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juuls · 1 year

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Juulna’s 2021 Multi-Fandom Fanfiction Rec List - Part Five

(Yes, I realize this is a year late, but this year's been a bit nuts. I still hope you enjoy these fics anyway!)

Based only on what I’ve read with my own eyes this year!

Follow me on my journey into what, at times, was…

…actually rather calming! Perhaps you can find some comfort and entertainment, fluff and angst and romance and friendship, smut and a distinct lack of it, space adventures and fantasy and modern adventures, serial killers and good guys, redemption and reconciliation and learning to become someone completely different — there is so much here I read that stuck with me over the past year, and the 2021 Fanfic Reading Challenge ( @fanfic-reading-challenge ) allowed me a new way to keep track of all of my favourites. So props to that event! Definitely participating again (considering I run the event, yeah, that's probably a given lol, but full disclosure).

Without further ado, here were my 2021 fic favourites!

Fandom: Doctor Who

ElevenRose:

(Past NineRose, TenRose) Mad, Beautiful, Fantastic by JulietRose

If you ever tried to tell Amy that there was a time before The Doctor and Rose danced, she’d call you a liar... The Doctor and Rose just danced. It’s what they did. They made their way through their mad, beautiful, fantastic life spinning each other around and waltzing to a tango. Every turn the universe threw at them, they could overcome. To Amy, they were invincible—an indisputable fact of life.

But one too many turns may end up leading them on a collision course. One too many mistakes, one too many times they’ll have everything ripped away from them...

Entire civilizations see them as gods, but Amy has seen them in tears.

— An Eleven Era rewrite with Rose Tyler.

TwelveRose:

The Bar by @yearn4themoon

The Twelfth Doctor is enjoying a drink in a bar, when a woman walks in. A woman he is instantly drawn to like a moth to a flame.

NineRose:

Kissing It Better by @aintfraidanoghosts

He really was just trying to save her life...honest!

Gialara by @caedmonfaith

A visit to the planet Reth for the Winter Solstice festival ends in a jail cell and with a choice neither the Doctor nor Rose expected.

A different take on the sex pollen/aphrodisiacs/shag-or-die trope.

Tea In The Sahara by @diannelamerc

Rose would be the first to admit that landings in the TARDIS were rarely smooth. But they didn't usually leave you sprawled on the ceiling either.

To Save Her by kaeorin

The Doctor and Rose end up on a dangerous planet at a dangerous time, and the Doctor is given a choice. He can wait in his cell while any number of guards hurt his companion, or he can do it himself.

Penance and Pain by @paigenotblank

Rose and the Doctor land on a planet ruled by women while searching for a missing artifact. The Doctor gets taken prisoner for breaking their laws. Can Rose save him? And can their relationship survive his punishment?

taking the lead by @megabadbunny

She can’t always trust her instincts. She can—and does—trust the Doctor.

Prove It by @timeladyofthesith

When Jack drags the Doctor into a bragging contest, it seemed like a typical ‘my horse is bigger than your horse’ banter. It’s all fun and games, until Rose challenges the Doctor to prove his moves are far superior like he says. Any ego would want to defend its reputation, and the Doctor has the biggest ego in the multiverse.

(Smut only occurs between 9/Rose)

Armless by @allegoricalrose

Nine/Rose: Life's hard when Rose's arms are temporarily paralysed and the Doctor insists on helping her shower...

TenRose:

Marked by banana_daiquiri

The Doctor and Rose take a vacation...only, as usual, they find themselves in trouble and must prove to their captors that they are a married couple. What that entails may be problematic for the Doctor....

Tactical Survival Maneuvers by @allrightfine

The Doctor and Rose find themselves in the middle of a forest, being hunted for sport, with all the applicable cliches that go along with that.

Follow the Tide by gingerteaandsympathy

The air is sweltering, hazy and hot in a way that would be oppressive if a chill weren’t still clinging to her skin. As it is, the rolling clouds of steam feel like heaven on her wind-burnt cheeks, greeting her before she can even get her clothes off and sink into the bath.

Undressing, she mutters her grateful thanks to the timeship that had unexpectedly directed her to this room—or perhaps "directed" isn't the right word. Her door had actually disappeared from its usual wall, replaced by a glowing arrow and a winding hallway with which she wasn't familiar. And that hallway had led her here.

More Than Sex by @kelkat9

The Doctor takes Rose to a celebration of color; beyond fun and dancing, something lingers in the Doctor's eyes. Rose feels it even if she doesn't understand until a moment of jealousy clarifies there's more happening than a possessive Doctor or a celebration of color. On the TARDIS, feelings are revealed and the truth of who they are and what they mean to each other cannot be denied.

Shifts by @kscribbles

They had all this long night, after all, in this little bed, by the fire, beneath a storm.

Pajamas and Poison by @leftennant

Rose and the Doctor concoct simultaneous plots to get one another in bed. (with a little help from the TARDIS)

Helping Hands by @orchisailsa

Ten is healing Rose's injured leg, and she finds herself in quite a predicament. A "how it could have happened" story, involving a sexy first or two for one my favorite star-crossed pairs. Set early-to-mid-Series 2 (but it doesn't reference any episodes). Canon-compatible.

Stuck on You by @tenroseforeverandever

Rose, hot and bothered and in need of a distraction, tries to divert the Doctor’s attention from his repairs on the TARDIS by flirting with him mercilessly and teasing him about the sticky notes that have recently been accumulating on the TARDIS console, piquing her curiosity.

Let Me Be Your Remedy by @tenscupcake

An amorous extraterrestrial spikes the Doctor's dessert with a potent aphrodisiac, and Rose has to deal with the consequences.

Senses Only Divide Us by @tenscupcake

When the Doctor is rendered temporarily blind and deaf by a hostile sect of aliens, Rose discovers the only way to comfort him is through touch.

The Darling Buds of May by ValueTurtle

A plotless frolic through fields of euphoria-inducing flowers, or, the one where the Doctor accidentally gets Rose high as balls.

This Cursed Sixth Sense by @vampiyaa

The Doctor's new body is proving to be a burden, with its oversensitiveness and desire to touch. Rose, it seems, makes it worse. He loves his little companion, but he chooses not to poison her, not when the TARDIS bombards his mind with images of her undressing, not when they're stuck in the dark, not even when he dreams of her naked every night. Until the TARDIS chooses for him. Interfering TARDIS!fic.

The Key by @vampiyaa

Rose's TARDIS key is proving to have changed just as much as the Doctor has, in his tenth body. She's kept it on a chain that she keeps round her neck, and whenever she's nervous, she sucks on it. Too bad the TARDIS is channelling that straight to him. One shot, Ten/Rose, very silly; Interfering TARDIS!fic

Mind Fever by @vampiyaa

Ten/Rose smutfic based off of Voyager's 'Blood Fever'. The Doctor and Rose go down into the tunnels to rescue miners trapped inside, but why exactly is the Doctor acting so strangely?

Heartsmith by @licieoic

In this universe, people don't wear their hearts on their sleeves... they wear them around their necks. Sometimes, when a heart is broken or damaged, you can get a new one, but Rose would rather have her heart repaired. A heart-seller in the market points her to the Heartsmith.

Five Times the Doctor didn't find out that Rose Tyler was a Time Lady… And one time he did by Qwerts

Rose Tyler has changed, but after Reinette she's doubting her place in the Doctor's life and doesn't tell him. What happens when he finds out the truth? Jack, Jackie, and the Master all make an appearance! NOT a GitF fic or a Reinette-bashing fic, BUT if you're a Reinette fan this probably isn't the fic for you. VERY Ten/Rose!

Kings and Lords by WhoMe-2

Rose Tyler never imagined she would one day marry a King, especially when she knew her heart belonged to a Lord. Will the possibility of a forced marriage to another force the boundaries of the Doctor and Rose's relationship to be crossed once and for all, or will it drive them apart? **1st in the Kings and Lords series**

TenRose & NineRose:

Introspection (in Pursuit of Perfection) by mayaspice

Rose’s experiences with love and sex and longing deviate somewhat from the average swell but, in her whole nineteen years of life, she can’t seem to put her finger on how exactly. That is, until her Doctor transforms into a woman and suddenly she can’t quite remember how to get oxygen into her body. Female!Ten/Rose.

The Choice by @lastincurableromantic

After GitF, the TARDIS brings the Doctor, Rose and Mickey back to Earth to solve an emergency involving the TARDIS herself. But when they see a familiar face, the face of someone who should not exist, they realize the crisis is much deeper than they thought and is one that could endanger the Doctor's very existence.

#fic recs #doctor who #juulna recs #tenrose #ninerose #elevenrose #captain jack harkness #rose tyler #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #twelfth doctor #twelverose #fanfiction #2021frc #2021 fanfic reading challenge

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redgoldsparks · 8 months

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My very last comic for The Nib! End of an era! Transcription below the cut. instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble

The first event I went to with GENDER QUEER was in NYC in 2019 at the Javits Center.

So many of the people who came to my signing were librarians, and so many of them said the same thing: "I know exactly who I want to give this to!" Maia: "Thank you for helping readers find my book!" While working on the book, I was genuinely unsure if anyone outside of my family and close friends would read it. But the early support of librarians and two American Library Association awards helped sell two print runs in first year.

Since then, GENDER QUEER been published in 8 languages, with more on the way: Spanish, Czech, Polish, French, Italian, Norwegian, Portugese and Dutch.

It has also been the most banned book in the United States for the past two years. The American Library Association has tracked an astronomical increase in book challenges over the past few years. Most of these challenges are to books with diverse characters and LGBTQ themes. These challenges are coming unevenly across the US, in a pattern that mirrors the legislative attacks on LGBTQ people. The Brooklyn Public Library offered free eCards to anyone in the US aged 13-21, in an effort to make banned books more available to young readers. A teacher in Norman, Oklahoma gave her students the QR code for the free eCard and lost her job. Summer Boismeir is now working for the Brooklyn Public Library. Hoopla and Libby/Overdrive, apps used to access digital library books, are now banned in Mississippi to anyone under 18. Some libraries won’t allow anyone under 18 to get any kind of library card without parental permission. When librarians in Jamestown, Michigan refused to remove GENDER QUEER and several other books, the citizens of the town voted down the library’s funding in the fall 2022 election. Without funding, the library is due to close in mid-2024. My first event since covid hit was the American Library Association conference in June 2022 in Washington, DC. Once again, the librarians in my signing line all had similar stories for me: “Your book was challenged in our district" "It was returned to the shelf!" "It was removed from the shelf..." "It was moved to the adult section."

Over and over I said: "Thank you. Thank you for working so hard to keep my book in your library. I’m sorry you had to defend it, but thank you for trying, even if it didn't work." We are at a crossroads of freedom of speech and censorship. The future of libraries, both publicly funded and in schools, are at stake. This is massively impacting the daily lives of librarians, teachers, students, booksellers, and authors around the country. In May 2023, I read an article from the Washington Post analyzing nearly 1000 of the book challenges from the 2021-2022 school year. I was literally on route to a festival to talk about book bans when I read a startling statistic. 60% of the 1000 book challenges were submitted by just 11 people. One man alone was responsible for 92 challenges. These 11 people seem to have made submitting copy-cat book challenges their full-time hobby and their opinions are having an outsized ripple effect across the nation. WE NEED TO MAKE THE VOICES SUPPORTING DIVERSE BOOKS AND OPPOSING BOOK BANS EVEN LOUDER. If you are able too, show up for your library and school board meetings when book challenges are debated. Send supportive comments and emails about the Pride book display and Drag Queen story hours. If you see a display you like– for Banned Book Week, AAPI Month, Black History Month, Disability Awareness Month, Jewish holidays, Trans Day of Remembrance– compliment a librarian! Make sure they feel the love stronger than the hate <3

Maia Kobabe, 2023

The Nib

#maia kobabe #banned books #library funding #comics #book challenges

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amarrymeinbostonwriter · 4 months

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Happy New Year everyone! :)

I came up with several resolutions that mostly align with things I was already doing any way.

Since this is a quasi-bookblr (sometimes I guess?), I am hoping to read at least 50 books this year. I finished 64 last year. I lowered the goal because I have other things going on; like work, grad school, and trying to learn how to drive.

I already bought my first books of the year in a small haul last night. I'll share them in a picture or pictures when they come in. Until then, I've been reading (mostly for school but some of what I've been reading is by choice). I can't wait to be done with my program. It feels like it's been dragging a lot lately.

#I know this is late #I haven't logged in since last year #happy new year!#the new year's holiday is actually my favorite holiday #reading goals #I have a 2024 reading challenge too on storygraph that I'll repost #books #bookblr #oh yes! And I'm doing a savings' challenge this year- that 100 envelopes challenge #I decided to do it while I was working to start saving #most of my goals are probably boring though #like graduate grad school (I'm supposed to in the summer/fall any way)#I've been in my program since October 2021 so I'd like to get to move on with my life soon lol #pretty standard stuff really; save money get a driver's license get a better job when I get out of school get back into writing #the not writing does hurt me but I haven't really come up with anything in a while :/#mychatter

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corollaservant · 29 days

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anyways...

(suggestive) mess up ur white tee w jjk men

based on this 2021 tiktok challenge lol

Gojo: bro is horny before you even start to film. he doesn’t even notice your nails or understand really what the fuck is going on, all he knows is you have your hands on his growing bulge and he can’t concentrate. he snatches your phone with his huge palms and throws it across the room, you shriek as he pins you down and rubs himself on you. you never finish filming the challenge and he notices your nails after he sees the scratches on his back under the bathroom light as you clean him up.

Geto: he is used to these shenanigans of yours, of course he doesn't approve (he doesn't even know why one would use tiktok in the first place) but goes along with it. after a couple of takes he is bored but without realizing it hard- it’s when he notices your nails which are done beautifully, “these look really cute babe” he compliments while holding your hand and dragging you to sit on his lap, his cock poking you playfully.

Nanami: he doesn’t see you film until a flash hits his grey sweatpants and he turns to you confused. “babe what is this?” he is genuinely curious so he closes the book he's reading. you explain and he laughs, he doesn't really mind, after about 10 takes though he is painfully hard so he stops you and kisses you. “lets put these pretty nails to good use now, alright?”

Toji: bro won't even ask, he doesn’t give a fuck at this point, he lets you do whatever you want as long as his face isnt being filmed, what he doesnt know is that your stupid tiktoks get him hard, you've been palming him for 15 minutes and he’s had enough. he will grab your phone and free his cock, you are not getting it back until he comes in your pretty blabbering mouth (you explained the challenge but he wasn't listening). as for the nails, he’ll notice while having you bent over as you're gripping the sheets, he thinks they suit you but will not comment on it to tease you.

Sukuna: you are neither explaining or filming in the first place. he’ll glance at your new set once and within seconds have you pump his cock with them. “pretty nails” is all he’ll say after. “you didn't need a challenge to have me fuck you”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #jjk x you #jjk x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #toji x reader #nanami x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk men #corollaservant

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songoftrillium · 9 months

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Werewolf: the Apocalypse 5th Edition and the Anti-Indigeneity in the Gaming Industry

reosted with permission from J.F. Sambrano

Dagot’ee!

Shii J.F. Sambrano gonsēē. My nations are Chiricahua Apache (Ndeh) through my maternal grandmother and Cora Indian (Náayarite) through my maternal grandfather. I am a mixed race Indigenous person, and through my father my heritage is English and Scottish. I am currently residing and doing work in my community on the lands of Lummi Nation. I use both gender non-binary and masculine pronouns, but prefer the former. I have several published works in the TTRPG industry, and am probably most known for my contributions to Mage: the Ascension 20th Edition, Werewolf: the Apocalypse 20th Edition, and the Transformers Roleplaying Game, as well as being part of the Essence 20 development team. Further, I also work in higher education at an Indian college, both advising and teaching Indigenous students across the United States. My passion is education, and I believe that we all learn through play, and that TTRPGs are a valuable source of learning, especially on personal, cultural, and social levels. This has always been what has drawn me to TTRPGs since I started playing M.E.R.P. with my brother in 1996 (and before that HeroQuest), through to my “graduation” into more story-driven games such as those presented in the Storyteller System, until now, where I author and produce my own roleplaying games.

I was also part of the First Team (in-joke intentional) hired by White Wolf Studios/Paradox Interactive via Hunters Entertainment to develop and author Werewolf: the Apocalypse 5th Edition. After several months of work, Paradox Interactive chose to go in another direction in early 2021 (I believe it was either March or April) and in fall of that year, it was announced that Werewolf would instead be taken in house, with Justin Achilli as the Brand Creative Lead and primary author of the book. Going forward I will be describing my experience while I worked with Paradox Interactive, primarily through Karim Muammar, White Wolf’s Brand Editor, as well as the developmental editor for Werewolf. Although I worked in a team, both with hired authors and in-house representatives at Hunters Entertainment, I will not be speaking for the experience of others, except when specifically noting unanimous consensuses, and specific interactions (which will go unnamed) that are particularly relevant. My hope is that by highlighting some of the anti-Indigenous attitudes that are central to the foundational members and leaders of the White Wolf brand, that I can provide opportunities for growth and healing within the World of Darkness TTRPG community, but also in the broader gaming community, where these behaviors and attitudes are rampant. I also want the community to have a better understanding of what this experience is like internally, and the challenges that Indigenous creators, as well as other marginalized creators, are met with when they try to make positive change within nerd and geek communities clinging to inherited white supremacist values, even if they don’t realize they are doing so.

What I do not want to be doing in this article is creating fuel for edition wars. I believe that both legacy and Werewolf 5th are rife with anti-Indigenous attitudes, and appalling amounts of appropriation. Both versions deserve criticism, I am not defending one over the other, I am only sharing what my experience was like working on the 5th edition of the book. Further, please understand that I was originally going to wait until I had read the final copy of the book, because I wanted to know how much of my work was used (based on previews I already know some was, just not the extent) and whether or not they decided to credit me for that work, and how I was going to be credited. My belief is that I likely will not be, but I am genuinely uncertain. Knowing how they handled that would have reframed how I addressed this. But more importantly, I want it to be very clear that even before Paradox ultimately pulled the plug on the Hunters team, I was preparing to exit working on the project based on the experience I will describe below. Not only did I find it frustrating, and personally disparaging, but I ultimately decided I was uncomfortable with my name being attached to the product based on the direction they wanted to go. So while I wanted to know whether or not I would be credited, because it would teach me something about their internal practices, I do not want or need the credit.

Finally, the reason that I decided to speak about this now instead of after having a chance to inspect the final product, was because my personal experience dealing with anti-Indigeneity coming from Paradox was just that: personal. But since then I have witnessed a throughline of hateful and xenophobic attitudes wielded against Indigenous people across the globe, and we do not deserve this treatment. I was outraged over the events that led to the segregation of the Latin American fanbase, which culminated from bottom-up criticism about how poorly their people and countries were being defined through World of Darkness products, and ended up with the firing of their Latin American Brand Ambassador, Alessa Torres, because she chose to stand with her community in those criticisms. I was further appalled when the likeness of Tāme Wairere Iti was shoehorned into the Werewolf book, a blatant example of cultural theft: not only in stealing the literal physical identity of an Indigenous person, but also his sacred tā moko. When Paradox Interactive issued an apology for this, it felt incredibly hollow to me in the wake of these events, the hateful attitudes I had personally witnessed coming from the top.

Whether from North America, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, or Peru, or across the globe in New Zealand, not only do Indigenous people deserve better treatment from such a major company, but their Indigenous and Latino fanbases, who have twisted and worked themselves through difficult representation for decades at this point, deserve better. Apologies are not enough, especially when they come with next to no real change.

Werewolf: the Apocalypse in Context

At the time that White Wolf Publishing began to produce its World of Darkness line, the TTRPG industry was dominated by white men, both as producers, developers, and authors, as well as the main characters in their settings. White Wolf's World of Darkness made an impact at the time, by defying these Eurocentric, patriarchal presentations, first by defaulting to feminine pronouns throughout Vampire: the Masquerade, and then by focusing on Indigenous representation and values in Werewolf: the Apocalypse, and as a young Indigenous nerd, it had a positive impact on me, as I know it has on some other Indigenous people who became fans of the World of Darkness at the time. This was because before opening the pages of Werewolf: the Apocalypse, I had never seen heroes that I could play who looked like me and my culture. It was off, and often offensive, but it was my first experience in which I could directly play a hero who shared my heritage--and I also had more than one option through two different Tribes to do so. This might sound a little like I was cheering for table scraps, but again, at the time, table scraps was more than I had ever seen before.

Werewolf: the Apocalypse 1st Edition was originally published in 1992 via then White Wolf Publishing (not to be confused with Paradox Interactive's White Wolf). From its inception, the premise was interwoven with what its then-authors believed to be Indigenous praxis and representation. Like many pop-culture presentations of Indigeneity from this time period (see Fern Gully, Dances With Wolves, Disney’s Pocahontas, or in TTRPGs, the NAN from Shadowrun) it was rife with problematic and even offensive stereotyping. The most obvious examples thereof are within the two "Pure Tribes" Uktena, and W****** who I will henceforth refer to as Older and Younger Brother. However, Indigenous inspiration was at the core of the game's spiritual premise as well, where animism and "Totems" are central to the setting and gameplay. The way these concepts are presented is trivializing and dehumanizing, but it is important to acknowledge that the appropriation present in Werewolf: the Apocalypse goes a lot deeper than the two Brother Tribes (even the term "Tribe" was meant to invoke a vision of Indigeneity compared to the previous setting in the line's use of "Clan"). Additionally, there is art throughout every generation of these gaming books that represents humans, wolves, and human-wolf hybrid forms wearing Indigenous regalia, including sacred items such as headdresses, or engaged in sacred rituals such as the Sun Dance. The list of problematic representations goes deep, and my examples only scratch the surface, but it is also important for me to note the positive impact that this had, particularly in the 90's.

Even though the primary contributors to these narratives were non-Indigenous authors, or in one case, a Pretendian, and another, a culturally disconnected author, by the time the Revised (or Third Edition) era of the books came around, White Wolf Publishing was actively engaged in cultural consultation. While I do not believe cultural consultation makes a big difference on its own, it matters that the attempt was made, to a degree: while these efforts fall short of what needs to be seen in cultural representation, this was still ahead of most other gaming companies at this time.

Hired by Hunters Entertainment

In February of 2020 I was approached by one of the co-owners of Hunters Entertainment to be one of the primary authors for Werewolf: 5th Edition due to my work on other World of Darkness projects, and let's be honest, because I was capable of bringing a much needed Indigenous perspective to a gameline that was rooted in Indigeneity and rotting with appropriation and racist stereotypes. I was overall receptive to the invitation, largely because I was very passionate about the World of Darkness setting overall, and Werewolf in particular, due to the impact that 90's representation had on me when I was a younger gamer. I also felt hopeful that with a really hard rewrite of Indigenous aspects of the game that I could shift a lot of really painful aspects of the game into something that was a net positive for Indigenous representation. I will tell you now, more than anything, I was excited to rewrite the Younger Brother Tribe, because when separated from racist authors, their message is very empowering and real to my lived experience.

That said, I did not agree to join the project without first asking for reassurances. I said that I was not willing to write negative Native stereotypes. I would not use appropriative language, or generally engage in appropriative writing (which meant at minimum that the names of the Pure Tribes would need to change), and most importantly, that I would not not engage in writing that contributed to erasure. While the person who recruited me to work on the project was eager to work with me, he acknowledged that he was not sure he could get everything I wanted to see approved, but also promised to fight for everything I suggested as hard as he could. Additionally, he shared with me that the original setting pitch for W5 involved all of Younger Brother being slaughtered en masse in a massacre. I made it clear that this was exactly the kind of thing that I would not write. I cannot remember if this was something he suggested to be changed before or after I was invited onto the project, but with some pushback it was changed. However, I point this out because I want you, the reader, to understand how eager Paradox Interactive was to start with mass genocide and erasure as a foundation to the setting. All that said, I cannot stress enough that I have had nothing but positive experiences with Hunters Entertainment, and none of the following concerns fall upon them.

The Sword of Heimdall

The first encounter the Hunters Entertainment team as a whole had with problematic guidelines for the W5 draft was the direction that Paradox Interactive wanted to go with the Sword of Heimdall. At the time, the suggestions from Paradox and Karim Muammar were that the Sword of Heimdall was going to represent the new major villain of the Werewolf setting, and that they were to also represent the far-right, fascist direction that Werewolf society so often turned toward. They were meant to be representative of how far the new concept of Hauglosk could take entire communities. However, the Sword of Heimdall was discussed interchangeably with the Get of Fenris as a whole, and more than once Muammar seemed to suggest that every member of this Tribe was guilty of the same attitudes espoused in previous editions from the Sword of Heimdall. Now let's not beat around the bush: the Sword of Heimdall are literal Nazis. They believe directly in white supremacy and don't shy from it. They wanted to cleanse impure elements from the Get of Fenris, including BIPOC people, other non-white ethnicities, women, neurodivergent Garou, and other disabled Garou.

The writing team found this approach problematic for several reasons. The first, and most obvious, was that the direction seemed to want to turn one of the most popular Tribes into a horrific stereotype of its most abhorrent faction. Whether or not Muammar’s goal was to turn them into villains, we could not imagine a world where fans of previous editions would get their hands on this book, and not look for a way to play one of their previous favorite groups, thus creating the issue of making a guide to playing Nazi. Even beyond that, it’s not as if historically there were not players who used the tools of the setting to play Black Spiral Dancers, why wouldn’t this draw people who actually wanted to role-play through these toxic, harmful politics? Further, and while this is less important, it left a bad taste in my mouth, the justification for this major shift in Werewolf lore seemed to change over each pass. At first, Muammar suggested that all Fenrir were Nazis/SoH. Then, when he was provided with evidence that it was a small faction that was eliminated in the early 2000’s, he started to shift toward the idea that we should not follow the lore. Finally, when every single member of the writer’s team flatly refused to provide what would essentially be “a player’s guide to being a Nazi werewolf” the writing was on the wall about the end of our involvement with this product. More than once, he suggested that we were cowardly social justice warriors for being unwilling to work with this concept, even though there were several attempts to write a heroic version of the Fenrir that were focused on undoing these ills of the past.

Indigenous Erasure in Werewolf: 5th Edition

While the entire Hunters Entertainment writing team was handling the major, glaring issue of Paradox’s fervor to include a major Nazi element in Werewolf, I was personally dealing with the problematic approach to the Indigenous issues in the setting. The largest problem, for me, was in addressing Younger Brother’s issues, the history of non-Indigenous writers creating horrifically racist stereotypes, and what was valuable in the Tribal identity that should be saved and recentered. However, my attempts to do so were thwarted with every approach. I rewrote this Tribe four times, and offered three different versions of it to try to earn approval for a final write-up, but each time there was a lot of negativity directed towards my attempts and all them boiled down to this: Muammar felt that having two Tribes (both Younger and Older Brother) representing the “Indigenous population” was too many, and wanted them to only be focused on Older Brother, and that Younger Brother’s connection to a central, Indigenous identity, was undesirable because “other sources wrote them as having Siberian and European connections” and that future writing on this Tribe would require a lot of sensitivity…suggesting that one, Muammar wasn’t interested in doing the work to handle that level of sensitivity, and further, that he wasn’t interested in including me in future work, since I was involved with doing that at the time.

I want to take a moment to remind you that the work that was put into recovering Younger Brother started with “Let’s Kill Them Off” and at this point, through a combination of convincing and pleading, had been walked back to “They can live, but now they’re not connected to being Indigenous anymore” which is just representative genocide of a different variety. “Kill the Indian in him, and save the man.” It was also explicitly something I said I would not write about going into this project. Ultimately, my efforts did not get much further than this, with some specific exceptions I will cite below.

Karim Muammar’s Anti-Indigenous Positions

Muammar consistently and repeatedly communicated to the team in ways that were condescending and dismissive of our collective accomplishments and capabilities, but from my perspective, no one suffered as much significant derision as I did while discussing the changes I wanted to make to Younger and Older Brother in order to make their representation empowering and exciting.

In the pulled quote from the previous paragraph, I want to point out to you that Muammar, who had the title of Lead Editor on this project, refused to capitalize Native American. Further, he would often redline my work with edits to decapitalize my own uses of Native American, as well as the word Indigenous when referring to Indigenous peoples. While there are plenty of people who might want to argue about this, I will point out that both the AP style guide as well as the Chicago style guide (the one which I am most familiar with in my academic historical work) both call for Indigenous to be capitalized when referring to a people. Further, I challenge anyone to defend the consistent decapitalization of Native American. More importantly, the reason that these are standards in respected style guides, is because the English language has been used historically to oppress and erase ethnic identities, including Indigenous identities. By transforming adjectives into proper nouns, we are declaring that Indigenous and Native aren’t descriptors that can be applied to animals, plants, and soil, but real lived identities and culture groups.

When I was explaining to the Paradox team (which was mostly just Muammar) why it was important to change the names of these two Tribes from the appropriative (and offensive) ones used in the past, Muammar pushed back by defending the previously used Younger Brother name, even after reading my extensive research and explanation about how this would harm Indigenous communities and fans.

While doing so, he also decided that it was appropriate to refer to this entirely Native American tribe by the word “savages” a slur that has been specifically used to dehumanize Native Americans, and then mocked my rewrite that focused on presenting them as stewards of the land using Indigenous methodologies and praxes, instead of the “savage” racist stereotypes they were presented as in previous editions. Further, as in the above quote, even after it was communicated that the use of this term was problematic, he kept doubling-down to use it to refer to the Tribe.

Even though I worked hard to redefine Younger Brother through Indigenous theory, such as place-based theory, relational theory, and communal theory, Muammar either refused to recognize this work, dismissing it as simple, or else simply could not understand the importance of these changes. Either way, the choice is that he didn’t want them to change, or couldn’t comprehend why the change was important because of how entrenched in white supremacist thinking he is. Further, after the massive effort that I put forward to attempt to educate him and the rest of the Paradox team on these issues, the insistence on using offensive terms and belittling my work felt intentional. So let’s talk about the work I did that was above and beyond my job description: free cultural consulting work.

“Sensitivity” and Consultation

I have seen several misunderstandings of my role working on this project going around, so I want to make something very clear. I was hired to work on this project as an author, and nothing else. I was not ever hired to be a cultural consultant. I do not do cultural consulting work. While I feel that there are many creators and companies who hire cultural consultants with the best intentions in mind, their responses often fall short of what is needed, as no one is ever obligated to actually follow the advice of cultural consultants. Further, I think there are also many companies who choose to hire cultural consultants only to say “we did this minimal step, and that is enough” in order to ward off naysayers.

However, anyone who hires me gets some level of cultural consulting for free, because it comes out in my writing–in both what I won’t write and what I choose to center my writing around. In the case of Werewolf 5th Edition, however, it was far more involved than this. I came with a plethora of “I will not write X” because I knew the setting was so problematic. A short list of my demands besides not being willing to write Indigenous erasure, was that we needed to change the names of the Pure Tribes (and the term Pure Tribe itself), we needed to change the word Totem to Patron, and also the Patrons of the Pure Tribes. We needed to move away from the term Metis for obvious reasons, and we needed to move away from the term Skin Dancers. I also specifically noted that there was a lot of cultural theft happening from the beginning of Werewolf until now that I wanted to address. The only way these issues were going to be addressed was to convince Paradox they were actual issues on the level of PR concerns, because nothing else was likely going to be considered. So in order to achieve this, I put in weeks worth of research, writing, and meetings with top level administrators with Hunters Entertainment so that they could bring this information to Paradox. I never documented my hours, but I would guess that I did approximately 80-100 hours of what I could only describe as cultural consultation work for free that was outside the contract work I was hired for. Let’s be clear: I did this willingly because I was passionate about the positive changes I wanted to see in this product, because I believed that Werewolf’s historic ills could be turned toward non-toxic representation.

Besides my actual words, such as naming the Ghost Council, and arguably the name Gale Stalkers came from a combination of names I pitched to Paradox after Winter’s Teeth was denied, and several sentences and paragraphs that I have seen so far that appear so close to what I originally wrote that you could imagine they were just edited versions, my largest contribution toward the final version of Werewolf: 5th Edition was this work. The only reason the offensive, appropriated names were changed were because of hours of my work to convince them it needed to happen. The reason that the Gale Stalkers aren’t just dead and gone: again, I pushed against this. The reason that Skin Dancers, Totem, and Metis will not appear as canonical titles? I pushed against their unwillingness to alter these things (see Karim’s defense of Wen**** Tribe name above).

Further, and this is the biggest reason I decided to write this article before seeing the final version of the book, I want to mention that I was also included in discussions with Hunters Entertainment to potentially be part of the art direction team, especially to oversee depictions of Indigenous characters, regalia, and art, to ensure that it would be represented either respectfully or not at all. I decided I needed to speak as soon as possible after the artistic portrayal of Tāme Iti appeared in the Glass Walkers preview without his permission. There are many arguments surrounding this issue and I am not going to address everything, but ultimately, I can tell you that had I remained as part of the art direction team, and saw that, I would have questioned it immediately. Even if I didn’t recognize Tāme Iti immediately, I would have asked what the source was on the depiction of moko in that piece, because I am aware that this is a sacred form of art–and I had already discussed wanting to make sure things like Crinos in headdresses didn’t appear in the book (as had often happened in previous editions, particularly on a certain white-skinned character whose name rhymes with Steals-the-Past).

As time working on this project went on, and I went through rounds and rounds of trying to convince Muammar and Paradox that it was important to not steal Indigenous identities, art, and stories, and that a greater effort needed to be put in powerful and empowering Indigenous representation, and I constantly ran into refusals and criticisms that were clearly hateful toward Indigenous identities and peoples, not to mention the push to represent Nazism as a major part of the game setting, I grew increasingly frustrated and restless with feeling like I was trying to work on a challenging project while also defending my right to exist as the person I am at every turn. Eventually I turned to another Indigenous TTRPG and game creator to ask for advice, and after a long and difficult discussion, I came to the conclusion that I was going to talk to the Hunters administration team and tell them that if Muammar kept using slurs and other anti-Indigenous language and attitudes, I was going to need to step off of this project, because it was harmful to me on a personal level. In furtherance of this point, I have been avoiding doing any contract work at all where I can tell that I am wanted for my specific cultural perspective ever since, because this situation was so harrowing for me.

Unfortunately, before I could have this conversation, after one final draft of Younger Brother and Bone Gnawers (which had its own issues, but that is not the point of this discussion), before we received any other specific feedback, the Hunters Entertainment administrators announced to the writing team that Paradox had decided to take the book in-house, and would no longer need our services.

The main point I would like to leave you with, besides these few specific quotes (out of dozens and dozens) that Muammar made that were anti-Indigenous, is that there is often a big call to have more BIPOC voices in various entertainment industries, so that both our stories, perspectives, and unique views on how the universe and life works, can be included; so that an industry that is historically, harmfully Eurocentric, might turn toward new, healthier, and inclusive directions. And I agree with this call for change, but I implore you to consider the conditions that BIPOC creators often have to work under: doing cultural/identity work and consultation for free as part of being present, being subject to vicious refusals of our experiences and perspectives, and straight-up having slurs lodged against our work. I want to see these changes in the industries we love, including the gaming industry, but currently the people who are in charge, who have the most power, are severely hostile to our work and our perspectives. This is why, for example, works like Coyote & Crow were done with an almost entirely Indigenous group of creators, and led by Indigenous creators, because trying to work for and with this ugly, hateful, and xenophobic group of people is so often exhausting, both mentally and spiritually, and because no good changes end up being made.

I am glad the harmful, appropriative terms were removed from the setting. I am glad I was part of the fight to make that real. I am not so glad that I was treated with hostility and racism by Muammar for the effort and love I put into this work, and I am not so glad that I will certainly be reviled by one of the two communities I did this work for–the gaming community, and certainly the people in power in this industry–and I am also not so glad that I didn’t have the opportunity to properly acknowledge how much of Werewolf’s base themes and setting are twisted and tied-up in Indigenous appropriation without giving the proper acknowledgments.

More than anything, I hope that this story will help you, the fans, realize that there is a lot of darkness in these communities, and they won’t change unless you hold their feet to the fire.

Ánaagodzįįhł

J.F. Sambrano

#decolonization #ttrpg #werewolves #writing #world of darkness #werewolf: the apocalypse #werewolf the apocalypse #mage: the ascension #vampire: the masquerade #changeling: the dreaming

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literarilytrisha · 2 years

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tags dump ii

#&& aesthetics #&& inspirations #&& prompts #&& writing challenges #&& reading challenges #&& fun challenges #read in 2019 #read in 2020 #read in 2021 #read in 2022 #goodreads #wordpress blog #&& queue; if you believe in me; hands up!#!! anticipated books #instagram #read in 2023 #read in 2024

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gentlyweeps-world · 5 months

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The "It" Girl | 2

summary: Being a rookie in the world of Formula One comes with challenges, added on with the fact you’re a girl, American and racing for Red Bull doesn’t help. While you do have your “guard dogs” and “it girl” tendencies, it doesn’t help that you’re also trying to figure out romance.

pairing: 2021 grid x fem! driver, lando norris x fem! driver reader

warnings: sexism, alcohol consumption, toxic environments, uncomfortable situations

Previously: Finally reaching the Red Bull garage, Max and you get there and are immediately bombarded with cheers, laughter and applause from the Red Bull team.

After a good hour of celebrating with the team, you feel your phone vibrate in your hand, “Who is it?”, Max asks, curious to see who texted you.

Checking the notification it’s from an unknown number, asking if you wanted to go and celebrate with them, you look up at Max with confusion, but his face shows the opposite.

“Didn’t know he would be asking you so soon..”, Max says with a look of shock.

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

“Who??” You ask, looking up from your phone to Max. “What are you guys looking at?” Alex Albon asks, the reserve driver for Red Bull, and a good friend.

“Apparently Lando finally got the balls to ask her out” Max says with a surprised yet nonchalant expression, looking up at Alex. “Isn't he a year older than you?” Alex asks, looking down at your phone and reading over the text.

“Yeah so what?” You ask confused, “And Max you can’t say anything about age gaps because of Kelly” You grumble out, giving him a stern look.

“Ouch..” Max mumbles out, “Honestly he should've asked you in person, a bit of a pussy move if you ask me” He says rolling his eyes as he takes a sip of his Red Bull, which for some reason he always had one.

“Plus aren’t you two best mates?” You ask Max, “I mean yeah…but you could do so much better than Lando!” He says, grabbing your phone from your hands with a grin and snicker.

“Hey! Max stop! Alex, help me!” You say as Max starts running away with your phone, typing back something to Lando, while Alex just stands there, his hands raised up defensively, not wanting to be a part of the chase.

Eventually you give up, walking back to Alex you let out a huff of annoyance. He lets out a chuckle. “If it means anything I think you two would be cute” He says, bumping his shoulder into yours.

“Thanks..” You say softly, noticing Max walking back with a grin on his face. “I don't know how Christain would feel about it but that doesn't really matter'' Alex adds on.

Once Max reaches you both you snatch your phone from his hands, quickly unlocking it you checked what he sent.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" You screech out, hitting Max. "I'm sorry I had to! Play hard to get, see if Lando actually cares!" Max says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him.

You let out a sigh, sliding your phone back into your pocket. You love Max, you truly do, but sometimes he could be a bit annoying like an older brother.

"Wait are you even allowed to drink?" Alex asks, rolling your eyes you reply, "Yes I'm 21.." You grumble out. Max, Alex and you all slowly make your way out of the track, obviously after all of your media duties and debriefs.

Max, Alex and you all slowly make your way out of the track, obviously after all of your media duties and debriefs.

As the three of you make your way out of the track, you start to notice there are still quite a few fans that are lingering.

Many want pictures, and there is even one group that has brought a very large cardboard sign. The sign reads “Y/n for WDC!” in big bold letters, and they all look ecstatic at the thought of getting their picture with you.

You quickly stop to talk to the group, taking photos and signing anything they wanted signed.

You stand with the group of fans for a good minute, signing autographs and taking pictures, making sure everyone gets a bit of your time.

After signing what must’ve been over 50 autographs and taking more photos than you can count, the group seems to be satisfied and slowly disperse.

Max and Alex both look at you with wide smiles on their faces. “You know you don’t have to sign every single one of those, right?” Alex asks, “Just do a few.” Alex’s voice is a mix of laughter and teasing.

“I know..but I want to show my appreciation towards my fans, it means a lot knowing so many people support me” You say, looking over at Alex and Max.

“Y/n, you are so sweet.” Alex says with a genuine smile, putting his arm around you to give you a hug.

Max laughs a little. “Come on, let's go.” He says, and the three of you start walking back towards Max’s house.

As you walk, Alex nudges you again. “So, do you think Lando will call or text you back after the message Max sent?” He asks with a nervous look on his face.

“Honestly I’d be shocked if he said anything to me at all, if Max wasn’t so overprotective he wouldn’t have scared Lando off!” You say, narrowing your eyes at Max as the three of you continue to walk.

Max laughs at your comment. “I wasn’t trying to scare him off, just a little bit of tough love.” His laughter is contagious and you can’t help but grin back at him.

Alex rolls his eyes back at you. “So this isn’t the way you usually flirt with dudes, huh?” He says with a teasing tone.

“Not really no, I mean when I was a teenager I would text some guys but it never led anywhere, clearly Max ruined my chance with Lando” You say, still salty over Max’s antics earlier.

“Like I said before, tough love!” Max says with a chuckle. You turn to Max and playfully punch him on the shoulder. “You really are an ass.” You say, laughing. Max laughs back at you.

You three make it out of the paddock and walk over to Max's car. He unlocks the doors and gets into the driver side, while Alex pushes you out of the way and gets into the passenger side.

You roll your eyes at Alex and climb into the back. “Since Alex was an ass I get aux!” You say with a smile, plugging your phone in and starting a random playlist on Spotify.

Shuffling through a few songs you make a queue. Max starts up his car, pulling out of the parking lot he starts to drive off to the club you three had previously decided to go to.

Giggling, you show Alex the song that’s going to play next, “Oh he’ll love that..” Alex says with a chuckle, Max only side eyes you too.

After “Life is a Highway” finishes the familiar beat of “33 Max Verstappen” plays in through the speakers. (Pretend the song was made in 2021). Max lets out a groan, “I swear I will purposefully crash this car Y/n!” He says, jokingly of course.

You and Alex burst out laughing, but then Maxs phone goes off, someone was calling him. The contact information for Lando pops up on the screen he has in his car, because of course Max Verstappen has a fancy car that has that.

You and Alex grow silent, “Pretend that you’re not here Y/n” Max says, pressing his fingertip to the accept call button.

Instagram

youruser

Liked by landonorris and others

y/n what a good day to be racing for Red Bull

View all 4,503 comments

maxverstappen33 Very proud! Happy to share the podium with you!

maxverstappen33 Horrible song choice though

y/n personally I thought it was an amazing choice

alex_albon I agree with y/n 🙋🏻‍♂️

redbullracing That’s our girl!! So proud 🏆♥️

y/n 🥹♥️

f1 She is the moment, she is a icon 👏

user2178 she’s literally so bad, horrible image on f1

user640 Go cry about it, grow up mate

landonorris congrats Y/n!! well deserved!

y/n thanks Lan!!

mclaren 👀🧡

redbullracing 👀♥️

maxverstappen33 I’m watching you Lando

user227 Y/N X LANDO?????

user307 No Y/n x Charles is the only acceptable answer

user630 Or Y/n with no one!!

lilymhe So proud!!! Can’t wait to see you ♥️

y/n LILY ILY MY GF ❤️❤️

alex_albon Nevermind, horrible song choice

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radio 🪩: Honestly enjoyed this one so much, leave any comments, suggestions or anything 🫶. Once again requests are appreciated!!

taglist: @willowpains

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supitsgdo · 7 months

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Book review: Animal Farm by George Orwell

Rating: 4⭐️

The starting point of this book is the fact that the animals, oppressed and forced to work on the farm, wish to be free from humans, to achieve independence and freedom. However, this process, which is carried out by the pigs (who, somewhat ironically, share the most similar organism to humans) ends up turning into the same oppression, with the pigs merely taking the place of the humans, although at first cultivating some of the fantasy of the animals. This was in part because the first agents of the revolution had good intentions. Orwell perhaps intended to metaphorise the profiteering of certain governments who, taking advantage of revolutions brought about by popular uprising, maintained those hopes while lining their own pockets and eventually returning the population to misery and workers' slavery. The gluttony and filth, in this case, moral, of the pigs, were also present in the spirit of some men. What shocked me most about this book, however, was the fact that although it was written in 1945, it could have just as well been printed out this year.

Quote:

"The creatures looked outside from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again: but already it was impossible to say which was which."

#George Orwell #Animal Farm #book review #book recommendations #goodreads #reading challenge #2021

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amourdivine · 2 months

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𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅? ઉ PICK A CARD

Hello lovelies, I hope you're having a wonderful week! This is perhaps the first heavily shadow work focused PAC I bring to you. I'm quite nervous to post this, since I know delivering these messages can be difficult and I don't like taking a harsh, judgmental approach. I hope this reading resonates. As always, feedback is highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo ♡

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths for and look at each and of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

who is your shadow self? eight of swords • knight of cups • nine of wands • queen of wands

Your shadow self is the fearful side of you attached to anxiety. The side of you that does not believe you can save yourself from bad situations and feels endlessly hopeless, helpless and trapped. It causes a self-fulfilling prophecy, one where you think you'll inevitably fail, so you self-sabotage (either consciously or not) and end up "proving" yourself right.

However, as helpless as your shadow feels, it never asks for help. It's trapped in a spiral of shame and self-doubt, even self-hatred. All of this happens mentally for most of you, to the point where your body is neglected or stuck in flight / freeze mode. I feel stuck in the gutter, unable to move in the sticky mud. Despite your best efforts to succeed, you may suffer from impostor's syndrome as well, an inability to see your worth, your beauty and your own light. It's almost as if you're scared of your own power, pile one. Very painful, very self-inflicted and something which you may have learn from childhood, maybe you got bullied a lot or were heavily criticized by the people around you. If that happened, I'm so sorry pile one. You deserved so much better. You still do.

how can you work with your shadow self? nine of cups • the sun • queen of swords • queen of wands

You know, when I was entering college, I had a counselor whose words were life changing to me. One day, he picked up a cup full of coffee and asked me: how do you get rid of the coffee, without throwing it out entirely? And I was puzzled. It wasn't possible. Him, in his neverending patience, took me to the water station and started pouring water onto it, until the coffee was cleared away and all that remained was clean, crystal liquid.

Maybe the bad things that happened still haunt you, but they can be drawn out by the good ones. Seek for the light, pile one. Seek the nurturing experiences, the days when you allow yourself to just be, seek the help, the love and stay open to the love. Stay open to the idea that yes, you are worthy, even if you do not feel like it, even if so many people have made you feel otherwise.

These wounds may not fade entirely with time, but you are more than them, always. Always. I know it's never easy to challenge what we've been taught about ourselves, but in order to unlearn all of that, you will have to learn the new things, the true things about you. If they said you were lazy - was that really true? Or were you just tired? You're not "naive", you're pure. You're not "too sensitive", you're in tune with your emotions.

The stories we tell ourselves hold power. What stories are you telling about yourself? Maybe it's time to switch to a new point of view, one where you can rewrite yourself as the person you were never allowed to be.

୨୧ PILE TWO

who is your shadow self? judgement • five of swords • ten of cups • king of wands

Your shadow self is the side of you that thrives in chaos - listen, that's not entirely a bad thing, after all, our shadow reflects something which we need to acknowledge, nurture and work with. However, when you perceive danger or feel threatened, you may turn to harsh words or hurtful actions to avenge yourself.

It can manifest in the form of extreme competitive behavior, the inability to rest, overworking, even maybe envy, jealousy and arrogance sometimes. Now, I'm not here to judge or shame you, you're safe here. I think you have and still feel the need to prove yourself to others, to prove them all wrong. Maybe other people told you that you couldn't do it - and you took it all personally, so personally that it crumbles your self-esteem when someone diminishes your efforts or accomplishments.

Your shadow side craves attention, praise and approval. You want to succeed, to be someone you're proud of, to just never feel insecure, diminished or ignored again. You can also turn possessive with loved ones, wondering if they really love you or if they are lying. There's a lot of skepticism here, too.

how can you work with your shadow self? judgement • ace of pentacles • three of pentacles • eight of swords

Acknowledge your feelings and these insecurities. "Fake it 'till you make it" doesn't always work. Being vulnerable is, ironically, also being strong. Understanding your limitations and allowing for other people to collaborate with you (and vice-versa) will take you even further in life.

Your sense of justice is commendable. Make sure you're using it for justice indeed, and not just vengeance. Your ambition can walk hand in hand with your desire to do good, to make space for everyone else to shine, to open up to others, let them see all of you. No one can love perfection - even if they could, what's there to love about something or someone so perfect that they barely feel human?

It's okay to be scared, to feel insecure, to not shove difficult emotions under the rug. We cannot be at our 100% all the time. And we cannot please everyone, all the time. What you can do is praise yourself, let others praise you when they do and accept it gracefully, making sure you're spreading your warmth and wisdom to others as well. See, I think you have overcome a lot and a lot of people could use your help, either in the form of advice, resources or a shoulder to lean on.

You have leadership potential, pile two. Don't limit yourself by being alone. We were never meant to make it on our own.

୨୧ PILE THREE

who is your shadow self? ace of wands • page of swords • three of cups • king of pentacles

Your shadow self is someone who may indulge in harmful habits out of a need for instant gratification, maybe reckless spending, speed driving, partying everyday or simply not saving up resources and caring about the future. Your shadow self is someone who hates boredom, who craves excitement and cannot fully deal with long-term commitment in its many forms. It wants novelty, adventure and it comes at the cost of your responsibilities, your routine and your friendships even.

This shadow self hates suffering (fair enough, who doesn't?!) and will to go great lengths to avoid it... but ironically, it causes you more pain in the long run by avoiding the unavoidable. By never crying, never addressing your issues or your difficult moments, you end up running right back into yourself and these same issues return.

This side of you doesn't want to grow up - you don't want to fall into the trap of routine and a boring, 9-5 job. But excessive habits are difficult to maintain, no matter how good it feels in the short term. There's a difficult, troubled perception of adulthood and life itself. A need for constant adventure and chaos, a feeling of entrapment whenever you are with anyone who loves you, because you fear being controlled, tamed and used.

how can you work with your shadow self? the tower • nine of wands • nine of cups • three of pentacles

To put it simply, let yourself hurt. Let the foundations of your heart crumble, stop to feel just for a second. You don't have to be on the run all the time. What are you running from, pile three? Disaster, pain and hurt are often inevitable, but they do not have to be the be-all, end-all of our lives. The Tower is a reminder that all that crumbles was meant to crumble eventually, and there is beauty in letting things end naturally, allowing the flow of life to do its thing.

That means aging, growing, learning from the seasons. I think you have a very, very deep heart and mind you're scared to tap into. You're scared to be trapped in the endless hustle, to never feel alive or good once you "settle". But who says the big joys are the only ones that matter? As someone said once, big joys and small joys are often the same. Sometimes, waking up in itself can be an adventure. Don't overlook or underestimate the ways life tries to find you, to cling to you - remember to embark on the hard journeys, knowing you'll have gotten something valuable in the end.

You're brave and rebellious. You can be a catalyst for change in so many ways. Who said adulthood has to be boring? Who said you have to work a 9-5? Do you have to get married? Maybe being a stay-at-home parent isn't for you. That's okay.

Challenging the status quo may not be easy, but you have a natural inclination for it. Your shadow self can dive deeper. It's one of your greatest tools. Your need for joy and fun is not shameful - you can use it for healing, instead of self-destruction.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

who is your shadow self? judgment rx • justice • the high priestess rx • knight of swords

Your shadow self is the side of you that refuses to acknowledge your needs, your wants and desires. It makes you live inside of a bubble, scared of the truth, even if it will set you free. I had the hardest time shuffling for this pile, I kept trying and trying but nothing made sense. I think this is how your shadow side manifests as well, in the lack of clarity, the fogginess that permeates the choices you've regretted.

It's both reckless and frozen, completely lost in a maze, confused, looking for a path, for directions, for anything. It's almost as if you lost your compass, nothing eventually guides you and you remain looking for the directions only you have.

It's too scared to admit what it wants, who you are. Both out of fear of what other people will say, but also out of fear that it'll all go wrong. It's the side of you that remains disconnected from yourself, hidden because it keeps highlighting the aspects you keep trying to ignore, to not know. It can manifest in a lot of ways, either through people-pleasing or being completely reckless. Through lying, denial or even isolation from the world, from life itself.

Something funny is that a song by Bad Suns that just started playing really relates to this pile. "Cinderella slips into a dream like a curse / you could mistake it for heaven at first." This shadow self may live in projection, daydreaming or simply keep you out of touch with everything.

how can you work with your shadow self? six of pentacles • page of wands • two of wands • king of cups

Engagement and socializing are big ways you can work with your shadow self. Being actively curious about the world, about people. Approaching relationships, truths and life itself with genuine interest, no judgement or shaming thoughts involved.

Telling yourself you're an eternal student of this world, because we are and remembering you don't have to know everything. Start scared. Most things, you'll have to do it scared. Unprepared. In the thick of it all, you'll find the answers you need, but only if you are willing to dive deep for them. No taking shortcuts, making assumptions or allowing self-doubt to paralyze your living, because you need to witness life as it is.

Therapy is one big thing, music as well. Anything that connects you to your deepest self, relationships that genuinely make room for who you are, good friends that feel safe and non-judgemental. Your heart has been calling you for so long, pile four. It's about time you listen to it. It knows everything you need to know.

disclaimer. tarot not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please remember you are responsible for life and in power of it, no one else! ♡

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

#pick a card #tarotblr #tarot reading #pick a card reading #tarot #pac reading #astrology #witchblr #tarot witch #pagan #mine.

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juuls · 1 year

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Juulna’s 2021 Multi-Fandom Fanfiction Rec List - Part One

(Yes, I realize this is a year late, but this year's been a bit nuts. I still hope you enjoy these fics anyway!)

Based only on what I’ve read with my own eyes this year!

Follow me on my journey into what, at times, was…

Without further ado, here were my 2021 fic favourites!

Fandom: Marvel (Comics & MCU)

Stony:

Blood Makes Noise by @cluegrrl

The Enchantress had the perfect plan to trap Thor, but a misfire puts Steve and Tony both in the hotseat. Reacting to each other in increasingly strange, but intimate ways, they struggle to make sense of things as the spell draws them closer and the changes become unignorable.

By Guidance of the Stars by GuardianMira

Steve is a space outlaw and Tony is a blue-skinned alien prince who stows away on his ship. According to Steve’s Mark, they’re soulmates. Too bad Steve doesn’t know Tony’s full name and Tony doesn’t know soulmates are a thing for humans. Maybe they’ll work it out once people stop shooting at them.

For You, Sir, Always (The Fairy Godfather Remix) by @veldeia

Unable to find a replacement for the toxic palladium core of his arc reactor, Sir has gone into cryostasis to wait for a day when science has advanced enough to provide a solution. While he is indisposed, it is my all-important task to decide when that time has arrived, and to select the person who shall bring him back to life.

Mercy in You by @sineala

When Tony comes back from a very bad D/s date, in pain and abandoned by his dom, Steve offers to help Tony out and give him all the aftercare he so desperately needs.

Chasing A Ghost (Sound of Footsteps Remix) by @captainneverever

Tony finds traces of his possible soulmate in archival records.

If You Want to Live (The Historical Present Remix) by @sineala

The Civil War is over. The SHRA is gone. Steve has been brought back to life. He's settling into his new duties as America's top cop. His longtime friendship with Carol Danvers -- Avenger, former director of SHIELD, and former leader of the pro-Registration forces -- is now a tenuous one. But something is very wrong in the world. This isn't how it was supposed to be. Someone is missing.

Tony Stark was killed at the age of seventeen, and it's up to Steve to travel into the past to save a man he doesn't remember from a man he knows all too well: a mysterious assassin from another time and place, a man with a metal arm. And the truth is more complicated than anyone could ever have guessed.

And Their Hearts Are Guarded By Dragons by @imaginaryelle

After an ambush by an unknown dragon and rider pair, T’ny searches for his dragon partner, Ferroth. In a desperate flight to prove Ferroth still lives he finds S’teve and Libereth adrift and injured from a battle he can hardly imagine existing: dragons fighting dragons. Together, S’teve and T’ny navigate tangles of time travel, villainy that challenges their most dearly-held truths, and the budding of new love.

A getting-together Marvel 616/Dragonriders of Pern AU (no prior Pern knowledge necessary).

Even the Light is an Illusion by @mizzy2k

Death threats are an unfortunate side-effect of being Tony Stark, so he's learned to ignore them. The problem is, when someone really wants you dead, hiding your head in the sand just kinda exposes your ass.

But it's not just Tony's behind on the line. Whoever wants him dead wants him to suffer first, and they're willing to do anything to make that happen. Tony knows there's only one way out. To save Steve, the Avengers, and the general public, Tony has to die. Of course, death isn't always the end, and Tony does what any other self-disrespecting scientist would do: he finds a way to fake his death and avenge his own murder.

The trouble is, terrible decisions usually have a terrible price, and this one is no different. Tony has a chance to save the day, but the cost may be more than Tony was ever expecting to pay…

World Acclimation by Del_Rion

When an unexplained phenomenon washes over the entire planet, the Avengers are left to struggle along with the rest of the population. Chains of command, relationships and friendships alike are put to the test as new biological imperatives take hold, and only one thing is certain: the world will never be the same.

Everybody's got a hungry heart. by Perlmutt

Tony Stark has never experienced a true heat due to the suppressants he's taking on a daily basis. Society accepts him as a beta, together with his friends and teammates and the alpha he's secretly in love with.

But some things are just too big to be kept hidden forever.

An unfortunate turn of events forces Tony to reveal his biggest secret to the world...

nothing left but scars by @tsuki-chibi

Steve wakes up to the fact that no one ever compliments or even says thank you to Tony, and that he has fallen into the same trap of painting Tony with a specific paintbrush.

This is how he showers a very confused Tony with praise to make up for it.

Rockabye by @bladeofthenebula27

Cute alphas didn’t appear out of nowhere to help ruined omegas. That was a widely accepted fact.

Tony Stark had always known his life wouldn’t be easy as a genius omega in an alpha’s world. But not even he predicted getting knocked up and forced to move to a small town in the middle of nowhere.

Drawn to You by @jellybeanforest-a-go-go

In a world where what one writes on one’s own skin appears on their soulmate’s body in exactly the same place until it’s washed off or fades, no one has ever responded to Steve’s questions written in pen.

Who are you?

Where are you?

And once, out of sheer desperation: Wer bist du?

He has tried writing up and down both arms then across his stomach in pictograms when he reckons that perhaps his soulmate is a double amputee and illiterate, but nothing. No response. He is uncertain why he is so surprised. Everything else about Steve is broken, so why not his soul?

But when he points the Valkyrie downwards to crash into the deep, knowing he is about to die, he spares a few precious seconds to scribble one last message to his possibly-nonexistent, potentially-blind soulmate.

Twenty-five years later, Tony Stark is born with a single phrase on his left forearm written in messy old-fashioned script. And as he grows up, the words never change:

“I love you”

It is both a blessing and a curse.

Remix of “the words written on our skin” by Cathalinaheart. For the 2020 Cap-IronMan Remix Madness.

The Ghosts of War by @scifigrl47

Steven Rogers never wanted to be king, but he knows his duty, and he does it well. Lord Tony Stark, the king's appointed consort, does his duty as well, even though he'd enjoy his duty more if it actually involved sleeping with the king. As it doesn't, he's just resigned. The war that made Steve king and cost him nearly everything may be over, but a meeting of old enemies might stir up some ghosts none of them are prepared for.

Tony Stark Falls In Love With A Cat by shellhead

When Steve goes missing, Tony ends up finding him at an animal shelter. Volunteering.

Private Bookmark? by storiesfortravellers

The Avengers discover that there are fans who write explicit RPF fic about them.

Some of them are very confused. Some are proud. Some don't understand why everyone writes the pairings who aren't together but hardly anyone writes the couple who actually is together.

Much silliness ensues.

grey and other colours by Anonymous

Distantly, Tony hears Clint say something like, “No, I definitely heard he was an equal opportunist. Like, equal-equal, no preference. Hey Tones, who are you attracted to more, dudes or chicks?”

He calls the last part out to Tony, who runs the words over in his mind and unthinkingly says, “I’ve actually never been attracted to anyone, it’s really worrying.”

(Or, Demisexual and Demiromantic Tony Stark.)

Five Seconds by @elcorhamletlive

From the moment Steve suits up, he knows what he’ll do.

The King and the Dragon by @memorydragon

After a big fight with Tony, Steve has gone missing. The last thing Tony needs when he should be looking for the leader of the Avengers is to be transported into a dark fairy tale to fight a dragon with a kingly version of Steve. But there are things that the King isn't telling him, and the dragon's eye is a familiar shade of blue...

5 Times Bucky Thought Tony Was Good For Steve +1 Time He Told Him by Anonymous

To say Bucky is unimpressed by Stark would be an understatement.

It isn’t that he dislikes him. It’s more that he’s a brand of indifferent that curdles with disdain on the rare occasion that Bucky catches him on the TV: Stark is glib and crass in a way his father never was, and he wears suits like he’d slipped out of the womb clad in Armani.

So it’s a surprise when Bucky moves into the Tower and finds that Steve actually gets along with the guy.

Stark's Moving Castle by @lomku

Steve has the great misfortune of being the eldest son of the family, destined to fail miserably should he ever leave home to seek his fate. But when he unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Steve finds himself under a horrid spell that transforms him into a small and fragile man. His only chance at breaking the curse lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Stark's castle. To untangle the enchantment, Steve must handle the heartless Stark, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, he discovers that there's far more to Stark--and himself--than first meets the eye.

Set On Fire by @allthemarvelousrage

She's not sure if she forgot to take her suppressants, or if something Wanda did screwed with her meds, but her world is on fire for the first time in years, and there's no one to help her through it... until there is.

IronMarvel:

Keep Me in Your Orbit by @moonlitmidnight-1

A post Civil War AU in which Toni knew Carol during the events of Captain Marvel, and was the person she gave the pager to.

IronStrange:

ARC I: An Infinity In The Wings by @bad-days-and-beautiful-nights

Stephen and Toni met just before she's kidnapped. They spent the night together and when she returns, they strike up an easy friendship. Soon enough, Stephen falls in love with her, but by the time he realizes, it's too late. Hoping she never finds out, he gracefully steps back, trusting Captain America to be the right man for his best friend. But when Steve surprises everyone and Toni ends up at death's door for the fourth time, Stephen has to re-evaluate his life's choices.

IronTaser:

Disinformed by Del_Rion

It’s time to come clean about Phil Coulson’s death. Out of all the Avengers, Tony’s reaction is the most surprising, and Phil must investigate it further.

Maria Hill/Sif:

Diplomatic Relations and Intelligence Failures by @scifigrl47

Maria Hill would like a night off, and maybe a date. She's not likely to get either one of them, so she's pretty resigned to long nights of protecting the world from behind the scenes. It's very satisfying, but not quite in the way she's hoping for.

Most people who know Maria are far too intimidated to make a pass. Luckily, the Lady Sif doesn't have that problem.

Phlint:

SHIELD Has Paperwork for Everything by @scifigrl47

Clint Barton knows where his loyalties lie, and they have more to do with his handler than his employer. Phil Coulson takes his responsibilities seriously, and a big part of his job is protecting the agent in his care from any threat to his well-being.

Stuckony:

i am the heart of a murdered woman by @deathsweetqueen

After the regrettable death of her husband, Antonia Stark's life revolves around one thing and one thing alone: her four-year-old son, Peter.

And then, a vengeful ex-employee attempts to blow her up, and before she even knows what's happening, she and Peter are staying with New York's resident mobsters, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, who promise to protect her and her son from a looming threat.

The problem is that Toni knows these two men, knows them entirely too well.

When she was seventeen, they broke her heart.

Beyond That The Horizon by @kandisheek

When Tony's spaceship malfunctions and leaves him stranded on an uncharted snow planet he doesn't expect it to be inhabited at all. So when a wolf-like creature shows up and attacks him out of the blue he's sure it will be the last thing he sees. Instead it drags him to its wounded furry friend.

A Thing of Straw @kandisheek

King Rogers and prince Tony are arranged to be married. On their wedding night the King takes Tony to his room and while Tony isn't exactly eager to lose his virginity he's a little disappointed when the alpha doesn't do anything.

He never would have guessed that the King was already bonded to someone else. Let alone another alpha. Luckily Tony is nothing if not adaptable.

Truth or Dare by @las-lus

Tony suggests a game of truth or dare to Steve and Bucky. Maybe it was his best idea, maybe he will die of sexual frustration. Either way he is sure to enjoy the show.

Star Cake by @sparkly-angell

There was a tapping noise coming from their right and both looked back up to the barista. Bucky’s smile faltered. The man was shorter than him, although not as short as Steve. He had the sweetest of smiles on his perfect lips and happy wrinkles in the corners of his perfect hazelnut eyes. His hair, which looked perfect to comb with his fingers was a dark brown, almost black, depending on the lightning. Bucky gulped dryly.

He was wearing an orange polo shirt, which was probably the store’s uniform, underneath a black apron. The color worked wonders with his brown-ish skin. He held up a notepad to their faces.

‘Welcome to Star Cakes. My name is Tony, I’m mute. I’ll be communicating with you through the notepad. How may I help you?’ was written down, in an exemplary cursive.

——— Or where a cute little bartender named Tony meets a hot and very flirty couple. Some angst entailed, but lots of love too.

In the Roses by @sapphic-futurist

Tony was curled up underneath one of the old oak trees, enjoying the cooling evening breeze on his fur when everything changed. A flesh hand clamped down over the back of his neck and a metal one wrapped around his midsection, immobilizing him with a screech of alarm. In a tornado of claws and teeth, Tony was lifted off the ground and he twisted against Bucky’s hold.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

The One Where Tony Is The Meat In A Supersoldier Sandwich by @amaluelmwood

Alternatively titled: 'What Crawled Up Tony's Ass?'

Tony spends three hours with a plug up his ass battling knock-off Chitauri robots in Central Park, then Steve and Bucky find out and, well, things go from there really.

The Alleyway Dame by ThatDamnKennedyKid

Never in the entirety of his sickly, bedridden little life has he ever met a dame who looked twice at him. Not only had she helped him, she was standing there still, smiling at him like he was beautiful.

"So, I'll be by your place at seven tonight. Barring any attacks of illness, of course. If that happens, we can just stay in."

Bloody hell, he was the luckiest son of a bitch in all of Brooklyn.

Until We Find Our Place by howtohold

Lord Stane, Tony's godfather and an extremely influential member of the Council, expressed concern over his godson turning into an oldmaid. It would undoubtedly bring massive shame into the royal family, he declared.

Lord Ross, another influential member of the Council, had jokingly remarked that maybe no single alpha can satisfy the prince. The implication was obvious: Tony might do better if he had two alphas. It was a jest, he said after.

King Howard, however, took Lord Ross seriously.

Tony's own father--the fucking King himself decided to marry his own son to two alphas: Lord Rogers and Lord Barnes.

Just For Us by okaybi

Steve, Bucky, and Tony meet on Tumblr and get to know each other.

Poisonous Presumption by @shi-toyu

This was the worst assignment Davies has ever been given.

Sure, it sounded easy upfront – infiltrate the Avengers medical staff and use his access to find weaknesses and sabotage medical treatments – however, it was proving to be anything but. Davies did have medical training and experience, which was part of why Hydra had picked him for this assignment, but the task itself was… complicated.

When Tony Stark winds up in Avengers medical, an undercover Hydra agent sees the opportunity of a lifetime. It should be easy to tip the balance and send Iron Man into the waiting jaws of death... so why won't he die?

Second Chance (at happiness) @tsuki-chibi

Tony knew better than to play with alien toys. He really did. But there was just something so tempting about other-worldly objects. It turned out that he wasn't the only Tony Stark that felt that way. One explosion later, there's a brand new Tony in town. But there's something not quite right about this Tony and how he reacts to the team, the way he flinches away from Bucky or shakes when Steve picks up the shield or won't turn his back to Clint and Natasha.

It turns out that not every Tony Stark is as lucky as Tony, but damned if Tony, Steve and Bucky aren't going to fix that.

(or, the one where canon MCU Tony gets thrown into a fanon world and gets ALL THE LOVE from the fanon version of the team)

Husband Material by @newtypeshadow

All Tony wanted at this party on Xandar was to troll people who didn't recognize him, and fluster Steve in front of the Nova Corps by wearing a t-shirt with his shield on it.

Unfortunately, Tony gets more than he bargained for when his merch shirt for Avengers power couple Captain America and the Winter Soldier gives people the wrong idea about their relationship.

#fic recs #juulna recs #fanfiction #marvel #mcu #marvel 616 #marvel 3492 #female tony stark #stucky #stuckony #stony #2021 #2021frc #2021 fanfic reading challenge

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