#1950s murder couple au

[itbmojojoejo]

Crimes Of Passion | OFC X TLK AU

Pairings: Finan x OFC & Sihtric x OFC

Summary: 1950's London. Uhtred runs his business from his pub - Bebbanburg's Beacon with hopes to upgrade it to a Gentleman's Club. After his own and multiple other businesses under his protection are targeted in a string of attacks and robberies he seeks the help of his brother Ragnar, who owns high end club The Dunholm to battle the ongoing issues caused by other crime lords in the area. Cnut's younger sister Runa who aids their mission to squash the brothers Erik and Sigefrid captures the attention of not just Sihtric, but also Finan.

On this journey navigating the world of disloyal organised crime and the ever changing power dynamics which man will gain and keep her affections, if any?

Series Warnings: MDNI18+ NSFW Content. This series includes themes of a sexual nature and cheating(ish), alcohol consumption, smoking, violence including torture and murder, and other crimes throughout.

Wordcount: 4.9k | Part 2 | Other Works

Chapter Warnings: MDNI18+ NSFW Content below the cut. Smoking & Alcohol Consumption, Violence, Murder, Use of weapons, Oral (m receiving), Unprotected PinV.

Uhtred along with his wife, Gisela, and his most trusted men had been invited to a Jazz night Ragnar was hosting at his club The Dunholm so they could discuss a strategy at handling Erik and Sigefrid. The two brothers had recently hit all the businesses under Uhtred’s protection and stolen a large sum of money that belonged to him. Ragnar had offered the assistance of Runa, Cnut’s younger sister, who had proven herself capable of handling the type of interrogation needed to get the information they required.

Friday night Aethelwold had reluctantly told Runa who had paid off his debt to Ragnar in exchange for the information on Uhtred, she had returned the stolen bearer bonds and bullion on Sunday with the invitation to see Ragnar tonight. The live band filled the club decorated with gold gilded mirrors and taxidermy animal heads with vibrant melodies and velvet tones that already had couples dancing.

Dimly lit crystal chandeliers hung at different heights bathing the large ballroom in a low golden light, small round tables decorated with flickering candles were placed about in the space between the bar and the private booths with influential people from all over the city sitting at them and standing at the bar, the scent of cigars and cigarette smoke over powered the different smells and tones of aftershaves and perfumes.

Finan and Sihtric lingered at the bar with their drinks alongside Osferth and Clapa while their boss and his wife joined Ragnar and Brida at a booth. Sihtric was doing his regular scope when he caught sight of Runa making her way down the wide stair case from the balcony. Her copper waves spilled over her left shoulder catching the ambient light igniting a fiery glow, the emerald green strapless column dress she wore clung to her waist like a second skin and highlighted her toned frame.

Her eyes almost mimicking that of the deep oceans met his gaze in her descent and a smile tugged at the corners of her lips making Sihtric clear his throat feeling a bite of heat hit his cheeks. He thought she looked like a rare gem amongst the sea of muted tones the other guests wore and he knew he wasn’t the only one thinking this when he heard a low whistle escape Finan.

Osferth shifted nervously and looked into his glass as she approached, his memory filled with what he witnessed on Friday night.

ᛉ ᛉ ᛉ

Osferth had found himself sitting in his little Morris Minor with Sihtric and Finan, they had told him it would draw less attention than the Jaguar he drove Uhtred about in and they sat waiting outside of a posh hotel for Aethelwold’s replacement driver to arrive after the sudden disappearance of his regular Tilberht.

“What will she do to him?” Osferth asked tapping his thumb off the steering wheel

“Don’t know, don’t really care, I just need to know who’s door I’m knocking on.” Finan answered running his thumb along his bottom lip staring out the passenger seat window

“Kill him?”

“I don’t think she’ll go that far.” Sihtric offered, Runa hadn’t given him the impression she was a killer after their brief introduction on Wednesday but he was curious as to why her brother had been so apprehensive about her doing this job, was it just the protective nature of family or something more.

“And she’ll do it herself? Hurt him, I mean.” Osferth knew Brida could be aggressive but he hadn’t met many other women in the business who dealt with anything physical, they usually left that to the men.

“Osferth, I don’t know what she does but she gets people to talk to her and stops people from talking to anyone else so she must be doing something to them.” Finan answered rubbing at his beard now

“Pays them?” He pondered further about the methods of this unknown woman he’d heard about

“Bribery isn’t Ragnar’s style” Sihtric sighed at Osferth’s almost constant questioning and peeled off his black blazer

“Tell you what wee man, I’ll let you come into the warehouse with us so you can see it with your own two eyes” The irishman tapped his younger companions chest never peeling his eyes away from the direction he was looking

“Really?” Even though it was dark in the car it was easy to tell his blue eyes had lit up, he’d been itching to get away from the role of designated driver for some time now

“If that’s what you want, it’s about time we started sho- hold up.” Finan stopped short seeing two headlights belonging to the car they had been waiting for. He gave his usual shoulder squeeze to Osferth and got out of the vehicle swiftly making his way to the now parked Rover and the two remaining men watched on as Finan proceeded to greet the driver through his open window then deliver a very hard hit before dragging out the now unconscious man placing him in the boot and got into the drivers seat himself.

“He makes it look easy” Osferth whispered to himself almost in admiration getting a soft snort from Sihtric. Aethelwold appeared stumbling slightly out of the hotel bar’s door heading towards the car taking no notice of his surroundings ignoring his driver completely. They pulled off following behind Finan and when they got closer to the docks at a stop light Sihtric jumped from their car into the back seat next to Aethelwold who only chuckled cockily realising he wasn’t being taken home.

“Well isn’t this sobering.” Aethelwold uttered sarcastically at no one in particular looking around the abandoned building with its exposed bulbs harshly lighting the space from his position tied to a chair next to a lone table with a closed briefcase sitting on its surface.

“Why am I here? This must be-“ He began to spout

“Shut your mouth.” Finan spat, he grew more and more tired of Aethelwold every time he had to see him

Sihtric also took in his surroundings, the area hadn’t been abandoned for too long but decay was already visible from being so close to the water front. Some of the windows had been smashed in with bricks that lay strewn across the warehouse floor, and the odd bit of graffiti from kids that managed to find a way inside decorated a few of the walls.

Osferth stood further behind Finan and Sihtric trying to avoid making eye contact with Rollo who looked confused to see him as part of the group when the sound of heels clicking on the exposed concrete could be heard echoing off the walls. Runa strode towards them, her long black overcoat unbuttoned exposing the fitted white shirt she wore with no tie or cravat tucked into her wide legged grey trousers. Her long copper waves worn loose framed a heart shaped face adorned with freckles, her bottom lip was fuller than the top with a subtle cupids bow and almond shaped blue eyes.

Halfway into the room she began to drag a discarded chair by its back rest with her, the scraping noise similar to that of chalk on a board making Aethelwold scrunch up his face in disgust. She spun the chair around and took a seat an arms length away from the man she came to question pulling a silver cigarette case out of her jacket pocket along with an engraved zippo as she crossed one leg over the other.

“This can’t be that important if he’s sent a woman to do his dirty work.” Aethelwold jabbed earning a slap to the back of his head from Finan.

Runa smirked balancing a cigarette between her lips and lighting it up regarding the man opposite her for a moment before standing to shrug off her coat and put it on the table next to the briefcase. Sihtric observed how the fitted white cotton shirt hugged her toned waist and could see the slight shift of muscles moving in her arms, back and shoulders, she looked stronger than he had first imagined. She flicked the small amount of ash from her smoke nodding to Rollo for him to open the case.

“Where did you get the bearer bonds from?” She spoke calmly and Osferth found himself to be watching the danish redhead just as closely as Sihtric and Finan were.

“Why does that matter? I paid Ragnar.”

Runa laid out a set of pliers and hammer with a heavy clunk followed by a blow torch and Aethelwold cleared his throat shuffling in his seat

“You won’t hurt me, I know your rules.”

“Who paid your debt?” She followed up looking over the black revolver she now held in her hand, Sihtric studied the small thin tattoos that decorated Runa’s fingers and discovered they were runic symbols, there was also bruising to her knuckles on her right hand.

“Alfred.” She laughed at his answer flicking her next batch of ash into his hair standing close and staring down at him. Finan focused in on the way she wet her bottom lip before exhaling a cloud of smoke.

“Who did you sell information to?” Osferth began to feel nervous at the scene playing out in front of him, guns weren’t something they used often as part of Uhtred’s crew since the last turf war before he joined and Runa looked very comfortable holding the weapon at her side like she did this on a regular basis

“I sold nothing.” Aethelwold insisted staring straight ahead avoiding her eyes

“It was pretty dumb of you to pay off Ragnar with Uhtred’s money.”

“It isn’t Uhtred’s, it’s mine. I had a big win.” Aethelwold’s story changed once more

“No you didn’t, you gave information to a shark. Give me the name.” Finan and Sihtric exchanged a small frown, no loan sharks would touch Aethelwold because of his family connections and he was unreliable for repayment even with their high interest rates and easy use of violence, but it would make sense if he had sold information to another crime boss in return for clearing his debt instead.

“There is no shark, I didn’t get a loan.” Runa rolled her eyes and pressed the last of her lit cigarette into Aethelwold’s exposed neck getting a shriek out of him. Finan’s brow quirked at her action and also noticed the bruising to her hand.

“You’re boring me weasel. Rollo.” She jerked her head towards a door behind Osferth and Rollo disappeared through it re-emerging moments later with another man in tow, he had a cloth hood covering his head and his hands were bound behind his back.

Runa shoved the man to his knees on the cold floor next to Aethelwold and removed the hood revealing Tilberht, his mouth was gagged with a dirty piece of fabric and his face was bloody and bruised. Sihtric quickly analysed Rollo’s hands to see they were clear of any marks confirming that Runa may in fact inflict pain on others herself when she was doing this.

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret, I already know what you did, what information you gave and what was taken, but I need a name.” She spoke giving Tilberht’s shoulder a hard squeeze and he cried out in pain

“I did nothing.” She sighed at Aethelwold’s answer, she was hoping seeing his man in this state would of been enough but it was becoming clearer he only cared about his own self preservation.

She sat back down in the chair opposite him and gave a quick look to Sihtric then Finan with a barely visible shake of the gun in her hand as a silent warning for what was to come, it was the first time she’d made eye contact with either of them since she had arrived and as quickly as she looked she turned away again.

Without taking her eyes off Aethelwold she pointed the revolver at his man and pulled the trigger. Rollo smirked at the way Tilberht fell back instantly with a heavy thud, Finan glanced to his youngest companion over his shoulder to see Osferth pale faced and wide eyed, Sihtric had kept his gaze on Runa the entire time. She hadn’t flinched or blinked as she fired the gun and neither had he.

“You won’t hurt me, you can’t.” Aethelwold quaked with his chest heaving

“It’s me sat here and not Ragnar, or Uhtred because I don’t give a fuck about the rules Aethelwold. People have been hurt and killed because of what you did, so give me the name, or I’m going to shoot you in the balls and leave you here to bleed out.” Runa’s voice was still the same steady calm tone it had been from the moment she arrived, to drive home her point she yanked his chair closer with a surprising ease and held the barrel of the hot gun to Aethelwold’s crotch making him squirm.

“They are two brothers. Erik and Sigefrid. They agreed to buy me out if I gave them information on Uhtred and the businesses under his protection.” He instantly spilled looking down at the revolver

“Was that difficult? That’s all I wanted. Now, tell anyone about me or what happened here and you’ll be seeing me again very soon, understand?” She questioned leaning forward staring into his eyes making sure he heard her

“Yes, yes I understand.” He nodded frantically and she pulled back the gun handing it over to Rollo

“Excellent. You can let him go now boys.” Runa sat back in the chair, her ocean blue eyes sweeping over Sihtric who was still watching her standing with his hands in his black trouser pockets and she lingered for a moment on his shirt with the top two buttons undone. Finan hoisting up Aethelwold stole away her gaze and she gave the irishman a nod as he passed being closely followed by Osferth.

“She shot him in the head Sihtric” Osferth gaped still feeling the shock from what he had witnessed as Finan put Aethelwold into his rover making sure he drove straight home and no where else.

“Yes, that probably wasn’t the right time to have you join us.” He replied lighting a hand rolled cigarette and spinning his lighter between the pads of his thumb and middle finger

“Runa’s got some balls on her, did you see it? Not even a flinch.” Finan morbidly marvelled re-joining the small group, and Sihtric nodded agreeing with him.

“Did you not tell him there’s a man in his boot?” Osferth asked realising the original driver hadn’t been released from his small temporary prison yet

“Nah, it’ll be something fun for him to find later. Give me your keys, I’ll drive.” Finan saw the small shake in Osferth’s hand and thought it was best he wasn’t in control of a car right now.

ᛉ ᛉ ᛉ

“Runa” Sihtric greeted her warmly leaning one elbow back against the bar

She liked hearing the way he rolled the R of her name greeting him with a smile and let her eyes wander over his appearance. The well tailored black suit fit his body snuggly, his tie clip decorated with Thor’s hammer keeping the sleek black fabric in place against his white shirt, the shaved sides of his hair seemed to be fresher than what she had seen on Friday making the tattoo on his head look more vibrant.

“Boys.” She glanced over Finan, the cut of his suit was eerily similar but in a deep navy blue, Uhtred likely had them all visit the same tailor to ensure it matched his vision of the groups future.

“You look lovely” Finan complimented her with emphasis on the lovely, his eyes skimmed over her exposed collarbones admiring the pendant of two ravens that sat nestled in the hollow of her throat.

“So do you, but you are a little wonky” She breathed a laugh coming to stand between the two men and reached out straightening Finan’s clipless tie.

“Can I tempt you for a dance?” Finan asked flashing a cheeky smile leaning into her ever so slightly

“This tempo is a little fast for..” She trailed off gesturing to her dress that ended mid calf apparently restricting her from being able to participate in any high energy dancing

“And if they slow it down at any point, would you say no?” Her smile turned coy giving her attention to the bar tender who had a whiskey ready for her.

“Sister, Ragnar wishes to speak with you. You too.” Cnut gave a flat empty smile to Sihtric with a jerk of his head towards the booth Ragnar sat at with Uhtred as he approached the group.

Sihtric offered his arm to walk Runa across the room and she accepted it keeping her eyes ahead, her thoughts wondering if both men were being gentleman out of politeness or for ulterior motives but either way, she had no complaints, they both piqued her interest. She slid in besides Brida and Sihtric opted to sit on the opposite side next to Uhtred.

“You will both go to this hotel and casino, The Beamfleot, the brothers own across town and do some watching, I want to know what else goes on there.” Uhtred stated taking a sip from a champagne flute with his arm tucked around Gisela’s shoulders keeping her close to his side.

“Why not just one of us?” Runa queried confused at the joint job. She usually worked with Rollo or Jackdaw, not men from outside their firm.

“I can’t send you alone, and one unknown man is suspicious. A young couple looking to do a little gambling on a night away is easy to ignore.” Ragnar commented with a quirk of his brows tapping a finger lightly on the table

“Ragnar, I don’t spy.” Runa’s approach was what some would call less subtle, or loud.

“I know, he will spy.” Her cousin pointed the tapping finger to Sihtric who only nodded

“I can’t send Gisela or Eadith, they aren’t to be involved in schemes.” Uhtred declared, he liked to keep them away from the unsavoury side of his work

“When?” Sihtric asked plainly, it didn’t bother him this was something he did on a regular basis for his boss

“Friday.” Brida smiled stroking the tips of Runa’s hair as a silent message that she will do this job with no arguments, it was a small gesture that the two women had come to use over time to speak without speaking.

As the night wore on the upbeat tones of the piano harmonising with the double bass and drums joined with the colourful sounds of a saxophone eased off into the blues. The delicate strumming of an electric guitar melting each note into the next flowed like liquid silk, the rhythm of a bass guitar adding extra depth creating a steady pulse was joined by the piano guiding the melody along with muted drum beats.

Finan sidled up to Runa who had been perched on a stool at the bar with his mouth quirked up to one side offering her his hand, wetting her bottom lip she playfully rolled her eyes and stubbed out her cigarette before placing her hand into his and let him lead the way to the dancefloor. Runa let out a small hum as Finan placed his hand on her waist holding her closer than necessary and she gripped his shoulder letting him guide her through the slow steps and gentle twirls of their dance.

Ragnar let out a low chuckle eyeing Cnut at their booth watching his sister clearly enjoying the attention of the older irishman who currently held her own.

“Do we need to put a stop to that cousin?”

“No, she’ll eat any man alive. Even your little spy Uhtred.” Cnut laughed lightly looking over to the younger man leaning back against the bar sipping on his whiskey with a cigarette in hand also watching the pair on the dancefloor

“Sihtric? I don’t think he’s interested.”

“You are blind.” Gisela jested sipping from her glass of champagne “Come.” She added standing holding her hand out to her husband requesting a dance herself.

Runa slipped her hand further across Finan’s shoulder bringing herself even closer into his space holding the gaze of his deep brown eyes, his eyes flickered to her lips then back up splaying his hand across her back.

“Don’t do it.” She smiled drumming her fingers over the top of his hand recognising the look in his eyes

“Why not?” He replied with his own searching her eyes admiring how they sparkled like the sun shimmering off the seas waves under the lights of the chandeliers

“You know better irishman.” Runa was in no rush to be seen intimate with a man publicly, it made others who could be watching think you had a potential weakness that can be squeezed

“I think you just like to keep your options open.” He hadn’t missed the way her and Sihtric would linger on each other, or how she caught the attention of most men in the vicinity.

“Like that’s a crime? You men do it all the time.” She wasn’t wrong, Finan had his own little situation with Eadith he was also trying to navigate. Leaning closer brushing his lips on the edge of her cheekbone next to her ear he took a risk

“Well, if not here then let me take you home” He spoke lowly guiding them through another slow spin

“You have to earn a whole night with me.” She breathed a laugh at his confidence and decided to test how far he was willing to go

“And how do I do that?”

“Meet me upstairs in two minutes.” He pulled his head back a little wrinkling his brows together at her words

“What, are you scared?” Runa cooed tracing circles onto the back of his shoulder with a finger and bit her bottom lip

“Of you? A little.” He confessed with a small nod, it was rare to meet a woman who used violence over manipulation to get what she wanted and he admired it with a rightful caution

“Two minutes, I won’t offer again.” She declared and her eyes told him she meant it.

Sihtric watched Runa back away from Finan with a smile playing on her lips as she ascended the stairs and disappeared out of view towards the back of the balcony. As his sight drifted towards his boss still dancing with Gisela he caught Finan climbing the stairs out the corner of his eye making his top lip pull up briefly and he swallowed the surprising ball of jealousy that had grown in the pit of his stomach.

Finan spotted the movement of Runa’s emerald dress through a crack in the barely open door leading to Ragnar’s office as he got to the top of the stairs and walked towards it casually to avoid anyone paying attention to him, the night was late enough now for other patrons to be in a heady state of tipsy or drunk allowing him to slip past them easily and he gently closed the office door behind him.

Runa rested on the arm of the sofa swilling a whiskey glass and held it out for him to finish off as he came to stand in front of her, swallowing the last of the warm liquid he placed the crystal down on a side table without taking his eyes off her and she stood pulling him closer by the end of his tie. Finan’s lips crashed onto hers with his hands instantly gripping at her hips, the kiss was heated as they each battled for power over the other and he felt as though he was drowning in her taste of lingering tobacco and woody spice from the whiskey.

Without breaking away Runa unfasted his jacket buttons slipping her hands under the garment sliding it off his shoulders, dragging a hand up her side locating the zip to her dress he pulled it down along with the fabric freeing her breasts and kneaded at one earning a soft moan in response as she keened into his touch. Runa worked at undoing his trousers turning them around at the same time, gliding his trousers and boxers down to his thighs in one swift movement she gave his bottom lip a small bite and pushed him down to sit.

Finan watched her tug her dress up past her knees and settle on them between his legs trailing hot open mouthed kisses up the inside of his exposed thigh, taking his throbbing cock in her hand she swiped her thumb over the leaking tip and stroked him languidly. He exhaled slowly as she leant forward and experimentally circled her tongue around the head of his cock a few times before swiping her flattened tongue from base to tip up the entire side of his length and he groaned getting a smirk from her.

With her mouth watering she slowly sank down onto his cock breathing deeply through her nose taking him as deep as she can, Finan couldn’t help the light huff of a laugh that escaped as he budged against the back of her throat with no gag and moved to grip the side of her neck and jaw pulling her up and back down again. Her eye’s fluttered closed with a soft hum that vibrated through him as he continued to guide her movements, with baited breath he pulled her off with a pop and wiped the saliva from her swollen lips with his thumb getting lost in her lust blown eyes, the deep blue colour of her iris almost gone completely.

“álainn” Beautiful. Finan mumbled pulling her to his mouth for a searing kiss as she shifted further up onto her knees dragging her dress further up and past her hips exposing that she had been wearing no underwear to climb into his lap. He hooked his arms around her waist as she glided the entrance of her wet pussy over the head of his cock resting her hands on his shoulders and sank down onto him with no warning gasping at the delicious stretch.

Finan groaned burying his face into her neck digging his fingers into the soft skin of her half exposed back, she grinded down onto him again and again with the lewd noises of their entanglement sounding out into room. Remembering her comment of needing to earn an entire night he shifted forwards and flipped them to the side laying her beneath him on the cool leather, hovering over her resting his weight on the arm of the sofa she moaned at the feeling of him fucking into her, his pelvis brushing against her clit just right.

Knotting her hands into his shirt she held it up to watch his cock sinking into her, feeling the primal need of his release creeping up on him faster than he expected he took hold of her jaw in his other hand pouring his need into her mouth in a sloppy kiss slamming his hips into hers in harsh deep thrusts and her hands gripped him tighter feeling herself begin to clench around him. Her climax hit with a strained moan against his mouth and he soon followed with his own release filling her with his hot cum before collapsing on top of her.

After catching her breath she tapped his side with a light laugh signalling him to move, pulling away he sat back at the end of the sofa and watched as she stood pulling her dress back down over her hips and zipping up the side. Runa fixed her hair walking over to the large mahogany desk and took a cigarette from the holder Ragnar kept there.

“That word you said?” She spoke out not facing him lighting her smoke with a match and shook out the flame.

“Huh?” Finan stood pulling up his trousers tucking his shirt back in

“álainn. What does it mean?” She turned to watch him running her tongue along her lip as he straightened his tie and picked up his jacket from the floor.

“Oh uh” He was shocked she not only remembered the word but also its pronunciation, truthfully it had just slipped out in the moment but it wasn’t a lie.

The door suddenly opened revealing Uhtred and he looked between the pair taking in their slightly dishevelled appearance with a furrowed brow.

“We’re leaving in five.” Uhtred stated before retreating leaving the door wide open

“Yes boss.” Finan looked back to Runa taking another drag, he rubbed his hand through his beard and decided to take another risk “Let me take you out, properly.”

“No.” She declined flatly

“No? Was I that bad?” He asked with a chuckle

“No!” She laughed flicking her ash into the ceramic ash tray on the desk “I don’t date, Finan.”

“Why not?” He queried with a shake of his head

“I don’t have the time for something as childish as love.” She responded putting her cigarette back to her lips

“Oh, well I was asking you to go on a date, not to fall in love with me” He said playfully with raised brows

“People date with the intention of falling in love, or to get laid and we just did that so there’s no need for a date.” She responded nonchalantly with a small shrug of her shoulders

“Can’t argue with that logic, can I now.” Finan figured, he hadn’t expected her to be so against the idea of relationships or dating seeing as her brother was married with children, Ragnar was with Brida, and she saw Uhtred and Gisela.

“Your boss is waiting for you, on you go” Runa smiled knowing the cogs in his head were turning trying to figure her out.

Next

End Notes: oh she a bad bitch.

Taglist: @arcielee (If you want to be on here let me know xo)

#the last kingdom fanfic #finan x oc #sihtric x oc #finan fanfic #sihtric fanfic #tlk fanfic #tlk

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

A New AU List of Fics I ACTUALLY Want to Write/Am Writing (Mostly BNHA)

Fics Being Written

Pulling on the Strings of Destiny: A reading the future fic with a single teen mom Fem!Izuku. Long term project.

Pairings: EraserMic right now. I do have other pairings in mind, but as of now am not quite announcing.

TUMBLR TAG/AO3

Mission: Woo Izuku Series: Thanks to a quirk, Izuku's future potential partners are revealed to the world. Mostly pure shenanigans and a lot of ocs. Semi Crossover for Shits and giggles with Dragon Age

Pairings: Izuku/Everyone Basically. EraserMic, Warden/Zevran, Kamui Woods/OC (has not been shown yet but is planned), Hawke/Merrill

On AO3 (I kept switching the stupid tag on tumblr and gave up trying to figure it out)

Diverging Paths: A series where Fem!Izuku is put into an arranged marriage with various people. Long Term Project, multiple 'routes'.

Pairings: IiDeku, TodoDeku, TokoDeku, MonoDeku, HawksDeku (sort of? not really?) Others depending on the fic.

On AO3/On Tumblr

Izuku's Many Siblings: A ridiculous AU where Izuku has multiple siblings. Mostly shits and giggles.

Pairings: Midoriya Inko/Pixie Bob, OC/Dabi

On AO3

Not A fic... Yet, but either being plotted or is being written

Aphrodite Rising: A Fem!Izuku AU where her Quirk is Attract Info, gaining her the ability to gain information on people who find her attractive. She gains OFA as well.

Pairings: OT4 (Iida Tenya/Uraraka Ochako/Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto), All Might/Midnight, Aizawa/Fatgum, Mic/Thirteen, Midoriya Inko/Tsukauchi Naomasa, others... (it's a rarepair hell)

TUMBLR TAG/AO3 (not on yet)

Purge!AU (The Purge of Heroes? Title unknown): HPSC decides to go through the hero ranks and remove a good portion of heroes who are: incompetent, glory hounds, cruel heroes, caused to much collateral, didn't meet a quota or even just they weren't useful in some cases. This happens before Izuku goes to UA, and a lot of things changed.

Pairings: So far leaning towards OT3 (Tenya Iida/Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako)

Tumblr Post

Unnamed MASH AiDeku Soulmate AU (Titled as 'Tumblr Made me Do it' as of now, open to change): Age swaped Shinsou, Jirou, Kaminari, Tokoyami, Aizawa, Mic, Midnight and Kurogiri, Magical MASH soulmate stuff is a thing. Disabled Fem!Izuku, Uraraka and Iida. Jirou is Izumi's cousin... kind of crazy.

Pairings: Age changed AiDeku, ShinJiro, MicNight (more later)

Tumblr Post

Predator and Prey AU: Soulmate HawksDekuNatsu with Yandere!Hawks and Natsuo. Murder, drama, a lot of creepy shit.

Pairings: HawksDekuNatsu, one sided TodoDeku, other couples.

Original Tumblr Post/Tumblr Tag

The Fathers of Izuku: Inko went to a sperm bank to have Izuku. However, they found out way later the bank used sperm 'stolen' from HPSC facilities. Said sperm was that of heroes. Izuku is now possibly the child of multiple heroes. Would be various stories with different fathers. (Due to an incident where a few heroes got hit by a villain who could make them sterile, teen heroes also had their sperm taken to. Mostly done for shits and giggles.)

Pairings: Multiple.

No Tumblr Tag yet...

Fics I Have written on AO3 that... I really wanna keep going at, but may take a while. Might do rewrites?

Midoriya Izuku: The Game: Gamer Quirk AU! That's... all I can say. Might rewrite? I like it but lost a lot of interest for some reason...

On AO3

Omega Quirk: Izuku has a Quirk that makes him like an Omega from fanfiction.

On AO3

Decagon: The Supportive Hero: Izuku has a Quirk that lets him boost other Quirks.

On AO3

Devotion to the Aesthetic: Fem!Izuku is a youtuber and loves American/Canadian 1950s stuff.

On AO3

#bnha #bnha au #pulling on the strings of destiny #predator and prey au #aphrodite rising #other tags uhhh later #people ask me questions? #pwease?

[courtneys-overdue-law-homework]

Haunting AU rambles 1.0

I was thinking abt writing an AU where there's like ghosts haunting a manor that Gwen moves into (similar to BBC's Ghosts) and from there it may be a slice of life or a Gwen helps them move/pass on kind of deal. A pretty major part of the story is that all these ghosts committed/were victims of crimes but that isn't quite fleshed out yet xd

Some Ideas in regards to the ghost time periods and their inability to move on:

Courtney: 1920s, died a couple years before Stock Market Crash pf 1928. During her mid-20s, she was sentenced to house arrest for what was later known as the Belladonna Murders, resulting in the death of 17 victims- 6 of which were Courtney's own old and wealthy husbands, leading to the moniker "The Belladonna Black Widow". During her house arrest, she heard that the prosecution were seeking the death sentence, and took her life via the poison she ended others' with in a final 'fuck you' to the police.

Duncan: 1930s, think "Bonnie and Clyde" but it's just one person in charge p much. I don't think he'd be a killer for fun, but more out of necessity (cops and dangerous enemies for the most part). In the short span of half a decade, Duncan and the rest of his gang, the Killers, robbed through banks, mansions, and gatherings of the wealthy until most of the Bass and Duncan himself were killed in a shootout at the mansion.

Heather: 1950s, though she was a victim of a crime instead of the perpetrator of one. She was 'that girl', more or less. Heather had the ideal life and she was destined for stardom, often talking about the roles she'd play in movies. While walking home from an audition (that featured her name on the callback), Heather was kidnapped and held ransom at the mansion, but the perps ran off with the money and all that was left for the family to find was a body on a floor and a bullet through the head.

---

Prolly will think of more bases later :p but lmk who else you'd like to see!

#total drama au #duncney #tdi courtney #tdi duncan #tdi gwen #tdi heather #tdiHauntingAU #tw sui implied #tw violent imagery

[heartbytez]

HI TUMBLR!! i’ll start off my art blog by posting the 2 ocs me and my boyfriend have been consistently obsessed with for 2 years now

jack (ghost, no pronouns) and casper (not ghost, ey/em/eir pronouns) are a ghost x ghost hunter couple we came up with a while ago based on old hollywood and french new wave fashion!! more about them under the read more :) excited to be posting art on tumblr again waaaa

rbs > likes!! 💕💕💕

jack + casper started off as splatoon ocs (i might post those drawings later bc there are a lot of them) but were eventually shifted into a human universe!

jack (my bf’s oc) is the spirit of a journalist who was murdered sometime in the 1950s and has unfortunately remained stuck at the site of the murder... until casper comes along! jack winds up becoming bound to casper and ends up following em everywhere, much to eir delight as a ghost hunter who has been unable to discover any concrete evidence of the paranormal... until now :>

theres some aus we have floating around with them but the one in this post is a simple time travel au where casper gets to go back to the 50s and keep jack company! their story is sooo fun i’m so excited to get to talk about them here!!!

#artists on tumblr #original art #ghost x ghost hunter #ghost oc #ghost hunter oc #oc: casper #oc: jack #blood #jic! nothing too extreme #gay ocs #nonbinary ocs #pairing: jasper #oc art

[phantom-of-the-ruckus]

Amyrose Kruber

Note: I wanted to draw Priscilla first, but I owed this redesign for quite a while and it was time to give poor Amy an update. Priscilla will be next (hopefully)

TW: for mentions of death, abuse, and murder

Full name: Amyrose Jeanette Kruber

Nicknames: Ms. Kruber, Amy, AJ Kruber (just by Jake)

Age: 40-50s, two years younger than Owen

Active Status: Deceased (cannon), Alive (Hello Sisterhood)

Date of Birth: November 27, of most likely 1945-1950

Time of death: Around season 2 of the show (when the puppets were alive)

Cause of death: Strangulation (Murdered by Mortimer and Riley; death placed as suicide)

Love interest: Owen Gubberson (Unintended rejection in Cannon), Jake Bowen (Cannon Divergent universe)

Family: Owen Gubberson (Husband in Hello Sister Universe and other AUs), Amelia Kruber (Mother †), Earl Kruber (Father †), Rosemary Kruber (Sister †), Rebecca Kruber (Niece), Hannah Jenkins (Niece), Sarabeth "Beth" Jenkins (Grand-Niece), Mathew Jenkins (Nephew-in-law †), Anthony Pierson (Grand-Nephew-in-law), Exliza Dollison (Adopted daughter/ Shared universe with @dolly-royal), Priscilla Gubberson (sister-in-law), Arthur Gubberson (father-in-law. Hello Sisterhood and other universes) the handeemen and Scout (adoptive step-children just in Hello Sisterhood)

Friends: HQ crew, Handeemen (just in hello sisterhood and others AUs), Owen Gubberson, Jake Bowen, Matilda Screecher, Rachel letterer, Joel, Priscilla Gubberson, Samuel Burlington, the Burlington family

Enemies: The handeemen (cannon divergent and technically in cannon), Rachel Breadstone (Not friends not enemies), Victor Pierson (cannon divergence)

Job: Ventriloquist at Burlington's Co and Entertainment, puppeteer, co-director of the Handeemen Studios (Hello Sisterhood)

Amy was born in Texas and moved to Nashville, Tennessee at the age of 3. She was the second daughter of Amelia and Earl Kruber, and the youngest sister of Rosemary Kruber. She had a rough life in Tennessee after her father started to drink and become abusive towards her and her family. Amy has a scar in her back after her father threw a glass bottle when she was 5 years of age. Eventually, Amelia reported her Earl for domestic Abuse and he was sent to rehab when Amy was 14 years old. However, Amelia remained married to Earl.

Around this time, Rosemary took her to see a ventriloquist in town for her birthday. Amy became fascinated and decided to pursue a career of becoming a ventriloquist. She eventually left home at the age of 18 to live with her cousins in San Diego, California (just two years after Earl returned, but the abuse did end) where she further her education in the arts, and became a puppeteer for children shows, and adult audiences. At the age of 28 she started to puppeteer for puppet shows, and became affiliated temporarily with the Jim Henson company to puppeteer for 10 years until she became affiliated with the Burlington entertainment company and had a show on her own in one of their entertainment places. This was her job for the rest of her life and career.

She met Owen Gubberson when he came into a bar she was hosting a show. She recognized him from the convention and Mortimer's Handeemen pilot. They talked a bit and became friends ever since after talking endlessly about puppets. Both eventually developed feelings for the other.

Amy helped Owen with his company and show through covering for puppeteers and give him some advice in the show business. However, she made clear that she had no intentions in joining the Handeemen Studios, but would gladly referrer to Owen for future investors and producers. They also had a couple of fights regarding Owen's micromanaging, but Amy didn't involve herself too much on his business

After the success of the first season, the studios had a small party (Mortimer was alive around this point). Amy took Owen for a dance, and they were having a good time. Eventually a slow song hit, and Amy decided to build some courage and tell Owen that she loved him. Owen being in shock because Amy liked him back but also having, so social skills at all stays quite unable to tell her "I love you too" which Amy takes as a rejection from his part. Owen did try to reach out to her the next day but she interrupted him and told him they were better off as friends as she jokes "It is better than just me hangin' like a doll, ya know"

She started to develop feelings for Jake Bowen (same with him) after the two started to become close, but she decided not to move forward as she still loved Owen. They never mentioned their feelings.

As the months began to pass, strange events involving the puppets occurred, and many problems with Rachel, Amy and Owen's relationship slowly went downhill. After the book was revealed. Amy had a small confrontation about Owen and what was going on. Owen desperately tried to tell her that Mortimer was alive and brought the others as well, and in vain tries to make Mortimer talk to Amy which she angrily says "Mortimer is just a puppet!" before leaving just as Mortimer mocks Owen about playing dead.

That same night, Amy starts to have regrets and sends Owen an apology via a phone message before she receives a call from Owen (which was actually Mortimer) about meeting in the studio to talk and help him with his office. Just as Amy enters she is captured by the puppets and is hanged at the main stage carrying a fake suicide note. She died as she saw Owen rushing to save her This is also at the same time Mortimer hints to Owen about a small surprise and Jake coming to the studio to pick some stuff but getting distracted by a scream. Owen rips the rope and embraces as he apologizes and laments about not saying he loved her too. Jake arrives and has a small fight with Owen asking about what happened. The police arrive and declared that Amy committed suicide.

During the press, Owen tries to talk with Rosemary about what happened as it was rumored Owen murdered Amy, but Rose cuts him off and tells him that she doesn't want to hear anything about him or "his stupid puppet company" as she blames him for Amy's death. This would lead to Rosemary sheltering her daughters (Rebecca and Hannah) and her grandchildren (Sarabeth and her cousins. Rose is Beth's grandmother) from the anything related to the Handeemen and puppets in general.

------

In Hello Sisterhood, the history is mostly the same except the puppets were brought much later due to Owen wanting to save his show from low ratings. The spell turned them Human, but this was after season 1. During the party where Amy confessed to Owen, he had the courage to tell her he loves her back and the two become a couple. After the whole good puppets brought to life, Amy and Owen decide to work together and merge their job thus becoming the directors of what is the studio in Hello Sisterhood.

The lore in the fanfic is different due to being written before the midnight show.

-----

Some small trivia about Amy

She was my first OC created and was intended to be Owen's love interested and a parallel to the main puppet duo in a former idea (this was in 2021) about the backstory of the puppets.

Sarabeth was always intended to be her grandniece, but the whole taboo with Owen's company was not implemented yet.

An inside joke I have with Amber is that Amy is like the Kenny of my universe, she constantly gets killed.

In other AUs she features in, she's Owen's wife, and Hello Sisterhood is probably the only AU where she's Owen's girlfriend but soon to be his wife.

In the academy AU part 1, Amy will take a role inspired by Host as she will help Scout around as "The Mourning Widow" but is a separate AU.

There is a chance she might be mentioned in "Once Upon a Midnight Dreary" as Dr. Gubberson's dead dove/former love in the Poe Fashion

Amy has a bast collection of sweaters she likes to wear. During summer, she has squared pattern blouses she hears. She likes to cover her scars, but she just wears those clothes because she just loves them.

Her favorite films are Dirty Dancing and Grease.

Favorite Musical is a Day in the Park with George and into the woods.

Also, she got Owen to dress as a flower to her bumblebee costume. Everyone said the flower looked rather withered due to Owen's frown

#hello puppets #Amy Kruber (OC) #Amy (OC) #owen gubberson #jake bowen #tw: child abuse #tw: mentions of abuse #tw: mentions of alcohol #Tw: mentions of alcohol abuse #tw: death #tw: murder #tw: strangulation #deceased character

[grelleswife]

Maybe Yor Briar and Loid Forger are like is Fembastian and Bard got together!! 😍

I have mixed feelings on this point. Yor certainly bears a striking resemblance to my mental image of Fembastian! However, if we examine the couple’s personalities and skill sets, I actually think the Twiyor dynamic is more akin to fanon Sebamey, with Mey Rin as Yor and Sebastian as Twilight.

Similarly to Mey, Yor was trained to kill from her youth, and is frighteningly competent at her profession. Both women care deeply about those closest to them, willing to shed a river of blood to protect their families (whether found or biological). Rather than being reduced to cold, murderous machines by their line of work, both ladies are sweet and bubbly in their domestic lives, regardless of their occasional social blunders. As we’ve seen during Yor’s chaotic drunk moments and Mey Rin’s bouts of pining for Sebastian, they also have a sensuous, passionate side. Once they gathered their bearings, I’m confident that either one could be the top in their respective relationships. 😉

Human!Sebas would make an impeccable elite spy. His perfectionism, obsessive work ethic, and attention to detail could readily put him on equal footing with Loid. Even without demonic shapeshifting powers, spy!Sebastian would be a master of disguise, able to charm and manipulate his way to success no matter how impossible the mission. He’d remain cold and aloof, keeping others at arm’s length to prevent them seeing behind his facade…until the little family he brought together began inexorably chipping away at the walls he’d built around his heart. Loid’s flustered reactions to his amazing wife give me similar vibes to fanon!Sebastian simping for Mey! 😌 Agent Michaelis has seduced targets of various genders without batting an eye…b-but what are these peculiar emotions that render him blushy and tongue-tied whenever Mey Rin smiles? 😳 Is he losing his touch?! 😰 (Really, the dork is just falling in love)

Since I headcanon Sebas as pan and genderfluid and Mey Rin as bi, the scenario of spy and assassin posing as a mundane middle-class family could also have certain parallels to the experience of a queer couple able to pass as straight, and forced to maintain that ruse of the 1950s cisheteronormative nuclear family due to the oppressively conservative society in which they live.

Of course, O!Ciel is an obvious candidate for Anya in this AU. After losing his parents in a tragic fire, the pint-sized telepath was seized by a shady government laboratory that wanted to study and train his abilities in order to use him as a bioweapon. However, O!Ciel escaped their clutches and found his way to a local orphanage, where Sebastian eventually chose him for Operation Strix. Babey boi quickly latches on to his reluctant dad (/mum/parent), and “Mummy” (Mey Rin), and is determined to keep his new guardians together so that he can be part of a happy family once again.

I’ll stop prattling now, but this could be a fun AU! 💖🖤

#kuro asks #kuroshitsuji #sebamey #mey rin #sebastian michaelis #o!ciel #spy au

[whumpypunk]

Punk

She/her/they cis lesbian

Professional ghostwriter/Professional editor; I write and edit romance novels for clients. I've also started self-publishing under my own pennames.

Sideblog for writing/whump stuff! My main is @jeyuwuso

My favorite whump tropes include conditioning, Stockholm syndrome, pet whump, carewhumper, and intimate whump. I also love the comfort side of hurt/comfort, be it toxic or fluffy

I write a lot of NSFWhump, but I'll always tag it with both #nsfwhump and #nsft

I write about people getting sad and fucking about it, mostly

My mom once said I treat boys like kittens and no one has ever called me out so brutally before or since

OCs below the cut!

Gladwell & Hart: A ghostly private eye and a hapless medium make an unlikely crime-solving duo, and, eventually, an even unlikelier couple.

Harry Gladwell: He/they. Died at 29. Holocaust survivor. The ghost of a private eye from the late 1950s. He's stuck in the living realm until he solves his own murder. A snarky grump with a heart of gold, he's blunt and distrustful of the living, but he's always willing to help a fellow ghost in need.

Jared Hart: He/him. 32. A stoner psychic medium struggling to pay off his debts by opening a small business in Detroit. He created a semi-popular web comic, but abandoned it after a mental breakdown. Perpetually anxious with low self-esteem, he's loyal and empathetic to a fault.

RCW Romance: A romance series centered around the drama of the pro wrestling world. I know a lot of people aren't into wrestling OR romance novels lol, but I love these characters enough to write AUs of them too.

Asher Williams: He/him. 30. A bratty asshole raised by neglectful addicts, he lives to pick fights with anyone and everyone. He only likes about three people. He's hardheaded and rude, but he's also smart, honest, and protective of his loved ones. Dating Dean. Summer's best friend.

Dean Jones: He/him. 31. Charismatic, charming, and handsome, everyone sees him as a classic all-American hero. Secretly, he struggles with intense anxiety and struggles to get close to people. His kindness can make him a bit of a doormat. Dating Asher.

Summer Singh: He/him. 30. Having grown up living a nomadic lifestyle with New Age parents, he makes friends fast and loves being the center of attention. Though he can be careless and selfish - even childish - he's loving, genuine, and always looking to make other people happy. Dating Harlow and Io. Asher's best friend.

Harlow Cooper: He/him. 29. After a youth filled with abuse from both family and partners, he doesn't trust easily. Under an abrasive (and occasionally violently explosive) shell, he's a sensitive, artistic dreamer. Once someone earns his loyalty, they have it forever. Though he often lashes out, it's either due to fear or hurt. Dating Summer and Io.

Iokua "Io" Matua: He/him. 31. His gangbanger brother took the fall for him when he shot and killed their abusive father. Io spends his time trying to free his brother and make his sacrifice worth it. He's stoic, disciplined, honest, and understanding. He feels a deep responsibility to care for his loved ones. Dating Summer and Harlow.

(There are others, but these are the ones I'm most excited about)

[riley1cannon]

🧠🌙🏅

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

Oh boy, so so sooooooo many... There's the one I scribbled down after watching the first Enola Holmes movie, and remembering how in COPPER BEECHES Sherlock tells Violet Hunter he shouldn't like any sister of his to take Jephro Rucastle's wacko job offer. So that had me thinking of Enola going undercover as a governess to carry out an investigation (me being me, there would be some kind of HOUND-like spooky shenanigans going on), and Sherlock going undercover as a groom, ala SCANDAL, to be close at hand in case of trouble, of which there would of course be tons.

Still love the idea but no idea if anything will ever come of it. Same with a couple of Superbat AUs, both mysteries. One is an Agatha Christie-style manor house mystery, set in the 1950s. The other would be more of a thriller, where Clark is part of a true crime program doing a show for the 25th anniversary of the still unsolved murders of Thomas and Martha Wayne. Bruce, naturally, wants nothing to do with it, but when (Option A) Clark uncovers new evidence, or (Option B) the killer/someone claiming to be the killer, contacts Bruce and starts a sinister cat-and-mouse, catch me before I kill again game, the two of them join forces to solve the mystery. The biggest hold up for both fics is that they really need to be of the no-capes variety, and I'm just not sure how to write them, Bruce especially, if Batman and Superman aren't in the picture.

There are also plans to do the sequel to "Curses Foiled Again," where they team up with Constantine to stop the Ouija Board Killer. There's the X Files fic I never completed but still think about from time to time, where they're mixed up with the Cthulhu Mythos. Not to mention a sequel to my Ramses & Nefret AUish fic...

Don't even ask me about this Star Wars western AU that flits across my mind at times, that would sort of be like Magnificent Seven, except in space...

:sigh:

🌙  What time of day do you prefer to write? Why?

Mornings are so-so, but late evening is really the best. Mainly because there are fewer interruptions. The only drawback is bedtime, and how ideas will continue to churn when I really should be sleeping.

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

My daily kudos email from AO3 gives me a happy buzz every morning, as does any comment that might turn up. It's a bit mystifying why either one occurs, since these are all old fics (some have been up there for more than a decade), and I have no idea how anyone even finds things like Disclosures or Clark Kent Kissed Me. It's a treat to know folks do unearth them, though, and find them pleasing. Lately it's been particularly pleasing to see my Trinity threesome fic, When You Least Expect It, getting kudos. That's the last fic I wrote that warranted an explicit rating, so it does my ego a bit of good to know some people think it was kind of sexy. (When I first posted it on LiveJournal, some Anon mocked me for thinking I'd written something sexy -- "Nah, it's not sexy. But you tried." And yep, I remember the comment verbatim after all this time. It's not coincidence I haven't written anything that wasn't fluff since.)

Yes, well, let's finish on a happier note by saying I am incredibly pleased with myself for having pulled off Duck, Duck, Goose without ever going over the top. That is no mean trick when you've got Batman picking a fight with the Soulmate Goose of Enforcement. (Wasn't good enough for the Rec Center to include in their recent roundup of Soulmate Goose of Enforcement fics, though. Hmph)

Thank you!

Fanfic Ask Game

[thewildwilds]

Get your Valentine the perfect gift!

Based on this photo:

#kuzupeko #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #peko pekoyama #danganronpa #sdr2 #dr2 #fuyupeko #anh's art #otp: i heard your voice #1950s murder couple au #there is nothing wrong with this display #it is in fact absolutely correct

[oh-god-its-this-thing]

OK s,,so i made traditional art for @thewildwilds of their 1950′s AU i’m sorry my camera is shitty, but i just love their au too much

#IM SORRY IT SUCKS DHDSGHFBXGBHG #hhhhhhhh #why is the 1950's murder couple au so cute i??? #i fucking love them so muchhhhh #babey time #HSHDGBCUHFNVBCFGXBV HBNNNHMBNV X FVFNBNHHCVFXHVXNXV

[godhater]

forget mbti! the true determination of your personality is what @thewildwilds kuzupeko au is your favorite.

#mine is 1950s murder couple au

[kuzuyama]

｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ i miss my boyfriend so so much so i was looking back on these photos and realized that i never posted them here!!! him and i are planning on cosplaying a few of @thewildwilds aus, specifically the 1950s murder couple and the gambler/yakuza ones pretty soon and i am so so so excited you don’t even know c: my bf is @eddieasher but he is sooo inactive and also his blog is so empty. fuyuhikos blog would look exactly like his lol he would only download tumblr so peko could send him cat posts. (also look at my bf he is so handsome!!! kin daters <3 )

#peko pekoyama cosplay #cosplay #danganronpa #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #kuzupeko #peko pekoyama #super danganronpa 2 #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu cosplay #fuyupeko #kuzupeko cosplay #fuyupeko cosplay #sdr2 #danganronpa cosplay

[alchemine]

Baxley school AU

At a 1950s coeducational school run by married couple Carson and Hughes, newly hired history teacher Joseph Molesley meets, among others: Mrs Patmore, the school cook; geography teacher Daisy Mason; Tom Branson, who teaches metalwork to the boys; and Phyllis Baxter, who teaches sewing to the girls.

Everything is going well until Lord Grantham, the school's patron, pays a visit with Thomas Barrow, his aide, who also happens to be Miss Baxter's childhood friend. When the Earl is found horribly murdered and suspicion falls on Thomas, will Mr Molesley believe Miss Baxter's assurances that Thomas couldn't have done it? Can they clear his name together?

#sorry robert but someone had to be the body #downton abbey #thomas barrow #phyllis baxter #joseph molesley #robert crawley

[gladiates]

56 french-language film recs!

I wanted to find some movies I can watch to improve my French, so I looked for films available on Kanopy (which is rly cool--if you live in the US, you can stream some movies for free if your library or school subscribes to it!) All of the following films are on Kanopy, and I imagine you can also find many of them on p*racy sites (totally not endorsing that at all no sir!). I’ve listed each film’s title along with its year and score on IMDB. I only included movies with at least 1,000 IMDB ratings and an average of at least 7/10 so they’re all reasonably acclaimed! I also included a short summary of each from IMDB as well. List below the cut because it’s long!

Cleo From 5 to 7 (1962, 7.9 from ~17.0k votes): Cleo, a singer and hypochondriac, becomes increasingly worried that she might have cancer while awaiting test results from her doctor.

The Rules of the Game (1939, 8.0 from ~26.6k votes): A bourgeois life in France at the onset of World War II, as the rich and their poor servants meet up at a French chateau.

Breathless (1960. 7.8 from ~73.1k votes): A small-time thief steals a car and impulsively murders a motorcycle policeman. Wanted by the authorities, he reunites with a hip American journalism student and attempts to persuade her to run away with him to Italy.

The 400 Blows (1959, 8.1 from 105.1k votes): A young boy, left without attention, delves into a life of petty crime.

Purple Noon (1960, 7.8 from 14.2k votes): Tom Ripley is a talented mimic, moocher, forger and all-around criminal improviser; but there's more to Tom Ripley than even he can guess.

The Return of Martin Guerre (1982, 7.4 from ~4.0k votes): In medieval France, some villagers challenge a man's claim of identity when he (as he says) returns home from some time in the army.

Last Year at Marienbad (1961, 7.8 from ~20.3 votes): In a strange and isolated chateau, a man becomes acquainted with a woman and insists that they have met before.

The Wages of Fear (1953, 8.1 from ~54.5k votes): In a decrepit South American village, four men are hired to transport an urgent nitroglycerine shipment without the equipment that would make it safe.

Tell No One (2006, 7.5 from ~50.7k votes): An accidental discovery near a doctor's estate stirs up some painful memories eight years after his wife's hideous murder, and now, things are bound to take a turn for the unexpected. Does the good doctor know more than he's letting on?

Queen Margot (1994, 7.4 from 16.3k votes): Young Queen Margot finds herself trapped in an arranged marriage amidst a religious war between Catholics and Protestants. She hopes to escape with a new lover, but finds herself imprisoned by her powerful and ruthless family.

Un Flic (1972, 7.1 from ~8.2k votes): After a shaky first heist, a group of thieves plan an even more elaborate and risky second heist.

Monsieur Hulot's Holiday (1953, 7.5 from ~16.8k votes): Monsieur Hulot comes to a beachside hotel for a vacation and accidentally, but good-naturedly, causes havoc.

La Haine (1995, 8.1 from ~150.0k votes): 24 hours in the lives of three young men in the French suburbs the day after a violent riot.

Alphaville (1965, 7.1 from 22.9k votes): A U.S. secret agent is sent to the distant space city of Alphaville where he must find a missing person and free the city from its tyrannical ruler.

Tomboy (2011, 7.4 from 18.4k votes): A family moves into a new neighborhood, and a 10-year-old named Laure deliberately presents as a boy named Mikhael to the neighborhood children.

Full Moon in Paris (1984, 7.4 from 3.8k votes): Louise, a young woman, who recently finished her studies in arts, is working as a interior decorator trainee. Playing the game of seduction, her life becomes more and more complicated.

Bob the Gambler (1956, 7.7k from 10.8k votes): After losing big, an aging gambler decides to assemble a team to rob a casino.

La Chinoise (1967, 7.1 from ~6.2k votes): A small group of French students are studying Mao, trying to find out their position in the world and how to change the world to a Maoistic community using terrorism.

The Innocents (2016, 7.3 from ~9.6k votes): 1945. Mathilde is a French Red Cross doctor working on a mission to help the French survivors of the German camps. While she works in Poland, she is asked for help by a nun. In her convent, several nuns are pregnant.

Germinal (1993, 7.1 from ~4.7k votes): In mid-nineteenth-century northern France, a coal mining town's workers are exploited by the mine's owner. One day, they decide to go on strike, and the authorities repress them.

BPM (Beats Per Minute) (2017, 7.4 from ~13.4k votes): Members of the advocacy group ACT UP Paris demand action by the government and pharmaceutical companies to combat the AIDS epidemic in the early 1990s.

Touchez Pas Au Grisbi (1954, 7.8 from ~6.7k votes): An aging, world-weary gangster is double-crossed and forced out of retirement when his best friend is kidnapped and their stash of eight stolen gold bars demanded as ransom.

Jeanne Dielman, 23 Commerce Quay, 1080 Brussels (1975, 7.8 from ~7.4k votes): A lonely widowed housewife does her daily chores, takes care of her apartment where she lives with her teenage son, and turns the occasional trick to make ends meet. However, something happens that changes her safe routine.

Port of Shadows (1938, 7.8 from ~8.2k votes): A military deserter finds love and trouble (and a small dog) in a smoky French port city.

Lumumba (2000, 7.2 from ~1.8k votes): The true story of controversial leader of independent Congo, Patrice Lumumba.

Three Colors: Blue (1993, 7.9 from ~89.6k votes): A woman struggles to find a way to live her life after the death of her husband and child.

The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967, 7.7 from ~8.4k votes): Two sisters leave their small seaside town of Rochefort in search of romance. Hired as carnival singers, one falls for an American musician, while the other must search for her ideal partner.

The Brand New Testament (2015, 7.1 from ~29.8k votes): Did you know that God is alive and lives in Brussels with his daughter?

La Rafle (2010, 7.1 from ~8.2k votes): A faithful retelling of the 1942 "Vel' d'Hiv Roundup" and the events surrounding it.

Diabolique (1955, 8.0 from ~61.4k votes): The wife and mistress of a loathed school principal plan to murder him with what they believe is the perfect alibi.

OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (2006, 7.1 from ~18.5k votes): Secret agent OSS 117 foils Nazis, beds local beauties, and brings peace to the Middle East.

Mon Oncle (1958, 7.8 from ~18.8k votes): Monsieur Hulot visits the technology-driven world of his sister, brother-in-law, and nephew, but he can't quite fit into the surroundings.

A Man Escaped (1956, 8.3 from ~19.1k votes): A captured French Resistance fighter during WWII engineers a daunting escape from a Nazi prison in France.

The Well-Digger's Daughter (2011, 7.0 from ~3.6k votes): In 1930s southern France, a father is torn between his sense of honor and his deep love for his daughter when she gets in trouble with the wealthy son of a shopkeeper.

Weekend (1967, 7.2 from ~13k votes): A surreal tale of a married couple going on a road trip to visit the wife's parents with the intention of killing them for the inheritance.

Claire's Knee (1970, 7.6 from ~9.0k votes): On lakeside summer holiday, a conflicted older man is dared to have a flirt with two beautiful teenage stepsisters despite his betrothal to a diplomat's daughter and the fact that the girls have boyfriends.

Shoot the Piano Player (1960, 7.5 from ~17.5k votes): Charlie is approached by his crook brother Chico, who is chased by two gangsters. Charlie helps him to escape, but he upsets the criminals, so when his brother Fido is kidnapped, Charlie has to take an attitude with tragic consequences.

My Night at Maud's (1969, 7.9 from ~10.8k votes): The rigid principles of a devout Catholic man are challenged during a one-night stay with Maud, a divorced woman with an outsize personality.

Eyes Without a Face (1960, 7.7 from ~27.5k votes): A surgeon causes an accident which leaves his daughter disfigured, and goes to extremes to give her a new face.

Three Colors: Red (1994, 8.1 from ~90.4k votes): A model discovers a retired judge is keen on invading people's privacy.

The Grocer's Son (2007, 7.0 from ~2.3k votes): Antoine moves home to help his mom drive the mobile grocery, when his dad's hospitalized. He brings Claire along, hoping she'll become more than a friend. He drives around Provence's countryside, selling mainly to old people.

Pickpocket (1959, ~7.7 from 19.6k votes): Michel is released from jail after serving a sentence for thievery. His mother dies and he resorts to pickpocketing as a means of surviva

La Collectionneuse (1967, 7.5 from ~6.6k votes): A womanizing art dealer and a painter find the serenity of their Riviera vacation disturbed by a third guest, a vivacious bohemian woman known for her long list of male conquests.

Code Unknown (2000, 7.2 from ~11.9k votes): A young man harasses a homeless woman, another man protests, the police arrest both and the woman has to leave the country. What were their various story-lines leading up to this event?

Children of Paradise (1945, 8.4 from ~18.2k votes): The theatrical life of a beautiful courtesan and the four men who love her.

The Last Metro (1980, 7.4 from ~12.5k votes): In occupied Paris, an actress married to a Jewish theater owner must keep him hidden from the Nazis while doing both of their jobs.

Danton (1983, 7.5 from ~6.4k votes): In 1793, as the Terror begins in France, Georges Danton, a champion-of-the-people, returns to clash against Maximilien Robespierre and his extremist party.

Orpheus (1950, 8.0 from ~10.5k votes): A poet in love with Death follows his unhappy wife into the underworld.

Lacombe, Lucien (1974, 7.7 from ~6.5k votes): In 1944, an 18-year old boy from small-town France, collaborates with the Nazi-regime and subsequently falls in love with a Jewish gir

L'Atalante (1934, 7.8 from ~14.4k votes): Newly married couple Juliette and a ship captain Jean struggle through marriage as they travel on the L'atalante along with the captain's first mate Le père Jules and a cabin boy.

Le Million (1931, 7.4 from ~3.1k votes): An impoverished painter and his rival engage in a race across Paris to recover a jacket concealing a winning lottery ticket.

La bête humaine (1938, 7.6 from ~6.8k votes): In this classic adaptation of Emile Zola's novel, a tortured train engineer falls in love with a troubled married woman who has helped her husband commit a murder.

Black Girl (1966, 7.4 from ~3.5k votes): A black girl from Senegal becomes a servant in France.

Out 1 (1971, 7.8 from ~1.1k votes): Following the May 1968 civil unrest in France, a deaf-mute and a con artist simultaneously stumble upon the remnants of a secret society.

Les Misérables, Part 1 (1934, 8.2 from ~1.5k votes): The lives of numerous people over the course of 20 years in 19th century France, weaved together by the story of an ex-convict named Jean Valjean on the run from an obsessive police inspector, who pursues him for only a minor offense.

Beau Travail (1999, 7.4 from ~8.5k votes): This film focuses on an ex-Foreign Legion officer as he recalls his once glorious life, leading troops in Djibouti.

#french #french language #french langblr #langblr #french resources

[sometimesiwrite]

The Way It Is

Prompt: Fake Dating

Pairing: Lambert & Essi Other Characters: Julian (Jaskier), Eskel/Geralt

Rating: Teen Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings; platonic/queerplatonic dynamics; pressure to engage sexually; coarse language; alcohol/intoxication; modern AU.

Summary: When Essi and Lambert are setup on a blind date, they don’t expect to get along as well as they do. However, when they decide to keep their relationship platonic and non-romantic, they realize they might face some uncomfortable pressure. For the sake of simplicity, they decide to tell people they’re dating, but is it sustainable? 

@witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo​

Essi fidgeted with the bent corner of her cafe menu, looking around at the various styles of local artworks hanging on the walls. She was early by about ten minutes, but that didn’t stop her from checking the pearlescent dial of her watch every thirty seconds. Finally, the bell above the door tinkled and a man walked in. Essi could tell from the way he was looking around that he was there to meet someone—her. The only other people sitting alone in the cafe were working on laptops and tablets; no one else waiting for a date. And this man was most certainly looking for one. 

He was handsome in a ruffled sort of way, though he’d clearly put in a bit of effort. His black casual dress shirt and slim light-wash jeans fit his lean frame impeccably, and a subtle quantity of mousse was clearly doing its best to tame his short, scruffy brown hair. Even his bristly beard appeared to have been trimmed recently. Though there was nothing particularly remarkable about his clothing, there was something striking about the way he carried himself, a devil-may-care sort of presence that Essi appreciated. For a blind date, she thought, it certainly could be worse. Allegedly, they knew each other, at least based on his abruptly out-of-the-blue text, and the closer she looked, the more her memory of him crystalized. 

A loud ping! emitted from Essi’s phone and the man looked up from his own cellular device, clearly having just texted. 

“Uh, Essi? Essi Daven, right?” He took a step towards her and leaned in, pointing to his phone screen. 

“Yes,” Essi stood to shake his hand, “hi.”

“Nice to see you again. Lambert.”

They sat down awkwardly, both struggling to find the will for smalltalk. 

“So…” Lambert had become keenly interested in a black-and-white digital photograph behind Essi’s shoulder.

“Listen,” Essi could feel the words start to tumble out of her mouth, and it was too late to do anything about it. Lambert raised an eyebrow,  “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to be honest and probably regret it later: I don’t really do this. Dating. I find it strange and uncomfortable and if I’m perfectly honest I think I’d rather die.” She didn’t cringe apologetically, which would have been the expected behaviour to accompany an outpouring of disinterest. Instead she stared at him, wide-eyed, lips slightly pursed as a muscle in her neck twitched, waiting for his response.

Lambert laughed. Genuinely laughed—a joyful release of tension and dread, “Oh, thank Fuck!” Essi blinked in pleasant surprise and watched as Lambert began to relax.

“Excuse me?” Her startlingly blue eyes widened in amusement. 

“No, no, I just mean—I would absolutely and one-hundred percent, without a doubt, rather die in a hole than date,” Lambert slotted the edge of the menu under his fingernails and let his eyes wander a little more freely around the cafe. 

“So then… why?” 

Hm. Direct, frank, amusing lack of filter… the memories were starting to come back from what limited, heavily inebriated, time they’d spent together.

There was something about the straightforwardness of this endearingly odd woman that made Lambert feel infinitely more comfortable. Usually, any kind of interaction with the potential of building mutual interest made him feel like he was playing a game he didn’t know the rules to. The signals, the code words that never meant what they said: having sex on the first date means you’re a slut; not having sex on the third date means you’re a prude; grabbing coffee means this; having dinner means that; if they your arm but don’t invite you up, it means that they’re actually a KGB operative and need to give you the launch codes for a super secret missile...

Fuck that, we have words for a reason. Say what you mean and don’t waste my time. For that reason alone, Essi was already scoring quite well in Lambert’s books. 

He shrugged, “You somehow remembered me from the KM Christmas party almost six months ago, and still asked for my number. I figure that at least deserves a coffee and a conversation.”

Essi was bewildered, “I didn’t ask for your number, you texted me.”

Lambert shook his head, “Impossible. No offense, but I absolutely guarantee you I did not.” He produced their short text exchange and scrolled to the top of their conversation: 

Hi, is this Lambert? From the KM Christmas party? 

You might not remember me, we got talking about 

the political situation in Kashmir after about…

Too many drinks. Eeep! 

Anyway, I’d love to get a coffee sometime, if 

you’re interested. 

Sorry, this is Essi Daven. 

You called me Goldilocks at one point and 

seemed amused XD 

Hope you’re well! 

Essi snatched Lambert’s phone, shocked and slightly outraged as she reached for her own device, opening her thread with Lambert. The text at the top was not from her, but from the man across from her: 

Yeah, hi, this is 

Lambert-from-the-KM-Christmas-party. 

As it happens, I remember you and our 

conversation quite well. Not many folks 

happily get into drunken political discussions

You know what, I wouldn’t mind grabbing a 

coffee. 

Let me know if you’re free in the next couple 

weeks! 

Lambert gestured emphatically at Essi’s phone screen, “In what world is this an acceptable way to ask someone out?! I wouldn’t have said yes to that!”

“I don’t know,” Essi fired back, “It was straightforward! I found it charming, okay? Is that a crime?”

“No, but I have some serious concerns about your taste in men.”

“Like you’re in such a fine position to judge after the hollow, paltry invitation you accepted—which I absolutely did not write, by the way. I want to make that perfectly clear.”

“Alright, alright, cool your jets, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Lambert narrowed his eyes as he passed Essi’s phone back to her, “You didn't fire the first shot, so who texted me from your phone and cleared the history?”

Essi nibbled the inside of her cheek, “I can think of a few.”

“Okay, next question,” Lambert pocketed his phone, “who added you to my contacts before you texted. Because we did not exchange numbers six months ago, but your name was already there when I received it.”

Essi shrugged, “Who has access to your phone?”

“I dunno. Really just Eskel and Geralt and neither of them would—”

“Geralt.”

“Why him?”

Essi’s bright blue eyes turned steely and murderous, “Julian… They’re working together.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that Geralt the-last-thing-I-need Rivia and Julian Alfred these-aren't-my-pants Pankratz think we're so helplessly undateable that they decided to secretly set us up?” 

“Eskel doesn’t know me that well; he wouldn’t try to set you up with someone he hadn’t vetted. Who did you talk to first when you got that text from me?”

Lambert’s eyes widened, “Holy shit, they’re working together.”

Essi nodded, a flood of embarrassment warming her cheeks. “Sorry to waste your time. You’re very nice but, um, I should just…” she got up to leave.

“Wh-hey, hold up. I mean, if you wanna go, go, that's fine, but there's something you might want to know first.”

Essi tossed her yellow bangs out of her eyes, “Oh? What's that?”

“This,” Lambert produced an Amex credit card from his breast pocket, “is Geralt's.” The cheeky glint in his eyes was a very convincing argument.

“Fine then. Coffee and a conversation.” 

The coffee was hot and decent, and the conversation meandered through the usual topics of music, movies, and television, but also dipped into deeper waters as they grew more comfortable with each other’s company. Of course, it didn’t hurt that neither of them had any stakes in the outcome of this “date”. It made it easier to be frank and open, which in turn led to them quickly enjoying their time together. So much so that coffee turned into lunch, which turned into a long walk in the pleasant weather, which finally landed them outside Essi’s apartment, just around dinner time. 

“I have to say, this was actually a pleasant encounter,” she said, turning to face him with a characteristic toss of her bangs. 

“Yeah, who’d’ve thought two people forced together by meddling friends would actually find it enjoyable?” 

“In light of that,” Essi squared her shoulders and found Lambert’s hazel-brown eyes, “I think it’s fair to say I want to see you again.”

He cringed regretfully and scratched the back of his head, “Ahh, yeah, so… I don’t know if that’s really--”

“Oh, relax,” Essi smirked with a casual touch to Lambert’s forearm. “I don't mean like that. I just mean--you're interesting and fun and, well I don't have many close friends and I feel like we connected well today.”

“Well…”

“I'll make it even simpler: I absolutely, one-hundred percent, am not interested in dating you.”

“Easy there, you know I love it when people get all straightforward with me.” 

“I mean it, I just want to be friends,” she toyed back, trying her best to look sultry. It kind of worked.

Lambert bit his lower lip in mock arousal, “Mmm, oh yeah...”

She swayed her shoulders forward and back, doing her best to emulate the seductive actresses and models of the 1950s, “I want to Netflix and chill with a documentary about Soviet propaganda.”

Her last comment prompted a playfully stern look from her companion, “Careful now, you’re wading into actual turn-on territory.” 

“You're such a weirdo,” Essi chuckled, giving him an endeared shove. “Seriously, though, would you like to do this again? Friends?” 

He nodded sincerely, “Yeah, I think I'd really like that. Just one problem, though.”

“If we claim not to be interested in each other but keep hanging out we’ll never hear the end of it?” 

“Bingo.” 

Essi hummed thoughtfully and nibbled the inside of her bottom lip, “Well… we could always… pretend?” 

***

“Sounds like you two are hitting it off. I’m glad. I know Essi’s been feeling a little isolated between work and being new to the city.” Geralt closed the fridge with his foot and headed towards the sofa, popcorn in one hand, three beers in the other. “I’ll take my card back, by the way.” 

Lambert reluctantly handed the Amex back in exchange for a beer and perched on the arm of the sofa. “She’s really something. We’re, uh—yeah, hitting it off is a good word.”

And hitting it off, they were. The last ten days since their first “date” had been more enjoyable than all the dates he’d had in the last year combined. Essi was a fantastic companion: sharp, witty, kind, took no bullshit… They had done absolutely nothing but hang out, and no one had pried them for many details about the nature of their relationship. As far as their friend group was concerned, they were simply dating in the way that most adults dated. This also meant more time to themselves without unwanted interruptions (namely Julian barging in with his spare key to gossip about whatever fires were currently alight on twitter). The first night Lambert had been over, it took Julian all of five minutes to “grab something from the fridge” before parting with a knowing wink. 

To her credit and imagination, Essi had expertly fielded her cousin’s initial barrage of questions when she first announced their “involvement.” It wasn’t that she didn’t like her cousin, Essi adored Julian, but she was also the first to admit that the man had no boundaries. What he lacked in that arena, he certainly made up for with opinions, which he was always more than happy to bestow on his younger cousin—usually dating advice, almost always unsolicited. Lambert had a much easier time convincing his side that he and Essi were taking it easy to see where things went. Between Eskel being a consummate gentleman and Geralt having his own Delicate Sensibilities, neither of them had demanded any details. 

“As long as you’re both happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters,” Geralt’s partner reiterated, reaching into the bowl on Geralt’s lap. 

“Jesus, Eskel, you sound like my Nonna.”

“That's no way to talk to your father,” Geralt smirked into his hand of popcorn

“You're no better,” Lambert took a swig from his beer, lips popping as he lowered the bottle. “I swear, you've turned into a couple of mother hens since you two got together. Quit fussing and watch the game.” 

Geralt put his arm around Eskel’s shoulders, “We have gotten a little soft haven’t we?”

Eskel huffed out a laugh, “Probably. Hey, Lambert, don't fuck it up or I'll kick your ass into next week.” 

“Thank you. See? Was that so hard?” 

“Eh,” Eskel shrugged, helping himself to another handful of popcorn, “I stand by my original statement. Geralt agrees.” 

“It's true,” he said between mouthfuls. “Essi’s a good woman. Smart, talented, kind, attractive.” 

Eskel cleared his throat.

“Eskel, she is, it's just a statement of fact it doesn't mean that she doesn’t have other…”

“I know it doesn't but I still think you could bear to be a little more…”

“Funny thing,” Lambert interrupted, “I still can’t figure out how this smart, talented, kind, attractive woman’s number programmed itself into my phone. Because I may have been drunk the night we first met, but I have never in my life forgotten a successful number grab. Fess up, fellas. Who was it?”

Eskel’s eyes widened, “Geralt, you didn’t.”  

“I… may have… helped Julian gain access to Lambert’s phone.”

“Unbelievable. The betrayal,” Lambert shook his head, eyes still on the game. “If only there was some way to square things up…”

“You charged everything to my company card, didn’t you?”

“First two dates and a fresh pair of pants. Thanks, bud.” Geralt accepted a pat on the back as Eskel began gently but sternly berating him.

Lambert shook his head, smirking as he took another swig of beer, leaving the two lovebirds to bicker amongst themselves. His hip pocket buzzed and he checked his phone: Essi. 

Next Wednesday? Pizza and a movie?  Still can't believe you haven't seen  Ocean’s Eleven. 

Yeah, okay, fine. Jeez :P 7:30 my place? I'll provide beverages. 

If by ‘beverages’ you mean watery beer…

Fuck off, I'll get the good stuff. Unless  you prefer Arbor Mist or some shit. 

*gasps* I am offended! (but also it's delicious)

*sigh* do you want me to get you some?

*turtles into hoodie* ...peach or cherry pls? 

Haha okay, fine, I'll get a bottle. Can't promise  I won't judge you forever, though ;) 

It's okay, I deserve it.  g2g, see you tomorrow! xox 

***

Lambert groaned contentedly, massaging his stomach as he sprawled back on his aging brown sofa, long legs resting habitually on the coffee table. The now-empty pizza box lay abandoned on the far edge, accompanied by four empty beer bottles, and a nearly-empty, unfavourably warm Peach Arbor Mist. The toilet flushed and Essi emerged. Her dark gold hair had long ago been pulled into a messy bun, but her indigo skinny jeans had been replaced by soft-looking grey leggings. 

Lambert shook his head in amusement as she settled back next to him on the couch, "I still can't believe you brought your own lounge pants"

"That's because I'm a genius," she quipped, crossing her legs and adjusting the height of her waistband. "Besides, when else will I have the opportunity to actually be comfortable during a date?" 

"You took your bra off, too, didn't you?" Lambert asked without missing a beat, eyes never leaving the screen. 

"Yup!" Essi confirmed, her sparkling blue eyes glinting with joy as she raised her glass to her lips.

The movie continued as the new friends settled into comfortable silence, their food-drowsy, alcohol-fuzzy states lulling them into a new level of comfortability around each other. Legs fell asleep, positions were adjusted, and shoulders leaned on as the two sought maximum comfort for minimum effort. Soon, an arm was around Essi's shoulder as she settled her cheek on a comfortable spot on Lambert's chest. 

"You good?" Lambert asked, only half-irritated at her seemingly endless search for the perfect angle. 

"I'm sorry, I thought I'd found a good spot, but..." A few more adjustments of her head and Lambert couldn't take it anymore. 

"Jesus, woman, here. Get up for a sec."

Essi sat up as Lambert rearranged himself into a sort of semi-recline with one foot on the floor so his other leg could make room for the tiny pain-in-the-ass that was taking up the rest of the couch space. At his invitation, she wriggled up to the crook of his arm and quickly settled in. Lambert hadn't really thought about what they were doing. Not when Essi had harmlessly leaned against his arm; not when their weight settled into each other; not when Lambert had put his arm around her; not even as he was rearranging to get to where they were now. It had all just... happened. Now, though, with Essi lying still, Lambert felt the weight and warmth of her body shifting gently against his, and it dawned on him that this had the potential to be, well, weird.

But the strange thing was, it didn't feel weird. He'd fucking cuddled before, but there was always a sense of holding back, a tension in his body, being on the lookout for signals from the other person to move onto the Next Step. But now, he actually felt comfortable. There wasn't anything that was supposed to happen after this. Nobody was asking anything of him, no one sending signals he could pick up on but never read properly, no sinking feelings of dread as the other person moved in for a kiss that always felt too soon. Essi was just there, breathing, content. And Lambert was relaxed.

The woman half-on top of him gave a twitch as the credits started to roll, and Lambert let out a private laugh, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, show's over." 

Essi inhaled heavily through her nose and lifted herself up, "Hmmm?" 

"Movie's over." 

"Did I fall asleep? I'm sorry!" she sat and rubbed her eyes, taking a sip of water to rinse the stale taste from her mouth. 

"Eh, only a little." Lambert exited Netflix and tossed the remote back on to the table. "Thought you might wanna start heading home before it gets too late." 

Essi nodded in response as she grabbed the pizza box and brought it to the kitchen trash, leaving Lambert to bring the empties. 

"You going to finish this atrocity of a beverage?" Lambert waggled the near-empty wine bottle at Essi as he passed on his way to the sink. She merely scowled and shook her head, letting him pour it down the drain 'where it belonged anyway'.

Essi gathered her things and met Lambert by his front door, checking her pockets for her phone and keys one last time before putting her shoes on. 

"You okay to walk? Want me to come with?" 

It was only 10:30 on a weeknight, and she appreciated the gesture all the same, but it was fine to walk. "Thanks, though. And thank you for tonight. I really needed to get out of the house. I hope, um..." 

She trailed off, not sure how to ask. She didn't have the same physical boundaries that most others seemed to have. She was affectionate—often overly so, and it had led to more than a few misunderstandings in the past. She didn't want Lambert to feel as though she had ulterior motives when the simple fact of the matter was that she hadn't really been thinking. Between the instant relief of not actually being on a date and Lambert's easy manner all evening, she'd forgotten that most friendships didn’t generally involve that much physical contact. Would Lambert be confused now? Thinking they were onto something more than friendship? Had he been wanting more? Had she pushed past a point of no return and doomed their friendship?

She inhaled, "Were you comfortable tonight?" 

For a split second, Lambert flailed, wondering whether he’d made her uncomfortable. Fuck, she'd seemed comfortable, if anything it felt like he’d been following her lead but maybe...

"I—yeah. That was, I enjoyed that. Were... were you not—?" 

Essi smiled and Lambert relaxed again, "No, I was. I wanted to ask in case, that's all. Boundaries and all that. I'll text you when I'm home." 

Lambert opened the door and waved her off toward the elevator, "'Kay. 'Night!" 

The door clicked shut. 

Okay, alright. Fine. Did they cuddle? Yes. Did he enjoy it? Fuck yes. He absolutely didn’t care what anyone might think about how he chose to enjoy his time with other people. However, this didn’t stop him from acknowledging that he was in uncharted friendship territory. More than anything, he was worried about how Essi really felt. Of course, she had no reason not to be honest with him. But the last thing he wanted to do was play fast and loose with someone’s emotions, especially not a friend, and definitely not one as close as Essi. Time would tell. As Lambert’s head hit the pillow, the memory of her warmth and weight settled over him again, and he slept soundly for the first time in months.

***

“Yes Poppet, but have you slept together yet? Honestly, you’ve been dating for almost three weeks now, what could you possibly be waiting for?” 

Oh, I don’t know, hell to freeze over? You to mind your own business? Whichever comes first… 

“I mean, you clearly adore one another, I’ve never seen you happier. What’s there to lose?’”

Essi scoffed. 

Julian placed his hands on her shoulders, “I know it’s been a while for you, but I think you can afford to let yourself go a little, have some fun, hm? Besides, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if you’re sexually incompatible.”

She took a deep breath, “That’s a very good point, Julian, I’ll think about that.” The dating act was starting to wear a little thin, but it was worth not having to explain to anyone that they weren’t doing exactly what it looked like they were doing. 

Julian took time to give his cousin a scrutinizing look, “Well, by the look of things it won’t be long anyway. If you spend all of your time together as tangled up as you were the other night when I came over, it’ll happen sooner rather than later. Just trust your gut, and when in doubt, a little hint never goes awry.”

Needless to say, Essi more or less ignored her cousin’s advice.

As the weeks stretched on, it became evident that they were quickly becoming what most people would consider to be more than friends. The first time they pulled the covers back and climbed into bed, each on their half of the mattress, they were aware that yet another boundary of friendship had been pushed a little farther into the grey zone. But, they woke up the next morning feeling happy, content, and refreshed, and surely there was nothing wrong with two people sharing a comfortable bed. Essi had woken up with crust in her eyes and her nightgown bunched around her waist. Lambert had woken up with morning wood and his hair a mess. Neither of them cared. People wake up in the morning, big deal. 

Still, it didn’t stop the questioning that oscillated in the background of Lambert’s mind. Was he unknowingly leading Essi on by allowing her so much closeness without a clearly defined relationship? She’d made her own disinterest clear enough on their first “date”,  but feelings change over time. What she’d told him three weeks ago might not be true anymore… 

And then there was that soft warm tingle in the middle of his chest every time she lay her head in his lap, every time he ran his fingers through her hair. He knew he wasn't in love. Not that he was an expert, but what was all that "when you know, you know" bullshit if he couldn’t trust his own feelings? He loved her, sure, but more like a... not a sister, that would be weird. He didn't know what like. Whatever. Fuck it. Eskel had said it best three weeks ago: “As long as you're happy and everything’s healthy, that’s all that matters.” Yeah, sure. We’ll stick with that.

As far as Lambert and Essi were concerned, it was what it was, and whatever it was was working… wasn’t it?

***

"Fuckin' finally!" 

The door to Essi's apartment clicked closed as the tenant wilted against it, emitting an exhausted groan, "Two. Hours. It took me two hours to get home!" She toed off her penny loafers and abandoned her purse and jacket in a pile by the front door, ignoring the hook three inches to her left. She flopped heavily onto her living room carpet. 

"I see you found my spare key," she added, not at all surprised that Lambert had managed to let himself in. 

"Yeah, you should probably put that in a less obvious spot," he answered, crossing to the door to hang her things up. "So, I see it's a lying on the floor kind of evening. Can I interest you in a drink to start? Vodka pairs well with the general vibe of Done-With-This-Shit, or we also have tequila if you feel like shouting out the window after a couple shots. Alternatively, there's gin if you want to cry later." 

Essi smiled with her eyes closed, feeling her body slowly relaxing into the spongy throw rug underneath her, "You know me so well." 

"Vodka?" 

"Vodka. Euch, I need to vacuum!," Essi peeled herself to a seated position as clinks and clatters began in the kitchen. She hopped in the shower to rinse the day off, and after a few minutes, there was a knock on the bathroom door. 

"Yeeees?" she called, playfully. 

"Drink delivery!" Lambert hollered back, "you want this now or later?" 

"Why are you so good to me?" 

There was a draught of cool air as Lambert opened the bathroom door, "Because you only marginally annoy me. Here," he passed his hand between the shower wall and the opaque fish-scale-patterned curtain. "What's on the docket for tonight?" 

Essi groaned, "I don't know, I'm sorry. I used all my brain cells trying not to murder people on the streetcar." 

"Okay," Lambert sat on the lidded toilet, "here's the thing. I kinda maybe figured that might be the case so I kinda maybe picked up a few things to make dinner." 

A shampoo-piled head poked out from behind the curtain, "You're kidding." 

"Nuh-uh." 

"I love you." 

Lambert chuckled, "Yeah, you're alright. Come on, hurry up, this bathroom's a fuckin’ sauna, and I don’t want the croutons to get soggy." Essi burbled an answer about conditioner and almost done, and Lambert took that as his cue to leave.

Dinner was simple: pan fried Salmon with crispy skin (delicate and buttery on the inside); wax beans in butter (tender and not overcooked); grilled brussels sprouts (just beginning to brown on the edges); and a fresh caesar salad. Everything done to perfection. Full, content, and ready to take their relaxation to the next step they settled themselves on Essi’s blue-grey sectional to begin the arduous task of deciding what to watch. 

This was proving particularly difficult with the addition of Essi's caveat that whatever they chose not be "too plot-heavy" which so far had included Masterchef, an interior design show, and program about shepherding in the Orkneys. 

"Sweetheart, you gotta give me some slack here. I thought I was on track with the sheep!" 

"I know, I'm sorry!" Essi muffled into his shirt sleeve. "I do like animals..." She gasped loudly. "BLUE PLANET."

Lambert stopped the endless scrolling and pushed play as the soothing voice of David Attenborough filled the small living room.

"Hey! Why'd you pause it?" 

Lambert was standing up, "If we're going to do this, then we're doing it right. Hang on." 

Essi slumped on the sofa as the microwave kicked on. In a few minutes, there was popcorn in their laps and half a bottle of vodka on the table with an ice bucket and lemon wedges in a bowl. Lambert read off his phone screen.

"We will take a drink when: 

-David says 'Extraordinary' -David uses a clear understatement such as 'But then again, living in an active volcano is not without its risks' -An animal is being eaten -An animal is mating -There is sped up footage of a plant growing."

"Oh no," Essi lamented, chewing her popcorn ungracefully, "I'm going to get so drunk." 

"You got it, Goldilocks. Fill up."

And with that, they were off, taking it slow with their vodka twists, but nonetheless feeling the warm buzz start to tingle under their skin. The box of microwave popcorn was empty by halfway through, and the remains of Essi's exhaustion had almost dispersed entirely.

"Ooh! Understatement! Drink!!" 

By ten o’clock, pink-cheeked and feeling boisterous, they had finished with their favourite parts of Blue Planet, or at least the ones they had patience for, and had moved on to Planet Earth II.

“Holy fuck, that’s a lot of snakes—Go, you little fucker! Go!”

The drama on the screen had caused the two to separate from one another while Lambert invested himself in the success of the small lizard. Once the baby Galapagos Iguana had made it to safety, they were once again able to recline without Essi risking an elbow to the face.

She bundled against him, scooting farther between his legs where he leaned in the corner of the sectional. He gathered her hair and draped it over her left shoulder so it wouldn't get caught in his buttons—they'd learned that the hard way. It was still damp, cool to the touch, and smelled like verbena sea salt shampoo. He felt a pulse of affection ripple through him as her weight resettled. He loved that feeling. It had taken some time to get used to it. But now it was high on his list of favourite things. He was happy. And it was healthy. And that really was all that mattered. 

Right?

Eskel’s words turned themselves around again in his mind as he wrapped his arm around the front of Essi’s shoulders. He let himself indulge in the texture of her cotton knit nightshirt under his fingers. He relished in the peace of mind at being able to just be there with someone who meant something to him and made absolutely no demands. He let himself relax. 

Essi felt a kiss land on the top of her head with a playful, "Muwah!" 

She giggled quietly, "Thank you!" Then, upon further thought… Did he want to kiss her? Her mind did a double take as she tried to get on top of the ball.  

It wasn’t impossible. They were close after all, and she wasn’t opposed to the idea. She’d recently found herself in a balancing act of realizing she could, in theory, have a deeper kind of feeling for Lambert. Only if, for whatever reason, it turned out he felt the same way. These weren’t the helpless uncontrollable feelings of ride-or-die infatuation; they were malleable, translatable, general feelings of affection and fondness that belonged in any number of different relationships and dynamics. 

No sense risking it, she thought. They'd found a liminal space of comfort and safety that she'd never experienced with anyone else before, and if the options were between being a little confused and ruining everything, the choice was an easy one. Then again, if Lambert was developing feelings for her, she didn’t want to miss an opportunity. Shit. Her cheeks burned as she felt the question rise closer to her lips. 

"Lambert?" she sat up abruptly and turned to her friend who was still moulded into the corner of the couch, watching the mating rituals of exotic birds with bewildered skepticism. 

He jolted at Essi’s sudden movement, "Hello, yes." 

Her bright blue eyes were now slightly unfocused, "Do you—? Nevermind." She lay back against him, suddenly skittish..

"Mm, nah, try again," he said, sluggishly. "What’s up, buttercup?" 

She swayed a little when she sat up, "Are you happy with what we are?"

Lambert blinked, caught slightly off-guard. The question was easy enough to answer, "Yeah! I mean I don’t know what the fuck we are, but I’m feeling pretty good about it. Shit, why? Are you not? I can be less… whatever. Or… more?" It wasn’t like he was repulsed by the idea of anything else happening between them—in theory it was a possibility. In practice, however...

Essi put an emphatic hand on Lambert’s knee, her glassy eyes going wide, "Do you want more?" 

"What? No! I dunno, I—maybe. I haven’t really thought about it. I mean…” Lambert searched Essi’s face for any clue that might help him know how to proceed, “I don’t not want anything else. Fuck, I don’t know! I’m used to doing things the other way around. You know the drill: uncomfortable date, smoosh faces together, have sex, hope feelings fall out. Lather-rinse-repeat. I dunno, do we have to… But what if we try something and...? I don’t wanna lose this." 

Essi leaned in close and whispered, “I have an idea.”

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" 

"We should kiss."

Lambert nearly swallowed an ice cube, "What?!"

"Just once. Quickly. Just... in case." 

"You want me, Lambert, to kiss you, Essi Daven, on the lips."

She nodded sincerely, "For science."

There was a brief pause during which Essi felt the beginnings of panic brewing in her stomach, but by the time she'd finished grappling with potential consequences, Lambert was filling their glasses. 

"Alright. Fine. My friend wants me to kiss her for science? Fuck it. I'll drink to that." 

They downed their drinks and squared up, knee to knee on the edge of the sofa as they each prepared for their best form—or as good as they could offer given the circumstances. They counted down, 3-2-1...

The kiss was quick, over as soon as it had begun, and both friends pulled away with questioning looks. Inconclusive. They tried again for a little longer, still returning with the same quizzical expressions. They went in for a third time, committing more thoroughly, and for a brief moment it seemed they might have found the semblance of a spark. But it didn’t build. It felt… fine? But no different than if they were lying together on the sofa. It was just another thing they were doing. They each tried to find the right word for what they were feeling, but were soon distracted by the oddness of it all.   

Essi started to giggle. Less than a second later, Lambert joined her, and they both pulled away, thoroughly satisfied that their experiment had yielded a strong No on the subject of More. There was a dull thud as Essi slid from the couch and onto the floor, still holding her drink in one hand and laughing hysterically. 

Lambert sighed and shook his head, "I think it’s time we got you to bed."

Headaches and dry mouths greeted the two friends the next morning when they blinked awake. Essi’s hair was a cotton-candy mess, having still been slightly damp when Lambert put her to bed. The brunet himself didn’t look much different from his usual scruffy state as he gathered Essi up in an armful of duvet and squeezed tight.

“Gods, Lambert, I still need to breathe,” Essi chuckled, pressing her back into his chest. 

“You’ll get over it,” he teased and self-indulgently nuzzled even closer. “You feeling alright? I mean, aside from the hangover. About last night?” 

“Oh no,” Essi groaned, “I’m so sorry, Lambert. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just—you kissed my head and then that got me wondering about whether you might want something else, and then I didn’t really know what was happening and—” 

“Hey, easy on the rambling, okay, I’m running on limited brain cells, here. Look,” Lambert sat up to find those big blue eyes, now shining brightly, “I have no idea what the fuck this is that we’ve got going on, but I like it fine just the way it is.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And we can keep talking about that. Just, you know, maybe next time something’s on your mind, don’t wait ‘til we’re wasted at 2am?”

“Okay, deal. Can we go get bacon now?”

Lambert chuckled, “Yeah, alright, fine. Make me put pants on, I see how it is.”

Their conversation continued over strong coffee and eggs benedicts. Between their check-in that morning and everything that had happened the previous night, it was well-established that they were perfectly happy where they were. Rather, the main topic of conversation was their growing desire to level with their friends about the nature of their relationship. Eskel and Geralt, they both agreed, would be the easiest—Lambert could tell them that evening. Julian and Essi’s friends on the other hand would be a little more difficult. 

Telling Julian together would be best, Essi thought. He was bound to have questions, and if both she and Lambert were there to answer them definitively and explain that no, they didn’t have secret feelings for one another; and yes, they really were just friends and not at all interested in exploring the relationship further thank you very much. Exactly when this discussion with Julian would occur still wasn’t clear. Realistically, they could pick any time, but they decided to wait until Lambert could tell the Old Men. At least then they were assured some less invasive support. 

Their reaction was easy enough to predict: Eskel reassuringly repeated his standby “As long as you’re both happy with things…” and twirled a forkful of pasta; Geralt tilted his head thoughtfully and said, “That sounds very nice. I’m happy for you.” Lambert had expected mild disapproval, concern that they were deviating too far from the norm and into a complex dynamic that would be too messy to manage. Instead, Geralt simply said it ‘sounded very nice.’ Lambert smiled into the open refrigerator on his way to get a beer. 

The following weekend was Julian’s birthday, and, as per their annual tradition, the group all gathered on Friday evening at the birthday boy’s favourite restaurant—Vegelbud’s. The two decided to tell him the week after his birthday so as not to detract from his Big 3-0. Just one more week, and it would all be in the open. Easy breasy.

The afternoon of the dinner, Eskel and Geralt received a group text: Haven’t told Julian the details yet. Keep the beans to yourselves please (I’m looking at you, @Eskel). 

“Why me?” Eskel turned to Geralt over his paperwork, looking a little hurt. 

Geralt chuckled, “You have a slight tendency to overshare when you want to be supportive.”

“I do?” He turned on the bar stool to follow his partner on the way upstairs.

“It’s not a bad thing, but…” Geralt sighed, “Lambert has always needed to feel in control of situations like this. He doesn’t want one of us bringing this up before he’s ready to talk about it, especially in a public place, you know how he gets when he feels cornered. And Julian is Essi’s cousin…”

Eskel raised a hand, “You’re right, you’re right. All points taken. Are you showering?”

Geralt smirked as he headed for the stairs, “Come on then.” 

Four hours later and halfway through dinner, everything had gone swimmingly. The food had been expectedly delicious, the company and conversation excellent, and so far no one had felt the need to bring up Essi and Lambert’s relationship on any level. That is until Julian got a few drinks under his belt, and decided it was time to document the occasion. Geralt and Eskel were the first victims. 

“Aww just look at you two! So in love, so vivacious and full of adoration,” Julian held up his phone as Geralt touched the side of his head to Eskel’s. Beep-Chk! A perfect image of a happy couple was captured and posted to Instagram (#julianturns30 #dinneratvagelbuds #dinnerout #cutiesofinstagram #favoriteotp #gaycouplesofinstagram #livelaughlove…). There were a few more photos of the three of them together, the white chocolate raspberry cheesecake with the candle in it, a group shot taken by the waiter. It was all so close to being over, Essi could practically taste the refuge of the streetcar. 

"Come on, lovebirds, show us a smooch!" Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Essi’s stomach lurched and she felt her cheeks start to warm. Lambert’s hand landed gently on her knee under the table, his fingers pressing firmly into her leg as she desperately tried to think of something to say. 

"Oh, um..." 

Across the table, Geralt and Eskel shared a wordless communication: de-escalate, distract, redirect.

“You’ll want to eat that cheesecake before it gets warm” Geralt offered. “I hear it’s so light it’ll disintegrate in a heartbeat.” Eskel nodded in encouragement, taking a bite of his own. 

“I know, I know,” Julian shrugged, “Just a quick one. Say Cheese!”

"Not right now, Julian," Essi tilted her head, her eyes flashing a little. 

"Oh come on, Poppet! I know you don't like PDA, it's just one little picture--"

“Don’t call me Poppet.”

Eskel cleared his throat loudly, "Doesn't seem they're that keen on it. Maybe let's try for one another time." 

"It's past your one-month-a-versary, let everyone see how in love you are." 

"Julian," Geralt growled, "leave it." 

Julian covered his mouth in alarm, "I’m so sorry, have you not used that word yet? I didn’t mean anything by it, I just want the world to see how happy my beautiful cousin is!" 

“Really Julian, it’s not necessary we—” Essi’s fingernails were starting to dig into Lambert’s palm from the sheer effort of maintaining composure. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to cry or disappear, and with neither of those being an option, it seemed the only possible escape was for them to kiss. They’d done it before. No big deal. It would feel off, but they’d just go back to her place and drink about it after. 

“Essi, what’s the matter with you, it’s just one little picture, and we all know you’re not camera-shy. On three, ready? One, two…”

"For fuck's sake we're not dating!" 

The table all silently turned their attention to Essi whose cheeks had been turning progressively redder. 

“What?” Her cousin laughed incredulously. 

“We’re not a couple, Julian. We’re friends. We have been from the beginning, but we didn’t want to tell you because we knew you wouldn’t fucking leave us alone until you could boast about having set us up.”

Lambert shared a brief look with Eskel before lowering his eyes to the tablecloth, his hand still firmly clutched in Essi’s. 

Julian gaped, “So, it was all… the cuddling, the laughing, that time I came over and you were asleep on the couch, that was all… a ruse?” 

“No, Julian, that was real. I told you, we’re friends.”

“That’s not friends! Since when have friends watched a movie half-on-top of each other?” 

“Two people can enjoy each other's company lying flat, Julian,” Eskel’s rich voice interjected across the table and the discussion ground to a halt. 

Geralt shrugged with his tea at his lips, “It is the twenty-first century after all.”

Julian’s cornflower blue eyes flitted back and forth between the two friends, utterly bewildered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well what with your complete and utter invasion of privacy for the sake of hooking us up, we didn’t necessarily trust you to believe us,” Essi answered curtly, her hand shaking slightly. 

“Poppet, you could have just told me—”

“Stop. Calling me that. And I did tell you, Julian!” she exploded. “I told you the first day I moved here. The first. Day. I said, ‘Julian, I think I want to take a break from dating until I’ve been settled for a year.’ And what did you do? Conspired with my well-meaning former mentor to hook me up with someone I had one good conversation with at a Christmas party. And do you know what? We are happy. But we’re happy in our own way. And maybe our boundaries with each other seem a little strange to you, but we’re not fooling ourselves. We don’t want to kiss each other, we don’t want to have sex, and we don’t want a relationship. And even though it’s absolutely none of your damn business, I’ll tell you anyway: we’ve talked about it. All of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I don’t think I want to be here anymore.” 

The chair legs scraped against the floor of the restaurant as Essi stood to leave, throwing her purse over her shoulder as she went. Lambert looked hesitantly around the table, “I should probably, you know…” He gestured after Essi with his thumb. Eskel gave Lambert the go ahead and he quickly stood to follow his friend out of the restaurant, leaving a very stunned Julian with the other two. He found her perched on the parking barrier in the small lot to the left of the front doors. He called to her and she looked up. Eyes shining, mascara running... 

“Ah shit, you know I’m no good with this kind of thing.” 

“I’m sorry, Lambert, I just—” she blew her nose, “—he just wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do or say, and it all just came pouring out. I didn’t want it to. The whole time I was begging myself to stop, but I just couldn’t, it’s been bottled up for so long and-and—but it’s his birthday, and—oh, he must feel so awful! I didn’t want to make him feel bad, but—and with Eskel and Geralt there too! They must think I’m horrible! I’m so sorry, Lambert, I didn’t want it to be like this, I wanted to have him over and sit him down and be patient, and instead I’ve just made a complete mess of things. And on his birthday! It’s his birthday, oh God, this is the worst thing I could have done.” Essi choked back bitter tears as she tried desperately to stem the flow with her soggy tissue, “Are you upset with me, Lambert? If you are, I understand. Maybe we should take a break of some kind, you know. Not see each other for a while and—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there. Look, I’m probably not going to say any of the right stuff here, but I am absolutely not upset with you. You got that? And for what it’s worth, I don’t think us taking a break from spending time together is going to do anything. Unless you’re looking to punish yourself by taking away a nice thing which, okay. But the fact that you’re willing to ditch me instead of Arbor Mist says something about our friendship I’m not too pleased with.” 

Essi turned her wide, pleading, bloodshot eyes to Lambert who cracked a smile, “Jesus, I’m kidding! You adorable fucking mess, c’mere.” He pulled his petite friend into a hug and rested his chin on the top of her head until she quieted down. Neither of them was quite sure how much time had gone by, but Essi found herself wishing it had been long enough for everyone to have gone home so she didn’t have to face whatever aftermath she’d left behind. 

Meanwhile, Eskel and Geralt had settled the bill and offered to give Julian a lift back to their place for a night cap, not wanting to leave the evening on such an unsettled note. Essi needed space, and whatever company she needed, Lambert was clearly capable of providing. It was for the best, they suggested, and dissuaded Julian from trying to call her. 

“Best to sleep on things,” Geralt said, tucking his card back into his wallet and giving the waiter a nod in gratitude. “We can meet for coffee this weekend and sort this out. For now, just let her cool down.” 

Eskel clapped Julian encouragingly on the shoulder as they made their way into the damp summer night air. As they turned into the parking lot, they came face-to-face with Essi and Lambert who had clearly just turned to come back inside. Both cousins looked like they had seen better days: Essi’s eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks blotchy and streaked with inky makeup stains; Julian was perhaps less dishevelled, but the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced, his boyish features now dejectedly weighted down with remorse and hurt. 

“Juian, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—” 

Essi’s cousin raised his hand, “Don’t. Please don’t. Essi, I am so, so sorry. I never meant to push you like that, I didn't realize... you both have been so happy this last month and—"

"It's okay, really, we can talk about this all another time. I'm just so sorry I ruined your birthday. We wanted to sit down with you and talk properly but..." Essi's tears welled up again, and Julian smiled weakly. 

"But we both did what we always do?"

She sniffed, nodding emphatically with a tearful, "Yeah.” Julian pulled his cousin into a fond embrace while the other three clumped together to watch the reconciliation. 

“Oh! Here,” Essi reached into her purse and pulled out a small, neatly-wrapped box. “Happy birthday!” 

Julian opened his gift without a second thought, his face brightening instantly. The box contained a set of premium ultra-light guitar strings and a pair of concert tickets. The perfect gift. Overwhelmed with gratitude, and the atmosphere having been recovered, Julian suggested they all attend brunch together that Sunday morning, his treat by way of apology. Geralt offered to split the bill as a peace offering for his part in the initial setup, and the five made a date. 

A fresh start, a promise of spending time together with fewer secrets and, Julian conceded, a few more boundaries. 

#witcher rarepair summer bingo #wrsb #Platonic #queerplatonic #no romo #Geralt/Eskel #Essbert #Gereskel #Jaskier #Julian Alfred Pankratz #alcohol #drunkenness #Essi & Lambert #Essi Daven #Lambert

[penrose-quinn]

[AO3] MUGEN CHRONICLES | Muzan Kibutsuji/F!Demon!Reader

❁ Saltation

E. historical period piece au. nsfw. four-part series. smut. dark fic. dub-con. horror. canon compliant. tragedy.

tw: blood & gore. possessive behavior. violence. manipulation. suicidal thoughts. suicide attempt. mutilation. cannibalism. blood drinking. emotional/psychological abuse. mental anguish. sexual violence. forced pregnancy. disassociation. abusive relationship. forced relationship. 

summary: they rise and fall like the midnight sun.

❁ Devotion

M. companion piece to saltation. nsfw. masturbation. mirrors.

tw: possessive behavior.

summary: you are perfection and he deserves no less.

❁ Exaltation

Douma/Reader | Kokushibou/Reader | Daki/Reader

E. companion piece to saltation. nsfw. three-part series. sexual content. dark fic. pre-canon. orgy. cults. cunnilingus. infatuation. ambiguous relationships.

tw: blood & gore. violence. mutilation. sexual violence. cannibalism. manipulation. body horror. implied/referenced underage prostitution. implied/referenced abuse. emotional/psychological abuse. obsessive behavior. implied/reference sexual violence. period-typical sexism. misogynistic behavior.

summary: they gaze upon the woman with a thousand faces and find themselves burnt by each one.

❁ Absolution

M. epilogue au to saltation. set in the 1950s/post-WWII. two-part series. reincarnation. terminal illnesses. angst. melancholy.

tw: implied/referenced abuse. trauma. 

summary: this is the last twist of the knife.

❁ Malediction

M. alternate ending to saltation. pre-adaptation. runaway au. nsfw. set during the occupation era. murder. murder couple.

tw: possessive behavior. blood. blood drinking. emotional manipulation. abusive relationship.

summary:  they are stuck in the crossroads.

❁ Adaptation

E. alternate ending to saltation. domestic au. nsfw. set in the 1980s. dub-con. rope bondage. smut. dark fic. murder couple. melancholy.

tw: blood & gore. possessive behavior. manipulation. cannibalism. blood drinking. emotional/psychological abuse. abusive relationship. rough sex. 

summary: you are never truly free when your soul is still bound to your murderer.

❁ Recession

E. sequel to adaptation. domestic au. nsfw. set in the 1990s. dub-con. smut. dark fic. murder couple.  

tw: blood & gore. pseudo-necrophilia. possessive behavior. manipulation. cannibalism. blood drinking. sadism. emotional/psychological abuse. rough sex. abusive relationship. pining.

summary: he'll make it work.

❁ Perdition

M. epilogue au to adaptation and recession. domestic au. nsfw. set in the 1990s. implied sexual content. dark fic. murder couple. isolation.  

tw: possessive behavior. manipulation. emotional/psychological abuse. blood drinking. abusive relationship. 

summary: their tenderness is one that festers.

••• ⫸ Excerpts & Aesthetics

#mugen chronicles #masterlist #kny #muzan x reader #muzan kibutsuji #pen writes #updated