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smuttyaf · 6 months

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SouthSide Serpent

Word Count: 4.8k

Rating: R

features; childhood friends to lovers, loverboy ashton, literally ashton has been pining for y/n, & sum good old smut :)

a/n: idek what to say but hi! i’ve been in retirement for like 4 years and rediscovered this account. i got nostalgic & decided… shit why not write again?

please cut me sum slack tho! i wrote this on my notes app & it’s been years since i’ve written so i would love to hear feedback!

& yes i am hella descriptive and like to build suspense! i can’t help it >.<

also! y/n is heavily based on serena from mtv downtown ( i love her ) & this picture of ashton ( xx )

The crisp October breeze blew through your hair as the dull taste of your cigarette burns on your tongue; your forefinger and middle finger clenching the nicotine filled paper and pressing it against your lips, drawing in the vapour.

Your head nods along to the music playing before you just two doors down on the opposite side of your street. There was Ashton and his band, either playing covers of their current favourite songs, oldies, or new ones that they’ve all come together and created.

The usual guitar flow and drum beat of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasted through the speakers in the garage as the sound of Luke’s voice sang along on top of the tune.

You hum along to the lyrics as you glared in the direction, your lips peeling away from the filter and letting the smoke settle in your lungs before releasing it. The four boys were all dressed in their usual attire: white shirt, black trousers, beat up old chunky Doc Martins, and their signature SouthSide Serpents leather jackets.

As the wind picks up again you let your free hand tear away from your windowsill and tug the flying strays of your hair in front of your face behind your ear, the chipped black polish on your almond nails coming into view as you remind yourself you needed to get them done.

The bridge of the song is now blaring down the street, causing you to raise your cigarette back to your lips and think to yourself, what a coincidence this song is playing; the lyrics, the time frame, and the memories that all come flowing back as you hear the familiar melody.

It was 2009 and Ashton had invited you over during Christmas break to play Garage Band since Santa gifted it to him because that was the only thing he asked for on his wish list. You were both 8, banging on the drums and singing songs that you both were too young to know or remember from when your parents would play them on the drive home from school. But, for some reason this is the song that stuck with you both the most. Maybe it was the easy lyrics or the amazing beat but from then on it had you hooked to this alternative sound.

Now fast forward to a year ago, your now ex boyfriend Xavier was laying on your bed, finger pads heavy weight on your skin as he drew sloppy hearts on your hip. The wire of the headphones tangled between your shoulder and his wrist as you both listened to his playlist. The familiar intro notes to the song beginning to ring throughout the buds and the tug of your maroon lined lips turn into a smile.

“Already like the song?” He asked, brown eyes rested on top of dark circles scattered with freckles as he smirked down at you.

“I love it.” You sheepishly said.

The wind knocks you back into reality as it pushes through your window again, only making you remember how much you loved October; the weather changing, leaves blooming, smell of the rain just before it hit the concrete, the sound of the leaves dragging along the pavement, and the endless horror movie marathons that would run on AMC.

The orange, brown, and green leaves spin in the breeze and rustle along the branches as the sun stood brightly among the houses along the horizon. From your view on the windowsill you can see houses upon houses before you see the local water tower and old plazas that scream they need new merchant signs and fresh cement.

Your eyes flick to the lonesome string popping out of your black long sleeve before the sound of your phone’s text tone goes off, your eyes darting to the message running across the screen.

Stop watching me

Ashton’s text read, making you roll your eyes before placing them on the dark hair boy who had a goofy grin on his face from your view, his drum sticks were stuffed in one had and the other held his lit up phone.

With a smile on yours, you let the hand that rested in the crook of your neck tear away from the warm flesh and your middle finger stand in the air as a response.

Clothes were thrown in every direction of your room as you let your eyes drag along your frame in the mirror, your loose knitted black sweater hung off one of your shoulders as low waisted charcoal jogging pants rested on your hips. Your hair was in its loose waves as your curtain bangs swept against your temples, your fingers curling into themselves in frustration as you tried to not stress over how you look.

You didn’t want to over enhance your appearance to see Xavier since he wanted to meet up to get “closure” -even though he was the one who called it off despite your many pleas- but you wanted to make him feel bad for even deciding to drop you.

A frustrated sigh left your wine stained lips before turning around and sticking your feet into your ruined Converse. The low muffled sound of Xavier’s Prelude is heard out your window and you feel your heart drop.

You never understood why you always felt this way about him and why you couldn’t just get over this stupid boy who likes to break up with you every other month, a new reason every single time. The constant tears, text threads, and blocking to unblocking seemed to never get exhausting to you because you were always back in the same place, wondering if you overdressed to see your ex for closure.

The chime of Xavier’s specific text tone rings through your room and you already know what it says, so without checking you twisted your foot into your shoe to fit perfectly before you reach over and grasp your phone in your hand and tug your way to the window sill. Fingers pressing the frame up and letting the fall air sweep into your room before crouching down and fitting yourself through the frame and safely scale down the roof, onto the sturdy vine wall filled with dead clematis that prickled on your palms the way down before your feet landed on the short cut grass.

As you turned away from the wall and begin tugging your feet towards the black coupe, your eyes catch on the tall frame standing on their front step as an amber light glows slightly illuminating his face. You already know this is Ashton, so with a slight smile you let your index finger rest against your coated lips, a gesture to him to be quiet.

The only response he gives is his head nodding off to the side with smoke trailing out of his mouth.

The smile quickly falls as your fingers clench the car door handle and tug it open, the smell of him crashing down on you as you sit in the familiar leather, the hum of the engine vibrating under you as the car peels off.

The tinge of tequila burned on your buds as you felt the room spinning, the sound of chatter and shouts are heard from below you as the bass of Destroy Lonely’s song can be heard in the room you barged into when you gave up on waiting for Tabitha; who said she wouldn’t be long with the curly haired new kid in her history class.

Red solo cup was loosely clenched in your right hand as left was lazily running through your hair at random moments as you laid against the cottage floral bed sheets.

Here you were, back in the same spot you always found yourself in: drunk, heartbroken, and thinking about a boy who doesn’t even care about you. The constant routine of wanting him, then wanting to be far away but craving him every other second burned into your heart. The comfort and familiarity of him that you missed always overlooked every excuse he gave you whenever he broke things off.

Last month he said he needed time to himself, this month he told you that he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted; frankly he lost feelings for you, at least that was what he says now. Those words kept on replaying in your mind as if that was your favourite song. The way he sounded emotionless yet unsure that, that was what he really wanted.

And just with those thoughts, tears were flowing down your temples. Eyes blurring as the voice replayed in your head, the memory of him sitting beside you and saying that, to then recollect memories of how sweet and endearing the boy you loved in the beginning grew cold to your touch and looked into your hopeful eyes with detached ones.

The popcorn ceiling was fuzzy in your sight as the tears spill over your waterline and beads down the sides of your face. You already knew your cheeks were heated up, the liner and eyeshadow that was occupying your bottom lashes was smudged and probably slipping away with the liquid as a sniffle wrinkled through your nose.

God you hated this; the empty feeling of missing someone who you know you shouldn’t want but yet crave so badly. Why him? Why you?

As you were deep in thought you hear the rustle of the door knob before it turns and the music that pours from outside reaches into the empty depths of the room, the sound of footsteps halting and a sharp intake of breath being heard, but you don’t dare look away at the ceiling. Frankly, you could care less about who sees you crying your eyes out on this outdated duvet with ruined make up.

“Fuck my bad!… Wait Y/N?” The recognizable voice of your childhood friend is heard before the door is closing shut.

The weight of him sinks next to you on the bed as you let your eyes close and the final stream of tears leave your eyes.

“I look desperate don’t I.” You state, voice raspy from the strain in your throat as the usual feeling of a ball is formed.

“I think you look sad,” He points out, making you snort as the hand that was lazily playing in your hair tears away and feels the sheet below you.

“No shit,” You mumble before letting your eyes peel open.

“You and Xavier broke up again?” Ashton questions, the sound of his zippers clashing from his jacket as he shuffles around.

You only hum in response before you let both of your arms sit you up on the bed, your back standing straight as your hands cradle the solo cup. Your eyes stare down at your ruined pantyhose beneath your mini lace black skirt before they flicker to look at the hazel boy.

Eyes connecting with yours, you hear his breath hitch as he draws in your appearance. Cheeks with a glow of cherry red sweeping the bones under your eyes that are damp with black eyeshadow, your eyes were still puffy and red rimmed as they batted slowly up at him.

“He doesn’t know what he wants,” You let out, your eyes rolling before letting your plum coloured lips take a sip of the warm mixture of Pepsi and tequila.

“Oh?” He says in confusion, bushy eyebrows coming together trying to figure out how that could be since he saw you two together three nights ago.

“I’m so sick of being with these screwed up guys all the time,” You state, hand tearing away from the cup to dig your nails into the rips of your stockings.

“Really?”

“I have such crummy luck or taste? What is it with girls like me? All a guy has to say is, he can’t express his feelings or he listens to Deftones and it’s like my head tips right over and my brain start to slip out of my ear.”

Ashton lets out laugh, the beer bottle he’s holding by the neck resting on his knee as he stares down at you. “So which one is Xavier?”

“Both,” You scoff while sticking out your tongue in disgust.

“You know… if you wanted to, I’m sure you could have a different great guy to go out with every night,” Ashton assures, a smirk tugging on your lips as you decide to ignore the glint of promise in his eyes.

“No way, I’ve always been a mess. Remember Cleo?” Your second boyfriend that seemed to be stuck on your hip but ironically found someway to cheat on you every weekend yet you still dumbly went back to him every. single. time.

The feeling of your sheer button up rubs against your arm as you let your hand fall against your hip and feel your black crop top tight to your skin.

“Maybe you just need to talk to someone who isn’t your usual type,” Ashton points out. Your head nods a few beats as your thick wedged heeled boots run over the wooden flooring.

“Maybe I’ll be luckier if I tried dating someone nice for a change,” Voice hopeful as your eyes dart away from the bubbly dark liquid into Ashton’s brown hues.

“Nice guys,” Ashton says with a smile, both of his hands tearing away from his knees as if to gesture to himself in this equation.

A laugh escapes your lips before your eyes run over Ashton’s frame from head to toe.

“What are you getting at Irwin?” You say with a pointed brow, playing stupid to the implication.

“Oh nothing..” He sings while tearing his eyes from yours, toothy smile still spread on his lips before he takes a swing of his beer.

You shake your head with annoyance before your hazy eyes look down at your lap, your hands resting on the cup and drumming a random tune.

“Honestly Y/N… I think you’re a really great girl and…. I just think maybe…” His words a scrambled mess and trailing off. You smile to yourself before turning to look back at him.

“Mm?” You question, the fifteen percent liquor coursing through your bloodstream and giving you confidence as you lean into this chest, eyes never tearing away from his. Because if Ashton was going to give you hopeful eyes and stuttering speeches you might as well put the ‘nice guy’ to the test and see if he was really about what he said.

That only made his lips break into a smirk, his tongue sneakily gladding along his bottom lip to wet it before looking into you daringly.

That only made you squish your plucked eyebrows together in question. How did the stuttering boy from just a view seconds ago all of a sudden turn cocky and confident? How many drinks did he have? Or was it the weed that clung to his jacket that gave him the boost.

“I think you should give me a chance,” He nips back, and before you can even respond to him, you watch his neck crane down and press his lips against yours.

The crisp taste of his beer stung your lips as they opened and immediately danced along with his tongue. White liquor and brown meeting together to taste each other and leave an acquired flavour in your mouths.

You hummed along to the feeling of his tongue circling against yours before peeling away and molding your lips to sink against each other. Your heart was beating through your chest, nails now digging into your plastic cup and head ducked back as you continue to press your mouth against his.

The feeling of his cold hand pressing against your neck caused you to shudder and tear away from his lips for a second, your eyes peeling open as they look in front of you. Black hair loosely falling on his forehead, the smell of his husky cologne clogging your senses, and the feeling of his fingers now dancing along the back of your neck.

“What are we doing Ash?” You breathe against his lips.

“Something that I’ve always wanted to do,” He says, making your heart launch. You bite down on your bruised lip and tear your eyes away from his, your stomach twist as you try and gain some self control as you almost fling yourself on top of him.

Something that he always wanted to do? You never really found yourself desirable to the point we’re men would see you in that type of light? But maybe what Ash said was just a simple lie, just so he can get what he wants and frankly you don’t even care. You’ve heard lies your whole entire life when it came to boys and this wasn’t any different, maybe you should just let your mind shut off from your stupid ex and just be in the moment for once.

So with that final thought, not having a care in the world, you drop the red cup in your hand and let your lips launch back onto his. Ashton follows your movements and the sound of the nearly empty beer bottle drops onto the hard wood, his right hand now resting along your neck as you both kiss each other.

Warm breaths, beating hearts and the sound of music is the only thing heard in the room as you lick into each others mouths. Soon you feel the weight of Ashton nudging you to lay back on the bed as he lies on top, you feel the cold zippers from his jacket press against your skin and all you can do is moan.

The feeling of his left hand tears away from the hairs on the nape of your neck and dance down your collar bone before letting it cup your breast in his hand, kneading the soft tissue which only makes another moan slip through you.

He pulls away from your lips and begins to suck and press kisses along your pulse, your hands that lie by your side now running up the sleeves of his jacket and into his hair.

A whimper spills out as you feel his hand tug your tank down and free your naked breast, he engulfs it in his cold palm making you let a shaky breath escape before you’re curling your fingers in his hair, the feeling of him twisting your nipple makes you bite down on your bottom lip. The pleasurable pain you feel running up your spine making your shoulders slightly buck off the bed.

“Hmm…” Ashton hums in your neck before tearing away, his eyes once such a light brown and green hue, now a chestnut and forest green colour filled with lust.

Your fingers tug away from his hair as he now descends down your body, his warm lips pressing kisses to your exposed skin as you let your hands tear your blouse and tank off. Your eyes never leaving his as he watches you undress. His lips now press against your pieced belly button as his fingers tear away from your chest and roughly takes your skirt by the band and peels it down your hips, your stockings following soon after.

Not wasting a moment he lets his mouth press against you covered core, lips pressing small kisses against your heat making you quietly moan. You wanted so desperately to tug Ashton into you and make him start devouring you right there but instead you let your hands trail back into his hair and play around with his locks.

Small kisses soon turn into open mouth licks, his wet muscle running up and down your clothed slit that it had your head digging back into the sheets, your legs spreading wider and whimpers endlessly trailing out.

“Ash.. please..” The words slip out so quiet that you assume he didn’t hear from the pulsing music below you, but instead your met with the feeling of his finger pulling your panties to the side and his tongue finally meeting you were you desired.

It circles around your clit gently before you feel his lips suck it into his mouth, a moan drawls from your throat due to the sensation. Soon enough, he’s letting his mouth discover the way you taste which only elects a moan from him. His tongue now dipping in between your two lips and curling around your insides.

“Oh my,” You moan as your fingers dig into his hair, eyes closing shut as you begin to slowly move your hips to the movement of his tongue.

The feeling of his right hand breaks away from your thigh and flows to your hips, his nails leaving small indents as you feel his other hand move away from your panty and rub against your clit.

The feeling of him humming against you sends a vibrating pleasure down your back as he continues to lick you, this only made your toes curl and your hands to fall out of his hair and onto his leather shoulders.

“Fuck,” You moan, your hands tugging him gently away from you as you feel your climax about to overcome your nerves.

And just as you feel it on the tip of your toes, the mouth between your legs pulls away beginning to press wet kisses up your thigh, his hand that once laid against your heat now meeting with the other at your hips.

A groan leaves you as your eyes tear open and look down at him. He mischievously looks up at you, his kisses now run up your stomach once again to lead to your neck.

“Upset?” He teases, only making you shudder at the rasp in his voice.

“I want you Ash,” You say breathlessly, turning your head to knock his out the way and look him in the eyes. “Please,” You utter, fingers now leaving his shoulders and brushing against his rip cage covered by his white tee.

Without any hesitation, Ashton is pulling away from your embrace and leaning back. He shrugs off his jacket, tugs his shirt over his head, his fingers going to the back of his baggy jeans to pull out his wallet to dig through before you see a gold package flash. If your cheeks could burn any brighter they differently would.

The mixture of his clothes and yours are strung through out the room, both of your shoes kicked to the bottom of the bed as he now shuffles his way back up to his original position.

Without question your hand meets the band of his boxers as you begin to inch them down his waist, wanting to return the favour.

“I think that can wait love, I rather be in you right now,” He breathes against your neck, only making your heart stutter. A sheepish smile tugs at your lips as you feel him twist around and lay on his side, his hands laying on your hips, turning you into the same position.

Your head rested on his arm as your back laid against his chest, hips aligned with each other as the feeling of his smell overcomes you. His knees prop up your legs as you hear the tearing of the condom package.

Deciding to distract yourself you let your eyes fall looking at Ashton. His black hair a tossed mess from your fingers, hazel eyes drawn to wear you both meet as he begins to run his member against your heat.

A whimper leaves your lips as you close your eyes when you feel him push inside, his hand now propping up your thigh as he eases into you.

He nudges your head forward and begins sucking kisses down the expanse of your neck, the feeling of his heart beating against your back and the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne was filling your nose.

“Feels so good,” He mumbles against your skin, his arm that rested under your head turning slightly as he runs his hand against your wrist and takes your fingers into his, lacing them together as you continue to feel him stretch you out.

You never expected Ashton to have a thick piece but you also didn’t expect to be in this exact position right now, literally. Your childhood friend having his way with you while you were both drunk off each other and the alcohol in your systems.

His hips meet your backside before drawing back and pushing back in, your walls expanding with each thrust as you feel him begin a good pace. Moans begin to fall from your mouth, your eyes fluttering open every few seconds as your skin burns from the bruises soon to appear on your pulse from the black haired man beside you, skin still stuck to his lips.

“You’re moans are so pretty,” He breathes against you, his hand that was holding up your thigh runs up your hips to your chest, letting your leg fall as he takes one of your breasts and squeezes it gently.

All you can do is hum at his words because you’re too overstimulated to speak. The feeling of his thickness drawing in and out of you so heavily has you nodding off at the sensation, his fingers intertwined with yours beings to squeeze them together as the hand that was on your breast meets with his head at your neck.

“You like me fucking you,” He says into your ear as his hand squeezes your throat gently.

You nod your head as you feel your eyes slip close, and you were completely wrecked. He was so dirty yet gentle with you, peppering you with kisses yet digging into you so devilishly that it had your mind distraught.

“You like the way I feel inside you,” He continues, his hand growing more tight around your throat.

“Ash…” You say breathlessly, as your hand that rested against the bed sheets rises up and places it against the one making you breathless but encouraging your climax.

“Mm I like the way you feel around me,” He eggs on, and that makes you cry out, your back pushing pack and meeting his hips.

The feeling of your stomach twitching and legs quivering to close makes your head tip back even more against Ashton as you feel your orgasm on the brink.

That has him taking his hand away from your throat and slips it to lift your thigh back up as he continues to thrust into you, his lips press more kisses against your neck.

Your toes curl as the knot in your stomach expands and releases, the satisfying sensation washing over you as you let a deep breath break through your lips with a moan.

“Fuck,” Ashton hisses as he feels you twitch around him, the contractions from your high throwing him into his; his hips stutter before rocking back into you slowly, teeth gently digging into your skin, his breath being blown over the expanse of it.

The thickness of him slips out which causes your eyes to open, his hand dropping your thigh to wrap around your hips as his head buries into your neck.

The room is quiet for a moment as the only thing that can be heard is your hearts calming down and the chatter from down below.

“I would give you more kisses but I’ve made a mess on your neck,” His voice vibrates against you, that only makes you let out a broken laugh.

“I don’t even wanna know what it looks like,” You reply, your hand that rested on the duvet linking with his that rest along your stomach.

This felt nice, the amazing sex and cuddling session after. The room just being quiet and the only thing that can be heard is your breaths and beating hearts. This was so spontaneous that you still can’t even wrap your mind around what happened.

“How would you feel about doing this more often?” Ashton says after a few minutes, his chest moving as he pulls his head away from your neck to lie back against the pillows.

Having casual sex with him? You ponder on the idea. It was definitely one of the best you have ever had, he felt amazing and checked off every box when it came to how to please you. You couldn’t even lie and say that you didn’t find Ash attractive, you are also now officially single, free to due what we you wanted, so fuck it.

“Like… Friends with benefits?” You say, your thumb running against his hand still linked with yours by your head.

“Yeah, friends with benefits,” He confirms.

You let your head swish from side to side as you feel the burning sensation of his love bites strain against your neck as you let out a sarcastic hum to yourself as if you’re thinking it over.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

60 notes · View notes

freshrained · 1 year

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dating calum during the spring and all of the trees and flowers are blooming and maybe yall go to see the cherry blossom festivals, or hes just randomly picking flowers from the side of the road for you, and so many mornings making breakfast together and spending the morning outside

56 notes · View notes

talkfastromance4 · 11 months

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Emotions--Ashton Irwin oneshot

very self-indulgent fic and this song always makes me feel some type of way when I'm feeling all the feelings.

warnings: drug use, drug mention, gummies, weed and smoking mention, lots of feelings, underlying anger

Masterlist

word count: 2k

Feedback is always welcome and reblogs help spread my work!

Enjoy!

*****

She doesn’t like feeling this way, like a ticking time bomb waiting to implode but when it’s one thing after another after another after another–she feels the breakdown quaking in her bones. It could be something small that finally sets her off or something very grand that will make the destruction worse.

All she wants is someone to know when she’s in this danger zone and help her out, her defense mechanism will be to deny any help but that extra push will do it. Force her to open up. Pop the cork and let her spill everything she’s been feeling–or not feeling–out in the open.

She hates feeling broken and not knowing why then on the other hand she hates knowing why she feels broken but doesn’t know exactly how to fix it. She sits in her emotions trying to focus on one but they’re on a constant carousel that just keeps spinning and shows no sign of stopping. It makes her dizzy, all of these emotions, but no one seems to notice.

Except Ashton. He notices everything.

So that’s why on Friday when she walks in the room he can tell she’s on edge, she’s buzzing with it, her eyes are wide and bright with the edge she’s trying so hard not to fall from. She masks it well with a smile as she says hello to others. It’s damn near camouflage from the jokes she tells and invisible in her laugh.

But not to him.

So when he finally heads her way by the drink table, he ducks down by her ear to say,

“I know you’re feeling some type of way, so when you’re ready, come find me, yeah?”

She turns to look up at him, eyes wide and mouth open in shock.

“What? How do you know–?”

“I can tell,” he takes her drink bottle and twists it open, the fizz hissing on them both. “You don’t have to go through it alone. Just find me.”

He hands her her drink then walks away, his boots clicking on the concrete and she stares after him. What did he mean he could tell? No one could tell. She’s perfected this mask for so long there’s no way someone would be able to see past it.

It’s Sunday when they’re together again and now she has a vacant look in her eyes. Something else has triggered her and it makes Ashton nervous to see her so visibly shook by it. She’s not paying attention to those around her, staring off into space and it isn’t until he gets closer that he sees how blown her pupils are.

Not being shy of smoking weed himself, he has no judgment, they’ve even gotten high a few times together but this time is different. Usually she’s more giggly and sleepy when she smokes but this…this is making her all wrong.

He sees it before it’s about to happen but he’s too late to offer any aid when she bumps into the table and knocks over the punch bowl. The red liquid splashes onto her legs and shoes turning her white shoes pink. There’s a stunned silence and she just stares down at the chaos she caused before running away and slamming right into Ashton.

“It’s okay, come with me,” he says in her hair. His arms are tight around her as he lifts her effortlessly off the ground and carries her inside.

The chatter starts up again outside and she’s shaking like a leaf against him, her fingers pinching his biceps through his shirt. They’re in the kitchen, far enough away from the crowd outside and he sets her down on the counter, she curves into herself with her hands hiding herself away from Ashton’s eyes.

“y/n, look at me,” he murmurs trying to pry her hands from her face. She shakes her head vehemently and he can see some punch is on her fingers. “y/n, it’s okay it was an accident. Let me take your shoes off so you’re not so sticky.”

He bends down to peel off her sneakers then sees her toes are painted a pretty pink. He unravels the roll of paper towel, runs a portion of it under the sink then starts to clean up her legs. The punch splattered up her shins and knees, even a few splotches on her thighs.

“I ruined everything,” she whispers.

“You didn’t ruin a thing,” he shakes his head then glances at her sneakers, “well, except your sneakers.”

That earns a small chuckle from her, the sound is so sweet and broken Ashton turns to the noise but she’s still hidden behind her hands. He uses the opposite end of the towel clump to dry her off.

“How much did you smoke before you got here?” he asks.

“How do you know?”

“Your eyes.”

“I didn’t smoke it…”

“A gummy?” he inquires nonchalantly. He doesn’t want you to think he’s judging because that might make you paranoid and scared.

“Yeah. A full one. I don’t know the dosage.”

“Was it from Gage?” he asks and she nods peeking through his fingers. “Then it was a lot. And you drove here?”

“I’m so stupid–”

“Stop it,” he tosses the towels in the garbage then leans on the counter over her. He tries to move her hands away and this time she lets him. Her mascara is smudged, the whites of her eyes are bloodshot. “I’ll drive you home, where are your keys?”

“My bag is outside,” she sniffs.

“I’ll be right back. Stay put,” he squeezes her knee then heads back outside. He’s swarmed by people asking if she’s okay and he simply says he’s taking her home. When he comes back inside she’s slumped against the cabinets, her cheeks framed by her hands as she stares unblinkingly at the floor.

“My lips feel fuzzy,” she mumbles.

“I bet they do. Ready to go? Can you carry your shoes?”

She hums a yes and hops down the counter but stumbles into Ashton. He steadies her, slings her bag over his shoulder and guides her out the front door. He helps her in the passenger side, making sure she’s buckled.

Ashton keeps glancing her direction on the drive, he can see how sleepy she’s becoming even though her eyes are darting at the palm trees on the side of the road. She’s gnawing on her lip in a worrisome way.

“Are you hungry at all?” he asks.

“I want ice cream with sprinkles. And cheese fries.”

“Okay,” he smiles then turns into a fast food drive-thru.

When they get their food she tries to open up the cheese cup.

“No, no, no, you might spill and I know you don’t want melted cheese in your car.”

“But Ash!” she whines and pulls out two pieces of fries. She pops them in her mouth.

“Don’t eat them all or you’ll be very sad when we get home,” he warns. She snuck one more fry before rolling up the bag and sitting nicely against her seat.

They end up watching a movie while they eat their fries and shakes. She does a little happy dance each time she has a fry dipped in cheese.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks as the credits roll and she’s somehow found her way into his lap. He’s been petting her hair, letting his fingers thread through the strands for the last twenty-five minutes, her eyes becoming heavier.

“Kinda broken.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not yet. I need a little time yet, I think,” she sighs.

“Okay.”

“Time…time…can we watch Back to the Future?”

She was out like a light in the first ten minutes.

On Tuesday he texted her asking if she had any plans and she said no so he swung by to pick her up. She badgered him the whole time wondering where they were going but he wouldn’t budge. She was still confused when they arrived at the building then she heard glass shattering down one of the halls.

“Welcome to the Breaking Place,” a bubbly teen with bright pink hair said. “Are we here for a breakup, loss of job?”

“We’re here for feeling all the feelings and not knowing what to do with them,” Ashton says.

“Perfect. What’s your weapon of choice? Sledgehammer, bat, or fire poker?”

“I’ll do a sledgehammer, what about you, y/n?” Ashton asks and you’re staring at the girl in surprise.

“You brought me to a break room?” she whispers.

“Yeah. You’re feeling broken so why not break other stuff? Let all the emotions out. Choose your weapon, babe.”

She thinks it over for a second.

“Give me a bat.”

While they got dressed in the suits, pulled on gloves and goggles they listened to the teen explain the rules. Protective gear needs to be on at all times unless weapons of destruction are out of the hands. You can smash plates on the floor but not the wall. You can scream and shout and yell and cry as loud as you want.

Upon entering the room there were piles of plates on a worn table, multiple TVs, windows leaning against other tables, small lockers that have some dents in them and a glass cabinet.

“Have fun!” the teen sang and shut the door.

“What do you want to hit first?” Ashton asks, adjusting his goggles.

“The plates first, so I can get a feel of it.”

“Go for it.”

He watches her walk hesitantly towards the plates, her gloved finger circles the circumference before picking it up. It has a cheap design around the edges and then she slams it to the ground. It shatters and she smiles. She does another one then another one until she takes one in each hand and destroys them in tandem. When all the plates are broken she moves to one of the TVs.

She lifts the bat and swings hard right in the center. It concaves and broken pieces fall to the ground. Ashton watches her whack and smack at it some more, each thrust more powerful. Soon she’s screaming as she smashes and bats at the wood. Ashton watches as she destroys everything in the room, using all her might, all her strength until she becomes visibly drained.

Ashton drops his hammer the same time you let out a loud wail, the bat falling from her grip and rolling on the floor. The glass cracks under his feet as he goes to her and she slams into his chest. The sobs finally come forward and he holds her tightly.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs then pulls the hood down and removes her goggles. His thumbs rub at her tears. “I’ve always got you, okay? I know you hurt sometimes and feel like you have no one but you’ve always got me.”

You nod meekly in his hold.

“There’s so much going on and so much to remember…I don’t know what to do first.”

“Let’s write it all down and go through it together.”

“Some of it is from work–”

“I’ll help as much as I can. You aren’t alone. The guys will help out, too. You have no idea how many people love you, y/n.”

“My problems are so miniscule to theirs–”

“That’s your brain tricking you,” he shakes his head.

“It’s hard to ask for help.”

“I know, and I know it’s because of your dad. He made you feel like a burden and got angry when you asked for help but that’s never going to be an issue with me. You call me whenever, wherever, no matter the time.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” she shakes her head.

“What if we come up with a safe word? When you’re feeling too close to the edge, text it and I’ll come running.”

“Could it be a song?”

“Whatever you want,” he nods.

“Can it be your song? Emotions? It says exactly what I feel.”

“It’s perfect.”

“Thanks for everything, Ash.”

“Anytime,” he smiles and kisses her forehead.

____________________

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#ashton irwin writing #ashton irwin fluff #ashton fluff #ashton irwin 5sos #5sos writing #ashton fic #ashton irwin oneshot #ashton irwin fic

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let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol · 1 year

Text

12 Days of Holidays: Day 7

Calum HoodXFemale Reader

Warnings: pure fluff, winter weather, dating apps, crowds of people, tinge of angst

The music was loud and yet you couldn’t focus on the group that was performing on stage. Your mind drifting towards Calum and the weekend you had spent with him and his friends. It wasn’t necessarily a real kiss you had given Calum, but it had been enough for the two of you to act a bit awkward around one another. His messages became less frequent after the ski trip and you found yourself missing the conversations you two had. Granted holidays were approaching fast, and he was probably busy with family stuff, but you haven’t even received a random meme or “hey” from him. Maybe you were wrong to think there was something more between the two of you.

“I say you should just get back on the dating apps,” your best friend, Mika, shouted over the music. She slid a mug of spiked apple cider over to you, and bumped your shoulder with hers.

“Yeah you’re right,” you sighed, already pulling out your phone to dust off your old dating profile. Your gaze scanned over the room as you deleted a few pictures to replace them with newer ones. “This group isn't so bad,” you mumbled. Mika nodded in agreement, glancing over your shoulder to peek at the pictures you had chosen.

You found yourselves at the holiday festival a lot in the past few days. There were things to do and each night was something new. Tonight the city had decided to go all out with food vendors, art walks, and a stage for people to show off. Local groups from all over were performing and even some of the people weren’t musical talents. There were around twenty rounded tables surrounding the area of the stage and you and your friends had claimed one smack dab in the middle. You were happy to finally have a calmed down day. Between ice skating, holiday parties, and skiing, you were starting to get drained with this holiday season. You were starting to warm up to this time of year and it was all because of Calum, now you weren’t so sure.

“What about him?” you questioned, showing your phone screen to the few of your friends that were listening in on the conversation.

“Oh definitely a fuckboy. Look at that pose!” one of your friends laughed. You swiped left, muttering comments under your breath. After a few minutes everyone else got bored with your task, their attention turning towards the stage again. You could see a few of the men on the app in the crowd around you. The idea of meeting any of them around now would just be mortifying. Your eyes widened in surprise when you came across something you weren’t expecting: Calum’s own dating profile. An uneasy feeling washed over you and you clicked on his profile out of curiosity. You knew why you were back on the dating app, but for some reason seeing Calum’s own profile made you upset. You two were single, and you weren’t together so you knew you shouldn’t feel this way, but yet you did.

“Fuck it,” you muttered to yourself, swiping right on his profile. You liked Calum and since you two hadn’t been talking for the last few days there was no harm in you wanting to match. And you did. I had only taken a minute for you to get a notification on it and your heart began to hammer in your chest when you received a text message from Calum.

Are my eyes deceiving me or did we just match on a dating app?

Another message came through and it was the emoji eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh at his message. Taking a second to collect your thoughts before responding back.

Actually my finger slipped, I meant to swipe left. . .

You placed your phone in your pocket, choosing to play a bit with Calum. You weren’t going to allow him to get off that easily. He was the one to have left you on read to begin with. “I’m going to roam the food trucks, you want to come with?” Mika asked, getting bored with the magic act that was currently going on.

“Food sounds great,” you replied, feeling a multitude of buzzes in your pocket.

Ha ha, you’re so funny. . .I’m glad we matched though

I wasn’t sure how to ask the last time we hung out, but since we matched it gives me the chance. Do you want to go on a date?

Shit, did I misread our encounters?

Y/N?

You shook your head in amusement. Calum’s cool was cracking and you could tell from the messages. Normally you were quick with replying to messages, so you knew he might’ve been on edge when just two minutes went by from the first text he had sent.

Sorry, I’m out at some festival. So our matching wasn’t just coincidence?

Course not-so what do you say?

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static-radio-ao3 · 3 months

Text

@jegulus-microfic // february 6 // prompt: murder // words: 1,172 // cw: implied/referenced sexual content // part 2 + part 3

“You’re so fucking infuriating!” James calls out as Regulus makes his way out of the bathroom. He runs a frustrated hand through is hair and tries to slam the door behind him, but James catches it before he can.

“Oh, I’m infuriating?” Regulus asks over his shoulder. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

“Baby, we both know you do enough looking for the both of us.” Regulus doesn’t need to look at James now to know he has a cocky smirk tugging at his lips, voice smug and pleased.

“Don’t call me baby. And don’t think I like what I see when I look at you.” Regulus rounds another corner, moving further away from the party as he heads toward the stairs. He hates that he still know the house like the back of his hand, even though it’s been months since he’s been here.

He knew he shouldn’t have come but Sirius had asked and Regulus bends easy if his brother is the one pushing.

“Ah, you wound me.” James comes to a stop right in front of him, a hand pressed to his chest in mock hurt. “Besides, I find that a little hard to believe when I only had to smile for you to drop to your knees in the bathroom.”

“A moment of weakness, clearly,” Regulus says as he pushes past James and makes his way up the staircase. He’s not sure where he’s trying to go except away from James. James and his pretty smile and messy hair and hazy eyes that track his movements with a hunger.

And it had been a moment of weakness. A party and one drink too many and James’ eyes lingering on the strip of skin between the hem of Regulus’ shirt and his belt. At the ink peeking out above his jeans, a pattern James was all too familiar with. A brush of fingers against his lower back that had Regulus shivering even in the sultry heat of the room. All it took was a tilt of his head and a smile and Regulus was following James down the hall.

James snorts, short and derivative. “Clearly.”

It does nothing to make him less attractive.

“Like I said, infuriating!” Regulus yells as he stomps up the stairs. He’s not even aware that he is walking toward James’ bedroom. “You and your— your—”

“Me and my?”

Regulus comes to a stop in front of James’ bedroom door. He turns to face him and ignores the thrill in his stomach when he realizes how close they’re standing. He has to tilt his face up just the tiniest bit to make eye contact. Tries to force himself to do it, but his eyes drop down to James’ lips unintentionally.

“You and your Jamesness!”

“Good one,” James huffs. He takes another half-step closer, crowding Regulus against the door. “You really got me there.”

“Oh, I am going to murder you,” Regulus hisses between his teeth. He tries to take another step back, but the door handle digs into his lower back. Cornered. James' hand comes up to rest beside his head and Regulus has nowhere to go when James leans down to murmur into his ear.

“Please make it romantic, at least.” James' breath rustles his curls and Regulus fights not to shiver. There is a hint of beer on his breath and usually, Regulus hates it. But he has learned that he can’t quite manage to hate anything that comes from James Potter.

Instead of doing something embarrassing like leaning up and crushing their mouths together, he grits his teeth and jabs a finger into James’ chest. Desperate to put some distance between them but even more desperate to keep him close.

“I am going to throttle you—” he grounds out, jabbing James’ chest again for emphasis.

“I always did love your hands around my throat.”

“—and I am going to draw and quarter you—” Jab.

“Yeah? You gonna tie me up real nice?”

“—and I am going to set your remains on fucking fire.” Jab.

“No need, you get me hot all on your own.”

James’ free hand comes up to cover Regulus’ before he has the chance to withdraw. He presses it flat against his chest before lifting his hand to Regulus’ face.

“I swear, James Potter, if you put that hand on me, I'm going to get violent."

But the threat is empty. They always are. Because James’ knuckles caress Regulus’ cheek and it takes all his strength to not lean into the touch. James knows it too.

"Oh love,” he murmurs, voice low and a little rough. Something Regulus recognizes but refuses to name. “You usually like it when I put my hands on you.”

And at this point, all bets are off because James is looking at him like he knows.

Like he knows that Regulus spends long nights staring at his ceiling because sleep doesn’t come easy if he’s not in James’ arms. Like he knows that Regulus still buys the coffee James prefers because the smell lingers in the apartment and makes it feel a little less like a haunted house. Like he knows that Regulus hasn’t been on a single date in the months since their break up. Like he knows that Regulus never finished that show they started watching together. Like he knows that regret coats the back of Regulus' throat like bile every time he talks about it.

Like he knows that Regulus is still in love.

Like maybe he feels the same way.

Regulus shifts the hand that’s still resting on James’ chest to the back of his neck and yanks him down, pressing their lips together in a kiss. It’s wet and messy and desperate from the beginning, a moan spilling between when James realizes he can still taste himself on Regulus’ tongue.

James moves impossibly closer, both hands moving to cup Regulus’ face. Regulus wishes they were closer still, wishes he could stay like this forever, because he thinks it’s where he belongs; with James. Always with James.

Lips slick and eyes lidded when they pull apart to breathe, Regulus faintly registers that party is still going on downstairs. Music playing in the distance, a cheer erupting at an unknown achievement, but neither of them feel inclined to return. Regulus tilts his head back for better access when James starts trailing wet a path down the column of his throat, humming at the taste.

“This is probably a bad idea,” Regulus manages between ragged breaths. The last thing he wants to do is stop, but plausible deniability and all that.

“I think you’re a little too faded to drive,” James says, punched out and breathless, the words pressed into the line of Regulus’ jaw as he works his way back up to his mouth. Regulus’ hands clench in James’ hair, earning him a hiss. “Maybe you should stay the night.”

Regulus doesn’t get the chance to agree, too busy stumbling through the now-open door all the way into James’ bed.

#messy exes jegulus! everybody cheer!#don't ask me why regulus decided to argue with james AFTER giving him head #they really said messy exes so it's none of my business actually #partially brought to you by the fact that i looped babylon by 5sos for an hour #regulus black #james potter #regulus x james #james x regulus #starchaser #jegulus #jegulus microfic #mil's microfics #mil's writing #my writing

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bloodhoundluke · 6 months

Text

drunken smiles & fishnet stockings

pairing: luke hemmings x fem! reader

description: it's halloween and luke is hosting a party! luke and y/n know each other, but little do they know that this night would change something pivotal between the duo.

warnings: 🔞 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. sex talk, smut, protected p in v, alcohol consumption, cursing, fluff, an embarrassing amount of pet names. (i don't think there’s anything else??).

word count: 5,8k-ish. a/n: hey there friends! 🌟 i wanted to publish this fic before publishing requested & other fics, i'm working on all of them so pls be patient! and this is my first fic which contains smut so there's a huge chance this sucks (i'm actually nervous to release this pls help me i'm scared lol) 😬 also, i have a lot of deadlines atm so pls bare with me, i am working on the requests whenever i can. thank you for supporting my blog, i adore you all so much 🤍 happy late halloween to everyone who celebrated 🎃

dividers by @silkholland.

"Y/N!", you heard your best friend yell from the other side of your studio apartment. You had been getting ready for nearly two hours, and to one one’s surprise, you and your best friend were already late. Calum had been texting you for a while now, telling you two to hurry up.

"What?"

"We are so late! We need to get going! Oh my god, this is so embarrassing", your best friend sighed and now stood next to you. You were still fixing your hair in front of a full body mirror.

"Okay okay, stop fussing. Do I look okay?", you asked them and placed the curling iron on top of your drawer, shutting it off. You reached for the hairspray sitting on the drawer, and looked over at your friend who looked absolutely stunning.

"Yes, you look amazing Y/N. If I wasn't your friend I'd totally hook up with you", your friend cheered and nudged your shoulder gently.

"Gosh, thanks. I'd totally hook up with you too", you giggled and took a glimpse of their police costume. You ruffled your hair slightly and placed some hairspray on your locks to hold them in place.

You locked your hands with your friend’s, and got into the cab that was waiting outside.

You had been invited to your friend Luke's Halloween party. You had met him a few years prior through your mutual friend Calum, who was also his bandmate and one of his best friends. Calum and you had known for four years or so, and you considered him to be one of your closest friends. You considered yourself lucky to have a friend like him, since you could tell him anything and you knew he wouldn’t judge you.

You looked through the cab window with the city lights passing by. You wondered who’d be at the party. Luke must have sent invitations for hundreds of people, since he was a pretty popular guy. You found the guy and his shy-ish exterior rather charming, but only in a platonic way. Luke and you weren’t extremely close, but you exchanged text messages every now and then.

You arrived at the party and looked at the sea of people, who were mingling with each other in their Halloween costumes. Luke’s house was decorated in decorative spider web, pumpkins, and some skeleton figures. Purple lightning illuminated the whole house. You liked the decorations, it wasn’t too much or too little.

You and your best friend decided to go and say hello to Calum and his group of people. Calum hugged you tightly and commented on how he hadn’t seen you in ages. His girlfriend, Brandy, did the same. They were wearing a matching set of vampire costumes. You were happy for Calum, he had finally found a girl who loved him just the way he was.

You walked over to Ashton, Michael, Crystal and Luke. Ashton was dressed in a cowboy costume, which made you smile a bit since he practically dressed like one in real life. He brought you into a bear hug and you couldn't help but smile. Ashton always made you feel so welcomed. Michael and Crystal goofed around in their Anime costumes. You catched up with them and then finally noticed something familiar about Luke’s costume. It was a Harry Potter costume.

No fucking way.

"Cool costume", Luke commented as he saw you eyeing his Gryffindor badge, and the lightning bolt on his forehead. His hair had grown out a bit, but it didn't look bad. Actually, it looked anything else than bad. That man could definitely pull off any hairstyle, you were sure of it.

"Thanks! You too. Suits you", you stated and straightened your own Gryffindor badge on your costume. Dressing as Ginny Weasley, or what you called it low-budget Ginny since you had no cape, was a decision you had made a few days ago. You were supposed to dress as a Pumpkin, but you managed to break the costume and didn’t have the time to fix it. So the second best option was Ginny.

You sighed and looked around the room, thinking of grabbing a drink.

“Oh my gosh! We need to take a picture of you two”, your best friend suddenly exclaimed and you giggled, nervousness plastered all across your face. You saw them giving you the look, and knew instantly what it meant. They believed in fate, what you on the other hand called nonsense. You were sure Luke and you dressing in similar costumes was some sort of sign of “fate” to your best friend. Luke and you could never happen.

“Really?”, you giggled as you felt a knot in your stomach. Luke was sometimes difficult to read, and you weren’t entirely sure if he would conform to the idea.

“Yes!”, your best friend commented, and ‘totally’ and ‘absolutely’ from Michael, Crystal, Calum, Brandy and Ashton followed after. You and Luke both looked at each of them, then finally looked at each other. Your friends would never let it go, so you’d better just get it out of the way.

“Okay”, you accepted your defeat. “You okay with that?”, you confirmed Luke. “Yeah, sure, why not?”, he took a sip of his beer and placed the bottle on the counter, giving you a small smile.

You, Luke and your best friend found a spot in Luke’s house and you settled in with Luke against the white wall, as your best friend was holding their phone towards you two. Luke placed his other hand on your lower back, and you placed yours on his stomach.

“This okay?”, you looked up to him and shuffled a little closer to the man. You saw him eyeing your legs, which were covered in fishnet stockings. His oceanic blue eyes met yours, and you did your best not to drown in them. You hadn’t even chugged down one drink, and you were already a fool for some man. And worst of all, it was your friend. You blamed this growing lust for him on the Halloween spirit. Surely someone had once said that Halloween brings out feelings you don’t usually feel.

“Uh..yeah, sure”, he cleared his throat and chuckled. “You ready?”, he offered you a little smile.

“S-sure”, you returned the smile and you both stared directly at the camera.

“And say….cheese!”, your best friend cheered.

You took an awkward glimpse in Luke’s direction and both of you bursted out laughing. The photos shown afterwards were pretty cute, you had to admit that. And Luke’s hand on your lower back left you yearning for more of his touch.

Damn, you really needed a drink. And to forget Luke fucking Hemmings' hands.

—❦

After taking the picture of you and Luke, you had been mingling with people, eating, and drinking a few tequila sunrises. You had just settled into Luke’s living room to play Spin the Bottle, the classic party game. The group playing consisted of you, your best friend, Luke, Ashton, Calum, Brandy, Michael and Crystal. To be honest you were zoned most of the time, since you found the game a bit ridiculous.

Then you heard your name as the bottle pointed towards you. In your alcohol-infused state, you picked a dare.

“I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in the room”, Ashton dared. You heard a few encouraging comments coming from your friends, and Brandy gave you a wide grin. “Ash? Really?”, you squeaked, and gave him a deadly glare. “Well, didn’t you pick a dare, pumpkin?”, he asked and chuckled. Suddenly the rush of confidence you had seemed to fade out, and you mentally cursed the drummer.

“Okay”, you sighed, and looked across the room. The choice was obvious, but you didn’t want to give it away. So you pretended to consider your options for a while.

You got up from the floor, and got on your knees in front of Luke. You caught him looking at you, and he looked away. But then you leant to kiss him, and he kissed you back. The tingling feeling of him kissing you back flustered you. You shouldn’t like the feeling of his lips pressed against yours this much, but you did. His lips brushed over yours delicately, and your heart was pumping. It made no sense, but you loved every second of it. His beard stubble tickled you, but you didn't care. Not everyday you got the chance to kiss Luke fucking Hemmings, who was practically the hottest guy you had ever seen.

You backed away from the kiss first, then did Luke.

“Cool”, he let out a nervous chuckle and you did the same. Cool…really? You didn’t know if you should have been offended or relieved that the awkwardness of it was finally over.

“That was hot”, your best friend whispered into your ear as you went back to your place on the floor. “He’s hot”, you whispered back. The taste of pure tequila lingered on your lips.

“And Ashton’s so hot too”, they whispered. “Go get him, Y/B/F/N”, you advised, and winked at them.

The game continued and the next rounds were spent by hearing how Ashton’s favorite sex position was Basset Hound Doggy and Brandy’s biggest turn off in a relationship was controlling behavior. You also saw your best friend give a lap dance to the person who they fancied the most in the room, Ashton. They both seemed to enjoy it. Michael and Crystal had also shared a steamy make out session, to which you all cheered.

It was Luke’s turn next.

“Hmmm…okay. What is your biggest turn on?” Michael asked Luke and took a sip of his Corona, placing the bottle on the floor afterwards. Luke’s answer interested you, you had to admit.

“Ohh…got many. But neck kisses are a big one”, Luke slyly answered and gulped down his tequila. “Ohhh, that’s a good one”, Ashton agreed and you saw him looking in your best friend’s direction. You rolled your eyes slightly, and giggled to yourself. They would totally share the bed tonight.

Luke spun the bottle, which landed on Calum. He chose the truth. Luke didn’t come up with anything, so your best friend chose the question instead.

“Which two people in this group should hook up?”, your best friend asked Calum.

Oh my god, were they serious? You totally knew where they were getting at. But hopefully Calum didn’t understand that, or anyone else for that matter. You were safe, Calum would definitely pick Michael and Crystal. Or Ashton and your best friend.

“Well, the obvious choice would be Brandy and me. Or Michael and Crystal, but…I feel I want to stir the pot, I guess.. So… I think Luke and Y/N… I mean we saw the kiss Luke and Y/N had earlier”, Calum smirked devilishly at Luke, and then at you. The group around you chuckled, and seemed to agree with Calum as they were nodding their heads. But not you nor Luke.

“Okayyyy, so maybe Cal should stop drinking for tonight”, you chuckled, and Calum gave you a humorous smile, which screamed a polite fuck you, in return. You saw Luke looking down at his drink on the floor with a drunken smile on his face. He fiddled with his rings on his left hand. He looked up and directly at you, boring his eyes into yours for a milli-second. You wondered what was going through his head, since yours was filled with so many questions.

Why didn’t he say anything? Why was he so quiet? Did he find your kiss icky? Did he find you… repulsive? Why was he acting so strange?

—❦

The party was over and people had left Luke’s apartment, which was now littered with red cups, beer bottles and pizza boxes. You had been settling into a spare bedroom in Luke’s house. Ashton, Calum, Brandy, Michael, Crystal and your best friend were staying over as well.

You drank water alone in Luke’s kitchen, since everyone had already gone to sleep. The now quiet atmosphere made you feel at peace, and you smiled to yourself.

You enjoyed the brief moment of silence until a head of blonde messy curls appeared from the doorway.

Luke walked into the kitchen and gave you a tired little smile. He opened the refrigerator door and took a large water bottle, pouring it into a glass he retrieved from the cabinet. He placed the bottle back to the refrigerator and closed the refrigerator door as you were still drinking your own water.

You noticed how he had gotten rid of the jacket and the tie, leaving him with a slightly unbuttoned white collar shirt and dark gray pants. He had also wiped the lightning bolt off his forehead.

Standing here with Luke, in this terrifyingly awkward yet weirdly comforting silence, made you question your lust towards the man. Maybe it was just the alcohol running through your veins. That might just be the only logical explanation.

“Let me guess, you don’t want to get a hangover?”, you chose to break the silence.

“Hell no”, he sipped water, “did you have fun tonight?”. The blonde locked his eyes with yours and you looked away, your eyes now fixating on your ring-covered fingers.

You cleared your throat, and answered, “Yep, had a blast. And you?”.

“Yeah”, he smiled and you went closer to him, as you were about to place the cup in the sink. Your hands brushed against his as he was just about to do the same. You both placed your cups in the sink, and your eyes met his. You both stood in your places quietly, and for some weird reason, you couldn't help but look at his parted lips. And you noticed him doing the same, then his eyes studying yours.

Your heart started to race a million miles an hour. You weren’t nervous around the people you fancied, but Luke was a different story. He was the epitome of gorgeous, so you couldn’t really blame yourself, could you?

He turned his body towards yours, and you took a step closer to him. You didn’t know what you were doing. Hell, you didn’t know what he was doing either.

Luke let out a low chuckle and you couldn’t help but bite your lower lip.

Yes, even a fool could tell you wanted to kiss him. But you weren’t sure if you should. And you weren’t sure if the man in front of you noticed that too.

Thankfully Luke had noticed your indecisiveness as he leant in for a kiss. You had imagined this after the kiss during the game, but now that it was actually happening, you couldn’t believe it. This was rougher than the last time. More passionate. More demanding. He moved even closer to you, placing his hands on the sides of your face. You felt his cold rings against your bare skin, but it didn’t matter. Not when he touched you like this, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks and his tongue battling for dominance over yours.

He backed away from you, licking his lips.

“Fuck… I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry”, he apologized and rested his body against the kitchen counter.

“What do you mean?”, you frowned your eyebrows. Was he being serious right now?

“It’d mess things up…if we go further. Shit, this on its own could make everything awkward...”

“What if…what if we just don’t think about the consequences? You want me, and I obviously want you”, you suggested. You didn’t want to think, not now. You didn’t want your growing lust for Luke to go to waste. It would be a shame if it did.

“Are you..sure?”, he scratched the back of his head.

“Yes”

“Okay”, he let out a low chuckle and took a step closer to you, studying your lips in the meantime.

“Luke?”, you looked into his eyes as you spoke.

“Yeah?”, he bored his blue eyes into yours, and placed his hands on your waist, tugging you closer to him.

“Just fuckin’ kiss me already”

“Thought you’d never ask”, he whispered, his voice perfectly husky and seducing. His plump lips found their place on yours and you swore you had never kissed someone like him before. His lips moved swiftly, hungrily against yours.

You tugged his shirt, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible.

“Luke?”, you asked, out of breath.

“Yeah?”, he wiped his mouth with his hand, and you couldn’t help but stare at the man’s mouth. The mouth that you wanted to do incredible things to you.

“What are we doing?”.

“What do you want to do princess?”, his voice was heavy, and hoarse. And so god-damn sexy. He moved a few stray hairs out of your face.

“Fuck…”, you cursed.

“...me?”, Luke smirked.

You were totally gone off the rails, so whipped for him, there was no going back now.

“Actually, yeah”, you decided to toss logic aside, and once again, Luke placed his lips hungrily on yours. You kissed him back passionately and he grabbed your ass under your skirt. You wrapped your hands around his neck, and felt the need to do such things to Luke you could never say out loud.

“Jump”, he groaned between the rough yet lustful kisses and you jumped into his lap. He grabbed you by your outer thighs and placed you on the counter. He left wet kisses on your neck, leaving you wondering why you hadn’t done this sooner with him. Maybe it was the fact you had known this man for years, and he had never shown you any sign of interest. But it didn’t matter now, he clearly wanted you.

“Is this okay?”, he reassured you.

“You’re perfect”, you sighed and stared at the beautiful man in front of you. Yes, you had always thought Luke was hot, but this was something else. You loved how soft and assertive he was at the same time. This was dangerous, anyone could see you two. But you liked it this way. You didn’t want to think, you just wanted him. You craved him. You needed him.

His lips found their way back to yours and you bit his lower lip by accident. You felt Luke giggling against your lips, and you couldn’t help but do the same.

“Can I take this off?”, he asked between the kisses as he was holding the fabric on your shirt. “Please”. And he does, leaving your chest area covered by your black bra. You started to unbutton his shirt and when you were done, he threw the white collar shirt on the floor next to yours.

Luke traveled kisses from the side of your face to your neck, then to your chest. “Fuck, you’re so hot”, he remarked and you chuckled slightly as a response. Luke kissed you, and you kissed him, sliding your tongue into his mouth. You made out for a while until he decided to move the strap of your bra over your shoulder. He placed a few kisses on your shoulder, and you didn’t understand how he did it all this, being this fucking good at everything, but you enjoyed the show.

“Need to get my fishnets off”, you whimpered under his touch.

He ripped open your fishnets using his hands, and you swore to yourself you hadn’t seen anything as hot as that. You lifted your body using your hands on the counter so he could take the remains of the stockings off. And when he was done, he nibbled your ear and his heavy breathing made you squirm.

“Finger me?”, you asked as his lustful ocean eyes stared into yours. “It’d be my pleasure”, he smirked, pushing your lingerie to the side and pushing two fingers into you with the perfect amount of pressure.

“Fuck, you are so wet…so good, Y/N”, he remarked huskily and moved his fingers inside you in swift motion. You widened your legs so he’d get a better entrance. “Mmmmh”, you whimpered, your head tilted back and eyes closed. Luke trailed down kisses from your neck to your chest. You opened your eyes and his lips crashed into yours.

“Need you to fuck me, Luke”, you whispered into his mouth. “Believe me, I will. Just wanna make you cum first”, he whispered and kissed you. And in under a minute, you were a whimpering mess under his touch, him giving you a smug look. You swore you just saw the stars, no one had ever known your body like him. And it didn’t make any sense, this was the first time being with him. But it didn’t have to make sense, you were now with him and god, he made you feel incredibly good.

His fingers left your entrance and his lustful dark eyes met yours again. He brought his fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, still holding the eye contact.

”Baby, you taste so good... Fuckin’ incredible”, he mumbled.

”Fuck…”, you whimpered as you were still coming off your high and watching Luke taste you did not help to urge to feel him inside of you. Neither did the fact that you noticed his boner through his dark dress pants. What was this man doing to you?

“Wanna go to my bedroom?”, he suggested, and placed a strand of your hair behind your ear, giving you a small lingering kiss on your collarbone.

“Thought you’d never ask”.

You both grabbed your clothes from the floor and you went upstairs. In the upstairs hallway, Luke couldn’t resist but pin you against the wall, kissing your face like he had never kissed before. You grabbed his erected dick under his dress pants and stroked it slightly above the material, making Luke whimper. “Y/N…”, he started yet couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Mmmh? Tell me?”, you asked as you started to unbuckle his belt.

“Mmmmh, don’t tease me, Y/N”

“That’s bold of you since you started it...”, you pointed out.

“Mmmhhh…fuck, that’s true. Let’s go before I fuck you against this wall and everyone will hear it”, he gave you a quick peck on your lips, leaving you wanting for more. You didn't know Luke could be this smug, but it definitely turned you on.

Luke led you to his bedroom. You placed yourself on his California King, and looked around. You had never been in Luke’s bedroom. A few paintings hung on the dark -painted walls, a vintage record player rested on the dressing table and the TV across the bed covered most of the wall space.

Luke retrieved a condom from his wallet, which was resting on his night-stand and pulled down both his pants and boxers, revealing his hardened dick. In the meanwhile you got rid of your skirt, and underwear. He placed the condom on and you couldn't help but admire the sight in front of you. Luke tossed both his pants and boxers off to the floor. He placed his body on top of you, kissing you and making the kiss deeper as you slid your tongue into his mouth. Your tongues danced together and your anticipation for the following grew, even though you had gone through your high already. But maybe, just maybe, he could make you come twice. His lips parted from yours, and he looked into your eyes, his fingers traveling along your lips.

“You’re so damn beautiful”.

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful too”, you answered, your need for him growing.

“You ready?”. You nodded and he slipped into you slowly as you kissed his neck. You detached your lips from his neck and tugged his hair, your hands exploring the softness of his curls. A few moans escaped from both of your mouths. How could he make moaning sound so damn good?

“Please keep on going”.

"Was planning on doing so, princess".

He thrusted into you, and your walls clenched against him. You saw him biting his lip, his eyes wide open, clearly enjoying the view of you. “Fuck, you are perfect. So tight around me.... So good”, he praised.

This would probably never happen again, so you decided to make the most of it.

You met his lips in a kiss and you slipped your tongue into his mouth, his own meeting with yours. His thrusts became quicker and you both moaned of pleasure. Your hands had moved to his upper back, your nails scratching the warm skin.

And when you both came undone, you cleaned yourselves up and laid in his bed. You both stared at the bedroom ceiling. Luke had asked you to stay, which had surprised you.

“I held myself back when you kissed me in the game”, the blonde confessed. You looked at Luke, whose left arm was leaning against the back of his head. Only now you noticed his bird tattoo on his bicep. You couldn’t see it properly in the dim lightning, but you were guessing it was a hummingbird. To be honest, there probably were a lot of things you didn’t know about him.

“Did you?”, you asked in a rather suggestive voice, and turned your body towards him under the covers.

“Well, yeah, have you seen yourself? Fuckin’ beautiful. I wanted to rip those fishnets off you the moment I saw you in them”, he chuckled and his eyes met yours.

You couldn’t help but feel flustered. Luke Hemmings, of all the people in the world, thought you were…beautiful?

“In that case, I’m happy I decided to wear them”, you giggled.

“I can buy you a new pair of fishnets”, he offered.

“You really don’t need to do that”.

“If that gives me an excuse to see you, then I’d like to”, you saw an endearing smile appear on his face.

“What if you break them too?”, you chuckled, not that you wouldn’t mind him doing that.

“Then I’d have another excuse to see you again”, he reasoned, and shuffled closer to you. You didn’t know if it was still the alcohol clouding your judgement, but you liked him. Maybe a bit more than you wanted to.

“Seems like you want it to be a pattern”, you suggested.

“Well, if it makes you scream like earlier…”, he smirked and took you in his arms, your face squished against his warm and toned chest. “Luke!”, you screamed into his chest.

“Hush hush now, everyone is asleep”, he kissed the top of your head, and chuckled.

“Sorry”, you giggled and wrapped your hand around his waist, snuggling closer to him. Your face rested against his chest, and he stroked your hair gently.

"Good night beautiful", he reached for your lips and planted a small kiss on them, then turning off the bedside lamp. "Good night, Luke".

—❦

“Quit starin’ at me princess”, Luke spoke with his eyes closed as you lied with him in his enormous California King bed.

“I can’t, you’re way too pretty”, you played with his curls, both of your naked bodies under the same duvet.

You had been awake for a while now, mainly going over the memories of last night. Luke’s lips pressed against yours, his hands grabbing the sides of your body, him whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he was inside of you. You had contemplated leaving Luke’s house, but you didn’t want to do it to Luke. And the change in Luke’s behavior towards you made you question his motives. He even let you sleep in his bed, and didn’t want you to leave to your room. Did he actually like your company? Or was he just lonely?

You removed your hand from his set of curls, and wondered what it must be like to be that beautiful. It was unfair how good-looking he was.

“Talk to me about pretty, huh?”, he opened up his eyes and scanned your face. “Hush”, you gave him a deadly glare and he grinned back at you.

“Tell me when did you get so freaking hot?”, you asked him.

“Haven’t I always been?”, he winked and readjusted the pillows on the bed, his face and body now towards yours.

“Yeah, but I mean…like this hot. Ridiculously hot. So hot I want to jump into your lap”

“Now you’re just makin’ a fool out of me”

“Am not! I promise”, you exclaimed. “I swear when I saw you last night, something happened inside of me. This lust, I guess…I don’t know what the hell it was”

“Well, thank you. Good to hear I don’t look like an absolute knobhead”, he rolled his eyes, and letting out a chuckle.

“And he’s funny too”, you giggled.

“C’mere”, he motioned you into his embrace and you laid there for a moment in silence, taking in the moment. This silence felt comfortable in some odd way. His fingers brushed gently against yours, moving to cup your face, his mouth telling you compliments you never expected to come from his mouth. You’re gorgeous. Your eyes are pretty as hell. I like cuddling you. You smiled back at him, not really knowing what to answer.

“So this wasn’t a one time thing?”, you decided to break the newly founded silence.

“Nope. If that’s okay with you?”, Luke searched for your approval from your softened eyes, and you gave him that. “More than okay”, you smiled. You looked for something in his eyes. Maybe a hidden truth. You were his friend, but you didn’t know him truly. You did not really have an idea who he was deep in his core. But your instinct told you to find out.

"Good. Did you actually like my Halloween costume or were you just being polite?", Luke hummed, and placed his head into the crook of your neck.

"I thought you looked hot. And so dreamy... So yes Luke, I liked it", you beamed, and pecked his lips. "A lot", you added and caressed his pretty curly hair.

"You were a pretty dreamy Ginny yourself", he placed his mouth on your neck, sucking on the skin slightly, then placing a few sloppy kisses on your jawline. His breath started to become noticeably heavier, and you giggled, "Luke Hemmings, you are one hell of a guy".

After a while of lounging around with Luke, you both decided to do your morning rituals and throw some clothes on. Yeah, you might have hooked up with him again, only in the shower this time, and you felt as if you couldn't keep your hands off the blonde.

You and Luke had decided to go downstairs and cook something for breakfast, and now you waited for him to come out of the bathroom. Luke opened up the bathroom door attached to his bedroom, and you studied his features.

You couldn’t help but smile as he was humming some song you had never even heard of. He had a habit of doing that, making you smile. Or at least that was what he had been doing the past hours. And last night, obviously. He was dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants, which made you drool over him, and a black AC/DC t-shirt. He had also offered you an oversized band t-shirt to wear since your own shirt was a bit uncomfortable to wear. So now you were standing in front of Luke, wearing his oversized t-shirt and barely visible black skirt. You would have never guessed that something like this could actually happen.

“Ready?”, he asked, and you nodded. You were waiting for him to open the door, until he decided to turn around and he grabbed your face into his hands. He pressed a delicate and endearing kiss on your lips.

“Actually, now we’re ready”, he chuckled and finally opened the door. “You dork”, you giggled, the taste of his toothpaste lingering on your lips.

“No one should be up, it’s barely 9am”, Luke commented as you were walking down the stairs. “Yeah, there’s not a chance anyone’s up yet”, you agreed with him and you both walked into the kitchen, only to discover every single person that had stayed at Luke's sitting by the kitchen table.

“Good morning, Luke and Y/N”, Crystal greeted you two, to which both you and Luke responded.

Luke offered you a glass of water with a side of lemon and ice, after he had convinced you of how the drink makes a great hangover cure. You and Luke found yourself seats by the kitchen table, next to each other since they were the only ones not taken.

"Luke? Y/N?" Ashton opened his mouth.

“We fuckin’ heard you last night”, Ashton remarked as both you and Luke were caught up in your own worlds. And then you made sense of what Ashton had just said.

...Oh my god, had they really heard all…that?

Your best friend was sitting next to Ashton, and they were giggling with Ashton’s arm resting behind their chair.

You hadn’t talked this through with Luke. Shit, shit, shit. You hadn’t really even thought about if anyone had heard you last night.

“Oh you are speechless now, is that it?” Ashton giggled, making your friend, Michael, Crystal, Calum and Brandy laugh too.

“We really hope you Luke cleaned up the kitchen afterwards”, Crystal commented. “Just saying”, she added and gave a quick peck to Michael. Michael chuckled, and took turns looking at you, and then Luke.

“I did, don’t you worry about it Crys”, Luke scratched the back of his head, obviously feeling awkward as hell. You cleared your throat, wishing to be anywhere else than being questioned about your little rendezvous with Luke last night.

“And you used a condom?” Ashton asked, making Luke groan. “Of course, you fuckin’ moron”.

“Okaaaay, should we change the subject? Us having sex isn’t the most exciting topic”, you chuckled nervously, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Even the handsome blonde beside you.

“It definitely did sound exciting last night…All the screams and objects fallin’ to the floor, all Y/N’s whimpers and Luke’s -”, Ashton remarked, but was soon interrupted by an annoyed Luke.

“Okay okay, we get it. We were a bit loud. But let’s move on, please”, Luke groaned.

"I want to hear more details though... Were the kitchen and Luke's bedroom the only places you had sex in?", your best friend took apart in the conversation, grinning from ear to ear. Y/B/F/N had to be kidding. And were the walls of Luke's house made of paper? "Yes", you answered in turn, trying to sound as convincing as you could. They didn't need to know about the shower session an hour ago.

”It was no wonder you ended up sleeping together, I mean you were drooling over each other the whole night”, Michael continued, and chuckled.

”You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me right now”, Luke cursed, obviously wanting the conversation topic to change sooner than later.

“Calm down, Hemmings”, Calum chuckled, earning a side eye from you and a deadly glare from Luke. “Okay, okay, I won’t say anythin’ next time”, Calum put his hands up in defense and grinned awkwardly.

You looked at Luke only to discover him looking at you, a small smile creeping upon his pretty pink lips. Next time.

a/n: hey please do share your thoughts on the gifs, did they disturb your reading experience? i’d love to know, ty! 🤍

#luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings x you #5sos fluff #5sos smut #5sos imagine #5sos fanfic #my writing #5sos x reader #5sos x y/n

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bartxnhood · 1 year

Text

wanna be yours | l.h

luke hemmings x fem!reader

summary: luke had his eyes on you from the moment you met him so, it killed him when you couldn’t take the hint that he was in love with you.

warnings: two oblivious people in love, my bad writing, mentions of a lot of drinking

a/n: someone asked for jealous and protective luke ??? say no more. feedback is appreciated ! ALSO didn’t exactly turn out how i originally thought but it’s a good start !! enjoy !!

requests open

not proofread

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there is a scene in a movie where the lead character and the love interest lock eyes.

they lose sight of everything around them, leaving just each other in focus. you never liked seeing those kinds of movies, thought it was cliche, and never believed in love at first sight. if you're being honest, it was overdone, unrealistic, and plain annoying.

but, it was fate that it would fall on you.

you didn't enjoy parties because there were too many people there, you didn't like drinking, and people were making out all over the place, some of whom were newlyweds and others who were having affairs. you hated being messy, and gatherings were messy. also, you made an effort to limit the number of your friends because you found it uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many people.

but ashton, your best friend, pleaded with you to attend this particular gathering. hours would pass, and just when you thought he had finished pleading, he would resume. so you gave in.

that’s how you found yourself at ashton's house, sitting in your car, staring at your phone, and observing the passing of time. It had been over fifteen minutes since you had first decided whether or not to do this. hearing the faint music emanating from the house, your chest felt constricted. you pushed open the car door and walked over to the home. attempting to summon the guts to enter by standing outside the front door.

when the door opened, there was a strong odor of alcohol, as well as loud music and conversation. while searching among the throng of individuals swaying their bodies against one another to find your friend, you regretted your decision to agree. when you eventually located the man after searching the kitchen, the other person standing by his side immediately caught your eye.

everything around you vanished in an instant, leaving you only able to concentrate on the man with whom you had just locked eyes. wonderfully curled hair, flawless skin, eyes the color of the sea, and just enough of his white silk shirt's buttons were undone to make you flustered. he was stunning. all of a sudden, the room contained only you and him. there was only you and him; nothing else or anyone else was important.

but you were pulled from that thought As ashton grabbed your wrist and said, "cmon!", you were jolted out of your trance-like state. ”i gotta introduce you to everyone!" the australian cheered and dragged you into the kitchen where everyone was standing; all of a sudden, you were the center of attention. you waved to the small group of people while saying, "guys, this is my amazing friend, y/n," feeling a little uncomfortable at the unexpected focus. “y/n, this is calum, michael, crystal, sierra, and luke,” ashton said as he made an introduction.

the small group of individuals exchanged smiles, and you shook hands with each person before approaching luke with a gentle "hello."

wow.

your palm touched his, you prayed he wouldn't notice your flushed cheeks, and you both nodded. he was the most stunningly handsome person you had ever seen, by a long shot. ashton once again grabbed your arm away and dragged you out of the kitchen before you had a chance to continue admiring his attractiveness. while waving the group off, you glanced over your shoulder. You weren't angry with ashton since he knew you'd never tried something like this and that you were making a big step by doing so. he also needed a reason to prove to his buddies that you were real and an important part of his life.

at night's end, you were sitting in ashton's backyard, lounging around the pool, admiring the reflection as lights danced across the water of the pool. even though roughly half of the people left, music continued to play. people said he would always throw the nicest parties, and now you understood why. but you simply weren't made for this situation; you were too uncomfortable and worn out from engaging with everyone for so long. You simply wanted to return home, binge-watch your favorite movie in the coziness of your bed, and eat some frozen pizza.

the word "hey" surprised you and made you flinch just a little. your eyes landed on the person standing above you, holding one cup while concealing the other in his pocket. luke apologized for the quick response, "oh, sorry, i thought you heard me," but you just shook your head. you shrugged and turned to face the swimming pool, saying, "no, it's alright, was just thinking." there was a little period of silence since neither of you knew exactly what to say. you had just recently met. “do you want a drink?” he asked. “oh, no thanks,” you said as you once again looked up at him. “i'm not really a drinker.” the blonde let out a gentle laugh. "but you came a party?" while scratching your forehead, you chuckled alongside him. “well, ashton is a push-“ over. yeah. that he is," luke continued your sentence and you laughed. “i think i’m heading home now, im way too tired to stay much longer”. you got out of the lawn chair facing luke.

his mind began racings, he didn’t want the conversation to end just yet. he had to think of something so he could see you more. “do you need a ride?”

your hands were crossed, and your eyes darted back to his and then to the cup in his grasp. "thanks for the offer, but I just live ten minutes away," you said. he extended his hand to you after giving you a nod and pulling it from his pocket. “it was lovely meeting you, y/n,” “you too, luke”

you had no intention of seeing luke again after that. you had your friend group, ashton had his own, and you happened to be a part of both. you had no intention of ever returning to another party unless you absolutely had to be there; that atmosphere wasn't for you. it was too much for you, and you just wished ashton would be more considerate of your decision. you knew he wanted you around; you'd been best friends since high school, and it was difficult for you both to have separate lives.

but fate had something else in store for you.

it was subtle when you first became aware of his presence. you ran into him a few times in town, which wasn't unusual. but then he'd show up at your job, or he'd find his way into the same restaurant you were in. it was amusing at first because what are the chances you'd keep meeting like this?

so you confronted him one day. “you know, if you keep this up you’ll have to take me out for coffee” you started, putting down the record you pick up. this was one of the many times you had run into luke while running errands. this time, the both of you ended up in a local record store. you heard him chuckle softly before turning to you, “are you asking me out on a date?” he leans against the shelf raising his eyebrow. you shrug, “more like telling you to take me out” he nods, leaning in closer. “i see..then i guess i’ll see you tomorrow?”

you and luke are two opposites but somehow you two hit it off

he drinks while you don’t.

despite your differences, you detested parties, and luke's life was spent drinking; not you. you've never thought that opposites attract. yet it was odd because as time went on, you discovered that you were rather similar. you and luke had a lot in common, and you got along just well. it was never dull or tiring since the two of you could converse for as long as it took, even until the sun rose. you frequently found yourself stranded in ashton's or calum's backyard, relaxing on the chairs after talking until the wee hours of the morning like you were adolescents.

each time the two of you are in close contact, there is tension. You adored the quiet glances you two shared. It was much more enjoyable because it seemed as though the two of you were barred from being together.

It was never meant to go this far. You'd been hanging out with Luke for quite some time. you've been wanting to be with him every other day for at least a few months now, waiting for his texts or calls saying he wanted to hang out or if he found a new restaurant he thinks you'd like. or the way he'd subconsciously hold the small of you back while leading you through a crowded area, or how he'd always go out of his way to make sure you got home safely.

it was never supposed to escalate this quickly.

you found yourself wanting to hang out with him even more, wondering if Luke would be there when ashton asked you to hang out. You started thinking about him all the time.

that's when it started getting more complicated. you knew something between you changed after being with him so long. and although you knew how it changed you, you were too scared to jeopardize anything between you not when it was fresh.

truthfully, you just displayed to him, that you'd always be available. you could say no to anyone who had ever asked you out because of your newfound feelings for luke. but you couldn't tell him that, it was too soon. but even then, you couldn't get the sound of his laugh out of your mind, or the way your name rolled off his tongue like it was meant to be there. you couldn't stop picturing what it would be like to lay in his arms, limbs tangled together as he sang you the sweetest lullaby.

unknown to you, luke made an effort to avoid you in the beginning because he knew he couldn't control himself with you. no matter how hard he tried to hide himself from you or push you away, you always managed to find a way into his head like an addictive substance. as you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen, he wanted to shield you from all harm and evil in the world and would do whatever it took to ensure that everyone knew the two of you belonged together.

but, did you know that?

you began to watch him from then on, looking for clues that could point you in the right direction. you'd noticed him fiddling with his rings, then grazing over the leg of his jeans or joggers, slipping his hand between you on the couch. his hand would inch across the seat, pausing now and then. then he'd retreat without much thought, preferring to rest his hand on his thigh rather than bother with yours.

nothing would have made you happier than to come across his hand. any action would be preferable to simply waiting for him to take the initiative and pleading with your eyes as if it would help. you contemplated inviting him over, striking up a conversation, or even touching his hand. Instead, you remained silent despite your strong desire to speak but your inability to do so.

you have no idea how or why you began to feel more confident around luke; you were the shy and reserved friend before meeting him, but you changed completely after meeting him. and you knew people would judge you for it, saying things like, "oh, i can't believe you'd changed yourself for a guy!" however, this was not the case. he made you feel something that you couldn't put into words. maybe he inspired you to be someone you've never been before.

you were standing outside ashton's door, picking at your nails, debating whether this was a good idea. you were dressed differently than usual, wearing a tight dress with a large leather jacket over it to try to hide your body.

something like this was extremely unusual for you, and you may have been an idiot to dress like this for a man who probably only thought of you as a friend. but it had to be worth a shot, right?

you let yourself in, the music was blaring and the pungent smell of liquor was all too familiar to you. you pushed through the people and eventually got to ashton’s living room where everyone else was. they all cheered and greeted you.

ashton hugged you first and said a bunch of drunk incoherent words about how happy he was to see you. then you greeted luke with a warm while which he reciprocated. “happy birthday luke” you said, he nodded. “thank you, y/n”.

after the small reunion, the group dissolved. everyone was off doing their own thing. you found yourself standing outside, a cup in your hand filled with whatever you found. the night air was a bit chilly which caused you to curse at yourself mentally for wearing such a short dress.

“you look nice.” luke’s voice rang as he came up behind you. You looked over your shoulder and spotted him. “thanks.” you smiled, and he raised his eyebrow. “you dress up that pretty for me?” he was standing next to you now, his comment and proximity were enough to make you blush. “and what if i did?” you retorted. luke smirked, “i’d be thankful because you look so good in that dress.”

he leaned closer, keeping eye contact with you.

he was so close to you that your heart began to beat quickly. you were attempting to read him while his eyes were staring right through you. there are two possible outcomes here. one of two things will happen: either someone will interrupt you like in a cliché movie, or he has the ideal opportunity to kiss you right now.

he leans in even closer, saying, "i'd even say that you should start dressing like this too, it suits you." you felt the blood rush to your cheeks.

kiss me. please. just do it

you wanted him to make the first move because this moment had the chance to change everything. you didn't want to appear so desperate. luke must have noticed your begging expression because he started leaning in again, this time only a few centimeters from your lips.

oh, god. it’s happening. it’s happen-

“come on man, it's time for you to open your presents!" michael interrupted the situation by shouting from the kitchen. you sighed as you saw luke leave. you could almost sense the disappointment in his eyes as he turned to look at you to check if you were following him.

“okay, and it seems the last one is from….y/n!” michael and calum handed over the large box to luke.

luke unwrapped the box, displaying the guitar case as you watched. he looked perplexed as he tried to imagine what you may have given him. the one guitar he had been dreaming about was waiting for him when he opened the case. "y/n.." He takes the guitar in his hands and places it on his lap.

everyone who was gathered around him suddenly turned to look at you. he is the last one to do so.

"you bought this?" He asks, and you nod while beaming broadly. he had never looked so startled to you. how did you know, exactly? “how…how did you?” he trailed off.

"well, you talked about it for so long, and occasionally i caught you looking it up. so i thought, why not get it for you?“ you responded.

luke stood up and hurried to you after putting the red guitar back in its case. you were engulfed by his arms, spinning you. "im grateful. I have never gotten a present better than that. I promise i’ll treasure it” he smiles, “i know you will luke”.

and for the rest of the night, everything went great. until it didn’t.

"y/n," ashton said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"hm?" he had a mischievous smile on his face as you dropped your phone to your lap. "have you ever tried playing the drums?" "no?" you shook your head. It came out as a question as if you were asking yourself a question. "why?" he approached you and reached for your wrist. "you're about to!"

ashton was perched on the stool and sat you down on his lap, having handed you his drumsticks and demonstrated how to hold them properly as his hands caressed yours. he explained that he would only have you play a simple beat. he taught you the basics and then let you play a few beats on your own. you didn't notice how close ashton was, how his breath tickled your spine, or how delicately his hand held yours.

you two were laughing because you couldn't play because you had almost no rhythm. "this is exactly why you guys are musicians," you laughed, rising from ashton's lap and returning his sticks. "nah, practice enough and you'll get good enough to join the band," he winked.

luke watched the scene unfold in front of him, how close ashton was, the way he eyed you like you were some kind of prey. his hand was supporting his chin, his elbow was resting on the couch arm, and his jaw was locked. luke began tapping his finger impatiently against his cheek, were you so oblivious? everyone was making moves toward you, and you didn't even look at him? he pushed himself off the sofa and out of the room to get some fresh air. if he was in there any longer he would explode.

he hated the fact that, despite your lack of effort, you had him in your grasp. luke hated how near the guys were to you and how they treated you like they were hunting prey. how did you not notice how they eyed you? how the other boys treated you like some kind of object. especially ashton.

we’re you so oblivious to their advances? did you not see how luke wanted to rip you away from them and keep you all to himself?

did you even notice his attempts to try and win you?

He wanted the world to know how badly he wanted you, how you were his, and that despite his best efforts to deny it, he was falling in love with you. Luke had difficulty accepting it, but he would go to the ends of the earth for you.

“what was that about?” you ask, after watching luke exit the room. calum shrugged, “who knows. it’s luke” he didn’t look at you as he was nose deep in his phone. you looked around the room, everyone seemed not interested. “he probably left because ashton was feeling you up” someone added. you huffed, grabbed your jacket, and walked outside to the patio.

you saw his silhouette and walked up to him. “luke?” he didn’t respond and you walked closer. “lu?” you spoke the nickname you had given him. he finally turned back to look at you.

you saw that look in his eyes, the only look he had when looking at you. “luke, what’s going on? why’d you walk out like that? did i do something wrong?” his back was still turned to you, refusing to look at you. “you just don’t get it, do you?” he still wouldn’t face you. “get what, luke? the fact that you’re ignoring me in front of everyone and leaving me in the dark.” you were feeling frustrated, upset that he wouldn’t even look at you. “god, luke, just look at me!” you grabbed his arm, spinning him around so he’d have to look at you now.

“talk to me.” you pleaded. your eyes begging as you stared into his blue eyes. luke hated it, he hated how you had him in the palm of your hand ready to do anything for you if you’d just say the words. he detested that no matter how hard he tried, it would always be you. “oh, baby,” his hand caressed your cheek. “don’t make me spell it out for you…you know i want you”

“what?” you were only able to mutter, feeling the heat take over your face. maybe it was the liquor, or maybe it just was the fact that he said those words. you opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off. “every fucking day, I wish you were mine- every single goddamned day.”

you removed his hand from your cheek, silently missing his touch. “how was i supposed to know you felt more for me than just a friend, lu?” you saw his brows furrow. “you never explicitly told me, you wanted me..why?” you trailed off, you watched as he tried to come up with an explanation. “you never, ever, use your words like.”

you watched as he examined your face. you were mad but calm. it scared him, we’re you about to reject him? “for someone who writes songs for his job, he would be able to express his feelings freely. i guess not.”

“how did you expect me to decipher the hundred different ways you look in my direction? this isn’t just on me yknow. luke goes quiet, his eyes looking deeper into your eyes than before.

“i thought my actions would say all they needed to” you reply, “i thought you were just acting as a friend? you and all the guys act the same” luke locks his jaw, balling his fits by his side. “they act that way because they want to fuck you y/n.” you look taken aback legging out a scoff.

“so what about you, then?” “what about me?” “are you acting this way because you want to fuck me?” you smirk as luke realizes he backed himself into a corner.

“i—no? that’s not what—fuck.” he runs his hand through his hair. “let me start over. y/n, i’m sorry i wasn’t honest and i’m sorry i didn’t use my words. but i want you more than a friend should and i need to know, do you want me that way too?” you try to hide your smile while you step closer and wrap your arms around his neck. “see now was that so hard?”

he looks down at you, raising his eyebrow. “you didn’t answer the question.” you let the smile take over fully. “luke hemmings i have been tripping over my feet since the day we first met. yes, i very much want you too.”

he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, allowing him to peck your lips. “i was hoping you’d say that”

(and you can predict the end u filthy ppl<3)

#5sos fan fiction #5sos smut #5 second of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5sos x reader #5sos imagine #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings angst #bartxnhood asks #bartxnhood writes

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its-hyperfixation · 8 months

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take me as i am and i will take you as you are.

to my most beloved,

where do i even begin? words cannot describe the place you have in my heart and what you truly mean to me. i’m not sure how i ever survived a time where you weren’t in my life, it’s simply not possible anymore. you are an incredible light in my life, my reason to keep going, my biggest supporter, and dare i say the actual love of my life. you are the sun to my moon, the merlin to my arthur, the heart to my soul. thank you for choosing me and blessing me with your gorgeous self. i’m not sure how i got so lucky to be blessed with you.

i love you endlessly, happy anniversary @bellamyblakru <3

#HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY LOOOVEEE #best wife ever #hopefully the caption isn’t too sappy but i won’t lie i def teared up writing it #i love u sm i hope you like this merlin and his besties #i felt the lyrics to best friends were very fitting because u are my absolute bestest friend ever #and especially the caption it was giving wedding vow LOLL #this is very similar to a gifset i’ve done before it seems i am developing some sort of style? we shall see #ayman gifs #merlin #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #lancelot #gwaine #arthur pendragon #merlin gifs #merlingifs #merlance #merwaine #merthur #5sos lyrics #5sos best friends #bellamyblakru #xuserann #OKAY i’m adding these tags after giving u the drawing and this feels underwhelming now…#original plan was to give this first and the drawing after but now-#YET ANOTHER EDIT TO THE TAGS bro idk how i’m stupid enough to fuck up the scheduling #IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE IMMA GO CRY #ILYSM I HOPE U LIKE THIS SORRY IF YOUVE BEEN WAITING 😭😭

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lover-of-mine · 5 months

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Stained hearts trying to find a home, looking for something real...

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tteokdoroki · 1 year

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𑊡˚+₊🍼✦ — first loves + bkg.

૮ ͈>◡< ͈ა warnings — fluff + sfw, fem + black-coded!reader, post war, implied bnha spoilers, hints of ptsd/panic attacks, first loves, loverboy bkg, idk what this is guys they’re just kids in love and i wrote this listening to the new(ish) 5sos album bye.

they say you never really get over your first love, katsuki bakugou can attest to that.

in the summer after his eighteen birthday, his parents take him on one last family vacation before he breaks into the hero industry. they go abroad, somewhere far away from the trail of heartbreak left in japan— it’d been a hard year. he’d lost a lot. bakugou’s vision shakes a little in his grey-pinkish eye, his skin is bumpy with scars over his eyes and under his shirts. he’s a little more afraid to go in public in fear of being recognised.

so, katsuki takes that venture abroad. where no one knows who he is and what he’s been through.

katsuki’s parents like to explore, they drag him under a sun that’s a little foreign and not like japan’s across a strange city to try new foods that expand his horizons and makes his tastebuds a little happier. they force him to take photos in front of old bridges and historic monuments— though his dad snaps a nice one of bakugou walking through the bustling streets, a backwards baseball cap resting on his nest of hair.

on the last night, they have dinner at a beachside restaurant— bakugou excuses himself when the noises get a little too much and remind him of a time where nearly he lost his life. he stumbles out, down the steps and along the vast stretch of sand looking for the space to breathe along the waterfront. waves crash hard against the shore like the anxiety attacking his brain and katsuki has to crouch down to get a hold of himself before the world tilts too far and he falls off the invisible edge.

“are you okay?”

when he looks up, red eyes narrowly avoiding the glare of the sunset— he sees a girl. her skin looks like it’s been kissed by the solar system, beautiful brown tone glowing under the golden night— accompanied brown doe eyes boring deep into his own, reading his soul as if it were only made up of the constellations beginning to dot themselves in the sky. she has these braids he’s never quite seen before but they frame the roundness of her cheeks perfectly and…he’s never felt love before, aside from the kind you have for friends and family and bakugou doesn’t believe in fate. everything happening for a reason and shit.

because that would mean what happened to him…well, it would mean he deserved it.

but in this moment, the moment this girl offers him her hand and crouches down to see if he’s okay. he feels it. love, filling the blood that pumps through his beating heart. slowly, tenderly, his calloused and marred hand takes her own— the girl making a small noise of content as they sit together, bottoms wet from the sand.

they stay there, together for a while. katsuki and this strange girl he’s only just met— listening to the seagulls call for one another just metres above their heads accompanied by the waves that roll along the shoreline as if they were made to be together. it calms him down, and sure enough bakugou’s chest stops it’s heaving and the scary noises in his head back off for the minute. his mother screams his name in the distance and the girl looks over the blonde’s shoulder with her lips in a pout and brows furrowed— quizzical as if she’s putting together pieces of a puzzle.

“oh, you probably didn’t understand me earlier, right?” she speaks suddenly yet hesitantly, her voice filling his ears like cotton, in broken japanese instead of the fluent english from earlier. “a-are you okay?”

bakugou hums shyly, cheeks flashing red. “‘m fine now. couldn’t breathe before.”

“i’m glad—“ she starts to reply but bakugou’s mother has always been persistent and irritating especially at the worst times— yelling his name again. the pair’s shoulders rise like cats on the prowl and the girl let’s out the cutest laugh he’s ever heard in his life. “i think your mum’s calling, katsuki.”

“s-shut up!” bakugou scrambles to his feet just as the girl does, brushing the sand from her warm skin.

“you should go! i’ll see you around, kay?”

she’s gone before he can even blink, as if she were never there. the only way he truly knows that the girl was real is all thanks to his mother— mitsuki pestering him with questions about the girl all the way back to the restaurant. who was she? did you know her? are you okay? they all go through one ear and come out of the other. all bakugou can think about from then is how she thought she would see him again.

which wouldn’t happen, since he was leaving tomorrow.

for the next ten years, memories of the girl with honeyed brown skin and darling chocolate eyes haunt katsuki’s every waking moment. he tried everything in his power to forget her, his first love— even if they moments they shared together were brief, they’re all he thinks about when the world gets a little too ugly and a little too heavy to sit on his shoulders.

no one had ever been that gentle with him, treated him so kindly at first sight— after seeing all of him, scarred and all. no one has ever compared to her since.

that is until the warm tones of your voice echo through the dynamight agency one day— your japanese a little stronger than it was almost a decade ago when it changed the trajectory of katsuki bakugou’s life.

“h-hi, i’m here for the assistant role for um…dynamight?” you say, still shy and hesitant, still quiet and cute.

and only the heavens know how thankful katsuki is for not forgetting his first love— for remembering the way you talk, the way your eyes shimmer as he rounds the corner and reveals himself to you. taller than you remember, older and wiser than in your head— but still your first love too.

“you’re okay!” you squeak upon his reveal, clutching your bag in one shaky hand— voice wobbling as if you’d been worried about bakugou this entire time.

the blonde nods simply, trying to remember what it was he said to you all those years ago when you’d first asked him that.

“‘m fine, feel like i can breathe again.”

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou fluff #bakugou drabbles #bakugou imagine #bakugo x reader #bakugou x black reader #bakugou fics #tteokdoroki #✧ ₊˚੭ — writing #✧ ₊˚💭੭ — aali just posted #IDK WHAT THIS IS #was inspired by the new 5sos album lol

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talkfastromance4 · 2 years

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Older--Ashton Irwin oneshot

a/n: this idea popped in my head when I heard this song, it's so beautiful.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: Angst, Big Sad, major character death, mentions of BRCA genes, breast cancer, ovarian cancer, difficult pregnancy, sadness. Please read with caution, this is a heavy one

feedback is always welcome!💕

They’re sitting on the swing of their porch at the lake house watching the ducks swim across the lake, the ripples shimmering in the setting sun. y/n shivers and rests her head on Ashton’s shoulder as he tugs the blanket around her more securely. He continues to glide the swing with gentle pushes of his feet on the faded white wooden boards.

Today was a good day. They woke up, he made breakfast while they sat outside and listened to the forest wake up until Alma finally awoke. The three of them went for a walk, a short one, with Alma settled comfortably on Ashton’s shoulders. He held y/n’s hand tightly as Alma pointed out every song from the birds. While they walked, Ashton and y/n reminisced on how they met.

It was plucked from the scene of a movie, they were both reaching for the same book on the shelf. It was about getting intune with your feelings and thoughts, but of course, it was the last available copy. He giggled and she liked the sound when he said she should take it. She offered to share it once she’s finished and he liked her kindness.

They agreed to come back to the bookstore in a month to exchange it. When he asked for her number she told him it would be in the book.

A month went by and they met at the bookstore. When it was in his possession he noticed the dog eared pages as he flipped through it. There were highlights and written notes in the margins. He searched the front and the back for her name and number but came up empty.

“I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Have a good read.”

“Wait, that’s it? I thought I’d get your number at least or talk about the book.” He was disappointed she wanted to leave so soon.

“My number’s in there,” she nodded. “We can’t talk about it when you haven’t read it yet. Text me when you’re finished.”

He flipped through the pages again but didn’t find any digits. He’d have to read through it to find it.

“Wait! What’s your name?” he called as she almost walked out the door.

“Books are the source of knowledge,” she smiled then left onto the sidewalk.

He never read a book faster in his life. But Ashton also paused to read her thoughts in the margins and wrote down her highlighted phrases in his own journal. It wasn’t until page 237 that her name and number were written at the end of a chapter. He folded the page in half so he could find it right away when he finished; he wanted to text her right away but he wanted to keep his side of the bargain.

Once finished, he surprised her by calling instead of texting. He was disappointed that he got her voicemail but he left one anyway. y/n called back and they made a plan to meet that weekend to discuss the book over some coffee.

They went on many dates after that and by the sixth month she dropped a bombshell on him. She told him she has the BRCA gene and has decided to undergo a double mastectomy to help prevent the gene forming into breast cancer. She wanted Ashton to be aware and that this can end with no hard feelings but he interrupts her.

“Why would I want this to end?”

“Because I’ll be going through a lot, and it’s not your responsibility.”

“I want to help, in any way I can.”

“Ashton, I can’t ask you to do that–”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. I don’t want this to end, y/n,” he reached over to hold her hand. “I’m in this for the long haul.”

After more conversations, he helped her prepare for the surgery. He sat in the waiting room with Calum by his side. Ashton was right there when she woke up along with her parents (who he just met that morning). He helped her at home and with her exercises. He took her to checkups and when she had reconstruction surgery.

The first time they slept together took a few tries because y/n felt like an alien in her own body with her new breasts but Ashton was very patient with her. It was slow and loving and Ashton knew right as she fell asleep tucked against his chest, that he wanted to be with her forever.

“Ash?” she whispered and it pulled him from his reverie of memories.

“Yeah angel?”

“Can we go inside? I’m getting cold.”

He helps her stand and they slowly walk inside to see Alma–recently turned five– is eating breakfast with Calum and his wife Ida.

“Everything okay?” Calum asks in concern.

“She’s cold,” Ashton nods and they continue their slow shuffle towards the bedroom.

“Hi mommy! I’m eating all my pancakes!” Alma waves her fork with a pancake stuck to it in the air.

“That’s so good, honey, mommy’s proud of you,” y/n smiled and Ashton felt her body shake.

He helps her into their bed and drapes more blankets over her because she’s trembling so badly.

“How’s that, my love?” he asks touching her cheek. It’s cold.

“Better,” she smiled sleepily. “Did we bring the photo album?”

“We brought everything,” he nods. “Want me to get it?”

The photo album is large and heavy in his arms as he brings it over to the bed. He settles in next to her and her head falls on his chest like always and he flips through the first couple of pages. y/n loved taking photos of everything. They could take a day trip somewhere and she’d have a hundred new photos in her phone of flowers, sceneries, signs, and of Ashton. It was a book of their love shared together.

From their first dates to her progress photos from her first surgery, her growing belly that held Alma and everything in between. She pointed at each photo and rekindled a memory that Ashton knew like the back of his hand but he loved listening to her retelling of it.

It’s photos of concerts, vacations, silly photos with food on their faces and then the day she told him she was pregnant. It wasn’t planned at all and they’d only been together a year and a half but they were both so happy.

“You tried to give me an out with that, too,” Ashton accused lovingly and kissed the top of her head.

“I gave you a lot of curveballs,” she sighs and nestles into his shoulder more. “This page is my favorite.”

Her small hand stops his from turning the page. It’s full of photos of them dancing together; at weddings, at birthdays, on the beach. In some, they’re gazing into each other’s eyes but more often than not, her head is resting on his shoulder while their hands are clasped together against their hearts. His cheek resting on top of her head.

The next section is dedicated to Alma. It was a rough pregnancy for y/n because her immune system wasn’t all that good to begin with. She had to take more vitamins than the usual pregnant woman had to but Ashton helped her with that as well. She even had to get fluids because her body wasn’t keeping her hydrated. He pauses on a photo of her in the hospital with a bright smile on her face.

They met with her doctor on an almost weekly basis to make sure things were progressing okay. Her doctors were all surprised she became pregnant so easily in the first place and predicted the pregnancy wouldn’t be an easy one.

They were right.

The morning sickness lasted longer than normal and she had to be hospitalized a few times for that because she couldn’t keep anything down. Ashton hated seeing her like that and wished he could take away her pain, he saw how much it took out of her but she always had a smile on her face whenever she spoke of the baby.

“I hope he looks like you and has your dimples,” she’d say.

“What if it’s a girl?”

“I hope she has your dimples,” she smiled.

The doctor recommended it wasn’t too late to terminate the pregnancy as an option if she didn’t want to keep going through this and that made y/n irate.

“No, I can do this. I want to have this baby, I’m strong enough. I can handle it.”

It sounded to Ashton that she was convincing herself more than the doctor.

“No one is questioning your strength, love,” Ashton rubbed at her hands that always seemed cold to the touch. “It’s just an option so your body doesn’t have to go through these risks. You have eggs frozen, right? We can get a surrogate or adopt–”

“Ashton, I want this baby. I know it’s an option and I appreciate the knowledge of it but I can’t–the baby is healthy and that’s all that matters.”

“Okay. I support you no matter what,” he nodded and the doctor never recommended it again to respect her wishes. He also made sure to keep y/n comfortable.

When the morning sickness ended y/n and Ashton both thought they were in the clear and on a good incline for the rest of the pregnancy. But then she got gestational diabetes and they had to check her blood sugar every couple of hours.

“I’m sorry I’m such a hassle,” she told him one night while he pricked her to check her levels.

“You aren’t a hassle at all,” he shook his head.

“You’re with me around the clock, you haven’t written any music and it’s all my fault–”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he hushed as she began to sob. She was very emotional these days because of her hormones. “Nothing is your fault, okay? I love being with you and taking care of you. I love you, y/n. Just me, just you.”

She had to be bedridden for the last month of the pregnancy and a nurse would come by the house in the morning and at night to check on her. When it came time for the labor it was very swift and unproblematic at all which was a blessing and a huge relief. And their baby girl entered into the world.

Ashton cried when he first saw Alma, a name chosen by y/n because it means nourishing, kind, and soul. Alma was an exact replica of y/n.

“Marry me,” he said above Alma’s hat covered head.

“Okay,” y/n looked up and smiled at him.

Not long after Alma was born, Ashton and y/n were sitting in the doctor’s office. Alma slept soundly in her carrier on the floor, Ashton and y/n’s hands were holding tightly to each other. They were told Alma would more than likely be the only baby y/n could ever carry because her body couldn’t handle the added stressors of another pregnancy. At her last ultrasound, they found something in her uterus and on her pap smear that came up as precancerous. y/n would need a hysterectomy to make sure it doesn’t spread and progress throughout her body.

Ashton covered his face with his free hand and y/n tried to comfort him. The doctor gave them some privacy.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. People get hysterectomies all the time and they’re fine,” she soothed as his body shook with his sobs.

“I hate seeing you go through pain like this again and again,” he sniffed and she wiped at his tears.

“It’ll be okay, I promise. Like you said, we can get a surrogate. I’m just glad I got to carry our sweet Alma.” She gave him that smile that won him over so many months ago. It seems like a different lifetime.

“God, how can you be so positive still? It’s incredible and kind of annoying,” he shook his head and she laughed.

“I’ve dwelled in my sadness so much in the past that I choose not to anymore. And how can I be sad when I have you and Alma? We’ll get through this, honey.”

Her parents came for the surgery and to help with Alma while Ashton aided her during recovery. Recovery took eight weeks, which is two weeks longer than the normal recovery period because she got an infection. The guys helped out as well and made sure they were eating by setting up a meal plan.

Once y/n was recovered fully, she was a completely different person. She barely got a cold and right after Alma’s first birthday, y/n and Ashton finally got married. It was a very last minute ordeal because they both couldn’t wait anymore. Planning took three days but their friends and family helped. Crystal was in charge of caters and the decorations in the backyard. Sierra and Ida–she was only Calum’s girlfriend then–got the dress and flowers.

Michael officiated the wedding and Alma was walked down the aisle by y/n’s mother. Ashton could barely get through his part of the vows when he had to say ‘in sickness and in health’ because he hoped and prayed and wished with everything in him that y/n would never have to endure another sickness again. y/n held his hands and waited patiently until he finally got the vows out. They kissed and danced under the white canopy tent in their bare feet as Luke and Sierra sang a duet.

It was the perfect wedding.

More pages of the album showed memories of taking Alma to the zoo, to the park, to her first concert which was of her daddy playing the drums. There were more birthdays, a trip to Disney World, holidays and then a ton more when they bought the house on the lake. They spent every summer here swimming and taking Alma on the boat.

Shortly after Alma’s fourth birthday, Ashton saw a shift in y/n and as he flipped through the photo album he could physically see it in the photos as well. y/n lost weight at a rapid rate, she barely ate and he finally begged and begged enough that she went to see her doctor.

They were struck with horrible news again.

“How could she have ovarian cancer when you already did the hysterectomy? I thought doing that was supposed to prevent cancer,” Ashton was furious and y/n rubbed at his hand trying to soothe him.

They were told with treatment she could lessen it but her doctor still gave her a year. Ashton wouldn’t accept that. He was angry and scared so y/n agreed to the treatment to try and alleviate Ashton.

He didn’t break down in front of her. It wasn’t until Luke and Sierra sang a new song ‘Older’ that they wrote together and that finally did him in because he didn’t want to get older without y/n by his side. His meltdown over the song forced him to tell Calum, Michael and Luke about y/n’s recent diagnoses. All three of them cried with Ashton and sat in silence trying to keep their brother afloat.

While y/n was undergoing treatment, she didn’t get to go to Calum and Ida’s wedding but she heard all about it from Alma who was their flower girl.

A month before Alma’s fifth birthday, Ashton and y/n spoke with her oncologist again to see how the treatment was going. He gave them a somber expression, his eyes slid to y/n and she nodded in understanding but Ashton was confused.

“What?”

y/n turned to him with tears in her eyes, her voice shook when she answered, “this is it, honey.

It took him a while before her words finally sunk in. He denied it. He shouted. He threw a rampage on the doctor’s desk by knocking things off of it until y/n grabbed him and pulled him back into his chair. She caressed his cheek, tears streaming down both of their faces.

“I am deeply, deeply sorry y/n. You are the strongest person I’ve seen with such a great outlook on everything despite what you’ve gone through. You have no idea how much I hoped that this treatment would work for you. I wish I could give you five more years.”

“She deserves all of the years,” Ashton said and concentrated on the grooves of her hands.

“How much time?” y/n sniffed.

“Six months, maybe a year but that’s a stretch. We can set plans up that will leave you comfortable, whether that be at home, or here. I will do everything I can and that you want.”

“Thank you.”

That night, Ashton and y/n made love and he wasn’t as gentle as he should have been but he didn’t hurt y/n. She knew he was hurting and she wanted to take it away for him, much like how he always wanted to take away the pain she endured. He made love to her passionately, it was as if he was wishing all of his love he was pouring into her would be enough to keep her here with him.

She held him tightly and tenderly as he cried on her shoulder when they laid together after.

“I want you to do something for me,” she whispered in his hair.

“Anything.”

“I don’t want you to waste away when it’s over and I’m gone. You need to take care of Alma and I want you to be happy, okay? I want you to fall in love with someone who will take care of you the way you took care of me.”

“I don’t want anyone else. You’re all I’ve ever wanted and needed.”

y/n cried into his hair and they held each other, neither one of them wanting to talk about a future that now has an expiration date.

When they explained it to Alma, she was silent as her four year old mind tried to comprehend it. She understood her mommy was sick and that one day she wouldn’t be sick anymore but that means she wouldn’t be here with Alma and Ashton.

“I don’t want you to go, mommy,” Alma cuddled into her. They brought her onto their bed to tell her the news, it was the space she ran to whenever she was scared of storms. It was the space she came to feel safe when she had a nightmare.

“I know baby, I don’t want to go either. But when I’m all better, I won’t be too far from you. I’ll be up at the lake house, I’ll be in the water and the sun and in all the birds that sing to you in the morning and at night.”

y/n wrote letters and cards to everyone explaining her love for them. She wrote a letter for each year of Alma’s life that y/n would miss, her birthdays, her graduation, her wedding day, the day she became a mother. She wrote one's for Ashton’s birthdays and their anniversaries. She even wrote special ones for when he wouldn’t know what to do when Alma has a crush or when she gets her first period. She told him where the box of letters and cards were along with the photo album.

They got one last good day together and it was on Alma’s birthday. Ashton and y/n almost forgot she was sick again because that day was so full of love and laughter and so much life. y/n decided she wanted her last days to be at the lake house.

So, they packed up their things and left with Calum and Ida who agreed to come and help with Alma. They had a few more good days but they soon became far and in between. It was two months later when y/n started to get sick and she’d go days without eating. Her eyes darkened from her body shutting down and she didn’t want Alma to see and be frightened so Ida would put concealer on to hide the darkness that never disappeared.

“I love you so much, Ashton,” she said when they finished looking through the photo album. “You are the greatest love of my life and I wish I could have met you sooner.”

“I wish that, too. But I wouldn’t trade the days and years I’ve had with you. You’re the love of my life and no one will ever compare.”

“I want to sleep now, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” he kissed her head and hummed until she fell asleep.

***

A few days later she regained some of her strength and they danced in the living room with everyone over. The nurse recommended friends and family stay close when she’d come to check on y/n and administer with fluids and pain medication. Her parents flew in and so did Ashton’s mom and siblings.

The lake house was full of people and their bedroom became more crowded with machines to help y/n feel more comfortable.

“Ashton…” she croaked one morning and he could tell in her voice and by her eyes that today was the day.

He put on a brave face and told their families. He called the nurse to come by and stay to help y/n and he called her oncologist to let him know that it was almost time. While he made those phone calls y/n was saying goodbye in their bedroom. Tears were shed and hearts were breaking all around.

Alma could sense something was off and clung to Ashton’s leg while he made calls.

“Daddy, I’m scared,” she told him and he looked into her eyes. y/n’s eyes. She was the perfect replica of y/n and it filled Ashton with joy and an irrevocable sadness.

“I know my love,” he hugged her close, “I’m scared too. But we can be brave for mommy, right? Remember how she told you one day she’ll be better but can’t be with us anymore?” Alma nodded. “Well, today is that day. Your mommy isn’t going to be sick anymore.”

“Does she hurt when she’s sick?”

“Yes.”

“Then I don’t want my mommy to hurt anymore.”

“Me either sweetheart,” Ashton choked out and hugged her even tighter to his chest.

When it’s their turn to go inside, y/n has the biggest smile when she sees Alma.

“There’s my sweet girl!”

Alma climbed onto the bed and Ashton sat on the other side of y/n holding her hand as Alma settled against her mother. She breathed in deeply as y/n rocked her back and forth, stroking her cheek and brushing at her hair. It was a ritualistic habit she’s done ever since Alma was a baby.

“Mommy, are you going to be better now?”

y/n’s eyes met Ashton’s and he saw the tears well in them.

“Yeah baby, I’m going to be better real soon. You know what that means, right?”

“You won’t be with me and daddy anymore,” Alma sniffed. “Can’t you stay?”

“Oh, I wish I could honey. I never want to be a day without you but remember when else I said? I won’t ever be far away from you. I’ll be in here,” she touched Alma’s head, “and here,” and touched her heart, “and everywhere you look. You and daddy are going to be just fine, okay?”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m your mom, and no matter what your daddy says, I’m always right.”

“You are always right,” Ashton smiled.

“See? I love you so, so much, Alma. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Alma sobs into y/n’s chest and y/n holds her tight whispering soothing words and humming a song in between.

“You are the best thing I’ve ever done in this world.”

“I love you forever mommy.”

“Forever and ever and ever,” y/n whispers back then nods to Ashton.

Ashton has to pry Alma from her mother’s grasp but he knows it’s almost time and he wants Alma to remember y/n this way. Alma kicks at Ashton until y/n’s mother comes in to take her from the room. They hear Alma shouting from beyond the door and Ashton falls to his knees by their bed.

y/n rubs at his hair and hugs him the best she can, letting him cry on the blanket.

“You’ve held on for so long,” she whispers to him. “You can let it all out now.”

When he’s finished and his eyes are bloodshot, he crawls onto the bed carefully so he doesn’t disturb the wires and tubing that are hooked up to her. Their arms are entangled and she rests her head against his neck.

“Can you feel it?” he asks after a while.

“Yes.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Like I’m going to finally have rest,” she sighs.

They talk and look through the album some more and the nurse comes in to give her some more pain medication then leaves them alone once more. Ashton pets her hair and kisses her eyelids, memorizing all of her features that he has memorized time and time again. He feels her relax as the medicine kicks in, her breath has become more even.

“My dear devoted delicate,” she whispers and tilts her head up. “Kiss me.”

He gives her the softest brush of his lips against hers, it tastes like salt and love. She’s still so fragile and weak that he’s scared to hurt her.

“You and Alma are my life and my love” she says on his lips.

“And you’re mine, forever and ever.”

“Sing to me, please.”

He cradles her head close so he’s singing directly to her, his thumb strokes at her cheek.

“I don’t want to get older, without your head on my shoulder…on the day that you leave me I’ll forever be bleeding love…it’s not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two, just me…just you…just me…just you…”

He felt her slip away as he repeated the last few words, his singing shifted to whispers as the door opened and her nurse walked in to monitor the machine. Their loved ones stood outside the door as Ashton held onto her, singing and humming with the monitor slowing, slowing, slowing….

He felt her last breath, an exhale that sounded like his name. A last declaration of her love was expelled into the universe and Ashton’s world spun slower until it finally stopped when her head fell onto his shoulder one last time.

A Year Later

Ashton always wakes up before the sun and he wanted to make sure he’d wake Alma up at just the right time so she’d see the sunset with him. It’s their first time benign back at the lake and it’s been exactly one year since y/n passed. He couldn’t find it in himself to sleep in their room so he slept on the couch then he’d be able to hear Alma if one of her nightmares woke her up.

The first couple months without y/n were the worst of his life. Alma had night terrors as soon as the funeral was over. It was a lovely service and Ashton abided by all of y/n’s wishes. There were momentous amounts of flowers, a dozen photo boards and her favorite music playing over the speakers but as the final song she requested he play ‘When I’m Gone’ by Joey + Rory.

Ashton held it together until that very moment because he hadn’t heard that song since y/n played it for him when they were discussing her wishes. Alma climbed in his lap and they hugged each other tight, crying together.

Since her funeral, Alma couldn’t sleep and when she did she’d have terrible nightmares. She described them as dark shapes and seeing y/n but that ‘mommy was scary.’ Alma slept with Ashton in his bed for the first six months but each night got a little better and she can sleep in her own bed now.

He’s just finished pouring hot milk over the hot cocoa mix when he hears the door to her room open and Alma’s little feet smack on the floor.

“Daddy?”

“In the kitchen, peanut,” he calls to her and adds in the mini marshmallows. They always share a cup of coffee and cocoa together in the morning.

She steps in front of him, her Little Mermaid nightgown reaching just below her knees with a teddy bear that was y/n’s growing up held tightly against her chest. She’s rubbing at her eyes.

“Good morning,” Ashton smiles softly. “How did you sleep?”

“Good. I saw mommy and she was happy we’re here.”

“You did? That’s wonderful. How about we go for a walk in the woods like we did with mommy after we watch the sun come up and eat breakfast?”

“Yeah!”

“It’s almost time, let’s head out on the porch. Can you grab that big blanket over there?” He nods to the large quilt that was made from patches of pictures of y/n. It was a gift given to Ashton and Alma for Christmas and they always snuggled underneath it when they’d talk about y/n.

“I’m strong, I got it!” she squeals and hefts the large blanket in her little arms.

“That’s my girl,” Ashton smiles, “come on.”

Once they’re outside on the porch, Ashton drags over the bench so they can set their mugs on it. He brought the photo album out too so he and Alma can look at it while the sun comes up. Alma hops on the swing and Ashton settles the quilt over them.

“There we go, nice and cozy, right?” he asks hugging her close and kisses the top of her head.

“Yeah,” Alma smiles and stares out at the lake. A lone duck skirts onto the water. “Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

“I feel like mommy’s here.”

“I feel that too, peanut. But she’s always with us because we carry her in our hearts.”

“Where do you see her? ‘Cause I see her in the flowers at home and when it’s sunny while it rains.”

“I see her in everything, but I mostly see her in you,” Ashton pokes her nose. “You look just like your mommy, Alma.”

“I do?” she perks up at that.

“You definitely do,” he grins.

They stare out at the water watching the duck swim lazily through the water and the sun starts to peek over the trees. The sky is a brilliant orange and extends out in pinks and blues, the sun is chasing away the night. A mockingbird begins to sing somewhere amongst the trees and a breeze brushes his cheek.

“Hi my love,” he murmurs knowing it’s y/n.

He feels her all around this place and at first, he thought he’d come here and realize he hates it and never return. The first night was rough for sure but sitting out here with Alma fills him with peace. He looks down at his daughter and sees her strength and all her love exuding out of her, traits she inherited from y/n. He kisses the top of her head.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you sing the song mommy always liked?”

Ashton sucks in a breath, he hasn’t played that song since y/n’s death and the guys were more than understanding to not play it in front of him. It was a beautiful song but it just hurt too much. Gazing into Alma’s eyes and seeing y/n staring back at him…how could he refuse?

“Of course I can,” he says and clears his throat, “I don’t want to get older without your head on my shoulder, on the day that you leave me I’ll forever be bleeding love…it’s not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two, just me…just you…”

While he was singing y/n’s favorite parts of the song, Alma rested her head on Ashton’s shoulder. He may not grow older with y/n, but he’ll get to see his little girl grow up.

“Just me…just you…”

Taglist: @calumance @in-superbloom @calpalirwin @karajaynetoday @wiiildflowerrr @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @Fobodob @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower @mymindwide @itjustkindahappenedreally @seanna313 @mulletcal @pandaxnienke @hellasblessed @gwynethhberdara @in-a-world-of-fandoms @blairscott

#ashton irwin one shot #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwing writing #ashtong angst #ashton 5sos writing #5sos writing #ashton fic #ashton irwin fanfic #5sos fanfic

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starvinginbelair · 4 months

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matching chokers

#i feel so genuinely fucking insane about this actually #LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE MATCHING WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN.#something something soulmate bullshit #so conducive actually for the fic i'm writing rn #that choker around luke's neck.............................could be something else #iykyk #anyways will be thinking about this for the next calendar year actually #5sos #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #lashton

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grxcisxhy-wp · 2 years

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𝖼.𝗁. | 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋𝗌

back to masterlist

pairing ; c.h. x reader

requested ; yes

summary ; you stumble across a video of calum's fingers that has you all hot and bothered.

warnings ! SMUT, masturbating, fingering, riding, praising, finger sucking, titty sucking (?), unprotected sex, p in v, slight cockwarming at the end

word count ; 1.1k

a/n ; i think i have this weird thing for riding, but whatever. anyway, sorry it's been awhile i was just unmotivated, but weirdly listening to 1D got me to finish this work. also, thank you guys so much for 100 followers! hope you enjoy!

You had the day off from work, so you spent your time cleaning the home you shared with Calum and Duke. You had finished cleaning about half an hour ago, deciding to spend some time scrolling through social media on the living room couch.

Scrolling through your feed on Twitter looking at posts you were tagged in, posts Calum was tagged in, posts the band was tagged in, etc., you landed on a short compilation of Calum at different concerts, but the motion of his hand stayed the same.

Your eyes couldn’t help but focus on the movement of his fingers – them being the whole reason the compilation was made. Their movement was enticing and all too familiar – flashes of Calum’s fingers moving like that inside you playing in your mind. You just had to watch the video again… and again and again.

The need for Calum grew quickly from there, wishing he could hurry home from the studio faster, but you knew how important his music was to him. So, you decided to do the next best thing.

You laid back on the couch, spreading your thighs enough to slip your hand between them. You teased yourself over the fabric of your underwear – the only thing you were wearing other than a shirt of Calum’s. You tried to mimic the way Calum’s hands would tease you if he were there, but your fingers could never reach the right places like his would.

Still, you managed to work yourself up enough to have soft moans and whimpers falling from your lips. You had removed your underwear, rubbing shameless circles on your clit with one hand while the other moved at a steady pace in and out of your cunt. Lost in the feelings of your own fingers and imagining they were Calum’s, you hadn’t heard the door open and close.

Calum slid his shoes and jacket off after closing the door. He crouched down to the floor to meet Duke, smiling at the dog’s excitement in seeing him. When he stood up, he was about to call your name when he heard something that made him stop in his tracks.

He followed the noises that led him to the living room where he took in the sight of you spread out on the couch. He watched almost hypnotized as your fingers moved to please yourself. It was obvious to him that you were trying to replicate the way he did it.

When he snapped out of his stupor, he slowly made his way over to you as quiet as possible as to not disturb your concentration. He knelt down in front of the couch, leaving him almost eye level with your sopping cunt. He held back a groan as his fingers slowly moved to replace yours.

Your eyes shot open at the pleasant surprise of his touch. Your eyes found his already looking at you, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment as he began to rub circles just as you had been doing.

“Don’t be embarrassed, love,” he said, a small smirk adorning his lips. “Mind telling me what got you like this in the first place?”

“Saw a video,” you said simply, beginning to lose yourself in the feel of his hands.

Calum’s thumb kept at its motions on your clit while his ring and middle finger slid through your folds, spreading your arousal around. “About?”

“Your fingers. Liked the way they moved.”

At your admission, Calum slid his fingers into your entrance. He began moving his fingers in the exact motion of what had been in the compilation. “Like this.”

“Yes,” you gasped. “Just like that.”

Just as you felt the coil in your stomach begin to form, Calum removed his fingers from you. You watched with confused eyes as he stood up. His hands moved to his pants, unbuttoning them and pulling them down along with his boxers. His cock slapped against his stomach, and you moaned.

“Come here, pretty girl.” Calum held his hand out for you. You put your hand in his and he pulled you to stand up. He replaced your previous spot on the couch, patting his lap. “You want to sit on my cock?”

You nodded, quickly clambering over his lap. You used your hand to guide his dick through your folds before slipping it into your wet hole.

“Good girl,” Calum groaned. “Taking my dick so well.”

You moaned as you sank all the way down onto his length. His hands grasped your waist, helping you rise up only to slam you back down.

“So good,” you moaned.

“Yeah?” he said. “You just love riding my cock, don’t you?”

“Mhm. Love it,” you gasped. “Want it all the time.”

“That’s my girl.” He smirked, one of his hands abandoning its place on your waist to trail up to your breasts.

He palmed at one while he leaned forward to take the other in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the nipple before sucking it into his mouth, making you clench around him. He groaned and repeated the action, rewarding him with the same reaction, adding to both your pleasure.

You reached for the hand that was on your breast, bringing it up to your mouth. Calum had momentarily stopped his attack on your breast to watch as you guided his pointer and middle finger into your mouth. He was mesmerized as you swirled your tongue around the digits like you’d done to his cock countless times before.

He groaned and pushed his fingers deeper into your mouth. “God, you’re so fucking hot. Sucking on my fingers like it’s my cock. You like my fingers that much, sweetheart?”

You moaned around his fingers, nodding eagerly as you clenched on his cock.

“You gonna cum?” he asked.

You nodded, trying to ride him faster, but your legs had grown tired.

“D’you need help?”

“Please,” you said, words muffled by his fingers.

“Okay, love. You just keep sucking those fingers, okay?”

“Okay.”

Calum grinned and kissed your chin, not bothered by the drool dripping down it from sucking on his fingers. He wrapped his unoccupied arm around your waist, holding you up as he thrusted into you quickly. You whined around his fingers, walls clenching his cock as he hit deeper than before.

“That’s it, love. Let go. Let it all go.”

You practically cried out around his fingers as you came, his thrusts continuing through your climax. He groaned as he followed right behind, hot ropes of cum painting your walls.

He removed his fingers from your mouth as you came down from your high. He kissed you for the first time on the lips since he came home. It was lazy and messy, but neither of you cared.

“I love you,” you whispered as he pulled away.

He kissed your forehead. “I love you, too. Now, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Can we stay?” you asked. “Just for a little bit.”

“Of course,” he said, wrapping his arms around you. “We’ll stay for however long you want.”

#grxcisxhy's writing #calum hood imagine #calum hood #calum hood smut #5sos x reader #5 seconds of summer #5sos #calum imagine #calum hood oneshot #luke hemmings #michael clifford #ashton irwin #calum hood x you #calum hood x y/n #calum hood x reader #smut

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bellamyblakru · 1 year

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love me like you did (i’ll give you anything) (merthur au, canon universe wip) for @fluffypotatey

the enemy was a golden silhouette in the dying light, his hair a bright halo, a beacon leading his team onwards…

#ashley creates #merlingifs #alielook #userdorksinlove #xuserann #merthurgifs #merthur #bbc merlin #merlin fanfic #merlin fanfiction #merthur fanfiction #bamf merlin #idiots to lovers #5sos #outer space carry on #osco #5sos osco #ashley writes #love me like you did (i’ll give you anything)

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bloodhoundluke · 8 months

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for the love of strange medicine ✧ luke hemmings

pairing: luke hemmings x friend! reader

description: luke loves y/n in secret and his flirty comments make y/n's head spin. after calum's party, y/n finally gets an answer to luke's strange behavior.

warnings: alcohol consumption, cursing. please let me know if there’s anything else.

word count: 2,7k. a/n: hi there! this won the poll, the title was supposed to be 'it's impossible to ignore you' but i like for the love of strange medicine more :) i'm a bit rusty so please forgive me <33 and because i loved writing this so much, i think i'll do a pt. 2 to this!

The Californian sky was covered in haze that one Thursday. Luke stared at the cafe arguably named after a Steve Perry song: For the Love of Strange Medicine. It was fitting since Luke basically considered coffee to be his medicine, not to mention the delicious pretzels he had bought from the very same cafe a few days ago.

Luke rubbed his eyes and yawned, taking in the last smokes of the cigarette he had been inhaling on for the last three minutes. He swore to himself that it would be the last day he'd smoke. It wasn't. He pulled his phone out: 6:58am. He hated early mornings, and he hated how the cafe still wasn't open. Two more minutes, he told himself. He was growing impatient. Maybe it was the stress of recording a new album, maybe it was the fight he had with the manager last night.

When the clock hit 7am, you opened up the cafe. You gave Luke a soft yet tiresome smile which screamed It’s too damn early for this and he returned the favor. Luke saw the name tag on your black t-shirt: Y/N.

As time went by, Luke visited the cafe several times in an attempt to see your face again. To his misfortune, you weren’t working during any of those shifts. You had cut down your hours because of the intense lecture schedule. Luckily for Luke, you bumped into each other at a local festival while you both were watching Green Day play.

Your and Luke's friend groups emerged that night and you enjoyed his company too much for your own liking. You didn’t do men. You didn’t hang around them. Not even as friends. They all caused trouble for you. But with him, everything was different somehow. The night ended with you and Luke in your hotel room. There was nothing sexual about that night if not counting your lingering gazes at each other. You and Luke stayed up until seven in the morning, sharing your love of Green Day and Stranger Things, and talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

Luke and you started to grow closer since spending time together. It had been nearly 3 months since you had met and you felt as if you've known him for your whole life. Then Luke went on tour and he didn't want to believe he couldn't see your face as frequently anymore. You made him feel seen and most importantly, safe.

One time Ashton, Calum and Michael caught Luke looking at your Instagram pictures before a show. The boys couldn’t let it go and stop teasing about the way he was biting his lip nervously while scrolling through your Instagram page. Luke convinced them there was nothing to tease about. You were just friends, and that’s the way it would always be. Your lives were so different from each other; you, a part-time barista and a university student and Luke, a touring rockstar. It could never work.

You tried to forget your feelings for your friend, you really did. But you couldn't. Every corner of your flat and everyone you met reminded you of Luke. Even if it was someone’s blonde hair or a tiny detail in their jacket. Everyday activities such as going grocery shopping which you normally enjoyed couldn’t get him off your mind. You’d see the Australian-grown coffee beans. Boom, Luke. Lavender-scented laundry detergent he used. Luke again. And the fact that Luke texted you every day didn't help in the process of trying to forget the feelings you had for him.

—❦

You were attending a party tonight. But not just any party, Calum's party. His parties were known for a good time and endless bottles of free booze.

You wiggled on your black leather dress, which you had just bought. It barely covered your knees and you loved how it hugged you from all the right places. The combo of the leather dress, red lipstick and curly hair gave you all the confidence you needed to go out tonight and see Luke. Yes, he was your friend but you still felt nervous around him. And you blamed him for that. His James Dean glossy eyes and irresistibly long curly hair. His charm and his stupid dad jokes. You were whipped for him and it was a wonder no one around you noticed that. Or that’s what you thought anyway.

You recall the last time you had seen Luke. He had called you and asked to pick him up from his apartment a week ago. You knocked on his door and saw him with someone. A tall, gorgeous woman. Seeing the model-looking brunette beside Luke made your stomach flip. He seemed so happy with his arms around her waist. Maybe he had met her when he was on tour. You greeted them both and bit the insides of your cheek. That memory reminded you of the time you were helping him to pick out an outfit for him for his date a few weeks ago. Maybe it was for her. He had just returned back home from the tour and the poor man was all over the place. Maybe it was nerves, maybe he was just tired from touring. You imagined how Luke would get ready for your date and ask for assistance from Ashton, Michael and Calum. But that would never happen, so you snapped out of the thought. You were only hurting yourself by having these thoughts. You were such a fool for him, and you didn't know how to make it stop.

You sat down on top of your bed and decided to check Instagram on your phone. “He’s so pretty I think I’m gonna faint”, you whispered mainly just to yourself.

“Who are you talking about?”, your friend heard your little comment and frowned their eyebrows.

“Uh….maybe I’ll keep it a secret”, you winked.

“C’mon Y/N!”.

“Okay, I was talking about Timothée Chalamet. He looks so pretty”, was the lie you came up with. You couldn’t tell them you were talking about Luke. You had just seen his new Instagram photo and can’t get over his pretty blue eyes. And his curly locks. And that god-damn jawline. And his….well, everything.

“I know right! Maybe we should go watch the new movie so we’ll have some eye candy”, your friend winked.

“It’s a date”, you laughed.

You were still waiting for Luke to pick you and your two friends up. But he was late, like he always was. You had lectured him about his tendency to be late countless times. But he could never learn, could he? It was needless to say that you were pissed off.

Twenty minutes rolled by and Luke finally showed up. He offered his apologies to you and your friends. Your friends had already gone out and got themselves seated in the car, while you and Luke were still inside of your flat. Luke needed hairspray to lock his hair in place. Then Luke made his way to the hallway while you were checking that you had everything necessary with you. That one time you forgot your keys back home still haunted you, hence you had to double-check everything now.

“You got everything?”, Luke held the door open for you and the button of his already opened black and white star-patterned collar shirt popped off. “Oops”, he chuckled to himself. He didn’t bother to fix it. Not when he noticed you basically drooling over him.

“Yeah”, you answered nonchalantly and avoided eye contact with him. You had been on the edge the whole day and Luke being late didn’t exactly make you feel any better.

“I hate that you’re mad at me, but you look so hot right now”, he smirked at you. Luke was always like this with you. He flirted with you and you flirted back when it felt natural. But since he started to hang around the brunette woman - whose name you didn’t even know - you started to think that maybe you should stop flirting back. But you didn’t know if they were exclusive or not. Luke didn’t exactly bother to open up about the romance department in his life. Not to you anyway.

“Thanks. I like your hair”, you commented. You noted how he saw you fiddling with your bracelet. It was the one Luke won from Push A Prize that one Saturday night in July. Its pearls were your favorite color, blue.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too long?”.

“I think it’s good”.

“Just good? Don’t you mean gorgeous? Perfect?”, the blonde rockstar snarked.

“Shut up”, you slapped his hand gently and giggled.

"You okay?", he asked quietly as you were still fiddling with the bracelet.

"Yep, let's go", you gave Luke a small smile and received a nod in return. You took the passenger seat and he sat next to you and fired the engine.

“Took long enough”, one of your friends commented. “Blame Luke and his Prince Charming hair”, you rolled your eyes and looked at your friends in the backseat, and then at the man beside you.

"Geez, thanks for throwing me under the bus", Luke answered sarcastically, tapped the steering wheel with his fingers and turned the music up. Nickelback, of course.

You arrived at Calum’s house. You were walking side to side with the blondie, hand in hand. It was natural. You gravitated towards each other all the time, but you took it as a sign that you felt comfortable with him. Not just anyone could make you feel this way.

“We’re in public, you know that right?”, you asked him as he was still holding your hand. You couldn't even count the times people mistook you for a couple, and doing these kinds of things that could be seen as couple-y felt a bit odd for you sometimes.

“Yup”, he popped the p and offered you a cheeky grin.

“So why are you still holding my hand?”, you genuinely asked Luke whose eyes were fixated on the crowd of people mingling.

“Don’t want you to get lost. I know you’re bad at taking directions”, he smirked and saw you looking at him with a questionable look. Those words sounded like honey and you hated yourself for it. Oh, only if he wasn’t as charming as he was. It would make everything so much easier for you.

“Right”, you laughed it off and rolled your eyes. It’s not like you haven’t been to Calum’s house a million times before…

“You should wear that dress more often”, he cooed confidently into your ear and let go of your hand.

“Okay, Mr. Leather Pants”, you laughed and avoided his eye contact. You disappeared into the sea of people and fixed yourself a drink. You didn't really know what to think about Luke's behavior. He was flirtier than usual and you couldn't pinpoint why. The next few hours were spent by dancing with your friends and having conversations with drunken strangers.

—❦

Later, you noticed Luke navigating through the crowd to get to you. He spent a few minutes explaining how his leather boots got stuck in the mud in Europe while touring and how you would have laughed your ass off if you had seen that. Then, the unimaginable happened and he started spinning you around the dance floor. He had always been a fun drunk, that's for sure. He dropped you down carefully from the air and his hands laid comfortably on your waist. But not for long as the upbeat song shifted into a slow one, a shortened version of Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran. Shit.

You wrapped your hands around his neck almost intuitively. “Fuck it, let’s show them how to dance”, you lifted your left eyebrow and thought of how your hands will be sweaty in under a minute. Or twenty seconds, if you were being completely honest.

Luke placed his ring-covered hands, noticeably bigger than yours, back to your waist. “We’re so much better at this than these amateurs”, he looked deeply into your eyes and it felt like he scanned every little feature in your face. It felt intimidating. Being that close to Luke. Being that close with Luke.

“You should definitely consider Dancing with the Stars”, you commented and smiled as you intertwined your fingers behind his neck.

“You reckon?”, his eyes lit up and it's like you could almost see a blush creeping upon his cheeks.

“I see the UK accent has made a mark on you. Has a nice ring to it”, you confessed as you slow danced with your best friend.

“Thanks to you, ms. English Love Affair", Luke gave you a dirty look and chuckled semi-nervously afterwards.

"Oh, you wish", you replied with a nervous giggle and you two continued dancing in silence.

—❦

At 3am the party seems to die out and as usual, Luke walks you to your apartment. About half of the 15 minute walk you have talked about utter nonsense, like how many squirrels Luke saw during the tour and how many latte macchiatos you did during the time he was away.

“Can I ask you a question?", you asked as your heels clacked along the concrete.

“Sure”, Luke answers almost instantly, coughing afterwards.

“You were flirting with me the whole night and…”, you started your monologue which you had planned during the party.

“That’s not a question”, he interrupted and gave you a wink.

“Let me finish, you dumbass”, you answered, your tone being a mixture of playful and irritated.

He zipped his mouth and smiled back at you. You were standing in the front of your apartment, feeling a little cold in the chilly autumn air.

“I just wonder…why?”.

“Don’t we do that, like, all the time?”, he chuckled and stared down at his hands, then scanning your face for a while.

“I guess so, yeah. But it’s innocent. It wasn’t like that today. Or am I crazy? Am I imagining this? Please tell me it was just my imagination, I can- ”, you explained and could already feel how humiliated you'd feel soon.

“I don’t really like to tell you to shut up, but just for once, shhh Y/N. It wasn’t just you”, he took a step closer to you and placed a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I like you. Definitely have for a while. Maybe the whole time I’ve known you. I like spending time with you. You are the funniest person I know. And you give the best fashion advice. And beneath that sarcastic exterior is such a soft and empathetic soul. You don’t brag about your kindness, which makes it real. And I could talk to you for hours and never get bored. And for you, I would do the dishes happily. Believe it or not, no one has ever managed to bring out that side of me”, he chuckled as you remain speechless. His sudden declaration of love - well maybe not love, interest perhaps - made you grin like a child who just got a new toy.

“And shit, Y/N, I just adore you. And the way your laugh reminds me of home. I lo-, like how you play with your earrings when you are nervous. It’s adorable. And I-”,

“I don’t need to hear a novel of how much you like me, Luke”, you interrupted him.

“I know, but you deserve it”, he spoke softly and his lips turned into the classic Luke smile, which you found incredibly sweet.

“Save it for later”, you took a long look at those eyes that reminded you of the ocean and down to his pink and plump lips which you had dreamt of kissing for so long.

And then it happened. His lips were pressed against yours, making the time stop for a while. And his hands in your hair, tugging them slightly, not enough to hurt. Your fingers held the waistband of his pants. The way he moved his lips against yours was hungry, desperate, full of emotion he had never been able to release. It was electric, enough to make you release a little moan into his mouth.

“What the fuck is happening here?”, you heard all of the sudden and both of you turned to see none other than the Michael Clifford pressed against the door.

“And what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?”.

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