#...most trans people are trying to live a life that makes them most comfortable...

[shaylogic]

Queer Experience Watching Barbie - AFAB Masculinity

I started to go into this in tags on another post but I wanted to type this up separately and try to develop my thoughts a little more. . .

Ryan!Ken’s arc in Barbie (2023) has been buzzing in my head for days.

I got fixated on it for a couple of major reasons:

1) We rarely have seen a feminist movie take time to address men with compassion in how patriarchy harms them too.

2) As a trans masc person, I think it hits a specific part of my identity that I don’t consciously let myself think about for too long. Something about being raised in a female world with sisterhood and community. Then being isolated in adult manhood without the tools to prepare you for that. Conscientious of respecting women and being unbothered by feminimity around you, but not knowing your place in the world.

How do I put it?

I know it’s not the direct intention of the film itself, but I’ve seen other trans folks (especially transmasc), reacting similarly to the feeling we get from it.

Ken’s arc feels pretty reminicent of the struggle afab lgbt folks go through when considering masculinity in their identity (butch lesbians, afab nbs, trans men, etc.)

How to make peace with masculine aspects of yourself without losing the women in your life? (One can argue Kate McKinnon’s Weird Barbie has aspects of this as well.)

Of course, then Ken goes off on the adopting patriarchy ride, which IS the point of the movie, and may skew a bit from the transmasc read on it--though I have known a trans guy here and there who avoids being misgendered so hard that they can become somewhat sexist. To which I say: “You don’t need to have a dick to be a man, and you don’t need to BE a dick to be a man.” But I digress.

Something about Ken being comfortable in a woman’s world but not understanding why he’s being shut out from socially bonding with them (in any sense! Romantic, Familial, Platonic Friendship. . .)

The overall theme of the movie for both Barbie and Ken--in an allegory of heavy gender roles harming all--leading them each to have to figure out who they are in themselves, regardless of others. . . 

Trans masc folx can relate to both Barbie and Ken’s arcs.

I don’t want to detract from Barbie’s arc being the main point of the movie.

I think the reason why we get hung up on Ryan!Ken’s character is because. . . we’ve related to the Barbie plot in other movies and shows before, thinking back to our “girlhoods” as children.

I have never seen the arc Ken has in this in any other story!!!!

There are some Man Movies that have attempted to discuss the struggle of Being a Man--but they often come off as too dismissive of feminine experiences, and are therefore as offputting to transmasc people as women.

Because of the nature of the two worlds exhibited in this movie, and Ken’s backround in his setting, personality, and purpose in relation to the Barbies, he’s a Man living with Female Socialization, in a Woman’s World; he’s a male character that inherently admires and respects women in his nature (until the real world influence distorts it).

This isn’t a perfect example of a transmasc experience either, but it’s a lot closer than most of us generally get to see! That’s why so many of us are getting caught up in this.

Please, other trans folx (transfems, too!), I really need us to have a discussion about this. What were your experiences and thoughts around this movie?

P.S. Yeah, we kinda get that nonbinary allegory from Allan (not a Ken, not a Barbie, siding with Feminism in the Gender War), but he wasn’t in significant focus of the plot the way Ryan!Ken was. If I try to read into Allan, I don’t have much to work with.

#barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #ryan gosling ken #ken #queer #ftm #afab #transmasc #transgender #trans man #agender #nonbinary #enby #nb #gender #gender roles #text post #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gender studies

[syoddeye]

reading recs

received an anon the other day that requested fic recs of all ratings, here's a big list of some of my favorites! definitely not exhaustive, definitely forgot people, and i am so sorry in advance for that. please mind the tags on these fics.

SNAFU by @adnauseum11

I've posted about SNAFU before. This is one of my comfort series. Excellent characterization of a retired John Price, navigating a relationship with one of his oldest friends.

Heavy Weighs the Crown by @sentientcave

Newer series, very yummy so far. I love Charlie's characterization of the 141 in this universe, and their writing is delectable.

Rugby AU by @sentientcave

Another banger from Charlie. Reader Ripper is also yummy. Something to snack on. To quote: "I don't know anything about Rugby tbh this is just vibes and thots. Something somethin elaborate rituals."

Nobody by @391780

My gateway fic into Nikto. Without giving anything away, every chapter sends me into a short spiral. The most recent chapters have done heinous (affectionate) things to my brain.

Ursa Major by @the-californicationist

Have you ever been to Alaska? Ever wanted to visit? Honestly, read this fic and let Cali transport you there. Her ability to set the scene and bring it to life is un-fucking-matched. Doc (Reader) is a smart, confident reader-insert that feels like a real person.

Binders and Boyfriends by @pfhwrittes

Trans 141 and Trans Reader supremacy. Another comfort series from the wonderful Parker. Everything listed here is wonderful, but I have a major soft spot for P's Gaz-centric works.

Housemate!Gaz by @pfhwrittes

First, in this house, we hate Reader's roommate. Second, we are Widget fans. Third, could you fucking imagine opening the door and your new roommate was Kyle motherfucking Garrick? I'd faint.

Call of The Jurassic by @stuffireadandenjoy

Another newer series that put me on the edge of my seat. When I first saw that Tats was giving us my favorite fellas and putting them in Jurassic Park, ooooooh, I knew we were going to be spoiled rotten.

Wrong Number Right Day by @stuffireadandenjoy

"Kyle gets a wrong number text but decides to be a little generous that day." Reader's living the dream. Text Kyle Garrick and get cash money for rent? Very excited for more of this.

Price of Pegging by @gemmahale

Pegging and John Price. I could stop there, but I won't. Gemma nails the depiction of a submissive Captain Price. She also captures the dynamic of a couple trying something new extremely well, that gave me some fluffy feelings.

All of Gemma’s WIPs by @gemmahale

I've had the absolute privilege to read some previews of Gemma's work and the WORK and the DETAIL and the CHARACTERS are chef's kiss. Delicious. It's so difficult to pick just one. I love the Feywilds. Useful Girl. Call of the Wild. Do yourself a favor and spend some time in the tags.

Offer Me His Hunger by @kaadaaan

Something about a 141-er and a single mom that's gonna do it for me every time. In Offer Me His Hunger, it's Johnny, and Reader has no idea what she's in for. Jesus Christ, Kadan writes one of my favorite Johnnys, and really nails that obsessive and calculating streak.

The Space in Between by @391780

You will laugh, you will cry, you will love and hate mafia boss!John Price. Reader crosses paths with John and the 141, and gets caught in their wake. Early writes some of the best Reader characters of all time, and this one's no different. This story will get under your skin so fast, in the best way.

The Arrangement by @391780

Speaking of Early, this is THE gateway drug to her work, in my humble opinion. One of the first COD fics I ever read and converted me into being a Price girlie. Sugar Daddy Price x a cute, smart, and fucking funny Reader. Also one of my favorite characterizations of Simon of all time.

Club 141 by @greatstormcat

BDSM and the 141 make a Sy very happy. Reader starts off with a fake ass dom and is quickly properly introduced to BDSM culture with the fellas. Really solid group dynamics. Make sure you read that Price x Ghost post for a good fucking time.

Lamb to the Slaughter by @ohbo-ohno

Probably one of my favorite Ghoap fics of all time. The way my jaw was on the floor for the majority of this should've sent me to the emergency room. It's brutal, it's horrifying, and fuck me running, I loved it, start to finish.

The Pit by @peachesofteal

First, the nightmare of getting into an accident in the winter. Second, having Ghost and Soap find you. Oh boy, The Pit is peak Ghoap manipulation. When I got to the end, I just sat in silence. Stunned. It was amazing.

Eyes Wide, Tongue Tied by tippytulip (if you're on here, pls lmk!)

Another early COD fic for me. A thrill ride with a whip-smart Reader AND it's set in the Midwest. Those are two ways into my heart. The relationship between Reader and Price isn't an easy one, and he gives her a dozen and a half reasons to dislike him. Another ride of a fic, with great action scenes and group dynamics.

Trapper, Keeper by @tinypandacakes

A König fic that makes me screech no less than ten times per chapter. Panda writes a fucking scary König and it blows my mind. So much of it is subtle and manipulative, with few outright (so far, it's ongoing!) examples. I get a knot in my stomach every time I read and I LOVE IT.

DOG by Danceofthesevenveils

Another König fic that features a pathetic loser König, who is also one of the scariest motherfuckers I've ever read. The use of text messages underscores the creepy vibes, and a great vehicle for the Reader x König dynamic early on.

Desire Paths by @ceilidho

Manipulative best friend Johnny, you are iconic to me. Ceilidh writes some of the best nasty Johnny fic out there, but Desire Paths has my heart. Another ending that had me gasping.

Take Me Home, Country Road by @ceilidho

Cowboy Price, take me awayyyyyy. A fantastic Western AU focused on a Reader with a secret and a Sheriff Price that'll make you sit up straighter. Ceilidh captures John's voice so clearly, I can hear it when I read. That porch scene is seared into my brain in the best way.

Tender is the Flesh by @crashtestbunny

Do you like scary Simon? Do you like feeling unsettling and turned on? *slams table* Do I have the fic for you! Connie's butcher!Simon makes my blood run both hot and cold. "Oh she’s a stunner." lives in my head rent free. Also the apron tie bit.

Pornstar!AU by @shotmrmiller

Warning, if you don't smoke, you might start after reading Toni's porn AU. I love this depiction of Ghost, his control and his care. AND there's a threesome bit with Ghost x Reader x Price. It's what dreams are made of.

#sy fic recs #fic recs #once again i will say the COD fandom is SPOILED FOR CHOICE #so much talent

[punkitt-is-here]

anon bc i hate putting my name on things that aren't my music.

you're swell and awesome and you've made me infinitely more comfortable to simply exist as a trans woman without trying to fit myself into a box to make myself more palatable. without going into too much detail i've lived in pretty hostile places most of my life even before figuring out i was trans and as such i came into the culture with a lot of hatred i needed to work through. seeing you live your best life without consideration of what other people might judge you for was genuinely shocking to see but for whatever reason i decided to stick around and it's changed me for the better. i'm now confident enough to seriously come out to my parents (they've been supportive but i haven't told them anything besides i was questioning) as well as start introducing myself as a woman to people. i appreciate you for existing, and hopefully one day i can feel confident enough in myself to send something like this with my name on it. keep on keeping on, from anon.

good lord I'm gonna weep, this is completely beautiful thank you so much. when I started transitioning I was so worried I wouldn't fit into any of the proper boxes required to be a "real" girl, but I found out that I just wanted to be comfortable above all else and made that my goal...finding out that my way of living is helping other people out is seriously moving, tysm ;w;

#my posts #asks #anon #:)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 so I can find later

aita for attending to pride despite not being queer. at all

( opened a tumblr acc just for this bc I don’t trust reddit bros on this one, so do tell me if I did smth? wrong somehow)

I(19m) as u can understand from the title, not queer in any way(gender, sexuality etc). But I regularly get harassed with trans/homophobia and the cause is…Me looking feminine

This sounds stupid but it’s true, despite having my hair short & dressing pretty masc I am often confused as a girl, everytime I meet someone I get the classic “are u a boy or a girl” question. Everything but my voice is seen “girl like”. Apparently it’s my facial features or smth (think of that one streamer guy finnsmth except I’m not a femboy outside the scope of this ask + %100 sure I’d pull it better) most ppl seem to assume I’m either a trans man or a lesbian

The place I live is very conservative and ppl genuinely have no manners I cannot explain how many times I got some stranger telling me how I’d never be a “real man” or how I was “throwing away the gift of femininity” ig their hate is not technically directed towards me but I would be lying if i said this didn’t make me more comfortable in my own masculinity (bc there’ll always be ppl who say I’m a woman despite whatever I do so I just might well enjoy my life stupid logic ik) after a point I just got used to it I suppose

The aita part is that in last pride me & two my friends(18nb I’ll call Red/20F I’ll call Blue. they’re both queer) decided that it’d actually be super funny if I attended pride dresses as a woman, this was also partially bc it was Red’s first pride and they were nervous but also because I think it’s hilarious

Anyways so Blue lends me a dress(should also mention I’m pretty short like 5’6-7) and does my makeup. We even buy a wig for it

Of course there was homophobes like there is every year but honestly? It was super fun.

Like my average convo would go with them saying something on how god intended me to like man & I’d be like “oh that’s gay” or how I will never be a real woman after hearing me talk(ironic isn’t it?) and i’d say “cool. Never been one anyways”

this also helped Red & others around get a break cause turns out u spend less time hating when ur trying to convince someone they’re actually trans & gay

I genuinely had fun as most ppl were really cool, many ppl there seemed to find it funny like I did it was genuinely a great experience for me

However there were some people who were…not so cool w it. I got told it was disrespectful and it felt like I was mocking actual queer people/invading their spaces

Blue also asked her mostly queer group on the matter and they seem to be divided

I am also confused on this but one time I DID felt like the asshole was when a lesbian hit on me genuinely thinking I was a woman

so aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[radfemfyodor]

I don’t understand Liberals due to many reasons. One of them is believing that transphobia is comparable to actual bigotry.

For context, I shared my thoughts, that I feel like many, if not most people who are afraid of being accused of being terf are afraid not because they disagree with terfs, but because they fear harassment. As one of the examples I mentioned my own situation and how I was afraid to admit that I’m a RadFem, because I was too scared of how people (both in real life and online) would react to this information.

A Liberal obviously had to compare transphobia to actual bigotry, such as racism. “God, imagine if this person hated literally any other group based on any other dumbfuck reasoning” - Biology is a dumbfuck reasoning? I will try to explain my beliefs again, because Liberals water down my views to “Ugh I hate those troons! 😡 I hate them because I’m a hater and have no actual reasoning! 🤬”

Gender is a social construct based on stereotypes about women and men. Without stereotypes about women and men there is no gender and vice versa.

Let’s first look at trans women/transfems: Transfem to “validate” his “identity” will do activities usually associated with women such as wearing color pink, skirts, dresses, makeup, having long hair and doing nails. These activities don’t involve only physical appearance. Transfems often sexualize themselves on purpose, which isn’t only wearing revealing clothing. For example, many transfems like to use terms (mostly for female genitalia) from pornography, especially in their usernames. What I’m going to say now doesn’t specifically happen only in the transfem community, as it happens in transgender communities in general, but from my own experience it happens in transfem spaces more often - they defend pornography with their life, spread lies that Sex Work is “empowering”, their pages are full of pornographic content. If you tell them about the realities of Sex Work, they call you a swerf and bigot. Trans women’s/transfems’ “identifying” as women is in reality “identifying” with misogynistic stereotypes.

Now let’s look at trans men/transmascs: Transmasc to “validate” her “identity” will basically live comfortably in her body. She will stop shaving, wearing makeup, clothing that makes her uncomfortable such as short skirts and heels. There’s a high chance that she will cut her hair and not care about her clothing at all except the fact that it has to be comfortable to wear. Being “transmasc” is just not fitting patriarchal roles for women - trans men/transmasc are women who don’t fit into the patriarchal norms.

What I’m saying doesn’t come out of nowhere, I was a TRA for almost 4 years. All I have said comes from my and other people’s experiences. What I said about transfems is harsher and longer, because I’m tired of males “identifying” with our oppression, invading female only spaces which also leads to female only spaces getting removed. Almost no lesbian bars, because males who “identify” as women can go there and if you refuse to let them in, you are accused of bigotry. Males take part of women’s sports, which is unfair. Women and men are separated in sports due to differences in our biology. Males going to women’s restrooms and change rooms, often to harass women in these places, and if you don’t let them to go there, you are called a bigot. Notice how transmascs don’t invade male only spaces at all - transmasc don’t demand to go to men’s restrooms and change rooms, aren’t taking part in men’s sports either.

All these genders are just harmful stereotypes, making someone believe that they “were born in wrong body”. You weren’t “born in wrong body” because you don’t fit patriarchal gender norms. Liberals are convinced that I’m against gender, because I “hate” trans people and “I want them dead”. I’m against gender, because I want women to be “masculine” and men to “feminine” without them believing that there is something wrong with their bodies. I don’t want people to take hormones they shouldn’t and mutilate their reproductive organs, because they don’t fit stereotypes about their biological sex.

“Imagine if they were, say, racist and saying how hard it is to be a racist nowadays” How not denying biology is same as racism? HOW? Liberals have the weirdest comparisons, recently I got compared to HITLER… I don’t believe that transgender people aren’t humans, that they’re inferior, that they deserve to be assaulted and killed. Comparing me to actual bigots, because I’m aware that humans can’t change their biological sex is beyond crazy.

“No shit it’s hard and sad and annoying to be a hateful person, we don’t want that type of shit in society, It is unacceptable. It SHOULD be hard and make you afraid to be an out-and-proud bigot” I’m not a “hateful person”, I just don’t deny biology. It’s so… weird and stupid that nowadays being aware of the fact that women are adult human females and men are adult human males is bigotry. It’s regressive to deny these facts, accept them for your own good.

I’m not a “hateful” person, my “hate” is a genuine concern - I don’t want people to suffer mentally and physically, because they don’t fit patriarchal norms. Instead of encouraging people to take hormones they shouldn’t and mutilate their reproductive organs, let’s make them aware that it’s completely okay to not fit patriarchal stereotypes about their biological sex.

#gender critical #radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact

[strawberry-crocodile]

as a tme person, what do you recommend i do to become a better ally to trans women?

ive had this sitting in my inbox for a few weeks and i think i know what to say now;

The most direct and obvious answer is to donate money to transfems. All other variables (race, disability, parent's economic status, etc) equal, a tme person is going to have better job prospects and make more money than a transfeminine person. Hit up donation posts. It's not fun but I mean, its easy and its practical and it directly helps.

If there are trans women in your life, just... know them, respect them, be there for them, be open about the fact that you're aware of transmisogyny and trying to unlearn it, and just generally just offer your hand in help when you can.

More in general, interrogate your own biases wrt to trans women. Ask yourself questions like "am i projecting sexuality onto her?" am i projecting malice or deception onto her?" "am i assuming she knows less about gender than someone who was afab?" And- if you're comfortable- ask yourself that of other people, and challenge them when you see them say something transmisogynistic. Be vocal about these double standards- we're not predators, we're not sex objects, we're not liars, we're not men.

When you see people say "be normal about trans women", know that that's not something that's going to come naturally to anyone living in our society- just know that you're going to have to do some manual gear-shifting around the image of transfems in your head.

Read Whipping Girl.

#blogodile #tme ppl #<- this one said with love

[molsno]

I keep trying to post rent lowering gunshots on here which doesn't work because I've been too scared to go all the way for some reason and I've decided I'm not gonna be a whipping girl who caters to tmes anymore. maybe people will have enough decency to at least not harass me on my birthday.

anyway trans women who are into incest kink are cool. if that makes you personally uncomfortable, alright! the unfollow button is right there! but if you think that automatically makes me or any of the trans women I'm talking about groomers or sexual predators you are a raging transmisogynist lol. if you're unbothered by tme people calling their partners "daddy" or "mommy" but you draw the line at a trans woman calling her girlfriend, who she's not at all related to, "big sis" it's immediately obvious that you just think transfeminine intimacy is repulsive.

like, again, I'm not saying you have to be comfortable with any kink, but are you capable of viewing trans women with that kink as human beings? so many tme people claim to oppose things like incest kink because it "normalizes rape" and then go on to expose intimate details about trans women's sex lives without their consent, and it's so blatantly obvious that it's all horseshit. if you're publicly speculating about someone's sex life without permission you are violating their consent. it's an incredibly invasive breach of boundaries and it makes me sick to see how much disregard tme people have for trans women's privacy. it's clear you don't see us as people, just degenerate sex objects that you can discard at will.

and honestly the fact that this type of behavior is so common is the most frustrating part. have you ever stopped to wonder why there are seemingly a lot of trans women who are into incest kink - specifically involving sisters? did it ever occur to you that perhaps a lot of them are themselves victims of incest and csa? have you ever seriously considered that transfem relationships are generally more intimate than tme relationships because trans women are so starved of love and care that they fantasize about being unconditionally loved the way a sister would be instead of being discarded by everyone they know? like, trans women have our own community separate from the wider queer and trans communities specifically because we're so frequently outcasted by those communities the minute we do something they don't like.

I really don't care if I lose followers or even friends for this. if you think it's ok to harass, misgender, and publicly smear a trans woman for doing something no different than what tme people do, you're a transmisogynist. your opinion really does not fucking matter to me. I will stand with my fellow trans women over you forever and always.

#kvetching #transmisogyny

[mitskijamie]

pleaseeee give us more bigender jamie thoughts the concept is too good

Bigender Jamie my beloved….

He uses he/she pronouns <3 she doesn't mind they/them (pronouns are like. not very important to her honestly. she probably couldn’t tell you what a pronoun was if you asked LMAO) but she just doesn't really connect with gender neutrality/androgyny as much as she does with manhood and womanhood as separate and coexisting entities yk

When Jamie's super little, he starts asking Georgie why there are only boys and girls and he can't be both, and instead of jumping to tell him that's just the way it is (because she wants her bub to be a free thinker. obviously), she thinks about it for a while and is like. Well. I don’t know. I suppose you can be both if you’d like? And Jamie is like “ok :) yay :)” and runs with it

Georgie lets Jamie wear/do whatever he wants. She’s a very busy woman and simply has bigger things to worry about than her child wearing a pink shirt or whatever the fuck. As long as she can afford it, she'll buy it for him, because she's just trying to keep him happy and pay the bills yk

So Jamie amasses a small collection of what he calls “girl stuff," like these types of things

which he absolutely loves and has so much fun w. He's never pressured to identify any certain type of way or change anything about himself, always allowed to experiment, and he's very comfortable until he meets his dad

James starts coming around again when Jamie’s like 10ish, and he’s horrified by Georgie’s lax stance on masculinity and makes Jamie break/cut up/throw out her "girl stuff," because he doesn't think it's at all appropriate for his "son"

Having to destroy his favorite clothes and toys while his dad berates her is super traumatic and completely alters his perception of her gender/gender as a whole. When it was just him and Georgie, Jamie sort of took it for granted that he had room to experiment and didn’t realize that most people really don’t think it’s okay, and so it's a big shock and really forces her into the closet for a long time

Then she starts at the academy and everything around her is super masculine all the time, and she really tries put it behind her and convince herself that it was a phase and she doesn't have any need to indulge in that part of herself, since she's comfortable as a man and doesn't exactly feel disconnected from manhood

But as hard as he tries to convince himself otherwise, he always feels like he's missing part of himself. He's content with the life he's living and absolutely loves being one of the lads, but there's just something missing and it's undeniable and uncomfortable and always bubbling below the surface

So she's stuck in that limbo until she starts dating Keeley. He shows her an old picture where he’s wearing a Cinderella costume at daycare or something and tells her how he used to want to be “a girl and a boy at the same time” + about the “girl stuff” and how James made him destroy it, and he recounts the whole thing like it’s a funny story (because that’s just how he processes things) and is expecting Keeley to laugh with him, but she just gives him this really sad look and tells him she's sorry that happened to him and she hopes he feels comfortable expressing himself authentically with her

Which he doesn't at first, but he acclimates, because Keeley is willing to meet him halfway and work it out with him <3 She does his makeup on occasion and they experiment with phrases like "good girl" and "girlfriend" and even subtle public expressions of femininity like jewelry and nail polish and "women's" soap/shampoo, which Jamie really loves mixing with his generally masculine presentation

At one point Keeley asks her if she thinks she's a trans woman, and she's like. ":/ I don't think so, like I don't want to be a woman all the time, I just wish I could be a lady without having to give up being a lad 😔”

And Keeley of course is like "oh like bigender?"

She says it like it's nothing, but it's the first time Jamie's ever heard that and he had no idea that that was a real option and genuinely feels like he's found something he's been looking for his entire life and literally almost cries

(You can't spell "lady" without "lad" <3)

So Jamie starts to get Girl Stuff again (including some early-aughts nostalgia items identical to the things that James made her get rid of, which is very healing) and present the way she wants to present and has never ever been happier and finally feels whole

I have a LOT of thoughts about Jamie's gender identity and his relationship with Roy and the internal conflict/shame that would arise from that, but this post is already soooo long so you guys will have to let me know if you want me to talk about all that in another post

She's mostly pretty comfortable with her body, so she forgoes gender affirming surgeries, but she does start estrogen in her mid-late 20's, which is a game changer because it makes it easier to present feminine when she wants to while also allowing her to present masculine when she wants to

He doesn't really ever come out to the team, because that's not his style. They can figure it out on their own. (If you assume she's cis that's on you etc.) And they do!!! Dani starts calling her "amiga" on tuesdays thursdays and saturdays and "amigo" on mondays wednesdays and fridays or something like that lmaooo

He does come out to Georgie and Simon tho <3 Georgie is not surprised at all and takes to adding "baby girl" and "my daughter" to her repertoire very quickly, and at the end of the day she's the person whose opinion matters most to Jamie, so it's just a huge weight off his shoulders

(Simon makes her a bi flag cake and is like "love is love <3" and Jamie is like. Hm. Well. Thank you. You're a little lost but thank you)

#ask #jamie tartt #child abuse #transphobia #jamiegender #jeeley

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hey, I'm a trans (FTM) adult who isn't in the financial/mental place to move out from my parents' home. I told my dad I want to start testosterone soon and he was supportive. My mom, on the other hand, is very transphobic and she's not on board whatsoever (she's also extremely stubborn and won't change her mind). Should I start hormones anyway because at least one of my parents is supportive? Or, should I wait until I can move out?

(Side-note: I know my mom wouldn't kick me out if I did start T.)

Lee says:

Your well-being is the most important thing. Your mental health matters more than appeasing your transphobic mom! If starting testosterone is a crucial step for your mental and emotional health, it’s essential to prioritize it. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to start ASAP, but it does means having a plan to start, even if that plan involves moving out.

Having the support of your father is useful-- let him know if you need him to be a buffer between you and your mother, and ask him to stand up for you if she crosses the line from "unsupportive" to "verbally abusive". If he's okay with you starting T, he can help you to present your case with your mother.

Maintaining open, honest, and respectful dialogue is the only thing you can do to try and help your mom understand your choices. Sometimes people surprise you and change-- even if it takes years to happen.

But even if your mom is stubborn and never understands, if you express your feelings, experiences, and needs clearly, and tried to listen to her concerns and fears and address them, at least you'll know that you did all that you can to try and reach out to her and you won't have any regrets about not having tried harder to salvage the relationship.

Sometimes, providing educational resources and answering questions can alleviate some concerns, so if she's willing, having her speak to another cisgender mom who is supportive of their young adult on testosterone can help, and you can try providing her with the meeting times for your local PFLAG chapter or other parent support group.

Remember, this is your journey, and it’s important to make decisions that align with your needs, values, and well-being. The things I may choose to prioritize may not make sense for your current situation. While I would personally lean towards the "fuck around and find out" type of approach to starting T without your mom's support since you are an adult and aren't concerned about losing your housing, that can also backfire if you're living in a place where you don't feel safe.

Even if you think that your mom wouldn’t kick you out, it’s essential to assess all the risks involved thoroughly, including the risk to you emotionally. You have to weigh the positive impact of starting T and feeling more comfortable in your body (which can help with depression) with the potential impact on your mental and emotional health due to possible increased tension or conflict at home (which can make depression worse).

While you're going through this, getting support from a mental health professional or counselor can be literally life-saving, especially if you already struggle with mental illness. A therapist who has a lot of experience with trans clients can provide guidance, support, and resources to help you and your family navigate this journey. They can also facilitate family discussions, and it can be helpful to have them "referee" tough conversations with your mom-- sometimes having a third party witness helps people to reign in their behavior so it don't get too out of hand.

If you're not in the mental place you need to be to move out, therapy (whether it's one-on-one meetings with an individual therapist or an intensive outpatient group program) might also help with getting the stability you need to be ready to live more independently.

Building a support network outside your family can also help give you an outlet when things are rough at home. Connecting with friends, support groups, or organizations that understand and support your journey can help you get through the tough times.

Everyone says "it gets better" for a reason, but sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. It can be hard to start medically transitioning because you might find changes don't happen as quickly as you had hoped, and there's often a point when you're more "visibly trans" but not yet passing 100% of the time which can make you feel even more self-conscious when it comes to things like using a gendered locker room at the local gym when you don't know whether people in either room might complain to the front desk about someone of the "Wrong" gender being in there.

Even though moving out isn’t an immediate option, it can help to think of developing a plan for eventual independence as part of your transition too. Working, saving money, exploring housing options, learning how to "Adult" and get health insurance, etc, are all things that can move you closer to your goal of transitioning, especially if you decide to wait to start T until after you've moved out.

It can really help to break things into tiny steps (like spending a certain amount of time per day job hunting or aiming to save up a target amount) remember that you not only have a goal but also a plan and a path to get there and achieve that goal.

Personally, I would probably chose to start T, but I'm not you. If you've been ruminating on this for a while and still can't decide what to do, making a simple pro/con T-chart can help sometimes. If that doesn't work, and you've talked it over with your dad to get his opinion, and asked your friends, and you're still not sure, then maybe it's time to consult a therapist again-- they can really help with the emotional side of this type of decision-making. But in the end, it's up to you.

Good luck!! I believe in you!!!

Followers, any advice for anon?

#Lee says #unsupportive family #testosterone #trans #transgender

[richincolor]

January's New Releases

2024 has already started off right with a strong list of new releases of debuts, a few sequels and trilogies, and a whole slew of highly anticipated novels. Which book will you start your 2024 TBR list with? Click below to read all that has come out so far.

Week of January 2nd

Stay with My Heart by Tashie Bhuiyan Inkyard Press

From the author of Counting Down with You  and  A Show for Two comes a new YA contemporary about a girl who accidentally sabotages an up-and-coming local band and falls for the guitarist while secretly trying to make up for her mistake.

Liana Sarkar lives and breathes music, hoping to follow in the footsteps of her A&R coordinator father. Maybe if she succeeds, he’ll finally give her the time of day instead of drowning himself in work to distract from the grief of her mother’s passing.

When Liana accidentally sabotages an up-and-coming local band, Third Eye, she makes it her mission to steer them towards success—without them discovering her role in their setback. But as she gets closer to Third Eye, especially their enigmatic leader Skyler Moon, it becomes harder to hide the truth.

With both her heart and their futures on the line, will Liana be able to undo the damage she’s caused?

Just Happy to Be Here by Naomi Kanakia HarperTeen

In this YA standalone perfect for fans of Tobly McSmith and Meredith Russo, the first out trans girl at an all-girls school must choose between keeping her head down or blazing a trail.

Tara just wants to be treated like any other girl at Ainsley Academy.

That is, judged on her merits—not on her transness. But there’s no road map for being the first trans girl at an all-girls school. And when she tries to join the Sibyls, an old-fashioned Ainsley sisterhood complete with code names and special privileges, she’s thrust into the center of a larger argument about what girlhood means and whether the club should exist at all.

Being the figurehead of a movement isn’t something Tara’s interested in. She’d rather read old speeches and hang out with the Sibyls who are on her side—especially Felicity, a new friend she thinks could turn into something more. Then the club’s sponsor, a famous alumna, attacks her in the media and turns the selection process into a spectacle.

Tara’s always found comfort in the power of other peoples’ words. But when it comes time to fight for herself, will she be able to find her own voice?

Dark Star Burning, Ash Falls White (Song of the Last Kingdom #2) by Amélie Wen Zhao Delacorte

Years ago, the Elantian colonizers invaded Lan’s homeland and killed her mother in their search to uncover the Last Kingdom’s greatest the location of its legendary four Demon Gods. Lan’s mother devoted her life to destroying the Demon Gods, and Lan is determined to finish her mission. Yet, there are others searching for the gods, too.

Zen knew his soul was forfeit the moment he made a deal with the Demon God known as the Black Tortoise, but he’s willing to lose himself if it means saving the Kingdom–and the girl–he loves. But to crush the colonizers who have invaded his land he needs more power than even a single Demon God can provide. He needs an army. And he knows exactly where he can find it–in the undead army his great grandfather lead decades ago.

The Elantians may have stolen their throne, but the battle for the Last Kingdom has only begun.

Ghost Roast by Shawneé and Shawnelle Gibbs & illustrated by Emily Cannon Versify

For as long as she can remember, Chelsea Grant has tried everything she can think of to distance herself from the disastrous damage her father does to her social life. It’s not easy to shake her reputation as Ghost Girl when Dad keeps advertising his business as a “paranormal removal expert” in big, bold, loud letters all over New Orleans!

This year, Chelsea’s all grown up, attending one of the most prestigious high schools in the city, and she’s finally made friends with the popular crowd. Things are looking up—until a night on the town backfires spectacularly, landing her in hot water at home. Her punishment? Working for her dad at Paranormal Removal Services. All. Summer.

Worst of all, her new job reveals an unexpected secret she has to keep: While Dad hunts ghosts with his own DIY tech, Chelsea can actually see them. And when she meets Oliver, a friendly spirit, at the fancy mansion her dad is getting a handsome fee to exorcize, she realizes she has to save his after-life, even if it risks everything her father’s worked for.

Week of January 9th

Somewhere in the Deep by Tanvi Berwah Sourcebooks Fire

Seventeen-year-old Krescent Dune is buried under the weight of her dead parents’ debt and the ruinous legacy they left behind. The only way she can earn enough money to escape her unforgiving island is by battling monstrous creatures in an underground fighting pit. After a fight goes terribly wrong, she’s banned from the pits. Now hopeless, she is offered a deal: in exchange for the erasure of her debts, she must join and protect a hunting party for a rescue mission deep within the mining caves beneath the island.

Krescent is determined to keep her head down and fulfill her role as the dutiful bodyguard, even though she is trapped underground with her childhood enemy and a company of people who would gladly kill her if they knew who her parents were. As they come across creatures she believed only existed in legends, it becomes clear they are in far more danger than she could have imagined. But someone doesn’t want her to make it out alive. And she’ll have to figure out who before she’s left alone… in the dark.

From the author of Monsters Born and Made comes an action-packed South Asian inspired fantasy that will have your heart racing at every turn.

Arya Khanna’s Bollywood Moment by Arushi Avachat Wednesday Books

Shaadi preparations are in full swing, which means lehenga shopping, taste testing, dance rehearsals, and best of all, Arya’s sister Alina is home. The Khannas are together again, finally, and Arya wants to enjoy it. So she stifles her lingering resentment towards Alina, plays mediator during her sister’s fights with their mother, and welcomes her future brother-in-law with open arms. (Okay, maybe enjoy isn’t exactly right.)

Meanwhile at school, Arya’s senior year dreams are unraveling. In between class and her part-time gig as a bookshop assistant, Arya struggles to navigate the aftermath of a bad breakup between her two best friends and a tense student council partnership with her rival, the frustratingly attractive Dean Merriweather.

Arya is determined to keep the peace at home and at school, but this shaadi season teaches Arya new realities: Alina won’t always be in the bedroom down the hall, Mamma’s sadness isn’t mendable, friendships must evolve, and life doesn’t always work out like her beloved Bollywood movies. But sometimes, the person you least expect will give you a glimpse of your dream sequence just when you need it most.

Structured like a Bollywood film (entertaining intermission included!) Arya Khanna’s Bollywood Moment will make you swoon, laugh, cry, think, nod your head in agreement, and quite possibly make you get up and dance.

Lunar New Year Love Story by Gene Luen Yang and illustrated by LeUyen Pham First Second

Valentina Tran was named after Valentine’s Day, which used to be her favorite holiday. But when Val learns the truth behind what happened with her parents and why she’s being raised by a single father, she realizes true love is a lie. This is reinforced when she meets the spirit of Saint Valentine, who tells her she and her family are cursed to always be unlucky in love. Val is ready to give into her fate, until one Lunar New Year festival, where a mysterious lion dancer hands her a paper heart, and ZING. Val becomes determined to change her destiny, prove Saint Valentine wrong, and give her heart to the right person.

Meanwhile, lion dancing is the only thing that has given Jae peace after his dad passed away. It’s also what keeps him connected to his father’s side of the family. Both Jae and his cousin Leslie notice Val at the Lunar New Year festival, and for some inexplicable reason, Jae hands Val a paper heart. But it’s Leslie, with his K-Pop good looks, who starts to date Val. Jae still feels this connection with Val and feels it’s somehow tied to how he feels about losing his father.

Both Val and Jae struggle with the spirits who haunt them as they are inextricably brought together in a love story that is satisfying, sweet, and moving.

Week of January 16th

Escaping Mr. Rochester by L.L. McKinney HarperTeen

Jane has no interest in a husband. Eager to make her own way in the world, she accepts the governess position at Thornfield Hall. Though her new employer, Edward Rochester, has a charming air—not to mention a handsome face—Jane discovers that his smile can sharpen in an instant. Plagued by Edward’s mercurial mood and the strange wails that echo through the corridors, she grows suspicious of the secrets hidden within Thornfield Hall—unaware of the true horrors lurking above her very head.

On the topmost floor, Bertha is trapped in more ways than one. After her whirlwind marriage to Edward turned into a nightmare, he locked her away as revenge for withholding her inheritance. Now his patience grows thin in the face of Bertha’s resilience and Jane’s persistent questions, and both young women are in more danger than they realize. When their only chance at safety—and perhaps something more—is in each other’s arms, can they find and keep one another safe before Edward’s dark machinations close in around them?

Most Ardently by Gabe Cole Novoa Feiwel & Friends

London, 1812 . Oliver Bennet feels trapped—not just by the endless corsets, petticoats, and skirts he’s forced to wear on a daily basis, but also by society’s expectations. The world, and the vast majority of his family and friends, think Oliver is a girl named Elizabeth. He is therefore expected to mingle at balls wearing a pretty dress, entertain suitors regardless of his interest in them, and ultimately become someone’s wife.

But Oliver can’t bear the thought of such a fate. He finds solace in the few times he can sneak out of his family’s home and explore the city rightfully dressed as a young gentleman. It’s during one such excursion when Oliver becomes acquainted with Darcy, a sulky young man who had been rude to “Elizabeth” at a recent social function. But in the comfort of being out of the public eye, Oliver comes to find that Darcy is actually a sweet, intelligent boy with a warm heart, not to mention attractive.

As Oliver spends more time as his true self, often with Darcy, part of him dares to hope that his dream of love and life as a man can be possible. But suitors are growing bolder―and even threatening―and his mother is growing more desperate to see him settled into an engagement. Oliver will have to choose: settle for safety, security, and a life of pretending to be something he’s not, or risk it all for a slim chance at freedom, love, and a life that can be truly his own.

So Let Them Burn (Divine Traitors #1) by Kamilah Cole Little, Brown Young Readers

Whip-smart and immersive, this Jamaican-inspired fantasy follows a gods-blessed heroine who’s forced to choose between saving her sister or protecting her homeland.

Faron Vincent can channel the power of the gods. Five years ago, she used her divine magic to liberate her island from its enemies, the dragon-riding Langley Empire. But now, at seventeen, Faron is all powered up with no wars to fight. She’s a legend to her people and a nuisance to her neighbors.

When she’s forced to attend an international peace summit, Faron expects that she will perform tricks like a trained pet and then go home. She doesn’t expect her older sister, Elara, forming an unprecedented bond with an enemy dragon—or the gods claiming the only way to break that bond is to kill her sister.

As Faron’s desperation to find another solution takes her down a dark path, and Elara discovers the shocking secrets at the heart of the Langley Empire, both must make difficult choices that will shape each other’s lives, as well as the fate of their world.

A Drop of Venom by Sajni Patel Rick Riordan Presents

Sixteen-year-old Manisha is no stranger to monsters—she’s been running from them for years, from beasts who roam the jungle to the King’s army, who forced her people, the naga, to scatter to the ends of the earth. You might think that the kingdom’s famed holy temples atop the floating mountains, where Manisha is now a priestess, would be safe—but you would be wrong.

Seventeen-year-old Pratyush is a famed slayer of monsters, one of the King’s most prized warriors and a frequent visitor to the floating temples. For every monster the slayer kills, years are added to his life. You might think such a powerful warrior could do whatever he wants, but true power lies with the King. Tired after years of fighting, Pratyush wants nothing more than a peaceful, respectable life.

When Pratyush and Manisha meet, each sees in the other the possibility to chart a new path. Unfortunately, the kingdom’s powerful have other plans. A temple visitor sexually assaults Manisha and pushes her off the mountain into a pit of vipers. A month later, the King sends Pratyush off to kill one last monster (a powerful nagin who has been turning men to stone) before he’ll consider granting his freedom.

Except Manisha doesn’t die, despite the hundreds of snake bites covering her body and the venom running through her veins. She rises from the pit more powerful than ever before, with heightened senses, armor-like skin, and blood that can turn people to stone. And Pratyush doesn’t know it, but the “monster” he’s been sent to kill is none other than the girl he wants to marry.

Alternating between Manisha’s and Pratyush’s perspectives, Sajni Patel weaves together lush language, high stakes, and page-turning suspense, demanding an answer to the question “What does it truly mean to be a monster?”

Beasts of War (Beasts of Prey #3) by Ayana Gray Nancy Paulsen Books

Once a prisoner to Fedu, the vengeful god of death, Koffi has regained her freedom, but she is far from safe. Fedu will stop at nothing to hunt her down and use her power to decimate the mortal world. Koffi knows when Fedu will during the next Bonding, a once-in-a-lifetime celestial event. To survive, Koffi will have to find powerful new allies quickly, and convince them to help her in the terrible battle to come.

Once a warrior-turned-runaway, Ekon has carved out a new life for himself outside Lkossa, but the shadows of his past still haunt him. Now, alongside unexpected friends, Ekon tries to focus on getting Koffi to the Kusonga Plains before the next Bonding. If he fails, Koffi will be consumed, either by her own dangerous power, or the terrible fate Ekon is doing everything he can to prevent. Ekon devotes himself to protecting Koffi, but the lingering threats from his own past are more urgent than he knows.

As Koffi and Ekon race to the Kusonga Plains—and try to garner the help of Eshōza’s ancient gods along the way—they must face a slew of dangerous beasts old and new. In the end, destiny may unite Koffi and Ekon for the last time—or tear them apart for good.

Week of January 23rd

Into the Sunken City by Dinesh Thiru HarperTeen

In the slowly sinking city of Coconino, Arizona, the days are long, the money is tight, and the rain never stops.

For Jin Haldar, this life is nothing new—ever since her father died in a diving accident, she’s barely made ends meet for her and her younger sister, Thara.

Enter Bhili: a drifter who offers Jin and Thara the score of a lifetime—a massive stash of gold hidden in the sunken ruins of Las Vegas.

Jin knows it’s too dangerous. She stopped diving after her father’s accident. But when her sister decides to go, Jin’s left with only one choice: to go with her.

A ragtag crew is assembled—including Jin’s annoyingly hot ex-boyfriend. From there, a high-stakes heist ensues that’s beyond even Jin’s wildest fears. Crumbling ruins, sea beasts, corsairs, and a mysterious figure named João Silva all lie in wait. To survive, Jin will have to do what she promised herself she’d never do again: dive.

Out of Our League: 16 Stories of Girls in Sports edited by Dahlia Adler and Jennifer Iacopelli Feiwel and Friends

A compelling YA anthology from editors Dahlia Adler and Jennifer Iacopelli about the trials and triumphs of girls in sports.

Ambition. Drive. Determination. Talent. Courage. Teamwork.

Every athlete knows what it takes to win. But for teen female players, the stakes are so much higher. In this anthology, the voices of these athletes come alive, highlighting the ferocity of those who are often shunted to the side. From navigating rampant misogyny to forging a sisterhood through sweat or just reveling in the love of the game, the stories in Out of Our League address the phenomenal physical and emotional power of teenage athletes as they compete, persevere, and thrive, on and off the field.

The Colliding Worlds of Mina Lee by Ellen Oh Crown

When a Korean American teenage artist gets sucked into the world of her own web comic, she must find a way out with the help of a cute boy all while facing off against a villainous corporation. Inspired by the A-ha’s “Take on Me” music video, this entertaining YA novel is a grounded speculative fiction adventure from the co-founder of We Need Diverse Books.

Mina has become the hero of her own story. Literally.

When Mina Lee woke up on Saturday morning for SAT prep, she did NOT expect to:

1. Nearly be fried by a superhero who turned out to be a supervillain. 2. Come face to face with Jin, the handsome boy of her dreams. 3. Discover a conspiracy involving the evil corporation Merco that she created.

And it’s all happening in her fictional world. Mina is trapped in the story she created. Now it’s up to her to save everyone. Even if it means losing Jin forever.

Barracoon by Zora Neal Hurston, Adapted by Ibram X. Kendi, Illustrated by Jazzmen Lee-Johnson HarperCollins Childrens

In the first middle grade offering from Zora Neale Hurston and Ibram X. Kendi, young readers are introduced to the remarkable and true-life story of Cudjo Lewis, one of the last survivors of the Atlantic human trade, in an adaptation of the internationally bestselling and critically acclaimed Barracoon.

This is the life story of Cudjo Lewis, as told by himself.

Of the millions of men, women, and children transported from Africa to America to be enslaved, eighty-six-year-old Cudjo Lewis was then the only person alive to tell the story of his capture and bondage—fifty years after the Atlantic human trade was outlawed in the United States. Cudjo shared his firsthand account with legendary folklorist, anthropologist, and writer Zora Neale Hurston.

Adapted with care and delivered with age-appropriate historical context by award-winning historian Ibram X. Kendi, Cudjo’s incredible story is now available for young readers and emerging scholars. With powerful illustrations by Jazzmen Lee-Johnson, this poignant work is an invaluable contribution to our shared history and culture.

#new releases #weneeddiversebooks #young adult books

[variousqueerthings]

we have always been here: documentaries about trans people

documentaries about trans people, starting in the year 1953. I don't speak to filmic quality or whether or not something is problematic, what matters here is simply the testimony and the stamp of existence (including in those where the subject matter is spoken about, rather than getting to speak for themselves)

(I haven't seen every one of these yet, so some of them have slightly shorter texts to go along with them)

while (as you'll see) most of these are US-based movies, they are from all over the world. I'd be curious about whether there are any focused specifically on the intersection of transness and disability, I don't personally know of any, although of many speak to issues with access to healthcare (for example southern comfort)

all the ones that have links connected to them are watchable for free

some of these can be watched for free on the archive, youtube, vimeo, many could do with a few coins thrown their way: many of the movies, for example the the aggressives can be rented on vimeo, transgender tuesdays is free on youtube but accepting donations for trans women of colour, lotus sports club is doing festivals currently and is accepting donations to support the team and the vulnerable trans (now men) who have had to leave it to find work, call her ganda is accepting donations to support the family's legal costs in bringing justice for their daughter

remember, finding the stories that have been graciously shared is one thing, supporting our community is the next step

glen or glenda (1953): the first known movie about trans people, a mixed-media semi-fictional account (US)

the queen (1968) (US): following drag-queens at a national beauty pageant two years before stonewall, including footage of crystal labeija (US)

change of sex (1979-1999): a five-part series following trans woman julia grant as she tries to access gender affirming care via the gender identity clinic (UK - available on BBC iplayer)

paris is burning (1990): documenting queer people in the ballroom scene, community, competition, and challenges (US)

shinjuku boys (1995): following five young men who work at onabe bars, which cater to women, as they try to make ends meet (Japan)

transexual menace (1996): snapshots of the melting pot of trans life in new york, from famous faces, to protest, including several immigrants to america from columbia, west africa, japan, hawaii, and germany (Germany/US)

you don't know dick: courageous hearts of transsexual men (1997): about several trans men in different walks of life, who chat about their experiences, politics, and history (US)

the brandon teena story (1998): a documentation about the murder of brandon teena, using testimonies from the people involved (US)

southern comfort (2001): follows robert eads in the final year of his life, before he died of initially treatable ovarian cancer (US)

superstar in a housedress: the life and legend of jackie curtis (2004): a portrait of jackie curtis, one of the earliest punk pioneers, by (mainly cis) people who knew her (US)

screaming queens: the riot at compton’s cafeteria (2005): a rare documentary of the time featuring the voices of trans activists, about the pre-stonewall compton's cafeteria riot (US)

beautiful darling (2005): a portrait of candy darling (one of the trans woman superstars of the 60s) from the perspective of the (mainly cis) people who knew her (US)

the aggressives (2005): centered on black studs, mascs, and trans men, and more, exploring the term "aggressives," race and gender, filmed over five years (US)

Jayne County: man enough to be a woman (2005): a performance by veteran punk musician Jayne County and her band (UK/US) (excerpt)

beautiful daughters (2006): following a group of trans women who performed the vagina monologues in 2005 (US)

still black: a portrait of black transmen (2008): a series of interviews following black trans men speaking about their lives, careers, race, and gender (US)

the advocate for fagdom (2011): a series of political testimonies by queer activists, including the punk musician vaginal davis (US)

she said boom: the story of fifth column (2012): a documentary about seminal 1980s queercore punkband fifth column (Canada)

TRANS (2012): following a series of trans people at varying places in their transition, and the people around them (US)

hide & seek (2013): a group of trans people in pakistan speak about their experiences with the language they have access to (Pakistan)

before the last curtain falls (2014): transexuals and drag queens in their 60s-70s touring a show called "gardenias" (Germany)

mala mala (2014): following a number of trans people in puerto rico from all walks of life (Puerto Rico)

queercore: how to punk a revolution (2017): a primer to the history of queercore with interviews of some of the people who created the scene (US)

laerte-se (2017): a portrait of the underrated visual artist laerte (Brazil)

a year in transition (2018): 20 year old arab-american trans man documents one year of going on hormones (US)

call her ganda (2018): the story about the murder of a trans filipino woman named ganda by a us marine and the repercussions (Philippines)

indianara (2019): indianara is an activist fighting for trans survival and rights in brazil (Brazil)

disclosure (2020): going through a history of trans representation in the media (US)

transgender tuesdays (2020): featuring trans people talking about a groundbreaking gender-affirming clinic that opened in the 90s in the san franciscan tenderloin district (US)

prayers for sweet waters (2021): three trans sex-workers who live in cape town discuss their experience during covid (South Africa)

the end of wonderland (2021): follows erotic photographer tara emory as she goes through changes in her life (US)

travesía travesti (2021): the last performance of a cabaret during the chilean revolt of 2019 (Chile)

casa susanna (2022): documentary about the 50s summer retreat for male crossdressers and trans women (US)

la vida es un carnaval (2022): in a rural town, a group of trans women plan the first gay pride during its annual carnival and a bunch of scar tissue comes up (Mexico)

this is not me (2022): two young transmen in iran with supportive families share their daily lives (Iran)

lotus sports club (2022): a football club in cambodia run by trans man pa vann and a safe space for trans boys and lesbians (Cambodia)

nel mio nome (2022): four italian transmen share their thoughts, experiences, and identities (Italy)

the dads (2023): a group of dads of trans kids meet with the father of matthew shepard for a fishing trip (US)

kokomo city (2023): intra-community, celebratory documentary centering black trans sex-workers in america (US)

#queer stuff #trans stuff #queer resources #queer cinema #queer documentary #trans documentary #trans rights #queer rights #queer culture #queer art

[candycane969]

✨🎧🌆ROTTMNT DONATELLO HEADCANONS🌆🎧✨

made by me! candy! :3 no major spoilers

A quick guide!✨

💜 - Supported by canon (things that are pretty sure out there, maybe not confirmed 100% but yeah)

❤ - Kind of supported by canon (things that happened in the series that miiiight lead to some other stuff)

🧡 - My source is that I made it the fuck up (still trying to fit it into the character tho)

⭐ - Not sure if I'm taking this headcanon or not, but I do think It's pretty neat

💋 - Kinky! DISCLAIMER: Ive always seen the rottmnt boys (and April) in the age group from 17 to 19 and thats what I headcanon them as (as it is my own age group!). Ive seen the show and was fucking sure theyre my age and then a month or two later I was slapped in the face with thier actual age lol. I dont support any pedo shit, I also dont think minors can consent. Just putting it out there

Lets go!🌆💜🎧⭐✨

The 'Tism

• 💜 I think Its pretty fucking obvious that this boy is autistic, pretty much everything in the show supports this.

• ❤ Donny's headgear also works as noise cancelling headphones! He's often overwhelmed by background sounds and his gear makes it easier for him to live his life (either on missions or just spending time with his brothers and/or April). He still loves blasting his music on the highest volume tho. It's different when you consent to hearing your jams then when several people are talking at once and youre going crazy.

Tagging as kind of canon because he might have audio sensory issues because of his autism and you can reraly see him without the damn googles.

Different stims

❤ Foot stomping

❤ Hand flapping

🧡 Repeating a song/part of song over and over (yes, even if it has no words)

❤ Spinning on chairs

🧡 Pacing around the lab/the lair

• 💜 He knows ASL! Though It's never said in the show why he learned it, I believe that because he goes nonverbal often. Everyone in the lair can sign a bit because of that, but not everybody is too good at it. Donatello can communicate in ASL fluently.

Gender

• 🧡 Donatello never really felt connected to being "a men" and categorising things as "for boys" and "for girls" always seemed dumb to him. Shortly after Leo's coming out as a trans men (SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON) he went to talk to him about his gender experience. After some thinking and digging, Don came to the conclusion that he is in fact nonbinary. He still uses mostly male pronounces but always appreciates gender neutral pronounces coming his way.

Sexuality

• 🧡 While realising his own gender he also figured out that he doesn't really sees gender that seriously in others either. Men or women, its pretty much whatever to him. He doesn't like to label himself much when it comes to his sexuality, he accepts reffering to him as a pansexual or bisexual.

• 🧡 When it comes to dating Donatello doesn't imagine himself with anyone, really. He finds himself attractive, but doesn't think anyone would fancy him in a romantic way. He's not interessted much in dating either way. But he doesn't exclude dating someone in the future. It's just he won't go out of his way to look for love.

• ❤/🧡 Its obvious Don is a men of science, he's a genius when it comes to coding, math, engineering, I would say chemistry as well. Thats the field he feels the most comfortable in, but he loves learning new things in general. As long as there is interesting knowledge he can obtain, he will be there, soaking it like a sponge. He likes listening to info dumps, and probably listens to long ass video essays and/or podcasts.

• 🧡 Don likes to learn about others people hobbys and takes interest in learning about it. He likes showing others that he cares about something, even though Its something totally indifferent to him. For example, he knows lot about art making process from Mikey (Angelo even made him paint with him a couple of times!) even tho he doesn't really likes drawing and/or famous artists. No many people appreciate his work so he wants to show his appreciation to others.

• 💜 He is pretty low empathy most of the time. It's hard for him to relate to others, and can often feel like someone is overreacting. It's also challenging for him to put his feelings "out there". Which often makes him look unloving or unfriendly. And it couldn't be farther from the truth. He loves his brothers even though they bother him most of the time. And he loves April as well (though she never really troubled him much). He never really thinks that his low empathy is a flaw (more often he thinks about it as a blessing) but there rare are moment when he feels helpless because of it. He is glad that his family knows that he truly cares about them (and accepts any effort he puts in to express his feelings, even if it seems small).

• 🧡⭐ I've seen people headcanoning Donny as a baker and honestly I like it a lot. Cooking is Mikeys domain, and it suits him well, as it allows a lot of freestyling and just overall feeling. Baking and pastry making is very calculated and one miatake can ruin the whole thing. It reminds Don of engineering in a sense. Also baking is an easy way to get love and appreciation from his family because, cmon, he just made the most angelic fruit tarts in the whole universe, of course they're going to praise him. It also works as a stress relief. When feeling stumped and/or overwhelmed over a project or a situation he'll make something easy like brownies to get his mind of it.

• 🧡 He's very sentimental. He loves receiving gifts and will cherish and use them (even if he doesn't like it). He still has every "gamers dont die they respawn" Tshirt and every "dont fuck with my brother he was born in october and has autism" mug. Sometimes he REALLY wants to throw something away but god damn it this is painting Mikey did when he was ten and is just five splats of paint and thinking about him somehow finding out and crying about it might destroy him forever.

• 🧡⭐ This bitch reads fanfics, thats it. It started when he was around 13 or smth with Atomic Lass x Reader and now he knows all the fanfic lingo. He still might read something from time to time and writes very long and well written comments (with constructive criticism).

• 🧡 Speaking of which, Don writes perfect sentences while texting. All the correct spelling and punctuation. He also communicates with emojis and gifs like a millenial.

Food, TW: drinking!

• 🧡 He has a rather strong head, you cant make him drunk that easily. But when it finally happens, youre in for a ride. Shutting him up is near impossible, he will talk non-stop but with much less eloquence then while sober. Its extremely easy to make him laugh, so Leo absolutely loves it. He often looses track of what hes saying and starts completely different rant. Overall a chaotic mess. Really fun to witness it at least once. His beverage of choice is either fun cocktails or beer (tho rarely and/or only with some kind of juice because he doesn't like the fizziness on his tongue).

• 🧡 And that takes us to Donatello that hates fizzy drinks. He hates carbonated beverages, no matter if its cola or champagne. The feeling on his tongue and in his mouth makes him really uncomfortable. When there is no other choice but to drink up some bubbless, he leaves it open for as long as he can to get rid of them. His brothers despise him for that.

• 🧡 He doesn't like weird food combos either and is rather picky. When ordering food Don sticks to what he knows not to risk an uncomfortable texture touching his mouth. Texture is the most often reason for him not liking a specific food. Donnys pretty strict to preparing food as well (the way he does a thing is The Correct Way and no other exception is acceptable). Also he puts milk first so his cereal doesn't get soggy.

• 🧡 I feel like he likes fruit juices in boxes and fruit mousses but this is pretty random 🤷

• ❤/🧡 He wears contacts! We've seen little Donny with glassess, so I assumed he wears contacts now. When he knows he will be spending all day in the lair (for example because of an injury) he still has a pair of glassess he uses. And yes, he tapes them to the head. Because he rarely ever wears them, he never came up with a solution for not having ears and needing glassess.

• 🧡 ABSOLUTELY hates smoking. Will go on a rant if he sees someone he knows smoking. He absolutely despises the smell and WILL take it out of someones mouth/hand and throw it away. Appreciates the fun smells of vapes but still hates them. Will call vapers losers (maybe not exacly in these words but he will for sure).

• 🧡 Really good at makeup, but not as good as Leo is (ANOTHER SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON). He spend years perfecting his eyebrows of course. He also wears eyeliner because serving cunt is important even on the battlefield. From time to time you can see his nails painted as well.

• 🧡⭐ While being flustered or simply distracted he stutters a lot, mostly in a way of repeating whole words or parts of a sentence ("Its good because- Its good- Its good because I um- Its good-")

• 🧡 Enjoys taking very long baths, and actually prefers them much more then showers. Can stay underwater for a rather long time as well!! Being fully submerged calms him down a lot and its overall very relaxing for him.

• 🧡⭐ Ive seen a lot of takes that without his battle shell, he is really flexible (due to having a soft shell). And I like the idea. I think, that before sitting infront of a screen (or a desk in general) to do his work for several hours he stretches deeply so his back won't be so sore later. Also a reason to draw Donny in yoga poses and thats always cool.

• ❤ Makes up shit to fuck with his brothers. Like just spreading misinformation and gaslighting them for shit and giggles. Or to get them to leave him alone for a while. Also will gaslight them if they somehow find out that he was lying ("what? you must have heard me wrong then 🙄💅")

• 💜/❤ Loves singing and dancing!!! Aint the best singer (tho I love his songs in the show Im kissing him as we speak) but is a gorgeous dancer! He finds it incredibly fun and feels fabulous while doing it. Also Im pretty sure dancing counts as stimming so add it to the list. Dances solo like 90% of the time but really enjoys dancing in pairs (dances with April a whole lot when they get the chance!).

• ❤ He rarely laughs out loud, but when he does it is loud and messy. A good joke can make him think about it all day and continue laughing for a long time. Not my og take, Ive seen this headcanon before and I love it so so much :3

• 🧡 From all his brothers, he kind of wishes to be human the most of them all. Its not a big big wish, he does think of himself as very unique individual and takes pride of being a mutant. But sometimes while hanging out with April he can get lost in his thoughts of "what ifs". Maybe in the process of making a cloaking accessory.

• 🧡 His handwriting is god-awful. All scribly and fucked up like Doctors writing. Unfamiliar eye would not decipher a word out of it, but Don knows exactly what everything means. But he mostly writes digitally.

• ❤ Dons dislike of hugging is canon, but I do believe he likes being touched on his head and face (head pats, cheek rubs, scratches). He enjoys hand holding when it's appropriate as well.

• 💋 Im headcanoning the boys to go through mating season once a year (except mikey cuz he small) everyone at a different time. It would be similiar to an ovulation but much more horny (with also fever symptoms). Don would be the second after Raph to get it. While in heat he doesn't go feral or anything, but after a few days stops working because he cant focus on his craft. Waves of sudden temperature changes (mostly high heat) with really horny thoughts and hypersensitivity to pretty much everything...yeah not the best work environment. He spends his  most intensive days closed off in his lab or room because he really doesn't want his family to see him like this (the rest of the turtles are in thier rooms during thier mating time as well for the same reason). Also add being possessive while having a SO, and also veeery easy to irritate.

• 💋 Donny takes on a more submissive role while being intimate, even though he loves to be in charge all the time. But he isn't a bottom either, I would put him perfectly in the middle as a switch (more leaning on that sub part tho).

• 💋 His biggest turn on is smell. Like someones natural smell, no perfumes and all. He likes to snuggle in the crook of the neck and take it all in. This becomes cranked up to eleven during mating season, as he absolutely cannot stop sniffing. Would love his significant other to leave him clothes with thier smell on it and sleep and/or snuggle with it.

Might add more later but thats all for now :3💜

Hope you enjoyed it⭐✨

#If you think Ive misrepresented him or something is clashing with canon let me know #going to make Leo headcanons soon cuz I have a lot I love him #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #tmnt #donatello #text #rise donnie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #donatello headcanons #headcanons #donnie headcanons #rottmnt headcanons #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt donatello #writing #rise donatello #rise headcanons

[burnt-coffeepot]

i've decided that it doesnt matter if i fear i might be transgender just cuz of x

i fear i might be trans just cuz i feel uncomfortable with people treating me as nothing more than a sexy doll, just cuz i feel uncomfortable when people see me and they immediately think about sex.

i am uncomfortable with the thought of female sexual roles being associeted to me in other people's mind, and i want to control this as much as possible.

i am still really uncomfortable with the thought of sex and i dont let myself enjoy my sexual life cuz the shame and the uncomfortableness is just too big.

my friends still are shocked when it comes up and they discover i've been active, i've been the dominant part all the times. cuz they see me and then think about me as a sex doll and i hate it cuz it's not their fault and it's just the way society is built but it's not my fault either and i dont want to be associated with sex in this way.

im not a top, i am a switch, i probably would enjoy partaking in sexual acts in other positions of control, but i dont feel comfortable with what derives from it.

i fear im gonna be treated as a class B citizien Even More.

but being a guy, no one would care. being a guy my personhood would not be diminished because everyone assumes im dominant, so who cares. I feel helpless, and it doesn't help that the people around me comment on my body, on my boobs and my ass all the time to say how fuckable i am.

it all comes down to this, being born a female:

how fuckable i am in the eyes of others.

BUT THERE IS MORE TO WOMANHOOD THAN THIS and i love women and i dont think about sex when i see a pretty woman, even when she's dressed in a way that may lead most to think immediately about sex, i just see a fucking person.

so i dont understand why (in my mind) this applies Only To Me.

only I am perceived the wrong way.

that's why i feel i'd be more comfortable being a boy. and i've been a boy for a while now and I Am much more comfortable, really. But not everyone knows I'm a boy cuz im still stuck dressing in a way that communicates "womanhood" to the people around me.

I am not allowed happyness cuz it doesn't matter how much i try, everything everyone sees when they look at me is a fucking fleshlight that walks.

i feel like i am being denied personhood.

to think about my gender as something totally unrelated to sex for the past years has been so freeing

i have been experimenting: my gender is gaming, my gender is neon colors, my gender is black holes and nebulas, my gender is space pirates, my gender is gayboyfag, my gender is flapping my hands when im excited, my gender is glitter, my gender is an artwork made in paint ms.

this has been a liberating experience

but it's not enough yet

i need to start wearing clothes that match this idea that i have of me in my mind. i would love to be a lesbian too, if it weren't that i am bisexual BUT I STILL WOULD LIKE TO BE A LESBIAN

Like, I Mean if i lived 20 or 30 years ago, i would be rolling with the butches and the femmes, i would have found community with them, i would have started a riot grrrl band.

but i started "pretending" to be a boy on the internet when i was age 13/14, and i dont think that the liberation that i find in being perceived and treated as a boy (or boy adiacent genders) is gonna go away soon

so yeah, i think im transgender, im not an imposter, i really am.

why? cuz thinking about myself as a boy has only made me happier since i've started, and it has helped me get on the path to liberate myself from social pressure about sexuality and behaviour/manners.

if thinking about yourself as X gender makes you happier, EVEN IF YOU DIDNT THINK OF YOURSELF AS X GENDER ALL YOUR LIFE, then by all means i think you should be able to say you are X gender.

Chase happiness

Create Your Self

#trans #transgender #trans thoughts #gender #thoughts on gender #sexuality #tw sex #sexualization #self esteem

[spiderfreedom]

What if I'm wrong?

I think it's healthy to ask the question "what if I'm wrong" as a matter of course. We all get wrapped up in social movements, status, and become so expert at answering dissenters, that it's easy to think we have it all figured out. It's a good question to ask - what are the consequences of my belief system/politics being wrong? and then, if the consequences are serious, how can I move forward and responsibly?

The "what if I'm wrong" question was one of the things that caused me to seriously question my involvement in 'gender affirming medical care.' If I was right about it, then I was helping a group of people with a severe medical illness live lives using a relatively low cost treatment. If I was wrong, I was supporting the sterilization and medical alteration of gender non conforming and neurodiverse people.

As someone who is rad-adjacent, I must also ask myself "what if I am wrong." If I am wrong about the causes of gender dysphoria, then I am complicit in keeping people with dysphoria from a treatment that would help them live their lives.

It's worth noting there's no easy out here. Being wrong in either direction will hurt you - some group of people will be hurt.

I try to remember that because it's way too easy to get swept up in these arguments and talk about the TRAs and how "they" are controlling things and look at this awful person on twitter. One of the most significant questions at hand is about medical treatment.

How do I know if I'm right? I don't know if I'm right, any more than the people on the 'other side' do. I had a set of information that once convinced me medical transition was the right treatment for gender dysphoria; I've since been exposed to information that, at best, problematizes that original information. But there could always be new information that problematizes what I already believe. And how do I know if my reasoning is solid?

I try to read about things that are not gender because frankly, it all drives me mad sometimes and I would prefer to not spiral. When outside commenters (that is, people who are not heavily invested in the TRA take, or the radfem take, or the conservative take) share the same concerns I have regarding the medicalization of children, I find it a sign that, at least, the reasoning that I have used to arrive at that conclusion is not so bizarre that I'm the only one thinking it. Other people have looked at the same information (or similar) and come to similar concerns, and also found the counterarguments unconvincing. It's a sort of sanity test - I am not making an extremely unusual leap in my argumentation.

But this doesn't mean I'm right - it only confirms my suspicion that my suspicions are logically valid and require some answer.

Working in this space involves dealing with uncertainty. Even if I had a change of heart in the middle of the night and went back to posting all the same trans memes and saying I disavow radblr, there would still be a voice in my head, just as there is now - "and what if you're wrong about medical transition?" There is no epistemic stance I can take that will utterly that voice. There are political stances that would make my life more comfortable, but the voice would still nag at me.

The only thing I can do is to make my peace with uncertainty and try to be honest with myself, and not delude myself as to reality because I want something to be true. To not revel in cruelty in the certainty that I Am Right. To be humble both epistemically and socially.

#mypost #feminism #radical feminism #epistemology