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#2016 perpetually feels like 2 years ago
autistic-fuckwad · 9 months
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Hey friendo,
I used to be an asshole too. I got sucked all the way through the alt-right pipeline back in 2016 and I was a real shithead to a lot of people. Sometimes it keeps me awake at night when I remember who I used to be and the people I called my friends at the time, I still feel guilt over a lot of it too.
What helped was reaching out where I could to people I had hurt and apologising to them. I also owned up to who I was and what I said and over time my actions have shown that I'm definitely not that person anymore.
I don’t know you personally but the fact that you're aware enough to feel guilt over who you were is evidence to me that you're actually a good person and I'm positive that a good amount of people won't abandon you.
No human is born perfect, we all struggle and make mistakes on our way to self-discovery, sometimes we even take out our growing pains on other people.
"The fact that you cringe at your past self is undeniable proof that you have grown based"
Thank you for sending this in, I had written up an entire response but tumblr's mobile app crashed and didn't say a word. Back when I was a young teenager (13) I was stuck with a group of extremely toxic people ( part of the off-branding community, who got off to making people upset ), and even after I escaped I still fell back into the toxic mindset that twitter perpetuated in general. I said and did a lot of stupid shit, and I hit my peak once I, like kids do, was found out for lying about my age when I was around 16. I was groomed into believing it was okay by a group of adults, and I'm still working to unpack a lot of my mindset from then. It's been 2 years since then and I've outright stayed away from adult spaces, even now that I'm 18, due to the anxiety they bring me. I used to be a horrible, shit person, even months ago but I've been trying my hardest to change, day by day. People who dislike me refuse to let go of that fact and keep trying to pin me down as an outright bigot when I've never been anything of the sort. Have I said shit that I didn't know could be insensitive? Absolutely, and I cringe every single time I see that tweet screenshot. I wish I could apologize to the people I wronged, but they trigger me so much anymore that I would rather let them hate me and leave me alone than to ever want to face them again, but it eats me up at night worrying that one day, one piece of information will slip and everyone will think I'm a disgusting, racist asshole who tells people to kill themselves because I said a stupid tweet about how I couldn't oppress another white person on the basis of being white, or because I said I want to set scalpers on fire. I have never, EVER been a person to genuinely tell someone to kill themselves, and I've went out of my way to apologize to those that got told it on my behalf. It disgusts me to my core to know some people are so.. okay with saying that to others. Call me a hypocrite but it can rot someone to their core. I may have been a shit person but I've never fell that low. I'm so sorry for the long rant, my emotions on this are still extremely tense. Thank you so much for reaching out, and I'm so proud of you. Genuinely. Let's hope we keep getting better as people, together. I hope I get to see you around more often.
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snorlaxatives · 3 years
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the fact that 2016 was 5 years ago and 2022 is just 4 months away is making my eye twitch.... need a support group for people who can’t process the linear progression of time
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2021 ✨ chay’s writing year in review
well! 2021 certainly has been one of the years i’ve experienced. but besides *gestures vaguely* everything, 2021 unexpectedly turned out to be a breakthrough year for me in writing.
☆ STATISTICS.
total words written: 168 623
monthly word average: 14 052
projects worked on: the Andromeda trilogy, some other side stuff i didn’t get too invested in, and, uh, yeah it’s pretty much been AR brainrot all year
☆ HIGHLIGHTS.
finishing 2 drafts
writing like 20 fluffy, purely self-indulgent drabbles for like a month
(this one is my favourite)
i wrote a space shanty back in april??? ngl i almost forgot about that. it feels like ages ago
☆ A FEW COMMENTS.
after a drought of about 5 years where i was in perpetual unfinished project hell, the fact that i finished something is still so wild to me, let alone TWO somethings. and to think what it took for me to unblock was throwing my characters into space and being as self-indulgent about it as possible.
i’ve also finally accepted that i am truly a plantser at heart. i USED to be a plantser back before reading writing advice posts and getting caught up in trying to be a planner and worrying about every little detail of the story that by the time i was actually writing i just wasn’t having fun discovering my story. and as my characters often surprise me as i’m writing and sabotage my outline (not naming names, AZAMI BLACK-MIZUHARA), having no rigid outline for them to sabotage in the first place gave me at least an illusion of control over them.
actually, THE thing that i would consider the secret to my success this year is to allow myself to NOT write. especially with a relatively new job to stress me out, i couldn’t afford to burn myself out by forcing myself to write every day. maybe 2016!Chay could pound out a 40K novella in a month but 2021!Chay needed new ways to work.
i compiled some little spreadsheets and graphs to track my writing process. my daily average for AR1 was 453 words and 420 words (nice) for AR2, spread over about 5 and a half months for each draft. i very rarely wrote more than 1000 words in one day, and there were MANY days where i would just not write at all. sometimes i wouldn’t write for days on end, and it was hard, feeling like i HAD to be writing, being scared maybe this was it and i wouldn’t be able to write ever again, but knowing i needed to be resting. those rough patches always ended eventually and my writing was better off for it.
what i’m trying to say is, once i figured out what worked for ME, my writing flourished.
☆ 2022 GOALS.
i am SO tempted to be like “to finish AR3′s first draft” but i’m not gonna put that kind of pressure on myself.
my goal for the next year is just to continue working at my own pace and being patient with myself. if it takes ten years to finish AR3, so be it. it’ll be better than if i crash and burn trying to finish it all at once.
that being said i’m gonna start writing AR3 tomorrow because new year new draft and i have nearly nothing planned for it so far besides self-indulgence so wish me luck!!!!!
☆ IN CONCLUSION.
i want to thank everyone who’s been following my writing journey this year, who has read and reblogged my stuff and left nice comments, who has helped me untangle the knots in my plot or witnessed my many crises and breakdowns on discord and encouraged me through it all. not to be a cliche but i seriously wouldn’t have been able to do it all without you. i wish you all the very best in this upcoming year 💕
below, have those sexy graphs i was talking about, because i’m a slut for graphs and i couldn’t resist showing them off.
AR1:
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notice the dip in activity in february when i was working on FinnPetra Fluff February. and also that one tall bar on very last day when i went absolutely ham LMAO
AR2:
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i feel like for this one i was wildly swinging between “writing a shitton in one day” and “haven’t written in a week”. consistency? never heard of her.
☆ GENERAL TAGLIST. ask to be +/-.
@metanoiamorii​ @unleashing-screamingtemporaldoom @radiomacbeth​ @tragedieds​ @stardustspiral​ @summere21​ @dutifullyloudmilkshake​ @spencers-tomes @avi-why​ @pulitzers-world @jadeywrites​ @hopeeternia​ @stormharbors​ @dgwriteblr​ @extra-magichours​ @cilly-the-writer​ @yuekki​ @catgirlnya​ @the-orangeauthor​ @cecilsstorycorner​ @savonigo @little-boats-on-a-lake​ @athensthebandit​ @quilloftheclouds​ @alicewestwater​ @chaotic-queer-disaster​
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girlcaligula · 3 years
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I was tagged by @rododaktvlos, thank you gio!!! <3 <3
1. Why did you choose your url?
As a firm defender of villains' narrative rights, I believe my internet duty is to spread their word to assure them better conditions within fictional stories. Perpetually working on the villains' equivalent of the Italian workers statute, which will probably never see the light of day
2. Any side blogs?
I have two of them, both pretty inactive rn! The first one is @niccolomachiavellisuggestions [created years ago when that sort of thing was trending] and the second one is @julius-scaeva, my Nevernight side-blog which is basically just me complaining about the wasted potential of that series [and thirsting over the main villain, as one does]
3. How long have you been on tumblr?
I created this blog on February 2016 but really started interacting with people and having mutuals at the end of 2018. Before that it was a pretty sad place, ngl
4. Do you have a queue tag?
Nope, too chaotic and not enough consistent for anything like that
5. Why did you start this blog in the first place?
I kept seeing screenshots of posts from other sites and i grew curious. At first I wasn't that active because I needed to understand how it all worked lmao
6. Why did you choose your icon?
It's a painting I really really love and I feel it kinda represents me, or better how i seem myself from time to time. Overall, it's just a pretty picture
7. Why did you choose your header?
I don't believe in god or in anything like that, but I'm pretty sure that if they existed my main goal would be to make them regret having ever created me, even if indirectly.
8. How many mutuals do you have?
Ohhh god question honestly i have NO idea. I have 20ish I interact pretty regularly with [both within the italian hivemind and polycule and outside] but there's probably WAY more I have never interacted with
9. How many followers do you have?
Rn it's 1362 but an year ago the blog was barely over 400 so it's growing quickly, which... ngl scares me a bit.
10. How many do you follow?
310 I think, every once in a while i go through my following list and unfollow people i have no interest in anymore OR that are inactive, only sparing old mutuals
11. Have you ever made a shitpost?
I... i mean... my blog is basically only that
12. How often do you use tumblr a day?
PFFFFFF I'm not even answering this I'm terminally online
13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
YEP, more than once! I try to keep on my lane because I really have no time for that shit but if someone adds a stupid comment on MY post then it's on them [got blocked and blocked myself a lot of people]
14. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?
I avoid them like the plague. if a post says 'reblog>like' i like the post and then go on with my life. i'm not gonna be guilt-tripped by a tumblr icon
15. Do you like tag games?
I love them!! Even if I almost never end up doing them because I forget :/, but I love being tagged in them
16. Do you like ask games?
YESS! Here too, sometimes I don't answer the asks but that's just because i forget and then it would see far too weird
17. Which mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?
I have a bunch👀👀! And honestly idk why the follow me asdhjasdhasdasd
18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
NOT answering this question your honor :)
Tagging @ailichi @lvcilla @solraneth @curiousserpent @curly-eyebrows and any of my mutuals who wants to do this (i'm TERRIBLE at remembering who actually wants to be tagged in these things and who doesn't sorry)
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sports-balling-blog · 3 years
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NFL hot(ish) takes for 2020 (AFC edition)
FOOTBALL IS BACK…if you ignore high school football and college football and soccer football but we��re ignoring that! So here we go my 2020 power rankings
AFC West
4. Las Vegas Raiders- lead by everyone’s 17th favorite starting quarterback and the rest of the silver and black are in for a long year stuck in the AFC West and not making moves themselves. Just add this season to the broken dreams that pave the strip…at least y’all have hockey?
3. Denver Broncos- John Elway must have really been hoping he could make lightning strike twice and bring Aaron Rodgers to the mile high city only to be stuck with a combination of Drew Lock and Teddy Bridgewater to see through the season instead of you know drafting a quarterback. There is too much talent *cough cough Von Miller cough cough* for the Broncos to be a complete disaster but you guys are dangerously close to Kyle Orton/Tim Tebow territory.
2. The S̶a̶n̶ ̶D̶i̶e̶g̶o̶ Los Angeles Charges- much like everyone else I’m pretty high on the Los Angeles Chargers (of Anaheim) after seeing the team’s second half of 2020 and Justin Herbert. It’s finally looking like the rebuild will yield results but we have one last question for the team will they have more wins than fans in So-Fi this year?
1. Kansas City Chiefs- shock of all shocks the back to back AFC Champions with an MVP QB and hall of fame coach will repeat as division champions. While it should be a cake walk to their seventh straight playoff appearance (and sixth straight division title) it’ll be interesting to see if they did enough to keep pace with the other top teams in the AFC.
AFC South
4. Houston Texans- HAHAHAHAH do I really need to talk more. Everything this last off season seems to have been the incorrect move more Huston especially the whole deshaun Watson situation. At least on the bright side at least no one can claim you’re tanking.
3. Jacksonville Jaguars- the Trevor Lawrence era has officially began. Too bad it’s going to start like the Minshew/Nick Foles era ended, with lots of losses. That much is clear when they chose to pander to Florida Gators fans by hiring Urban Mayer signing Tim Tebow instead of actually improving. To the three Jags fans out there be glad the Texans are in your division.
2. Indianapolis Colts- ahhh the Colts and injuries quarterbacks can you name a better tradition? The Carson Wentz era In Indy will have to wait a good chunk of the season to get started in Ernest given the newly acquired QB will miss up to 12 weeks. There’s certainly enough talent there for the Colts to stay in wild card contention and not fall in with the other two teams listed above.
1. Tennessee Titans- I don’t think there’s anyone quite as happy to be in Nashville as Julio Jones is. After years of trying to get out of Atlanta this falcon is free and here to help a titans squad looking to capitalize on the teams back to back playoff appearances.
AFC North
4. Cincinnati Bengals- congrats bengals you’ve found your franchise savior! Now you just need to scrap him off the turf every other play. And to add insult to (hopefully not another) injury AJ Green left to the Arizona desert after a decade. There’s still a long rebuild ahead bengals.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers- WHAT? How can the team that went 11-0 to start rank third? The Steelers are a long way from being one of the NFL’s top teams and the end of last season especially the game against Buffalo showed it. This year there’s no easy schedule for the black and gold to pray on. While everyone else in their division got better at least to a small extent Pittsburgh just got older and slower.
2. Baltimore Ravens- It will be an interesting season for Lamar and the Ravens and we’ll get a good taste almost immediately as they take on Kansas City in week two. The defense is there for sure a deep playoff run the only question is can the receivers include new addition Sammy Watkins can stay healthy and productive enough for the offense to match that pace.
1. Cleveland Browns- hard to believe the browns went 1-31 not very long ago. Cleveland looks like a completely different team these days boasting what looks to be one of if not the best defenses in the league especially after adding Clowney. Making the playoffs will be the least of the browns problems the only question is how far will they go. The way this team is built I’m guessing far.
AFC East
4. New York Jets- Zach Wilson is here after some rather uneventful years with Sam Darnold at the helm, but more importantly Adam Gase is gone! You’re Free! While the Jets won’t have much to show for it this year I think mean green’s perpetual rebuild sneakily took a turn for the better. We might have to stop calling them the butt fumble in a few years.
3. New England Patriots-yeah I know it feels weird for me to put them here too, but let’s face facts the Patriots are no longer a Super Bowl caliber team. The 7-9 record last season speaks for that. Its rather unlikely that lightning will strike twice in the form of Mac Jones right away. Give it a year or two and we’ll see where you are.
2. Miami Dolphins- another AFC East team looking at a bright future without Adam Gase! Brian Flores has done a great job righting the ship of state and now the dolphins look primed to build on last season and make a playoff appearance! Unfortunately the AFC is too too heavy for you to really do much there but good job none the less!
1. Buffalo Bills- another long suffering team now enjoying great success this time with Josh Allen. The Wyoming Alum looks to lead what will be one of the NFL’s best offenses past the AFC title game and into a Super Bowl this time. Their first since 1993
Playoff time!
1. Kansas City Chiefs- I don’t think they’re leagues better than the other playoff teams but when you’re looking for your fourth straight AFC Title game appearance I’ll give you a bit of a pass.
2. Buffalo Bills- not much to say here the Bills are a talented squad who are going to be successful.
3. Tennessee Titans- the regular season may be kind of a mixed bag for the Titans when it comes to record (obviously not too bad) but I think the playoffs is where this team will come to shine.
4. Cleveland browns- four feels too low for this team but when you look at who’s above them it’s kinda hard to disagree with it.
5. San Angels Chargers- look at you Chargers fan! You’re in the playoffs maybe you can make some magic happen.
6. Miami Dolphins- after coming so close last year you can loose in the first round just like in 2016.
7. Indianapolis Colts- just like last year you get to play Buffalo first and just like last year you won’t get a second game.
All in all the AFC is really a three team race. While I think I best team in general is the Chiefs I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Tennessee represents the AFC.
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dispatched-a · 3 years
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———  BASICS! ♡
(PEN)NAME! ♡     lou
PRONOUNS! ♡     he / they
ZODIAC SIGN! ♡     virgo moon, taurus moon, leo rising.
TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡     single 😼
———  THREE  FACTS! ♡
1! ♡    i am SUPER into making lists. i don’t know if it’s because i’m autistic, have ADHD, or because i’m a virgo – probably all three? – but i literally love making lists and spreadsheets. i also love organizing and sorting stuff. i will find a reason to make a list for literally just about anything. right now, i’m working on tackling this list of the shows i want to watch.
2! ♡     i can make my tongue form into a clover (three-sided) which is probably gross and i won’t embed a picture here, but showing it off has gotten me past at least 2 different forms of hazing so i feel like it’s worth mentioning at the very least.
3! ♡    most of you likely know that one of my special interests is history, specifically working class interpretations/tellings of history. i’m always looking to learn and educate myself more, but i can spew off a bunch of obscure facts about most points of american history which is... a lot. i spent 3 years in uni for history and almost got my certificate in queer studies before i dropped out and i might change my course of study now that i’m back in uni, but i now consequently own an obscene amount of books on imperial america. i may not shut up if asked about post/911 history or anything having to do with the bush presidency, or the war in vietnam/cambodia/laos. i’m sorry to anyone whose dm’s ive unleashed in before, lmfao. because of all of this, i feel like i enjoy writing essays and am better at academic writing than prose, which gives me a complex about my prose being too dry and not poetic enough so, fun times.
———  EXPERIENCE! ♡
PLATFORMS USED! ♡   at the moment, i use tumblr and discord, and i sparsely use dreamwidth. before, i’ve used facebook and livejournal, and occasionally youtube, which is how i got into roleplay about 10 years ago.
———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡
GENDER! ♡  i’ve always gravitated toward writing men and i was not self-aware enough to know my discomfort in writing women has always had to do with projecting my personal Butch Gender Envy and my own discomfort with societal notions of womanhood – however, now i can write any gender. at this point, i tend to be drawn toward nb/trans muses. 
LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡    i don’t HATE any faces i guess, but i dislike fc’s that are super popular or obviously the very problematic ones. the rpc tends to cycle through a favorite face 1-2 times a year. like semi-related, i guess, but: never forget the 2016-2017 e/iza g/onzales fixation, and the amber heard fixation that i feel like only recently ended but began circa 2012. and yes, ive been on this website for WAY too long.
MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡    i’m fine with interacting with either! for myself, i have frank and a multi-muse, which is how i tend to operate. i cannot operate more than 1-2 blogs at once, especially single muse blogs.
———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    
FLUFF:    i love fluff! but it’s not all i enjoy. a big issue i’ve had is constantly perpetuating slice-of-life content with little plot. i love slice-of-life and fluff a whole lot but i need plot and dynamic building to back it up (more so dynamics, as i care more about character relationships than plot, usually, but point stil applies). i feel like a lot of people misconceive frank to be an overly soft, fluffy person – which frank definitely can be, but i’m kind of uncomfortable with the way he’s constantly written in fanfic to be a mindlessly loyal himbo (namely to karen bc k.astle fans are Like That) and the way his old-fashioned (and subsequently hypermasculine and condescending lmfao) nature is constantly lauded instead of questioned. he's not a great person lmao. also, i feel like this plays into people writing and portraying frank as straight in so much of the fic i read, which i dislike. 
ANGST:    i LOVE angst, but i don’t like trauma/torture porn. i like angst when it also props up plot and dynamics, but trauma porn? hate it. i feel like an issue that i have with angsty plots is that it tends to occasionally turn into a dynamic revolving my muse taking care of another person’s, or vice-versa (which ive ... tried to work, but still, i can be guilty of it!). i also specifically fucking hate (usually very graphic) immediate post-sexual assault/rape plots that have no basis in canon, which is such a specific thing to rip on but i’ve seen it more than once lmao and it makes me so uncomfortable. please stop torturing your muses for no reason. i feel like i’ve worked on doing that myself, and yes i am aware that the punisher is the hugest example of an edgelord, but uh.... please, i’m begging. 
SMUT:    ii feel like i enjoy writing smut but not just for smut’s sake. not too into pwp, but sometimes i can be. like what i’ve said about fluff and angst, it just depends! 
PLOT / MEMES! ♡    i LOVE both. i feel like memes at this point work better than starters for me. i also enjoy plotting a lot, which for me includes going back and forth about our muses, sending quotes/pictures/etc as inspo, etc. i enjoy that a lot about writing and it’s a huge reason why i love roleplaying - i just love collaborative storytelling. i have a very bad habit of dropping dm’s because my executive dysfunction is Bad and also i can get easily overwhelmed if too many people talk to me but just know i love both.
tagged by :  @vylingas thank you ♡ tagging :  @transforms, @bulletballet, @hammurabicomplex, @streetknown, @errorware, anyone who wants to do it!
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radicalcommonsense · 3 years
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The American Dream-For Dummies, pt.2
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Media bias in the United States occurs when media outlets perpetuate a particular narrative that often highlights the agenda of their favored political party. Media bias presents skewed information and threatens the standards of professional journalism. Many suggest that both liberal bias and conservative bias occurs within various outlets. These accusations seem to increase as the two-party-system becomes more polarized. There is also bias in reporting from an angle that favors the corporate owners of various media sources, and mainstream bias. Bias occurs when media outlets choose to focus on perpetuating a specific narrative by focusing on “hot” stories, rather than reporting news of more substance.  
       In May 2020 President Donald Trump tweeted, “Republicans feel that Social Media Platforms totally silence conservatives voices. We will strongly regulate, or close them down, before we can ever allow this to happen. We saw what they attempted to do, and failed, in 2016. We can’t let a more sophisticated version of that happen again.” Sophisticated certainly being the right word here. Major media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram have the technology and recourses to selectively decide upon which information will reach the American people and which will not. When media chooses to supress the ideas of those who oppose their chosen narrative, they silence American voices and take a major hand in moulding the cultural norm and the narrative that will be most likely adopted.          Media is the most powerful tool human beings have to spread ideas. Looking at how Thomas Paine’s Common-Sense publications were able to inspire the revolt against Great Britain, resulting in the American Revolution, one could not reasonably argue against the fact that media is the unchallenged leading source for inspiring action. Those who control the media, control what is believed by the majority to be true and therefore inspire action based upon those beliefs. So, when the media tells us that our country is inherently racists, that it is and has always been led by white supremacists, and that these faults are so deeply engrained in our very existence, then our only option to correct these wrongs must be done by “dismantling” the entire United States  “economic and political system.”, as suggested by Ilhan Omar, U.S. Representative for Minnesota's 5th congressional district.
       According to CNN, GOP lawmakers reported that China has given money to hundreds of U.S. Universities and the officials are concerned that Beijing may use its donations as leverage to influence academic research in the U.S. The Washington Examiner tells us that the ranking members of seven House committees co-signed a letter to Education Secretary Betsy DeVos asking for information on the department’s effort to tighten transparency rules for universities receiving foreign funding. The letter states, “For some time, we have been concerned about the potential for Chinese government to use its strategic investments to turn American college campuses into indoctrination platforms for American students”. Time will tell of course whether or not there is validity in these concerns, but the "Annual Report on U.S. Attitudes Toward Socialism,” shows that 58 percent of the up-and-coming generation opted for one of the three systems, compared to 42 percent who said they were in favour of capitalism. The most popular socioeconomic order was socialism, with 44 percent support. Communism and fascism received 7 percent support each (Richardson, The Washington Times).
.        Marion Smith, executive director of the Victims of Communism Memorial Foundation stated, “This troubling turn highlights widespread historical illiteracy in American society regarding socialism and the systemic failure of our education system to teach students about the genocide, destruction, and misery caused by communism since the Bolshevik Revolution one hundred years ago”. Again, we see an agenda being pursued that would profit from the general consensus being that our Founding Fathers should be condemned and for their history to be altogether forgotten (hence, the removal of their statues and monuments). In succeeding in this we must turn away the American ideals set in place by these men, which most certainly includes our founding documents, the U.S. Constitution, The Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.          Most Americans fail to recognize that without our Founding Fathers there would be no United States of America. These brave men led the revolution against King George III and detailed their grievances in the Declaration of Independence. “The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.” The document goes on to describe the ways in which we would no longer suffer under a tyrannical government. This document was the first motion set in place in which would publicly reject the unjust powers of monarchy as a means by which the colonies would be governed. It took more than bravery to be so bold as to rebel in plain sight, in a formal document against the absolute strongest force our World had ever known and only these men can be credited with that bravery.
        It was the first official document which stated, “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights”. It is true that these statements were not applied to “all” for many years to come, but the fact remains that without this bold idea that suggests all human beings are of value in the eyes of their Creator and therefore deserving of rights which allow us to peruse Life, Liberty and Happiness then we would not be where we are today. This notion that identified The People as individuals who were worthy of goodness, simply because they were born has inspired action since 1776 to untangle the corrupt moral structures by which had previously been recognized as the social norm. Who today can say with full certainty that they would have had the gull to declare so boldly that despite the fact that tyranny and suffering under its absolute power was all we had ever known, that they would have had the courage to not only declare independence, but to declare that each individual created by God had the right to do so?
       This set in motion a fight for American independence and freedom which would last nearly eight years, killing over 200,000 men who died for the very freedoms so many today take for granted. Again, let us recognize the courage it took for these every day, hardworking men who knew next to nothing about fighting in a full on war to grab their guns, leave the comfort of their homes and families and to stand face to face with experienced soldiers sent by a very pompous king who wanted nothing more than end their lives. Winning the Revolutionary War was an absolute miracle. In no way were we prepared to go up against the World’s strongest army of that time. Absolutely every odd was stacked against us, but because these brave men were fighting for something that they believed to be true with every ounce of their being; because they were fighting for Liberty, not just for themselves but for those to come they did the unimaginable and we should regularly look around ourselves at all the luxuries we have today and give thanks to them.           
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dynamic-duo-deposit · 4 years
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On the subject of The Caped Crusade, it’s probably worth sharing this article by Glen Weldon (The author of that book, and a gay man himself) on the subject of Batman/Robin subtext.
To be clear-- Glen Weldon is not arguing that Batman and Robin are gay or should be a couple. In fact, there’s an earlier section of the book which I have already posted, about the importance of Bruce as a father figure.
But while the article is fairly light and tongue-in-cheek, the book delves into the subject a little bit more deeply and I wanted to add a few passages from the book as supplementary material.   
The first excerpt I wanted to share is about Seduction of the Innocent by Fredric Wertham, the book that helped inspire the Comics Code Authority.
“In Seduction of the Innocent, Wertham tells of one “young homosexual” who showed him a copy of Detective Comics that featured ‘“a picture of ‘The Home of Bruce and Dick,’ a house so beautifully landscaped, warmly lighted and showing the devoted pair side by side, looking out of a picture window…. ‘At the age of ten or eleven,’ [the boy said,] ‘I found my liking, my sexual desires, in comic books.  I think I put myself in the position of Robin.  I did want to have relations with Batman…’ ’’
It’s safe to say that in this, he was an outlier.  It is only the rarest of precociously self-actualized gay kid who ever gets as far as imagining himself getting his freaky pubescent relations on with the Caped Crusader.  He may admire Batman’s arms, and his medicine-ball deltoids, the wide V of his torso, and the perfect quadrants of his abdominal muscles, drawn so square and even they look like the window on a Chiclets box.  But for most gay kids, especially in this era of American history, any confusing attraction they may have felt toward Batman stayed exactly that-- an interest that seemed to well up from some deep place below the stomach, a blunt, preverbal ache.
[...] There’s just one problem, and it’s a damning one: as Carol Tilley points out, that young man didn’t exist.  Wertham combined the case studies of two young men-- who, it turns out, were engaged in a relationship with one another.  He also deleted the boys’ statements that they were far more strongly aroused by Tarzan and the Sub-Mariner than they were by the Dynamic Duo as that notion didn’t fit his thesis.”
Here’s a bit about the tonal difference in camp,  RE: the Schumacher films vs 60’s Batman-
“Just as William Dozier ensured that the sixties television show addressed itself to both kids who lapped up the derring-do and adults who keyed into the humor, Batman forever also enjoyed a bifurcated appeal.  Schumacher’s two audiences, however, were split not by age but sensibility: 1) gay men and 2) everyone else.
In the years since the sixties television show had gone off the air, camp had come out of the closet.  It called itself irony now; the era of elaborately coded messages, shibboleths, and innuendo, of embracing the tawdry and tasteless with a fervid flamboyance, of relegating one-self to the role of grotesque, sexless clown, was over.  The Stonewall riots and the AIDS crisis had abraded those filigree edges away, leaving something harder, angrier, and more unambiguously and unapologetically sexual.
Thus the much-discussed “campiness” of Batman Forever feels fundamentally different than that of the old television show-- less quant and more defiant.  Queerer.”
On the history of gay men being drawn to Batman-
“Morrison understands the same essential truth that Wertham did-- the one that every ten-year-old gay kid worriedly understands as he gazes at a panel of Batman placing a friendly hand on Robin’s shoulder:  Intention doesn’t matter.  Imagery does.
Heterosexuals see themselves reflected in media so consistently and thoroughly that such representations cease to consciously register in their mind as representations.  To them, movies are just movies, comics just comics.  That’s because their innermost selves exist in a state of perpetual autonomic agreement with the outer world as it’s commonly depicted.  This cognitive equilibrium produces a closed, continuous circuit of reassurance, harmony, a sense of belonging.
But to gay readers, those same representations matter-of-factly assert a vision of the world not only in which they do not belong, but in which they do not exist.  Gays have always looked for their reflections in media, seeking the same sense of affinity and belonging, but until very recently, they’ve failed to see them: the circuit of reassurance is broken.  So they patch it in with whatever they can find, by looking more deeply.  Every exchange, every glance, every touch, is hungrily parsed for something they recognize, for fleeting glimpses of themselves, their desires, and the world they know.
This is an oblique, allusive process; it’s not like Batman comics are deliberately encrypted by their makers with coy messages-- ideas in which gay men historically find affinities: the constant threat of a secret self’s exposure, the cloak of night, a muscular physicality, a homosocial friendship-- and, yes, okay, fine, a flair for interior design that includes some pretty rocking velvet drapes that are actually, now that we’re looking at them under better light, not dusky emerald but more of a forest green.
Batman is an inkblot; we see in him what we want to-- even if we aren’t ready to admit it to ourselves.”
As a bonus, I would add this article by Andrew Wheeler, another gay Batman writer, who Glen Weldon actually quotes in the book-
THE GAYNESS OF BATMAN: A BRIEF HISTORY 
“The concept of Batman may be open to endless reinvention, but any effort to make him less gay only adds layers upon layers to his gayness. Make him light and you emphasize his campness; make him dark and you emphasize his repression; give him a girlfriend or a female sidekick and you reaffirm his bachelorhood. He is both camp and butch; repressed and sexualized; erotically fetishistic and homoerotically anti-feminine.
Batman is not gay. The writers will line up to tell you that. But when there were no explicitly gay characters to identify with 70 years ago, the bachelor hero with the boy sidekick stepped in to the vacuum, and gay readers were not the only ones who saw it, and now his gayness is indelible.
More than 70 years after his debut, Batman has emerged as the best known patient of Dr. Wertham's New York clinic for sexually maladjusted individuals, and also its most successful failure. Batman will always have his gayness, however straight they write him.”
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Life Update
A collection of random things
We’re officially moved in and settled down (kinda) in Berkeley! Things are still kinda hectic with finding a job and studying and establishing a new routine but it feels nice to finally not be living out of a suitcase and to have a place to call home
I really like it here so far, but I also feel like this is one of those places I wouldn’t want to live permanently...we will see how I feel in a few months
On the running front! I’m trying this new thing this fall called Not Getting Injured. This summer I finally had some sense knocked into me and realized I was just doing....way too fucking much when it comes to exercise and I never bothered to actually think WHY am I doing all of this. Running is good (okay actually running is the one thing that I think was actually in check), and so is strength training and stuff but the amount of strength training I was doing 1. made no sense and 2. was unnecessary. I was spending waaaay too much time in the gym and this summer only exacerbated that because I had waaaay too much free time so now I’m trying to actually train smart and take care of myself smh
on that note! Jared and I got a membership yesterday to a climbing gym in our area and I’m really excited to add that to our weeks. I think climbing is so cool and I’m looking forward to a new and exciting way to challenge myself and train my body in ways that running doesn’t (also seeing all of @runningfurtherfaster ‘s climbing posts has me hyped)
also also also I think I want to sign up for a fall half in the area in november-ish probably. I have not legitimately raced a half marathon since like 2016 when I ran my first 2 and my PR. Every other one I’ve run I’ve been nursing some weird pain or sick or something and just ran it to finish so assuming I can not hurt myself Imma sign up for one probably
Also like 1 million years ago I entered the lottery for the London Marathon which I find out about next month but if that doesn’t work out and, again, I stay healthy I really want to run a marathon this spring. I’ll be done applying to school and should have the time to really work for it which would be nice. Also even though I feel like I’ve run more I’ve really only run one marathon (but have registered for more and had to defer due to injury/trained for a 50k but got hurt 2 weeks out) and I want to do another!!!!!
I’m taking the LSAT in 3 (!) weeks!!!! that’s so freaking soon. I’m not as nervous about it as maybe I should be??? idk. I’m a very good test taker and the LSAT works in the same way my brain likes to think, but now I feel like I’m gonna curse myself so ! wish me luck. I honestly just can’t wait until I can take worrying about it off my perpetual to-do list. Also it’s absurd how much where you go to school depends on that score AND how much you make coming out of law school depends on the school you went to. ANYWAY, more law school thoughts to come in the next few months
I got a job! Today I go in for training and it’s at this gelato shop which I applied to just cause it’s a job and seemed chill but yesterday when I met with the owner I was actually so impressed. The owners are from italy and they make all of the stuff with carefully thought out ingredients and get as much fruit as they can from the farmer’s market and half the flavors and cones are vegan which I just think is super cool
Okay this is long so that’s all for now thx 4 reading happy thursday 
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movimblog · 4 years
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(preview only*)
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The audience for artists' moving image practices has grown extensively in recent years. Of course, the Internet has played a huge role in this. An ever-growing part of this audience is using the video-sharing platform Vimeo. This website was founded in 2004, just a year before YouTube, and since the beginning its peculiarity has been the support of high-definition videos. Compared to the Google-owned colossus, Vimeo represents a smaller presence on the Internet, the Alexa rank being 2 for YouTube and 131 for Vimeo.
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For a lot of reasons which I won't discuss here, Vimeo is mostly used by professionals such as filmmakers, animators, motion graphic designers, but also by private companies and institutions, most notably the White House under the Obama administration. Artists working with moving image use Vimeo's services to upload their work, password-protect it and share it with festival programmers, curators and other professionals. They also publish teasers, trailers and excerpts of their works.
I can't tell you when (I wish I could), but out of this standard practice another quickly came: a lot of these artists started taking the password-protection off their works. By doing this, of course, the artists aim to reach a larger number of potential viewers. But this practice is linked to two common (and closely-related) film festival policies: in order to be considered for selection, the work submitted needs to be recent (with the limit usually being set as two years since its completion) and not publicly available online (that is, password-protected). For this reason, after their two-year festival tour, a lot of experimental films and videos were being set free from their passwords and released into the wild.
In this framework, one should also mention other interesting practices: when artists don't care about festivals and make their new works accessible to everyone, or when they finally publish their older works (sometimes remastered, sometimes never before released). There are also artists who come from the contemporary art world, whose works are represented and sold by galleries and shown in contexts other than those of film festivals. They too, for one reason or the other, are now playing the game of free online availability.
With an increasing number of interesting works made officially and freely available, a niche audience was born. One that is potentially growing—because the general interest in artists' moving image is visibly growing, but also because, within the demographics of artists' moving image fans, not everybody can easily attend festivals and visit galleries. Some live far from big cities, some can't move, some can't travel, some are still too young to travel. Not everyone has access to closed, selective online communities such as Karagarga. And I could go on with these examples for a while.
I recognise myself as part of that audience. As a fan, it's been a fascinating experience since I started paying attention to what was being made available online by the artists I liked. Between 2013 and 2014, I  happily enjoyed the works of Portuguese artists João Maria Gusmão + Pedro Paiva both in physical exhibitions (at the Venice Biennale and at the IAC in Villeurbanne) and online through their Vimeo account, where one can watch a selection of digitised versions of their already iconic slow motion 16mm films.
In the winter of 2016, I was discovering the contemporary North-American scene. Through blogs, newsletters and social media, names like Robert Todd, Margaret Rorison, Stephen Broomer, Dan Browne and Mary Helena Clark were popping up and there they were with their accounts full of previous works available to watch. I remember sitting at my desk, watching Mary Helena Clark's astonishing Palms (which, at the time, was the most recent work she had made available in its entirety) and feeling lucky to get to see such revealing work. It felt like a gift.
Whether it be purely strategical or emotional, releasing a piece of work online can be the easiest or the toughest decision to make for an artist. It can be the result of (quite a few) compromises: selecting only a few pieces to release, making them available for a limited time only, going back to password-protection because of the renewed interest of festivals in a certain piece. For a distributed or gallery-represented artist, the choice can be quite difficult. After all, we have to consider that nineteen years of Web 2.0 have taught us to use and share online contents in ways that can clearly clash with the traditional sense of authorship. In the case of this niche, it has become common practice to hold public screenings of pieces found on video-sharing platforms without asking for permission from the author. Surprisingly, this happens in contexts where a wide range of authorship regulations should normally be acknowledged, including film studies classes and exhibitions (See the Abounaddara / Triennale di Milano case).
In the winter of 2016, I was thus looking for a way to give something in exchange, to contribute to such a thriving exhibition of works. My contribution ended up being the online project The Moving Image Catalog. At first I only created a Facebook page where I posted links to videos. It gradually became a curated selection of works that attempts to link artists, practices and themes, in the form of a website, with a sort of index that was going to be a perpetual work-in-progress, and various social media pages. That was my small contribution—that, and the daily romantic act of (always) barely scratching the surface of this huge collection of works.
Growing up in a small town in northern Italy in the early 2000s, with almost no galleries and only three cinemas that showed only dubbed films (one of them was torn down to build an expensive clothes shop), being interested in moving images meant having to rent DVDs and watch TV, notably the RAITRE channel. RAITRE had and still has an all-nighter film programme called FUORI ORARIO, where one can catch the latest Lav Diaz, or a De Oliveira film, or a segment from an amazing and mesmerizing film whose author you'll never know (because the programmers like the idea of not presenting the segments). As FUORI ORARIO shaped generations of film lovers, my emotional attachment to moving images was also shaped by these nightly encounters in front of a small screen and not in a traditional screening room. Today, while I do prefer galleries and screening rooms to TV and computer screens, I consider the act of watching moving image works on Vimeo to be a highly aesthetic and emotional experience.
About a year ago, I was checking the Vimeo account of an artist whose work I love and who is very popular today. Going to festivals and screenings, one gets to watch the films made by this artist. I was browsing this particular Vimeo account because the said artist's work was being gradually made available for free watching. Due to the prolific nature of this artist, I often visit this account. So, I was browsing, and I noticed a change. Placed between parentheses, a brief expression is now added at the end of each title:
(preview only*)
The asterisk directs the viewer to a disclaimer message which appears in the info section below the player.  This disclaimer is addressed to professionals who intend to screen the films in public events (festivals, lectures, classes etc.). The artist asks them to contact the distributor. By doing so, the artist warns us that the Vimeo link should not be used as such for a screening. Again, the addition of the said disclaimer speaks volumes about the decisions involved for an artist when it comes to showing work online.
But let's adopt the perspective of a viewer, and not the practical purposes of the artist. Even if one understands that the disclaimer is intended for a specific category of viewers - those who use Vimeo to select works to be shown in public events - one's experience can be thoroughly modified by this indication. I consider that the sentimental experience I normally have when I watch artists' moving image works on Vimeo is not one that can be described as the “preview only” of another, possibly better, experience, such as the public projection.
Which brings me to a few questions I've been asking myself, and which I now would like to ask you:
Is there an emotional hierarchy in the aesthetic experience of watching moving images? Is this hierarchy genre-related? Should public screenings still be considered the only true experience?
Are we, as artists, paving the way towards acknowledging online audiences as audiences in their own right, and as important as the audience at public events? Or are we just riding the online wave in the sole hope of reaching more physical screening possibilities?
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mavrustheunskooled · 5 years
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Why is Bare: A Pop Opera not as super popular as Dear Evan Hansen or Be More Chill? The fandom loves LGBT rep (which Bare has) and the songs are amazing and I think B:APO is actually superior to both of those. Thoughts? I mean the musical fandom tends to try to find LGBT characters even when they aren't stated, so why do you think Bare is not as popular?
this is a very interesting question and I am hopefully going to do it justice by analyzing Fandom, Musical Writing, and Many Other Things I’m Super Passionate About
the short: many factors and a lot of luck
the unnecessarily long: 
(opening disclaimer: I love dear evan hansen and be more chill, and I’m not upset that they’re popular musicals because I feel that they’re popular for a reason. anything that sounds like an insult in the following response isn’t such because I truly enjoy both of those musicals a lot) 
(another disclaimer: spoilers for bare, DEH, and BMC, also mentions of homophobia) 
on paper, bare seems like the exact sort of musical that would be popular. bare the musical (cursed as it is) has a cast of super popular actors like Barrett Wilbert Weed, Gerard Canonico, Taylor Trensch, Alice Lee, Alex Wyse, a high quality bootleg exists of the 2013 LA cast, it’s got LGBT+ rep, complex women characters… and yet it’s got a tiny fan base. Why? 
first let’s look at why dear evan hansen and be more chill are popular. I’m more well versed in bmc, so let’s look at its history (disclaimer: I’m estimating dates but this is roughly the timeline) 
the original bmc run was in 2015 I believe. they recorded a soundtrack, everything was fine, and they closed. in 2017, people began discovering the soundtrack in hoards. specifically, they were discovering one song: Michael in the bathroom. that’s even how I learned about the show- I heard that song and had to look up the rest of the soundtrack. and in February of 2019, they’ll start previews on broadway because the fandom was revived 
why this song? I think a ton of fame comes from talent, yes, but also from luck. I think bmc was lucky that Michael in the bathroom, a great song, was discovered as the great song that it is. I also think the fame came because that song is super relatable. as someone with pretty bad anxiety, that song really touched me because I’ve definitely spent parties hiding in the bathroom and avoiding everyone and wishing I was dead because I’m so overwhelmed with anxiety. it’s relatable, so people flocked to it. 
this made me pause to think “what is bare’s hook song” my first thought was a quiet night at home if we want a song in the same vein as MITB, but that song isn’t as hype as MITB (and fandoms don’t care about fem characters as much as it cares about masc characters). my next thought was are you there because I think it’s a bop and a relatable “pls someone help” kind of song, but I don’t know which song everyone could relate to as much as everyone could relate to MITB 
and speaking of relatable content- that’s where the DEH connection comes in. dear evan hansen is similarly relatable, although it takes that to an extreme given what Evan does as a result of his anxiety. Michael and Evan are relatable characters, even if you don’t condone everything they do (and if you condone everything Evan does, we have much to talk about)
but doesn’t bare have relatable characters?? absolutely !! there’s Peter, a closeted gay kid who wants to come out, and Jason, someone who acts tough but is secretly very insecure, and Nadia, with her body image issues, and Ivy, who people won’t take seriously because they’ve decided they already know her, and so many other complex characters. so why are they left behind? 
let’s look at bare’s history: 
bare was originally written in the 90s (I want to say 1999, but I could be wrong) the performance most people consider the quintessential bare performance was in 2004 with Michael Arden, John Hill, Jenna Leigh Green, etc. 
if you compare this to DEH and BMC, the first issue is clear. DEH was hugely popular around 2016. BMC began to grow in popularity in 2017. these are very, very new shows. 20 years doesn’t sound like a lot, but in our current age where time seems to pass so quickly which each new fad, bare seems like an older musical, and a lot of people aren’t the biggest fan of older musicals. and they don’t have to be !! but it’s a personal preference of some people that could affect how they view bare as a potential musical to be a fan of 
in terms of the music of bare, it’s definitely catchy, but it’s not like a pop song. (again, no shade at DEH and BMC because those aren’t jukebox musicals or anything). bare is simply not as easy to listen to as DEH and BMC are in my opinion (and it’s not the most complicated thing ever either, but holy cow its lyrics are smart and I have to throw that in here) 
now let’s look at reasons why people may not want to watch bare. while it is great that it has canon gay characters, compelling women characters, and is very cleverly written it also has issues that can be turn-offs to people. this includes: 
-bury your gays
-gay-guy-cheats-on-boyfriend-with-girl trope 
-gay-guy-gets-outed trope 
-and potentially other homophobic tropes
I’m not shaming bare for perpetuating these tropes because it was written 20 years ago, and lgbt+ people are allowed to enjoy media in spite of its perpetuation of negative tropes, but for some people these things are enough to turn them away. and I don’t blame them! I watched bare the musical before I watched bare a pop opera, and when Jason I died I closed out of YouTube without finishing the show because I was so Sick of bury your gays. 
I am aware that there are reasons Jason died at the end of bare (they’re making a statement about how homophobia kills, particularly how homophobic religious people can have an awful affect on young religious gay people), but there comes a time when “reasons for a gay character to die” is just too much. sometimes, you just want the gay character to live, and I completely respect that notion because I felt the exact same way when I watched bare the musical. I remember when I first watched bare the musical I wrote a thread about how as a Romeo and Juliet adaptation, bare follows some things closely (like death at the end) while avoiding other extremes (Romeo running off to another country) and I thus felt the death was unnecessary. if someone else feels similarly about being sick of gay characters dying, they have every right to not want to watch bare 
that’s enough on why someone might not want to watch bare. let’s get back to bare vs DEH and BMC 
I also think a big aspect of fandoms is shipping. the fetishization of MLM (and consequently ignoring fem characters completely, along with focusing solely on white men for their shipping and ignoring men of color) is a huge problem in fandoms that I could talk about forever, but for the sake of this response, I’ll keep it a bit shorter 
DEH and BMC profit heavily off of shipping in terms of gaining popularity. people love Evan x Connor (and other ships but that’s the main one I see), and people love Jeremy x Michael (and others). so why then do people not care about bare, a show with a canon relationship between 2 basic white men, which is their ultimate goal? 
I think people like the idea of these mlm ships more than canon content. if there’s canon, it’s harder for them to make a variety of ships because it feels like everything else has to rotate around the canon without touching it (which is where the bare fandom gets Matt x Lucas because they’re the closest they have to 2 basic men- I can write my criticism of them another time though) 
I’ve also seen posts saying that things with canon lgbt+ characters sometimes have smaller fandoms because there is no need for lgbt+ theorizing- it’s right there, and if you want lgbt+ content, watch the thing. I don’t necessarily agree with this for myself (I’ll reblog every pilgrim’s hands gifset I see) but I can definitely see how other people might think this way 
failing to hype up stuff with lgbt+ characters can have a negative impact. BMC is the prime example of how a show can be revived by its passionate fan base. if people aren’t talking about bare, it’s not going to spread like other shows do 
this is kind of all over the place but anyway- I want to talk about characters more. one thing DEH and BMC have are great, complex characters that are very easy to boil down to a fandom’s favorite stereotypes. I am absolutely not saying DEH and BMC have simple characters because I think all of them have layers; however, fandoms do love to go “this is precious cinnamon roll who can do no wrong and this is evil awful terrible irredeemable person” and it’s a bit difficult to do that with bare. 
you can say Peter is your perfect son, but he does try to force Jason out before he’s ready. you can say Ivy is the evil seductress trying to tear apart your gay babies, but I will physically fight you. there aren’t any black-and-white good or bad bare characters (except Father Flynn- hate him), which doesn’t fit in line with the way fandoms function. sweeping generalizations about the current state of society based on the internet are exhausting and bad, but we do live in an age where everything must either be perfect or evil, and you can’t do that with bare. no one “did nothing wrong uwu” and that’s what fandoms Want 
(note: they will excuse wrong actions, such as everything wrong Connor Murphy has ever done, if the character is played by a mildly attractive guy they want to ship with another mildly attractive guy) 
another point that I don’t have fully fleshed out thoughts on enough to devote too much time to is the integration of parents into the shows. in both DEH and BMC, the parents get redemption arcs. in bare, Claire does say she love Peter at the end, but she’s much less of a sympathetic character than Mr. Heere or Heidi (that’s her name right- Evan’s mom) or the Murphys. when I was younger, I wasn’t allowed to watch anything that painted parents, or adults in general, in a negative light, but maybe that’s not a universal experience 
this is getting way too long and it probably has more thought put into it than what was necessary, so I’ll try to close this quickly 
I think, first off, that DEH and BMC completely deserve the hype that they have received. they’ve got compelling stories, interesting characters, and fantastic soundtracks. I also think that luck factors heavily into them getting what they deserve. there are plenty of great shows, like bare and the boy who danced on air and spies are forever and probably more that I’m not thinking of, that have great music and characters and story that, out of sheer chance, don’t get the chance they should have been given. there is no bulleted list someone can follow and at the end they’ll be on broadway with an armful of tonys; is the luck of the draw, and bare has not been afforded that chance 
I’ll end with some reasons why anyone who happened to read this but might not be a bare fan should listen to or watch bare: 
- it is an amazingly clever show; every time I watch it or listen to it, I realize another moment of foreshadowing or a line I originally brushed off was actually very significant or there’s another recurring motif/theme in the music 
- it’s full of bops (go listen to you and I or are you there or portrait of a girl) 
- canon gay characters in a canon gay relationship 
- 3 dimensional fem characters that actively criticize stereotypes 
- it’s about a religious gay boy who grapples with his religion and his sexuality and how those two things can coexist 
- it is Very Very Good
in conclusion: bare is very good and deserves attention xx
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you ever feel like a big fish in a small pond because you’re not taking the maximum amount of suffering you can handle and still maintain this level of productivity? it’s... weird. i’m doing so much better than i was 2 years ago that i keep thinking i should add more thing-doing to my life, but i don’t know if i actually want that because it sounds like it would mean returning to 2016-17’s Pit of Perpetual Suffering. like?? sure, i’m mentally stagnating, and it is boring, but? is agreeing to feel worse physically my only ticket out of that?
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csnews · 5 years
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What Would It Take to Save Southern Resident Killer Whales From Extinction?
Howard Garret - October 10, 2018
As I write this on October 3, I’m listening to members of J pod of Southern Resident killer whales calling to one another off the west side of San Juan Island. The calls, heard over the Lime Kiln hydrophones, are clear and crisp and so familiar. They’re the signature J pod S-1 calls, including a variety of chirps, honks and sounds like squeaky doors. The thumping rumble of a freighter overwhelms the calls for a few minutes, but eventually sweet orca voices once again pierce the static. All too soon the whales move out of range.
They came in from the Pacific overnight, appearing in Haro Strait along San Juan Island. We fervently hope they’re finding the food they need and can eat — mainly Chinook salmon — but we know not many salmon are in the Salish Sea this year.
Over the past dozen or so years the three pods of these genetically and geographically isolated whales have gotten thinner and thinner. Some have weakened and died when the fish aren’t there in sufficient numbers. And we know that due to starvation and high levels of toxic chemicals like PCBs, 70 to 80 percent of their pregnancies in recent years have ended in miscarriages and early neonate mortality.
Now at only 74 family members, with no surviving offspring since 2015, the Southern Residents are on a precipice, tipping precariously into reproductive extinction. Some may survive for a few more decades, but viable new births will not match deaths, and soon all the survivors will be post-reproductive.
These orcas have been in the public eye more than ever lately. In early August a whale we call J35 or Tahlequah carried her deceased baby for 17 days in a tour of grief that was broadcast worldwide for weeks. This was followed immediately by the visible demise of J50/Scarlet, not yet four years old, once an acrobatic youngster who wasted into skin and bones before expiring and drifting to the bottom.
Although new to many people, the problems for these whales began many years ago. The warnings have been flashing red since the late 1990s, when 20 percent of this cohesive orca community died in just five years, at a rate tightly correlated with an extreme El Niño over the North Pacific that decimated already scarce Chinook populations. The sudden mortalities triggered the orcas’ “endangered” listing by federal and state agencies a few years later. This helped to fund field studies and confirm that Southern Residents depend on viable Chinook runs. Not much was ever actually done at state or federal levels to restore salmon runs, although local and regional habitat restoration projects have continued to repair countless rivers, shorelines and estuaries to help salmon survive.
One of the most anticipated measures came in March of this year, when Washington state Gov. Jay Inslee declared an executive order to marshal Washington’s resolve to help the orcas. The order created the Orca Recovery Task Force to focus on how to recover this dwindling orca clan. About four dozen people joined the task force, representing a range of diverse interests — commercial, governmental, tribal, scientific and environmental.
Many expected that task force to take an immediate role. As J35 grieved and J50 weakened and died before a world audience, Gov. Inslee was deluged with calls and letters about the urgent need and easy feasibility of breaching the four lower Snake River dams, which I and many other experts feel is the best and quickest way to provide the most Chinook for Southern Residents. In late August the governor sent a note asking his task force to consider dam removal, although only one member had ever mentioned dam breaching prior to that.
Public pressure continued to mount to breach the dams, and it was finally mentioned at a task force meeting on August 28.
But at the same time a complex web of pro-dam public-relations messaging arose to counter the public sentiment. The messages say there are plenty of salmon; that dam removal is unnecessary and uneconomical; and that it’s impossible any time soon anyway, as dam removal is blocked by unbending bureaucratic hurdles.
This wasn’t a new tactic. Even before this, Washington Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers had taken this pro-dam messaging to the legislature. This past April she sponsored House Bill 3144, which would forbid even studying the four dams’ removal. The bill, dubbed by critics the “salmon extinction act,” is currently stalled in the Senate, but the message was reinforced when another representative held a hearing in Pasco, Wash., on September 8 that was dominated by testimony claiming economic benefits provided by the dams. Similar messages appeared in blogs and articles authored by the pro-dam lobby.
All this obfuscation, and luckily also some facts, came out most recently in a 2-hour webinar held by the task force on September 27 to address potentially undamming the lower Snake River. On the panel were representatives from a long list of government, environmental and energy organizations and agencies.
For the most part, the participants shared reasons not to remove the dams, often using scientifically questionable information. Among the highlights:
The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and Fish Passage Center all referred to a chart of 15 rivers important to Southern Resident killer whales, and claimed no single river is more important than any other.
NOAA raised concerns that salmon hatcheries might cease to operate if the dams were breached, which its representative said could affect Chinook recovery.
NOAA also claimed the survival rate of salmon that pass through the dams is high, although it acknowledged that the rate of juvenile salmon that are weakened by the experience and die soon after entering saltwater can’t be measured.
Northwest River Partners (a pro-dam PR firm) said hatcheries would certainly disappear if the dams were breached and that the benefits of the Columbia hydro system are awesome, although the webinar was only about four Snake River dams.
The Army Corps of Engineers emphatically stated that breaching or removal of the dams “will require Congressional authorization,” without mentioning that decommissioning a project does not require authorization.
There were also some, although fewer, comments in support of breaching the dams:
Save Our Wild Salmon confirmed that five federal court decisions have ruled that the previously chosen options to help the salmon have failed, that their survival is not improving, and that we could save salmon and the orcas if Gov. Inslee would come forward and urge the Army Corps to breach the dams. The group also argued that the rise in renewable energy makes the dams redundant, that irrigation could be easily retrofitted with more pumps, and that breaching would result in hundreds of millions of dollars in benefits for the region.
The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife explained that the Snake River watershed has the most remaining natural habitat anywhere, and that the dams are less valuable and their benefits are more replaceable than the Columbia River dams.
The Fish Passage Center confirmed that adult salmon would increase substantially in orca habitat in the second year after breaching.
DamSense said it’s impossible for the Army Corps to require authorization to decommission projects, as shown by a 2016 letter stating it has the authority to breach. They added that the Bonneville Power Authority’s $16 billion debt and responsibility for 92 percent of maintenance expenses require it to breach the dams to save money and that total expenses to breach and mitigate any issues would come in at about $400 million and could be done with two bulldozers.
What comes next? The Orca Task Force is drafting its recommendations to Gov. Inslee, but the options to date seem to perpetuate some of the misleading points heard in the webinar, such as creating a stakeholders’ forum to discuss removal of the dams; asking the Army Corp to stop operating the dams and seek authority they don’t actually need to breach the dams; developing mitigations for stakeholders; and funding hatcheries. Another suggestion is for Gov. Inslee to issue an executive order in favor of Lower Snake River dam removal and replacement with carbon-free alternatives (a trend that’s already happening).
Regardless of how those draft recommendations shake out, the governor’s job now is to sort out the static by federal agencies and lobbyists to see the reliable information from mostly regional organizations, and choose the best path toward orca recovery and sustainability. The governor may find it awkward to act against the wishes and words of the Army Corps, BPA, NOAA and the formidable commercial and political lobbies to breach those dams, but all evidence continues to show that it must be done — and soon.
J, K and L pod orcas will likely flicker into the night if he doesn’t.
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introvert-celeste · 5 years
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Hey, I am the anon that has been having a hard time. I'd message you privately but I think I want to talk this way so others can see if they are having a similar problem? I'll sign them like this🐘 I am a senior in high school and I have lost all motivation to do anything. I don't do my homework until the very last second, I don't study, I just sit on my bed and do nothing. And it's so much more than Senioritis, I know it is. Fuck there is a lot more going on than I can fit in an ask -🐘
I’’m even taking the SAT in like 2 days and I have studied maybe a total of an hour, and I’m not going to get the score I want, which means I will have to take it again, waste more money (and who knows if I’ll even study for that one, with the way things are going). I haven’t written college essays or started apps and I don’t seem to be in a hurry to do so. Everything that I say I’m going to do, I put off. I have yet to do a lot of the things I said I would do days, weeks, months ago -🐘
I am exhausted perpetually because I stay up late to do the work that I put off, which prompts me to get up late a lot. And my self-image issues prevent me from skipping my makeup routine in the morning, so I don’t have a lot of time in the morning to make/eat breakfast or make a good lunch, which has led to shitty eating habits. I don’t even like the way my makeup looks most of the time, but I’d die if I was caught without any on. -🐘
I haven’t told anyone any of this. I don’t talk to my friends about it because they have so much of their own stuff going on and I feel like I’d be burdening them more if I let all this out. My parents are another issue that’d take 20 of these to explain but briefly, I can’t talk to them about anything. I have thought about making an appointment to see my school counselor but that’s just another thing I’ve been putting off. She’s really busy with college stuff and I don’t want to bother her -🐘
I don’t feel prepared at all for college or anything after high school. I can’t cook, I can’t drive, I don’t have a job I don’t know anything about anything outside of my bubble and I am mortified. And it’s not like I put off learning any of that🙄My life has been a series of easy decisions and I’m not ready for the hard ones. I am so afraid of making a bad decision that I usually end up doing nothing but I am also afraid of missing an amazing opportunity so everything becomes more stressful.-🐘
Overall I feel like my life is very mediocre. There is nothing special about me. I don’t play an instrument I don’t play sports I am not extremely intelligent I don’t have anything that really sets me apart. And maybe this is why I have lost motivation; I don’t think I am worth it. All my life I dream of all these amazing things I could do, and I get to this point and I don’t see how I can make any of them happen, despite my deeply wanting to. -🐘
I am afraid that I am going to be the kind of person who everyone thinks will do great things, but ends up not fulfilling those expectations and disappointing everyone, including myself. I’m already disappointed thus far, why not in the future. It’s also very hard for me to express emotion. My friend compares me to Blue Diamond but I don’t know what the fuck she is thinking because I repress all my emotions. I have cried maybe twice this year, and one was me breaking down out of nowhere -🐘
I had a boyfriend (my first) for a few months, but that ended, and I carry a lot of guilt because looking back, I treated him terribly, and still kind of do. That weighs a lot on me sometimes but I try not to think about it. It was definitely necessary to break up, I don’t regret that, but he did not deserve the way I treated him. -🐘
Oof, that is quite a pickle you’ve got there. It sounds like you’re under a lot of stress, and I totally get that. I’m not great at giving advice, but I’m going to give it anyway.
As someone who puts a lot of importance on school and grades–that is my own personal struggle with self-image–it took me a long time to grasp that my mental health should be at the top of that to do list. Staying up late, waking up late, and poor eating habits aren’t going to pass your SAT, no matter how much other school work you have on your plate. I would say you need to work on your time management skills, but that’s the sort of bullshit you’ll hear no matter who you ask. It’s good advice and something that you should work on in life in general, but it isn’t realistic when its turned into a habit, especially in this crunch time. I’m currently in the first semester of my Junior year in college, working towards my B.A. in English, and I can’t express how hard it is to catch up.
Don’t worry about homework the night before your SAT; it’s far more important. I know it’s hard, but try to go to bed early. Don’t waste your time studying the night before, either, because you’re not going to retain it, certainly not when you’re sleep deprived. Treat yourself, decompress, drink lots of water, go to bed early, eat a good breakfast, and do your best! If you don’t pass, then know that it isn’t the end of the world. It’s just a test–granted, a pricey one–and you can take it again. It might be worth speaking to a counselor about getting a fee waiver (that’s what I did) going by your family’s income. Get a better start next time.
On the topic of counselors, THAT. IS. HER. JOB. She is there to help you to be a successful student and you are absolutely entitled to her help. You most likely won’t get an appointment with her before the SAT date, if she really is busy with college advising, but you absolutely need to go see her while it’s still early in the school year. You don’t feel prepared for college, THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT SHE’S DOING RIGHT NOW! Let her help you! Also, talk to your teachers, explain what’s going on, and ask if they can work with you a little bit! Maybe extend due dates by a day or two! It’s the fucking SATs, they’re more likely to understand than you may think.
Here’s another thing, anon, and I’m sure you’ve been told the opposite plenty of times before: you don’t have to go to college right away. I was in high school not that long ago (graduated in 2016) and I know what sort of pressure they put on students to continue their educations and make big impacts on society and yada yada yada. But you know what? It’s okay to take a break and go at your own pace. Work your way up to college, if that’s what you really want to do, and if you don’t, that’s fine, too. My first college was a two year community college that only required a high school diploma and passing scores on the SAT, ACT, or whatever, and its highest demographic is people in their 30s. Plus, the tuition is one of the cheapest in the state of Florida, and it has tons of resources and counselors to help with job searching and juggling school and life. If you’re set on going to college, I would highly recommend a local community college. There’s absolutely no shame in it. Of course, if you’re parents are planning on shooing you out the door to some distant college by next fall, then you definitely need to talk to them about what you want, once you’ve figured it out. Educate yourself and be firm.
I didn’t get my first job until January of this year, after I got my associates. Now, I’m doing college and school at the same time and let me tell you, it sucks, majorly. Heck, I’m in my second two years in college and I still live with my parents, can’t cook anything that doesn’t go in the microwave or on the stove (I’m scared of the oven :P), have a part-time dead end job that will never support me on my own, and next to no social life. I’m with you, I understand. Having to be an Adult™ fresh out of college was one of my greatest fears.
I can’t help you with the boyfriend thing, but I’m proud of you for owning up to your mistakes. This is the kind of stuff that helps you grow as a person and I hope your next relationship goes a lot more smoothly!
All in all, let me reiterate: YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS MOST IMPORTANT! It’s practically impossible to function, let alone be successful, if you aren’t meeting your needs! As a teenager who’s still growing, it’s imperative to get enough food, water, and sleep! And as a person in general!
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kawuli · 6 years
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sooooooo a bunch of people have started following me lately, hi new people!
Some things, in no particular order:
I usually have a queue going and periodically (try to) clear my likes out into it so if you see a post from months ago that’s why (in theory this is so I can find stuff later, but, well, tumblr). Also, posts going up do not necessarily mean I am around. I promise I’m not secretly mad and ignoring you. It’s possible I am out of interacting-with-humans brain points and am hiding.
I am frequently sarcastic, especially about my own mental health. This is a way to trick my brain out of pitching fits at me and should not be taken as dismissive of brain issues generally.
I try to tag for typical stuff, but I’m also very scatterbrained and sometimes forget. If you need something tagged, let me know and I will try to remember to do it. I can promise no explicit photo/video content (because surprise!porn is not fun for me), very occasionally there may be written NSFW content which I try to tag as such. #asshole ex boyfriend comes with a warning for what it says on the tin/intimate partner Bad Shit. #tends towards guesswork is religion-related. mo liveblogs random shit, mo whines, and mo rants are also what you might expect, feel free to block if you don’t want to read my nonsense. Agriculture, my job, and international development are more likely to contain coherent thoughts.
“Why didn’t you reblog X political thing? Don’t you care about X?” 1. Tumblr is not where I do my activism. 2. I don’t reblog anything with guilt trips attached. 3. I have a lot of shit going on and only so much bandwidth. 4. I try to only reblog posts that have actual concrete things you can do (but sometimes I just need to yell). tw: america is the tag to block. That tag used to be tongue in cheek... and then 2016 happened. 
Rant-inducing buttons include: Bad Takes about a) agriculture, b) international development, c) flyover states or d) Africa; “overhead percentage is a reasonable way to evaluate nonprofits”; “consuming correctly is the solution to all the world’s problems”; “I have the One True Way to do [thing]” where [thing] includes eating, farming, existing in a capitalist society, voting, etc. There’s other things, I’ll remember when someone posts about them. I do try not to pick fights on the internet...but sometimes it can’t be helped.
I get stressed out if I can’t keep up with my dash so I don’t follow many people. This is nothing against you, I’m sure you’re great, but I need to limit the amount of time/energy I spend here.
There’s an about page that is more or less up to date.  TL;DR: I’m 35, she/her pronouns, queer and perpetually confused about it, from the US midwest, have lived on 4 continents in the last 10 years.
Anon is on unless and until people are assholes. Come say hi, I don’t bite.
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flauntpage · 6 years
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WWE is a Mess, So It's Bringing Back Hulk Hogan
At some point, a string of middling shows and way worse television isn’t an accident. Sunday’s Extreme Rules pay-per-view marked a trifecta of monotonous, plodding WWE shows in the wake of WrestleMania. Backlash sucked. Money in the Bank was boring. Extreme Rules stank.
It’s a strange thing, this settling into the new rote normal of mediocrity. Pro wrestling time doesn’t work like normal time. You���ll watch a famous storyline or series of matches in retrospect and realize that it was a matter of months or just a couple of years, not the long stretch of glory you remember. The Summer of Punk (take your pick of which one) was just a summer, the Attitude Era just a few years. Careers are long, stories are short.
That’s why the long string of at least good WWE pay-per-views of 2016 and 2017 suddenly feel hazy. In pro wrestling time, they’re miles past. That Royal Rumble where Asuka and Shinsuke Nakamura won? That was in January; on Sunday, Asuka lost to Carmella because she’s gone from conquering monster to drooling idiot, while Nakamura tasted gold because all he does is nutshots and Jeff Hardy needs time off.
Nothing in the show eclipsed a little better than average. Braun Strowman threw Kevin Owens off a cage in a needlessly dangerous but nonetheless thrilling homage to the Undertaker and Mick Foley’s iconic match 20 years prior in the same city. Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley had a decent match, which Lashley won to set up a showdown with Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam on August 19. A.J. Styles and Rusev had a fun match. And that was pretty much it. Everything else was at least a little boring or outright sucked.
But more than that was the sense that it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Why would it? It was mostly matches we’ve seen over and over. There’s rarely a proper payoff and even fewer actual endings—recall that Nakamura and Styles were supposed to end their feud with a Last Man Standing match in June, only to have a throwaway bout a week ago.
Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax had a hardcore match. Who cares? They fight every week, and a few awkward garbage can bumps don’t change that. On down the line, it was matches we’d seen or new stuff which had bloated buildups due to just how many hours WWE has to fill every week: two on Smackdown, three on Raw, and now four on their expanded (help us all, they expanded them) pay-per-views. We will see every single one of these matches again, ad nauseum, in the coming months.
Again, it wasn’t like this a year ago. A year ago, the whole world was snickering about the dumb name Great Balls of Fire, only to stop when the show went on and it turned out to be one of the best shows of the year. And that was a B-show, where not a ton was going to change, but we got fun, good matches and hot shit angles. Most of 2017 was like this. Most of 2016, too, on down until you have to start digging into 2014 to get to a stretch of truly bad/boring pay-per-views.
It’s like a switch was flipped halfway through WrestleMania (the back half of the show mostly sucked) and WWE turned off the creative lights. Why wouldn’t they? They’ve signed a billion dollar deal with FOX and achieved their dream of getting back on network television once it goes live and Smackdown moves over to FOX's Friday night lineup. They get to run elaborate house shows in Saudi Arabia and suck up all the oxygen through sheer volume wherever they go. Vince McMahon can go chase his inexplicable XFL dreams and just leave WWE to plod on, secure in the knowledge that it’s so rich and well-stocked that it’s become a pro wrestling perpetual motion machine.
The crowd knows. Pittsburgh is catching hell about being disrespectful, not just because they taunted Reigns and Lashley (further proof that Reigns will never have a normal career), but because they novelly dumped on an on-paper barnburner, the Seth Rollins-Dolph Ziggler main event. Every minute, the crowd would count with the timer in a “3, 2, 1, ENNHHHHHHH” cadence which mimicked the Royal Rumble match buzzer. Entitled, self-indulgent, annoying fans.
Yes, they are sometimes all of that, but they’re also fans who are routinely put in arenas for four hour shows where nothing important happens. They’re bored. As wrestling blogger Tom Holzerman pointed out last night, WWE shows are the only place where this happens. Waving away this persistent behavior by WWE fans as something endemic to all pro wrestling fans is a fool’s game, one played on WWE’s turf, because it’s long been the case that the fans can only fail WWE, and never vice versa.
The fans have been failing WWE a lot, apparently. The go-home Raw last week garnered the lowest ratings in the show’s history. Because, again, why would you watch every week? Why would you watch any week? Nothing happens or you’ve seen it before, stuck on an endless loop of pro wrestling purgatory. It doesn’t matter to you. It doesn’t matter to WWE.
It may matter to FOX, though. On the eve of Extreme Rules, WWE released a brief, three sentence statement that Hulk Hogan, pro wrestling’s most famous living racist, is back. He was backstage at Extreme Rules and there’s a very good possibility he’s in front of television cameras soon. WWE’s statement simply refers to Hogan making a “mistake.” There’s no mention of what that was or what his supposed penance was. He’s just back, brother, and he’ll be omnipresent soon enough.
It’s an utterly dismal situation which is absolutely sympatico with the nature of our times. A known racist, who is recorded actually saying he’s a racist, gets to return to his old life of media ubiquity, having paid no price whatsoever beyond a three year banishment from hobnobbing with billionaires and entertainment superstars. This situation is blamed on the media, despite all of us going along with the absolute insanity that what he said doesn’t even warrant a mention in the press release which supposedly closes the book on the thing WWE is insisting we can’t say happened. WWE had a video of him announcing the creation of a “Superstars for Hope” campaign on Monday morning, which would constitute something heartfelt if Stephanie McMahon wasn’t part of the “philanthropy is the future of marketing” crowd. If Hogan’s part of your brand going forward, you better get that philanthropy and good works PR going in. All sins are forgivable if the indulgences are paid for.
WWE gets to rewrite history via reducing racism to a nameless “mistake.” Do the employees like it? They’re faving his return on Instagram and putting up pictures of themselves as kids dressed as Hulk Hogan, but how could we even know what’s real about this? As if WWE would let them speak their minds if they were upset by Hogan’s return. That’s not how corporations work.
Why now? Because the Raw ratings stink, so the nameless nothing which Hogan did disappears into the formless hype of the return of a conquering hero, who we are told is quite contrite but we don’t know is contrite because saying is the same as doing, at least if you’re rich and famous. For the poor, normal rubes, we have to do everything to prove we’re actually sick, actually put-upon, actually in debt, actually in trouble.
There’s also the lingering absurdity of WWE putting on a show—a B-show, but still a big show—and having it all overshadowed by the return of a 64-year-old, who you wouldn’t need if you just did good wrestling. A bunch of 30-somethings and a few people in their early 40s doing the hard work while 60 and 70 year olds get the attention and big money? What is this strange, unrecognizable world?
We joke about how real life is pro wrestling, but this is your Trumpian 2018 in microcosm. Nothing anyone says means anything, the act of doing is only insisted upon for some, and history is mutable, all because a company can simply churn at a standstill forever, like WWE did at Extreme Rules, accruing wealth and power beyond any rational understanding. The G1 Climax started over the weekend, as well. Go watch that, instead, and hope WWE gets its act together.
WWE is a Mess, So It's Bringing Back Hulk Hogan published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/
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