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too-queer-to-live · 5 years

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I know pride month is literally almost over but I was inspired by this post to compile a list of songs that Hit Differently when covered by a queer artist/interpreted as explicitly queer:

“Accidentally in Love” by The Counting Crows (yes, the one from Shrek)

“So she said, ‘What’s the problem, baby?’ What's the problem? I don't know, well maybe I'm in love... How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love”

Cover by Mia Wray

“A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri

“Heart beats fast, colors and promises, how to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall? ... time stands still, beauty in all she is”

“A Whole New World” from Aladdin

“When did you last let your heart decide? ... A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view; no one to tell us no or where to go or say we're only dreaming”

Cover by princepeterwolf | Violin Cover by The Shirtless Violinist (ft. gay music video)

“Boys” by Charli XCX

“Don't be mad, don't be mad, not like I had a choice, I was busy thinking 'bout boys”

Cover by gay artist Sakima (with modified lyrics) | Cover by Alex Heart

“Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon

“I can't fight this feeling any longer, and yet I'm still afraid to let it flow, what started out this friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show... I can’t fight this feeling anymore, I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for”

Gay Music Video

“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley (insp)

“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can’t help falling in love with you?”

Cover by The Sydney Gay & Lesbian Choir | Cover by Pentatonix

“Cut to the Feeling” by Carly Rae Jepsen

“I've been denying how I feel, you've been denying what you want, (you want from me) talk to me baby”

“Delicate” by Taylor Swift

“Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate”

“Dirty Little Secret” by The All-American Rejects

“When we live such fragile lives, it’s the best way we survive... you are the only one that needs to know; I’ll keep you my dirty little secret; don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret”

“Don’t Matter” by Akon

“Nobody want to see us together, but it don’t matter, no... cause we gonna fight... fight for our right to love”

“For Good” by Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel - From Wicked

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn... I do believe I have been changed for the better, and because I knew you... I have been changed for good”

“Girls” by The 1975

“I'm worrying about my brother finding out; what’s the fun in doing what you're told?”

Cover by Daisy Clark

“Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy” by Fall Out Boy

“Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman, maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town”

Cover by headlesscabbage

“Heaven” by Julia Michaels

“Love's my religion but he was my faith, something so sacred so hard to replace; falling for him was like falling from grace... no need to imagine, ‘cause I know it’s true; they say all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you”

Cover by Mark Jeffcoat

“Heaven’s Gate” by Fall Out Boy

“In the end if I don't make it on the list, would you sneak me a wristband? Or would you give me... a boost over Heaven's gate? I'm gonna need a boost ‘cause everything else is a substitute for your love”

“If It Kills Me” by Jason Mraz

“Well all I really wanna do is love you, a kind much closer than friends use... This double life I lead isn't healthy for me, in fact it makes me nervous; if I get caught I could be risking it all”

“I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz

“It's our God-forsaken right to be loved... so I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait”

“Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield

“Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine... I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot ”

Cover by queer artist Mary Lambert

“Let it Go” by Demi Lovato - From Frozen

“Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried; don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be; conceal, don't feel, don't let them know, well, now they know; let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore”

“Like Real People Do” by Hozier

“Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips; we should just kiss like real people do”

“Make You Miss Me” by Sam Hunt

“Every boy you ever met was too easy to forget, well, I ain't going out like that”

Cover by Sophia Scott

“Mr. Brightside” by The Killers

“Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine”

ps: It’s a Bisexual Anthem

“Never Stop” by SafetySuit

“And with this love song to you, it’s not a momentary phase”

“Night Changes” by One Direction

“She's falling, doesn't even know it yet, having no regrets is all that she really wants; we're only getting older baby”

Cover by Georgia Merry

“Perfect” by Ed Sheeran

“We are still kids, but we're so in love, fighting against all odds; I know we'll be alright this time”

Cover by Hannah Trigwell | Cover by Luciana Zogbi | Cover by The Shirtless Violinist ft. Tom Goss | Gay Music Video

“Rainbow” by Kesha

“You'll find a rainbow, rainbow, baby trust me, I know life is scary but just put those colors on, girl, come and play along with me tonight”

“Reflection” (Pop Version) by Christina Aguilera - From Mulan

“You may think you see who I really am, but you’ll never know me; every day it’s as if I play a part... I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart... Somehow I will show the world what's inside my heart and be loved for who I am; who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don’t know? Must I pretend that I’m someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside?”

“Rude” by MAGIC!

“Don’t you know I’m human too? Why you gotta be so rude? I’m gonna marry her anyway... no matter what you say”

Cover by Kina Grannis | LGBT Cover w/ altered lyrics: “It’s not a phase, can't live without her; love me or hate me we will be gay standing at that altar, or we will run away to a more accepting place”

“She Looks so Perfect” by 5SOS

“Let's get out, cause this deadbeat town's only here just to keep us down... You look so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear”

Cover by Against The Current

“Shut Up And Dance” by Walk The Moon

“Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me; I said you're holding back, she said shut up and dance with me; this woman is my destiny”

Instrumental Cover by the Lesbian & Gay Big Apple Corps | Cover by Natalie Joly

“Single” by The Neighbourhood

“I don't know if we should be alone together, I still got a crush, that's obvious, if nobody's around, what's stopping us?”

Cover by NeLLa

“Something to Talk About” by Bonnie Raitt

“They keep saying we laugh just a little too loud, we stand just a little too close, we stare just a little too long-- maybe they're seeing something we don't, darlin... let’s give ‘em something to talk about, how about love?”

“Take Me to Church” by Hozier (official video features gay couple)

“The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you; I was born sick, but I love it, command me to be well”

Cover by gay artist Jonathon Royse | Cover by Ellie Goulding

“The Only Exception” by Paramore

“Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts, and we've got to find other ways to make it alone but keep a straight face”

“Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran

“People fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just the touch of a hand... maybe we found love right where we are”

“Out and Proud” by Gangsta Gudiya feat. Nikhil D’souza and Ugoeze - w/ altered lyrics: “People fall in love in every which way, whether it’s a woman or man; doesn’t really matter if I’m straight or gay, I don’t want my love to be bad, so honey now please accept me for who I am; let me live life the only way I can”

“This Is What You Came For” by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna (inspired by this post)

“Everybody’s watching her but she’s looking at you”

“Thnks fr th Mmrs” by Fall Out Boy

“He tastes like you, only sweeter”

“Treat You Better” by Shawn Mendes

“I know I can treat you better than he can” (and, as I used to mishear it, “any guy like you deserves a gentleman”)

Cover by gay artist TheVloggingNook | Lesbian Version w/ altered lyrics: “any gay like you deserves a lesbian”

“Video Games” by Lana del Ray

“They say that the world was built for two, only worth living if somebody is loving you; baby now you do”

Cover by The Young Professionals (the main reason this song made the list)

“You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift

“You say you’re fine- I know you better than that, hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?... Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time”

Gay Music Video Re-Make by The YellowJackets

“You’ll Be In My Heart” by Phil Collins

“Why can't they understand the way we feel? They just don't trust what they can't explain; I know we're different, but deep inside us we're not that different at all... don't listen to them, ‘cause what do they know? We need each other, to have, to hold”

(Feel free to add more!!)

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tydelwve · 6 years

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Blame It On Me

Characters: past Luke x reader, publicist named Karen, James Corden

Word Count: 1643

Warnings: angst. I know I should have done fluff for my first fic but this one was just calling my name.

Summary: When Luke lies about your break up, what happens when you reciprocate?

Beta(s): @suburbanaesthetics

Author’s Note: This is the first 5sos fic I've done in a while, so I hope you like it! It’s based off of the song Blame It On Me by Chrisette Michelle. The song will be in bold, and I had to change a few pronouns, so those changes will also be italicized. Feedback is always appreciated! enjoy xx

The animosity towards you and your past relationship with Luke was so bad that your publicist need you to make a public statement.

Obviously, that statement was posted on Twitter, and it read:

“Sometimes you can work it out. Sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you’re forced to watch everything fall apart, it’s out of your hands. Sometimes leaving is easy. Sometimes it ain’t. Sometimes it hurts to know the loving we had is slowly fading away.

You can say whatever you like.

Blame it on me. Say it’s my fault. Say that I left him outside in the cold with a broken heart. I really don’t care. I ain’t crying no more. Say I’m a liar, cheater—say anything that you want—as long as it’s over.

I ain’t no quitter. I just ain’t the type. I tried to see him through… I tried to make it to the finishing line.

You thought it was meant to be, yeah?

I’ll admit, so did I. Every once in a while, everyone thinks they figured it out. Sometimes you’re not right.

Yes, I love him, but I really gotta lose him. Freedom’s where I want to be. Yes, I’ll probably always love him, but I’m moving—gotta do this for me.”

Within thirty minutes, your tweet went viral and #BlameItOnLuke was trending. People were shocked to hear you speak up about the relationship that just ended a little over a month ago. You were on every news website, and the entire ordeal meet more people pumped to watch your interview with James Corden.

No one truly knew what happened except you and Luke, but he was more than willing to throw you under the bus to keep his name in the clear in all the interviews they had after the break up.

Meanwhile, you just took it off. The hate never bothered you. You were telling yourself things worse than what one of the fans could’ve said.

Now that everyone knew you were ready to speak your truth, the game had completely changed. Everyone was ready and waiting to hear what you had to say.

“Welcome to the show, Y/N Y/L/N, everyone,” James said as you made your way to the seat near him. The crowd cheered and whistles as you waved in their direction.

“Thank you for having me, James. It’s been so long since I’ve been here,” your smile was wide as you readjusted yourself to get comfortable in the seat.

“Last time you were here, you were promoting a movie and sporting a ring on your finger. Now, one of those things isn’t happening today. No more ring,” James said in awe as you nodded.

You held up your empty left hand for everyone to see as you said, “A lot can change in a year. People change and so do promises.”

“We will get to that in a second. Let’s talk about Love, Simon. You were among the actors on the cast that was very vocal about the importance of the movie and the message that it wants to send out. Why is this film important to you?”

“The biggest message the we’ve promote is that straight shouldn’t be what people assume your sexuality is as soon as they meet you. The people a part of the LGBT+ community are more than the stereotypes placed on them, and we feel that this movie proves that there’s nothing wrong with loving who you love.”

James asked you a few more questions before the million dollar question came into play. “Now, a month ago, you and Luke Hemmings broke up. He was very vocal about his side of the story, but a few days ago, you brought to the world’s attention that he may have not being telling the truth. Why, after so long, did you feel like you need to speak up about the situation?”

•flashback•

You sat on the couch and scrolled through the hate comments you had received. Ever since you and Luke broke up, you found yourself reading what others had to say about you.

Your publicist came in and immediately took your phone from you. “We need to talk,” she said. Her eyes were tired, and her was voice steady. “I can’t do my job of getting you good publicity if everyone thinks you’re a flake, Y/N. You need to make a statement about this situation with Luke.”

You looked down and fiddled with your fingers. “I can’t, Karen. It will just make the situation worse.”

“Worse for who?” she questioned. She rubbed her temples before she stated, “I don’t know what happened between you and him, but I know you. You left him because it was your last choice. He had to have done something, and your letting him run your name into the ground!”

“He has millions of fans looking up to him. Don’t you think they would be crushed to find out that he’s a fucking cheater!” you exploded.

The room fell silent. “I caught him when I surprised him and came home early from set. He promised me that he wasn’t seeing her anymore, but there she was underneath him,” you spoke lowly.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that, but this is why you need to speak up. You need to make a statement by the end of the week or I will for you. Why the hell are you still protecting him when he’s shown he isn’t going to do the same?” she walked out and left you with your thoughts.

•end of flashback•

“I decided that I was done protecting him. My publicist really made a convincing point. I’ve realized that by waiting so long to say anything, my words will not hold value with his fans. It’s Luke’s turn to speak up,” you said.

“Well, hopefully we will get that soon. Thank you for coming on today, Y/N.” Corden closed the show, and you went home.

A few hours later, there was a knock at your door. You opened it to see and unexpected guest.

“Luke? What the hell are you doing here?”

“Can I come in? Can we talk, please?”

You moved out of the way any let him inside. He looked around your house like a lost child before he took a seat in the kitchen.

You took in his look as he fiddled with his fingers. He wore your old ring around his neck. His hair was disheveled, and his clothes didn’t match.

He couldn’t even look you in the eye.

“I told the boys what actually happens between us. They told me to get off of my high horse and come speak to you,” his voice was soft.

You took a seat across from him. “Well if you just came to say sorry—“

“I never deserved you,” Luke cut you off as he finally looked you in your eyes. “You always had my back. You were always there for me. Instead of showing you the love you deserve, I cheated on you. You didn’t deserve the disrespect I showed you and our relationship.”

A stray tear ran down your face as you said, “Why did you lie about what happened?”

“I was scared,” his voice cracked. “If I would’ve stayed silent, the media would have painted me to be the bad guy because I always talked about you. I didn’t want to be ridiculed for a stupid choice that I shouldn’t have made.”

“At least your reputation wasn’t drowning. I took all of the hate to protect you. I actually thought you had a better reason than being scared. This has gone too far, and you need to make this right.”

You placed your open laptop in front of him and he looked at you wide eyed. He took a deep breath and logged into his Twitter to live stream.

You sat beside him as he began to record live. “It is currently 2AM, and I am at Y/N’s house because I have to be honest for a fucking change.”

You could tell that he was about to break down when he looked down at his fingers, so you spoke up, “We broke up because of things that Luke did. It was a reoccurring thing that I thought had stopped a year earlier.”

Luke looked up and said, “I had been seeing another girl behind Y/N’s back. I would love to say the generic stuff, but I knew what I was doing, I knew it was going to hurt her, and it wasn’t a mistake. It was a conscious choice that I made.”

“About a year earlier, I caught Luke with this girl, and he promised that it was a one time thing. He made sure that I knew he only loved me, and I stayed.” Tears welled up in the corners of your eyes.

“The day we broke up, she came to my house to surprise me and saw me with that girl. We had a huge fight and she broke up with me. I didn’t realize that actions had consequences until right then. She had been nothing but good to me, and I took advantage of her kindness. I’m sorry for lying to all of you. I guess I should end it here. Good night, guys.”

He turned to look at you. “Y/N, I am sorry for how I treated you. I hope one day you find someone who deserves you and appreciates you. Find someone better than me, okay?”

You nodded and pulled him into a hug. He relaxed as he wrapped his arms around you.

“If I told you that I have a friend that would be perfect for you…” Luke started.

“I’d tell you to slow your fucking roll, Hemmings,” you laughed.

And from that moment, everything was okay.

#luke hemmings #luke 5sos #5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke x reader #luke x you #ty masterfind

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lashton-is-my-drug · 1 year

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I’m still not over the fact that for the RAH ONO The Feeling of Falling Upwards show, Luke introduced Ashton as “sweaty boy”, as he’s done a handful of times before ☺️❤️. This is notable because he only introduced Michael and Cal with just their names.

Lashton is so wild.

As they should.

As they deserve to be.

Luke loves Ash so much.

Seizing the opportunity to debut Lashton’s duet song “Caramel” was a bold move too. I’m happy the fans went wild for it.

“I think it’s true love”

“Love like a landslide, I kiss you Goodnight”

I’m partially holding my tongue about the stunt that night, and the interactions between Luke and S being so fucking awkward. And her trying to make it Sierra featuring Luke. Notice then how none of the other bandmates interact with her. It should’ve been only 5SOS’s night. They’ve worked so hard to be where they are. And then the hug Luke gives is like one you’d give a buddy. Or my dad used to give me as a little girl. 🤭

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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411

Do you have any old calendars in your room? I have old planners from 2012-2017 if they count as calendars. Do you have any exercise equipment you just hang clothes on? I don’t even have exercise equipment of my own at all haha. Even if I did though I don’t think I’d be that messy. What do you like best about yourself? I’m quite detail-oriented. I can be crazy about it but I’d take it over being inattentive any day. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? I *think* it was Rainbow’s Sunset. It had such potential for a Filipino LGBT film, but they squashed it so bad. Is there a certain breed of dog you just can't stand? Fucking chihuahuas. I never want one of those near me lmao. I MEAN I’d save one of them if they were dying or starving, but I generally just hate their attitude.

Do you own any stuffed animals? I don’t, but my sister is nuts about them. She buys a new one every time we go to the mall. How long until your next birthday? Three weeks till I’m 21 bound. When was the last time you had peanut butter? I’m not so sure. I don’t really like when it’s a spread, but I will have peanut butter-flavored anything. Obama: Love him or hate him? As an observer from the outside, I love him. He’s at least better than the shitshow y’all had elected three years ago. Do you try to blend in with the crowd, or prefer to stand out? I just do my own thing and wouldn’t really care if I ended up as the former or the latter. Say something about the last person to comment you on myspace: What was the last book you read? Idk, something for my Pol Sci class if that counts. How are you currently feeling at the moment? I’m a little hungover and sleepy and I need sloppy hangover food right now, but it’s nothing serious. And the reason for that feeling? I drank so much last night and ate very little. Do you ever feel like you should have been born in a different decade? No, I’m fine where I’m at. Do you like the winter? I would probably like it if I got to experience it. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. Will that be changing anytime soon? Highly doubt it. What was the last thing you bought? How much did you spend on it? A pitcher of some cocktail. I don’t even remember how much it was, I just kept pulling out money last night. Are you a Twilight fan? YESSSSSSSSSSSSS If so, have you seen the movie yet? I’ve seen the first one a literal hundred times. I know every word to it. How many profile views do you have on MySpace? What do you currently hear? There was a tricycle (or a motorcycle?) that zoomed past the house just now and I heard its engine. Anything hurting on you right now? Just my stomach because it feels empty.

When was the last time you sent someone a letter in the mail? Wow uhhh never haha. Do you like video games? I can appreciate them, but I don’t play them myself. Anything you're looking forward to? I’m watching the UP/ADMU volleyball game laterrrrr and I’m super excited for it. Are you currently missing someone? Kind of. Anything you're wanting to say to someone right now? Sure. Do you have anything in your room that has penguins on it? I doubt it. Are you any good at HTML? I used to be when I would edit my themes on Tumblr. I barely remember any of those tricks now. Do you like the band Mae? (They're amazing!) Never heard. Have you ever kissed someone who had braces? Yes. Funny feeling, but it’s cute. What's your favorite fruit? I hate fruit!!! If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? This was also asked in the previous survey. Dark green. What's the most random thing in your room? I have a weird inflated figure of a pig on top of my closet. I won it at an arcade. Do you say "like" too much? Yeah I think so. In your opinion, what's the worst music genre out there? I’m not gonna shit on an entire genre and call it the worst lol. I can live without country, though. What was the last thing you ate? One of the basic burgers at McDonald’s and their fries. Are you currently on a diet? Nope. Have you ever experienced true love? What I’ve been experiencing for three years feels like it, but I don’t really like to claim it - the idea of ~true love~ is very subjective. What's the longest relationship you've been in? Three years.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving? (Assuming you celebrate it, that is) What does your last text say? “I’ll excuse us.” Do you believe in evolution or Creation? Evolution. Duh? Have you ever been to any concerts? Which ones? Paramore two times, One Direction, Coldplay (from the fifth floor of a parking lot), a whole bunch of local gigs. Who was the last person to smack your booty? Probs Gab. Bright colors or pastels? Pastels! What's something you're really wanting right now? HANGOVER FOOD. I need a really greasy fried chicken with nachos and a burger right now, fuuuuuuuck. I’m so hungry. Do you like Paramore? OMG I didn’t know this question was going to be on here :(((((( I LOVE THEM On average, how much TV do you watch each day? 0. Do you need to do laundry? I don’t do laundry. Do you download songs illegally? (i.e. Limewire) I used to, but now I just do Spotify. Do you play any instruments? I can’t. I was not blessed in that department. If not, do you wish you did? Of course I do. I would have loved to know how to play the piano or the violin. What was the last song/songs you listened to on repeat? Lie To Me by 5SOS. Who are your top friends? QUICK! The world is ending!!! Fish or chicken??? Chicken. Anywho, when was the last time you went out on a date? Last Thursday. Gab and I had Yabu for dinner - been legit a long while since we had a proper dinner like that. Pants or shorts? Shorts. Do you need to pee? Not right now. Plans for tomorrow? Study! Gotta bounce back after this shitty week. When was the last time you colored in a coloring book? December. I invested in several adult coloring books at the time to help cope with my annual Christmas depression thing. Are you really a kid at heart? I can be.

#survey #surveys

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wherethehellisderrymaine · 2 years

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December Wrap Up

Books: TBR

la patagonia rebelde (argentina - history)

more than two (relationships - nonfiction)

detransition, baby (lgbt - fiction) OR she who became the sun (lgbt - fantasy)

the push (thriller)

klara and the sun (science fiction - japanese) OR never let me go

billy summers - STEPHEN KING

Games People Play

Songs:

batmovil - hens

nieve - aron

amor de verbena - pole

stay with me, mix - night tempo

mon amour - zzoilo, aitana

2011 - 5sos

Events:

date - fer - cinema

spotify wrapped

i miss being artistic - i wanna have more time to enjoy that

03: Fo and Flor’s wedding

04: date - fer - dogs - antares - el salmon - make out - emi y vane - clip - depto costa - house - seks

06: completed Caroline’s 50 day Epic program :’) -- great body image // neutral -- caring more about what I can do with my body (progressive overload) than what it looks like.

08: tree decor, chill family time, fo’s cake

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kv9wtEJkLYBMj4cmigPkm9ujS4ceJZRxWeXTSG272Bc/edit wrnrs card game for Cati

a lot of things happened the rest of the month but now it’s february and I didn’t close this wrap up. here we go:

other dates with fer - i really like him but I don’t want to. I don’t understand him. He say he’s asexual bc he’s traumaticed for his previous toxic relatioship, but when we go out he ends up inviting me over to his house and he ends up fucking me. Which I love but I feel awkward. Is he usign me? bc he knows I don’t want a relatioship, so why would he like about his sexual orientation? if not, I feel like he is doing something he does not want to do... I don’t know. He said he likes me but that i am “too good for him” and that I should be with someone like his best friend???? what the hell? while his friends talks to me (more than he does) and tells me that I have to be patient with him and that he really likes me ?????? This is a mess and I hate it because I know I’m gonna end up wanting to see him after my trip and he will be MIA (which is exactly what happened and I’m still trying to find someone who makes out as good as him)

dates with other guys, none of them worked for me (obviously, bc i’m fixated with fer, shit).

fiesta de la serpiente with palito and car - fer said he wasn’t going and when I told him I was there, EMO TEXTED ME AT 3 AM ASKING ME WHERE I WAS BC THEY COULD NOT FIND ME. excuse me??? i looked for them for like LITERALLY 5 minutes and then they told me they’d left bc they were not having fun. I was ANGRY AF so I did not care about looking ridiculous dancing. I guy approached me and started talking to me. We made out, I liked it, I wanted to go to his apartment but I couldn’t so he gave me his number and I went a few days later. He introduced me to wie and I introduced him to Doja Cat. We had sex, it was great, chill and great. That was it. I thibk about texting him to fuck again somedays but I am not crazy about him and that’s great.

christmas. it rained and i went to take pictures of the sunset at the beach. fer saw my story and WENT OVER TO MEET ME AND GIVE A KISS FOR CHIRSTMAS... why? what? why do you keep feeding my addiction and WHY DO I ALLOW IT? i’m the worse.

palito’s birthday. had fun, played with benji (i love that he loves dinosaurs and wanted to show me his toy’s collection, he’s the best kid ever) --- emo texted me telling me where he was with fer and that “they wanted to see me” ????? they went OVER TO PALO’S HOUSE TO PICK ME UP, but i was too nervous and I asked flor to go with me (i owe her big time for that). ended up, again, at fer’s house. classic

dinner at emo’s apartment. he talked to me more than fer, so i paid more attnetion to him bc if not, i was going to kill that little hot piece of ass. emo lended me a book to read on the trip and he wrote on the inside “LAS COSAS QUE NO SUCEDEN EN LA VIDA ES POR DOS MOTIVOS: 1) NO TENIAN QUE SUCEDER. 2) NO ERA EL MOMENTO” ok. i got the message. I have to let go of your friend bc CLEARLY he is not going to talk to me anymore and this is your way of giving me the heads up. Thansk Emo. I’m not blaming Fer. He has his own stuff going on and he did nothing wrong. I just hate myself for allowing all of this to happen. I should have said no many dates ago. But here we are.

i feel sick bc of missing him. i’m stupid. why do i care about this much? it’s nothing. I have to stop being so intense and dramatic.

new years eve. sad. binged. felt like shit. almost purged but I didn’t. i forced myself to go to sleep and think only about the trip.

aaaaand that was the end of 2021. a heel of an year. lots of thign happened. I’m ending it on a minor low, because my brain is making me think dark shit like no one wants me, no matter how nice / good / atractive / interesting /patiente I am. I just want someone to give my attention to every now and then, and to have that in return. I don’t want a boyfriend /girlfriend; I just want friends who want to make out with me and occasionally have sex. why is it that hard to find?

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orange-minion-blog · 6 years

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Worst Way to Come Out...

My whole life I’ve wanted my best friends to come out as gay and want to date me just so that I would have an excuse to be gay with them. I suppose I always knew I wasn’t straight, but it always felt wrong. Until recently (the past year) I hadn’t heard of the extensive world of the LGBT+ community or if there was anything more (in terms of sexuality) than straight or gay. This new world of names and labels that seemed strange at first but over time they grew to be more important to me than the ideas I had before.

A week before the end of the school year I had just started to realise how much I related to and was attracted to Harley Quinn. At the same time I just so happened to be talking in my friends group chat, playing some sort of “would you f*ck them?” game. Someone would post a picture and we would all say whether or not we would sleep with them. So as we were playing the game people from mine and my best friend’s favourite bands (5SOS and the vamps) would come up and we’d say we would. Then Harley came up… I didn’t reply… everyone else did. So my boyfriend at the time messaged me the picture of her again and asked me privately. I accidently sent something I wasn’t ready for, “yeah she’s sexy”. After the awkwardness that followed I thought that would be it. The next day at lunch in school the boys in my friend group were looking at attractive girls on Instagram and were trying to decide if this particular girl was showing too much skin so they asked me as another opinion. My response was more analytical pointing out that she was only in her underwear. Joffrey then exclaimed “just admit it Danny, we know your gay. You called Harley Quinn sexy. Well if you’re not gay then you’re at least bi.” The only way I can describe the feeling I felt was my whole world collapsing and wanting to delete or redo the night before at the least. I can’t even put it into words to describe how horrible it felt. I had to respond quickly but I had been accused of lying before so I wasn’t going to now. I must be, I played it off as a bit of a joke, that’s all I could do. I didn’t even know for myself.

At the start of the holidays I was calling myself bisexual but it didn’t feel right. The first person who I voluntarily told was the only lgbt person I was comfortable talking to. I told Lores I was bi and that I liked a girl in school who I nicknamed Miss Perfect (because she acted like she was). To be completely honest I didn’t like her that much, it was my best friend that I really liked. Towards the end of the holidays when I was discovering more lgbt terms and found the label that stuck. Pansexaul, attracted to people for who they are and how they present themselves, not what they have in their pants. This fit. It was just right. I told Lores who is now my gay best friend. He was happy for me that I finally found something that felt right and was happy sharing it with my new friend group. I had to walk out of my other one not for being a bit gay but something weird happened there.

But now, a year later, I’m happily out in in my friend group and working up towards coming out to my family.

#~lbgt #lgbtqia #pansexual #bisexual #coming out

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permanganateion · 3 years

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Tagged by still @direwolf-summer da wonder (my vocabularies of English isn’t enough to describe my love to her so I just go simple loll)

Name: here is ion/阿過

Gender: she/her

Star sign: scorpio ✨mysterious✨ (I used to hate my sign cuz people always say bad things bout scorpio but now I’m just like idc dude fuck off

Height: 170cm. fuck the feet why British always use feettttt???? And they got their own units for everything it’s driving me crazy

Time: 11:09 am (it’s now 12:22 when I finish. I went to deal with some problems of my math grade and it turned out they misput it. (I got 49/60 and they just put 49/100. Dude you scared me

Birthday: nah I’m not gonna tell ya :p (between 24/Oct-22/Nov cuz I just said I’m scorpio I’m really nice I know :)

Favourite bands: ahhhhhh this is hard I basically just listen to the music and care nothing bout the singer/band 😂 right if I have to, Panic! At The Disco and COUNTERFEIT.

Favourite solo artist: nope

Song stuck in my head: hmmmmm Youngblood-5SOS

It’s not a new song and I actually never listened to the whole song (but I always knew the song cuz it was POPulAR) until few days ago and it stuck in my head now (that was why I didn’t listened to it cuz I knew this would happen)

Last movie: 刻在你心底的名字 (Your Name Engraved Herein)

This is a Taiwanese movie and it’s available on Netflix :) it’s about the love story of two high school boys. The background was when Taiwan just abolished the Martial Law but even though everything should be free, the thoughts in peoples head didn’t change much.

It’s a, well, not bad movie? I cried like...idk the whole time when I watched it (idk why but I cry easily when watching lgbt+ movies) but it still got the problem that all the Taiwanese movies has, but it’s not bad. And the theme song is also very beautiful. I don’t actually listen to songs in Chinese but I do like this one

Last show: Avatar: the last airbender (it’s like the 6th time I watch it probably 😂 its childhood memory 🥺

When did I create this blog: idk......but very long ago I would say. But I didn’t use it until very recently

What do I post: I feel like I can conclude them in one word: rubbish (including but not limited: incorrect wolfstar quotes/ wolfstar short scenes which just randomly pop up in my head/trash talks.....

Last thing I googled: “why drop the b” (I just knew about this yesterday and I was shaking while reading things about it (it gave me yet another reason to hate Donald trump

Other blogs: no

Do I get asks: once, yes that’s the answer, ONCE (I cherish it bae

Following: 44

Followers: 13 （ohh my fav number I just realise

Average hours of sleep: it depends, depends on whether my sleep disorder bitch decides to spare me that night or not. The most would be around 8-9, the least....there’s no limit of least honey

Lucky number: 13, I just like it cuz everyone hates it 😂

Instruments: you mean play? I play piano, guitar, ukelele and there are few instruments I can play a little bit I can’t think of any now

And I have weird obsession with violin but I can’t play it 🥺

What am I wearing: sport pants and tank top and my fav hoodie

Dream job: hmmmmm something related to medical research i don’t really know actually

Dream trip: anywhere, I love travel but I don’t really care much about where I go

Favourite food: chocolate, milk tea and eggs

Nationality: Taiwanese 🇹🇼

Favourite song: Just The Way You Are-Bruno Mars

Last book I read: I’ll Give You The Sun (I’ve read this like a thousand times

Top 3 fictional universes I’d like to live in:

Harry Potter (if I’m not muggle 😂) oh god this is hard——hmmmmm Hex Hall anddddddd Thrones of Glass (I want magic so bad

Tagging: no tagging bae do it if you want to😉

#permanganateion #tag game #I probably talk too much #but I had fun

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