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#30.08.21
sleepsucks · 2 years
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alifila · 2 years
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Niyə açılmır məzarlar biz ziyarətə gedəndə? Niyə girib o çuxura uzana bilmirik o qalan tək əllə tutula bilər şey olan sümüklərin üstünə 5 dəqiqə də olsa? Niyə məhkum edilirik xatirələrə, xatirələrlə yaşamağa? Daha neçə gün gözümüzün qarşısına ya bir daha gəlməzlərsə deyə narahat olacıq? Daha neçə günümüz qulaqlarımızdan səslərinin silinməsinin qorxusuyla keçəcək? Daha nə qədər yarım keçəcək ömrümüz? Dünyada neçə insan var sayım dedim hansı ki, verib səni qaytarmaq üçün, saydım. Hər kəs çıxdı cavab.
30.08.21
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23.06.22
It has been quite a while since I made a post on here. I’ve been wanting to for a few weeks but kept getting overwhelmed by how much has happened and where to begin. 
For this reason I’ve decided to share in dot point form
03.06.21 We began Cycle 3 of IVF at our new clinic. I felt confident going into this one as the new specialist was the right fit for us in both her expertise and patient manner. I also felt that we had a chance of getting more viable embryos because we had one in round 2. 8 eggs were collected, 4 top quality embryos were made and we waited for our PGD results.
26.06.21 we did a 7 hour round trip to pick up our puppy Kevin
02.07.21 I arranged for the result to be communicated to my partner as I was on placement and didn’t want to burst into tears if we got bad news. He got the call and despite me calling and texting him throughout the day, he would not give me any information. That was information enough.
When I called after placement he told me that none of the embryos were chromosomally normal. I cried the whole 1 hour car drive home.
-Our specialist was shocked. We were absolutely devastated.
-I had just started my Alcohol and Other Drugs 2 month placement on top of a team leader secondment in my current job and committed to the sleep, toilet and general training a puppy requires
I threw myself into work and puppy training, meaning I neglected any  processing, self-care or healing from the trauma we’d just experienced.
06.08.21 I celebrated my 29th birthday at placement and in another Melbourne lockdown meaning I couldn’t distract myself with friends or social commitments. 
-A few days after my birthday I had a really bad headache and neck pain
-After a week of doctor appointments, a CT scan and a hospital day admission I was diagnosed with Shingles behind my ear and spreading up my scalp. A migraine accompanied this 
-Mid August I put placement on hold and applied for a new job which I was successful in getting
30.08.21 I started my new job and a week later had a bit of a scare when I got another migraine and lost my ability to speak temporarily. An ambulance was called by my partner and I was diagnosed with “atypical migraine” and discharged. Continual migraines with similar vagueness, pain and aura followed me until February 2022 (shingles and stress were suggested as the main culprit).
15.11.21 had an appointment with an “Uterus Didelphys” specialist who asked me if we’d considered “being childless.” I cried on my way to the car, in the car and when I got home
24.11.21 we moved into our dream house and decided we definitely wouldn’t be doing any more rounds of IVF until 2022. 
January 22 Had an epiphany that if we want what is best for our kids as parents, how could I put our kids through inheriting my chromosome issues. Despite my partner being willing to continue with my eggs, I decided that using an egg donor would be our next step forward. He came around to the idea and I asked a friend who had offered her eggs previously if she was still interested and she said yes.
IVF was closed down in Melbourne due to pressure on hospitals and it being an ‘elective’ surgery *eye roll
11.03.22 Accounts session to discuss the costs associated with a donor cycle
16.03.22 First mandatory IVF donor counselling session 
22.03.22 Joined telehealth consultation with a nurse and our donor to discuss the process
30.03.22 Second joined mandatory counselling session with myself, my partner, our donor and her partner to determine we were all on the same page and raise any questions or concerns
31.03.22 My partner was diagnosed as having an ‘active case’ of CMV which is dangerous in pregnancy. Our IVF specialist told us she had never seen this happen before! Alas, IVF Cycle 4 postponed for 6 weeks until virus cleared from both of us (it was assumed I would contract it from him).
11.05.22 Found out through repeated blood tests that my partner never had CMV (false positive on the test) and our cycle was postponed for no reason. Given the all clear to go ahead at the start of our donor’s next period.
21.05.22 Our 4th Cycle of IVF begins and all precautions are taken to avoid covid-19 postponing our cycle again
03.06.22 Eggs are collected from our donor and fertilised. A few days later we find out that 7 eggs had fertilised and a few more days after that, 2 embryos had made it to the freezing stage. 
23.06.22 As I write this today I’m waiting for my period to start so our transfer cycle begins. We have 2 embryos, that is 2 chances of a pregnancy. Each transfer has a 50% chance of resulting in a positive pregnancy test. 
In a few weeks I’ll have a scan to check my uterus lining and have a blood test around my predicted ovulation date to time the transfer. I’m guessing it will be around July 18th but that will depend on if my period arrives soon.
My feelings towards transfer fluctuate. Some days I’m overly positive and some days I feel like it’s never going to work for us because it hasn’t yet. At this moment, I feel premenstrually grumpy and exhausted. I’ve eaten half a bag of salt and vinegar chips, have pimples galore on my chin and can’t wait to lie on the couch with my current read - Jasper Jones by Craig SIlvey. 
I want to make more of an effort to record my musings and appointments on here as it’s the only place I’ve been somewhat consistent over the past few years (a part from Instagram). I don’t care if tumblr has the reputation of an outdated teenage blog site. It’s the easiest one for my non coding brain to navigate.
Thanks for reading x
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2tiedships2 · 3 years
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28.
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louisshomesharry · 3 years
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The away from home festival: louis singing through the dark (30.08.21)
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dreamings-free · 3 years
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what is that shirt.. 🧐
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28 official programme ???
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Şimdi anlat bana hangi cümlenin kurşunu deldi geçti yüreğini, hangi kelimenin kurbanısın? Kaçıncı sayfaya gömüldün üzerine kaç kitap kapandı?
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gokyuklu · 3 years
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"Insan bazen geç kalmışlıklarının yasını tutmak ve kaktüs yetiştirmek tedavisinden ibaret" 🌵♡
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draqe · 3 years
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ani çıkışlar*
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dailywithtaylor · 3 years
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Taylor supporting Halsey's album
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neilirving73 · 3 years
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Wonderful Wirral, Vlog 30.08.21
Please give a thumbs up (like) and subscribe to my YouTube channel
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View On WordPress
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emmerdalewardrobe · 3 years
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Victoria Sugden - 30th August 2021
Scallop Neck Ponte Top in Navy £42.00 from Warehouse
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ijustwishyouwould · 3 years
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i have corona u guys, i love life
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As vezes achamos injusto que o tempo passe tão rápido, as vezes só queremos que o tempo, passe. No meio disso tudo minha dor pareceu palpável. Mas só ao tentar toca-la, percebi o vazio que você deixou.
JHohl
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2tiedships2 · 3 years
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The Away From Home Festival
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louisshomesharry · 3 years
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The Away from home festival: louis during defenceless (30.08.21)
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