relief as a tentative smile slid onto his face.

"Really? You're sure?"

I swallowed hard and nodded my head.

"Yes," I breathed out, my voice thick with all the emotions swirling through me.

He dipped his head a touch lower until our lips were reconnected. It was a deeper kiss, more desperate than the first as his tongue slid against mine and his grip tightened on my waist, my nails scraping against the fuzz of his recently cut hair. I caved into him, clinging to him like he was a lifeboat in a storm until he pulled back to take a breath.

My chest heaved against his, the adrenaline of his touch and what this finally meant, almost too much to handle. I settled back down, flat on my feet and nuzzled my face back into his chest as I fought to calm my racing mind and just enjoy the moment.

"You really mean it?" Chris asked again, the shakiness of his voice filling me with another pang of guilt. "You really want to give this a try?"

"I mean it," I nodded against him. "Doesn't mean my concerns have all vanished in the last five minutes, but I...I think I need to trust you."

"I won't let you down," he murmured into my hair as he pulled me even closer. Another silence fell between us until I broke it with an embarrassingly large yawn and Chris' chest shook as he chuckled. "Do you wanna sleep down here tonight?"

As soon as he'd asked the question, it suddenly hit me how exhausted I was. Even just the thought of walking upstairs seemed like an impossible task when there was such an inviting, comfortable bed only steps away from where I stood. But a thought popped into my head that I couldn't ignore and I turned my head slightly so I wasn't speaking directly into Chris' muscles.

"What about Gray?" I asked. "He always comes to you in the morning..."

"Would it matter?"

His tone wasn't accusing or annoyed, but genuinely curious as sharing a child did add a strange new element to all this. I didn't really know what the best way to handle it was since Grayson didn't really understand our relationship or know how a typical family was set up anyway, but it didn't seem like the best way to introduce him to the idea.

"I think we should talk to him about it instead of just letting him stumble on us in bed together," I suggested. "But I think maybe we should wait a while?"

Chris' face fell as the look of worry returned.

"You want to keep this a secret?"

"I didn't mean it like that," I shook my head. "You can tell whoever you want, but I think we should figure things out, make sure things are stable between us before we try to explain it to Gray."

"Alright, that's fair," Chris agreed before leaning down to place another soft kiss on my lips. "I'll wake you up before he comes down."

"Okay," I nodded as I let my thumb stroke his cheek.

We reluctantly slipped out of each other's arms, but it was a brief separation as we climbed into opposite sides of the bed. Once we'd turned the lights off, we met in the middle and he pulled me back against his chest, letting me hook my leg over his hip as we settled against each other.

Chris ran a hand up and down my spine as he nuzzled in my hair.

"This feels nice..."

"It does," I hummed. With the darkness around us, the quiet that had settled in, I felt encouraged to say something that I'd felt I should have said long ago. "I'm sorry, Chris."

I felt him tense.

"For what?"

"For messing you around so much," I admitted. "Especially at Christmas...that wasn't cool."

"If I had expectations, I should have laid them out before anything happened." His answer sounded rehearsed, as if he'd spent a long time convincing himself of that fact. I wasn't entirely sure it was a fair statement, but he continued before I could question it. "I can understand where you were coming from, but I promise I won't hurt you."

I felt a pang of uncertainty because that wasn't always a promise that could be kept, but the sincerity in his voice gave me hope. I placed a soft kiss against his chest as his hands slid up under the loose shorts I was wearing to cup my bum.

"I love you," I mumbled against his skin.

"I love you too," he replied, making a feeling of warmth flood through me. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

I sighed happily as my exhaustion had my eyes fluttering shut. I wanted to stay awake, to keep this moment before the brightness of the morning could bring any doubts or second guesses, but I was powerless to resist as sleep overtook me.

-

Part Five

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fic #more hearts than mine

[solliewriter]

Archery for Writers

In this post, I'll basically tell you the small stuff: e.g., what your archer will complain about to other archers, how different bows sound, what it's like shooting in the rain or snow, finding the goddamn arrows, etc. I’m also going into technical details and will discuss the legendary Robin Hood shot.

If you want a good basic primer, T.S. Strange on Instagram did a pretty good job https://www.instagram.com/p/COat-W1rQ7o/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

But, if you're ready for beyond the basics, I've got you covered.

To be clear, my knowledge of archery is primarily Western traditional archery. PLEASE research the history of the type of bow you choose as they’re all unique. There’s a reason why Mongolian bows are so different than English longbows.

I have primarily shot in thick, brushy forest (not parks, actual wilderness), so when you read, that I'm talking about that setting unless specified. My favored bow is a reflex/deflex, which is basically a recurve/longbow hybrid. I have also been doing archery for as long as I can remember, so yes I know how to shoot.

SOUNDS

Different bows make different sounds. Recurve bows are loud. They make this twangy sound when you use them, unless you put a silencer on the string. This silencer is usually a fluff-type thing that is woven around and through the string. The silencer doesn't make them perfectly silent. It's more of a muffler than a silencer.

Longbows are quieter, but they still make noise. It's short, grunt-like hum that usually only the archer and their immediate compatriots can hear.

For Your Character (FYC): a recurve archer and a longbow archer will very likely pester each other about noise.

SIGHT, pt1

You can shoot blind. Sorta. No, you can't put on a blindfold and still hit your target, but you can and will extrapolate what you see. As mentioned, I've done almost all of my shooting in the forest, in the mountains. Visibility is  less than perfect. You have to aim through hundreds of branches, and the likelihood of hitting a branch and sending your arrow flying into No Man's Land is very likely as a beginner and amateur. Shooting through the forest isn't like in Lord of the Rings or Hunger Games, unless that forest is a well maintained park with marked trails made by things other than deer and bear. (FYI, bear trails are perfect for humans.) Half the time, if you move an inch the wrong way, your arrow will be way off target. Missing by an inch means missing by several feet, which is really far in archery.

More than once, you see your target at one angle, but can't shoot it at another. I've experienced this frequently because my Viking sized dad will pick targets that I, his 5'2" daughter, am too short to see. I have to stand on tip toes to see his target, then lower myself into almost a crouch to shoot. I still hit the target.

FYC: Besides the obvious banter that comes from discussing height differences, there are a few other things to note. In the forest, it can be hard to find two good angles to shoot something. This can lead to frustration, complaining, attempts to get the other archer out of the way, and etc.

SIGHT, pt 2

I’m talking about recurve/longbows, so there are no actual sights to look through. 

This is where things are controversial. There’s a gap shooting and an instinctive shooting. Gap shooters guess the distance, then aim. Instinctive shooters just sorta ... wing it.

I’m not going to throw shade at either method. But here’s a key reason why one would use one style or another: gap shooting is largely ineffective in mountainous, forested terrain when you can’t really see much. So, if you have an archer from a prairie and an archer from the mountains, it’s likely they use different aiming styles.

Side note: Flu-flu shots are unique and fun shots that use big feathery arrows. You shoot nearly straight up in hopes of getting your arrow on top of the target rather than straight toward it. When doing this, you can either look at the target or look at your arrow angle, but you can't do both at the same time. You have to shoot blind. Flu-flu shots aren't good for killing creatures, but they are pure fun. This is a good example of using instinctive shooting rather than gap shooting. Also, flu-flu shots are prone to being highly effective by the wind, and it’s very easy to get them stuck in a tree for all eternity. There’s a shooting area my roving family calls “The Valley of Lost Flu-Flu’s.” It’s called this for very good reason.

SMELLS

Bows don't smell, unless you've just added beeswax to the string (strings fray, wax stops that). Arrows smell for about a day after you paint them and glue them.

Leather, however, smells and remains smelly forever. I personally like the smell (though I suppose I'm actually smelling the oil, not the leather). It's very hard to describe, partially because I have so many memories involved. Unfortunately, I have to leave this to you. Just note, leather from armguards, quivers, and pouches don't smell the same as couches and your typical urbanite materials. Find your hippie friend and ask them to make you a leather bracelet or something. That'll teach you the smell.

FYC: Your archer will have very strong memories associated with the smell of leather and beeswax. They will be warm fuzzy memories.

TOUCH, aka shooting in the cold weather

All right, it's cold, and your character is wearing a big coat. Big, puffy sleeves to fit all those layers beneath. No biggie, just nock the arrow, draw, and shoot ...

FWAP!

The string hits the character's coat sleeve. The arrow goes about ten feet before falling limp to the ground like a sad puppy.

To fix this, you need to tie a thick band around your character's sleeve. Easy peasy.

Now, your OC tries shooting again. Unfortunately, it’s been raining, so to their dismay, they've noticed that their turkey fletchings (standard in the western US states) have flattened and shrunk. It looks like there is barely any fletching at all. Fear not, the arrow will still fly. It'll just make aiming a bit harder, but not terribly worse. Those fletchings are just stabilizers.

Your OC goes home. When they take off their shooting glove/tab, they notice their fingers are yellow. Oh no! Don't worry, your OC is not sick, the dye has just come off the leather in the rain. It'll wash off, but it'll probably happen every time the leather gets wet for the next few months unless your OC makes a new glove/tab that isn't dyed.

LEFTIE VS RIGHTIE

It is extremely uncommon to find a left-handed archer. This is because even if someone’s right-handed doing their day-to-day things, it doesn’t mean they’re going to be right-handed for archery.

In archery, whether you shoot left or right handed is determined by your eye dominance. Most people are right-eyed dominant, so much so it’s very hard for a left-eye dominant archer (such as myself) to find new bows. And I mean really hard. Go anywhere and there’s a severe shortage of left-dominant archery gear simply because it’s that rare (hah I’m special- jk).

BOWS

There are manufactured bows (lame), and there are good bows. Yes, there’s a huge difference.

I’m not sure of the technical terms, but here’s my experience.

Manufactured bows, i.e., the cheap bows you find at a renaissance fair, are typically made from a type of plastic. Good traditional bows, from almost any country, are custom-made from wood that the bowyer (bow-maker) has shaped, treated, and glued.

Bows are a lot like musical instruments. Essentially, manufactured bows (or guitars, violins, etc.) are poor quality because they’re made of cheap materials which make the shooting quality less than superb (more on that later), and because they aren’t given the attention they need, which makes them of lesser quality because they’re just ... eh. Special treatment makes for a better bow.

Like musical instruments, there are a lot of different types. Most websites say there are only four (recurve, longbow, compound, and crossbow), but that’s not quite true. These acknowledge the four general shapes of a bow, but not the subtypes. For example, Mongolian bows are recurves, but tend to be shorter than Western recurves because Mongolian recurves are meant to be shot on horseback.

SHOOTING QUALITY 

So, what is it like shooting a good bow?

Again, I’m speaking from experience with recurves, longbows, and reflexes.

A good bow has good speed. It moves the arrow faster than slower. This is a relative scale because recurves shoot arrows faster than longbows, and reflex/deflex tend to shoot faster than longbows but slower than recurves.

WEIGHT

Is it possible for people to have pulled 100 pounds of weight in a bow back in the olden days, or are people just confused?

Yes, it’s possible.

My dad, who used to do archery once or twice a week, had a 100 pound bow that he shot fairly regularly. That was before his shoulder injuries and, y’know, age. 

Also note that he’s practically a Viking.

I pulled 50 pounds at 28 inches when I was doing it regularly, although now I probably have to go back to 45 pounds.

BASIC SHOOTING FORM

This is going to be heavily effected by your character’s culture, bow, and upbringing.

There’s the English, upright stance for shooting a longbow. The archer stands very straight, and their pull hand goes to anywhere between the lip and the ear.

There’s the forest stance, which is my own, and that’s slightly bent over to avoid string-slaps, finger to cheekbone. Also, I made up the forest stance, so don’t Google it.

Then there’s Walt Wilhem, who, due to physical disability, had to shoot from the hip and was still one of the best archers in the world. Watch the video of him and his brother:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np8u69YfSA8

THE ROBIN HOOD SHOT

This is actually very attainable. I’ve done it six times. My dad has done it about 30 times. I have a friend who did it about 25 times.

In order for this situation to realistically happen (if you’re writing something unrealistic, you really shouldn’t bother reading all of this), the character needs to prep a few things.

1. Years of experience. At least six, and that’s assuming your archer shoots at least seven hours a week, without missing an hour.

 2. At six years the archer might get a few Robin Hood shots. Very likely, it’ll be at a shorter distance and the arrow they’re shooting will be cross-wise instead of straight down the shaft.

3. At ten years, it’s quite likely your Robin Hood has shot straight down the shaft a few times.

4. Your Robin Hood must seek to improve every week.

SOME QUICK TIPS

unless you’re Walt Wilhem, you always pull from your back, not your arm

you never fire an arrow

back quivers are quieter and more mobile than hip quivers (suck it hipsters)

it takes practice and long fingers, but it’s quite doable to hold both a bow and an arrow in one hand while shooting

there is a system for very fast nocking 

beginners have no clue what this system is and so take several minutes to nock their arrow.

contrast, it takes a second for an experienced archer.

someone who doesn’t take long to aim is often called a snap shooter, and this isn’t exactly complimentary.

This ought to take you far in your journey of writing an archer. I’ve been sitting on this post for about a year now, but still need to add to it. PLEASE google the following in case I don’t get to sharing the info.

arrow breakage

bow breaking

materials for arrows

types of wood for bows

types of wood for arrows

arrow spine weight

bow tuning

bow shelfs

different forms

holding a bow

stringing a bow

bow at rest

temperatures + bows

fletching types

aerodynamics 

quivers

moving around

how to find the goddamn arrows

#archery #writeblr #writing #archers #bow and arrow #wip #writing tip #writing advice #don't tell anyone it's been 2 years since I've shot my lovely bear bow #I need my bow again #I need to shoot

[mrs-gucci]

Lucky Lady {Sir Clyde Logan x nobility!Reader}

author’s notes: KNIGHT!CLYDE LOGAN HAS ARRIVED!! and damn, I think he’s here to stay <3 <3 ((yes, I’m fully aware that southern drawl likely didn’t exist in medieval times, but it’s just a signature of Clyde’s character and I couldn’t bring myself to take it away lol))

warnings: fluff. some hurt/comfort themes/elements. blossoming romance. r.i.p. historical accuracy.

(possible) tw’s: brief depictions of battle & dead bodies (non-descriptive). injuries/wounds. blood (non-graphic).

word count: 1.9k

clyde’s taglist peeps!  @goddessofsprings​ @icarusinthesea my general taglist peeps! @safarigirlsp​ @babbushka​ ​@mrs-zimmerman​ @dirtytissuebox​ (if you’d like to be added to or removed from any of my taglists, the link to the google form is HERE or on the top of my masterlist)

terms to know:

mare is a female horse.

Far off thunder gently rumbles the rain-softened ground and bolts of white streak across the darkened sky as you ride out of the kingdom gates towards the sight of the once raging battle. The vicious storm has passed, now, and despite your father’s warning, you rode out to search for any survivors. Bodies litter the ground and you have to look away, feeling sick to your stomach. 

Your horse begins to snort and whinny in distress, suddenly panicked. You can barely see through the hood of your cloak, but you’re pretty sure you see one of the soldiers moving.

You nudge your horses side and she lunges forward into a slow trot, carefully navigating through the maze of fallen soldiers. The closer you get, the clearer you can hear his groans of pain. 

“P-Please,” He breathes, voice hoarse. “Help m-me.”

Without hesitation, you jump down and rush over to him, trying not to slip in the thick layer of mud. 

“Sir? Where are you wounded?”

You pull out the few bandages you managed to fit in the saddlebag in preparation for his response. 

“Ma arm.”

Your eyes fall onto the limb, and you see that almost his entire lower forearm has been sliced off by a crude blade, leaving in its wake an open wound. You quickly and very, very gently wrap the bandages around it.

His half mud-covered face scrunches with every little bit that you wrap and small grunts of torment leave him, but he remains relatively still and calm. When you finish up, you can see the tears that have fallen and cut through the brown painted over his skin.

“Can you stand? I cannot lift you myself, but if you can mount my horse, I’ll walk you back to the castle.” You say, using your cloak to wipe away the rest of the mud, revealing the other half of the knight’s breathtakingly handsome face. 

He nods. “I t-think I can stand, but I might need a lil h-help at the beginnin’.”

You place your hand on the center of his back as he slowly sits up with a soft grunt. “There we go. Are you feeling alright still?”

The young knight chuckles, and you furrow your eyebrows. When he sees your confused and hurt expression, he shakes his head.

“‘m not laughin’ at ya, milady, I’m just not used t’ this sorta treatment. Them nurses n’ ma fellow brothers-in-arms, they ain’t usually so kind or nice t’ us. I’m used t’ gettin’ picked on n’ bossed ‘round.” He chuckles quietly, then blushes a bit. “And none of ‘em ain’t ever as beautiful as ya are.”

His nickname makes your heart skip a beat, and your cheeks warm as you laugh softly.

“Well, now, I never said I wouldn’t be bossing you around.” You jest, which makes him smile. “Only when you’re being stubborn.”

“That, I think I can handle jus’ fine.”

The handsome man chuckles before he begins to rise up from the ground, legs quaking as his weight is put on them once more. He eventually steadies enough to take his first step to where your horse is standing.

Your mare’s ears perk and her nostrils flare at the physically imposing figure approaching. You go to try and calm her, but the knight promptly stops you.

“I got ‘er. It ain’t you she’s ‘fraid of, an’ if ‘m gonna be gettin’ on ‘er back, she’s gotta know I ain’t a threat.”

He slowly walks up to her, taking one step at a time, holding his good hand out. 

“That’s it, ’m not gon’ hurt ya. Good girl, ‘m not gonna do ya any harm.”

She looks a bit hesitant still, but allows the tall, limping man to come up to her. He lets her inspect him for a moment and briefly sniff his outstretched hand, then she relaxes a bit. 

You’re amazed at his natural ability to work with horses, smiling as you step up and put the excess bandages back into the saddlebag. He rubs her head and strokes her muzzle, laughing softly when she starts nudging him with her head whenever he stops petting her.

“Woah now, don’t get too rough with him, Lucky.” You say, smiling shaking your head. “He’s still on the mend.”

“Lucky, hm? Well, I guess now that I know ‘er name, it’s only fittin’ I know yours.”

Your cheeks warm again. “Y/N.”

“Mm, Y/N.” His hand extends to yours. “A pretty name fit fer a pretty girl such as yerself. ‘m Clyde.”

The two of you shake hands, then Clyde gives Lucky one final scratch before approaching the saddle, climbing up onto her back with a surprisingly swift ease. You go to walk up and hold her head to walk back to the castle, but he stops you.

“An’ where is it ya think yer goin’?”

You look up at him, confused. “I told you I was gonna take you back to the castle.”

“Yer not walkin’ all that way, I ain’t allowin’ it.” He pouts softly, huffing as he thinks up a plan. “C’mon up ‘ere. Ya can lay right ‘ere in front ‘a me an’ hold on.”

Your eyes widen for a moment. Surely he can’t be serious... “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

His good hand drops the reins and extends down to you. He looks at you with a kind expression.

“I’ll make sure ya don’t fall. Do ye trust me?”

For some unknown reason, you really, really did. You nod, allowing him to help you lay across the front of the saddle, legs hanging off one side of the horse. You look up at the handsome knight and he looks down at you, smiling.

“Hold on tight, milady. We can’t have ya fallin’, now can we?”

You bite your lip, nodding as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck. Once you’re secure, Clyde nudges Lucky forward and heads off towards the palace at a slow gallop.

This close proximity and angle allows you to truly drink in his natural beauty under the low glow of fading sunlight. His dark hair flutters in the evening’s breeze, brilliant alabaster skin splattered with all sorts of freckles and moles, each one even more perfectly placed than the last.

Lucky’s hooves soon hit the cobblestone and you look out between her pricked ears to the scarcely-populated streets of the villages. Everyone who happened to be out on the street gave bewildered looks as the bloody and muddy scene trotted by them.

You direct Clyde to the castle entrance and jump down, already missing the heat of his body pressing against you, informing one of the guards that you had an injured knight that needed immediate attention. He nods and rushes off to grab the doctor.

Clyde smiles when you walk back up to him, hopping down from the saddle slowly and carefully. He strokes Lucky’s neck as he speaks.

“So, will I be seein’ ya again sometime, m’lady?

Your cheeks burn and you giggle softly, biting your lip. “Only if you’d like to.”

“I’d love nothin’ more than to see ye again.” He says with a smile.

“How about I have the doctor inform me when you’re all stitched up and I’ll come down, if you’re feeling up for a visit?”

He nods, pausing his strokes along Lucky’s neck to scratch the back of his own. “I’ll always be feelin’ up for a visit from a pretty lil lady like ya, Y/N.”

You feel your heart flutter for what must be the thousandth time since you met the handsome young knight. Somehow, his words seem so much more genuine than anyone’s have before, and you find yourself truly believing them.

His head dips down a bit and you look up at him, instinctively leaning up towards his lowering face. You can feel his hot breath spread over your skin, noses touching now, and your eyes begin to flutter shut as his lips reach just over yours--

“Milady!” The guard says from behind you, jolting you and Clyde apart. He turns a soft red color, looking down at the ground while you spin around and try to keep some wits about you as you approach the guard and doctor.

A brief visual inspection of the wounded knight is done and immediately, the doctor insists that Clyde come to the medical ward right away. He hands Lucky’s reins to you with a small nod, then allows himself to be escorted up through the large castle doors.

You take Lucky back down to the royal stables before rushing up to your bedroom, eagerly awaiting the doctor’s arrival. The night draws on and, before you know it, you’re fast asleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Birds chirp as the sun begins to rise over the land once more. You’re roused from night’s slumber by the light peeking through the luxurious curtains and you instantly arise from bed, acutely panicked by the fact that the doctor never came to retrieve you last night. 

You quickly re-pull your hair up before scrambling to find something suitable to wear down to the medical ward, settling on a simple blue villagers dress. As soon as you open the door, you’re startled to find the doctor standing just outside, his hand raised in preparation to knock.

“Milady.” He greets you. “Sir Clyde has been unwavering from his desire to see you all throughout the night. I assured him that I’d come to get you first thing.”

Thanking the doctor and pushing past him without another word, you quickly rush to where Clyde’s laid on a cot in one of the closed-off areas. You smile at the sight of him before knocking gently on the wall outside his room.

“I believe my presence was requested.”

Clyde’s entire being lightens when his eyes land on you, content pout pulling up into a soft smile. 

“It was indeed, m’lady.”

You walk up and sit at his bedside, trying to ignore the way your body warms at the sight of his bare chest. Your hand slowly slides over to meet his, resting atop it.

“How are you doing? Are you in much pain?”

He nods. “The pain ‘s pretty bad, but ‘m doin’ alright. But, ‘m doin’ much better now that I get t’ see ya.”

“Always happy to help.” You smile, biting your lip. “I’m glad to hear that you’re okay, Sir Clyde.”

His cheeks turn pink and he shyly threads his fingers through yours. 

“So, now that yer here, I was hopin’ that we could...” He trails off and you smile, moving up a bit closer to him, leaning in slightly so that your faces are close together. The breath catches in his throat. “F-Finish where we left off, ‘fore I had t-t’ go.”

You laugh softly and, as soon as you nod, Clyde closes the space between you, lips pressing on yours gently. Both of you let out a soft sigh of relief at the feeling of finally being joined in this way, and his good hand comes up to cup your cheek. His lips tug up into a big, face-splitting grin as he pulls away slowly, still cradling your cheek.

“Thank ye fer savin’ me, Y/N. I dunno what I can do t’ repay ya.”

You smile and chuckle. “I think saying ‘thank you’ a few more times is a good place to start.”

Clyde laughs softly, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Whatever yer heart desires, m’lady.”

#mrs-gucci #mrs-gucci writes clyde logan #logan lucky #logan lucky (2017) #logan lucky fanfiction #medieval au #knight!Clyde Logan #knight!Clyde #sir clyde logan #clyde logan #clyde logan fanfiction #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x you #clyde logan fluff #clyde x reader #clyde x you #clyde logan x reader fluff #medieval clyde logan #adcu authors of color #adcu community #adcu fanfiction #adcu fanfic #adam driver #adam driver fanfiction #adam driver character #adam driver fluff #cw: battle #tw: dead body #injuries #cw: blood

[shadlad24]

Tumblr Master Post

(Third Mensiversary)

Hey, guys! So, instead of the usual monthly post, I decided to consolidate everything. From now on, I will update the following list and reblog it every 22nd. Enjoy!

Please note that Tumblr either cannot or will not preserve my formatting. So, I have used Google Docs as well. Please click on this link if you’d prefer that. It’s open to all. Thanks!

My posts are almost XWP-related and can be categorized into eight main categories (The pic below is merely for record-keeping and visualization purposes; scroll down for the actual links):

Questions

Curious— Why does everyone think Gabrielle/Renée O’Connor has green eyes?

A Favor to the God of War?— What in the world was the favor Ares wanted from Gabrielle during “Sacrifice”?

Smoking Gun?— Why did Hope knowing Solan’s name give her away as his killer?

Good Luck, Kid!— Why was security so bad in “Maternal Instincts”?

The Love of Your Love— Wasn’t the second verse of this song frustrating and hurtful to Gabrielle?

The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares— Why does so little about Ares’s character make sense?

Hard Ask— Can I PLEASE get a willing, able, AND reliable beta-reader for my Xena fanfic???

The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares [Reblog]— Three more questions about the god of war

No Way— Is the titular image of “Xena: Warrior Princess” what it seems?

Episode Reflections

Random Thoughts While Watching XWP— funny moments from “A Family Affair,” “Them Bones, Them Bones,” “Married with Fishsticks,” and “Coming Home”

Observations from “Sins of the Past”— fifteen things I noticed while watching the episode for the second time (first after completing the series)

Running Commentary on “A Family Affair”— just what it sounds like XD

Concluding Thoughts on “A Family Affair”— a defense of Hope and Gabrielle

Echoes Across the Years— how Solan’s last conversation with his mother echoed Gabrielle’s first with the warrior princess

Redeeming “Fishsticks,” Part 1— how the adults and themes in Gabrielle’s dreamworld held great significance

Redeeming “Fishsticks,” Part 2— how Crustacea’s monstrous children were re-imaginations of Hope and The Destroyer

Fault— my thoughts on the series finale

Good Luck, Kid! [Reblog]— a fun little extension of the original post showing the impression Gabrielle made on Hope

Original Fanfic Excerpts

The Mother of Hope, a collection of one-shots exploring Gabrielle’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences with/about her daughter

Disparity— Hope’s and Gabrielle’s conversation during the final commercial break of “A Family Affair”

Somewhere— Gabrielle searching Tartarus for Hope while Ares was harassing Xena and Solan in “God Fearing Child”

Super Challenge— the entire Rift Arc summed up in a single conversation, the lines of dialogue coming from each of the twelve Rift episodes of season three

Aperture— Gabrielle’s thoughts the night of her wedding

The Daughter of Duality, Hope’s life story from her perspective

My Great Hope— Seraphin prepares her goddess for childbirth

Hope Rising— Baby Hope makes a terrible mistake

“Tears of a Goddess: Blood Rain,” a one-shot exploring “Motherhood” from the goddess of love’s perspective

Useless— Aphrodite agonizes over what to do when alone with Gabrielle and Eve

Tears of a Goddess, a story in which Aphrodite comes clean about the large part she played in Gabrielle’s life behind the scenes

Gabrielle Rages against Xena— the bard finds herself at Aphrodite’s temple, heartbroken and lost after the series finale

Aphrodite Ribs Gabrielle— Aphrodite complains about Gabrielle’s mishaps throughout the show

Rapprochement, a story about Xena and Gabrielle hashing out The Rift Arc before finally coming together as a couple

The Answer— Xena reminds Gabrielle of who she is

Divine Intervention— Aphrodite blesses Xena and Gabrielle’s union

Adventures in Moving Forward, a chronicle of Aphrodite’s and Gabrielle’s adventures together post-AFIN and all my other XWP stories

Stranger— Aphrodite protects Gabrielle from a mob in Brittania

The Betrayer, Gabrielle's untold experience during “The Deliverer.”

Disturbance— Xena makes an unexpected suggestion on how to stop Gabrielle’s recurring nightmare

Deception— Khrafstar fills multiple voids in Gabrielle’s heart

Defilement— Reality slips away from Gabrielle with the loss of her blood innocence

Desecration— Gabrielle becomes one with darkness

Dissolution— The return of Gabrielle’s hero brings about only more tragedy

Fan Theories

Soul Orbits and Psychic Echoes— how Xena and Gabrielle got their children through equal and opposite people and circumstances

Shazam!— how Xena might be able to come back after the series finale

Man-Killer— what really happened to Toris

An Unsung Hero— Aphrodite being Gabrielle’s guardian angel throughout the Rift Arc

Infamous, Infuriated— why Xena engaged in the GabDrag (and BardBraining)

Solving Some Problems with Ares— answering two of my own questions about the god of war

Odd, Sort of Beautiful Symmetry— how we ended up with Annie and Harry

Soul Orbits and Psychic Echoes [Reblog]— an extension of the original theory that focuses more on Solan and Hope themselves

Solving More Problems with Ares— answering my next questions about the god of war

Episode Cracksubs

The Comedy of Amphipolis— “The Haunting of Amphipolis”

What in the Gurkhan?— “Who’s Gurkhan?”

Them Bones and Boneheads— “Them Bones, Them Bones”

TL;DRs— cliff-notes version of longer posts

TL;DR #1: Soul Orbits and Psychic Echoes

TL;DR #2: Infamous, Infuriated

TL;DR #3: The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares

Funny Little Moments— (Five:) a series highlighting overlooked silly things from each episode, illustrated in pictures and cracksubs / (More:) summation posts showcasing additional funny moments from each episode, in half-season chunks

Five Funny Little Moments #1: “Sins of the Past”

Five Funny Little Moments #2: Chariots of War

Five Funny Little Moments #3: Dreamworker

Five Funny Little Moments #4: Cradle of Hope

Five Funny Little Moments #5: The Path Not Taken

Five Funny Little Moments #6: The Reckoning

Five Funny Little Moments #7: The Titans

Five Funny Little Moments #8: Prometheus 

Five Funny Little Moments #9: Death in Chains 

Five Funny Little Moments #10: Hooves and Harlots

Five Funny Little Moments #11: The Black Wolf

Five Funny Little Moments #12: Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

Miscellaneous

Golden Ticket— Renee O’Connor’s initial responses to me on Instagram

Bath Time— a fun self-challenge involving making a story from recently downloaded/screenshot images in just a few minutes

Mensiversary— review of my first month on Tumblr

Confirmation/Affirmation— Steven L. Sears’s essay of support for my Furies theory

K.O.— Renée O’Connor liking my comment about ^

Hooray!— The Mother of Hope is finished (kinda)

Aww…— a quick picture post to try something new while I was bummed about the deadly tech bug that obliterated my posts for weeks

Second Mensiversary— review of my second month on Tumblr

NOOO!— a lamentation related to The Mother of Hope

The (Many) Problem(s) with Ares [Reblog/Response]— answering a reader

More Funny Little Moments #1: Season 1, Episodes 1-12

*Other

Black Hole— a poem about depression

It’s Nothing— a poem on invalidation

What the?— the beginning of the bug :(

#xwp #xena warrior princess #xena #xena and gabrielle #gabrielle #link post #fan theory #fanfic #fanfiction #xena fanfiction #gabrielle fanfiction #cracksubs

[pedropascallovebot]

Let's Kill Tonight

summary: You're a bit out of practice, but being entrusted with the retrieval and return of Helmut Zemo shouldn't be too hard, right? Even if he is your old sorta-boss and you still are nursing unfortunate loyalty towards the team. You can manage. And him being... slightly more attractive than how you last left him won't be a problem.

Right?

warnings and a/n: i have.... no clue what this is if not a complete rewrite of mcu canon purely for self-indulgence. reader has a kinda shady past and in result will talk graphically about violence in later chapters and there's lots of gun action in this one. very fun, very cool! alright. i hope y'all enjoy teehee

—

The weather where you're at doesn’t usually vary much from a sunny sky, but alas, you’re absolutely drenched by the time you step inside the diner. You hadn’t expected the rain. Your usual five minute walk to work turned into a hike through muddy sidewalks and water droplets that kept hitting your eyes, and by the time you tied your apron around your waist the day felt over before it even started. Your boss gives you a closed-lip smile and glances at your empty section of tables, and you just know you’re going to be late on rent again.

For what it’s worth, Lüleburgaz isn’t the worst place to slip under the radar. It’s not underpopulated by any means, but it makes it perfect to blend in with the crowd as best you can. Honestly, you're just trying to make it a day without a proper therapist. Your roommates are great listeners, don't get it twisted- but all they really know about you is you're Sokovian and they don't really need to hear about the stuff that happened before your country was crushed by some guys in tights and iron suits. They don't ask you much, and you're grateful.  After an unfortunate five-year gap in employment (which isn’t your fault- it’s kinda hard to find jobs when you’re reduced to dust unexpectedly) you were lucky to find somewhere that was willing to hire you without a legally issued identification card and that was also willing to pay in cash under the table. You broke out the books and attempted to learn the language as best as you can, and while you're struggling a bit, you can at least understand the menu and what a customer is ordering. It was far from ideal- ideal would be completely erasing any trace of memory regarding you and your… history, so to speak, from anybody who has the potential to be a threat to you. Ideal could also be an island somewhere, maybe Praslin or Nassau, where you could swim in clear waters and drink copious amounts of fancy fruity drinks instead of whatever liquor your roomies had hiding under the counter. But until that happens, being on the sorta-run for some questionable past career choices seems to stick.

Said questionable career choices led you to be introduced to a network of interesting people, some less horrible than others, but all of them carried the same unmistakable signal of danger displayed in flashing lights above their heads. When you hear the bell to the restaurant door jingle, signaling the arrival of someone new, that weird gut feeling activates and your eyes flicker up to see a pair of high heels and sunglasses, even though the sun hasn’t been out all day. Everyone else eating their food don’t even spare a glance to the door. This should comfort you, it should tell you that you're fine and that there's nothing to worry about, but it absolutely doesn’t and suddenly you’re inconspicuously making your way to the back, muttering something to your boss about taking your break early. Ripping off your apron, you throw it to the side and let it land on the ground next to you, and you lean your head against the brick wall behind you. Your fingers are twitching as the pressing issue of impending doom continues to rise in your gut. You barely register the creaking sound of the back gate opening.

“Do you want a cigarette?” Suddenly, you’re in fighting stance as an unfamiliar voice speaks less than a foot away from your ear. You don’t recognize this new face, but she looks expensive and entirely too out of place for a diner that receives in its eggs already prepared and frozen.

“I’ll take that as a no, then,” she continues, and fishes a lighter and pack out of her coat pocket. “Good choice. These things will kill you- and so will this godawful food you serve here. What a relief that after today you won’t step foot in this place ever again, huh?”

Your mouth opens to say something, but you decide against it. Instead, you slightly lower your fists, keeping your eyes trained on her seemingly unbothered expression. She takes a long drag of her cigarette before giving you any more information. The silence is deafening, and you mentally take note of the clear path you have through the open fence and towards the street if you chose to run. Something tells you this lady didn’t arrive here on foot though, and she probably had an expensive vehicle waiting out front waiting to catch up to you if you chose to make a break for it.

“You’re jumpy- probably a little bit out of practice from the whole ex-assassin thing, right? I can work with that. I have to applaud you: as far as hide and seek spots go, this wasn’t horrible. We’ll have to improve your people skills, but-“

“Who are you?”

You grow increasingly frustrated as it starts to sprinkle again, leaving you cold and wet as your company opens an umbrella she had previously stored away in her coat.

“I don’t like being interrupted, so let’s not make it a habit, hm? My name is Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, and you’ve become annoyingly important to my cause. Come on, we’re leaving.”

She begins to walk towards the gate, but you stay put, beginning to toy with the idea of unsheathing the knife stored in your boot.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, lady.”

This makes her turn around and sigh in frustration.

“The way I see it, you have two choices. Go back and finish bussing tables so you can make an extra couple dollars, or come with me so we can talk real business. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the only one between the two of us that poses a threat. I’m not the one with weapons hidden in my clothes, am I?”

Your eyes narrow, but you don’t argue. Instead, you hesitantly join her in her path towards a gaudy car (you knew it) that looks way too out of place to be in this parking lot. For a split second you consider going back and giving your manager somewhat of a notice of your absence, but Valentina’s walking so fast that you don’t really have time to continue considering.

“By the way, I distinctively said my name is Valentina Allegra de Fontaine- I don’t like to repeat myself, don’t make me do it again.”

-

You barely have time to sit down before Valentina is barking directions at her driver and scolding you for getting rain water in her backseat. You remain silent, and a little bit uncomfortable as Val finishes her cigarette completely before bothering to inform you of whatever the hell she’s got going on.

“Tell me what you know about super soldiers,” she finally gives, crossing her legs and glances at you expectantly.

You search her face for any kind of indication that she’s kidding, but she seems serious. It kinda feels like your soul is being stared into and you want to look away but you can’t. What does she not know about super soldiers that she can learn from you and not from literally anywhere else? Admittedly, all you know is what clips of newspapers would give you. Something about rogue experimentation, something-something Winter Soldier, and then, most recently, the Flag-Smashers and the rumors flying around that they've got some serum floating around. All of this seemed to be public knowledge though. Nothing a woman who’s willing to corner people in the backlots of their jobs couldn’t find out from a simple Google search.

“I asked you a question, didn’t I?”

“I can’t say I know much.”

For what feels like the millionth time in the span of twenty minutes, she sighs, bringing out her cell phone and starts punching some buttons.

“And what about this man? Does he ring a bell?”

You do your absolute best to not look as tense as you feel when out of the corner of your eye you see a familiar face in a tiny, grainy picture. She shoves the device in your hands, and right there center of the screen is-

“Zemo, right? That was a trick question. Hard to forget the face of your old boss, I’d assume.”

Suddenly, you’re upright in your seat, the earlier feeling of danger settling right back into place. Valentina, of course, just lets out a laugh, while you’re planning on swan-diving out the damn window.

“The Colonel isn’t my boss,” you protest, and a burning sensation makes its way to your throat.

“Isn’t he though?” Valentina is now fully turned towards you, her hand reaching to grab the phone back. More buttons are pressed, and she’s reading your name from an official looking online database. “It says here you’re wanted in a lot of countries, huh? I wonder why that is- oh, look at this, would you? Seems like your name and EKO Scorpion are mentioned in the same sentence at least three times just on this page.”

Your eyes narrow, and you waste no more time in grabbing your gun from your coat pocket, and Valentina seems to have the same idea, the phone  in her hands is now replaced with a much newer and nicer pistol than you’re carrying. It’s silent in the car for a few seconds, and the driver in the front dares not move a muscle. Val is the first to break, and she lowers her weapon with a shit-eating grin you’re growing tired of seeing.

“Let’s start over. You’re associated with an elite death squad assigned to defend the interests of a country that’s no more than a pile of rubble and dead memorial flowers on the ground. You never had an official invitation, but they paid you good enough money for you to get your hands dirty for them. Too bad that without a leader, your little syndicate fell apart, didn’t it? Unfortunate, what happened to him really. And how inconvenient it must have been for you- I’m sure the law doesn’t usually side with individuals associated with terrorists. Luckily for you, you had a five-year break from being on the run.”

The urge to fall back into old form and pull the trigger at the slightest sign of trouble starts to rear its ugly head, but you take a deep breath and try to align your focus to your current situation. This doesn’t have to be deadly. She knows your history, she knows your name. She could just be blackmailing you. Easy fix, offer her better information on individuals that are far, far away from you. You’re sure you can think of something juicy enough to entertain her and fray her interest in you. This doesn’t have to end in a gunshot. She has access to all of the shit you’ve done. You don’t know what she knows. She could be from the American government. Kill her, and lessen the risk of being thrown in a prison cell to rot.You’re desperate, and you’re scared, and it’s making you vulnerable. You take another deep breath in, and lower your gun.

“What do you want?” Valentina falls back into her seat, clearly very amused by the entire situation now that guns weren’t drawn.

“The Flag-Smashers are becoming increasingly difficult as they’re forming alliances with seemingly every gang of mercenaries for hire. The serum belongs in the hands of someone who knows what to do with it, don’t you think?”

This lady is clearly out of her mind, but you’re too far in now and you don’t feel like questioning her on her morals or the ethics of this situation.

“I don’t want any business with Morganthau, and I don’t care about super soldiers. If that’s all you need me for, you might as well find someone else.”

“Who said anything about you dealing with Flag-Smashers? No, for you,” she starts, grabbing the phone once more and resuming that annoying clicking as she searches through various links, “I have a slightly less… hazardous task. No killing involved, sadly. I’m sure your lovely skillset will keep until it’s needed, but you will be finding Zemo for me, where I can pay him far too much money so he’ll kill the Flag-Smashers for me.”

It’s your turn to laugh, now. “In case you haven’t heard, Helmut Zemo is rotting away in prison for the rest of his life. How is he going to be of any help to you?”

Valentina doesn’t bother giving you a verbal response, just shoves that damn phone in your face again. You glare at her before your eyes skim over the article. Breakout. Zemo. The Falcon. Prison. You curse internally, and she lets her arm fall back to her side. You realize you haven’t been paying too much attention to where the driver was taking you both until you feel the vehicle holt to a stop, and you look up to realize you’re in a parking garage, and the faint sounds of airplanes fly overhead.

“As of now, you and I are a two-man team, but this won’t be the case for long. Zemo is with Sam Wilson and James Barnes in a safehouse in Riga. You and I aren’t the only ones looking for him, however, which makes your job a little tricky, but I don’t have much faith in the guy assigned in returning him to Berlin.”

“Who is he?”

“I assume the name John Walker doesn’t need an explanation?”

You shake your head.

“Walker can be of use to us, and we’re gonna need him- just not yet. What I need from you at the current moment is to make sure you get to these coordinates,” the driver is suddenly handing you a slip of paper with numbers scribbled on it, and you take it, “before Walker gets Zemo.”

You inhale, and Valentina gives you a look.

“I assume you have a question?”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to get Walker on your side sooner? Maybe if you could say the right thing, persuade him to bring Zemo to us-"

Valentina cuts you off with a scoff. “What? That if we tell Captain America to hand over an international prisoner so we can extract information and hire him to kill for us he’ll do it? Walker wants one thing right now: he wants that serum. Coincidentally, your friend Zemo wants that serum gone. IF we get to him first, which you will, he’ll be more than happy to oblige. Walker is at a tipping point, but he’s not useful to us. Yet. We just have to wait until he's vulnerable.”

She takes your silence as an okay to continue. “Get to Latvia, find Zemo. Use that pretty face of yours to charm him into coming with you, maybe share some war stories around the campfire. I don’t give a damn how you get it done. Walker’s already halfway there by now.”

You are really starting to question how Valentina is getting her information, but before you can say anything else, she’s motioning for her driver to slide another piece of paper in your hand. Your eyes go wide at the numbers listed after a dollar sign.

“I assume this would be enough to cover your services?”

You look up at her, nodding your head slightly.

“Half now, half when you bring him to me,” she finishes, and the driver is unlocking your side of the car. “It looks like we’re in business then.”

#helmut zemo #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #helmut zemo x you #fanfiction #complete disregard for canon #marvel #mcu #i wrote this when i should of been sleeping

[gettingoutdoors]

VAGABOND

There is a certain romance to packing up and just driving to try, if only for a moment, and live off the grid. For seven years we have loaded up and headed west to Colorado. Part of the time we host a trip with some of our clients and the rest is left to our own adventure. I crave this time every year. This time, I have to admit, I was a little less than enthusiastic. A departure from our norm of camping along the way in places where cell towers and wifi have not reached yet. Also, a little shorter time trying to squeeze in between kids' summer camps.

But, when I’m with my pack of humans just a little out of reach from the rest of the world, it’s magic. The load is lighter. We reconnect.

So, the Yampa was rolling high and dirty. The Captain needed to test a section to see if it was a viable option for clients. He didn’t have to ask me twice. I was in. And the kids were down for a good raft.

Let’s talk about expectations. A little bonus guide tip that can also be applied to traveling with kids or just life in general. Make sure what you expect as a guide and what your clients are looking to experience are in alignment and realistic. I knew that conditions on the river were extra tough, so I really did not expect much of anything in the way of fishing. It was going to be extra technical. I also knew that when we are traveling with kids, even though they are getting older, it’s more about them. That being said. I absolutely love a challenge. One fish caught in a tough scenario, is much more satisfying to me than tons of fish that come easily.

I knew that if I had any chance of a fish, my cast needed to be accurate. No time for mess ups. (Confession: I did have one tangle at the beginning). My favorite guide got me on a good drift in spite of these conditions, and I hooked up a nice rainbow. My excitement was equal to that of the double rainbow (not fish) guy on youtube (google it). I don’t always get shots of me with fish. There are some trips that there is no photographic evidence that I was even present — just word of mouth.

But this year, Little Miss has gotten into photography. She immediately grabbed my camera. Little Man came tripping over seats and bags from the other end as I was in the middle of my dance with the fish—letting it run then pulling up when I had a window. He was hoping to release the fish. The one shot we have, he has just fallen flat on his face. We are both telling him that he can release the next one which ended up being a nice little brown.

There was minimal fishing for the babes due to conditions. Back to expectations. They were made aware at the beginning and it made the day much smoother.

Normally, these days, I spend some time on the oars. Usually, we have the drift boat (which I now call mine). I have not rowed a raft unless you count numerous rafting trips with a guide and everyone gets a paddle. (I do really think I helped the guide on a few of my raft trips.) Anyway, I have felt a little beaten up by our homewaters in Arkansas. All are tailwaters and we have gotten incredible amounts of rain. The days that I have been able to get on the water have not been the greatest for my little drift boat without an engine. Needless to say, I was a little hesitant to row a large raft in high, fast, new-to-me water. But, I had an excellent instructor who helped me successfully navigate through some rough water. What a rush!

Our day turned stormy. On a side note, it had rained the day before. I had picked up a book, Into the Raging Sea, at this quaint little indie bookstore. (Yes, they serve lattes, and yes, I did partake.) The book was about the sinking of El Faro in 2015. It has been awhile since I lost myself in a book. I devoured this one. This was fresh on my mind as we found ourselves surrounded on all sides with thunder and lightning without a soul in sight. (We never saw anyone else that entire trip). Never take for granted the power of weather and water. I know we weren’t at sea in a hurricane, but my mind was running wild—complete with a helicopter rescue. Oddly enough, this circle of sunlight stayed with us for the rest of our float as we watched the storm around us. It was beautiful.

Every year, our pack has a song. This year was an album from Caamp. One song in particular, Vagabond, came to the forefront of our journey. It captures this spirit, this quest for adventure, this yearning to break away from the norm, from the mundane.

“In the night while my body slept in my bed My mind was running through the woods instead One hundred miles an hour in the fast lane One hundred miles an hour in my head.

Vagabond dreamin’ takes me through the night Sippin’ whiskey by the river living out of sight One hundred miles an hour in the fast lane One hundred miles an hour to the light.”

Ok, ok. So more like sippin’ Capri Suns with no added sugar. Here’s to many more adventures,

Kati

#outdoors #black and white photography #flyfishing #colorado #orvis #find your path #explore #family travel

[link4eva]

Kiro’s R&S: Bystanders (Chapters 33-34) Translation [CN]

Hi, y’all! Just a couple of quick notes before you begin reading...

This R&S translation contains spoilers from the CN server for Chapters 33-34 which have not yet been released in the ENG server. So if you don’t wish to be spoiled then please don’t look below the cut! 

The next thing is that I don’t actually know any Chinese myself so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate and with a huge help from the lovely @keliosyfan​ . Thanks so much!! 

Hope you enjoy!~

No matter how the outside world changes, his heart is as pure as always.

[Chapter 1]

That experimental kid.

This is Hephaistos’ first impression of the new Helios.

He first saw this kid, not at the headquarters, but on the TV on the side of the road.

A blonde young man, with a soft smile within his blue eyes, sang a song in English on stage. The camera turned away from the stage. Fans screamed and waved light sticks frantically, the directors and judges on the side were all intoxicated.

Passers-by, who were attracted by the youth’s singing, gathered in front of the TV, obsessively looking at the shining star on the screen.

Only Hephaistos in the crowd stood by with cold eyes. He clearly understands the hypocritical admiration in front of him and what kind of fanatic power he will eventually integrate into his plan. This is the purpose of BLACK SWAN; to promote the symbol of “Kiro” to the public.

What’s so good about this kid’s singing performance? Hephaistos huffed and left uninterestedly.

But that impression would soon be overturned.

The dark alleys are not easy to navigate after the rain. The muddy water and blood mix together to form shallow puddles. Each footstep produces a sticky sound. Hephaistos ordered his men to clean up the mess. He looked to find the silver-haired young man walking out of the shadows and greeted him, “It’s done?”

Helios took a USB flash drive from his pocket and threw it to him: “It’s all here.”

“The new Helios’ methods are much more straightforward than I thought.” Hephaistos looked at the humble gadget in his hand, “It seems that working with you in the future should be easy.”

He stretched out his hand to Helios: “It seems I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Hephaistos, but you’d better not call me by this name. It’s too confusing, and I’m not used to it.”

Helios glanced at the dark-skinned man in front of him. The other party showed him a friendly smile, but his gaze in the nightlight looked like a falcon locked onto its prey, making his nerves instinctively go on high alert.

He nodded but didn’t hold Hephaistos’ hand back: “There’s blood on my hand. Makes it inconvenient.”

Hephaistos expressed his understanding and stepped to the side: “Are you coming back with me to headquarters now?” 

“There’s something else.” Helios obviously didn’t intend to talk to him more, so he left.

Seeing Helios walking away, Hephaistos said: “I’ve heard your song.”

Helios paused and turned his head.

“Although I don’t have much appreciation for music, I still think it’s a good song.” Hephaistos lips formed a slightly playful smile. “Just thinking of someone who can write such sunny and gentle lyrics who is capable of creating such horror in a blink of an eye. I can’t help but feel goosebumps.”

Helios’ expression remained the same: “Are you done talking nonsense?”

“Is this really nonsense? I just thought I’d remind you,” Hephaistos gave a step back. “Since you have returned to the dark, don’t think of the light anymore.”

When Helios heard this statement, his gaze dropped slightly. When he raised it again, his golden pupils were sharp as blades, and they passed the corner of Hephaistos’ crooked smile. However, the murderous intent was taken back by him in an instant.

“Then, let me remind you. Before reminding me, do your own thing first.”

“Of course I will do my own thing.” Hephaistos held the USB up to him, “Don’t worry. You and I are in the same group.”

Helios didn’t respond to this “companion” who suddenly showed up. He didn’t look back at Hephaistos as he turned and left the dark alley. 

“Brat.” Hephaistos clicked his tongue. He added an attribute to his previous impression of Helios in his mind.

The experimental kid that is difficult to deal with.

[Chapter 2]

Hephaistos never felt that BLACK SWAN was set in stone. Just 17 years before, there was a rift in the organization and the eventual addition of Ares and Hades was the fuse that completely detonated the rift.

Although BLACK SWAN did not appear to have any anomalies on the surface, the undercurrent surging underneath the surface had long been divided into two streams by an invisible boulder, both heading towards different goals.

When Hephaistos stood in front of the diverging boulder, he didn’t take much time to think before choosing his own direction. After all, compared with Hades’s paranoia, another “new world” was attractive to him.

Even if his companion was the experimental kid who is difficult to deal with. 

Helios had settled into the organization earlier than him. As one of the main members of the plan, his influence became more and more prominent. The identity of “Kiro” was already a burden to him. Throwing it in the trash is one thing but the reality is another.

A Lincoln slowly drove out of the hall, flanked by crowds. In the crowds, everyone was blurred by the drizzling rain. Only the swinging flashlights in their hands were visible in the night.

“WE LOVE KIRO” *Made some word changes here* Hephaistos glanced out the window and said, “I didn’t understand you at your comeback concert before. Anyway, it was just a farce made by Anole to solve his problem. That’s it, there’s no need to re-enter the stage-life at all.”

Kiro’s comeback to the entertainment world is a major event. It caused a lot of waves and rippled even in BLACK SWAN. But, given that Helios himself has always been a maverick and is now the leader of the organization, everyone only dared to talk secretly. However, Hephaistos is different. He and Helios have had a cooperative relationship from the beginning. Even before the two met, Hephaistos would’ve been happy to dance on Helios’ minefield of a temper.

“Or, did you come back because you still want to enjoy being a big star? Is it fun for you to watch those young girls scream for you?” 

“Shut up.” The man who was still smiling at the fans with an angelic smile was expressionless at this moment. When he heard this sentence, he did not raise his head and continued to tap the keyboard with his fingers.

“Ah, I understand.” Hephaistos suddenly thought of something and grinned. “You are all about that girl.”

Tap.

The crisp sound of the pressing of the ENTER key drowned out all the other sounds in the car cabin.

Helios looked at the calculation results displayed on the screen, his eyes dimmed: “I have my own considerations, and I don’t need others to interfere.”

“I’m not interfering. I’m just making small talk. I was bored anyway.” Hephaistos turned the steering wheel and drove steadily down the road. “Besides, I have to thank you for being “Kiro”, because otherwise, it would have been difficult for us to get an invitation for this banquet.”

Helios didn’t say anything. He quietly looked out the car window. A drizzle of rain ran across the glass, splitting his reflection in the window into countless fragments. At that moment, he no longer seemed to be a “Helios” nor a “Kiro”.

The two were silent for the rest of the way until the towering banquet building finally appeared in the night; like a dormant beast waiting for its prey to mindlessly walk into its trap. Helios just said in a low voice: “Since I’m going to act low-key this time, I can go in alone. You can station yourself outside.”

“No problem.” Hephaistos reminded Helios, “Leto’s tricks up his sleeve are almost all gone. It’s no surprise that this kind of madman will attempt anything at this banquet. Since you are going to bring QUEEN into this banquet, you must get her and bring her out.”

“Of course I will bring her out,” Helios replied, “As you said, everything we do is for the New World. In the New World Project, QUEEN is indispensable.” 

Hephaistos smiled: “It is all for the New World….right?” He pressed the pedal, “The time is near. Go. Don’t let your little dance partner wait for you any longer.”

[Chapter 3]

The rain has stopped.

15 minutes have passed since Helios and QUEEN entered the lobby. However, fans and reporters crowded around and were not willing to disperse anytime soon. Hephaistos, who had not received his next command, continued to hide in the crowd and wait. From time to time, one or two conversations of passers-by floated in his ears, nothing more than that surrounding the dazzling star and his dancing partner.

“Unfortunately I couldn’t see what it looked like….”

“I seem to have taken a picture but something was blocking the view.”

“I really want to be Kiro’s dance partner too!” 

Hephaistos raised the corners of his lips slightly. In the hall, everyone was so occupied with the scene in front of them, paying no mind to the trivial things in the outside world. Hephaistos didn’t know whether to think it ridiculous or sad. As he was looking around, there was a sudden scream coming from the door! *Took some liberties in translation here*

“What’s the matter?”

“What happened?!”

The reporters outside wanted to rush into the hall that was now filled with the scent of blood but were stopped by a line of uniforms that appeared out of nowhere. The perimeter of the building was quickly sealed off. A siege launched inward in an orderly fashion.

“Are the people from NW here too?” Hephaistos asked and a brief command came from his headset: “Leto has acted.”

“Can you handle it?”

“I was slightly delayed by Anole’s trick.” Helios’ sounded slightly out of breath, presumably because he was running, “He shifted into Leto’s form and garnered everyone’s attention. You don’t have to worry about the situation inside. Just wait outside.”

“No problem.” Hephaistos could faintly hear the screams from both his headset and from the inside. It was obvious that the situation inside was not as relaxed as Helios stated it to be. He stepped back slowly and informed Helios: “Right. People from the NW. Moving in soon.”

“....”

“You know?” Hephaistos was surprised for a moment but he also quickly figured it out. If Leto is gone, NW and the Task Force will naturally have to draw a clear line with the loser.

Everyone is in this melee, fighting for their own agendas. He is just a bystander in all this.

Hephaistos took advantage of the commotion and disappeared into the crowd.

Hephaistos didn’t wait long at the agreed pick-up location before he saw Helios walking over from the woods.

He is no longer the blonde he was when he was inside. His silver hair is sprinkled with star-dust like shimmer in the moonlight. It almost seems ethereal. The dried blood on his cheeks was the only indicator that he was in fact not an elven prince who came from the moon but rather a Shura* who had just returned from purgatory.

*Note about Shura from @keliosyfan​* 

The Shura that is mentioned is talking about the Buddhism demigod of war Asura. In Japanese, it's used to describe a person who has to fight an endless war against something in a relentless or inhumane manner. Hephaistos was making a comparison between how Helios (as blonde kiro) went into the banquet all nicely dressed and clean like an elven prince from the moon and then later came out with blood on his face (silver-haired Helios) as if he just fought some bloody battle which he probably did.

Continue

“Nailed it?”

“Leto escaped but he can’t go far.” Helios said faintly, “There is no way he can escape the dog.”

“Yeah. The rest is for the Task Force and they will have a headache. As long as our goal is achieved.” 

Hephaistos asked, “Where is QUEEN?”

“Sent her back.” Helios pondered for a while and decided to share some more information.

“After her Evol was retrieved, her strength became even more powerful and there was not much time left for us.” 

“I understand.” Hephaistos opened the door and motioned Helios to get in.

“Where to next?”

“Go to the temporary headquarters.”

After speaking, Helios climbed into the car. As he passed Hephaistos, Hephaistos suddenly noticed that the rain had stopped a while ago but Helios had water stains on his shoulders.

That seems to be….tears?

[Chapter 4]

The description of the bereaved dog is a bit too good. Under the first-hand news report of QUEEN and the live video uploaded by KEY, Leto’s true face was thoroughly exposed to the public’s eyes. As this is such sensational news, BLACK SWAN was naturally made aware of it.

At this time, many members of BLACK SWAN are on standby in the temporary base. Although they are scattered apart, the center of the crowd is still the young silver-haired man. It seems that wherever he is, he will be the most eye-catching light.

“I just got three pieces of news. One good, one bad, and one really bad. Which one do you want to hear first?”

“Say it if you want to, or shut up if you don’t.”

Hephaistos leaned against the wall and tsked boringly: “Then tell me the good news first. Artemis was also in the banquet hall at the time and was injured.”

Hearing that the members of the same group were injured, Helios didn’t even flinch: “Her life and death have nothing to do with us.”

“That’s true. As for the good news and the bad news, I’ll talk about them at the same time. The good news is that the Special Task Force has surrounded the orphanage. No matter how hard Leto struggles, he’s already dying. The really bad news is that even if he is dying, a dying beast may still be able to bite when crazy. He has threatened to kill all the kidnapped orphans if QUEEN won’t go to speak to him unaccompanied.” Hephaistos said this and paused deliberately.

“Don’t you worry about QUEEN?” 

When he heard the word QUEEN, Helios’ icy appearance seemed to thaw slightly before it quickly froze once more. After a moment of silence, he replied briefly: “I believe in her.”

“Believe in her?” Hephaistos thoughtfully said, “Indeed, if you don’t believe in her, there will be no way to continue.”

He didn’t say anything. Now that QUEEN’s ability has been recovered, this is also an excellent opportunity to observe how much her power can grow.

Hephaistos glanced at a huge device placed behind him. Its shape stood out from the dark environment that it was in. If Hades’s “Return to Zero Plan” was his answer sheet, then this device is of their faction. 

Hephaistos asked in a low voice, “When will our next step begin?”

“The next step is to be done by someone else.”

“Someone else? Is it me? I’m not good at this high-precision work.”

“Of course it’s not you.” Helios glanced at the time. “He’s almost there.”

Ten minutes later, the man Helios had in mind pushed the door open.

Hephaistos didn’t expect to see Ares, the traitor of BLACK SWAN, at the temporary base. He was astonished like everyone else for a moment. When he saw Helios’ unsurprising expression, he quickly calmed down.

Helios said that the person who will take over this next step is actually Ares? In other words, the two of them had been conspiring since a long time ago. He should’ve known sooner.

He even suspected that maybe Ares’ “rebellion” was also the plan made by these two.

Hephaistos looked at the man in black who had walked up to Helios step by step, his palms involuntarily started to sweat. He couldn’t help the way the corners of his mouth rose.

Forget it. No matter what these two have in mind, as long as the goal is achieved, he didn’t care that Ares had returned once more.

After thinking about all of this, he coughed slightly and expressed his greeting first: “Ares, welcome back.”

[Chapter 5]

Leto disappeared. Hephaistos was a little surprised when he heard the news and felt it was reasonable.

As a member of the New World Project, he firmly believes that the power of QUEEN is the key to opening everything. No one can predict how huge a door this key can open and what kind of world will be behind that door. Leto’s disappearance is nothing more than a small experiment to test the power of QUEEN. When her power really breaks through, it will be….

Hephaistos turned his gaze back to his hand holding a photo.

Originally, he did a little research out of curiosity about that girl. He didn’t expect the results of his investigation to be so interesting.

The picture shows a couple embracing each other. Except for the man’s eye-catching silver hair, the two are no different from any other couple in the streets. The girl raised her face slightly, with a bright smile, while the man’s eyes were filled with indefinable affection. It was definitely not the expression that someone monitoring QUEEN should have. It was not for show but rather pure love straight from the heart. 

Even Hephaistos, an outsider, can see the attraction and bond between the two.

“So,” Hephaistos whispered, “No wonder you didn’t let me be nosy at the amusement park. No wonder you insisted on taking her in during the banquet. And no wonder you would be so confident in her.”

Hephaistos once thought that loneliness was the true face of Helios, and the sunny “Kiro” on the screen was a mask he wore. But the soft murmur of the silver-haired youth in the car on the day of the banquet, the tears on his shoulders, and the photo in his hand completely broke this perception.

It seems that his impression of Helios can be rewritten again.

Hephaistos felt that until the arrival of the New World, he could use this observation as a leisurely pastime, adding a little bit of fun to being a bystander.

Even if you are in a chess game.

Plunk.

A soft sound from the device behind him interrupted Hephaistos’ thoughts. He walked towards the device and the flickering signal jumped between his pupils. For a while, he truncated through these light spots and saw the endless world.

Hephaistos smiled to himself.

Forget it. No matter what kind of lingering past, what kind of feelings, bond or obsessions Helios and QUEEN have, they will be crushed by the New World the moment they face the end of truth and evolution.

“This is real romance.” Hephaistos sighed and lit the photo without resignation, and threw it in the trash can.

[END]

#mlqc #mr love #mr love game #mr love kiro #mlqc kiro #mr love queen's choice #R&S translation #mlqc spoilers #zhou qiluo #move over Romeo and Juliet #Kiro and MC is where it's at now #I love this Hephaistos guy #I want more of him

[alwaysachorusgirl]

Things Remembered

Pairing: Loki x Female reader (who is more than she seems)

fandom: MCU (takes place post-Thor: The Dark World)

word count: 1,921

TW: brief mentions of death, mostly hurt/comfort, some angst, a bit of romance

Notes: My first fan fic on Tumblr! This was inspired by a dream I had where I was wandering through an abandoned Marvel themed amusement park. The imagery was so vivid that the next day I was searching Google to find out if it was a real place. It’s not, but I did learn about a lot of other abandoned amusement parks in the US, Europe, and Japan, and looked at a lot of creepy pictures. Comments/Constructive Criticism are welcome! Otherwise, please enjoy!

I starred up at the chained wrought-iron gates of the old abandoned amusement park. I still wasn’t entirely sure what it was that had drawn me here, but I knew, deep down, that it was important. I had seen it my dreams, or were they visions? I wasn’t sure anymore. Even my memories weren’t reliable. There were the ones that were mine, and then there were the ones that weren’t, but they felt so real, like things that had happened. But if that was the case, why didn’t I remember them happening to me, in my lifetime? It was almost as if they belonged to someone else, in another life, in another time.

I peered through the bars into the front entrance of the park. The building that had once served as the box office was boarded up. Most of the paint had chipped away, and it looked like moss and mold were growing in spots. The roof looked like one strong gust of wind would be enough to tear it off.

I turned my attention to the gate and the padlocked chain that was supposed to be holding it shut. I’d done my research beforehand and knew from various urban explorer blogs that breaking in would be the easy part. I reached up and grabbed onto the iron bars, pushing one side of the gate away from me and the other side towards me. The chain didn’t put up any resistance and soon there was an opening big enough for me to slip between. I was in.

The ground was squishy under my feet from the morning’s rain. The skies above were still gray and threatening to storm. I shivered and pulled my coat tighter around me. I gave myself kudos for remembering to wear an old pair of boots. At least my feet would stay warm and dry. I glanced at remains of the park around me and started walking, making a point of staying alert and keeping an eye out for other trespassers.

It wasn’t long before I was approaching what used to be the Grand Fountain. The standing water that was still the fountain reeked of mold and mildew. The old white marble was cracked and crumbling. What a shame, I thought, I used to throw pennies in this fountain. I looked up at the hand painted billboard above the fountain. It was faded, but I could still make out the image of an older, white haired gentleman, with a salt and pepper mustache and glasses. Next to his smiling face were the words: “Excelsior, True Believers!” The man had once been the park’s founder and owner. After he had died the park had been sold to a group of investors. They had promised all sorts of updates and renovations, but none of it had ever materialized, and the park had fallen further into disrepair and debt, until it had been closed for good.

Next, I passed by the bumper cars. I stopped again, sighing gloomily at the sight of it. The cars were all sitting haphazardly in the middle of the floor. Red and gold, purple and green, red, white, and blue, and my favorite, the red and black one; all completely unmoving. It just didn’t feel right, none of this did. I forced myself to turn away and keep moving deeper into the park, closer to my ultimate destination.

A few minutes later I saw it, the Ferris Wheel, aka The Galactus. Painted purple and blue, it has once been the centerpiece of the park. Whatever voice had been calling to me in my dreams, it had been calling me from here. And then, almost as if someone had flipped a switch, the Ferris Wheel lit up and music began to play. It was now or never. I walked up to the entrance of the ride, and that’s when I saw him.

He was tall, with long black hair and a regal air about him. His face was angular and handsome in an other-worldly sense. His eyes, oh his eyes, they were piercing, haunting; I could get lost in those eyes. He smiled when he saw me and held out a hand to me.

“Welcome, my darling, so glad you finally made it. Won’t you step aboard?” He gestured with his other hand towards an open pod on the Ferris Wheel.

“It’s you,” I breathed, “you’re the voice that’s been calling to me.” I was sure I’d never met this man before, but he seemed so familiar, felt so familiar. I trusted him, I felt safe with him. I took his hand and let him pull me up onto the ride’s platform. It was strong, yet gentle. I gazed into his eyes as he lifted it to his lips and kissed it.

“My beloved, I’ve searched for you for so long,” he said, gazing back into my eyes. I followed him into the pod and sat down on the cold metal seat, He seated himself across from me, and closed the door. I heard the click of the metal lock latching shut, and then lurched forward as the Ferris Wheel began to move. My companion quickly reached out and grabbed my arm to steady me. “It’s alright my love, it’s quite safe. I would never allow any harm to come you.”

“Who are you?” I demanded, finally finding my voice. “What’s going on? How do you know me? Why do I feel like I know, even though I’m pretty bloody sure that I’ve never met you before?”

“All your questions will be answered, my love, but first, let me ask you: have you been having troubling dreams? Perhaps snippets of memory that aren’t necessarily yours, and yet, they feel like they are?”

“How do you know about that?”

“Oh, my dear,” he replied with a chuckle, “I know everything about you; who you were before, every life you’ve lived along the way up until now; every time I’ve gotten so close to reaching you, only to have death rip you away from me… tell me, do you believe in curses? Magic? Reincarnation?”

“I…I don’t know…maybe? A little? What does that have to do with anything?”

The Ferris Wheel suddenly stopped, with the two of us now stuck at the top. I had a moment of panic, looking down at the ground, and then back at the dark-haired man. He took my hand and held it between both of his.

“Calm yourself, my love, it’s fine. I just want to talk to you.”

“Fine?!” I cried. “How the bloody hell is this fine? Who are you? What do you want with me?”

“I want you to remember who you really are,” he said, and then, placing a hand under my chin, “Search your mind. Surely, you must remember me; you must remember us, and Camelot.”

“Camelot? Every UK child knows the stories of Camelot,” I told him. “My own memories are...confusing. It feels like there’s a wall around my mind. But there are cracks in that wall, and whenever I try to look between the cracks, that’s when I see things… I see me, living other lives. I have different names and different clothes, but it’s always me.” I raised my eyes to meet his. “I really do feel like I know you. I feel some strange connection with you, and I feel like it’s right there…like the answer is right there where the wall is, but I can’t break through to it.”

“That’s it!” he exclaimed. “The wall in your mind! Break the wall, break the curse! It’s already falling apart, so in theory, one good wrecking ball should be enough to shatter it. Oh Merlin, you lazy bastard, you let your own curse grow weak with time.” He pulled my face close so that it was merely centimeters from his. “I’m going to tell you something, and it’s going to sound insane, impossible even, but I swear that every word is true. Do you trust me?” I nodded, tears starting to fall down my face. He gently brushed one away with his thumb. “Good. The truth is, that in your first life, your real life, you are Morgana Pendragon, half sister to Arthur, rightful Queen upon the throne of Camelot, my one true love, mother of our children, the most powerful sorceress that ever lived. I need you to remember! Wake up, Morgana! Wake up!”

He placed his fingers on my temples and something inside my head snapped. I felt the mental wall shatter and was blinded by a shining gold and green light. My head snapped back. Excruciating pain swept through me and I felt a scream escape my throat. And then I felt myself rising into the air. I heard the rumble of thunder above me and pain in my body was replaced by a strange, yet oh so familiar energy. And I remembered. I remembered everything.

One memory flashed after another: Camelot, Loki, my brother Arthur, and Merlin. Bloody fucking Merlin. His and my brother’s betrayal shown most vividly. That betrayal that had led to the slaughter of my two beautiful sons, and my own death at the stake. Merlin has cursed me while I burned, cursed me to be reborn over and over again, and die young if any inkling of my former life dared to bleed through. But as any well-versed magic wielder will tell you, curses will weaken if not maintained by the caster. Centuries has gone by, and every year Merlin’s curse had grown weaker, and little by little, the cracks had begun to form. And now my bonds were broken. I knew who I was, and I felt my magic flowing through me again as I levitated above the Ferris Wheel.

I was shocked out of my reverie, and thrown out of the sky, when a bolt of lightning broke through the storm clouds and hit me square in the back. I fell, but instead of hitting the ground I was caught but a pair of strong, comforting arms. I looked up to see my lover’s face looking back at me, full of deep concern.

“My love, Morgana, are you alright?”

“Loki?” I inquired, my voice shaking. “Is it really you?”

“Yes, my love, it’s me. I’m here, I’ve got you now, you’re safe,” he answered, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“You found me,” I said, reaching up and caressing his cheek with my fingertips.

“Of course, I found you,” he replied, “I never gave up hope that we would be together again. I swear that I’ll never let anyone take you from me again.” His lips met mine in the most loving of kisses. He was mine, and I was his, and no one would ever tear us apart again. But a question was still rolling around in my brain, and when we broke apart, I looked him straight in the eye and voiced it aloud:

“Loki, where the bloody hell is Merlin?”

 TO BE CONTINUED?

 Post Credits Scene:

Somewhere, on a small Mediterranean island, sat an older gentleman drinking espresso in a café. He was actually much older than he looked, but you wouldn’t think it to look at him. The darkening clouds and a rumble of thunder drew his eyes skyward. The energy in the air around him changed, and his brow furrowed. And then he felt it: a curse, specifically his curse, had at long last been broken. She was awake, and she would be coming for his head…

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki #mcu #loki fan fiction #thor the dark world #camelot #morgan le fay #morgana #merlin

[illyrian-lover-flower]

My partner on four paws

Hi, @autophobiaxx - this is your second gift and honestly I am not quiet as happy with this one as with the first one. 

But I still had my fun writing it, sipmly because it was something entirly new to me. The end might seem a bit rushed though ... I still hope you enjoy it😘. 

Word count (note not included): 8. 382

“Sorry we are late. I had to call my other sister to give me a ride, because the one who actually wanted to drive me here is still stuck at the vet.”  introduced a woman herself as she walked up to our table. Another one, that looked almost like her, close at her heels. A sceptical look on her face with which she eyed our little round.  

Though most of her attention belonged to Rhys, who answered the kinder looking one with a blinding smile and sparkling violet eyes; “It’s fine Feyre, darling. We are just glad you and the lovely sister of yours have found the way to us.”  

The one with the sceptical look only scoffed at him and took up the seat between Cassian and Mor, right opposite of her younger sister I would guess - by the assessing look she gave Rhysand. His form shifting uneasily as he moved to pull the chair out for Feyre.  

Her storm grey eyes looked worriedly around between the group of people who sat at the long table. But those concerned eyes soon found peace as she saw Rhys violet ones. A calming gaze and a careful nod all she needed to feel safe and comfortable while the rest of us eyed her and her connection to our brother.  

Cassian looked at her a bit sceptical, though he was always able to hide that well behind a smile. Amren, next to her, was fully aware of the sharp look she gave her. Letting our guest squirmed under the pressure of her silver eyes while Morrigan’s kind brown, almost gold, ones rested calmy on her. An assessing kind smile on her red lips as she took in the one that was in the middle of Rhysand’s attention.  

I couldn’t really concentrate on her. On anything to be honest.  

Though I do have to admit she looked kind and seemed to have somewhat of a chemistry with our brother, so there is probably no reason to be worried about her. And if she is the one Rhysand rambled on about the entire day when I had called him, to ask when exactly we would meet up, then she would surely be the right one for him.  

His rambles honestly annoyed me at that point. The rambled apologies of a clumsy trainee still ringing in my ear when he started it too.  

Three people in a day that rambled at me. One I barely knew, but didn’t like. My brother and a woman that had ran into me today and tackled me to the ground.  

Those soft words she chose so clumsily still printed in my brain. The entire scene, from just two hours ago, replying itself over and over again in my head.  

This mushy brain of mine having memorized every little freckle on her pale skin. The warm colour play of brown in those soft orbs of hers still catching my breath if I only thought about them. Gold, hazelnut, caramel and gingerbread swirling and chasing around in her Irises. A cosy feeling having settled into my guts when I had seen them.  

“Good evening Ladies and Gentleman. What can I bring you for tonight?” suddenly called me out of my thoughts the waitress, that stood at our table. Luckily Mor was engaged in a lively conversation with the rest of the table that no one had time to look at the menu and pick something to eat, so we ordered our drinks in peace.  

The absence of my attention luckily fallen under the table as no one noticed it.  

‘This would become one hell of a long evening.’ I thought to myself, already rubbing tiredly at my eyes as I studied the menu. In the end I went with the same I always chose and let my mind wonder back out the window. My eyes seeing, but also not recognizing the heavy rain that poured outside on the street.  

Couples with no umbrellas hurrying to get back home from a date or simply a walk, while those people with umbrellas walked calmy among the sidewalks. Crossing the streets and the fallen leaves of fall with a light easiness. Enjoying the drum of the rain on the fabric that kept them dry.  

Red, blue, yellow, orange, dotted and striped umbrellas walking past the window of Rita’s.  

‘I wonder what she is doing.’ ‘If she managed to get back home dry?’ ‘Had her puppy escaped her again?’

I long knew that my thoughts were a tousled mess. A net full of thoughts that kept circling around a woman I didn’t even know the name of while I occasionally tried to listen to the conversation. Knowing now that those who sat at our table were Nesta and Feyre Archeron. The oldest and the youngest of three sisters, their middle sister still stuck somewhere. At the vet if I remembered Feyre’s introduction right.  

Who in their right mind is making an appointment with the vet at seven in the evening? Perhaps she was a business-oriented woman with little time - who knows. Feyre and Nesta, both, did not lose a word about her.  

No name, no age, no mention of their middle sister as the evening aged.  

Mor already all bubbly with Feyre as she admitted “I honestly had not thought that I would have the pleasure to one day meet my cousins Girlfriend.” she chuckled “Up until this point I had thought this one would die alone on his couch claiming ‘I have never met my soulmate!’”  

Feyre only coughed at that while Rhysand seemed to shift around on his chair. Nervous violet eyes looking everywhere but his cousin. For a moment, so it seemed, he searched for help in my hazel eyes. Pleading me silently to do something about it, but I barely had anything at the tip of my tongue when I had a good day. With this bad day lurking above my head, I couldn’t think of anything to get the attention off of him and bring it to me.  

The thought alone of all of their attention on me gave me the chills.  So, Rhys needed to pull through that one alone.  

A nervous gaze turned to Feyre capturing the attention of all of us. Even mine, if only for second.

“Feyre is actually my Fiancé...”  

At this point I was actually glad I paid attention to them, because otherwise the wet spray of cola and red wine, that erupted from Cassian and Amren, would have confused me. But I guess one of the things that will make me remember this evening even in a year, were Nesta and Morrigan.  

Both rising to their full hight, while Feyre and Rhysand seemed to wish for a hole that would swallow them whole. I luckily only had a quiet coughing fit in my silent corner. It was a fracture of seconds until the whole scenario escalated.  

Nesta standing opposite her sister, like the iceberg that caused the Titanic to sink, with crossed arms, while Morrigan was the whole opposite of her. Where Nesta waited for her prey to defend herself and let her dwell in coldness until she did so, did Morrigan leap across the table and pulled her cousin up by his collar.  

Her burning embers meeting slightly frightened violet eyes. “When the hell did you plan on telling us that?!” “Today.” he mumbled, slightly chocked by the collar his cousin had a death grip on.  

The steel eyes of Nesta wandered for a brief second to Rhysand before she turned back to Feyre. Tired of her quietness she asked a question each of us wondered about “How long have you been dating anyway?”  

“Will you let him go once I answer? Because, you know – I still would like to marry him soon.” Mor only scoffed at her cousin and shoved him back into his seat. Taking hers together with Nesta.  

Fire and ice having a weird play with the nerves of all of us.  

Though at this point I would say Feyre and Rhys had luck on their side, as Cassian still recovered from his coughing fit, else an embarrassing stream of questions would have flooded their way.  

Amren –who had moved to the seat opposite of me- occasionally coughed in her glass of wine as she tried to get as far away from the lovebirds as possible.  

“We have been dating sine one and a half year.” declared Feyre proudly. Earning herself a coughing fit from Cass again, who I started to smack on his back. Hoping it would go away sooner.  

While Mor only sighed, “Why hasn’t anyone of you said something earlier? Because, like it looked to me, your sister didn’t seem to know about your engagement too.”  

Nesta only chuckled humourless, answering Morrigan without her ever having asked a question to the steeled woman “When Feyre told me we would meet someone; I had been assuming it was her boyfriend. Not her Fiancé. She was fidgeting after all, so she gave herself away that it was someone important – though I hadn’t thought that important.”  

Feyre only blushed as she found out of her sisters' knowledge.  

‘I wonder, who is going to tell their other sister?’  

But no one seemed to mind that. The table falling back into a comfortable atmosphere once Nesta and Mor took a sip from their wine goblets. Though Amren couldn’t bring herself to swallow down a snappish comment “Do we need to know about another year and a half, in which you had been engaged?”  

“We are only engaged since yesterday!” yelled both quickly, easing the stiff rise of Nesta's and Morrigan's shoulders.  

“That’s why you had googled ‘Ways to propose to someone?’” Rhys spat out his water at Cassian, gaping at him from the front of the table. His beloved Fiancé trying to surpass her giggles, while Mor and Amren had absolutely no problem with bursting out into laughter.  

The dark and the bright one, of our group, turning their voices into a cackling symphony of laughter.

I myself not quite able to hide a quiet chuckle as I looked out of the window again.  Rhys yelled question “What the hell are you doing on my laptop?!” the last thing I heard before fully focusing on the scenery in front of me.

It was quiet a lively picture, despite the late hour. Perhaps it was eight now and yet there were still hundreds of cars, their bright headlights getting reflected by the rain that soaked the bussy streets as they drove all around of Velaris. Occasionally I could make out a man or a woman at the steering wheel, talking into a headset while they drove to work or home.  

‘I wonder as what she works?’  

I found myself wondering again. A humourless chuckle escaped me as Amren kicked my shin carefully ‘I should wander what her name is.’

“Are you alright, Shadow?” she only whispered the question. Well aware that our group of friends would turn their attention immediately to us once they heard her nickname for me.  

It symbolized them that something was very wrong and that I was about to become an empty shadow of who I actually am. Amren had found out about this pretty soon, though she never really pried.  

I still can’t tell if she did it to tell me my guard was too low or if she truly worried about me.  

A sigh was all I could give her as I rubbed at my temple. “You know, the usual hectic day at work. A broken-down printer, a trainee who spilled coffee over the few printed documents all the while I had my boss waiting in his office for an article that was due till yesterday.”  

“Need a glass of wine?”  

“No, I still got to walk home.” “I have to drive home.” she simply answered. Finishing her, perhaps, second glass of wine. Maybe it was already the third.  

If it would have been anybody else than Amren, I would not be that calm with her having to say ‘I am driving home.’. Simply because I knew she could handle her alcohol well. Amren might have been the shortest one of us, but she could drink each of us under the table and still walk straight out the front door.  

But she was a careful driver and I knew if she drank her second glass already, Varian would be on short call tonight.  

Shaking my head, with a chuckle on my lips, at the black-haired woman. A sudden ‘ping’ captured the attention of the entire table. All our eyes going to the oldest Archeron who rummaged through her little purse for her phone. Not batting an eyelash at each of us as the phone kept her attention.  

Cassian slowly leaned over her shoulder, to peer at the screen as a whistle escaped him and a sigh Nesta. She already wanted to put her phone away, when my other brother spoke up. “Why haven't you brought your kid with you?”  

Feyre chocked on her wine, while her sister looked at him as if he had grown another head.

Weird, somewhere I had seen this look before.  

“Excuse me?”  

He pointed to Nesta’s phone. Her screen saver still on the view for all of us and soon had us all awing. Just not me as I saw the little infant on the screen.  

Dressed in a red woollen dress with black woollen thighs and reindeer horns atop of her honey golden hair, she smiled into the camera. The chubby face of the infant all alight as red colour-that was once only placed on her nose- was smeared all across her face. A Golden Retriever standing proudly behind her, as it seemed to smile in the camera too.  

A phantom feeling suddenly lay itself over my cheek. Memories of far forgotten times coming hurriedly back to the front, like a thunderstorm, as I felt it again. The soft nuzzle of her nose into my hollow cheek and her reindeer horns pinching me in the eyes.  

My bandaged hands holding onto the little ball of sunshine. That gave a frightened six-year-old me, that hadn’t known of anything despite the basement of my father, something to hold onto.  

This little body of hers, that lived in freedom for the year or so which she jumped around on this world, an anchor for me. Who suddenly noticed, that the world was more than just a dark basement and that there were more emotions than anger and hate.  

Happiness seeming to wave off of her as she claimed me in a hug.

A hug.  

When I was little, I hadn’t even known something like that existed. Now as I thought back to my childhood, my mother had given me a hug only a few times, before she was let in the basement again the next week with bruises all over her body.  

It were three hugs I had gotten from her, before that little infant had stormed up to me.  

My heart binding tight to her little ones as I held her cradled into my weak arms. I wasn’t able to hold her very well, those numb hands of mine barely able to keep her up. But I didn’t want to let her go.  

Didn’t want for her to leave my side as she enveloped me in her sunshine.

A blinding sunray I held onto.  

Even now I found my heart wondering at times who she grew to be.  If she was still that little ball of sunshine, spreading happiness and love with every breath she took.  

Wondering if the world gave her what she deserved - a life full of happiness and love and laughter So, it was only clear that I hung on every word Nesta spilled over her little sister, who was displayed as her wallpaper. The hard voice of hers the softest I had heard it tonight.

“That’s my little sister Elain you idiot.” Cass looked sceptically back and forth between the screen and Nesta. As if he couldn’t quite believe that such a bright shining ball of sunshine could be related to this steeled woman.

“And why exactly are you having a picture of your little sister as your background and not your boyfriend ….  or a picture of all three of you?” he hurriedly added with a blush on his cheeks.

I wanted to groan at him for his painfully obvious question. But I couldn’t, my voice was stuck in the back of my throat as a tight feeling wound itself around my heart. The picture in front of me capturing my entire being.

‘Let her continue to talk! God damn it!’  

The oldest Archeron only rolled her eyes at him. Seeming to have a generous heart tonight she gave him the answer he hoped for. “I don’t have a boyfriend and you might not want to believe it, but this background safes hundreds of co-workers each day, from getting yelled at.”  

“May I ask why?” questioned Amren her now, her silver eyes fixed on the phone as she scanned over the chubby face that smiled at us from the screen. This stoned face of hers not showing any indication of what ran through her mind.  

Nesta only raised her eyebrows at her before she fully explained herself; “My sisters are the best human beings in my life. And even though I love both dearly – the cuter pictures exist from Elain. Sorry Feyre for that.”

But she only shook her head, looking with a bright smile at the screen on which one of her older sisters was shown “I am not even angry at you for that one. She looks so adorable! Where have you found it anyway?”

Nesta seemed to think about if for a moment, her eyes not able to stray from her cute sister as this bright smile of hers seemed to remind the steeled Archeron of where she found it “I had rummaged through a couple of old boxes in my apartment and this picture was among the many things I found there. I just had to scan it in and use it as my wallpaper!”  

All of us chuckled as we listened to the two sisters rambling on about their middle one. For the first time of the evening was the attention on the one that was not here with us now.  

But Mor’s  innocent curiosity had Nesta thinking, “How did Elain react when you showed her the picture?”  

The oldest Archeron furrowed her eyebrows together, deep in thought as she took a sip from her wine; “When I had shown Elain the picture, she didn’t precisely have the reaction I thought she would have.”  

“Which one did she have?” questioned Cassian again, remembering the oldest Archeron of his existence, so it seemed. As we were all drowned out of the conversation that erupted between the two sisters.  

“I don’t really know. She mumbled something about a boy she had met that day. Or rather something about soft hands that held her carefully. I am not fully aware what she meant with that.”  

Feyre only sighed at that. Rubbing her eyes tiredly only mumbling her next words “She sometimes has this.” “What, Feyre, darling?”  

Rhysand’s eyes searched the one of his Fiancé with a worried look for answers. Those tired blue eyes of hers lightening up the moment they locked on our brother. Cassian and Mor exchanged some knowing looks, as if they knew about something the two of them didn’t.  

Though there wasn’t really anything the two could know about at this moment. Their smirks fading as soon as Feyre’s heavy voice rang in our ears. It sounded so different than the voice we heard all evening, a cloak of sadness seeming to cover her. “Elain sometimes has these weird moments in which she sees …. things.” tried Feyre to explain.  

Nesta only nodded at her while she continued.  All of our confused gazes locked on Feyre’s slumped form “She - I don’t know how it works- sometimes sees these cryptic things she blabbers on about.  Trying to explain to us what these things might be. But in all honesty, I don’t think these ‘Visions’ are good for her.”  

“How so?” I found myself asking. The two Archeron sisters looking at me as if they hadn’t even known I sat at the table, who's atmosphere seemed to shift faster than the weather in April. Both of their blue eyes rested on my stiff body as they assessed if I had a right to ask this question.  

My brain well aware of every breath my body took, but this traitorous heart of mine also wanted to hide those crippled hands of mine. Those screams, which escaped my tiny lungs so many years ago, ringing in my ears along with Nesta's cold words, though the coldness of them wasn’t directed to anyone at our table.  

“Her ex-fiancé had left her, because of these visions.” A dry chuckled echoed over the table to us. Feyre meeting the eyes of her sister as a devilish smirk spread on her lips. Spreading this smile like a wildfire on Nesta’s as well.  

A look of pride whelming up in her eyes while the rest of the table was just quiet. Hanging onto every word they exchanged.  

“You mean he cheated on her, because of these visions. Elain was the one that broke off the engagement.”  

Nesta took in a sharp breath “Yeah, after she showed up in the middle of the night at my threshold. Half drunken!”  

Her younger sisters' eyebrows shoot into her hair line “She was what?!”  

“Half- drunken.” emphasized Nesta again.  “If she was only half-drunken, she clearly must have done something wrong.” mumbled Amren into her fourth wine glass. Earning herself a glare from the entire table.  

“Why have you never told me this?! I mean - I know how the rest of the story went, so this isn’t really the most shocking part, but still! I have a right to know when my older sister is drunk!”  

“I don’t think neither Elain or I know of the all the times you have been drunk.” was all her older sister deadpanned.  

Something wild and burning rising in Nesta’s steeled eyes as Cassian dragged the attention away from Feyre, carefully asking them “How exactly did this fateful night go?”  

The two sisters exchanged a short look with each other. Making all of us realize at this point, that if anyone was to harm their sister, they would break hell lose. Though it sounded as if Elain was capable of that all alone.  

The story of her broken off engagement truly something no one of us would hear another time.  

“Elain’s ex-fiancé, Graysen -” spat Nesta. The name alone wanting to make her throw up. “he had sent her into psychiatry for about two months. Neither Feyre or I had heard anything from her in those months. I guess it is unnecessary at this point to say that we were worried sick about her.”  

“Why was she there anyway? I mean like it sounded there was no higher force, like a judge, that sent her there.” stated Mor. Cass, Rhys and even Amren’s head nodding in agreement at the train of thoughts she took. Feyre’s hollow voice would have been answer enough for us, but she went a little bit into detail.  

“Elain truly loved Graysen and believed he was her one and only, so when he told her to check herself in for a psychiatry – she didn’t object at all.” “But doesn’t - ““It was a long-term ‘project’, yes.” interrupted Nesta the tiny woman, that looked mortified.  

Never in my life had I seen her look like that. Looking with wide silver eyes and in shock at the oldest Archeron - the red wine in her small hands long forgotten, while she hung on every word of hers.  

Smirking lips revealing to us all something we weren’t able to connect to the sweet little angle that was portrayed on the wallpaper.  

Those delighted warm eyes of hers drowning in tears how Nesta described it to us.  

“I still can’t tell if she was hurt or just furious – both I would guess- as I sat her in my car. She hadn’t spoken a word to me on the drive, only the next morning did she reveal where she had been and why she hadn’t reached out to one of us, she just got sent back home from psychiatry. Wanting to surprise her fiancé, who she thought would be incredibly happy about her return. She didn’t announce herself as she stepped into their apartment – the sounds of moans and grunts greeting her. She told me the first place she went to was a bar, not entirely sure if I, or Feyre ever wanted to see her again.”  

Nesta took a final deep breath, “I wasn’t up there with her when she confronted. I just drove her there and honestly – I regret that I wasn’t with her.”  

Mor paled as well as Cassian and I. Wild pictures ran through our minds that were clearly wrong. The pictures of an abused woman filling my mind, while she screamed for help. The other woman looking pleased down on her whenever her lover hit her.  

A shiver ran down my spine, no one deserved that.  

No one deserved to be cheated on and yet Elain was one of those who had rented bad luck in love for herself, though I don’t assume a cheater was what she wished would be her one and only.  

But while we were all stuck to the innocent picture laying on the table, we all underestimated her as Nesta went further into the description of the evening, the proud smile she wore spreading onto my very own lips as I listened into her tale with delight.  

“I was just able to see a bit. I had hoped she would throw his belongings out of the window. Though I already assumed Elain would hold him a speech about trust and loyalty that no one could understand as it was drowned out by her tears – she amazed me that night. There were no clothes thrown out of the window. She had cradled them in her arms and piled them on the grass in front of their apartment complex.  The pile of clothes and mother knows what growing and growing. As she walked out the last time of the door– she had a canister of gas with her.  

“Drowning everything in the smelly liquid as she threw a match on the whole pile. Watching from a faraway distance how his things got burned, like the future she imagined with him.”  

Feyre and Nesta had, both, quite pleased looks on their faces as they remembered the doing of their sister. Amren looked like the devil herself as she took sip for sip from her goblet, Morrigan smirked along with her.  

Rhysand was left speechless, something he rarely was, and Cass only whistled. Colour having drained from his face as Feyre picked up on the story again. “This isn’t even the best part yet.”  

“It’s not?” questioned Amren and Mor in one devilish voice.  

She only nodded. “After Elain had entered the apartment, she took Greysen’s hurriedly stripped off clothes and threw them at onto his sorry ass once she found him. Though she threw these weird leather shoes of his separately – letting them strike where she wanted them.”  

Nesta had a pride filled look on her face as she took a carful sip from her wine. Those burning eyes of hers seeing things no one of us really wanted to think about.  

“Feyre, darling, at what exactly did she throw them?” asked Rhys carefully. Sweat having started to coat him during their tale, probably growing well aware of the fact that if he ever was to hurt just one sister of the three – he was sure to lose some of his most precious belongings

I guess each of us had their own guess of where she threw his shoes, most of us tending to his groin, but Feyre and Nesta revealed something so entirely different, with such smugness that no one could surpass at least a little chuckle.  

“His face. The next time we saw him he had a blue eye and a broken nose.”  

It was well deserved I told myself as my mind strayed back out of the window. A proud smile displayed on my lips as I did so.  

I knew I shouldn’t have listened so carefully, shouldn’t have wanted to know of what the absent middle Archeron had done. It was also wrong to have even just a little smile on my lips while I listened.  

If she would have been here, it might have looked for her as if we were laughing about her while it was in truth the pain that was caused to this ‘Graysen’, that had us all smiling like devils.  

Each one of us already well aware of a crippled kind of love that could hurt us, wishing the ones who caused it worse than hell.  

A past lover of Rhysand having abused him while Morrigan forced herself to love men – not able to meet the blaming looks of her family. Letting herself wither each time a bit more when she brought a man home to her family.  

And while these two suffered from toxic lovers, the rest of us suffered differently.  

Amren having never experienced any kind of love before Varian as she was left on the streets – homeless and a crying infant in the middle of a park. Her mother, or perhaps both her parents, deciding for her to never know of their love. A nun had taken shelter on her, letting her stay as long as she wished. And even though this nun gave Amren everything she could – a home, food, warmth and a bit of love it was never what she would have gotten from her parents.  

Deep down she knew that, her heart having suffered for a long time under this knowledge.  

And while she had too less love, Cassian’s mother had gotten too much of it. Her lover having loved her with everything he had. This twisted mind of his wanting to lock the woman he loved, with his whole being, away from the world once he discovered she was pregnant.  

She had run away while she was in labour with Cass, not wanting this locked away life for him.  

No one of us could think of the pain she must have had as she gave birth to him in a park. Muffling her own screams from the strangers that walked past her hide-out. Rhysand’s mother had been one of them, she had heard those muffled screams and went to look for the one in pain.  

I don’t really know how Rhys mother must have felt like as she saw the woman sitting with wide spread legs on the grass. The soft leaves of it painted red as she tried to muffle her own screams with biting into her arm.  

Everything that followed on this incident was a blur, told me my mother ones. She said Cassian was thrusted into Cassandra’s arms. His mother had instructed her to go home and take him with her.  

Rhys mother had argumented long with her to take her with them, but the woman tried to push her away. Told her if she didn’t move now, no one would be safe and everything would turn worse.  

It was a heart-breaking story the newspapers soaked up, like a sponge water. They wanted to interview Rhys mother of what had happened, but she did not let a word slip. Though the salt was still pressed into this mental wound of hers. Her heart well aware of the fact that she couldn’t keep the last promise she made to the woman.  

Knowing well that she couldn’t keep it. She had promised Cassian’s mother to come back, that she would have tomorrow and the rest of her life to live. But she wasn’t even able to reach tomorrow, her lover having found her in the same night.  

Strangling her to death once he saw her laying there.  

Up till this day I can’t tell how Cassian managed to smile again after he found out about her at the age of fourteen. The experiences I had with my own father leaving a bitter taste in my mouth whenever I thought about it.

It could have been my mother, I always thought. My mother that could have been killed as soon as someone found out that she was pregnant and I thanked the gods that it was only a life full of pain for a six-year-old me. That she seemed to be spared from it. So, I thought at least.

She was beaten down, just like me, whenever she was allowed to enter the basement.  

But she – we- were able to get away from this pain, not without some scars though. Most were in our minds, while my hands screamed of those my half-brothers had left on me. Those crippled, numb hands haunting me for the rest of my life.  

Luckily Elain was able to get away from this horrible life, I thought to myself. Looking out and realizing just how late it had turned, I wanted to look to my companions.  But they were gone.  

A note of Amrens handwriting everything that remained of them,  

‘You looked so deep in thought that I guess it is time for you to use some quietness to sort yourself out again. Feyre and Rhys already paid for us, if you plan on sitting a bit longer you get to pay your drinks alone.’  

I smiled at the little note, perhaps it really was time to get myself sorted out again.  

After all, with the woman from today and Elain Archeron on my mind - combined with her story it was perhaps better to talk to my mother again. She always seemed to have a good advice for me, though I don’t really want to imagine her laughter when I am going to explain my troubles to her.  Those so called ‘Lady troubles’ like she loved to call it haunting me down.  

A groan escaped me as I looked out of the window again, seeing just for a brief moment a coated figure that ran across the street. Rounding the corner and soon entering Rita’s. I had noticed how a waiter moved to the lady that had entered and wanted to already take her coat off, but she declined.  

The young waiter leading her with a confused look to my table.  

“Thank you.” was all she whispered to the waiter as she ordered her food in the same breath, taking up a seat next to me once he was gone. My eyes strayed over her form as she sat all wet at the table, her face and entire body covered under a beige trench coat, the only thing I could make out of her was her large stomach – that seemed to wiggle?

“Excuse me?” I turned her attention to me; this petite form of hers growing stiff as she turned to me. A nervous chuckle, which I already heard once today, boring itself into my mind again while she pushed back her hood.  

Those soft rosy lips smiling up at me once again. My traitorous heart starting to speed up by the mere look of her.  

“Elain Archeron.” she exclaimed with an extended hand, the other one holding onto the bundle on her stomach she attempted to hide. “Azriel Dandelion.” was all I could answer with a slight rise of colour.  

Those warm eyes of hers scanning my entire being for a moment before a small screeching had captured her attention.  

A warm but scolding look was displayed on her face while she looked at the little snoot that poked out from her hide out. The wet tongue of the dog moving to lick Elain’s nose once she was close enough.  

It was a cute scenario I witnessed with a bursting heart. After all, not all dog owners went that far as to disguise their puppy as a pregnancy only to not have her wait in the rain. “When are you due?” I found myself asking. Leaning smugly on my hand while she tried to shush Cookie.  

I had been scolding me the entire day for the stupid question I had asked her about the puppy, that made her owner crash into me ‘Why did you name her Cookie?’  But she didn’t seem to mind it. Back then as well as now, she only smiled as if it had been stitched into her very lips.  

Her heart not caring at all of what others thought of her.

“Well, Azriel, how long are the others gone already?” Gods! I loved how my name rolled of her tongue. This wildly beating heart inside my chest seeming to grow a tail too, as it kept wagging pleadingly at her to say my name.  

‘This is embarrassing!’ I thought with a cough. “To be honest, I have no clue.”  

It was a heart-breaking sad smile that settled on her lips as she eyed her puppy “Like I know my timing, they are probably only gone since the last ten minutes.” “Why would you say you have a bad timing?”  

She seemed torn between something as she had a turmoil looking at me, those sceptic eyes again resting on me. Just like they did four hours ago, though this time she didn’t assess if I was hurt – due to her sudden crash into my chest.  

And heart.  

But then again, she didn’t just suddenly crash into my heart. Elain was there when I had discovered my freedom. The mere memory of her accompanying me up into adulthood. These oft giggles having never left my ears as they wound deeper and deeper into my heart each time, I thought about her.  

Maybe it was the cosy feeling I always had when I remembered her freckles, those sleepy eyes as she was dragged away by the Golden Retriever, that smiled so proudly into the camera with her all those years ago.  

“Well, I once had a bad timing for when I got back home.”  

“That had nothing to do with your bad timing.” was all I could mumble, while her eyes still held mine captured. Her caramel ones locking with my hazel ones for the brief moment of seconds, before she declared a triumphing “Aha! I knew it!”  

“What exactly?”  

“Feyre and Nesta told you about my engagement.” Somehow, I felt ashamed as I nodded. I knew she would find out sooner or later anyway. But having her call me out that easily made me feel like the clumsiest kid that had been caught red handed in the cookie jar. A groan escaping me at the play of words in my mind, while she only giggled.  

Cookies brownish snoot peeking up ever the slightest.  

“Don’t worry about it. Nesta and Feyre, both, like to brag about my burst out.” I lifted a curious brow at that but she only continued to smile. Cookie barking happily at her once she saw this honest smile of her cheery owner.  

“Shhh, you already had a good time of barking at the vet!” tried Elain to shush her little pup as the attention of the few guests was turned onto her. A grin breaking lose on my face while I could only eye her with fascination.  

Love struck, like my mother would have said.

But I would care later about this. “How about we get your food as take out and eat at my place. Cookie doesn't need to hide there.” I simply put as reason a baffled look crossing her features.  

This somehow confused look of hers worrying me to death.  “That is if you want to!”  

“ I would verry much like that.”  

* * * “Azriel Dandelion! Could you give me one hell of a good explanation as to why I am here?!” yelled Feyre across the hospital floor as she dragged Cookie on a short leash behind her. The puppy, she had gifted her older sister over a year ago, having grown well over the months she was away with Rhysand. Traveling all across the court.  

Cookies tail started to wag harder once she saw my worried form standing in the middle of a pink, sterilized hallway – right before a delivery room from which I heard Elian's screams.  

Feyre’s snow coated body growing as pale as the flakes captured on her hood as she identified her sisters screams of pain. Letting the leash of Cookie fall down to the floor while she bolted for the door.  

But my bulky frame locked it. Cookie’s large form to my side, that pleaded for attention, also preventing her from opening up that door. A look of confused rage crossing those blue eyes of hers.  

“Azriel! My sister is in mother fucking pain! Let me in there!” “You think I am deaf? I hear her screams just as well as you do! And believe when I tell you these nurses aren’t patient!”  

“What?” Feyre looked baffled up at me. A storm of questions, just as heavy as the snowstorm outside, displayed in her eyes.  “I already was inside there, but the nurse shooed me out once I was about to have a panic attack – claiming I would make El more nervous than anyone else.” was all I could scoff before I bent down to scrap Cookie behind her yellowish fluffy ear.

Elain was right, when she told me of the therapeutical use – it really eased my nerves as I felt bits of the soft fur of her under this crippled flesh of mine.  

Seeming to sense my thoughts, she gently nudged her snoot into my palm. Trying to calm me on her own way down, while she sat calmly on the floor. Feyre taking up a seat next to the door as we waited outside.  

A frustrated huff leaving her exhausted body. Her teary eyes not looking at anything in particular “Can you give me at least an explanation as to why Cassian had been waiting for me in Elain’s apartment, shoved Cookie’s leash at me and told me I should go to the second floor of the hospital and look for you?”

It was readable as clear as day that Feyre was worried. Though she didn’t seem to have read the signs while she stormed up to me. “Have you checked the station you are on?”  

Like Cookie woken up when she heard the doorbell, did Feyre hunt down for a sign. Just did she not seem to be able to read all those signs around the floor through her tear-stained vision. Dreading mother knows what while she ran around the station.  

“Feyre! Look!” I simply pointed out to her the sign that hung opposite of me. Written in big fat cursive letters was: “Delivery room …" It was all she mumbled as she took up the space next to me. Some nurses eying us with shacking heads while they did their work. Clearly noticing the dog that lay to our feet, but not caring as long as she didn’t run wild.  

Though I think the last thing Feyre had on her mind now were the nurses that hurried around like bees. The usual strong voice, with which she spoke, having become breathless.  Her plate wide eyes looking up at me with a look, I couldn’t place my finger on. Settling down in her Irises, once she was fully aware that she had read my silent answers well.

“How did that happen?”  

“Feyre, I think you are old enough to know of how babies are made.”  

Well, that hit on the shoulder was a deserved one. “Now is not the time to be cocky Azriel! My sister is in labour!” “Well, if it helps – my fiancé is in labour.”  

All colour drained from her as she hit me again on my shoulder, a bruise already forming there “I am gone for god fucking ten months and you end up sleeping with my sister and proposing to her! What else is there to know? Did Cassian and Nesta start dating too?!”  

“Well, that is clearly not my story to tell.” The look she gave me made me feel glad that we were in a hospital. A doctor would always be close by, a nurse would be enough too to make a bleeding stop.    

But a bark had captured our attention as the rest of the hospital turned quiet and made us save the rest of our argument for later. Elain's screams having long ebbed down while Feyre and I were shouting at each other, right in front of her delivery room. The small wailing of a new life was all we heard.  

I think if we all would have had tails like Cookie, we probably would have cleaned up the floor better than any mop could have. Our nerves strained to the point of snapping while we waited for the door to open up. One of the doctors almost run down by the three of us, as we hurried into the room.  

Tears blurring my vision as I saw my wife to be, cooing softly at our daughter cradled in her arms. This soft bundle looking so fragile in her arms as Feyre already stopped at the door. A long stream of tears escaping her eyes while Cookie and I moved to Elain’s side.  

Eying the little girl carefully as I stretched out a hand to caress her tiny chubby cheek. The bubbly laugh on my lips something I had never before from myself. “She looks like you.”  

Completely knowing where I was going with this, she carefully nudged my side. Love and a playful fondness laying in this silly gesture “You were cubby as a baby too.”  

“Yet you still were the cuter one.” I found myself praising the woman I loved. Kissing her sweaty temple while a giggle erupted from her, making my already full heart bursting for her even more.  

I think there would never be enough words in any dictionary, that could describe this whirling storm of feelings inside my chest. My heart already bursting when I thought of the future, the future I so long had hoped for but never thought of as happening to me.  

Never have I had faith in myself when it came to love, never had I been thinking that I would one day hold a child in my arms. My – our child - as Elain carefully lay her into my bulky arms resting a bit before Feyre bombarded her with questions.  

Elain answered every question of her sister with a kind smile as the night aged into the morning. The heavy clouds of the snowstorm making it impossible to see the rising sun. But there was no reason for the sun to rise – not anymore.  

It was a selfish thought – I knew – but there was no reason for a third ball of sunshine to rise. While I had the two brightest ones cradled in in my arms already.  

My loves blinding smile everything I needed to live for the rest of my life happily. Pampering her and our little one with kisses as everything made perfect sense.  

Those ‘Visions’ that kept her awake many nights, made her live through hundreds of nightmares and her sobbing into the mornings – they connected her to me. Showed her pieces of my past, our combined past as she spoke of those soft bandaged hands, making us both remember of the day we first met.  

Though I do believe it was hard for to remember, since she was only one, but our hearts seemed to have long called for each other. Knowing from the very start that this future would be awaiting us with open arms.  

Our family. Perfect as it was – two aunts and two dorky uncles, with two bussy bodies of a godmother waiting for us. Cookie, with her brown dots on her fur just as unique as our daughter.  

Her eyes - one soft and brown like those of her mother, while the other one was hazel, like mine.  

Happiness brimming in both of them when she first showed us the world. Our world that would await us once we got back home. Our hearts already captured by her sweet giggles, that had both of us left in tears.  

My eternal love and gratefulness for Elain, never enough to show her how much I thanked her. How much I wanted to know her that she was the one and only one that had captured my heart.  

Expect for the little one cradled in our arms, but she seemed to already wrap our whole little world around her chubby finger. Cookies soft snoot nuzzling into her soft skin as she smelled her. Acknowledging our little girl already as part of her family.

Hopefully Cookie would not have the same habit as Elain’s dog so many years ago had – dragging her away by her collar as she hurried through the house with a tired Elain captured in her mouth.  

Though I guess I would not mind it. Cookie already seemed to have a problem with Feyre approaching us – which had her laughing and moving swiftly out of the door. Most likely calling Rhysand on the news.  

Declaring with a goofy grin that they became an uncle and an aunt – their family having just spread a bit wider.  As all of us sat around the Christmas tree the next week, our little Soleil finally among us, while we were all gathered in our little, perfect apartment.  

Her bussy bodies of a family gushing and aweing at the pregnancy pictures of her mother, that beamed through each of them like the sun herself.  

A proud smile never leaving her soft lips – which I found myself chasing more than often in the past week. Not able to control this sheer force of love that seemed to make me throw myself at my beloved, whenever I saw her.  

The melodyic giggle of her, accompaying me through everything life threy our way.

______________________________________________________________

So I hope you liked this one: I hope you don’t mind the use of name in this one😘 

When I wrote this I at first thought to myself ‘Shit! How do you write about a dog person?’ well it wasn’t that difficult anymore once I saw those cute little puppys. 

I am now officially cheating on my cats since the last ten days😅 

Anyway, here is your hint for tomorrow: It’s turning classy.

#acotar secret snowflake #elriel #elain archeron #soft az #feysand #mentions of nassian #elain x azriel child #mention of abuse #the inner circle #amren and az friendship #elain x azriel

[pagingevilspawn]

Patiently waiting for the next lyialg update ! I’m obsessed so yeah thank u for that !!

Loving You Is A Losing Game- chapter six

i really need to get back to writing this fic, but my inspiration  atm at zero. (i blame proofs, they’ve corrupted all my brain cells)

are we surprised, another filler! what? but, did i write... conversation? wowzies. its just a day full of surprises ain’t it? okay, hope you guys like it! read on ao3 here!

~*~

"i've spent all of the love i've saved. we were always a losing game."

~*~

she probably should've left after their rendezvous in the comforters, but she didn't. instead, she lay on the wide open bed sprawled out over the covers, dressed and ready for the day as she asks him random questions just to annoy him, which she knows he secretly enjoys. (the tiny smiles he would let sneak past his lips didn't go unnoticed by her. he was quite horrible at trying to convince her that he didn't enjoy it.)

"why can't chickens fly?" she asks thoughtfully, pursing her lips, making him stop in his tracks as he puts his toiletries in his suitcase. that was definitely the weirdest question she had asked yet. and trust him, she'd asked a lot of them.

"umm, because they're too fat? i don't know." he answers with a shrug of his shoulders. he didn't know why the hell chickens didn't fly. all he knew was that their wings were useless.

jo looks unamused with his answer as a frown begins to form in her face. "but why? the universe gave them wings, so why not the opportunity to actually use them?"

alex thinks over the answer for a second, shrugging his shoulder as he puts more things in his bag. "dude, i don't know. you're the one in med school. go ask a teacher. or google. google has the answer to everything."

she furrows her eyebrows, reaching behind her to grab a pillow, which she successfully tosses and it hits his face. she lets out a loud laugh as the pillow makes a thump! sound as it hits the floor, alex sending her a glare she had gotten to know all too well these past few days. "you act like i'm in high school." she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning as she narrows her eyes at him.

"i would hope you're not. otherwise i'd get arrested." he says gruffly, finding a loner sock in the bathroom and tossing it into his suitcase aimlessly, nearly missing the destination point as it hangs over the side of it loosely.

"asshole. i'm twenty-three." she bites back.  

"exactly." he says. "you're a fetus. you're a young, tiny, innocent fetus." he pauses for a second, "well, maybe not exactly the innocent part." he grins coyly, earning another pillow to the face.

she scowls at him playfully, a small smile gracing her lips. "shut up. and you do realize you're not much older than me right?" she flops back against the pillows, liking the poof! sound it made whenever she hit the confronter beneath her. it was settling, so much so that she did it again and again. sitting up and them flopping down. sit up, flop down. sit up, flop down. to say it annoyed him would be an understatement.

for someone who wasn't a high school student she sure as hell acted like one sometimes. 

most of the time.

all the damn time.

"still. you are in school. ask a teacher, they probably know. or ask google, like i said. they seem to have the answer to everything."

jo blatantly ignores his answer, lost in her own world as she begins to ramble on, a trait he found out she did often. on most people he would find it annoying, but for some reason it suited her. "but it's so cruel." she pouts, narrowing her eyes and glaring at the blank TV screen. "i mean, they have all these bird friends and they see them fly in the sky, and all they wanna do is fly too but they can't because the universe gave them crappy wings that can't hold them up. it's crappy. the situation's crappy. chicken's deserve better." she says in one breath, sinking into the pillows behind her once she was done.

he looks at her for second before bursting into loud laughter. she seemed to have that effect on him, making him laugh at the most unconventional of times. "you think chickens deserve better?" he asks incredulously after he calms down from his laughing fit, a wide grin on his face as he looks at her.

jo blushes and looks away, feeling the heat rise from her cleavage to her face. she truly didn't know where the hell that rant came. she purses her lips and crosses her arms over her chest. "y-yes." she stutters out, trying not to launch into another long monologue. she could go on for days about how the poor, innocent, annoying cluckers got delt crappy cards.  

"oh, i get it." he says, suddenly laying down on the empty spot next to her. "the chicken is you, and the wings are mothers. you're wondering why all the other people -birds- have wings -mothers- but you don't."

she stares at him, mouth agape. was that what she was thinking? she'd never put that together before. was she doing it without even realizing it? "n-no." she stutters out lamely. that would be crazy right? comparing a bird and wings to herself. that's just.. sad. not to mention pathetic. who the hell compares themselves to flightless birds? pathetic people, that's who. she wasn't a chicken, she was a... a fucking unicorn!

"please. i'm the king of euphemisms." he smirks, tossing a shirt into his suitcase as he stands form his position. he looks up to meet her eyes, which were wide. "you didn't know." he states, jo nodding in response.

he shrugs nonchalantly, "well, congrats on knowing it earlier than me. i didn't figure out the weird shit i said was just me reflecting on myself until last year." he gives a half hearted attempt at a grin. it was true. it wasn't until a patient pointing it out actually (who he thought was kind of crazy), so he supposed he couldn't give himself much credit.  

jo pinches her eyebrows together, biting her bottom lip in concentration. "i just compared myself to a chicken." she says abruptly, making him let out a snort.

"that you did."

she suddenly stands up from her spot on the bed, hands flying around like a mad woman. "who the fuck compares themselves to a chicken!" she shrieks, sounding so serious alex was trying not to burst into a laugh right then and there.

"you." he deadpans, unable to stop the wide smirk that spread across his sharp features. she was too easy to mess with sometimes.  

she throws him a sharp glare, taking off her flat from her foot and hitting him right in the chest, picking it up and slipping it back on after. he winces as he rubs the spot, making sure no shoe prints got marked on him. he wouldn't know how the hell he would explain that to robbins. i mean, 'oh no, i'm fine, just got trampled by a single shoe' was a bit of a hard thing to believe.

"no, but... that's just weird." she says, crossing her arms over her chest once more as she looks out the window, taking notice of the light bits of snow falling from the sky. she didn't know why she expected otherwise. it was november after all. she'd practically grown up in boston, she knew the reasons like the back of her hand.

he nods. "it is."

jo watches as the snow falls. it was so pure. she used to consider herself pure. well, not really. she lived in her car and had gotten kicked out of so many foster homes she lost count. but she did always think she still had that shred of innocence left in her, the girl who looked for the good in everything, despite her normally pessimistic thoughts. now, now that little bit of purity was shattered.

she cheated on her husband.

and the worst part? she enjoyed it. not the fact that she was cheating, god no. the guilt was all consuming, a torturous monster that she truly just wanted to stab to death with a sword as she watched it bleed out. no, she felt guilty at the fact that she couldn't get enough of the sex.

no man had ever made her feel the way alex karev had in the past three days. never in her life. she'd had random hookups that she met at bars who were quite good, and not to mention her husband, who she would used to compare to god in bed. but now... now she wasn't so sure.

it was like he knew her. it was like... he knew exactly what to do to push her over the edge, something she had never experienced before. god, she felt so dirty. she wanted to just hop in the shower and scrub every reminder of alex off her, but at the same time she just wanted to do him in the shower.

shaking away her thoughts, she looks back at him, noting how he also seemed to be lost in his mind as well, staring at the snow.

he notices her eyes on him, so he just lets his mouth tumble out the words flying through his brain. he didn't feel the need to hold back around jo, something he didn't know he was missing until she came into the picture.

"it doesn't snow very often in seattle." he says, watching as the white flakes trickle down to the sidewalk, some sticking to the window as they let the wind move them in whatever direction it pleases.

"we get a lot of rain, but not a lot of snow. to be honest, it snowed more in iowa." she nods at his words. she'd known snow all her life. she grew up on the east coast and never left. she liked the white fluffiness that would make tiny piles outside her bay window in the study, something she had since she moved in with paul.

she grimaces slightly, "do you ever get annoyed with the rain?" she asks softly.

alex nods furiously, a silent chuckle escaping his lips. "all the damn time." he whispers, taking a seat on one of the chairs the room housed.

"then why'd you move there?" she asks curiously. surely he knew how much it rained in seattle. practically babies did.  

"i got accepted to seattle grace. no way in hell would i give up a chance to train at one of the best hospital's in the world because of the weather."

she nods, settling into a comfortable silence with him as they focus on the snow. that was something they both enjoyed about each other. there was no pressure to fill the noise. they could sit in silence and be okay with it.

the snow falling was like them, having to leave this hotel room. here, they were able to attack each other's lips with all they had in them, no matter how wrong it was. the snow hitting the ground was like them needing to leave the four walls. it was them having to face and come to terms with their actions.

so for the moment they sat silently, just trying to savor the last few moments before their life would probably turn to shit.

they weren't telling anybody, god no. but the overhanging cloud of guilt and shame above their head's already made it a little bit harder to carry on.

some say the guilt is the ultimate punishment, worse than death or anything else.

and at that moment they couldn't agree more.

____

they sit for a while longer, just watching the city of boston get covered in white. it was settling, calming in a way they didn't know they needed.

he would miss talking to her. which was a stupid thing to say. a really stupid thing to say actually. but it was the truth. he had never found himself opening up to someone so easily. for once in his life he wasn't given eyes of pity when someone hears his sob story he called his childhood, instead she just understood. she knew what it was like to grow up with basically nothing and make themselves into something, trying to be better than their parents, even though she never knew her's.

it was refreshing, talking to someone without having to worry abut being judged or labeled as something he used to be. he wasn't a foster kid anymore, nor a little boy who had to take care of his younger siblings from such a young age. he wasn't the twelve year old boy who had to practically raise his little sister. to her, he was just alex. the guy who she cheated on her husband with (he wasn't proud of that part), the guy she talked until three in the morning with. the guy she ate a shit loud of pizza with. he was just a normal guy with a crappy past.

she would miss talking to him too. with alex, talking was so natural. she didn't need to think, she didn't feel the pressure to say the right thing in hopes that she would be seen as more than what she had been told she was all her life.

but she would miss him holding her.

a lot.

when they laid in bed, he would wrap his arms around her and pull her in close. she swore, she had never felt more safe than she did while nestled in his chest as his fingers wove through her hair. it was such an intimate embrace, and they knew they shouldn't be doing it, but hell, they'd crossed the line that first night. why not be a bit more reckless? the only people feeling the pain would be them.  and if a few hours of them taking away each other's pain would mean that there was more added on later, then why the hell not?  

they didn't want to say goodbye. not just because they were screwing each other, but because they had made a friend in one another.

so with that thought, without looking away from the window alex sticks out his palm to the side, not far away from jo, "hand me your phone."

she quirks a quizzical brow at him, "what?" she asks, turning to face towards him from where she was sitting on the miniature table. it was a small little thing, but she petite herself, so the table acted like a stool.  

he simply only raises his eyebrows and she gets what he means. she cracks a small smile, happy that he didn't want their newfound friendship to come to an end either. she learned over the years that losing a relationship was okay, it would take time to heal, but you got over it. a friendship was something you never ultimately forgot about. he and alex weren't by any means in a relationship, but it was safe to say they had become really good friends.  

she walks over to the bedside table, grabbing her phone and unlocking it, a new pang of guilt shooting through her at the sight of her lock screen. it was of her and paul a few months ago, a couple weeks before he proposed. they looked really happy. she was smiling wide and he was pressing a kiss to the side of her cheek. she shakes off the feelings, opening the contact app for him to fill out with his information.

"put your name down as alexandra." she says adamantly, alex glancing up with a look of displeasure.

"what?" last time he checked his full name was alexander, not a chick's name.

"he might get suspicious." she shrugs her shoulders, taking his phone from his hand and filling out the little lines of information.

he rolls his eyes, he thought it was a bit excessive, but he did kinda of get where she was coming from. just alex could be a boy or a girl. "fine, then you have to be joseph." he answers, smirking triumphantly.

she scowls, begrudgingly typing out joseph onto the screen. "you better not fucking call me that asshole." she mutters, earning a light laugh. nobody ever really called him stuff like 'asshole' or 'dickhead' without using it as an insult. it was actually pretty funny when it wasn't being used condescendingly, he learned.  

"as long as you don't call me alexandra we have a deal." he shakes his head. "i already know an alexandra. dated one, but we call her lexie." he mumbles, more to himself than to jo. a small laugh is heard in the room after his words, alex cracking a small, barely there smile. they eventually stand up, knowing that now was the time. if they delayed it any longer than he would miss his flight, and that was one thing he couldn't do, because that would mead to questions from robbins, which would lead to questions from izzie, which would lead to the truth coming out. long story short, he couldn't miss his flight.  

alex and jo stand in front of each other, staring into each other's eyes.

should she kiss him? as a goodbye?

as if he hears her thoughts he's stepping closer to her, raising one hand to her cheek, his eyes looking a bit conflicted as he stares at her. he takes it as a sign that she doesn't pull away and begins to lean in, making her shiver all over as she feels his breath fan her face. their heart rates pick up simultaneously in their chests, a feeling that hadn't faded over the past three days.

after what seems like hours their lips finally connect, taking in their taste for the last time. the fire burns in their stomach's, but this time they put it aside. if they took it any further, they knew that they would end up in the throes of passion once again.

they pull away at the same time, him reaching down to grab the handle of his suitcase as he walks out of the door with her, who only has her small clutch in her hand. he shuts the door behind them, staring at her once more.

"goodbye jo." he says, beginning to turn away.

"goodbye alex."

#alex karev #jo wilson #jolex #jo karev #greys #greys anatomy #greys abc #jolex fic #jolex fanfic #jolex fanfiction #jolex au #alternate universe #jo x alex #alex x jo #loving you is a losing game #affiar #brooke stadler #greys anatomy fanfic #greys anatomy fanfiction #jolex is endgame #camilla luddington #justin chambers #screw 16x16 #payton writes

[ray-ray-writings]

700 Friend Behind the Scene Special!

Hello there! So a little bit of back story, everything I write is written in a google doc because it automatically saves everything and I can think clearer when I’m typing in a document. Sometimes when I’m writing, I’ll get tired or get stuck or write something I don’t like. So I’ll make a note to myself of what I was writing so I can come back to it later, or write out the basic idea of what I want to happen so I can visualize it in words better, or hit enter a few times and re-write somethings. So in celebration of me hitting 700 friends I have gathered a few of those things so that I can share with you a little bit of my thought process, but also so you might have a laugh or may see where some of your favorite stories almost went. I don’t know if any of you will actually like this or actually care, but I thought that it was something cool lol. So here you go! I hope you enjoy!!!

Notes to Self/Prompts to Myself

A Dedicated and Domesticated Pig: *Note to future self so I know what I was going for. He’s making breakfast with your child on your hip. I’m thinking a daughter named something with Phil’s name maybe or maybe just a T name. Then you two are leaving for a festival in L’Manberg where Philza interacts with your daughter. And the night ends with you three cuddled up together and you’re reminiscing on how he asked you out and then it all comes full circle somehow using the words dedicated because we’re that kind of simp*

Gift of Friendship: Techno- “I made friendship bracelets”. “I don’t wear jewelry” “oh okay. I can take it back. You don’t have to wear it I’ll take it back-“ “no I will wear this until the day I die

Notes in general: There are a lot of *Insert title here* or *Insert really cool and creative title here*

There is also a lot of *Insert really nice summary here that sums everything up but is also clever*

Actually Pretty Funny: I knew I wanted to use “Tommy leave me alone” “Tommy told me you were in here crying” “That little snitch” but I didn’t know where so I made a note to use it. 

What Could Have Been or Almost Was

This has a few pieces of writing but is mostly about what I almost titled the pieces you know and love. 

Stolen Goods: I was about to retort but the sound of the nether portal activating cut my words off.

“We’re back!” I heard my younger brother call out. Techno and I walked together toward the portal to greet our brothers, but they weren’t alone. “Hey guys! Oh hey Dream,” I greeted the three, setting my chest down next to the wood I brought in earlier. “Hey Y/N/N? Get what we asked for?” Tommy asked, walking toward me. I simply stared at him and then looked at the pile of wood beside me. “No” I deadpanned. 

I then turned to my chest and quickly put my axe away. “Then what’s that?” Tommy questioned in confusion. I rolled my eyes, closed my chest and turned to him. “What you asked for dummy” “But you just said no?” “I was being sarcastic!” I exclaimed, moving toward him and slightly pushing him. “Well I didn’t know that!” Tommy exclaimed, pushing me back. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop pushing each other.” Wilbur demanded, “Just say thank you and move on Tommy.” Tommy huffed but said, “Thank you Y/N.” “You’re welcome Tommy.” 

“So is this how you four interact all the time?” Dream questioned, moving closer to the two of us. I let out a laugh and turned to the masked man, “Yeah. Pretty much. Sometimes we get along, but sometimes they get on my nerves.” I informed the man, while playfully glaring at 

A Hairy Situation: I had a lot of trouble coming up with a cool title for “a Hairy Situation” . It almost was like “Braided Together” or something like that but I was like, it’s about hair. It’s a situation. It’s a Hairy Situation.

Either Lean on Me or 3am conversation I don’t remember: Tommy did something. He did something bad” Tubbo admitted. I nodded to show the young man I was listening to, “Okay,” I prompted. “Tommy was messing around and he accidentally set George’s house on fire.” My eyes widened at Tubbo’s words. “His new house?” I asked in disbelief. Tubbo nodded, staring into his cup. “Dream is pissed.” He continued. “He gave me an ultimatum. He said that either we go to war or…” Tubbo’s words died on his tongue. “Or what?” I asked, attempting to gently prompt the boy. “What’s the other option Tubbo?” “Or exile Tommy.” His words hit me like a ton of bricks.

Missing You: This fic was almost titled “Radio silence” and was almost irl and was about the day that he got that prank pulled on him where everyone in his Discord was muted and not talking to him. And I almost wrote it so you’re in that call and you are participating in the prank and he just guilt trips you so hard that you unmute and are like “I’m so sorry!” 

Better Than a Dedicated Chicken was almost titled “A Funtime Festival”. But then I was like, ‘I hate that. Since it’s a sequel I want to keep a theme… Maybe something about dedication.’ and thus this was born. 

Faking Happy- I almost left it on the sad ending where Sam flies away using his trident and you collapse and sob by yourself in the rain. And then I added more to it because I was sad. 

Protect You was almost titled “Looking out for you” but I thought that might be too clunky and so I shorten it and stuff.

Wither or Not almost ended without the whole ‘techno goes to your house to comfort you’ scene at the end and almost ended in angst, but I was too sad to do that because I knew the next Techno piece I was writing was going to end in angst. 

Not Your Fault almost was going to be a different story completely than what it became. I thought a lot about how to do it but the ways I wanted to write it and the way the anon who requested it probably wanted it but I couldn’t make the prompts fit well in the way I wanted to write it. I thought about having you be on a bridge drinking alone because you had to exile your brothers and Schlatt approaches you there and you’re like “leave me alone. I hate you” and he’s like “no you don’t” and it’s a bit angsty, but then I couldn’t figure out how to fit “I had to see you again in that”. And then I thought about having him exile you and come and see you with a “I had to see you again” but then he would know where pogtopia is and we can’t have that. So then I thought maybe you’d visit him before he gets killed but then I couldn’t figure out how to fit the prompts that way either. So I finally settled on what it became. 

Chat’s a Snitch was almost titled “My New Boyfriend’s a Songwriter” and instead of being in established relationship, him seeing you sing his song would be how you two meet and he would fall in love with you and write you a song, but then that wouldn’t have really been what the request was and I didn’t want to deviate that much from the request and I think I was feeling a bit lazy that day so I wrote what it is. 

Defending Family was another one I had a hard time coming up with a cool and clever title for. At one point I considered titling it “i will physically fight you”

Crossed Lines was almost called “Hold tight” because I had this idea that maybe when Dream kidnapped you he put you somewhere high and at once point you dangle over the edge, about to fall and so they scream ‘hold tight’ and yeah. I decided not to though because I wasn’t sure how I would go about putting the reader there and getting them down. But once I wrote it due to the amount of times I said “that’s crossing a line” I decided to title it crossed lines. I think this piece is actually one of my least favorites because I’m not sure if I liked how it turned out but idk man. 

Totem Troubles was almost called “To Hell and Back” because in the request they wanted me to include hints of the story of Orpheus and Euridice but when I was unable to do that, I had to come up with a new title and I really had a hard time with that. 

The Next Step was almost called “Come Live with Me” because I loved the musical ‘Hadestown’. At first I wanted that particular imagine to have more Techno/reader scenes, but then I had a hard time figuring out how to bring up the things and then it felt too short. Then I was like “What if he just talks to Phil about it” and boom it was written. I’m still a huge musical nerd so I titled it “The Next Step” because in a Beetlejuice song two of the main characters are thinking of making a huge step in their relationship and that line is repeated over and over so I stole it…. :). Also for this one I had to literally just take a step back and write out a full ass summary because I was having really really bad writer’s block because I had no idea what I was doing. Unfortunately I don’t have that, I wish I did because it was really funny because it was a summary of the story but it was like “And so Philza’s like bro. Dude. Just tell them” and then Techno’s like “No dad. Stay out of my business” and Philza’s like “Bro. Look around at your house. You love them” 

Warming Up didn’t become the title of that piece until the very end. When I read requests I always give them a ‘working title’ that may or may no become the real title when they’re finished and ready to be posted. This one however had a title that was just a joke for myself. It was titled “The Weasel” because Y/N was weaseling her way into Techno’s home and then later his heart. 

Calling Philza Dad Drabble: When you greet him though, you always greet him with a hug usually calling out from the door way, “Dad! I’m home!” Very cheesy like. And he comes around the corner and you two hug. And then after you hug, you are like “I missed you!!!” to Phil. And Phil touches his heart and is like, “That’s so nice to hear. 

So you usually come over everyday. Everyday when you come over, you always shout out, “Dad! I’m home!” And he rushes out but there are days you don’t and so the next time you d

There was a time though that you had to go out of town for like a week and so you didn’t come over at all and both Techno and Philza found themselves missing you. So the day comes where you get home and you come barreling in the door. You can see Philza in the kitchen cooking something and he quickly turns to the door in shock. You simply grin at him and shout, “DAD! I’M HOME!!!” And he immediately rushed out of the kitchen and pulls you into a great big, warm hug which you instantly returned. “I missed you so so so much!” You announced as you squeeze him tightly. 

Warming up working description: Y/N is dying in the snow and Philza’s like “We gotta save them!” and Techno’s like “Why is that our problem?” but helps anyway and then falls in love with Y/N…. Ya know, cliches and shit

I hope you enjoyed reading this monstrosity! Would this be something you guys are interested in seeing? Like a behind the scenes version of my writing. Like I save things like this when I write them and when I have a good chuck I post them? Up to you guys, let me know!

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #what could have been #what almost was #ray rambles #700 friend special #behind the scene #behind the scenes #ray #ray ray writings #ray is so thankful for her amazing friends #that's you #you're their friend #<3

[studioweus]

This was an article from January 26th, 2016 by Netri! (네트리* I’m not entirely sure what the proper romanization is for their name but I’ll go with this spelling throughout this post). I tried to re-create the article to include the images and videos, but due to formatting limitations, the videos have just been put as links instead. (Also thank you @iyfrr​ for helping me proof-read!)

Text in square brackets are translator's notes. Asterisks will denote one of the members interrupting another member (LOL) The original article will be linked as the source. May contain minor translation inaccuracies.

[Link to ‘Butterfly, Finding Flower’ Teaser]

We've met with the visually strongest band M.A.S 0094.

A skillful, visual band composed of members born between the years 1994 and 2000.  

Aside from their flower-like appearances, they also possess unwavering talent, a trait about themselves that we'll be looking forward to in the future.

[CAPTION: Awkward....]

Please introduce the band~

It was wonderful how we chanced upon one another. At the beginning, the leader [who was Kanghyun at the time], the drummer, and the bassist were the ones who started the group with their respective instruments.

As we started, our bassist friend here brought forth a sub-vocal friend of his. We originally had four members at the time that we were promoting. Then we went to perform a session at a contest where we happened to stumble upon the eldest who claimed his victory. We then had a conversation with him ... and then recruited him? We brought him into the group. So it was around the middle of May in 2015 when we decided to bring him in? It started in May and has been this way since then.

Now that we think about it, it hasn’t been that long since we met but our friendship feels like we’ve been a band together for several years.

Our first song <Butterfly, Finding Flower> was released on the 13th of August.

Please introduce yourselves~

Kang Hyungu (Leader, Guitarist)

My name is Kanghyun. I'm 19 years old. I'm the leader and the guitarist. My nickname is especially ... ah, the members think I'm a genius at guitar but I don't think so. Yeah, that's it.

HYUNGU'S PERSONALITY:

Hyungu: I'm ... a little bit shy.

Netri: It does seem like it. Not once have you maintained eye contact with me.

Hyungu: Yes ... ㅋㅋㅋ I'm somewhat shy. I hate wasting even the slightest bit of time. So when there's nothing to do when I'm in the car, I would either read books or be preoccupied with something else.

Harin: But I think he really is that kind of person. The first time we’ve seen each other was when we were in middle school. We met through this teacher and we were having a conversation, but not once did he look up, and he just stood there. Then I thought, I wanted to get acquainted and familiarize myself with him more soon.

Dongmyeong: But when we actually got to know one another, we suddenly became close.

Harin: He may be very shy, but after a while, he opens up about everything.

Giwook: Hyungu hyung is ... a meticulous person? And he also practices very diligently. He's truly a sincere hyung and that's why he's cool.

Yonghoon: That sounded soulless ㅋㅋㅋ First of all, he's definitely a very shy one, which was the reason why I actually made a lot of effort towards him. Since I'm the older one, it seemed a lot harder to do [the approaching]. So, I purposefully extended phone calls with him at night and sent him lengthy messages bit by bit on Kakaotalk. The first time when we weren't as close, our exchanges were something along the lines of, "Whenever [Yonghoon] hyung says something like this, I feel really moved." But as time passed on and we've grown more close, it's now more of "Hyung, you're being overly dramatic again. Good night" ㅋㅋㅋ A lot has changed since.

Dongmyeong: Hyungu hyung may be a really shy person, but he's also quite bashful. He acts like a real man. ㅋㅋㅋ But he's definitely leader material. The members are actually quite young so we tend to slack off often, but whenever we do so, he would catch us [and scold them for it]. So I think he's exactly like a leader in that respect.

JU HARIN (DRUMMER)

I'm the drummer in MAS, 19-year old Harin. I may not have a nickname though, I think ... Since I have more of a caring nature, I lean more towards sort of being described as a housewife, kind of like a 'housewife' mother. MAS' mother.

HARIN'S PERSONALITY:

Harin: My personality is something along the lines of ... being able to befriend people quick. I don't particularly like being shy so I'm the kind of person who will approach someone first. I'm extremely caring.

Ever since I was young, you could say I was almost responsible for raising a younger sibling. Since I was five, our parents would often go on business trips, so I had to take care of my sister and that's where my family-oriented nature came in. I would cook at home and receive advice from mom, so my overall character just seems to be more of a family-oriented person, like a mother or a father.

Hyungu: Yeah, I think so, too.

Dongmyeong: Elaborate a little bit more on that please.

Hyungu: There's a lot of ground to cover though. But ... he's good-natured. He does seem to have a bit of a lazy side to him, right?  ㅋㅋㅋ Yeah, let's just move on.

Giwook: It's true that Harin hyung is the most caring person. But Yonghoon also takes good care of us. And he's also really playful.

Harin: What? Is that it?

Dongmyeong: Ah~ Can I go for it? Can I?

Yonghoon: Yeah ... Giwook and I thought of the same thing ㅋㅋㅋ No, just kidding. As Harin said, he is definitely a family person and he's also quite sociable. He briefly met my younger brother. In about 15 seconds of meeting him, [Harin] already had an arm around his [Yonghoon's brother's] shoulder. And also, as Hyungu said earlier, he can be the lazy type but that's something that he can improve upon himself.

Dongmyeong: Ah, for me ... Harin hyung truly does take care of us well. He certainly does.

Harin: What’s this all of a sudden?

Dongmyeong: It’s true! That’s what he’s like! ㅋㅋㅋ (Just kidding, just kidding). Harin hyung is really friendly. He met my brother one time and it was almost as though the two of them haven't seen each other in 30 years. At home, my brother even said, "That hyung is strange."

Yonghoon: So did my brother.

Dongmyeong: But it was- it was nice.

LEE GIWOOK (MAKNAE, BASSIST, LYRICIST)

Hello, I'm the youngest in MAS, 17-year old Lee Giwook. Ah, that's right. I'm also the bassist of the group. Hmm .. what else .. I'm just the youngest. The youngest in the band.

*The members interrupting* (This particular part denotes the members cutting in) - He writes lyrics well. *He has written two songs in English. - With a bit of ... Googling... did he not (doubts about the translating situation)

I am responsible for song-writing. Please watch over me. ^^

GIWOOK'S PERSONALITY:

Giwook: Yes, hello? I'm the youngest. I am often understanding towards people! In a considerate manner. Hmm ... And even though I struggle to describe myself, I'm striving to live as a kind-hearted individual. Ah, and I often also hear that I'm more mature for someone my age. But despite my mature side, I still look young ... I don't know.

Hyungu: For me personally, he's truly admirable. Since we've been together from the very beginning, I think I'm the one who knows Giwook the best out of all the members. Firstly, I'm so proud of him, and he's never once stayed mad at me for a long period of time as we make fun and joke among ourselves. Giwook also doesn't swear, he's mature, and he thinks deeply. And now you're glaring at me ...? [at Giwook] Okay.

Harin: Next to Hyungu, I know Giwook the most, but I always feel sorry towards him. I was a junior and he was a freshman in high school when I first met him. I must've been a little distressing to him. I would often joke around because we were close, but Giwook must've felt hurt?

But he understood [the nature] of the situation and would come back a moment later saying, "It's okay, hyung~" So I joke around, but particularly more carefully around Giwook.

Dongmyeong: Always Giwook before me ...

Harin: Yeah, that's about right.

Dongmyeong: What's worse is that he doesn't even answer my phone calls.

Harin: No! No! That may be so, but he's very considerate and kind. As you get to know him better, you'll notice he's more reserved towards the older ones. Especially towards the noonas. Awo~ I can't even say it. Let's end it at that. And he does an excellent job at writing lyrics for songs and raps. He is one talented individual.

Yonghoon: Giwook may be the youngest but he is definitely praiseworthy. As the older one, I'd want to be the one to watch over him but I also want him to speak to me when something goes wrong - because I can tell. When there is something that bothers them, whatever it may be, I want them to be able to talk about it, but neither Hyungu nor Giwook say anything. Besides that though, he's amazing, mature, and he's great at writing song and rap lyrics. I think he's definitely the best younger brother.

Dongmyeong: Giwook and I are the same age so ... Even though Giwook comes across as mature, he can still be playful and can mess around like his peers. But I think he can also be under a lot of stress. He’s a quiet person, and even though it appears as if he's under a lot of pressure to be good [at what he does], you can obviously tell. Yet he doesn't talk about it. If he were to say enough, we could help each other out. Yeah, we would.

JIN YONGHOON (ELDEST HYUNG, VOCALIST, GUITARIST)

Hello, I am. MAS' eldest, the vocalist, and guitarist Jin Yonghoon. My nickname ... I always take care of the younger ones with a generous heart.

*Huh? What are you on about?

It's always raining and snowing... [referring to how the members have so much to say]

Heoheoheoheo (we'll cut the downpour of complaints here)

I think I'm like a father who cherishes and loves you

*Absolutely not. It's like ... we'll just leave it at that.

YONGHOON'S PERSONALITY:

Yonghoon: My personality ... since I have a younger brother, I treat the younger members well. Honestly.

Dongmyeong: COUGH COUGH ... So shameless ... COUGH

Yonghoon: I'm not good with hyungs. I can't adjust to their level. And I seem to be the kind of person who has to deal with them one by one. Yeah, that sounds about right. I can't just sit back and watch if someone tries to bother the younger ones.

Dongmyeong: Wah you're a gangster, hyung.

Yonghoon: Yeah, that's right ...

Hyungu: I think Yonghoon hyung is like the pillar of the group. I personally like him a lot. He's filled with charisma. It's the same way when we're on stage, but even when it's just among us, he would be more reprimanding, and when we play around he makes it more fun. I don't think I would be able to do any of those if I were him. But that's just what I think. He does it towards the younger ones often on Kakaotalk.

I personally haven't given the younger members my Kakaotalk. But after meeting Yonghoon, he's been helpful towards me [in that area of connecting with the younger members]. Sort of like a life coach? Yeah, that's all. Hyung. I love you.

Dongmyeong: This is like a healing camp.

Harin: Yeah, Hyungu and I feel the same way. When I can't get it together, [Yonghoon] hyung has been the pillar. And with his charisma ... sometimes he's charismatic, other times he isn't. It comes and goes like a split personality. The first few times I've been with him, he would scold me a lot. But because of that, I am who I am now.

Giwook: Yonghoon has a fatherly personality. Even with just the four of us doing activities as a band, Yonghoon just waltzed in and it suddenly felt even more like a band. He's a great singer and he's really nice. But there's hardly any instances where he doesn't depend on us. We just got back from Lotteria [a fast food chain in South Korea], and he would ask us to do this or that, or throw this or that away. Though he's there when we need someone to rely on, too. Yeah, that's all.

Dongmyeong: Yonghoon hyung gives a lot of advice. He would even give advice on the smallest of things. But he can't do any handiwork. He would always be constantly teasing me about nothing else but singing, but has he ever tidied something up with his own two hands? No, right?

As for instances of that ... We were out eating at Lotteria and there was one time where he saw me just leaving and not cleaning up. But he also really just left [the trash] behind. So then I had to do the clean up in the end. He can sometimes be really childish. He's just whining and making a fuss on the daily...

Yonghoon: Yeah!!! (hurriedly rushing)

SON DONGMYEONG (VOCALIST, PIANIST)

Yes, I'm the vocalist and pianist in MAS, Son Dongmyeong. My foot size is 280 [for reference, that is a 9.5 in NA sizes]. So my nickname is 발동명 [foot Dongmyeong - though the word ‘발동‘ can also mean ‘to instigate/to start something’]

-- But your height is 160 cm.

What's that supposed to mean!! Please don't believe that. Also, I was born in 2000 but since I was born earlier than Giwook, I'm his hyung. It may only be a two-week gap [between him and Giwook] but I entered high school earlier than him.

Netri: So, that makes you a hyung to him?

Yes, but we sometimes talk casually as well.

[It is generally common courtesy to speak to someone in a respectful manner if they're older than you or if you've just met them. But once you've both established a more familiar relationship, especially if you’re the same age, you could also speak casually!]

- You’re in middle school and I’m in high school so you have to call me hyung~

What sort of set up is this.

DONGMYEONG'S PERSONALITY:

Dongmyeong: I ... am also shy at first, but once we grow closer, everything becomes okay. Ah, no? You don't think I'm shy? Hmm ... I'm quite timid.

Yonghoon: He is very talented. You'll know once you see him during a concert.

Dongmyeong: Umm ... but even though I have a lot to say, [those words] aren't reflective of what I truly mean. Isn't that right?

Yonghoon: But you can't ask that.

Dongmyeong: I really don't know ... my personality ...

Yonghoon: Okay, so we will do the talking.

Hyungu: Honestly, Dongmyeong speaks politely. I think he's one of the most kind-hearted kids. And that is truly nice. But that [kind of personality] can also be bad. He is really nice and also very naive. So I think it would be good for him to comfortably express how he truly feels. At first, I was like "how can he be so angelic?" But that was just at first.

Dongmyeong: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!

Yonghoon: Now he's more like a sergeant.

Hyungu: I'm usually more of a tsundere towards Dongmyeong. Whenever he asks me a question, I just give a prompt response - but that's not what I'm truly trying to say. Honestly, conversations with Dongmyeong can be quite bothersome ㅋㅋㅋ I don't want to respond ㅋㅋㅋㅋ But he's definitely a good younger brother.

Harin: I don't have much to say other than that. I think his kindness is just a facade. There have been instances where, even though he is nicely talking to me, I can't take it seriously because he sounds too innocent. Even when I'm tired, I seriously go "Ah, stop." but he would punch me and say "Ayyye #%$%$" He can be senseless sometimes.

Yonghoon: He always takes things too far... So he's Do # (Seriously, what kind of gags does this guy have?)

[Yonghoon said '도를 넘어' which translates to 'being excessive/going too far' but can also mean 'beyond Do (as in the note)' ... hence... the Do # pun... Thanks for the dad jokes, Yonghoon. We love ya]

Giwook: Hello, it's the maknae here. As far as I'm concerned, I've ... (taking notice) spent the most time with Dongmyeong. We live 5 minutes away from one another, and our schools were also actually close to each other. Personality-wise, Dongmyeong is kind-hearted, but his talent is no joke either. He is quite skilled. He can be playful. He's a ... really good hyung. The mood maker?

Harin: I think he holds up the role of the energizer [in the group].

Giwook: Without Dongmyeong hyung, things would be terribly dull. And also, when it's just the two of us alone, we tend to have serious conversations, and he seems like a different person. He cries, too.

Dongmyeong: You're so mean~!!

Yonghoon: Dongmyeong ... is definitely the one I talk to the most - the reason being is that we're the most talkative ones. When he's not able to sleep at night, he's always messaging me on Kakaotalk. I always ‘see’ him. Even though I get confused with what goes on with the others, I just see it as is with Dongmyeong. Even just from his clumsy way of walking ... 'Ah, there's something going on with him" - I just see it.

The first time around when he was still really shy, I started a conversation with him like, "Dongmyeong-ah, did you eat" and he goes "Ah! No! Would you like to eat?" But these days, it's more like "Hey, what do you wanna eat?" ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Even now when we joke around, he can still get hurt since he's soft-hearted, but he pretends that he isn't. But then I see that. To tell you the truth, I feel sorry for him once in a while. But then that’s what makes me want to tease him even more ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

A FAVOURITE SONG OF YOURS IS ...?

Hyungu: There are two songs that immediately come to mind - <PEACE> is one of them. It's really good, but above all,

- You wrote the melody for it

Yeah, very much so. I think it's good.

[I unfortunately was not able to find a performance of PEACE anywhere ;-;]

Harin: Yeah, I really like <PEACE> too. The reason being is that, one time, Hyungu and I were staying at my house, and we were both playing guitar and singing, and then the chords just came out nicely ... So we took those and showed it to them [the other members] and were met with good reactions, and because I'm a fan of awesome things [like the song], this song is definitely my style.

Giwook: For me, the song <PEACE> and <Starlight> are songs I've composed ... What these two songs have in common is that they're both undoubtedly dynamic. The beginning starts off quietly but then it unravels at the end part. The lyrics are good, the melody is also good. I think it's just really good. I also wrote the lyrics for <PEACE> as well.

Yonghoon: I also had two songs in mind - <Blessing> and <Starlight>

[I couldn't find a video performance for 'Peace' but here is a video link to Blessing! ]

I wasn't originally going to go with <Blessing> but ... I wrote this one. And it is also rather cold out now. It's winter. The melody for this song is the exact thing that reminds me of winter. It is definitely a warm and dynamic kind of song.

Dongmyeong: For me, it's <Feeling Good> and <A Wonderful Person> [also was not able to find a video performance for this song] The maknae, Giwook, wrote the lyrics for <Feeling Good>, and it's the most well-known song of ours. It's just something that easily comes to mind and that anyone can relate to. And the lyrics are also really nice.

I wrote the lyrics with Yonghoon hyung for <A Wonderful Person> ... I haven't tried doing that with the other members yet, but it's a song for my father.

[Link to a live performance video of ‘Starlight’] 

WHY DO YOU DO MUSIC?

Hyungu: Music ... is that not a reason?

Dongmyeong: Music!~ Music is my life.

Hyungu: Honestly, if you were to ask about the reasons, there's a lot ... Or there's none. Right now I honestly don't know. I think I might know if you ask it again.

Harin: I’ve honestly found playing the drums to be fun and interesting since I was younger. When I get hooked onto something, I deeply get into it. The more I play the drums, even the drum sounds become more interesting to me. I also get to be part of a band as well. I feel a different kind of charm when the drum sounds come out. When I share music with this friend (Hyungu), I get to experience new things, too. I want to see this through until the end.

Giwook: When I was in fifth grade, a close friend of mine asked me to form a band with them. I was going to play the drums at first, but then I switched to the bass. The more we do music, the more fun it becomes and I get attached to it. I can also learn about one's personality through music. I think music is appealing. It's fun. I will be doing music until I die.

Yonghoon: Back when I was a student, I went to a Lee Seungcheul concert with my mom and my grandmother. That's when I felt it then - that this is what I should do. I may not have lived for that long yet, but my most honourable memory to date is that connection I had with Lee Seungcheul.

He had hurt me at first. I went to Super Star K 4 a while ago. I got through to the second round, then I approached him only to hear biting remarks. I remember being hurt then. And then I recently went to Lee Seungcheul's studio to record the chorus [part of a song?]. So I did the recording, and had a meal. I was sitting close by and he gave me alcohol as I was an adult by then. That was the most honourable moment to me. I think it was because of him that I was able to do music.

Dongmyeong: For me, it's just ... nice to give everyone what they like. The reason why I still enjoy performing is because people feel happy when I sing. All these people like it and I become interested. So I just like it.

[Link to a video performance of ‘Blessing’]

Netri: Even though they do music at such a young age, their heart and actions are never light as MAS 0094 has their own personal philosophy and thoughts regarding music. This was a moment where I certainly learned a lot from them. Even though they are younger than me, they definitely have a better understanding of [the certainty of] their own thoughts and dreams. I hope you are able to maintain this same genuine passion for music in the future as well. Adios~

#onewe #yonghoon #harin #kanghyun #dongmyeong #cya #translations #this may or may not be on a read more break on mobile #i sure hope it becomes a read more break on mobile though