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namixart · 11 months

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Stay?

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“Stay,�� she repeated. “With me. Please?”

Cloud fidgeted with his hands, grateful for the fact that she wasn’t looking at him. “Until you fall asleep?”

Aerith slowly shook her head. “Don’t wanna be alone. Please?” There was a tinge of sadness in her voice, and it struck Cloud right in the heart.

Aerith was only ever truly quiet when she was asleep.

Any other time, she was always chattering, or humming to herself, or talking to flowers—but she was never completely silent unless she was sleeping. That wasn’t to say she was always cheerful and excited—Cloud had noticed as much back during that first day they’d spent together—but she liked to mask the times that she wasn’t cheerful and excited with more chatter. Once or twice, when she’d thought no one was listening, Cloud had seen her take a deep sigh and mutter something under her breath, as if whatever was bothering her was lodged in her lungs and needed to be left out, even if no one heard it.

So, when the chatter or the humming or the talking stopped, it meant that Aerith was asleep.

“Wouldja look at that,” said Barret, nodding towards her armchair in front of the fireplace at the Chocobo Ranch.

Following his nod, Cloud found Aerith curled up in the chair, with her arms tucked under her head as a pillow.

Tifa winced. “That can’t be comfortable. She’s gonna feel it tomorrow.”

“I’ll take her to bed,” said Cloud, shrugging. “Was gonna turn in too, anyway.”

“Suit yourself,” said Barret, waving. “See you tomorrow.”

Cloud just grunted in acknowledgement as he knelt in front of Aerith’s armchair. Delicately, he hooked one arm under her legs and braced the other behind her back, then gently lifted her up. She was light, but Cloud still felt his knees buckle when she tucked her head into the crook of his neck in her sleep.

He cleared his throat and readjusted his grip on her. “Right,” he said. “G’night.” His farewell bounced and echoed around the group as he started making his way towards the stairs.

The first-floor hallway was dark and quiet. Chocobo Bill and his family stayed in a farmhouse on the other side of the ranch, so Cloud and his companions had the visitors’ hall all to themselves. The rooms were small and almost bare, but they had real beds and no one had to share with anyone else. Cloud nudged open the door to Aerith’s room with his foot and slowly shuffled inside.

He gently laid her down on her bed, where she sank into the cushions with a satisfied sigh. Cloud smiled a bit. He went to close her curtains and then, as he came back around the bed, he paused to slip off her boots and set them down beside the nightstand.

He hummed. She looked so peaceful in the dim moonlight filtering through the curtains. Cloud yawned. Time for him to go too.

But as he turned around, a soft moan made him pause. “Mmm… Cloud?” mumbled Aerith, nuzzling her face into the pillow.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered, coming just a bit closer to her. “Go back to sleep.”

Aerith hummed. She went quiet for a moment, and Cloud made to leave again.

“Stay?”

He froze.

Aerith still had her eyes closed and a hand draped over her face, but the other one was lazily outstretched towards Cloud, as if she thought he was much closer and she wanted to touch him.

“What?” he asked quietly.

“Stay,” she repeated. “With me. Please?”

Cloud fidgeted with his hands, grateful for the fact that she wasn’t looking at him. “Until you fall asleep?”

Aerith slowly shook her head. “Don’t wanna be alone. Please?” There was a tinge of sadness in her voice, and it struck Cloud right in the heart.

Without really registering what he was doing, he closed the door behind him and came closer to her. He knelt down by the bed, and Aerith’s wandering hand found his arm, then lightly sneaked along his shoulder and neck until it was cupping his cheek. Cloud sucked in a sharp breath and covered it with his own. “Were you having a nightmare?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head again and finally opened her eyes just a little, letting her hand fall. There was a crease of worry between her brows. “Jus’… Will you stay? Please? Just this once.”

He let a long, excruciating beat of silence pass. “Okay,” he said then. Whatever was bothering her, if he could make it better by being there, he would.

As quietly as he could, he took off his boots and the metal bits of his uniform and set them to the side. Then, he took a deep breath and walked back to Aerith. She smiled and reached out to take his hand again. Shuffling to the side to make room for him, she pulled him down, and Cloud awkwardly climbed beside her.

Once he was lying down, he stiffened. The bed really was small. But Aerith pulled the thin blanket over the both of them and draped a hand over Cloud’s middle, curling up into his chest. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Cloud swallowed a knot in his throat. “Sure,” he breathed, hesitantly returning the half hug. “Good night, Aerith.”

But there was no answer. Aerith had fallen back asleep. Cloud briefly contemplated sneaking away and returning to his room. After all, he wasn’t sure she’d ever fully woken up, and she might be upset to find him there when she actually did. He looked down at her. The crease of worry was gone, replaced by a serene expression. Her lips were upturned so slightly that he thought maybe it was just the way her face naturally relaxed. He bit back a smile of his own. Of course Aerith would have a resting smiling face.

Her arm was wrapped around his waist and her head was on his chest. There was no way he could move without disturbing her sleep. Fine, he thought, letting his body relax a little more into the mattress and pillow. Just this once.

Cloud sighed, and let her warmth and soft breathing lull him to sleep, as he took in the sweet flowery scent that seemed to always follow her.

*****

When Cloud woke up, it wasn’t in the morning. He blinked awake feeling cold and spotted the moonlight still filtering through the curtains. It spilled over Aerith’s body, still lying in front of him but now turned away, curled with her back to him. The light made her look ethereal, like an intangible apparition that would fade at dawn. But the mattress dipped under her weight, warmth radiated off her skin, and her hair smelled of flowers and tickled Cloud’s nose. She was real, and alive, and there.

Her side rose and fell rhythmically, but every inhale felt like a held breath and every exhale like a sigh. She was stiff, rigid in her shoulders and hips. She was awake, and she was tense.

“Aerith?” he called quietly. “What’s wrong?”

She stilled completely, and went silent. Then, with a sigh, she said, “Nothing. I’m sorry.”

Cloud blinked away the last remnants of sleep, but didn’t move. “About what?”

“Waking you up,” she said too quickly. “And… about earlier.”

“What about earlier?” he asked.

Her side quaked slightly in a mirthless chuckle. “Must’ve sounded pretty pathetic, huh?”

He shook his head even though she wasn’t looking at him. “I didn’t think that. I don’t mind.”

“But it was. ‘Oh, please, Cloud, I don’t wanna be alone! I’m scared of the dark, please hold my hand.’” She scoffed a bit. “See? Pathetic.”

“You’re scared of the dark?” asked Cloud, furrowing his brows. She inhaled sharply. “I didn’t know that.”

Aerith shrugged. “Yes, well. It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly.” He wanted to reach out and take her shoulder, her hand, turn her around and take her face. He wanted to comfort her. But he didn’t move. “I wanna help.”

She didn’t say anything for a long time. “…Why?” she asked then, quietly.

Cloud blinked twice. “Because you’re—Because I…” He shook his head. “Because I can. And I want to.”

Aerith giggled lightly and turned around to face him. She had a strange expression on her face. Sad, amused, and confused all at once. “I thought you weren’t like some people who help out for fun.”

He shrugged. “This isn’t for fun. It’s to make you feel better.” He felt his ears heat up. With any luck, she wouldn’t notice in the darkness.

She went quiet. Her mouth was drawn into a slight frown, and her eyes were downcast and almost hidden by her bangs. Without thinking, Cloud reached out and gently moved her hair out of her eyes, and she gasped a bit.

Cloud retracted his hand as if he’d been burned. “I’m—”

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I really am.”

He furrowed his brows. “I told you. It’s not—”

“Not that.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.”

He frowned. “I don’t mind.”

She laughed mirthlessly. “And that’s the problem. I’m sorry,” she repeated, grimacing. “I’m being weird. And unfair.”

Cloud bit his lip. “If you want me to go, I will. Do you?”

“Yes. No. Yes? Ugh,” she groaned, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t know. This is… This isn’t what I wanted.”

“What did you want?” asked Cloud, gently prying her hands away from her eyes. When she didn’t make a move to take them out of his, he held them tighter.

“An easier choice to make,” she said with a small, self-deprecating huff. “Sorry. Not making any sense, I know.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “Level with me,” he said quietly. “I’ve… been meaning to ask you, anyway.” But they hadn’t really gotten a moment alone since then. Until now. “Is this about what you said? The night Shinra took you?”

Her silence was all the answer he needed, and it stung.

“Right,” he said. “Sorry, you’re right. I should go.” He made to move. Suddenly the small room was claustrophobic rather than cosy, filled to the brim with disappointment, humiliation, and the sadness in Aerith’s eyes.

But she grabbed his hands before he could go anywhere. “No! No, wait, please.”

Cloud grimaced, but stayed put. “Aerith—”

She shook her head and loosened her grasp on his hands. “I know. I’m sorry. This is all so complicated.”

He nodded. “I could go ask Tifa if—”

“No, I—I don’t wanna bother her. And… it’s not that. It’s not that I’m scared. I could manage.” She didn’t meet his eyes.

“Then what?”

She sighed. “I just… don’t want you to go. God, that’s so selfish.” Aerith squeezed her eyes shut and grimaced.

Cloud took a deep breath. “That’s really unfair,” he said quietly. “You keep pushing me away but then you don’t want me to leave.”

She nodded, still without looking at him. “I know, I’m—”

“But you’re not a selfish person,” he continued. “So, what’s with the mixed signals?”

Aerith attempted a half smile. “I have commitment issues,” she said. “I’m just a flirt who’s never serious about anything, least of all feelings.”

Cloud huffed. “Try again.”

She giggled quietly, then her face fell. “I keep hurting you. It’s the last thing I wanted to do. I wanna keep you safe, but I don’t wanna lose you. It is selfish.”

“Keep me safe?” He furrowed his brows. “From what?”

She averted her gaze. “Everyone dies eventually, ‘member?”

Cloud pressed his lips together and held her hands tighter. “Yeah, and?” he asked, with more force in his voice than he’d meant.

“Don’t make me say it,” she said quietly.

“Then don’t,” he said, gently turning her face back towards his. “You can’t be afraid to live because you might die someday.”

Aerith shook her head with a hollow laugh. “Cloud, what do you want me to say?”

He scoffed. “I want you to tell me what you want. From yourself, from your life, from me. Please, Aerith. Let me help, however I can.”

She didn’t say anything for a long time, nor did she meet his eyes. Her hair was in her face again, and Cloud reached out to brush it away. This time, Aerith caught his hand and held it against her face, sighing with her eyes closed.

Cloud hesitantly brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. He waited.

“I want to stop being scared,” she whispered then, grasping his hand tighter and opening her eyes. She sounded a little choked up. “I want to live, to beat Sephiroth, to be safe and happy with my friends and family.”

Cloud nodded and hummed quietly.

“And…” she started. She bit her lip, looked down, then back at Cloud. “And… you. I want you.” As Cloud sucked in a sharp breath, she shook her head and let go of his hand. “But that’s selfish! I can’t do that to you. I can’t let your heart break when—”

“Aerith,” said Cloud, cupping her face again. “If you want me to not fall in love with you, you’re doing it wrong. Really wrong.”

She winced. “I’m—”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” he said, frowning. “I’m gonna kiss you now. That okay?”

She hesitated for a long, excruciating second. Then, slowly, she nodded, as if fighting against herself.

And Cloud froze. He hadn’t thought past that.

They stayed in that suspended moment, staring at each other and lying perfectly still, with their quiet breathing as the only proof they weren’t statues. Cloud swallowed a knot in his throat. He had to move. He had to do something. He’d asked to kiss her, she’d said yes, and now he had to do something about it.

Gingerly, he drew closer. He heard Aerith hold her breath, but then he swerved away from her parted lips to place a kiss to her forehead.

“We’re gonna be okay,” he murmured against her skin. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Aerith nodded shakily and balled her hands in the soft fabric of his shirt.

Cloud kissed her temple. “I don’t know what future you see, or what future we averted when we defeated the Whispers.” Her cheekbone. “But… I know I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe. To give you everything you want.” Her jaw. “You’ll stop being scared. You’ll live a long, happy life with everyone you love. And, um…” The corner of her mouth. “Me. I-If you want me, I’ll…” He never finished his thought, because he finally pressed his lips against her trembling ones, drinking in her small, surprised gasp as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Aerith returned the kiss hesitantly but not unwillingly. Gently, she brushed a hand through his hair, then rested it at the base of his neck as she pressed up into him. Cloud held her a bit closer before leaning away. He caught her eyes and she smiled a bit.

“Okay?” he asked, even though he wasn’t really sure what he was referring to.

“Okay,” she replied, as if she was. She snaked a hand around his waist and nuzzled closer into his chest. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he said, pressing one more kiss into her hair. “So… can I stay?” I’ll stay forever, if that’s what you want.

She giggled a bit. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Cloud hummed as they settled back into the cushions. Aerith brushed her lips against his collarbone and whispered something he couldn’t make out, but he didn’t ask her about it. They’d have time to talk about everything.

#final fantasy vii #clerith #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough #my writing #my fics #my stuff #hehe guess who impulse-wrote AND impulse-posted this in the same day?#THIS feral child who has been vibrating at a frequency high enough to shatter glass since the trailer dropped #so Remake Aerith Angst And Also Bedsharing be upon ye!

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