#.。.:*☆ ooc. keep dreaming into the future !
mrgmrm waiting turn to do presentation but head suddenly went yorki n brook </3
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anyway leon and the concept of love as an act of historical transcendence. good night
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My left arm for Ryo Akiyama to get to interact with the other Tamers and feel like a cohesive part of the group and not an outsider tacked on that no one, even the writers wanted to do anything with. He's been so alone in his narrative (with the forced amnesia, and the manipulations, and the running from his trauma) I want nothing more then for him to find a group of friends he can confide in and feel like he's apart of.
Digimon is in so many ways about being stronger together and bonds of friendship, and at every turn Ryo has been robbed of that even with his Digimon Partner. Ryo has had to rely on himself so much, where are the friends he can rely on instead??
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yandere tomas vrbada x reader hcs
warnings: stalking, tomas is kinda disgusting and creepy here, regular yandere tendencies, some implied nsfw but not smut
summary: hcs of yandere smoke x (gender neutral) reader
a/n: he’s yandere in this story he’s supposed to be ooc btw. usually i dislike when people make smoke submissive and stuff but i get it now. anyways this was fun to write :3 i love you all go drink some water
tomas could not get enough of you. just being in the same room as you makes his heart beat rapidly. your scent was addicting like a drug, you always looked breathtaking, and you also looked so cute while you slept!
in fact, one of tomas's favorite hobbies is watching you sleep. it's not creepy, because your window isn't locked! he's just inviting himself in. he loves grazing his fingers over your skin, your sweet delicate skin, and he almost feels as if it's sinful. as if he doesn't deserve to be in the same room as you. as if he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as you.
his heart jumps out his throat every time you speak to him. even the smallest conversations mean a lot to him, and he'll go to bed that night thinking about it, completely overthinking anything he said to you.
"hey tomas!" you greeted, walking by him.
"oh, uh, h-hey!" tomas stammered.
that's it. that was the whole conversation. and yet he went to sleep that night wanting to skin himself alive for stammering. he thought he was such a fool for not engaging enough with you. maybe if he spoke to you more, you'd pay more attention to him.
he needed your attention. he needed your validation.
even if it was negative. he just needed you to look at him.
if you looked at him in awe, he'd explode into a million pieces. if you looked at him with disgust, he'd have to excuse himself to take care of something in the nearest restroom.
tomas was also a bit of a.. hoarder. every object you have ever touched and left behind, he picked up and kept it. he tries not to pick those objects up with his bare hands, scared that he would ruin it.
that also means he sometimes takes some clothes of yours. only the ones you don't wear often, of course! he would never be an inconvenience to you and steal your favorites. he knows which are your favorites and which ones aren't.
tomas likes to sleep with your clothes right next to him. breathing in your scent as he falls asleep is a euphoric feeling to him. his heart shatters every time they lose your scent, but he keeps it anyway just because it used to belong to you. but no worries, he'll return it once you two are married!
he finds it very tempting to profess his love to you- but he knows you ultimately wouldn't accept his affections yet. he needs to wait. unfortunately, he is far too shy to even speak to you often.
sure, you both got along and you spoke at least once a day, but it wasn't enough for him. he needs to glue himself to your side in order to truly feel satisfied. for now he can handle just being in the same room once a day, but he dreams of someday being yours. someday he can be by your side. if you don't want him by your side and you only want him as a servant or something, he will gladly accept that too! whatever it takes to please you. he will follow you around like a lost puppy if he has to.
once you start dating and end up married, tomas would prefer that you didn't have a job, especially if it has to do with kombat. he would hate for you to constantly be around danger. besides, he can do all the work for you! he wants you to let him pamper you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. he can leave every morning and continue his work in the shirai ryu, then come home to you! that's his ideal future.
he knows he often puts himself in danger as well. he knows his job isn't easy, and he puts his life at risk every day. but you keep him going. the thought of your future with him keeps him going every day. it is his motivation to survive every battle he engages in.
tomas just loves you very much! he loves you so much it drives him crazy that he can't embrace you. but someday... someday he can. someday he will be able to touch you, love you, protect you. he can't wait for that day to come. for now, he is content with savoring your scent and touch everywhere you go, staring at you from afar, and yearning for your touch. but once he finally gains the courage to get closer to you and confess to you, you will be with him. you *will* be together.
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Me: man I always seem to give Tal the short end of the stick, maybe i should make him a little happier
Also me: angst can be traded for comeback serotonin after he gets through some hella bullshit
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hii, this is very specific but do you think you could write something involving fem!reader who grew up with sirius and they’re childhood best friends (but it’s only ever going to be platonic between them) and one day she transfers to hogwarts and immediately has a thing for james, however james doesn’t wanna make a move because he thinks her & sirius have some unspoken thing? <3
UNSPOKEN THINGS!
synopsis. growing up with sirius black was easy, but falling in love with his best friend was even easier. however, everything gets complicated — james keeps his distance, overthinking your relationship with sirius.
notes. i wouldn’t lie if i said i didn’t like that request, because i LOVE IT!!!! THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING SM?? obv. james potter x fem!reader. maybe ooc james. gonna make a part 2!
all the good things that had taken place during your childhood had always happened with sirius black by your side. having him next to you was like a pearl you’d never trade for anything. sneaking out at night as children to spend a little more time with each other, pulling small pranks on your siblings, and having a companion for every banquet was something priceless.
you wished that your friendship would survive the sudden shift, caused by your mother’s dream to come back to her roots in southern france, and who was your father to disobey the love of his life? so, he barely turned eleven, when you bid goodbyes, gave him your future address, and hoped he’d write.
since sirius black has always been a man of his words, he did not disappointed you with the amount of letters he’d sent you. some may think that it slowly died down, when you got to school, although it just intensified. you were certain that he told you at least the majority of his stories, confiding in that he was head over heels with remus, his schoolmate.
telling him you were coming back to england was definitely the letter you were delighted to write. seeing him after those years was magical — almost miraculous. unfortunately, something got delayed and you got to london the same day you’d leave for hogwarts.
“sirius!” a laughter left your mouth as soon as you noticed the black-haired boy, standing next to a group of teenagers. before sirius even realized, you threw your arms around his neck, clutching him in a tight hug.
“you’re finally here!” he shouted, lifting you few inches off the ground with a smile, earning a lot of confused looks from all his friends. “couldn’t get any later, could you?” the boy rolled eyes at you, turning his head to face the confused group. “this is y/n, my first best friend.” with that, his arm was thrown around your shoulder, squeezing you a little.
before any of them spoke out, you got at least two seconds to look at them, memorizing their distinguished features, which could help you recognize them later. the boy standing the closest to you, who, you guessed, was james — the only one beside remus that sirius actually put a thought into writing about.
“nice to meet you.” he was first to greet you, embracing you in a short hug, something in his cologne almost made you lightheaded, his scent staying in your mind till falling asleep that night. “sirius couldn’t stop talking about you, always blah blah blah.”
“shut up, could you?” sirius retorted, pulling you away from the potter boy.
few hours later, you were trying to settle in your new dorm, when you heard a knock on the door. “hey.” a head peaked inside before you even got to open them. “am not interrupting something, am i?” potter asked, smile rosing on his lips as he walked in.
“noo, just trying to make this place more like mine, you know?” you smiled back, putting down a few frames with photos of you and your friends back in beauxbatons. “while you’re here, could you help me with putting books on the shelves?” curly-haired boy nodded his head eagerly, before taking a pile of books to put them where you wanted.
it was almost perfect — he was about to put the last one in its place, but something was wrong, and the book fell down, and hit him right in the nose, causing a nosebleed. “shit!” he groaned, immediately grabbing the hem of his shirt, using it like a tissue.
“merde, james i’m so sorry.” you mumbled, embarrassed. the towel quickly found its way to your hand, putting it close to his nose gently. “i’ll try to be as gentle as i can, i promise.” you whispered.
the distance between you was intimidating. his eyes focused on your faces as you carefully tried to stop the bleeding, your cheeks getting warmer with each second his sight was on you. “i’m a man made of steel, it’s fine.” he chuckled, eyes squinting right afterwards.
“i can see that.” you laughed softly, pulling the fabric away, seeing that the bleeding stopped. “don’t worry, you’re still the pretty boy you were before you got here.” blush creeped onto his cheeks upon hearing your comment.
and you stayed like that until sirius stepped into the room without knocking, catching the two of you barely inches away from each other, talking in hushed voices about something insignificant. music you like, movies you want to watch, fun summer stories and anything that found its way to your tounges.
the next few weeks were horrible, having yourself busy with all the workload you got, revising all the things you weren’t taught at your previous school, but they were compulsory at hogwarts. maybe if a certain curly-haired boy wasn’t on your mind 24/7, it’d be easier to study.
“y/n, good to see you!” marlene smiled, grabbing your arm as you were walking back to the common room after the study session you had at the library. “ready for the party?” she asked, grinning widely.
the question had taken you off guard — there was supposed to be a party and you were supposed to be ready by then? to be honest, the amount of time you put into studying, made you so exhausted you were barely standing on your own. on the other hand, the raging urge to impress sirius’ friends (specifically james) was unstoppable, and refusing the party was the last thing on your priority list.
“i’ll be in thirty minutes.” quickly, you matched her smile, stepping into the already crowded gryffindor common room, only to find sirius on the coffee table with james. “guys, this is my best friend, y/n! the party is for her!” your best friend shouted to the people, earning a few laughs and claps.
you laughed along the people, catching a brief glance of james, locking eyes with him for a little too long until he looked away, cheeks tinted pinkish. “geez, pads. let the poor girl change…?” mckinnon shook her head, pulling you away from black.
“so…” she beamed, closing the door behind her. “what’s going on with you and james?” she asked with ease, making herself comfortable on your bed, watching your inept attempts to hide how easy it was for james to make you lit up.
“nothing.” you shrugged. “geez, i feel bad for saying this since he’s sirius’ other best friend, but sometimes i really wish there was something going on. you know, he’s kind, funny, and cute.” a sigh escaped from between your lips as you looked through all the cute dresses your older sister made you buy last summer in italy.
“that’s what i thought.” she giggled, picking up makeup accessories. “well, from the way he looks at you, he seems to think you’re cute too.” she made a pause. “or he’s jealous of you, and doesn’t want to lose sirius.”
upon hearing that you decided to tell the blonde girl about those few evenings, when he just happened to be walking past your dorm and stayed with you for the whole night. “then he’s definitely interested in you.” marlene gasped, immediately jumping onto the spot next to you, grabbing the fitted, silky, red dress. “we’re gonna make him make a move. i swear, this boy won’t be able to stop himself.”
twenty-five minutes later, when you were already done with shower and trying to convince marlene to let you do make up on your own (which didn’t work out and she wanted to do it herself), you were sitting in front of the girl, legs crossed as she did the perfect line on your eyelid, once in a while stealing a glance of your bra.
“think about me if things are shitty with potter, yeah?” her smile made you roll eyes jokingly. “okayy, let’s take a quick pic of the masterpiece and go.” she quickly grabbed the camera from a shelf, snapped a picture of you, and her in the mirror, and left the room shortly after.
you remember the look james gave you, when he finally noticed you came back. he didn’t know if it was just him, but you looked like you could compete with world-level models. seeing you like that caused his heart to do a flip. just when he was about to walk up to you, sirius found his place somewhere next to you, close enough to sent james a signal to back off.
potter instantly assumed that there had to be something between the two of you, mostly by how touchy sirius would become whenever you were around, having his arm thrown around your shoulders or always somehow embracing your waist. and stealing his best friend’s girlfriend was the last thing he ever wanted to do, even if he felt he clicked with you.
as soon as sirius handed you the red cup filled with a liquid you assumed was alcohol, you let yourself forget about the whole thing with james. chugging down the cup as fast as you only could, trying to win the little competition with the black boy.
few hours later, when the entire party began to die down, james was trying to get to his dorm, completely sober, but then he noticed you sitting on the stairs, your knees and palms covered in blood. “shit.” he mumbled under his breath, debating in his mind if he should just walk the other way around or help you, and…
“what… happened?” he sat beside you, his stomach doing few more flips, seeing how your face lightened up at the sound of his voice. “y/n could you talk to me?”
“i fell down the stairs.” you grimaced, head leaned against his shoulder. “one of the seventh years suggested i should go to my own room, but i couldn’t move, ‘cos it hurts.” the grimace was replaced by a pout.
a sigh left his mouth as he picked you up, without saying a word — he believed it’d be easier to help you, and immediately leave than if he’d started a conversation with you. the whole walk to your dorm was silent, none of you hadn’t even let out a whimper until you were seated on your bed, while james tried to take proper care of your scrapped knees.
“are you mad at me?” you whispered softly, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. the sadness in your tone made his heart clutch. “why aren’t you speaking then? we hardly even talked today.” you added, when he just shook his head.
“i don’t want to do something, both of us might regret later.” his reply was strange, did he really think you’d regret anything that includes him in any way?
after that, the room remained silent — wordlessly, james handed you clothes that seemed like a good pyjamas material and turned away while you shamelessly changed. “can you stay with me?” you asked, stopping him in his tracks.
“of course.”
he laid down beside you, his eyes focused on the ceiling above. “have you ever thought how would your life looked like if you stayed in england?” the question left his mouth swiftly. “or if you never got back, do you think you’d fall out of touch with sirius?”
“there’s always a possibility that could happen, but i don’t think so, you know.” you answered, shifting on the mattress to see that he was already looking at you. “however, there were times when i thought he would throw away all those years of friendship.”
his curious gaze made you continue. “two years ago, he told me all about his plans with you. that you’d live together, far enough from his parents to not be threatened by them, but close enough to visit your parents every weekend. it sounds funny now, but all those plans — the apartment somewhere in the southern london, traveling and other stuff were exactly what we’d planned before i was forced to leave. that’s the only letter from sirius i didn’t keep. i couldn’t, it was a sign that the friendship wouldn’t last forever, so i burned it.” you shrugged, laying the fluffy blanket on top of your bodies. “i really wanted to hate you for this all those years, you know? but you seemed too fun to do so, coming here just made me more certain.” that was the first time in the whole evening that you’ve heard him laugh, feeling as if his normal self was coming back to you.
“look where we ended up.” the smile on his face was contagious. you beamed, laughing. you were so jealous of james two years earlier, and now you didn’t want him to leave the warm sheets of your bed. his face was getting so close to yours, you let yourself think he wanted to kiss you for a moment. maybe it was just the intoxication? “i don’t know where this might go, so i’m gonna say it know. i want us to stay on friends basis, please.”
and with those words it was your time to turn silent, acting sleepy to make him think you were about to drift off to sleep. “don’t worry, that’s what i wanted too.” you muttered with your eyes closed.
from that moment on, you hardly even spent time with james anymore, always finding an excuse to bail out if someone even suggested that you should hangout with them. the way you two acted was growing suspicious, and who would remus be if he didn’t notice?
“you’re sulking.” lupin retorted, when it was only james and he in their dorm, both pretending to not paying attention to one another. “care to elaborate? it’s been a month since you got so grumpy.”
“you won’t tell sirius?” potter tilted his head to the side, putting away the magazine he was reading and looked directly at his friend, who shook his head. “it’s about y/n.”
“so? you seemed to get along well when she got here.” remus frowned. “i mean-, you’re right, but then there was the party in october and uh, we almost kissed. i wanted to kiss her, but i quite panicked.” the seeker explained, making the werewolf to deepen his frown. “james, i swear to god what have you done?”
but remus already know. marlene had told him a few days after the party that the two lovebirds were drifting away, and prongs was definitely the reason of the sudden change in their dynamics. until now, he was just looking for a chance to speak with him about it.
“i said i wanted to keep it on friends basis, she rarely talks to me ever since.” he sighed, turning down the volume of the radio. “i really wanted to keep talking to her without breaking sirius’ heart if something between us happened.”
“wait.” the frown was now an unchanging part of remus’ face. “why do you think you’d possibly break pads’ heart if you started dating y/n?” lupin shifted on his bed, yet to connect all the dots.
james grimaced at the thought of his response, wasn’t it obvious? “well, it’s against the brocode to steal someone’s girlfriend, isn’t it?” upon hearing that, remus choked on water, confusing his friend even more.
“prongs.” the blonde boy laughed, making his way towards the other boy. “i believe that if you started dating y/n, sirius would be far from heartbroken, and he wouldn’t consider you a girlfriend thief.” another bursts of laughter escaped from between lupin’s lips as he clutched his stomach. “if you’d like to break his heart, you’d have to steal someone else, not a girl he considers a sister.”
all remus regretted that moment was that he left his camera at lily’s, so he was unable to capture the funniest expression on james’ face, he has ever seen. “you should really talk to her, to at least explain yourself.” he squeezed his friend’s knee in reassurance, before james stood up. “i’d look for her in marl’s dorm, if i were you.” he hinted, disappearing behind bathroom’s doors.
you sat on marlene’s bed with dorcas right next to you, her arm thrown around your shoulder as you drunk the wine, she bought specifically for that evening. it happened to be the day, when girls had their weekly girls’ night, so mckinnon thought you should tagged along.
the knocking on the door interrupted lily’s story about remus and hers trip to edinburgh last summer, and the one hot girl she met back then. “hey, is y/n there?” james’ voice rang loudly in the room, giving you shivers. you couldn’t have a day without thinking of him, could you?
marlene flashed you a look, before looking back at him. “i don’t know, do you think she’d like to talk to you?” she crossed arms at her chest, watching the rosing confusion on his face, before you appeared in the view, ruining the whole scary girl gig. “we’ll be right here, love.” she nudged you lightly as you walked out of the room, closing the door behind you.
“heard you were looking for me…?” you asked, muscles stiff at the thought of being one on one with him. “can we do it quickly? my wine’s bottle is probably emptied by dorcas now.” you chuckled, trying to sound as calm as you only could.
“i don’t want to be friends anymore.” his confession made your heart twitch. the alcohol running in your veins almost made you vulnerable in front of him. the sigh that left your mouth was his signal to realize you misunderstood him. “you really came up here to tell me that?”
it was getting pretty bad, and james knew, there was one thing he could do that wouldn’t mess up what he wanted to tell you. hands flew to your cheeks, cupping them with his palms as leaned in to kiss you. it was definitely unexpected — but you couldn’t resist him, the thing you’ve wanted so bad, finally came true. james’ lips on yours.
he took his time before pulling away, and when he did, you were reminded that there was world beside him. all the misery you were in was long gone, just by seeing the smile on his face. “i’m sorry.” the seeker began, his eyes tracing around your face but not stopping on your eyes once. “i misinterpreted the relationship between you and padfoot, and it got all messy in my head. i thought you two were… you know, a thing.”
a quiet chuckle escaped from between your lips, caressing his cheek gently with a thumb, involuntarily smiling at his vivid embarrassment. “james,” you spoke out softly, amusement still audible in your tone. “hypothetically, if sirius and i were a thing, would i really invite you to spend time in my room, one on one, always suggesting that you should stay overnight? you, my hypothetical boyfriend’s best friend?”
“well, i haven’t thought about it.” he shrugged, smile tugging on his face. “nonetheless, i’m taking you on a date, but don’t tell sirius. i’m sure he’s going to kill me for hitting up on you.” james scoffed, hair getring ruffled by his fingers.
“when did i agree on going on a date with you?” you asked, biting back a smile, at the same time trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. “don’t worry, i’ve never told on a cute boy before.”
he opened his mouth to reply, but marlene opened the door and snatched you inside, before you could even react, her action earning a few laughs in response. “excuse me, lover boy, but the time is up!” the blonde laughed, visibly tipsy, and disappeared behind the door.
now, james potter had two things to do — figure out where should he take you out, and how to tell his best friend that he wants to date his childhood best friend.
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♡ Dating Aemond Targaryen Headcanons:
❝ I would not blind you. I plan to make a gift of it to my mother.❝
[SFW + No Gendered Terms]
A/N: Honestly not shocked Aemond was voted high for headcanons lmao. I will say he was a bit tougher simply because he doesn't have many lines/screentime to base him on so it might be a bit OOC!!
⚔︎ Aemond's interest is something that would keep hidden to himself for a good while. He isn't one to want to show emotions especially ones that he could consider a weakness.
⚔︎ His interest in the beginning can be only seen through his silent watchful gaze across the hall toward you. It's piercing and intense that Aemond might not realize that it seems more threatening than affectionate honestly.
⚔︎ If you happened to find out, it's because one of his siblings found out first. Both of them CANNOT keep a secret for their LIFE and would embarrass him with (semi)good intentions.
⚔︎ If it's Aegon that found out, he found out because he recognizes such a stare from himself. He would immediately (probably drunkenly) approach you and try to wingman by asking you a slew of questions to get to know you then drop Aemond's name around the conversation.
⚔︎ "An interest in books? Eh. Not for me personally, my lady, but I can assure you that my brother cannot pull his head out of one."
⚔︎ If it's Helaena that found out, it's because Aemond told her in the hopes for advice and explicitly told her to keep it a secret. Cue her telling you the moment she next saw you casually.
⚔︎ "Aemond? Oh! He told me of how he dreams of you through the night, you know!”
⚔︎ ^ Sweet girl thought this wasn’t a big deal because she dreams vividly about people all the time.
⚔︎ Once the secret's out, he has no choice but to approach you. He keeps his head high and looks to you with the same intent stare. His voice is low as he confirms what has been said about him.
⚔︎ At the beginning, he is hesitant to initiate any affection. Due to his previous experiences with women at the hands of Aegon, he finds it difficult and becomes reclusive.
⚔︎ He'll mainly take you for walks and read beside you but keep quiet. He more so waits for you to initiate conversation and watches you.
⚔︎ He may seem annoyed or irritated but that's just his resting face. Everything you say is ingrained into his mind and whatever you express interest or like of is immediately logged for future reference.
⚔︎ Once physical contact is more accepted, he tries it more in a gentleman-like manner. Kissing the back of your hand each time you meet, offering his arm when you two walk together and more.
⚔︎ His favorite is admiring your face while his hand holds your cheek. It's almost as though he's trying to memorize each part like it was artwork.
⚔︎ He tries his best to impress you when possible. Aemond wants to prove himself to you and prove he's worthy of your affections.
⚔︎ Whether this be with his knowledge of history and philosophy, sparring, or some other skill of his, he wants to prove he is worth any of your attention.
⚔︎ Absolutely caters to you especially in public settings or events. Too overwhelmed? He’s guiding you out of the room to calm down. Someone is getting too pushy? He’s ready to defend you in a moment’s notice. Feeling ignored? His attention fully turns to you to entertain your conversations.
⚔︎ Aemond is also one to fully understand your boundaries to keep you comfortable. He would never want to push too far considering his own past regarding being pushed like that. Any requests you make of him will be fully honored by him.
⚔︎ Aemond does have quite the soft spot for you and strictly for you. Once comfortable with you, he can’t help but melt when you’re excited about something. He’d be studying his book for the day and once you come in with a newly-designed outfit, twirling around happily to show it off to him, he slowly breaks out into a warm smile and sets his book aside to give you his full loving gaze.
⚔︎ Aemond’s Main Love Languages to give are: Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.
⚔︎ Aemond enjoys having your presence around him, finding it to be calming. At dinners, he sits right beside you and defaults to looking over at you to feel comfortable. Knowing you’re by his side soothes him.
⚔︎ He’ll also try and teach you any little thing about his personal interests just because he likes to share with you. This is even better if you also know about the subject matter! He gets very excited at the prospect of someone as knowledgeable as he is!
⚔︎ Aemond likes to give you daily reminders of how much he simply adores you. In fact, each time you two are getting ready in the morning, Aemond walks up behind you, wrapping his arms around you and telling you how stunning you look.
⚔︎ Aemond will make it his internal mission to ensure you never feel unloved or unappreciative. And if you have any insecurities? He’s spending every moment reminding you that you’re precious in every sense of the word.
⚔︎ “Darling, surely you are not here sulking when you are the perfect definition of beauty itself? I feel as though *I* am the one unworthy of being in your presence with such perfection.”
⚔︎ Aemond���s Favorite Love Languages to receive are: Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation.
⚔︎ Both of these play a part in soothing his insecurities imo.
⚔︎ Obviously, while he feels losing his eye was worth the prize he claimed, it nevertheless makes him feel odd because he knows people are staring at him for it.
⚔︎ He wouldn’t wish to scare you with what his eye looks like which is why he covers it. But showing his scarred eye love and appreciation with gentle touches and kisses as well as endless praise, he’s looking up at you with sparkling puppy dog eyes.
⚔︎ “You truly believe… I am worthy of such affections? …Are you sure?”
⚔︎ While Aemond can maintain his stoicism in public settings, in private, he can’t help but want your gentle touch and complimentary words. It becomes a craving of whenever you’re in his presence.
⚔︎ This craving can cause him to unintentionally grow possessive and overprotective. He sees himself as your personal protector and he would rather die than fail to protect you in any manner.
⚔︎ Aemond may shoot threatening glares or bluntly insult other people if he feels they grow too “familiar” with you. Aegon would tease him for looming over you all the time which Aemond will insist is for your protection. (You were just walking to the privy.)
⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐲
Summary: When your slight gift of prophesy shows you an ugly future you’re faced with an impossible choice;kill the man you love or watch your world burn. Which will you choose?
Pairing: Luke Castellan x Apollo!Reader (gn! I think)
W/C: 3.12k
Genre: Fluff + Angst
Warnings: blood? A little violence✨ Luke might be ooc. Lack of capitalization.
A/N: HI EVERYONE! Welcome to my debut fic! I hope you all like it! Please lmk your thoughts if you don’t mind! I’d love to know how I did🫶
As a child of Apollo you’d been both blessed,and cursed, with the gift to see a few minutes,hours,days or weeks into a person’s future just by touching them .you never knew which it was,just that it was their future. And from an early age,you'd learned to keep it a secret from your peers,claiming that you knew the questions on the pop quiz only because you'd done them on some quiz website and such. But the moment you'd come to Camp Half Blood and been claimed by the God of prophecy himself,it’d been harder to conceal your ability.Especially when the futures you'd seen weren’t particularly pleasant. There’d been multiple occasions where you’d bump shoulders with an unsuspecting ares kid only to see yourself and your team getting your asses absolutely hands to you in capture the flag.But Luckily you hadn’t seen anything life threatening yet.No deaths,No fatal injuries.Just Little (not so) Fun Facts About The Future.
But all your secret keeping had come to an end the moment you'd met Luke Castellan. Both you and the brown (blue) eyed son of Hermes had come to camp at around the same time and while spending time in the Hermes cabin,waiting to be claimed,you’d forged a strong friendship.Both you and he had come from similar backgrounds,what with your mother being a raging alchoholic and his being schizophrenic. You bonded over the experiences of having an unreliable parental figure and having to raise youselves.However the way in which your stories diverged was that while he ran away from home,you’d been kicked out for being a ‘leach on your mother’s resources’ you’d gladly left and although you struggled to survive alone,you had found your way to Camp with the help of a satyr who also became your close friend.
The day you’d been claimed was both the worst and best day of your life,You’d hit a bullseye on a moving target on your first try during archery practice and Luke has pointed to the glowing lyre floating above your head.The other kids of the Apollo cabin who’d been close enough to witness the event ran over to hug you and welcome you to your,rather extensive,family.You’d Moved your things the very same night and while you now spent a little more time with your half-siblings,you and Luke still spent your free time together,you shared your dreams and aspirations witrh each other,his being to go on a quest to prove himself to his father,Hermes, and yours being to be a world class archer.As weeks became months and months became years,the two of you grew closer and closer.
He eventually confessed to you after you’d just beaten him in one of your sparring sessions. At first you thought he was joking,but the longer you watched the look of slight hope in his eyes,you knew it wasn’t in fact a joke.You dropped your sword and helped him up,all the while watching as he seemed to deflate at the fact that you’d blatantly ignored his confession.You turned to leave and just when Luke has started making his way after you,you tackled him to the ground and kissed him saying, “look ya long enough scar”
you’d started calling him by that particular nickname after you’d both watched the lion king 2 together. You had remarked how you found kovu’s scar kinda hot. At the time he’d asked you if you found him hot for his scar and you merely shrugged it off,hitting him with the remote and it’d just become a sort of an inside joke. But you were the only one he ever let bring up the little trophy he’d earned on his quest,anyone else who even tried to comment on his scar only ever got a glare,which said enough about how he felt about it.
After you accepted his confession the two of you basically became the power couple of the camp,the best swordsman and the best archer,a deadly combo on the field and an adorable couple on the daily.
But the day a kid called percy Jackson had come to camp,you’d begun to see a subtle change in Luke’s behavior. Sure,to the untrained and unassuming eye,he seemed to be himself,just plain ‘ol friendly Hermes cabin counsellor Luke Castellan.But you noticed how he seemed to be just a little more jumpy,a little…scared? You were worried to say the least,but you didn’t really say anything.Your mind went to your ability…could you use it to see what was bothered him? “no…seeing his future probably wont tell me jack…” you’d told yourself while sitting in your usual spot under a tree near the strawberry fields.You were re-reading your copy of the odyssey,a present from Luke for your 1 year anniversary,how he’d gotten it,well you didn’t need to know. As you waited for him,the seconds turned to minutes and the sun had begun to set.Tonight was capture the flag and you figured he was just telling the new kid how it was all going to go down. So, closing your book you walked back to your cabin to get ready.
After you were fully decked out in your armor,you headed down to the pavilion and took your place beside Luke,ruffling Annabeth’s hair and saying hello to Percy in the process.Luke bent down to give you a kiss on the cheek,causing you to turn a slight shade of red, before placing his arm around your waist and pulling you closer. Thank the gods the Apollo and Hermes cabins had allied themselves with eachother this time,you hated having to fight against Luke although that didn’t mean you held back when you found him to be your opponent. As Chiron was explaining the rules you looked over to Percy, he looked a little nervous and you reassured him that he might not get that badly hurt,though you could make no promises. The game started and you and Luke took off in the direction of what you thought was the Ares flag. You wove through the forest,trying not to make a sound. And when you finally found the flag you silently disarmed the flag bearer using an arrow while Luke rushed in to grab the flag.You hi-fived eachother and sprinted back in the direction of friendly territory. As you followed luke,you were suddenly tackled by a burly Hephaestus kid.Luke turned to defend you but you stopped him. “GO! I’ll be fine!” He hesitated but nodded and kept on running. Jumping to your feet you pulled out your dagger and expertly fought your opponent,using your ability and hoping on your father that it showed you the kid’s upcoming moves and not his future life.Luckily,it worked and you were able to predict his attacks and push him to the ground. You silently thanked your father before turning and running in the direction in which you’d seen Luke go.
Upon your arrival you heard your team’s ruckus cheers. You all celebrated and when you turned to Luke to give him a sweet victory kiss,you were stopped by a loud howl ripping through the sounds of celebration . And suddenly,you were all firing arrows at a hellhound. “How’d that get in here!” you called over to your half-siblings who all shrugged and kept firing arrow after arrow. Eventually the hound fell dead but Percy was badly wounded,Luke was at his side in an instant and with him so were you. You watched as percy stepped back into the creek and his wounds just vanished. “there’s no way…” you said,your voice trailing off. You looked over to your boyfriend to see him looking just as surprised as you felt, “looks like there is.” He said. And when you turned back over to percy,sure enough there was a smokey green trident floating above his head. Chiron came forward and said aloud what you had all been suspecting,after which you all knelt before Percy Jackson;the Son of Poseidon.
After that day Luke seemed to be overly nervous.he fidgeted more and his mind drifted off more often,sure these were signs of his ADHD,hell you had them too,but something felt wrong.
When Percy,Annabeth and Grover got sent on their quest you and Luke sent them off,him giving Percy the winged converse his dad had given him,and you some extra mortal cash for their journey. You then sent them off with wishes of good luck and safe travels .
After that your lives just went back to normal.
One day,while under the tree in your regular spot,your head resting on Luke’s shoulder,you asked him the question that’d been running through your head for the past few days. “Hey Luke?” you began, he hummed in acknowledgement and you took it as your sign to go ahead. “has anything been bothering you lately?you've been kinda scattered…more than usual actually” at this he suddenly went stiff before relaxing and replying, “just stressed these days love,that’s it”
“wanna talk about it? You know I’m here for you if you need to talk right?”
“I know…it’s just that…ive been having nightmares again”
You sat up straight at this and looked him in the eye,concern painted all over your face
“again?? When did it start? What are they about? Are you okay? Are you in danger? Can I help???” you let the stream of questions leave your lips before you even had a second to process them.
He let out a little laugh,a sad look suddenly coming over his eyes. “don’t worry y/n,nothing I can't handle. '' he joked,squeezing your hand. You weren’t buying it.
“Come on Luke.you can tell me…” you cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes,searching for a clearer reason for his pain.
He placed his hand over yours and leaned into your touch,kissing your palm.
He sighed,“can we talk about this later? Please? ” he sounded pained but you gave him the space he needed. You trusted Luke with your life;you trusted him to tell you the truth “sure” you said.
When he was ready,you’d be there for him not matter what.
A few days later when you were sparring together he got an iris message from Annabeth,Percy and Grover, he accepted and you both said hi to the trio of kids they told him of their adventures and how they knew who the lightning thief was. At the sudden mention of that last fact,you saw him go slightly pale.Not much,but you noticed. You stayed silent watching their exchange,and when percy said it was Ares,Luke visibly deflated. ‘no…’ was all you could think. There was no way Luke had anything to do with Zeus’ Master-bolt going missing…you simply refused to believe it. Suddenly you couldn’t breathe and your head was spinning. It was suddenly hard to breathe and that’s when you noticed Luke was at your side,his hand on you back propping you up and asking you to lie down,asking you if you were okay and what happened.You just rushed to wrap your arms around him .You held onto him for dear life and started sobbing.he hugged you back but pulled away when he noticed you were crying. “hey..hey are you okay?? What happened? What did I say?” and for the first time you did it. You used your ability on Luke and what you saw confirmed your suspicions.
You saw him setting a pit scorpion on Percy. Admitting to stealing the bolt,admitting to summoning the hellhound.you saw him leaving Camp Half-Blood behind.You saw it all.
In that moment you knew that you should let him go. Push him away and kill him for being such a traitor not only to you but to the entirety of camp. But you just held him closer,tighter,impossibly so. You didn’t want to believe it.Your Luke,the only true family you had other than your Apollo siblings. The man you loved,was a traitor. But you said nothing. You put on a brave face and spent the next days with him as though nothing was wrong.you
You savoured the next few days,went on picnics,sparred together and when he inevitably asked you if you were okay, you just told him you hadn’t slept well.He dropped the subject pretty quickly. And when the night of his betrayal came,you were ready. You left your siblings to practice and made your way to where you knew he’d try to leave from. And sure enough he came running out of the forest with a sword different to the ones you'd seen in the armoury and the forges. This one was two-toned,one side seeming to be steel and the other the celestial bronze you knew well. The moment Luke saw you he looked almost relieved,but when he saw the arrow you had drawn,his smile quickly faded. “y/n,” he chuckled, “wha-what are you doing?” you kept a straight face,tears beginning to well up in your eyes.
“how could you luke! How could you betray us! Betray me?!” you choked through your tears and his face went completely blank.
“you don’t want to do this y/n..just put the arrow down and we can talk about this”
“like hell we can! I’m not letting you set a pit scorpion on me too!”
He looked almost hurt as you said those last words but he just sheathed his sword and held his hand out for you to take.
“come on y/n.do you really want to be a slave to the gods forever? They don’t even care about us.Join me.Join me, and Kronos will let us rule the new world together.we can make our parents pay for abandoning us,we can get justice”
You looked at his outstretched hand,it looked so tempting .You wanted nothing more than to drop your weapons and run to him. To say yes and rule the world with him.You didn’t care about the gods and about this world,all it had ever done was hurt you and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to see Olympus burn sometimes,but you caught yourself . Just as you began lowering your bow,you remembered your siblings.your friends at camp.what would happen to them? Would they just be casualties to him? Would Luke spare them on your request?
You were many things but a traitor was not one them.
You dropped your bow to which luke smiled and made his way to you. He wrapped you in a warm hug and for a second you felt like everything was good in the world. You hugged him back,tight. “I love you” you said, giving him a teary kiss,which he returned.
Then,as quick as you could you unsheathed your dagger and stabbed him.
he grunted in pain as he was hit with the sudden realization of what you’d done. He staggered back,blood beginning to stain his shirt. You began to cry out. You didn’t want to do this. It felt like you'd been stabbed yourself and that’s when you looked down to see he was holding out his blade as well,and it’d cut you in your side,deeper than you’d gotten him.You fell to your knees and when you lifted your head,he was gone.You lay there on the grass,bleeding and crying.you shouted for help as loud as you could before your vision grew blurry and you passed out.
When you woke up you were met with the sight of the infirmary’s ceiling.
You tried to sit up but the searing pain in your side kept you down. You groaned in pain before turning your head to the patient in the bed next to you. It was Percy and he was passed out cold.
All you could manage was a strained,“Percy…” before a firm hand held you down.
“Rest.” You heard the familiar voice of one of your half-brothers,Tom.
“What happened?” you whispered out,but it was just loud enough.
“Luke happened. He set a pit scorpion on Percy and then he stabbed you” he said softly. He must have known how it’d affect you.
At this information you began to tear up again. “so it wasn’t just a bad nightmare?” you asked. Tom sighed before replying. “unfortunately not…” he squeezed your hand and asked you to rest.
You fell back asleep sobbing.
In your dreams you found yourself standing in a shallow pool of water,luke was standin in the distance and you,without thinking,just ran to him. You wrapped him in a hug and he did the same. You looked up to him with tear stained cheeks and teary eyes and kissed him. “Im sorry” you choked out.
He kissed you back before placing another kiss to the top of your head. “I know y/n…I am too”
“Will I ever see you again?”
“yes…”
“but we’ll be on,”
“on opposing sides…yeah”
you both sighed and just stood there,holding each other.
“Then this is goodbye isn’t it” you said this time more clearly,you were finally beginning to believe how real this all was.
“it is…good bye y/n. oh and, I love you,please rememeber that.”
you nodded and with that your dream faded to black and you woke in the infirmary once again.
Everything had changed so fast,but the one thing you were sure of was simple. There was a war coming. And you had to be ready to fight the love of your life.
You had to kill Luke castellan.
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Family love(less). Chapter I
Self-Aware! Platonic! Yandere! BSD Characters x GN!Child! Reader
Self-Aware! Platonic! Yandere! Yukichi Fukuzawa x GN! Child! Reader
Chapter description: you woke up in unfamiliar place. Fukuzawa promise to keep your safe.
Warning: OOC. Platonic Yandere. Mental abuse. English is my second language.
[<Previous ll Masterlist ll Next>]
A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone! 🎄🎅🧑🎄🤶☃️
Chapter I. Bodyguard's memories
The Park was quiet. No children's laughter. No adults talking with each other. No birds singing.
Only wind's howling.
But the Park wasn't completely empty.
There were six people.
Fukuzawa Yukichi, the bodyguard. President of the Armed Detective Agency in the future. Right now, a bodyguard, again.
He was cradling you. You were sleeping soundly, nested against Fukuzawa's chest.
On the ground were laying four of your relatives. Four people, on punishing whom Fukuzawa, Oda, Ranpo and Natsume insisted personally.
Three of your cousins. Their father, your uncle. Four people, who tortured them.
And who hurt and abused you.
Fukuzawa breath through his teeth. Your so-called family personified everything he (and others) hated.
Fukuzawa cradle you closer to his chest and walked towards the bench.
He kicked your uncle on his way. Their revenge will start, only after you and your relatives woke up, yet, Fukuzawa couldn't help it. After quick thinking, Fukuzawa kicked your uncle a few more times.
The man on the ground groan in pain, yet, didn't wake up. Slightly satisfied, Fukuzawa sat on the bench.
He, after making sure, that you are comfortably cradled in his arms, he started to think.
He had some time, before all of you wake up.
_________
Three months ago. After another session of "Read BSD together" video call.
________
Fukuzawa was sitting in his office. He was hiding his face in his hands.
The words of forsaken Real People rang in his ears.
"Fukuzawa is such a terrible character!"
"Agree! How could anyone like an old bag like him!"
"And this is the great swordsman? A babysitter for a bunch of kids!"
Word.
After word.
After word.
Insult.
After insult.
After insult.
Aimed at him. Aimed at his detectives. At other organizations' members.
And with every insult come pain. With every insult, Fukuzawa felt, like he was drowning, teared apart. Tortured.
Fukuzawa can accept, that he and others can't be liked by everyone. And, while he despised of thinking about that, he understands, that not everyone will like stories about their life.
But this people hate all of them.
Hate them for simply existing.
For not reaching their expectations.
For being too kind, too cruel, too old, too young, too strict, too soft.
Fukuzawa hated Real People.
They only insulted them. Not even once Real People said something relatively nice about Fukuzawa or others. Only complaints and insults.
... Well, Readers said something nice about their looks from time to time. Yet, this comments didn't make the situation better.
"I am so tired of BSD. I can't even understand, why I still read it together with all of you!"
Fukuzawa, unheard to the real world, grumble under his nose.
"Then why are you still reading about us? If we bring to you only anger and boredom, why you torture both yourself and us?"
But, of course, no one answered Fukuzawa's question.
_____
Fukuzawa's thoughts were interrupted by movement on his lap. You started to woke up.
______
You felt warm. Warm and safe. You were dreaming about being protected by someone.
But, it's just a dream, for sure. No one from your family would care enough to protect you.
You yawn, opened your eyes and looked around.
At the park. At Uncle Arnold, Rita, Monika and Rebecca, who were laying unconscious on the ground. And at Fukuzawa, who was looking at you, and his gaze was soft.
If it wasn't for Fukuzawa's grip, you would fell on the ground. But, bodyguard held you close, not letting you fall down and hurt yourself.
"Careful, kiddo, there's no need to be afraid." Fukuzawa's hand ruffle your hair.
"Who... Where... How?" almost squeaked you. You had no idea how you got here and what was going on. Fukuzawa continue ruffling your hair.
"Shh... Don't worry, you are safe here. Nothing is going to harm you, kiddo." His voice was shooting.
No one has ever talked to you with so much softness in their voice, or pet your head. Slowly, your fear disappeared. You sat still.
"Now, let's introduce ourselves to each other. I am Fukuzawa Yukichi. And you are?" Fukuzawa sound genuine curious.
he gives you no reason to think, that he already knew your name
"[Y/N]... Nice to meet you, sir" Mumble you under your breath. You were nervous, yet, you still remain polite. You don't want to be hit by Fukuzawa. Bodyguard chuckled.
"You have a nice name, kiddo. Say, what were you doing, sleeping on the streets?" Fukuzawa's eyes remains soft. You looked at the ground and shrugged.
"I don't know... I fall asleep in my bed. Woke up here." Fukuzawa chuckled, hold you closer to his chest and stands up.
"Well then, you can stay with me, for now. Let's find you something more suitable for walking down the streets." Fukuzawa takes a few steps towards the Park entrance, when you shake his shoulder.
"M-Mister Fukuzawa, but, my family are still here!" You point at four unconscious people on the ground. You looked down at them, feeling nervous. You knew, that they would ruin anything good, that is supposed to happen to you, yet, you were afraid of leaving them here. They would be mad at you.
they will hit you
You didn't notice Fukuzawa's glare, that he send towards your family.
_____
The new person, who start reading about them, weren't that bad.
They were a child.
And a sweet one.
Soft-spoken. Kind.
And utterly adorable.
They were nice to all of them.
Not a single insult were thrown in their way. The new reader didn't feel even a speck of hate towards them.
Such a contrast, in comparison to the previous... Readers.
They start calling the new Reader Guiding Light. Their hope in this dark days.
Yet, the voices of previous Readers remained.
And this time, they were hating on Little Guiding Light.
This four weren't an exception. And, the man was Fukuzawa's enemy.
Yukichi's eyes shrink, when he looked at your uncle.
Arnold... Despicable being...
"Hey, Little Rat, are you still here? Shouldn't you be in a sewer with the rest of your kind?"
"[Y/N], don't try to act smart. You are dumber, then a donkey!"
"You useless clod! Your mother's should have get rid of you, when she had a chance!"
Fukuzawa wished, he could break the phone's screen, go to your world, destroy your family and, finally, give you the father's love you deserve.
But, for now, Fukuzawa can only wait.
________
Fukuzawa felt you shaking in his arms. Your voice sounded scared.
"P-please, we can't leave them."
'We can. They would leave you. They won't care about you. Stop caring about them only because you are related! Are you afraid, that they will punish you? Don't be! Your new father won't let them lay a finger on you!'
Fukuzawa wanted to say this.
Instead, he smiled.
It was the fakest smile in the world.
"Don't worry, kiddo, we won't be gone for long. I promise, that we will return in ten minutes. And, if they woke up before we return, then." Fukuzawa winks. "We will pretend, that we found them after they woke up. Deal?"
You looked at Fukuzawa and slowly nodded.
What remains of your childish curiosity has won.
Fukuzawa chuckled and walked towards the entrance.
_____
The clothing shop wasn't far away from the Park, so, you quickly choose your new outfit.
There were no salespersons, but, Fukuzawa assured you, that it wasn't a problem, and he will simply leave money on the counter.
'There are no other people in this world, except you, kiddo, your older brother Ranpo, your second new father Natsume-sensei, your future new third father, Oda Sakunosuke and I, first of your new fathers. And your relatives? I don't consider them as humans.'
Fukuzawa didn't say this out loud. He didn't want to scare you by mentioning your family.
You were too nervous, you didn't want make Fukuzawa to spend money on you, but, swordsmen firmly insisted on getting you new clothes.
You choose a simple clothes, that was good enough for taking a walk. When you changed, Fukuzawa lead you back to the park. He assured you, that he did leave money on the counter.
He grasps your much smaller hand in his.
For the first time, an adult hold your hand, to make sure, that you won't get lost.
Was it normal to like Fukuzawa more, than your actual relatives?
You still don't know, how you get here.
But, right now, this place was better, then home.
____
When Fukuzawa and you returned, your uncle and cousins were awake.
Fukuzawa took a step forward, shielding you from your relatives.
People, who made him and others go through torture. People, who made your life miserable.
'You will never hurt my kid ever again.'
His revenge has officially begun.
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want u around !
✎ᝰ — post breakups with the blue lock boys
★ — oliver aiku, rensuke kunigami, sae itoshi x gn!reader
★ — genre + warnings: angst + literally all the boys fucked up, ooc for sae (sort of)
The morning rises and Oliver awakens from his slumber, mainly because of his dark-furred border collie, Ella. But also from the recent, recurring, dream, one that brought him peace but also drifted him from reality. You both were dressed comfortably, lounging on the rooftop of his apartment, and enjoying the starry night. You both talk of the future, his soccer career, family, personal thoughts, and just about anything to avoid silence and to say what you truly want to say, that you love him. You were nervous; nervous laughter instead of joyful, clammy hands, playing with the ends of your hair, anxiousness rising, you were a frazzled mess. Oliver took notice and asked if you were okay, instead of responding “normally”, you exploded your heart onto him and told him you love him. Your emotions flooded your brain and mouth, and instead of stopping after the confession, you spewed out how your heart beats for Oliver, how your body yearns for him, your heart tugs at even the thought of him, just everything you’ve held in for the night.
Now his body yearns for you, his head hurts and his heart aches at you being the missing piece from his life. He wishes he didn’t screw up, he wishes your feelings of anger and hatred, he replaced with love and nurture, he just wishes that he had done right. He wishes for you to still be around.
The large double doors open, indicating that the Blue Lock players are released from the facility for a small break. It’s been a gruesome year, some suffered more than others, but it wasn’t the worst the boys have handled. Especially for Kunigami, his world shattered on multiple occasions and his heart was ripped from his chest as well. Not only did he lose a spot in the Blue Lock project but also lost one of the most important people in his life, the love of his life.
As the young male continues to exit, and says his goodbyes to his friends and teammates, he looks around for his parents, and you as well. Now he’s very aware of the certain circumstances between you and him, but that doesn’t stop him from having at least a sliver of hope. He’s praying and begging that you would be next to his parents and hug him tightly, he’s hoping that you’re there to greet him with your warm smile, he’s hoping for some kind of inkling of your presence. Hope is what is keeping his head held high but as he gets closer to the parking lot and finds his parent’s car, anxiety starts to replace that hope. It heightens once his parents spot him and exit the car, but you don’t.
Kunigami's brain starts thinking that maybe you were too busy to come with, maybe you forgot the date, or maybe you actually don’t care anymore. No, it couldn’t be that there’s no way you no longer have care for him, you said you love him. The breakup couldn’t have been that bad that you completely erased him, there’s just no way. Kunigami opens his phone and opens your messages, he sends a text but it doesn’t send. He panics and calls you but it goes straight to voicemail, he tries again yet the same result. He tries to call and text, yet the same message is repeated over and over again.
Kunigami soon becomes frustrated and realizes that you really have erased him from your life.
As he enters his home, Sae sighs heavily from the escape of the paparazzi. Usually, he just ignores him but he has dug too deep into his sorrows and tries every way to avoid them, not even having enough energy to throw a snarky comment at them.
Since that conversation, Sae’s emotions have been running rampant and they’ve been affecting his livelihood, as well as his playing skills. Thankfully, he can play it off and have no one notice but that doesn’t stop his mind from wandering to the last few words that were said and how you walked away teary-eyed. Soon enough, his mind becomes hazy and he misses a shot or incorrectly executes a play, but instantly saves it. Some of his teammates have noticed but don’t dwell on it since they know how Sae can be.
He drags himself to his room, half expecting you to be there and half expecting an empty bed. He plops himself on his bed and immediately starts cursing himself, getting angry at his sloppy plays, getting angry for even wanting to care, angry at allowing himself to become who he became, and just angry at himself. He’s frustrated at how he let fame and recognition change him to hurt his lover, the love of his life, the one thing that brought light to his mundane, cyclical life.
He promised himself to not mess this one thing up, this one thing of perfection, the one thing that he genuinely enjoyed. Yet, he did exactly that. But what did he expect? He’s Sae Itoshi, the man who’d rather put soccer over everything and who would rather tend to himself than to his loved ones. He tried, truly, but even that wasn’t enough to stop you from leaving. Nothing of him could stop him from leaving you and he may as well sit in that truth.
★ I had a completely different idea for these boys but why not write some angst ;p
★ hope you guys enjoy my first post here <3. lemme know which one is your fav !
𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: matthew 5:10
© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥 𝗋𝗒𝗇𝖿𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗌. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽
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𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬
Masterlist<3
Summary: YEARNING WITH A READER HES ABLE TO TOUCH.
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader
Warnings: Mentions of Kaz's touch aversion, death, slight OOC Kaz but I think only if you squint like he's a softie with Y/N and Y/N only. Let me know if I missed any!!!
Word Count: 2.3K
Requested: I guess? @kaldurahms-lover
A/N: The user tagged posted a general request to us Kaz fic writers. The concept follows the line of how our boy would need TOUCH from an s/o who he has known from before JorDIE died. Bestie I hope you like it and you don't mind I used fem!reader (I can change it if it IS an issue). I haven't started and I'm already excited about this piece being posted!!! Mwah hope I did justice to the concept.
˚ · • . ° .
Kaz didn't really know what it was. Maybe it was the weather, too warm for Ketterdam, or the way he was sweating under his gloves. Maybe it was how loud Nina and Jesper were being, too tipsy to care for the volume of their laughs, or how the last job had gone well even when they didn't follow the plan he traced. Maybe he just missed her.
Who was he kidding? Of course he missed her. Y/N had been gone two weeks on a little trip to Novyi Zem to pick up a shipment and get information from financial records kept in one of the properties belonging to their next target. He really tried getting his seller to deliver directly to Ketterdam, but they said it would be too much trouble. Y/N, kind as always, convinced Kaz offered to do both tasks.
And he missed her. The others could tell. The grumpy mood the bastard carried himself with had been even grumpier in the last couple of days and they all knew well what was going on, but decided against prying because he'd never admit it. They couldn't really blame him. After all, his girl was the only one who seemed to melt that inaccessible boy.
They found each other in akin situations; lost kids in a new city, all on their own and with the foolish dream of making a life with nothing but honest intentions and a kind heart. The boy could still remember those pretty watery eyes looking up at his brother with fear, fear of him being another person ready to hurt her. Instead, he made a silent promise to himself to always protect her, to never let anyone hurt her again.
Little did that boy knew he could not keep that promise, not for her, not for himself. He thought fondly at that memory, though. An image close to his heart that made him wonder that maybe he wasn't such a horrible person. Blame it on the innate capacity of kids to feel empathy towards virtually any living thing.
When Jordie died, Kaz was ruined. He felt like he had lost a part of himself, and he didn't know how to go on without his brother. He was consumed by grief and anger, early in age, and pushed Y/N far away from him. But Y/N didn't give up on him.
She knew how much he was hurting, and she refused to let him suffer alone. She was patient with him, giving him the space he needed to grieve, but also letting him know that she was there for him whenever he was ready to talk.
One day, as they were walking through the streets of Ketterdam, Kaz finally opened up to Y/N. He told her everything he had been feeling since Jordie died, the anger, the guilt, and most importantly, the emptiness. And as he spoke, Y/N listened, never judging him, but always offering a kind word or a gentle touch. A touch that did not bother him in the slightest.
Her hands didn't make him feel sick like the ones from officers in the Stadwatch. He realized that he could bear it, and even better, savor it. As they sat in that alley all those years ago, sharing a piece of bread and a dream of a better life, Kaz knew that he had found something special in Y/N. He had found someone who understood him, who accepted him for who he was, and who believed in him even when he didn't believe in himself.
And he knew that he would never let her go. No matter what challenges they faced in the future, no matter how dark the world around them became, Kaz would always have Y/N by his side, just as she had always had his. Together, they would face anything that came their way, because that was what they had always done. They were lost kids in a new city, but they had found each other, and that was all that mattered.
With time, he saw Y/N under a new light. Kaz admired the girl for her capacity to take the best out of situations while remaining conscious of how awful things could get. Her tenderness and bliss seemed to come from a bottomless pit, while his had run dry a long time ago.
It's okay, she had enough to spare for the both of them. Feelings developed, conflict ensued, and after three years of the perilous path of love, they became official. Kaz wouldn't have it any other way and Saint's know Y/N wouldn't either. They loved each other like only two young kids in love could; raw, endlessly.
And that's why Y/N's letter saying she needed more time to collect information had the barrel's bastard all sulky. He needed her embrace, and he needed it now. The more he thought about it, the less probable it seemed for him to be able to hold on a few more days.
"You okay, boss?"
Now, Jesper knew the answer to his question, and he knew why Brekker wasn't doing okay, but he was no expert on how to handle these types of situations, and it seemed like the right thing to ask. As far as Kaz goes, well, he had no idea when the zemeni boy had left his place next to Nina to walk all the way to him. He was too busy thinking about her, as he had been for the past two weeks.
No response came from him. Then a sigh from Jesper. "She'll be back soon, she's okay, Kaz. Turn that terrifying frown into the normal one, you're scaring the piggeons more than we want to". The frustration he felt seemed almost unreasonable; he gave her the job knowing exactly the implications it entailed, so why was he so needy? There was patience in any action of his, but he couldn't control how much he wanted a kiss from his lover at the moment.
To some, it might be cute. To him, it was thoroughly infuriating. "Get a hold of yourself. She'll be back soon, no need to get all mad about something that only time will fix", he thought to himself over and over again in that hot afternoon as he laid on a white blowy blouse in his room trying to go to sleep so time would somehow be faster since burying himself in paperwork and plotting hadn't worked.
With a deep sigh, Kaz closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. He knew that he had to get a grip on himself and not let his emotions get the best of him. Y/N would be back soon enough, and until then, he would have to be patient and wait for her return. And so, he lay there, trying to calm his racing thoughts and steady his beating heart, until finally, he drifted off to sleep.
˚ · • . ° .
First thing he heard was a soft hum. A too familiar song coming from a sweet voice in the bathroom. Was he so out of control he was now dreaming of Y/N returning? What love does to a man... The sun prickling his skin felt too real, the sweat on his bare hands ran freshly, tickling him ever so slightly.
He sat up quickly, his heart pounding with excitement. Had she returned early from her trip? He got out of bed and walked towards the door carefully, his bare footsteps echoing delicately on the wooden floor. As he opened the door a bit wider, he saw her standing in front of the mirror. Y/N's eyes met his, hers sparkling with a well-known happiness.
"Hi" she dared to say. Saints! She had no idea what an agony it had been without her, right? Kaz felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her. She looked radiant, with her hair tousled and her cheeks flushed from the heat outside. A long walk from the docks, surely. Had he been awake and aware of her early return, he would've walked her back to the Slat with an umbrella to shield both of them from the suffocating light.
"Hello" he mumbled, still a little dazed from sleep. Y/N smiled and stepped closer to him. "I missed you," she said simply, reaching out to take his hand. Kaz felt a surge of emotion wash over him, and he knew in that moment that she had missed him just as much. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against him as he breathed in the scent of her hair. It was the same from before she left, just a little saltier.
For a moment, they just stood there, wrapped up in each other, savoring the feeling of being together once more.
Finally, Y/N pulled back and looked up at him, a soft smile on her lips. "I brought you something," she said, pulling away and shuffling through her bag before humming contently, pulling and holding out a small box.
Kaz took the package and opened it to reveal a delicate silver necklace, with a tiny crow charm dangling from it. He looked up at her, surprised and touched by the gesture. "Y-you don't have to wear it-" "It's beautiful," he said softly, handing it over to her as she carefully placed it around his neck with a content smile.
They both knew it would remain hidden under the various layers of clothing he wore on cooler days (or even the hotter ones such as this), but knowing it was there was enough.
"Looks pretty" Y/N beamed, tracing her fingers down his half-exposed chest and pulling him in for a hug from the waist. "I missed you so much," he confessed, feeling the commotion inside of him finally subside under her touch. "I missed you too much, never let me go away for that long again... no matter how stubborn I get".
Kaz felt his mouth turn up in a grin, almost letting out a giggle. "Never," He looked down at her briefly and found her looking at him already, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "don't think I could bear it".
As the heat of the afternoon persisted, Kaz and Y/N found themselves seeking refuge in the relative coolness of Kaz's bedroom. They lay on the bed together, cuddled up over the white sheets, with Kaz's arm wrapped tightly around Y/N's waist. Despite the warmth of the day, Kaz felt a chill run through him at the touch of Y/N's skin against his.
As they lay there, Kaz felt a sense of peace wash over him. He had spent so much of his life chasing after money and power, but now, in this moment, he realized that his number one priority was something much simpler: the warmth and love of the person he cared about most in the world.
Y/N shifted slightly in his arms, and Kaz tightened his grip on her. He could feel her breathing softly against his chest, and he knew that he would never tire of this feeling.
"I've been more... difficult than usual. Even Matthias got alarmed," he murmured, his voice low and husky laced with amusement. Y/N looked up at him, giggling, her eyes filled with love. "It's okay," she said softly. "I missed you too."
Kaz smiled, feeling a sense of contentment that he had never experienced before. He knew that his life would always be filled with danger and uncertainty, but as long as he had Y/N by his side, he knew that he would be able to face anything. Just like when they were kids.
They lay there for a long time, just holding each other, lost in their own thoughts. And as the afternoon turned to evening, they drifted off to sleep, safe and content in each other's arms.
˚ · • . ° .
Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:)
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this hope is treacherous [roman roy x fem!reader]
word count: 600 - 700
warnings: ooc roman, perhaps, idk but i wanted (needed) something fluffy after studying for so long. cursing? not edited. english is my first language. i cannot get over this look !!!!!! also not my picture.
masterlist
“Would you ever want a big wedding like this?”
Such an intimate question coming from him surprises her. She peers at him through her black sunglasses. He has his hands on his pockets, a relaxed stance at first glance; his shoulders moved forwards, curving his back, his head faces the landscape opposite her, as if he was ashamed of the words escaping his mouth. It’s a nervous stance, she deduces after a second, sharper look. Her heart cannot help but to jump faster every time she looks at his pink shirt.
“I - I mean if you even want to get married,” he continues. “Or are you one of those women who shit on marriage just for the fun of it?”
(Y/N) takes a couple of seconds to respond, wanting to see if he’ll turn his head and face her. He does, then moves his head again to look at the people his mother invited to her wedding with some prick he’s sure is only after the remnants of the money she got from the divorce with his father. He moves his head to, finally, settle his eyes on her. He’d preferred the sunglasses off her face. He’s afraid to dig deeper on the why. He can see she’s getting tired of holding the umbrella one of the organisers gave her — so she could block the Tuscan sun from her head and most of her back — from the way she keeps changing it from one hand to the other.
“Why are you staring, you weirdo? I asked you a question, it’s only right for you to answer me, you know.” Roman says before taking his hands out of his pockets. He’s about to grab the handle of the umbrella, but changes his mind at the last second; instead, he crosses his arms over his chest to try to cover up the raising of his arms. He realises her dress is the same tone of deep blue that the pants he’s wearing. Roman clears his throat, he feels like he’s about to choke.
“No way, I mean with all this fucking people? And their ridiculous hats and these ridiculous umbrellas?” (Y/N) gives an answer to the question that’s been pondering over Roman’s mind since that day he got told about his mother’s wedding. Roman found himself thinking — or dreaming, he’s not quite sure — of her later that night. His heart had jumped as the image of seeing (Y/N) in a white dress (was she walking towards him?) and a flower arrangement held by both of her hands appeared vividly on his mind. Roman blamed it on the stress of choosing the future president of the country.
“So you don’t want to get married.” Why was he asking so much about this? He guessed that by getting his answer, he could finally forget about the vision of her in a white, wedding dress. Now it was even worse. He felt somewhat disappointed.
“Oh no, I do, but just with not this many people. I'd like something small, in a place where it's sunny but not this fucking sunny. I don't know, I probably wouldn't invite anyone really. just, just yo.. just the lucky guy and I, I guess,” she shrugged her shoulders, averting her eyes from his after almost saying ‘you’. God, she was an idiot.
“Lucky guy indeed,” Roman whistled before grabbing a glass from one of the waiters’ trays.
They stood in silence watching the guests around them, looking at the other from the corner of their eyes. Roman grabbed the handle of the umbrella from her, making sure it still covered her from the sun, after he heard her mumbling about how it was numbing her arm. She smiled, a contained smile that threatened to become a full grin if she didn’t press her lips tightly. He saw it, but decided not to say anything. A small smirk took control of his face, one that was not mocking, neither sarcastic, but almost adolescent. She saw it when he was looking at his shiny shoes. She didn’t say anything.
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my first time ever writing for higuruma, and i'm not too satisfied w/ this + higu seemed ooc as well, i'm sorry :") trying to practice writing him more in the future! 💜🌻
. dividers by @/cafekitsune !! 🌻
And one more maple leaf fell to the hard ground. You bend over to pick it up, and examine it more closely with a small smile upon your features.
Just a day left before the year changes. You stood there underneath the shady tree, as if you were contemplating with your pool of thoughts. You aren't ready to leave this year behind, yet you're just glad and grateful that you're able to experience this moment of time and place.
"Ah, the leaf looks rather nice." Higuruma breaks the brief silence between the both of you, not knowing what other words to say at the same time. "And it's almost time for a new year too."
You simply gave him a warm look and a nod, then returned your attention to the leaf that was still in your fingers.
Higuruma returned the look that you gave him as a sudden question occurs to him, which feels completely natural on its' own.
"Have you thought of any wishes for the upcoming year yet?" He feels curious all of a sudden; also wanting to try to initiate any conversation with you as possible.
"Mm nope!" You shook your head, "Not yet at least."
"How about you?"
Higuruma hums for a bit; now standing not too far from where you are, but still keeping a reasonable distance between you two. "Well, if I'm being honest, I haven't really given it much thought as well."
"But if I really had to pick one, it might be something like, trying to spend more time with the people that I actually care about."
He stops just about there, not knowing what to say next. But also leaving you some room for whatever you wanted to say.
"Ah, that's nice then!" You nodded with an understanding look, before sending him a smile once again.
"So like, does that mean you're going to find any potential partner for the upcoming year?"
He snorts a bit in a lighthearted manner, obviously didn't mind your question. "I guess I've been so focused on my work that I really haven't thought about having any relationship.."
"It's almost frightening how fast the years have gone by, and how little time that I actually had for myself."
"Working, solving cases, paperworks.. I sometimes find myself thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to come home to at the end of the day."
"And yet when the evening arrives, I'm usually already way too exhausted." He shrugs with signs of acceptance in his expression. "Maybe I'm just not meant to be with anyone."
"Don't say that-- it's not true." You shook your head with a small sigh, partly disagreeing with his words. "Although I would agree with you; it's really nice to have someone that's actually waiting for you at the end of the day."
He nodded, fixing his attention on the existing lake being displayed ahead of you two. Just by the mere thought causes him to feel the temporary loneliness lingering within him, but quickly tries to brush off his thoughts.
It's seemingly pointless to ponder on such stuff, especially right now.
"I do wish the same for you though."
Higuruma gives you a light chuckle before adding up to the previous statement, "And who knows; maybe it'll be a tall, handsome man of your dreams."
You grinned widely at his rather corny remark while shaking your head amusingly. "Hmm.." With your eyes narrowing slightly in a mischievous manner, you shift your gaze to him.
“I suppose you got a point."
He merely nodded while looking everywhere else but you. You wonder what's running through his mind right now.
"But to be frank, I did found the one. I just didn't know if she would return the same feelings as I do for her, y'know."
And as he tells you, a small smile appears on his face. He wasn't looking at you when you did, so you kept on staring with a rather curious look.
You try not to get your hopes up, and you gotta admit that your heart did sting when he said those words.
You just needed a direct confirmation in a way, that is if he wanted to do so. You can't even tell what your own mind is blabbering about right now.
"I never knew when the moment would be right, even though I've been friends with her for quite some time now."
"But then again, who would love someone as busy as me?" It came off as more of a realization himself if anything. And even though the said person didn't have the same feelings as he did-- he'll be fine with it, and he won't stop loving her no matter what.
It took a while, but you eventually came out with a reply. "You're wrong," and this made him turn his gaze back to yours once more.
"How about this--" you began to suggest an idea to him, "--why don't you just try to go for it? It's better to confess as soon as you can than never."
God, you didn't even know why you would say anything as such if it only leads to your impending mental destruction, yet you still did it anyway.
But as long as he's happy; then you're happy for him as well. It's just how it works.
“You really think I should?"
His dark-coloured eyes focused on you alone, as if to try to let your words sink into his mind. The attorney let the idea weigh down a bit. "Won't that be too sudden?"
"I mean, if you really have feelings for her, then I guess you should." You encouragingly nod at him, trying not to act nosy on who he's actually referring to. It could hurt you more when you know that someone, especially when it's not you.
And of course, your words made him rethink the possible decision that he might finally make after all this time; trying to get into his own finalised conclusion.
“I guess I'll have to try."
"Do wish me luck then."
"Good luck!" You beamed at him-- or at least, tried to, and thought he would leave elsewhere afterward. But no, he remained in his previous spot as he seemed to be contemplating something more.
"You know, the woman I liked-- she's just amazing." Higuruma smiles to himself, much to your slight confusion as to why he would tell you such a thing. Not that you minded much, you suppose.
"Compassionate, honest, beautiful. I can just go on for hours talking about her."
When he realises your answers become way less and not even bother to look at him in the eye, he pushes himself to ask you something further.
"I'm curious though."
"Out of everything that I told you so far, did anyone cross your mind at least?" You somehow missed the mischievous glint that was present within that moment, temporarily distracted by some people who passed by the other side of the lake.
"I don't know..?" You paused for a second, "Was it Sakiko?"
A random guess, but worth a shot. The attorney has his eyes widened slightly and unexpectedly, before his lips cracking more into an amused grin.
"Sakiko? No, not her." He tells you that with a voice full of confidence, and with your even more perplexed expression, along with eye contact helps him more.
"I was honestly talking about you the entire time."
Now, it's your turn to be baffled-- eyes widening slightly at his unexpected statement. "I-I'm sorry?"
This isn't what you're expecting at all, and suddenly you feel dumb for your own thoughts from before. Higuruma lets his stare linger upon your form for much longer; a smile still present.
"I know this might sound sudden--"
"-- But yes, I was actually referring to you." The attorney confirms all of your suspicions with ease. Higuruma has nothing much to fear, not anymore.
"Oh, well-- I didn't expect that actually." With the clear of your throat, you tried your best to keep your composure despite your flustered expression at the realisation slowly unravelling itself before you.
"I really thought you meant someone else.."
Higuruma chuckles once again, finding your current state rather endearing. If anything, he adores it.
Slowly, but surely, he takes a few steps closer to you, cupping your cheek tenderly with one of his hands. You stayed frozen at your spot, still trying to process the whole situation that's unfolding at the very moment.
"I'm merely being honest when I said all of those words."
"That's just like, a few of them. Because if I were to try to list every trait of yours that I genuinely adore--" He gazes into your eyes; a look that's filled with genuine warmth and a look that seems to be piercing straight into your soul, yet comfortingly so. "-- it would be endless."
Your face is just straight-up heating at this point, while your heart is beating wildly against your ribcage upon the proximity that you both shared. You would've melted if you could.
It's just so sweet. He's trying to take his time to properly confess to you.
"Do you have any idea how badly I've wanted to tell you those words?" His voice, barely a whisper, continued on with a soft caress on your cheek.
"But I was afraid back then."
"I didn't want to ruin anything-- our friendship, that we have built together."
“But you somehow gave me the strength to do so. I needed it so much."
Finally regaining your own composure and processing his words, you gazed at him still, with an affectionate look of your own. The way you smiled up at him-- God, he feels like he falls in love with you all over again.
"I'm actually glad that you did."
"So now, I don't have to hide my feelings for you too." And it oddly sounds easier admitting out those words right now; the words flowing out of your mouth ever so naturally as possible than before.
“Really?" He chuckled lightly, still holding onto you. "You've been waiting for me too?"
The leaves from the tree continued to fall toward you both, but none of you bothered to pay any attention to it-- and so did the passersby from afar.
With newfound enthusiasm, you nodded with a grin that’s now plastered on your features beautifully. The feeling of utter relief is so real for the both of you-- and the feeling just blooms even more when he wraps both of his strong arms around your form, and places his forehead against yours.
He looks extremely content, and it's such a pleasing sight to see because he's been so preoccupied with his work ( and thoughts of you ) as per usual these days so often.
But knowing that he won't have to spend the upcoming new year alone without a partner anymore-- with the woman he loves so dearly, it's all worth it in the end.
© 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚜.
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The Way Back to Him
Sanemi x reader
Warning! Heavy Angst with comfort at the end
Note: I went overboard that I'm not sure if all of you would accept the leads🥹 Early Apologies. Secondly, please inform me if Sanemi's character is too ooc. I would gladly do better next time.
~•°•~
I fell in love with the person who had a painful backstory.
__________________
"Sanemi-san, my apologies but I can't return your feelings" she muttered as I sighed and leaned my back on the wall. I notice how her grip tightens on her uniform.
"I know. Because everyone sees me as rude, it's impossible to admire my personality at all" I started before standing back up so I can walk back to my estate to rest.
"Sanemi-san, it's not like that" she exclaimed as I just looked away from her.
"Don't worry, I just want you to know about the emotions I am feeling when I'm around you. I don't expect you to return it at all" I manage to stutter out without putting most of my emotions as I saw how her eyes start to gloss.
"I..." She didn't have the heart to tell what she is thinking that made me thought to leave already.
The atmosphere is overwhelming me...
"I'll retire first" I slightly bow in her direction before turning my back at her.
"Sanemi-san!" She shouted my name that made me halt from my steps, I didn't manage to go farther yet.
Maybe because I didn't have the heart to leave her yet...
"Maybe a part of it was my reason" she stated as I felt her quick breaths while I just looked at the empty road in front of me.
"But I don't know you better than you did. I don't know your story" I felt my chest tighten on her words.
"So forgive me if I can't tolerate your impulsive and abrasive attitude that you displayed to all of us"
I turn my body to the side so I can glance at her who is looking down while trying to get a hold of herself.
"If I did..." I trailed off that made her raise her head to look at me who is facing her.
If I did...
There's a huge possibility that she would see me in a different way than the world did.
But...
"Nevermind" I didn't continue anymore before making my way back to my estate as I left the atmosphere in silence.
There is still that slight chance that she wouldn't.
Storytelling would just open their eyes to your perspective. But it wouldn't bring them the same reasons why you did it.
I need physical evidence... An evidence that can prove my love to her.
But I don't know how I can show those emotions without losing the walls I build around myself.
The walls I used to prevent myself from forgetting her.
I arrived back home and my brother decided to ruin my eardrums for the third time today.
"You confessed again! Stop fooling yourself!" He screamed and an irk mark appeared on my forehead.
"Why don't you shut up you idiot!" I screamed back at him as I harshly threw a pillow in his direction before slumping back down on the couch as my thoughts wandered around until my little brother began to speak, more serious now.
"But Big brother, you still haven't forget about her. You can't push yourself to other women when your mind is always on her! That is unfair to them!"
I look down and thought about the words he keep repeating every time this happen.
I want to move on...
Every time my heart seems to catch on a different woman other than my first love.
I convinced myself that I love them but it was never enough.
I silently went back to my room after my brother tried to register his words to my mind but it didn't help me at all.
After all, I start believing she left because she still have dreams.
Our love is the only reason to stay but she has more reasons to choose the future she planned for herself.
I tiredly grumble to myself and thinking about her just reminds her warmth on my bed.
For goodness sake Sanemi, pull yourself together.
After the sudden meeting with the Master, I decided to take a stroll in the garden to calm my nerves down on the Kamado Siblings.
No matter what, she is still a demon. The blood of those monsters is already running on her body. That won't change anything.
I stop ranting on my brain when I notice there's another presence in the garden other than me.
In that one part of the garden, I notice the visible figure of a lady who seems to be in her own world, picking some useless flowers.
I raised an eyebrow on her actions before walking towards her and my footsteps immediately warned her about my presence as she stood up from the dirt before looking back to face me.
I don't know what has gotten to me but it feels like everything became slow motion the moment she turned around to look at me.
Her hair flows with the wind as her green orbs gaze at my own.
She looks like a beautiful memory.
"What are you doing? Aren't you aware which territory you are trespassing?" I ignored how my heartbeat quickened as I looked at the small basket she was holding.
She lifted a gentle smile before bowing to me.
"I was tasked to pick up herbs from any garden by Shinobu-san. My apologies if I startled you by my presence"
Such a gentle voice from a woman like her. I thought she would stammer or even become jolly like the other servants I came across.
Yet she manages to compose herself in front of someone more superior.
"What's your status in the Butterfly Mansion?"
I asked her as she properly stood up before answering me. "I am the provider of the herbs used in the medicines"
I nod before she went back to what she was previously doing. Out of nowhere she lent me a damn flower.
What would I do with this?
"That is Lavender. It helps with stress, my Lord"
She informed me even though I didn't ask yet. My frown deeper as I held my back on throwing and stomping on it.
"How can you make sure that I'm stressed?" I ask her as she just shrugged her shoulder before showing me a playful smile.
"Well, it's really up to you if you will admit it" she confidently answered.
Point taken...
Unknowingly, I have the urge to get to know her better. Even if it was against my wishes, my human emotions is also not giving in to my plans in life.
I'm already fine with flings but it seems like fate have other plans.
I knew I fucked up when I started to look for her presence. Yearn and longed for it.
And if I found her, we spend most of our time together in the garden because I got to know that it was also her habit to teach about the herbs she is collecting.
Sometimes, she is the one who can relax my nerves without even the herb she is giving to me.
I knew I was already sinking deeper in this uncontrollable emotion.
That I want her to stay, stay beside me.
But I don't know if I can give her the happy ending that is impossible to achieve.
When my job is to annihilate the lurking demons in the land. Too dangerous to settle down.
Yet even I tried to deny, oppose, or even refuse my developing feelings for her, there is already a change in my character before I manage to prevent it.
That I want her to be with me.
And that led me to me telling my growing feelings for her. And how can I hope she would like me back?
I still remember her words as clear as now.
"I don't like your character, My Lord. Your harsh and cruel attitude. I can't tolerate it but I know there are reasons" she started as I listen to every word she has to say.
"But that is the problem too, I don't know your story, I don't know you. So I am not sure if I can manage loving you."
Her words are full of honesty and no ounce of playing. She stated her reasons and I accept every word of it.
I decided to court her that day.
In two years, I showed her my weakness, I told her my fears, I shared my reasons.
I fell first, and I fell harder
I love how her mind was opened and her ears are ready to listen.
Every single second I fell in love deeper with her until she finally accepted me as her partner.
It made me so happy, Shinobu just ruined it.
"Are, Are? I don't accept it" she told me that an irk mark appeared on my forehead.
I don't know if she is annoying me or just wants to be sadistic. I heard her sigh that made me realize she is serious.
"Sanemi, Y/n became a close friend of mine too. On your reputation for the past years, how can I be assured you would not hurt her nor break her heart?" I can feel the care she has for my partner that made me give a pat on her shoulder.
"That would not happen"
"You better be or I will kill you"
And I continue to love her, if possible, even fall deeper.
Sometimes it scared me too. I am aware that she is becoming my weakness. And every night it scared me that one day, she would leave me.
But her kisses, her gazes, and her embrace held my biggest fear away from me. I loved her even if the world end.
That was a promise I tried to keep.
"Hun?" She called me as I lingered kisses on her exposed shoulder as our naked bodies warmed each other.
I hummed and put my attention back to her and notice she is thinking of something deep.
I snake my arms around her waist before I pull her closer to me so I can lay my head on her shoulders. "What's bothering you?"
I ask her. She hesitated to open up to me that made me squeeze her hands as she let out a long breathe.
"Would you allow me to leave? So I can pursue my dreams?" She ask me and I felt my whole body froze from her words as she turned to look at me with worried look in her face.
It felt like a knife just stabbed me without letting me react.
"Am I not your dream?" I decided to tease to lighten the atmosphere around us. But she just squeezed my hands indicating she was seriously asking me.
Yet the small smile on my lips never leaves. It hurted me, really. But I don't own her.
I just love her...
"Do you need to leave just to reach it?" I ask her as I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Do you really need to leave me?
"Yes" she whispered before looking away so she won't see my face.
"Would you come back?" I asked her as I tried to prepare my heart for her answer yet silence was the only thing I heard.
I can feel the ache in my chest as I just hid my face on her shoulder.
I can't make her stay at all.
It made me question so many things, so many memories of ours. Why would she give my love a second chance if she will not stay in the end.
That was my first question.
And it can be a reason to hate her.
But I didn't have the strength to. I can't hate her, not even one bit.
"Big Brother" I heard Genya call for me, trying to get my attention as I daydream again on the same garden where I first met her.
The moment she left, the taste of bitterness never left my life. Every single day, I could never forget the person who is my first time in so many things.
Chisuzu Y/n
How can you break me so easily? Why is it easy for you to abandon me?
You were my universe, you were my world.
And you left me for a dream you could have pursued with me. Why? Out of all ways for you to hurt me, do you need to leave me completely?
What can you do Shinobu?
When your friend was the one who broke me.
"Big Brother" my younger brother called for me again. "What" It was an irritated answer and both of us knew.
I would barely keep my past self from coming back again.
I became the same person as three years ago before I met her. Realizing I felt this heartbreak because I made her my weakness.
And it was my biggest mistake.
"Slow down Sanemi. You might lose yourself if you get too drunk" I heard Tengen's words but I keep going as they just didn't bother stopping anymore.
I drowned my sorrows, I buried my pain. Yet it always ends on the same thoughts lingering on my mind.
I gave her everything, but she left me with nothing but memories.
I want her back beside me...
~•°•~
"You want to become a swordsman with that lousy tactic? You hope to become better yet you are not doing anything for it. You think you can easily pray for it and they will bless it to you?" I exclaimed to one of my students as the others stayed silent. The anger in my tone was evident that I might explode any minute because of frustrations.
"Get a grip on yourself and do better!" I shouted before the student bow and accepted my words.
"Brother" I heard Genya behind me, his tone was not the usual serious one, it was more shock and worried.
Did someone die?
"What?" I asked him with slight annoyance in my tone.
"She is back..." I felt my world stop as I didn't have the guts to look at him.
But I felt how my gaze softened even at the slight mention of her. I felt my heart quicken like the first time we met but I still didn't bother to move from my place as I tightly held on sword.
"Are you not planning to welcome her? She is now on the Butterfly Mansion..." He informed me as I huffed out in disbelief.
I don't have the heart to. All the pain I felt when she left me was still evident, was still present and felt.
But she was the first one who decided to approach me.
"Hun..." I heard her gentle call of our nickname as I felt her hand snake around my body as she laid her head on my back.
"I'm back"
I felt my eyes sting as tears started welling up on it.
I don't want to turn around, I don't want to break again.
"I'm sorry for leaving you" she murmurs as I feel my hands touch hers.
"I can't hate you..." I finally spoke out as I turned around to face her. Nothing has changed for the past two years she left.
Two years that felt like a decade.
"I'm sorry Sanemi. It was selfish of me to leave" she admitted as she tightly clung to me.
"I almost lost it" I stuttered out as the ache in my pain never left.
But I was glad
She returned back to me, safe and sound.
"I won't leave anymore. Above anything, I would always come back to you. Only you till the end." She muttered before she tipped toe to land a kiss on my lips.
"Forgive me..." She asked with her gentle gaze towards me.
And how can I resist?
"So many people already told me that you were not worth it" I cried out as I lost the strength to keep standing in front of her as she kept holding on to me.
We were both alone, crying out the pain of our hearts.
"I don't want to give up our love even though I feel like I was the only one fighting for it" I tightly clutch to her as she offered me her shoulders to cry on.
"You became a villain to everyone's eyes but you were my hero, you made me become a better person when you were here" my sobs were uncontrollable that if anyone was watching, I would lose the reputation of the heartless mentor.
But the only thing I could think of was her.
"Y/n, I really love you... I really do"
"I know, I know that very well..." It was evident in her tone that she was trying to hold herself back from crying.
I don't have the heart for revenge, nor the heart to hate her. Because our lives are short, I don't want to waste it on another long journey of pain anymore.
We can always restart again...
And I'm willing to do it as long as it was with her...
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I'm comin' apart at the seams | (Buggy x OC)
Ahhhhh, this is a birthday gift for @rorywritesjunk 🎁 I hope you like it even though it's not birthday-themed.
I chose Sunny because she's just the sweetest and I thought she'd fit this story well. I'm sure she's ooc, but I hope I captured her spirit. 🩷
Word count: ~1.8k
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, buggy x OC, buggy x sunny!!, fem OC, mentions of PIV sex, dadbod buggy
(Presumptive tag for @paperclippedmime since you were curious about the apples 👀)
Title from "Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes" by Fall Out Boy
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Something was wrong. Something has been wrong. And Buggy wasn’t sure how much longer he could hide it from Sunny. It started small. An extra shimmy to pull on his pants. A deep exhale to reach the usual notch on his belt. Unbuttoning his pants after a big meal. Then his shirts felt a little snug. Pulling on the sleeves and the bottom hem would help, but only for so long. Soon, he couldn’t tighten his belt to the same spot. The problem was growing.
Sunny made such tasty food, it was hard for Buggy to decline. Not only was the pirate addicted to his wife’s cooking, but to the smile she’d bestow when he complimented her skills. Treats came with a kiss on the cheek. Snacks were ready when his stomach grumbled. She’d set out a pastry with his morning coffee. Sunny always knew what Buggy was in the mood for before he knew. And it was always delicious.
Buggy stared at himself in the full length mirror, twisting and turning to assess the full extent of his indulgences. Was his rear always that round? Was the belly pooch new? He poked his stomach, wondering what was from years of yeasty beer and rum and what was from married life. Regardless of where the excess came from, Buggy was resolved to get rid of it before Sunny noticed.
He started by waking up before her. As the sun started to crest the horizon, Buggy would slip out of bed bit by bit and limb by limb. It was tedious, but the slow retreat kept the bed from shifting too much and allowed Sunny to stay wrapped in sleep. Once out of bed, Buggy would jog around the deck with a deep scowl on his face - a warning that anyone else awake at this hour should keep their mouth shut. He’d keep an eye on the sun’s journey and sneak back into the room just in time for Sunny to roll over and assume her husband had also just woken up and gotten out of bed.
The morning excursions weren’t enough, though, and Buggy was worried that Sunny would notice. That she would think Buggy is letting himself go. That she could do better than some chubby clown. The ache from that possible future pushed the pirate to do something he never dreamed of doing - turning down some of Sunny’s treats. The morning pastry would be ripped half to share with Sunny, even when it was his favorite one dusted in powdered sugar. (He’d still lick the sugar off his fingers, though.) Buggy would only take a bite of what Sunny would offer him and go on a tangent about how it was too good and he wanted to save space to eat it later.
Buggy might have gotten away with it all if it wasn’t for the apples. The goddamn apples.
Sunny stared at the uneaten food left on Buggy’s desk. It was a small plate with one of his favorite snacks - apple slices and peanut butter. And he didn’t take a single bite. Sunny knew her husband usually got hungry around this time of day. He hadn’t been eating well recently, so she made it look extra enticing. She peeled some of the bright red skin, leaving behind little shapes that made the slices look like bunnies. They were placed in a circle, facing the spoonful of peanut butter smeared on the center of the plate. What were once happy grazing bunnies were now oxidized bits of fruit surrounding an oily lump of ground nuts.
Footsteps entered the room behind her and Sunny turned to see Buggy. All the emotions and thoughts swirling through her burst out in one confused and upset question.
“Do you not like me anymore?”
Sunny usually wasn’t the one to carry the self-doubt in this relationship. She held the other end of that rope, doting on Buggy and reminding him of her love. But weeks of her husband sneaking away every morning, turning down the food she made him, not wanting to bathe with her, and pulling away when all she wanted was a hug had worn her down. Sunny felt raw and exposed. She felt like a forgotten apple slice.
The question wasn’t answered with words, but an embrace. Buggy wrapped his arms around her, placed a hand on the back of her head, and held her close. This was what Sunny would do whenever Buggy spouted similar fears.
“Why would you ever think that?” He asked her the same question she asked him.
“You didn’t eat your snack, Buggy.”
“I just forgot about it.” Buggy followed the fib by popping a soggy apple bunny in his mouth. “That can’t be the only reason, is it?”
Sunny shook her head against his chest, listening to the conflicted voices in her head. One told her to stop now and just enjoy the moment and enjoy the hug. The other told her that this wasn’t enough. Deciding both were right, Sunny wrapped her arms around Buggy’s waist and squeezed. She felt Buggy stiffen and try to pull away, but she held him tighter until her arms began to burn with the effort.
“No, not yet. I feel like you’ve been avoiding me,” Sunny finally confessed against his chest.
Buggy pried himself from Sunny’s hold before responding. “Never! I always want to be near you. In fact, you’re the one that banned me from the kitchen that one time.”
“You sneak out of bed early every morning.” Sunny felt a little bit of satisfaction watching the color drain from the unpainted parts of his face. “Babe, you're everywhere when you sleep. We're always touching, of course I’m going to notice when you leave, no matter how clever you think you’re being.”
Buggy opened his mouth to respond, but Sunny grabbed his hands and kept going. “Honestly, I don’t mind if you have secrets. You should have your own things, Buggy, but this feels like it involves me. Is there anything that I should know?”
“I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want you to realize that I’m not good enough for you and then you go and find a better, more sexy pirate husband, who dresses well and wears glasses and his clothes fit…” The words exploded out of Buggy’s mouth, squeezed by the anxiety wrapped around him. He tugged at the stomach of his shirt, trying to alleviate some of the constricting feeling.
The words continued even when Sunny tried to stop them with her lips. The flow only ceased when Sunny held his face in her hands, pulling his gaze to her own.
“Buggy, I already have a sexy pirate husband. I don’t want a different one.”
“R-really? Even if…?”
“Even if what? I love you as you are.” Sunny’s words were just like her. Warm, comforting, and honest. Lingering doubts that couldn’t be eased away with words, were soothed with actions later that evening.
Buggy sat on the edge of his desk with Sunny’s fingers tangled in his hair. Tugging his head back, she trailed kisses down his neck. Airy groans buzzed under her lips until she reached the collar of his shirt. Rather than waiting for him to disrobe, Sunny kept going. Running her hands along his soft stomach, through the hair on his chest, and back down to the hem of the shirt so she could pull it off.
Any protests from Buggy were kept at bay with more kisses and nips, anything to keep his mouth occupied with something other than words. Once the shirt was off, the kisses traveled down to adorn his chest and decorate the stomach he still felt sensitive about. Sunny could feel the tension in his body, the conflict of whether or not he should suck in his gut, and the desire to enjoy the moment.
Sweet words and descriptions of what lay in store for the evening were mumbled against Buggy’s body. How she likes holding his hips while sucking him off, that she loves to watch how his body moves when she’s bouncing on top of him, the way she feels so deliciously overpowered when he’s thrusting into her from behind and his heaviness presses her into the mattress. Again, words turned into actions, ones that had Buggy’s eyes rolling into the back of his head and Sunny crying his name throughout the night.
Buggy slept in the next morning. It was the first time in a long while and it felt good. Rolling over in bed, the pirate was surprised to see Sunny already awake and busy with a project. She was sewing something. Her skilled movements brought a lazy smile to Buggy’s face as he watched his wife.
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
“I think you mean sexy, pirate husband,” Buggy said in a low morning voice, earning a chuckle in response. “Whatcha doing?”
“I put a bit of elastic in your pants so they’re more comfortable. They’ll fit the same, just with a bit more stretch, see?” She held them up and demonstrated.
Feeling a quiver in his lip, Buggy wiggled closer to Sunny so he could wrap her in his arms and press his face into her abdomen. She placed a hand on his head and listened to the words he spoke against her body. They were muffled, but Sunny knew what he was saying.
---
Sunny joined Buggy on his morning jog exactly one time. Not because she didn’t enjoy it - quite the opposite, actually - but because she was unprepared. She wasn’t ready for what the pirate captain’s workout entailed.
His outfit was the first surprise. Tube socks, shorts that showed a teasing amount of thigh, a sleeveless shirt, a high ponytail, and a sweatband. Sunny didn’t even know he had some of these articles of clothing, let alone that he'd be so comfortable in them. The outfit was a gift that kept giving. The shorts crept up his legs as he moved. The top kept his shoulders and arms on display. Even though the sweatband was doing its job, sometimes Buggy would pull his shirt up and wipe the moisture from his face, giving Sunny a full view of his glistening body.
And then there were the exercises Buggy did. In addition to the jogging, he added in a few other sets. Lunges up the stairs that worked his glutes. Push-ups that flexed his arms and came with tantalizing grunts. And the worst (or was it the best) was climbing the ship’s rigging. He moved with the skill and instinct that comes from a life at sea. And it was a turn on. When Buggy got back on the deck, he pulled up his shirt to wipe his face, yet again, and Sunny had to pull him below deck for a different kind of workout.
🎂🎁🤡
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Give me your head-canons:
How do you solve the Orpheus problem?
[And as always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!]
As in: It’s the elephant in the room in so many canon-compliant or -adjacent fanfics I read (we obviously don’t need to talk about coffee shop AUs) and Orpheus either keeps on existing somehow (and no one cares, because Dream and whatever love interest just literally fuck off into the sunset and pretend everything’s okay), or he gets killed by someone else who quite strictly wouldn’t be able to kill him.
Is it a solvable problem?
If he keeps existing as a severed head, it’s honestly a bit shite for him, isn’t it? So these are the fics where we keep on visiting severed heads. I don’t know, I find that… dissatisfying.
If Dream kills him, it’s over. Unless he stays in the Dreaming and lets the storm blow over. Will it though? I mean yeah, he could sit there for all eternity (groan), not take Death’s hand and make sure he doesn’t conveniently leave so the Kindly Ones get in and start ripping the Dreaming to shreds. But that doesn’t really sound like a solution to me either, because the problem won’t go away. Also: Probably no meetings in the waking world with you-know-who ever again. Plot hole, people, it doesn’t work that way.
If someone else kills him: Who? Please don’t say Hob, I know he’s immortal (so was Murphy), but the very idea is that no one can kill the poor kid because he made a deal with Death, which she apparently can’t revoke. Is there an entity who could? Which links in to the question: Why could Dream (somewhat rhetorical question)? Could any similar entity do it if they also had to grant him a boon? But don’t forget: Can’t be one of the Endless, they’re all family. Unless one sacrifices themselves. I mean, I think I’ve seen Death doing that in a fic somewhere, I think the assumption was she’s okay with dying a mortal death, but I also felt that’s not quite right, since it’s just not the same (also: in her mortal form, she wouldn’t have those powers). Does it have to be The Presence/Glory? Why would they care?
Yeah, he could use the Saeculum I guess, but really? If the problem never existed, it would also feel… wrong? Plus, we all know that changing the past always has implications on the future that go far beyond the thing we want to change. Plus plus: I honestly think it would be a bit OOC for him because he’d feel there’s not enough at stake (like a whole universe imploding) to ever justify that. So no, that’s, IMHO, making him into someone he really isn’t (can of course be an option in fanfic I guess).
Same goes for the Dream of a Thousand Cats Spiel. Someone who is so wrapped up in his duty just wouldn’t do that for his own personal gain, and not even for one loved one (he also wouldn’t be allowed to kick it off by telling anyone, and what 1,000 dreamers would dream that? I mean, WE all would, but that’s a bit… meta?😂). I said what I said.
Or is it some sort of magic? Like, he’s still a severed head, but we make him *think* he isn’t, give him back a body (in his own mind, or maybe even for real)? But that’s also… not great and feels like gaslighting him. Really not keen.
So what say you?
Is this just a case of: Unsolvable problem, hence we might as well pretend we solve it in some ridiculous way or pretend it doesn’t exist in the first place?
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