...to tell him...
Hey, there, diary. I left the house today and it wasn't for just going to the library! Are you proud of me? Are you even sentient? No, probably not. But, y'know, I wouldn't be the most surprised.
Any guesses as to where I went? No? Fair. I went to... GoodTimes Cafè! It's a really nice place. I'd recommend it to you if you gave a shit. But then, you're a book and I'm talking to blank pages.
Anyways, GoodTimes Cafè. It's run by someone who used to go to my highschool back when I had friends and wasn't a crippling mess and Xornoth was actually alive.
Back then, however, it was run by his dad. A nice guy, no doubt. But then he died of some disease and his son was forced to run the place. As for who his son is, I didn't remember until I went today.
The place was nearly full when I entered. There was only one seat for two people in the corner of the room, perfect for looking out the window. I wasn't in the mood for cooking breakfast so I was here.
I ordered waffles and coffee 'coz why not. The guy working at the moment looked at me for a good minute before shaking himself and taking down my order.
I sighed and looked out the window, watching birds flutter from one tree to another, singing their joyous song. I'm not sure how I feel about them, honestly. Sometimes I think 'huh, what pretty creatures' and other times I think 'shut up for once'.
Anyways, I was there, contemplating life, when the guy working - what, is he the only working? - comes up with my food and a bright smile.
"I remember you, now! You're that guy from highschool. The one who argued with the drama teacher just to get the role of Juilliet in the play! I think the rumours said that you did that just to kiss a boy you liked?"
I pulled on a smirk - for old times' sake - and said, "I'm pretty sure I started that rumour." For the record, I did. I started that. It was true, though. I did use it to kiss a boy I liked. That boy just so happens to be Mr. I-met-at-the-library.
"Well, good to see you around! You've not been coming out much, as Owen tells me."
"Darling, I came out 4 years ago and it was a hard time."
The guy laughed and set down my food so that he didn't drop it. "Alright then. I'm Scar, by the way." I smiled at him and said, "I'm Scott, but I think Owen told you that."
It didn't occur to me that Scar knew Owen, really. Owen knows a lot of people I don't. And plenty I do.
He left with a grin, leaving me to eat my breakfast.
Just then, Mr. Library walks in. I watched him as he realised there was no vacant seat... except for the one just across from me.
"Hey..." he said hesitantly, "Mind if I sit here?" I nodded and gestured for him to sit down, unable to speak because my mouth was too full of waffle to do that.
Scar comes by to take his order, smiling at me as he does. God, does that man ever stop smiling? He gets an omlet along with some toast and a coffee.
"Uhm, I realised I never told you my name. I'm Jimmy."
And that's when everything clicked.
All I can think to say is, "That's nice to know. At least I'll have something to call you other than Mr. Library."
Jimmy snorted in laughter, "You called me Mr. Library?"
I rolled my eyes and said, "It's not exactly like you left me a name." To that, he shrugged.
Talking to Jimmy was surprisingly nice. He, as it turns out, is extremely easy to flirt with. I even got his number. Little by little, I felt the old me seeping back in through cracks I thought my brother's death closed up.
Maybe the old me isn't so dead after all.
part 1
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🦴 Nightalon 👀?
OH GOSH,,, welp here we go down the rabbit hole bc Nightalon is actually one of the oldest ocs I have!
How old? Well here was their original design when they were a tfp/YB character who was a Megatron Soundwave baby, purely bc I liked their designs. This design? Is over 3+ years old.
They were actually Just based off their name at first, I liked the name and thought it'd make a cool oc, in this first iteration their character was basically big goof who had an incident where their nodes were fried so hard they never felt pain, but were NOT indestructable. So they would walk into the con base bleeding from the arc and with no idea what was going on.
After that they became a StarSound baby I believe? Though I still barely touched their character. However when it came to figuring giving Radio a girlfriend in TFA I realized that I hadn't touched Nightalon in forever and found an interesting alt mode for them to take and hey I liked Lugwing so why not make them a lugwing baby... thing is this nightalon changed designs but not much in terms of personality.
OOF, yea but hopefully now you can start to see the basis of the modern Nightalon I settled on. I loved the idea of the triangle pattern suggesting stars without being too direct about it. I liked the general concept too but it needed working. So another design came along
So a while after designing that, I had watched a ton of video essays going over crappy romance media, from fifty shades of grey to the kissing booth to other ones, I started really wanting to explore more of the idea of how those kind of stories can warp the minds of young teenagers and lead to more unhealthy ideas of romance and dedication for them.... Then? I grabbed Nightalon and realized I could do something with this... I also really wanted to explore some more themes surrounding being trans n such and that all combined made for a much more interesting version of Night... One that was also HEAVILY based off Rebecca from Crazy Ex Girlfriend.
That leads us to modern Nightalon! With a backstory that faces struggles with her peers and a resentment towards her family. She threw herself into the very media and fiction I just mentioned.
If you've read Just A Girl In Love [If you look up the song lyrics, you'll see why I chose that song to be the title of her debut fic, its just too fitting-] you'll knew where this headed, she sees Radio, falls in love and while I really want to elaborate more on this in the form of another fanfic from her perspective I might as well spell out more of the subtle parts of that fic.
Nightalon is entranced in the idea of finding someone who she percieves as "Broken" and "Fixing" them, but the fiction she consumes has not given her any healthy ideas on how to do that. As her and Radio grow closer, Nightalon feeds into Radio's worst traits, she wants Radio to embrace her emotional instability, because it plays into her fantasies. It's not malicious but it is unhealthy, Nightalon thinks that Radio is perfect, that she doesn't need to change but instead just needs to run away with her forever and embrace who she is. Night does not trust the adults around her to help Radio due to her own truama too, and therefore tells Radio not to as well. She's not intending to, but she's treating Radio, her relationship with her and the world generally as a big novel where she is the main character and has all the answers. Where her delicate female touch will cure Radio of her depression and her issues and the adults around them just need to catch up with that fact. She's stuck up, views most of her family as somewhat beneath her due to their brutish and dumb nature, and sees herself as the protagonist with all the right ideas.
But reality will hit her hard and what will she do when it does? She didn't mean to hurt anyone, so does she double down on her innocence, or come to terms with having hurt the delicate rose no, the Person she loved more than anything in the world?
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