#16 year old me could never

[the-fandom-queen]

I have this teen wolf headcanon that the reason Deaton started teaching Scott all this veterinary stuff that was far too advanced for a teenager working part time was because he thought Scott would make a good emissary in the future and so he was going to eventually introduce him to the world of the supernatural and train him to be one.

#I don't know I just think it's a really cute idea #Because while Scott is obviously a good leader and a good person I can totally see him as an emissary too if he never got the bite #But also this could just be me trying to explain away the ridiculousness of Teen Wolf because who is teaching a 16-year-old how to set cast #On dogs like bffr #Anyways #alan deaton #scott mccall #teen wolf

[thatobiwankenobiplace]

The way Obikin naysayers reject the ship on the basis of Anakin having said Obi-Wan was the closest thing he had to a father - as if that fact ISN’T the fundamental basis for Anakin’s co-mingled longing/attraction for Obi-Wan given his psychological makeup in the first place - is genuinely puzzling to me. 

When Anidala itself is so blatantly the product of Anakin’s Oedipus Complex, why is it so difficult to see that Obikin could so easily spring from the same well of longing?

#it's just more puritanical bullshit tbh #and puritans eschew critical thinking on narrow-minded principle #I mean I was a teenager when the PT came out #and the concept of Obikin when I first learned of the ship made perfectly natural sense to me #firstly Obi-Wan is hot AF and there's only 16 years between them #Obi-Wan's honestly just in that annoyingly attractive middle ground where his added maturity makes him hotter... #...but he's not actually old enough to be your father lol #and he and Anakin basically spent upwards of a decade living in each other's pockets while Anakin was a hormonal teenager #and the number of teenagers that are attracted to people much older than them is in fact extremely common #additionally Anakin never had a father so there's a specific sort of longing in him that could only be satisfied by someone older than him #and I say this being fatherless myself and having frequently experienced attraction to older men specifically *because* they're older lol #and them having ''fatherly'' vibes only added to the attraction rather than detracted from it #my random ramblings #me talking to myself in public about Star Wars #obikin

[possiblytracker]

me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me

one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better

another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(

#alcohol / #drinking / #ask to tag?? #weekend was eventful #like 30+ people turned up for this fucking party its the most relatives ive seen in one place since 2018 #there was no hitting people with big sticks but someone did get pushed off a trampoline into a nettle patch #which i was not present for i went to bed early(ish). but funny nonetheless #my brother is a BAD INFLUENCE he just kept handing out beers to the cousins his age and getting them absolutely sloshed #people who like. hardly ever drink or even never have before #so the late night campfire was an Interesting Time #very irresponsible he got in so much trouble over it bc hes only allowed to drink if hes responsible about it.. #which means not peer pressuring other 16 year olds. #several of which said later they dont remember anything after 11pm????? guys your LIVERS. thats NOT SAFE #im still on my anxiety bullshit tho i have a presentation to turn in Tomorrow Morning and i have no meds and am tired as fuck #and i DO kinda think people could possibly be mad at me but im just. not thinking abt that right now i have enough on my mind <3 ill die <3 #i miss my friends im a wet shaking animal but if i talk to anyone and turns out they ARE mad i will evaporate into a fine mist i am sorry

[medusa-was-innocent]

They took waiting room off spotify

#I’m literally devastated #don’t text #how could they do this #it’s homophobic #check in on your annoying friends we’re really going thru it rn #music #waiting room #phoebe Bridgers #women in music #mine #genuinely I’m sad about this even if she does re record it I live the version that was up #like I know she doesn’t like it because she said it’s cringy and you can tell a 16 year old wrote it but that’s exactly why I love it #like it’s young and raw and feels exactly as desperate and madly obsessively in love as only a heart eyed kid can be #like she really captured that feeling of wanting something so strongly but knowing it’s not yours and feeling helpless like a child #because you just know you’ll never have if no matter how much you wish for it #it’s a kid singing about how desperate they are and the desperate teenage girl inside me feels seen #i don’t want a more mature and understanding version I want the version that feels like a heartbreaking and beautiful tantrum

[khaotunq]

finally going to go upgrade my phone because i deserve nice things and also to be able to actually do anything on it lmao, log in to my 3 account because i've been poking at the website for a week and i have finally MADE A DECISION

to find that

the monthly cost over 36 months (frankly insane) is £2 more when i'm already a fucking customer?

because i have been a customer for 10 years i have the pleasure of paying £72 more overall? die. die die die. die.

#and so i will continue using my old phone and never upgrade and #i can't do anything that new phones can do but fkdgjsdhgskj #i could go into the store but. sdfjklafsj #thanks i hate it :) #i can't trade my current phone in or whatevre because it literally is worth £0 #the website really thought about it before it gave me that whopping total too #which i feel is just mean #i used to work for a phone company that used to be my job #i am sO MAD about EVERYTHING #the 36m contract isn't as wild when you consider i've had my current phone for 8 years but still #an EXPENSIVE contract used to be £40 a month and now it's the fucking standard? #(i say #complaining that my monthly contract would be £16 instead of £14 not including the phone repayts) #it is thE PRINCIPLE.

[shopcat]

just thinking thoughts trying to articulate them but re: trans names and even "stereotypical" trans names i just think it's like. luckily it's died down for now at least on here or maybe i just follow people who aren't assholes but seriously what was with that whole era where people just made fun of people's names or tongue in cheek poked fun at each other with a little too much cruelty let alone done by CIS people... like that's so weird. like i do have what i'd call a Stereotypical Trans Name in that it's unusual and "weird" to other people and it's not even actually like, the most out there or individualistic thing ever it's just kind of an old timey name that isn't as popular anymore but i chose it specifically bc it was a "proper" name. and i STILL get shit for it like all the time. and it's just like. why do people CARE...

like. i know you can't make grand sweeping generalisations for a group of people as varied as every trans person on earth but for a lot of us i'd go ahead and say your name as a trans person and even just AS A PERSON... A HUMAN BEING is an important part of who you are and ties into your identity to a degree that differs from person to person. and for a trans person specifically can be one of the only things you have for... yourself, along with pronouns, especially in online spaces/if you're not out/if you are out but struggle for whatever reason to even be given the dignity of being called YOUR OWN NAME, etc. i'm not gonna harp on about that aspect forever bc i think we all know but it's just like, in the face of that annoying tiktok cunts making a list of "every transfem is called [blank] and every transmasc is called [blank]" and there being 6k comments talking about how stupid and unserious it all is is just NASTY. like man shut the fuck up 😭

i don't find it funny like 95% of the time i think it's just like mean ... i also know people could probably read this and be like shut up you're being annoying it's not that deep but like whatever man. i think it's basic decency to not make fun of people for something that's a part of who they are especially if that identity puts them at risk which to be real can affect pretty much everyone other than white cishet christians etc at FAR worse severity/cost and i think instilling the idea that "people's names are fair game" outside of actual tongue in cheek intercommunity good faith joking around is actually Bad. not that i'm actually comparing these things bc it's not 1:1 and has different levels but still i think it comes from the same like... source. the amount of times i've had people use my own name as if it's a gotcha in anon hate is actually astronomical and half of them don't even realise they're BEING literally transphobic is crazy. i mean i've joked about it and i don't take it that seriously but it's still like, transphobic and i hate these people it just also doesn't bother me because i'm a normal person who isn't actually insecure about it and who literally cares what someone's name is. and xfiles girls love me unintentional side effect.

#🐾 #like don't get me wrong i did pick the name bc i thought it WAS cute and a bit different and that made it like fun but like ?! how is that #a crime 😭😭 people naming themselves after nouns or angels or fictional characters has been happening forever first of all. and second it #just so seriously doesn't even matter #i also know that the notion of being like ''it's actually transphobic to make fun of a trans person who having a really typical western #english name'' could be weird bc like obviously they're not being targeted for THAT that's not what i'm saying it's just like. mean #to do to someone who chose their name (usually). esp if they're younger too like why are people bullying kids ... get a job ?! #i dunno... just thinkin... #also obv not comparable to you know. racism or antisemitism or antiblackbess etc and the way names being targeted there works #but it's also not like the asshole 16 year old boys on tiktok aren't also holding the same ideals #and i also don't really mean those things that are like Haha every transmasc is named [list of typical bames] though it is annoying #that's just like. well. like i said annoying. i just mean the amount of cunts who have been like is your name REALLY that #i can't believe that's your name i'd never take you seriously if that's true ... you mean that's your online name right like a pseudonym.. #you don't Really go by that it's not REAL it's something you CHOSE it's not Serious #LIKE DAMN!!!! shut up 😭 #also i actually have seen ppl make fun of a cultural name bc they thought it was a ''trans'' one and therefore fair game #''your name is literally [blank] 💀'' like ...?! #anywya this isn't super serious tldr it's just kinda weird hmmm...

[steevejr]

it’s very interesting being an adult (28) working with teens (16-20) and having moments when you can feel this teen, in interacting with you, just learned about how to behave appropriately in a situation they’ve never once encountered before. it’s palpable.

#had a convo with a teen who told me he hated wasps with a passion and in return I said I like them a lot (1st time he’s obviously #encountered someone who liked wasp—realization 1) #and because this kid has never been in a convo with an adult who disageees with him his follow up was telling me about how he knew someone #who would violently go out of his way to douse wasps in wasp spray. and unlike every other human he’s talked to I said #‘that’s not an ok thing to do and I would rather not hear about violence towards animals that I like.’ and let me tell you the befuddlement #and horror…. I think this was the first time he had realized he committed a major social faux pax #you could cut his discomfort with a fucking knife. and good thing he learned this lesson from me and not a 16 year old girl he might’ve #been chatting with who would just awkwardly laugh without saying anything and ghost him forever. #the amount of people who don’t learn this lesson in social etiquette is astounding. let me tell you the amount of men I’ve had to execute #becuade id mention how I like deer and they’d need to explicitly describe every deer they’ve ever hit… the social etiquette critical miss…. #a day in the life of steeve

[timeisacephalopod]

I saw a post the other day that kinda pushed back on the way all coming of age movies are about sexuality and all high school stories basically center around who wants to fuck who and how that's like. Not really all coming of age and high school stories should offer since you know. Youth isn't about who you have a crush on and probably coming of age stories in particular should be far more diverse in subject matter than they are.

Honestly as someone who, when I was 'coming of age' age, hated coming of age stories and still do for the exact reason listed above (see the weird scene in It where we all sexualize a 13 year old girl because boys have crushes and surely there's no other way to portray this than feeling a child up with a camera to demonstrate boys have ~feelings~ Bev gets no equivalent scene because she's the object of affection rather than the subject feeling desire) I also wish there was diversity in those stories. And coming of age stories about adults- we don't stop going through huge life moments that change everything forever, but back to kids. When I was a kid I could have desperately used a coming of age story where the character has a sick and dying parent who does die by the end of the story and what happens after that. Granted I did just fine without it, but even without being asexual it's always irked me that coming of age stories don't seem to appreciate that kids have way larger problems and way better stories to tell then first crushes and first kisses for shit sake give kids who went through what I did as a kid some kind of story about what happens when your parent gets cancer and how complicated that is and stop assuming the biggest thing that happens around puberty is discovering sexuality that, if you were queer, you probably already noticed what you felt wasn't in a coming of age story anyway.

#winters ramblings #id actually LOVE to see a coming of age story about an immigrant child moving to a new country #and have the coming of age center around THAT instead of these bizarre vaguely adult explorations of sexuality #that honestly ive never related to anyway like maybe the allos get it but even THEY deserve more diversity in stories #SURELY even your local allos have a dad dying of cancer they desperately need to know what to do with #like deadass a therapist told me at 26 i was robbed as a child because of what i went through and i STILL cry when i think of that #but no coming of age is all sex shit because children according to adults dont have real issues #which tells me adukts writing the stories are MASSIVELY privileged or stunted by execs or straight up assune kids wont watch #a REAL coming of age story. also i want a coming of age story about a 40 year old who is going through a career change #and the struggles that come with late career change. the benefits of a late career change. all the complicated family goo around all this #just give me decent stories that arent too focused on fycking RELATIONSHIPS for once. have them there sure i dont care #but for FUCK sakes can we stop pretending a 13 year olds biggest concern us who they have a crush on?? #my dad was DEAD and i knew only one other person who lost her mom way younger than me at 8 #we did not understand each other and how could we when our situations were so different. BOTH of us were so highly alienated #because NO ONE not even each other could relate to a lot if the people around us. the only thing we DID have in common #was the sick feeling we got when someone would bitch about their parents having fair expectations or not giving them literally everything #we both had an 'at least you HAVE parents to hokd you to reasonable standards and all you do is SQUANDER it' even if our feelings werent #faur to our peers anymore than their feelings were fair to us. wheres the coming of age story about THAT #tell me a story about a 16 year old whos mom has been dead HALF her life already like my friend. i was lucky enough not to deal with that #until i was 24. she deserved better out if high school and coming of age stories too. believe it or not kids have REAL lives and problems #and im SO tired of no one writing anything but some sad kids books about it even if the books are SOMETHING to start with #like for shit sakes must NICEthat the worst thing YOU went through was realizing you had a sexuality but my queer ass #ALWAYS knew i was different and highschool highlighted that a BUNCH so unless we're exploring aroace teens that doesnt appeal either #great yet ANOTHER story about straight teenagers because THEYRE the ones who need guidance on how to express themselves #like they dont see strsight people storoes and sexuality EVERYWHERE plus the ACTUAL opportunity to date in high school #that most queer kids dont get or dont get in the same way. why is THAT the only story being told when its the most saturated and BORING #and also ignores that kids have REAL issues and NO angency. explore THAT. do ANYTHING but yet another fucking coming of age story #about straight kids having crushes on each other and thats IT like come on SERIOUSLY

[drydak]

every so often i think about the vague st buffy au that exists in my head that will never see the light of day….i wish i could do her justice :(

#i have such a hard time with aus that don’t map characters 1:1 bc i can’t get my head around it #like objectively nancy would be buffy but steve is my special girl so i prefer making him buffy. but then the premise of the slayer is ?? #and robin is willow but there’s no xander thing unless it’s with nancy filling xanders place with 0 of his charscteristics #but ultimately she ends up with vickie as tara…giles is hopper but then thematically el would be better as the slayer. and any of the kids #could be dawn but it’s probably el or max #eddie as faith is real to me bc i love spike but objectively there was a lot of fucked up shit in their relationship #and angel is a like 300 or whatever year old vampire who’s into a 16 year old girl. so. hate him on principle #chrissy as a nicer cordelia is in there somewhere…joyce as ms calendar rules. and she lives. #anyway this is never happening but i love the idea of it so much i just like 2 think about it sometimes….😪

[surrender-souls]

i need to make a trans allegory now.

#i hate this life the person everyone knows isnt me #shes my sister and i killed her and now im wearing her skin around and no one knows it #no one even noticed. no one knows me they all know her and god im sick of this #i want to have my own life i want to be able to meet people for the first time in my life #im 16 and no one has ever met me in the flesh. no one knows who i am. my parents have never met me #have never seen me. i dont know if theyll ever be introduced to me. #its the problem i had long ago i was so lonely because no one really knew me. and no one does still. #its an awful thing but im almost through ill go away and try to redo these years but it makes me sick #i want to live like a normal person i want people to call my name i want silly posters on my wall i want to complain with my friends #about the small things because the big things wouldn’t exist. i wouldnt think of death when things go against me #im worried ill fall out of guitar again i dont want to panic but i dont want to loose guitar its a passion of mine but i dont know #if i can support it on my own and if i cant i dont want to lose it or else ill cry and think of death again #and i wish there was a world where i could have lived like any other teen and have a happier time #and i wouldnt have to spend my time when im allowed to be out to mourn everything that prevented my happiness and health #ive had a teacher tell me getting older was awful when i was so happy for it to come #i want to get older i want to get old and i want to be able to prevent this. i dont want another one to experience this unhappiness #its such a certain feeling and you can see its not one you can get out of easily. you have to wait it out #im very happy to be trans it makes me feel so right but the limitations given to me by the world because of this #are horrible things. its like being disconnected from everyone else. watching them but never being able to be them #a distinct alienation not borne from any hatred from these people but from the things i am not allowed #i speak

[flightplan-fox]

i listened to it for the first time in years today and i realized…

i cut my hair

i got us out

i found a place that feel like home

#i just…. #i used to cry to this song #wishing i could cut my hair #wishing i could leave and find a place that could be home #and now almost 3 years later #i’m doing it #i actually made it #i wish 16 year old me could see me now #i wish i could talk to them #it gets better kid #you figure it out #you find people who love you for who you are #you’re turning out okay #i’m reeling #i never thought about how far i’ve come #cedar talks #Spotify

[sacha-da-1]

I am current hugging 2016!me and telling her she is beautiful just how she is and I love her.

#it’s like looking a mirror #it’s like seeing an old friend again #this was when i finally started breaking free #sure i relapsed into my old ways for awhile mainly to protect myself #and i’ll never blame myself for that #it was a scary time and i was so young #but it’s beautiful seeing some freedom in the old me #i was free as i could be at 16 #17/18 year old me felt the need to fall back for more reasons than one #but i’m older now and i can be who i am again

[stuckinakillingjar]

i hate men. I HATE MEN.

#i just got catcalled for the first time in my life #if you can call it that #my mom dragged me to go bicycling with her and we drove past a kiosk ok #and look i fucking hate bicycling and my ass and legs hurts so i looked a bit miserable and angty #angry #like i usually do lmaooo #anyways do we drive past that kiosk and there were like two hippie dudes outside who were like AT LEAST 60 years old #and like i didn't expect it at all and was shocked so i couldn #couldn't reply to them but one of the dudes went: 'smile you always have to smile sister! come on smile' #and i like didn't even look at them and tried to catch up to my mother #THEY DID IT IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER TOO?? #it left me feeling uncomfortable and it made me so mad i wish i could rewind time to tell that son of a bitch to go fuck himself #i never thought that this would happen to me #like i'm fucking 16 don't even look at me on the street motherfucker #nica.talks #sorry there are some spelling and grammar mistakes in here that i'm too lazy to correct just know that i noticed them too lmao

[raeofgayshine]

Me: *reading a fic I never finished for a fandom I’m no longer in*

Me: I could fucking finish this. I could do it. I shouldn’t. But like I could

#ravenpuff rambles #honestly the main reason I shouldn’t is there’s good reason I’m not in that fandom #like ‘if 16 year old me had taken the time to realize it’s kind of fucked up I never would have been in this fandom’ reasons #the story is also a bit of a mess at points but I wrote it over several years and sidnt know things I do now #I still think it’s cute. I think without the fandom I could reason my way to finishing it because even though it’s a mess it does improve #and I like the storyline or at least the energy behind it #but even though it’s still on my profile on ao3 I just can’t seem to convince myself to finish it without feeling ashamed #anyway

[str3wbshortcakee]

i’m proud of the person i became ever since 2023

like improved mental health and i have good coping mechanisms now? damn

i mean i still have some struggles but honestly i am kinda proud

not for my grades though, i am slipping despite doing my best 💔

#school #i wanna kms #joke #the 16 year old in me who wanted nothing more than to die is happy rn #i never realised things could change sm for the better #i mean yeah still in a lowk bad family situation #but everything else has been going somewhat well for me