#16?17? yr old me was so powerful

[redhead-batgal]

I hope you do oh miss believer part 3 sometime soon! It’s ok if you’re not feeling that story anymore tho <3

Type: Fic

Part One: Here, Part Two: Here

Pairing: Fem! Vigilante! And Meta! Reader x Damian Wayne/ Robin

Content: Violence, language, flash backs, depressive thoughts, angst, and aged up Damian/reader to 16/17 yrs old

Word Count: 2,573

(P.S: Soooo I can try to write a reaction of the bat fam to the end of part one, or I can write the next part of this one next time. Let me know what y'all want in the comments please! also get ready for some fun angsty angsty times)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are many things in this world that seem unnatural. Paradoxes or impossibilities. People tend to fear the unnatural, to ostracize it and even harm it. Regardless of whether or not said impossible and unnatural thing is living- regardless of if it's human.

To humanity, unnatural things were to be feared and destroyed. They were threats, in a way, to the "peaceful" society that had been created through blood shed and inequality. A society that has classes and impoverished people that kept growing and growing; saw things they deemed unnatural not worthy of life. Why is that? Why does such a society fear so greatly the unnatural, the unknown and impossible?

It seemed to you that they feared the unnatural because the power of mystery gave it. Because what they do not know, they cannot control. And if they can't control something, it cannot be a part of society. Which unfortunately meant you were left on your own; fighting to survive against an environment that deemed you a danger. Even more unfortunately, for society at least, you had bad habit of becoming everything everyone feared you'd be.

An unnatural danger, set on destroy the society that cast it out.

How very, very natural, right?

You could still remember the very first time someone deemed you unnatural- unworthy of comfort in this shitty shitty world.

You must have been no older then six, out scrounging on the streets for pity coin you could use to help your parents out. A rattied hat made from old newspaper by your side as you made your misty and small illusions appear. Desperate for anyone to take an interest. Unsurprisingly, the person who did was anything but kind and far from merciful.

The small boy had shouted at you, laughed, sneered and beaten you to a bloodied pulp. Stealing all of the meager change you had managed to earn as he called you a witch over his shoulder bolting away.

While this was your first actual encounter with such people, you were not surprised. Your mother had warned you of such people.

"Vicious monsters," She had said beginning to explain why you had to be careful in the world, "they like to prey upon those they deem weaker, those who they think are unnatural and strange."

She shook her head as she continued to knit, though somewhat sloppily, "They don't like people who they can't control, they don't like that you're different."

You looked up at her with wide eyes as you tilted your head and she paused. She let out a soft sigh before setting down her knitting and pulling you into her arms.

"My sweet little miss believer, this world is going to be cruel to you simply because you exist. There's nothing your father or I can do to stop it other then pulling you in close like this and letting you know they are wrong."

She rested your head against her chest as she began to rock slightly squeezing you in her arms as she softly began to hum.

"They are wrong because you are a darling gem. A wise and wonderful girl who should not let the world push you down."

Cupping your face in her hands she smiled, tears lining her eyes, "You are my little miss believer, you know many things and have such faith. Do not allow these people to cause you to lose that faith. Faith in your father and I, faith in humanity, faith in your own skills or just merely faith in yourself."

Her words rang far too deep into the truth. Scars, both physical and emotions covered your body the older you got. But you still had your mother and father there, to nurse your spirit back to its brightness... until you didn't anymore.

The night was dark and growing colder and colder by the minute. Your father had disappeared merely a week before and you did not plan on letting him stay gone without answers.

Lurking around the usual street corners you heard the crackling of thunder and through the dense musty smell of Gotham's streets, you could smell rain. Sweet and clear, dancing in the clouds yearning to be released. Pulling your jacket in closer, you slipped down an alleyway, hoping to find answers and remain unseen. After all you had a reputation for causing trouble amongst the rouges and criminals, and tonight was the last night you needed trouble to catch you once again.

Though you had not heard of any rogues causing any chaos, you knew better then to trust the night would remain silent. It's current silence sent shivers down your spine. Silence was a deadly tool, used to confused and trick the naive into false senses of security. It was a tool you yourself had used and yet- something about tonight's silence made you on edge.

Looking around you almost sensed danger as the hairs on your arms stood on edge. Your heart racing as the silence screamed into your mind. Just as you had settled with yourself to finally venture home, a hand clamped down on your shoulder.

A shriek of sorts almost escaped you and you turned to find your fuming mother.

"Y/n! I thought I told you to be home before eleven?"

Though startled you merely blinked, allowing your mother to drag you back down the alleyway, towards the way home. Your heart hammered in your chest. Regardless of all your broken promises to come home on time, your mother had never- ever come out looking for you.

"Mom," You said, finally finding your voice, "what are you doing out here?!"

Your mother froze tilting her head a scowl of sorts on her face with dropped almost instantly. She let go of your hand and slowed to a stop, looking you over she sighed, taking a moment to tuck your hair behind your ear.

"I was worried, I heard that one of the nastier rouges was out tonight and I didn't want you to be out."

At first a wave of warmth washed over you. It, however, turned icy cold as you processed the rest of your mother's sentence.

'One of the nastier rouges'

Your heart skipped a beat and you grasped onto your mother's hand. Swallowing you met her gaze and forced a slow breath out.

"Mom, which one did you hear was out?"

It took her a moment to reply, as her brow furrowed, and she squeezed your hand.

"The Joker."

Your heart actually stopped, you struggled to breath as news reports and alley whispers raced over your mind.

"I heard that the bats pissed joker off so he's shooting for a big one this time."

"I heard that he lost Batman's attention and wants it back."

"Well, I heard that he's finally sick of his cat and mouse game and plans on taking as many civilians as possible with him when he goes."

Finally breathing again, you pulled your mother forward. Heart racing as your mind screamed to run. Your legs began to pump, your mother stumbling to keep up behind you her soft protests barely catching your ears.

"Shit- oh shit, mom we've gotta go."

You had just come up on a corner, knowing once you went down the alley just by here, you'd be two blocks from your complex. It didn't help though, your heart hammered to quickly you could hear your own heartbeat without even thinking about it.

"What? Honey," Your mom began shaking her head and causing you to stop, "it's fine we're almost home and-"

Your mouth began moving before you could stop yourself and you began pulling her again, finally rounding the corner, "No mom you don't understand this guy has been amping up his attacks recently and-"

Just as you did you came face to face with a goon in white makeup and a sinister red smile. He raised something strange, and time seemed to slow as you heard him pressing on a trigger.

"Y/N!" Your mother's shout echoed in your ears as she shoved you to the side.

You tumbled towards the ground screams ripping from you as you watched a fine mist encompass her entire face, "MOM NO!"

The mist faded as a blurry figure slammed the goon into the ground. Your mother slumped slightly as you darted to her side, her body shook, and you looked her over trying to find any damage only to hear a bone chilling sound.

"Ha-ha-ha."

You trembled as your mother raised her head, a large sinisterly familiar smile on her face.

"Mommy? Mommy, no. Please, no. NO!"

A jolt of sorts raced through you as you opened your eyes. A bright light slamming straight into them and sending spots racing across your vision.

"Aw, look," A mocking voice began, "our little Houdini's finally awake."

A piercing ache began at the base of your skull as you forced yourself to sit up. Faintly recalling your last moments, as rain poured down and you made the choice to finally let go.

Blinking you pressed a hand to your face, a sloshing of sorts following you as you found yourself immersed in a small pool of greenish water. Wincing you tried to look around the room- to understand where you were and what was going on.

Your eyes slowly adjusted, revealing that you were in a small cavern of sorts. A woman in a strange outfit stood nearby as a man in a dark clothing loomed over you. You watched as the woman motioned at someone just beyond your view muttering things you could not here.

"Hello there little one," the man began capturing your attention, "I am glad to see you're awake."

You swallowed feeling the headache fade slightly as you shifted. These people and this place did not seem familiar. You too a slow breath looking down to see your own hands and body before looking back up.

"Who are you?" You whispered, your voice cracking, throat dry and aching.

The man smiled, but something about it made you uneasy. He merely stared at you, replying, "A doctor of sorts."

You paused furrowing your brow, "So I'm not dead?"

The man- doctor- whatever he was laughed as he took a step back. Making temporary eye contact with the woman behind him. She had an odd look about her and you could have sworn you spotted a cat like mask before the man captured your attention again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," You replied wincing again as you stepped out of the pool rising to your feet, "is that normal?"

He tilted his head, "In a sense yes."

His short responses had your mind racing, he was being so vague and something- something about all of this just seemed off.

"Uh okay. Then is fine to assume I'll get better right?"

The man nodded as the woman smiled at you. You narrowed still not entirely understanding what was going on or what had happened. You were sure that the fall would have kill you and- and you could still remember the impact.

"Wha-" You began as a wave of defenseness washed over you, "what is going on?"

"Whatever do you mean little Houdini?" The woman asked her eyes glinting.

"Who are you? Where am I? How am I still alive? And what the fuck happened?"

Your demand echoed in the cave like chamber causing the woman to smile even more. She even began to laugh and the man stepped in-between the two of you.

"Just please calm yourself, Y/N L/N. All will be explained soon."

You locked your jaw, a buzzing of sorts climbing up your chest as you began to grind your teeth. Tingles raced across your hand, a tell tale sign your body yearned to release some engery. To produce the false images and twist the illusions into exsistance.

"When?"

The man paused before the sound of footsteps approached. He went still and so did the woman behind him. A wave of fury rose up in your chest, were you such a fuck up you even fucked up dying? Was it possible that something else was going on? Regardless of your current internal turmoil you needed answers.

"Would someone please answer my fucking questions?!"

Just as your frustrated shout escaped a new woman walked into the room. she breezed past the first and stopped right in front of you. Allowing you to get a good look of her and a better grasp of the situation. She was dressed in a green and gold trimmed dress, her dark brown hair spilling around her face, dark skin and sharp bone structure that screamed Arabic descent. And her eyes, her bright- familiar green eyes stared at you with a curious gaze.

"I would be happy to, Y/N."

Something about her- whether be her eyes, her voice or face- something seemed familiar- so familiar you let your guard down.

"Where am I?"

The woman smiled, "Safe in my home."

It wasn't entirely a bad answer, but once again a vague one. And despite your concerns on where you were at you had to know one thing.

"How did I survive that fall? I just can't wrap my head around it."

The woman went still before she softly laughed moving a bit closer to you, "You didn't."

You froze as you answer caused your breath to stop, "What?"

"You didn't survive. In fact, that fall killed you, you died."

"But- wha- how? Am, am I dead?"

"Not anymore, but you were."

"I was- what do you mean I was dead? How can that be possible?"

The woman's smile deepened, and she took a step even closer, "You're not asking the right questions."

Grinding your teeth, you met her gaze and raised your chin frustration and desperation climbing up your throat, "Fine, who are you then?"

"Much better, I am Talia."

Something about that name set off warning bells in your head and your stiffened, allowing your guard to rise as you eyed the woman.

"Where am I? I want specifics."

"The league."

Your blood went cold as a realization began to dawn on you, "The league?"

"Yes, the league; assassins, shadows, what have you. You, are at one of the bases for the League."

"And- and-"

"I am Talia Al Ghul, and I brought you back to life."

You went still as everything began to click into place. The green water, the man and woman nearby, the vagueness- how you are alive, and you looked at Talia swallowing. The familiarity. This was Damian's mother, the person who you died trying to run from.

"You brought me back with the pit?" You whispered your voice trembling and cracking.

"Unbeknown to my beloved, son and the rest of his rabble, yes... so any more questions?"

You swallowed as your world began to scream and burn as it crashed down. They- they thought- no they knew you had died and- and no one would come save you this time. You were on your own you were alone.

You shook your head, refusing to let your voice tremble, "No."

"Good, because I have a lot of work for you..." Talia paused looking over her shoulder to the other woman, "what did cheshire call you? Ah, yes. Little Houdini."

Digging your nails into your palm you tried to calm your breathing as Talia tucked your hair behind your ear smiling.

"Let's get to work my Little Houdini."

Tag List:

@andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @zvtanna @daemonnix96 @krswrites @thefallingstarlights @masset-fotia @rrowwii @ssak-i @legendarylearner18

#y/n x damian wayne #damian wayne x y/n #reader x damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #reader #y/n #Damian Wayne #batboys #angst #batfam #fem!reader #Oh Miss believer: pt3 #Robin #reader x Robin #flashbacks #hehehehehehehe #cliff hanger #meta!reader #fic #requested #batboys x y/n #robin x y/n #SUPRISE BITCHES #redhead batgal #request #i’m back baby #part 3 #let’s keep it going y’all 😂😂😂

[sapphicslut777]

so idk if this is a running theory, but i’ve never seen this mentioned in the stranger things sphere…

i think that henry/vecna/one is the biological father of all of the children in hawkins lab.

from what i understand, a lot of time went by after henry was captured by doctor brenner. as we are currently in 1986 with the start of the end of the world 😅 and with ‘83 being the year when will went missing (the day in which the upside down is stuck)… then what happened between 1959 (henry’s capture) and 1979 (in hawkins lab, when we clearly see children/experiments 2-12 (or 17??) have been acquired somehow)???

in the ‘79 hawkins lab we see many numbered children with abilities being taken care of by an extensive staff, including one, who’s powers have been kept at bay by the soteria doctor brenner implanted in his neck. by this time 20 yrs have passed and surely henry is in his 30s by now. the fact that we didn’t see all of that missing time, makes me think it’s important.

i know that it’s been explained in the papers, and understood by becky (terry ives’ sister) as well as hopper, that brenner was using lsd and shit like mk ultra to create/obtain people with powers. but those never included experiments on children. the newspaper described adults with the drug experiments. the way that becky describes terry’s experience makes us think that she was the only one this happened to… “she didn’t know she was pregnant at the time” she says 😳

it is also unclear how or when henry got his psychic abilities. and doctor brenner (who has been studying henry since he was a child—under the care of his own parents) has always wanted to not only study, but replicate, henry’s powers… so if he had done all of the experimenting that he could on one child and couldn’t determine how to recreate the results,,, i don’t think it would be above brenner to craft an entirely detailed plan on how to breed the children himself, using henry’s genetic material to get the powers.

because in ‘79 the oldest child (two) seems to be about 14-16 years old, this would make him born in about ‘63-‘65 (henry turned 18 in ‘65)… i just think brenner is the type to create a whole operation. we’ve seen the way that he has his lab staffed in ‘83 and even in ‘86 (with NINA). he is neat and orderly and checks all of the boxes and possibilities. i think if he had years of planning he could definitely come up with a system of not being caught.

the lsd experimentation was probably an entire ruse to acquire people (women) who would want to volunteer. these people (women) who weren’t afraid to take drugs or be closely monitored or experimented on… fuck in his own sick and twisted mind he probably saw it as them consenting???

all i’m saying is, when we see the clips of eleven (jane) being taken from terry, it’s brenner himself. he’s running the whole operation. and when we see the lab in ‘79 there are tens of kids there (all in varying and descending ages). which makes me think that he takes a baby, waits a little bit, then pops in another one when the time is right 😨🫢😬

all i’m saying is,,,, it would make a lot of sense that brenner would want to use the soteria on henry and have him help with the training and the monitoring of the other children’s abilities (who knows henry’s powers better than himself??). it would make sense as to why one thought he had “the right” to destroy all of (his and) brenner’s work. their experiments. their children. this would explain why henry seems to latch onto eleven so easily, letting her know how he harnesses his power (something that would be very personal to him). it would make sense why eleven and brenner are the only ones left in the lab (besides staff) in ‘83. why brenner is so desperately using el to get to the upside down and find henry. why wouldn’t brenner make more experiments? more children??

all!! i’m!!! saying!!!! is!!!!!!!!! it would make the whole “papa” and daddy issues arc a Hell of A Lot Stronger, if henry was watching these (his) children and waiting for the right one (eleven/jane) to trust to carry down the family legacy and the powers. henry talks to young el like “i wanted us to join forces”… what if he sees her as his true daughter??? he sees that she’s powerful enough to carry out his escape plan. and it’s obvious that he’s so betrayed by eleven when she rejects his offer and banishes him. he wants to rebuild the entire world with her for fucks sake!!! talk about some toxic daddy-daughter shit!!

in henry’s monologue to el in the lab in ‘79 he says “papa wanted to recreate me.. he started a program. and soon, others were born. you were born. and i’m so glad you were, eleven.” this theory would also explain the reason he thinks the children he killed are not dead. he claims that they’re still with him. he points to his mind. “in here”.

he also says “to your papa, you are nothing but a lab rat, something to be tamed.. but the opposite is true”. he explains that eleven is better than “they are” (normal humans i suppose?? or simply everyone else??). he claims that she is superior… why? bc he is superior. henry thinks he is the greatest and most powerful, all-knowing being in the universe. and to have a daughter to watch over, that posses the same ultimate power and can finally understand him… i think that’s all henry’s ever wanted.. he’s always felt disconnected and ostracized by his family. and even his “second family” (papa and the other children). but eleven reminds him of himself. he says so throughout the entire 4th season.

this daddy-daughter relationship between henry/one and jane/eleven would also hit hard for el’s storyline, which has been riddled with father figures this whole time…. brenner was “papa”, hopper was next (also taken away from her by the upside down/vecna/henry/one), then brenner again, and even doctor owens for a time. for her to then have to come to terms with henry being her biological father would be the final evil cherry on top of this season finale. 🍨🍒

all throughout the series, we’ve been being tossed back and forth between these psychic/supernatural/other-worldly things being the villain AND humans and their inherently twisted complications and multitudes being the villain. i wouldn’t be surprised if the ending, and all that’s revealed in season 5, was to wrap all of that up into a double whammy bow. of like,,, yea isnt it fucked up that humans and their desires made these decisions to create these things, these “monsters”, these powerful beings…

but the human brain is the biggest monster of them all. we’re all so fucked up. and we always have been. and we always will be.

but!! the power of fucked up can always be faught with the power of love and happiness and cherishing others and actually caring for one another….

so humanness has a cure?

#into the ether #this is my magnum opus #stranger things #stranger things spoilers #stranger things theory #stranger things season 5 #st theory #st season 5 #st season 5 theory #stranger things season 5 theory #vecna #henry #one #stranger things season 2 #stranger things season 3 #stranger things season 4 #eleven #el #martin brenner #brenner #tw eugenics #eugenics #villain #terry ives #eleven stranger things #vecna stranger things #daddy issues #mine

[rach-amber]

Stop Victim-blaming Rachel Amber

I've posted this before but still don't see it being recognised enough. So here is part of an original well-written analysis of Rachel Amber, specifically the parts that got her the most hate:

SO WHY WAS RACHEL MESSING AROUND WITH FRANK AND JEFFERSON IF SHE LOVED CHLOE?? Well, let me lead you to—

Case studies on the way predatory and grooming relationships work in BtS and LiS

Exhibit D 💀💀

**Rachel was an 18 y/o emotionally vulnerable traumatized naive girl with abandonment issues, commitment issues and a father complex who was a victim of predatory grooming.

More often than not, girls like Rachel (yes, I’m calling her a girl at this point) find themselves in the company of questionable older men because of their unresolved personal issues and lack of proper guidance. Just because someone turns 18 doesn’t mean they magically transform into this wise mature grown up who’s achieved clarity in what they want or know. Just because they’re finally legal doesn’t make a 30 something yr old going after a barely legal girl any less wrong than a 30 yr old dating a 16 yr old. Just because a girl is confident and smart doesn’t mean they can’t be exploited.

One can see why an 18 y/o would want to date a 30 y/o. But you can’t possibly fathom why a 30 y/o would want to date an 18 y/o— unless it’s for sex or you enjoy the power imbalance, which again you can’t possibly blame the girl because that's just the adult exploiting the barely legal girl. And that would, SHOULD still earn a side eye. One can easily see why Rachel would be attracted to the prospects of sleeping with Frank if it meant being able to facilitate her drug abuse and him being a possible lead to her birth mother. One can easily see why Rachel would be attracted to a world-renowned photographer who's suddenly taking an interest in her of all people, someone who can essentially give her her shot to stardom and give her dreams on a silver platter. It's hard to run the other way if everything you've ever dreamed of is suddenly being offered right in front of you, harder if you've already been charmed to feel falsely safe with them.

You cannot blame a girl for falling for men that manipulated and took advantage of her vulnerability, exploited her, especially when she had no commitments or obligations to anyone whatsoever, no one telling her ‘stop, this is wrong’— completely no one to warn her that this was a predator and she’s the victim that they’ve been eyeing since she was 15-17.

Still think this wasn’t what was happening to Rachel? Her relationships with Frank (32) and Jefferson (38) were kept in absolute secrecy even though Rachel wanted to tell Chloe (who wasn’t even a student anymore) about Jefferson. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound safe or healthy at all.

EDIT: Even if somehow you dismiss the messed up predatory grooming aspect of this, the thing going on between Rachel and Frank was highly inappropriate and predatory because they were always under the influence of drugs. Consensual or not, Rachel was most likely always high around Frank which means she would've been in a vulnerable state each time and with drugs and alcohol clouding her judgment. A person under the influence— a drunk person CANNOT give consent. One of the letters she wrote to him even suggests that he was abusive at one point which indicates this wasn't a functional, much less healthy relationship at all. Heck, there's even an unused audio line where Max says: "Frank, I actually believe that you do hurt Rachel."— which just screams abuse. No idea why they decided to cut that out (DN is already sus with the way they try to make players sympathize with abusive men), but it still definitely is a reflection to what generally happens when drugs and sleeping with an older man that can facilitate their addiction is involved.

This would be different if Rachel was messing with guys their age, but no. This is specifically a girl who was being taken advantage of and exploited by men twice her age instead; one who was a drug dealer and the other who turned out to basically be a psychopathic drug rapist.

It’s just downright messed up to victim blame and demonize the girl who was being taken advantage of and groomed. Rachel didn't 'choose' Frank or Jefferson. She was victimized.

With all things considered, even if we don’t take BtS into account— we still have all these things to properly analyze what their relationship was.

If we were to include in the words of the developers/writers about the girls’ relationship to make it more credible and not just an analysis of a random fan, from LiS1:

Jean-Maxime Moris: There is ambiguity. (Creative Director)

They never confirmed whether Rachel and Chloe were in an actual relationship despite it not being up to the player like Max and Chloe. And relationships that are described to be ambiguous usually means it was complicated and not the usual standard of a monogamous exclusive relationship.

Read more in this Reddit post:

I hope this clear things up. If you read all the way til here, Thank you. Here are a few art I generated based on Rachel in the comics book cover 🧡

You are free, and you will be missed.

#rachel amber #lis #life is strange #amberprice #rachel amber 4ever #life is strange before the storm #lgbtq+ #victim blaming #grooming #chloe price #ai artwork #ai art #poor rachel #lis: bts #reddit #character analysis #justified #exploitation #rachel amber deserves better #RA #arcadia bay #瑞秋 #ambiguous #mark jefferson #frank bowers #tragic #before the storm #Life is tragedy #rachel amber fanart #life is strange art

[raayllum]

not really appreciating or understanding still the whole purity culture accusation for pointing out that people are well in their right to find a unhealthy power dynamic ship between Aaravos and a 19 yr old more uncomfortable than Aaravos and a middle aged guy well into adulthood - this isn't purity culture, this is, like, a really normal perspective and perfectly fine for the fanbase of primarily young people (if not children) to have, I don't understand what's worth getting upset about, is this just rehashed proship discourse or what

and I don't think you're really in the mindset to be having this discussion, considering I've said your main point of contention - that it is understandable and ofc absolutely allowed for the age gap to be what people find off putting about Claudia and Aaravos - over and over again:

like to be clear whatever makes you uncomfortable makes you uncomfortable, nothing wrong with that, block tags/people and curate your experience all you want

and I'm gonna be honest with you, on tumblr? TDP is an extremely adult heavy fandom. To the point that when I first joined the fandom back in 2018, I was one of the youngest, and still am, even in my early 20s now. And tumblr is a 17+ age site anyway, so young children shouldn't even be on here (and if they are, they had to sign a button saying they were older, and it's on them and their parents to figure out how to curate their online experience, soo).

So let me reiterate:

People are allowed to be squicked out by Claudia and Aaravos' age gap. But to act like there's a moral slant to it - Viren/Aaravos being better/fine/less morally problematic - is a facet of purity culture and culturally Christian attitudes towards sex. The issue isn't the discomfort, that's something that's often very personal and subjective, the issue is the moralization of that discomfort. Which, as a queer person, is very very similar to how discomfort and morality are utilized and weaponized against queer people and 'taboo' literature in general. Which again, as someone with a degree in English who also teaches the humanities for a living, is something I'm acutely familiar with.

"We have to be careful about what we portray in art because impressionable people may get confused between art and reality" is not a new take. It's the backbone of Plato's The Republic. It's what essays were written in opposition of in the 1600s. It's what 19th century British grammarians were concerned with when codifying 'proper' English down into the first real dictionaries. It's the same mindset curbing portrayals of LGBTQ+ people in media today, because when you moralize certain things, you put up emotional barriers than get in the way of actually dismantling the thing you're talking about in the first place. It's all the same shit. It's all the same moralized thought crime. And to say you should never question WHY something is uncomfortable is a surefire way to never question any bias you may or may not have - because biases aren't always bad, but they should absolutely always be examined so you can see where it's coming from. Yours and others personal discomfort is not a Standard, the same way what I'm personally comfortable with or discomforted by is not a Standard, but I'm not acting like mine is, and you are

'Rehashed proship discourse' is what helped cultivate the environment that led to a massive wave of harassment of the aro and ace communities online from 2013ish to 2017ish (which I saw first hand). It's also what led to me, a 16 year old, being harassed by grown adults and called a pedophile somewhat regularly for what cartoon characters I wanted to kiss, because I had the same opinions on not moralizing what people do in fandom as I did at thirteen, and as I do now.

If you look at any ship or dynamic with a large age gap and write it off solely because of the age gap, you're not engaging in critical thinking. It's a "you don't need to know why this thing is bad, you just need to know it has a label of Bad". It's as simple as that, and that's precisely the problem.

If you want to do more reading and to expand your horizons on the subjects I'm talking about (literary analysis, societal purity culture, upacking biases, etc.) I suggest this tag on my main blog, and feel free to come back and discuss. If not, have a good day, but I don't feel like continuing this conversation any further, simply because unsurprisingly, it seems that critical thinking is something you are struggling to apply, and I don't think we're going to get very far without it.

#thanks for asking #anonymous #bangs head against a wall #fandom nonsense

[tempenensis]

So i just wanna add to what previous anon suggested about Gojo's popularity and fans headcanons that he sleeps around with randoms.

Well first, the whole ordeal started when Gege-san said he doesn't see Gojo being sincere or faithful to anyone. It blew up basically, but the second part is because Gojo is stated to be attractive. This however, doesn't necessarily mean what people think it means, and given that Gege-san enjoys trolling and poking fun, and especially dunking on Gojo, i would really suggest some of his comments are taken with a grain of salt, especially if what is written in canon contradicts with his little remarks on his characters.

The important part of Gojo's character is that he is someone who is without a doubt deeply traumatized, went through alot of shit and probably had a problematic upbringing too. Let's take his powers into consideration here aswell, it's an ability to keep everything and everyone away from him and it is only taken down on occasions where he is around those he trusts but keep in mind that it doesn't happen often either. He had a bounty on his head since his birth. I think it is logical to think that Gojo is not the type of person that would find satisfaction out of sleeping with random civilians just to feel physical contact. Being a jujutsu sorcerer is a demanding and a dangerous job, and Gojo being the strongest has the biggest burden on his back, he's practically carrying the weight of an entire world atp. And Gojo being Gojo and him having a very selective small circle of people he hangs around trusts? It just doesn't seem in character for him to be the type to have those kinds of flings, it takes attention, time and not to mention that he is working best when alone. Civilians will become colletaral as shown in Shibuya.

Everybody is ofc welcome to different interpretation but this is just me here being critical on the reading of a character and analyzing possible aspects. Teacher giving a 16-17 yr old Gojo her numbers means nothing as it is a typical anime/manga humor that can be found in other stories aswell. I think that shouldn't be read too much into again, Gege-san enjoys poking fun at Gojo at any chance he gets. His comment didn't even sound that serious but alas... Anyways, i think if we even do consider it, it probably means that Gojo just has too many PTSD and problems to deal with, plus being the strongest to even consider a relationship. He is literally misunderstood and not viewed as Satoru but mostly as the Strongest. Big difference. He also needs to set an example for his students, didn't Gege-san also say he doesn't get much sleep? Too many things to look up on honestly. Also about Nanami being a jujutsu sorcerer and not being married.\

This got long, so sorry Lele-san but i hope my ask makes sense. Have a great day!

This, anon. Totally agree.

Tbh I don't like when people only focused on the comment about his popularity, because then his personality seems to be reduced to fit into that stereotype. But anyway, as I explained before, he is a multidimensional character, and whatever gege's comment poking fun at him, Gojou indeed is a hardworking sorcerer and a good teacher who is pretty protective of his students

#le-ask #jjk #gojou satoru #does gojou sleep around is probably the most asked question in this blog #which tbh i dont care

[aegor-bamfsteel]

Thanks for replying. Now I am feeling weird about Dany having sex with Hizdahr and Daario. In Westroes age of being adult is 16. But it's still feel icky to me that a 15-16 yrs old girl is sleeping with grown ass men. I know that it's because of 5 yrs time scrap. It is still messed up. Especially when Dany was child bride to an older man before and was victim of rape.

(Replying to this ask, where using the text I estimated that Hizdahr and Daario were in their late 20s at the earliest and probably older)

I kinda get it with Hizdahr, as that’s wedding for peace in Meereen, and most marriages like that the bride and groom are incompatible somehow. I get that GRRM wanted Hizdahr to be independently rich, popular, and influential (as well as ambitious and self-serving), but he could’ve easily made him older and Dæny instead wed his pliable, more age appropriate son.

Daario, though, is a big no. There are no outside forces making Dæny fall in lust with him; quite the opposite, as she chooses to take him as a paramour despite his terrible conscience/lack of decorum as well as his age. As for her own age, GRRM says Dæny is still half a child at 16: “In the book, Daenerys alternates between being a young girl entering the world of sexuality and being a little girl. Sometimes she behaves like a child playing queen and other times like a fully functional adult in every way” so you’re not wrong for being disturbed by how young she is (or by what GRRM has to say about it). I get that as a dangerous yet powerful man who is best at war, he may remind her of Drogo, but as you said she was his child bride. As for my experience with teenage girls, I noticed that they are similar to Sansa when it comes to boys they like: they crush on boys their own age or a few years older, and consider men at age 22 unreachably old to the point of thinking it weird to even be friends with them. And teenage boys didn’t tend to go for younger girls either; I remember when a group of 14 year old girls tried flirting with 17 year old boys, the boys created a cruel song that ended with “I’ll do you when you’re older/Now go back to the play pen” (which was awful, but at least illustrates they saw the girls as children and not dateable). The point of talking about my experience is, the idea that Dæny would willingly choose a man possibly twice her age as a paramour (and even that Daario, though immoral, would even consider her attractive) just doesn’t seem realistic. I get that GRRM wanted Daario to be an independent, take-charge sellsword captain, but he could’ve had Dæny’s paramour be a junior officer of the Stormcrows maybe in his late teens. This type of pairing only got more common in the supplementary material, when 16 year old Rhaenys announced she would marry 37 year old Corlys Velaryon, and 16 year old Rhaena declared she liked 32 year old Corwyn Corbray the best of her suitors. In what world would girls, having just turned legally adults (but still emotionally kids) desire men twice their age with young kids already? So before these older men/teenage girl pairings were meant to be creepy and heinous (Jon Arryn/Lysa Tully, possibly Rhaegar/Lyanna, Petyr/Sansa, Jeyne/Ramsay), but if the “girl wanted it first”, that makes it ok? Let’s remind ourselves that’s the same line of thinking as those who defend statutory rape irl. I agree with you, it’s very disturbing that GRRM has decided to write the more sexually independent female characters that way, especially since he’s been accused of writing too much sexual violence against women in his series already.

#ask #grrm critical #male writers #female characters

[kinopioa]

Warning, rambling ahead, spoilers I guess

Contrary to my edit (the colorized Scott Pilgrim volumes use CC Cutthroat Int Regular, trust me, he didn't actually have gay sex with Wallace, as much as Wallace definitely wanted to Vol 5), I don't really like what I read from Scott Pilgrim

I read all 6 volumes, being already turned off by Scott himself

Now I know most fans will be like "He's supposed to be an asshole, he gets better, Ramona is supposed to be ome too", yada yada.

Yeah I get that, the issue is how it's done

So for the first 3 volumes, you have the story scream at you about how jobless Scott (23) is a douche sleeze, not feeling bad for effectively replacing his ex, Kim (23), with 17 yr old Knives (Canadian Age of Consent is 16). Ok, so we'll see how this backfires, right?

No, we'll have him randomly fall in love with a roller blading chick (Ramona) in his dreams, that he'll manage to find in some pub party, then stalkerishly contact later via Amazon.CA. By the way, still dating Knives, but he doesn't bring that up. Oh, and he's the broke roommate to Wallace Well's, who criticizes his asshole actions. Yet still lets him use his credit card...

Ok that romance thing will crash...right? No, he immediately gets a date with her, even invites her to see his band perform. Which given Knives has seen practices of their band...

Ok, so the two girls will meet each other and realize what Scott did, right?

Nope, random bullshit fight of a dude that was one of seven of Ramona's exes. All anime and shit for powers, beating him with the power of friendship (which is bullshit given how much of an inconsiderate ass Scott is to most of his friends) literally out of nowhere

Cuz of that, our douchebag got away with...not revealing his sleaziness, and agrees to killing the rest of Ramona's exes. Cuz clearly, a person who has that many exes is trustworthy for taste or accountability, and violence HAS to be the answer. End of Vol 1

The other thing that bugs me, the game references are very clearly stuck to the author's own nostalgia. Literally, nothing after 1995 (note, this is a 2004 novel. Aggravatingly very accurate to how retro gaming took over the web very early, but you'd think the author would research 5th and early 6th gen games too. Like, GTA SA was huge, just saying

Vol 2 you see a flashback to Scott's High school years. We see him get beat up and sent to the principal's office, meet someone that remotely likes him (Lisa). She tries to get to know him, but he's weirdly aloof and dismissive about it. The chemistry feels...incredibly awkward. His family teases him about seeing a girl, he then lies later about how they won't let him see Lisa (this isn't really explained). But then he meets Kim, and despite her not liking him, he's weirdly into her instead of Lisa, who actually likes him, even started a band. But then he invites Kim, then right after she's apparently cartoonishly kidnapped and he has to go epically fighting through many guys to to big boss that holds her hostage and saves her from her ex, Simon. Like Vol 1's fight scene, this really feels disruptive. So then we flash more to see how much he and Kim interacted, see he moved away, and we cut to present day

In a bus Scott is in a bus with Wallace, who tells him to be blunt and break up with Knives, cuz she legit doesn't deserve this asshole. Scott sheepishly denies until Wallace threatens to tell Ramona about Knives (honestly he should've, what's Scott gonna do, take his 0% of rent he pays?), while partaking a gay booty call of his own. So Scott then finds Knives, awkwardly sticks with her majority of the date until he bluntly dumps her and feels nothing from it. Knives is crushed, Scott feels sad for 5 seconds bwfore just immediately thinking of Ramona, proudly says that he dumped his past GF for another to his band group, who all (especially his ex) think Scott is a bitch

Yet they still stick with him. Which I get, sometimes you tolerate assholes, but Scott unironically is pushing it. Not even gonna cover the rest of 2-4

So the thing is, Scott is disturbingly both out of touch with reality (his dated video game references and lingo almost making him fail a job interview), but then anime bs is apparently norm in this universe. He financially mooches off his roommate, and despite being a good cook early Vol 2 he suddenly loses that skill for his later job, and his band in general sucked. Heck, the reason Knives dated him is so weak Vol 1, what did she see in him?

Vol 6 he finally realizes how he himself rose tints his memories severely, which the penultimate antag, Gideon, also did when he thinks of how his date with Ramona was. Pretty much never taking accountability of his own mistakes

Unfortunately it takes 5 volumes to get to that point, and he does aggravatingly think of himself as "morally a good person" before in many instances. The book despite screaming at us that yes, he's a douche, still tries propping him up as some videogame hero, and his friends despite repeat betrayal or examples of Scott's behavior still stick by him. It comes at severe ends with each other, and Ramona being further revealed of cheating on her exes, running away from her problems doesn't help. It feels super unfair, with the fact that of Wallace and him no longer being roommates due to lease not even feeling like a challenge. He just defaulted to leeching off others

What gets me is Vol 2 shows us Simon in not just Scott's flashback, but Kim's own as well, with her confirming that Simon was a douche. Yet Vol 6 suddenly warp it to be that he's a harmless kid according to Scott finally self reflecting his own douchey actions, and Kim suddenly saying that she also screwed him over. People assume the Gideon thing was planned cuz similar appareances of the two chars (Simon and Gideon have black hair and glasses), but the volume's concept art of chars each book shows that that connection of Gideon warping Scott's memories is...honestly last minute.

Gideon manipulating Scott's mind with Ramona's head thing automatically is invalid due to the unrelated party, Kim, having similar view of Simon before Vol 6. It legit feels like after Vol 5 the author realized that they made Scott and Ramona too unlikeable, so to stave off some of their flaws, he made Gideon with the "Glow" bs to explain why the two couldn't be honest with themselves, and keep avoiding responsibility (seriously, who cheats on your ex's twin!?). Vol 3 does something similar with trying to explain how Wallace tolerates Scott, with his origin being that he crashed on Scott randomly one day. Feels too excusey...

Which with me saying that, defeats the point of Scott learning introspective, at least partially. At least he does actually realize he was gonna become like Gideon, but I hate how much of a cop out the glow was

Nevermind that Scott literally didn't glow until Vol 6. I swear, it was only intended to be when Ramona was lying early on, but petered out cuz too many people validated that she was unreliable + Scott's own lack of honesty. Even worse, Gideon didn't even know they broke up prior to the fight.

Also boohoo to Vol 4 having this...

And then have him bullshit Knive's dad like this

"I merely started dating with another woman while dating your daughter cuz she was just a side distraction from my ex angst"

The book couldn't pick a lane first 4 vols. Is he an asshole that actually is aware of his actions, or a none aware asshole? They leaned hard to the latter later, but again...the glow bs

Outside generally too much tolerance and overall jerks littered about, the villain chars are too haphazard

2nd ex was a decent guy, literally only died cuz of a bad skateboarding accident. But he was a movie star, so I'd think that'd matter? He was in papers before~*

*Movie made him unsympathetic, even making it so he wasn't a good skater. Wonder why...

Vegan guy hinted an entire organization that had vegan police and whatnot. Just completely disappears after he's eradicated, despite implications (methinks the author doesn't like vegans...)

Wallace's whoring is a frequent gag, but we barely ever see Mobile. And the time we do, it's just one joke, then ceasing to exist. Even Wallace is less focused on after moving :/

Overall I didn't really like Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. It felt haphazard and unbalanced upon close observation, which I heard the movie made worse. No idea how the upcoming 24 ep animated adaption is gonna go. But that's my opinion, so meh

@randomthefox

#scott pilgrim #unpopular opinion

[sortagaysortahigh]

ok thank u for letting me know!! i wanted to ask if you had any thoughts on gun kinks. i feel like they’re so inherently violent and romanticizing in a way?? as someone who’s been touched by gun violence and given the political state of the US right now it feels so wrong to see people posting about mass shootings and then writing smuts with their fav characters using a gun in the bedroom the next day. i can’t tell if my personal history is making me make a bigger deal out of this than it is so i just wanted to see what you thought :)

Okay babe honestly speaking i think your personal history is making this one a bigger deal in terms of calling the kink itself violent and romanticizing violence. Now I say this because i have experience w gun violence as well but i don’t associate those experiences or gun violence in general w gun kinks because those two are not inherently the same and the kink doesnt stem from that, rather a risk and power dynamic. Like any other ‘extreme’ kink oftentimes theyre talked about prior to them happening and they’re done in safe ways to ensure that both parties are consenting to it and comfortable with it.

Mass shootings and gun kinks do not correlate to one another, nor do they hold any relationship to one another either. Also you gotta understand that not everyone writing those fics or talking ab their kinks is American, and i hate to say it but some of them don’t give a shit about America’s political climates or what occurs in the U.S. as they have other issues to be more concerned w in their home countries. I think if people want to speak ab mass shootings then they should snd they can reblog posts and raise awareness and educate others on the issues going on in the US surrounding the abundance of gun violence snd the lack of political policing of guns/regulations of guns on a federal level, and even if they choose to write a gun kink fic that doesn’t negate what they’ve posted about because truthfully this is fan fiction and it’s a fictional universe about a tv show/film/actor/person that you can choose to read about or not read about.

However I will say that the way they appear in fanfics is definitely questionable to me most of the time because people will give a tw for gun kink but its not ever discussed between the characters in the fic and its like mid fuck they just hold a glock to the readers head, thats not consensual nor is it safe in any way shape or form, especially the fics in the obx fandom for example which highlight JJ-a canonically 16/17 yr old immature bby-holding his glock to his partners head mid fuck and sometimes emphasized that its loaded simply isn’t safe, especially when it’s assumed that he’s still 16/17, or maybe aged up to 18 which truthfully doesn’t change much but his legality. I know in some mob AUs for other fandoms like marvel, CE, SS, etc they use gun kinks, knife kinks and highlight the violence behind them as its part of the attraction and the themes of the AU as well but those are warned snd tagged and authors typically disclose that there will be violence in their fics and give proper tw ahead of time.

I think gun kinks are honestly probably a lot more common than we think, they’re just taboo like most other kinks, but because theyre common and seen as taboo people don’t take the time to educate themselves on how they work or where they stem from, rather they just take the fact that they think its hot and write it into a fic which is what most fic writers do for a lot of kinks, but when theres no established consent (and it isnt disclosed prior to the actual fic in tw, tags, or an authors note) then that should raise some red flags.

#askies #nonnie #tw: gun kink #tw: mass shooting #tw: violence

[starszinhis3y3s]

okay i gotta vent 🤦🏽 had a shit convo with my birth giver

i just get so frustrated. ive done a lot in therapy to see your pov, but i still feel like you cant or wont see my pov...i was just a kid, gettin it from all sides (school, family, etc). i never had relief from the abuses or space where i could safely be who i was. i was so much newer to the world than you, the adult, the parent. you were supposed to show me how to navigate the world and my own marginalities. i didnt even know that a lot of what was happening to me was racism and queerphobia til after i was on my own. do u know how awful that was? i dont think you could ever understand that kind of pain. i still carry these scars (physical, mental, and emotional) from childhood, a lotta them i got from you.

and you still want to argue or debate about these things. you were the parent. you were the one with all the power in our relationship dynamic. and yes, im grateful for the positive impact you had on my life.

its just so hard to forget the negatives, im on meds specifically for the sleepwalking these nightmares resulted in. did you know i sleepwalk and kinda always have? like, when u used to say id stand over ur bed and u were "scared i was gonna kill you", i dont remember that cuz i was sleepwalking in the middle of a nightmare.

like, i cant even say "i have recurring nightmares about that time you beat me so bad ALL my teachers tried to call cps" without you saying "yeah but do u remember what you did to start that?" yeah I CALLED MY BROTHER A COCKSUCKER. "no, when i popped u in the mouth you punched me in the face 3 times" LIKE YEAH BITCH U FUCKIN PUNCHED A 15 YR OLD IN THE TEETH WIT ALL UR RINGS ON WHEN I KEPT YELLING "PLS LEAVE ME ALONE I NEED SPACE LEAVE ME ALONE" WHATD U EXPECT?????

fr this woman thinks *i* was abusive NOT HER cuz i. hit. back. every. fuckin. time. difference is, i was 10-17 yrs to her 30-40 yrs. wild how a yt woman beating a brown child aint abusive, but the brown kid gets jailed every time he fought back. cuz he was definitely the threat, not the woman systemically abusing him. legit at 16 i went to grownup jail, there wasnt any discussion about juvie vs jail those cops beat me up more then threw me in the hole to rot...no food no water no clothes no contact for weeks at a time. just a horse blanket for warmth and a hole in the floor for a bathroom no toilet paper either

#tw abuse #my childhood sucked #shes mixed but chose whiteness #my brother is a cherohonky he completely hates bein brown & followed in birthgivers footsteps #so i have a white brother 😒

[murfpersonalblog]

I'm dumping my Omegaverse AU headcanons about The Vampire Armand here, as they don't really fit in my storyboard itself.

Cuz here's the thing about Armand.

Every frikkin adaptation's done him radically different. (We don't talk about QotD's Armand in this house! 😤)

Book Armand? Esp. from TVA? That whiny spoiled bratty out-of-control know-it-all easily impressionable jailbait with 1000 boy(man)friends in 1000 different taverns, wet-behind-the-ears I think I'm big & bad enough to hack down Marius' door with an effing battle axe and swordfight my ex boytoy cuz I'm a maneater just tryna make my undead lover/father-figure jealous enough to BITE me, balls-haven't-even-dropped-yet but I'm humping Beta Bianca one second cuz I'm Grown(TM) and hiding under her bed from Alpha Marius' scolding the next? Chile, that's an Omega.

If LDPDL thought he was hot stuff posing as a Beta, well Amadeo had already patented the Conflicted Dynamics Syndrome formula centuries ago, thinking he could act like an Alpha and get away with it, meanwhile living under the roof & rule of THE ALPHAMUS MAXIMUS, Marius de Romanus. 😂 .

Overcompensation is a thing, which is why he went buck wild as the coven leader of the Children of Darkness/Satan, ruling with a titanium fist because he's short and baby-faced and pretty and his voice will permanently crack since he's stuck as a frikkin 16/17 yr old for the rest of forever and he doesn't have an Alpha Voice he can use on anyone, just a mean streak a mile wide and a effton of uber-powerful vampire blood 1-degree of separation from Akasha herself backing him up (not that he knew that, ofc).

(If you can't tell, Armand's my favorite character in the VC books. 😅)

Like, of course he lost his mind panting after Marius in TVA, and then panting after Lestat in TVL, and then panting after Louis in IWTV, and then panting after Daniel in QotD, and then panting after Marius again in BC. Messy boots! In the end, I think the healthiest relationship he ever had was with his kids (by Marius), Benji & Sybelle. Some people just need to stay single till they're truly ready to mingle. (I've already said I don't like Devil's Minion--Daniel was the literal antithesis of "healthy"--Sybelle had more sense in her head than Daniel at some points.)

Movie Armand? That sexy BAMF slow-walking up that stage like a KING, whose face launched at least 5 seasons of the funniest vampire show I've ever seen on TV? That's an Alpha, baby. 😎 Yeah, he just sat there and let Santiago run roughshod all over Louis, acting like everything was out of his hands and big bad Santiago was in charge, I didn't know~!  🥺👉👈 But he also just sat there and let Louis run roughshod all over the entire frikkin theatre, flambé style, so he could start a new coven with his new boo-thang Louis. GOAT. 

AMC!Armand? Who the eff knows. 😅

Back when all we had was S1, I was pretty firm in my belief that Armand was a Beta. Even without the "Rashid" ruse, he's just so chill & zen & unbothered, never flying into extreme bouts of emotion like Alpha Daniel & Omega Louis. He balances them out and knows how to neutralize situations whereas the other two just snipe at each other, out for blood. That's certified Beta behavior, to be the only one in the room with working braincells.

But JFC, these S2 crumbs have had me feeling a type of waaaay~! 👀

And this is why I get so reticent about talking about Loumand, and Devil's Minion, and Lesmand, cuz half the time I think AMC's cooking up to have Armand be Satan incarnate, just manipulating EVERYONE; and other times I'm like watch they give this dude the most tragic backstory and paint him as the ultimate cinnamon roll.

So yeah, at the end of the day, Armand can run the entire GAMUT--he's the most complex character in TVC, IMO.

Which is probably why I love him so much, but am also SO SCARED to see what AMC does with him, cuz they really have the space & opportunity to really commit to how AR initially portrayed him, as THE big bad boogeyman of the vampires (until Akasha & Rhosh, ofc).

#the vampire armand #omegaverse #headcanon

[archangels-bible-annotations]

Genesis 15

15:1 God came to Abram in a vision. God is Abram's shield, meaning God will protect Abram from anything that is against him. God says that He will be Abram's exceedingly great reward. This most likely means that Abram will be with God in heaven. In this verse, God consoles Abram and tells him that there is nothing to fear. This reminds me of the quote, "If God is with us, who can be against us?"

15:2-3 Previously God stated that He would give the land to Abram and his seed. But so far Abram and Sarai have been barren. Abram here asks for a child. Right now Abram's only heir is his maidservant, Eliezer of Damascus.

15:4 God assures Abram that his servant will not be his heir but rather the "One" who comes from his own body. Why is "One" capitalized here? Does this signify the coming of God? It does not make sense that a mere human should be elevated to the same status as God.

15:5-6 God says that as many as the stars are are the number of Abram's seed; Abram accepts.

15:7 God reassures Abram of His power and favor to Abram.

15:8 Abram calls God "Master and Lord." This shows that Abram sees himself as a servant, exemplifying his humility.

15:9 God requests for a 3-year-old heifer, a 3-year-old female goat, 3 yr 3-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon. Why these animals?

15:10-11 Abram offers these as a sacrifice but does not hurt the birds. Abram drove away any vultures.

15:12-14 Abram had a nightmare. God says that Abram's seed will be strangers in an unknown land and will work for 400 years. However, God will inflict judgment upon their captors and give Abram's seed great treasure.

15:15 Abram is to be given a peaceful death in old age.

15:16 The fourth generation shall return to Abram's land because Amorites' sin is not "filled up." What does that mean? The Amorites are descendants of Ham and Canaan, who were cursed by Noah.

15:17 Sun is down and there is an oven seen with lamps. What is this for? Does it symbolize anything?

15:18-21 God makes a covenant with Abram saying the land will be given to his offspring, from river to river. This would mean that Abram's people would be in charge of the land right outside the garden of Eden. Then there is a list of tribes of people, what for? Are these tribes the ones that will be taken over by Abram's offspring?

Other Remarks:

The OSB highlights that it was the "Word of the Lord" that came to Abram. In Christian thought this would mean that Abram is visited by the Son of God, for a second time. This also gives testament that the Son is God because of the statement "I am the God that brought you out..." (v.1-7)

The "One" that is Abram's heir might not directly refer to Abram's son, rather it might be foreshadowing Christ. (v.4)

It is stated that "Abram believed God." This is an important note that shows unquestionable faith. Abram took in God's word and knew God will always follow through with His plan. (v.6)

God says that for 400 years, Abram's people will be workers. However, God will always return to help His people. (v.12-14)

Noah's curse was no joke, the Amorites still suffer even in the time of Abram. I feel like once you are cursed, it begins a positive feedback loop. If you sinned once, the debt you would have to repay is small. But if you sinned and then repented but found out that your sons sinned, then your debt has grown by a whole lot. This cycle probably continued, probably leading to the great debt of the Amorites to not be "filled up." (v.16)

When God promises the land from river to river, it might be seen as an attempt to bring back mankind to its original state, since the land promised borders the Garden of Eden. However, since this is still outside the Garden, it means that man is still missing something to enter its original state. (v.18-21)

Questions:

Why were those specific animals needed as a sacrifice? and Why are the birds not harmed? (v.9-11)

Why does Abram's seed need to go through suffering for 400 years? (v.12-14)

If Abram was so favored by God, why did he not get translated into heaven like Enoch? What did Enoch do that Abram is missing? (v.15)

Why are the Amorites still being put under the curse of Noah? (v.16)

What does the oven, lamps, and fire symbolize? (v.17)

What is the list of tribes at the end of the Chapter for? (v.20-21)

In God's covenant, what is Abram's role? (v.18)

Things to Add to Prayer:

Be our Shield as you were for Abram.

Help us to emulate your humble servants

-Mikhael

#genesis #bible reading #bible study #God #eden #Abram #Word of God #Amorites #Covenant

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Thursday, September 7th and Friday, September 8th

XANDER: What are you talking about? Willow wouldn't do that. SPIKE: (sarcastic) Oh. Is that right. XANDER: Look. You're just covering. Don't tell me you're not happy. (Spike scoffs) XANDER: Look me in the eyes, and tell me when you saw Buffy alive, that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence.

~~After Life~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Weekly Drabbles #15: Solace pt. III by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Weekly Drabbles #16: Behind Blue Eyes by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

cupcake, cherry-pie by shadows_of_the_words_i_said (Angel/Lorne, G [with kissing])

The Latin Passage by Icymoonlight (Willow, Giles, G)

His Dark Family by EustasiaVye13 (Angelus/Darla, T)

Every night I save you by leetolgoblin (Buffy/Spike, T)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Power In Your Eyes - Ch. 1 by TheSovereigntyofReality (Constantine xover, Buffy, Giles, G)

Skin on Skin - Ch. 1-6 by NautiBitz (Buffy/Spike, E) [originally 2002, revised 2007]

BtVS/Sandman Crossover.... The Sequel. Chapter 3 by linzod (Buffy/Spike, Willow, unrated)

Twice Broken, Thrice Burnt - Ch. 15 by ClowniestLivEver (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Hi Granny! - Ch. 1-2 by Desicat (Buffy/Spike, PG)

New Normal - Ch. 1-2 by holetoledo (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

Haunted - Ch. 3 by scratchmeout (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

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In Your Head

Title: In Your Head

Pairing: Din Djarin x teen! GN Padawan reader (16-17 yrs old)

Rating: G

Word Count: 4032

Request: hello! i LIVE AND BREATHE for platonic characters x reader fics, and i love din like a lot! so finding your blog is a magical moment ANYWAY can i request a din/teen reader.. gn is perfect! maybe 16 or 17 where they’re a jedi and they lost their master before they met din, this is oddly specific so sorry but can you write a part of it during that scene where ig-11 takes off his helmet but instead of the droid it’s reader and they use the force to heal him, and then at the end luke asks if they’d like to go w them but they decide against it bc they don’t want to put din through BOTH of his foundlings leaving him? please! ignore if you’re not feeling it but i’d love to see it! Thanks!

A/N: THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE!!!! SO MUCH HUGS FOR YOU!!!! This might be the longest thing I’ve written so far! I hope you guys enjoy, I accidentally forgot that IG-11 sacrifices themselves to save the group so just imagine that things still work out please please please. I really really hope you guys enjoy it! I had a fun time writing it.

—---

There were moments in your meditation where you unexpectedly were brought back to memories of your old life. Breaths in and breaths out and suddenly you were no longer sitting in the darkened hulls of the Razor Crest, whisked away to the night where you’d lost your master. Recollections of battles, scarred skin, and betrayal; your master had always warned you of the perils a Jedi’s life entailed. You honestly assumed you would always be within the hands of a Jedi master as their padawan.

So, when life took a turn and you found yourself within the care of a Mandalorian warrior and his foundling, calling it a surprise for you would be an understatement. You’d honestly chuckle at the memory of your first encounter. You’d been laying low from the New Republic in a small town in Tatooine, working at a local cantina, when you’d caught wind of what you thought was a lead to a Jedi. To your dismay, you found yourself aiding a Mandalorian and the town in defeating some monster? You’d been in the town for little over a year now, and though you’d never gotten a good look at it you were more than happy to help. The town, though quaint, was just not it. You’d heard rumors of other Jedi hiding off world, and couldn’t build the courage to venture out of the town due to that damned lizard dragon thing. It pissed you off.

After the dragon’s defeat the Mandalorian was quick to approach the youngling with powers.

“Excuse me?” A wry grin quickly spread across your lips. Din towered over you like a giant and you couldn’t help but giggle at that. He pretended to ignore it.

“Are you a Jedi master?” There was no way to tell his expression from behind his helmet, but you chose to assume that he was smiling. “I’ve been tasked to bring a child to a Jedi master.”

You inhaled deeply before answering. “By chance, can you add an extra child to that list?”

“Excuse me?”

Memories like those would pull you into trances time and time again. Others, such as late night snack raids with Grogu or just talking with Din at the crest’s hull. But it was the night you’d lost your master that haunted you the most during meditation.

Sometimes, a certain Mandalorian would stumble into the room whilst you were deep in trance. He would watch his foundling with curiosity, unsure of what to make of the situation. He was well aware of the young child, and their connection with this Force. However it is because of this lack of understanding that whenever the youngling participates in mystical activities that Din finds himself surprised. Impressed, even. All Din knew at childhood was physicality and fights. The youngling before him knew of mystical ways, something he will never understand.

The ways of the Jedi. What a curious thing.

Grogu was still in need of a proper Jedi master. The little thing lacked any kind of proper training. You, on the other hand, already had some. It wasn’t enough for you yourself to train Grogu on your own, you’d told him once to his dismay and exasperation, you were still learning. How long does a Jedi foundling train for anyways? Kid’s lived a long time.

Din shifted his weight from one side to another as he took one last look at his foundling. What could you possibly be thinking about in that little head of yours?

…

“We have to go, now!”

A deep inhale. Smoke spiked your nostrils. Your body convulsed as memories washed away and you were brought back to the grave reality, eyes flying open and darting around the vicinity. Heat flared throughout your body and pounding blood dwelled in your ears. Karga yelled orders to any ears who’d listen, scrambling to gather his weapons and get out of the burning room. Cara crouched in front of an injured Din, holding his hand.

“Y/N, get out of your head and move.”

You quickly looked around the room. Debris and ceiling were falling around you. How much longer could the group stay here without risk of being crushed?

“Go.”

What? You whirled to Din, exasperated in a matter of seconds. He couldn’t be serious.

“No.” You frowned, shaking your head and bit your lip. “Din, don’t say that. We can get you out of here.”

“There isn’t enough time,” Din dismissed, pain etched on his face.

Beside you, IG-11 lifted Grogu into his grasp. The droid turned to you and though there was no eyes on the machine you stared at its face for a moment before accepting Grogu into your arms. Grogu, who was still recovering from everything he’d been through. After all of this, he needs to rest. “Escape and protect this child. I will stay with the mandalorian.”

“Promise me you’ll bring him back.” Cara held a stern stare to the Droid.

“You have my word-”

A yell erupted and the ground shook. Cara quickly pushed you back and you stumbled from the surprise, taking a moment to regain your stance before looking around to see what had happened. Your eyes widened to find that IG-11 had been crushed by fallen debris. Wires and jagged whirring of broken wheels spurred amidst the vicinity. A small frown tugged at your lips.

“Quickly, Y/N.” Cara called to you, taking Grogu out of your arms before making her way to Karga, who awaited at an opening. You started behind her, but slowed to a pause.

“I’m staying.” You declared.

All eyes turned to you.

“Y/N.” Din’s voice came out.

Cara looked as though she wanted to say something when a large piece of debris fell between the two of you. You quickly brought your arms up to shield your face from the blaring heat. “Go!” Unknown to you, Cara watched you with a look of determination and trekked back to the opening. Cara and Karga were gone by the time you looked up and Din was calling you to get out of there. A quick inhale burned your lungs and you quickly move to crouch next to him.

“Din,” You began, quickly pulling the sleeves of your cloak farther up your arms due to the extreme heat. Your hands shook but you tried not to let that bother you and you chose to focus on the man before you.

The Mandalorian shook his head and tried to push your arms away from him. He grunted, “Kid, get out of here. My time is over.”

“No,” You shook your head. “Din, I-I can heal you. For once, trust me on this, please.”

There was no way to indicate what Din thought. But you pressed your lips together and sighed a relief when Din hesitantly gave you the okay.

“I need to take your helmet off,” You began, reaching to grab his helmet with both hands. Suddenly a hand reached out and stopped you, you winced at the strong hold Din had on your wrist.

“It is.. Forbidden.” Din explained, his grip on your hand faltering ever so slightly. “No living thing has seen me without my helmet since I swore the Creed.”

Around the two, debris fell even more and shouting could be heard from afar. It was either they’d get crushed or they’d be found.

“You’re not the only one breaking a promise,” Din didn’t miss the way your voice wavered, though you doubt he knew what you meant.

“Alright.”

To his words, you nodded and released your grasp from the helmet. Din grunted and denied your help in sitting himself up, and showed little pain despite aching all over. He lifted his hands to his helmet and paused a moment, hesitant no doubt, and took off his helmet in one quick, faltering motion, as though he wanted to get it over with.

And you stopped yourself.

You’d lived with the Mandalorian and his foundling for quite some time now. You had counted the days until you’d lost track. 6 months, minimum. Throughout those 6 months, you’d make a sort of game to yourself and imagine what Din looked like. You liked to give him blue eyes, a rugged look and a scar on his face. Some days, he’d be blonde, other days he would have curls. Staring at Din now, you realize that you were very bad at that game. But still, there was a sort of relief to finally connect a face to his name.

Din furrowed his eyebrows at your small smile before giving you a small, closed lip smile himself. Inside, he was panicking, but you can’t have another reason to get anxious when you had a very important job at hand.

There was really something special about the force. With proper training, not only could it be used as a defense mechanism but could also be used for medicinal purposes. You explained this to Din as you hovered your hands over his injuries, informing him that you were actually speeding up his body’s natural healing process. Not too far from you, another debris fell to the ground with a thud, and you hurried to finish the process as fast as you could.

Din looked unsure of himself as you did this. You didn’t blame him. He probably felt exposed without his helmet.

“Too bad about the droid.”

A small chuckle came out of you, “You’re just happy you don’t have to deal with him anymore.”

“Probably would’ve made a droid joke about my brain to make me feel better.”

“That’s… stupid.” You shook your head again with a small smile. You already started missing the droid. “Funny, but stupid.”

“Okay, time to go.” You finished up and gingerly helped Din put his helmet back on. As the cool beskar metal passed over his mouth, you heard the faintest whisper of a thank you. The two of you shared a small smile before you reached over and wrapped one of Din’s arms across your shoulders, grunting at his weight as you lifted him up.

“Y/N,” Din started as the two of you wedged through the hole that IG-11 had created, “Grogu used his powers to save us from a soldier.”

You faltered in your steps, unaware, “ What?”

…

Another sharp inhale and you looked around your surroundings, gasping ever so softly. Around you was the main control unit of the Razor Crest, stars overhead and the occasional beeping of machinery. Beside you sat a certain Mandalorian concentrating on maneuvering through the system.

“You did it again.”

Din looked at you, donning his beskar so you couldn’t make his expression. Now that you thought of it, you hadn’t seen his face since that time you healed him.

“What?” You spoke, having not registered his words at all.

“That, force thing.” He gestured to your directions, “sometimes it doesn’t feel like you’re here whenever you get lost in thought.”

You shook your head, rubbing your eyes. It was getting late. “Couldn’t have put it to better words myself, Din.”

A silence falls among you two, and Din glances at your direction again. “Will Grogu be able to do that?”

“Uh… yes,” You shrugged, picking at loose threads of your robe. “But what’s been happening to me hasn’t been on purpose. I’m not in control of it, yet, but still it’s really an inconvenience.”

“Has it been happening for long?”

A shake of your head, “Little while now, my master says it's something some jedi go through after stressful events. Normally you can snap out of it with the help of another Jedi. They just go right in with the Force and do their ‘Force thing’.”

Din chuckled at the little mockery you did of his confusion with the Force. “Hopefully we can find you a Jedi master. Until then, I’m counting on you to help Grogu as best as you can.”

“Yeah, I know.” You smiled, nodding to his words, “He’s excelling wonderfully too. It’s scary honestly, it’s almost like he’s a natural at it. But there’s only so much I can do for him. He needs a master.”

Din hesitated for a moment before calling your name out, earning a hum from the teen beside him, and continued. “Your master… what were they like?”

“Oh,” You didn’t expect this question, though the topic hadn’t been discussed throughout your stay at the Razor Crest. A small frown formed on your lips as you remembered your beloved master but a small smile replaced it. “My master was like a father to me. Everyday he’d guide me through the Force and he always had an answer to any question. I was lucky to be his Padawan.”

“With luck, Grogu can find a good master like yours.”

“No one’s like Master Balfur. But I agree, he needs a good master.”

“As long as you both are together, you will be taught well.”

And you chose to leave the conversation at that, knowing that there was a chance you would not be going with Grogu. Padawans do not have the luxury of choosing their masters. It was not certain the Jedi would allow you to go with Grogu, especially with the prior history the two of you have. But this was a conversation meant for another time. The atmosphere of the ship was calming and it lulled you to sleep, with a yawn, you draped your robes over you like a blanket and bade Din goodnight.

….

Another inhale. A chill shot down your spine and you looked around your surroundings with deep breaths. Where were you? You’d done it again, didn’t you? Around you machinery beeped and alarms flared from outside of the control room of the ship. That’s right, you and Grogu were just rescued by Din and the others. At one moment, you were running with Grogu in your arms when Din went off to fight Moff Gideon on his own, yelling at you to find Fennec or any of the other women. The next, well, this was the next. You must have fallen into a trance again.

“Kid, kid, Y/N!” A hand grasped your shoulder, shaking you to attention. Your eyes met cool beskar. “Stay with me, now’s not the time.”

“I-I’m sorry it just-”

And you froze. Something was calling for your attention, it came so suddenly and intensely that you drew several shaky breaths and tried to recognize what caused it. Another presence. That’s what it was. Whatever it was had been so overbearing that you drew another staggered breath and looked towards Din. His attention was focused on Grogu, sitting beside you staring at a monitor.

“Someone’s here.” You whispered, taking Din’s attention back. Your eyes fell to the screen and had a glimpse of the person who was quickly approaching. Your heart jumped at the sight of Jedi cloaks and lightsaber in hand. Quickly, you and Din made eye contact and a small smile grew on your face.

Seeing your reaction, Din gathered Grogu into his arms and began towards the door.

“Open the doors.”

But opening the doors was not going to be as simple as you thought. In front of the doors was a wall of four women whose pieces were pointed at the door, ready to fire whoever came. Cara narrowed her eyes at Din’s request but kept her piece aimed.

Din spoke once more, his voice a bit more stern than prior. “I said open the doors.”

“Are you crazy?” Fennec asked, eyes locked on the door.

And without a word, Din placed Grogu on the mainframe and pressed a button. You stopped beside him, fingers running over the helm of your lightsaber in case. Slowly the doors opened and among the smoke a cloaked figure entered the room. All attention was drawn to the lightsaber in their hand, some were apprehensive of what they would do with it and others relieved to see a familiar weapon in the room. The cloaked figure slowly clasped the saber to their belt before removing their hood and revealing their face.

And quickly, you dropped to the ground on one knee. Din took a step back, deterred by the sudden action his foundling took. Did you know this person to be doing such an action?

From where you knelt, your mind was clouded with the stories your Master had told you of the great Luke Skywalker. Like other padawans, you were struck with admiration. But you were also struck with great intimidation to be in his presence. It was a natural instinct to kneel to Skywalker, though it earned questionable glances from the other people in the room.

“Are you a Jedi?” Asked Din, hesitance in his voice.

“I am.” Luke confirmed with a small smile. His attention was drawn to your kneeled figure and then to Grogu, who peeked from behind the chair Din had placed him on. “Come little one.”

Your head stayed bowed to the ground as you showed no sign of moving. Grogu, on the other hand, turned his attention to Din. The Mandalorian took a small look between the two before addressing the Jedi. “He doesn't want to go with you.”

“He wants your permission. He is strong with the Force, but talent without training is nothing. He will never be safe until he fully masters his abilities.”

You said nothing while Din said his goodbyes to Grogu, not wanting to take away this moment from the pair. You didn’t even budge when Din removed his helmet. Before you knew it, Grogu was on the ground and looking up at you curiously. Still kneeled, you gave him a small smile that quickly dropped when Din began speaking once more.

“They have the force too.” Din gestured to you. “I’ve taken them under my care too. They’ve helped Grogu with his powers, but they are still in need of a master.”

Luke’s eyes fell to your figure, though you shook slightly from where you knelt, unwilling to look at the Jedi. “They have much more to learn about the Force, but they cling to the past. If they were to ever grow stronger they must learn to let go and be with a Master. Stand, young one.”

You obeyed, slowly raising yourself to meet Luke’s eyes. Honestly, you had no clue how you didn’t combust from the absolute intimidation you felt staring into his blue eyes.

“I can help you finish your training,” Luke offered, “I recognize I will not replace your previous master, but I will honor their endeavors to train you well with the force.”

All eyes fell to you. But you snapped your head to Din, your mouth open but you had nothing to say when you saw his face. Din stood quiet, his expression somber from having said goodbye to Grogu. No one could blame him. The relationship they shared was a familiar one, going as far to say that Grogu was like a son to Din wouldn’t be too far from the truth. After being alone for so long, having a bright presence such as Grogu in his life must have brought some sort of comfort to the Mandalorian. Now that Grogu is leaving, what will become of him? You frowned slightly. Would Din be fine alone? Sure, he was a grownup. But that didn’t matter, loneliness comes at any age.

The more you studied Din, the more you realized that you empathized with him. There was still pain carried inside you from losing your master, you could relate to his feelings. It may not be the same, but similar nonetheless. He doesn’t deserve to lose another person right now.

With a look of determination, you nodded to yourself and turned back to Luke.

“Master Skywalker,” You addressed, beside you Din pondered on the name as it was the first time someone addressed the cloaked Jedi. He had heard that name before, though he couldn’t point where. “Though I’m honored to have this opportunity, I must stay with him and fully let go of my past before I continue my training.”

“Y/N.” Din started, taking a step forward . “Don’t. Go with the Jedi, you still need training and Grogu should have his sibling with him.”

You shook your head and turned to Din. “I’m staying with you.”

“Careful, young one.” Eyes turned to Luke once more. “Untrained power can lead to many dangers. Do not let yourself be swayed by the means of others. You will need a master, do not wait.”

“I’ll receive training,” You confirmed to Luke, nodding to him. “I… just need time.”

A small smile formed on his lips and Luke gave you a nod. You turned to Grogu and gave him one last hug, asking him to take care of himself and remember you, before letting him go to the Jedi master. To your surprise, a droid emerged from behind Luke with several beeps. Again, you found yourself intimidated at the recognition of the droid R2-D2.

Grogu stared wide eyed at the droid, listening at the noises the droid made before asking to be picked up by Luke. The Jedi master bent down and picked up the youngling, smiling warmly at his first student before meeting your eyes.

“May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you.”

It had been a long time since you’d spoken those words. The last person who’d said that to you was your Master. There was a sort of comfort that came to you from this, knowing that there were still Jedi out there after everything that had happened. You weren’t alone. You’ll find others.

But for now, you stayed behind and next to Din as Luke left the room. You waved goodbye to Grogu, and waved until the little green child left your sight before dropping your hand with a sigh.

“Y/N, you-” Din stopped at your raised hand.

Quietly you placed your hand down, “I’ve lost my parents and my master, I’ll say goodbye to you when I decide myself. Besides, you need me.”

Din’s shoulders slacked after a few moments, and a small smile formed on his lips.

“Alright, let’s get going.”

…

“Kid, you’re in your head again. Snap out of it.”

You blinked with a sharp inhale, looking around your surroundings. Din stood not too far from you holding a bowl of food in both hands. He started your way.

“S-sorry.” You accepted a bowl from him and looked in, smiling softly to see it was your favorite.

“Don’t apologize. You’re not doing it as much as you did before.”

You hummed at the food in your mouth, savoring the flavor before swallowing. It’s true, you’d been maintaining your skills using the Force and working to improve the issues you’ve been facing. All while helping Din with his missions. Recently, he’d begun training you with his own fighting style so that you were well rounded in combat for when you left to go off with your own master. After a long talk, Din convinced you to promise to return to Luke once Grogu completed his training. Though you’d rather not leave the Mandalorian alone, you were fine with switching places with Grogu eventually.

“I was just thinking about everything that’s happened to us. And the future.”

A small pause.

“Din, where are we going next?”

And as you listen to Din inform you about your next adventures, you could only hope that you were doing your master right with your decision to stay with the Mandalorian. Though you were not receiving Jedi training, you were learning an abundance of things from the beskar man. Following Din, you’ve experienced rebellions and moments of humanity. You’ve grown with the Galaxy, molded by the people you’ve aided and the memories you’ve made. Would your master be proud? To see you displaced without a master and travel the galaxy? It was not a decision you regretted, to stay with the Mandalorian.

You’ve yet to be visited by your late master in a ghostly form. If he ever appears, will he validate your decision?

Another bite, and you hoped. That’s all you felt like you could do. Hope.

------

Taglist

@thekaibabes @kiara-is-gay @pcotato @sagedgeek

#din djarin x teen!reader #din djarin x y/n #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin #padawan #padawan reader #star wars x reader #star wars #the mandalorian #star wars reader insert #gender neutral reader #grogu

[redhead-batgal]

extreme angst: propmpt 6 for damian wayne

Type: Fic

Part Two: Here, Part Three: Here

Pairing: Fem! Vigilante! and Meta! Reader x Damian Wayne/Robin

Prompts: ⚔6: “Trust me when I say I don’t need you to tell me I’m worthless. I already know it.”

Content: Mentions of depressive thoughts, cursing, violence, ANGST, mentions of hospital patients being badly treated [very briefly more implied then anything], and an aged up Damian 16/17 yrs old.

Word Count: 6,577 words

Y/N: Your Name, L/N: Last Name, V/N: Vigilante Name

(P.S. I contemplated writing a happy ending for this, but the angst was so strong! This may or may not have yanked me down a dark and very angsty rabbit hole 😂😈)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The things that construct human life are not simple things like desire and needs. Nor is it wants and cravings. No, the things that construct life are the beliefs and ideals people have and carry with them. After all, without what we believed in, what would we be?

You believed in a lot of things, you believed in fate, in destiny, you believed that everyone had the potential for greatness. However, with a trail of failures and mistakes following you, you were having a harder time believing you were destined for anything other than being a royal fuck up. 

Failing, it seemed, was the only thing you were good at. While of course you were a meta, but your abilities weren’t exactly useful. In fact with the powers that you had, you were surprised you didn’t realize you were a fuck up before. 

Illusions, while they can be useful if one knows where and when to use them, can be detrimental to a mission if you don’t. Which unfortunately was your case. 

You could make butterflies dance across your fingertips, snow fall to the ground while the sun was still shining, but when it came to combat, when it came to actually fighting and saving people. You were useless. 

Even though you knew this, and you were fairly sure the bats knew it, they put you on their patrol. To make matters even worse, you were paired with Robin. He not only seemed to think putting you on the patrol was a mistake, but so was your existence. You couldn’t really blame him, after all he had to practically carry all the dead weight you were. 

It didn’t matter how much Bruce Wayne- Batman, had you practice, your powers never really seemed to get any better. You couldn’t hold illusions for longer than a few minutes and it seemed the more you practiced the weaker you got. It didn’t help that news of your parents hadn’t changed in the past few years.

Your father had been missing for nearly three years and your mother was in a mental hospital due to taking a face full of Joker gas that had been meant for you. Your guilt had been eating away at you ever since.  

Sometimes you wondered what would have happened if you had never been born. Would your father still be missing? Or would he and your mother be together, comfortable somewhere in Gotham. Humming as they rocked their new baby to sleep. 

Sometimes you wondered if you were important, if you were worth anything at all. If it would matter if you were just to disappear like your father did, if anyone would actually miss you or if you would just be another person the void decided to claim. 

And after your most recent patrol, you were leaning more towards the latter then the former. You had messed up, though it hadn’t technically been your fault, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. 

Looking out the window, you watched as rain spilled down outside, splattering against the window. The only sounds were the storm raging outside, it was almost as if the memories of the previous night were calling to you, wanting you to relive them. Wanting you to feel like a failure all over again. 

Closing your eyes, you let the steady sound of the rain send you spiraling into the past. 

It was a cool night, patrol had been relatively quiet, of course almost all patrols you were on were quiet. Somehow, Batman seemed to find the perfect days to send you out where no action at all would occur. While this upset and infuriated Robin, you were delighted. No action meant there was no way you could screw anything up. 

Unfortunately, this was one night Batman was wrong. 

Sitting atop a roof of some building, you entertained yourself by making little fireflies and sparkles appear and swirl between your fingers. Robin, on the other side of the roof, was getting irritated at your attempts to get rid of your boredom.

“Would you cease with your parlor tricks? Those lights are going to give away our position.” 

You had rolled your eyes and let one sparkle drift towards him before disappearing with a pop. He glared at you and you had to fight off a smile at his frustrated looks. 

Spending months on patrol with him had made you learn that he was very easy to irritate. And since one of his favorite pastimes was bad mouthing you, irritating him every once in a while seemed like an even payback. 

However, he was right. Your little light show could cause a criminal or something else to find out where you were. So you made the fireflies and sparkles disappear in an instant. It was an instant too quickly. 

Almost automatically after your illusions disappeared gunshots rang out and you heard Robin shouting at you to get down. A sharp pain strunk your arm and you slammed against the roof. Blinking you watched as Robin vaulted over the edge of the building and towards whoever was shooting at you. 

With your heart rate picking up in your chest, you shook away your shock and began trying to crawl to a spot where you could get to your feet and attempt to help. As you crawled you heard shouting and your nerves spun in your stomach.

Crawling would take forever, by the time you made it to a safe place, the fight would be over. And while you would have enjoyed that, leaving Robin on his own felt like a real dick move. So you closed your eyes for a moment and wished, prayed, hoped that you’d be able to get up safely. 

Opening your eyes you looked and saw across the way, Robin wrestling with someone, a man. He was wearing dark clothing and something about what he was wearing, the way he moved, it was familiar. Behind Robin someone- another man dressed in dark clothing was sneaking up behind him. 

Your heart leapt into your throat and you found yourself hurtling forwards. With barely any thoughts in your head besides the fear that your partner’s, one of the very few people who you knew wouldn’t hate you if you continued to fuck up, life was in danger. 

Jumping across the rooftop you slammed against the man and the two of you went flying. The man let out a grunt and you heard a scuttle behind you but ignored it as the man and you rolled. 

You slammed right against the edge of the roof, bouncing away from the edge you got slammed against the ground and the man glared at you for a second. Then he blinked almost in surprise and you took the opportunity to kick him off of you. 

The man was launched to his feet and stumbled backwards towards the side of the roof. You watched for a moment before he fell over it. Your stomach flipped and you scrambled over only to spot the man’s hand gripping the edge. 

As his hand began to slip you reached out and grasped onto it, the man snarled at you and began trying to pull you down with him. Pulling up slightly you tried to get the man back onto the roof. 

The man swung his free hand at the two of yours pulling him up. A glint caught your eye and it told you that he was holding a knife. Shaking him slightly you tried to dodge the blade all while not letting him go. 

“Would you stop that?” You hissed shaking him again, “I’m trying to save your life you fucking idiot!” 

For a second the man froze then you heard a slight zinging, something stabbed into your hand, the pain was like a fire facing across your hand and up your arm. But, you closed your eyes wincing in pain. But refusing to let go, you pushed through the pain and continued to try and pull the man up. 

“You won’t fall, you can’t die, I won’t let you!”

You couldn’t let someone die because of you, that was a mistake- a mess up- a failure you were sure you couldn’t come back from. 

For a moment you felt as if you were gaining some leverage and were going to be able to pull the man back onto the roof. However he was too heavy and you began to slip over the edge. Giving you a strange look the man muttered something under his breath in a different language. He then swung his free hand up stabbing the blade he held into your other hand, the pain was different then the other hand. It was more intense like a white hot ball of fire, blazing and stinging. A gasp escaped you and finally your grip began to slip. 

Letting out a slight yelp, you felt the man pulling his hand from yours. As he began to fall you felt his hand slip and you launched forwards almost over the edge trying to regrip the man’s hand. 

“NO!” 

Your fingers were a hair away from getting his when you felt hands on your waist and you were suddenly yanked away from the edge. Your stomach slid back over the lip and you fell harshly onto the roof. Breathing somewhat heavily you stared at the edge feeling your entire body shaking. 

That man had just died, and it was all your fault. Your hands felt warm and sticky, both wrought with pain and the world seemed to be spinning rapidly. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and everything seemed to be playing along to it’s drumming. 

Thump, Thump, thump

“V/N.” 

The man fell again, all while you reached out almost helplessly trying to catch him. 

Thump, thump, thump

“V/N...  V/N are you alright?”

Your hands grasped his and he looked up at you confused and slightly angry, you could feel the breath slamming against your chest almost dying to leave your throat.

Thump, thump, thump

“What’s going on?”

“Is she okay?”

The man tried to stab you and you felt the pain of the impact- no, you yelled at him...didn’t you?

Thump, thump, thump

“What’s wrong with her?”

“She’s gone into shock.”

The next slice, your own cries as the man slipped from your grip, going hurtling towards the black asphalt below.

Thump, thump, thump

“Oh my go- her hands...”

“We need to do something! She’s losing it.”

The determination on the man’s face as he swung the blade at your hand, the slight satisfaction in his eyes as he watched you scream over his fall.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump-

“Y/N!”

You blinked, the sound of your heartbeat fading, the pain in your hands almost intensified for a moment and you blinked again. Looking around you found the other vigilante’s surrounding you. Someone had your wrist in their grasp. 

Turning you found Black Bat examining your hands as Nightwing and Batgirl crouched near you. Behind them stood Robin, arms crossed, a very angry look on his face. 

His expression and stance reminded you of a time you had tried to climb a tree only to fall out of it and come home with a mangled arm and leaves in your hair. Your father had stood exactly like Robin was, glaring and brooding. Your mother had calmly helped you remove the leaves before asking. 

“Oh Miss Believer... what were you thinking?”

Blinking you shoved the memory away and tried to focus on getting up. However the second you tried to move both Nightwing and Batgirl stopped you. 

“What are you doing?” Nightwing asked as he shoved you back onto the roof.

Giving him an exasperated look you gestures vaguely before replying, “Getting up, patrol’s not over yet.” 

“Oh, no you’re not,” A voice in your ear said, Oracle, “have you seen your hands?”

Looking down you saw the matching blades protruding from each hand. Blinking it was then you realized that the blades were the reason why your hands were hurting. You sighed and looked up to find everyone, including Robin, looking at you. 

In your own opinion, it hurt like hell, but after your most recent fuck up you didn’t want to even think about quitting. It was bad enough you were a failure, you didn’t want to be a quitter as well.

“I’ll be fine,” You said with a shrug, “we can just pull out the blades and bandage them then I’ll be good as new.” 

Pretending what just happened didn’t affect you was difficult, but you wanted to seem as if you could keep on patrolling. After all you didn’t want everyone to stop just because of a few minor scrapes and yet another mess up of yours.

“That isn’t a good idea,” A new voice said in your ears, “looks like the blades are going all the way through to your palms.”

You flinched and blinked as you recognized the voice. 

“Fucking shit, when did you get here Red?”

No one laughed, instead they all gave you worried looks and you heard Red Robin sigh from the other side of the comm. 

“Just woke up from a power nap.”

“Five minutes isn’t a power nap Tim,” Oracle remarked. 

“It is when you’re me.” 

Hands were pulling you to your feet and you faintly heard a quiet discussion going on. Blinking you found Batgirl, Nightwing and most likely Oracle talking just a few feet from you as Black Bat helped you to your feet. 

“What are we going to do? Patrol is almost over, but someone needs to take her back to Agent A so he can fix her up.” Batgirl muttered.

“I can do it.” Nightwing offered as he placed a hand to his chest. 

Batgirl looked convinced and she nodded, however suddenly Oracle’s voice was in your ears, it seemed that she forgot to mute your comm. 

“Do you really want to leave the three of them alone?”

Nightwing nodded, “Valid point.”

“I can do it!” Batgirl remarked, shooting you a slightly excited look. 

“While I love your enthusiasm Steph, I don’t think you could safely get Y/N back here.” 

There was a moment of silence that followed Oracle’s comment and you felt a strange wave of dizziness wash over you. Your head began to spin and everything felt weird and fuzzy. 

Faintly you could hear voices talking but as your dizzy spell worsened it became harder and harder to make out what they were actually saying. Exhaustion mixed with the dizziness making it so you didn’t want to even try hearing anymore. Your vision began to go black as everything got heavy. 

However, when you felt hands on yours, then the sharp pain of, what you could only imagine was, the blades being pulled from your hands. Your vision cleared and you bit back a scream. 

“I’ll do it,” A gruff voice said, causing you to look up, “she is my partner after all.”

Standing right by you was Robin, a slightly upset look on his face and you sighed.

A loud bang yanked you from your memories and you blinked seeing a tree branch slamming against the window. Letting out a sigh you stared at your bandaged hands with a sigh. 

If you had been a little quicker, a little smarter, just more in general the man wouldn’t have died and you wouldn’t have gotten injured. 

The bandages looked a bit older, it had been a few days and while your hands still hurt you knew they were getting better. Another bang followed by a rattle caused you to pull your legs to your chest and rest your chin on your knees. 

You could hear the wind, from where you were in the manor, singing through the trees, it was a loud groaning and whistling. Something that you would have pretended was a choir of ghosts had you not been reliving yet another one of your failures.

You were just about to close your eyes and let the ghostly choir sing about your woes, when the door creaked open. Standing in the doorway was Dick, he saw you and he looked slightly relieved 

“Y/N.”

“Hi.”

You nodded in reply and watched as his gaze went to the window and he gave you a strange look. You had a bad habit of opening windows and propping open doors. However this time the window remained closed. 

“The window’s closed. Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah, I didn’t want to get water everywhere cuz of the storm... What’s up? Is everything okay?” 

Dick blinked a few times, almost as if he realized you noticed his strange behavior. He smiled and nodded, but before he could speak Cass appeared behind him. She touched his arm and he relaxed even more. Turning back towards you he nods again this time holding out a hand. 

“Everything’s fine. Alfred just needs to check your bandages. Come on, he’s down in the batcave.”

At first you hesitated, something was going on. But after a moment’s thought, you realized that going down to the cave could give you more answers then trying to interrogate Dick here and now. Nodding you slid your legs away from your chest and stood up. 

Following Dick and Cass you headed down to the cave. With Barbara and Tim both at the Bat computer, Steph and Jason talking and Damian, whose shoulders dropped slightly when you entered the room, brooding next to Bruce it seemed nearly everyone was here. More then likely Harper was out of town and Duke was busy, which as of late was usual. 

Alfred appeared from around a corner carrying a tray with bandages and what you assumed was some kind of salve. Gesturing to a table, Alfred began walking towards it. You followed him and hopped up onto the table. Holding out your hands you watched as everyone began chatting quietly. With Barbara and Tim pointing and talking about something on the computer screen. 

You blinked as you noticed an image on the screen. It was of a man in dark clothing, almost identical to the men who had attacked you a few days before. Clearing your throat, you looked back down at your hands. 

Either they knew things and were keeping them from you, or they were still investigating. You wanted to know, wanted to know who they were and the man- why he had chosen to die rather than live. 

“Did you guys,” You began capturing Barbara’s attention, “ever figure out who attacked us the other day?” 

The room went quiet and your stomach flipped, they were keeping something from you. You watched as everyone began to share looks. It, whatever they were keeping a secret, either had to do with how you had killed- how the man had died or had to do with you in some way. That or they had lost complete and total trust in you. Which at this point you wouldn’t doubt. 

The room stayed quiet for a bit longer and then Tim and Barbara shared a look before she looked at you and said, “Yes, we did. They were assassins from the league of assassins.”

You blinked in surprise and raised an eyebrow as you asked, “Why would they be here? Did someone put a hit out on one of us? Does... Does-”

“They were here to collect someone, not kill them.” Damian says, causing you to look at him, his expression was dark and you couldn’t help but feel he blamed you for this. 

Looking away from him you tried to get answers from someone else. However everyone was either avoiding your gaze or they were giving you hopeless looks. You swallowed heavily, letting out a breath as you looked down and watched for a moment as Alfred brushed the salve onto one of your hands.

“Who?” The question tumbled from you as you began to think more about the assassins, “The only person I could think would be-”

Your gaze drifted back towards Damian and he shook his head. You looked around at everyone and finally Tim answered you, “It’s not him.” 

“Okay, then who is it?”

More silence followed and you were getting frustrated, a tiny part of you hurt, thinking that they were keeping secrets from you. It made you think that they didn’t need you, not really. You met everyone’s gaze, going about the room. Practically begging someone with your eyes to tell you something. You ended at Damian and he raised his chin.

“You.”

Your heart stopped in your chest and you froze. You were ninety-nine percent sure that your jaw had dropped. You waved your hands causing Alfred to sigh. Shaking your head to ignore him and stammering out. 

“What? why?”

“It appears my mother has learned of your ability to manipulate people’s minds.”

His words sent a chill over you and you went stiff. For a second you saw your mother in a hospital bed, her hand reaching out towards your before you pushed the memory away. 

“... I can put illusions in people’s memories and minds.” You state glaring at Damian, “ And I haven’t done that since the hospital.”

Damian rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms and replied, “You did it nonetheless.”

“You didn’t see how they were treating my mother.” You began feeling a wave of anger wash over you as you fought off images- memories of her in pain, “What else was I supposed to do? They were acting like she and others who have been affected by the Joker gas didn’t matter! Doing that was one of the few good things I’ve done.”

No one met your gaze as you felt your heart pick up again. They didn’t agree with what you had done. In reality you hadn’t expected them to, you wanted so badly to believe that, that was the one thing you hadn't messed up on. But, the more you thought about it and the longer it got since you had done it the more you doubted it wasn’t another fuck up. 

“You were controlling people.”

For a moment you saw a man in a white coat with a sinister smile on his face and glasses on his nose. Then you saw his hand reaching out to you as nurses came into the room. You were dragged back as he smiled at you, almost laughing.

A fury and sense of fear raced through you, you could still feel the hands of the nurses and aids on your arms. Still feel them yanking you backwards. Your heart beat faster and faster, your breathing picked up.

“I was doing what I had to protect people who couldn’t defend themselves!” You shouted as you felt tears beginning to form in your eyes.

Your lungs ache suddenly, just like they did back then. Your body was fighting against the nurses, you felt cuffs on your wrists. The room went dark and you were all alone. You screamed and shouted but no one listened, your voice went hoarse as you kept screaming. 

People with needles, pills and masked nurses. Images and people flashed before your eyes, but then a sharp pain in your hand brought you back to the present. 

Cass and Steph looked concerned, Jason had a knowing glint in his eyes and both Tim and Barbara had gone still at the computer. 

“Not that it matters though,” You continued, closing your eyes, “I can’t do it anymore.” 

People in ski masks appear in front of your eyes and you were in an abandoned warehouse. You saw the doctor, his smile and a man in a suit next to him. A fire was in your veins and you felt your powers flooding through you. Illusions, strong ones had leapt from you and you watched as  the illusions tore through the doctor and the suit’s minds. It felt as if a part of you was torn open and ripped to bits, as if you were never going to be the same and you were bleeding out as you lost something precious and vital. Then you saw your mother’s unconscious figure, a machine helping her breathe, You took her hand and began to cry. 

You shuttered at the memory as you fought back tears in the present, then felt a pain in your hands.

“Miss Y/N please stop moving.” 

You blinked back into reality seeing Alfred trying to bandage your hand back up. Nodding you wince and quickly apologize, “Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright Miss Y/N.” Alfred said with a sigh as he continued to wrap up your hands. 

You noticed, as you looked up from your hands, that a bunch of them were all in their costumes. 

“Well,” Dick began shooting you a strange look, “we have patrol to go out on.” 

Alfred finished bandaging your hands and pulled away from you. You hopped off of the table and began walking towards the other vigilantes. 

“I’ll come with you.” 

Dick shook his head and sighed as he and Cass walked towards you. Placing his hand on your arm he began to guide you towards the stairs. “No, you’re hurt and assassins are after you.”

“It won’t do me any good to be sitting on my ass waiting to be kidnapped!” You exclaimed, stepping away from him, suddenly angry, “Besides it’s not like I’m any safer here. What do I have here that I won’t have out there?’”

For a moment Dick blinked and looked almost as if he agreed. However Tim called from the other side of the batcave. 

“Alfred’s here.”

You paused, your shoulders dropping and the anger leaving you fairly quickly as you turned towards Alfred. He was cleaning up different things around the bat cave. For a moment you remembered the rumors spread around Gotham. Ones that said to never mess with Alfred Pennyworth, or his family, if you did there would be hell to pay.

“Alright you got me there.” You sighed.

You watched for a moment then noticed Damian strapping on the extra bat gadgets that he needed for the night. A wave of shock washed over you and you crossed your arms, your jaw dropping 

“Wait, Damian’s going? Then I should go. He’s my partner!”

Damian turned towards you, a very dark look on his face. He took a step forward and shook his head. 

“No,” He growled, “you’re staying here.”

“That’s not fair!” You snapped at him, nearly stomping your foot, “Nor is it right! Who's going to cover you if I’m not there?” 

You had moved forward so you were closer to him. Leaning forward you stared him in the eyes determined to find out the answer. There was no way you were going to leave your partner high and dry. No matter how much you messed up or how badly. 

“Anyone really.” He replied.

You flinched and noticed a slight tick on his face, almost as if he was flinching as well. Taking a step back you let out a breath. Looking away from him you shook your head, locking your jaw as you scoffed. Part of you wondered why you ever believed that Damian would do anything other than badmouth you. 

If even your partner didn’t think you could cover him- if he didn’t think you were worth something out in the field, were you actually important? Were you actually worth something? Or did they just keep you around out of pity. 

“I’ve got it, don’t worry Y/N.” Tim said, capturing your attention, “ I’ll make sure the demon-spawn doesn’t get himself killed.” 

You nodded and it took you a moment to realize that he thought you were worried about Damian, which you were, however the fact that your worry was so evident made heat begin to flush on your face. Shooting everyone one last look you turned and walked towards the stairs cursing under your breath. 

You made it all the way up the stairs back into the library, closing the door with a huff. Throwing yourself into the chair you spin it back towards the window and cross your arms. You were pouting, or at least you were sulking. 

Damian, much to your dismay, was right when saying that anyone could cover him. You didn’t really cover him very well out on patrol, it didn’t matter if you did end up saving him a few times you always got stuck in a muddle afterwards which just caused even more problems. 

Wrapping your arms around your knees you glared out the window letting yourself focus on the storm. Imagining your anger being the rain and wind. Smashing against the house and trees, causing both to shudder. 

You sat for a while glaring at the window, slowly imagining a ring around yourself, at first it was a ring of thick ice and the room seemed to go cold. As the rain crashed against the house your ring got thicker and taller. 

You weren’t really important, you didn’t matter, you weren’t worth anything really. In the end you couldn’t do anything right. So why did the assassins want you anyways? What did they have to gain from you?

“Oh Miss Believer,” Your mother’s voice whispers, “what are you doing?”

The ice slowly melted as you began to realize something. You couldn’t get into people’s heads and plant illusions- control them, so what did you have to worry about really?

You could practically see fire curling around you and you heard the door creak open, then someone yelp in surprise. Spinning around you found Jason standing in the doorway smoke curling around him. He must have been smoking before he came into the library. When you spotted something in his arms you raised an eyebrow. 

“What’s-” Before you could finish Jason pressed a finger to his mouth.

“Sshhhhh.” He hissed.

You blinked a few times in confusion and he closed the door behind him, tossing what was in his arms at you, you looked down at it in confusion.

It, much to your surprise, was your vigilante costume. Looking up you found Jason by the window yanking it open. He gestured towards you to come near him. You blinked twice and slid off of the chair. 

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

Jason gestured towards the window and you shook your head even more confused. He sighed and shook his head. 

“I think you should go, you have every right to be out there with the demon-brat. Besides like you said, he’s your partner. And as far as I’ve seen, you’ve saved the brat’s ass more times than he’s saved yours.” 

You looked down at your costume, then you looked back up at him. Eye widening, you blinked a few times. Opening your mouth you went to say something to him but he shook his head. He pointed to the window and began walking towards the door.

“I’m going to buy you a few minutes, now go.” 

Before you could reply, Jason opened the door and closed it behind him with a click. You looked down at your suit and gave it a thoughtful look before looking at the window. 

Why not? After all you couldn’t really fuck anything else up right?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rain had slowed to a sprinkle by the time you made it into the city with your mask on. You jumped onto a roof and stopped to look around when you felt a hand on your shoulder spinning you around. 

“What are you doing here?” Robin seethed as he dragged you away from the edge of the roof. 

Rolling your eyes you yanked away from him and took a few steps back. Throwing your hands up in exasperation you shake your head. 

“Helping, obviously! It isn’t right that my partner is out here but I’m not.”

“You shouldn’t be here!” Robin snapped, he opened himself to continue but stopped himself and shook his head, “You-you are so infuriating.”

You turned away from him waving your hands as you momentarily mimicked him. 

“I thought it wouldn’t matter because I can’t” Making quotation marks with your fingers, ignoring the pain,  you continue, “ ‘control’ people anymore. I won’t matter to the league.”

He goes quiet causing you to turn around and face him. A look flashes across Robin’s face and he shakes his head. 

“You’re right,” He remarked somewhat bitterly, “Without that ability you are-”

You shake your head stopping him mid-sentence. You knew what he was going to say, he was going to tell you that you were worthless. That you didn’t matter. He was going to voice every single bad thought you have ever had about yourself. However, you valued him and his opinion and hearing him say it might actually break you. So you looked him in the eyes and said. 

“Trust me when I say I don’t need you to tell me I’m worthless. I already know it.”

Something flickers in his eyes but he doesn’t really react,

“.... My mother,” He began, giving you a neutral look, “will kill you if she discovers you don’t possess the ability anymore.”

Before you could stop yourself you rolled your eyes and remarked, “And? Maybe I’m better off dead. Maybe everyone will be better off if I’m dead.” 

Robin froze and the two of you stared each other down. You had meant the words, truly deeply meant them. They were something you hadn’t realized you felt, something you hadn’t realized you wanted to say. Wanted to get out.  Part of you felt empty, it felt hollow. Taking in a breath you felt ice crystals coating your skin, coating your heart. 

Robin took a step forward and you took a step back, your chest was aching and Before either of you could say anything else you heard a shout across the comm. 

“Hey Rob! We’re gonna need some help here.” Nightwing’s voice echoed into your ear.

Looking to your left you spotted Red Robin and Nightwing dashing across the rooftops with, what looked like, four dark figures following them. Robin cursed and shot you a quick glare, pointing at you he nearly hissed, 

“Stay where you are, do not move. Do you hear me V/N? Do not move.” 

Rolling your eyes you flipped him off, however he took that as a yes and went sprinting off. Anger raged in your veins that he had once again told you what to do. So, you followed him. 

The figures overtook Red Robin and Nightwing, causing a fight to break out on a rooftop not too far away from you. You leapt across rooftops till you skidded to a stop on the rooftop just next to the fight. 

Robin quickly joined in on the fight and you noticed  more of the assassins joined the fight. Your stomach flipped and you instinctively threw a hand out, pain racing across it as you stretched your wound. Light appeared quickly in front of them, they stumbled backwards, blinded.

Skidding across the roof you jumped over to the next nearest roof. From there you were able to see a better view of the fight and noticed that despite your light illusion the assassins had overcome being stun, fairly quickly. 

Your heart was picking up in your chest, you watched almost helplessly as the assassins and vigilante’s fought each other. Of course you wanted to jump into the fight, but you knew jumping in would only cause problems. If you jumped in, someone else might accidentally let their guard down trying to protect you. And there was no way in hell you were going to let that happen. 

It quickly began to appear that the vigilantes were outnumbered and out matched. The deaths of your friends and partner flashed before your eyes almost like a glimpse of the future. With your heart in your throat you zeroed in on one of the assassins, he had a blade raised and was swinging it towards an occupied Robin. A click almost rushed across you, you were linked to something, but you didn’t know what. 

Closing your eyes you focused on your memories and emotions, all the times you spent laughing and joking with the others. How happy they made you and how it felt good to be in a family again. The feelings of protectiveness, the love you felt for each of them. 

Grasping onto that you shoved it towards what you were linked to. You opened your eyes just in time to see the assassin stumble. Then suddenly he stood up straight and shook his head almost as if he was brushing something off. Then much to your shock he began fighting another assassin. 

Your heart skipped a beat and you froze, hands still out pain coursing through them as you moved your fingers. You took in a breath and watched in awe and shock as the assassin fought for the vigilantes even going as far as trying to get the fight away from them.

“What the fuck Y/N?” You heard in your ear as a slight sense of dread began to spread over you, “why did you sneak out?”

Oracle began to scold you, but you weren’t listening, instead you were focusing on the assassin helping out Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin. A slight twang rang through you and you realized what just happened. 

You had just planted your emotions and memories in the assassin’s head, they were illusions that would fade soon, but- but this meant you could still control-manipulate- plant illusions and suggestions in someone’s mind. 

You dropped your hands and the assassin dropped to the ground. Blinking you noticed how another assassin had noticed you, cursing you turned and began to run. 

They were going to come after you, you had to get away. You were useful now, a danger, this was just yet another one of your fuck ups. You couldn’t believe you deluded yourself into believing you could help. That you could have Robin’s back. All you were going to do was get him killed.

As you skidded across a roof, your foot slipped and you went over the edge. Grasping onto the roof’s lip you clung on for dear life as panic and fear raced through you. You could feel your wounds opening up again and pain was the only thing you felt. 

Letting out a slight gasp you tried to ignore it and hold on when a thought occurred to you. If you dropped, if you died, you wouldn’t be a problem anymore. You couldn’t cause problems for the bats or be a pawn for the league. If you were dead, you couldn’t fuck up anymore. As the pain got so intense it caused you to have trouble breathing you saw your mother’s face.

It was serene and she smiled at you softly, running her hand across your cheek. She pushed your hair behind your ear and sighed. 

“Oh Miss Believer,” She said, her eyes shining, “no matter what. I’ll always love you.” 

With that you closed your eyes and let go. Hoping and wishing that wherever you ended up you’d see your mom again and maybe your dad. You were a believer after all. But despite all you believed in, you couldn’t keep lying to yourself. 

You were trouble and a royal fuck up. Better off dead and better off gone. Without you everyone would be happier… wouldn’t they?

Oh Miss Believer. 

Goodbye. 

#Damian Wayne #y/n x damian wayne #damian wayne x y/n #damian wayne x reader #reader x damian wayne #Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #Nightwing #Red Robin #Tim Drake #Batgirl #Stephanie Brown #steph brown #cassandra cain #black bat #Oracle #barbara gordon #angst #batboys #batfam #Alfred Pennyworth #Bruce Wayne #reader #fem!reader #y/n #request #OhMissBeliever #one-shot #Robin #reader x robin

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

#if there’s something messed up in this string of text #ignore it cause I’m not proofreading again ajdbd #I did not realize there were so many questions pls #asks #jade why 😔💜