Un día cualquiera en la mansión
Personajes: Tori (de Doi), Victor, Wick, menciones de Kaie (de Evan) y Eli.
Resumen: Tori recibe una carta de su cartero favorito.
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Este había sido un día verdaderamente largo para la retraída profesora. Después de un match con Kaie se encontraba exhausta, su estudiante no tardó nada en aprovechar que el hunter era Joseph para burlarse de ella y hacerle la vida imposible.
Así que ahora se encontraba de camino a su habitación, no quería encontrarse con nadie, necesitaba un merecido descanso emocional y físico. Distraída con ese pensamiento no se dio cuenta hasta llegar a su puerta de que Wick se encontraba guardándola. El perro al verla camino para acercarse a ella y entregarle una carta que traía en la boca.
- Oh! ¿Es para mí?- pregunto al perro mientras le tomaba la misiva
Se podía leer en el remitente que esta era una carta que le había escrito Víctor a Tori. Es algo conocido por todos, lo mucho que le costaban las conversaciones cara a cara al muchacho, por eso no le extraño recibir correspondencia de su parte, aunque eso no evito que se pusiese un poco ansiosa por saber el contenido de la misma. Dejó entrar a Wick en su habitación ya que no parecía querer despegarse de ella y se acomodó en su cama para leer la carta. El perro saltó para subir y acurrucarse en sus piernas.
El contenido de la carta no eran más que trivialidades, cosas que le habían sucedido en el día al muchacho, anécdotas de antes...y aun así… cada oración en aquella carta parecía estremecer el corazón de la profesora. Mejillas sonrosadas y pequeñas sonrisas se le escapaban sin siquiera notarlo a medida que iba leyendo cada párrafo. Parecía mágico, como el cartero con tan solo un par de palabras le había hecho olvidar por completo aquel nefasto día.
Al terminar de releer la carta por segunda vez la dejo a un lado aun con una suave sonrisa en la comisura de sus labios, acomodo al canino y se dispuso a irse a dormir. Esa noche Tori se fue a la cama con una sensación extraña pero agradable en el estómago que le hizo conciliar rápido el sueño y entregarse a los brazos de Morfeo (el primo soñador de Orpheus).
Ya el tipo de sueño que tuvo se lo dejamos a elección de la reina Doi (guiño guiño nyehehehe). Por la mañana la despertó el ruido de su puerta. Al otro lado se encontraba Eli, esto lo supo rápidamente porque pudo escuchar claramente su agradable voz diciéndole.
- ¿Buenos días preciosa, preparada para el match de hoy?
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24.11.21
Ich will es nicht zugeben,
Aber ich bin einsam ohne dich.
Ich wäre gern alleine stark,
Immer nicht nur selten .
Ich will Autonomie
Und keine Depression.
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23.06.22
It has been quite a while since I made a post on here. I’ve been wanting to for a few weeks but kept getting overwhelmed by how much has happened and where to begin.
For this reason I’ve decided to share in dot point form
03.06.21 We began Cycle 3 of IVF at our new clinic. I felt confident going into this one as the new specialist was the right fit for us in both her expertise and patient manner. I also felt that we had a chance of getting more viable embryos because we had one in round 2. 8 eggs were collected, 4 top quality embryos were made and we waited for our PGD results.
26.06.21 we did a 7 hour round trip to pick up our puppy Kevin
02.07.21 I arranged for the result to be communicated to my partner as I was on placement and didn’t want to burst into tears if we got bad news. He got the call and despite me calling and texting him throughout the day, he would not give me any information. That was information enough.
When I called after placement he told me that none of the embryos were chromosomally normal. I cried the whole 1 hour car drive home.
-Our specialist was shocked. We were absolutely devastated.
-I had just started my Alcohol and Other Drugs 2 month placement on top of a team leader secondment in my current job and committed to the sleep, toilet and general training a puppy requires
I threw myself into work and puppy training, meaning I neglected any processing, self-care or healing from the trauma we’d just experienced.
06.08.21 I celebrated my 29th birthday at placement and in another Melbourne lockdown meaning I couldn’t distract myself with friends or social commitments.
-A few days after my birthday I had a really bad headache and neck pain
-After a week of doctor appointments, a CT scan and a hospital day admission I was diagnosed with Shingles behind my ear and spreading up my scalp. A migraine accompanied this
-Mid August I put placement on hold and applied for a new job which I was successful in getting
30.08.21 I started my new job and a week later had a bit of a scare when I got another migraine and lost my ability to speak temporarily. An ambulance was called by my partner and I was diagnosed with “atypical migraine” and discharged. Continual migraines with similar vagueness, pain and aura followed me until February 2022 (shingles and stress were suggested as the main culprit).
15.11.21 had an appointment with an “Uterus Didelphys” specialist who asked me if we’d considered “being childless.” I cried on my way to the car, in the car and when I got home
24.11.21 we moved into our dream house and decided we definitely wouldn’t be doing any more rounds of IVF until 2022.
January 22 Had an epiphany that if we want what is best for our kids as parents, how could I put our kids through inheriting my chromosome issues. Despite my partner being willing to continue with my eggs, I decided that using an egg donor would be our next step forward. He came around to the idea and I asked a friend who had offered her eggs previously if she was still interested and she said yes.
IVF was closed down in Melbourne due to pressure on hospitals and it being an ‘elective’ surgery *eye roll
11.03.22 Accounts session to discuss the costs associated with a donor cycle
16.03.22 First mandatory IVF donor counselling session
22.03.22 Joined telehealth consultation with a nurse and our donor to discuss the process
30.03.22 Second joined mandatory counselling session with myself, my partner, our donor and her partner to determine we were all on the same page and raise any questions or concerns
31.03.22 My partner was diagnosed as having an ‘active case’ of CMV which is dangerous in pregnancy. Our IVF specialist told us she had never seen this happen before! Alas, IVF Cycle 4 postponed for 6 weeks until virus cleared from both of us (it was assumed I would contract it from him).
11.05.22 Found out through repeated blood tests that my partner never had CMV (false positive on the test) and our cycle was postponed for no reason. Given the all clear to go ahead at the start of our donor’s next period.
21.05.22 Our 4th Cycle of IVF begins and all precautions are taken to avoid covid-19 postponing our cycle again
03.06.22 Eggs are collected from our donor and fertilised. A few days later we find out that 7 eggs had fertilised and a few more days after that, 2 embryos had made it to the freezing stage.
23.06.22 As I write this today I’m waiting for my period to start so our transfer cycle begins. We have 2 embryos, that is 2 chances of a pregnancy. Each transfer has a 50% chance of resulting in a positive pregnancy test.
In a few weeks I’ll have a scan to check my uterus lining and have a blood test around my predicted ovulation date to time the transfer. I’m guessing it will be around July 18th but that will depend on if my period arrives soon.
My feelings towards transfer fluctuate. Some days I’m overly positive and some days I feel like it’s never going to work for us because it hasn’t yet. At this moment, I feel premenstrually grumpy and exhausted. I’ve eaten half a bag of salt and vinegar chips, have pimples galore on my chin and can’t wait to lie on the couch with my current read - Jasper Jones by Craig SIlvey.
I want to make more of an effort to record my musings and appointments on here as it’s the only place I’ve been somewhat consistent over the past few years (a part from Instagram). I don’t care if tumblr has the reputation of an outdated teenage blog site. It’s the easiest one for my non coding brain to navigate.
Thanks for reading x
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Pazartesi sınavdan sonra evime döndüm. İlk kez bir yolculuğu kendim yaptım. Üstelik bu ilk deneyimim hep yapmak istediğim gibi trenleydi. Tuhaf ama sanki ben hep bu yolculuğu yapıyormuşum gibi hissettim. Zaten uzun zamandır her şey böyle. Eskiden her şeyden heyecanlanan Beyza artık her şeye sıradanmış gibi bakmaya başladı. Yani sanki ilk kez yaptığım şeyler hep yaptığım rutin şeylermiş gibi geliyor. Yine de tamamen duygularımı kaybettiğimi düşünmüyorum. İçimde birikiyor her şey ve küçük bir dokunmada hepsi dökülüyor. Böyle olmasını istemiyorum her şey o anda olsun, lütfen, o anda hissedeyim tüm duygu zerrelerini. Sonra nefesim kesiliyor en basit şeyde ağlıyor oluyorum. Böyle böyle evrilip gidiyorum.
Olmak istediğim kişi gibiyim ama aynı zamanda fazla ileriye gitmişim gibi..
Yine de şu gün batımı hâlâ çılgıncasına kalbimi hızlandırıyor, kendimi masalda gibi hissediyorum. 🌞
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