#*stevens voice* i dont think i have ever said that sentence in my entire life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wolfdeamonghoul · 5 years

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Guilt, Death and Confessions

Summary: Bucky regrets how he treated you. You give Steve a call.

Warnings: mentions of cancer, character death, mentions of suicide and depression, angst. Lots of it

Tags: @lxdyred also if anyone else wants To be tagged or not let me know thank you 😊

part one part two part three

“Hey, man, it’s gonna be ok.” Sam attempted to reassure his friend, “...” Steve kept staring at the open casket that held the face of Margaret Carter. His old flame from high school who ended up marrying his teammate Daniel.

Cancer. Considering how tough Peggy was, it was a strange thought that she would ever get it. But sadly she did. The doctor said she wouldn’t make it past two years. But she definitely proved him wrong. Lasting for four years.

Daniel was still heartbroken over his loss. But not as Much as the blonde. Poor Steve was heartbroken after finding out through her step brother, Tony.

Sam and Bucky didn’t bother him at all that day. Letting the broken man be by himself. It was for the best.

That was until Steve quit his job at the law firm. The man was slowly losing contact with society. He drank a lot in the day, and stay up until midnight dancing to the song that he danced to with Peggy back in high school. Each day Steve became more broken than Bucky Barnes.

After finding out from Steve that you went with Natasha to Paris, he went on a drinking binge. But that was before Steve became depressed. Nowadays what was once happiness was now replaced with the stench of booze and sandwiches.

The two men lost someone special to them. Steve lost Peggy. Bucky lost you. Steve became worse when he got drunk. One day when Sam and the guys had gotten fed up with the duo just moping around they tried to lift their spirits by coming over.

They were horrified when they caught a drunk Bucky trying to stop a drunk Steve from hanging himself. “STEVEEEE! NO!” Bucky screamed trying to pry the rope away from the blonde’s hands. “LET ME... DOOO THIS, B-BUCKY!” Steve screamed back.

Scott and Rhodey managed to get them away from the rope before they did anything they would regret.

It took several months of therapy to get Steve to stop. Bucky was still trying to get over you, which was funny to him how you were able to make him feel this broken.

So broken that not even Steve could help. “Buck, don’t you think—” Bucky threw an empty bottle of booze at him. “DONT YOU DARE FINISH THAT FUCKING SENTENCE!” He screamed. “Ok! I’m sorry!” The blonde exclaimed as he dodged the bottle flying towards him, watching as it hit the wall and shattered into millions of pieces.

He sighed softly, knowing that he had to stop Buck before he was too far gone like he once was.

When he felt his phone vibrate, Steve went outside as Bucky attempted to drink his problems away.

“Hello?” He asked.

After just hearing the news of Peggy’s death you immediately called Steve. “Steve? It’s (y/n), god, I’m so sorry about Peggy!” You exclaimed. You heard him sigh on the other end. “(Y/n),thank you so much for the concern... but the funeral was ten months ago,” he whispered

“It’s nice to hear your voice again, hows Paris treating you?” You smiled thinking of all of the wonderful sights that France had to offer. “Amazing, but I miss you.” You spoke softly as you were trying to hold back your tears.

“Me and Bucky miss you too,” Steve sighed. Your eyes widened, even though Paris gave you no trace of said man you still missed him dearly. But to hear Steve say he missed you? You felt all your breath flew out of the window.

“H—he missed me?” You stuttered out. “More than you’ll ever know.” He murmured gently. “(Y/n), can I ask you something?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“You have to be honest.” Steve ordered softly so Bucky wouldn’t hear, he could hear his best friend smashing things around in the room.

“I will, and what was that?”

“Not important right now, and you have to never extremely honest. Like me honest right now.”

“Ok, Steve! I got it! Just tell me for fucks sake!”

“Good, because what I have to ask you is—”

“Steven!”

“Did you leave because of what Bucky said to you at the party?”

The party. The thing you so dearly wished to forget.

“... that wasn’t the only reason,” you whimpered out sadly. Steve went to his room as soon as he heard you.

“What happened?” He asked after closing the door. “Ten months ago... Bucky and I took your car out for a spin on a Friday night,” you told him. “... and then, we uh...” you blushed. “What the hell did you do in my car?” The blonde grit his teeth as he spoke, if he found a dent on his car then he’d kill Bucky before you got the chance to.

“... we made love to it in the backseats...” Steve’s entire face went crimson. A darker shade than yours ever was. “Note to self, immediately clean the inside of my baby later,” he muttered. “So... that’s what happened?”

“... yes.”

“Did he break your heart after?” Steve had already known of your feelings for him. “... yes,” you couldn’t help but let out a small sob. Steve sighed when he heard you, he wished that he was there with you to hold you close like he did when you were still living in the apartment.

“I’m sorry, (y/n),” Steve said. “Stevie... I need to tell you this,” you whispered. “Yes?” He was all ears. “... Bucky wasn’t the first guy to break my heart.”

“Who was he?” And so you explained to him about your relationship with Thor Odinson. To how you two were childhood friends until high school came around. You were Both freshmen and trying to get through the struggles of that life.

It wasn’t up until your sophomore year that you both realized you loved each other. Going on dates, spending as much time with each other as you could. Up until senior year when the new girl, Jane Foster came along. At first you thought she was just being friendly, up until you caught Thor saying he loved her more than you, even sharing a passionate kiss as well.

Hurt you dumped Thor and avoided him ever since. “There you have it,” you sighed. Steve frowned, knowing exactly what it was like to lose someone you loved. “(Y/n), I’m so—” Bucky broke open Steve’s door, pushing Steve to the floor as he took his phone.

“(Y— y/n)?” He whispered, but you had already hung up before Steve could apologize, curling yourself into a ball as you cried.

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Looking up, you saw Clint, Natasha’s fiancé crouched down in front of you. You nodded. Clint sighed pulling you close so you could cry in his arms.

How did you deserve so much heartbreak? You had no clue. You wished for something good to go happen to you for once though.

#steggy #steve rogers #bucky barnes #reader inserts #modern au #marvel x reader #clint barton #thor odinson

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