#.....please stop your hair from blending into the wall though omg??

[spencersawkward]

*concussions and confessions//spencer reid*

summary: a near-death experience encourages Spencer to admit his feelings for his best friend, even at the risk of ruining their relationship.

pairing: Fem!Reader/Spencer

content warnings: oh boy there’s a lot. i’ll start with the nonsexual ones-- choking (again, not sexual), blunt force, violence, some angst. ok time for the fun ones-- unprotected penetrative sex, masturbation, sex dream, oral (male receiving), slight dirty talk, creampie. lmk if there are more that i missed! 

word count: 5.4k

A/N: hi omg so i actually combined two requests for this bc i loved the concepts and i didn't wanna do one and not the other. i hope i do both of these justice hehe thanks for sending them! also sorry if the unsub scene sucks-- i don’t usually write that way, so i tried my best. 

request(s): omg if you need ideas for baby spence can you do a one shot where he's the girls best friend (she's not in the bau) and they are in love but neither of them admit it and he is really hurt in a case or almost dies or something traumatic and only when he gets back they confess their love... and then have sex 😏 ive been thinking about this concept alot 😌

can’t stop thinking about baby spencer (like s2-s4) & his girl best friend losing their virginity to each other... can you write a one shot on this please?

masterlist

"when are you coming back?" you ask over the line. you're lying on your bed, legs in the air while you talk to your best friend. it's been a long day for you, but a longer day for him. it's always a longer day for him. 

"you know that I don't know the answer to that question." Spencer's voice is soft as he attempts to keep quiet. he's two hours ahead and, despite the fact that you're both night owls, the person he's rooming with tonight isn't. 

"I know, but there's this Korean film festival that starts tomorrow and I was hoping you would be here to translate for me." you examine your nails while you talk. Spencer lets out a disappointed sigh. 

it's only been a few days since he left, but it's been a week since you last saw him and it feels like a long time. whenever he's not at work, you two are joined at the hip. ever since you first met a few years back at a poetry convention in DC, it feels like he's the only person who understands you. which is weird, because you couldn't be more different as individuals. 

"you should bring one of your other friends." 

"bold of you to assume I have other friends." you joke. Spencer chuckles to himself and your heart flutters. you love his laugh more than anything in the world. 

"I thought that was just me." he says. 

"oh, it is just you," you reply flatly. "I was trying to make you feel better."

you can practically feel Spencer smiling through the phone. although you tease him pretty frequently, he's sometimes able to get in his own shots. it's what makes your friendship interesting.

"hey," you add before he can say anything more. "how's the case going?" 

Spence starts to detail the whole thing, and you listen intently, the timbre and smoothness of his voice comforting you as you slip beneath the covers of your bed. you like the way he enunciates his words, his strange manner of speaking, because it lulls you to sleep. 

you know he's talking about horrible things, but something about the sound comforts you deeply. when he's not around, you're wishing you had it bottled up. 

he lays out their profile as it stands, and you fall silent. it's getting pretty late and you have to be up early for work tomorrow, so it would be a good idea to get some real rest. plus, Spencer needs to sleep, too-- even though he probably won't. 

you remember times when he'd call you at three in the morning, his mind whirring as he played chess against himself and asked if you wanted to hang out so he could teach you how. you hate chess, but of course you said yes; you'd been head over heels with him since your first conversation.

eventually, you feel yourself start to drift off. you don't even really know what he's saying; all of it blends together until you're laying there, one cheek pressed to the pillow and the receiver against the other. 

"Y/N?" he says your name abruptly and your eyes, which have been slowly drawing shut this whole time, fly open. 

"yeah?" 

"go to bed."

"what? no, I'll wait until you're done." you shift. 

"I could hear your breathing change." 

"then why didn't you just hang up?" you giggle. he goes silent for a moment and you wonder if he cut out, but then he responds. 

"I wanted to say goodnight." 

it's like a cage of butterflies is unleashed in your stomach. you wrinkle your nose as you get nervous. god, you miss him. things would be so much better if he was back. not like he'd be in your bed even if he was, though.  

"then say goodnight." you prod. he lets out an awkward little sound. 

"now I can't because you made it weird." 

"how did I make it weird?" 

"I don't know, you just did." he's so clumsy, your face heats up. you want to keep talking like this until morning.

"goodnight, Spence," the words sound reluctant, but you try to cover it up by teasing him further. "see, was that so bad?" 

"oh my god, Y/N--" he tries to sound exasperated. 

"no goodnight back?" you raise an eyebrow even though he can't see you right now.  

a lengthy silence again. "goodnight."

"that's what I thought." before he can protest, you end the call, settle into the covers. moonlight beams on the walls of your apartment, and you start to think about your best friend. about all the nights spent curled up on his couch with two bowls of popcorn, his ramblings about how much he loves his job and him asking about yours. 

he's a great listener. every time you talk, he nods along like he's hanging off every word. it's nice to feel heard that way, to have someone care. and he's fun to hang out with, too. you've met his team before and they all talk about how hard it is to get him to go out, but they don't see the same side of him that you do. 

Spencer is nerdy and cute and kind and sensitive. he makes you feel special. he's everything that you've ever wanted in a person. but it's not like it would matter, anyway. he hasn't really shown interest in any girls-- much less you. even if he did, you're scared of ruining the friendship. 

the fallout of not having him around at all... it would destroy you. and something, even if it's torturous, is better than nothing. 

which is why, as you sit there and remember being around him, your fingertips creep below the comforter. a familiar routine, they move over your stomach, until they reach the waistband of your panties. for a moment, you hesitate. it's wrong. he's your best friend. but he doesn't need to know that this is how you handle the ache he puts between your legs. 

as your index finger slides down your slit, you feel the wetness already forming. Spencer's hands, his mouth. the thought of his lips pressed to yours while he fucks you, holding your body like it's delicate. 

you don't know exactly how it would feel because you've never had sex, but you want to find out with him. he's never done it, either. you don't care; all you need is to have him inside of you, to see how he looks when he's on the edge. 

your mind wanders to the image of him parting your legs and rolling his eyes into the back of his head. the sensation of him filling you up. falling apart. 

you slide a finger inside, gasping at the way your walls tighten and your imagination runs wild. that tongue, lapping and making you squirm, your fingers twisted in his soft hair. he's so sweet; his attentiveness would make your legs shake. you want to look into his eyes while he does it. 

you add a second finger, curl them and brush over the most sensitive part. the pressure of his hips grinding into yours. your body curves up at the way you start to finger yourself, the other hand stimulating your clit. it's almost overwhelming, the way his name tumbles from your lips over and over. 

you've never wanted someone so badly in your life; he belongs in your bloodstream. the sounds he would make in your ear before finally cumming and collapsing on top of you, spent. you want to tire him out and then do it all over again. 

you're greedy on the edge, indulging in every single image of him you can conjure up, every dirty thing you'd say. finally, you feel yourself fall, the orgasm intense as you bite back groans of pleasure and work through the high. it's amazing. 

you sit there, panting, feeling your heart beat in your chest. some things can't leave your head, they're so sinful. and the worst part is that you don't regret it in the slightest. 

...

Spencer can feel his pulse practically leaping against his throat as he makes his way through the empty warehouse. he should have waited for backup; he knows he should have, but it's too late now to go back and change things. 

he clutches his gun, pointing it in front of him while his eyes flicker wildly across the space. he's moving between enormous aisles stuffed with crates, not knowing who else is around. they said the unsub brought his newest victim here-- Spencer came first because was closest to the site-- but he hears nothing aside from the uneven rhythm of his own breath. 

every step is careful. he's thinking about how close the rest of the team must be. based on their distance from the station, they should arrive within six minutes-- but that doesn't account for the time it takes to put on their bulletproof vests, to get to their cars. 

truthfully, he doesn't know if he's going to have to do this on his own. and that scares him the most. 

there's no point in worrying. he swallows the lump in his throat and presses his back to one of the crates. there's a scraping noise a ways off that causes him to freeze. because of the echoes of the warehouse, the origin is indiscernible. he doesn't breathe, eyes darting between each of the openings into the aisle. 

after a minute of pure silence, he peels himself away and turns to head back out. 

and that's when the sound of wood cracking against bone startles him; he hears it before he feels it, but it's obvious when he crumples to the floor. like knife points pressing into his brain at all angles, the shooting agony in his skull. 

he starts to clutch at his head, only to be yanked off the ground by a meaty hand and thrown against the side of a crate. 

"fucking feds." the guy is enormous. gargantuan. he keeps his arm across Reid's throat, pressing down enough to restrict his airway. but Spencer can't even concentrate on the guy's face further than its rough outlines. his vision is going in and out, fuzzy at the edges from the blow to his head. 

he definitely has a concussion. 

"I..." he trails off. the huge FBI logo on his vest is a dead giveaway. 

"all alone?" the unsub has breath like rotten fish, spits each word into his face. "I won't even need my gun." 

Spencer's head lolls to the side and he catches sight of his own weapon lying helplessly a few feet away. there's no way he could get to it in time, even if he got out of this guy's chokehold. 

he tries to think of a way to talk himself out of this; after all, their profile said he'd be more susceptible to negotiation, but that's kind of hard to do with someone's forearm slammed against your trachea. he presses harder and Spencer sees stars. his glasses hang almost off the bridge of his nose, centimeters from falling to the floor. 

he starts to realize that he's going to die, defenseless and alone, in a warehouse. at the hands of a man who kills women because his Viagra doesn't work. but this doesn't incite the kind of panic Spencer always predicted he'd feel. the lack of oxygen in his brain causes him to go delirious. 

he misses home. his mom and his old house, even though things were hard. he misses Y/N, his team members. he wishes his team was here; he should have waited for them. he should have told Y/N how he feels. now she's never going to know. 

Reid is so out of it, he doesn't even notice the pressure being relieved from his throat until he collapses on the ground. the unsub falls, too, his cheek smashed by the force of the abandoned wooden plank. 

it's hard to tell what's happening until Reid lifts his head to see Morgan standing above him, preparing to handcuff the criminal.

"kid," Spencer never thought he'd be so glad to hear his voice. "what happened?"

...

you practically crash into Spencer's apartment the next evening, flinging your body through the front door with your spare key. 

"Spence?" you call out from the entryway. everything still looks the same, but when his colleague, Penelope, called you today to tell you that Reid had gotten a concussion after a run-in with an unsub, you rushed here as soon as you could. 

"in here." he calls from his bedroom. you don't hesitate, your feet carrying you there. you've been anxious all day; he didn't call last night or even text like usual. you were on the verge of panicking when Penelope called. 

of course, you knew that was the risk with Spencer. he knew the risk, too. his life would always be in the balance when it came to the cases, but he'd gone through so many at this point, you weren't thinking about it. if you did, you wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. 

when you walk in, the first thing you see is Spencer laying in bed in his silk pjs. there's a stack of unread books on his bedside table. his glasses sit on top. he's just laying there with his eyes closed. 

"oh my god." you mutter, dropping your bag on the floor and walking over. he opens his eyes with a slight smile. there's a purple bruise forming across his throat, light but definitely there.  

"hi." 

"what the fuck happened?" you ask the question you've been wondering the whole way here. 

"he hit me with a plank." Spencer explains, the phrase coming out like he's still confused about it. "I'm fine, just a mild concussion and a bruise because he choked me." 

you take a second to assess if he actually means that he's okay, or if he's trying not to worry you. he stares at your expression for a second. 

"Y/N, I'm really fine." 

"you don't look fine." you gesture to the fact that he's laying in bed. 

"my body is sore, but nothing's wrong with me. I just can't look at screens or read." this last part makes him much more melancholy, it seems. you reach down and ruffle his hair playfully. 

"sounds like a nightmare." 

"it is." he cracks up. 

"I'm glad you're okay." you sigh. your heart rate has slowed to a reasonable pace now that you know he's fine. Spencer gives a ghost of a smile, and when he pats the empty spot on the bed beside him, you kick off your shoes and climb over his body to sit down. "so... did you guys get him?" 

"the unsub?" he turns his head to look at you. something is in his eyes that you can't read. "yeah, he's in custody. we saved the girl he abducted, too." 

"well, aren't you a hero?" you grin, pinching his arm. 

"ow!" he flinches. "don't hurt the patient."

"oh, so now you're injured?" you giggle softly. his smile fades a bit, gaze trailing from your face to your legs. it isn't lustful or anything, more like he's taking in your existence. it still makes your heart flutter. 

"I wasn't really a hero, anyway," he sighs. "I got knocked down before I even found her." 

"oof." you wince. 

"yeah, it's sort of embarrassing. I went in by myself and--"

"you went by yourself?" you clarify, turning to face him. of course he did. 

"yeah." he avoids your gaze. 

"Spencer, I work in a stationery shop and I know you're supposed to wait for backup." you deadpan. he snorts, staring straight ahead at the wall. his hair is flat in the back from where he's been resting it against the headboard. 

"he would have hurt her if I had waited." he explains. your heart softens a bit at this. you know Spencer has a problem with saving people; sometimes he doesn't think things through. but you know that it's only because he cares. 

you smile gently, appreciating what a beautiful person he is. you don't understand how other people don't see him how you do. your hand reaches for his suddenly, and you find yourself snuggling into his shoulder. 

Spencer doesn't usually like touch, but he welcomes this, dropping his own head to rest on top of yours while you both stare at the wall. his silence feels heavy, more than it usually does, and you wonder what he's thinking. 

"I'm really glad you're okay, Spencer." your tone is low, like it's a secret. 

"you already said that." 

"shut up." 

"you care about me." he sing-songs with a smile, and you know he means it in a friendly way, but you don't care. it brings warmth to your cheeks. 

"whatever. you care about me, too." 

he lets out a slight chuckle. "when I started to black out, I thought of you." 

your heart leaps, even though the reason is pretty dark. "oh, yeah?"

"mhmm." he hums. 

"nobody's ever told me that they thought of me in their last moments of life before." you tease. there are so many things you'd like to say, but know you can't. he smells like himself and coffee beans, his skin warm beneath the silk of his pajamas. 

"I'd hope not."

"anything in particular?" you wonder aloud. 

"what?" you feel him tense beneath you, and that's how you know there's something he's not telling you. 

"were you thinking about anything in particular?" 

"someone's full of themselves." he jokes. you smack his arm.  

"humor me." more than anything, you want to hear his thoughts. you know you're reaching, but you don't care. 

"just..." he pauses, the next words coming out almost too quietly to hear. "things I never got to say to you." 

"like?" now you're intrigued. 

"no way." he laughs and you groan, turning and realizing that you've both sunk deeper onto the bed and are now practically lying down. 

"c'mon," you prod. you've flipped onto your side while you watch him, his eyes directed at the ceiling. "what if you'd actually died?" 

Spencer gives you a look, and you wish you could snap a picture of his face. the gentle features, the warmth in his eyes. he stares at you differently than before, and it makes your stomach flip again. "I, um." 

you start to trace your index absently down his forearm, where his sleeve has incidentally gotten rolled up. his skin is soft. you know that this isn't a friendly thing to do, but something inside you craves his touch right now. you almost lost him; you can't imagine how horrible that would be. 

"I wanted to say that I--" he gulps, muscles in his shoulder tight beneath your cheek. "well, I care about you, and I... I really love you." 

it's not the first time he's said it, obviously in a platonic sense. what affects you is that he's acting like it's a big deal. 

"I love you too, Spence." you smile softly. his chest rises and falls faster, his face tensed. 

"no, I mean--" he turns onto his side, using the action to distract from his own nervousness. he holds your gaze and you forget how to breathe as he speaks. every syllable is serious, but you note his fingers fidgeting at his side. "I'm in love with you." 

it's like all the air in the room has been sucked out. you swallow, unsure of how to react at first. you don't believe what you're hearing, simply because it doesn't make sense. you've been friends for a while, now, but Spencer has never made a move to ask you out or acted like he wanted anything more. 

your heart swells. 

"you're in love with me?" the words even feel surreal on your tongue. he takes it as rejection.

"I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." Spencer rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, his expression turning to a cringe. he's about to sit up to hide the red in his cheeks, but you pull him back down by the shoulder. 

"not so fast, crazy boy." the corners of your mouth are turning up into a grin. you can't help it; every nerve in your body is alive. Spencer loves you. he feels the same way. 

when he sinks back down onto the mattress and sighs, preparing to say something that rescinds the statement to erase any awkwardness, you grab his face and turn it to yours. you don't kiss him, only force him to look. 

"I'm in love with you, too." 

his eyebrows fly up in surprise. "r-really?"

"yes." you nod. 

he takes a second to process this. you see about five different expressions pass over his face, each one reminding you of how earnest he is. and it's absolutely adorable. 

"well, that's good, isn't it?" he clarifies. you pretend to think on it. 

"I'd say so, yeah." 

he smiles. a genuine, rare one that makes your veins feel as if they're full of glitter. you're on Cloud 9. 

"can I kiss you?" you ask him quietly. he seems surprised at this, too, like he never thought you'd want that, but then nods eagerly. 

you close the gap between you on the bed, holding his jaw in one hand while the other rests on his forearm. your lips meet softly at first. he's cautious, scared of pushing you away. he hasn't kissed many people before. but he's good at it, letting you take the lead. 

there's no way to adequately describe kissing Spencer. every bone in your body turns to mush, immediately craving more contact. you slide your tongue across his full bottom lip, and he lets you in. his affection is the most loved you've ever felt. because sure, you haven't had sex, but you've kissed people before. 

never like this. 

one of his hands goes up to wrap around your forearm tenderly before he shifts to lie on his side. you wrap around each other, turning the kiss into a full-body embrace as you breathe in. you want more. your leg swings over his torso so you can pull yourself closer, and he groans into your mouth when your pelvis presses against his. 

the kiss gets more heated, his hands carefully but hungrily traveling down the curve of your waist. you flip so that you're straddling him without breaking any contact. 

you don't really think about the way your hips begin to rock against his, your pussy involuntarily working for friction. there are so many happy chemicals in your brain right now, you giggle against his mouth when his body bucks up into yours. he groans. 

"Y/N..." he breathes softly. his hands move from your waist to your thighs, afraid to dig his fingertips in. 

"what?" you sigh, licking over his bottom lip again. he moans at the way you keep grinding on his erection. 

"I wanna--" his eyelashes flutter when he gasps. "I wanna touch you." 

"do it." your palm is resting tenderly against his cheek. he responds by finally holding you down, sliding his body up a bit to grind against your center. you whine. "touch whatever you want, Spencer." 

his cock twitches in his pants and you push the hem of his shirt up while he uses one hand to massage your tits. the voracious, curious nature of his attention makes you sigh, touching his stomach. he feels perfect beneath you. 

soon you're grabbing at each other without any regard for grace. he's so horny, he's pawing at whatever he can while you do the same to him. the kissing gives way to straight panting while you look at each other. 

"can I suck your dick?" you whisper. Spencer's eyes widen. you've never seen him nod so fast. 

you press your mouth to his one more time before inching down his body, sucking on his clavicle, then his stomach. careful to avoid the purple marks on his neck. he watches you intently, memorizing the details of this moment for later. when you reach the waistband of his pants, you peek up. he strains against the material. 

your mouth drops open and you draw your tongue over the clothed bulge, maintaining eye contact. Spencer throws his head back. his voice is high. "oh my god, oh my god." 

you smirk, licking it again. he clenches his jaw. "I'm gonna c-cum if you don't--" he tries for words, but he's mewling and moving against your mouth. you pull at his pants, hooking your fingers in his boxers and bringing them down, too. 

Spencer bucks into the air when his cock hits his stomach. it's big, precum leaking helplessly out of the tip while he whines. you want him now. 

"wow." you smile. he stares at you, tensing his stomach as you wrap your hand around his length. he's trying to keep quiet, but as soon as you spit on it and start to pump him, his head falls back into the pillow. 

you draw your tongue up the underside, paying special attention to the veins, reveling in his reactions. he looks like he's ascending to heaven when you start to suck on the first couple inches.  

"o-oh, fuck..." he keeps moving his hips off the bed for more, so you sink down further onto him, hollowing your cheeks and moaning. "Y/N..." 

you groan in response, feeling yourself get wetter with every sound he makes. you can't believe this is happening, the way he threads his fingers loosely through your hair in an attempt to touch more of you.

he tries to keep his eyes open while you suck, but they squint with pleasure. he's a mess for you, shuddering gently when you take nearly all of him into your mouth. 

before he can cum, you pull your mouth off of him with a satisfying pop. Spencer moans. 

"was that okay?" you ask carefully. this is the extent of your sexual experience, and you want to do more with him, but you aren't sure how he feels. your best friend stares back at you like you've turned his world upside down. 

"y-yeah," he replies. his face is flushed. "definitely okay."

he's throbbing, occasionally twitching against his stomach as he waits for more stimulation. you eye him carefully. 

"what do you feel comfortable doing?" your voice is smooth. "we can stop now, if you'd like." 

"I--" he chokes on the word. "I don't wanna stop." 

"do you want to have sex?" you ask. Spencer bites his lip, whines. 

"mhmm." 

"I wanna do that, too," you breathe out, straightening up and pulling your shirt over your head, unclasping your bra, before getting to work on your shorts. you know you're practically dripping. he's been more vocal, but you feel like you're going to implode from the desire. "but I need to tell you something." 

"what?" he tugs your arm, coaxing you back to him and touching you greedily. you giggle as you kick your shorts and panties off somewhere in the room. both of you move like awkward teenagers. 

"I'm a virgin." you say. 

Spencer frowns. "really?" 

"yeah," you lick your lips. "so you need to be careful." 

"o-of course." he blushes, getting nervous again. "you know I'm a virgin too, right?"

"I know." you smile. he returns it sweetly, and the commotion of your bodies slows for a moment. you're so happy, you could cry. 

"what?" he breaks the comfortable silence. 

"I'm excited," you shrug. he's got his hands on your waist, rubbing his fingertips over your skin. then you remember something. "wait, are you allowed to have sex with your... injury?" 

"it's fine." he reaches up and kisses your throat with an urgency. 

"did the doctor say that?" your eyes roll while he sucks on your neck. he groans and pulls down on your waist so that your stomach presses against his cock. he ruts. 

"second opinion from me." he pants. you tap his cheek playfully, move up his body until your core brushes him. he whimpers when you reach between your bodies and grip his length in your hands. 

"you ready?" your voice is low. Spencer squeezes your thighs, eyes moving between your tits and your face. 

"yes." he sighs. you position it, slicking him in your pussy while he wraps an arm around your waist and moans for more. your chests are pressed together, looking into each other's eyes while you slide him into you. 

you have to go slow, the intrusion causing your jaw to drop. you don't breathe. he's got his eyes rolled into the back of his head.  

"Spencer." you whimper, dropping your head onto his chest when he's fully inside of you. his fingers rub patiently over your back. 

"are you okay?" his voice is laced with a moan, trying to resist thrusting. 

"yeah, just a second." you wiggle a little bit to test the boundaries. it hurts, but it also feels good. your clit is begging for more pressure, so you start to roll your hips. Reid moans loudly. 

"Y/N..." he whimpers. "don't stop." 

"you want more?" the need in his voice makes you hornier, and you increase the pace, despite the slight pain. you're so wet, he slides in and out without much effort. 

"so-- much more." he's gasping, hands on your thighs as he watches your naked body writhe on top of him. he's never been more aroused in his life, spurred on by your scent and form and the tightness that keeps clenching around his cock.

he understands why people love sex so much, now. he wants it every day, wants to fuck you in every position and pleasure you. the sounds you release in his ear, whines and praises, he would do anything for more. walk to the ends of the earth to feel you cum on his cock. 

his hand finds your ass, squeezes it. 

"this feel good, Spence? fucking your best friend?" you talk dirty and he twitches. you're always so sweet, the words coming out of your mouth for him are going to send the genius into a tailspin. 

"mhmm," he holds you down so that he can thrust up. speaking at all is a struggle with the way he's feeling. "perfect." 

you start to say something else, but he hits a certain angle and you let out a quiet yelp, hips jumping at the pleasure. "I'm gonna cum." 

Spencer gets a rush of relief because it's taking everything in him right now not to absolutely lose it inside your pussy. he's hanging on by a thread. "me, too." 

you use your position on top to stimulate yourself. both of you chase your orgasms roughly, the rhythm you created degenerating into clawing excitement. 

"cum inside me, Spencer." you beg him. it sounds like you would do anything to feel it, that sensation that you've never experience but have always imagined. and Spencer, his own head foggy with ecstasy, nods and opens his mouth to let out a loud groan. 

"Y/N, fuck fuck fuck-- I'm--" he shoots his load inside of you, rutting wildly and letting his head drop onto the pillow while he pants. you can feel it. strange, lovely jolts of his seed spreading. your hands, which have been resting on his shoulders, tighten and you reach your climax. you flutter around him, both of you still moving to ease the intensity of the high. 

it's remarkable. you're crying out, having the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life. you never thought your first time would be like this. but you're glad it is, muscles tightening and releasing with the mixture of emotions. 

you collapse fully, him still inside. 

neither of you speaks. his heartbeat thuds against your ear, and you hold onto him like letting go would be the end of the world. you can't believe you could have lost him. you don't want to think about it. 

"sorry I came so fast." Spencer apologizes breathlessly. you can feel his cum dripping down your entrance when he slides out. 

"I don't care." you mumble. both of you stay there for a while, his heartbeat changing to a pace that reminds you of genuine excitement. like a hummingbird. 

"we can try again, sometime." he offers. you lift your head to rest your chin on his chest. his skin is flushed, pupils dilated, hair messy. such a pretty boy. 

"we should try multiple times." 

he gives you a cheerful smile, and everything starts to fall into place. you took each other's virginity. "Y/N?" 

he likes to say your name, and you love to hear it. "yes?" 

"are we dating?" the bluntness of the question makes you giggle. you don't hesitate. 

"yeah." 

“good.”

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed!): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm @xoxomgg​ 

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #baby spence #mgg #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fic #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler

[itsclydebitches]

Hi! I was just watching good omens and I came up with some questions, but I didn't know whom to ask, so I was digging around for go analysis blogs and found you. *takes a breath* So, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on why Heaven's camera angles are the way they are. I noticed that, in heaven, the camera tends to focus on the characters' heads specifically, so they fill most of the screen. Either it's a meta reason or a reference to something (like Newt with the Office) that I'm not getting. That's the main thing, but I've also wondered why exactly Aziraphale uses the verb "fraternize" in the 19th century. It seemed an odd pivot from caring about Crowley's safety to Heaven's rules. Thanks so much!

Hello! Omg yes, let's talk Good Omens cinematography.

First, the obligatory Analysis Disclaimer: I doubt there's a specific interpretation that you're just not getting, some singular, "correct" reading of the scene(s). Two years past release, I'm positive the fandom as a whole has come up with plenty of ideas (I mostly hang on the periphery. I'm far from up to date with GO meta), but any and all of it will, by nature, be subjective. Thus, all I can offer is my own, personal interpretation.

So for me? It's about intimacy.

Not intimacy in the sense of friendship, but rather the broad idea of closeness. Confidentiality. Emotion. Knowledge. Understanding by means of literally getting into the thick of these conversations. I love the camerawork in Heaven (and elsewhere) because the camera itself acts like a person — an additional party to these interactions. And, since we're the ones watching this show via the camera, it makes it feel as if we're peeking into scenes that are otherwise private. Obviously all cinematography does this to a certain extent, the camera is always watching someone or something without acknowledging that we're doing the watching (outside of documentary-esque filmmaking), but GO uses angles and closeups to mimic another person observing these scenes, someone other than the characters involved.

The easiest example I can give here is when Michael makes their call to Ligur. Here, the camera is positioned up on the next landing of the staircase, as if we're sneaking a look down at this otherwise secret call. There's even a moment when the camera pans to the right to look at them through the gap in the railing, briefly obscuring Michael from our view.

Here, a standard expectation of any scene — keep your character in focus — is done away with to instead mimic the movements of someone actually hiding in the stairwell, listening in on the conversation. It creates that feeling of intimacy, as if we're really there with Michael, not just watching Michael through a screen. The camerawork acts like a person overhearing an illicit conversation prior to falling back on mid/closeup shots. We're spying on them.

To give a non-Heaven example, the camera helps us connect with Aziraphale during Gabriel's jogging scene. It's hard to show through screenshots, but if you re-watch you'll see that the camera initially keeps them both in the frame with full body shots, allowing us to compare things like Gabriel's unadorned gray workout clothes with Aziraphale's more stylish outfit; one's good jogging form and the other's awkward shuffle. However, this distance also creates the sense that we're jogging with them, we're keeping pace.

That is, until Aziraphale begins to lag. Then the camera lags too, giving them both the chance to catch up, so to speak.

Until, finally, Aziraphale has to stop completely and the camera, of course, stops with him. We're emotionally attuned to Aziraphale, not Gabriel, and the camerawork reflects that. Even more-so when we cut to a low shot of Gabriel's annoyed huff at having to stop at all, making him appear larger and more imposing. Because to Aziraphale, he is.

This work carries over into Heaven's other scenes. The closeups are pretty much a given since, whether it's Gabriel realizing Aziraphale has been "fraternizing" with Crowley (more on that below!), or Aziraphale choosing to go back to Earth, the scenes in Heaven are incredibly important to the narrative. Closeups allow the viewer to get a good read on each character's emotional state — focusing on minute facial changes as opposed to overall body language — and that fly-on-the-wall feeling is increased as we literally get an up close and personal look at these pivotal moments.

Compare a shot like this one of Gabriel to the line of angels ready for battle. We don't get closeups on any of their faces because their emotions aren't important. Yes, that's in part because they're background characters, not main characters, but a lack of emotion — their willingness to enter this war without question — is also the point of their presence in this scene. So they remain a semi-identical, nearly faceless mass that runs off into infinity down that hallway, not any individual whose inner life we get a peek at via a closeup.

I particularly like Aziraphale's conversation with the angel... general? Idk what to call this guy. He's just gonna be Mustache Angel. But, getting back on track, his scene has a lot of over the shoulder shots which, admittedly, are pretty common. From a practical perspective they're used to help the audience situate both characters in the scene — you're here, you're there, this is how you're spaced during this conversation — but it can also help emphasize that closeness between them. Keeping both characters in the shot connects them and though Aziraphale and Mustache Angel definitely aren't on the same page here, those shots help cue us in to the unwanted intimacy of this moment. They're both angels... even though Aziraphale no longer aligns himself with them. They're both soldiers in a war... but Aziraphale will not fight. This angel has a list of Aziraphale's secrets, including that he once had a flaming sword and lost it... but Aziraphale doesn't want to admit those circumstances to him. This angel wouldn't understand, even if he did. Intimacy here, connection and closeness, is something discomforting because Aziraphale can no longer embrace those similarities. They put him (and us) out of sorts, so when we get them both in frame, that connection creates tension, not relief.

And many of those over the shoulder shots are given sharp angels, or the camera is placed too close to the "off screen" party. Compare a shot like Luke and Rey to Aziraphale and Mustache Angel. Here, Luke is a clean, solid line on the left side of the screen, just enough there to cue us in to where he is in relationship to Ray, In contrast, Mustache Angel's mustache is Too Close and proves rather distracting. Rey and Luke are connecting here over being Jedi with responsibilities to uphold (or at least, Luke will acknowledge that connection later lol); Mustache Angel is forcing a connection with Aziraphale that makes everyone uncomfortable.

We are too close to him here. He feels too close to Aziraphale too. This whole conversation is upsetting and discomforting, pushing Aziraphale to finally choose which side he's on (his own with Crowley). The shots aren't meant to subtly keep the audience from getting lost and then otherwise be unobtrusive, we're supposed to be Very Aware of this angel's body and how close he's getting to the character we've come to identify with — both literally (he's leaning in) and in terms of forcing Aziraphale to finally make his choice.

When Mustache Angel marches forward and gets all up in Aziraphale's face, the camera positions itself behind Aziraphale in a way that makes it feel like we're hiding behind him, with Aziraphale taking up far more of the screen than Luke does. Like the scene with Michael or running with Gabriel, the camera often likes to mimic a "realistic" response to these events. This angry, shouty angel is getting closer, best take a step back and stay out of sight behind Aziraphale, holding his ground.

These closeups also serve as a nice contrast to the wide and longshots we get of Heaven. It's an imposing place with skyscrapers in the distance, lots of steel, immaculate floors, and endless white. It's overwhelming and it's cold. But then we cut to those mid-shots of Gabriel and Michael, telling us that they're in control of it all.

Aziraphale? Aziraphale is not in control. Not now, anyway. When he appears in Heaven we get a longshot to show off this endless void and he's just another, tiny speck in it. If he weren't flailing around — an acting move that likewise helps sell how out of his depth he is — it's unlikely you'd even notice him. Aziraphale's clothing and hair blends in perfectly with the background. He's forgettable. Easily overlooked. Someone to underestimate. And when he moves, he has to come to the camera. We don't cut to Aziraphale to establish control like we do with Gabriel. He's left to awkwardly shuffle up to Mustache Angel until he's finally come into view.

Yet when Aziraphale makes his decision, he aligns himself with the brightest, most colorful, most interesting thing in the room: Earth. Earth, with all its messy individuality, is the antithesis to Heaven's controlled uniformity and a bright blue orb hanging in the midst of all this white helps remind us of that. Aziraphale rejects becoming one of the identical soldiers and instead literally reaches out for the one thing in Heaven that doesn't fit in.

When he leaves, we get an extreme closeup for the first time. Mustache Angel is pissed and as such we not only get a good look at his face in the aftermath of Aziraphale's choice, but that extreme closeup on his mouth as he's shouting too. It's like he's shouting directly at us, the viewer who is currently cheering on Aziraphale's decision. There's a war, dammit... but we don't care. Not in the way he cares, anyway.

So there's a lot! And I could probably go on, but apparently I'm only allowed to add 10 images per post now (tumblr what the actual fuck if anyone knows a way around this please share!) and I've already had to merge a bunch of images like an animal. So let's awkwardly finish up with the duck pond scene.

...without a GIF because they apparently count as images too 🙃

Simply put, I don't think Aziraphale bringing up fraternizing is a pivot from one to the other — from caring about Crowley to caring about Heaven's rules. I mean yes, Aziraphale is lagging behind Crowley in terms of rebellion and a part of him is, at this point, absolutely concerned with how he'll come across to the higherups, but that worry doesn't stem solely from a (now very shaky) desire to obey for the sake of obeying. The thing is, Aziraphale's disobedience is, by default, also Crowley's disobedience. If they're friends and they're ever found out, they'll both get in trouble. Which, we know from the end of Season One, basically means being wiped from existence. That's horrifying! And it's a horror that threatens them both. I don't think Aziraphale cares about rules for the sake of rules; after all, he started off by giving away his sword, lying to God, is currently meeting with Crowley anyway... this angel has always ignored/bent the rules — established and implied — that don't suit him. Rather, he cares about the rules if he thinks they have a chance of being enforced. If there will be consequences for breaking and bending them. This is still about caring for Crowley (as well as saving his own, angelic skin). If they're found out, Crowley dies. And, as we the viewer learn, Heaven was indeed observing them that whole time. There was always legitimate risk attached to this relationship. Aziraphale's fear, hesitance, and at times forceful pleas to stop this stem as much from Aziraphale worrying about Crowley's safety as they do a learned instinct to obey the rules without question. He pushes to end the relationship because the relationship threatens the only thing Aziraphale cares about more than that: Crowley himself.

As for the term "fraternizing," that's a loaded one! I won't go into a whole history lesson here, but suffice to say it has military roots: to sympathize as brothers with an opponent. That is literally what Crowley and Aziraphale are doing. They are an angel and a demon, supposedly innate enemies, supposedly poised for an inevitable war... yet they've formed an incredibly strong kinship. They've both learned to love their enemy, the thing every army fears because, well, then your army won't fight (just as Aziraphale won't). However, beyond the enemy implications, "to fraternize" eventually took on a sexual meaning: to not merely love as a brother, but to lay with the enemy too, usually women from enemy countries (because, you know, heteronormativity). Nowadays, "to fraternize" often implies a sexual component. I've been rewatching The Good Wife lately and in one subplot, the State's Attorney cracks down on fraternization in his office. He doesn't mean his employees are forming bonds with assumed enemies, he means his employees are having sex on his office couch. So Aziraphale's phrasing here carries a LOT of weight. He's both reminding Crowley of their stations in the world — you are a demon, I am an angel, us meeting like this can have formal, irrevocable consequences for us both — as well as, given the fact that this is a love story, drawing attention to the depth of this relationship. They love one another, as more than just friends. Though whether Crowley's scathing "Fraternizing?" is a response to Aziraphale falling back on the technicalities of their positions, or acknowledging a love he's yet to overtly admit and commit to — or both! — is definitely up for debate.

#Good Omens #Ineffable Husbands #Air Conditioning #mymetas #whew #long post! #with too few images imo #with this done I'm gonna steam #about tumblr's absurd limitations #how's a girl supposed to do meta on this website anyway

[cakesunflower]

Just My Kind [Teacher!Calum AU] Part 7

A/N: helloooooo i am back!! i’m sorry it took, like, forever for me to update this story omg. but i’m back with some more Odessa and Calum content hehe. happy reading!!

Previous Parts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 

        Her fingers in his hair was gentle, threading through the blonde strands lazily as opposed to the tight grip she’d had on them moments before. Neither of them made any indications of moving from their position, with Calum half laying on top of Odessa, face all but buried into the crook of her neck as his left arm lay across her bare stomach, their legs tangled together under the sheets, which were brought up to rest just below Odessa’s collarbones. The silence between them was comfortable, intimate, as they reveled in the afterglow of finally giving into one another, their breathing evening out and bodies melting into one another.

        She was warm under him, skin soft and smooth against his own, and Calum felt his eyes flutter as Odessa continued running her fingers through his hair. As much as he was coming down from a high that shook him to his very core, Calum’s mind was still playing catch up with what had just occurred. Being with Odessa was something Calum had been thinking about for so long—since they’d become friends and he got to know her. And the more he became familiar with her, the stronger the urge to be with her became. Knowing Odessa was a privilege—getting to be with her went beyond that.

        While her fingers raked through his hair, his own lightly trailed along her bare side, arm still resting across her body. His lips felt electric, an effect of kissing Odessa, selfishly wanting more. Instead, Calum broke their silence, voice soft as he said, “I know how to skate.”

        Odessa’s hand didn’t stop its movement. Without evening glancing up at her, Calum could hear the amusement in her voice as she asked, “What?”

        His cheek remained resting on her shoulder, left leg tangling with her right under the covers. “I know how to skate,” Calum repeated with a wry smile. “I just pretended to be struggling ’cause I knew you’d hold my hand.”

        His reasoning sounded foolish, childish, even to his own ears, but Calum stood by it. He’d gone weeks without having much interaction with Odessa, a distance imposed by her without so much as a word to him, and they’d finally been getting on track after she’d explained it to him. But childish or slick, Calum got her to hold his hand, and the feeling of her gloved fingers wrapping around him was one he welcomed immediately. Of course, the sensation of her glove-free digits wrapping around his when his body hovered over hers, lips meeting lips as he jutted his hips towards where she’d been craving him most, was ten times more thrilling and wonderful.

        “I know you were,” Odessa surprised him by answering, the smile evident in her tone. “You’re too good on your feet.”

        Calum raised his eyebrows, feeling his grin widening as he lifted his head to look down at her, brown eyes meeting glimmering blue. His chest was pressed against hers, the pendant of a necklace Ashton had given to him—as well as Luke and Michael—dangling between them. “So you wanted to hold my hand too, huh?”

        Odessa smiled, lips pink and kissed, her dark hair splayed against the white pillow. “Just a little,” she hummed before using her hand tangled in his hair to bring his head down, and Calum complied instantly to connect their lips.

        Returning the kiss, Calum’s left hand slid up from her side to cup her jaw, her lips parting to deepen the kiss as Calum pressed into her. A low, appreciative moan sounded from Odessa’s throat at the sensation, and Calum’s lips smiled against hers, reveling in the familiar way her fingers tightened around his hair. Every kiss sent a shockwave of electricity through Calum’s veins, like every cell in his body was being reignited with the thrill of kissing Odessa, something he’d been yearning to do for so long. She was a breath of fresh air and Calum hadn’t realized he’d been suffocating until this moment.

        “You gonna stay here tonight?” Odessa murmured, lips brushing against his as she spoke. They were so close, Calum could feel her long lashes fluttering against his own skin, could smell her fruity perfume he’d become so intimately familiar with—a pleasant combination of strawberry and vanilla.

        His eyes met hers, a small smile tilting at his lips. “Can I?”

        Her arm slid around his neck, nose bumping his own as she smiled, “Please.”

        It was the best night’s sleep he’d had.

        The next two days at Big Bear were spent indulging in the amenities of the resort. Calum enjoyed going on the slopes, either by himself or with a couple of students who genuinely enjoyed his company, and then joined Odessa whether it be going tubing, to the village, getting food, visiting the zoo—whatever they felt like taking part in. Though their chaperoning duties were never ignored, Calum made sure the two of them could selfishly steal away moments together, absent from the eyes of students and fellow teachers. Odessa never complained, all too compliant in his mischievous acts, a silent and mutual agreement that it was alright for them to have these instances with one another.

        Too soon was the trip over, and by Sunday evening, the school buses were pulling into the school’s parking lot. The teachers who’d chaperoned waited for all of the students to go home before leaving themselves, which didn’t take too long given that every student had either driven to the school themselves or were carpooling. It only took a few minutes for the parking lot to empty out, and shouldering his duffel bag, Calum walked alongside Odessa to where her car was parked, just two spots away from his own.

        The bus ride back home had been far more pleasant than when they had been heading to Big Bear. This time around, conversations between them flowed freely, the tense silence from the other day nowhere to be found. They had found a new familiarity between them, a sweet kind of intimacy, that allowed them to be more comfortable and open with one another than before. Of course, they had to be careful with what they talked about—they had been on a bus full of students, after all.

        “You know, I still have to take you out on a first date,” Calum said casually, the loose gravel of the parking lot crunching under his shoes.

        Odessa cast a look at him, eyebrows lifting in mild amusement. “Is that an observation or are you asking me out on a date?”

        “Both,” Calum responded with a small grin. “Preferably before the madness of midterms week drives us up the walls.”

        She scoffed as they reached her car, keys already in hand as she pressed the button to unlock the door. But Odessa made no move to get in, instead leaning back against the door, carry-on at her side as she gazed up at Calum. The sun was beginning to set, the sky cast in a pretty blend of pinks and purples, a soft glow on them—on her. Calum had quickly come to realize Odessa looked beautiful under any light, natural or not, and he was inclined to spend as much time as he could just by simply staring at her.

        “You know most of my schedule,” she told him pointedly, shrugging slightly. “If you wanna go after school, that works. Or the weekend. Whichever.”

        Calum hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head to the side. They were the last two in the parking lot, the rest of the teachers and students gone at this point. “Any preference of what you wanna do?”

        “I’m fine with a simple dinner,” Odessa told him truthfully, smile quirking. “There’s this Mediterranean place I’ve been wanting to try downtown—if you’re down.”

        He wasn’t surprised by her request; out of all the women Calum had come to know, Odessa was the most relaxed. There was nothing simple about her, in the best of ways, but if all she truly wanted was to have a nice dinner, then he would make sure she got it. Honestly, Calum didn’t care what they did—as long as he got to spend time with her. Calum took a step towards her, diminishing the small bit of space between them, dark eyes never leaving her bright blue. “So down,” he chuckled quietly.

        Her smile widened a bit, biting her lower lip as she did so, and another thought reluctantly crept through Calum’s mind. With a slight tilt of his head, he asked, “Is this something you wanna keep between us—for now? Until you talk to Paige?”

        Calum didn’t know the extent of what Paige said to Odessa—surely it was willful enough to push Odessa into putting some distance between him and her over the past few weeks. She had told Calum that she didn’t want him talking to Paige unless it had to do with his own relationship with Paige, because Odessa wanted to talk to her on her own as well, and Calum respected that decision. He just wanted to be careful with how they moved forward, not wanting to mess things up before they got started.

        Odessa paused for a moment, a thoughtful glaze over her eyes as she looked away briefly, mind turning. Calum waited patiently as she let out a long breath. “For now, yeah,” she answered slowly, dragging her gaze to meet his once more. “I don’t want us to tell, like, Luke or anyone and then have them hide it from Paige, you know? If she finds out then she’s just gonna spin it into some ridiculous narrative,” she said with a roll of her eyes, like that very situation was one she could easily see coming to life.

        He nodded along and with a quick note of the tension in her shoulders, Calum proceeded to try and ease some of it by smirking boyishly. “You sayin’ I’m your dirty little secret, Ms. Kline?” he mused, taking a step towards her, feeding into the constant need of wanting to be close to her.

        Pink dusted across her cheeks and Calum reveled in the effect he had on her, lifting her chin to maintain their gaze as he wound his arms around her waist. Her hands gripped his arms, her own mouth quirking as she replied, “You seem pretty excited about that title, so I’m gonna say yes.” Calum couldn’t help but lean down and press a gentle kiss to her smiling lips, feeling her hand reach up so fingers could graze along his jaw. Odessa let out a soft breath when they parted. “No matter how I phrase my words, I know Paige’s gonna be pissed. And I don’t really care about that but I just—I don’t know, I wanna be prepared for the shit she’s gonna say, you know?” The pink in her cheeks darkened, eyes sheepishly meeting his as she added in a mumble, “That probably sounds so stupid.”

        “No, it doesn’t,” Calum instantly reassured her, but a muscle in his jaw feathered at the idea of Paige running her mouth at Odessa. Maybe he was to blame, too. Maybe he’d given Paige some sort of false hope, or never was clear on his lack of interest. If Odessa had something to settle with Paige, then Calum knew he did, too. “You take your time and do what you have to do, Essa. I’ll be here the whole time.”

        Her response was in the form of a grateful smile followed by another kiss, which Calum welcomed wholeheartedly.

*****

        “Do you think it’s weird that this doesn’t feel weird?”

        Odessa raised her eyebrows as she sipped at her Coke, lips curling against the rim of the glass before setting it down. With a teasing smile, she asked, “Did you expect this to feel weird?”

        Across from her, Calum chuckled lowly, arms folding on top of the table as he leaned forward. “Not at all,” he replied smoothly. Then he grinned, the smile that always caught Odessa’s breath. “On the contrary—I’m relieved there’s no first date awkwardness, you know?”

        She did know. Odessa had been on enough first dates to recognize when they would lead to a longer relationship or if they’d end right there. Before every first date, Odessa remembered feeling the anxious nerves that always accompanied the excitement, the worry of whether or not the man she was with would be interested in her enough to want to see her again. But before, she’d gone out with men set up by other friends, men she hadn’t known quite well.

        This time, though, she knew the man who sat across from her. For the past few months, she’d gotten to known Calum; they became friends, a lot closer than she had expected them to grow. But he understood her, he gave her a sense of balance she hadn’t known she needed. He was her friend; someone who’d gotten to know her quite well, who Odessa was so unbelievably comfortable around that she never once felt as though she had to be someone else around him. He’d shown her exactly the kind of sincere man he was and Odessa hadn’t realized whatever walls she may have had disappeared almost immediately upon their introduction.

        “I’m not surprised there’s no awkwardness,” Odessa told him with a knowing laugh as her blue eyes met his brown. “Are you?”

        “Absolutely—I’m surprised we’re actually here.”

        Odessa raised an eyebrow, a playful glint seeping into her eyes as Calum took a sip of his drink following his words. The two of them were sitting on the outdoor patio of the Mediterranean restaurant Odessa had told him about, lights strung up above them and potted plants making up the perimeter of the patio. “Really?” Odessa questioned with another laugh. “After what happened on the trip, you’re surprised we’re on a date?”

        Calum grinned widely, boyish and handsome as the smile he wore called for the crinkles to appear in the corners of his warm brown eyes, illuminated by the glow of the lights above them. “Just relieved to know you didn’t lose interest,” he teased in return, throwing her a wink.

        Odessa leaned forward as well, her eyebrows flicking up, grin ever present. “Maybe I’m just in it for the free dinner.” Not that she would let him pay; she was perfectly fine with splitting the bill. She shrugged one shoulder, relenting, “But I guess the company’s not half bad.”

        Half bad, my ass. Odessa’s grin couldn’t be anymore genuine if she tried. Was it silly of her to feel so thrilled, so giddy, over the fact that she was currently having dinner with Calum? They’d gone out to eat a number of times before, but this felt different. And not just because they’d already slept together, had already crossed the line from being friends. No; right now, with the busy buzz of other restaurant patrons around them mingling with the noise of the city, with the lights above them twinkling and bathing the man in front of her in a warm glow, Odessa knew all of this was different.

        It was a step towards reaching a happiness she hadn’t thought she’d get. And, no, she wasn’t letting her overall happiness depend on a man, but she would be a fool not to acknowledge the relief that warmed her at the notion of being on something as simple as a date with Calum. And maybe that was silly, given that they’d slept together before this night, but she didn’t care. All of her focus was on Calum and that, by simply looking at him and knowing him, she was well aware that he was just as eager and excited to be there as she was.

        As the two of them enjoyed their appetizer of hot pita bread with hummus and tzatziki sauce, Calum asked, “Can I be honest with you, Essa?”

        She sat up, a curious tilt in her head. “Always.”

        “I didn’t think I’d get to have this chance.” Odessa blinked at him, momentarily unsure of what he meant, and a corner of Calum’s lips quirked up in a small smile. “Figured that we were only ever going to stay friends—nothing more. It’s why I never asked you out sooner because—another truth? I wanted to ask you out within one week of knowing you.”

        Odessa could truly feel her heart leap into her throat at Calum’s confession, unable to help the way her eyes widened ever so slightly. That long—he’d been wanting to be with her for that long? That was only slightly longer than Odessa wanting him—slightly. But still, the admission had her heart beginning to race. “Really?” she asked, and she would be embarrassed by how breathless she sounded if who she was speaking to was someone else. But with Calum, Odessa never truly felt insecure. “Only after a week of knowing me?”

        He smiled, boyish and playful. “Honestly, Luke talked about you enough before you ever moved here to make it seem like I already knew you,” Calum said, and Odessa sent a mental thanks to their tall blonde friend. “He’s one of my best friends and if he liked you that much, I knew if I ever met you, we’d get along well. And then he told me you were going to be my new colleague and it felt almost too perfect to know we had something as significant as our careers in common.” He paused, letting out a short, almost sheepish, chuckle. “That probably sounds stupid.”

        “It doesn’t,” she assured him. Odessa bit the inside of her cheek, a brief silence between them, her gaze never leaving his as she finally asked, “And when you actually got to know me?”

        There was nothing but uncompromised truth in his dark eyes, in his words, as he instantly responded, “You were better than anything I could’ve imagined.”

        Her cheeks flamed at the compliment, heart erratic, and for a moment Odessa remained breathless because of how Calum gazed at her. She didn’t think she ever was the subject of someone’s pure attention the way she was of Calum’s. He stared at her like he couldn’t get enough—stared at her the way she thought about him. Dipping a piece of pita in hummus, Odessa found herself mumbling, “You give me too much credit.”

        Not insecure—shy. Not used to being admired the way Calum did her. None of the men she’d been with before made her feel this way—like she was freefalling but wasn’t at all afraid, knowing there was someone to catch her at the bottom. Knowing that Calum was there.

        “No, I don’t,” Calum hummed. And the way he looked at her, Odessa knew that he knew her shy demeanor was just because of that—shyness, not insecurity. Which was why his lips curled into a smirk, leaning back in his seat as he gave a one shouldered shrug, “But I guess that’s alright—given that you so obviously thought the same thing about me when we first met.”

        There was a wickedly playful glint in his eyes, and Odessa felt her body relaxing and warming at the same time. The smile returned to her lips, widening as she said, “I’d say you’re full of yourself, but you’re not wrong.”

        “Really?” Calum asked, eyebrows shooting up as if that were news to him, as if he hadn’t just acknowledged it seconds ago. Leaning forward once more, the mischief sparking in his eyes, Calum jerked his chin. “Go on—what was the first thing you thought when you saw me?”

        Her response was instant. “That you weren’t as tall as Luke.”

        Calum’s expression fell flat and Odessa burst into laughter, unable to keep it in at the sight of the pout on his lips and narrowing of his eyes. “Nobody’s as tall as that fuckin’ giant,” Calum grumbled, resembling a petulant child, which only made Odessa laugh more. But she noted the twitch in his lips, knowing he was struggling to keep a straight face.

        Odessa’s laughter softened as she decided to give him the truth. “I thought you were handsome,” she told him factually despite the warmth in her skin. “And that yellow was a really great color on you.” Oh, she definitely remembered the yellow button down he’d worn on her first day of teaching—and the tattoos on full display she’d become intimately familiar with recently. “And then I got to know you and realized you’re more than just a pretty face.” Afterall, there was so much more to him than just that breathtaking smile.

        The same smile he was giving her now, but before Calum could respond, their waiter returned with their food, Odessa’s mouth watering at the chicken platter placed in front of her. As the two of them reached for their utensils, Calum said, “You know, I’m glad we waited until now to do this.”

        Odessa glanced up from where she was placing a napkin on her lap. “You are?”

        “Think about it—” Calum grinned, and Odessa was positive that he hadn’t stopped doing that since the moment he had picked her up, which made her heart flutter all on its own. He spoke with his hands, the few rings he wore, along with the chain bracelet, glinting as it caught the light. “We built a solid friendship over the months which only served to help you realize how into me you are—” Odessa let out a startled yet amused laugh at his casualness and Calum snickered. She wasn’t necessarily going to argue with him, and he knew that. “And because of that, we realized how much of a perfect fit we are and we’re finally doing this.”

        Her cheeks were hurting from how much she was smiling, absolutely smitten by Calum and how damn easy this was with him. So effortless. She smiled at him, knowing he could tell she agreed by the look in her eyes as she repeated, “A perfect fit, huh?”

        His smile turned wolfish, a wicked glint in his eyes as he leaned forward, deep voice dropping low as he said, “If you’d like another demonstration, I’d be more than happy to show you, Ms. Kline.”

        Odessa’s cheeks flushed, images of what they’d gotten up to at Big Bear flashing through her mind without warning, and she could feel her heart picking up its pace at the smirk Calum wore. Like he knew exactly what she was thinking about that was warming her skin. She dropped her gaze to her food, pulling her smiling lower lip into her mouth before she looked at him once more. The heat in his gaze was enough to melt her as she found herself saying, “Maybe after dinner.”

        It hadn’t been difficult to keep that promise.

        After dinner—they’d spent a little over two hours at the restaurant, lost in their chatter and each other’s company—Calum had asked if Odessa would want to come over for a drink or two, and who was she to reject such an offer?

        And yet their wine sat forgotten on the coffee table, glasses half drunk before Odessa and Calum’s interest shifted to one another. She wasn’t one to wear dresses often, but Odessa damn near celebrated the decision to wear a summer dress on her date with Calum—and appreciated the warm weather of California. Her dress, a dusty pink spaghetti strapped number, worked in her favor as she straddled Calum’s lap, knees bent on either side of his thighs, her hands grasping his jaw as he kissed her like she was the breath of fresh air he was desperate for.

        His own hands had disappeared under the spread of the skirt of her dress, his touch warm against the bare skin of her thighs as the rings added a chilling sensation. Odessa couldn’t give a shit about the wine and she knew neither could Calum. It had been his subtle way of inviting her home with him instead of outright crudely suggesting it, and she knew that he knew she would understand what he was asking from her. Odessa was more than willing to give him exactly what they both wanted.

        “I really did intend for us to have a couple of drinks, y’know,” Calum spoke against her lips, voice a deep rasp that sent shivers down her spine.

        His lips were so soft, faintly tasting of the bottle of red they’d abandoned, and Odessa couldn’t get enough of his kisses. “Sure you did,” she smiled, right hand reaching up to push back some short blonde curls that fell across his forehead. Her nose brushed against his, hooded gaze on Calum as she mused, “We could go back to just drinking, if you want.”

        That wasn’t at all what he wanted. They both knew it.

        That wicked glint returned to his eyes that dropped to her mouth. “Maybe later,” he dismissed before capturing her lips in another searing, heart stopping kiss.

        Odessa’s shoes had long since been kicked off, and as her fingers buried in the soft locks of Calum’s hair, he smoothly pushed himself to his feet as Odessa’s legs automatically wrapped around his hips. Calum moved them around his house efficiently, never once breaking the kiss as they entered his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him in case Duke woke up from his slumber in the living room and trotted inside. Couldn’t have that.

        Odessa couldn’t hope to keep track of every piece of clothing that slid off their bodies, too wrapped up in the kisses Calum dizzied her with, both of their bodies moving on their own accord to undress and become as close as they could. She was vaguely aware of the soft mattress beneath her, aware that she was almost completely naked as her hand slid up the expanse of Calum’s bare, tattooed chest, fingers hooking around the chain of his necklace as he loosely bit his lower lip, watching her heatedly as he slipped her underwear right off her legs.

        She was greedy for him; for the taste of him, for the feel of his skin against hers—everything Calum had to offer, Odessa desperately wanted it. He was a sight to behold as he kneeled above her, blonde hair mussed from her fingers and lips kissed and swollen. The glaze of his eyes as he looked down at her, hunger and need ever present, was enough to set her skin on fire as Calum finally leaned down to connect their lips.

        Odessa could feel the cool metal of his necklace brushing against the base of her throat as his teeth nipped at her lower lip before his tongue slid in, his left arm propping him above her as she felt his right hand slide down her body. Odessa was sure Calum could feel her heart racing, their chests pressed together, and she gasped against his mouth at the shock of his finger brushing against her folds.

        His lips, teeth, and tongue teased her neck and throat as he pushed a finger in, and Odessa dug her fingers into his back as he pulled sounds out of her that sang like music to Calum’s ears. He never ceased his ministrations, taunting her with one finger and then two, his lips never leaving her skin before silencing her moans with deep kisses.

        His fingers worked her expertly, thumb playing with her clit as Odessa groaned against him, fingers digging into his back as her hips moved on a mind of their own, grinding against him. Calum chuckled against her lips breathily, voice a deep rasp as he mused thoughtfully, “I was planning on taking my time with you—”

        “Later,” Odessa ground out, the mere thought of having to wait to feel him inside her in the way that mattered driving her crazy. Because, knowing them, there most likely would be a later, and Calum could do whatever he planned then.

        He smirked, looking all to like a man who knew exactly what he was doing to her, his fingers never ceasing their movements, tongues sliding together in a dance they’d never tire of. Calum was sinfully slow in his movements, purposefully taking his time in drawing out the release Odessa sought, not even allowing her to creep to the edge when he pulled his fingers out.

        She let out a pathetic whimper against his lips at the loss of contact, a shaky breath escaping her as Calum broke the kiss. She knew she looked as flushed as she felt, watching as Calum brought his hand up, two fingers slick with her, and her heart raced as she watched him lick his fingers clean.

        “As sweet as you look,” Calum commented after pulling his finger out of his mouth, and the sight of it had a new heat pooling in Odessa’s core, hands eagerly grasping at his jaw before pulling him down once more. She tasted herself on him, moaning into his mouth, his hand tightening its grip on her hip as she felt the delicious scratch of his stubble against her skin.

        Lost in his kisses, Odessa could vaguely hear some shuffling as Calum pulled out a condom, breaking the kiss as she watched him tear open the package with his teeth, brown eyes never leaving her blue.

        He was between her legs, large hands gripping her hips, and through her indulgent haze, Odessa flicked her eyebrows up when Calum paused. With a small grin, he mused, “I want you to know I don’t normally do this after the first date.”

        A huff of a laugh escaped her, his touch electrifying her veins as he peered down at her. Skin on fire, Odessa breathlessly responded, “Glad to know I got you to deviate from your usual routine.”

        His grin widened, eyes dark as he drank in the sight of her, naked and ready for him. He looked like a man starved, ready to devour her. She was desperate for it. Calum leaned over her, lean body covering hers and Odessa’s throat locked in anticipation when she felt him brush against her entrance. Calum’s hair brushed against her forehead, lips slanting against hers as he murmured, “You’re the exception.”

        He slid into her and Odessa clung to him, never getting enough of him, the need to be close to him in every way burning through her. Not for the first time Odessa wondered how she went so long without this; without the delirious sensation of Calum fitting inside her, the warmth of his skin seeping into hers, or the way everything else in the world melted away when he kissed her like it was the last thing he’d ever do.

        They’d kept themselves away from each other for longer than either of them would’ve liked—it was a realization they’d come to on that night at Big Bear. They would be damned if they kept away from one another now.

*****

        The next two and a half weeks hurried by in a blur. Midterms came quickly and Odessa, and fellow teachers, were swamped with grading exams, more or less hounding students for missed assignments, and calculating all of their grades as the semester wrapped up. But then the holiday break rolled around, and despite the excitement of the festivities, Odessa felt at peace.

        Her mom had finally arrived, alongside her boyfriend, Mitchell—Mitch—and her grandparents’ house was full of joy and love and presents. School wouldn’t be back in session until January second, so Odessa took whatever time she didn’t spend with her family making lesson plans for the second half of the school year. But Odessa felt so relaxed in the company of her family—of her mother who she hadn’t seen for a while and the overall festive fun that surrounded them. They’d decorated the tree, she had baked enough cookies with Grams to feed an army, and enjoyed beating everyone else in various rounds of Scrabble. Her grandfather had half a mind to kick her out of the game, claiming it wasn’t fair an English teacher was playing against them.

        Being surrounded by her family had put Odessa to ease. She hadn’t seen much of her friends, everyone too busy with their own families to venture out—especially Calum, who was in New Zealand with his mother, their only form of communication a few texts throughout the day. Not that Odessa minded; he hadn’t seen his mother in a while, like she hadn’t seen her own. She understood his need to spend as much time with his mom, just like she did hers.

        Truthfully, Odessa was grateful for the holiday season. It allowed her to put off a conversation she wasn’t too keen on having with Paige—though one, she knew, she would have to have sooner rather than later. When winter break was rolling around, Odessa had sheepishly confessed to Calum that she wanted to wait until after the festivities to talk to Paige, though she had been nervous he would somehow interpret her putting off the conversation as her not taking her blooming relationship with Calum seriously. But to her great relief, he had agreed, saying that he’d been thinking of talking to Paige after Christmas time, too.

        “Besides, I’ll be a whole ocean away—it’s not like she can keep flirting while I’m in New Zealand,” Calum had joked during their last lunch together before he had flown off.

        Odessa had rolled her eyes at him, sourly telling him that Paige would probably find a way. Calum had chuckled and kissed her, and Odessa had promptly put any thoughts of Paige out of her head.

        But now she sighed. It was Christmas Eve and she was sitting on the back porch, looking up at the dark sky glittering with stars, as the taunting voice in the back of her head called her pathetic for putting it off for too long. She tried to justify it by telling herself that, as much as Paige annoyed her, Odessa wasn’t in the business of being a downer on the holidays. Besides, it wasn’t like she was avoiding the problem; she was very much aware it was there and needed to be fixed. She had no intention of Paige continuing whatever pursuits she had on the man Odessa was in a relationship with.

        Not that anyone actually knew about them, save for Odessa’s family. Still, though, her and Calum were together and if Paige wanted to be with him without anything being held over her head and pressing down on her like a weight, she would need to talk to Paige sooner rather than later. Clear the air and either once and for all distance herself from her or start over. Though, if Odessa was being honest, she was more inclined to go with the former.

        “You okay, sweetheart?”

        Odessa looked over her shoulder to see her mother step out, two mugs of what Odessa could smell as rich hot chocolate in her hand. “Yeah, I’m good,” she answered with a small smile, patting the space next to her. “Sit.”

        Handing Odessa one of the mugs, her mom settled down, arms braced on her knees as she looked at her daughter. “So what’s going on with you? You had your lost-in-thought face on before.”

        Odessa quirked an eyebrow, pointing out, “How would you know? You were standing behind me.”

        Her mom scoffed, shooting her a look. “You think I need to see your face to know?” she returned, and Odessa’s lips tilted up. “Come on—spill.”

        Odessa stalled for a moment by taking a sip of the hot chocolate, the warm drink delicious on her tongue as the cicadas chirped in the night. “There’s nothing to spill, honestly. I’m just dreading my inevitable conversation with Paige.”

        “Ah,” her mom nodded, eyebrows flicking up in understanding. Despite her mom constantly being away because of work, Odessa still found time to let her mother know the on goings of her life. The two of them were quite close, especially after everything they went through with Odessa’s dad, so there was no way Odessa didn’t let her know about the situation she was caught in with Paige and Calum. “Do you want my opinion?”

        Odessa shot her a wry smile. “We both know you’ll give it anyway.”

        Her mom grinned, gripping her mug in both hands. The porch light above them softened her features, showing off the few streaks of grey coloring her otherwise dark hair. “I don’t think you owe Paige anything.” Odessa blinked in surprise, not at all expecting her mom, of all people, to say that. “From what you’ve told me, there was never a relationship between her and Calum—it’s not like you swiped her boyfriend, honey. It was just bad luck on her part for wanting someone who has an interest in you and not her. That doesn’t make it your fault. Or Calum’s.”

        “I—that’s not how she’s going to see it,” Odessa said, stumbling over her words as her mom’s registered in her head.

        “And how are you to blame for that?” her mom challenged with a raise of her eyebrow. She clicked her tongue, turning so she was facing Odessa, their knees brushing together. “Look, if you want to talk to her to clear the air, to get her to stop pursuing Calum, then that’s fine. But I sincerely hope you’re not going to apologize to the girl for being in a relationship.”

        Odessa blinked at her mother, letting what she said sink in as her grip on the mug tightened. No—Odessa wasn’t going to apologize to Paige for being with Calum. Apologizing for that meant that Odessa was sorry for it, which she wasn’t. The relief and happiness she had felt when she realized he felt the same way about her, the contentment she had experienced that night in her hotel room, were all feelings she could never be sorry for. Seeing him in the hallways at school after they got back from the trip and having that knowledge of them being together was giddy enough to drive her up the walls.

        How could she ever be sorry for it?

        “No,” Odessa said absently, distracted by the conclusion she came to. She could feel her mom’s gaze on her as she finally looked at her, giving a determined nod. “No apologies. I have nothing to be sorry for, and I’m not going to let her make me feel like I do.” Because knowing Paige, that’s exactly what Odessa would be in for.

        Not this time.

--

tags: @irwinkitten @loveroflrh @astroashtonio @meetashthere @loverofhood @captain-what-is-going-on @angelbabiesss @singt0mecalum @hopelessxcynic @lfwallscouldtalk @bodhi-black @findingliam-o @softlrh @highfivecalum @malumsmermaid @erikamarie41 @quintodosuniversos @longlastingdaydream @babylon-corgis @lukehemmingsunflower @miss-saltwatercowgirl @pastelpapermoons @conquerwhatliesahead92 @rotten-kandy @neigcthood @ohhmuke @mindkaleidoscope @5sos-and-hessa @trustmeimawhalebiologist @vxlentinecal @pettybassists @vaporshawn @lu-my-golden-boi @visualm3nte @isabella-mae13 @dontjinx-it @lifeakaharry @neonweeknds @antisocialbandmate @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave @calpalbby @grreatgooglymoogly @sunnysidesblog @miahelizaaabeth @dramallamawithsparkles @kaytiebug14 @hoodskillerqueen @bitchinbabylon @empathycth @xhaileyreneex @tpwkcal @sublimehood @madbomb @raabiac @britnicole11 @outofmylimitcal @wildflower-cth @wildflowergrae @bloodmoonashton @vxidhood @gosh-im-short @notinthesameguey​ @mycollectionofnuts​ @cthwldflwr​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @socorroann​ @talkfastromance4​ @calumftduke​ @musichoney​ @treatallwithkindness​ @partlysunnycal​ @dead-and-golden​ @kaeleykaeley​ @harrys-sun-flower​ @br-hoe​ 

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“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #1

If you enjoyed my Aone series as much as I enjoyed writing it: then you may enjoy this........

Writer’s block is a bitch rn but at least I have drafts to post! I have like 10 or so of these mini outtakes so if y’all want them all please let me know. Personally I’m in love with them cause you guys know how much I love our Mountain Man😭

This is are not a story per se: they are outtakes from my Aone series) that do not follow a strict timeline. But same story line.

What is an Outtake?

Basically, outtakes are parts of yours & Aone’s love story that weren’t included where Part 0 picked up because it happened either before or after the series.

Remember that Aone crushed on you for 2 years before you two got together detailed in this matchup, so these are glimpses of what kind of interesting things happened during his crushing period.... all the way up until today when you two are happily together. Some are PG and some will be straight up smut after y’all get together. I love writing these omg! If you need any help understanding shoot me a message, but it’s fairly straightforward. 

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE SERIES’ TABLE OF CONTENTS!

Enjoy my babies:

————————————

Aone 2 Weeks Into Crushing On You:

“Aone...... stop staring at her.” Kenji scoffs at his friend as they sat down at lunch.

“I’m not.” Muttered mountain man as he dug into his food.

“Okay but you say that.......while still staring at her.” Kenji deadpans in annoyance. He had been watching his best friend stare at his crush on the other side of the cafeteria for the past 20 minutes. Y/N was with the rest of the cheer team—basically the smallest one—laughing vibrantly with her friends. Aone’s heart was tight as he watched you laugh, once again silently wishing you would notice him and perhaps laugh at something he said like that.

“The cheerleaders look really good in their new uniforms this school year, huh?” Kenji tried.

His big friend grunted in agreement but he really only thought Y/N looked phenomenal in uniform. Everyone else looked whatever.

“You should tell her how pretty you think she looks today.”

“Uh, I......can’t.” Aone said without changing his expression. Inside, though, he was a big blushy baby.

“Why not? It’s been two weeks since you first saw her and you obviously kinda like her so I think you should!”

Aone shook his head tightly. “Is that what you would do?” He finally looked at his friend: the only person in Aone’s life that he actually confided in. Kenji nodded.

“Oh, most def. See Y/N’s cheer captain, Katana? I have a little crush on her. Want to see how I tell her?”

“You’re attracted to her. You don’t have a crush on her. There’s a difference.”

“Tomatoe Tomahtoh! Watch.” Kenji calls Y/N’s friend’s name from across the caf at the cheerleaders table. Her face brightens when she sees it was Kenji calling her, and she skips over to their table.

Aone blended into the background as usual when bubbly girls came around. Someone with his silent demeanour didn’t really make waves to them.

Kenji spoke to her while remaining seated, ever the nonchalant semi-fuckboy. He had his hands in his pockets the entire time and Aone just knew that he’d never be able to pull that “I don’t care” vibe off with his crush. When you came around, every nerve in Aone’s body stood at attention and he just focused in on you. He couldn’t help it.

“You look really good in your uniform by the way. Fits like a glove.” Kenji flirted passively.

Y/N’s captain beamed like a newly chosen puppy at the pet mart. “Really?! You think so?! Thanks a lot, Futakuchi!!!”

Aone resisted the urge to roll his eyes at how much these ladies fell over his friends antics.

But Aone couldn’t help but wish you would look at him like Katana looked at Kenji. It had only been two weeks since he’s first laid eyes on you, but you brightened his days unknowingly and he just wanted to be the reason for your smile.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭

Aone heard a tiny squeal coming from his right where the cheerleaders were so he looked over to see you skipping towards them.

🚨 🚨 🚨 HOLY FUCK you were coming to his table! 🚨 🚨 🚨

Aone’s heart literally stopped. He looked to Futakuchi in alarm, though his face seemed unaffected to the average person.

Kenji smirked back at the white haired giant, as if to say “exactly according to plan.”

You approached the table like the bundle of energy you are and Takanobu practically let his static demeanour switch so he could sigh happily as the fruity scent you wore hit him.

You were so close: you were so perfect: and you were so beautiful. Aone’s eyes didn’t leave you for a second.

You stopped beside the table with a smile for your cheer captain.

“Katana! Coach wants us stretching on the field in 3 minutes, let’s go!” Not noticing anyone else, you tugged on your captain’s sleeve and then grabbed her wrist to bring her back to the team.

Katana waved at Kenji as she was being dragged away. “Oh, okay, so I’ll see you Saturday night Kenji?! You can pick me up at 8!”

Kenji nodded nonchalantly, his attention mainly back to his friend who was staring at his retreating crush.

“You could have at least said hi.” Kenji crumpled his napkin, annoyed. “The only reason I asked Katana out is because your crush doesn’t leave her alone for two seconds so I knew she’d come over here. That was your chance!”

Takanobu ate a spoonful of his yogurt, turning only to his brown-eyed future captain solely because you had exited the cafeteria. “Well, I happen to think that was a successful greeting between Y/N and I.” He deduced.

“What?! Are you kidding me?! How?!”

“She’s never been that close to me before. She smells good. Like apples. I like apples, very much.”

Kenji deadpanned. “You hate apples.”

“And now I like them. So, I deem that a success.”

Kenji sighed in defeat as the bell rang to signify the end of lunch. “Listen Aone-san I know this is your first crush and it’s super intense and all, but please—you better not go this slowly in your pursuit of her. A freaking snail is beating you in a race to her heart, man. Y/N is one of the prettiest girls in this school and definitely the cutest on the cheer team so a lot of guys want her.”

Aone frowned, visibly upset at the idea that other men wanted his crush. But he knew that given how perfect you are to him, it just wasn’t logical to believe he’d be the only one who desired you. “I’m well aware, Futakuchi—“

“Good. I’m just saying. You better not wait like 2 years or something to finally make a move. Please, promise me you won’t do that.”

————————————

Aone 1 Month Into Crushing On You When He’s Eager To See You:

“Team, please hurry. We shouldn’t be late to our own pep rally.” Commander-Takanobu of the boys Date Tech volleyball team commanded.

The team of giants was on their way to the gymnasium for the Date Tech High School’s annual pep rally that shone light on the schools most prominent athletic teams: Boys Soccer, Boys Golf, Girls Tennis and the team of yours truly (MOUNTAIN MAN! 🏔).

Kanji laughed as he spun a volleyball on his finger then scrambled to pick it up because it dropped. “It’s cooler to be fashionably late!” He exclaimed loudly in the halls before Futakuchi shot him a look of irritation when the ball he dropped again hit him on the side of the head.

“Heh. Sorry.. senpai. I’m just saying to Aone-kun that Y/N is more likely to notice him if we come into the pep rally looking all cool and late.”

Stopping dead in his tracks, the giant mountain man almost tripped up the rest of the team who was following close behind him. They all yelled in protest as they regained their footing.

Aone ignored everyone, turning around to peer at his early growth-spurted underclassman. “Is this true?” He asked sincerely. “Y/N will notice...uh....me....if we walk in late?”

Stepping in, Futakuchi put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, shooting Koganegawa another glare as he did so.

“Absolutely no guarantee, buddy.” Kenji assured Aone. “Y/N will be really busy cheering, right? Just like the first time you saw her and she didn’t notice you pointing at all. So, chances are slim now, too.”

Aone sighed, disappointed though you couldn’t tell by looking at his face if you weren’t Kenji Futakuchi.

“Oh, okay.”

🙁😩🥺🥺🥺🥺

“You really like her, Aone?” Asked Koganegawa, feeling bad for getting his nice teammate’s hopes up.

Aone nodded, feeling an ache in his heart as he thought about how much he cared for you, his perfect crush.

“But you guys are so...........different. I mean she’s like always overly nice and bouncing off the walls and talking in class and stuff, right? And you’re just............not?”

“I like Y/N just the way she is, and for everything that she is.”

“But.... and I mean NO disrespect, but.........does she even notice you? Uh... she just seems so consumed with cheer and all things rainbow. She’s always ignoring anyone who isn’t in her social level—“

Aone shakes his head as the ache in his heart becomes a bit more painful at his teammates words.

“Y/N does not notice me. Not at all, unfortunately. But I notice her. Everyday. And that in itself makes me happy.”

GUYS I CANT —— ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😭

The team nodded in pity, the lot of them collectively feeling really sorry for their best player and his unrequited love.

Kenji clapped his hands, startling everyone out of their misery filled states.

“Okay! The good news is that we have a pep rally to attend, right now, right?! Aone, be happy— you get to see Y/N in uniform again today!”

Aone’s eyes lit up, only recognizable by Futakuchi, as he nodded.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

Kenji Futakuchi stayed behind a few extra seconds as his teammates strolled on ahead. He had to take a moment to himself to think about how he would be there for Aone when his heart got shattered for the first time....by a girl (you) who is in the same school and class but hasn’t even noticed his existence yet.

Y/N didn’t return Takanobu’s strong feelings—that Kenji knew for sure—and so he just prayed that his big scary looking friend would never have to find that out for himself.

————————————

Aone 4 Months Into Crushing On You And Hears That You Have A Crush On Someone Else ☹️:

Sprinting outdoors, Kenji had to clasp a hand over his open gym bag to catch up to his friend who had already started walking home without him

Being that Aone has waited to walk home with Kenji every single day since they started first year together ... it was clear to Kenji that whenever his friend did this.... it was a sign that he was very upset

“Hey, big guy!” Kenji fell into step with his white haired friend, chancing a glance up at him.

Takanobu was famous for his perpetual scowl or angry frown which he had on his face even now, but Kenji knew better than to believe it. He could tell whenever his friend was deeply upset or hurt, just like Aone had been when they were 10 and the Takanobu’s divorced.....but right now, by Futakuchi’s analysis: Aone was feeling far worse than he did back then.

“Who told you, big guy?” Asked Kenji with an accompanied sigh.

“Koganegawa. It slipped.” Carrying on the silent topic-less conversation.

Kenji growled. “That big boned setter! When I see him next practice I’m gonna—“

“No. It wasn’t his fault. I was going to find out eventually. But why didn’t you tell me, Kenji? I would have much rather heard it from you.”

“I’m so sorry man. I was going to on our walk home today.”

Aone nodded, instantly being able to tell that that was Futakuchi’s true intention.

“Y/N’s crush......the guy on the baseball team.....He likes her...back?” Mountain man only stared straight ahead, trying not to let his hurt seep through his voice.

The brunette boy stuffed his hands in his pockets, dreading this conversation already.

“From what I heard of their conversation....y-yeah. Apparently they met at the last baseball game and it started raining so he gave her his team jacket to keep warm—“

“—I don’t need to hear the logistics.” Aone felt his heart tighten even more as his usual fantasy of you looking beautiful wearing his “#7” Date Tech Volleyball Jacket being bumped to the side by a visual of you wearing the baseball jacket of some guy who doesn’t deserve you.

“Hey, no one knows how serious they are, right? They’re just talking.”

“Does he make her happy? I mean... did Y/N look happy when he gave her his jacket?” Even though it was killing Aone to even ask, he was glad he did.

The brunette player, on the other hand, did not want to answer. For when he saw his best friend’s crush and her new crush together, she looked extremely happy. It formed an immediate knot in Kenji’s stomach because he knew how much seeing those two would hurt his best friend. But if he was being honest when that jacket was put over your shoulders your smile had been wider than Kenji would like to admit.

“Relatively..uh...happy, I guess.”

Aone’s frown deepened. He knew Kenji well enough to know that he was trying protect his heart on Aone’s behalf. He didn’t call him out on it though, he knew that your smile must have been wide. You probably did seem happy..

It hurt him intensely. Looking away, Aone stated something matter of fact:

“Well, he isn’t good enough for her.”

Futakuchi looked up at mountain man. “You know him?!”

“No. I don’t need to in order to know that she’s too good for any guy at this school, including me.”

Kenji laughed, patting his friend on the back. “You’re closest though,” he encouraged. “Maybe you should—“

Kenji was immediately silenced as both him and mountain man were greeted with an ugly sight. A depressing sight, actually.

Standing to the right of the front school doors was Y/N and the baseball boy. Y/N had her hair up in a high ponytail that looked absolutely gorgeous on her in Aone’s opinion. What wasn’t gorgeous, however, was how you were swatting the baseball player’s arm flirtatiously and speaking energetically with him. You held your school books close to your chest like Aone loved because you looked so cute and smart even though he knew you never opened those books.

He tried to look away—he did—but the team knew that Aone never looked away when he saw you at school and unfortunately that kind of old habit is sure to die hard.

“Just keep walking, buddy....” Kenji tried, swapping spots with Aone so that Kenji was at least partially blocking the heart-breaking view that is his best friend’s crush flirting with one of her many pursuers. Kenji kind of wanted to push the guy into the doors as they walked past them “accidentally” but his better judgement told him otherwise.

————————————

Aone 4 1/2 Months Into Crushing On You While You Have A Crush On Someone Else 💔:

Back at their signature lunch table, Aone sat with his best friend and some other members of the volleyball team.

The big-boned setter was exuberantly telling the team a story about him and his brother when Futakuchi noticed that his white haired friend was the only one at the table not listening at all

In Aone’s defence, he was paying attention during the first half of his underclassman’s story tale.....well, until you walked in to the cafeteria.

No one even blamed him because they knew about his intense crush on you—

You captured all of the big man’s attention whenever you walked into a room, it was just second nature now.

Aone loved seeing you smile and talk with your friends but he hated when you would talk to those who liked you as more than a friend—

That damn baseball player had approached you again just now and it really pissed Aone off.

You looked up and chatted with the baseball boy happily, just as you did with everyone (except for your enemy: the class snitch because fuck that guy)

Aone’s eyes fixated on the pair of you.

He was so sad because he liked you so much 💔

His feelings grew stronger everyday, and it hurt him to see you two in the hallway or in class flirting like it wasn’t destroying his heart

Aone knew that it wasn’t logical that he could choose to never make a move on you and still expect you to like him .... that much he admitted to himself

But he at the very least hoped you’d notice him.

Even though he was silently crushing: once you noticed him he’d take it from there, he knew he would

But until then...... you just went about your days looking beautiful as ever, chatting your business loudly in class so Aone could hear, ultimately making him fall for you even more

In the cafeteria that day you had not a clue that when you were just being friendly to one of your admirers (that you actually had 0 feelings for), in actuality— you were simultaneously crumbling the heart of a certain white haired giant who would one day become the most important person to you .......in a year and a half.

————————————

Outtake #2: CLICK HERE!

#aone can get it #aone takanobu smut #aone takanobu #aone takanobu x you #aone x y/n #aone x reader #hq aone #haikyu aone #kenji futakuchi #sexy hq boys #losty aone #mountain man #haikyu headcanon #koganegawa kanji #haikyuu boys #haikyuu fluff

[eleven-times-lively]

Eternal Love - 1

Summary: Love by fate, connection at heart, soul despite sight. Cedric x blind!OC  Word Count: 1879 Note: Omg it feels amazing to be writing again! This is a fantastic miniseries so buckle up and follow along! Also I’m not doing taglists anymore. 💕

Soft, gentle humming filled the otherwise gloomy air. “This way,” she whispered to the space around her, continuing onward. To anyone else the sight would have been a deterrent, but for her it was no issue. 

The sky was black and thunder cracked just above the clouds. A storm was circling overhead, both of clouds and blood. She navigated the hills and crevices of the decrepit graveyard with ease, pushed by an invisible force

“Cedric, no!” 

Her head whipped around trying to find the source of the noise.

The whisper in her ear told her to crouch down, stay hidden for now. She did exactly that, not quite knowing what she was hiding from or why. A flurry of commotion ensued. Spells were thrown about, blasts and powerful forces firing off from every direction. After a surprisingly short time, she felt compelled to stand again, thanking the spirits for making her hide in the first place.

She stepped around the grave behind which she had been hiding, and remained silent to examine the scene. She heard a light choking from somewhere nearby, almost as if drowned out by gasps for life. Her invisible guide brought her to the source, which was immediately silenced by her presence.

“Please,” the voice pleaded. She stepped back for a moment, not expecting the voice to sound so deep and rugged, yet… knowing. 

“Is it safe?” She murmured, though more to herself than anything. She pondered before nodding, once again taking a step forward. “Do you need help?” Her melodic voice her on injured ears, dropping the jaw of the injured boy before her.

“Please,” he once again choked out. She reached out an arm, allowing him to grab on and help himself to his feet. “Please… I-”

“I know,” she interrupted, placing a gentle hand on his arm. She shut her eyes, muttering to herself before a globe of light encircled them, transporting them away from the desolate sight.

***

The warm cottage was a welcome change from the battlesight. With a flick of her wrist, a fire was lit and the hearth was aglow. She helped the boy over to her single chair in the corner, examining him with a cautious eye. 

“You have seen much trouble,” she murmured. “Be still.” Before the boy had time to protest, small flecks of light infiltrated the space around him, shrouding him in brightness. 

A small, shrill sound erupted from the boy's mouth before all went quiet. The light died down, and left was a boy no longer covered in blood, but in fear. “What are you?” He whispered, trying but ultimately unable to back away from the girl before him.

“Do not fear, friend. I am here to help.” She took his hand, an empty stare cast deep into his widened eyes. “What is your name?”

“Cedric.” The sound came out as barely more than a whisper.

“Cedric,” she repeated, feeling the words in her mouth. “I’m Li.”

“Who are you?” His pupils were still blown wide, knuckles turning white as he gripped onto the chair.

“A friend,” she told him again. She took a step forward, tripping over his outstretched leg. She would have caught herself, but not before Cedric’s large arms did it for her.

“Woah there,” he chuckled, studying her face. “Are you okay?”

“Heavens,” she muttered. “Thanks for that.” Speaking to an invisible force, she nodded curtly at Cedric and walked away. 

Li returned with the tea, walking slowly as she was wary of any more stray limbs. “Oolong tea, it will calm you.”

“Thanks…” Cedric was hesitant to take the cup, but did nevertheless. “Now can you explain all of this?” He gestured around vaguely.

“Very well.” She sat in the chair opposite him. “My name is Li, and I am one with the spirits of the forest.” She stopped speaking, seemingly at the end of her rather short oration.

“That’s it?” He nearly chuckled. “You can’t be more than my age, why don’t I know you?”

“Hogwarts did not want my type of magic, and without parents I could not travel to another school. No one else was willing to help me.”

“Help you?”

“Well I am blind.”

Cedric said nothing, his mouth forming a small O. “And you keep talking to nothing?”

Her mouth upturned slightly. “Not nothing, the spirits. I can connect with the spirits held deep within the forest. They are my friends. My guides. That’s how I found you.” 

His eyes went wide. “I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“I’m not entirely sure. Hogwarts didn’t want you? You don’t have parents?”

“I suppose I’m doing well for myself.” She smiled weakly, pausing for a moment. “When will you go back?”

“To Hogwarts?”

She nodded. “Well Harry thinks I’m dead doesn’t he?”

She nodded again.

“I think I need to heal first, after that I’m not sure. May I stay here?”

“Absolutely. Come, let me show you the spare room.”

*** 

Cedric rose the next morning to the smell of breakfast and fresh tea. He crept down the stairs, but was sure to make enough noise as to not startle Li.

“Hello, Cedric.”

It was, in fact, Cedric who was startled. “You knew I was down here.”

“Again, dear, the spirits tell me everything. That and you aren’t exactly light on your feet.” Cedric blushed a bit before ducking down by the kitchen table. “Did you sleep well?”

“Fantastic, actually,” he smirked a bit, “was something in the tea?”

“Just a bit of lavender and a healing blend. Nothing bad.” He nodded, impressed and amused. “Breakfast.” She set the plate down in front of him.

“Thank you so much.” He immediately began taking forkfuls of food. “Are you going to eat.”

“Cedric I rise with the sun. I ate breakfast hours ago.” She smiled softly, taking the remaining seat at the table.

“Oh.” He blushed once again. “So these spirits,” he began after a moment, “can you… see them.”

“Well,” she stifled a giggle, “not in the traditional sense, no. I can’t see them as one would expect, but I have sense of them. I have a much deeper connection that transcends sight or even communication. It is as if we are one.”

“Huh,” Cedric chewed as he tried to process. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced, and he wasn’t yet convinced that this wasn’t some fever dream while he was in a coma at St. Mungos.

“How are you feeling today?” Li interrupted his thoughts.

“Fine I guess.” He pondered for a moment. “I mean, you did heal everything. I think I’m still having a bit of trouble processing what happened.”

“Me too,” she confessed. “I arrived at the end of the ordeal, and naturally I couldn’t see anything.

Cedric nodded, contemplating. “How much do you know about the wizarding world right now, Li?”

“More than you would think.”

“Then I have some things to share with you.”

“Very well,” she stood from the table. “Finish getting yourself ready. I will show you my forest.”

***

Cedric found Li outside in her front garden later that morning. 

“There you are!” She exclaimed. It was the most emotion Cedric had heard from her. “Come on. I can’t wait to show you my home.”

They walked a while in silence, weaving through pathways and bushes. At one point, Li tripped over a root. Cedric happened to swoop an arm around her just in time.

“That, um, wasn’t there yesterday.”

“It’s alright,” Cedric chuckled, still holding on. He realized his error and quickly let go, stiffly clearing his throat. 

Li froze for a moment, a soft blush spreading across her lightly freckled cheeks. She brushed her stray black hair out of her face and continued walking. “So what was it that you needed to tell me?” She broke the awkward silence and palpable tension. 

“Right.” He stiffened, suddenly remembering he had a purpose. “What do you know of the dark lord.”

She froze immediately, sharply turning on his heel. “Say no more Cedric,” her voice rose slightly. “His presence shall not be invoked. I know enough and that is perfectly fine with me.”

He took a deep breath in, unsure of how to proceed. “He’s back.”

A single tear fell from Li’s eye as her face twisted into a sour grimace. “I knew this day would come,” she whispered. 

“My apologies, but… what?”

“Back to the cottage,” she hastily looked around, “now.”

“Care to explain?” Cedric was bewildered as Li locked the door and forced him into a chair.

“Cedric, the dark lord is responsible for the death or my parents and sister.”

Cedric's eyes widened, mouth forming a small circle. “I’m so sorry, Li… I-”

“It’s fine, Save your apologies. That was nearly sixteen years ago. I know enough that I know that with the dark lord back we are all in danger.”

Cedric’s lips pressed into a thin line. He knew. “What do we do?”

“Hide.”

***

The pair hid for about three weeks. Seemingly waiting for the day when Voldemort himself would show up at the cottage door to kill them both. They grew closer in this time. Li began to trust the strange outside energy that came into his life, and Cedric finally felt true warmth from the spunk and prim girl that had saved his life. Deeper feelings lie within them both, and they were beginning to bloom.

They were seated closely on the couch one afternoon when Cedric decided to bring up the topic that neither of them had brought up in nearly ten days. “Have you heard anything?”

“No.” Li responded coldly, gaze still fixed on the wooden wall. “Well…”

Cedric stiffened. “Well what, Li?”

“He’s coming for Hogwarts.”

Cedric shot up. “And you didn’t think to tell me!? I need to go help!”

Li turned to face him, a tear falling from her eye. “I know,” she whispered, almost inaudibly, “but I didn’t want you to leave.”

His face immediately softened. “Li…” He struggled a moment with what to say. “You know I have to go.” He was in so much pain having to say it. He had never seen Li cry, and he hated every second of it. “It’s okay…” He got back onto the couch, holding her shaking body in his arms. 

They stayed like that for a while, Li trying to choke back her tears and Cedric nearly crying along with her. Truth be told, Cedric didn’t want to leave either. “Come with me,” he whispered, partially hoping that maybe she wouldn’t hear him.

“What?” She choked out between sobs. 

“Come with me. Back to Hogwarts.”

“Cedric you know I can’t do that.”

“And why not?”

“I-” She hesitated.

“Exactly. You may not have traditional magic, but you’re so powerful. You could help so much… and I’d love to have you at my side.”

“I’m blind Cedric. How much of an asset could I really be?”

“A lot. Need I remind you of your spirits.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line, knowing he was correct. “This is a massive risk.”

“I know. And I wouldn’t have even said it if I didn’t trust you with my entire heart. He placed a small kiss on her forehead. “Take some time. We can go in the morning if you’re ready.”

“Thank you.”

***

Part 2

#cedric diggory #cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory fluff #cedric diggory x oc #blind reader #cedric diggory x blind!reader #spiritual #eternal love

[vcg73]

Glee Memories

Someone reblogged an old post to which I had contributed this run-down of my entire Glee fan experience. It made me laugh to read it, because I cannot deny ANY of the reactions even now. This is truly what it was like to watch the show in original air date Fox TV real time - endless mid-season hiatuses and all. Reposting just my own section:

Season 1 - SO good and fun! I want to see more of this!  Kurt, I love you. You’re so funny and I especially loved the second half of the season when you started singing solos and being a Cheerio!  Even the characters I didn’t really embrace I still want to learn more about. And the songs, and the hope for next year’s competitions…  Damn you, summer hiatus!

Season 2 - OMG, not as fresh as last year but still some amazing stuff!  Burt and Carole are cute together, though a little oblivious. Why didn’t we ever get any blended Hudmel family scenes?  Especially at Christmas.  *pout* Didn’t care for Kurt being basically sidelined at Dalton Academy for half the season, and his crush is kind of an oblivious jerk, but I have hope. Things much better by the end with Kurt back at McK and no joy to the bullies. Can’t quite make up my mind if I want to forgive Karofsky. He was awful, but also terrified. I’ll make up my mind next year. Aw, Jean Sylvester has died, I liked her.  Finn, a funeral should not inspire you to dump one girl and chase another. You big drip. Too bad about Nationals, but it’s okay that they didn’t go straight to the top. More reason to put out all the stops next year!  I liked this season a lot overall. Damn you, summer hiatus!

Season 3 - What the fuck has happened to this show? Blaine transfers in, acts like a dick, steals opportunities and insults people, but by the end every single character is completely up his ass. Wha-?  Wait, are Finchel a couple again for the 4,869th time, or are they broken up again?  I can’t keep up.  Am I really supposed to care about the suddenly evil Warblers and their smirking meerkat boss? Cause I don’t.  Warbler Council I miss you.  Shue, you’re horrible, get off my screen. Sue, go with him, you’re not funny anymore. Kurt ends up stuck in Lima with no prospects, while Rachel of the world’s worst audition gets his spot at the fancy performing arts school? What the hell!  And what do you mean, he only applied to ONE school, that makes no sense given his historic ambition to escape Lima, and determination to help Finn get out too. Someone at NYADA is a lazy bastard who couldn’t be bothered to send out the acceptance letters until JUNE, so most of their prospectives have probably accepted other offers by now.  This entire season made no sense and left a bad taste in my mouth. Thank God for summer hiatus!

Season 4 - Better in some respects. Really stupid in others. Kurt does an amazing audition and gets a second chance (that he should have had the first time) to get into his school.  I’ll take it.  Blaine, you’re a lying, cheating, selfish sack of shit and I’ve given up hoping you’ll ever improve. Just go away and stop horning in where you don’t belong. Adam Crawford, you’re a cinnamon roll too good for this world, but no way too good for Kurt. :)  I’m not usually a shipper, but you’re forcing me to ship hard.  New Glee Club, your boring clone selves need to step it up and show some originality if you want anyone to like you. Uh, wow, did that nasty Cheerio girl really try to kill the other girl by making her anorexic and totally get away with that with no consequences? Epic fail. Shue, you’re revolting. Oh, Unique. I like you, but why did you leave a star position at Carmel only to be meek about being shoved into the background at McKinley?  Really thought Blaine might get offed in that stink-bomb of a school shooting episode. It would have had emotional resonance for others and retired that character with a shred of dignity. Wasn’t that the point of having people declare Blaine teen angel/Jesus-standin for half the season? But no. Nothing happens and they chuck Becky-used to be cool but now is just super annoying-Jackson under the bus instead. (Also, why did nobody on the New York side even seem to know this headline-making event even happened?) Rachel, taking insensitivity and selfishness to new heights in New York. Why is Kurt suddenly your care-taker and general servant? Blech. Sarah Jessica Parker, completely wasted from great starting potential. Did Sam’s brain fall out in the deep end of the swimming pool and float away? Cause, whoa. Finn? Finn! Pay attention, dude. Cut your losses and go to your classes at Ohio state (or wherever). Burt, thank you for squashing that stupid proposal idea. But where is Adam?  Come back, adorable little cupcake!  Summer hiatus, thank you, I need a break but kinda like where everyone finally ended at the last of this year. This has definite potential.

Season 5 - Dead Finn = sadness. I kind of wish they had just retired him to off screen college somewhere. Wait, what?  God Damn It Writers! You can’t just transplant Finchel’s planned storyline to a totally different couple and expect it to make perfect sense, especially with no work or real character improvement to the horrible hair-gelled menace!  Copy glee club remains boring, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about their wash-rinse-repeat romances or lifeless competition performances. What the heck has happened to the timeline of this show?  Where did Adam go? Oh hey, it’s Demi Lovato and Adam Lambert!  Aww, I really like Elliott. It’s about time Kurt got a genuine friend. Rachel, just go away. I can’t deal with you anymore. Burt has been replaced by a pod-person. Creepy puppets more lifelike than most of their human counterparts by now. One Three Hill, I love you!  But I can already see that this is another great start with soon to be wasted potential when the contracts run out.  Damn it, writers! Don’t put Blaine in NYADA, that makes no sense at all.  If this school was as particular as you claimed, he wouldn’t have even made it to the audition round. Combat Jocks are all hot for Kurt, YESSSS!  Santana, I’ve never liked you because you’re horrid to everyone but you’re finally starting to grow on me a little. Aw, Chris Colfer’s episode plays like old time Glee!  Fun. More, please. Shirley MacLaine gives me the creeps as the old cougar lady. And we’re taking an early hiatus after shedding viewers like snake-skin all season. Can’t say I’m not relieved. I’m determined to see this show through, but my god…  

Season 6 - Only a dozen episodes this year? I can make it.  Ooo, Kurt dumped the albatross and sent him packing. That’s promising.  Rachel’s ego blew up in her face and she’s back in Ohio. Even more promising.  New New Directions, I surprisingly actually like you guys a little, though I liked One Three Hill much better. (And the Apples, whatever happened to those folks?) This could actually end with a bang instead of a whimper!  Aaand, I spoke too soon. Kurt get your cute butt out of Ohio, you can do so much better in New York, preferably single and dating new appreciative men!  Whoa, Sue is full on demented and dangerous this year. Why is she still in a teaching position again? Shue, you’re useless. Get off my screen. Santana previous potential goes right to hell in one fell swoop. Nice briefly knowing you, emotional development. Kurt, I’m serious, go back to NYADA and find whatever locker you left your spine in please. DO NOT take that asshat back for the 8,937th time, please!  He’s not worth it.  You … what …?  Oh my God, he did it, and fucking Dave Karofsky actually helped them along.  *beats head on wall*  No, please tell me everyone isn’t about to bend over backwards to put Rachel back on top of the heap again!  *sigh* That’s it. I’m done. 7 episodes left of this series and I just can’t take it anymore.  The writers-room monkeys have mixed pieces from 10 different puzzles, mashed them into a frame with a mallet, eaten the finished product, shit it into their hands, and tossed it at the few remaining fans still watching through the bars.

And that’s what you (lucky souls) missed on Glee!

#lol glee #but no I still haven't seen those last 7 episodes tho I've seen a few random clips #the hindenburg of television programs #glee scarred me #pissing away that much potential that badly just had to be deliberate but I still don't understand why

[herakosmos]

matchup exchange w/ @sobawithshoto! 𐐪𐑂

im so sorry this took longer than expected :(( but ty for doing this exchange with me though!! 🥺

she’s honestly so sweet and talented🥺pls check out her amazing blog! <33

if you want to do a matchup exchange with me pls dm me! <3

i match you up with . . .

tadashi yamaguchi!! 𐐪𐑂

✰ you guys were definitely childhood friends before anything. this shy kid took a while to confess, but you guys were the type of friends where EVERYONE knew were gonna end up together somehow😭😭

✰ i feel like tsukki said something to him to make him confess to you because poor guy needs someone to help him figure out why his heart beats so fast whenever you make eye contact with him or why he feels the need to always want to know what you’re doing🥺

✰ tsukki honestly had to help him do everything with the planning, flowers etc because yamaguchi didn’t want to do it alone

“would you please be my girlfriend..?”

✰ when you said yes omg the boy had a smile plastered onto his face for the rest of the day lmao

✰ you guys definitely are magnetic towards each other. I wouldn’t say obsessively clingy, but the affection in this relationship is so adorable!

✰ since either one you guys had never experienced actually being in a relationship, everything is a first timer for both of ya’ll (AWHHH)

✰ i could just imagine yamaguchi looking up how to kiss someone and when the tutorial says to practice on his hand, he’ll be so into it he wouldn’t even notice you at the door 

“yams..?”

✰ HE THREW HIS WHOLE PHONE AT THE WALL I KID YOU NOT HAHSJDJDJ

✰ imagine explaining to the people who has to fix his broken screen about how and why he broke it omg😭

✰ to add, he actually looks up A LOT of things especially how-to’s because he just wants to be the best boyfriend ever :((

✰ he tried learning “twinkle twinkle little star” for you on the piano and although he made a few mistakes here and there its the THOUGHT that counts 

✰ he also learned how to use those rollers for your bangs, so that he could help you put it in when you want to do your hair🥺

✰ the fact that you’re such a good conversationalist is super beneficial towards yamaguchi since he always needs someone to support him. of course he’ll do the same for you and honestly feel like the happiest man alive when you come to him for help, but there are those times when you just don’t and he’ll respect that :(( 

✰ sometimes these convos could go on until midnight and afterwards you two would feel so much better afterwards. like the feeling of lifting the burden off your shoulders

✰ when wanting some advice he 100% only goes to you because you’re so honest and cut throat with it. even though sometimes it could be harsh, he knows it’s only because you want the best for him

✰ whenever you guys hang out with tsukishima aka salt shaker, he always finds a way to tease ya’ll and yams gotta depend on you to make a witty comeback and of course you always shut him down because you ain’t backing down until he does

✰ (queen energy✨💅)

“that’s my girl🥺🥰”

“simp”

✰ honestly you bouta beat tsukki up at this point😭

✰ lets PLEASE talk about how this man gives the absolute best cuddles!! he actually wants to be the smaller spoon, but of course would be the bigger spoon if you wanted him to be

✰ in this relationship, i think the physical affection is gonna pretty awkward at first since both of ya’ll are inexperienced, but overtime you guys would get the hang of it!!

✰ spending time with each other is a MUST

✰ you guys have a scheduled date every week and it could range from staying at home or going out! he really doesn’t mind, so whatever you want to do, he would do it as long as it’s with you🥰

✰ morning jogs is one particular date you guys do on occasions and a little break stop at a nearby park

✰ (ok but yams with sweatpants🌚)

✰ BACK TO THE MATCHUPSBNDJF

✰ a shared airpod bud in each of your guy’s ear blasting a shared playlist which includes both of your guy’s favorite songs 

✰ his hand never leaves yours while strolling around the park

✰ when finally reaching home, you guys would just binge watch anime and eat all of the spicy foods you want on the couch until your eyes grew heavy and felt tired

“babyyyy carry me to the bed”

✰ whenever you felt sleepy that’s when your clingy side starts to really show and boy did he LOVE that sdbsldkjhsbadlkj

✰ the way you cling onto him while he bridle styled or piggybacks you back to your room makes his heart pound rapidly🥺 he’ll gently place you onto the bed while placing a light peck on your forehead

✰ pet names made him turn so red, but the more he used them, his usuals were “baby” “honey” “munchkin” and sometimes when he’s feeling super bold “baby girl” ;)

✰ yamaguchi absolutely adores your height. instead of teasing you about it he admires the height differences and says how cute it is. whenever you can’t reach something he’s always there right in back of you grabbing it for you, then looks at you with his loving eyes :(((

✰ there’s a bunch of stuff you guys have a lot in common and honestly helps you guys lift each other up

✰ for example, you having a fear of failure and always beating yourself up for it, yams totally understands this since he’s been there for his first attempt at the jump float serve. plus you being insecure about yourself, he can relate due to the fact he was bullied as a kid having freckles/acne on his face :((

✰ lastly, the stage fright and having all of the attention on yourself AGAIN yamaguchi can relate too due to the fact he literally froze on court in the middle of a match :((

✰ all of these connections really help you too relate to A LOT of things and help each other build one another up for it (if that makes sense)

✰ you being a capricorn and him being a scorpio = a great match!

✰ this is a very harmonious blend of water and earth. both signs seek comfort, security and consistency. “this is the kind of relationship that can even begin in primary school or college, then last throughout adulthood” UHHH COINCIDENCE???!

bonus!

heres an anime relationship type gif that i just think you two would do 🥺

#haikyuu!! #anime matchup #haikyuu matchups #anime matchups #cute #matchup exchange #matchup exchanges #yamaguchi tadashi #haikyuu yamaguchi #haikyuu matchup #yamaguchi matchup

[schnuuwrites]

Everything's gonna be alright

Request:i ADORE your sylvain writing omg. would it be too much to ask for sylvain angst with his SO getting hurt in battle for him?

Summary: Sylvain's S/O dies on the battlefield

Tw: hm, angst, ofc. Maybe a bit gory and detailed

Laughter filled the hall and bounced off the walls, blending in with the mindless chatter around you. The redhead infront of you smiled dashingly and took hold of your hand, which was placed on the table, and entwined your fingers. His hand was so much bigger than yours was, his calloused fingers being a nice contrast to your soft skin. He was so warm.

You smiled with a warm face, gazing at him lovingly. Goddess, how you loved these moments of happiness. How you loved him.

Sylvain talked about something enthusiastically, letting his eyes drift to your lips occasionally, and squeezed your hand gently to focus your attention back on the conversation you had held.

"Pardon me?" Sylvain chuckled and shook his head, red locks falling in his eyes. You bit your lip lightly and grinned. With a swift motion you reached over the table to tucked away his soft hair. He watched you with amusement and let you do as you wished, not minding you were in public right now. After all, you two were caught doing much more inappropriate things by teachers, guards and classmates alike.

Brown eyes gazed into your own ones affectionally when you pulled away and let your fingers brush along his jaw line softly. Just a fleeting touch, but it was enough. Sylvain grasped your hand into his before you could sit back down and brought your small hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it. Butterlies erupted in your stomach and your heart fluttered at the sweet gesture.

You freed your hand and positioned it on the table to support your weight when you reached over to pull at Sylvains shirt. He let you do as you pleased and invited you by tangling his hand in your hair and pulling you down. Your lips met in a sweet and swift embrace before seperating again. Neither of you wanted to end it here, but you also didn't want to attract more attention to you two than you already did.

Over time you got used to the judging stares by teachers and jealous stares by Sylvain's fangirls. But never once did he ignore you to give another female more attention when he was with you. He had always been faithful. And you were convinced he would be for the rest of his lifetime. The lifetime, which would be spent with you by his side.

Hushed whispers pulled you from your trance. Heavy steps could be heard coming from behind you. You turned around and saw the man from Duscur coming towards your direction. He looked a bit tense.

"Hello, Dedue. How can we help, my friend?" Sylvain greeted and you nodded in aggreement. The white haired man gave a nod as a greeting of his own.

"I am here to inform you both Byleth has decided to chase off a few bandits, that have been reported to have caused much trouble, thus resulting in the need of our aid. Please, get ready as soon as possible. We will be on our way in one hour."

As much as you wished you could spend your last hours of the day fooling around with Sylvain and enjoying your time together, the people of Fodlan neaded you.

The air outside was chilly, but nothing you couldn't handle. After all, the days in Fearghus were almost always chilly and cold. In front of you layed a big, eery forest, sorrounded with a thick layer of fog. You gnawed at your lip nervously. It was impossible to estimate how many enemies where hiding in there. But Byleth surely had to know the risk of sending you in there, with you being a mage. Of course, your magic and resistance were high, but your physical defense was incredible weak compared to Dedue or Dimitri.

The leaves of the trees rustled ominously, telling you to step in and meet your possible death. You didn't like this at all. A cold iron fist clenched your heart and your mind screamed at you: DANGER.

A hand on your shoulder made you jump and yelp. You turned around, ready to attack the person behind you, but relaxed when you saw Sylvain. Behind him was his horse, which neighed and nuzzled your face. You smiled and patted it's head.

Sylvain grasped your chin gently and lifted your head, planting a loving and strong kiss onto your mouth before switching to your forhead. The second kiss was much more gentle, but both made you smile. If he tried to reassure you everything would be alright, he definetely succeded.

"Everything's gonna be alright. You and I are a team. We can do it. I will protect you from those bad guys." He teased. You grinned and kissed his cheek. "And I will rescue you from those big bad mages, my little damsel in distress." A second kiss on his nose made him laugh softly. "Whatever you say, little mage."

You were glad that you weren't alone in the forest. You trusted Byleth as your tactician with your whole heart. Annette was assigned to you and Sylvain as well, supporting you both with her reason and faith magic- that girl possesed immense skill- which made you feel slightly better.

In the distance, you were able to hear war cries and clashing of swords and axes. Somewhere on your right side fire cackled, indicating one of your friends used it to attack someone, but on your side of the forest it was quiet. Too quiet for your liking in fact. The fog however was too heavy to see anything beyond a few feet and that made you uneasy. An enemy could be behind the next trunk for all you could know.

Cautiously you three advanced forward, while looking around a few times and checking either of you were unharmed, but your eyes lingered on Sylvain the most. You were incredible worried about him, even though you knew he could stand his own ground. You have seen him train so many times, working his muscles and letting his beautiful brain figure out ways to tiptoe around dying and losing. He was incredible. And what were you compared to that? You were a healer, of course, and saved some of your friends from the brink of death. You also were able to take out armored knights your friends had trouble even scratching. But despite that? You felt like a burden. You were never allowed to act alone. Someone was always assigned to your side to protect you from bows and swords, axes and gauntlets. This time it wasn't any different. Sylvain was tasked with protecting you from physical damage while you and Annette had to watch out for mages.

A crie of pain infront of you made you all jump and take fighting stances. A groan was heard again. You narrowed your eyes and tried to figure out who was groaning and moaning. You were sure you had heard that voice before. Your eyes widened in horror. It wa- "INGRID" Sylvain yelled. A gasp was heard from her and her voice echoed from everywhere when she responded: "Snipers! Everywhere!"

Your heart dropped into your stomach. Ingrid was seated on her pegasus if you recalled correctly. And her being sorrounded by bows could only mean- "Wait there! I am coming!" You tried to stop Sylvain from rushing to his childhoodfriend's aid, trying to tell him it might be a trap, but you weren't fast enough. He was gone before you could even utter a single word.

"We need to help them!" You shouted over your shoulder and trailed after Sylvain. "(Name), WAI-" But Annette couldn't finish her sentence. Out of nowhere, a swordman appeared, his eyes widening and his face twisting into a disgusting snarl, and he creeped toward you both. Your heart picked up and you broke out into a cold sweat.

This was bad. Very bad.

"Stay back!" You ordered and raised your hand as a warning. Flames sparked around your head, telling your enemy to step back, but he didn't seem to mind. Instead he- "DOWN" Annette screeched and you did as you were told. Hastily you jumped out of the way, letting your friend attack him and killing him.

The burnt body collapsed, poisening the air with it's faul smell. You tried not to gag.

Thankful you turned your body to face your readheaded friend and thanked her for saving you. She smiled proudly.

"It's ok. No need to than-"

You were confused why she stopped her sentence so suddenly. You opened your mouth to ask, but a piercing pain in your abdomen made you scream in agony. Your whole body felt like it was burned alive, every nerve tingling and adrenaline shooting through your body. You looked down and stared at the foreign piece of metal, which poked out of your stomach. Shaking hands tried to touch it, but you screamed when the blade was twisted, before it was pulled out forcefully.

You dropped to your knees, toppling over and holding your stomach with your arms. Hot blood poured out of your wound. You gasped for air and dared to look at the wound. Your clothes were stained with your black blood, your arms full of it as well. Wait- black?

Oh no.

Poison.

Frantically you tried to scramble away. Get way from the enemy, from the danger. Once more you pressed your arms against your wound.

You didn't know how you got away with a hole in your abdomen, but you managed to put quite a distance between you and your attacker.

Even the noise of the fight faded rapidly. You felt lightheaded. Blood loss? Probably. There. A tree. Safety. For a bit. You pulled yourself up and rested your back against it. Your breaths came in short and hastily. Somehow you had trouble breathing. You practically felt the blood leaving your body and it felt disgusting. You squirmed and pressed harder against the wound, the bark scraped against your back, but you didn't care. It had gotten quite dark, hadn't it? Everything was much more darker than before. Where you deeper in the forest? Only a restricted cough came out when you tried to wheeze for help, to get help. To survive. You didn't want to die on the battlefield. You didn't want to leave your friends yet, didnt want to leave Sylvain.

Sylvain. Where was he? Did he forget about you? Why hasn't he come yet?

"Everything's gonna be alright." Yes, he was right. He was always right. He had to be. He would come to help you. Kill that bastard and let him burn in hell. He would scoop you up, kiss you, whisper in your ear everything was gonna be alright. He would tell you he loved you forever. You would be happy. He would keep you save.

You... you were just going to wait here. Sylvain would find you, just like he always had. Just like he always had. Yes, you would just... be resting a bit until he came back.

It was getting harder to keep your eyes open, a sudden tiredness overcame you, that grasped you with it's long, dark, inviting arms and pulled you into the numbing nothingness. You sighed.

Everyone was frantic. Annette had tears streaming down her cheeks, Felix an irritaded scowl on his face, Mercedes yelled your name over and over again, Ingrid bit her nail nervously, Dedue, glued to Dimitri's side, looked around and watched over everyone, Dimitri talked with Byleth for ideas where you could be. Ashe tried to calm Annette down, to no avail, and Sylvain... Sylvain was running around. Screaming for you. His hands were clammy and tears blurred his vision. Annette had informed everyone of what happened.

It was HIS fault, he told himself. He shouldn't have run off like that. You could be right by his side right now, happily smiling at him, holding his hand...

His heart broke. The blood in his veins froze and it felt like a lightnening bolt went up his spine.

He'd found you. He'd found YOU.

You were hunched over and rested against a tree, a pool of blood sorrounded you. Your hand rested beside you.

He didn't even feel himself running towards your body. His everything was numb. The voices of his friends vanished and were nothing more than a dull sound in the back of his head.

Sylvain dropped to his knees infront of your dead body, grasping your body and pulling it against his chest. His chest vibrated and his throat burned, but he didn't hear himself screaming in agony. With a shaking hand he turned your head around and looked at your peaceful face. You were unmoving and cold. So cold. Tears of his gathered on your cheeks, running down. It looked like you were crying as well.

He buried his face in your hair, tucking your head safely under his chin. Safely. Yes. You were safe. You were alright. He was with you now, you didn't need to be afraid. He would protect you.

Hands of his friends tried to pry him away from you corpse, but he resisted with all his might. He screamed, cursed, tears and snot ran down his face and he didn't care. He wanted to be with you. He needed to. He promised.

Only when he was pressed to the ground did he realise he had kicked around and probably hurt one of his friends. His face was in your blood. The blood you had lost. The blood you died of. The blood that should be in your body.

That was the last straw and his stomach emptied itself. He puked on the ground wheezing for air when he was finished and nothing but stomach acid came out. He felt dead inside.

Byleth said something about burrying you in the monastery, but he didn't listen. He looked down at himself, at his clothes that were soaked with your blood and he didn't want nothing more but to rip off his clothes and burn them.

He had lost you

Oh dear. That was a ride. I cried myself a bit along the way. I hope you liked it! The request asked for getting hurt and not for death, but yea. Oopsies

#fire emblem three houses #fe3h #fire emblem #fe3h x reader #fire emblem x reader #sylvain gautier #sylvain jose gautier #fe sylvain #sylvain x reader #fe sylvain x reader #angst