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pesterloglog · 5 months

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Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4454-4459

timaeusTestified [TT] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 1:43

TT: I should probably warn you.

GG: About what?

GG: Yet another exploding game trap?

TT: Well shit.

TT: She already sent it?

GG: Yes.

GG: But to be fair, she warned me not to run it.

TT: That's weird.

GG: Why?

GG: She was probably just trying to protect me from the Batterwitch's latest assassination attempt.

GG: Sheesh, I can't believe you all finally got me saying "Batterwitch" too. Who would have thought?

TT: No, it's weird because Lalonde was the one who rigged it to explode.

TT: It's a bogus copy she coded herself. The real game file she downloaded is totally legit.

GG: What? Really?

TT: Got it right here myself. Checked it out.

TT: File's fuckin' clean as a whistle.

TT: A whistle that overcame a major substance abuse problem. Trying to get its life back on track.

TT: The whistle is holding down a steady job now. It's taking things one day at a time.

TT: Eat a fuckin' dinner off that whistle.

GG: ...

TT: Ok I'll shut up.

GG: Why would she do that?

TT: To accomplish exactly what it sounds like got accomplished.

TT: You narrowly averting the "fake" threat to your life, then getting your shit all hot and bothered at the Baroness over it.

TT: Then you abdicate your heiress throne or something, and give up on this game as a big fuck you to the genocidal cake alien.

GG: But...

GG: If she felt so strongly that I shouldn't play, she could have told me.

GG: Or, told me more forcefully, I guess. I would have listened!

GG: Maybe.

GG: :(

TT: She's working through some problems right now.

TT: Really doesn't want us to play that game.

TT: So I guess this was the insane stunt she whipped up to derail the inevitable.

TT: Kinda reckless for my tastes.

TT: One of the above statements is a fucking lie, are you gutsy enough a gumshoe to spot it.

GG: Maybe she was justified in taking such an extreme measure. I sure hadn't been taking her seriously.

GG: She even warned me not to play it until she got back, but I went ahead anyway because I was too impatient!

GG: Actually...

GG: Now that I think about it, she was probably going to disarm it or such when she got back, seeing as her objective had essentially been accomplished already by an ACTUAL assassination attempt.

GG: After that, I told her I would believe her about everything.

GG: That probably made her feel guilty about setting me up, so she told me not to touch the file until she returned.

TT: Sounds about right.

GG: But then I went ahead and ran it anyway like a doofus.

GG: I think she just wanted to be believed.

GG: Shucks.

GG: Am I an awful friend?

TT: Nope.

GG: I'm not so sure about that.

TT: Well, before you go taking a massive sad crap all over your friendship credentials, consider this.

TT: Only she could manage to blow up your computer with a nasty deathloop virus and somehow make YOU be the one to feel shitty about it.

GG: Heh!

GG: You're right.

TT: Or maybe you're the one who uniquely fills the predicate in that construction.

TT: I don't god damn know.

TT: Your friendship with her is a half drunken three-legged relay race, and the baton is a stick of dynamite.

TT: And you two are the only ones on the track. Me and English are watching from under the bleachers, high-fiving constantly.

GG: I guess that's a pretty apt metaphor, even though it doesn't make the slightest bit of sense.

TT: Yes.

GG: I just wanted to start playing the game so badly!

GG: Now more than ever. I have reason to believe the stakes have increased dramatically.

TT: They have.

TT: And they will continue to.

GG: I think our dream counterparts are all marked for death, and if we are to stand a chance, we must move quickly.

TT: I agree.

TT: Just heard about your assassination on Prospit.

GG: Oh, she told you already?

TT: Who, RL? No.

TT: I read it in a newspaper.

GG: Um.

GG: Are you being ironic again?

TT: No.

TT: I just picked up one of the sleazy Dersite tabloid rags.

TT: Sometimes they'll feature some pretty entertaining gossip about the royalty or whatever.

TT: But they're primarily dedicated to smearing Prospit. The press had a field day with the deaths of the Page and the Maid.

GG: Dersite? You mean the other planet? The evil one?

TT: Derse, yeah.

TT: Not evil, necessarily. That's a bit simplistic. The kingdom represents the forces of opposition to Prospit and the four heroes. Us.

GG: What did the story say about me?

TT: "DEAD"

TT: Was the big ass headline.

TT: Then a photo of your dead body lying there, followed by a lot of bullshit slander.

TT: It was also reported your tower exploded. They couldn't find the body to give it a proper funeral. Probably incinerated.

GG: I didn't realize you had woken up in the game already.

GG: When did that happen?

TT: Dunno. Years ago. Don't really recall.

GG: I guess I shouldn't act surprised you didn't tell me. What with all your highfalutin secrecy.

TT: It's hard to explain.

TT: I was never technically asleep there. I was awake without realizing it.

TT: Then I realized it.

TT: And I sorta learned how to be awake there while awake here too.

TT: I am awake there now, albeit pretending to sleep.

GG: Pretending? Why?

TT: For one thing, it gets a bit distracting managing two alert bodies in different places at the same time.

TT: And for another thing, it's better to maintain appearances.

TT: Everyone on Derse believes their heroes haven't woken yet.

TT: Though they are both rumored to be very active sleep walkers.

TT: Which is half true. She can't ever seem to sleep still. Goes off wandering for days.

TT: Sometimes I've gotta go round her up from some godforsaken cranny of the abyss. Drag her tipsy ass home, tuck her back in.

TT: Maybe I'll chain her leg to the bed if she doesn't wake up soon.

TT: Though in light of the recent assassinations, her slumbering attraction to the void probably works to her advantage. No one ever knows where she is.

GG: I'm still not sure I'm following.

GG: Why are you maintaining the appearance of being asleep? On Prospit, it seemed as if the people there regarded me and Jake very highly. Like celebrated figures.

GG: Is it not the same way on Derse?

TT: No, it's essentially the same situation here.

TT: They glorify us the same way. Almost like we're their purple pajama'd team mascots. Even though they will completely oppose our objective when all is said and done.

TT: Kinda ridiculous, really.

TT: But even so, I think it's better to lay low, not alert anyone to my...

TT: Alertness. 😎

TT: That way I can sneak around and gather information. Do some reconnaissance before shit starts getting real.

GG: In other words, read newspapers, get a feel for "the word on the street," and such?

GG: As might a detective? :B

TT: Yeah, among other things. Like keep an eye on agent activity.

GG: You mean... secret agents??

TT: No, more like high ranking officials.

TT: Judging from your knife wound, I'm betting you were the victim of the Archagent himself.

TT: You should feel honored, I guess.

GG: Who's that?

TT: A guy named Noir.

TT: Real nasty dude. Crazy ambitious. Loves knives.

TT: If we're going to stand any chance of winning this thing,

TT: I've got this nagging suspicion we're gonna have to take him down first.

TT: And a feeling that nags equally,

TT: Is it ain't gonna be easy.

GG: I guess I should find all that ominous.

GG: But I cannot lie, sir.

GG: Nothing you have said has made me one iota less excited to begin this adventure!

GG: Those dastardly agents can try to assassinate me all they like. I just want to get started!

TT: That's the most awesome way to be, Jane.

TT: And it is again why you will be our leader.

TT: (Sort of.)

GG: Right.

GG: Still fixing to pull the strings for us, per your extensive puppet metaphor?

TT: Pulling them as we speak.

TT: I am having Lil Seb install a real copy of the client on another computer in your house.

TT: A clean computer, not any of this BCCorp garbage you tend to accumulate.

TT: I'll have to insist from this point onward, you employ neutral devices.

TT: That shit fucks with your head.

GG: Hrm.

GG: Alrighty, I think I can make that concession.

TT: Once it's installed, I'll connect with you. I will be your server player.

TT: I know this isn't what you were hoping for, but some improvisation is in order.

TT: While you get the ball rolling, I'll try to talk some sense into that mercurial boozehound.

GG: Sounds like a plan.

GG: I do hope she comes around. It would be a bummer to play without her.

TT: She will.

GG: Say, do I even have any machines that survived the explosion besides this one?

TT: Do you even have any machines that don't inundate you with fucking Hamburger Helper ads and Guy Fieri's heinous propaganda?

GG: I guess not. :p

GG: Still, some nice things were surely destroyed.

GG: I think Detective Pony was caught in the blast.

GG: It's unlikely Acorn survived. :'(

TT: A fitting end to a life of moral compromise.

GG: So, since I'm apparently out of "neutral devices,"

GG: Which computer is Seb installing the file on?

TT: On your dad's computer downstairs.

TT: One in the study.

GG: Gotcha.

GG: My poor dad.

GG: He surely heard the explosion. I've put him through so much today.

GG: Oh no...

TT: What?

GG: I just had a dreadful thought.

GG: The kitchen is just below my room.

GG: What if he had begun baking his afternoon cake when my computer exploded?

TT: I wouldn't worry about it.

GG: Maybe I should go look?

GG: Though I'm a little afraid to.

TT: I think it'll take a lot more to kill that dude than a little falling debris.

TT: Trust me.

GG: I hope so.

GG: The Crockers have something of a legacy when it comes to losing forebears in mysterious explosions.

GG: I would be so sad if I kept the tradition alive like this.

TT: The most you have to worry about is getting grounded back to the stone age.

TT: When you enter the session, he'll probably lock you up in a prison cell on Derse.

TT: Probably stick a huge safe in front of the bars for good measure.

TT: Now do me a favor and hop off the couch.

GG: Ok.

GG: What are you doing?

TT: Makin' room for something big.

#homestuck #dirk strider #jane crocker #homestuck act 6 #page 4454 #page 4455 #page 4456 #page 4457 #page 4458 #page 4459 #homestuck act 6 act 2

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bookloversofbath · 1 year

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Remington :: K. D. Kirkland

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zeldasnotes · 1 year

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CAREER ASTEROIDS💰

THESE ASTEROIDS CAN POINT TO WHERE YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL OR TALENTED:

6583 Destinn

33154 Talent

389 Industria

829 Academia

19 Fortuna

258 Tyche (greek goddess of luck)

151 Abundantia

109 Felicitas (roman goddess of success)

407 Arachne (boastful talent)

9777 Enterprise

408 Fama (fame)

CAREER ASTEROIDS BASED ON DIFFERENT PROFESSIONS:

MUSIC 🎼🎤

1266 Tone (might say something about your tone)

27 Euterpe (muse of music & lyric poetry)

1815 Beethoven

1034 Mozartia

1009 Sirene

713 Luscinia

ACTING🎬🎭

3267 Glo (shine and glow, someone who stands out)

12238 Actor

23 Thalia (muse of comedy)

18 Melpomene (muse of tragedy, connected to playing tragic and serious roles)

627 Charis (charisma)

ART 🎨🖼️

600 Musa

23° Libra Fixed Star Spica (creative talents in art and design)

4457 Van Gogh

6676 Monet

4221 Picasso

3001 Michelangelo

4928 Vermeer

PSYCHOLOGY & HEALING ❤️‍🩹

7116 Mental

9795 Deprez

4451 Grieve

14827 Hypnos

1912 Anubis (knowledge of death/change/soul Journey)

16 Psyche

2 Pallas (wisdom & strategy)

3402 Wisdom

249521 Truth

1488 Aura

2696 Magion (magician)

5239 Reiki (reiki healing)

1221 Amor (couples theraphy)

MEDICAL FIELD👨🏾‍⚕️🩺

1027 Aesculapia (the name of the greek god of medicine)

10 Hygiea

5239 Reiki (reiki healing)

2878 Panacea (a solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases)

18310 Osawa (George Osawha, pioneer of microbiotics)

1924 Horus (curing the incurable)

FINANCE 📊💰

19 Fortuna

151 Abundantia

13956 Banks

7782 Mony

4955 Gold

1918 Midas

22562 Wage

9249 Yen

21409 Forbes

ASTROLOGER🌌🔭

8958 Stargazer

24626 Astrowizard

1154 Astronomia

30 Urania (muse of astrology and astronomy)

6465 Zvezdotchet (russian for astrologer)

2433 Sootiyo (star boy)

2432 Soomana (star girl)

MODELING👢💄

600 Musa

47 Aglaja

695 Bella

5089 Nadherna (gorgeous beauty)

1388 Aphrodite

2101 Adonis

5011 Ptah

62 Erato

11727 Sweet

268 Adorea (if in on the ascendant will be adored for appearance)

COPY: 6583, 33154, 389, 829, 19, 258, 151, 109, 407, 33154, 9777, 408, 1266, 27, 1815, 1034, 1009, 3267, 23, 18, 600, 4457, 6676, 4221, 3001, 4928, 7116, 9795, 4451, 14827, 1912, 16, 2, 3402, 249521, 11911, 1488, 2696, 5239,1221, 1027, 10, 5239, 2878, 18310, 1924, 19, 151, 13956, 7782, 4955, 1918, 22562, 21409, 8958, 24626, 1154, 30, 6465, 2433, 2432, 600, 47, 695, 5089, 1388, 2101, 5011, 62, 11727, 1, 268, 713

BOOK AN ASTEROID READING🔮 ➔ PRICES

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #asteroids #ascendant #birth chart readings #aphrodite #astronotes

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hadeth · 1 month

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عَنْ أَنَسٍ، عَنْ زَيْدِ بْنِ ثَابِتٍ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ: تَسَحَّرْنَا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ثُمَّ قَامَ إِلَى الصَّلاَةِ‏.‏ قُلْتُ كَمْ كَانَ بَيْنَ الأَذَانِ وَالسَّحُورِ قَالَ قَدْرُ خَمْسِينَ آيَةً‏.‏ صحيح البخاري ومسلم حديث ١٩٢١ - ١٠٩٧

Narrated Anas: Zaid bin Thabit said, "We took the Suhur with the Prophet (peace be upon him) . Then he stood for the prayer." I asked, "What was the interval between the Suhur and the Adhan?" He replied, "The interval was sufficient to recite fifty verses of the Qur'an." Sahih al-Bukhari 1921 In-book reference : Book 30, Hadith 30 // Sahih Muslim 1097a In-book reference : Book 13, Hadith 58

قَوْلُهُ قَالَ قَدْرُ خَمْسِينَ آيَةً أَيْ مُتَوَسِّطَةً لَا طَوِيلَةً وَلَا قَصِيرَةً لَا سَرِيعَةً وَلَا بَطِيئَةً وَقَدْرُ بِالرَّفْعِ عَلَى أَنَّهُ خَبَرُ الْمُبْتَدَأِ وَيَجُوزُ النَّصْبُ عَلَى أَنَّهُ خَبَرُ كَانَ الْمُقَدَّرَةِ فِي جَوَابِ زَيْدٍ لَا فِي سُؤَالِ أَنَسٍ لِئَلَّا تَصِيرَ كَانَ وَاسْمُهَا مِنْ قَائِلٍ وَالْخَبَرُ مِنْ آخَرَ قَالَ الْمُهَلَّبُ وَغَيْرُهُ فِيهِ تَقْدِيرُ الْأَوْقَاتِ بِأَعْمَالِ الْبَدَنِ وَكَانَتِ الْعَرَبُ تُقَدِّرُ الْأَوْقَات بِالْأَعْمَالِ كَقَوْلِهِم قَدْرَ حَلْبِ شَاةٍ وَقَدْرَ نَحْرِ جَزُورٍ فَعَدَلَ زَيْدُ بْنُ ثَابِتٍ عَنْ ذَلِكَ إِلَى التَّقْدِيرِ بِالْقِرَاءَةِ إِشَارَةً إِلَى أَنَّ ذَلِكَ الْوَقْتَ كَانَ وَقْتَ الْعِبَادَةِ بِالتِّلَاوَةِ وَلَوْ كَانُوا يُقَدِّرُونَ بِغَيْرِ الْعَمَلِ لَقَالَ مَثَلًا قَدْرَ دَرَجَةٍ أَوْ ثُلُثِ خمس سَاعَة.

وَقَالَ بن أَبِي جَمْرَةَ فِيهِ إِشَارَةٌ إِلَى أَنَّ أَوْقَاتِهُمْ كَانَتْ مُسْتَغْرَقَةً بِالْعِبَادَةِ وَفِيهِ تَأْخِيرُ السُّحُورِ لِكَوْنِهِ أبلغ فِي الْمَقْصُود قَالَ بن أَبِي جَمْرَةَ كَانَ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَنْظُرُ مَا هُوَ الْأَرْفَقُ بِأُمَّتِهِ فَيَفْعَلُهُ لِأَنَّهُ لَوْ لَمْ يَتَسَحَّرْ لَاتَّبَعُوهُ فَيَشُقُّ عَلَى بَعْضِهِمْ وَلَوْ تَسَحَّرَ فِي جَوْفِ اللَّيْلِ لَشَقَّ أَيْضًا عَلَى بَعْضِهِمْ مِمَّنْ يَغْلِبُ عَلَيْهِ النَّوْمُ فَقَدْ يُفْضِي إِلَى تَرْكِ الصُّبْحِ أَوْ يَحْتَاجُ إِلَى الْمُجَاهَدَةِ بِالسَّهَرِ.

وَقَالَ فِيهِ أَيْضًا تَقْوِيَةٌ عَلَى الصِّيَامِ لِعُمُومِ الِاحْتِيَاجِ إِلَى الطَّعَامِ وَلَوْ تُرِكَ لَشَقَّ عَلَى بَعْضِهِمْ وَلَا سِيَّمَا مَنْ كَانَ صَفْرَاوِيًّا فَقَدْ يُغْشَى عَلَيْهِ فَيُفْضِي إِلَى الْإِفْطَارِ فِي رَمَضَانَ قَالَ وَفِي الْحَدِيثِ تَأْنِيسُ الْفَاضِلِ أَصْحَابَهُ بِالْمُؤَاكَلَةِ وَجَوَازُ الْمَشْيِ بِاللَّيْلِ لِلْحَاجَةِ لِأَنَّ زَيْدَ بْنَ ثَابِتٍ مَا كَانَ يَبِيتُ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَفِيهِ الِاجْتِمَاعُ عَلَى السُّحُورِ وَفِيهِ حُسْنُ الْأَدَبِ فِي الْعِبَارَةِ لِقَوْلِهِ تَسَحَّرْنَا مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَلَمْ يَقُلْ نَحْنُ وَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لِمَا يُشْعِرُ لَفْظُ الْمَعِيَّةِ بِالتَّبَعِيَّةِ... فتح الباري شرح صحيح البخاري لابن حجر

فِيهِ دَلِيلُ اسْتِحْبَابِ تَأْخِيرِ السَّحُورِ، وَتَقْرِيبِهِ مِنْ الْفَجْرِ. ابن دقيق العيد

الحديث ترجم عليه الإمام البخاري –رحمه الله تعالى- بقوله: باب قدر كم بين السحور وصلاة الفجر أي: انتهاء السحور وابتداء الصلاة، يعني: المدة بين انتهاء السحور وابتداء الصلاة؛ لأن المراد تقدير الزمان الذي تُرك فيه الأكل، الفاصل بين نهاية الأكل الذي هو نهاية السحور وإقامة الصلاة.

"والمراد بفعل الصلاة أول الشروع فيها" وصلاة الفجر ليس المراد نهايتها؛ لئلا يقال: إن الخمسين آية في نفس الصلاة.

والمراد بفعل الصلاة أول الشروع فيها، قاله الزين بن المنيَّر فيما نقله ابن حجر. وقال العيني: مطابقته للترجمة من حيث إن فيه تأخير السحور إلى أن يبقى من الوقت بين الأذان وأكل السحور مقدار خمسين آية... شرح كتاب التجريد الصريح لأحاديث الجامع الصحيح للخضير

Hadith Translation/ Explanation : English French Spanish Turkish Urdu Indonesian Bosnian Russian Bengali Chinese Persian Sinhalese Tagalog Indian Vietnamese Sinhalese Kurdish Hausa Portuguese: https://hadeethenc.com/en/browse/hadith/4457

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