#......like long term i just dont know how the fuck im gonna move out

[glitchdollmemoria]

that last post mentioning masks got me thinking about how like... i quite literally cannot wear a mask at all times due to one of my disabilities. i TRY to wear one when i can but it isnt always an option for me, which fucking sucks because im terrified of getting sick and potentially worsening the very disability that prevents me from consistently masking. and hardly anyone masks anymore so its not like theyre helping to keep me or anyone else safe lmfao. to spell it out very plainly i am PRO-MASK so dont put words in my mouth here please.

i experience heat intolerance, as a symptom of some kind of muscle weakness fatigue issue that still hasnt been properly diagnosed. my body temperature runs warm, im overly sensitive to my environment, and physical activity makes it worse. if i overheat, my muscle weakness (and nausea, and brain fog, and-) will flare up and ill be forced to rest for what could range from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months depending on how bad it is. i have to take IMMEDIATE action when i notice myself getting too warm because i cant risk that, and taking immediate action includes removing anything i can thats keeping me warm, including masks.

so when i walk to work in the summer bc i have exactly zero alternate options? most likely cant mask right away when i come in unless the weather is cooler than usual, because i need to take like half an hour for my body temperature to go back to normal.

moving around more than usual during my shift? the physical activity is gonna increase my temperature and ill have to take my mask off.

going somewhere other than work, having to either walk or take the bus? either way i have to spend time in the sun and so again i will probably need a cool down period once i get inside / on the bus, depending on how hot the weather is.

and theres an intersection here of my multiple disabilities and my poverty. i cant drive due to another illness, and i cant afford to use a rideshare service or even regularly take the bus, so walking in the heat is my only option to get to work. my work options are limited because i couldnt complete college and cant perform heavy physical labor, so i have to stick with a retail job that requires a lot of moving throughout the store, which itself is physical labor that can potentially make me sick if i go overboard.

mostly i just wanted to put this out there because i never really see people talk about actual reasons they cant wear masks, its almost always antimaskers who dont give a damn about people like me. but if you take anything from my ranting, let it be these two points:

while most people who dont wear masks are just making that choice because they dont like doing so or dont think its important anymore, a few of us out here literally cannot always mask despite knowing its a risk to ourselves and others; and

IF YOU CAN MASK PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MASKING. covid still exists! disabled people still exist! many of us are extra susceptible to the long term effects of covid! please fucking help to protect us! please give a shit about us! i feel like im shouting into the void here because i hardly see anyone mask anymore but please.

#ok to rb #just a couple weeks ago my roommate got sick with a covid scare and it was fucking terrifying to think i might catch it again #i know most people see covid as something mostly or entirely in the past but it isnt #and some of us are still scared and trying to survive #spoonie #covid #covid cw

[sieglinde-freud]

but what if the entire lucina gang were sent to fates instead of just 3??

ANON IM SORRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE FIVE YEARS TO GET TO i got the ask and i was like “omg i literally have something in my notes about this i’ll pull it up when i have time” and then i just fucking forgot. sorry. and then i remembered again. and then life started like rapid fire punching me in the face. but im here now im answering it now im so sorry anyways its probably gonna be long and unorganized so cut

okay anyways so i think there’s a lot of different ways you can implement the second gen into fates and firstly my favorite and also the most stupid way to do so and also what i have in my notes is to split em all up between the four nohrian royals. they all get three new retainers from bumfuck nowhere and it makes no sense and it creates the worst dynamics ever. i assigned them like this:

xander: inigo, kjelle, laurent

camilla: severa, noire, yarne

leo: owain, cynthia, nah

elise: gerome, brady, lucina

and then morgans not there bc they throw off the even split but i think in that case, maybe corrin gets both of them? i think thatd be cute. anyways i’d be willing to move any of them like im not that attached to these placements, but i quite like the potential lord retainer dynamics that happen here. kjelle and laurent might seem a bit too similar to xander in terms of stoicism but hear me out. i think raging feminist man hating lesbian kjelle being tossed to work under xander would be fucking hilarious. you know how inigo almost beat xander in that match? guess who’d wipe the floor with him. and then i think laurents like. like laurent is normal passing. but you see he also has the pent up rage of an bullied 13 year old soon to be if not corrected incel and i think having that be explored with xander would be actually fucking hilarious. imagine one day xander is just like “hey laurent can you do something for me?” and laurent, whos been dealing with reeling back in inigo and kjelle (and uh. maybe peri if shes still here i havent thought that part through) and is absolutely sick of everyones bullshit just snaps and goes “NO! NO I FUCKING CANT!” and everyone in nohr just has this feeling of unease. something in the universe just broke.

and then with camilla i was like “well who would she dote on the most” and i picked noire and yarne. i can understand why yarne might be controversial because he is not a cute girl HOWEVER consider that he IS a cute rabbit. very cute. and hes terrified of everything all the time. i think camilla would find that charming and i think he would be terrified of her but also like. extremely devoted?? like i think he’d respect and look up to her a lot. just. just let me do that twenty feet away from you. please (lonqu!yarne????) but also i think theres very motherlike aspect to camilla that i think could eventually break through yarnes anxiety if she just started approaching him a little differently. and also the fact that shes one of nohrs best warriors and would murder anyone who comes close to harming him would probably help feel a little more secure in not dying. like it wouldnt fix him but it might help. and then noire is similar except she IS a cute girl and also i think camilla would be insanely into her talisman persona. make of that what you will i dont know but also going back to camilla as a motherish figure so obviously all of the future kids moms kicked the bucket meaning they all lacked proper mother figures for a good chunk of their lives, but noire never really had a proper mother figure… at all? bc bad timeline tharja was fucking abusive! so i think if she could find some of what she was missing in camilla, whether of not its particularly healthy i dont know but i think if she could that’d set up something interesting between them. theres also the fact that camilla and tharja are slightly similar in their callousness, only that camillas isnt aimed at her allies like tharjas sometimes is. i think that could actually end up being really comforting for noire in an oddly familiar way. healthy? debatable. but… interesting. DO YOU GUYS SEE MY VISION AM I INSANE

and then leo. ok im iffy on these guys like i could move them. but i think cynthia would be a nice retainer for leo to have bc i think they could have a fun “woah youre so cool! like a real hero” “im not the hero you think i am or want me to be” conversation and that wouldnt require cynthia to be his retainer to have but i think it would be nice. im not sure he’d send her on the same missions he sent odin on because shes not cosplaying as the worlds greatest mage (… or is she… no i dont think she’d abandon her pegasus) so theyd get on a lot easier at first. nah is here because i wanted to give leo a break and also i think leo being curious about a manakete thats similar but also not too much similar to corrin would be interesting. idk tho this is my least favorite placement. would be willing to switch.

and then for elise’s new retainers its interesting because shes the only nohr royal who didnt get an awakening kid so. ive given her three new ones. ger bear is here bc i think itd be fucking hilarious. yes, maybe itd make more sense to put him with xander or leo. i dont care though. i want him to bow down to the littlest princess of nohr, nohrs absolute sunshine, blah blah blah. also i think it’d be good for him. dude needs some sunshine. brady i was a little iffy on. i almost placed him with leo and im not sure where i prefer him actually, but i stuck him with elise because i think in some way, elise might, at first glance, remind him a bit of his mother. and kinda like with noire im not sure if its the healthiest way to go about his grief because elise is evidently not maribelle, but i think it could be a fun little arc for him to go through to try and break that image and learn to not project everything he wished maribelle couldve done for him onto elise. bradys a real funky guy i want him to go through some turmoil. and then lucina is here because i love their warriors support conversation and i think lucina being around elise could be so incredibly healing to the part of her that never got a chance to be a kid. and elise is a really fucking smart character yk i think she’d catch on really easily to how much lucina represses and try to bring it out of her. actually this goes for gerome and brady too i think she’d see a lot of her siblings in them and try to bring out as much of their childishness as she can because FUCK!!! these bitches are SAD!!! send help!!

this au is incredibly unrealistic and jambled but i just like thinking about it. i have no idea how this would affect the plot of fates. nohr’s army just gets a huge fucking power boost i guess???? they could probably kill anankos on their own. i believe it. but im quite honestly not all that interested in the giant plot i just like thinking about how the characters might interact and change. the nohrian royals and the awakening gen are just. so insane. and i didnt even bring up the rest of the fates cast (this post is fucking LONG ENOUGH) but i will be thinking. oh yes i will be thinking.

#anon im so fucking sorry #but thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a lil stupid and insane about what goes on inside my notes app #if u guys are wondering if i have any semblance of a plot for any of this the answer is no #i didnt have a single other thought while writing this like this is me typing exactly what hit my brain and how it hit #no idea if its even understandable #asks

[marzonfloor]

PSA:This is a long thing thats just involving my personal issues. Dont feel like you have to read or comment anything. Its just me being sad.

Lost a friend yesterday. She doesn't wanna be my friend anymore. Its my fault but it still hurts a lot. I cried today. We ended off on okay terms though. I asked if we could still be civil and talk sometimes and if its okay to her and she said yes. I hope she doesn't talk shit about me to other people but I dont think shes that person at all. I still have all the love in the world for her and hope shes succeeds. Itd be so much more different if we hated eachother but we dont at least I dont. It also sucks because as of right now she has no social medias but if she were to get them again I wouldnt be on there. Id slowly start to know nothing about her. Id only have the memories. Which speaking of socials since she fully deleted her snapchat if she makes a new one she wont have the old memories unlike me. I cant scroll my memories too much or i will just see her and everything. I get the memories and I guess thats part of my punishment for fucking up. She gets new while Im stuck with the ghosts. I mean she hasn't deleted me off duolingo,pinterest,and airbuds so maybe itll be fine. Im just very sad. Also she lives one street away from me. So im not longer taking the bus in the mornings because if I see her for a while I think id start sobbing violently. This is so much but I can type long on here twitter doesn't have that. I wonder if our mutuals will take sides. Theyd take hers understanbly. It also sucks bc I dont have a the screenahot of the long message sent I back incase some how she does say something mean. I do wish ahed ask to try and be friends again but I get it. Plus people grow and move on. I need to also. Im just so sad at the moment. At least she didnt send it on Christmas but the day after. Im so ill. I shouldnt even get the luxury to feel bad because this is all my fault. I have never tried to make her feel bad. I feel awful that I have. Atleast its the last year of highschool and I'll never see her again. If I do though see her in 10,15 or even 20 years later id probably still feel like vomiting or dying because I went from at least I think knowing her pretty well in my opinion to then 10 years later knowing absolutely nothing about someone i once called me best friend. Who probably out of everyone knew me the best. Truly knew me. This is so long but im so sad lmao. It's selfish to hope she might miss me but I do. I hope she doesn't look back at everything and feels angry. Maybe happy for overall everything. I dont know. Im gonna throw up. Shes amazing though. Whoever gets to call her a friend is a lucky person. Shes the best you could get. I could only hope she has a little bit of kindness spared towards me still and mayeb thinks of me .

[xoryugujixo]

“𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈?“

𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩!𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

cw: facefucking, use of a vibrator, facial, degradation, slight hair pulling, barley implied chubby reader, slight bimbo reader

masterlist

as always kaminari was sitting in front of his PC and you laying on his bed watching his finger furiously working the keyboard, with the LEDs radiating against his milky skin. and of course, they were displaying the color pink because as soon as you walked inside his small slightly messy room it was the first thing you commented on.

laying on his bed was getting more and more bored by the second. especially when you were promised a good time upon arrival.

“kami, it's s’boringgg, can we do something, please?”

“yeah just a sec babe,” releasing a long whine as this was the third time he’s said this. assuming denki is no long even listening to your words anymore and just letting out an automated response whenever his ears pick up your voice. so instead of sitting on his bed for the rest of your visit, you walk over to him to see what has him so invested on the screen.

wrapping your arms around his shoulders and placing your head on top of his. “what game even is this kami?” in this position, he was unable to answer as his mind went blank. maybe it was because kaminari could feel your warm plush tummy pushed against his back or how he felt the steadiness of your breathing.

“umm, i-it’s something new y’know,” he stuttered out with flushed cheeks and a small smile. but you were too distracted by his discord chat to notice the red renting his ears.

“what does glazed mean kami?” you asked squinting your eyes to see the continues messages pop up. kaminari wasn’t able to comprehend what had just left you in a pouted lip confusion.

flexseal💪💯: get glazed bitch 💀

a true loss for words, kaminari had no idea what to say. he knew you weren’t really into gaming that much so he doesn’t blame you for not knowing some terms.

“kami are you okay? i’m sorry if i did something wrong.”

he was starting to lose it. denki always had a thing for your innocence in these type of situations, even though you both were far from it.

“no i promise you haven’t! it’s j-just.. you re-remember last night right?”

you were left stumped for a second trying to figure out what you boyfriend was referring to, then it hit you like a truck.

================★=================

“fuck baby, you always take me so good.”

this sentence always went straight down to your pulsating sex, influencing more clear nectar to spill its way out onto the vibrator underneath you. especially when his swollen cock was stuffed in your throat.

“why dont you look up with those big brain-dead eyes babe." doing as told, looking up at denki as best as you could even as he rammed you throat.

"and keep moving those fucking hips bitch. dont think i didn't notice you stopped."

even if it was agonizing you listened as always, because with this view who would complain. denki's thighs were spread, sweat glistening on his torso and chest, and his head thrown back with loud whimpers escaping.

he slowly brought up a hand to the back of you head to get a firm grasp on your hair releasing a breathy string of curses.

“shit, i don’t know if im gonna last," the whines that left his mouth only made you only rut harder against the vibrator.

“f-fuck y/n!”

expecting the usual warm salty nectar to spill into your mouth instead you feel something land on the center of your forehead and cheeks. being startled when it starts to drip down restricting your vision.

“oh! sorry babe give me one sec!”

================★=================

“nope, i kinda forgot. can you show me?”

#anime smut #gn reader #denki kaminari smut #denki kaminari x y/n #male reader #fem reader #x reader #reader insert #bnha smut #mha smut

[wizisbored]

I can imagine after the wall goes down that nimona and Ballistor would be interested in visiting places, and one of the places they visit is where they run into Lydia, and Nimona can see an unsummoned Beetlejuice and is probably excited to meet someone special or weird like her. Ballistor has some reservations about it, but he'd warm up to him, once he was summoned and he could see him and Lydia explained some things.

if theyre gonna be leaving the kingdom for au purposes, im tempted to say fuck it go all the way and have them fully leave leave. nimona, ballister and ambrosius. they tried to swing it for a while, stuck around for maybe as long as a few years after it all went down, but it just wasnt working out. it's absolutely impossible for any of them to live a normal life, nimona especially - most people hail her as a hero, which is stressful in its own right, but there's also a not-insignificant number who still want 'gloreths monster' dead, and they know who she is now.

so the three of them skip town, and end up in a small town in rural conneticut. they dont plan on hiding nimona's abilities forever, but decide to lay low for a period to scope out the towns general level of weirdness-acceptance first. so they move in under the guise of a young gay couple who have gaurdianship of a teenager for unspecified reasons, and own various pets that are never seen in the same place at the same time.

it's been a while since the events of beetlejuice the musical, and beej is kinda hovering around the deetzs. lydia hasnt resummoned him and he hasnt asked her to. yet. theyre back on friendly terms, though im not sure about him and the rest of the family.

the two groups meet when charles decides to invite the new neighbours over for dinner. nimona is calling herself seventeen so she's supposedly a year or two older than lydia, and lydia thinks shes cool as shit. even though lydia isnt young enough to really trigger nimonas discomfort with small children she isnt used to interacting with kids and it takes her a bit to warm up, but lydia isnt the best at socialising with people (supposedly) her age either so they kinda fumble through it together. turns out theyve got a fair bit in common and by the end of the evening theyre getting along pretty well. goth/punk solidarity.

nimona cant neccesarily see ghosts, but she can sense them. beetlejuice isnt around for the dinner but she is far more aware of the maitlands' presence than ballister or ambrosius. she has no idea what it is, and doesnt bring it up until they're back home afterwards.

so nimona and lydia keep hanging out. a few times beetlejuice tags along, and nimona can feel him lingering around, and it feels the way a dog trying to bite a fly out of the air looks, if that makes sense. nimona stays human-shaped around lydia but there is something distinctly off about her, to lydia. maybe on some level she can sense what nimona is, but ill have to figure that out after ive considered how the magic/supernatural lore of the two medias is going to mix. she also thinks theres something odd about the various 'pets' nimona's family owns. theyre all some variation of reddish-brown, chestnut, ginger, or tan with no exception. the dog looks at least half wolf. her own cat, percy, hates theirs. she sees ballister riding a horse bareback around the edge of town sometimes, and it always feels like the horse is avoiding eye contact. and she has never seen nimona interact with any of them, or even be in the same room.

nimona finds out about the ghosts before lydia finds out about her, but it happens in quick sucession. eventually lydia is confident enough that she could ask nimona if she believes in life after death and she'd answer honestly. so she asks, and nimona - as someone who died and then got better - says yes quite confidently. so lydia pretty much spills everything, and nimona's reaction to hearing about beetlejuice is 'oh thank FUCK i can stop pretending to be human in front of you'

#im gonna need a new au tag arent i #bj/nimona au

[k1ngj0ve]

Had a long convo about Bisexual Pickles(the drummer), gonna edit it to be readable

(initially this was a convo about how Murderface would be into Semen Retention and claiming being with women is gay, and pickles doesnt get involved because hes had sex with men before)

Friend: I feel like one interpretation of Pickles could be that he doesn't think it's "gay" to have sex with men. so he thinks he's "straight" and that fucking the same gender occasionally is a thing EVERYONE DOES Me: pickles doesnt strike me as a 'has thought deeply about his sexual identity' or 'has done research on terminology'. if he has any terminology at all its some rare 80s term that was thrown around casually in 1 district of LA during a 2 year period. hes like 'oh im just what they used to call a butter nutter' and no one has any idea what that is

Friend: he's from the generation where "bisexual" means a girl fucking two men in porn or something, he never considered it's a label that can apply to real people

Me: this all came out because he was accidentally being interviewed by an lgbt magazine and didnt know it, having a great time with dudes that understand him and can relate to big gender-weird sex parties

and then the article comes out and its front page like 'pickles is bisexual' And hes SO MAD and he spends half the episode making a big deal about it, until someone finally defines it for him (i think swkisgaar wouldve been trying but wouldve reached a language barrier, hes getting so pissed)

until finally someone explains it to pickles and hes forced to deflate like "..oh. i guess that is.. what i .. am.. then… '. Hes so upset to have a label though. He wants himself to be UNLABELLED. he liked the mystery

Friend: Like a younger version of creed https://youtu.be/2JO3oJybBTw

Me: Thats funny XD "im not offended by gay people" and then relates about how he fucked this dude 15 times over a 3 day bender and how it was some of the best sex he ever had and they met up every saturday night for the entire summer until that dude came out to him as gay and pickles had to end it which always bummed him out because they had a real connection you know

Friend: the poor guy thought they were gay dating out and proud and it turns out Pickles didn't realize kissing another man in the mouth and holding his hand while getting ice cream is gay

Me: pickles talks about it in a way that strongly implies he was in love and wanted to spend the rest of his life with this dude, they bought a puppy together "but then i found out he was gay so i had to break up move out"

Friend: RIP

Me: in that dethklok way where youre just like "what the fuck goes on in your head, how do you think anything works"

Friend: he thought they would have to get a little purse dog and both of them would become hairdressers

Me: 'i dont wanna be a wedding planner'

Friend: "I don't want to move to San Francisco :("

Me: i am really pleased by my mental image of skwisgaar like yelling at pickles trying to explain that bisexuality is fine and normal but not having the language to do so. just fully not in english, and the parts in english Can Not Be PArsed. he means well and keeps trying to help and he just gets angrier every time

Finally screaming like 'SITS DOWN, SHUTS UP, YOUS GONNA LISTENS SHJSJFHEHSJAN' and then a plain looking person next to him clears their through slightly and goes "Skwisgaar says "Please sit down and be quiet, I have hired a swedish interpreter to help communicate" then gives this really heartfelt and informative speech telling pickles its okay to be who he is

#metalocalypse #pickles the drummer #bisexual pickles #snb pickles #skwisgaar skwigelf #dethklok

[imustbenuts]

kzmj anon again hi. the weird relationships with the cabaret girls in k2 sucks so bad it really feels like the devs went uh sorry for making the majima everywhere system so homoerotically charged here take some dubiously ethical heterosexuality with 0 chemistry

hi kzmj anon senpai

yeah it is. soooo forced. this feels a lot like the game saying "kiryu is straight we swear" when. majima. exists in the game and did all of that MES in k1, had kiryu outright admit that he feels more relaxed in front of goromi than the cabaret girls. when in y0 kiryu was presented with oda's feelings towards tachibana point blank with oda saying he liked tachibana in the non-platonic sense here

and then having rina swinging a sledgehammer to kiryu's sense of heterosexuality to the point that he had to sort it out on some level...

basically the concept of same-sex attraction has already been shoved into his mind, but the game pretends like it never happened or that kiryu was incapable of considering it. which is. a big contradiction if im supposed to believe that the guy has compassion and empathy to the point of accepting all the misfits he comes across...

it feels like backtracking and being insincere and unwilling to commit to a possibility of kiryu self-reflecting before k2 starts. this brute forcing is not working. i see some minor sparks with kaoru sayama and kiryu 10 hours into k2 but im pretty sure they are gonna fumble the bag so hard given the vibes im picking up overall.

kiryu in yk2 needs like. a female platonic bestie. someone he talks to on the same level with seonhee in y8 (their interactions are fucking amazing, more of THAT please)

ofc there can be a possibility that he isnt the type of person/character to reflect or apply that empathy and compassion to himself. bc he sure is doing some weird things in the name of chivalry and short term goals

after playing y1k my pet peeve is just how insincere parts of the story overall feels. how embarrassment seems baked into the series and even kiryu himself so far because they didn't want to fucking commit (just like kiryu's reflecting bucket list thing going on in y8).

ironically because majima is actually sincere and utterly shameless about his nonsense, majima ends up being best character by default imo so far. >_>;;

im just. genuinely baffled about some of the writing choices here even for the female interests. like u say theres little to no chemistry. i dont know what normal everyday things kiryu and this lady friend would enjoy together and talk about.

(and also part where yumi essentially gets killed for daring to try to move on with jingu while her love is in jail: what the actual fuck, man. still pisses me off thinking about it. this is straight up evil on the ethical heterosexuality scale.)

sorry it got too long, i wanted to justify how im open to straight kiryu if the writing wasnt so garbage. im resonating with some of the ace vibes im picking up from this character but. im just. ggggrh... the girls are written like utter shit outside of y7 and y8 it feels like too.

#yakuza #kiryu kazuma

[blacktinnedpeaches]

had a weird wig sale day yesterday. i did make £400 so i truly cant complain but i felt like the ugliest wig was the most beloved + i was very confused bc my favourite ones got literally zero love... ill post the wigs at the end of the post + you can all tell me which wig is the ugliest one. and i'll tell you if you're right

i emailed a UK doll convention too to see if they have any vendor spacecs bc i think a cash injection a few times a year would be really good (altho i have never done cons before so fuck knows how this is gonna go). ben offered to come along + help out as well and he's actually done that for ana too so i'll allow it

benno fucked me like a champ this weekend - he's so good! im so lucky!!!! in related news though the huge pink vibrator (long term followers may remember when i bought it + did not check the specs beforehand) i think may be broken lol hmm (it only vibrates if you hold it at specific angles... lol)... hmmm

site is late paying me again. fucking !!!!!!!

i am feeling quite worried about work (see point no.1) but im in contact with a nice alpaca woman who is willing to sell me her champion alpaca fleece for £240 for 4kg. (reminder that i bought 3kg for £70 last week) honestly i probably will buy it even tho that's a lot of fucking money - £60 per kilo is more than ive ever spoent on alpaca - the prev most expensive was 50 - bc it's 15/16 inches lon which is a very very rare length, and i can charge more accordingly. the profit margin is still staggering to be honest so i shouldn't really fuss too much

honestly i wouldnt be so worried about money if we weren't getting married in 3 months bc we still have a shit ton to pay for. HOWEVER my parents have been consistent about saying they will pay for whatever is asked, so i think possibly my worrying is unnecessary, but ana is suspicious that they're gonna pull out of this offer @ the last minute. i actually dont think this is likely (ben doesnt either) bc they've always actually been hugely financially generous (if emotionally devastating) like they paid for everything (rent/food/literally everything) when i was in uni, never asked me for rent when i moved back home, my dad pretended not to notice me buying groceries on his debit card for years - like i really dont think ana is right on this one. but until i actually have the money in my hands i will be nervous. they have a fair reason for not sending me money also - my granddad's will money hasn't cleared yet + they're just waiting for that these are the wigs anyway

the only colourway anyone gave a shit about was the red/black omg i was so shaken bc i think it's hideous + really unsubtle and i only made it bc i thought it would be popular. which to be fair it was but i think it's vile. that blonde ombre is basically perfect, a really really pretty blend with no colour where it shouldnt be, and NO ONE CARED!!! ETA: shortly a fter publishing this post someone did enquire about the blonde one. thank you that's better

[chloeangelic]

Girl the way I want you to drop your working out routine and diet…

Hiiii okay very late answer below SORRY

CW exercise, food/diet, all that. If you have an issue with me posting or talking about this, dont click the read more and then complain about it, capiche? :))))  just move along, nothing to see here

I know a lot of people would answer stuff like this with “i am not a professional” however i am actually an exercise professional with several certifications and licenses, so this is not me giving advice or telling you what you should do, this is just what i personally do. i have a very positive relationship to food and exercise after working out for a decade so im pretty laid back about all of it  

Exercise wise, i lift 3x a week and i pole dance 1-2x a week. As for lifting, i do full body every time, all free weights and no machines. I dont do cardio or abs cause i think its boring and i dont track how many calories i burn cause i dont care. I find it boring to do upper body/leg days so i prefer doing a mix. My set and rep range is anywhere from 3x3 to 4x18 depending on the exercise. I do progressive overload, meaning i do the same 3 sets of different exercises every week but it gets a little more intense every time either in terms of weight increasing or reps increasing. The only exercise i do twice a week is hip thrust. My goals are to build strength and muscle and this has worked well for me so im happy. Sometimes i ditch working out or pole to write but i stay mostly consistent 

Diet wise, i have celiac disease and i dont eat out very often, so those are kinda the two main things. I make all my own food cause i have no other options haha 

The best diet advice i ever received was to have a source of protein, fat and carbs in every meal and thats what i follow. This is gonna sound boring but the things i eat the most are gf bread, eggs, chicken sausages, generic brand nutella, greek yogurt, granola, berries, different varieties of pasta, chicken, fish, beef, prawns, rice, veggies, granola bars, dark chocolate and ice cream (a pint can last me a long time cause i find it v filling for some reason). I usually make the same type of stuff my mom made growing up which is kind of a mix of different stuff. When i have the time, i like making lebanese or palestinian food (my fav food ever is shish tawook), and I also like to put toum (whipped garlic sauce) on everything. When i go out with my friends or order in, i tend to get fried chicken, sushi or middle eastern food. i love candy, cake, cookies and all other desserts yum yum yum i eat dessert every day and idc if anyone has an issue w it

Im the type who loses my appetite if im stressed, and my metabolism has gotten high from working out for so long that it can be difficult to eat enough, especially protein, and that always leaves me feeling v tired and shitty the next day cause i cant sustain the energy expenditure, so i try to make my meals very calorically dense cause theres just a limit to how much i can chew and swallow. i often drink blackberry/cranberry canada dry ginger ale cause they fucking SLAP and also its extra carbs i dont have to shove down my gullet

Thats pretty much it. I take creatine but thats the only supplement i take cause protein powder tastes terrible. I got an ask about creatine and will respond to that soon as well :p

#tw exercise #tw food #chloe answers

[himbos-hotline]

What do you think needs improvement in wwe and aew

OKAY so prefancing this by the fact I have not watch WWE in over a year and the only things I know about WWE now is what im getting from tumblr

both companies need to stop relying on the old stars/ old wrestlers needing either a money hit or a cash hit or like another grasp at talent. as much as I LOVE daddy ass and re-living my childhood in wrestling but like I get sooo tired of seeing people relive the glory days when they shouldnt *cough* ric flair *cough*. like theres sooo many talented younger wrestlers that arent getting shown on TV/ in the companies because older wrestlers get quick pops because of the nostalgia run. I see goldberg one more time I will actually explode.

Aew needs to book more womens matches and treat them at the same like bundle and preface as men! Like give us a womans blood and guts!! and more womens matches in genearal where its more of a rough and tumble vibe with blood. My favourite womens match is the thunder rosa brit baker cage match!! Also give me more nyla like I love nyla rose sooo much and shes so talented and cool and I wanna see her wrestle more

also things that feel like "small" tag teams, like the best friends, arent being like shown how talent they are. I know that sentence doesnt make sense. But re-watching aew during the pandemic era- where you had the trent vs kenny match it was so good and it really showwed just how cool and talented trent is in the ring and I think both him and chuck should be allowed to wrestle more and actually wrestle like do moves and win matches, theyre not just to push other talent or let newer tag teams win, its kinda depressing when taented wrestlers arent used in the way they deserve too

another thing and this is just for me, maybe this is just for me. Like long term storytelling suddenly either being shifted/stopped. Like do you remember when mox was facing [I think its either max or jericho] and someone like attacked him backstage and we NEVER EVER got told/figured out who attacked him and its kinda just been forgotten? ALSO as much as I love the elite and the hangkenny storyline and hangman rejoining the elite. He caused so much issues and trouble with everything and he hurt them, like matt said that bte episode "it hurt my heart" and theyve all like, just kinda accpeted him back. No like deep apology or "you have to prove yourself" or whatever. Its like they forgot the entire three year story they told. Also kenny finding out about the fucking nod- it could have been done so much deeper and sadder and emotional, the bucks have been there with kenny since his breakdown/breakup with kota and theyve always had his back until the one moment he needed them and they sided with hangman. But instead of all of that we got "k its cool" and I dont know if its gonna like come back up after all the kenny dealing with callis emotions is gone. Cuz thats gotta like fuck someone up mentally, suddenly loosing that abusive manipultive hold on you suddenly disappearing.

and FANS!! like, I love wrestling fans but also god I hate them so much. Guys, Guys I am begging y'all to stop showing wrestlers fanfics/ship-fanart and everything else. its not like made FOR them its made FOR other fans. I wouldnt want to be exposed to being shipped with my friends by people online. Like....ugh. ALSO like a small thing that pisses me off is fans thinking we can like, touch them in sexual ways. this is mostly cis-het men touching cis women wrestlers on their asses and tits. Like you wouldnt like if someone fondled your dick without asking. Concent is important and its not just for ike, fucking. its for every single thing in life. Yall can cuddle the wrestlers if they say you can but god if youre making people uncomfortable and gross its fucking bullshit and youre a sucky human being.

#this is mostly just a vent im sorry #mouse has pals #anon notes

[amethiosspouse]

it's time for mari's random infodump:

i was originally going to make this a very long post about my yumes but anai's character as a whole is too confusing and honestly, not even game theory could dissect the amount of lore anai has:

scrapped ideas and an ungodly amount of anai lore from multiple different franchises:

-anai was actually supposed to be shipped with malleus (because i liked him at the time) but due to the age gap, i scrapped it (i didnt like how mal was 600+ and anai was 17) -they were then shipped w riddle for quite some time and i even ended up making ship art of them. -anai was based of the white rabbit but i didnt wanna whitewash (is that the right term) them so i just made them random ass rabbit -their overblot form was a whole withered bonnie mech suit mixed w some BATIM-style aesthetic -anai's dorm uniform was based of this:

now, moving on to enstars anai :>

-from memory, anai was originally shipped with kohaku and they were the producer for crazy:b -i sort of followed some kind of rich prince x pheasant sort of trope for their ship -anai's family wasn't as rich as kohaku's family and (from memory) his family prevented him from hanging out with anai. -i forgot most of the story but all i remember is trying to make some kind of ai cover for anai and kohaku to sing Just Be Friends (it never worked) and that at some point, Tsukasa was actually gonna be anai's love interest

FUCK IT, GENSHIN ANAI LORE:

-genshin anai was made all the way back in 2021 during my horrendous xiao era. -they were the pyro yaksha basically and from memory, they were rebirthed? idk -WAIT, I REMEMBER -ok so bear with me here, anai was basically this young girl from natlan who died in the archon war while trying to see their father again (who was in liyue). from memory, zhongli used ANAI'S DEAD BODY to try and sort of bring back to life the dead pyro yaksha but failed to do so because of 1. the body's horrendous state and 2. the power was too much for the body to handle. -they were obviously shipped with xiao -BUT THIS WAS SCRAPPED AND LATER REUSED (we'll get to that) -i remember anai got shipped with albedo as well as kaeya but i eventually settled for scara. -now back to the dead body part -this version of anai's story is much more messier -anai was a descendant of murata - the pyro archon. it was never specified if they were a direct descendant or just had some muratan?? blood in them. -anyways they were basically this very famous dancer who was prett well known (who was a half human half hybrid rabbit faunus or smth) and their name wasnt anai, it was clover. -basically clovers sister was jealous of their success and they killed clover. -murata literally did the same thing that zhongli did to anai in their earlier stories but she tried to bring back the dead pyro archon -it somehow worked -i honestly dont know how anai met scaramouche but basically they met him when he was still known as kabukimono/kunikuzushi (keep in mind, all of this was written before 3.1) -i basically ripped off dirty little traitor for some reason 💀 -after scara ran away w the gnosis and whatnot anai lore kinda just became messier from there -after the events of 3.1 i redid the whole ending for anai -THEY WERE SHIIPED WITH CYNO CUZ SCARA PUSHED THEM OFF HIS TRANSFORMERS ROBOT OR SOMETHING -no more genshin anai lore because its hurting my head just trying to remember how badly i fucked up their lore -LIKE THEIR LORE IS SO BAD NOT EVEN MATPAT COULD SOLVE THIS GAME THEORY

im literally getting so tired of explaining every single little tiny detail of what happened to anai in every single canon universe i threw them in so lemme spare you some details and whatnot

obey me anai: asmo's boyfriend (im not even joking thats all i remember of obey me anai)

prsk anai: they werent an official niigo member but they did help out w lyrics (cuz mafuyu was their sister omg wow !!), shipped with toya

milgram anai: they were basically hanging out w the wrong group of people due to how naive they were when they were younger, anai was 'forced' to blow up a city mall as a dare but they backed down last minute (their friends ended up detonating the bomb and at good portion of the mall was blown up and quite a number of people died, they were framed for that incident and was sent to the milgram prison, they were shipped w fuuta and from memory they were related to es

hypmic anai: spoiled daddy's girl. basically all them stereotypical mean girls who'd be like "my daddy can sue you" and whatnot. they had a good amount of backstory but theres no way im typing that all out. they were shipped with doppo

IVE HAD ENOUGH OF TALKING ABOUT ANAI AND IM SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR TIME, GOODBYE

#self insert #yume oc #long ramble #idk how to tag this #self insert oc #a very ungodly amount of lore/info #HOLY SHIT THIS MIGHT BE MY LONGEST POST

[classpectpokerap]

yo fyi the tumblr overlay stuff is overwriting the search box and search button. Anyway today's dual is Dragon of Storm (BardThief of BreathHope) and I'd love to hear any examples you can think of that specific classpect in media

on point 1: so i fixed that, and then out of curiosity i went and checked my feedback form - turns out there were eight unread responses, ope. and turns out there was a massive bug and subtraction just. didnt work right.

so i fixed those, and then i added a fixed navbar, and that caused all SORTS of issues but it looked better so blargh but anyway. The Website Has Been Updated (which is also, the tumblr! i dont know how tumblr works but if you go to the full page the changes are there too). Now the site has like, a better navbar??? this took way too long to be worth it lmfao

Also most of the replies to the form was about Homesturdle. One day I will get back to the Homesturdle^2 update that I had planned, but that day is, "i don't want to learn typescript" days away lol

anyway

ON DUALS (alicorn theory primer)

Dual Classpects are a couple of things. They're a system to give funky names to sprite-fused Homestuck characters, they're a way to make cool sounding titles, but it's also mostly today's XKCD.

In the case of today (April 23, 2022), we're gonna be playing around with Dragon of Storm.

DRAGON OF STORM

(yeah i know the website is a lil janky rn. if anyone has suggestions for a logo n stuff hmu)

Anyway. Dragon of Storm. The search page says that a Dragon of Storm is made out of ThiefBard of BreathHope, so to get a Dragon of Storm you could do a few things.

Number one is that you grab a Bard of Breath and a Thief of Hope, and sprite-fuse them together. This is the original way Dual Classpecting worked, and I think it's fairly understandable. Bam, two people, now one person. New classpect.

The other way to do it is through Alicorn Theory, which is not for this post in terms of an in-depth explanation, but I'll do a brief rundown here. Basically, what if alicornhood is achieved through doing character growth Really Really Good, like, triumphing over your classpect + a bonus one.

For the purpose of this post, we'll be looking at making an alicorn out of a Thief of Hope -- Peter Quill, from GOTG2.

Peter's whole thing is that he's been actively taken from places, but that gives him new opportunities, new hopes. There's more to this classpecting, but I'll save it for a larger post on the Hope aspect (most of what I'd say in it can be viewed here). For now, let's take it as granted and move on.

(Special thanks to @nihilistic-janitor for being the driver of like 70% of this blog's meta and for being just generally fucking awesome. This would not exist without them.)

To become fully realized as a Dragon of Storm, he needs to overcome the challenges of both his inverse classpect (Page of Rage) AND the bonus secondary one (the inverse of Bard of Breath, Maid of Blood). This actually fits GOTG vol2 kinda perfectly.

Peter's big new struggle in this film kinda IS that of a Maid of Blood. He just found out about a new, like, literal biological part of him, but it's also a new familial relationship that drives the film's conflict. He has to overcome this, become a Bard of Breath (one who passively destroys thru and is passively destroyed by freedom/youth/innocence/travel), leave Ego behind, and be with his team.

He also achieves Page of Rage in this film - like, the giant pacman is. i mean. like. come on.

right???? gamers????????

anyway

By the end of the film, once he's finally at his like, Character Growth Achieved moment, that's a Dragon of Storm, I tell ye. I declare it.

but, yeah! that's basically it for that ask. this post deleted itself halfway thru typing it and i had to redo it, so, like, lol

if anyone else has asks they wanna submit, always feel free! and thank you to all the new followers :D im pleased as hell to see people like the work i put in, and i wanna make it better!

#hs #homestuck #classpect #classpects #classpecting #gotg2 #this is basically what most of the blog will be #a vibechecked classpect and webdev update usually in one #plus like conversational screenshots throughout #lmk if anything could be improved!!! im new to this #cotd #classpect of the day #hs meta

[itsjaywalkers]

hello laurie!! <3 insane commute nonnie here (again) omg i read oby yesterday omw to class (ended up staying at my friend's again bc his roommate was still out. sadly he's back) and i should not have done that bc OMG?? BABE I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT THEM THE WHOLE TIME UT GOT SO BAD I SAW MY PROFESSOR (he doesn't even look like james. he's just fit in a 'Hear me out guys...' way)N BLUSHED I WAS ACTUALLY GIGGLING AT RANDOM TIMES THINKING ABT THEM also like. sirius n regulus in this😭😭 regulus cursing sirius out for being a good brother is so real to me as someone with 12 year older brother bc he spent my entire childhood terrorizing me n now he's the sweetest person Ever. not even in an evil way he's just genuinely nice to me so if i ever complain abt him everyone goes ??? YOUR brother??? its so annoying (i love him). just reg veing grumpy<3 he's my fav little purse man and ok oh god never thought i'd say this. i have NEVER gotten the whole daddy thing but now im just🧍‍♂️bc i need to call james potter daddy while he fucks me what who said that also like. extreme apologies for how extremely inappropriate this might've gotten i was up all night studying for a quiz we have today (cannot catch a break w these ppl istg) n i swear my brain refuses to function and i have no idea!!! (please pray for me) also i hope you're doing great<3 sadly i do know work and adult things but im glad to know that nothing bad's going on!! you deserve the best<33 also i Absolutely get being funnier in your mother tongue sometimes i have these sudden thoughts n they're soo funny but i have to translate them which is like. okay but the vibes change istg!! i usually end texting my siblings abt it bc someone deserves to know how absolutely funny i am!! (all i do is make dad jokes) and (im actually so sorry bc ik you prob dont mind the book-long asks but its still!! so embarrassing!! like girl why are you yapping sm!!) i haven't read the 2nd part yet (i read the first part n just stared ahead blankly for like an hour after i read the 1st part. it did things to me) but im gonna read it after my quiz as a little treat<3 thank you for writing them sm!!!<3

HI BABE <333 sorry it took me so long to get back to u, life has been soooo hectic istg

AND OMG IM STILL SO SHY ABOUT U READING OBY but i'm so glad u enjoyed it and that it had the desired effect, it's definitely not the type of story u should read in class or just like . in front of ppl . i don't blame u for getting all flustered around ur professor even if he doesn't look anything like james. it's just the vibe yk??? you're literally so real for that

sirius and reg in oby are !! so important to me !! i feel like they have the best relationship in all of my fics, bc they're on good terms on nothing happens too but they argue . a lot . and they're gonna have some issues down the line. and they're also very close in the boxer au but there's still gonna be a lot of angst regarding their relationship. in oby, tho, they're just brothers <3 they love each other so much <3 and i'm so glad i'm portraying their dynamic accurately bc a lot of their convos are based on stuff me and my sisters have talked/fought about lmao

LISTENNNN I ALSO WASN'T INTO THE WHOLE DADDY THING like i didn't mind it and i read it occassionally but i didn't seek it out. but now that i'm actively writing it . well . i guess i kinda get the appeal (girl who doesn't even have a daddy kink) SO I GET U I REALLY DO

u don't have to apologiseeee i'm always happy to open horny hours especially if it's for james potter <3 and also i know it's been a few days but i hope the quiz went well and that u never do that again bc u need to rest!! i mean it!!

i'm doing quite well actually!! work's been a nightmare but apart from that i'm great!! i recently moved into a new flat with two friends and the place is soooo nice i'm in love with it i can't believe it's ours <333 AND SAMEEEE i always complain about it to my sisters or my spanish friends bc it annoys me to no end like . i'm literally soooo funny and it pains me that you'll never realise bc it's only when i speak in my first language ugh

I REALLY DON'T MIND THEM BABE IN FACT I LOVE THEM NEVER STOP and don't apologise again i'll kick ur ass!!! and god you're so very sweet to me, i hope u enjoyed/enjoy it and i'm sending u the biggest hug + forehead kissie in the world MWAH <3

#asks #insane commute nonnie

[mejomonster]

Huai Dao chapter 8: Sheng Yao (detail oriented flirt) likes Su Junzi (happily married family man)

Oh. Oh man

Ohhhh. Okay look so 1 theyre side characters, Im almost sure Shen Yexi and Jiang Hu are the main pairing of the novel.

2 Sheng Yao and Su Junzi are absolutely characters with traits that priest was like: oh yeah i gotta try these out again with more characters. And those would include Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou. So like. If youve read modu, you know Fei Du likes Tao Ran, and Luo Wenzhou likes Tao Ran. But Tao Ran is *presumed straight (he is Rejecting them both is the point). So Luo Wenzhou IS single. So when Fei Du hits on Tao Ran, its Kind Of shitty to hit on Luo Wenzhous crush, but also neither of them are getting their advances accepted, so theyre really just both losers mutually looking pathetic about their crush not liking them. So when Fei Du switches to hit on Luo Wenzhou, well. Luo Wenzhou IS single. There is no actual 3rd party to cheat on or hurt or betray. The only obstacles to them dating are their self imposed personal reasons (Fei Du not wanting to actually date someone he loves in fear he will hurt them, Fei Du knowing hes lying to Luo Wenzhou, Luo Wenzhou being so protective and semi-guardian over Fei Du for so long that hes like a kid to him, Luo Wenzhou intensely aware of the myriad of power inequalities from both sides, Luo Wenzhou aware Fei Du for some reason Doesnt wanna Actually be committed and is lying - at least at first). But uh. Su Junzi is married married.

Oh priest how are u gonna hurt me. Is this gonna be a Tao Ran situation where Su Junzi is straight and sweet and just an unobtainable crush Sheng Yao silently harbors until he meets someone else? Which is the path Fei Du took with crushing on Tao Ran. Is Su Junzi bi and going to lose his wife tragically (super emotionally fucked up if so ill cry), and Sheng Yao helps with his kid and they end up together eventually? (I sincerely doubt it but) are we getting a polyamorous 3 people situation - that would be the least Hurt My Heart answer. And if Sheng Yao moves on from this crush, Su Junzi just being a catalyst making him realize he does want to settle down with someone... who on Earth is he going to date??? Because Sheng Yao really built Su Junzi up in his head as HIS partner, his companion, his Close Friend he always cares about. And even on a platonic level, it is HARD to find a new romance partner who grows into someone u love as much as a long term best friend (which is maybe why when people do, they stay in long term relationships with Those crushes that become best friends to them too). Like. Its going to be hard for a new person to worm into Sheng Yaos heart at the degree a close friend like Su Junzi already is.

Oh and Jiang Hu? Im not sure yet how i feel about him and Shen Yexi. Im still somehow hoping for a Hannibal level fucked up dynamic. But Jiang Hus not really giving Liar or Dangerous, so much as foreigner with his own peculiar habits (and spacey) and with a personality that just doesnt Totally mesh with a police (which means hes pretty normal for a guy youd run into in a university). And Shen Yexi, unless he flips WILDY which i guess is possible like Fei Dus lie reveal, well he is just fairly earnest? He seems to be a good employee, a priest lead who Isnt a flirt (actually fun and shocking to me he And Jiang Hu arent flirts since the other mystery priest novels ive read at least one lead is), seems to care to help people but not glorify it or expect impossibly perfect results from himself (which is what Luo Wenzhou absolutely does - hold himself to superhero expectations then constantly self hate that hes incapable of meeting them). Shen Yexi is fairly well adjusted, balanced, a good calm decisive leader... hes got a bit of a workaholic streak but it only is affecting him, hes not expecting it of his team too. Hes so what he appears, i just dont think hes gonna turn out to be an undercover criminal or villain type. So much as id love a Hannibal esque dynamic... i dont think its happening.

Anyway i love Sheng Yao this poor man fucked up. Fell in love with an unavailable married man.

#huai dao #lb #sheng yao crushing on a married man is like when in Modu priest has Tao Ran break up with the gf who loves him #its not happy. it IS realistic. and it hurts my heart. and its just There becausr its in character for them.

[eternalera]

some things that annoy me in writing

when a character endlessly trauma dumps on someone especially their lover.

i mostly dont like this trope because one, why and two GET A THERAPIST. THAT SHIT IS THEIR JOB. not to say that their partner cant comfort them but sometimes it does come to a point where that character is ENDLESSLY relying on their significant other for 'validation' or for 'therapy' and then they get mad at themselves or at their partner if they cant provide it. this drops a lot on the other significant other because now theyre worried about their own problems, their partners, and whatever else the hell is going on with their life. and when i say theyre worried about their partners i mean theyre worried worried like its constantly plagues them and the partner AINT HELPING. like they miss a date and all of the sudden it 'where were you?' 'i needed you!' 'you know whats going on with me right now how could you!' like no. stop it. they can love you but they aint your goddamn therapist. get someone else.

2. the whole 'i dont deserve you argument'

yes its fluffy, angsty and practically perfect in nearly every damn way but god. its hardly ever done right. like everything feels forced, the reasons feel forced and i can never actually hear someone saying that. i can hear someone going 'you shouldnt be here' as in 'i dont deserve you' or in some other way. if the whole 'i dont deserve you' argument is underlying then its fine but when its upright in an 'emotional scene' the whole 'i dont deserve you' just makes me go 'ugh' mostly because it just feels so goddamn unrealistic. not to mention it takes all that emotional tension and instead of adding to it, it just fucking plummets it in my opinion. it feels anticlimactic like it was gonna be the climax but it failed. kinda like you save what you think is gonna be the best firework for last but turns out its a dud so now youre sitting their like 'well wtf was that'

3. when characters are actively being pressured by the cast to move on

like shut up, it takes the average person 4 years to grieve and then some. just because it was a really long time ago doesnt mean that it didnt hurt. chances are that it hurt A LOT. not to mention its usually like 'we/you cant do anything about it, move on from it' this is usually over traumatic experiences and im sorry but this just isnt healthy. not saying that you have to be stuck in that moment forever but you cant just go 'welp i couldnt do anything, sucks to suck buh-byeeee' like no, thats not how it works. you need to come to terms with what happened and what you did. not endlessly blame yourself or just say that it wasnt your fault even partially. thats not coming to terms with things thats denying the truth. never do this

4. when sad backstories supposedly make up for everything

suck it up. yeah no suck it up. you can have trauma from those experiences but it doesnt make up for what you did in the SLIGHTEST. its basically saying 'sir i only killed that man because my parents never loved me :((((' like honey there is no correlation. stop

5. unnecessary descriptions to describe a character. like when theyre lovesick, sure. thats FINE. but when youre just meeting them like slow your roll. im trying to process so many things at once already, i got the dialog their personality, what was currently going on in the scene. not to mention sometimes i dont like overly descriptive dialog because it takes away the room for imagination which kinda sucks because if i saw them wearing a skirt but now youre saying theyre wearing jeans it kinda fucks with my mind more

these are all just my opinion :)

#writing tips #kinda #rants #rant #writing rants #fanfic rant #like seriously the amount of times ive seen this shit in fanfiction is horrible #not even COUNTING the wall of dialog

[dumbbitchfrommars]

i just journalled about it but im still kinda irritated. like i genuinely think that youre just annoyed at me for trying to have my life together, for having work and doing uni and that our parents are happy about that. its not really my fault that i made that choice? like its not my fault youre insecure about that. in the samr way its not your fault im insecure about my social life. hm. interesting

im still going to resent you for that. i dont really know how to stop it. maybe my psych could help with that.

idk

little things bother me. like you being fine being friendly with my ex because its 'just the way you are' well me being argumentative and temperamental is JUST THE WAY I AM. but god forbid i get (rightfully) annoyed at you for being flakey and unreliable, and i am so fucking evil for that. are you serious?

ive been like this forever and now all of the sudden you cant handle it. okay fine. fine. the last few months ive been slowly coming to terms with the fact that our relationship is going to have to have a massive shift. like massive in the fact that it cant really exist anymore. its not possible for us to be close without us both getting seriously triggered and upset at the other. so we stop hanging out and talking as much and its solved. literally how gross and pathetic, like all those toxic siblings we hear about and feel bad for.

ideally i could just move out and i wont have to deal with any of your weird energy at all. but its just so annoying being at home, even when we dont really see eachother or even talk, because your constant avoidant energy just seeps out everywhere. i notice it because youre always so quick to rush out and get away from the house. like we all fucking get it, you hate us all and dont wanna be around us. grow tf up. learn how to communicate your problems with people and cop the reaction from it. i learnt a long time ago.

its funny cause the more you try to avoid something, the more that problem grows. you dont want me to be angry and irritated at you, and the fact that youre avoiding makes me more irritated. you do realise that, right? i mean, i told you. i thought we made a breakthrough but youre still acting like a child.

is that why? do you feel like a child? do you feel immature because of what im doing with my life? is that the insecurity for you?

its annoying for me to have to sit here and overanalyse shit because you fail to communicate this stuff with me. i tried to have an adult conversation with you and you get so uncomfortable and avoidant. for the first time i feel like the therapist.

remind me to never trust your advice again. remember what happened with the taurus? to be fair you helped me confront the issue with him. but he completely gaslit me and you were like yea hes right, you were in the wrong. girl?

atp i have to treat myself as an only child now. because i certainly cant come to you with anything anymore. its not like youd come to me! and im actually open and trying to be here for you. how sad is that. its actually so sad. like the fear of abandonment do be coming true and it really do be the ones closest to you. and how is it always the youngest? the same thing happened with con and maeve. like how could you just dog your family like that.

i was and still am genuinely concerned that shes falling into a depression again but im just gonna put faith in and pray to god that her friends are actually there for her and providing her with the love and support she needs (if that was the case). at the very least she has her friends.

and back to square one for me. i have me myself and i, like always.

the thing i need to work on is being more appreciative of her, and the little things she does to be there for me. even if its not what i want or need or asked for. i have to grateful. i am grateful for my sister. i will put my pride aside and be the bigger person like i was earlier today. i know i hurt her and im sorry and i am grateful for her making time for me in her busy busy life. think about the slay it girls kylie and kendall. it took them till their mid 20s to reach a stable place as sisters. perhaps it will just take some more time.

its worth the wait. (thanks chan)