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#11

The universe whispers quietly but constantly, pulling my attention to its deepest folds. Behind the simplest things (like a cockcrow, the soft caress of a thin rain, or the background noise of a television) hide unknown meanings, mostly inexpressible, perhaps because nobody has invented the right words to narrate them, yet.

If I listen to science, I’m told that the universe is a place of rules, yes, but most of all a place of coincidence, randomness. An objective material reality that, for some reason we still don’t comprehend entirely, constituted itself based on universal laws and mechanisms allowing all this to exist.

These laws are not the product of an intention, a purpose. They’re the product of cohincidence(s). It’s quite possible entire universes have exploded and then faded instantaneously. It’s also possible there are other universes so different from our that we couldn’t survive there.

I’m told that if I see two lightenings hitting ground at the same time, “same time” is an expression that only has meaning for me, in place x and time x. My perception of simultaneity, therefore, doesn’t reflect objective reality.

I wonder, though: if my perception is subjective, to the point of being in contradiction with reality, does this imply it’s irrelevant? That it has no importance? Are the abstract impressions in my head useless because they don’t exist in the objective reality? Maybe yes, they are useless. But this doesn’t mean they have no value.

My perception of simultaneity is useless but not valueless; just as my impression of synchronicity, even admitting there’s no purpose or intention behind the universe. You see, it’s not necessary to invent some kind of cosmic entity (like a particular deity) to explain synchronicity, for our own perception and imagination have concrete effects upon objective reality.

Reality is the product of our perception and our (un)conscious desire, so we might as well say our “inner reality” is a part of reality as a whole. There isn’t a clear border between inside and outside, individual and environment, individual and other individuals. When you understand this, notions like subjectivity, simultaneity and synchronicity assume a whole different meaning and importance.

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[3:08 p.m] ✧・゚:*  

smut (WARNING!!!) , slight fluff , cursing

image

“Baby”, Juyeon mused as your hips glided along his slowling hardening manhood, your hands placed on his solid chest for some support as you needily brushed against him. You couldn’t help yourself, his effortless charm finding its way to you from your desk in your shared bedroom when he came waltzing in half bare, fresh from the shower. He had smirked, kissing the dip of your shoulder as a silent hello before going up your neck with his lips, breathing in your scent deeply

“Look at you, can’t help yourself can you?”, His voice staggers as you continue your movements along his lap, his hands going to your bottom, squeezing it harshly to help you keep your pace nicely. You can’t help the whine that leaves you, the way your underwear brushed along that bundle of nerves with every sway of your hips. He throws his head back as he comes near his end, pushing you down harder just slightly to find it sooner rather than later. 

“Fuck, I’m close, keep going”, He grunts, those beautiful lips parted as his hair frames his face, a mesely few beads of sweat forming along his forehead as he finally is unable to hold himself together, releasing himself inside of his shorts, your own knot coming undone just a few seconds later. The both of you breathe a chuckle, and when his heartrate settles he pulls you to him, kissing your temple sweetly. 

“We should probably clean up now, we kinda made a mess”. 

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11/52 (part 1)

I felt really discouraged? overwhelmed? ambivalent? disconnected this week. This physical isolation thing is intense, even - or maybe especially - being with most of my family. It was a bit hard to find motivation this week when my work doesn’t seem to matter given the struggles of the world right now. Wednesday night I had been talking with my Mom and told her that it didn’t even feel like we were completely alive. The days are just blurring together.

Thursday, I woke up feeling particularly heavy in my heart. After the normal morning routine, I went downstairs to find that it was snowing. Everything was covered. It felt like winter was starting all over again. It snowed a couple of hours but by the end of the day it was almost completely gone.

Looking at the snow, I had the impression come that things can change in an instant. Following the impression, I had a flood of memories when that has been the case in my life for both good and bad. I thought of a time-lapse I shot in Petra of a sunrise that dramatically burst through the clouds. I also thought of the Temple of Baal-Shamin in Palmyra, Syria that was built, rebuilt, and stood for 2200 years before being destroyed in an instant.

Things may change, in either direction, so very, very quickly as has been shown on a world-wide scale recently. It can be the black of night when God chooses to split the dark with light, or it can be the gradual darkening of a physical or symbolic sunset. The concept for both is the same: and it came to pass. It comes and it passes. It doesn’t pass without pain, consequences, growth, or joy but it truly does pass as the light answers the dark. Every. Single. Time.

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