#100k times that dean an Cas fell in love

[headoverheelsforyoucas]

In summary:

#destiel #castiel #supernatural #dean winchester #destiehellers #deancas #destiel is canon #misha the unproblematic king #misha fucking collins #i love misha #misha speaks #I believe in top!cas supremacy #top!cas #destiel 100k #100k destiel fics #100k times that dean an Cas fell in love

[jewishcharliebradbury]

post-confession/finale fic recs

here’s a masterpost of all the best post-confession and finale fix-it deancas fics i’ve read so far

i’ve organized them into sections based on the last three episodes they largely pull from, plus ones for my absolute faves, finale compliant fics (i’m a finale denier but there are some worth reading), and nebulously post-canon/s15 fics. 

other supernatural fic recs

i’ll keep updating it with any other good fics i come across so keep an eye out for that! the most recently added ones will have a ‘+’ in front (last update: 1/2/2022)

ultimate faves:

my heart a compass - really good ‘the empty traps cas in memories and dean breaks through with the power of love (and jack/magic/etc)’ fic.

according to all known laws of life - listen i love and appreciate emotional/romantic post-confession fics but dean and cas are horrible old repressed bastards (lovingly) sometimes and that’s fun.

Nothing Equals the Splendor  - the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest - finale (derogatory) compliant but its worth it for all you sexy sexy j*hn haters out there.

The Goldenrod Revisions - no less than five alternate episodes in script format post 15x18, the ultimate fixit that leaves no dropped character or  plotpoint untouched.

the monster at the start of this book - what if the REAL horror part of the horror show was the inescapable heteronormative metanarrative constructed by a cruel voyeuristic god? finale compliant/no happy ending but makes my brain bounce around in my head like a pinball.

ascend - what was written CAN be undone and it IS a love story, not a tragedy!

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d’s to the destination) - 100k+ word reverse confession/dean character study/fix-it fic my beloved.

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees) - canon divergent widower arc-turned- reverse confessions/fixit fic.

Fenario - THEE lake house fic.

if it all fell to pieces tomorrow - cas recovers from his trauma after getting saved from the empty by himself.

Fracture Mechanics - dean slowly processes his grief and relationship with/feelings for cas over time, cas comes back with no memory of the confession, and there’s a good old fashioned soulbond™.

+and you can use my skin - placeholder description is just. ouugh.

post confession:

When the Levee Breaks - gen/1.8k. episode coda/fix-it, the empty gets annoyed by dean and cas’ feelings.

Because it is - mature/6k.  chuck’s death doesn’t fix anything and sam and dean have to try and cope with this for a very long time.

the best of things - gen/2k. cas escapes the empty.

For Good -teen/6k. episode coda, dean repairs his relationship with jack, cas doesn’t come back but the ending is hopeful.

In Just Saying It - gen/2.5k. post series, cas is back as a human and they celebrate his first real birthday.

To Change the Things We Can - gen/2k. confession scene fix-it.

The Having - teen/3k. cas is trapped in his worse memories, dean finds a loophole in the empty’s deal.

to the bone - mature/4k. dean tries to make a deal of his own with the empty.

Everything is Blue - teen/5k. episode coda/fix-it, the key to saving cas lies in the barn he and dean first met.

Enhanced Extraction Techniques - teen/5.8k the empty messes with cas by pretending to be dean trying to save him.

hold onto your voice, hold onto your breath - teen/7k. Dean makes a deal with the empty, orpheus/eurydice-meets-the little mermaid style.

There'll be peace (when you are done) - teen/2k. Chuck’s latest book sucks.

+ Begging and Praying, Christ I'm on My Knees - fixit where the confession - and certain other parts of late spn - are the same but slightly to the left.

post 15x19:

Bring Home* - gen/3.8k. cas comes back, but he doesn’t go to the bunker.

the rhyme of salvation - teen/6k. jack turns dean into an angel so he can save cas from the empty.

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now) - mature/27k. kaia and dean go on a roadtrip after claire disappears.

closer (isn't close enough) - explicit/18k. cas helps dean cope with some of his chuck-induced trauma and dean tries to talk about the confession.

for which no words exist - teen/14k. dean helps cas recover from the ritual used to bring him back.

We will not give up on love now - teen/4.8k. dean starts finding unusual feathers around the bunker.

to make a beginning - teen/9.k. jack isn’t god but still helps dean bring cas back, ending is pure domestic/found family vibes.

nothing has to change- teen/27k. jack decides to be much less hands off, cas is saved and dean slowly tries to work through repression.

The World at Large - teen/5k. sam gets in touch with his inner witch and dean tries to get though to cas.

Take My Hurting Heart (Away From Me) - mature/8k. god!jack goes back to the bunker with them and helps them rescue cas.

freedom - gen/5k. Dean makes a choice and saves cas with the power of love.

safe returns - gen/1.7 k. The handprint™ = their red strong of fate.

Speak Silence No More - teen/8k. dean saves cas from the empty but thinks that he hates/no longer loves him since he had to become human to do so.

One does not simply walk into the Empty - teen/7k. dean saves cas from the empty orpheus-and-eurydice style.

the point of our being - mature/11k. cas makes another deal with the empty while dean, sam and eileen try to find a way to rescue him.

who will fall beside you, if you fall - gen/4k, post 15x19. Introspection on some of the different ways dean’s been loved throughout his life and how its changed him.

psalm 40:2 - explicit/45k. cas gets sent back in time instead of being trapped in the empty and encounters pre-series dean. tw for internalized homophobia/homophobia/child abuse.

+one step closer - teen/4k. dean explores the empty on his way to save cas. REALLY cool trueforms and worldbuilding stuff.

+Love Languages - teen/9k. cas thinks dean doesn’t reurn his feelings, dean just can’t say it with words.

finale fix-its:

Grace - 5k. script format, dean breaks into the empty after dying in that barn.

A Serious Thing - teen/1k. barn death scene fix-it.

There's Something About Jenny - teen/9k. jenny the vampire messes with the timeline, cas fixes it and restores the real ending.

Keep Your Love Alive - explicit/42k. au where the empty takes dean instead of cas.

we could be the way forward - mature/7k, cas saves dean from dying and the rest of the episode was just a weird dream.

Can't Fight This Feeling - teen/9k. script format, after meeting in heaven sam and dean realize they’re still in chuck’s story.

things happen (they do, they do, and they do) - explicit/28k. cas comes back from the empty and dean is very very sad that he’s tragically straight and can’t possibly return his feelings.

swimming with the fish pond fish -explicit/25k. after they get out of heaven and go back to earth, dean’s insane levels of repression/denial are threatened when cas keps casually telling him that he loves him.

Heartstring Promenade - explicit/17k (WIP). The finale was just a bad dream, all their friends are back and happy, and dean finds a way to get to cas using death’s library.

hope, love, glory - teen/13k. claire and jack team up to save the day!

the lover's choice - mature/44k. jack saves dean and cas, actually addresses the super-fucked afterlife system, and brings back some beloved characters chuck killed off too soon before calling it quits as god.

The Shape of Things to Come - mature/62k. after getting trapped in an updated 'what is and what never should be’ style djinn dream, dean is forced to directly face all the cas-related emotions he’s been suppressing. things get more complicated when he starts getting strange dreams where cas is trying to tell him something over the phone.

+debrief - teen/2k. sam and cas (rightfully, because what the hell. yes its been over a year but what the hell) yell at dean after saving him in the barn.

finale/heaven endgame compliant

blunt little instrument - mature/4k. dean confronts his dad in heaven.

A Timeshare in Paradise - teen/1.4k. cas and cas meet up at the roadhouse after sam’s arrival.

search for tomorrow on every shore - teen/11k. dean temporarily gets kicked out of heaven and finds himself face to face with his 24 year old past self.

Fuck Around and Find Out - mature/7k. cas hunts john for sport in heaven.

although we are faithless - mature/32k. sam and dean realize they’re trapped in a heaven memory loop and bust out, while in the meantime the damage done to the empty puts both afterlives on the verge of collapse (kind of a finale fixit hybrid/heaven endgame hybrid).

misc post canon/s15

Twenty ways to say I love you - teen/14k. dean has many different ways to tell cas he loves him.

I won't Going Out Swinging - teen/4k. dean starts out on his post-chuck life.

on vessels - gen/2k. cas used to imagine what it would be like to have dean as his vessel.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad.

Through Autumn's Advancing - explicit/4k. dean’s birthday celebration fic.

dean's coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda - teen/4k. none of dean’s coworkers know the truth about his family.

It's Not Traditional - teen/1.5k. proposal fic. 

Yarrow, Lilac, and Foxglove - explicit/10k. dean and cas garden, cook, possibly befriend a nature spirit, and get married.

What didn’t kill you - explicit/20k. After chuck everyone is human and happy, eileen and sam get married, and dean and cas try and figure out what they should do next.

Exit Wounds - mature/16k. cas dies defeating chuck, dean retires and buys a bar while dealing with hallucinations.

we’ll find a new home - gen/7k. costco confession fic!

sobriety & apple pie & religion, oh my! - gen/3k. stanford era dean meets a time displaced post-series dean.

If Someone Asks, This Is Where I'll Be - gen/1k. post canon proposal fic (from 2013).

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) - teen/2k. soft moments from a post-chuck world.

you're fooling yourself - teen/13k. dean and cas are retired and raising baby!jack, “platonically.”

Lessons in Botany - teen/1k. Just a nice domestic morning with some sam and jack.

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) - teen/20k. Everyone celebrates jack’s 4th birthday and they take him to build-a-bear!

strap the wing to me - gen/2k. cas has no filter when it comes to his feelings for dean anymore.

Death of the Author - explicit/7k. they have s*x for the first time. 

On Labor - explicit/24k. dean is so unwell/repressed/terrified of losing cas again that he lies about his feelings for him (or at least he thinks he is). fics to touch a hot stove to but it has a happy ending dw.

Amphorae - mature/4k. more soft epilogue™ fic.

three little words - mature/3k. saying “i love you” comes with some pretty signifigant emotional baggage.

The One I Love -  gen/1k. cas struggles with emotional trauma from losing his grace with dean’s help.

the pie isn’t a metaphor (it’s just pie) - teen/9k. dean and cas are domestic and make a pie (feat. actual pie recipie!).

fools and pilgrims - teen/32k. cas and jack leave and dean and claire go on a roadtrip to see them and figure some stuff out along the way.

Phone a Friend - gen/7k. pov of two hunters interacting with the hunter community years after the show.

call it what you want - 5k/mature. dean’s brain breaks a little when someone assumes he and cas are married (also cas is a plant dad).

take the bones, begin anew - mature/87k/wip. dean ends up uhaulling with cas when they move in to kelly’s old lake house.

In a time, in a place, we fit - teen/5k. alex’s pov of her friends, family, and a very revamped hunting community post-canon.

in full bloom - teen/2k. dean starts bringing cas flowers and helps him start a garden.

+Now We’re There, And We’ve Only Just Begun - teen/6k. jack is a baby instead of god, and dean and cas have a much needed conversation about breaking the cycle of abuse and trauma.

+the carrier bag theory - teen/6k. cas starts recovering traumatic old memories.

+Socks For Your Birthday Is Something That Can Actually Be So Personal - gen/1k. deans bday fic.

+The Mixtape, Or: Six Things You Learn in Thursday School - teen/6k. You know those old future!fics where the winchester gospels actually became a big thing and impacted the future of civilization and religion? this is the updated version of that.

+all the time in the world - teen/2k. sam’s bday fic.

#deancas #im SO bad at descriptions I’m sorry :/ #fic recs #finale #destiel #spn #fic #mine #pop

[interrogatethecat]

WE DID IT!!! CONGRATS ON 100K DEANCAS FANFICS, EVERYONE!!

here’s a lil drabble to celebrate :) tag list is under the cut

“He was wrong, you know,” Cas says one night, out of the blue. They’re washing dishes in the kitchen, Dean with his hands full of soap and Cas with a towel in hand.

Dean hums noncommittally, turning his head to look at his angel. “What?”

“Chuck,” Cas clarifies. “Chuck was wrong. He said that this was the only universe where I fell for you. It’s not.”

“What do you mean?” Dean isn’t sure why they’re talking about this, or what Cas is talking about. Chuck had seemed pretty certain.

“I got a congratulatory email today from Becky Rosen,” Cas says, drying off a plate.

“Becky?” Dean repeats.

“Yes, Becky. She sent me a link. Apparently, there are 100,000 online stories with us as a couple,” Cas says.

“Cas, that’s fanfiction,” Dean says.

“And 100,000 different universes where we fall in love,” Cas says.

Dean rolls his eyes, handing Cas another dish. “You’re getting sappy, sweetheart.”

“Perhaps I am,” Cas agrees, smiling fondly, “but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. In 100,000 worlds, I’d choose you.”

Soapy hands or not, Dean cradles Cas’ face and kisses him.

“I’d choose you, too,” he says. They stay like that, foreheads pressed together.

Somewhere else, in some other universe, Cas is behind a counter blushing vividly as Dean flirts with him before getting his coffee. They’re dancing in an apartment as the rest of the world ceases to exist. They’re touching each other hungrily, making up for lost time. They’re kissing giddily in the rain, Dean fisting a trench coat while Cas brings his hands up to frame Dean’s face. They’re in Vegas, drunk on liquor and love as they stand in a chapel.

100,000 universes, and in every one, they choose each other.

Chuck can keep his stories. He can keep his badly written drafts and brothers-only narrative.

Cannon is their bitch now, and they’re in love, 100,000 times over.

tag list: @ccstiel @starrynightdeancas @floral-cas @castielsbeeslippers @ezikira @gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat @fellshish @bestiarum @top13zepptraxx @linaraiscorner @theedorksinlove @destiel-is-canon-i-guess @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie

let me know if you want to be added or removed!

#deancas100k #ao3 #my writing #my fic #destiel #spn #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural

[fangirling221b]

Dear Mish

(I shouldn't probably address you like that. That nickname should be sacred - meant for the people who love you the most. But anyways it's you who taught us to break rules.)

I started watching supernatural for the very purpose of discovering Destiel. Yeah yeah, I have a thing for shows with complex relationships between men which are never resolved. I couldn't wait for the three seasons to finish so that I could finally watch cas enter through those barn doors, and into my life. And probably never leave again.

I could go on and on about how much I love Cas and how much that one angel means to me but this letter will probably not suffice. Besides this is about you, the closest we have to a real angel in this world.

I was never the one to swoon over celebrities and make my life about that one actor or actress who will never even know me. But you are something different. Mish, you are so much more than any celebrity. To me, and to all of us who just fell in love with the angel of the lord only to discover that the actor was so so much more.

I've been a fan for a fairly shorter period of time but that was all it took to start obsessing over the show, and of course, you. It's not about your perfect face or ocean blue eyes or even the tens of versions of your voice we've witnessed. It's in the little things, in the beautiful, beautiful smile of yours that is known for having such an effect on us. Believe me when I say looking at you smile makes us smile. It's in the jokes you make that have Jensen rolling on the floor, it's how you talk at the conventions- as if you're narrating an old story to even older friends, it's how you embrace your flaws and have no practical filter when it comes to saying things that matter.

It's how you're an idea. An inspiration. You're something good that reflects in never ending waves.

It's how you understand your fandom and respect them more than we even deserve. It's when you tell us to write our own ending, it's when you celebrate dean and cas having 100k fanfics written about them. It's when you give meaning to the spnfamily by sharing your innermost stories meant only for best friends. It's when you post cas with rainbow wings celebrating with pride the truth everyone tried to cover and deny but they couldn't. Because you, not very much unlike cas were the one real character that broke out of narration, that wrote his own story, that embraced the beauty of what people call love.

And thank you Mish, thank you for giving us Castiel. Characters will come and go, there will be new shows, some will be better some will be worse. The universe won't stop writing and celebrating fiction. But there will never ever be another Cas, another angel of the lord, who, by the mere mention of his name in a thousand different alternate universe versions can reduce us to tears, can make us happy from within, can make us beg to the lord to bring him back, sob his name if he gets hurt and scream with ecstasy when he finally gets the happiness he deserves. Castiel is here to stay. And never to leave.

Thank you for being you. The crazy weird chaotic energy of yours, the loving nature and the helping hands that have decided to fix this broken world one act of kindness at a time, for teaching us to be ourselves, letting us have fun while changing the world, for never giving a fudge to what people think, for inspiring us to be better, for naming a goddamn star after us, for being our best friend we don't fear saying anything to, for the legendary 15×18 confession scene we still haven't really processed. Thank you Misha. Thank you for everything.

A very Happy Birthday to you, the Dmitri Tippens Krushnic, the Overlord, the Misha Collins, the best friend of ours in all of the world. All I can wish for you is a bright and beautiful future and thank the lord and every other force of the universe that made it so that I exist at a time where you do too.

With Love,

spnfamily.

P.S. I Love You. And will, always.

P.P.S Even when you get old and saggy.

#Misha birthday #misha collins #misha #spnfamily

[billiewena]

for the 100k fic celebration, here a portion of the “what if 10x05 had a sastiel agenda?” AKA lil shit sam/jealous dean destiel fic I first shared a while back! been having a lot of fun basically rewriting and expanding on the entire musical episode with new songs (and lots of cute kristen & siobhan moments because OF COURSE they’re still a couple.) it was really encouraging to see the positive response to it back then and it's been taking forever because of work/other writing but I’m so excited to have this one be the first full-length fics I ever post.

It starts with costumed teenagers locked in a tight embrace with absolutely no room for Jesus.

“What are they doing?”

Marie glances over her shoulder for only a brief second.

“Kids these days call it hugging,” she says slowly. Geez, it would’ve been less insulting for her to just outright say Wow, you’re old.

Except it’s not just any of the show’s stars hugging over there. One of them is the “Dean” who’d been mid-rehearsal when they arrived and looked more like Bieber than him with the blonde wig. And the other? Well, he would recognize that Columbo coat anywhere.

“Is that in the show?” he asks, pointing their way.

Marie quickly shakes her head at the accusation. “Oh, no. Siobhan and Kristen are a couple in a real life.”

He nods and lower his hand. Got it. That’s all it was. Everything’s fine. Nothing to worry about—

“No, my play explores the nature of Sastiel.”

“The — wait, what?” he says, confused at once.

“Sastiel?” Marie pauses, giving him a second to figure it out. He doesn’t. “You know, the relationship between Sam and Castiel?”

Dean blinks.

“Sam and…C-Cas?”

“I know, I know. Edlund’s series never finished. I’m lucky I got these drafts. Ugh, it’s Midnight Sun all over again. But the love story is all in the subtext,” she says with confidence. “Can you believe there are people who still think Destiel is endgame? After everything that happened after the angels fell? After Gadreel? Please.”

He silently sounds out the word. Des-tiel? Wait…

“Ever since Cas came back from the dead and took on Sam’s pain, I knew. I just knew. Every one of their arcs had been parallel to each other’s from their fall from grace to the trials. And now with Dean gone, all they have…is each other.”

Marie sighs. “Besides, you can’t spell subtext without S-E-X.”

He coughs and nearly chokes on an asteroid-sized lump in his throat.

“I…uh. Yeah, th-that’s not…you know, I think I’ve seen enough,” Dean says with a forced smile. “Thank you for your, ah, time. I’ll, uh, we’ll follow up if we have questions about the missing persons case. I—alright.”

And with that he purses his lips, turns on his heel and walks away — nearly tripping over one of the stage chords as he does. Why are there are so many of them anyways? This is just some all-girls school production, not the goddamn West End.

He finds Sam in his natural nerd habitat (the tech booth) sifting through all the bins of A/V supplies.

“Yeah, not to interrupt the blast from the past here but it’s time for us to go,” he says, patting the door.

His brother shoots him an annoyed look but packs up and follows him out all the same. Not that Dean bothers to wait for him; no, he makes a beeline for the car as soon as he leaves the booth.

“Hey, what’s with the rush?” Sam calls after him as he runs to catch up with him at the school entrance.

“No rush,” he says shortly. “Just wanted to see what you found out before you got too lost in the nerd sauce over there.”

He doesn’t need to look back to know he’s on the receiving end of a Classic Sam Bitchface right now and continues to stomp his way through the parking lot.

“Well, no EMF, no hex bags. None of their props are remotely hinky. Talked to Maeve and all those extras in the auditorium.” Sam finally catches up and walks side-by-side with him now. “You have any more luck?”

“Nah. Ms. Chandler's office is just a pile of empty bottles and regret. She's probably just face down in a bar somewhere. Or a ditch. I did get to hear all about the director’s, ah, creative vision though,” Dean says, teeth gritted. “Apparently we go into space, I become a woman, and there’s even ninjas and robots!”

“Robots. Huh. Well, that’d definitely be a new one.”

“There’s no robots in Supernatural—”

“I-I know that,” Sam says in exasperation. “I just mean it’s, y’know, innovative. And Dean we’ve fought weirder. Remember the teddy bear? The fairies? The ballet shoes?”

“Well, you just wait until you hear about what she in store for you, Lover Boy,” he says.

And that makes Sam do an instant double-take.

“Uh, Lover Boy?”

“Yeah, your number one fan back there —” he says, gesturing back towards the school, “— was telling me all about the play’s, uh, love story between you and Cas. You got something you’ve been meaning to tell me or what?”

“The love story? Wait, what do you mean me and Cas?”

Dean scoffs, already in utter disbelief of the words he was about to say. “Like you and Cas, together. Together together? Romance of the ages the way she made it sound. Apparently it’s all in her play!”

To his surprise though, Sam just… laughs. “Well, I mean hey, that’s an improvement from the ones who wrote about me and you.”

“You got that right,” he agrees with a shudder. Meeting one Becky the Stalker was bad enough. Knowing she wasn’t alone and that she had an audience made it even worse. “She even had a portmanteau for you, dude. Like you’re some celebrities in a grocery store tabloid. Sass-tiel.”

“Sass-tiel?” He seems to seriously consider it but shrugs. “I don’t know. What about… Samstiel? CasSam? Cam? Mmm, maybe not that…”

Dean groans. “Really? That’s your issue with this?”

“Of course it’s not my issue,” Sam says. He stays pensive for a few more seconds until chuckling again to himself this time, as if he’s the only one in on a private joke. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Cas is great but…”

“Not your type?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam says. No, it’s definitely more than that and he’s doing a piss-poor job of hiding his amused expression.

Dean turns and stares him down. “What?”

“I dunno,” he says, his smirk fully visible now. “I just think it’s funny they’re pairing me up with Cas when the one with the ‘profound bond’ with him is right there.”

“Oh, haha. You’re hilarious,” Dean retorts at once.

“Hey man, I’m not the one who stayed in Purgatory for a year to find him.”

His glare takes on a murderous edge.

“Okay. You know what? You’re going to do that thing where you just shut the hell up! Forever!”

Sam holds up his hands in either what’s either a show of innocence or surrender.

“Alright, alright. Well, other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all I got nothing.”

“So…what?” Dean says. “This-this all... This whole musical thing, everything, it's... it's all a coincidence? There is no case?”

“Unless you're seeing something I'm not, no, Dean. There's no case here,” he says sincerely this time.

“Come on. This has classic Trickster vibes all over it.” He almost wants to turn around and start yelling, Come on out Gabriel you bastard!

“Trickster’s dead, man. And he wasn’t just a trickster, he was an archangel. And they’re all gone too.”

“Could be a lower-rank angel?” Dean tries. “I mean, Zachariah pulled off an entire apocalypse world. And that place where we were both corporate drones. Before you know it, this’ll get all Buffy and it’ll be me and you singin’ and dancin’—“

“Dean…I think it’s just fans. Look, as long as they’re not putting another love spell on one of us I couldn’t really care less what they’re doing,” Sam says with some bitterness, clearly not looking back at that particular memory with any fondness. “Just writing some songs? I mean, it’s innocent enough.”

“Oh yeah, so innocent,” he scoffs. “They’re singing about our dead parents, your demon blood bender, the apocalypse, all of it! This is just…it’s make-believe for them! But it’s our lives!”

Sam runs a tired hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t get it either man. I wasn’t exactly thinking about the books’ entertainment value while Chuck was describing my sex life in vivid detail—“

“Don’t remind me,” he says, holding up a hand in disgust.  

“—but I dunno. There’s obviously something about it they connected to, right? Something they related to, something that moved them, inspired them? And I guess…I mean, what’s wrong with that?”

There is so, so much wrong with that.

“I don’t know what story they’re reading and what Sam and Dean they’re ‘connecting’ to here. But it sure as hell ain’t us. I mean…they even made me blonde, dude.”

“It’s a high school play, what can you expect?” Sam laughs. “It was probably the closest wig they could find at Party City.”

Dean ignores him, muttering aloud as he makes his way to the driver’s seat.

“The hair…the singing…the robots… the love story…”

“You really were bothered by that, weren’t you?” Sam gives his brother a curious look.

“SUPERNATURAL ISN’T A ROMANCE!” Dean snaps. “Look, these girls obviously don’t know what they’re talking about—“

“I dunno, Dean,” Sam said in a clearly taunting voice now. “Maybe you’re just jealous of what me and Cas have.”

He flushes. “W-what? I-I’m not—“

“We could give you two a name too, y’know? So you don’t feel left out? What about…Dee-stiel? CasDean?”

And he refuses to entertain this conversation any longer.

“Shut your face! Get in the car!”

Thankfully Sam notices the shift in tone and obliges at once.

Dean, meanwhile, takes a moment outside the car to glance around — almost as if checking to see if anyone overheard that comment. Not that it mattered. Who could overhear? No one even knew they were THE Sam and THE Dean. Who cared? He certainly didn’t care. He didn’t care at all...

(to be continued)

#if you were one of the people who offered to beta read back in march know I WILL be reaching out to because I need it lol #destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel fanfiction #fanfic #spn 10x05 #also this is a given but if you did want to be tagged when this is posted hmu! #been having so much fun with this especially with writing the new songs #also tbh the musical itself is the closet I will get to writing a sam & cas fic so that's been fun too lol #ESPECIALLY because then I can immediately add dean's reaction to it which is typically 'time to walk straight off the stage' #it's also fun to write a s10 fic since I'm a 'dean's been in love since s8 at least' truther #anyways new to this and my untreated adhd means I make a gazillion typos/take forever to work on things/get distracted by new ideas but #literally every positive comment on that first post is the reason why I'm still workin' at it

[thegeminisage]

lol how about 4, 9, 10, 14?

YOU GOT THEM. that's the rest of the questions. tyvm <3

4. Do you prefer writing long or short fics?

oh for sure long fics. i’m not sure i could write a short fic if my fucking life depended on it lmao it’s like my fatal flaw. that and being bad at arguments

9. What’s the fic you like the least?

SIGHS DEEPLY. the detroit become twink one, which i am not linking to, because something happened in the middle and i wasn’t able to finish it and now that i’m over that game i don’t know if i ever will. i really liked working on it and i was VERY excited about my ending, but...shit happens. :/ i hope one day i’ll either nut up and finish or just fucking delete it, i HATE having an unfinished work on my profile like that!

10. What would you change if you had it all to do again?

i assume you mean about broken road! i think if anything i’d adjust my timeline a little - it’s weird that such a long fic, which i posted over the course of seven weeks, only took place over about 5 days in-universe time. it feels like longer than that when you read it, so i’d adjust the timing so that it WAS actually longer than that - if anything, i’d like to give john and mary more than one day before breaking them up, and i think sam would have held out against john a lot longer than he did before losing his temper too. a longer timeline also would have allowed dean and cas’s argument to last more than just a couple of hours. 

the other thing i might change is that i’d put the car scene after the argument instead of after dean telling cas about how he got his voice back and talking about the abuse. or maybe i’d swap and put all of chapter 3 close to the end, i don’t know - typically in character arcs, something like a sex scene would go near the end, not the middle. but i was too attached to having it where it was so it could be like it was when i first pictured it to move it. it was one of the very first scenes i ever envisioned for this fic, one of my reasons for writing it to begin with, and i was very loath to change it. 

14. What’s your favorite shipping fic you’ve written? Favorite gen fic?

I WAS HOPING SOMEONE ASK THIS. hello supernatural community, i have written OTHER FANFICTION. it’s wild that broken road is so popular because i’m sitting over here like old man yelling at cloud going THIS IS NOT EVEN MY BEST WORK. and it’s not! i love broken road but it’s not my best work!!! cambionverse (supernatural next gen, EVERYONE who tries it likes it) is my best work, but i cowrote that. for fics i did on my own:

favorite (aka best) shipping fic: the anchor series, but particular the first one. these are teen wolf fics which diverge from canon at the end of season 4 and feature trauma and ace derek hale and past sexual assault and my weird secret rarepair. they are EXTREMELY NSFW i used to have a whole sideblog to hide them on. i think all the minors who used to follow me have aged up but if you are a minor i will literally send your browser history to your grandparents if you click on my ao3. don’t test me. anyway, i think anchor (the first fic) was probably the most perfectly-paced thing i’ve ever written. not before or since have i managed to nail such a beautifully perfect outline the first try with almost no revision required later. i wrote all 50k of it in a MONTH. i stayed up until 10 in the morning on the regular, but i got it done in record time. it practically fell out of my brain into the google doc fully formed. if a fic ever comes even half as easily to me as that one did ever again, i will be very happy. 

favorite gen fic: technically, it’s pre-slash, but how arthur got his groove back for bbc merlin. i like to joke that this is basically the same story as broken road, because it covers many of the same things, such as: self-acceptance and acceptance of others after a lifetime of being told That Thing Is Wrong, daddy’s blunt little instrument grappling with his father’s misdeeds, daddy’s blunt little instrument grappling with what he himself wound up doing as a result of hero-worshipping his father, finding peace after traumatic events, batshit insane fight scenes that make me rub my hands together evilly, me deciding to turn my favorite episode into a 100k canon divergent fix-it fanfiction, and most importantly, people being shocked that gay people exist. i think it has much better “timing” than broken road (broken road’s timeline was so wonky and dumb), and also that it’s better-written, and that the side characters for more attention paid to their arcs.

when someone asks me what my best fic is, it’s always one of these two. so, uh, not to self-promote but if you were ever into teen wolf or merlin...yeah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

...AND THAT WRAPS UP OUR MEME. i don't think i've been asked literally every single question on one before, so thank you to everyone who sent one <3

#liz answers asks #anonymous #liz loves writing #broken road #liz watches spn #how arthur got his groove back

[drivingsideways]

for the fandom meme questions, if you're still taking them: F, G, W, and Y. (you don't have to do all of them, just whichever ones you wanna answer)

I answered most of those here, so gonna do the remaining one

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

OH NO WHERE TO START HOW TO PICK THIS IS TERRIBLE 

I am such a multi-shipper at heart, i ship everyone/everything so picking a few is AGONIZING. 

under the cut ‘cause uh, i got carried away. No particular order of fave, and mostly restricted to ships from the last few years

Miranda Barlow/James Flint/Thomas Hamilton (Black Sails) - OT3 of PAIN omg, the fact that they barely had a chance to be together, and so much of their story  as a trio is basically one or the other NOT BEING THERE AND THE REMAINING TWO BEING DEVASTATED AND WANDERING AROUND THE WORLD LOST WITHOUT THEIR MISSING THIRD. UGHHHH. I yell a lot about James/Miranda here but internally I yell a lot about Thomas/Miranda pre and post James and James/Thomas without Miranda and basically every time I see their faces I’m *crying *, and honestly, my only kink for them is to literally be in the same room and the same time, like, my needs here are very basic. 

Dean/Castiel (SPN): I know, I know. Everybody and their grandmom ships these two, AS THEY SHOULD. I gave up on the show a long time ago, but every now and then a gifset crosses my dash and I’M UNDONE BY THEIR FACES WHEN THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER WHEN THE OTHER IS NOT WATCHING (THERE’S A REASON SEASON 6 IS WHEN I REALLY STARTED SHIPPING THEM) AND I’M LIKE IT’S BEEN 15 YEARS AND SEVERAL RESURRECTIONS PLEASE KISS NOW. Hmm, kinks for this ship- lbr, fandom has written Every Possible Kink for this ship, and I’m happy to roll with most of it, but anything with true-form/eldritch horror Cas and a very human, very mortal Dean is probably THE BEST. Well, that and OMG ARE THEY HOLDING HANDS OMG OMG OMG (I can’t help it, I’m a marshmallow)

Superbat (DCEU) : I’ll be honest, I didn’t give a fuck about Batman until Ben Affleck ran onto the screen with with his fucking three piece suits and Emotional Trauma and Weird Psychosexual Dreams and I couldn’t believe the pit of shame I’d let myself fall into, but BvS was Something (yes, amidst a whole lot of Objectively Bad Somethings, yes I’m looking at you Jesse Eisenberg) anyways, i closed the tab where the movie had been playing, opened another tab for AO3 and fell straight into one of @susiecarter‘s fics, specifically THIS AMAZING FAKE DATING POST BvS ONE and it was basically over for me. This subset of Superbat fandom has some amazing writers and artists so honestly it wasn’t really even my fault, i just wallowed in all the hard work being done by someone else. PINING! CONTROL ISSUES! Emotionally Traumatized Man with a Death Wish meets literal Ray of Sunshine who can ALSO actually kill him with his little finger and has FEELINGS HE CAN”T IDENTIFY MUCH LESS TALK ABOUT. I love pining (is that a kink?) and like this is the otp where one half is/was literally dead while the other is dead inside AND IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME. I REGRET NOTHING. Seriously, this version of an older, weary Batman meeting a young(ish) Superman who’s still trying to figure out how to be Superman, with both of them having control issues while being absolute rubbish at communication is perfect for a lot of d/s stuff but like my bulletproof kink in this ship is probably them...talking about their feelings? YEAH.

Joan/Sherlock (Elementary) : OH NO MY SUPER HAPPY CANON PLATONIC SOULMATES THEY ARE EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED AND NEVER IMAGINED I’D GET TO SEE ON AN ACTUAL SHOW AND THEY’RE SUPER GREAT AND I LOVE HOW THEY ARE LIKE RIDE OR DIE FOR EACH OTHER AND THE WAY SHERLOCK ADORES HER AND THE WAY SHE’LL LOOK OUT FOR HIM AND TELL HIM COLD HARD TRUTHS BUT ALWAYS WITH KINDNESS WHY ARE THEY SO PERFECT WHY IS THIS SHOW ENDING AND HOLY HELL UNDYING KINK IS SHERLOCK SAYING ‘I’D MAKE ADJUSTMENTS FOR YOU’ AND JOAN’S FACE WHEN HE SAYS THAT THIS SHOW HAD BETTER END WITH JOAN ADOPTING A BABY AND LIVING IN THEIR BROWNSTONE WITH CLYDE AND THEIR BEES AND DOING DETECTIVE THINGS

*deep breath *

and current fave

Ning Yi/ Xin Zi Yan (The Rise of Phoenixes) : Ok, look, I basically ship Ning Yi/everyone and mostly Ning Yi/ happiness, homicidal woobie that he is, BUT the show just like WENT THERE with these two. Xin Zi Yan is Ning Yi’s mentor/friend/ally in the fight for his life within his batshit insane royal family and he is a cold, ruthless fuck who can hold grudges FOREVER and they flirt with each other (the show is particularly unsubtle about the flirting) and lie to each other and protect each other and STICK THE KNIFE INTO EACH OTHER AT THE SOFTEST POINTS BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW TO. Like their fights are EPIC, blood on the floor everywhere and I’m like YES YES but also NOW FUCK. Like, canon just gave me this intense, competitive, kinda unhealthy dynamic and I’m like they’d be so bad for each other, BECAUSE LOL WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES XIN ZI YAN YOU CONTROL FREAK AND  NING YI YOU ARE ONE ABYSS OF NEED THAT YOU TRY TO HIDE BEHIND YOUR NONCHALANCE AND MURDER BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER OMG I LOVE THEM A LOT LET ME WRITE 100K ABOUT THEM BEING THE ABSOLUTE WORST FOR EACH OTHER AND THE WORLD, SO I DID. Did someone say rarepair hell? I’m literally writing the only fic there is for them that’s how much i love them (its such a rarepair that the tag isn’t even searchable on AO3 yet). Uh, as for kinks for these two I CAN’T BECAUSE I’M NOT READY FOR THE MORTIFICATION OF BEING KNOWN. 

#lembeau #meme stuff #yelling mostly

[downtoagincourt]

My appalling/bonkers DTA theory, a novel by Kirinleaf

Based on the other theory going around, that our Dean was brought to Endverse by End!Dean.

Initially prompted by the question of who created the sacrificial symbol from the church that kicked off so much of what follows. Also takes in the double-blind contract Crowley describes.

This is all very circumstantial, I have no hard evidence, just a bunch of things that make me whimper a bit.

The sacrificial circle: - is new, never seen before - was a prototype - is evil, appalling, unthinkable, but created for a very practical purpose: to raise power on a scale never before available to anyone not a god or archangel - is now being used to create or restore the barrier around Kansas, the one designed to protect Dean while he is “made ready” - could also give a demon sufficient power to annex territory in hell

Cas as we know him currently: - creative, imaginative (even if he doesn’t think so) - invented both the cabin wards that hide Dean and the “invisibility” sigils – new, never seen before - would do anything for Dean (see Chuck on potentially killing everyone to get Dean out of the camp: would he really do it? Chuck certainly seems to think so. Cas has a very strong moral sense, much as he might resist the idea, but if that were in direct conflict with his imperative to Save/Protect Dean…?) - has nightmares of himself and Dean happily together in Hell and planning their takedown of Lucifer, directly echoing their current lives in ways that make Cas wake up screaming but at the same time admit that yes, he has actually spent time thinking about how breaking an angel might work - knows both contract law and natural law just as well as Crowley (explains aspects of both to Dean and Joe on several occasions)

Dean Mark 1: - was looking for a weapon/plan/”shortcut” to defeat Lucifer - was enlisting Cas as torture-assistant - much more creepily and worryingly, was frustrated that Cas couldn’t be taught to “enjoy” it. Why was this so important to him? To make himself feel better about it? A belief that Cas would be better at it if he were wholly invested in it (cf. Amy of Alpha getting frustrated over Cas’ abilities as a hunting instructor, before he learned at Chitaqua both that he enjoyed it, and why he enjoyed it)? Many possibilities, but here’s another one: he was beginning to realise he couldn’t win (on Earth) and starting to consider his alternatives >> knew he might need help that Cas could possibly provide >> but how to get Cas on board with something fundamentally alien to his nature? Well, what if he could learn to enjoy it?

Here’s the external, Doylist “evidence” (and I freely admit a lot of this is reaching and would get my thesis proposal laughed out of the supervisor’s office…).

Seperis: - is great at hiding things in plain sight, providing foreshadowing, and (much like her Cas) telling us exactly what’s happening while distracting us with something else (just one example: every mention of Alicia and Kyle from the digging of the mess pit onwards). Of course we’re constantly being given new information that expands and influences what we know, but the roots of nearly everything so far can be found in Books 1 & 2 (I think). - has told us in comments that the original story in its entirety was less than 100K. This and the above point taken together suggest strongly to me that the “solution” to the mystery (insofar as there can be one, because DTA is so much more than that) will lie in its beginnings. - has written a lot of stuff that hasn’t (yet?) found its way into the story, and that sometimes pops up in comments (did anyone else see the comment that contained the Cas POV of the night he and Vera were attacked in the cabin??? SO MUCH INTERNAL SCREAMING), sometimes as adapted(?) tangentially related(?) standalone stories, specifically “Hall of the Mountain King” and “Once and Future King”, which detail movingly and plausibly exactly how and why (a version of) Cas could be broken and remade to do and be everything Dean wants and needs – with his own explicit consent. For love.

So, to summarise my appalling/bonkers theory: Possibly-Broken!Cas and End!Dean worked together to bring our Dean to Endverse, with Cas as the inventor of the means to raise the power to do so, as well as being one of the signatories to the double-blind contract regarding soul ownership. And the voice Cas heard at the beginning telling him not to look back? Could have been himself.

Objections: Q. When on earth did Cas do all this? A. There are clear distinctions between linear time, and out-of-time. In linear time, there’s no way he could. But out of time, we’ve already had Dean at the church two years before he even arrived in Endverse as well as newly-fallen almost-dead Cas there when he was physically locked in his bedroom. Q. All that would have taken ages, though. A. It really would. But duration hasn’t been shown to be a factor – when you’re in non-linear out-of-time, you have however long you need. And he wouldn’t remember it either, unless or until something specifically happens to trigger the memory. Q. So when then? A. I was thinking, the two weeks he doesn’t remember from when he fell, when he was physically dead, when Dean and Bobby did something that he can’t remember, that Bobby apologised for, and that Dean refused to talk about. Lots of opportunity for non-linear out-of-body doings, of which the scene in the church is one example. It might be a stretch, but there’s nothing to indicate that the church was the only place Cas visited out-of-body during that linear stretch of time. Q. Why would Cas ever do something that he himself finds so abhorrent? A. A possibility – during the time he was physically dead, his essence/soul-equivalent went to hell, out-of-time, and found Dean there. Events similar to “Once and Future King”/”Hall of the Mountain King” then follow, winding up with Cas’ dream in “Game of God”. Although that last one definitely seemed to feature our Dean’s demon-self (not End!Dean-as-demon), we also know the Dean in Cas’ dream shared a lot of specific, creepy-as-hell traits and catchphrases with the demon-self we’ve seen and that Cas hasn’t, which to me indicates Cas’s dream may not be all a dream…

So, that’s my theory. Scream at me, with me, tell me I’m delusional, that I apparently think about DTA way too much (or, most embarrassingly, break it to me gently that everyone in the Twitter DM thought of this ages ago and dismissed it for the following excellent reasons). I’m going anxiously await your responses and continue to pray for an update.

YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU (any comment on this theory from @seperis...?)

#patrol report #submission #thank you for coming to our ted talk #down to agincourt #kirinleaf #amazing #this #yes #seperis

[flamencodiva]

Getting Back to You 11 - Hustling and Nightcaps

Description: Amaya Campos and Dean Winchester had a playful rivalry. what happens when Dean is no longer her Dean. Will this change make one of them realize what they really desire, or will they continue to keep secrets?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Amaya Campos (Original Female Character) , AU Dean Winchester x AU Amaya Campos

Warnings: Language, Violence, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Word Count For Series: 100K+ words

Beta: @superfanficnatural​ and @emoryhemsworth​​​ and @jensengirl83​​

Book Cover by @talesmaniac89​

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

A/N: Special thanks to - @crashdevlin​ @atc74​ @smol-and-grumpy​ @winchest09​ @waywardbeanie​ @deanwanddamons​ @malfoysqueen14​  @emoryhemsworth​ @janicho88​ @jensengirl83​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​ @katehuntington​ @anathewierdo​  and to all my friends who listen to me ramble about my writing. your words of encouragement mean the world to me! Without you I don’t think I could have found the courage to come back and share what I love most to do, WRITE.

Getting Back To You Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Amaya tossed and turned as the night went on. There was something nagging her in the back of her mind. By now, Dean would be groaning in his sleep, or at least snoring. But there was a deafening silence that just seemed out of place. Running a hand across her face she sat up and looked around the motel room. 

There sitting in the kitchenette, was Dean. A bottle of beer in his hand, a far away look on his face. It was a look Amaya rarely got to see in her Dean. Throwing the covers off, she got off the bed and walked over towards him. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” she whispered. 

She chuckled when Dean jumped a bit. He was deep in thought when she had approached him. She could see his Adam's apple bob as he took in a soft swallow. 

He gave her a small smile before he cleared his throat, “I dunno… just felt kinda anxious, you know?” 

“Yeah, I hear ya,” Amaya sighed. “It’s weird not having to hear Dean toss and turn or snore sometimes.” 

“He snores?” Dean snorted. “I shouldn’t laugh… Amaya would pinch my nose from time to time if I snored. But I’m worried about her and her nightmares.” 

“She gets nightmares? About what?” Amaya asked. “If you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all,” Dean assured her. “Being abandoned, or people not wanting her. Her dad left her at the academy back home. She always kept mostly to herself.” he took a sip of the beer he was drinking. “I kept trying to be her friend. I started out being this… cocky, know it all, until she knocked me on my ass a few hundred times.” he chuckled at the memory. 

“Sounds like Dean and me,” Amaya gave him  a thin line smile. “He was this tough, cocky dick. And I found ways to knock him down a peg or two.” she chuckled. “This one time, we were at a party in high school out in the woods.” she closed her eyes at the memory. “I was seeing this guy at the time. One of those, just passing by flings.” she shook her head. “Well, needles to say, Dean used a scar from when he had to save me from a ghost. Lady decided to use her cutlery as weapons and she was gunning for me.” 

“What did he do exactly?” Dean raised an eyebrow. 

“Mind you, I saw this from afar and I thought he was trying to show off how macho he was.” she shook her head. “So I go up to the guy and wrap my arms around him and he just gives me this look of disgust.” she sighed. “He starts calling me every name in the book and saying I’m insane for stabbing my ex when he did nothing and I was confused as hell.” 

Dean watched as she paused to take a gulp from the beer bottle. When she was done, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose before continuing. 

“I walked up to him and whatever slut he was flirting with, grabbed him by his neck, and said in his ear, ‘Since I’m your crazy ex, guess it’s okay for me to act like it!’ So I pulled him away from blondie and dragged him away from the party and just laid him out on the ground in an arm bar. Almost snapped his shoulder until Sam pulled me off.” 

“Why am I an ass in this world?” Dean ran a hand across his face. “Honestly, I mean, what is the point of doing that?” 

“Defense mechanism,” Amaya sighed. “I mean, I’m not going to deny it. I fell for him.” she let out a laugh. “It’s cruel that I would fall for him when he doesn’t love me back.” 

“You don’t--” 

“I do,” Amaya whispered sadly. “If he did. If he really did, he would say fuck it, grow some balls and be with me. But no matter how much I’m there for him in every way… even as just a warm body,” she chugged the last bit of her beer and hissed. “I have to face the facts. I need to move on. If I don’t, I’m only going to hurt myself.” 

Dean stayed silent as her words sunk in. He still couldn’t grasp the severity of what this version of himself went through. 

“I always tried to convince Amaya I wasn’t going anywhere.” Dean whispered. “She seemed to think that when I first asked her out that it was some prank orchestrated by the other huntresses.” Dean chuckled. “I would spar with her and she would just lay me flat time and time again and I would look up at her and say, ‘see, you keep knocking me off my feet. Would you just go out with me, already?’ And she would call me a jackass and just walk away.”  

“So what made her finally give in?” Amaya asked with a smile. 

She could tell that Dean loved his Amaya. The way his eyes shined at the mere mention of her. When he said her name, he would smile. 

“I killed the vamp that decided to take a bite of her.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair as he played with the label on the beer bottle. “She lost some blood, I took her back to our hotel and stitched her up. I stayed up all night just making sure she was okay.” He grabbed the beer and began to chug its contents. “Next morning, she woke me up from drooling on her arm. Called me an idiot, said thanks and kissed me out of nowhere.” 

Amaya watched as the corners of his lips curled up into a soft smile. But she knew he was feeling sad, feeling homesick. 

“After that kiss, I took her out on a real date and we dated for about five years before I popped the question.” He let out a laugh. “I should have married her after I almost died. But we have this tradition that--” he paused to take a drink. “It seems stupid, but it is practical. There is a ceremony that is supposed to ‘protect’ the newly weds.” he shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “I should have just married her and done the ceremony at a later time. I shouldn’t have listened to my mother at the time and now look… and… and…” 

“Dean?” Amaya sat up as she saw something she rarely saw Dean do, cry. 

The last time she saw Dean, her Dean, look as broken as he was before her was when he had been dragged out of hell. She watched as he clenched his jaw, her heart jumped slightly at the look. The clenched jaw, the way he tried to swallow the guilt.  

“What happened in your world?” Amaya whispered. 

“I was grading papers at the academy,” he took in a shaky breath. “There was a knock on the door and Lisa Braden walked in.” he let out a scoff and sneered. “She kept digging at how Amaya and I hadn’t gotten married. Wedding is set for next week,” he grabbed the beer and finished it off before standing up to open up another. “I was an idiot getting out from behind my desk. But I wanted to seem busy. I also needed to write some things on the board but… besides the point.” 

He opened the bottle and chugged as much as he could before clenching his fist. Walking back to the table, he knocked on it slightly before slumping onto the chair. 

 “Next thing I know she’s kissing me and I want to pull away but… something strange happens.” he closed his eyes trying to stop his eyes from crying but a single tear escapes. “But…” he grit his teeth and turned his head. “Something was wrong. My heart was screaming it’s not Amaya, but my head… in my head it was her. I could almost feel her and then… I opened my eyes and it was her… I swear for a moment, Amaya was in front of me and not Lisa.” 

“And that’s when the other version of me walked in. I’m guessing.” Amaya muttered and finished her second beer. 

“She called off the wedding, too,” He let out a frustrated laugh. “I need to get back. I need to marry her next week.” 

“Okay,” was all Amaya said. “Since we can’t sleep, might as well get dressed and entertain ourselves.” 

“By doing what?” Dean ran a hand across his face. “Salsa dancing?” 

“We hustle pool,” Amaya said matter of factly.  

Dean sighed as he slept on the hotel bed. 

He could feel her in his arms. The smell of her lavender shampoo filled his senses as he felt her fingers brush against his skin. 

“Maya,” He whispered as her lips brushed his. “You know we shouldn’t be doing this?” 

“You chicken, Winchester?” she said with a teasing smile. “You know there is no turning back from this.” 

“Hey, you’re the one that said yes,” He chuckled. “Just want to make sure you aren’t backing out now.” 

“We’re getting married in the morning and we’re breaking the number one rule,” Amaya giggled. 

“Since when do Winchester’s play by the rules?” he reminded her. “Besides,” he kissed along her neck and collar bone. “Need one last run as singles before the big day tomorrow.” 

“Perv,” She slapped at his arm but giggled anyway. 

The sound made him smile to the point his cheeks were hurting. Next thing he knew, he watched her walk down the aisle. She wore a corset style top with a fitted and flared skirt. She was glowing as she walked down the white carpet they had decided on. With Cas standing in as their officiant.  Dan smiled at Amaya as she smiled back. The scene moved quickly until Cas asked the important question. 

“Do you, Dean Winchester,” Cas breathed with a smile. “Finally take Amaya Campos as your wife? Mostly because this wedding is illegal since you are both technically considered dead.” 

Dean let out a laugh and smiled at Amaya, “I do.” 

“Do you, Amaya,” Cas sighed. “Do the same thing I asked but with Dean?” 

“I--” 

“Maya?” Dean whispered as blood began to seep out of the corner of Amaya’s mouth. “No.” 

“Dean, Dean, Dean,” 

The voice sent a shiver down Dean's spine as an arm wrapped around Amaya pulling her away from him as he felt something restraining him. All around his arms and legs were hooks sinking into his skin. 

“Alastair,” Dean growled as the Demon pulled Amaya towards him, her back to his chest as he held a knife over her belly. “Let her go!” 

“You didn’t really think you actually left my rack, did you?” Alastair ran his knife along Amaya’s cheek as she whimpered. “She whimpers so nice, Dean. I mean, that is very sweet. I love it when they squeal.” He plunged the blade into Amaya’s abdomen. 

“NO!” Dean screamed and cried when he pulled on the hooks that dug into him. “MAYA!” 

All he could do was watch as Alastair dragged the blade along her belly, slicing her open. Her white dress now stained red with her blood as it began to pool on the floor. Dean closed his eyes only to feel a slap on his face. 

“No, no, no, Dean,” Alastair said with a laugh. “Open your eyes and look at what you brought on her.” he pulled on his hair. “Look at what loving her did. This is why you can never love anyone.” Alastair hissed in his ear. “You’re poison. You bring nothing but death to the people you love. And she is only your latest casualty.” 

“Maya,” Dean whimpered as the tears rolled down his face. “MAYA!” he screamed as her cold dead eyes stared right back at him. 

Dean’s eyes flashed open as he sat up on the bed. Sweat dripped down his face as he took in deep breaths to try and calm down. He hated when he dreamed. That was the worst one yet. It wasn't the only one that had featured Alastair, but it was the goriest one. 

“Bad dream?” a voice called from across the room. 

“Not really,” Dean took a deep breath through his nose. “Bed isn’t all that comfortable for dreaming.” 

Amaya let out a snort as she held her glass to her lips, “Yeah, okay. “ 

“What about you?” Dean pointed out. “You get up to have a nightcap often?” 

“Couldn’t sleep,” she grumbled. “Want some?” 

Dean smiled as he saw the whiskey bottle. Walking over towards the table, he pulled out the chair and sat down. Grabbing the bottle, he poured himself around two fingers full. The familiar burn in his throat gave him a small bit of satisfaction. 

“So…” Dean clicked his tongue. “Why are you running from love? See me, I know why I’m running. I’m poison. Anything I love, anything I touch, will die.” he admitted. “From what you told me about how you grew up here, I think you’re running from something.” 

“Am not,” Amaya snorted. 

From the look of the bottle, Dean surmised she was already slightly drunk. 

“He was just going to leave anyways,” she snorted. “It’s why my father abandoned me. Last-- las’ thin’ he said was that I am going to end up alone.” 

“What?” Dean raised an eyebrow at her. “Omar said you were destined to be alone? Come on!” 

“He did!” Amaya exclaimed. “He-- he never contacted me again. And I was always alone. I mean… the girls all hated me because I was good at everything and I caught Dean’s attention.” she let out another snort. “Me.. golden boy had his eyes on me. I always thought it was a cosmic joke.” 

“So,” Dean finished his whiskey and poured himself some more. “Let me get this straight. You are running from Dean because he is eventually going to leave you because you feel you’re cursed to be abandoned?” Dean let out a scoff. “Sweetheart, if he ever did that then he isn't anything like me.” 

“He isn’t. But he did. He kissed Lisa. I don't care if a spell was behind it. He kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her and…” she sniffled a bit. “After everything I heard, what the other female hunters were saying… they said it served me right. That I was too cold for the Knight of Hunters.” 

“Is that what they call him?” Dean smirked. 

“More like what he was to me. He saved me in terms of being alone…” she admitted. “He never gave up on me, though.”  She said sadly. “He just kept pushing and pushing. I kept knocking him down and knocking him down. Until we were on assignment together. It was a vamps nest.” she seemed to smile at the memory. 

“What, did you save his ass?” Dean chuckled. 

It seemed to be the pattern with them. She would kick this version of himself in the ass, while he just tried to show her that she was not worthless. A part of him knew that if Amaya ever felt that way in his world, he always tried to make her feel wanted. At least until he felt he was getting too close. Then he cut it to the quick and distanced himself. 

“Actually,” she paused and finished her drink before reaching for the bottle to pour herself some more. “He saved me. I was too cocky for my own good and I didn’t realize I had missed one.” she recalled. “I had my back turned and it chomped on me from behind. Dean jumped in and killed it just in time.”  

“Funny,” Dean let out a small huff. “Opposite happened to me and Maya. I had my back turned and she saved my ass. Not the first time either.” he admitted. “I--” he slammed back the rest of his whiskey before grabbing more. “She’s my best friend. I’m sure she knows that, deep down. But… I always seemed to push her buttons and--” he took a sip and hissed as the amber liquid flowed down his throat. 

“You love her,” Amaya whispered. 

“What?” Dean let out a high pitched sound. “No. I mean I… She’s my friend so I care about her but I don’t love her like THAT.” 

“Your lips are lying, but your eyes,” she swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’ve seen that look. It’s the look Dean would give me. Or rather, still gives me. Even before this whole thing happened. When I was packing my things and he tried to stop me. I could tell. He--” she wiped the stray tear that had started to fall. “He was hurt that I would leave. But his eyes still showed love in them.” 

“Yeah? And how do you know that I feel the same way about my Maya? Huh?” he grumbled. “You don’t know--” 

“Because you look at me the same way,” her brown eyes met his green ones.

Dean could feel a small sense of familiarity at the way her eyes stared into him. He noticed the emotion, she was sad. She missed her Dean, even though she was pushing him away, running from him. She missed him. And as much as he hated to admit it, he missed his Amaya. 

 “When we first met,” she interrupted his thoughts and licked her lips. “You had this… look in them. You were guilty about something. But they flashed with a hint of longing, if that makes sense.” 

Dean stayed silent as her words washed over him. Damn her for being just as observant as he was. Fucking bitch had figured him out in just days of knowing him. Clenching his jaw, he gave her a hard glare before leaning towards her. 

“You know nothing about me, sweetheart,” he huffed. “IF I were to even think of Amaya like that, which I’m not saying I am, she’s as good as dead in my arms. Because that’s how they all end up.” He continued to hold her gaze as he spoke. “Every single relationship I had, everyone I ever cared about ended up hurt or dead. Hell, I had to have an angel erase the memory of a woman I spent a year with, helping her raise her son, after she got captured by demons. So let’s get this thing straightened out. I do NOT love Maya in that way. All we are is fuck buddies. Understand?” 

Amaya raised her hands in defeat, “Okay. I get it. But remember this. You’re running away just like I am. I don’t judge you, if you don’t judge me.” 

“Deal,” Dean huffed. “Know a good place to hustle pool?” 

Amaya gave him a devilish smirk, “You know how to hustle pool? You’re yanking my chain.” 

Dean let out a chuckle, “Sweetheart, I’ve been hustling pool since I was in diapers.” 

In the pool hall, Dean fidgeted nervously. The way Amaya walked around the pool table made him nervous. It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to play pool, he did. He just wasn’t good at hustling. He watched as Amaya walked up to him carrying the pool cue in one hand and a glass of whiskey in another. 

"You need to relax," she whispered in his ear.

Her breath sent a shiver down his spine.

"I can't… this is… my Amaya was better at this than I was." He whispered back. "I was the one she would play against and lose." 

Amaya tilted her head to the side in thought, “Okay, let’s play one game and let me see what you’re all about.” 

Dean simply nodded as he moved to the side and let her rack up the balls. He watched as Amaya studied the table with a smirk. He recognized that look, it was a look of strategy. She was measuring all the angles she could use. Next thing he knew, she hit the cue ball and the game began. He was only able to sink in a few solid balls as she sunk stripe after stripe. The one thing he noticed was that, while she was measuring for trick shots, she never used any. In fact, she had missed a few on purpose with a smirk. 

“What are you doing?” he whispered to her. He made himself seem as though he was flirting with her. 

“Trying to catch a big one,” she breathed back, using her eyes to point at a few men that were watching. 

“You know,” Dean raised his voice as he gave her a wink. “You’re pretty good at this, mama.” 

“Yeah,” she let out a giggle. “What makes you say that?” 

“You wiped the floor with me.” Dean walked around the table as they finished their game. 

“Hey toots!” one of the men who was observing them called out. “Why don’t you play with a real man?” 

“Call me when you find one,” Amaya sassed with a smile. 

“You give me your number, and I’ll give you mine.” the man had walked up to the table and leaned over it shooting her a wink. 

With a small glance at Dean who nodded, she flashed the man a smirk. 

“Rack ‘em up,” she walked over towards him and ran her index finger along his cheek, trailing down his jaw, and towards his chest. “Big boy.” 

Amaya could smell him a mile away. This man thought she would be an easy target, so she decided to play it up. She was thankful for the off shoulder black tube top she was wearing. It squeezed her breasts just right, giving off a large amount of cleavage. As she leaned over the table, she made sure to give Mr. Cocky a good view of her own rack while pushing her ass out in her skin tight jeans. Her hair in a neat braid as she moved around the table, sinking in shot after shot. 

“Eight ball,” she called lazily. “Corner pocket.” 

Dean watched as she sunk it with ease while the gorilla who was watching her grabbed his cue so tight, his knuckles were turning white. 

“Beginners luck,” he grumbled as he set down the five hundred dollars they bet on the table. 

Amaya gave him a sweet purr as she let her fingers brush along his arm. 

“Want to double or nothing?” She whispered. “I mean, this was my first, real, game.” she brought her face dangerously close to gorilla’s. “What do you have to lose?” 

It wasn’t long before Amaya and Dean were walking out of the pool hall. Amaya hummed happily as she counted off the money they made. 

“Four thousand dollars!” she sighed contently as they climbed into the Impala. “Oh man, Dean would have flipped if we ever got this much in one night! This was a lucky night.” 

“I guess it was.” Dean chuckled. 

The smile on Amaya’s face made him both happy and sad. Sad that he wasn’t with his version of her, but happy that he could make any version of her smile. Without even thinking, he reached over and placed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers brushing her cheek as he pulled his hand back. 

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I... um…” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “We should try and go back and get some sleep. Got a long drive to make.” 

“Yeah,” Amaya whispered. 

There were days that she wished Dean would look at her the way this alternate version was looking at her. Weeks that she would dream about even the gentlest touches coming from him. Closing her eyes she shook away the feeling and swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“We should get back and try to sleep.” she echoed, refusing to look at him. 

The drive to the motel was filled with silence as they undressed and got comfortable before settling in and letting sleep over take them. 

Dean and Amaya were back on the road. To say that sleep did not come easy was an understatement. Despite the fact that Amaya insisted on them drinking whiskey to help, it did nothing but fill both of them with dreams of longing. Each of them dreamed of being with the right versions of the people they loved only to be disturbed when the light of the sun woke them.  

“You okay over there?” He asked as they barreled down the road. 

“Yeah, fine.” She brushed him off.  She had grabbed her phone and began dialling Sam. “Please tell me you have more information on what’s going on?” she sighed. 

Dean focused on the road as he heard her talking to Sam. In the middle of the ‘uh-huh’ and ‘yeah that sounds like it’, Dean had a thought. 

“Can you ask him if it has anything to do with Hecate?” 

The question left his lips and he could feel Amaya’s eyes on him. 

“Did you just say Hecate? As in Goddess of Magic and Witchcraft?” Amaya said. In that instance she let out a groan. “When the fuck were you going to tell me you guys were messing with Witches of Hecate, Winchester?” she yelled into the phone. “Don’t give me that bullshit, Sam! You are dealing with a Greek Goddess and not just any Greek Goddess I might add!” 

Dean sighed, he thought back to what Hecate said in his universe. He said that it was nothing against him, but at the same time maybe it was his fault. Back in his world, it didn’t matter if Witches were white or dark. A Witch was a Witch and they had to die. 

“I think that would be my world’s fault.” Dean rubbed at his eyes as he pulled the car over.  

“Hold on, Sam,” Amaya sighed as she turned to Dean. “What do you mean?” 

“In… In my world, a Witch is a Witch.” He explained. “So when someone is caught, we either imprison them or…” he trailed off. 

“So,” Amaya pinched the bridge of her nose. Pulling the phone away from her ear she pressed the speaker button. “Okay, let me get this straight. You guys felt that no matter what kind of magic was used, a Witch was always evil?” 

Sam let out an audible groan. “And now she’s trying to get revenge. But why target our Dean?” 

“He hates Witches Sam… He’s an easy target.” Amaya huffed. “Of course put him in a world where his ‘all witches are bad’ motto will make him happy.” 

Dean let out a groan and placed his forehead on the steering wheel. “This is all kinds of fucked up. I just want to go home!” he whined. 

“This isn’t a picnic for us either, pal,” Amaya grumbled. “I want grumpy back. I hate to admit it, but the faster we get him back the faster I can go off on my own.” 

“Maya,” Sam’s voice came in. “you know that he--” 

“Save it, Sam,” Amaya hissed. “He’s been pulling this shit since I can remember. So no, I won’t stick around when he comes home. Besides, Jason is meeting us in Salem.” 

“What?!” Sam and Dean both echoed. 

“Just... let’s keep driving. We’re wasting time! Not to mention we need to do some investigating when we get there, if Jason hasn’t started already.” 

Dean started the car back up and continued the drive, pushing the Impala as fast as he could.

Dean let out a laugh as Amaya finished wiping the floor with another sucker. They had decided to split up and make it a small competition to see who could win the most money. Only after Dean had proven it to her that he could play. He had a difficult shot to make, and with a smirk, made the cue ball jump over one of the balls in his way to sink the eight ball in. At the time, they were the only ones at the pool table. 

Amaya had found a small pool hall that was just empty enough to test his skill before the patrons filtered in. Drinks were flowing and laughter filtered through. The groans of disappointment echoed as both Dean and Amaya’s tables were filled with onlookers. 

“You know,” Dean heard one of the men say to Amaya as she bent over the table. “Why don’t you come back with me and I can sink some balls in some holes for you?” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean watched as Amaya pulled the cue back quickly hitting the man in his solar plexus. 

“Oh,” she cooed. “I’m sorry, amor. I only let certain balls sink into particular holes.” with that she lined up her shot and sunk in the eight ball. “I believe the stakes were triple, right?” 

Before he knew it, between the two of them they made a good eight thousand dollars. Dean gave a low whistle as they counted up the money, Amaya giving him his four while she kept hers. 

“I call that the best night I’ve ever had,” he chuckled. “We need to play pool more. Could probably clean house.”   

“Yeah,” Amaya sighed as she leaned up against the Impala. “You are really good. You weren’t kidding when you said you’ve played since you were young.” 

“Told ya,” he shot her a cocky smile. “I take it we should get some sleep while we can.” he cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

By now, he and Amaya would have gone back to the motel, drank some whiskey, and ended up in bed together. Mostly with Dean giving her gentle touches as she slept. Mostly because he couldn’t do it while she was awake. He would never admit to having a few secrets of admitting he loved her to himself. But damn it if he didn’t miss her.  And damn it if thinking about her didn’t give him the biggest hard on in his life. And here in front of him was her doppelganger. Dressed in a crop top band tee, tight jeans, leather jacket, and biker boots. Her hair flowed around her with a smile that reminded him of what his heart wanted.  

“Yeah we should,” she agreed, clearing her throat. “I take it, you had to hustle to survive.” 

 Dean reached over and grazed his thumb along her lips before recoiling it back as if touching her burned him. 

“Sorry,” he rasped. “You had a smudge and I-- I just…” 

“It’s fine,” Amaya whispered. “How about we celebrate with some more whiskey?” 

“That sounds like a plan, sweetheart,” Dean said as he smiled. “I could get used to that.” 

The drive back to the hotel, with a pit stop at a liquor store, resulted in good music, crude jokes, and stumbling into the hotel room. 

“So… so, we barge into this coven that’s out in a cabin and… Dean and I have to turn away because they were--” she paused to take a drink from the bottle as they sat on the floor, before passing it back to Dean. “They were worshiping in skyclad. And we had walked in on their orgy. It was butts and tits, and penises everywhere!” 

“That must have been one messy massacre,” Dean grumbled. 

“Why do you say it like that?” Amaya frowned at him. 

“Were they Wiccan’s or witches?” Dean tried to clarify. 

“Witches are witches, nothing more and nothing less.” Amaya gave him a slight glare. “Magic is dangerous, no matter what it’s used for.” 

“And yet,” Dean took a gulp from the bottle hissing as the liquid gave him a slight burn. “The incantations we use to send demons back, the key of Solomon, incantations to beef up weapons, or puzzle boxes,” Dean listed off. “That’s all magic.” 

“Are you sympathetic to witches?” Amaya asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Fuck no,” Dean chuckled. “I hate hags as much as the next hunter. But… not all witches go darkside. There are white witches, and witches who work with gods. I mean probably not THE God, but Greek gods? Definitely.” 

“What is your point,” Amaya drawled. “Monsters are monsters, Dean. They are almost all under control here that we hardly have any cases to filter through.”  

“Just,” Dean ran a hand across his face. “Not all monsters are evil. Some of them, if not all of them, were human at some point or another in their lives. And they learn to live quietly.” 

 Amaya pressed her lips into a thin line. She had seen it before, monsters who had families and were living off the blood of livestock. Witches who never harmed anyone, but were still on the list because of a spike in magical energy that scared the council. 

“I guess Hecate lied about it not being our fault,” she hissed. 

“Hecate? You mean, long skinny, black eyes with silver specs in them Goddess of witches?” Dean asked. “THAT Hecate?” 

“Not as dumb as you look,” Amaya sighed. “Yes, that Hecate. We had captured her followers and one of them had invoked her. Nearly destroyed the bunker. That was the day Eileen told me I couldn’t have kids. I was almost crushed to death.” 

Dean stayed silent as her story sunk in. 

“Well then, guess whoever these witches are in Salem,” he groaned as he got up off the floor and held out his hand to her. “We’re going to have to ask them how we put things right.” 

As Amaya held onto his hand to get up, Dean pulled her a little too hard. She tumbled forward and almost fell, but Dean moved quickly to pull her toward his body. His arms wrapped around her as her hands pressed on his chest. They both froze as they stared into each other's eyes. Dean swallowed the lump in his throat looking at the woman in his arms. The familiar scent of Lavender mixed with gunpowder and... something else. Something he couldn’t put his finger on. 

“You uh,” Dean whispered and offered her a smile. “There’s something to your smell, I can smell gunpowder, Lavender, but there is something else. I can’t pinpoint it.”  

“Jasmine,” she answered. “It’s a lavender shampoo with a jasmine body wash. The gunpowder is obvious.”   

She dared to look into his green eyes. Eyes that were full of pain, and loss. Eyes that were of a stranger and yet, at the same time were familiar. His own scent hit her own senses. Gunpowder, leather, and whiskey. The leather was unfamiliar. She guessed, from the story he shared earlier, was from sleeping in the Impala for most of his life. 

The two of them stood in the center of the hotel room. Neither of them moved away. The deafening silence surrounded them as their hearts pounded in their chests. Dean was the first to break the trance as he cleared his throat and moved away. 

“We should…” he trailed off and pointed to the beds. 

“Right,” Amaya agreed. “We should get some rest. We have a bit of a drive.” 

“Yeah,” Dean said as he turned away and began stripping his clothes to get comfortable while Amaya did the same. 

“Night, roughneck.” she muttered once she was nestled between the sheets.

“Yeah, night, Ice Queen,” Dean huffed with a smile as he settled into the bed. 

Both of them layed in bed until sleep was able to consume them. The nightmares still played, but they didn’t dare to move as the night went on. By the next morning, the car ride was filled with the sounds of classic rock as they made their way to Salem. Being used to driving long distances on little sleep, Dean was able to convince Amaya to let it happen. It worked out in the end as they were able to make it just as the sun began to set. 

“Take this next exit and drive to The Merchant Hotel,” Amaya instructed. “Unfortunately I had to book us a king suit. The Lark.” 

Following Amaya’s directions, Dean found the hotel and parked the car as close as he could. Settling into their room, Dean pushed a few chairs together. 

Amaya bit her lip, “You know… we can share the bed.” she sighed. “It’s big enough for both of us and… I can ask for extra pillows.” 

Dean hated to admit it, but the bed did look inviting. And even though this Amaya wasn’t his, he couldn’t help but feel that pull towards her. 

“No, I’m good. I can sleep on that corner there where that bench seat is up against the wall. You can have the bed.” Dean cleared his throat. “Besides, I can’t stand cover hogs. And the way you hogged the covers at the last hotel makes me think I’m going to freeze to death in this room.” 

“Fine, jackass,” Amaya grumbled as she grabbed a few pillows and threw them at him. “I’m going to head down to the bar.” 

Before Dean could stop her she was already out the door. Running a hand across his face he let out a frustrated groan and continued to arrange the small couch so that he could sleep when he was ready. Once it was adjusted to how he wanted it, he made sure he had his wallet before following Amaya out of the room and down to find the bar. What he didn’t expect to find was Amaya hanging off the arm of a man dressed in a sharp suit, and perfectly combed hair. 

“Dean, ole chap! How have you been?” The man smiled as he walked up to Dean and shook his hand. 

“I’ve been great, uh…” Dean looked at Amaya for help. 

“Ketch,” Amaya interrupted. “Your drink is ready at the bar.” 

“We should catch up over a night cap and a cigar,” Ketch said as he made his way to the bar leaving Amaya and Dean alone for a moment. 

“That is Ketch,” Amaya sighed. “I guess British base sent him to make sure London is really what I want.” 

“He seems like a douche,” Dean snorted. “Is it what you really want?” Dean asked. 

“Ketch?” Amaya asked, confused. 

“No, London, is it what you really want? Or are you using it as an excuse to run away and never see Dean again?” Dean breathed. 

“It’s none of your business, roughneck,” she sneered. “Just don't get in the way of this hunt. Our research team worked very hard for this for some highschool drop-out to ruin it.” 

“And the Ice Queen makes her appearance,” Dean scoffed. 

“And the roughneck is just as surly as ever,” Amaya hissed. 

“Amaya, mi amor. ¿Cómo le ha ido?” Ketch smiled as he looked between Dean and Amaya. (Amaya, my love. How have you been?). 

Before Dean knew what was happening, the conversation between Ketch and Amaya turned into a rapid fire of Spanish. Nothing coming out of their mouths was slow enough for him to understand. Next thing he knew he caught the words, ‘estupido’ and Amaya glancing at him. 

“I’m not stupid, sweetheart,” Dean growled in her ear. 

 “Dean you look ragged, ole chap.” Ketch slapped a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that you and Amaya won't be tying the knot though.” 

“Still have a week left Ketchy boy,” Dean said through gritted teeth as he shrugged Ketch off. “But you had a long flight, from merry ole England, right?” 

“Not too bad,” Ketch picked at his nails. “But I was able to sleep on the flight.” he leaned in towards Dean. “Give it up ole boy. You took her from me once, I won’t let it happen again. You messed up and are paying the price. She’s mine.” 

“I love how you're an opportunist, Ketch,” Dean eyed him up and down. “But I won the girl. She has my ring on her finger. And if I have to drag her down that aisle, I will!”

Dean was shocked by the words that came out of his mouth. He was supposed to be going home. But here was this sleazy guy, eying Amaya like a steak dinner. He was the only guy, in any universe, allowed to do that.

Amaya sighed as she flopped down on her bed at the Clipper Ship Inn. In truth, it was probably a lot nicer than some of the motels they had ever stayed in, but it still had the motel feeling. Dean had gone off to grab some supplies as she began researching. She had tied up her hair in a messy bun as she always did when working. But there was something in the crime pictures that she had pulled up thanks to Sam’s hacking.

There, at one of the crime scenes, was the symbol of Hecate. The symbol was a five pointed star with a circle that had almost a maze-like pattern to it. Amaya tilted her head as she studied the crime scene photo. There was something else to the symbol, something that didn’t quite fit. Grabbing her phone she began to dial Sam’s number. 

“Hey Sam, I have a question for you,” She breathed just as Dean walked into the room with a bag of fast food. 

‘Uh, yeah, what’s your question?’ Sam tried to stifle his yawn. 

“Did you get any sleep?” Amaya asked softly. 

‘I’m fine, Cas says he’s going to do some digging up in heaven for something. Maybe there is a way to track Dean’s soul since it’s a part of our universe and not the other Dean’s.’  He let out a small huff. 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Amaya sighed. “Look Sam, about what I said… before I left, I’m--”

‘I know, Maya. You don’t have to say it. You’re in a bad place, we all are and we just want our Dean back.’ 

“As grumpy as he is, yeah. He owes me a Macarena,” Maya tried to lighten the mood. 

‘Yeah he does,’ Sam let out a small chuckle. ‘Just, be careful out there, okay? Don’t lose your head.’  

“Unless I’m dealing with the Queen of Hearts, I don’t plan to. Should get back to strategizing. We’ll start with the police station tomorrow once we get all the info we can get out of what you hacked for us.” 

Amaya never noticed Dean looking at the screen from over her shoulder. He had begun eating his grilled chicken salad. As he took a forkful into his mouth he tilted his head and put his food down next to her. Reaching over her, he zoomed in on the symbols and tapped on Amaya’s shoulder. 

“Put him on speaker,” he commanded as he grabbed a paper and a pen and began writing down notes furiously. 

“Um… Sam, I’m going to put you on speaker.” Amaya said. Her tone was full of confusion on what Dean was doing. 

‘Okay, is there something wrong with the research?’ Sam asked as the sounds of computer keys clacking came from the speaker. 

“No, no. It’s good work. I just need some books from the archive.” Dean pushed the paper towards Amaya so she could look. “If you can find a way to send us digital copies of the pages I need that would actually help.” 

‘What do you need ?’ Sam asked. 

“Okay, going to need Scriptura Deorum. It should be on the third shelf, third bookshelf.” Dean recited. “Then from the fifth bookshelf I need, Signum Deos. Next, you are going to the opposite side, bookshelf number ten, top shelf, Runes Anam. Last book might need to get back to us. It’s in the dungeon room. The title is called Siombail Anamacha.” 

‘Okay, let me repeat the titles, you want, Scriptura Deorum. Bible of the Gods. Then you want Signum Deos, Symbols of Gods. Then Runes Anam, Soul Runes, and Siombail Anamacha, Symbols of Souls?’ Sam sounded surprised. 

“That’s what I said.” Dean chuckled. “Omnia facere volo ire in domum suam.” 

‘Yeah, Dean. We know you want to go home.’ Sam translated and sighed. ‘Fucking weird hearing perfect Latin from you.’ Sam muttered. 

“I think that’s everything, Sam. Just let me know if we have anything archived that I can look at digitally.” Amaya said as she rubbed her temples.  “Necesito un trago fuerte.” 

(I need a fucking drink.) 

“¿Qué tipo de bebida quieres, cariño?” Dean gave her a devilish smirk. (what kind of drink do you want, sweetheart? )

“Can you stop that, please!” Amaya looked away from him.

“ No, no voy a dejar de ser quien soy solo porque te incomoda!” Dean exclaimed as he looked at Amaya. “Puedo hablar español, latín, japonés, ruso. Puedo seguir y hacerte girar la cabeza. Entonces, no, no dejaré de hablar los muchos idiomas que conozco sólo porque su amigo emocionalmente carenciado con beneficios no puede.” ( No, I will not stop being who I am just because it bothers you! I can speak Spanish, Latin, Japanese, Russian. I can go on and turn your head. So, no, I won't stop speaking the many languages ​​I know just because your emotionally lacking friend with benefits can't.)

“Sabes que? Te puedes ir a casa carajo!” She got up from her seat and poked at his chest. “no tienes derecho a quedarte allí y juzgarme o lo que tuve con MI Dean.” she seethed, her eyes burning with anger. “Podemos ser amigos con beneficios, pero todo terminará de todos modos.” She reminded him. “Una vez que te devolvamos a donde perteneces, no tengo que pensar en cómo tú y tu Amaya tienen una relación perfecta o un matrimonio perfecto o --” 

(you don't have the right to stand there and judge me or what I had with MY Dean. we may be friends with benefits but it's all going to end anyways. once we put you back where you belong I don't have to think about how you and your Amaya have a perfect relationship or a perfect marriage or--)

Before she could keep going, a knock interrupted her. Raising her eyebrow at Dean who simply shrugged, she grabbed her Colt M11911A1 with a custom lavender handle that Dean had gifted her for her twenty first birthday. Walking to the door, she cocked the gun before opening it to see a smiling Jason with a bottle of Havana Club rum and a box of Hoyo de Monterrey cigars. 

“Hi Amaya,” He said with a smile. 

“Jason,” Amaya whispered. 

Chapter 12 

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