Does anyone ever think about how Jensen knew this was the last time Dean would get to hug Cas when he filmed it?
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okay but what if dean couldn't say i love you back to castiel in the dungeon is because dean was sooo embarrassed he thought cas was straight all those years so every memory where he wrongfully assumed castiel's sexuality came flooding back and then the pizzaman montage played on repeat a few times
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01/04/23
despair
the complete loss or absence of hope
reply to be added to the tag list
NOTE: in one of my classes we had to do a presentation about a story so of course i chose to make it about spn. li had to also make a poster but ofc i couldn’t be chill about it. so for anyone interested, here’s the original version:
also a close up:
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We were never lovers, and we never will be, now. I do not regret that, however. I regret the conversations we never had, the time we did not spend together. I regret that I never told him that he made me happy, when I was in his company. The world was the better for his being in it. These things alone do I now regret: things left unsaid. And he is gone, and I am old.
—The Wake, Neil Gaiman
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no but this little moment right here makes me go feral, cause he's so clearly NOT SURPRISED by the whole thing. a little shocked, possibly not understanding, but not surprised. when he tilts his head and kinda swallows, his face is literally screaming don't go there, man, like he's always known on some level, they both did, that's why he says "don't do this", don't speak it out loud, not if it means i lose you, let's just leave it like this, unspoken and undefined, but don't leave me here like this, just don't, and that's why he's also resigned, cause he knows it always ends up like this for him, cause he can't have what he wants and people who love him end up dead, cause he's that cursed, and it's about to happen again, so DON'T DON'T DON'T, STAY WITH ME
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Never getting over the way Cas’s dialogue when he thinks he’ll die in Stuck in the Middle (With You) parallels his final speech to Dean in Despair
Just !! talking about their time being the best prt of his life, saying the things they’d done changed him, even the willingness to let himself die so that they can live. And of course it’s all framed very generally, so it might apply to everyone, but his whole speech starts with Dean saying “Cas, come on” and Cas saying “No, you listen to me,” because this is what he has to say to DEAN.
Like, don’t get me wrong, the things Cas says applies to the others, too! That’s honestly kind of my favorite part of it: that he took all the things he wanted to say to Dean—the things he eventually would say—and chose the pieces that applied to everyone else, too. But his speech is FOR Dean, and the famous “I love you…I love all of you” drives that home, because that’s the moment Cas intentionally shifts his meaning to include the others.
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In 15x20 before they go into the fated barn, there is a glimpse of something (?) in the trunk of Baby.
Is this Dean’s jacket from 15x18 with the bloody handprint?
My theory: With no trench coat to carry around or ashes to bury under a windmill, Dean kept the last thing Cas ever touched with him at all times.
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okay but like. cogs turning .. last holiday truthing cwt maxxing… the sheer difference in dialogue between the script and the episode is killing me. the deliberate choices made to change said dialogue and even the ending…
like am I alone in thinking that this whole exchange in the dungeon was very oddly disjointed? very “nobody fucking talks like that” core. they just say shit but it doesn’t land with the other’s response.
and especially when you compare it to the draft:
for some reason or another, the writers deliberately cut out jack’s lamentation that he is still dangerous, that mrs butters is right to be doing what she’s doing, and that nothing has been the same between him and the Winchesters since he’s come back. they deliberately cut out dean saying “you’re one of us, and you have a chance to make it right.”
there’s also the glaring difference between how sam and dean defend jack in the episode vs the draft. in the draft, they say this:
D: “You said you didn’t want to destroy this family, but Jack is our family.”
S: “You hurt him, you hurt us.”
Mrs B: “No, he’s infected you. I have to keep you safe.”
D: “By trying to kill the people we care about?”
Mrs B: “No, he’s a monster!”
D: “Aren’t we all?”
•••
not only do sam and dean say that jack is their family and someone they care about, but they also explicitly hold themselves on the same monster totem mrs butters holds jack to (much like what dean said in tombstone, “we’ve all done things, so if you’re a monster then we are too,”
…which all then gets cut and turned into “He can save the world.” no, don’t kill jack, he’s our family and we care about him and he is good despite his mistakes -> no, don’t kill jack, he can save the world.
the explicit choice to center jack’s worth on his usefulness rather than his inherent value as the winchesters’ family and even just as a person, rlly speaks so much to the way he’s essentially narratively doomed to be dehumanized as a tool/weapon/device.
and the fact that this is all eventually preceded by Cas saying “you never needed absolution from sam or dean or me. we don’t care about you because you’re useful or because you fit into some grand design. we care about you because you’re you,” (which in turn is preceded by jack fitting into a grand design and fucking off to the raindrops forever), makes it seem either a painful inconsistency or some weird twisted inside joke between the writers (cough season 16 cough cough puke).
I haven’t posted about it a lot but I truly think there’s some vast trapped-in-the-narrative horror working around jack constantly being dehumanized both within the show as a living weapon and by the writers themselves as a plot device.
shits wack I guess
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Who are three people I want to be stuck on a desert island with you ask? Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles and Richard Speight Jr. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS about 15x18 and I would like to ask them in an environment where there is no escape. Please and thank you.
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