#1:11 am thoughts

[marblerose-rue]

click for better quality!

the hush of rain / scourge

#my art #do not copy trace or steal #scourge #warrior cats #wc #waca #wc art #scourge wc #blood #bloodclan #THIS. WAS SO TRICKY TO DO #tried a couple of new things out/drew things ive never rlly drawn before as like a test #and its like. i started late in the night its 1 am rn and i am tired #BUT I JUST FOUND OUT i didnt have homework this weekend and i convinced myself i did so hip hip hooray me #scourge is still one of my fave characters all he did was show up kill and die. good for him #ALL IN ALL i am happy and proud of this piece ^_^ #if i forget anything. please show me mercy #for i am my own worst enemy (drawing after 11 pm) #ANYWAY goodnight and goodmorning but mostly good night #actually hold that thought a little im hungry so goodnight after i figure out what i want to eat #i dont know how to draw puddles i kinda gave up its more prominent in the sketch

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony #anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate #skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant #instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady #then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change #and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again #make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello #i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔 #so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl #anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows. #riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us #bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath #whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage. #why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself #funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that) #anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch #aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck #WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH?????? #i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed #rambles #genshin #childeposting #childe

[uncanny-tranny]

Crochet update: guess who has two thumbs and went through a skein he just bought in three hours and still isn't finished yet (totally not me)

#crochet #art #fiber art #this isn't even for my hoodie this is my filler project while i wait for my hoodie yarn to come back in stock #i thought i lost my crochet hook for a minute and almost died 😨 #this L/11 hook is being loved so much like. it's actually the only hook i've used besides the I/9 one i practiced with #there are only 2.75mm difference in their sized (5.25 vs 8.00) but WOW you can really feel the difference #this filler project is the cat blanket so why did my cat decide to lay NEXT TO THE BLANKET instead of on it 😭 #also the 'guess who has two thumbs and...' saying is just so funny to me #like. why do you need to specify you have two thumbs. what makes you special FOR having two thumbs #alright i'm going back to crocheting my hoodie because i still have one (1) skein right now that i was saving #if they don't have the colour i guess i'll just have to order it (i don't wanna) #actually i'm making up a swatch of different stitches to show my dad because i want to show him visually when i talk about crochet #and THEN i'll get back to my project #actually nvm i hate acrylic yarn i am SO MAD (it's not cooperating with me lmao)

[givehimthemedicine]

tw for more suicide stuff -

also do you ever think about how the way Max (who struggles to express her feelings) was able to crank out very heavy, final-words letters to everyone important to her all in one night makes it seem awfully likely she had a head start on this project?

what's the likelihood that Max already had these letters at least partially mentally drafted as suicide notes that she would (most likely? hopefully?) never really write - and then ended up having to put them to paper after all, just as homicide notes instead?

the Billy letter being last is another indication, I think.

Billy is the root of her depression on multiple levels. she's been ruminating about her guilt for months, yet Billy's is the last letter we see her complete. why would she leave the most mind-consuming one for last?

because his is the only one she had to fully compose on the spot, because she hadn't already worded it in her mind, because he's the one person she wouldn't have had to leave a note for.

#max mayfield #tw suicide #not saying Max was planning anything #but I am saying it seems very likely she's thought through what she would say if she were to write the notes #fr if I had to write (1) death letter to anyone I care about I'd just run out the clock sweating at a blank doc. too much pressure #in my mind there's no other way she could have written 11 (ha) such letters in as many hours #back in my duffers did max dirty era #if youre gonna kill my passively suicidal fave you better have something REALLLL good planned for her arc

[magentagalaxies]

very curious if our society (youtube) has evolved to producing twenty-four-hour length video essays yet. bc ik on average the video essays i watch tend to be around an hour, some shorter some longer but this is my preferred length, 2-3 hours is on the longer side for me but if it's a topic i'm into or a creator i like i'm down for it, longest i've personally watched is 5-ish hours (tho that one was broken up into a lot of smaller segments and not meant to be consumed in one sitting) but i know for a fact there are much longer video essays out there. the longest i've seen in my recommended is eleven hours but i know there must be more out there. what is the video essay event horizon? have we reached "videos of nerds (complimentary) infodumping about niche topics which would take an entire day nonstop to consume"

#yes i am a video essay enjoyer if you couldn't tell #longest video on my ''favorite video essays'' playlist is ''understanding snapewives'' by biz barclay which is just under 3 hours #(10/10 recommend even outside of the fandom history there's a lot of fascinating stuff about religion and how we connect to media) #(and it's very well researched) #i think the longest i've watched is babbity kate's deep dive into the american girl doll ''kirsten'' #which covered every piece of kirsten media ever created and analyzed the historical accuracy #kate's planning on doing a series like this for every american girl doll in release order which i'm excited for #i didn't even like kirsten as a kid but the video was very well done and engaging even if you're not as big of a doll fan as she is #longest i've had recommended to me is ''a brief retrospective of the simpsons' golden age'' which is ELEVEN HOURS #but i'm very tempted to watch it bc i am a simpsons nerd and it seems to be divided into smaller essays season by season #i think i saw a tumblr post about a fnaf lore video essay that was ridiculously long but idk if that was longer than 11 hours #i should also make a poll about preferred video essay length bc idk if my opinion is the majority #most of my favorites are 45 minutes to 1 hour 30 minutes. if it's too short (like less than 20 minutes) i'll skip it #(unless it's a creator i like who wanted to put out something short between big projects) #and if it's too long (over 3 hours) i have to be in the right mood even tho it'll probably be multiple sittings to finish it #(again unless it's a creator and topic i like and it's something i've been waiting to hear their thoughts on)

[the-halfling-prince]

Crying while reading the 11th How To Train Your Dragon book because,

Five years after I read this book the first time, I finally understand Snotlout.

I read this book the first time when I was twelve, almost thirteen. A few days before I turned thirteen, and at the time, I didn't understand why everyone in the fandom talked about being upset when this guy died. "He was awful," I'd say, a twelve year old kid who was relentlessly bullied just like Hiccup, "He was horrible. How can you all feel bad for him?"

And of course he was awful. Of course he was horrible. But just now, just a few minutes before I started typing this, I understood.

This kid (Kid. He was 16-17, roughly. My age) was told for years that he was the hero. He was the important one. And suddenly Hiccup comes along and he feels useless, like he isn't important anymore.

Then fucking Alvin comes along and is going to become king, and Excellinor banishes Stoick along with Hiccup and suddenly Snotlout is going to be chief of the Hooligans. He's finally going to be what everyone told him he was going to be. He knew what they were doing was bad but he didn't think about that. What was going on through his mind was that he was finally going to get what he deserved.

A quick note, again, that he was still in the wrong. None of this excuses that, it just explains why.

So then people like his father, and his teacher, and the former chief tell him that he's not the man they hoped he'd turn out to be. He's on the wrong side of this war. And he does think... what do I do? What side should I be on? Again, might I add, that this KID is AROUND SIXTEEN YEARS OLD.

The sword fight scene was where I started crying. He wants Hiccup to hate him so badly. He doesn't want to be forgiven, he wants to be angry, he doesn't want to stop and think about his actions. He finally had what he always wanted but at what cost? So much was ruined for him all because of this hiccup in fate. Yes, he was chief, but everyone hated him. He told Hiccup that he wanted to be king but that nobody would follow him.

So he wants to help Hiccup win now.

And this is where I started sobbing.

Snotlout wants to help Hiccup win.

And he tells Hiccup the plan. Hiccup isn't too sure about the plan, but Snotlout says to him, and I'm quoting directly from page 289 here, "Listen, you're always hogging the limelight, Hiccup, but you know what? It's my turn to be the hero."

He says, "So next time I see Gobber he will know that I am a hero after all. My father will be proud of me. They will all be proud of me."

...

He knew he was going to die.

Alvin says as Snotlout starts singing, "He knows he's trapped. That's Grimbeard the Ghastly's Last Song he is singing there. He knows he is trapped and he is going down fighting."

And I believe that fully.

In the final chapters of book 11 and it's epilogue, we know that Snotlout's father and Gobber and Stoick hated him. They thought he was a traitor, even as he was dying, because of course they didn't know. They didn't know. What they saw was Hiccup dying because of Snotlout's betrayal. They didn't see what we saw: Snotlout dying so Hiccup could continue on.

But Snotlout knew that they would see the black star medal around Hiccup's neck, and that they would understand. They would finally see him as the hero they told him he would be a long time ago. He knew there was no redemption for him other than the path he chose.

And I understand.

#httyd books #abe rereads httyd #my posts #I am not getting emotional over this character that I swore I would never feel bad for nope definitely not #😭😭 #Not sure if this is completely coherent or is it makes any sense to y'all but #Idk I'm not editing this at all have fun deciphering my tear-stained thoughts #I'm not even gonna put this in my queue for people to read at a reasonable time of day it is 1:42 as of my finishing this let's go let's po #st this in the middle of the night #httyd book 11

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

Into The Bright Open

younger-YA secret garden retelling

follows a privileged but emotionally neglected girl who’s sent to live with the uncle she’s never met in rural Ontario after her parents die

she becomes friends with the Indigenous housekeepers and locals, and her younger cousin - who’s kept in the attic because of her health by an abusive stepmother

#Into The Bright Open #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #sapphic books #I enjoyed this! it’s quite..narratively simple I guess. but there’s some interesting things for sure #i am not intimately familiar with the secret garden and there’s def a bunch of reviews that r like. this is nothing like that!!!!11!!1 #so ymmv #but as far as a story about an unlikable girl getting freedom from so called society and friends for the first time #and being able to find her true self…. yknow i thought it was quite good #to listen to the audiobook anyway #also i only noticed the beadwork on the cover afterwards that's kinda cool

[whump3000]

Whumptober No. 1- Nicholas

The whispers in the boy's head told him that he was awake, but the fear in his heart told him to go back to sleep. The echoes of their voices shrieked at him, telling him to get the fuck up, but all he could do was lay on his side, struggling to find the courage to admit that he was alive.

Courage started with opening his eyes, letting them adjust to the hazy light of a single phosphorescent bulb. It flickered softly, the walls of his enclosure glimmering softly in the light. The boy let out a quiet moan and tried to push himself to his feet, but found it hard to do as the floor yawned wide, opening up and swallowing him whole.

The second time awake, he kept his head still long enough to make out his surroundings. He was in some sort of giant gaudy bird cage, that groaned and creaked as he moved, a feat, easier said than done. His body burned with pain as his brain begged for him to lie back down again. He made himself keep walking, a sort of sickly shuffle from one side of his enclosure to the other, feeling. There was a bandaged hole through his ribcage, and another in his arm. His wrists stung with rope-burns, and his wings felt heavy and sticky-- he was too afraid to see what with. The spiral staircase beneath him wavered unsteadily, as he wracked his mind, trying to remember.

Something in the stairs was humming. Or perhaps someone. He thought he heard the quiet notes of something vaguely melodic. Slowly, he peeked his head between the bars of his enclosure, looking down into the swirling abyss.

"Nicholas?" A gentle voice called out. "Are you awake?"

The boy swallowed. He felt something in his throat. "Who's Nicholas?"

"You are."

"Nicholas." The syllables tasted funny in his mouth. He supposed he had a name after all, though he was sure this one wasn't his. He paused, but the darkness did not yield a second answer. "Nicholas." He whispered. "I guess you can call me Nicholas."

#whumptober 2023 #no.1 #swooning #oc #fic #fainting #injuries #amnesia #non human whumpee #winged whumpee #whumpee #whump thoughts #whump blog #yes i am posting this at 11:40pm #this is fine #everything is fine #my first whumptober of the season #hope y'all enjoy

[luzura-the-princess-witch]

Y’all ever just come up with some crazy shit to make drinking more fun?

Like I’ll have some cranberry juice and pretend it’s red wine and I’m a monarch sitting sluttily on an ornately hand carved dark oak throne drinking to sooth my worries and pondering how to get my kingdom out of debt.

I’m holding my warm mug of fresh tea with honey. In my mind I’m an ancient witch sitting inside my greenhouse, watching two frogs hop merrily together outside. I think fondly on the times when I took evening sunlit strolls with a blonde-haired maiden who stole my heart.

I’m drinking a glass of orange juice. After a 16 year journey through space I finally reached the once thought desolate planet, and found it teeming with life. But I knew the nature of mankind, to destroy. I write a false log claiming the planet exponentially uninhabitable, and am taking the knowledge to my grave. I slowly sip on the toxic neon orange poison I found deep in a cavern, waiting patiently for it to consume me. Thoughts of the life, the family I left behind for the advancement of humanity. But now I throw myself in between humanity and a possible golden age, because I know what happens after the golden age.

I drink milk and I’m a c a t and I ✨lick✨

#i wrote this exactly 11 months ago #at 1:00 am #how do i even tag this? #cats #cosie thoughts☁️ #part ??? to my series cosie posts at 1:00 am #drinking #but not alcohol #shitpost #my posts

[lordsardine]

.

#well you see at the cafe for writing group. i didnt work on my MG novel like i should have #i re-read all of the adult novel and made edits. all 45k words worth #then i felt bad for not working on the MG novel when i got home at 11 and thought 'oh the edits dont look like much let me know them out!' #now at 1:30 AM. the 'short edits' turned into re-writing the entire chapter -__- but we're done #miscellaneous #the adult novel i had major writer's block on and then turned and wrote like a maniac the 57k fanfic in a single fucking month #and then after said fanfic my writing motivation crashed and burned and for a while i felt lost with it #but im finally back into a groove with my original work #it felt good to re-read the adult novel and be like 'damn what i do have is good' #and it felt good to get these edits done for the MG novel #idk uh what the lesson is here but writing a 57k fanfic in the span of a single month was not the most Fantastic thing for my mental health #but you know it's done and out there and on the third page overall for this pairing so at least i did something right with it #Anyway. need to wind down now

[smol-bean-boi13]

Has anyone ever thought about how Raph is literally a slice of sharp cheddar just WAITING to smack someone in the face

#no? #just me? #ok #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #rottmnt raph #smols shitposts #thoughts at 11 #but is 1 #(am)

[pochapal]

that's the end of 1-6 which means that at long last i have finished rereading the episode 1 chapters i didn't have notes for!! ^_^

#:) #i could also reread 1-7 through 1-10 on here but i think you guys already have enough of my detailed thoughts on those chapters as is #so unless there's overwhelming demand for that for some reason i am now free and able to go back to the 1-10 writeup #and finally finally start 1-11

[solarisgod]

First Light by Hozier? Micahcore as fuck!

#SPOILERS CW #/// #// #/ #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ THOUGHTS . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH . › #[ ✨ : I M SO.... .. . . . . . .. . . ] #[ one bright morning goes so easy / darkness always finds you either way / it creeps into the corners as the moment fades ] #[ a voice your body jumps to calling out your name / but after this I'm never gonna be the same / and I am never going back again ] #[ DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND THE VIBES... THE CONNECTIONS... THE * starts having a breakdownfkdsfdskmdnIR390U5849TY7RFDJ84eiunsjdg * ] #[ WHAT A BLESSING THIS ALBUM IS TRULY ] #[ and a greater blessing to have it end with one of the most Micahcore songs eeeveeerrrrrrrrrrrr!11!!!!!! !1! ] #[ gonna make a graphic edit based on this song eventually for REAL... ]

[keepinit-g]

I be thinking of the most nastiest shit in my head. I wanna do things i know I'm not supposed to do 🤭

#naughty thoughts #1:11 am #pussy talk

[mrfoox]

Uh. Like month... 4... Without an big breakdown and im 😳 what.... Wha

#miranda talking shit #I always say this but holy shit what the fuck i didnt think medication could have so much impact #I thought be being numb would be the best case. But here i am like 👍 life's not so bleak. I have loved ones. There's more for me to see #Like what the fuck.... Ive been sucidal since i was 11... I thought that would just be permanent for me... That it would kill me one day #But here i am just.... Like...living? #I mean im still not living life to the fullest mainly bc im still not used to just ... Be and not feel like garbage #I still have many problems and inner battles but they don't .... Send me into the abyss or worse #Anti medication people can probably argue if im ACTUALLY happy or just high of my meds or something but i... #I just feel like myself but ...kinda like when you put on glasses after being without them for a while #You see things clearer again and you had forgotten that your eyes were bad #I see the same things who would make me smile for 1 second. Now i see them and they make me smile for half a minute or more #I feel i think a lot more and notice smaller things. Smaller delights. A little cute bug flying by. An pretty flower outside. Someone #Laughing with their friend. A child playing outside. They all make me happy now and i just ... Yeah. #I am not the most positive person alive or am super happy all the time... But having actual ... Normal days #Actually be just... Just fine. Not 'i have managed to not cry and kept my mental health in check somewhat etc' but actually just #Things are fine. On an scale more in tune with others version if fine. Im used to my okay days just being like... Oh i was awake today #I ate a meal today. I didn't cry. But i still had my usual bad mental space but it was fine bc it was a bit more manageable #That was a fine day. Now I'm like... Id describe my days now as great days. I usually have one or two of these days #Per year ... Now i have them like daily... Theyre just fine. It blows my mind... #Ive always been positive to medication despite not finding one that helped me as much as i... Wanted. But now it's like #Holy shit yeah. Wish i found this medicine at age 15 when i started and not 10 years later but man im glad i finally found it #So glad i decided not to just settle with the one i had. When i brought up i wanted to try new medication again #Doctors were like what... But why? And it's like.... Yeah that one i had was.... The best i had found at the time and i had kept it for 3 #Years. But it did only help me to stabilize some. I still felt like garbage... And explaining that to a doctor is like... Idk how to do that #Like id say my old medication helped 25% i know it helped mostly with my general anxiety. But it wasn't like to a point i felt #It was a GOOD medication for me. Just ... It was the best i had tried so... It was fine...

[sugaroto]

The bad thing about having a sleepover with my lil cousins is that they woke up at like 7:20 or something but the good thing is that we watched megamind last night

#the thing is that last time those two had a sleepover the boy couldn't sleep and he wanted to go home at like 1 am #(we all live close so the other older cousin watched him walk home) #but when my aunt woke up she freaked out cause he was missing and they didn't tell her cause he didn't want to wake her up #anyways #so i kinda expected someone to wake up at night and need something #but they didn't #but cause i was worried i woke up at like 4am and at the time i had completely forgotten they were here but realized they were here cause of #the light and the fact that my door was open #so then i fell back asleep again and saw them in my dream and we were having a sleepover at his house instead #and i woke up again by my mom at like 6 cause she was getting ready for work #and then at 7 i heard them whispering and thought #huh i need to wake up. they're up. i must feed them👁👄👁 #btw they're like 9 and 11 years old #also i have a haircut less than an hour and the girl will come with for company #but the boy doesn't wanna walk that far so he'll stay here and watch 2j on YouTube or something #cause he doesn't have keys for his house i think #sugarenia talks #sugarenia has family #sugarenia cousins