my sweetest downfall
Fandom: Doctor Who
Summary: Clara is dead and you are devastated, and abandoned by the Doctor.
Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, madness, attempted suicide, death, etc. You have been warned.
Clara is dead.
She was reckless. You have warned her to be careful multiply times. Clara seemed to think herself invincible or maybe she have some kind of death wish after Danny Pink. And now, she sealed her death warrant and not even the Doctor can help her overcome it.
But, Clara...she was brave to the end as she said her goodbyes to you and the Doctor. And then, the Doctor was taken away to who know where by whoever made Lady Me set the trap. You were left all alone with her body, heartbroken and at loss on what to do
You have no idea what happened with the Doctor. You don't know if he will ever come back for you. And, as it turned out, he never returned for you. You were obviously hurt by the abandonment but there is nothing you can do. The only thing you can do is accept it and move on with your life. It was hard. It was so hard most of the times. You are hurting and you are not coping well.
Five years had passed since Clara's death. You never saw the Doctor. You were dying now, diagnosed with a rare brain tumor three years ago after you got involved in a car accident which ironically revealed your illness. You had accepted the fact that you are dying. You spend most of your days in and out of hospital for treatment.
You smiled wistfully as you observed your collection of pictures of your selfies during adventures with the Doctor and Clara. You always made it a must to take pictures for your albums, a habit instilled by your late father who loves taking pictures and filming your mother and you long time ago. You were grateful for it as they contained so many happy memories of your friendship with them. You collected so many as you did traveled with the Doctor and Clara for many years even when the Doctor was still in his eleventh form. You even had some videos documenting the highlight of the adventures every time you were back inside the Tardis with some commentaries from both the Doctor and Clara.
Your eyes catches the picture of that last adventures with Clara and the Doctor, the days they received Rigsy's call. You remembered taking the picture. Clara was laughing smugly, you were grinning and the Doctor glanced at Clara with fondness. Your smile turned bittersweet as you glanced at the Doctor's expression. Tears filled your eyes as the memory of that time assaulted your sense. You blinked away the tears trying to focus on the blurry picture.
"I totally save you from having to marry a sentient giant tree!" Clara laughed gleefully.
You blinked a few times, disoriented to suddenly found yourself back inside the Tardis and staring at the ghosts of your friends. Your eyes widened as you saw the Doctor and Clara. "Clara?" You called out in disbelief.
Clara is still laughing at the Doctor then she turned toward you with a grin.
You felt like the floor beneath your feet could crumble any seconds. You moved quickly and throw your arms around Clara, surprising her.
"Oh, we are hugging now..." Clara teased you.
You could smell her, you could feel her, Clara is alive. How is this possible? You released her. "You are here..."
Clara and the Doctor exchanged confused glance at each other before staring at you.
"Are you alright, (name)?" Clara asked.
Before you could reply, the sound of phone ringing suddenly filled the console room. Everyone stared at the phone. You watched as Clara and the Doctor exchanged gestures at each other about picking up the phone. You know who it is. Dread filled your heart as you watched Clara picked up the phone.
Clara's voice become distorted as you suddenly feeling unwell as you felt yourself somehow being pulled away.
"(name)? (name)!" Grace, a nurse who is in charge of you, shook you out of your stupor.
You jerked awake in surprise and found yourself still on the bed at the hospital.
"Are you okay, dear?" Grace asked you in concern.
You blinked in confusion. Was that a dream? You forced a smile as you told Grace that you are fine. You glanced at the picture at your hand. Were you daydreaming of that day? But it was so real.
Grace talked to you about your current treatment but you can hardly focused.
That night, you couldn't sleep thinking about what happened that day. You gave up on sleeping and turned on the light. You picked up your albums and took the same picture as last time. You focused on the picture so hard your vision instead become blurry.
"I totally save you from having to marry a sentient giant tree!" Clara laughed gleefully.
You couldn't breathe. You shakily turned your eyes toward Clara who is busy mocking the Doctor. You really somehow traveled back to the past. How is this even possible? Or is this some kind of lucid dream?
And like before, the phone started ringing, without thinking, you goes to pick it up before the Doctor and Clara could. You were surprised you could actually do it because it was supposed to be Clara who received the call.
"We will be there." You said after listening to Rigsy.
The Doctor stared at you in confusion.
"Rigsy need our help." You said.
And the rest happened exactly as you remembered. You didn't focus much on the ongoing moment as you are busy wondering if you could somehow save Clara inside Trap Street later on. All you have to do is make sure she didn't ask Rigsy's mark to be transferred to her and then stopping the Doctor from falling into the trap.
You were able to prevent Clara from sealing her death warrant by reminding her about the Quantum shade's rule. 'You can pass it on but you can't cheat it altogether'. However, you were too late to prevent the Doctor as he was already had the teleport bracelet on his wrist.
"No..." You whispered as the Doctor disappeared right before your eyes. You could heard Clara calling out to him but it was too late.
Once again you felt yourself being pulled away from this moment.
You jerked awake on the couch at your apartment with a head-splitting pain. You fell on the floor as new memories flooded your mind. You groaned in pain.
You and Clara worried about where the Doctor has gone to. You both talked to Kate from UNIT but there is nothing anyone can do. The Doctor returned to pick up you two to your great relief but won't tell anything about where he was sent to.
The Doctor got a job as a lecturer in a nearby university. Clara teased him about it. You and Clara found out about Missy and the vault. Clara is a bit hostile with Missy. Missy mocked the two of you.
The Doctor wanted to give Missy a chance of redemption despite Clara thought she was a lost cause. The Doctor took you, Clara and Missy to answer a distress call. Missy being sassy as she mockingly acted to be the Doctor.
Clara got shot by a random blue alien after admitting she is the only human in the room, protecting you.
Clara became a cyberman and begged the Doctor and you to put her down.
You complied with her wish because the Doctor wouldn't do it.
Clara expressed her gratefulness for you.
You sobbed as you did what you have to do for her sake.
Clara is dead once more.
The Doctor dropped you off back at home without so much of word and never returned again.
You gasped and sobbed as the emotion exploded inside your chest. You mourned Clara's death once more. She is dead. And her death is so much worst than before. You couldn't believe it. The pain and guilt eat you up alive.
You sat on the floor for a while, trying to sort out your mind. You made up your mind to change it all again. You grabbed your smartphone and opened the gallery. All the pictures you have taken before still there with more new ones with or without the Doctor. You skimmed through some pictures that you don't even quite remember taking and stopped on the last picture of Clara and you, believing that was the last time the two of you are able to have one before her death.
You could go to that moment but even with your new memories, you weren't sure if you could somehow take charge of that moment as you felt like you didn't experience it yourself. You decided to keep it simple. You could warned Clara not to go with the Doctor and Missy. Yes, you can do that, can't you?
You nodded to yourself as you gripped tight your smartphone focused on that very picture until your vision clouded as you could feel like you are ripping the air somehow. But to your surprise, you couldn't. You focused again as hard as you can.
"We should go, (name), the Doctor said he needed to talk to the both of us about something." Clara said.
You gasped as you took in your surrounding. You were in some cafe with Clara. You turned to Clara and quickly said, "If the Doctor asked you to go on adventure with him and Missy, tell him you couldn't!"
Clara looked confused. "What do you meant?"
You opened your mouth to explain but you could felt yourself being pulled away.
You jerked away from the vision as your mother shook you awake in frantic. She found you on the floor, nose bleeding. "Mom?" You groggily called out.
"Are you having your episode again?" Your mother asked in concern.
"Your nose is bleeding again." Your mother gently wiped your face from the blood. She stared at your smartphone and sighed. "I don't know why you are so obsessed with pictures. You really are like your father."
You ignored her and go through your smartphone in hope there is new pictures of Clara but there is none. You have a sinking feeling that Clara had ignored you warning and thus still ended up dead. You didn't change anything it seemed.
"Get some rest, (name), tomorrow the doctor said she will start the new treatment."
"Treatment?" You asked.
"Have you even take your medicine today? Really, I think you should move back with me if you are not going to take care of yourself better." Your mother said as she gave you a bottle of pills.
You grabbed the pills and noticed it was the same pills you take before for your tumor. So, you still have tumor? Make sense, you suppose. You thought you were able to do what you did, changing the past, is because of your brain tumor. It sounded like a plot for a sci fi movie but you have no other explanation of why you suddenly able to do that. The doctor that in charge of you had said that your brain tumor is inoperable.
Distinctly, you know you should probably reach out the Doctor but he, once again, cut all contact with you after Clara's death. You thought he is mad at you, maybe for what you did to Clara, maybe because you are the one who survive instead of her, honestly you don't know what to think. All you knew is that he abandoned you again.
Your mother is still talking to you and you cut her off telling her you are fine and that she didn't have to worry. You said you wanted to rest. Your mother told you to go to sleep on your bed as she cleaned up your apartment. You felt bad for your mother but all you can think right now is to figure out how to save Clara again.
As you went to your bedroom, you noticed a journal on the floor. You picked it up and frowned as you noticed pages after pages of your writings how to save Clara and which moments you have tried to slip into in order to change the outcome. It was also noted on the journal, that right after Clara's death, you tried to change the past only to find out you can't. It wasn't until a car accident that the doctor discovered the tumor and you were only able to start changing the past three years afterward.
You frowned at that as it is exactly what happened to you last time. You had an accident, diagnosed with brain tumor and it was by chance, three years later, you discovered you were able to change the past.
Once again, you are tempted to call on the Doctor in hope maybe he could help you figure it out. But, you read a page where you wrote that you went back to the past and told the Doctor about your ability. He didn't believe you at first until you proved it. The Doctor is quite horrified at your abnormal ability and once he found out that you prevented Clara's death on Trap Street, the Doctor warned you of not changing the past again. He even forced you to undergoes surgery to remove the tumor in some alien hospital in a distant future.
The Doctor said that you are messing with Time and it won't end well for you. You were furious with him as you yelled at him that you were trying to save Clara. The Doctor realized that Clara's death might be a fixed point in time, that's why Clara's life will always be in danger. You refused to believe it
You were able to escape the Doctor by returning back to the very same moment before you told the Doctor everything. It was underline on a page in the journal the words: Don't seek help from the Doctor.
You exhaled at that. You are on your own. You have to somehow figure out this ability of yours and make use of it.
Unfortunately you didn't have a picture of the very day of the adventure where Clara will be dead. You thought about it hard and decided to go back to the past sometimes before the said adventure and left message to yourself to take a picture of that day. It won't be hard to do since Missy probably would love to be the center of attention during the test.
You grabbed your smartphones and found a picture of you, Missy and the Doctor. You recalled that it was sometimes after you let Missy out of the vault so that she can help save the Doctor during a troubling adventure.
Missy learned that you always take a group selfie every time during or after adventures and insisted that they take one with her since she did save the day. Clara had refused to be in the picture. In the picture, you grimaced uncomfortably as Missy making a silly face toward the camera while the Doctor looking bored. Clara was in the background, pouting.
You suddenly feeling solemn as you glanced at Clara's figure in the background. How can you save her? Will you be able to?
After you left a message for yourself back in the past, you came back to the present time and quickly grabbed your smartphone and sure enough there is a video of Missy dressing in complete Mary poppin atire with hat and umbrella, making silly introduction of herself as the Doctor much to Clara's exasperation. Apparently, it was at Missy's urging that you took video.
You frowned when you realized there is only video, no picture. You decided to try to use the video which still technically a series of picture. To your surprise, it worked.
"We picked up your distress call, and here we are to help, like awesome heroes." You heard Missy said.
You blinked, disoriented. "It worked..." You whispered in awe.
Missy still prattled on in a pretentious tone while Clara rolled her eyes at her. Missy turned to you who still filming the whole thing and winked.
Suddenly an alarm sounded loudly. Missy is being silly as she dance to the rhythm of the alarm but you quickly pulled yourself together as you glanced at the elevator. Missy and Clara were talking about the console on the ship and about the black hole. You grabbed Missy's umbrella and went to one of the elevator where you knew the blue alien man will appeared. You hit him in the head and he dropped with a loud thud much to everyone's surprise.
"What are you doing, (name)?!" Clara demanded as she run to check on the alien.
The Doctor also complained at you via the earpiece very loudly while Missy sit still grinned in amusement at you.
You grabbed Clara away from the man. "Doctor, we need to leave, the cybermen are coming."
That caught everyone's attention as they curiously stared at you.
"What has gotten into you, (name)?" Clara asked as she pulled away from you.
"We don't have time for this." You said with annoyed groan.
By then, the Doctor has gotten out of the Tardis, staring at you cautiously as if your a wild wounded animal.
The elevators suddenly let out a ding sounds and men dressed like a spooky Halloween patients in white sheets appeared, demanding the humans to go with them with their robotic voices.
The Doctor glanced at them curiously and then at you. His face looked confused.
"We need to leave now. They are cybermen, Doctor!!" You shouted and suddenly a loud boom sounded.
Everyone stared at you in shock.
You glanced at them and then at yourself, noticing a hole of where your heart should be. You were shocked but at least you weren't in pain. As you fell down to the floor, you could heard Clara's cries for you. You wanted to scream too as your mind flashed back to the journal and of the Doctor's warning that thing will not ended well for you.
You jerked awake with a scream. You couldn't recognize where you are. You were in panic as you glanced around you in confusion. And then suddenly, a head-splitting pain filled your head. You groaned in pain as new memories flooded you again.
You woke up to Clara's concerned face as she explained your still on the ship and that these people had saved your life. You found some sort machinery installed on your chest, apparently it was your lifeline.
You saw Razor grinned at you two as he explained the both of you current situation. Of course, you know exactly who he is as you warned Clara not to trust him. You begged her to trust you and that they need to get out of there before the Master converted the both of you to be cyberman. Clara did as you said as she discreetly trying to investigate the ship but both of you are stuck there until at least you are strong enough to move around.
Months later, you were finally able to move around. To make sure the Master does not suspect anything, you and Clara tried to act friendly with Razor as he is the only person on the ship that actually nice with you two. Clara had deduced a probable way out and tonight the both of you will try to make a run for it.
You considered to jump into another memories to avoid this outcome but your smartphone is gone. You have no choice but to wait for the Doctor to come for you and Clara.
Razor stopped you two, finally revealed who he is. You and Clara glanced at him in fear. He asked you how you figured out his disguise as he apparently been listening to your conversation with Clara somehow. You were paralyzed by fear and unable to speak as the Master threatened Clara's life. He shot at her using some unknown weapon. You screamed as Clara fell to the ground. The Master laughed like a maniac as he dragged you by the hair for more interrogation while ordering his men to convert Clara.
You had fought him, throw some stuff at him as you tried to get to Clara but he pulled a remote and pointed it at you. You dropped down as your new 'heart' electrocuted you. You hit your head pretty hard over a table before falling to the floor.
You woke up tied up on the chair with the Master hovering over you with cold eyes. He had no qualm about hitting you or electrocuted you via your new 'heart' to make you suffer. You were bleeding over the head. At this rate, you will probably die here without even be able to save Clara.
The Master is very curious wanting to know how you know about him and the cybermen on the ship.
You asked him if he has your smartphone and promised to tell him how you know if he let you show some thing on it. To your great relief, he gave you your smartphone, apparently humoring you. You weren't sure if it will work as you shakily opened the gallery and focused on one of the random pictures you have on your phone.
You could go to that moment and changed something there drastic enough to overwrite these events. If this didn't work, you would probably die here.
As you focused on the picture, to your immense relief, you could feel yourself being pulled into those very moment on the picture. The Master pulled your hair up as he lost his patience but by then you are gone.
"I think you may be forgetting how we got home from Mars." You heard the Doctor said.
"What, so now you trust her?" Clara demanded.
"No, so now he's getting Tardis maintenance for free." Missy spoke up mockingly.
You blinked as you tried to adjust to the new surrounding. It worked. You glanced at Clara. She is still alive. What can you do now? How can you save her? You really don't know anymore. If you can't rely on the Doctor, what can you do then?
"(name)?" Clara suddenly called out.
You glanced up at her, noticing everyone stared at you. You felt blood dripping from your nose. You put one hand over your nose upon noticing. You glanced at your bloodied hand and can only muttered some 'oh' in daze before your knees buckled under you.
The Doctor and Clara dashed forward to catch you as you suddenly dropped in one of their arms, you have no idea who. Your vision clouded black and you know no more.
You gasped as you couldn't breathe properly.
A blonde woman frantically came into room, fussing over you. You heard the sound of sonic screwdriver scanning you.
You tried to control yourself but it was hard. You tried to focus on the people that suddenly surrounding you.
"Doc, is she okay?" An old man asked in concern.
"What is wrong, (name)? Are you in pain?" A young woman asked you.
You don't know who these people are. You groaned in pain as another head-splitting pain assaulted you again.
You were in a coma. You woke up to the blonde woman's concerned and tired face. She smiled in relief at you and hugged you.
She told you she is the Doctor, that she has regenerated. When you asked her about Clara, she look sad and she said that Clara is dead.
Apparently when you are in a coma, the Doctor and Clara at first had stayed for you. But when months passed by with you still didn't wake up, the Doctor is worried for Clara's health and suggested a trip for a small break but they ended up answering a distress call...and the rest you figured happen exactly as you feared. Clara once again died as a cyberman.
The Doctor, upon finding out about your inoperable tumor, had taken you to an alien hospital where they had removed the brain tumor inside you. She is not willing to lose you so soon after Clara.
After the operation, you don't remember a thing about your ability. The Doctor welcomed you back to her Tardis, introducing you to her new companion.
You gasped out loud at the new information. They got rid of your tumor! "No!" You were horrified as you are afraid to lost the means to save Clara. Blood dripping on your lap. You groaned again as your vision clouded again. Your body started to convulze in seizure.
The Doctor yelped and jumped quickly for medical attention as you lost conciousness again.
You were in and out of conciousness but you distinctly heard the Doctor converse with the fam. Yaz, Ryan and Graham, your mind supplied. They were your friends too, supposedly.
"She has a tumor?"
"I don't understand. The doctors at the hospital assured me that she is free from them." The Doctor murmured in confusion.
Oh, good. You still have the tumor. You were relieved. And isn't it ironic that you actually grateful that the tumor is still with you?
The next time you woke up, there is only Yaz with you. After you drank plenty of water, you asked her if she saw your smartphone, saying you need to contact your mother.
She looked confused but she gave you what you wanted.
You observed the pictures on your gallery. There are many new collection with the new Doctor and your new friends.
You bit your lips as you observed the pictures. You and them looked happy. You shook your head firmly. No, you have to save Clara. Clara was your best friend, you will not abandon her.
But, how do you go about it? How are you going to save Clara? Which memories you should slip into?
You would have to think it over. But first you have to test if your ability still work.
You picked a random picture and focused on it.
You were with Clara and Danny Pink.
You blinked at him. You remembered these moment. You were tired at work and Clara invited you to have a night out with her, Danny and Adrian. They tried to set you up with their fellow worker but it didn't work out. It was the time where Clara admitted to you that she might be truly in love with Danny.
Clara had told you she is considering to stop traveling with the Doctor so she can focused on her relationship with Danny.
"Earth to (name)?" Clara waved a hand in front of your face.
You suddenly have a realization. Maybe if you saved Danny instead, Clara will make do with her intention to stop traveling with the Doctor thus rendering the dangers on Trap Street and the ship invalid.
You were so focused on this idea that you suddenly stood up, bumping into a waitress carrying a very hot soup which poured into your arms.
"(name)!" Yaz shook you out of your stupor.
You hissed suddenly as your hand automatically grabbed into your arm. You pulled the sleeve of your clothing and saw a hot angry blister on your skin that pulsed before fading into a normal again.
"What the...?" Yaz glanced at your arm in disbelief.
You had forgotten that she was with you. You glanced at your skin still, pondering about it.
Yaz wanted to tell the Doctor about what she saw but you told her not to. Yaz looked confused at your request.
You know now that your ability still work. You pretended to be tired, wanting to be alone to rest so Yaz left you alone.
After she left, you grabbed a nearby notepad and wrote: save Danny Pink, save Clara. Maybe? It worth a try.
You wrecked your mind thinking about the day Danny died. Where were you at that moment? You glanced at your smartphone, pick it up and skimmed through the pictures.
You saw a picture of you and your mother at some bakery. You frowned. You thought you could use it. It was on the day Danny died. The bakery located not too far from the scene of the accident. If you rushed to the street where Danny is, maybe you can push him from harm's way.
With that in mind, you put all your focus on that picture.
The Doctor entered the room with Yaz. The later apparently had ignored your request and tell on you.
The Doctor called your name but you ignored her in favor of the picture. She approached you and saw the note you wrote earlier. Her eyes widened before she turned to you. "What are you doing, (name)?"
You flinched at her tone but you continued to stare hard at the picture. You could feel it as you were pulled into that moment again.
"We should get that cakes too. It looked delicious." You heard your mother said.
You glanced at the street outside the bakery. You apologizes to your mother muttering about work emergencies and rushed outside immediately.
You ran as fast as you can. You were out of breathe. You saw Danny standing still on the street after hearing Clara's love confession. You called out his name but he seemed not to hear you.
You ran toward him and pushed him away from the oncoming car. But as you did, you got hit hard by the car.
You were in pain. Your vision is black and white now. You saw Danny hovering over you, trying to save your life.
You fell from your bed and as usual followed with the damn headache as you welcome the new memories.
You survived the car accident but you couldn't move very well now, having to use a walking stick.
You woke up to a bad news. Clara told you that your mother died during a robbery gone wrong. Apparently after you left the bakery, your mother went to a bank to get some money. It got robbed. One of the hostages tried to be a hero. There was a struggle and your mother ended up shot by a stray bullet.
You were crying on the funeral. Danny and Clara were by your side. Danny is extra nice with you for you did save his life. Clara tried to be there for you. The Doctor tried to comfort you awkwardly.
You were alone, trying to change the past once more but you can't. You thought a head injury like the last time the Master tortured you might do the trick.
Clara and Danny found you. They thought you were suicidal. They were concerned. The Doctor also concerned.
You pretended to be calm to get them to back off. You were being mean to them, trying to get them away from you.
That night, you cried as you stared at your mother's picture. You remembered what your mother said about your love of taking pictures reminded her of your father. Apparently, your father has obsession with pictures. Your father who died on an accident. Could it be...?
You grabbed one of the random picture of your late father. You focused on it but it didn't work. You hit yourself over the head a few times in frustation.
You must have lost your mind as you purposely giving yourself a concussion. You were unable to focus as your head filled with pain but you grabbed the picture of your father.
You pleaded for it to work and it did.
"Don't tell your mother about this. It will be our little secret, okay?" You heard your father said.
You felt like someone just punched you on the chest. Tears filled your eyes as you hugged your father.
Your father is concerned of your sudden tears. He glanced at you with a frown. "You are not my (name), aren't you? Are you from the future?"
You hitched a breathe. This confirmed it. "I need your help. I don't know what to do."
You told him about Clara, Danny and your mother.
Your father had said the same thing as the Doctor, not to change the past. It won't end well. He learned that the hard way.
"If you really think so, why do you keep taking pictures of the moments in our life? Those were insurances, right?"
Your father didn't confirm it but the grim look on his face pretty much say everything. "I tried not to slip into the past, not unless I have to."
He suggested you restore the correct time, letting Clara died on Trap Street. But you were stubborn, believing you can save Clara, Danny and your mother. You just need to plan it more.
Your father shot you a disapproval look. But before he can say anything, you were being pulled away from that moment.
You woke up on the hospital room. Clara, who is worried for you, had found you on the floor bleeding and unconcious.
You were strapped to the bed. They thought you are suicidal. You demanded to be released.
Clara had called the Doctor, inform him of your condition.
The Doctor, wanting to save you, invaded your mind. You put a door on your mind to stop him from finding out about your reasoning for fear he will try to remove the tumor, rendering you useless.
You fought so hard you ended up having a seizure. The Doctor had no choice but to leave your mind alone as the doctor in charge of you quickly tried to save your life. The doctor revealed to your friends that you have an inoperable tumor. They were devastated.
The Doctor wanted to take you to an alien hospital that actually have the technology needed to help you but is worried the consequence of changing your fate. Clara begged him to save you.
You woke up on that alien hospital, recognizing that what you feared about to come true. You pretended to be calm in front of the Doctor and Clara, asking for your smartphone, wanting to have a picture of your mother.
The Doctor looked suspicious of you but it is not like he has any idea of what the pictures on the smartphone are to you.
You were able to barricade yourself in the toilet where you frantically searched for the picture of you and your mother in the bakery.
Clara and the Doctor knocked on the door in frantic as they called your name.
"We should get that cakes too. It looked delicious." You heard your mother said.
"Mom..." You whispered in relief. You hugged her tight.
"What has gotten into you?" Your mother asked you as she hugged you back.
You pulled away from her, instructing her not to go to the bank, insisted that she promised much to her confusion. You gave her your wallet and then you dashed away to the street where Danny is.
You ran toward the street in hope you were not too late. You saw Danny and like before you dashed toward him but someone suddenly grabbed you away from him.
You watched in horror as the car hit Danny hard. You screamed.
The one who grabbed you dragged you away from the scene. It was then you noticed who it was. It was the Doctor. The female Doctor.
Your mouth dropped open as you saw her. She was staring at you grimly. You blinked at her. "How...?"
She showed you the note: save Danny Pink, save Clara.
You blinked at that. You glanced at her guiltily much like a child got caught with her hand inside a cookie jar.
She demanded you tell her how you were able to hijact your past self.
You clutched your head in pain suddenly much to her concern.
You jerked awake with a gasp. You opened your eyes and saw the female Doctor hovering over you in concern.
You have a mighty headache. You felt so weird getting stuck from one moment to another so helpless as you felt like free falling within it without safety. In your haste to overwrite moment after moment, you have no idea where you landed to.
You couldn't hear what she said as your nose started bleeding again and your vision is clouded.
You woke up to the concerned face of the Doctor and the fam. You didn't feel so good.
According to the Doctor, your brain is on fire. You are dying fast. The Doctor begged you to tell you the truth.
You laid weakly on the bed, unable to focus. You asked about Clara and your mother.
The Doctor said your mother is fine but Clara was dead a long time ago on the ship with the cyberman while you were in a coma.
You were relieved that your mother is alive but frustrated that you failed Clara again.
"Tell me how you do it, (name)." The Doctor asked.
So, you told her everything. She was horrified to learn that Clara supposed to die on Trap Street instead on the ship. She was angry at you for changing her fate, blaming you for Clara being converted as a cyberman.
You were angry at the Doctor for abandoning you in your time of need after Clara's death on Trap Street.
"I was alone without my so called friends! Clara was dead and I need you but you left me all alone! I am dying in that hospital, with regret for losing Clara and you! Wishing I could do better, could do anything to change my life! How dare you blame for wanting Clara safe!"
The Doctor glared at you but tried to compose herself. She shook her head. "No wonder I felt a sense of wrongness in you..."
You flinched at that.
"Your ability...that is not normal, (name), no human should have that kind of ability." The Doctor whispered.
You thought of your father but you didn't mention him to her.
"You need to fix it, (name). Reset everything."
"You are asking me to let Clara die!"
"You want to keep saving her even if someone else will pay the price? You very nearly lost your mother to your stupidity!"
"I don't want to be alone!" You cried out. "I will be in that hospital without Clara, without you! I don't want that!"
It was at that moment you realized maybe your motive for saving Clara is selfish, born from your desire not to be alone. But, it hurts. You tried to move on from them but you couldn't.
"You won't be alone." The Doctor grabbed one of your hands. "I will come back for you."
"How? If I reset this, this conversation never happened."
"I will find a way. I promise, (name), I will come back for you." She said.
You and her exchanged a long look. She gave you your smartphone. With heavy heart, you searched the picture that started all of these.
The Doctor glanced at you, nodding at you. "I will see you soon."
You glanced at her, knowing the Doctor lies. "Goodbye, Doctor." You whispered as tears filled your eyes.
"I totally save you from having to marry a sentient giant tree!" Clara laughed gleefully.
You blinked a few times, disoriented to suddenly found yourself back inside the Tardis. You smiled melancholy as you watched those two exchanged banters at each other.
The phone ringing loudly. You blurted out that it was Rigsy.
And the rest happened as you remembered it should be with one different. You suddenly hugged Clara and then the Doctor, knowing that would be the last day you would see them.
"You okay, (name)?" Grace had asked you suddenly.
You blinked out of your daze and gave her a small smile.
Grace nodded, writing something on your chart before leaving the room.
You glanced down at your picture album with a sigh before turning to look at the scenery outside your windows.
And so, you waited for that person to fulfil her promise even though you know it was futile. You were tempted to slip into one of the happy memories, just to relive that moments, promising yourself that you won't change a thing.
You picked up a picture from the albums and focused on it.
You always watching them with a bittersweet smile on your lips, watching them exchanged banters. Clara being all snarky with the Doctor not missing a beat to keep up.
You felt a sharp pain inside your head. You laid down to sleep. That night, you took your last breath in your sleep.
The wheezing sound of the Tardis filled the room but you no longer able to hear it.
A/N: Butterfly effect, anyone? This fic is inspired by that movie. Recently, I rekindle my love for the first movie of it. I just love the bittersweet ending where the main characters meet by accident again on the street but still walked away from each other. But the other ending where the main character erased himself is so painful to watch. Anyway, I very nearly give up on this story. The phrase 'keep it simple, stupid' come over me again and again in hope to get this over with. This will contain plotholes, please don't mind them.
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