Tumgik
#5sos angst
Text
emergency contact | calum hood x fem!reader
FUCK this took so long and took so many twists and turns but i have finished lads
summary: you end up in the hospital after an accident, only to find that your emergency contact number hadn’t been updated. you are yet to find out if it’s a blessing or a curse. 
word count: 8.9k
warnings: self doubt, talking down about oneself, she/her pronoun usage, swearing, breakups, angst, drinking, car accident, hospital mentions, injury mentions, mentions of weed, partying, fighting
author's note: it might be rushed at the end and there's no set timeline of events, so it might not align with the true events IRL.
i also would like to say that we support girls here! no hate toward anyone, girls support girls!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
In defense of yourself, you hadn’t expected to be back in Los Angeles so soon. Nor had you anticipated an accident like this to update your contacts on your phone. It was on the back of your mind, yes, but you had intended to change your emergency contact list on your phone for events like these. It was something you’d remind yourself occasionally, only to push it off for the next day, then the next day, then forget about it altogether. 
And perhaps you were too cowardly to change the list. You didn’t admit this to another soul since it had been nearly a year since the two of you broke things off. Your friends time and time again had persuaded you to put yourself back on the market, to get over the musician. But how could you? You had dedicated the best years of your life to him, nearly six of them. You thought you were going to marry the man, but life had other plans. 
That being said, you still loved him. The small act of removing him off your emergency contacts list felt so final to you. Like that was the end of your sad little love story with him. Truth be told, it was the end. It was the end from the moment you broke things off with him. You were just too stubborn to admit that to yourself. 
It was your doing, wasn’t it? You were the one to tell him it was over. He had just gotten back home from their tour and went to greet you with open arms. You had been wretched enough to deny him that, pulling away immediately. You ignored his eyes when you told him you were tired of your lifestyle. Of waiting on him like a dog for him to come back from tour. Of relishing that one month of being together like it was the last thing on earth, only for him to leave once again for tours or writing retreats. 
And most of all, you were tired of not feeling enough for him. In the world of popular and beautiful stars, why did he stay with you? Calum never made you feel so ordinary, not on purpose, at least. You had nothing to offer him other than your love. You feared that wouldn’t be enough in the end. The more years that passed, and the closer the possibility of marriage became, you thought it would be better to let go of him first before he ended up resenting you for not choosing someone better when he had the chance. 
You didn’t listen to his pleas for you to stay. Or his professions of love for you, or how his promise to leave the band entirely if it meant you staying. You felt so cruel to let someone who loved you so much go so easily. He was willing to give up his music for you, so how could you ever claim that you were second best to his music? 
But that was the very thing, you were afraid. He loved you so much that he was willing to let his entire life go for you. You couldn’t let him do that to himself, to let go of his happiness. But you had enough self dignity to know that you deserved more out of life than waiting in an empty home to fill up again. 
Calum wasn’t sure what to make of the phone call he received just a moment ago. He never thought he’d hear your name again, much less be summoned to the hospital to see you. 
“Mate, why are you still here?” Ashton asked, tucking away his drumsticks. “The nurse called you a half hour ago. Aren’t you going to see her?” 
“I don’t know,” Calum uttered truthfully. “It’s been so long since I last saw her. It was probably a mistake, right? Why would they call me up?” 
Michael rolled his eyes from the couch where he was tuning his guitar. “Because you’re still down as her emergency contact,” he drawled sarcastically. 
“Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” Calum deadpanned. “I mean, why would they call me and not her parents or something? Or her new boyfriend,” he muttered under his breath. 
Luke approached the group from the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair. “Easy there, tiger,” he teased, grasping Calum’s shoulders from behind. “One might assume you’re jealous.” The youngest of the group quickly dodged the bassist’s shove, laughing while doing so. “To calm your worries, no, she doesn’t have a new boy in her life. And her parents moved to the east coast three months ago so they can’t come over.”
“Well aren’t you the stalker,” Ashton snickered. 
Luke shot the drummer a glare. “I’m not a stalker,” Luke defended himself. “In case you actually wanted to know, I still keep contact with y/n. At least Sierra does for the most part. Though, last time I heard she was in Boston.” 
“Boston,” Calum spoke up in confusion. “What’s she in Boston for? And how did she end up here?” 
Luke clicked his tongue, a knowing look on his face. “If you want to know, you can ask her yourself,” he sang in an annoying tone. 
Michael set his guitar down and stood up in defense of his friend. “While that’s true,” he began. “What about..you know?”
“What about “you know?”” Ashton piped up. “There’s no harm in Calum going. She could really be hurt and need someone with her. If what Luke said is true and you’re the only nearby emergency contact, it’s better safe than sorry that you go to her.” 
The boys shared a look with each other. In their heart of hearts they knew it was a bad idea to let Calum go, especially after everything that had happened. But a selfish part of them wanted their best friend back, so what harm was in that notion? 
“I’ll go,” Calum finally relented. “But she’s coming with me.” 
When Calum arrived at the hospital, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. The doctor explained it was a car accident, and although you were recovering okay you still had to be observed after minor surgery. A part of Calum’s heartstrings tugged at the thought of you alone and afraid during the accident, thinking he could have done something if you hadn’t broken things off, but he pushed that feeling down. It’s been a year; you’ve probably gotten over him and he’s started a new chapter of his life without you. 
Calum followed the nurse to the recovery room where you were still unconscious. At the sight of you, he instantly lost all air in his lungs. Frozen, the bassist stood before you with a mix of emotions flooding through his face. 
It was as though you were entirely different but still the same in some way. Your face, albeit bruised, looked more peaceful than Calum had seen of you. Hell, even before you broke things off you always had a furrowed brow or frown of some sort. It broke Calum’s heart to know that he was the cause of that stress. 
Calum sat down beside you, instantly grasping your hand like second nature. It was just as soft as he could remember, and your nail polish was chipped and stained the skin surrounding it. Calum chuckled to himself, a tearful smile on his face. He knew your nail polish was your own doing, seeing as you had always asked him to paint your nails since he had “more precision.” 
“Oh y/n,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “What the hell did you get yourself into now?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 
Calum jerked back to see your eyes staring back at him. “Hi, stranger,” you managed to crack a smile. “What brings you to this hospital?”
Calum choked out a laugh, his thumb grazing against the top of your hand. “Oh you know me,” he said. “Always hanging around these parts whenever I get the chance.” 
“You idiot,” you snorted, shaking your head and wincing in pain.
“Easy now,” Calum reached over to cup your cheek. “The doctor said you have a mild concussion and a sprained ankle, but nothing a bit of rest can’t fix.”
Your hand met his on your face, instantly warming to his touch like nothing had changed between the two of you. “Why are you here, Hood?” you asked curiously.
“You tell me.” Calum pulled out his phone and showed his past calls list. “I got a call from the hospital saying I was your emergency contact.” 
You dropped his hand and covered your face in embarrassment. If your headache wasn’t killing you, the sheer embarrassment was. “Oh my God,” you groaned. “I’m so sorry, Calum. I had meant to change it but I never got the chance and–”
“It’s alright,” Calum calmed you down. “Relax. I’m not mad or anything. If anything, this gave us a great opportunity to reconnect and catch up on things. It’s been what, a year?”
One year, three months, twenty eight days, and twelve and a half hours, the both of you thought subconsciously. But who’s counting? 
The both of you were. Clearly.
“Something like that,” you lied smoothly. “How are you? How are the boys? I’ve kept contact with Crys and Sierra, but I haven’t had a chance to meet with them both. I was actually planning on shooting them a text as soon as I landed here, but obviously I haven’t had the chance.” 
Calum laughed at your blunt humor. He missed that a lot about you. “I’m alright,” he replied. “The boys are great, too. They send their love, by the way. We’ve been cooped up at the studio writing and producing music, though you probably expected that from us.”
Ouch. Was that a dig toward why you broke up with him? “Naturally,” you grinned. “Do I make a special feature in this album? The trashy ex that broke up with the bassist as soon as the tour ended? You best get back to the studio, I’m sure this whole debacle has given you something to write about.” 
“You are far from trashy,” Calum countered, continuing the light banter. “And I’m not going to throw your dirty laundry out like that, I have some taste, you know.” 
“Oh come on,” you pressed. “That hoe called me back, gave me a heart attack,” you sang terribly, making Calum cover his ears. “Oh yeah she broke my heart, that’s not even the start-”
“Oi, quit that!” he laughed. “Leave the songwriting to me because good God that was terrible. Any more of that and you’d put me in the hospital bed next to you. And please do not call yourself a hoe. That’s worse than Luke calling Ash “daddy.”” 
Once your laughter had died down and you ran out of lyrics to spew, a comfortable silence filled the room. His chocolate brown eyes rested down at your joined hands. 
“Thank you, by the way,” you spoke to break the silence. “For coming. You didn’t have to do that.” 
“For my trashy ex?” he teased, a smirk dancing along his lips. “I’d do anything.” 
God why did you break up with him? He was perfect, still is. Why does he still tug at your heartstrings and make you weak with one smile. How could you still feel this way after a whole year? Do you still love him-
“Babe, there you are! This place is a maze, I could barely understand the nurse’s directions.” 
You turned your head so fast, you nearly got whiplash again. Standing before you was a beautiful girl with the most luxurious beach waves and tan that every girl dreamed of. 
She bent down to kiss Calum’s cheek swiftly, making your breath hitch without you realizing. The girl smiled at you, taking your hand -that Calum instantly dropped at the sound of her voice- and squeezing it. “You must be y/n,” she concluded cheerfully. “I’m Tia, Calum’s friend.” 
“They are so not friends,” you grumbled to your friends, days after the initial encounter. 
Your friends chuckled at your gray demeanor, each of them taking sips of their coffee or bites of their breakfast. After being discharged from the hospital, the band and their significant others thought it would be perfect to catch up with you during brunch. You had agreed, eager to learn about everything you missed, especially the new couple. 
“You’d be right and wrong, n/n,” Michael replied, setting his mug down. The group was significantly more relaxed to talk about the subject considering Tia needed to take a phone call and Calum insisted on accompanying her. “The way they’re friends isn’t the same as how he’s friends with us–”
“Speak for yourself, baby, Calum keeps my bed warm whenever Sierra’s out,” Luke teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Sierra rolled her eyes playfully, elbowing him in the ribs. 
“And Luke keeps mine warm when they’re both gone,” Ashton chimed in without missing a beat.
Michael sent the youngest and oldest members a glare before continuing. “As I was saying,” he huffed exasperatedly. “They’re in the weird phase between friends and dating. They met a little after the tour and were friends for a while. It was Tia that made the move on Calum, like, two months ago.”
Noticing the stark difference in your facial expressions after hearing Michael’s explanation, Crystal came in to quickly finish the story. “He hasn’t confirmed or denied anything, but they have been on a few dates. He’s taking it very slowly.” 
“That’s..nice to hear,” you slowly began. “But the more I hear about her, the more guilty I feel about feeling this way.” Your shoulders caved in as your friends shared a concerned look. “She seems sweet, and Calum and I are old news. It was my own decision to break things off in the first place.” 
Sierra reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. “Why did you break things off with him?” she asked in a quieter voice. 
You couldn’t help but notice how the rest of the group leaned in to hear your answer. “You mean Calum didn’t tell you?” you inquired the boys. 
“He just said it was mutual,” Ashton raised his hands up in defense. “I didn’t know you broke it off with him.” 
“Why didn’t you tell us she broke up with Cal?” Luke whisper-shouted to his partner. 
Sierra only shrugged her shoulders. “I thought you knew,” she responded, her hands grasping around her mug as she took a sip.
“No one knew,” you settled. “And it’s going to stay that way.” 
The group let out shouts of disapproval that were instantly quieted once Calum finally returned and took a seat. “What’s the fuss about?” he asked curiously. 
You shook your head, taking an overly healthy sip of your mimosa. “Oh you know,” you sighed. “Typical group shenanigans, as per usual.” 
“What kind-?” he pressed before being curtly interrupted.
“Where’s Tia?” Luke cut in, saving everyone’s necks for the time being. 
Calum took in a draw of breath after stealing Luke’s cup of coffee, much to the singer’s distaste. “Oh you know,” he copied you teasingly. “Manager calls, as per usual.” 
“She’s been getting plenty of calls lately,” Crystal commented. 
You tried to not show immense interest in the conversation. After all, you didn’t know much about Tia and the group had been too distracted to show you her Instagram profile, damn Michael and his random tangents. In the meantime, you absentmindedly twirled your straw between your thumb and forefinger as the conversation continued. 
“Tia’s getting a lot of public interest, what can I say?” Calum responded. “Her videos are getting more views every day. Her manager’s been calling her nonstop since companies keep reaching out to offer brand deal after brand deal.” 
Ashton let out a hopeful sigh. “Imagine having a brand deal set for life,” he pondered aloud, setting his salad fork down. “I’d adopt more goats and expand the garden.” 
“Cool it, Old McDonald,” Michael snickered. “I can’t imagine the band doing brand deals. Remember One Direction and their Pepsi commercials during the Super Bowl? Louis hated them.” 
The table laughed, recalling the memory. Recognizing your confusion regarding Tia’s profession, Sierra leaned in. “She’s an Instagram influencer and interior designer. She went to school for design but has branched out since. Last time I browsed her page she was doing promos for some yoga company.” 
“Great, so she’s perfect,” you grumbled to yourself, quiet enough for only Ashton to hear since he was right beside you. The drummer snorted, elbowing you roughly. 
Calum, thankfully deaf to your comment, nodded along to Sierra’s explanation. “She’s great,” he hummed. 
Your heart clenched at his words, but a hopeful side of yourself couldn’t help but perk at his courtness. Of course, it could be just to spare your feelings to not speak much about her. But a selfish part in your mind wondered if it was because she wasn’t his missing piece, the way that you fit perfectly for him. 
Stop that, you scolded yourself. Calum is no longer yours, you made sure of that. You were the selfish one who pushed him away. Why do you continue to torture him when he’s finally happy, no thanks to you. You can’t continue to pull him back, that’s why you broke up with him. And here you are,  falling back into old habits. 
You blinked back your tears, the tears you had so desperately fought back since the day you broke up with him. You didn’t deserve to shed these tears when you caused the problem in the first place. Instead, you sucked in a breath and maintained your rigid composure. It’s better than falling apart, which you more than desperately wanted to do at the moment. 
“y/n, you alright?” Calum asked, breaking you from your trance. 
You jumped slightly, lifting your head to face the group. Forcing a smile, you nodded. “Perfectly fine.” 
You weren’t sure why you were called here. After becoming mutuals on Instagram (and thoroughly stalking her pristine profile) Tia was quick to invite you out for yoga. You weren’t too keen on attempting yoga with a certified instructor, much preferring to save face in front of the already perfect girl. However, you found her nice and sweet enough to befriend despite the heartache it caused you. 
“I’m really glad you agreed to come with me today,” Tia told you honestly as you finished your session for the day. 
You settled yourself onto the mat, easing yourself into a simple stretch. “I’m glad you offered,” you replied, grunting at the ache panging slightly in your ankle. You were careful not to apply extra stress on your injured foot since it was still tender to the touch at times. “I’ve been eager to relax, especially after that accident.” 
“And you deserve it,” Tia reassured you, beginning her own routine. “Yoga’s good for recovery and stress, I’ve always tried to convince Cal into joining but he wasn’t the most graceful learner.” 
You giggled, recalling how clumsy the bassist would be. “Yeah, I’d leave that to Ashton.” 
Tia nodded in agreement. Her fingers danced down her leg as she continued to stretch. Even as jealous as you were of her, you had to admit she was graceful in everything she did (and you were sure of it with a simple browse through her Tiktoks). 
The two of you stepped out of the yoga studio, mats in tow as you continued to talk about random nonsense. On the walk back to your friend’s house -you had been staying there for the time being-, you came to realize that Tia was as genuine as they come and found it very difficult to dislike her out of jealousy. 
“So you know how Cal and I met,” Tia began, referencing the story of how the two met at an awards show. “How did you and Calum meet and get together?” 
Your mouth went dry. She knew you and Calum were a thing in the past? “I-“ you stammered. 
Tia laughed at your sudden awkwardness. “I’m not dumb, you know,” she joked. “I knew about yours and Cal’s past. He talks a lot about you, you know? More now than ever now that you’re back.” 
You had to stop the butterflies forming in your stomach. “He does?” you catch yourself saying instantly. 
Tia nodded, uncapping her bottle and taking a sip of water. “Oh yeah, big time,” she answered. “It’s really sweet to know that you made such a big impact on his life.” 
Your cheeks began to warm at her words. “He did the same,” you responded with full honesty. Tia patted your shoulder and grinned. “To answer your question, I met Calum a little over ten years ago, once the band started getting famous. I was just a senior in high school when they moved to L.A. I interned at their studio and that’s how we formally met.”
Tia gave you an impressed nod. “You guys got history,” she mused. 
You couldn’t help but smile. The memories of the past always brought a smile to your face. Dyeing Michael’s hair and staining your bathtub red, constantly buying Ash bandanas whenever you came across one you knew he’d like. Luke coming to you when he had writer’s block, and Cal crawling through your bedroom window whenever he felt homesick and wanted someone to talk to. 
“We do,” you agreed. 
Turning a corner down the street, Tia continued to ask you questions. “Who asked who out?” she questioned. “Three years of being friends turned partners was clearly not an overnight thing.” 
“It wasn’t,” you said. “It was Calum who asked me, but it took a whole lot of convincing from the boys.” You laughed quietly to yourself, recalling how he asked you to be your girlfriend. 
You heard music playing softly in the night air. You had been studying nonstop for your college finals and hadn’t seen the outside of your dorm all day. You hadn’t called the boys in a while either since they’ve been touring the world after releasing Sounds Good Feels Good. You were significantly proud of them but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss your boys. Now, hearing the soft guitar strumming from outside your window made you feel more longingful for them than ever. 
Especially Calum. You had a soft spot for the bassist, everyone knew that. You spent the most time with him when you interned at the music studio. He trusted your opinion above everyone else’s, and reached out to you the most while on tour. To say you had a little crush on him would be an understatement. The boys teased you relentlessly and teased Calum much more. They always said it was a matter of time until one of you would cave in and confess to the other. But they were wrong. You’re here in a small college dorm with no air conditioning single as can be while the boy you loved was halfway across the world. 
“Thinking of you,” you texted Calum with a heavy heart. “And the boys, ofc :P” 
You set your phone down and attempted to go back to studying when your phone pinged again. 
“You don’t have to feel so blue, n/n,” he responded. “Look outside”
You hopped out of bed and opened your window as much as the old rusty thing could go. On the campus grass were your favorite boys flashing lights from their phones at you. Calum was resting on Ashton’s shoulders, waving at you with the wild boyish smile you loved with your entire being. Michael and Luke were beside him, Michael playing the guitar and Luke grinning and filming. 
Concentrating hard, you recognized the sweet melody. It was the very song you wrote with him, Beside You. 
“She sleeps alone
My heart wants to come home
I wish I was, I wish I was
Beside you”
Your heart did somersaults at the presentation before you. You had always begged Calum to sing more for the album but the boy was too shy. It took some pushing but you helped him get his confidence up. Taking a cardigan, you ran out of your hall and joined the boys on the lawn, tackling each of them into a hug. 
“What the hell’s wrong with you!” you shouted out with a grin. You didn’t care if your yelling woke up your peers. Your boys were here in the flesh. 
“We missed our girl,” Ashton told you, giving you a strong bear hug. 
“One of us more than the rest,” Luke added with a cheeky smirk. 
Calum had long been off Ashton’s shoulders, awaiting your hugs he missed so much. You, on the other hand, hesitated to do so. 
“Come on!” Michael playfully shoved you. “We’ve come all this way, give the boy a hug!” 
Your face was on fire. The extra pairs of eyes made you embarrassed. Calum took an extra step forward, his hands bashfully in his pockets. 
“Didn’t you miss me, sunshine?” he asked you, awfully shy now after his confession of love. He was nervous he put you off and that he read the signs wrong. 
“I did,” you whispered back, equally shy. “But I think I want something more than a hug.” 
The boys let out whoops and cheers of joy as you decided to bite the bullet, grabbing Calum by the loops of his jeans and pulling him into a kiss.
Once you had pulled away, Calum’s lips formed into a dazed smile. “Be my girl, sunshine?” he asked you softly.
You pressed your lips against his once again, though this one was much shorter. “I was always yours, Calum.”
“Why did you and him end things, y/n?” Tia asked you, bringing you out of your thoughts. You seemed to be stuck in a trance these days, always pondering over the past and what could have been. 
You chewed the inside of your cheek, truly at a loss of words. What could you say? That you had been selfish and pushed him away so that he wouldn’t end up hurting you first? That you drove the knife deep into Calum, twisting it in every way shape and form out of self preservation? There was no other way to put it than that in your mind. 
“Time heals but also kills,” you told her with a broken smile. “Cal and I decided to put ourselves out of our misery and end things while they were good before it got worse.” It wasn’t completely a lie. Sure, he had no say in your ending things, but you spoke the truth about putting him out of his misery.
“Do you still love him?” she asked. 
You glanced over at her. Her eyes shone in the light, curious and innocent. She didn’t know the pain you both had endured that landed you in this position. 
Yes, your heart cried out. You love him. You love him with your entire being, that’s why you let him go. Because you’d rather kill your soul every single day of your life than stop him from reaching his life goals. If you had to go through that awful night that you broke your own heart again, you would, just to ensure that he is happy. 
Even if that meant that he would be happy with someone else. 
“He’s my first love,” you told her tearfully. “Of course I love him. But I am not his love, and that is okay with me. Life goes on, and so should I.” 
The two of you stopped in front of your friend’s house. Tia took your hand and squeezed it. “I really do appreciate you coming along with me today,” she said earnestly. “And I’m glad I got to hear about you and Cal’s history. It really puts things into perspective.” 
You smiled back at her. “Thank you for having me,” you responded. “I hope my words haven’t changed anything between the two of you. I meant what I said; him and I are in the past. I truly want the both of us to move forward and grow in our own separate ways.” 
Your butterflies in your stomach turned into fierce wasps, stinging you sharply. Lies, your heart hissed. Tell her you love him and still want him. 
You forced the bile rising in your throat down. Tia, blind to your inner troubles, continued to speak. “That’s actually what I wanted to ask you,” she chuckled nervously. She grabbed your other hand, bringing them together. 
“I wanted to ask Cal to be my boyfriend,” Tia confessed.
Crack. There goes your heart.
Tia seemed to notice the dip in your lips and immediately retracted. “But I don’t want to overstep or anything!” she rushed. “You and Cal have history, I’m not stupid enough to deny it. And that’s okay, that’s no one’s fault. If you still love him and want him, I’m not going to get in the way. Calum, well, it’s clear he loves you, too. I’ve heard countless amounts of stories about you to not get the memo. I really like Cal, I do. But that can’t go up against love.” 
This was your chance. To right your wrongs from the past and take back what you truly wanted. Calum. You could take this moment to run to his house right now and take him back, and you’d have Tia’s full support. Zero guilt. 
But why did it hurt so bad? 
No. You made your bed, you have to sleep in it. It doesn’t matter if the bed was built of blades of self doubt and hate, you have to slip into the sharp sheets and let it pierce through your skin. You created your own mess. It is you alone that must deal with it. Not Calum, and surely not Tia. 
You’ve made enough problems for everyone as is. 
You mustered enough strength to let go of Tia’s hands and instead cup her cheeks. “Tia, honey,” you whispered calmly. “Our love is in the past. I’ve missed my chance, and I have learned to live with it. I’ve seen the way Calum looks at you, and that’s something that can blossom into something beautiful. There’s no need to dig up something that has already run its course.” 
Tia’s lip trembled at your words. You nodded carefully. “You don’t need my permission or anything to date Calum. You don’t owe me anything. You both deserve to be happy, and clearly you make each other happy.”
“Are you sure?” Tia asked. “I promise you, it won’t hurt my feelings or anything if you still want him.” 
“No, Tia,” you reassured her, despite the burning feeling in your chest. “Please, make him happy. Make him happier than I could ever make him. He deserves that much.” 
Two weeks have passed since your encounter with Tia. Last thing you heard was that the two were very happy indeed, but you didn’t hear if they made it official. You had plenty of dates with the girls, but you insisted on changing the subject whenever they brought Calum up. You feared that if you heard about him one more time, you might burst into tears or do something stupid. 
You finished up your work from the office in your friend’s house. Grateful to be able to work from home for the time you stayed in L.A., you had to admit that sitting on a chair from 9 to 5 made you quite sore. Eager to stretch your legs, you decided to take a walk to the local park. 
However, it wasn’t any random park. It was the place you and Cal used to have endless dates when he was back from tour or the studio. You’d lay on the blanket he took from his apartment at the time and stare at the stars. Back when you both didn’t have much, you’d snack on soup crackers you took from each time you went to the diner across the street and share a can of Coke Cal took from the vending machine after work. So many secrets were shared at this park, and so many memories were made, too. 
“I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who still frequents this place.” 
You jumped to see the last person you expected at this place. Calum gave you a bashful smile before sitting beside you on the grass. You took in the last hour of sun beaming down your skin before the sky went dark, closing your eyes and tuning out the sound of the infamous L.A. traffic. 
“How can I not?” you quipped. “This park is the only place in L.A. that isn’t stuffy or gross.”
Calum let out a laugh, quietly agreeing with you. “So what brings you here, Hood?” you asked, nudging his shoulder. 
The bassist could only shrug his shoulders. “Could say the same about you,” he hummed. “Sometimes I like to sit here and write music. Other times I just sit here and listen to the ambiance.” You nodded, crossing your arms on your chest and making sure to keep a safe distance from him. His touch was mesmerizing, but you had to remind yourself that he was no longer yours. 
“This place reminds me to stay grounded,” he told you truthfully. “When I get too in my head, I always go here, even after we broke up.” 
You dropped your hands to the grass, braiding the blades absentmindedly. “I’m glad,” you spoke up. Calum looked over at you, awaiting an explanation. “It’s too good of a place to let go after a silly little relationship.” 
“It wasn’t a silly little-” Calum fought back. 
“Let’s not talk about it, Cal,” you sighed exasperatedly. 
Calum instantly frowned. “Why not?” he pressed. “You never seem to want to talk about the good old days.”
“Because it wasn’t “the good old days,”” you insisted, lying through your teeth. 
Calum let out a stubborn huff. “Now that’s a lie,” Calum shot back. “But whatever, I won’t push.” A pregnant silence took over the two of you as Calum tried to find something to say. “Have you found yourself a new boyfriend yet?” he decided to ask. 
“Calum-” you began.
“You said not to bring up the past,” Calum argued. “This is the best I can do.” 
You shook your head at his words, giving in nonetheless. “No, I don’t,” you answered. 
“Are you not ready for one?” he asked. 
“I-” You took a moment to find the right words. “I need to work on myself before moving forward with someone else.” 
“Well, I don’t get that,” Calum commented with a snort. “You’re perfect, what could you possibly work on?”
You choked out a dry laugh, though there was no humor behind it. “Quite a bit, I’d say,” you confessed. “Calum, I was a mess, I still am. I can’t put someone through that again.” 
“You didn’t put me through anything,” Calum persisted. “And now that you mention us, I can’t recall anything that you did wrong in that relationship. It was all me.”
“No Calum!” you raised your voice, standing up abruptly. He quickly followed, standing up to meet your frustrated, tired eyes. “It was me. And I’m tired of you insisting otherwise.” 
“You said that I was always gone,” Calum reminded you, his voice matching the same volume as yours. “I don’t see anything that involves you in that.” 
You threw your hands in the air. ���Because I was needy!” you exclaimed. “And I was pushy, and I hated being alone all the time–”
“But I’m right here!” he yelled back. You took a step back in shock. He was never one to raise his voice at you, even when you fought in the past. It was your throat that got raw in those arguments from having a shouting match against yourself and losing hopelessly. “Goddammit y/n I’m right here. And I promised you that night that I would always be here if that’s what you wanted.” 
Tears began to stream down your face as you pulled your hair in anger. “You don’t understand, Calum,” you cried out. 
“Then help me understand!” Calum took a step closer to you, taking your hands in his. His brown eyes were desperate, searching yours for an answer. “Please, sunshine, let me in.” 
For a moment, you almost faltered. You nearly gave in at his sweet words and use of that old nickname. But Tia remained in the back of your mind, and guilt sunk in once more.
You released yourself from his touch, looking away from his eyes. “You can’t call me that anymore,” you whispered to him. “I can’t, Calum. I just can’t.” 
Calum watched you back away hopelessly. “y/n,” he sighed.
“I’m leaving for Boston in two days,” you told him. “I’m sure Ash told you that already, though. I overstayed my welcome at my friend’s house. I should start packing.”
The bassist followed you to the gate of the park. “But I feel like we should talk about this,” Calum pleaded. 
Your fingertips grazed the gate, the cool metal sending shivers down your spine. “I’ll see you at the party, Calum.” 
– 
When you told the boys the date you were going back to Boston, Ashton jumped at the opportunity to throw you a goodbye party. In addition to catching up with you and spending every moment available with you, the boys insisted on planning the “biggest party of the century” for your departure. 
“I still don’t see the necessity for all of this,” you told the three boys with a shake of your head. 
“Trust us,” Ashton said with a wild grin. “We all need this.” 
So here you were, casually sipping your cocktail in the corner of Ashton’s home while their exquisite rager took the house by storm. Sierra and Crystal stayed by your side throughout the night, insisting  to keep up with each other while you were away. This time, you made sure to not end contact with them the way you did last time. Tia had also been in the group but left some time ago to deal with something. 
“Are you sure you have to leave?” Luke asked, pouting dramatically. “L.A. isn’t the same without you here, n/n.” 
You ruffled his hair playfully. The singer was always a little brother to you, no matter how close in age the two of you were. “I do, bub,” you said in a sorry voice. “I don’t think my boss could stand another week without me in the studio.” 
“Then move back to this location!” Michael proposed, raising his glass and nearly spilling his drink on the floor. “Transferring wouldn’t be a bad idea, would it? The studio would love to have you back, producing and doing whatever else you do.” 
You laughed at Michael’s drunken state. You were having a lot of fun relishing in the last few moments with your friends before leaving them once again. You almost didn’t realize the shouting that was going on in the dining room of Ashton’s home. 
The entire group ran to the source of the noise to find Calum standing on the dining table with Tia pleading for him to get down.
“Calum, babe, please,” Tia shouted. “You’re causing a scene.” 
All guests turned to see what was going on, especially to see why the bassist of 5 Seconds of Summer was shouting complete intelligible nonsense. 
Ashton ran towards the edge of the table. “Mate, you need to get down,” he begged hurriedly. “You’re not thinking straight, you need to get down before you get hurt.”
“No,” Calum insisted, his words slurring slightly due to his inebriated state. “I need everyone to listen to me.” 
Someone had managed to find the speaker and turn it off so everyone could hear Calum. Your heart was beating out of your chest, not from the alcohol buzzing through your system, but because of the drunk boy standing before you. 
Calum raised his cup to the crowd. “I’d like to raise a toast to the girl who broke my heart,” he announced sloppily. “The “heartbreak girl” herself, y/n l/n.” Calum clapped loudly. He was the only one who was clapping while you stood there in shock and humiliation. “I loved you, you know?” he sniffed. “And I bloody well still do. Tia’s great, though. Absolutely nothing wrong with you, Tia, I hope you know that. But you’re not the one. y/n right here, she’s the one.” 
His brown eyes, red from drinking and smoking God knows what, teared up as he looked down at you. “But what I can’t figure out is why won’t she love me?” Calum threw back the rest of his drink and winced at how strong it was. “I was getting ready to propose to you, you know?” he told you. “I had the ring in my pocket, and I was just waiting for the perfect moment.” Calum chuckled to himself bitterly. “Guess I fucked that up tremendously.”
“Calum, stop,” you pleaded. 
“Why should I?” he asked you incredulously. “You didn’t stop packing your things when I asked you to. You didn’t stop running when I chased after you in the dark. You didn’t stop when you booked that flight across the country to run away from me.” 
Tears were streaming down your face now. “It wasn’t like that, Cal,” you cried. “W-we broke up for a reason-”
“And that’s what I can’t wrap my head around!” he shouted. “You barely gave me a reason! You told me you never saw me anymore. I was willing to make more time for you, to end my career for you, to get down on one knee and be with you, and that wasn’t enough! There had to be another reason-”
“There wasn’t, Cal!” you sobbed. “So drop it, please.” 
Silence spread throughout the whole house. No one moved an inch, too shocked to make a single sound or move. All that could be heard was the sounds of your messy sobs that you failed to keep in. Cal dropped his cup and gestured his hands at you. 
“The Heartbreak Girl, everyone,” he announced with a broken sigh. “Hope you enjoyed this one hell of a show, with your heartbroken host, Calum Thomas Hood.”
You ran out of the house as fast as your feet could take you. The air was brisk in your lungs, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care when the man you loved poured his heart out to you, only for you to squash it like it was nothing. 
“y/n!” you heard a voice call out for you. You whipped around to see Tia, scrambling to catch up to you. In the back, you could see the band -minus Calum- and their significant others peering out the glass door to see what was going on. 
Tia grabbed your hand tightly. “y/n, fuck, I’m so sorry about Calum,” she apologized, swearing profusely. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. First we were talking about our relationship then-“
“Please, don’t bring up your relationship,” you cut her off, roughly shaking your head. “I know I gave you my blessing, but please I can’t bear to get my heart broken again.” 
“You don’t understand!” Tia pushed. “We don’t have a relationship to begin with! y/n, I never asked Calum to be my boyfriend, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t interfere with a love as great as yours and his.”
You stumbled backwards. “What?” 
Tia nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “y/n, you and Calum are endgame, don’t you see? I only talked to him tonight to explain that you still loved him. I guess he was too caught up in the alcohol to think rationally.” 
“Tia,” you said, voice dripping in disappointment and dread. “That wasn’t your secret to tell him.”
“Were you going to say anything?” she shot back. “You weren’t, so I had to take matters into my own hands. n/n, I’m a firm believer in fate and second chances. This is your chance at making everything right-“ 
“But I can’t!” you cried, ripping your hand away from hers. “Don’t you get it? I’m the one that’s killing him! I put him through hell and I can’t continue to do that. Why can’t you see that I’m a fucked up mess that ruins everything I touch? I love Calum, I’ll never stop loving him, but I’m not blind enough to not see that my love is torturing him slowly.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. Tears reappeared in the corner of your eyes, but you were too tired to wipe them away. “I’m never going to be enough for Calum,” you confessed. “That’s why I broke up with him. I can’t watch him waste his life away on a girl that’s only going to disappoint him. I’m not like you, Tia. I’m not perfect, or beautiful, or smart, or anything remotely interesting. And one day, Calum is going to see that and realize he missed his opportunity to find someone good for him, someone that he deserves.
“I don’t deserve him, Tia,” you finished in a broken whisper. “I never will. So I’d rather fade into the background and be a distant memory than become a face he can’t stand to look at.” 
“That’s not true,” Tia insisted, tears gracefully falling down her beautiful face. “y/n, you have to believe me when I say that’s not true.”
A car drove down the street, approaching the two of you. You let out a sigh of relief, recognizing it as your uber. “I don’t have to believe you,” you replied, opening the car door. “My word is all that I need.”
Calum woke up the next day with a pounding headache. He groaned aloud, sitting up on the couch and cradling his head. He wished he was drunk enough that night to forget everything that happened, but he remembered every single detail. From the beat of the bass from the stereo to the way your dress hugged your curves he loved to kiss and hold. 
He finally pushed you away, he realized. And for good, this time. Calum felt dread and regret rush through his system, and all he wanted was to crawl into his bed and sleep his life away. 
“You know grumbling isn’t going to cure a hangover,” Tia’s reprimanding voice rang through the living room. 
Tia. Calum jumped up to face her where she had been leaning against the door frame.
“Oh Ti,” he sighed, covering his face in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry for last night, I must have humiliated you. I’m a right idiot, and I’m so sorry I put you through that.” 
“Oh shut up,” Tia laughed, walking over to him and sitting him down. “I can’t say that I wasn’t hurt, but I also can’t say I was surprised with how things turned out.” Calum hung his head low, ashamed of his behavior. He never wanted to hurt either of you. “Cal, you don’t have to be so sullen. It’s okay, there’s no hard feelings or bad blood between us.”
When Calum couldn’t bring himself to respond, Tia decided to take it a step further. “I always knew you loved her,” she confessed. “That’s why I brought it up to you last night. I wanted both of you to work things out. She really does love you.” 
Calum let out a bitter laugh. “She sure has a way of showing it,” he muttered. “Tia, don’t make me feel worse by feeding me lies. It hurts enough that I hurt both of you, don’t make it worse by saying that bullshit.” 
“I’m telling the truth!” she fought back. “y/n still loves you, she told me that herself.”
“Then why did she break up with me?” Calum retorted. “If her love never left the table, where was it when she broke things off? Correct me if I’m wrong, Tia, but I don’t think that’s how you treat the people you supposedly love.” 
Tia screwed her eyes shut, heaving out a sigh. “She loved you so much, she thought you deserved more,” Tia finally explained. “She let you go so that you could find someone better, someone who makes you happier.” 
“That doesn’t make sense,” Calum shook his head, eyebrows furrowed in thought. “How could she think that? No one could be better than her, um, no offense.” Tia snorted at the last part. “If anything, I thought I didn’t deserve her.”
“Well you’re both idiots,” Tia deadpanned. “You two clearly love each other more than life itself but were too blind to see you were perfect for each other.” 
Calum’s shoulders caved in as he drowned in his thoughts. His hangover headache was piercing his skull but he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t process why you’d ever think so lowly of yourself when he praised the ground you walk on. 
“How can I go back to her and repair things when I never realized she was hurting?” he asked. “Why would she ever want me back when I wasn’t there at her lowest? All the signs were there. She stopped calling me every night to talk about her day while I was away. She’d dodge my Facetimes with bullshit excuses that I failed to point out.” Calum huffed to himself, beating himself up critically. “What makes you think I won’t fuck up again when she needs me?”
“Because you’ve learned from your mistakes before,” Tia told him, rubbing his arm soothingly. “And you can learn from them again. That’s what I like about you, Cal. You always made an effort to better yourself, no matter the challenge. And if you truly love her, you’re going to end up fine.” 
Calum smiled softly at Tia’s words, raising his chin to look her in the eyes. “I love her so much,” he whispered. The bassist took her hand, squeezing it affectionately. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with us, Ti,” he apologized genuinely. “I really do hope you find someone who is willing to lay down their life for you.” 
“I’ve watched two lovers reconnect like no time has passed at all,” Tia smiled back. “Trust me, I have the groundwork laid out for what’s ahead of me.” 
Suddenly, Calum’s phone began to ring. Lunging towards the arm of the couch, Calum pulled his phone off the charger and read the caller ID. Eyes wide, he looked at Tia who gave him a knowing look. 
“I’ll start the car.” 
You opened your eyes, immediately squinting at the bright light. You were met once again with the familiar feeling of a skull splitting headache and aching ankle. 
“Must you always get yourself into these situations?” 
You turned to face those brown eyes and cheeky smile you adored. Calum shook his head in disbelief, taking your hand in his. “I thought you said you’d change your emergency contact,” he said in a scolding tone. 
Your face was on fire at his words. “I forgot,” you told him honestly. 
Once again, you ended up in the hospital with similar injuries to what you received at the beginning of your trip. But instead of a car accident, you’d clumsily fallen down the stairs on the way to your Uber to the airport. Luckily a neighbor next door heard the ruckus and loaded you into the Uber straight to the hospital. 
“Or it’s fate,” Calum suggested, resting his hand on the side of your head. 
“Calum,” you tried to counter.
He stopped you instantly. “I know why you ended things,” he simply told you. “And I think I deserve a say in it.” Closing your mouth, you let him speak. “You’re wrong, y/n. You do deserve me as much as I deserve you. And I love you no matter what. I don’t need a famous celebrity as my partner when I have you in my life. None of that superficial stuff matters to me, y/n, you know that. And I know that for as long as I live and you forget to change your emergency contact list, I’ll always come for you.” 
Your heart fluttered, and you allowed yourself to feel hope for the both of you. “But what if someday down the line you want more?” you asked in a small voice. 
Calum blinked away his tears. “What more can I want?” he said in response. “You’re all I want, y/n. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt that.” 
“Don’t apologize,” you laughed, tears beginning to fall, too. “It was my stupid brain that made me doubt in the first place.” 
Calum leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. “So is that it?” he asked. “Are we done doubting? Will you finally come home, y/n? Be with me forever?” 
You raised your hand to cup his cheek. He instinctively leaned into your touch. “With you,” you told him surely. “I’m always home. I’m yours, Calum Hood.” 
if you enjoyed, please like and reblog! it would mean a lot to me <3
342 notes · View notes
orangeinecstasy · 5 months
Text
cherry cola, pt. one ࿐ ࿔*:・゚calum hood
paring: calum hood x clifford sister reader (fem implication)
summary: it's once again time for the yearly clifford beach house stay, but things are different. working on their new album the rest of the guys join, hoping the change in scenery will spark some inspiration. will the work get done? or will a forbidden romance blossom?
an: hey everyone! i wanted to try and do a series so here's the first part of seven. i'm up for taking requests for things you guys would want to see in it. lmk your thoughts! much love
cw: smoking, drinking, cursing, age gap, smut
wc: 750
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Monday
The sun pours down on your skin as you pluck the cherry, garnishing your soda. Separating the firm sweet fruit from the stem. Biting into its flesh as you work the pit from its center. You always loved summer days like this. Lounging in a beach chair as freshly mixed cherry cola clouded your mind. Your summer bliss was quickly interrupted by your mother calling out your name. Dissipating your sickly sweet fog as you took your earbuds out. “What?” 
“Your brother and his friends are here,” she repeated, irritation lacing her voice. 
You bit back a smirk as you gathered your things, slipped on the t-shirt you used as a coverup, and making your way back to the house.
Every summer, your mom dragged you and your brother, Micheal, to the family beach house. Even when he had gone off to be in a band, she would always remind him to try and come back for our yearly trip. She wanted you to give you the chance to having a bonding experience despite him being eight years your senior.
Now you were nineteen, and the tradition continued. But, this time, it was different. His bandmates decided to tag along on the trip, saying that maybe the change of scenery would help them write the album they’d been working on for the past couple of months. Your mother easily folded into the idea. “Anything to help my boys!” as she would always say. 
When your mom told you the situation, you couldn’t help but smile, biting your cheek, trying to hide your reaction as your stomach twisted in on itself. That means you got to see him. Calum.
You’d known him your whole life, so many memories littered with him. When he would come over, strumming a guitar and mumbling lyrics to himself. Late nights spent talking when he would come home from tour, legs grazing each other innocently. Each time, causing a spark to shoot up your body and your cheeks to flush. As you’d gotten older, your attraction to him had only grown stronger. But you never pushed. You were young and in college, an average nobody. And well, he wasn’t. 
The bright pastel purple color that was so vibrant in your young memory was now faded, standing, and storms slowly eroding it from the wood. You mourned the color sightly as you made your way up the steps. Sliding the glass door open, you’re met with cool air and laughter as you enter the house. “Look who decided to join us,” your mom says, causing embarrassment to waft over you as everyone turns to look at you. 
Your eyes lock with his. His skin was tanner then you remember, eyes crinkling as he smiled. His buzzcut has grown out messily, but it’s cute, childlike almost. “Hey,” you wave shyly as if you haven’t known these people your whole life. 
“S’up, kiddo,” Micheal asks, ruffling your hair. You quickly smooth it back down, letting out a small groan of annoyance. “Nothing,” you mumble half-heartedly. You quickly greet the others with a soft hello and a smile before rutting through the fridge and finding another cherry coke. 
Everyone slowly departs from the kitchen, scattering to various concerns of the house. All but Calum. He lingers, hip leaning against the counter as his eyes rake up your legs, the shirt you were wearing barely covering anything. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t like it. 
His tongue darted between his lips before he spoke. “So this is the famous beach house I always heard about,” his arms are crossed over his chest, t-shirt straining against his chest and biceps. “Mhm, that it is.” You nod, opening your soda with a crack as you hop onto the counter. Cold granite sends a shiver up your spine. 
“You, uh,” you can hear the gears in his head turning as he selects the appropriate word. “You look good,” words are silky, but his body is so ridge, so scared to give in. His Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard, regretting his words as soon as he said them.
You bite your cheek to hide your smile, a metallic taste melting onto your tastebuds as you bite down harder. “Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself,” he chuckles, relaxing at your words.
There he is— peeling away his skin and bones and opening the deepest part of himself to dip back into the sticky sweetness he missed so desperately.
166 notes · View notes
writersdare · 1 year
Text
Password Is Your Birthday | Calum Hood
Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader (she/her)
Summary: Y/N never doubted Calum's loyalty, however, once controversial photos were leaked, their relationship was put to the test.
Warning: angsty, mention of alcohol
Word Count: 2 582
Requested: yes
Author’s Note: Thank you for the patience! Lately I've experienced a somewhat burnout, and couldn't write anything normally. That's really frustrating when it happens, so I couldn't post the work earlier – it's really important to me to be sure in a story, to be fully satisfied with the result. Hopefully you'll enjoy this one! Remember, your activity helps so-so much! ♡
Tumblr media
There was nothing better than holding his hand in hers. To reflect a smile on his face. To feel the heartbeat of each other every time they were close. 
Sometimes Y/N thought she only imagined him. She created him like a puzzle she used to make in the evenings when was very little. Calum was someone the girl could call perfect. Of course, everyone had their flaws, however, when you loved someone the flaws seemed quite insignificant.
She loved him. He was her second breath, her reason the girl believed in happy endings. It was even funny, amusing and little absurd how two people, who were scared of commitment before, were suddenly searching for love in each other. 
Calum adored her. He enjoyed her bright laugh in late afternoons, when they were watching some silly comedy. Praised Y/N's little sad face each time he’d forget to buy something from their shopping list or finish a pack of crisps that supposed to be for both of them. He was guilty, he knew it. 
But Y/N was guilty, too. For entering his life and turning everything upside down. For not warning that her smile would change everything in him. The musician felt alive next to her, and she knew it. 
"Don’t look at me like this," Y/N chuckled, resting hands on his shoulders. Calum led her in a dance, and even though the room was full of strangers, it felt as if there were just two of them.
"Why so?" Cal giggled back, taking his time to observe the girl’s beautiful eyes. They were shining, and he wanted to believe he was the reason of it. 
"You make me shy," she smiled wider, and Calum only laughed at such confession. He doubted it was the truth, because his Y/N could be naughty, but not shy. Not at such moment at least.
"I make you shy? And that’s it?" he asked, smiling.
Y/N made an innocent face only and shrugged, so Calum couldn’t help himself but leave a kiss on the lips.
"I’m going to get us another drink," he whispered and pulled away gently, when the music ended.
Y/N nodded, following Calum with a gaze. It felt like the smile didn’t leave her face for the whole evening. Perhaps, she needed to be careful with that thought, as the girl was about to receive a message that could change everything she believed in.
Cal just disappeared from the sight, when the girl’s phone vibrated. Y/N lazily took it out of a purse and checked the notification. It was a blank email with a photo attached, nothing else. The girl rolled the eyes and already wanted to push a button "spam", seeing unknown address, as noticed on the picture preview outlines of her boyfriend. Even when the photo downloaded, and the girl could see Cal with someone else, she still thought it was fake, a silly prank. Calum was loyal, and he wouldn’t cheat on her. They were both very open about their relationship, and Y/N never had any doubts about him. The girl didn’t have a good look at the photo, when the phone vibrated again. She sighed  annoyingly and opened another email, where few more photos were included, as well as a link to Google Drive. Curiosity, or maybe already doubts, took over. Y/N looked around and hurried to a more quiet place, away from the guests. She supposed to celebrate Michael’s birthday, like everyone else, but her festive mood disappeared just at the snap of fingers.
The girl seat on a couch and open the link. Surely, she knew it wasn’t safe to open a link from unknown sender, however, it was Google Drive, so the girl doubted it was just spam already. Y/N was too intrigued – and not in a good way, so she took the risk. 
The girl saw few dated folders, the most recent one was created last week. Just like she suspected, there were photos inside – Calum, hanging out with some ginger girl. The stranger was clearly older than Y/N, but looked good, she though. Y/N couldn’t find anything provocative, however, by the look of it, those two clearly had a good time together, laughing and even cuddling each other. 
"Here you are! Are you hiding from someone? I barely found you."
Y/N looked up and saw Calum standing in front of her, holding two cocktails in both hands. The girl didn’t even have powers to give Cal at least a short smile. She stood up and took the glass, placing her phone in his palm. Confused, Cal glanced at the screen.
"What is it?" Y/N, drinking the cocktail through a straw, could see how the boyfriend’s face changed, slowly. "This is… This is not what you think," she almost chocked at such a banal phrase. "Where did you get this? Did you follow me?"
The irritation and panic was written on his face, and Y/N started to feel sick of Cal all of a sudden. The girl took her phone back roughly, fighting with a desire to splash the drink on his face. 
"Y/N…"
"Unknown admire sent it to me," she finally replied, looking at his eyes and still not being able to believe that a person who she trusted the most failed her like that, lied to her. "Why, Calum? You could just tell me if you didn’t feel the same anymore, why to play this game?" the girl couldn’t tell if she was hurt or simply disappointed. Y/N thought they were not just a boyfriend and girlfriend. It always felt like there was something more than that, they were both friends and lovers. A little family in their own world.
"It’s not a game. Look, I didn’t cheat on you."
"Yet?"
Cal sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling.
"Do we really gotta do this now? Right here, with all your friends around?" he asked, hoping to make her come to the senses, however, those questions made Y/N nothing, but angry. 
"How dare you to ask me this, like it’s not important?"
"Because it’s not!" Calum snapped, leaving his glass on a tray of a passing by waiter, Y/N did the same. "These photos… It’s not… What it is."
"Then what is it? Sneaking out at nights, hugging her? Do I look like an idiot?"
"Look I can’t tell you, but––"
"Unbelievable," Y/N laughed shorty, but she wasn’t really having fun at that moment. The girl headed to the exit of the room, feeling like she couldn’t stay there any longer.
"Please, don’t go," he almost whispered, tiredly, and hurried up to follow her. "Y/N! You can’t just leave, all our friends are here, let’s not do it now."
"I’m sorry, but this is more important to me now. You can stay, as I already understood that seeing someone else isn’t a big deal to you," the girl smirked, calling a taxi.
"I’m not seeing anyone," Calum repeated, even though he knew how it all sounded, when Y/N literally had photos, proving a completely different thing. 
"You keep telling me this, but you don’t explain what it is then," the girl said, grinning sadly. "Before lying you needed to come up with a truthful story, Calum," she smirked and got into a car.
The musician followed her, as he couldn’t just leave the girl like that. Cal had no idea how to explain himself; he was very mad at the person, who leaked those photos. Calum obviously didn’t know that someone was taking pictures of him, otherwise he’d be more careful. However, at that particular moment the guy didn’t care as much about the photos going public, – after all, it was only a matter of time when they’d be all over the Internet – as about his relationship with Y/N. Calum knew he messed up, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t fix it. 
The way home was accompanied by silence. Y/N had a lot to process. She couldn’t forgive him cheating, and even though the answer was obvious, everything wasn’t as simple as the girl hoped. Despite a clear disappointment in their relationship and even some hate towards Cal, she still loved him. Y/N couldn’t imagine her life without him. The girl thought everything was alright between them. Was is it all really a lie? Was it her fault? Why was Cal seeking a company of someone else?..
By the end of the ride she was so tired of her own thoughts that all what Y/N wanted was to go to bed and wake up happy again. The girl knew it was doubtfully possible to hide from the bitter reality, but she was not ready for another drama that evening.
However, when Y/N went to their bedroom, Calum was not planning to leave it like that.
"Just an hour ago you wanted to talk, so let’s talk," he chuckled, watching Y/N taking off her heels and going to bed. "We aren’t going to bed until we talk about it," Cal said though his teeth, feeling a wave of anger spreading all over his body.
"I don’t have powers to talk about it anymore," the girl replied calmly, covering herself with a blanket. "You should be happy, you’ll have more time to come up with an excuse," she smiled sadly.
"Y/N, I didn’t cheat on you. And I’m not seeing anyone but you," Cal said coldly, taking a seat on the edge of their bed, so he could look in the girl’s eyes. "I swear to you. I love you."
"Then who is it?" Y/N echoed. She wanted to believe Calum, she desperately wanted to believe him, but he wasn’t making it particularly easy. "Are you saying those photos were fake? A photoshop? At the days when you were coming home late because you had night photoshoots with a band? You know, I trusted you, I didn’t even have any doubts, didn’t have a thought to call guys and ask if it was true. I trusted you," Y/N repeated. The tears were stuck somewhere, and the eyes were still dry. She felt simply empty.
"The photos are real," Calum admitted, as there was no point to lie anymore. "But those meeting weren’t dates."
"Give me your phone," Y/N whispered, realising the guy didn’t confirm that he had night shooting sessions with the band. Because he didn’t have them, apparently.
"I can’t…" he whispered back, not looking at her anymore.
"Calum," the girl swallowed, staring at Cal, who seemed like a lost kitten. "Give me your phone," her voice trembled, but she insisted.
The guy looked up and slowly took the phone out from a pocket of his jacket. He hesitated, but Y/N snatched it from his palm immediately.
"Why can’t you just believe me?" the musician chuckled sadly, watching her entering the password – it was her birthday. The password on her phone was his birthday, they did it as a joke, but both kept it in the end.
"Would you believe me?" Y/N asked, opening chats and scrolling his messages, trying to find a familiar face. Cal had a weird obsession with having profile pictures for all his contacts. Funny, but the girl even hoped that the contact she was looking for wouldn’t be there or would remain without a picture. However, Y/N didn’t even need to scroll that far to see an image of that ginger girl.
Opening chat, Y/N saw some photos the stranger was sending Calum. They were sketches of a ring. There were different kinds, Cal’s replies were mostly short as "I like the first variant better" and "can we try it with a blue stone?". They discussed time of their meetings, and Cal would apologise they’d have to meet that late again, explaining it with his crazy working schedule and "too smart girlfriend".
"What is it?" Y/N whispered and looked up at Calum. The guy didn’t move from his place and was watching her every move, while she was reading the messages and checking the photos.
"How do you think?" Cal asked, and it was his time to be disappointed. He wanted it to be a surprise. "That girl is a jewellery designer," he took his phone back roughly, switching off the screen. "I couldn’t find anything in stores, so I contacted someone I knew . We met just few times, and only because I needed to see work in progress with my own eyes. It’s not that easy just by a picture or a sketch, you know," the guy sighed and stood up.
"Calum," Y/N sobbed, feeling like an idiot. She was blaming herself at that moment, however, the reaction the girl had before was rather understandable, too; besides, Cal couldn’t normally explain himself. But how could he? Again, he wanted it to be a surprise.
"I’ll sleep in a couch today, I guess," the musician chuckled sadly, putting the phone back to his pocket. Calum was staring at Y/N’s face, knowing that it wasn’t just her fault, but both of them. And that idiot, who leaked the photos at first place.
"Look, I’m sorry, I thought––"
"I know," Cal interrupted. "But next time trust me what I say."
Y/N jumped off the bed and brushed tears from the face, once Calum left the room.
"Trust you?" she outraged, getting mad that the guy behaved that way. Sure, Y/N messed up, too, but she had her reasons. "You’d react completely the same way if you were on my place, Calum!" the girl caught his hand, so Cal turned around. "It’s not fair. I apologised, I know you wanted to make a surprise, and it’s… it’s such a wonderful surprise, but you can’t tell it’s my fault only! I didn’t believe at first, but what could I do?"
"I know," Cal sighed, cooling off rather quickly, and pressed the girl against his body, cuddling Y/N softly. "I’m sorry," he closed the eyes for a moment. "I just got so upset that my surprise was ruined. It was such a long journey, and you found out like that. Accusing me as well," the guy left a short kiss on her soft cheek. "I love you. Y/N. I’d never cheat on you. You do realise I want you to be my wife?" Calum chuckled, and the smile was sincere.
"Now I do," the girl smiled a bit, still feeling a bit sad that she reacted like that and ruined the surprise. "I love you, too, Calum," the girl said and stood on her toes to kiss the musician on his lips.
"Does it mean you’ll marry me?" he asked through the kiss.
"It does," she cuddled Cal’s neck, once he took her on his arms.
"Y/N Hood, sounds good, huh?" The guys touched her nose with his and then laughed all of a sudden.
"Hey, what are you laughing at?"
"I’m just thinking that this could happen only to us, really," Cal sighed, smiling, and kissed Y/N again. "You know, I gotta admit, you’re extremely hot, when you’re angry. Even though you behaved like a brat."
"Uh, only I did?" the girl squinted, so the musician hurried up to apologise with a short kiss on her neck.
Apparently, that evening they both would never forget for several reasons.
Tumblr media
taglist: @dgrangaa, @gracieboogirl
– gifs aren’t mine and belong to the rightful owner, found them here @ghost-of-you – 
© writersdare | all rights reserved
All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡
Masterlist | Taglist
658 notes · View notes
nicksbestie · 8 months
Note
maybe y/n and Ashton having an argument? he seems like a really calm guy most of the time so it would be interesting to see how he is during a serious moment like that
Argument
word count : 1010
warnings : talks of alcohol addiction
enjoy!
<3
“Why do you keep doing this?! You keep shutting down and closing me out! I can’t help you if you won’t let me!”
“I told you! I don’t want to talk about it! You keep pushing me and I don’t want to! Yet you keep doing it!”
“Because I fucking care about you!” 
“I didn’t ask you to care about me!” 
Ashton spun on his heel, stalking out of the room and you could hear the front door slamming shut, knocking a picture frame off of the wall. You slid down the wall, sitting down. What had just happened? It was a stupid, hypothetical question. You knew exactly what had just happened. You’d tried, once again, to get Ashton to put down his drink and talk to you, but he wouldn’t do it. You didn’t even know the person you were in a relationship with anymore. He was completely taken over by addiction, and the fridge was never not stocked with strong liquor. 
You didn’t hate him, even though you maybe should. You wanted him to heal, you wanted him to cope, but he didn’t realize that he was just making everything worse. And while the aggravation of fighting with him hung heavily on you, the worry was worse. You hated fighting with him, especially because Ashton was downright scary when he was angry. With his broad frame it was terrifying to be on the receiving end, even though you knew he would never lay a hand on you. 
Luckily, he had left his location on, and when you noticed he was at Calum’s house, you sent him a text. It was late at night, and it wasn’t a long text, either. You trusted Calum to take care of Ashton. They had such a close bond, and you believed that if anyone could get through to him, Cal could.
12:31 AM : Please be safe. Get some rest. I love you.
*read 12:33 AM*
Checking your phone after showering to see Ashton had left you on read, you sighed, shooting off a text to Calum as well. 
12:50 AM : Take care of him. I’m heading to bed, but if you need me, call. Thank you &lt;3
*read 12:51 AM*
12:52 AM : I will. Getting him sober, and then we’ll talk. He’s staying here tonight, at least. He’s rambling about how upset and sorry he is for yelling at you, if that eases your mind. I’m the one who saw your text on his phone. He loves you too. See you soon &lt;3
Reading through Calum’s text really did help you relax, knowing that Ashton didn’t mean to start a fight, or to unintentionally hurt you. Hearing, or rather, seeing, the confirmation that he still loved you helped you sleep, when you finally did crawl into bed. You fell asleep still upset, but knowing that Ashton was in good hands made you much less anxious. 
You woke up to a soft knock on your doorway, having always been a light sleeper. Rubbing your eyes and sitting up, you saw a figure standing in your door, easily recognizing it as your boyfriend. You checked your phone to see the time, noticing another text from Calum that he sent earlier. 
9:45 AM : Ashton is refusing to stay here. I tried to stop him, he’s determined to fix things. I’m sorry if you still need space. I hope everything works out. 
You didn’t reply right that second, setting your phone down after realizing it was just past ten. You looked up, noticing Ashton hadn’t spoken, so you broke the silence. 
“How is your hangover?” 
He shrugged, not making eye contact. 
“Not terrible. Four out of ten.” 
You sat up, throwing back the blankets that were normally deemed as being on Ashton’s side. 
“You were an idiot, Ash. You drove drunk. I don’t care if it was just down the road to Calum’s. Rest assured that I am very angry at you.” 
The shame sunk into his face, along with a mixture of sadness.
“I know. Calum ripped me a new one this morning. And last night, too. I can’t believe I did any of that, including our fight. I’m so many different levels of sorry, and I know that won’t fix it, but I am.”
You could see just how guilty he felt and how much he was beating himself up for it, as while one part of you wanted to say he deserved it, the other part won. You patted the bed, motioning him over. 
“I’m angry beyond belief, and I don’t want you to think you’re off the hook here. However, I still love you, and I know you didn’t intend for this to happen. So come lay down, I’ll get some painkillers, and we’ll talk.”
The conversation lasted a few hours, and a conclusion was finally reached. Ashton swore he was going to get sober, and he got rid of all of the alcohol in the house. He called Calum, profusely apologizing for his actions the previous night, and thanking him for everything he did to help. He never wanted to see that look of fear and worry in any of his friends or loved one’s eyes ever again. 
Two years later, he hadn’t broken that promise. He was now two years sober, and was making consistent progress in his mental health, with the assistance of therapy. He knew he needed a better solution than drinking his problems away, but he hadn’t gotten that push to actually fix his behavior. 
At this point, you could look back on that struggling time in his life, knowing that he didn’t have to go through it anymore. He reminded you every day that you were one of his main reasons to stay sober, and his self control improved every day he didn’t touch a drink. All of the rest of the band were so accommodating, even doing a “Mocktail Chats” for their most recent album to make him feel more comfortable. All in all, things were, by far, better.
118 notes · View notes
carryonafi · 13 days
Text
where did the party go.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ashton irwin x reader; ANGST
a/n: heyyy lovers!! 2 posts in a row (almost) whaaat!! i’ve been working recently because i just went through my entire google docs and sorted everything out 😭 this is something i’ve been working on for quite some time now and requires a little bit of backstory. there will be another part to this series, and possibly a third? let me know if you want to hear about some of the key moments in the 2013–2016 period! so without further ado, this is part one of “where did the party go.”! 🤍
content warnings: sexual innuendos, heavy drinking, smoking, mentions of declining mental health
words: 2.4k
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
background: Your relationship with Ashton has been public ever since the beginning, starting in 2013 and continuing to flow and experience the life of 5 Seconds of Summer all the way until the band went on a break at the end of 2016. During those years, you took on the struggles that Ashton and the rest of the band faced which left them all having you as a permanent resident in their life. However, your relationship becomes rocky when Ashton refuses to communicate until the very moment he can’t take it anymore. His impulsive decision leads to you moving out, yet still being in his life because of the others and their friendship with you.
— POV: Ashton —
I could see nothing beyond her. Of course she would be here… of course. Heart stuck in my throat, I turned my attention away from her as soon as she started to look in my direction. We had ended. Months ago, yet I still couldn’t pull myself out of the mindset that she was still mine. I was still waking up next to her every morning, head on the fluffy pillow she claimed when we first moved in and hovering over the shadow of her figure in our bed. Yes, it was still our bed. It would always be. Everywhere I went she followed me whether it be the scent of the hair mist which stuck to the bathroom tile, the fluffy blankets she had chosen for the house, a few products left behind like she was coming back… she wouldn’t.
The music was bass heavy, rattling the table which in turn shook the floor and bounced off of the walls, reverberating in the guest’s ears. In the house I was suffocated, wanting and feeling like a beggar when I so much as looked her way.
“It’ll be like the iHeart Radio night all over again!” Michael made the comment, the rest of the group lightheartedly laughing despite the known tension. I left the circle almost immediately after that, not being able to bear hearing her sickeningly sweet giggle as she clung to any one of my friends besides me. I secretly wished the same, just over a year ago we were sharing smiles at each other and trying each other’s drinks, unable to separate as we made our way to the escort and back to the hotel in a blur.
The back porch brought an odd comfort to me, it was a change of pace from all of the lights inside. Calm, soft, warm yellow lanterns and fairy lights above proudly grown ferns. Although I did feel like an asshole for exiting at a time when people were talking to me, I just couldn’t handle the voices that weren’t her’s. I couldn’t handle her’s either. The vast green soothed me and the euphoria of a deep breath from a joint hit quickly, the blue smoke wandered together, then parted once hitting a certain point in the air. When it couldn’t carry the oxygen anymore. Familiar… Maybe. Maybe that’s why there were now tears obstructing my vision.
A sudden rush of consciousness and self pity struck my senses, cutting deep and forcing me to stand up off of the porch and make my way back inside the house within seconds. Hours felt like seconds and once enclosed, nothing was real. Not the people, not the music, not the house which was once our’s and now holding me alone, not the slow drift of which my rationality began to slip.
“Come on, Ash…”
She was real, though. Touching me, feeling for the stairs with her high heels, whispering words that I couldn’t understand— I went weak. I let her hold my weight, and her soft touch was replaced with a mattress. Clouds. Heaven. She was down with me, pitifully listening to me stutter apologies through tears and a lack of sobriety, begging her to let me hold her one last time before she found better. I mumbled with full confidence that I loved her. I loved nothing more than my weakness.
“I… I can’t.” She uttered those words which was the only blur I remembered hearing, it had to be the worst of it. Not her reassurance or her hushing my pathetic tears, I had to remember what she had pledged herself to. She wasn’t coming back.
Her dress was in my arms during the hours until I woke up, like she had vanished with all that was left being her clothing and a sweater missing from my closet. Everything came creeping in pieces, coming back with each step I took down the party soaked stairs. One led me to her hands, the next led me to her voice, breathing my name and encouragement to help me, then my knees led me to the hardwood of the living space. It was impossible to exist without thinking of her, from the moment I’d wake up it would be torture right away. I wasn’t lying next to her figure. I wasn’t waking up and rolling over to the side, her small, warm frame snuggling up to mine making soft hums and mews in her sleep. The smell of her hair, the freckles lightly dusting her cheeks and nose. All for me, just for me. Her morning voice, mumbling my name into my neck and chest as she desperately tried to get closer to my comfort. My arms enveloped her until she disappeared, then I remembered she wasn’t here again. She couldn’t.
When I walked around the house I imagined her happily skipping alongside me, dragging me over to the couch just to cuddle and burrow in the soft blankets for the rest of the day until one of us had to eventually finish a task.
No more fleeting kisses, no more shoulder rubs, no more long nails tracing my shoulder blades while my fingertips gave the same treatment to the dimples on her back and the dips in her hip bones. No more of her cheek pressed to my chest, arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace because she just didn’t want to let go. No more of the stubbornness which kept me smiling at how ridiculous she could be.
When I got home I would expect a long hug, she always stood on her tiptoes to hug me so her lips could meet my cheek.. or my own. Always warm, everything she possessed was warm. Her giggles, her lips, her voice, everything. Without her everything was just cold. I never rested comfortably because it was so, so damn cold.
I could feel her. Right there. The rise and fall of her chest, hips flush to mine as her soft, pink pout glossy with need stared up at me as a way to beg for attention. Her doe eyes, big and wanton silently telling me how much she needed my love, for my hands to trace her skin and plush valleys. For her small ones to grab mine tightly, tangle in my hair, whisper against my lips about how I needed a haircut before I shut down the sense of coordination for her thoughts with my hips meeting her thighs.
The days lulled by slowly without her there, I thought back to the night she left every single day. My words were not the right choice, she was willing to be there. She was willing to help me, but I didn’t think that something already broken could depend on something else the way I did to her. I had nightmares about the sounds of her heart wrenching, yet gentle sobs as I told her my thoughts. The promise ring still sat on my bedside table on her side just waiting for the day that I could really pull myself together and face her. My only weakness. My only reason, which could have been mine from the beginning if I was smarter. If I had worked harder.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Looking dapper, aren’t you?” Michael had noticed that I’ve been emptily staring into a mirror for what felt like forever. The abrupt sound of his voice pulled me from my thoughts as I blinked, looking at his reflection behind me.
“Oh, totally. Just can’t get enough of myself.” I replied in a sarcastic tone of voice, rolling my eyes as I smoothed a hand down the front of my suit. Award shows were fun, for the most part. A lot less stressful if we didn’t have a performance, we didn’t have to worry about becoming presentable once again. What can I say? We put our all into anything we play.
Michael grinned in a silent laugh at my reply, scrolling through his phone while Calum did the same and Luke was idle in front of the other mirror. He’d started wearing a lot of eye makeup, not that it was a bad thing. He was getting incredibly good at it, just to think a few years ago he barely felt comfortable putting on some chapstick in public. “Listened to Y/N’s new single yet? Pretty dope.” Michael hummed, nudging Calum’s shoulder to show him something on his phone which was presumably the cover or something… because he nodded in approval and made a comment that I didn’t hear. The sound of her name made me shiver, I took a deep breath and pulled myself away from the mirror to sit across from the others. Their conversation made no sense to me as I was still quite caught up in my own mind, my world of thoughts surrounding me about what this song could sound like. Would I ever listen to it? No, to save myself, probably not.
The one thing missing from this was her by my side again, squeezing my hand and holding on through the swamp of cameras and flashing lights. I could always remember her being the only thing I felt, in all of the chaos. I hadn’t even registered that we had made it out to the car and were sitting in the back already, I snapped back into reality again.
“You good, dude? You’ve been sorta spacey today.” Calum did the same as Michael did to him earlier and nudged my side, I defensively nodded and silently dismissed his worries. If I talked about it, I feared that it would all come out at once without being able to put a filter on my thoughts. Soon enough, we were back in that atmosphere again. Hopping out of the car and putting on an attitude towards the cameras but a different comfort for the fans who just wanted to see us up close, another car rolled in behind us after our driver had gone but I didn’t look. I started hearing her name again, hushed in comparison to all of the other desperate shouts and calls for attention. Fuck, wasn’t I lucky? I just had to keep moving, smiling, waving, making jokes and avoiding the mention of the girl haunting me.
This night was slow. So fucking slow, I just wanted to sit through this and get out of the venue as quick as possible. I wanted to go back to our bed, hold her knitted crop top up to my face and breathe in her scent which was long gone by now. However, we had to mingle. We just had to walk around and talk to people, I couldn’t leave by myself… it was worth a shot to try to enjoy the last few hours of the event. So far, I had been holding myself together pretty well and Luke stuck by my side to make sure I wasn’t left alone in my head. I knew he would do this for me, he wouldn’t hesitate to help me when I needed it. Even if I never vocalized it.
– POV: Reader –
There it was, the movie moment. The prolonged eye contact before an invisible pull drew the two closer to each other until they finally met in the middle, though that didn’t happen. You saw him from afar, shuffling alongside Luke and unable to hold eye contact. His hair was tame, but you knew it at its best. Thick, messy curls, damp from a shower, hanging over his lustful eyes at your favorite times, pushed back into one of your clips so they weren’t disrupting his focus. You knew the best of him, and you needed to see that again. It wasn’t you that ended things, but the chase after he realized his mistake hadn’t stopped until 6 months after you two ended. Bad idea, maybe? Your heels clicked along the tile, drowned out by the natural sounds of people laughing and congratulating, drinks flowing, claps on the back. You was drawn to him the minute Luke had pressed a hand to his shoulder and left his side.
“Hi.” One word that spoke a thousand all at once, Ashton turned with a look of… fear in his eyes. It didn’t go away when your eyes met, but his expression definitely softened.
“Hey, stranger.” He breathed, the soft ring of honey around his iris and between the forest green majority shrinking as his pupils dilated out of love. That was it, from the moment he spoke you knew that the pieces were already mended. There was healing. You bit your lip to hold in your smile, but you just couldn’t. It was contagious, Ashton shared a hesitant smile back with relief. ‘Are you upset with me? Have you forgiven me for making one of the biggest mistakes of my life?’ He wanted to ask, but better yet, your eyes told him more than enough. “I loved the song.” Ashton lied, he hadn’t listened to it.
“Oh, yeah?” You stared up at him, from the trouble he seemed to be having with eye contact earlier, he sure wasn't having any now.
“Yeah, you really deserve that nomination.” He mused, pupils darting up and down from the tip of your toes all the way up to your done-up, hairspray and product doused hair.
“I appreciate that.” You gave a warm smile, hands knitting together neatly in front of yourself. It wasn’t until you made eye contact again that you realized you were wearing his favorite color, his favorite cut– a nice baby blue tight around your hips and fanning out around your frame. Time was cut short, the award ceremony was starting in less than 10 minutes now.
Ashton cleared his throat, checking his watch. “We should… probably get to our seats.” He said softly, still lingering like he didn’t want to leave you behind.
You simply nodded in agreement, bidding him an awkward goodbye before stepping away and letting that invisible string loosen its hold.
The interaction left you slightly lost, even more lost than the moment you actually ended your relationship. It felt like walking away from an opportunity, the real embodiment of stepping away from a chapter in your life. Were you at peace? Maybe, but it was unfinished. You couldn’t sit through this award show, with performance after another the wait was getting more and more unbearable to handle
You needed to speak with Ashton, burn the bridge or rebuild it.
Where did the party go?
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Part 2: TBA
35 notes · View notes
completemessash · 10 months
Text
You Need Care (l.h.) - Part 1
notes: first luke one, yayyy!
it's multichapter again but it didn't feel right to put the smut right into the same post as this - i'm so mentally unstable lmao, sad stuff is the most fun to write tho, love sad stuff🥰😂
WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, depression, self hate, it's sad stuff and angst, fluff and no smut yet
xxx
"Please hurt me"
Luke's head snapped up.
"What?"
"Please hurt me", you repeated, your eyes showing no signs that you might be joking.
Your boyfriend's eyebrows furrowed as he sat up straight on the couch.
"What?", he asked once more, "Y/N -"
"Please", you almost whispered. You felt so anxious, you just wanted to cry and you wanted to feel something.
"I would never-", he stood up, walking the few steps over to you, "I would never do that, Y/N"
Luke took your hands in his, squeezing them when he immediately noticed the way you avoided eye contact and your lower lip was quivering.
"Talk to me", he said quietly, "What's going on?"
You started chewing on your lip, staying quiet as you shrugged weakly.
But Luke was patient, he waited until you were ready to talk, and he listened when you finally whispered: "I don't feel good."
He squeezed your hands in encouragement to keep ypu talking.
"And just... I... you know, pain makes me forget about the emotional pain, so I thought we could..."
"Y/N", Luke's serious expression made you bite your quivering lip, "Are you trying to insinuate that we have a painful sexlife for you to use it like self harm?"
"It's - Luke, it's not a 'painful' sex life"
"I know, I worded that weirdly", he smiled for a split second, "but you didn't answer my question"
And you continued to stay quiet, which was his answer.
"Y/N", he whispered, pulling you closer so you were standing in between his legs. He looked up at you for another moment, eyes glassy, then he wrapped his arms tightly around your middle and pressed his face into your tummy.
You expected him to let go again but he didn't. He just kept hugging you tightly, not moving an inch, not saying a word.
"Luke?", your voice quivered still.
He just shook his head and pressed himself closer to you.
"I want you to know", he finally said, well, mumbled into your belly, "that I would never ever hurt you. And you shouldn't want to hurt yourself. I understand you want that but you need care, not pain."
"Don't make me cry", you warned, voice barely a whisper. You knew he was right but you had never been cared for the way you craved, and when you had asked for it you had been pushed away, not taken seriously.
But now Luke was here and he wanted to give you all you wanted. All you needed. But you had never had someone like him your whole life and it scared you. Made you want to push him away.
You told him this and he nodded along. He understood you, he had feelings like that, too, sometimes.
"M gonna take care of you, baby", he whispered, big blue eyes looking up at you, "M gonna love you, I love you"
You bit your lip harder, breaking it a little even, as you let yourself be pulled down into Luke's lap on the bed and then turned around and laid down.
Luke immediately crawled next to you, his curly head laid on your chest, his cheek pressed over your heart, arm draped safely over your stomach and one of his thighs inbetween yours.
You both laid on the soft sheets for a while, not saying anything as your tears silently fell. Luke knew what you needed, he knew exactly what you needed.
And he knew when you had calmed down, relaxed enough so he leaned on his elbows, bracing you under him and began pressing featherly soft kisses onto your collarbones, shoulders, chin and neck.
He kept mumbling small "I love you"s and "you're so gorgeous, my beautiful girl" into your skin.
You felt weak but that was okay. Your boyfriend was taking care of you like no one ever had before.
You didn't know how to handle it, but Luke assured you that that was okay. "Just relax, I'll do everything, just lay here, baby", he said quietly. His smile as he said that was so genuine.
138 notes · View notes
bartxnhood · 1 year
Text
need you now | c.h
Tumblr media
calum hood x reader
summary: calum wonders if you think about him as much as he thinks about you.
part two to this. but can be read alone
warnings: angst, drinking, smoking, language, but happy ending !
a/n: everyone give my friends in slaysos gc a round of applause for helping create this masterpiece. hope you guys live this as much as i do. also i’m not a party person, literally never been and don’t plan so if i get some things wrong, oh well. this is pure fiction LMAO enjoy !
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2022 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵
“hey, it’s y/n. sorry, i missed your call, leave a message after the beep. bye!”
“hey, uh, it’s me, just been thinking about everything tonight and i don’t know… i just miss you so much. call me when you can. bye.”
calum was a tragedy. every night he would be out partying or at a bar. since the breakup, his addiction to partying had only gotten worse. he couldn’t remember much in the past two months. he had been partying so much, it was killing him. he’d call you when he was blackout drunk some nights, confessing how badly he had messed up and how he regrets everything. other nights, when he isn’t so drunk, he’d still call, apologizing for the drunk calls.
he was spiraling down a deep dark alley, and if he didn’t fix himself now, he’d never see the light again.
he didn’t know he continued to party and drink so much. but, he continued without thinking about the consequences. even if he knew how bad he was under the influence.
some nights were worse than others.
one night it got very out of hand.
it had been hours since the party had started and calum had one too many like he usually does but tonight was different. he was angry. angry at himself for letting you slip from his hands, angry he treated you like gum on the bottom of his shoe when he should’ve treated you like the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
they were hearing the same sappy story about how he regrets everything. luckily, everyone had left before his breakdown happened.
luke sat with his head hung, rubbing his temples. “calum, you’ve had too much. cmon man. just go to bed and we will clean up. it’s almost five a.m”
“oh fuck off, luke. you try to act like this savior but in reality, you just ruin everyone’s lives.” he belted, throwing the infamous red solo cup at him, and letting the drink spill. “cal, someone is here for you” someone said, standing at the patio door.
his eyes shot up, “is it her? is it y/n?”
“i don’t think so”
his eyes fell, of course, it wasn’t you. you swore off parties and hadn’t attended one since halloween. but when he saw miya appear, rage encapsulated him. “now why in the hell are you here?!”
she looked the same as she did that night they met when miya tried to make a move on him that few parties you didn’t show up to. of course, it hit a nerve. and so, he was yelling at her for even thinking about showing up. “cal, you’re being a bit over dramatic, dont ya think?” he hand trailed over his shoulder blade but he pushed her off. “don’t you touch me. you know what you did.”
it was getting out of hand now, calum was screaming his lungs out at miya while she just stood there, finally luke called the one person he knew who would help. you.
“hey, y/n, i’m sorry it’s so late…well early but calum is drunk, very drunk. can you come to get him? he’s causing a scene.”
“what? oh, jesus christ. yeah, i’ll be there in ten” you shut off your phone, immediately hopping out of bed and finding the closest hoodie and sweatpants then running out of your apartment.
your heart was racing, the drive was a blur. trying to get there as fast as you could to prevent another fight. of course, you still loved him. you were still in love with him, currently. you listen to every message he ever left on your phone.
your inbox was full of them.
you heard every heartfelt confession, every drunk apology, each sober apology.
of course, you still loved him.
you never stopped.
“thank you for coming.” luke swung the door open letting you slip inside, then walked through the trashed house. “he’s back here.” you looked through the patio doors, seeing where he was pointing, and then you spotted him, with her. miya. everything froze in time, luke was no longer there, and everyone else disappeared.
you pushed the door to the side, stepping over crushed cans and cups to his side. “calum?” your voice was small, not sure how he was responding to your sudden appearance if he’d lash out at you or fall silent and walk away.
he picked his head up, eyes locking with yours. calum stops whatever nonsense he was doing, which by context clues, you could guess he was having another drunken tantrum. he stares at you in disbelief, was this happening? are you actually standing in front of him? was he dreaming?
“y/n?”
he says your name and you ask him "cal, what's going on?" and his eyes glaze over a little bit just from hearing the concern in your voice. it was genuine concern, any drunk person could see it. not just him.
he only blinks in response, trying to figure out the situation. he just can't believe you're there at his party after you have sworn them off and it's for HIM. not anywhere else, but his house. he repeats, “y/n” a few times before his arms are wrapped around you and holding you tightly. he couldn’t let you slip away again.
you just let it happen and hug him back saying, "hey i'm here it'll be okay" and trying to calm him down. despite your best efforts, he pulls away looking at you. taking everything in. but you saw everyone staring at the two of you. including miya, who looked like she had a lot to say in the moment. you saw the anger burning in her eyes and hid her chest turned red.
you saw luke who was about to say something, so you put your hand out to stop him shaking your head silently.
you knew calum was feeling bad, so you opted to take him upstairs. “hey why don't we get you upstairs and into bed?" you gently held his arm and that calms him down. he let you lead him inside, away from the party. you stop to talk to one of the boys on your way in explaining you're gonna take him to bed.
“thank you for calling me. i’ll get him situated and come back to help you clean up.”
so you take him upstairs, trying your best to hold him up. calum was mumbling incoherent words as you guided him to the bed. and after doing the usual drunken cleaning up and caring for him like you used to, you took a step back. anxiety consuming your body, and confusion. but, thankful his friends called you.
you’ve read stories in articles about his nonstop parties, and the drunk scenes he made. he was a wreck. but, that’s how he was coping. you, on the other hand, have been the opposite, staying in every night watching sappy movies, crying yourself to sleep most nights, losing an appetite, and making excuses not to see sierra or crystal. isolation was the only way you could cope.
standing at the side of the bed, looking down at calum who was in an out of consciousness you begin to rub the bridge of your nose out of anxiety. your heart was racing, at loss for what to do. calum opens his eyes and sees this and starts getting upset again. he feels guilty that you had to go to another party for him, he rubs his eyes before speaking, “you shouldn’t have come. y’hate parties”. you drop your hands, “i had to. i was worried.” he saw it in your eyes, you were being genuine. “you’re scaring me, cal” by now, tears began pooling in your eyes, you took a breather trying to calm yourself.
knowing he's extremely drunk and emotional, you try to get him to bed without admitting to anything or saying something you don't actually mean. “scaring you?” he breathed, watching as you tossed his shoes to the floor. “yes. you’re killing yourself. im not just gonna sit by a key you do that”. maybe you were being a bit too emotional now, so you looked away trying to get your thoughts in order and finish getting him ready for bed. if he decides to sleep.
once you get him situated you left the room for a bottle of water. he probably wouldn’t notice you were missing. no one was left except luke and ashton, picking up the litter from the party. they all looked up in your direction hoping for any news but you just shook your head and left it at that.
you returned, half opening the bottle and sitting it next to him. calum is kinda staring at you in awe. he says "you’re always the one taking care of me and i never deserved it. you deserved so much better than me." knowing he's extremely drunk and emotional you didn’t let it get to you.
you look down chewing on the inside of your cheek. don’t let him do this to you, y/n. you kept thinking, he was drunk he didn’t mean anything. you stand up to leave, wanting to go home and scream into your pillow because he misses you so much. he reached for your hand, holding it so carefully, and spoke "stay with me.” you freeze, turning your head and you look torn so he adds "please? just tonight." while looking into your eyes and looking desperate.
so, you stayed. laying on the opposite side of calum, you heard his breath steady assuming he was finally going to sleep. until you heard “i love you.” you had only hoped that if you were still he’d leave it alone and would just go to sleep. but he continued. “when i left that morning, i didn’t stop. i never did. you’re my whole world, and i hate the person i’ve become. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but i screwed it up.” your heart was racing, picking at your nails you felt him shuffle next to you. “you were the best thing i’ve ever had and i let you go. ‘m sorry. you can hate me. i understand.” you waited a bit, but that was the last thing he said for the night.
you end up leaving before he wakes up, it was breaking daylight by now and you didn’t want to be there when he woke up. before leaving, you stood above him he looks so peaceful. naturally, you bent down and pressed the softest kiss on his forehead then exited the room. so, by eight a.m you were gone. on the way home, you have a small breakdown realizing the love was still there, and seeing him so vulnerable made your heart ache. but, you kept reminding yourself he was drunk. he probably didn’t even mean half the words he said.
later in the day, you had just finished your meeting now standing in your kitchen fixing a cup of coffee, until you were interrupted by a rhythmic knock. you sat the cup on your counter and walked over. but when you opened the door, calum was the last person you were expecting. “hey.” he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket. you stepped back, then saying “why are you here?” calum looked around. you hadn’t changed anything since he left. he didn’t know why you would change anything, but he expected at least something out of place. he shrugged, “i just wanted to thank you for last night, and everything.” you sighed, “come in” you stepped to the side and let him enter, then closed the door behind him. “do you want some coffee?” he sat down on the sofa, where the last fight happened. ouch.
“sure.” he answered, looking around the room. you came back with a black mug and handed it to him, and took your seat across from him.
his comment was abrupt. “i meant what i said, you know.” you looked up from your coffee, to meet with his eyes already looking at you. “what?” you blinked, placing the mug on the table. “last night. everything, i meant it. from me still loving you, to wanting ti spend the rest of my life with you. i meant every word.” he was being sincere, he held eye contact as he spoke and didn’t break it once. truthfully, you didn’t know what to say. the situation wasn’t ideal, and to be honest with yourself you knew you still loved him. “calum..” you finally spoke, followed by a long sigh and dropping your head into your hands.
“then why do you continue to do this? you’re drinking yourself to death, cal. how can i trust that you won’t do it all over again, even if i want to work this out?” calum contemplates, he sits back on the sofa searching for the right words. "i get drunk to forget the color of your eyes and the way your hair falls and how soft your skin is and the way your smile makes me feel; but it seems like the alcohol can't change my memory of you." he sets his mug down before saying, “i do it because it’s the only way i know how to cope and i know it isn’t the best way, but it’s all i know.” you crossed your arms, chewing on your lip. “and if that isn’t enough just tell me, and i’ll leave for good and you can go back to hating me.”
“i don’t hate you, calum. i was hurt. i could never hate you. not after everything we’ve been through” you rebutted. his eyes lit up. “you don’t hate me?” “no, i don’t. i could never hate you, cal” you saw him carefully reach for you hand and you let him. “y/n, i promise i’ll never do that again. i love you more than you’ll know. so please, just one more try?”
four months, three days, one hour.
that’s approximately how long it’s been since the wedding. since the day you both said ‘i do’ .
one year, four weeks, two days.
since he was at your doorstep apologizing for everything he had ever done to you.
you give him another chance, and it was the best thing you’ve done. he promised to love and cherish you forever. and he did exactly that.
the patio was decorated with fairy lights, faint music coming from inside and the two of you dancing to the music. he was humming quietly to the song, which was your first dance at the reception. “you know what?” he said to you.
“what?”
his hand on your back held you tighter. “you’re my favorite person, y/n.” he felt you chuckled softly, pulling your head from his chest. “yeah?” he nodded, “yeah.” he kissed your forehead.
“i’ll love you forever, even when i can’t.”
802 notes · View notes
lipringlrh · 2 years
Text
flash - lrh
summary: you try to take a picture of your boyfriend but forget the flash is on
an: feedback is appreciated. requests are open for anyone from 5sos :)
parings: luke hemmings x gender neutral!reader
word count: 546
warnings: none, just fluff & kissing:)
my masterlist
Tumblr media
you were sat in luke’s dressing room on the corner couch admiring your boyfriend as was adding the final touches to his hair and makeup.
He was wearing a lilac suit, the one you chose for the night. It was one of your favourites. You were somewhere in Europe, you hadn’t had the chance to explore yet - that would be tomorrow’s task. Tonight, you were focused on Luke and another one of the amazing shows he was about to perform.
He was messing with his hair in the mirror, curling it around his fingers. He was much too focused on getting it in the perfect position to notice you taking your phone out of your pocket and point it in his direction. He just looked too pretty to leave the moment without any proof of it.
You opened the camera app and clicked on the white photo button right as a blinding light came out the back of it causing your boyfriend to turn around to face you.
You brought your phone down and clicked on the photo you’d just taken, ignoring the blonde boy staring at you. It was a little blurry - it’d captured the moment as Luke began to turn around. For once you were grateful for live photos, playing through the photo you managed to get the photo you wanted - Luke looking pretty, staring towards himself in the mirror - and a frame at the very end you didn’t know you needed, Luke staring towards the general direction of the camera with a sort of head empty look on his face.
Luke had managed to wonder across the room with you being unaware of it, leading you to get a little fright from feeling of two hands on your waist. You looked up, once again becoming entranced in the blue eyes you were so in love with. “What was that for, baby?”
“What? Can I not take a photo of my beautiful boyfriend?” As you spoke, a faint red began to appear on Luke’s cheeks. He huffed, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips, followed by a few more. You let a hand rest on his cheek as you tried to deepen the kiss. You felt an arm wrap around your waist pulling you almost impossibly closer.
You were both wrapped up in each other, trying to get as much of each other as possible. Too enamoured with each other to hear the first few sets of knocks on the door. The knocks were repeated with a shout, who you recognise as Ashton, to hurry up as it was time to get on stage.
Luke broke the kiss to shoot back a muffled “coming” before pressing three light pecks to your lips. “I’ll see you after?” he mumbled leaning in for another kiss.
“I’ll either be here or near the stage. I’ll find you.” He nodded, pressing one last kiss to your lips and mumbling a small, “bye baby.”
He walked out the room with a small wave as you shouted a last, “good luck!” You sat down with a smile before pulling out your phone to stare at the recent photo you took a few minutes prior, becoming more and more excited to watch Luke perform.
—-—-—-—-—-—-
feedback is welcome and appreciated. please send in any requests about any 5sos members :)
515 notes · View notes
getsojaded · 2 years
Text
pre-show playlist || calum hood
Tumblr media Tumblr media
word count: 1.9k+
warnings: swearing
a/n: draft while i write mini series :) not entirely sure why atlanta is the first city that came into my head but it was so if ur from atlanta this one’s for u LOL. also, was actually lol’ing at the fake stan twt tweets i had to make LOLOL
“Thank you, Atlanta! I love you!” Are the last words you yell into the mic, heading off the stage before the lights go out.
It had been your first show of your world tour after Covid had put the world at a temporary pause, and needless to say, your adrenaline levels were going through the roof. If there’s one thing you loved most, it was performing for the people that love and appreciate you for what you do.
“You fucking killed it! Congrats Y/N,” one of your team members exclaimed, rushing to give you a hug. “Thank you,” you sighed, leaning into their hug. You missed this, you missed travelling the country by tour bus, soundchecking old songs that made your fans go crazy and answering their question, and you missed having your favourite people standing by your side as you did what you valued and appreciated so deeply.
Things were slightly different though, and you couldn’t help but take notice of them.
Calum was by your side your last tour, engulfing you in a big hug and kissing your forehead the minute you got off stage. He was there to help you choose your outfits for each show, to take you to the best restaurants and coffee shops in each city for the minimal hours you spent there, and to give you those loving and reassuring words whenever you got those last-minute butterflies before performing.
You loved Calum, and Calum loved you — there was no doubt about that. But as much as you loved the tour life, it wasn’t easy. Not only was that complicated, being in the spotlight, along with your love, was one of the hardest things you had ever had to do through.
With fake news articles that drew too much attention towards you two, to scheduling conflicts that led to unsolved arguments, to the fans.. that were just being fans (you know.) — it got too much to handle. For the both of you.
So when you started using Google Maps to find five star cafés, taking a bit too much time to decide what outfit to wear, and breathing in and out for longer periods of time before you hopped on stage, you realized that you’d need some time to adjust to the new aspects of touring. And quite frankly, you hated it. You missed it. You missed him.
You missed the way he’d hold you at night in your shared bunk, telling you “Sleep well, you did an amazing job”. You missed the way he’d drag you out of bed to take a daily mirror selfie in the bus, determined to have a photo from each city you visited, and you missed the way he’d-
“Okay, that’s enough,” you whispered to yourself, shaking out of your thoughts and getting up from the couch you were sitting at, taking a moment to regain your energy.
You walked up to the full body mirror in your dressing room, snapping a quick photo before posting it to your Twitter account.
y/ny/l/n: atlanta i fucking loved u, thank u. excited to see the rest of u on tour. x
Within seconds you were getting likes, retweets and replies on your tweet. You took a quick moment to change into comfy clothes and exit the venue, as it was now time to relax on the tour bus.
You opened up your phone onto the Twitter replies to scroll through the replies, and like and respond to a few.
killedmytime: THIS FIT IS SO FIRE
calumsboba: you did amazing y/n!!
yungy/n: bro i lost my phone at the concert i’m tweeting off my laptop rn
You giggled at the last one, responding with “drop ur venmo i got the next one” before continuing to scroll through your mentions and notifications.
disconnectedvol6: @Y/NY/L/N DID YOU PURPOSELY PUT MOVING ALONG ON THE PRE SHOW PLAYLIST
whywontuluvme: @/disconnectedvol6 BRO I WAS THERE EARLIER AND EVERYBODY IN PIT WAS FUCKING LOSING IT WHEN IT PLAYED
wfttwtafff: i’m going to cry @y/ny/l/n is still so supportive of calum even after they broke up
outofurlimit: i’m fucking SCREAMING SHE HAD THE AUDACITY. MOVING ALONG TOO?
heartbakegirl: i cant believe u put moving along on the playlist omfg divorced parents <;/3
Oh God.
Okay, maybe it was just your fans in your responses that took notice of your ex boyfriend’s band’s song. You quickly searched up “y/n calum” and immediately groaned at the loads of tweets regarding your show, that song and that playlist.
notinthesameways: i almost fucking peed myself when i heard moving along i wonder if calum knows y/n put it on her playlist
y/nswildflower: i miss calum and y/n omg
dontstoppa: bro let’s talk abt the fact that out of every song y/n chose the one that’s literally about a breakup AND calum wrote it girlie knew what she was doing
Contrary to that last tweet, you actually had no idea what you were doing!
You didn’t mean for 5SOS’ song to play before your show started. In fact, you hadn’t even made a specific pre-show playlist — you just decided to use your “currently”. Which… has Moving Along on it and with your luck, of course it came on shuffle.
Yes, you listened to their new album. Yes, you thought it was fucking spectacular. Yes, Moving Along was your favourite song off the album because not only does Calum’s verse get your heart throbbing but it also makes you wonder if you popped up into his mind while he was writing it.
And yes, you added it to your on repeat playlist because you couldn’t stop listening to it.
You couldn’t help but wonder if he had done the same thing with your album: thoroughly listen to it, fall in love with it more and more everytime, and add his favourites into his liked songs.
You also couldn’t help but wonder what he’s up to right now. Was he preparing for touring, just like you? You hadn’t seen any posts in regards to shows from their band account, along with the four boys’.
And now you were wondering why the hell he was giving you a call, your heart skipping a beat once you saw the contact name Hood xo appear on your screen, along with his contact picture of you, him, and Duke.
“What the fuck,” you whispered, letting it ring a couple more times before you picked up the phone. “Uh, hi.”
“Hi, Y/N. Good to talk to you again.”
“You too.”
You were scared. You were scared and you’ve never been put in the position of not knowing what to say to him, except now. As much as you tried to say more in response to him, no words would come out.
“You know why I’m calling you.” He simply stated, sounding a lot more confident than you had expected, which took you by surprise.
“Caught me lacking, huh?” You asked, earning a soft giggle from Calum in response. “Okay look, I didn’t even mean to play it before my show. I gave your album a listen when it first dropped and I was like wow this shit is good so I added one of my favourites onto my playlist and I used that specific playlist so I didn’t even think about it and-“
“I’m really glad you listened to the album.” He simply states, your heart skipping a beat as you bring your hand up to cover your mouth. “And I’m glad you found a few favourites on there.”
“Yeah, you guys did so well on it.” You’re nervous. You’re fucking nervous, and you have no idea how Calum is handling this conversation as well as he is. Despite the pit in your stomach, your curiosity got the best of you. “D-Did you listen to mine too?”
“‘Course I did. Fell in love with it, baby.” Your heart flutters at the sound of the pet name that falls out of his mouth, feeling the nostalgia and intimacy his voice is laced with. “Thank you,” you respond just above a whisper, before the line fills with silence. Slightly awkward silence.
Calum doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up. Especially after such a wholehearted, sweet conversation. But he has some questions, and doesn’t want to end this call with unfinished answers.
“I miss you. I miss us.” He confesses, tears threatening to spill from his eyes and he silently thanks himself for only clicking on an audio call, and not a FaceTime one.
“I know.” You respond as quiet as possible, not risking to hear crack in your voice. “I do too. It’s not the same without you here. Tour’s different. I caught myself thinking about you every time I noticed something was off.” You say to him honestly, unaware of the aching in his chest that you caused. He hated the thought of your emotions shifting negatively because of him, and if he could, he would do everything in his power to reverse it if it meant you were happy.
“What happened to us?”
“Cal…” You sigh. You felt this question coming, but you weren’t prepared to answer it. “You know what happened to us. It was just... circumstances, and time.” Was all you could say, with complete honestly.
“Well, what about now? What do the circumstances and time have for us now?” He asks you in a low voice. You shake your head and laugh at the irony of that follow up question, rubbing your forehead with your hand.
“Well, I’m still on tour, so it looks like not much has changed.” You respond, earning a chuckle from Calum. “Shouldn’t you be heading off on tour too?”
“Taking a break first. Don’t really know why, Ashton suggested that we break first before touring and we all just kinda went with it.” He responds. “When’s your LA show?”
“Last show of the tour. Then it’s me time. Staying in LA for quite some time, then gonna try and go back to hometown for a bit.”
“What would you do if I asked you if you were okay with me going there?” He asks, with the slightest bit of hope. It’s worth a shot, he tells himself. It’s worth a shot if it has anything to do with you.
“Then, I’d tell you that I’d love to have you at my last show. Do you want to be there?” You tell him, with a smile planted across your face, unaware of the smirk forming across his as well. “Nothing else I want more than to be there, love.”
“I guess I’ll be seeing you then?” You ask, trying to sound as confident as possible, but you’re well aware that Calum can see (more like, hear) right through your façade. “Let’s see where the circumstances and time take us this time around.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.” “Me too.”
The line falls silent once again, but now it’s comfortable. A silence that warms your heart and calms you down. A silence that eases your mind and relaxes your body.
“Oh, and Cal?” You speak up.
“Yes?”
“Let’s not let the circumstances and time fuck us over again. I’d rather not let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me a second time around.”
“You are the last thing I’m ever gonna lose again, baby. Mark my words.”
674 notes · View notes
saucymalum · 11 months
Note
You said you wanted requests so here I go (you don’t have to write it) can you write an enemies to lover with Ashton (because that’s the best trope for him) where he finally makes y/n cry. And he goes to apologize and admits his feelings…..k bye 💖
What's This? (Consequences of my Actions) A.I
Tumblr media
Ashton Irwin x Gn!reader (they/them pronouns)
Word Count: 2.6k
I am so goddamn sorry this took almost a YEAR. I finally made it tho!
I always knew he hated me. He didn’t hide it. He didn’t like that I was “Invading” his friend group. That I was getting along with them. He didn’t like me. It infuriated me how he acted like he was better than me. All I wanted was to be his friend and he didn't give me a chance. I couldn't understand how he could hate me for no reason. So I gave him a reason.
 I tried to annoy him every time I could. He didn’t want me at a party so badly he would text me to not come and I’d arrive early with baked goods. He didn’t like me tweeting about his band so much that he’d intentionally be the only member not following me? I tagged them all in every tweet. I became his hell. Did I hate him? No. But I hated that he treated me like he was better. Like I was insignificant. 
To the fans, I was their biggest fan. I’d cover their newest songs on my Instagram story and take pictures in their merch. Some thought I was even dating one of them, which was almost laughable. I truly loved them all. The party's welcoming environment they created pulled me in as Ashton stood in the corner. His hazel eyes look almost black in this light as he watches my every move. Watching me talk to everybody while he tries to keep up the small talk and savors his lemonade. His eyes left a burning trail down my skin. It became a game for me, how far I could push him.
I’d try to ask him questions in conversations, simply because I knew he didn’t want to talk to me. And that's when my plans started to crumble. I liked the guy. I thought he was fucking funny. Being antagonizing was so much easier when I didn’t know him. I wanted to be the asshole's friend. I kept trying to keep up my game, but I failed every time unless it was social media. It’s easy to fake things there. So I did.
I ignored my emotions, my guilt, and the rising feeling that I refused to acknowledge. I posted pictures of myself at their concerts; I posted their songs on my story. I was a good friend, but I avoided Ashton. And at the end of the day, it didn't matter much to him if I showed up to the parties. I saw the glares he’d given me that made me want to laugh in his face. I missed not knowing him.
I started showing up early at parties and sneaking out early. I’d avoid Ash even if I felt his eyes burn me. It seemed fine until he caught on. 
I sat at their album release celebration, an hour in, and I zoned out and stared at a wall. People passed by and I sat drinking my now warm beverage. Blurs of people, laughing, smiling, dancing, pass around me. I can't believe I did this to myself. 
The seat beside me dips and I look to see Luke looking expectantly at me. One eyebrow raised slightly and his blonde hair growing out from the bleach.
"What's wrong?"
"What makes you think something's wrong?" I laugh nervously.
He sits there, giving no answer, knowing i’ll break. And I do. 
I spilled everything, beginning to now. Frustration pours out every word as the temperature in the room seems to rise. I don't want to be here anymore.
Luke sighs and I feel shame replace my relief.
"Why would you do this to yourself Y/N?"
"I DIDN'T WANT THIS! I JUST WANTED THE STUPID LITTLE PRICK TO BE HUMBLED. Or at least annoyed enough to stop being a dick." my breaths shake for a second "In no universe was THIS my plan. "
I fall into the back of the couch. "What do I do?" 
"Talk to him."
I groan, "I forgot you're a 'communication is key' person" 
Luke lightly shoves me, "So are you until you get scared and run away. You can't run away this time. Avoiding him means avoiding us and you know that." 
“I know.” 
“So what do you think you need to do?” He asks softly.
I take in a deep breath and straighten my back. My eyes find Ashton chatting up so girl in the corner. I let my feet guide me to him and without a word, too scared to speak, I grab his jacket and pull him out onto the back porch.
“What the Fuck, Y/N?”
“What is your problem with me? You refuse to talk to me, You hate my presence, and you constantly make an effort to show me you think im less than you. Why?”
“Maybe because you do shit like you just did without thinking about how it’d affect me.”
I scoff, “What a cop-out. You’ve hated me from the beginning. I want you to tell me why.”
He creeps further into my personal space. His height becomes increasingly harder to ignore when he looms over me. His breath fans over my face, and I want to cringe at the warmth.
“Has it ever occurred to you in your self-centered little head that not everyone likes you? You’re not some god or goddess Y/n. You grate my veins and you enjoy it. You TRIED to annoy me and you’re confused why I don’t like you? How into yourself can you be?”
Electricity pricks at my skin and the back of my eyes burn, “Don’t act like you didn’t hate me from the get-go Ashton. I know what it feels like to be disliked.”
“Then why does it bother you so much if i don’t like you? Huh? Sweet little Y/N just wants to be loved and cherished by everyone, isn't that right?” My breath shakes as the back of his hand brushes against my cheek. “Well, life doesn’t work like that. Some people will hate your grating voice and some people can't STAND your GODDAWFUL laugh. So get over it and be a fucking adult about it. Stop being a little baby.” 
WARNING: description of a panic attack, stay safe and skip to the end of the trigger warning <3
He steps back and I quickly escape the cold night that suffocates me. My throat closes in on itself and my eyes water.  I can’t breathe, I can’t BREATHE. I try to drag in breaths, but the effort is beyond fruitless. Through my watery eyes and past the blur and dizziness, I walk to the bathroom. I need to escape. I need to GET OUT. Everyone hates me, such a stupid baby who can’t even handle a man not liking them. How pathetic can you get? Everyone's eyes are on me. They’re laughing at me, aren’t they? I bet they are. The bathroom door’s soft close sounds like a thunderclap in my ears but that thunderclap is the most comfort I have felt since Luke and my conversation ended. My ears are ringing. I don’t know what to do. 
I sink to the floor, and my back hits the cold tile, shocking my skin through my thin shirt.I've prepared for this. Ok, just find something you can smell. Ok, I can that. My mind wanders into my negative talk but quickly it snaps to the smell of the Febreze air freshener going off. 
Good, good. One down four more to go, I can see the design in the ceiling, that's another. 
My lungs slowly feel less pressure on them, not a semi-truck but maybe a minivan. I can hear yelling outside the door, maybe someone knocking, it's so hard to hear when I feel like I'm underwater. 
I can feel the tile under my fingertips, the cold feels nice against my skin, the hot trails the tears leave sting and I almost want to press my face into the floor to cool them. 
The sweet drink still lingers on my tongue. Good, I got all five. Now breathe. It's so hard when the hiccups interrupt but I practice these exercises every day. 
The weight on my chest slowly releases and the tears go dry. I'm left exhausted.  I want to go home. The room goes steady and I slowly stand on shaky legs.
I avoid the mirror as I cool my hands in the water flowing in the sink and press them to my cheeks.
WARNING OVER: Stay safe, loves.
The yelling outside gets clearer when I open the door, the house has been cleared away of any guests and the pounding of my heart gets a bit louder. Luke stands in front of Ashton yelling at him, words I barely have the energy to decipher. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you right now, Ashton? You are a grown-ass man. What the hell would possess you to think talking to someone like that was ok?” Luke stands next to Sierra. She shoots a disappointed look at Ashton, but he ducks away. 
“Oh don’t give me the disappointed parent act.” He scoffs.
Ashton walks over to the couch, closer to me, and I press my back closer to the bathroom door that I closed.
Luke chases after him, “Well, if you didn’t act so immature, maybe I wouldn’t have to Ash! What were you thinking!? You barely know her and you already decided to chase her away?”
“If she didn’t want me to hate her maybe she could have tried to not do everything I hate on purpose.”
“You gave them a panic attack! Nothing they did made them deserve that. We just want you to explain. Can you please just let us understand?”
Ashton pauses putting on his jacket and sighs, “I’m scared, ok?” 
“Of what?” 
“Luke, they remind me of Lacy, and I can’t get hurt like that again.” He turns around and his eyes meet mine. Shock and remorse fill his eyes, but he brushes past me and bolts for the door.
I take a shaky breath in and look at Luke and Sierra. “Luke who’s Lacy?”
We sat in the living room of Luke and Sierra’s house as they tried to explain it in the most delicate way. But really, how can you explain to someone that they reminded a person they considered an enemy of their dead girlfriend? That they reminded someone they thought hated them of someone they were in love with? I didn't think I could cry anymore. I was wrong. I reminded Ashton of a love that was ripped away from him. I hurt him by being around him.
I wanted to be mad at him. Hurt him for punishing me for something I had no part in but I couldn't. 
I just wanted to go home and never leave.
And that's what I did. I stayed in bed, emotionally exhausted and numb. My self-destruction hit me like a brick, canceling my therapy appointment for the next day and turning my phone to do not disturb.
Ashton’s POV:
No one had heard from Y/N in almost a week. Seeing their face when I left made me feel like I swallowed a brick. A part of me felt glad that finally, FINALLY, they would feel just a sliver of what they've made me feel for months.
But the guilt…the guilt at that thought overwhelmed my brain quickly after. What kind of person would that make me to want someone to hurt the way I have? Even if it was someone who hurt that doesn't make it ok. 
This guilt led me straight to Y/N's front door. My hand hovered over the door. What was my plan when I got here? I don't think I even gave myself time to make one. 
Before I could attempt to knock on the door, it swung open with the image of Y/N's dark-circled eyes staring shocked at me. 
"Oh Jesus!" they exclaim and hide behind the door a bit. The wrinkles in the pajama shirt clinging to parts of their body. A small smile creeps into the corner of my mouth at seeing them again. To see that they were at least still alive and kicking.
"I'm so sorry to just show up like this!" I step away from the door, giving them some space. "I want to check in."
Their bottom lip moves between their teeth as they chew at the loose skin. A mental debate wars on behind their eyes, no doubt wondering who asked me to come here.
"Who blackmailed you?" they ask.
A hesitant silence floats between us as I wonder if it'd be wrong to tell the truth.
A sigh passes my lips. "I felt bad."
Their eyes quickly widen again as they forget the effort to hide themself behind the door. They rush the 2 feet to me and place a hand on my arm.
"No! No, you have nothing to be sorry for! I was a goddamn asshole, Ashton! Why didn't you slap me earlier? I was so arrogant and antagonistic towards you. I can't believe it. You did nothing but try to avoid me because you were hurting and I made it ten times harder."
"Y/N, I said horrible things to you. I felt like a villain. I never want to feel like that again. I am so sorry for talking to you like that." My shoulders sink in a subconscious effort to get down to their level. To look them straight in the eyes. To maybe show them all the emotions that I felt the moment I left Luke's house."
Y/N sighs and releases my arm from their grip. They step out of the doorway, a silent invitation. Luckily, I'm not a vampire.
"Ash, what you said was true. I can't fault you for saying the truth."
How could they think that? That anything I said was true, calling them such stupid names in order to belittle them and make them feel small? What have I done?
“Nothing, and I mean nothing, I said to you was true. Yes, I was hurt and yes how you treated me didn’t help but none of it was true and keep telling you otherwise until you believe.”
They look away from my eyes to the ground. “Well, that's gonna take a while since I thought all of those things about myself long before you told me.” 
A sour feeling rises in my stomach. Everything in me wants to protect them.
“Well, I’ll be here every time you doubt me.”
They scoff, “Like you’ll call me at 3 in the morning.”
“Who says I won’t” I shrug.
Their eyes glaze over with tears as they look hopefully into mine, “This isn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. I didn’t want us to hate each other.”
They turn away from me, busying themselves in front of their kettle. “I wanted to stop that stupid game months ago.” 
My eyebrows wrinkle quizzically, “Then why didn’t you?”
“I couldn’t admit to myself I had feelings for you.”
Their shoulders tense quickly and the spin around to me, “Not that I’m pressuring you at all, I swear. I just-I just had to let you know I didn’t want to hurt you like this.”
“But you did mean to hurt me?”
“I thought you saw me as less than you. I wanted to prove you wrong. Now I know I was the one in the wrong.”
“Y/N I thought you were amazing. I was stupid and thought if I avoided you I wouldn’t fall for you.” I step forward into their space, “I didn’t think I could handle it.”
“Did you?” 
The space between our bodies shrinks til we’re breathing the same air.
“Yes,” I whisper, my hand gravitating to their hip.
“And can you handle it?” 
“With you, I think I’ll be more than fine.”
80 notes · View notes
Text
staged romance | luke hemmings x actress!reader
summary: when you get the role of a lifetime, luke struggles to support you when he finds out who your scripted love interest is 
word count: 10.8k
warnings: misogyny, arguments, drinking, jealousy, swearing, mentions of cheating, angst
author’s note: the title of the movie/book and the show were smth i made up on the fly so it’s not to be affiliated w other books/movies that are called that lol, it’s all a coincidence. this is also not proofread!
second author's note: the last bit was rushed in the end but let me be clear! my intent was to portray a loving realistic relationship with healthy communication of feelings and borders. of course, things like that are tough to convey in a one-shot alone. talks of jealousy and cheating is heavily mentioned throughout the text, but it is not my intent to make luke appear toxic or y/n seem unfaithful. the two are in a healthy relationship that gets plagued by jealousy, insecurities, and stupid social media! i, in no way, shape, or form, condone toxic relationships and try my best to let that show in my writing. please consult a trusted loved one if you are experiencing a toxic relationship. i love yall and hope the best!
happy reading lovelies <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“I’m sure you boys are incredibly busy now more than ever,” the interviewer said, referring to the band’s many new surprises in store. “I can’t help but wonder what you guys are most excited about.”
Luke was nodding along to the woman, barely paying attention and silently hoping for the interview to end faster. Ashton had always teased Luke for having a blank stare during these interviews and the fans have caught on, too, but he couldn’t help being bored talking about the same things over and over again. 
“So busy,” Michael agreed, taking the reins on the question. “We’ve got new music coming out, we’ve been working nonstop to release them and film music videos, too. Not to mention our tour coming up in a couple of months. But to speak for the boys, I think we’re all pretty excited to have our music featured in a movie.” 
Ashton was quick to chime in. “Yeah, we’ve worked real hard on this one, we were in the studio for hours trying to perfect it and we hope we did the movie justice.” 
The interviewer shifted through her binder of notes and questions. “It’s safe to say everyone is stoked to hear it in theaters,” she concluded. “But the question that’s been on everyone’s minds is, Luke, how do you feel about writing a song for a movie your girlfriend is the face of? Could you walk us through that process?” 
Calum quietly nudged Luke in the side, bringing his attention to the woman sitting before them. “Oh yeah,” Luke coughed, readjusting his posture in his chair. “I’m super excited to help bring this story to life, it’s been a real journey to go through the entire process of it all. I’m especially proud of y/n for getting the lead role, it’s been a dream of hers to get this far and I’m so lucky to have her in my life and watch her grow as an actress.” 
“Aw,” Ashton leaned into his mic, making the boys laugh. “So cute.” 
“Very cute,” Luke retorted with a small smile. “She’s great and definitely deserves this role; she’s worked so hard on it and it really shows on the screen. As for the music, I agree with Ash when he said we worked our asses off on it. y/n definitely put in a lot of input on this one, not actually, but she was a great inspiration throughout the writing and producing process.”
Michael grinned at his friend, picking up his mic. “He’s downplaying it,” he quipped. “When the producer reached out to us to write something up for the movie, Luke was really into it. I mean reading through the tidbit that the producer sent us, rereading the book the movie was based on, all of it. Out of the four of us, Luke was really the one who took the wheel on this project and y/n was a big part of the reason why.” 
Luke turned red at Michael’s explanation, but it was true. He was ecstatic to hear they wanted 5 Seconds of Summer to add to their soundtrack, and he was even more excited to hear it was for the very movie you just received the lead role for. You both found out the news on the same day and were over the moon excited. 
“I got the part!” you yelled, running down the hall to Luke’s office with Petunia following close behind you. “Babe! I got the part-”
Luke swung the door open, a look of disbelief on his face. “They want us to write a song for the movie,” he announced. 
Your eyes were wide at his news. In an instant, you jumped into his arms and he caught you, spinning you around as you both let out shouts of joy. Luke peppered kisses down your face and neck, anywhere he could reach, in pride. 
“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he told you earnestly. “I’m so so proud of you. You earned this!” 
“We earned this,” you corrected him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling into a kiss.
“Guilty,” Luke sheepishly admitted to the interviewer. “I love my girl, what can I say?”
The woman let out a chuckle before getting back into the interview. “All the fans are happy to hear that,” she told him. “Last question and it’s for Luke again;  so Michael said that you read the book for “What Lies Between Us,” and so you probably know that there are a couple explicit scenes in there, particularly between the lead and her love interest, played by Harry Styles. We all are very aware of your past with One Direction, having toured with them and gaining your fame through the tours. How do you feel about your girlfriend and friend coming together for these intimate scenes?” 
The boys “oohed” immaturely as Luke blushed, shaking his head. You had already told him there would be scenes like that in the movie, not because he was jealous or would prevent you from doing them, but just to be open with him. After a discussion, the both of you were on the same page about the scenes, agreeing that it’s just work and holds no value offset. 
“Yeah, n/n told me about them,” Luke chuckled, taking a sip of water. “And I don’t have anything to say about them. y/n is a great actress and so is Harry. They’re respectable workers and take their job seriously. I trust them both, not that that matters.” 
“Well said,” the interviewer applauded. “So even beyond the explicit scenes, do you mind that they will be portraying lovers throughout the film?” 
Luke set his water on the ground. “I mean, who doesn’t love Harry Styles, he’s handsome,” he joked playfully. Luke’s crystal blue eyes stared deeply into the camera. “No, I don’t mind at all. It’s all for the movie. Styles may have my girl in the morning and afternoons, but at night she’s mine to hold to sleep.” 
Luke entered the bedroom, sighing loudly as he hunched over to throw off his shirt. You had been laying there waiting for his arrival home, reading over your agenda and going over your lines in your pajamas under the covers. Petunia was sleeping soundly at the foot of your bed, unbothered by his usual antics. 
“You’re home late,” you mused, setting your pen down. “Everything okay, bub?” 
Luke moaned and groaned while kicking off his dress pants and replacing them with his more comfortable pair of sweatpants, eventually falling face down onto the bed. You giggled at his dramatics, your hand going to play through his blond curls. He relaxed at your touch as he reached for your hand and kissed it softly. 
“Do you think Harry is more handsome than me?” he asked, eyes peering up at yours. 
You raised your eyebrows curiously. “Do you want the answer of a 1D fan since high school or the answer of your loving girlfriend?” you joked. You and Luke both knew how deep your love for One Direction was as a teenager. He loved to tease you about your posters and t-shirts, not to mention the Harry Styles cardboard cutout you received as a birthday present one year.
Luke let out another grumble as he rolled onto his back. You scooted forward to rest his head on your lap. “Both,” he decided. 
You hummed, resuming your twirling of Luke’s hair. “Well as your girlfriend,” you began. “I think you are the most handsome man to ever walk this planet.” 
“And the 1D fan?” he begrudgingly asked.
You took your finger and softly traced along the bridge of his nose, trailing down to his jawline. “I think Harry Styles is very very handsome,” you answered. Watching Luke scrunch his nose in childish jealousy, you leaned in closer. “But I think the lead vocalist of the band that opened for One Direction was way better looking, sweeter, and all around so much better,” you whispered as though you were letting him in on a secret. 
Luke pushed you away, sighing loudly once again as you threw your head back in laughter. “That’s the girlfriend speaking!” he whined. 
“We’re one and the same, Lu,” you scolded playfully, reaching for your boyfriend. “Just because my seventeen year old self was too obsessed with Harry doesn’t mean I don’t love you and find you all the more attractive now.” 
Luke let out an unconvincing huff, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What’s gotten into you, bub?” you asked, concern taking over your curiosity. 
“The interview was all about you and the movie today,” he responded, tucking himself into bed and taking his spot beside you, nestled warmly in your chest. 
You snorted, resting your hand back into his hair. Not only were his curls extremely soft at the touch and soothing to play with, you knew -while he would never admit it aloud- Luke loved when you played with his hair. “Didn’t realize I was a tough topic to talk about,” you jested. 
Luke rolled over so he was practically laying half of his body on yours. “Nooo,” he said, voice muffled by your shirt. “You know I love to talk about you, baby. It’s just I got a question about you and Harry being love interests.” 
You stiffened, clearly caught off guard. “Oh,” you could only muster out. 
The musician nodded, burying himself into your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist. “People can be so annoying sometimes,” he huffed in frustration. “Why would I care if my girlfriend is playing Harry Styles’ love interest? It’s not like it changes anything between us or between me and Harry.”
“It’s because people are misogynistic and gross,” you explained with an equally upset frown. “Just because I’m a woman in the film industry, they think I’m going to fling myself at any man I act with. It was the same for my last movie. I don’t understand why people are so quick to judge and point fingers.” 
Luke lifted his chin and cupped your cheek affectionately. “I’m so sorry this is what you have to deal with everyday,” he apologized. “It’s bullshit, and I’ve made it crystal clear that you should be respected and valued for your work, not who you kiss or whatever on the screens.” 
“You can always shut down the questions if they ask you,” you reminded him. “You don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable.”
Luke bit his lip in thought, a habit you found adorable and mesmerizing to watch. “But I’d rather answer these questions and stop the narrative about actresses and showmances. It’s not fair for you guys to be scrutinized about your love lives and image while male actors never get those kinds of questions.” 
Your lips trembled in awe of Luke’s small rant. You had never felt so loved and appreciated by the man like you did right now. He was ever a gentleman in a world of childish boys. “You know I love you, right?” you asked him with a tearful smile. 
Luke raised his thumb to the corner of your eyes to wipe away a stray tear. “It’s the bare minimum to support my girl,” he told you. “I love you, too, baby.”
Settling back down under the covers with your lover, you rested your head on top of his. “You don’t have to worry about me and Harry,” you reassured him. “It’s strictly business between us, and he’s aware of that.” 
“I’m not worried,” Luke said, his eyes fluttering closed. “Get some sleep, love. You got an early morning ahead of you.” 
The next morning, you woke up refreshed with your boyfriend still fast asleep beside you. You smiled to yourself, taking a mental image of the singer nestled beside you. His arm was snug around your waist and his nose was buried in your chest, a normal routine you’ve found the both of you falling into when he was home from tours. What you hated the most was ending said routine when you had to wake up before him for filming. 
You slowly removed his arm and slid out from under the sheets, trying to not wake him. Of course, ever the heavy sleeper, Luke remained asleep, taking one of your pillows as an adequate replacement for you. You quietly began your morning routine of brewing coffee for yourself, brushing your teeth, and styling your hair. Petunia followed behind you, being the momma’s girl she was. You let her go outside as you got started on preparing breakfast. Normally, you’d make breakfast and coffee for two but you were called for an earlier shoot, barely before sunrise, so Luke would no doubt be asleep for a while.
Finished with breakfast and giving Petunia her required pets and kisses, you went back upstairs to get dressed for the day. You thought you had been relatively quiet, but nonetheless the singer woke up to you, half dressed, on the other side of the room.
“What a sight for sore eyes,” his raspy voice praised.
You turned your head around as you slipped on a pair of pants, rolling your eyes at him. “You should be asleep,” you scolded lightly. 
“And you should still be in bed with me,” he reprimanded in the same tone. Luke lazily reached across the bed for you, only short by a few inches. 
“I have to be in for an early shoot,” you reminded him. “You know I’d be asleep right beside you if I had the choice.” 
Luke groaned, making you laugh as you ruffled his hair similar to how you’d pet Petunia. “Why can’t you call out?” he whined like a toddler. 
You kissed his forehead and set for the door. “If I did, I’d be out of a job,” you told him. “Then who would Harry kiss on camera?”
“Not funny!” Luke yelled out as you grabbed the rest of your things and left your home. 
“Love you!” you shouted back, closing the door behind you. 
Luke rolled over back to his side, grabbing his phone and absentmindedly scrolled through Twitter. He figured that since he was already awake, he might as well look through his notifications before formally getting up. 
On Twitter, he realized in the bottom of his screen that he received thousands of tagged mentions. Curious, he clicked on the icon to see multiple photos of you and Harry outside the studio. You two were snuggled under a blanket, far too close for his liking. The smile on your face was one Luke was familiar with because it was the look you always gave him. Jealousy burned in his chest before he realized it. 
outofstyles: harry styles and y/n l/n is a pair we didn’t ask for but ended up needing SEVERELY
stylesupdatesdaily: styles-l/n was NOT on my bingo card this year but i am here for it!!! #styles-l/n #wlbumovie
lukehemmingslipring: why are people shipping harry and y/n when she’s been dating luke since way before the SGFG era??? and why am i fucking with it???
y/nismother: @lukehemmingslipring don’t tell me they broke up because if they did love isn’t real :(
y/nismother: @youngblood__irwin SEND THE LINK PLEASE!!!!!
Luke frowned at the back and forth in the comments, as well as additional tweets he was tagged in regarding the Hemmings vs. Styles drama, a drama he didn’t even knew had begun. Frustration and envy brewed inside him despite his strong attempts to fight the urge. He had promised you he wouldn’t get jealous. Hell, he didn’t expect himself to feel this way. He knew you, of course. And he knew Harry very well. In his right mind, he knew there was nothing behind the photos nor your staged romance. But the damn photos and tweets and people raising the question of the stability of his relationship…anger was clouding his mind and he could barely think straight. 
By the time you got to set, you were rushed into hair and makeup. You were used to the fast paced nature of the studio and settled into your routine with ease. As your hair designers twisted and pulled your hair back to prep for your wig, you saw a familiar figure catch your eye. 
“Good morning, darlin’,” Harry greeted with a chaste kiss on your cheek. You snorted at his thick Southern accent he had been practicing all year long. While he had improved significantly, you found that his drastic change from a charming British lad to a cheeky Southern man was still too bizarre to get accustomed to.
“Hello, honey,” you said back in a Chicago accent, remembering to stay still for the dressers to apply your wig. The accent you portrayed was one that your character had, a sharp-tongued divorcee. “Didn’t expect you to come in on time.”
“Love, I’m always on time,” he chuckled, sitting beside you to allow the artists to work their magic. “You’re just cooped up in your trailer doing God knows what with that husband of yours.” 
You laughed, eyes shut as your dear friend and makeup artist Alisha applied eyeshadow. “Not my husband,” you corrected him. 
“Well you’ve been dating him long enough for him to might as well be,” he joked. “You seriously mean to tell me Hemmings hasn’t put a ring on your finger?” You nodded as much as you could, considering Alisha was very adamant on perfecting your concealer under your eyes. “Well, he’s got to get a move on before I make a move myself.”
The two of you laughed, knowing the banter was light and all jokes. “Careful now, sweetheart,” you said, reverting back to your Chicago accent. “Mr. Hemmings might get a little jealous.” 
“Can’t have that now, can we?” he drawled, back in his Southern accent. “But you make such a pretty little wife on screen, how can I resist?” 
“You tease!” you exclaimed, clutching your heart and remaining in character. “Mr. McClantire, you know I’m a faithful woman.” 
Finished with his makeup, Harry stood up and readjusted his suit jacket. “Mrs. Abernathy, a lady like you should be cherished,” he explained, taking your hand and brushing his lips against his lightly. “I’ll meet you on set.” 
You chuckled, taking your hand back to fix your hat your stylist had expertly pinned to your head. “I’ll see you then, Mr. McClantire.” 
Leaving you be, Harry left the dressing room and gently closed the door. Alisha clicked her tongue at the British singer turned actor, shaking her head. “Always a tease, isn’t he,” she hummed, applying hair spray liberally. “He better watch himself or the media will end up in a frenzy with his flirtatious attitude.” 
“He’s a sweetheart, I know he means no harm,” you defended him, sipping your tea serenely. “I do believe he’s been seeing someone though so I know there’s no weight to his words. But I do admit his habits are going to make Twitter go crazy. Luke has already gotten wind of some of the news and gossip.” 
Alisha rested her hand on her hip, lips pursed in thought. “Only a matter of time before he gets jealous,” she mused playfully. 
“He won’t,” you said back, not expecting Alisha’s warning.
“Oh honey,” she shook her head. “You know men, they’ll get jealous.” 
Luke looked at the TV through the mirror reflection in his dressing room as he adjusted his dress shirt’s sleeves. Nearly a while had passed since the finish of filming and it was a matter of days until the movie’s premiere. Your schedule consisted of plenty of interviews and promo events which resulted in more drama tabloids being released about you and Harry. A scowl rested on his
and Harry on the screen talking with the host of the show. You were animatedly telling a story while Harry’s arm rested behind you. Albeit casual, Luke couldn’t help but glare at the gesture. 
“If looks could kill, he’d be dead,” Ashton mused from behind the blond singer. 
Luke brushed off his comment, turning away from the vanity. “I just wish he’d keep his bloody hands off her,” he muttered enviously. 
Calum was distractedly scrolling through his phone on the couch, no doubt bored, waiting for their cue to get on stage. “And sit fifty miles away from her?” he suggested plainly, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Mate, they’re friends, of course they’re going to sit beside each other.” 
“But with his arm around her?” Luke pressed impatiently, fighting the urge to run his fingers through his hair. You reminded him constantly before arriving at the studio to not touch his hair. You’d worked so hard to style and gel it while he focused on his makeup. The blond settled for crossing his arms on his chest and tapping his foot. 
“Yeah,” Michael agreed with Luke. “He should cut it off,” he joked, dodging Luke’s swat of his hand. 
Ashton patted Luke’s shoulder, setting him down on the couch. “Calm down, Luke,” he instructed. “Take some deep breaths or else you’ll pop a vein. I understand how annoying publicists have been with Harry and n/n, but you shouldn’t let them get to you.” 
“How can I when they talk about my girl?” Luke seethed, his composure rigid. “They talk about her like she’s a fame chaser, going after Harry for publicity even though she’s been practically an A-lister since she was a kid.” Luke shuffled in his seat, frown permanently on his face. 
“Then I hardly see how Harry’s got anything to do with it,” Calum raised an eyebrow. 
Luke stood up from the couch as quickly as he had sat down. “Because he’s–he’s–” Luke stumbled over his words. Finding no reasonable excuse, he angrily kicked his foot against the table only to yelp in pain, clutching his foot and jumping up and down. “That fucking pretty boy.” 
Michael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can’t really give into those gossip tablets, can you?” he genuinely asked. 
Luke paused, long enough for the boys to shake their heads in disappointment. “It’s the hair!” he lamely blamed, throwing his hands in the air. 
The boys’ conversation was interrupted by a set assistant, knocking on the door while opening it. “Five minutes till your performance,” the boy squeaked. 
Ashton was the one to speak up for the group. “Thanks, Roberto,” he said gratefully. The moment the boy left, Ashton turned to the boys. “We’re going to discuss this more later after the show. Luke, please be civil with Harry.” 
“Says the one who fucked his sis-”
“None of that now,” Ashton cut Michael off, not wanting to rehash his past. “Now let’s get on stage before they have our heads.” 
The boys made their way down to the set, hiding discreetly behind the curtains. A frenzy of assistants scurried by, ensuring that the boys had their instruments and everything was perfect before they got on stage. 
“Ladies and gentlemen, Five Seconds of Summer!” 
The stage manager nodded at the cue, ushering the boys through the entrance. Luke was the first to walk through, waving at the audience and smiling at fans screaming in the back. They got settled on the side stage, instruments in tow as they turned to the host of the night. 
“Thank you for having us, Jimmy,” Luke spoke into the mic, trying not to wince at the squealing girls in the crowd. His eyes were trained on you, who had stood up and clapped for the band as they came in. You were now seated, eyes sparkling in excitement. 
Jimmy Fallon leaned back in his chair. “We’re glad to have you, Luke,” he responded. “Hope the dressing room wasn’t too snug for your guys?”
“Oh no Jimmy, we quite enjoyed it,” Ashton answered from behind his kit. “Reminds me of the good old days when we’d share Luke’s bedroom to change before filming our performances on YouTube.” 
The crowd laughed at Ashton’s quip, Jimmy especially as he shook his head in laughter. “Good to hear,” he said. “And what do you guys have for us today?” 
Michael was next to take the lead. “Well initially we thought we were going to perform our song for What Lies Between Us,” he began, followed by more applause and cheering. “But we thought it would be better to leave that for the premiere.” 
“Correction: our publicist thought it would be better,” Calum joked, however there was no fabrication behind it; their publicist did think it would be best.
“So we decided to play a song from our album that’s yet to come out,” Michael finished. “Jimmy, this is “Bad Omens.”” 
The crowd loved the song as much as you did, finding that song to be one of your favorites of the album. Upon finishing the song, the boys set down their instruments for the backstage staff to collect and made their way to the couches. 
You and Harry stood up to greet each of them, Harry with a handshake and you with a kiss on the cheek. Luke took your hand, kissing you brightly on the lips before sitting down beside you. Jimmy made a cheeky face, teasingly looking at you and your boyfriend. The crowd chuckled at his behavior and you did the same while Luke kept his hand possessively on your knee.
“Well this is a new development,” Jimmy mused, folding his hands on top of his desk. 
You waved off his comment with an airy giggle. “Oh this?” you asked, gesturing between you and Luke. “Old as time.” 
“We’ve actually been together for what, a little over ten years now?” Luke explained, glancing over at you with a proud smile. He relished the feeling of the crowd clapping and whooping at your relationship. 
Jimmy whistled at Luke’s comment. “And no ring on the finger?” he pressed. “I mean, you’ve had to have thought about it before?” 
You nodded reassuringly. “Oh a million times,” you responded. “But God knows that when you deal with one of these boys, you have to deal with all of them.” You jabbed your thumb at the three boys to the left of you, shoving their lanky arms against each other as they tried to get comfortable on their seats. Luke cleared his throat to get their attention, the boys flushed in the face as they quit their quarreling. “I’ve known them since they went on tour with One Direction and we finally ended up dating afterwards. But now, I’m ready to get married and settle down. I’m just waiting on Hemmings, here.” 
Luke chuckled at your last comment, seemingly taking them lightly. You furrowed your eyebrows at his reaction, but decided not to act upon it. “She’s very much so anticipating that question, Jimmy,” he confessed. “It’s only a matter of time, but I’m in no hurry. This one, however…” he trailed off, grinning at you.
“A girl has dreams,” you defended yourself. 
Jimmy snapped his fingers at your words, a thought coming back to him. “Yes, you certainly do!” he exclaimed, reaching under his desk for a frame as he changed the subject. Confusion and hurt brewed inside you, but you quickly pushed those feelings down. “y/n, you’re not a stranger to dreams, right?”
“Oh, definitely not,” you agreed with a dubious expression on your face. 
“So I hope you don’t mind when I show a little memento from the past your mother sent over.”
“Oh God,” you groaned, turning to hide your face in Luke’s shoulder. “What did she send over now? I told you to lose her number, Jimmy.” 
Jimmy raised his hands up in surrender. “She makes a great lunch partner,” he defended himself. “y/m/n, if you’re watching tonight, we’re still on for Tuesday?” You rolled your eyes as Harry threw his head back in laughter. “Joking, joking, not really, but-” 
“Jimmy,” you said in a warning tone. 
“Alright, alright,” he relented. “Anyways, your mother found a letter you wrote back when you were in middle school to the tooth fairy-”
Michael choked on his own saliva, jerking forward. “n/n, you still believed in the tooth fairy when you were in middle school-”
“I don’t want to hear it, Clifford,” you clipped back through your teeth as you smiled rigidly. You still had one last baby tooth in at the time, you still had your hopes out for the mythical creature.
Jimmy raised his hand to cut off the side chatter as he read from the framed letter. “And you, at age thirteen, had one dream that you wished the tooth fairy would grant you.” 
“Dear Tooth Fairy,” he read aloud as you crumbled in embarrassment. “I have finally lost my last tooth, so I guess this will be the last letter I can send you.”
“Aww,” the boys gushed in unison, causing you to shoot them an icy glare. 
“To end this amazing tooth filled saga, I have one last wish. You see, it’s been my dream to meet One Direction.” 
“Jimmy!” you screamed, covering your face in humiliation as the memories started to flood in. Luke covered you in his arms as you folded over yourself, laughing along but equally curious about what was in the letter.
Jimmy, nonetheless, continued reading. “And I have a favorite singer in the band. If you could pull some strings and make Harry Styles my boyfriend, I swear to you I’ll write a letter to you everyday -even though I have no more teeth to give you- and will solemnly swear to be your best friend forever. Let him be my boyfriend, pleaseeeeee.” The audience let out a boisterous laughter as Jimmy emphasized your silly, childish writing. “Love, y/n.” 
More clapping filled your ears as you raised your head to face Jimmy. In the corner of your eye, you saw Harry resting casually beside you, facing you as he leaned against the couch. 
“I’m flattered,” Harry told you, an amused smile resting on his lips.
You pressed your lips in a straight line. “Thanks, Har,” you deadpanned. 
He patted your shoulder in a friendly manner. “No, it’s real sweet,” he reassured you. “Truly, cute, even.” 
“That’s not all we have,” Jimmy spoke up as he put away your framed letter. He waved off your groans and complaints. “It’s not bad, not bad. I’m sure you all remember the Golden Globes back in 2012 when y/n made her first appearance in the hit TV show, The Last Elites of Cardenia.” 
The crowd cheered as a photo of you as a child appeared on the screen. It was a shot of you in the show, dressed up in your furs and pearls as per your character, Cecilia. The next photo was of you on the red carpet with your show family. Your braces were highly visible in your smile, making you wince at the rough photo. 
“I loved that show,” Ashton sighed, full of nostalgia. “Cal, Michael, and I would binge that show every night after concerts.” 
“You didn’t watch it, Luke?” Jimmy asked curiously.
Luke sheepishly shook his head. “No, I didn’t,” he answered honestly. 
“I’m offended, babe,” you teased, your hand over your heart in mock offense.
Michael snorted. “It’s not like he didn’t like the show,” he told you. “He just could barely follow the storyline whenever you popped up on screen.” 
The boys gave Luke playful punches as he blushed. “I-I couldn’t help it!” he exclaimed. “You were just so cute on screen, you were my celebrity crush for the longest time. I mean you were a right entitled bitch in the show but meeting you in real life, I just was-“
“So down bad,” Ashton finished for him. Luke was about to correct him but you were quick to cut him off. 
“Baby,” you cooed, pinching his cheek. 
Jimmy laughed along with the conversation, pointing towards the screen as he spoke. “Speaking of celebrity crushes,” he continued. “We have this old footage of you on the red carpet answering some questions.” 
The day was bright as you appeared on the screen. A youthful innocence covered your entire self, from the way you gathered yourself to your voice. A woman was behind the camera, only her hand holding the microphone could be seen.
“And who might you be?” the woman asked you. 
You smiled brightly. “I’m y/n!” you chirped. “y/n l/n but most people know me as Cecilia from The Last Elites of Cardenia.”
“Nice to meet you, y/n, I’m Mei,” the woman greeted, shaking your hand. “This is your first time here at the Golden Globes, how are you feeling?” 
“Oh, I’m sooo excited, Mei,” you answered honestly and giddily. You could hardly stand still. “My mom picked my outfit today so I’m feeling very confident and pretty!”
“And who do you want to see most today?” 
You cocked your head in thought. “Harry Styles!” you exclaimed. “I heard One Direction’s going to be at the after party, so I really hope to see him. He’s my biggest celebrity crush,” you gushed unabashedly.
The clip ended and everyone turned to you, where you were frozen and wide-eyed.
“Where the hell do you find this stuff, Jimmy,” you sighed, face palming annoyedly. 
“Oh, the vault, you know,” Jimmy responded cheekily. “But that leaves us wondering how you feel now, starring alongside your celebrity crush in the film “What Lies Between Us?”” 
You tapped your chin. Harry glanced over at you. “Be honest, darling,” he reminded you in a sing-songy voice. 
“Well I can definitely say that my teenage self is absolutely losing her mind,” you answered. “It’s something out of a dream, if you think about it. I mean, I never knew I’d come far enough to star in a highly anticipated movie, nevertheless star alongside Harry. It’s a blessing, surely, but now, I think that fangirl side of me has been laid to rest.” 
Jimmy turned to your boyfriend. “And what do you think, Luke?” 
The musician gave the host a close lipped smile. “Whatever makes n/n happy,” he settled brusquely.
Jimmy, satisfied with his response, began asking questions for the other boys about touring and their music. You whipped your head around and raised an eyebrow at Luke for his short response, but Luke didn’t make eye contact with you. Concerned, you reached for his hand on his knee but he pulled back, folding his hands together. Never had you felt more confused and isolated than you did at that moment. You used to be able to read his mind, but now it felt like he’d closed his mind in walls you couldn’t seem to get past. 
“What was that about?” you demanded, following closely behind Luke as you walked into your shared home. 
After that awkward end to the show with Jimmy Fallon, you, Harry, and the boys went out to dinner. You thought that moment with Luke was just a one-off thing, but he remained in his rigid composure for the rest of the night. The boys would talk boisterously throughout the dinner, sharing stories of the past tours with One Direction and catching up on life afterwards. But Luke was the only one who remained silent, opting to focus on his glass of red wine he never seemed to finish. You made attempts to speak to Luke, nudging him or trying to meet his eyes from across the table but he refused to look up the entire time. Frustrated, you let it be but it was clear you were upset to the rest of the table. Harry had even pulled you aside after you all paid for your meals, asking if things were alright and if he had overstepped at all. You reassured him he did nothing wrong, it was Luke who was being childish at the moment.
 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he brushed you off, heading upstairs to your bedroom. He removed his suit jacket and started unbuttoning his dress shirt nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong or pissed you off. 
You entered the bedroom, heels kicked off as you crossed your arms on your chest. “Let me refresh your mind,” you spat. “You’ve been nothing but rotten towards Harry and I tonight. What’s gotten into you? I thought you said you wouldn’t get jealous-”
“And I’m not,” Luke fought back. “God, you can be so conceited sometimes, y/n.” 
“So that’s what it is?” you snapped back. “I’m just being self-centered and your head isn’t stuck up your ass?” 
Luke aggressively pulled his sleeves up, leaving half of his buttons undone while placing his hands on his hips. “Yes, it would appear so,” he answered shortly. “You’re overthinking what’s going on, y/n, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Do not gaslight me, Luke Hemmings,” you ordered, walking up to him to stand chest to chest. “I know your mother taught you enough for you to know that is not the way to go when arguing with me.” Luke huffed, giving in on that one statement because you were right; he did know better.
“Fine,” he muttered. “I am upset. And I have every reason to. I don’t like how close you and Harry have gotten, okay?”
Your jaw dropped in utter shock. “You mean my coworker?” you clarified sarcastically. “I’d hope I’d be close with him considering we’re playing lovers in the damn movie-” 
“There you go again!” Luke’s voice boomed across the room, throwing his hands in the air. “You and Harry being lovers. Sometimes I’m led to believe it’s more than for the movie with the photos I’ve seen and the mere way you act with him.” 
“Luke, I have no idea what to tell you,” you fumed. “We are acting. I have no romantic feelings for him and he has none for me. He’s seeing someone, for crying out loud! I thought you had enough trust in me to know nothing is going on between me and him.” 
“I do trust you,” he argued. “But you couldn’t possibly look me dead in the eye and tell me you didn’t have romantic feelings at all during filming. You have been crushing on him for far too long for that to just go away.” 
You hesitated, your face burning with frustration and humiliation. You hated to admit there was some truth to his statement. “I-I,” you stumbled over your words.
Luke’s nostrils flared as he glared at you, proving his point exactly. You threw your hands in the air. “He was a celebrity crush from when I was a teenager, Luke!” you shouted exasperatedly. “I had a little crush, that was it! And maybe it resurfaced a little at the beginning but I swear to you I don’t have those feelings anymore. It was a childish crush, Luke, you’ve got to believe me when I say that. I love you.” 
Tears lined both of your eyes as you went to reach for his hand. Your thumb grazed his ring, the one you bought for him for your first anniversary. “I really don’t know,” Luke whispered, slowly pulling his hand away.
Your heart shattered at his words, falling to the ground you stood on. You had dedicated ten years of your life to this man, ten of the best years of your life to him. You grew up with him, made the best and worst mistakes of your lives, and survived all of that together. He was your person, your lover, your one being that you’d lay down your life for. Yet, the moment your relationship is tested, he falters. But you couldn’t blame him. One little crush resurfacing, and that managed to wipe out everything you ever created for yourself over the past decade.
You took a deep breath, fighting the urge to fall over and sob on the ground. Your hands opened and closed into fists as you took a step back. “Fine,” you said, shaky and uncertain. Luke almost caved at your voice, the mere way you spoke. You had always carried yourself with dignity and confidence. He was the one who stripped you of that, and you were just a shell of who you once were. 
“I think I’m going to spend the night at Crys’s,” you told him, walking over to your closet and pulling out a bag. “It’s clear we both need space and time apart.” 
Luke shook his head, taking your wrist. “Don’t do that,” he said. “Your premiere is in two days, you’re going to be worn out and exhausted if you don’t sleep right. I’ll head over to Cal’s and you can stay here.” 
Taking back your wrist, you continued to pack your things. “It’s your house, Luke,” you reminded him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay spending the night with Crys and Michael.” 
“Don’t bother them,” Luke insisted. “They’ve been busy building the nursery for when they plan on trying for a baby and-” 
You winced at his words. He didn’t understand how much he hurt you with them, where he was only looking out for their sake and not yours. Realizing the deeper meaning behind his words, Luke tried to correct himself when you just raised your hand to stop him. He had said enough for the night, and so had you. 
“I’ll find a hotel,” you finally decided. Luke was silent, heart aching and yearning for you, but too frozen to speak up and do anything about it. Finished packing, you zipped up your bag and turned back to him. “Goodnight, Lukey,” you said, kissing him on the cheek before leaving the house entirely. 
Driving down the streets of L.A. you managed to find a small hotel on the side of the road that looked safe enough to spend the night. Carrying your bag, you pathetically entered the hotel in your dress from the late night show and a pair of flat shoes you slipped on before leaving. Your hair was no doubt a mess, no longer styled to perfection as Alisha once had it. Your mascara was probably running down your face, too. God, you looked like a mess in front of this poor worker. 
The boy lifted his eyes to meet yours, slowly recognizing who you were but deciding to not speak on it. You looked like you had gone through enough tonight. “Room for one?” he asked you. You wordlessly nodded, rummaging through your bag to find your wallet for ID and your card. Handing them to the worker, you kept your gaze on your bag. In the process, you found your phone and checked your notifications. 
Lukey &lt;;3: please let me know when you arrive safely
You: im here now
Lukey &lt;;3: okay, love. use the card i gave you to pay for your room
You: no, it’s fine.
You left the conversation at that, not caring if it were dry. You were exhausted and didn’t want to fight with him anymore. You had no more fight in you to give him. 
The boy behind the desk handed you back your things along with your key card for the night. “Let me know if you need anything at all to improve your stay,” he told you politely. 
You fought the urge to scoff at the boy. Like you could do anything to improve your stay, tonight was hell as it is. But you reminded yourself it wasn’t his fault you were arguing with the love of your life; it was yours. Thanking him quietly, you made your way to your room and tossed your bag on the foot of your bed, tucking yourself in next, still in your evening wear. You didn’t care if you’d ruin your dress or damage your face from leaving your makeup on overnight. It was too much for you to deal with right now. 
Lukey &lt;;3: goodnight, y/n
read 2:43 am
The next two days were utter torture for Luke. He kept contact with you through it all, ensuring that you had eaten, slept, etc. but that was all you’d tell him. Luke couldn’t decide whether or not he was grateful for your shortness with your words, if it would make him cave and go to you and forget everything or make him more upset. He was grateful he had your location still on his phone, and you had his. At least he could check on you and make sure you were alright and not in any trouble. 
Luke was also guilty of checking if you had gone to Harry’s house. Guilt and upset rumbled in his stomach, as he felt like he crossed a boundary and invaded your privacy. But how could he not be curious about your whereabouts when you had confessed to him you still had some feelings toward Harry? It didn’t matter that you said those feelings came and went. What would happen if you tied the knot and you changed your mind about him? 
Luke had trusted you with his life. He took your word as true most of the time, but now he was unsure. He wasn’t sure where he lied with you now. He loved you still, yes, and he’d still sacrifice his own happiness for you. Perhaps he blew things over proportion between the two of you. You swore you still loved him and no longer felt anything for Harry. But why did Luke still feel something wrong in his chest? 
He still had mixed feelings about your argument on the night of your premiere. Luke was in Ashton’s living room, quietly sipping on a beer as he waited for the rest of the band and their significant others to meet them there to travel to the theater together. 
Ashton slipped on his jacket, entering the room and looking over at his friend. “y/n not joining us tonight, mate?” he asked. He knew what had happened those nights ago. He was the first person Luke called the moment you left, staying on the phone with him until five in the morning. You had even called him later that day to ask for his advice. He was grateful you both thought of him as an older brother figure, and he wanted nothing more than to get you both together to talk through it. 
Luke set his bottle down, not wanting to get drunk on your important night. “No,” he replied with a heaved sigh. “She texted me that she’ll get there on her own because Alisha wanted to do her hair and makeup.”
Ashton sat down beside him, patting his back. “That’s good she’s still talking to you, right?” he brought up, trying to look on the bright side. 
“Only because I made her swear to keep me updated,” he grumbled. “If it weren’t for that, I think she’d block my number.”
“Now that’s not true,” Ashton told him seriously. 
Luke shrugged his shoulders. “I practically told her I didn’t trust her anymore,” he said, ashamed of himself. “But it’s fair, isn’t it? I knew in my stomach that there was something going on between her and Harry.”
“But there wasn’t,” Ashton reminded him. “She said her feelings toward Harry resurfaced, but she didn’t act on them in any way.”
“But what if one day she wakes up and realizes she can do so much better than me?” Luke asked, voice cracking. He didn’t want to think about that, but that’s all his mind would conjure. “Then she’ll leave me for him and I’ll be the idiot that was strung along the whole time.” 
Ashton leaned back on his sofa. “I think you owe y/n more credit than that,” he said. “She loves you, she said so herself. And if she really wanted Harry, she wouldn’t have fought for you like she did.”
“You’re right,” Luke supposed. “I just feel so guilty now.”
“You can talk to her after the premiere,” Ashton settled. “Trust me, she wants to talk to you, too.”
The two were interrupted by Ashton’s door swinging open to reveal the remaining boys and their significant others. Ready to go, Ashton and Luke joined them outside to hop into Michael’s car. 
Luke got settled in the back seat, reaching for his seat belt when Crystal turned around to face him. “How are you holding up, bub?” she asked, a comforting smile on her face.
He grimaced but tilted his head in response. “Definitely could be better,” he said earnestly. “But Ash helped me through it.”
Crystal reached behind her to pat his knee soothingly. “I’m glad,” she said. “y/n’s the same. I stopped by her hotel this morning to catch up on things.”
“And she’s okay?” Luke leaned in, interested in learning anything about your whereabouts and how you’re doing. 
Crystal put on the same expression as Luke. “About the same as you,” she responded. “But don’t worry, everything will work out in the end.” 
Luke braved a smile. “I hope so.”
The carpet leading up to the theater was packed with reporters and photographers trying to get a glimpse of the actors featured in the film. The band was far behind, stuck in the traffic of people stopping them to ask a few questions. 
“Boys!” a man called out. “Over here! I’m here with Vanity Fair.”
The boys shared a glance and went up to the man. “My name is Aamir and I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about tonight.”
Michael stood in the front, taking Aamir’s extra microphone. “Let’s hear them!”
“This is the first time your music is being featured in a movie as big as this,” Aamir stated. “How are you all feeling?”
Calum drew in a breath, deciding to take this question. “I mean, how can we feel?” he responded. “It’s a mix of feelings, I can tell you that. I think on behalf of the band, we’re all just really nervous but excited to put out this music for the film. It’s really different from our typical kind of music, but we hope you all love it the same.” 
“I’m sure we’ll all love what you have in store for us,” Aamir said confidently. “Luke, how are you feeling tonight? It’s a big moment for your girlfriend, y/n l/n, as this is her first lead role in a highly anticipated movie. Can you give us an insight on how y/n is feeling and how you both prepared for tonight?”
Luke tried to not let his rigidity and awkwardness show on camera. There was enough dubious press about the two of you after that show with Jimmy Fallon. “I’m sure she’s over the moon about tonight,” he answered, eyes flickering to the camera. “She’s been so excited for this moment and all her hard work has come down to tonight.”
“And how have you prepared together?” Aamir repeated his second question with curiosity as to why Luke didn’t answer in the first place.
Luke bit his lip, trying to answer without showing he was completely unsure. “Well-“
Cheers erupted from the crowd as a limo approached the carpet. Luke thanked God for that distraction because everyone -including himself- turned to see what the commotion was about. 
You stepped outside of the car, dressed in a long white gown that resembled a wedding dress. Luke could only describe you as ethereal as you shyly waved to the photographers and interviewers. He’d never seen you so shy in public, since you’d been in front of the cameras since you were a child. Your eyes were trained on the ground, a shaky smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes.
Reporters shouted at you, desperate to get a word or two with you. Dazed by the flashing lights and loud noises, you took a step forward to where the people were blocked by a gate. In your nervous stature, you began to tremble, hands reaching out for stability but struggling to do so. Your ankle gave way, causing you to fall to the ground. People shouted and “ooh’ed” but no one ran in to help you. 
Rushing forward, Luke ran over to you and wrapped his arm securely around your waist as he guided you back up. You gasped, looking up at your savior and realizing who it was. His name was on your lips but no sound could come out; you were too shocked to say anything since you hadn’t formally spoken to him in days.
Luke gave you a reassuring smile, eyes glancing down at your lips to silently ask for permission to kiss you. You nodded, allowing him to cup the side of your face to kiss you softly. The moment your lips met his, you felt yourself get regrounded. Knowing he was by your side, you felt like yourself again: more confident. 
The press ate up yours and Luke’s stunt, taking photos left and right of the two of you. You pulled away, your hand on his chest and feeling his heart beat quickly. “Thank you,” you whispered. Luke gave you a small nod but remained silent as he led you to the reporters. 
A young woman caught your attention, pointing her microphone in your direction. “Are you alright, y/n?” she asked you, camera pointed at you. “I’m Irina with TMZ. We’re happy to see you tonight!”
Nerves began to creep in as you drew a blank at her question. Luke’s hand squeezed your hip comfortingly, providing you with the stability and strength you needed to get through the event. Nodding to yourself, you opened your mouth to answer. 
“I’m doing great, thank you,” you answered. “Just some first premiere nerves but they never killed anyone! I’m just really grateful Luke was here to save me from that little trip there.” 
Irina pointed her microphone at Luke, who was taken aback but spoke nonetheless. “Anything for my girl,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s her big night and I’m her biggest supporter. She’s my rock for concerts, I’m her rock for premieres. We have each other’s backs.”
Your eyes were stuck on Luke, mesmerized by his face and how his eyelids glistened in the light from his eyeshadow, no doubt from the palette you gifted him on his birthday last year. The corners of your lips quirked upwards, a warm and fuzzy feeling growing in your chest as you looked up at him with pride and love. You almost didn’t hear the interviewer’s final question. 
“y/n, it’s been all over social media how you had a long standing crush on your co-lead, Harry Styles,” Irina stated. You felt Luke’s hand tighten around your hip without him realizing, no doubt irritated by that question. “How did it feel to kiss him and perform in intimate scenes with him?” 
As you opened your mouth to respond, Luke cut in. “Respectfully,” he began. “I think y/n’s work goes far beyond who she kissed or who she did what with. She’s been in the film industry for as long as I can remember, and definitely deserves more questions that dive deeper than who she harbors romantic feelings for.” 
The interviewer’s face flushed in embarrassment. “Of course,” she agreed, rushing to apologize. You simply waved her off, politely excusing both yourself and Luke out of the conversation with grace. 
Luke remained by your side as you made your way through the reporters and photographers, staying silent unless asked a question. You thought he wouldn’t look at you from the way his eyes never met yours -except for when he kissed you, of course- but in fact, he had stared at you the entire time you spoke. Nothing but adoration filled his mind when he listened to you speak about the work you worked so hard to make. It made all of your past problems fade to gray, and he nearly forgot about your whole argument. 
Once you entered the theater, you expected Luke to pull away to find the boys but he didn’t. You stopped in your tracks to turn to him. “You can go back to the boys now,” you whispered gently to him.
Luke was taken by surprise at your words, and hurt flashed across his face. “Do you want me to go?” he asked you.
You were quick to shake your head. “No!” you rushed. “I just thought…you know, it’s your big day, too. I figured you’d want to spend it with them.”
The blond took your hands in his and kissed them softly. “I want to be by your side through it all,” he assured you. “I haven’t seen you in days, and I don’t want a petty fight to get between us and celebrating your greatest achievement.”
Your publicity manager approached you, checking her watch every second or so anxiously. “The movie’s about to start,” she reminded you hurriedly. 
You were about to tell her to give you both a few minutes, but Luke stopped you. “We can talk more later, okay?” he said. You agreed wordlessly, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips. 
“Let’s go in together, babe,” you decided. Luke resumed his position beside you, entering the theater together proudly to watch the film the both of you dedicated so much time and effort into. And as Luke took your hand while you both sat in your seats, you knew that everything would be okay in the end. 
Once the movie had ended, Harry invited you and the boys to his home for the afterparty but you politely declined, opting to spend the rest of the night with your beloved boyfriend. 
Now, you and Luke took a walk around the finally quieted city, hand in hand. You were grateful you brought another pair of shoes with you because your heels were killing you, and you were more thankful for Luke who insisted on holding your strappy heels for you as you continued your walk. 
“I really can’t thank you enough for saving my neck there on the carpet,” you said in a slightly teasing tone. “I would have actually melted into the floor if you didn’t come to my aid.”
“I meant what I said when I said I always had your back, y/n,” Luke replied, eyes trained on the sidewalk. 
A pregnant silence followed as you made your way through the city, taking in the lights and cool summer air without any fear of paparazzi following close behind you. You found yourself nervously playing with the rings on Luke’s fingers as you tried to find the right words to say.
“I’m sorry for that night,” you began, avoiding his questioned gaze. “I should have been more open to you about how I felt from the beginning, but I really do promise that I don’t have any feelings for him. Not anymore, at least. It was a teenage dream come true, but…”
Luke raised an eyebrow at you. “But?” he pressed gently.
You stopped walking, turning to cup his cheek affectionately. “But that’s not my dream anymore,” you finished. “My dream is to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Whether or not you decide to marry me, I want you in my life for all the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m really sorry for ever making you doubt my love for you, and I’m sorry for not being receptive to your doubts and insecurities.” 
“What makes you think I don’t wanna marry you?” he asked you. “Of course I do. I want to see you walk down that aisle with a dress as giant or as small as you want, as long as you become Mrs. Hemmings at the end of it. Or if you don’t want to take my last name, that’s fine, too. I don’t care if you want a big or small wedding or a wedding at all. If you want to take that oath in the townhouse and officially be mine -and I, yours- I’m perfectly okay with that, too.” 
You bit your lip, trying to fight back your tears. “I was just nervous,” you confessed. “I knew you were upset by those questions about me and Harry, but I was upset, too. I just never told you how upset I was.” A stray tear trickled down your face but you stubbornly wiped it away, not wanting to cry. “We’ve been together for ten wonderful years, and all people would ask me is “when are you getting married?” “when is he going to propose?” And at first, I was fine with it. But the more people asked, the more anxious I was about the stability of our relationship.”
When Luke’s face gave away he wasn’t exactly following what you meant, you continued to explain further. “I’ve read so many tweets and articles about how undesirable I am, from the moment I turned sixteen. And the fact that you kept pushing off the idea of us getting married,” you looked away, embarrassed by your reaction to all of this. “It hurts, Lukey. And I know marriage isn’t a thing to rush into and I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want, but those drama tabloids just make me feel so insecure.” 
“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Luke frowned, pity settling in, but you waved your hand to brush it off.
“It’s stupid,” you decided, wiping away the extra tears that managed to escape. “I’ve always told you not to give into the press and social media, yet here I am doing that very thing. L-let’s focus on you, Luke.”
“We can talk about my stupid jealousy another time,” Luke fought to stay on topic. “y/n, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this? If I had known, I would have said something-”
“But that’s not how proposals work, Lukey!” you exclaimed. “It’s not something you do out of pity. It’s a decision you make when you’re sure and you’re not! That’s okay, I don’t want you to make a decision you’ll only end up regretting just to please me in the present.” 
Luke took your hand in his, forcing you to look up at him. “Why do you think I’d ever regret marrying you?” he questioned. “y/n, you’re the love of my life. You’re definitely not my first girlfriend but I intend for you to be my last. You’re it for me, n/n. I do want to marry you and I intended to propose, I just wanted to find the right time and place for it. As for my behavior the past few months,” he sighed. “It wasn’t right of me to villainize you and Harry. You’re friends and coworkers, of course you’re going to get close. And I knew that the press would twist the narrative to make it seem like you guys were more than friends. I should have felt secure enough in our relationship to trust you completely, but I was also too insecure to let that be. 
“Harry’s great. He’s talented, a better singer than I’ll ever be, and kind hearted. I’ve always felt like I was in his shadow, and seeing him with you made me feel self-conscious all over again. And all those news posts about him being your celebrity crush as a child made me angrier. I know it’s not something I should have blamed you for, I was just so jealous I could barely think straight.” 
Luke stepped closer to you, his breath grazing your face. “I’m sorry for being jealous and ever doubting you,” he said honestly. “I should have trusted you when you said you no longer felt anything for him.”
“I’m sorry for brushing you off and not listening,” you said in response. “I promise you, Luke, you’re it for me, too.” 
Luke choked back a laugh of disbelief, grateful for this whole ordeal getting resolved as he bent down to kiss you deeply. Your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer to finally taste him, smell him, feel him again. 
Once you pulled back for air, you crinkled your nose as you smiled. “Does this mean we’re engaged?” you asked curiously, eyes sparkling with happiness and love. “You know, since we’re in agreement and everything.” 
“I would have preferred to get down on one knee and that whole spiel,” Luke sighed dramatically. “But yes, I do suppose we are engaged.” 
Grinning, you pulled him back down for another kiss. “We can get to that sappy stuff later,” you insisted. “I just want to spend the rest of my night with my husband-to-be.” 
--
thank you so much for reading! please like and reblog if you enjoyed! <3
127 notes · View notes
orangeinecstasy · 6 months
Text
calum bf thoughts: part two ฺ。*:・
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
an: hey everyone!!! i finally got around to making calum’s nsfw section. enjoy!
part one
cw: smut after the cut
he’s so sloppy and slutty and i love that about him
drooly make out sessions. he just wants to taste as much of you as possible. he doesn’t care how his chest hurts from not breathing enough he just wants you
praise!! omg he loves when he knows how good me makes you feel
ass guy!! doesn’t care about the size or shape, just loves how easy he has access to it. how it feels against his hands and body.
i can definitely see some sort of corruption kink— it just makes his head spin how someone who’s so sweet and kind can, in an instant, be begging on their knees for his cock
SPANKING! also goes with him being an ass man. just another way he can mark you as his
blindfolds
such sweet aftercare omg. he knows he can be pretty aggressive in bed so he makes sure to pamper you as much as possible afterwards
doggy is definitely his favorite position. especially if he has you pressed against a mirror
something with flavored condoms or lube
RESTRAINTS
body worship
potential a sir/daddy kink
100% an ass eater
hickey obsession
occasional 3somes with the guys, most likely ashton or luke
soft slow moments when he gets back from tour and wants to feel you again
cockwarming
oralfixation
i have to stop myself or i’ll go on forever. hope you enjoyed!
135 notes · View notes
writersdare · 9 months
Text
5SOS ♡ Masterlist
Last update: 20.01.2024
Main Masterlist | Requests are temporary closed | Prompt List | Taglist | Recommendations | Angst Endings
Tumblr media
♡ – readers' favourite; ♥︎ – the most popular 5SOS work
Luke Hemmings
Hold Me Tight ♡ Summary: Luke has been plagued by nightmares, but Y/N was always there for him. Warning: hurt/comfort, nightmares
Let Me Love You NEW Summary: Luke knew it wasn’t his fault Y/N didn’t let him get any closer, but he just wished to know what he could do to make it better. Warning: angsty, trusting issues, mentioning of a breakup, the reader may have low self-esteem Two Gummy Worms Summary: Luke was determined to take Y/N on a night drive. Some things, though, didn’t want to go according to his perfect plan. Warning: friends to lovers, fluff, mentioning of food
He Called Her a Fairy Summary: No matter how excited Luke was to go on tour, it was always too heartbreaking to say goodbye to Y/N. However, that parting was worth going through to meet again. Warning: hurt/comfort, angsty
Eyes Can Speak Too Summary: Being blinded by the feelings for each other, Luke and Y/N didn’t see the obvious things. Warning: friends to lovers, angst, trusting issues, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol
Sweeter Than Honey Summary: Spending a simple evening with Y/N, Luke realised she was always his happy place. Warning: fluff
Baby Girl Summary: Even in Y/N’s darkest times, Luke was always there to guide her to the light. Warning: hurt/comfort, disordered eating
Why Won’t You Love Me Summary: Luke and Y/N broke up after a few months of dating so they could at least remain friends, but seemed like it didn’t ease the pain. Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol
Never Doubt Me Summary: A date, it would seem, could not get any worse, but then Luke remembered a painful rumour he heard about Y/N. Warning: argument
No Longer Together Summary: Trying to move on from a breakup, Luke and Y/N found each other at the same room, playing “spin the bottle”. Warning: College!AU, angst, mention of alcohol and a breakup
More coming...
Ashton Irwin
Keep It Quiet ♡ Summary: Ashton and Y/N kept their relationship a secret for a while, but one interview made the things a little complicated. Warning: none
Give Me Attention Summary: Ashton and Y/N had been friends for a while. However, everything changed once she found out an unpleasant secret he thought to hide from her. Warning: angst, an intimate moment, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol
More coming...
Michael Clifford
Don’t Be a Stranger Summary: The tour was over, and Michael and Y/N finally met again. Both were uncertain who they were to each other after months being apart. Warning: slight angst
Calum Hood
Ghost of You NEW Summary: It had been four months of silence between Calum and Y/N. Could she finally move on?  Warning: angst All Too Well Summary: It’s the first time ever when Calum and Y/N didn’t need to be apart, as they were going on tour together. However, things could never just be perfect, could they? Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing
Strawberry Jam Summary: The winter holidays were simply the best for both Calum and Y/N, especially when a heating problem in their house occurred. Warning: fluff, friends to lovers
Password Is Your Birthday ♡♥︎ Summary: Y/N never doubted Calum’s loyalty, however, once controversial photos were leaked, their relationship was put to the test. Warning: angsty, mention of alcohol
Paris Broke My Heart Part 1 | Part 2 Summary: Calum knew he’d lose Y/N each time she’d start a new relationship, but that time it was different. She was leaving the country, maybe forever. Warning: 18+ (non-detailed smut), angst, fluff, friends to lovers, cursing and mentioning of alcohol
More coming...
Tumblr media
– photo is obv not mine and belongs to the rightful owner –
© writersdare | all rights reserved
All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡
244 notes · View notes
nicksbestie · 7 months
Note
yn falling asleep on calum’s lap
Nap
i love agere fics <33
word count : 687
warnings : none!
enjoy!
<3
Being a little came with a routine, for the most part.
The strictest parts of your routine were bedtime and naptime, and with a stricter caregiver, those were non-negotiables. Calum was strict but he was so loving, and part of that combination came with him making sure you were in bed on time, no exceptions. And most of the time, that wasn’t an issue, but today, naptime had come with a struggle. 
You just didn’t want to go down for a nap. Normally, lunch, paired with a bottle, and promises of snuggles from your caregiver were enough to convince you easily. But today, it wasn’t working. You viewed nap and bedtime as “leaving” your caregiver, and while your subconscious knew that this statement wasn’t true, your little mind truly didn’t get that. Since Calum always promised cuddles and that he’d stay with you during naptime, you normally went happily, but today it just wasn’t enough. 
Time-out hadn’t worked, bribery hadn’t worked, a bottle hadn’t worked, and while he was trying so badly not to show it, Calum was getting so frustrated. He wasn’t mad at you, he never was, but he knew if you didn’t go down for a nap soon that you’d be completely off schedule and it was going to be so difficult to get you back on track, so he needed you to fall asleep roughly in the next twenty minutes, for you to stay on schedule. 
He had finally resorted to picking you up and walking around with you, hoping the motion would help. However, it didn’t, and he was struggling. So, lacking in ideas, he sat down on the couch with you in his lap, gentle hand rubbing your back, your hands clutching your stuffie and comfort blankie as you laid your head against his shoulder, looking up at him with wide eyes, sleep nowhere to be found in them. Calum gave you a soft but tired smile, gently humming along to a tune the band had been working on for their new album. 
He got to the chorus before he noticed that you’d stopped shifting around so much, he looked down at you, realizing a small yawn was making its way out of your mouth, eyes drooping closed. He smiled, pausing the song to pick you up, only for you to whine and for your eyes to pop right back open. It only took him about ten seconds to realize what you wanted, and he continued the soft song, picking up back at the chorus. 
“Into the dark, we’re no good for each other, into the dark, I’m not welcome no more. Cause I been spending all this time alone, I’m on the red line, sinking Aperol…”
The further he got into the song, the more you relaxed in his arms, his soft voice and comfortable hold on you successfully getting you to let yourself fall asleep. He took a deep breath between verses, disguising it as a moment to breathe before continuing the song, but really being a sigh of relief that you were dozing off. By the time he finished the song, you were completely asleep on his lap, stuffie tucked under one arm as your hand gripped his shirt tightly, unconsciously telling him to not let you go. 
He realized there was no way he was going to be able to move you to your bed, not without waking you, and he knew you desperately needed the sleep. You had fallen asleep just in time to get enough sleep and stay on your schedule, and Calum didn’t want to risk it. However, he couldn’t resist grabbing his phone, within arms reach, and snapping a quick photo of the two of you. If you ever found it, he’d insist you were just way too cute to not do it. So, when he was sure he could slightly move without disturbing you, he grabbed his AirPods that were just out of reach, and he slipped one in so that he could watch a show on his phone while you rested. And that was how naptime went, despite the beginning struggles.
102 notes · View notes
tcmmoway · 6 months
Text
graffiti [michael clifford x fem!reader]
Tumblr media
warning: this is my first thing i ever wrote, so dont expect it to be good please
summary: michael and y/n are together in high school, but michael is the bad boy off their class. y/n is the high school sweetheart who enjoys art. michael has a huge crush on her, and asks her on a date where they go spraypaint.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
michael walked into class with his best friends, calum and ashton, as he walked in he was watching you, he always watched you. when he sat down behind you, he sighed watching you draw in your sketchbook as usually.
as you were drawing, luke sat down next to you, he was your best friend off all time. "he is watching you again y/n." he told you, you started to blush and look up from your sketchbook.
even thought michael was one off the most feared boys at your school, dated more girls then one hand can count, he would shit his pants if he wanted to ask you on a date. you were to perfect for him, to good for him.
"michael pay attention to class please." the teacher told him, he was lost in his tought again, thinking about you. "just ask her on a date already man, it would be to easy for you." calum told him, michael sighed, it wasn't as easy for him as they tought.
after class you and luke were already trying to walk out off the classroom, until someone stopped him, ashton, michael his friend. after he whispers something in luke his ear, luke started to smile and ashton grinned.
"y/n i i have to pick something up at the art classroom, are you walking with me?" luke asked and you nodded, walking to the artroom.
when you arrived luke did not walk in with you. "aren't you coming?" you asked him and he just grinned, when you turned around michael stood there.
"looks like they've brought you here i see." he chuckeld and walked over to you. "what are you doing here?" you asked him, looking confused.
"y/n i've liked you for a really long time now but i was to scared to ask you on a date." he said, toying with his fingers, they were dirty with paint on them. "would you like to go on a date with me, please?" you just giggeld. "yes of course." you smiled and walked over to him.
"oh great i tought you would say no." he finally looked up, looking you in the eyes. "oh michael don't be so silly." you laughed and grabbed his hand, looking at them. "do you paint a lot? since your hands look so dirty." you asked him and he nodded. "graffiti."
you smiled and looked up at him again. "i also like art a lot." he smiled then. "would you like me to take you there?" he asked you. "yes i would love that." you said and he smiled. "after school i will take you there alright? let me bring you to your next class so you wont miss it." he said, and he brought you to class.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"ready to go?" he asked you when the two of you walked out off class. "yes of course." you smiled at him, walking to your locker, when all of suden luke stood next to michael. "take good care of her will you?" he told michael, and he just laughed. "i'm serious michael." he then said. "i will take good care of her don't worry luke." he said smiling grabbing your hand.
when the two of you walked out of school, you two went straight to his car. he let you step in, and then walked to his seat, sitting down and starting the car. as he drove away, you looked at him, and he smiled back to you.
when he parked the car, the two of you were at a trailerpark. you stepped out of the car, looking around. "welcome to my sketchbook." he smirked takeing your hand and walking to a wall. you looked the eyes out of your head, the artworks on the wall were amazing. "you made this?" you asked him, he smiled proudly and nodded.
"i see you finally asked her on a date." calum said, as he walked up to the two of you. "well yeah, i guess i did." he smiled and calum handed him a bottle off spray paint. "you are into graffiti too?" you asked calum. "only if someone intresting is around." he grinned and walked away. "don't mind him please." michael told you and you nodded.
"so what are you going to make?" you asked him as you sat down on the ground. "whatever you want me to make princess, hand me your sketchbook please." you grabbed your backpak, getting your sketchbook out, handing it to him.
as he looked trought it, you saw him smile, mulitpale times. "so you love drawing me i see?" he grinned, as you blushed. "well- uh- yes." you said as he sat beside you. "we can make this." he said as he showed you the page of a drawing of yours, it was a drawing off a bouqet flowers. "we?" you asked him. he lauged. "yes we y/n, a date isn't a one person thing."
you stood up, and watch him grabbing more spraypaint. "mikey i really want to, but i'm not good at this. and isn't it sort of illegal?" you asked him and he grinned. "well yes, but that doesn't take away the fun." he said as he handed you some paint, and you giggeld.
he learnd you how to work with the paint and together the two of you made an amazing painting. when the two of you were done, michael walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. you blushed as you looked at his action. "we did an amazing job, don't you think?" he smiled as you nodded.
"now lets get you home princess." he said as he let go of you. the others had already left and it was starting to get colder. you grabbed your stuff and as michael could read your mind he gave you his sweater. "i don't want you to get cold." he smiled as he took you to his car, driving you home.
"thank you for this michael, it was amazing." you told him when he parked his car infront of your house. "of course, will i see you at school tomorrow?" he asked you and you smiled. "yes, well i will see you tomorrow." you told him, and when you were on point of leaving his car, you gave him a kiss on his cheek and then left his car, disapering in to your house.
michael stayed in his car, blushing as he watched you leave. "she likes me." he said to himself as he smiled and drove away.
23 notes · View notes
bloodhoundluke · 1 year
Text
slip away – luke hemmings
description: luke is having a tough time, and his girlfriend has had enough of his behavior.
pairing: she/her x luke hemmings
warnings: 🔞 drug abuse, angst, cursing (let me know if there's anything else).
word count: 1,4k-ish.
a/:n: so finally the when facing the things we turn away from series continues 🖤 this has been on my drafts for a while now and i decided to publish it after editing it. i was supposed to publish the series in a chronological order but i couldn't wait to publish this first (call me impatient lol) (edit: i republished this due to some issues) 🥺
this is pt. 8 of when facing the things we turn away from series.
Tumblr media
GIF by kaleidoscopeminds
For the longest time, they were happy. Luke thought they were made for each other, and maybe they were for a while. Luke had feared that day would come. The day she would leave. She was tired of all the excuses, lies and the pain he had put her through. He was tired of hurting her. He really tried to change, but he just didn’t know how. The therapy and rehab helped for a while, until he relapsed and spiraled into a dark place.
It wasn’t just the drugs for her. He had changed, and if it came to asking her, he had changed for the worse. She happily played the role of the supportive girlfriend for a year or so. She tried to be by his side. He was the love of her life after all. He became cynical, cold. Distant. She tried to reach him, but how could you reach someone who didn’t want to be found? Lonely nights at their shared bedroom drove her insane. Luke spent his days in the studio or promoting the band’s new singles. Afterwards he hung out with the boys or sipped whiskey on the rocks at whatever bar he could find. He swore that he had been to every single bar in LA, and it humiliated him. But an addict would always be an addict, no matter the substance, right?
It was a Monday night. Stumbling across the house, Luke fell to the floor. She found him and helped pick him up. A bag of some white substance fell to the floor. She couldn’t believe it and she wanted to yell at him. She couldn’t understand what he was saying to her. It was utter nonsense. What he wanted to say was ‘sorry’. He didn’t even remember the last time they had truly spoken and neither did she. They were strangers to each other. She waited until he passed out on the sofa and checked his breathing just to make sure everything was alright. She got rid of the white substance and placed a glass of water on the coffee table for him. Petunia snuggled up to him, and she could barely remember when she had seen the two lying next to each other. It reminded of how things used to be and the memories felt like a knife in the chest. But she had decided already that she’d leave him. Around 5am, Luke made his way to the bedroom and woke her up. She decided it was time. The time to leave him. If she'd wait for longer, she didn't know if she would be able to pull it off. Luke would apologize, and she'd comfort him. That scenario had happened one too many times already.
“Don’t you leave me in this silence”, he sobbed into her black hoodie, his head snuggled against her chest.
“I am sorry, Luke…but we are no longer good together. I can’t take it anymore…the lies. The... bullshit. I am done”, she looked down at him and bit her lips. They had been like this for a while now, just her hugging him and his head against her chest. But she would have to move away from him soon. She was still scared that he could persuade her to stay.
Luke repositioned himself and didn’t say anything back. For a while, their arms were wrapped around each other’s bodies. Luke pressed a kiss on top of her head, as if saying she mattered the most to him. And she did, of course she did. He knew he fucked up when he started to use again, but it was an addiction. There were bound to be setbacks.
She was the first one to back away from the embrace.
“I lo….love you”, was the last thing she heard before exiting their once so happy home. The house they had bought together. The house they had renovated together, despite it took forever to finish. The house in which they had made their future plans. But now it had turned to a house of a broken, lonely hearted man. 
Luke replayed the night she found out about his drug abuse in his head about a million times. He couldn't stop blaming himself.
“Do you want to be with me, Luke?”, she questioned the curly-haired man in front of her.
“Of course I do”.
“Then why do you do this shit?”, she was pissed, Luke could tell.
“What shit?”, he spat.
“I found the Xanax”, her tears fell down her cheeks despite she tried hard to keep them in.
“What do you mean? Xanax?”. She could tell he was acting oblivious - she knew him too well at this point. He was lying to her, she knew. 
“Yes, the fuckin’ Xanax, Luke! What the fuck is going on?”.
“Nothin’. Nothin’ is going on. Don’t worry”. He locked himself in the downstairs bathroom - thankfully she had removed the pills from there. She prayed he didn’t have another stash lying somewhere.
“Luke? Luke! Open the door”, she banged heavily on the door. No answer. She kept on going, until he opened the door. 
His eyes were bloodshot. He stood still. It was like he didn’t have any emotions behind those eyes. He looked like Luke… but he wasn’t like Luke. He didn’t seem to resemble the Luke she had fallen in love with. Not the giggly, charming Luke. Not the empathetic, loveable Luke. He was an empty shell.
“Help me, please”, Luke whimpered the next morning. She had almost dropped him off at some rehabilitation center last night, but Luke had begged her not to do so.
“I promise, I’ll help you”, she planted a kiss on his forehead and caressed his hair. What had happened? And how come hadn’t she noticed?
It had been a year since she had left him. She hoped he’d be better off without her and vice versa. It had been an adjustment for them both; trying to get used to the idea of not being together anymore. For a while, she had felt horrible and devastated. So heartbroken. She felt like there was a piece of her soul missing. Everything seemed to be a reminder of him. Seeing the heart shaped cookies in the nearby store they used to eat together felt like a punch in the stomach. Hearing their favorite romantic ballads on the radio killed her inside. The smell of his worn out sweaters that she had accidentally packed drove her insane: why couldn't she just forget about him already?  Slowly, but surely she survived. The things that reminded of him gradually started to feel indifferent. Sometimes they even evoked positive feelings: she was grateful for the good times they had shared. And the bad times were a life lesson.
What she didn’t know was that Luke was an absolute mess for the first five months. Without the help from the boys, he probably wouldn’t have eaten in days. Or left his bed. Or brushed his teeth. All that was racing around his mind was her. And the memories they had created together. The beautiful picnic she had set up for him when they were in London a few years ago. The first 'I love you' in the rain. The way he introduced her to his family and they instantly fell in love with her, just like he had done when they first met. And the moments that never happened, like the proposal he had planned for her. It was supposed to be an intimate and breathtaking picnic. Great food and wine, and even greater company. He could still imagine what their life together would be now that he is better. How they would share small moments of intimacy, promising to love each other until the day they die. How he'd do anything in his power to make her feel like the luckiest woman in the world.  
The memories started to fade over time. But it didn’t mean they didn’t matter; they mattered the world. Luckily for Luke, he had experienced two silver linings in his life: her and rehab.
“I can feel you slip away, like I knew you would”, he sadly half-smiles and pets Petunia on the balcony of his newly purchased oceanfront house.
© 2023 bloodhoundluke.
79 notes · View notes