one of my favorite things is elves having base 8 math. so you can have Situations™️ when someone in the dragang has a birthday. take for instance this hypothetical
Rayla: I'm so glad my parents and Runaan are back! And just in time for my twenty-fourth birthday!
Callum: your WHAT.
Rayla: My birthday!
Callum: no hold up a second. go back. you're HOW OLD???
Callum: so you were. you were twenty when we first started dating?
Rayla: yes? Is something wrong?
Callum: I was FIFTEEN
Rayla:
Rayla: WHAT?!?!?! How-- who-- what-- I think I'm going to be sick. You seemed older than that! I can't believe I-- so that means now you're--
Callum: Nineteen.
Rayla:
Rayla: what's nineteen
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could the niji 6 theoretically function as a kpop group?
i found out last night that apparently the niji 6 is a group that while, yes they do commit war crimes and murder, they also are a performing group. the art book states that their moves are choreographed to at least some extent! now that begs the question;
could they rise to the top of the charts and become korea's eden's top group of the century?
let's find out!
let's begin with each member and how they're presented:
- the captain, red. bombastic and arrogant
- the tank, blue. silent and a tank
- the sass, violet. snarky and quick-witted
- the go-getter, black. excited and a bit too prepared
- the smarts, yellow. knows bullshit and keeps the team on track
- the green one. has a gun
we have a lot to work with, obviously!
now before we start, im going to say that we're going to ignore their canonical piles of bodies and child soldier endorsements they have under their belt! anyways, the main things for a kpop group to thrive, regardless of vocal talent, are coordination, visuals, and personality.
starting off with coordination, we clearly see that bodily there is a lot of coordination! they get into perfect poses for their team intro stances AND they move as a perfect unit. it's honestly admirable. they even make a satisfying idle position. it shows off their personalities well!
you can tell there is personality to each of them! from the imposing stature of blue, to the spotlight hungry red, to black ready to fire, it's clear this was practiced to exemplify their greatest personality traits! so for coordination, i WOULD give them 5 stars, however, clearly red's own desires override the entire group's objectives as whole, throwing off the whole balance that the niji 6 would have. so for red, 3 stars. he got them blown up for fucks sake
talking about personality, unfortunately red really takes up all the space for it. we get snippets of it with the dialogue that they all (as in four of them) exchange with each other, with red being the most memorable. we do see a few bits within black, yellow, and violet though. black is clearly all too excited to fight against gay people, pink is teasing with the 'i was just asking myself, can i get the arm?' and yellow with the clear callout to his leader's ego. in fact, violet's personality seems to clash with red a lot, as when red is being cocky about taking care of the vr facility, violet is the one to say "thats fucking bullshit, you could barely handle rayman." the two of them were in fact about to get into an argument before yellow, clearly the voice of reason within the group, calls attention to dolph. so there is some entertainment value within the group dynamics, and there is thankfully a mediator of sorts. i would say they could possibly be a good group, but would have plenty of drama. if they can find a good balance between drama and friendship, they'd thrive. as they are now, i'd say 3.8 stars.
lastly, visuals. i'll begin with the men, as they (of course) have the greatest visual variation. we get something for everyone here! to take from the ouran host club, blue is the silent intimidating broad body type, yellow is the cool and collected slightly skinnier type, and red has a big ass. no im so fr he has a big ass. why does his ass matter?
let me tell you about monsta x. it's a group that is sadly disbanded but one of their most popular members, wonho, is known for a lot of things. his vocals, his charm, his big fucking muscles
like holy fucking shit??? genuinely we dont get kpop stars like this he's on the uncommon side. thats why he's renowned. it's insane. women and gay men alike adore him. also idk if hes really that renowned im a casual kpop fan but TRUST. that man has millions of followers on instagram and i guarantee not all of them were monsta x or kpop stans. ik im not a monsta x fan but i still follow him
now if we take in the fact that the ENTIRE niji 6 is built, then we could reasonably come to the conclusion that visuals? banger. the women are also definitely muscular as well. like wlw are the strongest soldiers the kpop industry have. they'd buy the shit out of every bit of niji 6 merch. so i'd say a tentative 4 stars, because what if they face reveal and the general population finds them ugly??? the allure is a major factor, but it goes away when the mask is gone.
now, i would say that yes, absolutely, the niji 6 would thrive at the top as a kpop group. however, the bigoted nature of red would have them cancelled by the first promotion. so unfortunately, since red can't shut the fuck up, the niji 6 would be eaten alive by the kpop stans.
at least their fan chant goes hard
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Imagine the season just opens with buck and eddie making out in bed
That's actually my worst nightmare, no cap. I wanna see them getting together in excruciating detail. If the show just skips ahead to them together, I would be seriously annoyed. You can't have the slowburn potential the 2 of them have and not give us a payoff that's worth the build up. They have the potential to be THE slowburn romance of television and if they go there, they need to do it right. We've been waiting for too long for them to just go "and then they kissed".
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