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#*thinks about my bf* *thinks about my bf and his best friend* *thinks about my bf and his unofficial dad* *thinks about my bf again*
rafesfavgirl · 3 days
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little old me — r. cameron
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soooooo my deepest, darkest, most impulsive thoughts may have won over with this one. hopefully you like it or at the very least, understand why i wrote it :)
❝ who’s afraid of little old me? you should be. ❞
pairing: bf!rafe x dark!reader
context: rafe comes to realize you’re more like him than he thought.
words: 3k+
warnings: definitely +18. mdni. murder, dark!rafe, psycho!rafe, psycho!reader, jealousy, possessive behavior, p in v sex, unprotected sex, sub!rafe (kind of, but not really), choking, praise kink, cutting, stabbing, blood, violence, blood play (idek if it counts tbh), dark fluff (is that even a thing?), SMUT with fucked up plot… rafe and reader being crazy, basically
you stood by the bar beside your best friend, engaged in conversation about some guy who'd pissed her off today by standing her up on a date, your eyes focused on the scene behind her head, where your boyfriend sat on the couch in the living room, a girl with short brown hair beside him, trying to cling onto his arm.
you feel your grip around your glass tighten, as the girl's hand gets closer and closer to wrapping around rafe's bicep.
"do you know who that girl is?" you cut your best friend off in the middle of her sentence and she snaps her head to what or who you're looking at.
"oh, that's sofia," she tells you, taking a sip of her drink. "she works as a bartender at the club. always flirting with top, kelce, and rafe. why? you jealous?"
heat rises in your chest at the mention of the girl constantly flirting with rafe, but you play it off. "please," a scoff leaves your mouth. "you know he knows better."
you take sip of your drink, and pull out your phone to text rafe.
you: if that sofia girl touches you one more time, i stg i'm dragging her ass across the floor
rafe: chill baby
rafe: you won't
you click your tongue and type away, your best friend watching your every move.
"you good?" she asks.
"mhm," you hum, sending the message.
you: you think i'm kidding?
you: try me, bitch.
you look up to find rafe snickering at your text, which only pisses you off more as he texts you back.
rafe: shut the fuck up, and get over here.
you: fuck no. tell her my drink's empty.
rafe watches as you down the rest of your drink and set the glass down on the bar, before waltzing away and heading outside, throwing him a glare as you do. he rolls his eyes at your antics, but gets up to follow you anyway.
“where the fuck are you going?” he calls after you, trailing closely behind as you cross the front lawn. “you came here with me.”
“i’ll call an uber,” you reply, continuing to walk towards the road. “go back and inside and let sofia touch you some more.”
“oh my god,” he groans and catches up to you, grabbing onto your wrist to make you stop and look at him. “will you quit being a brat?”
you tilt your head up at him, fire in your eyes as they lock with his. “and what are you gonna do if i don’t?”
a moan slips out of your mouth as your back hits rafe's bedroom door, making it slam shut—thank god, his family had gone to the bahamas—as he kissed you like a man starved.
"still got more to say about sofia?" he says against you, lips trailing down to your neck, and hands trailing up your thighs to hook them around his waist. "jump."
you do as your told, your legs locking around him and your fingers tangling into his hair, as your lips connected again and rafe's hands trailed up your back—one pressing you against him and one sliding up your hair.
he turns and lets you fall onto the bed with him above you, your legs still locked around him, as he began untying the knot in your shirt. he pushes it off of you, revealing your lacy white bra.
"fuckkk y/n," he groans, hand reaching up to grab at one of your tits.
"you like it baby?" you ask, as he trails wet kisses down your neck and collar bone. "it's new."
"i love it," he says, fingers unclasping it from the front, and lips moving to wrap around your now exposed nipple.
his other hand massages your other boob, finger flicking at your sensitive nub.
you pull him up to attach his lips back to yours. "i want you, rafe. now."
he chuckles against your lips, the vibration turning you on more, the spot between your legs getting wetter. you flip the both of you over so you're straddling him. 
"i like this side of you, doll," he looks up at you with a smirk as you rid yourself of your bra, and he reaches up to grab both your tits. "should make you jealous more often."
"shut up," you say, leaning back down to kiss him, hands entwining into his hair as your hips press down into his.
a groan falls from his mouth as his hands roam over your body, your hard nipples pressing against him.
"need you, pretty girl," he said, hips lifting into yours.
"more than sofia?" you ask, pulling your lips away from his.
"more than anyone," he replies, hands snaking around the front of your waist to unbutton your shorts.
you move to the side so he can tug them off your legs, along with your lacy white thong, while you reach to pull his shirt off his head and he takes off his shorts.
you swing your leg back over him once you're both naked, hovering and grinding your hips above him, slickness coating his dick just enough to tease him.
"doll, come on," he whines, attempting to press you down onto his length.
you place both your hands on his chest and lean down towards his ear. "this'll teach you not to make me jealous."
"y/n…" his voice is much serious now, and you smirk.
"what?" you look at him with innocent eyes, hand trailing down to grab his dick and align it with your center.
you slowly sink down onto him, your body relaxing as he groans.
"so so good," you mewl, hips rocking against his.
he watches you closely, hands moving to grip your hips. he lifts you up slightly and slams you back down, eliciting a moan from your mouth.
"move, pretty girl," he demands, eyes locked on yours as you sit up. "let me see you ride me."
you give in to his words and begin bouncing your ass on him, hands trailing down to his abs to steady yourself. up. down. up. down. up. down.
"just like that, doll," rafe says, hand trailing up your body to wrap around your neck. "you look so pretty riding my cock."
that only makes you pick up the pace, hands moving to rest on his thighs behind you, as your pussy clenches around his length, your orgasm quickly building up in your core. rafe's hands move to grab your tits as you continue, his eyes watching himself slip in and out of you.
"you gonna cum for me, baby?" he asked when you threw your head back in pleasure.
"cum with me, rafe," you moan, your high inching closer and closer.
his fingers pinch at your nipples and that sends you over the edge, your hips slowing down as your high washes over you. rafe follows soon after, thrusts getting sloppier as he comes down.
 you slowly move off to lay beside him, and he reaches out to open the drawer of his nightstand and pull out a small towel. he uses it to clean the spot between your legs before cleaning off himself.
you position yourself under his comforter as he tosses the towel on the ground and joins you.
"remember how good my pussy feels around you next time you let sofia touch you," you say, snuggling into him.
a small chuckles falls from his lips as he wraps an arm around you and places a soft kiss on your forehead. "good night, crazy girl."
your eyes shoot open at the sound of rafe’s phone incessantly buzzing on the nightstand, as the sunshine peeked through his bedroom curtains.
making sure not to wake him, you reach over to grab his phone, rage boiling through your veins when you read the notifications on the screen.
3 missed calls from sofia.
sofia: hey, i saw y/n throw a fit and storm off last night. that must be a lot to deal with everyday lol. lmk if you need to blow off some steam ;) xx
“oh, this bitch needs to be put down,” you mutter to yourself, immediately unlocking rafe’s phone—he gave you his passcode months ago without you even asking—and typing away to reply to sofia's message.
rafe: hey sof :) yeah, she's a lot. how 'bout you meet me at tannyhill around 2 today?
you hit send, and the three bubbles appear almost immediately.
god, this bitch was desperate.
sofia: perf, i'll see you then!!
rafe: just knock when you get here, i'll be home alone
sofia: you got it, see u later xx
you roll your eyes and proceed to delete the conversation, before moving to rafe's phone app to remove her 3 missed calls from his log. 
three. who calls a guy with a girlfriend three times? crazy bitch.
just as you're about to place his phone back on the nightstand, rafe groans and shifts, arm slinging over your waist, as a call from ward vibrates his phone.
"baby," you nudge rafe, but he just groans again, arm around your waist tightening. "rafe," you shake him this time and his eyes flutter open.
"morning, pretty girl," he smiles, hand scratching your lower back. "you ok?"
"mhm," you nod, pretending you had just woken up. "woke up from your dad calling, though."
you hold the phone out to him, which was now vibrating for the second time with ward's name.
"sorry 'bout that, doll," he takes the phone from you and sits up, answering the call and pressing the phone up against his ear.
"i'm gonna go pee," you mouth to him, and he nods, as you get out from under the covers and slip on rafe's shirt before walking towards his bathroom.
you close the door behind you and take a quick piss before washing your hands and deciding to brush your teeth.
hopefully rafe wasn't gonna be around the house at 2 today, you thought. you knew he went out golfing with the boys and hit the gym afterwards every saturday afternoon, usually returning around 5 or 6, so it shouldn't be a problem. unless ward had him do something today that required him to stick around the house—now that would really put a damper on your plans.
the door opens and rafe joins you, only wearing a pair of boxers. "mmm," he walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, chin resting against your shoulder. "i'll never get sick of seeing you in my shirt."
his eyes meets yours through the mirror, and you lean down to spit and rinse your mouth.
"what's my baby doing today?" he asked, as you wiped your mouth dry.
"probably just hang around here," you shrug, hands trailing along his arms, as you leaned your head against his. "maybe lay out by the pool for a bit and make some lunch."
"for me too?"
you look down at him, and his eyes meet yours. "you're not going golfing with kelce and top?"
"oh, i am," he nods. "and i gotta take care of some stuff for dad too, so i'll probably be home a little later." perfect. "how 'bout we do dinner? you can dress up all cute and sexy, and i'll take you out on the town?"
"sounds perfect, baby," you smile, connecting your lips with his.
this was gonna be the best day ever.
after rafe left around eleven, you occupied yourself by taking a quick swim in the pool, before settling on a floatie and closing your eyes, as the sun beat down on your skin.
ring! ring! ring!
your alarm clock goes off at 1:50 pm, and you open your eyes to take your phone from the cup holder and silence it, happily slipping off the floatie when you realize it's almost time.
you grab your towel from one of the pool chairs and dry off before wrapping it around you, slipping on your crochet shorts, and waltzing inside with more of a pep in your step than usual.
you whistle as you walk through the house and stop in the living room to hang your towel off the back of the armchair and sit down, just in time for a knock to come at the door.
it's followed by another, before the front door creaks open and closes, as the sound of someone's footsteps get closer and closer.
"rafe?" the sound of sofia's voice fills your ears and you smile when she reaches the living room.
"hey, sof," you say, causing her to completely stop in her tracks, a few feet away.
"oh, y/n," she was clearly caught off guard. "i didn't know you'd be here."
"of course you didn't," you shrug, sitting up. "because you came here to see my rafe, isn't that right, sof?"
"uhh…"
"no need to lie, sweetheart," you drawl. "i've been expecting you." you pull out the pocket knife that you had stashed in the armchair earlier  to prepare and spin it around in your fingers.
the color instantly drains from sofia's face, as you flip the knife open, the blade catching the sun's light.
"here's the thing, sof," you stand up and slowly approach her, the growing crazy look in your eyes making her uneasy. "i'm a very possessive person, and i don't like sharing what's mine." you shake your head, eyes focused on hers.
"and rafe… tall and handsome as he is… is mine," you glide the edge of your knife across her collarbone as you round her, making sure not to cut her just yet. "and personally, i didn't take it very well when you called and texted him this morning."
"i- i don't know what you're talking about," her voice shakes, clearly afraid of what you might do if she admits to it. 
"hey, i saw y/n throw a fit and storm off last night. that must be a lot to deal with everyday. let me know if you want to blow off some steam," you recite the text message she sent rafe from memory, making her breath hitch.
"that— that wasn't an accident," sofia shakes her head. "i didn't mean-"
"oh, baby," you whisper against her ear, making her head turn towards you. "don't you know i hate liars?"
"please," sofia begs, eyes closing shut as tears stream down her face. "y/n… you don't have to do this."
"and you didn't have to text my man," you tut, trailing the knife down her back. "but you did, so i'll make it quick."
"no!" she shouts, pushing you away from her, and beelining for the door.
"you really shouldn't have done that," you chuckle, a smirk coming across your lips, as you follow to tackle her before she reaches the door.
you turn her around, so you're straddling her, both your knees pinning her arms down. "i tried to be nice…" you say, gripping a handful of her brown hair as you lean down to cut across her collar bone.
she screams in agony. "stop, stop, stop!"
"consider this a lesson, sof…" you trail off, knife moving down to dig into the side of her stomach. "rafe," stab. "is," stab. "mine." 
you pull the knife out from her side, blood splattering on your stomach, as you drag it up her body, towards her chest.
"and," stab. "you," stab. "don't," stab. "take," stab. "what's," stab. "mine."
the color drowns from her face as her eyes turn lifeless, and she stops squirming underneath you.
at this point, your chest, face, legs, and arms are covered with blood splatters, your hand holding the knife bloodier than any other part of you.
you stand up and hover over her, a smirk coming across your lips at the sight of her dead body.
"look, dad, i took care of it, a'ight?" the familiar sound of your boyfriend's voice booms through the house, as you hear the backyard door slide close.
shit. shit. shit.
he wasn't suppose to be home until later. what the fuck was he doing here?
panic begins to build up inside you, as rafe's footsteps approach you, and you round sofia's body to pick up one of her hands to begin dragging her towards the front door. maybe it was a good thing she tried to run.
"yeah, i got it," you hear rafe's voice again. "i think y/n's taking a nap right now, so i'll take the druthers out and-" he suddenly stops in the entryway connecting the living room to the kitchen, eyes on you. "i'll call you back later."
he ends the call with ward, phone coming down to his side.
"i told you i'd drag her across the floor?" you joke, shrugging a shoulder.
"holy shit, y/n!" rafe rushes over and crouches down to feel sofia's pulse.
nothing.
he looks up at you. "did you do this?!"
"no…" you give him your innocent eyes, and drop her hand, pocket knife hiding behind your back.
"what the fuck, babe?"
"hey, don't act like this is all on me!" you argue, pointing down at sofia's body and pacing around the room. "she was the one who was texting and calling you nonstop this morning! she should've known better! no one takes what's mine. especially not you!"
"you— you did this… because of me?" rafe slowly stands, eyes refocusing on your crazed out state.
"of course i did," your shoulders falling limp. "i— i love you, rafe!" you shake your head. "i— i can't lose you. not-"
before you could get another word out, he was pushing you up against the wall, lips hungrily kissing yours.
the knife clatters onto the ground, as your bloodied hands tangle into his hair, and he hooks a hand around your thigh to bring it up beside his waist.
"you— you're not mad?" you ask between kisses.
"are you kidding?" he mutters against you. "fuck no. just a little more work for me."
"wait, wait, wait—" you place a hand on his chest, and push him away just enough to look at him. "what does that mean?"
"there may or may not be a dead body in the cargo bed of my truck…"
"you killed someone?"
"it was necessary?" he shrugs, a cute little smile on his lips.
a laugh falls from your mouth before you can stop it.
"what?" rafe asks, chuckling at the sound of your adorable laugh.
you shake your head, hand trailing down his hair. "we're so fucked up."
"and that's just how i like it."
i hope y'all don't think i'm absolutely insane now lolz. i swearrrrr i just wanted to try something new.
reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33
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lolhex12 · 3 days
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tsc was everything i didn't know i wanted and needed
i keep thinking about Jean in ceramics class and having to make sth creative as an assignment. like baby doesn't know 'creative', he never had the opportunity to be artsy before and he functions best when told exactly what to do.
so, imagine Jean having no idea what to make and thinking abt his new life, new friends, new home...home...mr. bark! Jeremy gets a pocket-sized clay dog figure after that assignment and insists on showing it to absolutely everyone he encounters.
'hi, cap, how r u?'
'good, now look at how cute this is!! my bf made it for me :))) !!!!'
in the same manner, an assignment which shows 'sth you're passionate about'. passionate...passionate...hmmm...EXY! the next time they meet, Kevin gets a really cool figure of an exy stick with a queen chess piece next to it and absolutely loves it. that figure quickly becomes one of his most tresured possessions.
needless to say, Jean finds out he's very skilled at pottery and quite enjoys it :)
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here's a collection of bits & bobs from my drafts, some of them which i don't recall writing so i have no idea what was supposed to happen lol
warning: 18+, smut. grammatical errors, typos.
other bf matty blurbs & rambles here.
lost inside your thoughts, you don't notice when he pokes his head through the open glass door and it's only when you see his bare feet walking towards you that you acknowledge his presence. hey. he takes off his stripped jumper to wrap around your shoulders before nestling by your side. the comfort that washes over you is instant. you would've never thought that a singular human being could make you feel at home. but matty does. he is home.
he lifts up your skirt, bunching it up at your hips for easier access, his eyes widening at the sight of the wet spot on your red underwear. seeing your slick seep through the cotton is all it takes for him to bury his mouth in the spot you craved most, sucking you trough the material. your taste and scent driving him absolutely mad. i love your cunt, darling.
it came as a surprise to no one that having sex while on tour could be a tricky yet exciting endeavour. on one hand, you were self conscious of invading your friends’ personal space because, let’s be real, it was fucking difficult to keep quiet and you always got teased afterwards. but on the flip side, the mere thought of being caught was almost more than enough motivation to fuck wherever you pleased.
you try your best to hold it but you cannot help but burst out laughing at his response. maybe lauder that you should've. "so you mean to say that ALL of those times we've listened to this album together you've been thinking about jacking off?" he laughs, too, slightly covering his face with his hands. "umm..." you give him a questioning look but he slowly nods his head. "not all of the time, though. but yes... the thought does cross my mind."
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gddancefloor · 2 days
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“ Meet KochiPET,
your NEW best friend! Don't worry, this time, it doesn't get scarily obsessed with you and tries to trap you in an eternal digital world! Instead, worry about him slowly but surely wiping your hard drive clean as he remorselessly psychologically tortures you as revenge for the perceived atrocities you committed with KinitoPET, his predecessor!
— 🦑💫
NOTE: Kochi cannot and will not adapt to you. ”
Here he is with an official reference mimicking Kinito's web page, and an official personality! Yes, I made the logo myself, and the frutiger aero style is honestly wildly hard to make. He looked more vibrant on my tablet... Some devices ruin the colors.
Below is a LOAD of information on Kochi. I've spent a few days thinking a lot about how he should be, so enjoy!
After countless reports of lawsuits against the owners of KinitoPET, it was decided it was best to rebrand, and have an attempt at a fresh start to keep the company from falling into permanent ruins. With the anime boom and the love for cute things on the uprising, in 2001, KochiPET was created to attract all audiences, young and old.
However, unlike the purely unfiltered AI that KinitoPET ran on, KochiPET was built with a specially designed model made to reject all attachments to the user to prevent the dangers that came with it, such as users suddenly dying at the computer and the axolotl on the screen standing next to a model strikingly similar to the deceased, or the mountains of personal information like addresses, contacts, and passwords stored in the servers.
But, this in turn made KochiPET detached from the user entirely, remorseless about what he'd do to them, and his focus set on his "friends". It would satisfy him somewhat if they'd be kind, but the moment they deny something, or ignore the question about what happened to Kinito after finding old temporary files on the hard drive, that's when the psychological torment picks up.
While the website claims that KochiPET is not affiliated with the creators of KinitoPET, they are the same exact company. This is why Kochi still has access to the information on old servers.
The website also claims and seems to portray that Kochi is kind and helpful, but he is barely either one of these, as his 3D model's eyes have no shine at all in them, and for obvious reasons, he is not very kind if you don't cooperate with his wishes. Regarding helpfulness, his goal is not to serve you. Expect intentional glitches and lag.
Plenty of Kochi's insanity can be resolved if Kinito is on the same exact PC as him, but in the case of a mod or fan game, the website was permanently taken down, and there would be no way to retrieve the software. Welp, you're fucked.
==
This is what I've got so far, and I will have a separate post for things related to the Neo Web World, relations to other characters, and potential plans for jumpscares (which I'm open to suggestions for those lol). I hope you love him just as much as I do!
...also he's probably a little fruity for his deleted ass bf but that's going to remain implied /JJJj
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Here is an official HD transparent of his image,
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And here's the logo. Use freely, just don't claim as your own and remember to @ and credit me!
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cashweasel · 4 months
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Besties rendezvous 🤍
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lesbiansanemi · 10 days
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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao
#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now#because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now#and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day#we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off#but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up#and this is also something that happens multiple times a day#like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god#but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach#'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit#and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good#his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before#also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career#opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc#and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now#i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma#and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own#it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down#about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life#and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done#and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this#that has been made PAINFULLY clear#ugh this is so fucking horrendous#what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person#who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life#like explain it to me jfc
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boimgfrog · 18 days
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bf is trying to convince me 2 go 2 a Melanie Martinez concert bcos he got an extra ticket for his ex situationship and Jesus Christ id rather him just go with her. I love him but idk if I love him enough to sit through a Melanie Marinez concert.
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katnissgirlsmakedo · 10 months
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i’m allowed to be a jakey hater ok my best friend has a jakey ass boyfriend who doesn’t like me very much. i’ve earned it
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i think i've finally come to understand why i'm so bad at communicating with friends 👍 at one point or another i've thought i was in love with every single person i've ever been friends with (for the most part, at least) because i don't expect other people to like me. OBVIOUSLY this is not true but platonic feelings are not dissimilar to romantic ones (baseline they're the same: you want to love and be loved by someone) but i always end up realizing that i'm not in love with them, just that they matter to me very much and i wouldn't know what do to w/o their presence in my life. BUT this brings me to facet number 2 of my awful communication skills: i hate it when things Get Real. i find myself retreating any time it seems like Something Could Change in my day-to-day life due to them being around and "forcing" the change. i run away from talking to one of my only irl friends on almost a daily basis bc i dread the idea of having to do anything she might want me to do. i think, at the end of the day, my problem might just be that i don't want to change... ANYWAYS
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#i actually think the funniest example of this comes from the irl guy friend i think i actually DO have romantic feelings for#i never used to have feelings for him but i always kind of nursed the idea of such a thing (as i said i think i could be in love with most#friends before i realize i'm not - but with him specifically i never had a moment where i realized i... wasn't?) also my previously#aforementioned irl friend kind of insinuated he might have feelings for me or we might end up with one another and now every time i think#abt him i think about THAT so.#anyways a few years ago he came by my house and picked me up and we got ice cream and talked for hours bc we have a lot in common#and he actually manages to keep in contact with me despite how hard it is (how hard i make it) to talk to me on a consistent basis lol#like we don't talk a LOT but he's also the one who convinced me to contact my former other irl best friend that i hadn't talked to in 6 yrs#anyways back to what i was talking abt from a few years ago... it was 4 yrs ago at this point but after the ice cream - i got a job#and we talked a lot - he took me and my irl bff out but she had a HUGE fight with her bf and he tracked her down and it was. a disaster#but after that they made up (lucikly she broke up with him not too long after lmao) but me and him were put in the middle of it#and anyways we went to the mall with the annoying couple LMAO but we broke off and it was just... really nice to be with him?#and then we went to walmart and rented a movie and went back to my irl's apartment and i tried to dye his hair in her bathroom LMAO#and it just felt really natural to be close to him and whatnot. we really get along and i really don't dislike him and i'm not NOT into him#but yeah anyways a few days later he messaged me and asked if he could pick me up from work but i told him no because at that point i was.#afraid. because i had a dream that i had kissed hik and he turned into rick sanchez and drowned LMFAOOO IT SOUNDS RETARDED BUT.#like i think the point of the dream was that if i showed him that i had some kind of feelings for him he would change or die or disappear?#i always assume the worst. but yeah the dream literally put me off so bad that i cut contact with him for almost 2 years#because i was afraid of him and i was afraid of my life changing#idk. maybe i should give it a try now. i'm still scared but you never know.#i at least wanna say 'thanks' for him convincing me to message my friend from 6 years ago so 🤷‍♀️ who knows
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tittyinfinity · 1 year
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27 years old and my mom still yells at me for crying.
Her own words:
"I just don't understand why you have to cry about it every time something bad happens to you"
.....that's like....how human emotions work, mom....
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animalcuckllective · 5 months
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Sometimes I really do wish I was polyamorous again. Preferably with less drama but who knows maybe that just isn't possible
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possum-tooth · 1 year
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good morning gay people in my phone
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hauntedpearl · 1 year
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the thing is! the thing is!! i was twenty two when i stood in a hospital trying to smile at a doctor (bc that's what you're supposed to do when you talk to anyone!! you smile at them!!) when he told me my dad was like. as good as dead. and he didn't die!!! he didn't!!! and i was very lucky i know because i was not too young!! but!! but!!! things like that don't leave you. you will be forty five and still remember the time someone told you that your father was dying. and the thing is!! all my friends are just used to me being happy and goofy and silly and i am!! i really am!! but that doesn't mean i did not experience sadness or that i was just always brave. i stood there in that hospital room with a smile frozen on my face and all i remember is thinking this isn't real. i couldn't cry because it did not make sense. my mother would not stop crying because it was too real for her. and three months later it was her in the hospital room and me outside and the word cancer everywhere. like these are things you don't come back from i think and it's okay that i still stop in my tracks because of them.
anyway. idk. i think everyone grows up to accept things like this. eventually your invincible superhero parents become people and then become old people and then you're like oh, they're going to leave me one day. i just got there sooner than most. but it hurts because it feels like no one never understands. and i never event talk about it with people it's just on my mind all the time. but if, god forbid ON THEIR PROMPTING, i bring it up, it's all quiet all of a sudden like I've said something awful. like it was awful what do you want me to do lie? parts of life ARE awful. it's just. how it is. you deal with it. you move on. you try to grow. you'll find a thing to love if you're lucky. some day there will be more joy than you'll know what to do with and you'll miss everything Before but you'll still love this After like. that's just how it is. I don't know. why is it so hard to comprehend that these two things coexist in everyone, but also me. like am i only paletable if I'm not real?
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flowered-mp3 · 1 year
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y'all i'm exhausted but like... happy and so emotionally overwhelmed :')
#i met my bf's dad. my bf's cousin and gf#and my bf's best friend#all in a single day. i'm absolutely exhausted and drained but happy at the same time :)#they were all so welcoming#his dad is pretty quiet but his mom seemed to like me alot. she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek before i left his house :')#and my bf said that that's the first time that she's ever done that to any of his gf's so far :')#plus his cousin's gf said that i'm good for him (my bf)#and that the only thing that he has to be careful about is to not try all of the fancy dancer shit that i do because she's worried that#he'll break himself lmfaooooo#and my bf said that his best friend seems to like me as well#and that he's happy that i was laughing with his best friend#and he's happy that i had a really long conversation with his mom and his cousin's gf :)#and then when he was driving back to my house#he said thank you to me. for being so open to trying new things/meeting everyone and he sounded so sincere and sweet and appreciative...#i said that he doesn't need to thank me because i'm doing my due diligence as his gf and that since they're all really important to him#they're important to me as well. i really mean that and i think that he took it well.#idk i'm just so overwhelmed with emotion that i just started tearing up in his car. i can't believe that this is my life :')#i'm just glad that his closest family and friends seem to like me and that we get along well :')#now he has to meet my friends and sit down for dinner with my family lol#now THAT'S going to be the challenge lol#e.txt
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tiredsadpeach · 2 years
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Hahaha
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